#but by god they’re the worst human you’ve ever met

[workingchemistry]

One of Fox’s worst traits is that he has no sense of pride or self-preservation. He’s willing to make an absolute mockery of himself so long as it will earn him success in whatever manner he defines it. That's what makes him so dangerous and also what makes him so annoying. The only way to win against Fox is to not fight in the first place.

So. Rex does the only thing he can do in the face of such adversity–He goes limp.

Fox adjusts his hold easily, without pausing his diatribe for a beat. He simply squats, throws Rex over his shoulder, and walks onward. “You sure you’re eating all your ration bars, ve’vut’shebs? If Cody is starving you, you can tell me. I’ll knock him on his ass for you.

“You fucking suck.” Rex says, crossing his arms. He doesn’t bother fighting back physically as he takes comfort in pulling Fox down to his level.

Fox snorts and pats Rex’s back with his free hand, clearly taking the comment as innuendo. “Not as much as I used to.”

[arolesbianism]

Bud gaming

[trancylovecraft]

Um hello, could you write some relationship headcanons for Lucifer from Blue Exorcist with a half human/ half angel s/o? If that’s alright with you, please and thank you. I liked your recent Blue Exorcist headcanons and I’m also excited for season 3!

(BLUE EXORCIST) YANDERE LUCIFER x HALF-ANGEL! READER: Headcannons

Thank you for ordering!

Come again soon!

• Thank you SO much for requesting aoex lucifer like OMG we need more yandere fics of him (and aoex) and I'm willing to provide

• Since angels don’t exist in Aoex as a reference I’m gonna use the stereotypical angel as a guide.

• This takes place following my other headcannons of him once he finally captures you.

• As soon as he does he notices something off about you. A lump in the back of your clothing that seemed to twitch or the way your wounds bled golden.

• Firstly he’d be absolutely stunned. Angels exist? Ridiculous! Yet as he sees your unconscious form, Wings splayed out and all there was no denying it.

• He’d totally be into it though. Lucifer views himself as perfection and you being such a holy and pure being just matches him perfectly.

• Even though you are only half, Though.

• He has a lot of questions about your heritage. Which one of your parents are an angel? Have you met them? Do archangels exist too? Are one of them your parent?

• He asks these questions in such a monotone voice yet he’s really intrigued by who sired you.

• Lucifer also asks about heaven, if you’ve been there and If there really is one and there is a god

• He asks about your wings too. Lucifer thinks they’re absolutely divine and asks (Near pleadingly) to touch them. To which you back away in aversion until his guards bring you forth, He doesn’t care whether you say yes or no. You’re his so he can caress your wings all he wants. 

• Unironically calls you “My Angel” with a straight face.

• When your forced to sleep in the same bed as him he constantly strokes the feathers of your wings, Finding comfort in them.

• Will be testing your blood for any healing properties for his elixr’s. If you do then there is absolutely no way you’re getting out of this place.

• You move to a bigger room so you have more space for your wings.

• The clothing he gets for you will be much more ‘Angelic’ with mostly whites and pastels. Its all for his delusion of divinity with you, Even if you are only half.

• Youll live longer because of your blood. Lucifer is glad about that because it gives him more time to find a way to make you immortal alongside him.

• Homare now goes to bird care classes on her time off.

• Lucifer, When he has a good body, Likes to take you around museums (Which he rents out so you two are alone) and gets you to explain what happened in the religious sections.

• Even if you have no clue since you’re half human and weren’t born around that time, He’ll believe any gibberish you make up and listen with interest.

• Even though he is a demon, He does view himself as more of an angel so he doesn’t see any issue when you say you cant be together due to your conflicting sides. (And that he kidnapped you and touches your wings without consent, But he wasn’t really listening to that part)

• If you ever try to escape him by flying off he will catch you. Both his siblings, Their kin and the Illuminati will have no problem tracking you down.

• The worst part is when you kneel before him after being recaptured, Surrounded by the entire Illuminati as he softly threatens to clip your wings if you do it again.

• Afterwards you now wear leg weights to make it more difficult. While he would definitely clip your wings he wants to keep them in perfect condition, So you’re safe another day.

• Good luck trying to cry for your angelic parent when you’re locked in a angelically warded room!

[brownieracha]

Cat café

pairing: Felix x reader

wc: 2.5K

genre: fluff

content warnings: none

a/n: this is my first fic so be nice please :)

(ty @georgenootfound for beta reading this ily)

“Oops sorry,” I try looking up from the floor to see who I’ve run into. Literally. All my things are on the floor. Kneeling on the floor next to me I see a young blond man collecting everything that’s spread everywhere.

“Oh! don’t worry” he hands me my last things “I wasn’t looking, it’s totally my fault.”

I finish shoving all my stuff inside the tote bag. I turn back to thank him, but. Wow.

The first thing I can notice is that he looks like an angel. He’s smiling down at me with a charming look in his face. His hair is blond and slightly pushed back, and I can’t help but notice the little freckles decorating his pale skin.

Fuck I love freckles.

“I’m Felix by the way” he scratches the back of his head nervously. Could he get any cuter? “Again, sorry for bumping into you” his deep voice snaps me out of my trance.

I introduce myself back.

There’s not a day that has gone by since that accident. I have not stopped thinking about that Felix. At this point, I don’t even think I can stop.

Thinking about his perfectly styled blonde hair or his tiny freckles decorating his face. The color of his eyes. The way he smiled at me before introducing himself. But the one thing that kept me awake at night was his voice. That deep voice would make anyone feel things they’ve never felt before. How someone who looks so angelic could sound so devilish?

With those thoughts on my mind (always on my mind. I can’t stop), I started the day. Just like every other day, I get ready for work and leave my flat, not forgetting to say goodbye to my cat. On my way to work I stop on a shop nearby to buy some stuff for my little fluff ball. I was wandering through the corridors in the pet shop when I bump into someone.

Again. Can anyone ever look where they’re going?

“Sor-“ I start to apologize to the stranger when, to my surprise I realize who it is. This couldn’t be real, not again. “Oh-”

“Hi Felix” I look up at him before looking down at the floor. God, my shoes really need some cleaning. I chose the worst day to wear these – did it have to be in front of him? I laugh nervously, a little embarrassed. What are the chances?

“Oh hey, didn’t see you there…again” I feel my cheeks going red “It seems like we can’t meet in a normal way.” He chuckles.

“Oh, I wish we could,” I mumble, still looking down at my shoes.

“What was that?” I look up immediately. Stupid, why did I have to say that out loud? I feel my cheeks heating up more- if that’s even possible. I bet I look like a fucking tomato. Crap.

“Huh?” Huh? That’s all I can say? God. I wish I could function like a normal human being. “I didn’t say anything” ugh.

“Are you sure?” A devilish smile paints his face “are you sure you didn’t say anything?” he tilts his head.

Damn. I wish I could disappear.

Instantly.

I don’t know what to say, so I stay silent. I look back down, too embarrassed to keep eye contact.

He grins. “Me too, by the way.”

And with that he turns around and walks away. It takes me a few seconds to process everything that happened.

Wait. Did he just-? I might have just lost an opportunity to hang out with the nicest guy I’ve ever met.

I try to forget about it and continue with my day. But I can’t. I keep thinking about him all day long. Even when I need to be concentrating at work.

“… and it’s the third order you’ve got wrong.” My coworker’s voice brings me back from my daydreaming. “Are you okay?”

“I’m sorry girl but I don’t know where my mind is today.” Lies, lies, lies. I know exactly where it is – but I’m not about to tell her where. “I guess it’s one of those days” I laugh and go back front to avoid any more questions.

A couple of weeks go by, and my life goes back to normal. No more weird run-ins with handsome guys. God, I wish I could see him again.

“... he is really handsome.” I hear my two coworkers giggling while I’m getting ready to start my shift.

I roll my eyes, smiling a little. I work hard every day because I need the money to make my dream come true: opening my own bakery. Sometimes they don’t do the perfect job and I must jump in and do it myself, mostly because they get distracted by boys. But I understand them, I also was 18 once. Sometimes I feel old even though I’m only 23.

I finish tying my apron and go up front to start my shift.

“Hi, welcome to Fruity Paradise, what can I get for-” I shut up as soon as I look up from the screen. This can’t be true. What were the possibilities that Felix is here, at my job, and I’m the one taking his order. I hear my coworkers giggling behind me.

“Oh, hey again” he smiles. “I would like a mango smoothie, please”

I keep staring at his face, he’s more handsome than what I remember. He runs a hand through his blonde hair while he keeps smiling. It takes me a second to stop staring at him and place his order on the screen. I pick the glass and turn back to start making his smoothie.

I can feel someone’s eyes on me, so I turn back around. Unsurprisingly, he’s looking at me – unsurprisingly, I still feel myself jump when our gazes meet. I quickly turn back around, my heart at my throat.

I’m finishing pouring the mix into the blender when one of my coworkers comes next to me.

“He can’t keep his eyes off you, do you know him?” I hum.

“He’s so handsome, right?” my other coworker joins us. Awesome.

I rush to finish Felix’s order; I don’t want to explain why or how I know him.

I hand him his order and when I do, our hands touch. He smiles toothily.

“I was wondering, actually-,” something seems to get stuck on his throat and he coughs.

His freckles stand out against the blooming pink of his cheeks.  He’s so cute it makes me a little light-headed - my heart races thinking that maybe I’m not the only one who’s nervous “would you like to go on a date with me?”

What?

“Oh-” I laugh nervously. Can I, for once, not turn into a ball of nerves? I take a deep breath, trying to calm down. “Yes, I would like to go on a date with you” I look down and notice that my apron has a dirty spot on it. Okay, well.

He hands me his phone with the contacts app open, and I add my number into his phone.

“I’ll text you, so that you can save my number back” and with that he goes to a table to drink his smoothie.

I smile at him and get back to serve the next costumer in line.

An hour later I see Felix leaving but I don’t even have time to say goodbye to him. Today seems like one of the busiest days we’ve had this week. I keep making smoothies until it’s close time.

Checking my phone on my way home I see that Felix has already texted me.

Felix: Hi :)

Felix: It’s Felix

I add his number back before replying.

Me: Hii!

Felix: are you still working?

Me: no! I’m omw home :)

Felix: nice!! Get home safely :)

I catch myself smiling at my phone. He’s so nice. I put my earphones on and listen to my favorite playlist on the way home. Once I arrive home, I say hello to Patches jr. and to my roommate. I go into the kitchen to bake something.

“Hey! You seem really happy today” my roommate hugs me. “Did something happen at work?”

I stay silent for a second, thinking about what to say. Should I lie right now? This thing feels too new - too fragile - to talk about. And frankly, I’m a little embarrassed ever since I saw how dumb my face looks when I think; let alone talk about Felix.

But he’s been my best friend since forever… I can’t make something up. He would know I’m lying right away.

“Are you going to tell me, or I will have to guess?” he looks at me without letting go of the hug.

“Mmm…” I grimace at myself. “Maybe I’ve met someone…”

He gasps.

“No!”

In the end, I tell him everything that has happened with Felix and how I feel about it. I really can’t keep anything from him, we tell each other everything. He’s the only one I can trust this much.

“So, you’re going on a date with him” he sounds more excited than me. “We need to get you the cutest outfit ASAP.”

“Chill, I still don’t know when or what are we going to do” I laugh at his excitement. “But if that means going shopping, it’s the perfect excuse”

The next morning, I wake up later than usual. I don’t have to go to work today so I decide to clean up the apartment. Since Jisung is working today I can blast my music to get myself in the mood of cleaning.

Two hours later I finish with everything and check my phone. To my surprise, Felix has texted me. I feel myself start to smile as soon as I see his name pop up on my screen - see? Disgusting.

Felix: about the date… when are you free?

Me: I’m free this Saturday! is that okay for you? :)

Felix: sure :)

Felix: I was thinking about going to Whisker of Expresso, what do you think?

I look up the place he’s suggesting for the date. Is a cat café!

Me: a cat café?! Sign me up!

We decide to meet there on Saturday. I should update Jisung on the plans and go out to buy that “cutest outfit” he kept mentioning last night.

The day of the date arrives, and I’m a ball of nerves. I’ve been getting ready for an hour now and I still can’t decide what to wear. Jisung and I went to the mall and bought more than one outfit option - which was a bad idea, because now I need to decide.

“I’m not going!” I say after the fourth outfit change.

Jisung rolls his eyes. “You looked amazing in the last outfit, and the one before that…” I shoot a death glare his way and go back inside my room.

Jisung prides himself in knowing me better than anyone else in the world - and he’s right. I suppose, though, that even best friends have their limits. I heave a sigh, pouting to myself a little.

My room is a mess of clothes right now (I can’t even see the bit of floor that separates my bed from the wardrobe). After a few more agonizing minutes, I decide that I’m going to wear a pair of bootcut jeans and a white, long sleeve top that has a heart cut out in the middle of it (the first outfit I tried on) (I hope Jisung is conveniently in the bathroom when I leave. He’s going to yell at me).

For my shoes I go with my favorite platform boots. And, of course, my tote bag.

I arrive at the cat café 10 minutes earlier than we’ve decided to meet and I decide to wait outside for Felix. I’m looking at my phone when I feel someone tap my shoulder.

“Hey!” I look up to find Felix right next to me. “You look really nice. I like your makeup.”

“Oh! Hi!” I smile at him “Thank you! You look good too” I return the compliment.

We head inside the café, and the first thing I notice inside is the beautiful decoration. Well, apart from the cats, obviously, but I feel like that one was a given. On the walls there’s film posters, but instead of the actors they’ve changed it to cats. The tables are small, and instead of chairs, people are sitting on soft-looking puffs, making it easier for the cats to approach them and hang out with them.

We walk to one of the tables and sit down on the puffs. As soon as we sit down, a cat approaches us.

“Oh, hello baby!” I immediately go to pet him. I spend a couple of minutes petting and “talking” to the cat.

“I’m starting to get a bit jealous” Felix says laughing.

“Sorry” I also laugh. “I really like cats”

“I was joking” he adds, still smiling a little. “I get it, I like them too. So, how was your day?”

We start having a small talk about our day while more cats approach us. After a couple of minutes, we get our coffees and the cake we’ve ordered.

“Wow, this velvet cake is amazing!”

“Cat and cake enthusiast?” he laughs. “If it’s that good, can I try it?” he takes a small bite when I nod.

“Oh, velvet cake has always been my favorite cake, it’s kind of my comfort cake” I confess “I bake it whenever I’m feeling sad”

“You bake?”

“Yes! I am in fact a certificated baker. My dream is to open my own bakery” I explain. “it’s been my dream since I was a child and I’m working hard to accomplish it”

“That’s so cool! You have to let me try one of your desserts sometime” he looks at me and we maintain eye contact for longer than I expected. I get so nervous I have to look down, petting the cat that has been sitting on my lap.

“Uh- yeah, of course!” I reply still looking at the cat.

Get yourself together.

“So, what do you do for a living?” I look back at him. When I do I see that he has his phone pointing at me. “What are you doing?” I laugh.

“Oh, you looked so cute while petting the cat that I had to take a photo” he shows me his phone. “I- I’ll delete. Sorry” he blushes.

“Oh! I do look good! Don’t delete” I laugh “but you have to send me the photo” I wink.

We keep looking at each other and I can’t help but look at his lips. This time I don’t look away and I lean closer to him. His hand comes close to my face, and he places a strand of my hair behind my ear. Then he starts caressing my cheek while he leans closer to me. So, I close the space between us, pressing our lips together. His other hand comes at my face, and I interlace my fingers behind his neck.

In that moment I knew this was the first of many dates.

[suspicious-whumping-egg]

Low Profile Part 18: Revealed

Series masterlist here. Major spoilers in this one, cannot be read as a stand-alone. Please start from the beginning if you aren’t familiar with the series. Enjoy!

~~

A stranger stared back at Hale from the screen. 

His hair was long, thick curls down to his shoulders. He wore makeup— gold, shimmering eyeshadow, eyeliner sharp as a blade, mascara that had run in tear trails down his bruised face. His arms folded in front of him were littered with dark, mottled track marks that peeked from the edges of his rolled-up shirtsleeves. 

“If you’re watching this, future me, I’m sorry. I’m so, so fucking sorry. Uh, your name, if you’ve forgotten that too, is Hale Ellison. Or, it used to be. Maybe you’re better off with a new life altogether. I guess not, ‘cause then you wouldn’t be watching this. But you are. 

And if you’re not me and you’re watching this, assume the worst has happened. And I’m only risking the worst ‘cause it’s gotta get out there. Someone has to stop them. I can feel it slipping away… I wrote it all down, before they can make me forget, it’s all on the drive— just get the code. I’ll remember it if it fucking kills me. Get it, even if you have to torture it out of me. Someone’s gotta make the killing stop.” 

He took a long, shaking breath, wiping his face with his palm and leaving a smear of black behind. 

On the other side of the screen, Hale watched mutely, eyes wide and stricken. Viper eased a warm mug into his hands, but he barely registered its existence. 

“God. I don’t know where to begin. How much they’re gonna make me forget. But uh, I’ve gotta start somewhere. Wayford. 

When I was around eleven, my father committed a mass murder of those who sought to uncover his secrets. The Ellison legacy is built on nothing but blood money, but anyone who dares mention it…” he shuddered, squeezing his eyes shut for a minute and feeling along the crook of his elbow as if to assure himself there was nothing there. 

“Let’s just say, he doesn’t take kindly to any reminders. But yeah. The richest of the rich pay him for all sorts of shit. Got a political candidate that needs to be conveniently sick, injured, even dead?  Want a personal supply of trafficked people at your doorstep to destroy one by one? Need a protest to turn into a bloodbath to prove a point? Human meat for a luxury banquet? Julian Tucker Ellison can get it done in a heartbeat,” he said bitterly, face twisting in disgust. 

“The whole family was in on it, except for me. Decided I was too weak, too soft. But the things I’ve heard… I couldn’t let them go unnoticed. I’ve been collecting evidence since I was sixteen, recording top-secret meetings, uploading bank wires, decrypting files. Made it four years playing off every close call as innocent curiosity, and a fifth working with the mafia to stay better hidden. They like to blame them, anytime an incident goes a bit too public. Turns out the enemy of my enemy is the best asset I’ve got. Strategically invaluable, but don’t trust a thing they say. “ 

Hale’s gaze darted to Viper, then back to the screen, like he was waiting for him to turn it off. Slam the laptop shut before Hale learned too much. But Viper only gave him a solemn nod, raising an eyebrow ever so slightly, and let the video play on. 

