#but either way its SUPER toxic and messed up

[lovecatsys]

nothing about the Josh/Laurie/Kevin love triangle was ever appealing to me tbh. Like I think Laurie should end up going evil and Josh and Kevin should just say "fuck her" and kiss.

[kimbap-r0ll]

What dorm leaders may do when stressed

Uni's kicking me and hopefully won't for the next week haha (may you all be blessed with less work soon)

Riddle

I feel like he would be under pressure 24/7 he thinks it's weird when he doesn't feel any :/ (it's giving toxic)

Academics never really stressed him out while at NRC but if there was something it would be his duties as dorm leader. He loves his job sure, but it comes with its own set of work. Add Ace, Deuce, Grim to the list of things he has to keep an eye out for and he really starts to feel tired haha

He will likely have more caffeine than usual, opting for tea over coffee. He also tends to sleep less, saying that while it's better to sleep more, he needs to get things done.

He's a bit more agitated, you can tell he's stressed by seeing the number of students he's had to behead go up. You may also spot Trey talking to him more, maybe sneaking him a sweet treat to help him push through exam week or so haha

If he has an s/o, he wouldn't want them to worry about him so he'll just try his best to hide it. However, if his s/o were to give him something nice during stressful times, he will be extremely grateful (expect him to give them something in return)

Leona

He tries to stop work before it gets stressful and he's surprisingly good at it. Either he gets work done beforehand (very rare) or he just doesn't do it at all (extremely likely).

He gets stressed about other things than academics since he's already pretty good at most subjects. I feel like what stresses him out would be familial things, or at least ones pertaining to his brother and whatnot.

When he's stressed he tends to be a little bit more on edge, a little more snarky. But overall, he'll be sleeping more and less likely to actually fight someone. If a random student is bothering him for example, he'll usually hit the lightly on the shoulder and tell them to stop. In times of stress, he tends to just walk away and hope the student doesn't follow him (doesn't have the energy to bother)

If he has an s/o, he's more clingy. It's a little surprising coming from someone who usually tries to convince his s/o to leave him alone, but when he's stressed he wants more attention. Definitely pulled his s/o to a nap more than once

Azul

He's like Riddle, he thinks it's weird when he's not under pressure and will constantly look for ways to get himself stressed :/

He gains most of his stress from his physical appearance, mainly because of his childhood. However, he also gets stressed from wanting to maintain a perfect image. He wants to get good at every class, wants to be a good businessman for the school lounge, etc.

He's a coffee addict, but this will only grow when he's stressed out. Will he consume more than four cups of coffee? Yes. Is he ok? No. He also is a bit more snappy when he's stressed, but you won't see him lash out or snap, more like a snarky comment here and there. Jade and Floyd will likely not mess around with him when he's stressed since they can't get a usually-flustered Azul out of him.

If he has an s/o, he will also be super clingy. It's not that surprising since he loves attention, but his s/o might have trouble studying themselves having to take care of Azul. The two of them should probably set up study dates instead if he wants to be around them 24/7.

Kalim

Probably has the healthiest work-life balance ever. He is rarely stressed out and if anything probably causes more stress to Jamil haha

He gets stressed out when he's dealing with a lot of exams (like most students) but he also gets stressed when he has a crush but has no idea how to approach it. So, he gets stressed out in more emotional, intimate things

You will likely never see this man stressed out, but if you do, you won't really notice it. He's surprisingly good at hiding how much pressure he's going through, but if you look closely you'll see that he's a bit jumpier than usual. He also has a bigger appetite, so expect frequent visits to Sam's shop for some snacks

If he has an s/o, he's also super clingy and wants them to take care of him. If the two of them are in the same class that he's stressed about, then the two of them definitely have all-nighters together. If he has a crush on someone, he will almost avoid them like the plague since he wants to approach them at the right time but has no idea if he can actually find a right timing

Vil

Constantly under pressure but never shows it. He has lived under immense pressure since he was a little kid, so he also thinks having no pressure at all is a little weird (though he wants a good break)

It's his career that stresses him out the most, more than his work at school. Sure, there are times students at Pomefiore put him off, but he's always stressed out about maintaining the perfect image whenever he has to go for a modeling event or when he's trying out for a new role for an upcoming film.

This man will be extremely cold when he's stressed out. He's more ruthless as a dorm leader when he's stressed, likely pointing out mishaps from students here and there without mincing his words. He also tends to distance himself from others since he knows he's not that good with words when he's stressed out and he also doesn't want to use more energy talking to people

If he has an s/o, he will likely distance himself from them for a little bit. He loves them yes, but he doesn't want them to know he's going through a lot and would rather have them not worry about him. If his s/o gives him something nice though, he'll be super grateful about it

Idia

He's not always stressed out but he does get stressed from time to time. He doesn't like taking exams, but the thing that stresses him out the most is having to be around a lot of people for a long time (think school events)

During Halloween he's probably a bit more on edge than usual. Either way, he gets stressed when he wants to make new friends or show that he's not a scary or weird person but he doesn't know if he's doing well conversing with others. To him, he'd rather talk to people online than go through having to make eye-contact or having to meet someone physically

He's just detached when he's stressed, will drink more energy drinks than usual too. He barely sleeps, but he'll pull more all-nighters than usual. Idia also doesn't want his younger brother knowing he's stressed out so he tries to distance himself for a little while. He doesn't have the energy to talk to people that much so he spends more time just on his bed and trying to relax when he can

If he has an s/o, he might distance himself from them but end up getting clingy. He won't downright pull his s/o to a nap like Leona but he will want them to just spend some time with him playing video games to de-stress. He might not tell them at first, but once he and his s/o get closer, then he'll likely just text them at 3am if they want to come over to play some games

Malleus

This man almost seems too perfect because he's just so good at every class, is quite charismatic, and just seems to have his life together. But that's not always the case!

He gets stressed from time to time if homework piles up but he gets more stressed out when he worries someone he cares about doesn't care about him back the same amount that he does. This usually goes the most with an s/o if he has one

When he is stressed out, he tends to distance himself from people similar to some of the other dorm leaders. However, he isn't really harsh with words, he just spends more time alone. He does, however, get angry more easily. Either lightning flashes outside when he gets pushed a little too hard or he just gives whatever is bothering him a mean glare like >:( for a good two minutes before Lilia's like "yo r u good"

If he has an s/o, he's super clingy without knowing it. He may want them to do more study dates at first. He'll sit across from them in the library but as time goes on he's somehow sitting right next to them, one arm around them, and like really close. Having a chill time with someone he cares about reaffirms that he does have people that care for him and it also helps him de-stress a lot.

[genericpuff]

Idk if my addition will matter.

I've been following Hanza since back when they were making my deepest secret, so I've seen the development of the guy upstairs first hand and how hanza writes it. Even back in the concept stages, it was so blatantly clear that it was supposed to be a thriller/cat mouse vibe where Adam (killer) was horrible and not to be rooted for. They've compared him to irl serial killers and how those guys will often use women as shields to hide their true selves from the public and how that's messed up and bad to do.

