#but honestly I just had to push myself to experiment with this format

[mrdrhenwardhykle]

Here's a

And I also was able to get on Redbubble and also made it a -without the watermark

[bigstupid69]

They're all here now!!

Mischa was the first one I did so if his sheet looks off and poorly formatted it's cause it is…

Headcanons below the cut

Mischa

☣ Now before I say anything "why are all the boys with each other" uhm cause I was indecisive on if I liked starrypoet, spacerap, or nischa better, I still ship mischalia honestly sometimes even more. So I just threw the rest of them into the polycule regardless

☣ He is a short king, short Mischa truthers rise he is literally only an inch taller than Ocean, she probably intimidates him more than the other way away around (Need more absolutely unhinged Ocean's who are one point away from screaming at someone, Trinity theater Ocean changed my life/j)

☣ He's practically Ezra's adoptive older brother at this point, bond over the Saw franchise and ICP. He's surprisingly good with kids, like he's a good guy he just looks intimidating and crusty, which I did on purpose. But he is literally the sweetest one in the choir, super physically affectionate, gives good hugs.

☣ Along with Penny he also constantly looks like he's been shoved down a flight of stairs, which he claims is because he's gotten into fights. It's not, he just fell down the stairs like her. He wants to think he's all tough and everything but it's like the complete opposite, he's a dork.

Ricky

☄ They are best friends with pretty much everyone except Ocean for obvious reasons. Constance and them make Kandi together. He's wearing two Kandi necklaces on his uniform, both of them loosely based on the Kandi singlets I made for the choir members. (which of course you have no context to unless you're the like 5 people I've shown them to.)

☄ They're breaking so many dress code rules and the school is just too tired to care. Dyes his hair regularly with Constance, also I know lots of people love the Savannah Potts hc, it's cute!! But I physically cannot draw masc presenting people without shitty facial hair. It's an addiction. I'm so sorry.

☄ Their art style definitely is similar to the late 2000s anime style every shitty windows movie maker slideshow presentation had. with a mix of warrior cats and sparkle dogs. I couldn't really present that in the like 4 inch amount of space I gave myself.

☄ Him and Constance have matching tamagotchis, Noel also used to have one but it died and he sobbed for hours and never wanted to touch it again out of sheer guilt of killing a virtual pet.

Constance

♡ I'm ngl I like pretty much every Constance ship except for blackrose and kept seeing sugarspace art and thought it was cute. So there you go sugarspace crumbs, I'll draw them probably at one point.

♡ She is literally the reason why the choir is like mentally and physically stable. Course that's very mentally draining and never said it's a good thing!! She's probably pushed into the group therapist role at points, I hate the "mom friend" headcanon at points, it's accurate, but at points it can be really toxic, coming from personal experiences.

♡ She definitely shops at hot topic with Ricky and collects a bunch of really cheap fandom merch. Usually bracelets and necklaces, also really into styling hair. She braids Penny and Ocean's hair sometimes, and as mentioned before dyes her hair with Ricky.

♡ I don't like blackrose at all but they've dated for like… a day. It was not a great time. (Literally just one of those absolutely pointless middle school relationships that you forget about like immediately after a breakup)

[walmart-sekai]

Okay I finished Leo/Need. Final thoughts below the break.

Stuff I liked:

It feels very realistic.

I mean not the part about hatsune miku taking you to a pocket dimension created by your feelings, but like. I remember being a lonely teenage girl and, in many ways, Leo/Need captures that experience very well. The conflicts, the characterizations, and (with a few exceptions) the dialogue all feel very familiar.

The end wraps things up nicely.

There are some Project SEKAI stories (cough VIVID Bad cough) where the end feels a little rushed or anticlimactic, like the writers were fighting against that 20 episode format.

Leo/Need, on the other hand, felt very satisfying to finish. The band is back together, Honami has come clean to her other friends, Ichika told the others she and Saki have written their first song. They’ve tied up the loose threads while still leaving a lot to be explored in event and side stories. It’s very “the end of this chapter, the beginning of the journey,” vibes.

Saki’s fucking fantastic.

I love, love, love Saki. Her design, her characterization, her motivation is everything to me. The other characters I needed a bit to warm up to, but they do a very good job of making Saki bubbly, energetic, and endearing from beginning to end. She was, hands down, my favorite thing about this story.

Stuff I did not love:

It feels very realistic.

“But Walmart, you said you liked the realism! Why would it be a pro AND a con?” Well gimme a fuckin second here, let me explain.

Leo/Need is very true to the depressed teenager experience. There is miscommunication, there is weird, illogical snap decisions, there’s jumping to conclusions. It’s true to life—but that doesn’t mean it’s interesting.

For many of us, myself included, being a teenager was/is frustrating. It’s confusing, and lonely, and honestly, very annoying. It was annoying to live through and as much as I hate to say it, it was annoying to read.

There is no conflict.

The opening of Leo/Need sets you up to think these characters have had some huge fight. It’s heavily implied that Ichika in particular said something to piss Honamori and Shiho off. This would explain why she’s so hesitant to tell Saki what happened, because she doesn’t want her friend to see her as the villain.

The problem is, nothing happened.

There was no fight. There was no huge, explosive event. There was just three teenagers miss-communicating. This is supposed to be a twist, but it reads like a cop-out. It’s boring.

Again, this isn’t unrealistic—I’ve seen friendships fall apart over miscommunications and good intentions like this, especially when I was younger. It happens in real life all the time.

It’s realistic. But that doesn’t mean it’s compelling storytelling.

Saki’s fucking fantastic.

“Wait, you already did this one too, why did you put two things in both pro and con—“ shut up, it’s my list.

Saki’s great. She’s interesting, she’s multi-faceted, she has an in depth backstory.

Her returning to school is the catalyst for the entire story. I’m nearly every episode, her actions are what drive the narrative forward.

So why isn’t she the main character?

Reading from Ichika’s POV gives us a lot of flashbacks from when Saki was gone, but since the conflict is basically nonexistent, these flashbacks are arguably unnecessary.

Imagine this story reframed from Saki’s POV. Imagine hearing her inner monologue when Honamori and Shiho brush her off when she gets to school. Imagine her practicing that song to impress Shiho, knowing she’s pushing herself too hard, but thinking getting her friends back together is more important.

Imagine getting this sinking feeling in your gut knowing she’s going to push herself too far, knowing somethings going to happen. Then imagine that scene where she collapses from fever while they’re playing hitting that much harder, because you’d been dreading that moment happening.

Cool, did you imagine it? Did it make you feel stuff? Did it feel compelling and heartbreaking?

Cool, so I ask you again, why didn’t we get that?

Final thoughts:

Overall, I enjoyed this story. Really, I did.

Is it my favorite PJSK main story? No. Do I have a lot of criticisms of it? Yes.

But I like it. I like Saki, especially. And I think with the way the last few episodes wrapped up, I’ll enjoy the event stories a lot.

So yeah. If Leo/Need is your favorite, I definitely see the appeal, no disrespect at all. I didn’t come here to start shit, just sharing my thoughts.

[vulpeseques]

Awakening

Nobody was ready for what had happened, and certainly not the guy it happened to. All I remember is that I went from a casual nobody with no outstanding features to the Dark Lord. Let me explain.

I don't know why it happened, honestly. Just that it did. I was sitting at home waiting to give kids Halloween candy when there had been a crash and a small crystal that flickered between red, blue, and green had flown through my living room window. I'd always loved collecting rocks of all kinds growing up, and that never really changed. I was cautious at first; when does a glowing gem just fly through a window?

I knew at the time I probably shouldn't, but I had to get it. Maybe get rid of it, maybe stick it on a shelf and worry about that later, but something needed to be done. I grabbed some tongs from the kitchen and tried to pick it up but the crystal pushed away at them. It reminded me of trying to stick the north side of two magnets together.

I tried to pick it up with a lot of different things, but in the end it was like the crystal demanded that I touch it with my bare hand. When I did, the world seemed to pause around me and I could feel the alien object in my palm scanning me. I tried to drop it, but the thing had adhered to my hand.

Changes will be made.

Hell no. I began to panic and flailed my hand back and forth to try and get the gem off my hand.

Reality discovered. Scanning for nearest cosmetic match.

Uh oh. I started to smack the crystal on a thick and heavy coffee table. I didn't think that the world was ready for Darth Revan walking into the world. In my panic I thought that I was going to get replaced by the Dark Lord of the Sith.

Cosmetic match found.

Me and my cheap Darth Revan costume was close enough to the real thing somewhere out there in the multiverse? This was bad and I needed to stop whatever was happening. I wasn't sure how. You might be wondering what I said at this point. I'll save you the trouble and just tell you that I swore. A lot. Almost exclusively. Lots of F-Bombs.

Beginning update and repurpose processes.

I was furiously hitting the crystal on the table until I locked up and felt searing pain wash over me. That was how I learned this magic rock's processes didn't come with anesthesia. My eyes clouded and I couldn't see anything. Not that I wanted to. At that point I was just waiting to die so it would be over.

Awakening potential in match. Syncing knowledge, skills, and experience.

It was like some parts of my brain were dumped into a bucket of ice water while others had white hot iron pokers jabbed into them. Eventually I slumped over. I began to feel things far off. I'd never felt them before, but as the crystal roughly crammed decades of knowledge and experience into my head I recognized it. Pain. Terror. The crystal dimmed and began to crumble.

Notifying Formation of success. Transference complete.

I lay there for a moment. My body ached and itched, my face felt melted, and as if to add insult to injury my throat was so dry it did that weird crack feeling when you're mildly dehydrated. At the same time, I remembered having felt worse so I pushed myself to stand however unsteadily on my feet. The lights flickered and an image of a squad car outside and a gunshot. Too dazed to recognize the premonition for what it really was I went to the door.

I felt the fear through the door before I opened it. With a wave of my hand it opened on its own. "That's cool," I said as everything settled into place. My body healed and recovered rapidly as I stood there. "I could get used to this."

"On the ground now!" shouted a man from the street. From what I could tell, everybody who could see me had the same thought about me; wrong. "Whatever that disturbance was, it came from your house. You can get on the ground or I can put you there!"

I stared at him through my mask and I felt somewhat annoyed. It wasn't my fault some reality altering crystal decided I was going to be Thanos's David. I took a step forward off the porch and at the last instant I realized what the premonition was warning me about. "Motherf-" A gunshot rang out and the rest of the word went unheard.

[coristophanes]

Well this post certainly isn't going to go in the direction I had thought my first post would go when I made this account a few days ago but I told myself that this account for just kinda posting whatever comes to mind; Like a journal of sorts.

I doubt anyone will end up reading this but if you do, I do know that this could be posted privately, but my brain tells me that if it's private there's no point in writing it at all when I could just keep it in. Also I don't know how tumblr is supposed to work but I don't really care. Wow this mobile formatting bothers me. I also don't think I used the semicolon right but I care even less about that.

I'm gonna be talking about mental health and suicide so trigger warnings or whatever.

---------------------

So uh how to start. In my experience, whenever people talk about suicide or whenever it's protrayed in media, it's always a lingering thing, you know? It's always talked about like this monster looming over a person and all it takes is one particularly bad day for it to get close enough to get you. It builds and it lingers and it just always hurts. For so many that's just how it is I'm sure.

I've had my share of suicidal thoughts, they've never gone further than that but they happen. But I feel like my experience is different than the lingering monster. At least I think it is but I'm not really sure, which is part of why I feel the need to write it out. My suicidal thoughts aren't lingering, they're reactive. They happen in response to things that upset me, even just minorly.

I struggle greatly with self worth. Its not that I feel inadequate but more that I feel purposeless? I guess? I'm capable of so much, I know that I am, but I'm unable to use that. I've tried furthering my education, developing a career, going to the gym, taking care of myself better. I can never manage. It starts out strong but lose focus. School in particular was tough because the littlest fuck ups snowball. All it took was a single missed assignment to cause a domino effect leading to me literally missing 80% of all my classes and classwork.

I don't really know where I'm going with this but I think I got off topic. The littlest mistake, embarrassment, bad memory, anything, is enough to pop into my head the idea of "it would be so easy to just do ___ and have it all be over with." And then it's gone. Either I push it out or or it just leaves and I don't think about it until the next time. The thing that spurred all this on in particular is that I've spent too much money recently. Was laying in bed, thought about my spending and then just "this sucks, I suppose I could just end it." Only reason I'm thinking about it now is because I've chosen to think about it because you know... Probably not a healthy mindset to have.

But when I got to writing the first part of this post I started thinking "is this really different from the looming monster metaphor" (not my best work). Sure it's not inherently the direct nono thoughts always looming over me, but those triggering thoughts absolutely are. I find myself always needing some kind of distraction lest the thoughts creep in. I watch so much Netflix and YouTube and tiktok, etc, just to keep the thoughts from rearing their ugly lil heads. Even as we speak, or I guess as I write, I'm rewatching suits on Netflix in a little popout window on my phone (if your curious where I am, Mike just got arrested for being a fraud). Notably, I don't typically listen to music because I'm still able to empty my head when I listen to music, leaving it open for the thoughts I don't wanna deal with.

Honestly I don't know where to go with all this at this point. I'm kinda out of thoughts to write down. Uhh might see Oppenheimer next week, that'll be fun. Maybe barbie too, idk about that one though, kinda harkens back to the spending problem.

Harkens? Did I use that right? I'm gonna assume I did. I probably didn't but who cares, whats gonna happen? The nonexistent reader gonna make imaginary funny of me for harkening wrong? I think not.

This was never the intent of this account. I thought I was gonna be funny and just kinda post random 'quirky' thoughts but uhhh I do think there's gonna be more of these in the future because it felt good to get this off my chest.

Future Topics you can look forward to [or dread]:

- My emotions [or lack thereof]

- My relationship and why I think it's struggling [spoiler alert: I might be aro but I have no idea]

- Why I randomly changed from round to square brackets [I didn't feel like fixing them once I noticed]

- quirky silly goofy Minecraft Roleplay Server trauma (trauma might be a little strong but the hyperbole makes it funny.)

