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#but goddamn i’m tired of it
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why is it so hard for me to believe that someone actually cares about me and isn’t always going to replace me at any given moment
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embarrassinglastwords · 6 months
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forever thinking about the way they’re literally obsessed with each other
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stopping myself cause i could just keep adding to this
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why-the-heck-not · 14 days
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Trying to listen to podcast to calm down to sleep -> loud as fuck ad. Trying to check something quick from a youtube tutorial -> first gotta watch 2x 30 second unskippable ads. Trying to go to a website -> 2 popups and an ad video automatically start to play. Trying to listen to the radio while driving -> 7 minutes of uninterrupted ad time. Every single free app with those shitty game ads with the stupid annoying ass king. I’m tired !!! I never wanna buy anything ever again !!!!!!!
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deityofhearts · 21 days
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my paycheck ended up being less than it was supposed to be and after paying my phone bill i don’t have any money left for groceries and other necessities until the next paycheck (so two weeks from now) and idk what else to do other than ebeg for help affording things. Idk how much to even ask for without being absurd
$0/$150
kofi
cashapp
venmo
paypal
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How about Ashley x Emo Fem Reader? Like gothic with uhh emotic? Or something like that. Like they meet when they been in high school. And they live in Y/N's house that she get from her parents when they passed
If you had any questions, ask me
Oooohhhh- okay okay!
Ashley Graves x Emo Fem!Reader
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Social outcast, you generally considered yourself
Not just you, your peers as well had called you that- or…crude variations of it
Point is, no one in school really liked you
You’ve overheard their gossip- all the same shit really
“I bet she lights cats on fire!” “Look at her sleeves, I bet she cuts herself.” “She’s gonna blow up the school I swear”
They couldn’t even bother to be creative with their assumptions about you- a lot of the same depressed demon stuff
….and you are depressed- but that’s besides the point!
You never really connected with any of your peers..
…well- except one..
Lunchtime was quite possibly the worst part of your day. It was a war zone. In the classrooms you had teachers to lessen the blows your classmates would throw at you, both metaphorically and physically, here the only solace of a savior were the underpaid lunch ladies who were occupied handing out food to students.
You hugged the wall as you carefully watched your peers, they all seemed fairly occupied in their own conversations- not even noticing you. You liked it when they forgot your existence. Loneliness beat cruelty.
There was a table you always sat at, tucked into the corner of the lunchroom- and for good reasons. The surface was littered with graffiti of swears, slurs, those cool S’s, and various crude doodles left by your peers. Not only that, but the table was very wobbly, so badly you usually have to use two textbooks to prop it up. The bottom was covered in dried out, chewed gum- the entire thing was just a sitting “DO NOT COME HERE” sign.
And it was perfect!
No one ever sat there due to how shitty it was, you think the students and faculty didn’t even bother to go near it. They either think it’s cursed, or forgot about it. Or both. Maybe both. But today someone had actually got there before you did.
A disgruntled girl with messy black hair poked at the mystery meat on her lunch tray. Poked isn’t the right word- more like viciously stabbed it repeatedly. Her nose scrunched in frustration, likely not directed towards the so-called food, but it was the only thing she had to vent her frustrations on to. She hadn’t noticed you.
You stood there a little awkwardly, not wanting to startle her on accident, so instead you spoke up meekly.
“Uhm…hi.” You smiled a little, trying to harmless. She didn’t look like your average bullies, but you can never be too careful.
She looked up at you with her pink eyes- her gaze was sharp, and you instinctively tensed in preparation for some insult to be thrown. She gave you a once over before returning to her tray, “…hey.”
“Can I…sit here?” It was a dumb question. Technically this table had been your seat, and this girl just showed up out of nowhere- but, oh well.
She gave a frustrated sigh, “God- did Andy put you up to this?” She asked rather accusatory, pointing her fork at you.
You opened your mouth to reply before she interrupted you, “Look how many times do I have to tell you hussies, you’re just wasting your time! He’s not going to fuck you if you’re nice to me so just—“
“Who’s Andy?”
