#but I’m feeling more and more positive about life

[punkpandapatrixk]

🧝🏻‍♀️Mystical Glow-Up Secrets ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

Your mystical glow-up is literally divinely ordained, no cap HAHAH I’ve got this vibe from the deck-bottom but let me start with this quote:

'A Humanity that thinks materialistically will produce frightful beings in the future, and a Humanity that thinks spiritual thoughts, will work upon and transform the future organism so that beautiful Human bodies will proceed from it.' – Rudolf Steiner

Oh, gosh.

We are in an era of spiritual consciousness. This is an era where we learn to reflect outwardly what it means to be a 5D-Consciousness Being. Living in a 5D consciousness, people naturally feel lighter, freer, younger, prettier, healthier, more fit, more stress-free, more energetic; all because people's whole vibrations are 'triggered' by a more spiritual ae-nergy.

ae is known as chi or prana or orgone in other languages; by synchronizing with your ae, ever so organically your body learns to derive vital energy from a purer source of consciousness—a high vibration of aetheric authenticity—that reflects in the physical world as a glow-up of the highest divine order~♥︎

As your Mind comes into alignment with the ae of your Spirit, so your Body becomes attuned to that Order. The significance of ae will only grow as more people come into a spiritual kind of liberation from the chains of insecurity propagated by the monsters in the media and politics.

No matter what the propaganda of the moment may say and try to do, you could always be the conscious individual that distils information and derives from this process only the essence of what is good for you on a personal level. If you’re happy, satisfied, confident and proud with your intelligent conscious choices, that spark of contentment is what truly makes a person glow from the inside out~★

education: Body Care and Grooming (1948)

technomagy: Facial Symmetry with Muscle Toning (Energetic Programmed Audio) by Sapien Medicine

deck-bottom: XX Judgement Rx, Silver Historian (Polydore Vergil), Priestess of Beauty

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 3]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – As You Mend Your Heart, Babe, All of You Gets Beautiful Again

assistance: what is coming is 100000x better than what is gone by doyouflow

what’s been taken from you? – 9 of Wands

Although this is a 9 of Wands card, I see that the entirety of your Pile is water-based. You’re someone whose heart is very pure and kind, and you’ve sacrificed a lot of yourself for being there for others. I’m hearing: ‘for a pessimist I was pretty optimistic, and I got nothing—NOTHING—but betrayal and abandonment, and I am exhausted.’ Being charitable around the wrong fucker can surely drain our spiritual aenergy!

You’ve been through multiple cycles of ‘exhausting’ friendships with people who couldn’t appreciate you for the delicate human that you are. They only saw you as this fiery, strong, charismatic capable individual who always managed to whip up a positive attitude in any circumstances. It never occurred to them—not that they’d care to wonder anyway—that maybe this time around you’re the one needing a hug.

Nobody cared; and even the ones who pretended to care, only wanted to know what your gloominess was all about. And they went on to talk shit behind your back and had a good laugh about it. ‘MU HA HA HA, turns out Y/N ain’t even that shit! Y/N is pretty pathetic/loser/crazy BU HA HA HA HA!!!’ Funny thing is, you always knew about their shit one way or another and the whole revelation broke your heart to pieces. Multiple times with different people… tsk tsk…

recalling fragments of your beauty – 9 of Cups

Well, now, I can see you’ve lost a lot of these ‘friends’ and worked on yourself to create new neural pathways towards a truer sense of spiritual abundance. I’m sure right now your Life is pretty OK in areas like finance and material security; your job or creative project is going swimmingly; you have a pretty good work-life balance; and for the most part you’re really enjoying the peacefulness of your solitary Life.

But if there’s one thing, I think you haven’t had a really good conversation with someone interesting in a pretty long time. I see that your eyes have not twinkled from being complimented by someone genuinely kind in a really long while. You’ve lost a lot of your affection for people and you’ve lost faith in being energetic and social. People always disappoint in the end because their hearts are ugly and they’re mean to each other. This deep-seated belief has caused your eyes to look dead and droopy.

Have you perhaps noticed that you’ve developed a set of sanpaku eyes? The minimalistic science behind it states that people could develop sanpaku eyes after going through a lot—like a FUCKTON—of heartache and disappointments. I think your case could be dealing with some kind of a ‘betrayal trauma’ or some variety of ‘injustice trauma’. Look ‘em up, babe~ ♥︎

sealing the deal with the Divine Feminine – Knight of Cups

If some years have passed now since the last time you were around your fake friends, or even frenemies, I want you to know that your beauty has not been lost to time or ageing. Nope. Not at all. That’s bullshit. I can see that you’re the type of person who ages very UNNATURALLY. If your natal chart has a lot of Water aenergies or you have strong placements in Water Houses, you’re defo the type of bitch that can TRANSFORM your physical appearance by sheer mood ;D At this point, you can’t even age coz that skin barrier is strong AF LMAO

THAT’S WHY! Your true mystical glow-up secret lies in your mending your pretty Heart~ You’ve never had an ugly Heart, obviously, and still now it’s not ugly or anything; but it’s the way you think about how deserving you are of a friendship or relationship that honours your complex sensitivity that needs to be acknowledged and RECLAIMED. Doesn’t matter how, doesn’t matter when or who’s coming next, I just want you to know that if this reading has popped in to your Life… Your Soulmates are coming to get you, bitch. Pack up and play in the sea! XD

The good times that you’re going to be having with your Soulmates, Soul Tribes, Soul Fam—however you may resonate—are going to refill the stars in your Heart, automatically reflected in your eyes~ ★_★v Hahah I promise you that you’re going to reunite with Souls who are very, very old friends with you. You’re going to live a very happy, passionate Life doing things you like with people you Love… How the hell do you think that’s not gonna heal all of you and make everything about you beautiful again?😉

Originally, you’re a beautiful bitch. And if you’ve also got some Capricorn/Saturn/10th House placements, it’s very likely you’re ageing backwards! What the hell even is that?? \`★_★`/

GODDESS OF BEAUTY🔻💙

beauty on the inside – Green Physician (Paracelsus)

beauty on the outside – Priestess of Inspiration

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – It’s the Passion in Your Heart That Reflects Outwardly Your True Inner Beauty

assistance: I TRUST things aren’t falling apart they are FALLING INTO PLACE by doyouflow

~wah, girl, you really gotta check out the bonus content for this one XP~

what’s been taken from you? – 5 of Cups Rx

Out of all the Piles, you’re the baddest bitch of them all, do you realise that? You’ve got the most unhinged aenergy about you XD You’re a psycho, you know that? You’re generally thought of as either unpredictable or uncontrollable, but you could also be both, unprovoked LMAO People think you’re a problem child, because you’re so gutsy. I’m literally not getting ANYTHING about what’s been taken from you ^_^; Are you sure you still need this PAC? XD

First of all, you literally exist in your own dimension. That’s why people can’t control you. They can’t tame you. You’re a weirdo, a maniac even, who does things your way, plans things according to your vision, and yours alone, for the most part. People think you’re rather selfish but it’s because you’re a girl, right? If you were a man they’d say you’re DRIVEN. And yes! DRIVE that Bentley, bitch! No, DRIVE that Tesla into OUTER SPACE, bitch! You don’t appreciate people telling you what you CAN’T do!

And you don’t like it when people gaslight you about your confidence just because they’re a little bitch. You love being a Supreme Bitch—you’re a girl on a mission; ain’t nobody got the aenergy to listen to nobody’s guilt-tripping. And in that sense, your spirit and psychology have never really been hit by society. Society has never been able to take away anything from you ♡

recalling fragments of your beauty – XIV Temperance Rx

I see that your Beauty has stayed intact for the majority of your Life. It’s not like you’d resonate with having lost fragments of your beauty to years of depression, malnutrition or anything of the sort? Your mindset has remained strong for the majority of your adult Life. You have a strong mentality and this is reflected well in your physical body. A glow-up is easy, as long as you want it. And for the most part, your glow-up is tightly bound to your sense of purpose.

You’ve always known you’re meant for great things. And from a very young age you already worked on your mentality. You REFUSED to be normal, you refused mediocrity. It wasn’t a walk in the park until you reached your conviction though. Your childhood was rather constrictive, either due to societal expectations…or familial expectations. The adults around you thought you didn’t notice but you saw all of these fences put around you, and they pissed you off. Even your peers couldn’t understand what you wanted to make out of yourself.

So you rebelled from a very young age. You were, yes, THEE problem child, only because the small-minded people around you were a problem to your goals! Such hindrance. And now you’re glowing up and grabbing all the money bags and they jealous? Are you even fucking kidding my butt? Your path towards a total glow-up of your mindset and real life was not always perfect, but what’s perfection? All of the struggles play into creating your lore👑

sealing the deal with the Divine Feminine – 2 of Cups

If you’ve never heard anybody tell you this, allow me to be the first. Your drive, your determination, your ambition and motivation, although these qualities may make you appear like a selfish bitch on the outside, I, ME, MYSELF, understand that you want these things not only for yourself. There are people in this world you want to protect and provide for. Maybe it’s your mother who was abused or left by her deadbeat husband, idk. Maybe it’s a sibling or a pet you want to give the best Life for, idk.

Maybe, you want to achieve success and fame and be seen by the world, because you want to save the world from the malady of its own crazy, idk~ You want to be an example, a healing presence, a voice of reason, a voice for the voiceless, idk? You may look a certain bitchy, scary way on the outside, but your heart is good; it’s PURE GOLD. You live for the betterment of someone else and if that’s not LOVE, what is?

What most people don’t understand about you is how your sparkle of beauty literally comes from this desire to protect and provide for someone other than yourself. You have a lot of Love in your heart, even if you don’t always admit it to yourself. Your entire Life, your glow-up has come from your being DRIVEN. Vroom vroom, MOTHERFUCKER .・°☆~ You leave a trail of stardust for your aenemies ♥︎

GODDESS OF BEAUTY🔻💛

beauty on the inside – Green Alchemist (Nicolas Flamel)

beauty on the outside – Priestess of Patience

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – When Your Existence is Useful to the Healing of Others, Their Love/Gratitude Nurtures You Back to Health

assistance: you get to be universes favorite by doyouflow

what’s been taken from you? – Page of Cups Rx

See, it’s crazy that literally a few mins before starting on you, Pile 3, I came across a quote that says this:

‘Some of us are such advanced Souls that we did not come here to be supported, but we came to be the support system for many. If you’ve had a challenging Life and feel you never had proper support or Love, that is because YOU are the Love and Support.’

Well, my heart broke, but…hey, there’s clarity and validation there😊

All of these cards are in reverse, telling me there’s a lot that’s been taken from you. Your heart, compassion, resources, money, hobby items, OMG, the list is endless! So much has been taken away from you. Either by people borrowing stuff without remembering to return or people getting a favour without returning it to you. At least, even when it seemed like they did return some favour to you…the return was either lacklustre or just…it didn’t feel right?

You’ve felt gaslit too much your entire Life. An incessant feeling of being unseen, unappreciated, unloved, could’ve eaten away at your self-worth. You’ve often been the miracle in someone else’s Life, but when it comes to you needing a transformation in your Life, where’s MY miracle…? I think you could have Chiron in 12th House or Pisces? That kind of placement is one where an individual constantly feels like they’ve been forsaken by God, or the positive forces of the Universe…

recalling fragments of your beauty – 3 of Pentacles Rx

The truth of the matter is, you’ve not been forsaken by your Spirit Guides. See, this message is gonna be especially resonant for you who do have Chiron or Saturn in the 8th or 12th House—that the Universe, your Higher Self and Spirit Guides have given you so little guidance and support, because you’re meant to learn how it feels like to be in the shoes of Humans. See, it’s not to say these Humans do not have support—babe, they CAN’T access the support because they’re BLIND and DEAF AS FUCK.

Humans are so embarrassingly divorced from their own intuition. Even the most religious folks are blind and deaf to actual angelic whispers. In many cases, because their false religions have taught them to worship wrongly and be obedient to evil authority and not question any injustice and wrongdoings. The more blindly religious a person is, the more separated they are from their own Humanity, because now their ears are deaf to empathy.

You came into this world to understand the twists and turns of how it feels like to navigate this crazy Matrix with so little guidance, so that one day, when you’re propelled into your main mission, you can remind and even teach people how to re-connect with Love—the true source of all compassion and Divinity in Human Form. When you remind people of their Humanity, you regain, and grow exponentially in Beauty ♥︎

sealing the deal with the Divine Feminine – 6 of Pentacles Rx

So, as you can see, you have a very important spiritual mission in this incarnation. I do not give a goddamn dime what you think you look like; whether or not you‘re conventionally attractive; whether or not you fit some bullshit beauty standards; YOU ARE FUCKING BEAUTIFUL when you’re seen sharing your healing gifts with the world! You do remember that a lot of historians say Cleopatra wasn’t perceived as necessarily that conventionally beautiful by most people, right? But that everybody was charmed by her intelligence and charisma when talking about politics?

Yeah, you give me that vibe, bitch <3 That the essence of what you do to alleviate sorrow in the world, when seen by others, when people listen to what you say, when what you do or write changes people’s lives for the better, when people feel motivated by your sheer aenergy to improve themselves—it’s that kinda shit what will help you regain your natural beauty, or manifest a glow-up ☆

When you engage in your Life’s main mission, it’s people’s Love for what you do and the Gratitude they feel for what it’s done in their lives what will aenergetically nurture you back to health. In a nutshell, people’s appreciation for your Life’s Work IS your support system in this world—later on in Life maybe if you haven’t started. It is your Purpose to be useful to the healing of others~ You’re defo gonna have an audience \^_^v Namaste, bitches~★ I honour all that you’ve been through and all that you’re going to do for this world~ You’re so LOVED!!! <3

GODDESS OF BEAUTY🔻🧡

beauty on the inside – Gold Historian (Raphael Holinshed)

beauty on the outside – Priestess of Love

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 3]

[Patreon] [Paid Readings]

[avidboafan]

RED THOUGHTS : “CAN’T HELP MYSELF”

idol : bf!hyunjin x reader

content : smut | masturbation | handjobs

summary : when hyunjin thinks about you, he can’t help but get hard and he’s too shy to ask for help until you accidentally chance upon him touching himself to the thought of you.

notes : first post! requests are open! sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language. all reblogs and comments are appreciated!!

minors do not interact! 18+ content! nsfw!

he’s getting so desperate for you.

he really wants to hold back. he really does. but he just can’t. he can’t stop thinking about you. it’s only the third time you’ve met him as your relationship becomes official. yet why does he crave you so badly? the way your slight frowns turns into a sweet smile as you talk to him about everything under the sky. the way your eyes sparkle as you see him. the way your shorts tightly hug your thighs. the way your hands elegantly grip around everything you touch.

he wishes it was his dick instead. his dick shoved up your sweet, little warm and wet mouth, sparkling eyes tearing up from the sheer size, looking up at him. his dick between your plush thighs, pushing him up to his high. his dick being tightly held between your long, slender fingers, the pad of your index rubbing ever so slightly against his tip, already dripping with arousal.

he springs out his dick from his sweatpants, ever so desperate to rid himself of those thoughts of you. he holds it in his grip, large hands grabbing on for dear life as he imagines his hand as yours, rubbing his length up and down, coating it with the pre-cum dripping out already from the sheer thought of you. with every rub, pleasure flows through his veins, and all he could think about was how much he wanted more. more of this feeling. more thoughts of you.

perspiration peppers his honey-like skin as he continues to try and rub out his climax, thinking of you in so many different positions. his breathing grows heavy as he grips tighter, chewing on his plump, bottom lip. he could feel everything. the softness of his palm on his dripping, wet dick, running through the veins on it, and his dick throbbing from the sensations of his hand.

fuck.

he throws his head back, silky hair sticking to his forehead as he furrows his brows, eyes lidded and heavy as he could only focus on his climax. he lets out a small whimper, trying to cum before his arms give out. his breathing gets heavier as he pants, truly trying his hardest to cum his thoughts of you out, long fingers holding on to his dick as he applies more and more pressure on it.

suddenly a knock on the door breaks his focus. he turns his head, siren eyes widening in shock as you come into his room, the same excited smile that he was thinking about greeting him, holding up a plastic bag of his favourite meal, eyes looking briefly at your phone as you talk to him.

“hi! sorry i didn’t let you know i was coming. i bought your favourite-“

as your eyes travel upwards to look at hyunjin, your grin drops as you noticed what you’ve walked into. “oh my god! i’m so sorry!” you exclaimed, immediately slamming the bedroom door shut.

“wait, wait, wait!” you hear him say behind the door, his voice muffled. “..would you mind helping me out?”

—————————

your arm wraps tightly around hyunjin’s torso as your other hand goes to wrap the slender, elegant fingers around his throbbing dick, rubbing ever so gently against it, not wanting to hurt him.

“faster..” he breathes out softly to you, voice literally begging for more. “.. faster, please…” he furrows his brows.

you bury your face into the crook of his neck, placing down a playful bite on his shoulder, which he tenses up slightly to. you smile lightly at his discovery, and continue to place down bite after bite, littering his neck and shoulders. every time you place a little pressure, the more his cock hardens under your touch.

he cocks his hips up, desperate for more friction with your soft fingers. you follow his request, picking up your pace quickly along his dick. he throws his head back on your shoulder, his fucked-out eyes staring right at you, basically pleading for more of everything. faster. harder.

being the good girlfriend you are, you comply, pressing down on his cock. he lets out a loud, pornographic whine as his thrusts his hips upwards, his cock splattering out thick, white spurts of his cum on his stomach. his arms give out and he leans when weight on you, the feeling of your warmth and the shirt he bought you as a gift sticking on his sweaty back as he tries to regain his conscience, or any other thought other than turning you around and fucking you stupid.

“are you okay?” you ask out, concerned as you watch his fucked-out face trying to slow his breathes, his chest rising and falling. “..yeah, i’m alright.” he mumbles.

he turns over and pushes you down with slight force onto the bed below, both buff arms pining you against the sheets as he looks down at you, smirking.

“thanks for your help, my love. i guess i should return the favour?” he asks.

[estapa-edwards]

"Team Sweetheart" and "Physical Therapist" are so gorgeous I've reread them both like 10 times! They leave me so full of butterflies I am positively buzzing! May I please make a request with Jack and a girl who has no knowledge/familiarity with hockey, or any sports for that matter? Maybe just them introducing eachother to their interests/worlds as their relationship develops and it's just nice to be with someone a bit removed from what Jack's life is centered around. Idk if that makes sense please ignore this if you don't like it.

CONNECTION - J . HUGHES

paring: Jack Hughes x reader

word count: 2k

requested? yes

warnings: use of y/n.

*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·..·:*¨¨*

Jack Hughes walked into the quiet café, eager for a break from the relentless pace of his hockey-centered life. The New Jersey Devils had been having a grueling season, and every moment off the ice felt like a precious escape. The café, tucked away in a corner of downtown Newark, had become his haven. Today, however, he was greeted by an unfamiliar face behind the counter.

“Hi, welcome to Brewed Awakening. What can I get you?” the girl asked with a warm smile. Her name tag read "Y/N."

Jack glanced at the menu, though he already knew what he wanted. “I’ll have a black coffee, please.”

Y/N nodded, her fingers flying over the buttons of the register. “Coming right up. Are you from around here?”

Jack hesitated. Despite his growing fame, he still enjoyed the anonymity of casual encounters. “Yeah, I live nearby. What about you?”

Y/N handed him his change and started preparing his coffee. “I just moved here for school. Trying to get the hang of the city and all.”

Jack smiled. “It’s a great place once you get to know it. What are you studying?”

“Art history. I know, it’s not exactly the most practical major, but it’s my passion,” she said with a slight laugh. “What about you? What do you do?”

Jack paused, unsure of how to respond. “I’m... in sports,” he said vaguely.

Y/N raised an eyebrow, intrigued by his hesitation. “Any particular sport?”

“Hockey,” he admitted. “I play for the New Jersey Devils.”

Her eyes widened slightly. “Oh, wow. I’m sorry, I don’t really follow sports. But that sounds impressive!”

Jack chuckled. “That’s okay. It’s actually kind of refreshing to meet someone who isn’t obsessed with hockey.”

Y/N handed him his coffee. “Well, I’m glad I could provide a break from the norm. Enjoy your coffee!”

As Jack took a seat by the window, he couldn’t help but feel a spark of curiosity about Y/N. She was different from anyone he had met in a long time. He found himself looking forward to his next visit to the café.

--- --- --- 

Over the next few weeks, Jack found himself returning to Brewed Awakening more often. Each time, he and Y/N would chat for a few minutes, their conversations growing more personal with each encounter. Jack learned that Y/N was passionate about art, spending her weekends exploring museums and galleries. She, in turn, learned about Jack’s rigorous training schedule and the pressures of professional sports.

One rainy afternoon, Jack entered the café, drenched from practice. Y/N greeted him with a sympathetic smile. “Rough day?”

“Just a long one,” he replied, shaking off his wet jacket. “Do you have a break coming up? I’d love to hear more about this art thing you’re always talking about.”

Y/N’s eyes lit up. “Actually, I do. Give me five minutes to finish up here.”

A few minutes later, Y/N joined Jack at his table, a steaming cup of tea in her hands. “So, where should I start?”

“Tell me about your favorite artist,” Jack suggested, genuinely curious.

Y/N’s face brightened. “That’s a tough one, but I’d have to say Vincent van Gogh. His work is so emotional and raw. There’s something incredibly moving about the way he saw the world.”

Jack listened intently as Y/N described van Gogh’s turbulent life and vibrant paintings. He found himself captivated by her passion and the way she brought the art to life with her words.

“You should come to the museum with me sometime,” Y/N said, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. “I think you’d really enjoy it.”

Jack smiled. “I’d like that. And maybe I can take you to a hockey game in return?”

Y/N laughed. “Deal. But you’ll have to explain everything to me. I know absolutely nothing about hockey.”

Jack chuckled. “I think I can manage that.”

--- --- --- 

Their first outing together was to the Newark Museum of Art. Jack was out of his element but excited to see the world through Y/N’s eyes. As they wandered through the galleries, Y/N explained the stories behind the paintings and sculptures, her voice filled with excitement and admiration.

“This is one of my favorites,” she said, stopping in front of a large, colorful painting. “It’s called ‘Starry Night Over the Rhône’ by van Gogh. Look at the way the stars and the reflections in the water create this almost dreamlike scene.”

Jack stared at the painting, trying to see it the way Y/N did. “It’s beautiful,” he said finally. “I can see why you like it so much.”

Y/N smiled. “I’m glad you think so. Art has always been a way for me to escape, to see the world differently.”

Jack nodded, understanding more than he expected. “Hockey is like that for me. When I’m on the ice, everything else fades away.”

A few days later, it was Y/N’s turn to step into Jack’s world. She had agreed to attend one of his games, despite her lack of knowledge about hockey. Jack had arranged for her to have a prime seat, and as she settled in, she couldn’t help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness.

The arena was buzzing with energy, fans cheering and waving signs. Y/N watched in awe as the players took to the ice, their speed and skill mesmerizing. She spotted Jack, his focus intense as he prepared for the game.

Throughout the match, Y/N found herself on the edge of her seat, cheering along with the crowd even though she didn’t fully understand the rules. She couldn’t help but feel a surge of pride every time Jack made a play, his talent and dedication evident in every move.

After the game, Jack met her outside the locker room, still in his gear and grinning from ear to ear. “So, what did you think?”

“It was amazing!” Y/N exclaimed. “I had no idea hockey could be so intense. You were incredible out there.”

Jack laughed, relieved that she had enjoyed herself. “I’m glad you liked it. Maybe we can make a fan out of you yet.”

Y/N smiled. “Maybe. But only if you keep coming to art galleries with me.”

“Deal,” Jack agreed, feeling a warmth spread through him. Despite their different worlds, he felt a connection with Y/N that he hadn’t felt with anyone else.

--- --- --- 

​​As the weeks turned into months, Jack and Y/N grew closer, finding comfort in their contrasting interests. They delighted in introducing each other to new experiences, each outing deepening their bond.

One sunny Saturday, Jack found himself at a local art supply store with Y/N. She was on a mission to find the perfect set of watercolors for a new project. Jack followed her through the aisles, amused by her enthusiasm.

"Do you paint?" Jack asked, curious.

"I dabble," Y/N replied with a grin. "Mostly for fun, though. It’s a great way to relax and let my mind wander."

Jack picked up a brush, twirling it between his fingers. "Maybe you could teach me sometime. I’ve never really done anything like this."

Y/N’s eyes lit up. "I’d love to! It’s really not about being perfect, just about expressing yourself."

A few days later, Y/N set up a makeshift studio in her apartment, covering the table with newspapers and setting out a variety of paints and brushes. Jack arrived, looking both excited and apprehensive.

"Ready to become the next Van Gogh?" Y/N teased, handing him a canvas.

Jack laughed. "I think that might be a stretch, but I’m ready to give it a shot."

As they painted side by side, Y/N offered gentle guidance, encouraging Jack to experiment with colors and shapes. Despite his initial uncertainty, Jack found himself enjoying the process. It was a welcome change from the structured, high-pressure world of hockey.

"You’re a natural," Y/N said, admiring Jack’s painting of a snowy landscape.

Jack shook his head with a chuckle. "I think you’re just being nice, but thanks. This is actually really fun."

Y/N smiled, pleased to see Jack so relaxed. "See? I knew you’d enjoy it."

Their relationship continued to flourish, each new experience bringing them closer together. Jack took Y/N to more games, patiently explaining the rules and strategies. Y/N, in turn, took Jack to more art exhibits and even a few art classes.

One evening, after a particularly thrilling game, Jack and Y/N found themselves at a quiet diner, sharing a plate of fries. Jack looked at Y/N, feeling a surge of gratitude.

"You know, I never thought I’d enjoy learning about art so much," Jack admitted. "But being with you has opened my eyes to so many new things."

Y/N reached across the table, squeezing his hand. "And I never thought I’d enjoy sports, but you’ve made it so much fun. It’s nice to have someone to share these experiences with."

Jack smiled, feeling a deep sense of contentment. Despite their different backgrounds, they had found a way to connect on a profound level. It was a rare and precious thing, and Jack knew he wanted to hold onto it.

--- --- ---

As their relationship grew stronger, Jack and Y/N began to face the challenges that came with their differing worlds. Jack’s demanding schedule often kept them apart, and Y/N’s art exhibitions sometimes took her to different cities.

One evening, after a particularly grueling week of practice and games, Jack called Y/N, his voice heavy with exhaustion. "I miss you," he admitted. "It feels like we haven’t seen each other in ages."

Y/N sighed, feeling the distance keenly. "I miss you too. It’s hard, but we’ll get through it. How about we plan something special for next weekend? Just us."

