#but i cant DO anything about it because even now my mom leaves the doors and windows wide open for the cats to go out snd get themselves

[electricpurrs]

i life is fucking falling apart out of nowhere and i dont know what to do sbout it

[marlenesluv]

۵pairing: fem!albonsibling!ballerina x platonic f1 grid. also, reader x lando norris.

۵type: social media au

۵authors note: sorry it’s been so long! if you want a tag for new updates for this series, leave a comment letting me know! i’ll tag you in upcoming posts :)

۵warnings: dark side of ballet (this includes: ed/not eating as much, self criticism, teacher, etc) please be aware of this while reading. i love you. also cussing.

۵summary: a month after the dinner, y/n is still working to perfect her performance for her role as the black/white swan. luckily, she had her “friend(?)” lando to help her and keep her company.

۵this is part 4! please read part 1, part 2, and part 3 before this one for it to make sense. (part 1 is mine, i just made it on my main blog)

masterlist here -> masterlist link

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

liked by: lilymhe, landonorris, and 854,282 others

tagged: lilymhe, landonorris, and alex_albon

y/n.albon: reminiscing bc i start training for ballet tomorrow, missing friends and shit👾💜

view comments…

lilymhe: noooo i miss you, cant wait to crash ur apartment every few days 💘

↳ y/n.albon: my door is always open for u

↳ landonorris: and me???😪

↳ y/n.albon: 🔑

↳ landonorris: 🙂↕️

↳ alex_albon: wait. LANDO HAS A KEY!?????

↳ alex_albon: why do i even comment. you NEVER ANSWER ME😭🤧

user2: alex is just so offended atp😭

f1wags: new wag manifestinggggg🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

fp4albons: my favssss

ln4updates: lando has a key to her apartment?🥲we know they’re dating like js announce it😁

user7: alr, my favorite people ever (real)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You loved ballet more than anything, but the hours were ungodly. Waking up on a Monday morning at 5am to be at the studio by 7:30am was unforgivable.

But then, when you’re there till 11pm…it’s exhausting.

After those fifteen hours of practice, you needed about a week of sleep and four advil. Not to mention you were starving.

Your instructor said “lay off those bagels.” To which you nodded and then rolled your eyes once you were out of sight.

Your instructor was the best of the best, and you knew she meant well. She wanted the best for you, for you to be the best.

Sometimes, this was draining. In her eyes, the best was as thin as paper. Ballet was like this, and it was hard. But you had dealt with it for so long, that you started tuning them out years ago.

Fuck them. Its a sport. So, on your walk home, you grabbed a slice of pizza and a diet coke. You deserved it.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

liked by: landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux, and 879,238 others

y/n.albon: 🌚⭐️🌝

view comments…

landonorris: never letting you drive my car again

↳ y/n.albon: okay (i hate driving so this is perfect)

↳ landonorris: (thank god because i hate being the passenger)

user3: name a more iconic couple? *crickets* yeah i thought so

f1editpg4: lando on the first slide is a mooddddd

workinglateee3: uhhhhh the second pic🤧🤧🙃

francisca.cgomes: if you’re not rooting for portugal…

↳ y/n.albon: uhhhhh, they’re my second fav team😁

↳ francisca.cgomes: fairrr🫶

user6: me waiting for them to date 🙂

user9: mom and dad fr

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

your texts with alex:

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

After deciding that leaving Alex on read would be best for now, you walked into your favorite little italian restaurant that you ordered some pasta from after practice got over.

Should you be eating breadsticks, gnocchi, and a tiramisu for dinner? Eh, probably not, but you were tired and in need of some comfort food.

The whole situation with Lando felt like nothing and everything all at once. You knew he was single, and he knew you were as well. He also knew how upset you were about Ben quitting, but he didn’t pity you which was nice.

Family that had found out had been texting and calling you for weeks. Telling you how sorry they are, but you didn’t care that much. Truth be told, it was just inconvenient and inconsiderate.

If Lando knew one thing, it would how he knew how you functioned. At this point in knowing each other, Lando knew your schedule more than anyone else. He paid more attention. He never missed a planned hangout, a rehearsal, or dinner.

Stopping yourself, you walked up to the counter and grabbed your food, saying bye to the workers and started walking back home. What you didn't know was that Lando had happened to drive by and saw you walking.

Lando debated picking you up. The last thing he wanted was for you to think he was stalking you. It really was pure coincidence that he saw you. After having a mental fight with himself, he turned his car around and slowed down by the sidewalk.

You, wearing leggings, a sweater, long socks and tennis shoes and your hair down. Eyes focused on your phone as you struggled to find a good song to play through your headphones. Your ballet bag hanging off your shoulder and takeout in the opposite hand.

Smiling, Lando rolled his window down. "Y/n!"

You furrowed your brows, looking up and seeing a familiar face.

"Lando? What are you- are you following me now?!" You asked, stopping to talk as he stopped his car.

"What? Wha- no! I was driving by and you were just there!" He defended himself, nervous about your reaction.

"Uh huh..."

"Do you want a ride home?" Lando asked, tilting his head a little.

"Are you going to kidnap me if I get in?"

"Y/n! No! Stop that, just-...do you want a ride, or no?" He asked, hoping for you to say yes.

"Um...." You looked at the ground, then the buildings, and finally met his eyes, "Okay, yeah, thanks."

You opened the back door and threw your bags in, placing the food on the ground. Then, you got in the front, taking your headphones off and buckling up.

"How was practice?" Lando asked, pulling onto the road again and heading to your apartment building.

"It was okay. Lots of criticizing." You sighed, toying with your sweater string.

"About?" Lando loved your love for ballet. But sometimes, he wished he could beat your instructor. Always bringing you down, for no reason. In his eyes, you were perfect. He was well aware that he liked you...more than friends.

“Form, diet, you know..all that shit.” You laughed, watching as Lando skillfully pulled into the parking garage of your apartment. “Thanks for driving me, Lando.” You smiled, getting out and grabbing your bags as Lando exited the car as well.

“Care if I come up?” He asked, stuffing his hands in his hoodie pocket as you nodded and started walking, Lando quick on your trail.

‘Maybe he does like me…’ you thought as you both walked into your apartment and you started to split up the food you had ordered.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

liked by: y/n.albon, carlossainz55, and 982,194 others

landonorris: nights like this❤️

view comments…

y/n.albon: ♾️

*liked by creator*

oscarpiastri: have something to tell us, mate?

↳ landonorris: nah

f1wags: we have been summoned, WHAT

user3: it’s y/n bro i’m telling you

alex_albon: um…ok…..

ln4editpagee: we all know y/n took that first pic

user8: that’s literally y/n, i know those headphones anywhereeee

williams4life: alex has to be freaking out omg

↳ formula1wags: lily has to deal with the freak out too😭💀

y/ns1fp4: MOTHERRRR MOTHER MOTHER

user1: obsessed with this post, it’s my roman empire fr

user3: do we stay calm or freak out guys??????

↳ vrooms19: BOTH

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

twitter:

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

(reposts, comments, and likes are appreciated!^-^)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

tag: @rhythmstars

if you would like a tag for future parts of this series, leave a comment here and i’ll add you :)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[thepepsislvt]

Also, do you write for Kid or Killer…………? Is so PLEASE SOMETHING ANYTHING I BEG, EVEN JUST HCS FOR EITHER OR A POLY

-🌷 the Eustass and Killer (and barto ofc) obsessed Tulip

I ENJOY THEM SO MUCH AND I THINK ABOUT THEM SO CONSTANTLY YOU ASK I PROVIDE ❤️

nobody will understand how much i miss the pre time skip killer fit like he looks good in post timeskip but GOD.

Warnings: Cursing, kid being a dick

dating both Kid and Killer there will never be a dull moment

Kid is loud and rowdy and Killer is quiet

you and Kid bicker and poke fun at each other like you’ve known each other your whole life

When you and Eustass are at each other's throats it's Killer who comes and steps in to break the fight

Acts like a mom and is like “I don't care who started it I'm going to finish it”

Because you're too damn stubborn and Kid has such a thick skull Killer has to separate you more than not

Kid may not seem like he cares but he does

he shows it awfully though

he pull up to your bedroom door at an ungodly time of night before going to bed himself

he barges in and bangs on the open door just to wake you up

after your initial reaction which was to grab a weapon and hide under your bed you finally realize its just him

you crawl out and give him a nasty glare

“What is it Eustass? cant it wait until morning?”

