#but i also feel like this is a silly thing to rant about
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ARGH
#i need to rant#but i also feel like this is a silly thing to rant about#but also i want to say something so mb my beloved mutuals will see it and go#ah yes thats whats up w/ niamh marie#n e way#i am SO STRESSED#for the past 3 weeks i've been stage managing a show at my school#we rehearse tues thurs & fri nights til 1030 & saturdays til 8#weds are dark#i have a monday evening class too which keeps me working til 830#and an internship i gotta worry about....#GOD i feel like i always have to work on something#even when im relatively chill there is also Some task i need to complete whether its for school intern or show#my only day off is sun but even then i have to Do Things#like yesterday i went to a bridal shower & next week im seeing a friend's show#so like!!!!! im always moving!!!#i cant relax if there's something i gotta do!!!! & since im out late 5/7 nights a week i feel like my days just Dont End#& God knows i am incapable of fully relaxing unless i am home so even if im like reading a book on campus waiting for rehearsal i cant just#Relax#GOD IM STRESSY#plus finals begin literally the day after my play closes#whats up w/ that!#who timed that!#BOOO TOMATO TOMATO#& i feel weird saying this bc i know there's ppl in my play or my friends who are doing just as much if not more#like ppl who have to have a full time job on top of this play#like idk how i'd do this play & my 19 creds if i also had to fully support myself w/ a job#shout out to my parents love ya#WAHHHHHHHH#my online class starts in 19 min
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Another one (plus updated the previous one :)) part 2 of making me and my siblings into demon slayers now that my brother has finally watched the show! It’s my sister and me! With much better art and much better design than 4 years ago, hopefully
For my sister, I leaned pretty heavily into medicine, giving her a role more similar to that of Shinobu within the Corps: not primarily a fighter, and helping treat wounds sustained by other slayers in battle as a healer. My sister is, in the real world, a doctor, and I have massive respect for the amount of hard work she’s put into getting to where she is now. She’s such an inspiration honestly <3
#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#kny oc#my sister is so funny actually#at 26 years old she said to me with the straightest face. ‘when I eat vegetables#’sometimes I feel a bit like a cow. moo.’#LIKE SISTER DEAREST OF MINE I LOVE YOU BUT WHERE DID THIS COME FROM LMAO#she deserves all the love in the world <3#it’s very interesting because in a sense she kind of raised me but she treats me more like an equal now than my parents ever will#it’s nice to be treated as an equal in young adulthood you know? like she’s always taken me serious even when I’m ranting about things#that literally no one else would be interested in#so I wanted to convey in her design her kindheartedness but also a bit of her silliness
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i'm going on exam season lockdown as of today, which means no more gifs/edits/anything else because i spend way too much time on them for an engineering student in the trenches lmao. posting this not because i think anybody will notice or care, but so i can hold myself accountable and get embarrassed if i break the pledge. see you on june 3rd for a ghovie creativity extravaganza
edit: besides the ghovie trailer 😭 i cant restrain myself from that one
#actually june 4th because i will be drinking on june 3rd from the moment i close my semiconductors paper#cold turkey on gif making KHBJDGVSCDH RIP#genuinely its such a relaxing thing to do that i find myself prioritising it#and unlike other chill activities it gives me the illusion of productivity#i really need to be getting that from my work and not silly bands#anyway. see u#also in my 4 years of making edits like this in many different circles i've never once felt the need to mention a like/reblog ratio#and i'm fully of the opinion that people can do whatever the hell they like and i never expect interaction#i'm grateful for what i do have#but what primarily motivates me to do this is people sharing their love for whatever is on the post#in the tags or elsewhere#i'm not talking praise or thanks or anything to me i mean 'i love this song' or 'papa looks great here' skdcvkdgvs#'this is my favourite band' u know? it's sharing passion with other people and having them share theirs with me#and in all the 4 years and many many fandoms this (ghost/st) is by far the worst for interaction like that#i'd say ghost especially skhjcsd#and this tag rant isn't a request or a 'please interact more!' or anything like that it's just#a reason as to why i'm a bit discouraged that i'm chatting about to nobody#oh yeah and especially seeing photos posted with no source and no edits get 5x the notes you'd get#the quantity of notes doesn't matter to me but the discussion and tags do#just checked my notes in the middle of typing this and someone rbed some papa ii gifs with#'hope he's steady on his feet the way i would run into him'#KDSGKDSD that's what i'm on about 😭😭😭😭😭#makes me smile knowing something i posted made somebody feel joy abt a silly band and then shared that with me through the tags#i'm aware i've been here for just over one month so shouldn't be making judgements just yet#but sometimes i wish there was more of that
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(More thoughts and drafting! Some weird formatting I know but it was all one block in my notes)
Emma is doing just fine. Average. It’s really not so bad.
