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missxmav · 6 days

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fix you too - jake seresin ; ch 2

(loosely based on 'fix you too' - megan moroney ft. kameron marlowe)

Summary: Jake had a summer fling the year he graduated from Top Gun, but what he doesn't know is that she's still in Miramar with more than just a fleeting memory of the green eyed pilot. (multi-part series!!) Word count: 1,100+ Warnings: no use of y/n, some assumption about size, reader is gendered afab (but I promise I'm trying to get better at the neutral tone!), mentions of pregnancy/single parenting A/N: This is the first reader fic I've posted in almost 10 (!!!) years, please be gentle. (I'm rusty as F*CK) anyways, I'm head over heels for the top gun universe and my husband makes fun of me for it, so this is my creative release (: pls enjoy A/N part two: IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO POST 😭 and I know it's not very long but I'm currently writing chapter 4 already!! I've just been so absorbed in my externship that I haven't had time to share. the next few chapters will be much longer once May is over! previous chapter. next chapter.

Three years earlier…

Jake cradled the side of her face as a distant look crossed his, green eyes wandering across her features as he took a moment of pause. How the hell was he supposed to tell her that he just got an assignment for 6 months, the same length of time they've been seeing each other, and he ships off tomorrow… “I'm leaving…” His voice was low and raspy, as if he had a hard time getting the words out. His thumb grazed her cheek bone. Never had it been so hard for the lieutenant to break away from one of his flings.

She just blinked at him, her mouth falling open and closed in an attempt to make words, but nothing came. She could almost feel her heart shattering inside her chest as it began rabbiting against her ribcage. Her eyes frantically searched his face for anything else to go off of before she muttered a very reserved, “Okay.” Jake winced at how that one word felt heavier than the world, “Sweetheart, I'm so sorry.” The ocean lapping at their ankles became increasingly colder as he could feel her withdrawing. His voice wavered before he took a deep breath to continue, “It's a six month deployment, I just don't want to keep you waiting.” She bit her lips anxiously and said, "I-It’s okay, Jake. I get it.” Her hand reached up to pull his hand away from her face, her fingers lingering around his wrist for a second as she looked up at him. A chaste kiss was pressed to his cheek and she turned to walk out of the water, making her way to her SUV in the parking lot instead of gracing the bar again. Silent tears streamed down her face as she ignored Jake calling out to her from the beach, not noticing the tears also streaking his face as the one person he thought he could love forever just walked away from him…

Jake had only been ashore for a couple days now, his new assignment coming down the pipeline while he was still aboard the ship. Top Gun, special detachment, no further detail until the day of. This was just the kind of mission Jake lived for.

He smiled as he pulled into the familiar setting, parking his truck in the back forty of the lot because he didn't want to take up too much room for other patrons. The California coastal air hugged him as he pushed open the truck door. There was just something different about the sunsets on North Island that always made him feel welcomed.

Though that warm feeling quickly faltered when he looked up, and was met with the sight of an eerily familiar silver SUV parked closer to the docks. Jake shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to erase the image from his mind because he was surely dreaming right now… There's no way she's still here all these years later, right?

Jake swallowed thickly as he closed the door to his black Silverado, replacing the frown on his face with his typical cocky smile as he saw Javy wave him down from the doors of the Hard Deck. His fellow pilot had two beers in hand and was beckoning him to the dartboard.

Jake was determined not to dwell on those thoughts as the two men reminisced for a while. Even though Javy tried many times to beat the Texan pilot, even going so far to block his view… Bullseye. Every time. Jake conceded and offered to buy Coyote a beer to sooth his sore losing streak.

With a sly smile laced on his lips, Jake shook his head with a laugh and pushed through the doors of the Hard Deck so he could retrieve his wallet from his truck. Once he looked up, the air inside his lungs seized as he recognized the sight before him.

He would've known that laugh anywhere, the way the curve of her silhouette cast a shadow along the silver SUV as she busied herself in the backseat. There was no denying now that the suspicious vehicle belonged to someone he had only dreamed of seeing again. The sight made the smile vanish from his lips as he debated approaching her or just heading to his truck, the latter would've been the safest bet but he cursed internally as his feet carried him towards her.

He paused hesitantly in his pursuit when she closed the back door of her car and rounded the back side to close the hatch too. His reflection in the tinted glass caused the woman in front of him to freeze completely, the confidence in her posture quickly shrinking as she spun around and braced herself against the vehicle.

Her mouth opened to speak, but no words came out before she closed it quickly, her hand coming up to cover her mouth as she blinked back at him. Her inability to say something to him made the heartbeat in his ears unbearably loud as he took a hesitant step towards her. His eyes trailed up and down her for a moment before he said anything.

“As I live and breathe… Is that really you?” Jake asked quietly, his southern drawl was thick as he willed his voice not to crack. His heart raced and all the hairs on his body stood at attention under her panicked stare.

Her voice wavered slightly as the only word she managed to get out was his name, her expression was almost scared and it only served to make Jake's brows furrow further. She glanced nervously into the back of the SUV again, internally cursing herself and hoping that he hadn't seen her with the child, but it was in vain as his seafoam green eyes followed hers immediately.

He shifted his weight onto one foot when he returned his eyes to her face, the smallest genuine smile toying at the corners of his lips. “You look fantastic,” He drawled slightly, taking another step forward so that he was standing just a couple feet away from her. “The kiddo belong to a friend?” Jake asked softly, seeing more of the situation than she had hoped.

She laughed nervously as one of her arms snaked around her exposed mid-section, an anxiety induced habit from suddenly feeling too exposed in this swimsuit. Her other hand braced itself against the back of her vehicle, drawing absent-mindedly in the sandy bumper. “Uh, no… She's mine, actually.” Her eyes met his, her mind racing as she resisted the urge to say ‘and yours’ inside her brain.

#jake seresin #jake seresin x reader #top gun #top gun maverick #plus size reader #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake seresin fic #jake hangman seresin #fix you too series #tg:m #jake seresin ff #glen powell

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seeingivy · 1 year

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the party scene

roommate eren x f!reader

you and eren won’t dance

**find the series masterlist here

content warning: drinking, hitch and marlowe being annoying, someone gets pushed into a pool, marco getting clowned for his halloween costume, toilet humor

an: ok yall. here’s the chapter. heheheheheh. and you should listen to the song, when you get to it. for vibes of course. to many anon who guessed correctly, hundreds of kisses. not my fav roommates chapters me thinks (but also it seems like everyone else has different fav chapters than I expected so)

previous part linked here

“What are you going to be for the party?”

You can literally see Eren’s ears perk up, breaking his concentration from the dinner he was cooking on the stove. You tried to make ravioli for dinner. Key word, tried. He didn’t let you stand there for longer than two minutes because he didn’t want you to “burn the apartment down.”

You put foil in the microwave one time and suddenly he thinks you’re some arsonist.

“The party on Friday? You’re going, peaches?”

“Yeah. Jean invited me. Kind of being a wingwoman for him and bringing my classmate Marco, who I’m like ninety percent sure he has a crush on.”

Eren turns his face back to the pan, dishing the food around on the plate. You get up occasionally, grabbing things you know he’ll need before he asks for them. Setting the dishes, grabbing the salt (because this man doesn’t know how to season), the Yerba Mate Eren claims to hate but drinks anyways.

“Hitch and I are going as Anakin and Padme. From Star Wars. Apparently, Marlowe loves that crap and she never gave him the time of day for it. She thinks it’ll make him real mad if we show up like that.”

“You should put a braid in your hair. You know, like from the second movie.”

“Ew. I’m going as the third movie look.”

“Good. He’s hotter in that movie anyways.”

He flashes you a smile as he dishes out the food, lifting the plates and setting them on the table. You join him with the drinks, the two of you sitting right next to each other.

It was getting easier. Eren was your friend. Maybe even your best friend. You’d still get the occasional heart pounding, flustered cheesk whenever he walked past you or said something that made your heart flutter, but other than that, you were making progress. You can live with a heart flutter here and there.

“What are you going to be?”

“Jean wants to do some basic angel/devil thing for the party. I’ve got a white dress and he apparently has a halo already so it should be fine.”

“Have you ever been to a party?”

“Yeah. Not really my thing though, but I don’t mind helping Jean. It can be fun with friends. Dancing, letting loose and all that.”

“Hm. Save a dance for me, peaches?”

“I’m not riding up on you, Eren. That’s weird.”

He drops his fork, an exasperated expression spreading across his face. The vein in his forehead is prominent and you always enjoy when it shows up because you know you’ve won. He’s just that easy to aggravate.

“Who said anything about you riding up on me? I didn’t mean it like that. That’s like…perverted. You could expect that type of shit from Jean or something but-”

You place your hand against his forearm, laughing in his face. He stops immediately at the sight of your laughter, glaring at you.

“You’re so easy to piss off, Eren. I’ll save you a dance, okay? A normal one.”

He holds his hand out, gesturing for you to shake.

“Deal?”

“Deal, Ren.”

“Hey.”

“Hi Ren.”

He steps into the bathroom, standing directly behind you as you finish doing your makeup for the party. Jean was supposed to be here in thirty minutes and the two of you were going to go pick up Marco. Meaning, you were going to have to deal with their awkward pining for the ten minute drive to the party.

“Can you help me with something?”

“Sure. What’s up?”

“Can you help me draw the scar?”

“Oh, yeah. Show me the picture.”

He hands you his phone as you inspect the picture, the scar starting before the eyebrow and breaking just underneath the left eye. He sits on top of the toilet seat, his ankles crossed over each other.

“Ah. Hitch gave me this to use. For the scar.”

He hands you a tube of lipstick, which you slide open and swatch against the back of your hand. Too glittery for a scar.

“Do you mind if I use mine? Hers is kind of glittery and it’ll look kinda weird?”

“Yeah, sure.”

You bend over, digging through your bag to find the one tube of red lipstick you own, that Pieck forced you to buy for her wedding. You can’t show up to my wedding in lip gloss, that’s an atrocity. You find the tube at the end of the drawer, walking over to where Eren was sitting.

As you amble over, you realize that the toilet seat is way too low and you can’t properly reach Eren’s face to reach. You were towering over him, his long legs sprawled across the floor of the bathroom.

“Why are these toilet seats so low? I can’t even get the right angle.”

“Levi. Kenny told me he hates having his feet dangle over certain toilets so he makes sure to get the shortest ones when picking his apartments. As if Levi’s going to come shit in our toilet at some point.”

You nod, trying your best to lean over and indent the mark over Eren’s face. Out of all the angles you try, not one of them works - your head is blocking the light, your hands are in a weird position, you’re all up in his space.

“Just sit on my knee. If it’s easier.”

He splits his legs, tapping on the top of his thigh for you to sit. You nod, setting both of your legs on each side of his one as you lightly perch on top of his leg.

“That’s hovering. Not sitting, Y/N. It’s fine.”

You sigh, pressing your full weight against Eren as you lean back over for the phone and check the picture. As you slide over reaching for it, Eren puts his hands on your waist, holding you from falling off of his knee.

“Thanks Ren. Just wanted to check again before I started.”

You focus on the picture, the light shining against your face as you check where the scar was exactly on your eyes. Eren locks his fingers together behind your waist, pulling you closer so you can get a better look.

“Okay. I think I’ve got it down.”

You cradle the side of his face in your hands as you start drawing the scar on, trying to be as gentle as possible. Trying to avoid the fact that you’re basically straddling him right now. You can feel his cheeks warming under your touch and you try your hardest not to let the smile spread across your face. At least it’s not just you.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing Ren. You’re just blushing, that’s all.”

“You’d blush if you were in my position too.”

You shake your head, pressing your fingers against his lips so you can stop him from moving. You’re only halfway through the scar and if he talks again you’re going to smudge it.

“Since when do you wear red lipstick?”

“I don’t. Pieck made me buy it for her wedding. It’s for special occasions.”

You lean back, cupping his face in your hands as you glean your eyes over the scar. You compare it to the picture and figure it's semi accurate, giving him a smile to signal you’re done. You slide off of his legs, beckoning him to join you in the mirror. You watch him lean forward, eyeing your work.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.”

“Can I try?”

“Try what?”

“Doing makeup on you.”

You pause, dropping your lipstick tube back into the box.

“I don’t have a scar for my costume.”

“I know. But you must have something left to do. You just looked so focused, like you were face painting, and I just wanted to try.”

“Um, okay. You can take this glitter. You basically just dip your finger in it and swipe it against my eyelids. And then along the collarbone too, because it's body glitter.”

He nods, taking the white glitter into his hands. He inspects the box first, turning it over and over again, holding it up against the light, smelling it.

“Do you need to do a police inspection on the box? It’s just glitter.”

“Shut up. I was just checking if it was okay to use.”

“It’s obviously okay to use if I’m giving it to you. I’ve used it before.”

He rolls his eyes, learning down. He sets his hands on both sides of your face, angling your face to inspect you this time.

“You’re short.”

“Thank you, Captain Obvious.”

“Do you always have to give me attitude?”

“Pretty much.”