They've shown Adam as a horrible irredeemable person and honestly there's little to no nuance with how they handle it, but that makes sense because how else can you handle an audience like what they've gotten without beating them over the head with the facts. How many ways can you outright show your main character despising and wanting to yank their best friend out of the jaws of a murderer before the audience realizes its not foreplay.

I think them going from an actual romance to a fully thriller non romantic story meant that the residual audience expected some kind of messy toxic romance, but Rozy to me has always explicitly read as Queer so idk why people aren't getting the hint.

I get their frustration and it seems like they might be shifting into a potiential issekai romance about a grandad and a middle aged woman who got reincarnated as his grandson's fiance (hard to explain but its hilarious if you want to check it out) without any thriller elements from their recent non comic posts. Whatever they do I hope they can find something to be passionate about again.

your addition VERY MUCH MATTERS actually because I don't read TGU and have very little context to the situation as a whole aside from what I've seen people talking about, which makes me reluctant to speak on it because I don't wanna go spreading misinformation in any regard. So I appreciate you taking the time to lay it all out for me, thank you!!! <3

And yeah, I've seen posts shared in the /r/webtoons sub from other blogs claiming that Hanza was being an awful person for "taking people's money" and "baiting them" into reading a dark romance story when that's very obviously not what it is? Even one excerpt that was literally like-

And I just... since when is any romance plotline that ISN'T abusive and problematic at its core (such as between a serial killer and a victim) considered "super conservative" and "pure"? It's really baffling to me how people have gone so far in the opposite direction of "purity culture" that they've started arguing on behalf of legitimately harmful and toxic relationships. It's extremely concerning especially when you know the majority of people saying this shit are between the ages of 16-21. IDK what the fuck we're doing anymore when it comes to the romance genre (and TGU isn't even a romance ffs).

Aaaand yeah in relation to where the Hanza topic came up, that's really why I'm moving away from WT as an audience and why I don't consider it a "loss" to not use WT anymore. Once upon a time I wished for Time Gate to be a contracted series, for it to have thousands of readers and be my job. But seeing what's going on with Hanza's work just informs me that I'd be dealing with a lot of the same shit - people expecting Uzuki and Mitsuhiro to be the endgame of the romance when they're literally NOT good for each other, which is the POINT. Like sure, unlike the main duo in TGU, they actually are a couple with a 'relationship' but it's not meant to be healthy and the last thing I need are 15 year olds thinking they're "couple goals". If you ship them in fanfic or w/e the fuck that's fine but please don't get mad at me when they don't wind up being the endgame couple, they're both terrible people and make each other worse when they're around each other (・_・;)

Either way yeah, I don't blame Hanza in the slightest for getting so frustrated with it all that they'd rather just be done with it. It sucks for the more loyal and sane part of their audience that the series is gonna be ripped out from under them like that, but at the end of the day if the creator is being harassed and decide they're done as a result of it... why should they have to keep putting up with bullshit just for a comic? I don't even blame Rachel if she was ending LO by choice due to the noise of the fandom, and unlike Rachel, I don't have anything in the slightest against Hanza or their work LOL But I also don't have the full picture on it all so maybe my opinion will change if I find out more about it. I just don't think any of this shit is worth directly harassing a human being over.

That said, can't get any better than someone who's read their work since before TGU, so again, thank you !

[hysteriaww]

would kai have saved bonnie if damon left her ?

The simple answer imo is yes - the complicated answer would be his *reasons* for saving her.

I feel like if Kai saved Bonnie in 6x22, it would be VERY different from when he saved her in 6x13 on her bday. In 6x13, saving Bonnie was a huge sacrifice Kai made bc of his newfound guilt and other growing feelings about her. But if Kai saved her in 6x22, that man would do it out of SPITE lmfao. Like sure, maybe a *tiny* fragment of leftover post-merge Kai would save her bc he believed she deserved better, but at the mental state that he was in by 6x22, i think a larger part of him would actually be looking to save her out of this petty urge to make bonnie suffer, bc dying would be too easy for her according to his thought process 💀

In canon, remember how Kai got annoyed by damon seemingly deciding to let bonnie die and choosing elena over her super quickly? He complains, saying smthg like "This decision was supposed to torture him," bc he wanted damon to agonize over the bonnie vs elena choice for a long time. Similarly, i think bonnie dying just like that would eliminate a lot of the angst, pain and tension of the situation, so Kai would save her life *just* so bonnie and damon would be forced to live with the uncomfortable reality of damon choosing elena over her and deal with the emotional fallout of that instead of pretending they have the world's best friendship, as they'd been doing for all of S6 (bc Kai would enjoy watching that mess).

Ofc, that would probably result in Bonnie aiming a lot of her resentment towards Kai for forcing her to face those hard truths, but maybe, after an initial explosion (and a lil nudging from Kai), she might realize that targeting kai is just shooting the messenger rather than addressing the root problem (her toxic friends). If it hadn't been kai, then somebody else would've made bonnie see the truth but either way, that's something she needed to see.

Realistically, even after this realization, i don't think bonnie would've suddenly warmed up to kai, but i think it might've pushed her to ditch damon instead of sticking around Mystic Falls to help him all the time (which would've consequently made Kai suddenly lose interest in Mystic Falls too xD). If Damon then chose to seek her out to beg her (read: force her) to defeat the town's new villains-of-the-week, or if he found her w his humanity off and tried to kill her to get elena back, i think kai might've surprised them all by appearing out of nowhere to get damon off bonnie's case (bc kai being kai was prob keeping tabs on bonnie's whereabouts as soon as she skipped town).

And maybe Kai's sudden appearance would've led to a bonkai confrontation with Kai realizing he may have saved her out of spite in 6x22, but there is no explanation for why he saved her from damon this time besides.. *wanting* bonnie to get her life away from her friends. And maybe that would've also led him to unsubtly point out that an elena-free existence had actually made bonnie's life better, thanks to kai.

Bon would probably kick his ass halfway across the world after a comment like that but i think it would stick with her, making its way under her skin as it sinks in that the horrific thing Kai did really did end up working out for her in the long run. Bc as we know, even at his lowest, there was always some part of Kai that begrudgingly wanted bonnie's attention and validation and rly resented her friends getting that from her while walking all over her. It would take a long time, but slowly and surely, i think Bonnie's intuition would eventually pick up on that tiny part of Kai that saved her life to show her that she deserved better. It would be very uncomfortable for her to realize that Big Bad Kai could no longer be an easy scapegoat for all her problems, but that might be just what she needs to finally see Kai as a person, rather than a monster. And from there? Well, looots of opportunities and potential would open up from there 😏

[rontra]

I have never played persona so I wasn't sure if I would understand your failteacher comics but I just looked up the characters for a little bit of context and I'm 👀👀👀👀 at it now xD

Without being too spoiler-y, why would you say they'd have a messy relationship? (Besides the fact of Becky taking advantage of her client's loneliness)

HAHAHA yea i think the like dramatic irony enjoyment of knowing (even just roughly) what's going on with becky is very strong so good on you there (obviously toriumi has no idea what's going on with her and becky is doing her best to Handle It, but it contextualizes her behavior for Us...<3)

it's yummy isnt it... its yummy

anyway, the rest of this very long post is just me analyzing a fictional situation i myself engineered, so if that sounds boring please dont click the Read More LMFAO <- cursed to put a lot of thought into Character Stuff

basically they have great potential for mess, which they're Currently keeping a lid on, but would exponentially increase with time. teehee.

