#but also it's angst and i hate writing angst it feels so embarrassing somehow | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jasmines-library · 2 months

Note

👀 'tis me, i loved the other one so much ❤️❤️❤️, and am back with this wAcky idea muahahaaa:

batboy (you choose) x villain!reader

they are supposed to hate each other because of circumstances (you choose) BUT they got caught in a fight and are working together. after that fight, batboy finds that reader is actually a HUGE softie, and has never really had relationships, and when batboy does find out, he teases reader to embarrassment. they end up falling in love they kiss and fluffy things, under the moonlight, but then reader goes spiraling. like- is it safe to do this? is it okay to show weakness like that? will they put batboy in danger? and they are on the verge of a panic attack. they run away from batboy, which breaks both of them 🥹. reader avoids batboy for months, not really coping with their feelings, having panic attacks every night and all. and then one night, batboy sees reader fighting in an alley. reader takes out the thugs quickly and batboy approaches, and he can see through reader's eyes a whirlwind of emotions and it breaks his heart... and then they somehow make up and a lot of fluff pleeasee <3 (omg it's not totally angst 🥹)

ilyyy muah! (platonic ofc 😘)

Bullet With Butterfly Wings

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

Note: This is so cute! I love this idea and I hope you like it. I just wanted to make a side note and say that i am queer, and whilst I am very happy to write romantically for the batboys, It may not be super great (which is why most of my work is platonic tbh) so apologies in advance for that. I also chose to write for Jay so I hope that's okay!

Warnings: Canon typical violence, Minor injuries, self doubt, manipulative parent (bane) but only brief, swearing teasing, kissing but no smut (SFW)

Word Count: 5k (it took me 40 years but it was worth it)

⛧ BATFAM MASTERLIST ⛧

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

Jason Todd was your enemy.

That is what you have always been told. It had been ingrained in you since you were very young. Batman and his band of proteges were a nuisance. Bothers. Vermin that needed to be exterminated from Gotham. Your father had countless rivalries: and that had extended to you. Your whole life was dedicated to training to cause havoc and trying to remove Gothams vigilantes.

Jason Todd was your enemy. And you despised him. He despised you too. Not that you cared, he had every right to. Your father had broken his many times.

He had always been tricky. He slunk around the shadows and always put a stop to your fun. His brothers weren’t much better. So when he was killed… you should have been ecstatic. You should have clenched your fists in rage when he returned…but instead you felt…lost.

Jason Todd was your enemy. So why were you helping him…?

You had heard the commotion from nearly a block over. The cacophony of shattering glass, the ricochet of bullets followed by the screeching of the building's alarm: you were over there speedily, tugging your pistols from your holsters as you weaved towards the orange glow of the flickering lights.

The building was completely destroyed. The windows were smashed in, spidering where the bullets had passed through them or jagged where what looked like a brick had been lobbed into it. The frames of the windows were completely broken too, splintering under the brute force of the coloured bandits that had weasled their way inside. Dressed in unsubtle colours, they seemed to be searching for something; they overturned desks and sent an array of papers scattering to the ground. It was that or they were just looking to have fun. You smirked, taking a step closer to the building ready to join them but then you caught a flash of the triangular emblem they had haphazardly spray painted on the back of their jackets and cursed. Safe to say that they weren’t going to tolerate you being near them. Your father had royally pissed them off. More than once. But who were you to back down from a fight?

Shouldering your weapons, you stepped closer crouching to try and keep out of their sight. It was going to be much easier for you if you could take them by surprise. Much more entertaining for you too. Though it seemed that luck wasn’t on your side because one of them, a tall girl with blonde hair she had tied back in a braid, turned her head just before you could dash out of the way and with a cry of your alias, all heads turned to you.

There was no use hiding now your cover was blown so with your guns raised high you aimed and fired. They were quick to retaliate and with their the sheer number of them it was difficult to predict their movements and stay out of their line of fire despite all of your training. The whole ordeal was a mess, bullets and punches flew left, right and centre. The whole ordeal only got a fuck ton more complicated when he arrived. The knight in fucking black and red armour. He perched on top of the roof, teetering dangerously to the edge, before landing on his feet only a few metres away, no doubt with a smug grin hidden behind his red mask. It didn’t do him much good. You knew exactly who he was and it hadn’t taken you much to figure it out. But perhaps that was because you were much more perceptive than most. Perhaps it was because you spent far too much time thinking about him.

Red Hood stood towering over you, glaring at you through his brows. He tutted. “Y/N Bane. Should have known you would be here.”

“And miss the chance to beat your pretty face?” You mocked. “You should know better.”

Red Hood rolled his eyes, shifting his weight as he reached for his weapon. He looked as though he was going to say something; another jest or sly remark, but the moment was ruined when one of the bandits ran up behind him bearing a weapon he intended to plunge into the vigilantes side. However he was much quicker, twisting around to grab the boy by his wrists and flinging him over his shoulder. He landed with a grunt before trying to grab at Red Hood's legs. You beat him to it though, landing a harsh blow to his back and sending him slumping back to the ground.

That seemed to set the rest of them off and all of a sudden the pair of you were surrounded. The street quickly became a flurry of punches and rounds of bullets that lodged themselves in the crackstone bricks or ricocheted off of the metal pipes with a cloud clang. None of them found their mark. Strange for a group of people who wielded their weapons so confidently.

It seemed to be going well. Some sort of unseen rivalry seemed to bloom between you and Red Hood, trying to see who could take the most thugs down. Those that didn’t flee dropped like flies. But you were outnumbered. And even though the pair of you were twice as skilled as them combined, you began to find it difficult to push them back.

Darting into the building to shelter from their hail of bullets, you managed to take down the pair that were hurtling things at Hood. And then it all fell silent.

Exhaling heavily, you wiped the sweat from your brow and holstered your weapons after checking the coast was clear. Smirking, you slid out of the doorway ready to jest to the vigilante. But he seemed to be nowhere to be seen. You rolled your eyes. Coward.

“Given up already?” You jested. “Honestly for a man of your size it thought that you would last a lot longer than-”

Your stomach sank when you turned the corner and saw the vigilante hunched up against the wall, his one hand pressed firmly into the wall, the other pushing hard up against his right side. His breaths came in short, ragged gasps as he tried to catch his breath, his back still turned away from you. You furrowed your brow, taking a hesitant step toward him. It was then that you noticed the crimson that oozed between his fingers.

“Here to finish me off?” He spat, words laced with a thick and potent venom.

“I’m thinking about it.”

He turned toward you, his body jolting in agony as he twisted. From there you could see the two small but ragged circles that jutted out from his suit; one above his left hip and the other a few inches to the right of it. Only one of them seemed to have an exit wound.

“Get on with it then.” He grumbled trying to keep his composure. You could see the way his legs trembled as he tried to keep his composure. “They’re not coming any time soon.” He gestured to his coms. The screen was blank. Broken. “Comms are down.” his voice was torn up by a sickening cough. “But I'd get it over with quickly so you can leave before they catch your trail.”

Your fingers twitched as you reached for your pistol. Instinct. You should finish him off. It would make your father proud. It would end your years of resentment and it would bring you oh so much glorious fame. He was already practically cowering on the ground; an easy kill. Jason Todd was your enemy. You should have pulled the trigger. But instead, you found yourself darting forward as Jason as his body careened forwards.

When Jason awoke, he did so in a panic. His eyes were wide and his heart pounded in his chest. It was only when he tried to push himself up and was met by a sudden pinch in his side that everything came back to him. He didn’t recognise his surroundings. The walls were decorated in artwork that he didn’t recognise, and he was laying in a bed with streets that belonged to a stranger. He scrambled for his pistols only to realise that they weren’t there. And that his mask had been removed.

“Lay back down, you idiot.” You scolded from across the room. “Your wounds are still healing, And relax.” You gestured to his mask and the top half of his suit that you had folded up and laid on a chair. It was then that he realised that he was not wearing his shirt and that the eternity of his torso was wrapped securely in bandages. “I knew who you were.”

Jason had to do a double take. But he soon turned sour. “What the fuck am I doing here?”

You scoffed, placing the glass of water you had brought in on the bedside table. “A thank you would be nice.”

“I’m serious” he narrowed his eyes on you.

You faltered, eyeing him cautiously and pursing your lips. Truthfully, you had struggled to get him back to your apartment. You had to move fast with the amount of blood he had lost. You were glad that he lost consciousness when he did because although you should have left him there to rot… you couldn’t bear the thought of seeing him writhe beneath you as you dug a pair of tweezers under his skin to dig out the bullet.

The vigilante eyed you cautiously, still confused as to why you had decided to drag him all the way back here. It couldn’t have been easy for you. He watched as you dug around in one of the draws in your bedroom. He had never seen you properly without your suit on. And he could fully see your face now it wasn’t obscured by the black and white mask that sat comfortably around your eyes. Jason stared for a little too long and found his thoughts wandering a little too far for his liking. He was supposed to loathe you. He was supposed to think you were vile. But yet again…you were the furthest thing from what he had convinced himself to believe.

“You’re staring.” You could feel his eyes on you.

Jason’s cheeks flushed and he turned his gaze away. Rolling your eyes you tossed him a bottle of painkillers that you had pulled out of the mess of your draw. They rattled as they hit the side of the plastic container when he caught them.

“Take some of those. They should help with the ache.

He gave you an unamused look, hand hovering on the seal.

“Relax, bird boy. If I wanted you dead you would be.”

Jason popped two in his mouth hesitantly and swallowed them down with the water you had left on the side. A loud buzzing sounded from out of the room. You disappeared briefly out of the doorway. Not being able to see you made him nervous, but you returned soon with two items in your hand. The first, his phone and the source of the incessant buzzing, and the second his comlink which was no longer dark like it was before but instead was lit up around the crack on the screen. You handed the two to him.

“You might want to let them know that you’re alive. That damn thing’s been going off all night.” You told him.

“You fixed it.” Jason gawped, turning the small device over in his hands.

You shrugged. “Had to make sure the GPS was off. Besides, I had nothing better to do.”

After sending a quick message to reassure his family that he was alive, Jason frowned at you. “Why are you helping me?”

You faltered. Why were you helping him? It went completely against everything you had been taught. But you hadn’t really thought much about what you were doing. It was like your body was on autopilot, moving without thought of feeling and just following someone’s orders blindly. You shrugged at him. “It just felt like the right thing to do.”

Jason practically laughed. “But doesn’t that go against your entire image?”

“There is a lot you don’t know about me, Todd.”

The vigilante smirked, the corners of his lips creeping upward. Snarky. He liked you. “Then perhaps I should get to know you more.”

No matter how hard he tried, Jason couldn’t take his mind off you. Even once he had long returned home, he couldn’t get the image of your face out of his thoughts. There was something about you that was just so enthralling to him. And that bothered him greatly. His hours passed by quickly as he thought of you. What you had done. And god he was so conflicted. But the part of him that seemed to want to inch closer to you won.

After struggling to pull on his hoodie, no thanks to the dull ache that still emimated from his wounds, he slipped on his shoes and trudged down the stairs. He was just about to slip out of the door when a voice stopped him.

“Jay?” Dick asked, scowling at his brother. “Where are you going?”

“Out?”

“Again? You’ve only just got back after completely wiping off the radar and now you’re sneaking off?”

“I wasn’t sneaking.”

Dick cocked his brow.

The younger Wayne sighed and with a roll of his eyes told him defensively “It’s nothing, Grayson.”

Jason slipped out of the door.

Even though he had only been there once, Jason seemed to practically have the route to your apartment engraved in his mind. After all, he had walked in over and over again in his head as he thought about returning to see you. Although he was confident on how to get there, when he stood in front of the door with his fist poised to rap against the panel, a very rare occurrence happened to Jason. He was nervous. His stomach fluttered and churned underneath the bandages and then the door flew open.

And there you stood. You looked more awake than before. Perhaps because you had actually managed to get some sleep since he had left. It had been a well needed rest. The ache in your bones from the previous night had nearly vanished once you awoke. However, similarly to the vigilante, when you awoke you too had found your mind wandering back to the boy you had dragged back into your home.

There he was. Standing in your doorway.

“Todd?” You darkened your brow. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I came to get to know you.”

Gripping his wrist you pulled him inside and shut the door behind you.

You and Jason had grown close very quickly. After he had slunk up to your apartment, the pair of you exchanged numbers. This led to many rendezvous and you began to actually enjoy spending time with him. He was an intricate person. He had so many layers to him, each one more interesting than the next. He had also discovered that there was much more to you than your facade let on. You were kind, funny, and deeply compassionate despite your history. It was ironic really. But that made Jason love you even more. He loved the way you smiled with your eyes and the way they lit up when you saw something you adored. He loved the curves of your cheekbones, your nose, your jawline and your figure. He had grown to love your laugh and the way your voice softened when you were tired. He loved all of you. But he wasn’t sure if you so much as even liked him back.

It would be a complete lie to say didn’t. Slowly, the pair of you began to open up to each other. You knew little about his past and hearing him open up about it brought tears to your eyes. That was the first time that you had hugged him. Wrapping him up in your arms seemed to come almost naturally and despite the fact that Jason wasn’t a huge people person, he found himself leaning into your embrace. The two of you began to learn things about each other very quickly. You would tell him something and he would exchange the favour. Countless hours were spent as the two of you messaged back and forth or lounged around on your couch as you talked over the movies you tried to watch but failed because you couldn’t tear your eyes off of him. He was smart and he was kind and it was nice to have someone to really open up to. You had never really had that before Jason. Of course, when he found out about that and your lack of relationships, he couldn’t help but tease you. He thought it was adorable the way that your cheeks flushed and you shrunk into yourself.

Tonight, you were sitting on a hillside. It was a little far out of the city, but Jay had insisted that it was going to be worth it. Reluctantly, but with a little grin, you had followed him up the small hill.

The view was truly magnificent. From here, you had a view of the entire city. You could see all of the lights flickering throughout the skyscrapers and the neon lights of the signs as they reflected off of the dark windows. But what was even more magical were the stars. They twinkled above you brighter than a thousand diamonds all at once. It made your breath catch in your throat. With all of the light pollution in Gotham, it was hard to see the stars. But out here you could see them in all of their beauty. So as you lay back in the grass, basking in the moonlight while Jay pointed out the constellations, you twisted your body to sit face him. He returned the motion, looking at you with gentle eyes and a smile touching his lips.

“Thank you for bringing me here, Jay.” You told him. “It truly is beautiful here.”

He nodded, speaking softly. “I’m glad you like it.”

“I’ve never seen so many stars.” You said, inching yourself up so that you were sitting. “Though I suppose that’s because I’ve never really been out of Gotham.”

Jason raised an eyebrow. This was something new. “No?”

You shook your head as he too sat up. “Never. My father never let me.”

This surprised the vigilante somewhat, but he remained silence and let you continue.

“He’s… protective. And somewhat controlling.” you trailed off. “I know he just wants me to follow in his footsteps but for my entire life I’ve been following his command blindly. It’s always what he wants. He’s never once stopped and thought about what I want.”

Jason reached out a delicate hand to brush away a stray hair, tucking it back behind your ear. “And what is it that you want?”

“This.” You breathed out.

Tenderly, he leaned forward to interlock his lips with yours. They were soft and gentle and he kissed you with a gentle amorous touch. His hands brushed the back of your hair, tangling in your locks as you returned the kiss, leaning into his touch.

Being with Jason was more than you could ever have imagined. It was a different kind of love. Something you had never really experienced before. It was filled with gentle exchanges of touches, reassurances of your love for each other, gifts and small trinkets that you would buy for each other when it reminded you of them and so so much more. With Jay, you could just be yourself and he loved you for it. There was no more trying to keep up a facade that perhaps was much more of an act influenced by your father than you thought it was. Everything was perfect.

Until it wasn’t.

You and Jay had been going out for a few months when it happened. You had returned home after a late night stroll with him to find your father sitting on your couch. He was angry, face contorting with dark lines when he narrowed his eyes at you.

“Dad?” You asked, trying to hide the evidence of your outing from him. “What are you doing here?”

“Don’t play coy with me.” He spat standing to tower above you. “I know exactly that’s going on with you and that little bird.”

He took a step forward, intending to intimidate you but you held your ground.

“How long did you think you could keep that hidden?”

“I don’t see what that’s any of your business.” You grit your teeth.

“I am your father. I made you who you are. Without me you would be nothing.” His words dripped with venom as he backed you into the wall.

“That’s exactly the point! You've never once stopped to consider what I want!”

Bane's face hardened and he leaned forward to speak to you in a scarily hushed tone and he gripped your wrists so hard you were sure it was going to leave a bruise later. “Now you listen here you insolent little girl. Either you stop running around with Bruce Wayne’s little protege or I will end him and I will make you watch. You understand.”

You didn’t meet his eyes. Instead you found a spot on the carpet to burn your gaze onto.

“I said, do you understand?” He raised his voice and you could feel your heart pounding against your rib cage.

“Yes, Father.” You admitted with defeat. He released his firm grip.

“Good.” Bane moved back towards the door. “Because I mean it.”

Without another word he turned on his heel and slammed the door behind him.

You crumpled to the floor, your body wracked with sobs that forced their way out from your ragged gasps.

And then your phone buzzed. His name displayed brightly on the screen.

Jason: Hey baby. D’you get in okay?

It was one of his usual messages. He sent them often when he couldn’t walk you back to your door. Sometimes even when he had walked you back and made sure you got inside with a parting kiss. You couldn’t blame him for being cautious. You had seen eachother fretting for the other when you came home with injuries. It was normal for Jason. But now it felt so wrong.

Opening the message your fingers hesitated over the keypad as you thought about your fathers warning. Was he right? Were you putting Jay at risk. Would it just be better if you. No. You tried to clear the thought from your mind.

You: Fine. Sorry for keeping you waiting.

You replied, waiting for the small bubble to finish typing.

Jason: you sure you’re okay baby?

You: of course. Why wouldn’t I be?

Jason: No reason. I just had this feeling.

You: Oh? Well I’m fine I promise. Night Jay.

You were in fact, not fine.

The next time you saw Jason your heart was racing. And not in the good way. In the “I think I’m going to hurl” way.

You had been thinking about him nonstop. About how much joy he brought you. How you could never fathom leaving him. But Bane's words kept replaying in your head. Seeing him had brought a part of your old self back. The part that you had long since tried to move past. Was being with Jason making you weak? You had told him so much that it felt as if he knew you inside and out. Was it okay to show vulnerability to him like that? You had been thinking a million thoughts at once. But the one that stuck out most to you was ‘am I putting Jason in danger?’ Would your selfishness of wanting to be with him cost him his life. You had tried to tell yourself that you were being silly. That Jason could handle himself. He was the infamous Red Hood. But you knew Jay. And you knew Bane. So you knew that if he put his mind to it, Jason Todd would die.

And that was why you needed to leave.

When Jason arrived he greeted you with a bright grin that only made your stomach sink deeper into your abyss of guilt. You took a deep breath, trying to hide the tremble of your body and the tears in your eyes. You could not bring yourself to return his mannerisms.

“Baby? What’s wrong?” He frowned as he approached you.

“Jay…. I-I” your voice caught in your throat: a reminder of how little you wanted this to happen. But you had to. For his sake “I can’t do this anymore.”

Jason’s face dropped. “W-what?”

You honestly don’t think you had ever seen him look more hurt. Another wound to add to the collection.

“I can’t do this anymore.” You gestured between the two of you. “ I love you, Jason. But I can’t carry on being with you.”

You took a step back and Jason reached out to try and touch you but stopped, cutting himself off short. “Y/N what’s happened? Please tell me baby. What have I done wrong?”

“Nothing, Jay.” You shook your head, blinking away the tears that fell. “That’s the worst part. Nothing at all.”

You avoided Jason Todd like the plague after that. No matter how much you mourned his face and playful smile. His flurries of texts and calls went unanswered until they slowly thinned out. Never stopping, but as the summer turned to autumn, there were less and less of them.

You could tell it broke him as much as it broke you.

You hardly left the house after that fateful day. Everything seemed to remind you of him and his stupid voice. You didn’t want to run the risk of seeing him because you knew the second you did you would break down again completely.

Your father stopped by occasionally. He would tell you that he was proud of you but you knew he was just trying to manipulate you back into his little copy of himself. You swore to yourself that you wouldn’t go back there, but after a short while you grew desperate. Perhaps it was because you had grown bored of staring at the same blank spot in the wall and the empty space on your bed, or perhaps it was because you secretly hoped that you would catch a glimpse of that infamous red suit.

It seemed that your wishes do come true.

You heard the fighting from around the corner. The cacophony of fists finding their marks. When you rounded the corner you saw him. The red of his suit outlined by the dark of the black to contrast. Your first thought was to run. To bolt back down the alleyway. But you weren’t a coward. You had had enough of hiding. You longed to see him and this was your chance. Red Hood was loosing.

With one swift action, you leaped towards the thugs grabbing one and sending her careening towards the ground. Red Hood had to do a double take when he saw the flash of your suit in the light. But there was no doubt that it was you. After months you had appeared.

Motivated by you appearance it didn’t take long of the two of you to take out the thugs. And when the last one dropped to the ground. Your first thought was to run. But then he said your name and you were glued in place. God you had longed to hear that voice.

“Y/N? Y/N please look at me” you had never heard so much softness in Jason’s voice before. He too was scared.

He was right behind you. Close enough to touch. You could sense him. His hands itching to reach out and gather you up in his arms.

Slowly you turned around to face him and your gaze met his for the first time in months. And his heart wanted to break. Jason had always been good at reading people, but he could see the whirlwind of emotions swirling in your gaze.

“I'm sorry.” You blurted out.

Jay hummed. Although he would never admit how much he had hurt during your absence, he had a feeling that you weren’t not thinking properly and had likely been influenced by someone else. The fear in your eyes confirmed his suspicions. “I know.” Jason wanted to reach out and snatch you up to pull into his embrace. “I know it was your father.”

You felt as if the whole world had been lifted off of your chest when he breathed out those words.

“Truly, I didn’t want to do it, Jay. But he threatened to- I couldn’t let him hurt you.” Your voice broke and your lips trembled as your eye filled with tears. And that was the final straw for the vigilante. He took another step forward and wrapped you up in a tight hug. He had missed you so much.

“Shh.” He hushed. “I forgive you.”

You sniffled looking up at him. “Really?”

“Of course I do.” He nodded, tucking your head under his chin. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Me too.” You muttered.

“So what do you say?” He asked. “You want to give this another go?”

“If you’ll have me.”

“Oh darling, I would trade the world for one night with you.”

And with that, Jason Todd leaned down and kissed you once more.

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

BATFAM TAGS:

@hearts4robs

@hell-o-kittys

@xxrougefangxx

@aestheticdasies

@mamapucket

⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤

side note in case it bothers anyone: I'm somewhat aware that Bane has a daughter canonically, which is sort of why I went with him. If you wanted to you could interpret this as the reader also being created in a lab, or being his biological daughter (how I imagined it) but it doesn't really matter. I also chose bane because I didn't want to go with the joker again, but this this also doesn't really matter as the reader kinda just becomes her own villain.

#batfam x reader #Jason Todd x Reader #dc #batfam #dc x reader #Batfamily x reader #enemies to lovers #angst #fluff #hurt/comfort #red hood #red hood x reader

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fieldofdaisiies · 7 months

Text

Alone

ship: Theodore Nott x Hufflepuff!Reader type: angst/fluff word count: 2,6k words warnings: mentions of racist parents, awful parent child relationship, talk of war and Death Eaters summary: Y/N and Theo are childhood friends, when she receives a howler from her mother that breaks her, he is there for her. (I'll blame @azrielscrown for her amazing Theo stories and hence making me want to write about him, and also @moonlightazriel for the tiktok videos she sent me hahaha)

It is quiet. So very quiet. All of a sudden everyone stops talking. There aren’t even any hushed whispers. Nothing.

It is so quite that one could hear a needle drop.

So quiet that even the mice in the smallest nooks and corners of the castle could hear your mother’s voice blaring out of the howler that has just unfolded itself in front of you. Its tongue poking out, the howler spats the exact same words your mother shouted into it in your family manor.

The words drip with venom. Disdain and disappointment lace every spoken syllable.

Your blood runs cold, your chin quivering, as you watch and listen in absolute shock. Your whole body has gone rigid, you don't even dare turn to glance around, not wanting to see the either mocking or pitiful looks of your school mates.

How would she know? How does she know? And why is she so mad?

It was just a school project, not your decision to spend time with him. You had to spend time with Harry Potter — it was for a Potions project, preparing a recipe, trying it out and then presenting it in class. It was project where you were assigned partners. A project where you were forced to spend time together. And even if you don't hate Harry, you would not have chosen to do the project. But you had no choice.

'The shame you brought upon this family by being sorted into Hufflepuff.'

There is a pause, and it is so long, so dreadful, so painful, and you just hope the letter won’t continue talking. Maybe it is over and the letter will just rip itself into shreds — the same shreds your heart has been ripped into when the letter started howling.

Or maybe a hole in the ground will open, and swallow you wholly? A ghost will appear and take you with him? A giant will crash both you and the letter?

But your prayers are ignored. Of course they are…

'And now, now you are doing partner work with him? Spending your free afternoons with him? What comes next? Dating a Muggle? Marrying one?'

'Y/N Y/L/N, in this house I allow none of that!'

Your best friend slides her hand into your cold one, squeezing it tightly. She is the purest and kindest soul Hufflepuff house has ever seen and in this very moment you are more grateful to have her than ever before. She somehow grounds you, stops your body from shaking or convulsing fully.

'I am deeply disappointed. So very much. What you do to this family, the shame you bring upon us.'

That’s how the letter ends. No well wishes, no goodbye, no I love you, no motherly love. Nothing.

You are shocked, sad, embarrassed — feeling too much. Too many emotions. Your heart can’t take them, can’t deal with them all at once and you know you have to leave, get away, escape. Cry. And be alone.

You need to get out of the Great Hall. And that right now.

You know your friends want to support you, comfort you, but sometimes you just need to be alone.

Your voice sounds choked, throat constricted, as you climb over the bench, the howler still in pieces on the table.

"I am sorry, I need to be alone now." You run, weaving your way through the pupils crowded in the Great Hall and the corridors outside. Tears start to burn behind your eyes, clouding your vision and your throat starts to burn.

You run, run until your feet ache, slumping down on the ground, sliding down the ball. And then the damn breaks. Hot, burning tears rolling down your cheeks, as one ragged sob after the other leaves you.

It hurts so much, growing up in a family like this. It is so painful. Your mother's words, laced with venom, still reverberate through your mind, loud and awful, filling every fibre of your being. A cool shiver makes its way down your spine, making you shiver.

You draw in a deep inhale, your breathing shaky, lower lip quivering. Closing your eyes, you let your head rest against the wall, replaying every single word she said to you.

The eerie silence of the corridor and your calm sobs are suddenly interrupted by the faint echo of footsteps nearing. You have no time to make guesses who it could be, finding you sitting behind a corner, back pressed against the wall to almost become invisible.

"Are you…alright?"

It is strange seeing him like this. He is always so confident, so cocky, arrogant, silver-tongued. And not so…reserved, and at a loss for words. Your desperate state has probably shocked him, you think, trying to hold his gaze, but the tears are coming back again.

"I am…fine," you croak, the lie in your voice louder than the Howler you received earlier.

Theo breathes out a cold chuckle. "That was the worst lie I've ever heard, Y/N."

His voice is flat, his expression stoic. He just looks at you, his normally confident demeanour nowhere in sight. "And I thought you Hufflepuffs are those goody-two-shoes who never lie."

You watch how the corner of his mouth tips upwards, but only shortly. He quickly presses his lips in a thin line, something he has always done when thinking deeply. A crease appears on his forehead, eyes solely focused on you.

You have known Theo basically since the day you were born. He is two months older than you, both of you coming from noble pureblood families, your father's had once been good friends, are still probably, but you don't really know. When you were placed in Hufflepuff…things changed.

Also the friendship with Theo changed. He got distanced, you did too. Being friends with him was somehow no longer possible, and still isn't. You are not rude towards each other, he also always stayed out when the Slytherins mocked you and your housemates, but he has also never sought you out to spend time with you…and neither did you.

You have been growing apart and this is alright — some friendships are not forever. Or at least that is what you always tell yourself.

"I…I just had to get out."

He nods, slowly, and in understanding. "I always come here when I want to be alone."

"Yes, that is why I am here, I want to be alone." You hope he gets the memo…that you want to be alone. Fully alone.

Not deigning him another look, you bury your face in your hands again, knees pulled up to your chest. It is not in your nature to be rude to anyone, but…

"I know I should probably leave…" But he moves closer.

"I heard what the howler said and I don’t really want to—"

"Everyone heard what the Howler said." A humourless chuckle escapes you and you lift your head. Theo is already looking at you, his eyes, meeting your red and puffy ones. Pain flashes in his eyes, bright and stark and you feel yourself shiver.

He nods slowly, almost like he wants to tell you it is not the truth, hoping it will ease the pain and discomfort a little, but he says nothing. And that for a long moment. Until—

He closes the distance between the two of you, claiming the spot on the ground beside you.

"I am sorry," he says, stretching out his long legs and leaning his head against the stone wall behind him. "I am so sorry for what she said and that everyone had to hear."

"It is not your fault, you don't have to apologise." You furrow your brows as you turn to look at him.

His eyes are filled with concern. You can still feel the embarrassment, the way the entire hall had turned to watch as the red envelope exploded in a blaze of your mother's fury and rage. Everyone became witness to your misery…

You swallow hard, trying to push the memory aside, but it lingers like an illness that just won't get better.

"Y/N," Theo says, his voice softer than what you are used to. "I can't believe she sent you this letter…"

"Howler," you correct him, wearing a forced smile.

The corner of his mouth curls up, and he casually runs a hand through his hair. "Indeed, a Howler, you smartass."

You chuckle, and playfully nudge him with your elbow. But then you shake your head, take a deep breath and shrug."You know how she is. Always expecting more, always disappointed in me."

Theo reaches out, his hand brushing gently against yours. He does not take your hand into his, just rests it next to yours on the ground, your pinkies touching. "You don't have to listen to her, Y/N. You're so much more than what she thinks of you."

You draw in a shaky breath, thankful about his presence.

Funny, you think. You would not have thought that exactly his presence would bring you so much comfort now. You had wanted to be alone just moments before, but talking to him feels somehow good. "Thank you," you say.

He smiles. "Of course." But he does not look away, keeps holding your gaze, his hand shifting the tiniest bit, his pinkie finger now placed on top of yours.

The dimly lit sconces cast eerie flickers of light upon the stone walls, and also on you two. His lashes look longer in this light, casting shadows across his cheeks, his eyes looking so much deeper. And soon you realise you are staring at him.

It feels like he leans closer, but you could also be mistaken.. And yet, his presence wraps around you, like a gentle embrace or a warm winter coat. And, with his voice barely above a whisper, Theo says. "You deserve so much better than this."

Tears glisten in your eyes once more. His gaze is intense, filled with an emotion you have not really seen on him before. "Thank you for being here for me."

"I am your friend, of course I am."

Your expression must have given you away.

He huffs, and lowers his chin to his chest. "Well, at least I hope we are still friends…"

For a long moment silence stretches out between you because first of all, you did not expect that statement and secondly, you don't know how to answer.

Are you really friends? Still?

You’ve doubted it in the past years, you’ve never talked to each other, unless you had to do so in class. You’ve never spent time together. This is not what you would call a friendship.

"I don't know, are we?" you answer honestly, and a small smile appears on his face. "I can't blame you for not considering me your friend anymore…"

It is still strange seeing him like this. He has never been like this…so vulnerable somehow.

"I know I should have been here for you so much more in these past years."

This is not at all what you expected, and it confuses you greatly. Is he blaming himself for not being here? You also did not reach out to him, you did not seek him out, and you are in different houses.

"There is no blame on you!" Your voice is stronger, firmer, wanting him to see that it is absolute bullshit that he is talking. "Why would you say something like this?"

He shrugs. "I am…" He does not continue, only draws in a deep inhale, and leans his head against the wall. His eyes close for a moment.

There has always been a connection between you, a connection that is still somehow there, even though you might no longer be friends. The kind of friends you once used to be.

You also lean back against the wall, your own eyes closing, his finger still touching yours. It is such a tiny gesture, but you feel it everywhere. Feel him so strongly.

Theo breaks the silence, his voice quieter when he says. "Y/N, I want you to know...I've always cared about you more than just a friend."

Your heart skips a beat, and you open your eyes, turn your head and look up at him, your eyes meeting his gaze. "Theo..."

"I know it's complicated," he continues, his hand now flipping yours over and taking it into his. "I can't pretend anymore. And seriously, if Draco or Blaise would see me like that right now…stumbling over my own words, they would call me the biggest fool on this planet, but I need you to know…"

He groans almost like in frustration, and squeezes your hand.

"In Salazar's name, why is this so fucking hard?" A chuckle escapes him, but you only look at him, not sure if you are ready for his confession.

"I'm in love with you, Y/N. And I have been for the longest time."

Your breath catches in your throat, and a mixture of emotions swirls within you, a whirlwind starting for a whole new reason now. "Theo, I..." You hesitate, not sure what to say.

He smiles and shakes his head. "You don't have to say anything right now. I just needed you to know. And if you ever need someone to talk to, to be there for you, I'll always be here, I want you to know this."

This is a side of him, you think, only you know. And only you know since this very moment. He has never been like this before, he is not like that to others and it makes your chest warm from the inside.

Tears well up in your eyes again, but this time they're not tears of sadness — they’re tears of happiness and comfort. Without thinking you throw your arms around Theo and hug him tightly, feeling the warmth of his embrace. "Thank you, Theo. I... I really care about you too. I want you to know this."

He holds you close, his hand gently rubbing your back. "What happened today, and what is maybe about to come…we'll get through this together. You are not alone in this. I know you have your Hufflepuff friends, but you also have me."

He holds you tightly, and for as long as it takes the pain of the former happenings to ease. The weight of the howler and your mother's hurtful words begins to fade, replaced by the knowledge that you have someone who cares deeply for you by your side. His words and his confession were like balm to your soul, and they make you smile, even when you thought you wouldn't be smiling much this day.

"I am really glad to have you back in my life."

He smiles, a genuine and adorable smile that makes your heart flutter. "I have always been in your life. Maybe we weren't that close, but our bond has always been there."

You nod, and draw in a deep inhale. "You are right."

When more pupils file into the corridors, you know lessons are probably soon about to start. You give his hand a final squeeze and slowly get up. "I'll see you later, Theo."

He nods, his eyes never leaving yours. "Take care, Y/N. I'll see you for lunch?"

You nod, a smile on your lips and his eyes momentarily dip to them.

With one last smile, you turn and head toward the Hufflepuff common room, your heart lighter. You know you can talk to him about the issues in your family, and he will listen, because he understands. Understands the pure blood nobility and problems. And maybe, just maybe, there is also a chance for something more between the two of you in the future. He, after all, already confessed his love for you.

#theodore nott #theodore nott x you #theodore nott x reader #slytherin boys #slytherin #slytherin x hufflepuff #harry potter #theo nott #theo nott x reader

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querenciasturniolo · 3 months

Text

never really over ⮕ m.s.

word count: 3.3k

warnings: swearing, angst, mention of a breakup, crying, self doubt

summary: „thought we kissed goodbye, thought we meant this time, was the last, but i guess it’s never really over”

a/n: this song played at work the other day and i started daydreaming, so here’s this LMAOOO. this song SCREAMS summer and lemme tell you, i’m so fucking sick of winter. also the picture of matt gives me heart palpitations, so enjoy.

everything written is completely fictional. the people i write for are written with characteristics and mannerisms that i made for them, this is in no way depicting what would actually happen in real life.

You knew coming home this summer was a stupid idea. Standing across the bonfire, staring directly into the dimly illuminated face you hadn’t seen in person in two years, you felt as though there was a pull screaming at you to move towards him. He hadn’t seen you yet, he was too busy laughing quietly at his brothers and a friend of his you weren’t particularly close with when the two of you were together. You, on the other hand, haven’t been able to keep your eyes off of him since you’d gotten to the party half an hour ago. It felt surreal, being in his space again after so long. It felt as though it was just yesterday you had your arms wrapped around him, your tears soaking the front of his shirt as he comforted you for the last time.

It seemed the only thing you and Matt were good at was breaking up, since it happened more often than not. Every other week you would decide that you didn’t deserve Matt and the two of you would call it quits. Then, a few days later, he’d show up at your door. He wouldn’t leave until the cycle repeated itself, but you knew he’d be back. You guys were never really over, after all.

You thought the last time you two said goodbye truly was the last time, considering you were going off to college and he was staying with his brothers to continue their YouTube career. You always knew he’d make it. Matt and his brother’s were the most genuine people you’d ever met, and it always transferred over into their videos. You watched them periodically while you were away at college, when missing him hurt so bad that you knew if you didn’t alleviate it somehow, you’d call him, and you couldn’t do that to him. The two of you promised each other that the last time was the last time, to keep the both of you from hurting each other. But seeing him only thirty feet away from you had your skin crawling in a familiar way you hadn’t felt in years.

“Who are you staring at?”

You jumped and whipped your head to the side, sighing and shaking your head when you met Nate’s eyes.

“Nothing, Nate. No one.” You said, clearing your throat and not letting your stare flicker back to Matt. You watched in horror as Nate’s eyebrows furrowed and he tracked your previous gaze until realization spread across his face.

“Matt, huh?” He asked, his voice casual as he slowly met your eyes. You hated the look on his face. It was almost as if he pitied you and your pathetic staring, which you couldn’t blame him. You scoffed and shook your head.

