#but I’ve got to write the book
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the urge to not promote my book in any way except to post fanfic of it on ao3
#this is an unpublished and unfinished wip btw#but I used the characters for my writing meeting today#and I’m really invested in the AU actually#but I’ve got to write the book#and publish the book#and promote the book#I am a fandom of one here#(I mean…maybe two because my friend knows the rough plot)#(they also think I’m insane)#(which is valid)#fanfic writer#original writing#authors#writers on tumblr#ao3#writing struggles#writing memes
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A little 15 min doodle but first post of the year has to be Bingqiu!
#hoot art#ok its time to get mushy in the tags because I doubt anyone would read them too closely#I’ve had severe art block for YEARS before I got into danmei in 2024#and it wasn’t that my skill was gone it’s just that I thought nothing I did was good enough#I started reading danmei around the summer of last year and I got SO INSPIRED#I dived into the fandom side of things (I haven’t been in a live fandom in years) and was so excited about all the art people were making#and writing! and music! and animatics!#everything was so bright and colorful and beautiful#and everyone had such cool designs for these book characters that I’d grown to love#so I took a chance and doodled a little Luo Binghe and posted him on here#and I was so taken aback by how welcoming and sweet the fandom was#it made me wanna keep taking chances and posting my art— because I think that’s one of the hardest things I’ve come to accept#that even if it’s not good enough for me#someone else may enjoy it#and ain’t it crazy that ive come to enjoy drawing again too#sure the interaction has been fun but it’s been even more fun experimenting with my style and experimenting with colors and rendering#and grayscale and angles#and composition and expressions#ahh!! art is so fun!! I forgot how fun it was!!#I had forgotten how much I loved to draw!!#and the fandom— so many ideas are exchanged and I’ve met some of the loveliest people thru the sv fandom!#tgcf too but they’re a little less chill lmao#anyways#I’ve set up a little spot in the fandom and I plan to keep at it here it’s very nice and cozy and funny and warm#huge thanks to everyone for being so kind and welcoming#and an even bigger thanks to anyone who’s interacted with my art#I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that someone took the time out of their day to like/repost these silly little doodles I post#incredible. ok bye for now :)#svsss#bingqiu
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uhhh so the number four is associated with death in certain cultures, including japanese, which is fitting for the butcher’s son, yes but just remember neil was supposed to be number three and jean was supposed to be number four ,and in every draft but one jean dies. he is symbolically saved from that fate by dodging the number four (being given, instead, the number three which represents REBIRTH of all things - i made a whole post about that if ur curious) because it means he was never marked for death. so in this draft, where he’s number three, but was supposed to be number four, he comes so close to death - to the point where renee doesn’t know how he’s still alive - because he was supposed to die, doomed by the narrative, but that number three saves him. that number three represents resurrection, and so he doesn’t die like he was supposed to. because he’s not number four, he’s number three. he comes back. he transforms, he heals. he becomes number 29 (i will eventually make a post about jean and the 29)
neil, though, was marked for death. he had the number four tattooed on him, and he goes through his own narrative believing he will die by the end of it. his survival, however, is foreshadowed in the very moment neil thinks he’s about to die - when he is kidnapped. lola burns the number four - the signifier of death - off his face, leaving him scarred, yes, but not marked for death anymore. and so he lives. and guess what: the number 10 represents the start of a new chapter, that one cycle is coming to an end and a new life is starting, one that you’ve worked hard for. so for the number four to be burned off of neil, that tells us neil is going to live. and when neil becomes neil legally, he settles into the number 10 properly. and his new life begins.
#god this was difficult to write bc i have so much more to say about this but i just can’t word it#like i can’t make myself make sense#so i’ll leave it here lol#aftg number analysis#number 4#number 10#neil josten#jean moreau#aftg#all for the game#the number 10 also represents completeness which is seen as neil completes the team allowing them to get to championships#and the number four also represents balance which neil attempts to achieve on the team#by uniting the upper class men and the monsters#i still have so much more to say but i’ll leave it here#stay tuned for more unhinged number analysis#i have to say when i first read the books at 16 i got SO HAPPY when lola burned the four off neil bc HE NO LONGER IS MARKED BY DEATH SO#HE’s GOING TO SURVIVE THIS#but i’ve not seen anyone else point it out
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I think I just discovered a repressed fictional crush and I’m not sure how I should feel about it.