“i made this for you asshole”

he gives you a new bracelet or necklace he made himself before leaving without another word

he leaves your door open just to annoy you

you slam the door before returning to bed

the noise from the door being slammed woke Killer awake and he knows exactly what happened

when you all wakeup you get an earful from Killer about being quiet at night because the crew needs to sleep in order to function properly

Killer is almost the exact opposite from Kid

any fights you have with him he will resolve in a normal, calm manner

he lets you sit in the kitchen with him while he cooks

you can talk his ear off and he wont butt in or interrupt you

he does get his piece in when you pause for a moment

most nights he cuddles with you since Kid stays awake pretty late

and if you do stay up late like Kid, Killer will sleep on whatever furniture available and just hold you in his lap

Killer is insecure about his laugh and face so when you first started dating he would only let you kiss his hands or mask

but slowly he warms up to the idea of you seeing his face and every now and again he moves his mask up his face more when you want to give him a kiss

when he does eventually remove his entire mask you cover his entire face in kisses and tell him hes perfect to you even if he doesnt think so

Killer loves it when you play or brush his hair

you help him style it and always puts it into a ponytail for him when hes cooking

Kid lets you kiss him only if you can reach his face

he will make you climb on furniture and jump around just to do so

when hes done making you work so hard he squats down only to tease you even more

“can you reach now, Tiny?”

“well now youre not getting a kiss for that”

“WHAT!? NO THATS NOT FAIR! I WANT A KISS AND I WANT IT NOW”

“Im not giving it to you for that!”

“GIVE ME IT NOW I DESERVE IT”

hes so demanding

when Killer sees Kid giving you shit for being shorter than him Killer will push the back of Kid’s head down so you can reach him

You kiss Kid’s cheek and then go hug the blonde while Kid complains that having Killer help is cheating

on nights where Kid is just worn out and actually decides to go to bed when you and Killer do its an amazing cuddle session

Killer has to separate sleep in the middle which he doesnt mind but only does this because you and Kid will Bicker about anything and everything

“STOP laying on me you big red asshole”

“well youre cutting off my oxygen when you lay on my chest” (you dont he just wants to have the last word)

“God you act like you cant bench triple my weight”

“you two fight like children just shut up and go to sleep” Killer had to physically move either one of you to the other side of him just so the poor guy can sleep

there are some nights you and Kid can sleep next to each other without fighting but you two are always up till 4 in the morning giggling and laughing about the most random ass things

“okay would you rather spend 24 hours in an abandoned mall with 10 cobras or 1 gorilla but you cant use your metal arm or devil fruit”

“Well obviously the gorilla because i feel like i could fight it without those”

“i didnt know youre that dumb”

“oh really what would you pick?”

“the snakes obviously”

“you dont know where they are though! one could drop from the ceiling and theyre harder to hurt! at least you can see the gorilla”

“Snakes are more afraid of you than you are of them if you leave them alone you will be fine”

“But if they bite you youre done for”

“Youre done for if you try and fight a gorilla!”

“i personally think i would intimidate it”

“Kid you cannot intimidate a gorilla, you would be better off with the snakes like they said now shut up”

you and kid do shut up for exactly 4 minutes and 56 seconds then start yapping again

Killer and Kid are the best boyfriends that anyone could ask for

[fictionalgap]

I Hate My Coworker (Chapter 3)

Pairing: Modern Au! Barista! Kit Thantalos x Barista! Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Tension, Kit and reader is 18+

Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2 , Chapter 4, Chapter 5

Song Recommendation: Hatred (A Duet) - Kinks

You were absolutely mad at yourself.

Not because you have just made it with that Thantalos girl but you also liked it.

And now you cant stop thinking about it.

"I wanted a bagel with cheese, this one doesn't have any ın it. " annoyed customer complained.

"Sorry. I'll get you a cheese bagel." You took the tray from the customer with a tight lipped smile. You took the bagel and put it into the microwave.

It has been five minutes since you both leave the toilet.

"Where is the toilet?" The same woman asked.

Toilet. Where you and Kit did it. You did it with someone for the first time and it was with Kit and it was in a f*cking toi-

"It's upstairs. It will be on your left. " Kit explained.

"Your friend is really a ditz." She had a mocking smile.

"Hey! You can't talk to her like that! " She said furiously. The woman ignored her comment as she went upstairs. You felt Kit breathing through her nostrils as you came into the real world.

"Don't do that. " You still felt mortified.

"Do what? " She raised her brows.

"Talk back for me."

Kit's face furrowed as she grasp your words.

She looked like a kicked puppy and you regretted what you have just said.

Joseph came downstairs with lots of dishes to be washed.

"Here you go, ladies." He sighed then looked at you both with a raised brow.

"What's this? "

"What? " Kit raised her head.

"It's like you argued again but you don't want to tear each other's throats this time."

You rolled your eyes with a chuckle.

He waited for you to say something but when he couldn't get anything from both of you he said "Well, I'll get to work then. " He said as he left.

Kit was thinking of something as she placed the dishes in front of the sink. You both started to do the dishes as there were no new customers in the shop.

"I'm sorry I talked back for you."

"It's okay. I might have overreacted."

She chuckled.

You looked at her. "What? "

"What were you thinking about when you zoned out and before? "

You blushed at her question. "Nothing."

"Nothing my *ss." She leaned into your ear and whispered. "I've just f*cked you stupid, didn't I? " She said cockily.

You looked around to make sure no one is looking and then you kicked her right boob with your elbow and she backed away with pain. She almost dropped the plate in her hands. She had good reflexes. You saw her almost dropping things only to catch it again. She even catched a mug you almost have dropped.

You giggled hard as you cleaned the mug in your hands.

You saw her clenching her jaw.

You bit your lip and tried not to laugh to not get attention from customers.

"What the fuck, Y/N!" Kit asked angrily.

"You kinda deserved it... with your comment I've never asked for. " You snapped back.

"This is harassment you know. I can report it. "

"Oh yeah, what about the emotional harassment I am dealing for a month. "

She looked at you like you said the world is flat. "You are the one who started it. "

You sighed. She was right.

You turned to her. You wanted to tell her you hated her mother and her company for taking away your favorite place in the world, your memories of your parents which is slowly fading away. You wrote them in detail of course. Every memory in detail in your journal. You kept the photos of you three too but it never compared to being there. Exactly where your parents are.

It wasn't her fault. She probably even didn't know about the parks but you couldn't help but thought of those things when you looked at her.

You didn't know what to tell her.

"I just... I don't like your mom. " You managed to say it and then the door opened and a new customer approached towards your direction.

Kit's mouth dropped in confusion.

You took the order of the customer and started working on their order.