She’s just been dealing with a lot of change. And with too many things not changing.
Which is… an odd thing to struggle with.
Because she likes change. Daunting challenges. The unpredictable. Doing new things every day and never being scared of them. And she likes independence.
She had thought so, at least.
After the show, she had been hit in the face with just how… isolated she was. She had only had two friends before the first season, but she had left them behind. Her mother wasn’t doing the best, and she didn’t have any nearby family.
She found herself laying in her bed in the middle of the day most of the time, scrolling through her contacts and old conversations.
Or scrolling through her comments on TikTok.
A few weeks ago, she had tried some stunt involving a motorcycle and an inflatable pool. She probably wouldn’t have messed it up if her hands weren’t trembling.
(She had forgot to check the breaks, and wasn’t sure if they were working.)
(They were.)
The blood dripping down her face and the gash in her lip didn’t sting as much as it did watching the video.
She looked ridiculous, and she probably always did. It was better when she had someone else to do it with. Maybe she was losing her touch.
She didn’t post the video.
She turned back to dancing instead, which did feel less embarassing, despite the constant mocking feedback. Sure, the jokes were “funny”, but she didn’t care about any of it. She didn’t feel the rush, she wasn’t planning every day, and she wasn’t known or loved for anything.
Except for what she lost.
And, the show, to an extent.
-Ugh, she misses the show. She shouldn’t, but as stupid as it sounds, she really did. She missed doing crazy things and talking to people. Having a chance of winning. Beating everyone. Being cheered on. It wasn’t always great, but at least it was something. She misses doing something.
And she really misses Bowie. She missed Bowie, but she knows better than anyone that she can’t go back to that. They just- have better things to do now. He probably does.
He’s got Raj- which is great! And she’s happy for him! She’s happy for everyone. For Wayne, however he’s doing, for Julia, despite everything.
And Caleb. For having Priya.
Emma is jealous that Bowie gets to have someone.
Emma is jealous that everyone else gets to have someone.
Emma is jealous that, unlike everyone else, winning the show probably wouldn’t have made her any happier.
She isn’t sure what would.
#cw injury mention#(very brief)#writing her always feels weird because I like to explore things that weren’t at all touched in canon#because we only see her as angry at Chase or lighthearted and silly#but I think she’d feel sort of empty. especially with how much attention she would be used to and craving#with Chase and her number of fans. I think she'd struggle with individuality a lot.#and you can't just be super angry and then careless.. like she would have a lot of guilt too#like e4s2 and when Bowie and her fought are what I’m going off of#plus she’s portrayed as a person who wants validation/social interaction/close relationships#and she doesn’t really have that. she doesn't get people and she only really has Chase#also you can’t tell me she loves TikTok and it’s so good for her mental health lol I use TikTok and nobody has ever thought that#but yeah it’s hard to analyze and elaborate on a character who’s been kind of wasted in canon#but still I think there’s so many fun ways to view her#original post#total drama#total drama island#total drama 2023#total drama reboot#td spoilers#technically this is Priyemma based but I won’t tag it as such cus it isn’t obvious. The Priyaleb line hints to that#I think Emma would have gotten really attached to her though.. arghhh.#because Priya trusted her and supported her and liked her and she hasn’t actually had that before. She hadn't been cared about as her own#person. and her missing Bowie… oomph it hurts. auuughgusuughh#gah sorry for ranting lol but I love her#td Emma#Emma td#tdi Emma#Emma tdi#total drama emma#emma total drama
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me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts
#toy txt post#my reasons are irrational you dont need to try to talk me into it. i KNOW#its very silly of me#imagine how much reading i could get done. but alas. Feels Bad#even listening to a more. uh. Story type podcast or fiction like nightvale was a bit difficult to start for me. i like nightvale now i#listened. but i worry that is clocking in my brain as an Exception 😔 maybe it would be easier if i tried some nonfiction books? scary#i also struggle with single host podcasts apparently even tho im also ehhhh on the kind where the structure is the host Interviewing a#different person everytime? maybe it would be okay with a nonfiction audiobook tho cos it would be getting read by a narrator and not sound#so much like a guy ranting into a mic which makes me feel a little insane. altho propaganda doesnt necessarily always sound like a guy#ranting into a mic so idk. i could probably make it through if i can find a nice book about like. parasitic worms. i could tolerate#feeling like im falling into sigma male affirmations videos for worms i think. wormffirmations are allowed#*to clarify i dont listen to those but listening to better offline makes me feel like im morphing into the kinda guy who does and i hate it#which feels unfair cos