“No, I’m clearly staring at Dylan. What do you think?” You asked sarcastically, running a hand over your face to try and hide your embarrassment. You knew he meant well, but everyone always meant well, and they made you feel insane. They all had the same silent question; why couldn’t you just let him go? It’s been two fucking years, why did looking at him now feel the same as it did then? Your chest ached with how hard your heart was pumping against your ribcage. Goosebumps stayed prominent on every inch of your body just knowing he was so close to you. “I’m sorry, Nate. That was rude.” You said softly, moving your hand and sighing into the cool evening air.

Nate didn’t seem to take it to heart, he never really did. He was there for the entirety of your relationship with Matt, and unfortunately, he was one of the only few people who witnessed the aftermath. He’d answer your midnight texts, and when you were in town during breaks that first year of college, he’d pick you up from your house at three in the morning just for the two of you to drive around and blast music to keep your mind from racing.

“It’s been hard for him too.” He said, which was not at all what you were expecting him to say. You met his eyes with furrowed brows, though not a single one of his tells was showing. It was still hard to believe, considering how much of a mess you were when you went off to college and Matt moved to LA. Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip as you processed what he said, your heart telling you he’s genuine, but your mind telling you he’s just trying to make you feel better.

“What makes you say that?” You asked, your voice almost breathless as Nate scoffed and shrugged his shoulders.

“Oh, I dunno. Maybe the fact that I’ve known the kid for forever and we talk every single day.” He stated, your features dropping into a blank stare as he shook his head and glanced back over in Matt’s direction. You couldn’t bring yourself to look that way again, otherwise you’d be walking towards him immediately. “You’re allowed to talk to him, you know?” He said after a short while, meeting your eyes again with a soft smile. You knew he meant well, and you knew he was right, but the thought of walking over to Matt and him not wanting to talk to you had you shaking your head fervently.

“I know I can, but I also can’t. Besides, he doesn’t want to talk to me.” You said, your eyes flickering over in Matt’s direction once more. He was gone from his spot, Nick and Chris and the friend you couldn’t think of were still talking away as you furrowed your brows.

“Who doesn’t want to talk to you?”

You froze in place, your chest warming and your body relaxing the moment his voice washed over you completely. When you turned around, it felt as though a swarm of butterflies were flying behind your ribcage and hitting every single corner and bouncing off. There was no doubt in your mind he could hear it, no matter how impossible that seemed. Your eyes met the familiar cool blue, and you were back in every single moment you’d spent with him. He was smiling the same smile he always gave you, his eyes crinkling slightly as they flickered over your more than likely shocked face.

“How have you been?” He asked, his eyes meeting yours once more as you fought your useless brain to say something—anything to him.

“I’ve been alright.” You finally said, your heart hammering in your chest as your own lips stretched into a smile against your will. You couldn’t help it, he always had that effect on you. “What about you?”

Matt sighed through his nose, his shoulders dropping a few centimeters as the two of you began to fully relax again in each other’s presence. “I’ve been okay.” He said breathily, his eyebrows twitching inward as he studied you. “Were you talking about me to Nate?” He asked, the slightest hint of teasing in his voice. You snickered and shook your head, dropping your eyes to the grass below you.

“You were listening?” You teased back, lifting your head again. You couldn’t meet his eyes, so you studied his shirt. It was a simple flannel, similar to the one most of the guys at the bonfire were wearing to keep warm on this chilly Boston night. He grinned and nodded his head, dropping his eyes to his shoes right as you felt brave enough to look at him.

“Can you blame me?” He asked, his eyes meeting yours once more through his eyelashes. Your breath caught in your throat. That familiar pull was working against you without you realizing it, the space between the two of you had dwindled enough that you could feel the heat from his body, you could see the push and pull of his breaths and the rise and fall of his chest. Fuck, you missed him.

“How’s Los Angeles?” You asked dumbly, wanting to smack yourself as he inhaled softly and shrugged.

“Warm, sunny, crazy.” He mumbled. There was something in his eyes you couldn’t quite place, and it was driving you nuts. Two years ago you’d be able to tell what he was thinking just by the way he breathed, but you were out of practice. “How’s college?” He countered. You shrugged in return, a playful smile forming on your lips.

“Stressful, expensive, exhausting.” You said. Matt rolled his eyes and shook his head. His eyes were nothing but fond as they scanned over your face slowly. A million thoughts were racing through your mind at once, but all you could do was keep looking at him like it was the last time you ever would.

The two of you were silent for only a few heartbeats, the both of you just basking in the other’s presence for the first time since that last goodbye. He was the first to speak, and it took everything in you not to fall into his arms at the warmth and sincerity in his voice.

“I missed you.” His voice was only a few decibels above a whisper, but those three words were screaming in your mind the moment they left his mouth. You weren’t the only one wanting, yearning, wishing, hoping, praying, waiting. He missed you. He missed you. Your composure crumbled slightly, and you couldn’t help but smile sadly at him.

“Fuck.” You whispered, running your hands over your face and closing your eyes. “I missed you, too.” You said. Before you could open your eyes, you were pulled into his arms and against his chest. You couldn’t believe you were worried about the beating of your own heart as you listened to the rapid thumping of his against your ear. Like it was second nature, you wrapped your arms around his neck and stood on your toes to fully embrace him like you used to. Your face rested in the crook of his neck, the skin warm against the chilled tip of your nose.

He felt the same—the same warm chest and tight arms making you feel safe, the same familiar scent of vanilla bourbon soap and laundry detergent with the smallest hint of campfire, the same gentle movement of his thumb lightly caressing your back. You relaxed completely against him, his grip on you the only thing keeping you from sliding down his body and laying limp in the grass. He was so familiar, so comfortable, so fucking safe that you never wanted your embrace to end.

“Matty?” You asked, a shiver running down his spine when the warm breath from your lips puffed against his skin. He hummed in reply, swaying softly with you to the quiet music playing from someone’s car speakers. “This is gonna fuck everything up for us, isn’t it?” He didn’t pull away from you, like you expected. He didn’t stiffen either, which was odd. His lips pressed lightly against the top of your head, a soft sigh leaving your lips as you somehow relaxed further.

“I don’t care.” He whispered. You pulled back to meet his eyes, your pulse deafening in your ears as you searched for anything on his face that wasn’t sincere. Matt never broke eye contact with you, a small smile forming on his lips. “I’m being serious. These last two years have fucking sucked, and I don’t care if we fuck it up because I missed you. Can we forget about saying goodbye, just tonight?” He asked. He sounded almost breathless, begging you for just one night together like old times.

Before you could say anything, his eyes were flickering to your lips and he was leaning in. You gasped lightly, his lips barely brushing against yours as your eyes fluttered closed. Warmth completely enveloped you the moment you tightened your arms around his neck and closed the space between the two of you, the cool summer night completely forgotten as your fingers tangled in his hair and scratched lightly at his scalp.

You’d forgotten what it was like to kiss him, you’d forgotten how he’d hold the back of your neck with one hand and grip your waist with the other like his life depended on it, no matter how gentle the kiss was. It drove you wild every time, your body feeling like it was on fire as he pulled you impossibly closer to him. His kiss was gentle, soft, full of passion and yearning, yet rough, hard and full of tension and desperation. You could feel the pain he’d felt the last two years with each soft brush of his tongue against yours, and it took everything in you not to break down in tears mid kiss. Your Matty was back, and you didn’t think you’d ever be able to let him go again, even though you knew you had to.

When the two of you pulled a part for air, you couldn’t help but stare up at him with soft, gasping breaths leaving your lips. Matt’s eyes remained closed, his eyebrows furrowed tightly. He looked…miserable, and you hated it. You untangled your hands from his hair, one of your palms resting against his chest while your other hand reached up and cupped his cheek softly. Your thumb caressed the crease between his eyebrows until he relaxed, finally opening his eyes to meet yours. Every single bit of anguish you’d felt for the last two years was written all over his face. It was etched into the lines by his eyes, the twitching corners of his mouth, and it was glimmering in the cool blue of his iris’. He was in as much pain as you’d been in, and it made you want to scream.

“Did you stop loving me?” Matt asked, his voice thick and raspy. You inhaled sharply, your own brows furrowing.

“Matty, I—”

“Just.” He interrupted, exhaling deeply through his nose and looking into the flames of the fire rippling a few feet to your left. “Just answer the question, please.” He didn’t return his gaze to yours, no matter how badly you wanted him to look into your eyes and see the answer screaming out at him from your heart. You fish-mouthed for a few seconds before taking a deep, shaky breath and closing your eyes.

“I don’t think I could ever forgive myself if I stopped loving you.” You said, Matt’s gaze finally returning to yours. You smiled brokenly, letting your eyes well with the hot tears you’d been fighting since seeing him and his brothers the second you looked across the fire. Your hands clenched into fists in his flannel, your body desperate for him to stay close to you. “Loving you…fuck, loving you was the best thing I’ve ever done, even if it went up in flames. It made every argument, every bad day, every break up and reconnection worth it. I didn’t think it was possible, and I thought I was doing so well getting over you, but I love you just as much as I did the day we broke up for the last time. And it’s okay if you stopped loving me completely, because I can understand how you could.” You whispered the last few words, closing your eyes and letting the depth of your words fall over the two of you. You dropped your head, sniffling to yourself and trying to pull yourself together before you made a mess of things again.

Matt’s fingers lightly gripping your chin had a shaky exhale leaving your lips as he lifted your head. Your eyelids fluttered open, the tip of his nose almost touching yours with how close the two of you still were. His tongue peaked out to wet his lips and he opened his mouth to speak as his grip moved from your chin to his hand cupping your jaw and holding it firmly.

“The one thing I didn’t miss was the lack of faith you had in yourself being loveable.” He said clearly, firmly, matter-of-factly. He’d told you a million times before that there was absolutely no reason for him not to love you, but you never stopped looking for that one reason to present to him. “I have loved you so completely, so wholly, so entirely since the day I met you, and the day we said goodbye. You were and are the last person I think of when I fall asleep, and the first person I think of when I wake up in the morning. For so long, you were the only person I wanted to be around, and the only person I knew that I couldn’t live without.” He said, your eyes wide as you stared up at his smug face with a slack jaw.

“The fact that I came back each and every time you looked me in my face and tore my heart out of my chest, still wanting and needing to be a part of you and your life should show how much I loved and still love you. If you can’t see how deep my love for you is, then I truly don’t know what we were doing in the first place.” He finished, the tears that had welled in your eyes had begun to fall, Matt smiling softly down at you as his thumb tenderly swiped the tears away. “Don’t cry, baby. I was only telling you the truth. I’m just glad that it seems now you finally choose to believe it.”

You sniffled and shook your head up at him, not understanding how only a short time ago you were staring at him from across a bonfire, absolutely petrified of him seeing you and not being interested enough to even wave, and here you were. You were standing in his arms, only a few feet away from the fire, listening to him tell you that all of your sleepless nights full of tossing and turning, overthinking, watching him and his brothers’ videos on YouTube for some semblance of normalcy, he was missing you and loving you just as much as you were him. You couldn’t help but smile up at him and pull him closer to you, wrapping him in the tightest hug you could manage. You wanted it to feel the way his words made you feel, warm and safe and protected and loved. So fucking loved that you could hardly stand it.

“What does this mean, Matty?” You whispered against his shoulder. He sighed into your hair, his grip around your waist tightening as he shook his head.

“Just enjoy the moment, baby. We’ll talk about that later.” He mumbled, pulling away from the hug to press a kiss to your forehead, cheek, and then pressing his lips firmly to yours. It was only a firm peck, and he pulled away. “Watch the fireworks with me?” He asked. You nodded your head and turned around, letting him press himself against your back and wrap his arms around you like he’d done a million times before. His chin rested against your shoulder, and you leaned your head slightly to the side to rest your temple against his as the first firework shot into the sky. Each and every breath you took, you breathed him in, not wanting this moment to end.

It was possible that by the end of the night, the two of you would go your separate ways and leave one another again for an indefinite amount of time, or maybe even continue your cycle from two years ago. But it was also possible that the two of you would start something new, maybe change the cycle and make sure it wasn’t repeated again. You had a feeling it was one of the latter two options.

After all, you two were never really over.

tags: @strniolo , @ssturniolo , @thetriplets3 , @stvrni0lo , @gabbylovesreading , @dwntwn-strnlo , @tylerscreat0r , @toyourloves , @lvrsparadise , @angelcake-222 , @20nugs , @obsessivencrazy , @lollibumblebee , @stargirlv0id , @jellybeanbby , @idontexistman , @emssturniolo , @soursturniolo , @bernardenjoyer , @ev3rgreenxtrees , @reveriewave , @mxqdii , @leah-loves-lilies , @mattsnutsack , @champangekisses , @floofparker

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hughesurdaddy43 · 4 months

Note

hello lovely🫶🏼 if ur requests are open and whenever you have time could you write something absolutely gut wrenchingly heartbreaking that ends with some fluff w Q and somehow add in the brothers being involved too? Like they are on your side or whatever! Just in an angst mood😮‍💨

This sucksssssss, I had this whole thing planned out and then forgot about it butttttttt ngl i kind of love it, it's just not as heart breaking as I wanted it. also i was gonna make quinn and jacl fight over her bc we love that but we also love soft boy jack whos just worried.

AND IDK HOW TO WRITE FLUFF? I MEAN I DO BUT I FOCUSED MORE ON THE HEARTBREAKING PART?? IS THIS EVEN SAD? IDK BUT I LISTENED TO TAYLOR WHILE WRITING IT

tw?// attempt to d&d??

also trevor zegras scares me

Tears threatened to spill from your eyes as you watched Quinn on the other side of the fire, slow dancing with another girl.

You knew coming to this bonfire would be a bad idea, your friends were his friends first. Of course he'd be here.

Jack, in the chair right beside you leans over. "Don't even pay attention to him, Ash. He's a dick for bringing another girl, he knew you were coming." Your heart crumbles, he knew you were coming and still brought another girl.

"It's barely been two months, how could he have moved on that fast?" Luke, from the other side of you chuckles, causing both you and Jack to look over at him. "You think he's moved on? She's definitely a rebound, Ash. I mean, look at her."

You bring the drink in your hand up to your lips, taking another sip as you look back at Quinn. You've been watching him all night, hoping he'd come up to you. "Why is it so easy for him?" You mumble to yourself. Since your breakup, you've been a wreck. Life without Quinn wasn’t something you were used to, something you hated.

"I think I should go." Your legs feel like jello when you stand up and it takes you a moment to balance yourself.

Jack stands up beside you, grabbing your arm. "You can't drive Ash, you’re drunk." He tries to grab your keys from your hand but you pull away.

"I'm fine, Jack. I can't be here."

You start to walk to your car that's parked amongst all the other vehicles that have piled in over the last couple of hours. Your head is spinning and your thoughts are all over the place. Luke and Jack are calling your name from behind you, and a lot of heads are turning your way, but there's one thing only that's on your mind. Get away from Quinn, as far as possible.

When you reach your car and get the door open, Jack slams it shut. "I'm not letting you drive, Ash. You're drunk, and I can't drive you because I'm drunk. Just give it a few hours, will you?"

The tears that we're threatening to spill from your eyes finally fall.

"Listen, I know he's being a piece of shit right now, but it's not worth risking your life over."

"I already risked my life for him, Jack! I moved countries for him, and I quit my job, I left my friends. I left everything I knew and loved! And for what? For him to break my heart?"

Your back slides against the side of your car as you let your body fall to the ground. Sober you would be completely embarrassed with how you're acting, but with all the alcohol in your system you don't really care. Your face is buried into your hands as you cry your heart out, until you hear a voice. His voice.

"Ash? What's going on"

Quinn walks towards you with worry filled eyes, and he kneels down until the two of you are face to face. "Baby, what's wrong?" And with the use of the pet name that you had been so used to hearing, your heart aches.

"I want to go home." You cry out.

Quinn doesn’t hesitate, standing up and pulling you with him. He starts leading you to the passenger side of the car.

The car ride is quiet. The road ahead of you is long and dark, and you can't remember the last time you've seen another car.

Quinn starts messing with the radio, but club mixes and jazz aren't his vibe for tonight, so he settles with nothing.

"We weren’t supposed to end up like this." You mumble, mostly to yourself but it's loud enough for him to hear.

Quinn laughs, running his hand through his hair. "I didn’t have much of a choice, Ash."

You look at him, trying to decipher whether or not he's kidding. It's clear he isn’t.

"I'm not drunk enough for you to gaslight me into thinking I'm the reason we broke up."

"You’re kidding me, right? Ash, you're the one who left!"

Now it's your turn to laugh. "I didn’t just leave, Quinn. You pushed me away."

The car comes to a stop, the smell of burnt rubber fills your nose.

"I pushed you away? You left! I watched you leave! You took your fucking house key off the chain and dropped it on the table, and then you left!"

You feel like a small child with how Quinn is yelling in your face. You can't remember a time where he's ever been so angry with you.

In one swift move, you open the car door and get out. "I'm walking home!"

Quinn rolls the window down and begins shouting for you, but you’re already quite a distance away. He follows right beside you, begging for you to get back into the car.

"Baby, please get in the car."

You slow down, whipping your head to face him "Don’t you dare! Don't call me that."

At this point, Quinn puts the car in park and walks over to grab you.

You pull your arm out of his grasp and try to walk away, but he doesn’t let you.

"Stop being so stubborn, Ash! Just get in the damn car!."

With your back towards him, you let your shoulders drop. You can't fight back with out the fear of crying again, and you’re so tired of crying over him.

"Why didn’t you tell me that you love me?"

You finally ask the million dollar question and it takes both of you by surprise.

Quinn sighs, and even though you aren’t looking at him, you know that he's running his hand through his hair. His signature move that you know all too well.

"You didn’t give me time to think." He says, and you scoff. " You shouldn’t have needed time, Quinn. When you know, you know."

You can hear his footsteps approaching you until he's pressed up against your back.

"No, I didn’t need to know if I loved you or not. Fuck.

I just, I couldn’t just say 'I love you' back. You deserved more than that, and I just, God. I'm speechless here, Ash. Of course I loved you, I still love you. You think you're worth only three words? I think you’re worth everything and more. You wanted me to tell you that I love you yet you didn’t even give me a chance!"

Once again, you’re crying. Quinn takes this as his chance to come around you and pull you into a hug.

"I love you, okay? And I don't want to fight anymore so will you please get in the car?"

You look up at Quinn, nodding your head, ready to forget about tonight.

Quinn gently raises his hand up to your face, wiping away your stray tears.

"I love you Quinn, so much. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, baby. Lets get you home."

Quinn walks you back to your car, haphazardly parked on the side of the road. Once the two of you are in the car, Quinn in the driver seat, you in the passenger, he reaches his right hand across the center console and grabs your hand that's resting on your thigh.

You look over at him. His left hand is on the steering wheel and his eyes are focused on the road.

"Will you stay over? I don't think I can go another night without you."

Quinns eyes dart to you before settling back on the road, he brings your hand up to his lips and leaves a kiss.

"I'm all yours, baby."

IM SORRY I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO END THIS.

#hockey blurb #quinn hughes #hockey boys #hughes brothers #nhl #jack hughes #luke hughes #nhl fic #quinn hughes blurb #quinn hughes imagine

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bellewintersroe · 10 months

Text

Daniel Ricciardo x HornerDaughter! Reader.

Part 10 wooohooo thank you for all your support I appreciate it massively!!! Don’t worry if this story has slowed down a little it’s going to pick right back up (without any spoilers 😉). Also I’m hating using the use of y/n it’s making me cringe, it’s too late to add a name to this character isn’t it 😭😭

Tension still continues between Daniel and her. Neither of their pain seems to be subsiding, and it’s safe to say Max is becoming semi-aware of their situation…

Warnings: talk of alcohol, mentions of a previous panic attack but nothing graphic, maybe some swearing? The next chapter will be HEAVYYYY, spicy, arguments, angst, crying omfg I am excited to write it so stay tuned 🤫

The first night she’d slept properly was after her panic attack, tiring her to the point of exhaustion as she passed out listening to all the cliche, heartbreak songs, Celine Dion was on the top of her list. The following few nights were hit or miss depending on sleep, luckily, right before Penelope’s 4th birthday party she’d managed to have a good sleep meaning she was pretty much raring to go.

She’d decided there’d be absolutely no tears and awkward interactions between Daniel and her, they’d texted a couple of times when he was checking if she was okay, but that was the extent of it. She couldn’t spend anymore time thinking about the man, nor could he spend any less time thinking about her. She plagued his mind, he felt like he was going absolutely crazy.

Struggling to carry the large bag full of barbies and the dream house she’d bought for the young one, Max ran over in amusement, taking the large present from her grasp. “Hi! Thank you, Max.” She offered him a quick hug. “What have you bought her, a car?!”

“Barbies of course!” “P’s gonna go crazy when she sees this. How are you anyway? Better after the other day?” She laughed out of embarrassment at his question. “I’m completely fine now, sorry I had to run away.” I shook my head. “No it’s fine, as long as you’re okay.” Max wasn’t an idiot, neither was Kelly. Neither was P.

“P was just concerned that’s all.” He patted her back with his free hand as smiled gently. “She’s excited to see you, P!” Max called out. “Look who’s here!”

“I’m excited to see her- oh my god! Is that the birthday girl?!” She fell to her knees at the little one ran into her arms, giddy with her birthday excitement. “Happy birthday, P!” She gave her a squeeze as P jumped back. Daniel watched with a gentle smile, his hand tightening around the grip on his beer bottle as his heart crumbled at the sight.

Meanwhile, she had to yet to see him there. She squealed with excitement, clapping as P did a spin her adorable dress. When she did say her hello’s she was speaking mainly with Kelly and a bunch of women she’d met a handful of times before. She was relieved to see her friends already there, somehow the thought of walking in somewhere was still intimidating to her. Through the whole evening her and Daniel didn’t speak once, they were on the opposite side of the garden all night, she stuck with her friends and he stuck with his. It somehow made Daniel feel more awkward than ever, and he wasn’t sure if it was a conscious effort on her behalf to speak to basically everybody but him. It hurt deep inside of him, it stung at his heart harsher than anything he’d felt before and a weird sickness would fill him every time he thought of how she’d avoided him. Daniel didn’t want it to be like that, if they couldn’t be together then surely they could be as close as they were before?

Daniel would always drive her places, grabbing her smoothies, and they’d always manage to find one another snickering in the most inappropriate moments. She’s sought him out after races where they’d gossip together, giggling at all the influencers there who had no clue what the hell was going on. Daniel never thought he’d miss when they were just friends, but the separation and distance between the pair felt uncomfortably cold. Another person who noticed this was Max. Odd little things had been happening, first y/n runs off crying, then Daniel looks like a sad puppy lingering around. He couldn’t help but recognise how the two didn’t speak, it was insightful, maybe he was looking too hard into it, but to Max it was blatantly obvious they were upset at one another. “You alright?” He approached the Australian man who was just preparing to leave. “Yeah, yeah, had a good time, thanks for the invite man.” Of course Daniel smiled in response.

“Something going on with you and y/n?” Max openly asked, Daniel was stunned, momentarily speechless. Maybe it was the alcohol, but Max blurted out the question quicker than he intended to. “Y/n?” Daniel flinched. “She was just a bit upset the other day, that’s all. I talked to her about it.” He scratched the back of her neck, partly avoiding Max’s question. The Dutchman decided against pressing him on the topic. The slight avoidance of the question struck Max as odd.

“Is she okay?” Daniel went to wince again. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure she is.” Although he wasn’t sure at all. She seemed good today, he was glad, but surely if she was over this whole thing she would’ve spoken to him… maybe he should’ve made the first move? Oh god, his mind was overthinking like crazy, even messier with Max’s straightforwardness. That evening it was Daniel’s turn to listen to pathetically cliche heartbreak songs.

A couple days later, after qualifying, she was there again. Daniel had just gained the 6th fastest lap time, however his track time was then deleted for exceeding track limits. It was a nightmare, she found herself going from cheering to stood in disappointment. She knew Daniel wouldn’t be so happy, he’d probably take it on the chin but 6th was incredible, especially to say he was driving a tractor.

That day, her feelings had warmed up to Daniel. It’s like seeing him again at P’s birthday rid some of the anger that contaminated her previously. Once she’d spoken to both Checo and Max, she noticed Daniel lingering not far away, he’d just been talking with her dad once he’d returned over from the Alpha Tauri garage.

He walked so close besides her, and he didn’t even notice her at first, until she stood up from tying her shoe lace and they were all of a sudden face to face. “Hi Daniel.” She borderline squeaked and he felt his stomach knot and flip. “Hey, you alright?” He scanned over her face. She looked good today, not so tired.

“I’m good.” She turned away. “How about you?” Her hand raised to shield the sun from her face, actually looking him dead in the eye now. “Ah, I’m okay.” He seemed to shrug, and for a second it was a little awkward. When she scanned over his face she could feel her stomach flipping.

“You did good today, I mean- I know the whole thing with the track limits happened, but to get initially to 6th is so good.” She spoke, shrugging her shoulders timidly. “Thank you.” His voice was gentle, slightly hoarse, his chest ached so desperately for her, he yearned for her so longingly.

“Red Bull 2024’s looking promising.” She commented light heartedly, even forcing a small breath of laughter as his lips twitched up softly. “Ah, I don’t know.” He dug his foot into the ground as her smile, too, faded and she glanced over him before down to the floor. It was awkward. And it was about to get 10x more awkward when Christian walked over. “What’re you two flirting about?!” Daniel felt breathless at the fathers comment, he was positive his cheeks were already burnt up. “Dad.” She scoffed out a laugh, playfully nudging his arm away. Daniel forced a laugh.

“I’ll see you both later.” He gave Christian a friendly smack on the arm before heading off in the opposite direction and not sparing her another glance. She winced at the action, unknown to the pain that rattled through Daniel’s chest.

“What was that all about?” Christian asked, eyeing up between Daniel and his daughter. Again, she winced, cringing at the thought of having to explain anything.

“I was just speaking to him about the qualifying.” She shrugged, although her tone wasn’t so convincing. “You’re both blushing.” He narrowed his eyes, an amused smile forming on his face. She knew what he’d do, tease her to death, despite being completely blind to everything else that had already happened.

“No im not!” She defended, spluttering and raising a hand to her obviously burning cheek. “Yeah you are! Look I know you might fancy Daniel a little but-“

“Stop, I’m not 12.” She grimaced. “He is a great bloke is Daniel, anyway.” Oh my god. She officially wanted the ground to swallow her up. Not only had her dad said this to her, but he ensured Max Verstappen was in right in the firing point, overhearing all the conversation.

Max oddly looked like he’d seen a ghost, he was slowly puzzling everything together and now he was convinced that y/n and Daniel were secretly doing it behind everybody’s backs. The girl in the hotel room, the ‘discreet’ love bite on her collarbone, the hushed conversations- Max was a genius!

“I knew it!” He stormed over, filled with excitement. As soon as Christian had left the scene, he was bursting to expose the secret he’d discovered. “Know what?!” She turned in surprise.

“You and Daniel, you’re together!” Oh fuck. She felt her eyes bulge and heart begin pounding. “What?! No, no, Max, no we’re not.” His smile faded seeing as how hushed she was being about it. “You’re not?!”

“No! I mean- no…” “But I’ve seen it, I’ve heard you both.” She cringed again at his words and knew there was no denying, she just needed to quieten him.

“No- I mean yes, but we’re not anymore. Please, please don’t say a word.” An odd sense of panic washed through her, Max was stunned, staring back to the anxious looking girl. Her eyes looked the exact same way they did at the race track the other day.

“I-I won’t. Are you ok?” “I’m fine, I am. Just please don’t say anything, you can tell Kelly just not a soul else.” She pleaded, luckily she knew Max was a man of his words. It felt oddly freeing to get the secret off her chest, it’s like it had been waiting to just be blurted out the whole time. Now it really felt real, the whole thing was semi out in the open, did it make her bad to be exposing something she promised to keep secret?? The thought would eat her alive, but so did the secrecy surrounding her, very much, public sadness…

———————————————————————

🫨🫨🫨🫨

@dinodumbass @mccall-muffin @allabouthappiness @benbarneslut @ricciardhoe-3 @headinthecloudssblog

#daniel ricciardo x you #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo

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peculiarpatches · 7 months

Text

𝗟𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁 - 𝗕𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗮 𝗦

(Set up in the New Moon timeline.)

Bella Swan x F! Reader. Basically a short and sweet smut between Bella and the reader.

Warnings:

Slight angst. Squirting. Oral. Strap-On. I think that's it...?? Let me know if I missed anything. My apologizes also if this isn't the best! It's Twilight season though, baby~ and I wanted to write something!!

Bella had been standing in the pouring rain for what felt like forever, the tears pouring down her face blending in with the raindrops from the sky.

She had no idea what had brought her here, to (Y/N)'s doorstep on a night like this, but here she was nonetheless. She shivered from the cold as she stood there, her clothes damp and her hair dripping.

(Y/N) had been in the middle of dinner when she heard the knock on the door. With her eyebrows furrowed together and curiosity getting the better of her, she turns the oven off as she made her way to the front door as the knocking continued. 'If it's those little brats down the road again, attempting to play ding-dong-ditch so help me God,' she thought as she unlocked the door and pulled it aside. However, instead of seeing a group of kids running off into the distance and going back to their homes, she saw her best friend standing in the doorway. "Bella, what are you doing here?" (Y/N) asked, feeling her heart break at the sight of her best friend.

The girl sniffled, wiping away the tears that had started to form again. She tried to pretend that the other person wasn't there, that she wasn't standing on her best friend's doorstep at this hour of the night.

"I don't know," she confessed. She was so embarrassed to be here, so embarrassed that she had come here in this state of mind. There was part of her that wanted to turn on her heels and to leave, not wanting to bother (Y/N). Especially considering how she treated her best friend.

(Y/N) stepped forward, taking Bella's hand with her own. She could feel the coldness of her fingers and the trembling of her body as she stood there. She gently pulled her inside, away from the rain and the cold, and closed the door behind them.

"Come on," (Y/N) said softly, leading her towards the living room. Bella followed (Y/N) obediently, her body still shaking from the chill of the night air and due to the harshness of the rain that had clung to her skin.

Once they were in the living room, (Y/N) sat Bella down on the couch and grabbed a blanket from the armchair, draping it over her shoulders. Bella quietly murmured a soft 'thank you' as she wrapped herself in the blanket.

(Y/N) sat down next to her, not wanting to break the silence that had settled between them. Bella wanted her to talk, to tell (Y/N) what had caused her to show up on her doorstep in tears.

Finally, Bella broke the silence. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

(Y/N) just looked at her, waiting for her to continue. Truth be told, she hadn't any idea how to answer or how to reply.

After all, Bella and (Y/N) weren't on talking terms for a few months so for Bella to show up unexpectedly, well... it was quite awkward to say the least. So, (Y/N) remained quiet, not daring to speak.

"It's just... Edward," Bella said, her voice trembling with emotion. (Y/N) almost rolled her eyes at the mention of that name that slipped past Bella's lips.

It took a lot of strength for her not to but luckily, somehow, she managed to not show disgust as she waited for Bella to continue. She gave a heavy sigh before continuing. "He... he broke up with me and I miss him. And I know, (Y/N). I know exactly what you're going to say. I know I shouldn't miss him and I also know that I shouldn't be here, especially since I pushed you aside when I got with him but... I had nowhere else to go. I don't have anybody else.

"There's Charlie but... he's too busy with work and I'd hate for him to see me like this, especially since he never did quite like Edward to begin with. I don't want to hear the whole 'I told you so' speech." She sighed again as she ran a hand through her hair, fingers trembling as she pushed the chestnut strand pieces out and away from her face.

She finally made eye contact with (Y/N) then, her eyes full of nothing but sadness and despair. Bella's voice broke as she said, "Please, forgive me, (Y/N). I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or push you aside. I just... I got so caught up on being loved and being in-love, I didn't think too much of anything else other than him. He was my world and I... I thought I was his too but apparently, I was wrong."

(Y/N) nodded, understanding what she was saying. She had seen how devoted Bella had been to Edward. Everyone could. Their relationship... to say the least, honestly wasn't the healthiest.

She didn't want to tell Bella - for obvious reasons - that she was glad he was out of the picture but... well, she was glad he was out of the picture. And if (Y/N) knew Charlie, she knew that Bella's dad was also happy with him being out of the frame as well. Yet, she still didn't know what to say - because for obvious reasons she wasn't going to say 'good, I'm glad he's gone - so she just didn't say anything.

Suddenly, Bella grabbed (Y/N)'s hand in hers. Her body was shaking, and her tears had started flowing again. She held (Y/N)'s hand tightly, as if she were afraid that she would disappear if she let go.

"I'm so scared," she whispered. "I'm so scared of being alone again. And again, I know you shouldn't accept my apology but please... please, (Y/N). Don't leave me... I can't... I don't want to be alone." Bella confessed, her voice cracking ever so slightly.

(Y/N) looked into her eyes, seeing all the fear and pain that was hidden there. She had no idea what to do, but she knew that she had to do something. She leaned in and gently placed a kiss on her forehead. Finally, she said something. "Bella, hey. Listen. It's okay. Well... it's okay to not be okay, anyway. I'm here. I won't go anywhere. Best friends forever, right? We promised that years ago and I don't tend to break that promise. You're stuck with me." (Y/N) said in a teasing manner as she tucked a piece of hair back behind Bella's ear. Bella sniffled as she nodded. (Y/N) rocked her gently, whispering words of comfort in her ear as Bella clasped onto her friend for dear life, fingernails digging into the fabric of her shirt.

When the tears had finally stopped flowing, Bella looked into (Y/N)'s eyes. Before Bella could realize what it is that she was doing, she found herself leaning in.

Eventually, her lips met (Y/N)'s and almost instantly, as soon as their lips touched, they both felt the electricity that ran between them. The kiss was gentle but passionate, and they both knew that they had crossed a line that they shouldn't have crossed. "Are you sure this is what you want?" (Y/N) asked as she broke away from the kiss, looking at Bella for confirmation. "I mean.. I'm no Edward by any means," She said. Bella nodded as her fingers ran up alongside (Y/N)'s jawline. "I'm sure. And no, you aren't him. You are better.. and... and I'm so deeply sorry I never realized that before, (Y/N)."

"Please," Bella begged. "Please, (Y/N). I need you. Show me what love is actually like..... Please?"

The plea melted (Y/N), and with a gentle yet firm grip, she ran her hands around Bella's body, caressing her soft curves, and nuzzling her face into the crook of her neck.

The warmth of her skin mixed with her delicate scent, sent a wave of pleasure through (Y/N)'s veins as she kissed her hungrily once again, biting Bella's bottom lip and sliding her tongue into the warmth of Bella's mouth, softly groaning at the taste of her tongue against her own.

Bella gasped as (Y/N)'s hands explored her body, her own hands exploring (Y/N)'s just as eagerly.

She felt an unfamiliar ache in her chest as (Y/N)'s lips moved against hers, and she felt herself slipping further into a blissful trance.

She clung to (Y/N) as they kissed, their hands exploring each other with a desperate longing, seeking something that neither of them could quite put into words.

As their lips parted, Bella looked into (Y/N)'s eyes, a soft smile gracing her lips. She could feel the heat radiating from (Y/N)'s body, and the electricity that seemed to pass between them was almost too much too bear.

She wanted to stay in this moment forever, to never let go of the feelings that (Y/N) evoked in her.

"I love you," she whispered, her voice barely above a whisper. (Y/N) smiled, her eyes filled with emotion, as she cupped Bella's face with her hands. "I'm sorry for... for not realizing it until now. It's always been you. I'm unsure as to why I didn't notice before but... I love you, (Y/N). I do."

"I love you too," (Y/N) said. "I've always loved you, Bella. I'm glad the feeling is mutual," She teased before she captured Bella's lips again with her own.

As (Y/N) slid her hands underneath Bella's shirt, her body arched into (Y/N) as if it had been craving the touch all along.

(Y/N)'s gentle kisses and caresses slowly melted away all the barriers that Bella had built around her heart, leaving her vulnerable and exposed.

Bella wanted to cry out in pleasure as (Y/N) explored her body, her fingers stroking her skin in such a way that made her want to scream. She felt like she was floating, her body overcome with sensations that were both new and familiar.

She felt (Y/N)'s hands move down her stomach, and she gasped as (Y/N)'s fingers teased her every curve.

Bella moaned into (Y/N)'s mouth, her body shaking with pleasure as (Y/N) continued to explore her. She felt like her heart was going to burst with love and desire, and she clung to (Y/N) as if her life depended on it.

(Y/N)'s hands never stopped moving, her touch was light yet firm, and she showed Bella a pleasure that she had never experienced before. She was lost to (Y/N), and as they kissed, she felt as if nothing else existed in the world.

The kiss went on, and soon their bodies were pressed tightly together, their hands exploring each other hungrily. Bella felt as if she could stay in (Y/N)'s arms forever, and never grow tired of it. (Y/N)'s lips explored her face, her tongue teasing her neck with soft wet kisses.

As their kiss came to an end, Bella felt as if she had been reborn, her skin tingling with pleasure and her heart racing from the intensity of their embrace. (Y/N) looked into her eyes and smiled, and as they pulled away Bella felt as if she was in a dream.

"I never want this moment to end," Bella said, her voice barely above a whisper. (Y/N) smiled and kissed her forehead, pure seduction seeping through her words as she uttered; "It doesn't have to," (Y/N) said with a smirk. "We're just getting started, babe." She hummed as she moved down to Bella's legs. She pulled both her panties and skirt down and threw them onto the floor as her fingers made their way up to her cunt. Bella's breath caught in her throat as (Y/N) tenderly spread her legs apart. The moon illuminated their bodies, casting a sensual glow over their entwined figures.

(Y/N) leaned in then and began to trace delicate kisses up Bella's inner thigh, each one sending a shiver of anticipation through Bella's body. As (Y/N) reached Bella's center, she placed a gentle kiss on her clit, causing her to gasp and arch her back. (Y/N) looked up at Bella, her eyes full of hunger and desire.