You felt her eyes on you the whole time.

~~~

The day finally ended so right now Kit and you were both free. Joseph let you go earlier. He wanted to stay for some arrangements.

You never spoke after your confession about Kit's mom.

You grabbed your backpack as you left the shop but you felt someone pulling you to the left. You grabbed you pepper spray to temporarily blind whoever that is.

The person grabbed your wrist and twist it to the side before you can use the spray.

It was Kit.

Your mouth hanged open.

Her smile met her eyes. "You gotta be faster than that."

You freed you wrist from her hands with an annoyed look. You put the spray back into your pocket and crossed your arms.

"What is your problem? "

Kit looked at the floor than to you before changing her posture and making herself taller than you.

She cleared her throat. "I have a question. "

"Go on." You were confused.

"You mentioned you don't like my mum. Why?"

Your hurt was visible on your face.

"It's a long story. "

"I have time. "

"It's getting late. "

"Y/N...Please."

You rolled your eyes.

"Fine but I can't be late to home. My grandma would go nuts. So either you come with me or you'll have to wait."

Kit's face lightened up.

"Okay... but will your grandma be okay with me being at your house? "

"Don't worry about that. "

You knew she would be delighted.

@lmaoo-spiderman

[rafesgoldrings]

Okay last little ‘drabble’ (that turned out way longer because I cant stop typing about my kook boys) i’m doing before taking a much needed break because I want @cherryniceties to know what happened the two times Topper went too far🤭 this is part 1/2

For the most part, the boys listened and knew your boundaries when it came to sex. But there was one night when Topper had gone too far, pissed off at his mom, pissed off that Sarah had tried weaseling her way into his life again because she needed something, and he took it out on you. He’d come to your place, where the three of you had been waiting for him, and immediately pulled out a small ziplock bag of coke. He’d pushed the powder into lines, covering one nostril and snorting it, the three of you looking at him in concern.

It wasn’t unusual for you all to get high, but something was clearly wrong and using coke to deal with anger never ended well. Now obviously things had escalated that night, the four of you naked in your king sized bed, Topper had asked to be in control of you tonight and Rafe reluctantly agreed knowing he was upset. But Topper had been too rough, hand repeatedly slapping your cheek, belt coming down on your ass, fingers overstimulating your clit until you were crying out in pain. And then you’d used your safe word, but Topper was too far gone in his high, his pleasure, his anger, to hear you. He’d kept going, gripping your hips firmly and holding you in place when you’d tried to squirm away. It wasn’t until Rafe pulled him off and threw him to the ground that you were relieved from the torture, curling up into the fetal position as sobs wracked your body.

Topper glared up at him, standing back in his feet and shoving his chest “What the fuck dude?”. Rafe just clenched his jaw and pointed at you “You went too fucking far with her. I get you’re pissed off that my bitch of a sister has fucked with you yet again, but you don’t get to take it out on her. Go take a fucking walk” Topper just scoffed, muttering a small ‘unbelievable’ under his breath and heading back to the bed. This time, Kelce stood and joined Rafe, leaving your curled up figure alone on the bed as you tried to comfort yourself. They grabbed his shoulders and dragged him down the stairs before throwing him out “If you come back inside before you calm down, I’ll break your fucking legs Topper. That’s a promise” Rafe spoke in an eerily calm voice, slamming the door shut and heading back upstairs with Kelce. Both of the boys spent the rest of the night comforting you, holding you in their arms as you cried, running you a warm bath, anything they could do to help.

When Topper sobered up, he’d gone home and slept it off, waking up the next morning and going to all your favorite stores to buy you anything he thought you would like. He’d knocked on your door, Jeep stuffed full of gifts, and when you opened it your face dropped. He’d begged you to just hear him out, that he was so sorry for hurting you. That he wasn’t in the right state of mind and shouldn’t have even shown up last night, that the knows you don’t want to see him right now but that he brought you something. It took a few days before you managed to forgive him, the atmosphere being tense between you four until things calmed down.

It wasn’t until you grabbed his hand and guided it under your shirt, his large hands manhandling your tits, cunt grinding against his thigh as you rested your forehead against his, that he knew you were ready to give him another chance. The other two boys watched his closely, ready to jump in if he started going too far, and couldn’t help their growing erections at the little whimpers you were letting out. The wet patch forming on Toppers shorts from your arousal leaking out, hips speeding up in desperation to fall apart on his muscular thigh, it was too much for them. Things were back to normal , now you could all fuck and makeup properly.

Tag List: @sweetestdesire @congratsloserr @xyzstar @outerbankspov @madelynie

[wonopia]

SUMMER TROUBLES | 006. WORTH IT

[WC] . 1200 prev ! mlist ! next

it had been one week since the party incident, also the last time he talked with his friends, and the last time he'd talk with yujin. the last thing he said was "aren't you a guy?" how embarrassing.

that's almost all he'd been thinking about- how much he regretted it, how there were millions of other responses he could've said, how rude he must've sounded in her point of view and of course he wouldn't want that.

he'd been in his room with maeumi doing his summer reading but he'd finished them by now. he even debated on rereading them. of course he didn't, he wasn't that insane.

he decided to go to one of his friends house so he bundled up the courage to go ask his mom who was downstairs watching her show. he carried maeumi until they reached the last step of his staircase, putting her down carefully.

he trudged over beside the couch, "hey mom, can i go to tae's house? we planned to meet up a long time ago so we could start on his summer reading together," his moms series talking loudly over him.

"mhm yeah, go ahead, don’t be home late," she told him, leaning forward into her show.

"oh okay, thanks mom," he thanked, going upstairs to change before leaving to go to tae’s house.

they had never planned anything so jungwon was just hoping that tae was home although this whole time he'd been so busy. at the same time, the boy would rather stay home. it wouldn't hurt to stop by for a while.

so jungwon took the public bus to his place. by the time he reached tae's house, he was gasping for air because of how humid it was. the hot wind was doing nothing.

he heavily knocked on his best friends door. he squeezed his eyes shut when he didn’t hear anything coming from inside the house. getting impatient, he rang the doorbell. he started to fan his face due to the heat and could feel the drips of sweat forming around his face.

he wiped his face using his sleeve as he waited impatiently. he knocked a couple more times before gulping down his regret, what was this worth for?

"after all this time," he breathed out, basically gasping for air in his dry mouth, "gosh tae, where the hell are you?!"

he turned around before running with his hand over his eyes to cover himself from the sun as he sprinted to a nearby house, heeseungs.

"heeseung hyung!" he yelled as he approached the abode, "please, please, please be home.." he whispered among himself.

he knocked on the wooden door, leaning onto the frame, out of breath. in minutes, someone opened the door. it was tae.

"now you! i have mad beef with you!" he exaggerated, welcoming himself in heeseungs house without any acceptance. 

"i thought you were grounded," he ignored his side comment.

"she said i could go to your house because we're working on your summer reading essays."

"which reminds me, we have to work on that," taehyun mumbled, taking a note of it in his head before walking up the stairs to heeseungs room.

 jungwon followed up behind him out of breath. as they walked in, heeseung was lying down on his stomach on his phone.

"what happened to you?" he questioned, "dont tell me vernons dog got loose again.."

taehyun laughed at the thought before jumping onto the bed beside hee. jungwon dropped onto the floor, "gosh my back hurts. you guys live so far."

"you walked here?"

"no shit," jungwon retorted out of tiredness that turned into moodiness.

"why did you stop by anyways?" heeseung asked.

"because i cant handle being at home any longer without my phone!"

"ohh which reminds me.." heeseung started, getting up while pulling something up on his phone, "someone messaged me a day after the bonfire incident."

heeseung held the phone above jungwon’s face, his eyes widening at the screen and attempting to reach for it- before it dropped onto his nose.

"ah shit.." jungwon hissed, immediately getting up to massage his nose.

"oh my god!" hee exclaimed, " i thought you were gonna catch it!"

"what.. what the fuck.."  jungwon cursed, looking at his hand to see blood, "did you break my nose?"

"no way," tae gasped walking over to him before leading jungwon up and to the bathroom, "gosh heeseung, that's one way to treat a guest."

meanwhile hee was kneeled down on the floor, he peeked over to his phone to see some blood smeared on it before cringing, "eww! jungwon, your blood got on my screen!"

it had been a while since won got punched by hee's phone and won was now messaging yujin on it.

"took her long enough to respond," hee commented while waiting for her reply.

"what'd she say?" tae asked.