- Cheese probably. Idk why or when but cheese is important to me and I'm gonna discuss it eventually.

- the fact I think I have ADHD or some other neurodivegency (but you'll never catch me telling someone because I despise self diagnosis)

- hyperfixation of the week

- the fact that I accidentally went back to round brackets

- the fact that this list is way too long now but I don't really care to delete any of them but like whatever? Nobody is reading this. Probably. Like I said idk how tumblr works.

Uhhh anyway bye.

Sike I realized my about me section isn't actually made yet so breif background info I should probably put at the top but uhh fuck you.

Cori, 22, Agender(ish), Use any pronouns but if you ask me which ones I use I'll tell you they/them otherwise you'll end up using exclusively he/him and I don't want that because that is incorrect, sorry. Canadian... If that's relevant. I like purple. Big fan of Satyrs. Love D&D. Not straight but don't ask me what I am or I might have to kill you (I don't know). Fun fact: approximately 65% of the crushes I had while in pre-post-secondary school ended up realizing they're actually various flavours of transmasc (one's actually Triple A but don't worry about it).

None of this is relevant, but my episode of suits ended so I'm just kinda rambling until I can find a good point to stop typing, otherwise return of the bad thoughts. I hope tumblr posts don't have a word limit (looking at you twitter [or should I say 'X'] {I shouldn't say X, X is stupid})

Wait this is already and incoherent disaster I can just stop now.

K byeeeeeee

[whaleofatjme1920]

Creeps Dealing with a Friend that Can’t Sleep

[Warnings: Like, none?]

[AN: aha I said I was in an off season but here I am. I tried going to sleep at 10pm, it’s almost 1am. Usually I‘m awake until 2-4 in the morning but I’m attempting to sleep earlier. Lying to myself at this point. Apologies for formatting I’m on my phone. Anyways—]

Slender Man

The kind of man to give you a cup of tea and send you on your way.

The tea might be drugged. Slender doesn’t actually care about pretty much everyone but as you’re one of his favored proxies… he can make exceptions.

The way he gets you to sleep is questionable. Brings you back to your room and awkwardly leans in the doorway watching you shuffle.

If he could frown—. Wants you to be in tip top shape for work. Will get you some thing within reason if that gets you to sleep.

He might tell you Germanic fairytales if you’re really not feeling sleep at the moment.

Jeff the Killer

He will jokingly tell you “go to sleep” but man he deals with insomnia too he knows the struggle.

He might make you do push-ups. When you ask why, he says “they tire me out.”

Honestly he just stays up talking to you. He knows there’s no forcing you back down. Once you’re up, you’re up.

Once you start zoning out he might pet your head out of habit.

Doesn’t leave until you’re actually asleep. Might hang around to ensure you stay asleep and then falls asleep with you.

Eyeless Jack

At first he doesn’t actually care like, it’s not his problem lmfao. But then he’s like, nah we’re cool and tosses you a bottle of melatonin.

While waiting for that to kick in, he might actually suggest meditation! I get the feeling EJ meditates every now and then because he considers it his way of “recalibrating” from a long day or week.

He will take away your screens though just so you’re not messing with your sleep schedule anymore.

He might hum to you. He has a gorgeous voice—.

You can pet him while you fall asleep and he’ll purr like a cat lmfao. He wouldn’t afford that part of him to anyone but his best friend.

BEN Drowned

Just as clueless as you are on what to do about it lmfao. He pops through your computer and lazily smiles, asking if you’re having a hard time like him.

The two of you end up saying “no <3” to sleep and stay up watching bad TV shows.

He will get the both of you snacks! Also has a habit of giving you good warm drinks that might put you in a sleepy mood. He’s actually subtly trying to get you to sleep in his own way.

He’s like a demon/ghost/entity he doesn’t necessarily need sleep. But you’re still living a human experience so—

The two of you end up passing out on the couch together as the sun comes up. It worked—just really unorthodox.

Masky (Written more like Tim)

King of insomnia. He’ll make some hot chocolate or warm milk with honey and cinnamon and plop it down in front of you. That thing is a natural sleep aid.

He’s honestly a bit prone to cuddling. He’ll hold you in his arms, smile and put on some late night boring show to get your brain to power off.

Also lowkey might read you “go the fuck to sleep” as a joke. His voice is a tad deeper due to the exhaustion rolling off him so it kinda sounds nice.

He puts you in a really safe, sweet mood and that dampens your energy enough to actually call it a night while it’s still night.

Eventually you get Pavlov’d into thinking cigarettes mean sleepy and get sleepy at the scent of Tim.

Hoodie (Written more like Brian)

Brian has always been gifted with the ability to tune out and go to sleep. He’s had to relearn that as a proxy and sleep doesn’t come as easily to him anymore.

He knows the struggle. Ends up staying up with you and talking. Slowly moving into more boring topics to get your brain tk stop racing.

He will stop you from drinking anything caffeinated after noon. Also prone to keeping your phone away from you.

Might give you his hoodie to get you in a warm sleepy mood.

Brian might also suggest listening to podcasts or rain sounds. He likes the thunderstorm ones because they remind him of summers in alabama! But he really just stays with you the entire time until you’re asleep.

Toby

He’s the kind of guy to also say “no <3” to sleep and get up and do stuff. You tell him you can’t sleep and he’s taking you out on an adventure.

He will actually manage to tire you out by how much stuff you’re doing with him throughout the night. And it’s nothing dangerous, he’s just high energy.

Eventually, the two of you are in the backseat of the car chatting, having a nice time and he can tell you’re almost asleep.

His tone switches. He’s gentler and soft, his hand might even pet you like his sister did when he couldn’t sleep. He implements a lot of what she did to you.

And before you know it, you’re asleep in the back seat and Toby is dreading moving because he kinda likes seeing you at ease. He’ll be driving back to your residence and carrying you to your bed so you wake up somewhere comfortable.

Kate the Chaser

She’ll snuggle with you and softly speak to you. She often can’t sleep and those soft moments often help her.

Very prone to getting a book and reading that out loud to you. Sometimes it’s a murder mystery, other times it’s a magazine she got from the corner store-her voice is soothing and sweet.

Kate gets you a warm drink too. If you really can’t sleep, shel might make a midnight snack—mac and cheese is the best bet lol.

Might go onto the roof and talk with you. She’ll point out constellations and individual stars, telling you the myths that surround them. It’s really relaxing.

When she realizes you’re ready to call it a night, she’s moved you back to your bed before you even realize it.

[3mmafr0st]

Remember Me - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Bucky Barnes x Reader Word Count: 3.5k (This is the longest thing I’ve ever written in one siting I think

Next Part->

Warnings: SMUT and everything that comes with it, Talk of death and murder, violence, guns, brainwashing

A/N: I had a really good time writing this so if you want this to be a series then say so because I will! Also I had to manually space this whole thing so sorry if the format is kinda weird 

 I hated that chair. It made me forget things, made me forget him. It never worked completely, I fought too hard, fought to remember him. Our last mission was one that I would fight the hardest I ever have to remember.

The minute I walked through the threshold, I saw him. If the black muzzle-like mask identical to mine, and the darkness in his eyes wasn't enough, then the silvery left arm with a familiar red star on the shoulder similar to the one on my knee sealed the deal. My body immediately relaxed the moment I saw him, but I didn’t know why. I wracked my brain for answers to the question. What was his name? Sadly, yet another thing that I couldn’t remember. Then again, I couldn't remember my own name, never mind someone else's. He looked me in the eyes and I could feel something in his stare, but I didn’t dwell on it, instead sitting myself down next to him to prepare myself for the briefing.

The two of us settled into our hotel room. The room was nice, the standard one bedroom with a bathroom connected and an attached balcony. The balcony overlooked the street, across from a well known cafe that the target frequented. The two of us were meant to stay at the hotel until one of us got the shot, and by one of us, they meant Soldat. We weren’t told who the target was, just a face and location. I didn't know why they sent me on this mission. I did have the eyes of a hawk, which might have been why, but I had no experience with long distance killing. He, Soldat, was the expert. The two of us sat on the balcony, as he fiddled with the gun, making sure that it was just the way he wanted it. I watched the cafe, searching for the target. The two of us sat like that for a while, I was his eyes, but he was my trigger, in more than one way.  Every time my eyes would drift over to him, a memory resurfaced, another mission that we were on in the past, or fleeting moments that I didn’t quite understand. It wasn't much at all, but it was something. He surprised me when he talked first.

“How much do you remember?” I quickly checked my person and the area around me. “Don’t worry, I've already scanned the area for bugs.”

“I have bits and pieces of old missions, but that’s it, nothing solid.: I had thought about lying, telling him that I didn't remember anything to save face, but the minute I looked into his eyes, I just knew I couldn't keep anything from him. I didn't know why, but just looking at him made me want to tell every single thing about me. “What about you?”

“Maybe it's because they’ve been doing it for so long that I’ve built up a tolerance or something like that, but the last few times it's gotten weaker and weaker.” I felt something, some sort of feeling that sat in my heart that I didn’t quite understand.

“Do you want to talk about it? If you don't, I get it, but then again it's not like we have anything else to do for a while.” He took a second to gather his thoughts, longer than expected. It worried me, what happened?“It was a reconnaissance mission, the two of us were sent as a couple, two oil tycoons that had shady business dealings. The middle gets fuzzy, but I remember something happened between us and that’s why we were sent to the chair, for extra conditioning.” What the hell did ‘something’ mean? I felt my heart race, my stomach twisting in knots. This was going to be a tough mission.

It had been 4 long and strenuous days, with a regular schedule of waking up an hour before the cafe opened, and then staking out together on the balcony until closing, when we finally got to do what we wanted like eating and sleeping.

The heat of his body had become familiar to me in the past few days. I always woke up first, his arm always slung over me, having done it in his sleep, and every morning I would move the arm and get myself ready before he would wake up.

The two of us met up on the balcony as the cafe opened, and that's when I spotted him, the target.  I looked down at the photo to double check, and there was no doubt in my mind that it was him. I tapped Soldat’s knee with my metal one and pointed to the target on the ground.

“He’s here,” I whispered. Once he got a clear view of the target, I heard two almost silent puffs of air, and the man fell to the ground, dead. Although the man sitting beside me intrigued me to no end, he was terrifying at the same time. The fact that I knew the second shot was only a precautionary measure and the fact that both of us could kill each other if we tried hard enough was enough of an idea to scare the hell out of me for some reason. At the same time though, it was sort of invigorating, to have someone who gets it, who understands what I’ve been through.

“I’m going to take a shower,” He said gruffly, and quickly packed up the gun and headed off to the bathroom. I sighed, disappointed that he was in that much of a hurry to leave me. I looked out onto the chaos that was happening. The “police” had arrived, but in reality, they were false officers, agents of Hydra sent to differ and obscure the investigation like normal. The man laced dead on the pavement, and I couldn’t help but let my mind wander, who was this man, was he a good person, or bad? Did he have a family? The thoughts pushed me even deeper. Who were we anyway? When were either of us born, what are our names, do we have families?

It was all too much to bear at that moment, so I decided the best course of action would be to get in some comfortable clothes, namely the large tee shirt that was given to me as pajamas, and relax.  I slid the glass door open, the cold and dry processed air of the hotel room hit me. I pulled the shirt out of my bag and changed into just the shirt and panties. I flooded onto the bed as hard as I could, metal hitting against the wood of the bed. It was so comfortable for the time that I was alone. I spread myself out on the bed, rolling around in the blankets and for a brief moment, just enjoyed myself. The feeling of cotton sheets against my leg made me smile contently, the cool of the metal contrasting with the warmth of the bed. The whole thing made me feel like I was off in another world, the life I would have had without Hydra.

Maybe I really was in my own world, because as I rolled to lay flat on my back, and opened my eyes there he was. He simply stood at the door of the bathroom, only a towel around his body, looking at me with a masked expression, hiding any reactions he might have had.  I immediately sat upright on the side of the bed, a blush starting to creep up over my face.

“You know, if I was an enemy combatant, you would be dead right now.” His face didn’t change, but he took a step closer to me, making me want to look down. It wasn’t just the fact that he had caught me in such a vulnerable position state, it was his too. Throughout the entire mission, and any mission that I had glimpses of, he had always stayed as dressed as possible, never even taking his shirt off before bed. I could see every muscle across the wide expanse of his chest all the way down to where his hips began to create a v-shape. The sight was almost mouthwatering and I honestly didn’t know how to handle the sight. He was a good spy, he could tell that I was clearly uncomfortable. I stared harder at the ground from my seat on the side of the bed, as he stepped even further towards me, settling right in front of me.

“What’s wrong, you’re upset?” He’s slightly confused but I still hid from his gaze. I felt his hand underneath my jaw, tilting my chin up so I was forced to look up at him.

The moment his skin hit mine, images, events began to flood my brain, his smile, the two of us together laughing, our hands intertwined. His hand moved back in shock, and stepped back a little. At that moment I knew that the same thing had happened to him.

“Did you just remember too?” I nodded, and he sat down on the bed next to me, trying to process.“What did you see?”

“The two of us, old missions, I don’t quite understand” My voice caught in my throat as an idea hit me. It was a bit of a long shot, but maybe, just maybe, it could work. “What if we’re triggering each other?”

“That makes sense, but why?”

“Maybe if we do more, we’ll find out.” My voice wavered, worried that he wouldn’t agree, that he would reject the idea immediately. Instead, he simply said nothing, looking at me intensely. Slowly, his hand cupped my cheek, his eyes scanning mine for any hint of regret or hesitation. Tentatively, he leaned in, my eyes fluttering closed as our lips finally met.

It was like an explosion, our lips moulded together perfectly as images and memories began to appear in my head. We had done this before, so many times before. I grasped onto him, trying to find something to anchor me. I threaded my hands in his still-damp hair, as his arm wrapped around my waist pulling me impossibly closer. The contact made me gasp, and he deepened the kiss, our tongues dancing together as more and more visions hit me. Other missions where this exact same set of events continued to happen over and over again. It was the strongest sense of deja vu that I had ever felt.