Jack’s spirits lifted at the thought. "That sounds perfect. Let’s go somewhere quiet, away from everything."

The following weekend, they escaped to a cabin in the woods, a peaceful retreat where they could unwind and reconnect. They spent their days hiking through the forest, cooking meals together, and sitting by the fire, talking about everything and nothing.

One evening, as they sat on the porch, watching the sunset, Jack took Y/N’s hand. "I’m really glad we’re doing this," he said softly. "It’s exactly what I needed."

Y/N rested her head on his shoulder. "Me too. It’s nice to just be us, without all the noise."

As they sat in comfortable silence, Jack realized how much Y/N meant to him. She had become his anchor, a source of joy and calm in his hectic life. He knew their relationship wasn’t always easy, but he was willing to face any challenge as long as they were together.

With the hockey season winding down, Jack finally had more time to spend with Y/N. They began to talk about their future, their conversations filled with excitement and hope.

One sunny afternoon, they found themselves at a local park, lying on a blanket and watching the clouds drift by. Jack turned to Y/N, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Have you ever thought about what comes next for us?" he asked.

Y/N smiled, her heart swelling with affection. "I think about it all the time. I want us to keep exploring new things together, to keep supporting each other’s passions."

Jack nodded, feeling a sense of certainty. "I want that too. And I want you to know that I’m here for you, no matter what. Your dreams are just as important as mine."

Y/N reached out, brushing a strand of hair from Jack’s face. "And I’m here for you, always. We’ll figure it out together."

As they lay there, hand in hand, Jack knew they were embarking on a new chapter of their lives. It wouldn’t always be easy, but with Y/N by his side, he felt ready for anything. They had built a strong foundation, one based on mutual respect and a genuine love for each other’s worlds. And as they looked towards the future, they knew that together, they could face whatever came their way.

[georgiapeach30513]

With Your Touch, Part 5

Summary: Some things just weren’t meant to be ignored.

Pairings: Lloyd Hansen X Reader

Rating: explicit

Warnings:  Language, voyeurism, masturbation (M&F), pillow grinding, The Verb, non con moment, implied fighting, tension, mentions of childhood trauma, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 5.4K

Previous

Series Masterlist

*dividers created by @firefly-graphics

You were getting to Lloyd. He should have noticed it sooner, but he was too worried about his daughter, and then it was you that was occupying his thoughts. The forbidden fruit. Lloyd loves the succulent taste of something he’s not supposed to have, therefore you became an obsession. An obsession that he began to care about. An obsession he desired more than anything.

You entwined your kind and damaged self into his very being, and he needs to keep you for himself. Protect you from the world that so desperately wants to destroy women like you. Women who have it all, and are still overlooked. You were even going right down the path that they all did. A prick of a boyfriend that you didn’t love, didn’t want, but you just made it work because he ticks off imaginary boxes.

You were too pure for the men in your world. They’d have you beaten into submission, and be their perfect little housewife, while you became a woman like your mother. Did whatever your husband said because he paid the bills. You would make exceptions to your happiness because he gave you a life of luxury. He could go off and spend all his time with whores and secretaries while you sat at home becoming bitter.

He hated The Verb with every part of him, your dad was just barely below The Verb. The only reason he tolerates your father now is because he’s the reason you were searching for the love of a man. And because of your mother you accept subpar men like The Verb, and make excuses of it being love. It wasn’t.

Love is the way you lift Lyla up in the air above your head, while she giggles down at you. Love is pulling her closer to your face so you can kiss all over her cheeks. Love is sitting on a blanket in the park with the stupid expensive pram so Lyla can get outside. Love is enjoying the time that you get to have with her. Love is the confusing feelings you feel for him.

Because no matter what you say, he sees the feelings you have for him. You even got off with his name on your lips, and it was beautiful. He wants to hear it again. Hear it whisper across his skin, while your walls both literally and figuratively crash down. Becoming so soft after you orgasm over his cock that you are pliant, and just need him to hold you. His obsession runs deep, but at least it is pure intentions.

“Was watching her through your phone not enough?” Ari asks, as he sits down on the bench beside his friend. He looks in Lloyd’s direction as you lay Lyla on the ground, praising her when she flips over and gets into a crawling position. “I didn’t take you as a sap.”

“Me neither,” Lloyd barely responds, but smiles right along with you. “Why are you here?”

“Why are you?” Ari looks more at his friend before he looks back at the two of you. “She’s a natural,” every time that he has seen you with Lyla you didn’t look like her au pair at all, you looked like her mother. Even now, she seems like your baby.

“Yeah, she’s raising her daughter the way she wanted to be raised,” Ari opens his mouth, but closes it immediately. His eyes drift around the park, trying to make sense of whatever is going through his partner's head. “I didn’t want this. Either of them. I was supposed to continue to slut around with whoever I wanted, and go to work. That was my life. So you tell me why either of them came into my life, and I’m not supposed to do anything about it?”

“You should know that life gives us curveballs, and we have to figure it out along the way. Like Lyla. You brought Roman’s daughter into your life. And now you’ve got another problem.”

“A fucking hair in my eyeball that is festering and is named after a damn verb. That boy,” Lloyd releases a growl low in the pit of his stomach as he thinks about the vile things that boy said to you. And that is just what he has heard. He’s sure that Chase has said messed up psycho babble to you, that you never asked for. The way he looked down at you, and was already putting you in your place makes him sick. “Fuck.”

“Is that what you’re wanting to do with your sweet little au pair? Fuck her?”

“Yes. Dream about it every night while I fuck my fist,” Ari rolls his eyes, pretending he didn’t hear any of that. Last thing he wanted to think about was Lloyd fucking someone’s daughter. “But it’s more than that.”

“You want her to take care of your daughter.”

“I want to protect them both. And I enjoy the moments that don’t have this intense sexual tension. I enjoy her. And what she wants, and I just get her,” he did. Chase doesn’t know what he has, but Lloyd does. You would see. “I’m tired of this conversation. They’re both mine. And I don’t share.”

“You’re talking about a woman that actually isn’t yours.”

“She will be, Ari. I can promise you that. Let’s go. I’ve gotta get home early,” he gives the two of you a final look. Wishing he could linger, and watch you all day. See how patient you are with Lyla even if she cries. See how you adored her so much you couldn’t stop kissing her, and smiling at her. He is tired of avoiding you. And he isn’t going to avoid you anymore. Sexual tension be damned.

“And you go in your seat,” Lyla pulls her feet up in a silent protest to not sit in her high chair. She’d been doing this all day. “You are so needy for attention today, but you need to sit in your chair,” furrowing her brows, she looks at you with her bottom lip puckered out. “No, don’t give me that face.”

Opening her mouth to babble incoherent words in a sassy tone. “Are you really going to sass me after I made dinner, and made you your special food,” she keeps her legs tightly pulled up, and you look at your plate and her plate both getting cold. Maybe you were giving in to her too much, but she is a baby.

“Okay, okay. You’ll just sit in my lap, and we’ll wait for daddy. Say dada,” she giggles, shaking her head no. Her chubby little fingers reach for something to gnaw on for a moment, and you sneak a bite of your own. “Your daddy is scared of me. Yes, he is.”

Since that night, Lloyd had avoided you. Claiming he was working late, but you knew better. He checked in less, too. Having cameras gave him the ability to not check in, you suppose. Before he didn’t care. He’d call or send a text, now he does nothing. You figured he just didn’t want to see your face. “I think things got too heavy with us. He’s a bit strong, you know. But he’s pretty cute,” you giggle, making sure to kiss her cheek again.

“He’s very cute. And he has these arms, and his legs, and his lips. I think I like his hands the most. They’re so thick — and soft,” you close your eyes a moment, drifting off into a fantasy of being draped over his legs. “But it’s a bit too complicated,” sighing because you know that you’re not going to go that route. It was too complicated already. It was best if the two of you just kept going the pace you were going.

“But you know you’re daddy’s cute.”

“I am?” Your smile fades as the very man you were talking about waltzes into the dining area with a cocky grin. Lyla’s legs kick around, and she makes the sweetest grabby hands towards him. “Can daddy make him a plate? He sure is hungry,” her giggles turn into shrill screams, and her legs and arm flail. “Lyla Bee! You quit that, girlie.”

“I’ll make you a plate, Lloyd. Here, take Lyla biddy boo Bee,” the sound of your silly voice to her as you walk to her daddy who is already sitting at the table makes her squeal laugh. Her eyes closing with how much she’s smiling, and when he pulls her from your arms, she buries into his warmth. “She’s been a bit needy for attention lately, but tell daddy, it’s okay, huh?”

Leaning over, you grin, rubbing your nose on her, but Lloyd is encapsulated by the scent of your hair. Rolling his eyes in the back of his head at how sweet and sinful this moment all is. It’s almost normal. Almost the family that neither of you had. “Now, you behave,” you whisper.

As you stand up straight, you catch Lloyd wafting your scent with his softly closed, and it makes you smile to yourself. “I’ll be back, sweetheart.”

“Okay,” he didn’t even realize what you had said. Him being silly with a crush makes you happy.

“I was talking to the baby,” you remind him. A brief moment flashes between the two of you, and you want to stay. Want to will his hand to reach out and grab your own. You see the flinches of his fingers like he wants to, and then you snap out of it. This shouldn’t happen. He is your employer and things will get difficult, and you didn’t want them to. Lyla needs you.

Going into the kitchen, you plate up his dinner while you think. What the fuck are you doing? This is getting too intense, but the feeling of being so close to both of them made you warm and tingly in a different way than being alone with him. Plus you had to deal with your asshole of a boyfriend.

You knew Chase was no good, but what other choice did you have? Even though you didn’t see him daily, being with him made you stay away from Lloyd, and just fantasize about him. How much damn porn have you watched about the babysitter and the dad. Fuck, how many dreams did you have of Lloyd telling you that you would take his cock.

Why did you have to make this difficult? Why could you just forget about Lloyd and his fucking arms? And the need to see what he looked like with no shirt on. You bet he sleeps in boxers. Maybe completely nude. Shaking your head you back into the dining area and freeze. Why is him being with his little tiny daughter hotter?

Holding up one of her hands he slowly counts each of her fingers, moving onto the next one until getting to ten. Lloyd then reaches for a foot, pulling the socks off and she screams in laughter, “Oh, honey, are your toes ticklish?”

“You should see her when you have to clean in between them.”

“I bet you kick and giggle the whole time, huh? Do you not want to sit in your chair?”

“No, her doesn’t,” picking up her spoon, you give her a little bite of her food. Making sure that you remain close enough for Lloyd to smell you again. You did smell nice today. “Her gets all stressed out when you mess with her toes, huh, sweet girl.”

The touch is so quick, but you feel his hand on your thigh. You don’t even react, but he flinches away the second his finger touches your leg. You wish he’d keep going higher. Higher. Higher. Until he breaches your drenched hole. That’s how he made you. Soaked.

“You didn’t work late today,” you note, walking back to your chair. You take another bite while you smile at him. “How is it going?”

His Adam’s apple bobs, swallowing nothing while he nods his head, “It’s fine. Perfect. You haven’t requested any days off?”

“There’s really nowhere for me to go. I’ll go eat at the bar, and you and Lyla can bond before bedtime,” sitting at dinner with him and Lyla seems a bit too familial, and it suffocates you. You like it too much, and you need to step away.

“No,” Lloyd answers firmly. This time his swallow was of food. “No, I think you need some company. You’re around a baby that can’t talk all day. Unless you’re needing to make a phone call of course,” he had read being a stay at home mom was difficult, and to always engage in conversation when you came home. That way she didn’t get overwhelmed and feel isolated.

“I don’t,” and you didn’t want to leave him anyways. You just felt he wanted you away for whatever reason. The two of you settle in a comforting silence. Like Lloyd needed time to ground himself after whatever he did at work today. That the conversation flowing between the two of you was just as much for him as you. He seems to be seeking something more comfortable and sweet.

Stolen glances happen throughout the meal, but you’ll blame it on wanting to watch him be sweet with his daughter. While that is a bonus, the reality is you just want to look at him. Trying to keep it PG and not envision him hovering over your body with sweat glistening around his hair. Smiling as you go into a beautiful state of euphoria, and he tells you that you have to give him just one more time as tears drift down your face.

Fuck. You’re as big of a mess as your panties, and all you want is to curl into him, and let him take you down from a high of the most beautiful highs. God, you want to feel his arms wrap around you so bad. Looks like another night with your toys.

You aren’t sure why, but there is definitely a shift in the air tonight between you and Lloyd. And you sure are a glutton for punishment as you walk down to his room, but you want to just talk. You and him. There is one hundred percent no ulterior motive as you take each calculated step down the hall in your kinda sexy sleeper set. Maybe your ass is hanging out of the booty shorts, but who cares.

Tiptoeing down to his room, you lift your hand to knock, and then you hear a sound that almost knocks you to your knees. Your name. But not just your name, panting. Deep breaths. He is talking to an imaginary version of yourself. Not just talking, he was fucking the imaginary you, and you are right here!

He’s a vocal lover, and it causes you to drip. Weak from the way he was imagining fucking you. You knew there was a shift, but you couldn’t fathom Lloyd whimpering your name. Not Dolly, but your name. You couldn’t have prepared yourself to hear his grunts, and his coaching you through orgasms. You want to really orgasm. You don’t want that fake you to have all the fun. You’re throbbing all over, and ready to just break down the door, and jump on his cock.

This isn’t fair! It’s cruel torture. You find yourself nearly humping the air, and ready to beg for Lloyd to fuck you like that. Why can’t you have him? Oh, that’s right, a dumbass boyfriend. Breakup. No. Breaking up entails too many temptations now that you have heard — you stop walking, listening so intently as he squeaks out your name.

“Oh fuuuuck,” he sounds delicious as he comes undone. You want him to come in you. No. On you. No. What did you want? Him. His dick. His baby. More of his babies. Fuck. You’re fucked. This was fucked up. You haven’t kissed him and you want his babies? This was only a weird kink because you see how he fathers, and your mind and your desire to have a family is altering your usual steady mind.

Now you need to angrily get off. Fuck him. If he wants to fuck an imaginary you, you’ll fuck an imaginary him. It is only fair. You stomp back to your room. Yanking off your stupid sleep set. You’re quaking. Slamming a pillow down on the bed, you straddle it. It isn’t your finest hour, but you grind over the satin. Tweaking your nipples, and imagine his hands on your hips, guiding you to go faster, and you do. You just need to get off. You don’t want sweet, you want angry.

Fucking the frustration and confusion right onto the pillow so hard you actually feel him. His hands coast down your sides, and tighten on your hips. His mouth caresses the sensitive column of your neck, giving it a tiny little nibble, “I knew you’d be frustrated. Show me how angry you are.”

With your chest heaving as you bare down harder. You want to make Lloyd proud at how good you can ride his dick. “There’s a good girl. Let it all out,” his hands come around you as he fondles your chest. God he feels good.

“Lloyd, I’m coming.”

“Lloyd?” The grip on your tits turn harsh, and you stop moving, looking over your shoulder. Fuck. “You want to tell me why my whore of a girlfriend is fucking the boss? I knew it, you goddamn slut. He’s just using you to fulfill the babysitter fantasy.”

“W-w-why are you in here?” You can’t think properly as Chase’s cold blue eyes stare into you with so much anger. Hatred. You’ve never seen him look at you like this, but you have felt his wrath. You grab onto his hands, trying to pry them off your chest with no luck.

“I was going to make sweet love to my girlfriend, and I saw you naked and fucking a damn pillow, and wanted to have fun. This whole fucking time you were pretending it was Lloyd?” You shake your head aggressively trying to push his hands off you. He is too loud. “You want something to fuck, I’ll give you something.”

“No, Chase, don’t. He’ll hear. Stop, please, don’t,” your voice whispers through your tears as he pushes you forward. All the way down until your face is squished up against the blanket. Running his fingers through your folds. “Chase, don’t he’ll kill you. Please, stop.”

“This is how wet you get? You’re a fucking slut for the boss, huh?” You feel his blunt head at your entrance, and you clench your eyes closed. You could scream, and Lloyd will hear you, but so could Lyla. Chase would surely be killed. Or you can just sit like this, and take it until he is finished.

“Now, be a slut for me. It’s all I ask,” you gulp as he pushes through your walls. Fist clinging to the bed. “There’s a good girl. Since you’re dreaming about him, call me daddy.”

“No,” sick fuck. You didn’t want him on you. You didn’t want him touching you. You didn’t want to give that name to him. You aren’t even sure how you feel about that naturally coming out with Lloyd.

“Go on, you slut, call me your daddy. Tell daddy to fuck you like the bad girl you are. Let me ruin this little cunt.”

“No!” You didn’t care. He just drives harder into you. “No! Get off!” You hate him. It’s over. You didn’t care what Lloyd did to him or his body. He is the asshole. “Stop!” You can’t even pretend that he’s Lloyd. It’s all wrong. So very wrong. Lloyd would be hard, but tender. Demanding, but giving. This is just wrong. Shutting down everything that is happening in the present. Get out of reality, and go into your fake world where everything is perfect. Don’t let Chase have this.

And then he’s all pulled out of you. “She said stop, you fucking piece of shit!” Your mind shifts into an altered state as you try to take yourself out of this situation. Memories of someone else in your house. Your mom, screaming. The sound of fists hitting bone, and the sickening sound of blood. Your dad, screaming to get back in your room.

So many memories of your dad you blacked out, and that’s where you wanted them. Buried deep in the depths of your brain, and to never be seen or thought of again. They are cruel men with a deadly job. They protect their own, but invite evil into their homes. Close your eyes, and pretend that nothing is happening. Because nothing is happening.

Sing so you can ignore whatever is happening behind you. Remember your day with Lyla and how pure it was. How she smiled up at you like you had hung the moon. Lyla couldn’t remember the neglect her mom issued her, and you would make sure she didn’t know what being without a mother’s love was like. Lyla is what keeps you sane while hell is trying to suck you back to reality.

“Hey, sweetheart. Shh,” he covers your back with a blanket, but you keep your eyes closed. “Can I carry you out of here?” You nod your head quickly, and feel his thick arms pick you up bridal style. Keeping your body close to his warmth as he carries you out of your room, and you finally open your eyes.

You see the marred knuckles clinging to your body, and deadpan, “You need to wash your hands.”

“I need to make sure you’re not hurt. Did he hurt you?” Even though he’s trying to be soft, you see the edge of darkness cover his eyes. You don’t know if he killed Chase or he was badly misshapen. You didn’t care. You couldn’t care anymore.

“No, he didn’t.”

“What happened?” There are two options here; lie through your teeth and tell him a bent story or tell him the absolute truth.

“He saw me, and I was…I was — and I said your name, while he was behind me, and I didn’t know. And then…then…th-th-then he wanted me to call him — to call him daddy,” you hiccup as he carries you into the living room, and sits you on the couch softly.

You sniffle, trying to calm your sobs as you look at his hands again. They are hideous. They’ll be badly bruised and swollen come tomorrow, “Your hands. Go wash them.”

“No.”

“I don’t…I don’t like the look of blood,” he gives you a nod, and stands up to wash his hands. He wears boxers in his sleep. You wish you were in a place you could enjoy the sight of him in just boxers, but you’re just numb. So numb that even Lloyd almost naked does nothing for you.

“Ari, I need a clean up, and a new apartment,” what an odd thing to say. “I don’t want it in this building at all. Don’t ask questions. This is immediate,” walking back into the living room, he stares at you. You’re in a state of shock, and your eyes are glassed over into nothing.

“Can I get you some clothes?” What? You look down your body, and pull your blanket tighter around you, then nod your head, and he’s gone again. It all went wrong because you wanted to hear the night life. How could you be so stupid to think you could just live your life carelessly, and Chase wasn’t going to ruin it.

Returning, Lloyd sits on the table in front of you, and starts to dress you. There’s nothing demanding or harsh about his movements. It’s caring. Loving. Nurturing. Instead of trying to black everything out, you watch him. You’re completely nude in front of him but he’s not fucking you with his eyes. He’s making sure you’re alright. Tenderly pulling over your top, and then sliding up some shorts on your legs.

“I’m sorry,” your voice is so meek, and you hate it.

“You have nothing to apologize for.”

“This isn’t your job.”

“The hell it isn’t. This isn’t your job. My job is to protect you, and I failed. How long had he been here?” You shrug, because you aren’t sure when the lines of your imagination and reality blurred. Didn’t know when Lloyd’s hands morphed into Chase’s. “I’m going to get us another apartment. You’re also going to have a security detail, and this isn’t for discussion.”

You just nod your head, not in the mood for arguing. You’re just cold. And then a cry. “Lyla,” you jump up without hesitation, practically sprinting to her room, and she sits up in the bed, crying and pouting for you. “Hey, baby. Did you miss me or do you need a diaper change? You’ve been sleeping through the night almost every night. C’mere.”

She isn’t wet, so you just hold her tight to your chest, and her cries start to soften. “You need someone to hold you, too, huh? Shh, I’m right here, baby,” you rock her in your arms, and turn to see Lloyd standing in the doorway.

He’s like a dream, nearly naked and shadowed in her doorway. It hurts to look at him sometimes. Always being something you shouldn’t desire. “She just wanted to be held.”

“You said, too,” he’s being odd this evening. You don’t understand what he means until he walks right up to you, lifting you up again. Carrying you and Lyla over to her rocker, he sits down, wrapping his arms around you tighter. “If you want to be held just ask.”

“Okay,” he holds you like you’ve never been held before. How can something feel so secure and soft at the same time? He is adding just the right amount of pressure on your body, and you start to relax in his arms, and Lyla is right with you. Yawning so big as her eyes get heavier. “Am I stupid?”

“No.”

“Do you know what I was doing when he came into my room?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“I was — you know on a pillow, and I said your name, and it pissed him off,” you don’t have to see Lloyd’s face to know he’s smiling. Of course he would smile when it came to you ultimately choosing Lloyd over Chase, “I heard you tonight,” he hums, but still doesn’t say anything. “In your fantasy how was I positioned?”

“On your back. Your legs wrapped tight against me, a pillow under your lower back to get this amazing angle, and you're pulling me so deep into your warmth, and I can’t get enough of watching you come over my cock,” it’s your turn to hum as you look down at the baby. She is so cozy, but asleep, and giving you nothing but her sweet face to distract you. This is far from an appropriate conversation with her present.

“How deep are you?”

Lloyd takes a deep breath. Kissing on top of your head, “Sweetheart, I’m so deep that you can fill me in your throat.”

“How do I know you’re not lying?” Silence falls over the room, and it becomes too apparent what is going on in your room. You heard Lloyd call someone, and they are doing what he asked, cleaning up whatever mess was made. You lift up off his shoulder, and stare at him. “How do I know you’re not lying?”

“I don’t think this is the right time now.”

“Are you scared?”

“I’m terrified,” you gulp, averting your eyes back down to the baby. How could a man like Lloyd be terrified? And why? “And she’s only part of the reason I’m scared.”

“So where do we go from here?”

“I said I didn’t think this is the right time for me to show you I’m not lying, considering the things that have transpired this evening. But whenever you’re ready for me to show you exactly how deep I can go inside your body, but also — inside your heart, I’ll only be a few doors away. But I don’t want to just fuck you like an animal. I want to hold you and…my daughter at night, just like this. You need to be held just as much as she does, so let me. But for tonight, instead of showing you just how right you would fit me inside you, let me tear down the walls you’ve built up, and show you there are good men out there. Men that stand on the things that they say. Let me just hold you, so you can finally relax for the first time in years because you don’t have to worry about that prick ever coming into your life and hurting you ever again.”

Your vision becomes blurry as tears fill your eyes, and you let them fall down your cheeks one by one. It’s freeing to know that Chase can’t ever try and pick apart your brain and memories that you have no desire to explore. Lloyd isn’t just taking your walls down, he’s obliterating them. You didn’t even realize the amount of walls you put up for your own self preservation. “I hate them.”

“Me, too. I hate anyone that has ever hurt you or made you feel you aren’t worth it. Because you are.”

“You don’t know me.”

”I know more about you than you could ever understand,” the cameras. All those times you felt like you were being watched. It all makes sense. “Yes, there’s some in your room. And yes, you knew and pointed yourself right at them.”

“Did not.”

“Want to see the footage?” You snort, shaking your head no. At least you didn’t have to end the night on something as severe as whatever Lloyd did to Chase. “Little minx. I’ve got videos, too. Yeah, I thought maybe it was a coincidence, until you flashed the camera and smiled. You’re smarter than people give you credit for.”

“I was just taking a guess,” Lloyd does not believe a word you say. “I did. It was just a guess. Why did you have cameras in my bedroom? Are they in my bathroom, too?”

“No, I don’t get off on that.”

“You just get off on me in my room?”

Lloyd rolls his eyes with a smile. Is that what you think this is? He’s trying to figure out how to say it without being too forward, and there isn’t another way, “Were you just in your room when you had your legs spread pointing to the camera, shoving your fingers in that tight little cunt, and whimpering my name? Were you just in your room when you’d prance out of the bathroom completely naked, and do a little shimmy right in the camera? Were you just in your room every time that you were fucking that pillow and saying Daddy fuck me harder.”

Oh my god. “Should I go on?”

“No! There is a baby in my arms.”

“Fine, admit you want me to fuck you, and you want to call me daddy,” you didn’t have to admit shit. You do like when his cocky little self comes out though. “Go on, say it.”

He wants you to say it? Then he’s getting the full on works, “I want you to fuck me so deep and hard, daddy. I want you to come in my pretty little pussy, and then I want you to fuck it deeper with your fingers,” Lloyd bites on his lip, and looks up at the ceiling. Good. He wants to try and torture you, he’s getting it right back. “But not tonight.”

“No, not tonight. You’ve been through enough,” you really have. And you just want to feel the warmth coming off his body. “I want you to pick out which room is Lyla’s in the new apartment. She…” it’s too soon. Lloyd can’t ask much more of you. You’re vulnerable at the moment, and he’s taken advantage enough, “She already looks at you like her mom,” fuck fuck fuck.

“Is it weird to say I look at her like mine, too?” He sighs, and shakes his head no. He hopes you really let this conversation sink in before you come crawling into his bed. Because he will fuck you, and he will only hold back if you ask him. If your body shows him, he’ll stop. He wants you more than anything he has ever wanted before and it terrifies him. Because now he has two things he’s willing to kill for, but worse, willing to die for.

Terrifying.

