#but also.. you know.. idk it doesnt feel like any of that has the cultural impact of movies for example

[moodr1ng]

i think theres probably something interesting going on regarding the relationship between.. how accessible a form of media is to create at a professional level for an average individual or small group (eg: writing at a professional level is comparatively very accessible, making a movie at a professional level is comparatively inaccessible) vs which forms of media are currently dominating whats considered mainstream and which forms appear to not be valued as much anymore. but any conclusion i draw upon would only be anecdotal so its whatever

[foxcassius]

as i look at job listings here in korea, i cant help but still dream of that private lesson life. like, every job here will still expect you to teach 6 classes a day 5 days a week, for like a maximum wage of 2.4 million won per month. i could make twice that teaching that many classes in a private lesson setting, and i could easily make the SAME wage and just work less (ideal scenario)

[officialspec]

What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

first off i hate this ask and i think youre a freak. in any other world i wouldve blocked you for this but unfortunately for both of us i actually like this type of philosophy. dont send this shit to anyone else though

i dont think its right to compare human sexuality to the same thing in animals, to get that out of the way. im sure until a certain point it comes from the same biological impulses, but human beings have way more complicated social structures and reasons for coupling that just do not exist in other animals. our social behaviours are what make us unique in the animal kingdom and that definitely extends to gender and sexuality. so theres that

people love to tout 'gender is a social construct' around like its a criticism in and of itself, which i think betrays a misunderstanding about social constructs in general. theyre the foundations we build language on to better understand each other, and affected by a whole host of cultural and historical factors. just because theyre subjective and complicated doesnt mean they arent real. in terms of the effect they have on peoples lives they may be the most real thing that exists

for example, 'kindness' is a social construct. the definition and ways it is enacted differ greatly across personal and cultural lines. but no one would ever suggest a world where kindness doesnt exist or loses meaning, because its an essential part of the way we interact with each other (in the same way i dont really see a world where gender entirely ceases to exist, mainly just one where people have more fun with it. im not a psychic though so who knows)

similarly, sexuality in humans is another social construct. i think the driving biological forces behind it are very real, but the labels people attach to those impulses are subjective attempts to express their inner world to the people around them if that makes sense. and those same biological impulses are ALSO subject to social ideas of gender, because those ideas are established at birth and reinforced over a persons entire lifetime

to use myself as an example, im a gay trans man. ive identified as other things in the past, because i was trying to pick apart feelings i had and express them to others in an attempt to find community. my identity might change as i get older and experience new things, or it might not. i identify as gay because im not attracted to the social concept of women, and someone i would otherwise be attracted to might lose all appeal after i find out they fall under that concept (this has happened before w transfems pre and post coming out lol)

of course, the real REAL answer to this is that trying to give queer identities rigid and objective definitions is a fools errand, and also lame as fuck. someone might identify as gay and be more attracted to general masculinity than men as a social category, maybe they fool around with a couple of butch women without considering themself any less gay. two otherwise identical people might be a butch lesbian and a gay trans man without either of those identities coming into conflict. they might even be the same person at different times of the week

the labels people choose to use are communication tools, not objective signifiers. if you dont understand them, they probably arent talking to you

social constructs are everything. we as humans have the unique ability to interpret our own messy desires and impulses into words that other people can use to form an idea of someone else in their mind. its how we build connections, and of course it isnt perfect because trying to squeeze someones entire personal history and the centuries of context that defined it into a handful of syllables is going to leave some room for error. but its all we have, yknow? so we keep trying. and i think thats much more human than any imposed objective 'truth' could ever be

tldr we live in a society dipshit. get with it

[lokh]

what do you think toshiro's version of laios would've been like if he was still with the group during the shapeshifter shenanigans

there have been a few speculations in the tag and among the fans and they are all very good SO i am going to take this opportunity to insert a bit of my shipping bias as i like in my interpretation LMAO agdsfgdfgv

i noted that in actuality shuro seems to have a very good grasp on laios' character??? this is most obvious in the manga later on but even seeing how he criticises laios in their fight... iirc nothing he says is actually untrue or wildly exaggerated, and while he does express frustration over something he feels like laios Should have control over (noticing his cues), he is also aware that laios isnt being malicious and that hes Just Like That. what i mean to say is that while i think his version of laios may seem more pushy and in-your-face, i dont think it will be overwhelmingly so. if its post-fight, i think the idea of laios (and marcille) being willing to do anything to get falin back made a big impression on him, as well as the idea that they need to eat and rest in order to succeed in their goals, so those aspects would be prominent in his version. he seems pretty observant, so i think for the most part the physical traits would line up, but i think there would be specific things that stand out to him that would appear strangely striking on his version of laios (like. idk something about his eye colour or the subtle contrast of his armour and chainmail. he seems to have a weird sense of aesthetics if extras are anything to go by lmao). if hed actually been paying attention all those times laios had gone on about what the hell ever, then it might be even MORE hard to tell apart his version since he would also have a good grasp on what laios should know. so either his version of laios is pretty difficult to pick out, OR despite the character being accurate his appearance is too. stylised lmao (exaggerated features or something) OR!! they just get him to pull out his monster gourmet guide thing and are able to tell from there. iirc everyone was surprised at its appearance so its possible toshiro had also never seen it before