His body began to press closer to me, pushing me down into the bed. I finally broke the kiss so I could breathe. I looked up at him, his eyes had almost lost all of their blue, leaving only dark pits behind. I quickly pulled the large tee over my head with his elf, and his eyes followed to my chest. It was like I could read his mind, and I knew what he was trying to do. Although that sounded amazing, I had a different plan in mind.

Using my superstrength,  I flipped the two of us over so he was the one lying with his legs dangled over the edge of the bed. His eyes met mine, and I couldn’t help but smirk as I raked my nails over his chest, eliciting a quiet groan from his lips. God, I never wanted him to stop making those sounds, I just wanted to make him feel good. I had no idea how the towel stayed around his waist, but it had. Kneeling down, I slowly undid the towel. It was huge to say the least. For a minute, I wondered how the hell I was going to get the whole thing in my mouth, but the minute the thought occurred, it was followed by memories of doing exactly that. I didn’t want to tease him, but I just couldn't help but enjoy the view in front of me, watch his chest heave, his body beginning to glisten with sweat, his dick resting on his stomach, going a little past his navel. The only words I could use to describe him in this very moment was perfect.

My hand rested on his stomach. I felt the muscles in his abdomen tense as my tongue hit his cock, licking one long strip up the shaft, before bringing the head into my mouth. I felt his hand wrap itself into my hair, pulling me even farther onto his dick. I slacked my jaw and hollowed my cheeks as best as possible as I slowly sank farther and farther until my nose hit the base of his dick. The groan he made as his cock hit the back of my throat made me begin to squeeze down around nothing, my panties already ruined at this point. I waited there for a minute, trying to make sure I would be ok for what happened next.

He immediately took control the minute I began to relinquish it, rutting his hips up and into my mouth, pushing my head down onto his dick. I looked up at him, watching as his head flew back, his mouth parted and groans and moans spilling from his mouth. His thrusts started shallow and slow, but began to pick up pace, as I could feel him get closer and closer, his moans louder and louder. His hips began to stutter, and I felt his cock twitch in my mouth.

“Fuck, Y/N.” His hips slammed forward into my mouth, as I felt him spilling into my mouth. I pulled myself up, and swallowed.

Y/N, I knew what it had to be, but I was still in awe and shock. I hadn’t heard that in forever.  I must have remembered some time along and told him, archived in his memories.  I couldn’t help but hope that this would help me go even deeper into my past. My name had been lost to me for so long, it was nice to finally have an inkling as to who I was.

My eyes locked with his, as he sat up, pulling me up to my feet. He wasted no time, pulling me down on the bed and rolling me on my back.

Our lips met, the kiss passionate, and yet soft and gentle. He moved lower and lower, kissing his way down my body. I closed my eyes, simply enjoying the way that his mouth felt on me, but gasped as he latched onto my nipple, swirling around the peak while rolling the other in his metal fingers. I moaned out at the different sensations, but I pulled his head up, so he could look me in the eyes.

“Please, I need you inside me,” I was out of breath, but he got the point. My body was already clenching around nothing and  couldn’t wait any longer. A smirk spread over his face, his ego starting to form, a personality that I had never seen before, but his face jogged more and more memories. His fingers trailed down to my core, trailing his fingers through, collecting my wetness in his fingers. I gasped at the feeling of finally being touched, some sort of relief.

“Fuck, doll, all this for me?”

“Only you, no one else.” My rambles were cut off, a moan ripping through my throat as he pressed down on my clit, rubbing rough circles on the bud. His hand trailed downward, and eased two fingers into me, making sure I was ready for him. He pushed in and out a few times, before pulling them out of me, taking them into his own mouth. His face looked like he was eating the best thing he’d ever tasted.

My eyes were glued to him as he began to line himself up, bringing the tip of his cock up and down my pussy, just enjoying the way he looked standing like that. Slowly, he pushed into me, easing his way in until I felt his thighs hit my ass, my legs wrapping around his hips, trying to keep him in this place as I moaned out, the feeling of being so so full filling my senses. His dick snugly hit that special spot inside of me, causing my head to spin with pleasure.

He waited until he knew that I was absolutely ok, before pulling out just as slowly as he went in, almost completely out, before quickly slamming his hips back in, making me scream out. He kept a fast and brutal pace, no longer being able to control himself.

“Fuck, I didn’t know how much I missed this, doll. You’re squeezing my cock so good.” His words only made me clamp down more, egging me on. I bit down on my lip hard, but he leaned down and began to kiss me, pulling my lip out from between my lips. He broke the kiss, settling his face near my ear. “Don’t you dare stop makin’ those noises.”

I could feel my stomach begin to tighten, the familiar knot forming in my abdomen as he kept hitting the spot inside of me perfectly. He must have noticed I was trying to hold off for him

“Cum for me doll, I’m right behind you.” His thumb pressed against my clit and I was done for, my vision going black, as my body shook under him, as I felt his cum inside of me, filling me up.

A word, a name bubbled up to the front of my tongue, overflowing and pushing its way out of my mouth. “Bucky!”

I couldn't see for a minute, my vision cloudy and hazy, but I felt him slip out of me. I whined at the empty feeling in me, as he got up and went to the bathroom. A minute later, he came back, washcloth in hand. Silently, he cleaned me up, before casting the small towel aside, settling on the bed next to me.

“I missed you,Y/N”

“I missed you too, Bucky” The name felt right, the right sounds that fit perfectly with the way he looked and acted. His face softened, as the memories of the two of us hung heavy in the air.

“I know this might be a bit far, but I hate doing this,”

“Me too, doll. I want to remember you.”

“I say when they put us in the chair this time, we fight for the memories, and next mission, we run like hell.”

“That sounds like a perfect idea”

I had thought it out coming back to the facility, how they wouldn’t be able to overpower both of us at the same time, so if we gave no indication that we could remember again, they wouldn’t have any worry. The only problem was where the hell we were supposed to go. I was pretty sure that the facility was in America, the plane that we took was over a large body of water as we came back, and all of the people at the hotel had French accents, or spoke the language. I had no clue who I was, besides my name, and my love for Bucky, but damn if I wasn’t going to find out where the hell we came from.

I was strapped down to the chair, my limbs bound in tight leather to the seat, with a piece in my mouth, and the clamps on my head. They turned the machine on, and pain shot through every part of my body. I felt the memories wanting to fade away, but I shut my eyes, trying to push myself, will myself to remember. The pain was unbearable, so instead I made myself a room. A little room in my head where I would stay with my best memories away from the pain. The room had walls and doors made out of the metal in my leg, a metal I’ve never seen anyone break. I stood in the room, going through the memories, through everything that had ever happened between Bucky and I.

Finally, the machine eased off of its power, and my body relaxed, relieved that the torture was finally over. I searched my mind, and found my little room, intact. I wanted to jump up and down, celebrate my success over the machine that had been the bane of my existence for as long as I could remember, but I couldn't. I stayed strong faced, and yet blank, as I heard the door open and out walked the man, the one they called Pierce. He was our handler.

“Mission Report”

“The two of us arrived at the hotel, we waited for four days until the target arrived, which was when we executed the mission and were extracted.” My voice was monotone and dull, the way I would sound normally after I had been fully wiped, with only memories of how to maim, kill, and spy.

“Very good, you may go to your room now, you have a new mission for tomorrow.” His words were cold, and two of the people who worked here grabbed either of my arms, leading me to the place that I was left to sleep. I looked up at the ceiling, thoughts swirling through my head, did Bucky make it out ok? What did he remember? I could help with that though, the memories would come back. But that was just a part of this. We were going to get out of this hell hole, and no one could stop us.

[caneannabelle]

ok hi guys. it’s been a while. i wrote this analysis back when Mag 187 aka Checking Out aka The One Where Helen Dies first came out and literally ever since i’ve posted it i’ve wanted to redo it because it feels. lacking. listen if there’s one thing i hate it’s incomplete media analysis and i must right my wrongs lest i be forced to look upon myself and crumble from within. that being said, i’ve been putting off this rewrite for a long long time bc Life Gets Weird. tldr this was written over the course of several months so i apologize for inconsistent quality. anyways let’s get into it!

part one: recap!

it’s been a while! let’s just go over what happened. the scene i wanna focus on in particular is this one:

VICTIM

You’ve got to help me!

ARCHIVIST

[Angrily] Don’t touch me!

[THE ARCHIVIST PULLS AWAY, AS THE VICTIM FALLS AND IS CRYING]

HELEN

Oopsie. Not so easy, is it? Keeping up your humanity?

(187).

that being said i’m gonna be kind of all over the place but! i do think that’s a good jumping off point.

part two (part one): disparaging everyone’s problematic fav

in my original post my point was that in reflexively reacting to a victim with disgust and anger jon inadvertently reveals the nature of his dedication to helping victims as ego driven, especially because this line is directly preceded by him asserting his moral high ground over helen as being a “protector” as opposed to her indulgence in destruction. what i’m saying is homeboy has a savior complex. honestly there’s a lot of evidence to support that claim but i think the most obvious example would be jordan kennedy. like.

JORDAN

…Yeah. But wrong. Sick.

What did you do to me?

ARCHIVIST

I helped you.

JORDAN

Helped me? I don’t feel right, I, I just – Ah! No I don’t – argh! I don’t want this!

(184). to be clear it’s an action with a good intent! he just wants to help someone who once helped him! BUT it also demonstrates a lack of conscious empathy. i feel like i don’t have to argue this since jordan Literally vocally said he didn’t want this several times throughout the scene but the point remains that while jon’s intent is good the actual application of his saviourism removes the autonomy of those he affects. i’m not gonna touch on the “is it objectively immoral to become an oppressor for the sake of self preservation while existing within an extreme system in which all are oppressed regardless of your individual status” query mostly because i do not have the brainpower available rn to come to my own conclusion about systems of power and the way they’re represented in tma (which is a whole other rant tbh) but jon DOES rob jordan of the ability to come to his own conclusion in this debate and make his own choice, thereby removing his autonomy. you know. autonomy. free will. the thing that is central to jon’s internal conflicts. huh.

anyways i NEED to stress that i’m not saying that he’s the same as jonah or the web or even annabelle (although annabelle is a victim. no i don’t take constructive criticism). i just want to point out that his actions reflect a lack of understanding. while he’s able to empathize with the pain others experience and is eternally hyper- aware of it he is unable to view that pain through any lense besides his own and uses it in his cycle of self pity and blame, minimizing it at any point possible in the quickest way and Not prioritizing the wishes of the victim but instead the efficiency in decreasing his own guilt. anyways back to 187- both the victim and jordan are treated as props by jon (and helen) and once they serve their purpose in reaffirming the two’s sense of self are cast aside and ignored. ok from here i’m gonna get conceptual and self indulgent bc it’s my analysis and i get to bring up vague convoluted philosophy.

part two (part two): part two

let’s talk about the distortion for a sec. i refuse to believe helen and michael were both completely gone and it was just the distortion piloting their visage, mostly because… like that’s not what the text would indicate

HELEN

Michael isn’t me. Not now.

ARCHIVIST

What happened?

HELEN

He got… distracted. Let feelings that shouldn’t have been his overwhelm me.

Lost my way.

(101). it’s heavily implied that there was SOME remainder of michael in there, even if the being wasn’t him. maybe i’m way off base here but the way i interpreted the implosion of michael was that it was driven by his inability to maintain the repressed resentment and anger he had for gertrude. like it’s pretty clear that some warped version of michael’s feelings were trapped inside of the distortion and i’d go as far as to say that they were integral to his formation as it. i’m gonna operate on the assumption that michael and helen are two separate beings here for a sec even though we know they’re not. As opposed to michael’s resentment for the archivist, helen actively sought refuge in the institute and from the small amount we saw of her Pre-Distortion it seems like her paranoia is internally directed. i think you could even say that while michael was caught in an eternal battle with the concept of connection, helen is caught in a battle with the concept of self. the point is that she thinks of jon in a less “The Archivist” sense and more as just That Guy who she had an intense connection with that one time.

ARCHIVIST

So… S-so what do you want?

HELEN

I don’t know. Helen liked you, so… there’s a lot to consider. But I will help you leave.

(101). i would also like to point out that helen’s emergence as the distortion coincides with jon coming to terms with his identity as the archivist. parallels, baby! SO helen is a newly formed being that is grappling with the concept of her own existence and jon is reevaluating his understanding of identity as he comes to terms with the fact that he is turning into the thing he’s fighting against and this is all happening at the same time. live laugh love. stay with me here, i promise i’ll get back to 187. Throughout seasons 4 and 5 helen attempts to validate her own moral decisions via jon who she once saw herself in. conversely, jon sees both an image of what he could become AND arguably a representation of his past failure in her.

ARCHIVIST

It did. I think… I mean, you remember how I was back then, how paranoid. The Not!Sasha was there, and I could sense something wasn’t right, but I just couldn’t place it. It left me a suspicious wreck. Then when Helen Richardson came in, it seemed like… she was in the same place I was, but worse, further along. I thought, maybe if I could help her, that would mean… maybe I wasn’t beyond help?

(188). helen and jon lie at opposite ends of the same spectrum. both of them derive pleasure from the suffering of others

HELEN

Oh, John! This existence can be wonderful, if you just let it.

ARCHIVIST

[Sadly] I know.