“Sit on the counter. It’ll be easier for me to do if we’re closer to the same level.”

You brace your palms against the counter, trying to push yourself onto the counter. You clearly misestimated how tall the counter was because you barely hit the back of the top, stumbling in the air.

“Okay, Humpty Dumpty. Let me help you.”

He reaches down, securing his hands around your waist to lift you up to the counter. You can feel your cheeks burning at the sensation, unable to look him in the eyes.

Right. Because it was getting easier, because he was becoming your friend. But there were still moments like this. Ones where you can feel your cheeks burning, your heart pounding, your fingers shaking.

You hate that he still makes you feel this way.

“Okay, widen your stance.”

“What?”

“Open your legs.”

“Ew. You’re so vulgar, Eren.”

“Well, I said to widen your stance and you gave me that stupid look on your face. It’s your fault.”

You roll your eyes, parting your legs. He steps in between the space, leaning close to your face with the glitter still in his hands.

“So, the eyelids and collarbones?”

“Yeah. You can just use your fingers. You wash your hands after you pee, right?”

“Of course not.”

“What?”

“It’s better for the environment. If I just wait until I have to poop, I can just save water by washing my hands once. You should try it.” he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“As if. Girls don’t poop.”

“Yes, they do.”

“No, they don’t.”

“There’s no way girls don’t poop.”

“Ask your mom. Or Mikasa. They’ll tell you the same thing.”

“Okay, stop fucking around. We’re running late.”

“You started it with your stupid toilet humor.”

“Shut up. Your attitude is going to kill me one day.”

“That’s a promise, Yeager.”

He rolls his eyes, a small smile spread across his face as he dips his thumb into the glitter. He cups the side of your face and you flutter your eyes shut, his fingers gentle against your eyes. You can hear him laughing and you squint your eyes, glaring at him as you open them.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing Y/N. You’re just blushing, that’s all.” he responds, his tone mocking.

“Did you do this just to prove a point? It looks like finger painting, my ass.”

“Close your eyes. I’m not done yet.”

You shut your eyes again, Eren sliding the last bit of glitter along your eyes. You open your eyes to find him staring at you, his eyes wide.

“What did you do? Don’t tell me there’s glitter on my forehead.”

“No, it just looks pretty, that’s all.”

You look down, focusing on his hands as he dips into the glitter again. Stupid fucking hands and voice and smell and hair and soft cheeks. You can literally feel your heartbeat all the way in your stomach and he’s barely even touching you.

He uses his hands to tilt your face up, lightly pressing the glitter against the exposed parts of your neck. You feel your body shiver, instantly remembering the last time you and Eren were like this. Pressed up in the bathroom, with him kissing your neck. He presses his hand to your shoulder, his eyes washing over in concern at you shivering.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. Got a weird sense of deja vu, that’s all.”

He nods, finishing off the last of the glitter. When he’s done, he locks his hands across your waist again, lightly setting you back down on the counter as you both stand there. You’re both staring at each other, neither one of you talking first.

Right. Because what are you supposed to say after that? Oh, sorry, I was just thinking of your lips on my neck, my bad.

The doorbell rings and Eren gives you a soft smile before squeezing your shoulder and leaving. You can hear Hitch in the doorway and you try to ignore the way your entire body is steaming.

“What are you even supposed to be, Marco?”

“I’m a space cowboy, Y/N!”

“You’re holding a glittery gun and wearing a flannel. You look like a kid who got lost at Party City and picked the closest thing you could find. You don’t even have a cowboy hat.”

“Ignore her, Marco. I think you look great.”

You watch Marco’s cheeks turn a bright pink, awkwardly stuttering to respond to Jean. Great. They’re going to do this whole oblivious idiots thing all night.

Marco slides into the front as you and Jean walk to the other side, unlocking the car.

“Ignore her, Marco. I think you look great.” you say, mocking Jean’s high pitched voice.

He rolls his eyes, lightly shoving you as you settle into the seat behind him. They’re both talking animatedly, forgetting you were even sitting in the back. You unlock your phone, playing Wordscapes as they go on in the background.

Eren’s eyes were trained on your figure, as Jean and Marco were spinning you around on the dance floor with them for a better part of the last forty-five minutes. He’s been waiting, staring at you, anticipating when you’ll look at him.

You’re driving him crazy. Today, especially. Soft glitters, a willowy white dress, that stupid flowery perfume you wore during the concert. He even likes the stupid halo you have on your head.

He wants to touch you. Press his hands against yours, drag you out and leave with you so he was the only one who could see you like this, your stupid eyes glittering in the light.

He hates that you can still make him feel this way.

He sees you leave, waving off Jean and Marco who were still left on the dance floor. Marco’s wearing your halo and you have the glittery gun Marco was holding.

He’s still watching you. Shamelessly. You weave around people talking, wait to walk forward so you don’t get in the way of pictures, compliment strangers on their costumes.

“What are you staring at?”

“Nothing, Hitch.”

She’s been annoyed for a better part of the last hour, not that he’s been paying much attention to it. Marlowe still hasn’t shown up.

He doesn’t mind the guy. He doesn’t quite understand why Marlowe and Hitch have to play these games - circling around each other, making each other jealous, making up. He figures a part of it is the chase, but he’s always found that part the most agonizing. He’d catch you if he could. He’s been waiting long enough. He’d make you feel good right here and right now.

He watches you leave the room, leaving the heat of the room to the patio outside.

“Mind if I leave? Just call me when he’s here, okay?”

Hitch nods and Eren basically bolts out the door, ready to follow you where you went. But before he can, Jean all but falls right off the dance floor, piled on the floor in front of him. He can see Marco’s hand under him, dragging them both up by their arms. He can tell Jean’s already too far gone and that he has to deal with this first. Then you.

Your feet hurt. Like a bitch. You made the wrong choice of wearing your Doc Martens to the party. You had figured you wouldn’t be moving much, just sticking to the walls and talking to whoever you knew there. But no, of course Jean’s nervous ass had to drag you onto the dance floor with Marco, the three of you spinning in circles.

You had made your safe escape, sitting outside on the patio. You had been watching the wind whistle through the trees in the dead of night, watching the lights in the pool change colors. They had been changing every minute - switching from purple, to red, to green. There were a few stars glittering out, barely sparkling in the sky.

“Anyone sitting here?”

You look up to find a guy with black hair and pale green eyes kneeling down, crossing his legs next to yours.

“No. Well you are, now.”

He smiles, the two of you sitting in silence. You watch people swerve around the pool, girls holding hands, people leaning against the chairs, everyone nursing drinks in their hands.

“I’ve never seen you around here.”

“Yeah. I don’t really come to these things, I just came here with my friend Jean.”

He nods, leaning down to feel the temperature of the water.

“Do you want to play twenty questions?”

You hike your knees against your chest, tangling your fingers together across.

“Sure.”

“Your name is…?”

“Y/N. Yours?”

“Marlowe.”

Right. Hitch’s Marlowe. The guy she was trying to make jealous, the reason Eren was seeing her and not you. Well, not exactly. He said you two were just a mistake but you could have convinced him if she wasn’t in the picture. Semantics. He taps your shoulder and you forget that it’s your turn.

“You play a sport, Marlowe?”

“Water Polo.”

You nod, lightly turning your head to the side. This is wrong. Surely Hitch wouldn’t be the happiest that you were sitting with Marlowe and not her. You can hear the party getting louder behind you and you swear you can hear her screaming in there somewhere.

“Seeing anyone, Y/N?”

“Uh, no. You?”

“Not exactly, Y/N.”

“I have this friend, I think you’d like her. Her name is-”

“Hitch?”

You pause, swallowing as you turn your face to look at him. He’s sitting way too close, an all-knowing look plastered on his face.

“Yeah.”

“Thanks for the suggestion. I’m okay, for now. It’s your turn to ask.”

“Um, okay. Why don’t you want to see Hitch?”

“Because I’m talking to you.”

He untangles his legs and stands up, holding out his hand for you to follow. You press your hand into his and he pulls you up, not letting go of your hand as the two of you stand. The party is getting even louder, the sound of voices drowning out the sound of the music. You’re positive you can hear her now.

“My turn. Do you know a guy named Eren? Plays soccer, green eyes?”

“Uh, no. Never heard of him.”

He nods, squinting his eyes at you. He must know Eren’s your roommate. Maybe he’s found out their together and he’s trying to get you to admit it. You let go of his hand, the two of you standing awkwardly by the pool.

You can’t really tell what he’s getting at, but every part of him irks you out. He’s perfect for Hitch.

“My turn, Marlowe. Are we done now?”

“That’s barely even twenty. But fine, one more question.”

You teeter on the balls of your feet, ready to take off the second he asks his stupid question. He turns to the side, eyeing the window, before asking.

“When was the last time someone kissed you?”

Before you can respond, Marlowe crashes into the pool, with Eren suddenly standing at your side. Eren just pushed Marlowe into the fucking pool. You can hear the sound of footsteps behind you - Hitch, Jean, and Marco at your sides.

Jean and Marco - well wasted beyond their minds - swing their arms around you, slurring as they ask you if you’re okay. Hitch on the other hand is pissed. At Eren.

“What the hell is your problem, Eren?”

“Him, Hitch. He was pissing me off.”

“This wasn’t what I meant when I asked you for help with this Eren. And your stupid roommate wasn’t helping the case either.”

You feel your eyes widen, as you make eye contact with Hitch, awkwardly crossing your arms across each other. You turn back to Jean, who still isn’t paying attention, instead playing rock paper scissors with Marco on the floor.

“You want to be with Marlowe so bad, Hitch? Go ahead and join him.”

He leans over, lightly pushing Hitch into the pool where Marlowe was still watching. He turns to you and ou can tell he’s pissed - that stupid vein on his forehead is showing again. But not in the good way.

“We’re leaving, Y/N.”

He grabs the edge of your wrist, dragging you towards the door as you shake on his hand.

“I drove here with Marco and Jean, Eren. And they’re way too drunk to drive home now.”

You both turn back, leaning over Marco and Jean. Jean’s way too out of it, but Marco looks up, smiling at the two of you.

“You guys are so cute. I love your Anakin and Padme costume.”

Right. Because he took your halo and you took the glittery gun because he kept hitting Jean with it. Eren turns to you, shaking your hand again.

“Armin will come get them. You and I are leaving. Now.”

“But how will he even find them? And what about Marco’s car?”

Eren turns around fully, stopping in the center of the door. He’s pissed, at you now, and you can lightly hear Marlowe and Hitch arguing in the background.

“You can hear them right? Knowing them, they’re going to walk up in a few seconds and start arguing with you and me. And if he says some shit again, I’m going to do worse than just push him into a fucking pool. You and I are leaving.”

He tangles his fingers around your wrist again, his touch still gentle, as the two of you file out of the party, making it back to the apartment.

Eren doesn’t say anything to you as you walk to the car, when you drive home, or even when you stare at him from the confines of your kitchen. He can tell by the look in your eyes that you’re waiting. For an explanation.

But he can’t do that can he? Tell you that the reason he pushed Marlowe in the pull and argued with Hitch is because he can’t stand the thought of him being with you? He can see the entire scene in his head, like he has been for the past hour, his anger burning every time he does.

“Jean, get the fuck up. You too, Marco.”

They both stand up, half leaning on each other. Totally gone.

“Eren. Marlowe’s here.”

He turns to find Hitch at his side, her face scrunched up in anger. Eren waves off Marco and Jean, pushing them towards the kitchen where (he hopes) they’ll find water and sober up a little. There’s no way he’s letting them drive you home, that’s for sure.

“Where?”

“With your stupid roommate outside. What is she doing?”

Eren turns his neck to find you, where he was just about to join you, sitting by the side of the pool. He can see Marlowe sitting next to you, leaning way too close for his liking. He turns back around, pressing his hands against Hitch’s shoulders.

“Get him to leave. Now.”

“How the hell am I supposed to do that?”

He drags Hitch out by the arm, the two of them leaning their necks so they can hear what you and Marlowe are talking about.

“Seeing anyone, Y/N?”

That’s enough. Eren moves forward, not exactly sure what he’s going to do, but Hitch stops him, pulling him back by the wrist.

“What are you doing, Hitch?”

Hitch digs her fingers into Eren’s wrist, turning to glare at him.

“What the fuck is she doing?”

“He asked her the question, Hitch. Shut the fuck up.”

He’s getting angrier. He can feel it - burning hot, red anger. Because why the fuck is Marlowe talking to you? Asking you if you’re alone? Why are you talking to him when you know he’s here? And why the fuck is Hitch pissed at you like Marlowe’s not the one all over you right now? Don’t you know he’s been waiting for that dance you promised him all night?

“Not exactly, Y/N.”

“I have this friend I think you’d like. Her name is-”

“Hitch?”

He turns back, his turn to glare at Hitch.

“See, Hitch. It’s fucking Marlowe. Now go and stop him.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to stop him? And I have no interest in chasing him.”

“Get mad. Argue and then kiss and makeup. I don’t give a fuck. Just get him to stop fucking talking to her. Now.”

