#but as someone raised to mr./mrs. anyone in a position of authority it sometimes feels weird to use first names in a semiformal setting

[thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname]

quick question for anyone who sees this who goes to college or has insight:

how do I address faculty in emails if they haven’t explicitly told me? I typically go with “Professor (lastname)” unless the have some other title (Dr., etc.), but how about academic advisors and so on? If they sign off emails with only their first name, is it safe to address them by their first name?

[lubdubsworld]

物の哀れ ( ‘the sadness of things’.)

Characters : Alpha! Jungkook x Omega ! OC.

Genre : Arranged Marriage / Temporary contractual Marriage.

Warnings : Non- Con/ Extremely Dubious Consent . High functioning alcoholism. Genre related consent issues. Implied suicidal thoughts.

Summary : A recently widowed Jungkook agrees to a contract marriage to keep his company afloat. His grief overwhelms him and it is hard to look at his new wife as anything other than an intruder .

[  Author’s Note :  物の哀れ ~ Mono no aware can be translated as ‘the sadness of things’. It comes from the words 物 (mono – thing) and 哀れ (aware – poignancy or pathos). The ‘sadness’ in question comes from an awareness of the transience of things, as taught by Zen Buddhism. When we view something exceptionally beautiful, we might feel sad because we know it won’t stay so beautiful forever – but appreciation only heightens the pleasure we take in the beautiful thing in that moment. ]

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Chapter 3

“Yoongi left a bunch of painkillers for you. He said you can take up to three per day.” Jin said calmly , carefully slipping the sleeves of my t shirt over my wrist as i held my arms out for him. He slipped the shirt over my head gently but his arms hit my shoulders, jostling me.   I swallowed the whimper of pain that shot through me at the movement. Mina was now awake, happily wiggling around on her rocker. 

It was a little past seven in the evening and Jungkook wasn’t due to arrive for another hour . 

“I could sleep on a bed of rusty nails right now. I’m so tired and i don’t know why. “ I whispered, staying still as he carefully drew the fabric down over my ribs, before stepping back. 

“I’ll sleep in the nursery with her. You should take the bed. You’re in no shape to be up and taking care of her when she wakes up. Jungkook’s asked me to stay here during the day because I’m not going to be performing for a couple months anyway and I’ve been losing my mind, rattling around that huge ass mansion all by myself. ” 

The phone rang, startling both of us. 

I groaned before moving to get up but Jin oppa held a hand up.

“Stay in bed. I’ll go see who it is.” 

I watched him disappear out of the room, settling back against the pillows and reaching for the ice pack in the small cooler by the bed. I had to ice my ribs every hour or so and while it didn’t seem to be helping much, I definitely appreciated the temporary numbness it offered. 

Jungkook’s guilt had driven a new wedge between us and he hadn’t so much as looked at me in three days. 

I wasn’t sure entirely if this was a good or bad thing. The fact that he seemed to be considering that he had to get his emotions under control to stop hurting the people around him was a welcome change. But the idea of going back to being ignored and treated like furniture , wasn’t really all that appealing. 

“Jungkook’s parents are on the way.” Jin’s voice broke through my reverie and i jumped. 

I resisted the urge to sob out loud . 

Mr and Mrs. Jeon were on the opposite side of the grief spectrum and just as annoying. 

Where Sooah’s parents were intent on making Jungkook remember their daughter as often as possible, Jungkook’s parents were intent on making him forget her. 

The only thing the two of them had in common was a burning hatred for me. 

Jungkook’s parents had wanted him to quit the company and sell it when it went into loss but Jungkook had categorically refused because that would result in all of his employees getting laid off, and back then Jungkook had been nothing if not ridiculously compassionate. Jungkook’s parents firmly believed that if it hadn’t been for me, their son would be back in Busan, letting them raise their granddaughter. 

“Great, that’s great. Did you tell them their son is not around?” I grimaced. I’d only met them three times in total and the last time was in the hospital two months ago when Jungkook had crashed in the middle of a board meeting, weeks of starving and dehydration catching up to him. It hadn’t been a pleasant experience, getting cursed out in front of the doctors and nurses and it probably won’t be any fun in the privacy of my home either. 

Jin gave me a sympathetic smile. 

“He’s already told them he’s on the way. I’m going to take Mina out on a walk. Give you guys some privacy. Shoot me a text when they leave.” he said gently. 

“Can’t I come with?” I begged and he laughed. 

“That would be a bad idea, even if it weren’t for the cracked rib. Just relax. Smile and nod and let them spew whatever nonsense they want and then they’ll leave. ” 

I opened my mouth to tell him how many flaws there were in his plan when the doorbell rang. 

“And that’s my cue. Text me, yeah?” Jin moved to pick Mina up from the rocker before reaching for the baby carrier on the table. 

I debated the pros and cons of staying in bed and finally decided against it, gently throwing my legs off the edge and raising myself up to a sitting position. I heard vague voices by the front door, Jin’s sweet tones mingling with Jungkook’s slightly gruffer ones. 

I heard the door close and the stillness of the apartment was as oppressing as ever. I could hear him quite clearly though. The clink of the keys as they hit the bowl, the small click of the door as he locked it. 

i could imagine him, exhausted from the day’s work, briefcase held in one hand while the other tugged on the knot of his tie. 

I imagined for a second, what it must have been like for him with Sooah. She was a bright , incredibly cheerful person. Everyone kind of faded into the background when she was around. Sooah had always been the first to smile at a stranger, the first to laugh even if the joke wasn’t funny. The first one to stand up to help someone in need. 

I swallowed, clutching the sheets to ground myself. 

I guessed that she must’ve always rushed to greet him at the door. I could imagine him wrapping both arms around her waist, drawing her into a hug or even a kiss. 

 How was your day, Kookie?  (I’d heard her call him that, once when they had been at my father’s house for a charity dinner. )

I wondered if perhaps the very sight of her would have taken away all of the day’s exhaustion from him. Perhaps, he would forget all the ways his company had been failing back then at the sight of her beautiful laughing face. Perhaps losing his company hadn’t been as terrifying as losing his job.  

And perhaps once he lost her, he just couldn’t bear the thought of losing his life’s work too. And so he’d agreed to meet my father’s demands. 

My fingers began trembling a bit .

I could imagine her moving around the house, pregnant and glowing, laughing as he nuzzled into the curve of her belly. Had he perhaps pressed his lips to her skin, whispered sweet endearments to his daughter through the fabric of his wife’s clothes? Had he perhaps loved Mina, deeply? WAs it just his grief that made it hard to be near his wife. Or was it perhaps me? Me holding the baby that should have been in his beautiful wife’s arms. 

The wife he had been so madly, deeply in love with. 

Love, I thought vacantly.

It wasn’t something I had ever felt, for anyone until I’d began caring for Mina.

But what Jungkook had with his wife was something different wasn’t it? 

The love a man had for a woman. Laced with desire, longing and passion. A love that made you put their happiness over your own.  

Love like that had never been in the cards for me. 

Ever

I was an Omega. Rare and hated and known for being selfish and greedy. People didn’t love my kind. They avoided me. They always assumed I would take advantage of them. My peers growing up had treated me with so much contempt. 

 The girls would whisper how I was trying to seduce their boyfriends. The boys would call me a tease, even when I stayed far away and did nothing to attract their attention. I’d gotten used to it. It didn’t bother me. it was the way of the world for me. Ad it wasn’t like I could honestly deny some of it. 

I looked at handsome alphas and wanted them. I wanted to be held and cherished. To be bought pretty things and cared for. It had taken decades for me to beat that part of mine into submission. To remind myself that if I ever let that part of me out, it would destroy me. 

But love? Being in love with someone? 

I didn’t know what that could have been like for Jungkook. 

Or maybe I had but I couldn’t recognize it because I’d never received it myself. Whatever the cause, it was for me, a fairytale. It was hard to imagine people loving each other so much, to the extent that they would die for each other. ( Jungkook’s words still hung in the back of my mind : that he had wanted to follow her even in death ) 

Jungkook was right.

I could never know what his loss was like. 

Because I would never know what he had lost. 

It felt a little like being dipped in an ice cold lake in the middle of winter. My skin broke out in shivers, hair standing on end and I felt my throat go dry so swiftly. I’d never wanted to run away so much. I wrapped a hand sound myself, scooting back on the bed again. I reached for the blanket, wanting to pull it over my head and curl into a ball. 

Shut out the world and all the things that didn’t make sense. 

“Are you alright?” Jungkook’s voice broke through the haze in my head and I swallowed. He had an alpha’s voice and my body responded even if my mind resisted. It didn’t happen all the time. Jungkook couldn’t control me. But sometimes when I was feeling vulnerable, instincts took over . I was already dropping the blanket and smiling softly.

“Mina’s out for a walk.” I croaked out, surprised at how awful my voice sounded. 

I felt the press of something against my fingers and I blinked, staring at the glass of water Jungkook was pressing into my hand.

“Don’t worry, I called them and told them not to come over.” He said quietly , watching me drink with still trembling fingers. 

I swallowed and stared at him. 

“I... Thank you. “ I said fervently, feeling a few knots come undone in my gut. I couldn’t really stand up to Jungkook’s parents the way I did with Sooah’s parents. Because Jungkook loved them deeply and hurting them would be the same as hurting him. 

“There’s a party in a couple of days. It’s my birthday. I’m turning 34.  Yugyeom’s organizing the whole thing, so I’m going to hire a babysitter for Mina, because Jin hyung will be there too and you need help caring for her anyway. You can stay home and rest. ” he said . 

I scoffed. 

“I’m going to come with you.” I said firmly. 

Jungkook frowned. 

“What?” 

I glared at him. 

“I’m not letting you go to a party organized by your shit for brains friend, Jungkook. You’ll probably end up getting drunk out of your mind and killing someone and I’m not going to hang around to clean that up. I’m coming to that party and I’m making sure you don’t have more than one drink.  “

Jungkook’s frown deepened into a scowl. 

Did you ever look at your wife , like this? With so much loathing? I thought stupidly. Or did she only ever get to see the sweet and wonderful side of you? Did she ever annoy you the way i seem to every second of the damn day ? Did you hate certain things about her too? Or was she so perfect that you could only feel love ? 

“ I can take care of myself. Its my birthday , I can do whatever the fuck I want.“ He snapped. 

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. 

“Not unless you’re a five year old kid in the sandpit, which you’re not. You’re an adult and when you make stupid decisions as an adult, very real people end up paying for it. You’re old enough to know this Jungkook and for once, just listen to me. You can drink, fine. But I’m going to be there and if I see that you’re getting drunk, I’m going to bring you home. You either agree or I’m going to call Yoongi oppa .” 

That made him pause. 

“Fine. Fuck you.” He snapped, turning on his heel and stalking out of the room. A few seconds later I heard the door to the shower slam shut.  

 I wanted to follow him and shake some sense into him but before I could decide if it was worth jostling my body, when another sharp pain lanced through my ribs.

Oh great. 

I took deep breaths the way Yoongi had taught me. Apparently, pneumonia was a thing that could happen, so i had to breath carefully to reduce the risk of that happening. 

The birthday party organized by Yugyeom was going to be a whole entire migraine inducing disaster. I could already feel the headache come on. It still amazed me that Jungkook was friends with him and his cronies. 

Yugyeom and his friends were the typical; brain dead alphas who thought themselves superior to all other ranks. Even worse, they viewed omegas as objects: fucktoys to be more precise and I bristled when i remembered the way he had always stared at me. 

Well, if he stepped anywhere near me, I would kick him in the teeth. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Jungkook’s mother turned up at home the next day, I wasn’t entirely surprised. I wasn’t surprised but it didn’t make things any more pleasant. 

“We’re willing to take Mina for a couple of days if you would both need time to prepare for the party. This is the first big event Jungkook’s holding after Sooah’s passing and we want it to be perfect. As his wife, i hope you’ll do your part.” 

Mrs Jeon’s pinched face did nothing for my already frayed temper. 

“There’s not much i can do with a cracked rib, mother.” I said politely. It stung, having to call this bitter, cruel woman mother but then, such was life. It was late afternoon and Jungkook was probably sitting in the comfort of his air conditioned office, being flattered and doted on by his smitten secretary while I sat here entertaining his vicious mother. 

“Nonsense, you’ve probably just scratched it. I know how you omegas like to exaggerate. “ she waved off my injury easily. “ There are so many details that need to be decided on and its unfair to drop all of those responsibilities on poor yugyeom’s head. Why don’t you go with him and help out a bit?” 

The idea of going anywhere with Kim Yugeom was easily the most repugnant thing to me. 

“I’m sure he knows Jungkook much better than I do. If i interfered, I’d only be getting in his way.” I said politely. 

Mrs. Jeon hummed.

“Well, its good that he’s agreed to the party at least. That woman never let him meet with Yugyeom or his friends when she was around.”

That woman being Jungkook’s late wife. 

I felt a sudden fondness for her. Clearly she had also recognized Yugyeom for the absolute pig that he was and kept her husband away from his rotten influence . But unlike with her, Jungkook didn’t actually care about me. So I had no way of stopping him from meeting the idiots. Yugyeom’s family was rich and reputed and it was clear that the Jeons wanted the friendship and the connection. Why else would they keep pushing for it so much?

“Is there any particular reason you’re here, mother?” I said finally, after hearing her babble on and on about caterers and invitations and what not. 

“I was hoping to meet Mina...why isn’t she here?” 

“I’m not able to care for her well, what with the rib. The doctor has advised me to rest so Jin oppa takes care of her during the day. Jungkook picks her back up on his way back from office. I can send her over to your place with him this weekend.” 

“That would be fine i suppose. Have you spoken to the decorators about changing the portraits put up in the house?”

I blinked.

“Sorry?”

“The penthouse, we’ve got it back now right? why don’t you move there. We have a cook and a housekeeper .”]

“this is closer to Jungkook’s office.” I had no idea where the penthouse was and could only hope it was farther way. 

Mrs. Jeon frowned. 

“This apartment is too small. Not to mention, you still have Sooah’s photos everywhere in this place. Surely that’s not healthy. Get rid of them and put up pictures of you and Jungkook.” 

Jungkook’s parents didn’t know that our marriage had an expiry date. i wasn’t sure if this was a good or bad thing. But they saw me as nothing more than a way to get rid of Sooah from the deepest recesses of Jungkook’s mind. 

“I’m sure, with time...Jungkook can make that decision by himself. When he’s ready for it.” I said gently, beginning the fresh throb of pain near my temple. 

“Nonsense, Heejin. Men won’t ever move on until you force them. Have you considered getting  pregnant?” 

I jumped about a foot into the air.

“I...what.” I croaked out. 

“You need a child too. He mated you. He owes you that. I’m going to tell him that he better do his duty by you.” She said firmly. 

“Please don’t.” I shouted, stunned out of my mind. Was this woman even sane?

“Why not?” She frowned looking at me like i was the one being unreasonable. 

 Why not? Because its barely been four months since he lost his wife of seven years to childbirth. Surely, you don’t think the remedy to that is to have him go through it all over again. 

 “ Mina is still small, mother. I’m sure we can wait a while. Maybe after she’s one or two.” 

 Jungkook would probably move on by then. Of course he would. Grief was overwhelming but it was also finite. It did get smaller over time. Easier to cope with. Jungkook would eventually be able to navigate his life around his grief. He would learn to make new connections and who was to say one of those wouldn’t be a compatible match? 

So two years from now, there was no reason Jungkook shouldn’t meet another lovely woman, a beta maybe and eventually expand his family. Of course i would be nowhere in the picture at the time. But that was fine. 

I remembered something I’d read somewhere, a while back. 

 If two people are like ships that pass in the night, they meet by chance for a short time , then do not see each other ever again. 

Like ships passing by each other in the night,  I reminded myself. That's what Jungkook and I were. 

“Well, if you think that’s wise.... fine. But now that Jungkook’s doing well, why don’t you entertain people more often? You haven’t had a dinner party here yet, have you?”

And so it went on, over an over for a whole two hours until I was wrung out from sheer exhaustion, my head throbbing and nails having dug half moon indents into my palms from fisting my hands too hard. 

By the time i finally closed the door on her face, I couldn’t help but sag against the door, sinking to the floor in a heap, cracked rib be damned. 

I glanced up at the solo portrait on the wall. The one my mother in law had wanted gone. 

“She must’ve really hated you, huh?” I said casually pulling myself up to my feet and moving to the dining space to stare at her face more closely. 

She was dressed in her wedding gown, a fitted mermaid dress with lace and satin detailing. She had a bouquet of white lilies in one hand, elbows bent and the blooms resting on her shoulder while her other hand curved around her slender waist. 

Beautiful was an understatement, I thought vacantly. 

“ You look like you didn’t put up with people’s bullshit. That’s cool I guess.” I smiled a little. “ You know in another world, we may have been friends.” 

I bit my lips.

“Yugyeom was shitty to you too huh? He seems the type. i’m glad you kept Jungkook away from him. I wish you’d somehow help get him away again. He doesn’t listen to me. Thinks I’m trying to control him or something. ”

It was ridiculous. What was i doing.. Why was i talking to a framed picture on the wall. God.

But now that I’d started, I couldn’t quite stop.

“About what happened with Jungkook... I don’t want you to think i was seducing him or anything. And when i said that I hated him calling your name when we... well you know why i said it right? It wasn’t anything personal...i was just pissed. I don’t enjoy the sex by the way... I don’t think he does either but he’s an alpha and you know how it is…they need that release or they kind of lose their mind .. So trust me we both hate the principle of it.... but at least he cums and well I don’t. He’s never made me cum. That should say something about how we feel about each other.......”

“Uh.. Should I come back later?” The voice near the doorway was so unexpected my heart jumped right to my throat and I screamed, stumbling a bit to the side.

Min Yoongi stood framed by the door, one hand wrapped around a bouquet of flowers and the other clutching his bag and stethoscope. He still had his white coat on over his shirt and slacks, hair mussed like he’d run his finger through it.

It took me a second to remember that Yoongi had a key to the house.

Another second to remember exactly what I’d been doing when he came inside.

Good God.

Had he heard the part where I’d talked about Jungkook not making me cum? Surely not? Oh Please no. 

“Jungkook told me to check on you. That you couldn’t sleep last night? Are you in a lot of pain?” 

Jungkook and I had shared the bed in his room last night and I had apparently, tossed and turned and whimpered through the night in pain. Or so Jungkook claimed. 

“Uh... I’m not sure. He said so... so..” 

“you guys sleep together right?” Yoongi asked casually, taking his coat off. I stared at the way the material of the shirt strained over his shoulders, my throat just a little dry. 

Yoongi smelled so ridiculously good. He was a doctor and he was so handsome and kind to me. The attraction would have been there even if i had been a beta but as an omega, the urge to just fling myself at him and beg him to make me his, it was kind of horrifying. 

Tamping down that part of me, I gave him a casual shrug, heart still pounding. 

“Yeah. There’s just two bedrooms here and one is Mina’s nursery. So ...” I finished awkwardly, watching him move around and place his bag on the table before unwinding the stethoscope, placing it around his collar. 

He gave me a small smile. 

“I’ll just take a quick look and check how your breathing sounds. that okay?” He asked gently. 

“Oh... sure. You need me to take my shirt off?” I asked curiously. 

He gave me a quick little smirk. 

“Not for medical reasons no.” He winked. 

I felt blood rush to my face along with guilt. What was I doing? This was Jungkook’s best friend!! His hyung. Someone he trusted and I was his....

His what? 

Nothing. I was Jungkook’s nothing. When was the last time someone had flirted with me . Someone who wasn’t a grade A creep. 

Yoongi moved closer, sitting down on the kitchen stool and beckoned me to come stand between his thighs. i moved, achingly aware of how much more potent his scent was up close. He looked up at me through sooty black lashes, a small smirk on his lips, feline eyes warm and open . 

“Put your hands on my shoulders, yeah?” He prompted. 

I hesitated, fingers shaking just a little before reaching out to rest on this shirt. I kept the touch feather light , the softness of his shirt the only thing I could feel.

He hummed and bending  down to lightly tug the hem of my shirt out of the waistline of my jeans. I bit my lips to stop myself from squirming. 

He glanced up , eyes meeting mine and holding my gaze. 

“You good?” 

“Uhuhbuh.” I stuttered and he grinned wider, pulling the fabric up to the curve of my breasts. He lightly ran his finger tips over the bruised skin , humming thoughtfully .

“You’ll be fine in a few weeks. Hang on.” He pulled back, plugging the steth in his hear before holding the other end up to my chest. He pressed it against my skin, just before the underwire of my bra and it was unexpectedly cold .

I jumped, fingers curling on his shoulder and squeezing down. 

“Hey.. what’s wrong?” Yoongi whispered, hands reaching for my waist, gently holding me steady and I flushed. He looked genuinely worried , lips turned down and brows furrowed and i felt absolutely stupid. 

“Sorry. Sorry.... It’s nothing.. i just.. it’s a little cold.” I laughed nervously and his gaze softened. 

One hand still curved around my waist, he brought the diaphragm up to his mouth, holding my gaze as he gently breathed warm air all over it. 

My throat went instantly dry and i had to swallow. He pressed it against my chest again and this time it was so much warmer. .

“Better?” He prompted and i nodded, guilt and discomfort churning in my stomach. What was i doing? I had no business indulging him. i had no business indulging any man. Ever.

 I looked away, pulling my hands up off his shoulder, pushing his hand off my hip as well . He didn’t say anything his shoulders stiffened at the subtle rejection. 

A mantle of awkward tension settled over us, a small thundercloud of regret and that threatened to rain misery all over us. I wanted to kick myself.  He was older than Jungkook by four years. Thirty eight years old. 

Did he have a girlfriend? Oh god, what if he was martried?

Nausea threatened. 

“Your breathing sounds fine. Are you practicing those breathing exercises , I taught you?” He asked casually and I nodded . I couldn’t trust myself to speak. 

“Hey...” He said gently and I flinched. 

“I’m sorry.” I blurted out. “ I didn’t mean to lead you on or tease you in any way and I’m sorry if i came on to you ...”

“What?! Heejin, stop. That’s bullshit. You never did any such thing. This was all me.” He said firmly. 

I stared at him.

“I know you’re married but... your marriage, its going to end right? Eventually.” 

I made to step back but he grabbed my waist again, this time a few inches over my jean and his fingers on the bare skin of my midriff made me want to melt. He had long slender fingers, a surgeons hands, and the press of it on my skin felt so foreign and gentle and different and good. 

“We don’t have to do anything. I just... I thought we could get to know each other. Over coffee or dinner.”

I wanted to sob at the unfairness of it all.

Because Yoongi was beautiful and handsome and so good and so much more than I could ever even dream of,  but he was and would always be so intricately woven with Jungkook and with Jungkook’s life. And I couldn’t imagine anything more messy than sticking around and watching Jungkook and his daughter forget me and move on.

“It’s.... probably a terrible idea. “ I said roughly, shaking my head. “ Its the kind of idea that would never end well.” 

“Are you sure? Because unlike Jungkook, i could probably make you cum.” He winked and I felt my face flame red. 

“Oh God...” I hissed, stumbling back. This time he let me move away, merely chuckling and reaching for his coat and bag . 

“I won’t bother you again. But the offer’s always open, yeah?” He smiled again. “ You need me to send over more pain meds?”

I shook my head mutely, begging him to just leave already. 

He nodded and held his hand up in a casual wave before walking out of the door. I collapsed on the stool and dropped my head into my arms , groaning. 

What had i gotten myself into. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn’t actually see Jungkook for a couple of days. The meds knocked me out and he worked overtime, only arriving after I’d slept off and leaving before i woke up. Jin brought Mina around everyday and there was something absolutely exhilarating about watching her clutch at her little teething toys and rattles, gummy smile peeking out every few minutes. 

On a whim, i told Jin what had happened with Yoongi and much to my surprise he actually laughed. 

“About time . He’s been pining for what three years now?” 

I gaped at him, completely thrown.

“I..he.. what.” I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around what I had heard. 

“He saw you at that art exhibition you put up in the Hyatt . By the way, don’t you paint anymore?”

I flushed. 

I had no proper response to that. What could i say? That my painting had just been yet another way to control me, only appreciated by father when he could use it to make more money. And that part of my marriage contract included that I wouldn’t paint or make any money off my art for the duration that I stayed with Jungkook. 

It was just yet another way my father reminded me that he controlled him. I didn’t fight him because he would win anyway. And the only thing he loved more than controlling people was winning battles that were always rigged in his favor. i wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. I would soldier through this awful marriage and at the end of it , i would disappear without a trace. 

I shook my head vaguely and Jin hummed. 

“Yoongi doesn’t understand art but he hung around the entire nine hours , morning to night . Three whole days of him just pretending to look at the artwork while secretly making moon eyes at you.”

I could only stare in sheer disbelief. 

“i... i never knew.” 

“How could you? Yoongi’s idea of courting is pretending he doesn’t exist and fading into the background. “ Jin rolled his eyes. “ He tried approaching your father to officially court you but your old man shut that down rather brutally.” 

I swallowed . 

“I... I’m sorry.” i said feeling foolish. Three years...what? I couldn’t think beyond the shock of the information. 

“Does Jungkook know?” I asked , scared. 

Jin shook his head.

“Like I said Yoongi never made it known . He was afraid it would make life difficult for you. He didn’t want any rumors around because everyone knew your father was looking to offer you to someone rich and young. Yoongi was what , fifteen years older? That’s quite a difference.”

“Thirty eight isn’t old.” I said sharply and Jin’s brow went up. 

“Oh?” He questioned teasingly and I flushed. 

“Jungkook is eleven years older. What’s another four more years?” I shrugged.

“You’re interested then.” Jin said thoughtfully. I recoiled, shaking my head quickly.

“I...what? No. No I’m not. “ 

“Why not? If it isn’t the age, then there’s no reason  to say no. Yoongi is handsome , settled and a great guy all around and besides,  your time with Jungkook is finite right?” 

“I... I won’t cheat on him.” I said firmly. “ i can’t... I... besides, Jungkook and I... we’re... we have sex.” My ears turned red, “ I can’t do that with two guys... I’m not like that. “ 

Jin nodded.

“Its alright.. Heejinah ...I’m sorry if i pressured you or anything. You don’t have to do anything. I know you have a lot on your plate right now. Yoongi probably got carried away . More than likely he’s going to panic and avoid you for a year just to recover.” He laughed and I smiled reluctantly. 

“He’s nice I don’t want to hurt him. “ I said softly. 

“ Sometimes that’s just inevitable . People get hurt no matter what we choose.” Jin gave me a sad little smile. “ Jungkook is just as nice a gy as Yoongi. If not better. He’s just...not in the right headspace to show that side of himself to you. I wish you’d known him before Sooah. He used to be this...playful and funny kid. We all went out of our way to keep him safe. Sooah was just as amazing. Usually , we try to find flaws in people our friends  date right? Well trust me Sooah was hard to dislike .” He laughed, eyes misting over as his gaze landed on her  portrait over the mantle. 

I followed his gaze and swallowed. 

“Do you think Jungkook will ever get over her?” I asked simply. 

Jin hesitated. 

“Someday? Probably yes. But it won’t be easy. He’s ... He feels things deeply. He always has. He loved her deeply, he cared for her deeply and so its only obvious that he’s going to feel the loss of her presence very deeply too.” 

I nodded. 

“Its his birthday tomorrow.” I said softly. “ I have a gift for him. Well its not a gift from me, but a gift nonetheless.  But I’m not sure if I should give it to him.” 

Jin gave me a surprised look. 

“What do you mean?” 

I smiled bitterly.

“Just that sometimes fate can be very cruel when it chooses its players. I’m forever wondering if he would be better off or worse without me in the picture and I just can’t decide.” 

“Different. He would just be different.” Jin said calmly. 

There was nothing else i could say to that. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yugyeom had rented out the rooftop restaurant in one of the poshest Hotels in Seoul and although the party was a pool party, I hadn’t bothered dressing for it. I wore a plain sequined top and burgundy skirt that fanned out around me knees. 

The place was teeming with people his age , friends acquaintances and business partners. The women had changed into bright , skimpy bikinis and lounged about in the brightly lit pool tossing a ball around .

The older people were being hosted by the Jeons on the lower level of the restaurant in a posh ballroom. Jungkook and i would have to visit them later but for now I was content sipping a mocktail, leaning against the bar while Hoseok and Lisa flanked me on either side, pointing out who was sleeping with who. 

Jungkook was in the pool with Yugyeom and Jimin and it was impossible to tear my eyes away from him. He looked happy almost, laughing and shaking water out of his hair as he moved around with the strength and agility of an Olympic athlete. Yoongi was in the pool as well and on the opposite team with Jin and Namjoon....and it was increasingly obvious that the half a dozen bikini clad women were there simply for an excuse to touch the handsome alphas as they worked up a sweat. 

“Jungkook is such a competitive bastard.” Hoseok laughed. “But I don’t know what’s gotten into Yoongi today. i can’t believe he’s in the pool. “

“Of his own volition. “ Lisa added. “ usually someone has to strip him and toss him in. 

Yoongi kept glancing at me every few minutes. It was impossible to miss. It was also impossible to miss that at least three of the six women in the pool were trying to get into his pants. 

I sighed and turned back to the bartender asking for a refill. when i turned back around, Jungkook and Yugyeom were climbing out of the pool and Jin was moving to the opposite side to take their place with Jimin. 

“Jungkook and i are going to go get a drink. Anything for you , beautiful?” Yugyeom reached out to touch me and I almost fell in my haste to get away from him. 

“Keep your hands off me.” I snapped . Jungkook frowned. 

“No need to be rude, Heejin , he was just being polite.” He said softly and i smelt the alcohol on his breath.

“Don’t drink too much Jungkook.”

“Oh come on, beautiful., Its his birthday let him live a little...” Yugyeom laughed and I glared at him.

“I’d rather have him live longer “ I snapped. “ And that can’t happen if you keep trying to give him alcohol poisoning.” 

Yugyeom rolled his eyes. 

“Is she always this dramatic, Jungkook-ah.” Yugyeom laughed. Jungkook didn’t laugh but he gave me a look that said, ‘ please don’t make a scene’ and I bit my lips. 

I didn’t want to ruin his night. He looked ....so close to a normal person tonight and whether I liked it or not Yugyeom had contributed to that. The music was apparently Jungkook’s favorites only, the pool because he loved volleyball in the water and the buffet had all his favorite foods. Yugyeom had gone out of his way to make the party perfect and i suddenly felt like the troll stomping on Jungkook’s happiness. 

Swallowing my own instinct to drag my husband away from the alpha who had his arms around him, I turned away and walked off to the pool. Yoongi’s face lit up when he saw me.

“Hey there, angel. Here to watch me kick some ass? “ He cupped his hands in the water, before tossing a handful of water at me. I blinked in surprise, laughing a little. 

“I’m just here to cheer Jin oppa. “ I said impishly, moving over to the lounge chair near his side of the pool. Yoongi’s pout was adorable and I couldn’t help but laugh. 

Maybe I could stop worrying about Jungkook for a while. Yugyeom wasn’t dangerous. Even if he got a little drunk, I was still here. So were all of our friends. 

It would be fine. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it wasn’t fine. 

An hour later, I found Jungkook in a room filled with cigarette smoke and light music, yugeyom and his friends scattered around the place with a few beautiful women lounging about on their laps. 

“You said one drink Yugyeom...he’s completely out of his mind.” I said shrilly staring at where Jungkook sat on the couch , shirtless and laughing as some girl in a bikini ran her fingers up and down his arm. She had one leg draped over his thigh.  I felt sick at the very sight of it. 

its because he’s drunk ,  I told myself.  He’s drunk and can’t consent, that’s why you feel sick, nothing else.  

Yugyeom gave me an easy smile. 

“Guy just wants to have some fun. Reina’s a friend of mine. She’ll take good care of him don’t worry. She’s the birthday gift i got him. “ He leered. 

I resisted the urge to punch him in the face. 

Glaring at him, 

“Jungkook, we’re leaving. Come on.” I made to move towards him but a hand shot out, gripping my wrist like a vice. 

“Not so fast baby.... I already paid for her. You can’t just waltz in here and take away her livelihood.” He sneered. “ Unless you want to take her place. This is a special bar you know. All these lovelies, they have something in common with you.” 

I stared at him frowning.

“What does that mean?” 

“I hired them from an omega escort agency...you know because that’s all you omegas are useful for anyway.” 

I rolled my eyes, yanking on my wrist. 

“You and your medieval ideals can go to hell. I’m going home. Jungkook!!” I yelled again and this time Jungkook turned eyes landing on me. 

“Heejin?” He slurred. 

“We need to go home, Jungkook.” I said firmly. 

“Now?” He blinked. I nodded. 

“Yes now.” I made to move away but this time Yugyeom wrapped both arms around my waist, pinning me to his body. Pain , sharp and unbearable shot up my ribs and I whimpered. He was squeezing too hard and God what if the cracked rib just snapped? 

Panic began setting in and I yelped.

“Let me go you bastard.” I struggled to get away, staring in disbelief at my husband . 

Jungkook was standing but he swayed dangerously. There was no clarity there and his eyes were hooded. He was drunk. Really, really drunk. 

“Jungkook tell him to let me go!!” I yelled , trying to tamp down the panic that was rising up my throat. 

“Don’t worry Kook. Just gonna ask her to wait outside for a while. Why don’t you finish your conversation with Reina.. i’ll entertain your wife for a while.” He drawled and i felt my entire body go ice cold at that. 

Jungkook was blinking rapidly, the words clearly not registering and genuine terror began to bleed into my veins. Jungkook couldn’t even fathom that i was in genuine danger here, let alone help me. Oh God, why had i come alone? Where were the others??

Yugyeom held me tighter and i swallowed a groan . My ribs felt like they were on fire. 

“Let’s take this somewhere private, Heejin?” He whispered into my neck and i couldn’t believe it. Yugyeom was drunk yes, but was this idiot also insane? 

“Wait...no.. Yugeyom don’t be a fucking idiot. If you touch me, that’s fucking rape...You can go to prison for that .” I shouted, trying to drill some sense into his head. He wasn’t going to risk prison to make a point was he?? 

“Not if you seduce me angel...and you’re going to... Or I’ll just tell people you did...same difference , right?” he whispered. 

And then he began dragging me off to the corner and my eyes fell on a side door leading out of the room . 

 If you let him take you there this is going to become frighteningly real,  a voice screamed in my head and I inhale deeply, ready to scream loud enough to get the attention of everyone in the damned building. 

The door opened just as I opened my mouth and I froze, watching Mrs Jeon walk into the lounge, looking lost.

“What is this place?” She muttered out loud looking around and the arms around me fell away so fast, I crashed to the floor. 

“Heejin-ah!” Yoongi’s voice came from right behind her and I flinched, willing my shaking legs to stop trembling. 

“Mrs. Jeon...” I muttered, voice strained and ribs throbbing. 

“Heejin? What is going on here? Where’s my son?” 

“Fuck... Jungkook-ah...” Yoongi moved to get him and I took a deep steadying breath. 

Years ago , I’d taken a self defence class and one thing i’d definitely enjoyed learning was how to throw a punch. And It wasn’t something i’d forgotten. 

Planting my feet firmly , i lightly rotated my hips, a subtle shift, before engaging my core , drawing all the fury and helpless rage inside me into my fist. I pulled my shoulders in and took a deep breath. Punch past your target , i told myself. You’re not just going to break his jaw you’re going to put him in the hospital tonight. 

“Mrs. Jeon, Jungkook had a great time toni-” His voice was all i needed to hear  to know exactly where his mouth was behind me. 

i relaxed my muscles as i threw the punch, contracting them just as my fist landed on Kim Yugyeom’s face.  

The satisfying sound of flesh on bone felt like music to my ears and Yugyeom’s sharp cry of sheer agonizing pain even sweeter. 

He crashed to the floor in a heap and I could feel my fist throb like hell. I was going to bruise so badly. But it was worth it. 

“That was for telling me that you were going to rape me and tell everyone that i seduced you.” I said calmly. 

Yoongi let out a noise of disbelief. 

“What the actual fuck.....” He shouted. 

“Yugyeom what the fuck man? Are you out of your damned mind?” One of his friends yelled. Yugyeom merely groaned. 

