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#but can be read as both
seasonal-writes · 2 years
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“old heartbeats die hard” (ao3 link is here!)
pairing: grian / scar cw: none! a quick programming break from our usual team rancher-related postings for a short and sweet scarian/desertduo fic! as i mentioned in the ao3 tags, this can be read as /p or /r, though be aware i did definitely write this with lowkey /r in mind. enjoy, and thanks for reading! ~
Did you know that listening to someone’s heartbeat can have a calming effect on your own heart and breathing pattern?
Grian knows this. And he knows it’s working right now, even if it’s not enough to lull him to sleep quite yet. Though, there is still relief in knowing that one is still thumping away in Scar’s chest. Its pace is still fresh and lively and steady, just how he likes it—even if he’d never say something like that out loud. His ear is pressed up against his chest, rumbling with soft snores and other breathing sounds. But he’s locked on target: the heartbeat.
Ba-bum.. Ba-bum..  
Sleep doesn’t come. He can’t find it in him, just in-case. You never know. No one knows at this point, with how things have been going.  
As his head rests on Scar’s chest, he’s got his arms wrapped tightly around his waist. He’s clinging to the taller figure, and hasn’t let go since he first laid down.
Grian came back from the escapades at the pool party to find Scar asleep on their little make-shift mattress on the floor, just as he said he’d be when Grian left. After a couple soft pokes to the face and arm, Grian knew he was sleeping deeply enough that movement wouldn’t disturb him. So, the little winged man crawled up beside him and practically attached himself to Scar. There was risk of him waking up, asking what he was doing. And Grian knew that after all he’d done the past few days, it wouldn’t be an easy answer on the fly. But he clung to Scar anyway.
He wasn’t planning on finding such an infatuation with his heartbeat, but once he found it, he couldn’t seem to move after that.
The night crawls on, taking its sweet time. But he doesn’t care. He doesn’t mind the silence, or the safety, even if it isn’t their keep.
He can feel Scar’s every move, little twitches and shifts every so often as dreams or sleep cycles take their hold. Grian can’t help but smile, just a little, when he mumbles and even talks occasionally in his sleep. He just listens. Nighttime noises creep in from the outside, with some occasional shouting far in the distance. It feels oddly nostalgic until he remembers where they are. The little space he put together for them isn’t as home-y, but it’s safe and far from everyone else for the time being. They’re both safe.
Scar is safe, he keeps reminding himself.  
He takes a deep breath, his own nerves kicking up when he thinks about the tower earlier that day. The smoke and the panic and the death that surrounded them. They got lucky, he knows that full well. Then there’s that memory again, floating back, the clear image of his soulbound leaping from the side of a tower and plummeting down. Arms too short to grab him, time moving too fast. The loud screams erupting from his throat, which now seems to twinge with a bit of soreness now that he thinks about it.
Just a few seconds of admiration of Scar’s compassion, only for it to be consumed by stress. His stomach drops even as he remembers. He tries to ignore it, leaving his head completely still as he closes his eyes and focuses on the heartbeat.
Ba-bum.. Ba-bum.. Ba-bum..  
There’s flashes of falling from other tall places, all that time ago. More screaming, more devastation. More heartache as the worst was revealed, only for Scar to pop up moments later, shocked but thankful to have another go. Even as Grian was still on his knees, lungs caught in his throat.
He’s so used to it, yet it never does get easier. Now, they share their life source, and it feels even worse. He’s concerned for himself, sure. But Scar. The one who always ends up in his hands. He’s the kicker. The tug on the strings.
Their heartbeats are in sync, and feeling them both nearly stop before the luckiest save he’s ever seen..something like divine intervention, or kismet.. Well, it’s shaken him up a bit.
As the memories flitter in, Grian’s arms squeeze lightly around Scar’s torso. He holds him tighter—desperately—like letting go would mean he’d never be able to keep him this safe again. Like some void would open up and send Scar into another freefall. There is security found when he’s within reach.
He knows that the morning will greet them with separation. The concern for safety poking at the back of his head as the days go on, their hearts stumbling and the phantom pain haunting every misstep or accident. Constant wonder of when the other shoe will drop.. when it’ll suddenly be over and starting again.
Things change when people die, and in this place, it’s so fast. It’s so fast and hard and nerve-wracking, and narrow escapes are the only difference between life and death. And they were lucky. But he wonders if their luck will ever run out. Fate has played such huge roles here. It’s been sticking its fingers in and playing with all of their soulbound strands like ribbon, knotting it and yanking it taut. And it’s exhausting. It brings the two together, like always.
Grian thinks about how he’s not sure if he wanted this, and he’s been so frustrated with what’s been put in front of him that he’s tried his chance at cheating the game. Finding a path that was not laid before him. His own heartbeat starts interrupting the peace, quickening and creating a cacophony of thumps.
Ba-bum, Ba-bum, Ba-bum, Ba-bum!  
“..Grian?” A very low, sleepy voice suddenly asks. Grian freezes. He slowly lifts his head for the first time in hours, looking up at Scar’s face as a bit of soreness spreads across his neck. He can see fairly clearly, even in the dim light of the cave. Scar’s eyes are barely open, squinting at him with a curious glance. He has a slight goofy grin on, as if he knows he’s caught him. Grian’s stopped in his tracks, his mouth hanging agape for a moment. Finally, he speaks. “Sorry.. Do you want me to—” Grian starts to ask, ready to move. Scar doesn’t let him finish his sentence before turning onto his side and scooping Grian into his arms. He wraps him up equally as tight, habitually careful to avoid his wings. His hands rest at just the right place on Grian’s back, as if he knows exactly where to put them, even while half-asleep. The slight grin blooms into a brief, sleepy smile as he closes his eyes again.
