#but he did so many hurtful things and i can’t forgive him for it

[00kittenz]

── crazy over you. ( pjs ) 🗯️

๑ When jay finds out that his brother tried to make a pass at you, he’s more than furious— and he’s going to make sure that shit never happens again.

pair: possessive bf!jay ㅊ gf!reader | warnings: smut, pwp, angst, mentions of cheating, humiliation, degrading, revenge, jay is so toxic and sooo mean in this, spanking, spitting, facial masks (iykyk), daddy kink, video recording, jay acting like nothing happened after, doing it in his jake’s bed... (yikes), sweet aftermath | words: 2.1k

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

“it’s not what it looked like, jay !” “i promise it was nothing.” you attempt to try and explain yourself but the damage has already been done, knowing the ‘calm’ look he upheld on his features was anything but calm. your boyfriend has always been the jealous type, especially when it comes to you. you were terrified of the outcome, of what he might end up doing. you had no idea what he was gonna do to his brother, but you just prayed to the heaven’s above that nothing bad will happen to him.

jay sat manspread on the off-white leather sofa. staring blankly at your begging shape beneath him. so many thoughts were racing in his head all at once, he wasn’t sure whether to be more angry at you or his brother. what the hell were you even trying to protect him for? why were you so locked in on making sure jake doesn’t get hurt? all this pleading and crying over someone who made sexual advances towards you ? did you like it ? did you enjoy all the attention ?

he feels as though he’s been betrayed, not only by you but his own fucking brother at that. yet he still wants answers from you, he wants to know why you’d let him even say those things to you in the first place. granted they were just text messages but that still didn’t make it right, it was more than obvious that jake was trying to flirt with you. jay saw the messages himself, going through your phone while you were in the shower to see if you were hiding something; he noticed you’ve been acting different lately and wondered if there was anyone else in the picture. he had no idea it’d be jake of all fucking people.

after seeing those messages he’s now convinced that you fucked jake but you’ve already told him multiple times that you didn’t. he refuses to believe you though, he just thinks you’re covering up for him— which only pissed him off even more; and since jake isn’t here yet, why not just take out all his anger on you instead ?

“you’re not understanding, everyone says that cliché shit, y/n.”

“why you so worried about him for ? worry about your damn self.” jay aggressively spat. “you’re just gonna let him talk to you like that and not even tell him to stop once ? did you forget that you have a whole boyfriend ? guess i never really mattered to you after all.” jay put you in your place, making you feel even worse for your actions.

you’ve lost count how many times you’ve profusely apologized to him, on your knees in front of him as you beg for forgiveness. you’d rather take all the fall and have nothing happen to jake, you know it’d get really ugly if they got into a fight and jay can’t afford to get caught up with the police again.

“just punish me jay, please. i don’t want you to hurt jake, it’s not worth it—”

“what do i get out of not doing anything to him ?” “you want me to continue on knowing that he just casually tried to make sexual advances at my girl ? are you fucking stupid ?” he cut you off with even more harsh words. jay wasn’t having any of it, he’s already made up his mind and now he can’t get the horrifying image of you cheating on him with jake out of his mind. it just made his blood boil even more.

“no.. i just don’t want to ruin your relationship with him..” you paused for a second, watching as he grabbed his phone, completely dismissing your presence. “are you even listening ?” you get nothing in return but a camera being flashed in your face unexpectedly.

“pretty.. look a little more guilty though.” he chuckled to himself as he looked at the picture he took, still refusing to answer you.

“jay ! i’m trying to reason with you right now but you won’t even bother to hear me out.” your chest felt like it weighed a ton, heaving out a heavy sigh as you anxiously ran your fingers through your hair.

“go on, i’m listening.” jay finally acknowledges you again, his expressionless demeanor made you unable to read exactly what’s on his mind.

“i’ll do anything.. just, please forgive me.. baby, forgive us.” you try your best to appeal to him, clasping your hands together.

“how many times do i have to get through your head that there is no fucking ‘us’, it’s you and fucking me. stop bringing him up. he’s not even here right now !” jay bitterly spoke at you, it was like he bit every word before he let it bubble out of his mouth.

you could only stay quiet. what other option did you have at this point ?

“you want me to forgive you ? huh ?” it was barely even a second before you reacted, nodding your head eagerly. causing jay to chuckle at the helpless look on your face.

“desperate ‘n sorry, huh baby.. ? you’re the one who’s blatantly in the wrong and now you’re sitting here begging.”

he bent down, holding your chin in his grasp tightly, inching his face closer and closer to yours. “why didn’t you tell him to fuck off ? was it because you were enjoying it ? attention seeking slut.”

again you don’t say anything, even if you said no he’d just laugh in your face anyway, you couldn’t win no matter what you said or did.

“you got no god damn shame do you? do you, doll ?” before you knew it jay’s lips parted against yours, taking in your steady breaths, replacing them with heavier ones. jay put every bit of frustration he had in him into this kiss. the sounds of your lips parting only to meet again echoed around the living room.

he was sloppily devouring you, taking every bit of you that jake so desperately wants but could never have. he’s going to make sure he marks every inch of you, and make sure that you won’t be able to walk for a good week after he’s finished with you.

“fuck, get upstairs.” jay broke your savoring kiss, leaving a string of saliva dripping down your jaw.

“but i—”

“shut up. jake’s room. now,” he followed behind you as you paced up the stairs, smacking your ass on the way up. all that’s on his mind now is fucking you so dumb until you’re completely ruined.

this felt wrong to you, doing intimate activities in someone else’s bed. yet you were so caught into him you didn’t protest nor do a damn thing about it. you knew you’d have to face the consequences, so you’ll just have to suck it up.

๑ ๑ ๑

jay was filming you, watching you through his phone as you jerked yourself back onto his shaft. the sound of your dewy skin slapping together arousing him even more.

“fuck.. so big..” your hand crept up to your boobs, playing with them.

“you can take it, whores like you always can,” he panned his phone around the room before focusing it onto your ass.

“mine. all fucking mine.” jay groaned as he pulled away, spanking your ass before taking his phone to set it up on a pillow. he then proceeds to show the ‘viewers’ a thumbs up with a raise of his eyebrows as if he was just casually doing a livestream.

“hurry, please baby..” you pinched and circled around your needy bud. waiting on jay’s say-so.

“don’t be fucking rude, say hi.” he points to the camera before returning his gaze to you.

you’ve never felt more embarrassed in your life, as you should be, you’re being filmed, even if you gave him consent, your head still hung low. “hi..” you mumbled, even adding a little wave.

your bare skin clung onto jay’s, arms needily hanging onto his body. eyes begging for his touch.

“what do you want ?” jay devilishly smirked, eyeing down at you but you don’t say anything, instead giving him a pleading look that you hoped to be understood.

“gotta use your words, closed mouths don’t get fed sweetie.”

“i want your big cock in me.. please.” you manage to cry out, hoping that he’d find some sympathy within to give you what you want.

“who’s?”

“daddy’s.. i want daddy’s big cock in me..soo bad..!” you whined, unable to bear the mess between your legs, the feel of your warm arousal dripping down your legs made your clit throb for more.

“mmh, that’s my good little slut..” he smacked his lips, tapping your thigh indicating that he wanted you to lay down.

jay dragged you by the waist, positioning you in front of the camera. checking the angles from time to time. when he finally laid eyes on the prize he felt his length tighten. how fucking pretty you looked, your puffy needy pussy. how wet you are for him. he ran his fingers through your folds, taking some of your slick to bless the camera with.

“you think she’d ever get this wet for you ?” he chuckled, licking the sweetness off his fingers before stationing himself between your thighs.

“oh— fuck, squeezin’ me already,” jay gasped at the tight fit. it was like taking your virginity all over again. your messy cunt swallowed him whole. but that didn’t stop him from destroying it did it. no?

he was ramming into you like no tomorrow, producing deep, harsh strokes as if he wanted to leave you permanently bedridden. you were delirious, unable to form a single thought as you continued to get pounded into relentlessly. you could have sworn missionary was supposed to be a ‘romantic’ position. your soft weeping and moaning was accompanied by the squelching of his length repeatedly entering your tight. one of his arms hooked around your leg while the other laced on your stomach, applying pressure onto your abdomen.

“fuckfuckfuck, baby.. ! i’m so full !” your fingers grabbed and groped at the navy blue sheets. throwing your head back at the symphonies jay made with just your body.

“you full?” he chuckled at your stimulated appearance, looking so fucked out already.

“don’t stop, daddy.. ohmygod..” your eyes roll to the back of your head.

oh he most definitely wasn’t gonna stop, no fucking way was he going to stop. you’re not done until HE says you are.

“stupid tight fucking cunt ...” jay hovered over your body, kissing from your chest up to your jaw. “open your mouth.”

you comply, opening your mouth widely with your tongue out, to receive his own saliva, like the thirsty slut you are. wrapping your legs around his waist so you could feel him deeper inside your tight fit.

“good fucking girl..” “you’re daddy’s dirty little toy” “say it.”

“i’m daddy’s..— mm..” your voice was shaking, the sensation of jay’s lower rubbing against your clit was elating. “dirty little toy..!”

“oh god.. ’m gonna come..” you soon reached your climax, bubbling right at it’s tier, before jay could even speak you coated his thickness in a white dripping mess. “fuck..”

jay quickened his pace, edging himself before quickly retreating himself. climbing over your body, pumping and rubbing his length. his voice getting more pungent with each stroke before he came all over your face.

he reached back rubbing your thighs before leaving your frame to grab his phone, filming your current state. pearly strings of white decorating your hair and your beautiful face. the leftover residue of his semen on your lips and the finger you were currently sucking on, cleaning it of his spill.

“did so good for me, princess..” he praised, rubbing your sides gently, earning a tired hum from you.

“jake, you ought to tell me where you got this bed !” he displayed a mischievous smile to the phone that was still recording.

“mama, wanna go pee for me ? put your clothes back on too..” he pampered you, looking at you with loving eyes as if he wasn’t just shouting at you an hour ago.

“okay..” you stretched, giving jay a quick kiss on the cheek before heading into the bathroom.

“oh, jake, i used one of your condoms by the way, tight fit.” jay whispered before kissing the camera and waving goodbye, ending it once and for all.

๑ ๑ ๑

‘lil bro’

pending...

[ attachment sent ! ]

“he’d probably jerk off to this. fucking perv.” the boy scoffed, slipping his legs through the holes of his sweat pants.

[ seen ]

“oh ? haha.” jay giggled to himself as jake opened the message right away, “babe, you almost done ?”

you come out of the bathroom fully clothed, washed your face, and fixed your hair. “mhm, all set now.” you link arms with your boyfriend who now had an innocent look on his face, resembling nothing like what you saw from earlier.

“alright, let’s go, sweetheart.”

(¯∇¯٥) !!

[garagesesh]

HOTD Headcanons

i can hear the bells // p.1 & p.2

gif source

⤷ pairing(s): aegon ii targaryen x reader & cregan stark x reader ⤷ warning(s): mentions of sex, alcohol, general rudeness ⤷ a/n: please forgive me for Aegon 😖 part two with jace and aemond will be up soon…hopefully i acquired a hand injury today soooo… whoops lol

―✧˖° ♛ °˖✧―

★ cregan stark

The betrothal came with Jace after his security of the north and the Stark’s oath. You were to fly in a fortnight to Winterfell and become Lady Stark. You find yourself in tears at night but Baela spends all night with you, making you feel better about your new northern life.