“You— I— dammit. I don’t even know where you’re at right now. Who you’re friends with. But currently, I’m closest with two of the mobsters working right under the queen bee. Silas Bevereaux, right hand man and the only person I’ve met who’s more ruthless than good ol’ Julian himself. Head medic as well, knows his way around any and every drug. He’s helped me counteract the effects of— of— of the shit they’ve been giving me. The doctors, if they can be called that, under my father’s instruction. For now at least, I still have the freedom to move around during the day. But at night, I’m theirs. They’ve tried keeping me under a cocktail of hallucinogens, hypnosis, amnestics— anything that’ll make me question reality. Destabilize me enough that no one will trust me even if I do spill the family secrets. Let me out during the day, completely batshit, so everyone knows I’m just the family freak. If not for Silas, it would’ve worked. He’s handy with a gun too, can take out a crowd of 100 in seconds with nothing but a glock. And he will. Beg him for help if you have to, but don’t trust him for a second. 

And Viper. Insists he doesn’t have a last name. Where do I even start?” 

Hale took a tentative sip of his chai, which had begun to grow cold. Guess it wasn’t important enough to the old me that we were lovers, he thought bitterly. Or maybe he’d had too much confidence in himself, that surely he’d never forget his own boyfriend. At the mention of his own name, Viper stiffened next to him. His jaw tensed, he pulled his knife out of his pocket and started toying with it on instinct. 

“Can’t go back, love,” he muttered to Hale. “I warned you.” 

The Hale on the screen sighed brokenly.

“We were friends. Brothers. Lovers, after that. He helped me through the side effects, the withdrawals, the beatings. Plotted revenge with me when I was hurting too much to move. And if you’re watching this, Viper, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

Hale slammed the  space bar of the laptop so hard that he was surprised it didn’t break. 

“What the fuck are you?” He snapped to the stranger beside him, the mug slipping from his hands and shattering on the tiled floor. 

“It’s a deepfake, isn’t it? Some sick jab to get back at Silas for being a half-decent human being? Well it’s not gonna fucking work.” 

“We had an agreement, the two of us,” Viper said icily. 

“You believed that if so much pain and pressure and despair could shock your mind into retreating inside itself, the same conditions would be required to bring it back. And maybe, just maybe, I’m fucking sick of you. He’d hate you. You’d hate yourself, if you knew any better.” His voice was laden with vitriol, eyes narrowed to slits. 

“And Silas? He just thought torture doesn’t work, plain and simple. You said it yourself, even if you forgot. He’s ruthless.” 

Hale shook his head. 

“Someone who loved me wouldn’t fucking do this,” he retorted. “You faked it, then, didn’t you? Seduced me into giving you what you needed? Showed your true colors once they brainwashed me into oblivion?” 

“I already said. I loved him, I hate you. ‘Cause you’re the reason he’s not here with me. Whatever they turned you into, it replaced the man I love. And I’ll do anything to you if it means getting him back.”  

“We’re the same fucking person!” Hale cried. “Hurting me hurts the person you loved too, ‘cause we’re one and the fucking same! Get a grip!” 

Viper seized Hale by the shoulders before he could utter another word, throwing him to the ground and landing a brutal kick to his chest. 

“He’s locked up in there somewhere, and you’re not letting him out,” Viper hissed. 

“This was never about the drive, was it?” Hale forced out, ribs throbbing. “This was about taking it all out on me that you weren’t fucking good enough to save me before they did this, wasn’t it? Pretending I’m a whole different person ‘cause then it means I can be your punching bag? You’re fucking sick.” 

Viper just gave a sad smile, edged with smug, unmistakable victory.  

“Oh, Hale. You don’t understand, do you? There is a drive, but it’s been hacked. We already have the code, the files, all the evidence we need about your family. The only thing we still need is you. The real you. Someone’s gotta be able to attest to the horrors of your family firsthand. Someone’s gotta put this all together, and you’re the only one who knows how. And… well, I’ll let you hear yourself say it.” 

He reached up to the laptop again, not bothering to help Hale back onto the couch. 

“Do whatever it takes to get us back. I swear I’ll come back to you, love. I’ll come back, no matter how long it takes. I won’t forget you.” 

The Hale on the screen was earnest, soft, even reverent for the most fleeting of seconds. Amidst the trembling hands that no amount of chemicals managed to erase, the tears he choked back, the terrified glances over his shoulder. 

“And future me, I’m sorry about all of this. Hope you remember it all soon enoguh so it’ll all just be a bad dream. I’ve told Viper to do whatever it takes to get me back, and I mean it. The memories, they’re already slipping away. I’m barely myself. And I’m not gonna let them win. I’m sorry, for what he’s gonna do to you. For what’s already been done. But you’re gonna remember, and you’re gonna understand. I swear it.” 

Taglist: @morning-star-whump @whumpkitty @shameless-dumbass @hurtthemgently @gala1981 @avvail @d-cs @whumpedydump

[slasherslxt333]

I love your passion for the things you love and the smile you get when you talk about them

I love the way you work so hard to provide for yourself and everyone else despite how exhausted you are emotionally and physically

you do everything in your power to strive and keep going

and you never complain about how tired you feel inside

you keep fighting and you keep going every step that knocks you down you fight 100x harder

and no one ever gives you enough credit for simply waking up in the morning to do it all over again

you are beyond special and important and your light that you have is so bright and nourishing

It’s beautiful

you have no idea how magnificent of a human being you are

Through every trial and error you hurt but you bounce right back and get yourself on track

and I can’t imagine how many people would be devastated if that light from your eyes and your heart ever went out

God that’s such a blessing I’ve never met anyone with a soul like yours

it’s precious and devine

and I absolutely adore any and every bit of time you spend on this earth

whether it’s forever or just a short time

you spread your greatness and resilience and you provide a space for me you create a hope where I always feel comfortable and secure and in between that space I also feel that it’s never really going to end but if it ever did i know I’ll be with you again you communicate in ways that never make me question even in the silence and the look on your face it’s the truth love is a blessing

to you despite my flaws they’re just perfect imperfections and I’ve never ever been able to find a human that knows me quite like you

That treats me like the rarest of gems that never expects anything from me other than to wake up with a smile on my face and just breathe you always appreciate me and don’t take advantage of my forgiveness or anything i do you’re gentle and sweet but you’re so overprotective and it makes me feel so safe emotionally i can trust you with absolutely anything and I can tell you absolutely everything and you never once pass judgment you correct me and still accept me i could pour my soul to you and I know with absolute certainty that you would never ever betray that and hurt me ever I’ve been so in love with you for what seems like forever no matter how many times I try to tell myself I’m crazy or tell myself it’s not real I can’t because I always come back to you and feel everything all over again I’m hopelessly in love with you and I can’t lie anymore you’re the one I’m waiting for to share my morning coffee and my midnight drives to wake up the morning or just watch the sunrise to spend every evening dancing in the kitchen and go on last minute road trips just so I can buy milkshakes and sit in the parking lot of McDonald’s at 2am to know you even more you’re what I’ve been looking for you’re my Friday nights on the couch watching sitcoms your my Sunday morning Pj’s on pancakes in the afternoon you’re my Tuesday night shopping partner that says i take forever just to decide to get one thing your my Monday morning babe you get up so early don’t forget to fill tank and bring yourself back home to me i need to be safe

you’re so stubborn and indecisive but you know just what you want and you know that I’m just the same and you love me that way

you see me at worst and bring me to my best you build me up and i keep you focused

I never have to fall that far because you’re there to take my hand

and the only thing I have to do when I’m with you is just breath and it feels like a warm beach day with toes in the sand

and even on the worst days you leave that little note for me that’s always on the nightstand telling me

“you love me and nothing will ever change even when I’m brat you say and i always want my way you’ve loved me since the day we met and you are here to stay “

and i can’t wait for that to be reality because the only tragedy is i haven’t met you yet… I’m still counting all the days, patiently waiting for you come my way and i don’t care how long it takes because i know when you get here everyday that i have you will be my favorite memory because only then will i know for sure that i am… lucky

By princess mandicorn

[mendessi]

The Temporary Fracture

Druig x Eleni (female oc)

Summary: Eleni is impaled during battle with a Deviant and with fear that she is dying, she shares something important with Druig

Accepting requests(:

SPOILER WARNING: DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN ETERNALS (well i guess not really but just be aware)

“They’re gonna write legends about her, you know.” Eleni said as she watched Thena greet small smiling children in the streets of Athens.

“Maybe they’ll write legends about all of us.” Druig answered. He looked over at Eleni, a small smile on his face, affection in his eyes as he watched her. “Legends about the beautiful Eleni and her deadly scream. What a wonderful protector she was, how much the people loved her. Should I go on?”

“No, you can stop there.” Eleni shoved his shoulder with her own, her cheeks turning slightly pink. 

“You don’t give yourself enough credit, El.” He said. 

“What credit is there to give?” She looked up at the sky, admiring the stars, wondering which one of them was closest to home. “You guys are all so great. Sometimes I wonder what I’m here for.” 

“They call you the Goddess of Wind, did you know that?” He said. He pulled her arm gently to make her face him. “You’re one of the strongest out of us, how could you ever doubt yourself, my love?” 

Her stomach tied up in knots at the idea of being “his love”. He called her this all the time, but it was a mere nickname to her. She didn’t take it seriously, but anytime he said it, he meant it with his whole being.

“Goddess of wind, huh?” A smile tugged at her lips. Though she found her power quite useless, the rest of the team couldn’t be more grateful to have her. She was more useful than she knew. Druig’s comment was correct. Her scream was deadly and more importantly she could control wind, which was helpful in a battle against Deviants. 

“Did you know that all of the legends about banshees are also about you?” 

“Yes.” Her smile dropped. “And they’re all written about these god awful, terrifying creatures.” 

“That’s just because they don’t know all you’ve done for humanity.” He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. 

“Two Deviants breaking the Northeast barrier.” Kingo grabbed both of their shoulders, yanking them in the direction of the fight. Once they reached the wall, the Deviants had just made their way over it. Kingo began drawing up the power in his hands to use against the monsters and Eleni used her hands to manipulate the wind to kick up sand around them to block their vision. 

The Deviants were weak so the fight didn’t last very long. It only took a split second for the worst to happen. Eleni had just put the last Deviant down with her bare hands and she figured that was enough. Just as she turned her back to the lifeless creature on the floor, she felt a searing pain through the center of her chest. The Deviant had just enough life left in it to stab it’s tail through Eleni’s armor. She fell to her knees as her eyes met Druig’s. She barely noticed Kingo move around her to kill it for good. Druig sprinted to Eleni’s side, catching her before her head hit the ground. 

“We need to get her to Ajak.” Kingo said.

“This looks really bad, Kingo.” Druig placed his hand on her chest, trying to control the bleeding. 

“Look, she’s going to be fine. None of us have ever died.” Kingo told him, but he wasn’t very convincing. Even he could tell that this injury looked beyond repair if they didn’t get to Ajak within the next ten minutes. 

“I don’t want to move her. It could make things worse. Go find Makkari and bring Ajak. Now.” Druig tried not to show his panic but looking down at Eleni’s pale face made him feel a type of fear he had never felt in his entire time on Earth. 

“We don’t die.” Eleni’s hand reached for his face, but he grabbed her hand and held it at her side. 

“Don’t move.” He said through a shaky breath. Eleni did feel a slight panic rising in her chest at the thought of dying. They all presumed it was almost impossible to die, yet here she was on the ground in Athens. 

“I need to tell you something.” She said, the metallic taste of blood on her lips. She was gently trying to manipulate the wind into her lungs so she wouldn’t stop breathing because every breath was getting harder. 

“Tell me after Ajak fixes you up, okay?” Druig looked down at her, and tears brimmed his eyes for the first time since they had been on Earth. 

“It’s important.” She squeezed his hand and a small smile played at her lips. 

“It can wait.” He did his best to hide any signs of anxiety but she knew him better than anyone. He was afraid of losing her and she could sense it. She could also sense that the air was filling her lungs slower and slower. 

“I love you.” Eleni said, not an ounce of regret weighing on her. If she was in fact about to die, she didn’t want to leave this world not saying the one thing that had been burdening her since they arrived. She loved him with her whole mind, body, heart and soul and she’d be damned if he didn’t know. 

“Yes, I love you too.” Druig smiled. He of course didn’t understand that she meant she was in love with him, not just that she loved him. They all loved each other at the end of the day (whether they said it or not, the love was there) , but Eleni and Druig’s love was always different. 

“No.” Her eyebrows furrowed when she noticed he didn’t understand. “I love you.” She coughed as blood dripped down her chin. When his eyes softened and she saw that he finally understood, she smiled and let her eyes flutter closed. The sounds around her blurred and her hands stopped moving, no longer manipulating air into her lungs.

To Be Continued...

Druig Masterlist by Mendessi

[wolfybugswriting]

Itadori/sukuna x reader

Summary: You go into a yearly rut, and this time Yuji catches you out of your room. He learns what's going on and decides to try and help you. Sukuna's a brat.

Warnings: amab gn reader(has a dick, but I try to not use gendered pronouns), masturbation, somewhat rough sex to even rougher sex w/ Sukuna, lots of biting, slight degradation? reader teases Yuji about wanting to fuck them, Sukuna is a brat, Yuji is super submissive, nice fluffy ending

Note(s): In this, the rut is essentially a side effect of your curse/cursed technique

Word count: 4.2k

With a huff, you slammed the snooze button on your alarm clock for the who-knows-how-many time - you hadn't been keeping count. Still foggy with sleep, and the side effects of your incoming rut, you didn't really care how late you slept in today. You'd managed to keep your situation a secret from your friends, feeling more comfortable dealing with it on your own. You told them that you were out on a mission, and would lock yourself up in your room until it subsided.

But now you were hungry, late in the evening; the others should be out by now, so you made your way to the kitchen. You took enough food to hold yourself over for a while longer, and it was a good thing too, hearing footsteps as you locked your door behind you.

Fucking hell- You could sense him from here, connected to both Itadori and the curse he hosted. You see, you were also a vessel. You housed the only curse that could rival Sukuna; one who was once his lover when they were human, until she was killed. She resented Sukuna for not trying to save her, but they were still connected to each other whether they liked it or not.

Shaking your head clear of your thoughts, you huddled into your haphazard mess of pillows and blankets. Maybe you could just sleep away your problem.

. . .

"Fuuucck..." You groaned, throwing your blankets off of you as your body was starting to overheat. This was one of the worst ruts you've gone through already, and knowing just how close Itadori's room was to yours certainly wasn't helping. You'd liked the guy for a while, his kind while sometimes a bit childish nature catching your eye. Then combined with your shared memories of Sukuna, thanks to your own curse, you were whipped to say the least.

Stumbling out of your room to get another water bottle to try and cool yourself off some, you froze at the sight of Itadori stumbling down the hallway towards you. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, jumping a little when he finally noticed you.

"H-hey, you're back!" His voice was lower, and scratchy from just waking up. You tried not to think about how else you'd like to hear his voice.

"Yeah... What're you doing up?" Leaned back against the wall, you made sure to keep some distance between the two of you.

Oblivious as ever, he moved to stand right in front of you, laughing a little. "Just getting a midnight snack, what about you?"

Gods he smells good- "Water." You grit out, unable to look at the other. Even in the dim lighting he looks good.

Shuffling back towards your room, you stuff your hands in your pockets. You couldn't be around him for too long; as in control of yourself as you normally are, you didn't trust yourself to not pin the pink-haired male to the wall and-

No, don't even think about it. You don't want to freak him out, you idiot.

"Are you ok? You don't look too good," the good-natured idiot came even closer, trying to look into your eyes. It was hard to see your flushed face in the dark, but he knew you enough by now that he could tell something was wrong.

You had to bite your tongue, not wanting to say anything about your rut, and besides you didn't want to focus on just how close he is, or how you could practically hear his heartbeat- or was that your own?

"'M fine. Just- I'm going back to sleep." You didn't wait for a response, though you could hear him ask about your water, and you quickly closed your door and dropped onto your bed with a heavy sigh.

. . .

"What was that about...?" he wondered aloud, a little worried. You were never really the super upbeat type of person like himself or Nobara, but you seemed grumpier than usual and he didn't like to see you upset. When you two had first met, he could hardly get a word out of you, but that was a long time ago; he hoped something hadn't happened to you, or worse that he'd done something.

Eventually deciding to get his snack, and a water bottle that he left by your door, Yuji went back to his room. He curled up on his bed with whatever he'd grabbed out of the pantry with a sigh. As a mouth formed on his hand, he frowned but waited for Sukuna to speak.

"You can tell something's different about them, can't you?" The curse grinned, knowing something his host didn't.

"Obviously. Why?" Though he'd gotten more used to Sukuna's presence, he still didn't trust him. To be fair, he hasn't given much of a reason to trust him.

Still speaking into the darkened room aloud, Sukuna pulled his memories to the front of his mind and sharing them with Yuji in turn. "You see, the curse your little friend shares a body with," an old memory, but it was clear as day. She had an almost scary resemblance to you. "We were lovers."

Yuji nearly choked on his food, surprised that the King of Curses could have had a lover, let alone said lover now inhabiting the body of his crush. It clicked in his mind after that moment why he always felt so drawn to you, even before the crush on you had developed.

"What happened?" While he didn't know why, he'd known of Sukuna's aversion to the other curse; he'd made it clear from the moment when you and Yuji had met.

"...She died." The curses voice rang in his head, the lips on his hand pursed into a frown. "She died, but even then our bond didn't break. Though she surely hates me now." He huffed and though he acted like he didn't care, Yuji could feel his concern, as strange as it was.

Though he could barely wrap his mind around all this, Sukuna still hasn't told him what was wrong with you. "So why are they so upset?"

At that, the mouth on his hand shifted. "They're going through a rut because of the nature of their curse, and they don't want to get you involved. Some ridiculous self-sacrificing act I'm sure." Yuji opened his mouth to ask what he could do, but Sukuna got there first. "It'll pass on it's own, though it won't be pleasant. There is something you could do though, if you can convince them."

He waited, getting impatient for the curse to get to the answer he was looking for.

"If you fuck, the rut will pass after." The blunt answer made his whole face and neck flush a dark red.

It took a minute to process the idea, letting everything sink in. You were ok, thank goodness, but because of your curse who also happens to be the lover - ex-lover? - of Sukuna, you are going through this rut and if you, his crush, fucked him it would pass. It was a lot to take in, so he decided that he'd sleep on it, then go to you tomorrow night. Obviously you didn't want them to know about this, but if there was something he could do, even if he was a little lot nervous to ask, he wanted to do it.

. . .