IN MY IMAGINARY SHIPPING SCENARIO............ lets say that his laios isnt able to be picked out immediately and that the monster guide thing also doesnt immediately occur to anyone. what the real laios Specifically notices is how close this other laios keeps getting to shuro. and hes like. ??? why is he getting so close to him, theres no way i get that close to him??? but no one else seems to be picking up on it as weird, so hes having a small crisis like do i REALLY get that close to him???? and now that hes on the outside he notices shuro subtly leaning away and he feels both a wave of shame and..... protectiveness??? (JEALOUSY??????) and he immediately steps in and grabs him like Hey!!! cant you see hes uncomfortable???? weve been through this already!!! and like. ok i cant believe im doing this again but i need to separate this into different endings

a) the whump route: i dont think shuro ever envisioned Actually Telling laios about his frustrations outside of being basically cornered into it. has he ever spoken up against what was expected of him?? has he ever been confrontational???? i think part of what held him back from expressing his frustrations, along with the cultural norms, could be fear of what the reaction would be. if he had done the same in any other aspect of his life (his family, his inheritance), i think he would expect disappointment, disapproval, more proof that he doesnt add up to expectation. to be honest i dont think he Truly believes that laios is the type of person to react like this. but it was strong enough to prevent him from acting and i think would be projected onto his image of laios. maybe fake!laios says something dismissive like Well if it really bothered him hed say something right? what, he cant even stand up for himself? cmon, shuro, prove that you cant handle it just like everything else. and thats pretty much the fastest giveaway that it isnt really laios. of course this would be a HUGE tonal departure from what the actual episode/chapter was, so:

b) the dumbass route: both laioses break into fisticuffs, and, yes.... barking. and so they speedrun the entire encounter as the shapeshifters true form appears and, after laios points out that thinking too hard about others versions of you can tear apart groups and peace of mind, they pointedly do not speak of it again. they think about it though. a LOT

c) the normal route: both laioses argue normal like and the group ends up being able to tell them apart because the fake laios goes on a little too long about how theyre all here for falin and everyones like ok its not like he DOESNT love his sister but.......... the rest of the scenario probably goes like canon, though then i would want to see what everyone Else thought of shuro

[yonpote]

Honestly so relieved with the charity they picked. As an adult I spent a lot of time trying to not seek out validation for my political/social opinions from celebrities but I am so glad they're doing this. I don't mind him being apolitical online but it's nice to see he's doing this because it's important

yeah i think phil has always been good about this even tho sure hes not as vocal about his politics as dan can be. i was talking to some friends and i misremembered phil posting a black square on ig during the BLM protests for george floyd (which if u dont remember was just the absolute laziest form of performative activism) but they quickly corrected me that he actually posted a graphic that said Black lives matter and had a handful of resources in support of the movement and didnt tag it was blacksquare or anything like that and imo very clearly wasnt doing that for clout

i'll be real i was growing a little frustrated hearing about people who were really begging them to speak up about this, and i can understand feeling disappointed when your favs dont speak up about something important but ultimately sometimes thats a thing you just have to let go. and like this point is moot now because they are speaking up and supporting the pcrf and everything! i remember when people hounded dan for tweeting about a ceasefire? as in pro-palestine ppl getting angry with the way he worded his tweet? and like. idk i get it sometimes dan doesnt perfectly phrase things but like WE KNOW he has his heart in the right place so like what's the point in getting upset about the particulars of his choice of words.in general internet culture is so much about semantics and wording things rather than about actions and intent and impact on the world.

and its also very much a parasocial thing to where like, i think for ME bc ive figured out a healthier way to interact with my favs. i know how to separate them from me as a person so like, dnp's actions and statements don't say anything about me as a person or any of their fans. and i mean that's been proven with like, on twitter theres like all these fanartists doing incentives for ppl to donate for fanart and thats like so cool and like didnt need to be sanctioned by dnp or anything it was just something a bunch of people decided together ykwim?

[mynnthia]

hypothesis on the ethnic/cultural background of izutsumi's mom

[disclaimer: i am not a professional ethnographer, nor of any of the ethnic groups mentioned in the post. this post was written based on research done over the course of a day.

if you have any corrections, feedback, etc, please feel free to inform me! my inbox/dms are open. if there is any misinformation present, i aim to correct them] ----------

idk if anyone else into dungeon meshi has noticed this, but i think izutsumi's mom (and therefore, izutsumi herself) might've been of Nivkh (indigenous east Siberian) heritage?