(187). needless to say that a LOT of jon's arc and the themes surrounding him focus on the concept of autonomy and addiction and i think it'd be fair to say that this component is an aspect of that. repressing these qualities is both a way of reaffirming his control and also just.. him trying to be what he perceives as Good, and season 5 is the point at which this comes to the forefront of his character- particularly the line between what is intrinsic and what he truly has control over. a battle of the concept of the self, if you will. while the two share similar traits, jon is intensely moralistic while helen indulges in a twisted sense of hedonism and both are fueled by an inability to expand their viewpoint. helen fully immerses herself within these qualities and intentionally blinds herself to any concepts of morality (indulgence), and jon actively pushes back on this as hard as he can and follows black and white moral framework (repression). this means that in order for their relationship to function he must either accept her, choosing to let go in his personal battle with autonomy OR she must break out of her worldview and conform to standards of human morality which goes against her own nature.

part three: questions i do not have the answer to

so. what does it all mean. WELL. 187 is the boiling point of all this tension. we know that helen relies on jon to validate her sense of self and we know that jon sees himself in helen, both past and present

HELEN

But that doesn’t make any sense. You barely met her. You had half an hour together, and she spent most of that ranting about mazes! She was positively delirious with paranoia!

ARCHIVIST

True. But as you’ll recall, I was pretty paranoid myself at that point.

HELEN

So what? You saw yourself in her? A sad reflection? A possible future?

(187). I’d argue that 187 is demonstrative of jon’s inability to either fall into complete indulgence in intrinsic values that lack moral validity vs. maintain and image of self that does not conflict with the values he attempts to uphold in order to find internal satisfaction and yes both of those concepts are inherently egocentric as he bases his moral judgement on what he can justify to himself instead of what can be calculated via empathy. however. paired with the alternative (helen). is that BAD. is it inherently selfish to do what you perceive as good in order to feed your own savior complex? and if so, is it inherently selfish to indulge in destructive qualities as to not delude yourself? is honesty vs deception a black and white question? if not, where does helen even fall? in not deluding herself does she achieve a moral high ground? IS she deluding herself by denying the potential to be facetiously benevolent at the detriment of both her personal enjoyment and her honesty? does helen even posses the capability to repress her violent qualities? if she doesn't, does she have any autonomy? if she and jon are both inherently selfish and intentionally resistant to introspection, what makes them different? i do not have answers but i do think the text is meant to invoke these questions. i mean,

MICHAEL (STATEMENT)

There was a great evil, she said, and Michael was going to help her fight it. Am I evil, Archivist? Is a thing evil when it simply obeys its own nature? When it embodies its nature? When that nature is created by those which revile it? Perhaps Gertrude believed so. Michael certainly did. He believed everything she told him.

(101).

part 5: conclusion

so once again. what does it all mean. well! even post helen’s death jon continues to fight for autonomy and preserve his moral worldview so. i think that probably indicates something good.

MARTIN

Huh. She couldn’t help what she was, I guess.

ARCHIVIST

She didn’t even try.

(188). i honestly don’t have a thesis i just find it incredibly interesting how the themes surrounding these two intersect and play off of each other. anyways looping back to 187 i do think in a broad sense jon killing helen is representative of him choosing to stick by his convictions and keep fighting. i don’t have any good way to end this but thanks for sticking around during my self indulgent rambling!

[whattheheehaw]

Hi! I’m sorry you’re getting shitty anons about this and you’re probably sick of it so I apologise for asking this but I’m genuinely curious what made you start actively disliking zutara? Like, considering how much excellent and insightful content/meta you yourself used to make/write? I get that interests change over time and you’re totally valid!! the anons sending you hate over it are really dumb, but if you’d be ok with sharing, I’d be really interested in hearing why you’ve done almost a complete 180 on the ship? Was is just burnout/end of a hyper-obsession? Or was it some of us in the rest of the fandom that turned you off? Or was it even something about the ship/characters themselves that you changed your mind about? xx

In short, it was a combination of burnout, dissatisfaction with fandom, and disappointment in myself that caused my disinterest for Zvtara.

I got asks similar to this one a couple of times before, but I never gave a comprehensive answer, mainly because I didn't know how to articulate my reasons why I don't like it anymore. But now that I've been out of ZK fandom for a month and have had some time to reflect, I think I can give a much more thorough response. Beware, this is long and I heavily critique the Zvtara fandom, so if you're a ZK shipper, keep reading at your own risk.

My first minor annoyance with Zvtara is that the fandom has a tendency to idolize certain fics and creators. And while there’s certainly nothing inherently wrong about that, I feel like the Zvtara fandom does it to such an extent that it influences the type of content that content creators make in order to get recognition. And to illustrate my point, I’m going to talk about one of the most famous Zvtara fics of all time: Once Around The Sun by eleventy7.

Don’t get me wrong, I love OATS. I think it’s a great fanfic and I think the author devoted a lot of time and effort to make it such an excellent fic. The plot, the development of the characters and their relationships to one other, and the messages about family and love were all brilliantly written. I mean, there is a reason why it’s regarded as the “Zvtara Bible”. This one fanfic had such a profound impact upon the ZK fandom, and I think the biggest impact that came from it is the dramatic influx of post-war Zvtara AU fanfiction. 

Because so many people kept reading OATS and recommending it to others, I think there was an overall interest in ZK fics that take place in a post-war setting. And I think that all of the high praise towards OATS made more fic writers start to write post-war fanfics because of this demand for post-war AU.* I normally wouldn't complain about it because more content is more content, but in my opinion, 99% of ZK post-war fics are the same fic but in different fonts.

Like, there's at least 3 of these elements in every ZK post-war fanfic:

Ambassador Katara

An assassination attempt (usually on Zuko's life)

A healing scene between Zuko and Katara (usually Katara heals Zuko)

Aang and/or Mai is pushed to the side or vilified to some extent in order to make ZK happen

A private journey between Zuko and Katara to facilitate #6

S L O W B U R N (that's not really slowburn and more like "I love you and I very much want to be vocal about my feelings but #7 is in this fic" but the love story takes up like 30 chapters so I guess it's a slowburn?)

Zuko's advisers don't want him to get married to Katara because ✨racism✨

Ursa is found

Azula is in the fic because a) she's going to get a healing arc ft. Zuko and Katara and thereby helps them get together or b) she's the villain and thereby helps them get together

ZK wedding happens in the FN

After reading multiple post-war fics back to back, I could tell that the format was pretty much the same across the board, which isn't very interesting for me to read. My only other fic options in the Zvtara tag on AO3 are canon divergence fics which almost always take place during The Crossroads of Destiny or after The Southern Raiders. And to some extent, those stories are pretty much the same too. There's nothing really new or creative going on in the ZK fandom fic-wise, and because of that, my interest in ZK fandom started to dwindle.

My second issue with Zvtara is that it's a very old ship from a very old show. Because there's been 10+ years since the end of A:TLA, every nuanced point about shipping and the show itself have been talked to death.** There's just nothing new to say. It's the same arguments being rehashed over and over again in the tag because there's no other interpretation one can come up with.

For example, there's so many people who talk about why Zvtara as depicted in The Southern Raiders is not toxic and that's great and all, but I (and most likely many others) have read those same points about five times already. And for some reason, each time this happens, people act like someone just discovered the lost city of Atlantis when they bring up their new-but-not-new argument in defense of Zvtara. Honestly, I'm ashamed to say that I'm not exempt from being part of the group of people that reiterate old arguments. I've done it with one of my posts about The Southern Raiders and I've done it again with my Zutara/Omashu parallels post.

There's no new content to really dissect and analyze (especially considering Zuko and Katara are rarely in the same panel in any of the post-war comics), and because of this, people are just restating points that someone else made several years ago.*** And even if someone did have a different interpretation of an episode, their ideas would most likely be shut down because for the past several years, the same interpretation has been recycled through the fandom repeatedly and people are resistant to new perspectives.

This brings me to the third thing that I dislike about Zvtara: the insistence that there can only be one way to interpret The Southern Raiders. For the longest time, I've read take after take that said if Katara decided to kill Yon Rha, it would be ok because that's her grief to deal with and if she thinks that's the best way to mete out justice, then good for her. And again, I'm ashamed to say that I perpetuated that idea in a few of my own posts. I have always thought that "Katara killing Yon Rha is ok" is just a bad take in general, but I didn't want to vocalize that opinion when so many people—so many of the nice mutuals that I made—all shared that same opinion. Taking down a popular opinion of your own ship is completely different from taking down a popular opinion of a ship that you dislike. The Zvtara fandom is the first fandom that I was actually active in and I wanted to fit in so badly with everyone else that I just parroted whatever other people said, even if I didn't agree with those sentiments.

This leads me to my final reason why I don't want to be a part of ZK fandom anymore. I think I established myself as a "meta" person pretty early on and because of that, I constantly felt pressured to come up with new takes on the ship. And when people started flooding my ask box with stuff like "Can you write a meta about your thoughts on the idea that 'Zuko only took Katara on that field trip in TSR because he wanted her to forgive him'?" and "What are your thoughts about antis saying Zuko and Katara are toxic because of TSR?", I realized that I don't need to come up with new takes. People just want me to paraphrase something that 10 other people said about the same exact topic, because if I said what I actually thought about the subject (i.e. there is some truth in what antis say about TSR and it's not as much of a "Zvtara episode" that most people make it out to be), I'd probably get ZK shippers in the replies telling me that I'm wrong because x, y, and z or "you shouldn't tag this as Zvtara".

And that was pretty much how my love for ZK turned into disinterest. I was and still am disappointed that I didn't stick to my personal opinions. For as much as I talk about herd mentality on Twitter, I certainly don't practice what I preach. In all honesty, the only reason why I held on so long to ZK fandom was because I had so many nice mutuals there and we all shared this collective distaste for antis. I think I started to become more anti-Zvkka and anti-Kataang than pro-Zvtara, which isn't what I wanted to do when I made this Tumblr blog.

The thing that made me joke about becoming anti-Zvtara was the fact that some ZK shippers just like to send shitty anons to people whom they've reblogged countless different metas from. Sending shitty anons to people in the first place is wrong, but sending them to people who tagged their posts correctly and did nothing wrong is just disgusting.

*I'm not a fic writer and can't speak for fic writers, but it definitely feels like a lot of ZK fic authors are pushing themselves to write the next OATS, and by doing so, they are proliferating the tag with post-war fics that have very similar aspects to OATS.

**I think that as more people point out the same nuanced points about Zvtara, it diminishes the actual significance of those points. Like, it's hard to explain but the more people talk about the subtleties of the ship, the more those parts become glaringly obvious and I become numb to their actual impact on the characters and the show.

***At this point, if someone wanted to make a new argument about Zvtara, I think they would have to look very closely at every little detail in every single one of their scenes together to find a crumb of new meta material. And speaking from experience, it's not very fun trying to make a mountain out of a molehill. Whenever I post a "meta" like that, I feel like I'm reaching to make a point that doesn't exist.

[meltwonu]

✨MONSTER MASH S2 INBOX ROUNDUP ✨

Sorry this went up a day late, I was busy suffering irl 😮‍💨More on that later! 

I just wanna start this by saying, thank you SO MUCH for all your support and love with Monster Mash S2! 🥺💕 It means so much to me that you guys liked it and I know the chapter warnings this year on some of them were... um, y’know, out there and I really tried to experiment with some of the fics so thank you for joining the ride with me! 💕

I’ve organized all the asks via chapter to make it easier on me and y’all! I talk about the fics for MMS2 in this, as well as alternate ideas I had for chapters and etc. Needless to say, if you HAVEN’T read the chapters, there are spoilers ahead! 

ps there was probably a cleaner way to do this inbox roundup but I've done it this way so please bear with me ☠️ lmao 

Let’s get started under the cut! 💕

chapter ➀  wrong turn ; vampire!the8 x reader

Thank you so much! 😭💕 I kinda wanted to ease into MMS2 so I thought doing a vampire fic at the beginning would be good but I was worried it’d be a slow start too tbh?? ☠️ LOL GLAD U LIKED IT THO HEHE 💕

aww thank you so much! 🥰💕 I’m recuperating now 😮‍💨 trying to get a lot of sleep in LOL I hope you enjoyed! ✨

😈 the ending didn’t originally have that in it tbh! the original ending was that minghao was going to leave you at the edge of the forest with a warning that he wouldn’t be as kind as the first time 🥴 but then I was proofreading and I was like... well hold on now, let’s get a lil crazy 😮‍💨 LOL and it also leaves the ending more open as well? bc now minghao can just be a regular 😏 

thank you guys so much! 💕😭

honestly... anytime hao has his mullet 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 got me SWEATIN!!! Like when it comes to supernatural fics, I tend to always lean on AN ODE era for visuals bc I feel like that was a solid dark era 🥴 homerun too kind of but mostly bc I loved their hairstyles a lot during that era too lol 

thank you so much ehehe~! 🥸✨

chapter ➁ turn off the light ; incubus!soonyoung x reader 

😈💕 thank you!!! Soonyoung would definitely be the type to incorporate anything and everything he can lbr!! He sees an opportunity and he takes it 😏 

chapter ➂ temporary romance ; werewolf!seungkwan x vampire!reader

HAHAHA 🤪 mine was too I think 🤔 💭 I really pushed the limits on this one hehe 💕

thank you 🥺💕 we don’t talk about dom!seungkwan enough so I thought I'd really just put the works on this one ☠️ I'm glad y’all liked it 😉 I really tried my best with the minimal knowledge I had ☠️ LOL

No but let’s get into this, I’ve never written a werewolf fic up until this one 😭 I was sooo scared it wouldn’t be good so I'm really thankful that y’all liked it because I was literally SOOO nervous to post it ☠️ but like I said in a few other replies, I really wanted to push myself this time around and I wanted to try new things so!! 😭💕 Originally it was going to be another vampire fic and I kept revising it over and over and finally when I was making the final lineup I was like, man fuck it, werewolf fucker time 😮‍💨💕 

chapter  ➃  so shy ; warlock!vernon x witch!reader 

He would literally be so serious about the lecture too 😭😮‍💨 while you’re sitting there squirming the entire time kdjdkshfks

thank you so much! 🥰💕 and yes omg, I bought the carat version of attacca for those jihoon pcs 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

chapter ➄ call me! ; shapeshifter!jeonghan x reader x joshua

🤣💕 thank you so much! this chapter was really exciting for me to write, and I hope it wasn’t too confusing for y’all to read 😭 the formatting for it changed so much because it was literally Jeonghan as Joshua and I'm ngl this one took the longest to proofread bc I kept forgetting to switch names kdjfsfkdsj and I kept deciding if I should’ve even done this concept bc even I was getting so confused but I’m glad it came out as well as it did 😳💕