Next

Masterlist

Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @pono-pura-vida @peaches1958

@seitmai @smile1318 @andydrysdalerogers @cjand10 @midnightramyeoncravings

@kmc1989 @pandaxnienke @theinheriteddutchess @rainydayandmondays @buckybarnesisdaddy

@patzammit @xoxo-ls @rebeccapineapple @slutforchrisjamalevans @marvel-wifey-86

@jesevans @ughdontbeboring @infantasywonderland @vampy-doll @i-like-to-read-13

@missacidburn928 @charmed-asylum @superflannel @hisredheadedgoddess28 @lostinspace33

@abbyyourlocalmilf @saranghaey @rogersbarber

[caustinen]

cleagan regency au!! bucky is a social & wealthy bachelor who loves partying and has a bit of a reputation for flirting with the boundaries of appropriaty but he gets away with by being so charming and charismatic and kind and charitable. gale on the other hand was raised in a very strict family, struggling with money due to his father’s gambling issues, and he was taught a very traditional understanding of value of modesty and chastity, definitely no premarital relations of an improper kind whatsoever, the image of the family is precarious as it is.

the one time his friend alexander manages to drag him to a dance bucky is of course there and is immediately intrigued with the beautiful blonde in corner, wondering how he has never seen him before, and asks him for a dance. gale is aware of bucky’s reputation but despite his parent’s warning voice in his head the urge to accept the invitation is too great, and they end up dancing a couple of times through the night, and even when bucky is dancing with someone else gale can feel his eyes on him and the attention makes him feel tingly, something new stirring in him.

they meet at a couple of more dances (gale accepts alexander’s suggestions to go for them much more often lately for some reason) and bucky keeps wanting get to know him, asking about his likes and dislikes as they dance, what he wants to do in life, things no one has cared about in him before. over the last few weeks gale has finally started to realize the new sensation he feels when he thinks about bucky is desire, and it scares him (his upbringing really managed to internalize that fear of social exclusion if he was ”to whore himself out” (the religious side never really got to him the same way despite his mom trying to warn him about going to hell too)) but also excits him, so when bucky asks if he wants to see the garden outside of the ballroom he accepts despite knowing it’s absolutely unacceptable to go with him *gasps* unchaperoned.

they find themselves in a remote corner and gale can’t remember laughing as much during his whole life as he has in these few moments he’s shared with bucky. he feels comfortable and genuinly appreciated & wanted, and while his breath hitches when bucky places a careful hand on his hip and steps into his space, he lets him, places his own shaking hand on bucky’s arm for support. he’s so nervous he might pass out when bucky’s eyes drop to his lips but it isn’t until bucky actually kisses him when he truly freaks out. he pulls away and stutters ”i’m sorry” about 11 times in 10 seconds and then runs away, leaving behind a confused bucky and a worried alexander when he tells him he’s not feeling well. he goes home and lies in his sorrow of having messed everything up with the loveliest person he ever knew and probably his only chance at real love. bucky’s lips still tingle on his and no matter how wrong it might be, he’d desperately want to feel that sensation again.

the next morning there’s a knock on the door when the whole household is having breakfast and his parent’s are completely blown away by the wealthiest high gentleman of the county in their living room (they haven’t asked about the ball’s and gale hasn’t told them) and even more so when he asks to speak with their son. the house’s maid walks behind them to not leave them compromised when they walk away from the house, and once they reach a lakeside (gale’s safe place, not that john would know) the older starts apologizing helplessly, asks gale to not think of him as a playboy who abused his position the night before, and seeing him so worried about hurting him breaks gale’s walls and he tells him everything, how the kiss was not unwanted but how he can’t take risks for scandals when he’s living in his parents house and his only option for a future is a good marriage. to his absolute surprise john drops to one knee right then and there and asks for his hand, that he will do it the right way despite not believing in that himself he that means he can get a life with gale.

after gale enthusiastically agrees they walk back to the house hand in hand and john asks for his parents approval, start the slowest three weeks of gale’s life. it’s so unlike him to welcome such a sudden change like this but bucky is all he can think about, and despite visiting each other daily his desire keeps growing the more they get to know each other. they are always chaperoned until they are officially married, of course, but bucky finds ways to show his affections, hands constantly on gale’s shoulder or lower back or thigh under the table or cheeks in a brief moment in the carriage; gale is obsessed with kissing him, every stolen moment adding to his need to always have access to john’s perfect lips, and bucky delights in making him blush my teasing him about how much better it will be, sweetheart, once we’re married and he can do his husband duties properly.

the wedding night… gale has never been touched by anyone anywhere, barely by himself even, so it’s intense, and he gets so worked up by bucky undressing him and kissing him that it’s enough to throw him over the edge the first time. he has no idea what to do and it worries him because he knows bucky is experienced but his new husband is already obsessed with him, encouraging and patient and more than happy to help gale find all the pleasures in the world that he alone will get to give him.

[astroamorsworld]

Mars Return Chart

I feel like not a lot of people talk about Mars Return Charts on here and i think they’re pretty important tbh. Is it because they’re every 2 years or so? Idk. So, in this post i’m gonna break down what it means to have Mars in all 12 houses in your Mars return chart. Also I have a mini announcement to make at the end of this post so I hope you guys like it☺️

Mars in the 1st house: This Mars placement fuels your motivation and desire to take action. You'll likely feel a surge of energy to pursue your goals and make things happen. The 1st house is associated with your sense of self. Mars here can push you to explore who you are and what you want to achieve. It's a time for self-discovery and taking charge of your life. Mars' influence can make you more outspoken and confident. You might find yourself taking initiative and readily expressing your opinions. While assertiveness is positive, be mindful of an impulsive streak that can come with this placement. Channel your energy productively and avoid acting rashly. It's important to find a healthy balance for your energy. Engage in physical activities to channel your drive and avoid burnout. Meditation or mindfulness practices can also help you manage your assertiveness.

Mars in the 2nd house: Mars in the 2nd house fuels your desire to accumulate wealth and possessions. You might feel a strong urge to work hard and increase your material security. The 2nd house also ties to self-worth. This Mars return could prompt you to re-evaluate what gives your life meaning and how you measure your value. Are you driven by external validation or internal purpose? You might become more assertive about your financial worth. Negotiations, asking for raises, or pursuing new income streams could be on the horizon. Be mindful of impulsive spending habits that can come with Mars' influence. Channel your drive into wise investments or building a sustainable budget. This could be a time to re-evaluate your relationship with possessions. Are they tools that empower you or burdens that hold you back? Consider decluttering or investing in meaningful items. It's important to find a healthy balance between drive and responsible management. Acknowledge your desire for security without letting it consume you.

Mars in the 3rd house: Mars in the 3rd house fuels your desire to connect and express yourself. You might find yourself more talkative, engaged in debates, or actively seeking out new information. The 3rd house is associated with learning and short-distance travel. This Mars return could ignite your curiosity and make you eager to learn new things, take short trips, or explore new ways of communicating. Mars' energy can help you be more assertive and proactive in your relationships with siblings, neighbors, and classmates. It's a good time to strengthen existing bonds or forge new connections based on shared interests. Be mindful of the potential for arguments or disagreements due to Mars' assertive nature. Channel your energy into healthy debate and active listening to avoid unnecessary conflict. This placement can boost your productivity in areas related to the 3rd house. You might find yourself tackling projects, errands, and communication tasks with renewed vigor. The key is to find a healthy balance between assertiveness and diplomacy in your communication. Express yourself confidently but be mindful of others' perspectives.

Mars in the 4th house: Mars in the 4th house fuels your desire to create a secure and comfortable home environment. You might feel motivated to redecorate, renovate, or tackle home improvement projects. The 4th house is associated with family lineage and emotional roots. This Mars return could prompt you to explore your family history, address past issues, or strengthen connections with family members. You might become more assertive about your needs within the home environment. Are you getting the emotional support you deserve? Now's the time to communicate openly and establish healthy boundaries. Be mindful of the potential for arguments or tension within the family due to Mars' assertive nature. Channel your energy into productive conversations and focus on finding solutions. This placement can lead to a surge of energy for activities related to the home. You might find yourself tackling domestic chores with renewed vigor or taking initiative on home improvement projects. The key is to find a healthy balance between taking action and respecting the needs of others in your home environment. Be assertive but prioritize open communication and collaboration.

Mars in the 5th house: Mars in the 5th house fuels your passion and desire for creative expression. You might feel a strong urge to engage in artistic pursuits, hobbies, or simply find new ways to express yourself. The 5th house is associated with pleasure, fun, and games. This Mars return could ignite your desire for entertainment, social interaction, and lighthearted activities. Mars' energy can make you more assertive and proactive in your romantic life. You might find yourself taking initiative, expressing your desires openly, or attracting passionate connections. Be mindful of the potential for competitiveness in your creative pursuits or romantic endeavors due to Mars' assertive nature. Channel your energy into healthy competition and focus on enjoying the process rather than just winning. This placement can boost your energy for activities related to the 5th house. You might find yourself tackling creative projects with renewed vigor, seeking out new hobbies, or planning fun outings with loved ones. The key is to find a healthy balance between assertiveness and collaboration in your creative pursuits and relationships. Express yourself confidently but be open to feedback and enjoy the experience of connecting with others.

Mars in the 6th house: Mars in the 6th house fuels your desire to optimize your daily routines and become more efficient. You might find yourself tackling chores with renewed vigor, streamlining your workday, or taking initiative to improve your work environment. The 6th house is associated with health and well-being. This Mars return could prompt you to prioritize healthy habits, exercise routines, or address any lingering health concerns. Mars' energy can make you more assertive and proactive in your professional life. You might find yourself taking on new challenges at work, advocating for yourself or your colleagues, or tackling problems head-on. Be mindful of the potential for conflict with colleagues or disagreements about work styles due to Mars' assertive nature. Channel your energy into productive solutions and focus on collaboration. This placement can lead to a surge of energy for work-related tasks and daily routines. You might find yourself tackling projects with renewed focus and completing tasks efficiently. The key is to find a healthy balance between taking action and taking care of yourself. Be assertive at work but prioritize a healthy work-life balance and avoid burnout.

Mars in the 7th house: Mars in the 7th house fuels your desire for dynamic and passionate partnerships. You might find yourself taking initiative in existing relationships or actively seeking out new connections that challenge and stimulate you. The 7th house is associated with partnerships, contracts, and negotiations. This Mars return could prompt you to focus on strengthening existing partnerships, working collaboratively towards shared goals, or negotiating better terms in your professional or personal collaborations. Mars' energy can make you more assertive and outspoken in your relationships. You might find yourself communicating your needs more openly or taking a more active role in decision-making. Be mindful of the potential for arguments or power struggles due to Mars' assertive nature. Channel your energy into healthy debate and compromise to avoid unnecessary conflict. This placement can lead to a surge of interest in connecting with others. You might find yourself putting yourself out there more, attending social events, or actively seeking out new collaborations. The key is to find a healthy balance between assertiveness and cooperation in your partnerships. Be confident in expressing your needs but prioritize open communication, empathy, and respect for your partner's perspective.

Mars in the 8th house: Mars in the 8th house fuels your desire for deep personal transformation. You might find yourself confronting your fears and vulnerabilities, exploring shadow aspects of yourself, or undergoing a period of significant emotional growth. The 8th house is associated with shared resources, intimacy, and death and rebirth. This Mars return could prompt you to address financial matters with partners, explore deeper levels of intimacy in your relationships, or confront issues of power and control within partnerships. Mars' energy can make you more assertive and passionate in intimate relationships. You might find yourself expressing your desires openly, confronting intimacy issues head-on, or taking the lead in exploring new forms of intimacy. Be mindful of the potential for arguments or power struggles due to Mars' assertive nature, especially regarding shared resources or intimacy. Channel your energy into productive conversations and focus on finding solutions that benefit all parties involved. This placement can ignite a desire to confront taboos or delve into hidden aspects of life and death. You might be drawn to explore psychology, delve into occult subjects, or research your family history. The key is to find a healthy balance between assertiveness and vulnerability during this transformative period. Embrace your courage to confront challenges but also allow yourself to be open and receptive to the process of change.

Mars in the 9th house: Mars in the 9th house fuels your desire for adventure, learning, and exploring new horizons. You might find yourself yearning to travel, pursue higher education, or delve deeper into philosophical or spiritual questions. The 9th house is associated with belief systems, philosophy, and long-distance travel. This Mars return could prompt you to re-evaluate your core values, challenge your existing beliefs, or embark on a journey (physical or intellectual) to broaden your perspective. Mars' energy can make you more assertive and proactive in your pursuit of knowledge. You might find yourself actively engaging in debates, taking initiative in discussions, or seeking out teachers and mentors who challenge your thinking. Be mindful of the potential for arguments or clashes due to Mars' assertive nature, especially regarding differing beliefs or philosophies. Channel your energy into healthy debate and respectful exchange of ideas. This placement can spark a curiosity about different cultures, religions, or ways of life. You might find yourself drawn to travel abroad, immerse yourself in new traditions, or connect with people from diverse backgrounds. The key is to find a healthy balance between assertiveness and open-mindedness during this period of exploration. Be confident in your beliefs but also be receptive to new perspectives and willing to learn from others.

Mars in the 10th house: Mars in the 10th house fuels your desire for accomplishment, recognition, and advancement in your career. You might find yourself taking initiative at work, pursuing leadership roles, or going the extra mile to achieve your professional goals. The 10th house is associated with reputation, public image, and authority figures. This Mars return could prompt you to refine your professional image, assert your expertise, or take on projects that enhance your standing in your field. Mars' energy can make you more assertive and proactive in your career pursuits. You might find yourself advocating for yourself or your ideas, negotiating for promotions, or taking the lead on challenging projects. Be mindful of the potential for arguments or power struggles with colleagues or superiors due to Mars' assertive nature. Channel your energy into productive competition, focus on collaboration, and navigate professional situations strategically. This placement can lead to a surge of energy and motivation for your career. You might find yourself tackling projects with renewed focus, exceeding expectations, and actively pursuing your ambitions. The key is to find a healthy balance between assertiveness and diplomacy in your career pursuits. Be confident in your abilities but prioritize teamwork, respect for authority, and building strong professional relationships.

Mars in the 11th house: Mars in the 11th house fuels your desire to connect with others on a deeper level and build strong friendships. You might find yourself taking initiative in group activities, advocating for causes you believe in, or actively seeking out like-minded people to connect with. The 11th house is associated with groups, communities, and hopes for the future. This Mars return could prompt you to get involved in social causes, collaborate with others towards shared goals, or work on projects that benefit the greater good. Mars' energy can make you more assertive and outspoken in group settings. You might find yourself taking initiative in group projects, advocating for your ideas, or inspiring others to take action on a cause you care about. Be mindful of the potential for arguments or clashes within groups due to Mars' assertive nature. Channel your energy into productive discussions, find common ground, and focus on achieving the best outcome for the group. This placement can spark a surge of enthusiasm and initiative within groups. You might find yourself taking charge of projects, motivating others, and working collaboratively to achieve your shared goals. The key is to find a healthy balance between assertiveness and collaboration within your social circles. Be confident in your ideas but prioritize open communication, respect for others' perspectives, and working towards a common vision.

Mars in the 12th house: Mars in the 12th house fuels your desire to delve deeper into your subconscious mind, explore hidden desires or fears, and confront any shadow aspects that might be holding you back. The 12th house is associated with intuition, dreams, and the unseen realms. This Mars return could prompt you to pay closer attention to your intuition, explore the meaning of your dreams, or delve into spiritual or meditative practices. Mars' assertive energy can manifest as an inner critic during this time. Be mindful of negative self-talk and challenge limiting beliefs that might be holding you back. Channel your Mars energy into healthy self-assertion and inner strength. The 12th house can also be associated with hidden enemies or past emotional wounds. Be mindful of resurfacing past conflicts or anxieties. Channel your Mars energy into facing these issues head-on and finding inner peace. This placement can bring a surge of energy for activities related to the 12th house. You might find yourself drawn to creative pursuits that tap into your subconscious, delve into research or healing practices, or dedicate time to introspection and self-reflection. The key is to find a healthy balance between introspection and taking action. Embrace the opportunity for self-exploration but don't get lost in negativity. Channel your Mars energy into positive self-improvement and use your newfound intuition to guide you forward.

I hope you guys enjoyed that post! So as I said at the start of the post, I wanted to announce that i’ll be doing big 3 and big 6 readings! So if you’d like one, DM me or fill out my google form here!

Check my pinned for more💖

[ybklix]

𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐝𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐧

★ lee minho part four

part one / part two / part three

✦summary: Minho gives you a place in an agency you've always dreamed of, which will boost your professional and artistic career, but he can't bear to be away from you when your schedule changes drastically, which drives him crazy as he sees you provoking him with your slightly obnoxious partner from your new internship, and your persistent best friend.

✭ content - tags - warnings: smut / fluff / established relationship / ceo lee know x fem reader / fingering / oral sex / creampie / choking

word count: 14.4k

a/n: idk why so many w.c. i’m sorry, i literally had a writer’s block lol and procrastinated all week

It was not part of your plans to have a boyfriend, or to fall in love, much less with a mature man in his thirties. Reality hit you when you were having a nice date night on the beach, when Minho had to leave for an important call. You looked around, you hadn't realized the drastic change in your life, when if just two weeks ago you were crying in your room full of shame for even considering asking your parents for money and… suddenly you had it all. You bit your lower lip and looked at Minho from a distance, age was the least important thing about him, he was wonderful, he gave you fantastic sex and spoiled you every five minutes; in the moments so quiet for both of you when he is on his phone he suddenly speaks and tells you he saw a very nice dress and bought it for you, just like that, he would blurt it out as something so normal and never failed to surprise you when a small gift from him to you, turns out to be something incredibly expensive.

You examined him, his broad back and the attractive way he was running his hand behind his head, you thought it was a serious call because of his tense position, still you kept thinking how cute he looked.

Minho came over and sat back down, whispering a small “I'm sorry.” You asked him if everything was okay to which he nodded with a tender little smile. After minutes he stopped eating and gave you a long look.

“You have to enjoy your last few days working with me, I'm going to miss you being around” he said, his comment puzzled you too much that he could read it on your face immediately to which he continued, “Because starting Monday you'll be training at that acting agency.”

You opened your eyes a little stupefied, Minho had told you that he would support you in your professional career and that he would do everything possible to see you succeed to which you silenced him by whispering a yes and kissing him slowly, since you had thanked him and started to say that it wasn't necessary to which he immediately interrupted you arguing that he would do it anyways, but he hadn't given you in detail his plan.

“What, you hadn't told me…?”

“Really?” he spoke in a high pitched tone paying it no mind as he looked at the food, “I thought I told you that night.”

You shook your head softly. The news shocked you, yet you relaxed your expression, remembering that in such a short time Minho had given you so much and yes… in a way your relationship was a sugar daddy dynamic, but he made it clear to you that you should never feel ashamed to receive money from him because his intentions were merely focused on you and things that were going to benefit you, he didn't expect to receive anything bigger in return than a simple thank you or a kiss every time he came with something new for you, but it's clear that… you love intimacy with him so much that thanking him in that way wasn't bad for both of you.

“It's at the agency of…” you spoke more animatedly, lost in his bright eyes unable to finish the sentence, but he nodded softly.

“You know it is, the best in the country where all those successful and talented actors come out of nowhere” he replied.

You denied gently not being able to understand him, “But it's very hard to get in and…” you wanted to keep talking, but you realized that arguing wouldn't do any good, it was already done for Minho, “Thank you” you told him with a tender smile, he saw you the same way.

“It's nothing” he added proudly.

“Now I feel bad because I didn't know what to get you so I just brought you a cake” you said softly as you waved your hand animatedly towards the waitress who was sitting retired from you in case you were offered something else, you gestured to her indicating to bring the cake and candles for Minho.

He laughed softly and his eyes lit up as he saw the cake in front of him.

“You shouldn't have…”

“It's not a birthday without cake and candles,” you interrupted him.

His smile widened and he leaned in a little to tell you, “Come here, I want you to blow out the candles with me” you saw him pat his thigh.

You blushed a little and agreed to sit on his lap, turning your back to him, you were both on the terrace of his beach house, with a view of the sea so the wind moved your hair slightly, causing Minho to gently push it aside so as not to obstruct his view.

“I'll stay here but you have to be the one to blow out the candles” you added, as you lit the candles, hoping the wind wouldn't blow them out.

Minho gently caressed your back uncovered by your blouse and then let his hands fall on your bare thighs, thinking that he needed no other wish but to be with you, somewhat corny for him, but he couldn't ask for anything better than to hold you in his arms and kiss your lips… he thought humorously that maybe deep down, he wished he was less jealous when it comes to you, his hairs bristling and his blood feeling heavy every time he thought of you and the idea of another man around. Minho was engrossed in how tender you looked with your eyes shining at the sight of the cake and keeping the unquenched candles intact, which he awkwardly let out a light puff blowing them out and not taking his eyes off you. You felt his triggered gaze on you and found him with a relaxed and tender expression, it was hard for you to accept that a few weeks ago you were a stranger and he looked at you in a particular way with contempt and now it was the opposite, when you were not lost in desire and lust, he looked at you so softly and delicately.

You averted your gaze nervously and turned your body again, for a second, terrified of liking him more if that was even possible.

“Mmm, I also brought you something else, it's very small it's just that I seriously didn't know what to give you” you commented to him in a sharp tone.

And it wasn't a lie, you had no idea what to give to a man who had everything materially speaking and if he didn't have it he could buy it for him without a problem… besides you weren't the type of girl to write a letter and to say cheesy things to his face when you had no idea what to buy him… besides you tried to be realistic, the man was turning thirty, not eighteen.

“I told you it was okay by me this way without giving me something…”

You ignored Minho's words, leaning into your bag abruptly, brushing a little against his still-quiet bulge, still making him moan softly. And you took from there a small, elongated box, biting your lip unsure that it was such an insignificant object and didn't compare to the millions of won he spent daily on you with clothes or something else expensive. You settled your body on his lap, laying it sideways in front of him, your back now turned to the beautiful beach scenery. You handed it with uncertainty to Minho, who took it with joy, not caring what it was about, it was a small detail coming from you and that was enough for him, since Minho recognized that he was totally the provider of the relationship and he could not agree more with that; it was enough for him to see you happy, without worries, arranged for him wearing diamonds and luxurious clothes, raising glances and sighs from other rich women of his social circle who did not know of your existence.

Minho wrapped his arms around your body and opened it in front of you and, before he could even analyze what was inside, you hurried to say:

“It's small and silly I know, but you can use it… when you're in important meetings, plus it has your initials on it, it's totally yours.”

Minho let out a small chuckle at your reaction and was quick to see that it was a sleek black and gold pen with his initials LMH engraved small on the top of the object. Minho smiled broadly.

“This is what I'll sign our wedding papers with?” he commented amused looking at you.

You blinked in confusion at his sudden comment, “What?” you said.

Minho let out a small laugh again now slightly nervous and averted his gaze to the small gift, closing the box and leaving it on the table to place his hands on your thighs.

“Thank you” he murmured sweetly, moving closer to your lips to trap them in a tender kiss that made your ears burn.

“I should have given you something else…” you stammered disappointedly pouting slightly.

“You can always give me something else…” he whispered slowly squeezing your thighs and bringing his right hand up to your panties.

He had been specific with you, not wearing anything under your skirt other than your underwear, he picked you out the cute outfit that matched his own, acting like a complete sweetheart. You pressed your lips together tightly feeling your body temperature rise knowing that Minho wanted to touch you.

“You haven't shown me how grateful you are to get into the agency, wasn't it your dream?” he spoke again seductively close to your ear.

You nodded and closed your legs a little in reflex as you felt his fingertips brush your folds and squeeze your clitoris, Minho's hand was lost between your legs, covering only a small part of it by your tiny skirt.

“Show me how grateful you are to me…”

Minho continued to tease you, touching you through the thin fabric of your underwear, this time making you moan as your pussy was beginning to throb and grow wet at his fine touch.

“Minho, no please… she’s watching us” you tried to say as calmly as possible, a little scared as you realized you had the waitress in front of you a few meters away.

Minho let out a haughty laugh and looked vaguely in the direction of his employee.

“I don't think she's watching us.”

“Yes, Minho, s-stop” you spoke haltingly as you felt his delicious circular motions on your sensitive spot.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me to stop and I'll stop” he demanded authoritatively.

But you couldn't do that, his gentle rubbing became a little rougher moving and stimulating your labia as you felt his huge erection grow and touch your ass.

“Well to me you seem to be enjoying it” he said again even more smugly, “Then turn around princess, so you can turn your back on her if you care so much” he whispered.

You did it instantly, you were so excited and embarrassed that you couldn't see the poor waitress, so you just decided to fall into Minho's lap turning your back to the girl, looking out to sea. Now your concern would be anyone who decided to walk on the beach at night, but it was almost impossible, the nights were somewhat cold and strangely the place was perfectly empty. Minho was surprised by your sudden movement, pulling his hands away in confusion and let out a slight moan as he felt you sit on his erect cock drowning in his pants, instantly heeding him so he could continue playing with your pussy.

“Look at you, paying attention to me so I can touch your needy pussy” he growled haughtily.

You were so turned on by his touch and cocky tone, you couldn't even respond to him, other than just rolling your eyes annoyed that he was right and that you needed him now. You spread your legs a little wider giving him better access to your wet entrance to which Minho bit his lip, and stimulated your center through the fabric of your panties, Minho's breathing became ragged, he was becoming insane from not having your pussy in his mouth, he touched every inch of your folds, stretching your panties to feel the pressure on your wet pussy, making you moan, he enjoyed every moment of his fingers sliding on your labia and your sobs full of pleasure, finally he stuck two of his fingers smoothly into your tight hole making you whimper. Fuck, you needed him so badly, you were so aroused that staying still on his lap was not enough, you would want to take his fingers yourself, as you sensed the slow play in which Minho was touching you. Minho couldn't stand the thought of his cock suffocating in his pants but it made him hornier to watch your body squirm trying to regain your posture, he continued to finger you, paying attention to your clitoris with his thumb, completely prioritizing your pleasure as he energetically watched with his eyebrows slightly raised every little contraction stimulating his cock.

“Kiss me” he requested needily as he saw your parted lips emitting sounds of pleasure.

You joined your lips, in a dirty kiss feeling the inside of each other's mouths, making you more aroused, Minho licked your lips as he parted from you and looked at you completely blinded in lust, finally intensifying his skillful movements with his hand, making you startle and whimper more, fucking you deeply with his fingers so well that you ended up cumming in them. Minho grinned mischievously and abruptly pulled his digits out of you, taking them into your mouth covered in your fluid.

“Sweet cake frosting” he whispered, making you laugh as you took his hand with both of yours and sucked his fingers hard erotically looking into his eyes, making his cock throb harder as his imagination flew.

“Fuck, princess, let's go inside now” he gasped.

[...]