as for what WILL happen, im not spoiling anything concrete of course… (winks at the Knowers who already know my Vision….

well, this AU isn't ever going to devolve into a "super destructive toxic nightmare" mess or anything, just to get our working definitions of 'mess' sorted out at the top of the post. not this time. atm (as of comic #3) it's shaping up more like a "this seems . inadvisable and absolutely Don't Try This At Home, but i guess it won't…kill you" mess (LMAO)

to assess their situation at present… there is one half who wants money (and can't ever make enough of it to satisfy her extortionists), and one half who wants intimacy (and is scared and unable to get it on her own). on its exterior face, it's simply a lonely person hiring a professional to keep them company, which is a fairly common thing n not rly super noteworthy; the parentheticals are what make things a bit uh thorny for these characters

the "problem" here is not the transaction itself; they're both willing to supply their half of the trade just fine, and neither party is doing anything wrong by engaging in it. but for these two specifically, there is also a mutual willingness to bend the rules of their transaction—because they're both cornered in some way, and desperate for what the other one is offering to trade

to elaborate on "rules", i mean, first and foremost, that their relationship is not "real"—these people Don't know each other personally and intimately, and they're Not Supposed To. their relationship should never be "real"; they're not friends! (or lovers, for that matter!) they're in a conditional exchange of money for services. right now, these characters are participating in and maintaining a kayfabe; they should operate under a tacit understanding that A) this is not real, B) they both fully know it's not real, and C) following the script is the comfortable way to get what they both want without causing undue risk to either party. creating and then maintaining a fake "reality" together is regulated by a contract between them, and it ends when their booked time ends (and not a minute over time!)

but to return to the earlier point, they're also both cornered and desperate, which drives them both to go beyond what might be considered appropriate. i think this is compelling; it's probably unnecessary of me to add this paragraph but i want to underline (just in case) that i don't think either of them is like "at fault" or w/e (there is no "villain" between them). they're showing Signs Of Mess that could snowball into something much more messy, but it's not something they're doing to hurt each other; they're making decisions based on skewed risk/reward estimations that might not be healthy, and could realistically have harmful consequences for both parties, but they're not, like, Evil (lol). two women getting wrapped up in each other's personal graveyard spirals…it's yuri, isn't it?

with that squared away, and putting it plainly;

toriumi should not be asking her to "break character" when the character itself is what she's paying for; this nudging of their little kayfabe, if indulged, could easily snowball and erode the professional boundaries between them (what she calls "distance" in #3). she is paying 'becky' to 'be here' (paying kawakami to conjure 'becky' into existence by pretending to be her), but she isn't really being mindful of the type of role that this necessarily demands of her in turn. the built-in emotional walls between them are there to protect both of them, but she doesn't fully respect them (despite instinctively sensing their protection in how "safe" becky feels to her). in the end, toriumi is bad at "staying in character" herself, and she can't help but try to root out the actual person behind the mask—despite the fact that no one wants this erosion to happen! possible dire consequences for her wallet aside, losing sight of the line between "transaction" and "investment" (pardon the pun) is a one-way ticket to a very messy place where one or both of them is likely to get hurt...

on the other end, and not helping the situation at all, kawakami identified toriumi as a soft target pretty much immediately, and is actively trying to elicit sympathy and endear herself to her (she is being quite choosy about what vulnerabilities she "lets slip" in #2) in order to make her keep booking and paying. of course some amount of "salesmanship" is part of the job—#grindset always be plugging smash that like button comment n subscribe—but the major difference here is that she's overtly attempting to foster in her client the exact kind of dependency/personal attachment she should be discouraging (for, frankly, both of their safety). like not only is she out fishing to get toriumi hook line and sinker on purpose, but it's also alarmingly reckless behavior on kawakami's part; there's a lack of regard for her own wellbeing involved here on top of it all. again, a messy place where someone, maybe everyone, gets hurt in the end

crucially though, as comic #3 finishes setting up, they're both willing to endure these shenanigans from the other half. at this stage, toriumi does realize that kawakami has her unilaterally wrapped around her finger, and nonetheless agrees that she'll call her again; while kawakami knows very well how this kayfabe is supposed to work, but is indulgent (even rewarding) towards toriumi for her clumsiness. that mutual willingness to keep playing this game would—if the AU continued on these tracks uninterrupted—probably compound until the situation they've made becomes super confusing and unclear for them emotionally...

of course "taking advantage" is sort of a loaded phrase colloquially… but i would say in many ways they are "taking advantage" of each other, yea. the "we both benefit, so it's okay" logic was already vaguely raised as justification in #3; if elaborated a bit with the above in mind, their situation is one where "even if they're both overstepping what is considered appropriate for their arrangement, they've also both decided the benefits outweigh the costs by a wide enough margin to make it worthwhile"

it's got the marks of a sort of symbiotic relationship... their individual motivations for being involved w each other are totally unrelated (cue the "hold on, does. kawakami even like women???" question), but they both feel they benefit enough towards their priority goals to be OK with the other one taking something "less valuable" from them (toriumi even calls out the “sales pitch” becky is doing in #2, but ultimately decides that’s fine because she’s willing to buy). i think each and every moving part here has great capacity to go "too far" and ruin things (perhaps even causing Severe damage in the collapse), but if the situation were to continue in this same rhythm, without that kind of dramatic change, i would say "they're both evaluating the scenario with their own personal goals in mind, and are extracting what they want from one another relatively(?) peacefully(??)". like it might ultimately be a selfish game but they're adults they'll figure it out probably idk its none of my business what they choose to get up to. wouldn't get into that type of shit myself though LOL

women are playing kind of dangerous games with each other but i forgive them because it's interesting to rotate in my mind...<3

another thorn to consider for their future bonding endeavors from here on ofc is that without being "cornered" the way they are, they would not be running this type of "risk math" in the first place. it's hard for either of them to fully back away at this point because they're already cornered in their personal lives; toriumi is incredibly isolated and lonely with a pretty insecure lifestyle even when she's NOT actively sawing through the branch she's sitting on, and kawakami famously MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE, NEEDS A LOT OF MONEY RIGHT NOW because she's being extorted by an unrelated third party. looking ahead it does kind of start to look like an ouroboros of "taking advantage of each other" bc it's hard for both of them to leave their individual situations; it's kind of like, if they weren't here with each other they'd be ... well, they'd be here—just with someone else...

they didn't put each other in this jam—it was unrelated personal circumstances and sheer coincidence that pushed them together—but now that they've committed to each other, it's hard to reverse back out, if that makes sense. i think that kind of thing is interesting too, because it makes me want to see them recognize this, connect, and help each other pull out of their Greater individual personal messes. you know? we can make it if we try... just the two of us... 😔

(unfortunately step 1 of that is ofc to make a genuine personal bond that isn't wrapped up in all this for-pay roleplay stuff. drat!)

