#killed because she just doesnt fucking care and i cant DO anything about it i cant keep them safe on my own

[electricpurrs]

i life is fucking falling apart out of nowhere and i dont know what to do sbout it

[n3onwraith]

I'll kms if we move actually.

[megabuild]

im sorry scott but bdubs would NOT want to terminate that child, he WANTS the child, etho on the other hand,

do you think bdubs is prolife

so bdubs is weird because hes a feminist #women but he is also lowkey minecraft catholic and has some weird traditional views so yes i think he was prolife outside of very serious cases he just doesnt talk about it because once he made some comment about life starting at conception and cleo laughed in his face, brutally, which is the number one way to make bdubs shut up about anything, so he keeps going about his life with these views but like now sort of buried deep and weird about it but it doesn't matter because like he's gay and so it's never going to be an issue for him or so he thinks until he gets boypreggers because xisuma fucked the code because everyone on the server was being too fucking gay and careful and the matchups meant no one was getting pregnant and he NEEDS a personal anecdote to cite in his next rant video on why we should listen to people who try to firebomb fertility clinics, so anyway yeah bdubs is boypreggers and frankly he probably would want to keep this if it weren't for the fact its ethos because etho is a freak, etho is not even human, etho would be the worst absent mother and wouldnt even be absent, she has like 3 robot kids but a real sentient thing with flesh is out of the question cause then she'll start putting her cigs out on it, but bdubs cant get an abortion because thats agaijst his morals so he builds a new arena that etho can kick his ass in and hopefully itll like kill the thing in him and he can feel guilty about that and go to confessional and develop a new type of ocd over it but at least nobody has to know because he can pretend it was an accjdent, unfortunately by virtue of building an arena with etho the server gets set on fire before he can finish it and when they migrate to the next season the code resets and his womb is made barren. ethubs continue like nothing ever happened and xisuma makes a rant video on kink at pride instead

[justcallmesakira]

hihihihi AUGH i love ur work sm?!! omg if u can fyodor with a younger sister (she has the same level of intelligence of him and works in the doa and his organaization) who is dating dazai? :) I know there are some but i need crack and suggestive!!1

ty and er bye good luck take ur time!

"Fyodor with a sister dating Dazai''

Sypnosis: Your rat brother is anything but happy about the fact that you are dating his only enemy on earth! Good luck on surviving!!!

Genre: crack, suggestive at the end

Warnings: bombing, terrorizz, , mentions of maniupulative behaviour, mentions of verlaine, roblox radgoll, loads of simping words, me being down bad, making out (lol), your mom

A/N: my reqs are currently closed but ehhhh who cares lol also THIS WAS SO HARD TO WRITE HONESTLY- pls enjoy and reblog i tried my best--- *dies of mental ilness*

How bro-

JUST HOW DID U DO THAT W/O HIM BLASTING DAZAIS INTERNAL ORGANS? 🤯🤯🤯

No bcs fyodor did not even plan to let u meet dazai but ofcourse bcs of the dead apple tower and stuff and since then he had completly fallen inlove with you whether you are dostoevskys sister or not

He prob asked u to do a waltz with him in the mukokukokurokito or whatver the phuck that towers name was when you entered the castle with your brother

Fyodor WAS NOT happy because he saw the flirty glint in dazais eyes when u came

If looks cold kill-.. (KILL ME, RUSSIAN ZADD😍😍---)

And all you went was giggles and flirting back

Fyodor is prob gonna get his own medicine bcs they two are so like each other??? but he still couldnt believe how you with such high intelligence could fall for him???

(fyodor take your anemic medication first)

Dazai obv had some skeptics after you but like the manwhore he is and prob slept with the entierty of yokohama! ofc hes gonna court you as if you might not just use him!!!

Very (not) normal behaviour indeed!!

HELP YOU KNOW THAT ONE INDIAN RIZZLER VS. UWU CAT??? HES LITERLY THAT BUT

Dazai: "I fucked your sister she be screaming high pitch😈" fyodor: "What did you say, you little child i will crush your skull 😡😡😡should have known when i smile, I also play cello, i can be anything Уву"

that was UWU in russian btw-

But in all serious he will try maniupultaing you or gaslighting you into leaving dazai, he cant leave his only family to a man he does not trust! fyodor doesnt even trust himself-

fyodors gonna act a bit more colder then usual bcs of the fact HIS sister is dating someone and that someone is his enemy

Honeslty you go up to say chuuya whos like "why do i get deja vu-" *flashback to verlaine* you: "First time?"