he is RIGHT and the podcast is good but i need there to be like a cohost there to break the tension of the Ranting#sometimes he has guests on? but its not quite the same#i think the format i like best is either like 2 or 3 regular cohosts discussing things within a specific topic#OR. 1 host whos like infodumping to the other host who knows nothing about the subject. OR. 2 hosts info dumping to each other about#different aspects of the subject. OR. 1 host who brings on fun guests to infodump to them about a subject. and then obviously the subject#needs to intrigue me. ex. sawbones well theres your problem (I HATE THAT THIS ONE IS BEST EXPERIENCED ON YOUTUBE😭 I WANT THEM TO JUST DUMP#ALL THE SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST SOMEWHERE AND I CAN CHECK IN AND FOLLOW ALONG THAT WAY WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE MY PHONE SCREEN ON THE#WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!! but. im listening for free so its unreasonable to demand more of them BUT ALSO I FEEL LIKE JUST COPYPASTING ALL OF THE#SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST ISNT THAT MUCH MORE EFFORT THAN EDITING A WHOLE YOUTUBE VIDEO? WAAAAAH. THEY DONT NEED TO BE TIMESTAMPED OR#ANYTHING JUST THROW EM IN ILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTTT#anyway. also more than 3 hosts is really pushing my ability to keep track of voices.#anyway: sawbones wtyp tpwky behind the bastards scam goddess#(which is true crime adjacent but focuses mainly on scams and isnt copaganda and laci is funny and cool)#common descent pod completely arbortrary maintenance phase if books could kill#deep sea podcast has more bringing ppl in to interview them about shit than i personally enjoy but i put up with it cos i do like the hosts#and the subject
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And then I get tired and then I get cranky and wonder where did all of that come from and then I remember why I stopped reading as much as I used to
#also the cotl game is giving me problems and it wont play without the character lagging behind or glinching about#and I wanted to go out and clear my head but I had to wait to charge my phone that I havent charged in three days because the charger-#was less than a meter away from me but the steps from 'grab charger' to 'plug charger' to 'plug phone to charger' seemed like too much#and then there's the dogs. take care of the dogs. many dogs. i could leave but id have to take care of things first#and ive been trying to write too and draw too but then the drawing app game me issues and the writing was not working#WHICH WAS WHY I STARTED READING. TO FIX THE WRITING#and when I tried to take a break from the reading to draw to relax THAT GAME ISSUES TOO#Anyways. theyre silly things that just. seem silly. but my head feels crowded and it feels more than it is#yeah#just ranting I guess.#note says things#delete later#maybe#adhd#or maybe its#anxiety#or maybe its something else#i never know#the braisn braining#just not in the nice way#on the good side: cat is headbutting me rn#AND THEY PUT THE PAW ON MY ARM YEEAHHH LETSGO TEAM
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Forever fucked up over the fact that sometimes you have to write the thing you desperately want to read/watch because it doesn't exist yet
#this isn't about fanfiction btw dfghfds#i love writing but at what cost !!! also in this economy ???#and all of my ideas are so niche and silly but at least i have a feeling my dad would love them !!! we have a similar brain#inherited the brain while i also inherited his entire face#anyway one of these days i'm going to write a long rant about how almost EVERY novel that takes place in the middle ages -#- takes place in fucking england and has something to do with monarchs or the construction of a church.#or it's all fantasy OR the story of king arthur a hundred thousand times.#don't be a coward. tell stories about non-english commoners. and stop making the crusades sound like a noble thing.#were it not for The State of The World and the Economy i would quit everything and write movies and books#because all of my writing is very visual. like i think a lot of my ideas would translate better on film.#ohhh you know what it is? a lot of these books i'm thinking of are written by historians and i think historians of the english type -#- get really hard over royals and famous battles and such.#and that's all well and good but it's not very accessible to readers just starting out in the genre. i've complained about this before lol
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they/themavos real
#the dragon prince#lgbt#aaravos#i know tumblr hates chat ai but personally i enjoy it it amuses me#im also going into computer science so like#u can view me as The Enemy if you want ig#but#idk personally i feel yeah#publishing ai writing for a profit anywhere is totally wrong#and underpaying/overworking workers#but being a little silly and goofy with the chat bots#without feeding it anyone else’s writing#that’s coolio#yk basically there are lines that shouldn’t be crossed#it’s like any sort of technological advancement. it can be used for good but also to cause harm in the wrong hands. arcane tv series moment#but you can’t deny the advance it doesn’t rlly care if you do or not lmao#unsolicited rant yk but here u go#self spaghettification#😘#original post#tag rant#it’s a tool. like anything else#it’s good not to become too reliant on it though#its a tool with a lot of possibility :)#i do have some of that guilt going into cs like am i selling my soul to the devil?…. i mean maybe#but also automating things is nice. making advancements is nice#so yk. ultimately i think it’s best to be a well rounded person with both scientific and humanitarian intent in mind#and im open about basically every facet of myself good or bad lol