🥺💕 thank you! this set of MM fics made me so nervous kdjfsfhks and I was also worried bc I seem to write a lot of Jeonghan fics with Joshua but seems like... y’all are okay with that 😏 especially when Joshua joins the dark side heheh 😈✨ I wanna try this concept a few more times, I think it was fun to write! 

thank you so much! 🥺✨

THANK YOU! 😭💕 to think this all started from me watching LOKI and an anon message about it and me going off the rails ☠️ who should jeonghan pretend to be next 😈🥴😳🤔 💭 

chapter ➅ delusion diary ; yandere!scoups x reader  

YES HE WOULD 🥴 he’d genuinely bring you to the edge of passing out and would be so smug about it 😮‍💨😵‍💫 as for yandere fics, i always try to make them non-violent as much as possible 😭😭 i’m still learning what a good balance is kjdfksdh LOL i wanna write one in the future that’s like... really spooky tbh, i didn’t push myself far enough with these bc i’m always scared y’all will be weirded out kjhdkskjh 😭 lol

chapter ➆ galipette; snake-hybrid!woozi x reader | snake eyes au

I mentioned in the notes for that one that I was inspired by a movie where the main lead had a split tongue and I remember thinking it was a little weird but then I was like.... MAN THE ORAL WOULD GO CRAZY 😩😗😵‍💫 and who else but snake eyes jihoon to get the job done right 😗 cause originally there was always going to be a snake eyes au fic for MMS2 but I just didn’t know how to remix it... the alternate plot to this was including mingyu but then I didn’t want it to be too similar to the snake eyes au fic that I had in MMS1 either lol 

chapter ➇ simon says  ; yandere!dino x reader 

YESSS YESSSSS 😩 I had this all done up and drafted before rock with you but THAT image of chan... he could do whatever he wanted to me fam 🥴

I left it open to the reader’s interpretation BUT in my head, what I was going for would be that since we don’t really see a lot of the stylists, he’d technically be pretty unknown to most people... so my thoughts were that he’d wear disguises and meet other fans of (reader) to scope them out if they were like ‘normal’ fans or obsessive fans and then depending on what he felt when he met them... he’d get rid of them if he thought they were too obsessed 😗✌️ because only he can be ykwim 🥸

chapter ➈ mistress violet ; incubus!woozi x succubus!reader  x switch!seokmin

the way I would pay for this fic to be my reality 🧍🏻‍♀️ I ask god every day KJDHFKSKJHFJ 😩 ALSO the original draft for this has seokmin as a sub only tbh... but I was like... No it’s time for switch!seokmin to RISEEEEE 😈 i also had a sub seokmin fic in MMS1 so I was like ok let’s... not do the same thing this year completely lol ☠️

chapter ➉ starlighter ; alien!wonwoo x reader 

you’re welcome 🥰💕 actually this and call me were like,,, my favorite to write kjkshfsdkj idk if it’s just cause I've never written these au’s or maybe I'm just a wh0re 🤔💭 

SOMEONE HAD TO BE THE WEIRDO 😩🤣 and the way i would pay for 2 wonwoo’s.... clones, if u will 😏 not to drag GoSe into this LOL 

imagine being in a throuple with starlighter!wonwoo 😳😵‍💫 MUCH TO THINK ABOUT.... much to want to write about in the future too 😵‍💫

chapter ➀➀ begin again ; angel!joshua x succubus!reader

the warnings on this one made me SWEAT 😮‍💨💕 I WAS SCARED DKSJFKSDHD I AIN’T NEVA WROTE ANYTHING LIKE THIS ONE BEFORE LMAO KJFSKDH I really originally did not have those warnings on this, like deadass, it was going to be more of a vanilla... well, as vanilla as a succubus fic could get ☠️ but it, in the drafts, was more of a sub!joshua fic instead... Um, needless to say it didn’t stay that way in the productions ☠️ I thought that there’d be a lot of tension so I just played it up hehe 

she said SURPRISEEEE SHAWTYYYYYYY ☠️😵‍💫 

chapter ➀➁ tell me it’s a nightmare ; multiverse!jun x reader 

OMG THAT WAS LITERALLY THE ORIGINAL DRAFT FOR THIS CHAPTER HAHA 😆 Originally, it was going to be a bunch of different Jun’s from different AUs all at once, but then I didn’t want it to come off as too similar to starlighter bc I obviously wrote that one first kjdsjdb so I just changed it to be Jun kind of glitching out into different versions of himself instead kjdskjh 😮‍💨 I thought it’d be a bit of a funny concept and I wanted to play around with it jdjjshfj

chapter ➀➌ party ‘til i die ; incubus!hhu 「scoups|wonwoo|mingyu|vernon」 x reader

IT’S LITERALLY SEOKMIN BEHAVIOUR KDJKSHKD he’s the type to do a spin and be like ‘I am the manager’ when people ask for the manager kjdskhdksjh

thank you so much 🥺💕 one of the few times a year where I let myself go really off the rails ☠️ I’m glad everyone joins in for the ride too hehe 💕💕 and yes 😈 we need the address so um... we know where to avoid going 😗😗😗😗😗

thank you so much!! 🥰💕 I am definitely resting rn LOL 

[j4ya]

Hey Jaya!

Since you're 28, I guess you have job?

So, how did you get a job

And is it the job you were trying to get, like, is it what you wanted when you were in your college years?

Sincerely,

A worried college student

Hi!!

When I got my first job, it took a lot of applications. But the first thing I told my parents after graduation was that I was taking a month off. I’d been through so much stress and everything and I told them to give me a month break and then I’d throw myself into job searching. And that really helped reset my head!

Neither my job then nor my job now align with my major but honestly most people don’t find jobs within the exact field they studied in nowadays. I did a lot of college recruiting at the companies I worked for and many are just looking to see that you completed a degree (shows you have a set of skills and ability to learn and work with others, meet a deadline, etc) and did it well, which is why I push so hard for majoring in something you’re passionate about that you’ll do well with. A higher GPA can look more impressive for the job you’re applying for than the major itself.

Also if you’re willing to relocate, your chances of finding a job you like go up 1000%. If you’re young and you can afford it (many companies give a relocation bonus too) then do it. Most people I know my age are working in a different state than they grew up in/went to school in and I don’t know anyone who fully regrets it. You learn a lot, including independence and financial management, it helps you grow up a ton.

So don’t worry about trying to find something exactly in your field. Find something you wouldn’t mind doing, especially for your first job. Something that uses your strengths and hopefully a company that’s willing to invest in you through training and such. Once you have one professional (post-college) job on your resume then that becomes the main focal point from then on, so any future jobs will focus more on your work than what you did at school. For that reason you want to find a first job that’ll really help you grow, learn to work in a professional environment, and give you diverse experiences.

Once you start looking for jobs, commit to it. Looking for work is a job in itself. You might have to submit 100s of applications — don’t let that get you down. My biggest tips would be to take advantage of any resumé help being offered, to do practice interviews so you become comfortable with it, and to stay organized.

1) Make multiple versions of your resume depending on the fields you applied for. I was applying for recruiting, analyst, and marketing roles, primarily, and I had different resumes for each of those fields. I fine tuned them to show off specific skills for each field, highlighting certain functions or leadership roles that aligned with the job. Look at examples online and play around with your formatting. Your resume for your first job shouldn’t be more than one page — most recruiters won’t even look past the first page, so only keep what’s important. But don’t forget that you can adjust margins and reduce font size to make everything fit.

1a) I can’t stand cover letters but you’ll probably need them. Look at examples to make sure it looks like you want it to and make a template that you can easily fill out for each application so you don’t have to spend too much time on it. But again, you can make specific versions depending on what kinds of jobs you’re applying for. And always proofread before you send to make sure you have the right company and job mentioned on there!!

2) Do practice interviews with anyone you can. You need to become familiar with the pressure and situation. Get your family, friends, professors, counselors, anyone that’s willing to help to do it. Before you sit down for an interview, write out all the questions you think they might ask and practice your responses!! This really helps! It’ll make you sound more confident and prepared as well. Also always have at least one question to ask the recruiter. Ask them about what they like about the company, or what challenges they’ve faced and overcome in their role, something like that.

2a) I know this seems obvious but dress up for the interviews, even if it’s remote. It shows that you’re putting in effort. If you’re remote then make sure you have good lighting & a plain/non-distracting background. Keep your phone on silent and stay engaged when they’re speaking.

3) Make a spreadsheet to keep track of where you applied, when you did it, who you talked to, etc. Track which resume/cover letter you used as well and what kind of job it is. ALWAYS SEND A THANK YOU EMAIL RIGHT AFTER THE INTERVIEW. This makes an impression and keeps you on their mind. When it comes to following up, I think a week is a decent time to send an email out. If you don’t get a reply then, send another follow up in a couple weeks. Past that if they don’t reply (sucky of them tbh) then I’d assume you didn’t get the job. But that’s fine! Keep going at it!

3a) Don’t be afraid to fight for your pay. It can be really anxiety inducing and stressful but especially if you see a similar job pay more than the job you’re applying for, you have every right to request more pay. DON’T say yes to the first salary offered — that was a mistake I made. It never hurts to give a higher salary request, you’ll almost always get an offer higher than what they initially started with.

Lastly, don’t be disheartened. Just because you didn’t get a job doesn’t mean you won’t get a similar one or another one within the same company. Honestly I used to just sit and apply for every open relevant position in a company if the company was good because that makes a big difference. Keep your morale up. It never hurts to apply, even if you’re underqualified. You never know. Be confident in your skills!

And I’ll also say, this may not be something everyone can find or be picky about, but if you can find a job that has good benefits, if the company is great, go for it. Put as much as you can into your retirement — if you can, commit to the max percentage, especially if your company matches your contribution. If they give you insurance, take advantage of it. Go for dental and vision checkups, visit your doctor. Don’t put this off until you lose it. Take advantage of EVERYTHING your company offers. Trainings, expos, employee groups, etc. These all help develop your professional experience.

I hope this helps!!

Please don’t hesitate to ask if you have any other questions! Good luck & I believe in you!!

[ihatetaxes99]

A Brief Retrospective Look At MVA (In The Anime)

Well. Here we are. Every end of the time is another begun. After what has felt like years of anticipation (mostly because it actually has been years), My Villain Academia has been fully animated. Well, "fully" may be the wrong word here, but that's something I'll get into later.

To honour the end of the arc, I decided to do two things: One, I re-read the entirety of the arc in the manga all in one sitting; Two, I rewatched all five episodes of the anime's adaptation back to back once again. My life is pain and I know not of sleep. Anyway, the reason I did this is because of a little project I proposed to myself back just before the first episode aired; Once MVA was done and dusted, I would go back and give my own retrospective on the whole thing. Because why the hell not, sounds like fun. This will also hopefully be less emotional than my thoughts I shared as the episodes were still airing, but who knows?

So, let's begin. And I wish to start by stating that My Villain Academia is my absolute favourite arc in the manga. It did a lot of things right. It focused entirely on my favourite faction, the villains. It offers a glimpse into their lives and goes a long way in humanising them, particularly Spinner and Shigaraki. It sets up key points for others too, such as Mr. Compress' habit of thinking more about the bigger picture than the others, which would factor into his major reveal during the Paranormal Liberation War and of course the formation of the Front itself. It introduced us to Rikiya Yotsubashi, one of my favourite characters in the manga, even if he honestly peaked in this arc and was never as good again. And it gave us a large-scale, grueling fight for supremacy in which I found myself actively rooting for the League. It is, in my mind, the very best of BNHA, the only arc I would want them to do well in the anime. They could screw up literally everything else and I would be happy if MVA was even just as good as the manga, it didn't even need to be better. I would have been delighted to have an excuse to experience the arc all over again, seeing my favourite moments with the sublime soundtrack and voice acting.

Yeah… 

But before I get to that, let us take a little trip of sorts down memory lane to see the road to MVA, what led to it. So, 2021 rolls around. What a fun year. It's just 2020 without the excitement of everything being so uncertain, and frankly it's been really fucking boring as a year. However, BNHA Season Five was announced. In February, we get the first trailer for the upcoming season. It's... It's fine. Obviously, it focuses heavily on the Joint Training Arc (in fact, that is all it shows) and although I despise that arc with a passion, it's not too bad. I had not watched the anime since Overhaul ended, so my plan was I just wouldn't watch JTA and would wait until the big attraction, MVA. And so, Joint Training starts. And it goes on. And on. And on. I checked back almost two months later to discover it still wasn't over yet. Now I found this odd. Joint Training Arc was horrible for many reasons, but the big one was that it dragged on for so long as a result of Horikoshi's health complications, which is by no means his fault. But, surely the anime, which would consistently release on a weekly basis, wouldn't have the issues associated with this. Episodes of BNHA have always encompassed around three to five chapters, and Joint Training's were shorter than usual, so why was it taking more than ten episodes to adapt it? 

Very strange, but I didn't question it much. Then, the key visuals released, confirming that MVA was at the very least happening. Great, wonderful. I love it. We've got the whole gang there, seeming like they're in Deika, looks pretty good.

Wait, did I say whole gang? Yeah, my bad, there was someone missing. Spinner. Now, I am not the biggest Spinner fan so I wasn't prepared to riot over his exclusion like I would have been if Compress wasn't in it. But this was starting to get strange. Spinner was the main narrator of MVA. Even if his importance was not on the level of Shigaraki, Twice and Toga, it was certainly more than Dabi and Compress, who did both appear in the art. Why was he excluded? Obviously, I bet you're all having a good old chuckle to yourselves right now because in retrospect, this makes perfect sense now.

Alright, then. I heard from a friend around June time that Joint Training was finally over. Awesome, great, time for the good stuff- why is there a Christmas episode here?