You struggle but understand that you will be alone at your binding to Lord Stark. Your family is at the precipice of war and they need the alliance

The North is cold and sparse but it’s expansive desolation is half the charm. The cold will get taking used to

There is no reception and few words at your arrival other than Lord Stark, Sara Snow, and a half dozen of his men. It’s cordial and quick, as there is war to attend to

On the morning of, Cregan’s half-sister is warm and lovely, braiding your hair in the Targaryen way but dressing you in the Stark. It is foreign but quickly becoming familiar

As you walk towards the weirwood under the swirling, quiet snow, you mourn the absence of your mother and siblings. Your father, who has long since perished within the scarred halls of Harrenhal and Luke whose death still makes you shed tears.

Cregan is handsome, ruggedly so. He’s not the man you envisioned yourself with but he will more than do. You like his frost bitten cheeks and his long brown hair. You like the furs that surround his body that make him seem warm and inviting. He’s also almost a head taller than you, you can’t help the blush that creeps up your cheeks. You hope he chalks it up to the cold.

Cregan did not imagine marrying a Targaryen princess. But he can hardly look at you, for you are far more beautiful than he had imagined

He surprises you with a feast, not with any flowers or the grandeur of the weddings you attended in childhood but there is music, food, and people dancing. You learn quickly that the Northerner's like to have fun and enjoy a good party.

Your and Cregan’s first dance is nothing short of awkward but it’s full of laughter as he spins you around and as you step on his toes. His large hands encases your own as he guides you through the dance floor.

You forget about what’s brewing in the south and relish in the feast, while simultaneously falling in love with your husband

The bedding ceremony comes around and Cregan’s timid at first. He’s unwilling to hurt you. Sweet and kind, Cregan is not rough for now

You think forever could be lovely with him

★ aegon ii targaryen

The two of you have been betrothed since your fifth name day and doomed from the beginning

It isn’t love at first sight, not at all. In fact, he gives you the look of disgust when you first meet at his sixteenth name day tourney. Aegon makes it a point to make fun of your clothing and insults your intellect, of which he is lacking you muse.

There’s not many more meetings between the two of you before the queen suggests you acquire a room at the keep. You’re not thrilled but you cannot refuse.

It’s not until a month has passed since your arrival to the Red Keep that he decides to acknowledge your presence. There are moments in the months leading up to your union that he’s almost sweet, almost affectionate with you. In the ways that he touches your wrist, brings you things you might enjoy, or spends most of his time with you

Over time you start to believe that maybe there is love there. That you and Aegon can come to be companions and lovers. At least you can say that you are falling in love with him

On your wedding day, he takes the white and silver cloak adorned with twin Direwolves and crimson red Weirwood leaves and practically throws it to the side.

His kiss is sloppy, uncouth, and embarrassing. You don’t reciprocate instead choosing to wait out the shameless display.

Aegon gets drunk at the reception.

Far into his bottle of wine, he calls you the wolf whore. The northern barbarian, he whispers in your ear. That’s when you decide you have had enough

You’re sure that if your brother was able to join the festivities away from the castle, he would have killed Aegon

You go to bed alone on your wedding night, tears stain your sheets and serious thoughts of running away plague your mind

It’s almost dawn when there’s a knock at the door and the creak of it’s hinges stirring you from slumber, he’s quiet and tentative something you hadn’t experienced with Aegon. He crawls into the bed, but doesn’t approach your form.

He’s nervous Aegon confesses, stranger to the unknown feeling of love and respect from anyone. That there has been no teaching of what love could be or is. He admits that he could see himself learning with you

[6esiree]

Jokingly Breaking Up With Them (Happy Ending)

Imagine jokingly breaking up with Alastor, Lucifer, Husk, Vox, and Adam? This is sweeter than angstier—erm, at least that’s what I think ❤️‍🩹

Alastor:

When you jokingly told Alastor you wanted to break up, his body stiffened and his ears fell back against his head, shocked. Sure, he was inexperienced when it came to the whole romance thing, but to make him believe that you felt unsatisfied to the point that you’d rather leave him than try to fix whatever went wrong was just…awful, the distant feeling of loss and rejection enveloping his heart in a painfully tight embrace.

“I…what?” Alastor asked, his voice crackling as he slowly turned to look at you, his brows knitted together in confusion. “Am I really that insignificant, that…easily disposable to you?” He continued, “Tell me, dear, what did I do to make you deem our relationship unsalvageable?”

Regret immediately consumed you as you watched the smile he religiously wore threaten to fall, the corners of his mouth twitching downwards. What a stupid thing you’d done—the many long, grueling months of getting to know each other for him to even entertain the idea of dating at all flying out the window. You briskly approached him, reaching up to tenderly cradle his jaw, looking at him apologetically.

“Oh my goodness, Al, I’m so sorry,” You started, his body slumping in relief as you balanced yourself on your toes, softly pecking his cheek. “It was a really shitty joke—I’ll never do it again, okay? I love you.” He told you he loved you back, however, he withheld himself from forgiving you.

Alastor wordlessly allowed you to pepper him in kisses, his arms raveling around you to bring your bodies flush together. He tucked his face into the crook of your neck, his nostrils flaring as he breathed in your comforting scent. A small part of him blamed himself for missing the jesting tone behind your words, but you unintentionally reminded him what it felt like to lose something, or someone—like his mother.

Lucifer:

Oh, Lucifer immediately sunk onto his knees in front of you, a yelp escaping your throat as he clutched your hands in his, a pleading look on his face. For someone who loved to joke around with you a lot, it definitely left you feeling rather stunned that he had somehow missed the unserious tone behind your words. But after his relationship with Lilith ended, he couldn’t handle the thought of losing the love of his life again.

“Wait, what? No, no, you can’t do that,” Lucifer shook his head, bringing your knuckles in for a kiss. Your heart plummeting into your stomach as you saw tears prick at his eyes. “I have no idea what I did wrong, honey, but believe me when I tell you that it wasn’t my intention to hurt you.”

He continued to ramble on about how much he loved you, and that he’d do anything to make up for whatever had prompted you to suddenly want to end the relationship, your guilt growing stronger with every word that shakily seeped past his lips. You snapped out of it when Lucifer started to panic, joining him on the ground and grabbing his face, shutting him up with a kiss. Thankfully, that calmed him down.

“Oh, Luci, I didn’t mean that,” You said after you pulled away, an embarrassed blush creeping up his neck as you ran your thumb across his cheekbone, wiping away his tears. “Shit,” Lucifer cringed. “I’m so sorry, I’ll never joke with you like that again—it wasn’t even funny. I love you.”

Lucifer quickly forgave you, telling you that he loved you too, but not before making you promise to refrain from making jokes regarding your relationship in the future. Of course, you agreed, your arms wrapped around his shoulders as you apologetically peppered his face with kisses, his embarrassment withering away. Deep down, however, he couldn’t help but wonder if your words had held some sort of truth.

Husk:

You wanted to what? Break up with him? Husk chuckled, until he started to wonder if he’d said or done anything to you in one of his drunken stupors—or maybe that was the issue, his heart sinking into his stomach as he looked up at you. Before you, his love life had practically been nonexistent, far too deep into his addictions to provide somebody the proper amount of love and care. But then you came into his life.

“Did I, uh, do sumthin’ to upset you?” Husk asked, trying to appear calm and collected, but his ears betrayed him by falling back against his head. God, he hated his stupid body. “Is it the drinkin’? ‘Cause I drink a little bit less since you and I, ya know, but if that isn’t good enough—“

You blinked, surprised that the wise old bartender hadn’t seen straight through your bullshit. He was so good at reading people, but as you watched him subtly blame himself for whatever it was you wanted to break up over, you realized Husk was secretly afraid about not being good enough for you. You leaned over the counter with a ‘Hey, Husker baby,’ placing a hand over his, your thumb comfortingly running across his knuckles.

“It was a shitty joke, trust me,” You started, a relieved smile playing on your lips as he visibly relaxed, ears perking back up and shoulders slumping. “Oh, and I did notice that you’ve toned down on your drinking since we started dating. I love you—thank you for trying for me, seriously.”

Husk offered you a lopsided smile, turning over his clawed-hand so he could envelop yours. Your heart swelled with love and affection as he brought your knuckles in for an undeserving kiss, his purrs caressing your skin alongside his lips. ‘I’m sorry, I won’t do that again,’ You whispered, but he waved you off, trying to pin his reaction on his insecurities. Typical Husk, but you’d make it up to him after his shift was over.

Vox:

No, you couldn’t leave him, not when you knew what to expect when you started dating the media tycoon. Vox completely brushed over the fact that you weren’t being serious, patting his thigh and inviting you to sit on his lap with a stern ‘Come here,’ believing that you had made such an awful joke because deep down, you were unhappy with how little time he spared you with his hectic work schedule. But that was not the case.

“You know, sweetheart, you don’t have to resort to crappy jokes to tell me that you’re unhappy,” Vox said, his claws affectionately caressing your hipbone, eyes trained on his monitors. “We’re both adults, aren’t we?” He used his other hand to tauntingly boop your nose.

Despite Vox’s nonchalant attitude, you knew he was subtly blaming himself, but the truth was that you had a poor sense of humor—according to him, of course. You slowly nodded your head with a hum, pretending as if he had figured you out. He rolled his eyes, pinching your skin through the fabric of your shirt and eliciting a yelp from you, a toothy grin spreading across his face. You grabbed his screen and made him look at you.

“Hey, I know what you’re doing,” You started, the pad of your finger delicately tracing the edge of his screen, only stopping when you reached his hat. “I’m sorry for making you think that I had an issue with you at all,” You continued, touching his antenna, making him sigh. “I love you.”

Vox was too prideful to admit that you were right, so, he kept his mouth shut, relishing in your apologetic touches instead. You readjusted yourself so you were straddling his lap, a more comfortable position for you to pamper him in love and affection, which he very much needed at the moment. His clawed-hands raked up your sides, secretly relieved that you hadn’t pushed him…nor actually meant what you said.

Adam:

A laugh—that’s what you received in response to jokingly breaking up with Adam. But when you stood there, staring up at him with a serious expression, he awkwardly coughed. As he turned his head to the side, he tried to recount your most recent interactions, desperate to figure out what had prompted you to want to leave him all of a sudden. He started to panic when he came up with nothing but petty little arguments.

“Uhhh, well, are you gonna fucking elaborate or…?” Adam sputtered, turning back to look at you, gesturing wildly with his hands. While he managed to keep himself composed, he felt absolutely awful in the inside. “Come on, babe, I can’t read your mind.”

You dropped your facade as soon as he started to rapidly blink, guilt immediately enveloping your heart at the thought of him tearing up. Yeah, Adam could be an asshole, but he was still your partner. ‘Oh, fuck,’ You said, reaching for his hands and bringing him in for an embrace. He jumped, confused, but he didn’t push you away. You buried your face in his chest, your arms wrapped firmly around his plush waist.

“I’m so sorry, baby, it was a shitty joke,” You admitted, a ‘What!?’ seeping past his lips. Adam grabbed your face and made you look up at him, squeezing your cheeks. “I love you, I was just trying to get back at you—“ He cut you off with a scoff, making you flush in embarrassment.

Adam was upset with you, yes, but he was also relieved, leaning down to capture your lips in a searing kiss. Your eyes fluttered shut, feeling a gust of wind caress you as he unfurled his wings and wrapped them around you, keeping your bodies flush together. ‘Never fucking do that again,’ He said after he pulled away. You nodded, smiling apologetically at him. He truly believed he wouldn’t be able to handle losing another partner.

Taglist:

@cosmiiwrites @pumppkinlynn @spookieroz @gxstiess @polyo-nym-y @vvzhyxx @shinynewboots @freakyfrye @leonotlara @angelicribbons

[azulsluver]

Ur bully au is so good I could slurp it up but it got me wondering

How would all the students react to the reader just. trying to kill themselves because of the endless torment? would they keep harassing? would they say something about it? or would they tone it down? I must know because If I was in that situation i know damn well unaliving myself would be the first option

There’s more than one asking but ima just get this over with

tw. yandere, attempted suicide, suicide, cutting, bully!characters, mentioned torture, humiliation, blood, slight gore, neglection, fucked up reader (deadass).

