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ladyloveandjustice · 3 years

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Spring 2021 anime overview: Quick Takes

Now for my Spring 2021 anime thoughts! I’ve decided from now on if a season’s like, 20- to-24 episodes I’m just going to wait ‘til it’s done to review it unless I feels super passionately, so though I watched To Your Eternity (it’s good!) and MHA (eh), I’ll comment on them next time. Also, for the record, I watched the first eight eps of Joran: Princess and Snow of Blood but I dropped it because it had clearly crossed the line from entertainingly dumb to boring dumb.

I will probably give Supercub and some other stuff a shot later, this was a stacked season! May give updates on all that later, but this is what I have for now.

ODDTAXI

Quick Summary: A mild mannered middle-aged walrus taxi driver is drawn into a case involving a missing girl, yakuza, Youtube clout-chasers, manzai comedians and idols with big secrets.

It’s rare to walk away from media and be like “that is a singular experience I will definitely never see repeated again” but ODDTAXI is definitely one of those. A tense noir thriller murder mystery starring cartoon animals that spends an entire episode detailing the one (cat)man’s very fall into darkness triggered by addiction to gacha games and an online auction for a novelty eraser? Also there’s a porcupine Yakuza who speaks entirely in rap? Also there’s tons of meandering conversations about stuff like manzai comedy and the struggle to go viral on Twitter?

Admittedly, I had a hard time getting into the first episode, the dry meandering humor not being enough to hold my attention while I was sitting still, but once I watched this while I was working out at the end of the season, I found it an easy binge. A ton of characters with dark secrets or dangerous ambitions, each with their own part to play in a tableau of intersecting events- and it all actually comes together really well.(As for the female characters, it’s a pretty dude driven story, but they do get nuanced characterization and even some good heroic moments from one of them.)

It’s a great example of a carefully planned narrative paying off, with all the twists appropriately seeded and foreshadowed to reward viewers who paid attention. Even when it ended on a perfect “OH SHIT” moment and denied me closure, I couldn’t help but respect it. If you that all sounds interesting to you, definitely check out the first couple episodes and see if you like it- you’re likely to have a memorable, satisfying experience!

Shadows House

Quick Summary: Emilyko is a ‘living doll’ who’s told she was created to act as the ‘face’ of her shadow master, Kate. The shadows and their ‘dolls’ all reside on the mansion and are required to pass a ‘debut’ to prove they’re a good pairing. If they don’t pass, they might be disposed of. And so the mystery of the Shadow mansion grows...

This slice of gothic intrigue was my favorite of the season, tied with ODDTAXI. With an interesting premise, slightly tense undertones and a strong focus on character building and relationships, it kept me hooked the whole way through. And for any squeamish fans put off by the hype about it, don’t worry, while there are some suspenseful elements, I wouldn’t qualify it as horror. I thought the relationship between Kate and Emilyko might end up being a completely sinister one, but it’s thankfully a lot more complex than that and it’s really interesting to follow how both their characters and relationship grow. The focus of the show is, unsurprisingly, on the “dolls” slowly discovering their autonomy and personhood as they struggle under the rigid system imposed on them by the mysterious elders of this weird Victorian mansion. Can they develop a more equitable relationship with their shadow “masters” (who are also shown to suffer under this system)? There’s a lot to dig into there, and the show has the characters develop through learning to understand and appreciate each other, which is pretty heartwarming. Our hero, Emilyko, is the typical plucky ball of sunshine (they even nickname her sunshine), but she’s also shown to be clever in her own off-the-wall way and she bounces off the far more subdued and cynical Kate well, not to mention the other ‘dolls’ she ends up befriending.

What’s more, the show spends plenty of time to developing several other character pairings and combinations, and they all have their own interesting dynamic that makes you want to see more of them. Same-gender bonds are at the forefront of this show, and many of them are ripe for queer readings (I definitely appreciated the healthy helping of ladies carrying ladies), but even outside that it’s nice to see a show where a strong, complex bond between girls is at the forefront. My only real complaints about the show are the anime original ending is noticeably a bit rushed (though it’s not too bad, and leaves room for a season 2) and I wish the animation used the whole “shadow” theme more strikingly (like the opening and endings do)- instead the colors are a bit washed out which makes the shadows blend into the background sometimes. The “debut” arc also drags a bit in places, but it makes up for it by having a lot of good character integration.

I hope to check out the (full color)! manga soon and see more of this quirky, shadowy story. There’s some physical abuse depicted, sad things happening to characters and naturally the whole “oppressive familial system” thing, but otherwise not much I can think of to warn about. I give this one a big rec, especially If you’re a fan of gothic fairytales and stories of self discovery.

Zombie Land Saga Revenge

Quickest summary: In this sequel season, everyone’s favorite zombie idol group must claw their way back into prominence after a disastrous show- the fate of the Saga prefecture LITERALLY depends on it!

This was a fun follow-up to the first season- if you liked the first zombie-girl romp, you’ll probably enjoy this one. In fact, there were a couple areas it improved on- namely, Kotaro failed, ate crow and embarrassed himself a lot more this season, which made him more likeable (as did the fact the girls gained a lot of independence from him). This season also shed more light on what the ‘goal’ of this zombie raising project is and what kind of shit Kotaro got involved with to make this happen, and it’s appropriately off-the-wall and ridiculous. We finally got some backstory for Yugiri too! I wish it had focused on more of her interiority, but she got to be a badass in it, and it was a treat to see this zombie idol show turn into a period piece for a couple episodes (also her song ruled).

Tae also got a cute focus episode and there was a particular SMASHING performance early on! Also That revelation last season that had the potential to turn creepy hasn’t yet, and hopefully never will. The finale was heartwarming with big hints of more drama to come- I’m definitely down for more zombie hijinks!

Vivy: Flourite Eye’s Song

Quickest Summary: A songstress AI named DIVA (nicknamed Vivy) is approached by another AI named Matsumoto, who says he’s from the future and they must work together to prevent AI exterminating all of humankind 100 years from now.

This show is absolutely gorgeous visually with some really nice action scenes, but when it comes to the story my feelings basically amount to a shrug. It’s fine! I guess! Vivy starts out as an interesting layered character- and I guess still is by the end- with her stoic but stubborn determination bouncing off her fast-talking bossy partner Matsumoto well. She never listens to him, which is delightful. The way the show took place over the course of 100 years was an interesting conceit as well. However, it bought up a lot of themes and then sort of... dropped them. For instance, Vivy interprets her mission (PRIME DIRECTIVE if you will) as protecting humans at all costs, no matter how destructive said humans are or what their fate is supposed to be, and is perfectly willing to murder her fellow androids to do this, showing she inherently thinks of androids (herself and her own people!) as less worthy. Which is a little alarming! There’s a very dramatic point in the show where they bring this up as a potential conflict for her character but then it’s sort of...dropped. Pretty much.

Actually, despite the premise, the show doesn’t dip into the “AI rights” as much as you think it would with the main theme being more about Vivy’s search to find her own creativity and discover what it means to ‘pour your heart into something’. Vivy herself doesn’t actually care if she has rights or anything. Which is in some ways fine, because ‘AI as an oppressed class’ has been done to death, but IT’S ALSO KIND OF IN THE PREMISE, so that means that the show just shrugs really hard at a lot of the questions it brings up basically just going “humans and AI should work together probably” and that’s it. There’s a lot that feels underexplored. The antagonists in the show also either have motivations that don’t really make sense or have boring hackneyed motivations. In the finale in particular, it feels like a lot of things happen “just because” and it falls a little flat.

I also have to warn that one of the arcs focus on a robot ‘pairing’ where the dude-coded robots actions toward his partner are straight up awful and rob her of her autonomy, but it’s played like a tragic love story. I suppose you could read it differently too, but it definitely made me go ‘ew’ the story seemed to want me to sympathize with this robo dude,

Overall, I wouldn’t anti-recommend this show, it’s an all right little sci-fic romp (and definitely SUPER pretty). My favorite element was definitely the episodes where Vivy develops an entirely new (an loveable) personality, because it played with the idea of of an AI getting “rebooted” really well and interplay between her two “selves” was done really well. But there are a lot of other parts of the show that just feel...a little underexplored and empty, making me have an ‘eh’ feeling on the show overall. It’s definitely an ambitious project, and while it didn’t quite stick the landing, there’s something to be said for a show that shoots for the stars and falls short over a show that just languishes in mediocrity.

Fruits Basket The Final

Quick summary: The final season of that dramatic drama about that weird family with a zodiac curse and the girl who loves them.

It’s very weird that after not cutting a lot out, they kinda sped through some material for, you know, the finale. I guess they thought they couldn’t stretch this final arc to 26 episodes? Or weren’t cleared for another double cour? However, though there were a couple places that felt awkward, despite being a bit condensed it mostly held together pretty well for a D R A M A T I C and ultimately heartwarming conclusion. I was really disappointed they kept the part where Ritsu cut their hair for the ‘happy ending’, I thought their intro episode not showing them in men’s clothes meant the anime had decided their presentation didn’t need to be “fixed” but WELL I GUESS NOT. That was the only big upset for me though, otherwise the adaptation went about how I expected, sticking to the source material. Furuba has a lot of bumps, from weird age gap stuff to ...gender, but it also has a lot of important feels and great character arcs. It was a gateway shoujo for many and has its important place in animanga history, so I’m glad it finally got a shiny, full adaptation.

#anime overview #spring 2021 anime #shadows house #oddtaxi #zombie land saga #fruits basket #vivy: fluorite eye's song #zombie land saga revenge #fruits basket the final #anime #my reviews #long post

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ruby-whistler · 3 years

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Srry but i noticed in one of ur dream posts u Referred to tommy's cat as hope. I must correct u, that cat was born pussbou and died pussboi. /lh Also tommy killing that cat was nothing compared to dream killing mushroom henry in exile btw just wanna say Also for ur posts about dreams trauma or wilbur manipulating him can u provide links to vods or other proof? Srry if i seem rude i mean that in a "genuinely curious way"

Aaa sorry if my ask came off as rude im just genuinely curious :(((

hi! dw, you don't seem rude at all, and i'm extremely happy someone with a different perspective has found my blog! i really appreciate that sort of attitude and am happy to answer :]

/dsmp /rp

the cat was called pussboy by tommy, but dream only called it "the cat" and then said that "it was hope", which is why it sort of became a symbol (his hope is dead, basically) - that's why i kind of made its name capitalized, because it was more of a metaphor than anything.

most c!dream fans call the cat hope because it's just really nice and really symbolic, and also really sad when you think about it. that's why the name was used in the essay, just to clear up the confusion!

tommy killing that cat was nothing compared to dream killing mushroom henry in exile

i don't really think so? mooshroom henry was entertainment more than anything, and even if it was bad, when watching the stream i don't remember seeing him mourn that much - on the other hand, dream was very quickly and very obviously attached to the cat, with it being his only companion in months of isolation, along with the hope that even when tommy left it would keep him company.

keep in mind c!dream has been deprived of stimuli and human contact for so long it's officially classified as psychological torture at that point.

i don't mean to compare trauma or even compare deaths - because honestly, what c!dream and c!tommy have gone through individually is incomparable and i think neither should be diminished in favor of the other since they're both terrible situations.

that's why i disagree that it "was nothing compared to" - it had an obvious effect on c!dream, and was still c!tommy killing an animal specifically to hurt him, no matter what reasons he had.

when i'm talking about effects people's actions have had on c!dream, i'm not talking about those people. i'm talking about him. :) /lh

as for the trauma, a lot of people agree that a lot of the things he says or does are trauma responses, and hence it's very possible that he's had trauma before he went into prison!

this includes being repeatedly called a tyrant via propaganda by about half of your friends who decided to betray you, trying to keep peace and being pushed deeper into villainy instead, repeatedly being put in between a rock and a hard place in order to make sure the people you care about don't start killing each other, then being betrayed by your closest friends after merely trying to keep peace (sapnap & george) and just in general having no control over your life or image and grasping at straws to gain it back.

i know a lot of people with trauma who heavily relate to certain trauma responses, which aren't always just shaky breaths and flashbacks, but trauma often also manifests itself in extremely ugly and destructive ways, both inwardly and outwardly.

trying to control the people around you is also very often a response to going through trauma, as well as emotional repression which is... rather evident on c!dream during season two. it only seems to get worse with repeated abandonment.

in the end, during the vault scene, the way he acts really just isn't at all the way a healthy person would act, and a lot of his really bad mindsets come from the way he was taught by the world around him.

the character is very reserved however, and since we don't have his pov we can't really say for certain - a lot of people claim it in good faith because they have a lot of evidence for it, and i think they're certainly valid in that.

that is just before the prison, however. from what happened during the prison arc? there is no denying he's traumatized at this point.

he's been emotionally and physically abused by c!sam since the very beginning of being imprisoned, and being in solitary confinement for over two weeks is generally considered psychological (and maybe also physical?) torture. that alone shows up in a lot of symptoms of his mental deterioration while in pandora's during people's visits, and quackity's "sessions" just absolutely drove the point home.

what he's gone through during this arc is absolutely incomparable to anything others charactes have faced before, and it's just plain suffering being endured by someone who is, despite everything, still a human being.

as for the wilbur manipulation thing!! it's talking about the whole vassal scene (though even beforehand a lot of their interactions are pretty iffy), and here's a post about that :]

I also have a small question about the analysis u last reblogged cus it says "why dream needed lmanburg gone rightfully" and like. The house analogy is poor because for one cus the land is infinite. And 2 cus punz's yard was literally larger then lmanburg. And also stuff about dream being a mediator? Can u provide examples?

i wouldn't say it was poor. dream's said a lot of times that he didn't care in the slightest about the land - a lot of his problems with l'manberg arose with the fact that wilbur basically built it on lies and tried to disallow half of the server to come there. c!dream was mad about the division and the fact that wilbur wanted "freedom" to have authority in his lands - over others, as can be seen in this post also.

the table analogy was fitting not because dream was some overlord, but because these were literally friends he invited to hang out and live in a place he wanted to call home. claiming a part of it for yourself and saying people of a certain nationality can't come in is directly opposing those goals.

in the early days of the smp, dream's always been a mediator between his friends - sapnap and george, who would often get into fights and go around killing each other! he would always do his best to stop the conflict, which continued after tommy joined when he took him to court and then later tried to mediate conflicts he was a part of, which resulted in tommy killing him unprovoked, stealing his gear, and starting the disc wars when dream was trying to get his stuff back. later, during pogtopia, he is also most concerned with peace over everything, and this seems to continue indefinitely after.

Today i was thinking about how messed up the final control room was. Like. Dream arranged the betrayal and punz and sapnap killed tommy and tubbo who like. Were literal children and their pals (because the author, wilbur soot, is dead/j but srsly if u take the streamers words tommy said he was 9 during the revolution sooo)

Sorry im gonna ramble about how dumb canon ages are for a second cus like. Streamers can say the characters are one way or another (wilbur saying he is mentally 30-something, etc.) But in the end the characters act like they(or at least their streaming personas) do.

i... honestly don't find it that bad? they were in a war, and the final control room was basically just supposed to end it quicker. the l'manbergians made it clear they were going to fight to the death, so they really left c!dream no other choice. and it's not like he didn't give them chances to give up.

also yeah the 9 year old thing was retconned, because in that case c!dream would've been 14 and i don't think that's true.

c!tommy and c!dream were both young and once again, in a war. the final control room was an attempt to assure victory, which both sides would've taken if possible, but only c!dream saw he had the option.

i do agree the whole child soldier thing was bad but... complain about that to c!wilbur, methinks. he talked naive kids into fighting for his personal power. however, the age argument isn't really valid either way. they had enough agency to sign up for it, and whether or not c!wilbur pushing the intense nationalism onto them had something to do with that is another debate entirely.

Bacl to final control room cus like??? Also fun fact punz took 2 of wilbur's canon lives. And like that probably is what started wilbur's paranoia which later lead to his spiral and i. Many thoughts full of lmanburg today.

i'm pretty sure cc!wilbur said what lead to c!wilbur's spiral was a "dark, twister view of possessions" and "disregard for his fellow citizen whom he claimed to love so much", but i really wouldn't say it was the control room; if anything the sudden loss of power after the elections seems to me like the trigger for his spiral.

I watched the exile arc live and. I feel dirty almost for feeling little to no sympathy for c!dream (srry ive been forgetting to add that aa) because of his actions toward c!tommy and like. The whole probation was so humiliating and unfair and c!dream was planning to frame him for the crimes he and puffy did under the the guise of "pranks" and c!quackity was planning to seize the vice president role.

i mean... to be fair, if you didn't watch the prison arc much yet or only watch tommy's perspective i understand not feeling that sympathetic - however, i encourage you to maybe watch a few prison visits, since they could help you see the whole picture better!

i also watched it live, and i also thought it was terrible, but i share very much the same sentiment for the prison arc because. absolutely no one should have to go through either of those things, you know?

i don't think probation was that humiliating? he was just. being asked to not start conflict with the other factions for two weeks. of course, what happened as a result is in no way justified, but i don't think probation itself would've been bad at all. either way yeah the framing and c!quackity's behaviour was. very yikes, i agree.

Also c!tommy antis are dumb because they say "he deserved exile angry emoji" i dont see u saying that about ranboo. Just say you hate cc!tommy and go. Also people say c!tommy was just as toxic to c!dream and i??? No. One is the victim and one is the abuser and like. :/// man. This part is rambly srry

i wouldn't say they hate cc!tommy? cc!tommy has a persona who people think is annoying at first ( but then they subscribe because he is super entertaining big man! ) but a lot of c!tommy's actions are straight up toxic to certain characters, such as c!funndy and c!jack. he has a very dismissive attitude towards others and their trauma and it does affect the people around them very negatively.

examples; his repeated bullying and behavior towards fundy:

Tommy: “Fundy, I’m just here to kinda let you know that I – if you weren’t Wilbur’s son, you would be out of L’manburg, alright? Just remember – you need to keep that relationship with your father. I saw how asshole-y and bratty you were acting in the courtroom the other night. You need to pull your shit together young man.”

......

Fundy: “I’m wearing glasses…are you making fun of my eyesight?!”

Tommy: “Yes.”

Sapnap: “Your father would be very disappointed.”

Fundy: “Wh – disappointed for wearing glasses?!”

Tommy: “You got glasses, like what are you wearing…”

Fundy: “What do you mean?”

Tommy: “Sapnap, Sapnap, over here. Fundy, Fundy, Fundy, I’m really sorry to say this – I’m just here to publicly denounce you.”

Fundy: “…What?”

( credit for transcript: @/findingjoynweirdstuff )

he's also responsible for a big chunk of c!jack's trauma, both with actions and words, and that's why i think certain people might dislike the character, and i don't think that's wrong of them. anyone can dislike any character they want if they don't attack people for liking them, in my opinion.

also c!tommy was most definitely toxic against c!dream in the cell. it's of course understandable but that doesn't change the fact he was constantly hitting and insulting him (without dream doing anything back for a long while until he snapped) which is toxic behaviour.

i wouldn't say he was "just as" though, so i agree with you on that. they're different and they behave differently.

i made a dream blob keychain today. Is it possible to send images if u wanna see? Idk cus i havent used tumblr before. I think that's all for now. Thx for letting me talk :D peepoShy -curious anon (but fr a connoreatspants c!dream redemption arc would be cool)

yooo that's cool! i don't really,,, know if it's possible to send images? try it out and if it isn't i'll try find a way to turn it on.

also, no problem! just please remember this is a c!dream sympathetic blog, and me as well as my followers are uhh,, oftentimes emotionally attached / personally relate to the character, so if you could avoid sending hate on the character (not that you have or that i expect you to, just a friendly reminder) in the asks that would be great! we already see a lot of it unwillingly so, i'd rather not see more, but as long as the discussion is civil i'm absolutely ok with you asking more and with me answering more questions if you'd want to! :)

if anyone else would like to reblog this and add some things i might've missed with my answers, feel free to, just go easy on her (she uses she/her pronouns!) and keep it factual.

i hope u had a good or at least ok time at school today :D

thanks! i gtg now because exam tomorrow but i'm going to try write the redemption essay tomorrow as well because ohhh boy i have a lot of ideas about what all i could write around the concept.

also sorry this was long, i can't keep my tongue on the leash :[

#c!tommy critical #c!wilbur critical #my asks #curious anon #long post #history #tw torture #tw manipulation

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wri0thesley · 3 years

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many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn

Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity

ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!!

Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making

i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!

Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.

ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn

Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.

gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;

Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕

honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3.

Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?

hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3

Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.

i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest.

Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday

dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof.

Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.

extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!!

Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!

ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!

Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~

Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)

Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.

hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’.

i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring.

anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3

Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!

thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3

Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.

this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3

Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u

ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.

Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)

i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3

Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.

honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3

honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3

Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!

honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_;

Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖

ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3

Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!

to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(.

Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!

anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess!

Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!

wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that.

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end

HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!).

Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.

ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3

Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!

i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3

Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon

i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3

#nat.txt

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feralphoenix · 4 years

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BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE NOT PREPARED TO TRY

if you’re following my blog or if you read my fanfiction, you may have seen me talking in tags or comments about how the radiance hollowknight was a pacifist. “feral, wtf?” you may have thought. “she’s the freaking final boss and tries really, really hard to kill you and all her attacks do 2 entire masks damage. where on earth do you get pacifism out of that???”

to you specifically i say, that’s an understandable reaction! the short version of how i got here was that i started thinking about the story implications of radi not inflicting contact damage and took a deep dive into game mechanics and lore. when i came up for air i had made myself Very Sad.

if this intrigues you and you would like to know more, come along with me, i am happy to point out the things i noticed and share the Big Sad around.

this essay is also available on dreamwidth for accessibility purposes, since my layout’s text may be too small for folks on pc with high-res screens.

CONTENT WARNING: This essay discusses pseudo-zombie plagues and associated body horror, colonialism and genocide, horrible things that happened in real life Australian history... you know, the usual topics that come up when I’m talking about Hollow Knight.

ADDITIONAL NOTICE: TPK fans of the “TPK meant well/was working for the greater good”/“TPK and Radi are equally bad”/“TPK is bad but Radi is worse” variety please give this one a pass, it ain’t for you.

finally if youre from a christian cultural upbringing (whether currently practicing, agnostic/secular, or atheist now), understand that some of what i’m discussing here may challenge you. if thinking thru the implications of this particular part of hollow knight worldbuilding/lore is distressing for you, PLEASE only approach this essay when youre in a safe mindset & open to listening, and ask the help of a therapist or anti-racism teacher/mentor to help you process your thoughts & feelings. just like keep in mind that youre listening to an ethnoreligiously marginalized person and please be respectful here or wherever else youre discussing this dang essay

BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE NOT PREPARED TO TRY: The Radiance Doesn’t Deal Contact Damage And That’s Kind Of Fucked Up And Sad

The vast majority of hostile creatures in Hollow Knight deal contact damage: This is to say, if the Wandering Knight (who I’ll probably spend most of this essay calling by their affectionate fan name Ghost) touches a hostile creature, this harms them.

There are exceptions to this rule. The most notable and most oft-memed example is the game’s literal actual true final boss, the Radiance. Not only will Ghost not be harmed by running into any part of her body, but during her stagger animation, where she drops to the boss arena floor on her front with her whole body splayed out, Ghost still isn’t harmed if she lands on top of them! What’s more, this holds true for her full-power form Absolute Radiance, the secret final boss of the Godmaster quest/endings.

A lot of people find this amusing, because it’s a little absurd that a game’s final boss is an exception to such a consistent element of gameplay! Hence all the “haha moth too soft and fluffy for contact damage” jokes. It is objective facts that Radi is very soft and very fluffy, so it’s very easy to understand why people don’t overthink this too much.

Thinking about things I like in gross detail is unfortunately my hobby. When it comes to Hollow Knight this usually leads to me making myself really sad. I’d like to share the fruits of my theorizing with the class, so other people can be sad with me.

Now, from a game design perspective I can think of a lot of reasons why Team Cherry chose for Radiance not to inflict contact damage. Her hitbox only covers the central part of her body. Her limbs are large, so because of the way she floats, if she did contact damage she would be protected from nail strikes from below and to either side. This would give a player who prefers nail combat a punishingly small margin through which they could inflict damage without also taking a hit, potentially forcing them to adapt to a new and unfamiliar play style at the very end of the game. That’s not fun for anybody and tends to make players feel very frustrated.

In addition to this, Radiance’s attacks are all bullet hell-style spells. All of them except the floor hazards inflict two masks of damage, meaning if you want to stay alive and identify points where it’s possible to heal, you need to learn the spell patterns and dodge a lot. Radi is a large boss. If running into her hurt you this would make the bullet hell elements of her fight extra punishing.

So, I think the purely game mechanics reason for Moth Too Soft And Fluffy is in interest of keeping her boss fight fair, and helping players feel like they have a chance of actually defeating her.

Part of why we all love Hollow Knight, though, is that there’s not much in the game that only exists for purely mechanical reasons. There’s always some form of story or lore integration.

So what on earth is the story reason behind why Radiance doesn’t deal contact damage?

OTHER ENEMIES THAT DON’T DEAL CONTACT DAMAGE

Radi isn’t the only enemy (here defined as fightable/killable creature) in Hollow Knight who doesn't inflict contact damage, so let’s take a look at her fellow exceptions to the rule to see what we can learn.

Broadly speaking there are two categories of Enemies That Don’t Deal Contact Damage. The first is enemies or bosses who used to be hostile, but have become friendly to the player. For instance, when characters like Ogrim and Hornet are not being fought in boss battles, touching them won’t cause damage to Ghost. These story characters who Ghost has more or less reconciled with can’t be damaged by the player out of combat either.

In terms of generic enemies who used to be hostile but have become friendly to the player, we have the mantises of the Fungal Wastes and the Siblings/Ghost’s Shade. We learn from the game’s lore that the mantises Did Not Like The Pale King and were hostile to Hallownest, but that they established a ceasefire conditional on their keeping the people of Deepnest (who were also hostile to Hallownest) from leaving through the area’s main entrance/exit in the Fungal Wastes - essentially the two native kingdoms were pitted against one another by the Pale King.

Now, just because there was a ceasefire, that doesn’t mean the mantises take kindly to Hallownest bugs brazenly trespassing into their dang house; they will get in your face and try to kill you unless you have permission to be there. But once you’ve defeated the Mantis Lords in combat and proven yourself worthy of the mantises’ respect, they’ll let you pass through their turf unmolested. They are no longer actively hostile and don't deal contact damage.

(You're still able to attack them, though - maybe because you’d be locked out of receiving the Hunter’s Mark if you complete the Respect quest/achievement before you’ve successfully killed enough mantises? - and if you attack them, or if your pet charm familiars attack them, any mantises you aggroed will fight back and deal contact damage again.)

The Siblings, as well as Ghost’s Shade, are initially indiscriminately hostile. Our window into Shade psychology is limited, but we know that the Shade died violently and the Siblings probably did too; they may be lashing out. They’re also Void creatures, and Ghost looks a lot like the Pale King, whom we can guess from context clues pissed the Void off significantly by using it as his personal play-doh to make tools and toys with and also using its house as his personal garbage dump for baby corpses.

However, once Ghost recalls their past and breaks the mask of the Kingsoul charm to reveal the Void Heart at its core, the Void recognizes them as a part of it, and Ghost becomes able to direct/lead the Void to some extent. As an extension of this, the Siblings and Ghost’s shade become docile and can now be killed by any weapon in one hit instead of just the Dream Nail (which is made of Radiance’s Light and is the Void’s natural weakness). They don’t deal contact damage anymore either.

That’s it for “enemies that inflict contact damage at one point, but stop inflicting it after becoming friendly or neutral to Ghost”.

The generic enemies which don't inflict contact damage include shrumelings, maggots, maskflies, and lightseeds/lifeseeds. These enemies are incapable of inflicting any damage on Ghost whatsoever, because by themselves they are completely helpless entities with no natural defenses.

Shrumelings are infant members of the mushroom clan who are usually protected by adult fungi like shrumal warriors and ogres. Lightseeds and lifeseeds are harmless single-celled organisms. Maskflies are similarly harmless. Maggots, we glean from the Hunter’s Journal and dialogue from False Knight/Failed Champion, are the bottom rung of Hallownest’s society because they are weak and helpless, and are forced into menial and slave labor by other Hallownest bugs because they cannot defend themselves. The maggots’ plight is the whole reason why False Knight/Failed Champion stole Hegemol's armor in the first place, as he wanted to protect his people.

All of these enemies flee when Ghost approaches them. (Some maskfly groups’ flight triggers are set to specific areas on a map and won’t flee if you can avoid stepping on/passing through those areas, but this is clearly due to a programming oversight because their whole Thing is running away.)

But, there’s something interesting to be observed in the case of lightseeds and maggots: They can fight back against and harm Ghost if they use tools. The little flock of lightseeds you chase around the Ancient Basin eventually get sick of Ghost’s shit and take over Broken Vessel/Lost Kin’s corpse, which they puppet around to try to murder you. By doing so they gain access to Broken Vessel/Lost Kin’s considerable combat prowess and become very dangerous, contact damage included in the bargain. (The lightseeds’ doing this seems to evoke the vessel’s spirit, since they reach for Ghost when defeated. That’s not a gesture the lightseeds have any reason to make. The Lost Kin fight, by which the spirit seems to gain some form of closure, becomes available here too.)

False Knight/Failed Champion’s fights work on the same general principle. Now that he has a weapon he can attack Ghost, and his armor deals contact damage. The maggot inside the armor does not inflict contact damage; essentially both his boss fights consist of your whacking the armor until he’s stunned and pops out of the armor for a moment so you can hit his vulnerable real body, which is the only part of him that yields Soul when you smack him. In fact, his boss fights will last forever if you let him recover from being stunned on his own.

Between these two groups, Radiance very obviously doesn’t fit in the first, as she’s the final boss and is very vigorously trying to kill Ghost with various magic spells. You can tell from her Dream Nail dialogue that she’s furious about what the Pale King did to her and her people, and is afraid for her life. She is willing to use everything at her disposal to try to destroy Ghost so she can survive, go free, and get revenge for the Pale King’s crimes. If she could do contact damage to Ghost she would.

So, the only logical conclusion to make is that Radi falls into the second group of enemies that don’t inflict contact damage. She is physically incapable of causing any harm to anyone with only her body. Her magic is deadly as all get out and the 2 masks damage explosion noise probably haunts the nightmares of anyone who’s struggled fighting her, but without it she is helpless.

WHY CAN’T RADIANCE DO CONTACT DAMAGE?

It might be pretty hard to reconcile the fact that a character with Audre Lorde energy as potent as Radi Hollowknight’s is has a whopping 0 ATK. The biggest clues we get in terms of story context for her inability to inflict physical harm of any kind can be found within the culture of the moth tribe, who were her people.

Thistlewind, the backer-designed moth ghost who can be found in the Resting Grounds, tells you that the majority of moths were pacifists, and that individuals like them and like Markoth who learned to wield a nail were in the minority. Thistlewind appears to have learned to fight as a means of self-defense while they explored the crater area, and describes Markoth as having done so in order to “[brave] the edges of this world, hoping to uncover a truth long forgotten”. It sounds to me like Markoth was trying to recover parts of moth culture that were lost when their tribe was assimilated into Hallownest, or maybe even searching for Radiance or trying to learn what happened to her. (Judging that his corpse is hidden behind one of the Pale King’s shade gates it seems this didn’t go well. Thanks TPK.)

As far as fighting moths go there’s Marmu too, but she seems to be a special case, possibly raised in Hallownest's culture instead of with her tribe. We don’t actually get any sort of canon explanation for how a baby moth wound up as a child soldier who died defending the Queen’s Gardens, but given the overall tone of Hollow Knight as a game and all the colonization/Australian history parallel subtext, some horrifying possibilities come to mind.

So, if Thistlewind, Markoth, and Marmu are Outliers Lepidoptera and should not be counted, how did the majority of moths spend their time? According to Seer, who knows more about the tribe’s history than most (and to Quirrel, who points you to her if you defeat Uumuu before picking up the Dream Nail), the moths’ main prerogative was cultivating and developing dream magic. From the way the Seer describes dreams as a living history as you collect Essence, dream magic seems to be a parallel to the Dreaming (or Dreamtime), a spiritual concept in Indigenous Australian religion related to both history and myth.

To translate this into simple terms, the moths were by and large pacifists whose culture celebrated art, history, and spirituality.

Team Cherry tends to adapt at least some aspects of real-life bug behavior and biology into their sad cartoon bugs, so moths-as-pacifists tracks: Real moths do not really have any way to fight. They defend themselves from predators via their mobility and their markings, which tend towards either camouflage that helps them hide or bright markings intended to scare predators off by indicating they’re poisonous (therefore not good to eat) or look like the face of something much bigger and more dangerous than they are.

There's not that much we can glean about the moths in pre-Hallownest society aside from Seer’s dialogue, because Hallownest destroyed their civilization so thoroughly: Except in the Dream Realm (which is filled with Essence spirographs and the wisteria charms that decorate Seer’s room), their architecture can only be found anymore in hidden parts of the Resting Grounds and at the very top of the Crystal Peak where Radi’s statue and a fuckton of lore tablets Ghost doesn’t know how to read are located.

But, we know that the crater pre-Hallownest was home to a ton of diverse bug nations - the mosskin, the mushroom tribe, the mantises, Deepnest, the Hive, the flukes - and every SINGLE one of those had some kind of warrior tradition, as well as their own unique cultures. In the midst of all that it was only the moths who were pacifists, so from there we can tentatively assume that they were on good enough terms with their neighbors for there not to be any fighting. The mosskin in particular also had and still have a Higher Being on their side, though in the modern day Unn seems to be rather conflict avoidant to say the least.

And we know from Hallownest’s past dealings with the mantises and Deepnest that even having Two (2) Higher Beings isn’t enough to keep rival civilizations off your nuts if they hate you, so it’s improbable that Radiance just did all the moths’ fighting for them.

The only hint that the moths ever had beef with anyone at all is one of Radiance’s Dream Nail lines, “ancient enemy” - this is popularly theorized to refer to the Void and might be corroborated by the Void’s willingness to follow Ghost into Radi’s boss fights and fight alongside them. As the Void seems to be some sort of Higher Being/god of darkness and nothingness, and the Dream Nail’s only offensive ability is to kill Void creatures, the Void and creatures of Light appear to be in a position of mutual vulnerability. Some of the Pale King’s writings in his workshop, which identify the Void as a power in direct opposition to his, support this too.

It’s unclear whether the Void civilization and Radiance ever directly came to blows or whether they were just giving each other the stink eye over being natural enemies - personally I think the latter is more likely because the two civilizations existed on opposite sides of the crater*, and again, the moths were pacifists; plus when Ghost brings the Void along to Radi’s boss fight she is quickly and gruesomely overwhelmed by it.

What I am saying here is that if pacifism was such an integral aspect of moth culture, and Radiance epitomized her people’s culture, and she is 100% incapable of inflicting physical harm, she was probably a pacifist too.

DEEP DOWN YOU KNOW YOU WEREN'T BUILT FOR FIGHTING

Hallownest flourished for a long, long time between the Pale King and White Lady first establishing it and the initial outbreak of the Infection.

There’s no conclusive information in-game as to why this is. We can only guess: Maybe Radiance was so badly hurt or weakened by the moths’ assimilation that it simply took her That Long to become capable of the mass dream broadcast to Literally Everyone In Hallownest that would eventually become the Infection when Hallownest’s people tried to suppress it. Or, maybe it just took a long time for her to come up with a way to fight back. It’s possible that it took her a while to find the resolve to actually fight back, too, with her principles of pacifism in conflict with the necessity of defending herself and taking her people back. Maybe there was a change in the moths’ situation in Hallownest somewhere down the line that compelled her to step in - all the moths are super extremely dead at the time Hollow Knight starts, after all. Even Seer is eventually revealed to be a revenant like Ze’mer the Grey Mourner, only lingering in the world to pass on the Dream Nail and tell Radiance’s story. Maybe it was a combination of all those factors. Barring Team Cherry dropping in to explain this bit of Sekret Deep Lore, we are never going to know.

All we DO know for sure is that when we mosey into Hollow’s brain (and/or Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny our way to the top of Hallownest’s Pantheon) and challenge the literal actual sun to a fight, Radi takes the challenge with extreme prejudice and comes in swinging.

Something interesting I noticed while comparing the Radiance boss fights with the Pure Vessel fight is that some of their attacks are vaguely similar. Where warrior-mage characters like Xero and Markoth have physical weapons that they summon and manipulate with magic, Radiance and Pure Vessel both create nails and daggers out of Essence and Soul respectively. Both characters’ magical weapon attacks are similar in nature too: Some are used to create hazards that must be dodged or avoided, and some are fired directly at Ghost in radial patterns.

This begs a very sad chicken-and-egg question. Did Radi and Hollow develop these battle techniques independently of each other, has Hollow in their prime form somehow absorbed similar techniques to Radi through osmosis since they’re currently chained together by the brain... or is Radi mimicking and innovating on these attacks she knows Hollow can do?

All her other attacks seem very obvious for a light-themed character, after all: Beam attacks and blobs of light. A flash of bright light is also how she shakes off the Void the first time it tries to grab her, too, making for a strong argument that that’s the original natural defense she possessed, and that’s what she based most of her attack magic off of.

Making sword’s and knive’s from Essence when most of her people didn’t even handle these sorts of tools even at the height of her power and influence, though... that seems less like something that would come naturally to her. i don’t really know i don’t have a definitive answer or theory for this one it just Seems Possible and it’s fucking me up guys

Even the Infection - which began life as Radiance’s attempt to communicate, let’s remember, before it progressed to “The End Of Eva Disease Will Continue Until Someone Actually Listens To Me” and then finally Radi screaming “FUCK U LET ME OUT, GET THAT NEW SUNNY D BOTTLE THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, HALLOWNEST EAT SHIT” during canon - does not appear to be fatal to living bugs until the tumorous growths grow so large they impede bodily functions, like real cancer. We can observe this phenomenon via a number of NPCs and enemies that are rediscovered as tumorous corpses after the whole Crossroads area becomes infected.

At least to me, all of this points to Radiance being a character to whom violence and causing harm doesn't come naturally, and who has resorted to these methods in desperation.

It actually reminds me a lot of False Knight/Failed Champion. It’s a very common theory among fans that when he stole Hegemol’s armor he killed Hegemol - this is a reasonable thing to believe, since Hegemol is the only one of the Five Great Knights of Hallownest who never appears at all in-game, not even as a corpse like Dryya and Isma. Like Radi, False Knight/Failed Champion is a character who rose up and turned to violence in order to protect his people, despite the maggots not being a belligerent species.

False Knight is one of the game’s first major bosses, sometimes the first boss that players encounter at all. And so Hollow Knight’s story bookends with two separate victims of a predatory system, one who lived within and was cannibalized by it, one outside of it who was deliberately targeted by the Pale King. Neither of them started out as a fighter, but both of them still adopted violence as a tool to protect themselves and their people. Radiance is as doomed as False Knight by the Pale King’s genocide, but just like False Knight, she has no intention of going quietly, and will rage against the dying of the light as only the literal actual sun can.

Cue Deedee Magno Hall voice clip. You all know the one.

*A footnote: There’s no conclusive evidence to tell us whether the Void civilization was contemporaneous with the other pre-Hallownest indigenous bug nations or whether it predated them. Mask Maker has a line suggesting that the Void civilization tried to expand throughout the crater in its heyday and that maybe this was linked to its collapse, but in general the Void lore is just too darn thin to draw firm conclusions - it’s like trying to speculate on the ancient stone age cultures of the Americas that came before pre-settler Indigenous countries when the only sources you can easily access are elementary school level US history textbooks. (To non-Americans: We mostly teach kids propaganda until they hit college-level courses and it sucks so much ass.) This is very realistic worldbuilding, but also please Team Cherry I want to know more about these ancient bugs who apparently got lost in the sauce

#hollow knight #hollow knight spoilers #hollow knight meta #the radiance #hk radiance #essay #long post under cut -#bad and naughty catholics go in the catholic wiggler

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ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is · 4 years

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Peace! It's nice to meet you, fellow mbti person! I'm so glad to have stumbled upon an ISTJ who is into typology! I have a request. I typed Elsa from Frozen in a post (I'll tag you) and I argued that she is not an ISTJ. I wanted to know what you thought, particularly if I made any mistakes in understanding the ISTJ personality type. Thank you so much in advance! I hope it's not too much of a bother. I'm an INTP btw.