[details and explanation under the readmore, its slightly long]

when dungeon meshi chapter 59 came out (~2019), i saw a few people speculating that izutsumi's mom might've been Ainu because of how her clothing style notably differed from typical Japanese clothing.

while the Nivkh robe's trim features a different pattern style (swirly) than what izutsumi's mom wears (triangular), the Nivkh robe still looks to be a closer match than Ainu robes, especially in the collar/neckline & sleeve cuff areas.

note how the Ainu robes (image 2) have a different neckline style and wider sleeves:

heres more images of the robes, but from the past this time, found in Wikimedia Commons:

image 1: Nivkh robe from 1871 image 2: Sakhalin Ainu girl (left), Nivkh boy (center), Hokkaido Ainu girl (right) in 1912

Nivkh people have had interactions with Japan dating back centuries too. heres an exerpt from wikipedia:

"For many centuries, the Nivkh were tributaries of the Manchus. After the Treaty of Nerchinsk in 1689, they functioned as intermediaries between the Russians, Manchu and Japanese, and also the Ainu, who were vassals of the Japanese. Early contact with the southern Sakhalin Ainu was generally hostile, although trade between the two was apparent"

(sorry historians for quoting wikipedia as a source here. a lot of the more reputable sources are 20-200+ page papers, and not concise enough to put on a tumblr post)

the English language wiki doesnt have much more detail on Nivkh-Japan relations unfortunately, but there seems to be more info on the Japanese language version of the page.

i've also seen at least 1 speculation that izutsumi's mom might be Mongolian, as her robe somewhat resembles a Mongolian deel. in my opinion, the robe's neckline trim having patterning makes it resemble the Nivkh robes more. this – combined with the fact that prior to the 1900s, Japan-Mongolia relations consisted mostly of Mongolian forces trying to invade japan repeatedly – makes me think Nivkh (or some other indigenous east Siberian) heritage is more likely.

i wont rule it out entirely though, as i don't know how much Ryōko Kui cares about historical-based cultural relations. regardless, here are various deel styles across different Mongolian ethnic groups, if that is of interest to anyone:

i dont really have a profound conclusion for this post tbh. i wanted to document what i found, and figured i might as well share it to tumblr.

theres limited amounts of easily accessible information on traditional eastern Siberian clothing out there, but here's 1 source i found that goes over a few groups (including Nivkh):

[maxellminidisc]

I've said this for years but the way the community absolutely has an undiscussed dislike or idk disregard for closeted people has bothered me for years. Yeah theres that sheen of being understanding but I've seen and had to have so many conversations with people to have more empathy for closeted people, especially closeted partners because I understand full well how complicated that is. Btw I'll be using gay as an umbrella term for most of the following cause I'm sometimes uncomfortable with using the q word too much, please respect that.

Like it got especially bad after gay marriage became legal here in the US and most of Western Europe and like every mostly white gay living in liberal areas started acting like everyone should be out already and if you weren't you were idk probably ashamed of yourself, or worse someone faking it. You become some kind of half baked gay person who their behavior implied couldn't possibly connect to queerness in the right way.

But like it doesn't work like that. Some of us very much live in unsafe places to do that and we also don't have the financial privilege to leave to safer states/countries or move out of homophobic/transphobic households. I can't imagine especially how disabled and closeted members of our community feel trapped by these kind of circumstances.

Plus some of us live in cultures where the emphasis on family and community is an essential tenant of our makeup and learning to separate ourselves from the abuse present in those communities towards us is difficult, much like any abusive relationship. There is so much nuance, especially outside the lense of whiteness, that out people sometimes seem to forget or even dismiss instead of helping to foster relationships or community to help the people in their lives who are closeted find refuge safely.

And it really comes to a head when out people I know date closeted people. They seem understanding enough at first but then start questioning if the person they're dating "actually really loves" them if they're not willing to out themselves and the conversation can at time turn progressively meaner as if closeted people are all inheritly selfish. Yes it is a romantic notion for someone to risk everything to be openly with you, and its something frankly all of us deserve including closeted people, but life is far more dangerous and complex than that and I think some people have forgotten that.

And look, I even empathize with open people in that kind of circumstance cause yeah the pressure of having to keep something that incredibly special to you under wraps can be very daunting. But often I've found, most open people have a chosen community to fall back on and talk about it with because they're not as inhibited or cut off from the larger, while closeted people often dont have anyone except their partner because being closeted has severed most pathways of finding the community. Their partners are usually their first connection to the community.

I even sometimes think this sort of mind set extends into how white people perceive gay poc as inherently closeted too. We're either not open enough or being closeted is weaponized against us. Like we could be out and white people still presume we're not and act like were straight lite and we could talk about how we're closeted and white people, again, think it's ok to treat us like straight lite. This is especially evident when we say something that makes them uncomfortable and angry. Like the only time they take cultural nuance into account is to use it to dismiss us, as if all of us must be in hiding and cant be as gay as them.

Point is, being closeted is complicated and frankly miserable as someone whose got one foot in and one out lol and although some peoples only space to be open is online, it doesnt makes them fake, doesnt make them less gay or trans, or less part of this community. It doesnt make them less worthy or deserving of love and community despite their circumstances.