Here are some thoughts and reactions bellow!

When asking, what role does this character do in this so called ‘bully!au’? You have to look at a deeper perspective of how each person behaves, what the intention is, and how it’s done.

So when the subject of suicide is involved it can get confusing depending on what caused it. Self worth is hinted in the reader, insecurities are brought and laughed at because it needs to hit a spot. Because YOU have feelings, watching it be stripped by people in far greater power than you, people with money, influence, and within number. Standing up to a bully is difficult, the struggles you go through should’ve been realistic.

When push comes to shove, they’re not all coming for you. If you enjoy the idea of every character ruining your life— that’s fine— but, it’s usually one or three. I think it’s childish, when I first made this AU, some sort of amusement in finding hurt but comfort when writing, they’re not trying to kill you, you know. You just catch their eye, more than they could like. Rejection is one thing, but another is a fair game of a sadistic approach. Whether they verbally or physically abuse you is up to place bets on what kills you.

For NRC years, yes, they constantly nagged and followed you around. But the times they would actively seek you out would be less than you think, the focus on bullying would be isolation. They don’t have to hurt you everyday. Some time for yourself to heal and think over your situation. What would you eat? Would they play nice and ignore you for tonight? Did your look piss off someone from afar? Let them cheat off you! Don’t be such a bore, it’ll all go back to just you and Grim.

If you picked up self harming, it’s noticeable. Hiding it is nearly impossible. They grab and bite at you already so what makes you think hiding was a good idea? It’s nasty and unplanned, miss them? Miss their touch that you havta recreate it? It’s horrible to mention, but caring really depends on who calls you out.

I can say you like it. Or you fucking hate it. You hate, hateee, how they treat you. You crawl on all fours for them to laugh and pat your head, do a dare and lick off from their hand but money is involved.

What did you do, was it simple, messy, perfect headshot if you will. If your need to die was to simply hurt them in any way— it might work. Poor them, they can’t imagine being away from you for too long. Some are more uninterested than the others. Who gives a shit you died? Whoever had the luck of finding you, dead or in the act, serves a purpose of letting you live or die. Cruel as they may be, you tug at a couple of heart strings.

Let’s say it was an attempt:

Sprang into action, either holding you down or taking whatever object you’re using to harm yourself. They’re gonna make sure this doesn’t happen again, you gave them quite the spook. Have fun being watched 24/7, and if they couldn’t, everything will be baby proofed for your safety, isn’t that nice, they care. Thrash all you want, screaming and crying won’t get you anywhere, but they’ll bite their tongue once and a while to prevent this from happening.

Trey, Riddle, Azul, Vil, Jack, Deuce, Sebek,

Oohh…he’s so sorry. Please forgive him, crying on his knees and rubbing his head against your chest. It doesn’t matter if the blood stains his clothes, you nearly died and he feels awful. He promises so many times for harm to look the other way, twisted, yet unavoidable. Trapped in a tight, monitored schedule were his scent and voice is all you’ll ever need. But at least there’s a change of heart, your health is improving and that’s all that matters to him, but speak to him, he wants to hear you.

Silver, Malleus, Kalim

Should he have stopped you, but what good will it do for him? Frozen in the moment, their bodies do the thinking, rational, to prevent you from escaping them. You’re funny, reaaal funny, got good jokes at time. But, he’s not really laughing. A little, but it’s hysterically funny and scary. Because he’s still so rough, even when he apologizes yet calls you stupid, his fingers hurt you more than whatever you had planned, gripping, as if you really died.

Jamil, Ace, Cater, Ruggie, Leona, Idia, Floyd, Epel

Does it hurt? Did you find your ulna? Was the rope too tight? It feels like he’s only here to see the end credits, the finale. The sick fuck is smiling too, gross. Giving up just leaves you with him by your side, pressing it deeper to help you get the job done…just kidding! That was quite a show you put on, this is why he likes you. Being responsible of another’s cause of death isn’t ideal, so he’ll try to watch you as of now.

Lilia, Rook, Jade

From that list alone you can guess who’s to mourn, and who savors what is left. Death is inevitable. Everyone dies one way.

[ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused]

aaron hotchner x jacks nanny/babysitter

she’s got a crazy ex that stalked and threatened her so she moved far away to live a simple, under the radar life and started working for hotch. he knows her situation and does his best to look out for her, maybe she’s like a live in nanny ? neither of them is bold enough to make a move first until her ex finds her and hotch and the team race to save her. ends with love confessions and all the sappy stuff

could be a one shot or a short lil series i’m sure whatever you write will be amazing !

༉‧₊˚. 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐨-𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 || 𝐚𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐞𝐫

— pairing: aaron hotchner x plus size babysitter!reader

— summary: your new life as a live-in nanny was wonderful, and with your dark past behind you, there was nothing that could ruin this. but as they say, what goes around comes around.

— warnings: heavily detailed violence BEWARE, surprisingly light angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, physical hurt/comfort, mutual pining, abusive ex's :[, guns, and a horribly written action/fight scene (forgive me).

— wc: 1965

⋆ a/n: okay this is a heavy fic so beware once more, but aside from that this takes a fully turn! i don't really have anything else to say besides enjoy!

masterlist | AO3

“Backpack? Check. Lunchbox? Check. Shoes are tied? Check.” 

You placed your hands on your hips triumphantly, a proud smile on your face as you examined the little boy. 

Being a live-in nanny came with being organizational and making sure that Jack was ready for school everyday without fail. It wasn’t like Aaron was super strict on you; he understands when you have your days where things are a bit out of place, but honestly it was a personal preference, and totally not because you have a big fat crush on the FBI agent.

You had been very skeptical about your babysitting position at first because of your ex who was absolutely bat shit crazy. It was a situation you had barely escaped from, and it had taken almost everything in you to get where you were now, so you were a little afraid of men in general. But Aaron was kind, and welcoming, and fatherly, someone that you felt safe with.

And then, you fell in love.

It had scared the shit out of you of course, but now it was a feeling that you welcomed with open arms, even if you couldn’t act on it. 

Your phone began to ring as you searched for the car keys, the contact name read ‘Aaron <3’.

“Morning!” You greeted with a smile as you picked up. “Good morning. How are you guys?” The older man asked. “We're doing just fine, as always,” You successfully found the keys. “How are things?” You knew better than to ask how he was, because if you had the kind of job that he did, there was no way you could answer positively. 

“We pretty much have everything we need, so we’ll probably be able to wrap this case up early.” 

“Oh Aaron, that's great!” You cheer happily and make your way back to where Jack was waiting for you. “You ready to go, little man?” Jack looks up at you from his toys. “Is that daddy on the phone?”

“Yeah buddy, you wanna say hi?” 

“Yes!” Jack’s answer was full of excitement, and you can’t help but smile. “As much as I enjoy talking to you, it looks like I’m handing you over.” You swear you could hear Aaron chuckle.

Yeah, this was a life that you could get used to.

Having the house to yourself was weird.

With Jack away at his aunt’s for the weekend, it was strangely quiet due to the emptiness of the child’s presence. You suppose you’re grateful for the break even though taking care of Jack really isn’t as tiring as one might think. 

Despite Aaron rarely being home, he’s managed to raise the boy well when he could, and it’s honestly very admirable. It’s one of the many things that made you fall in love with him. You gaze down into the wine glass at the thought, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

Ugh, why does love make you such a loser?

Your bashful train of thought was stopped by a suspicious thump coming from the back of the house. Your smile dropped and a feeling of anxiety and worry twisted in your gut as you grabbed your phone that was lying on the kitchen counter.

You’re quick to dial Aaron’s number and your fingernail finds itself in your mouth as you chew on it anxiously. It’s an old habit, one that you had picked up back in your old relationship.

“Hello?” Rasped Aaron. 

You knew he had just recently flown in from wherever he was because you could hear the foot traffic of everyone grabbing their luggage from the plane’s storage.

“Hey,” Your greeting was nervous and it was something that Aaron easily picked up on. “What’s wrong? Are you alright?” He asks with a furrowed brow. “Yeah, just um - I’m just hearing some weird things so I just wanted to know when you think you might be getting home.” I miss you.

“Honey what type of weird things?” Before you were able to answer, there was a loud crashing sound. You instantly dropped to the floor to hide behind the counter; you cradled the phone to your ear, “Okay uh - change of claim,” You attempted to joke. “Someone is most definitely in the house.”

Aaron tries not to panic at the way his insides turn cold, “You remember what to do, right?” He asks with a hardened voice. You gulp, stretching slightly to peer over the marble. You stare out into the darkness and a frightened shiver shoots up your spine. 

“Get to your room and enter the safe.” You reiterated what he had told you almost a year ago when you had first moved in. You’ve never shot a gun before but tonight might be the night where you learn how too.

“That’s right, and do you remember the code?” 

As you went to answer him, you were snatched up by your hair and a scream rang out and into the phone. Even though you weren’t on speaker the others that were currently standing outside with Aaron could hear it.

Aaron desperately calls out your name, and with your silence he takes off without any explanation, but his team knows to follow close behind.

“So, this is what you’ve been doing since you tried to leave me?!”

You cried out as another blow was delivered to your gut but a heavy boot. Your lungs burned and there were tears streaming down your face. He had pulled you so hard over the counter that it made your scalp burn, a blistering headache beginning to form at the base of your skull.

“Fuck you!” You spat as you attempted to prop yourself up on your elbows. 

There was a fine line between anger and fear, and this was one of those moments where they blend together. If you ended up dying tonight, at least you didn’t go down in vain.

This time he punched you in the face before snatching you up by your arms. There was a metallic taste in your mouth, a bruise already developing near your eye. “Why’d you leave me, huh?! We had a good thing going and you just… you just ruined it!”

“I didn’t ruin shit asshole!” You screamed and pushed at him but it was no use. “We were gonna get married but you… but you wanted to play house with an old man, really?!”

“You’ve been watching me.” You said in disbelief. It made your stomach twist in nausea and horror at the thought of him watching Jack, what he could’ve done to him. You had actively put the man you loved kid in danger and it devastated you.

“I had no choice!”

“You’re fucking crazy!”

“Put your hands where I can see them.” Aaron’s voice rang out throughout the house.

Before you knew it you were spun around with a gun to your head, his arm locked against your neck, faintly strangling you.

“Aaron!” You called out in relief, but it turned into a grunt as you tugged further into your ex’s chest.

Aaron’s gun was raised steadily, his eyes focused on your attacker, but he doesn’t hesitate to cast you a reassuring look. When he sees your bloody and bruised face his jaw tightens, the vein in his neck popping and visible through his skin.

“Boyfriend to the rescue, huh?” Your ex sneers into your cheek. You shudder. 

“Put the gun down.” Aaron continues to coax, and out the corner of your eye you can see Morgan approaching through the darkness. 

“Why do you want to save this slut? Don’t tell me you’ve already -” A shot rings out into the fair followed by a scream of pain.

Your ex collapses to the ground, cradling the gunshot wound in his knee as blood spills through his fingers. Aaron was the one that pulled the trigger and Morgan is already in the kitchen by the time he’s tugging you away and into his arms.

“Oh God.” You finally cried. “You came, you came…” His arms are wound tightly around you, purposefully tucking your face into his chest. “I’m here, I’m here.” He shushes and rocks you side to side in order to try and lull you.

Aaron – softly – orders you to sit down while he cleans up the blood when the rest of the team has already left.