You couldn't stop thinking about Yuji. Your heart was pounding, and though it has since calmed down you certainly haven't. He was close enough you could see flecks of red in his eyes, close enough that you could've kissed him. You'd wanted to, that was for sure. But you didn't want to ruin your friendship with him, afraid of any number of things.

The two of you had a rocky start; you knew about him, and being Sukuna's vessel, though he had no idea of your existence until you'd met. With only what you knew about Sukuna, both from other sorcerers and your own curse, you were wary of the boy and didn't stick around him long enough to give him a chance to explain. But eventually, with a little help from Gojo, you two made up and became fast friends, the group often having meals together when no one had a mission.

It took awhile for you to realize what your feelings were on Yuji, simply writing it off as a different brand of friendship. It wasn't until yuji nearly died for a second time, and you weren't there to save him; you were so afraid that you'd never get to see him again, never hug him, never make dinner for the others again, laughing about this or that. You realized that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him, and you were afraid you'd miss the chance to tell him.

"You love him." The curse had said. "You're meant for each other. Like soulmates." She'd said, telling you what you were coming to realize yourself.

But you shook your head now, feelings not something you wanted to dwell on as it got later into the night.

Tossing around for a while in the messy sheets on your bed, you finally gave up and threw them off along with a majority of your pajamas, body too hot for comfort. Left in a pair of boxers, you buried your face into your pillow and groaned. Your thoughts drifted for a while between being too hot, sweat still sticking to your skin despite the fan at top speed, and your pink-haired crush.

You've always thought he was attractive, even before you got to know him. His bright smile lighting up any room, an aura of innocence around him. Then his strong physique, though you usually don't see it much between his hoodies and the Jujutsu tech uniform, but man, when you did; you'd like to run your hand over his abs, curious if they feel as strong as they look.

You wanted to touch him in a lot of places, really. His arms, definite muscle, but not too ridiculous like Todo's(Sorry Todo simps). His soft hair, though you've felt it before patting his head, being a bit taller than him and teasing him about it. His thighs, and definitely his ass. And you could only imagine the size of his package.

Biting your lip, you hadn't realized your hand drifting down your body as your thoughts turned, letting out a shaky breath. You'd definitely feel bad about it later, but right now you could only think about your hand being Yuji's as it rubbed against the bulge in your boxers. Flipping onto your back and pulling your underwear to your thighs, you shivered as the cold air hit your skin, sweltering as it was.

Even with your room being fairly soundproof, you kept your voice low, the idea of the object of your thoughts catching you both exciting you and making you anxious. You stroked lazily along the shaft, hips stuttering into your hand the closer to the edge you got. The thought of Yuji crying your name sent you over, dropping your head back as your orgasm washed over you.

After calming your breathing down, you cleaned yourself off. Despite feeling all sweaty, you didn't want to get up. Sighing, you decided you'd shower in the morning after the others left. It didn't take much longer to fall asleep, thankfully.

. . .

You woke up laying half off the bed, even the natural warmth your pile of blankets held getting to be too much during the night. You felt gross. Luckily, you couldn't hear anyone, probably out for lunch, so you could shower in peace.

Leaving your room in just a thin pair of sweatpants and a tank top, your grumbling stomach making your hunger known - you apparently didn't get enough food like you'd thought. You noticed a water bottle beside your door, grinning slightly as you knew who put it there. Shaking your head, you picked it up to bring with you; Yuji would probably try to talk to you when he got back, clearly worried about you. It's cute, but you wished you had a good way to explain your situation without him trying to help.

As much as you would like the idea, you didn't want to make it seem like you just wanted to use him to get through your rut. You wanted him so much more than that, but you couldn't say that, could you.

Quickly grabbing some more snacks, you hid away in your room again, growing tired of your four walls. With your ruts usually lasting around a week, you dreaded having to stay in your room for much longer, but you didn't want to be going on missions in your state.

. . .

The day seemed to go by agonizingly slowly, for the both of you; you in your room with only what you had with you for entertainment, and Yuji waiting anxiously to talk to you. Sukuna had told him earlier that it'd be best to try to talk to you once the others were asleep, as you'd probably be asleep most of the day anyways. That was usually the case, if you could you'd sleep as long as you could to avoid dealing with your body all out of wack.

Finally though, just as you were going to try and go to sleep, a knock sounded at your door. Yuji had to hype himself up to do it, with roundabout encouragement from Sukuna, his thoughts running rampant. 'What if you thought he was weird for asking? What if you got upset with him? What if it ruined your friendship? What if, what if, what if?' He was still fiddling with the hem of his sleeve when you opened your door, a faint look of surprise on your face. You'd started to think you were wrong, that maybe Yuji had forgotten about your interaction the other night or thought he'd dreamed it.

"Hey." You spoke softly, looking him over. He wasn't wearing much, similar to what you had on. He looked good in it.

"H-hey, um, sorry if I woke you, I just kinda wanted to talk?" Yuji smiled, anxiously rubbing the back of his neck.

You sighed, but nodded.

"So, y-you're," he blushed a little more, his cheeks already having been red, thinking about you most of the day - as well as what he planned to ask you. "You're in a rut, right...?"

Eyes widening, you blushed a bit yourself. "How'd you..." Your voice trailed off, confused.

Yuji tapped his cheek, "Sukuna, he told me. So... are you, o-ok?" He still wanted to make sure, even if he knew now what was happening and you confirmed it with your unsaid question.

After a moment, you opened your door wider and nodded your head back. "Y-yeah, just, come in and we can talk." You were careful to sit at the edge of your bed after closing the door behind Yuji. "What all did he tell you?"

"Everything, I think. The rut, the whole lovers thing between them," he gestured between you and himself, "and, um..." He looked away, unable to meet your eyes as he mumbled, just loud enough for you to hear. "The s-sex, thing."

Nodding in turn, you ran a hand back through your hair. "Right. So, why're you here then?" You could apologize for being harsh later, you wanted to make sure you didn't pounce onto him. And fuck the look he makes when he brings his eyes back to yours.

"I wanna help, a-any way I can." His face is completely red, so innocent looking, you bit your lip.

"I appreciate you wanting to help, but I can handle this on my own, Yuji."

You watched as he shuffled closer to you, take a breath and grab one of your hands. He looked into your eyes, so cute.

"Please, I want to help you! S-sukuna told me what it's like when this happens, and if I can help it, I don't want you to have to deal with all that!" Only Yuji could manage to look so sweet and innocent when talking about having you fuck him, even if it was just because of your rut.

He would look even cuter all fucked out, crying for you. You swallowed, looking him over again. You wanted to have your way with him, so badly, but you never wanted to put it on him like that. But... if he's asking you to fuck him. Well, maybe you could have him after all.

"...Are you sure about this, Yuji? I don't want you to do this just for me." But you do, really.

He nods, almost excitedly. To be fair, he'd be lying if he said he hasn't thought about you on top of him, fucking him into the mattress. He wanted you to feel better, and if he got to be with you in the process it was a bonus.

You smirk. "Words, Yuji."

His eyes widen, but he stammers out a soft, "Y-yes."

You bring your free hand to his waist, leaning in a bit closer. "'Yes', what?" Your eyes were darker than usual, clouded with lust, and it made a shiver run down the pink-haired males spine.

"Yes, I- I want to do this."

"Good." You press your lips to his, hungrily running your hand along the contour of his back.

He lets out a little noise as you kiss him, eyes fluttering closed. Fumbling with the hand not holding yours, he finally places it on your shoulder. You could hear his heartbeat, this time sure it was his, though yours was quickly picking up to match it. His lips are so soft, just like the rest of him, a bit of squish to him along with his muscle; you gave in to your wants and felt everything, moving from his back to his arms, down along his chest, squeezing his ass. He yelped at the feeling, and you took the chance to slip your tongue into his mouth.

Submissive through and through, he didn't fight it, but it was clear he didn't quite know what he was doing. But you didn't mind teaching him, spurred on by the little sounds he was making, almost whimpering. Unclasping your hands, he moved his opposite his on your shoulders and you let yours to wander beside the other.

His body was more than you'd imagined, and his sounds were downright sinful. You were just getting started though, pulling his shirt off and pressing not-quite-rough kisses along his jawline and down his neck to his collarbone. You hit a spot that made him whine, and you grinned, kissing and biting there. You could just see his expression from where you sat, pressed into his skin, and it sent heat straight to your core.

Gripping at your back, Yuji pulled you closer, entranced by you. "F-fuck, (y/n)..." His voice was soft, almost shaky as his breath stuttered the longer you nipped at his neck. He tugged at your shirt and you pulled away just long enough to take it off, taking his turn to admire your body.

Leaning forward, you caged your hands around his head, his wrapped around your shoulders. You kissed down his chest, taking off his sweats, surprised to find that he hadn't put any underwear on, and when you looked up at him he had his head turned to the bed.

You hummed, raising a brow at him. "You really wanted to get fucked by me, huh? Ready for me and everything." You lightly traced random shapes on his now bare thighs, watching his cock twitch in response.

Yuji whined, nodding, but kept his face turned away from you. You gripped his chin, turning it back. "Words, remember Yuji?"

He did his best to not just whine again, "Y-yes, yes I want you!"

You just hummed again, "Say it."

This time he did whine, long and drawn out, "Ahh~ I w-want you to f-fuck me! Please!"

You kissed him, muffling his noises, only pulling away when you needed to catch your breath. "Good boy." You didn't give him a chance to respond, wrapping one hand around his length and pressing a finger of the other into his hole. Yuji shuddered, his words cut off by a shaky moan.

It didn't take long before you had three fingers in, with the way he kept begging for more, pawing at your pants. Taking the hint, you stripped down, your own dick mostly untouched now very hard. You look at him, making sure he still wanted this. He nodded, muttering 'please's under his breath between moans.

You kept stroking his weeping cock as you pressed into him, until you bottomed out and you let him rest for a moment and get used to you inside him. He surprised you, rutting his hips into yours as his head dropped against the bed, body quivering under you.

"Fuck, fuck me, fuck me-e p-please!" Yuji whimpered, words punctuated as he grinded against you. You were right, he looked so pretty when he was whimpering and moaning for you.

Something in his voice made whatever restraint you'd been holding onto snap, thrusting into him at a merciless pace, though he didn't seem to mind, moans rising in volume and pitch. His eyes rolled back, and all you could hear besides his moans were broken pleads and your name. You had your head in the crook of his neck, and you growled, going from nips and kisses to biting, leaving large hickeys in your wake.

"I- I'm g-gonna- F-fuuu-uuu-ck-" The loudest moan he'd made throughout the night interrupted him, hips stuttering as he came, painting his stomach white. You came not long after, his body clenching around you so well. You were both panting, at some point Yuji had wrapped his legs around your waist, and you slowed to a stop still inside of him.

You pulled away to make sure he wasn't hurt, and you stopped when you saw tattoos that hadn't been there a moment ago. They must've switched accidentally, if the faintly confused look was anything to go by. But when the curse started bucking his hips, you growled.

"C-come on, I know you can take me too," he taunted, but the effect didn't work as well as he wanted when his voice was so broken and he moaned when you hit that one spot.

You huffed, but you grinned. "Who knew the king of curses was a fucking brat?" Thrusting once to make a point, he shuddered, still full of you. "At least I won't mind if I rough you up a bit."

Sukuna chuckled, sharp nails digging a little more into your shoulders. "You c-couldn't break me if you tried."

With that, you started up that same rough pace, smacking his ass. It was almost strange, not quite muscle memory leading you, moving to make him cry out the most. It was still Yuji's body, but with Sukuna in control, it snapped something into place between both of you.

'Soulmates'. You were brought together like this for a reason.

He kept trying to taunt you, but his words would always break away into a whine when you bit in just the right spot, or you'd smack him a little harder. Finally, he couldn't speak anymore than moan, pulling himself into you as he clawed at your back and shoulders. His voice broke as he came again, nearly crying as you sped up even more as you got close to finishing. You bit into his neck as you came, riding it out, slowing down to a stop for the second time.

"Satisfied now?" You taunt, and he whines.

Slowly pulling out, both of you moaning at the loss, though he was much louder, you relaxed. Yuji switches back after a moment, shuddering at the feeling of your cum leaking out of his hole. You sigh, standing to go run a bath for the both of you, letting Yuji know before he closes his eyes just in case he falls asleep in the meantime. He nods, so you know he heard you.

. . .

You ended up curling up next to each other, wearing some of your clothes, after you pulled off the dirty sheets. As the sunlight streamed through your window, you woke to your arm wrapped around Yuji's side. It was a peaceful scene compared to last night, though you definitely enjoyed yourselves.

"mm... Morning." Yuji looked up at you, a small smile on his lips.

You hum. "Morning. You alright?" He chuckles.

"I should be asking you that. But yeah. 'Lil sore, but yeah."

Nodding, you grin in turn. He probably won't be walking straight for a little while. "Good... Thank you, for helping with- this." You frown a bit, gesturing to yourself. He cups your cheek, waiting for a moment before smiling wider.

"'Course. I wanted you to feel better," he blushes a bit. "Aaand I might've been wanting you to- f-fuck me for a while..." His voice trails off at the end, pulling away nervously. But you pull him closer.

"I'm glad, cause I've been wanting to fuck you for a while too. Probably cause I like you. A lot."

He grins. "Me too."

[septembersummer]

DR September Mistress Daddy, I have a request..! Vamp!Gojo fic pleeeease. Idc what you do with it, just... please, uwu.

VAMP GOJO VAMP GOJO VAMP GOJO VAMP—

Winter: chapter 1

!! 18+ MINORS DNI !!

summary: vamp!gojo x human!reader where y/n is pretty sure her favorite regular is a vampire.

wc: 3k

cw: gojo satoru being intimidating, smut (in future chapters), a coffee shop au lmao, THIS GETS PRETTY DARK IN LATER CHAPTERS

A/N’s: i’m a sucker for twilight vampire shit and thus this is gonna be more than a one shot. hope y’all don’t mind lmao

links: Ao3, Hijiki’s Tumblr (my illustrator), discord (18+)

request/ask me anything hehe

The devil isn’t a big, scarred man in a trench coat waiting in a dark alley to steal you away, to corrupt you. He isn’t the subject of your grandparents’ fears, tattooed and pierced through every hole with a cigarette in his mouth. He isn’t mean, he isn’t cruel.

Not at first.

He doesn’t scare you, isn’t intimidating in any way that you dislike. He’s talkative, energetic, and a bit too flirty.

The devil smiles.

He smiles beautifully with rows of gleaming, white teeth the entire time he talks to you. Only a couple of them are sharper than they should be.

He’s charming, disarms you with ease, leaves you vulnerable and worse than that, comfortable in your vulnerability with him.

He comes to your coffee shop almost every morning for six months, and you get used to him as the seasons change, and he doesn’t.

He orders the worst fucking drinks you’ve ever heard of, and he grins at you while you struggle to fit that many shots of espresso in one cup, along with the horrific amount of cream and sugar that he likes.

He seems to get off on making you struggle, in a fun way that makes him your favorite regular customer.

And you’re pretty sure that his kind doesn’t even like coffee, so you used to be suspicious as to why he’s always here, but you’ve resigned yourself to thinking that he might just like the company, or that he might just like harassing you when he’s bored.

When you live that long, you’re sure to get bored eventually, right?

He’s just bored– it’s better than… any other alternative that would explain his presence here every day.

As the white-haired monster of a man with the god-awful coffee orders comes into your shop before the sun’s risen on the coldest day of Winter, you remember the way you felt the first time you ever saw him.

He looks like the season, like he was born from snow, carved out of ice and tossed into your lap to deal with.

Maybe he was– you’re not sure how their kind operates, in that regard. But you are certain of one thing, as he comes to the counter, grinning and staring at you through sunglasses that are far too dark for any normal person to reasonably be able to see through.

He’s no normal person at all, nothing close. This man is a vampire, you’re almost certain.

“Hey, sweets,” he says, smirking, always coming up with a new pet name for you when he sees you, “long time no see.”

You aren’t sure if he’s the first vampire you’ve ever met before. They’re rare in society these days, and most of them blend in well, after many of their kind opted not to produce any offspring in hopes of letting humanity flourish.

It was an apology for the way that humans were treated before the two species came to a tentative truce, like pets, sentient blood bags— the bottom of the food chain.

You wonder if this man was there for it, because if you’ve ever met a person that could be a vampire as old as time itself, it’s him.

“Mhm,” you hum in response with a small eyeroll, knowing damn well that you saw him yesterday. He’s so smiley, warm and kind, easygoing.

“And what would you like to torture me with today, Gojo?” You ask, leaning over the wooden counter in his direction.

His eyes crinkle when he smiles at you. Beautiful as always.

Other people treat him differently than you do. You’ve seen it on the days that he opts to come in later in the morning when he isn’t your only customer.

They can see it as plainly as you can, the otherness about him, and it makes them afraid of him. Openly, at that, not that he ever seems to mind when normal people move away from him with barely concealed fear in their eyes.

His only grins wider. He doesn’t have a care in the world for the way that ruddy-faced, warm-blooded people like you see him.

It’s not like he can hide what he is, nor tries to. His snowy white hair always looks perfectly messy, skin like unblemished porcelain, and if they saw his eyes– they’d faint. Try as you might, you’ve never seen the fangs.

You’ve only seen glimpses of the eyes when he looks at you over the rim of his sunglasses suggestively, usually when you follow a ludicrous order especially well, but they’re so far from human. His eyelashes match his hair, perfectly white with a silvery tinge to them, but his eyes– they’re something else entirely.

“Just an iced white mocha,” he says, and his grin grows wider, wider, “extra sweet, add a little raspberry for me.”

You cock your head to the side, “That’s it? Where are the fifteen shots of espresso and hot-cold foam?”

He’s really asked you for that before, and you’ve become accustomed to your daily challenge from him. You’re pretty sure that he doesn’t even drink them, that he just takes a sip to placate you and then goes about his day, whatever he does.

It’s more like he’s just… testing you , toying with you . And for what reason? You’ll probably never know. You know nothing about him as it is.

Only his last name, and that he likes to tease.

“I don’t want anything serious today, babe,” he replies flirtatiously, the way he always does, leaning back in his chair lazily, spreading out his long legs on either side of himself.

You hum and start making a suspiciously normal raspberry white mocha, “You sick or something? I’m almost disappointed.”

Do vampires get sick? You don’t know. You won’t ask.

He chuckles, “Nah, just thought I’d give you a break for once. You’ve been good for months.”

You want to bristle at his phrasing, but you don’t show it.

It’s snowing outside, though it feels like he’s brought the Winter inside with him this time. You shiver slightly, as it feels like there’s a cold chill following you, but you ignore it like you usually do when he’s here alone with you.