The question you asked sounded genuine….cause it was. Really, you had no idea who this ‘Andy’ guy was. The girl lowered her fork, eyeing you wearily before she decided that you weren’t lying. She turned her head and muttered,
“….you can sit.”
And so you did. The two of you ate in relative silence. Well- you ate. Your new lunch friend more-so stabbed at her food then ate it. You swallowed down the lump of unidentifiable cafeteria meat and gave her a friendly smile. The silence was deafening and you’d never had anyone to eat with so maybe…maybe this could be nice for a change..
“I’m Y/N.” You introduced yourself.
The girl glanced up at you before returning to her tray, “…Ashley..”
“I’ve never seen you at this table much.” your hands patted the surface nervously.
“Normally I sit with my brother and so-called friend,” her words dripped with malice, “But my stupid brother had to go study for some history test! And my ‘friend’ conveniently didn’t save me a seat…” she stuck her fork into the biggest chunk of her food and muttered, “Fucking bitch…”
“That’s a bit harsh..” you mumbled, causing Ashley to perk up and glare at you.
She practically climbed over the table and held her fork out towards you, making your hands instinctively raise in surrender, “She is a bitch! A doe-eyed hussie who thinks she’s soooooo innocent when she sucks just as much as everyone else!”
“I meant it was harsh that she wouldn’t let you sit with her,” your eyes were fixated on the fork, kind of worried Ashley would drive it into your neck, “I…should’ve been more specific. Sorry.”
Ashley’s pink eyes widened a little, she almost seemed- shocked someone took her side. Slowly, she clambered back to her seat and went quiet. You lowered your hands back into your lap and stared at her. Ashley pushed her tray and folded her arms overtop the table.
“….thanks.” She mumbled.
After that, you saw Ashley a lot more
It wasn’t every day, maybe once a week or two she would show up at your hidden table to eat
Slowly, she came out of that shell and actually initiated conversations
Well- conversations were a stretch. It was more like her venting about her frustrating day while you nodded along and ate.
Eventually, she liked you enough to stop you in the halls and walk with you
Usually her brother, Andrew you had come to learn his actual name, walked with her and she made a show to cling on to your arm
It never failed to make the heat rush to your face
Ashley was cute. Very cute. And had a general unhinged vibe that just made her all the more alluring
So it didn’t surprise you that you’d catch feelings for your new friend
No- what surprised you was when Ashley actually liked you back
You paused, silence hanging in the air as Ashley stared at you expectingly. Her foot tapped with impatience as she awaited what you were going to say.
“Well?”
You didn’t know what to say, the only time anyone has asked you out was as a prank. This was different. The question wasn’t coming from some bully barely able to keep their giggles in, this was coming from your friend. Someone you trusted. Someone who wouldn’t hurt you…..at least you think. She did threaten you with a fork.
Ashley’s growing impatience let you know just how slack jawed you were, “Look- if you’re going to be weird about this then just…forget I said anything.” She crossed her arms, turning away from you in a huff.
That was when you came out of your stupor, trying to salvage this, “No! No! It’s okay- really! I’m just….shocked that you asked me out.” You stammered with your explanation, “I didn’t even think you liked girls..”
“Me neither.” She mumbled, the faintest starts of a blush painting her cheeks. It was cute. She was cute.
Your face softened as you placed a hand on her shoulder, “….I’d love to.”
