#but a bi person can be like anyways i will date anyone except trans people and people are like omg valid

[ssaltlicker]

Yall notice how literally anyone else can be like yeah anyways this is why ____ minority is bad and predatory and i hate them and think they are automatically evil and as long as they call themselves qu**r its fine and like cool. But a lesbian could be like yeah this aspect of how people treat me is uncomfortable and makes me angry and everyones like woah! Evil! Terf! Evil manhating predatory lesbian!!!

[hiveswap]

i mean this with absolutely no ill will but im a baby queer person and im so confused as to what a bi-lesbian is?? i keep seeing people say its both biphobic and lesbophobic and other people saying labels when used by queer elders were flexible anyways but ive never gotten a concrete answer and im just lost (comparing it to fascism is fucking crazy though no matter what it is)

Hi! I am not an authority on any of this, but thank you for asking! The label can mean different things to different people, but usually it refers to people who can love any gender but feel a stronger/special connection towards women.

As for the exclusionist viewpoint, it's respectability politics. They believe that if they disown anyone whose identity can't be easily understood then society will accept/respect the lgbtq community more easily. They are trying to fit people into neat, easily digestible boxes, which is not how humans work.

A common talking point is that it makes men believe that all lesbians like them, which is absolute bullshit, and if someone actually thinks like that you can literally just kick their ass and not hurt people for the way they describe themselves. (I have also seen them say that the label was invented by a terf to describe cis lesbians who date trans women, which is, no, that's not how anyone is using it, nor is it how it began)

In the end someone minding their own business and self-indentifying as something without including you in any way hurts no one. Conservatives hate "regular" lesbians as well, exclusionists don't changing anything by trying to sanitise the community except make it more hostile towards its own, already marginalised members.

And yeah, the old queer community did have more flexible labels. I cannot give you a concrete source but i have heard that women who liked more genders have described themselves as lesbians in the past.

[enbee-ai]

gender, sexuality, and Bokuto's queerness

This was meant to be the first part of my post about Bokuto’s feelings towards Akaashi, but I think it deserves its own post after all.

Akaashi’s homosexuality has been discussed over and over again, mostly because it is quite easy to prove: he has never shown any kind of interest towards girls... or anyone other than Bokuto, so that is the natural conclusion to draw.

Now, we don’t have the actual confirmation for this, huh, theory, which is the whole point: no character is given a precise label in canon. We know Yachi has been attracted to Kyoko, much like Nishinoya and Tanaka; Kyoko is attracted to guys (referencing what we know from chapter 401), we see some couples in the background, Oikawa has a girlfriend; we have seen most of the Nekoma VBC talking about girls. Even so, there's no reason why these characters couldn’t be read as queer, since attraction to one gender doesn’t exclude attraction to more genders.

With that in mind, Akaashi was written to be interpreted as gay (and in love with his best friend, wink wonk). Actually, if we draw our conclusion only based on canon, I'm pretty certain that no other interpretation is possible.

As for Bokuto's relationship with gender and sexuality, I consider it the most complex we have seen.

We need to consider the nuances and the hints that are purposefully written so queer people can read the characters as they were meant to be read in the first place.

Bokuto has expressed multiple times an interest in girls—except, he has quite a different approach than other characters in the manga. We see his teammates and managers trying to cheer him up from his slumps by telling him he has been given compliments by a girl; he behaves similarly to Tanaka towards Kyoko; he says he “likes plump girls, too” in hq bu. Still, his interest remains abstract throughout: he never talks about his type like Nekoma does, or about girls he might be interested in, he never hints at a possible (ex) girlfriend as it happens with Oikawa or Daishou. That, of course, doesn’t dismiss his attraction to girls, which is very real. On the other hand, the implications are that there might be something more to it, something that suggests his attraction to men, as well.

(all of the panels I am taking into account are from haikyuu!! bu)

Evidence 1:

Here we have a fun scene of this boy, whose name I do not remember, sorry, being anxious about his date with his girlfriend (“Isn’t this a little too much?! A date at the beach with my girlfriend?”), while Mika and Daishou are being lovey-dovey in the background. We are presented this situation as different couples being on dates. Then we have Bokuto and Akaashi, on what cannot be defined as anything other than a date of their own. Their purpose is, along with Mika and Daishou, to create contrast: they are comfortable and used to each other’s company, while the first couple seems quite nervous (that's important for the plot lol).

They take part in a volleyball match, so there is no reason why it would be just Bokuto and Akaashi participating, out of the whole Fukurodani VBC (It is a 2v2, it could’ve been good and fun practice for everyone). Instead, bokuaka is presented exactly like the other two couples.

(note that Bokuto openly says he was distracted by the girl they were playing against, while Akaashi couldn't even phantom something like that... I live for openly bi/pan Bokuto and dense Akaashi)

Evidence 2:

Here, Bokuto and Kiryuu are being interviewed as two of the top aces. I don’t think there’s any need for me to explain this panel, but I’ll do it anyway. I find it very telling that Bokuto is thinking about guys in the same way Akaashi thinks of Bokuto (a greek god). “swinging around an axe shirtless... truly a king of the mountain bandits!” makes me go feral, personally.

Evidence 3:

This scene was actually what prompted me to make this post in the first place. Here, we see Bokuto and Kiryuu posing for a picture; the latter is perplexed, “Bokuto--that’s a pose for a guy and a girl to do together.” But Bokuto doesn’t seem to mind one bit, even when it is quite clear that he is posing like a girl would (at least according to Kiryuu, and instead makes a point to convince him to pose in a different way than usual.

This ultimately proves that Bokuto doesn’t see gender and gender roles in a conventional way. He doesn’t seem to care if people don’t see him as a cool masculine guy. He is one of the most, if not the most, emotional character in Haikyuu, despite it being often considered a, huh, “feminine” trait. He isn’t afraid to openly show his feelings, is extremely emotionally aware, and has also said “choudai” which is very amusing (it is mostly used by women or children).

(in this sense, haikyuu continuously breaks this kind of stereotypes throughout the series)

All of this can honestly be interpreted however you want—enby Bokuto? Bi Bokuto? Pan Bokuto? Trans Bokuto? Ace Bokuto??? Everything's valid and amazing. But I think, ultimately, it is safe to say that there’s no way Bokuto wasn’t written to be interpreted as queer, at least by the non-cishet part of the fandom.

TL;DR: Bokuto is hinted to feel similar attraction both towards men and women and to have an unconventional view of gender; he has gone on a date with Akaashi in hq bu, and was written as a queer character.

[voxofthevoid]

Taking It Up The Ass Isn’t Character Growth - A Rant

So, in response to an ask a while back, I said I had a rant brewing on fandom and sex positions, and well, a lot of you wanted to see it, so here you go. You literally asked for it.

Disclaimer: This is going to talk a lot about top/bottom roles in slash fic and fandom attitude towards them and is heavily filtered through the lens of my own tastes and experiences with fandom. I’d also like to be upfront that I am 100% in favor of people writing whatever fictional content they want, and it’s not what fandom does with characters that bothers me but rather how that translates into attitudes towards real, live people. Also, this is the essay version of a slow burn AU because I regurgitate my entire fandom history before getting to the point. Beware.

I discovered fan-fiction around a decade ago, had no clue what the hell it was, got hooked and dived deeper. I started participating in fandom circa 2013, and I was fairly young and also completely inexperienced both sexually and romantically. The fandom in question was Hannibal and my ship of choice was Hannibal/Will. It was/is a very chill fandom in general, but we had our drama. And chief among the contentious topics was—you guessed it—the top/bottom debate. I can’t actually remember any other topic that was discussed and argued for so ardently in that fandom, at least in those days. Even after I drifted away, I came across a few posts on the matter.

Generally, you had two camps—people who supported strict roles and those who were in favor of switching*. And because we’re a society plagued by illogical assumptions, the strict role camp mostly had people who thought Mr. Big Bad Cannibal in the Fancy Suits wouldn’t take it up the ass because he’s older, more experienced, more mentally stable, and of course, more ‘dominant’ in personality. Yes, that sentence is chock full of problematic shit. I am aware. Lots of people were aware and argued strongly against attributing top/bottom roles to personality. I don’t remember anyone arguing as enthusiastically for Top Will, but those voices were also there. But the general idea was that assigning strict top/bottom roles to a male/male couple was casting them in a heterosexual mold and thus, the progressive option was to make them switch. Strict roles also garnered comparisons to “yaoi” and uke/seme stereotypes, which was of course bad and fetishizing and we, the Western media fans, of course had to do better. Stealth racism is fun to untangle.

Anyway, I lapped up the woke juice. Partly because I was a baby queer from Buttfuck Nowhere, Asia, who had zero exposure to LGBT+ communities and what queer folks did with each other. Partly because it was the stance taken by most of my favorite writers so it seemed like a good position to emulate.

Emulate it I did. Most discussions I had about this happened in private with the handful of close friends I had in fandom. Where it really showed was in my writing. I made sure to write switching—maybe not in every fic, but then I alternated between fics. Thing is though, I did have a preference. I liked Top Will. I created and consumed a ton of Top Hannibal, and sometimes it was okay, sometimes it was not, but I couldn’t pinpoint why it made me uncomfortable. Back then, I thought I was a cis questioning/bi girl and once again, the impression I got was that not being MLM, having a preference was automatic fetishization. So I tried my best to justify my preferences, to my friends at least. I think what I said was that fandom was skewed towards Top Hannibal, and I liked the opposite because I’m a contrary fuck. Which I am, to be fair, but this was just me desperately trying to figure shit out without being offensive.

That’s the line I touted all the way until 2018, which was when I fucked off to grad school in A City, finally freed of Buttfuck Nowhere and able to actually date. At this point, I was settled in my sexuality (girls only) and questioning my gender (non-binary or trans guy). I had also tentatively figured out during undergrad that I’m an exclusive top and a Dom. Actual attempts at dating cemented that, yes, those are my preferences, about as flexible as a steel rod. Cue motherfucking epiphany over my fanfic tastes.

And see, over these years, I was engaging intermittently with fandom. I dutifully wrote switch couples. I also continued to have rigid tastes and continued to explain it away as being a contrary fuck—to be fair, until Steve/Bucky, my preference did seem to be the opposite of the larger fandom preference. But correlation, as we know, isn’t causation. Until Steve/Bucky, I continued to write versatile couples because I honestly didn’t have the guts to just say I liked it just one way. I do now but even then, I feel compelled to add that it’s because I want to see my own taste reflected in fic, so I write/read the character I relate to as a top, it's not that deep etc. Would I be as forthright if I didn’t have that reason? Would I have such strict preferences in fic if I didn’t have strict preferences IRL? The latter’s a mystery, but the former isn’t—I wouldn’t be because fandom is still entrenched in the same ideas that got me to this point to begin with.