When he enters the coffee shop, it feels ten times smaller, and about three times colder. It’s worse when you’re alone with him than if you’re with others, but you aren’t afraid of him in that regard.

Because, despite yourself and your best interests, you’ve become comfortable in the vulnerability of being alone here with him when it’s still dark out so early in the morning.

He’s here every day, he’s not going to do anything today that he couldn’t have done yesterday, the day before that.

And yet the human part of you feels… a little off this morning.

“It’s cold today,” you murmur, looking out the big glass windows at the front of the cafe to watch the snowfall through the warm lighting provided by the street lamp outside.

It’s still dark out, but it always is when he comes here. He still wears those small, round-rimmed sunglasses even before the sun’s risen.

Again, he doesn’t even try to hide what he is.

“Really? Didn’t notice,” he says, looking out at the snow as if it’s never occurred to him that you’d feel the cold.

He’s dressed in a black turtleneck underneath a long coat, with a silver chain around his neck. From the chain dangles a cross, almost as if to taunt you. Always dressed warmly, never seems cold.

Vampire.

You snort, “You don’t even try to hide it, huh?”

It’s the first time you’ve brought up what you both know is true. Months have passed, seasons have changed, and you’ve never acknowledged it.

But with his flirting, his jokes, his lax, carefree demeanor, you’re comfortable with him.

Maybe a little too comfortable.

“Hide what?” He murmurs playfully, and you startle out of your fucking skin.

You never saw him move, never saw him blink, but his words ghost across your earlobe, making goosebumps prickle up all over your skin.

He is warm, apparently, and you can feel said warmth radiating off his chest because he’s caging you against the counter, an arm on either side of your much smaller frame.

“What are you— G-Gojo,” you huff, trying to disguise the way your breaths fall much faster, that your heart is pounding in your chest.

He doesn’t let you move from his grasp, as you realize just how tall he is. He’s the tallest man you’ve ever met, could easily rest his chin on the top of your head, and he’d probably have to bend down to do so.

“Go on, don’t be shy,” he hums flirtatiously, “tell me what you think I am.”

He toys with a strand of your hair, looping it around his finger before letting it fall across your face. Your cheeks feel hot, and you feel bothered.

“N-Nothing,” you splutter out, suddenly nervous at this sort of teasing, “can you– go back to your side, please.”

“No.”

“Gojo,” you complain, turning around to face him, a mistake.

“Satoru,” he corrects you smoothly, now mere inches from your lips when he speaks.

He’s leaning over you, horrifyingly close, as the espresso machine finishes its job behind you rather noisily. He smells amazing, so much better than the coffee, as his eyes peer down into yours.

It’s the first time you’ve seen them without his glasses, now that he’s gone so far as to cross the forbidden boundary between the two of you.

As stupid as it seems, the little counter dividing the two of you had made you feel safe with him . It was a line that he never crossed until you crossed some forbidden line with him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean… anything,” you mumble, staring into eyes that look like they’re made of starlight and the sea, trembling.

They’re a lot better up close, a lot brighter. You feel vaguely hypnotized by him when you stare into the glacial orbs lined with thick, white lashes. Any animal planet documentary would tell you that something isn’t that beautifully colorful unless it’s deadly.

Too beautiful, too perfect, not human, and too close.

Those are all the things that he is. What Gojo isn’t is relenting.

“That’s alright, babe,” he purrs, stroking your hair, petting you, as he seems to fix his mask of aloof coolness in an instant, “just don’t make accusations like that unless you really mean it, yeah? Could be dangerous for you if it was someone other than me.”

Threatening, still grinning like a cheshire cat, though he’s a bit more reptilian up close.

“I-I didn’t mean anything. Is that— Are you threatening me?” You ask nervously, pretending it’s a joke.

It’s not.

Of course it’s a threat, and of course you’re a fucking idiot for thinking that just because this vampire’s been nice to you for months means that you’re friends.

You two are friends as much as a panther can be friends with a deer when it’s waiting for a kill, stalking it from a treetop for months, and months, and months. The panther knows its place at the top of the food chain, you’re the one that forgot your own.

“Call me Satoru,” he demands with a slight glare in your direction, rather unkind now that you’ve failed to follow his instructions, “and not unless it needs to be.”

He winks at you once in your silence, smirking, before he walks back over to the other side of the counter with his hands in his pockets.

“Keep the coffee for yourself. I know you like those.”

“Satoru– I-“

He gives you a grin and fixes his little sunglasses back on his face, but for a second when you catch a glimpse of his eyes, you could swear that they aren’t shockingly, magnificently blue anymore.

No, they’re red. Bright, vivid rubies, even more beautiful than when they’re cerulean. You don’t comment on it, you don’t say a word.

You tremble, and you take a sip of the mocha that he had you make for yourself, because it’s your favorite, and because you need to stop staring and stuttering.

He watches your lips, rewarding you with a heated glance when you listen to him well, the way that he likes. It makes you feel warm to your core, despite the fear you now feel towards him.

He really shouldn’t know what your favorite drink is, you’ve never told him, but he does.

You wish that the devil was a little more visible amongst a crowd, or that he could at least have the decency to behave like it, rather than befriend you until you’re complacent, perfectly cozy with him for whenever he decides to sink his teeth into your flesh.

You shiver once. It feels like there’s another cold draft in the room, small as it is.

Gojo gives an arrogant chuckle in your direction, “I’ll see ya later, babe.”

When he leaves, the room feels ten times larger, and your knees almost buckle.

[mishasminions]

The Last Time I’ll Write a Long Post About Supernatural (15x18-15x20)

15 YEARS OF WATCHING THIS SHOW. 11 YEARS OF RUNNING A BLOG ABOUT IT. IT’S BEEN QUITE A RIDE.

[15x20 Speculation + evidence at the bottom]

First off, I just wanna come clean and say, after all these years, I still think they should’ve ended at Season 5.

If you’re going to come at me with “Then why’d you stick around to watch it if you didn’t like it?”, your question is immature, and the answer is simple: I just want to know what happens next (I also love the main characters and their actors too). You can watch a show and still think it’s shit.

Call me a clown, but despite all the disappointment and trust issues that this show has given me, I would still look forward to the day where it might just turn itself around and bring back the quality it once had, or realize the potential of each story it was trying to tell, or at the very least, do justice by my favorite ship.

Never happened.

They’ve had a few good episodes here and there. I can’t imagine the SPN Universe without The Man Who Would Be King, The French Mistake, and Scoobynatural. Seasons 6-10 were enjoyable at times. I blocked out most of 7 & 11-15. 

If you’ve been following this blog since its heydays in 2010-2014, you’d know I’d try my best to defend Destiel and this show’s decisions regarding it no matter what.

Because you know what, as a CONCEPT, this show is good. If you take a look at all the worlds its storylines have birthed in fanfiction/fanworks, you’d see how much Supernatural has wasted its own story arcs. The writing got shittier as each season progressed, and they’ve obviously given up in production as well because the quality in the execution has noticeably gone down too, but if you take a step back and take a look at the bigger picture, you’ll see that this show still tries to make sense of itself.

[If you’re still following this post, please bear with me, I know this is long, but I just want you to understand how jaded and pessimistic I am with regards to this show, so maybe you can buy into whatever hopeful thing I’m about to say later on.]

SO LET’S TALK ABOUT DESTIEL

Never in my wildest dreams did I think that they would give us Castiel’s “I love you” speech. To the point where, if I weren’t so desperate for it, I would argue that it was completely out of character for him to word vomit the way he did (but I’m not gonna diss on that right now because I’ll take what I can get).

I’ve valued every meaningful and obscure exchange that Dean and Cas have had in the earlier seasons, and I was willing to accept their relationship as just that--undefined, without any clear boundaries as to what they really are. And I think that was beautiful on its own.

But now, they’ve chosen to define it.

After they’ve driven every possible wedge between Dean and Castiel in seasons 11-15, to try to explain away their feelings as something they offer to a collective.

Dean can’t mourn and pray for JUST Cas, he has to mourn and pray for EVERYBODY--even Crowley, even some chick he just met, because god forbid he cries about just the guy who has given up everything for him--that would be “too homo”.

They’ve even set Cas on a path to abrupt fatherhood just so he can care about something other than Dean. Make it seem as if Dean wasn’t his purpose through and through.

And after all these years of this stupid show trying to deny it, they choose to acknowledge it at the worst possible circumstance, at a time where they’ve been so far apart, that it seems so foreign for them to suddenly come together.

But here we are. And they’ve chosen to tell us.

Chosen to tell us that everything that Castiel has done leading up to his death, he has done it because he was IN LOVE WITH DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that the ONE THING THAT WOULD MAKE CAS HAPPY IS DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that BEING WITH DEAN WINCHESTER is something that CAS WANTS BUT KNOWS HE CAN’T HAVE.

And they’ve also chosen to tell us nothing about how Dean feels.

Sure, finding out your angel made a deal, the stipulations of said deal, his newfound happiness philosophy, his long-winded monologue of why he loves you and why you’re worthy of his love, and to top it all off he tells you that being in love with you is enough to make him happy while he subtly hints that he’s always wanted to be WITH you romantically, was a lot to process in the 5 minutes after you’ve just had an existential crisis.

It’s whatever, right? Let’s culminate 11 years worth of tension and feelings in 5 minutes. Let’s waste the entire episode with cringey expository dialogue, and irrelevant sequences. The whole season was a waste anyway.

You know what Supernatural? FUCK YOU FOR THAT. They deserved better. WE deserve better.

And I would love nothing more than to hurl every possible insult your way,

But for the last time, I’m going to HOPE that you’re finally going to try to make it better for the fans that stuck by you all these years.

No more baiting new viewers, no more placating casual viewers, no more excuses. 15 years. Bring it home for the people who have actually been around.

SO HERE’S HOW I THINK 15x20 IS GONNA GO

There’s two ways this series is gonna end. Horribly or Spectacularly.

First let’s all take into consideration what Andrew Dabb says about it:

So, let’s start with

ENDING HORRIBLY

In this scenario, Misha is telling the truth about his last day of filming being 15x18. His “camping trip” during the last few days of filming 15x20, was actually a camping trip. He doesn’t go to Vancouver to shoot.

Jensen wasn’t “being careful” during the zoom interviews that it was just him and Jared quarantining for the shoot, it really was just him and Jared (althought most of these were done pre 15x19) Supernatural isn’t smart enough to do misleading PR, and they’re once again oblivious to the potential of their own story.

Misha hasn’t posted a “Goodbye Castiel” tweet because he’s probably saving it for last episode or he forgot because it was overshadowed by the Destiel trend that night.

So what we get is:

Sam and Dean are on the road again, up against the monster of the week. Only their world no longer has actual Supernatural beings anymore, so the monsters they’re fighting are humans.

Humans end up killing the Winchesters (despite having gone up against literally every powerful being imaginable INCLUDING God himself). Dean and Sam end up in heaven and relive their greatest hits.

Meanwhile, Castiel rots in The Empty because he died after realizing that he was happy and gay. Jack doesn’t bother rescuing him—his surrogate dad, the guy who made this specific deal to spare him—even though it was so easy for him get Cas in and out of The Empty when he had a fraction of the power that he has now.

Dean never speaks of Castiel’s confession because despite all the hints of a profound bond in the earlier seasons, and the fact that Dean has never cared for anyone (who isn’t his actual brother) as immensely as he does Cas, Supernatural just can’t have its main macho character be “suddenly bisexual” because that would hurt the male ego or some shit.

His heaven would probably be living happily ever after with his family. “Family” meaning Mary and John Winchester--two of the shittiest parents ever (but they’re not going to include them in this episode like they were supposed to because of Covid) and Sam.

Sam also gets a dog. As usual.

I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to do this. After everything they’ve pulled, this would be right up their alley. I actually expect this ending.

Anyway, onto the next possible ending

ENDING SPECTACULARLY

In this scenario, Supernatural tries to stick the landing, and Jensen’s whole “It didn’t sit well with me at first, but then I took a step back after talking to Kripke, and realized that I had to view it from an audience perspective, I am now really excited about it” (DC Con 2019) anecdote about his thoughts on the final episodes, were actually about Dean potentially ending up with Cas. (Which would totally make sense because Jensen at first didn’t see Dean as anything but hetero, but as of late, he has been throwing in Destiel jokes of his own, so he seems to have warmed up to the idea)

Backed with Misha’s tidbit (DLConline 2020) that he and Jensen had conversations about Destiel, and that they wouldn’t have gone through with it if Jensen wasn’t onboard with it, but Jensen didn’t push back at all. (Why would they need to check with Jensen if it was just Cas going all in?)

Robert Berens (writer of 15x18) also wrote the script at the beginning of Season 15, but made Misha privy to the concept a year prior (Season 14), so they went into this season knowing about Destiel going canon.

This one’s a reach, but this scenario also supposes that Misha was lying about his whereabouts during the filming of the final episode, and him saying that 15x18 was his last episode is part of the diversion to avoid taking away from the weight of Castiel’s death.

And that Supernatural is actually self-aware of its own material (similar to how they have wrapped things up in the past—lots of expository dialogue, poor execution, but fulfills the story arc)

Since Season 15 is basically a Meta Season (Chuck/God as a writer, pretentiously calling out how he created the worlds, its characters, and basically invalidating the past 14 seasons), and 15x19 is supposedly the finale for Season 15, written by two of the worst Supernatural writers, Brad Buckner and Eugenie Ross-Leming (Bob Singer’s wife), then we can assume that 15x19 is where the shitty writers kill themselves--as Chuck, of course.

So we get a badly written episode that produces a bad ending, or as Becky put it, “All action, and no Cas”

So we get the bad writers season ending at 15x19.

And 15x20 is where Sam and Dean write their own stories, and where the cast had a hand in pitching ideas for it.

Dabb has mentioned that 15x20 (Act Two) is a SERIES finale, where they try to resolve the characters’ journeys.

Because as everyone has acknowledged, Supernatural isn’t about the story, it’s about the characters.

So here’s what we can get out of it:

With no more Supernatural beings left to fight, Sam and Dean are in a stalemate. They’ve resigned themselves to fighting to the bitter end, but the “end” has passed, and they’re still standing.

So they try to figure out who they are now, and what they want out of the life they still have.

Sam still wants a normal apple pie life. Before Dean dragged him out of college to go hunting with him, he had a whole life planned out for him. Become a lawyer, settle down with a nice girl, and get a dog. He gave all that up because they had work to do, but now the work is finished, he can finally go back to wanting that for himself again.

Dean finally realizes his self-worth after Cas saves him again. His prayer to Cas in purgatory may have helped him come to terms with his anger, but the whole “you’ve done everything you did for love” speech finally put him in his place, and he learns not to hate himself anymore.

But of course, he cannot fully reconcile with himself if he doesn’t get Cas back, and tell him how he feels.

Because Dean actually wants something for himself this time. Something he knows he can finally have if he can just salvage it.

So maybe this time around, with the help of Jack (off-screen), Dean saves Cas. Grips him tight and raises him from perdition.

They bypass The Empty deal by turning Cas human, and he lives the rest of his days with Dean.

Dean and Cas know they deserve to be saved, and they know that they deserve to be happy.

(Wishful thinking, maybe they kiss a little)

Anyway...

I’m just saying, there’s NO WAY that they’d have Cas go through that whole rushed speech, if they weren’t going to do anything about it later on.

But again, after 10 years of disappointment, I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to pat themselves on the back and say, “Okay, we sort of gave them what they wanted. We’re good now”

If that’s the case, Supernatural, I’m sorry I wasted my time on you.

Here’s to hoping 🤡

[insiderengokushaori]

You aren’t sure what it is about him.

By all means, you’ve met plenty of men more attractive, more stable, more around.

But no one you’ve ever met has been more than Rengoku Kyojuro. His presence is almost like a drug. You can’t get enough of him when he’s here, and when he’s away on his trips, the only thing on your mind is when you’ll get to see him again. Nothing has offered you more than his smile, his warmth, and his heart. The adoration in his voice when he says your name. The way his features soften when his eyes land on any part of you. The security his presence provides. You love him.

He knows this, and he loves you too. So much that it causes his chest to ache. He will never allow either of you to say those words out loud.

The only thing Rengoku Kyojuro hasn’t offered you is assurance.

From the moment his eyes landed on you, blood splattered on the side of your face, chest heaving, eyes wide in horror and disgust, he knew that he would do anything for you. Rescue you as many times as he needed; though determined to make that just that once.

The bite wound in your shoulder and the clean gashes to your achilles tendons, and the large puncture wound in your thigh served to fuel his desire to see you safe, warm and whole. To return to your smile. You’d become his driving force. The way you pressed your trembling hands against your leg to staunch the bleeding, the determination lurking just behind the fear to stay conscious, to survive, the way you’d slumped against him when he defeated the demon. The way your eyes lit up when, whole and healthy again, you thanked him for saving your life.

Saying it out loud would be the driving force to your loss of him, or his loss of you. He refuses to let that happen.

Thoughts of retiring early so he can spend his days with you float around his mind in early mornings, so he expresses them with gentle kisses to your cheeks before he leaves. Guilt follows these thoughts not long after. He knows his silence on the matter hurts you, and the thought of causing you pain, being the one to make your face twist in such a terrible way makes him feel sick.

The gold lighting of early dawn casts you in a beautiful glow as you sleep, and though he knows he has to get ready to go, he can’t help but watch you with soft eyes, brushing hair out of your face with his calloused hands.

You stir, then, and he pauses, leaning forward to press his lips against your forehead when your eyes flutter open. You hum sleepily, shifting to nuzzle closer to him.

He wraps an arm around you briefly before sitting up with a deep sigh and standing, changing into his uniform. You watch him from the futon, your brow furrowing.

“You have to leave this early?”

“My mission is quite a distance away,” He replies, buttoning the shirt down. You sit up, shaking hair out of your face. “Oh, stay in bed, dear one. You don’t have to get up early because of me.”

“Would you have let me say goodbye if I hadn’t woken up?”

He starts to say something about letting you sleep before noticing the look of sadness that briefly crosses your features, and sighs. “I know I told you that Goodbye was the only thing I could promise you. And I know you expect me to keep my promises, but I can’t lie. I would have let you sleep.”

He tightens his belt, fastening the buckle, and sits back down next to you on the futon so he can put his tabi on. The silence is a little more than uncomfortable, and when he’s situated he leans back on his hands and turns to look at you directly.

“I expect you to keep your promises too. Please follow the rules while I’m gone.”

“I know. Be inside an hour before dusk. Don’t leave town. Burn Wisteria incense at all hours.”

“Don’t let anyone in that isn’t my father, my brother, or my fellow Hashira.”

“I know.”