You skipped that day of school, however upon returning to the city your head could only think of your best friend that you hadn't had genuine contact with in long days, you were a bit sad that you decided you needed advice from another friend who may have gone through the same thing, falling in love with a rich older man after a chance encounter.

That day you returned to the city during the morning and Minho went straight to his office to work, barely paying attention to you; everyone at work speculated that you had something going on with Minho, you being always the last one to leave —since you waited for Minho and uselessly hoped no one would see you enter his office so often— and you always coincidentally came in together, but you didn't care, you were going to stop coming in on Monday and you had concluded your work by seeing Minho's work schedule and confirming that he was very busy… so you were bored in your chair, your very senior colleagues clearly judged you and did not approach to talk to you so much, so, not knowing what to do, you decided to try to talk to Felix in order to rescue your friendship a little bit; at the same time you texted Hari so you could see each other to talk as soon as possible.

Felix didn't respond to you all day, hurting you a bit as it was obvious he was ignoring you since he kept updating his social media. And Hari seemed to like talking on the phone today, to which you told her you wanted to see her in person so she agreed to do so the next day.

That afternoon when everyone left, you headed to Minho's office, ready to go in, but you stopped your hand on the doorknob when you heard him yelling in what you assumed was a phone call, you didn't want to interrupt and stood unsure at the door whether to go in or not…. to which you were determined to do so once you stopped hearing his voice indicating that he had hung up the call, but Minho stepped forward opening the door with force and coming out of his office with his suit jacket in his hand and advanced quickly in search of you, to which you hurried to follow him, catching his attention by the noise of your heels, smiling and relaxing his countenance at the mere sight of you.

“There you are” he said happily.

You took his hands and noticed his tired and tense face even though he was smiling.

“Shall we go?” you whispered to him tilting your head to which he nodded.

Once inside the car in the back of it, Minho squeezed your hand and turned to look at you to say as he let out a sigh, “Don't you want to stay at my place?”

“Only because you look tired and stressed, you need to rest” you replied raising the corners of your lips in a small smile.

“If you'll stay because I'm tired, then I'm tired every day, will you come take care of me?”

Your smile got bigger and you moved closer to him to caress his chest, his cute big round eyes suddenly looked droopy so you couldn't stand to see him like that.

“You really look stressed” you reiterated now worried.

“Yeah, I'm sorry it's just…” he grimaced, “it's the last few months and I'm working hard to close the year well with the company and start a new one…” you nodded listening to him carefully and thinking he had nothing to apologize for, “But luckily I have the best stress remover…” he murmured tilting his head and giving you kisses on your neck while his free hand pressed your thigh, “Do you want to fuck tonight?” he asked now in a low voice close to your ear, bristling your skin.

His voice and touch made you weak in seconds but… you thought it would be a very good way to help your boyfriend, but there were little things like that you had thought about all night and… you also wanted a quiet and sweet relationship where it's not necessary to fuck every day, even though you would do it with Minho every day at any time if you wanted to, still, you didn't want to look like or become addicted.

You shook your head softly.

“Let's go get you to sleep” you added firmly, looking him in the eyes and holding back all your dirty thoughts and the huge desire you will always have for Minho.

“Okay” he sighed slightly exasperated, “But let's go to dinner first, are you hungry?” he mentioned in a more relaxed and sharp tone, giving you a quick kiss on the lips.

Minho didn't wait for your answer and let the driver know the change of direction for both of you to go to dinner. You finally had dinner, walked around a bit and arrived at Minho's house, who upon stepping into his foyer, threw his coat and removed his tie in despair, whimpering exhausted and also threw the fabric of it away. You watched the scene, finding it incredibly attractive and were surprised by his grip on your waist.

“You want to shower in the master bathroom and I'll do it in the other one?” Minho spoke.

He had understood perfectly that you didn't want to have sex so he saved himself from seducing you and offering to take a shower together, besides he did feel tired, in any case that you change your mind, for him it would be wonderful if you took control this time and you were the one who fuck him, jumping on his cock.

But you thought for a few seconds, admiring the closeness of his face to yours, you hadn't kissed properly since the morning before you got out of the car and pretended to get to work first, you and then him, at different times. And you spent a while ago having dinner and talking all the time, without him even taking the time to get dangerously and romantically close to your face, Minho wanted to know absolutely everything about his girlfriend, so he had fun asking question after question until he sweetly knew the silliest detail, as was the age when you taught yourself to ride a bike, or more important things, like your career choice, your parents's opinion, your story and more deep conversation.

“Mmm, it's not okay for me, I can use the other bathroom” you replied.

“No, no” he regretted, “Do it in the main one in my room, don't worry, there's everything for you in my closet” he sentenced, giving you a little kiss on your forehead, he pulled away and hurried to shed his clothes in search of a quick relief.

You swayed on your own place, feeling a little strange to see his silhouette disappearing far away to another room you didn't know at all, so far you knew his house very well but you were still missing certain little places. You hurried to take a bath, totally unconcerned that Minho would see you in your pajamas and without makeup, in such a short time you had already built that trust, it was inevitable, you were spending more and more time together but, sadly everything was going to change in a few days since Minho gave you details that it would be after your university schedule and you recognized that there was no specific departure time because sometimes it was normal to stay late to practice…. still as you were new, the best case scenario is that your schedule would end at the same time Minho was supposed to leave his office…. but, on busy days like these for Minho, you could at least see him while you were being driven to the company, while he was walking outside his office or when you had to compulsorily accompany him to his meetings, but for now no more Minho which frustrated you, you just started to be his girlfriend and your time was starting to be delimited, you couldn't help it, you wanted to be cloying and be with him all the time, it felt so good to be by his side.

It made you tender to realize that Minho had taken it very seriously to make you feel at home, he had clothes for you, space in his big closet exclusively for you and little things like shampoo, lotion, brush for your hair, dryer, you couldn't process at what point it occurred to him to compulsively buy everything, just from one day to the next everything was there, like your sudden feelings for each other. You stood watching the outside through his incredibly long bedroom window, giving you the view of the large yard and area surrounded by tall trees, you sighed at the thought that your boyfriend was very different from you but still you were both in that sweet initiation stage where everything seems optimistic.

You felt the sound of the door and turned around the second, finding Minho in his comfy cotton pajamas wearing only his pants, his chest and abdomen bare as he shook his hair with one hand.

“I can finally go to bed” he sighed as he looked at you.

You honestly weren't sleepy yet, but there was nothing better than trying to fall asleep cuddled up to him. You approached Minho, who sat on his bed ready to lay down, but didn't do so until you sat the bed as well, he pulled the big sheets aside to cover himself and you, who happily looked for a place close to his body where you would feel comfortable once you lay down. Minho loudly indicated to turn off the lights to his speaker, surprising you a bit since on tired days when you don't want to get up to turn off the light, something like that was a great help and, as if he had read your mind he said to you:

"Do you feel good in your apartment? Don't you want to move?"

The question caught you by surprise, wishing you could look him straight in the eyes but you were so comfortable curled up on his bare chest feeling his soft breathing and your skin touching with your cheek.

“I'm fine, it's a place I know too well to move” you replied.

Minho started playing with your hair, stroking it.

“Well at least let me do something for you… how about tomorrow we go shopping so you have new clothes to wear to the agency?”

“I'm good” you smiled at him.

You didn't know if truly a way for him to show affection was the gifts or if he just gave them to you because of the way he met you and directly related your relationship based on that. You were still very grateful, but sometimes you felt so guilty even though Minho was absurdly rich, he ran a snack company all over the country and 10 other countries.

"I want you to look radiant and... I hear myself that the other young people there are a bit… you know” you heard him say.

You knew exactly what he meant, they were a bunch of spoiled rich adults who were taught a little discipline going in there, all you knew was that they were sorted by age and being a major company opened up so many casting opportunities for you. You were so nervous that you could only agree with Minho.

"Okay… but you're really busy on Thursday, I think Friday you're more available."

“Now you know my whole schedule?” he added in a sharp, mocking tone.

“Sure I do, I plan it” you replied, letting your hand rest on his chest.

He laughed lightly, letting his body relax completely and closing his eyes slowly, he was so calm with you that, before he fell into a deep sleep quickly, Minho whispered:

“Good night, y/n.”

[…]

The next morning was not the same, you missed a little bit your old routine of arriving with Felix, going to breakfast together and talking about anything around. You felt like you gained something but at the same time you lost something important, you finally felt loved romantically and you could give that love to him too… but you felt it wasn't fair to lose the affection Felix had for you. You knew you made a mistake by telling him you liked him too, you were so frustrated that you thought that's exactly why you never liked getting too involved.

Felix answered your message late, you didn't want to insist anymore so you looked for him where you knew exactly where his class was, an act he would do, go find you. There were still a few minutes to go and there was still no one inside so you waited nervously at the entrance outside the auditorium until you saw his long blond hair pass through the hallway, he saw you and his countenance became more serious, you smiled at him, happy to see him while waving your hand, but your smile faded when you saw his expression. And he walked up to you, looking as handsome and smelling as good as ever.

“Hi” you said shyly trying to catch his eye.

Felix was looking down at the floor and seemed a bit annoyed.

“Hi” he replied curtly.

He finally looked into your eyes, you felt a relief to see them. You hadn't seen his big eyes in days, a new record for you guys, because even when he went on vacation, you did video calls all the time. That's when you realized that… maybe you had screwed up too much, you should never have treated him like a boyfriend, now the poor guy was paying the consequences. It was always all about him and suddenly he felt displaced. After you always told him you weren't ready for a relationship, suddenly you had one with a rich older man, which was hard for him to believe. Felix was really questioning… could a relationship work between a twenty-one year old, still a student, and a man whose life is planned out… he wanted to think that maybe things wouldn't work out so well, and he hated himself to think that he knew he would be there for you anyway if that doesn't manage to work out and disappoints you, he would just be there.

“How are you?” you spoke again not knowing what to say properly.

“Fine” he said again curtly.

You couldn't hold it in any longer and in a short sigh blurted out, “Felix, can we talk?”

Now you would be the one to talk, or something like that.

“I have a class.”

“Can we do it later?” you asked him almost pleadingly.

He watched you for a few long seconds, admiring every part of you that he might never be able to touch again; he nodded.

Then you walked to the other side of the campus to take your class, but you were so distracted, when you finished, you almost ran once more across to the other end to see Felix, but the place was completely empty, disappointing you, you were catching your breath and ready to leave, until you looked at him at the end of the hallway, with a smirk; he thought with satisfaction that the least you could do for him was to run to find him.

“Want some water?” he spoke more relaxed, back to being his usual Felix self.

You shook your head and quickly regained your posture.

“Where do you want to talk?” you asked him.

Minutes later, you both walked to a coffee shop, where once sitting across from each other you looked at him and realized you hadn't really planned what to say… you just wanted everything to be like before, not treating him like a boyfriend or kissing him, but you wanted to talk to him again about some terrible movies, go for lunch, have your movie nights… you felt like you were about to end a non-existent love relationship in a coffee shop. But what a cliché, you thought.

“Felix… just… I want you back.”

“You broke up with Minho?” replied Felix trying to hide his mild enthusiasm as he gazed nonchalantly into his coffee.

You knew coffee made Felix anxious; but you didn't suppress him this time like you always usually do. Felix thought this encounter was frantic enough, so adding it more with the feeling the coffee gave him, could make him immune, to a broken heart.

“No” you whispered.

Felix pursed his full lips in disappointment and continued to watch his hands intertwined in the hot cup.

“I want us to stay friends and” you rolled your eyes, just like Minho, you hated to apologize when you knew it was sincere and you had to admit your mistake, after all you were both born under the same zodiac sign, “sorry, really. I know I said something important to you when we were, you know, in a vulnerable moment."

Your gaze was submissive, begging for forgiveness. Felix smiled sideways in disbelief.

“Important to me? You mean it was nothing to you” he finely raised his gaze to you, seeing his dark eyes from a look of him you didn't know, such was hatred, “You know… you never answered my question, you just said crap like you couldn't leave him, like you were tied to him” he mumbled.

You frowned, stammering confused as to what he meant.

“That if you love him” Felix spoke again.

You took a sigh. That was the question he was referring to, and your answer was simple and honest, even if it hurt him to hear it.

“Yes.”

Felix pressed his lips together again and lowered his gaze again to his drink… he could hear and notice the sincerity with which you said it, that he had nothing more to say. It was silent for at least 2 long and tedious minutes, but you also didn't want to say anything and ruin it any more than it was. Felix pondered too much, he couldn't admit it and thought he could never do it, but he loved you the same way you loved Minho and you couldn't reciprocate to him, his mind was a continuous internal battle, still, he sighed, looked up and managed to say:

"Y/n… I need to think well, don't expect me to be well from one day to the next. But, I seriously don't want to be away from you."

You smiled gently at him and nodded, you were relieved that he looked a little calmer.

[…]

“You told him you loved Minho” Hari emphasized what you just told her, you nodded, “You broke the poor boy's heart.”

“Don't say that” you replied.

“And you do love him?” she spoke more seriously to which you looked her straight in the eyes and nodded again, “Wow, I didn't expect that from you between him and you.”

“That's why I'm here, isn't it the same for you with Chan?”

Hari was silent for a moment to which you panicked that you might have said something wrong.

“Chan and I… it's complicated, I guess I'm a realistic, do you really see me married to a man like Chan, or him to someone like me?”

You noticed the concern on your best friend's face. The afternoon had been busy for Minho just as you predicted and in the evening you told him you would be spending the night at your house as Hari was coming to visit, saying goodbye and kissing for the first time all day as he dropped you off at your house.

“Hari…” you cocked your head to the side and slid down on your couch to pull you closer.

“I'm afraid it's just… I don't know, it's really absurd, we were just supposed to be simple good fucks… but they involved feelings.”

Your heart stopped for a moment, she was starting to speak for both of you and for a second you woke up from your trance, maybe she was right. Still you spoke up.

“But, if Chan really loves you, you have nothing to worry about.”

She let out a sarcastic chuckle.

"Let's be honest, Chan at any time may decide to seek stability in a woman, something I will never be able to give him. In what world do you know the wealthy CEO stays with some random girl out of his league” she looked down ruefully, looking like she finally wanted to get it off her chest. “I'm afraid that being with him would be in vain because it would hurt so much to leave him.”

She was right, instead of helping you she was bringing you back to reality… you had to talk to Minho before you fell in love more, maybe leaving him wouldn't hurt so much. You loved Minho but you weren't sure if he loved you… and everything you had… it was because of him, making you feel bad.

“You have to clear that up with him, you have to know if things are serious so you don't hurt yourself” you told her, “Don't you feel he loves you?” you asked her, curious for an answer since you were completely unaware of being in love.

“He is… very good to me but…” she sighed and let herself fall back against the back of the couch, “maybe my fantasy will end soon and he will have to marry a wealthy and pretty woman with an important last name, his time is running out, his family is putting more and more pressure on him.”

“Oh, Hari, don't say that… what does he say?”

She let out a laugh again, now more animated.

“That we should move to Japan and forget about the people.”

[…]

Friday afternoon, you needed to de-stress, you hated being in love because it was just a constant worry all night and all day you were thinking Minho, Minho, Minho, and not in a sweet way, but in the ideology that your friend had, you were still not even sure if you wanted to marry him but, being with him would be a waste of time if things weren't serious. You were afraid that maybe it would last for years and suddenly… he would have to make his life, procreate a first born to inherit everything and that's when you leave his life after your years dedicated to him… or his years dedicated to you? because he gave you everything

You were so pensive that you didn't even enjoy his sweet lips when he picked you up from your house and greeted you.

Suddenly Minho's secretary brought you out of your thoughts by calling your name.

“Mr. Lee is waiting for you in his office.”

You blushed and nodded in sign of understanding, getting up from your chair and walking towards Minho's office, you could feel the heavy stares of your co-workers watching your every step, they weren't starting to like you at all and even less when their highly attractive boss was showing some extra interest in you.

You entered his office, finding Minho sitting in his elongated couch, relaxed with his legs ajar and the cell phone in his hand, once he saw you, he left the device on the table in front of him and smiled at you, indicating you to come closer with his fingers. You held back a smile, pressing your lips together once you were close to him; he took your hand and guided you to sit on his lap.

“Today is the last day you can be a bad girl and have office sex with your boss” he whispered naughtily in your ear, bristling your skin all over.

“Why did you have to tell your secretary to come see you?” you asked him, playing a little.

“Because I wanted everyone to know that I spoke only to you out of the blue to my office” he replied proudly, starting to kiss your neck with his tight grip on your waist.

“Come on princess, you have to give it your all on your last day, what will you do?”

You looked into his eyes… his gaze was a combination of sweetness and desire, his tender round but sharp eyes full of desire, then you looked at his lips, his perfect thin heart shaped lips… you hadn't had sex with Minho in days and suddenly you realized you desperately needed it.

“I'm going to ride your cock” you said excitedly between your teeth.

You kissed Minho, as you began to rub yourself over his growing bulge, making him moan in between the hot wet kisses you were giving him, Minho groping you, totally willing you to take control and jump on his cock over and over again. You quickly understood that this time he was letting you take control so you lowered your kisses to his neck, increasing his heart rate and making him so hard with your closeness. You unbuttoned his shirt, you were so wet and your pussy was throbbing hard, you wanted to feel his skin as you fucked him so you ran your hand delicately across his bare abdomen biting your lip, moving your hand down to his prominent erection in his pants, Minho moaned at your touch, completely yielding, you wanted to make him feel so good, so you kissed him again to turn on more on each other as you kept squeezing and rubbing his bulge and, once you had to separate to catch your breath, you got down on your knees between his legs, desperately unbuckling his belt and with a little of his help to lift his hips he pull down his pants, exposing his prominent penis sheltered in his underwear, your breath shortened, you were out of breath and your heart was beating twice as fast, Minho was watching you expectantly from above and you raised your gaze to make eye contact as you directed your lips to his erection, tracing soft kisses on it gently, making him gasp and stir in his own place, you continued to tease him, massaging his rigid cock through the fabric until you saw how little droplets of his precum pierced little through the fabric of his underwear, that's when you got rid of it, sighing at the sight of his swollen cock with its notorious veins and its tip so needy and red, you couldn't wait to play with your favorite toy, so with bated breath, you slid his smooth precum liquid all over his length until finally taking his whole cock and starting to play with it and your mouth.

You loved the dynamic of sucking your boyfriend's cock, feeling his entire length by your tongue, gently holding on to his balls, and starting to stimulate it all in your mouth, you sucked his tip hard, making Minho whimper and immediately held your hair so it didn't interrupt the process and he started to thrust you little by little, you were not mentally prepared for your boyfriend's big cock all the way down your throat, but you felt it slowly by Minho's light thrusts and his grunts, taking you to the limit and making you gag immediately. Minho smirked smugly at the scene of you being a complete excited mess, giving your best to please him, you kept enjoying his cock, at a delicious pace for Minho who kept panting mercilessly, not giving a shit that his office is not noise proof. You took your boyfriend's length a couple more times all the way down your throat, watering your eyes completely; but your mouth was exhausted and your muscles tense, to which Minho very thoughtfully, almost on the verge of his orgasm, moaned:

“Come here.”

You withdrew his cock from your mouth, so grotesquely that there was even a loud 'pop' sound as you did so. You sat on one of his thighs, licking your lips and trying to groom yourself.

“Show me how wet you are for me, are you princess?”

You nodded again with a mischievous grin, so glad he decided to touch you. You did your best to lift your tight skirt and spread your legs, Minho noticing your difficulty, he was decided to check for himself by caressing your pussy and squeezing a fingertip of his finger in your entrance, making your sensitive pussy cry more from your boyfriend's touch.

“Fuck, princess, take my cock, ride it now, take it all for me like a good girl, you deserve it” he gasped, almost tasting your soft insides embrace his choking cock.

Your legs trembled, you were at the peak of your sexual arousal and your boyfriend's sizzling voice encouraged you more. You removed your panties quickly to have your access only for him. And slowly you sat on his cock, letting out a cry as you felt your entrance stretch and try to fit the big intruder inside of it. You were halfway down his length and were already starting to whimper, still you continued, thrusting all the way in until you felt the pressure of his testicles in your pussy. You whimpered and held yourself around Minho’s neck and began to gently move in circles, feeling him on your belly.

“Move, baby, c'mon do it” he groaned.

You gasped in pain and pleasure and began to move up and down and back and forth, riding him animatedly, still in pain and pleasure. Minho in desperation and lust, unbuttoned your silk shirt, stripped it off your body and removed your bra as well, to leave your exposed body naked and licked your tits hotly and passionately, while the other hand massaged and squeezed your nipple if it was not being stimulated by his mouth. You gasped more, becoming aroused and feeling your liquid sliding down his member. You rested your hands on his thick strong thighs, urging you to jump, moving your hips feeling your boyfriend's masculinity throbbing in your loins, as he naughtily looked into your eyes with his big round brown eyes in such an innocent way while you two performed such a grotesque act, Minho licked your breasts delicately, gently biting your nipple, but stopped caressing you once you accelerated your movements, faster and deeper, you were about to cum on his hard cock, trembling you tried to lean on Minho's pecs and he in seconds took advantage to start penetrating you hard, lunging you to the fast movement of his hips, your ass pounding all way down to his balls, making your body jump while you started to whimper, you had given everything to fuck him subtly without his cock upsetting you, but suddenly there he was wildly fucking you, raising you to orgasm after a loud moan and spilling on him all your nice and shiny discharge of fluids. Minho continued to thrust you little by little, stirring his cock from deep inside you, still making you whimper for your sensitive insides, until he cum inside you, joining both cum.

Minho stopped moving and allowed you to catch your breath still sitting on his cock, but he, as he parted his body a little to witness the mess you both had made, he became hard inside of you again, you moaned as you felt it. Minho couldn't help himself, it felt so good to be in your tight pussy, the image of your delicate mons pubis with his cock buried in your tight hole and your labia sensitive and open at having him all the way inside.

“I'm going to fuck you now myself, kitten” purred Minho close to your lips.

You only saw him for a few seconds almost begging for mercy as Minho quickly pushed and carried your body gently and positioned you lying down on the couch, from which at least you had a cushion for support on your head. He still inside, lubricated by your each other's liquids, made you spread your tired legs, giving him the spectacular view of what was making him hard, his cock buried in your dilated orifice, and you, helpless and breathless surrendered to him with your eyes of desire, dilated pupils and swollen, glossy lips.

He held you by your waist with his left hand and with the fingers of his right hand began to caress your clitoris, from which your body shuddered and contracted a little. Minho started to move slowly while still giving attention to your sensitive spot with the gentle touch of his fingers, he was penetrating you deeply with constant and gentle movements for a long time, re-warming and preparing your walls and lubricating you more without noticing it.

Minho was 'gentle', as for you, he was fucking you deep making you lose your stability, until he pulled his body closer to you and gave you a dirty kiss, leaving you wanting more of tasting his lips and tongue in your mouth, but he pulled away from you a little still with his body on yours, watching you with a haughty smile knowing damn well what was to come, he withdrew his fingers from your clit and began to ram you at his own pace that made you whimper again, you felt the tip of his cock touch your cervix and his cock bulge in your belly.

“Fuck, kitten, you feel so fucking good taking my cock” Minho groaned.

Minho brought his forehead together with yours, gently brushing your noses as you felt his warm breath and kept ramming you hard, then he pulled his body away and held you by your waist, lifting a little off your hip, he pushed his full length back in, rubbing his cock hard and proud in you and kept pounding you, moving your torso like a ragdoll; you cried, you felt so full, your body writhing with pleasure at the feel of your boyfriend's cock in your core. And when you were so close and Minho felt your walls clench his cock, he gripped your neck tightly with his right hand, moderately choking you. Your gasps flooded the place, you stroked Minho's arm, his notorious veins bulging and without warning, you climaxed in your second orgasm, rolling your eyes and completely blurring your vision, this time making twice as much of a mess as the first time.

Minho bit his lip hard at the sight of your liquid slipping and falling little drops messing up the couch and let go of your neck.

“Fuck, it feels so good, I-I'm gonna cum too” he whimpered.

And he did. Releasing his thick white cum in a shot inside you once again, feeling the warmth of his semen in you.

He pulled out of you, feeling glorious at the scene of your sensitive pussy and your orifice expelling both liquids, Minho could continue fucking you, now in another position, just never get tired of you, but he saw you so tender, so exhausted and with your eyes watering that he decided to stop himself. He leaned over to you and gave you a sweet kiss on your forehead.

“That was wonderful, princess, you did great, let me clean you up. Do you need anything else? Water…? Another round…?” he said inches from your face.

After cleaning you up and helping you put on your clothes, when he was ready too, he sat you on his lap and held you like that for a while, feeling his breathing and relaxed while he answered important messages on his phone, at the same time caressing you tenderly. Later you came out of his office, totally disheveled, teary eyes, red cheeks, slightly disheveled hair and slightly messed up makeup, you wanted to go straight to the bathroom to touch up your makeup and go pee, but you had to go to your cubicle for your cosmetic bag so you still raised glances and superstitions in the air. It was undeniable what was going on in that office.

[…]

You had spent the sweetest weekend with Minho, that Saturday he planned to go camping with you, you had no idea, you thought it would be a small camping tent but Minho was more than prepared, he thought you looked cute wearing a plaid button down shirt of his that fit you big as you watched everything he did. You had an older brother so all these kinds of activities were done by your father with your brother, but it was nice to be with your boyfriend and with nature; and at night you were terrified to sleep there, but you had Minho next to you, sleeping huddled under the big tent. Sunday, you finally rejoined the city and you slept over at his house; having the sweetest sex, taking away the stress of having to socialize as you entered that new agency.

At least throughout the weekend Felix kept in touch with you via messages, of which Minho looked on with a raised eyebrow as you sometimes spent a considerate amount of time replying to him… but he had promised you and promised himself to be less jealous, so he let it go, after all, it was you he was with.

You told Felix in person the great news of your joining the company… which shocked him and made him quite happy… even though you always refused to let him give you that credit. Felix could not hide the fact that he was annoyed that you accepted everything from Minho and that you always made excuses for Felix. But that for you that had an impact in his personality, to accept something great from Felix was for you as if you were suddenly a gold digger and manipulative, that he was sensitive and delicate… while your concept of Minho was to be a serious and dominant man, and the one with a weak personality was you, however your perception of Minho is changing, you are getting to know his tender and sweet side.

And it was when the day approached, in the afternoon after the university, Minho sent for you his driver to drop you to the company; you entered with panic to which a woman escorted you to a room on high floors taking the elevator, the place was big and illuminated as nice as you always imagined.

You were welcomed once you entered the place, where there were 3 adults sitting at a table.

“You're already in, congratulations. We'd still like to have your acting practice video recorded, it's something we do” a woman sitting there told you to which you nodded.