He couldn’t answer, blood trickling down his chin and hands cradling his jaw, whimpers falling out of his  mouth. My own fist throbbed like hell so the damage had to be significant. 

Mrs Jeon looked horrified and when she opened her mouth i quickly held a hand up.

“I’m not doing this. Not tonight. “ I said calmly. Jungkook was quiet, the way he always got when he was drunk and I groaned. 

It was going to be a long night. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“We need to talk.” I said calmly and Jungkook swallowed. 

“Heejin, I’m -”

“Hear me out first Jungkook.” I said sharply. “ I don’t need your apology, it means nothing to me because it means nothing to you. You’re not sorry that you didn’t help me last night. You’re just angry that you had to help at all. You don’t give a fuck about me. I know that and I’m okay with that. What I’m not okay with is you getting drunk to the point that you don’t even recognize that someone’s in need of help. “ 

I took a deep breath. 

“If you did it to me, you’ll do it to your daughter too. Yugyeom is going to get you drunk someday when you’re taking care of Mina by yourself and then when she needs you, what are you going to do?” 

“You’re right... I shouldn’t have gotten that drunk -”

“I’m only here , talking to you , because of your daughter. If it was just you, I wouldn’t give a damn because you’re an adult and if you make your bed , you can just lie on it. It wouldn’t bother me. But Mina...she’s not capable of making the right choices. She need a father who can make the right choices, because whatever shitty choice you make, your daughter is going to be there along for the ride whether she wants to or not. You drive your car off a cliff tomorrow , she’s going to be there in the car seat laughing because she doesn’t know the consequences of your choices. “ 

I clenched my fists to keep my voice even. To stop myself from yelling. 

“I have something for you. “ 

I grabbed the brown paper wrapped canvas from under the table. 

“It’s a painting . Your wife commissioned me to make this a year ago when she got pregnant.” 

He froze so eerily still that it made me nervous.

“At first , i wasn’t sure if i should be giving it to you because well... because i was marrying you ... I wasn’t sure that it would be right, coming from me ...because I was taking your wife’s place after all...”

i laughed. 

“Now I know that's just bullshit. I don’t have a place in your life. I’m a nobody. This isn’t about me. This is about you. She told me back then that you were nervous about being a father. That was all she said. And she wanted me to pain this. “ I held the canvas out to him. 

“You can see it. I’m going to go stay with Jin oppa for a few days. I want you to see it. It shows how your wife saw you. The kind of father she hoped you would be. I want you to see it and make a choice. You can either get the help you need. “ i took a deep breath, “ Or I’m going to tell Yoongi that you’re incompetent to be a father. He’ll file charges , “ I had to close my eyes to get the next words out, “ and you will lose custody of your daughter.” 

Jungkook inhaled sharply, hands curling into fists on his knees. 

“i hope you make the right choice.” 

I wrapped both my arms around myself and walked out. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s note. :

I’m so exhausted I’ll tag people tomorrow! 

.@girlinthemikrokosmos  @xius-exos  @sugainfireslex  @yunkichiee@kpopstudybee @ephyraaaa  @peachoney9795 @ggukkieland  @veronawrites  @blr1004   @tinyhoagiepartylover @btsis7okay@squishyjk  @itsdingdong @emmmui  @honeeybunneey  @yeonkiminnie

@just-me-and-myselfs  @delicate-snow-flake  @kpop-lore  @beautifulvirgobutterfly @sumzysworld  @btsmylife21  @teresaisla

.@melrosaeparker @taestannie @dchimminie  @ meraki--life   @somewhereinthestarss  @mawwnsterr  @kookiesbreaky  @chimchoom 

[idy-ll-ique]

Sweet Little Love.

Pairing: Bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Lil Angst

Warnings: brief mention of violence

Requested: nope

Summary: The Y/L/Ns are a well-off family in New York, and are good friends with Sam Wilson. One day Y/N is threatened by a stalker and needs a bodyguard, so Sam suggests Bucky. Bucky doesn't want to do it; the last thing he wants is to deal with a spoiled, bratty rich girl for a whole month. The only thing is, Bucky has terribly misjudged her and now he can't help falling in love with her.

Author's Note: Hiya peeps! the last scene is just a small bonus crack!scene sjsjsjs lmao, enjoy!

---

If there was one type of person Bucky liked, it was someone who was kind, polite, helpful and caring… and Bucky knew the person he was going to work for was going to be none of those things. "Sam, come on, man, I don't want to do this," Bucky groaned as he followed his best friend down the street. "I already promised, Bucky."

"Why did you?! I don't want to spend my whole day around spoiled little brats, they're the worst!" Bucky threw his hands up in surrender. "Okay, number one: You have to look after only one person and number two: Why don't you just meet her once? Then you can decide for yourself, how about that?"

Bucky had been hired by one of Sam's friends, Mr Y/L/N, as a bodyguard for his daughter. He didn't know the daughter at all; but the one thing he was sure about was that she was going to be a pain in the ass for him, like in every single movie about rich girls and bodyguards. Mouthy, petty, sassy, rude…

He was in no mood to deal with someone like that.

Ms Y/L/N, he assumed, had been sent some threats over a week ago by a stalker and so the poor father was worried sick as he frantically searched for bodyguards. Sam was also informed and before he knew it, James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes was hired. To be honest, the Y/L/Ns were paying a lot so… since he had given up Avenging, the income would be great.

Plus, she only needed protection for around a month or so. Speaking of the daughter, how old was she even going to be? Maybe a child below 10? A rebellious teenager? Who knows? "Alright, stop here. She's supposed to be here somewhere, let me call Y/L/N." Bucky huffed and looked around the crowded streets as Sam contacted the father.

That's when his eyes landed on a lady. She was beautiful; wearing what looked like a tennis skirt and a university hoodie, along with sneakers. Her hair was pulled into a braid and she had a bright smile on her face. Bucky blinked twice and watched. Her body or clothes didn't catch his attention, but her actions sure did.

She was chatting with another, older woman who had coffee spilled all over her white tee. The young lady was holding a baby in her arms, bouncing the sweet child as the older woman hurriedly tried to clean her clothes. Through his super-soldier hearing, he caught their conversation. "I'm so sorry to bother you like this," the woman sighed.

"It's okay, ma'am, you are not a bother. You were clearly in need of help and you know how New York is…" Both women giggled. The older woman soon left with her child but the young lady continued standing there, looking around, as if waiting for someone. Probably a boyfriend, Bucky thought.

"Why is he not picking up?!"

Bucky rolled his eyes at Sam before looking over at the pretty lady again, who had started bouncing back and forth on her heels, glancing everywhere. That's when a loud wail echoed above the already busy street. The lady's eyes snapped towards the voice before she took off running towards a little boy who had tripped over.

The little kid was blond and scrawny, reminding Bucky of a little Steve. He smiled fondly at the memory. "Are you hurt, bubba?" Y/N asked the kid adoringly as she helped him stand. The boy's lower lip wobbled as he tried to hold his tears in but was unsuccessful. "Aw, come here…" Bucky gulped when the lady got on her knees and hugged the child.

She's so kind.

The kid hugged back just as eagerly, sobbing into her shoulder. Soon, two adults approached her; a gay couple, the parents of the kid. They, too, watched with appreciation as the lady easily calmed the kid down with her soothing presence. An involuntary smile bloomed on Bucky's face; if he was in that kid's position, he'd have stopped crying too. The lady was wonderful.

"Thank you so much, honey," one of the men grinned when the lady stood up, dusting her knees and giving the kid a smile. "Oh, it's not a problem! You know what?" She dug around in her purse and pulled out a lollipop. "I always have some on me. I'm a big fan. You?" The boy giggled and eagerly accepted the candy.

"Steve, what do you say?"

Bucky almost laughed. The kid's name was also Steve? Amazing! "Thank you!" Steve exclaimed with a bright smile, making the lady laugh. "No problem! Have a good day!" She waved at the family of three before returning to her original place, standing outside a café. Bucky was enamored at this point.

"Any luck?" he drawled, glancing at Sam who shook his head. "That dick," he grumbled under his breath and Bucky grinned, getting back to watching the pretty lady but she was nowhere to be found. He looked around until he saw her crossing the road, an old man holding her arm with one hand as the other held his walking cane.

She was on his side of the street now, just a few feet away from him. "You are an angel, darling," the old man crooned as he patted her cheek, letting go of her arm once he was safely on the other side. An angel indeed, Bucky smiled to himself. "Oh, sir, I try…" she spoke bashfully, turning in his direction as the man left.

Bucky quickly averted his gaze, he didn't want to look like a creep. "Sam? Sam, is that you? Wilson!" Bucky froze at the lady's voice, her footsteps nearing the place where he and Sam were standing. Wait, is that...? Sam looked away from his phone, eyes lighting up as they landed on the lady. "Y/N? When did you arrive?" Bucky watched as they hugged.

"Been here for a long time, dad said you were going to introduce me to my bodyguard today. He's a good friend of yours, right?" Sam turned and motioned towards Bucky. He stepped forward. "Hi, I'm James Barnes," he introduced himself, holding his hand out. He couldn't believe he had called this angel a spoiled, rich brat.

I'm never gonna forgive myself.

"James, nice to meet you! I'm Y/N Y/L/N. Thanks for doing this, I'm probably going to be a burden—" He immediately shook his head. "Oh, no no no, don't say that! I can tell we're going to be good friends." He winked and she couldn't help but giggle. Bucky didn't even correct her on the name, something about the way she said it made a shiver run down his spine.

"Well, um, do we start now, or…?"

"Your choice," he interrupted, hands shoved in the pockets of his coat as he stared at her, heart swelling with affection. "I already feel safe," she half-joked, "Start now. I have a few places to go to…" He was ready to follow her to Hell and back. "Of course." Both of them turned to Sam, who had a knowing smirk on his face.

If it were anyone else Bucky would've given him his infamous glare but Y/N? He was hoping for a connection. "You two enjoy your date— I mean, day. Anyway, what's up with your dad, girl, he's not picking up my calls." Bucky rolled his eyes at the slip up. "He's not? Maybe he's in a meeting. If you want you can go visit."

"Gonna do just that, tell him that his precious little daughter is in safe hands." Y/N looked at Bucky with a huge smile. "No doubt about that! It's getting late, I'll see you later!" Y/N started walking away and Bucky immediately followed with a nod towards Sam. "Hey, um, I saw you, you know?" he blurted out.

"Saw me? Doing what?" Y/N blinked. "You helping the lady with the child, the kid who tripped over— Steve, his name was? And the old man you helped cross the street. I just wanna say that was amazing. You're a great person, Y/N, I'm honored to be your bodyguard." She gasped softly and looked away, chewing her bottom lip as she grinned, cheeks heating up.

"Oh, um, it's just— I like to help people. It's how my parents raised me. Yeah, we might be rich but I'm not spoiled. Lots of people think that when I tell them I'm Mr Y/L/N's daughter. It hurts sometimes, you know? People just assume anything about you without even knowing you. That's why I try to be good. I don't want to be a bad person," she rushed out, unconsciously voicing all her insecurities.

Bucky's heart sank in his chest as he let out a dry chuckle. "Ugh, just saying this is gonna make me throw up but I assumed that too. I thought I was gonna work with a spoiled, rich brat. I was horribly, horribly wrong, I hope you can forgive me, doll." She turned to him, but she wasn't mad in the slightest. She even started getting a tiny crush on him, I mean, hey, the man is eye-candy. "It's fine! I forgive you, you didn't know."

"No, it's not fine. I shouldn't have made assumptions, I feel like the biggest ass in the world," he scoffed, looking away from her. "James, please, it's okay. You know now, right? Don't feel bad! Why don't we stop for a coffee on the way?" How could he say no to that?

---

2 weeks passed. Y/N and Bucky became incredibly close friends; Bucky went as far as revealing the truth about himself, how he used to be an Avenger, how he lost his arm, everything. What he didn't expect was her to cry at his story. "You did not deserve to go through that, they did you so dirty…" she sniffled and he hugged her like his life depended on it. It kinda did.

God, if he didn't fall in love the first time they met, he was definitely in love now. "Doll, I'm here now, aren't I? All good— well, maybe not all good." And his face broke into the biggest grin ever when he heard a chuckle from her. "I'm glad you're here." Just those 4 words and Bucky vowed that he was never gonna let her go.

"I'm getting coffee, you wait here. Don't go anywhere else."

"Aye aye, Captain!" Y/N laughed and he smiled back as he entered the café. Y/N stood outside, typing away on her phone when someone suddenly grabbed her by the back of her neck, pulling her into the alley next to the café. She couldn't even scream, breathing was difficult with his hand around her neck.

"We finally meet, sweetheart." Oh, God, it was him. The stalker. Y/N whimpered, struggling to get out of his arms but he only tightened his hold on her. Bucky, Bucky please— Over time, Y/N had grown fond of Bucky. He still asked her to call him James, he said it felt good when she called him that. So she did.

He was so protective of her, almost like she was his girlfriend. He was also handsome; incredibly so, with his stormy blue eyes, his tall and broad figure and razor sharp jaw. His first priority was always her and it made her warm inside. She'd decided to ask him out at the end of the month, but it was looking a bit difficult now.

"Your bodyguard not with you today? What happened, lover's quarrel?" the man smirked tauntingly as Y/N's vision blurred due to lack of oxygen. She blinked back tears, crying again when he tightened his hold on her neck. "Scream all you want, sweetheart, no one's gonna hear it," he laughed.

"Try me."

The man's head whipped to the side only for Bucky's metal fist to connect with his jaw. He fell to the ground with a thud, unconscious at the first punch. Y/N slid down to her knees. Her hands went to her neck, coughing and dry heaving. "Doll? Doll, come here." Bucky felt immense guilt as he gathered her in his arms, carrying her bridal style towards his car.

He left her alone. That was the one thing he wasn't supposed to do. "James…" Y/N wheezed, curling closer to him when he tried to put her in the backseat. "Doll, you have to get in," he insisted but she shook her head. "Not without you. Please." Bucky sighed and got into the backseat, holding Y/N against his chest.

She was pretty shaken up. "I'm so sorry, Y/N." He felt himself tearing up. "No… not your fault… you… coffee… I wasn't… phone…" Bucky handed her a bottle of water when she wheezed again. "Drink up, baby," he whispered as he held the bottle to her lips because she refused to let go of his sweater. After drinking some water her throat felt better.

"Don't go, please, I need you," she sobbed as she completely curled against him, wetting his sweater as she cried in his arms. "You will always have me, doll. I'm not going anywhere. Not again," he assured her as he rubbed her back, wiping his own tears away. All of a sudden, she pulled away and pressed her lips to his. "I love you."

He pulled her in for another kiss, fireworks exploding in his head at the confession. Only two weeks had passed but they were both sure about their feelings. "I love you too, doll. You're mine now, only mine," he groaned against her lips. "Only yours," she agreed, burying her face back in his shoulder as he pulled her impossibly close.

"You're not getting out of my sight ever again."

And he kept his promise.

---

"And then I— where do you think you're going?" Sam blinked as Bucky abruptly stood up, eyes trained on his wife. She gave him a smile and walked out of the room, Bucky following her out like a puppy. "To the bathroom, Sam!" Y/N called out behind her and Sam turned to the parents, blinking in confusion as they roared with laughter.

"Why does she need him there?" Sam asked "Oh, haven't you heard? Bucky hasn't broken the promise he gave Y/N 6 years ago," Mrs Y/L/N explained vaguely. "What promise?" Mr Y/L/N laughed once more. "He told her she was never getting out of sight after the incident. And well…" Y/N and Bucky returned at the exact time as Sam made a face.

"Don't you get tired of him?" Sam groaned as Bucky sat down, pulling his wife on his lap. "Oh no no, it helps that she's as much in love with him as he is with her. They do not get tired of each other," Mrs Y/L/N shook her head with a fond smile. "It helps that he's handsome and aesthetically pleasing to look at," Y/N crooned, squishing her husband's cheeks as he laughed and swatted her hands away.

"Even in the bathroom?!"

"He stands outside as a guard," she shrugged. "Damn. Y'all are weird," Sam muttered, barely catching the book Bucky threw towards him. "Not weird. Just looking out for her, like I promised," he muttered, cheeks flushing. "You do know that the threat was 6 years ago, right? Six!" Sam threw his hands up.

"What if there's a new one?" Bucky countered exasperatedly. Sam only shook his head at the couple before a smile broke out on his face. "I've never seen a couple so in love. You two are cute," he commented as laughter filled the room. No more threats, no more danger.

Just a sweet little family and their sweet little love.

---

A/N: Leave a like if you enjoyed! Thanks for reading!

[fortunatelyfresco]

A Holistic Integration of Type 1 Narcolepsy into the Reading of Moist von Lipwig

Literary Interpretation, Disability, and Finding Yourself Between the Lines

As it goes, "I wrote this for me, but you can read it if you want." It might be a fun ride for anyone who is very interested in Moist von Lipwig, or narcolepsy, or both, and/or anyone who enjoys collecting small details from within a body of work and arranging them into threads that are supportable by the text, without being actually suggested by it.

Personally, I find it very interesting to read the meta behind different headcanons, and see how creators can unintentionally write a character who fits certain criteria. There are only so many traits, after all, and some of them tend to travel in groups! Humans are pattern seekers, etc etc.

The first step of reading Moist von Lipwig as narcoleptic is wanting to read Moist von Lipwig as narcoleptic. Being narcoleptic myself and relating heavily to Moist, this step was very easy. I invite you to take my hand and come along, at least briefly, if you were interested enough to click the readmore.

Once you have taken that step, things start falling into place. At least they do if you're intimately familiar with narcolepsy, or if you first learn about it in detail through, for instance, a Tumblr post with an agenda :)

I'll break this down symptom by symptom, citing only the ones I both have personal experience with and see textual support for.

I'll be using OverDrive's search function to catalogue "evidence" in (the American editions of) Going Postal, Making Money, and Raising Steam, so I might miss passages that don't use certain keywords.

Please take any statements along the lines of "being narcoleptic means X" with a huge grain of salt. Sometimes it's just more succinct. Narcolepsy can manifest in many different ways, and is still being actively studied. Don't base your entire understanding of it on a fandom essay I wrote to cope with the crushing pressures of capitalism. I have not even fully read the scientific studies linked here as sources.

Here we go! Spoilers abound.

I. Excessive Daytime Sleepiness (EDS) and sleep attacks.

Being narcoleptic means (salt now, please) that your brain does not get adequate rest while you sleep, no matter how much you sleep. This is because of a disturbance in the order and length of REM and NREM sleep phases. This leads to constant exhaustion. Some sources describe narcoleptic EDS as "comparable to [the sleepiness] experienced by a healthy individual who has been sleep-deprived continuously for 48–72 hours."

(Source.)

Sleep attacks can come on gradually or suddenly. In my case, I become irritable and easily overwhelmed, and nothing matters except finding a place to lie down. A more severe attack, under the right circumstances, can put me to sleep while I'm actively trying to stay awake and engaged.

Moist refers to 6:45 am as "still nighttime." He is "allergic to the concept of two seven o'clocks in one day" and is "not good at early mornings," and the narration even cites this as "one of the advantages of a life of crime; you didn't have to get up until other people had got the streets aired."

In Going Postal, he repeatedly falls asleep at his desk. I can only find two instances, but the first one describes it as having happened "again," so it happens at least three times over the course of one week. Both of the times I found were after Mr. Pump cleared his apartment, giving him access to a bed, and I can't find any reference to the fire destroying it—just that his office is "missing the whole of one wall." His presumably wooden desk is still intact, even, just "charred."

There's also no build-up either time. No direct narration of the time right before he falls asleep, just retroactive accounting for it.

Which is primarily a function of stories not showing us every boring second, and secondarily one of the smaller ways we're shown Moist being overwhelmed and racing to keep up with himself, but tertiarily it's a great set dressing if you've already decided he's narcoleptic. Sometimes sleep is just a thing that happens, without any deliberate transition. Sometimes you sit down to catch your breath or get some paperwork done, and wake up several hours later.

I've found only one example in GP of Moist waking up in his actual bed at the post office: the morning after being possessed by all the undelivered letters. Presumably either they put him there, or Mr. Pump did.

There are two points in Making Money where Moist, in an effort to be a comforting and/or guiding hand, advises people to get some sleep. First Owlswick Jenkins, and then one of the clerks (Robert) who is worried about Mr. Bent.

I take the optimistic view that this is Moist genuinely caring about these people, not just trying to get them to do what he wants. He has always done some combination of those things (GP opens with him having befriended his jailers, after all), but there's definitely a thread of him learning to treat both himself and those around him more like real people. (See also.)

Looking at this thread through narcolepsy-colored lenses, you get Moist perhaps drawing from his own experiences in an effort to be helpful. In Owlswick or Robert's position, what is something he would want to hear from the man currently in charge of his fate, or at least his job? "Get some sleep."

If we accept this as a pattern, it culminates in Raising Steam, when Moist starts to worry about "Dick Simnel and his band of overworked engineers," fixating particularly on their lack of sleep.

What sleep they got was in sleeping bags, curled up on carriage seats, eating but not eating well, just driven by their watches and their desire to keep the train going.

[...]

"People are going to die if we push them any further," he said to Dick. "You lot would rather work than sleep!"

[...]

The young man swayed in front of him and Moist's tone became gentle. "And I see now that part of my job is to tell you that you need some rest. You've run out of steam, Dick. Look, we're well on the way to Uberwald now, and while it's daylight and we're out of the mountains it's going to be the least risky time to run with minimum crew. We're all going to need our wits about us when we get near the pass. Surely you can take some rest?"

Simnel blinked as if he'd not seen Moist the first time, and said, "Yes, you're right."

And Moist could hear the slurring in the young man's speech, caught him before he fell and dragged him into a sleeping compartment, put him to bed, and noted that the engineer didn't so much fall asleep as somehow flow into it.

Moist then recruits Vimes to help him talk the rest of the engineers into getting some rest. The two of them briefly commiserate about people not realizing how important it is.

"I have to teach that to young coppers. Treasure a night's rest, I always say. Take a nap whenever you can."

"Very good."

II. Insomnia.

This is a lesser-known but very common symptom of narcolepsy. Or a comorbidity, depending on how you look at it. It seems counterintuitive if narcolepsy has been presented to you as "sleeping all the time," but it makes sense once you know it's really a matter of disruption in the brain's ability to regulate sleep cycles.

The case for this symptom is flimsier, and I fully admit I'm just reading my own experience into it. But here are two excerpts from Going Postal that I find quite suitable for my sleepy agenda:

1. "A man of affairs such as he had to learn to sleep in all kinds of situations, often while mobs were looking for him a wall's thickness away."

I latched hard onto this detail the first time I read GP.

At my worst, I could not get more than a couple hours of sleep in my bed. I kept taking naps in the bath because it was one of the few places I could sleep. It seemed to fulfill some of the criteria (isolation, temperature control, etc) that my brain demanded in exchange for playing nice.

We're told over and over again, throughout Moist's books, that he functions best under pressure.

(Brief aside: This is often cited as a reason to interpret Moist as having ADHD, which I'm also fully on board with. Not coincidentally, narcolepsy and ADHD share a few symptoms, have a notable comorbidity rate, and are treated with some of the same medications. Source.)

So again, if you're already inclined to read Moist as narcoleptic, the following is an easy jump:

"Moist thinks he's good at sleeping in strange places under strange circumstances. This is because A) his basis for comparison is a disordered attempt to sleep in normal places under normal circumstances, B) something about danger satisfies his brain into running more smoothly, and C) he's a resourceful person who is 'not given to introspection,' and so is less likely to wonder why his body demands sleep at strange times and more likely to focus on finding a place for that sleep to happen, and chalk this up later as a skill."

And returning briefly to EDS: Why would someone like Moist waste time finding a safe place to sleep while people are actively trying to kill him? At the beginning of GP, he leaves Vetinari's office and immediately goes on the run. In multiple books, when he feels threatened, his brain instinctively launches into complex escape plans. We see him successfully blend into an Ankh-Morpork crowd at least once after becoming a public figure.

So why bother? After all, a safe place to sleep is also a safe place to change clothes, or at least remove whatever distinguishing features he's given himself. Why wouldn't he just become someone else and leave town immediately?

The obvious answer is that sometimes things just happen, and an author doesn't need to know or explain every single detail of a character's past.

I would suggest, though, that one of those things might be Moist reaching a point where sleep is just not optional. A point where he not only doesn't, but can't, care about anything else. Where he is too tired to think straight, too tired to talk his way out of trouble, too tired to even contemplate the long journey from one town to the next.

2. "Moist knew he ought to get some sleep, but he had to be there, too, alive and sparkling."

Sometimes (especially in combination with underlying mental health issues) narcoleptic sleep deprivation can bypass everything I've described so far, and lead straight into a manic state. You won't necessarily find that on Google, but it's been my experience.

That's obviously not what the text is implying. "Alive and sparkling" is just a very relatable description. And we do often see Moist getting away from himself, speaking without thinking, making absurd promises that he justifies immediately afterwards as Just Part Of Being Him, always raising the stakes.

And here are a couple of excerpts from Raising Steam that could be interpreted as Moist being a light sleeper, AKA struggling to get deep sleep:

1. "And slowly Moist shut down, although a part of him was always listening to the rhythm of the rails, listening in his sleep, like a sailor listening to the sounds of the sea."

2. "All Moist's life he'd managed to find a way of sleeping in just about every circumstance and, besides, the guard's van was somehow the hub of the train; and although he didn't know how he did it, he always managed to sleep with half of one ear open."

Moist is exactly the kind of opportunist to see that as a useful tool, isn't he?

III. Hypnagogic and Hypnopompic Hallucinations.

These are hallucinations that come on as you're falling asleep or waking up. They can also happen during REM intrusions while you're awake. My most memorable ones include piano notes, someone calling my name, being trapped in the waves of a large body of water, and a huge truck going over a guard rail and tumbling down a hill. These are often, but not always, accompanied by sleep paralysis (and sleep paralysis is often, but not always, accompanied by hallucinations).

In GP, Moist casually cites his own hallucinations as proof that what is happening at the post office is not one.

"They're all alive! And angry! They talk! It was not a hallucination! I've had hallucinations and they don't hurt!"

Obviously that's not true for everyone, but it's true for Moist, and he has enough experience that he immediately recognizes the difference.

At one point while awake, Moist "[snaps] out of a dream of chandeliers" to realize someone has approached him to talk, while he was busy having visions of what the post office used to look like/could look like again.

Now, that's cheating, because we're probably supposed to assume it's a side effect of being possessed, but... I'm putting it here anyway.

There is also perhaps a case to be made for the tendency of Moist's internal monologue to lapse into extremely specific and prolonged hypotheticals. The lines between hallucinations, waking dreams, and "regular" daydreams have always been very blurry to me. I'm especially curious about the example at the end of Going Postal, which goes like this:

"Look, I know what I'm like," he said. "I'm not the person everyone thinks I am. I just wanted to prove to myself I'm not like Gilt. More than a hammer, you understand? But I'm still a fraud by trade. I thought you knew that. I can fake sincerity so well that even I can't tell. I mess with people's heads—"

"You're fooling no one but yourself," said Miss Dearheart, and reached for his hand.

Moist shook her off, and ran out of the building, out of the city, and back to his old life, or lives, always moving on, selling glass as diamond, but somehow it just didn't seem to work anymore, the flair wasn't there, the fun had dropped out of it, even the cards didn't seem to work for him, the money ran out, and one winter in some inn that was no more than a slum he turned his face to the wall—

And an angel appeared.

"What just happened?" said Miss Dearheart.

Perhaps you do get two...

"Only a passing thought," said Moist.

In-universe... what is Adora reacting to? What did just happen? The fact that these incidents are not isolated to Going Postal is a point against it being some sort of literal timeline divergence caused by The Spirit Of The Post.

So maybe Moist visibly zoned out. Maybe he had some kind of minor but noticeable cataplexy attack (more on those later) as part of a REM intrusion, brought on by the intense emotions he's currently struggling with.

IV. Vivid Dreams.

Again, at least some of this is probably supposed to be part of the possession, but I've been professionally projecting myself onto the surreal dreams of magically afflicted characters for years. Do try this at home.

1. "Moist dreamed of bottled wizards, all shouting his name. In the best tradition of awaking from a nightmare, the voices gradually became one voice, which turned out to be the voice of Mr. Pump, who was shaking him."

2. Moist is uneasy about the Smoking Gnu's plan, and then he has an extremely detailed dream about the Grand Trunk burning down.

This culminates in "Moist awoke, the Grand Trunk burning in his head," followed by a paragraph of him thinking things through and starting to form his own alternative plan, followed immediately by "Moist awoke. He was at his desk, and someone had put a pillow under his head."

So he fell asleep at his desk, woke up from a vivid nightmare, was awake just long enough for a coherent train of thought, and then passed back out. Which once again is not "proof" of anything, but fits the predetermined interpretation like a glove.

V. Cataplexy.

Cataplexy is a sudden loss of muscle control, usually triggered by strong emotions. This is thought to be a facet of REM intrusion—waking instances of the atonia that is meant to stop us from acting out our dreams.

The most well-known manifestation is laughter making your knees buckle, but it's not always that severe. My own attacks range from facial twitching, usually when I'm angry or otherwise extremely upset, to all-over weakness/immobilization and near-collapse when I laugh. My knees have fully buckled once or twice.

This is the biggest stretch. This is the one that is absolutely only there if you've already decided to read entire novels between the lines. It's also not even necessary for the broader headcanon; plenty of people have narcolepsy without cataplexy (or such mild cataplexy that it's never noticeable, or very delayed onset, etc).

However. I am doing this for fun. So I want him to have it. It's also become a major part of how I imagine Moist engaging with emotion, and I'd like to make a case for that.

There are a few scattered references to Moist's legs shaking, or being unsteady, or outright giving way, but there's usually an external physical reason, and/or enough psychological shock to justify it without a medical condition.

The most compelling example I've found so far comes from Moist and Adora's conversation about people expecting Moist to deliver letters to the gods.

"I never promised to—"

"You promised to when you sold them the stamps!"

Moist almost fell off his chair. She'd wielded the sentence like a fist.

"And it'll give them hope," she added, rather more quietly.

"False hope," said Moist, struggling upright.

"Almost fell off his chair" at first sounds like casual hyperbole, but then "struggling upright" implies it was a bit more literal. It's also an accurate description of me recovering from my more severe attacks, supporting myself on a wall or my spouse, or pushing myself up if I've fallen over in bed.

That happens to me multiple times per day, by the way. It doesn't bother me, and I didn't realize there was anything unusual about it for a long time. I barely think about it, except to fondly note that my spouse is good at making me laugh.

Which is to say, even severe cataplexy is not always noticeable or debilitating. Sometimes it absolutely is! It can be downright dangerous, depending on where you are, what you're doing, and whether you have any other conditions it might exacerbate. I don't want to undermine that.

I am just hell-bent on justifying the idea that this fictional character could have repeated attacks throughout the canonical narrative that are so routine they don't merit an explanation, or even a description. Especially for someone who is used to hiding his few distinguishing features behind false ones that are much more memorable. (See also.)

(That link goes to my own fanfic. Sorry.)

On the milder side, between Going Postal and Making Money, there are three instances of Moist's mouth "dropping open" when he's shocked, upset, confused, or some combination of the three. This is the kind of thing that shows up a lot in fiction, but rarely happens so literally in real life.

(There's technically a fourth instance, but I'm not counting it because it seems to be a deliberate choice on his part to convey surprise.)

And then there's laughter. Or rather, there isn't. I could be missing something, but I've searched all three books for instances of laughter and various synonyms (not counting spoken "Ha!"s), and what I've come up with is:

Moist laughs once in Going Postal, when he receives the assignment for the race to Genua.

Two packages were handed over. Moist undid his, and burst out laughing.

There's also an instance earlier in the book where Moist nearly "burst[s] out laughing."

I find the specifics here interesting, and, for our purposes, fortuitous. Cataplexy is complicated and presents differently for everyone. In my case, when laughter triggers an attack, one of the effects (which is sometimes also a cause) is that I laugh very hard, with little or no control. "Burst out laughing" is quite apt.

Let's move on to Making Money, and start with a quick tangent:

Mr. Bent explains that he has no sense of humor due to a medical condition, and that he isn't upset about this and doesn't understand why people feel sorry for him.

Moist immediately starts in with "Have you tried—" before getting cut off by the frustrated Bent.

Out-of-universe, "Have you tried" is such a well-known refrain to anyone with an incurable condition, I'm not at all surprised to find it in a book written by someone who had at least begun the process that would lead to a diagnosis of early-onset Alzheimer's. And Pratchett has certainly never shied away from portraying ignorance in his protagonists.

In-universe, it feels a little odd. Moist's tongue runs away from him all the time, but usually in the form of making ridiculous claims or impossible promises. Moist's entire stock-in-trade is People Skills, and it feels strange for him to make this kind of mistake immediately after being told Mr. Bent is not looking for solutions.

But if one were reading with, for instance, the idea in mind that Moist himself has an incurable condition related to laughter and is enthusiastic about, but still relatively new to, the practice of drawing on his own experiences to help people... it is easy to imagine the gears in his head turning the wrong way, superimposing those experiences over the tail end of Mr. Bent's explanation. Disabled people are not immune to these well-meaning pitfalls.

There is another Mr. Bent moment that I want to discuss, but we'll circle back around to it later.

I found two instances of Moist himself laughing in MM.

1. "He said it with a laugh, to lighten the mood a little."

This is deliberate laughter, employed as a social tactic. A polite chuckle, probably. Not the sort of thing that generally triggers cataplexy.

2. "Moist started to laugh, and stopped at the sight of her grave expression."

The first and only involuntary laugh in MM. It doesn't always trigger attacks...

Which brings us to Raising Steam. Compared to the first two books, Moist laughs a lot here. I count nine instances. Two of them are "burst out laughing"s, a couple include him as part of a group, some of it comes off as deliberate, and some of it doesn't.

I've always seen a lot of... rage in Raising Steam. Combing through it for laughter, I realized Moist's emotions in general are much closer to the surface here, and he's much less concerned about letting people see them. He laughs with friends and acquaintances, he cries in front of strangers, he shouts at Harry King, he has that entire conversation with Dick that boils down to "I'm very worried about you," etc.

Opinions vary wildly and sharply on Raising Steam. I have my own hangups with it, as I do with most books in the series. (Every time I make a new Discworld post, Tumblr passive-aggressively suggests the tag "my kingdom for a discworld character who is normal about women and other species.")

But I like this particular change in Moist, and I choose to see it as character development. He's trading in the professional detachment of a conman for the ability to grow into himself as a person and make meaningful connections.

So, what does that have to do with cataplexy? A lot.

I don't want to get too maudlin, so I'll just say I have plenty of personal experience with emotional repression masking cataplexy symptoms. And so, I believe, does the version of Moist we've put together over the course of this post.

Which brings us back to Making Money, and Mr. Bent. He says something about Moist that I find very interesting: "I do not trust those who laugh too easily."

Unless I've missed something, at that point in the book, Moist has never actually laughed in front of him. And Mr. Bent is a man who pays very close attention to details.

So, what is the in-universe explanation for this? I'd like to propose that Moist is very skilled at seeming to laugh, without actually laughing. He smiles, he's friendly, and he makes other people laugh, which is another thing Bent dislikes about him. He gives the impression of being someone who laughs a lot. (He certainly left that impression on me; I was very surprised by the lack of examples in the first two books.)

Even staying strictly within the bounds of canon, it's easy to imagine why this might have become part of Moist's camouflage in his previous life. He wasn't looking to get attached to anyone, and he didn't want anyone getting inside his head. Engaging with people genuinely enough to laugh at their jokes would run counter to both of those things, but some of his personas still needed to come off as friendly and sociable.

Still working within the canon, it makes sense to assume he's similarly distanced himself from emotion in general. He sits in a cell for several weeks without truly believing he's going to die. He's bewildered when Mr. Pump points out that his schemes have hurt innocent people. He has no idea what to do with his feelings for Adora. Etc.

Interpreting Moist as having cataplexy adds an extra element of danger. Moist thrives on danger, but there's a difference between the thrill of a con and the threat of sudden, uncontrollable displays of vulnerability. And so it becomes even easier to see him stifling his own emotional capacity.*

We meet Moist at a moment of great upheaval. He is forcibly removed from his cocoon of false identities, and pushed out into the world as himself. And we are shown and told throughout Going Postal that he does not know how to be himself. (See also.)