In every fandom I’ve been in, I’ve seen some version of this debate go around. Sometimes, it’s one party saying “why would you write Character X as a bottom, he’s so Reason A” and a reblog chain that insults the OP and/or extols the virtues of switching. Sometimes, it’s a general-ish message that says they don’t understand why people have strict preferences when we all know real gay couples switch. Sometimes, it’s blanket statements that accuse anyone with preferences of fetishizing. Sometimes, it’s the same reasoning that gets you “Character Y is a top because of Reason B” transposed on versatile couples except this takes the form of “they switch because they’re equals.”

Ya’ll, I’m fucking tired.

I have long since lost count of the number of stories I’ve seen where an exclusive top learning bottom and liking it is character growth. Where a character who prefers to bottom taking a turn on top is empowering.

Isolated, these are fine. But I’ve seen enough of such stories that it’s distinctly discomfiting and a major squick. Sometimes a trigger, if I'm too immersed in the story. I’m not going to try and burn an author at the stake because they pissed me off. I am just going to close that window and quietly handle my shit. People can write whatever they want. But this one theme hits too close to home, as you can see from this 1.6k rant.

My friend (also my ex-girlfriend) and I had an all-out bitching session about this the other day. Both of us are kinky fuckers who have rigid, complementary roles we prefer and we have both had our grueling days of struggling to reconcile our sexual tastes with our ideologies precisely because of how these things are frowned upon in conservative and progressive circles. Seeing that in fandom, of all places, is both insulting and exhausting. Topping and bottoming aren’t personality traits. Neither is D/s. It’s sexual preference and power play. It really does not have to be that deep. I am not exorcising childhood trauma using the bodies of women. My partners, former and current, have not been brainwashed by the patriarchy. We will not become better, more complete individuals once I magically stop being a stone top and my partners embrace the joys of a strap-on.

I have, with my own two eyes, seen someone say that in a really committed relationship, of course the couple will switch.

Bullshit.

It’s transparent bullshit. This does not get attributed to cisgender M/F couples. Even when the automatic assumptions of woman = bottom and man = top get addressed, switching isn't presented as the default. No one’s saying “oh, if you really love your husband, you’ll peg him”. I do know butch/femme sapphic couples get their own share of shit. Because it’s all heteronormativity, right? Can’t have any other reason for top/bottom roles.

You have two extremes with “so who’s the woman” on one end and “it’s woke only if they switch” on the other, and as far as I’m concerned, they’re equally damaging. There shouldn’t be a pressure, however subtle, to conform your taste in fiction to some arbitrary idea of progressiveness. People are going to like whatever they want anyway; all this does is create an atmosphere where those likes can’t always be freely expressed without a lot of mental gymnastics. We’re seeing so many versions of this in the pushback against so-called problematic content, but smaller, subtler versions exist too.

Fictional characters aren’t real. They can be whatever you want them to be. And yes, other people will often want them to be the exact opposite of your ideas, but that’s just how things work. Meanwhile, the people behind these usernames? They’re real. No one should be throwing real people under the bus to ‘protect’ characters that don’t exist. Hannibal Lecter doesn’t care whether he gets fucked or dismembered in Author B’s fanfiction, but the discourse that surrounds the dick up his ass? That does affect flesh and blood people.

I am not claiming that this is the only attitude in fandom. Middlegrounds do exist. Plenty of people abide by fic and let fic and there are folks who pipe up to say not every RL queer couple switches. But it’s often the extremes that reach most people. That was certainly my experience, and I’m not the only one.

I don’t really know how to end this post. It is 100% a rant and one that’s been building up for a while. Bottom line is that people’s sexual behavior varies wildly and whenever you attack sexual tastes in fanfic by saying it’s unrealistic - or worse because let’s be real, that’s a very tame word choice - please remember that there’s likely someone out there who practices it.

* I’m using switch and versatile synonymously in this post. It’s mostly concerned with top/bottom debates. A lot of what I’m saying is also echoed in portrayals of and discussions surrounding D/s dynamics, but I’m not addressing that as much for now.  

[vampireqrow-moved]

um its my birthday so wait until 12:01am pst to block me if u hate this post 🥰🥰

long story short the pansexual label is redudant and actively harmful (its far from the worst problem bisexuals face but it is one issue) and i dont hate anyone who identifies as pan because A) those ppl are bi like me and B) i used to identify as pan myself.

if thats enough for you to block me and make a callout post for me then i cant stop you but pretty please either read this whole thing or just wait a few minutes for my bday to end 🥰🥰

anyways im kicking off this point with some personal experiences bc i love to talk to myself. i got introduced to the pan label at maybe 10ish years old, and started identifying with it pretty much right away. i heard about it before bisexual and it was pitched as attraction to all genders and of course trans people. i was of course a trans ally! i had trans friends! i was trans also but hadnt figured it out yet! the way i had heard of it, there was no bisexual, there was no need for bisexual, and identifying differently was excluding trans people, which I was certainly against. being bisexual was trans exclusionary and why would i exclude trans people? the 'hearts not parts' slogan was thriving around this time and i genuinely said it and meant it.

as i started to become more online, mostly through roleplaying websites and tumblr here, i started hearing of bisexuality. it was supposedly an older term, so older people still used it, but it was common knowledge that pansexual was the better, inclusive label and younger people should adopt the new inclusive language instead of the old and transphobic words like bisexual. /s

and then bi and pan solidarity was all the rage! pansexual wasnt erasing bisexuality, why did anyone ever think that? bi and pan were two separate and complete identities that were valid and had to be respected or youre a mean exclusionist. and an asexual person, hearing people labelled exclusionist always meant they were excluding people from the lgbta community who rightfully belonged, denying peoples lived experiences, and generally telling people theyre wrong about their sexuality because theyre too young. and all of those things were bad and had hurt me, so it would be ridiculous to change labels and support "pan exclusionists" because they were just as bad as ace and aro exclusionists, and they were all the same people. or so it seemed to me at that time.

then, 'hearts not parts' began getting called out for blatant transphobic by insinuating that pansexual was the only identity that loved people for their "hearts" and personalities instead of those gross gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and even straights who only saw people for their "parts". (STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE NOT OPPRESSED. I AM MERELY POINTING OUT THAT PANSEXUALITY WAS SHOWN AS ABOVE ALL OTHERS.) many pan people, including myself, began to denounce the slogan and insist pansexuality wasnt transphobic, there had just been a coincidence that a transphobic slogan was everywhere and a huge part of people's explantions of and associations with pansexuality. hint: it wasnt a coincidence.

from my perspective, this is when i began to see people discussing dropping the word pansexual. that seemed to be a huge step from getting rid off a transphobic slogan, and these people were just meanies who hated microlabels. and i like microlabels! as a genderfluid person, and someone who has friends who use specific aro and acespec labels, ive seen how people can use them to name specific experiences while still acknowleging their presence underneath umbrella terms like aromantic, asexual, nonbinary, lgbta, and for some people, queer.

pansexuals dont do that. they dont label pansexuality as a specific set of experiences under the bisexual umbrella, they see themselves as a separate identity, and even if they started to, the history of biphobia and transphobic undeniably linked to the existence of pansexuality in enough to stop being worth using. but i digress. pansexualitys shiny new definition that many people cling to is that pansexual is attraction to all genders. bisexual is two or more genders.

which. frankly? doesnt make any sense. my guess is that its supposed to be inclusive of nonbinary genders and those a part of cultures who historically have not had a binary gender system in the first place. i cannot speak for the latter group, but as a nonbinary person, its not inclusive. anyone can be attracted to nonbinary people. literally anyone. theres no way to know if everyone you meet is nonbinary or not. whether or not a nonbinary person reciprocates those feelings and is interested in pursuing a relationship is completely up to the individual, regardless of the sexualities of the people involved.

bottom line is that you cant number the amounts of genders someone can be attracted to, thus rendering those definitions pointless. people can be attracted to all kinds of people regardless of gender, even if they are gay, a lesbian, or straight. all people can date thousands of nonbinary genders if all people involved are interested and comfortable with it. numbering the genders you can be attracted to diminishes the post of nonbinary, as it is not a third gender, it simply any experience not fitting within the western concept of the gender binary (if the person so chooses to identify as such. if you cant tell already, the nonbinary experience is varied between every single nonbinary person.) important to note also that no widely accepted bisexual text defines bisexual as attracted to exclusively two genders or even the "two or more genders". i know this is used a lot but please read the bisexual manifesto. its free online i promise.

some people also claim pansexuals experience "genderblind" attraction while bisexuals feel differently attracted to different genders. this is very nitpicky for whats supposed to be two unconnected idenities, but thats only part of the problem. this definition is also not in any widely accepted bisexual texts, and bisexuality has never excluded those who experience genderblind attraction. i am in fact a bi person who experiences genderblind attraction. this does not mean i am not bisexual. it simply means i experience bisexuality differently than other bisexuals, and thats wonderful! no broad communities like bisexuality are expected to all share the same experience. we are all so different and its amazing were able to come together under the bisexual flag.

last definition, or justification i should say, is that yes these definitions are redundant and theyre the same sexuality, but people prefer different labels and thats okay. i agree in principle. people can define themselves as many things like homosexuals or gays or lesbians or queers or even other reclaimed slurs, while still not labelling themselves under the most "common" or "accurate" labels.

but pansexuality isnt the same as bisexuality, which may sound silly but hear me out. it has been continually used as a way to further divide bisexuals, who are already subject to large amounts of lgbta discrimination. "pansexuality was started by trans people who were upset with transphobia within the bisexual community! it cant be transphobic OR biphobic!" except of course that it can and it is. to say that trans people cant be transphobic is absurd. transmedicalism is right there, but thats not what im getting at. all minorities can have internal and sometimes external biases against people who are the same minority as them.

pansexuality was started as a way to be trans inclusive at the expense of labelling bisexuality as transphobic when its not. transphobia is everywhere, and bisexuals are not exempt. instead of working on the transphobia within the community, the creators of pansexuality decided to remove themselves from it to create a better and less tainted word and community, and the fact that pansexuality is intended to replace bisexuality or leave it for the transphobes goes to show a few things. pansexuality and bisexuality are inherently linked because the pan label is in response to the bi label. due to its origins, it is inherently competing with bisexuality and it cant be "reclaimed" from its biphobic roots. pansexuality is not a whole, separate, and valid label. its a biphobic response to issues within the bisexual community.

to top off this post, heres something a full grown adult once said to me. in person. she was my roommate. "i feel like im pan because im attracted to trans people. trans women, trans men, i could definitely date them. but not nonbinary people because thats gross and weird." she saw pan as trans inclusive and defined herself that way as opposed to bi which is shitty!

also a little extra tidbit about my experiences identifying as pan. i saw myself as better than every bi person. all of them. even my trans and bi friends. whenever they brought up being bisexual i would think to myself "why dont you identify as pansexual? its better and shows people you support trans people." because i was made to believe bisexuality didnt and was therefore inferior. thats the mindset that emerged from my time in the pansexual community. i am so sorry to all of my bisexual friends even if they never noticed. i love you all and hope you have a great day. this also goes to any bisexuals or people who identify as bi in anyway, such as biromantic or simply bi. love you all.

ummm yeah heres some extra reading i found helpful and relevant. here and here. also noooo dont disagree with me and unfollow me im so sexy 🥴🥴🥴

[zanademondraws]

This is just me being silly and telling a story to the internet, that, nobody asked for, but ey, it's pride month and I'm comfortable enough to talk about it, you know?