Hi,

I want to start out with the following: for anyone reading, do not make a habit of having me analyze your posts about fictional characters. I am happy to help you type yourself, or answer questions about MBTI. However, in case it was not clear from the fact that I have only typed fictional characters in response to direct questions, that my answers have typically been very brief, and that I’ve repeatedly directed people to blogs that specifically focus on character typing, I’m not really interested. I should note: I had fun because I love picking up my metaphorical red pen and writing “wrong” over every other sentence, but it did also take me like an hour and a half and it’s over 3 pages long, and I don’t have time to do that regularly.

With all that said, the post had sufficient issues with both basic logical argument structure (I would very strongly recommend you revisit that INTP typing of yourself and look at something with high Fe instead) as well as understanding of MBTI that, because you asked directly, I will go through said issues. I want to make it very clear: this is going to be harsh. For both that and for the length I’m putting it below a read-more such that if you were looking for a brief thumbs up or down and not for extensive criticism, you are welcome to ignore it, block me, or whatever is best for you.

Basic argument structure: you open repeatedly with the most subjective arguments - that she gives off Fi and Ni vibes and you don’t see the Si in her. This will convince no one but yourself.

This argument is also mostly focused on “other people think this, but I don’t” which I find is only useful in a process of elimination argument. We’ll get to the final typing eventually but it is generally stronger to argue in favor of what you believe and then address potential disagreement rather than the reverse; by the time you get to ISFP I’ve read so many incorrect assumptions and subjective asides that I’ve long since stopped valuing the analysis of the work.

Issues with the ISTJ argument

(note: I have, and continue to type Elsa as an ISTJ so this will be the longest section in that I’m both pointing out flaws and arguing in favor of ISTJ; the rest will be solely focused on MBTI misconceptions or logical fallacy).

While it’s true people often mistake trauma for Si, this argument seems to equate trauma with being stuck in the past (people can just be stuck in the past without trauma for whatever other reason - it’s not healthy but it does not necessarily indicate literal trauma). There is also a false opposition here: It’s absolutely valid to argue that Elsa is traumatized, but that does not preclude her having Si, merely removes one argument in favor of Si.

You define Si (gathering concrete details to understand what to expect) but don’t actually argue why Elsa doesn’t do this. I’d argue, in opposition to the statement later in this paragraph, that she does. She is aware from the past that her abilities can harm her sister. She is aware from her past that when she avoided Anna, Anna was safe. She hasn’t been happy with the “conceal don’t feel” line, but it has achieved her goals and her expectation is that she’ll hurt someone if she stops following it.

If you’re referring to an Si-Fi loop (wallowing in self-pity), it doesn’t use Te since that’s how loops work. You don’t explicitly say this is in the context of looping although you introduce looping in the second sentence, but if you are referring to a loop this is incorrect. It’s true that ISTJs are often likely to use Si (preference for familiar/existing structures) and an Fi understanding of morality to direct their energies when they wish to change something (ie, they will change things through existing channels) but the focus on speaking out about injustice here is much more in line with enneagram 1 - a very common enneatype for ISTJs and an enneatype that’s rare for any non-TJ types, but not the enneatype I’d give Elsa nor an inherent ISTJ trait itself.

The part about self-discipline is mixed - a lot of ISTJs are very disciplined in certain areas (particularly professional/familial) but can neglect the self (not getting enough exercise/not eating well, not addressing burnout or more emotional issues) and I’d argue again, Elsa shows this: she’s not addressing the fact that she’s lonely and miserable, but she’s highly disciplined with regards to concealing her abilities and avoiding Anna even though it’s the very thing making her lonely and miserable.

I don’t necessarily think Let It Go is indicative of an Ne grip, but one can make changes outside of a grip, so this isn’t a useful argument, as it argues why an Ne grip is wrong, not why ISTJ is wrong - I would merely argue she’s not gripping at that time. Which is a general issue here: the argument you provide in this paragraph isn’t arguing against ISTJ, it’s arguing against other people’s arguments for ISTJ, which is an important distinction.

The final paragraph of the ISTJ section has numerous issues: ISTJs are not rebellious. They are not as resistant to change as stereotypes indicate, but even a healthier version of ISTJ Elsa would be unlikely to rebel and rather try to understand her parents’ argument, research other options, or look for a way to gain control over her powers while still working within the normal hierarchy. I addressed self-discipline (I should add: I don’t think a child/young woman having difficulty controlling magical powers with no training is an argument against self-discipline; my argument for self-discipline is that she stays in her room and away from her sister despite clearly hating it). It is also, to be blunt, mind-boggling that you (correctly) argue that trauma responses are not inherently Si but then refer to obsessive-compulsive behaviors as Si when that’s also a medical disorder completely divorced from the MBTI framework. Finally, her continuing to follow an order from her parents after they die is first, quite literally the definition of self-discipline (she’s the queen; no one else is going to discipline her for it, after all) and second, entirely in line with Si (this is what she has always done and it’s not great but it works) and is, arguably, if not medically obsessive-compulsive, an obsessive need to follow a compulsion. To be clear: this isn’t healthy ISTJ behavior, but since you’ve acknowledged grips and loops here I think an unhealthy interpretation of the type is very much on the table. You say her behavior is more in line with F types; it’s not and you don’t explain why.

If I may it seems as though, much in line with the argument here being against other arguments but ultimately not debunking the typing, your arguments against MBTI stereotypes focus on what’s incorrect but they tend to merely swing the pendulum to the opposite side (eg, that ISTJs are likely to rebel, in opposition to the stereotype that they’d mindlessly follow orders) rather than find the more nuanced middle ground of how people of a type or with a certain function behave.

Issues with the INFJ and INFP sections:

Ne users can and frequently do go out into the world; simply because Ne can be engaged without external physical stimulation doesn’t mean it never is. I’m also not really a fan of reading being classified as a strictly introverted pursuit; that’s falling into a pretty significant stereotype trap. Going out and exploring is a thing anyone can do but if anything I’d either associate that more strongly with high sensing (either Si or Se) or with extroversion.

My biggest issue here is the implication that searching for a meaning for existence or a purpose is in itself an indicator of Ni. This is just the human condition. If you’re going to argue that Si users are driven to rebel against injustice I don’t see how you can miss that that might in turn be driven by a belief that this is their purpose. Perhaps Si-Ne users aren’t as invested in having a single purpose, but wondering why you are on this earth and what it is you are here to do is just being a person, and to be blunter than I have been, I am struggling to understand how there has been so much effort made earlier to push away from stereotypes to the point of overcompensation in the opposite direction and then when it comes to the idea that only Ni users have a desire for meaning in life you just accept it without question.

Issues with the ISFP section:

At this point I’ve probably covered most of them though I’d like to point out that I don’t think there was an argument ever made explicitly for introversion; while the structure of the earlier arguments and focus on debunking was, as stated, flawed, I would at least round it out by eliminating ESFP as an option.

The argument here rests heavily on Let it Go, which is interesting because most of the terrible arguments for Elsa being an intuitive also rested squarely on that same brief if admittedly pivotal section of a full movie; in attempting to differentiate itself from those arguments it has in fact replicated the most significant flaws. Anyway, I’ve addressed that I don’t personally think Let it Go being indicative of a grip is how I’d argue for ISTJ, so that becomes invalid; I’ve tried to focus more on issues with logic MBTI than the contents of the movie but I’d add that “she was happy” is open to interpretation and her emotional state was probably fairly complicated. Relieved, sure, but she’s still ultimately isolated. (Also while mentally singing Let it Go, I realized that here’s that rebellion you were asking for in the ISTJ section).

You also outright say that when Elsa tries to reassert control it’s through Te. Yeah. That’s what a high Te user does. An ISTJ in a grip would indeed use Ne, but in quite literally any other circumstance (looping or just existing as an ISTJ not in a grip or loop) would reassert control via Te, so again, your argument does not sufficiently eliminate that Elsa is an ISTJ, just that she’s not a gripping ISTJ, which I’d agree with.

“She acts out when she is stressed and makes bad decisions” is also the human condition (and why I’ve frequently on my blog argued very strongly against typing via stress behaviors, because in the end most people...act out and make bad decisions when stressed), so this isn’t useful as an argument for anything.

In conclusion: multiple misconceptions about Ni and Si; no argument that I could find presented for high Fi, just Fi in general; inconsistency regarding whether or not Elsa rebels, and an overall reliance not on making a new argument but on arguing why other arguments were wrong. Given the title of the post you asked me to analyze I have to (admittedly this is extremely cynical of me) wonder if there was an underlying goal to come up with a typing that was different from commonly accepted arguments, rather than to simply type for its own sake.

#mbti #character typing #istj #seireinocookies

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bibbykins · 5 years

Text

Drown Me So I Can Breathe (M)

A/N: Tumblr rlly failed me when I was trying to post this three hours ago buuuuut whatever. I hope y’all enjoy just as much as I would/always enjoy hearing from you all! Hope you all are having a great day/night!

Pairing: (Soft) Yandere! Jungkook x reader

Word Count: 8.6k

Warnings: anxiety, anxiety attack, toxic relationship tendencies, unhealthy relationship, vaginal sex, non-penetrative sex

Summary: You stumble in crashing waves, but you don’t lift your arms for help. You gave that up long ago. There is no breath of fresh air that you can attain. But what if there were a savior with the prettiest lock and key you’ve seen? Would you even be able to see it among the murky waters that drown you?

Don’t worry, you don’t have to see it. You just have to take his hand. You’ll fall into his arms soon enough. Well, not literally fall, of course.

Right?

The crowd was loud in the amphitheater where drunk college festivities took place. You didn't even want to be here in the first place, but alas, you were the ball being shoved back and forth between crowds. It was all the joys of getting seasick without the aid of the actual sea, being too meek to stand your ground in the hustle and bustle, you were pushed, shoved, and it wasn't until you had been shoved roughly on the concrete floor, you made it your mission to get through the crowd alive. You felt the sting on your legs as you remained tossed around like a rag doll until a pair of strong hands set you on your own two feet, unmoving, unwobbling, and under his control.

Jungkook would be a liar if he said he hadn't been watching you the entire time. He didn’t mean to be so transfixed by you. He only went to these things to satisfy his sexual needs. Beyond an orgasm, he wasn't planning on feeling anything tonight.

Plans change.

Tonight was some college prom frat and sorority members who peaked in high school thought would be fun. It had drinks, pounding music, and sweaty people despite a cold environment. It was basically a club with a king and queen. Jungkook, despite his broody and less than forthcoming nature, was a shoo-in for the king. He was young, hot, and despite how selfish he was, still a good lay. He had everything he could want. He had a blossoming job as a sound engineer for the upperclassmen Min Yoongi’s company. Jungkook also gained popularity in his potential singing career with songs he randomly dropped here and there, his place in the seven campus princes furthering his fan count.

He was the youngest of the princes, but he was also the coldest. Jungkook was stone-faced around everyone but his fellow adonis friends. Some admirers chalked it up to him being cute and shy, others made him out to be a grungy broken broody man. You on the other hand, just figured he was a guy with a personality who happened to be cute.

You seldom paid him mind. Yes, he was cute, yes, you would say yes in a heartbeat, but you had a little too much pride to pine after him as many people did.

He was intrigued by you though. You always ended up in one of his classes somehow. At first, he figured you were some fan who somehow figured out his schedule, but this idea was quickly dampened.

You were a good student. A fashion major, he discovered. You had high attention to detail, sometimes to a damaging degree. You sat in the front or back row, sometimes too shy to face the front, but you always had your eyes glued to the professor or book. Even when you and Jungkook had been in a group together, you arranged everything through text message, never going off-topic.

You were a good student. How boring it was for you. You smiled, did work, avoided socializing, and went home. This was your routine. You didn't favor making genuine friendships, it was too complicated. You wanted to date, love, and finally fuck, but the odds of finding a mate who would tolerate being the only person in your life, was slim to none. Of course, you had guys you thought were cute, Jungkook caught your eye the most for obvious reasons, plus he was pretty much a loner already, but he didn't seem like the type to dish out the all-consuming love you craved.

You had been right, Jungkook wasn't until he met you. After the first encounter, to say he had become a tad obsessed would be no lie. At first, it had been his pride, wondering what person wouldn't try to fuck him, but then he realized you were no plain person. You were his ideal girl. You were sweet, and it was genuine, but he could tell you craved something more than smiles and pleasantries. You wanted something more, he just knew it, and he wanted to give it to you. He wanted to give you everything as the time of him keeping tabs on you went on.

With this want, also came the want to keep you all to himself. Once or twice, he's been forced to threaten a few guys dumb enough to say anything about you or asking you out. His friends poked fun as Jungkook once had to Taehyung when he was pining after his current girlfriend, and now he understood his feelings.

Taehyung had told Jungkook he would know when the time to make his feelings known was right to which Jimin confirmed while holding his girlfriend at his side. Jungkook recalled this as he watched you play the role of the ball in a game of crowd ping pong. You were trying to politely squeeze toward what looked like the bathroom as you had your arms close to your chest. Watching how helpless you were, he decided now was the time to begin the love story of his lifetime.

Jungkook rushed into the crowd, people being smart enough to step aside at the sight of his camouflage jacket, and he grabbed you from behind by your shoulders and set your teetering feet back on the ground. You jumped, still wobbly, but thankful to be still for once.

However thankful, you felt sick, super sick. The pressure being in the crowd as well as being shoved for almost 30 minutes straight was rushing back to you, and you stumbled forward, only to be pulled back by the strong set of hands. There was too much going on, too many people, and you felt sick. You were riddled with the feeling of instability and ridicule. You had no sense of ground until the man stabled your stance.

“Can you walk?” The mysterious savior whispered in your ear, and you shivered at the proximity.

You nodded, words getting lost in your choke for air, wondering why people were stealing glances in your direction. You began to walk towards the exit, until your legs gave in, causing you to nearly crumble to the ground, the mystery man being quick to catch you.

The voice scoffed, “Just say no.” He spoke when he went next to you to scoop you up in his arms like a princess.

You wanted to squirm and yelp, but something felt so right about being in his arms. You wanted to be the only one in his arms, staking your claim on this spot you craved to keep. It was this flurry of sensations that made you realize you hadn't looked up to see who this mystery man was, and when you got the courage to, someone bumped into your legs and you nearly fell out of his arms. Out of Jeon Jungkook’s arms.

“Watch it, dick!” He snapped at the culprit, but only gripped you closer, “Fuck, hold onto me, okay?” He whispered in your ear as you nodded, interlocking your hands behind his neck as the lingering stares of the crowd turned into blatant gaping. He walked you towards the exit as you tucked your head into his chest and closed your eyes, trying to be unseen.

Jungkook smiled at your movement. This is what he wanted. He wanted you, enveloped by him, safe, his. The crowning of king and queen had begun while he held you firmly in his arms.

“And the king is… Jeon Jungkook…” The preppy girl paused, “Uh… who is busy, so in the meantime, the queen is…”

You heard the crowd fade as Jungkook waltzed you away from the humid area to civilization and crisp fall air. Suddenly, you could breathe again, “Congratulations.” Your voice was muffled in Jungkook’s shirt.

He snorted, “Congratulations?”

“You're king, yay.” You weakly offered, still muffled as you heard doors open.

He chuckled and you felt his chest vibrate on your cheek, “Gee, thanks, princess.” It seemed he began climbing up steps.

Suddenly, the anxiety that had been bubbling in the pit of your stomach, poured out tears that threatened to spill. You felt like shit. You couldn't handle a crowd, so you ruined Jungkook’s night. He didn't even have a chance to get crowned all because he was being polite.

“Sorry.” You broke the silence that held in the air for a few minutes as he walked, your voice cracking from embarrassment.

Jungkook frowned, “No, no, sweetheart, none of that.” He damn near cooed.

You heard another door open, and when the door closed again, it was silent. It was silent until you began sobbing, “I'm so sorry.” You cried eyes screwed shut while Jungkook sat down, you still in his arms, his collar tight in your fists.

You were ashamed. You were overwhelmed. You had been so scared, so helpless, and despite being thankful, you felt like such a burden.

Jungkook’s heart shattered. He went into panic mode. The love of his life was sobbing in his arms, apologizing. Initially, he wanted to go back to the amphitheater and beat the shit out of every person who so much as bumped into you, but he'd be damned if he would ever leave your side. Now, he just wanted to see you smile. He just wanted to tell you it was okay, and he loves you, and at the moment he lacked the ability to deem such thoughts irrational.

He had taken you to his apartment near the amphitheater. You had been in and out of sleep for most of the walk, so when Jungkook reached his room above the lobby, taking the stairs to avoid the elevator startling you, he wanted nothing more than to do what he was at that moment. Hold you.

Jungkook rocked you back and forth as you cried it out, shushing you each time you apologized. In the medical record of yours he happened to come across, completely by chance, of course, he saw you had certain symptoms of social anxiety. He figured the crowd must have sent you into a mild anxiety attack, and he just wanted you safe. The safest place was in his arms.

“Don't worry, princess, you're okay.” He spoke lowly, soothing you as he sat down on his bed with you in his lap.

“W-Why are you doing this?” You cried. You could very well ask yourself the same question. It wasn't like you to break down like this, not in front of people, let alone the hottest and meanest guy on campus. Yet this hot, mean, guy was talking you down. You loved it. You craved this for so long, and you wanted to keep it like this. You wanted Jungkook. You realized at that moment, Jungkook must be the one for you. He had to be. Nobody had ever taken any effort to so much as check up on your well being. It was all small talk and half-empty compliments, but Jungkook was full of emotion.

“Oh, y/n, sweet, sweet princess,” He mused and to his delight, your muscles relaxed as he stroked your hair, “It should've have been like this since I first laid eyes on you.”

“Wha-”

“Shh, calm down fully first, questions later.” His soothing voice ordered and you nodded, submissive. You didn't want to think too hard about the logistics of this moment anyway, you would only confuse yourself, “Right now it’s just me and you, that’s all that matters.”

"Me and you…" You echoed.

You both stayed like this for a while until your breathing went even and you relaxed in his embrace and let your eyes drift closed.

The dreams you had were whispers from a lonely past that haunted more often than naught. They held you underwater and left you to face yourself with the nothing you had surrounded yourself with. The eerie symbolism your subconscious brought worried you as you spent your years in a mirroring emotional solitude.

But tonight was different.

Tonight you drifted above water, breathing in a much fuller atmosphere than you were accustomed to. Two muscular arms kept you afloat as puffs of air hit your neck ever so softly. Cologne held you in emotional comfort as you soaked up the air in a paradise you never properly acknowledged as yours to breathe in.

You felt a hand on your hip as you took it in your own, bringing it to your cheek. It was comfortable, a loving silence enveloped you in the wisps of consciousness. You wished to stay like this, not wanting to face the obligatory awkward morning full of confusion and hazy answers to rock-solid questions.

However, you still had some of your logic left as you turned your body to face Jungkook. He was sleeping still as you looked at him. It was funny how relaxed he looked yet how tightly he gripped you. Not that you minded, of course. He was a beautiful man, this much you knew to be true. He had the softest features when not so on guard.

You looked past him to see the time was half-past nine and you had a class in a half-hour, “Shit!” You cursed softly, causing Jungkook to wake up under the assumption you were hurt.

“You okay?” His voice was deeper and groggy and it made your entire body quake.

“I-no, I have a class soon, so I have to go.” You sighed forcing yourself up before pulling the covers off only to see your short dress, “Oh goodness, it's going to look like a walk of shame.” You huffed at your thigh highs that fell to under your knees.

“Not if you borrow something of mine.” Jungkook was stretching as he spoke and you could see the outline of his biceps. You gulped, nodding mindlessly, “I have some joggers and a shirt that-”

“I'm wearing thigh highs and black heels.” You whined, “I'll look insane.” Jungkook chuckled at this before thinking for a moment. Your outfits always had a very evident amount of effort in them, and it was endearing to see how much you cared.