But ofc since you are also extremely smart you somehow convinced him (after playing roblox radgoll with him for 8 hours) to let you atleast join date with dazai

I bet you rizzed up dazai by "He said his favourite colour was blue, so i blew him up😍💣"

*insert proud brother noises*

He speaks in russian or any slavic language whenever you three are in a gathering to mostly embarress dazai

I have seen some hcs on dazai being a collarbone biter so if you were off shoulder shirts and fyodor sees them by chance hes going to glare at you as if you are covered in mud :33

"Sister,,,what. is. that." *nasty side eye to the love bite on your neck*

Dazai 100% one time randomly pulled you into the alley and started aggresively making out with you with his hands literly sprawling all over your body like hes daddy long legs or sth-

Bcs HE KNEW that fyodor had cctv set in that part of the city and fyodor would be raging at the fact that the sluttiest man is touching his precious sister like that

bros gonna forgot abt human rights- oh wait hes russian

IF HE EVER CATCHES YOU TWO THO--

Like making out on some bed or sth hes actually no LIKE ACTUALLY GOING TO throw a whole ass cabinet at dazai with a face full of nothing but malice-

"How dare, an inhuman animal like you touch my very sister" "BRO CHILL I AM YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW--"

And your just trying to stop your brother from commiting murder even though that his hobby ^^

fyodor finally forgot he had anemia bcs now all his focus was to give dazai the most painful death know to the medieval period\

Good luck on stoping your brother from poking a fork in your lovers eye in family dinners!!

A/N: guys ik i am doing the valentines req pls be patient i am trying my best!! i have a relly bad mental health rn so yeahhh-

Divider crds!: @cafekitsune

tags! @silverbladexyz @biscuits-lovely-corner @riiwrites @heartsfourdazai @tojifile @atsquie @atlasnessie @chuuyasboner @yosanosboner @ruanais @darling--angst

[chuuya-kisser]

im finally free so that i can fucking scream abt bsd 117 and tell my thoughts on this heartbreaker of a chapter (will def make another post feeding my delusions)

(spoilers utc)

firstly.

ASAGIRI. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUXK ASAGIRI. ASAGIRI WHEN I CATCH YOU ASAGIRI I THOUGHT YOU WERE KILLING-YOUR-CHARACTERS-PHOBIC?????? NOW YOUVE MELTED TWO IMPORTANT CHARACTERS IN TWO CHAPTERS???? WHOS GONNA GO NEXT CHAPTER HUH WHO'S NEXT IN YOUR DEATH NOTE

well

Uh yeah so anyways basically heart broken for multiple reasons so we'll go in order

1- aya. oh my gosh aya. shes what, a ten year old?????? and in the span of a day, she has found out about a vampire lord who is responsible for destroying or saving the whole world, shouldered the responsibility of getting said vampire lord away from the enemy to save the world, developed a father-daughter relationship with said vampire lord, sacrificed herself and got saved by him, believed that the world could be saved now, saw her new father figure's body be torn apart and replaced by a greasy ratass who wants to destroy everything or whatever, with said new father's last words telling her to run to save herself, being saved by said father, then having him dissolve and die again in front of her eyes again. shes a ten year old. what the actual fuck. oh and don't forget, she doesn't know that she lost her other father figure too!

gosh she is going to be SO traumatised and even that is an understatement i really hope she has the strength to recover

2- so akutagawa is back huh? about time, about time (though im not very happy about the cost it took- but atleast he's back?)and he has agreed to protect aya on brams wish? thats surprising honestly, so im wondering if the stuff atsushi told him while fighting him at the airport or whatever affected his subconscious or something so that he consciously wants to start protecting people?

OR maybe! he sees a bit of himself in aya or smth? i mean look i dont exactly remember what happened before he met dazai and was taken in by him okay, dont come at me. but maybe he sees that terrified little kid and something stirs in him or smth anyways go akutagawa go you're her third father figure please dont die again ‼️

(also he looks so good-)

3- and the biggest bombshell

kunikida.