He is repeatedly stymied by his own emotions. He gets tongue-tied and confused around Adora, he snaps at Mr. Pump, he lashes out at Mr. Groat, he gets lost in school flashbacks when he meets Miss Maccalariat. This thread continues in Making Money, where the sudden reappearance of Cribbins immediately rattles him into making an uncharacteristic mistake.

I called him Cribbins! Just then! I called him Cribbins! Did he tell me his name? Did he notice? He must have noticed!

Later in the same book, Moist misses a crucial opportunity to run damage control on the bank's public image... because he's excited to see Adora.

The Moist of GP and MM is not used to feeling things so deeply. It throws him off his game. I'm not at all suggesting cataplexy is the only (or even primary) reason for that, but I do think there's room for it on both sides of the cause and effect equation.

With or without the cataplexy, I find Moist's relative emotional openness in Raising Steam... really nice. (It's a work in progress. He's still getting a handle on anger.)

Cataplexy just adds another dimension. A physical manifestation of emotional vulnerability, which would have been especially untenable for a teenager on the run. Just one more facet of the real, human, fallible Moist von Lipwig who spent years buried beneath Albert Spangler and all the rest.

Another piece of himself that Moist is growing to understand and accept, as he learns to more comfortably be himself.

The Moist of Going Postal runs into a burning building to save lives without fully understanding why he wants to, and justifies it on the fly as an essential part of the role he's trying to play.

The Moist of Raising Steam mindlessly throws himself under a train to save two children, and then blows up at Harry King about the lack of safety regulations. Freshly traumatized by the murder of several railway workers and his own violent, vengeful response to it, he still offers, in the face of Harry's own grief, to be the one to inform their families. On a long and dangerous journey with plenty of moving parts to think about, he worries about Dick Simnel and the other engineers, and pushes them to take better care of themselves.

He also meets a bunch of kids who nearly derailed a train as part of a childish scheme. His admonishment is startlingly vivid.

"Can you imagine a railway accident? The screaming of the rails and the people inside and the explosion that scythes the countryside around when the boiler bursts? And you, little girl, and your little friends, would have done all that. Killed a trainload of people."

[...]

"I'll square this with the engine driver, but if I was you I'd get my pencil and turn any clever ideas you have like this into a book or two. Those penny dreadfuls are all the rage in the railway bookshops."

Maybe what he is also saying, between the lines, is:

I left home at 14 and began a life of smoke and mirrors. I was empty inside, and I thought everyone else was, too. It was all fun and games, and then a man made of clay told me I was killing people. Nip it in the bud, child. Write books.

------------

*There are studies suggesting that in addition to deliberately employed "tricks," people with cataplexy may experience physiological reactions in the brain meant to inhibit laughter. (Source 1, Source 2.)

Most of the information here is way over my head, but that second link also says "one region of the brain called the zona incerta (meaning 'zone of uncertainty') was only activated during laughter in people with narcolepsy, not in controls. Research on the zona incerta in animals suggests that it also helps to control fear-associated behavior."

The linked article about that (https://www.nature.com/articles/s41467-018-03581-6) is also over my head, but I would certainly describe Moist von Lipwig as having unusual fear responses.**

**Narcolepsy is a fun roller-coaster ride of constant scientific discoveries about exactly which parts of your brain are paying too much attention, not paying enough attention, or trying to eat each other.

[fivelakesinwriting]

The Other Woman Part 2 {Ward Cameron}

Author's Notes: I have feelings for Ward Cameron that can't be explained by logic, so here's a second part no one really asked for. I have also named Ward's mistress, it was just easier - and I think it makes it more personal. I'm thinking there will for sure be a third part of this - granted people enjoy it - and perhaps a fourth!

Warnings: Cheating, Sexual references - sexual innuendos

Requested? Nope. Requests for OBX are OPEN!

*My work is not to be transferred, copied, translated or reposted to any other sites without my permission. Please see my masterlist for all other works and warnings. Thank you! xoxo

Stella Frederick felt out of place. She didn't belong at the Yacht Club and she didn't know how the invitation to this gala dinner got into her mailbox. The neat cursive writing on the thick envelope simply had her name on it, no address and no postage stamp. It had been neatly placed in the bottom of her mailbox for her to find.

Stella thanked the man who took her coat then quickly made her way towards the bar for a drink, if she had to be around all these stuffy, rich types then she needed more than a few drinks at the open bar.

"Stella Frederick, so happy to see you made it." A familiar voice quipped behind her as she waited for her drink.

Stella turned around quickly, a small teeter in step from the sky high heels she chose to wear - hoping a certain someone might be there to see. Behind her stood the blonde, beauty - Rose Cameron. Mrs. Ward Cameron.

"Rose. Hi, it's good to see you." Stella stammered as she pushed her hair back from her face.

"You as well. It's been a while. I haven't seen much of you since you moved out to the middle of nowhere." Rose smiled softly, her beautifully manicured fingers holding onto a glass of champagne.

"It's quiet out there. Not so much of the drama you get here with the whole Kooks versus Pogues. The kids around here are wild sometimes." Stella replied, a nod towards the bartender who handed her a glass full of gin, ice and lime.

As Rose went to open her mouth in response, Ward walked up to the women in his life who had somehow gravitated towards one another. He undid one of the buttons of his suit jacket as he stood in front of Stella, a hand placed gently on Rose's back.

"Stella, you made it." Ward grinned at her, his eyebrows raised quickly as he took note of the plunging neckline of her dress. He knew Rose hated the very sight of it on her.

"Hello, Ward." Stella replied softly, clearing her throat.

Why did he have to look so good in a suit?

"Ward, I'm going to check on the food. The wait staff is not circling enough with the hors d'oeuvres." Rose sighed as she placed her glass of champagne down on the bar then walked away quickly towards the back of the venue.

"Oh, no. Not the hors d'oeuvres, Ward." Stella mumbled as she brought her glass of gin up to her lips.

Ward breathed out a laugh through his nostrils as he took the few small steps towards the bar to stand beside Stella. He tossed a hand up to the bartender, and watched as the man behind the bar scurried to produce another Scotch, neat, in front of the most powerful man in the Outer Banks.

"I see you got the invitation I left you." Ward muttered as he brought his glass of Scotch to his lips, his eyes forward on the row on liquor bottles behind the bar.

"That was you?" She asked with a clear of her throat.

"Of course it was me. You think I want to be here at this stuffy event all alone without you?" Ward grinned, his eyes following the curves of her body in her form fitting dress.

"That was bold of you, Ward." She replied with a cock of her head, her eyes scanning the crowd for any sign of Rose. His invitation had been incredibly bold, considering she and Ward had been seeing one another behind his wife's back for more than six months now. It was almost as if he wanted to get caught.

"Come with me. There's something I want to show you." Ward stated as he sipped his drink, then began to walk away from the bar and through the crowd of people that seemed to part for him.

Stella followed after him, her drink clutched in her hand and her head down with her eyes on the neatly varnished floors. Ward led her through the halls of the Yacht Club, the excited chatter of the event a distant whisper they were so deep in the venue. In front of Ward was a heavy oak door, he reached into his pocket with his whiskey- free hand and pulled out a key. He unlocked the door and opened the door with a heavy creak.

"What is this place, Ward?" Stella asked as she walked in after him into a grand study, books adorning the walls with plush couches and chairs in seemingly every corner. A golden wire bar cart sat elegantly in the middle of the room, waiting.

"Just a little, members only accommodation." Ward replied as he walked towards the bar cart and topped up his whiskey, a little more than two fingers full.

"That sounds really creepy." She laughed as she walked inside with him, walking towards a plush leather couch beneath a frosted window. She sat down on the couch with a sigh of relief, kicking her feet up.

"Well, I don't get you to myself out there. And that dress is very inappropriate for an event like this." Ward grinned, eyebrows raised as he turned around to look at his lover and her exposed cleavage.

"You don't think the wetlands would appreciate a little cleavage?" She questioned, a smirk of her own as she shimmied her chest for him.

"I think the wetlands get more than their fair share of cleavage. I think it's these stuffy suits and Stepford types that might have a problem with it." Ward replied as he sipped his whiskey, his bottom lip catching the droplets that stayed in his beard. He placed his glass down on on the bar cart once more, then made his way over to Stella again.

Ward grabbed the back of her right knee and lifted her leg off the couch, turning her body to face him. He crouched down on the floor between her legs as his hands gently pushed the hem of her dress up her legs and to the tops of her thighs.

"Ward, what are you doing? Anyone could walk in and see us." Stella whispered as she placed her hands on his shoulders, the older man bent over to place kisses along her bare thigh.

"Stella, it's not often I get on my knees for anyone. I suggest you take advantage of this position." Ward smiled into the soft skin of her thigh, the coarse hairs of his beard rough against her flesh.

"Ward, that tickles." She laughed, her hands at the nape of his neck as his kisses got a little messier as he made his way towards the insides of her thighs and under her dress.

"Does it? What about this?" Ward grinned against her thigh, his tongue tasting her skin as his fingers reached for the back of her thigh to lift it up and over his shoulder.

"Ward, your wife and all the richest people in the Outer Banks are right outside that door." She breathed out as she grabbed his face, her fingertips pressed against his beard.

"Then I guess you should be quiet this time. C'mon. Be a good girl, lift your hips for me." Ward mumbled with a kiss to her inner thigh and a tap of her hips beneath the skirt of her dress.

"You're so bad." She breathed out, but did as instructed lifting her hips off the leather couch so he could pull off her panties.

"I know." Ward replied as he balled up her underwear and stuffed in into the breast pocket of his jacket. He grabbed her hips and tugged her to the edge of the couch, her dress around her stomach.

"Are we really going to have sex in here, Ward?" Stella asked as she reached for the collar of his jacket.

"Do you want to?" Ward questioned as he looked into her eyes. He wouldn't do anything she didn't want to, but the idea of getting his hands on her in the back lounge of the Yacht Club was beyond enticing.

"Yes, I want to. I just don't think that we should." She replied as she curled her fingers into the neatly ironed collar of his shirt and pulled him up for a kiss.

Ward released a soft groan against her lips, holding his weight on the couch as her fingertips pulled through the scruff of his beard. Just as he went to slip his tongue in her mouth, she pulled away from him.

"I need more champagne, Ward." Stella smiled, her thumbs pressed to his lips to remove any trace of her dark red lipstick. Not even close to the colour Rose wore.

"Alright. Let's go." Ward sighed as he pushed himself up from the couch, adjusted the buttons of his jacket then extended his hand to help her up.

"I haven't forgotten about that boat ride you owe me, Ward." Stella stated as she reached into the pocket of his jacket, and pulled her underwear out.

"I know, sweetheart." Ward nodded as he fixed the cuffs of his jacket, then made his way to the heavy door once more. Opening it, hand on her lower back, to lead her out into the den of lions once more.

Please let me know what you think if you have a moment! Thank you ! xoxo

REQUESTS FOR OBX ARE OPEN!

[seasonschange-butpeopledont]

Everyday Heroes

Pairing: Marcus Moreno x F!Reader

Warnings: A few curse words, an explosion, implied injury, depressed reader, minor character death, grief, and a bit of pining

Word Count: 3,364

Author’s Note: This got out of hand and apparently I only know how to write hopeless pining. Do we agree that Marcus gives off Clark Kent vibes or am I alone in this?

Summary: The three times you discovered Marcus Moreno was a hero. 

Taglist Form - Masterlist

When you’d left the house that morning, the heels you wore had seemed like a great idea. 

You were headed in for your first day at your new job and you wanted to make a good impression by wearing what you perceived to be your most professional outfit. You’d made it to the coffee shop down the street from your apartment with minimal difficulty, though you were certain to have blisters on your feet by the end of the day. Thankfully, your receptionist position meant that you would spend the majority of your day more or less chained to the front desk, answering phones, taking messages, scheduling appointments, and greeting visitors. 

You didn’t know much about Vil-Tech. You’d googled them before your first interview, of course- you weren’t a total idiot and you’d never dare show up unprepared, especially when you needed this job so badly- but your search had yielded only a few results. Most of what you’d found had been articles from the newspaper. The researchers at the lab had, apparently, recently had some success in clean energy technology. Protons, neutrons, particle accelerators, electromagnetic fields… You knew nothing about it, really, but it sounded impressive. And clean energy had to be good, right? When they’d hired you, it hadn’t seemed like a big deal that you knew next to nothing about the company itself. They were only looking for a receptionist, after all, not a scientist. If they’d wanted you to know exactly what was going on in the floors above you, you were sure that they would have let you know. 

With your coffee in hand, you made your way towards the Vil-Tech building. All in all, it seemed like the universe was on your side this morning. You’d woken up early enough to make yourself look decent. Your favorite barista had made your coffee just the way you liked it, and it even looked like you would be early for work. 

And then it all seemed to happen in slow motion. 

The upper half of your body was already moving forward, even as the heel of your shoe remained firmly wedged in the sidewalk crack. You felt the coffee sloshing around in the stainless steel travel mug in your hands, threatening to douse your crisp white blouse in the steaming beverage. You blindly threw your hand out in front of you, bracing yourself to hit the concrete and thinking to yourself that this was just one of those days when this might as well happen. 

But the harsh impact you’d prepared yourself for never came. 

It had taken you a moment to process that someone had caught you. Someone with impeccable reflexes, it seemed, as not only had they rescued you from taking a humiliating fall in the middle of a busy sidewalk, but they also managed to save your coffee without spilling a drop. To say that you were impressed by the feat was an understatement.

But when you looked up at your savior, you were damn near speechless. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, his dark eyes finding yours from beneath his black-framed glasses. And, other than the approximately thirty-seven heart attacks you’d had in the span of 2.5 seconds only moments before, you found yourself nodding in confirmation. 

“I’m fine. I… Thank you,” You breathed out, a warm, tingly feeling spreading out from your chest and right down to your toes. Gods, he had the most beautiful eyes you’d ever seen. He appeared to be somewhere in his mid-forties, and wore a leather jacket with his slacks and tie, a combination you’d never quite seen before, but decided suited him quite well. 

“Are you sure? You look a little dizzy,” He noted. His arm was still around your waist, and you were grateful for it, because you didn’t quite trust the integrity of your knees at the moment.

After a few moments, which had exceeded the socially acceptable amount of time to moon over a stranger while clutching their remarkably toned biceps for dear life by a long-shot, your brain finally seemed to catch up to the rest of you, and promptly flooded your thoughts with embarrassment. You released your death-grip on his arms immediately, trying to maintain your dignity as you yanked your heel from the concrete crevice in a distinctly unladylike manor. All the while, the handsome stranger remained right there, dutifully holding your coffee and trying his best to hide the amusement in his eyes with a polite smile. 

Taking a deep breath and smoothing out your outfit, you nodded at him once again. “I’m fine,” You said in what you hoped was your most composed voice. He promptly handed you your coffee, and you swore you felt electricity when his fingers brushed against yours. 

“Glad to hear it,” He remarked, “That would have been a nasty fall.” 

“Nice save, Clark,” You joked, attempting your most charming smile. Were you flirting? Could you even consider this flirting?

“Clark?” He repeated, his eyebrows raised in curiosity. 

“You know, Clark Kent… with the glasses and... lightning-fast reflexes… saving me from an incredibly embarrassing moment?” You explained weakly. It wasn’t as if you’d never spoken to an attractive man before, but it seemed that the universe was decidedly not on your side this morning after all.

“Superman?” Another smile found its way to his face. He seemed flattered by your comment. “My daughter loves those comics.” At the mention of his daughter, your eyes quickly darted down to his left hand. There was no wedding ring there, but it was clear that there had been one there in the past. 

“Well, your daughter has excellent taste. And we could all use a few more heroes in our lives, right?” You sighed wistfully, before adding, “Thank you, by the way.” 

“It was no big deal,” He assured you. “I’m always happy to help a pretty lady in need.” 

You laughed quietly at the last part, finding the cheesiness of it adorable. You weren’t quite sure why you were still lingering on the street corner, except that you couldn’t quite bring yourself to walk away just yet. He seemed equally as reluctant to part from you, both of you grinning shyly at one another as you soaked in the meet-cute moment. Right up until his eyes fell to the ID badge clipped to your bag, that is. 

“Is that a Vil-Tech badge?”

There was a hint of disappointment in his tone that you couldn’t quite assign a cause for. It wasn’t the question you were expecting. You’d expected him to ask your name, or maybe offer you his, but you could practically see the gears turning in his head by now, so you humored him.

“Yep,” You confirmed. “It's my first day. I’m just a receptionist, though…” 

He nodded slowly, his eyebrows pinching together. He didn’t even try to hide his frown. What was it about Vil-Tech that seemed to bother him so much?

“I’m really sorry, but I’m running late for work,” He said finally, nodding in the direction you had just come from. He turned his attention back to you, his eyes staring into yours as he spoke with the utmost seriousness. “Good luck on your first day, and… Look after yourself, okay? Vil-Tech might not be what you think it is.” 

And with that, he brushed past you, seemingly in quite a hurry as he disappeared into the crowd and left you standing there, disappointment sinking deep into your bones. 

You didn’t even get his name. 

***

You didn’t see him again for a month. 

Not that you often thought about him or his dreamy eyes and ridiculously charming smile or his strong arms around your waist. And definitely not that you sometimes idly wondered where he was and how his day was going while you were grocery shopping or stuck at the laundromat. 

Okay, maybe you did. 

Maybe you went to that same coffee shop every week day, hoping that you might bump into him again. 

And maybe you sometimes imagined those eyes staring into yours and arms around you in situations where you weren’t making a complete fool of yourself. 

You felt silly for being that girl. The one who falls hopelessly in love with strangers you pass on the streets, with anyone who thinks that anyone who so much as holds the door open for you could be your true love. You were a grown up, for goodness sake. You weren’t supposed to believe in that kind of thing anymore. 

But it was those ridiculous daydreams you found yourself caught up in when a team of Heroics stormed into Vil-Tech on a Tuesday afternoon. 

“I apologize, sir, but Dr. Pershing is out of the office today…” You sighed, listening to the supplier ramble on and on about the importance of Dr. Pershing returning his call. You had already scribbled the message down, along with his name and phone number. “Yes, I’ll be sure to give him the message.” It was difficult to hide the exasperation in your tone. 

“That’s what you said the last time,” The man snapped. “Pershing didn’t return my calls for a week. I don’t know why they can’t hire someone who knows how to take a message properly. God knows they’ve got the money for it.” 

You tapped the tip of your pen against the notepad on your desk, feeling a lump beginning to form in your throat. “I apologize, Mr. Wells. I’ll make sure that Dr. Pershing gets your message as soon as he returns.” 

“You’d better,” He grumbled, before the line went dead. 

You let out a slow breath, easing yourself back from the edge of tears. It had been like this all morning. The scientists in the building were off at a conference for the week, leaving you behind to copy down messages and field angry phone calls. 

Stan, the elderly security guard, if you could call him that, offered you a sympathetic smile from his post by the door. You returned it weakly.

Closing your eyes, you tried to think of something else. Brown eyes, charming smile, strong arms. You repeated it like a mantra. Electricity. The feeling of safety. That warm, fluttering feeling in your stomach, and a rush of calm. 

When you opened your eyes again, you found Stan staring slack-jawed as the Heroics sprinted into the building, announcing to you, Stan, and the maintenance staff that you all needed to clear the building immediately. They offered no explanation for their frantic demands, but when a guy in spandex and a cape tells you to go, you go. You were sure that, whatever it was, you’d be able to catch the reason for the strange event on the news later that evening. You’d watched them destroy city hall enough times from the comfort of your living room to be sure that you wanted out of this building as soon as possible. 

But, given that this was your first call-the-Heroics-level emergency, it seems that your idea of immediacy was a bit different from theirs. In the time that it had taken you to grab your jacket, shove your laptop in your purse, and sling the bag over your shoulder, you had already been tackled to the ground by some idiot in a tactical vest. 

You don’t remember much about the explosion. 

You’d later learn that Vil-Tech Labs dealt in more than just technological innovation. The research they’d been conducting while locked away in the uppermost floors of the building, all of that gibberish involving the off-site particle accelerator you’d read about, was both sinister and invaluable. Rather than letting the Heroics get their hands on their files to uncover their plans and stop them from being set in motion, they’d decided to set off an explosion in their own goddamn building. And thanks to that ‘idiot in a tactical vest’, you were one of the only survivors. 

But in the meantime, while you were lying on your back in the middle of the lobby feeling like you’d been hit by a train, you were clueless about the nefarious action of the company you’d spent the last month working for. The only thing you could seem to focus on was the pain in your head from where you’d smacked it against the tile flooring, and the weight of the fully grown man on top of you that was currently restricting your breathing. 

You must have hit your head even harder than you thought, because there was no way in hell the man who’d been starring in all of your daydreams for months was here, now, on top of you, with katanas strapped to his back. You refused to accept that as a reality. Would he even remember you? Why would he? Apparently, the man you’d developed a  stupid little crush on was a superhero. He probably helped people all of the time and you were just another-

“What the fuck?” You finally hissed, gasping for air. The air was smokey and it stung your eyes and nose when you inhaled. 

His breathing hitched slightly when you looked up at him, the look of fear clear on your face. “You okay?” He asked, still hovering above you as he pushed himself up on his elbows, careful to avoid the shattered glass that now seemed to cover every flat surface in sight. 

“I’m… reasonably certain I’m not dead,” You replied, an edge of panic in your voice, which was a bit shakier than you would have liked. “What’s happening? I don’t- I don’t understand- Where is Stan-” You coughed, your lungs burning. 

You idly wondered how long you had before the building started to collapse, its structural integrity surely compromised by the explosion. Of all the ways you could die, being buried alive was up there with the ones you dreaded the most. Your growing panic must have been obvious. 

“Hey, calm down,” He reassured you. “I’m going to get you out of here. You’re going to be just fine.” 

The room was still spinning when you felt yourself being scooped up into his arms, the edges of your vision growing more and more fuzzy with each breath you took. 

“We have got to stop meeting like this, Clark” You murmured. You swear you feel, rather than hear, a laugh rumble in his chest just before the world goes dark. Maybe he did remember you after all. 

***

It’s only a little more than a week later, long after you’ve woken up in the hospital and been discharged, that you find yourself sitting in the coffee shop down the street. It’s a Thursday morning, and you’re staring blankly into your vanilla latte. 

You aren’t sure why you’re up so early. The doctors had ordered you to take it easy, and it’s not like you had a job to go to anymore. You could have slept in, made your own coffee at home, and stayed curled up on your couch watching Netflix and hiding from the rest of the world like you had been for the past week. You felt horrible that you’d been associated with a place like Vil-Tech. You should have known that something was off about the place, but you’d never realized it, never bothered to look into anything when things seemed off. You felt so stupid for it now. Were you just as bad as the rest of them? Sure, all you’d done was answer phones for them, but…

Stan, your only friend at Vil-Tech, the kind man who had shared half of his sandwich at lunch with you more times than you could count and always had a smile for you when he greeted you in the mornings, had never made it out of the building. You supposed that you should consider yourself lucky that the Heroics had saved you, but the loss of your friend and the knowledge that Vil-Tech was certainly not what you thought it was, had shaken you. 

You’d felt different when you woke up this morning. Like, maybe, leaving your apartment and getting some fresh air wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

Your favorite barista had smiled sympathetically when you walked through the doors. You must have looked as bad as you felt. Considering you hadn’t showered since you’d gotten home from the hospital, you were sure that you were quite a sight. 

“Good morning!” She greeted, mustering up her cheeriest demeanor for you. “The usual, right?”

You nodded, not quite making eye contact as you handed her your card to pay. She quickly waved you off. 

“It’s on the house today, hon. And I insist that you take this chocolate chip muffin. I’ll make you feel better.” 

Your heart ached at her kindness, the act almost forcing tears in your eyes once again. That was the thing that you realized over the past few days. The Heroics were great, but there were plenty of everyday heroes out there as well. Sometimes it was Ashely the Barista, who scribbles a smiley face and a compliment on your cup on the mornings that seem particularly rough. Sometimes it was Stan the Security Guard, who offers to teach you sudoku on your lunch breaks. And sometimes it was a stranger you passed on the street, who catches you when you fall. 

You sat down at a table in the corner of the coffee shop, your vanilla latte and chocolate chip muffin sat out in front of you, untouched for the moment. You didn’t usually sit down to have your coffee, but you had nowhere to be today, and you were finding that you appreciated not being alone for a while. 

You heard the bells above the door jingle, signaling that a new customer had entered the shop. You looked up to see a man with dark hair and a familiar leather jacket walking towards the barista to place his order. You listened closely as he gave his name for his order, though you’d heard it plenty of times on the news this week. A smile tugged at the corners of your lips for the first time in over a week.

Marcus Moreno, your own personal Superman. 

You hadn’t meant to stare, but it was undeniably strange to see the man who had saved you not once, but twice, doing something as mundane as making his morning coffee run. After he paid, he turned towards the groupings of tables and chairs, searching for a place to sit while he waited for his drink to be ready. When his eyes landed on you, you raised your hand in a small wave. You were nervous about how he’d react to seeing you here. You had no doubt that he recognized you this time.

You weren’t exactly sure what the protocol was for meeting a real-life superhero again after they had saved your life. Were you supposed to pretend not to know each other? Should you have paid for his coffee? Did you make a public declaration to name your first born child after him?

To your surprise, he simply smiled back at you with the most heart-stopping, breathtaking smile you’d ever seen in your life, and returned your wave. It was as simple as that, you thought. Marcus Moreno, the superhero with katanas at this back and a team of Heroics at his side, the closest thing to Superman you’d ever met, was impressive. But Marcus Moreno, the helpful man with a kind, beautiful smile and warm, friendly eyes, whose mere existence had never failed to cheer you up? He was magnificent. An everyday hero, indeed. 

He made this way through the crowd and over to your table, gesturing to the seat across from you as if to ask for your permission to sit down. You nodded, feeling a sense of warmth blossoming in your chest. The same way you’d felt when you saw him for the first time. The same feeling that you’d been dreaming about for months. 

Hope, you realized. 

“Hi,” He greeted. “I, uh, I never caught your name. I’m Marcus Moreno.” 

As you gave him your name, you decided that maybe you could start by just saying thank you. 

General Taglist: @theravenreads @marshmallowtraver @computeringturtle @adikaofmandalore @pascalisthepunkest

Marcus Moreno Taglist: @xjaywritesx​

[rainbowsky]

More on the Fan Fic issue

I have a few more asks about the issue raised the other day, some of which are long and go into detail on the 'wars' that have been happening on Twitter and AO3.

Sorry for grouping these but I wanted to put it all under a cut because these are long, and also in case people don't want to dig into these issues (which would be understandable).

Anonymous 1 asked:

"I am very strongly of the opinion that the BJYX term is still a fandom umbrella term" I agree. Mainly because Bjyx is the most popular. Many antis always say bjyx, and have no idea the others. So sometimes it's easier just to say bjyx instead of explaining all three. I myself more like "who cares as long as they happy." So I enjoy Yizhan in all contexts. Many bxgs I know also like that, mostly ibxgs. I think deep down all bxgs (no matter which position they prefer) just want Yizhan to be happy

Not sure we can be so certain about that last part, Anon (I think for a lot of people GG and DD are just characters in a smutty story they have in their heads), but I agree about the term being popular regardless of the type of fans people are.

From what I can see the BJYX term seems to be used 80-90% umbrella, 10-20% dynamic in both international and c-social media (for every 10 times you see the term used, only one or two of those usages - probably less - are referring to a dynamic). This is my totally unscientific estimation, but I think even 10-20% dynamic is being generous. The number of people who are fixated on a sexual dynamic aren't nearly as large as they'd like to believe.

Anonymous 2 asked:

about the promptfests - i’ve been on twitter since early 2020 and what i’ve noticed is that this influx bjyx-only promptfests started gaining speed once lots of rational voices started leaving the fandom recently either because a) new interests have caught their attention or b) the toxicity of the popular bxg circles on twitter have become too much to handle.

gdgdbaby was usually the organizer of dynamic-inclusive events, and she’s received lots, and lots, and lots of backlash by bxg, sometimes even by accounts with thousands followers, for using bjyx as a catch-all term. and as her interest in yizhan has since waned—hopefully for reasons unrelated to fandom toxicity—many of the people who were attracted to the welcoming environment she created distanced themselves as well.

zsww/lsfy fans have become an outnumbered circle who try their best to create exclusive events to avoid the “is bjyx a catch-all term” discourse, but never seem to gain as much traction as gdgdbaby (who has a sizeable following) or those who host bjyx-only events (who also have sizeable followings).

meanwhile the dynamic war has only become more and more hostile and bjyx is clearly the more populated group… ao3 is simply a battlegrounds, if i may dramatize the situation a little for the sake of humor, and the promptfests are a reaction to this irritating t/b discourse that has made bxg twitter completely inhospitable for me…and lots of other fans too.

(i’ve also noticed a huge reinforcement as of recently where ppl will call gg laopo, a milf, an omega, etc even outside of rpf (i.e. posting pictures of him at events and saying he looks pregnant or he’s going into heat) and it’s just… uncomfortable.)

(also please note i have a biased account of all of this drama bc many of my friends were harassed over it, and anyone who disagrees with my take may feel free to interject.)

I took the liberty of adding paragraph breaks because they are pretty important for some readers, particularly ND readers like me.

It's sad to hear how fucked up everything has become, but I'm not even remotely surprised. Toxicity leads to toxicity, and the whole idea of dividing up a RP fandom by sex position was misguided from the outset - no matter why it was done or how good the intentions might have been.

And yes, like I said, these people aren't just framing things this way for fan fic. This is how they talk about IRL GGDD.

I had written a lengthy essay here about homophobia in the fandom but deleted it all. Perhaps I'll post it separately at some later point. Suffice it to say that this stuff creates a climate that's often hostile for queer people. So much of it is deeply homophobic, whether people are aware of it or not.

It's really sad to hear about gdgdbaby being mistreated in any way. Anyone who steps up and sticks their neck out to help organize and coordinate activities that benefit a broader group of people should be celebrated and supported, not run out of town by an angry mob.

I've read some of her stories and even have one or two on my rec list. And here's someone who is not only writing good works, but also supporting others to write more good works. Such a shame.

Anonymous 3 asked:

Hello Mr. RBS! I think I can chime in a bit about the fanfic topic as I’ve watched this all unravel on twitter (where a majority of authors/readers are). I apologize if this gets long but it’s been something that’s also been on my mind.

I want to preface this by saying that I’m not a fan of the distinctions of dynamics as, like you said, the supposed line between real life and fanfic is long gone, so I’m not trying to be biased against one group over another.

Short answer to the question of, “is this retaliation?” : I do believe it is. (From here onwards I’ll be using bjyx as the dynamic term just for the ease of simplicity.) To understand why, I’ll have to explain with a bit of background info. On twitter, I’d say that there’s a quite large divide between bjyx and zsww/lsfy. That itself isn’t really a problem because people are free to like what they like and associate with whoever.

However there is a big problem where bjyx people are not just bjyx but also anti-zsww/lsfy. To the point where I’ve seen people say that they feel physically ill when they accidentally read zsww. I don’t think this type of behavior should exist in any dynamic bc in the end GGDD are real people with a real relationship behind this content and it’s just a gross fetishization at that point.

With all this happening, zsww/lsfy people have gotten more outspoken on how GG is often portrayed in those types of scenarios, mainly the over-feminization of him, bc it’s not just done in the context of fanfic but regular discussion of GGDD at this point. This tension between the dynamics kind of boiled over when the pregnant xz fest was announced, as you can take a guess at how that went over with zsww/lsfy people. lol.

But around that same time, another zsww/lsfy event was announced (I’m not sure if it’s the one anon was talking about) but the creator of the event suddenly got a ton of backlash for excluding bjyx, with the reasoning that bjyx is technically a part of lsfy. But the event was done to highlight zsww/lsfy (as all specific events are) bc the community and content for these dynamics are much less than bjyx.

Which is how we come back to the starting point of, is all this recent bjyx stuff retaliatory. I believe so bc the events (preg fest, dark event) are very specific prompts that target exactly what zsww/lsfy people have been outspoken against.

As to the point anon made about trying to drown out the tags, keep in mind that zsww/lsfy content is very minimal compared to bjyx and has only just recently started to gain more traction. I think most people would love to just peacefully exist in their own circles but I don’t see this problem between dynamics disappearing anytime soon.

Like I said with the above Anon, I've added paragraph breaks for ND readers.

What a mess.

I have absolutely nothing useful to say here about the fandom on AO3 and how it's managed by community members, but I do think it's unfortunate that people choose to be war-like rather than make space for diverse voices, and I think it's a real shame that some people have been essentially run out of the fandom because of this garbage.

Thanks for giving some context for how/why the major shift in tone of fan fic lately. I had no idea any of this was going on.

I urge people to work hard to give space for all voices and perspectives, and not just the ones they favor. I'd also urge people to reflect on how their thoughts, behavior and actions in the fandom might affect queer people in the fandom.

As always, we have no control over what other people do, say or think. All we have any control over is how we respond to what other people do, say or think. Hopefully we'll chose the path of peace and try to avoid fan wars or fights that only ruin the experience for everyone.

I guess one thing I'd ask any of the Anons who have written me about this issue - or anyone who has thoughts about it - is, what can we as readers/fans who care about diversity of voices and perspectives do to support that here and on AO3, without getting involved in any kind of war?

[outlawsworld]

Trusting strangers - Chapter One

Arthur Morgan x Female reader

Summary: Reader is new to camp. Can she trust these outlaws and can they trust her?

Author notes: this is my first time ever writing anything so please no hate. Any helpful criticism is appreciated. Hopefully to be more chapters if people like it.

--

You woke up to the morning birds singing in the trees and the sun rising over the mountains. The smell of smoke from the burnt out fire was overpowering. The cold air surrounded you as you crept out of your blanket and quietly approached the fire in the middle of camp doing your best to restart it. 

The rest of the camp were still sleeping as you sat on a log in front of the new embers to try and warm up. You had only been in the camp a couple of days as a prisoner more than a gang member. One of the men... a big strong man with a full beard and rocks for brains brought you in after he found you in the woods alone. Bill you recall him being called. The group assumed you must have been a spy of some kind and you were too weak to correct them. 

Before last night, they had tied you to a wagon to make sure you couldn't run away. They fed you and swapped your clothes from the dirt ridden ripped ones they found you in. You were scared...helpless. Although no one was particularly cruel to you, no one was too kind either. They didn't trust you. Mostly because you stayed very quiet as to not draw too much attention to yourself but also because they had no idea where you had come from. 

''She must be a pinkerton!'' A man said. He had black hair and dressed very smartly.

''Well..She won't tell us nothin'. She must av' been half dead when I found her wondering in the wood'' Bill had replied in a rough tone.

''Give her something to eat and she will soon be able to talk'' an older man interjected. ''Can't you see she is near starving, I doubt she is a spy. Just look at her''

''Just to be sure, tie her to the wagon over there. Don't want her taking off and giving away our whereabouts. Give her some food and then we will find out where the hell she's come from'' The man with black hair bellowed. You could see the whole camp staring in your direction as Bill lazily threw you over his shoulder and headed towards the wagon to tie you up.

 You studied each and every gang member to try and work out the hierarchy and who were the kinder of the bunch. 

Mary-Beth and Tilly would often come and sit near you and ask you questions but you could never fathom the words to reply. Each time they tried one of the men or a woman called 'Mrs Grimshaw' would shew them away. The men never spoke to you....they would walk by and ignore your existence. However, one man who you haven't caught the name of yet would look over to you every so often with soft eyes. A look someone would give an injured puppy. But these looks only lasted seconds before his stern face would come and jump him back to reality. 

You would sometimes watch him around the camp as he did his chores and talked to the others. He seemed to be respected in the camp and many of these people relied on him. You guessed that's why he would sometimes disappear for hours on end. He was tall and broad, you could tell he worked hard as he had huge muscled features and bags under his eyes showing he hadn't had a good night sleep in weeks. The rim of his hat always seemed to cover his eyes but the few moments you caught them they were a bright blue and green.  You hoped that whenever he would look at you that he would come over and let you free but he never did. In fact he never went near your wagon, almost like he was avoiding you completely. He was quite a handsom man, although very tired and rough. Whenever he spoke to another member of the group it was either comforting them or antagonising them. You couldn't work him out.