"Do you want me to keep going?" she asked, the smoldering heat in her voice sending sparks of lust shooting through Bella's veins. Bella could only nod in response, barely able to contain the wanton moan that threatened to spill from her lips. (Y/N) continued kissing and licking, alternating between soft touches and more intense flicks of her tongue that had Bella writhing with ecstasy. A few minutes passed before (Y/N) switched up the tempo ― increasing the speed at which she licked Bella's clit and adding in a digit to rub against Bella's inner walls. She added another finger, letting out a moan as she pumped them in and out. Bella gasped, her chest heaving as she raised herself up to meet (Y/N)'s hand. Her body was filling with fire; she needed more, more of (Y/N), more of this feeling ― more of everything. Suddenly, Bella felt her arousal burst forth, filling her with an electric jolt so strong that she was left breathless as her orgasm flowed through her like a raging river. She collapsed back onto the couch, sated and spent from the powerful orgasm that had just over taken her body. "Let's go to your bedroom," Bella said, her voice low and husky. (Y/N) smiled mischievously and helped Bella up from the couch before leading her into the hallway of (Y/N)'s house with an eager stride. They reached (Y/N)'s room quickly, both stepping inside cautiously as if they weren't sure what was about to happen next but were excited for whatever it may be all at once; twisting their bodies around so that when they came together, their faces were lined against each other in a fiery alignment meant solely for them two only ― yet full of promise nonetheless. Bella could feel herself trembling slightly ― every cell seeming filled with anticipation as she waited eagerly on whatever would come next... Once inside, it didn't take long for them to become lost in each other again; kissing hungrily with their bodies pressed together so tightly that it almost felt like one form instead of two separate entities.

But when (Y/N) moved away from Bella slightly, disappointment crashed over like a tidal wave only for it be replaced by surprise and excitement shortly after as the girl had pulled out a strap on from beneath her bed. Firmly but tenderly, (Y/N) positioned herself atop of Bella's body - straddling between Bella's thighs, she slowly placed the toy inside of her; forcing it in hard and evenly until both women heard the distinct sound of something entering another with a muffled pop. And with that, Bella's eyes began to roll back in pleasure ― her moans coming out soft and sweet mixed with the occasional gasp as (Y/N) moved faster, thrusting the dildo deeper into her, stretching her out and open, hitting that special spot of hers, one that she was never able to reach with her own toy neither her fingers.

With each thrust, a jolt of pleasure rushed through Bella's body like electricity. She moaned and dug her fingernails into (Y/N)'s back, feeling as if she were about to burst with ecstasy.

"I love you," she said breathlessly, her legs squeezing around the girl in intensity.

She tightened her legs around (Y/N)'s waist and repeated herself with conviction. For the first time, Bella could feel the immense love that she had for (Y/N), radiating from within her and coursing through her veins. She felt complete at that moment; (Y/N) was everything that she needed.

It made Bella's heart break, however, that she hadn't noticed before or realized just how much her best friend meant to her and how truly and maddening she was in love with her but... from now on, she was going to make sure to show (Y/N) how much she was loved and appreciated. Bella was going to make sure of that.

(Y/N)'s eyes lit up with love and admiration as she looked at Bella. She took a step forward and bent down, gently pressing her lips to Bella’s in a passionate kiss.

After the kiss ended (Y/N) smiled, tracing her finger along Bella's jawline. “I love you too, beautiful," (Y/N) said softly.

"It's okay, by the way. You don't need my permission to come."

Bella's body quivered as the words left (Y/N)'s lips and a warm sensation began to spread throughout her. As pleasure built up, it soon became unbearable and before she knew it, her orgasm was crashing over her like a wave and she couldn't help but release... and come undone and all over (Y/N). “Bella... did you just squirt?”

Bella's eyes widened and her breath hitched. She gulped, feeling embarrassed as the words left her mouth in a whisper. “I… I think? I'm not sure. Is that... was I not supposed to? Is that bad?”

(Y/N) shook her head gently, her eyes never leaving Bella's. “No, no. Oh, fuck no. That's, well, that's really fucking hot. And I'm glad to be the one to have made you do that."

"So.. can we do it again then?" Bella asked, sheepishly yet hopeful.

"Darling, I wish to make you feel this way all the time. I am yours, and you are mine, okay? Yes, we can do it again, babe. We can do it again and again, over and over." (Y/N) laughed before pressing her lips onto Bella's forehead, breathing in her scent and as she pulled back, she smiles and sighs happily. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Bella grinned.

#again i have no idea how to end stories #:)#bella swan x y/n #bella swan x reader #bella swan x femreader #bella swan x you #twilight fanfic #twilight fanfiction #bella swan smut #twilight smut #cierra's stories #written by cierra #twilight #bella swan

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stayevildarling · 3 months

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Cordelia Goode x Wilhelmina Venable x Billie Dean Howard x Reader - Black Friday

A/N: Hello everyone. I am currently obsessed with these three again so I apologise for the spam. I got the idea for this from the song ,,Black Friday'' by Tom Odell. I honestly wasn't sure whether to carry this on, write a part two or just keep it at this. I decided to post it now to see if anyone on here even still reads my stuff.

tw: mention of past abusive relationship, very mild mention of scars, angst + fluff

taglist: (if you wanna be added or taken off, send me a dm or an ask):

@lunaticwhittaker @billiebeanhoward,@lanawinters-ily,@kenzbro,@minaslittleone,@httpfiftyshadesofgay,@whitelotus00,@ninaahs,@vintagepaulson,@isle-of-earle,@paulsonsratched,@stepintomyworld,@grilledcheeseandguavajelly,@lucyintheskywithxanax,@fanfics4world, @mymiraclewitch, @hazard-to-myself

Laughter illuminated your face, the room spinning, music filling your senses. Infront of you, Billie dancing cheerfully while she smiled at you. In that moment you knew it was one of those little moments that you wouldn‘t forget. Her perfect blonde curls swaying in synch with her hips, her smile and her laughter filling your heart and her singing causing you to giggle. You were always a lot of things but definitely not one to party. You hated it, the drunk people around, the unnecessary hangover the next morning. But somehow Billie had convinced you.

„Just this once“ she beamed excitedly as she tried to convince you but also convincing your other two lovers, promising one of them could pick you up after and that she wouldn‘t drive, wouldn‘t drink too much and would look after you. Of course you agreed, what other answer could you have given the woman with the beaming smile and excited tapping of her heels and it was worth it, so worth it.

If there was one thing Billie had taught you over the years it was how to have fun. She turned your world upside down, making you experience things you had never experienced before. The medium taught you it was okay not to feel guilty for smiling or showing genuine laughter. Never scolding you for being too loud or embarrassing and never once not in the mood to spend time with you, get out the house with you or spoil you wrotten.

Then there was a certain redhead. Mina, your mina. She taught you what it‘s like to be happy. Billie taught you all the fun parts but Mina showed you true happiness. Quiet moments spent together, eyes meeting at the dinner table, finding a quiet spot in the garden or greenhouse and her reading a book to you. Your heart fills with happiness whenever you get to spend those moments with her. Just like Billie, she never made you feel uncomfortable, never scolded you for asking for things. If you had a bad day, she would take your hand, hold it gently against her cheek and asked what you needed.

„You look so pretty, pretty like the sun“ you whispered, as you sat in Cordelia‘s lap. Her arms wrapped tightly around you, making you feel safe. Delia was your sun, the supreme lit up your world from the start. Often you find it hard to describe her to people or the love you feel for her. But the sun was simply the next best thing. Cordelia is warm, her presence making a room smile and instantly feel safe and comfortable. Her hands always feel warm, instantly making you feel safe. The supreme had taught you what true kindness feels like. To never be ashamed of being too nice or kind to people, whether your loved ones or strangers you would never see again.

„You are so kind my darling“ Delia would tell you after you helped one of the new girls in the academy get settled, no time or effort ever too much for you.

Their love for you was something you couldn‘t grasp til this day. To be loved by three beautiful, kind and powerful women at the same time felt like a jackpot to you, one you didn‘t deserve.

„I‘m so selfish“ you think to yourself as you look in the mirror. Your own thoughts pulling you back into reality. Despite their best efforts the self doubts never quite stopped. Despite being told it was okay to have bad days.

As Wilhemina enters the livingroom, she finds the usual picture in front of her. The coven finally quiet after a busy day, Cordelia reading and grading things, her laptop tucked in her lap. Billie scrolling on her phone while also glancing at the tv from time to time. Despite being busy doing their own things, the two blondes had a blanket around their shoulders, sharing it and occasionally exchanging loving glances and soft gentle kisses.

Usually however, you would be part of this. Wrapped in between them or next to one of them. The biggest beaming smile painting your face as you see Mina, knowing she prefers the coven quiet and also having her work for the day finished.

Today you didn‘t sit there. No beaming happy smile. „Where‘s my little one?“ she asks which causes Cordelia to smile softly. „She hasn‘t really been around since going out to do the shopping earlier“. the supreme explains, the smallest bit of concern lacing her voice but deep down remembering Billie‘s words from earlier, telling her you would be fine and are probably just tired and having a nap.

You are still standing in-front of the mirror as Wilhemina makes her way up the stairs to your shared bedroom. Staring at yourself, feeling emptiness, while your head is filled with all sorts of thoughts and flashbacks.

„Little one?“ the redhead asks after entering the room, having knocked before with no reply as your thoughts completely blocked out your surroundings before. However, her gentle voice and the tapping of her cane, walking towards you, pulls you right back into reality.

„Sorry Mina“ you smile and walk towards her, shaking off your thoughts and mustering up your best smile. The woman scans you for a moment before one of her hands makes it‘s way to your cheek. „Are you alright?“ she asks gently.

Your eyes try to go anywhere but meet her brown eyes, however it was inevitable. Mina always knew when something wasn‘t the way it should be. And your eyes definitely spoke. Delia was the better one at getting things out of you but over the years Mina had learned how to make you trust her, never pressure you and accepting honesty if you didn‘t want to talk about it as long as you didn‘t hide, didn’t lie. That had always been the deal.

„I saw him today, at the shops“ you almost whisper. Your words take a moment for her to register before her demeanor changes. Anger washes over her face before she reaches out a hand to hold yours. „What happened?“ she asks, trying to stay calm.

You explain to the redhead how nothing actually happened and while he tried to talk to you, he didn‘t actually do anything. You might have left out the part where he said some unnecessary things as you knew it would anger and trouble the redhead. Mina tries her hardest to comfort you as she faces an inner battle. She hated him, ever since Cordelia had found out what your ex boyfriend had done to you, physically and emotionally she had trouble not to go out looking for him. She could never understand how someone could treat you this way. Despite Wilhemina‘s past being filled with abuse and hatred, she could never accept that happening to you, her little one and her everything.

„Is there something I can do, little one?“ she asks with a gentle smile. „A book, some tea, a bath?“ she offers, having slowly learnt those things from Cordelia after having to learn herself what could give her comfort in moments of sadness or overwhelming emotions.

After thinking for a moment, you decide for the bath but reassure her that she didn‘t need to run it for you. You feel like having some quiet and being able to process the flashbacks alone. Wilhemina agrees, only after making you promise you would let either of them know if you needed company or anything at all.

As you sit in the bathtub, a while later, adding some of the camomile and lavender bath set that Cordelia had gotten you for your last birthday, you take some deep breaths, trying to calm down, forget about the whole thing. „You‘re so weak, selfish for telling her, it‘s pathetic“ the little voice in your head quickly reminds you. Still burnt into your brain, after he had put all those things into your head years ago. Despite years of healing with your three girlfriends, it didn’t take a lot for the voice to come and haunt you again.

Cordelia‘s thoughts are interrupted as she hears the tapping of Wilhemina‘s cane. She always knew what each tap meant, normal content Wilhemina, nervous Mina, angry Mina. And this was definitely concern and anger reflected in the slightly faster taps than usual. Instantly she puts her laptop and work aside before her eyes meet Wilhemina‘s as she finally enters the room.

„Whats wrong?“ Billie asks, also knowing by now what this expression means. „She saw him today at the shops“ the redhead states coldly but her voice filled with anger. Cordelia immediately stands up, inviting Wilhemina to sit down before calming her down a bit and giving her the chance to explain.

„I thought he was gone“ Billie snaps after the redhead finishes explaining what you had told her not that long ago. „I thought you placed a protection spell around her“ Billie snaps at Cordelia. The supreme explains calmly how that doesn‘t apply to meeting him by coincidence in a shop. „I‘m gonna go up and check on her“ the supreme announces.

Meanwhile you pull your knees closer to you, hugging them. ,,I want a better body, better skin'' you think to yourself, the voice still having the upper hand. The warm water was meant to help make you feel less shaken, the smell of the bath salts making you feel calmer. However it wasn‘t helping. The words of abuse, cycle in your head over and over again like a broken record. Suddenly the tiny scars that Cordelia healed and fixed visible again.

As the supreme approaches the bathroom your thoughts replay in her mind. Being the most powerful witch, Cordelia usually has the ability to keep her clairvoyance controlled. The ability to read other's thoughts. However, with you, Billie and Wilhemina sometimes her magic alerted her of something needing to be adressed or needing the supreme's attention. Your words pain the woman as she takes a deep breath standing in front of the bathroom door.

,,Darling?'' she knocks gently, pulling you out of your thoughts. ,,Yes Delia?'' you ask before she replies if she may enter. You think about it for a moment, not really wanting her to see you in a state like this but also knowing she would be worried if you refused. ,,Sure'' you simply reply before she enters. She gives you a gentle smile as she closes the door and approaches you. As your girlfriend kneels down beside the bathtub, you get a sense of her perfume, reminding you of her, of home.

Both of you sit in silence for a moment before her brown eyes meet yours. That's all it took for your chin to wobble and your eyes betraying you, tears rolling down your cheeks. ,,Oh darling'' she whispers before taking your cold hands into her warm ones. Your eyes reflect sadness but also the silent ask for help, for Delia to take over and as soon as she notices, she simply nods, telling you it's going to be okay.

Gentle sunshine Cordelia takes over, helping you finish your bath, drying you off, drying your hair for you and braiding it. She put you in one of her pyjamas before sitting you down on the bed, positioning herself behind you and wrapping her arms around you. Her head rests on your shoulders and her blonde hair falls on your face, taking in the smell of her shampoo, also reminding you of home and helping you to feel a bit calmer.

,,Do you think they are okay?'' Billie asks, still sitting in the living room with Wilhemina. The redhead takes a moment to think before assuring ,,I'm sure they are, otherwise Cordelia would have let us know''. Billie sighs slightly in annoyance. Part of her simply missing your presence as she hasn't seen you most of the day, another part of her annoyed that she couldn't help like Mina had done prior and now Cordelia. The redhead sitting next to her, senses her annoyance and despite not having the magic ability to read minds, knowing exactly what the medium was thinking.

,,How about you take some tea up to the bedroom? I'm sure that would be helpful'' she smiles gently at Billie. The mediums heart fills with warmth, knowing moments like these are exactly the reason she had fallen for the redhead. She agrees and excitedly waddles off to the kitchen. Mina smiling warmly, as she walks away, her heels tapping on the marble floor.

Meanwhile all your thoughts and emotions had spilled out of you. Delia right there, catching every single tear, listening to every word, making you feel safe and keeping you comfortable. She makes you feel valid with every single thing you say, slowly replacing the voice in your head, with her soft one, reminding you that you are none of those things. ,,I wanna be happy Delia'' you mumble through tears. ,,Do you think you can show me how it's done?'' you carry on. The blonde fights back her own tears, your statement causing for her heart to ache. ,,Of course my darling'' she whispers, pulling you onto her lap, as you rest your head on her chest.

The room is quiet for a while, your tears finally stopped, the only thing to be heard, Delia's heartbeat as you still rested on her chest. A gentle knock interrupts the silence. ,,Come in'' Delia softly says. As the door opens, you open your eyes and see Billie walk in, carrying a little tray with some cups and a teapot. ,,Um- I made some tea for you'' she announces anxiously. Delia smiles softly before looking down to see your face. She walks closer, placing the tray on one of the bedside tables before smiling at you and turning around to leave.

,,Billie?'' you whisper softly and she instantly turns around. ,,Yes babydoll?'' she asks as her eyes lock with yours. ,,Why is there only two cups?'' you ask confused. A bright smile fills her features as Delia smiles proudly. ,,I'll get some more'' she happily announces. ,,Could you ask Mina to come up as well please?'' you ask, your voice sounding small. ,,Of course sweetie'' she smiles softly before leaving for a moment. Delia presses a gentle kiss to your head before whispering ,,I'm so proud of you sweetheart''.

A couple of hours had passed, four tea cups now empty on the nightstand, the air filled with the smell of lavender. You are cuddled up in the middle of the bed. Delia to your right, Mina and Billie to your left. Their soft comfortable presence eventually made you fall asleep, feeling safe in their presence. ,,Do you think she's going to be okay?'' Billie asks after a while. Mina's hand finds hers under the blanket holding it tightly. ,,She will be just fine my love'' Delia replies confidently.

#cordelia goode #wilhemina venable #billie dean howard #ahs #american horror story #cordelia goode x reader #ahs coven #ahs apocalypse #sarah paulson #writing #billie x Cordelia x wilhemina #billie dean howard x reader #wilhemina venable x reader #Cordelia Goode x reader

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aka-libby · 10 months

Text

Counting Our Regrets

Aki Hayakawa x gn!reader | established relationship | semi-canon [ domestic tooth rotting!fluff + angst (with happy ending/comfort) ]

Word count: 4.3k

Warning(s): mentions/implied topic of de*th, insecurities about love, VERY BRIEF mentions about rough past regarding home life

Summary: Aki hated you at first but after a series of events his view on you changed. Now you’re together as a couple, with the regrets of wasting all that time hating and being avoidant of the inevitable spark you had. Yet even with these regrets on the both of you, it’s when you’re in his apartment having dinner like any other night that he finally realized how he truly feels about you.

A/N: So I have a story in the WIP folder that explains their past and how they became the couple here in this fic. There is a LOT to unfold and it’s honestly a drain to write angst and pain all the time SOOOOO I would write this fic when I’m bored and somehow I finish this one first…. so now here we are. I do hope it’s not confusing but hints enough context for readers to understand the development of the two. Plus I’m WAYYYYY too impatient to wait to post this cause I’m so PROUD OF IT UGH.

Anyways enjoy.

“Is it weird that I still get a bit nervous every time he invites me over for dinner?”

Your friend laughs over the phone. “Really?! It’s been so long now. Just breathe and treat it like any other time you guys are together.”

You’re glaring at them, even though they can’t see it. “I’m serious. You know how the past was, we hated each other… well he hated me. I don’t blame him though, it was in every way my fault for how things are but… still.”

Your friend probably heard the change in your tone towards the end. The mischievous aura drips from them. “I understand but the situation has changed now. You stopped being a lil brat and he realized the amazing person that you are underneath it. He fell for you instantly, I see it and am reminded of it everyday when I see you two in the same room.”

“Really?” You are curious now about what they meant. “What do you mean?”

“You don’t see it?” The utter disbelief from their tone surprises you more. “The way he looks at you speaks millions. Like a moth lured to a bright ass light. I believe it.”

You smile as your chest lightens from the doubts slipping off you. Their words really eased your mind. “That’s… cute.” Images of Aki flash in your mind of all the times he would get embarrassed when caught showing any form of affection. “He’s really sweet.”

“He is and it is cute but also utterly revolting.” They gag through the phone. “You two are so lovesick for one another and yet SOOOO oblivious at the same time. My eyes get cavities from seeing you two within the same radius.”

The both of you chuckle a bit before they bids their farewell. “Now go in and enjoy the dinner, okay? Tell me more about it later.”

“I will. See you soon.” You say before ending the call.

The grip on the plastic bags you have to your side tightens as you take a deep breath in and out. You know more than anyone this night will be just like any other night. Just a casual dinner with 2 co-workers/friends and your boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

Your lips form into a soft smile as the title lingers in your head. It feels too surreal to be together now after a year of discord between you and Aki. Then a time period of uncertainty of what kind of relationship you guys had. It was the result of the change with his thoughts about you and your thoughts about life. With Himeno’s death being the catalyst to it all.

It doesn’t help that both of you have gone through great suffering revolving around death. Life is unfair to both of you. His family was taken away so suddenly by a worldwide Devil attack while yours…

Agh, the thought hurts too much to think about.

Even with all the hurt, pain, and self projecting in denial of the truth of it all you two somehow ended up here, together. It made you happy to realize that after so long but so late. With time still ticking every single second, it’s only sooner than later that both your lives could end so suddenly.

With Aki’s time limit down to 2 years and yours still in the air, anything could happen at any moment. It was hard carrying the regret of projecting your trauma and fear of abandonment to the relationships around you. How you pushed others away to protect them and yourself. It wasn’t fair to you or your comrades.

They never got to meet the real you.

Your thoughts are cut from the feral screech coming from behind Aki’s door. You know all too well who it was, and you smile softly from the moment, as it reminds you to be present in the present. No time to dwell on your regrets, it will only waste more of your limited time.

You are with Aki now, that’s all that matters.

Finally, you take the last few steps over to Aki’s door. Knuckles barely hovering over the door before it’s busted open.

Power cheers out your name as she pulls you in for a half hug, arm over your shoulder. Her eyes don’t meet yours, instead they’re on the bags at your sides. “You brought food for me?! I'm STARVIN.”

“Hey!” a familiar voice echoes from inside. “That’s no way to treat guests!”

Power is quick to nag back at him with a roll of her eyes before taking the bags out of your hands. “Allow me!” She excitedly offers but you know there are other intentions behind her kindness. Your head shakes from her obvious facade.

Walking into the Hayakawa Residence, you instantly envelop yourself in the comforting feeling of your second home. The smell of the three housemates and the aroma of home cooked food wafts into your nose causing your previous insecurities to flee. Is this what it's like to be at ease? You’re pretty sure it is by how safe you feel once the door closes behind you.

Turning around the corner, you see Aki casually stirring a mixture of veggies in a savory sauce in a wok. It instantly waters your mouth. “Hi Love.” You greet walking over to where he is in front of the stovetop.

It was then you realize what your friend’s comment meant earlier, about how Aki looks at you. His eyes instantly shine with adoration and his body is fully turned towards you, letting go of whatever he was focused on to meet you halfway. Once you’re within his grasp, he pulls you into a hug and kisses the top of your head.

“Hello love, was the trip here okay? I’m sorry I couldn’t pick you up.” He apologizes before rubbing your back soothingly.

Shaking your head to look up, you reassure him with a smile. “It’s fine, don't worry. I can’t expect you to always pick me up and host a dinner.”

“I know but I would rather do it knowing you are safe than for you to take a taxi or walk here.” He tells you softly with his arms now draped over waist, his hands interlocked behind you. Blue eyes still looking at you. “Next time I’ll open my schedule up to do so.”

You instantly shake your head. “No, you’ve done too much for me.”

He looks at you softly, almost bittersweetly. “It feels like I haven’t done enough.”

Your lips are already on his nose before he could continue. “You’re perfect.”

Those insecurities leave him and it’s replaced by the previous admiration he first had when you walked into his field of view. Instead of replying, he just pulls you in for another tight hug, his cheek now on top of your head. His indirect way of saying many things with one action.

You mean the world to me.

I appreciate you.

Thank you.

Pulling back from the hug to check up on the veggies he was stirring earlier, you point towards the living room, where Power and Denji lay as they go through the plastic bag you brought. “I hope you don’t mind but I brought some extra food I prepared yesterday and sweets.”

“Mmm you didn’t have to. I made extra food too.” He explains as he tosses the veggies around the sauce, evenly coating each cut piece. “But I do appreciate it, thank you love.”

I smile and wrap an arm around his torso. “I don’t mind. It was going to rot in my fridge anyways with how often I eat here. Plus, you have 2 extra mouths to feed.”

His soft eyes gloss over to you, and he can’t help but feel the need to kiss the side of your head. “You’re the best.”

“Oi! Can you cook faster and stop flirting so much!” I hear Denji yell from across the place. Aki’s soft feature forms a frown as he goes to scold Denji for interrupting the moment.

Just now remembering you had more people in the room, you walk off to where the other two reside. Both are already munching on the baked goods you’ve brought, happily enjoying it while watching their show.

“Like em?” You ask Denji as you sit down next to Power. Her cat senses your presence, immediately heading over to you, purring happily under your loving touches. “Hi cutie.”

Without taking his eyes off the screen, he replies back with his mouth stuffed. “Therwe realu-

“Don’t talk with your mouth full!” Aki scolds from the kitchen.

“Whamever.” He dismisses but gulps it down anyways before continuing. “Good ass…” He draws a blank. You watch the way the gears in his mind slowly rotate as they try to put together a coherent sentence. “Good ass goods!”

Power slams her hand flat onto his back, repeatedly slapping him, and causes poor Denji to choke mid consumption of the said goods. Her boisterous laugh echoes within their flat. “You sound more stupid than usual!” She hollers out then starts shaking him.

He starts to cough from all the sudden movements and finally dryly swallows the food. Despite watching Denji almost choke, you can’t help but laugh from watching the events unfold. They really were siblings by heart.

As the conversation slowly dies, Aki takes this opportunity to step outside to smoke. Everyone sits comfortably in the ambience. With the sound of the Tokyo nightlife and the lowered volume of the TV playing some random channel, it really lured everyone to a relaxed state of mind.

It could be the combination of good food and it being quite late into the night that caused both Denji and Power to pass out on the ground. Your buzzy self smiles at the sight of them, so peaceful from the food coma. The whole environment feels so… nice.

It was somewhat odd for you. Your body is aware of the empty space where your walls and guard used to be. Not really used to this feeling of being safe and secure. Growing up in a chaotic and unstable household really puts a toll on you and your point of view on what a safe home should make you feel.

In a way, you never really felt at “home” before.

The silence you’re used to in your own apartment isn’t much different compared to what you’re currently experiencing now, but it makes you feel different. You don’t feel lonely or alienated. You feel…. comfortable. You’re not sure if it’s the alcohol or the fact you are now just appreciating what a domestic life is like, but it’s a new foreign feeling. Nonetheless, it’s not unwelcome, it’s more than welcome.

You hope this doesn’t come to an end anytime soon.

Taking in a sip of the alcohol of your choice, your eyes pick up on the mess that surrounds you. Dirty plates, unfinished platters of food, both used and unused napkins sprawled over the table. Overall it was just messy, but honestly this is what's expected from a late night dinner with Power and Denji involved.

Without another thought, you stood up with your wobbly tipsy legs and started to clean up. Picking up the empty cans and garbage as you scout the room for more.

“Hey.” Aki calls out for you, head just barely poking into the apartment.

You look up at him, an empty beer can in hand. “Hey.” You greet, confused.

His brows lowered from your response. “I wasn’t saying hi. What’re you doing?”

“Oh.” A giggle escapes from your lips from your tipsy brain. You continue to pick up the beer cans and toss them into the recycling bag. “Cleaning up.” You answer simply.

“You’re a guest.” He starts off walking towards you and takes the bag. “You should be relaxing.”

“You hosted this Aki, in your own home. The least I can do is help clean up just a bit.” You explain then immediately start to stack all the dirty dishes. “How about you get the garbage and I’ll do the dishes. Hm? How does that sound?”

Leaving no room for him to argue further, you leave the living room and head to the kitchen. Aki watches as you walk away happily with the stack of dishes in hand. You look over to him once, an eyebrow raised from his stare.

“What?” You ask as you hold a soapy dish sponge in one hand and a dirty plate in the other, scrubbing away the grim and food off the plates one by one.

A lot of thoughts are running through his mind but he makes no attempt to show it. He just shrugs and chuckles. “Nothing.”

Both of you fall back into comfortable silence. Only breaking it to drop a couple of small talk here and there. With the TV still running in the back, now on the news channel. You make notes on a few topics the news anchor mentions and Aki does the same, feeling comfortable with the surface level talks.

Nothing about this was new to either of you. You always offer freely to clean up when invited over and Aki follows up by refusing you from doing so. A routine both of you are accustomed to for the past couple of months. In some way, you should feel content or happy being with someone who flows with you so easily and has grown accustomed to you over time.

But as your thoughts simmer a bit longer, a bitter side to all of this comes around. You’re reminded of the reality you’re truly in. Both you and Aki’s death are determined when you both sign your life away to Public Safety. With Aki being two years left and yours possibly just as short.

The unwavering and daunting feeling never goes away and always ruins moments like these you want to cherish and really be in, to really exist in. No matter how much you try to avoid it, the feeling was and is always there. It doesn’t help that a good chunk of your time with Aki was wasted on avoiding getting to this intimate point in your relationship.

The person you were back then would’ve looked down on you. How could you give in to these selfish desires? Get into a relationship with someone knowing the limited time you have left. It wasn’t fair to them or you. A cruel ending to have to anyone. So you did what at the time felt like the best thing to do, barricaded yourself from the world.

You were committed to keeping a facade up. A mock up personality to shield you and others from getting close to you. You hoped you could keep up with it long enough that one day you leave this world and feel relief no one would experience grief like you did.

Sadly even with trying to avoid the inevitable, you landed in the worst possible position ever. To end up regretting what you did and having to accept the conditions your fear set out for you. If only you gave up sooner than later. Maybe just maybe you would have enjoyed more of these moments with Aki.

“You okay?”

Your head whips to him, ocean eyes hold much concern. “Yeah why?”

He frowns, not convinced at all. “You’re shaking.”

It’s when he mentions it that you realized your shaky hands. Instantly you shove whatever lingering thought you had left and try to play it off as something else, despite knowing he wouldn’t believe you. “Just….” You trail off drawing a blank for an excuse.

“If you’re going to lie, at least make it believable.” He scolds but his actions don’t mirror his words as he pulls you in for an embrace. “There’s something bothering you. You can talk to me, you know?”

You have… Already. It was a topic that was brought up quite often between the two of you. It was hard to really fully walk past the topic. No advice or form of communication would really ease the both of you of what’s yet to come. But it does in some way help temporarily. At least, until you come back to the same thought again like now.

A sigh leaves your lips when you snuggle closer into his chest, arms wrapped tightly around his large frame. “You already know what it is.”

The same sigh leaves his lips as his grip tightens. “I’m here nonetheless.”

Much to his response, it does say a lot. Both of you fall into another routine. Where one would be reminded of the ticking time bomb and the other comes around to comfort them. Neither of you felt the need to speak more with how often it happens. It was a silent way of saying “I’m tired of this too, but just know I’m here for you if you wanna talk more. Just say it and I’ll be here to listen.”

After a few moments, you finally pull back to look at him. A bittersweet smile on your lips. “Thank you.”

His arms never leave you. Instead, they are holding the sides of your arms, thumbs rubbing soothing circles into you. “Anytime.”

Finishing up the last bit that was needed to be done, you both head out to the balcony. You pulled a bit of the curtain from inside to shield where his dingy white lawn chair was on his balcony. A simple but not really effective way to have some privacy from the sleeping children. As you close the sliding glass door, the chills of the night are apparent on your bare arms.

Aki sits down first then signals for you to take the spot on his lap. “Sit, I’m not making you stand.”

Well, you can’t really deny such a tempting offer. You smile at him before doing just that. Both of you adjust yourselves a bit before settling comfortably in the current position. Your head on his shoulder, his arms wrapped around your waist, and fingers intertwined on your lap.

The soft buzz of the night life from his quiet neighborhood drowns out your thoughts as you stare aimlessly at the street lights. His arm that was once on your waist now hoists up just below your upper back. He pulls you in closer.

“Hm?” You question the sudden movement.

Aki is silent for a few seconds before talking. “I was just thinking.”

You return the same silence before saying. “Care to elaborate?”

“I…” He pauses, unsure how to say what he wants to say.

There was just too much to say and too little of the time to say it at that moment. No amount of words or poems could describe the cloud 9 feeling he gets when he sees you there, just existing in his world. It reminds him so much of everything that it overwhelms his mind and makes him draw a blank during moments like this.

Where he wants to say everything but can’t.

So many words and sentences just zoom around him like dust in the air getting blown until it turns into a tornado. Every fleeting thought gets thicker and stronger. It consumes his mind and he can’t choose nor figure out what he wants to say during moments like these. What’s something that could just say everything he needs to say all at once? To tell you he appreciates you. Wants to stay like this with you forever. To continue to live in each other's presence until time stops him for good.

To see you come through that damn door again with a big smile and sparkling eyes as you hold bags of food in both your hands happily. While greeting him with that god forsaken fucking melodic voice of yours.

It hits him.

It’s so simple but it finally hits him.

He looks down at you, meeting your eyes one last time as his nervousness clogs his own throat. The phrase in itself is simple but the meaning is so heavy, so meaningful to him that it almost scares him away from being able to say it. But it’s the only thing that really describes this feeling he feels for you.

God he should really shut up and just say-

“I love you.”

He watches closely to the way your face reacts to this statement, both out of fear and excitement. It’s when he sees the way your eyes get slightly glossy and your cheeks burn bright in warm hues like a sunrise that he reflects the same expression with the biggest smile.

Not much is said. Only the sound of multiple pecks and tender kisses from Aki as he covers your whole face with love. You giggle like a lil highschool girl from all the affection. After almost basically covering 90% of your face in kisses, you finally get a word in. Feeling overwhelmed from joy and love.

“I love you too.” You finally say, holding his face close til your noses are just barely touching. “I… Never thought you could ever love me.”

He understands very well what you meant by that. Given the history between the two of you, but he doesn’t care. At least at this moment he doesn’t. The rays of pure unfiltered feeling of love is all too consuming and subtly blinds him from truly acknowledging the double meaning to your statement.

“We have gone off on the wrong foot and I know we both regret heavily how late it is to be in this position.” He starts off in a whisper then tilts his head slightly to rub the side of your noses, lips barely hovering over yours. “But to me, in this very moment with you, without all the worries we had been dealing with before for weeks. Hell fucking months!” Raising his tone just a bit to playfully emphasize the last part of his statement. “I know for sure I love you. The person here on my lap. The body that holds your beautiful heart and the beautiful heart that holds your soul. From every bit and piece of you, that is all for me to love until I can no longer feel.”

You feel your face get more red with every word being said. It absolutely stuns you to the core and you can’t get your mind to put together a sentence or a single word to say. You’re not used to this true unadulterated form of love. It completely fried your brain, and the only response or reaction you gave were tears.

“I…” You first choke out. “I didn’t do anything special.” You sob out. The big insecure part of you is in some way confused by his declaration. “All I’ve done is hurt you, Aki. I don’t understand.”

He quickly adjusts your positions enough to fully face you from above. Your eyes are bloodshot red, cheeks wet from tears. It’s so painful to see the doubts you’ve had hidden from him resurface but he doesn’t mind. Cause you’re you. He loves you for you, therefore he loves all that comes with you.

Aki starts to kiss your tears and gently guides you to sit up on his lap. Both his hands on your cheeks, wiping the remaining falling tears with his thumbs.

“Hurt is inevitable. We’re human, hurting others will always happen whether we intended to or not. I forgive you love, because I understand what it’s like to be scared of connecting. Especially in the field we’re working in.” His voice is tender and gentle, reassuring you with much sincerity.

He takes the time to really admire every little detail about you. How your hair frames your face. The little scratches and scars from Devil attacks on the cheeks he loves to kiss. How your eyes hold every single emotion that shapes the person you are today.

Your entire being is everything to him.

“You were made to be loved. I don’t care what person or experience made you believe you weren’t but I’m telling you this now sincerely that you were made to be loved inside and out.”

As each word escapes his lips, he can’t help but inch your face closer and closer and closer until his lips just barely hover over yours.

“Especially by me.”

There was a part of you that wanted to scream at him for lying. For spewing out such bullshit to you at this moment. Cause how can someone so beautiful like him love someone so complex and messy like you? How is that possible?

Whatever the case was, there was a stronger, more hopeful side to you that believes everything he claims. It constantly clashes swords with your insecurities. The same insecurities that made you push him away.

And you know better than to do that now.

He watches the way your eyes light up just a bit as a smile forms. “I love you Aki. Thank you for being…. You.”

It’s after saying that you finally lean in and kiss him with all the same love and care he has for you. He makes no mistake to delay this. Kissing you back with all his entirety. Your souls intertwine through an invisible bond the more the kiss deepens. Unspoken love of affirmations set ablaze the passion you have for each other.

And in that very moment, both of you knew no matter how much time you guys wasted wishing and counting your regrets. You still had each other. As bittersweet as it is, that’s all anyone could ask for.

Well… Aki is hoping he could ask for your hand in marriage but let’s leave that for another time.

A/N: thanks for reading! please let me know if you see any mistakes with the gn!reader pov, this is my first :)

#aki hayakawa #aki hayakawa x reader #aki hayakawa x gn!reader #csm x reader #aki hayakawa fluff #aki hayakawa angst #aki x reader #chainsaw man fanfic #aki hayakawa fanfic #self insert #domestic fluff

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m00nlight-ramblings · 3 months

Text

Like Real People Do: Chapter 3

Chapter 3 of "Like Real People Do"

Working a Saturday shift, Eddie and Dustin come to the rescue to help you leave work early...only after you've met potentially a new friend.

Read Chapter 2 here

Pairing: Eddie x female reader (named "Brooke" because I hate using Y/N, but will also be using "you" to make it reader-centric!)

Warnings: swearing, angst if you squint enough

Word Count: 2.11k

A/N: Graphic made by me. I do not give permission for my work (graphic and writing) to be shared without my permission. I have a taglist for this fic, let me know if you'd like to be added to it!

The weather had finally gave way to autumn, the citizens of Hawkins saying goodbye to their tank tops, and hello to their sweaters. The sun was shining on this crisp, autumn day, making you a little stir crazy while you worked your Saturday shift.