Just, trigger warning, there would be a mention of abuse, assult and grooming at some point.

Ok so, I remember when I was in kindergarden, I was 5 years old and I didn't have a lot of friends, I had a boyfriend that was just a few months older than me, I was not with him by my own choice but because he simply said "You are my girlfriend now" and he would treat me nicely and defend me from bullies, so I was like "ok sure", but again, because he made me be his girlfriend I didn't felt that much of a strong romantic connection.

In fact, now that I think about it, when I was a kid I never liked the romantic parts of any cartoon or movie, except when the characters kissed or when they were just being cute, but, never really the parts where they were like "ah yes u is the love of me life"

Anyways, so yeah, he and I were together just because he wanted to, not because I decided that but I also was not againts it, I kind of liked it with time. I was such a dorky and obidient kid, I would let anyone do whatever they want with me and never do anything about it, that's why I never did nothing when he or other kids kissed me, hold my hand or hold me.

Of course when my boyfriend would see other kids do that to me he would fight them, but I just really never knew how to feel about it.

And then I had my first friend, I don't remember her name but let's call her C.

C and I would spend a lot of time together, and when we were playing as if we were in a fairytale she would make me play the part of prince charming.

She would tell me how to act and I would obey her, because, she was really pretty to my eyes and I really like it to the point that whenever I would play "mom and dad" with the friends I begin to have I would always wanted to be the dad, that's when I realized I didn't feel fully like a girl.

C and I would never kiss though, we would just pretend to do so, but there was a part of me that wanted to do so, but I couldn't just do that to my boyfriend.

I didn't knew how to tell apart when I was with someone or not so sometimes I would think my boyfriend and I broke up because he would spend more time with his friends, that never bothered me tho, because I got to spend more time with C, so that's when I though that I could finally kiss her and not just hold hands or rin or play with her.

But then he would kiss me and give me gifts and I was just supposed to just forget about C.

At graduation I kind of had enough so, as being the little bitch that I was when I was 5 I just decided to never contact him again, so I could be more with C.

But, with time, C had other friends and she simply left me, so I was alone once again, at first it hurt but then I decided to not care much about it.

With time and after having feelings for other girls and boys I begin to realize I liked both, when I was 10, and when I was 11 I finally learn the term bisexual, so I was confident that I was bisexual.

I was still confused about my gender though, I would always wanted to dress up as my dad and be like him ever since C get me to play as a boy, even after she and I stopped being friends I just still wanted to have toys that boys had, cool boys shirts and other stuff, but I also couldn't stop wanting to have girl stuff, I really wanted to be both a boy and a girl or just a boy, I even would try to look like one so people would call me him/he, tho I never minded and I also liked to be called a she/her.

I learn different terms when I was 11 to 17, the first one being trans so at first I though I was trans at 11, but then I really didn't felt like either gender at 13, I learn the term NB so I though I was an NB, then I again identify as a female, male and as a gender neutral person at 14 too, I learned the term genderfluid so I though I was genderfluid.

I was only confident enough to say out loud that I identified as any of this during a short period of time, that's why so many of the people that know me ever since I was 13 never knew completly about my gender identity crisis, a few of them only knew that I never fully identified as a girl

Except, well, my parents.

Sadly whenever I tried to talk about my gender or sexuality to my parents they would always say I was confused or that it was a sin, when it come to my gender I would give it a pass, but when it come to my sexuality I felt personaly attacked.

At some point when I was 14 they finally accepted me as their bisexual kid, they try to buy me some male clothing but I could notice that they were really uncomfortable with the masculine clothing and gender part.

So I gave up when I was 15 and simply let everyone call me a she/her and veiw me as a girl, I would even put in my bios she/her just because everyone saw me as a girl so therefore I should accept that, I never minded and again I liked it when people would call me a she/her but, I still wanted to be called a he/him or they/them or any other pronouns.

But, two months before I was 18, I discovered the term demigirl, and when I learn about it I couldn't help but strongly identify with it, that, maybe if I was in the ages of 5 to 10 I would also totally agree I was one, or even in the other years in my life, I might have had a gender identity crisis, but, to this day I still strongly identify as a demigirl.

Because of some abuse, assult and grooming I had expirienced in my life I don't date anyone anymore, I'm still Bi, but I am only with the very close friends that I trust and that are my same age or older, that's why I became demibi, I can occasionally like people that are not in my friend circle or that I know a little but I tend to be way more with really close friends.

Because of that and a lot more I don't really belive much in love anymore, I do enjoy romantic moments but I don't feel strongly attracted romantically towards anyone, I can have crushes, yes, but again, you know.

So, yeah, that's it, happy pride! Be proud of who you have always been or who you have become and don't let anyone tell you otherwise🏳️‍🌈🎊

[imaginedigimon]

u got any lgbtq+ hcs for any of the main 12 adventure and 02 kids?

🤔 Hmm...

Now Anon, I’m warning you: I’m probably not going to give you what you want for this. But I’m going to try.

I REALLY HOPE I DON’T FUCK THIS UP, FRIENDS *stressing out a bit I will not lie*

LGBTQ+ Headcanons for 01 + 02 Gang

Tai [Taichi]

Doesn’t know the meaning of the word “straight” except in terms of line segments in math (but even then, he’s a little lost)

He probably saw the pride flag for the first time when he was 14 and because it reminded him of the Crests thought, “I CAN GET BEHIND THAT”

When he learned the real meaning of pride and the LGBTQ+ community, he was even more ecstatic

Has definitely beaten up some homophobes before

And transphobes

He’s beaten up a lot of people in general

Realized after a while that he’s pansexual himself and started painting his face with the pan flag everyday

Will not deny that he has a thing for Matt and Sora at the same time and is happy if they’re happy but would really like to kiss them both pls

Matt [Yamato]

He most certainly questioned his own gender for a while, though he can’t pinpoint when it started

Gabumon told him it didn’t matter what he identified as, they’d always be partners anyway, so that really helped him a lot

It also helped that Tai was willing to beat people’s asses for him

Has also beaten up some homophobes and transphobes (Tai has been the one to drag him away from some fights)

Wears pins of all the pride flags at all times because fuck you haters

Also would like to kiss Tai, just like once or twice or a million times

Identifies as bisexual most likely

Sora

Doesn’t mention it a lot, but Mimi was probably her first kiss (by accident...OR WAS IT?)

She was the type of person who, because she grew up in a very hetero-normative world, wasn’t sure what it meant to like a girl

Probably asked Tai when she was 15 and still thinking about Mimi’s hair and lips when he explained to her that it was perfectly normal

She never forgot that conversation

Has continuously questioned her identity and orientation throughout the years, though only Biyomon has been privy to this struggle

Finally settled on saying she’s queer because she’s not much for labels (especially when she’s in a constant state of questioning)

Definitely asked Mimi to kiss her again just so it wouldn’t be an accident

Izzy [Koshiro]

Always a kid before his time, knew how to explain all aspects of pride to everyone else before they even knew what the LGBTQ+ community was

Has PowerPoints to make things clearer

Around age 17 or 18, he started asking that everyone use he/him or they/them pronouns, and this hasn’t changed since

Everyone said “a’ight” because they love him no matter what

Has always had some kind of romantic feelings for just about everyone in the group, but nothing beyond that

This poor sweetie pie cried the night he realized he was asexual and called Joe, who said in the most intense voice he’d ever heard, “You think that matters to us? We love you, Izzy, and don’t you ever forget that”

Has decided Joe is the coolest guy ever

Started some social media account where it’s nothing but pictures of Tai with various pride symbols painted on his face and it’s blown up

Mimi

Unlike Sora, she didn’t think much about the kiss

She had already accepted that she liked girls by that point

Definitely had a crush on Yolei too, though she played it cool

YOU CANNOT TELL ME SHE DIDN’T CONSIDER MEIKO HER TRUE LOVE

Teases Izzy a lot because she has a bit of a crush on him too, though this confused her because she thought she liked girls

The day she learned the term homoflexible she thought she was dreaming

But she wasn’t

Still, Sora and Yolei and Meiko are her girls and she loves them very dearly

Has the same enthusiasm as Tai and paints the various flags on her face as well (became part of that social media account Izzy started)

You can catch her and Tai at a pride parade screaming at the top of their lungs

Joe [Jou/Jyou]

I’ll admit, he’s probably the token straight? But he’s also one of those guys who’s not afraid to tell Matt he looks handsome today

Has needed to ask Izzy a lot of questions because he’s like me and wants to know and not offend anyone because he’s ignorant or doesn’t know something

Had a moment similar to me where he wondered if he really was straight

Decided he still was, but would support anyone and everyone because that’s just the guy he is

You know how he becomes a doctor? He most CERTAINLY helps with transitioning whenever he can because he’s a GOOD. DOCTOR.

Doesn’t beat up haters, but gives them a death glare that’s just as effective

Wore around a rainbow doctor’s coat because he COULD and no one tried to stop him because they knew he’d quit on the spot

Takeru [T.K.]