“My shirts may be longer than your dress though.” He stood, going to his closet as you followed suit, “I have a flannel since it's cold.” He presented the black and red garment to you.

“Perfect!” You giggled as you pulled up your thigh highs, making the male in front of you gulp, “Oh...can you unzip me?” You felt your cheeks heat as you turned.

Jungkook gulped once again as he grabbed the delicate zipper and pulled it down. He wondered when he would be able to repeat this action with a more sultry mood. Your skin looked so soft. He wondered how it would feel on his lips.

Once you felt the dress slacken and Jungkook pull away you slipped the flannel over your arms, buttoning from top to bottom as you let the dress fall from under it. He almost wanted to scold you for being so blatant about showing your body, but he couldn't help but find your naivety endearing as well. You left the top two buttons apart as you slipped on the pumps you wore last night. He watched you maneuver the shirt to expose your collarbone that he wanted to run his lips across too,, “Okay, how do I look?” You turned to Jungkook and damn near took his breath away.

You were wearing his shirt like a beautiful dress and he fought the giddy smile from how proud you looked in doing so. The shirt had a very distinctive J.K. on the sleeve and he loved that you were branded by him, “Beautiful.”

You smiled softly, “Thanks,” You broke the trance once you saw the time creeping closer to your class, “Well I should go, I'll see you later!” You missed before grabbing your purse with the intent to buy a notebook and pen for the lecture and rushed out the door.

Jungkook smiled giddily as the door shut. Fuck, you were cute. Part of him was sad that you were in such a rush to leave, but so long as you wore his shirt, he found peace. He turned to gather his things for a shower. He first grabbed his phone to see that you were typing on the messenger. He texted Namjoon a bit for useless advice before his door opened. Before he could turn, two arms wrapped around his stomach.

Before he could instinctually think to pry the person off, he saw the familiar embroidered initials on your sleeve, “Thank you so much for last night.” You mumbled in the fabric of his shirt, “I could never repay you.”

Jungkook enclosed his arms around yours as he looked at the embroidered initials you held on the cuff of the flannel, and he smiled softly, “You doing this is repayment enough.”

“We have to meet up later, because I have a lot of questions, and I'm sure you do too." You nuzzled into his back before letting go, “I'll message you, okay?” You reached for the door.

“I'll look forward to it.” He called before you shut the door. He broke out into a goofy smile as soon as he heard your heels click on the carpeted halls of the apartment and to the front door before shutting it.

The cab you took back to campus cut the 15-minute walk to a 5-minute drive that gives your fast walk a chance to buy the notebook and pen you planned to get and get to class on time. You hated this class actually counted attendance towards a grade since it prevented you from a blissful morning with Jungkook.

Jungkook. You had to pause your thoughts for a moment to properly assess that the fact was Jungkook a factor in your mind that wasn't rooted in fantasy. He had talked you down and held you like it was his obligation, but the craziest part is that it was his choice. You hadn't spoken with him much beyond casual texts, so what inspired such compassion from him.

You propped your head on your palm as your anthropology professor’s words were put to your new notebook. It was the same formula in each class. He would lecture and then pose a question to discuss with someone for five to ten minutes and then lecture some more. Wash, rinse, repeat. The question was to discuss one's theory of evolution and you sighed before turning to your seat neighbor in the lecture hall.

“So, evolution happened, right?” Jisoo, a notably perky and preppy girl, looked at you as you nodded, “Cool, so we got the same theory right?” You shrugged, “Okay, anyway, why are you wearing Jungkook’s shirt?” She smirked at you.

You balked, “Wh-What?” Was all you could muster in the midst of the shock that clouded your brain.

“I know that signature monogram on the sleeve anywhere.” She pointed to your left sleeve and you gasped at the very blatant JK in white, “It cannot be replicated. Taehyung's girlfriend has a crazy precise hand and Jungkook’s family started buying from her.”

“What the hell?” You murmured as you studied the eloquent calligraphy that you somehow missed.

“No stress, I'm not some wannabe campus princess to the princes.” She went on, “But my annoying roommate is and I would just kill to tell her that another has been snatched up into monogamy.” She jeered lightly.

“Well, I-we-” You paused to try and find the words to explain the situation.

“Holy shit, you're the girl he was carrying last night, right?” Jisoo squealed among the hushed conversations of the students around you both, “You so are!” You felt your face heat, “The world is on my side today.” She beamed, “My roommate's sorrow fuels me.”

“Jungkook and I are not…” You didn't want to deny it because the possibility could be there if you played your cards right and prayed to each deity, so you settled with, “We aren't official or anything.” You said with a slight sorrow in your voice, “We didn't even… do anything last night.”

“He never gives his shirts to one night stands.” Jisoo stated matter-of-factly, “Plus he hasn't had anyone in like a month, it's only a matter of time before the other shoe drops.” She noticed your concerned look, “Yes, my roommate is this obsessed and never shuts the fuck up.”

“But we-” You were cut off by your professor bringing the lecture back into rhythm.

“Thank you, y/n, you've honestly made my day.” She held your hand briefly before returning to her notes.

As the day went on, you noticed something odd. You were being gawked at. If you were in a musical, all those whispers would be a very good intro into a song. However, you were not in a musical, because even this was just too outlandish. It was constant whispering and side-eyes. Maybe it would have been easier if you and Jungkook had a label so that you could say an answer to the occasional interrogation you faced instead of sputter a non-committal one.

Finally, you finished your classes for the day and confirmed with Jungkook you would meet at his place. The day was breezy, so you figured a walk wouldn't kill you. That is until you saw Jungkook in the courtyard walking away from the usual table he frequents with a smile plastered on his face.

Maybe it was the way the light hit him or the fact that he was so breathtaking you felt your throat dry. A wave of embarrassment that neglected to hit you this morning engulfed you. For goodness sake, you were parading around in his monogrammed shirt with nothing but your bra and underwear beneath it. Not to mention the fact you were stockings too. What the fuck was going on? You are not his girl, so why were you even entertaining the idea? The shame you felt for even feeling like you could be something was drowning your short-lived self-confidence quickly. You wanted to run back to your dorm and hide.

On second thought, that sounded like a great idea.

You opted to make a beeline for your dorm as inconspicuous as possible, seeing as it was in the direction Jungkook was heading in. You assumed he was going to his car in the student lot that was in front of your building. Go figure.

Your lack of knowledge when it came to Jungkook’s feelings for you did you in. He had tunnel vision. He swore it was some unspoken soulmate connection that always seemed to train his eyes right to your meek form not so subtly fast walking past him. A small smile formed on his face as he jogged up to you.

Your anxious tunnel vision prevented you from noticing the man walking next to you with a grin slapped onto his face, “Slow down, princess, I'm in some pretty heavy combat boots.” His deep voice made you jump and completely miss your footing, making your knee strive to make contact with the concrete. Strong hands held you up before that could happen, though. This lead you into a half-kneeling position before those hands pulled you upright.

“Sorry.” You huffed out, watching your breath dissipate in the air.

Jungkook looked down at your chest unsteadily rising and falling, “Hey, hey, it's okay.” He spoke softly into your ear as his hands reached for yours from behind and he pressed against you so you could feel his chest as he breathed deeply. He smiled at how you relaxed ever so slightly, “Good girl.” He mused as he watched your chest rise and fall a little more steadily.

“People are staring.” You mustered shyly, “They might think-”

“I want them to.” He stated firmly and it made you shiver, “Come on, let's go talk.” He stepped next to you, his left hand remaining intertwined with your right one as he pulled you lightly in his direction.

Your feet moved on their own accord as your mind tried to add up how the hell Jeon Jungkook knew how to: 1. Recognize when you were plagued by the bubbling of an anxiety attack and 2. Bring you back down from boiling over. There was too much going on and the shame that was squeezing at your throat began to loosen its grip as your tightened on Jungkook’s.

Jungkook smiled at you as you both walked through campus and to his evidently expensive car, “It's a bit much, but I bought it when I was 18, what do you expect?” He chuckled a bit as he opened the passenger door for you. You silently cursed to yourself at how weak in the knees he made you.

“My car predated me before it was totaled.” You chuckled a bit at the stark difference between every aspect of you and Jungkook.

Jungkook chose not to ask you what you meant by totaled. He didn't want to bring back harsh memories of what he could only assume was a death-defying car crash. All the signs were there from the way you tense when somebody yells or some idiot crushes a tin can obnoxiously. He's watched you long enough to know how to put two and two together. Almost everything you do has a reason.

The seats in his car were a deep black leather that reminded you of some cosmic wormhole you could get lost into. It was like a portal into another realm, but there was a slight sting in your nerves at the thought of how many women have sat in the same seat as you with a much heavier mood than this one.

Heavy.

It was now that the weight of your situation hit you harder than ever. Jungkook’s hand had made its way onto your own at some point. Odds are, the way his thumb was rubbing on your palm was the only thing keeping you from dry heaving the anxiety attack you've been swallowing down for the past 10 minutes. You wanted to hate yourself for being so susceptible to his touch. It felt so pathetic. Like you were some charity case or minor piece of some teen movie bet he made with his friends.

There was no way this shit could be real.

That's what you kept repeating to yourself the whole way to his apartment. Even when walking through the very nice building and waiting for the glass elevator. Up the 7 floors, you unintentionally counted and finally to the mahogany door that read 709 in gold numbers.

The living room was quite wonderful. A color palette of black and white reigned throughout. It was very indicative of the serious side of him. However, occasional knick-knacks and posters told you there was a side of him most people don't see, one that you have only seen a small semblance of.

All this, unfortunately, wasn't enough to quell the tightness in your chest as you tried not to obsess over how taboo this all feels.

“Jungkook.” Your mouth spoke before you could stop it. The man in question snapped his head up at the sound of his name, but more so the sound of your voice. Now with his undivided attention, you had no words.

This isn't right.

What is going on?

Is this some sort of sick joke?

Do you always do this?

Instead, all that came out was, “Wh-Where'd you get this candle?” You could beat the shit out of yourself and still not be satisfied as you pointed at the strawberry mint candle with the shakiest of hands. You made a complete 180 as you faced your back to Jungkook to admire the glass candle that obviously had a store name on the label.

Jungkook smiled knowingly. You were so cute. So nervous, scared, confused, and all you could ask was where he got a candle. You were on guard, and he was sane enough to understand why. It made sense. However, sanity only stretches so far between him and his group of friends.

There was an overwhelming presence in the air around you and you couldn't pinpoint why it was so apparent until you felt a rock hard torso press into you, “It was a gift.” Your breath hitched at the gruff voice behind you as you felt Jungkook's nose survey your neck, “But I don't think you care about it that much, hm?” You shuddered when you felt the vibration of his question against your neck.

“H-Hm…” Was all you could muster as your knees nearly locked.

“Fuck.” Jungkook growled as his hands locked in the front of your hips, pulling you flush against him, “I'm really trying to take it slow here, and you are making me so fucking hard.”

You gulped and only then did you realize you were salivating, “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.” You said before immediately regretting it. Why couldn't you ever go with any flow?

The tension snapped with a hearty laugh and a kiss on the top of your head, “Son of a bitch, you are so cute.” He mused, spinning you to face him, “I'm sorry if I scared you, I just…” A hint of red dusted his cheeks as his brown eyes darted across the room, “Feel so much for you.”

While you could infer as much considering the past 24 hours, you could not deduce, “Why?” You blurted out, “Not to sound annoying, but I genuinely don't get it.”

“You are so genuine.” Jungkook looked in your eyes, more confident now, “Everything about you is so honest and yet there is so much more I could only see now that I am this close to you.” It was then you realized his nose had been touching yours and there was an almost magnetic pull that caused you to tilt your head up and flutter your eyes closed.

This was it. This was his chance to burst out laughing and talk about how dumb you look. It was now or never, really. He still had time to pull back and kick you out. It would be so much easier for both of you.

However, your thoughts were quickly shut down by plush lips meeting your own. Jungkook's hands gripped your hips as he brought you closer and deepened the kiss. This spurred you to travel on hand up to his chest and the other to the back of his neck and you brushed through his hair, making him groan into your mouth. Before you could even think, your tongues were intertwined, no fight for dominance needed. It was a dance and you happily gave Jungkook the lead.

After a millennia of exploring each other's mouths, you both pulled back ever so slightly to breathe, “I don't want anyone else to see this much of you.” Jungkook's breathed as his hand went to stroke your warm cheek, “Too precious, so beautiful.” He mused, “I want you for myself.”

“Me?”

“You.” Jungkook confirmed, “Be mine.”

“This doesn't make sense-” You shook your head, trying to break from the trance he had you in but his hands that cupped your face kept you trained on him.

“Do you want to be mine?” He asked firmly, “Because I know I want to be yours more than anything.” This made your breath hitch, “I want to be the only one who can touch you, kiss you, hold you, fuck if I had it my way I would be the only one able to even look at you.”

“Jungkook where is this coming from-”

“Do you want to be mine?” He asked sternly, “Answer me honestly, princess.” He spoke firmly as you were forced to look into his eyes.

“I do, but I-” You were cut off with a heart-melting kiss. The only thing you could think of was that you were his.

The kiss was Jungkook telling you everything you needed to hear. He was pacifying you and it was liberating to be cared for. It had been you looking after yourself for so long. His hands went under your thighs and you wrapped your legs around him. He held you so tightly, you felt safe. You felt safe as he kissed down your neck

You were lost in the feeling of his lips against your skin until you heard your shoe drop, "Kook." Was all you could muster but it was enough for him to pull away for a moment, breath heavy and pupils blown. The sight of him being so fucked out after just kissing shook you to your very core, "D-Don't trip on my shoe-" You sputtered as your other shoe fell too, "Shoes, I mean." You smiled sheepishly as you watched the corner of his lips twitch before a cheesy smile sprung into his face. The mood in the room shifted dramatically and cursed yourself, "Oh I didn't mean to fuck up the mood, I want to do...it...with you-" You paused and huffed in frustration, still avoiding eye contact, "I sound so dumb, can you just… shut me up?" You finally gained the courage to look at him, pupils still blown, mouth agape in a short smirk, and his tongue made an appearance to swipe across his bottom lip.

Jungkook simply shifted you to where you could feel his bulge against you clothed core and you gasped at the sensation, "Oops." He shrugged before diving back into your neck.

"Shit." You moaned out, pressing yourself harder against his erection. With this movement, you felt the vibration of a growl against your neck as your back pressed harder against the wall.

In this frenzy of sensations, your eyes only shot open when one of Jungkook's hands slipped past your underwear to rub your sex, fingers instantly coated in your juices. Both of you groaned in tandem at the sensation.

Jungkook could barely work through his thoughts. Everything he had been doing was purely primal. The innate ecstasy of having your lips on his clouding his mind and when he felt how wet you were, he could no longer hold himself back. His filthy thoughts were coming to a head as one of his fingers slipped into you with such tantalizing ease. He leaned his head up to lick the shell of your ear and you let out another delicious gasp at your own sensitivity, "Fuck, you're so wet." He growled into your ear, finger pushing in and out, "I slipped in so easily, and yet, your pretty little pussy keeps sucking my finger back in." He pushed another finger in, "What a greedy little thing you are, hm?:

Your mouth popped open, tongue sticking out ever so slightly as Jungkook fucked your pussy with only two fingers. Your face was red from his explicit words in your ear, but you by no means wanted him to stop, "Please, Kook, I want you inside me."

At your pleading, he curled his fingers up, "What?" He mused tauntingly, "This isn't enough?"

You shook your head, "I want you so bad." You moaned out as he slipped a third finger in.

"How bad?" His voice was husky in your ear before turning to look at your face. His resolve to tease you was shaken drastically at your lewd expression.

"I need it!" You cried out, feeling your high creeping closer, but not wanting to achieve it before you became one with him, "I want your cock inside me so bad!" You moaned out and in an instant, Jungkook freed his hardened erection out only to rip your panties to rub around your exposed opening.

"Ask nicely." He teased, despite his voice very evidently being strained.

"Please fuck me, Jungkook!" Your eyes rolled back as you felt him push inside you with a satisfied grunt when you were filled to the hilt.

The feeling of being so full was intoxicating and when he began thrusting something awoke within you as your arms locked around your neck to allow you the leverage to bounce up and down as he held you up in the air, "Fuck, baby." He moaned out as your hips worked wildly on his dick, "So fucking good to me." He managed before moaning out again as your nails dug into his shoulder.

He felt the need to put you in your place as he turned to lay you both on the sofa, him above you, pounding mercilessly hands ripping the flannel on your body open, the clatter of the buttons falling on deaf ears as he pulled your bra down to suck on your nipple while he fucked you into oblivion, "I've waited so long to feel you around me, fuck." He was in bliss as his hips snapped against you.

His hand went to pinch your other nipple as you began to tighten around him. His hips were beginning to stutter as you both approached your orgasms.

"You gonna cum around me, princess?" He began to thrust harder as you could only let out a choked moan, trying to nod in response, "Do it, baby, cum for me." You didn't need to be told twice as the swirling in your stomach snapped and your well-deserved release came as your vision went white, a scream ripping from your throat.

Feeling you around him was intoxicating. He could hardly control his hips as he ground against you, needier than he had ever been in his life. He was chasing his release, but he also wanted to be inside you like this forever. You were panting as his mouth wrapped around your nipple and you clenched around him. This spurred Jungkook to reach his peak that much quicker with his hips barreling into you until he came with a low moan, hips thrusting spastically as you and he rode out the sensation together.

Your chest heaved as you tried to regain your senses. Jungkook pulled out slowly as you grimaced at the sensation.

He let out a breathy chuckle against your ear at this, "Trust me, baby, I'd kill to stay inside…" He trailed off jokingly as you scrunched your nose with a laugh.

He smiled at you before he made quick work of the condom you hadn't even known was there before redressing himself. You fell asleep, memories of him dressing you in a large T-shirt and slipping a pair of boxers up your legs hazy at best.

Finally, for the second time in 24 hours, you were carried to his bed.

Jungkook slept like a rock with you in his arms, knowing that you were safe and finally his. He wouldn't be surprised if a pleased smile was brushed across his mouth the entire night. The post-sex glow only adding to the grandiose pleasure of carrying you into his bed again. He had been so close to losing you so many times, but in the end, it only proves you both were meant to be. He loved you. He knew that much, and confidently. However, that confession would have to wait. He didn't want to even think of overwhelming you or scaring you away.

You woke up much more naturally than you were used to. You flicked your eyes upward only to see the sun void in the sky. You looked at Jungkook's clock to see it was 4:00AM. You sighed dreamily as you looked at Jungkook. He looked more boyish when he was asleep, his domineering aura not present at the moment. You propped yourself up on your elbow as you studied his face at the moment. You lightly poked his cheek with an amused glance.

Not wanting to seem creepy, you opted to get water and then go back to bed. You softly tossed the covers off your body, and all was well until you stood up. Your standing time clocked in at 5 seconds and your walking time at 2 as you crumbled to the hardwood, thighs slapping against it, "Shit!" You blurted, forgetting how long it's been since you had sex.

Jungkook woke up immediately. He sprang into a sitting position as he looked around the darkroom for your form once he realized you weren't next to him, "Baby?" His voice was so much deeper, sleep still present and you would've been a lot more turned on if you weren't on the floor, "Y/n?!" He was growing more panicked until he heard you.

"Here." You raised your hand and his eyes darted to the direction if your meek voice.

"Princess?" He was more confused this time as his legs swung over the bed to reach your crumbled form, "What are you doing here, huh?" He looked down as you, legs splayed on either side, "Not trying to run from me, are you?" He laughed nervously.

You didn't catch his tone and shook your head, "Can we just say I like the floor and not that I can't walk straight?" You lifted your hand, asking for help. You could see his smug smirk as he leaned down to pull your arms so he was holding you much like he was not long ago, "I just wanted water." You mumbled through pouting lips.

"We can go get some." He held the smirk on his face as you clung to him. He walked with you to the kitchen like that, setting you on the counter before handing you a glass. He stroked your thighs as you tipped the glass between your lips.

You gave him a smile, wet lips glistening as you offered him the glass, "Want some?" He shook his head with a blissful smile as he gave you a slow kiss.