#writing the rest in the tags and gonna be vague as hell for my own sanity because I’m feeling very conflicted rn#so the other day I just realized that I’ve been apparently in DEEP DENIAL of a crush on a character for years#and this goes way back#WAY before I even made this blog#now I use to have an active f/o from the same source material that this repressed crush is from as well#where I shared ship art and everything#I even redesigned my self insert for the one ship because she kept feeling off to me#like no matter what I drew for this self ship it just felt off#and I think it was because I was self shipping with the wrong character#where I still enjoyed that old f/o but my feelings never felt as intense as how I felt when the other character showed up#and the thing is that I originally had an oc x canon ship I drew out in an old sketch book for this crush#but for some reason I ended up shipping with the other character#hell I even had folks comment on how this character was my type and how they thought I was gonna self ship with him#but i didn’t#and idk if it was out of fear due to how well known and popular the character was that I just pushed those feelings away#but now I’m hesitant to say who this character is because I have mutuals who ship with him that I’m TERRIFIED of making them uncomfortable#so atm this character is going to be a secret f/o#and I guess in a way I writing this out to vent#and the fact that I have/had other f/os who shared the same vibes as him felt very obvious#because there was SO MANY DAMN SIGNS!!!#but now all my attention on my other f/os kinda halted and I feel stuck#I just need to think this crush over#or at least rewatch some episodes just to see exactly what I’m feeling now that I know this crush was repressed this whole time#like I’m not stressed (not like usual) but I feel almost like I got hit with a brick#so if I’m not as talkative or interactive I promise I’m fine#just mostly confused#also if anyone asks or try to guess I’m not gonna reveal this character (at least not until I figure this out) so please don’t ask#💬 chy chatter 💬#ventish I guess
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writing canon-compliant fanfic is keeping your beaten-up copies of the original books close to you at all times and calling them your “emotional support study materials”
#ao3 writer#fanfic#ao3 fanfic#writers on tumblr#ao3 author#fandom#small fandoms#archive of our own#fanfiction writing#ao3#you won’t find me without my destroyed copy of skyward#i’ve got all five cytoverse books scattered on the floor next to me
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sorry i have not been posting much lol
i’ve been hyperfocusing on reworking my old personal tmnt iteration, i’ve already got the designs for three out of the four turtles down
if anyone would like to see it please lemme know i’ve been working really hard on it
#i’ve got like#the plot down#character sheets down#and even a rough timeline down#i wanna actually like#write this as a book#fanfiction obvi but it would be fun#i’m def gonna share it but would anyone like to see?👉🏻👈🏻#turtle talks#txt post#random#tmnt#tmnt fandom#teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012#teenage mutant ninja turtles 2003#tales of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt#tmnt iteration#tmnt 2007#tmnt 2012#tmnt 2003#tmnt au
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Vi is gifted kid burnout but in the english major way
#she’s the best characterization I’ve seen of gifted kid burnout outside of super-genius characters#like. as a burnt out gifted kid by legal designation. she is me#trying to succeed at everything because that’s what you’re told to do or what you think needs to be done to be worth anything to anyone#being rigid to change because it’s not being done right but at the same time accepting change so long as people stay with you#and also how that ties in with being an eldest sibling#because ik folks love the whole ‘gifted kid jinx’ thing (not me but ya’ll do you) but ya’ll—#YA’LL DO NOT UNDERSTAND MY NEED FOR BURNT OUT ACADEMIC VI—#because Vi never got the chance to be a kid and learn and grow and find what she actually enjoyed in the world outside of the last drop crew#but look at her. the way she speaks and the way she tried to teach powder the lessons she earned the hard way in the gentlest way possible#in the way she so desperately clings on to people and memories#my girl would be a WRITER#my girl would be writing poetry drunk in her shitty basement apartment after hooking up with a girl#my girl would be writing novellas in prison and getting her degree#because you know she sees the world like a romantic. her world is art and emotion and devotion. to her family. to anything she cares about#i need more literary! student vi. i need more academic vi. i need more grudging debate-team captain vi#i need vi getting her own place and having an extensive book collection that she develops because of the loneliness#Her gkb is going from a leader & soldier to someone who could be useful regardless to someone who is useless & being okay w/ it ->#to being needed again and not knowing how to handle it but knowing she refuses to fuck it up this time#GIVE ME VI W/ MY GIFTED KID ARCCCCCC#this probs makes no sense and is like 4 tangents but I’ll expand on it later ‘cause im tired#coherency is for losers and the well-rested#vi arcane#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#arcane season two#vi
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The Rook x Observant Reader got even longer. I’m not even talking the current word count which is 39k. I’m talking I have more idea to fit in the end so the entire theme of the fanfic is more wholistic. Yes, there are core themes in this like real novels or short stories. There’s even foreshadowing. I intentionally use story structure to enhance the reader’s experience. I make sure that there’s no scenes that are not there for a reason. If I could take it out of the story and it would still make sense, I’ve banished it to the scrap pile.