Been the guy to say “respect LGBTQ+ rights or die by my sword” or something like that

Lowkey had a crush on Angemon and Angewomon simulanteously and could NOT for the life of him explain why that was

Never told either of them this though

Or Kari

Definitely didn’t tell Kari

Okay yes, Tai is his big brother, but he definitely had a crush on the guy for about 2 weeks before he met Kari and everything changed

Hasn’t told either of them this

Like Sora, has only said he identifies as queer - he’d like to figure it out/delve deeper but is too busy flirting with everyone to care

Brings 5 different dates to his brother’s concerts at the same time and they all have to vie for his attention - it’s usually whoever says the most positive things about his brother

Has done at least 6 drag shows so far and let me tell you - KILLS IT every time

Kari is his forever girl but keeps winking at Ken just to make him blush

Kari [Hikari]

Also had a crush on Angewomon like how could she NOT

Also had crushes on Matt, Izzy, Mimi, and Sora (but not Joe for some reason)

When she realized her feelings for T.K. she got really really nervous (because of all his dates, you see)

Was also confused because she was pretty confused about her range of crushes over the years

Tai came out as pan to her first and she realized that sounded a lot like her

She’s a pan baby and she’s proud of it (and thanks her brother for supporting her)

Gave a rainbow pin to T.K. for his birthday and in return he kissed her

They go to ALL the pride events and nothing can stop them

Occasionally uses they/them pronouns on days she’s questioning

Davis [Daisuke]

Tai was his first love and you cannot change my mind about this

Meeting Kari was like meeting a Tai Who Would Notice Him and that was pretty rad

But he also likes her because of her, too

The world kinda stopped when he met Ken, though

Like damn, look at those soccer skills

I’m gonna be real, I think Davis is soccersexual (or footballsexual for non-Muricans)

Them soccer players be really hot though

Always has questions about the community, but never retains the answers

The PowerPoints, unfortunately, do not help

Eventually gave up and said, “I’M A DUMBASS BUT I SUPPORT YOU ALL”

They tried to tell him he should at least know what he’s talking about

(We’re still working on that)

Wears rainbow shirts with rainbow pants and it’s very atrocious but very appreciated

He is gay. He sometimes does crimes. We accept him anyway.

[T.K. asked him if he wanted to go to a drag show, he said “okay?” and really really loved it now he goes all the time]

Yolei [Miyako]

Mimi is hot, Ken is hot, Kari is hot, Matt’s kinda hot, everyone’s hot

She’s never been able to fully accept this because how is everyone so hot

Mimi was her first love, and Ken was her first boyfriend

She never forgot the firsts

Attracted to any and everyone it seems

She likes to call herself a frying pan and it makes everyone facepalm a little bit

Constantly dresses in the colors on the pan flag because she looks GOOD in them and it’s a way to remind everyone not to mess with her or her community

Tries to pretend she doesn’t know Mimi and Tai when she’s at a pride event and they’re out here acting like fools

But she also loves how unerringly supportive they are

Cody [Iori]

He was the first one everyone came out to, like for some reason he’s that guy

Literally the first person to offer you support

One day he told everyone he was transgender, and while they were surprised, they also didn’t react the way he was expecting

They actually hugged him immediately and said, “But don’t worry we love love love you” and Tai started painting the trans flag on Cody’s face until Cody said, “Guys please fuck off for a sec”

When he becomes a lawyer, he becomes the type of lawyer to defend anyone who was arrested on basis of race/identity/orientation/gender like the boss he is

Suspects he might be ace but hasn’t really delved into it much

He’s too busy scolding Davis for doing dumb things

Ken

Can everyone stop being hot for a sec? -direct quote from Ken himself

He’s in love with all the 02 kids and he’s accepted this

Yolei somehow stole his heart, but T.K.’s winks send it aflutter

He wants them both to stop (but they won’t)

Was completely unaware that Davis also liked him (even though it was really obvious?)

He identifies as bi and, like Izzy, uses they/them pronouns interchangeably with he/him

One of the good detectives on the force. Will bust your ass if you say any offensive slurs about anyone. [Has gotten suspended a few times for doing this BUT IT WAS FUCKING WORTH IT.]

Always the one on duty when Davis gets arrested for his crimes and it’s hecka exhausting

---------

Uhm... did I do good? I’ll admit, I was a little nervous since I myself am straight and cisgender (or cishet, as I’ve learned is the term)  😥  😥

Anon, I really do hope I did a good job!

And if I didn’t you can roast me in the flames of Meramon Hell

[janedrakey131]

zukka hp au part 5

I’m so flattered people like this au. I didn’t think I’d be posting again so soon, but I had some more ideas last night. If you’d like to catch up:

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 part 11 part 12 part 13

If you would like to join the tag list

My brief, very long, not at all fleshed out plan based roughly on what year Sokka is in and other associated events:

First year

Sokka’s first year is boring 

He meets Zuko, makes some friends in his house, probably a bunch of OCs

He finds the kitchens on day 2

Hogwarts just hires people who like to cook, who cares whether they’re magical beings or humans or whatever, there’s all sorts of really cool kitchen magic though

He’s always asking questions in class and you can tell why he’s a Ravenclaw

He wants to learn about everything

And once he knows how to do more than shoot a few sparks, he’s going to start inventing

He’s going to do some truly awesome things with transfiguration and potions

And I can’t wait for him to start arithmancy

Like let me tell you, Sokka is a genius, and he’s probably going to be the only one who understands magical theory 

This just ended up being a rant about Sokka, so moving on

Second year

The fun starts

Katara and Aang are finally here

Sokka doesn’t know Aang is the avatar

I’m very tempted to have both Katara and Aang be in Hufflepuff

And they run into Sokka in the kitchens

He does a double take, like who is this boy with my sister??

But Aang’s a sweet kid

So Sokka is immediately like we’re bros now, I don’t make the rules

Iroh starts working at Hogwarts (sorry, I changed my mind from herbology) as the potions professor

He comes in on the train with Zuko who just got banished (I actually...might change the specifics)

Sokka doesn’t know what to make of that

Azula is also skulking around annoying Zuzu 

But I think she secretly cares a bit and threatens anyone that looks at his scar wrong, because Zuko helped her a lot with some stuff

I think she’s going to be in the same year as Katara and Aang? I’m not sure

I have plans for Azula

I think Mai and Ty Lee are going to be in Zuko’s year, but closer to Azula

Mai and Zuko will date at some point

I think Mai will end up with Ty Lee

But she and Zuko had a short relationship

I think it was more expected of them by their families that they date

But they’re good friends now

I’m not doing this betraying and cheating and hurting other characters to find out who you are thing

Everyone is having wholesome relationships that just don’t work out

(Sidenote, I’m changing things, and characters might end up a bit OOC for atla, and I’m really sorry, but this is just wish fulfillment for me)

Anyway, there’s a plot to find the avatar 

The mini gaang (toph isn’t here yet) learn the prophecy (still working on it)

Third year

They find out about Sokka and Katara’s mom

I don’t think Hakoda really knows what happened either. I don’t think he was in the country at the time

I also have some ideas for the water tribe/fire nation beef, but I just made the realization that if I spell everything out in these posts, what’s the point of writing for Ao3 XD

But spoilers, it’s going to be pretty angsty

But I like happy endings, so I may find a way to fix it

Ish

I have this whole idea that if Suki or the Kyoshi are also werewolves, they have really cool rituals to respect and honor the moon spirit and that allows them the ability to turn into wolves whenever they want and not just the full moon

So other people can also be born as werewolves, but different groups have different ways of being a werewolf

Also, I believe I said Zuko starts following Suki around thinking she’s the avatar

And then Sokka decides to fake being the avatar (I completely forgot when I said this would happen, so I’m assuming it’s this year or the next)

This is about when Sokka’s letters to Hakoda start going on about Zuko’s everything even more

Fourth year

Zuko (Zuko’s fifth year) witnesses something unspeakable

Sokka is kidnapped

Zuko saves Sokka

That’s all the detail I have on this XD

But the unspeakable thing and the kidnapping are going to be this year’s mystery

Zuko, the idiot, still thinks Sokka is the avatar at this point

Aang is like no

But doesn’t bother to say he is

So Zuko thinks Katara is the avatar for a hot sec

But has some nonsense logic that there’s no need to stop following Sokka, because if he or his sister are the avatar, of the two, Sokka’s more likely to give something away

Which okay, Zuko, not actually terrible reasoning, except Sokka’s been leading you around by the nose for ages

There’s none of this the avatar rotates which element they can use

Because that’s predictable

And half the fun is that Zuko is trying his best, but has zero clues

Fifth year

This is the big question

I’m not sure what to do with this year

I hope Sokka can start inventing

I want him to make some cool shit

There won’t be an equivalent of the DA as far as I can see :( I can’t figure out how I’d structure that

I think it would be really cool to see them all learning how to use their elemental magic though

Toph and Zuko don’t really need the help

Katara and Aang have always had to deal with all the crap going on, so they haven’t had much time for it

I’m wondering if I should bring in Paku

Aang has it rough, because air magic users are really rare now

So I think he might work with Iroh, because he’s studied other styles of magic extensively

Sixth year

I think Mai had to figure out she was bi

I truly think Zuko doesn’t have time for gender

For like five years, he’s like DO YOU KNOW WHO THE AVATAR IS and if you don’t, he’s already forgotten who you are

So my headcanon is that he’s pan and when he and Sokka eventually get together, Sokka doesn’t know anything about his orientation and just knows he dated Mai, so he’s like “are you cool with me being a dude? Sorry, I just know you’ve dated Mai, so just checking haha?”

And Zuko’s so done with all the random crap he’s dealt with that he’s like “wow, you have a dick? Congratulations”

But then realizes Sokka’s actually concerned and talks it out

Anyway, everyone’s leveled up now, we’re all masters at elemental and non-elemental magic (seriously, Sokka could’ve sat for his NEWTs last year if he wanted to. He’s that far ahead and magic is that intuitive for him)

I have no idea what will happen this year lol

I kind of want an invasion of Hogwarts, I know I’ve been trying not to just blindly follow the books completely :/ So I guess we’ll see?

I’ll have to work on that

I’m such a sucker for the villain waits until the end of the school year to attack

Because it’s so dumb

Like I will find the avatar! *shakes fist* But education is important, kids

Like okay, Sozin

Maybe I can have Roku finally escape that mirror

I kind of want the past avatars to be spirits that anyone can interact with

But most people don’t know how

So the Kyoshi can interact with Avatar Kyoshi as well as other relevant spirits

Seventh year

????