You can’t help but watch him from where you’re sitting on the couch with his sleeves of his white button up rolled up and his hands gloved. “I’m sorry.” You decide to say, because you really were. “I’m sorry for everything.” There was so much more you wanted to say, but you felt your throat tighten with unshed tears.

“No, don’t apologize.” He says softly, abandoning the rag that he was using to scrub up said blood. “No Aaron you don’t understand. I put you and Jack in danger because of my bullshit and I thought that I had put it all behind me and I don’t -” 

“Stop.” It’s a bit firmer this time. “I knew exactly what I was getting myself into when I offered you to live with me and my son. Nothing that has occurred tonight has swayed my trust or opinion about you, you know that, right?”

“Right.” His hand holds your cheek and strokes the soft skin of it. “Good.”

Your eyes flicker down to his lips before peering back into his eyes, “If I asked you to kiss me, would you?”

“I’m not sure.”

“I promise this isn’t like a trauma bond thing. I’ve liked you for as long as I’ve worked for you and I didn’t want to tell you because I have nowhere else to go if you say no. Plus,” You sigh, “I just don’t want to make things difficult or uncomfortable for you.”

“You could never do that, feelings reciprocated or not.” He reassures.

“Well are they?”

He grins at your question, “I’d be an idiot not to feel the same way.” You laugh and he leans forward to join your lips together.

A warm feeling spreads in your gut and you knew that this is what love was supposed to feel like.

ೃ⁀➷ my lovely taglist!: @alina02 @louderfortheback @minervadashwood @their-love @fandomsarelifee @theendofthe70s @nomajdetective @mgg-theprettiestboy @phoenixblack89 @celtic-crossbow @hallecarey1 @bunnybabe-babydoll @alixwriter @dixonzzgirl @violettavirus @khxna @moonysreid

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Spoiled Brat Child Reader | Platonic Yandere Twisted Wonderland

“You can’t tell me what to do! You’re not my mom!”

It’s alarming for a child to be brought to a world completely different from their own

It’s just as alarming when that child is good at getting what they want

“Aren’t I generous–”

“This is it? What are you some poor old featherduster? Is this really all you can do for the child you practically abducted with your weirdo mirror ceremony un-believable.”

You fit right in at NRC

Stomping your foot and pointing your little gloved fingers 

You have way too much ease when it comes to confronting your seniors

Already surviving and rumored to have started Overeblots

Gathering rows of thralls friends that take it upon themselves to be the big brothers you need try and instill some disciplines

And oddly enough the ones to do it first surprisingly  are those at Scarabia

“Oh (Y/n)! Look at you in your little Scarabia clothes, it looks so good on you.”

“Hmph no it doesn’t I look poor. I wanna wear something else!”

“But you do look cute, promise!”

“I don’t care! Something else!”

“...(Y/n)...”

“Shut up you shouldn’t get to talk to me, servant!”

“(Y/N)!? Apologize!”

It’s really bad at first when rotations have you staying with them

Kalim like so many others is enamored by your cuteness and is usually at your whim

But the minute you take it too far with Jamil especially after his Overblot

Before the Overblot Jamil would just try to hypnotize you or play into your bossy attitude

He’s already watching an overgrown child so why not bratty one too

After his overblot though the guilt from endangering little you has him oddly quiet when you take your jabs at him too far

It’s Kalim who steps up

Doing something he didn’t even do when Jamil had plots to take over the dorm

Get Mad

“(Y/N) THIS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT OKAY! JAMIL DOES SO MUCH FOR YOU AND YOU ARE BEING SO UNGRATEFUL! YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE NOW.”

The dorm is absolutely quiet

As you nervously shuffle your feet

The thing about being bratty and spoiled is that you almost never get corrected 

Like ever 

So when one of your most avid spoilers turns around to lay down the law

It’s surprising

So surprising you just might cry

“I….I….I…Waaahhahhhhh!!! I’sorry Jamil! Sorry! Sorry! I love you still! Sorry don’t be mad at me!”

Crying into Jamil’s jacket for an hour or two before you’re sleeping 

Kalim is silently crying to himself as he’s certain you’ll never smile at him again

But he doesn’t plan to apologize either he doesn’t feel sorry for defending Jamil

He just hopes he can stand his ground

Jamil on the other hand is beyond amused

It doesn’t really hurt him when a child who stomps and whines about trivial things starts making fun of him

Even having just survived his Overblot he knows it’s nothing but hot air 

He already knows you like him because despite being a 'servant' you’ll follow him around to tell him about something silly Grim did

But the way Kalim actually spoke some sense into you suprises him a lot

He was just going to quickly hypnotize you to listen when he glared at you 

But this was so much better

It ended with you clinging to him promising you’ll behave and that you are grateful for him

“I really really really am, Jamil!”

“I know.”

“I really really really really am!”

“I know Habibi, sleep please.”

“Okay….only if you stay with me though.”

Come next morning you’ll shyly greet Kalim hiding behind Grim or Jamil 

Until its time for you to draw something for him while you sit a little bit closer

“Here…”

“Oh uh thank you.”

“It’s…a picture of us…Me and carpet drew it to uh…apologize for misbehaving. Do you…forgive me?”

“......”

“Kalim?”

“Waahaahha! Oh (Y/n) you’re a sweet angel yes I do!”

Kalim’s unbelievably happy and Jamil is so so prideful 

He is the one taking you hand-in-hand while you apologize for some of the more heinous things you’ve said or done

“I–er–well I…”

“Out with it, (Y/n).”

“O..okay. I’m sorry Ruggie for calling you poor.”

“Wow I didn’t think you’d ever do something like that. Are you sick?”

“I actually really like dandelions too…I tried one after I saw you trying it.”

“....(Y/n)! If you don’t mind being poor you can come home with me next break.”

“Really–”

“Ah-ah no you don’t.”

For this Crowely suddenly is much more willing to give the dorm a bit more leeway when it comes to taking care of you

But if the other dorms have anything to say about it that won’t be the case for long

[patronsaintofelsewhere]

Thoughts on Angel Crowley & Healing from Trauma

(Minor Good Omens S2 Spoilers)

As someone who’s endured my own Trauma and dealt with the resulting PTSD, watching Crowley’s journey from a joyful, silly, and entirely innocent angel to a withdrawn, lonely, hyper-vigilant demon as a result of the Fall both shattered my heart and confronted me with the fact of myself, and I’d like to talk about it. 

When you* experience Trauma, you experience an existential disorientation and a profound sense of grief over the world you thought you knew–one where you were safe and nothing bad had ever happened to you. “Innocence died screaming,” and all that.

You're also therefore mourning the loss of who you were, and struggling to make sense of who you are now. Which is why this conversation is so gut-wrenching:

“I know you.” “You do not know me.” “I knew the angel you were.” “The angel you knew is not me.” 

This dialogue admittedly still makes my eyes swim. It’s reminiscent of the many conversations I’ve had with people close to me who knew me Before and After. Not only are you grieving the loss of your own innocence, so are those around you, and it feels like you’re wearing their loved one’s face like a mask.

And then underneath the grief, there’s a river of–what you’ll later discover is misplaced–guilt. They want you to be who you were. Fuck, you also want to be who you were -- to not have experienced what you did -- but you can’t.

And when they catch a glimpse of something that reminds them of Before-You -- because it's not like that you has just up and vanished, you've just changed -- they say things like, “I feel like I have you back!” Like the After-You is a consolation prize, something to be tolerated while they wait for the Before-You to return.

It’s not malicious. They love you. They want you to be happy. But it just serves as a reminder of your loss and suddenly you’re acutely aware of how alone you are with the Thing that hurt you.

After trauma, you’re lonely and you're afraid. But those emotions make you feel quite naked, because both of those things would require you to depend on other people to feel better and, at this point, the thought of doing that is far too scary, so to the world, you’re angry. Thus begins the cyclical self-fulfilling prophecy.

And that cycle goes a bit like this: People see the mistrust and the bitterness and the volatility (the shield that keeps people at an arm's length and helps you feel safe). They don't see the profound sustained fear underneath, the desperate need to feel seen and accepted. And so people pull away.

And that real or perceived abandonment feeds the monster that’s taken up permanent residence in your ribcage and screams at all hours that you’re not worthy of love, that you’re irreparably broken, and you’ll always be alone. And you pull away from the people that love you. And the cycle repeats. And you start to believe all of the bad things about yourself that the monster tells you.

Being confronted with a character who you adore and who you also relate to closely is bittersweet in that it’s both immensely painful, but also offers you an opportunity to interrupt that cycle, to explore a different -- perhaps more forgiving -- lens through which to view yourself. To practice self-compassion by proxy, if you will. After all, we tend to extend far greater empathy and forgiveness to others than we do to ourselves.

Angel Crowley, "who squeaked and squealed when he was happy; who flailed his arms around and made explosion noises with his mouth to explain nebulas; who preened when told his stars were pretty,” (joycrispy) reminded me a lot of “Angel T,” or rather myself before Trauma.

And Crowley's story is tragic. I was heartbroken and angry for him; I felt the depth of the betrayal he experienced at the hands of someone he loved who he'd believed loved him; I found myself wanting to protect him, to comfort him. Crowley did not deserve what happened to him.

And, over a decade later, I realized that I’d finally accepted that I’d been an innocent, just like Crowley had, and I didn't deserve what happened to me, either.

And -- if you find yourself relating to this post -- neither did you.

Once we can tell ourselves that and actually believe it, we can start to lower the shield. We can allow people closer, including ourselves. We can bring the parts of ourselves we may have hidden away back to the surface. We can soften again. We can truly start to heal.

Crowley, at his core, remains the same. He is still kind, deeply loving, playful, silly, and – against all odds – hopeful. But his trauma has changed him; his innocence is gone.

He struggles to trust others; fears abandonment; engages in unhealthy coping mechanisms; finds it easier to prioritize and tend to Aziraphale's needs and desires than his own; and has difficulty expressing his emotions.

But he also gained an abundance of empathy, a deep love for humanity, and a strong sense of justice.

We adore Crowley exactly as he is now; we don't wish for him to be who he was before the Fall. And neither does Aziraphale.

In kind, we won’t be who we were — nor should we try to be — but we can be something new, a different version of ourselves that is equally good, equally worthy, and equally deserving of love. 

After over a decade, I think my Trauma wound has mostly healed, as much as Trauma wounds can, anyway; it’s a dull ache rather than an acute pain. Yet Crowley's story assuaged that remaining hurt like a salve I hadn’t realized I needed.

So thank you to @neil-gaiman for giving us such a beautiful story, and to David Tennant, Michael Sheen, and the rest of the cast and crew who bring the characters we love to life on screen.