KUNIKIDA‼️‼️ NO NO NO THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY HAPPENING PEOPLE THIS IS NOT I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT I AM IN DENIAL

just- THINK ABOUT EVERYONE. think about atsushi and tanizaki. who saw him disappear slowly in front of their eyes, to buy them time. think about fukuzawa. who wished for kunikida to be the next president because he was the most ideal. who cares so much, even if he doesnt show it as much. think about aya. she has such a deep bond with kunikida, and now she'll have to face the devastating news that one of the only people who truly believed in her is gone too. think about ranpo and yosano.

think about dazai. who is much too far away to do anything right now, who miscalculated once which led to him being too far to stop fyodors rampage in any way. who was truly doing all this because he wanted to keep the detective agency safe. who, when he realises what will happen next, his first thought is to warn them. who was his new partner, kept him alive, even made him a part of his schedules. who i think he must have to care for, even a little bit.

dazai, who thinks that anything worth wanting is always lost the moment he obtains it. and its happened again. and by the looks of it, it will happen again.

i genuinely want to know how he'll react but i dont want to at the same time. gods i cant fucking do this man

like huhhh asagiri are you tryna make me cry or some shit???? Because youre succeesing SPECTACULARLY

also- are we gonna see tanizaki get liquefied too next chapter? because this panel sure looks like it

im scared for september now like what else are you gonna throw at us, huh asagiri? and what do you mean i have to wait a whole month this is crazy

and i am STILL in denial and will continue to be in denial guys wdym, ofc kunikida is alive and well! hes coparenting aya with bram, having fun at the agency and stuff ‼️‼️ hes perfectly peachy theres no helicopter singularity out for everyone's lives!!! (wow this post is LONG)

[moraloreldeservedbetter]

Id like to talk about Clay as a father,

(I dont have my thoughts together about this so bear with me)

So everyone knows hes a horrible father, but i think that in his own twisted way he tried to break the cycle, which allowed Orel to become the father he was shown as in the last episode.

Now, obviously it took Clay some time to actually try to be a father, because until Orel was 4 he neglected him, i like to think because the thought of being the same thing as his father was too much for him, but neglecting was also too much and he couldnt admit thats what he was doing, so he was torn and felt worthless. (Clay literally says he didnt know how to be a father in trust)

In Passing you can see how Arthur was hurting by Angelas death and took it all out on Clay by hitting him, which clay saw as approval. Now with Orel, Clay does so much more than that. While Arthur basically threw old gunny in Clay's face and said "fuck off", Clay actually took Orel hunting. (Or attempted to) and because Arthur didnt take Clay hunting as a kid, Clay drank, a lot more than he usually does. (He always has a glass in his hand, but in Nature he was just chugging bottle after bottle) It could also probably be because he didnt have any responsibilities except for killing animals, so he could drink and relax but i like to think its because it was hard for him to do anything father and son related when he didnt know how fathers are supposed to act.

Also, Clay states "If i can prepare you for the bleakness of adulthood, i've done my job" which i think he had to figure out on his own, with no mother and a father who doesnt care about him. So, again, in a way, he tried to be a better father than Arthur.

ALSO!! the fact that Clay never tells Orel "I love you" back probably shows that he doesnt know how to say it, so thats probably something Orel picked up from Bloberta, im just not sure in which instance she would ever say "I love you" to her family, because she doesnt love them. (Other than trying to prove Orel wrong, like them pretending to love each other in Grounded and Gods Blunders.)

I think that when Clay was saying something and trying to piss Arthur off, he was trying to say "I love you" and when Arthur hit him back, he took it as "I love you too, son" but eventually, Clay saw it for what it actually was, which is dementrated in Trust because he actually states that he feels worthless when in his fathers presence. In fact, the only time Clay ever says "I love you" in when in the presence of another man, to another man.

I think Orel tries to see this, too, despite his hurt from Clays abuse becuase i believe whole heartedly that he lets his children see Clay and Bloberta, if he didnt he wouldnt put a picture of them on the wall next to Block and Shapey.