The plot?? Who knows yet

I do know that Zuko’s graduated

And they’re all crying and like wtf do we do now

Because Sozin’s still around and they’ll miss him

And finally Zuko leaves

And he shows up as the assistant DADA professor and he’s like “Hi, Zuko here” and then he’s like “I mean, fuck, Professor Zuko, I mean, fuck...just call me Zuko. You guys all know me”

And the gaang is all like wtf Zuko, we thought we would only see you for breaks

And he’s like you really thought I’d leave you

The plan is that he’ll be an apprentice for a year or so and then take over as professor

Toph punches him so hard, Katara has to heal the bruise

I can guarantee a happy ending

I’ll do whatever angst on the way, but they’ll all be happy

I’m like 89% sure they’re all going to end up working at or around Hogwarts (why work for the government, when you can invest in teaching all these talented kids)

One more thing, there is going to be rep in this au. I know there’s at least one aro ace character. Multiple bi characters. One gay character. One pan character. One trans character that I know of, but I need to plan that out a bit more. Some of these orientations and identities, I can’t speak to personally. For instance, while I know a decent amount about the medical aspects of transitioning, I don’t think I’d be able to write the experience of gender dysphoria and give that its due right now. So unless it’s something I have first hand experience with, most of the individual emotions as part of figuring things out might happen off screen. That doesn’t mean I won’t bring up issues the characters may have had in the past, but any that I talk about, I’d have to do more research into first. Also, partly because this is mostly from Sokka and Zuko’s perspectives, we’re mostly going to be present for what other characters tell them about their experiences

I hope you continue to enjoy this au! Sorry, this got so insanely long. The next couple weeks are going to be a bit crazy for me, so I thought I’d write this up while I had the chance. I’ll be back soon though! If anyone has any suggestions or questions, please let me know :)

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7 part 8 part 9 part 10 part 11 part 12 part 13

If you would like to join the tag list

[doberbutts]

I’ll ask then, but please, put me in my place if it’s offensive or just ignore it, I’m really trying to learn.

I’m attracted to the ‘male’ body and only feel sexual attraction to that, due to my upbringing and me trying to force myself to be straight I really can’t feel attraction to ‘female’ bodies. Im only using male and female to try to make myself understand.

if I enter in a relationship with a trans guy, would be offensive to tell him that? How could I navigate that? Is it prejudice and do you think it’s something I should change? I think I can be in a relationship without sex, but it would be fair to the other person?

I mean, those are probably questions of “cross that bridge when you come to it” to be perfectly honest. Transgender people of all genders and walks of life are all different. Being a transman does not inherently mean that his body is outwardly female- you honestly have no idea what a prospective partner’s body looks like under their clothes until you get to the “taking clothes off” portion of a relationship. And, no matter what genital configuration you have going on between the two (or more) or you, it’s best to discuss sex before actually doing it.

I have dated exclusively GBT men (with a singular transmasc nb exception) and their bodies have all ranged from fat to thin, from big dick to tiny nub, from conventionally attractive as a male body to the exact opposite. I’m a bit different because I am (probably) demi, I have no set physical “type” and am more into the personality and my connection with that person than any outward appearance, but I too cannot force myself to interact with vagina in a sexual manner. It took me a long time to be able to see my own body in a healthy and positive sexual light because of that same hangup. 

And I have had the same conversation with them about things of sexual nature. For those who had a vagina, I communicated that I was unable to interact with theirs in a sexual manner- they didn’t want me to anyway, so it worked out. For others, I communicated that I didn’t want mine interacted with- they didn’t want to anyway, so it worked out. For some, it was decided that we were not sexually compatible- some of those relationships were still long term happy relationships, others ended quickly after. For some, we found a workaround.

My last partner was HIV+ U=U. He was cisgender and gay. We had an honest conversation about sexuality, boundaries, what we were each willing to do for and to each other. My partner before him was specifically interested in a kink that I am not into, and was not into the kinks I am into. He was cis and bi. We had a conversation about it. My long term partner prior to COVID being a gigantic asshole was cis and bi and a virgin. We had a conversation about it to make sure his first time would be enjoyable, and that he knew if he was ever uncomfortable that we would stop immediately. 

Transgender people are as diverse as anyone else. Have a conversation with whatever partner you find and you’ll be surprised just how many cis people have hangups regarding sex as trans people. We’re really not all that different.

No one is saying you have to have a sexual relationship specifically with a partner’s vagina if you don’t want to. No one is required to date anyone else. But assuming that all people from XYZ group are all the same is prejudice, so it’s best to take things as individuals rather than as a group.

[thoughtsdying]

The procces of realising you’re aroace: a tale by me version 2

Realising you’re aroace is suddenly comprehending why your few friends (with one exception) have always turned out to be in the queer community at the end. Like. That fenomenum of “queer radar only you don’t realise it’s there and you end up gravitating together anyway?” yup- It happens too. Only most of the time you think you’re an allied cis-het weirdo who cares too much about something that doesn’t have anything to do with you, and who cares if you feel weird when other people assume you’re hetero (or that you have a orientation at all), you sure aren’t attracked to your same gender either. Nor are any kind of trans.

And then you discover asexuality in your late teens and it feels weirdly near you, but you think you’re trying to make it so you’re special, so you dismiss any ace feels as you being a late bloomer, and only take care of including it in discussions about queer issues, and then you feel strangely hurt when a professor dismisses it as “some self descriptor weird lonely japanese men in their 40′s created who only care for 2D” which. You don’t have to tell me all the problems in that sentence. Believe me, I know. And you can’t come with arguments except well if people feel like using it, then we should respect it, bc you don’t have the words to explain asexuality except that internet in english told you it was a thing and you still don’t know except in a nebulous way what even is aromanticism, so you didn’t bring that up in the discussion at all.

And a pair of years after that you start using demisexual bc it feels less scary and very reasonable except you’ve never felt attracted to anyone, how do you even tell it? And relationships scare you, and you still don’t have any idea of what is aromanticism except it scares you and you don’t want to contemplate a life being aro. You love romances after all

(except when you have to look the other way in any kind of profound kiss, bc it’s private people, which makes you feel wiedly homophobic when you’re watching a lgbtq+ media or your best friend with her girlfriend even if it’s the same with hetero, except then it’s just that sex is weird in film and kisses with tongue are still private people!)

and obviously you still don’t want to have sex with a girl (Except perhaps those emotional dreams of touching with a friend that aren’t sex but almlost and are very comfortable anyways it could be nice you’re sure but nice isn’t desire is it?) so even although guys make you nervous and any thought of doing anything romantic-sexual with one is a “yikes” you suppose you find some really pretty in a different way you do with woman and that must be ~attraction~.

And a friend tells you that a guy tried to sound her to see if he could date you and she told him you were ace and uninterested in any kind of relationship, and you go “why?” confused and a bit elated bc holy shit what a relief you won’t have to confront him, but also a bit of panic (that’s how i come across? it isn’t my imagination, im so obvious oh no) and she tells you, “well you are almost one and you don’t have any intention of dating anybody right now so i thought it best to cut any feels on his part right now”. And it gives you things to think about.

And another two years pass except this time you’ve started to educate yourself on aromanticism bc too many relatable posts on tumblr looking into the ace tag made you “holy shit yeah this makes more sense than just asexuality” but also you keep loving romance stories except now you’ve started to recognize you’re starved of friendship in all the ambits of your live and you’re also a young adult who still doesn’t want a relationship, what do i do? And maybe you’re not demi, you’re ace and you can think sex sounds a nice activity to do with intimate friends (aro aro aro) but not something you’re into, and you’re still ace, you’re not attracted to anybody not really. What a relief. (you still can’t try on the aro umbrella)

And you question yourself bc a fantastic guy has become your friend, and your minds vibe inmensely well, and you talk during quearentine, but he gives you some weird vibes sometimes, and makes you gifts which you ignore bc holy shit a best friend! And he has money and he’s lonely! I would also give gifts to my besties if I had money! And then he confesses to you on wassap, and you realise he has put you on a pedestal and has cofessed but already said himself he doesn’t want a relationship with you bc he would corrupt you or something and anyway, he’s not really in love with you he’s using you as a mental crutch to try to not be depressed, he knows that noe but he hates psycologists. Also, can i have some time apart from you?

So you tell him you feel flattered but that you see him as only a friend, and please can you not put yourself so below me? Search professional help. I’ll stay away as long as you need.

And you start feeling uneasy, but you think it’s only that he’s a weirdo and really you’ve dodged a bullet of course you wouldn’t want to go out with him, he’s not really the kind of pretty you like. Except if you’re ace what does it matter? Isn’t it that you feel pretty repulsed by trying a romantic relationship? Or are you just justifying your own aloofness and personality problems that make impossibly difficult to try a romance anyway. People don’t control who they feel romantic feels for anyway.

Except in the following months when you’ve finally reaturned to be friends you’re so relieved to not have that shadow above you and really wouldn’t it be amazing if everybody knew you didn’t want anything to do with them romantically? To be free to be friends and hug them, and walk arm in arm or go to lunch and cinema and still be just friends? To plan your future in a line along with those friends but not be really a committement as much as you just want to enjoy talking face to face with them for a bit longer.

So you go back to read about aromanticism and maybe you cry a little but mostly you’re pretty happy and scared about it. And you tell that friend, bc he’s your bestie right now and you feel him being bi and also being interested in you in the past would make him more likely to react well. It’s not personal it’s just the way I am. And then you start crying in the middle of a starbucks for 15 min. and you didn’t now you feel so much so intensely about being aroace, and how it had impacted you without knowing and how much you hate those expectations. And he hugs you and tells you “nobody has the right to tell you how to live. if you feel like you’re never gonna be in a relationship that’s your business and you’ll be happy anyway” and you cry harder. And then you both have a sincere conversation about sex as he has experimented it and how you feel it pretty strange and weird, but maybe you’d like to try it sometime. Just not a time near now. And if it’s never that’s pretty okey with you too.

So you go home feeling a bit embarrased but also pretty elated except a week later there’s another wassap message from him, saying he feels he still loves you, and that he understands intelectually your nearness with him is friendly but still feels romantic and it confuses me and it pains me and i would prefer to not be your friend anymore, sorry, men are shit and me the worst of them.