[i-eat-nail-polish]

Hey I’m gonna probably post more serious stuff because I need to have discussions with people about Palestine. For one I live in an area and am surrounded by people who aren’t pro Palestinian. They don’t take anything surround boycotts or information in general about the genocide serious at all because it doesnt effect them. It’s starting to wear on me because there’s no one to cope (idk if that’s the right word) with what I see online on a daily basis. Ever since mid October or so? (When the tik tok algorithm caught up with the time) I’ve seen countless atrocities that I’ve only ever seen in video games or movies played out in real life against real people. I learned what real bombs sound like both far away and up close because of these videos. Lately I’ve also started to dream about being trapped in Gaza with that feeling of death looming. It sounds dramatic but it’s true. Every day I’m thankful that I’m constantly shown information about Palestine and surrounding Arab countries and I’m also in shock. I’m in shock for a few reasons. 1: I’ve watched for months now, a country, a land and it’s people go through something worse than hell and nobody around feels the same sadness and basic human empathy. No one cares to take in that there’s a massive loss of life and culture and future for whatever reason. It’s gut renching to think about it. 2: I can’t help beyond witnessing and documenting. It seems stupid and corny to think that we’re privileged to have phones but documenting this horrible event through a phone camera is so incredible for history. It just feels almost insulting that that’s all I can do as a poor college student in America. Yes, I can call my representatives which thankfully where I live do support a free and liberated Palestine, but others won’t even do much as think about their constituents. It’s hard because it feels like we’re trying to move a volcano with plastic beach shovels. So all we can do is sit and save videos before social media giants take them down. 3: coming to terms that nobody looks out for each other on a large scale. Because I follow now many journalists from various sectors ranging from on the ground in Gaza to political scientists giving me lessons on the United Nations history, I’m shocked at how all of it is fake. Nothing makes sense anymore. You’re telling me because 2 countries won’t vote on a ceasefire but 98% do we can’t move on with it? Why does the US get privileges that to my limited knowledge no one else has the same power leverage as. How has nobody else stepped in when MANY war crimes are being committed. Why do they even exist if countries are never seriously prosecuted? Why even have rules if you can’t follow them? It’s disheartening to watch but I can’t give up hope. I’m not giving up hope because that’s all we have. I may not have direct ties to Palestine but as if needless suffering is enough for me to care, I care especially for the queer family in Gaza. They are as much apart of the queer family as my roommates are. I don’t know if and when we lose LGBTQ+ people in Gaza but I know it’s happening so I cry for the loss of our family. I need to see an end to this. I need to. I don’t know how to process any of what I’ve witnessed or feel right now or even what else I can do to help stop a genocide. I need to talk to people so please may you strike up conversation. Correct me in any place, tell me about the latest boycotts, show me protests. Please converse we have to keep hope alive.

[theriverbeyond]

I guess we can't know Mizu's gender til he tells us, but tbh I think he's a gay man. In the scene in the brothel, he only has the response and flashback when it was two men kissing, not the man and the woman. He also bound his chest when it was only him and Swordmaster at the time. It's possible living as a man has affected him that intensely but he's actually a woman deep inside, but I personally don't think so. However! I don't get onto anyone for thinking differently because we Just Don't Know Yet.

I agree!!! this is how I see him... as either a gay man or transmasc nonbinary. idk i've read/watched a LOT of stories about women who dress as men for battle, freedom, etc, and this storyline definitely seems to be framing his gender as something different

and obviously I won't get on anyone for viewing him differently (especially if they identity with the character!!) but I also think that unless and perhaps even if explicitly proven otherwise, I will personally be treating Blue Eye Samurai as a trans story and Mizu as a transmasc person. Because honestly, I feel like we HAVE been told his gender, in ways far more extensive than many cis characters in media have their gender told. like.... most characters in media don't have a "JSYK, I'm a man/woman!" moment. they just Are and we the viewers understand. I think Mizu's gender is clear and I as a viewer am Understanding. (spoilers ahead!)

like u said, he bound his chest and presented as a man when it was just him and Swordfather, who is totally blind. you'd think that if he didn't have at least SOME kind of gender fuckery he would probably have just done the voice and dispensed with the rest of it at least while inside/not training/for sleep? and you'd think after Ringo saw him naked, if he wasn't trans he would probably unbind around the campfire/etc when it was just them. and if his male presentation was really just a front, after Fowler says Mizu's bones "break like a woman's" (and clocks him, basically) and he runs away to London you would think Mizu would dispense with the disguise while on the ship. but he doesn't do any of those things!!!!

he COULD have snuck into Fowler's fortress dressed as a woman, as one of Madame Kaji's workers, hiding his sword under the dress. and I was actually really EXPECTING it to happen... it truly seemed like the most logical way for him to sneak in, and you could still have included the epic fight scenes. But he didn't? the story made a concious choice to reveal that women often went in via the (for lack of a better term) sex worker tunnel system, and then made the concious have him sneak in *as a man*, using that same tunnel. that feels important idk!!