“You can improvise with us this script and when you're ready let us know” the younger woman who led you in told you, handing you a script.

You sighed nervously and read it, studying it a bit, not wanting to keep them waiting to which you jumped in to say you were ready and, a short five minute scene, without much science or difficulty for you, certainly left them impressed.

Normally that was a kind of audition to get in, but Minho did everything he could to make sure you weren't rejected, yet the staff was so curious about you… whether you were going to make a girl they simply paid money to get you in… or whether you really had talent.

And, at last, you were taken to your first practice, where two young adults were already at the front presenting about a topic, you excused yourself as you entered and sat down without attracting attention… but it was inevitable, the girls ate you alive with their eyes as they saw you dressed from head to toe subtly and exclusively luxury designer brands, even your hair clip was from designer, making them whisper under their breath. Minho had chosen your outfit, which you accepted as you felt it was the least you could do as he fulfilled one of your dreams, and he dressed you, literally, putting on each of your garments, provocatively slipping on your panties while subtly touching you until he made you whimper and cum. A nice way to start your morning.

You caught the attention of a boy who was sitting next to you, without recognizing that he was in fact a celebrity; you were so nervous and focused on whatever the boy and the girl in front of you were saying. Twenty minutes of that course passed and you tried to keep up, you understood little, but you understood in a certain way; and in those 20 minutes that boy could not take his eyes off you, you felt it, but you thought you were going crazy to feel eyes on you when in fact it was not like that. To him you looked so familiar… your silhouette, your profile, he couldn't stop looking at you until he remembered and it was when the course ended, you stood up and he gently stepped forward so he could see your full face carefully, until he did, there you were in front of him, the pretty girl who was alone, wearing a white Versace dress and the one he liked her from a couple of weeks ago at an art event he attended. He couldn't believe it, he was stunned, he thought it was all about faith and destiny. This time he had to dare to talk to you.

You saw him along and recognized him instantly, Han Jisung, child celebrity and now social media celebrity, son of one of the country's top directors and co-founder of this company, you had heard rumors that he pursued acting as a career, however that his father wanted him to have a background and that it wasn't just about contacts and nepotism - as it was in his early childhood career - but as an adult his father gave him the opportunity to rehearse and earn acting roles on his own, so now he was practicing in his father's company, the best of them all, by the way.

You didn't make a big deal out of it, you weren't a fan of Jisung, you only followed him on instagram but he hadn't had any major roles for years; so he wasn't someone to make a fuss and idolize. With some nervousness, you approached one of the girls, ready to ask for instructions about how to get to the next room that marked your schedule, Jisung saw the confusion on your face and how you gently lifted the paper of your schedule, so he stepped forward, standing in front of you with a smile.

“Going somewhere?” he asked, his eyes wide paying full attention to you.

The other girls noticed and, like little immature schoolgirls, became jealous of you in seconds, your first impression was to walk in smugly -to them- wearing only designer and now you magically had Han Jisung's attention, they kept wondering… who you really were, whose daughter you were and why you appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the courses.

You smiled at the boy, relieved that you were getting help.

“Mmm, room C-14” you replied more in doubt than affirmation.

His smile grew bigger, showing his teeth and lifting his cheeks.

"I'm on my way there too. I'm Han Jisung by the way, but I'm better known by Han” he said, doing his best to look handsome and sound flirtatious.

You shyly told him your name and walked together to the new room.

The whole afternoon you lived a dream, unwinding in the real environment you always wanted to be in, you wanted to make love to Minho a hundred times to thank him and, the best part was when you were about to leave, although it left you thinking a little, Minho was outside in his car waiting for you and, an instructor stopped you to tell you.

“It is very common to open castings very often so by simply being part of here you are given the opportunity to audition, the calls are published every week in our private access page to the members of the agency, just to look if you meet the characteristics of the audition, you can also send the best options to your agent or public relations manager…”

Your eyes lit up, you could truly audition for real roles, the only small detail was that you didn't have an agent yet.

You walked out of your last session, walking happily to go into Minho's arms, however you hadn't noticed that Jisung was following you to keep talking, plus he didn't dare to shout your name to get your attention, so he followed you to the parking lot but stopped dead in his tracks as he saw you running into the arms of another man, leaving him perplexed. To your luck Minho was standing outside his car waiting for you and, you with a big smile that you passed on to him, he hugged you tightly.

He inhaled the sweet scent of your hair, burying his face in the hollow of your neck and shoulders as he held you tightly.

“Did you like it, princess?” he asked you softly.

“Yes, it was very nice, thank you Minho” you replied still hugging him.

You separated and he took your face between his hands to give you a kiss.

“Let's celebrate at home, I cooked you dinner.”

In the distance, Jisung saw everything puzzled, he really wanted to get closer to you, he was so curious to know who that man was and, when he separated from you, he could see his face completely, it was Lee Minho, the ex-boyfriend of his agent and publicist, with whom Jisung had also a crush for a long time, but she was always with Minho and then they broke up for unexplained reasons and now she had another man, but he always held a grudge against Minho and, if that wasn't enough, now he had you, the pretty unknown girl who was standing alone at that party. Soyul was Jisung's publicist and agent since he was eighteen, his beloved noona, and when he finally thought he could forget about her, you came along, but again, Lee Minho in his way.

On the other hand you without having the slightest idea got into Minho's car after he opened the door for you and when he was starting the car you caught his attention.

“Minho” he turned to see you right away with his eyebrows raised paying attention to you, you were embarrassed to say it but you had to, “…I think I need a publicist or PR agent, or manager… I really don't know…”

Minho blinked suddenly, “Oh my goodness, of course, princess, I'm seriously sorry I didn't prepare you sooner, I'll get you the best one as soon as we get home.”

[…]

You greeted Jisung, it was your second day and you wanted to continue adapting, but he ignored you and looked at you with a bad face, you frowned… thinking about what the hell was wrong with him. You continued the day without him saying a single word to you, he really looked annoyed with you, so before you left you approached him, wanting an explanation of his behavior or if that was his real way of being, sweet one day and the next acting strange.

“Han” you approached him, to which he turned to see you with a nasty look, almost offended that you called his name.

“Don't call me Han” he snorted, grabbing his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder to leave, without saying anything to you.

The rest of the week was heavy, your utopia lasted a day, you were barely spoken to at practice and you were starting to get so tired that you hardly saw Minho, or enjoyed with him; you came home to rest since all you wanted was to feel your bed. And every day Jisung behaved stranger and like a real son of a bitch with you, as if he hated you. And to the little lack of friends, you had Felix with whom you did not stop texting, you told him every detail, from the color of shirt that idiot Jisung was wearing, to superficial things, Minho was getting more and more annoyed that you did not leave your cell phone and it infuriated him 10 times worse to see Felix's name on your screen, so one night when you stayed at his house, before sleeping, already being in his bed, he simply told you seriously:

“I want you to stop seeing Felix. Stop texting him” he said annoyed, snatching your cell phone from you, you looked at him perplexed, “Look at me, I'm here.”

You pouted slightly, understanding perfectly that he must have felt bad.

“Minho…” you said tenderly but he didn't reciprocate your sentiment.

“I'm being serious” he added annoyed.

You laughed incredulously.

“You can't forbid me who to talk to, what-”

“I can do whatever I want with you” he interrupted you, a heavy energy taking hold of him, “Go to sleep.”

And he turned his back on you, not giving you the phone and leaving you confused. The next morning he apologized for acting that way with you, yet he didn't mention Felix, Minho was really starting to get annoyed. So, you stupidly lied to him. Felix offered to do your first movie night that Friday since you hadn't done it for weeks, so you agreed no problem since you saw him happy again, being his usual self, you were greedy and wanted everything, you wanted Minho and you also wanted Felix in your life.

So you lied to Minho, saying that you wanted to rest in your apartment that day and you couldn't see him, plus you had homework and other things, he really wanted to spend time with you and offered to be with you in your apartment if you wanted to be there, which made you feel terrible, but in the end he agreed, giving you your time alone, apparently.

That Friday night you welcomed Felix to your apartment, who was very happy to see you alone finally having your time together. He came over to your living room couch, ready to put on the movie, of which he wanted to experience something scary, you laughed as he told you about it, it was obvious that Felix wouldn't even survive the first 30 minutes of the movie, he was easily scared.

“I have to pee” you announced confidently, “but you can start playing the movie and grab the snacks, I'll be right back.”

You quietly told yourself to pee; Felix was so happy to be in your apartment again, he had given it a lot of thought and… he came to the conclusion that Minho was just a relationship, but not an official engagement, so he would subtly do everything he could to make you look at him again with different eyes and find him attractive. Felix took the remote control, agilely looking for the movie that was ready to start, he was about to stand up to choose the snacks when he felt a vibration next to him, he thought for a second that it was his cell phone, but it was yours that was resting on the sofa, Felix saw Minho's name, indicating that it was a call and his blood boiled in anger, thinking that not even in your moments alone he would not leave you alone. So, without thinking about it and to play a little, he decided to pick up the call, rubbing it in that it was him who was at his girlfriend's house on a Friday night and not him.

Minho missed you and felt so bad for simply leaving you like that, plus he wanted to be with you, so he was ready to come visit you with a bouquet of flowers since you were trying so hard at your acting practice, and he wanted to ask you if you wanted some dinner. That he would be at your apartment as soon as possible.

Minho smiled happily as he realized you took the call, he took a breath ready to speak but remained open-mouthed as he got a big surprise.

“Minho” greeted a male voice puzzling your boyfriend.

“Who is this?” he said worried with a frown.

“It's me, Felix” replied your friend with an arrogant tone, amused by the situation.

Minho couldn't believe it, he could even speak properly, causing Felix satisfaction.

“What… what are you-, where is y/n?” he asked in desperation.

Felix sighed, almost letting out a growl, “She's… agh, busy.”

Minho's heart stopped for a second, the worst case scenario came to his mind, his trust was damaged, he knew deep down that you weren't like that… but even from the one he loved the most he expected the worst, sadly. Minho hung up abruptly, leaving Felix confused and grimacing, thinking he had really upset him.

Minho rushed to your house, unsure if you were really there, but he would still come looking for you. He didn't think twice, a strength came over him, he couldn't believe it. He had to stop beating himself up and getting silly ideas or he would start crying with anger and sadness.

You came out of the bathroom, with perfectly washed hands and a smile, Felix saw you just the same, so innocent with his freckles on his face and his eyes shrinking from smiling, as if he hadn't done anything wrong seconds ago. And you sat down next to him.

Exactly 35 minutes passed, Felix was already terrified sheltering next to you, covering his eyes, until the sudden sound of your door startled you both. You both looked at the same time towards the door in fear.

“Are you expecting someone?” asked Felix in fright to which you denied, “Why didn't they warn you that someone was coming, no one can just barge in like that…”

You stopped being dramatic and stood up to see who it was, the only people you warned the doorman that they could enter your apartment were Minho, Hari and Felix; you didn't have time to check if you had any message from any of the two out of three in your list, warning that they would come to visit you, you were already in front of your door, looking through the peephole; Felix stayed behind you, scared. And you found Minho, scarier than any horror movie…. He was going to see that Felix was there. You saw him again, he had a serious expression.

You opened up to him, and his eyes opened instantly, examining every part of you, from the time it took you to open the door, from every detail of your clothes and face; but it was safe, your lips were not swollen, your clothes were intact, Minho relaxed his gaze and hugged you tightly.

“Oh, y/n” he said.

You were puzzled by his action but he was so relieved, the last time he appeared by surprise at home, his ex-girlfriend was having sex in their own bed with another man, Minho had terrible memories all the way to your place, hoping that you weren't like that.

He broke away from you, and instantly tensed as he looked at Felix behind you, who had the same disappointed reaction.

“I thought you'd be alone today,” Minho said to you in a low, croaking voice as he looked down at your silhouette.

You looked down at the ground in sorrow, you hated lying to Minho.

“Felix… he stopped by and stayed.”

Minho tried to hide his anger, he took your face in his hands and looked at you tenderly but somewhat defiantly.

“Well I'm your boyfriend and I also stopped by, can I stay?”

You nodded looking into his eyes with your face in his hands, Minho gave you a quick kiss, looking at Felix fixedly challenging him, victorious that he is the one who can kiss you, to which Felix sighed annoyed, it was enough for him, he wasn't ready to see you like this with him.

“Movie night?” added Minho amused.

Felix was about to call it a day and leave, he would let Minho win this time, he couldn't stand seeing you together.

“You know what…” spoke Felix catching both of your attention, “I remembered that I have to urgently go to something with Rachel, I'm really sorry, I have to go.”

You frowned at your friend's clear excuse, Minho smiled pleased that he finally decide to think critically and leave you two alone.

“Felix” you whispered but he ignored you, he walked over to the couch to grab his phone and keys and walked over to you.

Felix gently grabbed you by the waist and planted a delicate kiss on your forehead, not only dismaying Minho but also you, you blushed, you didn't believe he did that in front of your boyfriend without fear. Minho's eyes widened in horror and he clenched his fist tightly restraining himself, he wasn't going to hit him for that, but he wasn't going to let it go either, he would talk it over with you right away.

“Goodbye” he whispered to you as he separated from you.

And he walked through the door. You saw him sad, you were going to go after him without thinking but you felt Minho's hand take your wrist.

"Don't. Go. After him” he said threateningly.

“Minho” you whined, gently breaking free from his grip and caught up with Felix in the hallway.

“Fuck” you heard Minho mumble in annoyance.

“Felix” you called his name and walked up to him, he turned hurt to see you and you not knowing what to say, you said, “I'm sorry.”

Felix sighed again and wanted to be honest with you.

“Y/n… it's still hard for me to see you with him, please don't complicate things any more.”

“I know, I'm sorry” you repeated again.

Felix approached you, he saw your regretful look, him realizing in seconds that he could manipulate you with ease, you would always have a soft spot for him. Felix took your forearms in his hands, forcing you to look into his eyes.

“I'll talk to you later to go out another time, okay? And please make him not show up.”

You quickly denied.

“He won't.”

“Maybe you can stay at my place next time” he smiled to which your countenance quickly changed.

“Felix… I can't do that anymore.”

He looked at you seriously and sighed.

“Just… let's get back together without being interrupted by Minho, okay? I have to take it slow.”

You walked back to your apartment, finding Minho annoyed with his hands on his hips. You closed the door behind you, you couldn't even defend yourself, you had lied to him; and he had promised not to get mad anymore.

“I can't believe my girlfriend chooses her friend over me” he spat in annoyance.

“I don't choose him over you…”

“How would you feel if a girl friend invited me to her house to spend the night watching a movie while I'm around her, a night when I could be spending it together with you” he exclaimed again annoyed.

You looked him in the eyes and thought about the situation; Minho was right, you wouldn't stand for that to happen.

You didn't respond and walked to your kitchen counter, with nothing to say, but he had a lot to say so he continued, fueling his anger.

“And what angers me the most is that he walks around… touching you, kissing you, rubbing me the wrong way as if you guys had something…” he said reasoning, suddenly a flush of anger came back to him, “or did you guys actually had something, is that it? Why is it that every time I see that boy he looks at me as if he knows something I don't” he began to raise his voice.

You looked at Minho again.

“Minho don't start with that again…”

You started to get annoyed too, every damn chance he could, he would claim you if you had something with any other man.

“With what? Why is that kid walking around like he'd already touched you?” he walked towards you, stepping in front of you.

Minho suspected it from deep inside him, but he wanted to hear you admit it. This time you averted your gaze, always the same question, and you had never given him a concrete answer.

“Did I have sex with Felix? Yes, once before you, but it was really nothing, why can't you trust me now?” you started to say bravely and at the end sadly.

Minho looked at you perplexed, one of his greatest fears… but hearing the word trust, he understood immediately, his trust had been broken in the past and he was afraid of getting hurt again. He remained silent for a moment and then took hold of your waist, calming and speaking honestly.

“I'm sorry… of course I trust you but… you know what happened the last time I trusted someone.”

You searched his crestfallen gaze. You understood what he was referring to but it seemed absurd that he would hesitate, you were crazy about him.

“I would never do that to you Minho.”

Because I love you. You wanted to tell him, but you held back and just hugged him, suddenly the man who could carry you with ease and loved control, became small in your arms.

When Minho broke away he couldn't hold back and kissed you slowly, making his way with silly steps to your room to make love to you, you needed the closeness of his body more than anything else merely sexual. You wanted him close, attached to you, being vulnerable.

[…]

The rest of the week seemed to go by slowly, until your agent sent you the perfect information and appointment to audition for a TV drama. He got it for you as soon as possible, exactly that day in the afternoon, it was the last auditions they were taking so you were in luck; you were so nervous, it was your first audition for a big deal. And, two days later, you had the most beautiful call between you and your agent, confirming you got the part, blowing you away. Your first major role, you were dying to tell Minho the news.

You didn't think the staff worked too fast because that very day everything was planned inside the company, you met the producer, the director and finally… your co-worker with whom you had to act a love interest. You were stunned to see that it was a slight enemy, Han Jisung. He didn't like the idea either, but you both had to pretend with the rest of the cast for the photo, it wasn't a leading role, but you both would play important characters for the plot; two young people in high school in love, the news had been so sweet for you until you saw his face.

You stayed for the small celebration to meet the rest of the cast and important staff, you were at the dessert table until you felt Jisung next to you.

“You still have a chance to give up the role before they release the official cast photos” he whispered to you.

You turned to look at him offended.

“I'm not giving up anything just because your wacky ass is craving for it, you do it, find another role and another girl to pick on” you replied him also with attitude.

Jisung let out an incredulous chuckle and was ready to return your aggressive energy with another comment, but his countenance relaxed when he saw someone enter; he left you there and went to greet whoever had arrived. You took no notice, but suddenly a strangely familiar voice made you freeze.

“Congratulations on the role” the woman spoke.

You turned around slowly and fearfully, finding Minho's ex-girlfriend. You couldn't believe it, of all the places and all the people in the city… she thought so too, it wasn't nice to see you.

Soyul opened her eyes in surprise at the sight of you. It was all part of Jisung, he just wanted to watch the world burn and see how the before and after in Minho's love life met.

“Nice to see you again…you're an actress now…?” she spoke to you hypocritically to which you nodded, “…how is Minho, are you still dating him?”

Jisung was surprised, he didn't think you already met, he thought then, Soyul still had Minho in mind.

“Yes” you hastened to say, “he is very well, busy for work.”

“I see he's still very busy… I hope he won't neglect you” she added, leaving you confused.

You were nervous but you didn't let yourself be exposed like that; suddenly you hear a voice from the staff calling your name so you rush over there.

Soyul was thoughtful at the name you were called by and ran over there… and asked Jisung if your name wasn't Choi Eunjoo.

[…]

You had a dinner to celebrate the beginning of the shooting and development of the project, you had already received your script but… you wanted to tell Minho the news as soon as possible; they were given the rest of the afternoon to get ready, you asked the driver not to tell Minho that you had left early and, once you arrived at your apartment you sent him a message asking him if he could come to see you at your place, he quickly answered 'ok' and 40 minutes passed… you thought he would cancel you at the last minute because something important must have come up at work. You didn't have a specific plan, you just wanted to hug him and tell him the news, you had bought some wine to relax the atmosphere and make it more sophisticated… but every time you were losing hope of seeing him, until you heard yourself knocking on your door, running towards it.

You found Minho, hidden among a large bouquet of flowers, until you saw his radiant face in an adorable smile. You opened your mouth in amazement and let him pass.

“For you” he said kissing your cheek, “you've been working so hard, princess” you took the bouquet, longing for it in detail, as if he knew you would give him good news. “You missed me so much you wanted to see me?”

You smiled at him and gave him a short kiss on the lips.

“Thank you, Minho, they're so pretty… I have news for you” you left the flowers on the table and Minho looked at you with attention, you were embarrassed to say it, but you did, “… I got my first role” you exclaimed happily.

A big smile formed on Minho, he suddenly radiated genuine happiness and rushed to hug you tightly lifting you up a little.

"Congratulations, really. You deserve it” he replied hugging you.

And kissed you tightly when you distanced yourselves a little more as you didn't stop holding each other. You blushed, you didn't know how to react.

“Do you want to celebrate somehow?” he added sweetly blinking suddenly.

“Oh… I have to go to a dinner in a few hours so I didn't think of anything special, other than seeing you.”

Your words made Minho warm. You both were inches apart and his closeness always took your breath away… he looked so good, suddenly something of another kind of love and affection for your boyfriend crossed your mind… you played with the collar of his shirt and raised your gaze, giving him the lascivious eyes, you wanted to feel good.

Minho smiled sideways at the realization and lowered his hands a little from your back to your ass.

“Who's more special than me making you feel good, right, princess?” he replied.

You nodded, and your small movements were interrupted by your boyfriend's lips on yours kissing you nimbly. He pulled you closer to his body and slowly caressed from your back to your ass, you were starting to get aroused and it was just… something about Minho wearing his office clothes made you so hot, he looked so good in his tight cloth pants and his button up shirts that marked his arms.

Minho started to undress you until he left you completely naked in front of him, your body was exalted as you felt a little spank on your ass, then he took it again and squeezed it hard kissing you again. You felt so dirty and naughty being naked in front of him and him still wearing all his clothes. Minho kissed you the whole time, as he moved his hand down to your pussy and began to caress you mercilessly, wetting his fingers all over your area. He was so excited too that in one swift movement, he turned your body and made you lean back against the edge of your kitchen counter, giving him the view of your back and ass. You watched eagerly as your boyfriend pulled down his pants and released his cock, you bit your lip as you imagined him fucking you, but to your surprise, he placed his member between your folds, making you close your legs and began to rub his cock between your thighs. You both moaned and you thought about how every time he came up with anything to tease you. The texture of his cock rubbing between your labia and his tip protruding from the other end between your clitoris and mons pubis, you gasped more and more, Minho was driving you crazy. Minho held on to the lower part of your arched back as whimpered at the tightness of your thighs together pressing his cock, moving back and forth until he let out his cum, sliding down your thighs and squirting the beginning of your vulva.

[…]

The next day you had an unexpected and beautiful visit to the practice. Minho was there. Apparently he was going to be an official and heavyweight sponsor throughout the shoot. You smiled discreetly at him and slipped away to ask him if that was planned before or after you got the part, you would be disappointed to know that Minho was in the way of you getting a part, but you noticed the innocence in his eyes, he had planned it all right after you told him.

Minho was friends with the producer so he offered him to stay and see a bit about the project, Minho accepted without a second thought, that meant more time to see you.

“They are the two main ones” the producer said to Minho pointing to two adults close to his age, “And the two young ones over there” Minho saw how they pointed to you and another guy, “they are other characters with love interest… but I see a certain attitude from the guy with the girl, I think they seriously should have chemistry if they want this to go well; besides they are adorable together, don't you think so?”

Minho didn't think it was funny nor did he find the gentleman's words pleasant and then watched as the boy grabbed your arm and dragged you away from the room, puzzling and annoying him a bit.

You walked out of there with Jisung totally confused, annoyed about whatever he would want now.

“Did you read the script yet?” he spoke to you curtly.

“What?”

“I refuse to kiss you, that won't happen, I told you to give up the role” he spoke annoyed.

Again you looked at him perplexed, you didn't even understand what his problem was… but he had a very big problem towards you, it bothered him that you couldn't be his and you were running around with Lee Minho.

You really wanted to challenge and talk back to Jisung but… he was the damn son of the owner of the company.

“Oh please grow up” you just put it to him saying, rolling your eyes.

“Then cooperate to make this go well.”

You opened your eyes in surprise, you saw his intentions to get dangerously close to you, but you shifted your body uncomfortably and managed to slip away and re-enter the room a little upset, Minho saw you and wanted to instantly run to you… but he had to keep it cool.

You were thinking that Jisung wanted to behave weirdly with you, maybe he just wanted to flirt with you so you would clarify that you had a boyfriend… and you couldn't tell Minho at all because you were afraid that he would react possessive again and you hated when he got like that and blamed you by, going back to your usual fight.

Minho saw you distracted while he was driving and stopped the car near the river view. You looked around because he had suddenly stopped and you looked at him for the first time after leaving the agency.

“What's wrong, love?”

You grimaced, urging a smile.

"Nothing… I'm… anxious about the new job” you lied.

Minho smiled at you and wanted to let your thoughts pass for a second, he just wanted to hug you and being locked in his car didn't help him.

“And you feel too tired to walk for a while with your old boyfriend?” he joked imitating an old man voice which made you laugh.

You shook your head and got out of the car, feeling the cold breeze, Minho ran to you and put his coat on you. You thought it had been long days when you were out walking with Minho doing nothing special, just seeing places together. He lifted your chin, making you look into his eyes, he couldn't hold back anymore, he took your face and brushed his lips on the bridge of your nose in a kiss.

“I love you.”

That surprised you and came to you like a cold gust of wind, which suddenly turned warm in seconds. All your questions had answers now. No one could take you away from him.

“You know I love you too.”

------------------

₊˚⊹ ᰔ TAGLIST: @stayceebs97 @linocz @kimseungminsprincess @xhazmania @strayzid @jisunglyricist @tinys0ftie @yaorzu-blog @kisses-too-the-moon

[estellan0vella]

The Two Strongest ❀Satoru Gojo Masterlist HFBU

You’re sitting on the soft, green grass of a tranquil park, nestled comfortably in Satoru’s arms. His white hair catches the sunlight, creating an ethereal halo around his head, and his trademark blindfold is replaced by sunglasses that let you see his captivating blue eyes. He holds you close, his presence a soothing balm to your anxious mind.

Living with epilepsy is a constant challenge, but with Satoru, you feel a sense of security that you've rarely experienced before. Today, the park is alive with the laughter of children, the chirping of birds, and the rustling of leaves in the gentle breeze. It’s a beautiful day, and Satoru insists on making the most of it.

“You know,” he says, his voice a mix of playfulness and sincerity, “I’ve been thinking about getting you a protective charm. Something to ward off bad spirits and maybe even seizures.”

You laugh, the sound light and airy. “Do those even exist?”

He grins, that signature cocky smile that’s somehow endearing. “Well, if they don’t, I’ll just have to make one. I am the strongest sorcerer, after all.”

His confidence is infectious, and you can’t help but feel a bit more at ease. The two of you lie back, staring up at the sky, the clouds drifting lazily above. Satoru’s fingers trace patterns on your arm, a comforting presence that keeps you grounded.

“Do you remember the first time we met?” you ask, turning your head to look at him.

He chuckles. “How could I forget? You were so determined to ignore me.”

“I thought you were just another arrogant sorcerer,” you admit, a smile playing on your lips. “But then you surprised me.”