I have no idea how this happened. I’m as surprised as everyone else. I’ve been in shock for the past 3 hrs.
Some of these things I didn’t even plan until I looked a little closer and analyzed it and went “oh my god! The parallels!” You’ll get it once you read it.
I’m still in shock but I have to share because wtf. I didn’t plan any of this. It just happened and it’s smart
#baffled#how did i get here#i'm still in shock#brain doesn’t compute#it took like 2 hrs to write the outline/structure for the ending ending#I’m talking we wrap book 7 up#it’s brief because the solution is simple in my opinion#we go for preventative measures here rather than damage control#folks regulate your emotions#go to therapy in a nutshell#she had a great YouTube series on emotional processing#once u read this fanfic you’ll understand how integral it’s become in my life#u could psychoanalyze this#how did this happen#this wasn’t planned#twisted wonderland#twst#twst x reader#pomefiore#fanfic update#rook hunt#twst rook#rook x reader#writing#i feel like this could be publish worthy but it’s a fanfic#can I use this on my resume?#I still don’t know how I got here#I’ve had multiple people tell me that they really like my reader#like move aside romantic interest I want the reader#such a compliment
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Nothing quite like the piece of literature that you haven’t read in years but still inspires you enough to make endless playlists and chase after a high you’ll never experience again for the first time
#The Raven Cycle#The Dreamer Trilogy#The Magicians#The Lunar Chronicles#which reminds me I’ve got a whole Lev Grossman book on my shelf that I should read#and I should maybe stop being wary of Donna Tart’s writing style and read The Secret History#anyway I’ve made another Raven Cycle playlist#and I want to go back to hiking and being sun kissed#but instead I might just redecorate my room with fake plants#and imagine myself at a farmers market
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i didn’t wanna draw more saxwell,,,.,, but the parasites wanted to draw more saxwell.,…,…….
anyways go read my saxwell fic Don’t Go on AO3 :)
#trying to get better with anatomy#but it’s hard to teach myself#i got books from the library but my brain nono work good#but i’ve at least started using references again so that’s good#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 fanart#saxwell#saxton hale#tf2 bidwell#team fortress 2 fanart#team fortress 2 fanfiction#tf2 fanfiction#tf2 fanfic#saxwell fanfic#read my writing n tell me if u like it please#i need the validation#or i’ll explode#thank you love you bYE
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while I expected lots of cute moments with bb-8 and pew-pew adventures in Poe Dameron: Flight Log (which, don’t get me wrong, I definitely did get and was very happy about!!) along with lots of cool ship specs and tech details—
what I wasn’t expecting (a surprise, to be sure, but a welcome one) was several instances of incredibly heartfelt, evocative, and sweet introspections from Poe on his family, upbringing, philosophy / ethics, the resistance, and love 🥺 so many sweet characterization tidbits in this book, I really enjoyed reading it ♡
if you’re interested in reading it as well, I borrowed it (for free!) on internet archive which I highly highly recommend, it was such a fun read and it’s very easy & user-friendly to borrow books from them!
#sw feels#poe dameron#Poe Dameron flight log#did you know his mom was a rebel alliance pilot and after she died he wore her wedding ring on a necklace?!?#and said he was ‘saving it until he found the right person to give it to’?!?!?? what the hell man that’s so sentimental and sweet?!?!?? I’m.#and one of his earliest memories is sitting on his mom’s lap in the cockpit of her a wing as a toddler and her showing him how to fly?!?!#and that she went on missions with Leia who admired her greatly?!? and that his dad lives a quiet content life on yavin?!?#with a. oh my god. with a tree that was grown from part of a tree rescued from the Jedi temple on coruscant by freaking Luke Skywalker?!?!?#and. AND. his dad is an excellent tracker who would climb trees and track local fauna — not to hunt but just for fun?#the Aragorn coding…. dear lord….#OH ALSO Leia personally sent a letter to Kes (his dad) and Poe when Shara (his mom) passed with her personal condolences#and Shara flew in the battle of Endor#that means Poe’s parents probably met if not were good friends with#hera syndulla and so probably also chopper?!?#I’m. this book was even better and more fun to read than I expected thank you internet archive ily internet archive#would love to own the physical book but until then I’m so glad I got to borrow it from internet archive#but owning the physical book at some point would/will be SUCH. a good reference for fic writing too and not just for sequels era fic writing#because incidentally several of the ships included are either OT or PT era originating like Poe at one point was flying a pre-TCW era ship#in one of his logs so like. idk this is the first tech specs star war book I’ve read so far but it’s really fun to have all of that info#laid out on paper in a physical book. would definitely recommend if you like ships and specs#also great fic writing reference point for several minor character info sheets and specs on droids and star fighters and such and also for#the main character characterizations#on the whole just a really fun short book and I only wish it was longer#book quotes#<- not quotes exactly more like book discussion but that’s the tag I use for booky stuff for org purposes#oh also after reading this book I no longer care 0% about kylo ren. I actually care negative 100000000 million times forever about that#‘masked maniac’ as Poe called him. Poe described the interrogation/ torture he endured before Finn broke him out and yeah I despise kylo eve#n more than I did before now. that part made me really sad