The cold night started to draw in and you could hear voices around the campfire. You tried to listen in to the talking but everyone was just out of earshot. After being tied to the wagon for two days the strength was starting to come back to your body. You were able to hold yourself up and sit properly rather than slumped over. The pain in your legs and back stung whenever you moved after being in such an uncomfortable position for so long. 

''I think she must be ready to talk, don't you?'' You were able to recognise the black haired man's voice as Dutch from conversations around the camp. You heard rustling and next thing you know four men are approaching you. Their figures could only just be seen against the ever darkening sky until they came into view.   

''Now'' Dutch closed in on you ''Why don't you tell me where you have come from? We have fed you and shown you kind hospitality, the least you could do in return is talk'' He looked at you intensely waiting for an answer. You were just about to speak when you were interrupted.

 ''You some sort of spy? O'Driscoll maybe? Can you even speak or you a mute?'' Bill spat at you.

''I ain't no mute'' You spat back, although your voice was slightly hoarse. 

''Ohh she speaks'' He laughed back at you. He raised his hand to you. ''Well maybe you should learn some manners'' His hand started to come down, you closed your eyes and braced for the impact but before it can make a connection to your cheek it was intercepted. The man you had been watching with the soft eyes had grabbed his wrist and shoved it away from you.

''The hell do you think you are doin'?'' His voice was angry and baritone. 

''I was gonna teach her not to speak back to the man who saved her life'' Bill confronted the man. However, the man didn't back down, his frame became bigger and his brows furrowed. He clenched his fists and Bill backed off throwing his hands in the air in surrender.

''You ain't no man if you think you can hit a lady like that'' he threw back before turning to Dutch. ''Please continue'' He gestured in a sarcastic tone.

You couldn't help but feel thankful for this man. However you couldn't help think if Bill, the mountain of a man who is as mean as they come, backed down then was this man worse? Meaner and tougher? You wouldn't like to find out.

''Why thank you Arthur'' 

Arthur. That was his name. Finally you could put a name to the face. His face softens as both Dutch and him turn to you. 

''Miss?'' Dutch asked you to carry on.

''I ain't a spy'' You choke up the words ''I don't even know what a O'Driscoll is! I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time'' you let out a big sigh and hung your head low as if admitting defeat. 

''Why were you out here?'' The fourth man smiles lightly and crouches into your view. His eyes were soft as if to try and assure you that you were safe. You remembered him being called Charles. A big, strong man that you had always seen being kind to not only the people but the animals too.

''I was dragged from my home and left out here'' It wasn't far from the truth but you were not ready to tell them everything just yet. If they didn't trust you then why would you trust them. After all you have been tied to a wagon for two days. They all stood around you whilst looking at each other. Contemplating what to do with you. 

''Dutch'' Arthur looks questioningly at the man. ''May I have a word?'' Both the men walk to a quiet spot to talk in private. You watch them as they leave trying to read into what they were saying about you. 

''What is your name?'' Charles speaks softly. Bill scoffs at Charles speaking to you like it was a crime against nature.

'' (Y/N) '' You whisper softly. Not daring to look him in the eyes. 

''Nice to meet you (Y/N), I'm Charles. I'm sorry you have had to go through this. We are not the most trusting bunch but I assure you it is for good reason'' 

You smile weakly allowing yourself to look at him. 

''Okay! Charles let her go'' Dutch makes his way back to you, Charles and Bill with Arthur following behind.

''We do not do this often but we want to help you Miss''

''(Y/N)'' Charles informs Dutch before he carries on.

''(Y/N), you can stay here for as long as you need as long as you can earn your keep'' He looks you in the eye and you find you can't escape his stare. ''Mrs Grimshaw will give you some chores to do around camp in the morning unless you would rather decline the kind offer''

You shake your head at the four men staring at you. You lowered your head once again to look at your wrists.

''Great!'' Duch continues ''Bill let her go. Charles find her somewhere more comfortable to sleep. I guess I will see you in the morning (Y/N)''. 

Dutch turns on his heels and takes Arthur with him. As they leave Arthur looks over his shoulder to you and nods his head. You can't tell if your freedom was his idea or if this was a test to see if you would run and betray them. Either way you decided not to test the theory. Bill cut the ropes around your wrists and you rub where they had cut into your skin. Charles held his hand out to help you off the wagon and took you across the camp. He gets a bedroll from inside a tent and places it neatly on the floor.

''I know it's not a lot but I will find you something more permanent tomorrow'' He crouches beside you as you steady yourself down onto it. ''Get some rest. Tomorrow is a new day and you will find your place in the group before you know it'' He smiled once more at you before getting up to leave. 

You laid on the bedroll, you were so tired and you knew you needed a proper rest. Things suddenly came rushing to your mind. What chores will I have to do? What if I don't fit in? Can you trust anyone? And is Arthur as bad as you think? Sleep came over you quickly as the bright stars filled the night sky.

"Miss (Y/N)" the voice brought you back to reality as you were sat in front of the fire on the cold morning. "Dutch tells me you are staying with us so I have a couple of things you can do" the older woman steps in front of you as she speaks. Mrs Grimshaw is very assertive to all the gang members but especially the women. As you were watching the last couple of days you saw that she was always making sure everyone was busy and if they weren't she would be on their case faster then a fly on horse shit.

You look up at the woman slowly. "Of course Mrs Grimshaw, what do you need me to do?" You grimise as you try to sound helpful while dreading what she had in store for you.

The next couple of days past quickly and you managed to gain most of your strength back. The chores weren't so bad and it helped you to get to know everyone in camp. You helped the girls with cleaning and washing of clothes. Javier, a Hispanic man with an amazing acent thaught you how to make bait for him to go fishing with. He was very sweet but you could sense that he was a flirt with all the girls so you managed to not look into his comments too much.

Charles managed to make you your own tent to sleep in and you helped him to look after the horses in return. This was one of your favourite things to do because you have always loved these majestic creatures. Plus no one bothered you when you were with the horses.

Hosea offered to take you into the little town of valentine with Karen to shop for your own clothes. He was a kind man who always seemed to make sure that you were okay and settling well. If it wasn't for him the gang might not have fed and helped you as you recognised him from your first encounter there. You accepted, it was the first time you had left the camp in over two weeks now. Riding out in the back of the waggon you took in your surroundings. The way the trees broke into heartlands and the dirt tracts filled with civilization the closer you got into town. The bright blue sky with the sun baring down to touch your skin. Breathing a sigh of relief, feeling relaxed for the first time. Valentine was a small busy town that smelt of livestock. Karen turned her nose up at this as they pulled the wagon up to the hitching post.

"Here we are ladies" Hosea announced as he hitched up and helped you both down from the wagon. "I will collect some things from the post office and meet you back here" he tipped his hat to you both with a smile before leaving.

Karen was so excited to go shopping, she explained that she has only gotten out of camp for the first time yesterday.

"Two days out of that dump in a row" she smiled "must be my lucky week" she looped her arm through yours and you both made your way to the general store.

Before you reached the store there was the sound of smashed glass as aough man was thrown from the saloon window and onto the muddy street. Th biggest man you have ever seen followed behind him dragging him to his feet and punching him in the jaw.

"Is that Arthur?" Karen ran over to join the crowd and watch the commotion. You followed behind her watching the two men throwing punches at each other. It was Arthur. The man he was fighting was twice the size of him but Arthur wasn't backing down. Javier was sat on the stairs Infront of the saloon watching among the crowd shouting at Arthur to give it everything. At first the big man had Arthur beat pinning him to the ground but somehow he got loose and beat the man to the floor. Arthur was now ontop of the man, throwing punch after lunch into his skull. His face was full of rage and no amount of punching was going to shake it. A smaller man pleaded and managed to break them up, saving the man's life from Arthur. Covered in mud Arthur rose off him and wiped the blood from under his nose before walking away.

"That's our boy" Karen exclaimed. "Come on (Y/N), let's get you come clothes" she headed back for the store.

"Are we not gonna see if he's okay?" You questioned as you gestured to Arthur.

"God no! That man gets himself into situations like these all the time, he'll be fine! Plus he ain't one for pitty" she shrugged you off. You couldn't help but be impressed, the man Arthur was fighting was clearly biger and stronger then all the men you had ever seen. But somehow he still managed to overpower him. You glanced over to see Arthur with a few of the other men from camp before walking into the store.

Browsing the catalogue it didn't take you long to find what you wanted. Two laced shirts (white and blue), dark blue pants, some undergarments and boots to finish.

"Are you sure you don't want a skirt?" Karen pleaded. "You would look so elegant in this one" she pointed out a blue long skirt.

"No thanks" you giggled at her slightly seeing her face frown.

"Alright then. Suit yourself" Karen giggled back. "At least I know you ain't trying to impress anyone" she paused to think for a second. "Have you seen anyone in camp you like the look of?" She finally asked with a raised eyebrow.

You were shocked at what she had just asked. The camp had only been your home for a couple of weeks and you still haven't spoken to everyone properly. Your eyes widen in your response.

"What? No, I'm still getting to know everyone and besides I ain't looking for any man"

Karen searched your face to see if you were telling the truth. "No one?" She sounded shocked "Charles? You both seem to get on well"

"No, Charles is a nice man but we are just friends" you said defensively.

"What about Javier?" She insisted.

You shot her an unforgiving look and shook your head.

"John? Bill? Lenny? Micha? Please say it's not Micha" she giggled.

"No, definitely not, no and I would rather be shot" you giggled back "can't you just believe I ain't sweet on anyone". You paid for your clothes and thanked the store clerk kindly before making your way back to the wagon.

"What about Arthur?" Her words made you pause for a moment. Arthur. You hadn't seen him much around camp since the night you were released from being tied to the wagon. He would come to rest for a couple of hours always bringing either money or what he had hunted that day and leave again. You never spoke to him though, you felt very intimidated by his presence especially after seeing him fighting in the street. He carried himself with such authority like he was there to protect and provide and nothing more. When he was around he mostly kept himself to himself and sometimes would get involved with some conversation but because he was rarely there you didn't know if he was someone you could trust or someone to keep at arms length like Bill and Micha. Yet something was very intreging about him, but you didn't want to explore your curiousity as you may find that he was worse then the rest of them.

"No" you shook your head in response.

"Alright then. Well, I want to be the first to know if you change your mind" Karen winked at you.

Hosea was waiting for you both with new supplies in the back of the wagon. He helped you both into the back and before you knew it you were on your way back to camp. The journey back was quick as Karen told Hosea about your day out together. She seemed extatic that she was the one out of all the girls that was able to go into town again and for a full day too. You almost felt sorry for her that she was not able to come and go from camp as she pleases. However, you could relate to how happy she was to be out of camp. It was only a short trip out but it was the best day you have had in a very long time.

When you arrived back in camp you were greeted by an Irish man you had never seen before.

"Sean!" Karen screamed and jumped into the man's arms. He caught her and spun her around before placing her on the floor.

"Hello there, did you miss me?" He laughed at her. Before placing a kiss on her cheek. You could see the way she blushed when he did this, indicating to you that she was sweet on him. "And who is this stranger?" He turned to you.

"(Y/N), nice to meet you" you jumped off the cart and went to shake his hand. He pulled the back of your hand to his lips and kissed it sweetly.

"I'm Sean and the pleasure is all mine" he cheekily smiled at you.

It was already dark when you arrived in camp. You had been out from the early hours of the morning and didn't get back to camp until late. Everyone seemed in such high spirits as you all sat around the campfire listening to Sean tell the story of how he was imprisoned. Drinks were flowing and laughs were shared. You were sat between Abigail and Charles as everyone was sharing stories and laughing.

"And there is my saviour" Sean stood up to announce, gesturing to the other side of camp. Arthur rode in and hitched his horse up, gave the stallion a good pat before heading towards the group.

"I would have happily left you there like I told you" Arthur scoffed to Sean as he sat next to the fire opposite you. You couldn't help but wonder if he was joking or not but Sean giggled and slapped Arthur on the shoulder.

"Nah you love me really Englishman" he laughed and handed Arthur a bottle of whiskey. He took the bottle and raised it to him before taking a mouthful and passing it back. This was the first time you had properly seen Arthur interact with anyone so you observed him descretly. Abigail was talking to you about Hosea teaching her how to read. You couldn't help but not focus on what she was telling you but on what Arthur was doing. He was speaking to Uncle about how lazy the man is when suddenly he looked up and your eyes met. You panic looking away but it just made it more obvious that you were clearly stareing at him. From then on you avoided looking in his direction but still listened to the convocations around the campfire. Arthur stayed quiet most of the night only getting involved with convocations that were aimed at him which he would soon brush off. You tried your best to get involved with everyone and enjoy yourself. Finding yourself sat with most of the girls talking about past loves that you happily listened too.

The party went on into the early hours with everyone singing and dancing. Dancing had never been one of your strong points so when people had started to get up and dance you got up to go 'check the horses'.

This was your chance to slip away to your tent and get some sleep. You hadn't drunk a lot because you knew Mrs Grimshaw would be on your case to clean after the party in the morning. The last thing you wanted was to have a huge hangover whilst doing chores. Your eyes became very heavy and even the singing from the dying party couldn't keep you awake.

It became the normal for you to wake before the rest of the camp. You stretched your arms above your head, tied your hair into a braid and put on your new clothes before heading out of your tent towards the campfire. The morning was dry and a crisp chill ran through the air as you strode across the camp. Everyone was still asleep in there beds as you assumed they would be and all you could think of was your morning coffee. Before you reached the fire you saw a figure sat on a log facing you with coffee in hand and the steam rising to their face. You squinted your eyes to see if you could recognise who the figure was as you edged closer. Suddenly your heart stopped as you saw the man's clothes. It was Arthur. He hadn't seen you yet as his eyes were covered by the rim of his hat as he sat quietly. Your mind suddenly told you to turn around and go back to your tent before he catches sight of you. As you were just about to turn Arthur lifted his head to catch full sight of you. Damn it, you couldn't walk away now. Slowly you made your way over to the campfire and sat on the log opposite Arthur, much like the night before.

"Mornin'" Arthur lent forward and offered you a cup of coffee. He had a big black eye from the fight the night before and a split lip.

"Mornin'. Thank you" you took the coffee from him and settled onto the log. Your heart was beating hard. In the whole time you had been in the camp you had not spoken to Arthur Morgan. You tried to think of something to say to break the silence but your mind had gone blank.

"You settlin' well?" He looked up to catch your eye.

"Yes, thank you" you replied before taking a sip of your coffee and averting your gaze. A small smirk appeared on his lips. "What you laughing at?" You said defensively.

"Nothin'" he smirked again "Do you ride? Horses I mean"

"Yes but why?" You were confused by his question.

"Jonny boy was supposed to come out huntin' with me this morning but he ain't waking anytime soon after last night" Arthur laughed under his breath. "So I need someone to ride out with me" he looked you in the eye. "My horse can't carry two deer and you seem to be the only one awake. So you comin'?" Arthur stood up from the log and finished his cup of coffee before turning to you.

"I guess. Not sure Mrs Grimshaw will be too impressed me runnin' off" Arthur's gaze sharpened on you as if he knew you were just making excuses.

"I'm sure she will be just fine, if anything I'll get in trouble for stealing you away".

And with that he strode off towards the horses. You quickly finished your coffee and followed behind him until you were at his side. Now stood next to him you realised how tall and broad this man was. You felt very small compared to him knowing that you wouldn't stand a chance trying to escape him. The overwhelming thought of going out alone with the only man in camp that you couldn't read was filling your head. You were always a really good judge of character and you were able to know all the gang members before even talking to them. However, Arthur you were just clueless. At this point you just accepted that you may never know but now you are here going out of camp for the day with him.

"Take John's horse for now. Not like he'll be missin' her today" Arthur walked over to the mare and unhitched her before turning to help you mount. However, before he knew it you had placed your foot in the stirrup and mounted by yourself. A slightly impressed smirk blushed across his face before mounting his own stallion.

You followed close behind Arthur at a steady trot out of camp. The feeling of riding overwhelmed you with happiness. It had been so long since you rode last and it was one of your favourite things to do. A huge smile was plastered across your face as you patted the mare. You came out of the trees onto a dirt track and the urge to gallop came over you. Arthur could see the look in your eye and before you knew it you were both in flat out gallop. Johns mare was fast but was not as fast as Arthur's stallion. He was slightly Infront of you looking back to make sure you weren't dropping too far behind with a smug look on his face. You were not one for races although, the thought of you beating him to the small lake you were headed too sounded more than amusing. Without a word you spurred the mare to go faster, leaning forward and taking the weight into your feet as to not sit on her back. Arthur did the same but he was too late. You had already galloped past him and we're still gaining distance between you. Once you had reached the point of destination you slowed the mare down to a canter, then trot before walking. Soon Arthur caught up to you and your face was beeming because you had won.

"Good girl" you reached down to pat the mare.

"Damn girl" you looked up expecting to see an enraged Arthur but his face was bright red and smiling. "You can ride. That mare has never traveled so fast" he took a deep breath as the race had clearly tired him out.

"Told you I could" you laughed "she can be fast huh?"

"Not with Marston riding she ain't" he leaned down and patted his horse "even Siego couldn't keep up" he looked up at you still smiling. This was the first time you saw Arthur properly smile. Maybe he wasn't as bad as you originally thought but only time will tell.

You both rode side by side until you came to a small wooded area.

"Hitch up. We will go on foot from here" Arthur dismounted and you followed suit. He reached for a bow and arrows off his saddle and you realised you had nothing with you. No shotgun or bow. How were you supposed to hunt anything?

"Arthur, I ain't got anything to hunt with" you blushed embarrassed that you had come this far with no thought of what you would hunt with.

Arthur turned to you confused. "I only needed you here so I have an extra horse to carry the hunt back. Don't need you to actually do the huntin'" he shook his head as he started to walk into the woods the smile suddenly gone from his face. "Follow close to me and keep quiet".

You couldn't help but be frustrated with his comment. Did he not think you were capable of hunting because you are a woman? You didn't question him as you were still unsure of him and didn't want to annoy him. But your face was frowned and you both avoided any eye contact as Arthur carefully started tracking a herd.

It didn't take long before you came to a herd of dear. You crouched behind some trees and Arthur shot two down in no time. He had managed to kill the big buck and a doe which would feed the camp for the next couple of days. Although you were strong you were not able to lift the doe all the way back to the horses so Arthur sent you back to get them.

As you were on your way back to Arthur with the horses you suddenly heard gunshots coming from his direction. There was no time to think before you grabbed Arthur's rifle from his saddle and ran through the trees towards him. You suddenly felt your heartbeat climb and you temperature rise as you questioned what you are running into. Did any of those gunshots hit Arthur or is he hunting something else? Could he be dead. You got past the trees and you managed to catch a glimpse of Arthur.

He was crouched behind a tree with his shotgun at the ready. There was on coming fire from ahead and you could see five men shooting at Arthur. You had the advantage because they thought he was the only target so they weren't aiming for you. Eyeing up each of the men who were shooting at Arthur, you aimed 3 shots each meeting there target in a fateful blow. Arthur managed to gun a fourth man down as you turned your aim onto the fifth. You were both now shooting at the one target who was well covered behind a tree. Without communication, Arthur carried on shooting drawing the mans attention and you snuck round to his left side. You now had a clear shot and took it. The man dropped to the floor with a thud. Before making your way back to Arthur you looted the men for all they had. As you were doing this you noticed three other men that Arthur had shot before you had gotten to him. You made over $300 and two packs of cigarettes. By the time you reached Arthur he was busy tieing the doe to the back of his horse before lifting the buck like it didn't weigh a thing.

"Who the hell was that?" You approached Arthur. He didn't respond at first and you assumed this was because he didn't know and was too busy stowing the buck. You split the money and passed half to Arthur along with his rifle. He remained quiet as he finished hitching everything onto the horses before swinging round to face you.

"Who the hell are you?" He glared at you. "You ride like you have been in a chase, you are a bloody good shot too. Damn girl, where have you come from?" He had a serious tone and didn't break eye contact with you as he closed the distance between you until he was right Infront of you looking down into your eyes. You began to feel your heart beat increase as this strong man towered over you, like you were a helpless bug waiting to be squished. He didn't break eye contact with you once and his hand was hovering over his pistle holstered in his gun belt.

As much as you wanted to keep the truth to yourself for just a little longer, at least until you could trust the gang, you couldn't avoid Arthur. Especially after what has just happened. You were defenceless against him, you had no gun and he was double your size. Running wasn't an option considering how fast he was with a gun and you wouldn't stand a chance trying to disarm him.

"It's a long story" you look up into his eyes. His face was stern and he was not willing to back down.

"We got time".

--

Chapter 2

[orange-waterfalls]

Hugs From The Captain!

Captain Magnum x gn!reader

A/N: hi. it's me. i'm not dead! which is an awful surprise considering the amount of people who WROTE MY OBITUARY yesterday, PREEMPTIVELY in case I did die. but i didn't! so suck on that.(yes this is a markiplier quote no I do not remember what video) anyways here's a soft Magnum fic with a lil angst. as a treat. after fucking MONTHS. I have been kind of experimenting? with like more banter or realistic type of dialogue. just like. lemme know if u think it's good. Rated T for cursing. Fluff and sort of angst. Uhhhh tw: self-doubt, tw: guns, tw: alcohol, tw: drugs. Reader doesn't like. Use guns. Or drink. Or do drugs. Uhhhh I think that's it enjoy!!!

Word Count: 2.8k

Hugs From The Captain!

---

“Good job, matey!” Magnum yells out when you drop a large sack of coins on the ground. You breathe heavily and your arms are shaking, but by God you carried that shit onto the ship. In the middle of a gunfight, no less!

You don't respond, preferring to hit the deck as bullets continue to fly. You cover your ears with your hands and squeeze your eyes shut tight. No matter how long you'd be on this ship, you were sure you'd never get used to this part. You don't know how long you were on the floor, but when you looked again, two other crewmates were on the floor as well and it was silent. You scramble to your feet and look around, sighing when you notice the other ship sailing away.

"Good job, Y/N!" One of your mates says loudly, still on their stomach on the floor. Ah, yes. Gunshots. Ringing in the ears. Love it.

“Thank--!” You’re cut off with a squeak as Magnum squeezes you in a giant bear hug.

“Aw, you’re doin’ fantastic! That was wonderful! I never thought I’d have such a great first mate!” He turns to another crewmate. “...no offense”

“Some taken…” he sighs and rests his cheek in his hand.

"Mag-" you can't finish before you wheeze a breath out, and the captain takes that as a sign he should put you down. He does, holding your shoulders as you sway, and brushes you off a bit.

"Apologies… I get a bit excited," he flushes.

"You're-" you clear your throat, "you're fine."

"Anywho, let's all celebrate tonight! I have some o' that fancy whiskey in me cabin!" He suggests.

"Fancy?" You croak.

"Ya know. Fancy! The bottle actually has a label on it!"

"Right… uh, sure. We can do that. Ok."

"Fantastic!" He reaches out for another hug but freezes when you flinch away. He plays it off by grabbing a rope and telling the crew what to do.

You sigh in relief. You love the guy, you do, but goddamn he is strong. Sometimes a hug is a bit too forceful. You were sure he's cracked a rib before.

You stand next to him, waiting for him to let you know what you can do, but he just smiles and sets a hand on your head.

"Ye were wonderful today. Yer arms must be tired. Ye should go rest," He explains.

"What? No, I'm fine!" You put your hands on your hips. He squints at your arms, and you look down and notice they're shaking. You let them drop.

"Mm. Go rest," he instructs and you cross your arms before sulking away to your room.

--

You lay on your bed completely still. You'd been in this position for the past 4 hours. It had gotten dark and you were sure you missed dinner.

Ok, fine, your arms hurt before.

But now you couldn't feel your body at all. Everything was completely numb. Maybe carrying a giant bag of gold coins that was nearly the same size as you wasn't the best idea.

You hear the door creak and your heartbeat speeds up but you literally do not move a single muscle.

"Mate? Y'alright?" Magnum asks. You groan in response. That was supposed to be a "yeah". He walks over to your bed and you manage to move your neck a bit to look up at him.

"I have a feelin' yer bein' dramatic." He chuckles, a deep sound that echoes through your room.

"How dare you," You whisper, your throat hoarse.

"It can't be that bad."

"Not everyone is a seven foot tall mass of muscle."

"There's a bit I'm pudge in here too, don't worry."

"Whatever."

"We're celebratin'. Ye wanna come or are ye gonna lay here for another 6 hours?"

So it was 6, not 4.

"Magnum, boss, cap, mate, I don't think I can fucking move, much less dance with you people." Because whenever there's drinking, there will be dancing. You've been here long enough to know that is a fact.

"Here, I have an idea."

"Wha--" He lifts you up like you weigh nothing and you feel your face heat up a bit. He pulls you into a bone crushing hug. Literally. You hear and feel your back crack in several places. He drops you onto your feet and, again, you sway a bit, and again, he steadies you. You stretch your limbs, sighing.

"Uh… thanks. Still don't think I can dance, though..." You scuff the floor with the toe of your boot.

"Eh, thas alright. Ye can sing, can't ye? Ye know a few shanties?" He asks.

"... a few…" You say with a smile.

"Good! I'm sure they'll love to hear ye," He gently sets a hand on your shoulder. He sets it gently on purpose. You know because he was about to slam it down with a force that would probably dislocate your shoulder, but stopped a few centimeters away and made sure to let it down soft.

"Mm. We going now?" You pat the hand on your shoulder.

"If ye want."

"Bet. Let's go."

--

After an hour or so, you had exhausted your voice and all the shanties you knew. Magnum was right, the other crewmates were very excited to hear you sing. They even chanted beforehand. As soon as they recognized the songs they joined in they joined in. They started dancing after a while, too.

You're sitting by a light in the corner, sipping your drink. They're having a lot of fun, and you can't help but smile. You feel… safety. Comfort. Affection. Love.

You love these people. This is your family. This is a group of people who you might have never known if your life had gone just a bit differently. You thanked whatever being is out there in the universe for giving you this… family. This feeling of pure joy.

You hear loud creaking towards you as Magnum approaches. You tilt your head back to look up at him behind you.

"Oi. Ye alright?" He inquires in a voice much quieter than you're used to.

"Yeah, I'm good," You say, matching his volume.

"Ye were actin' like we were goin' ta haveta saw yer arms off," He teases.

"I thought you were!" You defend jokingly.

"I'da been the one to do it."

"Woulda given me a cup of beer and said 'it's basically an anaesthetic'."

"Well, of ye drink enough…" you both chuckle. You look down at your drink and swish it around in your cup a little. You can feel him staring at you and it starts to make you uncomfortable.

"What is it?" You snap a bit on accident. He frowns. "Sorry…"

"Ye sure yer alright?" You groan loudly in annoyance.

"Yes! I am absolutely sure, 100%--"

"Tell me and I'll buy ye a treat next time we get to shore." You both stare at each other for a moment. Your arms are in midair since you were cut off from your dramatics. He had an eyebrow raised and was looking at you suspiciously. You drop your hands onto the table.

"I feel useless." You say bluntly.

"Wha? Why? Did someone say somethin'? I'll shoot them out o' me cannon right now!" Magnum panics.

"See, this is why I didn't want to tell you!" You sigh and fall back in your chair.

"Wha d' ye mean?" He furrows his eyebrows.

"There's no… nobody said anything, I just… I got a bag. One bag!"

"Aye! An' that was very--"

"Mags, they each got at least two. Some even had three. You got seven. Plus a chest."

"Ok, so we're a little… little stronger than ye, what about it?"

"I'm not… useful to you! I'm not as strong, I'm not good in a gunfight, I can barely talk my way out of anything--"

"Ye talked John out of his potatoes."

"I thought his name was Jack?"

"Eh, he-he never corrects anyone. I called him James the other day and nothin'."

"Huh. But that doesn't count. I know him."

"Ye are useful, and even if ye weren't, yer a valuable… valuable? Yea, valuable member of this crew. I haven't seen 'em dance this much in months. I haven't smiled this much in months. Ye are a very important part of me ship. Crew. Me crew."

"...Mags, are you drunk?"

"Not the point. Wha I'm sayin' is we love ye and now we're attached and ye can never leave."

"Ah, I see. C'mon. Bedtime," You stood up and walked over to Magnum, putting a gentle hand on his arm. He squints at it.

"No," He looks up at you.

"Mags…" You warn.

"No," He crosses his arms and leans back.

"Magnum," You cross your arms. Is he really doing this right now?

"Call me captain," He smiles brightly.

"...I'm not doing that," You can't help but smile back.

"Please?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Why do you want me to?"

"I like it."

"Ok, Mr. authority complex."

"Stop psychoal… psychoan… psy--"

"Psychoanalyzing."

"Yeah that."

"Only if you get to bed."

"...bah."

"Bah, yourself. Stand up."

"I'm a lil tipsy, it's fine." He says, swaying a little. You put your hand back on his arm and he stares at it as you lead him to his cabin.

"You'll thank me in the morning when everyone has a pounding hangover and you just have a headache." You pat his arm.

"Mm. Mate?" He asks, still staring at your hand.

"Yeah, Mags?" You open his door and let him walk in. He looks at you standing in the doorway with this… weirdly soft look on his face.

"...I love ye." He whispers. Ok, that was way too quiet and a very uncharacteristic thing to say.

"Love you too. You're drunk." You repeat.

"I know. I still love ye."

"Thank you. Go to sleep."

"Cuddle?"

"No, you smell like whiskey."

"Please?"

"No. Love you. Go to sleep."

"G'night."

"Night."

--

"Morning, everyone." You smile over your cup at the tired and annoyed faces that walk through the door. Some mumble a "good morning" back, some only give you a wave, some straight up ignore you. Magnum walks in, visibly doing better than the others, and makes his way to you.

"Uh…" He scratches his beard.

"Hm. Let me guess…" you tap your chin with a finger and raise your eyebrows.

"...thank you." He sighs.

"Called it," You tilt your seat back and put your feet on the table.

"Yeah, yeah…" He grumbles.

“Sleep well?” You sip your drink.

“Eh… yeah…” He says after a couple seconds.

“That’s a hesitation I hear,” You raise an eyebrow.

“Mm… dream was a… a little bad…” He sits in a chair across from you.

“Bad? Bad how?” You tilt your head, and the look he gives you isn’t a very good one.

“Eh, jus’… jus’… mm…”

“Don’t wanna talk?”

“Not… really…”

“Ok. Coffee?”

"Aye." You stand up and get another cup of coffee with a little bit of sugar and some whiskey and hand it to him.

"... sugar 'n whiskey…" he says, surprised for some reason.

"Yeah. You like it that way, right?" You ask, worried you'd gotten it wrong.

"Aye, aye I do…"

"...is something wrong?"

"...no. Nothin'."

"You… sure?"

"Aye."

"Ok… I'm gonna… go see if the others want anything." He nods as you walk away.

That was. Very weird.

You shake your head and walked up to John. James. Whatever.

"Mornin'... Joseph." You say experimentally.

"Mornin', Y/N." He smiles. So, he just answers to anything. Great.

"Need anything? Coffee? Food? Drugs?"

"Why would we need drugs?" Another mate asks.

"For your hangovers, duh." You clap your hand on Jim's (Jake's?) shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll spike your drinks." They all thank you at different energy levels as you leave to get their individual cups of coffee. You feel someone staring at you and turn to see Magnum gazing at you from his seat. He clears his throat and turns away once you see him. You sigh and distribute the cups among the crewmembers. One of them stares at you as you hand them a cup.

"What?" You ask defensively.

"He's in love with you." She comments.

"Yeah, I know…" you sigh and sit down at her table.

"You know? What do you mean you know?!"

"I mean, I know!"

"Do you like him back?"

"That's a difficult question."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I love him a lot but he's a greedy bastard with an authority complex and he hugs way too hard."

"The hugs are not that bad." You give her a look. "Ok, yeah, they are."

"Uh-huh."

"You could… teach him how to hug and see where that gets you?"

"I think I'd hurt his feelings if I suggested that."

"Then just… hug him!"

"What? No!" You whisper-shout to get your point across but also make sure Magnum doesn't hear you.

"Why not?!" She whisper-shouts back.

"That's… weird! I don't give hugs! Hugs are not a thing I give! I get hugs I do not give them!" You both stare at each other for a minute.

"You're touch starved," she raises an eyebrow.

"No shit, so is he."

"One hug! That's it!"

"I refuse."

"I'm sure it'll make him happy!" You pause, thinking about it. He did seem a little upset when you flinched at him. You glared at the pirate and she gave you a shit-eating grin back. She knew what she was doing. Fuck.

"One hug." You hold up your finger to emphasize the point.

"That's all I ask." You point at her and stand up from your seat. You walk over to Magnum. He looks up at you, eyes widening for a moment.

"First mate." He nods.

"Captain," You nod back, "Can we talk?"

"...uh."

"Just real quick? Somewhere private?"

"Uhhhh."

"Magnum."

"Ok. Yea, we can… do that." You nod and began walking towards his cabin. After a couple steps you realize he's not following you and turn around. There he is, sitting at his table.

"Mags?"

"Hm? Oh! Comin'."

He makes his way over to you and enters his cabin. You enter afterwards, shutting the door behind you. You look at him, this 7-and-a-half foot giant of a man, fidgeting. Nervous. You squint at him. How are you gonna go about this?

"You hug too hard." You state. He frowns and drops his hands to his sides.

"Oh…" He says, sounding disappointed. Fuck hurting his feelings, he was gonna hurt your organs, goddamn.

"You need… you gotta be softer. More-More gentle. Like… like, uh…"

"I'm not sure I can--"

"Here, lemme-just…" you shuffle over to him and wrap your arms around his torso. You feel him tense up under your touch. You lay your cheek on him and just squeeze your arms a little. You can't reach all the way around, but it seems to be working pretty well for what you can do. His arms are just frozen in the air, and he keeps moving them just a little, like he wants to hug you back but can't. You inhale a little and smell gunpowder, wood, and coffee. It's a comforting smell, mostly because it's just his, and you can't help but squeeze a little tighter and nuzzle into him. His breath hitches and his heartbeat speeds up. You grin.

You're fucking with him. Not on purpose, but it's happening.

You finally pull away after a few minutes, giving one final squeeze to his midsection before finally stepping back. You look up at him, an innocent smile on your face. He just stares down at you, a blush on his face. His eyes are a little foggy, and you start to get a little worried. Maybe that was… too much, too fast.

"Mags? You okay?" You whispered. He seems to snap out of whatever trance he's in at that because he sucks in a breath and drops his arms.

"Aye! I'm alright! I'm going to uh… go now!" He announces loudly and stomps out of his cabin.

You chuckle as you watch him walk robotically over to the front of the ship, almost tripping over himself and yelling at anyone who laughed. You sigh, shaking your head and sitting on his bed.

You'd wait until he told you about his feelings. You'd wait until he was ready. You could do that... You could do that.

You look out the door again, seeing the crew all working, and him just standing at the wheel. He has a dopey, crooked smile on his face and his hands keep twitching like he can't contain himself. He catches your eye and looks at you. You stick your tongue out and scrunch up your face. He smiles wider and it looks like he chuckles. He looks away, embarrassed. You smile again before standing up and leaving his cabin, planning to ask what you can help with.

Hugs are good enough for now.

[justgillespie]

Missing (6/?)

Summary: Your next door neighbor, Luke Patterson (a.k.a. your longtime crush) has gone missing, and you think you could help finding him.

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: none!

Author’s note: Hi! So I’m back, and I’ve had a big writer’s block, so that’s why this part is kind of 💩. Anyways, hope you still enjoy!

Part 7

•

Sunday went fine.

You and your family went to church, you had lunch back at your house and then even watched a movie together, before getting everything ready for your sister’s boyfriend’s visit. He came and charmed your parents and yourself. He was very nice and polite. You couldn’t help but be grateful for the fact that he was nice to YOU. Tamra’s other boyfriends were usually indifferent at your presence and some of them would even get bothered by you, which you always thought was ridiculous because you didn’t even talk around them, as Tamra would ask you. And most importantly, he did like dessert. You and Tamra decided to bake Torta Tres Leches (your specialty) and he loved it. And after dinner, he helped you and your sister clean the dishes.