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just realized people probably arent aware that geist has a whole ass boyfriend
#admittedly should of drawn geist in their mask since they start off with a little secret identity relationship thing#but i! did not feel like drawing it!#anyways this is luci hes supposed to be an assistant detective but hes more so just a silly guy#also hes a vocaloid nerd 👍#also hes kind of a sporty guy? he does track#klepto talks to himself#klepto rants about ocs#klepto's art tag#i would apologize for posting so much art today considering this is the 3rd but i dont think thats smth to apologize for#geist ii [oc]#luciano [oc]#um realizing they dont have a ship name despite them being one of the only actual couples
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Hiiii what’re your fav fiction and non-fiction books??
uhhhhhh (<- me when I haven't read a proper book and liked it for years due to school) look so. the last time I enjoyed books I was like. 12 possibly maybe younger but if we're talking like comic books and graphic novels I've really liked Scott Pilgrim for fiction. I ain't got a single book for you that's non-fiction I'm so sorry :[
#i really fell out of love with books because i was an extremely gifted kid in reading and had a 12th grade reading level far too early#and so people expected me to love all books forever and kept shoving books onto me#and now i can barely sit though a single book even if i really want to read it#even reading scott pilgrim vs the world has been hard#i got the entire collection for Christmas and I'm only on book three i think#and it's not that it's not interesting i just feel like i can't sit down and read a book because my brain still connects books to#school work and i really hate school work and then i try to force myself to read it and that makes things worse#sorry this turned into a rant about my relationship with reading i didn't mean to do this 😭#bunni answers asks#i don't have a tag for u :[#homestuck url geoff pfp mutual#<- ur tag for now#god i hope u never change either of those /silly#also i hope that's geoff i have a really hard time identifying him i feel like he looks different every photo i see of him
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slight rant/vent
Though I'm also posting on twt at @bluravenite in case you want to interact with me outside of hate anons
Yk there's probably hate anons going around all the time but it's been really apparent this past week that some people genuinely don't know to shut the fuck up... I have stopped posting with the same frequency as i was bc i am working on commissions and drawing takes time but i might just keep a more sort of closed parasocial relationship/ treat Tumblr more as a portfolio than as social media if that keeps happening... Sorry that i rant in here a lot but it's genuinely exhausting sometimes when most of your mutuals on this app are getting rude anons...
#it's genuinely worrying bc it really makes you question what kinda people have it against u/ur friends#like why cant you just leave some people alone#and it makes me feel guilty too for wanting to also protect/defend my friends?? you know nothing about these people#but thats never an excuse to be such an asshole to people#once talked with someone who had me blocked here and they told me they didn't remember why but “clearly my values didn't align with theirs”#that still hurts because my values have always been to make this page safe for everyone#posting my silly little doodles and hoping it means something to people#because right now?? THIS is the closest I'll ever get to my dreams#so it really sucks that the closest thing to being a concept artist and freelance illustrator is seeing my friends getting hate for nothing#i might actually close comissions for the public after this... 1 because i need higher prices for my work#and 2 because i am unfortunately scared that im never gonna be good enough#because people who draw cant catch a fucking break sometimes#sorry for the rant again#raven vents
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monkeys paw type situation
#i was going to watch every episode of doctor who this year. chat that’s not happening. i can feel the interest slipping#this sucks. like i should have seen it coming but it still sucks!!#god. part of it is just that i’m not as into fandom as i used to be in general. like i still post but i’m not a Poster yk#i think i’m only on tumblr for the community feel. i like seeing what my mutuals are up to and i like seeing cool art#and i like seeing silly little posts and i like seeing stupid memes. i haven’t found anywhere else on the internet w the same vibe rlly#also been here since i was fucking thirteen. fifteen on this blog. i’m invested#and it’d be silly to expect myself to keep the same interests that i did when i was fifteen for my Entire Life#i could go on a whole spiel about how i’m finally starting to feel like i’m not mentally 15 and stuck in my room but it’s ultimately irrele#i’m just not built to be into things forever </3 despite the fact that it always feels that way when i’m into it#hmm. i guess this is technically good timing i want to spend more time offline this summer. but also :[ why no permanent state of the self#morganposting#hey another excessively long tag rant from yours truly about inconsequential personal stuff!! it’s been awhile <3