“I’m.. glad you made it back..” Scar mumbles, his voice falling off as he falls right back to sleep. Grian’s entire body still feels stiff, suddenly consumed by the hug. He still has his arms wrapped tightly around Scar as well, the nerves having created a rather solid grip on him. He isn’t sure what to do as the seconds pass. He feels.. oddly comforted, now. Like he doesn’t have to hide. Scar knows Grian cares, deep down.
Moments like this are inescapable at the end of the day, and so are Scar’s hugs. But even with his disdain for destiny’s choices, even with the semi-begrudging care and concern for his partner in crime.. Grian doesn’t try to leave. He allows acceptance. He stays, nestling in a bit and pressing his forehead to Scar’s chest.
Scar’s breath slows once again to a relaxed pace, and Grian finds that his own breath does the same. His shoulders relax, the oh-so-familiar warmth enveloping him. He even welcomes it. The silence returns, the heartbeat no longer right in his ear. It feels a little sad without the sound for a moment, but the loneliness in his senses disperses quickly.
That safe feeling finally reaches him, too. He feels at enough ease to sleep, his eyelids suddenly feeling heavy before he starts to drift off. He can still feel Scar’s chest rising and falling. He’s still breathing, still safe.
There is an acknowledgement. A silent agreement between them. Whatever comes next, even as the last of their kind, can be tackled together. If they don’t make it to the end, or even if they do.. it’s together. He doesn’t have to face it alone.
Suddenly, tomorrow doesn’t feel so dreadful.
And two heartbeats fall into sync. Fresh and steady and lively—just how Grian likes it.
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autumn-may · 9 months
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Mostly spoiler free summary of my viewing experience
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cammy-mcspammy · 27 days
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My interpretation on how human bill came to be, ig? (ALSO SORRY, I MEANT DD&MD.. or idk how to abbreviate it)
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notbecauseofvictories · 5 months
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I'm re-reading the Discworld series for reasons, and honestly the most relatable part of reading these as an adult is how many of the protagonists start out being tired, used to their little routine and vaguely disgruntled by the interruption of the Plot. Sam Vimes wants to lie drunk in a gutter and absolutely doesn't want to be arresting dragons. Rincewind is yanked into every situation he's ever encountered, though he'd much rather be lying in a gutter too. (Minus the alcohol. Plus regretting everything he's ever done said witnessed or even heard about fourth-hand in his whole life.) Granny Weatherwax is deeply suspicious of foreign parts and that includes the next town over; Nanny has leaned into the armor of "nothing ever happens to jolly grannies who terrorize their daughters-in-law and make Saucy Jokes"
Only the young people don't seem to have picked up on this---and that's fortunate, because someone has to run around making things happen, if only so Vimes and Granny and Rincewind have a reason to get up (complaining bitterly the whole time) and put it all to rights. Without Carrot, Margrat, Eric, etc. these characters don't have that reason; they're likely to stay in the metaphorical gutter and keep wondering where it all went wrong or why anything has to change.
............well, that's not quite true. You get the sense that Vetinari knows how much certain people hate the Plot. And as the person sitting behind the metaphorical lighting board of Ankh-Morpork, he takes no small pleasure in forcing the Plot-haters specifically to stand up, and say some lines.
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llamahearted · 4 months
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two people will go through similar things & learn to cope in different ways
print ♥︎ song
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inkskinned · 1 year
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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emilnikos · 1 month
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ok now that we're done with all that lets go make potions (mabel juice)
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minipisi-is-dumb · 3 months
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"just ask" comic ive been working on this week :))))))))))) I'm so happy I finished!!!!!
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ruporas · 8 months
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vw sketches (id in alt)
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greykolla-art · 6 months
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Quick Radiorose doodle.❤️
I accidentally went two days without drawing anything and that is a federal crime.
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aaronwarner · 4 months
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Maxton Hall: The World Between Us
S01E03: Exposed
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commsroom · 5 months
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the u.s.s. horrible unending nightmare 💥 (once again from the incredible @hehearse)
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milkbreadtoast · 7 months
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choose your protag..... YOU COULD WRITE A SUPER LONG META ESSAY COMPARING/CONTRASTING THESE 2 BUT I WANTED TO MAKE A SHITPOST FORGIVE ME🤧✌️
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dukeofthomas · 18 days
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"Are the Robins child soldiers" It depends. If the story is super serious and into exploring complex morality and grounded from reality's standards, then yes. If the story is lighthearted, made for children, fluff, etc., then no. If it's somewhere in the middle, it might depend.
If an author wants to write a story seriously delving into the fucked up-ness of children fighting criminals, they can, and if you don't like it, you can read something else.
If an author wants to write a fun story about villains and heroes featuring Robin in a world where that's not an issue, they can, and if you don't like it, you can read something else.
If an author wants to write a serious story but not apply IRL-logic to Robin, they can, and if you don't like it, you can read something else.
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houseswife · 7 months
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practically emanating
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some misc Barn & Wally doodles from the past week or so <3 i heart them
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