"uhhh," jungwon slowly started to grin before covering his mouth with his extra hand as he processed what she said.

he flipped the phone around so they could see the message, they were both in front of him laying on their stomachs as won was sitting against hee's headboard.

heeseung scoffed as taehyun nodded, "this soobin guy got some nice friends. we're not friends with any girls, why's that?"

"you guys aren’t, i am," wonnie told them, gesturing to the phone.

"friends?" taehyun wondered, "yeah sure."

"i mean she’s gotta be into you a little bit."

"why do you say that?" won asked.

"probably because she messaged me about what was up with you the day after you didnt reply to her," heeseung told him, "and look at how she’s messaging you. she was asking all kinds of questions, she want’s to talk with you."

"thats how a conversation works, dumb."

"yeah but wonnie, you have to think about it from her perspective," tae jumped in, "i mean.. she said she's been waiting for your message or something, now that has got to mean something."

the phone buzzed in his hand, "guys, she asked what we're doing?"

"well.. what are we doing?" tae asked.

"you can’t actually say what you're doing," heeseung told tae.

"and whys that?" tae and won asked at the same time.

hee sighed, "do i have to do everything? no wonder we dont have girl best friends," he rolled his eyes, "just say we're all doing our own things on our phones."

"he's literally using your phone, dumbass."

"so much for doing everything," they retorted. 

jungwon typed in that they were just talking about how the bonfire party had gone and that they were waiting for sunoo to arrive, which was partly what they were doing.

"now why would you say that?!" they both exclaimed.

note: i love where everything is headed. pls comment your thoughts freely, i love to hear people theories etc.

© wonopia 2024

open TAGLIST: @nodiotter @ilovejungwonandhaechan @sol3chu

[hollowpointwords0o]

Not stopping

18 or older>

Based on a dream i had, so i am gonna try to write this as best as i can. This is a Jensen imagine.

Jensen: You are an actor on the show, your Deans love interest and ere comes a kiss scene, After the actor yells cut do you stop or continue.

Warning:: Smut. Fem oral, P in V Protected sex. Slight Daddy kink,

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You were getting ready for your scene with Jensen, Jared and Misha. You joined the show only a few months ago. Dean and Sam found your character (Mac) when they were hunting and took you into the bunker, things just took off from there.

"Y/N we are ready for you on set." you nodded and got the final touches of the makeup done. Walking to the set, heart pounding. Why though? Oh yeah cause your dumbass is in love with Jensen. Knowing you shouldn't be because he's married but it happened and you wish it didn't. Jared is the only one that knows about this. He over heard a phone call with your mother.

*FLASHBACK*

"I know mom but what can I do. I love him but I'm not allowed to. Fuck why did my heart have to pick Jensen?" "You love Jensen?" Jared screamed.

"Gotta go mom. Dude you can not tell anyone what you heard okay. Promise me."

"YOu know his married right.

"No shit Jar. It's not like I meant to fall for him. Please don't tell him"

"I wont but you should before things get worse." You just nodded my head and he walked away. Of course you didn't say anything. And now your here on your way to kiss the man you secretly love.

"ACTION"

Dean: Dammit Mac you cant just run into a nest of vamps like that. You could have gotten your self killed.

Mac: But I didn't and I had to save the kids.

Dean" Just do not ever do it again. You can't be that stupid.

Mac: Oh why do you even care Dean. Since I got here all you do is tell me what I do wrong. You could give two fuck less if i died.

Dean: You wrong.

Mac: Oh yeah and why is that.

Dean: Because I love you. I have since the minute I met you. Dammit i can't lose you. I won't.

Dean/Jensen walks up to you and kisses you. *CUT* calls the director. But Jensen doesn't pull away and neither do you. the kiss deepens. His hand finds your waist while yours finds his hair. Jared walks up and pulls you two apart. He looks at the both of you and says that they yelled cut 2 minutes ago. "excuse me" . Speeding walking, more like running the hell out of there and into the bathroom. Locking the door behind you, sliding down the door and started crying.

Why did you have to kiss him. Why didn't he stop. Does he feel the same way. So many thoughts run through your mind. Getting up you go your trailer, grabbing your keys and leaving.

It's the weekend thank god so you have time to figure things out. Jensen tried calling. never answered though. Monday rolls around and you have a meeting with the directors.

"I need to leave the show" They nodded knowing full well why you are leaving. Back at your trailer, Jared walks in seeing you pack your things.

"Are you leaving" Words would not come out so you continue packing. "You can't just leave Y/N. If this is about what happened you can move past it. It will be okay..."

"LIKE HELL IT WILL BE JAR. IT'S TOO MUCH. THIS IS BEST THING RIGHT NOW"

"What about Jensen" "What about him. He's married. Happily i might add. He doesn't love me. He doesn't want me." You finished packing everything in your box. You took off your necklace that you wore since the first episode you were in and set on the table. Jared looked at you and his eyes filled with more sadness. Taking it off meant you wanted to leave this whole thing behind you and not just the show, but the town. He hugged you "Don't be a stranger he whispered. ANd with that you walked out.

A few hours later you were at home packing. Not everything but enough to stay with your mom until you get things in order.

*AT THE SET*

Jensen is houting your name looking every where he can. Worry flooded his mind when he couldn't find you. Finally he goes to trailer in hopes that you would be there taking a nap and that's why you didn't hear him. Walking him he sees Jared sitting at the table with his head in his hands. "Where is she man1' "She's gone dude"

"What you mean she's gone." "She left Jensen. Shit got too much and she left" "What shit. Man what are you going on about?" She's in love with you man. Has been for a while. And that kiss made things in her head blur. Why did you have kiss her like that." "I don't know man, Things have been blurred for me too okay. But I don't have time to explain please just tell me where she is. "

"Like I said man she's gone" Jared but the necklace in Jensen's hand. Looking at he knew. Shoving it into his pocket he ran outside and to his car. But it blocked in. Looking around he sees one car that isn't. BABY. He drabs the keys from the set and hops in. Speeding off to your house. The whole time shouting and praying that he gets there in time.

He slams BABY into park and runs to your door knocking on it as loud as he could.

As your packing you hear a loud banging on the door. Heading down the hallway you open the door. Only to see a panting Jensen at your door. Before you could speak he chimes in.

"You cant leave. The show, the town or me. Okay I need you here with me Y/N. Since I met you all I can think about is you. I look forward to seeing you smile and being around you. Okay that kiss it wasn't Dean kissing Mac, that was Jensen kissing Y/N. I didn't want to stop. When Jared pulled us apart all I wanted to do was pull you back in. I love you baby. Please don't go. " He waits for you to answer. You stand there for a minute. "What about your wife" "That's over, it's been over for a while. We are just holding out for the kids." Before getting a chance to sat anything his lips were on yours.

Once again the kiss deepens. He kicks the door shut with his foot and pushes you up against the nearest wall. His hands roam your body while yours tugs at his hair. A slight moan leaves his lips, turning you on more. HIs lips move down to your neck, biting hard, for sure to leave a mark but right now you don't care. You tug at his shirt. "Impatient are we" He laughs. You nod. "Jump" You jump up and wrap your legs around his hips. He walks to your room. Laying you down on the bed he kisses you again. Tugging at his shirt once more he finally takes it off. You hun your hands up and down his abs which earn a slight moan from him. He helps you take off your shirt and bra which he undoes with one hand. His lips find your breast while his hand plays with the other one. "Fuck" you moan while arching into him

He switches breasts and hands. Moans escape your lips and you feel him smirk while sucking on you nipple. Jensen kisses down your stomach and stops right at the line of your jeans. Helping you take them off he kisses the inside of your thigh. He licks a strip between your folds causing you the throw your head back. Jensen starts sucking on your clit. "OH shit Jensen" You moans while tugging at his hair. He groans at the sound of his name leaving your mouth in pleasure. He adds a finger, then two. Moans and profanities is all that you can make. "Jensen Im..I'm close. Oh fuck gonna cum" "do it baby. Cum for me, let it all go" And with that you scream his name and cum hard. So hard it cause you to black out for a second. You open your eyes to see a surprised Jensen. "Damn babe I think you squirted. That was hot. Do it again for me yeah." Before you could protest his mouth was back on your clit and fingers pumping in out of you at ungodly speed. "OH GOD JENSEN YES> FUCK DONT STOP RIGHT THERE." You came quicker then before and harder. Squirting once again. Jensen comes back to kiss you. Making you taste yourself. Your take your hand and rub his hard on. "As much I want to feel your mouth of my dick I need to be inside you right now. He takes off his pants and grabs a condom from his wallet.