Huffing and wiping your brow, you pushed the shelving cart through the Non-Fiction section, feeling like you were missing out. It was a Saturday and the library was virtually empty, and as you watched a group of kids run past the windows, you frowned slightly, wishing you were anywhere but there.

Sure, you loved the library – you loved reading! – but now that your social life was taking a turn for the better in Hawkins (you had gone out a couple of times with Nancy Wheeler, and oddly enough, her younger brother and his crew…most importantly, Eddie), you wanted to go do fun things. For instance, you knew that Eddie and the rest of Hellfire were going to the mall that afternoon, and were later grabbing burgers at Benny’s.

Your mind wandered to Eddie as you grabbed a small stack of books to re-shelve. Thinking of how, in the past few weeks, you had fallen into a nice friendship with him, and how, if given the chance, you’d want to seriously suck face with him.

Not that you’d admit that out loud.

Butterflies appeared in your stomach as you couldn’t help but smile, thinking back at the last time you had hung out with Eddie – after a Hellfire Club meeting, you met him in the parking lot to grab late night sodas at the local convenience store. Somehow, he made sitting in a dimly lit parking lot until 1 AM excessively fun, especially when he kept leaning into you every time he laughed.

Sigh.

His hair was extra curly that night, the summer humidity hanging on for dear life fluffing it up a bit. You noticed he smelled really good too, which, was how he smelled all the time…but it was still really good, and sill worth noticing.

“Uh…excuse me?” Some said from behind, snapping you out of your daydream. You jumped a little and turned around, facing a boy around your age, waving his hand awkwardly. When he finally got your attention, he smiled, “Hi. I’ve been trying to ask for help for a bit now…I hope you’re not in the middle of something?”

You blushed, embarrassed, “Oh god, no. I’m sorry. My brain is…somewhere else.”

He waved his hand as if to say “no big deal”, “It’s Saturday. Your brain isn’t supposed to be working that hard today, anyway.”

You laughed and nodded, “What can I help you with?”

“Well, I’m doing a report on Napoleon for school, and I was wondering if you could help me find some stuff on him?”

“Oh…well, you’re in the right section, and it’s alphabetical, so you can start at the N’s…but unfortunately, I’m not a librarian, so I can’t help you find exactly what you’re looking for…I just put stuff back on the shelves,” You gestured to the pile of books you were holding in your arms, “Eventually. I do put them back on the shelves…eventually.”

The boy nodded and stalled a moment, looking down at your outfit. “Do I…know you? Do you go to Hawkins High?”

You nodded, “I do. I transferred this year. I’m Brooke.”

“Michael. Nice to meet you.” He extended his hand to shake it, but suddenly took his hand back, “Actually…let’s not. Because of the books…” He blushed a little, “I don’t want you to drop them.”

You smiled and waved your elbow as a greeting, “Nice to meet you,” Awkwardly, you transferred weight on your feet, “Well…I better get back to this…the librarian is over in the corner over there if you have questions.” You nodded towards the librarian, who may or may not have been currently sleeping.

Michael gave a little wave, “Yeah, sure. Thanks…it was nice to meet you.” He turned and walked a few steps away, but turned to look back at you. Giving you one last smile, he disappeared around the corner.

Huh. He was nice.

Suddenly, there was a giant crash near the front of the small library. You craned your neck and saw the front display of books on the floor, the books scattered in every direction. You followed the two pair of sneakers standing in front of the (now broken) display, and unsurprisingly, you found Eddie and Dustin. Sheepishly, they waved.

You rolled your eyes and put the book stack down, marching towards them, “What are you guys doing here?” You asked, your voice a hoarse whisper. You snuck a glance at the librarian at the front desk who was wide awake now.

“We’re here to bail you out!” Eddie said proudly, crossing his arms. You smiled at him.

“…you’re what?”

“We’re here to bail you out!” Dustin echoed, shouting excitedly. The librarian stood and put a finger to her lips.

Shh!

“No, I get that, but,” You ushered them over to a corner, trying to not get in trouble, “Why?”

“Because you shouldn’t be cooped up at work on such a beautiful day.” Eddie said, almost in a “duh!” fashion.

“Okay…and how are you going to bail me out?” You asked, incredulously.

Suddenly, Eddie grabbed your arm and dragged you over to the librarian’s desk, Dustin in tow.

“Ma’am!” Eddie said, suddenly acting nervously, “I am this young lady’s brother and I just found out that she is really sick…our doctor just called our house. He told us she shouldn’t be out, so our mom just asked me to take her home.”

“SHE’S CONTAGIOUS!” Dustin wailed dramatically, earning another “Shh!” from the librarian.

“You guys!” You hissed, embarrassed. You could feel the deep blush rising in your cheeks.

The librarian looked at them, then at you, and then at the clock. It read 2:30. Slowly, she looked back at you and sighed heavily.

“You’re lucky you only have a half hour left of your shift,” The librarian said, monotone. She waved her hand in the air, “Go…enjoy the beautiful day. I mean…enjoy your…” She looked over her glasses at Eddie, “Quarantine from your contagious illness.”

Dustin pumped his fist in the air and Eddie smiled, snagging your arm and taking you outside. “I can’t believe that worked.” He said, laughing as soon as he got outside.

“I can’t either…but you canNOT do that again, you guys! I could’ve gotten in trouble!”

“With that dinosaur? She’s so old she’s not going to remember this in like, five minutes.” Dustin said. He shoved his hands in his pockets, “So, Benny’s?”

“To Benny’s!” Eddie said, looping his arm in yours and leading you to his van. You giggled and followed suit, happy to be enjoying the day.

-*-

With your milkshakes to go, you and Eddie were the only two left after everyone had gone home. Currently, you were sitting in the back of his van, the doors open, watching the sun go down outside of the empty field next to Benny’s.

“Cookies and cream was the way to go.” Eddie said, slurping up some of his milkshake, speaking with his mouth open. You shook your head.

“You can’t go wrong with chocolate, Eddie. Any other flavor is just…not right.”

“Chocolate is so boring!”

“Chocolate is a classic!”

“I refuse to argue this bogus point,” Eddie said, putting his hand up in your face, “Quite frankly because there is no argument…I am right.”

You huffed, giggling and crossing your arms. You swung your legs and sipped your milkshake, falling in a comfortable silence with Eddie.

“So…who were you talking to?” Eddie asked randomly. Confused, you shot him a look.

“Huh?”

“When Dustin and I got to the library today, you were talking to…some guy. Who was it?” He nonchalantly sipped his milkshake, staring off at the sunset.

You furrowed your brow, “Oh…his name is Michael? He’s doing a project for school and needed help finding books. Apparently, he goes to our school but…I’ve never seen him,” You shrugged, following Eddie’s gaze.

He paused for a moment, “Oh. Michael Cardin? I think he’s in my study hall…” He nodded slowly, “Cool.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

You softly punched Eddie’s arm, “Why did you want to know?”

“I dunno,” Eddie said, lifting the straw out of the milkshake cup over and over again, “Just wanted to make sure he wasn’t like…bothering you…or something…” He grumbled.

You could feel your ears turning a bit pink – what was with Eddie wondering that? “Aw, Eddie…are you looking out for me?”

“I just know what people in this town can be like, especially with new kids, so I wanted to make sure he wasn’t giving you shit!” He smiled and chuckled, “Sue me!”

“That’s very nice,” You murmured, looking at him. He met your eyes and smiled, a drawn-out moment between the two of you. You got lost into his eyes before he cleared his throat uncomfortably, running a hand through his hair, “But I wouldn’t be able to sue you for like, anything. I’m the one who had to buy these milkshakes, if you’ve forgotten already.” You joked, trying to ease the tension.

“I told you, when I’m a rich and famous rockstar, I’ll buy you all the milkshakes you want.” He countered, nudging you with his elbow.

“Nah…when you’re a rich and famous rockstar, you’ll forget all about me. You’re gonna have like, 80 million chicks surrounding you, with bleach blonde hair and fancy makeup and tits out to here,” You held your hands far out on your chest, like you were holding beach balls. “That’s who you’re going to be buying milkshakes for.”

“First of all, those kinds of chicks probably don’t want milkshakes, they’ll probably want tequila,” He started, poking your shoulder, “And secondly…what makes you think that I’d ever forget you?”

You turned and looked at Eddie, his brown eyes seemingly boring into your skull. Your breath hitched in your throat as you searched his eyes, trying to find what he meant by that. He was leaning close to you, completely still. Uncomfortably, you shrugged.

“I don’t know…because I’m forgettable?” You mumbled.

“Okay, you must not be as smart as I thought you were because that is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“It’s true!” You said, throwing your hands up in the air, “I didn’t have a lot of friends back home! And let’s just say I didn’t have a line of boys waiting to take me on dates, either…” You sighed, “I mean, I don’t think I should be putting a brown paper bag over my head, but-”

“Yeah, well, you don’t need a line of boys waiting for you to take you on a date, just as long as you have the right one.” Eddie said, sucking out some more of his milkshake.

You eyed him and pressed your lips together, your heart starting to beat like crazy in your chest.

“Well…I don’t even have one yet, so…” You tried, quietly. Eddie snorted, putting his milkshake down.

“Well, that Michael guy seemed to have those goo-goo-ga-ga eyes after you guys talked today, so…” His voice tapered off.

You frowned, looking away in disappointment. You didn’t know why you thought maybe Eddie would give you an admittance of a crush, but hearing him try to go the Michael route was a bit crushing.

“Yeah…” You mumbled, sighing lightly and leaning against the edge of the van. You could hear kids playing off in the distance, the sun almost fully set now. Maybe you had read the situation with Eddie wrong? You thought he wouldn’t have been hanging out with you unless there was some sort of feelings there, but he was just given an easy in, and didn’t take it.

You felt lame.

“Are you getting cold? I can drive you home.” He offered, tossing his cup into a garbage can in the parking lot. It went in first try and he pretended to be a crowd roaring, throwing his hands up in the air. You felt sad, but also silly now that he was doing that.

He didn’t seem to even notice what was going on, and now he wanted to drive you home. Great.

You nodded, hopping out the back of the van. Making your way to the passenger seat, you finally spoke, “Yeah, I can go home.”

Eddie didn’t say anything, but got into the driver’s seat after closing the back doors to his van. He looked at you for a bit, and when you turned your head to meet his eyes, he immediately looked out the front window, starting the car.

He drove you home in silence.

---

As always, reblogs, likes, and comments mean the world to me!

Taglist: @cosmicdanielle @sapphire4082 @findmeincorneliastreet @hugdealer @chipster-21

#eddie munson imagine #eddie munson headcanon #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #stranger things #eddie munson fan fiction #eddie munson fanfic

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99liners · 11 months

Note

I missed you a lot here 💜 good to see you back!

I've been struggling with insomnia for a while now and I keep searching for soft ASMR or drabbles to fall asleep.

I have a soft taetaeme req (☠️) yeah I'll choose the most unusual genre of man to make you write fluffy drabble for me.

Kaiho!Jungkook (oops 🥹)

I want this inhuman to be like a human even if it's for a short span of time.

maybe could you write a fluffy drabble of him being all soft for her, back hugging her in the shower while she brushes her teeth half asleep with closed eyes but she woke up just to cook for him (even tho it's a sunday)

and he kisses her and maybe rewards her with sum intense oral uwu. You obviously do add and enhance according to your ideas.

Much love

Evie 🧚🏻‍♀️

opus kaiho, drabble number 3 / tatemae series 建前:

pairing: detective!jeon jeongguk x trophy!wife reader genre: fluff, smut, marriage!au, age-gap!au (7 years). words: 3.375. (cmon guys, it's been long established that i am incapable of understanding the meaning of the word 'drabble'.) warnings: i suck at fluff so brace yourselves for the second-hand embarrassment lmao, showering together, smexy times, eating out, fingering, pussy licking, orgasm (f), kaiho!jjk accidentally walks through a portal and becomes soft for a night ahaha, js. original one-shot: kaiho part of: tatemae; 建前 — a bts series a/n: i am sorry love that you are having sleeping issues. i have had insomnia since middle school now and at this point i have just given up on having a sleeping routine. i really hope you can return back to your rhythm very soon! i had to physically restrain myself from writing angst ahahah xD also, if it feels like jk is not that great at pleasuring his wife, it's intentional because although i wanted to make it super fluffy for you but kaiho!jk gotta stay true to his character to some degree uwu. hope you enjoy! <3

jeongguk unlocked the front door with the personal key attached to his car keys and his desk-locker key from work. his head coming in contact with the material of the door briefly while his hands manoeuvred the lock to finally open the door as he let out a soft sigh.

he hates summers, it is brutal. while the world is enjoying summer breaks, he is working double shifts due to the sheer number of officers submitting requests for vacations.

bam greeted his owner at the doorway, sniffing jeongguk's pant legs while his tail wagged. he can always smell the faint traces of the police labrador retriever dog from his owner's work clothes.

"there's my good boy," a smile appeared on jeongguk's otherwise tired face as he scratched bam's head affectionately.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

the detective made his way inside the house, with bam on his tail, taking off his jacket and discarding it on the kitchen countertop. he was expecting to see you in the kitchen, given you usually are arranging dinner at this time. finding the space empty, he meant to walk away to the bedroom but noticed two boxes of chocolate wrapped in a ribbon. they looked like they were about to melt so jeongguk stored them in the refrigerator before finally making his way to the bedroom.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

taking off his department badge, he kept it away on the nightstand but owing to his carelessness, the badge fell to the floor in the narrow space between the bed and the nightstand. he would have picked it up but his mind was preoccupied with the sound of the shower running. barely unbuttoning his shirt, jeongguk pushed open the bathroom door with a soft nudge of his feet.

there you were, taking a cold shower to fight the summer. you were facing the shower, just letting it wash away the heat while some pop song blasted through your mobile that you had propped somehow to prevent it from touching the water.

jeongguk walked in through the crack in the shower curtains with his work trousers still on, "hey baby," his hands slowly wrapped around your waist, closing in a wrap with one hand on top of the other right above your belly button.

you wringed the water from your hair, which trailed down jeongguk's chest, before turning to him, "hi," a lump in your throat from the inactivity. it has been way too hot these days and you refuse to go out anywhere, only ever stepping out if it is an utmost necessity.

(the game of 'do i absolutely need this?' 'is it absolutely necessary for survival?' playing way too often on your mind)

earlier in the afternoon you noticed that bam's dog food had finished so you made a trip to the local supermarket with bam. you love shopping with him, because although he is a ray of sunshine but a doberman still scares the shit out of people so the annoying salesmen stationed at almost every other aisle these days with their free samples never approach you; an all-in-all peaceful shopping trip.

while you were checking out the items, at the cashier counter there were boxes of chocolates stacked with the tag 'buy 1 get 1!'. you cannot recall seeing your husband eating sugary food as much, he mostly eats meals at home and you do not really keep track of what he eats while he is at work. you would not necessarily call him a dessert person. so the debate went on for a while before you finally got one box and checked it out too. you are not sure why you bought them but you just wanted to get your husband some chocolates? what is so wrong with it? why can't you just get your husband some chocolates? :/

"you are taking an early shower today," your husband mentioned from behind you, his chin coming to rest on your shoulder, letting the shower water run over him.

"gguk, it's 1am," you mumbled, your hands coming down to rest atop his. unspoken, your bodies started swaying slightly to the tune of the song blasting through your phone as a slow song came on the shuffle.

for a brief moment he stopped moving but then continued the motion, "right. i am sorry, it's been so tiring these days. i've lost track of time. did you have dinner?"

"no." you replied with bated breath, a part of you was waiting for him to initiate something. i mean given his past nature, isn't it a given that this is going to lead to sex?

but your husband lives to surprise you. his hands never unclasped from your waist, but instead stayed firmly in place.

"you don't need to wait for me if i'm late," his face nuzzled in the crook of your neck, inhaling the scent of your body wash.

"it's not fun eating alone," you finally released the tension, letting your figure slump back on his.

"mhm," humming, jeongguk closed his eyes.

"hey hey hey," your sprinkled some water on his face watching him scrunch his nose up which made you chuckle, "i know you are going to fall asleep. let's go eat."

"noooo," there was a whiny tone in his voice, as he only tightened his grip when you tried to break free.

"you need to eat, don't you have duty in the morning?"

"i am going to set fire to that precinct, every time i finish some paperwork, another pile of files just get dumped on my desk."

"wow, any other pyromaniac tendencies that i should know of?"

"please let's just stay like this, just for a while," jeongguk turned you around to face him this time, to stare into your eyes as intently as he had on your wedding day while reciting his vows.

"you'll catch a cold, sick gguk is a whiny little complaining brat," you chuckled, wrapping your arms around his neck, your bare chest coming in contact with his.

"i don't care," he kept swaying with you, his hold around you comforting as his arms enveloped you whole like a warm shawl.

"we shouldn't waste water," you suggested once more.

"i don't care," he reiterated again. there was not a single ounce of annoyance in his voice, he seemed at peace with his face nuzzling into your neck again.

a few moments passed before you reached your hand behind your back to turn the knob off, "i got you chocolates."

"huh? why?" again, he was not annoyed, just genuinely surprised.

"what do you mean why? i can't get my husband some chocolates?!" you pulled away from the embrace, your hands propped on his chest, the vein in your forehead pulsing; ready to throw hands.

"whoa whoa whoa, baby, calm down."

"no tell me why! why can't i just get you chocolates? what's so wrong in that?" you glared daggers at him.

"you..." jeongguk let a soft chuckle, "you are so tiny and cute."

"i got you chocolates and you are going to eat them."

"won't say i'm much fond of them but i guess it won't hurt to try."

"yes, you're going to eat them and smile and say 'thank you my dear wife, you're the best. what would i possibly do without you'"

"is that so?"

"yes and then-"

he cut you off this time, "and then i will return the favour and maybe eat you out for the dessert after dessert."

you hit his chest laughing before finally breaking free of the embrace this time, "wash up, i will get dinner ready."

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

"where are the chocolates?" you asked as you walked into the bedroom after warming up the dinner.

jeongguk was sprawled across the bed, his eyelids drooping down with sleep, the water from his semi-wet hair being soaked by the pillow cover, "i put them in the fridge," he yawned mid-sentence.

"well, the food's ready. let's go."

"you take out the chocolates and i will be there."

humming, you walked out to the kitchen and opened the fridge door but did not find the box anywhere. rummaging around the vegetables tray and behind the other tupperware boxes, you opened the freezer door just to be sure and lo and behold, he had put it in the freezer over the ice tray and now the packet was frozen and sticking to the ice tray.

"jeon jeongguk!" you speed-walked to the bedroom only to find him fast asleep, soft snores filling the silence in the room.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

next morning:

pressing on the volume up button, you quieted down the alarm blaring like a war horn on a beautiful sunday morning at 05:00. your husband gets early day offs on sundays but he has to clock into work early too.

putting on a headband to keep your hair away from the face, you walked to the washroom by muscle memory as your eyes were half-lidded from sleep. you reckoned if you had fallen asleep again, you might not be able to wake up on time so you pushed yourself off the bed. you squeezed the toothpaste tube on the bristles of your toothbrush, unsure if it indeed was the toothpaste or your facewash, you started brushing. your rhythm faltered every now and then as you kept falling asleep doing the mundane routine.

most mornings you wake up about half an hour before jeongguk has to leave for work. he is not a picky eater and eats whatever you put on a plate in front of him. actually, most mornings he is done making sandwiches by the time you wake up to make him something. you both then enjoy the sandwich he made as you see him off to work.

since he went to sleep last night on an empty stomach (and so did you, missy), you wanted to make him a heavy breakfast, something more than just two pieces of bread.

halfway through, you heard your alarm again and your eyes shot open. you must have snoozed your alarm instead of dismissing it and five minutes later it blared again. your brain must have lagged from the sleep because by the time you finally decided that 'oh hey i should turn off the alarm before jeongguk wakes up,' jeongguk already had woken up and appeared behind you.

"morning," he mumbled before walking inside to use the toilet.

you finally finished washing up and pat dry your face with the towel by the time your husband walked out, his eyes all scrunched up, his hand scratching an itch on his belly.

"why are you up so early?"

"to make breakfast for you," you said walking into the bedroom.

"i don't leave for like more than two hours, let's go back to sleep."

"i know," you hummed, fixing your hair.

before he could protest further and albeit successfully convince you to come back to bed, you walked to the kitchen and got the breakfast started.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

you served two bowls of naengmyeon and galbitang before returning to the cooking station to finish the last dish which you mean to pack for his lunch at work.

by the time you turned the stove off after giving it a last stir, the bibimbap was perfectly cooked. still standing there meaning to clean up, you felt jeongguk sneaking up behind you, hugging you close. this movement and position are slowly feeling so familiar to you; you can get used to this.

"who is going to eat all this?" he asked softly, placing soft kisses along the side of your neckline.

"you are," you asserted, wiping away the spills from the stovetop.

"but then what about my dessert?"

"the chocolates?"

"no, you."

your head had a whiplash with the way you turned to him.

"what? you thought i was rambling last night? i remember everything i say, baby."

"you have to go to work," shrugging, you casually mentioned the time restraint.

"it's worth to be late 'cause of that."

"get ready," elbowing him in the belly, you tried to pus him away but jeongguk was unrelenting today.

his lips were already on your soft spot, his tongue darting out to allow soft kittenish licks — you held your place but what definitely pushed you over the edge was his hand, wrapped around your lower stomach, slowly creeping down, his palm taking shape to sculpt your mound. the moment his hand came in touch with the sensitive bundle of nerves down there, your spine bent over — almost in routinely motion to such ministrations — giving way for your ass to attach snuggly and poke into his crotch area.

"your body is so soft and sensitive to my touch," your husband mentioned from behind you. he took a step back and helped guide you to the kitchen countertop on the other side of the cooking station, urging you — with soft touches and gestures of his hands to get on top of the counter. you did as he bid, getting on your knees on the counter, your ankles slightly falling off the edge but were firmly supported by jeongguk's hands which crept up the satin slip dress. it already barely covered your asscheeks, all he had to do was push it up by a few inches and he had a clear view of your panties.

"so delicious," he hummed, more to himself, as he lowered himself to come face to face with your heat. his hands which crept up to your hips moved towards the hem of your panties — hooking his fingers on either side, he slid the material down to your bent knees. a single string of arousal connected to the crotch of your panties stretched, extended to its limit and broke into thin air following that movement. jeongguk licked his lips, the corners of his mouth watering at the sight in front of him — he is hungry, both literally and figuratively.

he let his fingers massage your clitoral hood, the thin flap of skin moving in a rhythmic motion, sending incomplete jolts throughout your body. feeling the bit of arousal now on the pad of his fingers, jeongguk used his index fingers to hold the flaps open to expose the tiny nub of flesh full of nerve endings to the open air. it felt both cold and hot at the same time, making your toes twitch.

it felt like eternity but in reality it had been only mere seconds before jeongguk's tongue protruded out and flicked against your little nub, slowly at first before picking up a steady tempo — stimulating that tight bundle of nerves as they let out tension, becoming putty at your husband's expense. all this time, you held your lips tautly together, only letting escape soft hums of affirmation; 'nnngh' 'mmhm'. one of your palms was connected flat out to the marble top while the other was curled at the edge, holding on to the cold surface to maintain your balance.

jeongguk touched your vulva with the base of his tongue and slowly moved his head upwards from the bottom of your vagina to the top till the tip of his tongue passed over your clitoris. he repeated the motion a few times, breaking contact every time he reached the top and then starting over from the bottom till he started feeling the arousal now leak out on his tongue. to cover as much of your vagina, he kept his tongue relaxed, wide and flat, letting his head and neck muscles do the work while his tongue stayed unmoving. (the secret to that killer jawline.) he was able to maintain the pace for a few moments before speeding up his ministrations.

a soft 'ah' left your lips, finally verbalizing your moaning but much like female masturbation, speed only takes you over to the edge but does not bring about that much needed final release. looking forward, you glanced at the clock in the dining hall which read 06:59 and your husband has to leave by 07:30 for duty. letting your upper body lower down to the cold marble — your nipples becoming hard and sticking out in a painful stance — you let your dominant hand reach down to that little bundle of nerves and started massaging it, accompanying jeongguk's movements.

"yes, just like that," you almost regretted moaning that out because your husband quickened up his pace. you made a mental note to tell him later that just like that does not mean speed up, it always means keep that steady motion.

bursting away those thought bubbles, you let yourself drown in the overstimulation, feeling yourself reaching that edge.

"let it go baby, let me taste it all," he lapped his tongue at the arousal, making sinful noises echo throughout the walls. this time when he started over, you did not feel his tongue on your vagina next but his lips as he sucked up your clit — sucking and releasing.

"fuck," your toes curled up, eyes closed shut as your fingers picked up speed as well.

"mine mine mine, yes," he let a slap on your right asscheek.

just a bit more of his growing unsteady ministrations along with your fingers working that coiled nub and you came undone on his tongue, finally letting your upper body completely flat on the countertop, your lungs taking in the air.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

jeongguk took a quick shower and got dressed, trying to hurry up as he was going to be late.

"well what about the breakfast? i made all that for you!"

"pack it all, i will eat in the precinct."

"no you wont, i know your team will eat the most of it."

"i promise i will eat it."

"well you better, i am your wife and i made that food for you." you pointed your index finger and tapped at his chest.

"well of course you are my wife and yes that food is for me. now hurry up, baby," he gently spanked your left asscheek this time, making it even from earlier, after finishing buttoning up his shirt. you rolled your eyes walking out to the kitchen to pack the food.

jam-packing all of the food into bento boxes, you finished with keeping the box of chocolates on top of the insulated carry-on lunch bag.

jeongguk, now completely clad in his uniform, came out and took the bag from you in a hurry. well, it was 07:47 already so he was late, "bye," pecking your lips, he walked out.

after the door closed behind him, you took out last night's dinner and put it in the oven to warm it up since you still haven't eaten anything and just packed away all of the breakfast.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

it hadn't even been ten minutes when you heard your phone ringing.

"hey, what's up?"

"i left my badge at home."

"where is it?"

"i think i put it on the nightstand."

you were already in the bedroom looking for the badge by the time he mentioned it, "nope, it's not here."

"then i don't know woman, i need it."

"men," you rolled your eyes before cutting the call.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

after finishing your breakfast and retrieving the badge with the help of bam, you walked into your husband's precinct with the badge in your hand when you noticed the team gathered around jeongguk's table.

making your way over, the smell of food wafted your nostrils and you watched as the team relished the breakfast while your husband had maybe bit of it.

minjun turned after swallowing the last spoonful of the bibimbap, "oh mrs jeon, thank you so much for the breakfast. it's great!"

you gave him a close-lipped smile, blinking a few too many times before turning to your husband who took a visible gulp.

after the crowd in front of your dispersed you slammed the badge down on his table and meant to walk away, but jeongguk got a hold of your wrist.

"look i saved the chocolates for myself."

"ahha? you mean the one that i see in yoona's hand?"

jeongguk stared down at his desk in panic, his eyes searching for the box of chocolates that he had kept aside to eat later, "those sneaky bastards."

"i am never cooking for you again, jeon jeongguk."

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

feedback is deeply appreciated. ✨

masterlist | bts masterlist | rules | ask box

- jaimie

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junnieverse · 6 months

Text

LOVE IS EMBARRASSING ➳ K. SUNOO

➙ synopsis: you felt like a complete fool. you told everyone he was 'the one' but seeing sunoo with someone else hit you like a truck. it was humiliating having to deal with the fact that you so easily fell for him and yet he had his eyes set on someone else. you knew you had to let him go and yet you were still holding on onto false hope.

pairing: kim sunoo x fem!reader (but i'm sure it's gn imo as far as I am concerned)

genre: angst, unrequited love au

word count: 1.6k

warnings: not proofread, reader cries, reader self hating, just alot of hurt

a/n: here is the next update. I haven't been writing much due to my final exams but I hope you still like this though :)

— GUTS X ENHYPEN SERIES MASTERLIST !

"Are you still waiting on him to call you?" you hear your roommate ask as she catches you checking your phone every few minutes as you laid sprawled across your bed.

Not that you wanted to admit it but it was true.

It had been a week or so since Sunoo had last spoken to you and asked for you to give him some 'space'.

It was more than obvious this was just his way of trying to get you to back off but on the other hand you wanted to think of this in a more positive light and assume he was simply busy in his own personal life.

"No, not at all. Sunoo isn't ignoring me or anything. He just has an extremely busy and demanding life." you try to defend not only yourself but try to excuse Sunoo's poor behaviour.

For hours and days you waited for some sort of communication from Sunoo and got nothing, you really were a fool.

Kim Sunoo was a close friend of yours you had been introduced to at school when you both joined the drama club at your college and his bright smile and pretty eyes instantly won you over.

It didn't take long for you to realise that you were deeply infatuated by the guy and slowly but surely, you were also falling in love with him too.

"I think he's the one." you admit to your best friend sitting on the bleachers watching Sunoo play rugby with a group of his friends and you hear her burst out in laughter to your statement leaving you puzzled.

"What's so funny?" you ask her as she calms down from her laughing.

"You haven't even known Sunoo for that long and you are so sure that this is end game? He'll you haven't even went out on a single date with him." she tells you factually not believing what you had just said but you nod in response to her previous question admiring as he played down by the field.

"Yeah I do think it's end game. How long I've known him or the fact that we haven't gone on a date doesn't matter, what does is I can definitely see myself walking down the aisle with him having the picture perfect wedding." you say confidently taking a sip of your drink.

It may have sounded incredibly delusional but you could really see it, Sunoo was everything you wanted in a partner and you were smitten to the point of imagining the possibility of tying the knot with him.

As if having heard you talking about him, Sunoo lifts his head up meeting your gaze before flashing his bright smile and throwing a friendly wave at you as you shyly waved back.

He truly seemed perfect in your eyes at the beginning, but you also knew Sunoo was unattainable.

He had been in an on and off relationship with a past lover of his and even when they weren't together, you could tell Sunoo wasn't completely over his ex either.

Although you didn't want that to stop you from still pursuing him.

You thought building a friendship with Sunoo first was a step in the right direction to getting to know him and before you knew it, you were a close friend in his group of friends, a confidant to him.

He could always turn to you even with his own relationship problems because it was just a friendship basis between the two of you… right?

Because of this, you somehow put your feelings on the back burner always being at Sunoo's beck and call for the days he wanted to celebrate with a few drinks because he got back together with his ex girlfriend, to the rainy nights he cried into your shoulder because they had yet again broken up and she had a new boyfriend.

You thought that just maybe through everything you had been through always being by his side, that just maybe Sunoo would finally notice you as more than just a friend he can go to after a rough patch with his ex.

You had finally mustered up the courage to confess to him at a party his friend was hosting but soon backed out last minute out of fear of rejection although later that very same night after a few drinks, you ended up telling Sunoo you liked him to which he simply thought you were too drunk and talking nonsense.

It had been a few days since that happened and you were too embarrassed to face Sunoo but you knew you would have to clear the air and reconfirm your feelings in a sober state and talking to Sunoo was your biggest priority at that moment.

Making your way to the music room where you had been informed he was, you take a deep breath stepping closer to the door as you heard the faint sound of Sunoo's voice and another girl laughing.

Peeping through the slightly open door you notice Sunoo sitting by the piano with his now ex girlfriend as they played the instrument together.

Watching the two, your eyes start filling up with tears and suddenly his ex now has her hand on his face pulling Sunoo closer as they shared an intimate kiss.

You felt your legs weaken as a soft gasp escaped your lips witnessing the scene in front of you but also capturing the attention of the two. Before they could notice you, with the little strength you had left, you ran to the nearest bathroom, locking yourself in the stall as you were crying as your chest ached.

You felt incredibly embarrassed as of right now, but more than ever, you felt hurt.

This was all so stupid, YOU felt stupid too!

For months you tried to express yourself and your feelings so vulnerably but it felt like you were talking to a wall.

Maybe you just weren't good enough for him… that no matter how much you sacrificed of yourself you still wouldn't be pretty, smart or good enough for Sunoo.

You were losing so much of yourself for him but no matter how much you gave up… you would only end up coming back to him.

Yes, Sunoo knew about your feelings for him but despite having confessed (drunkenly), it felt like he was slowly starting to push you away.

You felt like a fool for trying so hard to win someone over knowing very well his heart belonged to someone else but you still held onto this little grain of hope that maybe he could come around and realise he had to move on (and preferably to you).

You had tried to move on yourself as well, anything to distract you from Sunoo.

From join other clubs to even getting a 'second-string' weirdo to try forget about the unrequited love but to no avail. Even blatantly avoiding him worked against your favour when he came looking for you.

"Hey, (Y/n)! I haven't seen you in awhile, I almost thought you were avoiding me." Sunoo stops you in the hallway as he jokingly adds on that last part expecting you to laugh along to which you hadn't.

"I've just been busy I guess… see you another time." you respond blandly not even looking up at him.

Before you could turn around and take your leave Sunoo gently grabbed on your wrist stopping you from leaving as he quickly detected something was wrong.

"Are you okay? You've never-" he asks before you cut him off reassuring him you were perfectly fine as you managed to get your hand out of his grip.

"Are you sure? I can-" he double checks trying to look into your eyes as you still avoided eye contact.

"Sunoo please… please just stop okay. Everything between us is so confusing and I'm the one left hurting. One minute you act all sweet and caring around me then the next you need 'space' away from me and don't talk to me for weeks. I feel like a measly second option to you and it's so embarrassing. You know how i feel about you and you still haven't expressed how you feel, you just go back to talking to me like nothing happened at all when there's been this big elephant in the room. I don't want to just keep being the person you go to when you cry over your ex, I wanted to be yours but clearly we aren't on the same page with that." you let out holding back your tears.

All of this had been weighing heavily on your chest and finally being able to tell him felt like you no longer carried any burdens.

Sunoo on the other hand stood quietly in front of you looking down seemingly taking in what you had said.

Everything was starting to hit him and the guilt was seeping in too.

All this time he knew how you felt about him but he only put up a wall and avoided confronting the situation because he knew he still was too invested in his relationship with his ex.

"I-" Sunoo croaks out but was stopped by your words.

"Maybe this time I need some space from you." you say coldly as you looked him straight in the eye before turning around and leaving to go to your next class.

Breaking the strong facade after being out of his sight, you wipe the tear running down your cheek before shortly looking back then continuing on your way.

Love was a lot of things.

It could be a crazy adventure, a sweet dream, a heartbreaking experience and an intense whirlwind for some.

But love sure was just downright embarrassing for you.

SERIES TAGLIST: @enhastolemyheart @jungwonscafe @firstclassjaylee @bahiyyihina

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minjoonalist · 2 years

Text

Alexithymia. | JJK +18 [2 of 3]

Pairing: Demon!Jungkook x Reader

Rating: Mature +18

Genre: Angst, Smut, SoulmatesAU

Word count: 15.8k

Description: Jungkook always had a pull to you. An unexplainable connection that brings him to your side daily, like a permanent routine. Is it a hobby? An obsession? Or was the centuries old prince just bored? No… boredom doesn’t make his heart race. It’s not supposed to make him lose his own self control, or fill him with blinding rage, and it certainly isn’t supposed to have him hallucinating the strangest things until it drives him back home for answers. Maybe he just cares too much for you and he thought that it’d be better to wait than to give in, but the longer the prince of darkness spends his time away, the more he realizes he has absolutely no Idea what emotions have been festering since the very beginning. What if he could just turn them off?

Warnings: Cursing, explicit language, mentions of blood, black blood, mentions of killing, priceless object is broken, sadistic friends, slight back stabbing (metaphorical) but its out of good?? intent, lots of sexual tension, mentions of suicide, heavy make out, eventual smut.

Song Inspo: Pretty- The Weeknd, Waves- Normani, Softcore- The Neighbourhood, Middle Of The Night- Elley Duhe

Author’s note: This is a mini series of three parts due to the high word count lol Also In no way am I an expert on demons, all of this is from the top of my head or made up honestly. It’s more of an angsty self-indulgent plot to write demon JK for (several months) so please enjoy and if you want leave your thoughts on it as well! :)

Masterlist | 1 2 3

II. Emotional Deficit

“Welcome back.”

He hates that he’s hearing those words. It’s irritating at most but still, Jungkook couldn’t be happier when they’re coming from the two people he needed to see at this moment.

Sitting within their private room for the first time in years, he finds himself residing in the dual leather seats of their luxurious common space. The area itself was darker than he remembered of the two, the atmosphere closing in the second you found yourself there but somehow still inviting enough that you didn’t want to leave. They clearly changed a lot over the time he hadn’t been around.

It's funny how much effort went into making it this way when the owners hate to have company. Jungkook thinks to himself as he shifts to get him comfortable within his tense position. Honestly, his back was still killing him and he felt as if he was running out of breath more often.

He’s really a dumbass for fighting Yoongi.

Jungkook suddenly clears his throat as he thinks about that-staring at the hard wood floors where his boots lay before he glances at the blood red hair falling messily around one of the judging couple’s heads.

“Hi Jimin and…-Hobi Hyung.” Jungkook’s awkwardness shows through his uncomfortable stature, temporarily looking elsewhere to hide his slight embarrassment.

His body is stiff and frozen like ice while two pairs of naturally alluring eyes stare him down within the secluded room. It made him feel even more on edge than before, itching to go back to your apartment where he hopes you’re sleeping safely.

Right, Jungkook felt even more embarrassed, thinking about you…

He couldn’t believe how much of a coward he was when he left you standing there before, but sadly the reason he was here couldn’t be ignored if he’s going to be able to stand in the same room as you again.

Unsurprisingly, the man had given up, showing up to those that could possibly understand the foreign emotions that were tearing him apart. Not only that but he refused to give Yoongi any satisfaction in knowing he was somewhat right, probably predicting that the youngest would make his way back home at some point.