during his marriage era, despite dressing as a woman i just literally could not see him as one. He was eventually attracted to his husband, definitely, but the entire section felt somewhat like watching him in drag, and the times when he presented most feminine felt viscerally uncomfortable. especially the end, when he put on makeup as a way to try and present himself as less-of-a-monster specifically right before the betrayal. i don't how how to really articulate it but like. his husband had a husband. TO ME

i think Akemi's storyline also makes me think Mizu is more of a transgender story than a woman crossdressing for freedom and power reasons. Akemi is a female character that is presented to us explicitly as someone who strains against the social expected norms for womanhood. through her, we (the audience) also learn about how women's opportunities are severely limited, and through her, we see her rebel against those to seize her own power within that social hierarchy. like as a character she functions to give us a foil for Mizu on what their other option could be, and it just feels. really not Mizu!!! like the contrast just feels huge in terms of being able to directly compare Akemi, who doesnt want to be a woman because of the social/cultural burden, to Mizu, who seems to reject womanhood for intrinsically different reasons.

the way people clocking him is framed feels VERY trans in a way I am not sure I can articulate. But basically, the way the narrative acknowledges but also brushes over those multiple reveals (Ringo at the Lake, Fowler during the final battle, etc), the way everyone in the story still treats Mizu as a man despite and through those multiple reveals basically without batting an eye, is NOT how I would write a cis woman being recognized. to ME

also yeah. he only reacted in the brothel when two men kissed.

tl;dr transmasc mizu sweep!!!!

[imminent-danger-came]

tbh you are so real for talking about the misogyny targeted to mei & other women in the lmk fandom. in general its like people only value mei as: a: the wingman to some basic mlm ship or b: macaque 2.0. its honestly crazy how so many male side characters overshadow her in the fanbase despite not even having a FRACTION of her screen time. idk chat i feel like the reason people dont care about mei but care about some random male side/background character is less because they're inherently more likeable but because some of you view women as inherently less likable. and everyone is always like "mei is so girlboss pussy cunt slay shes the only reason theyre still alive because she keeps them safe from their silly boy shennanigans shes their ultimate wingman shes so badass shes their lesbian best friend i totally paid attention to her when i watched this show LOL" and even ignoring the obvious misogyny here (ie. how people reduce her to being the male characters babysitter) its like... okay... i know mei is cool & badass already... could you name literally ANY other character trait she has. like people just value her as being "the braincell" who can get red son and mk together or something stupid and its like are we having fun still is this still fun. literally every day i go into the mei tag its like "look at mei shes red sons wifey and shes vaguely in the background of this drawing of red son and mk staring into each others eyes #trafficlighttrio am i right oh look shes macaques niece now this post is about ao lie why is it in the mei tag"

and thats literally JUST talking about mei and it doesnt even begin to cover the other female characters. chang'e constantly gets reduced to being red sons aunt/mom/big sister despite them like. not having any actual interactions in the show. lady bone demon constantly gets overshadowed by her minion who has like 2 seconds of screen time, or she gets made into a cartoonishly abusive madwoman who people call lady bitch demon. just in general people act like shes a horrible person for like. being a villain. liks yeah the trying to destroy everything was bad but also she was an antagonist and thats what antagonists do LOL. spider queen gets completely ignored. princess iron fan gets made into a cartoonishly abusive mother so that way red son can have a poor angsty backstory and some male character (usually nezha, macaque, swk) can take care of him.

(also theres just a great deal of ethnocentrism in the lmk fanbase? like im white so take what İ say here with a grain of salt but so many people will misconstrue aspects of chinese culture for their own personal hcs. people will say male characters are transfem or nonbinary while completely ignoring the time period/culture their from where thats the norm. like yippee youve implied that an east asian man is feminine/emasculine because he has long hair. how do you not see the negative connotations with this. people also turn pif (& lbd to an extent) into a dragon lady which obviously has negative racial connotations lol.)

anyway this is where my unhinged rambling ends have a good day have a good night İ had more to say here but İ reached the text limit. İ dont see a lot of people talk about the misogyny thats prevalent in the lmk fanbase so İm glad youre pointing it out lol.

Yeah, I totally hear you. The lmk fandom has plenty of issues with misogyny and, like you said, ethnocentrism. It's definitely something worth having a discussion about, along with these issues in fandom as a whole.

[iremadethisisanarchive]

please help, this is urgent - i need to get away from my father, but i have no money. ive become jobless recently, had an interview today, but cant officially be hired until i have my state ID, which i ordered a replacement online today thanks to the help of a tumblr mutual sending me $25 and takes 7-10 days to arrive (at a different address, not my dad's address). he's abusive, he's manipulative and every other negative trait under the sun, he has been so since i was a teenager. there's no reasoning with him, there's no arguing with him, there's no peace with him unless it goes his way. im mentally exhausted being around him, i wouldnt have been with him to begin with if i had another choice. but even if i wanted to stay with him, i couldn't, because he has kicked me out yet again and i quite literally have nowhere to stay, he's also threatening 'legal action' on me, whether or not thats a scare tactic or genuine idk at this point. anyway, i do not have a car or a drivers license currently either. my best option would be a nearby motel room which i can't currently afford on my own and this is where i need help. please please, if you can, id appreciate any don8tions towards this, as well as money for phone bill and food and uber rides as i wait for my replacement ID card in the mail to officially be hired and start the training for the new job.

my pajdpal

no set goal, anything helps, but totaling over $500 or more would be amazing. if you cant help i understand, i know everyone is going through something, but at the very least a reblog to spread this around to someone who could potentially aid me would be great !! my partner is going to help me get the rest of my stuff from his house, but after that, im on my own. (i cant stay at my partners house because of strict culture/beliefs)

screenshots of account balances, the rmv payment + texts between me & my dad under the cut (as an example of how he is the majority of the time like i cant make this up):

(the blacked out picture is a picture of my jury duty status, pending disqualification that i requested to show my dad that i wasnt simply ignoring it)

it didnt end there, but at this rate the whole post would be text messages between him & i. this doesnt include all of the things he said over the phone. i mean im no angel here either but ive tried to be nice. ive tried. ive tried to end the convo a billion times on a better note, he kept going, or blew up my phone with calls to fight further. i feel like i have no escape from him and i desperately need one.