“...We ain’t searching for tomorrow...”

Tyler sang while washing a plate, and you couldn’t hide your surprise.

“You know Sunset Curve?”

Maybe it shouldn’t surprise you that much. They had performed in several places before. Maybe it should surprise you if someone didn’t know them.

“You know them?” He asked smiling.

“The lead singer is our neighbor next door.” Tamra informed him.

“That’s awesome! Could we meet him?” He said with shiny eyes.

“Sure. If he wasn’t missing.” Tamra said, placing the dishes in their place.

“What?” He said, his eyes wide open. “Really? That’s messed up! I know them because they tried to set their stuff in front of the caffe once, a while ago, but my boss kicked them out as soon as he saw them. But they dropped a demo on the sidewalk, I think on purpose, and I took it. I’ve been listening to it nonstop ever since.”

“Would you mind borrowing it to Y/N? She’s trying to reach them to find Luke. Luke’s the lead singer.” Tamra explained.

“Sure, I can give it to you this week.” Tyler said looking at you.

“Don’t worry about it. I don’t think I’m doung that anymore.”

“What? Really?” Tamra asked you. “Why?”

“Long story.” Not really.

Your sister looked like she wanted to insist, so you spoke again.

“I’m telling you about it later.” You rolled your eyes.

Tyler and Tamra kept talking about the band and she told him about the time she saw them playing at the bookclub. You helped them finish cleaning the rest of the dishes, quietly.

“I’m heading up to my room. It was nice meeting you Tyler.” You smiled politely.

“You aren’t watching a movie with us?” He asked, and you shook your head.

“Next time, I promise.”

“Perfect. See you soon, kiddo.”

You said you wouldn’t, but once you got to your room, you couldn’t help to open your window and look at Luke’s room again. Still empty and perfectly cleaned.

What Tamra said got stuck in your head. You started the investigation just four days ago, and you were already giving up.

I wouldn’t say it’s giving up, you thought, it doesn’t make any sense to keep looking for him if he has no plans of coming back.

Maybe there was such thing as too optimistic, after all. You underestimated the situation and expected too much. You didn’t realize how real this was until now. And right then it hit you: this wasn’t a joke. Luke was missing. Kind of. And you were trying to find him?

You must’ve looked ridiculous playing the detective.

You were still starring at the other side of your window when you heard Tamra laying down on your bed, in a jump.

“You didn’t watch the movie?” You asked, finally turning your head to see her.

“No. I told him to go home. It’s pretty late already and he has to work tomorrow.” She responded, looking at the ceiling.

You left your window seat and climbed onto you bed next to her.

“He’s super cool. I like him. Mom and dad did too.”

“Yeah.” You noticed the little smile on her face. “He loved you all too. Especially you. He says you’re adorable.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m only two years younger than you two.”

“Well, say that to him. He told me he’s taking you as his little sister. He’s an only child, by the way.”

“That sounds fun.” You joked and she hit your arm slightly. “I’m just kidding! But I always wanted a big brother, so he’s more than welcome.”

“Hey!”

“I didn’t say I want to change you for him.” You rolled your eyes. “I just want an older brother, that’s all.”

You tried to distract her for a little while, talking about Tyler, but that didn’t work for too long.

“What’s that about you quitting the investigation?” Tamra finally asked, and you sighed.

“That I’m letting the police do their work.”

“But, why?”

“It’s too much. I am just a sixteen year old.”

“You’re just months away from being seventeen.”

“Does that change anything?”

She looked at you carefully. “What happened?”

You shook your head before talking.

“Every time I think or feel I’m closer to find him, turns out I’m only further. Did you know this isn’t a movie? Where everything just comes in hand? Because apparently, I didn’t. And now I’m here.”

Tamra starred at you for a minute. “It’s weird seeing you giving up. You never give up. And you’re always so positive. It makes me crazy sometimes but it’s one of things I appreciate about you.”

It’s not giving up, you wanted to say, but maybe it was.

“But I guess you’re right. You are just a sixteen-almost-seventeen year old. How much could you do?”

She said it on purpose and you knew it. She wanted to get in your head. She just didn’t know she already did.

You just stayed silent.

You did feel bad. You tried not to think too much about it, but you did. You didn’t like the way you just... well, gave up. The way you were so close, and still didn’t get Luke. But it happened. And this wasn’t a game. It was real life.

“Are we not gonna talk about the cute guy that brought you home yesterday?”

Your thoughts fade away when Tamra spoke again after a while.

“Josh?”

“That’s his name? I didn’t remember. But, yeah, him I guess.”

“He asked me out. And I said yes.”

“Really?” She raised an eyebrow at you. “So you’re planning on dating him or...?”

“I don’t know. Maybe?”

“Maybe is not an answer.”

“Um, yes it is. As in, maybe I will date him. Maybe I will not.”

“The fact that you’re hesitating is a bad sign.”

“I’m just-” You sat in your place. “-not sure. What if I waste this opportunity? I mean, come on. Josh is cute. Really cute. He plays football, likes to read, he’s really sweet and he’s fun to be with. But...”

“He’s not Luke.”

“Yeah, he’s not... wait.” Your heart sank. “What do you mean?!”

Tamra chuckled. “You thought I didn’t notice? You are really obvious.”

“But- how-? What-?” You shook your head, confused.

“I noticed ever since we moved. You were all heart-eyed for him the day him and his family came with those delicious muffins.”

Somehow, you felt a bit relieved. At least she didn’t know you’ve been sort of spying on him.

“Every time he says hi to you, you have a dumb smile on your face. I’d be surprised if he doesn’t know you like him.”

You blushed. You really hoped Tamra was just exaggerating like she usually does.

“I’m surprised you never talked to him, though.” She added.

You just shrugged and didn’t say anything.

“So?!” Tamra asked. “You’re not gonna give me any details?”

“There’s not much to say.” You said. “I have a crush on him even though I don’t actually know him.”

“But you could get to know him. Once he’s back.”

You held back a laugh. If he wants to come back, you couldn’t help thinking.

“If you like him, you should go for it. I mean, I don’t see why not.”

“I don’t know. He makes me feel weird.”

“In a good or bad way?”

“Good way, I guess. But I don’t know how to act about it, you know? I’ve never actually dated anyone. I’ve been living out of crushes my whole life.”

“That’s because you never make time to date anyone.”

“I don’t have, the time to do so. I’m always either at school or dance. And when I’m not, I’m here practicing or doing homework. That’s why I usually bring my friends here instead of actually going out. Yesterday was the first time I went out in a month... What I’m trying to say is that dating is not a priority of mine. I like Luke, but nothing ever happens with him. If things were supposed to happen, they should’ve happened already.”

“But that’s because you don’t make a move.”

“Why can’t he make the first move?”

“Nobody said he can’t. He’s just not doing anything, so maybe you should do it first.”

“Don’t you think that the reason he doesn’t make any moves could be because he’s not interested in me?”

“Do you know that for sure?”

“No, but-“

“Then you will never know.” She sat and faced you. “You’re wasting your time.”

You wanted to disagree, but it was true. Luke wasn’t your first crush, but he was the first boy you’ve ever considered the idea of dating. Or at least you fantasized with that image in your head.

“I’m just saying.” She lifted herself up from your bed and walked to the door. “Didn’t you regret it when you found out he ran away? You’ll have a second chance, but it’s up to you, if you take it or not.”

When Tamra left, you tried to ignore everything she said, because it really was nothing you haven’t thought about already.

A second chance.

That reminded you of the promise you made to Mrs. Patterson.

You told her you would visit her the next day after school, when you found her at church. Mr. Patterson even thanked you personally for doing so, and told him she looked better ever since your first visit. But did you have the heart to tell her you’re not searching for Luke anymore? You weren’t even sure if she actually believed you could find him, but it still didn’t seem easy to tell her that.

•

“Hey.” Max sat next to you in your backyard, later that night.

It was ten thirty, or maybe eleven when you called him, and asked if he could come over.

“Hey. Thank you for coming.”

“Of course.” He said, nudging his elbow against your arm, slightly.

You gave him a smile.

“Sorry for not calling today.” He said and you frowned.

“Why?”

Max’s cheeks went red. “Uh- I don’t know, I just, um-.”

You chuckled. “I’m just kidding. It felt weird for me too. To not talk to you today, I mean.”

He relaxed his face. “Yeah, yeah. I didn’t know if you felt that too.”

“I do. You’re kind of my best friend now.”

He looked surprised to your eyes. Maybe even excited.

“I thought you already had a best friend.”

“Let me guess. You assumed, I had a best friend?” You teased.

He giggled. “Yeah. Exactly.”

“Well, you were wrong.”

You haven’t had a best friend since elementary school. Your old best friend, Ana, moved to another city the year you started middle school, and although you were pretty sociable, you never really found a friendship like hers again. It was tough for you, but you managed to keep going. It wasn’t like you didn’t have friends. But of course, you still felt the need of a solid friendship.

“We’ve known each other for... three months?”

“Two.”

“Just two? Wow.” He shook his head. “It feels like more. We’ve known each other for two months, and I don’t think we’ve talked as much as these last few days. I don’t think I’ve trusted anyone this fast before.”

You chuckled. “Me neither. It feels weird.”

“Yeah. And nice.”

“Yeah.” You looked at him. “I didn’t hear you say it, though.”

He didn’t have to ask to know what you meant.

“Come on. Say it.” You insisted.

“You’re my best friend too.” He rolled his eyes, smiling.

“I thought you already had a best friend.” You joked. But you actually meant it. Unlike you, he had Ian.

For your surprise, he frowned. “Who?”

You looked at him kind of annoyed. “Ian? When I asked you if you had friends, at the library, you said you had Ian.”

“I never said he was my best friend.” He then smiled. “See? You assumed.”

“I’m spending too much time with you.”

He laughed. “Definitely... but, no, Ian isn’t my best friend. We do see each other often, because our parents are close friends. And there’s school too. But we don’t like... I don’t know. Have deep talks? Or anything. What do best friends even do together?”

You laughed.

“We don’t even hang out together at school.” He continued. “He has his own friends.”

“But he went with you to ask more about Luke, the other day.”

“Well, yeah, we trust each other enough to ask favors. That doesn’t mean we’re close.”

You stayed silent, processing everything.

“It makes me feel bad that you don’t know what best friends do.” You then said.

“Thanks?”

“First of all, best friends tell each other everything.”

“Okay...” He nodded, like taking a mental note.

“I’ll go first.” You said. “I’m going out with Josh next Saturday.”

“You what?!”

“Yeah.” You said indifferent. “He kind of asked me out yesterday and I said yes.”

“I’m honestly surprised. I didn’t think he was your type.”

“Who did you think was my type?”

“Well, I don’t know...” He looked up, thinking. “I kind of see you with someone like Luke.”

“Really?” You said. Not really believing it. He had to be teasing. Maybe he knew you have a crush on him too.

“Yeah... actually, yes. It makes sense the more I think about it.”

You shook your head and almost decided to not confront him. But you just said best friends tell each other everything.

“You can say it now.”

“Say what?”

“That you know I like Luke. And tell me I’ve wasted my time, that I should’ve done something before and definitely talk to him once he’s back.”

“Wow, hold on a second.” He frowned and shook his head repeatedly. “You like Luke?!”

“Either you’re too naive or my sister was just exaggerating when she said I was being obvious about my feelings.”

“Honestly? If someone else told me, I wouldn’t have believed it. Man.” He scoffed, amused. “It really is hard to tell when you like someone. You’re just... all yourself with everyone. You don’t give special treats. Maybe Tamra could tell because she knows you better than anyone.”

You considered his theory. Maybe he was right.

“What I said about... about me seeing you with someone like Luke it’s true, though. I just haven’t thought about it until now.”

He laughed and you laughed along with him.

You enjoyed each other’s company in silence for a minute before you spoke again.

“I saw Reggie and Bobby yesterday. At the party.”

And you told him what happened. Maybe it wasn’t much of a surprise, but he was mad.

“Why didn’t you tell me?! I could’ve helped somehow!”

“Max, you were with Aria. I wasn’t going to interrupt.”

“You weren’t going to-.” He ran a hand though his hair, frustrated. “I can’t believe you right now! This was important! I mean, I would’ve get it if you interrupted me for some other stupid reason but this was about Luke! We could’ve found him, we-“

“Did you not just hear me? They wouldn’t say anything, just like you said before.”

“I’ll talk to them. Tomorrow at school-.”

“It wouldn’t make sense. Bobby said Luke needed some time. We don’t know how much time is that but we do know that he’s not planning on coming back soon.”

“But Mrs. Patterson...”

“I told you I sent him a message. With a little bit about everything maybe. Including his family.”

“Yeah, but he’ll think Amy sent him the message.”

“Does it even matter?”

“Well, I thought it would now that I know you like him.”

“The correct answer is, no. It doesn’t matter. The point is for him to know his family is okay. My feelings are not a part of this. Hopefully he’ll talk about it with his pillow and come back sooner than expected. For his parents.”

“...So, is it over? It’s done?”

You knew he meant the investigation, and you didn’t respond right away, trying to come up with something. You found yourself worried he would get mad again. Or reproach you like Tamra did.

“I think... at least for now, yeah. We’re done with that. We got enough information to know there’s really not much we could do.”

Another silence grew between you two.

“Come on.” You said after a while. “Tell me about Aria. How are things going with her?”

He smiled, like he was waiting for you to say that.

Max stayed until the clock ticked 12:48 and he only left because he remembered finals at his school started the next day. That was the reason he didn’t call you the whole day, because he was studying. That made you remember that finals at your own school started the next week. Exams at your dance studio did too.

But you would stress about that later.

Right now, you had a beautiful view above you, and you were willing to enjoy it as long as you could.

•

Taglist: @ifilwtmfc @sovereignparker @catbcyluke @marvelgirl300 @valeriasannchez

[barbika1508]

Perks of an open Pool (Octopus/SeaWitch!Yoongi x Human!Reader/ Smut)

Word Count: 9,4k

Genre: Fluff, Romance, PWP

Pairing: Octopus/SeaWitch!Yoongi x Human!Reader

Warnings: Cursing, Breeding Kink, Mating, Dom! Yoongi, Brief Dom!Y/N otherwise Sub!Y/N, Tentacle sex

Summary: It’s just your ordinary mated type of a couple, living together, loving each other and getting frisky as anyone does, with the exception of these two as a limb or two more might be involved.

Authors Note: It’s basically tentacle porn, simple as that! So, enjoy it and if you don’t there’s plenty other things to read! Anyways hope you’re having a good day :3

 Why am I getting agitated? I was fine not even an hour ago, completely calm and collected. My fingers remain drumming mindlessly along the side of my laptop, as I keep staring at the beat and the waves it has created, listening to the same part of the song over, and over again. The repetition is irking me, the missing part just growing and adding to my nerves. And going down and through the 20 versions I’ve made of the beat, it’s not sitting right frustrating me by this point. This is supposed to be a simple pre-chorus to lead the song into the main part but why in Poseidon’s name nothing is working right?!?!?!?!

Beyond my own little world, I pick up on other sounds deducting movement. Noises of moving furniture and footsteps aren’t quiet anymore. The agitation from before in my stomach lessens as I glance at the clock, but the irritation remains as I continue glaring at the screen in front of me. Letting out a heated exhale I switch onto another track completely, knowing I have 2 things to tweak, but instead for some reason this feels like an entirely different song with a different meaning than it felt the hour before when I was satisfied with it. I just let my mood sour even more, today seemingly being against me creative wise.

My concentration is easy to break as something above me falters to the ground, my mate adding onto my frustrations as she’s taking her sweet time of doing whatever she’s doing instead of directly coming down to greet me, like it is the usual. Turning my head to the left, I’m still left amazed time to time at the concept of the house and her idea which she conceptualized.

This was after all her childhood home, but she bluntly went ahead and demolished half of it transforming the lower part of the entire house, which was built on rocks, into an open pool area of sorts. To humans, it’s a chill barbeque/ relaxing era with the pool being directly connected to the ocean, opening up to natural causes.

The pool stretches outwards from her relatively small house, but it has a shallow area where I am settled with a laptop and my gear all kept on dry land, meanwhile my lower body is submerged underneath the water, two of my limbs working lazily time to time, by bringing the water upwards to keep me wet. The tiled floor is smooth and comforting in a way beneath me. I know exactly where they stop and natural rocks begin to cover the sea ground.

Summers are of course always the best times to hang out in this area. But it has switched for me as well into loving it, which is an oddity. I am cold blooded through and through, I come from the debts of the ocean, where no human has even reached or even been to, where sunlight can’t reach anything. So, the contrast of everything was monumental, the biggest hurdle being the sun that hurt my eyes, the brightness almost blinding me at one point. But I’ve preserved becoming stronger than I once was, my whole mood and liking of summer changing into one of enjoyment. And it’s all because of her. In summers it’s easier for my beloved to spend more time with me in the water, and on land as it’s warm enough for her to sleep here, and stay and work and do whatever she wants to.

Even though I don’t look like it but I crave skin to skin contact with her, at all times if I can. Having her close, at and in arms reach means I can easily protect her from any harm, and bad. Nobody will ever harm her on my watch, that is a promise I’ve made to the gods, an oath to them and myself.

Upon my train of thoughts drifting I stumble upon an idea, fingers quick to act and move along, dotting down notes, which quickly develop the said idea long, from a mere image to creating a sort of a universe on its own. With only half my attention on what I’m doing I focus the other part of my brain on my surroundings.

I can hear my mates’ sweet tone, as she speaks to someone words pronounced sometimes clumsily but the giggles make it up for it. Frowning slightly, it takes me a moment or two to figure out that she is speaking over her phone. Good. I’m in no mood to have company or wait for her to be done being all polite and give them her attention which should be on me most of the time.

Besides she didn’t greet me this morning when she left for work, our everyday morning kiss being skipped. I need to get back at her for that. And yes, she will probably say she left me be because I love sleep, I mean who doesn’t but that isn’t a good enough excuse for me not to get a kiss.

I quickly examine how I’ve went on with the inputs into the music program, the newly created song filling my ears as I press play still working along. Some of my limbs come to life, playing around the water, hydrating my skin but also fooling around my mood obviously haven lightened up at the new discovery and creation thanks to my very own muse. I’m not entirely sure how much time passes on, as I get easily lost but I am aware when my mate does decide to finally descent down, greeting me. I manage a mere nod, still working ahead. I will admit that I am ignoring her on purpose, giving a bit of the silent treatment, upon her actions this morning. My kind and I as an individual can be very petty as humans can be too, but we can take it to extremes if we want to.

It isn’t until she is suddenly right next to me, her legs in the view of the corner of my eye. I slightly twitch as she bends down, knees buckling. Before I can jump in an attempt to grab her from falling, she’s right there her warm lips leaving a kiss on my cheeks, my skin tingling not only because of the warmth from them but also because of the innocent gesture. Turing to look at her in disbelief she has a bring smile on her face. There’s no irritation in sight on her, as I’ve predicted there would be.

‘’Hey there Mr. Grump.’’ She teases seemingly in a cheerful mood. She should be upset that I gave her back some of her own medicine, knowing very well how she dislikes silence between us.

‘’I’m not grumpy.’’ I immediately reply frowning as she starts to giggle instead. I take her in for the first time today. She has already changed, wearing a big white t-shirt that reaches till her mid-thighs while a black garment which is probably a bikini is visible through the thin material easily so. Hmm.

‘’Uh huh. I’ll play along with you. I’m the grumpy one, obviously.’’ She continues happily, still grinning her eyes seeming warm. She shifts on her bent position, sitting back properly while she swings her bent legs, and submerges them into the pool right next to me. Automatically my body consciously or subconsciously gravitates towards her.

‘’I take it, you had a good day at work?’’ I ask sparing a glance at my limbs as they are quick to raise up and eagerly wrap themselves around her ankles, and up her calves. She wiggles her toes, her muscles tensing and untensing briefly as she relaxes one hand finding one limb, as she starts to play with it gently the others eagerly following and raise up higher over her two legs.

‘’Very good day. We’ve got more funding, meaning the cleanup is continuing successfully and will go on steadily.’’ She’s quick to explain eyes on me, while I slide the headphones off completely to listen to her, my mood to create diming as she’s finally back.

‘’Hmm, I’ve noticed there has been more halibuts swimming around recently.’’ I note glancing at her seeing her eyes spark up instantly ‘’You should still consider cleaning the north west side first before moving onwards elsewhere, like I’ve suggested. Start by planting close at first, small things. you’re gonna see the fish are gonna grow it all on their own into a healthy ecosystem…if nobody touches anything around there of course.’’

She claps gently along nodding her head, in excitement and is quick to assure me that she has told her boss about my plan. She always gets this spark in her eyes whenever she talks about her job, being a Marine Biologist, these kinds of stuff just entrance her. Her words do start to falter, as I save up my progress along the way. The silence we fall into after she’s done explaining their plan too briefly, has me turning towards her noticing the content but small smile gracing her lips, as she stares down into the water absent mindedly.

‘’Are you okay baby?’’ I ask halting everything and turn towards her, letting my right arm rest over her knee as I move closer taking her hand into my own eagerly. Her smile widens, free hand reaching up to cup my cheek which she starts caressing with her thumb. She is way bubblier than this, whenever she’s talking about future plans on her days in general actually. This calm demander is worrisome.

‘’I’m perfect my love.’’ She replies leaning closer ‘’Just perfect.’’ Her words do make my heart flutter even more so when she leans in to kiss me on the lips. It’s still a bizarre thing, this human interaction that is considered to be so intimate. Something simple as kissing, lips pressing against one another. It works though, there is this spark that kissing ignites even in my own cold blood. I quickly return my own affections towards her with shameless eagerness, as I’ve been missing her for more than half of the day.

She ends up giggling into the kiss once I swipe my tongue over her lower lip, and teasingly start to tug at her legs, and hands. The kiss gets broken thanks to me smiling as well, her laughter being one of my favorite sounds in the world.

‘’Are you done for now?’’ she asks leaning on her elbows her body positioned in an awkward manner but she doesn’t move away or show discomfort.

‘’Yeah, the project I was working on wasn’t good either way.’’ I point out lessening my hold on her. I turn to my laptop quickly closing everything off whilst she sits up properly stretching out her fingers and arms. I push everything technology wise away, as it’s all propped on a self-built pillow and wooden plank which she made for me a long time ago. It’s all prevention from things getting wet, and despite her meticulous waterproofing and calculation of risks I still make sure not to ruin anything or take chances.

‘’Liar, I bet it’s amazing.’’ She mumbles. I glance over just in time as she tugs the white fabric over her head, which leaves her in the two thin pieces of clothing which are very offensive. I don’t understand why she isn’t bare all the time. I prefer her that way and it’s just easier. Life is easier without those restrains and barriers. My eyes roam quickly over the expanse of her skin, noting how her skin has been sun kissed today meaning she has spent her time out in the open. Before I can drink her up, she’s sliding into the pool, submerging until her chest a quiet hiss leaving her lips smile never leaving her lips. I push myself backwards silently sighing in relief as I let myself sink into the water, my skin feeling rejuvenated. I keep 3 limbs on her, raising them to hold her around her waist, while I sink further into the water and backwards encouraging her silently to follow keeping my head above at all times, eyes not leaving her for a second.

‘’It needs work.’’ I reply watching as she shivers for a while the contrast of temperatures too sudden. She looks unbothered stepping forward and follows along, moving her arms around warming herself up automatically. Turning towards her properly I catch onto her hands, her giggles filling the air as I tug her into me immediately wrapping myself around her protectively and teasingly as she can’t move a muscle in any way, she wants to my limbs making sure to hold her still. I automatically grin upon hearing giggles, as she lets me move her around trusting me whole heartedly even as I almost submerge her, but manage to hold her above the water level ‘’This is what you get for calling me a liar human.’’ I mock jokingly and push us away swimming towards the open ocean, bringing her along with me.

The colder and warmer currents, have her shuddering but she simply musses at me ‘’I’ll repeat myself; You are such a liar Yoongi-yah!!!’’ She exclaims grinning her hands finding their way to rest over my chest, as I move her to partially straddle me, the tiles below us being replaced by smoothened out rock. Stopping mid-way across the pool I stop us, taking in the cooler water currents that brush over my back and arm, whilst I hold her where the warmer current is floating around ‘’One of these days I’m going to make you admit that!’’ I only chuckle at her behavior simply admiring her and press a kiss to her nose quickly ‘’Yah!’’ the exclamation has me laughing, and half submerging underneath which leaves me unbothered ‘’Lets move on okay, pabo!!! Where are you even taking us?’’

And there it is her immediate curiosity, as she looks ahead at the vast ocean eyes falling back to glance along the rocks that same spark I mentioned before just burning up.

Briefly let’s mention the pool again…it might seem to the naked eye that it is in fact opened to the ocean and that it is welcoming anything in. Technically speaking it kind of is, but there’s a specially built underwater gate that prevents animals and other intruders to just float in into my home. Otherwise the benefits besides that ones are that it lets in fresh water and takes out the so to speak old one. Pushing us into motion in no time we reach the gates, which I prop myself onto holding her easily as her legs wrap themselves around my body, giggling as I brush the tip of a limp just bellow her exposed thigh to the edge of the undergarment ‘’I didn’t mean it like that.’’ her hand is quick to brush the tentacle away and to give me a stern look which she fails at because of her smile.

‘’Hmmm what a pity.’’ I reply faking disappointment, while she wraps her arms around me lovingly and despite her statement and action, she still leans in to kiss me. I sigh into the kiss contently, living the rocking motion of the waves that rock us up and down gently, while her touch is everything.

But were we are settled currently the sun is beating down on us, and it’s making itself annoyingly present by warming my skin up, even though I’m submerged more than she is. I do recall the north side which is just in front of me, being perfectly shaded the sun being blocked by the house perfectly so across the rocks on that side of the house.

Knowing when she’s getting low on oxygen, I break away brushing a strand of a lose few hairs from her face ‘’Are you in a mood to explore, my love?’’ I ask her curiously knowing her well enough to predict what her next answer is going to be. There’s a reason why I stopped here.

‘’Not really…’’ she starts hesitantly, glancing towards the ocean again. I’m reminded constantly everyday how much I love her and why exactly I do, and this is one of the moments as I take her profile in. Her eyes are focused straight ahead, expression portraying a longing for something greater, something she wants and has wanted her whole life. She doesn’t know it yet herself what it is, but the ocean is calling for her I know that for certain ‘’…I’ll need to refill the oxygen tanks first, we can explore another time.’’ She turns to me, with a smile. I can just feel how the tension melts from her muscles, and note in her body how she relaxes completely. But thanks to that I can see the tiredness resurfacing knowing she gives it her all at her work and for others.

My heart aches because I don’t want her to be tired, or worried and stressed at all. If it was up to me, I’d happily provide for us, find treasures frequently to afford only the best things in life, wanting to give her everything she wants and wishes for. But I’m being completely blocked off by her human stubbornness, her desire to work to a certain point infuriating but to another understanding.

‘’Whatever you want, my everything.’’ I reply leaning in to kiss once more. It starts out slow, lazy even as I brace her against the gate and let my hands submerge from her back lower to take a hold of her under her thighs. I love her legs, not only because they fascinate me, but because of how they feel under my arms and hands. Her thighs are an absolute delight to grab and hold onto. Don’t even get me started on her ass.

I smirk as I feel her tongue prod at my lip. She’s isn’t being forceful but she is playing a game plainly teasing me. I let her struggle on purpose, letting my hands roam over her thighs, fingers touching everywhere I can, while her own hands are rooming my back, then my neck, until she is cupping my jaws. I almost purr when she let her right-hand slide under my ear and into my hairline, nails scratching against my skull. My limbs practically vibrate, and on their own they wrap themselves more and more around her legs, for sure leaving imprint in their wake, but she told me countless times she doesn’t mind.

Sensing her growing frustration, I decide to let her have her fun letting her have some control, her tongue quick and eager to intertwine with my own. Her hand repeats the motion she did briefly ago, nails skillfully scratching me perfectly, causing me to gasp involuntarily as I tighten my hold onto her trying to tug her even closer which isn’t really possible anymore as I’m already crowding the very air she’s breathing. I want to touch every inch of her, my blood starting to feel as if it’s boiling. I want her. I want to eat her all up.

Just as I swipe my tongue across the roof of her mouth she is pulling away. Reopening my eyes, I notice how flustered she has gotten, breathing deepened as she half pants staring at me with darker eyes. I smile proudly seeing how I affect her ‘’Hmm I’ve missed you.’’ I find myself admitting running my fingers sideways and around to grab a hold of her glorious ass, the flesh smooth and oh so perfect in my hands.

She snorts leaning in to nuzzle her nose against mine, the ministration always endearing even though I’m still missing the point of it ‘’Me or my ass?’’

I muse glancing downwards, but end up looking straight up at her exclamation and how quickly she tugs her arms backwards to cross them, which only brings her breast to the front more ‘’Both.’’ I reply honestly which has her gasping. Now she is acting dramatic.

‘’Pfff sure. I see how it is!!!’’ She rolls her eyes looking away from me still holding her arms crossed, legs still wrapped around me, body slightly turned away. She’s adorable.

I squeeze her ass instead as an initial reply ‘’Babe, your ass is glorious how could I not miss it!!’’ she turns to stare at me in bewilderment, but the blush that’s getting more intense over her features is a dead giveaway that she doesn’t mind my crude words. My words aren’t even crude we’ve both said nastier things. Foreplays can be very fun.

‘’You just want me for my bodyyy.’’ Comes a reply which has her bursting into joyous laugher. It’s an inside joke between us from a TV show we’ve watched a long time ago. I only stare at her in adoration, as she throws her head back, hair cascading down touching the water even though she has it tied up into a mess ponytail. My entire focus is on her face, admiring in fascination at the way the side of her eyes circle slightly, the way she is showing her blunt teeth, nose slightly and adorably so scrunched. I’m fucking rejoicing as her laughter graces my ears, her voice shooting in general, but it’s her laughter and her giggles that melt my ice-cold slow beating heart any time.

‘’It’s a little more than that love.’’ I say smirking as she ends up chuckling at the end eyes finally landing on me once more ‘’I’m here also for the food, and music equipment.’’ I end up whispering. She bursts into another fit of laughter pushing me away playfully at first but ends up wrapping her arms around me, and to my surprise I’m getting an onslaught of kisses peppered all over my face.

‘’Help somebody I am being attacked by this puny human!!!’’ I fake shout simply raising my voice, which gets her to bite onto my ear the cheeky human indeed that she is. I gasp staring at her in bewilderment when she leans back to look at me, and shows me her tongue briefly.

‘’You are really asking for it.’’ I state as she scrunches up her nose and then puts on this innocent expression eyes darting upwards as if she has done nothing wrong ever in her life. I let my limbs crawl upwards over her lower half, as I’m holding her around her waist hands still on her ass to hold her steady.

‘’I am innocent, I have zero idea what you are on about.’’ She goes on further making me giggle, a few ideas popping in my mind with what I want to do to her.

‘’The only innocent thing here are the fish.’’ I reply to which she simply snorts glancing around as if fishes are swimming near us ‘’You on the other hand…’’ I end up sighing heavily, as I’m coming up with a lot of ideas, I know I won’t be able to fulfil all at once. Her stamina isn’t like my own, even though since we’ve been together the first time, she’s gotten to endure a lot more than what she was used to.

‘’Uh huh go on.’’ she says teasingly both hands ghosting over my shoulders, fingers finding the vertebrae of my spine. It has my shuddering for a moment, limbs relaxing slightly around her but wrapping themselves higher up one peeking over her shoulder only now I notice. I can feel the edge of her bikini bottoms, and I subtly try to move them to the side which so far is working as my hands are simply holding onto her flesh. The key to this method is going slow.

‘’Are you going to work tomorrow?’’ I ask keeping on a cool expression not wanting to give anything away, as my excitement is rising. If she says no or yes.

‘’Depends. I could not go.’’ She sings teasingly bringing her fingers to the nape of my hairline. I’m trying very hard not to just purr our loud, it feels that fucking good when she does it.

‘’That wasn’t a yes or no, my little human.’’ I go on giving her a more serious look, as I reach up to cares her cheek. She visibly gulps, eyes fixating onto my own.

‘’I’ll take the day off.’’ she replies with a more careful tone which has me smiling widely leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead.

‘’Good girl.’’ I praise her, feeling how her heartbeat is beating quicker. Her skin is still warm against my own ‘’Now be good for me, and climb up.’’ as I speak I move us further out, towards where a boulder is settled, having been rolled and cemented into an empty sloth perfectly and is the best resting place for her on sunny days, and on rainy it’s my napping rock. But in heated moments like these its perfect for something else.

‘’Yoongi-ah, should we move inside first…’’ she starts glancing upwards and back towards the beach and other houses nervously while I’m already maneuvering her upwards which has her yelping briefly voice getting cut off once her perky ass lands on dry land.

‘’I don’t understand where this shyness comes from on some days I really don’t.’’ I speak out loud more to myself, all the while I grab the two strings that are holding the bottom of her bikini together and easily undo them. The top follows expertly as two of my tentacles snatch the garment away.

‘’Yoongi!!!!!!!!!!!!’’ she half shouts hands grabbing onto my wrists, which does make me glance up at her in question, her hold lessening but remaining on me.

‘’Are you intentionally pushing my buttons today baby girl?’’ I ask letting two of my limbs let go of her calves to get a hold of her wrists.

‘’I’m not! It’s just, the beach is crowded and…’’ she starts to ramble. I take the chance of her brief distraction and worried glances backwards and around, to tug away her hands, easily pinning them next to her body.

‘’If you are so worried about others, then I suggest you keep quiet to not bring attention. I can help you out with that if you’d like too.’’ I grin in the end, and let one tentacle raise up over her still clothed core, and upwards her tummy, following every curve along the way. Regretfully I pass her breasts and let the tip start ghosting over her neck as she snaps to look at me her jaw locked tight. I keep heavy eye contact as she glares at me and tries to struggle, attempting to break free which is of course completely useless.

‘’This is not funny.’’ She goes on looking like she’s mad. You’d think she’s pissed off. But ohhh I know what’s going on in that pretty brilliant head of hers. This is turning her on. I can smell her besides the sea salt in the air, her pungent heavenly smell. Its why my limbs are already tugging the flimsy useless piece of fabric away and chugging it away which leaves her lower part bare to my eyes only.

‘’Oh baby, nobody is laughing.’’ I comment smirking ‘’Now, be a good girl and stay silent.’’

While two of my limbs hold onto her hands, I wrap two more around her thighs lifting and bending her legs, holding them wide open, meanwhile I eagerly lean down, poking my tongue out as I lick a long stripe from down upwards over her delicious core. Her breath hitches loudly, as I eagerly lick over my lips, then just dive in for more at first just blatantly licking her juices.

I can hear how she’s trying to keep quiet, but is failing miserably as small but noticeably loud mewls are leaving from her. Getting more serious and of course eager, I use my left hand to spread her lower lips revealing her folds properly. Perfect color of pink and a luring warmth and smells has me entranced. Happily, I dive down sucking directly onto the little numb that was so foreign the first time we’ve done this, but now I know exactly which flicker of my tongue can send her off. Hence why I start doing everything, to build her orgasm up quickly.

It has her reacting flawlessly and just as I’ve predicted in my mind. Her noises stat to raise up in volume, body bending backwards as she lies onto her back. Letting go of her clit, I teasingly lick over her lips giving her a second and then I’m dipping my tongue finally into her hole knowing it turns her on for some reason. A load moan tears itself out from her, which has me grinning smugly as I raise my head upon an urgent call of my name ‘’Yoongi!’’

‘’Yes, my love?’’ I ask ready to argue in return but what I’m met with is a desperate expression, cheeks completely flushed as she opens her mouth, sticking her tongue out as if to show me it.

‘’Please.’’ She suddenly begs. The way she’s rendered, the visuals are just stopping my brain from functioning normally for a moment. My blood has speed up, and my nerves are starting to tingle more and more, as I myself get turned on and at attention, body buzzing.

‘’Please what? Use your words, you are my good girl after all aren’t you?’’ I tease her happily smiling wider at her eager nodding.