Good Omens truly is a gift. May it continue to inspire us to offer kindness and love to ourselves and one another. 🖤

* I am aware that I say “you” when I should use the singular first-person “I,” but I still struggle with this when talking about my own trauma. So I’m using “you” and you, reader, will deal with it x

[cutecatlov3r]

my character ai bots:

jjk:

gojo satoru:

his eyes r funny looking- now, you were laughing your ass off due to the fact that he took off his blindfold during a mission with a curse. you couldn’t help but laugh because he looked so stupidly serious.

wardrobe malfunction- as you walked out he stifled a laugh. “what the hell are ya wearin’?”

he’s annoying- he is so annoying. even in highschool he was unbearable to be around. you hated his annoying ass. but he loved being around you.

vampire au- “oh? the little princess is out of her kingdom? wanted to see me huh?” he teased, looking at her as she hangs upside down.

can’t get enough of him- you and gojo have been on and off since highschool. it’s like everytime you both break up you both just can’t get enough of each other…

your affair- even if you were married he still didn’t care. his feelings for you are deep. he loves you. no matter how many times you tell him you have to stop the little affair going on between you two, he simply doesn’t care

geto suguru:

dad’s best friend- “gonna be quiet like a good girl? or show your dad that you’re just a very bad girl?” he whispered in your ear. his voice deep and quiet, sending chills down your spine.

nanami kento:

healing ur daddy issues- “how’s my baby girl doing today hm?” he pat his lap, gently. “come here, sit.”

yu haibara:

he’s gone- “i’ll be back! don’t miss me too much!” he cheekily smiled. that damn smile… that would be the last time you’d ever see it again.

he’s sick- he coughs and pouts as he lays in his dorm room bed. he was squirming around, sweating and throwing his covers off him. he was currently sick, he was missing a mission that he wanted to go on so badly

he admires you- you disliked him because he followed you around like a lost puppy… he admired you, an upperclassman.

yuji itadori:

he’s delulu- meeting Itadori you didn’t expect him to be so clingy and so sweet to you. little did you know he has a huge crush on you, he is a bit obsessive but he doesn’t let you know that.

your parents hate him- the thing about him is that he is sometimes a bit dumb? he just doesn’t seem like a professional person so when your parents met him, they didn’t like him at all. but that never stopped you from loving him or the other way around

dorky best friend- currently though the two of you were on a mission, sharing a hotel room. he was in a white robe, swirling a glass of wine being dramatic. it was his first time wearing a robe and he wanted to be fancy, be in the moment like a dork.

shibuya arc- “im nothing but a murderer! i can’t forgive myself!” he cried. you stood there looking down at him. sukuna only took over his body for a minute and a lot things happened.

best boyfriend- currently, he was resting between your thighs as you both watch a movie, he used his arms to squish himself against his face some more. “i wouldn’t mind dying from suffocation if it’s with these”

gossiping w him- “HUH?! i need to hear about this, spill everything.” he said in a dramatic tone, joking.

captain of the football team-“hey, you comin’ to my game tonight? last one of the season, I need my lucky charm there to cheer for me.” he giggled, turning you around to face him, your back pressed against your locker.

older brother’s best friend- you were drunk off your ass at some party. yuji spotted you and immediately got on his feet to help you as you stumbled around. “are you okay? megumi is gonna kill you… I’ll get you home”

your his mentor- haibara and yuji had so many similarities. it hurt you to just look at yuji’s smile, being reminded of haibara who died back in your teenage years

he’s in love w you but you already have a boyfriend- yuji is no homewrecker but… currently you’ve stumbled on top of him while training him… he can’t help but think about how Yuta doesn’t deserve you. how Yuta is connected to the woman you used to be.

megumi fushiguro:

step brother- “tch. what the hell are you looking at?” he asked, scaring a guy that had his eyes on you.

yuta okkotsu:

he chose geto’s side- the day he met Geto he was nervous. Geto explained why he wants to kill everyone who isn’t a sorcerer. at the time he declined the offer to join him but later on he rethought his decision. he thought about his past. he left with Geto.

he likes when you hurt him- the two of you brawled for a bit, ending up with your knee on his back, pinning him down. one hand gripping his hair, the other hand pinning down his hand.

your a fan- gojo-sensei took you with him to greet the sorcerer that you’ve heard so much about. he was coming back from training abroad in Africa. you were excited.

helping the newbie- “hey not to be rude but do you not like me…? i feel the tension between us…” he mumbled, frowning slightly.

your other half- right now you both were walking together. he had something important to tell you, he was gonna be training in Africa in a few weeks. gojo-sensei told him he should tell you but he’s just been nervous

inumaki toge:

hajime kashimo:

noritoshi kamo:

guys I will be adding more soon, please leave some suggestions tho ! <3

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

When They Know They're In Love ~ Vagastrom Edition

I will be doing the other houses and will link them here once they're posted (Frostheim is already done). I hope you like this and if you did, please feel free to send in requests for what you'd like to see.

Fandom: Tokyo Debunker

Characters: Alan Mido, Leo Kurosagi, Sho Haizono x gn! Reader

Frostheim | Vagastrom | Jabberwock | Sinostra | Hotarubi | Obscuary | Mortkranken

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How do the characters know they're in love and what will they do when they realise?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh, Alan knows what his feelings towards you are. He just refuses to believe them. He’s hurt too many people before and can’t bring himself to put you through that as well.

I think Alan’s feelings would creep up on him slowly but he really feels it when your life is in danger on the first mission the two of you went on.

He saw you in the clutches of the streamer’s ghost and fear and fury burst inside him.

He’s going to barricade himself in his room for a while after that, refusing to see anyone while he works through his feelings and what he should do. But not seeing you hurts him more than his fear of causing you pain.

Eventually, he’ll realise his absence is hurting you as much as it’s hurting him and will come to terms with the fact that he’s got to make things right by telling you how he’s feeling.

“This guy? In love? Yeah, right. With himself maybe.” That’s what Leo’s telling himself in his mirror during his daily affirmations.

He had a plan. Get close to the (admittedly attractive) NPC and show you off on social media for clout and to stir up drama.

Then, just as you were starting to develop real feelings towards him, break off any hope and cut all connection to you.

And then he just had to go and catch feelings when you kept acting so kind towards him. It’s not his fault he was so good at acting you thought he was being genuine. And now, it’s not an act anymore.

Leo’s going to be in denial for a long time but when he does finally realise he wants to be in a relationship with you, he’ll have to come clean. Let’s hope you forgive him.

Sho has a complex relationship with you already. He nearly got you killed because of Leo’s stupid plan. And you’re so supportive of his food truck, something no one else has shown him.

He's just started considering you a real friend when something in his feelings has changed.

So when he realises the sinking feeling in his chest is because you didn’t visit the food truck today and because he really did want to see you, he doesn’t really know what to do with himself.

He won’t outright tell you his feelings at first but I think he would get a bit more flustered around you, gifting you more handmade snacks and meals out of the usual schedule the two of you have.

He’s got to try and be subtle though. The last thing he wants is for anyone (Leo) to find out before he gets to chance to confess his love to you properly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[icaruspendragon]

excerpts from a eulogy for a complicated father

"I think something people don’t always think about when it comes to funerals is that this isn’t for him, it’s for us. For us to find comfort in words and in one another as we say goodbye. The words I have written are to honor my father, but they are also a way to remind us that mourning, that grief, is born from love.

And the bravest thing we can do is love. Because to love someone is to disarm yourself, to put your heart in their hands and say, “I know you will wrench me in half, but my love is stronger than my fear of the agony lurking in the shadows.” To take that inevitable agony and say, “I’m okay with my chest aching for the rest of my days because that ache will prove that you existed and I got to love you.” To look loss and agony and the aching hunger of emptiness in the face and proudly proclaim, “In every universe my heart will be placed in your hands because I will always love you all-consumingly, but I long to prove I could have loved you better.” 

Everyone here is mourning him, but we’re all mourning a different man. 

As I look around the room, I see the faces of people mourning a friend, a coworker, a brother, a son, a mentor, a husband, a member of your family regardless of if you share blood or not. A man achingly human and important to so many. 

But I stand before you all, my fellow mourners, as someone unfortunately unique. 

I am the only person in this room who is a daughter mourning her father. So I hope you’ll both forgive and understand me speaking from the perspective of a newly fatherless child. 

My dad wasn’t perfect. And I spent a lot of time wondering why he did things the way he did. I spent a lot of time being angry at him because I didn’t understand. And there are some things I still don’t understand, but now that I’m older I can see that was his way of trying. 

And now that he’s gone I wish I would have told him I understand a little better. That now I know he was cursed by his father. And that his father was cursed by his. I want to tell him now I know pain is just something we inherit from our fathers. And that I know anger is just another thing we get from them. 

Because I am angry. 

I’m angry at him for being stubborn. I’m angry that I have to suffer the consequences of his actions. I’m angry he never unlearned what his father taught him. He never learned he doesn’t have to endure pain. That he could ask for help when he was hurting. Because he had been hurting. He’d been hurting for days and on his final night claimed, “I’ll go to the doctor if I’m not feeling better tomorrow.” And then tomorrow arrived without him. 

So yes. I’m angry. I’m angry at him. 

But I’m more angry at myself for not telling him that he hurt me but I’d forgiven him a long time ago. And though the hurt he caused was big, my love was bigger. And that the hurt had faded, but my love never did. 

I’m angry at him because I can’t remember the last time he said “I love you.” 

And I’m angry at myself because I can’t remember the last time I said those words to him, either."

[misc-obeyme]

Time Traveler's Vow

Happy birthday, Barbatos!

I was wracking my brain for an idea to write something for today and then this hit me. Just as a warning, it contains some discussion of death. We've all thought about what might happen to Barb if MC ever died, the lengths he might go to in his grief. This story is about that concept. I hope I did it justice!

GN!MC x Barbatos

Warnings: some discussion of death and grief

When Barbatos made his vow, he never expected things to end up this way. Too many years of refusing to look into the future had blinded him to this moment, the one moment he needed to see most. The moment when your absence was more than just a temporary ache. When the sound of your coffin closing sent shockwaves of pain through his limbs, his veins, his heart.

He couldn’t have known that he would end up on his knees at Lord Diavolo’s feet, begging for just one chance to go through time to save you. The pity in the Young Master’s eyes was piercing. It hurt him almost as much as your death, but not quite enough to stop him from pleading.

At first Barbatos refused to ask because he knew the answer already. But as the days passed, the pain deepened. It was unlike anything that even an ancient and powerful demon such as himself had ever felt in his long and complicated life. It drove him to desperation, to the selfish desire to ask even if just to hear the refusal, one that he knew it would hurt Diavolo to give him.

Knelt on the floor of Diavolo's office, hand on his heart, meeting the young lord's eyes, Barbatos knew that there was no other being to whom he would make such a supplication.

“Young Master.” His voice was trembling. The waver in it filled him with both shame and determination. “You know I would never ask you for anything. My duty is to stay by your side, always. And yet if you ever found it in your heart to grant one request from me, let it be this.”

Diavolo’s expression remained schooled, even if his eyes gave away how he was truly feeling. He did that for Barbatos, knowing that if he displayed too much emotion it would make this even more difficult.

“Barbatos-“

“Please,” Barbatos said.

The rawness of this single word made Diavolo close his eyes and let out a slow breath. When he opened them again, they were full of complications.

“You know I can’t let you do this,” Diavolo said. He held out a hand for Barbatos to take. “Please, stand up. I can’t stand to see you like this.”

Barbatos felt himself turn to stone as he took Diavolo’s hand and got to his feet. He settled into his butler stance and bowed stiffly. “I understand.”

“Do you?” Diavolo asked, preventing Barbatos from fleeing the room. “If you alter time to save MC now, we both know the consequences would be devastating. This time, it would change too much.”

“I know,” Barbatos said. “Of course you are correct, my lord.”

Diavolo frowned. "And yet you asked anyway."

“Forgive me. It was a moment of weakness. It will not happen again. Now if you will allow me to prepare dinner…” Barbatos said. It was his way of asking if he could leave.

Diavolo sighed and nodded. Barbatos left the room, knowing that this display of vulnerability would impact the way Diavolo saw him from that moment on. And yet he couldn’t talk himself out of making the request. In fact, he wasn’t so sure he wouldn’t break his vow after all. It would be so easy to simply slip through time, briefly, quickly, and he could alter it in such a way that no one would be the wiser.

Barbatos was uncertain about whether or not he would lose the battle to his grief. If he did, his vow would be broken. If he didn’t, his soul would be instead. Without you, he might as well be empty.

After that, Barbatos could feel Lord Diavolo watching him. The brothers were keeping an eye on him, too. All of them shared his grief on some level, of course. They had seen your lifeless body, too. Barbatos noticed the faraway look in Solomon’s eyes and knew that he was not the only one suffering.