tl;dr they're both simmering under high pressure and don't try this at home, but they do already have a sort of tacit agreement forming that this level of messy play is OK between them—as long as the rewards continue to outweigh the risks. at the end of the day, it's a delicate balance ultimately hinging on a money-for-services transaction, so if either of them stopped feeling like paying their half was worth it, it would rapidly come apart. i guess it's kinda like the ways you can tell if animals are genuinely beefing or just playing rough—are they willingly coming back? 💀 ...

no lmao where's that post thats like "this would be terrible if it was anyone else, but considering the people involved this is actually the best option" HRBHJDJG that's kind of how it feels. like if they're gonna be stuck with Somebody (and they would be), its probably good luck that they got Each Other. at least the narrative can sustain the balance of this one and maybe even solve it down the line. heart

to round this post off i would say if i had to nominate one of them, kawakami is probably the most "in control" atm—since she figured out very quickly that she was dealing with an easy mark and moved in to make her a regular customer (quite successfully i might add per the end of #3 lmaoo). i think that's been kinda fun, since in her SLink she's immediately on the back foot due to being unmasked by the inciting incident. we know she will lie and attempt to play to the listener's sympathy, so unleashing her with her Mask Still On has been fun 😭 for her part, toriumi is not only taken with the funny maid (& emotionally invested in her IRL situation to boot), but also very clumsily trying to obtain something she's scared to have, which makes her very impulsive/erratic in her rulebreaking compared to kawakami's much more intentional plays...

play of the game 🧹 (<- there's no maid emoji idk its housekeeping)

of course, my future plans will immediately jostle this entire dynamic into something else and make this whole post obsolete, but i don't wanna lay that out ahead of time. smiles.

anyway, otome dissection on the playlist or whatever

[genderkoolaid]

i relate to the "anti-trans man lesbian" anon about his insecurities about his masculinity. but we go about it differently (unless i'm misinterpreting lol, my reading comprehension can suck sometimes.)

like for a while now there's been a trend of parents giving their daughters traditionally masculine names. i know a few girls named carson, for example, and i heard of girls named grayson. because of that trend, it has gotten people to talk to me about "being a girl named mason", which is super dysphoria enducing. there are a lot of cis girls who also pass as a guy better than me, without even trying to be gnc either!

so these "problems" can really mess me up. sometimes i wish that there was a thick line between cis girls and transgender men, and that there was a way to easily tell/enforce that line.

obviously that is a recipe for disaster.

the only "solution" to the "problems" is to supress gender non-conformity/force hyper feminity in "girls" and to restrict what names a parent can give to their child. that is not good for trans people, obviously. it is not worth it for my theoretical comfort.

and my masculinity is very fragile, as a result of cis women sucking and only calling me "they", and fellow irl transmascs/nonbinary people trying to force fem me(not detrans, but saying i'd look better/queer-er if i wore a skirt and grew my hair out, for example), so i do take up toxic masculinity to distance myself from those groups of people sometimes.

i can recognize that my discomfort for girls with masculine names, and girls who "pass" better than me is just a me problem that i need to sort out myself. (and probably with therapy too, some of it is probably from a personality disorder of some sort, lol. i experience the same amount of anger towards someone who has the same hoodie or backpack as me and towards a cis girl who has a similar "boy" haircut)

either way, fragile masculinity sucks, but it is no one's problem but yours to deal with. a trans men who calls himself a lesbian is not responsible for transphobia being directed at you, just like a girl named carson isn't responsible for mine.

a solution that involves policing the language and gender expression of someone is never worth it.

i hope this makes sense? and i hope i didn't grossly misunderstand lol. and that i phrased everything correctly.

Yeah!!!! this!!!!!!!! this is how you cope with this kind of issue. its entirely understandable why you feel this way, but you are aware that it is ultimately something you need to deal with yourself and not try to shape other people's identities (in this case, names) in hopes that it will fix the transphobia you are experiencing.

[thefirstknife]

Oh, no, I totally agree the devs and such aren't bringing this terrible behavior on themselves! It's just that it looks like (and I base this off things I've seen elsewhere, not just D2) the decisions by higher ups to push certain things (so much vital lore and story elements gone as soon as the seasons are over unless you do homework outside the game--props on them lasting the whole expansion now though), forcing you to buy more silver than needed so you're tempted to keep buying more to use the leftover but you keep having leftover, etc. help foster an environment where toxicity runs rampant. The players who want to be toxic thrive in these spaces because they can so easily co-opt valid criticisms of the game, company, and industry to spread toxicity and already frustrated and upset players are more likely to fall for it not realizing its unreasonable toxic nonsense. It is NOT the fault of the devs getting harassed, the fault lies higher up the chain and with the prevelance of these style choices in the industry as a whole. But a lot of the industry and structure of social media not only facilitates this sort of toxic behavior but encourages it so it shouldn't come as a surprise when it happens, is more what I mean. (That doesn't mean we shouldn't speak out against it just because it's the logical outcome of a mess of factors--it's still wrong and hurtful even if it makes sense that things are going this way). I feel like realizing that the industry and people higher up at companies create the conditions for this bad behavior to thrive is really important in order to work against it effectively

Oh yeah, for sure. The whole industry situation and the higher ups that make all of this happen in the first place is certainly a catalyst to an extent. I definitely wish more people would realise that. I think a lot of people operate under the notion that game developers are spiteful or evil and that they deliberately "ruin games" and that they deliberately don't listen to players, stuff like that. Then completely misleading and hateful comments from "pillars of community" stoke the fire and then everything gets put into the same blender and turns into what we have now.

The harassment at this point is definitely, unfortunately, expected. It's really awful that we had to get here and that most devs kinda have to accept that they will be harassed. Bungie has always also been a very community-oriented company that was super communicative and responsive. This is really good, but unfortunately it makes gamers feel entitled. You know, Bungie listens to us a lot, but not every time, so when they don't listen, clearly they're being spiteful. Basically giving gamers a finger and then they want a hand. And at one point it becomes impossible to satisfy everyone's wishes and then people get angry.

The recent Bungie win in court might help in the future though, now that there's precedent for companies being incentivised to protect their employees better. Other than that, there will have to be massive changes to every system in the world. Until then, hopefully better education and pushback against the assholes might help against this sort of thing. And if that fails, at least there's legal action and punishment available. Either way, gamers really need to learn to just disengage if things bother them too much. There's other things to do.

[miceysfandomcreations]

After drawing straight through a dnd campaign session! I’ve finally finished! Happy early Lunar New Year @itoshisoup!

What do you get when you cross a Hell Fic alternate universe with a tragic ending, a Touya with bad coping mechanism, and a multiverse-hopping quirk? HTTM DTTS: HELLVERSE!