[askanautistic]

Hi!

I don't know for sure if he's autistic, but my partner seems to have some signs of alexithymia..?

Idk, when he's with me, he's amazing & caring & sweet, but he forgets about me when he's gone. Largely, it's because texting can be a lot for him, & he forgets about his phone. I believe him, but I haven't heard of it before? Is it a thing that you can love someone but just... don't think about them all the time? Am I just a hopeless romantic lol

He also rarely says things like 'I love you' or 'i miss you', unless prompted; he doesnt do romantic things for me; he needs time away from me after a day or so (where i could spend weeks on end with him); he needs time alone to figure out why something bothers him, etc. I feel like with most partners, I would assume he just wasn't really interested, but then other things he does really contradict that (like being thoughtful with gifts, listening when i need to talk, thinking about my feelings, etc.). It's confusing.

I wish he'd be more vocal about his feelings & I'm sure he would if i asked, but I'd feel like an asshole if that's just who he is. I don't want him to think anything is wrong with him 😕

I'm not really sure why you think he might be autistic or has alexithymia based on *these things* specifically... Without knowing the full details of your relationship, it sounds a lot like he's very attentive when you're together. And when you're apart he's paying attention to other things. Which, unless it is very extreme, or if you spend a lot of time apart and so do rely on there being some communication and contact during those times, sounds quite balanced! Life is made up of lots of elements, and it would be quite difficult to function at school or work or when doing any activity if someone was constantly thinking about their partner all the time. How expressive people are with their partners can also be influenced by culture or socialisation. Different families communicate in different ways or might be more or less comfortable with talking about big issues. Some people are more likely to be very expressive and some aren't. Some people need reassurance more than others. Some people are much better face to face at expressing themselves or showing affection, and some people can be better at communicating from a distance (so might be more likely to share memes or text a loved one, or get into deeper conversations via text/messaging, but might seem more standoffish in person!). Introverts often need time to themselves to decompress, process, etc. and just because that's how introverts reenergise. Whereas extroverts tend to need to be around people, so don't always understand that need for regular alone time. Whatever the case is, however, it's okay to let your partner know what you like/need in a relationship. It doesn't have to be framed in a way that undermines or criticises the other person. Sometimes it's not that someone is too much, or that someone isn't being expressive enough, it's just that you have conflicting needs or preferences. So it would be okay to say, 'I really like it when you tell me you love me every day and would like for you to say it more often if you would be comfortable doing so.' It would also be okay to ask him what he experiences. Or to let him know that you interpret behaviours a certain way and would like to know whether you're right or not (if you think when he doesn't say it it's because he doesn't feel it or doesn't know if he feels it, then he can let you know whether he does feel it but doesn't think it necessary to say, or whatever else the case may be). I've known NT people who just tend not to use their phones much, who can lose their phone and won't rush to replace it even though it makes it hard to contact them, who don't have or use social media, etc. Or who *do* use their phones a lot but often don't reply to things immediately because they're also very busy people, working, socialising, etc. and sometimes need to dedicate their attention to other things and other people. So it's definitely not exclusively an ND thing... But, if your partner *is* ND, it is also quite common for ND people to experience these things to an even greater extent. It's more often associated with ADHD (but is probably not ADHD exclusive) to experience 'out of sight, out of mind'. Which can apply to objects (and can cause people to do things frequently forget what food is in the cupboard so it goes out of date, or might forget to take medication or to do a task because there's no visual prompt because the implements are somewhere they can't easily be seen). And time blindness. So this can also extend to people - not thinking to message someone because they're not on your mind as much when you're not physically with them, and/or not realising that you haven't heard from or checked in with someone for hours... or days/weeks/months/years. It doesn't mean we don't care about people, and we can be very thoughtful and might show affection in less expected ways, but we might be less consistent or easily distracted or not notice the passing of time so won't feel it as deeply as someone who doesn't have our difficulties.

[sassykinzonline]

Going off on a tangent (I’m lowkey obsessed with your blog so now I’m going to yell my thoughts at you)

I get so disappointed at the lack of any lore drops between Naruto’s heritages like obviously the uzamaki’s were exploited and basically had a like genocide (Karin’s backstory had me so fucked) and maybe it’s to show how normal it is in shinobi society to just brush anything under the rug when it comes to genocides and systemic issues which duh but I wish I could’ve seen more nuanced stuff like diaspora between the few survivors of lost clans, how they survived or heck how they try to preserve their culture.

