#but Im gonna do it!!!!

[ivymarquis]

ghost + "like what you see?"

😘

Sin Sunday

Cardio

Pairing| Simon Riley x F!Reader Rating| T Word Count| ~450 Kinks/Content/Warnings| Nothing too exceptional; some jokey slut shaming because we love a good grey sweatpants 🤭 Technically SFW just because Im trying to keep these short otherwise they will become 5k works and take 3 calendar years to answer. Also TECHNICALLY this fits @glitterypirateduck’s ghost challenge with the grey sweatpants so 😎😎😎😎

“Where are you going, dressed like a slut?”

Simon might be a man of few words, but there are few times in life where he’s rendered well and truly speechless.

It takes a second, but he does eventually find words. It’s obvious from your tone that you’re being a little cocktease, but he’s fully dressed. A session at the gym with Johnny is a routine occurrence. He’s wearing a T-shirt and full length sweatpants for fuck’s s-

Ah. The grey sweatpants. That’s what’s got you all hot and bothered.

He doesn’t get exactly what the appeal is- wasn’t even thinking about it, really when he got dressed.

You’re staring him down like a dog tempted with a bone, and Simon’s got a decision to make, doesn’t he?

“Like what you see, do you?”

Your answer is a simple nod, eyes trained on the sweatpants.

“Was gonna go hit the gym with Johnny. Not sure if that’s the plan anymore.”

He most assuredly can continue on with his plans for the day- go get a workout with Johnny, come back and fuck you stupid.

But clearly he’s got your attention front and center. That is a difficult thing to walk away from.

“Don’t let me get in the way of your plans,” you assure him. “But do hurry back. I’ll uh,” your eyes flick up to him and roam, appreciating the absolute unit of a man you get to call yours, “I’ll be here.”

“That so?” He questions. “Cause now I’m thinking today’s more a day for cardio.”

You pick up on his subtle implication immediately, and given how you go stock-still he shouldn’t be surprised when you’re shooting up from the couch, using the piece of furniture as a barrier to tease him.

Oh now it’s fucking on. You want to play a game, do you?

He can’t help but feel the affection he has for you spill over as he watches and immediately complies with your game. The bright eyed sparkle as you grin and giggle at him, faking out one direction or the next and leading him to chase you around the furniture- just out of reach that he can’t grab you across the shorter side.

Course, he’s on a highly skilled task force and you aren’t, so this little game will only go for as long as Simon feels like. But there’s no fun in not humoring you, is there?

Simon gets in his head enough you actually do manage to fake him out, taking advantage of the opportunity to bolt past him towards the bedroom.

The best kind of quarry is one that wants to be caught, he can’t help but think to himself as he chases after you.

[werewolfmack]

Me: haha yeah I will enter the little drawing for a free private dance lesson, I never win these things, oh look only one other person has entered so far

Drawing for free private professional ballroom dance lesson: you won!!!

My socially anxious ass:

[valtsv]

stuck between "psychological horror statement" and "objectively the funniest thing you could say to your real flesh and blood dad" in the father's day card aisle

[everythingwasnormalhere]

pls rb if you think cuddling doesn't have to be s3xual

im tryna prove a point to my bf's mother help me out

[alivingtypo]

you can pry starting sentences with 'and' or 'but' out of my cold, dead hands

[canonkiller]

I just think everyone should take a moment to consider the question "what is your visual shorthand for cruelty?" and then follow it up with a critical "and who taught you that?"

specific examples include but are not limited to

why is an evil timeline character design disabled? (why do the heroes go through equally punishing battles and never lose an arm, a leg, an eye?)

why are the futuristic scifi terrorists uniformly darker skinned? (why are the heroes so much lighter?)

why is the greedy boss fat? (why are the heroes skinny?)

why is the criminal mastermind heavily scarred? (why is the brooding, traumatized hero unscathed?)

why is the predatory creep a bearded person in a dress and makeup? (why are none of the heroes trans women?)

who taught you that this is how things are?

how long do you plan on repeating it?

[ameba-from-space]

[dilsdoes]

youve heard of do it scared now get ready for: do it weird. is it normal to go to the movies alone? who cares. do it weird.

credit to @hellodaekko for this art and their own post also making this same point which is here

[flame-shadow]

hey did you know??? that if you stop stretching and maintaining mobility in your body then it goes away?? things get tight and you can't move the way that you used to??? and when you decide to try getting a stretch routine going that the first week fucking sucks because you keep going 'damn i used to be able to do this no problem' and then you have to switch gears and be kind to yourself and just focus on getting better from here instead of berating yourself for dropping the good habits in the first place??? and your body never stops aging so you gotta keep taking care of it and sometimes you gotta take care of it extra in certain areas because of things that happened when you were younger and it's boring and sometimes hurts but it's so necessary???

i am yelling this at myself right now i am going through An Experience (trying to get into a routine of body maintenance again for my physical and mental health)

[crowkip]

yeehaw, baby!

[here-there-be-drag0ns]

hey so since we're talking about how awful the minecraft movie looks we're all going to agree not to go see it in theaters right? not even to hatewatch it? we all are in agreement that its a soulless cash grab movie, so we all know that the only way to stop them from making more like it is to give them no cash to grab, right?

yes this includes watching it for the bit. yes this includes bringing your friends to go make fun of it. yes this includes just watching it out of curiosity.

do Not go see this shit in theaters. do Not give them your money. they dont care whether you enjoyed it or not, they only care about what number the box office gives them. so make sure the box office cant give them shit.

[payasita]

being a manager sucks balls half the time but the cashier kids im in charge of trust me enough to dick around in front of me so ive been keeping a running list of the shit they say that makes me laugh randomly: -"guys, is it cheating if you play fortnite with your ex" [4 seperate others, immediately]: "YES" -"there must be like… infinite sentences" -"bro what bro what the fuck bro what's that mean bro why'd you say that bro what" <distraught response to a girl randomly greeting him with 'hey there big boy' in an old timey transatlantic news reporter accent

[kenobihater]

tragedy enjoyers when a character perpetuates the cycle of violence they themselves were a victim of

[frankenruth]

”Never ignore your gut feelings!” my gut feelings tell me that Freddy Fazbear is outside of my door at night

[spitblaze]

I guess Chilchuck has brought us right back to 'adults who are short are child-coded and if you like them you're a pedophile' discourse huh

[hansoeii]

when 2022 me thought it would be fun to draw stede with a beard and a silly little curled up mustache and start calling him steard for the fun of it

AND NOW IT'S REAL

THEY DID IT

MY CREATION.

IT IS REAL. HOLY FUCK