“It’s-”

“-Just because you can’t keep me safe when you’re gone,” You finish, giving him a tight smile. He nods, placing a hand on top of yours and grasping it.

“I do it to keep you safe. And I’ll continue to ask that of you. Losing you would be the worst thing. I hate causing you pain. I hate to see your face so dismal. There’s plenty to do here.”

“What if this time is the time that waiting for you to come back turns into a lifetime. What if I never see you again. Kyojuro, I’m so tired of our only promise being goodbye. I’m so tired of my feelings going on unspoken. If this goodbye is permanent, If I never see you again, I’ll wait for you for the rest of my life. I’ll never be able to let go of something as unfinished as this.”

His brow furrows, and he closes his eyes and nods, squeezing your hand.

“I understand. And you know I do everything because of those feelings. I’m strict about those rules because of those feelings. I refuse to make promises I can’t keep because of those feelings. We both know how we feel about the other, but-”

“God Damn it, Kyojuro, just say it!” You yell, wrenching your hand from his grasp. He watches you with wide eyes as you stand, near tears, and ball your fists up. “I’m tired of skirting around it! If- if goodbye is it today, I won’t be here if or when you get back. I need you to say it for me. Even just once. Just once.”

In the blink of an eye, he’s standing, and his arms are tight around you as he brings your head against his chest.

“I will never let you go, dear one. We belong to each other. You’ve made many, many compromises for me. Giving up your life and your work. Moving to my estate. Following my rules-”

“Call them what they are,” You respond thickly. “They’re sacrifices. Sacrifices I made for a man who won’t admit out loud that he loves me. For a man that puts his all into every other thing he does and feels except me. A man who is more than everything and everyone to me and still not enough. I sacrificed everything for you.”

“Are you not happy?”

“No, I’ve never been happier,” Tears really threaten to fall now, so you grip the fabric at his sides tightly and swallow. He rocks you gently, sighing.

“Neither have I.”

“I love you.” You back away, keeping his gaze even as your lower lip wobbles. His eyes flash, his expression unreadable for only a moment before a gentle smile lights up on his face.

“I know you do.”

“Say it back.”

“You know I do, too, dear one,” He starts, grabbing his sword off the wall and securing it to his side. You watch him, hurt, for a moment, shaking your head and crawling back into the futon’s covers, facing away from him. He finishes getting ready, kneeling down next to your head and leaning over to kiss your temple and rest his chin on your head. “I am incredibly undeserving of your love. I have made you sacrifice near everything for me, because I can’t bear to see you hurt or to live without you for even a second for the rest of my life. Knowing I could be leaving you alone, knowing there’s no guarantee that I’ll make it back makes me strive even harder to. I can’t say it back because I don’t deserve to hear the words from you in the first place. Because instead of being sacrificial I’m being selfish.”

He brushes your hair back with his hand, his calloused palm grazing your cheek. “But you’re right. We are both wonderfully human creatures, and life threatening job or not, mortality is a fact of life. So if this goodbye is our final, Then I’m going to step up and give it my all just as you suggest.”

Ever so gently, with a soft call of your name, he turns your head and presses his lips firmly to yours. A few soft, open mouthed kisses later, he hums contentedly, moving to kiss your cheek. His lips move across your skin with a feather light touch.

“I love you with everything, my darling. You have my whole heart.” He brushes his lips against your forehead one final time, pulling away and standing. “Goodbye.”

“Be careful,” You sit up, calling after him as he goes. You’re met with silence.

In your right mind, you know you shouldn’t offer the man who merely saved your life everything you have to offer. The thought of going back to your life before is fleeting in your mind as you lie back down and burrow under the covers. But you also know it’s true that if he lost you in any capacity his flame would flare and burn out in his reckless dive to move on.

Rengoku Kyojuro has staked his survival solely on you, and you both know what an unfair burden it is for you to bear. You both know that that weight will eventually break you, and that regardless, you can’t let go.

Because despite your sacrifices, you love him wholly, and that’s all he’s ever wanted.

[yourtamaki]

the wanderer’s lodestone

dabi x f!reader

word count: 3.6k

warnings: violence, detail of injury, murder, morally grey reader, dry humping, mutual masturbation, oral (m receiving), angst ending

if there was one thing dabi has learned over the years, it was that people always fell in one of two categories. there were those who would meet his gaze and those who avoided it. he’s not sure which is worse. the brave ones and their wide eyes, always staring at his marred skin with such sick fascination it made his palms itch in the worst way. or the spineless bastards whose eyes stayed glued to the ground when he walked past only to gawk at him like a sideshow freak when they thought he wasn’t looking.

two sides of the same judgemental coin, all part of the same corrupt society that preaches love until someone doesn’t fit their mold. it was getting harder to differentiate between them and at some point he stopped trying all together. what did it matter if he couldn’t remember how it felt to be regarded like a human being? he didn’t need to be human to carry out his vengeance, he only needed to be alive. 

that changed when he met you. 

it wasn’t his cleanest break-in but he couldn’t care less, too busy focused on not passing out from blood loss. it was shit luck that the alley he had chosen to rest in was part of a new hero’s patrol route. the kid was clearly scared out of his mind when he realized dabi wasn’t just another thug on the streets, his pale face illuminated in the night by blue flame. it was a shame, for a rookie the kid had talent with his dagger quirk, being able to throw and call them back at will, even change their trajectory midair. he could’ve made it far in the ranks. 

dabi wondered if they’d bury him with his daggers, scorched bones and all. 

it wasn’t his problem anymore. all he cared about was finding something clean to wrap the nasty cut on his abdomen. there was no special reason he chose your bedroom window to climb through. it was the first apartment with a fire escape he stumbled upon just far enough away from the ashes of the pro hero that he wouldn’t have to worry about being followed. your dim window was the first he reached and it didn���t take much effort to jam a knife between the glass and the lock to force it open. he thought the place might be empty for the night when he stepped inside and heard no signs of life. he got to work tearing the bedsheets in long strips and was nearly done when you walked in. 

there were people who met his gaze and there were people who avoided it. you were neither. 

you saw him. 

even in near darkness, your eyes found his and didn’t flinch at the monster that stared back. the room stayed silent as you seized each other up save the drops of blood that slipped past where he held his wound shut and splattered on the floor. 

“could you not rip my sheets up?” 

your voice was enough to startle him from his initial shock, twirling the knife once before going back to cutting up the fabric. “i need them more than you do. i’ll be gone in a minute, scream and i’ll kill you.” 

you scoffed but didn't reply, walking across the room and flipping the light on in a bathroom he hadn’t seen earlier. a wave of irritation washed over him as he watched you rummage through drawers. who would turn their back to someone who broke into their home? did you have no self preservation? 

you walked back, tossing several things onto the bed before making your way back deeper into the apartment. “close the window on your way out.” 

and with that you’re gone. a part of him wanted to chase you, to tie up the loose end but the memory of your eyes kept him frozen in place. the thought of those same eyes looking at him with fear made his gut twist and he didn’t understand why. he grabbed whatever you tossed at him, the few strips he’d managed to make and left the way he came. it’s not until he’s found an empty alley to rest in did he inspect the items. ace bandages, an entire bottle of hydrogen peroxide, fish wire and a sewing needle. 

your kindness tasted like pity and acid. he couldn’t convince himself to spit it out even as it burned a hole straight through his tongue. 

dabi hated you and he etched that hatred into his skin, stitch by painful stitch. hated you for reminding him that he had yet to purge the weakness from his soul. the same weakness that forced him to walk past your apartment over the next few weeks. it was stupid to stick around in the city for so long, especially after killing that hero. he told himself it was to make sure you’d upped your security since he’d tumbled into your home but it sounded the excuse rang hollow with no one to hear the lie. 

it became such a mindless part of his routine it took him a moment to realize one night that your window had been shattered open. his throat tightened almost painfully, your eyes flashed in his mind and he was flying up the fire escape a moment later. 

a lean figure was pulling open drawers when the sound of dabi stepping on broken glass made him whip around. it’s a pain, not being able to turn the man into fuel for his ever hungry flames but he didn’t think you’d appreciate him saving your house just to burn it down. 

the man’s movements were clumsy and uncoordinated, taking desperate swings that left him wide open for dabi to sneak under his defences. he’d just managed to grapple the intruder into a chokehold when the bedroom door creaked open and both men’s attention snapped to you. 

“you done yet?” you asked and dabi had to force himself to speak under the full weight of your gaze.

“were you here the whole time?” you nodded, acting far too casual for his liking. “why the fuck didn’t call the cops or something?” 

“i figured you’d show up.” you cocked your head at the incredulous look he threw you. “what, you thought i didn’t notice you coming around all the time?” 

he clicked his teeth in annoyance. “well, what do you want to do with him then, sweetheart?” 

it was a test and it was clear you knew it, glancing down at the intruder that had started weakly clawing at his arm. dabi would kill the man regardless of what you said but your answer would speak volumes on where you stood in this society rotted by false gods. 

“i don’t care what you do, just dump the body far from here.” you didn’t blink once as you sentenced the man to death, didn’t blink as dabi shifted his hold and the echo of a snapped neck rang out in the room. you held steady and a begrudging respect rose up in him.

he heaved the man over his shoulder, being mindful to keep the head hidden from your line of sight. you’d already passed his test, there was no need for you to see it any longer then he’d already made you. he just had to know if you were putting on a front or not. if you were, it would’ve been all the more likely for you to put in a tip about a certain villain that lurked around your neighbourhood. 

but instead you had held his gaze, didn’t look at him any differently and dabi didn’t want to know why he felt so relieved for it. 

he honoured your request, carrying the body through back alleys and shadows to the very edge of the city. his thoughts wandered, as they always seemed to where you’re considered, wondering how soon he could see you again while he watched the flames climb high into the night sky. 

“a tarp? seriously?” he’d lasted two full nights before his feet led him back to your fire escape and the brand new thick tarp that covered the missing window. you were in bed this time, reading a book the title of which he couldn’t make out with the dim light from your bedside lamp, not even bothering to look his way as he made himself comfortable on the window sill. 

“shitty landlord is taking his sweet time replacing the glass so yeah. tarp.” 

“you should move. i hear there’s a lot of break-ins going on around here.” he didn’t like how much your huff of laughter to his poor attempt at humour felt like a reward. 

“not all of us can afford to live in the hero sectors, you know?” 

the venom in your voice when you mentioned the hero sector caught him off guard. they’re one of the more subtle forms of corruption present in all cities with a hero presence. living in the hero sectors ensures one’s total safety from any threat. from robberies to natural disasters, a hero’s priority is focused on the rich who can afford the protection. no hero will ever admit to it, though. on paper, the sectors don’t exist. and yet the heroes flock to the same handful of neighbourhoods the moment a threat occurs. another underhand tactic to keep the poor in their place and the rich comfortable. 

you’ve become that much more interesting in his eyes.

“so, you here to bleed all over my sheets again or what?” 

dabi scoffed, “no, but i was hoping you could take these stitches out and we’ll call it even for saving your ass.” he could rip them out himself but where was the fun in that?

“yeah right. who saved who first?” despite your grumbling you waved dabi over, gesturing for him to sit on the bed while you went off to grab supplies from the bathroom. 

he expected you to pull up a chair once you returned but instead you placed a hand on his chest and pushed him onto his back. it took all his concentration not to flinch when you straddled him, your hand trailing under his shirt, fingertips grazing his burnt flesh as you pulled his shirt up, bundling the material and forcing it into his mouth. 

“you might wanna bite down on that, i’m all out of painkillers.” 

there was a gentleness in how you cut the stitches from his body, how you took care to dab an alcohol soaked cotton pad over each one. it made his chest go tight, unable to recall ever being this close to someone and not walking away with new scars. 

dabi found himself lulled into a trance by the rhythm of your hands, a trance that shattered as your fingertips strayed from the path of the cut, following the rows upon rows of staples that held him together instead. he watched your face closely, waiting for the disgust and horror to swim to the surface but your eyes kept the steadiness they always seemed to have. 

“does it hurt?” you whispered. 

he wanted to tell you that it didn’t hurt, not in the way you thought it did. that the nerves beneath his burnt and darkened flesh had died long ago and he couldn’t even feel the patterns you were now tracing on his stomach. it’s the unblemished skin that hurts, that always hurts. the parts of him that still cling to life. 

the human brain processes pain differently than any other stimulation it feels. pain never dulls, never vanishes no matter how long it lasts. every waking moment, his own mind tortures him with fresh waves of pain and never lets him forget the countless staples that pierce his flesh and tear him open everytime he moves. 

there’s so much he could tell you but the words refused to come out, burning up in his throat and leaving him choking on the ash. 

you didn’t push when no answer came, prying his shirt from his clenched teeth and pulling it back into place. “you’re good to go, stranger.” 

his hands that had been clenched by his sides twitched when you started to move away from him and judging by the tilt of your head, it didn’t escape your notice. you settled back over him and this time he couldn’t stop his hands from gripping onto your waist, trying to stop you from shifting.

“stop that.” he said through gritted teeth.

you gave another roll of your hips and smirked when his fingers dug deeper into your sides, “stop what?”

“you’re a fucking menace, you know that?”

“yeah. but you like it.”

he hated that you were right. but he’d be damned if he gave you the satisfaction of seeing him lose it from a little grinding. he used his hold on you to push you back slightly, spreading his legs even further until you were straddling his thigh instead. syrupy smugness filled his veins seeing you flustered for the first time since he’s met you.

“go on, don’t get shy on me now.” you were quick to shake off any reservations, growling at his teasing tone and grinding down on his thigh with a desperation that sent a thrill down his spine. “just like that, make yourself feel good.”

he couldn’t wrap his head around how right this felt. there should have been a moment of hesitation from either of you as you walked hand in hand over a line you’d have no way of crossing back over but instead you melted into each other, all his senses heightened and flooded with you, you, you. 

he was so focused on memorizing every minute expression that crossed your face he didn’t realize you were asking for help until you moved his hands from your waist to your ass. he was more than happy to take over, setting a brutal pace that had you crying out, bunching his shirt up in your fists to try to stay grounded.

“c’mon baby, let go.”

you cum with a strangled cry and he can feel every pulse and clench of your cunt through the layers that separated you. your whole body shook in his arms as he helped you ride out your high before you collapsed on top of him, your head buried in the crook of his neck. he let your hands wander up and down his sides but grabbed hold of your wrists when they started to make their way between his legs.

he was about to tell you to forget about it, to not worry about the ache that sat heavy and hard in his jeans but the pout on your face when you looked up made him freeze. 

“can i?” you asked, so close your warm breath fanned his face.

“you don’t- i didn’t…” he didn’t want you to think that this is all he’d wanted from you, that this wasn’t why he was compelled to return to you over and over. you seemed to understand his silent struggle, gracing him with a small smile. 

“i know. i want to.” any hesitation vanished at the challenging look you gave him while you freed his cock from its restraints. you held your palm out to him and dabi spat into it, never breaking eye contact as you do the same and wrapped your hand around him, coating his length in the mixture of you. you took as much care touching him as you did cutting his stitches, careful and sure with each stroke, sweeping a thumb over his sensitive tip to gather the precum that leaked like a faucet. 

as you worked his cock, he grabbed your leg that had fallen between his and pulled it up until your thighs were spread over his own. he couldn’t help the low groan that escaped him when he slid a hand into pants and past your panties and felt just how wet you were, sinking two fingers inside you just to hear you whine from the stretch. 

it wasn’t the best angle but dabi made it work, crooking his fingers and letting his rough palm slap against your clit with each thrust. when your eyes started to roll back into your head, he used his free hand to grab the back of your neck, pressing your forehead to his and making sure your vision was filled with nothing but him. 

“keep your eyes on me, don’t fucking close ‘em.” your mouth fell open as you nod, somehow keeping your pace steady even as he felt your walls fluttered around him. “show me that pretty face you make when you cum, sweetheart, i wanna see it again.” 

“‘m cumming ‘m cumming oh fuck- ! ” you gasped as your orgasm hit you. he moaned right alongside you as you squeezed just underneath his blunt tip in a sudden death grip, the pain-laced pleasure was almost enough to push him over the edge. 

you dropped to your knees quickly as you felt his cock twitch in your hand, popping the head into your mouth and rolling his heavy balls in your hand. the sudden sensation of your wet, hot tongue pressing at his slit had him shooting rope after rope of cum down your throat and his head spun when you swallowed every drop and showed him your empty mouth. 

dabi pounced, tackling you to the ground, cradling your head before it could hit the floor and crashing his lips onto yours so hard he already knew he’d have to give a gruff apology when they ended up bruised. he chased the bitter taste of himself that lingered on your tongue and shivered when your tongue ran across his scarred bottom lip and you didn’t recoil at what you felt. frantic, rough kisses melted away into a lazy make out that banished all but one thought from his mind. 

he could get used to this. he wanted to get used to this. 

“hey,” your voice pulled him back down to earth, something soft glimmering behind your eyes and dabi didn’t want to look away until he figured out what it was. “i wanna show you something.”

you wiggled out from beneath him, making your way to the window and pushing the heavy tarp out of the way before stepping onto the fire escape. 

following you up the winding stairs felt natural, like he was born to witness the small smile you threw over your shoulder to make sure he was keeping up. 

the view at the top was underwhelming. too many buildings pressed too close together, all the exact same height as the one you two stood on stretching as far as the eye could see to create the most painfully ordinary view he’d ever seen. but it was quiet. the roar of the streets below couldn’t be heard at all and dabi hadn’t realized how loud it all was until deafening silence took its place. and it was cold. cold enough that he couldn’t tell if the ache in his lungs was from the freezing air or the hazy memory of white hair that floated through his mind.

it was the closest thing to peace he could remember feeling in years. 

“you like it?” you were watching him closely, hopping from foot to foot and he didn’t know what possessed you to come out wearing only your flimsy sleepwear. you seemed proud of the little hidden treasure you found and something stirred in his chest thinking about how you chose to share it with him. 