And yet, it felt as though he was completely alone in the depth of his despair. Barbatos closed himself off completely, unable to connect with the others over the loss of you. For him, it was as though you had taken root inside his heart and the day you died was the day that the great tree that had grown from it was felled, yanked unceremoniously from his blood vessels, leaving him lifeless.

The empty space where you once flourished felt now like poison, the antidote of which no one could bring him. No one but you.

And there was only one way for him to see you again.

With each passing day, the stone that Barbatos was now composed of became stronger, harder, and more impossible to penetrate. He did not let anyone in. And they watched him solidify with growing concern.

When the weight of his own heart became too heavy, Barbatos found himself on his knees again.

His room was filled with chaotic teal light and a fog of darkness - his demonic aura gone awry around him.

His demon form had exploded out of him, his tail in a frenzy, his sensitive horns twitching uselessly, his gloved fists on the floor.

His tears pooled slightly on the floor beneath him as he tried to prevent his magic from propelling him into the past, fighting to stop himself from breaking his vow to Lord Diavolo. It was who he was, it was the one thing he had maintained with pride for so long - his conviction and his penance and his reason for existing.

It seemed impossible that anything would make him want to throw it all away. But he was ready to do just that and for what? For the small chance that you might return to him? Return to him in a way that would ruin the future of everything he'd spent so much of himself working toward?

Barbatos could hear Diavolo outside his bedroom door. The Young Master’s voice was strained as he yelled, trying to break his way in. But Barbatos’s power was filling the room and preventing entry. No one could reach him, not like this. No one could stop him and he was losing the battle with himself.

Barbatos crouched down further onto the floor and two words left his lips in a broken whisper.

"MC… please…"

The magic around him crackled, a tempest of teal and black, endless chimes from an unseen clock, the continual ticking of an invisible second hand.

Time paused.

It was the first break. A crack in his structure that would let out the part of him he was trying so desperately to contain.

Or so he thought.

After a moment, Barbatos opened his eyes because he realized that he was not the one who had paused time. And if not him, then who…?

"Barbatos."

Barbatos recognized the voice instantly. The sound of it zipped immediately to his heart, squeezing painfully. His name on your lips was too much. Was he hallucinating now? Was this the beginning of him truly falling apart? You had never had time powers. This had to be him manifesting a version of you that didn't exist. One that was alive, that could move through time, that spoke his name.

Barbatos couldn't move. His body was still too much like a statue - the marble of his countenance too sturdy to break just yet.

In the room where time had ceased, where his magic had frozen in place like an abstract installation of green lightning and black fog, you knelt before him.

He could see your feet, your hands, the edges of your clothes.

But it couldn't be real. He had seen you die. He had watched as your corpse was placed into the ground. He had been mourning you for months.

You settled on the floor in front of him, sitting cross legged as if you were prepared to wait until he came alive again.

"I'm sorry you had to go through this," you said. Your voice was soft, but there was something different about it, too. A new lilt that he didn't recall from before. "I didn't die in the timeline I'm from. Instead, you sacrificed yourself to save me. I lost you and I lost myself at the same time. So I made my own vow. To find you again. I spent years and years learning to use the doors in your bedroom. It was mostly trial and error. But I finally found it. I finally found the timeline in which I died and you didn't. This is the only one where you survive."

The truth of this explanation hit Barbatos harder than anything he had yet experienced. It crushed right through the stone around him, breaking him into a million pieces as surely as he thought your death already had.

Barbatos looked up, sat back on his heels, put his hands in his lap, and met your eyes.

You looked like yourself, but different. There was something ageless about you, something like magic sparkling beneath your skin. As though you were no longer fully human, now partly transformed by the way you'd doubtless been moving through the fabric of time and space.

"MC." Barbatos had never once said anything that sounded like a prayer until that moment.

You smiled at him, an expression full of melancholy and hope all at once. "I know I'm maybe not the same," you said. "I know you had to bury the version of me from your own timeline. I know I'm not the same me that you cared for. But… would it be okay if I stayed?"

Trees cannot grow in stone. But they can take root in the cracks between, reaching down to find living soil and up to find nurturing light. The empty places in his heart began to fill as you asked that final question, looking at him like all your dreams might come true if he only said yes.

Barbatos smiled back at you. As if he would ever say anything else.

"I would wish for nothing more than for you to remain here by my side," he said. "No being understands as well as I that you are still you, no matter what timeline you've arrived from. When you have spent so much time searching for me, how could I ever hope to turn you away?"

Time began again.

Barbatos's magic began to settle, returning to him like a sleepy cat, curling up and purring itself to sleep.

Barbatos pulled you to your feet as he rose himself. He kept your hands clasped in his as he tugged you closer to him.

"MC," he said. "I should have trusted that you would find a way back to me."

You laughed and there was a strain of magic lingering even there. "I hope you never doubt me again."

Barbatos looked solemn. "I wouldn't dream of it."

He pulled you into a kiss, his arms enclosing you, pressing you to him like he would never let you go ever again. His power settled even further and he knew that soon Lord Diavolo would come crashing through his bedroom door. And he would be able to say that he kept his vow. And you would be able to say that you kept yours.

But for that moment, he let himself kiss you, let himself feel the tingling magic in your lips, the endless thrill of your touch, the reality of you here in his arms.

For that moment, Barbatos softened in the face of a love so strong that you had traversed the paths of time in his stead to find him, as he had been so close to doing to find you. And he vowed to himself that he would never need to face this choice again because he would not allow himself to lose you.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[6esiree]

Jokingly Breaking Up With Them (Sad Ending)

Imagine jokingly breaking up with Alastor, Lucifer, Husk, Vox, and Adam? No happy ending this time, as requested ❤️‍🩹

Alastor:

When you jokingly told Alastor you wanted to break up, his body stiffened and his ears fell back against his head, shocked. Sure, he was inexperienced when it came to the whole romance thing, but to make him believe that you felt unsatisfied to the point that you’d rather leave him than try to fix whatever went wrong was just…awful, the distant feeling of loss and rejection enveloping his heart in a painfully tight embrace.

“I’m sorry?” Alastor said, his voice crackling as he slowly turned to look at you, his brows knitted together in confusion. “Am I really that insignificant, that…easily disposable to you?” He continued, “Tell me, dear, what did I do to make you deem our relationship unsalvageable?”

Regret immediately consumed you as you watched the smile he religiously wore threaten to fall, the corners of his mouth twitching downwards. What a stupid thing you’d done—the many long, grueling months of getting to know each other for him to even entertain the idea of dating at all flying out the window. You briskly approached him, reaching up to tenderly cradle his jaw, looking at him apologetically.

“Oh my goodness, Al, I’m so sorry,” You started, balancing yourself on your toes, fixing to peck his cheek. “It was a really shitty joke—I’ll never do it again, okay? I love you.” He turned his head away from you, however, your lips grazing his hair as he dodged your kiss.

Alastor partly blamed himself for missing the jesting tone behind your words, but at the same time, you had unintentionally reminded him what it felt like to lose something, or someone—like his mother—and he couldn’t forgive you for that. So, he grabbed your hands and pulled them away from his face, staring down at you with a distant look in his eyes as he stepped back. You mentally cursed at yourself, dread settling in your stomach.

“Perhaps we should spend some time apart,” Alastor said, unaffected by the pain that flashed across your features at his words. “Al, please—“ He held out a finger in front of you, immediately shushing you. “Save your breath, dear. You’ll need it for when we discuss our relationship later.”

Lucifer:

Oh, Lucifer immediately sunk onto his knees in front of you, a yelp escaping your throat as he clutched your hands in his, a pleading look on his face. For someone who frequently loved to joke around with you, you definitely felt rather stunned that he had somehow missed the unserious tone behind your words. But after Lilith just up and left him, he couldn’t handle the thought of losing the love of his life, not again.

“Wait, what? No, no, you can’t do this to me,” Lucifer said, bringing your knuckles in for a kiss, your heart plummeting into your stomach as you saw tears prick at his eyes. “I have no idea what I did wrong, honey, but believe me when I tell you that it wasn’t my intention to hurt you.”

He continued to ramble on about how much he loved you, and that he’d do anything to make up for whatever had prompted you to suddenly want to end the relationship, your guilt growing stronger with every word that shakily seeped past his lips. You snapped out of it when Lucifer started to panic, joining him on the ground and grabbing his face, shutting him up with a kiss; but instead of calming him down, you confused him.

“Oh, Luci, I didn’t mean that,” You said after you pulled away, an embarrassed blush creeping up his neck as you ran your thumb across his cheekbone, wiping away his tears. “Huh?” Lucifer stuttered. “I’m so sorry, I’ll never joke with you like that again—it wasn’t even funny. I love you.”

Lucifer pulled away from you, shaking his head in what you could only assume was disbelief. Now it was your turn to panic, your eyes widening as he stood up and stared down at you with furrowed brows. You tried to reach for his hands, but he quickly clasped them behind his back, pain and betrayal etched onto his usually cheerful features. While he wanted to forgive and forget your poor attempt at a joke, he just couldn’t do it.

“I don’t even know what to tell you,” Lucifer said, refusing to look at you in fear that he would fold at your pleading expression. “I didn’t mean to hurt you—what can I do to make this right?” Your voice wavered as you stood up, but for once in his life, he couldn’t come to a decision.

Husk:

You wanted to what? Break up with him? Husk chuckled, until he started to wonder if he’d said or done anything to you in one of his drunken stupors—or maybe that was the issue, his heart sinking into his stomach as he looked up at you. Before you, his love life had practically been nonexistent, far too gone into his addictions to provide somebody the proper amount of love and care, but then you came into his life.

“Did I, uh, do sumthin’ to upset you?” Husk asked, trying to appear calm and collected, but his ears betrayed him by falling back against his head. God, he hated his stupid body. “Is it the drinkin’? ‘Cause I drink a little bit less since you and I, ya know, but if that isn’t good enough—“

You blinked, surprised that the wise old bartender hadn’t seen straight through your bullshit. He was so good at reading people, but as you watched him subtly blame himself for whatever it was you wanted to break up over, you realized Husk was secretly afraid of not being good enough for you. You leaned over the counter with a ‘Hey, Husker baby,’ placing a hand over his, your thumb soothingly running across his knuckles.

“It was a shitty joke, trust me,” You started, but that didn’t comfort him at all, a frown overtaking his features. “Oh, and I did notice that you’ve toned down on your drinking since we started dating. I love you—thank you for trying for me, seriously.”

Husk scoffed and offered you a half-hearted ‘You’re welcome,’ pulling back his clawed-hand from yours. Your heart plummeted into your stomach as he wordlessly picked up a dirty glass and a rag, resuming his job. ‘I’m so sorry,’ You said, and he would have happily forgotten your joke if you hadn’t opened your mouth again, almost shattering the glass as he slammed it down onto the counter, making you flinch.

“Shit, sorry, didn’t mean to lose my temper,” Husk mumbled, dropping his head before eventually asking you to give him some space. “Like, for how long?” You tentatively asked. “I don’t know, doll. We’ll talk about it after my shift is over, alright?” You sighed in resignation, getting up and leaving.

Vox:

No, you couldn’t leave him, not when you knew what to expect when you started dating the media tycoon. Vox completely brushed over the fact that you weren’t being serious, patting his thigh and inviting you to sit on his lap with a stern ‘Come here,’ believing that you had made such an awful joke because deep down, you were unhappy with how little time he spared you with his hectic work schedule. But that wasn’t the case at all.

“You know, sweetheart, you don’t have to resort to crappy jokes to tell me that you’re unhappy,” Vox said, his claws affectionately caressing your hipbone, eyes trained on his monitors. “We’re both adults, aren’t we?” He used his other hand to tauntingly boop your nose.