‘’I’m your good girl. Please, I want…’’ she pauses but doesn’t remove her eyes from my own ‘’I want you in my mouth.’’ She almost whispers. I don’t push her on, and accept it as good enough.

‘’You are a very good girl today, my sweet, sweet human.’’ I coo, tilting my head ‘’There you go, gorgeous.’’ I watch as the tentacle that I left at her neck, raises slowly. She raises her head looking absolutely greedy to have it in her mouth. Teasingly slow I hover it near her mouth, while my fingers absently play with her folds tracing her lower lips. The initial touch has her flinching briefly in surprise eyes darting down to meet my own, as the pads of my fingers brush over her clit. So easily distracted. While her eyes and attention are focused on my ministration I watch giddily almost as the tentacle slips down, over her lower lip and into her mouth filling it. The warmth sends a brief shiver to run over me, but otherwise the feeling of her throat closing in and the choked sound that arouses, has my hunger raising.

‘’That’s it.’’ I coo, pulling the tentacle out letting her regain her breath just to push it back in, her throat this time accepting it properly. Her glossy eyes remain on me, obediently so as I fill her mouth, and stretch out her throat more and more, keeping in mind that she needs to breathe now and then, slowing my ministration just for her. Setting up a rhythm, I smile hungrily as I look down at the redness that’s starting to replace the pinkiness. Closing my eyes, my tongue finds her heat, tongue eagerly once more scooping the gathered wetness, as I taste the tanginess of her juices.

At a particularly well aimed and manoeuvred tongue swipe, she mewls and chokes on the tentacle in her mouth, the sensation of her throat closing in around tightly, has me shuddering harder than before. Reopening my eyes, I watch my limb retreat her chest rising and falling as she catches her breath, eyes ready to spill with tears at this point. A trail of saliva is still connected with the top and from her lips. She is absolutely fucking gorgeous.

‘’Yoo-n-gi…’’ she manages voice slightly rough. I haven’t pulled my mouth of off her, so instead I simply start sucking, and licking, building up a combo while with my right hand, I slowly prod at her entrance, my fingers which have dried now getting coated in her flowing juices. More sounds spill from her parted lips, breathless and whiny ones, as I let the tentacle slip inside her mouth once more muffling those glorious sounds. I don’t force it in this time, letting her suck onto it, her tongue quick to dart around it. It tells me that she isn’t distracted enough, even though her eyes are shut tight eyebrows furrowed, her fingers and toes curled up.

I start to push my middle finger into her tight and wet heat slowly loving the way she clenches up, the sensation on its own has a rather violent but invisible to the naked eye shudder run down my human spine, which then spreads and vibrates briefly all over my limbs that freeze for a second, but then just tighten their hold onto her. My precious human. Everything has me boiling on the inside, the visual, the sensations, her smell, her noises. It has me restless, has me wide awake and feeling so alive. Every piece of me wants her.

Knowing her body, instead of teasing her further or going slow by opening her up gradually, I let my pointing finger slide in next, a tiny bit forcefully as I do meet some resistance. Her body tenses, as she half sits up her yelp getting muffled.

‘’Shhhh…’’ I coo smiling letting two of my biggest tentacles reach around her to hold her up in the half sitting position she has put herself into ‘’Relax my love, just relax for me.’’ I encourage her, watching the sweet delicious tears run down her cheeks as our eyes meet. They aren’t there because she is hurt, but because she is overwhelmed with all these sensations.

I tug my fingers out and push them back in while maintaining eye contact, and slowly raising myself up to be closer to her ‘’That’s it, my good girl, doing what I tell her to do, hmmm.’’ I hum in the end, loving the obedient and almost innocent look she gives me. She is starting to get really desperate by the on flow of whines, and thighs which start to tremble now and then.

As I pull my limb back from her mouth, it falls open droll dripping from her slightly bruised lip. Gathering strength not to hurt her, I push my body upwards to reach her mouth, eagerly licking over her lips distracting her as she chases my tongue with her own. Now half propped up I readjust my position on the edge of the rock, and haver her legs spread but around me, using my left arm to hold her up, while with my right I can finally start to finger her properly and the way she wants me to, curling them up and scissoring them once I slow down my thrusts.

She cries into our kiss, tensing up once more, as I aim for her g-sport which has her crying out, incoherent words spilling. I grin wildly and lean my forehead against hers holding her still and tight against me, absolutely loving how she has clenched around my two digits.

‘’Use your words my little human.’’ With that I slow down, the action itself has her immediately nodding eyes meting my own in clear distress.

‘’P-please Y-Yoongi, please I wanna…I wanna cum, please Yoongi, my love, please, please, please don’t stop.’’ She cries with more tears spilling down her cheeks as she starts to tremble, her high near but fading.

‘’Then cum for me, gorgeous.’’ I whisper letting go of her wrists so she wraps her arms around me, body tensing and straightening up, as I resume to finger her towards and through her high, maintaining it and intensifying it. Instead of shouting out, I feel her blunt teeth sink where my shoulder meets my neck, while her nails dig and drag into my back leaving red marks over my skin. I groan at the burn, the tingling in my spine and vibration from my limbs an indictor how I’m boding.

Not wanting to be cruel this time, I start to slow down, coming to a stop slowly her body mimicking my touches as she eases down. Pulling my fingers out regretfully so to be honest, her body suddenly all but collapses onto me. I start to hum a song I’ve learned a century ago, and just hold her close to me, loving how she radiates heat and projects it onto me warming my cold self-up.

We are left in a comfortable silence, even when I lower us down into the water after licking her juices from my fingers. A quiet hiss leaves her lips, but she doesn’t protest or makes an attempt to move, as I push us away and lower us until only our shoulders and collarbones are sticking above the water. I let my limbs caress her body, and trace her skin gently as the ocean current would. No surprise is that even though I’m trying my best to let her gather herself I am getting very impatient, with my own needs.

So, I start by portraying it, by pressing open mouthed kisses over her collarbones, enjoying also as I submerge my face under water. I can hear her chuckle, as I leave marks in my wake, but upon her more awakened state I start to raise up, still marking her up happily and let my hands cup her ass again, pinkies tracing the juncture of her legs towards her folds again.

‘’Every time I think humanly so may I point out…’’ she starts tone unhurried and not so husky anymore. I let two of my limbs raise over her hips, up her ribs in the meantime ‘’…I think; “It can’t get better than this.” But yet you always leave me…’’

‘’Fucked right out of your mind?’’ I finish her sentence smirking as I still remain marking the side of her neck. Regretfully so I will have to heal the marks, as humans are ridiculously so timid creatures at certain things. She chuckles at my statement, gasping at first which turns into a moan, as the two tentacles have wrapped themselves around her breasts, the tips now playing with her perky nipples.

I glance downwards watching them raise up and down, noticing how her skin breaks into goose bumps.

‘’Basically.’’ She breathes out looking down at me. I smirk to myself rolling my shoulders, as she leans in this time hands reaching up to cup my face, but she doesn’t kiss me. She presses a kiss to my cheek and leans closer, lips touching over my ear ‘’Fuck me, Yoongi-ah.’’ she whispers.

Another spark goes through my system, which has me vibrating practically, and changes my soft look into a hard one as I stare at her as she has moved back, and is now biting onto her lower lip. It’s a rule that she isn’t allowed to do that. Only I can bite her lick. (And no this is nothing like 50 shades)

‘’You need to rest my love, you…’’ she leans in to kiss me, stopping my train of thoughts all together. It’s not only me that has a huge effect on her, she can also completely change me, my thoughts, my mood, my everything basically. A mere human. She truly is something else.

Her kiss becomes demanding quickly, body leaning forward shoulders squared up as she takes complete control over the kiss. I’m surprised once she starts to move her hips. Tries to as she is entirely leaning onto me having no proper support around us. So, I help her slightly, by pushing her back against the rock again, one of her hand momentarily leaving me, so she can brace herself back against it. I can feel her smiling into the kiss, breaking it but she isn’t letting go, her right hand which has been supporting the back of my head, has her fingers curling and tugging onto my hair making me groan quietly at the tug and pull, meanwhile her other hand is quick to find its place over my chest, lowering down over my right nipple. Her touch is brief as she continues to move her hands lower.

‘’I should return the favour.’’ She says sensually her hand still lowering, ignoring the small tentacle that eagerly wraps itself from her wrist to her elbow just caressing her skin and holding onto her.

‘’We don’t have time for that baby.’’ I reply trying to stay calm. Even though she is my mate, and we’ve been together for what feels like an entire lifetime it’s still not completely easy to reveal all f myself to her. I still get nervous, when we’re intimate. But I’ve gotten good at hiding my feelings and nerves away.

‘’Alright then.’’ she sighs sounding disappointed but licks her lips teasingly and as if quietly saying ‘Guess you’ll be missing out’. I shudder as her fingers trace the front tentacles, not really intending to play with them. She does have to lower herself down to reach what she wants, but stops mid-way, face slightly lower than mine is as she readjusts herself and her hold on me ‘’Yoongi.’’ She whispers staring straight at me hands tightening their hold ‘’I want you to fuck me.’’ she states completely calm hand suddenly raising up cupping my cheek the coolness and wetness from the water slightly calming me down ‘’Do you want to fuck me, my love???’’ I simply blink staring at her trying to calm myself down as I nod at her question ‘’I’ll keep my hands here alright?’’ she goes on wrapping both arms around my neck, and intertwines her own fingers, while she wraps her legs around my body her knees tucked where my human hips would be ‘’Please, fuck me.’’ she whispers not doing anything ‘’I’m so wet and ready for you, my mate.’’

Even though I tried to hide my nerves, she saw right through me. My mate. I press her against the wall gently letting my limbs do the work as to anchor us against it, so we aren’t moving too much thanks to the reappearance of the waves that is making the pool unsteady enough so that with a small mistake something bad might happen.

Not saying anything yet I reach with my human hand up and take her right into my own, kissing the top part of it, before lowering both hands down underwater. Her expression does change into a surprised one at the beginning, mouth opening as to say something but she simply closes it, her gorgeous eyes focused onto my own. Even though we aren’t physically connected right now, we are one.

I watch as colour returns to her cheek, turning it into a more intense pink-ish colour. I can feel her body warming up, blood rushing through her veins, same as her heart spiking in excitement. A few shudders one after another just shoot down my spine, and it is a human trait I’ve learned, but fuck the sensation thanks to it, has me experiencing something no one of her own kind would, on the male side. Readjusting my grip, I cup her hand instead over the top part. I lean into her but this time, I rest my forehead in the crock of her neck, staring down watching our hands through the water. Finally, I move our hands forward stopping before my body. A short gasp leaves her lips as I just hover our hands close, meanwhile the pit in my stomach start to boil in excitement. My cock isn’t necessarily like my limbs, I can’t really control it per say. It has humanoid traits but it doesn’t act like a tentacle it’s hard to explain it. Letting go of her hand, I reach in to grab a hold of it feeling how much it has filled up and grown. I tug it forward to the front, past the cosy and safe confine of my other limbs. Some sort of goose bumps raise over my skin as well, as I feel very exposed and vulnerable, even more so when the tip of her fingers touches the head.

A gasp involuntarily leaves my parted lips, but she’s quick to press a reassuring kiss to my cheek, her right hand that’s been resting on my shoulder, kind of gripping it in anticipation or excitement, loosens up and reaches up to my hairline again nails scraping against my skull which has me relaxing slightly.

‘’May I?’’ she asks calmly, her breath fanning warmly over the side of my neck. I barely manage a nod but she understands it perfectly. Instead of grabbing onto my dick as I thought she would, her fingers touch my wrist instead at first. They gently caress it, and lower themselves down. I automatically tense up once, the tips of her fingers are touching just over the base of my cock where I’m holding it. It’s such a contrast her touch against my own and it’s not only temperature wise.

I start biting onto my lower lip, eyes closed and just feel, how she gently traces my dick as if she’s doing it the first time (She isn’t just let me clarify, but it is rare and special whenever I let her touch me like this). Her hand finally wraps itself around me, in the middle but pulls up towards the head, which is very sensitive and has me hissing, my dick practically twitching and following her warmth on its own.

‘’Hmmm Yoongi-ah.’’ She moans softly, fingers brushing the tip again which has me letting out a faint sob ‘’Shhh it’s alright my love…’’ her hand circles around my cock again, but lowers down towards my hand again ‘’Will you fuck me my love? Will you fill me up so that I’m leaking for days?? I want you to fuck me, so I won’t be able to walk tomorrow, I want to feel you in my womb, want you to fill it all up…’’ I’m surprised at the change in her, the submissiveness from before replaced by this strong and dominant presence she has put on.

And her words do have a tremendous effect on me. They have me buzzing, wanting her more, want me to fulfil every wish she has. Again silent, I grab onto her wrist and pull our hands upwards, at the same time leaning backwards noticing that the sky is setting, with the sun sinking over the horizon. But that doesn’t matter. When I look at her, her hair has dried up, cheeks not so pink anymore.

‘’Yoon…’’ before she can finish or properly start her sentence, I grab her by her throat and squeeze while at the same time, I grab onto my cock again and easily manoeuvre her how I like, by spreading her legs wide open whilst at the same time, I let another tentacle to raise up and slide into her mouth, letting go of her neck not wanting to actually choke for real. The two tentacles from before that have just been caressing her breasts now tighten as well, and another two joins to wrap themselves around her nipples. Two more make sure her arms remain under my control.

‘’Fill you all up huh?’’ I start with a deep tone readjusting half of my limbs and drag her backwards towards the shallower part of the pool and away from any unwanted eyes. The only lights that are always turned on are the pool ones ‘’You don’t want to walk tomorrow huh little human? Want me to fill you up so that you’ll be leaking, your womb filled up for days?’’ she eagerly nods at my word’s eyes glassing over as she reverts back into her sub state.

‘’I don’t think you can take it.’’ I challenge her, eyebrows furrowing as she turns to glare at me. I simply let the tentacle shove itself further into her throat, feeling it start to close in. But she still glares at me defiantly, like she wants to say something. With my right hand, I simply let it run over her exposed pussy. I let my middle and pointing finger trace lower to her asshole which has her body tightening up ‘’Your little human body, can’t take me whole darling.’’ She starts to properly choke pretty tears glittering as they fall down from her eyes. Pulling the tentacle out she gasp for breath, heaving. Meanwhile I finally find the perfect position and sit on the smooth ground. Getting a hold of her hips I straighten her up, arms locked behind her back tightly.

I grin widely as she looks at me ‘’I’ll split you wide open, is that what you wish for??’’ I ask casually while she stares at me still in defiance before something in her brain clicks and the desperation slips back in.

‘’Please.’’ Her voice is gone, but I understand the word she mouths.

I don’t even give her a heads up, as I raise her above me, bend her knees and plant them on the floor. I let some of my limbs attach themselves on her, as I take a hold of my cock and start to force it into her. She gasps and mewls her body’s natural reaction at first is to run away from the intrusion. We’ve been over this so many times. It’s all natural, as is the size of my cock which is above average, and I’ve put that into human terms, her quote directly.

My mouth falls open, as the head of my dick enters her, and eagerly wants to chase after the warmth. And yet despite the onslaught of pleasure that’s overwhelming me in waves, I hold myself back just to stare at the way her eyes roll back, and feel how her thighs and forearms tense up meaning her fingers and toes are already curling up. Her head falls backwards revealing her half marked up neck. I mimic a human way of mating which is; a thrust. It has me entering more halfway to be precise but she suddenly shouts out body jerking and then going limp only her hips briefly shaking until they stop. I smirk staring as her head falls forward, to which I cup her cheek and take a look at her. The moisture on her skin is from sweat, the sight bringing a chuckle to rise from my throat, as she continues to breathe deep eyelids half closed not leaving my own eyes.

I readjust myself slightly, and grab a hold of the bottom of my cock, to help and guide it properly into her. The waves of pleasure are still going through me, my spine tingling more and more demandingly. But I ignore my own pleasure at the moment in favour of making sure she’s alright. I set her hands free and take her weight off her legs, settling her so that she’s simply straddling me arms resting between us limply.

‘’Fucked out 2 times, another point for me.’’ I state as I sit up and start marking her left side eagerly loving the still unusual taste of her skin.

‘’It’s not…’’ she starts tiredly ‘’It’s not a com…’’

‘’Not a competition yeah, yeah.’’ I chuckle in the end, licking the shell of her ear before I look at her, at her heavy eyelids that are slowly rising and falling as my cock continues to pulse inside her ‘’Do you still wish to continue my love??’’ cupping her face I look at her with such adoration, because she is my everything. Truly she is the reason I’m living and alive. And I’d give anything for her to be happy an get whatever her heart desires.

She lets out a groan of what sounds of discomfort, and closes her eyes briefly. Looking at me a smile stretches across her lips ‘’So full. M just…’’ She trails off looking intoxicated making me grin and nuzzle my nose against her a trait that she likes to do to me, as it is considered childish.

‘’Hmm yeah? Are you feeling good baby?’’ I prod on, waiting for her to get comfortable enough to continue.

‘’So-o goooddddd.’’she practically purrs her fingers that are resting on my lower abdomen, curl up as she attempts to rolls her hips. And that is a sign to continue. I simply hum in agreement, and move her body up slightly so there’s enough room to start fucking her ‘’Ahhhh..’’ she gasps head falling forward again, but this time her eyes remain open as she stares down. I know for a fact that she’s trying to see through the water as much as see can to see us connected. I find myself getting breathless the more times I tug out and re-enter her, the tightness the heath, the feel of her velvety walls all around me, are starting to feel overwhelming. Giving in, I let her be as I lie back getting submerged all besides my face while I let myself get overwhelmed by everything.

It’s easy to succumb to pleasure, especially given how much she is giving me; because she is giving me literally everything. Everything starts to feel too much, but not enough. It’s never enough. I can hear her moans, how they roll of her tongue the sounds matching to those of an angel if you ask me. And through hooded eyes I watch as she moves her hand, placing it over her own stomach. When she presses against it, I can feel her hand. She tears her eyes away and up to meet my own, a goofy smile adoring her lips suddenly.

‘’I-I-I love y-y-you…’’ she manages out, those simple 3 words warming my cold heart every time she says them.

I push myself upwards bringing my own hand over hers  ‘’I l-love y-you too, Y/N.’’

Her thighs start to tremble again, hands reaching for something to grip onto, which again end being two of my tentacles that eagerly wrap themselves over her forearms. Her strength isn’t enough to hurt me at all no matter how strongly she squeezes. Meanwhile my hand remains pressed plat over her stomach, and I just remain half in awe as I feel myself move in her, reaching and brushing up against her womb. By this point she has gone quiet, breathless, and speechless from how overwhelming it must be. Glancing up I watch as and can feel as her orgasm hits her and takes completely over, her mind and body. As I feel her tummy, images of children running, and swimming some that look like her other like me, running around fills me up with joy and excitement. But the sight of her so undone and vulnerable that alone…it’s all because of me. The only person the only being I’ll ever be so open with, the only one I care about, my heart, my body, my soul all belong to her. Everything.

With those train of thoughts and the actually imagine of her with a big belly, it has me spiralling over as I finally let myself get washed away with the tide.

I still am aware on what’s going on around us, I hold her close to me feel her hand wrap around my back, hold me in return. I can fee her lips press kisses to my neck, my cheek, I can feel them moving and faintly can hear her sweet tone. She’s singing. Huh. A siren. I always tease her that she has sirens blood in her, but she always denies it. So, if not a siren she is an angel like I’ve mentioned.

‘’Yoongi-ah.’’ She whispers her tone clear. I spread my fingers testing out how my limbs work, my other limbs which are submerged in the water as most of my body has sunk down work normally still tingling all over. I reopen my eyes seeing her smiling widely. I don’t even remember closing my eyes let alone lying back down again, my mind having shut down for a while. She’s leaning above me, comfortably lying over my front and is running the pads of her fingers over my face, with this far-away look again in her eyes. But once they met mine its like she has found herself again ‘’I love you.’’ She whispers again, eyes crinkling as she smiles looking genuinely happy.

I find myself smiling easily in return at how ridiculous my human is, but look at her and remove my hand from her belly to cup her cheeks that are still warm ‘’I love you more, my sweet human.’’

Copyright 2020© by barbika1508. All rights reserved.

[khadij-al-kubra]

Worst Impressions are the First (ch 7)

Main Characters: Logan, Patton, Roman, Virgil (Human AU)

Pairings: Romantic LAMP

Word Count: 5036

AO3

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Author’s (longer than usual but it’s for good reason) Note: *The Apocalypse—2020. Zoom in on a plague rat turned writer. She has survived thesis projects, getting a Master’s degree, burnout, writing and illustrating a children’s book, being a slave for the U.S. census bureau, months of overthinking anxiety spirals, and one or two incidents involving an asshole skunk. But now, battle weary yet unwavering in her love of art and love for her loyal readers, this onesie-clad tea slurping book dragon....has finally arisen from the ashes*

I LIVE BITCHES!!!!!!! And I am SO SORRY for taking so long!!! I’ve been hard at work, been editing like a mad woman, and I even have a beta now! The gorgeous and talented @humbletortoise So I  am OFFICIALLY off hiatus!!! *cue confetti canon* 

Also, one of the biggest reasons I’ve taken so long to update is because I’ve spent the past month or so essentially retconning the fuck outta this fic. I realized looking back at earlier chapters in this story that, although I was proud of them at the time and greatly appreciate the positive reactions, they were...not my best work. (shitty first drafts if I’m being honest) That’s because, at the time, I was trying to split my attention between writing this fic and working on grad school stuff, which resulted in my writing for this not being as best of quality as it could have been upon first posting. This story deserves my best, and so do all of you. So now I hope to give you that. 

I encourage you to go back and re-read the previous chapters up till now (trust me, they’re near unrecognizable to the first drafts, but in the best way). Or if you don’t feel like doing that, you can just continue on from here. totally cool. For the sake of convenience and my own sanity, I’ll attach the AO3 Link to this fic from the start. I may also start just posting chapter updates on tumblr but only have the link to the chapter and add my reader tags. Again, for the sake of my sanity because Tumblr is a bastard when it comes to posting fics. (Also PLEASE let me know if there are any tagging issues if anyone’s on my tags list; yet another reason i’m considering just linking my fics in the future)

Anywho, without further ado, at LOOOOOONG last, here is the next chapter!

Chapter 7 - (POV Roman)

When Roman had offered to walk with Logan to class, it was only partly out of an innate sense of chivalry; a side of himself that he rarely got to show on account of being a socially awkward gay disaster. Though mainly, he saw it as a chance to get to know his second soulmate better.

He certainly hadn’t expected two long minutes of civil but silent walking. Well, as silent as a stroll through their school could be with its usual racket buzzing around them. With a vocabulary as big as the continents of Africa and Eurasia combined, you’d think Logan would be more of a conversationalist. Alas. He merely walked in step with Roman. They glanced over at each other every so often, but Logan stayed tight lipped and seemingly impassive; fiddling with his bumblebee hair pin every now and again. Damn. Looked like he was going to have to make the first move.

Roman was bad at this. How did people usually…Oh yeah, common interest. That’s a thing. He wracked his brain for some sort of ice breaker. One that’d make him look cool and calm or, something, in front of Logan. He was a fairly decent student though not quite mathletes level. He could compliment his outfit maybe? Was that too forward? Too shallow? Maybe he could find common ground? That was as good a place to start as any.

“So! So uhh…What kind of music do you like?” Roman asked. Yeah, that’s good. Everybody likes music.

Logan glanced at him. “Can you be more specific?”

Roman’s brow furrowed. “I mean, like, your favorite genre of music to listen to?”

“Classical,” said Logan in a clipped tone.

“That’s cool. I don’t really listen to classical myself.”

Logan only hummed, his face neutral. Roman was really hoping for more than that. A few awkward seconds passed, then Logan spoke up.

“Are you perhaps a fan of the classic Sherlock Holmes novels?” He inquired.

“Um, I haven’t gotten around to the books yet, actually,” Roman said, scratching his earlobe. “I mean, I’ve heard great things about them. And I’m a big fan of the Robert Downey Jr. movies.”

“Ah. I see.” Logan said, giving him the judgiest side eye.

Come on, Roman thought. Give me something to work with. “Oh! What about theater?”

“What a frustratingly vague inquiry.”

“Well, excuse me for trying to get to know my soulmate a little better.” Ay come jode, work with me here, man!

Logan sighed. “While I understand and appreciate your intention, I believe ‘getting to know someone’ as you put it, requires a certain level of specificity. Anything less indicates a somewhat shallow level of sincere interest, and I greatly despise shallow conversation. That said, if you’re inquiring as to whether or not I enjoy theater, no. I don’t understand the concept of professional make believe, though I appreciate it as an art form. I assume you’re a fan?”

Is he seriously implying I’m shallow? Roman groused, pushing his red frames up the bridge of his nose. Ugh, forget it Roman. He’s throwing you a bone here. Take it.

“Obviously,” said Roman, gesturing dramatically. “I mean I’m no actor—Eesh. No. Yikes—but everything about the artform enthralls me. And I like all kinds of genres and eras of plays, from Shakespear to Ruhl, but musicals are by far my favorite, because like, there’s so much you can do with them design wise. I mean just look at how groundbreaking Hamilton was.”

For a second, Logan’s face actually softened, his eyes lighting up. But just as Roman thought they were finally about to make some progress, his stony companion was back to wearing that platinum puss.

“Ah. How… original.”

Roman blinked. “Are you saying my tastes are basic?”

“Well, yes.”

Augh! Okay. Yep. I don’t like him. Patton was going to be so disappointed, and Roman was too. He’d wanted so badly to get along with all his soulmates, but Logan was a snob! Way less intimidating than Virgil and his ilk, but still a jerk. I wonder if soulmarks can make typos or something? Thank the stars they’d already arrived.

Roman and Logan filed in with the rest of the class for seventh period. Somebody had the liberty of opening a window– the AC was still busted in this classroom– so for once there was actually a decent breeze cutting through the usual mucky Florida humidity. Still smelled like it would probably rain later. Good thing Roman had packed an umbrella just in case, Mom’s orders. His hair looked too good today to be wrecked by frizz.

Roman took a seat at his desk, running distracted fingers over the carved letters in the wood while he mulled over his predicament. Just look at him over there, thought Roman as he glared at Logan, not two rows away from him. Sitting with his hands clasped on the desk all smug—of course he’d be near the front—and with such disturbingly good posture. What is he, a robot? Who is he to call my interests basic, the NERVE! And okay, sure, like Hamilton, sometimes I get over excited and shoot off at the mouth. But great Zeus, does that guy show passion for ANYTHING besides academics? Roman blew a raspberry, plopping his head in his hands.

He always thought soulmates were supposed to get along, even as just friends for life. Balancing each other out, bringing out the best in you and forming a deep connection—that was the whole point. He sighed to himself. Cymbals clashed less than he and Logan did.

He was stirred from his brooding by the bell. Apparently Mr. ‘Call-me-Terrence’ Williams had materialized without him noticing. Okay fine, he should probably pay more attention, but he was having a crisis here.

“Afternoon everyone,” Terrence greeted in that measured, upbeat tone of his.  

He draped his navy blue blazer over the back of his desk chair and rolled his shirt sleeves to the elbows. Roman pitied the poor guy;  he had to teach sauna of a classroom all day. He could see the glisten of sweat on his teacher's smooth forehead as he wrote things on the board. Yet he still kept a pleasant attitude towards his students.

“Alright class!” Terrence started, “Today we’re covering the next section on the American Revolution. Specifically, the Battle of Yorktown...”

Roman mentally punched the air. My time has come. He opened his textbook to the right page but didn’t bother looking at it. He already knew most everything about Yorktown. Not just because he’d listened to the Hamilton soundtrack fifteen and a half million times, but also because he’d done actual research on the event and time period that the musical took place; There was always the off chance he’d get to stage crew or, heck, even dramaturg the show. He liked to be prepared.

“So the battle of Yorktown took place in 1781, but a great deal of its success was thanks to the French Allies. Many especially aided in fighting the British Troops surrounding New York. Now who can tell me where the French Soldiers first landed?”

Roman half raised his hand. He was pretty sure he knew the answer.

“Logan.” Terrence called.

Roman turned to Logan desk, where his hand was held high and mighty.

“The French Ally ships first landed in Rhode Island, then made their way to Chesapeake Bay,” said Logan, adjusting his glasses. Not even a hint of second guessing in his voice.

“That’s right!”

He almost missed the quick smirk on Logan’s frustratingly pretty face. Look at that smug—thinks he’s so smart...Okay yes, he is smart, but he doesn’t have to be a show off about it. Terrence continued through the passages, calling on a student every now and again to review. Of course, Logan got called on most and he got every answer right. Roman didn’t feel like raising his hand anymore.

“Of course there were many turning points in the revolution, but Hamilton’s return to the field for Yorktown was a key point.” Terrence continued on. “And keep in mind- this was a man who up till now had never been in a position of command before. Not to mention the mental strains he must’ve been under, especially having had to miss the birth of his son Philip, the first of three children he had.”

Wait a sec. “Well, that’s not right.”

Even though he’d muttered, apparently Mr. Terrence still heard him. “Come again, Roman?”

Shoot. “Um, I said,” Stop sounding timid, you know you’re right. “I said that was, um, wrong.”

The whole class turned to him. Oh great, history class has its eyes on me. Roman cleared his throat and tried to look taller.

“What I mean is: Hamilton had eight kids, not three. And on top of that, Phillip was born a few months after they won the Revolution, not during, so Hamilton didn’t miss the birth of his son. I mean sure, it’s a small thing, but the devil’s in the details as they say. Heh.”

Terrence gave the most insultingly bemused look. And Roman definitely heard a few kids snickering behind him. He glanced quickly at the culprits and felt his ears go hot. This is what he got for putting himself in the spotlight.

“Roman, I applaud you for participating in the class discussion,” Their teacher started gently, “but I’m afraid you’re wrong on this one. If you read your textbook close you’d see in the fifth paragraph where it mentions from one of his later letters—“

“Actually Mr. Williams, if I may, Roman is correct.”

Roman saw Logan at his desk, one hand raised while the other adjusted his neck scarf. Was the teacher’s pet actually… backing him up?

“It is a common misconception that Alexander Hamilton only had two children, even more so modernly, what with the musical having only named two of them. However Roman has clearly done his research on the plays historical accuracies, which is more than I can say for some.”

Logan shot a cool but scathing look at their recently snickering classmates and they withered. Roman fought the urge to point and laugh aloud. He did however stick his tongue out real quick. What? He could be shy and petty at the same time.

“My guess,” Logan continued, “is that this textbook edition is also either misprinted or outdated, judging by the publication date in the copyright section.”

Brows furrowed, Terrence looked at the textbook laid open on his desk. He flipped back to the front, before pulling out his cellphone—“I’m the teacher, I’m allowed to do this. You guys aren’t.”—and after what Roman guessed was a quick Google search, their teacher looked up. His eyebrows drawn in a ‘hm, well damn’ expression.

“Looks like you’re right, Roman. And thank you Logan for bringing to my attention about the textbooks. I’ll have to talk to the principal about hopefully getting some updated materials. But we’ll see how that goes,” Terrence, muttered the last part, though Roman was close enough to catch it. Terrence cleared his throat and moved back to the board. “Maybe if we call on assistance from the inside. Much like how the Sons of Liberty sent in Hercules Mulligan to spy on the British...”

“Perhaps if we knew of an immigrant who was unafraid to step in,” Logan said just under his breath.

No one else seemed to notice the reference, but when Roman did, he felt like a mini volcano about to burst rainbow lava. Apparently there was a lot more to his soulmate than first meets the eye; and now that he knew, Roman was determined to see more of it. The rest of class passed quickly and everyone filed out to the halls as the first bell for the last class period of the day rang. Roman made sure to catch up to Logan on the way out and staccato tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey, Logan?” He said.

When Logan turned, he swore time slowed down for a moment. The brilliant boy’s skirt flared around his waist, and somehow his skin glowed even under the dull, inconsistent school lights. His posture was erect yet natural, he could have been raised among nobility. Amidst the stench and clamor of loud sweaty students, Logan was as poised and striking as the goddess Athena. Oh...

“Yes, Roman?” Logan asked.

Roman gulped. “I uh, just wanted to thank you for backing me up in there.”

“Thanks are unnecessary,” Logan said. “I detest when someone is shamed by other students for speaking up in class, regardless of whether or not they have the correct information.”

“Well regardless, thanks for coming to my aid in the face of academic danger.”

“Dramatic, but my pleas—oof!”

A hurried passerby bumped into Logan from behind, rushing off with a half-assed ‘sorry’. Logan, caught off guard, stumbled right into Roman’s arms. The two looked at each other, cheeks filling with heat. Roman caught a whiff of something faintly floral on Logan, something natural– a lavender and honeysuckle perfume, perhaps. It was heavenly. They were still in the middle of foot traffic though, so he maneuvered them to the side. Which was tricky since Logan was still so close to him and also a good two inches taller with the heels.

“Well,” Roman flashed his pearly whites. “Seems you’ve fallen for me.”

Logan pulled away, but his lips quirked upwards in a teasing smirk. “Oh please, I merely stumbled into you.”

“Ah, but stumbling is the first step towards being swept off your feet.”

“Bold words from an abashedly charming homunculus in such an… eye catching ensemble.”

Did he call me charming!? He composed himself, “Hey, don’t let the sweater vest fool you. I may be short but I’ve got guns.”

“Aaah. But mind over muscle, as they say. Do you find yourself up to the task?”

“Only if it’s you, my brainy blossom.”

Roman’s class was in the other direction, but Logan didn’t need to know that. They walked through the halls, conversing. class was still in the next ten or so minutes, but Roman was having fun. Banter with Logan felt surprisingly easy. Natural like they’d been at it all their lives.

“By the way, was that a ‘Guns n’ Ships’ reference I overheard, pastel poindexter?” Roman asked.

Logan cleared his throat. “It… may have been, yes. I found myself unable to resist toppling the figurative dominos.”

“In other words, you seized the opportunity you saw,” Roman said, matching his own reference to the source’s cadence, which got a chuckle out of Logan.

“Precisely. Under more casual circumstances, I may have even recited Lafayette’s part.”

“You can rap? You can rap Guns n’ Ships? Like, the whole thing, no tongue twists?”

Logan stopped for a moment, turned to Roman. The taller boy cleared his throat, and after a moment wherein he seemed to mentally restrain himself, he simply adjusted his glasses.  “I have an appreciation for poetry.”

Roman blinked rapidly. Holy shit, he’s an even bigger nerd than I am. He definitely needed to see that at some point.

They turned a corner, stopping just outside of the science room. Some students were going in to take their seats, and the teacher was already making notes on the board. Logan pulled an AP Physics book from his backpack, but made no move to leave, much to Roman’s delight.

“So then,” Roman leaned against the eggshell wall, “How come you acted so indifferent earlier and called my tastes basic? Oh, and I think I remember you also implied I was shallow?”

Okay, yeah, he was still kind of salty about that. But then he saw the shamed look on the nerd’s face, and Roman wished he could have taken it back. Logan looked at his shoes then back at him.

“To be candid I was… hesitant to show the full extent of my enthusiasm. In case you thought I’d be—I believe ‘being the most’ is the term— it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve caused someone to lose interest in conversing with me due to informational overload. I nearly bored my Aunt Patricia to sleep once talking about a fascinating article on jellyfish. And considering how I blundered our initial meeting—“

“Pfft, ya think?” He mentally slapped himself again when Logan went tight-lipped and turned to go. “No, no, wait. I—I’m sorry. Truly. ...Truth is, I was no gentleman either. I’m not always great at thinking before I speak. It’s why I’m so awkward around people. Takes a while for my true charming nature to shine through.”

“Clearly. Still, you show a level of interpersonal aptitude that I, well, lack.” Logan fiddled with his hair pin again and a stray hair came loose. “Reading people and expressing emotions has never really been—It’s something I struggle with.”

Much as Logan tried to maintain his cool composed posturing, Roman could tell that this was something that really bothered him. He tried so hard to seem put together and confident and serious, but really he was just as awkward and insecure as anyone. Roman smiled softly and stepped closer to Logan, reaching up to tuck the loose ebony strand behind his ear.