You pulled apart, sipping on the water while Jungkook watched the skin of your thighs in his hands. He squeezed them, enjoying how you looked under his touch, how liberating it felt to touch you all he wanted, "You're so fucking beautiful." He breathed, leaning down to place a kiss on top of your right thigh, before moving to the other. It was softer than he envisioned.

"Kook?" You questioned as you set the glass down on the granite. He placed his hands on your knees, spreading them slowly, placing kisses up your knees. You breathed hitched as he reached your inner thigh, only to deflate when he moved to the other knee.

"Your skin is so soft." He nearly moaned against your thigh, and it wasn't until he was just a couple kisses from your core that he let out a hearty moan, "You smell so fucking good." He growled out as you felt his nose press against your clothed pussy. He stretched the material of the briefs and you felt the pressure of the taut fabric against you. You bit your lips at this, "Can I eat you out, baby?" His nose stayed at your center and you wondered how you weren't grossed out as his strongest hands spread you further, "I am a little… parched now that I think about it." He pulled away to give you a devilish smile as he put your legs over his shoulders.

"Can we at least go to the bedroom?" You whined, "This countertop looks really nice." Jungkook breathed a small chuckle.

"I guess I can wait just a little bit." His eyes flicked back up to you from the definite wet spot on the white boxers he gave you, "Hold on tight."

Your eyebrows scrunched, "What do you- OH MY GOD!" Faster than you could blink, Jungkook grabbed you by the thighs and held your pussy against his face, legs locking behind his neck, and hands frantically going into his hair as you became much taller than you could ever imagine.

He groaned as you writhed against him, his mouth catching kisses upon your lips through the increasingly annoying item of clothing. You squeaked each time as he skillfully maneuvered his way back to the bedroom. His arms had locked against your thighs, keeping you on his shoulders as he shamelessly pressed you up against the wall to lick you through the fabric. The soreness was easier to ignore as you let bliss and pleasure overtake your senses.

"Not enough." You whined and felt Jungkook chuckle against you.

He laid you on the bed, "You're such a brat when you're horny." He teased before moving the boxers so quickly off of you he tore them.

"Rich coming from the Hulk here-FUCK!" You threw your head back when Jungkook licked a thick stripe on your clit.

"What was that, baby?" He placed a hand flat on your sex as you writhed against him.

"Please, Kook." You let out a strangled moan when the nickname sent him into a lovesick frenzy on your pussy. His mouth found home on your clit, and he groaned at the squeal that left your beautiful lips.

Jungkook could do this all day, all night. You were so undeniably gorgeous, and you tasted like heaven. You were his awakening. You were his savior. But most importantly, you were his. His main goal seemed to be memorizing the feel of you under his tongue. This was the most selfish head he has given to someone who was enjoying it so much. His dick was absolutely twitching at each time you squirmed, he tried to pull himself through his boxers and give himself relief, but he could only moan when his hands left his own appendage to hold your hips still. He almost lost it when you let out the cutest whine as he left your clit to kiss up your body.

"I was so close." You murmured, hands on your eyes. He wondered how you were still so shy despite screaming his name only moments ago.

He pushed the shirt up as his mouth set its course to your own, stopping to grab your breasts, tongue going to each nipple as you let out a soft gasp each time the muscle twirled around the sensitive buds. His mouth reached your neck as he sucked with a ferocity that would surely leave a mark. He licked the area of busted capillaries with a satisfied smile you could feel against your neck. Your arms lay on his shoulders, hands in his hair as his mouth lay on yours. You almost stopped him, not wanting to taste yourself, but you relented. His lips looked so kissable, and he actually wanted to kiss you. You pulled him closer to you, feeling his bare dick on your equally bare core.

You gasped at the sensation. You both knew there was no way you could handle being penetrated again, but when his hips instinctively bucked, grinding his length along you, an alternative arrived. You nodded lightly, nibbling on his bottom lip. He grunted as his hips moved hesitantly again. He took your moan into his mouth and as a sign to keep going. He ground down hard and you almost threw your head back.

"Fuck." He growled as pressed himself against you, "You got me so fucking hard for you, princess." His lips moved against yours, "Can you feel how much I want you, baby?"

"Yes, yes!" You were being fucked into the bed and you loved the sensation of your body bouncing against him, his shaft against your clit making a delicious sensation for you, "I want you too, I-I-" You cut yourself off with a gasp of pleasure as your eyes rolled back. The very act of getting off by just grinding was so erotic, you could barely keep your tongue in your mouth, the heavy atmosphere too much for you not to taste.

"Oh, shit," He grunts as he rutted against you, "You what, baby, hm?" His hips moved expertly as you could feel yourself getting closer. You were losing your mind as he went to capture your lips again.

"I-fuck!" You moaned out as his thrusts became more desperate, "I love you so much, Kookie, fuck!" You lost your mind. You hadn't even thought of the words before they left your mouth with a moan.

Jungkook nearly saw white when he heard you say those words. Those wonderful little words. You were just like him, weren't you? So lonely, yet so sure of what you felt. You had to be, right? You were his, after all. You would continue to be.

He sped his movements up in the chase for his high and excitement at your confession, "Yeah? You love me?" You nodded weakly as the bed shook, "I love you so fucking much, baby." His lips moved against yours as he spoke, "Fuck, fuck-AH!" He cursed as he came, ropes of cum decorating your pelvis as you came, legs enclosing around his muscular body to keep him pressed against you. His hips moved ever so slightly as you both rode out your highs, chests heaving against one another.

When the morning came, Jungkook found empty sheets next to him, inciting another wave of panic as he sat up, checking the floor frantically. When you weren't there, he sprang up, ripping his bedroom door open, causing your form on the couch to jump, "Oh my!" You gasped, halting movements, needle and thread in hand along with a familiar flannel in your lap, "Never startle a seamstress." You placed your hand over your chest.

Jungkook was relieved, walking over to you wordlessly to plant a kiss on your lips and you smiled into it, "Never scare me into thinking you left." He mumbled against your mouth, stealing another kiss.

You nodded as he pulled away, "I'd never leave you, Kook." You smiled blissfully, "I may be a little crazy, but I'm not stupid."

Jungkook plopped on the sofa cushion next to you, "I know, baby." He was all too satisfied with your answer, "So what was so important I woke up alone?" He was still a bit pouty and you rolled your eyes.

"Well somebody, not gonna name any names," You glared at him, "Likes to rips things, such as buttons, off of a very lovely shirt." You gestured to the flannel in hand, "Ironically enough, you're a clothes ripper with a clothes fixer as a girlfriend who loves you enough to use said skills." You teased as he watched your hands expertly attach the buttons to the shirt.

"Well, I love you too, angel." He planted a kiss on your cheek as you reddened, "You don't have to fix the clothes, though." He pointed out and you shrugged, "Whatever I rip, I'll buy you an even better version of it." He breathed against your ear and you giggled. You almost forgot how unbelievably wealthy he was.

"Well, I like this shirt." You admired your work of the buttons, "It has sentimental value." You mused as you placed it and the sewing materials on the table.

Jungkook to the chance to pull you into his lap as you let out a squeak. He brushed his nose along your neck, admiring his markings before you laid your head against his chest, "You're so fucking cute." He sighed as you buried your head in his chest, "I hope you know I mean it." He breathed, "I love you."

You sighed dreamily, "I love you, Kook." You mused, "I never knew I did, but it feels like I always have."

He squeezed you a little tighter, "And always will." You nodded with a smile and your eyes closed, missing his serious expression.

Jungkook was not messing around anymore. You were his now. He had everything he needed, and he would go to the ends of the Earth to keep it that way. You would hardly leave his sight, and he would give you the world. All you had to do was love him, be with him, stay near him, and he could ensure your wildest dreams would come true. You were his wildest dream, after all, it's the least he could do to pay you back for spending the rest of your life with him, right?

#yandere bts #yandere jungkook #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook #yandere smut #bts fanfic

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teentitanimals · 4 years

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Batfam as Cuddlers

What kind of cuddlers are the Batfam?? Let’s find out!

Bruce: At the start, he was almost scared of physical contact. No cuddles except for when little Dick would climb into his bed after a bad dream. But for every kid he gained, the more powerful his cuddles became. He’s still not a cuddle initiator, but he shies away from hugs no longer. He’ll plop down on the couch and won’t even flinch as his kids fight to sit beside him or on his lap. Carrie, Alina and Cullen will be sitting on his shoulders during a meeting and he won’t even notice.

Alfred: He’s the type that sits next to you and wraps his arm around you. Sweet, sturdy and supportive. Everyone likes his arm hugs.

Dick: Look. We all know what his cuddle status is. Major cuddler. Cuddles everything. Hugs and shoulder pats and hair ruffles and cheek pinches, he does it all. Once he had you, you can't get out.

Jason: Like I said in this post, Jason is the most cuddled in the family. He is not the one who cuddles others the most, no, he is the one who gets cuddled the most. He’s big, he’s warm, he’s strong, he’s tall- why would you not cuddle this man? He has enough space to get cuddled by multiple siblings at once. A whole cuddle party up in here. Not to mention when his siblings are having a mental breakdown, his solid, strong arms holding them to this realm of reality really helps.

Tim: He is an accidental cuddler. He doesn’t intentionally cuddle people, because he’s not super used to physical contact despite craving it all his childhood, but whenever he’s super tired- which is often- he can’t help but lean against the nearest heat source. He’ll cling to arms and legs given the accidental chance too. Dick found out that one of the best ways to get this idiot to sleep is to just plop down on top of him. The warmth and weight makes him more willing to sleep, mainly because he can’t move if you’re laying on top of him. Tim would always fight and whine when he did this, but Tim secretly likes when Dick does that, and was secretly happier when Dick passed that knowledge onto the other siblings, because now he had Steph and Cass and even Jason cuddling him. He was incredibly surprised when Damian did it, though. Damian was not heavy enough to weight Tim down, and Tim could have easily tossed him therefore ruining the whole idea, but he was just so shocked that he didn’t do anything. Damian, much to Damian’s annoyance, became the best “weight” to get Tim to sleep, and now the others tell Damian to go cuddle Tim when they need Tim to sleep.

Damian: The first time he got cuddled and didn’t fight it, he still couldn’t relax or go to sleep. If you were physically touching someone, then you shouldn’t be sleeping, that’s how it was in the League. They could hurt you, betray you. Damian could not fall asleep around other people, it was just impossible. So the day he did, he freaked. Did it mean he was losing his touch?!? Was all of his League training vanishing from him??? No, he simply trusted his family enough to sleep now. He didn’t realize it the first few times, and perhaps he still doesn’t. But if he falls asleep near you, he trusts you. If he falls asleep beside you, he trusts you a lot. If he falls asleep cuddling you, you are top tier trustworthy. If he willing initiates a cuddle with you and then falls asleep, you are God to him. When Dick found out this formula, he was ecstatic to know he was one of the ones Damian would cuddle willingly- in fact, Damian started to seek him out at night to cuddle. Dick was even more ecstatic when Damian willingly started cuddling with Tim, of all people, under the guise of “helping force Drake to get the proper amount of sleep.”

Cassandra: Similar to Damian, it was a bit difficult to adjust to cuddles. Especially because if she was facing away from the person it was harder to read body language, instead she had to feel it, which, was a bit harder since it wasn’t exactly like David had her practice hugging people. But she adjusted to cuddles quicker than Damian, and now she loves participating in big group cuddles. She isn’t a cuddle fanatic, by any means, she enjoys being free to move and roll over when she needs or wants to. But she still enjoys having her siblings nearby. It’s a taste of family life that she loves.

Duke: Back when it was just him and his parents, he always kept his door open. The problem here is an open door gets you more likely to have visitors in your room. Combine this with the problem that Duke’s room has become the official “No-Arguing-Quiet-Peace Zone”, he has a sibling in his room practically every moment of the day. Duke, used to always sleeping alone, was not prepared for people to just come in and plop onto his bed or floor or bean bags, at all. While he ended up adjusting to having other people in his room while he slept, he did not adjust as much to being cuddled while he sleeps. He’s fine with daytime cuddles, but nighttime cuddles are a bit much for him. His siblings respect that, and just sleep near him rather than right beside him. One perk, though, is that- because he was never a “go to his parents for nightmares” type (because his nightmares were never that bad- although they have gotten a bit worse lately)- he does appreciated waking up from a nightmare and hearing his siblings’ breath around him. It’s comforting.

Barbara: She doesn’t get a lot of opportunities for cuddles, but when she does, she’s a cuddle hound. She’ll just lay across them, uncaring if they can still breath or not. This is her time, not them time. The cuddles are for her.

Stephanie: She is a cuddle bug who, like Babs, does not care about your space. She also snores. And sometimes slobbers. She does not care. It is your fault for being so huggable. Just let her sleep, and do NOT wake her up. She's the one you'll just find randomly plopped beside you in the middle of the night. Do not disturb.

Carrie: She's a mix of Dick and Tim, where she wasn't raised with a lot of physical affection, but instead that does not stop her from cuddling the shit out of you. She is not an experienced cuddler, but her cuddle count is rising high within recent years. She's also the type who will cling to your back and just fall asleep like a sloth. She doesn't mind being disturbed from cuddles, but trying to get her to stop cuddling you is near impossible. Yes, unlike Dick, you can easily wiggle out of her cuddles, but the problem is she's persistent. You stop the cuddle now, you will merely get cuddled later. You are simply delaying the inevitable. Accept fate now or suffer the consequences. She might recruit Dick, and you don't want that.

Harper: She's the neutral cuddler. She likes cuddles, but she doesn't have a big history with them like Damian or Cass, or a proficiency like Dick and Carrie. They're just cuddles. Fun hair ruffles. Leaning on a fellow human being. Though, you might now want to let her fall asleep on top of you. She's nearly as hard as Dick to remove.

Cullen: He is not a super big cuddle fan, but he likes sleeping in the same room as other people. He's always slept near his sister, it's just most familiar for him. If he has any nightmares, it lets him know he can always just shimmy over to a Batsib and curl up beside them.

Helena: She used to be a big cuddler, but once she crossed over from Earth-2, she felt like she didn't know anybody well enough to hug them, much less cuddle. It was a slow and steady process, but she eventually got back into the habit of cuddling her siblings. She found she really missed it, and her sleep became much more tame.

Alina: She grew up with cuddle-hungry siblings. She had no choice but to be a cuddler. At some points she literally cannot fall asleep without a sibling cuddling her.

#batfam #batfamily #batman #damian wayne #dick grayson #batman and robin #jason todd #bruce wayne #tim drake #cassandra cain #batfam memes #batfamily headcanons #batman headcanon #batfamily fluff #harper row #cullen row #alina wayne #batman memes

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akechicrimes · 5 years

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it does matter, actually, that goro akechi is a minor. not because this somehow exonerates him morally, or because this somehow makes him not responsible for his actions, but because persona 5 is invested in children as a source of hope for a better future.

once i saw someone complain that people will defend akechi’s murders on the grounds that he’s a child/minor and how they felt that this doesnt excuse multiple counts of murder. and i was like, ok, well, im not sure anyone was excusing him, but alright, sure. and i’ve seen a few rebuttals to that, one of which is that shido and the other adults in akechi’s life had a responsibility to support akechi in such a way that it didn’t come to murder, and of course it’s on shido to just not be a massive dick who endorses fascism and murders in the first place. and i was like ok, well, this seems a little patronizing and dismissive of akechi’s agency and autonomy, but alright, sure.

in a very roundabout way of explaining my first two sentences, there’s one thing that bothers me lately, and it’s selim bradley from fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood.

for those of us not familiar with fma:b, selim, or pride, is the oldest homunculus/artificial human in the show and the second-oldest villain, despite the fact that he looks about eight years old. of the seven homunculus named after deadly sins, selim/pride is the only one to survive the show--with an asterisk, which is that selim gets the “homunculus” part of him erased by the end of the show. with the “pride” aspect of him gone, selim is mortal, without any special powers, without memories of any of his amoral acts, and is generally just a happy, normal child.

which is a weird exception to fma:b’s general rule in which every other homunculus dies. even fan favorites like greed and envy don’t live, despite the fact that greed and envy are far more sympathetic as characters. selim kills multiple people on-screen, shows zero remorse whatsoever, and is an active helper in all the other mass-murders that the homunculi engineer. selim’s not an innocent in any way. also, he’s like, 200 years old? 300? he’s very old. biologically, mentally, emotionally, selim is not a child.

but fma:b goes out of its way to make sure that selim gets a second chance at a future, just because his body looks like a child’s. cut another way, he gets an exception from a large number of terrible crimes, up to an including participation in genocide, just because he looks like a child.

fma:b reminded me that, outside of tumblr’s purity politics over children, and especially so in japan, children are socially constructed in a very specific way, beyond biological age and legal majority cutoffs.

yes, biological age is a thing. yes, legal majority is a thing. i’m not saying that being a child isn’t a biological thing--it is, obviously. but what i’m saying is that there’s a difference between, say, the sex assigned to you at birth and your gender presentation, to use an analogy. there is a such thing as biological age, but the societal status of being a child of a related but separate thing. and this status of being considered a child is a societal construct.

the social construction goes like this, insofar as i’m aware: children should be good and silent and dutiful and work hard and go to school and listen to their elders, and their elders in turn should do everything they can to guide the children to the right path and build a good society for these children to inherit. (if we want more details on this, please see the entire history of filial piety in asia.)

so that’s a social contract right there baked into the social construct of childhood: children don’t have power, but adults have an obligation to make sure they don’t need power, and to make sure that the future and their children’s futures look bright.

children represent the future, essentially. they’re the next generation. they’re simultaneously without legal rights as adults and in a very vulnerable position, for sure, but they’re also simultaneously considered the country’s most precious capital: quite literally the people who will inherit and lead the country next.

which, personally, i think puts a whole new spin on the phantom thieves in general. they’re not just kids who’re being rowdy or kids telling abusive shitty adults theyre being abusive and shitty--or, they’re kids doing those things, but they’re not just kids doing those things. they’re kids who’ve been specifically let down by adults who did not fulfill their social obligation to them. they’re kids who’ve been abandoned and neglected by the very adults who should have been paving the way forward for them, as society has asked those adults to do, because those adults have instead chosen to line their own pockets and cover their own asses.

so the kids said: alright, well, then i’ll take power for myself, and i’ll make my own future. (which is where we get a lot of those promo slogans of “steal back your future” and junk like that.)

sae’s comments about how adults should do their part to fix the world for the kids is just a resolidifying of the way the world “should” work, and we could talk about her comments on the matter, but actually i wanna talk about yoshida.

i especially want to talk about yoshida because yoshida and shido are the two politicians we see the most of, and both of them spend a lot of time reciting political rhetoric to speak to the hearts of the general japanese populace. we all know the way that shido thinks of japan: a large vehicle that one person is in control of, and the masses just compose the throne upon which the ruler sits.

we also already know that yoshida’s a Real G, but it’s worth really close-reading some of his lines. he speaks a lot about apathy, the lack of caring for each other in society--a general willingness to disregard your fellow man, to not uphold one’s social obligation to each other. but he also talks a lot about the “youth”--which is not really uncommon for a politician, obviously, since politicians are always talking about “the children” and “the kids” and “the next generation” and “those damn millennials” and all that shit.

yoshida instead gives us these fun lines:

A world where the young exist only to be exploited... is a world that must be changed!

And while our society appears to be prosperous, many of our young people are quietly suffering. They lack jobs, security, savings... The next generation will lead us into the future and yet they have no plan for how to arrive there.

Passing on the societal ills we have created to the next generation... is not right!

...the current administration refuses to discuss their plans for the future... Can we really accept such an utter lack of transparency?!

If you make a promise, you must keep it. If you make a mistake, you must atone for it. These are basic human principles that we have all learned from the youngest of ages...

yoshida’s entire thing about how the adults have let the children down isn’t just him saying shit--he’s commenting directly on the fact that the social contract has been broken, and he’s putting the blame on the administration for not upholding their responsibility to secure a future for the children, especially since the children are the future of the country.

this is partly why he doesn’t blame the phantom thieves for acting the way that they do; rather, he seems them as a logical reaction to the injustice that’s occurred as a result of the society that the adults have left for them:

I bet [the Phantom Thieves] are a group of young people. Young people who have experienced cruelty and injustice... They bravely face the societal ills that plague our world without thinking of the consequences.