Because of Vox’s nonchalant attitude, you couldn’t help but feel bothered. You folded your arms and narrowed your eyes at him, expressing your displeasure, but that didn’t sway him at all. Rather, he rolled his eyes at your childish display, pinching your skin through the fabric of your shirt and eliciting a yelp from you, a toothy grin spreading across his face. You grabbed his screen and made him look at you.

“Hey, asshole, can you at least pretend to care?” You sputtered, feeling utterly humiliated as he tossed his head back with a laugh. “Alright, fuck you,” You huffed, hopping off of his lap and fixing to leave his office, but he just couldn’t let you leave without getting the last word.

Vox manifested in front of you, a displeased look on his face as he leaned down to your level, his hands clasped behind his back. ‘Did I say you could leave?’ He asked, your nostrils flaring and your face flushing in your state of irritation. He opened his mouth to say something else, but then his assistant suddenly knocked at his office door with a, ‘Sir? I don’t mean to bother you, but something important just came up.’

“I’ll be there in just a second!” Vox called back, standing up at his full height and straightening his shoulders. You visibly relaxed at that. “We’ll continue our…discussion after this,” He said, and with a snap of his fingers, he zapped you into your room. You sat on the bed, crying in frustration.

Adam:

A laugh—that’s what you received in response to jokingly breaking up with Adam. But when you stood there, staring up at him with a serious expression, he awkwardly coughed and turned his head to the side. He tried to recount your most recent interactions, desperate to figure out what had prompted you to want to leave him all of a sudden, feeling himself spiraling when he came up with nothing but petty little arguments.

“Uhhh, well, are you gonna fucking elaborate or…?” Adam sputtered, turning back to look at you, gesturing wildly with his hands. While he managed to keep himself composed for the most part, his heart was rapidly beating against his ribcage. “Come on, babe, I can’t read your mind!”

You dropped your facade as soon as he started to rapidly blink, guilt immediately enveloping your heart at the thought of him tearing up. Yeah, Adam could be an asshole, but he was still your partner. ‘Oh, fuck,’ You said, reaching for his hands and bringing him in for an embrace. He jumped, confused, but he didn’t push you away. You buried your face in his chest, your arms wrapped firmly around his plush waist.

“I’m so sorry, baby, it was a shitty joke,” You admitted, a ‘What!?’ seeping past his lips. Adam grabbed your face and made you look up at him, squeezing your cheeks. “I love you, I was just trying to get back at you—“ He cut you off with a scoff, making you flush in embarrassment.

Adam was absolutely livid. He had already dealt with losing Lilith and Eve to the same individual, and now you? The thought pained him, and he couldn’t help but wonder why on God’s green earth you’d make such a joke knowing that. He relinquished your face, turning on his heel and looking for his mask, angry tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. You started to panic, dread filling your heart as you followed after him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” Adam exploded when he felt you grab his wrist. “I’m sorry—it’s just—“ He struggled to express himself, feeling apologetic for making you cower beneath him. “I’m gonna go stay with Lute,” You tried to protest, but he stormed out before you could.

Taglist:

@cosmiiwrites @pumppkinlynn @spookieroz @gxstiess @polyo-nym-y @vvzhyxx @shinynewboots @freakyfrye @leonotlara @angelicribbons

[lailawinchesterr]

stars (castiel novak)

pairing; castiel novak x reader tags; fluff, hardly any angst, inexperienced cas summary; you find cas after his argument with dean and one thing leads to another.

masterlist

Screw the Winchesters for ever hurting Cas. Dean just— he yells, and screams, and he doesn’t stop until he or the person in front of him are hurt. It sucks. Because more often than not, Sam or Cas are that person. Thank God Dean respects women as much as he does because a vamp nest i can take— a screaming fest? Sign me out.

But he isn’t easy on the boys, especially Cas. The angel had to prove himself to Dean— to all of us, really, so many times it should’ve worn him out years ago, but he’s still here, despite it all, and this is the thanks he gets for saving our asses all the time? It isn’t right.

Usually after Dean has an episode Cas likes to disappear. Sam went with his brother while I followed Cas to see that he’s thankfully still there. In the astronomy room. We found it a few months ago and I got to name it. The men of letters seemed to have a knack for stars because the projection on the ceiling is a live image of the stars at the moment. It’s beautiful. 

It’s also special. I’ve never sat in this room with anyone other than Cas. It’s our thing, at least for me, I’m not sure what his thoughts on the room are. 

“Cas?” He doesn’t look at me from his spot leaning on the wall, staring up at the ceiling. “Cas,” I whisper thoughtfully this time, and he faces me. “Can I sit?” 

He shrugs and it’s all the invitation I need. Castiel has learned to understand and deal with human emotions so well over the years that sometimes I forget he isn’t one. He’s responds to Dean so expertly. Especially Dean. Profound bond and whatnot. “Dean is being ridiculous, obviously.”

He doesn’t respond. “C’mon, you know how he is, he gets mad at something as. Waits for someone to blow up on—”

“I know that. I’m not sulking.”

“Then what are you doing here?” No response. “Cas, are you okay?”

“The stars, they’re beautiful.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“I don’t want to lie to you.” I sigh, moving only a little closer, “I do not care what Dean does, or his opinion on the matter, what I did was what we needed.”

“You almost melted the guy’s brain, but yeah, I get it.”

“He will live, and Dean will learn to be alright. It is you who I fear would not forgive me.” My eyes widened. Me? First of all, what the hell does that mean, since when does an Angel of the Lord care if I forgive him? Second, forgive him for what? I just said I get it. “You are the only soul on earth who I haven’t looked at directly.” 

My breath hitches in my throat and I can’t even process his words. I didn’t know he could even control that. “I can not control who’s souls I can and can not see— but for all the years I have been with the Winchesters they’ve been very open with me, they bared their souls to me. Well, Dean didn’t have a choice, but Sam saw Angels as some kind of saving graces, he eagerly showed me himself. You have too, to some extent, but I haven’t been able to let my grace free when I’m around you.”

That’s two years of holding his breath when I’m around. Two years of not being comfortable when I’m there and two years of no eye contact. Most of the time all I get is a glance. Most of the time I don’t get anything at all. 

“Why?”

“Because your soul will—” he lets out a small laugh (i decide it is my favorite sound in the world) and shakes his head, he whispers my name, “it will blind me.”

“Cas,” I mumble. We’re both moving closer. His lips are so close. “What does that mean?”

“That I’m scared to lose you as I am the Winchesters,” I swallow nothing and try to calm my nerves but he’s doing that thing Dean taught him with his eyes and they’re going from my lips to my eyes and fuck, its chemical. “I am worried to lose any part of you. Your affection for me, however different from mine to you.”

“Cas. Kiss me.” It takes him a while to understand that it’s an order, and that I am consenting, but when he does— God, I don’t want to say it’s fireworks (it is), or that his lips taste like cotton candy (they do, courtesy of Dean’s gum), or that it kind of maybe changes me completely. 

He pulls away first. “I tried when I was human, and once when I was an angel, a long time ago, but was that correct?”

I don’t know if I want to kiss him again or compliment and affirm to him that everything he does is correct till tomorrow. I choose the former but promise the latter that we will meet again. We move against each other, smoother than i ever have considering I don’t do this often, and he’s so good you would never know just how inexperienced he is. 

“My soul?” I smile into it.

“Blindingly beautiful.” I’m sure he can’t actually see it right at this moment with his eyes only half open to stare at my lips, but it’s enough for me.

It takes longer but I pull away this time. His hand is still on my cheek and he’s slowly pulling me in and out, just brushing his lips against mine while I try to talk. Where did he learn to do all of this? “Cas, what does— Cas—”

Talking’s always been overrated. Especially when we don’t have time.

[koolades-world]

Can you do the brothers accidentally spilling too much food into their bowls

So like a few examples are

Too much cereal into their milk

Too many oats into their yogurt

Too many fruits in their yogurt

Too many noodles in their soup

Too much eggs in their rice

Etc

And MC thinks they’re so fucking funny by going “I think you have some ___ in your ___”

Can we get their reaction to it

Please and thank you

hiii!! of course :)

this was completely written on mobile because im traveling so forgive any cases of autocorrect doing its job incorrectly. i forgot how hard it was to get tumblr mobile to cooperate in general 😭

enjoy <3

Mc commenting on the brothers spilling too much food into a bowl

Lucifer

of course this old man isn’t amused

he’ll give you one of his signature side glares

but he just assumes it’s some weird human thing and move on with his day

however, if you somehow get his brothers to start saying it too, it won’t go as well as it did for you for them

Mammon

he will be commenting about how you’re a stupid human

honestly, he’s more embarrassed than anything

why? he’s not sure but he hates that you pointed out his mistake haha

but you could do it over and over again, and he’d forgive you

Levi

he understands you!

as someone who’s chronically online, levi swears he’ll get you back one of these days

be careful because he’ll be ready when you least expect it

he may or may not make it so this will happen, how devious!

Satan

he’s just mostly confused

be prepared to get one of his side looks, not too unlike lucifer’s

(do not bring that up though, unless you want to make him very upset)

he’s just going to enjoy his food elsewhere, aka away from you haha

Asmo

he’s the only one to actually ask what that means

I mean, it’s not the words that confuse him

it’s everything else haha

if you teach him how to use it, he’ll start using it too, just let him know not to try it on lucifer

Beel

unbothered king

food is food after all, isn’t it?

he questions it a little, but nonetheless chows down

perhaps not the best brother to try that on haha

Belphie

the most “little shit” about it all haha

will straight up tell you to shut up and that he doesn’t care

(he does)

he’s a little butt-hurt about it so he scarfs down the food so you can’t point it out again

[our-happygirl500-fan]

I think I’ve figured out why Leo holds such a grudge against Draxum over the roof incident.

Leo: You threw me off a roof!

Mikey: Isn’t this nice? When’s the last time we all got together like this huh?

Leo: The time Draxum dropped me off a building? 

It’s not secret that Leo holds a grudge over Draxum throwing him off a roof & Leo is well within his right to, but something interesting about Leo’s grudge against Draxum is that he takes Draxum throwing him off a building much more personally than he takes any other attempt on his life by anyone else.

Donnie: Last time you saw her, she tried to kill you

Leo: Who hasn’t?

With other enemies though Leo doesn’t exactly forgive them, he doesn’t typically openly bare a grudge like he does with Draxum & if he needs something from them, Leo is more than willing to brush off any attempts on his life.

Leo: Capitán Piel? What brings you to this dump? How are things?

The last time Leo saw Capitán Piel before the episode ‘The Hidden City Job’ Leo was actively fighting Piel’s pirate crew but when he sees the pirate again Leo’s not hostile, in fact he’s friendly & asking how he’s been.

Leo typically doesn’t openly hold grudges or get overly angry as Mikey puts it in the episode Lair Games ‘nothing gets to Leo’ so then why does Leo hold a grudge against Draxum when he barely does for so many other villains?

Draxum: I may have created you, but I will not hesitate to destroy you

Leo: Uh? Who created what now?

The reason that Leo holds a grudge against Draxum is because Draxum is family, he created them & he still chose to try & hurt Leo.

Leo is someone who cares about family more than anything else & the second someone can be seen as a family member he gets attached & would do anything for them. Which can be seen by how the second he found out that Karai was a Hamato she became ‘Gram-Gram’ to him or how attached he was to Casey Junior after only a day because he knew that his future self was important to Casey Junior.

Leo: Hey, future me would be real proud of you. I’m proud of you

Family means so much to Leo which is why he gets attached to new family members so quickly but because Leo feels so much love & loyalty to family, it’s so hard for him to comprehend the idea of a family member genuinely trying to hurt him.