“Ok” I write back. I’m furious and hurt and I don’t want to see his liar face anymore. So fuck you, I think. “Thanks for telling me” And I block his number and I don’t talk to him when we met with out mutual friends, and when it’s necessary I talk as if he were a stranger. Kindly but impersonal. Isn’t that what you wanted? To lost a friend? So you’ve lost me forever.

And it became clear to me that I don’t think I’ll ever understand the stupidity of not wanting to see someone just because their lives don’t revolve around you the way you like, even though you’re friends and you can talk to them about anything at all anyway, and be there for help with the shitty parts of life. There are things I’ll never felt or do for another. 

And I’m ok with that.

[thetriggeredhappy]

if ur still taking them... 28 pyroscout 🥺

pyro tf2 said trans rights and scout tf2 said disaster bi rights and the team said queer rights and that’s what’s up, sis. (warning for discussion of past transphobia and other queer issues)

#28: First kiss.

It wasn’t that Scout was all that surprised to have Pyro end up as basically his best friend. He’d secretly been hoping that he’d get to be friends with a few of his coworkers when he’d taken the job, and Pyro was pretty close to him in age and shared a few of the same interests as him so it wasn’t unreasonable to expect to get along. It was just…

Maybe it would be more accurate to say that it was a little bit of an honor.

They hung out in plenty of places—watching TV or playing card games in the common room, hopping into a car and heading into town to watch the latest movie once or twice (or like eight times if they both really liked it), sometimes out back to start a bonfire or something for the hell of it.

But Pyro’s room tended to be his favorite hangout location of theirs, because that was the only place where they were okay with taking off their mask and suit.

Pyro had tried very hard not to make a big deal out of it the first time they’d unmasked in front of Scout. He’d been confused about what they were doing unclasping the bottom of it, since they didn’t have any food with them or anything and that was the only reason they usually did that—to sneak bites of food beneath. But then they shucked the whole thing up and over their head, shaking their head to re-orient themselves, sending their hair—he’d never thought about what Pyro’s hair had to be like before, how had he never thought of that?—bouncing around their face loosely, half-flattened but clearly very naturally curly. Pyro had to take a moment to fish something else out of their mask, a cap of some kind, probably to hold their hair down, and they clearly were trying very hard to avoid eye contact, nervous.

Scout, for once, was at a loss for words, mouth flapping in a way that was probably pretty similar to a fish for something like thirty seconds straight.

“Hey,” he finally managed, pointing at his own face where assorted freckles dotted his cheeks. “We match.”

Pyro glanced up at him, a little startled, then barked a laugh, and it sounded so much better when it wasn’t muffled. They hesitated a few more moments before they pulled off their gloves as well and set all of the newly-shed pieces of uniform down on their cluttered desk, fidgeting severely. “I guess so,” Pyro confirmed, and Scout had never noticed before that they had a very slight accent, too light for him to pick out what it had to be. “I’d never, I couldn’t tell before. With the…”

They pantomimed something up near their eyes, words stalling on them. It took Scout a few seconds to get what they meant. “With the mask?” he asked for confirmation. They nodded. “Oh. Huh. So it’s kinda like your first time seeing me too, huh?”

Pyro laughed. “I guess so,” they repeated, scratching at their stubble self-consciously, or maybe just because they finally could, and then Scout made an effort to both just move on with the rest of what all they were planning on doing when they hung out and also with not staring too much.

The jump to stripping off their suit as far as the tank top and thick-but-tight sweatpants they wore underneath was done a few weeks later when Scout had demonstrated that he wasn’t planning on saying anything, and he was only a little surprised by the plethora of burn marks and scars dotting their skin. He’d noticed an awful lot of scars all over Pyro, and he figured it was probably from when Pyro had been working as a mercenary before Mann Co., something he was aware had happened but hadn’t been able to coax Pyro into talking about. But it was nothing heinous, nothing that he figured warranted a full-body suit to hide it.

He tried to work out how exactly to ask Pyro why they wore the suit without being weird or rude. Luckily, he didn’t have to.

“I appreciate it, you know,” Pyro said one day unprompted, breaking the silence that had fallen between them. They were sat a foot or so apart on Pyro’s bed and drawing, Scout sketching out a dramatic rendition of a particularly funny pose he’d seen the enemy Sniper land in when he died and Pyro apparently drawing yet another unrealistically bright technicolor landscape.

“What?” Scout asked, glancing over at them, more obviously than he’d been occasionally doing the whole time they’d been drawing together. They tended to do this really adorable thing where they stuck their tongue out a little bit when they were concentrating, and Scout had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop from smiling every time he saw it.

“That you don’t…” They hesitated. “…I dunno. That you don’t try and guess, now that you’ve seen me.”

Scout tilted his head. “Huh?”

Pyro’s gaze flickered to him and back down again almost too quickly to see. “You keep… not calling me anything,” they said. “Except for dude sometimes, but, you call everyone that anyways. That you still try and use “pal” or “buddy” instead of “man” or “lady” or whatever.”

Scout blinked.

Admittedly, there had been a good month or two right after he joined the team where he didn’t know how to refer to Pyro, and had just gone with using “he”, figuring it would be the less offensive assumption for someone in a mercenary career. Then at some point Engie finally sat him down and explained things to him, and after about a week of stumbling he finally got in the practice of using “they” and other words that weren’t particularly for a guy or girl. He couldn’t say that he really got it in a lot of ways, but he’d worked hard to learn the rules on how to be polite, because he figured he owed them that at the very minimum, if nothing else.

“What do you mean?” he asked after a second.

Pyro turned the marker in their hand over and over again. “Back before I started wearing the suit,” they started to explain, gesturing loosely at the suit in question, laid down on the chair at their desk like a deflated second Pyro (and admittedly sometimes scaring the shit out of Scout when he forgot it was there and noticed it in his periphery). “I would try and tell people I worked with that I wasn’t a guy or a girl, and they’d say sure, whatever, who cares, as long as you can kill people. But they’d look at me and start referring to me as a guy anyways. Sometimes a girl, but not usually. And only as… as neither, or both, or whatever, when I corrected them and maybe for a little while after.” They scratched at their stubble again. It was getting longer, and they’d probably shave pretty soon, if Scout knew them. “And it’s just… I always wondered what it was. I’d try and go clean-shaven all the time, wax, I wore makeup once or twice even to try and balance it out, but all that did was make them refer to me as a girl more, or look at me weird. I couldn’t seem to find the middle. So eventually I just put on the suit so nobody would… get hints anymore.”

Scout frowned, but didn’t know exactly what to say. “That’s the fuckin’ worst,” he decided on.

“I know, right?!” Pyro gushed, as if the dam had broken and they were finally allowed to feel mad about it. They sighed hard, pushing their hair out of their eyes, even if they just bounced right back into place a moment later. “They always respected me professionally, but what’s it take for a person to get called the right name, y’know!? Did they want me to wear a stupid t-shirt with instructions on it!?” Another sigh, then they looked up at Scout with those deep brown eyes of theirs, the ones that flooded Scout with an inexplicable sense of comfort. “And I guess I just wanted to say thanks. For not… I dunno. Being weird.”

Scout nodded, hesitated. “So I’ve been doin’ that right?” he asked suddenly, unable to stop himself.

Pyro smiled at him warmly. “You’ve been doing great, probably the best job anyone’s ever done,” they assured, and Scout knew his own smile was probably goofy and stupid looking, but he couldn’t bite it back.

“Thanks,” he said, having to look away, and Pyro laughed.

“And, I dunno. There was also this weird thing where I tried to date for a while and people kept not taking me seriously, then one day someone finally gave me a shot but got all weird and just straight up asked me what equipment I had on the second date and it was the worst.”

“I mean, none’a their fuckin’ business is what unless they’re asking if they should pack a condom,” Scout scoffed.

“Right!? It just sucked because most people would say “oh, I’m just into girls” or try and like, swing it as if I’m a guy and therefore it was totally cool, and only twice did I find someone who would go for whoever and one got weird about it and the other one is the person I took on two dates. Only person who ever gave me any real respect about it could only go on one date with me, and she was only cool because she kind of had some special circumstances going on too, then she had a contract abroad and we had to cut things off. And I just—I dunno. I wish people who went either way would… I dunno.”

“Hey, I fit that bill, and I’d totally date you,” Scout said, and then realized what he’d just said out loud.

Pyro was staring at him openly, mouth a little agape. They tried to start talking twice without success before finally managing it on the third attempt. “You’re bisexual?” they asked, a little surprised.

Scout immediately began backtracking. “I mean, I, I dunno,” he said quickly, looking away, face on fire, “I, it isn’t like I’ve ever really even gotten to date any, anyone but a couple girls and stuff, and, I, thinking and doing are kinda two different things, and y’know, labels and, and…”

They raised an eyebrow at him.

“Okay, yeah, I think I’m bi,” he finally admitted. “But you can’t fuckin’ tell anyone, got it? The guys already get all up in my grill about callin’ me gay all the time and, and Medic asking when the coming out party is and, and Sniper going all “what’s with the pride meeting?” and shit like that, I just, I don’t need any more of that fuckin’ nonsense, okay?”

“You know half of them do those jokes because they’re not straight either, right?” Pyro asked flatly.

Scout blinked. “The Doc and Snipes are gay?” he asked, surprised.

Pyro gave him a look.

“…Okay, I guess that’s, that tracks,” he admitted. “But—how many, who all’s…?”

“Far as I know, just Medic, Sniper, Heavy, and Spy, and those last two are also bi or something like that, and I think Demo doesn’t really swing any way,” Pyro said. “You really didn’t know? I thought they were pretty out about it.”

“Nobody tells me anything!” Scout said defensively.

“That’s fair. But… I dunno, I’m obviously not gonna go out and break out the news with confetti and streamers for you, but… I think they wouldn’t really care,” Pyro shrugged. “If anything they’d just try and wingman for you more.”

Scout thought about that for a while. “Man, what are the odds that we’d get a goddamn queer collective out in the middle of a fuckin’ desert?” he asked suddenly.

“Have you maybe considered that the people who’d go out into a desert away from civilization might be queer people trying to be more themselves where they can’t get as much backlash?” Pyro suggested.

“…Shit. That makes a lot of sense actually,” he admitted.

Quiet for a few seconds. “Let’s circle back around to that part where you said you’d totally go for someone like me,” Pyro said suddenly.