(i think also in part he admires the fact that they’re anonymous and don’t benefit personally from their actions, which is exactly the opposite of what he did as a young politician. he also doesn’t throw the real embezzlement culprit under the bus to exonerate himself presumably for the same principle of desiring selfless public service instead of personal gain.)

in both the early parts of the s link and later on when yoshida starts talking with matsushita more extensively, akira’s important because he’s young--he represents the young demographic that yoshida and matsushita are discussing the future of. akira demonstrating support for yoshida in a public way means a lot because he’s a minor. matsushita asks akira for his opinions on the phantom thieves and other issues because akira is a minor. akira’s opinion is supposed to be heard and valued by adults, who should take his opinions into consideration and do their best to not let him down.

this is tied into the general thread of yoshida being a person who was self-admittedly just as corrupt as everyone else, who was blinded by glamor and fame and money, who got caught up in political scandal. yoshida’s general acceptance of his mistakes as a human being and politician ties over to his general belief that it’s not that the youth are rebellious no-good teens, but that the youth have been let down by politicians like who he used to be. he blames himself, and because he is not too different from the rest of the older generation and politicians in general, he implicates a lot of the older generation and politicians as also blame-worthy.

his quest for redemption and atonement dovetails neatly with his views on the broken societal contract. taken together, yoshida’s s link implies to us the idea that the entire general older generation in japan more or less owes the children of japan a formal apology, and the older generation better get on their redemption arc and start being the vanguard of the change for children:

The reason [the Phantom Thieves are] causing a stir is because they are addressing the world’s problems. Setting aside whether their actions are right or wrong... there is one thing I can safely say about the Phantom Thieves. A belief with conviction... has the ability to move a person’s heart.

I’m sure you are all aware that I am “No-Good Tora,” the one accused of embezzlement. However, because I was accused like that, I was able to understand the suffering of the weak. Why am I in politics? In the past, it was merely for personal gain. But why do the Phantom Thieves continue to change hearts? I believe they do it for the world and its people. And in choosing to do justice for others, they had no choice but to disguise themselves. No matter what the world says, I fully support them.

I’m just an average citizen. However, I will continue to voice my beliefs. I may not be able to become a Diet member this election... and I may not be able to effect change during my lifetime... but I’ve made my peace with that. I will be happy as long as I can be a meaningful stepping stone for the future of our youth!

okay. so that was a lot of close reading about yoshida. why did we do this exercise, tumblr user akechicrimes.

there’s two takeaways from this. the first is the one that yoshida has already talked about extensively, which is that the phantom thieves are just but not because Fuck Cops and Fuck Capitalism and Fuck Anime Jeff Bezos. the phantom thieves are just because the people who are supposed to be upholding society aren’t doing their fucking jobs. the phantom thieves are specifically saying: we’ve been let down by society, so apparently we have to do everything our goddamn selves around here.

(which also ties in neatly to the general “fuck cops” vibe of persona 5 which, i would like to say, is very specifically “the cops are not doing their jobs.” the TV station scene where akira speaks back to akechi is, if i’m remembering this right, maybe the ONLY time we really hear “akira’s” opinion on the morality of his own activities, which is fascinating because he just does these things without ever justifying himself to the player--anyway, his three options are: (1) They’re justice itself, (2) They’re necessary, and (3) They do more than the cops. so akira can’t ever at any point say that the phantom thieves are bad, but his most interesting and detailed answer is to point out that the cops aren’t doing what they’re supposed to do, so who can really blame the phantom thieves for doing what the cops aren’t?)

the second takeaway is that yes, goro akechi does get more leniency because he’s a minor.

yes. seriously. this isn’t a matter of excusing what he did, or downplaying the fact that he committing murder. i’m not saying that he wasn’t old enough to make decisions (although i would never say that he was old enough to make decisions, because he was 14/15 when he got wrapped up in shido’s conspiracy). i’m also not saying that akechi, somehow for some reason, didn’t volunteer himself willingly, because all the evidence points to the fact that he did (although of course “free will” is also highly circumspect considering his living conditions at the time and the fact that shido makes it clear that he was able to manipulate akechi without ever infringing on akechi’s sense of autonomy). i’m not even saying that akechi was driven to the point of murder and had no other choice (although i think that might also be true as well).

what i am saying is that under the construction of childhood as japan’s future and japan’s hope, akechi is considered a valuable member of society, and is therefore worth saving.

or at least he should be.

akechi says that he’s an unwanted child, but “unwanted child,” according to yoshida’s rhetoric (and a lot of japan’s general rhetoric of children as hope for the future) is an oxymoron. (or at least it would be an oxymoron if japan weren’t so fucking hypocritical.) you can’t not want the future of the country. you can’t not want hope for a good future. the very idea that a child could be not wanted or not valuable doesn’t make any sense, because children are the future--in some ways, whether you like it or not, that child is going to inherit the earth when you’re dead.

the kind of person who’d not want those things is--well, shido. (this is why i used yoshida; yoshida and shido are two polar opposite politicians.) shido quite literally does not want a good future for anyone in the country and quite literally does not want akechi and quite literally does not see akechi, one of the very young-person citizens that shido is supposed to be serving, as useful or valuable in any way unless akechi is directly promoting shido’s fame and popularity. shido being akechi’s father is just a very neat and nice way of literalizing the ways that shido, as an adult, has let down akechi as a child--the ways that shido quite literally owed akechi something to make akechi’s life and future better, and instead did everything awful.

there should not ever be a thing like “unwanted child.” that in and of itself, from the start of akechi’s life, was nonsensical. and to the extent that shido being akechi’s father is allegorical of the ways that shido is a terrible patriarch for japan, i would say that akechi, as an unwanted foster child, is just another allegory for the ways that children nowadays are treated as misbehaving, lazy good-for-nothings who have to work themselves into the dirt to be given half the salary and half the praise. akechi, as an unwanted child, is just the personification and representative of an apparently unwanted generation.

what i’m getting at is that akechi’s status as a minor (and yes he’s a minor even if he’s eighteen; age of majority in japan is twenty)--akechi’s status as a minor is a critical part of why akechi gets a shot at a redemption arc. so yes, actually, the other villains or palace-rulers don’t get redemption arcs because they are adults, who had a societal obligation to do better by their peers and by the children of japan. yes, actually, akechi’s informal “trial” in the hands of fandom is to be tried as a minor and not as an adult. yes, i know kamoshida didn’t kill anyone and akechi’s literal crimes are more morally repugnant, but yes, unfortunately, being a minor does actually exonerate him on the morality spectrum to a degree.

being a child matters in the larger scheme of persona 5′s logic of who owes who, who’s responsible for who, and why we should not be apathetic. adults owe children a better future. adults have been letting children down. adults owe every single phantom thief, including akechi, an apology, a better future, and health and happiness; and they owe that to japan’s future not as a matter of exchange or morals, but simple social obligation. adults are supposed to take care of the kids--full stop.

”okay but @ tumblr user akechicrimes?? akechi KILLED people.”

yeah, i know. i said “being a minor does actually exonerate him on the morality spectrum to a degree.”

what degree? no idea. that’s up to you to decide. if you want to play in the black-grey-white morality scale that only goes two ways, you’re welcome to continue to ask “what degree.” we can argue that being a minor somehow reels akechi back from the “black” end of the spectrum into the “grey” or “white” parts.

but (if i may be permitted to go completely off the shits into things that might make people pissed off at me for saying) i implore you to consider that this two-way scale of morality is not the line of thought that persona 5 is pursuing.

this, again, ties back into the social construction of a child. i’ve said “a child is representative of the country’s future” so many times i think it’s lost meaning, so let me dice it a different way: a child is socially constructed as representative of potential and hope. a child is socially constructed as the capacity for things to get better. in persona terms, a child is the fool at the start of their journey, all futures contained in one present, a vast multitude of could-be’s.

for a game very concerned with japan’s general societal ruin, children are not just in the position of having been let down by adults, but are--as the phantom thieves demonstrate--representative of better futures regardless of how terrible circumstances look in the current day. they are a source of believing one day this sad, depressing story might actually end with “and then they lived happily ever after.”

if i may go even more completely off the shits, take a look at this heckler from yoshida’s s link, which is the one that akira speaks back to in the middle of yoshida’s speech:

...I’ve been wrong this whole time. Even though someone has failed in the past, it doesn’t mean that person can’t try again.

this is to say, redemption arcs insofar as persona 5 (and also persona 5 royal, i think) is concerned is not a question of necessarily addressing the wrongs that have occurred. yoshida sets the bar pretty high in that yoshida does not ask for forgiveness for what he’s done, and instead simply accepts his actions and their consequences without attempting to lessen the blow. he embraces what he’s done in all its awfulness.

but because akechi is a a minor, and because akechi as a minor is getting wrapped up in persona 5′s train of thought about kids as the hopeful futures of japan, akechi is at the very least owed a chance to do better. as a minor, japan is societally contracte to give him the space to have the potential to be better and do better. nobody is obligated to forgive him, and indeed neither royal nor akechi ever seem to entertain this as a valid possibility. forgive, forget, reconciliation, retribution, and resolution seem to be all off the table, as if the very idea would minimize haru or futaba’s losses. the very conceit of the dreamworld in P5R wants to shoot down the very idea that the past can ever, to any degree, be fixed, remedied, or even emotionally resolved. akechi will have always killed wakaba and okumura and this fact will always be awful--full stop.

nevertheless, despite the fact that the past cannot be changed, akechi is still a minor. rather than attempting to resolve the issues of the past, akechi is still owed the space to become a beacon of potential change for the better in the future--which is also known as hope.

i’ve said this in other posts elsewhere, but persona games are like, obsessed with hope. they fucking adore that shit. why not? even in difficult times, even when things are terrible and you’re going through misery, if you at least have hope that one day things will be better, that life will change, that the new generation will step up to the plate and make the story have a happy ending, pain becomes easier to bear. and why not? persona games cover a breadth of difficult topics.

especially in a game like P5, which talks at length about modern day japan’s ailments, what good is it if the player walks away with a defeatist attitude that the future will be terrible?

if reality is malleable like morgana says, isn’t the first step to have hope that this is true?

this post has gone on a lot longer than i thought it would. but in any event. that’s why it is valid to say that akechi being a minor “exonerates” him to a degree.

also selim bradley lives because fma:b concurs that children are a hope for a better future and fma:b is particularly invested in this line of thought because it’s a story about edward transitioning from a child to a young adult who is learning about the ways that the world works and is also still just childlike enough to propose that the world shouldn’t have to work in the bloody, awful way that it does. selim is representative that all children should be given as many chances as possible to do and be better because they are representative of potential. if that wasn’t clear. lmao.

#meta #mine

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thezodiaczone · 4 years

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Aries Compatibility

ARIES + ARIES (MARCH 21 - APRIL 19) You're two high-strung, passionate Fire signs who both like to be the Alpha dominant. As such, you'll need to toss the hot potato back and forth, submitting to the other's rule—at times through gritted teeth. Acquiescence may not come naturally, but it builds a necessary trust. Aries is a paradox: you're the zodiac's infant (its first sign) and its gallant hero (you're ruled by warrior Mars). You want to save the world and be saved at the same time. You'll need to occasionally allow yourself to play wounded knight or damsel in distress, and let your mate charge to your rescue. However, don't spiral into neurotic helplessness or analysis paralysis. Nobody can beat a topic to death quite like you can—but that's what therapists are for, Aries. Neither one of you can be saddled with the emotional care and feeding of an adult baby. You're too independent for that. When your problems gain too much mental gravitas, it's time to move—literally. Disperse your Martian angst and anger with lots of physical exertion. As fellow adventurers, you travel well together. Try snowboarding, exotic bike tours, Costa Rican rainforest expeditions. Passionate sex is another antidote to prickly feelings for your high-touch sign. Like Aries Hugh Hefner, you have a champion libido (and an awesome sense of entitlement). Some Aries couples may mutually agree to flex the terms of your monogamy, although the jealousy it stirs might not be worth the trouble.

ARIES + TAURUS (APRIL 20 - MAY 20) The stubborn Bull locks horns with the willful Ram, nostrils flaring, heads bowed in determination. So begins a fierce but fiery courtship, as splashy and menacing as a Pamplona stampede. Aggression, however uncivilized, is part our Darwinian natures. It certainly is for your signs—who possess an arsenal of steamrolling tactics, from doe-eyed charm to old-fashioned philistine strong-arming. No weak-willed mate will survive your natural selection process. Nor should he. Neither one of you feels safe in the arms of a mate who can't protect you. Thus, your initial faceoff is simply a warning shot: Show me your strength so I can trust you. Once the fanfare is over, you make a great team—like British pop royalty Victoria (Aries) and David (Taurus) Beckham.

As tight as two mafiosos, you like to dress up and flaunt your natural superiority over the rest of the animal kingdom. The deal is sweet for both of you. Taurus gets an attractive show pony and a lusty mate to satisfy his Earthy libido. Aries has a lifelong provider and benefactor to supply creative freedom and endless playtime. Issues can arise if Taurus grows too possessive or tries to tame independent Aries. Indulgent Taurus will need to remain active to keep pace with the energetic Ram (read: lay off the nightly steak frites and vino). You both crave attention, but don't go looking for it outside the relationship, unless you want a real showdown. Like two tots in a nursery, you share a favorite word: Mine!

ARIES + GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUNE 20) ♥♥♥♥ You're the best of friends, so why not throw in some benefits? You certainly can…but not so fast. Your common traits are exactly what can snuff the spark before it combusts. Namely: impetuous, reckless, unstoppable drive for instant gratification. You want what you want, and you want it NOW. Sure, the adrenaline you evoke from trading edgy banter, bungee jumping, or playing footsie under the conference table might convince you that you're soulmates. However, this attitude will lead to an inchoate relationship, with the two of you skydiving into City Hall before you even know each other's middle names. It doesn't all come out in the wash, so check that laissez-faire attitude when you're ring shopping on the second date. That said, you do have the makings of a great match that's rooted in true friendship, intellectual chemistry and fun. The key is to pace yourselves and to continuously bring new adventures to the table. Boredom is the enemy; it leads to cat-and-mouse games and mental chess matches with each other. Remain active: get involved in a political campaign, build houses for the poor, take an eco-tour or scuba lessons. Host and attend lots of parties with your mutual friends, and busy yourselves with projects that satisfy your short attention spans. Above all, don't turn to each other for advice, unless you like impatient, tough-love coaching and draining circular conversations. Not exactly the soothsaying your sweetie needs in a rare vulnerable moment.

ARIES + CANCER (JUNE 21 - JULY 22) Aries is the zodiac's baby (its first sign); Cancer is its matriarch, ruling the fourth house of motherhood, home and family. Is this relationship doomed to be an Oedipal cliche? Not if you temper these traits through steady, conscious self-development. Otherwise, you easily lapse into automatic roles that polarize you into a parent-child (or master-and-servant) dynamic. Aries can be selfish—not maliciously, but in a crude, clueless style that leaves Cancer resentful and dismayed at the Ram's lack of nuance. Cancer knows how to play the nurturing giver, but this delicate sign needs room to be vulnerable, too. Aries loves to be coddled, but Cancer's maternal indulgences will create a spoiled brat or a demanding diva. Besides, while the Crab may have a tough outer shell, the true warrior is Aries, ruled by aggressive Mars. Your differences are many: Aries is a diehard independent and Cancer is a family guy; Aries needs freedom, the Crab's possessive grip clings tight. You'll need to compromise, or else the relationship can turn into a competitive, jealous hotbed. You can both brood with the best of them, and your dark days eclipse even the tiniest sliver of hope. Talk about depressing. Swear off the silent treatment and learn to communicate as two adult equals.

ARIES + LEO (JULY 23 - AUGUST 22) Aries and Leo are Fire signs who love drama, passion and extreme adventure. You're a flashy, outspoken duo that plays by your own bold agenda. Restless souls, you need lots of physical and intellectual stimulation—politics, inspiring conversations, startup businesses—you'll juggle them all, making it look so easy. Of course, your emotional meltdowns require a team of therapists and devoted friends to fix, and you should keep those folks on speed dial. Adrenaline is your favorite drug; no surprise Aries Jennifer Garner and Leo Ben Affleck fell in love while co-starring in the action flick Daredevil. Like this Hollywood pair, who refuses to walk the red carpet together on principle, you respect each other's autonomy. Fire signs are by nature independent. You both need to make your own mark on the world, and you don't like anyone stealing your shine. In fact, trouble starts when one of you eclipses the other's big moment or makes the other look foolish in public. Rule number one: don't compete. With your rash tempers, it won't end well. Instead, be each other's biggest fans and champions. As the relationship progresses, put more effort into dressing up, especially if you become parents. Because you're so comfortable together, you could end up bumming around in burp cloths and track suits, dulling the sexy edge that attracted you in the first place.

ARIES + VIRGO (AUGUST 23 - SEPTEMBER 22) The razor's edge between love and hate lives in this common but contradictory coupling. Your attraction feels so fated, it's impossible to resist. Fire-sign Aries loves freedom and risk, but helplessly falls for prudent, parental Virgo, an Earth sign landlocked by practicality and protocol. The tips of Virgo's gossamer wings are singed by Aries' flame—yet, into the fire the Virgin flutters. Both signs have a hero complex, and this relationship centers around fixing each other, or exposing the other to new ways of life. For the first six to twelve months, it's exhilarating. Arduous Aries hand-delivers Virgo's sexual awakening with passion that's tender and all-consuming. Cautious Virgo teaches the impetuous Ram how to slow down, prepare and look both ways before crossing. New facets of your personalities unearth themselves—how lovely! Once the hormone flood is no longer at high tide, however, there are glaring differences to negotiate. Virgo's well-intentioned criticisms feel like a character assault to Aries ("who cares how I fold my T-shirts? I'm still a good person!"). Aries' myopic selfishness makes Virgo feel resentful and unappreciated—especially after hours of listening to the Ram's diatribes with the patience of a paid analyst. At this point, you realize that you've spent way too much time together, and you've lost touch with the outside world. Roll out of bed and reconnect with your individual friends, hobbies and interests. Trust that the other one will be there when you return.

ARIES + LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23 - OCTOBER 22) ♥♥♥♥ You're opposite signs who can match up well, but you sometimes baffle one another, too. Aries rules the self and Libra rules relationships. Libra is a lover; Aries is a fighter. Your polar extremes can be a great complement if you borrow what the other does best. Rash, temperamental Aries could stand to give others the benefit of the doubt, to look before leaping—something the wise Judge does well. Languid, overly accommodating Libra can learn to speak up, say no, and take action instead of pondering the possible consequences for a year. Although your differences can be irritating, they also make you a well-rounded couple if you play them right. When Aries needs to rant, patient Libra offers uninterrupted listening, capped with sage, sensible feedback. In return, Aries helps Libra overcome a mortal fear of conflict, teaching this sign how to stand up for his rights. As parents, or even business partners, you play the good cop/bad cop routine like seasoned pros. Just be willing to adjust your internal thermostats as needed. Hotheaded Aries will need to dial down the anger, lest all that concentrated emotion throw Libra's scales off balance. Erudite Libra will need to descend from that lofty, cultured perch and take a bold risk. (No, Aries does NOT consider ten years a reasonable time to wait for an engagement ring—and never will.) Compromise is essential for you to find a rhythm.

ARIES + SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23 - NOVEMBER 21) Aries' ruler, passionate Mars, also wields minor command over Scorpio (whose main overlord is Pluto). Fierce physical attraction draws your signs together, but it's a game of sexual gunpowder and erotic explosives. Not that either of you is afraid of such things. No sign is as darkly intense as watery Scorpio. When mixed with Aries' concentrated fire-power, you stir up quite the hydroelectric charge. However, this match can only last if Scorpio has evolved from a ground-dwelling, vengeful scorpion into an elevated "eagle" state. Here's the fundamental challenge: Aries takes; withholding Scorpio takes away. When Aries reaches out his grasping hand, Scorpio's first instinct is to jump back, which wounds the sensitive Ram. Aries energy is consuming, which leaves Scorpio weak-kneed but scared. Aries will need to temper the raw desire, or at least mask it to avoid overwhelming Scorpio. Jealous Scorpio will need to stop Google-stalking Aries and hiring private detectives whenever the independent Ram goes out for a beer with friends. One way in which you're alike? You're both hyper-sensitized to abandonment, and may even shun each other in a self-protection paradox: "Go away before you leave me." (This tactic only guarantees another hot reunion tryst.) Selfishness can also be this couple's downfall. Scorpio is the sign that rules other people's resources—his karmic job is to create wealth from another man's pocket. Aries is simply born entitled. In a sense, you both live by the credo "What's mine is mine; what's yours is mine." Who will refill the coffers once you empty them?