Yes, this was probably what really started to get the alarm bells in my mind going. The Christmas episode- in June. Very, very strange. Also, absolutely no mention of Rikiya, which even if they were reshuffling things, I would have expected him to appear in the episode of Bakugo and Todoroki getting their licenses, since it directly ties in. Concern levels rising, I shrugged it off and waited for next week.

Bam. Major reshuffling. Now, Endeavour Agency comes first, fuck you if you want context for who the hell the PLF are or the significance of Destro's memoirs. This was really starting to worry me now. I told myself that the key visual meant that MVA had to be happening, but it was starting to seem like the villains were being shafted. A fact not helped by the new OP.

Look, I'm sorry. I don't mean to complain or whine, but season five's second OP is just bad. The music is fine, I have no problem there. But the visuals are just awful. Not only is there an extended focus on that stupid bloody trio of Midoriya, Bakugo and Todoroki, not only is there more screentime given to characters who don't appear in MVA or EA than the main cast of the former, but the animation itself is just so stiff and lacking. It had potential, but the visuals are the worst out of any recent anime opening I've seen in a good few years and this was what got me really panicking.

Boom, a beach episode smack in the middle of Endeavour Agency to promote the upcoming movie. Boom, adapting two chapters per episode during EA. Boom, the Shirakumo episode, which I always thought was part of the War Arc and not EA. But finally, mercifully, the title leaks came and it was revealed that episode 20 of season five would be the start of MVA.

20. Out of 25. And it was pretty obvious that they weren't going to end the season with MVA, so really, up to 24. Ohhh no…

But hey, I'm an optimist sometimes. I was excited to just finally be clear of all this nonsense and get to the real good stuff. Hell, in preparation, I watched the entirety of the season up to that point. I finally realised why JTA took so long and it's one of the most depressing things I've ever learned, in a bad way. Were all those flashbacks really necessary? EA was okay, as someone who as a manga reader, already had the necessary context for the PLF stuff. The beach episode, I watched half of, got too bored and skipped the rest of. And you know what, I liked the Shirakumo chapters. They weren't as good in the anime, but it was nice to see.

And then, finally, in comes episode one of My Villain Academia, on a cold, dark August morning. I even bought Crunchyroll Premium to watch it as soon as possible, I was excited. All the messing around, all the crap, it was finally over and the time had come to enjoy what this season was really all about.

I can now safely say why Bones kept pushing back MVA, because if I was them, I would be embarrassed to show this.

No, that's not fair. I promised I wouldn't get too snarky, so let's reek things back in. As a whole, MVA has been… fine. Just fine. Not good enough to justify the bullshit, but not horrendous (mostly.) In fact, right now, I'll give a ranking of the episodes, my worst to best:

5) Episode One 

4) Episode Two

3) Episode Three

2) Episode Five

1) Episode Four

Yeah. So, there's a clear pattern here, that things more or less got better as time went on. From just straight up bad, to still not great, to alright, to the final two episodes being what I would comfortably call good. This is not a good look. I'm sorry, but Episode One, an episode that I just called bad, is still one of the season's best in spite of that. That spells out awful things for this season as a whole. But what exactly made this such a disaster?

Well, cut content is the big thing. MVA in the anime cuts out:

The League's battle with the CRC

Their struggle with poverty

The sushi joke setup

All of Spinner's character

All of Rikiya's character, including most mentions of Detnerat and Miyashita

Fairly integral pieces of Skeptic's character

Most of Giran's integrity and bravery

This doesn't look too bad at first. It could be far worse. We got basically everything else from the arc, so what? Well, I would already be annoyed about all of these cuts, but the issue is that they cause a knock on effect. Without the establishment of the League's poverty, the payoff of Toga's duffle coat now makes no sense. Without the setup of Spinner's characterisation, his battle with Hanabata now feels hollow. Rikiya's surrender to the League now makes even less sense, as his love of human life and desire to cause no more death is completely non-existent. The first time Rikiya being a CEO is mentioned is in the closing minutes of the arc. The sushi scene is hamfisted into a two second flashback just so that the payoff makes some sort of sense, but again, it is hollow without it being at the start (this is also the first mention of the League's poverty and it literally happens just as they are freed from it.) Can you see how these little seemingly unimportant cuts spiral into bigger problems? I would have been pissed even if they hadn't caused some tremendous cascades, but the fact that they did just makes this from a subjective issue to an objective one.

Yes. They did some things well. Toga's backstory is mostly intact, SMP is just as satisfying as the manga, Tenko's backstory is one of the best things the anime has ever done, the awakening is very well done, I adore the PLF formation as much as I did in the manga. Everything important is intact, but as I keep saying, you cannot just keep the bare minimum and expect it to work. How about in the next arc, they decide to cut everything involving Bakugo out, and only keep him jumping in front of Midoriya because it's the only absolutely necessary thing he does in the arc? People would be pissed, and it's the same thing that's happening here. It's a problem, it's not just a bad adaptation, it leads to bad storytelling in general.

The animation. Now, I do not believe this is a be all, end all. BNHA's anime is never going to look as gorgeous as Horikoshi's art, that is a fact and I do not begrudge them for that. They have a week to draw hundreds upon hundreds of frames, it's not a process that lends itself well to good looks and the animators and artists do their best with what they have. This does not change the fact that it is extremely hit or miss. Some things, Tenko's backstory in particular, look fantastic. Other things, mostly every action scene, make me laugh at how bad they can look and some things, particularly Twice and Re-Destro's hideous designs in the anime, make me cringe. The lighting is also an issue. Garaki's lab looked fantastic, but every other scene is just boring mid-afternoon with dull, basic lighting. I don't expect huge detail, but sometimes, it fails to achieve competency and as an extremely popular show, I don't think that's okay. I don't blame the animators, I blame the higher ups. And while I wouldn't mind the poor animation and art in an MVA that at least has all the story content, this does not have that and so I am even harsher than I would have been.

MVA was rushed. That's not up for debate. It took forever to get to it and once it came, things moved so quickly that they gave me whiplash, with no time to think or lament. Now, this could be attributed to the story structure of the arc, which is essentially a series of big fights, and it just isn't as bad in the manga because I can stop at any time to catch my breath. But I think it's worth noting that the anime at least highlights these issues. Curious dies in the same episode where she first appears, really driving home how pointless she was in the end. Episode Two alone tries to cover everything from the journey to Deika up until Jin finding Toga's body. That's a lot of content to fit in one twenty minute period and it was bound to feel messy in the end. I will say that, much like everything aside from the animation, this did get better as time went on, with episodes three, four and five adapting more reasonable amounts of content, compared to one giving us almost nothing and two giving us too much.

At the end of the day, that was it. The show's over. MVA has been closed in the anime. It will never be given a chance to improve, to go from just fine to anything even close to the manga. Why did this happen? I don't think we'll ever truly know. Some blame the new movie, others the studio's lack of faith in the villains, and there are those who say that it's just how fate turned out. I personally think it's a combination of all of these things. Without the movie, that beach episode wouldn't exist, giving more time to MVA, without the studio's hesitation, we'd perhaps get stuff like an actual good OP and perhaps some more general hype for it (I mean, MVA didn't even get a trailer.) Whatever the reason is, we got what we got. My verdict is something that's very overplayed as of late, but seriously, just read the manga with the fantastic soundtrack playing in the background. The anime's adaptation of MVA is not worth the time investment, when you could read the manga in roughly the same length of time and get more content, a more coherent plot and beautiful artwork.

So, what may come next for Season Six? I don't know. Season Five has definitely been one of the most unpopular seasons in the anime, with a lot of people speaking out against it, but this mostly seems to come from the Western fanbase, so it's up in the air if Bones will learn from their mistakes. Since they'll have a full season to do presumably the War and Rouge Deku arcs, then I feel like they'll put on a better show. But we just don't know. Spinner had his spotlight stolen this time around, will Compress suffer the same fate in Season Six? Dabi and Toga will probably be handled well, since they have inexplicably high amounts of popularity, but with his own lack of recognition rivalling Spinner's, I can see Sako ending up much the same way. Time will tell, I suppose.

[gunterfan1992]

Episode Review: ‘Obsidian’ (Distant Lands, Ep. 2)

Airdate: November 19, 2020

Story by: Jack Pendarvis, and Kate Tsang, Adam Muto, & Hanna K. Nyström

Storyboarded by: Hanna K Nyström, Anna Syvertsson, Iggy Craig, Mickey Quinn, Maya Petersen, James Campbell, & Ashlyn Anstee

Directed by: Miki Brewster (supervising), Sandra Lee (art)

Of all the many colorful characters in Adventure Time perhaps none has a more elaborate backstory than Marceline the Vampire Queen. In many ways, Marceline really was the writers’ gold goose, engendering complex story after complex story. By the time the series ended, the vampire’s life had in more ways than one been woven into the very fabric of the show’s mythology.

But because I am a Marceline fanboy—whose zeal for her majesty is rivaled perhaps only by Glassboy himself—I always felt like the show could have done even more with her backstory; I mean, when the series finale aired, there were still plenty of questions that had yet to be answered (What happened to her mom? What is Simon going to do now that he’s “cured”? How did Marcy and Bubblegum meet? Were they romantically involved before the events of the main series? How did it all go south?). Nevertheless, when "Island Song” played for the last time at the end of “Come Along with Me,” I forced myself to push aside this minor, fannish grievance and applaud the show for writing such an excellent character. I didn’t need for every last detail of her life to be explicitly shown on screen. I was happy.

But then, about a year ago, news dropped that one of the Distant Lands specials would really delve into the history of Marceline and Bubblegum’s relationship. In an instant, I tossed my stoic “I-am-satisified-with-what-I-received” mentality right out the window. We were going to get another Marceline episode, and it was going to dive back into her elaborate backstory!?! I could barely contain my excitement as I waited for the episode to drop.

Well, was my excitement worth it? Or was “Obsidian” a big ol’ let down—a tragic victim to grandiose expectations that were never meant to be fulfilled?

I’m quite happy to say that not only was “Obsidian” a remarkable special in its own right, but it is arguably one of the strongest episodes of Adventure Time, period.

The plot of this episode is fairly standard, as far as Adventure Time episodes go: Glassboy (a new character voiced by Michaela Dietz, the voice of Amethyst from Steven Universe) accidentally sets a giant fire monster named Molto Larvo loose on the Glass Kingdom, and Marceline and Bubblegum—who we learn have been living their best cottagecore life together in Marcy’s cavehouse—are forced to save the day. But the series’ writers take this otherwise quotidian adventure idea—a story which, at least on paper, could have easily fit in during any of the show’s many seasons—and employ it as something of a Trojan Horse, using it as a pretense to delve into both Marcy’s traumatic childhood and her and Bubblegum’s romantic history. And, boy, is it a ride!

With regard to the former story thread, the audience learns that sometime after the Mushroom Bomb detonated, Marceline and her mother, Elise (voiced this time not by Rebecca Sugar, but by actress Erica Luttrell, who played Sapphire in Steven Universe), roamed the wastelands in search of shelter; after Marceline’s mother came down with some sort of sickness, she sent Marceline to be on her own. Elise was hoping that this would spare Marcy the trauma of seeing her mother die before her very eyes, but due to some communication issues, Marceline never learned what became of her mother. As such, Marceline began blaming herself for “leaving” her mom to die in the wreckage of the world. This plot thread is perhaps one of the bleakest that Adventure Time has ever explored, and the show does it masterfully, balancing the darkness (e.g., Marceline’s mother coughing up blood) with bright spots of comedy (e.g., the "wazzup” dog) that never feel distasteful.

Likewise, when it comes to the story thread about Marcy and Bubblegum’s romantic history, the special does not hold back. We get to see “Bubbline” at its best and its worst. I have a feeling that the word “fan service” is going to be used by a lot of folks when talking about this episode. As the AV Club writer William Hughes notes, this word is usually hurled around like a pejorative, but it aptly describes the appeal of “Obsidian”. After all, this episode really is “fan service at its finest”—not only does it give the ravenous shippers the story tidbits that they have so long to see (e.g., the moment Marcy gave Bubblegum her rock shirt, Bubbline’s epic break-up), but—and this is very important—it does so in a way that is fundamentally meaningful. “Obsidian” does not feel self-indulgent, unnecessary, or pandering. On the contrary, it is overflowing with deep emotion that allows us to better understand how Bubblegum and Marceline really feel about one another. Sure, over the centuries that the two gals have bummed around Ooo, they have bickered and fought, but deep down, their love is passionate. In many ways, it is like the titular obsidian, which means that nothing short of an enchanted diamond pickax is strong enough to break Bubbline apart for good.

(It’s also quite nice that after seasons and seasons of tip-toeing around the question of Marceline and Bubblegum’s sexuality, “Obsidian” can explicitly focus on their life together, showing the two characters cuddling, kissing, and dancing. In terms of LGBTQ+ representation, it’s a huge leap forward, and I’m so happy that Adventure Time has had a part to play in normalizing queer relationships!)

Marceline episodes almost always featured a catchy diddy, but "Obsidian” really cranks things up to 11 by featuring a whole bevy of catchy songs, several of which are perhaps among the show’s strongest. The first right banger, “It’s Funny,” is the song that plays over the special’s credits. With a grunge-meets-riot grrrl feels, this track really sets the tone for the episode, signaling to the audience that we’re in for, as Lumpy Space Princess once put it, some “drama bombs.” The next standout is “Woke Up,” a brutally honest diss track that Marceline used both to contain Molto Larvo and break up with Princess Bubblegum centuries prior to the start of this episode. This song was written by pop rocker Zuzu, and it—as the kids say—slaps. Layers of fuzzed-out guitar and digitally processed vocals are used expertly to sell Marceline’s emotions and convey how, on the surface, she’s delighted to no longer be under Bubblegum’s romantic spell... even if her heart may not be so sure.