“I already told you. I’m not chasing him.”

“This isn’t fucking about you. Do something now or I’ll call the deal off now. I’ve already done more than enough and you can’t do one thing for me?”

“Why do you even care?”

He turns his neck again, to find you and Marlowe standing, his hand in yours. He can’t stand it. Your hand in his. Because he doesn’t deserve you. No one does. Because he can’t treat you right and Eren can. He’d praise the ground you walk on if you let him.

He hears the last question and he can’t take it anymore.

“When was the last time you were kissed?”

So he does the only thing he can think of. Push Marlowe in the pool. Drag you out of the party, where Hitch and Marlowe and Jean or Marco or anyone can’t talk to you. See you. He hates it. Being possessive, getting jealous. He knows you’re not his. But he can’t fucking stand it. It makes his skin fucking burn thinking of an asshole like Marlowe even touching you, let alone kissing you.

“Earth to Ren?”

He looks back up to find you staring at him, awkwardly brushing your hands against your forearms. Right. Because you’re still waiting for a fucking answer and he can’t tell you. Tell you that the thought of another man touching you drives him crazy, that the only person who could touch you right, make you feel good was him.

“You’re doing that thing again. I can see the steam coming off of your head.”

He deflates, leaning against the counter as he watches you. You’re moving from the side, pressing the glass of water in your hand to the dispenser in the kitchen. It’s pissing him off even more. The thought of someone seeing you like this - bedhead in the morning, focused when you’re doing your makeup, half asleep on the couch. He can’t fucking stand it.

“So. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Okay, Darth Vader. No need to growl at me.”

Fuck. Everything is pissing him off. Everything.

“Let’s think about something else, yeah? We don’t have to talk about it just….stop being so pissy.”

You’re at his side, circling the glass of water in your hand.

“Fine. The answer to the question. What was it?”

“What question, Ren?”

“The one Marlowe asked you. Before I pushed him in the pool.”

When was the last time you were kissed? In the bathroom, when Eren had his lips pressed to your neck.

“A real kiss, Y/N.”

Eren Yeager, mind reader.

“Oh. Um. A while ago, maybe a year? It was back when I was dating Floch.”

Eren turns his neck, his eyes flashing at you as you look at him. He looks less angry, his eyes more concerned than murderous like they were a few seconds ago.

“I don’t even think I can remember. I don’t know - he never really liked that stuff. Affection, compliments, all that.”

“Did you ask him to? Do that stuff?”

“At first, yeah. But he never did.”

Now he’s even more pissed. Because an asshole wanting to kiss you, him doing it all wrong is infuriating enough. But the fact that you had to ask someone to do it? He’d literally drop on his fucking knees if you gave him the chance and you had to ask someone for it?

Eren does the only thing he can. The only thing he knows how to do. He wraps his arms around you, tucking your face against his neck as he holds you.

It was either this or kissing you, full on like he wanted to. But he can’t really do that. So hugging it is. He hears you murmur against his shoulder, your arms pressing against his back.

“S’okay Eren. What are you so mad about?”

“You said we didn’t have to talk about it. And no. It’s not.”

“We don’t. But I think this is less about whatever happened and more about whatever just-”

He tightens his grip on you, the pressure of his arms silencing you.

“I’m mad because you should be kissed. Often. And by someone who knows how. Like they can’t get enough of you, like you’re the air they breathe, like you’re inventing kissing just by putting your lips together.”

Shit. He said too much.

You stand in silence, staring at him as he finishes talking. Oh he messed up big time.

He watches the smile spread across your face, your eyes still in the dim light of the kitchen. Stupid fucking glitter. He’s going to go into the bathroom and throw it out.

“Didn’t realize you cared so much, Ren.”

He doesn’t respond.

“Why do you?”

“Why do I what?”

“Care so much, Eren?”

You watch him constrict his fists again, his jaw clenched.

“Selfish reasons.”

You walk up to the counter where he’s leaning over, lacing your arm through his. You push your hands into his fists, forcing him to stop clenching his hands so hard. You can tell his anger is dissipating, his shoulders slowly tensing as you touch him.

“Selfish reasons?”

“I don’t want to see you unhappy or anything. You’re like...my best friend right now. Is it so weird that I want you to be happy?”

You smile, leaning your head against his shoulder. Fucking idiot.

“No, Ren. It’s not weird.”

You both stand like that for a while, your head pressed against his shoulder. He’s still tense, his heart pounding against your ear.

“So I say all this nice shit to you and you have nothing to say back?”

“Nope.”

“Nothing at all.”

You shake your head, watching him begrudingly smile at you as you two smile In the kitchen. You stand there for a while, the anger, awkwardness, wearing off. It’s just you two, standing in the light of your kitchen.

“You promised me a dance. You never even gave me one, Ren.”

“I’m not riding up on you, Y/N.”

“I’m heartbroken.”

You both laugh and Eren leans over, grabbing your phone from the side. He puts a song on - I Won’t Dance by Fred Astaire - and holds his hands out. You lean forward, knotting your hands behind his back as he presses his hands to your waist.

“You know Fred Astaire, Ren?”

“Old timey shit. My parents love it.”

You tangle your hands behind his neck, the two of you dancing in the dim light of your kitchen.

You hate this. That you want to lick all his wounds, hold him till his anger goes away. That you want to dance like this in the kitchen with him, all the time.

He hates this. That it’s this easy for you to fix it all for him. For you to make it better. That he wants to hold you, make you feel good every night.

Do you love each other?

next part linked here

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simplytips · 9 months

Text

❀Genshin Men as Babysitters❀

Summary: The next door neighbor likes you you moved in some months ago after your husband left you and your 2 year old daughter you got a job interview and you need someone to watch your baby luckily you trust your next door neighbor to watch her for a little bit

┗━• ❃ ° • ° ❀ ° • ° ❃ • ━┛

Kayea

-Kayea is a HUGE daddy girl

-Like when this man found out he was watching your daughter he was already planning on what they should do

- They was playing dress and tea parties for some time until they started baking cupcakes (learned that her favorite are red velvet cupcakes)

-The cupcakes had cute heart sprinkles

- She accidentally made a mess which Kaeya cleaned up while he was doing that she walked into Kaeya bathroom and found makeup

- She walked up to Kaeya holding a eye-shadow brush in her small hands

-"Shadow" she said holding the brush to Kaeya and he giggled a little "Marlowe want me to do your eye-shadow?"

- Kaeya put some purple eye-shadow on her eyes "Okay and....Done! Look how pretty you look Marlowe" giving her a small mirror to look at herself "Pretty" she said smiling

╚══ ஓ ๑ ♡ ๑ ஓ ══╝

Scaramouche

-Okay so Scaramouche hates children but for you he can deal with a "small devil" (What he calls all children under the age of 8) for a while

- He noticed that her hair was a little messy so he decided to put her hair up into two little cute space buns

- After that Marlowe was on her table in the living room and Scaramouche was tv (in the living room to keep a close eye on her)

- Marlowe stomach growled and she walked towards Scaramouche pulling on his pants

-"I'm hungry" She said pointing to her stomach

- Scaramouche sighs and get up from the couch walking to the kitchen he didn't know what to make

-"Sandwich" Marlowe said and Scaramouche kinda figured out she wanted A sandwich

after he made the sandwich he made sure to cut it up into bite size pieces for her so she don't choke

-You got back and found Scaramouche and Marlowe cuddling to sleep you had to take a picture to tease him with later

╚═ * . · : · . ✧ ✦ ✧. · : · . * ═╝

Childe

-Okay we all know Childe is good with kids he have a little brother for god sake so when he heard that you need a someone to look after lil Marlowe he said he yes without hesitation

-luckily Teucer was over at his house for the Weekend so they could all play together

-They played Hide and Seek, Tag, Freeze Tag,(even had a tea party which Childe had to put a princess dress on🤭)

-After that almost everyone was tired so Childe thought about have a movie night he put blankets on the floor comfy pillows some snacks and put on a comedy child movie

┗━ ° ⌜ 赤い糸 ⌟ ° ━┛

Okay this was a little short because my motivation kinda went out and plus I wanted to finish it today because me and my friends are going to a movie 🥰

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harrysmimi · 2 years

Text

Another First Time

Synopsis: one where YN and Harry are being disgustingly adorable couple.

CW: Slight smut

More of my work

YN has been very busy lately. Especially because she was now back to work after a long but not long enough of a maternity leave. Her baby girl, who they named Marlowe was now about five months old.

Harry had put his album and touring aside to be there for his wife and new daughter. It is tough being a parent, that too a new parent. Now that he feels safe enough that he can focus more on his personal life, be a good son, brother, husband and now a dad. Harry's honestly enjoying it to the fullest!

Especially because both his girls are doing amazing, especially YN, both mentally and physically.

But her work load had been a bit too much though it was same amount of work when she left, the long gap made it a little difficult to catch up really. She would have to stay late at work knowing that her husband is taking care of their sweet angel baby.

Marlowe is really an angel!

She hardly ever cries, or she hardly ever is grumpy. She is always happy and it's very rare for her to be grumpy. Today was one of those days.

It was a Saturday so YN had a day off from work, which meant Harry would go to the studio and start working on his Album too. Marlowe was grumpy because she didn't get to sleep properly as one of the cats had knocked down a thing and she's a very light sleeper like her Dad. But YN managed to get her to sleep after she was done making dinner for her and Harry. She's tucked the little girl in her cot in their bedroom, yes she was sleeping in their room for now she's too young to sleep in her own room. Mainly because she still needs to be fed every three hours.

YN had planned out one of her at home date, with Harry's favourite food (she wanted to cook tonight because Harry's their family chef anyway), he did not drink support of his wife who couldn't as she is breastfeeding so there were two champagne glasses and a bottle of sparkling cider in Harry's favourite flavour. Everything was for Harry and Harry only.

He'd said he would come home early, but he got stuck and couldn't reply to her texts or calls either. YN decided to just wait out for him. It's been two months they've had a quiet dinner or even sat down and had a heart to heart conversation like they used to, or even hardly got to make love. Since Marlowe everything have been magically exhausting, there was nothing but love and love in their tiny family.

Harry rushed, it was midnight when he got back home. It was very quiet so he thought the girls must be off to bed. He quietly parked his car in the driveway, and went in. Took off his shoes and just as he was about to go upstairs to kiss his girls he found one of them at the dining table. Passed out with her head on the table. Food was served which must have went cold by now. Harry rushed towards her.

"Hey baby," he whispered calmly trying to wake her up and pressed a kiss on her head.

"Hey, you're home," YN seemed happy to see him, he thought she'd be upset or mad.

"Yeah, I'm sorry for being late I didn't know you would wait for me." He cooed pushing her baby hairs off her face, "did you eat?"

"No, I was waiting for you." She finally lifted her head from the table with a tired sigh.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry darling." Harry felt guilty, wrapping her in his arms he continued to mumble his apologies.

"Hey, it's okay Hazza." YN hugged him, rubbing his back soothingly to calm him down a bit.

"You're not upset?"

"I promise, I'm not. Now get freshed I'll go reheat the food." She suggested.

"Oh okay, okay," he rushed to the downstairs bathroom to wash his hands and face did not bother to change for now. He doesn't want to keep her waiting any longer. he pulled a chair next to hers and helped her get the reheated food back to the table.

"How is Lolo?" He asked.

"She's been asleep for a quiet a while now. Will have to feed her again in a while." YN said getting the bottle of milk she pumped earlier out of the fridge so it could warm up to the room temperature. "My mum said she'll start teething soon."

"She's growing up way too fast, isn't she?" Harry sighed.

"Mhmm." YN nodded.

"Food smells amazing baby, thank you." Harry said leaning in to press a kiss on her mouth, instead of just stopping at a simple peck he dived into one of deeper kiss making her chuckle as she moved back tiny bit. A weird shy look on her face whilst he smirked at her digging into his dinner.

"Don't have to thank me for this, wanted to make you something nice." She smiled watching him devour the food.

After he helped clear the table and even went check on Marlowe when she started squirming and fussing in her sleep, the house is very quiet when she's asleep so they could hear her little whines. Luckily she went back to sleep, she just needed little taps on her chest to calm her down. Harry placed a kiss on her head.

"I love you little baby love, sleep tight okay?" He whispered and pressed another kiss on her fluffy cheek. He changed into a pair basket ball shorts and a loose tshirt, which he's sure YN has claimed as hers and she's going to be fussy about it if she notices it. He'd put his phone on the Do Not Disturb mode and went back downstairs to his wife who was washing up.

He was surprised to see how quick she was with everything she was already going to turn off the lights in kitchen before he rushed to stop her, wrapping his arms around her waist he smoother his lips on her catching her by surprise making her giggle.

"Do you maybe wanna make love?" He suggested.

"Marlowe still sleeps in our room, Harry." She reminded him, also she's been feeling quite closed off since giving birth from the sexual aspects of her life. Harry haven't found it much alarming because she did tore a bit which was traumatising for him to watch happen in flesh, he just wanted her to heal properly and be comfortable, tonight he decided to take the initiative as he really misses his wife.