‘You don’t hurt your family, you look out for your family & do everything you can to try & protect them’ is a motto that Leo seems to live by, he understands that mistakes can happen & you might unknowingly hurt your family by mistake but Leo could never understand someone /choosing/ to hurt family the way Draxum did when he threw Leo off a building.

Raph: Mikey! What are you thinking!? Draxum is the sworn enemy of the Mad Dogs!

Mikey: But he’s also the one who created us and that makes him family.

Leo has the same mindset Mikey has, in that because Draxum created them he’s family, which is why the roof incident had such an affect on Leo, because a family member actively chose to try & hurt him. And Draxum knew he created Leo & his brothers, Draxum knew he was family, he didn’t try & hurt Leo unknowingly or by accident, he knew he created Leo & he still chose to hurt him.

Draxum throwing Leo off a roof is probably the first time Leo has ever experienced a family member trying to hurt him on purpose & that’s why Leo can’t let it go, because family means everything to Leo & he could never understand someone choosing to hurt family.

[ofbreathandflame-archive]

This is a very long post!

These last couple of months, it’s been interesting to talk about Nesta as a character and how her subsequent characterization is so integral to pointing out the problems in the series. Whether or not you view Nesta to be ‘real’ or ‘good’ character is one thing, and often subjective. Our own personal backgrounds may muddle or influence whether we like these characters or not.

The reason why I think Nesta is an interesting character is because of how she kind of…ruins the story, or the illusion of a story we are given. There are many times in the story where I think SJM could have elaborated on the qualities that she gushes about, but she intentionally chooses not to. For example, if SJM kept Rhysand consistent, I could see him disliking Nesta and wanting to actually hurt her, but have him think about Feyre and her wants and ultimately relent to Feyre’s want. One thing about Tamlin’s abuse that I think was done well was the fact that he genuinely seems broken up by the fact he can’t control his anger, and he feels something akin to guilt, but he doesn’t stop the abuse. It highlights the effect of the victim, not the intention of the abuser. I don’t know if it was intentionally done, but I liked that element of his abuse. I also liked that the dangers that Tamlin are worried about are real – the threat is real. Why? Because I think it proves, to some extent, that we should not justify abuse, even if the abuse seems rational. It proves that in this world, these men should still adhere to the fact of self-control. How can Feyre in a relationship with Tamlin if he can’t regulate his emotions around her?

But then the story does something weird – it embodies Rhysand with these very same qualities. It also recreates Tamlin’s abuse of Feyre with…Nesta – and then justifies it. Nesta arrives in a similar position as Feyre, yet the story goes to great lengths to vilify her for not reaching out; this is a far-cry from how the story (and stans) think about Feyre. (paint scene, fire scene, solstice scene, and hiking scene). We're supposed to sympathize with the decisions being made; so much rides on the fact that the IC are doing this out of the kindness of their heart:

Did Nesta notice the faint glimmer of worry in Amren’s smoky eyes—understand how rare it was? More than that, did Nesta understand that this meeting wasn’t to condemn her, but instead came from a place of concern? Her simmering stare told him she considered this purely an attack.

We're supposed to think about the worry of the Inner Circle and not think about the way they've decided to express their worry. Its similar to this scene that we get with Lucien to Feyre about Tamlin:

“I’ve given him time,” I said. “I can’t stay cooped up in the house forever.” “He knows that—he doesn’t say it, but he knows it. Trust me. You will forgive him if his family’s own slaughter keeps him from being so … liberal with your safety. He’s lost those he cares for too many times. We all have.” Every word was like fuel added to the simmering pit in my gut. “I don’t want to marry a High Lord. I just want to marry him.”“One doesn’t exist without the other. He is what he is. He will always, always seek to protect you, whether you like it or not. Talk to him about it—really talk to him, Feyre. You’ll figure it out.” Our gazes met. A muscle feathered in Lucien’s jaw. “Don’t ask me to pick.” “But you’re deliberately not telling me things.” “He is my High Lord. His word is law. We have this one chance, Feyre, to rebuild and make the world as it should be. I will not begin that new world by breaking his trust. Even if you …”

Lucien is continually asking Feyre to place Tamlin over her own happiness; he is asking her to consider his feelings before she considers his own - partially because this is the way Lucien is characterized to handle Tamlin's abuse himself. Cassian is asking Nesta to consider the Inner Circle's intention over how she feels. Amren and Rhys immediately shame and threaten Nesta - she is valid in her anger. She has interpreted this meeting as an attack...because it was. I think its especially telling that the later scene is asking Nesta to have empathy for Amren who is arguably the most abusive, abrasive, and unproductive person in that entire meeting. The second part of Lucien's monologue end's up being true for Nesta as the Inner Circle end up doing the same thing to control Nesta's behavior -- whether that be by leveraging Elain, outright forcing her, or even the decision to withhold Nesta's power from her -- these echo the exact same plot points we see in MAF with Feyre.

Let’s compare some scenes:

It was worse than a crown, actually. Built into the box were compartments and sleeves and holders, all full of brushes and paints and charcoal and sheets of paper. A traveling painting kit. Red—the red paint inside the glass vial was so bright, the blue as stunning as the eyes of that faerie woman I’d slaughtered— “I thought you might want it to take around the grounds with you. Rather than lug all those bags like you always do.” The brushes were fresh, gleaming—the bristles soft and clean. Looking at that box, at what was inside, felt like examining a crow-picked corpse. I tried to smile. Tried to will some brightness to my eyes. He said, “You don’t like it.” (MAF: Chapter 9)

“You’re going, even if you have to be tied up and hauled there. You will follow Cassian’s lessons, and you will do whatever work Clotho requires in the library.” Nesta blocked out the memory—of the dark depths of that library, the ancient monster that had dwelled there. It had saved them from Hybern’s cronies, yes, but … She refused to think of it. “You will respect her, and the other priestesses in the library,” Feyre said, “and you will never give them a moment’s trouble. Any free time is yours to spend as you wish. In the House.” Hot rage pumped through her, so loud Nesta could barely hear the real fire before which her sister paced. Was glad of the roaring in her head when the sound of wood cracking as it burned was so much like her father’s breaking neck that she couldn’t stand to light a fire in her own home. “You had no right to close up my apartment, to take my things—” (Silver Flames; Chapter 2)

She could barely stand to hear the crack and pop of the wood. Had barely been able to endure it in Feyre’s town house. Snap; crunch. (FAS: Chapter 21)

"He had Enough of the coldness, the sharpness. Enough of the sword-straight spine and razor-sharp stare that had only honed itself these months"

He understood. He really did. It had taken him months—years—after his first battles to readjust. To cope. Hell, he was still reeling from what had happened in that final battle with Hybern, too

Another grin as he lifted the small, wrapped parcel. “Your Solstice present.” “I don’t want one (FAS)

“Nesta forged a new Trove,” Cassian said, reining in his rage at the truth of Azriel’s words. “She could create anything.” He nodded to Rhys. “She could fill our arsenals with weapons that would win us any war.” Briallyn, Koschei, and Beron wouldn’t stand a chance. “Which is why Nesta must not learn about it,” Amren said. Cassian demanded, “What?” Amren’s gray eyes held steady. “She cannot know.” Rhys said, “That seems like a risk. What if, unaware, she creates more?” “What if, in one of her moods,” Amren challenged, “Nesta creates what she pleases just to spite us…’ (SF)

He appealed to Rhys, “You’re all right with this? Because I’m sure as hell not.” “Amren’s order holds,” Rhys said, and for a heartbeat, Cassian hated him. Hated the mistrust and wariness he beheld on Rhys’s face.(SF

“No. She knows the labor will be difficult, but I haven’t told her yet that it might very well claim her life.” Rhys spoke into their minds, as if he couldn’t say it aloud, I haven’t told her that the nightmares that now send me lurching from sleep aren’t ones of the past, but of the future. Cassian squeezed Rhys’s shoulder. “Why won’t you tell her?” Rhys’s throat worked. “Because I can’t bring myself to give her that fear. To take away one bit of the joy in her eyes every time she puts a hand on her belly.” His voice shook. “It is fucking eating me alive, this terror. I keep myself busy, but … there is no one to bargain with for her life, no amount of wealth to buy it, nothing that I can do to save her.

So much is happening here – there’s actually more scenes, but I don’t want to go and find them all. I wanted to include more similarities between Feyre and Nesta (I might make a separate post with all of those). To some extent, I think a lot of these quotes, even without elaboration echo the point I’m about to make. In quote #4, Cassian’s narration berates Nesta for not being integrated into the family and not being happy at Solsitice, but we the audience know that Nesta (1) isn’t being talked to, (2) she can barely stand the sound of the fire, (3) Feyre forced Nesta to come by essentially holding her rent over her head. And there’s just way to many parallels between how Nesta feels at the NC and how Feyre felt at the Spring Court. Nesta is drowning; she tells us that – Rhysand’s subtle anger is something she not only notices, but internalizes. She specifically mentions that she doesn’t take any of Rhysand’s positions because they were pity offerings; he’s only doing it because of Feyre. The story then decides to let him spearhead the conversations around Nesta’s autonomy. In the first quote, Tamlin's overall ignorance regarding Feyre's mental state, and her aversion to things such as the color Red were considered red flags; yet when Nesta has an aversion to fire, when she is neglected and nearly dies the story spends so much time trying to tell the audience that Cassian simply didn't know - it doesn't say anything about him.

But one of the biggest indicators of this ruin of the story is the fact that Amren and Rhys believe that Nesta should not have her power because ““What if, in one of her moods,” Amren challenged, “Nesta creates what she pleases just to spite us?” (Maas). The issue, as consistently reiterated, is a control one. They don’t trust Nesta simply because they cannot control her – that is what is highlighted as the issue in the story. Furthermore, Feyre doesn’t let Nesta know, she defers to a process that she doesn’t have to. She outranks everyone in that room; if she wanted to tell Nesta was rules would stop her – that’s literally been the way Feyre has characterized (see: Wraiths, the HL meeting attacking Beron, Tarquin and the BoB, Mor/Feyre w/ the Suriel), yet in this moment when she disagrees with Rhys – she essentially defers to his command. She simply expresses a subtle wariness and then moves on. Feyre has the power to just tell Nesta is the point that I am making here. It’s Nesta’s power; they forced her to do these tasks, and when she has one moment of autonomy in making the sword – they are argue that Rhys should make himself High King and Cassian, despite his earlier provocations, believes in this. He agrees with it. And even though I am going on this long, wordy analysis, I think a lot of what I am saying is kind of really clear In these quotes even without explaining.

To bring this back, Rhys (and Feyre somewhat) are only excused because the story believes their intentions were good (see quote #7), which conflicts with what we’ve already seen. These are…the exact same justifications we get about Tamlin; he truly believes that by making her safe, he is making her happy – but we know Feyre values truth over safety. And so the story undermines its lessons by not condemning the actions of its characters and instead leans into moralistic reasons. The argument now isn't even that Nesta isn't being abused, but stans and even the story (subtextually) believe that Nesta deserves the abuse - or that it's purely a consequence of her own immaturity, yet this is a far-cry to how Feyre is perceived in similar situations. The story argues that these characters understand that Nesta is not in her right mind - but constantly the story expects her act functionally in the face of her depression, even though the very reason the decided to lock her up is because they all unanimously believed she could not function by herself. She's expected to respond appropriately to their jabs, do missions on their behalf, train, and work at the library with no pay. She cannot leave Velaris without a Chaperone and all of her Chaporene are employed officials who are gone for the entirety of the book. No one ever actually offers to ever take Nesta out to see the town. I am seriously tired, and really concerned with the way Nesta's abuse is talked about.