Scout pulled his hat down over his face, feeling it go red again. “Shut the fuck up, dude,” he protested, annoyed at how whiny it came out. “I didn’t mean to say it out loud.”

“Do you think about making out with me a lot?” Pyro asked, tone clearly teasing now, and Scout groaned.

“Oh my god, shut up,” he muttered. “I come out to you and you just start fuckin’ bullying me? That’s the play?”

“Duh,” Pyro laughed, and pinched his cheek, making him flush further as he batted their hand away.

“I’m just sayin’ that you’re good-looking and funny and anyone would be lucky to date you, okay?” Scout finally said, trying not to let more embarrassment flood through his voice.

That got Pyro to grin sheepishly, picking up their drawing again. “You’re sweet,” was all they managed to reply with, quieter now.

“The sweetest guy on the planet,” Scout agreed, picking up his own drawing as well, and Pyro elbowed him in the ribs, making him squawk.

He ended up coming out to Engie offhandedly during their lunch break about a week later, and he only even managed it because Pyro was sitting and eating next to him, their knee pressing into his own and bringing him enough comfort to broach the topic. Engie was immediately supportive, and ended the conversation with a pat on his shoulder and by saying he was proud of him for having to courage to say something.

That gave Scout a burst of confidence, and he ended up dragging Pyro around for the rest of the day as he came out to other teammates as well, first Demo and Soldier right after battle (Soldier needed an additional few moments of explanation but overall they were both glad to hear the news), then Medic and Heavy where they were sitting playing chess in the common room (once Heavy got past the language barrier, he offered Scout a solemn high-five in solidarity, which he accepted gratefully). Sniper was reserved for the next day, outside where he was setting up the grill to take his turn making the team dinner (he was a little awkward for a moment, clearly a bit confused and not having expected anyone to come talk to him, but once he caught on to what Scout was saying he offered one of his rare smiles and a few supportive words). 

Oddly enough, Spy was the one that made him the most nervous for reasons he couldn’t pin down, maybe partially because he didn’t bring Pyro along, but he probably handled it the most easily, treating it as no big deal at all, simply pausing for a moment before giving a flippant “Alright. Was that all, mon ami?” and shooing him back out of his smoking room shortly after.

“Look at you,” Pyro said appraisingly when he showed up to hang out in their room, clapping him on the shoulder, clearly noticing the fact that he was practically glowing.

“Didn’t even get beat up or shoved in a locker,” he said cheerfully.

Pyro looked at him for another second or two before they finally just swept him up in a hug, squeezing him almost too-tight in their excitement. “I’m so proud of you!” they exclaimed softly, and he returned the hug, burying his face in their hair when he became sure that he wouldn’t get in trouble for it, surprised and delighted by how very nice it smelled. Vanilla-y and a little coconut-y, warm like everything else about them.

It was only through the combination of circumstances—riding the nervous high from being newly-out for the first time in his life, and being all wrapped up in a hug with his best friend, and his nose being greeted by the smell of the very appealing shampoo they apparently used—that he got the exact level of confidence to do what he did next. They pulled away from the hug finally to look up at him with that same proud smile, and he leaned down and kissed them square on the mouth.

It was three or four seconds before he pulled away again with a tiny, almost-inaudible little smeck. He smiled down at them, feeling the wildly spinning combination of euphoria and fear and excitement and apprehension and thrill and terror swirling around in his chest. Their lips were slightly parted, and they stared up at him with wonder. If he ever drew the moment, he would probably draw Pyro’s pupils in the shape of little hearts, the way they were looking at him just then.

“Oh,” they said breathlessly, and laughed a little. “So you were serious when you said you’d go for someone like me, then?”

Scout laughed, couldn’t stifle it, rising up through his chest alongside his heart. “Yeah, duh,” he said, voice tinted a little higher than usual.

“Well shit, then get back down here,” Pyro said, and tugged on his shirt, and he readily obliged.

[iaraiumi]

Do you 👉👈 mind telling us more about your ocs ?

oo i wasn’t expecting anyone to become interested in them hahah im glad you asked ❤️

ok so i was like 12/13 when i invented them for this fanfic i was writing with my friend, so they’re not very developed (for example they don’t even have last names lol) but here are some things i remember about them:

is mostly going to be me roasting my younger self for not knowing how to create good characters

in order we have savannah, ryan and jade (i didn’t know a lot of names in english so i literally googled baby girl/boy names for this and now i can’t think of them with different names 😭)

savannah is a daughter of aphrodite, she’s a lesbian who’s a bit of a social butterfly and also very intelligent, a softie

ryan is a son of apollo (omg who would’ve guessed, a blond guy is a son of apollo 😱) he’s a trans guy and the human version of a golden retriever, a little dumb but very loveable

jade is a daughter of nemesis, she was like the Main Character whose biggest personality trait was being bi and traumatized hsjk like she was going through some angsty stuff and had trouble connecting with other people (except savannah who had been her only friend for years)

ok so the story started with jade going on a mission with ryan or sum but she didn’t want to go because she hates 🤪 people 😡😡 but little did she know she was about to fall in love with the dumbass.. so at the beggining they did not get along bc jade kept being rude and ryan overly enthusiastic. even tho she acts distant and mean, ryan starts liking her first, but tries his best to hide it. with time tho jade started liking him bc he’s adorable and bla bla bla now they’re dating (but it was this like slow burn, they’re both idiots who don’t realize the other likes them back kinda thing)

savannah was best friends with jade before the mission thing and was also friends with ryan because they used to play volleyball together, so she was hoping that they had become friends while away but instead they’re acting like they don’t know each other. however, she is the first one to notice that there’s something else there and tries her best to get them to talk to each other (it works and the three of them become besties for life 😝😝🥰). years after we wrote the fic, i was telling this other friend of mine about them and she created her own character for the story, catalina, who would be savanna’s girlfriend, but all i remember from her is her name and her appearance 😔💔 anyways, they are happy together 🥺

um i think that’s it?? like that’s all i can remember about them now jsjsk sorry

[reaching-for-roses]

"Not like other girls"

If you're like me, I'm sure you've heard this before and maybe even said it about yourself. I have said this about myself before. There are lots of reasons why someone might feel this way. Maybe they feel more connected to their masculinity. Maybe they get along better with guys. Could be they are trying to impress someone; fit in with a certain group. Or on the flip side, they don't feel they fit in with the "girly-girls" and see themselves as different; special.

Here's why I don't say this about myself anymore: This kind of thinking can be toxic, and comes from a place of insecurity.

I always felt more at home hanging out with guys than with that certain type of girl. You know the ones.. the beautiful popular girls who always seem perfect, like they have their lives together. They're the ones who get all the dates and all the attention. Meanwhile people like me (shy tomboys, who don't think of themselves as pretty) are basically invisible in comparison.

Making comparisons to other people, in general, can be pretty harmful to your self esteem.

But you don't always see that when it's happening. It doesn't help when some of these girls can be bullies or Mean Girls ™. It can make a person bitter and resentful. I tried as hard as I could to distance myself from anything I perceived as too feminine. I stayed away from romance novels, rom-coms, bright colors, glitter, pop music, dresses and skirts, and being friends with girls who liked these things. Instead I filled my life with everything I thought boys would like. I wanted to be one of the guys.

A lot of that stemmed from my insecurities. Deep down I felt I wasn't pretty enough, or good enough to like these things. If I could just fit in with guys then maybe they would see that I would make an awesome girlfriend, since I'm "not like other girls". I could be the smart one. The bad-ass. The one they played video games with. Anything to gain some approval.

Some of it also came from my own arrogance. I wasn't Basic like those girls. I was unique. I didn't waste my time with popular mainstream things like they did. I was deeper than that, more intelligent, more interesting.

Since I've grown some, done a ton of self discovery (and I hope improvement), my views have changed.

I've met so many of that type of "perfect" girl over the years. Almost all of them have been lovely to me. Of course there are always exceptions and you will always meet assholes in life, no matter what their gender identity, but real life isn't like high school. Those girls and I had way more in common than I thought we did. Sometimes all it took for me to see that was a different environment, or for one of us to reach out and try to make friends.

Some time back, I came out as bi. Which further explained why I was sometimes so uncomfortable around those pretty girls (Duh!) and why I felt like I didn't always fit in.

I went from being Wiccan to being a Hellenic Polytheist. With that came a lot of spiritual changes. Hestia helped me use my creativity to make my house a cozy place to be. She helped me get in touch with my maternal side. She showed me how difficult, yet rewarding it can be to care for your family and provide a safe and loving environment for them.

Before that, I met Aphrodite. It was like she was determined to rip my life to shreds and build me up anew. Everything has changed since she made herself known to me.

Although I had started some of these changes on my own, she was the one who really set everything into motion and the way she did it was kind of funny..

On a surface level, I began to realize that my personal aesthetic was slowly changing. I became interested in make-up, glitter, dressing more feminine. The apartment I had at the time was slowly but surely being filled with items I had "picked out for her" because I thought she would like them. It seemed like everything I owned had floral prints, bright colors, sparkles, gold, pink flamingos, kitty cats, hearts and rose-scented EVERYTHING.

One day I looked around and realized that though I may have begun to decorate this way for her.. I enjoyed it just as much. And why the hell shouldn't I??

It was like she smacked me upside the head with this realization: You like what you like! It doesn't matter how "basic" it may be. Who gives a fuck if anyone else likes it? Never let anyone (including yourself!) make you feel lesser just because of what you like. You aren't just a silly girl, or a wussy boy. You aren't childish or weak because you happen to like "girly" things. And who says they're only for girls anyway? Why can't boys or enby folks or trans people like these things? Gender identity is what you make of it. Give yourself permission to be whoever you want to be.

Aphrodite let me see how toxic my behavior had been. She showed me that I didn't need a man to be happy or complete. That my arrogance was not helping me, and neither were my insecurities. She showed me that I was worthy of love. A love that was real, and not just a fancy lie I told myself. Most of all, she helped me understand that I am perfect just the way I am. I am like other girls! I don't have to deny that anymore just to feel special and wanted. And you know what? That is beautiful.

[samrosemodblog]

I already know the sexuality headcanons for the Dazzlings, Sci-Twi and Sunset in AA, but what are your sexuality headcanons for the other EQG characters?

I mean, usually if I don’t have any particular headcanon for anyone’s sexuality, I pretty much default to them being bi/pan. It just makes it a lot easier in the long run for me if the characters are flexible either for shipping or porn. No real need to have gender or sexuality politics with any fictional character if everything is a-ok from the beginning.