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i love medias taht affect me to no end so much so that there’s no real way to get the pre-media ‘me’ back
#small list of medias that have affected me so profoundly i was not the same person after#the perks of being a wallflower; bsd; danganronpa; omori; gacha life [as in the app itself]; solitaire [as in the book]#solitaire and tpobawf and omori gave me a new outlook on life actually#also omori introduced me to both fanfiction and the idea of writing fanfiction also first itabag was omori themed#danganronpa introduced me to fandom i think? either crk or danganronpa introduced me to fandom#i started drawing consistently bc of danganronpa and omori as well#eugh. bsd. i don’t think i’ve ever enjoyed analyzing media before i got into bsd and now i have to critically consume everything i enjoy#otherwise i don’t feel satisfied with the media#my love for analyzing comes from bsd#sodaramblestoomuch#gacha introduced me to drawing forgot to say that
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One of the biggest non-writing writing tips I can give is to add inside jokes into your work that only you get
Not just the finished product, but your plot notes and drafts too. On the one hand it makes you less fussed about leaving things imperfect while you’re still drafting, but more importantly it makes it so much more fun to re-engage with your notes and plans and old drafts if you can have a giggle as you go through it
You can even leave them in the final work, if you want! Just don’t be afraid to add those little snippets that make you love the work all the more
#I’ve got so many of these and it makes me laugh way more than it should#writing#writers#writeblr#bookblr#book#writers on tumblr#writerscommunity#writers of tumblr#writer#creative writing
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ever just get the urge to write everything down?
#i get this quite often#and there are some times where i’ll spend the whole day just documenting stuff#my favorite artists musicians books movies songs shows colors places things#all of my playlists with a summary of each#text messages and conversations i’ve had; some with people i don’t talk to anymore and i feel the need to preserve#songs that my mom jams out to in the car#things my dad says that sound terrible out of context#odd traditions behaviors antics and things that my siblings and i do but can’t explain#inside jokes#as many dreams and passing thoughts as i can recollect#characters and ideas; stories i want to tell#every way i’ve died in outer wilds (which is hard to keep track of tbh)#people’s voices and what instruments they sound like#yea#turns out i’m not just a collector of things; but also. a collector of things.#i got that… writing things down… dawg in me#(idk if there’s a word for that)#stan’s forum
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i wanted to post another part this weekend, but the final months of uni are beating me and I’m sorryyyy
#I’ve got half of it done#but i also have three essays and a dissertation to write#and I’m booked working for almost two weeks#i apologise i used to post so quick and i feel bad :(
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If you can’t tell I am entirely obsessed with this guy
#qi rong and guzi#qi rong#qi rong fanart#qi rong design#tgcf#tgcf qi rong#heaven officials blessing#heaven officials blessing season two#tgcf season two#tian guan ci fu#LITERALLT LOOK AT HIM PLS#Idk what to call his dynamic with Guzi cause he’s not fatherly at all but at the same time he’s guzis father#he really is my favorite character#go ahead and ask me why if you dare I will write you AN ENTIRE ESSAY about it#if I was more insane than I unfortunately am I would deadass write tgcf from his perspective just for fun#AND I WOULD IF I DIDNT HAVE SO MANY PROJECTS IN THE WAY#college is dumb and I’ve got books to sell before I can even attempt fanfiction again#BUT I TOTALLY WOULD#maybe I could#like as a string of oneshots ya know#like the flower crown prince ceremony but qi rong’s perspective like “the AUDACITY of that HOMELESS ASS LOOKING CHILD to FALL FROM A BRIDGE#‘THE FUCK IS HIS PROBLEM?!’#like really dude I have so many things to go running with#anyways#if you dare you could ask me to talk about him and I would just go off#love qi rong#qi rong appreciation#crimson monsoon art tag#crimson monsoon
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