I have more thoughts on this but this is just too messy and im not normal about anything in this show

(Side note, in Sacrifice Clay is walking out of his study and copys Shapey when he says yummy, and interaction is only something that happened before Angela died, i cant see anything positive happening between Clay and Arthur after Angela died so uh yeah)

oh i agree

i DEFINITELY agree

clay is the embodiment of "i will not be my father" and decides to be somehow WORSE

[hiemaldesirae]

playing around with als demon form (and clothing). i rant a bit about character design under the cut

its a little difficult to land on a design i like for alastor in particular because its so difficult to make him look like "himself" if i dont include key elements like the very shape of his silhouette. characters like velvette or charlie can get by with hairstyle changes or clothing swaps but with alastor, i find that its nigh impossible to have him look like himself if i switch out any elements of his silhouette. that and his eyes, as theyre so expressive and basically show how he's feeling where his expression cant i feel like its impossible to change anything about his eyes and make him still feel like *alastor*, at least at my skill level (if i oneday manage to make a version of alastor with a mustache and not immediately after want to kill him and myself i will be able to die happy) also i could take out the monocle but tbh even though it doesnt fit his time period it honestly makes him look better so im making him keep that on.

when i go to redesign things and change them around to my liking theres only a few things i can do: ex, i have to focus more on adding details that should be there instead of trying to subtract ones that shouldn't be (and yeah that includes the wackass bob). i also kind of have my hands tied when it comes to like, trying to actually connect back to both his deer and radio motifs because i swear to god vivziepop was not fucking thinking when she decided to make him the radio demon. his base design has literally NOTHING to do with the radio so i have to be super careful with how i approach all of it when im trying to redesign and work details in otherwise i end up veering off course and creating a whole new guy.

so for this, theres a few things i tampered with. for one, the suit he's wearing is monochromatic and boring (and i wont take shit about it being animation because if lucifer can have 10000 tiny annoying details and his stupid fucking tophat then alastor should be able to wear more than one fucking colour with his clothes) so the first step is to get some more colour in there. red with gold trimmings fits well with the appearance of old cathedral radios, and as a plus, it makes him look like he has a more cohesive outfit (as well as one that fits for the job!) instead of a colour scheme and clothes combo nearly as horrific as denim on denim. and of course the radio in the chest can replace the atrocious attempt at complexity in his outfit (is that a harness or a shirt pattern? who knows, not me!) . pants are a lot simpler but i dont really want to tackle the lower body just yet because i dont really know how i want to approach the animalistic vs non animalistic features sort of thing for his design. oh and i put in a ribcage corset because its a banger idea and it makes him look better honestly

[ludinusdaleth]

i feel like the mere idea of bringing up orym & ludinus and their entwined threads of fate is taboo, but i cant stop thinking about it.

orym is a rare, nearly impossible kind of protector - a guard, somehow not attached to a corrupt, brutal system. he just wishes to protect his home, his leader. but ludinus, via otohan, attacks this peaceful place. he turns the ashari cautious & agrieved. he turns the society of air into the eye of a hurricane. orym is turned into a widow. his title as guard is marred; he failed. maybe zephrah is forever marked as a battleground & graveyard, now.

orym walks across tal'dorei & marquet, slowly healing beside his friends, protecting them as best he can. but then he learns who killed his family, and she kills his friends, too - and him, for a moment, giving him visions of his dead husband, reopening the wound. he is in the eye of a sandstorm, tinged red by the moon. he is a pilgrim no longer. his attempt to be a guard has once again been thwarted. maybe you cant have peace if you're a protector.

orym is at the center of the goddamn planet, the leylines aligning as he witnesses his leader fall at the hands of otohan, again at the center of his home's wound, and ludinus, again pulling the strings. a protector far stronger, more capable, than him, adorned in feathers, alight with divinity, falls worse. his friends are flung to the far sides of the world. he once again fails as a guard. maybe a guard is too small in the scale of this world's forces to impact the tide at all.

and so, orym nods to laudna as she rips bor'dor's life from him. he shears his hair ever more, adorns tougher armor. he makes a deal with a hag, desperate for any chance someone he cares for could maybe fucking make it out okay - even if his vastly increased sternness to keep them safe pushes all of them farther into fear of their own. he sneers with unfathomable anguish as he sees ludinus at the volcano and wastes every one of his action points to rip his soldiers apart. he uses ludinus's harness. he takes the willmaster's power. he keeps pushing into the bloodred storm. he could never be a guard right. so it is time to be a soldier. to truly protect must mean to run to the source of all of it and end it once and for all.