“Hey, everyone’s got things about themselves they can work on. Including me,” Roman smiled. “And believe me when I say that I will never judge you for being passionate about something you like. So if you ever want someone to ramble about jellyfish or Sweeney Todd to or—I dunno, calculators or something?—I’m all ears.”

Logan’s cheeks went pink and he gave a hesitant yet sincere smile. “That’s...very kind of you, Roman. And coincidentally, I also greatly enjoy Sweeney Todd. The use of iambic pentameter and alliteration to give a succinct synopsis to the story in just the first sentence alone is pure brilliance.”

“Right!? I mean the man’s a mad genius. I’m dying to design sets for one of his musicals someday. Like last year? I came up with the concept of having the Sweeney Todd sets done in a way that highlights the class differences with the characters.” Roman went into a small three minute ramble regarding the specifics before he cut himself off abruptly. Logan was blinking rapidly, a look of mild shock crossing his feature. Roman nearly started sweating; Had he messed this up again?

“That… that’s ingenious”

Roman’s ears were burning. Ohmygosh!Ohmygosh!Ohmygosh!

“Hey, Logan!” They both startled and turned to an impatient cheerleader with a ginger undercut and they/them pronoun pin shaped like a coffin. “What’re you doing just standing out in the hall, ya dork? Oh, hey Roman.”

“Uh. Hey, October,” Roman said, waving awkwardly to them.

“I told ya, Red, you only get to call me that when we’re working on a show.”

“Wait, October? Red? You two know each other?” Logan asked, brow arching.

“Kind of. They sometimes help out with costumes for the drama club,” said Roman. And they have terrible timing. I mean seriously Tobes, we were having a moment.

“Come on Lo, class is about to start, and you promised to go over my homework with me real quick beforehand. See ya ‘round, Ro.” Toby grabbed Logan’s hand and pulled him into the classroom. “You can fill me in on what you were doing with Red later.”

Logan followed his—apparently—friend into their classroom, but he shot Roman an apologetic look over his shoulder. Roman bounced a bit on the balls of his feet before following halfway into the room. Logan was in his seat with Toby showing him an open notebook. A teacher in a tight grey hair bun was writing on the board. Students at their seats were chatting, and some looked up at the short dork in red who burst in. For once Roman ignored them, his mind set on one last attempt at wooing his green skirted genius while he still had the nerve.

“Hey, Logan,” he said. “I’ve also got some great layout designs for an Into the Woods set. If you’re interested, maybe we can meet up after school and I can show them to you? Maybe we talk a bit more over iced lattes or something?”

“Excuse me, Mr. Prince, seventh period starts in five minutes,” said the teacher. “Unless you’ve suddenly transferred to my class, I suggest you stop distracting my favorite student and get going.”

“I’ll be gone in just a second,” he said. “Well?”

Logan smoothed the silky fabric of his pink scarf and said, “That sounds optimal, Roman. I’ll meet with you. By the first floor water fountain perhaps?”

Roman grinned. “I shall be counting the minutes.”

“Mr. Prince,” said the teacher with a warning glare.

Roman blew a kiss at Logan and then ducked out of the doorway. Was he embarrassed of himself? Oh definitely. Did he regret it? Absolutely not. He felt ten inches tall.

Now to complete the quest of making it to class in time. He slid off a shoulder strap to unzip his classic Mickey backpack, getting out the notebook and the relevant homework. He found them amidst the mess of spiral notebooks, granola bar wrappers, two textbooks and rainbow sticky notes. But something was missing from his folder.

“Where are those– it should be here.” He could’ve sworn he had his stapled the blocking notes in his folder. No, wait, the last place he saw them was— “Ah shoot! I left them in the tech closet again.”

Under normal circumstances, Roman would’ve grabbed them after school, but the auditorium was locked on weekends. He’d have to wait till Monday to get them and that just wouldn't do! he wanted to show Logan his notes today! I’ll bet David Korins never has these kinds of problems. Okay, okay. Still got four minutes. He could rush to the auditorium, grab the notes, and then head straight to class. I should have enough time, right? Right. Besides it was only Spanish Class, he was already pretty fluent after all those summers visiting his grandparent in Nicaragua. He spent most of class time dreaming up blocking notes anyway.

Despite not being totally convinced by his own argument, Roman immediately turned on his heel and started running in the opposite direction. After a teacher told him no running in the halls, Roman power walked through the halls with a skip in his step and a song in his heart, feeling absolutely gay in both senses of the word. Logan had actually called his idea ingenious! And the way those sharp eyes softened just for him- he would squeal if not for the fact that it would draw too many eyes to him. The halls were still filled with a few stragglers rushing to the last class of the day, and he was already trying not to get caught being late for class.

Now he knew how Maria felt in West Side Story. Y’know, before Act 2. Oh sure, they’d gotten off to a shaky start, but as the Bard’s adage on the course of true love said; and Roman felt it in his gut that this was certainly the start of true love. Not just with brilliant Logan but also with soulful Patton as well. He didn’t know how an awkward geek like him ever got so lucky in the soulmate department…Then again, there was still the matter of Virgil. So maybe not so lucky.

Roman touched his arm, remembered flustered yet flattering purple words. I know they both said Virgil is secretly sweet and I can sympathize with the terrors of closet town, but COME ON! Virgil? Really? That gloomy gladiator? There had to be a mistake in that. After all, Patton liked to see the good in everyone. Logan was much more of a skeptic, but he does seem to have a blind spot with sarcasm. Maybe Virgil was messing with them somehow. Even if he’s not a jerk jock, the guy’s still kind of a creepazoid; with his dark eyes and cheeta-esq gait and those probably huge muscles hidden under that bulky jacket and big hands...

His gay disaster train of thought came to a merciful halt as he reached the auditorium. Roman pushed open the doors, took a pause to breathe in the quiet comfort of this chapel of the arts. Okay yeah, chapel was maybe a little kind for the school’s auditorium which doubled as the drama Club’s rehearsal space/prop closet backstage/Mx Joan’s unofficial office because the school didn’t fund the arts programs enough. Even so this space was Roman’s sanctuary. The place where he could help create magic from the shadows, bring stories of those gone and living to life. Here, Roman found something of a community with his fellow backstagers, glee club losers, and budding thespians (the nice ones). So he loved every squeaky stage plank, every duck taped seat cushion and every speck of dust that floated in the spot lit air like fairies.

Mx. Joan wasn’t around for once, thankfully. Probably in the teacher’s lounge or rendezvousing with the school nurse or something. They were pretty chill and Roman knew he was their favorite student, but the choir director/drama club moderator/music teacher (this school really needs to fix its funding habits) wouldn’t have been too keen on Roman being deliberately late for class.

Roman walked down the aisle and to the side room by the stage. It was originally a janitor’s closet, but their club moderator transformed it into a ‘Crew Only’ Storage Unit… Okay it was still a closet, but with less bleach and more coils. This was where they kept important equipment for semester shows, like the lighting and sound boards, along with other supplies. Roman made a quick mental note to get more gaffer tape later, seeing their supply was low.

He looked through the small pile of scribbled and highlighted sheets with the lighting cues for the spring show. I’ve really gotta get a binder for these…Ah-Ha! Here you are! Roman pulled out the stapled sheets titled ‘Into the Woods Dream Set’ and carefully shoved them into his bag. Perfect timing too. He might just be able to make it to class after—

RIIIIIIIIIIING

“GAH!”

What the heck? He could’ve sworn he was alone in there, but that yelp just now said otherwise. Up close, Roman saw that the curtains were rustling, accompanied by sounds of heavy breathing and moaning, yet not a footstep to be seen or heard.

Holy SHIT, this place IS haunted! I KNEW that backdrop fiasco last semester wasn’t caused by cheap slit plywood. My supplies are the best quality allowance money can buy. Great Macbeth’s bloody knife, I TOLD Kai we should've sprung for a ghost light! Remus always teased him for being superstitious but look who’s laughing now.

He dashed back into the crew closet and grabbed the heavy push broom leaning in the corner. Roman Prince was NOT about to be caught unawares and possessed by the ghost of a disgruntled student without a fight. He would defend his domain of imagination!

Roman slowly climbed the stage steps, wielding his broom like a bow staff, turned the curtain corner where the noises were coming from and was about to release a war cry on the—

“Virgil?”

Roman nearly dropped his weapon at the sight of Virgil Alighieri—star athlete, object of his fears and supposed soulmate—curled in on himself trembling and crying.

His jacket was pulled over his head like a hood, yet Roman could see the tear stained face peeking out from underneath. Virgil’s eyes were squeezed tight, making the dark circles he’d never noticed before more prominent. There was no denying the athlete had muscle but he was more lithe—thin enough for Roman to wonder if the guy ate enough. Virgil’s trembling could rival a chihuahua, shaky hands clutching his knees, and he was clearly in the midst of a bad panic attack.

Roman had built Virgil up in his mind as being like some odd combination of Hades and Ares. The strong silent wolf within his pack of jocks, a surging thunderstorm just waiting for the right nerd to come along and piss him off enough to strike down like the bolt of Zeus.

Someone to be afraid of.

But now? Seeing him in this state, all alone and whimpering like a wounded animal...it broke Roman’s heart.

He set the broom down gently and carefully crouched down in front of Virgil. “Virgil,” he said softly. “Virgil, can you hear me?”

Virgil let out a breathy sob but otherwise didn’t seem to register him. Just how long had he been sitting here like this?

Roman was at a loss for what to do. Sure he knew plenty of people with anxiety but never saw someone having an actual panic attack before. He did know that if he didn’t help the other calm down soon, Virgil was liable to pass out. He’d never wanted to hug someone so badly in his life. Roman tentatively reached out a hand but stopped. What if touching him makes it worse? What if I startle him so badly he actually has a heart attack!? Maybe I should get the nurse. But I can’t just leave him like this.

He caught sight of the colorful soulmarks written on Virgil’s arm. Saw his own harsh thoughts: ’Dios mio, he’s staring right at me—like he wants to punch my face!’ 

Roman took his shame and forged it into steel. I won’t abandon you...my soulmate.

Virgirl’s let out a hiccuped cry, and this gave Roman an idea. Something from back when he was a child. It was probably stupid and a long stretch, but it was all he could think of. He readjusted himself so that he was now sitting right next to Virgil, making sure not to startle him. Roman cleared his throat, then as softly as he could, he began to sing.

“Come stop your crying, it’ll be alright.

Just take my hand, hold it tight.”

Roman one and carefully gentled his hand over Virgil’s. After a moment, he felt a light squeeze, and that encouraged him to keep going.

“I will protect you from all around you.

I will be here, don’t you cry…”

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[operationcavill]

Professionals 4 - August Walker

August Walker is hired by Parker Industries to protect the companies most important assets; Mr. Stephen Parker himself and his workaholic, do-it-all executive assistant. 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 

“Wayne?” He knows that’s not all; he can see it on her face.

“He called her a few days ago to see where I was, but she didn’t know. Now, no one can get a hold of him.” 

August stands up and starts pacing, “You were right.” She scrunches her nose, “I’m fucking pissed.” 

She tries to stay positive, but the doubt is grave in her voice, “It’s ok.”

“No, Y/N, it isn’t.” He runs a hand through his hair, “Last night, someone tries to get onto the property and your ex-boyfriend, who happens to be a threat to you and the company your family owns, is missing!” He gets dressed in a hurry and leaves her bedroom without saying another word. She feels like a scolded child until he comes back, angrily stomping back in to kiss her forehead, “I’m sorry,” then quickly leaves again. 

It isn’t until around noon that Y/N sees August. She’s sitting in the study with her uncle, talking about Jack, “Did you tell Walker about Jack?” 

“I told him we were together,” she shakes her head.

“But did you tell him what he did?”

Y/N takes a deep breath, “No, I can’t imagine he’d take that news well.” 

“Gin, you need to tell him.”

“What’d he do?” Oh, no, this was not the setting she planned to tell him; she knows he’ll be angry. He sits across from them, elbows resting on his knees.

Parker nods at her, assuring her that he’s there for her, “Jack isn’t a good man.” August’s eyes narrow at her, urging her to continue, “I didn’t want to mention what I went through because honestly, I refused to believe it.”

He’s tilts his head to crack his neck, “What are you telling me?” 

Y/N fiddles with the hem on her shirt, and Parker speaks up, “He beat the shit out of her, Walker.” The harsh words cause Y/N to shift in her seat.

August stands in an instant, walking over to her and immediately going from investigator to soldier. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Y/N has tears in her eyes, and she reaches for his hand but pulls back as Parker continues, “She broke it off with him, and the prick didn’t take it well.” Y/N leaves and heads to the kitchen; she doesn’t want to hear it nor talk about it. “She agreed to meet him at her apartment to talk about things, but he had other plans. He just left there. She begged me not to tell the police or take her to the hospital. The only way I could get her to go to the doctor was by promising her I wouldn’t contact authorities.” 

August is fuming, his face turning red, and his hands are in tight fists, “You could have told me about this!” 

“Mr. Walker, it is not anyone’s place to talk about abuse if the victim isn’t ready to speak on it. You will not turn this around on Y/N or anyone else, you hear me? This is Jack Waynes doing.” 

August relaxes, realizing his temper is getting the best of him, “I needed to know this. I needed to know this to keep her safe.”

“You do, August. You’ve been incredible to us all, but you do need to understand that Y/N keeps a lot to herself, she’s always had trouble with it. She needs her family right now. I want you to meet with your team and increase measures. Wayne has money, more money than I do. And when men like him have money, they know no bounds.” 

“I should go check on her,” Parker perks his head up, “I need you to call Annie, tell her to pack a bag. I’ll send her a car; I think if Y/N needs someone right now, it’s her. Call Jacob and check on him and Joey.” 

It clicks with Y/N’s caring and nosy uncle that there be something else going on, “She’s more than the job to you, isn’t she?” August doesn’t respond; he straightens his posture, “If I were a younger man, I’d happily punch you in the jaw.” 

“I understand.”

“We’re going to talk, sit down.” August sits across from him, hands clasped together. Mr. Parker is not an argumentative or particularly angry man, but he would fight until nothing left in him when it comes to his niece and nephew. “You know Y/N is a strong woman, I’m sure that was part of the attraction. She is strong, but she is vulnerable, and I will not have any man wrong her or take advantage of her in any way, ever again.” August nods but doesn’t get a chance to speak, “Whatever it is that you think you feel for her or whatever you’re doing with her, end it.”

“I can’t.”

“Excuse me?” No one usually dares to tell Stephen Parker ‘No,’ and they certainly do not disregard what he says about his family.

August shakes his head, “I can’t do that.”

He huffs, “You can, and you will.”

“I love her.” His admission takes them both by surprise. He hadn’t intended to say it aloud; he hasn’t even said it to himself.

“What?” They both jump, and August stands, shocked to see Y/N standing there with a glass of water and a handful full of ginger candy.

“I—uh,” He has no idea how to react, and her expression is unreadable.

Before they can say anything, Parker speaks up, “I need a drink,” Y/N looks at him but still can’t muster up any words.

She stands there wholly frozen, “Did you just say you love me?”

“Yes,” August speaks shyly.

“No, you don’t.”

He’s taken aback, “Sorry?”

“Shut up,” Y/N snaps at him.

Parker addresses Walker, “Good Luck,” then leaves the study, allowing them to have a moment to themselves.

Auguste clears his throat, “Well, now you’re just being rude.”

“No, I mean, What?” She finally sets down her glass and candy on a table beside him.

“What do you mean ‘what’?” His arms slightly raise in frustration.

“We barely know each other.” While this is true to an extent, August is a studier. He learns until there is nothing left to learn.

“You’re forgetting that I know everything about you. That’s the job,” Y/N picks at the polish in her nails, “I don’t expect you to feel the same. I don’t,” he stops and tries to think of the right thing to say, “I’m not someone who, who just allows himself to do these things.”

“I’m not sure what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. You can tell me to fuck off if that’s what you want, but I’m still here to make everything as safe as I can, to make it safe for you. How I feel won’t get in the way.”

“I think, uh, I’m just going to go back to my room, ok?”

He nods, “ok.” 

Y/N sits at the window seat in her bedroom, trying to take in everything. She was overwhelmed and couldn’t ignore it, not this time. Jack was missing, and he knew how to get to her. He knew how to hurt her in more ways than just physical. She tries to focus on the rain tapping on the window, but nothing can drown out the sound of August’s voice. I love her. And in classic form, he knocks on her door. She opens it to find a somewhat disheveled looking August. His hair is in his eyes, his shirt is untucked, and he looks tired. 

He sighs and begins to ramble; “I went into the system at 6 when my mother died. I graduated high school early, and went into the marines. I can speak French, Spanish, and Japanese,” he gives a small shrug, “I hate sweet potatoes,” he walks into her room, settling on the foot of her bed, “I’m a music snob, and I don’t know why. I have a mustache because I’m too tired to shave it. I’ve ignored relationships because I don’t want distractions. My whole life has been about a job. I have been left and alone in every sense of the word, and it’s mostly my fault.” He finally looks up to see Y/N in tears again, “I’m sorry, bun. I’m sorry. You know that?” 

She welcomes his embrace when he goes to her. “I’m not crying because you love me,” He’s confused but can’t bring himself to let her go, “I’m crying because of everything else.” 

“I will fix this, I promise.” 

“Gin?” Their eyes go towards her door to find Jacob, who also looks like he’s seen better days. “Are you ok?”

She reluctantly pulls herself away to greet her brother. “I’ll be ok,” then it hits her, “wait, why are you here?”

“Steve called. He said it was best we come here until things settle down.” He nods toward August, her eyes landing back on the handsome yet pitiful looking man in her room. “Joey’s asking about you guys. I can tell him you’re asleep.”

She shakes her head, “No, no, I’d love to see him.” Y/N takes a deep breath and makes her way to the stairs as the two men follow her. 

Joey smiles and holds up a picture he drew. It’s no doubt a sweet portrait of her an august in stick figure form, “Daddy said you and Mr. August were sad, this is for you!” She wraps her nephew in the tightest hug and kisses his forehead, “Why you sad, Mr. August?” Joey looks at him with such concern. 

August Walker, a man who takes pride in not showing emotion, has tears in his eyes, “Sometimes things get a little sad is all.” Joey shuffles towards him and puts his arms up. He hesitantly picks the boy up and wonders what happens to us, when do we lose the sweetness that children have?

His small hand rests on August’s cheek,” Don’t be sad. I brought my trucks. You wanna play trucks?”

He pats his back, “I would love to.” Oh, how he would have loved to have been like Joey.

Y/N steps aside with her brother, trying not to melt at the sight of her sweet nephew, “Where’s the nanny?”

“She quit weeks ago. I told her I liked her but unfortunately, her girlfriend was not too happy about that.” 

“Oh, sorry, how’s Joey handling it? He loved her.” 

“Thanks to your video calls, you and Walker are all he seems to talk about these days.” 

“Really?” She asks in genuine curiosity. 

“Walker doesn’t come off as a kind person, but I guess you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.”

“That’s for sure,” Jacob gives her a questioning look,

“So, what’s going on there?”

Y/N tries to play dumb, “Huh?”

“That shit’s not gonna work with me. What’s up with you and the soldier?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He rolls his eyes, maybe a trait that’s genetic, “You’re doing the whole I-don’t-need-anyone thing.” Y/N scowls, “I’m not going to pretend to understand what you went through, but I know it was hard.”

“Fine, I’ll talk to him later.” 

He hits his shoulder with his own, “He must not be all that bad.”

He points toward August and Joey on the floor, where joey shows him all of his favorite trucks. “Daddy said you like my Y/N.”

“I do like your Y/N,” He trades him a yellow truck for a red one.

“You’re nicer than Jack.”

“Oh, I am?” August tries his hardest not to react.

“He never played trucks, and he made her cry.” His small finger points to Y/N. 

“Was Jack ever mean to you or your daddy?”

He shrugs his little shoulders, “No, but he pushed me down at Uncle Steve’s birthday party and told daddy I fell.”

August can barely muster up words, “What?”

“He said I was in the way.” Joey shrugs it off, not realizing that the incident wasn’t an accident.

“I’ll be right back.” August smiles at him before stomping toward the siblings. “Did you know that mother fucker knocked Joey down?”

In unison, they (almost) shout, “What?” 

“Joey just told me that Jack fucking Wayne pushed him down at a party Parker had.”

Jacob walks over to his son, “Joseph, did Mr. Wayne hurt you? Why didn’t you tell me he pushed you?” 

Joey’s bright eyes become glassy with tears, just as most children’s do when asked such tense questions, “I don’t know.”

“It’s ok; I just wish I knew.” Jacob hugs his son and pokes his nose.

Finally understanding that something is wrong, Joey wipes his eyes, “Is he scary?”

All of them have a brief moment of heartbreak for this child, he’s having to learn that there are scary people in the world. Y/N sits with Jacob and her sweet nephew, “Sometimes people can be scary, but you don’t need to be scared of him. You know why?”

Joey smiles, “Cause Mr. August is here.”  

She wasn’t going to answer with that, but he’s rights, “Yes, August is here.”

A familiar raspy voice comes from the hallway, “Where the hell are you guys?” 

Oh, Annie to the rescue, they could all used her right now, “And so is your Yaya, go get her!” Annie adored this house and the children within it. She quickly and gladly took the role of Joey’s Grandmother. She loved him as if he was her own.

Joey runs, tripping over his toys, “I’m ok!” and hops back up to meet Annie. “Hi, Yaya!” They all can’t help but grin at the precious resilience of a child.

“Hello, my little love. I see you’ve been having some fun in here.” She spots the small trucks and dozens of crayons strewn about, “Why don’t you draw me something, eh?”

He nods and runs back to his disaster area. “Now, you, come over here.” August looks toward Y/N and expects her to walk forward, “Huh-uh, handsome, I’m talking to you.” 

[Tagged: If you’d like to be tagged, just shoot me a message or ask!]

@igotkatiepowers  @xxxkatxo  @lunedelorient  @heartfelt-pen  @omgkatinka  @viking-raider  @summersong69  @hell1129-blog  @lilzebub  @mansaaay  @henryobsessed  @harrysthiccthighss  @cavillshmavill @wheretheriversrunintothesea​ 

[darling-i-read-it]

Teachers

Logan Howlett x reader

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: serious make out session

Author’s Note: I hope this is kind of what you had in mind!!

Requested by: anon, Can you pls do a Wolverine x fem reader where they don’t get along at first but then they become lovers?

Summary: the request!

Genre: fluff

(not my gif)

If you had one complaint about Charles new school was that he made Logan Howlett a teacher. Listen, he was okay to fight with even better to fight against but you couldn’t stand the man. You weren’t sure if it was because of his no good attitude, mysterious past or if it was just because he always pined for Jean but you had never been a fan of him.

You looked tired one particular afternoon. It was justified, you had spent the whole night grading papers and lesson planning. It was only your second year of the school being open and you tried your best to make the lessons entertaining. You liked to appeal to the different students unique ability to make them feel better about themselves but that meant extra hours. You were sitting on your desk criss cross applesauce, papers asque around you.

It was just after classes had ended and you were reading something you had to for the next class. Each teacher had their own classroom and Charles had put you right beside Logan. You were pretty sure he did it because he liked to tease you around but you hated him for it.

You could hear Logan walking around in the classroom behind you, pacing and doing something in there. Typically this wouldn’t have bothered you but you hadn’t had any coffee today.

You knocked on the black board twice which told him to stop. He usually did so. This time he just knocked twice back like you were doing something that he didn’t like. You scowled and got up, sliding off your desk and walking to the door.

He opened his at the same time you did. The hall was practically empty, save for a few stragglers.

“Stop pacing,” you told him sternly.

“Why are you even still here? School ended like a half hour ago,” he grumbled. You rolled your eyes and leaned against the door.

“Some of us still have to be here to grade and plan. I know you go by the flight of your pants but I like to have an idea of what tomorrow will look like,” you said. He raised an eyebrow and his mouth made a thin line.

“You know what Y/L/N, I’m pretty sure you have your own class to worry about than worrying about me and my class,” he told you. You scowled at him and were about to pull out your powers, poison manipulation when you saw a group of kids coming around the corner. You stopped and composed yourself.

“Just please stop pacing Logan. Please,” you seered. He held his hands up in defense and the two of you turned back to your rooms, leaving one another alone.

The next day you walked to your class swiftly and got there at the same time you did every other day. Logan opened his door when you did but neither of you spoke.

Once inside one of your most trusted and best students, Daisy, came crashing in. You were so startled and nearly went into defense mode.

“Daisy what?” you inquired. She looked out of breath.

“You! You and Mr. Howlett! How could you not tell me?” she practically screamed. You raised an eyebrow.

“Me and Mr. Howlett?” You waited for her to go further and she looked surprised that you needed her to.

“Yesterday some kids saw you and Mr. Howlett in the hall. Everyone’s talking about it! How could you not tell me!” You were still confused. Someone saw you and Logan yesterday? Arguing? And assumed you were together?

“Mr. Howlett and I aren’t to-“ You we’re stopped by Logan walking into your room with a raised eyebrow.

“We’re dating? Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked and you shrugged.

“It’s news to me too Logan.” Daisy looked unimpressed.

“Come on guys. You’re really trying to pretend I couldn’t cut the sexual tension in here with a knife?” Daisy asked. Your eyes widened and you tried to find something to say but nothing came to mind.

Apparently Logan couldn’t come up with anything either because you were both stuttering instead of speaking.

“We don’t-“

“We aren’t-“

You both spoke together and then paused. Daisy looked between the two of you and slowly backed out of the classroom. Logan was wearing a flannel he had folded up to his elbows and jeans that made him look particularly good. You had never noticed before now attractive he was.

The power of suggestion.

“I’ve never..I mean you don’t..” you started but couldn’t find the words to finish. He shrugged and sat on the desk closest to you.

“I can’t honestly say I’ve never thought about it,” he grumbled. Your face flushed and you had to look away from him, hoping he couldn’t see you.

“I mean anyone would have,” you mumbled. He stood up and brought your face to look at him. He had never been this close to you before. In all the time you had been arguing you had never taken a moment to just look at him.

“Sometimes I wish I had Charles power,” he muttered. “What are you thinking?”

Truth be told you weren’t thinking. Your whole body had gone into overdrive and you couldn’t remember what it was like to not be in this position.

“Lips,” you muttered. He raised an eyebrow and you blushed harder. He brought a hand to your cheek and you let him hold your head. He knew he had you in his grasp now.

“Imma kiss you,” he grumbled and you nodded, quickly and let his lips find yours. You moved together feverishly. Like all that tension had been building to this moment.

You could have gone on for hours, him just kissing you against your desk but you heard the school bell ring. You pulled away and placed your cheek on his shoulder and looked at the door. Your kids were watching from the window of the door, all of them trying to scramble away when you saw them. You chuckled and Logan let you go.

“Can’t wait to hear all about this during class,” you muttered. He peeled away from you and you stayed sitting on your desk, looking disheveled.

“I just can’t wait for later tonight,” he called as he opened the door. The kids oooed as he left and then filed in. You looked like a blushing school girl but tried to stay as composed as you could.

“Looks like Ms.Y/L/N is getting some tonight!”

[starrybethany]

Matthew Tkachuk . 1 . Outrunning Karma

Word count: 3K

Song: Outrunning Karma by Alec Benjamin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4vD2S5vQMM

Today marks one month since I began working at this school. One month of teaching at a public school for the first time- one month of dealing with some of the best and worst kids I have ever met or taught.

“... but let me tell you guys, no matter what your previous English teachers might have told you, colors don’t always have to have symbolism. It could just be the author wanting you to visualize the object or situation more,” I explain, leaning back on my desk.

Despite this being a required sophomore English class, all of the kids look engaged and interested in the material. I’m not one to brag, but some of my previous students have told me that I’m the best teacher they’ve ever had because I talk and create activities that peak the students interest so that they want to learn the lesson.

I never tell them it’s because I spend hours scrolling through Pinterest, considering if each student would like each activity.

The bell rings signaling the end of the day and I glance over at the clock in surprise. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in whatever I’m teaching I don’t even notice the time passing me by. “Okay, well have a good night, everyone! There’s no homework tonight.”

I watch them leave the classroom, getting up to sit behind my desk and grade some homework and exercises I made the students do. I’m reading one of the essays about the book they read over the summer when the sound of heels clicking on the floor make me look up.

Anna Turner and I met in college. We had the same major, secondary education, but different minors because she teaches math and I teach English. When she found out that I was quitting my job at the all-girls Catholic school I used to teach at- for reasons I’d rather forget about- she begged me to apply at the public high school that she teaches at. As you can see, I got the job and decided to take it.

“How’s it going?” She asks, leaning over my desk.

“Good. I don’t have any students that have a grade lower than a C.” I do a fist pump in the air and she laughs at my antics.

“That’s good. So, Mr. Wright wants you in his office right now,” she tells me.

My eyes widen in surprise. At my last school, whenever you got called to the office you knew something bad was going to happen. I was only there once and for the reason that I was called in there for, I quit.

“Did I do something wrong?” I question.

“No, no you didn’t,” she reassures me. “Just go.”

So I follow her orders, making my way through the hallways with “hellos” to my students on my way to the small office at the back of the school. I knock on the door before opening it, immediately thrown off by the dim lighting in the usually well-lit office.

I’m startled by the sight of someone who is not Principal Wright behind his desk. Instead, it’s an attractive man who appears to be my age or maybe even younger. It’s obvious that his borderline-blonde-borderline-brown hair is naturally curly but he has it cut into a way that he can control it.

His eyes are a gentle mix of blue and green- it’s hard to tell what it actually is. His mouth parts, revealing a gap in between his top two front teeth which makes me swoon at the boyish vibe that he gives off.

When a smirk covers his face I snap out of my daydream about our seven kids, realizing that I’m probably drooling all over the floor at how hot this guy is.

“Oh, sorry, um, I’m supposed to be meeting with Principal Wright,” I stutter through, cursing myself for the lack of confidence.

“No, you’re not.”

My eyebrows furrow in confusion and nervousness rushes through me, both because of the confusion this situation is bringing and the fact that such a good-looking guy is staring at me right now. “I’m sorry?”

“Come sit down, Y/N.”

I’m immediately thrown off by the fact that this guy knows my name. How does he know me yet I don’t know him?

“Um, I’d rather not,” I deny as politely as I can, taking a step back. My back touches something and I freeze, my blood running cold. I turn around slowly to find a tall, looming man behind me. He smiles at me but it’s obvious by the gesture that I need to do whatever this stranger is telling me.

So I turn around, ignoring the fact that the smirk on this stranger’s face has grown, and reluctantly sit in one of the arm chairs in front of Mr. Wright’s desk. Or this guy’s desk, who knows anymore?

“How was class today?” He inquires.

I give him an odd expression, unsure of his intentions. I don’t know him and the fact that I’m pressured to talk to him in such a weird setting makes me unsettled. It’s also weird that he would pressure me into talking to him just to ask me about the students. That can’t be the only thing that he wants to know from this conversation, but I don’t know what else he wants to know.

“Good,” I answer simply, not positive of what to say or how much to give away.

“So, let me introduce myself. My name is Matthew, this school and I have a deal and since you’re going to stick around for a while, it’s time to inform you of, uh, what’s going on,” he begins. I grow more and more anxious with every word. “We provide protection to this school, since you know it’s not in the safest area of the city, and in return the school allows us to use the facilities and resources for our, um, how do I say this, activities.”

I raise my eyebrows in question to the ‘activities’ part but quickly shove them back down. By the way that he phrases it, the situation isn’t anything good, none the less legal, so it’s best to know as little as possible.

But really, the school allows this to occur on campus? With kids around? What if the kids see someone getting murdered or using cocaine, will the school pay for their therapy bills or can it afford court bills if they get taken to court?

“Now that you’re a part of the crew-”But I’m not-”You might have to do some things in order to keep your protection.”

From the way he says it, I know it’s not just protection from muggers or rapists on the outside. Now, it includes him and whatever gang or mafia or mob he’s a part of.

“Like what?” I find myself asking.

He grins at me, showing me that gap again. This time, it doesn’t make me swoon. Instead it makes my heart beat ten times faster. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, sweetheart.”

He stares at me and I stare back at him. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what he wants me to say. I’m afraid to say anything in fear of saying the wrong thing- one wrong thing and I could get my head blown off. And I know if I open my mouth I just might start crying.

“Any questions?”

I shake my head silently.

“Okay. We’ll call you when you’re needed then. Or maybe stop by your apartment, depending on the time,” he responds, playing with one of Principal Wright’s pens. “Milan, show her out.”

The big man from earlier guides me back into the hallway all the while I can feel Matthew’s eyes on me. I take deep breaths to steady my breathing and it’s like I’m just going through the motions, packing up my stuff and driving back to my apartment.

My apartment. They know where I live. And I bet if I packed up and moved, they would figure out my address then, too. The mafia never lets you go once it gets its hold on you.

Troy: FaceTime?

I’ve never rejected a FaceTime call from my boyfriend. These days, those calls are too far and few between and I miss him more than I can put into words. It’s only been a year since he was transferred to Toronto but comparing that one year that he’s been away to the two and a half years that he’s been by my side, I can easily pick which one I prefer more.

Y/N: Not feeling well tonight, sorry.

I make my dinner, ignoring my phone vibrating beside me with an incoming text. I check it as I begin to eat.

Troy: What’s wrong?

I don’t respond to his text. It’s not like I can tell him the truth, that the mafia owns my work and threatened me. He would tell me to go to the police but it’s not that easy, Matthew probably has tons of people in his pocket, including the ones whose job it is to enforce the law.

I clean up my dinner, sitting down at the kitchen counter to grade an exercise I made the students write about an interesting thing they found out about their home city of Calgary.

The city of Calgary is run by a mafia called the ‘Calgary Flames.’ They’ve been around since 1972 and have had several leaders over the years, previously Mark Giordano and currently Matthew Tkachuk. You can recognize a mafia member by a tattoo all of the members have to get, which is a C with flames shooting out from it on the inside of their left ankle. They are famous for crimes like drug trafficking, money laundering, corruption of public officials, murder, and kidnapping just to name a few.

It feels like all of the air has been sucked out of me. This can’t be about the same person I met earlier, right? Sure, they share the same name and that Matthew does seem to be a part of something sketchy, but that’s just a coincidence. The Matthew that I’ve met and that I’ll have to be interacting with for who knows how long can’t be a part of something so- so vile.

I can’t imagine anyone doing any of those things listed. Those are all horrendous crimes and to do those around kids would make those people awful human beings. Well, there’s only one way I can tell if this is the same Matthew or not.

I need to see his ankle.

~

It’s a while before I see him again. The next time I see him I’m scanning through the pile of copies in my hands, frustrated by the fact that the copy machine didn’t staple the papers automatically once again.

“Hey Ms. Y/LN, was there any homework for the weekend?” The familiar voice of one of my students asks.

I lift my head to make eye contact, my blood running cold and I freeze in my place as my eyes meet Matthew’s. He’s standing next to Tanner, a student in my eighth hour, who asked the question, and it’s clear that he interrupted a conversation he was having with the older man to ask the question.

I know Matthew does business here but I didn’t expect him to actually communicate with the students. That seems like a boundary that he would know better than to cross, but I guess if he’s in the mafia he doesn’t know any boundaries.

“Um, I just wanted you guys to read chapters eight and nine of your novels for Monday,” I answer, crossing my arms protectively over my chest.

I watch the blonde’s eyes flicker down to watch the movement.

“Okay. See you Monday.” The sophomore shuts the locker, giving a lazy wave to the mafia leader before heading down the hall.

It’s like I’m stuck in place. I know I should move, I know I should avoid as much contact with Matthew as possible, but for some reason my feet won’t listen to my brain’s screaming.

He nods at me in greeting. “How are you doing today, Y/N?”

“Good,” I shift on my feet. I know I have to confirm whether he’s actually a mafia leader or not. If he’s not, he’s just some shady guy doing shady business at my place of work. If he is- well, I don’t even want to think about that.

The plan formulates in my head and I go to move forward, purposefully tripping over my feet and landing on the floor with a ‘thud’, all of the papers in my arms scattering throughout the hallway.

Just as I expected, as any person with an inch of compassion in their heart would do, he bends down on the ground to help me pick up the papers. I watch carefully as I pick up the sheets, eyes connected to his left ankle.