“‘s nice.” he said, reaching out to cover both your hands in his and using just enough of his ever burning flame to warm you both. he found himself waiting once more for the sudden twist of revulsion in your features, for you to jerk away from his touch but you sighed in contentment as heat seeped back into your fingertips. you brought his hands up to your face, making him cup your cold cheeks and closing your eyes to savour the warmth. 

it was as you nuzzled into his palm that dabi realized exactly how dangerous you were to each other. undeserved kindness and crooked smiles and sharing secrets. he hadn’t earned any of these things and yet you handed them to him like it was the most natural thing in the world. 

and he’ll take them. because that was the nature of the fire he had been cursed with. it takes and takes and takes and you’ll be left with nothing to show for it but the grey ash of your generous heart. and in return you’d lull him with the false belief that he is more than the hatred that flows through his veins, that there was still a person buried under the mountain of rage he carried inside him. he doesn’t think he could survive without it but you would make him believe that he could. 

he’d destroy you. you’d ruin him. 

this, whatever this was that was growing between you was doomed to end before it had even started. he should leave you on this rooftop, leave the whole damn city and forget whatever you had tried to awaken in him. but dabi could never resist the call of destruction, would always want to know exactly how hot and how bright things could burn. what did love look like when it’s been bathed in flames? 

dabi pulled you closer, determined to find out.

dedicated to: @saintdabi​

[stardustprompts]

the poppy war - r.f kuang   sentence starters change tenses/pronouns as needed !!  some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying tw :   drugs , death , murder , nsfw , prostitution mention , language

‘take off your clothes.’

‘why would anyone drug themselves before a test?’

‘you’re about to be a very lucky girl, sweet.’

‘wow that’s great. really great. Terrific.’

‘your folks are assholes.’

‘well fuck the heavenly order of things.’

‘don’t you have actual responsibilities?’

‘I don’t want to get on _____ ‘s bad side.’

‘you would make a terrible prostitute. no charm.’

‘what is so wrong with getting married?’

‘do you want to die?’

‘everything is spilling out of my head as quickly as I put it in.’

‘please do not commit spousal homicide.’

‘give me a way out of this shithole.’

‘hello, I’m praying.’

‘I seduced him with my nubile young body. you caught me.’

‘you can’t scare me into a confession, because I’m telling the truth.’

‘and that means you’re shit at your job.’

‘if you cross them—- if they even think you’ve looked at them funny—- they can and will hurt you.’

‘it’s easy to lose a language when you never speak it.’

‘you’re offending them with your very presence.’

‘they’ll make you an outsider, because you’re not like them.’

‘no matter what they say, you deserve to be here.’

‘I’ll kill you. I will fucking kill you.’

‘I went out in the sun once. you should try it sometime.’

‘oh, you’re the one ____ hates.’

‘you’d be a prick too if your family was both rich and attractive.’

‘honestly? I think he just comes in here to get high.’

‘I think you’re flattering yourself.’

‘unless you’ve got a weapon, don’t aim for the face. the neck’s a better target.’

‘we aren’t here to be sophisticated. we’re here to fuck people up.’

‘this is the only kick you’ll ever need, really. a kick to bring down the most powerful warriors.’

‘power dictates acceptability.’

‘he hasn’t done anything to earn my respect. all he’s done is act high and mighty.’

‘you’re nothing. you shouldn’t even be here.’

‘consider me bullied and intimidated, just let me sleep.’

‘he’s playing with her. he’ll end it soon.’

‘they’re good at fighting, but not much else.’

‘spend a lot of time looking at ____’s eyes do you?’

‘a betrayal of that sort would not have been out of character.’

‘come on, you belong here too.’

‘they’re not going to get rid of me like this. not this easily.’

‘I’m calm! I’m extremely calm!’

‘you’d rather kill your own people than let the opponent’s army walk away?’

‘you don’t let an enemy walk away if they’ll certainly be a threat to you later.’

‘he can’t stop raving about you.’

‘oh, don’t pretend to be bashful. you love it.’

‘you’re a walking disaster.’

‘anyone this obstinate deserves some attention, if only to make sure you don’t become a walking hazard to everyone around you.’

‘I heard he got drunk on rice wine last week and pissed into ____’s window. he sounds awesome.’

‘it’s me, your favorite person in the whole wide world.’

‘I do not have a problem. you are making up this problem for reasons unbeknownst to me.’

‘you’re killing the mood.’

‘they were weak as shit. scrawnier than you, even.’

‘you’re a real asshole. you know that right?’

‘your state of mind is just as important as the state of your body.’

‘sometimes you must loose the string to let the arrow fly.’

‘because I want to break his stupid face.’

‘he’s the most dangerous when he’s desperate.’

‘from this point on you’re just going to be a danger to yourself and everyone around you.’

‘you’re too reckless. you hold grudges, you cultivate your rage and let it explode, and you’re careless about what you’re taught.’

‘I knew I was the only one that could help him.’

‘they honed his rage like a weapon, instead of teaching him to control it.’

‘one urinating statue for my easily entertained friend.’

‘I don’t believe in gods. but I believe in power.’

‘one might say you’ve been obsessed with ____.’

‘don’t look to your left. pretend you’re taking to me.’ / ‘I am talking to you.’

‘we’re studying very weird things.’

‘I don’t actually know what I’m getting into.’

‘here is what happened: you called a god, and the god answered.’

‘you know that if you don’t get answers now, the hunger will consume you and your mind will crack.’

‘you’ve glimpsed the other side and you can’t rest until you fill in the blanks.’

‘supernatural is a word for anything that doesn’t fit your present understanding of the world.’

‘I’m supposed to take it as true that you’re a god?’

‘I’m not a god. I am a mortal who has woken up, and there is power in awareness.’

‘are we getting high? oh, wow. we’re getting high.’

‘ah. the law. so inconvenient. so irrelevant.’

‘we are not madmen. but how can we convince anyone of this, when the rest of the world believes it so?’

‘the price of power is pain.’

‘I understand the truth of things. I know what it means to exist.’

‘prey do not question the motives of the predator. the dead do not question the living. mortals do not challenge the gods.’

‘I killed for you. I would have done anything for you.’

‘I have seen the end of things. the shape of the world has changed.’

‘war doesn’t determine who’s right. war determines who remains.’

‘it’s alright. I know what you are.’

‘I thought I was the only one left.’

‘we have developed the power to rewrite the fabric of this world. if we don’t use it, then what’s the point?’

‘I don’t mess with that shit. it screws you up.’

‘I understand the appeal, I really do, but I like having my mind to myself.’

‘he’s a charmer. like a new puppy. you think he’s adorable until he pisses on the furniture.’

‘there’s no routine. no discipline. nothing you’re used to. am I right?’

‘so you’re the last of your kind. that’s sad.’

‘If you hold the fate of the country in your hands, if you have accepted your obligation to your people, then your life ceases to be your own.’

‘____ feared, and so he held you back.’

‘great danger is always associated with great power. the difference between the great and the mediocre is that the great are willing to take that risk.’

‘don’t ever let go on that anger. rage gives you power. caution does not.’

‘don’t give in... you’ve been so brave... but it takes more bravery to resist the power.’

‘the nature of this god is to destroy. the nature of this god is to be greedy, to never be satisfied with what he has consumed.’

‘so. screaming at rocks. is that, like, normal behavior here?’

‘fix this. prove your worth. do your fucking job or get out.’

‘I saved your life. doesn’t that make us at least a little square?!’

‘I was scared of you. and I lashed out.’

‘I thought I was better than you, and I’m not. I’m sorry.’

‘when I killed it, it felt like murder.’

‘look, I’m happy to discuss this, really, but I’m currently leaking life out three different wounds and I think I may pass out. would you give me a moment?’

‘well maybe ____ should get his head out of his ass.’

‘ ____ is more fragile than you think.’

‘look, asshole, I don’t need you to tell me what to do.’

‘they say he can read the future. shatter minds.’

‘you misunderstand the nature of our relationship. I am not your friend.’

‘he’s not human. he—- I don’t know what he is.’

‘but ___ was never allowed to be human.’

‘do you trust me?’ / ‘no. but that’s irrelevant.’

‘you don’t know what true suffering is.’

‘I have seen more than my fair share of suffering.’

‘that boy is beyond redemption. that boy is broken like the rest.’

‘I don’t want to be saved! I want power!’

‘that power will destroy everything you’ve ever loved. you will defeat your enemy, and the victory will turn to ashes in your mouth.’

‘we’ve missed something. something’s been laid out for us, but we can’t see it.’

‘fretting won’t make the dead come back to life.’

‘there was nothing human in those eyes.’

‘It was a nightmare, and I couldn’t wake up.’

‘I don’t need your pity. I need you to kill them for me.’

‘whatever it takes. swear it on your life. swear it for me.’

‘I won’t judge him. I don’t dare, because I don’t have the right. and neither do you.’

‘you asked me why I wouldn’t stop him. now you understand. you can’t stop an avenger. you can’t reason with a madman.’

‘I am afraid of what he might do in his quest for vengeance. and I am afraid that he is right.’

‘I am about to do something terrible. and you will have a choice.’

‘they give nothing to the universe, and the universe owes them nothing in return.’

‘you cannot survive my death.’

‘you’re trying to deceive me. you don’t get to deceive me.’

‘this is not the way. this path leads only to darkness.’

‘when are you going to stop being such a damn coward? what are you running from?’

‘you will turn the world to ash, and only demons will live in the rubble.’

‘you dress up your crusade with moral arguments, when in truth you would let millions die if it means you get your so-called justice.’

‘you have not cared about anything for a very long time. you are broken.’

‘I am terrified. but only because I’m starting to remember who I once was. don’t go down that path.’

‘your country is ash. you can’t bring it back with blood.’

‘I’m so sorry. I tried to warn you.’

‘you know the worst part? we’re so close to home.’

‘did you miss me? did you miss this?’

‘I just gave him some of his favorite medicine.’

‘resistance here means suffering. there is no escape. no future.’

‘you have nothing to fight for anymore’

‘what are you defending? you owe ____ nothing.’

‘we were disposable. we were tools. tell me that doesn’t make you furious.’

‘I am sick with fury.’

‘I will die on my feet. I will not die a coward. and neither will you.’

‘we could stay here. we could stay here forever. we wouldn’t have to go back.’

‘you’ll have to live with the consequences. but you’re brave ... you’re the bravest person I’ve ever met.’

‘I have lost everything I care about. I don’t want peace, I want revenge.’

‘I don’t need to sleep. I need to feel nothing.’

‘do you want forgiveness? I can’t give you that.’

‘we avenged him. he’s gone, but avenged.’

‘you have to believe that it was necessary. that it stopped something worse. and even if it wasn’t, it’s the lie we’ll tell ourselves, starting today and every day afterward.’

‘aren’t you supposed to be a seer? do you ever see anything useful?’

‘we have an enemy whom we love.’

‘I’m going to find and kill everyone responsible. you cannot stop me.’

‘oh I’m not going to stop you.’

[leviiattacks]

Boxer Levi & Coach Reader

author note :: i lost the ask for this, but this is not good at all. quite literally the worst thing i have ever written /srs anyways,,,,, anon said they wanted me to post it no matter what so i hope you do enjoy whatever this is,,, the pacing is non-existent and it has not been edited 👍🏼

requests are always open :-) i promise i am usually better than this,, anyway i may just use this as a rough outline for a fic 🤔

word count :: 5.4k....... yeah......

you and levi become acquainted with each other in university. it’s all very cliche if you do say so yourself. he steps in playing the role of good samaritan heroically saving your wallet and wordlessly he hands it to you even after running for the thief. the man doesn’t do as much as pant in exhaustion.

his stamina is…never mind that, his reflexes are out of this world

he expects a thank you because anyone else would expect at least a token of gratitude shown via words but the sentence you want to ask only ends up trapping itself in your throat

it comes to the point where he nods understanding maybe you have a sore throat or just don’t want to thank him at all

eyes flicking to his hands you immediately lunge forward taking your chance.

almost immediately you feel regret for holding onto the wrist of a complete and utter stranger without permission

“your stamina it’s great!” the man turns to you, he isn’t smiling but he’s definitely intrigued by the sudden change in behavior

and that’s where it all begins

levi’s horrible at getting to know strangers, even worse at forming bonds and connections. maybe that’s why he doesn’t warm up to the idea of having to deal with new people and new settings all at once

“i hope you’ve met your coach this is aman-” introductions are cut short by levi stubbornly interjecting in the middle of your sentence 

“i have, but is she you?”

pursing your lips an awkward chuckle leaves your mouth, you look around uncomfortably wondering what he means.

“well, no?”

“then i won’t box.”

?????

you don’t even know what to say??? here you were thinking maybe he would be a little more cooperative than this.

his index finger points right at you and he takes a step forwards. his shoes come into contact with yours and you find yourself holding your breath apprehensively.

“i won’t box unless it’s you in charge.”

that is when you and levi formally meet for the first time. you are but an inexperienced coach and he, an inexperienced boxer.

“i’m getting drinks you want anything?”

“oh no don’t worry i’m good!!” you smile at levi and he nods his head venturing off to buy himself a bottle of sparkling water

levi has had you coaching him for a few years now

really he doesn’t think he’s ever felt more than respect for you. respect for the way you stay back late with him to train, respect for the schedules you make him and he’s most definitely respectful of your boxing knowledge

sure out of the two of you he’s more physically capable but it doesn’t change the fact that he becomes frustrated when he’s told he has to spend a day without you.

it’s not like you think that levi cares or anything, nothing sappy like that.

he just probably hates, no, despises having to listen to anyone else’s instructions. he finds that they somehow sound demeaning or less sincere.

every instruction you give him has a reason behind it. you don’t beat around the bush and he’s stated before that he enjoys that he knows he’s developing his skill set and progressing when he’s with you.

the olympus ring - one of the largest boxing competitions known to man is approaching soon and if levi manages to place in the top two his career is set to sky rocket in no time at all

that thought makes you feel unusually nervous

worry gnaws at your mind and you wonder about whether or not he’ll replace you after the competition concludes. after all who wants a coach with little fighting experience? all you really know is from your family. your brother and father had been professional boxers years prior.

you have no doubt at all that levi will place number one that’s for sure but you really hope he doesn’t find a replacement for you.

you’ve never had much faith in your coaching and to be left behind in the dust hurts you a tiny bit but you never bring it up because you know what? levi progressing in his career will make him happy :-)

levi’s happiness over yours and it’s not good to be selfish you suppose >:(

“y/n.” he’s waving a hand in front of your face, you’re uncharacteristically quiet today and he’s caught on

“you awake?” he asks again.

upon receiving no response levi’s now waving his hand with more tenacity

“wake. up.” he flicks at your forehead and you stir a little finally coming to your senses once you see him leaning up above you.

he looks taller than normal from this angle and your cheeks blaze, he has a habit of walking around shirtless whilst training and doesn’t realise the effect it has on you

“i- yeah good totally good. just thinking.”

“thinking about?” levi kneels to the floor looking you in the eyes and your mind falters wondering when it was he began to sit so close to you. it feels like it was just yesterday when the two of you used to eat lunch separately out of embarrassment.

the silence stretches for a second too long and his eyes narrow suspiciously leaving you to think on your feet

“i well, you have a press conference soon and i have to think of transportation and-”

“coach. i can deal with that.”

you’re a little stunned when he says that because he’s never tried to take away from your responsibilities in the past. is this a hint that he no longer wants you around?

“but it’s my job?” you reply back feeling threatened

“but you’re always doing it. i can figure it out this once.”

without even hearing the rest of what you have to say he stalks back towards his punching bag leaving your chest empty

he’s definitely thinking of replacing you is what you think

really this should not be getting you worked up.

you’ve known levi for years, you should have faith in the fact he trusts you but you find yourself indulging in self doubt more often than you intend to

guilt fills you as you scroll through the multiple job listings in front of you but you have a justification. this is your lifeline, you can’t afford to lose your source of income and it’s best to be prepared

however there’s no real amount of preparation that can get you used to the prospect of not seeing levi every day

he’s sort of just made a space for himself in your daily routine

chewing at your bottom lip you can’t get through one job listing without thinking about him and you shut your laptop down thinking tomorrow will be a better day and you’ll check back in then

why does levi even matter?? he’ll officially be an ass when he dumps you of your position?? who cares about him???

but that doesn’t stop you from caring and now you’re hunched over your closed laptop trying to understand what it is that’s making you feel this way

maybe it’s the whole attachment you have with him??

he is the very first person you’ve ever coached that’s true

he’s made you proud and allowed for your name to get out there in the boxing world

maybe that’s what’s holding you back from looking into other jobs

but that reason doesn’t make much sense

you should still be frustrated with him.

AND

you most definitely should not care about how he’s doing OR worry about who’ll patch him up when he ends up stupidly injuring himself during practice (he does that a lot)

“why do i care so much for him?” you type into google thinking there’s no person on this earth that can help you with this predicament now

honestly at this point asking AI is probably going to have to be your only reliable option

tapping on one of the first links you hope to find your answer

“what happened? yeah, you had sex?” pops onto your screen and you tap off as quick as possible.

no. you did not have sex. oh god, you haven’t even touched levi much. the most you’ve done is lace your fingers with his and offer him a hug

are you meant to have… had sex???

is it wrong for you to feel that way withou-

okay enough. this has got nothing to do with sex and your feelings are still valid. maybe you are right and you’re attached to him that’s it!!! right?

scrolling further down you nearly give up until you reach another link titled “the science of caring for those who don’t care for you.”

rolling your eyes you still hesitantly tap praying you find some sort of answer

and an answer is what you find that’s for sure

staring you right in the face in bold letters

1. you feel responsible for that person

not really, he’s very independent.

2. the person is a family member

absolutely not

3. you could be romantically attracted to the person in question

…….

romantically interested?? no. that’s wrong. not true. incorrect. not right. just not real. you are not romantically attracted to levi

,,,or are you?

that does explain why he makes you feel jittery, it explains why you shivered the one time he engulfed you in a hug at his first championship

it also explains why you feel burning jealousy when a celebrity shoves their number into your hands asking you to pass it onto levi. they don’t even look at you like you’re a human being. you’re just a messenger pigeon

they’re worlds away from you. you forever stuck in your tracksuit and them - those beautiful models in skintight dresses and heels to match are stuck in a world where everything they want is handed to them. that includes men

you know it’s not their fault and you’d kill to be like them too but you guess the whole sweaty tracksuits and boxing daily has just become your niche

nonetheless levi is a man. a popular man.

and he sure as hell has no romantic interest in his clumsy, uncoordinated coach

sighing you huddle yourself into a ball choosing not to think about it anymore

but you know you’ve already come to your conclusion

you like levi ackerman more than a coach should

and it’s taken you years to take notice of it

when you became a coach you never really thought people would talk about you much

you were clearly very wrong about that. you and levi are both hot topics on discussion forums and boxing panels. luckily for you levi finds no entertainment in such forms of boxing and so never glances at them

he’s completely unaware of all the online comments. to be honest you’re happy he’s oblivious to it all. he doesn’t deserve to deal with spiteful, mean spirited jabs

you’re less like levi and find yourself aimlessly scrolling through news articles and boxing q&a pages. it’s interesting to see what people have to say on social media

but these days all the searches for your name are filled with “replaced soon?” and “not good enough to coach ackerman?”

the headlines are cruel jokes but again you’re willing to handle taking the brunt of the press’ force instead of levi. yes, even if it hurts you.