ARIES + SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 21) ♥♥♥♥ Chemistry and simpatico build fast between these two Fire signs, and you find a twin soul in each other. You're both independent explorers, driven by lust, joie de vive and a breathtaking moxie that others mistake for arrogance. That brio and derring-do is the badge of your spiritual kinship—a primal mating call that draws you together. You share a blunt sense of humor, and naturally understand the other's need for space and autonomy (at least at first). Thrilling conversations traipse expansive terrain: philosophy, art, human nature, science, spirituality, dreams. Together, the impossible feels probable, and your natural confidence soars higher. Caution: the view from your rosy lenses can be a bit myopic. Sagittarius is a gambler and Aries is a charging knight—neither thinks far ahead. You'll need crash insurance for the times that your grand schemes don't reach your projections. At moments, you both lapse into overthinking, which can kill the celebratory vibe. Aries also has a greater need to for coddling and personal attention. At times, the Ram may resent competing with Sagittarius' busy career, social schedule and hobbies—and Sagittarius gets impatient with Aries' needy spells. When angered, your burning tempers can raze a national forest to ash. Be careful not to unleash a spiteful spark, for that's all it takes to destroy this treasured landscape.

ARIES + CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22 - JANUARY 19) Aries is the Alpha in most relationships, but here the Ram meets his match. In the Goat, Aries finds a more seasoned pack leader, and backs into a rare state of obedience. This weighty respect comes from Capricorn's ruler, wise old Saturn, the planet of maturity, authority and command. Capricorn is the zodiac's father sign; Aries is its firstborn child. It's the difference between a king and a knight, a queen and a duchess. Both are noble, but one is clearly the elder. This can be a dealbreaker for Aries in some cases, as too much paternalism makes this independent sign run for freedom. However, it usually works. Although Aries can be a hellish brat, Capricorn is unruffled and even amused by the tantrums, giving Aries space to act out. If you accept your cosmic roles, you can make excellent partners in both love and business. Aries is ruled by warrior Mars, and Capricorn is a four-star general by nature. You both see life as a battlefield to conquer, and with Aries' grit and Cap's determination, there's no goal you can't achieve. Earthy Capricorn excels at structure and planning, and is the terra firm beneath the Ram's restless hooves. Fiery Aries is a daring playmate who amuses, excites and entertains the sober Goat, especially in the bedroom (where Capricorn has a lesser-known lusty side). Aries is a flirt, and this can spark jealousy in traditional Capricorn. Over time, trust and mutual respect abolish the Goat's fears, and you make supportive lifelong partners.

ARIES + AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20 - FEBRUARY 18) ♥♥♥♥ You're laugh-a-minute friends who make a fine comedic duo, but the romance isn't as hearty as your side-splitting guffaws. You're amazed by how quickly the other delivers a hilarious comeback or a clever opinion, and it turns you on. Banter leads you to the bedroom fast, where the sex is playful and experimental (though not heavy on the emotional connection). It's as though you've met your twin; and alas, you may soon feel more like siblings than lovers. After a couple weeks, the Bickersons sideshow routine gets old, especially for Aries, and you run out of things to talk about. While casual Aquarius likes to keep the conversation light, Aries has intense, brooding spells that demand way too much emotional attention. For Aquarius, problems are solved with steely logic or left alone, but Aries is unable to curb obsessive thinking, which drives Aquarius mad. Your styles of affection are different, too. Cool Aquarius gets overwhelmed by the Ram's passion and physicality—there's way too much touching, grabbing and kissing for the airy Aquarian temperament. If you're determined to be together, push yourselves to go beyond platonic borders by traveling, taking classes, even performing on stage together. Closeness breeds more ennui than affection. Cultivate mystery through time apart. Your independent signs need to develop your own lives, then reunite with thrilling tales from the road.

ARIES + PISCES (FEBRUARY 19 - MARCH 20) Aries is the zodiac's first sign, Pisces its last. You're the Alpha and the Omega, the dawn and the sunset. You're as far apart and as close together as two signs can get. Although your differences are vast, you also have a broad expanse of material from which to fashion your relationship. Your polar positions can actually make you a great match. Aries loves to be adored and spoiled, and generous Pisces will give everything in the name of love. In Pisces' worshipful gaze, Aries feels brilliant and boundless, and his insecurities melt away. This is important for the sensitive Ram, whose "wounded soldier" archetype is healed by the Pisces nurse. In this relationship, Aries is free to follow his natural hunting instincts; Pisces prepares a banquet from his conquests. The danger: You both have vivid imaginations, but with two dreamers at the helm of this romance, the ship can veer off course. Aries is a take-charge leader, but needs a strong second mate. Bravado and confidence don't come easy to insecure Pisces, who falls into feigned helplessness under duress. Moody spells are common for your signs, and digging yourselves out of emotional ditches can be a challenge. You'll need a council of advisors to help you manage aspects of daily life—accountants, lawyers, coaches, therapists. Aries can be naturally aggressive, where Pisces is passive or passive-aggressive. You'll need to adapt your communication styles in order to be heard.

#aries #compatibility #astrology #zodiac #love #relationships #aries compatibility

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lesbiancarat · 4 years

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Book anon here to say today is a happy day because it is dk and vernon day ^0^ the fact they share bdays makes my heart so big like djakdnaks that's the best thing really! (I say this as I don't like celebrating my own birthday lol but that shiz makes me soft) like how can it not get better than sharing a birthday with your fellow bandmate who is also your buddy :'))

Back on topic, I am happy that in the fandoms I'm in, update blogs or accounts are well loved so no drama there but I agree on cc peeps, my gosh the decline of them is obvious for the past 2 years =/ I remember 2018 the carat fandom here was HUGE with creators and lots of notes but now...its hard to see more than 200 for some and while numbers don't matter because you should ALWAYS be doing this for fun, its so shocking to see the interaction go so low and its more likes. I do have a theory as to why this is the case and it might be due to nowadays, people on Tumblr find reblogging alot to be "too much" akaspamming. I would know because some told me I do this and I'm like ??? I am simply reblogging content I like and if it means hitting the rbelog limit so be it djajdjw. Legit idk why its seen as bad nowadays when everyone used to reblog alot and no one complained so maybe this could be why? Again a theory but it would make sense and its a shame if this is the case :c I admit I like stuff because I sometimes do reblog it for a color theme but mostly I hit the reblog limit so I want to reblog it later xD

But let's not get into people that take others work as their own -.- now I get giving credit for say icons (I do this for icons and headers I use because its the least I can do. I would link it but idk how to do it on Tumblr lol) but taking someone's say gif and just posting it on twitter to share is like ??? You do know there is a share button that SHARES THE ORIGINAL LINK BACK RIGHT? Smh i can't with people. That's why I try to make sure for icons at least I know its not a repost and try to stay away from pintrest as best as I can (also svt on pintrest? Are they making moodboards or smth? I leave Tumblr for a bit and this is what I come back to lol)

Oof I wrote too much again sjamdna I'm living up to my emoji huh? XD but yes my tooth is better! It hurt again last night but today we are good!

I'm late answering this but yeah the fact that dk and vernon share a Birthday is super sweet! it's fun that they get to do their birthday live together as well ^^

but yeah i joined carat tumblr around late 2017/early 2018 (i made this side blog during oh my era but I'd been reblogging svt stuff on main before then) and I'm p sure most if not all the cc's i originally followed are inactive now :( obviously like you said content creators should make content for fun and bc they want to and not for the notes, but it's understandably disheartening when less people are interacting with it and even the people who do still see your content are (at least seemingly) less enthusiastic about it (ie liking but not reblogging it, less ppl writing things in the tags or replies, etc.)

but that's so wild to me? I've never heard anyone say someone is reblogging too many things like... how do you expect to see posts if people don't reblog stuff?? id welcome that extra content on my dash dhfjfh. i guess you can go in specific tags but like. idk reblogging is the main function of tumblr i don't know why there are people sort of against it/not as willing to use it (i mean... i suspect at least one factor is other social media platforms relying more on algorithms and likes to show people new content and ppl are just more used to that maybe?)

i feel like to some extent people feel entitled to have every or any gif or fanart or fan content on their platform of choice, but like if an artist posts something on tumblr but not on twt or instagram it doesn't HAVE to be on twt or insta. people can make a tumblr (or whatever platform) account if that's the only place a creator is active and they really want to see their content. and if people want to share something cool to another platform it is not hard to just post a link to the original post and tell people to check it out. like i do that every once in a while if there's a translation that doesn't allow reposts, but i still want ppl to know that trans exists if they wouldn't normally. and yeah!! you're gonna get less engagement that way!! but that's when you need to question whether your intention is really to share something cool w people who wouldn't normally see it or if you just want clout from this cool thing for yourself

and obviously not everyone who reposts things wo credit or permission has such innocent intentions as "i want to share this cool thing" but i think in a lot of cases it is something similar to that where ppl see something and they want to use it or share it for whatever reason and they just forget that it's something an actual person took the time to create and chose to share it. fan creations, unless otherwise specified, are not like memes in that they're intended to be shared and edited and copied to hell and back

but yeah pinterest is the worst in terms of reposts. like very little if any of the content on there (at least that's fandom related) is original content. the vast majority is reposts from other platforms without credit. a few weeks ago i saw someone on twt post like an old SVT photo or something and someone asked where it was from and they were like 'idk i saw it on pinterest' and when i tell u my blood boiled dhfkfj like!! ok!! so you're reposting a repost and u have no idea what the original source is... great

but yeah i have no idea what SVT is gonna do with pinterest... guessing it's just gonna be pledis posting official/behind photos that they also post on twt anyway. it really looks like it's something bh made them create given other bhl artists also have pinterests they're all following each other. also pledis didn't even officially announce the new account opening anywhere as far as I've seen so like. i think they really don't care dhfkfj

i really don't know what bh thinks they're gonna gain though like. ik there are active fandom pinterest users but i think most of them also have other social media like twt or insta. like they're not cracking open a huge new market, and LITERALLY NO ONE expects any musician or celeb to have an official Pinterest so. it's just so unnecessary dhfkgj

I'm glad your tooth is feeling better!!!

#melia.ask #ask #📖 anon #oof prime example of me getting carried away and writing too much #this was meant to be a quick break from studying #theres another ask in my inbox which is short anyway but i really have to get back to hw and studying ;-;#long post

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kassldyembcrr · 4 years

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is that [CHRISSY COSTANZA]? no, that’s just [KASSIDY ‘KASSI’ RUOCCO]. [SHE/HER] is [TWENTY TWO] years old and is a [MAKEUP ARTIST / MUSICIAN]. they’ve been in town for [ALL HER LIFE]. on a good day, they’re [CAPTIVATING & LOVABLE]. but watch out! they can also be [EMOTIONAL & OUTSPOKEN]. [THIS IS GOSPEL BY PANIC! AT THE DISCO] plays in my head whenever i think of them. can’t wait to see them around Springhill!

BASIC FACTS:

kassidy ‘kassi’ ember ruocco was born right here in springhill to your everyday ‘average’ italian ( they’re very proud of that part ) family !

she’s the oldest of two – having a little brother who means the absolute world to her !

honestly, kassi would take a bullet for her little brother, any day !

when she was seven , kassi got a new neighbor ; a little korean boy , a year older than her , who she quickly nicknamed ‘moonie’ .

from the moment they met , the two were quickly crowned best friends and have been inseparable every day since !

kassi actually grew up as quite the tomboy ! she has an undeniable love for skateboarding and video games !

her love for beauty products and being ‘girly’ didn’t develop until she was a teenager !

she got her first makeup palette for her thirteenth birthday, and she’s been hooked ever since !

she made her first youtube makeup tutorial when she was sixteen and almost immediately started to make a name for herself !

since that first video, she’s gained a total of 812k subscribers !

she’s also a massive music junkie ! it’s definitely her favorite pastime ! there’s rarely a minute that goes by where she doesn’t have some kind of music playing - whether it’s out loud or through headphones !

she’s actually got a very beautiful singing voice, though she didn’t believe people at first when they would tell her that !

when she was seventeen, she and two of her best friends got together and filmed a cover video for one of their favorites songs and decided to take a risk and post it to her youtube channel !

the cover ended up going viral, and after a number of people suggesting they do it regularly, the trio decided to form an official band, naming themselves ‘infinity’ !

instead of posting their covers to her personal channel, kassi created a youtube channel strictly for their band, and they began to post a cover a week to their channel !

as of today, their band’s youtube channel has nearly 1m subscribers !

after high school graduation, kassi enrolled in cosmetology school and eventually graduated with a cosmetology degree !

after earning her cosmetology degree, kassi’s goal was to be a ‘makeup artist to the stars’ and after a million and one failed attempts at scoring that job, she finally landed herself a job working as tierney & teagan suarez’s personal makeup artist !

since working with the twins, she’s also done makeup for a number of other celebrities and is always willing to work with new ones if need / want be !

she hasn’t forgotten about the singing thing though, promise !

infinity turned out to be quite the hit around springhill and often does sold out local gigs in and around the town !

they’ve also had the honor of being the opening act for a number of well known bands !

they don’t tend to get out of springhill to perform often, but they still post a number of videos ( including live performances ) to their youtube channel so that fans from across the world can still have access to their music !

infinity has released a couple of albums, but they were all produced independently, as they’ve never been signed to a proper record label ( that is , until this year , when they got signed to their very first one ) !

with her best friend , moonie , being a photographer , kassi has quickly named him the official photographer for infinity !

if she was going to be in that ‘cinnamon roll’ meme, she’s be the ‘looks like a cinnamon roll, could actually kill you’ one !

kassi’s super duper sweet and adorable, but is very blunt and outspoken ! don’t cross her unless you’re prepared to handle the aftermath of her wrath !

oh, and she’s ‘the lost boys’ ( aka danny’s band’s ) like biggest fan ! she’s so platonically in love with him, it’s ridiculous ! you know who she’s also platonically in love with ? moonie !

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS:

SPRINGHILL NATIVES - she’s from here, so she probably knows a lot of the people that are also from her, considering they grew up together !

OTHER YOUTUBERS - the youtube community is somewhat like a family, so she’d automatically be drawn to other artists !

FELLOW MAKEUP ARTISTS / BEAUTY GURUS - someone she can talk all things beauty with? yes please !

SOMEONE SHE’S DONE MAKEUP FOR - she’s a celebrity makeup artist, so it would be fun to know people she’s done makeup for. she also does it for non-famous people too though !

FELLOW SINGERS - girl likes to sing, so she’d definitely like someone else that also has a passion for singing !

A MUSICAL MENTOR - just because she’s youtube famous doesn’t mean she 100% knows what she’s doing, so having someone who DOES know what they’re doing to take her under their wing would be epic !

EX(ES) - she’s still fairly young, but she’s old enough to have dated a person or two !

CRUSH(ES) - this could either be someone she has a crush on, or someone who has a crush on her !

BEST FRIEND(S) - girl needs someone she’s close to and can hang out with on a regular basis !

RIDE OR DIE - literally kassi’s favorite person on this planet. her absolute BESTEST friend. someone she trusts with ALL her secrets and would do ANYTHING for ! the yin to her yang. the peanut butter to her jelly. you get the idea !

( i will update this as i come up with more headcanons / facts about kassi, but in the meantime - like this or message me if you want to plot with my adorable cinnamon roll of a child ! )

#springhillintro #( intro. )#( we've got wild fire in our bones | musings . )#( to be tagged . )

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thestudyfeels · 5 years

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100 Days of Sweat

Welcome to the official admission post for the 100 days of sweat challenge! *plays the conquer theme song and does a booty pop* This is a pretty long post, but has everything you need to start, so read on!

READING TIME: 6 minutes.

OoOh? What's that?

Thanks for coming out of the cave! In short, it's a consistency challenge to turn working out into a habit.

You've basically got to move your body for a 100 days straight. No slacking, no backing out!

Most take on this challenge personally, but I felt accountability would be great for those beginning with exercising & those who can't seem to keep their streak (cough, me).

Sounds fun! How do I join? Do I need to do a booty pop too?

Booty pops are appreciated. But here's how!

1. First things first, decide whether you'll be joining via IG, Discord or staying on Tumblr.

2. If using IG, reply to this post with your handle or (alternative) if you'd like, join Discord instead! For that, click here to join the server!

(NOTE: Those who joined via the first post I created regarding this needn't reply again! I've already added you to the list.)

3. Lastly, boost this! Reblog, get your followers to join! Drag your friend or sibling in! (already dragged my bestie into this in case no one joined in lmao)

Important PSA: yO, ANYONE can join! All my beginners and winners, young teens and old pals, drarry fans and johnlock shippers, team cold water AND hot water (sparing y'all because I stan working out more), EVERYONE!

Here's what I'll do:

I'm creating an IG group for those interested in staying fully committed. (Pros include making friends! Or enemies, for a hundred whole days! Some of you might even get married together, I have high hopes because wedding cake is everything)

Sayani from @studign-stars will be the admin for Discord! You can hit her up for queries, if any.

In short, there'll be 3 separate groups. One for those joining via Discord, one for those on the IG group, and a third for those staying on Tumblr.

If you wish to use any other platforms like Snapchat and Twitter, feel free! Also plug your progress on Tumblr too so we can hype each other on! (tag stuff with #100dos)

+ That said, I highly suggest joining either one of the groups, for accountability does wonders. It's now up to you, fellow warrior.

How to prep for this challenge:

OhO! There's a whole lot prepping to be slayed. To finish this challenge as smoothly as possible, here's a few steps. Make this easier for yo’ lazy bum.

1+ Firstly, grab a marker and scrap paper (when you on a student budget, cuz same) and write down numbers from 1 to 100. I did 1 to 30 to prevent myself from being overwhelmed, but do right them numbers to gain momentum.

2+ Take couple before photos. From the front, and the side. If you don't want to, take them anyway and store it in a folder you never open. Also measure your weight, and if you have a measuring tape, take other basic measurements of the chest, waist, arm etc.

3+ Coming to the main part! Pick your 'base’ routine. This is the primary workout you wanna do 2-3 times a week. It's the main course!

For beginners, I suggest choosing a 15 min full body workout. Do try it out before you start 100 days— make sure it's challenging enough.

For those who already move their bodies, pick a workout that aligns with your long-term goals. If you want toned legs, pick a leg day routine. If you want abs, focus on abs.

My base routine is the Beginner's Bodyweight Workout (BBW) from the NerdFitness website. I do 3 sets of the entire routine (takes around 25-30 mins) thrice a week.

So, do some research and pick a workout! Doesn't have to be an hour long at all, just make sure it's time-effective and challenges you.

4+ Find your cheat day workout.

Yikes, the wording is kinda incorrect, but anything for the clickbait.

This is the workout you do 2 days a week, and is the second most important workout. (This means: 3 + 2 = 5, you’ve now got five days planned!)

I do Alexis Ren’s ab routine (I hate it) twice a week because abs are my target zone. For you, it could be arms, thighs, butt, anything!

5+ Leave your last two days for simple moving.

It's up to you to decide what's going to be cooking in the remaining two days. For suggestions, you can pick a fun activity, say yoga, handstands, cartwheels, splits, any form of dancing like hip-hop, Zumba etc.

I'm trying to do a handstand this year and get my middle splits already (I fell off track so I still have quite a way to go) so I'll be stretching and doing hand flexibility exercises in the last 2 days.

Or you can just go for a jog or a power walk. Just keep the momentum going!

A quick recap:

To summarize, you're doing a major workout 3 times a week, a toning workout (mine is abs) twice a week and a fun activity in the last two days.