And there it is.

The student described it well in the writing, but it’s much more intricate and detailed up close. It’s a nice design, I’ll give him that, but knowing the terrifying meaning behind the symbol sends shivers up my spine.

All of my fears and worries are confirmed. The city’s mafia leader is standing in front of me, reaching out and expecting me to take his hand so he can lift me off of the ground. He wants me to touch his hands- hands he’s probably used to kill people with before.

He’s talking to me but it feels like I’m underwater. I can’t hear what he’s saying, all I can listen to is the thud of my heart and the static that my brain is creating with trying to think of a logical thought or reaction to this situation.

“Y/N?”

My body turns on it’s fight-or-flight instinct, and as I usually do, I decide to listen to the flight part. I take the papers out of his hand, being careful to not touch him, and mumble a, “Gotta go.”

I take off down the hall before he can react, reaching my classroom and practically slamming the door shut behind me.

Breathe, think.

“What happened to you?” Someone inquires.

My eyes snap up from the tile floor to see Anna sitting at a student desk. I know it’s not fair, but I can’t help but blame her. She’s probably known about the mafia’s involvement here all along and yet, she told me to get a job here. And she’s the one who sent me down to the office to meet Matthew.

I’ve been avoiding her for the past week, always making sure that I’m talking to a student or too busy to chat with her whenever I see her. I feel disrespected and hurt that she would put me in a situation like this.

I thought we were better friends than that.

I narrow my eyes at her, knowing that if I say anything it won’t be that nice.

She sighs. It takes everything in me to not sock her in the mouth because of that sigh.

“Listen, Y/N, I know you’ve met Matt now and-””How could you ever do this to me?” I snap, interrupting her.

“It’s deeper than you think-””Of course it is, he’s in the fucking mafia, Anna!” I can’t help but yell. “I want you out. I want you out of my classroom and out of my life.”

I can see the hurt burn in her eyes at my words but I no longer care. If she doesn’t care about me enough that she’s willing to risk my safety and well-being, I don’t want to continue a relationship with her.

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do.” I yank the door open for effect. “Get out. Now.”

She drags her feet as she leaves, like she thinks that I’ll end up changing my mind and suddenly decide that what she did was okay. I won’t.

~

“Hey,” Troy greets me as I answer his FaceTime call.

“Hi. I miss you,” I grin sadly, wanting nothing more than to be in my loving boyfriend’s arms right now. Having a long distance relationship is one of the hardest things that I’ve ever done.

“I miss you too. I wish we could’ve FaceTimed the other day,” he states, bringing up the fact that I left him on read when all he wanted to do was talk to me.

I sigh. “I wasn’t in the mood, Troy. And I’m not in the mood to talk about it today, either.”

He nods. “I can respect that. So… day…?”

My eyebrows furrow in confusion. Even though we are separated by three thousand miles and are in two completely different provinces, our calls usually have great connection with problems only if it’s raining outside. And judging from the clear skies in both of our backgrounds, that’s not a problem.

“What? Sorry the connection cut out,” I respond, deciding that it must be the wifi or something.

“I said… your…”

“Ask it again,” I request.

“How… today?”

I bite my lip out of frustration. After the rough day that I’ve had today and the unknown that’s coming tomorrow, poor connection when I’m just trying to rant and catch up with my boyfriend is the last thing that I want.

“The connection is just not working, Troy, I can’t hear you,” I admit.

“... not… fault!” His voice raises and the screen freezes, one frame replacing the other every couple of seconds.

“I don’t know why you’re yelling now.”

“Because…” The sound completely cuts out. Exhaustion hits me, from finding out that Matthew is in the mafia, to yelling at Anna, to getting into this argument with Troy. All I want to do is sleep and become refreshed for tomorrow.

“Troy, I’m getting tired, I’m going to head off to bed. Hopefully this connection will be better tomorrow.” I hang up the phone before he can say anything, knowing that I won’t be able to hear it anyways.

I know one thing. And that’s that I’m not ready for what’s coming tomorrow.

[yukippe]

one word: i want

for @pjofemslashweek day 4: rom com (teen idol - books count, right?) | read on ao3 | word count: 7.2k

ASK ATHENA

dear athena, 

i really like this guy but he’s way out of my league and i don’t think he even knows my name. i don’t even care if we go out or anything, i just want to get to know him :( what should i do? thanks!

lonely in love

dear lonely, 

if you’re worried he doesn’t know who you are, try doing something that’ll catch his attention. or, if you really wanna solve your problem go up to him and say hi. people are more willing to get to know you than you might think. just be careful not to say anything dumb. 

athena 

piper didn’t know why she said yes to this, but now she was kind of stuck with it. “this” being showing pop star actress thalia grace around school for two weeks. 

piper said yes to most things people asked her to do. she said yes to being ask athena for the school paper, she said yes to joining the mathletes with annabeth and now she’s said yes to babysitting an actress. thalia grace has been a child star since she was little, following in her mom’s footsteps. but that means she’d never been to real school. piper had been called into a meeting last week about it, thalia grace (or thalia grace’s agent/mom beryl grace) had decided to attend high school to help prepare for her new role on some teen drama. 

the reason she said yes is likely why they asked her. piper was good at keeping secrets (famous dad nobody knows about, much?) and she was even better at being forced to keep the peace. people loved to ask piper things and they hated to hear her advice. piper had gotten used to telling people what they wanted to hear. being thalia grace’s tour guide was just the newest on the list.

considering most teen drama writers had never been to high school, piper didn’t think it was very necessary. but to be fair, piper wasn’t an actress. when she’d mentioned it to her dad, he’d said it sounded pretty cool. piper was pretty sure her dad was considered an authority on “cool” to some girls her age. piper was also pretty sure none of those girls have seen her dad wipe out on a surfboard. (or maybe they had? some fans were creepy).

which meant monday morning piper was waiting in the office for thalia grace to show up, piper was early because lupa had told her too and piper was not about to mess with the principal. there was a rumour going around that gwen graduated early last year because she was scared principal lupa was going to eat her. piper checked her phone. 8:10. thalia was five minutes late, piper would’ve thought thalia would be on time because her dad was always obsessing over being early and piper had always assumed it was an actor thing. though, to be fair to thalia, thalia’s whole image was very black ripped jeans and self pierced ears. piper’s best friend annabeth was a little obsessed with her, but it wasn’t really piper’s thing. 

“hey,” piper looked up. there was thalia grace. or, as she would be going as for the next two weeks, tessa green. someone had striped the blue streaks from her hair, the pixie cut was held back by a pink headband and instead of her signature leather jacket annabeth couldn’t shut up about, thalia was wearing a white sundress. piper blinked. she’d known that thalia was going to be undercover as a regular student so she wouldn’t be mobbed by fans or whatever....but piper hadn’t expected this. 

“hi,” piper said. “nice outfit.”

thalia rolled her eyes, “my mom’s always wanted a chance to change my look, and she went a little overboard.” 

“cool, well we should be getting to class. we have latin with mr. brunner,” piper told her. piper picked up her bag and pocketed her phone and started walking to class. she looked back to check that thalia was following her. thalia was following, but she was starting to droop. piper had a redbull in her bag for emergencies she’d offer her if thalia started to snore. 

most of the class was already there when piper arrived with thalia. she showed thalia the empty seat behind her and turned back to the front. mr. brunner was already in class, but he wasn’t really….there there. last week octavian augur had decided to steal mr. brunner’s horse plushie that he likes to decorate in different historical armour for the senior prank. mr brunner’s been a little...weepy ever since. piper had told octavian and his cronies that it was dumb, but they’d told her it was chill and piper had let it go but...mr. brunner really wasn’t taking it well. 

thalia nudged her with a pencil. “what?” piper asked, not bothering to turn around. 

“one, are we actually supposed to start learning at eight thirty? that’s disgusting. and two, why is that guy so sad?”

piper sighed, “yes we start school at eight thirty, but we finish at three so it’s fine.” 

“three?”

“yeah, and mr. brunner...well the guys in the back row stole his doll last week and he doesn’t know where it is.” piper bit at her lip as she watched mr. brunner stare at his papers. she was a little worried he was going to use them as tissues, and they looked like the last essays they’d handed in. she’d spent six hours on that.

“uh,” thalia said. “that’s fucked up.”

“it’s high school,” piper told her, starting to feel a little guilty. mr brunner bailed her out of any more of thalia’s comments as he finally called class to order, still sniffling. 

thalia made it through first and second period, but when piper was leading her to third period she started wavering a bit so piper slide her her unlabelled thermos of energy drink. thalia drank it way too quickly, but piper didn’t judge. 

as they walked through the hallways piper’s classmates whispered to each other. at one point, piper was pretty sure she saw one girl squeal something about how much thalia looked like thalia grace. yikes. piper pulled thalia quickly past that.

at lunch, thalia found the coffee machine and met piper at piper’s lunch table with a tray of coffees. piper stole on when thalia was turned around as payment for the day and turned back to her friends. she sat with annabeth and her friends from the paper. drew and grover were both columnists, jason was an editor, percy and rachel did the photography and the comics and reyna was the editor in chief. thalia seemed a little overwhelmed by all the kids, but piper let her be. if she could sing in front of giant crowds she could handle the caf. 

annabeth was eyeing thalia, “who are you?” piper sighed. annabeth was kinda the worst at first impressions. besides, annabeth also had a massive crush on thalia grace and piper wouldn’t be surprised if annabeth saw past thalia’s pink-do. 

thalia smirked from behind her second cup of coffee, “tessa green. transfer student.”

annabeth eyed her a little longer, but thalia had moved on. annabeth looked slightly miffed at that, but percy distracted her. percy’s crush on annabeth was even bigger than annabeth’s crush on thalia. 

thalia elbowed piper. “hey,” thalia whispered to her. “who’s the kid in the corner with the matches?”

piper looked over to where thalia was pointing. oh. leo valdez. leo was...kind of a loser. he was also the exact kind of loser that piper wanted to be friends with, but he was in robotics and not mathletes and piper doubted he’d ever join the paper considering mr d had threatened him last year. he was typically making something that would set the school on fire. going straight to matches was new though. piper relayed this to thalia.

“okay, but why isn’t he sitting with anyone?” thalia asked. 

“uh,” piper said. “because he has no friends?”

thalia blinked at her, “why aren’t you his friend then?”

“because this is high school and everyone thinks he’s a loser?” piper said. 

“not everyone thinks he’s a loser,” jason piped up. thalia turned to look at jason, and her face started to look a little sick. piper could relate, jason sometimes looked a little too perfect with his whole american boy shtick. but piper could also remember the time he almost ate a battery when they were freshmen, so it wasn’t that bad. 

drew detached herself from reyna’s mouth (piper was starting to get especially tired of this, they’d been dating for a year and piper saw way more tongue than she ever wanted too from her half sister) to stare at jason, “yes, jason. everyone thinks he’s a loser.” 

“i don’t think he’s a loser!” jason repeated. jason always stuck up for the little guy, piper liked the sentiment but piper thought it was a little unrealistic to live like that all of the time. 

thalia seemed to like the vibe though, “yeah. he can’t be the worst.”

drew turned to thalia with a raised eyebrow as she stuck the straw of her ice cap in her mouth. then drew stopped short. “oh,” drew said. “who are you?”

“tessa green,” thalia said, eyeing drew right back. piper wondered if thalia had somehow managed to miss that drew and reyna had just been making out. the two of them were making really weird eye contact so piper turned to face reyna. reyna was reading something on her phone. reyna was almost always reading something on her phone, and piper had made it her mission since reyna transferred to their school at the end of last year to figure out what it was. 

annabeth thought piper liked reyna. piper had told annabeth multiple times to shove it. piper just. well, reyna already had a girlfriend so it didn’t matter. piper had known reyna since the fifth grade when they were on the track team together. they’d both done long jump. reyna had been much better and won metals and piper had shared the fancy snacks her dad’s shopper bought when they went to meets. then, at the end of fifth grade reyna had moved away to live with her sister. but she’d been at the paper’s retreat over the summer and had snatched the editor in chief position with her natural leadership and her essays on drive and growing up closeted. the position should’ve been drew’s since drew was the only senior on staff and reyna was a junior like piper, but drew had been at a much fancier journalism camp while reyna was impressing mr d. 

then drew had come back for school and she and reyna had gotten together while piper had been stuck on the memory of reyna laughing as she helped piper get out the smores stuck in her hair at the retreat. 

piper was still into reyna, but she wasn’t going to steal her half sister’s girlfriend. so instead, nd she very platonically hung out with reyna and tried to look over her shoulder when reyna was on her phone. she really wanted to know what reyna was reading. her current guess was the art of war, but she wasn’t sure. 

there was only one almost case of a small fire during lunch, and leo got his matches confiscated by a lunch lady right after. piper watched him as he left. octavian augur might’ve been the best the seniors had to offer this year (mostly because percy and annabeth were to busy mooning at each other while the other wasn’t looking to bother) but piper knew leo was going to come up with something actually funny next year. 

the rest of the day passed in a blur. thalia pestered her when she didn’t understand something - which was a lot - and thalia creepily watched jason during algebra. 

thalia complained a bit about going to the paper meeting after school, but then she and drew got into a weirdly charged argument about a celebrities right for privacy. thalia argued paparazzis were like mosquitos and drew argued that celebrities chose to live in the public eye. piper wanted to back thalia up, but she’d managed to keep the fact that her dad was a movie star almost completely on the down low and she was a big fan of not hearing people ask her about how hot he was. drew knew and was mostly just playing up devils advocate to flirt, but that was about it. 

reyna had asked piper after the meeting if she wanted a ride from her, but she told her that percy and annabeth had her covered. reyna used to drive piper and drew home all the time, but drew had been getting really bitchy recently and the drives home were growing more and more awkward. piper thought it was because she was graduating and going off to university in another state and would have to leave reyna behind, but she wasn’t going to get involved in her half sister’s love life. 

percy shot finger guns at her as he raced out of the meeting to pull his car around. annabeth and him weren’t dating yet because neither of them had realized the other liked them back, but he still gave annabeth a ride home everyday and didn’t mind that piper had started to tag along. percy was nice like that. piper really hoped annabeth didn’t find out thalia was thalia and set her thing with percy back a few months. 

thalia turned to piper as they exited the school, “thanks for today. i’ll see you tomorrow.” piper smiled awkwardly back and watched thalia go. thalia walked over to the parking lot and got on a motorcycle. piper blinked. well, it looked like thalia wasn’t going completely prep for her stint in high school.

ASK ATHENA

dear athena,

theres this guy and he’s super smart - way smarter than me. i want to talk to him but i’m worried he’s going to think i’m dumb. we share one of our classes and he’s the funniest guy i’ve ever met. funny AND smart. i’m average and boring :/ what can i do to get him to like me?

thanks,

average and boring

dear average,

average is better than below average! just kidding. listen to the kind of jokes he makes and see if you can make one back - google has like a gazillion pages on pages of jokes you can use. you can’t make him like you, but jokes and other common interests are a good way to start. if he’s really worth it, he’ll like that you’re making the effort.

athena

the next day thalia was full of questions. she’d also ditched the headband and the dress. she hadn’t gone full punk, but she was in jeans and flannel and had equipped herself with a very tall thermos. piper had caught a sniff and she was pretty sure it was just shots of espresso. 

“so,” thalia said as they watched mr. brunner look over his collection of swords and miniature swords (those ones were for the horse). “do you like that leo kid?”

piper started to choke. when she recovered she shook her head. “no,” she said. “uh. i’m gay and i’m pretty sure he is too.”

“oh” thalia said. “Nice, same. Okay next question, when are you doing something about the horse?”

“i’m not.”

“you will,” thalia smiled at her. it wasn’t even a mean smile. it was just a very annoyingly assured smile. annabeth wore it all the time, so piper was well acquainted with it. “okay final question: what is it that you do on the paper?”

piper turned back around to face mr. brunner, thalia had dropped tissues off on his desk when she’d come in and he was putting them to good use. “i do ad placements,” piper lied. nobody was allowed to know who ask athena was because then nobody would feel comfortable asking anything. and - well piper liked being listened to, even if nobody knew it was her they were talking to. the only people who knew were principal lupa, coach hedge and reyna. 

the rest of the week went mostly the same. thalia bothered her about the horse and why she wasn’t friends with leo and seemed oddly fixated on jason. thalia also wrote an article with drew about privacy that piper’s dad liked a lot. piper guess she should have known thalia was a good writer, she didn’t watch any of thalia’s shows or movies but she did have some of her songs downloaded and thalia was a really good songwriter. it was...actually pretty nice. 

thalia also made fun of octavian whenever she passed him, which was pretty great. piper was starting to look forward to the day octavian tried to start a fight and thalia punched him in the face. piper had told her guidance counsellor coach hedge that, and he’d agreed. coach hedge was pretty sure that thalia could take him, and will piper wasn’t sure how much that really meant she was starting to notice something. 

everyone, besides octavian probably, really liked thalia. mr. brunner had let her hold one of the unsharpened swords (piper had no idea how the sharpened ones were allowed in the classroom), principal lupa had smiled without her scary teeth near thalia, annabeth was starting to get a crush piper really wanted to end, and drew was halfway flirting with her most of the time - which piper was really grossed out by. who flirted with someone else when they were dating reyna.

reyna was reyna. how was drew not totally in love with her? piper was in love with her and she wasn’t even with her. reyna sang along to the thalia grace songs as she drove in a scratchy alto and made the worst brownies but could be coached into make half decent chocolate chip cookies and was the best writer piper had ever met and piper didn’t think she’d ever forget the way reyna had looked at her with complete and utter trust when she’d told her about moving out of her dads and into her sisters and how she much she loved her sister and loved living with her, even though her sister always beat her when they raced. 

reyna was also like, the only person who didn’t love thalia. they still got along, but piper though it might be the whole your flirting with my girlfriend and she’s flirting back thing that was holding back their friendship.

everyone liked thalia and the paper was going well and mr. brunner wasn’t crying so much - even though octavian augur had left a ransom note threatening to make his doll bite it if mr brunner didn’t pass all of the seniors - and piper had even done half decent at the last mathletes meeting. 

then on saturday the whole “tessa green is the coolest thing ever” train hit a snag. 

ASK ATHENA

dear athena, 

i got up the nerve to talk to mr. out of my league. i asked him to work on a group project with me and he said yes! but he’s so quiet i’m really struggling to get him to talk to me. the whole point was to get to know each other and he’s still the cutest guy ever but i don’t know how to get him to open up :(

thanks,

lonely in love

dear lonely,

congrats on the group project! you’ve taken the first step so the ball should really be in his court, but if you want to try and encourage him to open up try cracking a joke! if you can get him to laugh you can probably get him to talk to you

good luck,

athena

the mathletes were doing a car wash on saturday. piper didn’t know why, but annabeth had said something about raising money for the bus to regionals and percy coming up with it and then piper had clued in. well, if her best friend really wanted to see her crush without his shirt, piper could kind of get it. she’d been known to go quiet when she saw reyna flex her biceps. 

most of the paper had been talked into helping out - which thank god. all of the mathletes gave piper dirty looks when she got a question wrong during practice. someone had decided to ask coach hedge to supervise mathlete meetings (piper thought he had gotten suckered in by the athlete part and then felt to guilty to quit), while coach hedge normally ditched them for the track team he’d been able to show up at the car wash and piper wasn’t sure what to expect. a bunch of mean nerds plus coach hedge plus thalia grace plus the paper. 

annabeth had texted piper to show up in a swimsuit and shorts and piper had obeyed, while rolling her eyes at her phone. she was also stuck being the one to bring the speaker, because her dad had bought a top of the line waterproof bluetooth smartspeaker. sometimes, piper wondered what her friends thought her dad did to have all this weird stuff. 

considering that piper was told to wear a swimsuit, she should've known that that meant reyna was also going to be wearing a swimsuit. piper had thought she’d had it bad when she’d seen reyna’s biceps, but she’d been frozen when she saw reyna’s abs as soon as she arrived. annabeth had ripped the speaker from her hands and almost spilt a bucket of soapy water on her before piper snapped out of it. 

there were way more people at the car wash than piper had expected. it was for the mathletes with the assistance of the paper. it looked a bit like coach hedge had made his actual athletes show up and hold signs and pay for car washes, but there were a bunch of regular students piper never would have expected. 

leo had shown up, for example. leo drove a pickup, which piper had found surprising because she’d heard a rumour that leo had gotten his license taken away for illegally tricking out his truck. leo told her that the cops didn’t know, which piper probably should’ve been more concerned about. 

instead, she asked leo to show her what he’d done to his car. reyna and piper washed leo’s car as he showed them how he had a secondary horn for fun that spat out randomized animal sounds. reyna didn’t seem to find it funny, so piper was a little confused as to why she was washing leo’s car when drew seemed to be over at a much nicer car with thalia. 

“so,” leo asked her after he finished showing her the lights he had in the wheels. “are you and thalia a thing?”

piper laughed, “what? me and thalia?”

“yeah, are you?” piper spun around to see reyna awkwardly holding up a sponge. reyna looked a little sad for some reason, maybe worried that thalia was dating piper and flirting with drew or something. 

“uh no, thalia’s not really my type,” piper explained, still confused as to where these rumours where coming from.

“then who is your type?” reyna asked her, biting her lip. piper’s eyes caught on reyna’s mouth, but leo poked her and she blinked. 

“uh,” piper said. “i like girls that um. girls that are strong, smart. good writers. bad bakers.”

leo started snickering, and piper kinda wanted to hit him. he’d caught on, but luckily reyna seemed not to realize piper was describing her.

piper looked back to where thalia and drew were washing the car, she was starting to think thalia was the reason there were so many people judging by how there were a crowd of ppl near her asking her to do something. “hey,” leo asked reyna. “how are things with you and drew?” piper winced. 

“oh,” reyna said. “we broke up two days ago.”

piper spun around, “wait what?”

reyna looked over at drew and thalia, a strange look on her face. “yeah. drew and i. we ran our time out, i think. we got into a fight on the weekend and it didn’t end well.” reyna shook her head, and brushed her hair out of her face as she turned back to leo’s truck. 

piper reached out and touched reyna’s arm. “hey,” she said softly. “i’m sure whatever drew said, she didn’t mean it.” reyna smiled, but her face was hard to read and piper let her hand fall. 

leo leaned over and whispered to piper as she stepped back, “what are you doing - ask her out!” piper threw her sponge at him. 

and then she heard the worst thing possible. 

it was thalia’s music on the speaker. annabeth’s playlists all had something from thalia - piper felt her stomach drop as she turned back to thalia and drew. the crowd around thalia had started to chant something. 

“sing! sing! sing! sing! sing!” piper’s classmates called. thalia laughed and hopped back onto the hood of the car and smiled at them all. and then she started to sing along to her own song on the radio like a complete fucking idiot. 

annabeth was the first one to clue in. piper knew because she heard the music come to complete stop and when she turned around annabeth had dropped her bucket to the ground. piper looked around the entire parking lot and saw more and more people piece it together. and then they started moving towards thalia. thalia kept singing for a little longer - but then thalia seemed to realize what was going on and she hastily jumped onto the roof of the car she was sitting on as she fumbled for her phone. 

piper had seen this happen before. her dad couldn’t go with her to a lot of places, and when they did hang out in public he always dressed very very carefully to try and put distance between himself and tristan mclean. “okay,” reyna said. piper looked back and saw reyna doing something on her phone. “i just called my sister so hylla’s gonna come by with some friends and try and talk some sense into all of those weirdos.” reyna’s sister did something with security, so piper nodded and turned back to the crowds. 

there were teachers shoving screenplays at thalia and boys singing love songs and girls asking her to autograph their swimsuits. instead of trying to get her to sing, they were just saying thalia over and over again. 

after a few minutes of it, reyna’s sister showed up in uniform with friends, and more importantly - a limo showed up for thalia. piper let out a breath of relief-

and then thalia called her name. “piper!” thalia said, halfway into her limo. “piper get over here!”

piper blinked at her, but leo and reyna shoved at her and she squeezed through the crowds as reyna’s sister helped her through the door. piper watched her friends faces as she drover away. there was no music playing in the limo. 

ASK ATHENA

dear athena,

the really smart and funny guy asked me to work on a group project with him! except i keep freezing up when i talk to him!! i looked up jokes like you said, but i don’t know how to say them. he must think im such an airhead :’(

please help,

average and boring

dear average,

you said he’s funny right? next time he cracks a joke, say one back. also - maybe check out the letters from lonely in love? this is starting to sound weirdly familiar.

athena

piper sat on the carpet with her back to the couch in thalia’s apartment. thalia sat down next to her and handed her a glass of water. for a moment they just sat next to each other, staring at the black screen of the television. 

“i’m sorry about back there,” piper said. “though, you probably shouldn’t have started singing.”

thalia let out a laugh, “yeah. yeah you’re right. but what are you sorry about?”

“for my friends being freaks?” piper offered. 

“it’s fine,” thalia said. “happens all the time.”

piper knew that. it’s why everyone thought she and her dad were homebodies. 

“hey,” thalia said, turning to face piper. “you’re different. you’re not as awful as all of those kids in your classes. i’ve never been to high school, but i’m kinda thankful for that now.” 

piper frowned at thalia, “they’re not all bad.”

thalia blinked at her, “octavian augur is threatening to murder your latin teachers doll. and no ones saying anything. piper - you could say something.”

piper turned away from thalia and back to the black television screen. she wasn’t surprised by what thalia was saying, she’d been saying it all along. thalia wanted high school to have good fucking people. and she wanted piper to be one of them. 

and. well, piper kind of wanted to be one of them too. 

ASK ATHENA

dear athena, 

i made a joke and he made a joke back! we’ve started actually talking and it’s so so so good, but i don’t know what to do now! i just wanted to get to know him at first, but now that i know him i want to ask him out. how do i let him know i’m interested - or how do i know he likes me back? he probably has lots of guys lining up to take him out

lonely in love

dear lonely,

go read average and boring’s letters. if you two aren’t writing ot me about each other i’m going to be very concerned about the state of unrequited crushes at this school. you both like each other. just ask him to go to the dance with you.

athena

piper went home with a mission in mind. she had her dad’s limo pick her up, just to mess with thalia. thalia had sent her off a little in awe and with an autograph request piper had promised ot fulfill with a laugh. piper wasn’t going to let anyone know who ask athena was anytime soon, but she figured she could let at least one secret go. 

her dad took it all in stride, promising her he’d even deliver thalia her autograph in person. her dad was the easy part. annabeth had been blowing up her phone and when she finally answered it was like opening the flood gates. 

“how do you think i should ask thalia grace to the dance?” annabeth asked. piper stared at her phone. 

“why are you asking thalia grace to the dance?”

“piper! i’ve liked thalia grace forever, of course i’m going to ask her to the dance. wait - do you think drew beat me to it? i saw drew slip thalia her number before thalia got into the limo omigod piper i-”

piper cut her off, “annabeth you liked thalia grace’s music. you’ve been eating at the same lunch table as tessa green for a week and i didn’t think you liked her very much.”

“i. well. i just haven’t gotten the chance to get to know her. what, are you jealous that you don’t have a date to the dance or something?”

piper blinked at that. well, that was a take. she pinched herself so she would know she wasn’t hallucinating. “i’m not jealous. i already have a date. besides, you know who you actually know - and it’s not thalia. you know percy.”

“what does percy have to do with anything?”

“annabeth, percy’s going to ask you to the dance on monday. or at least he was going to. if you were ranting to him about thalia he probably doesn’t think you’re interested.”

annabeth was silent for a few moments. and then she said, hesitantly, “percy likes me?”

“yeah,” piper confirmed, way too tired for this conversation. then she hung up the phone because she wasn’t dealing with that for any longer. 

after that, she called reyna. 

reyna pulled up to the front of her house with her jaw hanging open. piper waved goodbye to her dad, who was laughing for some reason, and slipped into the passenger seat. 

“your dad is tristan mclean,” reyna said, looking her right in the eye. “can you please interview him after his newest movie comes out. that would be the funniest issue we’ll ever print. i’ll get rachel and percy to put together a comic strip on it.” 

piper blinked, and then she started to smile. “yeah sure,” piper said. “now can you drive me to octavian’s place?”

reyna dropped her off outside of octavian’s house and piper walked up to the door and rang the bell. after a few seconds the person piper was hoping for answered the door. will solace looked like he’d just rolled out of bed. he was in the year below piper and octavian’s younger step brother. he also hated octavian’s guts. 

“hey,” piper said with a winning smile.

“hey,” will said. “uh, are you here for the doll? lou ellen’s in your math class and he said the new girls been bugging you about rescuing it all week.”

“uh,” piper said. will laughed and walked into the house. piper waited on the steps awkwardly, not quite sure what was going on. will came back a few seconds later with mr. brunner’s horse in one hand. in the other hand was a missing pet poster. 

“hey i made this up with some friends, we thought it was funny,” will told her as he handed over the doll and the poster. “octavian thinks he lost the doll and has been freaking out for the past few days. can you like, record his reaction when he sees it?”

piper nodded slowly and thanked will. when she got back in the car she stared at the objects in her hand. reyna read over the poster. “huh,” reyna said. “maybe we can run an article about - wait his name is chiron? uh chiron’s return.”

“that was so much easier than i thought it would be,” piper said. reyna laughed at her and pulled away. 

PIPER MCLEAN - DAUGHTER OF TRISTAIN MCLEAN - DATING THALIA GRACE?

EXES CHILDREN TURNED LOVEBIRDS

HIDING CELEBRITIES FIND LOVE!

unfortunately, the school paper didn’t get to be the one to break the news on who piper’s dad was. tabloids seemed to have caught on to thalia ushering her into her limo, there was even a picture of it swirling around the internet. some reporters had tried to call them, but her dad had shielded her from most of it. she’d given two quotes that he had approved. the first was, “you’re weirdly interested in a sixteen year olds love life” and the second had been, “yes i’m a lesbian. no i’m not dating thalia. not all teenage lesbians like thalia grace.”

pretty much all of her friends had sent her the clips and screenshots of it. leo had somehow gotten her number and texted her alternatives that involved a lot more swear words he wanted her to use next time. drew had texted saying that she was relieved because siblings shouldn’t share girlfriends. and reyna had called her laughing and they had stayed on the link for a few hours. 

it was...pretty great. piper had even gotten out of the mathletes competition which she really hadn’t wanted to go and fail at because they didn’t want all of the extra attention she would bring. she’d been supposed to cover the event for the paper, but percy had happily taken her spot on the bus. 

he’d asked annabeth to the dance while singing one of thalia’s songs. it was a song about second choices being just as good and annabeth had kissed him in front of the whole school and then told him very firmly that he wasn’t her second choice. 

drew had been a little annoying - she’d texted piper something hearing thalia already had a date for the dance and how she was wondering if reyna would go with her. piper had told her she couldn’t go crawling back to reyna now. and then she told her that she should show up to the dance anyways, because that date wasn’t as sure a thing as drew might be thinking.

drew had left her on read. but the next day she’d been a lot more bearable. piper thought she might be getting the hang of the whole getting people to listen to her for once thing. 

and leo was sitting with them at lunch. piper was pretty sure it had been jason who’d invited him - jason was getting a lot of confessions this week judging by the way he and leo were smiling at each other. leo let piper play with his robot and it didn’t catch on fire, but it did eat grover’s empty soda can.

the day before the dance piper made a returned version of the wanted poster, struggled to make clothes for the horse with reyna (apparently hylla and her had done some sewing classes at a community centre?) and placed chiron the horse on mr. brunner’s desk.

thalia wasn’t in the class with piper to see it all go down, but piper smiled and made direct eye contact with octavian the entire time as she was setting up chiron. he stared at her from his seat and didn’t dare to move a muscle. will’s friend lou ellen recorded it all the way including mr. brunner hugging the horse and challenging students to a duel with his swords. piper took him up on it, and laughed when he beat her. 

“you know,” he said as he took back the sword she’d used. “i can do more in this wheelchair than you might think. like failing you!” mr. brunner had then pointed the sword at octavian and told him to march to the principal’s office. lou ellen’s video was on everyone's snapchat that night.

at lunch leo was smiling at everyone. “guess who’s hosting a dance protest party?”

“me,” jason said. leo turned and threw a hand on his chest and gasped dramatically. jason just smiled at him. “well it’s true! your mom said no so we’re hosting it at my place since i have a massive backyard.”

leo waved his hand at jason and turned back to the rest of the lunch table, “anyways you’re all coming.”

drew blinked at him, “i’m going to the dance. and so is annabeth and percy.”

leo sighed at her, “i know that drew. you are obviously gonna get it at the dance with thalia grace, but then thalia is going to drive you and annabeth and percy back to jason’s once you all get bored of the rest of our school. you know, all the people you hate?”

“uh,” percy said. “this is all news to me.”

“well,” said jason. “dances suck and i’m ordering cake pops and having a bonfire and thalia’s apparently my missing sister who happened to find me and she wanted to host a party with us so we’re having a party and you’re all coming.”

ASK ATHENA

dear athena, 

um. wow. thanks? jason and i don’t really care about anonymity anymore - we’re too busy going out. thanks for letting us know we we were both being dumb. i was lonely in love and he thought he was average and boring but now we’re the cutest couple in school! ask athena verified dating service everyone!

leo and jason

dear leo and jason,

congrats! to the rest of the school, this is not a dating service and you don’t understand how happy i am that i don’t have these too pining in the mailbox anymore. 

athena

thalia picked her up for the dance in her motorcycle. thalia wanted to get more use out of it and piper liked the idea of wearing a fancy dress on a bike. her dad was not having so much fun with it all, but the school wasn’t far away so he just watched them leave anxiously after getting pictures. 

when piper had been over at thalia’s place on saturday thalia had asked her to the dance. thalia had never been to a school dance before, and she wanted to get as much of the high school experience in a week and a bit as she could. that’s why they were also having an anti dance right after. it was more punk, which thalia liked, and it was at her brothers, which meant thalia got to spend time with the brother she hadn’t seen in years do to really shitty custody agreements. 

thalia had asked her as friends, and piper had said yes because thalia was her friend now - somehow - and she didn’t mind doing her a favour. especially if it meant she could see the look on drew’s face. besides, piper had never actually gone to one of these dances before because she’d always been busy at the anti dances with her friends who didn’t get dates until this year. 

piper’s classmates were all taking pictures as they got off the bike in front of the school, but piper ignored them. she let thalia throw an arm around her shoulders and they laughed at stupid dresses as they walked into the school. it took thalia about three minutes to ditch her for drew - which was apparently becoming a very real thing and was also apparently completely fine with reyna. piper didn’t really know what was going on there and she wasn’t sure she wanted to. 

instead, she danced with percy and annabeth and drank gross punch and defaced a couple decorations with grover - who insisted on recycling the broken decorations after - and then they got on the limo and went to jasons. 

reyna was sitting by the fire pit on her phone when they got there. piper took a deep breathe, grabbed two cake pops, and sat next to reyna. 

“hi,” piper said. “cake pop?”

reyna looked up from her phone and giggled, taking one, “thanks. how was the dance?”

piper shrugged, “it sucked. you weren’t there.”

reyna’s mouth dropped open. “oh.”

“yeah,” piper said, she was a little nervous but she couldn’t stop herself from smiling. “so uh. i’ve liked you for a while, haha. and um. do you want to go out?”

reyna’s face broke out into a grin. piper had always known that reyna looked beautiful in the firelight, but it was still stunning, “yeah i wanna go out. i’ve wanted to ask you out since we were kids, but i didn’t think you liked me.”

piper stared at her, “i’ve been trying to figure out what you’ve been reading on your phone all year because i wanted an excuse to be next to you when i looked over your shoulder. i’ve liked you too since we were kids.”

reyna started laughing and piper joined in. 

“it’s romances, by the way.” “what?”

“i’m always reading trashy romances,” reyna told her. piper stared at her and then started laughing harder, bending over not being able to stop. reyna put her hand on piper’s back and piper did her best to take deep breaths as she calmed down. 

as she sat back up they smiled at each other and reyna leaned in and kissed piper’s cheek and they watched the fire. grover and percy were daring each other dumb shit as annabeth watched and one upped them, and thalia and drew were making out and leo and jason were stealing bites from each others cake pops. 

piper rested her head on reyna’s shoulders and felt the warmth of the fire on her face.