Jungkook clearly didn’t notice it for himself, but then again he didn’t notice a lot of his behavior that was gradually building up over the years.

Hoseok, after giving Jungkook a once over, arches a thick brow and runs a slender hand through his tapered jet black hair before he adjusts his black shirt. His legs then cross within his slacks putting on a professional position as he leans back within a leather chair in his common room. It was strange how serious he looked, completely opposite of his joyous nature, so Jungkook knew a topic like this had to be as important to his brother as it was to himself.

He wasn’t sure what exactly he was in for, but if it meant getting back to you faster he’s willing to put up with it. Not only that, but putting an end to this torture that was plaguing his body and mind at the moment.

He can still feel what he was feeling before…it hasn’t gone away.

Jungkook then swallows, feeling on edge as he watches Jimin come within his casual attire to sit comfortably on the King’s lap, looking and acting as any normal couple would.

Like how he wishes you could. He’s envious.

“I was told by Yoongi you left home to go see your girlfriend. Change of plans?” Hoseok begins after receiving a sweet peck from his lover. This causes Jungkook to frown not just in jealousy but from the title he’d given you so carelessly.

Hoseok must have picked up on one of Yoongi's bad habits because Jungkook then rolls his eyes and curses the man mentally for spreading that private information. “I only wanted to check on her and she’s not my girlfriend.”

“Yoongi said you’d say that.” Jimin suddenly chimes in, laughing softly and causing Hoseok to let out an easy chuckle. “—He also told us you were in deep denial. The both of you apparently are…”

Hoseok then shrugs with a smug smile. “They’re the perfect example of an alexithymic bond, according to him.”

“Kind of reminds you of a certain someone, huh?” Jimin cackles under his breath and Hoseok immediately tenses back up, a look of slight embarrassment behind his eyes as he chooses to focus back on the youngest.

Meanwhile, Jungkook stares irritably like a child, realizing, first he would need to talk with Yoongi again and set a few things straight about sharing his personal life and second, that watching two of his other friends find humor in his situation definitely wasn’t helping in the slightest.

“Are you done?” He scowls and huffs when Jimin motions him to speak. “Look, I didn’t believe Hyung when we talked earlier. I couldn’t think about anything else when I planned to stay with her. I thought at the time I could control myself, my emotions, but I think they may be too out of reach. He told me I could come to you and that you knew how to fix this.” Jungkook finishes with a lingering sincerity in his words that causes a sorrowful atmosphere in the room.

Hoseok definitely understands this pain.

The man nods in thought. “True, if anyone knows how far it can affect you, he was right when he suggested you come to me…multiple times.” Hoseok emphasizes the last part and watches Jungkook’s eyes shift elsewhere, feigning innocence. “Though, I will say that doesn’t necessarily mean we’ll tell you what you want to hear. What you feel might help, might not be what you think it is.”

Jungkook couldn’t care less, he just needed this to stop. It's truly terrifying how secure he felt of himself before he saw you today and now he could say the exact opposite. “That's fine, Yoongi already told me about the bond and that it's screwing with me mentally. So I was curious, can it mess with what I’m feeling as well?” .

Jungkook figured he’d run the risk of another hallucination with you, but not the aggressive emotions that came to him after being near instead. He would have never guessed that the rarest of these situations would end up as you somewhat bonded to him.

“...Well, yes.” Hoseok stares at Jungkook to study him. “We’re not truly meant to have emotions, but once you complete the bond they should settle down.” He concludes as if it were that simple for Jungkook, truthfully it isn’t. If it were, he wouldn’t be here talking to them, he’d have you wrapped in his arms hoping you’d reciprocate what he’s feeling.

Hoseok knows that.

“It's beyond that, Hyung. When I got near her..I felt something strange.” He inhales deeply, thinking back to the moment he’d seen you in front of your bedroom door. Whatever that weird feeling he had, it wasn’t nice and that only reminded him that there’s nothing about him that is. The horrifying image that began to form in his mind and started off so loving, could that be the trigger Yoongi had mentioned earlier? Was Jungkook truly becoming part of his worst self?

Hoseok’s brows raise in curiosity, clearly probing to see where Jungkook was going with this. “Well of course, it's only natural to feel eager. Part of completing the bond will require you both to feel that urge.”

Jungkook frowns, until Hoseok’s words truly hit him and he then waves his inky hand out. “Hyung no…not like that. This wasn’t sexual-or it was?… I don’t know, it felt like I really wanted to hurt her.” Jungkook's eyes seemed to look a little lost as he tried to place it all together. “And it wasn’t out of anger or fear. For a second, it was like a sick combination of wanting to kiss her and then ripping her apart at the same time. I guess that’s what Yoongi was trying to warn me about.”

“I-… don’t think you’ve ever felt that with me.” Jimin says looking down towards his pondering lover.

“It was more confusion and misdirected anger for myself…so not exactly.” Hoseok mumbles with a frown, but they don’t seem as alarmed as Jungkook thought they would be.

Hoseok then taps his fingers against the arm of the chair, having both Jungkook and Jimin look at him in anticipation. “She is human, right Jungkook? You had to have wanted this more than just one time. After all…we do feed on their souls every now and then. It sounds like you wanted to devour her.”

Jungkook is aware, but that didn’t stop him from hanging his head in acknowledgment. “I know, but I can usually ignore that with her and it's not like I have it often. Now it's just clawing at my insides, I-I don't know what else to do.” Jungkook looks up from his feet and meets them with sorrowful eyes. “I’ll die before I do that to her.”

Jimin’s eyes drop from his last statement but he quickly recovers with a sweet smile. “Although I've never seen us harbor so much for one human, it's cute to see how much you care for her.” He says while clearly having an internal battle, which makes Jungkook cringe in embarrassment.

“I don’t think, wanting to eat her soul could be categorized as cute, right now.” He replies to Jimin. “Actually, nothing about our connection has been right. My hallucinations have only proven that.”

Hallucinations? Hoseok’s ears perk up.

“Jungkook–” Hoseok suddenly calls him in a serious manner. “I want to say that I understand where you’re coming from in this, but truthfully, I’m not happy to admit that there's ever been a point in time that I didn't see humans as a way to sustain life. However, I do understand the emotions inside of you right now and can definitely recommend that you’ve reached a breaking point within your connection to her.”

“So what does that mean? You’re saying it's too late? Can't anything be done?” Jungkook tries openly, but the way his stomach turns after hearing that is really solidifying his dilemma.

“I know you’re aware of what happened to Jimin and I when we were suddenly bonded to each other and we were always working together side by side. I won’t go into too much detail. However, you should know that Hallucinations were one of the last things I had begun to experience and each one had become more vivid and haunting than the last. Sometimes I’d even blacked out for hours until Jimin found me in one and...” Hoseok stops, swallowing before he glances towards the small scar above Jimin’s eyelid. Anyone could see the immediate regret on Hoseok’s face, including the lover in question himself.

Jimin sends him a sad smile, but Jungkook could tell it was meant to reassure Hoseok, not pity him.

Jimin then screws his lips up together, taking over for Hoseok’s silence. “I think what he’s saying is. It's not common for anyone within our bloodline to grow an intimate attachment to anyone outside of here. Especially not to a human. So we can’t guarantee anything.” He says before looking at Hoseok apprehensively “However, there are other options and one you should consider before you actually end up hurting her- whether you meant to or not. You’ve already moved into a hostile state and by the looks of it, you’re lucky enough to have pulled yourself out. You can’t go back to her without our help.”

Jungkook straightens up at the mention of another option, but his chest stings at the thought of never seeing you again. “So there is something you can do? ” He asks, his eyes lighting up like a child’s on christmas morning. Both Hoseok and Jimin go warm at the younger’s expression, but it didn’t stop the massive amount of guilt for how they were about to crush it.

They already know it isn’t going to be that easy.

“Yes…two actually.” Hoseok clears his throat with uncertainty and Jimin squeezes his lover’s hand with comfort. It was as if he knew exactly what the elder was thinking.

Actually Jimin does know what Hoseok could be thinking… “It’s okay Hobi.”

“So- what is it?” Jungkook then falters, a deep dread filling his heart when he sees their body language shift.

How could it possibly be worse than what they’ve already told him?

Hoseok sighs. “It’s possible that in your case, your body is somehow mixing both forms of your infatuation with her. Drawn in by her soul and the connection that the bond has created for both of you. Judging from what Yoongi told me, your emotions are everywhere obviously, so even you can’t tell when you’re not thinking straight- which unfortunately has left you at a very unstable stage that you can’t fix unless you complete the bond… or break it.”

Jungkook doesn’t say anything when Hoseok stops to let it sink in. He only stares before he says something that just might set Jungkook off. “How do you break it? Glad you asked. Well the only way possible to break your bond would be if one of you dies and clearly you killing her won’t be an option, so we could just throw that one out the window. Since you’ve willingly expressed killing yourself before it comes to that.”

Jungkook blinks to control his sudden rage at the suggestion, he couldn’t even let the idea cross his mind for that to happen. But how could an option like this help him in any kind of way?

“Hyung, what exactly is the point of telling me that?” He grits his teeth.

Hoseok shrugs, clearly showing how much he couldn’t care if that offended Jungkook or not. “It’s better you know everything than me skipping on the details. The more you know, the easier it is to explain how serious this situation is not only for you but the girl as well. I don’t need anyone coming to me later on, because I half-assed on the information of how our bonds work. Now as I was saying, the real option here will actually be a lot harder than contemplating the other. It's the route I took and…it had a price to pay.”

“One hell of a price.” Jimin suddenly grumbles bitterly, grabbing both of their attention and Jungkook’s curiosity.

“Don’t exaggerate, it wasn’t that awful.” Hoseok warns sternly.

Jimin huffs in annoyance. “Easy for you to say, you’re not the one who had to deal with you while you were in that state. I held a lot of patience with you Jung Hoseok…and a lot of energy.”

“...What is he talking about?” Jungkook’s eyes widened from Jimin’s sudden confession.

Hoseok’s mouth opens but it's cut short and Jungkook really wishes the guy would just get the hell on with it. Seeing his impatience, Hoseok then sits forward with a look that's sending chills over Jungkook’s body.

“We think it would be best to shut off your emotions.” He finally says and waits patiently for Jungkook’s reaction. Which after a much awaited silence, Isn’t the one he was expecting.

“What—?” The couple watches shocked as the tension leaves his face. They take a glance at each other. “You start off with death and end with that?” Jungkook suddenly chuckles while sitting back within the chair as relief floods him. He exhales and might as well have laughed in their faces, which technically he is. It definitely explains the reason their gazes have turned into daggers towards him.

“You could have at least pretended to take that seriously.” Hoseok says while rolling his eyes at Jungkook.

Abruptly, Jimin’s sassiness had surfaced again while seeing the amusement with the younger’s eyes. “What exactly is so funny about this?” He asks completely straight faced, quite frankly a little disappointed in how light Jungkook was taking this. Yoongi was right when he said that Jungkook hasn’t been himself. At a time like this, they’d taught him better to understand these situations.

The raven haired man in question pauses “What? Turning off my emotions? I’m not a doll, I don't have an on and off button for what I feel. I thought I was going to have to do some fucked up blood ritual or something.”

“No, but you almost splattered your girlfriend’s blood over her apartment walls. Therefore, I don’t think you have the luxury to laugh this off.” Jimin seethes within Hoseoks lap. “Maybe that could be the ritual you’re looking for.” Jimin then clips at Jungkook and he flinches from the harsh words.

Hoseok himself then moves his hand from Jimin’s hip and rubs soothingly towards the bottom of his back, comforting him the same way the other had done for him earlier. He then takes his chance to control the narrative once again. “What Jimin is trying to say, Kook, is that as I mentioned before- with us, there is no need for our emotions. We live, breathe and exist solely to keep order which honestly should be the only objective within our life span. Like we said, mating to humans or anyone else outside of us is uncommon and that's due to the high unlikelihood of a connection in the first place, plus the past members before us who have refused to complete their bond with them. So to say, Almost, if not all of them had broken those bonds as rare as it is. To go through with it, they learned to numb themselves from the emotional toll it takes.” He explained, and the longer he went, the slower he said them to the kid.

Jungkook could feel this conversation making more sense, however he doesn’t like where his mind is getting to in the conclusion. He swallows knowing he should wait for Hoseok to explain, but he couldn’t help himself. “Are you telling me…they took away their emotions and killed their other half?”

Hoseok sighs. “Unfortunately, yes.”

“Thats fucking stupid.” Jungkook exclaims.

“Hey, It’s not stupid when you’re putting both of your lives in danger. Then again you don’t seem to give a shit about yours in the first place. So it’s not surprising that you can’t see the reasons behind it. ” Jimin speaks cautiously, but even then those weren’t a good choice of words.

Hoseok tries to diffuse the conversation, but it's too late.“Jimin don’t–”

“So they decided their lives were worth more than the other? Her life is just as important as mine and despite what you think, I do care. Just not for a lifetime without her.” Jungkook’s nostrils flare as his chest rises harder and Both of the demons across from him are suddenly on high alert as they gauge his unstable temper.

The last thing Hoseok wanted was for this situation to end up just like Jungkook’s earlier encounter with Yoongi. It can be tricky trying to talk someone down who's only being driven by the slightest change of what they’re feeling.

Hoseok then shoots a quick glare at the red head. Do not set him off…

He then clears his throat to gain their attention. “Calm down and stop pissing each other off. I swear sometimes I think you guys overestimate how my patience works.”

Jungkook can hear Hoseok say this through his deafening anger, nothing but the sound of his heart beating rapidly in his chest as he takes deeper breaths to do what his friend asks.

“However, Jungkook, know we are completely aware of the fact that you don’t want her to die and there is a way around that outcome. You can still choose the option of numbing yourself without killing her. In fact it’s to make sure that you’re stable enough to prevent your emotions from continuing their war with your mind. Otherwise we would have just told you to do it in the first place.”

“Might as well have. The first thing you told me was that I had the option of killing her or myself. instead of just saying ‘hey, maybe if you shut off your emotions you can actually save yourselves’. ” He scoffs at them both and Jungkook could still feel the glare radiating from Jimin. “Could you imagine if I’d gone with the first option and decided to kill her anyway? Would you have stopped me?”

Hoseok and Jimin stare silently at Jungkook, stunned into silence from his odd behavior. Hoseok doesn’t think he’s ever seen Jungkook this riled up, but it is a great question if he was being honest with himself.

Would he have cared enough to stop Jungkook?

“…I wouldn’t.”

That answer suddenly shakes Jungkook to his very core, a prickling of goosebumps falling over his skin.

“You are what's important and interesting about her life. Lets not pretend otherwise.” He then hears.

Someone who wasn’t in this room before had spoken up from behind Jungkook and Just like him, both Jimin and Hoseok's eyes widen as they stare right behind him. He couldn’t tell at first but the moment that overwhelming power had hit him and the couple- he knew very well who was there to greet him.

He swore he was having the worst luck ever...

“Jin, always making an unforgettable entrance. I thought we asked that you at least give us a warning before coming here.” Hoseok sighs but it was clear he was too drained to be irritated with the elder’s intrusion.

“Though that doesn’t change the fact that you are here...what do you want?” Jimin asks clearly, holding enough emotion for both.

“I was told our famous troublemaker made his way back, I thought I’d drop in to give him a welcome. Since apparently no one else is capable of communication.” Seokjin announces clapping a hand on the man's shoulder with a sly smile stretching across his face.

The younger frowns skeptically. It was odd, Jungkook wasn’t used to seeing him within his ‘Human’ form. So it surprised him when the platinum blonde look of his friend is who he’s met with on his side grinning like an idiot. Not only that but he had on the kind of all black suit only a CEO of his own company would wear. Meaning the man clearly had more important matters to attend yet he’s popping in at a time like this.

Jungkook doesn’t trust it.

“He hasn’t been here for more than an hour. How could you possibly know?” Jimin frowns with astonishment while also looking over to Jungkook.

“He shouldn’t be able to…” Hoseok adds on.

“Why...Yoongi told me, of course. I always know what's going on with all of you, even down to that poor girl, Jungkook likes so much.” Jin beams with a handsome smile towards the three. It was one that made Jungkook uneasy, especially not after hearing what Jin had to say about you.

Honestly, He loved the man, but his eldest friend definitely never knew when to shut the hell up about something he didn’t know and everyone knew it was only his status and ego to blame. Sometimes he wondered how Seokjin came to be at that level of power in the first place.

Jungkook however couldn’t help when his fists balled up in his lap, staring head on at his friends. He then shoots his eyes sharply towards the king beside him. “You know nothing about her.”

Jin grins while tilting his head in a taunting manner. “Now what makes you think that?” He asks, with an unwavering gaze. “Don’t make the mistake of thinking I wouldn’t be interested in the reasons you’ve been away from home. That includes whoever is holding your attention at the moment.” The implication sends a chill down Jungkook’s spine when he sees the mischief behind his friend’s black eyes.

He knew Seokjin’s sudden appearance wouldn’t be good.

“Have you been watching her? You wouldn’t…” Jungkook asks, fear laced within his voice. He may not like what he has to say, but if that's true and Seokjin really has taken time out of his day to go see you then there's no doubt there's some truth to his words.

“No…I’ve been watching you and her.” Seokjin answers, but then a thoughtful look makes its way to the elder. “I also remember having a fairly entertaining conversation with Y/n not too long ago. She really misses you Jungkook and I have to say I’m a little disappointed in the way you’ve left her by herself. You never know who may try to get to her…”

Jungkook shakes his head in disbelief, hoping none of this is true. “You spoke with her?”

“Yes, many times actually. We’re pretty close I’d say.” Jin grins down at him with pride in his chest.

Jungkook’s eye twitches and it feels as if his world is beginning to crumble beneath him. “You’re lying, if you did I’d know.”

“Well of course you wouldn’t and neither would she. Every conversation I’ve ever had with her is buried deep in the back of that simple mind, she wouldn’t know who I am unless she sees my face. I got so bored of you not noticing that I left you a hint, remember?” Jin goes to sit on the spare couch beside all of them, shrugging as he puts his feet up on the expensive looking decor of Jimin and Hoseok coffee table.

Jimin huffs in annoyance, but Jungkook knows the man can only bite his tongue.

“You didn’t think we weren’t going to keep tabs on you while you were away did you? Why else do you think Yoongi agreed to help you so easily?” He laughs as if this was such a light hearted matter.

A hint…? Jungkook tries hard to rack his brain for whatever Jin could have left behind but nothing comes to him. When he saw you earlier nothing seemed to be off about you, in-fact you looked perfectly fine aside from the broken gaze that you unknowingly gave him when you realized you wouldn’t see him once again. That was to be expected, he’d tainted that hope in a matter of seconds, but it was only because he knew he couldn’t stay there with you. Not with everything that had happened before, his fight with Yoongi, his anger, and Hallucinations…

That image of him pulling you into his arms and holding you close for dear life. You looked shocked at first but eventually your beautiful smile rose on your face as your heart fluttered from your excitement. Jungkook focused so much on that small detail- mouth salivating the second he senses the purity lying with you. It was such a wholesome feeling- you and him. How happy the both of you were, but the thought of ripping that purity from you certainly wasn’t.

Jungkook’s blood suddenly runs cold when he remembers vividly what was so out of place. The reason he nearly went insane while thinking of you and another-what was setting him off in the beginning.

“You marked her with your scent…just so you could piss me off?” Jungkook’s anger was piling on dangerously from the new information, a slight pain in his stomach from realizing how Yoongi may have been lying to him this entire time.

Did he smell Jin too? That could explain why he was trying so hard to get him to leave.

Seokjin shrugs. “Did I? Oops…”

Jimin’s face turns down and he looks over toward Jungkook with sympathy. “Jin, you’ve overdone it.”

Jungkook knew something was off…He wasn’t going insane after all. “Are you fucking kidding me? Couldn’t you have respected my privacy? I’m not some goddamn child and it’s getting pretty old how often everyone is treating me like one. Nothing about this is okay.” He sneers, now wondering if Jin is the reason he couldn’t get to you this whole time.

Hoseok shifts uncomfortably from the elder’s demeanor, after listening for a while. “While I personally don’t agree with Jin’s actions. You aren’t doing that great of a Job at proving us otherwise, Jungkook. Despite what you think, we do care if something happens to you.”

“This is your way of showing you care?” Jungkook replies immediately, but then something hits him. “-wait what do you mean we? Did all of you know about this?” He then asks and knowing the answer it was only going to make things worse.

The couple once again shares a look and this time they look to Seokjin as well, clearly having an inside secret that Jungkook didn’t know about. He waits for one of them to say something, but all he’s met with is a deep uncomfortable silence that only had him seeing pitch black once again.

“You’ve got to be shitting me?” He almost growls when the heat in his voice takes over. Before he knew it, the demon was triggering a lethal state within the room, it was like finally watching a child throw a tantrum. Once again, that itch inside him was burning and he just really wanted to hurt something.

From where he’s sitting, Jungkook can see how Hoseok’s eyes had shifted as well- all whites going completely pitch black as the dark veins around his face came in under his control. It's just a safety caution, one that usually any of them always had to activate between the seven of their personalities over time.

It's also what Yoongi used to protect himself earlier, Hoseok’s essence slowly seeping out to match Jungkook’s rising mana.

“Jungkook calm down, If it pisses you off that much- there's a lot of talk of seeing you around with a human girl regardless. There's no avoiding it. Think about it, you have plenty of enemies, we all do. Did it ever occur to you how she hasn’t become a target from your recklessness? did you really think you were protecting her enough.” Jin raises a brow himself, watching just as on edge as Hoseok was.

Jungkook knew it had to be because of how out of character it is for him, but those words only egged him on. Everything was spiking and he couldn’t stop it, passing over Hoseok and Jimin to glare daggers towards the eldest king.

“Don’t tell me about putting her at risk…You went behind my back to go see her. How about if I go around poking in your affairs?” He huffs aggressively.

“—Then you’d be an idiot, asking for death.” Seokjin simply answers. “We only discuss the important matters of your relationship and yes unfortunately that includes watching your screwed behavior. We had to be sure.”

“And Y/n? What did you talk about with her?” Jungkook suddenly rises from his seat and towers towards Jin.

“Nothing you need to worry about. I simply wanted to meet her myself. I wasn’t there longer than 5 minutes, you can ask Yoongi if you need that assurance.” The man stares up at him with a blank expression, but never loses interest in Jungkook’s foreseeable burst of anger. It only pissed him off more to see how unbothered he was.

Did his eldest friend really not care for his feelings towards this? Or was he just saying all this because he knew it would piss Jungkook off? Little did he know, there was always a method to the eldest actions.

Just what exactly is he playing at?

Jungkook shakes his head, looking around the room. “If it was so important to lie to me, you could have done something. Or does everyone want to sit around and laugh? Does that make you feel better? Me admitting it out loud for your amusement. I had my head so far up my ass, I couldn’t tell my own friends were lying to my face. Well, as I already told Yoongi, you all can fuck off.”

He didn't get it, He knew what Jin said was right. Jungkook was careless, too busy thinking about when was the next time he would see you- when he wasn’t even sure there would ever be a next time. It was too much at once, realizing how much he endangered you, but also how much Seokjin would actually be right.

How everyone was right and he was too blinded to see what's been festering for years. How long has Jungkook been in the dark about himself? When did he start sweeping it all under the rug?

It made the blood in his veins boil from his stupidity. He felt like breathing fire just for that epiphany and so when he felt it overflowing- The bond, his emotions, his selfishness and how much he missed you, he’d abruptly lifted a fist and landed a perfect blow onto the mini table between everyone. A booming crack erupts within the space, causing the duo to be unsettled. The force violently shatters the entire object into pieces, knocking Seokjin’s feet to the floor and before he could realize it, Jungkook’s temper had taken a hold of him. It catches everyone including himself by surprise, sparking another very long silence between the group.

After a while, Jimin was the first to speak, his fiery eyes glaring at the shattered table in front of him. He then shifts in Hoseok’s lap- taking a deep breath to calm his own temper. “Okay make this a note, no more meetings in our nest.” He says as he pinches the bridge between his nose and ultimately ignoring Jungkook for his benefit. “Actually no more company within our space, this is worse than when Namjoon knocked over that emerald vase.”

Hoseok, on the other hand, looks calm and collected. He stares at Jungkook but instead of rage he only holds sympathy and Hoseok must have known he caught that, doing well to cover his own anger again. “...Don’t get me wrong, if it weren’t for the fact that you have absolutely no control over your emotions- I’d pick each of your bones by one and use them as a replacement table. That was an eight century old piece Namjoon gifted us—”

“—After he broke our vase.” Jimin deadpans bitterly.

Hoseok then frowns disapprovingly. “But do you now see why you’ll need to numb your emotions? What if that was your girlfriend instead? You wouldn’t need to worry about the bond or anyone coming after her for that matter, because she would have already died from you.”

“How many times to I have to say shes not my girlfriend.” Jungkook sighs in defeat. The both of you aren’t together and again he didn’t need to be constantly reminded of himself on the matter.

Jin, who Jungkook had honestly forgotten to be sitting there, scoffs at the notion “Huh, Yoongi said you’d say that.” He laughs clearly amused and completely unfazed by the kid, but somehow still adding fuel to the dampened fire.

Hoseok then switches his attention to the fellow king “Jin, man, please stop talking. You are the reason he just lost his temper and I don't think Jimin can handle losing another piece of our decor. You did invade his space after all.” He pleads while still consoling a much gloomier lover and Jungkook swallows thickly.

Seokjin huffs, his humor filled smile slowly dropping off when he sees the heavy emotions behind his friend’s face. Suddenly, he then claps his hands together- making a thunderous noise that has Jungkook jerking just a little.

“Fine, I guess the kid is beginning to learn his lesson.” He starts, demeanor going deathly cold as he faces the youngest.

Jungkook can’t help but to listen and take him as seriously as he’d put on, watching the way that darkness over takes his eye sockets. And the paleness in between his deepened veins. Its chilling, knowing only Jin was capable of that power.

“From what I heard earlier, you took everything Hoseok was telling you without much consideration. Which only shows me that obviously you’re not grasping the decision you are about to make. Not only that, but how you’ve decided to handle your own mistakes by taking it out on your family when we’re trying to help you fix it. There are times we spoil you, like letting you leave your duties here unattended or not reprimanding you when you’ve clearly lost any control on your own power and we do it because we want you to come into your own maturing. It’s sad that even with this freedom, you’ve caused nothing but trouble and too much attention- which is why I told Yoongi to watch over you since he seemed to be the most worried . Who knew you’d repay him by tearing his arm open in the process.”

Jimin sighs, seemingly over losing one of his prized pieces. “Jin...it’s fine.”

“No, it is not.” Seokjin glances at him with a harsh gaze, having the prince fall back into silence.

Seokjin then goes back to a quiet Jungkook. “You’re lucky it's me here and not Joon, he’d probably take it upon himself to rid you of your connection to her despite you disagreeing. Fortunately, I didn’t tell him everything you’ve been doing, he only knows about Y/n and that you’ve definitely taken a liking to her. Maybe, we can keep it that way, but first you need to clean up your mess. Listen to Hoseok and turn off those damn emotions, before you end up killing Y/n and yourself.”

“I-” Jungkook wants to defend himself, but when he thought about it...was there actually any point?

He’s wrong and he knows it, plus the prince knows just how lenient they’ve been with him. He was fortunate to be where he is, he could have been at the bottom ranks- a no name slaving away for the rest of eternity...he would have never met you. “Yes, Hyung. I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing, those are only words. We didn’t bring you here to watch you disappoint us, nor would we ever want you to fail.” Jin watches as Jungkook’s pride leaves his expression and sees the resolve in him instead.

Meanwhile Hoseok looks at him and Seokjin, they both nod in confirmation- giving him the go ahead to continue on with Jungkook. He just didn’t know if this would be something Jungkook is capable of handling once it's done. “ I can help you turn them off Kook...however, turning them back on won't be easy. You might not even want to, it's up to you whether you complete your connection to her or break it. Do you think you’re up for that?”

“You can’t undo it by yourself, that's for sure. They’d gradually have to come back, either over time or I guess if something really special happens. There's no true way to tell how your relationship will continue with her.” Jimin looks to him as well, everyone’s eyes falling on the poor prince and awaiting his answer as he thinks hard about it.

What other choice did he have?

Jungkook nods in understanding, the image of you and your smile coming to him and it hurts to know that at some point- that may no longer have his heart skipping like it is at this moment. Still, he’d rather have you and make you happy while he felt nothing - than to not have you at all. So once again his mind was made up he didn’t need another second to begin his transition.

“Okay, let's do it..”

Hoseok nods.

He then stands from his seat, bracing himself as if he was going to go to war and both of the couple follow. Jimin gets up first and then Hoseok, standing apart and Jungkook waits when he sees the king rolling up the sleeves of his button down and how Jimin begins to move the furniture back. The broken table shards, the chairs, even the couch Seokjin had been lounging on.

Jungkook is suddenly nervous from the strange preparations.

“Wait, how exactly are you going to help me—?” He couldn’t get the rest out. Hoseok signals to someone and it wasn’t long before both of the prince's knees were being kicked in from behind, causing him to drop towards the ground and his arms abruptly being pinned behind his back by an incredibly strong force.

Jimin stands to the side and Seokjin is nowhere to be found. Which makes Jungkook assume that’s who’s holding him hostage. Meanwhile Hoseok is approaching Jungkook, pitch black eyes staring straight at him as a nasty smirk makes its way on his face.

“Now, usually you can do this on your own if you have the experience— but since this is your first time we’ll have to do it manually, so this might hurt…-actually no, it will hurt like hell.” He begins just as his calloused hands were grabbing the sides of Jungkook's head and he notices immediately how Jimin cringes in the background- yet he still looks as amused as ever.

Jungkook then brings his attention back to the man in front of him as a foreboding slithers deep into the pit of his stomach. “Um, Hobi Hyung–”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle…” Hoseok somehow manages to smile comfortingly once he notices the shift in Jungkook. “—Oh and I definitely won’t be thinking about the priceless decor you’ve just destroyed less than 5 minutes ago. So just relax and try not to swallow your tongue.” He then mentions with no remorse and immediately destroys any kind of comfort the kid might have felt previously.

Sweat begins rolling down Jungkook’s back and Hoseok then looks up towards the elder holding him down. “Ready?”

“ Let's get this over with, I’m getting bored.” Seokjin sighs in return.

These sadistic assholes…Jungkook thinks to himself.

Hoseok focuses back on him, the black in his veins deepening and pouring through his arms as a smokey black essence begins to seep out and wrap around Jungkook's head like snakes. It’s hot like lava, a searing pain that follows in its path as it slowly inches towards his nose and eyes.

He’d say a silent prayer if he actually prayed…Instead he could only release a pained groan from the heat that was begging to enter his head. The essence falls in relentlessly, making Jungkook’s eyes roll back and not long after afterwards does Hoseok notice the dark blood beginning to drip from his nose, seeping from his eyes and ears in the same manner and Jungkook lets out animalistic scream.

He’s got him…

“Okay, let's begin.”

You’re not sure whether you’d slept through most of the night well, but somehow while you were within a deep sleep, you felt an immense amount of pain washing over you within your dreams before leaving you completely numb and floating in an endless void.

It was strange, how saddened you had been just moments ago after having a weird dream and then waking up instant without any cause.

Just like that void, darkness is the only thing that engulfs you as you come to. Your senses are suddenly alert to any small thing around you and you’re jolting awake violently with intense heat swirling around in your head. Before it runs throughout your entire body, It then slowly begins to fade and you’re taking in a deep breath when you’re very much aware of the sounds filling your lonesome space.

When you glance in front of your bed, you’re shocked to see thick black boots clunking across your bedroom floor and heading purposefully in your direction. Your first instinct is to immediately panic, heart beat rising in the fear of some unknown intruder breaking into your apartment. But then, as your gaze quickly moves around in the darkness, it then follows up the tall figure striding closer.

You’re terrified, immediately frozen with fear when you see how familiar it looks to you in the distance, a strange sense of an unknown emotion taking you by surprise.

They weren’t attacking you, actually you were almost sure they’re doing the exact opposite. The movements are highly familiar and you’re too focused seeing an inked hand reaching towards the bottom half of your legs. In the process, you’re holding your breath and a wary look crosses your face when that same hand goes to grip the sheets you’d kicked off in your sleep.

Realizing this, you know for a fact that the figure was getting ready to pull them over you- just like it always did when you were too hot to leave them on and this only aided in making you aware of how extremely cold you are at the moment.

At times like this, you’d be too tired to refuse them letting him tuck you in on his own volition and you’d know you would just see him the next day.

But this time, you’re wide awake, not knowing if it’s really who you thought him to be and you weren’t willing to wait and see. Without thinking, you shoot up from your position and daringly reach towards the hand you’ve been eying that entire time.

“Jungkook-...”

You barely let the name leave your mouth as what you thought to be a person freezes. Unfortunately, the second your fingers could feel the object, you were immediately met with the air of your bedroom and the entire image disappears like a mirage.

Nothing, you were seeing nothing.

No figure, no black combat boots, none of that beautiful natural ink that snaked up his hand and around his body like an art. Instead your excitement is quickly stunted when you’re suddenly knocked out of your bed from a force that couldn’t be stopped. Your entire body twists and hurdles quickly towards the floor and you’re bracing yourself to hit the ground face first.

“Huh…-?” You open your eyes, suddenly jolting awake again. After a few seconds of awaiting that inevitable pain, you’re actually surprised to find yourself face planted into one of your pillows on your bed.

What… was that? You thought groggily as your eyes adjusted again, but it wasn’t to the darkness- instead you were being blinded by the light of your bedside lamp. You didn’t remember leaving it on and when you had awakened earlier it was off...right?

You remembered sleeping and this weird emotion came over you before you were jumping awake to grab for…maybe it was your light? That would explain how it got turned on in the middle of the night. The only problem is, you could have sworn you fell out of your bed when you did.

You then frown, head fuzzy with confusion as you tried to remember what exactly had just happened. As you moved, you felt more tired than usual, feeling as if a truck had run over your body and you slowly started to sit up within your position, your throat feeling extremely dry after the past few hours.

You sigh, turning to your side to look at the alarm clock that said 3:00 in the morning and your face turns down even more before rubbing at your eyes. How is that possible? You could have sworn that's when you fell asleep and just so you could ease this suspicion, you reach next to the clock to grab your phone, finding it to still be 3:00 am completely un-moving as well.

Strange.

Wondering to yourself how time hasn’t changed since you’ve been sitting there, you swallow slowly and attempt to get your thoughts together. It’s all too eerie for you and you couldn’t let yourself sit still for much longer, finally moving from your bed.

“It’s fine, you’re fine.” You grumble to yourself as you stand.

It’s times like this where you wish you could call on Jungkook, nervous to be in your own home alone. You never realized how much you’ve also grown to depend on him. Calling out for him whenever you wanted and he’d show up in a blink of an eye. Now no matter how hard you tried, he hasn’t shown and this time you felt like you needed him more than ever.

You stumble across the bedroom’s floor and out into the hall like usual when the atmosphere feels way off, almost spacey in a way. The hairs on the back of your neck are beginning to stand and your body shivers as a chill racks down your spine. You hold yourself once you've begun to walk through.

You couldn’t explain the dreadful sense that was easing up on you, feeling as if someone was taking the same steps as yours. It’s like they were watching your every move and hiding, while you made your way to the kitchen.

You huff when you finally get close and unease fills your chest. It only makes it worse while you are traveling through the dark of your own apartment, unable to see who else may be waiting around within it.

Once you are by the entrance, you notice how warm your back is and you could swear someone is standing right behind you- transferring heat from their body to yours. Quickly, panic had begun to set in and you’re shivering in the freezing temperature, pulling your shirt down a bit more for warmth. A constant anxiety of knowing once you turn around you weren’t going to like what you’re met with in return.

There’s nothing more terrifying than this as the overwhelming presence is getting closer. Hell, you could swear they were running to you over and over again, but you’re quick to shake that thought.

Maybe all of this is just in your head…

Before you drive yourself even more crazy, you finally round the corner of your destination and feel on the wall to reach slowly for the light switch. You wanted to do it fast, but that would just ruin the stealth and you didn’t want to trigger whatever it is, but still you couldn’t see a damn thing. So your hand slowly crawls up more as you swallow down your fear and when you are close enough to feel the block shaped switch on the wall, you’re closing your eyes and taking a deep breath for bravery before you flick it upwards and a bright light gives you a clearer look into the housing—

Everything…is truly in your head and you need help.

You release the breath you were holding, looking back to see your living room in its neat and peaceful state. No one is there and neither is anyone else when you glance down the hallway from where you came. No axe murderers or night creatures stalking your movement- just you.

You then laugh out incredulously, almost like a fooled mad woman and relief floods you after finally coming to the conclusion that you were actually alone. You make sure to calm yourself, running your hand over your hair and somehow managing to get it through this time without the knots.

As if you aren’t stressed enough, working like crazy and having the biggest meltdown over your friend, while also realizing your feelings for him. You’re probably going to have to consider psychological therapy, after clearly making up scary scenarios in your head.

Tension starts leaving you little by little, but you’re so choked up from a drier throat- it suddenly has you padding over to one of your cabinets so you could grab a glass from the lower shelf. You then head over to your fridge before reaching into it to grab the water jug, filling your glass in complete silence.

It feels like nothing but that could help and as parched as you are, you’re more than willing to take your first big swallow to soothe the dryness altogether along with your anxiety. The cool water goes down and you hum in appreciation, sighing in content before pulling the glass up against your lips, the only problem this time seems to be that you still don’t feel completely alone.

Pausing altogether, that dreadful emotion makes its way back to you. Actually, before you could even think about taking your next sip of water- you were sure that you heard steady footsteps clunking from your side.