Ok, so, I finally read Hell fic which is really good! I’ve been keeping up with the blog for a while, so I was a witness to the 2022 descent into Dabi Hell along with the bajillion Hell fic aus that popped up. Earlier this month, I hit my mha phase, read Hell fic, and understood what the hype was about. I kept thinking of those aus and how they were perfect for a spiderverse-style crossover epic. So fueled by writer’s block for a completely different project, I made a mockup poster of the concept!

general art notes:

this was hard. Dabi’s anime hair is stupid hard to draw. The flame effects covered so much. I’m glad I didn’t do shading. Also, super proud of myself for figuring out a way to draw anime hair! I took inspiration from an across the spider verse poster with all the characters facing the camera head on. Because I had less characters, with designs similar to each other, I had to modify the poses to give some more character. Not sure how well I did on that. The white shape in the center represents MC, and I wanted it to look like the shape’s been erased from the canvas, cutting through all the Touyas.

the touyas (top of left column to top of right column, like a horseshoe), individual art notes, and story notes:

Normal fic!Touya. From default/default adjacent Hell fic universe. Don’t have much variation to go with, so he’s a ‘normal’ Dabi. Not much to say here. I think I drew him last? Was weirdly hard to finish.

jjk curse au!Touya. None of the other Touyas know what the fuck he’s talking about. What do you mean curses? What do you mean you’re dead? In universe, he and MC are HS second years/16-ish, so I made his eyes bigger, face softer, hair fluffier, tried to make him look youthful. I think you noted that this Touya didn’t look much different than normal, but as you can see, I made him blue. I think it’d be cool if he had fire glowing from beneath his scars. I thought about replacing with burned skin with exposed muscle (also blue), but decided against that for ease of drawing. His uniform’s white, because, y’know, death.

Villain au!Touya. From the au where Touya and MC ran away to become horny villains together and Touya makes a ‘no bitches’ joke to Shigaraki. He gets a matching tungsten ring and a smile! I envision him as the first alternadabi to pop up in Normal’s dimension for some reason. Maybe because he’s the most similar?

Pro-Hero!Touya. Is miffed and yet not surprised that so many of his counterparts are villains. The most well-off financially of the Touyas. The Touyas raid his agency’s fridge at some point. There are so many awesome hero au designs floating in the fandom. I came up the outfit on the fly and it probably needs to be redesigned a few more times before I’m personally happy. Still, it serves its purpose. This Touya gets gold-plated piercings because he’s worth it.

Toxic WLW!Touya. TBH I don’t remember much about this au. Does it take place in the MHA world or is it a mundane au? Either way, this Touya was the first one I had concepts for. I think every Touya is a trash gremlin no matter the gender, and I didn’t want her to lose that aspect. I gave her a new, pushed-back hairstyle because I didn’t want to draw 6 versions of the same hair, and canon Touya looks really cute with his forehead exposed. The nose piercings are replaced with eyebrow rings to take advantage of that.

late 20s!Touya. From that concept you had about an older Touya having a happy ending. This one is stable, happily married, and is a good parent. The others totally aren’t jealous at all! Why hasn’t the rogue Touya who started this mess try to take over his life? Uh…something something this reality too unfamiliar to him…too used to destruction and dying young…can’t fathom having a life like this where he builds instead of destroys…would rather tear open the multiverse than face the prospect of internal change. This Touya is more often than not the holder of the sole braincell and is trying to wrangle his younger selves in more positive directions. Assigned Responsible Adult (tm) despite not hitting 30. Wears sweats the entire time.

- I see late 20s!Touya as entering the story in 2 ways. Doing laundry and getting sucked into a portal waiting for the washer to finish (1). Seeing his alternaselves in the distance, calling his MC, and being like ‘I’m gonna need to leave for a week I have to stop myself from doing something stupid’ and following after (2).

misc notes:

I thought about doing a version of this for MC, or Shouto, but I never had a solidified design for MC, and Dabi was the funner brother to come up with concepts for.

The Touyas without the flames:

[discet]

Outside of AWIW, what are your thoughts on the various trio ships?

So, based on Canon? Alright sure!

Marcanne: The original, Marcanne art is what absolutely brought me into this fandom to begin with. I love soft dynamics in my ships and this is just the softest. Marcy’s betrayal of Anne’s trust really gives it some juicy drama to chew on without spoiling the ship for me. Always have a special place in my heart. Their mutual insecurities towards each other that they then support each other through. I won’t belabor the point since I have explored this ship alot in my writing, but needless to say it has a special place in my heart. Oh also probably the only ship that I like pre-Amphibia though I think it’s probably healthier post Amphibia. 

Sashanne: Not a huge fan at first but I’ve come around on it. With the hindsight of Sasha’s cannonic bisexuality and redemption arc it paints her actions in a much different light. I really like when this ship finds its footing in 3b or post canon. Their dynamic as equals is really compelling and fun. Pre redemption its just too toxic for me to really enjoy. Though more so than the other two ships does it bother me when Marcy’s presence isn’t taken into account. (Though this is probably more tied to my salt in Marcy being sidelined in season 3 in general.)

Sasharcy: This one is interesting because it’s really open to interpretation. Sadly these two don’t get a lot of chances to interact in canon, so you can kind of read them in a lot of different ways. Personally I like the approach of Marcy being Sasha’s more willing partner in crime pre-amphibia. I think this ship really shines either in AU’s where they get more chances to interact or in post canon. I’ve seen and read a lot of adult Sasharcy that was really fun. Very opposite’s attract kind of ship. I think my favorite dynamic I’ve seen in this ship is a reversal with Marcy having a super big crush on Sasha in middle school and then Sasha becoming a gay mess around Marcy once they’re all grown up. 

Sashannarcy: Probably my favorite now that canon is finished. Not one I expected going in but probably my favorite now. They all honestly just are perfect for each other. You get parts of the dynamics from any of the other ships but with fun throuple shenanigans. While there’s a part of me that likes the idea of trio all figuring it out at once and getting together, I think what I really like is when two of them get together and then pull the third in. I prefer the other three ships for in Amphibia ships, I think this is my favorite endgame ship once they work through all their baggage. 

[tleeaves]

back again with homeopathy, first off super glad you're able to empower yourself and find what can be helpful to you! unfortunately right now i've been reminded of something and it's pissing me off so if you're not feeling up to a trauma dump please stop reading here!

basically i just have memories of feeling helpless and not enough and being told 'oh take this' when i really didn't have the spoons to be thinking about my body and if i bruised myself playing sport or had a scratchy throat or whatever and it's just. i've tried. for my birds, for whatever actually matters to me, but sometimes it's just a huge fucking mystery with adults in my life throwing random compounds at whatever and no one teaching it to me in bite sized ways or allowing me to mess up with it even though they did?? and i can't keep going through this with my guinea fowls, i need to find some way to either reclaim it or just leave it the fuck alone i swear it's like a cult and some people (including professionals in the field) get defensive if you ever mention something like antibiotics, i'm a fan of doing whatever works and it's generally going to involve a mix of ideas from different sources

so i can't really leave it the fuck alone and still value indigenous wisdom and still be connected to what's left of my asian roots but i can't be part of this toxic system (which i always forget exists til something outright reminds me of it) full of paranoia and inventing things to feel like were wrong with me as a kid even though i was so healthy then and i am now (and i'm learning to be grateful for it). anyway idk if you find this interesting, i feel like me with this is a bit like you with religion. but you see how some people used something good with amazing potential (holistic healing) to just cause so much hurt and i'm ready. to figure out better. but it has to be baby steps, even just reading books is gonna trigger me so like. i'm at a weird crossroads where i think the path forward is gonna involve a whole lot more gentleness than I've ever seen but perhaps is at the core of any kind of healing with nature and its substances yknow

Sorry that it's taken me so long to answer. What I have might be brief because it's on my phone rather than my laptop (taking a bit of a writing holiday this Christmas), but I think I know what you mean. It's as you said, like me with religion, seeing the cult-like behaviour of some individuals, not really being made to feel welcome in a space, and not having it feel for me the way it does for others.