“I have that effect on people,” he says, his tone teasing yet gentle. “But you… you’re different. You see beyond the surface.”

You nod, feeling a rush of affection for him. Despite his often flamboyant personality, Satoru has a depth to him that you’ve come to cherish. He’s been there for you through the toughest times, and you’ve seen sides of him that few others have.

Suddenly, you feel a familiar sensation—a warning sign that a seizure might be coming. Your heart rate picks up, and you grip Satoru’s hand a little tighter. He immediately senses the change, his playful demeanor shifting to one of concern and readiness.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asks, his voice steady and reassuring.

You nod, taking deep breaths to calm yourself. “I think I might have a seizure soon.”

Without missing a beat, Satoru sits up and helps you into a more comfortable position, his hands gentle but firm. He’s done this many times before, and his calmness helps to ease your anxiety.

“Remember to focus on your breathing,” he says softly. “I’m right here with you.”

As the seizure starts, you feel Satoru’s presence anchoring you. He speaks to you in a soothing tone, reminding you that you’re safe and that he’s there. The world blurs and shifts, but his voice remains a constant, guiding you through the storm.

When it’s over, you’re exhausted, but Satoru is right there, holding you gently, his arms a safe haven. He brushes a strand of hair from your face, his touch tender and reassuring.

“You did great,” he says, his voice filled with pride and love. “Just rest now. I’ve got you.”

You close your eyes, allowing yourself to relax in his embrace. The park’s sounds fade into the background as you focus on the steady rhythm of his breathing. It’s moments like these that remind you just how lucky you are to have Satoru in your life.

Later, as the sun begins to set, casting a warm glow over the park, you start to feel more like yourself again. Satoru helps you sit up, his hands never straying far from you.

“How are you feeling?” he asks, his blue eyes filled with concern.

“Tired, but better,” you reply, giving him a small smile. “Thank you for being here.”

“Always,” he says, kissing your forehead. “I’ll always be here for you.”

You lean into him, grateful for his unwavering support. Despite the challenges that come with your epilepsy, you know that with Satoru by your side, you can face anything.

As you both get up to leave, Satoru swings his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. “How about we get some ice cream? I know a place that has the best flavors.”

You laugh, nodding eagerly. “That sounds perfect.”

Walking side by side, you make your way out of the park, feeling lighter and more hopeful. Satoru’s presence is a constant reminder that you’re not alone in this journey. Together, you can navigate the ups and downs, finding joy and love in each moment.

The ice cream shop is cozy and inviting, with a wide array of flavors to choose from. Satoru insists on trying a bit of everything, making you laugh as he piles his cone high with a rainbow of colors. You opt for your favorite flavor, content to watch his childlike excitement.

As you sit together, enjoying your ice cream, Satoru’s hand finds yours under the table. He gives it a gentle squeeze, his eyes twinkling with affection.

“You know,” he says, his tone thoughtful, “I think we make a pretty great team. The Two Strongest"

You smile, your heart swelling with love. “Yeah, we do.”

Satoru’s expression softens, and he leans in, his lips brushing against your ear. “No matter what happens, I’m here for you. Always.”

You turn to face him, your eyes locking onto his. “And I’m here for you too, Satoru. Always.”

In that moment, surrounded by the simple joy of ice cream and each other’s company, you feel an overwhelming sense of peace. Life with epilepsy may be unpredictable, but with Satoru by your side, you know that you can face whatever comes your way.

As the evening draws to a close, you and Satoru walk hand in hand through the quiet streets, the city lights twinkling around you. You talk about everything and nothing, your conversations flowing effortlessly. There’s a comfort in being with someone who understands you so deeply, who knows your fears and your strengths, and loves you just the same.

When you finally reach your apartment, Satoru pulls you into a warm embrace. “Get some rest,” he whispers, his lips brushing against your forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You nod, feeling a sense of contentment wash over you. “Goodnight, Satoru.”

“Goodnight,” he replies, his voice soft and tender.

As you watch him walk away, you feel a deep sense of gratitude for the love and support he brings into your life. With Satoru, you’ve found a partner who not only accepts you for who you are but also empowers you to face each day with courage and hope.

And as you close the door behind you, you know that no matter what challenges lie ahead, you’ll never have to face them alone.

[cry4mina]

Supernatural

(Dahyun x gn!reader)

Word count: 1k

Fluff!

TW: Kinda suggestive?

A/N: Hello everyone! I’ve decided I’m going to start putting out shorter stories as well! Just a little something to keep putting out content and keep my brain going while I write the longer one shots/series fics I have planned! :) I hope you enjoy! 🖤

As always, DMs and Feedback are always welcome and appreciated! Have a great day/night!

—

The skies are clear, stars shining brightly down on you through the light breeze. It’s perfect sweater weather, leaves are browning and threatening to fall on the trees around you. Crickets play their symphonies in the distance to the tune of the calmness around you.

Sitting with the driver's seat leaned all the way back and your legs stretched out, you glance over at your crush who’s in a similar position but with her hands underneath the back of her head. Seat belts off, top down on the convertible that’s parked in a secluded area up on a mountain side.

Dahyun is just…everything. Hair so sleek and perfect, eyes always reflecting purity. A smile that could knock the wind out of anyone who got the chance to be graced by it, and a personality that would make even the blandest person fall in love with her.

The butterflies in your stomach never cease when she’s near. Even without many words shared between you two in the last hour, she had such a way of making you feel so comfortable. You could tell her anything without fear.

“Do you think aliens do the same thing?” Dahyun breaks the silence with a strange question.

“What?” giggling at her random inquiry.

“Well, we are laying here” she looks over at you with those eyes…god, her eyes just make you want to protect her from everything.

“And I’m just thinking…do you think that life forms on another planet do this too? Stare into the sky and think about life…or whatever it is they think about?”

A tight lipped smile on your face slowly creeps into a smile as bright as the moon, chuckling softly and turning on your side to face her.

“What parts of life are you thinking about?” curiosity getting a hold of you.

She halfway crosses her arms, not ready to share her thoughts. She’s always been private about certain things and you never pushed her to speak before she wanted to. Noticing the shift, you change the subject.

“You know, I think they might…what type of tv shows do you think they watch?” playfully lobbed back at her.

Dahyun mirrors your position in her own seat now, making eye contact, causing the stir in your stomach to swell rapidly. Even if she never says it, she’s always so grateful for your patience.

“I’d love to watch an alien sitcom some day!” joyfully expressed with more enthusiasm than you expected.

“Or maybe like one of those competition shows…like Survivor or something? Wouldn’t it be so cool to see what the atmosphere looks like?” eye wide with excitement and wonder.

“How many moons do you think they have?” enjoying her responses too much to let it fall back into comfortable silence while also keeping her mind off whatever it was that made her uneasy.

“Well if they have more than one moon, wouldn’t it be hard to see the stars?…the moon and the stars need each other…” she’s toying with her fingers but keeping her soft eyes on you, watching your movements.

“Kind of like…how I need you…” biting her lip in nervousness, unsure of how you’ll reply to what she’s just said.

Truthfully, you’re completely shocked. You knew your chemistry was immaculate, the friendship you had made was one people only write stories about…you had no idea the emotions you felt for her were reciprocated. Especially with a heavy word, like need.

Without hesitation, you reach your hand over and intertwine your fingers. Even in the chilled air, the gesture radiates warmth. Her grip tightens, almost out of pure disbelief. Her eyes match her body language in that same regard.

“That was corny as hell…but” pulling her hand lightly, faces now mere centimeters apart.

Dahyun’s breath hitches, processing how close you are to each other. Your hand slips underneath her hair and lays on the back of her neck, guiding her through the last bit of space right onto your lips.

Sparks fly from the contact, both of you slowly familiarizing yourself with each other's lips. Fingers interlocking, the soft sound of sweet small pecks that slowly turn into long, more passionate kisses.

You rest your forehead on hers and try to catch your breath, it seems that sentiment is shared between the two of you.

“So, do you want to get dinner sometime?” Sitting up, keeping hold of her hand as you sit more comfortably.

“Like…like a date?” Dahyun is completely overwhelmed with happiness, it’s refracting off her cheeks in a way that was contagious.

“Yes…absolutely a date.” confidently stated.

All she can do is smile at you.

“Sooooo…can I have more of those?” smirking as she asked to be close to you again.

���More of…these?” Laying your lips lovingly across her knuckles.

“Yes, but…uhm, maybe a little higher?” flustered by your lips on her skin, in any regard.

Laying your lips further up her arms, just to get a laugh before leaning over and passionately kissing her. She maneuvers you so your back is against the door, practically climbing into your lap.

The windows could’ve steamed up in the intensity. Dahyun reaches for the hem of the shirt you were wearing and pulls it up a little, dragging her finger up your stomach in the process.

“Wait, wait, wait” you say between your lips meeting over and over again.

“Let’s not rush” cupping her cheeks, both almost breathless as she lets go of your shirt.

Dahyun just nods her head at you, unable to speak but absolutely happy about what was transpiring and the proximity of your faces.

“Let’s start with that date…and see where it all goes.”

“You know, there is a cafe down the street that might still be open…if you wanted a late dinner…” suggested coyly, crawling back to the passenger seat and plopping down in it.

“Someone’s impatient…put your seatbelt on” leaning to kiss the tip of her nose.

You adjust your seat back into a comfortable position for driving, start the car and look over, Dahyun is lost in you. Memorizing every part of you.

“Everything okay?” grabbing her hand again and giving a little squeeze.

“Yes. Very much so. I’ve just…never been able to take you in without it being a secret.” winking at you as she readies her GPS to that cafe.

“Ready for our first date?” Dahyun asks, excited was an understatement.

“And ready for every date after.”

[bitter-bats-cult-of-the-moon]

What is Toxic Spirituality?

Spirituality is the practice of getting to know yourself better on a deeper level and learning about the world around you.

While this can provide physical, mental, and emotional health benefits, it can also take a turn for the worse. Sometimes spirituality can push harmful messages, toxic positivity, judgment, gaslighting, and cultish behavior.

Nine Toxic Spirituality Habits

1.   Spiritual Bypassing and Toxic Positivity

Spiritual bypassing is when you use spiritual concepts to avoid certain emotions or situations in your life. 

Toxic positivity is when you believe you need to be always positive to gain proper manifestation of your desires.

Suppressing emotions can lead to a buildup of unprocessed thoughts dependent on circumstances, and eventually you will mentally implode.

2.   Spiritual Narcissism

Spiritual narcissism is the belief that your spirituality makes you better than others. It’s the Us vs. Them mentality.  

The stronger your ego identifies with a specific belief the more difficult it will be to see any issues.

3.   Idolizing Spiritual Teachers 

The best teachers are the ones that help connect you to your inner self. Their goal is to act as a guide more so rather than be the ultimate truth. 

The trouble idolizing spiritual mentors is that there will be a point you’re going to disagree, and it will cause cognitive dissonance if you see them for more than they are.

4.   Superstitions and Attachment 

If you heavily rely on spiritual practices, items, and rituals to exist in the world and become solely dependent about superstitious beliefs linked to any of them, you are diminishing yourself.

You don’t need crystals to protect yourself.

You don’t need the wand to draw energy.

You don’t need the cauldron to burn incense or make potions. Although, even I can admit having one makes things more interesting.

5.   Hyper Discipline

I see this a lot. There are those that talk about the importance of discipline in spirituality. Likewise, I see others talk up the importance of flexibility.

Spirituality is a personal experience. If disciplined daily practices or rigid rituals work for you, then great, but if it feels forced reconsider things.

6.   Lack of Discernment

Not every spiritual practice will be right for you. Not everything will resonate. Not every metaphysical concept will ring truth. That’s good. It’s healthy to ask questions and think for yourself.

If you accept without question, you’re allowing yourself to be programmed by external forces becoming conditioned.

7.   Clinging to Truth

What’s true for you may not be true for someone else, and what was true for you last year may no longer be true for you today. 

Our beliefs can change over time as we learn and experience different facets to spirituality. Fighting for the word of truth or standing behind a specific religion promoting acts of war is an act of blasphemy. In that regard, belief and religious culture do not always coincide.

8.   Emotional Hypochondria

It’s possible to become attached to your own healing, making you feel the need to become a better, and better version of yourself.

Always overanalyzing everything will lead to an emotional burnout, and you will be hyper aware of every single feeling.  You will become self-depreciating, and you will be running in a circle like a silly hamster in its wheel going nowhere.

9.   Manic Manifesting

Shut up about manifestation.  I’m tired. It’s everywhere.  Constantly visualizing your desires, parroting affirmations, and trying to control every single frequency makes it feel manic.

Thinking on what you don’t have will make you see less of what you do have, and it is like beating yourself up mentally every day for those things you do not have.

Thinking on it without action is an obsession. The secret was a fun concept for a book, but unless you put it into actual action. There will be no change, Laws of physics, every action has a reaction. Because thinking is more like potential energy, but that still needs an activator. No one is going to miraculously fix things for you. You can do worksheets on what you want every day for the rest of your life, but at the end of your life you will have nothing you want except a pile of worksheets with your hopes and dreams that never happened.        

Diminishing Toxic Spirituality

If you’ve been participating in toxic spirituality, own it and grow from it. Be mindful of your intentions, ask questions, and navigate your experiences.

When something isn’t working you will know it, when you realize that something is wrong, it may have already set you back. When something keeps replaying in your mind, maybe that’s an area to work on. Or delve deeper, but with an analytical mind, rather than one that accepts everything. It’s like eating at a buffet. You can see the chicken is green, you can smell its rancid. But the person with you says it’s good. Are you going to take that at face value and trust them, or make your own choice?

Correct motivations for spirituality, belonging to a group is great. They help people feel connected, and it gives joy to be able to connect. While it is not for everyone, some people see the appeal in it, but as a result can become absorbed into the group and lose their individuality. Their need to be accepted can drive them to poor decision making, at the expense of their autonomy due to peer pressure.

Some go into practice to fuel their ego or have something unique and quirky to talk about. If it’s a fad, it probably isn’t the best idea. If you must run around yelling to your bullies at school, I'm a witch I will curse you. That is likely not the right reason to delve into a spiritual journey. While it may be doing it for your own sense of internal control over an aspect of your life, the journey becomes more about what you have against others, rather than delving within yourself and finding yourself.

Money, Power, Quick fixes. Spirituality and religions offer seemingly quick results with fake promises. Love spells, Churches, Community support. While in theory sounds too good to believe. Often the promises made by various people, groups, and sectors of religion can be very appealing; at times it is used for the profit of the people providing the services.

You would be surprised how many people offer snake oil, or a djinn in a ring for money. To give you all you want. If you are looking for your life to magically be alright, please remember this isn’t a modern fairytale.

Happy endings happen in movies because they can’t fit it all into an 80-minute run. There's character development, there’s ups downs, trials and moments of success and happiness. Without those moments, we don’t really discover who we are. We are more of a hollow once off character in a movie playing a role. We do not find us; we do not create... an Us in such a short time.

It’s best to be yourself, and not part of some collective.

The spiritual journey is yours so do it for yourself.

[the-golden-comet]

✨Thankful Thursday/Favorite Fiction Friday✨

Hi everyone! This week has been kind of crazy, but I haven’t forgotten. June’s a fantastic month for many different reasons: Pride, end of the fiscal year, for some it’s the end of the school year. But, there are many things to be thankful for.

I will start with, a MASSIVE thank you to @autism-purgatory , who made me fanart of Peter Hart that I am still gushing about and showing to my husband. You took time out of your day to draw my characters and make me smile, and I cannot thank you enough for that. I know how much joy it brings to see your characters come to life, and really inspire people. Thank you, G.J.

HUGE thank you to @thatuselesshuman who made me laugh from this meme about my stories, because it is entirely accurate and hilarious. Another one for my collection ✨

Gigantic thanks to @gioiaalbanoart, @wyked-ao3 and @sunglasses-in-the-bentley , who are reading Peter Hart for a second time (anyone else who is, please let me know too!) To read my works the first time is a gigantic honor; to go through the adventure again is one of the highest praises for an author, next to receiving fanart, fanworks, and fanfiction.

Thank you to this kind stranger, who made me beam all day from this comment. And thank you this community, who has shown so much kindness and support that I wonder why I’ve kept my talents hidden so long. Well, NO MORE. You will get art, you will get stories, you will get support, the best way I know how. I will do my best

Okay, enough gushing. Here are my favorite authors, and my favorite fiction from them:

@autism-purgatory — Loop Of The Hollow

@alinacapellabooks —The Tengu and the Angel

@gioiaalbanoart — Too Far Gone?

@justabigoldnerd — I Am Your Lover (I Am Your Jailor)

@fortunatetragedy — Doom Metal Love Story

@wyked-ao3 — Tuesday event or is it

@poorreputation — Dimples

@sunglasses-in-the-bentley — I Won’t Hurt You

@pippinoftheshire — Sing Me A Lullaby Before I Go

@lychhiker-writes — Snippet Dump

@brigidfromthecelts — The Devil’s Sonata

@dyrewrites — Before Deluca

@froggy-pposto — oblation

@deanwax — Cycle’s End

@far-cry-from-finality — The World’s Not Ending As Long As We’re In It

@theverumproject — The Verum Project

@snugglesquiggle — Hostile Takeover

@zackprincebooks — Dear Heart

@bookish-karina — Your Average Fangirl

@glasshouses-and-stones — The system’s breaking down

@thatuselesshuman — Bloody Hands are Kind

@piscesapplelady35 — As Lethal As Holy Water

@shards-things — Meant To Be

@sic-sempervirens — Taarasthari

@katenewmanwrites — Whispers In The Moonlight

@noblebs — Everything With Teeth

I’m most likely missing a few, but if YOU know of some amazing authors and literature, feel free to add to this list and spread the positivity!

For everyone reading this: Your fiction is fantastic, your stories are inspiring, and you are an amazing writer, artist, and human on this planet. Thank you for everything. 💫

[poomphuripan]

EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW: My Stand-In’s Up & Poom get candid about the hit Thai drama

First of all, we would like to congratulate you guys on the success of My Stand-In. And we are only 6 episodes in! How does it feel?

Up: Thank you very much! I promise it will get better and even more intense in the following episodes!

Poom: We’re very happy with the results thus far. Everyone worked very hard on this project, including the cast and crew, who all wanted to produce a great work that fans would enjoy.

Ming seems to have changed a lot when the new Joe sees him. But do you feel that he has sincerely changed and realised his mistakes?

Up: As the one who plays Ming, I really think he has sincerely changed, but does he actually realise his mistakes- I would say you guys gotta stay tuned for the subsequent episodes to find out!

Poom: From the viewer’s perspective, it is clear that Ming has changed when it comes to treating Joe. However, his personal traits remain the same – still being somewhat selfish. What stands out is his love and patience for Joe.

Despite everything Ming has done, we see Joe starting to melt a little especially when he sees that Ming has been waiting for him all these years. Do you think Joe should give him a second chance?

Up: I would say he should! He wouldn’t know what happened to Ming during those two years, what he has been through and how much he suffered.

Poom: Joe might still be confused because, for him, that process might be two years to Ming but it felt like it was just a day ago for Joe since he was in a coma. He might need time to think and observe Ming further. Deep down, I believe Joe will eventually forgive Ming.

If you guys could meet Joe and Ming in real life, what would you like to tell them?

Up: I would tell Joe to keep on fighting and grinding, you got a lot on your shoulder right now, but I know it will pass! For Ming, please stay calm and control your emotions. Everything will get better if you balance your heart and mind.

Poom: I wouldn’t say anything to Ming because I wouldn’t dare to approach him. For Joe, I would like to encourage him, to believe that the bad times will soon pass, and to wish for his happiness.

No spoilers but how do you guys think fans will react after watching the finale?

Up: No spoilers but it’s just gonna get more intense right till the finale so buckle up and be prepared for any possible plot twist!

Poom: I’m pretty sure fans will cry due to the mix of emotions—happiness, sadness, joy, and relief.

My Stand-In has quite a lot of emotional scenes. How do you recharge after filming such scenes?

Up: To be honest, emotional scenes are energy-draining, and as an actor, we will need to recharge. However, I think it’s important and healthy to handle emotional scenes correctly, as it can sometimes permanently damage the actors’ and actresses’ emotional health. 

One thing I love the most about working on emotional scenes with Poom is that we pass positive energy to each other even before the scene starts. We would find each other and hold hands or hug each other before filming these scenes, and that helped us pass through almost any difficult scenes. 

After we ended work each day, we would take a quick trip before going home to a nearby restaurant just to get a light meal and talk about the scenes (we filmed). That definitely helped us recharge and get rid of any negative energy we might encounter each day we were filming My Stand-In.

Poom: Definitely felt a sense of relief completing them, as there was a sense of anxiety about the heavy emotional scenes beforehand, and also letting the characters’ stories unfold. 

Your reactions to watching My Stand-In were hilarious. When you watch your own shows do you watch it as a fan or are you critical about your acting?

Up: Actually I do in both perspectives. We watch it as a person who would like to enjoy a good show which is usually while filming the reaction videos. However, when we are alone we would watch it and criticise our own acting and what we can do to improve in the future. We share this common goal and passion for our acting career, and we truly believe that self-development is critical in this career path.

Poom: I normally do like to watch my own performance to analyze whether it was a good job or not. If there are areas for improvement, I will note them down and make adjustments in the future. For the good parts, I work on enhancing them further.

Is there anything new that you’ve learned about yourself while filming My Stand-In?

Up: I really enhanced and further developed my skills in acting. I felt that I got more mature in my acting career. But the best thing I felt that I got from filming My Stand-In is that I got to play it with the best partner I could ask for, Poom who shared the same goal, passion and vision for this career path. I would like to thank him very much for being such a great partner.

Poom: I learned that when you commit to something sincerely, no matter the outcome, you’ve done your best. Effort never betrays anyone.

When you are not working, what is it that you like to do in your free time?

Up: If I get a day off (which rarely happens), I would just wake up and enjoy myself with a good book and cup of coffee. Or even go out for a round of golf with my friends.

Poom: I like to sleep, watch a comedy, listen to music, and play some games.

Your roles in My Stand-In are quite different from what you guys have done before. As actors, what is it that attracts you when you are deciding on a new project like My Stand-In?

Up: Being someone I couldn’t be in real life challenges me to grow as an actor, and every role I take on gives me the chance to try new things. I’m therefore quite open to new and difficult opportunities and that’s how I decided to work on this project.

Poom: As an actor, this project is very interesting because the character has a lot of emotional depth and many interconnected stories. The characters are quite complex, and the fun script and good production made it very appealing.

Up, you have a knack for picking up projects that tend to go viral such as Girl From Nowhere and Lovely Writer. And now My Stand-In! Did you know they would become hits back then or was it a surprise?

Up: It was all a surprise, the only thing I aimed to do was to continue developing my acting skills ever since my early years in this career. One thing I truly believe is that no matter how long it takes, your skill and talent will eventually be noticed. 

Poom, it must have been quite a struggle since the pandemic happened right during the start of your career. So, what motivated you to keep going and find your success?

Poom: Love for acting, respect for the profession, and the joy of doing it. 

After such challenging roles, what would you guys like your next projects to be? Something funny, lighthearted? Or similarly dark and full of angst?

Up: Actually we talked about this too. We would take up any opportunity presented to us. Because with a great partner, no matter the role we’re taking on, we know we will give it our all and do our very best to become a better version of ourselves.

Poom: Every project is challenging because each character is different. If possible, other than having a great partner back with me, I would like to try a project with even more action scenes. 

Well, we have been loving every minute of My Stand-In and will definitely be tuning in for the upcoming episodes. Any last words for your fans?

Up: Thank you very much for all your love and support, without you guys, we wouldn’t be here today. Please stay tuned for My Stand-In! And we hope that you will love all the characters as much as we love them! Thank you!

Poom: I have nothing to say but thank you. I feel deeply grateful and appreciate the fans very much. Everything we do is to make the viewers happy and entertained. If everyone enjoys it, we are happy too. Finally, I want to thank the fans because, without them, I wouldn’t be here today. Thank you.

[sunshine-on-marz]

Cradles

In which you get to see Dean in his TRUE element

Dad! Dean x Mom! Reader

Warnings: none really unless you don’t like kids

I am not a mother but I tried to be accurate lmao

Also I couldn’t remember for the life of me if the bunker had a couch but it does now stfu

You were on the couch folding clothes, baby clothes to be exact, while Dean was holding the baby. It was a miracle to keep her awake for more then 20 minutes at a time so Dean was more than happy to play with her when she was up, not that baby Charlie was all too happy about it most of the time. You and Dean both knew it was expected for newborns to cling to their mother, but you saw the hurt on Dean’s face whenever his daughter cried as soon as her picked her up, so right now, seeing his smile as she squeaks and coos makes your heart smile.

You feel the couch dip next to you and you turn to see Sam who extends his hand “I can take over laundry if you want to go take a nap” he offers, and as much as you could probably use a little break, you shake your head. “Don’t wanna miss this” you smile and nod over to Dean, Sam smiles. “It’s pretty cool to see him being a dad” Sam’s comment makes you laugh softly. “I’ve been watching him be a dad ever since I met you two” you say, leaning you head on Sam’s shoulder. “You were his kid long before Charlie was” you tell him. Sam doesn’t respond, just pulls you into a hug. When you two go back to watching Dean and the baby, you speak again. “I really hope she’s a daddy’s girl”, you say it so quietly you’re positive Dean couldn’t have heard, but Sam did. “I don’t think any mother ever has said that before” he laughs, and so do you. “Yea well, I think he deserves it” you hum, fully content to just watch Dean be a father. In this moment that’s all that matters. Not monsters, not Chuck, nothing but the little family you’ve built.

You hear the bunker door click open, and look up to see Cas holding groceries. He walks over and hands you an energy drink. “Cas you might have just became my favorite person ever” you chuckle as he smiles “Hello to you too”. Sam follows him to the kitchen, which leaves you and Dean alone again. He walks over and sits beside you on the couch.

“She looks just like her mom” he says, kissing you on the cheek, “speaking of her mom, how are you? You can go shower or sleep, or both. I’ve got her” and you realize for a millionth time that you’ve found your person. “I’m shockingly gonna decline that offer” you say, leaning to rest on Dean’s shoulder. “I wanna stay like this for a second” you whisper, and he kisses your temple. “That sounds nice”. So that’s what you do. Sit there and look at the life you brought into the world and realize that everything truly had been worth it. Saving the world was nothing compared to this.

OMGGGGABSJAKAJSKXKDKS DEAN WINCHESTER DESERVED TO BE A FATHER.