Climbing on top of you, he looks at you one more time, nodding your head "yes" And with that he slowly pushes inside you. Giving you time adjust, "Move" He moves slow giving you time but you can tell he wants more and that's exactly what you tell him. "More Jensen please" "Baby I give you more I won't be able to hold back, i will pound this sweet tight little pussy of yours raw. You won't be able to walk tomorrow." Do it" Jensen's sped starting increasing more and more. Pounding into you just like he said he would. He goes faster and hard the more you moan and scream for him. He groans and moans in your ear. Fuck how is is possible to get more turned on while getting railed. To deep into your thoughts you didn't hear him. He halts his movements which brings you back to reality.

"Oh look at my pretty little slut. Too dick drunk to even listen to daddy's words. I said you won't cum until I tell you to understood." Words won't from so you nod. This causes Jensen to pull out and slam hard into you. "Words darling. use your words" You didn't though. Mind fuzzy, you didn't speak. which again cause Jensen to pull out and slams into you. "SHIT" you moaned loud. "YES I understand daddy please just move. I need you" Jensen smirks and moves once more. Nails digging into his back. God" he groans in both pain and pleasure. He sits up on his, grabs your hips and pulls you closer, going harder then before he takes his thumb and pushes it hard against your numb. "Yes right there. Oh god." "Wrong darling. Me. God don't got shit to this with this. It's all me. Making you feel this good. Making you dick drunk. Me who is causing those sweet moans to come out.. He grabs your hand and puts it on your stomach. "Feel that baby. That's all me, filling you up." He grabs your neck making you look at him. " Do not moan god's name again." He goes back to fucking you senseless, and rubbing your numb. You clench down against him. Trying to hold it in. "Jensen I can't hold it. I'm so close. Please."

He shakes his head. "Not yet baby. I'm almost there okay hold it for me yeah. You can do it. With in a few minutes his thrust gets sloppy and his breath pick up. "Come with me Y/N" You and him let go at the same time. Riding out yall's highs he stops and lays on you for a minute before laying beside you discarding the condom into the trash can beside your bed.. You turn to lay on his chest while trying to calm your beathing.

"I love you Y/N . Will you be mine." He looks at you with eyes pleading. You smile and look up at him. "I already am" HE smiles and kisses you one last time before pulling the cover over you and falling sleep with you in arms.

************************************************************************

First time writing something like this. I hope you enjoy.

[am-i-the-asshole-2]

AITA for not apologizing to my mom after she deeply upset me?

I'm 23F and still live at home (🏠HOUSING CRISIS!!🏠) with my parents and 3 siblings. I've had a pretty rocky relationship with my parents, but DEFINITELY moreso my mom. She tends to never apologize for things, leaving me to be the one to apologize to *her* just to keep the peace in the house.

I just got my first job and have been really struggling with the fatigue and time constraints that come with it. Recently I had a particularly rough week with 3 incredibly busy and disastrous shifts on my own back to back, and was really looking forward to using Sunday to sleep in and try to relax and take care of myself.

My mom is Mormon, and insists on bringing us all to services with her, but we'd been going so irregularly lately and she hadn't said anything about it that I just assumed we weren't going (I always hated going and she was well aware of this, I've been trying to get out of the church for years now but because she won't let me stay home from services I literally cant). I got woken up on 5 hours of sleep with an announcement that I had to get up *right that moment* if we were getting to church on time. Sleep deprived, still sore after my shifts, and having been woken up literally 2 seconds before there was nothing I could think to do but yell a "no, I don't want to" at her while rolling over to face away from her.

She got Mad, yelling at me for "whining like a baby" and "you *never* want to go so this isn't any different". After it was clear I wasn't getting up, she opened my door to leave the hall light shining directly in my eyes and turned off the fan to my room to try to get me up, two things I have specifically told her in the past not to do because they *really* fuck me up and make it impossible for me to even attempt to relax.

It was at this point I told her that she can't *actually* force me to go and her only response was "yes I can" and that she wouldn't drive me to the store later that day like she'd promised if I didn't get up (I have severe anxiety that keeps me from driving, a time sensitive project I needed supplies for, and another family member was relying on me to get supplies for them too so it wasn't even my own shit on the line (she didn't even end up taking me for reasons farther down))

I did get up eventually, and spent my entire shower crying because of how exhausted I was. I will admit, I actively did not try to be quiet because a small part of me knew she'd be able to hear me and maybe she'd know how deeply this hurt me. Every time I'm dragged along I feel like she doesn't respect me as an adult that can make their own choices and that she should still have this much control over my life.

I ditched services halfway through because it was too overwhelming and when she called me after they were done, I impulsively decided not to pick up the phone. There was nothing I wanted less than to talk to her at that moment. When my sister called me moments later I immediately picked up to find out we were leaving early and it turns out this was what made her snap. My dad even asked me what was going on and my only response was "I don't think mom respects me as a person" to which he replied "she doesn't think you respect her either" (we Have had our fair share of arguments in the past that always tend to go this way. I genuinely don't think I really do respect her anymore)

It's been a week now and my mom still actively refuses to talk to me and avoids me whenever she can. It's obvious what she's doing because she's perfectly kind and happy when speaking with everyone else in the family, but hasn't said 2 words to me since and the times she *has* spoken to me have been short, passive aggressive digs at me. I know at this point she's probably waiting for an apology from me but I'm tired of being the one who has to make peace. I don't think I did anything wrong, and I'm tired of being treated this way, but I can't tell if I should just suck it up to make it easier for the rest of the family.

So. AITA for how this has gone down? Should I just apologize and try to get her to move on?

[singledeadpoet]

TW: Topics Of Suicide

The Week After I Killed Myself.

Monday,

I watched as the time ticked slower and slower,

I could feel my pulse in my hands,

Burning edges to a paper that can never be read how it was wrote,

I forgot to leave a letter,

Now my parents are left to wonder where they went wrong.

Tuesday,

The news reached my best friend,

I don't know what he does, but I wish I was there to comfort him.

The news comes on the same,

Police chase,

The weather,

Politics,

And the weather again,

But my parents don't watch.

The faucet in the bathroom drips,

Raising the water bill because I forgot to make sure it was fully off.

My mother would flip it off for me and not say a thing even after it being the fifth time that week,

But now she's trying to remember the way I used to play in the sand,

Before the move,

Before she knew what was happening to me.

When she thought she could still save me.

The school is notified,

But my grades don't weigh me down where I am at now,

I don't have to try so hard to matter anymore.

Wednesday,

The letters in my room are just letters now.

Ones that will only be read maybe once more,

Though it'll never be said how many times it saved a life, I'd hope you knew.

My stuffed animals have not slept in days,

Without a cold body to warm what place do they have in this old house?

The neighbors find out.

Condolences are sent.

Not one has my real name on it.

Thursday,

The funeral I arranged for Saturday,

Because my mom is always off work then.

I do not know who comes, or what is said,

I do not know where or how I was buried,

I was not old enough to pick it for myself,

Knowing my parents I'm probably a diamond, or a tree.

The letters have been found.

They know.

They know I loved you,

And you loved me.

I would have joked about how awkward it'll be when you see my parents again,

But my mom hugs you this time

And says she hasn't seen her baby happy like that in years,

And you both forget where you are for a moment ,

Dream,

Hope a little it's a different situation.

Friday,

My mom is going through my stuff.

My phone first,

She'll find out we were more than friends,

She'll tell my friend I am gone

And she won't know if it's a joke,

But when she sees what I've written

The sinking feeling in her stomach will be all too familiar

After, she'll go to the store,

See the man who always used to ask me how I am,

And break down in front of the produce.

Saturday,

The baby breath is half dead,

The lavender makes the air tense,

There's a mix of regular clothes and formal wear

I would have laughed at anyone who bothered to put on a suit.

I would have said how pretty you looked

My mom compiled home videos and photos from the last year's,

Though there's only a few she thinks are really me,

And they're usually the ones where someone else is with me.

She says the usual:

The "kind"

The "smart"

The "talented"

The "too young for this"

Or maybe she'd say nothing at all.

Ask you if you'd like to say anything and I couldn't hear it.

I always wanted to know what you thought of me.

Sunday,

My room is still how I left it,

The coats on the hanger

And the boots on the outside the closet door.

The books,