Homoeopathy and holistic healing I tend to take with a grain of salt. I know of folks personally who refuse a lot of other medical practices and things like antibiotics, preferring everything to be natural. I can understand even that drive, though it's not for me (if I rejected a lot of modern medicine and healthcare, I wouldn't be here to answer your ask right now). If anything, I see herbalism and the ways the knowledge can be used for one's health as supplemental. It's an extra if you need to bolster your health, if your immunity is low, if you have some bodily problem or discomfort that plain old painkillers can't always quite fix. Sometimes it's just a thing I think speeds the recovery process. But it would not be my first nor only answer to everything. And that's where I think you might be coming from. Because there are folks who believe so firmly in it that it's their only answer, but that makes teaching it also difficult.

And then from there, I fully understand that its difficult for you to learn or get into something that has been a source of frustration for so long. I just hope that one day you find your peace with it, in whatever form that comes 💛

[bonesandthebees]

[Tomys huffed. “I thought we’d dropped the formal shit for a minute,] This says a lot about Tommy. Like obviously he doesn’t know why he’s there are that he’s playing a game now. He knows none of the rules. He’s just a kid who wants to have fun and Wilbur’s cursing comment made him feel like this was a nice and chill person to be around. Tomys saw that as a sign to drop the facade only to now realise that apparently he can’t full drop it and treat Wilbur like he would Tobyn (aka insult him without social consequences).

Wilbur, on the other hand, has grown up in this palace Klimate and is aware of the game their life is at all times. Everything he does is a move in the worlds most complicated game of 4D chess and he knows it. He can never forgot about it. He just does as he’s told and tries to do what his father wants him to do, but on occasion he can’t help but fill the board in frustration, which is how he snaps at Tomys.

And it’s interesting because if Tomys was aware of why he was there and that he is a possible heir, Wilbur’s respite would have effect. It would either get Tomys to fall back in line and realise why he’s here or be an effective jab. But Tomys doesn’t know, so all it does is confuse him.

I feel like Wilbur being so open and essentially ‘messing up’ by snapping and bringing up that Tomys needs to win favour will play in his favour in the long run. Tommy might take that as a sign that 1. Wilbur clearly knows what’s going on (or at least knows more than he does), which means that Tommy might take an interest in that when he does start playing the game. And 2, might take that as a sign that Wilbur is honest to him and trustworthy later on (though he’ll probably be too trusting in general).

Paired with this we get Wilbur’s downright predatory mindset about Tomys not knowing to hide his emotions (and the fact that Wilbur does know and probably constantly does, so the silent implication that my man is Repressed). Also, he’s very good at finding implications. Phil is right to praise him, Wilbur is a very fast thinker and he’s quickly putting the pieces together and figuring out that Tommy knows shit before everyone else. He gets a head start.

[He almost felt bad for the kid. / Almost.] I love this bastard. So clearly Phil’s son. He has empathy, he does, but he also knows that feeling bad for Tomys is a weakness that can be exploited. Emotions will get in the way (and the kid did just call him a freak of nature, which he is clearly upset about while everyone close to him makes fun of him for it (and ain’t that toxic)).

Also, I feel like these early chapter’s will be setting up so much info for Tomys to use about Wilbur once he gets to that point of playing the game. Wilbur weaknesses and insecurities shine through so clearly, but Tommy might not yet be picking up on them. (At the same time these things can invoke empathy for Wilbur in Tomys, but more about that in chapter 3).

(3/)

-🎄

yup, tommy is just a kid! he thought that when wilbur played into the cursing bit that meant he could relax, but then wilbur pulls that out and he gets disappointed all over again. he doesn't know how these super formal courts work. while Valbroek had its formalities, as the son of the duke tommy got away with a LOT. in Pandorinne that's not the case anymore, and tommy is already learning that the hard way.

the contrast between wilbur and tommy in these conversations is really fun for me to write because it's like you said, wilbur has grown up in this climate and he gets very frustrated encountering someone who is in the position to possibly inherit the ultimate power in the kingdom, and he doesn't even know the rules of the game. so he snaps, but it doesn't have any effect because tommy just doesn't know.

wilbur is very repressed but also very smart. he does get a head start figuring out that tommy doesn't know jack shit. he wouldn't have figured that out if sam and phil hadn't made him give tommy that tour so, haha, guess dad got the laugh there

I loved writing that line. wilbur is SO phil's son in this. he almost feels bad for tommy, but not quite because that's a weakness that can be exploited. it's useful for him to know, and that's more important than anything else.

[patchdotexe]

what happens in the sonc ass bazooka games. i have never played crash bandicoot. i have two cash banooca cartridges (one for either gba/ds and one for switch) but i have only touched the switch version for five seconds. what happens in the sonic's ass games

absolutely thrilled at the first sentence of this ask. crash does get a bazooka btw i dont remember if ive said that yet

UM OK SO in the first game crash is an experiment by dr cortex to try and make an army of super-furries but the brainwashing fails on him so crash bails and then realizes "oh no i left my girlfriend :(" so he goes All The Way Back to fight cortex and rescue tawna (who then didnt appear in any other games for a very long time)

gameplay-wise, you go through a bunch of levels with different themes (jungle, water, spooky bridge, spooky castle, ancient ruins, toxic waste factory, etc) and break boxes as you go to get gems that unlock optional side paths and a 100% ending. crash can only take 1 hit before he dies but he can collect masks to give himself an extra hit or two and if he gets 3 masks then he becomes invincible for a bit. it sometimes gets described as a sidescroller but Forwards? bc the level design is very straightforward and corridor-ish, but i never found it feeling too restrictive or anything

in the second game cortex is like HEY. CRASH. I KNOW YOU HATE ME BUT UHHHMMMM GET ME 25 CRYSTALS OR THE EARTH IS GONNA BLOW UP :( NOT BC OF ME THO IM GONNA FIX IT I SWEAR and crash goes 👍 and then finds out that actually cortex is lying out his ass and needs the crystals to power his orbital space laser. and then crash blows it up

this is also the game that introduces warp rooms as the level hubs!! bc crash 1 had a Map you'd traverse (which crash 4: it's about time brought back) but a lot of crash games starting with 2 have rooms with portals you go through and i like the crash 2 warp room a Lot because each level entrance is subtly styled based off of what type of level it is! like uhh the ruin levels have an entrance that looks kinda like the statues in it, and each floor of the warp room has a different visual aesthetic that matches the different level themes (snowy, sewer, space, space 2 this time with a jetpack, stream, statue ruins, s... sforest. Man)

the third game is the one i Actually Owned As A Kid and its got TIME TRAVEL !! WAOW cortex and his buddies are messing around in different time periods trying to get the crystals Again so crash and his sister coco have to try and get them first! i like cbc3 a lot, its really fun, also it's the one where crash gets a bazooka. and a motorcycle. and a plane. coco steals a tiger

(it also introduces my FAVORITE VILLAIN GUY, dingodile!! i was very bad at his bossfight as a kid)