"Hmm, we gotta get creative then, don't we baby?" He slowly started walking forward until they had to stop due to the kitchen counter being in the way, but it was exactly his plan. "Haven't made love in ages, angel, need tou so fucking bad right now!"

"Mmm, what is your creative plan then?" She whispered leaning in closer until their noses brush against each others. She didn't wanted to make him feel bad by pushing him away, her OB have told her it was okay to slowly start being sexually active again at just 5 weeks postpartum as she was nicely healed. It was a different story she doesn't feel comfortable yet though it's been about five months but she needed it as much as he did really.

"Gonna fuck you here on the kitchen counter, like old times." He suggested.

"Thought you wanted to make love," she pulled away enough to look in his eyes, the green in his eyes almost non existent with his pupils dilated so much.

"Will be gentle, I know it can be uncomfortable for you now. But ask me to stop yeah?" He said.

"Mhmm," she nodded, rather nervous which Harry was quick to catch on.

Yes, he's an amazing and very observant husband!

"You sure you feel ready?" He enquired and proceeded to assure her, "if not, it can wait."

"No, I mean yes," YN stuttered.

"It's okay, c'mon tell me what's wrong baby?" He cooed

"I, uhhhh, can you like go slow for now?" She asked.

"Are you still not comfortable love? We don't have to if you're not, it's okay with me." He assured her.

"I know, but I need you," she pouted sweetly looking up at him, making his heart melt.

Harry sighed, "how can you be this fucking adorable," and she shook his head. Sliding his hands down to the waist band of her shorts and panties as he pulled them down before putting her up in the kitchen counter, as he pressed his mouth to her puckered lips gently making her chuckle again. "What?"

"I dunno, this just reminded me of our first time," YN shared, "and I also don't know it also feels like that."

"Yeah, it is kind of," Harry smiled sweetly at her, taking of her hands in his, "it is kind of a first time after you and I made such a sweet girl who'll probably wake up for her milk soon so we better hurry."

"Mhmm," YN nodded smiling back. Sometimes she wonders how can he pull off being adorable and sexy at the same time. He'd now placed her hand on his shoulder as he got back to his business, pressing his mouth to her sweetly this time.

"I love you," he mumbled, "so much."

Without giving her any chance to reciprocate what he just said, he slid his hand down in between her thighs tips of his fingers rubbing gently on her clit making her gasp on contact with his cold skin. Dipping his head down he peppered her skin with kisses, some of which were meant to be turned into hickeys, if not now definitely in morning.

"Take off your shirt!" He chuckled at her whining already getting to unbutton hie shirt. "Harry?"

"Yes baby?" He stopped to look at her.

"I love you," she said, moving her hand from his shoulder to his face resting her hand on his cheek as she placed a soft kiss on his other cheek.

"And I love you more," he reciprocated.

YN was sure she saw his face turn into a shade of pink, his shade of pink as he got back to unbutton her shirt. He slipped off his basket ball shorts.

"Next time we're leaving our kid at my mum's for a night," Harry groaned as he attacked her with sloppy kisses at first before getting straight to business. He'd made his way from her jaw down to her neck to her collar bones leaving a wet trails of kisses. He was hating the fact that he had to hurry but he was still taking his own sweet time to love on his wife like that.

"We're not leaving her alone, she's still very young." YN warned him.

In matter of minutes he was making his way down the valley of her breasts to her tummy, over the fabric of his crewneck which was covering her body. He never thought it was possible fall in love with all over again but the fact that she housed their daughter in her womb for over nine months, it was undoubtedly gorgeously fascinating thing to him. He'd made sure to never make her feel insecure about the changes in her appearance even unintentionally or in frustration.

"We'll see what you say after this," he challenged her, now on his knees his pushed her thighs apart.

"Come on stop teasing already!" She whined.

"Someone's being impatient."

Feeling the soft skin of her thighs under his palm he left another trail wet kisses up her skin, taking all the time in world. Just as his tongue swiped in the most gentle way on her clit, she could help but gasp.

Indeed it was like her first time. She'd never experienced anything sexual before Harry, she remembers her first time getting a head was exactly the same. Right there in his kitchen on their third date night at his. Yeah, it was a bit early to jump into those things but it worked out for both of them. YN was advised by her doctor to not indulge into many sexual activities during her eighth month of pregnancy due to some complications but five more months of healing and sleepless nights with a new born. It was indeed a first fucking time. She hadn't even dared to touch herself.

"If it's too much, tell me stop yeah?" Harry assured her.

"Mhmm," she nodded earning a hard look from him, he needed words, "yes I will."

"Good girl," he whispered, diving straight back into what he was doing this time not daring to break the eye contact as he sucked on her clit. He missed all this, as much as he loves his new family he needed this with his lovie. His hand caressed the skin kf her thighs whilst other was toying in between her folds as he licked in a bold strip from her pussy to her to her clit.

"Is this alright sweet girl?" he asked, before sliding in his middle finger inside of her.

"Yeah, fuck!" She couldn't help but throw her head back in pleasure. This is what she was most afraid of but it was like the weight was lifted off her shoulders when she did not felt any discomfort, yet.

Fuck it was so nice to feel this feeling again after almost half a year. She didn't know how she'd held it off till now, or Harry held it off till now. Well, guess he didn't tear down to his ass and he's got a hand. But oh boy did it felt so relieving. She gasped when he inserted another one his fingers inside her, hitting the right spot every time. He knows her and her body more than she'd like, she look down to find him already looking up at her as he devoured his dessert after dinner with a smirk on his face.

And man! That stupid smirk of his, she wanted to smack it right off his face but at the same time it turned her on so much. Feeling the knot tighten in her stomach, the burning up sensations in her skin was enough to tell her that she's about to hit her orgasm if her pulsing walls around his fingers wasn't a sign in on itself.

"Harry, I'm gonna cum!" She said, punctuating her announcement with a soft sigh of moan.

"You think you can take two darling?" He asked.

"I think, I don't know," she shook her head. "Yeah, I think I can!"

"You sure baby?" He asked again.

"Mhmm!" She nodded, "I'm so fucking close Harry, just don't stop please." She whined.

"You've got be quiet baby," he warned her of her loud whining. It was quite opposite this time, usually Harry's the one being loud and grunting but now it was her. It was nice to switch roles sometimes. "Come now, it to me sweet girl, wanna taste it." And just with that she came down from her high with cuss words laced with his name. Harry was still on his knees, licking her and his fingers clean. With her hands cupping his face, she's made him stand up just so she can kiss him.

"You liked that, did you cum?" He asked just to be sure. He cares more about her pleasure than he does of his own.

"Uh-huh!" She nodded, that enough for him to know before he buttoned their mouth back together. It was a way of giving her time to get back from her orgasm and give her a small break. It was hard for her get out words after they'd made love like this.

"Let's take this off, yeah?" Harry held up the hem of her crew neck shirt, as if to obey his request she'd let him slide it off her body, instead of throwing it carelessly on the floor he'd kept it nicely on the counter next to them knowing she'd probably need it back. "You sure you can another sweetums?"

"Yeah, I want to make you feel good too!" She pouted which he kissed right away.

"You don't have to baby, I've got a hand." He giggled, her half zoned out haze was very adorable to him.

"No, you better finish what you started Mister!" She warned him, "'cause I've got a hand myself."

"As you say, Missus. Your wish is my command!" He smirked pressing his lips back on hers, wrapped his arms around her now bared torso. It was newly amazing to feel her so close. His breath hitched when he felt her hand wrapped around his shaft in between them. "Wait, wait," he stopped her. Looked his his shorts quickly and took out the condom he'd made sure to bring.

"You came prepared, didn't you?" She teased him.

"When you've got a wife this hot, you've fot to be prepared." He said.

"Ow! That was cringey!" She laughed.

"Well, you wouldn't know," he shrugged. Tearing off the packet he took out the condom, rolled it on his cock.

"Can I help?" She offered.

"No, tonight is all about you my darling love." He moved closer to her, getting back in between her thighs. "Are you ready?"

"Mhmm," she nodded earning a pointed look from him asking for words, "yes I am."

"Alright, gimme me a kiss first." He demanded already diving in for the loving action. It was a way of distraction she'd told him was good with her the first time in case it was to hurt. With his hand on the back of her neck to hold her close whilst other helped his hard prick to align with her pussy before slowly pushing just the tip in earning yet another gasp from her, it felt weirdly uncomfortable as if her she was going to tear apart (again) and it wouldn't be nice if she did. It caused a spark of anxiety that she froze in her spot.

"Stop, stop, stop!" She pulled away from his mouth, Harry was quick to move away.

"Hey, you alright baby? Did I hurt you?" He asked.

"No, it just feels uncomfortable, still." She shared feeling guilty.

"Hey isn't alright baby," he assured her.

"I don't want to do this, I'm sorry, I, I need some time." She stuttered feeling bad for him.

"It's okay YN, don't ever apologise for stopping okay?" He comforted her, "we don't have to finish just because we started."

And that was the exact same thing he said to her when she had her first with him. It was a different story that they really finished what they started and it is completely different now. His fingers are nothing compared to his cock. That was a given fact.

"I love you," he pressed a kiss on her forehead and grabbed the shirt from the counter, he'd helped her to pull it over her head again.

"I love you," she reciprocated, "hug?"

He sighed in contain that he did not scared her off so he wrapped her up in a warm hug.

"I feel so bad for backing off Harry, I'm sorry." She mumbled, wrapped her own arms around his neck.

"I told you it's alright, wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable, would we now?" He rubbed her back, soothing strokes of his warm hand on her back was calming enough, "I'm so glad you told me to stop."

She just nodded and stayed silent clinging onto him like her life depends on him. Her heart was pounding really fast against her chest which she was sure Harry could feel as he is that close to her.

"Hey, baby, look at me?" He pulled away enough to be able to look at her, "it's alright okay? We're fine, you're fine, everything is all good."

"Mhmm," she hummed trying to find words to say what she's feeling at the moment but just as she was about to speak up, Marlowe started fussing up in their room upstairs. She either needed a nappy change or her milk.

"We'll talk later yeah? Not going to bed before we talk about this, let's go check up on her." Harry suggested.

"I'll go upstairs, you clean up here. And help yourself" She got down the counter, before heading upstairs.

She quickly put on a fresh pair of undies and her gym shorts before she went on to check on Marlowe, who luckily haven't started up her whole cry session yet. YN was just in time. Her little tummy growled and her nappy needed a change too. It was a hassle to change her nappy whilst she was crying with a hungry tummy. But once YN was done she sat down on bed, she looked for a bottle in the mini fridge in their room but there wasn't any. She lifted up her shirt so little Lolo could have her much deserved meal, she latched on rather quickly with less guidance and her crying stopped immediately.

"I'm sorry baby!" YN cooed tapping her nose with her pointer finger. Apparently being a baby is very difficult job, innit?

You have to wake up, pee and poo, play as much as you want, have milk, play some more and go to sleep again and repeat. It was a very difficult task. Her plan seemed to stay up for a good few hours now, she looked well rested and fully charged for a hardcore play session. She looked so peaceful in her mummy's arms, protected from every bad thing out there having her midnight meal. Her life is way too amazing!

YN couldn't fathom the fact that she looks so much alike her father when he was her age. Anne have shown YN more baby pictures of Harry and Marlowe is his exact replica with more hair on her head and she's born a brunette with much straighter hair than her daddy. She's got his dimples, nose, his lips, his eyebrows, his gorgeous big green eyes with thick lashes, even his weirdly huge ears. The love YN's got for this human in her arms is so mot explainable. Marlowe looked up at her mother with same admiration, she smiled a shy smile showing off her dimples for a second making YN chuckle.

The admiring of mother and daughter was broken off when Harry knocked on the door.

"I hope I'm not disturbing the bonding between Mummy and baby," he walked in, he had two warm cups of tea in his hand which he set down on the side table.

"No you didn't," YN smiled. Harry leaned in to kiss her with his hand rested on her cheek, which was smacked away by Marlowe.

"Hey!" Harry whined, "she's you mum I know but she's my wife too!"

Marlowe is rowdy enough to bicker back and forth between with her dad with her humming and babbling. Harry was not letting back either.

"Yeah, but I've known her longer than you have," Harry argued.

"Oh my god, stop you both!" YN laughed.

"Touche, princess touche!" Harry sighed in defeat. "I don't blame you."

"What did she say?" YN was intrigued.

"She says she loves her Mummy more than me, which I don't blame her entirely." He nodded with his lips pressed in a thin line, the look of defeat.

"I'm sure that's not true, is it Lolo?" YN looked at Marlowe who just smirked still busy having her milk.

When YN thought she couldn't look more like her dad, she was proven wrong then and there. When she was done, she started squirming to get away from her mum's arms to go to her dad.

"And you said she says she loves me more," YN scoffed.

"Jealous?" Harry snickered scooping Marlowe in his arms amd peppering with tons of kisses before putting her up on his shoulder so she can burp. "Where are you going?"

"To make her bed," YN answered.