all of the bells have been forged by ludinus, a horseman of war, but orym takes it most viscerally. he does everything in his power to stop ludinus, but in a way the elf has already won - or perhaps, in his need for exandria to be "saved" (as he percieves his actions will do), he's failed, but the bells have still lost. because this new generation isnt at peace. they arent even heroes. they are soldiers. orym more than anyone else has accepted that is his life, his death, his fate. there is no goal of his that doesnt end at ludinus. ludinus, who just like him, lost everything in a war involving gods. who has felt the way the world keeps turning, unbothered by what destroyed his society. who uses that accursed harness to take power for a cause. who doesnt want to force someones mind to get what he needs, or kill, but does, because it is necessary. who has pushed himself to the point he is a means to an end more than a person, willing to rip himself apart because he doesnt matter, his goal does. who cant see anything but war on the horizon anymore.

when the two are mentioned together it causes folk to bristle. the idea orym could be in ludinus's shadow is seen as a suggestion that orym is evil as him. but, thats not what i intend. it is a terrible thing, watching someone's gaze harden after tragedy. once a long time ago, as the gods fought across exandria, ludinus saw his world destroyed. and so he enacted a plan to ensure that would never happen again. that they would suffer, and mortals would thrive. but his plan was a god's foot, trampling mortal society upon society. and so orym saw his world destroyed. and he knows killing ludinus is how to let it mend. as the two march forward, in a second calamity, i can think of nothing but the first scene of exu: calamity, when pelor & asmodeus fought as avalir fell below them. despite ludinus's raging, incredible hatred of the gods, the biggest tragedy of all is that mortals really are crafted in the gods' image: and he, & orym, are most representative of that endless cycle of war, of this war, a failure of the past generations, of ludinus, to ensure a "true" freedom of mortals. of peace.

willmaster edmunda was a terrible person, but i fear she was on the right track when she spat at orym "some would like to live in harmony [with Exandrians]. some... know the nature of violence, that others like you carry."

he would never have carried it if ludinus had not dropped it at his feet.

[certifiedstarrr]

stone cold - c.s pt.2 of "i'll beat her bitch ass."

pt1

ೃ༄

femvolleyballplayer!y/n x comforting!chris

warnings: cursing, crying, intentional lowercase, no grammar used (intentional), detailed brutal fighting, mentions of death, ig triggering topic, use of y/n (sorry?) ig angst???

summary: somerville won the semi-finals and amelia's team goes home. amelia should wish that she hadn't said that because y/n doesnt play when it comes to someone talking about her boyfriend. shits about to go down.

this is set in some random ass au that i can’t really explain😭

p.s sorry to people named amelia, no hate to y’all !💗

also be kind to others please !!

don’t like don’t read !!

find some other shit to do.

not proofread (a bitch don’t got no time for that shit)

this is my creative work and i do not approve of plagiarism in any way. i also do not approve of reposting my work onto other apps or anything of the idea. SSTVRNIOLOO 2024.

a/n: HEYY , so this is your surprise fic series ive been working onnnn ~ also my laptop stopped working so i don’t have the option of typing anymore, so it’ll be on my phone or ipad. (mostly ipad though) 💔

wc: 2k

enjoy !!

ೃ༄

im going to beat this motherfucker up.

how dare she slap me, tell chris is only dating me because im just a "good fuck", and saying didnt love me.

im going to beat her so bad that her nose is so fucking crooked. so bad that she cant speak. that shes hospitalized just as long that i was when she injured me.

after she slapped me i pounced on her. yanking at her hair & jaw to get her to look at me.

"whos laughing now, bitch?"

laughing, i bitch slap her right back and punch her in the nose. nobody even dares to fucking touch me. no one.

i jump on her pounding her head onto the glossy gym floors. throwing many punches at her nose and face, practically drilling my knuckles into her faceーwith. no. absolute. mercy.

i didnt care how bad her injuries were gonna be. i could actually care less.

my white jerseyーwell, previouslyーwas now splattered with her blood.

"yeah get her ass !!"

meghan yelled from the bench. i love meg.

nobody was really going to stop me. i probably looked like a monster.

"please stop!! im sorry !"

amelia yelped and screamed. i heard herーloud and clearーbut didn't give no fucks.

throwing punches directly at her nose, hoping to complete my goal of making her; already hideous nose; crooked as hell.

her face drowned of ruby red coloured blood. her mouth draining of blood and face bruised and cut.

i could practically kill her. but do i want murder charges though? no.

i looked at her twisted nose in proudness & enjoyment. he nose was perfectly crooked how i wanted it to be.

all this timeーwith out realizing itーi'd also been fighting off the refs and amelia's teamates. i was also tuning out the repeatedly blown whistle.

well too late. the damage was done. she was definitely fucked up.

its called payback, bitch.