HOWEVER the one that ive been mentioning me playing on here is the switch remake of Crash Team Racing, which is. not like any of those. because those are all collect-a-thon platformers. CTR is a kart racing game. with the plot being... what did i tell sion hold on

(i also owned the original as a kid and i was obsessed with it about as much as i was obsessed with crash 3. i was also very terrible at it so its very fun having the remake as an adult and having the nostalgia plus "oh im way better at this now")

uhhh after that it's like. crash gets an evil brother named crunch that barely gets to do anything after he becomes a good guy (he cameos in twinsanity and like. talks in titans ig? he doesn't really contribute to the plot. and gets possessed in mind over mutant.), cortex accidentally pisses off some birds from another dimension that are trying to take over the multiverse so he has to work with crash For Real This Time, cortex makes a bunch of really powerful mutant furries and builds a giant robot to do .. something..? and kidnaps coco and then gets upstaged by his evil-er niece nina (and everybody got redesigns that are very polarizing. im still mad that tiny got changed from a tasmanian tiger / thylacine to a normal tiger), cortex manages to mind control everybody but crash with vr headsets (i guess?? i didnt play those last two) so crash beats him up and the cutscenes have a lot of different art styles which is kinda cool, and then the current developers (bc crash keeps getting tennised around between developers) decided to roll all of that back and made a new timeline branching off of crash 3 where cortex and his time travel buddy n. tropy break time and space and crash needs to collect the quantum masks with power over time and space to fix it (and also tawna is back! except its an alt dimension version of her and shes super cool)

[crash 1 finishing a level voice] WHEW

[wondermentishere]

i am once again completely friendless. this is a cycle ive been thru many times in life, except this time i have no family around either. stepping away from toxic people isnt a regret that i hold. although, i do toy with the idea of going around my family again. i just dont know how im gonna do it without feeling like a complete shell of a human.

i just feel like ive made a series of decisions that has driven me into a hole. and now im trying to clean up the mess of my life and move forward while keeping all of the lessons ive learned close to me.

ive never really had friends as a kid because i never really connected with anyone. im sweet, but i also am kind of a mean person. like i can be messy, shady, judgmental and i find humor in it at times. but i also value integrity and am uncomfortable with not trying to better myself and become a more loving and accepting person. so ive been attracting and accepting friendships with people who reflect the same energy of being nice but also.. just not very kind. and the unkindness inevitably is projected onto me. and my poor boundaries and fear of confrontation has granted permission to people to treat me in a way that i hate. i always end up being super fake to my friends... like ill be cool with them in person, but still have this whole dialogue in my mind about how much i dont like them. dont get me wrong i do speak up for myself, but people never take it well. or they pretend like they do then end up on the same bullshit again.

i accept poor behavior for too long, and allow people to think theyre super close to me. now im stuck with a shitty friend because of my dishonesty and refusal to make room for other people in my life. 2022 i tried to be different. i was in therapy, i went out alot by myself, and honestly befriended alot of people. i had to block a few of them bc they turned out to be toxic, but the rest straight up just moved out of state. its been hard to keep in touch and ive lost interest in partying so here i am... alone again. also learned building friendship off drunkenness/nightlife isnt a good foundation for a genuine connection.

i want to meet new friends from volunteer connections or other artists out doing their thing. im open to meeting sober ppl off apps who genuinely just want a friend too. sometimes i get discouraged thinking whats the point of opening up to anyone, but honestly my trip to austin showed me cool, sober, down to earth ppl are out here with open arms wanting to meet people. starting next week i want to make it a goal to go out to a volunteer meet up to see how the experience is :)

[wtfjd95]

Really bruhh?? Anxiety from chicken and watch out?? i have never heard something weird like this really, to be honest you just took it way seriously and i didn't mean anything but whatever if the case you are just sooo sensitive perhaps you shouldn't take things like this serious and i thought before i open a conversation with you i would Kinda mess with you with a couple of asks but i guess at this rate if even i tried to talk to you you will shout loudly at me lol no jk. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Again i didn't mean anything and i apologize if bothered you somehow. 🥺

N: that wasn't creepy at all but you got it all wrong, I will leave you alone peacefully and have a nice day! ❤️‍🩹

Ok I coulda worded my response better. It was not the chicken thing really that set me off, the anxiety flare up was cause I'm overwhelmed, tired and was creeped the fuck out with the way you said that you've had your eyes on me for a while and used the eyes emoji alongside it. I've been stressed this last week and have barely had a chance to fully decompress. I am sorry for the way I responded and even for the rant I posted after that.

I'm not used to getting anons that aren't either hate filled/creepy/sugar daddies and my go to is usually an annoyed and snappy response.

My social battery has run dry, I apologise. If you were to have reached out via a message, I would've happily responded but also would've explained that my answers would be short and snappy as for lack of a better word, I'm a cranky old person with severe trust issues and have a hard time regulating emotions and making friends (I have had some super toxic friendships when younger and it's took its toll on me).

Again, I'm sorry for the way I reacted initially and you can either believe me when I apologise or not but I am truly sorry.

Edit: I misinterpreted the message and for that, once again, I apologise

[malviral]

Misc thoughts.

Yeah  so  here's  some  things  about  Wesker  that  I  meant  to  get  out  there  anyway  but  went  semi  hiatus  instead:

•   He’s  very  private.  Especially  in  regard  to  personal  matters.  Sex  and  Relationships  in  particular.  I  suppose  this  comes  from  a  few  places:  one  being  a  sense  of  proper  social  etiquette  and  another  being  an  intolerance  for  anything  he  believes  to  be  an  expression  of  venerability.  Wesker  was  raised  in  an  upper  class  family  and  his  “parents”  were  actually  very  strict,  which  can  be  attributed  to  a  lot  of  Wesker’s  behaviours  in  many  ways.  In  accordance  with  the  times  Wesker  was  not  raised  to  really  go  into  sex  or  relationships  publicly  outside  of  very  surface  level  stuff  and  maybe,  depending  on  context,  a  cheeky  comment  or  two  but  this  again  is  heavily  context  /  situation  dependent.

Anything  overly  vulgar  or  suggestive  will  earn  his  ire  if  it’s  not  conducted  in  a  time/place  he  deems  appropriate.  Even  if  he  is  actively  in  a  relationship  with  someone  he  wont  accept  this  kind  of  behaviour  outside  of  the  context and situations  he  thinks  are  right  and  simply  being  alone  with  them  isn’t  always  the  right  context  for  him  either.  He’s  very  prickly  toward  advances  that  he  hasn’t  decided  are  appropriate. He’s  very  firm  on  the  time and the  place  particular  for  his  personal  relationships.  If  he  was  a  woman  he’d  come  across  as  an  old  prude,  however  he's  not  so  this  manages  to  have  an  old  fashioned  charm  to  it.  In  fact  most  probably  think  he's  a  proper  gentleman.

Once  again  though  this  is  context/situation  specific  because  at  the  end  of  the  Day  Wesker  has  a  bunch  of  different  faces  he  wears  and  all  are  specially  tailored  to  the  audience  he’s  presenting  them  to.  Personally,  however,  this  rings  true  particularly  as  I  mentioned  the  “real”  Wesker  has  an  aversion  to  anything  he  believes  shows  vulnerability  ━ being  lovey  or  even  suggestive  particularly  with  an  actual  romantic  partner  is  one  of  these  things  if  not  in  the  right  time  /  right  place.