"She's still awake, sit back down." He grabbed her hand and made her sit down. She mumbled an okay and sat back down.

"Can we go see my doctor in a day or two? I mean will you come with me?" YN asked, "I don't think so it was a good sign, you know..."

"Oh the sex part? Mhmm, yeah I'll go with you." Harry nodded.

"Oh my god Harry, our daughter is in your arms!"

"She ain't gonna remember this baby, don't worry." He chuckled.

"But still," she shrugged. Harry chuckled again and leaned in to plant a loving kiss on her mouth.

Looking down at Marlowe babbling, her parents were surprised to see her trying to pucker her baby lips and making kissie noises. It was adorable.

"Look at you learning new things!" Harry exclaimed, bringing her up to rub his nose against her in a puppies kiss and proceeding to press a loving on her puckered lips making her shy away behind her tiny fists.

"Daddy's girl definitely." YN commented, getting up on her to go to her side of the bed so they can finally go to bed.

"You too baby," and he slapped her ass.

"You need to learn to keep your hands to yourself Harry, she's gonna grow up," YN shook her head. "Let's watch Encanto!"

"What? Lolo loves that movie too," YN shrugged looking at the teasing smug look on Harry's face.

"Sure baby, sure," he giggled.

YN pulled out her laptop and played the movie on Disney plus. Harry had sat Marlowe up on his tummy, her back rested on his chest. She'd held his thumbs tightly in her hands as she stared at her mum's computer. Her little squeals were very loud until We Don't Talk About Bruno, that's when she started getting tired and in no time she was asleep.

Harry turned to his side to look at his wife who was fast asleep as well, her head rested on his shoulder. He didn't wanted to move but he had to put Marlowe in her cot, he was carefully going to get up but he saw that Lilly, their cat was asleep at his feet too. That's when he realised he's got girls in his own home too, which he very fucking grateful for.

"Lilly, let's move you to aside," he carefully moved the cat aside but woke YN up in the process, "hey it's okay go back to sleep baby."

"Did I just fall asleep?" She asked.

"Yeah, but it's —" and he woke Lilly up too and she ran out side, for her late night zoomies, "— it's okay, I'll put her in her cot and come back to bed yeah?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

Harry got up and just as he was about to put Marlowe in her cot she started fussing up again, it happened not just one time, not two but three times.

"It's okay, bring her back," YN giggled finding it entertaining to see her husband struggle like that. He gave her back to her mother and sat back down, all tired up himself now. "She needs a nappy change."

"Oh fuck! I'm gonna go mental," he groaned.

"I'll go change her yeah?" YN suggested and already got to her work.

"Bring her back here then," Harry said wanting to have both his girls next to him tonight, he needs loads of cuddles when he's tired. And he got just that!

Being a dad is very fucking underrated. Sure his wife works too, his job is completely different. He has to stay away from for long periods of time, he could hardly get to see his wife sometimes, luckily he's been free for five months that he got to see his daughter grow up that much everyday!

He wouldn't change even an atom for anything. It's all worth it, it was currently four in the morning when he's got to go bed.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #x reader #harry styles fic #harry styles x y/n #husbandrry #husband!harry #dad!harry styles #dadrry #dad!harry #boyfriendrry #harry styles smut #harry smut #smut

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heartateasee · 1 month

Text

“Chapter Three”

Word Count: 6.7k

(Chapter three to “Cherry Bomb” - please make sure to read the TW on the “Cherry Bomb” masterlist before proceeding.)

●・○・●・○・●

“Marlowe Finch!” I hear my name being called across the sea of people in Mikey’s living room as Kailey and I enter his house. It’s then I look over and see the man himself, and a wide smile presses itself onto my lips.

“Mikey!” I squeal as I run over - wrapping my arms around his neck.

His arms are around my waist as he lifts me off the ground, and he twirls me around for a moment before setting me back down. “You look amazing! How’ve you been? How was the move?”

“I’ve been good,” I tell him with a nod. It wasn’t a complete lie. Even after everything that had happened in regards to Harry, I was still in a really good place. “And my house has been all set for a couple of weeks now. You’ll have to come over soon! Kailey and I have already had a movie night, but we should all jam like we used to.”

“Hell yeah, I’d love that,” Mikey says as he throws each of his arms around Kailey and I’s shoulders.

“How about you? How’s life?” I ask, and I can see he’s steering us towards the kitchen.

“Oh, just peachy, you know,” he wiggles his eyebrows. “I have no complaints though, honestly. Life is good.”

We get to the makeshift bar that he’s created on the counter, and he drops his arms from us to clap his hands together.

“Alright, ladies,” he gestures his hands towards all the bottles of liquor and mixers. “All the alcohol your heart could ever desire, and then in the cooler there at the end of the counter are a bunch of different beers. Please, help yourself to anything.”

“Thanks, Mikey,” Kailey and I say almost in unison, and I watch as he walks back into the living room to get lost in the crowd.

“I didn’t realize Mikey’s house was so big,” I muse as I reach for a solo cup - choosing a purple one as I see he has a bunch of different colored ones. There were also sharpies, so I grab one and I doodle a capital ‘M’ with a heart next to it. I don’t intend on leaving my cup anywhere unattended, but at least I can identify which one is mine.

“Yeah, he got some killer job a year and a half ago, and now he makes fucking bank,” Kailey says as we start to make our drinks.

I purse my lips to the side as I see fresh cherries, and I pluck a couple from the container - dropping them into my cup. I use a straw to crush them a little bit so the juice comes out, and then I grab club soda to fill about a quarter of my cup.

“What are you making?” Kailey peers over the lip of my cup, and I can see that she’s settled on whiskey on the rocks in her own.

“It’s a little cherry cocktail I got in the habit of making on the road,” I tell her as I grab the cranberry juice, only adding a smidge of that before reaching for the rum.

“Can I try it once you’re done? It looks yummy.”

“Yeah, of course,” I top the rest of my cup off with the rum, and I stir it all with a straw before taking a large sip. I hum softly when I realize I’ve made it perfectly, and I extend it out to Kailey. “It’s so good.”

Kailey wraps her lips around my straw, and I watch her eyes widen once the drink hits her tongue. “Holy shit, Marlowe,” she gasps. “That’s delicious. Will you make me one for me next drink?

“Absolutely.”

We turn our bodies to face the people in the living room - our lower backs resting against the counter behind us as I nibble on my bottom lip.

“That’s a lot of people,” Kailey sighs, and I nod.

“Yeah.”

After a moment, I reach out and grab her hand to intertwine our fingers together. “You know what? This is our first house party back together. Let’s enjoy it.”

Kailey smiles up at me, and we move into the crowd while keeping a tight hold on each other’s hands. We begin to dance together while sipping our drinks, and it’s then I recognize a few people from highschool, but a lot of the people here I’m completely unfamiliar with. Some people come over and talk to me, mostly wanting to know about touring, and others just wanting to know how many really famous people I’ve met.

I entertain them as best as possible, letting them know that I’ve only really met a handful of super famous people - the most famous probably being Joan Jett after a women in rock event that I was surprised I even got invited to. It was pretty early on after being signed to my label, and I was in complete awe the entire time.

I can’t help but cringe when half of the people ask me who Joan Jett is, and I force myself to end the conversations there - making up some excuse about needing to check on Kailey so I can get away.

My eyes search through the people, and I don’t see Kailey, so I start to make my way towards the little side room that branches off of the living room. You have to go through the main foyer of the house to get to it, and as I start to make my way there, the front door opens.

I look over and I’m immediately hit with piercing ivy colored eyes meeting mine. It’s then that I see a flash of blonde hair, and Rylan is peeking over his shoulder to see why he’s stopped in the doorway. “Harry, move,” she groans, moving his arm up so she can duck under it and make her way into the house.

Rylan hasn’t seen me yet, so I’m quick to move away from the two of them and continue on my search for Kailey. I really didn’t feel like dealing with all of that - especially on my own. I eventually locate Kailey leaning against the wall in the other room as she speaks to a guy I don’t recognize. I stop in my tracks, not wanting to disturb her and interrupt her conversation, but as I go to turn on my heel, I hear her call my name.

“Marlowe!” I turn around and look at her, shooting her a smile, and she gestures her hand for me to come over. I walk over, and she extends her hand out towards the guy. “You remember Connor, right? Mikey’s little brother?”

My eyes widen when I realize that’s who she’s been talking to. “Oh my god!” I exclaim, pulling him in for a quick hug.

He’s about four years younger than the lot of us, and the last time I saw him was when he was still a junior in highschool. “Hi Marlowe,” he says sweetly as he pats my back.

“I didn’t even recognize you! I’m so sorry,” I laugh as we pull away. “I would’ve come right over if I had realized. It’s like you’ve grown two feet since I last saw you.”

Connor tilts his head back with a laugh, and as he goes to speak, a redhead comes up by his side and wraps her arm around his waist. “Connor, come on! It’s our turn for beer pong!”

“I’ll see you guys around,” he says before walking away with the girl.

“That’s his girlfriend, Maisie,” Kailey states. “Highschool sweethearts, those two. They started dating in their senior year.”

I have to force myself not let my mind wander to how things could have maybe been different had I ever told Harry about my feelings for him. It’s not the time or the place to do that, and it also doesn’t matter anymore. The decisions that were made in the past were made for a reason, and there’s nothing that can change that.

Looking down at my drink, I see mine is almost empty as I clear my throat. “I’m almost out. Do you need another?” I ask tapping the side of my cup against Kailey’s.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

We lock fingers again so that we don’t lose each other, and we end up back in the kitchen. I keep my word of making Kailey a drink like mine for her second one with my back to everyone else around us, and it’s not until I hear Rylan’s voice that I close my eyes - not being able to help but cringe.

“Oh, Marlowe, I didn’t know you were going to be here!”

I swallow my pride, and I look over my shoulder at her - forcing a smile. “Mikey invited me, and I haven’t seen him since I’ve been back so…”

“I didn’t know you knew Mikey,” Rylan says as she tilts her head to the side.

“Marlowe knows everyone,” Kailey speaks up, and I can’t help but shoot her a smirk.

I do in fact not know everyone, but I know she’s trying to talk me up.

I finish up Kailey and I’s drinks, and I hand hers over as I turn around to completely face Rylan.

“And you’re Kailey, right?” Rylan asks as she starts to prepare herself a drink.

“In the flesh,” Kailey responds as she takes a sip of her drink, and I can see that Harry is also now heading into the kitchen. I hear Kailey scoff next to me, lowly enough so Rylan can’t hear, and she leans over to speak into my ear. “Am I supposed to be nice, or am I allowed to talk shit?”

I don’t get a chance to answer her as Harry steps behind Rylan, placing a hand on her hip to move her out of the way of the alcohol. “I got yours.”

My body moves closer to Kailey out of instinct, trying to get as far away from Harry as possible, and I take a sip of my drink as Rylan looks back over to me.

“Oh, Marlowe, I know I mentioned us all hanging out last time we saw each other. Harry and I are going out to a club tomorrow night with friends - if you want to join,” she looks over to Kailey. “You can come as well, Kailey.”

I look over to Kailey, and we both shrug. “I don’t see why not.”

I know that me saying that has to get under Harry’s skin, but that’s honestly what I want. I’m actually starting to feed off the fact that my presence bothers him so much. It feels like a little bit of payback for the hurt he’s put me through all these years.

“Are you two dating?” Rylan randomly asks.

I choke on my drink as I realize she’s alluding to Kailey and I, and I notice Harry’s movements stop. It takes a second or two before I hear Kailey’s hearty laugh fill the kitchen. “Who? Marlowe and I?”

“Well, yeah,” Rylan shrugs as she crosses her arms over her chest. “You guys are all glued to each other, and I saw you holding hands before I came into the kitchen.”

“Look, Ry, can I call you Ry?” Kailey asks as Harry peers over to us out of the corner of his eye before she continues to speak. “I happen to love me some ladies, and ladies only, however, we are not dating. Marlowe and I just go way back.”

“Yeah, Kailey, Mikey, Harry and I all used to be in a band together,” I state with a fake smile perched on my lips, and I hear the sound of a bottle clashing against the counter.

“Shit,” Harry hisses, and I can see that he’s tipped over a bottle of tequila, but he’s quick to pick it back up.

“Harry, how come you never tell me these things?” Rylan pouts. “What do you mean my super hot boyfriend used to play music? What did you play?”

Rylan presses onto her tiptoes to wrap her arms around Harry’s neck from behind, and Harry tilts his head back to look at her. His eyes flash over to me for a moment before looking back to Rylan. “Drums. And you know what they say about drummers…”

My stomach churns as I realize what he’s getting at, and I hear Kailey make a gagging noise beside me as Rylan’s giggles fill the kitchen.

“Well, that explains it,” she says as she presses a kiss against Harry’s lips.

“Yeah, we’re walking away now,” Kailey announces loudly as she captures my hand in hers, and we walk into the backyard.

I get a lungful of fresh air once we step outside, and we head over to some lawn chairs that Mikey had set up - plopping ourselves down into them. “Well, that was absolutely vile.”