Fear shakes you to your very core and before you could react, you’re looking towards the source only to see nothing, but clearly hearing them as they step around. Your heart is beating rapidly, so much you might as well have been put into the hospital from an unhealthy pace. —Abruptly, with a pitiful whimper you could feel your blood run cold and two arms are emerging from behind you, coming to wrap around your waist as a way of hugging you snugly from behind. Your throat wants to close up- the hairs on your body standing to alert because there was definitely someone’s breath falling heavily down the back of your neck. Steadily, not ragged as if they felt no kind of adrenaline or worse they’d been perfectly calm watching you this entire time.

Kind of like a natural predator.

Normal people would have screamed, moved- do anything other than releasing the fragile glass within their hand and letting it drop eventfully to the floor. You obviously weren’t within that category, stuck in place until you had the strong scent of mint hitting your nose.

Only then did you feel like crumbling onto the ground.

“When did you become a sleepwalker? You hate walking in the dark.” A deep but soft voice chimes from behind you. The melody immediately reminds you of your friend and you're taken back by the way your body is instantly covered in that similar wash of heat.

You slowly reply. “With good reason when you’re sneaking around my apartment.”

Jungkook tenses behind you from the reaction and leans down to place his chin on your shoulder, a simple chuckle rattling in his chest and vibrating on your back. “Technically I’m not sneaking if I let you hear my footsteps.”

“Same, difference. I thought you were someone waiting to kill me.” You say rolling your eyes, but it was clearly all a front.

His chest rises on your back. “Well you’d make it way too easy, stumbling clumsily. You weren’t exactly subtle and I definitely had plenty of tempting opportunities.”

“Oh…” As much as you try to calm yourself, you are still in the aftershocks of your fear.

“...Hey-…I’m kidding.” Jungkook then adds from your silence, but feels your body is shaking in his hold, trembling under his arms and weak as ever.

He wonders if it could have been from you only wearing an oversized t-shirt in your deathly cold apartment or if you simply couldn’t handle the way he had himself wrapped around you for a surprise. He’s studying you, inhaling your scent when it hits him and he’s intrigued when his heartbeat still speeds up, however no excitement fills his chest-at least not in the way it used to.

Now, while you are directly in his reach, it's too bad that whatever Hoseok had done to him, he could just barely feel the parts that had him completely enamored with you.

He’s empty, no happiness, or thrill for being around you. He isn’t sad not feeling anything for you either, if anything he’s just really horny and he likes how your touch sends euphoric shocks all around him. It actually reminds him of what Hoseok said earlier, how others before him did this so they could kill their partners...In some way he can see why.

There was only slight truth to the temptation, when he said it would have been easy to kill you. He just knows logically, if he did, he’d never forgive himself when the block wears off. To be honest he was actually facing a much different dilemma and that was figuring out a way to ignore the secondary effects.

Forcing himself away from the physical pull of you.

Fortunately, he won’t have to worry too much on that aspect- in fact he’s not worried at all. Jungkook honestly doesn’t know how he was able to be so consumed with you before, but it was certainly clarifying without all those thoughts running around in his head.

For instance, earlier, Jungkook didn’t realize how boring it was to watch over you- which is something he’s never noticed before. It should be heartbreaking for his lack of reaction. Him, appearing in your room as you slept away peacefully after not seeing you for weeks and he couldn’t be overcome with his joy once he was finally near you again. He wasn’t distracted with his love and excitement of finding you at a good time, though that doesn’t mean he couldn’t feel anything else.

He specifically remembers seeing how you’d kicked all of your covers off while sleeping like usual, but he couldn’t stop his eyes from running over your body and it seems the only thing he could succumb to is his natural instincts.

He’s considered how he should intervene, afterall it would be the first time you’ve seen him in a while and he didn’t want to just thrust himself back into your life. He could have crawled into bed with you and held you close just to feel something, but he still wasn’t too sure at the time if you were safe. The last time he’d gotten so close he almost allowed the darkest part of him out and thankfully that doesn’t seem to be the problem anymore. Instead, he thought he could at least cover you with your blankets- consistently finding himself to be distracted and pulled to you the more your body was shifting maneuvering to find any kind of warmth.

He could’ve helped with that…wait no- he definitely shouldn't. At least not while he wasn’t not in love with you? It’s only fair.

He found himself wondering what it was you could possibly be dreaming of to have you in so much distress. With nothing else to entertain him- he couldn’t help it...curiousity overtook his thoughts and he wasn’t ready for the images and information he was met with after taking a short look within your head, throwing the man off furthermore into his visit and ultimately messing with his self control.

It was enough to have him thinking, swallowing back his urges and moving across your room to wait. Stupidly, Jungkook was so wrapped up in your thoughts, trying to process your new emotions, he didn’t pay attention to his own movements. A spark of fire suddenly flew throughout his head, causing him to stutter and he stomped forward at the same time your body jolted.

In the end he only woke you from your sleep when he made too much noise, hearing you call for him out of the blue and shooting up to reach for him with no warning. Once you actually had his wrist in your hand- he froze looking down at your miserable hazy expression and it didn’t feel right the way he wanted to touch you or ravish you...he could feel a part of him scratching from inside- mouth salivating and canines growing longer. He was even thankful you couldn’t see the veins deepening around his pitch black eyes at that moment.

Wasn’t this supposed to help with his control?

Shit...He thought, pupils dilating and before you knew it, Jungkook made the cautious decision to put you back to sleep, then moving as far away from you as possible.

It wasn’t until time had passed that he planned to visit you again, assuming that it would be better instead of waking you up in the middle of the night, especially after discovering what you’d had been going through while he was gone. Sadly, he still couldn’t resist, Hearing the way your heart beats rapidly in your chest, your waves of fear rolling off of you and beckoning his darkest nature to follow. Before he knew it, Jungkook felt too drawn to you as you entered the kitchen, listening to the whispers of your thoughts calling out for him. It was like the first time he heard it. You were just as scared and lonely, giving up on the reality that he would show and he was trying his best not to be affected by it. It was actually kind of depressing... If the man hadn’t shown himself just now, you’d probably have given yourself a stroke, or burst into tears sooner than later—because apparently you are now being affected by the bond a lot more than him.

In that moment, he knew the ultimate ways to make it stop, fulfill the bond or break it. Jungkook was conflicted, he loves you and he knows this, even if he currently couldn’t feel it. But still… would this be something you wanted?

Jungkook paced back and forth, hands itching to reach for you and it almost got the better of him, until a sweet smell of almond had them shifting from their angle near the pulsing beat in your neck and wrapping around you- completely giving away his stealth.

Jungkook inhaled, resisting the arousal forming inside.

Yeah, he just fucked himself.

“Don’t stress yourself, I’d never let anyone hurt you.” He holds a little tighter hoping to calm your racing heart, but it only makes its beat faster. Oh the irony- considering how he really needs to protect you from himself.

“That's hard to believe when you’ve suddenly gone MIA Kook.” You scoff breathlessly, lowering your gaze to one of the hands around you and seeing the familiar markings all over it. Without thinking, you grab for it, hoping that once you did, you wouldn’t end up realizing you had been dreaming the entire time. Honestly, it was getting hard to tell at this point. “You were gone for a month and I thought you left me alone again.”

He shifts uncomfortably, frowning in thought about how he’d been blocked from seeing you—which, he later learned may be due to the meddling of his brothers.

He wished he could be pissed, having Seokjin conveniently reveal to him after Hoseok took his emotions temporarily. Apparently, it was their way of testing out their theory about his relationship with you, your bond to their youngest member. Which is now only proven to be completely true and Jungkook wouldn’t put it past Seokjin to have manipulated the situation as some form of punishment for him.

He was truly cruel when he wanted to be.

“I-... had business to take care of at home, it just took me longer than usual.” Jungkook lies, but takes a mental note of how he will be speaking with Yoongi once he gets his emotions back.

“A little communication would still have been nice. Plus that doesn’t explain why you decided to pop in and scare the living hell out of me in the middle of the night.” You swallow the thick lump in your throat while trying not to let yourself be overcome with your feelings. It was hard to control how much your hands were actually shaking at that moment, Whether it be from what was left of your fear or just the overall excitement of having your good friend back.

It's been two weeks and while you are concerned— you’re curious as to why he chose now to talk with you.

He shrugs “To be fair, you told me nothing about you working night shifts this entire week. I’ve tried looking for you every moment I got...” Your eyes widen from the confession, starry orbs filled with curiosity. He sighs, lifting his shoulders “-you were gone right under my nose.”

You’re silent for a moment.“...How did you know that?”

“Know what?”

“That I was working more shifts?” You clarify in an expectant tone.

He suddenly stiffens and you’re already sighing in disappointment when you figure it out. This wouldn’t be the first time Jungkook has found out something he shouldn’t know from you.

“Jungkook…” You say his name and he rolls his eyes, thinking he might have made the wrong move telling you that. “We’ve talked about this.”

He holds a little tighter “I know, I know you hate it when I invade...I just wanted to know where you’ve been.” He continues to lie.

The problem is…why did he feel like he had to? Why is Jungkook putting off the inevitable? You are his soulmate and he will have to tell you that eventually.

“Working and trying not to be worried crazy about you...that would have been my answer if you’d just asked me.”

“You need to be a little crazy to have someone like me in your life, Angel. Otherwise you’d have never come back, the moment you found me again.” He replies a bit too honestly.

“...Did you just call me crazy?” You finally crack a half smile and step forward out of his embrace.

Jungkook reluctantly lets you go and he hums. “No, I said a little crazy.”

“Yo-...You stalked my life for months and have a personal vendetta against my uniform shirt.” You’re ready to point it out.

“Anyone would be scarred looking at that hideous outfit they force you to wear.” He rolls his eyes.

“Jungkook, you burned two sets of my work clothes and I almost got fired for that.” You balk in disbelief while he smirks, completely satisfied with himself.

“A small price to pay for salvation.” He immediately replies and you then move, turning around to face him when you recognize those words.

“Did you just quote Thanos?” The question leaves your mouth when a giggle rises in your throat from your friend and before you know it, you’re finally facing him and seeing him for the first time in a while.

Jungkook actually didn't do much, instead looking down towards you and slowly dropping his smile before running his eyes completely over your face. He falters, barely letting you catch on to the way his brows dip in concentration when your eyes meet and he can sense the change in your mind.

You, on the other hand, couldn’t seem to catch your breath once you stared up at him and slowly went over his whole attire.

Jungkook, no longer looked like his normal dress code. Sure he’s still wearing his thicker boots, but they weren’t the kind you were used to. He’s dressed way more mature than normal, black loose button up undone by the first three and exposing the top part of his chest, he’s sporting black leather pants fitted to the thicker chords of his thighs and you’re then switching to the matching leather jacket that goes with it.

It’s...so mouth watering to say the least, but still made your throat run dry once your eyes went from the simple silver chain on his chest and up to his face. Which also brings you to the most surprising change that catches you off guard. It was the fact that he actually changed his hair. No longer was it draped to his shoulders and hung half-way back into a pony-tail but instead to be tapered shallow on the sides and parted into two directions-cropped right to the top of his forehead. The style itself seemed to add years onto him, making you notice the more structured part of his jawline.You even found yourself, noticing the fact that he had a piercing on his right brow or that his markings flowed further up onto his neck than you’ve ever seen before.

Oh... wow… You breathe and your eyes go wide when you realize you’re probably staring too long. It was impossible to keep yourself from being starstruck.

Jungkook looked like a completely different man and one who had the confidence of someone nowhere near your level. It was striking to say the least, but also just a little intimidating- especially being that you were only in a huge worn out shirt for night clothes.

Immediately, you notice how his eyes go lax just a little, his usual black orbs staring straight into you, possibly seeing every sinful emotion you feel just by the first look at him.

He definitely can and it’s excruciating for him to ignore.

Jungkook clears his throat, ignoring whatever you’re doing to him. “I know I was born in hell, but you’re looking at me like I actually agree with his ideology...” He chuckles.

—You quickly stop him and pull yourself together.

“Kook, no. I... just wasn’t expecting you to look like this.” You say as you shake your head, trying to collect your thoughts, but still finding it hard to adjust to his gaze. For some reason it comes off way more alluring than usual and you have no doubt it was stemming from you suddenly wanting to jump his bones.

Jungkook stares at you a little too hard as if he was trying to figure out a puzzle. He then looks down, thinking about his appearance until it hits him. “Oh! yeah, I guess I’ve never had to show you this persona. I only use it while I’m home and not working.” He tries to explain cautiously.

“You mean, this is what you look like when you’re not here?” You point out with a nervous tilt to your voice. “-Like a crazy hot dilf?”

Jungkook frowns in a humorous manner. “Well, I am a prince...I have to look the part to be it. Believe it or not, being royalty there is like being an A-list celeb here, except with an insane amount of fear and respect.” He teases and yet something seems off. Jungkook didn’t seem like the type to care about whether he could impress others or not, he just does.

“Yeah, well not everyone rules over a section on the dark side mister, so we can’t all be hot demon royalty...well actually except for Yoongi...he at least has the attitude down perfectly.” You’re rolling your eyes before crossing your arms, only to land on the ground- where you recently remembered you just dropped one of your nice glasses. You then move, walking around your kitchen island to grab for a napkin and broom.

“I’m sorry that I was born naturally hot?” He smirks while also catching you off guard.

You lift your brow completely taken back by his arrogance and you’re not sure why but you could feel your stomach roll in reaction.

“ Does cockiness also come with the new clothes or…—?” You trail off as you turn to walk back so you could clean up your mess, but you stop the moment you see it’s completely gone and Jungkook’s dusting off his hands in a haste.

“No, but it does come with the title.” He chirps immediately catching on to your question and shrugs casually. When he does this, your eyes immediately zone in on his chest falling up and down and you’re quickly thinking of a way to pull yourself together. While doing so, you place the napkin gently onto the kitchen counter after putting the broom back in the corner.

A deep breath escapes your chest when you take the time to control it and you’re leaning over your sink before checking the time on your electric stove. The clock now reads 6:53 am and you frown as you turn to look out of your kitchen window. From your view, the seemingly night sky was beginning to turn a lighter shade of violet. Indicating how soon the sun was to come.

What the hell?

“...Jungkook?” You’re calling out into the air and before you knew it, you felt him again.

You look back and towards the rest of the kitchen- seeing him suddenly posted up against the entrance. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows as the mesh, silk shirt hugs him beautifully around his torso. When you’re staring at him again, you watch as he plays with the ring on his lip, but your stomach churns with unease.

“Yes, Angel.” He answers and the second you blink he’s appearing right by your side, startling you incredibly. It's been so long that you're surprised by such a common move with him. You step to the side, somehow more put off by how tall he seems next to you. It’s almost as if his height had changed too.

You cross your arms before asking “It wouldn’t be crazy of me to believe you’re hiding something right?”

With that one question to Jungkook, he tenses as a cautious look slowly enters his eyes and all playfulness is gone when he sees the confusion falling into place within your mind.

“I don’t know what you mean.” He plays dumb.

Of course he is, he just didn’t think you’d pick up on his mistake.

You turn, leaning back on the counter and put yourself to thought. “I went to bed at 3:00 am and woke up a few minutes ago at 3:00 am…it's almost 7:00 now.” You state more so as if you’re trying to piece it together yourself.

“You must’ve been dreaming or something. Don’t stress yourself out over it.” He swallows, suddenly seeming on guard and it's almost unnerving how straight his face has gone to hide any expression.

He looks hollow.

“Stop that.” You frown, seeing something completely off about it. “I know you’re reading my thoughts again...I can feel it.”

“I’m not always reading your thoughts, Y/n.” He huffs, stepping up and looking down at you completely convincing to the naked eye. Deep inside, you knew better. You stare at him and don’t back down from your concern.

“What is it kook, I know something’s not right.” You grit.

“What's making you think something’s wrong?” He sends you a defensive look and shrugs.

“That right there!” You point immediately. “ You’re getting upset.”

It feels like Jungkook had suddenly put his mask back up as soon as you said that, which isn’t something normal to happen between you both. You frown deeper, looking at him. It was little at first, but you realized why Jungkook seemed a little different to you- his voice, his demeanor…it was less familiar to you and whatever dialect he was using with you was more formal than endearing. It was like meeting him over again for the first time or maybe he just felt less lively than he usually is. You would even say it feels like he’s holding part of himself back.

“You seem different and not just the way you’re dressed but how you’re acting.” You say honestly.

He smiles and it puts you at ease a little, but you can clearly see there's something he's not telling you because it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I’m just tired, there was a lot to handle once I went back and I’m still adjusting.”

“Adjusting to what, did something happen to you?” After hearing that, you look at him disappointed. You clearly didn’t believe a word he said and that was simply because you could easily tell when he’s lying.

“Y/n, for your sake please let it go.” He pleads.

“No.” Your expression stays hard.

He sighs in slight frustration. “I’m trying to go about this carefully and you’re not making it easy. if I tell you why then-”

“Since when has it been too hard to tell me the truth?” You then ask, with hurt filling your voice. “ I get that there's some things I don’t need to know about what you do and your family, but it doesn’t feel like this is something with just them. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here right now.”

You’re right…He’s not fond of how obvious that is, so Jungkook says nothing in return and watches how determined you look staring up at him.

“You can tell me anything, you know.”

“I do know that, Angel.” He replies in a sincere manner, yet still it was lacking. “It’s just not that easy to explain, okay? I don't know how.”

How to tell you he almost devoured you and wants to fuck you at the same time? Yeah super easy.

The both of you stand there in an awkward silence and it’s like someone had sucked all of the words from both of you, well mainly Jungkook.

Clearly, there’s unknown tension in the air and neither of you weren’t sure of where to lead after that. A small part of you wondered if it's because he was in trouble, or if he’d gotten hurt. If that really is the truth behind it, it only made you worry more if somehow it would come back to mess with him again. However this still doesn’t explain why there's almost a 3 hour gap between your time and why Jungkook seems like a totally different version of himself.

Was this the real Jungkook? Is this what he’s like when he’s not with you?

When you look at him, your chest feels heavy and you can’t make those butterflies go away when he’s looking at you just as hard. It has you realizing just how much you truly are into him. His bunny face even in the newer version of himself, those big doe eyes and pouty lips. You used to love his longer hair, always playing with it and running your hands through it, part of you wishes you could do that now-even with his new undercut.

You don’t realize when your mind wanders, somehow envisioning Jungkook with his wild hair, your hands running over the natural inky skin of his body as your hands tug on the silky strands to your heart’s content. You wanted that- his kisses, his touch and so much more, that was evident with the trickles of arousal invading your abdomen from his presence. It's not the moment to think of this, but you couldn’t stop the images from popping in. You’re actually beginning to feel like it wasn’t of your own volition at this point.

“I just want to understand what's going on. You say everything is alright- but it doesn’t feel like that and honestly I don't think it is.” You shake your head, hugging yourself and shielding yourself away from him.

“Y/n...I know I haven't told you everything and maybe that's because I’m still trying to understand it myself. I think it would be too soon for you to handle. There's a better time than now, we can wait. ” He speaks out while listening to every thought you were having and his breath hitches, seeing the images that invaded your mind…He wanted that too and he thought he would have more time than this.

You’re not making this better. Stop thinking like that- fuck he wishes he couldn’t see it all.

You listen back in when he speaks and realize you were just staring at him again. Honestly you hoped that he couldn’t see what you were thinking because otherwise you’d rather have been swallowed up whole in the ground. You clear your throat and try to push down the nervousness that's slowly rising within you- a shiver racking down your spine when you take in the mint that's hitting your nose from him and the more you found yourself standing there with him, the more you were seriously finding it harder to not think that way. You honestly have no idea where any of it came from, but you were so on edge and you can’t control it.

Exhaling you, try to calm yourself.

“I’d rather know now, before you’re disappearing to who knows where again.” You say almost as low as a whisper and step forward to take his hand in yours. “And for your information, I don’t think anything will ever be as much of a reality changer as finding out about you and the fact that demon’s actually exist, it can’t be that much worse to handle.” You smile and Jungkook sees it, in your eyes, how much you feel when it comes to him. They're warm and inviting, completely sincere with every word you say because you truly wanted to know.

Damn- wait why is he noticing that?

Honestly It was like a punch to his gut, a stinging sensation burning on the sides of his head ringing throughout his nose and ears. He hisses, bringing his hands up to touch, but he couldn’t stop the small sense of relief forming after the realization.

You’re definitely into him.

“Y/n…” Something twinges from within his head, trying to break through and Jungkook is hissing from the sensitive heat that sears throughout. He grunts and his hands come up to grab beside his ears.

Your eyes widen in shock. “Kook, whats wrong?”

Grabbing his hands to pull them away, you’re looking him over intensely and you begin to notice the odd appearance on the side of his head, closer towards his ears. Without thinking much more you lean up closer to him and as usual you notice when he tenses, inhaling deeply, but that doesn’t stop you anyway. You lift up your hand to touch his face, looking in to inspect him more and Jungkook watches you like a hawk, because so much is crushing down on him at this moment.

His body is lighting up from your proximity, a hand landing gently on your waist for support. A causal gesture, but the touch created tingling shocks in its wake. You would think this is a new territory for you two, it’s quite the opposite. It was normal for you to be this intimate with him, it’s just never in any way romantically… At least not like this moment, where you are very much aware of his hand and Jungkook fights the instinct to grip you tighter, pulling you onto him.

He tilts his head curiously, feeling the soft caresses of your fingers on his face and he sees the moment you begin to notice the slight scarring on the sides of his head. Memories of what felt like burns that Hoseok created on him comes rushing in and suddenly he curses when he feels your hands run over it. Normally his kind are able to regenerate when needed, but because Jungkook was not only affected by someone stronger than him. What was done to him causes a much deeper wound that's harder to recover from.

It could even be irreversible.

“What is this? When did this happen to you?” You ask, running your thumb over one side.

He hesitates but finds it better to just grit his teeth, ignoring your proximity as much as he can. “It’ll go away...I got them with some help from my friend.” He answers honestly, but still sees the confusion on your face.

Jungkook feels as your finger follows it up into his hair, your fingers slowly seeping into the shallow parts, because you simply couldn’t help it. He instantly feels a shutter in his body, briefly closing his eyes the second you thought about pulling on it just a little. Suddenly before you could look more— he grips your hand tight and pulls it away gently before looking down at you in a more serious manner, burying the heavy lust burning within his chest.

You’re way too close right now and should definitely move. Actually, he should move too, before he messes this up…but why can’t he?

“Oh-” You blink when you realize how distracted you’d gotten before clearing your throat. “D-Did it help?”

“...Not enough.” He breathes lower, desperately, but still watches you carefully as a darker look comes into your hazy stare in return. “-If only you knew.

You don’t notice the darkness seeping into his by the second, but the air around you both was thicker all of a sudden. Are you…are you seriously turned on by him right now? Oh no.

“Then maybe you can enlighten me, Jungkook.” He hears your voice, soft and curious as you stare up at him within his running mind and very much unaware of everything he’s holding back from you.

Your scent is so overpowering at this point that even without his emotions, Jungkook definitely still felt how high his temperature could go and it wasn’t enough to stop him from being turned on by you. He only wished Hoseok had explained that part to him, or at least warned Jungkook how much he’d have the physical need burning within him. Better yet, maybe this is what Hoseok had planned from the start- with everything else everyone has done to manipulate his relationship, maybe Jungkook wouldn’t be surprised that Hoseok had only taken it upon himself to speed up the process.

Afterall, Jungkook had willingly let him into his head…Hoseok, what did you really do to him?

A monstrous desire chews at him to take you in any way possible, anywhere, and position—so many are going through his mind. The fact that he can still hear your thoughts definitely isn’t helping.

He shakes his head “Shit, I-...It’s too much right now.” The man says, fighting the erotic influence within his head.

“…Yes, because being best friends with a guy who appears and disappears out of my house everyday makes so much more sense.” You scoff up at him and he only rolls his eyes once more at your strange humor. “--I’m pretty sure I’ve watched you kill a guy once and while I’m still severely traumatized and seriously considering therapy, at least it was too quick for Yoongi and I to see.”

Jungkook, bites his bottom lip, knowing of his friend’s act. He couldn’t wait to see the look on your face once you met the real king…wait…would you meet the rest of his family? Was that something he really wanted? Again, why is Jungkook thinking this far ahead- you don’t even know what you truly mean to him and vice versa. As much as he knows Yoongi lied to him and would never want to step foot up here again, he’s pretty sure the grumpy man would eventually miss you after a while. There was no acting when it came to your friendship with him, that much Jungkook knows is true, he talked about you half of the time- even when he wasn’t reporting to him.

The matter still remains, was he truly ready to bring you around his dysfunctional family? And why did that spark something foreign in his chest? This is truly bittersweet.

If it weren’t for them, Jungkook wouldn’t have spent most of his time searching for you and going half crazy on your whereabouts. They literally drove him mad and for what? Because he wasn’t moving fast enough?

Fine, it’s fair to say that Jungkook was only being a coward when it came to you. He took his time, because the first time he showed you the real him- you pushed him away…Jungkook didn’t trust his own reaction if he told you how he felt and you didn’t feel the same. However, he never expected to be racing against an ancient curse and maybe…that's why he keeps putting off the truth from you. If you didn’t accept his feelings, he felt like it might truly kill him at the time… now would be the best while he couldn’t feel much right?

The problem is… Jungkook should really tell you about the bond first, because if this does go in his favor and the way his family clearly intended…Jungkook might actually end up completing it.

“—For your information he didn’t die until after I took him away so technically I didn’t kill him in front of you.” He corrects and if you weren’t so bent on figuring out his problem, you would have reminded him that hearing a human’s neck crack that violently is still disturbing enough to have anyone believing the complete opposite.

“Whatever, Just tell me already.” You wait patiently for him to begin, watching the hard look on his face as he tries to battle his inner turmoil of what to do next.

He really wanted to skip over this part, but Jungkook felt everything breaking down in an instant. Your thoughts, his hunger, the whispers…why did everything have to be so intense? Honestly he couldn’t take it anymore.

Fuck, is he actually giving in? wait.

“I-...hell.” Jungkook barely mumbles and you notice as his face goes completely blank, but he moves close enough to be a breath away. Jungkook then swallows, eyeing you strangely and though you had to admit while his gaze was drawing a forbidden emotion in your mind- you stare back at him expectantly, waiting for his next move.

What you’re not ready for however, is when Jungkook’s hands are grabbing both sides of your face abruptly and pulling you towards him. Your body colliding against his hard front. The sheer force of his strength has you calling out in surprise, your face quickly coming so close to his and he sends the deepest gaze into your eyes before something urges him to close the space.

He couldn’t help himself, he’s supposed to wait!

–His lips crash onto yours and catch your breath entirely from the shock of his sudden passion. You could feel your body reacting immediately—heat firing up in your stomach as he waits a second before moving them and you find yourself suddenly clutching his shirt for dear life. You were expecting words not a kiss- and definitely not for him to suddenly take this route with absolutely no cause whatsoever. You just couldn’t complain as a wave of lust shoots over your stiffened body and his minty scent becomes so much stronger to inhale.

For a long time, there are no words or thoughts, just the feel of his lips molding and his body pressing into you to be closer. You may feel his tight embrace, but you had no idea of the fierceness he was fighting back to do more.

It’s definitely too late.

You guessed he was waiting for you to reject him, but after feeling his tongue swipe over your bottom lip for entrance, you’re more than willing to open your mouth- sighing in content when he slips the muscle in and licks almost desperately against you to get a better taste. His hands leaving your cheeks, Jungkook’s arms then come to wrap securely around your waist like before and he backs you up into the counter, definitely putting more emphasis into how much closer he wants you to him.

It's not enough for him.

Not long after, you’re being lifted up, finding it hard to let yourself pull away and so does Jungkook. He grips one side of your legs, hoisting you effortlessly onto the counter and the flips in your belly are going crazy as his cold leather pants make contact with the inner parts of your thighs- putting himself comfortably in between.

He just wants a taste…but something keeps pushing him. His own efforts to fight back are crumbling so easily.

Your mind is still running on another brain wave, one part of you completely lost and the selfish part of you present enough to enjoy the way his mouth is moving against yours, fulfilling the thoughts you were having all this time.

His lips were just as soft as you imagined and it’s strange suddenly being able to share a moment like this with him. You exhale the breath in your chest, leaning your entire body into him and while melting easily as he shifts towards a sweeter end of your kiss. Your arms come up to wrap around his neck and your eyes shut when your arousal finally makes its way to your panties- no doubt beginning to cause a wet stain.

More, you want more.

Letting the mix of sweet almonds travel up his nose, Jungkook reluctantly pulls himself back, somehow managing to temporarily snap out of whatever urge had taken over him at that moment. Those same burns from earlier lingered on him the longer he felt himself standing there with you, he wished he waited until a better moment to kiss you. It was going to be impossible to control himself from you after this.

Honestly…Jungkook really doesn’t think he can now.

You didn’t notice it, but he’d been taken by surprise when his vision had gone black out of nowhere, hands vibrating with the need to tear your clothes off. He couldn’t tell whether it was from him or if it was because of the bond pushing, wondering if this was possibly just another hallucination of his. However everything feels fine and you are in-fact sitting helplessly in his arms on your own counter.

Jungkook just fucked himself once again…he’d only intended for a sweeter kiss as a test, not whatever that was just now.

He’s left with a powerful hunger and it was running too deep inside him to ignore. Whether it was building up all this time or he’d always had it, Jungkook was overtaken by it and he’s wondering if it could be from the same hunger he felt to devour you. Only now it was dangerous to know there wouldn’t be any remorse if he did right now. This kind of desire was completely consuming him, or at least the mental block was slowly fading off, maybe that would explain why his head was lighting up over and over- until it was sending him into a fuzzy haze.

Jungkook stares down at you, getting a continuous light buzz when you try to chase his lips in return and when he doesn’t reciprocate, your eyes are opening- face stuck in a sinful daze when he hasn’t even touched you yet.

He doesn’t know how he’s ever held himself from you before…now he’s tasted you and the filthy images racing in his head at the moment had him wanting more. The way he could bend you over your sink, fucking so deep inside you until you only knew him. He was only making himself worse by the minute- salivating as he came to wrap his hand around your neck and his eyes growing to pitch black as if you both were a part of his unusual dark fantasies.

You’re definitely not and there's one thing Jungkook was sure of at this moment…he wants to completely ruin you.

...

Tag List : @thisartemisnevermisses @vampyjk @taeilmom @outro-kook @bishuthot @mwitsmejk @irissilujm @vickyboo @awesomebabyyoda @hanzyyme @gerim-1995 @i-dont-give-a-fok @hwangheiress @hollyverday @seajae @oishee09 @jolinaprincess @yoongibabs

a/n: I’m super sorry if some people couldn’t be tagged but tumblr isn’t allowing it.

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vitzi9 · 7 months

Text

Spider Soccoro

Spider x Human!Gn!Reader

Masterlist if you want to read my other things.

TW/CW: angst? with happy ending, reader is disabled (leg deformity, they can't walk long), reader is in an existential crisis, both are 18-19, one of reader's leg is bigger than the other.

I feel like reader's only personality is to be disabled??? i really hope it doesn't look like it to you. i feel like this is also cringe. I have no idea how to make romantic scene guys I'm sorry i've never held anyone's hand. I also feel like he's ooc

i got some kind of blank page syndrome and couldn't write anything for days (months) and i feel like i regressed in writing

I also really need to publish this it's taking so much place in my drafts. It's not amazing but it's not so bad either. Don't worry, Ethan Landry fic are coming.

(28/10/2023) (9 172 words)

Everyone was in a rush at the lab. You knew they were preparing an expedition. Norm would come talk to you soon, you wonder what stupid excuse he'll invent this time.

Something along the lines of 'it's dangerous', 'we won't be long', bla bla bla. You're used to it by now.

You suppose you're old enough to go back on Earth, now. But you were staying here with Norm since your parents did so years before. They died in the big war with Jake Sully. Well, your mother did survive, as to why you're here. But she only had the strength to give you life before losing her. So, yeah, you never really had a family, nor did Spider.

So, to compensate, he founds himself the Sullys, his new family. And you had Norm and your studies. It was all you had here. The problem is that what you considered your true family was him, Spider. He hated humans. Even though he was one. And, somehow, you understand him. So, you suspected he wasn't really fond of you. At least not anymore.

Especially since you were continuing your researches on Pandora's fauna and flora instead of simply accepting it and living with it as it is. Without trying to understand it and simply living with it.

Norm enters your dorm and smiles at you, as you predicted. You smile back. He starts his speech as usual: asking if you're okay, if you slept well, if your researches are progressing, if you're not too bored. And finally, he tells you the real reason of his presence here.

"We discovered this grove, you know ? Plants out there have exceptional medical virtues that we're yet to study.

-Good, when are we going ? "

The embarrassed face of Norm told you that it wasn't that simple.

"About that..."

Norm clears his throat. He begins a round walk in front of you to evacuate his anxiety.

"You don't have an avatar. It's well too dangerous to bring you with us. With the others, we decided that you should stay here. It's the best for you. And, you know, with your leg... he scratchs his forehead, embarrassed. We won't be long anyway and we'll bring back some of the flowers to study them here. You won't miss anything.

You knew he was lying. Firstly, despite the fact that you don't own an avatar, everyone on the team have one. For this reason, they won't have any difficulties in escorting you. Moreover, there is few to little predators interested in harming Humans. The only danger to which you are exposed therefore comes down to the environment in general. Which is mountains, severe weather, falls or any other natural obstacle that are easily avoidable things if you are on the back of one of the avatars of the team.

Secondly, you know for a fact that Norm won't collect any flowers. He forbids it. To him, and the team, disrupt the natural cycle of Pandora is a direct outrage to Eywa. If a plant grows at a certain place, then you shouldn't disturb it. Eywa knows and predict everything. Each molecule has a place and a role to play in this planet. At best, Norm will bring back a single petal to study but that will be all.

Clearly, you're not allowed to come because you're a burden.

"I'll be alone?"

He looks surprised for a moment. Norm probably wasn't expecting you to be so cooperative. But hey, what more can you do? They all already think you're a kid, freaking out now will only confirm that.

"Mike will be there. If you need help, just go to him directly in his quarters."

Mike is unsociable. He never leaves his laboratory except for vital needs. Plus, even though he stays with you, he's really sarcastic and sometimes hurtful. What Norm is telling you is that you'll be alone.

"When will you be back?

-Probably in two or three days. It won't be long."

Norm smiled softly at you. You don't smile back. He places his hand on your head, as if to reassure you.

"Don't do anything stupid while we're gone, huh? I'm counting on you."

Either way, it's not like there's much you can do here. There is nothing stupid to do. Norm tells you that you'll have to warn Spider if you see him, then he smiles at you, taking you in his arms. His hand strokes your back comfortingly.

"We'll be back soon, don't worry. If you're bored, I have old movie tapes in my room. But not a word to Jake, that idiot would be able to steal them from me."

You believe it was a joke. After all, you and Jake weren't close. Since he started a family, he seems to pretend to know nothing about Humans. Besides, why would you be friends with a forty-something married with children? It was obvious that you weren't going to tell him anything.

But Norm was repeating how Jake too was disabled and how you two could bond and he'd teach you plenty of things and... Seriously, what the hell ? No, you won't bond with him. You don't care that he was in a wheelchair for Eywa's sake. It's not a funny common point.

And you found it mostly humiliating how Norm simply saw you as the fragile weak kid. You have a personality too, you're not only disabled. You like things, you do things in your free time. You're not dying. But he seems to forget that too often. You're nineteen (less ? or more? You can't tell) ! You're not a kid anymore, you know how to handle yourself!

After a few final goodbyes, the avatars leave the lab. You watched them leave from the windows, tears of frustration buried deep inside of you. It was so unfair how you were always alone. You were born here. You have the right to want to explore, right? But no, always always always alone. It's frustrating.

Besides, you didn't feel comfortable alone here. There was not a sound. Only the fine roar of the machines in the background. You could hear your heartbeat as if shared by a speaker. With every step you took, the metal floor echoed throughout the base. You couldn't stand the noise: it made you anxious. You had the terrible feeling of being lost, alone, in the middle of space.

Finally, you returned to your room. You threw yourself head first on the bed, smothered your tears in your cushion and then slept for a while. To lull yourself to sleep, you ran your fingers through your hair and scratched your head. When you woke up hours later, nothing had changed. That same anxiety-inducing silence still resided. You stood up, then stared dreamily at the vegetation outside the base from the main hall window.

To be a Na'vi, what a dream. Browse these lands without worrying about anything. Flying on the back of an Ikran. To jump, climb, run in Pandora. Breathe its air. What would you give to be able to do so. What would you give to finally live.

To take your mind off things, you immerse yourself in your studies. You always do that, anyway. There was this flower which, surprisingly, was curative for Human but toxic for the Na'vi.

You begin by taking various samples when the heavy door of the laboratory opens with a loud hiss. Spider comes in, a big silly smile on his face that quickly fades when he sees you. There's not a sound when your eyes meet and a duel begins.

You, wondering where he had been wandering again to come back this dirty. Him, probably thinking that you have no life to work all day like you do. As usual, his cheeks are bright red. Because of his running around all day, he always come back sweating bucket and looking like a crayfish. He looks away first to rush straight to his room, without a word. You chuckle bitterly.

Yeah, he really hates you.

It was several hours later that you decided to stop your activities. You had tried to waste as much time as possible on that damned plant but who were you trying to lie to. It was terribly pointless, brimming with boredom.

You didn't check to see what Spider was up to since he got here. You were hoping he had showered. At least the body. He had a habit of putting his dirty hands all over the lab. You complain but sometimes you wish he had his hands in your business. At least you two would talk. Even for something as simple as scolding him.