I  should  also  note  almost  all  of  Wesker’s  relationships  are  kept  private,  if  not  entirely  secret.  This  has  been  a  theme  most  of  Wesker’s  life and the  privacy  of  these  relationships  has  always  been  important  not  just  because  of  personal  conduct  but  for  professional  conduct  as  well.  As  another  note  Wesker’s  first  relationship  was  with  a  woman  much  older  than  him  when  he  was  very  young and  it  probably  messed  him  up   in  a  manner  that  he’s  probably  never  recognised   or  will  recognise  for  many  reasons  most  related  to  “times  were  different”  and “gender  norms”   but  we’re  probably  never  really  gonna  go  into  that.  To  sum  it  all  up  Wesker  suffers  heavily  from  toxic  masculinity  in  a very  multi  faceted  way.

•   On  the  privacy  thing and think  this  is  good  to  note  just  in  general  as  I  know  a  lot  of  people  don’t  realise  what  should  be  OOC  knowledge  about  Wesker  and  what  should  be  IC  knowledge  about  Wesker :  His  spooky  crazy  eyes  are  something  he  almost  never  shows  to  anyone.  I  probably  should  make  a  whole  post  about  how  Wesker  doesn’t  entirely  view  his  super-humanity  as  a  good  thing ? Theres  a  strange  little  part  of  him  that  in  many  ways  finds  it  to  be  ruinous  burden  and  he  DOES  lament  his  loss  of  humanity.  This  is  something  that  could  probably  warrant  its  own  post  at  a  later  date  but  I’ll  detail  a  lot  here  anyway.

His  eyes  in  particular  are  the  most  obvious  and  constant  reminder  of  his  loss  of  humanity.  So  as  a  result  there  is  only  a  few  people  who  have  seen  them  PREVIOUS  to  the  canon  divergence  in  my  main  verse  where  Wesker  was  taken  captive.  Prior  to  this  though  those  shades  rarely  left  his  face  in  a  way  that  suggests  not  even  Wesker  liked  to  see  his  eyes  as  they  were  mutated.  Though  he  pivots  between  excessive  pride  and  vanity  in  his  powers  deep  inside  he  does  feel  a  sense  of...  Contempt  for  them  too,  something  he  generally  projects  outwardly  onto  everyone  else  with  sadistic  delight.

The  power  itself,  is  not  so  bad,  most  of  the  time,  the  eyes  however  tend  to  remind  him  of  his  failures  and  mistakes,  the  things  he  believes  got  him  to  the  point  he  is  at  and  as  I’ve  mentioned  BEFORE  Wesker’s  plans  were  never  to  become  a  super  mutant and  try  to  cause  a  mass  human  extinction,  originally.  Wesker’s  original  plans  were  more:  Steal  Umbrella’s  data  and  bail  with  my  best  buddy  to  build  a  way  better  Umbrella  together  and  die  insanely  rich,  insanely  powerful  men,  to  boil  it  down  to  the  bare  essentials,  anyhow.

SO  BASCIALLY,  prior  to  the  canon  divergence  of  my  main  verse  assume  your  character  as  not  ever  seen  Wesker’s  eyes  if  you’re  not  Chris, Claire,  Jill  and  Sheva.  (also  Alexia)  because  Wesker  is  almost  never  caught  without  his  sunglasses like,  no  joke,  he’ll  take  a  shower  and  the  first  thing  he  does  when  he  steps  out  of  there  is  put  them  straight  back  on  kind  of  thing.

[existentialmagazine]

Review: Maiz shares a stripped-back version of her haunting single ‘Overbearing’, carrying emotion in waves of reverb and agile vocals

Born and raised in a small town with only one red light, the upcoming indie-pop artist Maiz has found themselves devoted to music since only twelve, nor did it take long for Maiz to develop their unique sound and songwriting techniques. Influenced by pop and alternative music, Maiz creates in a way that moulds together the best of both, somewhere between indie-pop, alternative-pop and an array of scattered styles between. Since recently sharing original release ‘Overbearing’, Maiz found her work not just finding its way into the ears of her dearest fans, but a wider audience across the globe.

Since sharing the original version of ‘Overbearing’, Maiz has since found herself yearning to turn the piece a little bit more tender-hearted, allowing her delicate words the centre stage they deserve to be heard and painful all the same. This stripped-back re-release doesn’t hesitate to be raw either, leading in with just resonant piano notes filled with depth and reverberance, setting up a vast and echoey base for Maiz’s haunting vocal performance to cascade over. As her airy words float through an angelic higher range, her words leave you with more of an aching embrace, becoming all the more excruciating when layers of backing vocals place emphasis on certain hurting lines. With a dousing of reverb in her lines too, everything about this recreation of ‘Overbearing’ feels intimate and alone, playing out like Maiz were stood solitary on the stage of an empty arena performing just for you. The original while still super hazy in a dreamscape of sorts is filled with scattered electronic tones, picking up through thudding chorus beats and distorted electronic effects on Maiz’s vocals, still light but much more pop-focused. From catchy to sincere, ‘Overbearing’ is hard to stop listening to either way, showcasing Maiz’s ability as an artist to make such a tender narrative feel both bright and vulnerable in entirely differing approaches.

Maiz delivers an equally powerful narrative through this tentative new approach to the sound, putting her heart-wrenching words front and centre to be heard and addressed, carrying much more of the emotional weight to be beared. As she tells an unfortunately all too relatable lyrical tale, Maiz unpacks a past experience of being diminished by a partner, feeling belittled and shrunk in confidence by their words throughout their relationship. Singing ‘didn’t you wish for me to come around, now that I’m here now you want nothing’, Maiz captures the way toxic partners can often thrive in the chase with love-bombing before switching entirely when they get what they want, a tactic of manipulation. Continuing ‘said I was too much, I let it mess with my head, if I’m too much maybe you should find less’, there’s a definite mix of finding your self-worth on the other side as well as acknowledging the impact of comments made to tear you down, at first allowing them to affect her deep down but soon knowing her value enough to find better. It’s clear much of their attempts to get in her head were successful though, as Maiz asks ‘let me know if I’m overbearing’, fearful that she’s been deemed as too much and paranoid to be perceived that way again. Her further lines continue this insecurity, questioning ‘was I enough for you?’ and ‘was it all me?’ , being made to feel the issue when all she’s ever been was herself. The hook ‘you’re tearing me apart’ slots perfectly between this narrative, knowing she’s reached her limits of being made to feel worthless and unwanted, unable to continue this facade any longer. In many ways ‘Overbearing’ is hard to hear, hard to place yourself in Maiz’s shoes, hard to understand the crippling agony of being ripped apart by someone supposed to give you love and peace, but that immense vehemence of suffering

Check out ‘Overbearing’ for yourself here to let Maiz whisk you away through her heavenly soundscape and underlying fears.

Written by: Tatiana Whybrow

Photo Credits: Unknown

// This coverage was supported and created via Musosoup, #SustainableCurator.