Idk maybe I’m not making any sense but as someone who has like no ties to my origins (AA, especially growing up to ppl denying AA culture and how AA culture gets sold) I wished I saw that kind of relatability in Naruto since he himself is basically separated from his culture and didn’t even know who his parents were I feel like that could lead to some like deeper stuff. I feel like Naruto would try to preserve his cultures and clans (he does in way ig in boruto but I barely seen that anime and that’s a whole other discussion with how clans are treated)

And in a way I guess it’s the most realistic part of Naruto like yea the ppl in charge might give a nod in acknowledgement of how they were bystanders and that the system failed ppl (if they even go as far as to accept that) it’s just to make the ppl they exploit/ed shut up and be happy that they were even seen in the first place (working class, blm, Palestine, Native Americans etc)

But god do I wish Naruto dived into the isolation of the lack of culture or even the lack of your own ppl can have.

first of all thank you for your support and engagement, it gives joy. feel free to yell at me whenever, i have a naruto so im used to it.

this is also something that used to upset me and now just frustrates me. i technically wasnt the last uchiha until after the war, but itachi and i couldnt communicate, madara cut ties with the clan, and just like me obito left the village as a child. one of the worst things about the genocide was this crushing anxiety of "what will become of our history?" i was old enough to have pride in the concept of "uchiha" but too young to have a meaningful understanding of it. and i guess deep down thats what contributed to my steady depersonalization and increasing franticness-- i knew there was really nothing i could do to preserve my clan so at least i needed to preserve their honour (and this was also why i understand itachi's reasons for not sharing the truth).

all this to say, my heart breaks for naruto because he doesnt even know what he doesnt know. and like you said, thats mostly a function of how konoha chose to operate. i still dont understand why they couldnt at least tell naruto about his mom. i dont understand why jiraiya didnt come back to teach him sealing. but i do know why and its because the shinobi system works best if you dont see yourself as an individual first. everything you are and have needs to belong to the state, and if it doesnt, then they will eliminate it. konoha took advantage of the genocide in uzushio to essentially traffic their women and then say there was "friendship" between the two villages...then do nothing to preserve the uzumaki or uzushio history. disgusting.

youre making sense. ive actually thought that naruto's case is similar to children from asia who were trafficked and brought to western countries post-war, completely removed from their culture and often neglected and abused for a culture they couldnt even own. i think the uchiha are a bit similar to african americans given the systematic lack of consideration for contributions to the development of society, the war between respectability/assimilation and self-determination/anti-discrimination, and like you said the commodification and demonization of culture. and i do agree with you about naruto, but i think it also helps him sometimes. for better or for worse hes...simple. he doesnt think too much about things he doesnt know, and that helps him get through his days with less of a load. he does have his bad days, where hes...lost, but if he were any other way he wouldnt be naruto. luckily the boruto versions of us arent real, but even then i think they make sense given what they were trying to accomplish with that show (ie. dumb down everything for the Manly Men who didnt get what was happening the first time).

when i was traveling after the war i did try to do some preliminary investigation into existing uzumaki refugees and diaspora, but it was a bit difficult though due to their history. ive been thinking about putting together an extended campaign and mission for us to reunify the uzumaki, for his birthday. i just need to figure out how best to go about it. keep it a secret between us.

[teeth-cable]

i love niffty but as an east asian i feel like niffty's redesign doesnt rlly help the racism either tbh. idk how to word this properly but the fact her skin is pure white doesnt sit right w/ me...talked about this w/ my brother a while ago and we both agreed it didnt fix it much either (could be misremembering but he mention that it felt stereotypical). +unrelated but also god i really dislike the new red in her redesign. its so boring compared to the bright red imo

another problem i have abt her character is that you cant tell shes japanese at all, you would have to go to niffty's fandom wiki to learn shes supposed to be japanese. it just feels like vivziepop just decided niffty's ethnicity randomly before adding elements that shes japanese first. pRAYING that niffty's VA in the show will be replaced w/ someone actually japanese and not a white woman who just speaks the language

hopefully this doesnt read like word salad plyucjwjeid

It was a lazy change, out of all the colors for Niffty's new skin, pink, purple, green, etc they chose to make her white, it doesn't feel thoughtful. They quietly change her skintone and didn't addressed or apologize for their actions.

Viv doesn't realized she has a responsibility for her POCs characters. She has to treat them with respect, consult with POCs about the characters, do a heavy amount of research, and design them appropriately. It's so clear Niffty wasn't originally design or written to be Japanese but her official redesign have no excuse to not have any Japanese elements. It could have be subtle like the type of jewelry she's wearing, how she styles her hair or clothes, does her makeup, or she's speaking in slang. There are no clues to let the audiences know she's supposed to Japanese, the majority of the fandom thinks she's white. The red in her redesign is so annoying since there are no colors beside white to balance out the red.

I have no idea why Viv thought if Niffty was supposed to Japanese to hire a white woman who can speak Japanese to VA her. Again, a white woman won't know the mannerism, slang, and the different dialects of Japanese that a Japanese VA would also if the character's cultures are important to the them and the show, no white woman should VA Niffty because they can't related to the culture and experiences, it is only for a Japanese VA to tell and voice.