But arguably, the musical jewel of the entire special is “Monster,” a somber ballad that Marceline sings to Bubblegum when they find themselves trapped in the collapsing furnace and are facing what they believe is certain death. Written by indie pop artist Half Shy, this song is, in many ways, something of the inverse of “Woke Up”: soft, happy, and filled to the brim with a sort of love that few are lucky to receive and even fewer can honestly express. Not only does “Monster” finally cement Marceline’s real, visceral love for Bubblegum in song form (remember: almost every prior Bubbline song was either indirect or delivered by an angsty, heartbroken Marceline), but it also “tames” Molto Larvo, allowing him to metamorphose into a strange but harmless cat-butterfly critter. Just like “Come Along with Me,” “Obsidian” proves that the power of love and music will save us in the end—if not physically, then at least emotionally.

Regarding the production-side of things, there’s a lot of praise to doll out. First off, the look and style of “Obsidian” is gorgeous. While “BMO” opted to experiment somewhat with the classic Adventure Time art style, trading cel shading for an almost watercolor feel, “Obsidian” echoes the aesthetic of the original series. That said, there’s an undeniable animation bump—likely courtesy of that sweet, sweet HBO money—that lets Ooo and its denizens shine in all their glory. You can tell that Adam Muto, art director Sandra Lee, supervising director Miki Brewster, and all the members of the production staff really went above and beyond the call of duty. The episode's soundtrack, composed by Amanda Jones, as deserves a shout-out. Jones did an excellent job mixing the chiptune style of the original series with a bass-heavy rock sound that highlights Marceline’s starring role. Bravo!

As another production aside, I should point out that CN/HBO’s decision to make these specials each 44 minutes was the right call. The 11 minute format of the original series often left something to be desired when it came to plot development, as many an important episode was forced to end somewhat prematurely due to time constraints; conversely, the 8-episode miniseries format that the show experimented with during its latter days sometimes felt like too much time (Stakes, Islands, and Elements all had whole episodes that felt like nothing more than the show treading water). The length of “Obsidian”, however, was just right, giving us plenty of time to take in what was happening without ever feeling like it was dragging.

A final aspect of this episode that is worth mention is its many call-backs to previous episodes and characters. “BMO” was mostly a self-contained story that, due to its nature as a prequel in space, really couldn’t reference the Land of Ooo without feeling forced. “Obsidian,” however, throws in everything and the kitchen sink (Adventure Time superfan and all-around cool person Jagm has collected most of them here for those of you who want to see everything laid out nicely). Stand-outs for me include Choose Goose (someone who we really haven’t seen since season five) smuggling sketchy products into the Candy Kingdom, post-Ice King Simon trying his hand at open mic nights, Bronwyn as an adventurous hero, and Finn the (Adult!) Human complete with beard and scars! Of note, Jake does not appear in this episode, except as a tattoo on Finn’s chest. Many in the fandom are now speculating that the events of “Obsidian” take place after our beloved shapeshifting dog’s death. Oh say it ain’t so! Perhaps we’ll learn more in “Together Again.”

Mushroom War Evidence: Unlike “BMO,” which directly referenced the Mushroom War and its fallout (both literally and figuratively), this episode returned to the show’s roots by featuring gobs of explicit hints in throw-away lines or elaborate background pieces. Honestly, there is far too many to list here in a pithy paragraph, but some major references include: the reveal that the Glass Kingdom, like the Fire Kingdom, was created by ‘magic’ blaze from the heavens (almost certainly a nuke); the fact that Marceline and her mother wandered for a time in the debris-filled wastelands following the apocalypse; and the reveal that Marceline spent at least part of her childhood holed up in a bomb shelter surrounded by the bones of myriad dead humans. Honestly, while references to the Mushroom War have always been sad footnotes to an otherwise cheery show; in this episode, however, the references are very graphic, illustrating the sorrow and horror of mutagenic war.

Final Grade: As I said earlier, I’m a Marcy fanboy, so I’m horrible biased, but I don’t care. This episode rocked. Q.E.D.

[silvysartfulness]

I got tagged by @ameliarating and @veliseraptor to do this writer meme thing!

How many works do you have on AO3?

Six. I only started posting fic on AO3 last year. Before that, many long years ago, I used my own websites and LiveJounal.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

177481. The absolute majority of which is of course Heaven Has A Road.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

On AO3, only The Untamed.

But before that, I've written for Disney Afternoon's Aladdin, Slayers, Kingdom Hearts, Assassin's Creed, and one-shot fics for my own original verses as well as my friends'.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Heaven Has A Road But No One Walks It at 1194, unsurprisingly. It's my magnum opus on AO3.

Blanket Statement at 302. The first fic I wrote for the Untamed, and the first thing I posted on AO3 (Thank you, Lise, for holding my hand and walking me through it!)

And To Many More at 169

High Noon In Deserted City at 96, which is sort of funny, since it's just a picture and about 1000 words. But the premise is fun! Still hoping for some hungry writer to adopt it and write something for it. :)

Self-Inflicted at 75.

Which checks out, I guess – the longest fic with the most readers comes first, then the fluff, then the funny and finally the angsty and fucked up. XD

I still suspect The Plotbunny of Doom / The Renegades for Kingdom Hearts would score as my all time highest, though, if LJ likes and comments translated to the AO3 format. That fic took me and two friends three whole years to write together, was 104 chapters long and over 300k.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I really try! Comments mean everything to me, and I want to reply to them all! But when I'm low on spoons (which is unfortunately often) I fall hopelessly behind, and then the catching up becomes an impossible-looking chore in and of itself.

I should really set some time aside every day to catch up on the last few chapters' worth of comments... I do love the interaction and discussion a good comment can spawn!

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hm... I write a ton of angst, but only a few actually have sad endings. I'd say Eaten counts, as does Self-Inflicted, I guess. TPBoD had a very open ending that was still definitely on the somewhat hopeless side.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Mm, it's not usually my favourite genre (though I mean, the whole Kingdom Hearts verse is a crossover in and of itself) but it depends a lot on the source material. I guess TPBoD might soft-count, since we tossed in a bunch of non-canon references with all the world-jumping.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not as such? Oh yeah, I do recall getting a very upset comment on a non-con fic I wrote back in the KH days, by someone who couldn't conceive how you could claim to love a character and then write such horrible things happening to them. But you get those occasionally. Look, crushing my favourite characters is therapy. Doesn't mean I don't love them.

The Russian fandom are loudly aggressive in their comments on some chapters of Heaven Has A Road, but that's more focused on the characters, not me personally.

On the whole, I've been pretty spared. But then, there's little point in sending hate; I just block.

Do you write smut? if so what kind?

Oh, absolutely. Haven't really gotten to that point in the posted chapters of Heaven Has A Road yet, but we're about to unleash it aplenty in the upcoming ones.

What kind? Most kinds, I guess? Soft and fluffy, aggressive and snarly, consensual, dubcon, non-con. Mostly mlm but I've written het, too. Can't remember if I've written wlw, but I've certainly headcanoned/drawn it. A bit of kink is nice.

I prefer focusing on the chemistry and sensations when I write porn, rather than detailed physical smacking and squelching and body fluids, but that's just my personal preference and writing style.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of? Not that I can remember? I have my art stolen regularly, and I've had my online identity stolen, but I don't think anyone's stolen anything I've written...

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Heaven Has A Road is being translated into Russian, and I'm insanely honoured and flattered!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes – TPBoD aka The Plot Bunny of Doom, aka The Renegades, for Kingdom Hearts. I wrote it over ten years ago together with a friend and my now wife. It was a monster of a fic, I think about 320k, and the fact that we were three people helping and pushing and encouraging each other really helped keep it going!

I don't know if I would have the focus for something like it now, but it was an amazing experience I'll always treasure.

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Oh man, that changes with each hyperfixation... I may have to say Marluxia/Vexen for Kingdom Hearts, simply because it's a ship that's been around in my life for so long. I still occasionally go back to read favourite bits of the fics I wrote for them, including TPBoD.

Currently it's SongXueXiao from The Untamed, of course, and a very strong contender overall! I've dabbled a bit in poly ships before, but this is the first time I have one as my main, and I'm love them.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Uh. I don’t really have any? Because of my burnout-brain, I can only really focus on one major project at a time, and that's currently heaven has A Road. And I'm really, really hoping I will be able to finish it!

It's all plotted out, I just need to write the stupid thing. Working on it.

What are your writing strengths?

Hm, I'd say that I've developed a voice/prose over the years that I'm actually quite happy with! And I'm good at conveying/invoking emotion, if going solely by how many people comment that I've made them cry. :D

I enjoy writing dialogue, and I love working with layers of symbolism.

What are your writing weaknesses?

The actual writing process. 🙄 I'm extremely uneven and unstructured in getting the actual words down. Also convoluted and inflated text at times - sometimes I write a lot of words without actually saying anything. And English is my second language, so just nailing the correct phrasing and grammar can be a headache at times.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If it impacts the plot – like the POV character not understanding it, then maybe. And using terms that can't be translated, absolutely! Other than that, there's little point in making a text harder for the reader to grasp by tossing in whole sections in another language for clout. Is my personal view, at least, of course other writers may disagree.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

My first online fandom that I wrote fic for was Disney Afternoon's Aladdin show. Before that, I wrote original fic. And before that, before the internet was A Thing, I'd write and draw for stories that captivated me, just for my own entertainment. If you count that, I'd probably say Phantom of the Opera was my first – I had a whole ”everyone is a horse because that's what I know how to draw” AU when I was about 10 or so, that I'd draw lots of pictures for. When I was even younger, I used to make up stories for my younger brothers, based on movies and series we had watched together. I've always been a storyteller, one way or another, if only in my own head. I wouldn't know how not to.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I would have to say Heaven Has A Road, even though it's still unfinished. It's the first work of that sheer scope I have ever attempted by myself, and I'm honestly insanely proud of myself for what I have accomplished already!

Second would be TPBoD – The Renegades. Even though that was a shared effort, it's a very long fic that we managed to bring all the way to its intended conclusion, and I'm very proud of that, too!

Plus there are bits of both these fics I really like, and that I will go back and read for my own enjoyment occasionally.

tagging: @orodrethsgeek, @ebonykain, @fromaliminalspace, @chigrima, @soawen

[chofitia]

Fic Review

Tagged by the incomparable @jukeboxhound​

(This got very long. See you all under the cut.)

How many works do you have on ao3? 29

What’s your total ao3 word count? 54,129

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Compilation of FFVII / FFVII Remake

G.I. Joe (cartoon) (the outlier that was because of a request)

Final Fantasy XV

Juuni Kokki / Twelve Kingdoms

Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika / Puella Magi Madoka Magica (does this count if it’s just a crossover?)

Taishou Yakyuu Musume

人渣反派自救系统 / The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System

Are there any new fandoms you want to write for? I have something that I kind of want to do for MDZS? There’s also some work I’d like to do with TGCF, but it’s a visual thing. Honestly, I’d just like to be freer to write for myself and to write more regularly. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

To Say Nothing of the Cat

What We Do Behind the Scenes

Upgrade(s)

Fleet-Footed Lion

Acquisition

I’m honestly surprised that the Explicit-rated fic (”What We Do...”) wasn’t first. Mainly because I remember more kudos alerts for it than “To Say Nothing...” Then again, I wrote in FFXV while it was the New Hotness and “What We Do...” was written several years into the Remake drought. Which of your fics do you want more attention for? All of them because I’m dependent on the validation of other people.

But seriously, “Honor Among..” because I want people to get into Mercverse.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not? Yes. Most of my comments come in ones or twos, and I tend to have a set format for them:

Thank you for reading! [Anecdote(s) on the writing/creation of item(s) mentioned in the comment.] Thanks again for reading!

What sorts of things do you normally write? Slow burn? Humor? Angst with a happy ending? Some adventure? Emotionally loaded conversations? AUs and slice of life in which the main conflicts of the canon are ignored in favor of more mundane problems.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? “Source“, I guess? (Being Meguka is suffering. Being Cloud is also suffering.) I did write some cynical edgelord shit back at the turn of the century that was basically “things suck and I know that they suck because I am better than everyone else and I’m not going to do anything about it because I can’t change anything.”

What’s a fic that pushed you out of your comfort zone?

Pretty much any fic that I’ve written for an exchange, for various reasons. My top two are:

“What We Do Behind the Scenes” - It’s explicit. I don’t have a lot of experience writing explicit fic.  

“Honor Among...” - I want to write something with a plot! And it has to be a scholarly critique of social stratification and well-intentioned people with privilege. And a mystery with foreshadowing and red herrings and reread bonuses. And it has to be the best thing I’ve ever written in my life. I should get a beta. Oh, so you think I should make some adjustments, beta? My rejection hyper sensitivity says that means that I should never write anything again.   

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

The only crossover I have is “Source”. I’ve thrown some ideas around for some fusions, but nothing I’ve completed.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. I’m not holding my breath, to be honest.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Sort of? They’ve all failed at different points of the planning:

1. I RP with someone and I promise to write a story based on the RP. I never write it.

2. I RP with someone and I promise to write a story based on the RP. I write it, but keep it under friends-lock because I felt uncomfortable centering my OCs in anything set for public consumption.

3. Someone includes a cameo of one of my OCs in their fic. I write fic of the fic from the OC’s POV. (This incident happened before situations 1 and 2.) The author previews my work for continuity and general cheerleading. I never finish the (multi-chaper) fic.

4. Someone asks me to work on a fic together with them. I accept. We brainstorm. I show my complete ass and get called out on it. The person decides that it wouldn’t be a good idea to work together. I never bring it up again because I don’t want to remind them of how ignorant I am.

5. Someone asks me to work on a fic together with them. I accept. We get to work. However, what happens is that I write one scene and they write another. The work was basically taking a Shakespeare play and find-replacing bits of it. We never finish it.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Probably “Special Delivery”. I gave up on it because everything felt too contrived and I knew I couldn’t stick the landing. I feel like it would be best for me to tear it all down and rewrite it from scratch.

What are you currently working on?