“what you reading?” levi peers over your shoulder and you nearly throw your phone away to the other side of the room but instead you choose to grip at it tightly and shove it into your chest

you grin hiding the screen away. “something private.”

levi doesn’t look like he believes you, he wants to ask if you’re okay and if you need anything because frankly you do look slightly distraught but he decides against interrogating you

“oh okay. i’ll be back. you want anything from starbucks?” he asks.

at that moment you wish he asked you if you wanted to talk about what had been bothering you

but you know even if he did ask you’d deny his help

the olympus ring’s official press conference is one in which many rivalries will be established

levi has always had an issue with zeke jaeger one of the top contenders in his division.

it’s a long story......

one which includes the purposeful injury of a mutual friend in order to sabotage his career

you remember it all, the way you had to physically hold levi back from pouncing at the man. it had been one of the most difficult things you had to do

erwin was your friend too and you wanted him to receive justice. part of you wanted to let go and allow for levi to attack zeke with his all but you chose to be levi’s coach before you were erwin’s friends

if he wasn’t going to make good decisions for himself you would do it for him

if you had let him go through with that rash choice he could have risked suspension and suspension could completely halt some careers. suspension almost always led to shorter longevity and motivation

and so that’s why you always shift to levi’s side when he walks past zeke. there’s no way you’re taking a chance. knowing levi he could lose his cool and completely pummel him with an upper cut

so that’s what you’re doing right now. trying to edge levi to the other side of the hall but he does no such thing.

“coach, do you have to be so cautious with zeke?” he finally asks with a bland look on his face

you wince a little when he doesn’t use your name and it looks like he notices the reaction. he makes no commentary on it

“this is my job. let me do it properly.” you explain nudging him to the side so your path doesn’t coincide with zeke’s

levi looks at you poking a tongue in his cheek clearly not amused nor happy

“i’ll do what i want.” and with that said and done he walks on ahead. you take note of the fact that despite saying he’ll do what he wants he does in fact comply with your instructions and walks in the opposite direction and into a nearby convenience store

sighing you rummage through your backpack trying to find your meds

your head has been pounding since you’ve arrived and you hope to fit in at least one nap

looking up to survey the area the street is clear and there is no sight of zeke. you feel at ease at that discovery, not only does he cause you discomfort but he’s a general displeasure to interact with

his tuft of dirty blonde hair irks you to no end and you’re up for no conversation with the man who who ended erwin’s career

he’s the last person you want to ever initiate small talk with.

but fate is a weird thing is it not? because as soon as you’re sure you’ve escaped the clutches of zeke jaeger you hear a chuckle behind you

“well if it isn’t levi’s side piece?”

a hand lands on your shoulder but you shake it away immediately

jaw clenching you try to ignore zeke as best you can but he continues to taunt you

“imagine if levi got an actual coach and not a whore to fuck in the gym?”

turning to face him you see him midway through shrugging his shoulders

believe it or not there had been a time where you and zeke were good friends. a time where he hadn’t let fame get to his head.

so for him to refer to you like that does make your heart sting a little

“cat got your tong-”

and there it is

the long overdue punch

it hits him right in the jaw without warning and you’re tripping trying to stop levi - who might you add has shown up from NOWHERE.

you thought he was shopping?????

“you know if i needed to swing at him i could have?!?” you whisper shout at him completely infuriated that he’s possibly thrown away his chance of competing

“you weren’t going to though.” he says plainly and you can’t deny it.

you don’t have it in you to swing at zeke.

levi doesn’t choose to inflict more pain on his opponent and instead kneels beside him leaning by his ear

you don’t know what he whispers - you’re completely out of ear shot but it’s not even thirty seconds later till levi rises and saunters away seeming content

shooting zeke an apologetic look for the over the top beating you’re surprised to see him look...regretful?

whatever levi said you wonder what it was

it’s been a solid fifteen minutes of you walking behind levi

his back is all you’ve seen so you have no idea about his mood and it’s not that you’re intimidated or anything but peering in just to look at his face is a little odd so you choose to stay a suitable distance away

“y/n.” he says finally when he reaches his hotel room.

fishing through your backpack for his keys you’re surprised when he holds your wrist to stop you

“listen to me.” he sounds calm but slightly on edge

“has zeke always said those things?”

twiddling your thumbs you awkwardly laugh

“well no, we used to be friends. remember how i told you ages ago? he was so cool back then and yeah i miss that zeke :-) but i don’t know what’s up with him.”

you’ve never really told anyone about how you feel about zeke’s hostility so you’re getting KINDA emotional right now thinking about the friend you miss

“i mean to ask, since you started coaching me has he always said that?”

“it was a bit before that but yeah. it’s no big deal at all. people change, zeke changed. i can’t do anything about it.”

moving to find his room keys again you don’t expect for him to hold his grasp

looking up at him there’s a look of simmering anger on his face

“why did you never tell me he said that about you?”

running a hand through your hair you’re only getting anxious having to deal with this in the middle of a hotel hallway

“levi. everyone says that about me. me and you are always together, all sorts of stupid rumours spread.”

“so why do you have to deal with all the malicious comments?? it’s unfa-”

“levi, the world has never been fair.”

handing him his keys he looks between you and them. he’s deciding if he wants to continue with his questioning

ultimately he decides he’s heard enough

a few hours have passed since the incident. neither you or levi have had the courage to come out of your separate rooms to discuss anything

you know you’re going to have to break the quiet and go through his possible press conference questions with him. even if you don’t want to this is your job after all.

so that’s how you end up sitting cross legged on his bed in your pyjamas. levi’s still in the shower so you’ve welcomed your self in. it’s common practice between the two of you to do so

after the one time he walked in on you naked…there’s practically nothing to hide from each other

scribbling a few ideas down onto your notepad you’re curious of what the press have in store for him this time

“yes exactly my thoughts” the sound of levi’s voice is coming from the bathroom, you suppose he’s had to take a business call and think nothing of it

“y/n?” he scoffs and you assume at first he’s calling out for you but then things take a turn for the worst

“sometimes i think about not having y/n coach me that’s all… there’s nothing wrong with that?”

oh.

so your suspicions were correct.

glancing down at the interview questions in your lap you jot down a note at the bottom

hey couldn’t stay for long but try to review the press conference questions on your own if you have the time! :-) much lov good luck, y/n !!!!

and then you retreat.

you don’t know if you make it up but you swear you hear knocking at your door during the night. you aren’t too sure but whatever it is disturbs your sleep.

stretching outside of your room the next morning you’re drowsy and beyond exhausted. you don’t even notice levi come outside.

one of his knuckles is rubbing at his bloodshot eyes. has he not slept well?

“i tried to wake you up but i guess you were asleep?” his statement comes out as a question. you’re not used to levi exhibiting much emotion at all and right now he seems unusually inquisitive.

“i was sleeping.” not even sparing him a second of your time you give him a rehearsed smile and walk off towards the hotel cafe

you can’t find the energy to even look at him

the hall is lined up with barricades to prevent possible assault or injury and you’re behind the stage with levi

the two of you have yet to say another word to each other since this morning. levi’s buttoning his shirt up and you’re looking around for his necktie. the least he can do after yesterday’s confrontation with zeke is to look presentable

“tie?” he asks over his shoulder

throwing it at him you hear a grunt of annoyance. he must have disliked that.

“can you help me with my cuff links?”

breathing out of your nose you feel anxious. you’ll have to get really close to him to do that.

but again you have to.

you take them from his hands and stand in front of him. you don’t really know how to go about this, what way is there for you to appropriately position yourself?

he’s sat on a backstage bench and checks the time on his phone “we’ve only got a few minutes left.” he’s clearly requesting that you hurry this up but you can’t seem to do it you’re completely frozen in place

“y/n, what’s wrong?” he asks

“nothing.”

he doesn’t have to know you know

“something’s wrong.”

“we’re in a hurry it doesn’t matter.” yanking him by his right sleeve you slot one of the cuff links through the slits in his shirt.

levi silently observes you fiddling with his sleeves, you can feel his stare burn into you. even as you’re moving onto the opposite side you can see from the corner of your eye that he hasn’t stopped staring

“was it something i said to you?” he asks again

a silence drags between the both of you and you debate on whether or not you’d like to enlighten levi with the information you obtained yesterday night

“more like something you didn’t say.” you finally respond.

thrusting his arm back at him his hand lands onto his lap and he opens his mouth to respond only to be cut off by an announcer

“THIS YEARS OLYMPUS RING CONTESTANTS MAY ENTER.”

crowds can be heard cheering outside but levi still hasn’t ripped his eyes off of you

“go on, maybe you’ll find a new coach after the press conference.” your bitter smile tells him all he has to know and his face visibly drops realizing what has happened

“i–”

“mr ackerman to the stage. i repeat mr ackerman to the stage!!”

he’s torn between staying behind and explaining himself or leaving to head towards one of the most important press conferences of his life

his teeth tug at his bottom lip as he looks between you and the entrance to the stage

“go levi.”

and he does.

levi’s sat on one of many chairs on the panel, he gulps taking a sip of water to calm his nerves. he’s not even nervous about the press conference, that can wait. he doesn’t know how much you’ve heard and how much you’ve misinterpreted what he’s said

he finds it weird at first that he’s even worried because you and him have a professional relationship

but then he has to stop himself from smacking the back of his own head. he knows that much isn’t true, hell if it was a strictly professional relationship he wouldn’t be walking around shirtless to get your attention

he wouldn’t lace his fingers with yours when he was nervous either 

he wouldn’t let you tend to his injuries and scold him if this was about being professional, he doesn’t tolerate being scolded by anyone but if it’s you he’ll take it

when it’s you scolding him for fucking up one of his fists it feels okay, it feels right. he feels warm inside knowing that you have to care for him if you get that angry 

he sighs feeling exasperated waiting for the last person to join the panel and get this question and answers segment over and done with

zeke makes his obnoxiously late appearance but levi doesn’t have it in him to roll his eyes. evidently he’s still stuck on you and thinking about apologizing as soon as this is finished

zeke sits right next to levi and some members of the crowd whisper amongst themselves

“have they made up?”

“think there’s gonna be another brawl??”

“i hope not they’re both my favourites…”

one of the reporters right in front of the stage but behind the barricades is the first to speak

“as we all know there has been an unmistakable sense of tension between two of the most promising contenders this year. mr ackerman and mr yaeger. would you like to put the rumours at rest?”

the question makes levi clench his jaw, zeke rolls his hands into two fists feeling just as frustrated. this is boxing not a reality tv show who cares what the terms of their long broken friendship are?

zeke nudges levi’s knee with his and levi returns the movement.

for now they’ll call a truce. it seems that both he and zeke have more pressing matters to attend to

“me and levi are bros. i’m frankly upset such a rumour started in the first place!” the crowd is mumbling again and the reporter himself is stunned by the unexpected response

“i admit that a fight which some may have saw yesterday was my fault. i had made some inappropriate comments towards his coach to get at him. it was a malicious move on my part and i hope people don’t think him and i are mortal enemies because of this bump in the road.”

zeke is so well spoken when he wants to be that levi feels self conscious sitting there having said nothing.

“mr ackerman? would you like to comment or?”

levi’s eyes light up, this is an opportunity to have you hear him. he doesn’t have to wait to explain when he can throw hints right now. you may be giving him the silent treatment but you wouldn’t miss this press conference for the world

sitting up in his chair and clearing his throat levi looks directly into one of the cameras pointed at him. he’s sure you’ll be able to see him from backstage.

“me and zeke have no other disputes apart from that i assure you. i simply value my coach greatly and so i acted rashly yesterday.”

the reporter nods along feeling pleased with the answer.

a few more questions are thrown around to the other contestants, levi sits there bored out of his mind until at the last minute before everything is just about to wrap up he’s asked a question once again

“regarding your coach, have you thought of a replacement if you win the championship?”

levi presses his lips together not understanding the question

“why would i replace my current coach?” where on earth has this question even come from??

“rumours have been flying around regarding lack of experience and the fact you’re outgrowing each other now. it’s all over boxing discussion forums.”

your hands are embarrassingly shoved into your pockets as people pass behind you backstage offering you pitiful looks. maybe wearing your bright pink team ackerman tracksuit wasn’t the best choice because everyone can hear what’s going on up front

levi’s memory flashes back to the number of times you hid your phone behind your back and awkwardly chuckled saying nothing was bothering you. he understands what you were hiding now

his mouth twists into a scowl, he knows you’re a few meters away listening to all of this and hearing it coming out of a stranger’s mouth is probably upsetting you

“i plan to stick with my coach till the day i die.”

you sit up not believing what you heard, it entirely contradicts what you heard last night

some journalists are jotting down notes, members of the audience are leaning forward listening intently

“well, why is that?” the reporter presses on

levi twirls a pen around in his hands staring off into the crowd.

“i don’t think anyone else could tolerate me.

you bite back a laugh because you know that’s true :-)

“they’re a person who saw potential in me when no one else did.”

he chuckles to himself.  “your stamina it’s great!” his witty imitation of you is rather accurate

“that was the first thing coach ever said to me.” he pauses allowing himself to reminisce.

“but i did want to drop my coach the other day.” he admits.

hearing him confess to it should make you mad, you should be pissed off right now but you can’t manage to feel that way at all

“i said it because i wanted them to relax. i never really understood the magnitude of the criticism they were receiving until recently.”

levi’s staring directly at the camera and his eyes pierce into yours, it’s as if he’s actually looking right at you

“i’d be lost without them, so i want to say to the one person rooting for me backstage, thank you for everything you do for me :-)”

you’re covering your face with your hands feeling the blush creep up your cheeks now. GOD what is he doing??? you may as well be the same colour as your tracksuit, you’ve never heard him be this sentimental in his entire life

“so no, i won’t be replacing my coach any time soon. if anything i should worry about my coach replacing me.”

levi ackerman...

he’s a HUGE idiot if he thinks you’ve ever thought of seriously replacing him

levi presses his arms against your sides when you’re both alone and in the solitude of his hotel room.

“i’m sorry for thinking you wanted to fire me.“ you mumble it into his chest feeling much too embarrassed to look up at him and say it

“also i may as well say this now but i have a fat, massive, huge crush on you “

after that you awkwardly laugh to yourself. you both kinda stare at each other and you’re meant to regret telling him how you feel right now but you don’t. having that weight lifted off your shoulders feels amazing.

"you don’t have to like me back or anything and i know you don’t like me back obviously you probably like that one actress- what was her name?? the one with the long black hair she gave you her number at a fundraiser dinner. you’d both look cute together, have i said that??”

levi gives you a blank look

“i threw her number away.”

you’re open mouthed feeling completely shocked, she’s gorgeous??

“HUH?? HELLO WHY? LEVI ACKERMAN, HAVE YOU EVEN SEEN HER??”

“i have but is she you?”

the all too familiar words from years ago ring in your ears 

nostalgia hits the both of you in waves and levi takes you in for another hug. your heart hammers in your chest and with your face pressed against him once again you can feel the irregular beat of his heart too. 

that is when you and levi formally meet for the second time. this time you are but an experienced coach and he, an experienced boxer.

:-)

[davidmann95]

Sooo… Superman and the Authority?

magnus-king123 asked: Your thoughts on Superman & the authority Give it to me...lol

Anonymous asked: Seeing Bezos take his little trip into space the same day Morrison puts out a Superman comic that touches on how far we’ve fallen from the days when we dreamed of utopian futures where everyone explored the stars was a big gut punch. Not used to Superman being topical in that way.

Anonymous asked: What'd you think of Superman and the Authority#1?

This is far beyond what I can fit in the normal weekly reviews, so taking this as my notes on the first six pages, with this and this as my major lead-in thoughts:

* Janin's such a perfect fit for Morrison - the scale, the power, the facial expressions selling the character work, the screwing around with the panel formatting as necessary to sell the effect, the numinous sense of things going on larger than you can fully perceive amidst the beauty and chaos. It's a shame he wasn't around 25 years ago to draw JLA, but I'll take him going with Morrison onto other future projects.

* His intro action sequence is such a great demonstration of why Black actually does have something to offer, and also how he's such a dumbass desperately needing Superman to save him from himself.

* While Jordie Bellaire didn't legit go with an entirely monochromatic palate the way early previews suggested, it's still an effect frequently and excellently deployed here. And glad to see Steve Wands carry into this from Blackstars since there's such an obvious carryover from its work with Superman.

* "Gentlemen. Ladies. Others." Great both because of the obvious - hey, Superman's nodding at me! - and because it's a phrasing that reinforces that this take on him (and let's be real Morrison) is old as hell.

* I'm mostly past caring about whether this is an alt-Earth Superman until it becomes indisputable one way or another, this and Action both rule so what does it really matter? But while there are still a couple signs in play suggesting some kind of division (the Action Comics #1036 cover, Midnighter up to time-travel shenanigans) the "lost in time" quote clearly thrown in after the fact to explain how he could have met Kennedy outside of 5G that wouldn't be necessary for an Elseworlds, the assorted gestures towards Superman's current status quo, the Kingdom Come symbol appearing in Action, and that Morrison would have had to completely rewrite the ending if this wasn't supposed to be 'the' version of Clark Kent going forward as was the intent when they first planned it all say to me that no, no fooling around, this is our guy going forward one way or another.

* Janin and Bellaire making the first version of the crystal Fortress ever that actually looks as cool as you want it to.

Anonymous asked: I like that Superman and The Authority is basically the anti-All-Star; instead of the laid back, immortal Superman who is supercharged, we have a stressed, ageing Superman whose tremendous powers are fading. The former will always be there to save us, but the latter is running out of time and needs to pull off a Hail Mary. Also, he mentions in his monologue to Black that he was "lost in time" when he met JFK, so maybe he is the main continuity Clark. Or he's the t-shirt Supes from Sideways.

* You're absolutely right - the power reversal is obvious and the ticking clock in play seemingly isn't for his own survival but everyone around him as he wakes up and realizes all the old icons grew complacent with the gains they'd made and he's not leaving behind the world he meant to. Both, however, are built on the idea of preparing the world to not need them anymore - it'll still have a Superman in his son, but that'll only work because of the others he empowers and inspires. The question is what happens to Clark if he's not going to live in the sun for 83000 years.

* Clark's 'exercise' here does more to sell me on the idea of Old Man Superman as a cool idea than however many decades of Earth 2 stuff.

* Intergang being noted alongside Darkseid and Doomsday speaks to how much Kirby informed Morrison's conception of Superman.

* This isn't exactly the most progressive in its disability politics but at least it makes clear Black's being a piece of shit about it.