Dusty and un-bookmarked,

They'll search for me here,

But none of the words will sound like my voice,

And my mother will keep the video of me.

The video of me as a kid laughing close to her chest.

She wonders where I went when I got older.

How was this grave her baby?

How could I leave her behind after all of the things I said without an apology.

After all that's been done for me,

It was a waste to love me,

That's what somebody would think,

But I won't know for sure.

Whether im in Heaven, Hell, or Nirvana,

I won't come back.

I won't be able to run my hand through your hair,

And I cant feel the warmth of another hand to remind me I'm still here.

I can't hear the music,

I can't hear the screams or the pleas,

I'll be at peace,

But I'll be no more than I am now.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Oooh songs for the yandere weasels? I got some suggestions! (I'm not trying to one up you spookifi, I like the idea of themes for these scary skrunks and I wanted to add onto your ask. I hope this doesn't come off that way)

'Leave me Alone' by Alexander Ryback, for Stupid. This song is purely in the POV of the stalkee, and conveys the exact feelings you'd have for a stalker that follows you everywhere, like Stu would. Not to mention the upbeat tone of the song fits his more upbeat character (compared to the other weasels).

🎵 You're scaring mom and dad, scaring off my girlfriend. You're waiting by my door early in the morning. I've told you many times, don't follow me at night! You're poisoning my life! Just tell me why!🎵

'Super Psycho Love' by Simon Curtis for Greasy. Technically not a yandere song, but the pure lust the singer feels, along with how insistent they are that you're gonna be with me does seem to match Greasy's tone. Even if he is more... Aware that Y/N doesn't want him.

🎵I know you want me too. I think you want me too. Please say you want me too. Because you're going to. Say that you want me every day that you want me every way that you need me, got me trippin' super psycho love!🎵

'Painkiller' by Three Days Grace for Wheezy. The singer acting as if they are what's good for the one they're singing for. But in actuality, they are the ones slowly killing Y/N. And they know it. (Not to mention the drug connotations with the song goes with Wheezy's addiction)

🎵You know you need a fix when you fall down. You know you need to find a way, to get you through another day. Let me be the one to numb you out. Let me be the one to hold you, never gonna let you get away.🎵

'Snow White Queen' by Evenescence for Psycho. Another song sung from the perspective of the stalkee. How they feel violated, and how they have to try to hide from this person who claims to know them, all the things they say to them (Psycho sharing all of his twisted dreams and fantasies), and how this person insist that they're 'theirs'. Not to mention the haunting tone I'd the music and lyrics go with Psycho's more horrifyingly unhinged nature.

🎵Stop light, lock the door, don't look back. Undress in the dark, and hide from you, all of you. You'll never know the way your words have haunted me. I can't believe you'd ask these things of me. You don't know me now or never!🎵

'An Unhealthy Obsession' by The Blake Robinson Synthetic for Smartass. The unhinged music and delusional lyrics go with how Smartass carries himself as 'better' than the others. Along with how he uses his sources to find out everything about Y/N.

🎵You just don't know it, but you love me and I love you the same. One day, we'll have a pretty wedding and I'll be your everything. You don't know it, but baby, I already got your heart. 🎵

(Also, since 'An Unhealthy Obsession' is a duet between two stalkers, this could be used for Greasy and Psycho when they're both after the same Y/N. Or any other combination of the weasels)

Well that's my thoughts on this. What do you guys think?

Oh I loveeeee these choices as well!! @spookiifi , what do you think of these ones?? ^^

I wanna join too now XD

Greasy:

I think you guys really hit the nail on the head with this one!! I cant think of anything as good right now! 😅😅😅

Psycho:

Fly On The Wall, Miley Cyrus

I just think the icky, buggy visuals and the insane stalker vibes are on point here.

Don't you wish that you could be a Fly on the wall? A creepy little, sneaky little Fly on the wall All my precious secrets, yeah You'd know them all

Smartass:

The Haunting, Set It Off

*So I struggled finding a song for him but when I listened to this one there was something very Smartass-y about it! 😅 I'm thinking this is how he would be if you managed to get free of and safe of him- bitter and horrible, and totally deluded into thinking that you're a crazy bitch/ he's the only one who could ever deal with/love you, and you will miss him.

Someday you may find that picture perfect guy And I'll chase my words with poison Until that day arrives, and swine take to the sky Fill your void with open thighs so

No one will love you like I did Will treat you like I did So go on, wear that scarlet letter No one will love you like I did Will touch you like I did So good luck finding something better

Stupid:

Tag, You're It, Melanie Martinez

*Okay so this one was gonna be for Greasy- but the more i listened to it, the less sexual it felt. More... obsessed. Just- gross, mindless, depraved, want. So,.. yeah 😅

Eenie, meenie, miny, mo Catch your lady by her toes If she screams, don't let her go Eenie, meenie, miny, mo Your mother said to pick the very best girl And I am

Wheezy:

Blood on a Rose, Everybody Loves an Outlaw

Very manipulative!

Your voice in my ear The world disappears So I'll fall again You can keep me right here

Russian Roulette, Rihanna

MY GOD this is him. Making you feel like you have a choice when he has the situation under his complete control. Even the fake kindness!

Say a prayer, to yourself He says, close your eyes, sometimes it helps And then I get, a scary thought That he's here, means he's never lost

[what-if-nct]

Yo its been such a long time I'm sorry. How's everything going? Are you doing well? Are you feeling well? World've better treated you well. I wanna throw a fit when not. I totally love your insta its too cute!!! Also your clothing style, you actually dare to go out in that? I cant believe it I wish I was brave enough to wear cute clothes but ppl are assholes in my surroundings so I probably wouldn't dare to- I love your style so so so SOOO much.

I mightve fallen back in a (not too severe) Mark Lee obsession and a (very severe) tgcf obsession. Also scumvillains self saving system, I bought volume one only my mom read the backside of it, which is about someone being a half demon and she tells me not to buy it anymore. I'm probably still gonna buy it because I wanna read the happy endingggg (same for tgcf but the next volume i should buy has a very sus cover so I have to hide it from everyone XD)

I have Mark Lee hanging up my wall and once in a while, I stand there and take a selfie with Mork. Its kinda tradition for me now.

Mannn i wish I had stuff to sayyy TT anyways 🥋 anon actually deserves the world so wtf is going on like actually. He didnt do anything wrong right then why is all going on and also why can't people see? I get so fucking angry and upset whenever I see ppl making fun of mental health and when i hear abt how people treat him, and I'm not even the person it happens to!! Like why must world be so unfair, like God may take all the happiness I have and give it to him. Please

That turned a little deep i'm sorry. Some people would just need to know (also 🥋 yeah ily amd ill never stop saying it) (i'm still gonna start a fanclub for him)

-sneeze

(Ps theres a character from tgcf who is canonically a dilf, and kinda turned into the god of coitus and hes scared of women) (hes my fav I love him so much) (his title Ju Yang meaning perfect sun was once misspelled as Ju Yang meaning tremendous masculinity and boom. Ppl started praying to him for sex and kids) (sorry i love that dude too much)

Hiii! And I'm doing fine and I'll stay fine as long as I stay away from people once the pms kicks in I think that's been my problem the past few months. Gotta seclude self during the moon time. And thank youuuu, you're so sweet and I do go out dressed like that. I really don't notice people when I'm out, so I never think twice about it until a creepy man says creepy things like please don't look at me. Only women and guys who look like Timothy Chalatmet and Heir Of Atticus are allowed to perceive me. But I rarely hear anything negative. But seeing my reflection in store windows and hearing girls yell they love my outfit is all that matters. Oh a girl who worked at the grocery store told me she liked my outfit and when I pulled out my card my Jeongin photocard was in my wallet and she asked if I liked kpop I wish I could've said more to her she was so cute but I was shy. So it's worth it to dress however you want cause for every person who has something mean to say there's 10 people with something nice to say. Also how you think you look and how it makes you feel is the most important part. I suggest you at least once to wear a really cute outfit just on a normal day.

I don't know what has gotten into mark lately but I totally understand falling back into it. He's at full power right now. Don't look directly at him cause he's collecting people left and right. Hes still like my boyfriend's kid brother so he doesn't affect me. But I definitely see it, his power. But that is so cute you take a selfie with your picture of mark. I kiss my pictures of Hyunjin or Chan before I leave cause they're right by the door. Their great traditions to have.

I've never heard of tgcf but it sounds like really cool, and yeah it sucks that his mental health is being disregarded it's not okay and he deserves so much better.

[vervainium]