“I literally have never been around them together before, and that five minute encounter had me wanting to carve my eyes out with wooden spoons,” Kailey shakes her head as she takes a sip of her drink.

I can’t help but chuckle at her words as I pull my pack of cigarettes out of my pocket - slipping one between my lips before lighting it up. “You still don’t smoke, right?”

“Right,” Kailey nods. “But I’m going to go ahead and say thank you because I know you were going to offer.”

Smiling around the filter of the stick, I lift my fingers to pull it away from my mouth after a long drag - making sure to blow the smoke away from Kailey. “We can leave after these drinks if you want,” I shrug, running my tongue over the inside of my cheek. “Mikey’s right wasted already, and I have a feeling that Rylan is going to just keep popping up around us all night.”

“I’m more than okay with that,” Kailey nods. “But are we going back to yours or mine? You know, since we’re dating and all.”

That has the two of us breaking out into a fit of laughter, and we’re quick to finish up our drinks while I finish up my cigarette. Mikey was thankfully outside, so we told him goodbye, but once we’re back in the house I wince.

“Hey, I have to pee really quick,” I tell her. “Are you okay if I leave you here and go? I’ll be so fast, promise.”

Kailey nods. “Yeah, Maisie and Connor are right there, so I’ll go talk to them until you come back.”

I walk towards where I know the hallway is in the downstairs portion of this house, and I see that there’s a line for a door - which I can only assume to be the bathroom.

“Fuck,” I whisper under my breath, really not wanting to wait in a line to leave.

It clicks in my head that there also has to be a guest bathroom upstairs too, and since I know Mikey the way I do, I know he’d have no problem with me using it. I head up the stairs, and I’m more than relieved to see that it’s completely empty. The only problem now is that all the doors are shut, so I’m not sure which one is the bathroom.

I try one door that leads to a bedroom, and when I move onto the one across from it, I see that it also leads to a bedroom, however, I can hear noises coming from this one.

It’s dark in the room, but my eyes finally register, and I see Harry sitting in a chair in the corner with his head tilted back against it. I make note that his eyes are shut, and I trail my own down to see Rylan between his long legs. His hand is holding her hair back into a makeshift ponytail as her head bobs up and down. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that she’s clearly giving him head.

“That’s it, Ry,” I hear Harry breathe, and my eyes wander back up. My heart drops as I realize he’s staring right at me as he says it. The tip of his tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip as the corner of his lips curl up into a smirk. “Good girl.”

I don’t know what it is, but hearing that phrase tumble from his mouth causes a clenching in my stomach, and I’m quick to shut the door as quietly as I opened it. Closing my eyes, I gather myself before pushing my body forward to try another door a little further down.

Thankfully this one is the bathroom, and as I sit down on the toilet to pee, I try my best to clear what I just saw from my head. It pisses me off that him saying those words had that effect on me - not only that, but also the searing eye contact as he did so.

“Get it together, Marlowe,” I whisper to myself as I stand up and flush.

I wash my hands, and I practically race to get back downstairs to Kailey so we can leave. Sighing happily, I can see that she’s in the same spot I left her, and I walk over.

“Ready to go?” I ask, hoping that my current appearance doesn’t give off how flustered I had just become.

“Yeah,” she nods and we both give a wave to Connor and Maisie before heading out of the house.

●・○・●・○・●

“Should I go with a red lip, or a nude lip?” Kailey asks, turning to face me instead of my full length mirror she was standing in front of. She holds up both tubes of liquid lipstick, and I tilt my head to the side.

“I say red. Be bold.”

“I like the way you think,” she turns back to the mirror before beginning to apply the stain to her lips.

I was just finishing up my hair myself, my makeup already being done, and then I was going to have Kailey help me choose between the two outfits I had picked out. One of them was a corset type dress that I hadn’t worn yet that was gifted to me by a designer after doing a photoshoot for them, the other is a more safe option, just a plain black dress with some fishnets.

“Okay,” I sigh as I stand up from my vanity and walk over to my closet. I pull out the two dresses, and I hold them out for Kailey to see. “Which one?”

Kailey looks over, and I see her eyes are immediately drawn to the corset style one. “Oh my god,” she gasps, walking over to run her hand over the material. “You have to wear this one!”

“Yeah?” I ask, pursing my lips to the side. “I have these thigh high boots I could wear with it.”

“Absolutely yes,” Kailey nods. “God, you’re going to look hot as hell.”

I change into the dress, and while I’m starting to get my boots on as well, I order an Uber for Kailey and I. It’s then I also see that I have a text notification from Harry’s number, and I suck in a deep breath before clicking on it.

From: Harry

8:07 pm

I’m less than happy about you coming out with us tonight, but I’m doing it for Rylan, because for some reason she really seems to like you. Don’t expect for us to stay out long.

I don’t even bother responding to his message because there’s really no point. He’s going to be unhappy no matter what I say, and I really don’t feel like getting into a back and forth with him, especially since I’ll have to see him soon.

“What’s wrong?” Kailey asks, eyebrows narrowing as she finishes up the cocktail she made when we started getting ready.

“Harry just being fucking Harry,” I tell her, shaking my head as I zip up my boots. “Just complaining about tonight with me being there and all.”

Kailey rolls her eyes. “I don’t understand what his issue is. He’s acting like you’re the one who wronged him.”

“Right?” I laugh, standing up and grabbing my small clutch. “It’s all confusing considering he was the one who showed up at my gig and asked to talk to me. I could’ve turned him away, but I didn’t. I don’t even know what we wanted to fucking talk about. All he did was act like an asshole.”

“Men are confusing to begin with, but he’s extra confusing.”

My phone vibrates to notify me that our Uber is outside, and we head out the front door. “The good thing is that it seems like he’s on his best behavior when Rylan is around, so I’m hoping that means he’ll just keep his mouth shut tonight.”

Kailey and I slip into the backseat of the Uber, and I’m thankful that the club isn’t too far from my house. We make light conversation with the driver during our ride, and once we get to our destination, we get out.

After showing our IDs to the bouncer at the door, we head into the club where we’re immediately met with heavy bass and strobe lights. I squint slightly, having not really prepared for having lights shining in my face right upon arrival, and I try my best to see if Rylan or Harry were here.

“Oh, I think I see them!” I hear Kailey say to me, leaning over so that I could properly hear her over the music.

Taking my hand, she starts to lead me through the bodies moving together on the dancefloor, and I see Rylan’s blonde hair as she throws her head around. It appears she’s reserved a VIP booth because where they are is a roped off section, and I see that she’s straddling Harry’s thighs with her arms around his neck. His hands are on her hips as she bounces on his lap to the beat of the music, but once Kailey and I’s movement catches his attention, his sight is straight on me.

My eyes trail over him as I see he’s got on a pair of tight black jeans with brown suede Chelsea boots and a white button up that’s open to reveal some of the ink on his skin.

“Hi, those are our friends,” Kailey tells the security guard standing outside of the section.

“We’ll need one of them to tell us that,” he says back - arms crossed over his chest.

I can see that Harry’s watching the encounter, and he smirks softly when he realizes the guard isn’t going to let us pass until one of them comes over to give him the permission to do so.

“Is he for fucking real?” I hear Kailey huff when she realizes that Harry is observing all of this.

It’s when Rylan goes to bend back to reach for her drink on the table behind her that she sees us, and she screams. I wince slightly at the noise, but she’s quick to hop off of Harry and come down to where the guard was standing. “Let them through!”

Rylan takes both Kailey and I’s hands and pulls us into the area before wrapping each one of her arms around us in slight hugs.

“I’m so glad you guys are here!” She squeals, and I can immediately smell the strong scent of alcohol on her breath.

This girl is clearly drunk already.

“Thanks for the invite,” I say once she pulls back, sending her a forced smile.

“You both look great,” she says before heading back over to Harry. “Harry, did you see who’s here?”

Harry just gives her a nod in response before taking a sip of his drink.

“Hi, Harry,” Kailey says, faking kindness in her voice as she keeps it raised over the music. “You look so happy to be out tonight.”

I can’t help but laugh at her words, but I do reach out to give the back of her arm a pinch. She yelps and looks over at me while rubbing the area with a pout on her lips.

“Play nice, please. I’d rather not deal with anything tonight,” I tell her lowly so only she can hear, but I say it with a smile so she knows I’m not upset.

“Okay, fine,” she rolls her eyes. “But if he says one thing out of line, I’m going off on him.”

“That’s fair,” I nod before looking back over to Harry and Rylan. “I’m going to go and get some shots. Does anyone have a preference?”

“I like the sweet stuff!” Rylan exclaims. “But Harry likes whiskey for shots.”

“Okay, so I’ll get you a green tea shot, and a whiskey for Harry. What about you Kailey?”

“Tequila is fine, is that what you’re getting?” She asks.

“Yeah, it’s my go to.”

“Harry was about to get us another round of drinks too, why don’t you go with her?” Rylan asks, and I see her looking over at Harry now.

I don’t miss the way Harry’s jaw ticks at the suggestion, but soon he’s sighing and pushing himself off the bench seat he was sitting on.

“Let’s go,” he mumbles just loud enough for me to hear him as he walks by.

I look over at Kailey, and I can tell she’s waiting for me to tell her whether or not I want her to come with me, but I just shake my head as I start to quickly follow behind Harry as he takes large steps through the crowd.

“Harry!” I call out after him, knowing I’ve yelled loud enough to where he can hear, but he continues to walk.

Just as I’m about to reach out to grab onto the back of his shirt so I don’t get lost among all the people, I’m met with a shoulder clashing against mine due to someone walking the opposite direction of me. I groan at the impact, and I stumble backwards slightly. I feel myself going off balance on the heel of my boot, but before I can teeter all the way a large hand grips to my wrist and pulls me back up straight.

“Pay attention to where you’re fucking going,” Harry hisses in my ear as he presses his cheek against mine. “I’m not your bodyguard.”

“Let go of me,” I snap as I pull my wrist from his grasp, and I move my head back to look at him. “It’s not like I expected someone to ram into me like that. Let’s just get to the bar, and get these drinks so we can go back to the booth and continue to avoid each other.”

This time I’m the one to walk away first, leaving Harry behind as I keep heading towards the bar. It’s against a brick wall with a big red neon sign above it that says ‘Ride with the Devil. Hide with the Lord.’

“What can I get you?” The bartender asks as I step up to the counter fully.

“Can I get two Coors Lights on draft. Two shots of silver tequila, a shot of whiskey and a green tea shot,” I tell him while fishing my card out of my clutch - handing it over to him.

“Sure thing, I’m going to swipe the card and then give it right back to you with the drinks, okay?”

I nod and I watch as the bartender starts walking around behind the bar to gather everything he needs to complete my order, and I can feel Harry’s eyes on me as I wait. After a moment, I look over to him, and I can see that he’s rolling his bottom lip between the pad of his thumb and his index finger as he stares at me.

“Can I help you?” I ask, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

Harry just shakes his head, and I watch as his ivy-colored eyes slide down my body. It’s then that it hits me that Harry’s never really seen me wear clothing like this before. Obviously we were younger back then, and I wasn’t going to wear these kinds of dresses, but even in my late teens and early twenties I wasn’t confident enough to do so.

I can feel my pulse pick up a little bit when I watch him let go of his lip to run the tip of his tongue over it. His staring soon becomes interrupted by the other bartender coming over to ask him what he wants.

The bartender helping me comes back over just moments later with my tray of drinks, and he also hands me my card back. I slip the card into my clutch before reaching out to carefully grab the tray.

“I’ve got this. With your luck you’ll drop the damn thing,” Harry grumbles. “You just grab Rylan and I’s drinks once they come up.”

I go to argue, but Harry is already making his way back towards the booth without me. Rolling my eyes, I wait for the other bartender to place his drinks down, and when they ask for the last name of the tab, I respond with ‘Styles’. They go over to the computer as I pick the drinks up, and they’re quick to come back over to me.

“We don’t have a tab under that name,” she tells me, and I’m hoping she doesn’t think I was trying to skip out on her.

“Uh, okay, you can just put these under Finch then,” I respond - to which she nods.

I see her go back over to the computer, and I can tell from here that she’s clicked on my tab and added the drinks on.

My eyebrows narrow as I start to make my way back through the people, and I’m trying to figure out if the tab was under Rylan’s last name instead of Harry’s. I return to the booth area, and I hand Rylan and Harry’s drinks over to them.

“They said they didn’t have a tab for Styles, so I just put these on mine,” I tell them.

“Oh, that’s because it’s under mine!” Rylan speaks up. “King is the last name in case you need it again for some reason. Thank you for taking care of this round though.”

Harry is looking down at his glass, and for the first time, I see an emotion other than anger written on his face. He almost looks embarrassed.

“No problem,” I respond, still staring at Harry before I turn my attention to the tray of drinks he had carried over for me.

I pass out everyone’s shots accordingly, and I also give Kailey her beer before I stand there with my own beer and shot in each of my hands.

“Cheers, guys!” I say, lifting my shot in the air, and we all tap our glasses together before tipping our shots back into our mouths.