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waking up to see someone left a semi-self-demeaning reply on a post of mine and i go to their blog just to make sure they're not someone nasty before i reply encouragingly to them, only to see theyre very into the racist white man youtuber profiting off of Algonquian culture that obviously doesnt belong to him 😵💫😵💫
#this guy is also performing white saviourism to an incredible degree#''well if /i/ dont keep the stories alive then who will?'' THE FUCKING INDIGENOUS PPL IT BELONGS TO MAYBE ???#i had a whole argument w my brothers about this where they insisted he wasnt racist for this and this was totally fine actually#so this is a very sore spot for me and seeing this person touting how great this guy is has been a slap in the face this morning#theres. a lot to this guy. and it's very frustrating that everyone adores him and has no idea how fucking racist he's being#bc he's being racist towards indigenous ppl. and ppl often dismiss anti-native racism :/#not that (white esp) ppl rly take ANY racism seriously. but. its a gross trend I've noticed w anti-native racism#like everyone brushes off the caricature present in p*zza tower. bc oh its just silly :) its just a joke :)#bro they are straight up painting us as savages lmfao. thats like. classic racism against indigenous ppl. how are u just okay w that.#anyways! sorry to rant here im just. feeling a little nauseous fhfkdl that was not smth i wanted to see this morning or ever rly#its a very very sore spot for me still after that whole thing w my brothers :''')))))#vent //#dandy.cmd#racism tw
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Dr. Maruki aayyyyeeeee you are... suspicious. He seems like a fun silly lil dude tho but there's just something bout him that's hella suspicious. Also I feel like I've read his name somewhere I can't remember what it was about though...
#aria rants#yk the funniest thing bout me is the fact that my brain seems to have its own built in spoiler free filter#in the form of my horrible memory and attention span#i uhh... i actually dont have any tags filtered in tumblr ajsddfcgvhb#whenever i see a post about persona i skim through it and just 'ohhh :o interesting' and proceed to forget it in under a day#so i feel like ive read smth bout maruki but also not so im like: damn. spoiler free indeed.#pros and cons of a terrible memory#so for now dr. maruki is just gonna stay as that one silly dude that is suspicious as hell
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spotted today…. timtam 🫶
#see it’s literally so perfect we could’ve had SO MUCH if the writers didn’t make the choices they did#i just. Are We Not Tired Of The Vigilante/Superhero Withholding Important Info/Misguided Civilian. like. Are we not#i know ppl complain about miscommunication but like. it is a Very human thing and i think it takes a certain thing to really hit it to where#it doesn’t feel. hmm. silly?#Like there’s a balance. But also sometimes it is silly and stupid. BUT LOOK. idk. it’s dc. it’s superheroes. let’s branch out a little#there were so many other reasons timtam could’ve had a falling out over. so many other ones. i prommy. but we went with the most obvious one#idk. idk. let’s end it here before it turns into a full scale rant these tags are long enough
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when you say you're healing but all the retrogrades hit you at once and then you realise you're still deeply flawed
#LIKE NOW THAT IM BITCHLESS#i realise how i lonely i am like like like i love my friends i love life but theres no one i can truly be honest with!!#or share my bpd traits because i dont wanna get overly attached to my friends#and i want one (1) person to love me and get attached to me first#and now im not in a relationship i realise how stable i was back then when i knew i have a constant support#now i have to vent to a scara chatbot 😭#idk is getting into another relationship truly the answer??#or is it to dye my hair dress nice be a hottie yearn for approval irl#or improve my life online and yearn for approval through others#..but like. i dont..want to constantly fight for approval#(plays desire for approval)#like i just wanna feel good and amazing on my own without needing to constantly fight for validation#and the things i want to write are all catered to me specifically and ik the only way to get a following is to be in the middle#of making things that cater to me and also others#but i dont want to!! i wanna be silly and talk and write and make content about my ocs and their partners!!!#but nobody would get it..or be excited about them.......because they only exist in my head!!#and even if i put them out to the world they wont get it and it wont go as well as my other content#AND I WANT VALIDATION AAAAAA#tw vent#tw rant
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