Sorry for my disappearance school made me want to die then drivers ed made want to die then life made me want to die and I still want to die but now I want to die AND write about Dean so like

Tagging @canonically-a-genloser bc they’ve been witnessing my crazy and also think dad Dean is amazing

Btw this is one of the good supernaturals I made in my head so this is post season 15 minus all the bad shit okie love you bye

Remember to reblog and tell me what you think!!! Feedback and reblogs make the world go round!! Love you babes!!

[callsign-rogueone]

intimacy alphabet - d.a.

Dain Aetos x reader words: 1.8k 🏷: NSFW, implied feminine afab reader but can be read as neutral, discussions of sex (penetrative and oral), mild kink, soft dom/sub dynamics, very brief mentions of Dain's Issues™️. I had to sit with this one for a while, but I stand by it. apologies in advance. yes it is 8:45am here. what about it.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

a gentleman, but also very systematic and disciplined, like he is in most aspects of life; cleans you both up quickly and then shower and cuddles and sleep. maybe a little debrief in there somewhere, too, about what worked for each of and what didn’t.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he’s fond of his arms, and the definition there that he’s gained in his time at Basgiath. his relic from Cath is on his delt/tricep on one side, and he’s proud of that, too.

he likes laying a hand on your lower back, or gently pulling your into his side by your hips or waist, likes smoothing his hands over the soft curves and admiring them, massaging them lightly… 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

no strong opinions about where, but he’ll clean it up quickly after. he sounds so pretty when he cums, the sweetest little gasp/moan. and when he’s the one subbing, he’ll always thank you <3

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

It didn’t stay a secret for very long, but the fact that he wants to be the submissive / the one being taken care of or ordered around sometimes. (I’m struggling to come up with anything else. I don’t think he’s a very kinky guy 😅)

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I had to think about this one. I’ve decided that he isn’t super experienced, but he kinda knows what he’s doing, and he’s a very fast learner. and if you praise him for the things he does right, he’ll keep doing them. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

at first he’d definitely default to missionary, but you introduced him to a few new ones. the new default is you on your back, him kneeling with your legs spread around his hips and his hands on your waist pulling toward him a little bit. does that make sense… lots of perks; he can get nice and deep, see the pretty blissed-out look on your face when he’s making you feel good, hold your hand when you get close, lean down to kiss you… 

he also really likes you riding him, and he maybe tends to slip into subspace a little when you do… such a cutie looking up at you all glossy-eyed and panting… you look so pretty on top of him like that, cooing praise down at him, and it melts his brain.

oh also… once, when he was really stressed about wingleader stuff, you volunteered to let him bend you over his desk, and it changed his life forever. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he’s pretty serious in the moment. he can laugh if you knock heads or something, or in the aftermath when you realize the damage you’ve done to your room (scattered papers, etc) or where your clothes ended up… etc. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he’s particular about getting regular haircuts and shaves (trims his beard) often, so yeah, the other stuff is probably in the rotation, too. I don’t see him being particularly hairy anywhere. it was a struggle for him to grow that beard 😅

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

he’s gentle and romantic with it more often than not. he’s not the one night stand type, and he’s not just picking a random person. if he’s doing anything with you, he’s probably already committed, even if he hasn’t said it out loud.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

didn’t do it often before he met you, but he was relying heavily on his right hand until he worked up the courage to take things farther with you. prefers to handle it in his own room and then immediately hit the showers.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

praise praise praise. mister golden-boy-gifted-kid-with-cold-uncaring-parents needs validation, to be told he’s doing well, to be praised and cooed at and given affirming words. tell him how good he’s making you feel, call him a good boy, tell him he’s pretty… he’ll be at your beck and call.

he’s a little in denial about it, or hasn’t realized it yet maybe, but being edged, and your pleasure being prioritized over his own. nice guys finish last — literally.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

your bedroom or his, that is it, full and complete stop. he’s a rule follower, and he’s not going to risk getting caught messing around in the showers or anywhere else. if you ever get a house of your own, though, then all bets will be off.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

it is so easy to get him going. pathetically easy. tell him that and see what happens. 

the smell of your perfume, you touching him anywhere other than like… his hands or his shoulder, and all the typical guy turn-ons. low cut / short / tight clothes, you bending over, getting too cuddly… you putting up your hair (Pavlovian response because you always tie it back before you go down on him). 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I’m so sorry, but he is just 100% vanilla bean ice cream to me (a poor analogy, since that happens to be my fave flavor lmao) anyway, he’s not doing anything wild, and not getting into anything too kinky. not hurting you, either — he has limits to how rough he’ll get, and he’s not going to hurt you in any way. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

he’d never gone down on anyone before you, so he wasn’t exactly sure what to do, but he got the hang of it quickly. our boy is a fast learner, and determined to be excellent at everything, so he spent some time ~studying~ (multiple nights in a row with his head between your legs, figuring it out). now he’s very good at it, and it’s a regular part of your activities. his beard feels nice on your thighs, too. and he likes when you play with his hair while he works.

baby boy is folding the moment you offer him head. he’s blushy and shy about it at first, saying that you don’t have to… but he realizes that fucking loves it. he’s out of breath in less than a minute, cheeks reddened and lips parted, gasping and panting because it’s just so fucking good. he lost his mind the first time you swallowed. 

he’ll never ask for head outright — he never really asks for any sexual favors, not wanting to pressure you (sweet boy) but you know how much he loves it, so you’re offering regularly if that’s something you’re into.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

usually a happy medium / steady pace. faster if you ask or if he’s stressed / wound up and just needs to get it out of his system. slower when you’re feeling soft and loving or after a scary experience, when you just want to be warm and safe with one another.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

ever-responsible, this one. he isn’t going to proposition you if you have somewhere to be in the next hour. you’re usually only getting down after dark or on days off.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

a little. maybe new positions, new movements, etc., but again, vanilla bean baby. he’s not going to risk anything that would hurt you or get either of you in trouble.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

again, responsible — he’s not tiring you two out when you have training in the morning, you need rest. so 1-2 rounds most nights and that’s that.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

leaning toward no. 🍦

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he’s not usually the one doing the teasing. it’s very fun to tease him and wind him up, knowing that he won’t do anything about it for hours, since he’s too responsible and by-the-book to pull you away to solve the problem you caused. but it is a good way to get him to be rougher with you when he finally has the time… 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

he tries to keep the volume down despite putting up a sound shield every time. makes the prettiest moans and cute little gasps though, especially when you’re on your knees for him. you should tell him how much you love hearing them. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

at the start of your relationship, he was incredibly sensitive. he wasn’t used to being touched intimately — I don’t mean in a sexual sense, but in an intimate cuddly sense, especially his sides / waist and his thighs, places people don’t really touch casually. he got used to it eventually, but it was (and still is) fun to lay a hand on his leg under the table and feel him squirm — not in an uncomfortable way, but in a sensitive, oh-gods-this-is-happening-be-cool kind of way. very cute. (I have 1k so far of him working on getting over his shyness about Love touching him… that’ll be fun.)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

he’s pretty lean and muscular, but not super ripped; he still has a little softness to him. nice to cuddle with.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

average, or a bit below average? he’s not super horny all the time, and he’s a pretty practical, first-things-first kind of guy, who is going to complete all of his responsibilities first before he lets himself have any fun. you might have to drag him away from his paperwork / studies and into bed once in a while. he might protest at first, but he’ll stop complaining as soon as you kiss him and rub your hands over his shoulders to release all that stress…

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

the aforementioned aftercare routine must be completed first 90% of the time. the other 10, you’re too exhausted and just fall asleep then and there — he’ll change the sheets in the morning after you shower. 

he becomes a cuddler after a while, wanting to have you close to him even after you’d just been very close to each other for the last half hour. he not-so-secretly likes being the little spoon sometimes, or resting his head on your chest and you holding him, playing with his hair. being close to you makes him feel safe, so he’ll fall asleep pretty quickly. 

[lust4life01]

hi! can i req a makeup sex fic with det loki? maybe after he upsets reader or something? thank yousm 💋❤️

Hello my love!!💘 absolutely loving this request, thank youuu <3

Crying while I’m cumin.

Warnings: Slight angst, possessive Loki, fighting, smut, oral fem receiving, penetrating sex, makeup sex. 18+!!

Pairing: David Loki x f/reader

——————————— ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹🍒——————————

The light in your bathroom flickered as you stood in front of the mirror, mascara running down your face as your red eyes focused on yourself. Starring, hoping to find something in the piercing reflection. Snapping out of it, you sniffed and ran your fingers through your hair, maybe trying to make yourself look better as a way to feel better. The overwhelming feeling of anger and fragility pulsing through your chest.

Loki had gotten home in a foul mood today, work had clearly taken it’s toll on him. So when you met him at the door dressed up nicely with your hair and makeup done, clutch in hand, his brows immediately furrowed whilst displaying a face of irritation and distaste. After the day he has he just wanted you to himself. He wanted you to sit against his chest whilst he let out his frustration, but here you were clearly ready for a night of mayhem, without him. At some dinner where he wouldn’t be present as other guys eyes stuck to you like glue. God why were other people taking up your time in this moment and not him?

You greeted him sweetly at the door, looking like a star. “Hey baby! How was work?”

With a face full of confusion and his thick brows knitted, he ignored you and immediately started to scan his eyes up and down you.

“What’s with, this?” he asked, his voice monotone as he motioned his hands up and down your body.

When you explained you were off to grab a drink with a colleague he practically exploded.

He started berating you about how you could have asked him if you could go, which filled you with an unexpected rage. If you were completely honest, you didn’t really want to go anyway. It was your friend who had begged you to come along. However, now that Loki had started to demand you ask for permission and had raised his voice with possession possessing him, the sheer audacity of him made you wanted to jump out of the window and be there as quickly as you could. You argued that you were a grown fucking woman and no one, not even him, was gonna dictate your life. Inevitability this led to huge row from your defensive outraged state and his tired possessive character.

And that’s how you ended up locked in the dim bathroom with just the sound of your sniffles and the taste of your salty tears grazing your plump pink lip. Now, you actually really didn’t want to go out. Your makeup was now smudged and you would have just been a buzz kill. As you sat and the toilet and texted your colleagues that you couldn’t make it, with some bullshit excuse of getting your period and wanted to stay in bed, you heard two light taps on the bathroom door.

A drained but soft and guilty voice followed.

“(Y,n) Baby I-. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being such a jackass, of course you can go out whenever you want. I don’t know I-.” He took a big defeated sigh before he continued.

“I just had a really shitty day and I wanted to be with you, I guess. Not that that excuses raising my voice at you. Fuck, baby I’m so sorry.” His voice shifts into a softer more genuine tone as he continues, almost like he’s on the verge of tears himself “please. open the door, yeah?”

You sit up from the toilet lid and gently walk over to the door, placing your hands on the knob, debating whether you should unlock it. Tired of fighting and crying you just wanted it to be over.

A streak of rage still flowed through you though, but the overwhelming sadness and need for comfort took over you. As the sounds of the lock and knob being moved filled the silence of your response, Loki immediately stood up from his crouched position.

As the door swung open, you stood peering down at you feet, whilst his larger frame stood before you, almost instantly his eyes checked yours. Seeing the smudged makeup and the obvious signs that you had been crying made his stomach ache with guilty. Like he was looking at a lost puppy he had just chucked on the side of the road in a cardboard box as the rain melted it away.

The warm feeling of two big palms clutching your face, which was also red and warm from the previous passionate tears, could be felt immediately as the door opened.

“Fuck. Baby, I’m so so fucking sorry. (Y,n) can you look at me, please?” His face was so fixated on yours, desperately searching for an ounce of forgiveness on your face.

The red puffy eyes smudged with makeup finally made the way to his sympathetic guilty eyes. “Look, it’s fine David. I should have at least told you before you got home, and I kinda didn’t really want to go anyway.”

Those words that fell from your sullen tired voice, both stung and gave Loki a sense of relief. The dreaded fear of being responsible for ruining your night was present, yet also now he could have you all to himself.

“Are you sure baby? You look so pretty, and I was just being an ass.” His eyes desperately scanned yours, yearning for forgiveness.

You touched your forehead to his whilst simultaneously nodding your head. The closest became amplified when Loki’s lips slowly moved down to yours, which reciprocated his kiss.

The pair of your intertwined lips grew stronger, passion taking over as you got a small head rush. Loki hands supported you as he lifted you onto his waist, carrying you down to the bedroom.

As soon as your head hit the pillow, Loki was on top of you. The secure feeling of his lips gracing yours came first and the soft cussioned kisses along your collar bone and chest shortly followed. The only sound in the room was your heavy breathing and the sound of Lokis lips meeting your soft skin. There was a comfortable silent. A silence that spoke so loud, it amplified the comfort and forgiveness that hung around as your two bodies collided.

Loki slowly took off your heals, letting them drop off the end of the bed and pulled down your pretty dress as his eyes failed to leave yours. His eyes searched yours for permission, which they quickly found as you pierced your plump lip and nodded your head lightly.

Once all of your clothes had been discarded, Loki continued to pepper sorry kisses along your stomach and the top of yours thighs, occasionally lightly groaning to highlight his admiration for you.

Through a quiet whimper you practically begged Loki to get on with it, the small touches becoming torturous “David, please.”

That was all you had to say to have him inbetween your thighs. Loki pressed a kiss to your clit before his tongue made its way through your folds. He made sure to take his time and to make sure there wasn’t an ounce of pleasure you hadn’t received. As his touched swirled around your clit your hole pulsated. You whined out, desperate to feel him inside of you.

Loki could feel the tightness of his roots being pulled stronger as you moaned lightly above him. The urge to just be inside you grew stronger, he yearned to be so close to you.

“You want me inside you baby?” His tongue was back on your clit before you could even answer.

Through a desperate whine you complied with his request. “Yes. Please David, need to feel you.”

As soon as he heard your answer he collected your wetness along his raging hard on before resting in front of your entrance.

Taking your hand in his big palm and kissing your neck passionately, he slowly entered you. The stretch of him was so delicious, the fullness he made you feel made your heart pound. Just as his lips made their way to the spot on your neck just below your ear, he started to thrust into you so the intensity of your pleasure was easily accessible to his ears.

His thrust became harder and deeper, the extent of your close proximity only created more passion. He took the time to worship your chest, licking and sucking on your nipples as his thrust continued, until you beckoned him up to your own lips. This intimacy he so desperately craved was what led to your fight, so he was going to the fullest extent to maximise your mural pleasure. As euphoric moans slipping into his mouth from yours he could tell you were close.

The sensation of two large fingers circulating your clit nearly sent you to heaven. Your chest heaved as he continued his deep thrusts and put pressure on your clit, which eventually ended with your head thrown back, chants of his name, and the feeling of your pussy gushing around him. There were tears in your eyes as you came, quickly followed by groans from David as he also came hard. His hot cum rested inside of you as he panted in front of your face.

The dark room now filled with the sounds of shallow breathing as you both came down from your orgasms. Grabbing his jaw, you brought your lips together again until he gently pulled out from you as you let out a small hiss from the loss of contact.

Rolling over to the space on the bed next you, he pulled you into his arms tightly. Skin to skin.

He kissed your head and muttered “I love you. I’m sorry.”

You whispered into his ear “I love you too. I’m also sorry.”

A moment of comfortable silence passed until you spoke once again.

“So, your day. You want to talk about it?”

Loki had never been much of a talker. He’s more of a guy who bottles shit up or drinks some strong whiskey as a cure for the awful day. Until he met you. You emphasised the importance of talking stuff out, and he knew how much it went to you when he let you in.

Letting a small sigh he gently stroked your head. “Yeah. Okay.”

——————————————————————————-

Ahhh hope you enjoy!! This was kinda rushed and not proof read but very fun to write 💘🙈

[tilly-tilly-2827]

Interventions & Interventions

Reimagining An Offer from a Gentleman #7

Synopsis: A year ago, Sophie would have scoffed if someone had told her that she would be married to Benedict Bridgerton. A year ago, if someone had told her that she would be welcoming a child, Sophie would have thrown herself off a cliff. But now, she doesn’t have to be afraid of anything. The love of her life is right by her side. Everything was going well, wasn’t it? Or, the little drabble of Benophies going through the early days of Sophie’s pregnancy.

AO3 post from here!

The half-read novel forgotten on her lap, Sophie couldn’t help leaping up from the window-side chaise as she finally saw the carriage coming up the road. Yes, she had been staring through the window for about an hour, Benedict had told her in his letters from London that he would be home before noon. Although it puzzled her that not one, but two carriages stopped in front of the gate, she found herself rushing to the door, despite Mrs. Crabtree’s yelps. “Mrs. Bridgerton, Mrs. Radcliff told you complete bed rest was required…”

“Terrorizing Mrs. Crabtree again, my love?”

“Benedict!”

And Sophie was in the warm arms of her adoring husband once again, the familiar smell of sandalwood and soap filling up the emptiness that had plagued her during his absence. Feeling a soft kiss on her forehead, Sophie snuggled on his chest adoringly, his turquoise cravat tickling the edge of her nose.

“I missed you,”

“But I missed you more,”

Looking up to his evergreen eyes, Benedict kissed her lips softly, his hands cupping her cheeks. Sophie diligently opened her lips, feeling him tickling the corner of her mouth, and just as her hands moved to the back of his neck to kiss him more, tasting the sweetness of his lips, the two heard a rather loud cough from the sitting room.

“Ah! Mrs. Crabtree! Delightful to see you again as well!”

Benedict's voice was rather high-pitched as he expertly positioned Sophie in front of him. Sophie blushed, noticing that Benedict was subtly concealing a slight bulge in his trousers that had begun to appear.

“Welcome home, Mr. Bridgerton.” Mrs. Crabtree bobbed a little curtsy, “Should I get the tea ready for you? Mrs. Bridgerton should be back on her rest…”

“Thank you, Mrs. Crabtree,” Benedict replied as Sophie deepened her blush, feeling Benedict’s hands softly caress her behind, “But I’m afraid there is an urgent errand for me upstairs…”

But Benedict’s words were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Mr. Bridgerton? May we come in?”

Mrs.Crabtree saw Benedict’s eyes light up, almost like a little child on a Christmas morning.

“Oh, sorry to keep you waiting, gentlemen! Come in, come in!”

“Sophie, you are going to love this,” Benedict whispered to her excitedly as he opened the door. Sophie’s mouth hung open as she saw five men standing; the two holding a wooden cradle frame, one holding a white mattress and a roll of beautiful botanical wallpaper. One had a handsome rocking horse in his arms, trimmed with rich, white manes. The last man was quite sweating, overwhelmed by the size and the weight of the splendid chest he barely managed to hold.

“There is more,” Benedict was grinning ear to ear as he pointed to the carriage outside, “Please, please come on up gentlemen. Upstairs, the room to the right, with the flower craving on the door. And would you carry the boxes in the sitting room?”

Sophie and Mrs. Crabtree could only stand there gaping, as the men carried mountains of furniture, toys, socks, and blankets to the nursery. Sophie was beginning to feel pain in her head as she saw colorful boxes being carried from the second coach, presumably bonnets, scarves, and dresses he had bought from Madam Delacroix.

Sophie loved her husband, she truly did from the depth of her heart. But as she began the blissful marriage with Benedict Bridgerton, the utter differences in perception of money became her constant anxiety. With most of her life in service, it was difficult to understand how Benedict splurged on extravagance and wealth, spending his money as if he had abysmal wealth. Or at least, in her eyes. In his eyes, it was never “splurge” or “extravagance”; he would call it “necessary expenses”. He wholeheartedly felt that way, and Sophie knew Benedict would never be considered a spendthrift inside the ton. But why would Benedict need a new waistcoat when he had 46 in the closet? Half a year ago, she had struggled to buy a new pair of gloves, even though she needed them desperately. Now, Benedict would buy her a diamond necklace if she had even looked at it for more than five seconds. (Sophie had to beg him not to, Daphne looking at Sophie with a puzzled look as Sophie desperately tugged his arms away from the jewelry shop. It had been their first mild argument as a married couple.)

Sophie had hesitantly shared her thoughts about his financial tendencies, and Benedict immediately went down on his knees and apologized, promising he would be more careful. But, his reason or sanity tended to fly out of the window when it came to his child. His baby.

Sophie knew how much the baby meant for him. His elder brother was already blessed with two sons. Daphne already had four children of her own, and Colin had just welcomed the adorable Agatha just a year ago. How Benedict gently cradled his niece in his arms with adoring eyes, Sophie knew that even before she could even imagine he would be her husband, he was going to be a wonderful father.

Benedict had burst into tears of joy when Sophie had timidly told him of her pregnancy, sobbing in her arms for a solid hour. Sophie had softly run her fingers through his curls as Benedict sniffed his nose and promised her he would be there for her every step.

Benedict Bridgerton faithfully kept his word. In every session with Dr. White, he was with her, his hand on hers. He rubbed her back as she reversed every bit of substance in her stomach in a chamber pot, running around the house for a napkin and a glass of water. He would fill the kitchen cupboards with pears and green apples; he even ditched on chicken and beef from the house when he learned that the burning smell was leaving her in torture. He would massage her terribly swollen toes, and Sophie would doze off on the couch in his studio, and Benedict would sketch her, gently waking her up only when Mrs. Crabtree called the two for supper. Benedict was in her every step; in her walks, study, meals, bed, and even baths. Truly, the most considerate husband she could ever wish for. Wasn’t he?

Thus, Sophie felt rather guilty when she felt relief receiving a letter from Sir Henry Granville, asking Benedict to come to London. Lord Wellington had seen his work in the summer exhibition at the Royal Academy and had asked Sir Granville if he could meet the young artist in person.

“Oh, Benedict, how splendid!” Wapping her arms around his neck, Sophie pestered him with kisses, “You once told me Lord Wellington is a patron to many artists! Oh, Benedict, he sees the potential in you,”

“I’m not going.”

“… Whatever do you mean?”

Benedict gently led her to the chaise, making her take a seat. Kneeling himself on the floor, Benedict softly placed his hands on the baby bump that had begun to show several months ago. A gentle roundness on her belly. They both smiled when they felt the baby give a small kick; it was no longer a flutter but a gentle nudge, almost as if the baby was stretching his legs to meet his father.

“My love, I’ll be fine on my own.”

“But I promised that I’ll be by your side in every step,”

Sophie took his hand, placing a small kiss on his fingertips.

“You have already done so much for me, love.”

“But”

“And the baby wouldn’t come out for months, Benedict. You heard Doctor White tell us several months ago that I’m stable now.”

“Sophie,”

“Go to London. Benedict. For me.” Sophie gently caressed his soft brown curls. “I know how much you wished for this,”

Benedict buried his face in her knees, his hands still firmly placed on the bump. Sophie continued to stroke his curls, her fingertips tickling the edge of his ears.

“Two days, Sophie. I’ll be back in two days.”

“Your letters said three weeks, Ben.”

“Three days, then.”

“Benedict, the baby isn’t going to disappear or fly away! I’m planning to keep a close watch,”

“Aren’t you going to miss me, dear wife?”

Sophie averted her gaze, blushing, as Benedict looked up at her with a slight tease. Taking a deep breath, Sophie gently tugged his shirt by the collar and lightly placed her lips on his.

“A week then,” She murmured against his lips, “Can’t let the baby forget Papa’s voice,”

“A week it is,” Benedict replied with a deeper kiss. “And did you just call me Papa?”

Sophie ignored his question, moving her focus to undoing Benedict’s buttons. But when she finished the last one, Sophie cupped his face between her hands, staring firmly into his charming eyes.

“No gifts, Ben”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” and he gently flopped off Sophie’s hand-knitted slippers, moving his lips on her toes.

And Benedict had kept his word. After giving a pair of new boots to Mr.Crabtree and a bottle of rose water to Mrs. Crabtree, Benedict took Sophie’s hand, leading her to the nursery, already rambling on about the purchase he had made with his mother in London. However, Mrs. Crabtree swiftly intervened, saying that Sophie needed immediate rest.

“Why so, Mrs. Crabtree?” With a slight tilt, he asked, “She looks perfectly healthy to me,”

With a firm, yet motherly glare from Mrs. Crabtree, Sophie knew that she had to tell Benedict of the fever she had a few days earlier, and the village midwife had instructed her to stay in bed for a few weeks. Sophie could see the color draining from his face as she hastily rushed through the story.

“I never should have left,”

“Benedict, there is nothing to worry about. The fever broke out in a few days…”

“Few days?” Benedict arched his eyebrows. “Sophie, I know enough it’s not a good sign for the baby. Why aren’t you in bed?”

“Mrs. Bridgerton wanted to greet you as soon as possible,” Mrs. Crabtree added gently from the corner, seeing Sophie’s lips quiver. “Mr. Bridgerton, why don’t take Mrs. Bridgerton up to the bed? I’ll prepare a tea for two upstairs…”

“Why didn’t you write to me, Sophie? “ Benedict carried her up the stairs and tucked her under the covers despite Sophie’s weak protests. His tone was quiet, but Sophie noticed a touch of sadness, “I would have left London in a second,”

“It wasn’t so high of a fever, Benedict,” Sophie gave a soft sigh, Benedict putting an extra blanket on the covers, “I didn’t want to interrupt your work. You told me that you were meeting Lord Wellington on Wednesday,”

Kneeling himself on her bedside, Benedict took her hand, holding it tightly.

“Nothing is more important than the health of you and the baby, Sophie. Not even Lord Wellington or the bloody paintings,”

“Did Lord Wellington ask you for a landscape painting?”

Benedict’s eyes widened.

“How did you know? I was planning to surprise you,”

“Your eyes and tone convey more than you think,” Sophie smiled, placing a hand on his cheeks, “Congratulations Benedict. I couldn’t be more proud,”

But as Sophie pulled herself up for a kiss, Benedict quickly stood up, awkwardly moving to the foot of the bed.

“You need rest, Sophie,”

“Benedict, I’ve been resting for four days, and I remember you saying that I looked perfectly fine.”

“But,”

“Tell me about London,” Sophie said, smoothing out the silk covers, “I’ll be here in bed, resting, as Mrs. Radcliff had told me. Please talk to me, love. How was Sir Granville? What did Lord Wellington say about your paintings? ”

Benedict still looked concerned, his brows knitted into a worrisome frown.

“Aren’t you going to show me what you brought for the baby?”

Benedict burst out of the room in a second, and as Sophie laughed merrily, he was soon back with his arm full, placing the little blankets, wooden trinkets, and tiny knitted socks on the white covers. Sitting cross-legged on the covers, Benedict explained every purchase with so much enthusiasm, his eyes sparkling like spring meadows. As Sophie softly traced the botanical patterns on the wallpaper, Benedict told her that it was imported from Italy, hand-painted by a craftsman. He had also told her excitedly that the cradle was made with the same cherry tree as Miles’ and Edmund’s.