Once we finish the shots, we put all the glasses back on the tray, and then Kailey and I stand over in the corner as we look out at the people dancing.

“I was more than shocked to see him carrying the tray back over for you,” Kailey leans over to tap her shoulder against mine. “Was he nice?”

“Yes, and no,” I shake my head. “Like you said…he’s confusing. Offered to carry the tray, but only because he said I’d drop it.”

We sway our hips lightly to the beat of the song, and I sling my arm around Kailey’s shoulders. “I’m finding you a lady to hook up with tonight. I vow it,” I tell her, thinking back to earlier this week when she was complaining about not getting laid in a while.

“If you’re doing that, then I’m looking for a guy for you,” she states.

“Trust me, I’m not looking to hook up with anyone right now. If I’m going to give someone my attention, it’s going to be for a relationship.”

Kailey nods as she takes a sip of her beer. “Okay, okay, fair enough.”

As the night goes on, I’m already another two beers and two shots deep by the time the alcohol really creeps in on me. I had managed to find Kailey a girl, Sadie, and the two of them hit it off immediately. I watch them as they dance together on the dance floor, and I peek over my shoulder to see Rylan pulling Harry up to his feet.

A few of Rylan’s other friends ended up coming as well, all girls who were definitely around her age. A couple of them talked to me once they realized who I was, considering Rylan made sure to tell every single person that information.

“Come on, Harry, let’s go dance,” Rylan says as she tugs him away from the roped area and onto the dance floor.

Kailey peers over at me at one point, and she coaxes me over with her hand. I finish off the rest of the beer and set the empty glass down before I walk over to her. She turns me around once I reach her, her hands gripping to my hips as she moves them - guiding me in dancing against her as she dances on Sadie.

I can once again feel a set of eyes on me, and I look to see Harry standing behind Rylan as she grinds against him, but his gaze is right on me. His hair is now pulled back into a bun, and I absolutely hate how that causes something to stir inside my stomach - just like last night when I heard the words ‘good girl’ tumble from his lips.

I know I shouldn’t feed into this, especially since he has a girlfriend who’s currently dancing right on him, but the alcohol has my brain going a little fuzzy. It’s also a little exciting to know that I get under his skin, but he also clearly has some sort of draw to me still if he keeps looking at me this way.

Again, it’s all so hard to make sense of.

But if he wants to try and fuck with my head with what he’s doing, then I’ll fuck with his head right back.

Biting down on my bottom lip, I bend over and place my hands on the tops of my knees, and I know that my breasts are spilling over the seams of my dress. I keep my sight right on him as I start to dance harder against Kailey - flipping all over my hair over one shoulder as I do so.

I begin to let the alcohol truly ease my nerves, and I feel Kailey’s hands gripping to my hips even harder. I can hear her giggling behind me which in turns makes me giggle as well.

Staying in my position, I dance that way for a while before I straighten up a little to lean my back against Kailey’s chest. Her small hands rest on my stomach as she leans further into Sadie.

“Marlowe, he can’t stop staring at you,” Kailey says into my ear.

I nod softly. “I know. It’s fucking annoying, but I also like messing with him.”

That causes Kailey to let out a larger laugh as she reaches up to wrap her arms around my neck - pressing a firm kiss against my cheek.

“You’re my hero, Marlowe Finch, I swear to god.”

The rest of the evening still consisted of stolen glances, and a few more shots, before we decided to call it a night.

As we stand outside, I see Kailey and Sadie talking to each other a small distance away. They’re sharing small kisses as they talk with hushed voices, and I smile to myself when I realize that maybe I really did do a good job of picking someone out for my friend tonight.

Rylan and Harry stand just off to the side as well to say goodbye to their other friends before the two of them are walking over to me.

“Thank you so much for coming out, Marlowe,” Rylan slurs as she wraps her arms around me, stumbling slightly as she pulls me in for a hug. “You’re so much fun. I can’t wait until we do this again.”

I flash my eyes to Harry over her shoulder for a moment before I’m reciprocating the hug - giving her a few pats on the back when I realize she’s not going to let go any time soon.

“Thank you for the invite,” I tell her. “I really did have a good time.”

Hearing footsteps behind me, I look to see Kailey coming back over with flushed cheeks and swollen lips.

“You’re not going with Sadie?” I ask her, eyebrows narrowing.

“We kinda agreed that we’d rather take things slow. I think we both ended up liking each other a little more than anticipated, so we want to do things more seriously,” she responds.

“Marlowe the matchmaker,” Rylan giggles before wrangling Kailey in for a hug as well. “I had a great time with you too, Kailey.”

Kailey looks at me with a confused look, and I just shrug as I check my phone to see where my Uber is. Once Rylan releases Kailey, I see her look between the three of us, and that’s when I realize she’s expecting us to say goodbye to Harry as well.

“Oh Jesus,” Kailey mutters under her breath before walking forward to give Harry a half hug. “Good seeing you Styles, even if you didn’t utter a word to me the whole night.”

I swallow down a laugh at her words when I see Harry grimacing - barely wrapping his arms around her to hold her back.

Once they separate, I suck in a deep breath as I hear Rylan beginning to yap in Kailey’s ear again while I slowly wrap my arms around Harry’s neck. I press onto my tiptoes a bit to rest my cheek against his, very similar to what he did to me earlier, and I feel him encompassing my waist with his own arms.

He’s definitely holding me tighter, and closer, than he did Kailey - causing my pulse to quicken.

Even though he smells of alcohol, he still has that scent of a tobacco-like musk with a hint of sweetness that I’ve missed so much, and my eyes slip shut as I can’t help but to breathe it in more. I think I’m imagining things for a moment, but I indeed feel his fingers just slightly running through the ends of my hair.

I can’t let myself indulge too much. We’re both drunk. He’s still going to be an asshole to me, so I’m not about to think this means anything more than it really does.

“This doesn’t change a thing,” Harry says into my ear, hand falling from my hair as his arms loosen around my waist.

I freeze at his words, the warmth that was enveloping my body without me even noticing instantly fading away. Keeping my cheek against his so I can still respond, I begin to peel my arms away from his neck.

“You’re fucking confusing, you know that?” I whisper before pulling away completely.

Harry’s brows narrow at my comment, but he still doesn’t speak. It’s then I hear the sound of tires crunching close to us, and I pull my phone out to see my Uber is here.

“Kailey, you just want to come back to mine?” I ask, and she nods as we walk over towards the car.

“See you guys!” I say to both Rylan and Harry, flitting my eyes between the two of them before slipping into the Uber with Kailey.

Once I have the door shut, and I do my seatbelt, I can still see Harry staring at me through the window - Rylan completely oblivious as she lights up a cigarette next to him. The stirring in my stomach begins to happen again as he lifts up a hand to toy with his bottom lip like he did earlier in the night.

It’s then I realize that no matter how poorly Harry treats me, I can't fight the attraction that’s still there, but that doesn’t mean either of our emotions are going to change.

This is obviously just the beginning of what could become a really complicated situation, and I just hope I’m mentally prepared to deal with all of it.

●・○・●・○・●

Taglist: @daydreamingofmatilda @prettygurl-2009 @ghoststyles @lillefroe @gem1712 @lemoncrushh (if you’d like to be added to my taglist, please send me a DM!)

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duckindndads · 7 months

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This is as good as it’s going to get.

Ep 45 spoilers

God the Close family breaks my heart yall.

This family is the most like relatable to me honestly like Glenn didn’t have a good example and tried his best which passed to Nick and all the close boys are so poor at being there for people. The insecurity of not being perfect people and just stepping away in hope you don’t taint what they have going on. God it’s so freakn sad, and common and hidden ahhhhh

*rattles my cage* The authenticity of this episode makes me crazy let’s ramble about it

“There is no fixing this. That this is as good as it is going to get. That you are stuck with eachother in the forms you are now.”

There’s no fixing not being there. Whether it’s just not being there emotionally for your kid or not being there at all. The tragedy of the lack of something is so powerful in this episode.

I really appreciate that we got to see the Stampler/Marlowe family first. The ones in healing and becoming emotionally available. The imperfect three who stuck around anyways and try their best. It’s not perfect it’s messy and complicated but at least it’s there it’s not missing. It can grow so easily and we see that with how Scary makes another memory with Terry Jr and Ron right there and adds to the pot. Ron started the breaking of the cycle and the other generations continue to stumble into healing and it’s great!

In contrast, we have the Close’s stuck in the cycle. Glenn didn’t have a good dad and as far as we know his mom wasn’t the greatest either. In s1 Bill seems to be in the same boat Glenn finds himself in this episode. In his mind he was a great dad. Seeing it through rose colored glasses. But then looking back without the nostalgia or the romanticism or just a plain ol “this is how it is” lense?? Seeing how the lack of being there the lack of vulnerability makes the whole relationship feel so empty???

Nicky gets to see this too even tho he hasn’t had as long to hold himself up he sees he’s making the same mistakes. He had Glenn around to continue to perpetuate the ideas.

Taylor is the first to point out the pattern. In some ways it’s good that he didn’t have Nicky growing up to reinforce the cycle. The way the ideas of how a father and son should be best friends and “just be cool guys” isn’t ingrained in Taylor like it was in Glenn or Nicky. Still we mourn the emptiness but Taylor can see the holes in the bucket and he speaks on it too. He opens up emotionally in a way Nicky and Glenn never have. Speaking the quiet part out loud.

All the close boys are so lonely. They’re isolated and insecure. The relationship is so empty.

And then to top it off with such a small, in my head only a few drops, of the daddy magic to add into the jar?

It’s beautiful. It’s tragic. It’s heartbreaking.

There just isn’t anything to add. What happened did. There is no time travel magic to make up for lost time. We aren’t going to get that back.

There’s a beautiful hopeful tragedy to find here. They can’t go back, there is no starting over. You can’t start over from so little.

They’re just starting from square one.

#dndads #dungeons and daddies #dndaddies #dndads s2 #close family #nicky close foster #nicholas foster #nick close #glenn close #taylor swift #taylor swift dndads #taylor swift (not that one)#dndads taylor swift #ron stampler #scary marlowe #Terry jr

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reverieaudios · 3 months

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If your characters are pokemon gym leaders what pokemon and type would you assign them?

I'm not sure about specific Pokémon just because there's so many to choose from lol (I might come back later and pick some for them) and for types I'm mostly going off of aesthetic and vibes lol

Axel - Fairy, 100%. Maybe also water? He'd absolutely have a team of Pokémon he considers cute lol

Casey - Grass type, again I have no doubt about this

Cyril - I would say fire because he likes to threaten people with it but I'm kinda leaning toward ice for him

Desmond - If we're going really on the nose then I'd say dragon, but I'm gonna go with Steel. But he's got at least one dragon type on his team lol

Dion - Fire, clearly, but he'd have a team made up of different dual types

Duncan - I kinda feel like fighting would fit him, but I'm gonna go with rock just because he'd totally have a midday lycanroc lol

Ellis - Electric, and they'd go all out with the aesthetic too, I just know it

Gael - It's close between ghost and fairy, but I'm leaning a little more toward ghost. Maybe he's got a mimikyu on his team (I love mimikyu with all my heart)

Gage - If I were meaner I'd say normal lol, but I'll go with fighting

Jacob - He'd be a normal type gym, but every one of his Pokémon is normal/psychic (plus a ditto lol)

Law - I'll say water, just because he'd totally rock a pair of swim trunks and some sunglasses during battle

Kane - I actually kinda feel like dark, rather than fire, would fit him

Marlowe - I'm kinda feeling ghost type for him too

Nathaniel - Poison, definitely. Dude likes his lil injectable experiments a lil too much

Neo - Rock type, he'd love how tough they look lol

Roman - I'm kinda feeling electric type for him, but steel could also work

Bonus: Apprentice Researcher Brennan would be water type and he'd be a total nerd about it

#asks #hopefully I didnt forget anyone #sorry it's taking me a while to get to asks I promise I'm not ignoring you life has just been hectic lol #reverie audios #the lore #not really but I'll tag it as that anyway lmao

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larryrickard · 6 days

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props from bill (2015)

y'all. i'm so excited to share these!

simon lee, who was standby props on the film is selling some of the props he's had in storage. i purchased the vegetable and meat fliers (including chris marlowe's betrayal note on the back of one--that bit was a surprise!), the 'bill' from the bull inn (because that joke is SO stupid but never fails to make me lol), and juan's throwing crosses. tbh i was a little crushed that gabriel's dagger had already been sold lol, i would have been ALL OVER that.

i checked with simon lee and he's still got some props left from the movie. and 'I also have a few items from the Worst Witch tv series if there's any crossover'. you can message him on facebook here.

please do not repost/reshare these images. if you want to share on twitter, you can see the thread here and retweet to your heart's content. i will not currently be posting them on ig or bsky, but if i change my mind i'll update this post with links.

#them there #six idiots #bill (2015)#bill the film #mat baynton #jim howick #larry rickard #laurnce rickard #simon farnaby #bill shakespeare #chris marlowe #juan domingo #still cackling at the name “roderick adish” yknow like... r. adish. radish. smfh i hate it it's so dumb (sarcasm. i love it so gd much!!!#and thank you to nat (baynton) for letting me know about this!!#me #*

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marlowethelibrarian · 9 days

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Writeblr intro!