ೃ༄

she surprisingly got up, stumbling around before she threw a hand at me. she punched my nose and scratched my cheek.

i felt the burning sensation on my cheek and my blood sprinting down my cheek.

“you motherfucker!”

she furiously yelled at me, with tears running down her face, mixing in with the blood.

my eyes shot down to the gym floor. it was one big puddle of blood. i grinned crazilyーlike a fucking serial killer.

we were both standing in fighting positions, ready to quite literally kill each other.

i caught chris’ big blue orbs staring at me. he was also grinning. he knew the rivalry that me and amelia have; that’s why he never stopped me.

the crowd was chanting my name. they all backed me up on this rivalry comepletely.

our faces were both decorated with blood. but mine didn’t have tears streaming down them.

i knew i was going to penalized for the tournament. i most definitely was; without question.

this beef wasn’t with any of our other teammates, it was only between me and her. though everybody knew what amelia did to me last season.

the referees and her teammates finally pulled us away from each other. both screaming profanities at eachother.

but suddenly whilst she was walking back to her bench. she fell. its all because i knocked her outー

stone cold.

ೃ༄

as my coach walked me to the locker room, i heard cheering, applause and more loud chanting of my name. they all knew the beef between amelia and i.

i got to the locker room with my coach and sat down.

“you’re expecting me to yell at you or something, hm?”

my coach monique said.

“yep.”

“well i’m not. i’m so proud of you for beating that bitch up.”

coach monique laughed.

“thank you! i thought everybody thought i was a monster for doing that”

“you’re a monster on the court. but thatーthat was just handing pure business.”

“thank you coach”

coach monique walked back out the the court to settle my team and talk to the refs.

suddenly, chris walked in to the locker room.

“oh hey chris”

“hey baby”

he went in to hug me but i gestured no.

“unless you want blood on your shirt, i don’t think you should.”

“i don’t really care”

he hugged me tightly and i hugged right back.

“so how’d the fight even start y/n?” chris questioned

“well first she slapped me because i was supposedly “cheating” then told me that you were only dating me because i was a “good fuck” and you didn’t love me”

i explained calmly.

“that little bitch.” chris said low-toned.

“and that’s exactly why her nose is crooked as fuck”

i grinned, remembering how her nose looked.

“i’m gonna go back to the stands and get to car.” chris said.

“okay see you in a bit baby”

he gave me a swift kiss on the lips and walked out the locker room.

i grabbed a wet towel and dabbed at my cuts and bruisesーa burning sensation each time i dabbed at them.

changing back into my clothes and taking my sports bag. i head to the car and greet my friends.

i hated the media. and now they were following me.

i stepped out the door and walked to car where all my friends were. i ran up to nick first.

“hey babes!” nick said excitedly.

“hey nickk” matching his same energy.

group hugging lauren and angelina (angie) happily while getting tons of dumb questions from the media that was previously following me.

also greeting matt aswell, making sure to make him smile.

ೃ༄

parking into the driveway, me, matt, chris, and nick got out the car and heading inside the house.

nick and matt went to their rooms, leaving me and chris to go to our shared one.

“i need a shower” i said.

“okay baby i’ll go after you” chris said.

..

i closed the bathroom door and started stripping my clothes off. once fully done, i stepped inside the shower, turning the water on and letting the water stream down.

the water mixed in with the little blood that was left on me. falling on the shower tiles.

i took my loofah and put soap on it and watched it grow soap suds on it. i got lost in relaxing feeling of hot water and sudsy soap. it just rejuvenated me.

..

hopping out the shower, and drying myself with my towel. i threw on my clothes that were laid out on the counter. i opened the bathroom door and felt the cold air rush past me.

i stretched out on the shared bed and get a call.

it’s from my aunt. she never calls me. why now?

“hey y/n it’s me”

my aunt sounded like she was crying. but why?

“yes auntie?”

“y/n y-you’re parents died.”

i dropped my phone on the bed.

no. this is some kind of sick joke.

my eyes darted everywhere, trying to register what i just heard.

they couldn't have died. i saw them last night when they flew to London.

when they disappointed me telling me they couldn't make it to my game. i had totally forgot about that when i looked around in the stands.

then, i broke out into a loud, ugly, sob.

chris’ eyes immediately shot to me.