* It's startling how much Clark can get away with saying stuff in here you'd never expect to come out of Superman's mouth. "I made an executive decision" "Privacy, really...?" "You have nowhere to go, Black. Nothing to live for." "There are few people in my life who I instinctively and viscerally dislike, and you've always been one of them." It only works because there's zero aggression behind it, he's just past the point of niceties and being totally frank while making clear none of these assessments preclude that he cares and is going to unconditionally do the right thing every time. He is absolutely, per Morrison, humanity's dad picking us up when we're too drunk to drive ourselves home.

* The story doesn't put a big flashing light over it, but it's not even a little bit subtle having the material threat of the issue be a ticking timebomb left by the carelessness and hubris of generations past.

* Manchester keeps trying to poke the bear and prove his hot takes about Superman and it's just not working. The front he put up under Kelley is gone after decades of defeats, and as Morrison understands what actually conceptually works about him as a rival to Superman underneath the aging nerd paranoia he's exposed as what he absolutely would be in 2021: a dude with a horrific terminal case of Twitter brainworms. I was PANICKED when I heard there was an 'offensive term' joke in this, I was braced for Morrison at their well-meaning worst, but it's such a goddamn perfect encapsulation of a very specific breed of Twitter leftist who uses their politics first and foremost as a cudgel and justification to label their abrasive, judgmental shittiness as self-righteousness (plus it's a killer payoff to a joke from way back in his original appearance). Cannot believe they pulled that off when they're so very, very open about basically not knowing how the internet works.

* @charlottefinn: Manchester Black using his telekinetic powers to force someone he hates to fave a problematic tweet so that he can screenshot it and start a dogpile

@intergalactic-zoo: “Once they cancel Bibbo, Superman won’t be *anyone’s* fav’rit anymore!”

* Friend noted this issue had to be fully the conversation because the whole premise stands on the house of cards of these two somehow working together, and with three 'silent' inset panels the creative team pulls off that turning point.

* So much of this feels on the surface like Morrison bringing back the All-Star vibes with Clark, but when he drops a "That's all you got?" in a brawl you realize what's underlining that bluntness and confidence in the face of failure is that deep down this is still the Action guy too. This dude ain't gonna get wrecked in his Fortress while the other guy chuckles about him being A SOFT WEE SCIENTIST'S SON!

* Bringing up Jor-El made me realize that Morrison already spelled out that this is the final threat to Superman, what he faces at the end of the road:

"Now it's your turn, Superman."

* A l'il Superman 2000/All-Star reference with the Phantom Zone map!

* There's so much intertextuality going on here even by Morrison standards - Change or Die with the old hero putting together a team of morally nebulous folks out to 'fix' everything, Flex Mentallo with the muscleman trying to redeem the punk, Doomsday Clock with the fate of the world hinging on whether Superman can get through to a meta stand-in for an idea of 'modern' comics cynicism, DKR and New Frontier and Kingdom Come and Multiversity and Seven Soldiers and What's So Funny and All-Star and Action and the last 5 years of monthly Superman comics and Authority and probably Jupiter's Legacy and Tom Strong - but none of that's needed. You could go in with the baseline pop cultural understanding of the character and not care about any of the inside baseball shit and get that this is a story about a leader of a generation that let down the people they made all their grand promises to as inertia and day-to-day demands and complacency let him be satisfied with the accomplishments they'd made long ago, looking at a new era and seeing the ways its own activists are dropping the ball. The only thing that fundamentally matters in a "you have to accept you're reading a superhero story" sense is that because he's Superman he's willing to own up to it and listen to people who might know better about some things and try to set things right while he and those who'll take his place still have a chance. And yes, the oldster looking back on their legacy with a skeptical eye and hoping for better from the next generation, hoping most of all that their little heir apparent can fulfill the promise inside of him instead of being a provocating little shitkicker, is obviously also autobiographical.

* The overlaying Kennedy reprisal is such a great visual of a sudden intrusive thought.

* The Kryptonite secret is the obvious "This is going to matter!" moment, but "He lied about his son" is a bit that doesn't connect to anything going on right now so maybe that's important here too? More significantly, the Justice League can't actually be the villains here but that Ultra-Humanite's crew are in an Earth-orbiting satellite makes pretty clear what's up.

* I've said before that between Superman, OMAC, and a New Gods-affiliated speedster this was going to use all of Morrison's favorite things. King Arthur playing a role isn't exactly dissuading me.

* Love the idea that all the antiheroes have their own community in the same way as the capes and tights crew. They definitely all privately think the rest are posers though and that they alone are Garth Ennis Punisher in a mob of Garth Ennis Wolverines.

* Manchester's fallen so far he's gone from trying to convince Superman to kill to convince him to dunk on people for their bad takes and Clark just doesn't get it. Official prediction of dialogue for upcoming issues:

"According to these bloody Fortress scans, the only thing that can restore your powers is an unfiltered hit of dopamine. Don't worry, Doctor Black has a few ideas."

"Hmm. Maybe I'll plant a nice tree?"

"...fuck you."

* Ok I already talked about how great the Fortress looks in here but LOVE this library.

* A pair of pages this seems like the right spot to discuss from Black's original appearance that underlines both his and Superman's inadequacies up to this point:

Responding to the problem of "the government and penal system are hopelessly corrupt" neither of them has any actual notion of what to do about it in spite of their respective posturing beyond how to handle individual outside actors - each is in their own way every bit as small-minded and reactionary as the other. Clark's coming around though, and he's holding out hope for the other guy.

* Superman: Have a lovely mineral water :) proper hydration is important :)

Manchester Black: *Is a dude who can get so mad he vomits and passes out. At water.*

* That last page is the one to beat for the year, and does more to put over the idea of this as an Authority book than that Midnighter and Apollo are literally going to show up. It also feels like Morrison tacitly acknowledging all the ways the premise could go or at least be received wrong - from Superman saying 'enough is enough' to who he's bringing into the fold to go about it - in the most beautifully on-the-nose fashion imaginable. Maybe they'll save us all! Or maybe they'll drown us in their vomit.

[mde1011]

when i got into the dsmp i started a note and wrote down any quotes or moments i thought were funny, and im bored at 3 am so enjoy some of them

how is being arrested real? just walk away!!!”

⁃ “once an american always an american. go...go protests masks...or something”

⁃ “...yEAH BUT DID YOU HAVE WAP” “what’s...whats wap?” “...WORSHIP AND PRAYER”

⁃ “HOW DO YOU LIKE POLITICS MOTHERFUCKER”

⁃ “i’m naked” “...no you’re not” “i can be...”

⁃ “uhhhh i’m in a high stress situation....i deal with these poorly”

⁃ “i should go first i’m naked”

⁃ “yEAHHHH WE KILLED AN OLD MAN WITH HEART PROBLEMS”

⁃ “what are you going to do?” “i...have no idea i think i’m gonna start out by punching a tree”

⁃ “tOmmy...did i just hear you say shit ass looking mofo?”

⁃ “i aM gOinG to gEt nAkeD to iNtiMidAtE HiM”

- “...i want freedom !” “you want BALLS.”

⁃ “...down the line. yeah that’s where we discover the art of cannibalism” “oh it’s an art?” “it’s an art”

⁃ “oh there’s some logs here. wonder what they’re saying to me. uh huh. uh huh. oh yeah that’s very racist” “tommy you gotta burn those logs.” “burn ‘em before they spread their racism to other logs”

⁃ “are you pooing?” “*whisper* i’m charging up-““ “he’s ejaculating on the tent.” “he’s WHAT?”

⁃ “he’s sPEEDING. LOOK HOW FAST HES GOING” “i’ve taken so many drugs. someone tell badboyhalo”

⁃ “we should make a pact. and that pact is, uh, we make a book...and in that book...we declare that saying ‘muffin’ is a, is a slur”

⁃ “i was thinking what if one day your bladder just,,,,stopped working.....AGGGFFFFF i was tHINKING ABOUT THAT THE OTHER DAY IVE GOT TO PREPARE IVE GOT YO PREPARE thisiswhydiapersaintthatbad”

⁃ <sapnap> i think i was ordered to um

<tommyinnit> boobed

<sapnap> kill you

<tommyinnit> boobs

<sapnap> if this happens

<tommyinnit> think about boobs man

<sapnap> tsk tsk tommy

<tommyinnit> iM DISGRUNTLED

⁃ “why is this deadman so good at making drugs”

⁃ “i just learnt that a girl hero is called a heroine and it freaked me out”

⁃ “memento memento me-“ “that’s actually the worst word i know so you can’t keep saying that” “oh, really.....? have you ever heard the term ‘racist’?”

⁃ “the person who invented the phrase ‘be yourself’ hadn’t met you!”

⁃ “you seem like the type of guy whose dad would throw him overboard as a joke but he would just drown”

⁃ “shout out to dream for twerking!”

⁃ “let’s talk......let’s talk about sex” “wonderful. what do you think about sex, lazarbeam?” “i ain’t saying SHIT in front of a sixteen year old”

⁃ “what the- i think i’m seeing things” “....tommy i told you not to drink the sea water” “well i DID drink the sea water because it TOLD ME TO”

⁃ “it’s like the movie when that guy gets stranded on an island and has sex with a coconut” “whAT?? dream- dream, you vastly misinterpreted this” “it one hundred percent does”

⁃ “oh mastICATE.....isn’t that when a fish turns inside out?”

⁃ “what are some bad words YOU know, clay?” “i don’t-“ “what about ‘terrorist’?”

⁃ “my mind has to be on the same frequency as jesus when he walked on water”

⁃ “you wanna know why i was late?” “no i really do-“ “i was having a MASSIVE poo. really just a HUGE poo”

⁃ “jUST CUZ YOU TALK ABOUT POO ONCE AND THEN YOU SEE A BIG GREEN BASTARD AMD YOUR LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE YOUR EYES AND THEN YOU CANT REMEMBER- YOU CANT REMEMBER IF IT WAS YESTERDAY OR TOMORROW YOU HURT THAT WOMAN”

⁃ “i love america. mmmmm patriotism

⁃ “LIFE IS NOT A HAPPY SONG KERMIT THE FROG”

⁃ “please stop taking the cock”

⁃ “two four six eight who do we appreciate? not the government let’s gooooooo”

⁃ “oooo look at the dogs😍” “wHAAAAAT. WHAT. THERES ACTUALLY LIKE. A MILLION DOGS HERE. WHAT THE HELL.”

⁃ “yeahhhhh bitch i stab- i don’t stab women-“ “woooooooah tommy you stab women?” “heyyyy sapnap”

⁃ “do you know what happens whne you reach the top of the ladder? there’s only one place to go.” “.....side to side😨” “down.” “...i really thought you were gonna say side to side🥺”

⁃ “one last time.” “just like in hamilton😓”

⁃ “you don’t know how many times i’ve mistaken trees for hot women”

⁃ “ i don’t feel better i just destroyed penis”

⁃ “i’ve never seen a snail with bad morals”

⁃ “awwwwwwww😢 i’m doin’ drugs🤧 just like the good ol’ days😓” “.....define the ‘good old days’” “back when i did drugs”

⁃ “have you ever fought a baby? i have and it was trivially easy to defeat, phil.”

⁃ “the only other i egg i know about was the one i learnt about in school....not allowed to say which one....”

⁃ “did you know one of my new years resolutions is to be more like 2010 justin bieber?”

⁃ “apparently cats don’t lay eggs”

⁃ “thinking about trees- if i saw a tree with a beard mmmmmm...holy shit id hit it”

⁃ “we’re in hell dude. science doesn’t matter here”

⁃ “i cant die i cant die i’m GOD”

⁃ “hey pig your letter is the same as pussy, hmm?”

⁃ “are we cool are we COOL guys? CRYSTAL COOL like CRYSTAL METH”

⁃ “he- he’s crying because - because i killed his mother isn’t that right? mother dearest mother deadest mother gonest”

⁃ “bro ive been drinking since i was six and let me tell you...it’s not good to be drinking that young. led to some poor life decisions when i was 8” “what did you do” “i cant say” “...who did you hurt” “....only myself”

⁃ “je suis” “ay i know what that mean you prick” “what does it mean” “it means you’re racist dickhead”

⁃ “i’d never poo in the presence of a women- which is why i’m scared to get a girlfriend i think i’d just explode”

⁃ “biff tannen is one of my idols”

⁃ “black widow died and i thought ‘wow it should’ve been the man’ because he’s a man”

⁃ “there’s a character called captain america and i think he’s stupid”

⁃ “i’m a GOOD LAD i’ve got GOOD MORALS and if i’ve DONE SOMETHING WRONG it WASNT MY FAULT I JUST GOT A LITTLE EXCITED”

⁃ “sam....what’s the longest you’ve ever wiped your arse? for me it’s 48 minutes”

⁃ “why are you standing in the shitter?” “....that’s a SINK” “uhhh welllll” “hAVE YOU SHAT IN THE SINK?????”

⁃ “you’re like a living ghost” “...i think that’s called a human, tubbo”

⁃ “maybe i accidentally kill ranboo and we just never see him again *laughs* ay? and then i go ‘april foooools!!!’ and then i kill their child. i kill him”

⁃ “you built a penis” “it’s a PENIS OF SAFETY”

⁃ “i saw the penis of safety and i pressed mouse button four my friend”

⁃ “the penis on the other side of the river is larger” “ive heard that before....”

⁃ “you’ve turned the penis into a wall” “a wall of safety is better than a penis of safety” “i think the penis was better”

⁃ “if you wanna make a penis i know where we can make a penis and i know how big we can make it”

⁃ “i don’t conceptualize death but i think i just saw it!”

⁃ “yeah i- yeah i know i’m- my first impression on eret was making him read a shrek fan fiction so- i’m not one for first impressions”

⁃ “i-i’m scared for him- i’m scared OF him. yknow the first thing he did when he saw me was imMEDIATELY strip down then jump off then immediately die?”

⁃ “where are you?” “getting stabbed, one second”

⁃ “you’ve seen the joker?” “yea-“ “i resonate a lot with that man” “...oH. oh. that’s- that’s not-“

⁃ “he bURNT DOWN MY HOUSE” “out of LOVE”

⁃ “ohhhh my god stop making me play with the neighbor kid” “o-okay if you don’t go play with him i’m kicking you out of the house-“ “wHAT THE FUCK???”

⁃ “there’s a STRIP CLUB” “oh yeah for wood!” “are you into strippers?” “i mean all it does is make the wood look different so....yeah it doesn’t really do much”

⁃ “no no we have categories, we have the poo-saster- you might have to take a shower after-“ “no, no i’m gonna stop you right there”

⁃ “as i was saying you can have a 1-to-3 wiper, that’s an A-tier poo, my friend”

⁃ “i want you to eat your sock”

⁃ “you know i’m a child- i’m a minor” “sO AM I DICKHEAD”

⁃ “everyone is calling you dresus” “yeah i am”

⁃ “ayyyy ayyyy los DROGAS LOS DROGAS” “no no big q- she’s thirteen- how does this happen with every 13 year old girl you meet?”

⁃ “my poo has muscles like i do”

⁃ “i cant hear the words among us without crying they’ll say there are aliens among us and in the back youll just hear me *choking noises*”

⁃ “tubbo...tubbo is like...tubbo is like mary” “.....did you just call me the Virgin Mary?”

⁃ “i’m just saying, have you ever seen me and jesus in the same room?”

⁃ “do you smoke sam” “all the time”

⁃ “i thought you were talking about the- the speeeeed drug”

⁃ “have you ever sold drugs to kids sam?” “......no”

⁃ “we can’t let the girlboss rule because she will gatekeepe my feelings” “that would not be good”

⁃ “THEY DIDNT INVITE ME TO KILL ME???? NOW I HAVE FOMO”

⁃ “you have obviously taken part in scientology-“ “i have not-“ “you’ve donated to tom cruises cult shit”

⁃ “....am i worse than david dobrik?” “are- are we worse than david dobrik?” “oh- oh god”

⁃ “he has broke one of the rules of the hit best seller ‘the bible’- this kind of looks like a cock”

⁃ “well i’ve moved now, KING”

⁃ “what is an angsty teen and am i one? because when i USED to hang out with my friends they use the word angst a lot”

⁃ “yeah yeah yeah i bench”

⁃ “sam i think i’m angsty i think i’m an angsty tik tok teen looking for a community to help me out”

⁃ “i don’t think you’ve followed the train of logic all the way-“ “there’s a TRAIN INVOLVED????????”

⁃ “i’m like the orange fucker from that animated rom com”

⁃ “i’m under the influence of big cock”

⁃ “it’s meeee big cock man”

⁃ “i cant look away” “sam please use your twitter alt for this” “he’s horny on maaaainnnnn” “and what’s wrong with that?” “.......”

⁃ “you’re a FUCKING IDIOT” “IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT, BIG COCK”

⁃ “i’m gonna call you ‘cockity’ big cock” “sHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP-“

⁃ “STOP LOOKING AT IT” “ITS SO VIBRANT”

⁃ “at least this guy doesn’t have a cock-“ “itS NOT A COCK” “horny on main jesus-“

⁃ “is that a cock” “SHUT THE FUCK UP”

⁃ “.....i wanna see the inside of it again do a split”

⁃ “okay sam-“ “tommy that guy wants your cock-“ “no- no he doesn’t sam”

⁃ “sam, sam and i need you to hear this....dont. act. up.” “i don’t act up-“ “you were acting up-“ “i-“ “you were caught in 8k.” “but- but we both agree it’s not a tie-“

⁃ “please don’t tell me to kill cockity i am overwhelmed”

⁃ “why is there an anus in my tie?”

⁃ “what are the legal implications of this?” “...i mean besides hell you’re good”

⁃ “whatre the legal implications?” “i mean usually that’s a no-no but today, today it’s fine” “yeahhh lets go murder his family”

⁃ “i’d be an antivax landlord”

⁃ “jesus never does drugs” “well- well you turned water into wine king and wine is alcohol”

⁃ “can you put on pants i can’t- i cant stop looking at it- sorry tommy i know you said-“ “yeah sam i know you tried-“

⁃ “you know i fuck with satan”

⁃ “i’m sorry jesus lucifer is just such a good man-“ “oh you- hold me BACK FROM THIS FUCKER HOLD ME BACK ILL SEND HIM TO HELL YOU LIKE HELL-“

⁃ “are you jesus or just a man who grew a beard and put on a suit?”

⁃ “even the guy with his cock out is telling you to stop-“ “oh jesus, and i mean jesus-“ “shUT THE FUCK UP MAN”

⁃ “the best best way to slander him is to stop his offspring; we need to kick him the balls.....no? not a good....? alright us four each take a ball-“

⁃ “......why did jesus give him four scrotums man🙁🙁”