Also, mix this up. Your muscles need time to heal, and I strongly emphasize leaving the next day free for lighter activities after doing a major workout. Here's my routine, as an eg:

Do remember that this is just a STARTING POINT, because we don't want you to wake up everyday and be like “wut I do today.” It's now your mission to plan your workout routine. Consider taking more workload or reduce it as per your level (this is definitely a lot, try reducing if you're just beginning).

Also important: DETERMINE your workout routine NOW. I spent 2 years (only stopped like 3 months ago) doing YouTube videos haphazardly. This works, because you are working out after all, but it's a pretty lousy method if you want consistent results. Also makes you depend on motivation to workout (which has probability results equal to me marrying Tom Felton), whereas if you had a routine, you'll have to workout because it's in your schedule and you'd be a loser to lie to your schedule.

Is this a lot? It's a lot. I know.

If this is overwhelming you, don't back away darling. Face your fears. Here are some reasons to not back out—

The entire challenge is flexible: You don't have to follow that routine ^ if you don't want to. Starting out, you can do a major workout 2 times a week and fill the other 5 days with fun stuff. You can always change the routine later, 100 days is a long ass time.

The challenge fucks with your mindset and strengthens it: 100 days of continuous movement is CRAZY. Can you imagine how strong (mentally too!) we'll all be at the end? You'll have grown so much!

Working out will become a habit: I've been working out for 2 years now, and it has positively affected every single sphere of my life. Exercising is the #1 habit I suggest everyone build. Since science says it takes 66 days to build a habit, we're ON it.

You'll be really proud of yourself: I know I'll be. I'm literally going to hug y'all at the end of it, and sing jingles about how far you've come. 2019 will have been slayed.

I could go on and on, but this is it. Now's the moment. This is about doing something you're afraid of. Taking risks. Learning, falling, getting back up.

Thence, ladies, gents and non-binary pals, THIS is the 100 days of sweat challenge. You're cordially invited to it.

(We're dramatic, yes.)

🌻 !!! MAJOR PSA & DEADLINES:

The challenge itself begins on 10th April, 2019.

You'll be added to the IG group latest by 7th April.

Because I'm your mom, I'll add everyone in, tell you the details and everything. If you’ve got any questions, jump into my inbox now and get them answered.

That said, please remember that I won't take anyone in midway (no, not even if you buy me free tacos for a year). So join in now & spread the message! The more, the merrier! Bring beer too!

Thanks for joining in! This will be promising and hugely interesting (accountability can do wonders, but we'll see). I'll be waiting for you on the other side with my stuffed animals, cIaO fReNdOs!

— Nandini (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ 💌

letting my taglist folks know (which you can join here!)

@doctorearlgray, @mintschlar, @procrastilate, @scienceandsarcasticdroids, @sxudying, @hannistudies, @vocative, @studign-stars, @ash-trological, @sweet-bean-study-queen, @chaoticstormthings, @lunetudes, @beingstudent, @beautiful-magicalbrain, @akydemics, @literery, @redvelvetstu-dies, @vivinotes, @jynsdesk, @moonshinestudies, @studying-in-chaos, @thelazyunistudent, @einstetic, @ram-the-blonde-bitch, @a-students-lifebuoy, @studahliless, @inspostudying, @the-diary-of-a-failure, @would-iwasshookethspeared, @coffeeandpies, @artsytourism, @gloomstudy, @scrolls-of-jupiter, @studytrivia, @ristudy, @isatriestostudy, @historicalbeez, @luvjoys, @indiaisstudying, @studyingunderwater, @dianeemay, @kemi-k, @londonotes, @froststudies, @pennyfynotes, @studiently, @midnightstudying, @unicorndoesstudies, @studyingundersun, @wingedprunepsychiclawyer, @tonystarkstudies, @delphinaaugery, @morganastudy, @studiies-psych, @sumastudies, @emrys-studies, @parleonstudies, @acataemic, @studylustre, @adelinestudiess, @sorcierstudies, @coffeeinfusedstudying, @pizza-and-studying, @the-third-me, @scrunchiestudies, @jemsjournals, @jas-study, @jabuticabablr, @khelmatic, @avastvdies + you, if you’re reading this!

#100dos #unicorn studying #studign-stars #inspostudying #looklibraerie #heypfyn #jacistudies #lunetudes #ash-trological #studylustre #gloomstudy #dahliless #moonshinestudies #athenastudying #heypat #heylondonotes #adelinestudiess #hanniscup #heyindia

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best-science-dad-tony · 5 years

Note

Are you all still active? And do you accept oc rp accounts or only canon based ones?

((Oh boy.

So here’s the thing...I’m probably not going to give these blogs quite the attention I did in the beginning, and I should explain why because you all deserve that.

At first, I didn’t think these things would go anywhere. I figured they’d be fun to play around with, banter, get some jokes in and see a few likes, maybe a reblog or two. But then they started gaining traction, and before I knew it, people were invested in my silly little accounts.

I wrote down a quick sketch of a plot and some ground rules for myself, rules that I intended to follow. I essentially wrote a post-Endgame story before Endgame after I saw Infinity War incorporating the elements I wanted to see in the next movie. At the time I was one person. No one was helping me. I knew I wanted to tell a story you all could participate in and enjoy, and to do that I thought it was best if I laid out a groundwork for myself on ways to do that. Things like resolving to answer every Ask, even if it was just to warn the person to stop what they were doing. To adopt every kid (at first that wasn’t on Anon but then I gave in). To give you guys Milestone rewards as thank yous, because even when I just hit fifty subscribers on Tony’s blog, I was ecstatic and appreciated you all so much, and felt like you deserved something so I could show you my gratitude. Unfortunately, before they went up...someone forced me to use one I wasn’t expecting. Literally right after I had made the rule for myself.

I told myself that if anyone found an Infinity Stone, it would be the one Tony had.

The Soul Stone.

I needed the Soul Stone for the plot to work, but I needed Tony to have a safety precaution around it too since Thanos was (is?) still alive. I told myself that if someone found out Tony had the Stone and wasn’t supposed to, he would have a way to protect it. So I had to use the solution I gave him: FRIDAY sending the Stone to an unknown planet with one of the Iron Man suits and promptly wiping her databanks of its location so Thanos or anyone else would be unable to find it.

So someone found an Infinity Stone...and it was just...gone. Before I’d figured out how Tony would get it back.

My fellow Admins all know this. I can’t begin to tell you how many discussions I’ve had with them trying to write myself out of this hole. Usually, I’m pretty good at getting characters out of seemingly impossible situations...but I haven’t come up with anything that feels believable, that I feel like justifies the plot I have in mind or really respects the characters and who they are.

Normally I would have just gotten rid of the plot point of the Soul Stone being lost completely...but this isn’t an unfinished chapter in my Google Docs. It already happened. I can’t change it.

I don’t know if you guys have read Mercy by Stephen King or watched the movie, but it makes an excellent point that I strongly agree with:

Annie Wilkes : When I was growing up in Bakersfield, my favourite thing in the whole world was to go to the movies on Saturday afternoons for the Chapter Plays.

Paul Sheldon : [nodding] Cliffhangers.

Annie Wilkes : [shouting] I know that, Mr. Man! They also called them serials. I'm not stupid ya know... Anyway, my favourite was Rocketman, and once it was a no breaks chapter. The bad guy stuck him in a car on a mountain road and knocked him out and welded the door shut and tore out the brakes and started him to his death, and he woke up and tried to steer and tried to get out but the car went off a cliff before he could escape! And it crashed and burned and I was so upset and excited, and the next week, you better believe I was first in line. And they always start with the end of the last week. And there was Rocketman, trying to get out, and here comes the cliff, and just before the car went off the cliff, he jumped free! And all the kids cheered! But I didn't cheer. I stood right up and started shouting. This isn't what happened last week! Have you all got amnesia? They just cheated us! This isn't fair! HE DID'NT GET OUT OF THE COCK - A - DOODIE CAR!

Paul Sheldon : [long pause] They always cheated like that in cl... chapter plays.

I don’t want to cheat you all. As arrogant as it might sound, I think I’m a better writer than that. And you all certainly deserve better than that.

When I went to see Endgame (in full Tony Stark cosplay, might I add), I hoped to find inspiration to continue. And let’s just say that ending killed a part of me and I’m still dealing with nightmares and panic attacks over it. My mom asked me if I wanted an Avengers cake for my 22nd birthday and I burst into tears. I just...I can’t handle it right now.

But I recently got my inspiration back for this plot. I remembered how much I loved my ideas, the little timeline I had laid out for myself. I remembered how much fun it was for Tony and Stephen to interact with their kids, for Thor and Loki to talk to Midgardians. I remembered how much fun it was to use obscure ships. And I want to do it. For those reasons, I want to come back to it. I want to see that plot through to the end of the line, whatever that may be.

So I’ve added some elements, and I’ve decided to go in with firmer rules than I had at the beginning, where I would let anyone tell Tony and Stephen “yeah, so...I’ve been stabbed, ‘sup with you guys lol”.

The catch is...it won’t be on these blogs.

It would mean going through everything on them and pretending it didn’t happen, which hardly seems fair, especially when so many people still like and reblog some of my more popular posts. It doesn’t seem fair to just throw all of that away.

Like I said, I don’t want to cheat you, and doing that feels like cheating to me.

So instead I’m starting over. I’m in the process of setting up new blogs, a new Discord server, and I’m working with my Admins to put these new blogs into place.

The other big twist is...I won’t be advertising them here.

I don’t want you all to think I don’t value and appreciate all your kindness and support.

But I don’t want you all to join those new blogs just because I made a joke on Bucky’s account (in this set of blogs) that you liked. I want you to join because you’re invested, because you enjoy the interactions, because you like my writing for what it is and not just because it’s me typing it. It’s the same reason I have a separate AO3 account I never share.

I feel proud when people come to these blogs and see Tony confronting Steve and find out I was writing both of them, not bouncing off a fellow Admin.

I hope I don’t sound ungrateful. I’m swear not. But I want the new blogs to earn their following just like these did. You all saw something in these blogs, whether it was a joke, some advice; something that meant something to you. Maybe you saw family. Maybe you saw a friend. I don’t know. But I sincerely hope that whatever it was, I earned that follow from you. That I earned those likes and reblogs of my own volition.

All I ask of you is if you want to see where these new blogs will go, if you want to follow them, if you find them, please, don’t spoil what will happen for any newcomers who join the ranks. Certain plotpoints will carry over. I want any new fans to be as invested and surprised as you were.

Maybe one day I’ll tell you where the plot moved if you can’t find it and you want to know the big picture. Maybe you’ll just unfollow me or ignore the fact that I’m working on something else.

But I’m not going to just up and abandon these blogs. For a long time, they meant something to me, and at least to some of you. They’ll stay up, and I’ll answer your asks and engage with you. I can’t speak for the other Admins. But with me, you’ll always have someone to message, even if I take forever. But no more nitty-gritty plot. We’ll say Thanos got tired of holding Quill prisoner and fucked off somewhere. These blogs are now just for lighthearted family fun.

This is a long-winded rant to say that yes, I am still active in some ways, and I’m not in others.

As for OC accounts, they have always been welcome, but they don’t get put on the Masterlist or get OC-centric plots. Just be sure to follow certain rules- like Tony having no biological children.

I’m sorry for the rant.

TL;DR: I’m making new blogs to write this plot as I originally intended, but these will stay up and you can message them (at least mine). Also, OCs are cool and always welcome. ~Admin Chara))

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rosepetalmark · 5 years

Text

Crystal Snow

Pairing: Mark Lee x Reader Word Count: 2065 Warnings: None Synopsis: Late night walks in the cold with your best friend make you reminisce about the past, causing you to realize your potential feelings for him.

“Mark this is literally the dumbest idea you’ve ever had.” You whine, wrapping your arms further around your waist to provide yourself with any amount of warmth you could get.

“It’s beautiful out here babe, embrace the nature and stop complaining.”

“I would if it wasn’t freezing and I was only wearing a light wind breaker. ” Groaning, you quickly make your way to his side to match his pace.

Mark thought it would be a smart idea to drop by your dorm without calling, walk in, and throw the closest jacket he could find before dragging you out the door by the hand.

Little did he know that he threw you the lightest sweater in sight, not even taking into consideration that it’s snowing outside and that you’re most likely going to freeze due to your lack of appropriate winter clothing.

“Here. ” He motions, stopping in the middle of the quiet road to unravel the fluffy maroon scarf clad around his neck, and bringing it around yours. “Now we can enjoy this walk without you complaining about the cold, princess.”

“Aren’t you so thoughtful.” You wrap the scarf around your neck, bringing it up to your ears to bring you as much warmth as you could get. Mark may be a dumbass for dragging you out in the middle of the night in negative below weather, but at least he was thoughtful enough to share his belongings with you so you don’t die of hypothermia.

You make your way further down the road, your memory kicking in and directing you to the oh so familiar place that holds a special place in yours and Mark’s hearts.

The park.

Every Friday night you, Mark, and the dreamies would always meet up by the merry go round, staying out late talking about anything that came across your minds.

Those were the good old days. The one’s when all eight of you were young, and together, and actually had time to think and laugh and breathe without your careers being your number one priority. Now all Nct do is promote and practise, and it’s not as if you’re not happy for their success and hard work, you’d just wish you’d be able to see them more than once or twice every few months.

Taking your hand, Mark guides you to the bench by the frozen pond, your favourite place to sit with him on warm summer nights when you would vent to him about how much being a trainee has taken a toll on you, many nights of you crying on his shoulder because you miss the simple life but want to make your dream become a reality.

You admire the colourful playground, reminiscing about all the times you and Mark, and even his other members, would come here late at night to relax and get away from the crazy lives of being an idol for just a few hours.

The purple monkey bars Hyuck used to hang upside down on for minutes on end, trying to show off how long he could last without getting dizzy, and even the rainbow coloured merry go round, where Jeno and Renjun would get a little too crazy and spin it too many times you couldn’t even remember how often you were close to throwing up.

Fun, simple, and even slightly traumatic those many experiences were for you, but memories you would never take back.

“Remember that time Jaemin almost broke his arm on the swing because Hyuck kept pushing him so fast. ” You chuckle, reliving that memory as if it happened just last week.

Now you can laugh, but three years ago you almost had a heart attack at the thought of your friend nearly injuring himself only a few months before his debut, just because he and his friends were being reckless and stupid.

“Or when Jisung wouldn’t let you get off the seesaw for a good twenty minutes because you made fun of his haircut. ” Pointing to the now scratched up device in the middle of the playground.

“Okay but he looked like an actual mushroom, I just said what everyone was thinking. ” You say, removing yourself from the bench and making your way to the snow dusted swings.

“And besides, all I said was that I wasn’t a fan of his hair because he resembled a gross vegetable, not my fault he couldn’t handle the truth.”

Gently sitting on the swing seat, you push your feet into the softened snow, beginning to lightly move back and forth.

You haven’t been to this park in months, and you couldn’t even remember the last time you were here with Mark. It’s been so long since you two were able to sit down and spend time with one another. You miss the days when your worries were just to get through practise, and get the okay from your managers to leave the building or your dorm and actually spend time with the trainees who weren’t going to be put in your group.

Life was so much simpler when you were all trainees together, working hard yet still having fun whenever you had free time.

With Nct taking off and gaining a lot of success within the past few years, it’s been hard getting to spend time with all of them, especially since they’re either always promoting or preparing for another comeback. But it was worth it, because seeing them dedicate so much time and energy into their work and their fans makes you excited for the day you finally make it big.

Hopefully, because you on the other hand are still a trainee, waiting for the day you and your potential group get approved to debut and live out your dreams. That’s if you end up staying in the group, because your management has been so picky lately, constantly switching around your concepts and members, leaving you to wonder if you’ll even debut at all.

It sucks at times, putting in so much work and energy over the years while you watch so many of your friends and fellow trainees debut before you. But each day you count your blessings and are proud to be where you are, because as Mark always reminds you, patience is key and one day you’ll achieve what you’ve been working so extremely hard for.

Every day that passes is another day closer to debut.

“What’s on your mind bubs?” Mark asks, walking up to the swing next to yours to sit down.

“Just life, and how simple things used to be with us.” Planting your feet firmly in the ground to stop your swinging, turning your body to stare up into his glossy eyes.

It’s dark and extremely cold out, but Mark’s dark brown eyes could warm an entire room up with his innocent stare. A stare that always provides you with happiness and comfort.

Deep down you could only reminisce about the memories you share with Mark as your time with him is so limited due to the fact that you need to keep him out of the public eye whenever you both hangout. If the media were to find out he was even associating with someone who wasn’t in his group, he’d never hear the end of it.

It sucks, but that’s what you signed up for when you became a trainee and became best friends with an idol.

“One day. I know it’s difficult now, especially since we don’t get to see each other often, but I promise you it’ll be worth it. We’re living out our dreams that we worked so damn hard for, and it’s amazing making other people happy by doing what we do.”

“I know. ” You pout, looking off into the sky. “Just sucks that I barely get to see my best friend anymore.”

Just as those words leave you mouth, Mark gets off his swing and stands in front of yours, grabbing your hands. “Even when a million miles away you’re always on my mind and in my heart bubs.”

Moments like these with Mark always brought you so much love and reassurance. The way you both think is the complete opposite of one another, you always worrying and thinking the worst of things, whereas Mark has come to look at situations positively and appreciate everything life brings him. He truly does light up your life.

“Stop getting in your head. it’s only going to make you stress more.”

He’s right, but you can’t help it.

“We should get back now, it’s getting late. ” You say, tugging at his hand so you can start walking you back to your dorm. “I have to be up early for practise tomorrow, and we need to be home before curfew.”

The walk back is quiet, you and Mark taking in your surroundings as the snow begins to heavily pick up, dusting you both with little white crystals all over your bodies.

You pass by the convenience store you’d always buy chocolate from when you weren’t suppossed to, sharing it with Mark only on special occasions, like when you nailed the routine you’d been having difficulty with, or when you found out he’d be debuting.

Grabbing his hand, you bring Mark’s body closer to yours, a routine of yours that you usually do when you go on late night walks. Holding his hand brought you harmony, reminding you that even though he is not always here to spend time with you or be there for you the second you need him, he’s always going to be your best friend no matter the circumstance.

“So we’re actually getting a break soon. ” Mark says, finally breaking the peaceful silence between the two of you.

“Really?”

Nct have barely gotten a break since debut, especially Mark, being in three units for three years must have taken a toll on him. Now with the pretty recent graduation of dream, you know he’ll have less of a workload, but that still doesn’t mean he’s going to stop working while on break. No matter where he is or what he’s doing, Mark never fails to put his group and career first, always writing songs and thinking of lyrics that’ll best suit their comebacks.

“Haha yeah, it’s a short one though, only a month. But it’s better than nothing.”

“That’s amazing holy crap!” You smile, because Mark being on break means that you’ll be able to see him and talk to him and even touch him without worrying about time zones or him being too stressed or tired to communicate.

Hearing the news that you’ll be able to spend some quality time with your best friends really turned your night around, even if you’re very close to getting frostbite and a killer cold that your manager will most likely scold you for.

But you don’t care, because Mark will be here.

“You look cute with snow in your hair,” he says, slowly removing his hand from yours in order to present you to your front steps.

“And you look like you have dandruff. ” You laugh, ruffling his hair, causing a huge grin to form on his soft face.

“I had fun tonight Mark. ” You whisper, wrapping your arms around his waist, pulling him in for a tight hug. Reciprocating your actions, Mark tugs you closer, focusing his big brown eyes onto yours, barely blinking.

His cheeks are pink and splotchy from the cold, and his eyes sparkling so bright underneath the moonlight, causing little twinkles to appear every time he moved in a different direction. God he looks so beautiful.

“Thank you for always being positive and making me feel better, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I’m never going anywhere babe.” He says softly, placing a soft peck to your cheek, a little to close to your mouth, but again you don’t care.

Pulling away, he grabs onto your hand, interlacing your fingers together as he pulls his body closer to the direction he needs to head home in. “I’ll see you soon okay?”

“Mhm. Call me when you get home.”

“Always.” He smiles, finally breaking apart your hands and leaving your door to quickly make his way back to dorm.

It’s cold and windy and snowing like crazy, but the one thing that brings warmth to your life on this cold winter night is Mark Lee, and you couldn’t be more thankful for that.

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