He was the only boy your age. You used to play as kids. But with years, you drifted apart. As soon as you were both fifteen, towards puberty, he left and preferred his adventures. Somehow, you can't blame him. You would have done the same if you could.

The lab was still quiet. Too calm, perhaps. Your mind wandered to the boy living here. How was he so quiet? Usually he enjoys jumping and running around. Maybe you're disturbing him? He's not used to you two being alone together in the lab. And since you don't talk to each other as much anymore, maybe he's embarrassed to go out?

It's silly, you live here and it's impossible to avoid someone on such a small base. You see each other constantly. Well, if he doesn't love you, there's nothing you can do about it. Despite your sadness. You smile weakly. It's that you two had fun when you were kids. You so wish you could talk to him without just asking about Norm or the team…

Ready to go back to your room, you check one last time that you've put the equipment away correctly before turning around. Your action barely started that your chest collides with someone's body. Your heart misses a beat.

You jump and step back, your lower back hitting the desk causing a whine of pain to escape from your throat. You close your eyes, catching your breath as your hand rests on your chest as if to stop your heart from breaking out. Has he been there long? He was waiting behind your back without saying anything? Why get so close to you?

"Spider!" you sigh. "Don't do that again, I almost had an attack…"

He stands in front of you, arms crossed high over his bulging chest and chin proud. Why is he standing like that? Who is he trying to impress? You look him up and down for a moment. He cleaned himself and he doesn't smell bad. He really showered ? That's a miracle. Your gaze must have been more insisting than you thought since he seems to curl up on himself, lowering his eyes to the ground.

"You uh… do you need anything?" you ask, calming your heartbeat still rapid after such a fright.

“Where's everyone? He asks. Of course he'd ask that.

You pass by him, towards the hallway of the dormitories. You don't show it but you are terribly uncomfortable talking to him. You're embarrassed ? You can't really pinpoint it.

-They're gone exploring a place. They should be back in a few days." you answer without looking at him.

Not a sound. Yet you know he's still there, in front of the desk, staring at you. What was he waiting for? He acted weird. Spider was surprising, it's the least you could say, but he's not one to sneak up on people. Usually he jumps on them screaming.

"You're alone ?" To this, you only respond with a hum.

You didn't expect the discussion to last this long to be honest. You who wanted him to talk to you so bad, were more uncomfortable than anything else.

Recently, you have memories of your childhood that come back when you look at him so you avoid his face as much as possible. It was last night, an old memory came back to you. The two of you, hiding under the bed. You were laughing for nothing. You must have been ten or eleven. You kissed before giggling like idiots.

"But Mike is in his room." you add. Even though he knew as well as you that meant you were alone.

You don't know why you remembered this moment. It was weird too, considering Spider was with Kiri now.

"Where did they go?

-I don't know, Spider. They went to explore somewhere."

It was as if he wanted to force the discussion. He followed you down the hall until you came to your bedroom door. He was behind you again. His chest inches from your back. You wondered for a moment why he seemed so attached to you.

"You uh… Do you want to come with us later? We're going to watch the eclipse and it's really beautiful so…

The face of the Sullys appears before your eyes like a distant memory. You try to unlock your room but the presence of the boy behind you stresses and disconcerts you.

"Thank you Spider, I'll consider it.

-Oh, you have something to do first? What are you working on?

You frown before finally turning to face him. He takes a few steps back noting your abusive proximity. His face was flushed but his eyes never left yours.

-I thought you weren't interested?

It's not that you thought, in fact, you were sure of it. He had told you himself that what you were doing was boring, several times. So you were rather surprised.

"It's just…" Finally, he sighs and doesn't finish his sentence. "We'd be really happy to spend time with you."

You had doubts on that. Neteyam is the portrait of his mother. He doesn't like humans. For him, you're an alien. Lo'ak probably doesn't know you. At least he must not have noticed your existence. You're just a regular scientist to him, like the dozens there already is.

Kiri only talks to you when she wants to see her mother. And even then, she usually asks her questions to Norm. Tuk has surely never seen you. Neytiri, her mother, doesn't like knowing her close to you and to 'sky people' in general.

And Spider, ah, Spider. Spider ignores you. He never asked you to leave the lab with him again since your 'separation'. The day he decided he wasn't your friend anymore.

"Oh really ?" It was ironic. And it was obvious.

Spider was embarrassed. Your fault, surely. But you had your reasons. You didn't give yourself the opportunity to think about it, but it had hurt you. Enormously. It's so hard to be in your position. The only child like you, your age, decided to cut you out of his life overnight.

You only have him. He's the only reference you have. You don't even know what human children look like! You wanted to grow with him, discover Pandora with him! But, hey, guess he doesn't want someone who can't even move. It's humiliating to think that the only young person of the same race as you, hates you. Would it have been the same on Earth? You would have been hated?

You spent years growing up alone, without friends. Because Norm isn't for sure close to a friend. He can be considered as your father figure but not someone you'd share your secrets with. When was the last time you played hide and seek ? When was the last time you played tag ?

You don't know, days, months and years are all blur in your mind. Everyday is the same. Days are mixing into each other.

"They don't really have opportunities to talk to you, so the eclipse is a good way to get to know each others. The Sully are really cool, you know.

Probably even nicer than you if he abandoned you for them. He's lying, too. Because there are plenty of opportunities here in the lab as you never move far. If they really wanted to talk to you, they would have.

-I can't walk in Pandora with my leg, Spider. You know it." your tone was harsh, wanting to make him realize just how little he knows of you now.

The truth is, you can walk. You can try to train your body to walk longer but you need to be accompanied to do so. You can't walk alone in the forest of Pandora. You can fall, you can get attacked, get lost. Anything. But nobody wants to help you. So you're stuck in the lab and the more you're stuck, the less you walk and you lose the habit of walking and your body weaken. It's a vicious circle, really.

Norm simply gives you an treatment and everyone call it a day. It's a sort of machine which massage your muscles to soften or muscle them or something. You don't do it anymore. So it's not important. You don't blame Norm, he's a busy man. He tells you to apply some cream to ease the pain, you don't do it either.

All of this to say, you won't go with him. Because there is high chance your leg will just give out before them and it'll be the most shameful event of your life. And since thinking is all you can do here, you'll think about it until your death. So it's a big no.

-But I thought you could still walk?

-But I thought I was 'too weak and broken' ?"

Spider is left speechless before you. Mouth gaping and searching his words. He said that to you multiple times as kids. Norm had told him you weren't, which was true. But Spider meant no harm by saying that as you'd always tell him he was 'stupid'. It was a fair exchange, really. Just two stupids kids nagging each other. So yeah, maybe you went really low on this one.

But you were hurt and you weren't kids anymore.

You already spent years alone, what's some more ? You could talk to him, tell him how you missed him, how you forgive him and go with him stare at the eclipse, but you don't. Instead, you widen the gap between you. Probably because you hate yourself so you want to ruin your own life, loving to be tortured. The door finally unlock before you.

You look at Spider one last time, offering him a tight lip smile and enters your room, closing the door shut behind you. You stay put beside the door, staring at your room mindlessly. You had no reasons to come here in the first place, but you wanted to escape him.

Glaring at your bed, you decide another nap would do you good. You just have to make the days pass by quicker so everyone come back and you're not alone with him anymore.

Sometimes, you wonder how they're doing on Earth. If it would have been better if you were there instead of Pandora. Because being on a beautiful planet like this one without being able to explore it and being considered an alien is pure torture. The worst is that you'll never get an avatar, it being too expensive. Or so the other scientists told you.

You'll just stay here, being the fragile human, weaker, smaller, with a shorter life.

Then you think about Spider: Why did he suddenly want to bring you outside ? Why did he want you to be with his friends ? Why did he even talk to you ? Why did he leave you ? And, finally, the question haunting you, would he do it again ?

Staring at the cream on your nightstand, you think putting some again wouldn't do harm. Just in case you want to try to walk outside. Just in case. Staring at your leg with your medicine smeared in your palm, you observe how it's all swollen. You poke it with your index, a mark is left.

You massage your sore muscle, asking yourself if this is really working or if that is only a placebo effect. Once everything is done, you place your legs beside each others and compare them. You chuckle humorlessly in seeing the size difference.

You'll never be able to explore Pandora.

When you were still a kid, Spider and you asked for a room with windows. Lot of them. This way, even past your curfew you'd still be able to see outside. Even though you had bunk bed, you were always finding a way to sleep on the ground to face outside.

Tomorrow, we'll go there, he'd say, I'll show you this tree, he'd say, Jake brought us there, he'd tell you. And he was always honoring his words and brought you everywhere.

For a while, it was perfect. Because as you were always walking, your legs were gaining muscle ! But Spider always wanted to go further and further and further to the point where he just couldn't take you with him.

You didn't understand at first because he always had time for you. He was having fun with his 'siblings', the sully, but he would still come back to the lab to play with you. But then he just stopped. When he was coming back to the lab, it was really late in the evening and he was out like a light.

Then he grew up and you went separate ways, he had his own room, you had yours. And no windows could be seen in yours. Because now, you hate looking outside.

You don't want to sleep, but you're bored and wants to pass the day. You walk mindlessly in circle, thinking of what you could do without leaving your room. At first, you try to paint, but you're quickly bored. You try to read a book but as you already read them multiple times, you're quickly bored, too.

You write, draw, try to sleep but you can't shake the uneasy feeling inside of you. Why did he come talk to you ? What does he want ? You're on your back, slotted comfortably between your cushions when you realize that your throat is dry.

You're thirsty. So you have to drink, outside of your room. You sigh, passing your hand on your forehead. You hope deeply Spider left because you seriously don't want to talk to him right now.

You get up without a sound, putting your ear against the door to see if someone's here. No sound, good. You rush straight to the kitchen like area. You're delighted when it is indeed confirmed that no one is inside.

No one is inside.

You should have checked before because outside the base, a few meters away from the windows, you see Spider, Kiri and Lo'ak sat on the grass laughing together. You tense, you turn your back to them, praying they don't see you.

You grab a glass of water at the speed of light, but too slowly as the heavy door of the base open. You drink it in one time, put it back on the counter and start leaving.

"Hi...! calls Kiri, embarrassed. She knew you were trying to leave, that's why she sounds sorry.

You freeze. You can't ignore her, she did nothing wrong. You'd just be mean. So you turn your head a little, smiling politely. Spider isn't here, nor is Lo'ak. You're reassured.

-Hi Kiri. Norm is not here at the moment but you have free access to the laboratory if you want. you recite, used to this same discussion.

-I know, Spider told me."

She was oddly embarrassed. Now it was starting to get really weird. First Spider and then Kiri? Why do they all look uncomfortable? Did you do something ? Do you have something on your face? Kiri was the kind of person to be quite frank with other. She wasn't mean by any ways, of course, not to you at least. She was simply honest. So you know something is up when she doesn't look you in the eyes.

You stare at the security displate on the door behind her to distract yourself, how in case of a fire the exit is in the common area, how the masks allowing you to breath the outside air can also filter the smoke.

And Kiri doesn't say anything, but the door open another time. Spider enters and you want to flee at the sight. You purse your lips, not knowing if the discussion was over or not. Kiri looked like she wanted to tell you something but she wasn't uttering a word. Is it rude of you to leave ?

You try to read the security displate again, extinguishers are a little everywhere on the base. Did a fire already start here ? It's possible, after all. Still, it seems impossible as every scientist here is cautious.

As you were engrossed in your reading, a shock-like launch take over your leg. You grit your teeth and frown, hoping no one notices. You hated being seen like this.

Especially in front of the Na'vi, in this case Kiri. The Omatikaya were strong, proud. You couldn't even stand for more than twenty/thirty minutes.

So you didn't like hanging out with the Sullys. They ran, jumped and played happily all over Pandora. When it was impossible for you to do so. But it was your planet, too.

Kiri clears her throat, giving a look to Lo'ak still outside in the grass. He was laughing. At you ? You don't know, but Kiri seemed to be asking him for help. Are you making her nervous ? Now, you feel bad. You didn't do anything, you don't want her to be uncomfortable to just talk to you.

You don't know where is Spider, you don't want to look for him. You just know he's in the room with you.

-By the way, tonight we're all going to observe the eclipse so I thought you could come? I'm sure you'd have a lot of fun. she tried to sound casual but his words sounded fake, as if repeated. Why is she offering you to come? You're not even friends. Did Spider ask her to do so?

-Thank you Kiri, Spider already offered to me. I think I'll pass my turn. There will always be other eclipses in the future. you stay silent, analyzing her body language. Is there... A problem ?

Kiri shakes her head, assuring you that everything's fine. But you can't believe her when they've been acting so strange. Did Spider talk about you to her ? And if yes, why? And what did he say ?

The three of you are staring at each other in utter silence. Your two interlocutors deeply uncomfortable and getting fidgety. Kiri gives you a tight lip smile, as if she knew how weird and awkward the whole situation was. As if she's giving you support.

You then stare at Spider, who you tried to forget a few minutes ago. Maybe he could answer your confusion as he seems to be the one linking everything together. He smiles at you, cheeks once again bright red. Eywa, this is just too embarrassing.

"I'll have to go back to my room so..." you say, already backing off, thumb pointing toward your fleeting.

You don't 'have' to go back but you really want to avoid this mood. You might die from embarrassment in being stared at by two people without them talking.

Your leaving awake Kiri. She almost scream at you to wait and you halt in your track, startled by her sudden outburst. You think she is blushing, terribly uncomfortable, but it's hard to tell as her skin is blue. But it look like it's now a little more purple. Truly fascinating.

-I think Spider wanted to show you something. Right Spider ? Kiri exclaims, staring insistently at the boy sitting on a high chair a few feet away from you.

-Me ? No, why ?

-I'm sure you do, come on, I know you remember…" Kiri gritted her teeth, glaring at the boy. She was almost desperate, wanting him to help her out of the hole she was digging.

What is happening ? What are they talking about ? Something to show you ? Is that why Spider been so weird to you since this morning ? Why didn't he just showed it to you? He doesn't have to ask Kiri for help.

-I don't think that is... he's cut off by the cold tone of Kiri.

-Spider...

With the death glare she sent him, he quickly stood up away from the chair. He looks behind him, to the window, Lo'ak smiles at him. Why isn't he just coming in ? Why is he just laughing at everything going on ? Is this an inside joke ? You don't find it funny. Are they making fun of you ?

Spider walks up to you, step by step while Kiri back off. He clears his throat, that's when you notice he's hiding something in the pit of his hand.

-I did… well, no. I found, yeah, I found that and kinda thought about you, well, about your behavior ? But, uh, so I took it. he lifts his hand to your, a bracelet in his palm. Here. you frown.

-You found a bracelet already made? Isn't it just someone else's bracelet ?

How, in this huge and vast forest, did he even find it ? And what does he even mean by your behaviour ?

-No, I...

-You could get in trouble Spider, you should try to see if someone lost it.

You were worried because even thought Spider tried to remove you from his life, you were still scared for him. He was a human, he wasn't accepted in the Omaticaya tribe. If one of the Na'vi found out he 'stole' something, he'll be done for. He's been mean to you, but you know he doesn't deserve to be alone.

And why is Kiri cheering him up. Isn't she supposed to tell him it's bad ? Is she trying to sabotage him? No, she wouldn't do that. Well, she doesn't really look like she'd be mean anyway.

Kiri rolls her eyes and shakes her head. You don't understand.

-Seriously Spider, you should put it back where you found it. you insist.

He closes his eyes shut and sigh. Head going low. He looked frustrated and embarrassed. You noticed that Kiri walked away to leave you two more privacy. You preferred when she was closer.

-Okay, maybe I... didn't find it.

This make no sense. He did it himself ? Someone gifted it to him ? In both case, it's nice. So why would he lie to you on something like this ? What's got into him today ?

-Why would you lie to me ? on something like that, that is. It's just a small bracelet, nothing to be lying for.

-Listen, I... I made it. For you. Kiri helped. Please, come with us watch the eclipse tonight. The Sully want to meet you.

Meet you? But you're here. You never go far. They already met you. What is this about ? Is this bracelet a simple gift or something with a deeper meaning ? You know Na'vi have certain traditions, like gift giving to court a mate. But you're not his mate and Spider isn't really a Na'vi, still, he lives like one.

But most importantly, aren't Kiri and Spider together ? Are you misinterpreting things ? Surely. Because why would he starts to court you after avoiding you for years ? When he's already in a relationship! Is he trying to reconnect with you? Or he simply realized that you're the only one to be of the same race as him and he has no other choice.

It's sad but it's a truth. He can't mate with a Na'vi, he doesn't have an avatar. You're his only choice. But you don't want to be the last option. You don't want him to choose you just because you're the two only humans. You'd rather see him ignore you for years again.

-So? Will you come ?

-I don't think.... You start but he cuts you off.

-Why ? I'll carry you on my back if you want ! You want to roll your eyes at the ridiculous aspect of it all.

-Why are you insisting so much Spider ?

-I'll even give you foot massage !

-Ew! You and Kiri exclaim in unison. Spider smiles at your reactions and without really realizing it, you lightly smile as well.

-I swear you'll have fun. Please." he asks you one last time.

So you accepted. Because you realized that you still wanted to be his friend. Because you miss his company. Because Spider is who he is. Because you want to go out desperately.

And that's how you find yourself standing nervously before the Sully in the middle of the forest hours later. The suns barely start to leave the sky, one of them being hidden by the clouds.

Lo'ak greeted you awkwardly while Tuk jumped at the idea of meeting someone new. Neteyam wasn't here with them, it made you feel less stressed as he's the one who scares you the most.

They soon started strolling around with their giant legs, quickly out-speeding you and Spider.

The tree siblings were walking ahead of you, far ahead. Jumping and laughing. But Spider was beside you, smiling. Like the old times. A wave of sadness, nostalgia and shame hit you. You don't even know why you're ashamed. He told you he wanted you to be here. Still, you feel like he forces himself to be kind to you.

"You can speed up, I'm just behind.

-Can't I stay here ? He shrugs while smiling happily.

Well, yes, of course he can. It was just an offer. You shrug, letting him do his own choices.

-It's been a while since our last discussion, I don't want to leave you alone."

Again, you thought. And you think he thought it too by his apologetic look. Is it too late for a new friendship to bloom ? Has time passed too quickly ? You're both adults now. But you still have this feeling pulling at your chest each time you see him. Knowing damn well things didn't end correctly between you.

Your good leg hit against a root on the ground and you lose your balance. Spider is quick to grab your hand to prevent you from falling.

You feel so bad for always needing someone. But you also feel angry. Because it's fun reducing to always need someone company to just walk. You know Spider wants to ask you if you're okay, still, he doesn't. And you really appreciate it.

"So? That flower you've been studying? he asks instead, letting go of your hand slowly, as if he didn't really want to.

You frown at his choice of conversation subject. Spider is not one to like science, at all. It's intriguing because that mean he watched you work for far longer than you thought to know what you were working on.

Then why didn't he just talk to you? Instead of hiding himself behind your back waiting for you to turn around.

-It's progressing. I think we can make medicinal meals for humans with it. It's really interesting.

You didn't want to talk much about it since you knew Spider would be bored pretty quickly. But if he was, he was hiding it damn well because you couldn't see anything but his fond smile.

-That's cool. He says. Tell me more.

You were surprised to say the least. Because never had Spider ask you to explain your works to him.

-Are you sure ? You asked doubtfully

-Well, yeah!"

And he was so excited to hear you that a warm feeling enveloped your heart. You started explaining every progress you made in the past few months, not sparing any details. You knew he didn't understand things sometimes but you were happy to explain it to him more clearly.

Often, you'd have to stop to escalate a fallen tree or some high places but Spider was always eager to help you. Sometimes, the Sully would look back at you two and smile.

At first, you thought that Kiri would join your conversation but maybe she knew you two needed this talk. You were old friend trying to reconnect and she was kind enough to let you have this. She never looked like the jealous type anyway.

When you finished your story, you asked Spider about his dailies activities and he was happy to indulge.

And without really understanding how you made it, you were now on his back while he was walking proudly towards his friends. Honestly, you knew Spider was somewhat of a muscular guy but you'd never thought it was possible for him to carry you for so long like he did.

And when you arrived, you thought he'd be quick to set you on the ground but he didn't. He kept you on his back as long as he could. You just wanted to enjoy your old friend's company, stay in the illusion that nothing ever changed.

The view was really beautiful. A calm place on the edge of the void. Ikran were flying down there, some mounted by omaticaya, other simply loving their freedom. You could see all the floating island from here. And of course, the suns.

Surprisingly, you weren't feeling too tired, yet. Spider was still talking to you but your face on his shoulder, the warmth of his body and the comfort of it all before the beautiful view of Pandora was enough to put you in a trance.

Eventually, when you met the stare of Kiri, you forced yourself to get off him. Because you didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

Your hand wipe away the few water drops on your mask. It's a little frisky out there, but it feels good.

As everyone was laying on the ground excitedly, you sat at the far right of the siblings, leaving a polite space between you. But the space quickly was filled by Spider's body plopping beside you. He smiles, you can't give him the same kindness, mind full of questions.

Why are you here ? Because as much as the scenery is nice, you're not close no any of the people who 'invited' you. What was the plan in making you come here ?

Spider's hands which lay flat on the ground support him, his arms behind his back. He's almost laying down.

"Don't fall asleep." he tells you but you have no idea why he told you that as you're wide awake.

Maybe he's just trying to be nice, trying to be polite and make you feel included. You don't mind it. You're sure this whole rendez-vous together is a one time thing that you'll never do again. So you're fine with it.

Even if you're disappointed. Because you love going out in Pandora.

You concentrate on staring at the scene before you instead of sulking. It was really pretty, you never saw something so beautiful before. Because the last time you went out, you were young and had a strict curfew. You never got to watch the beauty of the nightfall.

Soon, every plants and living beast should light up. You already notice the freckles on the siblings body become clearer. You smile softly. You feel good, at peace. You could stay here forever. It's like you're finally connected to Eywa.

The suns are moving slowly and you're hypnotized by them all, a smile pulling at your lips.

Even if lost in your trance, movements from your left grabs your attention. Spider's thigh is suddenly pressed against yours. You search for his eyes, to see any emotion or reaction explaining you his behaviour but his eyes are solely staring at the sun before you. Why did he move so much closer ?

You shrug, thinking that you're cold anyway and a little of human warmth won't do harm. So you ignore his shenanigans, opting to concentrate fully on the sight. You're lucky to live on such a pretty planet. Even when now, it's a foot that set itself under your leg, taking you once again away from your thoughts.

"Spider?" you ask this time.

Because his foot slided under your sick leg and as it's a somewhat private part of you, you're surprised by the contact. Spider looks at you and smile, his head falling on his shoulder as he held every star of the night in his eyes. Even through the mask, you could see how prettily shiny they were.

You never saw him so comfortable, but when you really think about it, you can't remember much of the time you spent together. It was so long ago. Maybe he was comfortable like that with you before.

Frowning, you stare at your now tangled legs. This is getting weirdly intimate. Just this morning, he was avoiding you like death and now he's craving physical attention? But when you look into his eyes, you can't find any answers.

It's not new, though. You remember when you were little, you were always asking yourself; What is he thinking ? He always has been unpredictable and impossible for you to decipher.

But you stay still, letting him do his things. Because you missed all of this.

"Where is Earth ?" asks Tuk to one of her siblings.

You realize it's the first time you hear them talk and remember their presence. Lo'ak is the one to answer. He points to a really really far star in the sky and you follow his direction. Earth ? That's where you come from ? You're sure it's beautiful out there, too.

Feeling confidence running through his veins, Spider finally glides his hand to lay it on yours, putting his fingers between yours on the ground.

"Do you think there is a deity like ours on Earth?" asks Kiri and your blood run cold.

Kiri, Spider's lover. She's just beside you. You hope she did not see that. You forgot they were together. As if an electricity shock cross your body from head to toe, you push his hand away and move your leg out of his hold, in your rush, you hit it against the ground and whimper.

Spider try to touch your leg, probably worried about your health but you don't want him to touch you anymore.

"What are you doing ? you ask, throwing worried glances to Kiri who wasn't looking. He halts his hand in the air before retracting it silently.

-I... Nothing. Sorry." he's deeply confused. But you are more.

His head turns in the opposite direction of your, his body language telling you he's terribly tense. What is he doing ? Why was he all over you ? What the hell was that ?

Is he seriously flirting with you? When Kiri is barely one person away from you ! He probably doesn't know you're aware of his relationship with her and is trying to get in your pants. Thinking that hurt your heart deeply. Staring at him nervously wrapping his fingers around the plants, you're not so sure he's a cheater.

No, you conclude. He would never play with her heart like this.

But he changed with years. He was a man now. Maybe he wasn't the Spider you used to know, after all. No, you need to stop imagining things. You just need to talk to him, understand his thoughts. Spider is nice. He probably changed but not like this. You can't even force yourself to believe Spider would be a bad person.

The rest of the eclipse, you didn't get to enjoy it as much as you wanted. Too preoccupied by your boiling mind. And soon, it was already time for everyone to get back home.

Your little group stands up, the siblings and Spider talking excitedly together. Spider was still by your side though. You were thankful that even despite the awkward situation you two were in minutes prior, he was still making sure you weren't being left out.

After some time, you noticed that Spider wasn't trying to be part of the conversation anymore, his steps were slowing down. He tentatively looked at you and your eyes met his.

"Are you mad at me ? he finally asks.

-No. You say, because you truly were not. Just confused.

-Confused about what ? I thought I was pretty clear back there.

-Your intentions were indeed pretty clear, don't worry about that. I just... It's really low of you to do that with Kiri just beside us.

-What does Kiri have to do with this?

You hate that he's playing dumb. And you get more frustrated the more you're talking to him. By now, you two stopped walking, standing in the middle or the forest without moving.

-I don't like you playing with her. You should stop.

Spider's eyes widen, he steps back a little, looking agape. His lips forms words but no sound come out of it. Why is he so surprised ? Isn't it logical for him to settle to one person ? Why does he look like he just got a world's revelation ?

-You thought I mated with Kiri ? asks Spider in a voice so high pitched you're sure the whole forest heard.

The three siblings before you stops in their track and look at you two, surprised faces on all of them before Lo'ak burst out laughing hearing your conversation, as well as Tuk.

There is a long silence between you and the boy only disrupted by the never stopping laugh of the two omaticaya. The girl approaches you slowly. You feel so stupid, you might die from shame. He wasn't playing dumb, the two really weren't together.

Spider turns pale. Kiri looks him up and down before pretending to vomit.

-What ? Me ? With this thing? she says, disgust lacing her words.

You want someone to bury you seven feet under ground.

-Same thing for me ! Spider screams. Everyone, but her!

-He is literally the spitting image of Lo'ak! Why would I mate with him?

-I… I don't know. I always see you guys stuck together so I figured…

You now realize how stupid your reasoning looks. Yes, they spend lot of time together, but so do a family.

-She's not even funny ! She's the worst person to be with !

-Shut up !" Kiri says, pushing Spider strongly. The boy manages to impress you by not moving a lot despite the strength of the Na'vi girl by his side.

Seeing their bother sister dynamic, you instantly knew that they weren't lying. You even wonder how you could ever think of them as a couple.

You feel a lot better knowing Spider was still kind. And knowing you did not betray Kiri. Relief flood in you. Maybe your boy is still as kind as before.

Lo'ak, Kiri and their little sister then decided to head back home after accompanying you to the lab. Tuk was tired, she was being carried on her brother's back while Kiri was in her own head. Spider was much more awake. He was eagerly talking your ear off about some of his craziest adventures with the Sullys.

For a moment, you were at peace.

You had your old friend back, new people next to you who, you hope, you'll soon be able to call friends. The thought of the discussion you and Spider would definitely have later wasn't even plaguing your mind. You were having fun. It was perfect.

As soon as you arrived back at the lab, apprehension was all you could feel. What if it's the last time you see them ? What if they don't want to be your friends ?

They dropped you off at the entrance of the base. Tuk was still sleepy and she mumbled something along the line of 'Goodnight' before going back to her asleep state.

You thanked them, told them you had a great night and they started to leave, not before some farewells.

Lo'ak whispering a 'good luck bro' to Spider which you clearly heard despite him trying to be quiet, he gave him a pat on the back before stepping back. Kiri smiles at you softly then sticks out her tongue at Spider with a teasing look.

As much as this whole scene was cute, your leg was starting to hurt and you needed to sit down quickly before losing your balance.

You wave at the Sully, finally watching their back heading to their home. You're sleepy, but something is preventing you from really falling asleep right then and there: You still have questions.

If he's not with Kiri, that means he was flirting with you. Crafting you a bracelet, wanting you to spend the rest of the day with him, trying to be skin to skin against you; that's flirting, right ? That's what they do in books anyway.

Spider opens the heavy door of the lab for you, you wait for the air to be cleaned before taking off your mask. You hurry to find a seat nearby. What is it now ? Are you friends ?

There is no sound in the whole lab and the mood stresses you. You're alone with him, you can't ignore the awaiting conversation you'll eventually have. Spider grabs a glass of water that he set on the table for you to drink.

You thanks him lowly. He sits on a chair on the other end of the table, facing you. He taps his nails on his chair nervously while you avoid his gaze by staring at your shoes.

"So..." he starts.

Your heart's beating quicken because you don't know what to expect. You're scared. But knowing that Spider is as frightened as you reassures you at the same time.

"Did you have fun ? Tonight ?

-Yeah, it was nice. The sky was pretty. Thank you.

-Cool, cool. It's nice to know."

Spider scratch his head, eyes boring holes into the ground. But he stopped his movements and sighs, brows frowning and creating a crease on his forehead.

"I'm an idiot. He resumes. I don't know why I left you. He stays silent for a while, you let him find his word, desperately wanting to hear his point of view. I guess I was scared. Maybe even ashamed.

Ashamed ? Ashamed of you ? This conversation will really end you if he continues this way.

-Scared because... I don't want you to like me just because I'm your only option. I was scared to think I liked you just because you were the only kid my race I've ever known. At your frown, he smiles bitterly. Yeah, I like you. But now I'm sure it's not because we're the only two human the same age.

You're stunned. Astonished, even. Your mouth is mid open, your eyes are wide. You stopped breathing a few seconds ago. Is he joking ? How does Spider, the guy who stopped talking to you years ago, confesses his love to you? How is he asking the same questions you asked yourself times and times again ?

-And ashamed because I don't want to be human anymore. I want to be a Na'vi, an omaticaya. A true one ! And you, the lab, are reminding me of who I really am. I guess I didn't like that. A long silence spaces his confession, you trying to process everything and him, searching his words. But at the same time, back then I thought that as long as you were with me, I wouldn't mind staying human, you know? But it's a lot of thoughts in a fifteen years old's mind and I just panicked, I guess.

Tears are quickly filling your eyes, you're speechless. You've been waiting for him to explain himself for so long and finally it was happening. You want to cry because it's the first time someone is openly telling you about their emotions, you want to cry because you have no choice but to confront your own emotions now. But you don't know how to handle them. You wipe aggressively your eyes, trying to make it look like you got something in it, you know Spider is not believing it but you still try to hide.

He'd stay human for you ?

-I have no excuses. I'm just an idiot. You never deserved to be left alone. And...And It's okay if you're a little broken because you're wonderful. It balances out. He says on a lighter note at the end.

And his silly confession made you smile. As stupid as it sounded. Because how is this his first words after years of mutual avoidance ? He just can't be serious. You're overwhelmed, you thought this day was going to be like every other day. None of this was planned. You don't know how to react.

-You won't forgive me right away, I know it. But I'm ready to wait. I'm... Kiri taught me how to sew. I-I can sew you clothes, jewelry, even a shawl. And I'm much stronger now, I can bring you everywhere. I'll make you visit lot of pretty places. I'll carry you.

You don't like that his offer is so tempting to you. Because you would have liked to make him wait, make him understand how hurt you are. As selfish as that sound, you just wanted for him to sympathize.

-Not even in a romantic way, we-we can just be friends, just like before. It'd be really nice.

Yes, it'd really be nice. You don't want to wait anymore. You missed him, your friend, so much.

-Why today ?

-What ?

-Why did you choose to come see me today? What pushed you to do so?

He chuckles, crossing his arms on his chest and staring at the ground.

-Lo'ak and Kiri forced me. Because I've actually been crafting you things for years but never gave them to you. He lacked courage. But they thought I did. They discovered it somehow and started reproaching it to me and told me that if I did not come talk to you to apologize, they would do it themselves.

Really now ? You're curious? Why has he been crafting you so much ? Okay, you think. You're ready to open your heart a little bit, just for him. But not entirely ! He has to work for it. He has to wait a little as well. Because, well, he never forgot about you. And that's enough for you to let your guards down.

You'll have to thank Lo'ak and Kiri next time you see them at the lab. You owe them.

-So ? Can I have another chance?"

#spider soccoro #spider soccoro x reader #spider socorro x you #spider socorro #avatar fanfiction #avatar #avatar the way of water #spider socorro sully #avatar spider #spider socorro x gn reader #vitzi9writings

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strawhatsoraya · 2 years

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Hiii! <3 So.. I wanna preface this by saying: OMG, I love your writing and I love reading your reblogged posts and quotes and I really hope that at some point I manage to write as beautifully as you do! The language just flows and.. .sighs I wish I'd say I was better at writing in my native language but I feel like that would be a lie. ANYHOW… may I request something…? Ace with a female reader, who feels bad for being a bit chubby? Just, like, you know, not the typical One Piece-hot-woman-figure, but perhaps (in her mind) a bit too much booty, too thick thighs, a too soft belly and (the only thing she's a bit happy with) quite decent breasts? But, baseline, is convinced that a hottie such as Ace would never ever consider her to be attractive. (What? Me? Self-inserting? Noooo. I'd NEVER. I totally don't think my PhD studies ruined my body worse than I'd like to admit. *coughs*) Could be fluffy. Or NSFW... which would make me especially happy. <3 If you feel up for it, of course!

Either way, I needed to tell you that I love scrolling through your new posts :D

I keep meaning to ask you what's your native language? I speak and write Spanish as well but my spelling, and grammar in Spanish is muy terrible. So I'm sure you're just fine lol. Anyway, so I know this was supposed to be a "reader doesn't think ace will find her attractive" and somehow it became a "two idiots don't know what they're doing or talking about" slow burn. I promise you I wrote it with my whole heart though. *does silly dance* AND IT'S NSFW. This fic consumed my mind for this whole day and I needed it to be done ASAP because otherwise I couldn't live. I hope you enjoy it!! Also you are absolutely the sweetest person ever. I'm so so so SO happy you love my writing. Your kind words and feedback are the best. Plus you're just so fun to talk to. BUT LET ME STOP BABBLING. HERE'S YOUR FIC.

ACE X CHUBBY FEM!READER | NSFW, Soft Smut ™, Slow Burn Babeyyy WORD COUNT: 9k (i have nothing to say for myself) CONTENT WARNING: alcohol consumption (because I am sora and I am a grown woman who likes to write about alcohol), profanity (not a lot but enough), angst galore, a sprinkle of fluff because it's cute decorations, unprotected sex (when will they learn???), groping, sloppy kisses because ace is passionate and means well but he is also eager, that being said oral female receiving with some sloppy head, nipple play, plenty of ass grabbing, biting, ace talks way too much for his own good, he is silly and just says things, and it might be embarrassing but that's just how he is, you know i love my repeating themes so if you hate that please stay away!!, is a hurricane/storm a warning? then yes, i guess dangerous time to be partying and having sexy but these are pirates, handjob, what else?, oh jealous ace is amazing, also flirty marco because i love marco sue me A SUMMARY: Ace comes aboard the Moby Dick, fire in his fists, fire in his eyes. Y/N wants to know his reason for fighting, but curiosity is a beast of a burden, and when feelings get swept up in the heat of his storm, Ace has to make a choice between reason and his heart.

I - A Disturbance : Wind & Fire

You were born in summer heat. Your mother's arms welcomed you into her world, sticky with sweat but full to the brim with love. Her plush lips against your temple, baptize you with a kiss. You grow, not like a palm tree all spindly trunk and leafy green top, but like a wild hibiscus tree; small and closely rooted to the ground with bushy branches covered in small leaves reaching out to the horizon. Like the Hibiscus, you dance in the wind, laughter trailing behind you. In your hair, its red flower entangles in curls. The sparkling water of the beach is always warm when you swim it. Your mother grows weary of warning you about the currents, and the treacherous waves. Eventually she gives up, names you her little mermaid, and braids beads into your hair that sparkle in the sun. Despite your mother's warnings you always find yourself there, at the cliff by the sea.

He is born in secret. He's born because there's nothing left. A mother's dying wish whispered into the soft spot on his head, to a dark curl who can't remember the words. In time, he runs as fast as his legs can carry him, through forests, creeks and mud. On the creak of the branches under his feet he tries to find that elusive promise; words he had sworn he never heard but somehow left a gaping hole. Sometimes he thinks he hears them in the howling wind. Sometimes he only feels it on the heat of his skin, when the sun is blistering hot above him. Heart torn in two, he always finds himself there, on a cliff looking out at the sea.

Like a Siren, it calls to them. On the horizon, the sun blinks as it sinks under the water, a fading beacon. The wind whips around their shoulders, tussling their hair with heated fingers. In their ears it whispers: come find me, I've been waiting.

You leave to the sea, as your mother always feared. She's inconsolable at the dock. You laugh to keep from crying, and wipe away her tears with the back of a small hand. She makes you promise to look out for yourself. Don't dive into the sea, she warns you with furrowed brows. Don't be impulsive. Don't head straight into storms. They forgive no one. You brush her worries aside with a kiss on her temple, before you bolt aboard the ship.