[dudenastii]

i cld be like. wrong here but i thought gortash didnt have a canon race or ethnicity? beyond being coded as turkish but even then the whiteness of turkish ppl is debated. super shitty and questionable that ppl are just throwing around racism accusations over reasonable things 2 hate his character for but it seems suspicious as hell that larian would make him one of the worst villains and also make him even remotely ethnic looking you feel me? same with cazador and saverok and the gur. lots of choices they made with their villains are questionable at best and bigoted at worst.

so for me, he doesn't read being coded any race (though I know people have pointed out his feature can be liked to turkish men or arabic men (ive personally never seen this but posts i rebloged talking about this have).

I can't imagine him as anything but white simply because I'm not painting a slaver/tryant as a man of color. Cazador's og design was kara-tur (very obvious racist chinese dnd shit) and he still does have coded features.

I mean maybe he doesnt have a canon race but like still c'mon its fucking stupid to make him a brown man. I can totally correct the post if that leap bothers ppl that much but my logic still stands. Larian is like every other company and does shit for money lets be very clear.

so yeah to me hes a white guy and looks like a white guy with a tan (bc there are literally ppl in my white bio family that look like him so the turkish coding is ??? to me, it's better to regard that to turkish person bc i dont know enough of about turkish culture to say anything but larian/dnd as whole has a lot of orientialism going on)

this dude isntantly reminded me of fucking simon cowell. Also idk if this like agreeing that he shouldnt be depicted as brown or what but look at the previous posts on my blog they can explain this better.

I'm just sick of people dick riding the most abusive cunts they possibly can find in every media and I was angry posting. But ur right im kinda doin what theyre doing by saying hes explicitly white but i'd honestly rather that then a post saying hes explicitly brown (or as another person put it "could be brown if u squint")

I admit i was just really mad and went a lil sicko mode ( my bad i did tag it in the tag lol)

but anyways, hes a white dude until proven else wise TO ME.

[thesugarhole]

sanrio?? hello??

violin* and obsessed with money???? since when??? i mean. alright. i can give the violin to him AND cherry but its like, very barely there violin??

me to the sanrio ceo: "berry is violin" shut up if youve seen the stuff kuromi circa 2006 used to do youd hurl

also i dont think wallet status has ever been mentioned about these guys... in any media/franchise. they live in an abandoned looking mansion for the halloween aesthetic, not because of money. i can believe 'obsessed with money' but not 'poor'

hoping its either just google mistranslations or some recent developments ive been blissfully unaware of

>cinnamon

>her

its mistranslations. also this is personal headcanoning time based on how often the confusion happens but man you cant do this to cinnamon notorious trans man icon cinnamon. if he doesnt mind it then ill mind it for him djkhfdksj 'cherry is competitive and selfish' is correct btw this has always been her description. well maybe not competitive but definitely selfish. iirc it was always around "berry is stubborn cherry is selfish and theyre both tsundere" genuinely dont know where violin came from its gotta be a mistranslation on the nuisanse/stubborn aspect. i also dunno where 'weakness is strong-willed girls' came from, it might be talking about his friendship with cherry and how he might given in easier to what she tells him (at least i choose to think so) so i got no comment on it

all the pronouns being mismatched is so funny man come on shjfhdgfdsjvfdsjv is this profile using some sort of neutral language that left google confused as hell?

i. uh? should i be worried about espresso?

this ones... correct? espresso is more of a culture savant than a celebrity.... anyway berry if you kick him out there will be no one there to make you the food you love

nope! its magic and mirror manipulation. pranking is their hobby and favorite pass time but their magic is not limited to just the -its joke- context (sorry to once again quote the worst season ever of OMM, but they both tried to help out bakus family by making a photo of food they had emit scent, so the family would have an easier time eating plain rice. no jokering no jestering no clowning no malicious behavior whatsoever).

i remember being mentioned in older descriptions that berry had some potion making proficiency but they havent focused in that in years so who cares now amirite. i dont remember if cherry had any sort of distinction like this, theyve always overfocused on her crush on espresso :pensive:

"what about cherry"

"who? oh idk write smth about espresso again"

(hobbies include PRANKS, attempting to make friends (a general trait) making music (2018 rankings), having ballroom parties (cinnamon trip!! by oster project) and watching sentai/magical girl anime (onegai my melody). berrys particular hobby is to mess with cinnamon, cherrys particular hobby is to go after espresso. i guess.) (but again most of these are old one offs, and currently unfocused aspects of theirs so. whatever)

also i really would like to know the plans about the alt designs for them that are technically their true form and always show in their shadows and (sometimes?) in mirror reflections. it hasnt been completely dropped but, its never been hard defined either so idk. i guess i feel a bit bummed that its also been attempted to be forgotten to time because (to me feel at least) it feels very obviously based on the episode kuromi turned herself into a human and it could be something they were trying to establish to devil inspired characters back then.

thanks for coming to the lloromannic autism hour its nice to think about something else other than current personal events sometimes

*censorship