the relationship between an older brother and a younger sister is so important to me. my brother and i are close to ten years apart. growing up, we lived in a very small run down town. he was like the popular guy of his school and he had this massive friend group of fifteen to twenty boys. and they were all super tight.

coincidentally, most of his friends would have younger sisters around my age. and there was a time where me and my brother shared a room. many times i was forced to coexist with fifteen high school boys and their girlfriends. i actually very enjoyed it.

one time, in my brothers senior year of high school, i was eight, and my dad had this habit of telling my brother, "take your sister with you!" whenever he went over to his best friends house, because his younger sister was my best friend, even to this day she is my childhood personified. so, this one night towards the end of my brothers senior year, he leaves to go to his best friends house, and he takes me with him, at about 9:00 pm. me and the little sister are squatting out in the living room like we always do and my brother and his friend are in their room. after a few hours, they leave and come back thirty minutes later with fifteen high schoolers trailing after them. and each one of them turns towards the two second graders, who have made a blanket pallet, and say hello. each one of them smiles and whispers hi. and then they disappear into the bedroom. then thirty more minutes later, my brothers best friend has pizza delivered to the door and by now its maybe 12:30 pm. upon retrieving the pizza, he motions for us to join him and their friends. so we do, we get up and follow him into the room. i think i took a mental screen shot because i remember it in big detail. four of them were playing mario cart on the tv that was on the wall the door was on, three were in the bean bags in the back corner, two were on the bed, and the rest were in a semi circle spread out next to the bed. turns out that my brother has insisted on getting a smaller pizza specifically for me and the little sister. i remember feeling so cared for. i ended up sitting in my brothers lap while he played mario cart, watching him play and eating pizza. i ended up falling asleep, i can't remember where though. probably on my brother because i can't remember anything after watching the tv as he played. but i did wake up on the bed with the little sister and my brothers, at the time, girlfriend who i loved and adored. the rest of them had taken the floor and bean bags. the little sister and i made them all break fast with her mom.

moral of the story, its such a core memory to me. the understanding between siblings is so important and its almost sad to think about. i'll never experience that feeling of being loved and remembered again, and i'll never be that close to my brother again (we do still watch a movie together whenever i see him because we're night owls and love old christmas movies). basically, take care of each other. that kind of caring sibling love is something you cant ever replace or find anything quite like it. i hold onto that memory with everything i have, even if he thinks it was something small.

[algolstare]

Hey thanks for answering my questions - I'm so sorry you ended up in urgent care. Pretty sure same would happen to me. My situation is I just live at home with my dad in a shit hole, mom's dead. Older brother moved out few years ago but he's in precarious position. My dad wants me to wait on him hand and foot, and says outright I can't leave or have any kind of life. He needs me to basically do all the work in the house. He also hits me and verbally abuses me all the time. People we know are aware of situation and are sympathetic but are too frightened of him to challenge him. Strangers will tell him it's not right now he speaks to me out in public and I pay for it later. These people I never see again but they're right. He's just lazy violent pos and cos I have no money or job I'm stuck. He thinks I'm too frightened to tell on him to police or go for help. He doesn't know I'm making plans tho. DV shelters or assistance like that won't help with out a police report. I go to police might as well measure me out for my coffin. I have no real friends. Housing won't help because if I leave home for apparently no good reason I will be classed as wilfully making myself homeless. I cant work to save up cos my dad fucked up my last job and gets violent if I even mention looking for one.

I'm basically a prisoner. My brother lives far away and dad doesn't know where he is cos he cut him off. Cos my dad thinks I'm too frightened to disobey him for real even he is paranoid about the possibility (fr hes batshit crazy) and is ignorant about internet computer stuff I am in touch with my brother. But I can't stay with him for long cos of his landlord finding out. I thought I could just pack and walk out and crash at my bro's. I also thought I'd figure out stuff when I was there. But my gear is like my art stuff , computer, clothes, personal belongings self care stuff plushes and family bits and pieces. I don't know how I'd get them out the house with out my dad noticing. Even if I could do it a little at a time I would have nowhere to put them for storage cos don't have anyone but my bro and he's too far away to keep going back and forth to collect it safely.

I read all your advice and it's made me rethink all that because I am woefully unprepared. I think I'm gonna have to just pack my backpack with basic necessities and just go. I have to arrange a time with my bro and he said he'd pick me up away from the house. The only time I can get out of the house is when I have to do the shopping. My dad is home all day (he gets disability) so it wouldn't be weird for me to go out with my backpack as usual long as it's not bulging. I'd just say I'm going to get his food and then fuck off and meet my brother.

Literally I cannot delay any longer. It's reaching crisis point. I know I should plan it out further in advance for the future since I can't stay at brother's but I might not get this chance again. My brother seems to be getting cold feet tbh. I just am gonna pack bare essentials take grocery money and go. I am desperate teddy. I try and sneak out door it's not gonna work I see that now. Thank you for listening and your advice. I just wanna get out the house safe and figure rest out later

I'm so, so sorry lovie. That's such a horrible painful situation to be in.

If it helps at all... I didn't have, & still have yet to land, a job too - it was still possible because I had people willing to open up their home to me, to help me w/ transport costs, & everything. Asking for help even like, as a general ask to an online crowd, can be terrifying for so many reasons but it can truly change so much. Beyond that, depending on where you live, at least some places have state/gov-maintained jobseeker's resources that can make things So Much Easier to access information & even training. I'd recommend looking into if your area has anything like that!!

That's what I thought too, I know it may differ based on location, but where I landed it ended up being a myth used to discourage victims from leaving or seeking help. Not all organizations require you to file a police report, or even disclose to them who your abuser was, in order for them to help you. If you haven't already looked into the individual orgs' policies, I would really recommend doing that too, because if that is the same for wherever you are, it could be life-changing

That is a terrible terrible policy & whoever came up with it, I hope they get back every last bit of suffering they've enabled tenfold. I hope with all my heart there is a way around that. If you're comfortable, I am always open to look into things on your behalf, if you message me here whenever I have free time I would be glad to try & find stuff - sometimes places won't even tell you upfront on their websites & you have to call, which is ridiculous, so often calling isn't even safe.

I'm glad you're able to keep in touch with your brother safely.. thank goodness your pos dad is ignorant. I'm sorry, I know how hard it is to give up sentimental things, heirlooms, art, plushes - all of those are so meaningful & precious, & especially where a hobby is your lifeline in a situation feeling like having to give it up to get out is hellish. If there's anything small enough, I managed to take some sentimental things by shoving them into my clothes, in between necessities too. It wasn't enough to make the loss all better, but it took some of the sting away

If you leave your computer, I'd recommend doing what I did if you can - take out the storage drive at the last second, & take it with you, so that he can't access the info on there!! It was a vital part of my plans before I left, & it meant I was safer. Granted my family is also at least somewhat okay using computers, so it's a bit different. But only if you can get it apart quietly, safely enough, of course

All of this looking into resources could be done after you're out, too. I get the urgency. If you don't have wifi at your brother's, I'd recommend going to the nearest library to his place - they have So Much. It's been one of the Most helpful places to me since leaving

I'm so proud of you for getting this far. It takes so much to survive it, let alone actively try to change things for the better at the same time. I'm cheering you on!!! I believe in you, you are worthy of better, you are worth the effort, you are worth the trouble of doing difficult & scary things. Every life has dignity, yours included, please keep that to your heart when you feel discouraged. You are always welcome, & I am wishing for your happiness!!

[orangepunkwitch-blog]

Ahem... I know that I've got way more followers here than I do my personal blog, but I haven't had much worth posting here.

Until now..

I'm putting a little "read more" thing cuz there's gonna be some TMI and I'm not exactly uh.. done experiencing this yet.