From there you two were dating
Had it only put more unwanted attention on you? Yes, but you wouldn’t have it any other way
You were happy, so fuck what those jerks had to say
Things were good, and after high school the both of you fucked off to another town
With Andrew in college, it’s not like Ashley wanted to stick around her shitty homelife
And you- honestly had no connections aside from your parents, and moving out was expected
So, it was you and Ashley. Outcast for outcast
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Calling it now: The Michael Sheen autism show “The Assembly” is going to be a bigger bomb than the outrageously mediocre Frost/Nixon and I for one am an autist excited to be fed with cringe ragebait the world has not seen since “The Other Sister”
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ratatattouille · 5 months
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I miss when romances had pining and longing and uncertainty and friendship and nuance instead of instalove scenes with two scenes of characters staring across the room from each other in slow motion while dramatic music plays and then kissing maniacally and having sex in the next two seconds
I miss when characterization used to matter in how romances developed instead of making your characters make out as soon and passionately as possible so that a bunch of people could make gifsets of it
romance in stories today feels like how pop love songs are written nowadays, rehashed, impersonal, angsty, remixed, sweetened, surface, self-destructive, toxic, immature, brief, marketable and consumable
emotional manipulation that relies on overwhelm to make you feel something instead of sincerity. it is marked by falseness, thinking that’s what fantasy is, that’s what the escape is, when the true escape in any fantasy is silent, excruciating hope
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seventh-district · 4 months
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OCD will literally remove your brain's ability to register when a task is Complete and then create 10,000 incredibly ridiculous and extremely specific rules for you to follow in every single aspect of your life (to keep you safe, of course, it tells you.) and then tells you that if you don’t do them Correctly and Completely every single time it tells you to (it tells you countless times per day) then the Entire Fucking World Will End and then it’ll do this fucked up thing where it makes you believe that nonsense.
and then people that don’t have it will make silly little jokes about being soooooo OCD and make t-shirts with fun little acronyms on them like Obsessive Coffee Disorder and tell you how much they like it when things are organized and clean, too!!
and then you’re supposed to just. laugh. like you haven’t been robbed of your entire being and potential and been taken over by a mind and life altering disability
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eleooooooo · 1 month
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Trying to sleep with a brain splitting headache and the invasive thought of Orikan accompanying Imotekh to a war meeting or some other political gathering of allied nobles and just seething. But forced to be silent and polite by heka. Good boy not by choice. An invisible leash/shock collar.
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For the THOUSANDTH TIME, no, if you were Tyler you would not have been able to be a martyr, no you would not have been able to say “I won’t kill them, I’d rather die” to Thornhill, no, you could not have been a better person than him. HYDES CANNOT DISOBEY THEIR MASTERS. He HAD to kill the people she told him to kill, he HAD to gain Wednesday’s trust, he HAD TO DO ALL THE THINGS HE DID BECAUSE HE DID NOT HAVE A A CHOICE. HE COULD NOT SAY NO. AND IF YOU WERE A HYDE, NEITHER COULD YOU.
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i hope i die soon
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alwaysneedyforsir · 24 days
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is a hug too much to ask for
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personasintro · 10 months
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Listen I don’t wanna be that type of person that spreads negativity or affects you and your life negatively but it has to be said. You reply sasily to a lot of readers who are doing nothing more than asking simply when you will be able to update the next chapter of mh. It’s been three months since the last updat. I think that’s a good enough reason for readers to ask. And just bcz people ask doesn’t mean you have to be rude thinking you’re doing smth with your sassy replies. And everyone who says its ok mimi needs to stop kissing your ass. As readers we have a right to ask a simple question which causes no one any harm. And you as the writer have the right to take your time off for whatever you need. But there is no reason for you to be acting like that. Grow up and stop thinking you’re some untouchable god.
You see sassy replies, I see bunch of asks with zero empathy. I deleted and blocked the worst ones right away but I get many (way worse) asks like this:
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After being away for days, this type of asks are the last thing any author wants to read. I’m sorry but you’re delusional if you believe the asks I’m getting are just simply asking about updates. It’s way more than that.
Yes, I chose a medium ask that could be considered okay for some, but it is not okay for me. Especially after I’ve been open about my struggles and life. It is not something I have a full control of.
And everyone who keeps being pressuring just needs to chill out and close this app. Read the story after it’s done or don’t at all.
I gotta live my life. So go live yours and grow up 🙂
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kkpwnall · 8 months
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somehow the only thing worse than my current job is applying for other jobs
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soullessjack · 8 months
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something something babyjack something something infantilization that people are strangely okay with whatever my head hurts
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Inktober day 20: Shadow
Thinking about the hc that ALL the alters are protected so you can’t really die at any of them so Ruth and Richie are just,,,, stuck
Also thinking about Pete losing,,,,, both his best friends
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