Hi, I'm Marlowe, they/them, late 20's, not white, not straight, not cis. But I am a magical wizard. (also i have an MLIS degree though im not currently working in a library)

I've been writing this n that for a long time now, but I'm starting this blog now bc I wanted a place to aggregate and post some of my stuff as I continue to work on my writing. I usually write adult fantasy or scifi, though I guess it might play to a YA audience. I like to look at themes of trauma and scarcity and what that does to a person.

I also like to analyze and liveblog about stuff that I am reading/watching and pick apart writing decisions, so that's going to go here too.

Latest thing I watched that I enjoyed: The Fall of the House of Usher

Latest thing I read that I enjoyed: The Boneshard Daughter. Also Dungeon meshi has fucking got me right now.

Favorite book series: The Locked Tomb, like c'mon it's so good.

------------

WIPS

The Summer Leagues OCT

Status: Waiting for Round 1 results

Word Count: Approx 30k words

Warnings for: Disease, eye trauma

Project Tag | Character Tag | Worldbuilding Tag | Snippet Tag

My contribution to the storytelling competition, the Summer Leagues Original Character Tournament.

Ravi, the genius halfling alchemist and unrepentant drug dealer has been sacrificed to seal the plague goddess Irra. However, they get the opportunity to enter an interdimensional tournament with a blanket wish as a prize. Is it their opportunity to escape or are they simply providing Irra an opportunity to escape?

Available to read here:

Audition

Round 1 vs Scythe

_________________

Project: Cannibalism

Status: In the planning stages

Word Count: N/A

Genre: Queer Fantasy, Political intrigue

Warnings for: Cannibalism

Project Tag | Character Tag | Worldbuilding Tag | Snippet Tag

Currently a collection of worldbuilding in characters- working on outlining the plot

The story for Project Cannibalism centers on a pair of identical twins, separated by birth. One raised in the temple of Suyo as a talented priestess, the other a genius alchemist that has run out of luck and time and realizes they have an uncanny resemblance to the up and coming priestess…. However, they find themself with more than they can chew, as the aging queen priestess and her heir are at odds with each other, and their twin is being groomed to possibly replace the crown priestess.

_________________

Project: Void City

Status: Draft 2

Word Count: 4k

Genre: Supernatural Urban Fantasy

Warnings for: Gore

Project Tag | Character Tag | Worldbuilding Tag | Snippet Tag

An old short story, How to Break a Vampire’s Heart with some potential to rework

Adrian, supernatural cop with an unusual super power faces down a real vampire at the vampire costume contest

_________________

Project: Wolf

Status: Reworking

Genre: Xianxia

Warnings for: Transphobia, sexism

Project Tag | Character Tag | Worldbuilding Tag | Snippet Tag

Another short story, that definitely needs a rework

Agender cultivator with a wolf thing going on.

#writeblr intro #writing community #writers on tumblr #Ive been on the tumble for awhile but I tend to find it difficult to engage with social media sometimes.#this is me trying to break out of that!

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nescaveckwriter · 5 months

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Paintbrushes And Romance 🥰🐞 - Part 13

Dean x Fem/Reader

Part 13🥰🐞

A/N: This might be triggering for people suffering from PTSD!💓 Side Note: thank you all so much for the support. Much love, my bugsies 🥰🐞

Warnings: hospital scenes, trigger warnings, sadness, violence, swearing, PTSD triggers, mentions of suicidal tendencies, 🥹

......

The rising and falling of your chest, the sweat on your forehead, there's blood dripping down your face, your heart rate is going 100miles per second, there's a shadow coming closer, the walls are caving in, the floor is shaking, there's a loud noise coming from the shadow, that's when you feel the bullet piercing through your leg, the pain, falling to the ground, you see the shadow coming closer and closer , you can't make out his face, in his hands is a bonesaw, his laughter fills your ears, when he said, I've got you know, its him, I thought you were dead, Luke please don't ... NO!!

You scream, while opening your eyes, searching for the man, your in your bedroom, you look to the right side of the bed, seeing Dean's concern, his green eyes wide, his voice low, when he said, I tried to wake you sweetheart it's just another nightmare, your safe, I promise.

I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to wake you! Your voice Breaking.

"Sweetheart, it's okay, how do you feel? What can I do?

Looking into his emerald eyes, silent tears down your cheeks, your voice, shaky, when you say, make it stop, please make it stop. I can't do this anymore, please.

"Sweetheart come here, he pulls you to his chest, you can hear his heart beating, his arms cradling you, his chin resting on your head, his voice filled with sadness, I wish I could baby, I would take this pain you carry, and wear it for you, I'll take the hurt you feel and throw it in the deepest ocean so that all these feelings never come too the surface again.

The two of you, just sat like that, feeling him close always made you feel safe, the sun rising gave the two of you, the permission to get untangled and start your day.

Not speaking of what happened during the night, you get up, to get ready for the day, before walking out of the room, the gigantic teddy bear your brother gave you, catches your eye, bringing your thoughts back to about eight months ago.

After your physical therapy, you got the okay to return to your home, of course the doctors gave you a great psychologist number who specializes in trauma, you've started seeing her quite a few times in the few weeks you spent in the hospital recovering.

The first time when you actually were able to take a shower yourself, you just stood in front of the mirror, trying to figure out if what you saw were real. This beaten and bruised body, was it really yours, you just stood there for what seemed like hours, looking at yourself, replaying everything that happened, for every bruise, or open cut, you could recall, the kicking, the punches, him throwing you around, the strange thing though, there was no tears streaming down your face, no fear, in all freaking honesty you didn't feel a thing. You quickly covered yourself when your mom entered the bathroom, she just wanted to check on you, see if you are doing alright, irritation clear in your voice when you told her your doing just fine and your almost done, damnit that wasn't needed you cursed yourself. But you didn't want to show this broken version of yourself to anyone, least of all your mom.

You didn't really talk to them, about what happened not even Dean, you just wanted to move on like nothing happened, despite the fact that you knew it wasn't the right way of doing things, but that was what you needed to do.

When you got home, your place still looked the same. Like nothing changed, if gave you a feeling of normalcy.

Your parents offered that you should stay with them, but you just nicely declined and said you missed your little home, Joe offered to stay with you, but you said no, not needed, he had a life of his own to return to. Besides you were really doing good.

That night you just sat on the couch, trying to get Luke's face out of your mind, but that didn't seemed to work, you nearly scared yourself to death, when someone knocked at the door, when you went to see who it was, you saw those piercing green eyes and a heartwarming smile greet you, saying I've got your favourite pizza , you hungry sweetheart.

You and Dean just sat on the couch, eating the pizza, talking about nothing really, just finding comfort in each others presence. It became a regular thing, he'd stay the night, helping you feel safe, comforting you whenever you had one of those bad dreams, with the occasional loving forehead kiss, but it wasn't the same as before, the two of you haven't gotten intimate yet, nor have the two of you kissed or said that you love each other, it didn't really seem to bother either of you. But deep down you sure as hell knew it weren't right.

You threw yourself into work, painting made you feel good, but your art has gotten darker, and well as for writing the novel you were working on, it didn't feel right, it didn't feel like its what you wanted to write about, this happy, sappy, romance shit, where everything works out, that's not how life works!

Weekly appointments at the psychologist is the only time you went out of the house, in your own car of course, no damn way your getting into a freaking cab again. You haven't started teaching art at the church again, as a matter of fact you haven't been there since that day. Cas had come to visit you a few times inviting you, to go to church, and every time you'll make some poor excuse of why you can't make it.

And as for your best friend, Eileen she comes to visit you, talking about the college program she started and how that's going, and your truly happy for her, but you just can't bring yourself to be so joyful and excited as you would have been, in the past.

The last time your mom was visiting she, said that you were losing a lot of weight, you just said she was imagining things, but in all damn honesty, it showed in your clothing, your clothes has gotten more and more baggier, and as for your appetite, you ate because you needed to stay alive.

You've changed so much over this time, and nothing seems to be working, you just can't seem to get all this shit out of your mind, and then there's sweet Bobby the one person that really know what you went through, you haven't seen or spoken to him since that first time he came to check on you in the hospital.

At first when the nurse pushed him closer to your bed, you thought the doctors were just being cautious, but it turns out, with Luke kicking him and throwing him around, he got a spinal cord injury which caused paralysis from his lower torso area, down to his legs and feet.

You could see the anger, sadness and pain he hid in his eyes , even though the smile he gave everyone was warm and loving. Not either one of you spoke about what happened, how close to accepting death the two of you came, the two of you, just shared little jokes and sarcastic comments about the hospital food and why they didn't serve damn burgers or steak.

Damnit you just can bring yourself to pick-up the damn phone and call him, you feel just to damn guilty about him getting so hurt, all while knowing its not your fault but you just can't help it.

You feel so damn guilty about everything, not being the daughter you should be, the sister, the friend, or hell the girlfriend Dean deserves, but it seems so much and yet also while it feels so little, you want them all to know how you feel and yet you completely shutdown when anyone asks you about anything.

What the hell is wrong with me, I'm a complete damn mess! Your thoughts get interrupted by a loud banging noise, before you know it, your in a defense position, cradling your legs, crying, screaming, words that doesn't even make sense.

....

He comes running to the kitchen, saying sorry babe, I accidentally knocked over the dustbin when I rushed to get dressed. Babe? Its fine it was just... He couldn't even finish his sentence, because the sight of her cradling her legs, hearing her cry and screaming something that was muffled because of her head she hid so deep into her legs, made him stop in his tracks, the freaking pain of seeing her like this, destroyed him.

He walked closer to her, putting his her hand on her shoulder, pulling her closer to him, she started punching against his chest, with both hands, she just cried, her tears streaming down her beautiful face. Babe it's okay, I'm sorry I scared you. She just kept crying and kept punching him, but the little punches didn't hurt nearly as much as seeing her in so much pain.

The words that came out of her mouth scared him more than any gun fight or crime scene he'd ever experienced in his life. Her voice shaky and broken when she said, "I just want to die, I want all this to be over, why didn't I just die that day, why?"

He couldn't help it, the anger raised in his voice, what the hell are you saying?

I'm saying it would be better if I would be gone. Her voice underlined with anger and bitterness.

"Don't say that he said"

It's the damn truth Dean, I'm not me anymore, I'm broken and bruised, I'm a damn fragile little thing that can't even go through one day, without wishing about... She stops, she bites her bottom lip.

"What! Say it damnit, the anger and hurt visible on his face.

Fine! Wishing about dying, wishing you weren't such a coward that just left me, when things weren't as easy for you Dean!

"Surprisement in his voice, what? Hell I knew it you blamed me for being taken don't you!

"I can't deal with all this shit Dean, I can't even fix myself how the hell am i suppose to fix you? Fix us?

I never asked you to fix me, damnit, I'm trying my best to help you, in every way that I can, his voice a little more shaky. You need help, your PTSD is worse than I thought.

"Fire dancing in her eyes, the only thing I need is for you to get the hell away from me. Its all your fault damnit!

His green eyes is bloodshot with the wetness burning behind them, just looking at her, she's not that same joyful woman he met and fallen in love with. She's overtaken by fear, sadness and hatred for him. She's merely an image of someone he used to know. It looks like her, when he holds her close it still feels like her, but it doesn't sound like her. He tries to calm his own voice, when he said, lets get you too your psychologist and then you can explain them everything okay sweetheart.

"I'm not your damn sweetheart, and I'm not going anywhere,! Her voice just filled with anger now!

I'm worried you might hurt yourself babe. His voice laced with fear.

"Sharp angry tone in her voice when she says, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW! NOW DAMNIT!!!

He just stood there, looking at her, not knowing what to do.

"Now Damnit she screamed while pushing him backwards.

"Fine, his voice Breaking I'll go, but you need help. I'll call your mum. He says while grabbing his car keys and phone. Closing the door behind him he hears her throwing stuff on the floor, while screaming in frustration. Not wanting to push her further over the edge he got in his car and started driving off, grabbing his phone, deciding not to call Caroline, he dials his best friends number. Cas, I need your help, it's it's his voice breaking now, its bad, I'm afraid she's going to hurt herself...

....

I probably shouldn't have said all that, for goodness sakes I don't even know why I did, I don't really blame Dean, damnit, you screamed, shoving off the plates and coffee filled mugs of the counter top, tears streaming down your face.

My mom can't see me like this, you recall the words Dean said. No one can see me like this. You ran upstairs, grabbed a suitcase, threw in whatever you could find, and make your way downstairs, before taking your car keys, you wrote a note, ran out of the door, and just started, driving, not quite sure where your headed, but I need to get away from all of this, saying with a shaky breath, and tears clouding your eyes, speeding onto the main road out of town...

#spotify #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #jared padalecki #jensen ackles x reader #sam and dean #benny lafitte #castiel spn #dean winchester imagine #eileen leahy

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