A Luo Binghe- and Meng Mo-centered fic about the time during the Abyss. Basically an excuse for me to process my need for external validation and my expectations of the love/approval of others. That said, since it is a fic about processing my need for external validation and my expectations of the love/approval of others, I don’t think it would make sense for me to actually publish it.

The Heir and the Spare. A series of connected one-shots in which a recently resurrected Sephiroth and a permanently fifteen Chadley figure out how to human and bond through the respective traumas of their experiences with Hojo. This is still a bunch of scenes in my head, and I feel like I need to learn how to human and process my parent-derived traumas before even attempting it.

What are your writing strengths?

Remembering that idiolects are a thing, and using that in narration.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Plots are non-existent. If I manage to have a plot, they’re trite and simplistic. I don’t write conflict. My pacing is terrible. I can’t write battles. I can’t provide tension. Everyone sounds the same in dialogue. I can’t write long-fic. I don’t write consistently. I don’t write for myself anymore. I’m afraid of writing things that excite or interest me because I believe that no one will like it and external validation is what matters. I don’t write for improvement. I don’t use a beta regularly and when I do use a beta I take their critique too personally. I don’t explore challenging themes. I don’t have themes in my work. I don’t use my work to explore or problematize themes and topics from the canon. I don’t understand the canon. I don’t critique the canon in a scholarly and nuanced way. I don’t reflect on my writing for improvement or for personal enlightenment. I don’t refine my work. I don’t have “galaxy brain” takes or ideas. I procrastinate on my assignments. I put too much pressure on myself. I expect certain amounts of interaction/validation and when it doesn’t materialize, I take it as proof that my work is terrible. I don’t push. I don’t fight. I give up too easily. I can’t find positives in my work easily.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Most recent?

Same answer for both, actually: Final Fantasy VII.

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

If we’re talking about how I felt while writing it, then the Mary Sue fic that I first started working on back in 1998. I wrote that for myself, mostly. (I did ask for critique and I did take the critique personally, but once I reworked what I had, I honestly had fun with it.) It’s Old Shame now.

If we’re talking about me reading everything I’ve ever written in the present, I hate “Honor Among...” the least. There are parts from each chapter that I really like, but because the work as it is doesn’t match the first grand idea/expectation I had in my head, it feels like I compromised/cut corners/didn’t work as hard as I should have in order to get it done. 

What fic are you most proud of?

“The Traveling Companions” and “Honor Among” because they had plots and they’re complete.

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon back with ANGST at the very last question on part 2. Im honestly not positive myself how im gonna fix it. I have ideas but still. Hopefully this isn't to long.

Rans life at Mizu: For Mizu I've changed it a bit, history is still messed up to a point. But other people like Technoblade, Philza, Sam, Foolish, etc are now included with their own rooms. Ran idolized/choose Technoblade to follow. Followers of Technoblade are the only people in the City (expect for guards or police type people, though they also tend to be followers of Techno) that are allowed to freely carry weapons (after the proper training of course). Ran choose Technoblade because he wanted to protect those he loved and he was always interested in the art of fighting. He had two mentors, a women named Alma, she mostly did hand to hand combat and defense training with Ran, while a man named Fermin was a historical teacher, and taught him the history of wars and weapons more indepth than regular classes did. He had quite a few friends, though only a few close friends he often went to play games with or have sleepovers with (if you want angst, Ran was actually the one who discovered two of his friends bodies and had to report them, forcing him to go back a few times to see their bodies). Im pretty sure I mentioned it before but the brothers had a family of 6! Their mom was Ranya and was a 20% enderman hybrid, their dad was Seth and was a normal human, of course you know the brothers, their younger brother (14 years old upon death/a year younger than Ran) was named Lias and was human, and their younger sister was Memi (10 years old upon death) and was human. Ran was close to his parents, often having Ranya read him to bed and riding Seth's shoulders when he was young. He also baby sat Lias and Memi when everyone else was out, also helping them with homework and letting them sleep in his bed when nightmares happened. He loved his family and its when the murders and sabotages started happening did he choose Technoblade as his idol, to protect his family and seem intimating to whoever was doing the sabotages. 

1: When the carriage finally stopped Cletus jumped out and faceplanted onto the ground, screaming about how he was finally free and away from all the awkward tension. Grievous, Jackie, and Isaac where all close behind, all having a similar reaction. While Watson, Charles, and Benjamin had a calmer reaction simply walking out and stretching. Ran was the last to get out, and he had to be dragged out by Watson, but he fought being dragged out. He grabbed the edges of the carriage and screamed while being forced out. Ranbob was calmer, and while jumping out he accidentally landed on Grievous, forcing his head back into the dirt, who then let out a muffled shout of alarm before immediately getting up and confronting a nervous and apologetic Ranbob. 

3: He isn't the fastest at evaluating a situation, and needs ample time to make decisions. He also isnt the best at understanding emotions at times and sometimes needs a little push in a direction to understand. Also at points he gets into situations he doesnt know how to handle at all, at those times he almost shuts down with overwhelment, and the leadership tends to go to Benjamin for a while during it. 

5: Their healing potions, so they work over time, slowly working with the body to heal and regenerate, so they take longer to fully work. Poitions work generally the same (ingredient wise), but theres more steps. For a potion of harming, first you crush up and gently mix in a spiders eye into a Awkward potion, then put it on the brewing stand for 10 minutes, then after the Poison potion is made, you get another spider eye and roll it in sugar cane until the general texture changes into a more wrinkly and powder like texture, then crush that up and mix it into the Poison potion, put it in the brewing stand for at least 30 minutes, then it makes a harming potion. The process its generally the same for all the rest of the potions, though it depends on ingredients and how long they must stand on the brewing stand. 

7: I'll try doing that, thank you! Cause Grievous is a lil shit at times and encourages  violence as long as its not against him. I know you probably expect a deep answer but thats purely the only reason Grievous encourages it. It depends on what was said to Jackie, if its something that deeply and emotionally hurts Jackie, than he'd likely discourage him, instead comforting him and convincing him if he attacked the person he'll just feel worse. But if its something he knows Jackie can handle, he'll encourage Jackie to beat em up. 

8: Watson went almost everywhere, the only places he didn't go was The End, Mushroom Islands, Badlands, Ice Spikes, and Gravel Mountains (he saw them he just didn't wanna go in them), and thats because he never came across them or traveled there. He has a long bamboo that he uses to wack people over the head with when their being idiots, he has a framed nether star fragment that he found in a ruined and abandoned village (he doesnt know what it is he just knows its shiny and cool), he has some fur-lined outfits from the time spent in Tundras, and he has a book where he records locations of interesting formations he found and just a general record of stuff (how much food he has, the season, days until winter, when he should go on a supply run, etc). When Watson still lived as a kid in a village, he often went to watch the blacksmith (also the farmers, clerics, and others) and when he was old enough the blacksmith showed him how to make a multitude of weapons with different materials. And now he pushes the limits of what he's learned from that and over the years to make brand new weapons. And since I'm not sure if you where also asking about Ran, Ran only went to Plains, Covered Forest, Tundra, Savanna, and Tagia biomes. He has a dagger (specifically a Zorlin Shape dagger) that he took off of a hunter when he killed them, has parts of iron armour (shoulder and chest pieces, with the pieces that go on his shins), again some fur-lined clothes from his time in the Tundra, a selfbow, and also has a book similar to Watson's, but his has notes of potion affects,crafting recipes, mobs to avoid, etc. Visiting the nether is not common at all! Infact no vists it expect travelers or people who get hired to go in for potion ingredients and building supplies. Jackie does eventually give up painting, and instead picks up the hobby of annoying people and just training. It actually goes pretty well, there are rules put in place during it to protect them, but other than that its generally the same as the one played in our world. Jackie wants to vist those biomes because he thinks there cool, and thinks their good starting biomes to vist for a beginner adventure. Yep, Ran says its way to dangerous to go to the nether, especially with almost no one knowing how the nether works. Though actually Watson wants to bring the others into the nether, saying its a good learning experience and no one will learn how to survive if they dont go. Ran still agures its too dangerous though, citing the Piglins and Ghasts as evidence, but eventually, after much begging and negotiations, Ran agrees to let them go. They just need to listen to Ran and Watson teach them about the nether and follow everything they say to a T while in the nether. 

9: Jackie screamed while being thrown, but after that and a bit of stunned silence, he jumped up and demanded for Ran to throw him again. So he enjoys being thrown, and sometimes he specifically requests to be thrown, so he can curl into a ball and slam into people like a goddamn canon ball. Porkius was also shocked into stunned silence, but after he saw Jackie get back up and demand to be thrown again, he just started bellowing in laughter, you could hear his laughter even echoing a bit outside of the Pit. 

10: Then you may be happy to know, but I believe at the end I'll make it so after the brothers have fixed their relationship, their still being haunted by Dream, and eventually the decision gets made to go back to Mizu and face him. Where Dream has actually escaped (Due to a big group coming in, and him being able to convince them to take the Mask with them) so now they have to hunt him down. And when they finally find him you can bet someone (or multiple people) are going to punch him. 

12: He does tell the fishermen about these thoughts once, but the fishermen sadly fail at comforting him and changing those thoughts, so he decides to keep it inside and suffer in quite. Though 2 people do see his suffering, Ran and Grievous. Grievous is debating if he should step in and ask what's wrong and if he can help, while Ran just watches (though he does feel some hurt watching his brother suffer, though he denies it). 

13: They all had a blast there, Charles showed Jackie how to make flower crowns, then they went and made one for everyone else, Ran just laid in the grass and tried to relax, Ranbob eventually joined in with the flower crowns, Watson was telling Grievous all the meaning of flower colors and what certain flowers stand for, while Isaac and Cletus chased eachother around and eventually got Jackie, Grievous, and Watson involved in a game of chase. They did leave after a General battle, as that was one of the things they had to do for Porkius to approve of them leaving. Porkius still wants them back in less than 5 years, though they can take like a year or 2 longer max. Jackie is technically a general, though the general title he has is specifically only for the Pit matches and instead is more of a like final boss title. 

14: Again its very much like a abusive relationship. Ranbob believes Dream has changed because of distant whispers from Dream (only happened while they still lived at the fishermen house which is kinda-close to Mizu) promising he has changed and he truly wants to help Ranbob, and saying how he can help Ranbob be of more use to the fishermen and since Dream did actually help Ranbob at first, he wants to believe him. But once they get futher away from Mizu, the whispers disappear, only rarely appearing in his dreams. Cletus doesn't really help, not because he doesnt care but more because he doesn't know how to help, he knows its a very delicate situation and saying or doing the wrong thing could hurt more than help, so he decided to play it safe. Charles tries to help, though he provides more physical help, like hugs to ground him or showing him how to breath again, while Benjamin and Isaac tackle the more internal issues and do so comfortingly and gently. Making it so Ranbob only notices their actually helping when he starts to do things on his own and no longer has such strong and often urges to return to Dream. 

15: One night when Ranbob is off getting firewood and Ran is off checking surroundings to make sure its safe, the Hunters actually get into the camp and holds everyone at sword and bow point. Ran sees them when coming back and actually, though hesitantly, decides to wait for Ranbob to come back. And once Ranbob is back the two make a plan to rescue them, which goes mostly well. Ran gets shot in the stomach and Ranbob gets a sword through his arm, but other than that they do manage to rescue them. Watson jokingly says how they've finally made progress and that they can now work toghere without fighting now, Ran growls at this and storms away, denying it, but Ranbob just nervously shuffles and sits down, letting Charles tend to his wounds, as Jackie chases off after Ran to tend to his wounds. I really want them to stumble across the Wild West ruins and maybe The Masquerade ruins but im not sure how I'll get them to either. 

1: Haha, ouch. Poor Ran. Nice backstory though. I can only imagine how he must have felt, coming across those. Does him choosing Techno have anything to do with him choosing to enter the Pit? Also how did Ranbob feel about killing his family? We’ve talked about the guilt about hurting Ran and stuff, but about the ones who weren’t as lucky to escape?

2: That sounds like...a scene. Funny, but probably not until a few days after it happened for the people who actually had to go through it.

3: Is Isaac the type to get overwhelmed easily? But very nice to see Benjamin helping out! 

5: So basically just tossing some real life logic in there? Hmm, interesting.

7: Hope it helps! Nope, no deep answer. That’s about what I expected actually. Grievous has that energy, y’know? Also, very sweet of Ran to comfort Jackie. Does he ever get revenge on Jackie’s behalf? He doesn’t strike me as the type to let that go, especially if it actually hurt somebody he cared for. Him otherwise encouraging it..yeah, sounds about right. Gremlin children.

8: Sounds like he’s really been a lot of places! He must know a lot, huh? Also, he just...wack? Cause that’s kind of funny. He watched others beside the Blacksmith? Did he learn anything from them? Ran personally sounds very intimidating. Though if he has potion notes, does he often make them? Is there a particular reason Nether travel is no longer common? Also, would the gang ever happen to stumble across ruins from the time of the Smp? Cause that’d be kind of cool. Jackie’s new hobby sounds very nice, I hope he has fun doing it. How long does it take before Ran deems everyone ready for the Nether? And do the Fishermen also go through, or do they prefer to stick to safer grounds?

9: I bet the first time the fishermen saw that show they were surprised. And honestly, Porkius, I’d laugh too. 

10: I am happy to know that! Well, not the escape bit, but the punching, for sure! You go, guys, punch that neon green slimeball!

12: Oh no. Does Grievous ever step in?

13: Sounds like they had a good time, I’m happy for them. And a final boss title? Is Jackie like a final boss? What differs between them fighting as the general, and as a typical gladiator?

14: Hm, that’s not good. What is good is that he’s getting away from Dream’s influence. Did that have anything to do with the group deciding to head to Subbin? 

15: Well, progress is progress! Surely it’s a step in the right direction, right?

Also, not really a Brothers AU question, but as you may have noticed, I pinned a post of all the AUs on here, and I was wondering if you’d like me to put yours on there too. Obviously, I’d put it as yours. I wanted to earlier, but I figured it would be better to ask, so tell me your feelings on that.