That being said, even as a non-cis-het person myself, I recognize that the vast majority of people around me either ARE Cishet, or lean strongly that way even if they have some interest in others of the same gender/sex. 

For instance, I considered myself straight for the longest time because I had no interest in Men, long before I knew about being Bi-Gender. However, I did eventually find two different men who I was like “Oh, you know what? Dating these two is actually a semi-attractive proposition. I’m still not like, super-sexually attracted to them, but romantically? Hell yeah!” And even then, with me currently dating both 1 girl and 1 guy respectively, I wouldn’t call myself traditionally attracted to Men, and for most people that would generally translate to as ‘Still straight but with an exception’.

So really, I don’t do a whole lot of “Oh this person is straight, this person is gay, they’re trans, etc etc” like I know a lot of people around me who are also LGBT do, I just tend to go with what feels right.

The idea of locking a character out from being shipped/together with another person because of gender or sexuality doesn’t really gel with me, simply because, well, the internet is the internet and they’ll do whatever they want anyway, but also just that, doing so limits story telling and fandom potential. Why limit characters to something so arbitrary?

Usually because it’s more relatable to the individual who is doing so, but as I said, that’s not really how I flow.

But I suppose this isn’t really an answer to the question. So to give a more ‘definitive’ answer for you on how I feel, here’s what I would headcanon for the other Main 7, plus whoever else crops up in my head:

Pinkie Pie I would generally be openly Pan. Gender or sexuality don’t matter to her as long as she can make you happy. Also the most likely to have an open relationship and see sex as fun and something to celebrate, not shun or be shamed of. Sex to her would not lessen a woman’s ‘value’.

Rarity would probably be my ‘Straight girl with an Exception’ clause. She’s the one seen to be the MOST boy crazy, and I don’t think it’s because ‘She’s confused/conditioned’ or anything like that. I think she genuinely loves boys and would happily have taken a partner. Especially in EQG though, I think Applejack would be her exception. The one girl she’s like “Oh heavens yes I would totally date her!” 

Rainbow Dash is probably Bi, but leans more heavily towards girls. Its easy to look at her having the pride flag for hair and think she’s the gayest character to ever gay, but honestly I really could see her going either way. For Rainbow Dash, I find it more a matter of finding someone either compatible, or a balancing foil to her. Someone has to make sure Rainbow’s not hurting herself in a way that also doesn’t annoy or upset her.

Fluttershy is the one I would likely make the most traditionally lesbian, if for no other reason than to ensure the FlutterDash shipping. Funnily enough though, it definitely feels like Fluttershy has the MOST straight ships of any of the main girls, and here I am doing the opposite. I guess most people just see her quiet, shy nature as being the most likely to be the ‘traditional home maker’ and as such would have a working husband while she takes care of the home. Straight definitely works for her, but FlutterDash is my 4ever OTP, so yeah, I would go this route personally.

Applejack is interesting as I think it changes depending on the universe. MLP, she’s absolutely straight in my book, and looking for a hard working man that would work beside her on the farm for the rest of her life and make sure the next generation of Apple Family is just as large as her family was. In EQG, I would also make her ‘Straight with an Exception’, that exception being Rarity. There’s less to tie AJ down to the traditional farm life and requiring her to build up a family, so it just feels a lot more natural that way.

Starlight Glimmer I would classify Demisexual. No clear attraction to either side, but if you form a close knit bond with her, she’s much more likely to feel romantic and sexual attraction to her. This is what would say make StarTrix work better than StarBurst, since it was shown just how MUCH Starlight and Sunburst had drifted apart over the years.

Trixie ...Honestly I feel like Trixie would best fit the flamboyant lesbian more than anyone lol. Like she is surprisingly shy and private in her down time, but for an audience she’s always putting on a show, being axtravagent, and she would absolutely be the kind of person to paint her cutie mark on her lovers face for a show to tell the audience ‘By the way, she’s mine so back off’. 

Mind you, in SSD Sunset is a pure Lesbian with SciTwi being Bi, and in my own headcanons Sunset is Bi as hell, and SciTwi would likely just be straight lol. Princess Twilight is the one I would more likely have be Bi/Pan and make the duplicates be varied greatly for that.

So I hope that answers the question, and also explains how none of these ‘answers’ are strict or definitive. Ship whoever you want, make them any gender/sexuality you want, because fan content is all about making content that YOU want to see and YOU relate to! There are very few ways to do that wrong, and almost all of them involve hurting real people.

[soulvomit]

I feel like identifying as non-binary would totally be impossible with how my life is set up. I do business with fairly square people in my own age group and older. I'm in a heterosexual-presenting relationship with a heterosexually identified man.

In the social group I'm adjacent to that's accepting of and encouraging of non-binary identity, I'm "othered" for other reasons (being Jewish, being over 35, and actually not being geeky/fannish enough.) And I'm not androgynous the "right" way (the young, skinny, Manic Pixie Dream Person art student way) for them.

I don't know, sometimes, where I fit.

It might have been different 20 years ago when I was mostly among LGBTQ people, except *then* I wondered if I was trans (possibly because this conversation was just not happening yet).

Even then, I wasn't gender non-conforming in the *right* ways. I wasn't a butch lesbian with a nonetheless homosocial social setup, who prioritized women in every part of my life. I was a snarky bisexual computer nerd who had mostly male friends and liked lots of "guy" media. I felt pressure to identify as lesbian from my 20s, believe it or not, mostly for the sake of the comfort of women - especially my male friends' spouses and partners - but also because of the "sibling" dynamic I had with *men* and not wanting to give that up in order to date them.

One reason I didn't date much is because it was a confusing mess and being in *any* relationships, fucked with my sense of identity and self, even though I've no desire to change my body or dress like a man. I dated a lot of guys in my teens but had fucked up dynamics with them, because I wasn't the kind of woman they were expected to be with by their entire social world. Whenever a guy liked me, he also expected to change me. It was just constantly humiliating and debasing and I got sick of it and preferred a sibling dynamic with men. But then I discovered that I wasn't womaning right for lesbian and even bi women, either. Whenever anyone did like me it so often conflicted with their assumptions about themselves and their sexual orientation and *that* got old quickly.

For a long time, my gender was my job, as long as I picked the right job. I couldn't do front-facing service jobs without being nitpicked to death about gender conformity stuff and I wish people understood that this is not about how one wears their hair. It's about stuff like facial expressions, body movements, how one speaks, etc, and when you're a woman who isn't gender conforming then you risk being seen as uncooperative/unlikable. My voice was nitpicked to death. It's a reason I thought I had Asperger's for a long time.

What helped was discovering that I got on better in environments where women are allowed to have a "serious" persona. Computers in the 90s, were a great environment. But a big reason I couldn't go back in, is because of the MPDG persona being so compulsory among women geeks/nerds now in ways that it wasnt in the 90s, and it being reeeeeally amplified in nerdy/geeky environments. The one environment I was accepted in, I now feel chased out of. I feel like I'm supposed to have a bright hair color, giggle a lot, talk like I've been sucking helium, and bounce around like I drank 4 Rockstar drinks. (Has anyone considered that this is ageist, btw, and an ageist performance that's required of lots of LGBTQ people and women in some environments, but *not* cis men, *ever?* In every environment I've been in where this is expected, cis men got to just be reserved dudes in polo shirts. There is NO unmarked manner of presentation for any other group. Maybe I'll even venture as far as to say cis het men.)

Another great environment was health because tbh I experience much less of the skin crawling in very ethnically and socially diverse spaces, less being held to one specific (white, upper middle class) behavioral standard. The women I did work with in those spaces? Super down to earth, we got along great! I could be a totally serious person. The requirements for being seen as nice and likable as a woman in health care are different from the requirements in customer service. Also: SCRUBS AND UNIFORMS. Some women wear hypergendered scrubs, but I could wear black, tan, or blue and it wasn't a big deal because plenty of women wore those, too. It was the only space where there was actually a gender neutral standard of any kind.

I'm in art now and it's a *major* cause of absolute skin crawling discomfort, because male artists can look like anything but there's a *very* gendered performance that's popular with female artists - the young manic pixie dream girl with a high voice.

And I have to market *myself* which is filling me with absolute dread.

I want to disappear from the world, I can't just be in the world as myself as any kind of public figure (and I can't just be in the world as myself anymore, anyway, because of the social space I now move in. At least business clothes and business spaces give me a way to make my private self private, because of weird social rules around people in business dress and business spaces. A businessperson or professional is allowed to be impersonal and have a closely guarded private self, to a much greater degree.)

[muttever]

"you dont have to change your label to date nonbinary people! you can keep your monosexual label, that doesnt mean youre misgendering your partner!”

i keep seeing this take and i just... nope. nothing has made me buy it. if your label is “i am (exclusively*) attracted to men” and your partner isnt a man, i dont know how see this as anything BUT misgendering your partner

(tw. sexual assault)

* and it is exclusive, monosexuals cling to the purity of their labels like their lives depend on it, and anyone who doesnt conform well enough is called an appropriative bigot who just wants to be kweer and blamed for everything bad that happens to them ie “you make men think les/bians are ~accessible~ to men so its your fault we get raped!!!” or “you cant call yourself gay if youre bi, thats erasure!!!” (im really sick of people forcing words on us as an umbrella but then denying us the right to use the words for ourselves, but i digress)

but it really ends up feeling like “ew, i like my label too much and i cant be one of those gross bis, and youre basically a man/woman anyway. its not like anyone can tell youre nonbinary just by looking” (and it would feel less like this if everyone defending the above statements didnt literally say “its not like someone can know your gender by looking.” so. its not misgendering because people cant help misgendering me? lol ok)

anyway, they always show their true feelings when they see nonbinary people in relationships that are “straight passing”. they always just see us as our agab or as diet trans men/women

obviously if a nonbinary person is ok with how their partner identifies, its not my place or anyone elses to say anything, but im really. really. tired of seeing this bullshit peddled out as a way of assuaging the guilt of binary people so they dont even have to think about it

thinking about your labels isnt a bad thing. it isnt something to be avoided at all costs. you SHOULD think deeply about your labels. even if it comes down to “im a monosexual with an exception”, thats FAR more respectful than going “well you LOOK like a man/woman” and moving on

our language is incredibly biased against anything outside the binary, the least you could do is show a little effort