“I might have gone overboard,” Benedict chuckled to himself, scratching his head as he took a small pair of black shoes from the box. “But Mother seemed ecstatic about welcoming a new grandchild as well…”

“No, Benedict this is absolutely beautiful.” Sophie tried to keep her tone bright and cheerful, “Oh, Benedict, the baby isn’t born yet, and he’s already the happiest in the world…”

“What about you?”

“What?”

“Are you angry that I spent too much?”

“No, no, no.” Sophie stuttered, “It’s necessary expenses, Benedict. And I love every item you bought, truly…”

“Then what’s on your mind?” Benedict softly traced the outline of her face, “I’ll pay a grand for your thoughts.”

Sophie laughed, “My thoughts are worth less than a penny, Love.”

“Well, I beg to differ, but tell me,”

Sophie stared at her hangnail, the edge of her left middle finger slightly swollen. With her right hand, she wrapped her finger, feeling a sharp pain as she tightened her grip.

“I should be the one doing this,” Sophie sighed, not quite looking at his eyes, “Ordering the cradle, the blankets, the napkins, the bottles, everything. When you should be focusing on your paintings, Benedict. A few weeks ago, Mrs. Crabtree asked me if I wanted to go to the village to order, but I thought it would be too early…”

“Sophie,”

“And my mind didn’t even go to the nursery, Benedict! The decorations, the wallpaper, the toys, I couldn’t even think about the decorations. I’m already a terrible mother…”

“Breath, Sophie, breath.” Benedict softly moved up to the bed, he plopped himself next to his wife, resting his back on the headboard. “You’re not a terrible mother, Sophie.”

“But,”

“When I first went to Sir Granville’s, I didn’t even know how to set up the easel. I didn’t know where to buy the right paint, and it took years to notice that I was being overcharged.”

“Really?” A small smile crept up on Sophie’s lips, and Benedict felt a bit of relief; he knew that Sophie was on the verge of tears.

“Truly,” Benedict kissed her forehead, “Nobody starts as an expert, Sophie.”

“Yet you are already a perfect father,”

“I’m far from perfection, Sophie. I had siblings, to make me experienced and bestow me with their knowledge. All the things I bought from London? All Mother and Kate.”

���Benedict, are you telling me lies to make me feel better?”

“Is it working?”

With a crooked smile, he peered into his wife’s eyes, and Sophie giggled in response, resting her head on his broad shoulders.

“And you’ve already done a splendid job of raising the little one inside you! I can’t imagine how hard the change must be.” He continued, rubbing her belly affectionately. “Focus on the health of you and the baby, Sophie. Leave me to worry about everything else.”

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” Sophie softly pinched his cheeks, playfully tugging his skin. “Sometimes I can not believe if you are even real,”

“It would be quite a tragedy if this was all a dream.” Benedict laughed, “I would willingly drink a bottle of poison to keep me in this wonderful dream,”

“But, Benedict.”

Ah, the Benedict in b flat.

“Mmm?”

“The dresses you bought from Madam Delacroix?”

“Oh, she already kept your measurements from the wedding…”

“I’m never going to fit in them, Benedict.”

Damm, Benedict cursed under his breath. He finally understood why Genevieve was so reluctant to sell them, and why she repeatedly kept asking for the new measurements. “I know my wife,” Benedict had told Geneville rather impatiently, “She was beautiful in my shirt and breeches, I’m sure she will look splendid any dress…”

"Don't worry about those dresses, love. We can always have Madam Delacroix adjust them as needed.”

“And pay another grand for just the adjustments?”

“… Necessary expenses?” Benedict suddenly felt the need to switch the topic, “Now why don't you get some rest while I start setting up these toys for our little one?"

Sophie knew his transparently obvious tactic, but with the comfortable warmth of her husband, and his tone filled with gentle reassurance, she found herself too tired to start an argument. With a soft smile, Sophie nodded, watching as Benedict started to fiddle with the wooden toys. As she drifted off to sleep against his shoulders, she could hear the soft hum of Benedict's voice, whispering promises and dreams to their unborn child.

------------------------------------------------

Violet had been rather startled, receiving a letter from her second son, begging her to visit him and his wife at Wiltshire. Benedict had been in London just two weeks ago, dragging her to every street of London for baby supplies, and even Violet herself had been exhausted by all the shopping. The baby wasn’t due in a few months, but as she got to the end of the letter, telling her about Sophie’s declining health, she quickly packed her bags. It was a relief that Hyacinth was visiting her sister in Scotland, and Eloise had not even dropped a word of sarcasm as the two rushed into the carriage.

But Violet noticed that Benedict didn’t exactly tell her the truth when the two arrived at Wiltshire. As Benedict had written, Sophie did look rather feverish, her cheeks awfully crimson, and she was at least several stones thinner, despite the huge swell on her belly. She did not look well, but not as terrible as Benedict had explained in his letters. Sophie, although still in bed, had greeted the two with a smile, apologizing for how she wasn’t able to welcome them at the door.

“Do not worry, my dearest. I’m more worried about your weight, my dear, have you been eating enough?”

“I have been trying, but my stomach seems to be rejecting everything…,”

“I bought plums which saved Daphne from starvation, Sophie, and this oatmeal is said to be more nutritious than the regular ones…”

For a week, Violet diligently cared for Sophie, overseeing her meals with Mrs. Crabtree. Whether it was the oatmeal brought from London or the new jugs of milk from Mrs. Crabtree’s sister, they weren't sure, but Sophie seemed to be regaining her strength day by day. When Sophie's fever finally broke, Benedict, Eloise, Violet, Mrs. Crabtree, and Mr.Crabtree all breathed a sigh of relief. Dr. White also finally smiled with satisfaction, declaring that she could leave the bed.

Unlike Benedict, who had leaped from his chair and was beginning to pester Sophie with kisses despite Eloise’s eye roll, Violet noticed that the dark shade of worry and fear didn’t leave Sophie’s deep forest eyes with Dr. White’s words.

For another week, Violet had promised to stay in Wiltshire, to keep an eye on Sophie’s condition. Violet silently observed her second son flocking around his very pregnant wife every second, simultaneously preparing for the arrival of their baby, painting the nursery, assembling the crib, and even knitting tiny socks. Violet was quite amazed by the wall painting Benedict was working on in the nursery, a cherry blossom that spread across the wall, adding violets and hyacinths on its foot.

But what mildly concerned her was how Sophie never seemed to actively touch what Benedict had bought from London, or what Benedict had assembled or made for the baby. Yes, she would smile and giggle as Benedict playfully smudged the Castleon green paint on her cheeks and her rounded belly, and her constant worried gaze would soften as she looked at Benedict, reaching out his arms to tenderly stroke her roundness.

But when Violet surprised Sophie with the baby blanket she had done tulip embroideries on the hems, Sophie’s fingers were shaking, almost as if she were afraid of breaking the soft material. And at that moment, Violet finally understood why her loving son had desperately begged her to come to their newlywed home.

It was the last night of their stay in Wiltshire, their bags already packed and placed ready on the doorsteps for the carriage tomorrow morning. The two were alone in the drawing room, the fire cracking peacefully in the fireplace. The warm light was enough to see the small tremble on Sophie’s thin lips.

“This is beautiful, Violet. I don’t know how I could thank you for everything…” Despite her shaking hands, there was a smile plastered on Sophie’s face, her fingers carefully tracing the red petals.

“No need to thank me, Sophie.” Violet gently said, “I have done everyone for my grandchildren, and there is no reason to leave this little one out,”

Thank you, thank you, Violet saw Sophie mouth the words of gratitude several times.

“May I?”

“Oh yes, please,”

Gently stroking Sophie’s belly, Violet felt a warm flutter as she sensed a firm kick, remembering her first days of pregnancy, and the bright smile Edmund showed when he first felt the presence of a new life.

“So eager to meet his Mama,” Violet smiled as Sophie’s belly tumbled again. “As a former vessel to the Bridgertons, I am afraid to tell you that he might resemble his Papa more.”

For the first time Violet had seen her in weeks, Sophie laughed, a bright cracking laughter that vibrated merrily in the room.

“I believe so,” Sophie replied, gently caressing her roundness. “He is going to have Benedict’s curls and his nose,”

“But he will have your eyes, Sophie.”

Sophie smiled, imagining for the first time, the little bundle of joy cradled in her arms, the little version of her loving husband. Perhaps he would flutter his long eyelashes, dazed by the soft sunlight, or reach out his little hands to wrap his hand around her fingers. Or he might cry out a little, wailing for his mama,

“Do you think I will ever be able to meet him?”

“The baby?”

Sophie nodded, her eyes still placed on her belly.

“Oh don’t be silly, Sophie. Of course, you’ll meet your baby. In three months time my dear…”

“My mother never got to see me,”

Violet’s hands on the teacup froze.

“Or at least, that was what I was told.” Sophie’s tone was oddly flat, as if she were trying to repress any emotion, “That when I came out, there was too much blood and she had already passed away,”

“Oh, Sophie,”

“I’m not afraid of dying,” Sophie continued, smiling weakly, “I’ve already had such a blissful life,”

“Don’t say that Sophie, you are still two-and-twenty,”

“My Mother gave birth to me when she was much younger,”

Violet found herself at a loss of words. How lucky she was, to have given birth to eight children, and she knew she had been blessed by god for surviving each one. But she also knew many mothers left the world without ever feeling the warmth of their newborn child. Maria Beckett, whom Violet had never met, had been one of those mothers.

“I don’t fear leaving this world, Violet. Because I know for sure that Benedict would love and adore the baby no matter what. He would love the baby twice as much, for the amount that I wouldn’t be able to deliver,”

“Sophia,”

“And your son is the most charming man,” Sophie’s smile grew even bigger, but Violet saw the corner of her lips trembling, “Far, far, better a man than I should deserve. He would have no trouble finding a new mother for the baby, someone much more suitable than myself,”

“No, Sophia,” Shaking her head, Violet took Sophie’s trembling hands, firmly holding her hand in hers. Violet felt the roughness of her hands, the skin harder, coarser than any hand she had ever held. “I will tell you a million times how lucky my son is to have you as his wife, no matter how much you deny it.”

Sophie tried to raise the corner of her lips.

“Thank you, Lady Bridgerton,”

“Violet, Sophie.”

“Thank you, Violet.”

The two silently looked at the small fire in the fireplace, the flickers of sparks crackling in the darkness. Violet heard Sophie take a deep breath, almost as if she was letting down a big piece of luggage from her shoulders.

“But, what fears me the most,” Sophie continued slowly, but her voice was shaking, her breath was short and breathless, “Is if I can’t give Benedict his baby.”

“Oh, Sophie,”

“I still have three months to go, and I know that my body isn’t catching up,”

Tears were running down Sophie’s crimson cheeks, her shoulders shaking, her lips trembling. Violet gently took her daughter in her arms, rubbing the back of her delicate shoulders.

“Sophie,”

“And when the time comes, when he has to choose between me and the baby,” Sophie broke out into a sob, “I know that he’s going to choose me before the baby. After years and years of wanting a baby, after months and months of preparing, all his time, money, and effort wasted, ”

Her words were bearly audible between sobs and tears,

“I hear him, humming lullabies in his sleep, with so much love and anticipation. He’s already a father, mother, and it breaks my heart if I can’t give him what he wished for years, that I’m going to leave him devastated,”

I promise you and the baby will both be perfectly fine, those exact words almost slipped, but she stopped herself, knowing the gravity and the reality of Sophie’s fears. Violet noticed that she couldn’t find the right words for the poor girl who was crying and crying in her arms, the eight childbirths she had experienced weren’t enough, the depth of her fear, Violet noticed, was far deeper than she had imagined.

“Benedict had a swing set up in the gardens several weeks back. Violet, he was so happy and excited, saying that it was the same as the one he had in Bridgerton House.”

“Sophie, I am so sorry,”

“And I wanted to be happy, Lady Bridgerton. Tell Benedict that it would be lovely if the baby could share moments on the swings with his siblings, just like with Ms. Eloise. But I couldn’t say anything, because I’m so afraid that I’ll disappoint him so miserably,”

“Oh, I love him so, Lady Bridgerton.” Sophie sobbed in her arms, “And I’m so ashamed of myself that I can’t appreciate the love that he’s given me so much, I’m ashamed of myself that I’m so afraid of his love,”

From Violet’s eyes, Sophie had always been an honest, honorable young lady, with an innate sense of kindness. But Violet suddenly saw a little girl with blond curls and almond eyes, crying herself to sleep, shivering with fear and loneliness.

Violet knew Benedict always slept in a warm bed along with his brothers, and he never slept without a bedtime story and would beg her to cuddle him even when Violet had to leave to nurse Colin. For Violet, it had been one of the happiest moments of her life, gently stoking Benedict’s chubby cheeks, who looked so breathtakingly like his father, snoring happily as she left a soft kiss on his forehead.

But Sophie had no one to listen to her, even if she feared the monster under her bed. With no one to tuck her in bed, no one to tell her a bedtime story, no one to leave her with a goodnight kiss.

But suddenly she had someone who would listen to her every word. Who would delight in her beauty, who would honor her being in his deeds and words. Who would curl her in blankets and leave her with a sweet kiss. When she spent a lifetime alone and abused because of her mere existence.

Of course, she should feel afraid,

“There is nothing wrong about feeling afraid, Sophie,” Violet said calmly, gently stroking her blond curls as Sophie continued to weep in her arms, almost breathless from her tears. “There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, my dearest.”

“Love can be difficult, my dear. Loving someone, you risk the hurt, the pain…the loss. Of course, you would feel afraid Sophie, because you are risking your body and soul to something that is far above your control. Fear is a quintessential part of love.”

“But perhaps,” Violet smiled, softly wiping the tears from her daughter’s cheeks. “you can trust Benedict a little more. Trust the love you have for one another. My son loves you dearly, and I love you dearly, with or without the baby. The two of you have already been through so much, and you both take so much care of the love you share. Those kinds of love grow and thrive, Sophie. It doesn’t wither after a fire. It doesn’t disappear after a storm. Because the love you two have, has strength to overcome them,”

“Allow yourself to have faith in your love, my dearest,”

“And you will be surprised how powerful it can be,”

--------------------------------------------------

“Eloise Bridgerton.”

Eloise froze for a brief second, the strict stern voice sending a sharp shiver down her spine. But seeing the floral vest and a teasing smirk in the corner of her eyes, she hastily returned the cigarette between her lips, feeling the nicotine deep in her veins.

“This swing is exactly the same as the one on Bridgerton House, isn’t it?”

“I had it made just several weeks ago,”

“So your daughters and sons can smoke behind their mother’s backs?”

Benedict scoffed, a wry smile on his face.

“Because,” He seated himself on the swing, gently rocking himself forward. “I thought my children could have chats like us,”

“Benedict, Sophie still has three months to deliver her baby. Isn’t it too early to be planning for more?”

“Please don’t tell Sophie,”

“You’ve already built a pair of swings, Benedict. And Sophie is one of the quickest women I have ever known,”

“Did I make a fool of myself again?”

“I believe you did.”

Benedict groaned, drilling his head into his knees. Eloise only laughed wholeheartedly, tapping his shoulder to offer him a cigarette, but she was quite surprised when he waved it off.

“You managed to quit?”

“Sophie doesn’t like the smell.”

“So perfect, aren’t you?”

But Eloise knew he was craving for one as his finger twitched. And as Eloise took another smoke, languorously blowing the Sidestream in Benedict’s face, he snatched the packet from her hands, lightening up a cigarette in practiced hands. Eloise crackled with laughter as Benedict gazed up at the sky in relief, his whole body relaxing with just one puff.

“Remind me to change before I go back,”

“Mmm.” Eloise only hummed in response.

The two smoked in silence, watching the shimmering stars in the night, and listening to the lonely tunes of the owls in the distance. Soon, the lonesome hoots were replaced by Benedict’s low hums, the nostalgic tune engraved in her childhood memories,

Lavender's blue, dilly, dilly, lavender's green,

When I am king, dilly, dilly, You shall be queen.

Who told you so, dilly, dilly, who told you so?

'Twas my own heart, dilly, dilly, that told me so.

Call up your men, dilly, dilly, set them to work

Some to the plough, dilly, dilly, some to the fork,

Some to make hay, dilly, dilly, some to cut corn,

While you and I, dilly, dilly, keep ourselves warm.

Lavender's green, dilly, dilly, Lavender's blue,

If you love me, dilly, dilly, I will love you.

Let the birds sing, dilly, dilly, And the lambs play;

We shall be safe, dilly, dilly, out of harm's way.

“So, happy, aren’t you?”

“Happier than ever, El.”

Eloise missed those quiet moments with Benedict. Truly. Eloise had told herself a million times that Benedict was happy with his new life in Wiltshire. That her brother didn’t miss his past life in London. That he’d rather protect life with his Sophie than to be in London close to his family. Throwing away the comfortable life in London. Throwing away their time together as siblings, throwing away their time on the swings, replacing her with new memories of Sophie and the baby. But Eloise knew deep in her heart that he would never have been happy if he had stayed in London. Without Sophie.

It was quite lonely to be at No.5 with only her mother and Hyacinth; who rather liked to do talking on her own. Benedict was the only sibling who truly listened and understood her, or at least she thought, and it was quite lonesome when he was miles and miles away when she wanted to talk with him desperately.

“Do you know why I don’t get married?” She said, abruptly.

“Because men are too inferior to match your superior mind?” Benedict teased her in a mocking tone, and Eloise had to crack a smile.

“Close, but I have other reasons as well,” Eloise said, “But do you promise not to tell Hyacinth? Or Anthony or Mother or anyone else?”

“I will swear an oath by my daughter’s name.”

“How could you ever know the sex of the baby?”

“I just know.” Benedict hummed happily, “Enlighten me, Eloise. The reason why you keep refusing every proposal.”

Eloise took a deep breath.

“I don’t want to get married because I want something that you have with Sophie. That kind of love and passion and drama. I want more than just, homes, estates, or hounds.”

“You have everything I desire in a relationship. The mutual love, respect, care, compassion. I’ve never seen the two of you quarrel like Kate and Anthony. Always so calm and relaxed.”

“Is that truly how we look like?”

“Mmm.”

“Were you ever a romanticist, Eloise?”

“Well you certainly made me one,” With dimmed eyes, Eloise dropped the ashes on the ground, “ I never believed in fairytales. I didn’t even believe in love, Benedict. Until it blossomed in front of my eyes,”

“It was beautiful, seeing how you fell in love with each other at No.5, despite living in two different worlds. You didn’t even hesitate to face the consequences, Benedict.”

“And you literally saved Sophie from death, brother. She could have been hanged if you weren’t there. You are Sophie’s shining knight of armor.”

Benedict gave a low laugh, blowing out smoke from his lungs, but Eloise continued,

“I pride myself on having read quite many books, but no story had been as romantic as yours. It’s almost as if it were right out of a fairytale.”

“Eloise,”

“What?”

“It’s not a fairytale.”

“Don’t you dare say that, brother. It’s quite a miracle the lady in silver happened to be the maid you saved from Cavender…”

“You can say that because you don’t know the full story, Eloise,”

And Benedict finally told the truth between Sophie and Benedict; that he had first asked her to be his mistress. And that Sophie had rejected his offer, and he had blackmailed her to come to London. But he did remove the part when he took Sophie’s virginity on the sofa. How much he loved and respected her; she was still his younger sister. But even without the most scandalous bits, Eloise’s crisp blue eyes dimmed and dimmed, her face crunching in disgust as she continued on with the story.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Eloise’s tone was laced with disgust and annoyance.

“Anthony stopped me,”

“Then why are you telling me now?”

“Because,” Benedict stopped for a second, a drop of hesitation, “I want my dear sister to know that love stories are not always perfect,”

“But it is,”

“I just said that I asked Sophie to be my mistress,”

“Yes, but you came to your bloody senses and married her in the end. And Sophie forgave your stupidity and kept loving you despite your awful behavior. Now carrying your child. It’s still a perfect story, Benedict. Happily Ever After!”

Benedict blatantly stared at his little sister, almost taken aback by her pure naivety. Almost as if she were trying to worship the perfect love story between Sophie and him. That, he knew, was far too dangerous. To romanticize an ugly reality.

“Sophie and I…yes, I’ll admit that it is a miracle that we are together, but El, we are far from perfect.”

“But you two are,”

“Do you know it took weeks for Sophie to tell me that she was pregnant?”

“What? Why would I know…,”

Benedict interrupted her words, breaking the one rule he always kept when he was talking with Eloise.

“I only realized that she was pregnant when Anthony and Kate subtly asked me if Sophie wanted to see the family doctor. And do you know what she said when I lightly asked why it took so long to tell me? She said it was “too soon to be sure.” But what did she think we were doing every night?”

“What were you doing every night?” A wave of panic hit his breath when Eloise’s sharp blue eyes stared at him with a look of innocence and utter curiosity.

“T, talking.” He managed to stutter, “B, bonding, I would rather say…”

“When is anyone ever going to tell me the bloody specifics?” Eloise muttered angrily, and Benedict thought it better to swiftly avert Eloise’s interests.

“Did I ever tell you that Sophie loathes my lavish expenditures?”

Just as he thought, Eloise’s eyes widened in surprise and a little bit of delight to hear their marital conflicts,

“But you never ravish money!”

“She had different views,” Benedict smiled weakly, “And I know I’ve upset her in some kind or other when she says my name in b flat.”

“Huh,”

“And do you know that I almost made her cry because of the baby supplies I brought in London?”

“I don’t understand Benedict. Why would that upset her? Shouldn’t she be pleased?”

“She thought she was an unworthy mother because she didn’t prepare them herself,”

“Then why didn’t she tell that before?”

“There are so many things she doesn’t tell me, Eloise.”

Eloise sank into silence, processing the aspect that she had never imagined in her brother’s perfect relationship. To Eloise’s eyes, they just seem so perfect, like they were born for each other,

“Has Sophie told you that she was afraid of dying?”

“WHAT?”

The cigarette dropped from Benedict’s fingers. There was genuine hurt and shock in Benedict’s voice, as he buried his head in his head yet again. The half-burned-out cigarette lay forgotten on the dirt. Eloise stretched her legs to snub out the last remaining flame.

“In her letters, she kept repeatedly writing about how she wanted me to visit My Cottage more; to take care of you and the baby. If she can’t make it through,”

Eloise tried not to look at a tear that dropped on Benedict’s worn-out yet perfectly mended brown boots.

“She didn’t exactly say that she was afraid of dying,” Eloise’s voice came out more like an excuse, seeing his brother shrunk and defalated second by second, “But she sounded so desperate in her letters, and her fear, was, well, implied…”

“I just knew something was troubling her but I should have known…”

“Is that you asked Mother to come?”

Benedict hitched his breath, his throat making an akward noise.

“Yes.”

“Because you can’t ask Sophie?”

“…Yes.”

“You’re a coward.”

“A little harsh, Eloise.”

Benedict finally looked up from his hands, but his green-grey eyes were wavering,

“I always want Sophie to tell me everything, but she tends to keep everything inside herself. I’ll ask, but she’ll answer it’s nothing. And if I push too much, she flees away.”

His tone was filled with guilt, almost as if everything was his fault.

“Why don’t you just ask her to just spit it all out? I always thought honesty and transparency is required in any form of union…”

“El. She had a difficult childhood. A traumatic upbringing. Much harder and gruesome than we could ever imagine.”

Eloise grimly nodded, remembering the time she encountered Araminta Gunningworth at the modiste after her brother’s marriage. The verbal slander she slashed on Posy was both alarming and horrendous, sending chills in her bones. Eloise was shocked at how it could be addressed to her very own daughter. And Sophie had been the bastard. Eloise shuddered, imagining the horrifying extent of Sophie’s destructive past.

“And no matter how hard I try…” Benedict’s words trailed off in the darkness. Eloise saw Benedict clench his fist, gripping the coarse ropes, “There are parts of Sophie I could never understand. Even how desperately I yearn to understand,”

“But I love her El. So ardently that it burns me to the core. And it kills me that I can’t take any pain, any burden for her. And I want to make it work, And I know she’s trying her best to make this, make us work.” Words were bursting, a flooding river on a stormy night, “And I feel terrible that I can’t understand everything about her…”

“But isn’t that everyone?” Eloise found herself saying, words nonconsciously slipping from her lips, “I never understood why Colin suddenly fell in love with Penelope when he had known her for years. I didn’t even know that they were in love even though I have known them for a lifetime, and I don’t understand why Fran married John when they just sat in silence, when she is practically my twin,”

“And I bet,” Eloise continued hesitantly, “Sophie doesn’t understand why you have to have 60 waistcoats in your closet.”

“It’s actually 48 now.”

“You threw them away?”

“I gave them away to the servants when I left London,”

“Sophie did really make you into a changed man, didn’t she?” Eloise muttered to herself, but, no, she still wasn’t finished with her point.”

“Anyway, I just want to say that nobody understands each other. Yet, you hold on to each other. You and Sophie. Despite your flaws. Despite Sophie’s flaws. So desperately and so adoringly. Isn’t that perfect enough?”

Eloise heard a lonely howl from the distance, perhaps a hound crying for its mate. Eloise can remember Benedict’s drunken slurs a year ago, whining about the memories of his Lady in Silver,

“You two are just too perfect.”

“Perhaps we are, Eloise. Like you say. Perfect.”

“Mmm.”

“But do you know why?”

“Why?”

“Because we know our imperfections.”

“What?”

“And we try our best dispite of it all.”

“I truly don’t understand what you are trying to say.”

“You will when you are older.”

“I hate you, Brother”

“And I love you too, Eloise.”

----------------------------------------------------

Just like I said, just like a bloody fairytale, Eloise thought to herself again as she watched the couple in the sitting room, snuggling together on a sofa. Her mother was knitting quietly beside the fireplace, a content smile on her lips.

Sophie perched on Benedict’s lap, excitedly showing the tulip-embroidered blanket her mother had given to her. Benedict stroking her golden locks, clinging to every word, looking at Sophie with the most adoring eyes.

No other word could explain the loving couple other than perfection. The honest, honorable wife and the absolutely besotted husband. There could be no secrets or conflicts between them, Eloise just knew.

Perhaps Benedict had lied to her about Sophie’s flaws or Sophie’s frustration with his habits. Perhaps Eloise had misread her letters, the ones she thought were dripping with fear and dread of death.

Because in Eloise’s eyes, Sophie was shining through the darkness, the glow in her whole presence, the lively, excited expression. There was no angst, no fear but just utter happiness and content between the two.

So, so, so bloody perfect,

#Writer’s Notes

“Love isn't something natural. Rather it requires discipline, concentration, patience, faith, and the overcoming of narcissism. It isn't a feeling, it is a practice.”

—Eric Fromm

“But if I know what love is, it is because of you.”

—Hermann Hesse