Several adventures later, you're aboard the Whitebeard Pirates ship. You offer your knowledge and skills in medicine; pair it with a big bright smile and hope for the best. Lady Luck favors you, beckons you with curling fingers. Another nurse is just what their ship needed—at least for now. Marco takes good care of you. He is patient, and kind. He is also easy on the eyes. It doesn't take long before you're being saddled with responsibilities.

You try your best, thinking your experience in wound care is your strongest skill among a ship of pirates. You did not share their strength, and undying courage but you did have wit, and you have a sharp tongue. You wielded them when necessary, the edge of your words a sharp scalpel. If you throw your words out fast enough, hard enough to kick up some dust they might not call you on your bluff. Compared to them, you couldn't help but feel like a soothing passing wind; barely noticed before you were gone, no impact, no trace left behind.

His entrance is violent, and eruptive. His presence disturbs the way of things, sending invisible critters scattering to seek refuge. You think you feel suffocating heat when you first see him. Portgas D. Ace is a forest fire at full flame, determined to devour everything, before you even noticed a spark. His eyes incinerate everything he glares at, thick brows furrowed together for so long you fear they are glued that way. Where his crew seemed agreeable even, accepting of their fates, he grew more restless by the day. You had to admire his tenacity. The sheer force of destruction his willpower possessed was alluring; dangerously seductive.

When he tries to take Whitebeard down for the 11th time, Marco is sick of it, and delegates you to the task. You swallow thickly, avoiding his gaze. You think Ace must not be a man of many words, as conversation is clipped and forced. It was just as well. The task was distracting enough. You try to remind yourself to keep your fingers moving as they brush over his skin when you apply antiseptic to gashes on his chest. He hisses, forcing your eyes up and away from the freckles you had been counting. His eye are dark pools that pull you into their depths, so deep you think they're bottomless. In your mind, your mother's warning echoes.

Don't dive into the sea.

You blink, and look away, feeling heat spread across your cheek; splotches of shame kept in secret. You try to focus instead, on the gauze on your hand, the warmth of his body under your fingers when you press it against his open wounds. You look up through your lashes when you apply pressure, wondering if a day would come when he didn't seem so closed off—so intriguingly unavailable. His jaw is set, teeth clenched so tightly all the time, you had half a mind to inspect his molars for cracks. His eyes flicker towards you and you pretend to inspect the bruise on his temple. You press a tentative finger against it, wondering if you could dip your fingertips into his thoughts that way. When he flinches, you move back to the gauze, wrap his wounds with soft bandage.

Your hands on his chest, you feel heat radiate from him, feel his heart beating steadily underneath. A heart never lied, each beat a tell tale sign. You try to listen closely to each secret told in a pulse against your palm.

Don't be impulsive.

You were never good at listening to your mother. Your mouth was quicker than your mind; traitorous and vile.

“Why do you keep fighting, if you can't win?” you ask him, slapping the bandages for good measure; assuring they stick, and assuring your message goes through. Ace flinches, and reaches for your wrist. His grip is strong, thick fingers wrapping around the width of your wrist. For a fleeting moment, you know you should fear him. You have seen what he's capable of, but the heat from his hand melts away all preconceived notions.

“Sometimes,” he says blinking down at you. His brows are furrowed together—they always are. You see his adam's apple bob up and down as he swallows. His thumb brushes once against the inside of your wrist. You think you hear a call—someone shouting from the sea. “Sometimes, you fight anyway. If it means protecting people you care about.” He lets you go, and you instinctively pull back, bringing your arm to your chest. He watches you fuss over your wrist momentarily before closing his eyes. He looks pained, and before you can offer him painkillers he's speaking again: “Maybe it's all I know how to do.”

II – The Depression : A Flickering Flame

He didn't mind at first, but now it felt like he shouldn't be there.

He shouldn't be sitting on the edge of the thin mattress of the nurses station. He shouldn't stand still when your short fingers tentatively palpated his injuries. He shouldn't watch you, like a seagull over water, searching—praying, as your teeth sank into the plushness of your bottom lip.

There was so much he should and shouldn't do, he no longer could keep it together. Ignoring you seemed like the right decision. It should have been easy. You were the enemy, if he wanted to be fastidious about it. A member of the Whitebeards Pirate was just someone else standing in the way of his goal. Most of all, his pride couldn't stand it. It couldn't stand the disappointed look in your dark eyes, and the way your mouth would twist into a little smirk when he would walk in. It couldn't stand the way you would immediately retract from him at the slightest hint of discomfort, how you would look at him like he was a wounded bird, wings teared at the joints, unable to fly again, sentenced to death.

It was pride that kept his mouth sealed shut. It was pride that stapled his tongue to the roof of his mouth. He wished pride would leave him blind instead. He wished to not notice how soft your hands are, how small and cute your hands were against his chest. He wished to not notice how he becomes disgustingly interested in your short chubby fingers, and wonders what kind of reaction he'd get if he could nibble on one or two. He wished to not notice how obsessive his thoughts are over the appearance of your skin; golden, and glowing on the apples of your cheek—how soft they looked. He wished he didn't think about it at night, when darkness wrapped her arms around him tightly. He wished he didn't think about your lashes, the look you give him through them that fills his mind with smoke.

Racing thoughts, and a racing mind. It took everything in him to keep them quiet. Your voice is soft when you speak, and his lips part, a beating heart trying to scream but no sound comes out. His cheeks feel hot, and he swallows awkward conversation prompts down. He chooses, instead, to fix his thoughts on something else, something more urgent: like how to defeat Whitebeard.

He simply couldn't afford to dawdle with you. Ace never thought twice on taking on a challenge, but you were a chasm he couldn't bring himself to jump across. If he missed, the fall could be deadly. He blinks when you speak again, your eyes fixated on his face. Ace quirks his left brow, and thinks he's offended you. He wants to speak quickly, heart beating against the sinew and bone keeping it prisoner, but the words tangle in his throat.

The door creaks open, and Marco walks in. You look away from Ace and smile at Marco, before forcing two round white pills into the crook of Ace's palm.

“Make sure you take those,” you tell him, as you force his fist closed. “You hit your head pretty good.” You reach up to rap your knuckles against the side of Ace's head lightly. “Gotta try to save whatever brain cell's are left fighting for their lives in there.”

Marco laughs as you stand up. Ace hears you chuckling lightly, as it grows into laughter. He takes a sharp breath through an open mouth, watches you as you turn to look at him over a shoulder.

He wishes pride would hurry the fuck up and blind him. He wishes it so bad, he crushes the pills in his fist into dust.

The sight of your ass stretching the nurse's uniform fills him with a heat he's not very familiar with. It settles at the pit of his stomach, and he stares at the door even after you leave. It isn't until Marco speaks that he brings himself back to the present.

“Why don't you join, Ace?” Marco asks, as he settles on the stool you were sitting on moments prior. Ace frowns down at it, annoyed at his thoughts—he wondered if it was still warm, and he hated that Marco would know the answer. “You know, it's not a bad deal. He treats us like his sons. We're all a little lost out here, kid. You don't have to be alone.”

Ace scoffs, mouth twisted into a crooked smile. He tilts his head as he watches Marco, trying to swallow the bitterness in the back of his mouth. His heart lurches, and he shuts his eyes. If he closes them tightly enough, perhaps the hopeless dream will go away. He never had a father figure, and never needed one. It was a lie he recited at night; a prayer to a faceless God.

“I don't need a father,” he mumbles at last, picking at a string on one leg of his shorts. Marco laughs. Ace looks up, frown back in place.

“Maybe, maybe not,” Marco agrees, reaching up to rub the back of his head. “But why don't you try? What do you got to lose? It's not like you have any manners.” Ace begins to protest but Marco's laughter caught him off again. “And you might learn how to properly talk to a lady.”

Ace thinks his head might start catching fire. He pats his hair quickly.

“I don't need any help with that!” he says loudly, an elbow digging into a thigh as he leans forward to scowl at Marco.

“Oh, yeah?” Marco says trying to keep his laughter at bay. His smile is crooked, and insufferable. “Is that why you looked like a fish gaping for air when I walked in? Very convincing.”

Just when Ace thinks there is no way he could be more embarrassed, he feels his blush deepening, freckles almost obfuscated. He promises Marco to think about it, and he does his best, but thoughts of you plague him afterward. Your laughter that carried in the wind to him, the way it felt like it sank into his scars, the way it burned and made new ones in return.

III – A Simmering Storm

The needle on his back, sinks into his skin time and time again, embedding ink to stay forever. It is liberating, in a sense, marking himself with a brand of his own choosing. So much unlike the one stamped upon him at the time of his birth; the son of a monster, a nuisance, someone not worthy of the space they took up in the world. No longer did he have to search for reason, or an excuse. Ace could simply be, and he welcomed his newfound drop of happiness with a toothy grin.

A celebration at him joining the ranks, and being able to be commander of the second division seemed a bit over the top but he liked merriment—and the food and alcohol was too enticing. The darkening clouds in the distance threatened to dampen his mood, and the crowd on the deck of Moby Dick. Murmurs spread the word of an oncoming storm but nobody seems particularly worried. The only thing on their mind is how fast they could drink and eat before they got rained out.

The only thing on your mind was the blooming ache in your chest. You try to soothe it with a hand, smearing your palm against your voluminous chest. The crop top is soft under your skin. You try to memorize this, instead of the radiant smile on Ace's face. He had never seemed so undoubtedly happy as he did now. A different feeling settled between your ribs, a pang so bitter it causes you to hiss. Jealousy was a monster you squashed down with angry fists every time you saw one of the nurses place a hand on Ace's bicep. You never thought you would have to beat it down into submission while picturing the face of your own captain.

You're happy for him, truly. You mutter to yourself, over and over, drink after drink. You're elated, even, that he has finally come to accept the bright side of things. You're happy that he has been given a position that you feel is well earned, one that you hope he can excel at.

You're happy for him. You really are.

You're so fucking happy it hurts to breathe. You force another deep breath into your lungs, the air is humid and the scent of rain floods your senses. You blink back the wetness in your eyes, and when Marco asks if you are okay you blame pollen. Marco tilts his head, but chooses not to pursue the subject. Instead, he swaps your empty cup with his. You barely notice. You're too busy thinking about where the sea will take Ace next.

Something in your chest seizes—panic, or fear. It rises like heat from the ground, a crackling electricity flying up through the stale air that keeps you trapped on the ground. You try not to move too much, you fear jostling your thoughts, fear that if they move too much—touch a certain way, sparks would fly, singing you to a crisp; charred and useless.

He is happy, truly.

It wasn't something he could have ever dreamed of or imagined. He smiles as people congratulate him. Alcohol tastes sweet on his heavy tongue. He barely tastes his food as he pummels it into his mouth. He pictures what it would be like, sailing away from this ship, to complete tasks he would be responsible for. He pictures what it would be like to tend to his own wounds, what it would be like to sit at whatever island he found, and not hear your laugh.

He is happy. He really is.

He's so fucking happy, he thinks he feels sick. It's not anxiety. Ace could never admit that. Anxiety over what? He did not fear death. He never had a good reason for living anyway. You could only fear death if you were bound to the living. Then what was binding him to this ship? It felt like a vortex, a cone ensnaring him and trapping him to his spot; a gust of wind that kept bringing him back to you, no matter how many times he moved around this damned ship.

He tries moving again, taking his mug of beer with him. You bump into him with your ass against his. He turns around, ready to pick a fight but sees your heated cheeks instead. You mumble an apology that he laughs off. His hand moves before he controls it, and he ruffles your hair—something he knows you loathe.

“I'm not a puppy,” you hiss, pursing your lips. Ace drinks quickly from his mug, to refrain from sighing.

“Then why do you look like one?” he asks you, and leaves through the crowd. You lose track of him quickly, and decide to stomp around on the spot. It was easier than to think about the way he had looked at you, and how it had set your face on fire.

You do your best to mingle. You notice he does the same, but you're never far from each other. It feels comical in a strangely annoyingly tragic way. When you squeeze between Thatch and Izou to refill your cup, your hand brushes against something warm. You follow the hand to see Ace's tattooed bicep. When your eyes meet, thunder splits the sky. You move quickly, wordlessly, determined not to see his face against for the rest of the night.

The sea has other plans. The ship begins to move more than usual, and your legs still not quite so strong, threaten to have you rolling over. You blame the alcohol of course, when you land on Izou's back. He steadies you with a tight smile as you giggle, and spins you in place trying to send you in the opposite direction but your eyes meet Ace's again. The ship lurches, and you stumble forward. His body is warm, and inviting, you giggle at the ridiculous situation—as people continue to bump into each other mid-party. You try to move again, but your legs betray you. His arms hold you up, and brings you closer to him. Your body is soft against his, plush and delightful. You look up at him with a tiny small, eyes hazy from the alcohol, and Ace swears he hears the sky split open.

You're on your way again before he can say anything else. It was probably for the best. He loses track of how much he drinks. He could still feel his face, could still keep track of his thoughts—filled to the brim with you, and concludes he clearly hasn't drunk enough. He holds on to this as he grips the railing so tight, it cracks under his fingers at the sight of you with Marco.

Marco was so kind, and so friendly. His hands were soft around your waist. You know it was shameful, to giggle at all his silly little jokes, but the alcohol has you feeling weightless—for once. You almost don't feel the wind against your cheeks, you don't feel it whipping your hair around. You let Marco pull you closer, his hand pressed against the small of your back. It was better this way. It was better Marco than a ship sailing to a destination unknown.

He drops the mug of beer. It splashes on the deck, and he feels liquid splash against his knee. Ace clenches a fist as he moves, fire erupting from his knuckles before it swallows his hand whole. Drops from the sky grow heavier. They sizzle as they reach his wrist, little wispy vapor rising from the flames like warning flags. Ace breathes through his nose and wills himself to smother the flames. They die out by the time he reaches you, but there's a fire in his chest, flames behind his eyes he can't control.

The sight of Marco's hand very comfortable in the small of your back almost threatens to set him on fire again. Marco's mouth is so close to your ear, Ace thinks he must smell the lotion off your skin the same way he smelled it off you so many times before; the one that always drove him mad, who forced him to imagine tropical islands, to dream of coconuts and beaches, of you and sandy dunes. Your smile takes his breath away, and when he sees it's aimed at Marco it fills his lungs with lead instead. Your lashes flutter, and Ace sees a drop of water fall and cling to the apple of one your cheeks. He follows its path until it rolls off from your jaw.

As the last rays of light glints on the surface of it, a spark goes off.

His hand is around your wrist. Marco moves away slightly, only pulling away to look at Ace with a quizzical expression. His smile is frozen in place as he tries to assess the situation. He laughs, and naturally Ace feels like he should punch him in the mouth for it. Marco looks over to you, to pull a response from you when he begins to talk but your eyes are nowhere near on him. You are too focused on Ace's face instead.

You zone in on the arch of his left eyebrow, the narrowing of his dark eyes, the slight curl of his top lip. Rain starts pouring down. You watch rivulets of water streak down the side of his face. You try to breathe as he watches you, try not to think about his fingers wrapped around your wrist but you can't stop yourself from wanting to know. You want to know what it means. You want to decipher that look in his eyes, the dark clouds forming, the way you think you see lightning.

Your mother's words ring one more time. Don't head straight into storms.

A gust sweeps you off your feet, a dream so airy and full of promises you think you can fall forever if it meant he'd look at you this way for another breath, and another.

IV – The Hurricane

It wasn't enough.

He could consume every drop of alcohol aboard the Moby Dick, pour into his mouth ounce after ounce like his life depended on it, and it still wouldn't be enough.

There's nothing, not a sobering thought, not the lightning in the sky, not the dark clouds in the distance, that could free him from the hold you have on him. Your eyes are so big and round you remind him of the softness he hated in himself, the same he tried to strangle with his own hands. In you, it only made him want to kiss you. Right there. Right now. Ace swallows down the last of his apprehensions. He tightens his grip around your wrist, and thinks everyone and everything could go to hell and stay there. If he caused a scene by dragging you away, he simply did not care.

Nature had other plans. The wind picks up, the sea fights back. Waves rise, and rock the Moby Dick—a feat that's not as easy as it sounds. Marco gives you one last look before he scrambles away, shouting orders to the crew. They desperately climb to close the sails, but you can't finish watching them work. Ace drags you away from the deck, down a path you're ashamed to be familiar with.

In his room, he finally lets you go and you stumble forward with momentum. You hear the door close, and a lock click. You spin around belatedly, trying to keep your arms from swinging too much and losing your balance to see Ace's back pressed against the door.

He watches you from where he stood, hair soaked through. His raven curls are slicked against his forehead, so he runs a large hand through his hair, pushing it back and away from his face. He can't be bothered to find his hair a nuisance. Not when you're standing in front of him, wet from head to toe. You're out of your nurses' uniform, something he is not used to seeing. Your hair is lose and partially wet, wavy tendrils sticking to your cheeks and shoulders. Your round face looks precious, he swallows as he fights the urge to cradle it in his hands. Your wide eyed expression forces a chuckle out of him, one he tries to hide on the back of one hand.

He notices belatedly, and with a little remorse, the slight blue tint on your bottom lip and the redness on your cheeks. Your eyes are hazy, heavy lidded, and he tilts his head at you, dopey smile on his face.

“You were having fun,” he mentions, eyes trailing away from your cheeks to your torso, the dips on your sides that make your waist. The soft rolls that settle there make him want to touch you. He raps his knuckles on the door behind him instead, fingers tapping without rhythm; anything, and everything to keep himself controlled, especially at the sight of your wide hips, the thickness of your thighs.

“Yeah, I was actually,” you finally find your voice to speak. You swallow with difficulty, slapping a hand against a thigh, over your wet jeans. “Anyway,” you mumble, pinching the bridge of your nose. You should stay focused. You do your best, but the sight of Ace's bare chest reminds you of how warm he is and how frigid your fingers currently are. You'd love to warm them up right now, skim them over his toned abs. “Why did you do it?”

“Do what?” he asks you quietly.

“Drag me here. Can't you see?” you start, licking your lips, feeling very very parched when you follow the small trail of hair beginning at the bottom of Ace's belly button, and disappearing underneath his shorts. “I have working legs!” You make a show of lifting each one, one at a time, and pointing obnoxiously. “See? Perfectly healthy.”

“Yeah,” he agrees, pushing away from the door. He walks slowly towards you, steps hesitant and careful. His eyes roam over your body. You watch him drag his gaze from the top of your head, to your feet, and back up again at an excruciatingly slow pace. Your heart accelerates, and it thunders in your ears. “You're perfectly healthy,” his voices comes in softer now that he's standing in front of you. “I can see that.” Ace hands wrap around the roundness of your shoulders. He slides them down slowly from the short sleeves of your crop top, thick callused fingers skimming along the back of your plush and soft biceps. Your skin is soft, tantalizing. It feels as if he shouldn't touch you. It feels sinful, something he has no privilege to but he continues anyway, down to your wrists until his fingers grip yours gently. Ace tightens his hold on your hands and pulls you closer to him.

He wraps your arms around his waist. You don't fight him. You move; a leaf carried in the wind. Your fingers grip around his belt loops, as he dips his face to the crook of your neck. His hot breath fans against your skin, when he drops the softest kiss—his lips, or the wind, you're not sure. He nuzzles the exposed skin, using his nose to move the neckline of your crop top as much as he can to drop more soft kisses. You're colder than he expected, so he holds you tighter, until your softness fills all his hard edges and gaps. Your curves are a pleasant surprise. He had expected some of it from the way you filled the skirt of your uniform but seeing you out of it had been a vision he shouldn't be worthy of.

He shouldn't be worthy of any of it. He shouldn't enjoy the way your hips feel under his hands, but he still runs them over them up and down, over and over again. He shouldn't enjoy their width, the way the flesh caves under his grip, how his fingers dig deep and it still isn't enough to touch all of you. He shouldn't enjoy the way your skin feels so impossibly soft against his lips, as if it melts under his heat; snow under a sunny sky. He shouldn't enjoy the scent of your skin, the scent of your lotion that brings him to the brink of madness. He shouldn't enjoy the way you sigh his name when he sucks on your pulse, and grabs your ass. He shouldn't tell you the way he thinks no matter how much alcohol swims in his veins. He shouldn't tell you the way he feels, but words bubble up his throat and out his mouth—a freshwater brook whose source he can't define.

“You feel so good,” he moans against your ear, when he pushes his hips forward. Your eyes flutter at the feel of his erection against the softness of your belly. “I love touching you, Mermaid.” The nickname usually bothers you; given in passing because you loved swimming in the sea despite the dangers, but from his lips it feels like a spoken song; a poem only for you. “You smell so good,” he licks the shell of your ear, bites on the sensitive cartilage on top. You gasp, and dig your nails into his back, desperately holding on to whatever was left of your self preservation. “Do you know how sick I was?” He thinks he should punish you, and so he does, nipping at the sensitive skin of your neck. You yelp, and slap his back but it doesn't deter him. He smiles against your skin, licks the blooming bruise with a flat and sloppy tongue. “When Marco's hands were all over you. I thought I was going to burn. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand a second of it.”

His words sound desperate. You try to stay present by drawings circles on his back with your fingertips. The storm screams outside the room. You hear the wind pick up its shrill song, tinny and distant. Water pelts against the small circular window on the door, a drumming sound that soon grows deafening.

“Ace,” you try to interrupt his rambling, but his hands are tangled in your hair. His lips brush against your temple, before he speaks against your head.

“I felt sick watching you. It felt like I was in pain,” he groans into your hair. His hips press against you again. You bite down on your lip hard enough to inflict pain. You rub circles on his back, and force yourself to focus once more. His words come in belatedly, sound traveling a long distance in the air. You press your small hands against his chest.

“Where does it hurt?” you ask him, brows furrowing together. Leave it to Ace, to be injured in a moment like this. You shake your head, not sure to trust yourself or his words. You should have drank less. You should have stayed away from Ace. You should have left with Marco instead. Ace presses his forehead against yours. His breath tickles your nose. He moves his hand over yours. His fingers clutches your hand, and warmth seeps from him to you. You feel it sink it, seep into the rest of your arm and down to your elbow leaving a tingling sensation.

“Here,” he breathes out in a whisper. He squeezes your hand, presses it closer to his chest. “In here.” He pats your hand once, and again, repeatedly in a rhythm that matches his heart beating under your palm. Ace moves slowly, and gently brushes his nose against yours. His heart beats faster under your hand. Your eyes are tethered to his mouth. You can't look away from the sight of his lips parting, as if he couldn't catch his breath. You feel your mouth do the same, feel the air in your lungs run out; breathing is not enough, nothing is enough. His head tilts, and you follow his lead; reflections on still water.

“Idiot,” you finally whisper, a breathy laugh bouncing away from your mouth. He feels it reach his lips, and he swallows it whole in his mouth. “You mean your heart?”

“Yeah,” he admits fighting a smile, his lips brushing against yours. “My heart.”

You should laugh it off. You shouldn't take him seriously. A drunken confession would be forgotten the moment the sun rose again but there is a screaming in the back of her mind—distant and ancient like Sirens on rocky shores. The storm grows louder outside. You had always thought you were a serene passing wind, something to soothe and lick old wounds better; something to be forgotten once you left, but the heat of Ace's breath against your mouth, spun around you in circles. It transformed you into something bigger than you thought you could be. You wanted to be bigger. You wanted to be something destructive, something that would tear him from limb to limb, leave him with the wreckage of your path so he could have something to remember you by when he was gone.

You reach out, hands seeking a target. You clasp his face as you smash your mouth against his. He hums into the kiss. It's clumsy and forceful. You leave him no room to push back, no gap to slip his tongue past your defenses. It isn't until he is grabbing fistfuls of your ass to pull you closer to him, to rub his bulge against your belly once more that you concede. You gasp, and it's the only weakness he needs to exploit. His tongue strokes against yours, hunger forcing him to be overzealous. He is sloppy, and imprecise, kisses so wet saliva coats your lips, making them shiny under the yellow sconce's lights of the room. Ace knows he should slow down, show a little finesse but your ass feels divine in his hands. He had been watching it the whole time during the party, watched you saunter back and forth, hips swaying; teasing him.

He moves against you, and you step backwards, the ship swaying enough to make you forget your route. You land against the wall with a thud, your plush ass making you bounce slightly in Ace's embrace. He laughs against your mouth, nipping at your bottom lip. “Nice,” he mumbles before he takes your bottom lip for a long and noisy suck. “It's like a safeguard.”

You groan, hands traveling down the wideness of his back, and over his shorts. They settle over his ass, and you return the favor, digging your fingers into the muscle. He groans loudly, pushes his hips immediately against yours and grinds against your lower belly. The smell of wine on your mouth threatens to intoxicate him further. He closes his eyes as he pushes against you, feeling precum starting to soak through his underwear. Your tongue feels perfect in his mouth. He sucks on it time and time again, taken in by the sheer softness of it. How it doesn't feel unfamiliar at all, as if he had kissed you thousands of times before.

He wished he had kissed you that many times already. He wished he could tuck away those memories somewhere no one could take them away from him.

Every time he kisses you, it feels like dying, and it feels like coming back to life. You've died hundreds of times already, hundreds of little deaths by his hands and by every stroke of his tongue. You think you smell smoke in his hair when he holds you close, when he whispers sweet things in your ear before biting down your neck, leaving a trail of bruises in his wake. His hands are weapons he uses to tear your down. Their heat eviscerates all your defenses. It kills you how they feel so hot, even over your clothes. How when he drags his palms over your belly, you want to feel them lower, towards the center of your legs. Your belly is soft, and pliable, he squeezes and kneads until he memorizes it. His hands move to your sides, where he grips the soft flesh, the rolls that are tender in his hold.

Your cheeks color, and your heart flutters. Embarrassed, you swat his hands, and move them away from your waist.

“Don't push my hands away,” he says annoyed, going back to grab your sides. “Before I--”

You cut him off with a kiss, pressing your mouth hotly against his. You wrap your arms around his neck. “Shut up,” you say breaking the kiss. You kiss the corner of his mouth, and up his jawline. “If you say it—I'll leave.” You press your mouth against his pulse, and a soft spot behind his head. “I'll walk out right now. Don't even say it.”

He kisses you, and you crumple under the weight of it. It feels like a last desperate attempt at silencing you, at keeping you here with him. His heart is in tatters. He tries to ignore the debris of it, the way it splinters off into pieces. Ace deepens his kisses, crushes you against his chest, and traps you tightly between him and the wall. He knows the truth. He knows the more he kisses you, the more he'll discover all the things he wondered about you, the more he'll become familiar with your softness—the more he'll miss you. A feeling of unworthiness crawls out of a well. He tries to smother it with another kiss, one you moan into. You bring a leg up and he holds on to it, hooks it around a hip and pushes against you, his cock feeling painfully hard. He thrusts his hips, and he tries to forget every touch of your fingers on his back, how your trail them along his muscles, leaving memories in them he could never forget, memories you shouldn't give him so willingly.

He should be the one to walk out without a further word. If it hurt you, it would mean you'd never look at him again. That was the right thing to do. He should let you go immediately. He should stop craving the heat of your body. He should stop pushing against you, and moaning into the crook of your neck, giving into every desire and fantasy that had filled his body since he met you.

He should. But he couldn't stop himself from being selfish. Just this once. For once, he wants to seize a semblance of happiness by his own hands without needing a reason for it—without needing a reason to simply exist.

Ace brings you to his bed, pushes you down until you're seated on the edge of his mattress. He kneels before you. You blink, mouth surprisingly dry considering all the wet sloppy kisses Ace had been giving you. You lick your swollen lips, and think you taste beer in the corner of your mouth; residual of Ace's conquest. Ace kisses your cheeks—one at a time. He reaches around you to the bow holding your crop top together. He unties it easily, and just as easily pulls it over your head. You don't know where it lands, and it honestly doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is the way Ace's eyes land on your breasts, the way he licks his lips as if he's gearing up for a feast.

He wasn't expecting you to not a have a bra, but he couldn't complain either way. Once again, he is amazed at his sheer stupidity. How he had never noticed the size of your breasts, how large they were and how beautifully they hanged from your frame. He swallows thickly, wishing he had done this sooner. He presses his mouth against the middle of your chest, hands tentatively taking in the weight of your breasts. He palms them gently, cupping and lifting as he moves his fingers. His intentions are well meant. Ace would love to take his time with you, but you react so deliciously when he flicks his thumbs over your hardened nipples, mewling against the top of his head that he felt like he had no choice.

If his hand felt like furnaces, his mouth is incomparably vicious. The heat of his tongue is paralyzing. When he sucks on a nipple, his free hand twisting the other one between thumb and index finger, your toes curl. Your panties cling to your folds, covered in your slick since earlier. You whimper, embarrassed and aroused as Ace continues his streamlined assault. His teeth leave marks over the swell of your breasts. You respond to every lick and nibble he gives. Your soft moans leave goosebumps on his skin, reminding him that this is him making you moan, him who has you scraping your nails against his scalp.

He shouldn't—but he smiles—thinking Marco can go kick rocks. He bites down on a nipple, a bit too hard, at the thought. He should mark you more, lest anyone get any ideas.

And like that, his heart aches. Ace sighs against the side of your breast, licks over a bruise in apology. He shakes his head, trying to dislodge thoughts that had no business polluting his mind. He wonders what would happen if he leaves you for too long. Would you move on? His fingers stumble to unbutton your jeans so he tries again. Of course, you would. Who wouldn't? Marco seems to like you, and what's not to like about Marco?

Desperate, he finally unhooks the button. You fall back on the mattress with a surprised squeak when he pushes you. Ace tugs your jeans off. You see him standing between your legs, as he unbuckles his belt, and drops his shorts. You hear the thud on the ground, the creak of the mattress as he joins you.

He cages you in, and you immediately reach out. Your fingers splay against his broad chest. His shoulders are wide, and strong, muscles rippling with every movement he makes. The yellow lighting of the sconces compliment the golden tone of his skin. You bite your lip, and rub your legs together, deeply aroused when you brush your fingertips against his muscular abs. Lightning strikes, and bathes him in a flashing white light. You see for a moment, every freckle on his shoulder, and chest. You run your fingers over them, connecting the dots, making up little galaxies on his chest and shoulders and committing them to memory. You'd remember these later, on lonely nights, and hold your hand to the ceiling, pretending that if you trace over the memory of them you could bring Ace back to you like a spell; like a wish.

His kisses scatter your thoughts, little stars clouding your vision. His mouth is on your neck, and on your chest. Heated, and wet. He leaves hot wet trails of saliva wherever he goes, coating you with his smell. He kisses your belly, and nibbles on the soft flesh underneath your belly button. His fingers dancing over your thighs. Ace moves lower as you hum, parts your legs to drop kisses on the inside of your thighs. For a split second, you consider being embarrassed at the state of your arousal but you are past the point of caring. Soaked right through your panties, all you want is for Ace to keep kissing you.

He smells you before he sees it—before he sees the big wet spot in your underwear. Ace chuckles, and you reach out to swat at his head but he is faster than you—as usual. He grabs your wrist and kisses the inside of your palm.

“Don't be like that, Mermaid,” he says in a good mood, smile wide and crooked. He looks up at you through black lashes, a faint flush over his cheeks. “I know how much you love being wet.”

You think about screaming, and beating him senseless for saying something so embarrassing but when he pulls your panties down in one quick move you are left speechless. Just as quickly, his mouth is on your pussy. He gives long, meticulous licks; ones he uses to slurp up every drop of your arousal. He uses his fingers to part your folds, and traces your slit with the flat of his tongue. Your back arches, and you moan loudly, hands flying to tangle in his black curls. He is noisy, but he does not miss a spot. He slurps up a lip, sucks on it gently. He flicks his tongue around your sensitive nub, making you shiver and tremble.

Just when you think you can't take the heat of his mouth any longer, Ace pulls your lips apart again, and slips his tongue inside your aching pussy. He thrusts it in and out, upping the pace the more you moan. He slurps up, wet and noisy to suck on your clit. His fingers tease your entrance before he slips two inside you. He scissors his fingers inside, the squelching so loud and lewd, you're forced to slap a hand to cover your mouth. It is sinful, and you wonder if you should worry when you grow hornier the louder the wet sounds get. He curves his fingers, seeking out that spot that makes your toes curl. His moans against your clit as he sucks vibrates against you, and you cry out as you cum. Your pussy flutters around his fingers as you reach your peak, little tremors running their course throughout your body.

The way you look so disheveled makes him want to stay down there longer. He'd love nothing more than to feast on your pussy all night long, but his throbbing cock is becoming increasingly harder to ignore. He moves to climb over you, but the ship tilts when a particularly large wave comes. Ace sways, but you reach out to grab him by the arm before he rolls off the bed. You pull him towards you, and laugh at Ace's shocked expression. He laughs with you for a moment, before it dies out. Your eyes captivate him—their sparkle too bright to be dimmed by the yellow lighting of the room, or even by the darkness of the storm outside the room. Ace kisses your cheek, and licks your ear. He laughs into your hair when you yelp, and hit his shoulder with a tiny fist, your own laughter overtaking his.

“Your laughs always carries so easily,” he says quietly, a hand brushing hair away from your face. You wrinkle your nose up at him. “You know that? I always hear you wherever I go.”

There's a breath that refuses to come back to you. It stays there behind Ace's smile. You swallow, following the path of his trail of dark hair that starts at his belly button. You grip the tip of his cock gently, and watch his brows knit together, teeth clenching to keep from moaning. You brush a thumb against his slit. His lips part, eyes fluttering close, and as you squeeze your hand down his shaft, he lets go; a moan flying past the front of his teeth. He is thick in your hands. You move them gently at first, taking in the sight of him above you. His dark hair spilled around him like a curtain.

His eyes that he fights so hard to keep open but flutter close every time you squeeze his pink tip just right. He cusses under his breath, upset he can't watch you jerk him off, how he can't keep the sight of your white teeth sinking into your berry colored bottom lip in his vision.

You are mesmerized by the sight of him. You try your best to commit to memory the planes of his face, the sharpness of his jawline. You rub your legs together as you stroke, enjoying the way your slick slides down your thighs. You love how vulnerable he looks, how soft his expressions is as he gives in to you, his dark lashes that flutter open and close, the freckles on the bridge of his nose; everything leaves their residue behind like sticky fingers on glass.

You feel his hand swat yours away from his cock. “Stop,” he whines in a hiss, eyes opening partially. He frowns down at you, cheeks bright red, mouth hanging open. “I don't want to cum like that. I want to cum inside you. With you.” There's no time to think, you feel him shift your legs, and feel the tip of his cock pressing against your entrance. He pushes inside you, slowly, inch by inch. Your mouth drops open, a sound that refuses to leave your body. When he bottoms out, you moan gently, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

Your thighs are thick and plush as they tighten around his strong hips. Ace feels as he would be swallowed whole—like a small vessel in a raging sea. If you wanted to drown him, he'd let you, if that's what you really wanted. He grunts with every slow thrust of his hips, wanting to feel you first, let you adjust around him. He's only begun, but he feels you fluttering around his cock, senses the tightening of your grasp around his shoulders.

He picks up the pace, as the storm rages. You're panting against his hear, so loud that even the thunder can't drown you out when you moan. Lightning splits the sky, over and over, bathing your sweaty body underneath him in bright white. He tries to remember the pieces of you, the soft breasts pressed against his chest, the sight of his cock disappearing into your soaking pussy. He tries to remember the sound of the rain, how it compliments your voice when you sigh into his neck. He pushes against you faster, deeper, your moans grow closer and louder. The scent of rain and wet wood floods the room along with the scent of your arousal. Ace can almost taste it on his tongue all over again, as he breathes through his mouth, panting loudly—moaning when you clench around his cock again.

His cologne makes you delirious—mahogany, and sweet blossoms, or it's the thickness of his cock or both. You bite his neck, scream into the crook of his neck when he picks you up slightly by the hips, when he angles his thrusts and slaps his hips against yours viciously enough to bruise. His cock pushes against your gummy walls, stretching you out until it's almost painful. He is so hot and warm inside you, you feel like you're melting, as if your body is built by nothing but pleasure and pleasure alone. You bite his shoulders, leaving marks behind. Your attack is as relentless as his thrusts. You continue to sink your teeth into his shoulders, and his neck, you nibble at his jawline.

He loves it. He loves the pain you leave behind. Ace digs his fingers into your hair, and he tilts his neck to give you more access—anything to keep you going. He groans with every thrust into your pussy, his heavy balls slapping against your thick and plush ass so noisily he worries for a second someone might hear.

“Go ahead,” he whispers to you when you nibble on his neck once more, groaning right after. “Make it hurt.” It is a fitting punishment, he thinks. Pain always left the deepest scars. If it was you, he'd take the scars with him.

The wind picks up more, the shrill tinny scream rises, banging against the round window on his door. It pounds at the glass, demanding tribute. Ace cries out when your pussy clenches around his cock, his body tensing before it relaxes at his climax. He releases, spilling into you, hot cum that oozes slightly out of your cunt. You stay tangled with him in his bed sheets, lightning coloring your bodies in bright white every now and then. Heat envelops the room, a humidity so thick it feels suffocating; muggy. Your bodies covered in sweat, are slippery, almost uncomfortable but you don't care.

You don't care about the incessant heat beaming off his body, you don't care how his hair sticks to your skin when he nuzzles in your neck, you don't care bout the storm outside the door, the angry sea. You bring your hand to Ace's chest, feel his heart thumping against your palm. What you care about is there, under skin and bone, just out of reach.

You shut your eyes when he kisses your lips, when he holds your face in his hands.

Your mother's words cut through the screams of the hurricane outside. Don't head straight into storms. They forgive no one.

But who was the storm? Was it him? Was it you? Who's to forgive if there's no one left in the wake of the storm?

#ace x y/n #ace x reader #ace x you #portgas ace x reader #portgas d. ace x reader #portgas d ace x reader #one piece x y/n #one piece x you #one piece x reader #ace smut #fic request #for the cummunity!

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