It's day 2 of my period, my hormones are rampaging, mom's at work, and my dad and my muž ran to the store to pick some stuff up. Perfect. I've got some time to satisfy a need that I couldn't otherwise without risking being heard cuz this cheap vibrator (hi, I'm poor) is stupid-loud, this is a 1-story house, and I don't need to risk getting carpal tunnel with nitrile gloves.

I had a fucking orgasm scared out of me because my bedroom door MOVED BY ITSELF )in the way that if a door at one end of the house is opened, then another at the opposite end will move, cuz this house wasn't built by qualified people and stuff. I thought my cat left through her little kitty door (she didnt) or that someone got home early (they didnt) and I figured that if it was the latter, my mind was in a state of not caring, and I finish up.

I clean up, leave my bedroom to go to the bathroom and OH LOOK SOMETHING WALKED STUPID-FAST PAST THE HALL DOORWAY AS IF SOMEONE WALKED FROM THE DINING ROOM TO THE LIVING ROOM. I quickly dart out of the hall to see who (the direction they would've gone leads to the window and there's no other rooms in that direction) and NOBODY WAS THERE.

I'm also feeling, like, not home alone at all. So I go to the bathroom and if it's an intruder, I'm ready to beat some ass with the filthy plunger cuz I gotta pee and change my pad, fucking try me, whoever you are.

I finish up, wash my hands (as I type this I'm HEARING DOORS MOVE AGAIN) come back to the bedroom, and for a quick answer, I use the pendulum. (My room is warded heavily) I ask all 3 of my gods if it's them, if it's someone I know, or a human spirit. I got a no on all 3. Best answer I got was a snake spirit? Not the gazdik/domovoi.(?)

Soooo I'm not leaving my room for anything until my muž gets home. I'm actually, as I type this, a bit too spooked to play anything on YouTube thru his Xbox right now. My cat, Luna, is by the electric radiator not caring about the situation.

It's not whether I'm in danger, it's that I don't often get enough privacy to take care of some sexual needs on my own, so it REALLY FUCKS UP MY PLANS WHEN I CANT EVEN GET ANY SPIRITUAL PRIVACY. WHY CANT THEY WAIT UNTIL IM DONE?!

I've got a werewolf spirit that has chilled within my area near me because he's fascinated with me, he knows I've also got a monster kink, BUT EVEN HE SEEMS TO RESPECT MY BOUNDARIES AND GIVE ME PRIVACY AND NOT ACTUALLY SEE THAT AS AN INVITATION TO JUST SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME WHEN IM JUST TRYING TO SOOTHE MY RAGING BEAN. (I legit think he's too afraid to interact with me. Haven't gotten around to really figuring out more about him. Long story?)

And as I type this (my phone autocorrected things that didn't need it so I had to go over this post again for edits), my muž just got home. I can finally have my chicken nuggets. I'm gonna ask him if he's seen or feel weird shit since getting home since he's WAY more sensitive to spiritual activity than I am.

[thebigmandownstairs]

rant about my roommate

i try really really hard to be patient with her, because i know why she is the way she is. she grew up living with her mom, who is the type of person to yell at everyone to get out of the house, and go on a mad cleaning spree, and would get pissed if anyone did anything in a way she didnt like. because of this way of growing up, my roommate is absolutely awful at cleaning up after herself, because her mom would always do it. shes never lived alone, shes never been in an environment where she is forced to realize that all of the mess around her is hers. its easy to think, when you live with roommates, that a smaller percentage of the mess you see has been caused by you than is the reality. you forget who put what plate in the sink, or who took out the trash last, it makes sense. so i try really hard to be patient with her. i try to implant tidbits of life advice into her brain because she doesnt have a ton of common sense (she is very smart though). i try to teach her things like not putting parchment paper in the oven, using thin glass on the stove will lead to boiling hot broken glass everywhere, leaving the door open to the balcony overnight lets bugs in, etc. but shes really pissing me off today especially. this morning i heard her break something glass (olive oil bottle) and my first thought was, oh shit, im going to end up cleaning this up, and i think im right. i had to close the balcony door that she left open, i had to clean up ash from incense that she burned without using an incense holder (she put it in my plant >:-/ ) that she just let drop on our coffee table, and i almost fell on my ass from the olive oil that she didnt bother actually cleaning up. she cleaned up the pool of it, but she didnt bother to wipe anything down to make it not slick as shit. so now my floor is slippery, which i would be surprised if she actually bothered to do something about. also she didnt even bother to pick up the towel she used to wipe it up off from the floor. side note, on saturday i cleaned the kitchen after doing a good bit of baking, loaded the dishwasher, and left a few things in the sink that wouldn't fit. in the time it took for the dishwasher to finish washing the dishes i had in there, she managed to completely fill the rest of our 2 basin sink with dishes. i left a sticky note with a ? on it on the towel on the floor, because what the hell????? and she put it on the sink and added an arrow pointing at the dishes from when i cooked last. i cant believe that she has the gall and audacity to get on my ass for 1/2 a sink of dishes after i have cleaned up after her nasty ass time and time again. i cant count how many dishes ive pulled out of the sink, how many pieces of silverwear ive had to pick up off of the floor, pieces of produce that ive picked up off the floor that she doesnt bother to do anything about after they fall when shes cooking, or how many times i have had to pile up her shit into one corner because she treats our living room like an extension of her room and leaves her school stuff, clothes, and shoes on the couch. i hardly even end up cooking because our kitchen is constantly nasty. i commend her for cooking so much for herself, but i want to bash her head against a rock becuase of her piss poor ability to realize and give a shit about the fact that she is sharing a living space with another person. i know that to her im probably a neat freak, but im really not. im not above leaving dishes in the sink, or leaving spills on the counter when i really just cant be fucked to do it, but i dont leave my spaces gross because i dont walk around with my eyes closed pretending like the trail of gross i leave behind me doesnt exist. fuck. i dont feel like im being unreasonable, like holy shit realize other people exist and are affected by your actions

[cyber-ii3]

june 6th ; 2023

Lately ive been researching about hikikomori’s. Hikikomoris in japan are basically shut in’s. Everyone sees it as a male issue, but that was never the case. The fact is that it was just overlooked in women. I was thinking about hikikomoris because I remember that at one point of my life, I was really convinced that it wasnt a bad life path at all. Being alone, isnt something im afraid of. I grew up with it. I know how to be alone, I know how to entertain myself, but I dismissed the idea because even though I knew how to be alone, it didnt necessarily mean I liked it. Even now, where im the most social ive ever been, I enjoy going out. But the hikikomori lifestyle stays in my mind. It weighs it down. I cant stop thinking about how I could so easily fall back into my old ways. I could be stuck in my room, only coming out for work and school, and its not like I do much school anyways because a majority of my classes are online. Am I already on my way? Am I spiraling into that situation? These days I haven’t been leaving my room. I smoke, I barely eat, I play video games, I indulge in my hobbies, and I enjoy it, but this sense of being lonely and missing out resonates deeply inside of me, yet I have no motivation to disturb the peace the ive harbored up until now. Im a 19 year old girl, and i have friends, but we aren’t close. I have no one that im interested in dating, nor am I in any contact with any past lovers. I live with my parents, and I have no desire to leave. I love being near my mom. Being near people who accept me--because I know that if I live alone, I will never find anyone to fill that role. I dont want to leave this house because I understand that I am the type of person that can swim in loneliness and not seek out anyone around me. I already have trouble messaging people back. I think thats my problem. Im lonely, I want to be around people, but when people reach out to me, i have no motivation to continue a relationship with them. Am I the problem? Perhaps. I feel pathetic knowing that the open door is right in front of me, and yet I cannot get up. I cannot stand up and take the step towards it to find salvation. These days, I often wonder if Ill ever get married. Imagining myself in a situation where I am loved deeply and vice versa is farfetched. I feel as if there is no room in my heart for the possibility. It saddens me but I also accept it because its most realistic, and I don’t hold any hard feelings for things that are realistic. Its much easier to live life going with it instead of against it. Is that a lazy mindset? I wonder. I dont like conflict. Theres already so much conflict in my life that I cannot control, that when Im approached with things I can control I tend to take the scenic path. To love, and be loved. I dont crave anything too deep besides familial love. I feel satisfied with just that. But am I satisfied with what Im doing in life right now? What will happen to me when I no longer have family to cushion the creeping despair of loneliness? Am I destined to be alone? Am I unlovable? Too complicated, too strange, too abstract? I wonder...I wish I did not though. Wondering always leads to unpleasant thoughts.