“what happened y/n??” his voice laced with worry and concern.

"my parents- they-" i couldn't finish my sentence.

"take your time ma" chris said gently.

i could hardly believe my parents died. it just wasn't possible.

chris hugged me tightly and kissed my forehead, trying to get me to calm down.

i sobbed. i loved my parents so much. sure we weren't on the best terms with eachother lately. but i still loved them dearly.

and the worst part is, the last thing i ever said to them but "i hate you both"

"chris the last thing i said to them wasn't even i love you!" i wailed, still sobbing.

"shh y/n" chris calmed.

then chris just held me there. no words. no sound. nothing.

just silence.

he knew what had happened by the hints i dropped.

i just couldn't bring myself to say it. not yet.

ೃ༄

i awoke, wrapped in chris' arms. i looked over the time,

1:56pm

a solid 13 hours of sleep.

yet i still felt tired.

i had no energy. so many missed calls and texts.

i knew what they were all gonna say,

"We're so sorry for your lost! If there's anything we can do to help let us know."

well you most certainly cant fix those empty parental figures;

hell, i'm an orphan now.

so bullshit.

i opened tiktok bored out of my mind and started scrolling.

i saw a tiktok of a girl who looked around my age with both her mom and dad , doing a dance.

why cant that be me?

..

i was at my desk a couple minutes later, hatching a plan.

because what if my parents really weren't dead,

what they faked it?

well its time to find out.

chris woke up groggily,

"morning ma" he yawned.

"morning baby" i answered swiftly.

"what are you doing?" he asked.

"we're flying to london."

extra: soooooooooo this took so long for no reason but here it isssss.

school was beating my ass fr fr

but thank you for reading !!!

taglist: 🏷 @lovingmattysposts @elliesturniolo1 @elliewrites1 @sturnsbitch @luvmxtt @vanteguccir @chrisstopherfilmed @novasturniolo03 @tyjna6 @sturnlova @sturniolo-lover1317 @patscorner @ak47b1tch

(comment here to be on my taglist !)

[permetutotheworld]

unrequited marylene marlene’s pov where she writes about it

requested by @nyx-taylors-version

This is stupid i dont even know why im doing this but Lily said it would help so here we are. I like mary.

That didnt help and lily is a dirty liar

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

she smiled at me today and called me over, i dont want anyone but her to say my name ever again

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

there’s a party tonight in the tower, i’m going with Mary as friends. It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does. But then again, you never know, mary’s never said she’s straight explicitly! Lily says im being delusional but a girlie’s gotta be a little crazy sometimes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

she likes a boy. Im not a boy. Ill be okay, it’s just a silly crush she means everything to me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

im need to get over Mary i can’t go on like this it hurts too much, every time she smiles at me a knife twists in my gut and im winded for a second and i hate it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

she’s leaving. Shes leaving hogwarts. Her family is leaving for america to avoid the war i cant i dont how can i i dont care.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

is it wrong to wish i’d never met her? To wish i never had the chance to fall in love like her? Probably but she’s anyway so it doesnt matter. I wish she wasnt leaving

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

she’s leaving today and i feel like im dying, everyone’s crying but i just can’t make myself, what’s wrong with me? My best friend is leaving for another continent and i can’t even being myself to shed a tear or two

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

shes gone. she left and i couldnt even look her in the eye. she was sobbing and it killed me to see her upset but i coulnd’t do anything but hug her and wish i lived in a universe where Mary Macdonald didnt like boys

and now she’s gone, and a part of me left with her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i miss her

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

three years later, 1981

mary, hi

marlene here, of course you’ll know that because of my shitty handwriting, mary i

everything’s gone to shit mary, lily and jamss are in hiding dorcas is dead gone and i miss you. Please come back don’t come back Mary its too dangerous, it would kill me if anything happened to you, you probably shouldn’t even reply to this, they’re checking all owls coming into the country, it really is a shit show over here

and mary, if anything happens to me, you’re my best friend in this world, i would do anything for you so please do this for me

stay away from britain. stay away from the war, get yourself the fuck away from all of this, even further than where you are now and live your life safely, please, i cant lose you

i have to go, peter’s knocking and it seems important

live a good life Mary Macdonald

love from

marlene

x

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

19th july 1981

the mckinnon’s were found dead early this morning by sirius black

We at the daily prophet extend our condolences to the friends and family members left behind.

[angstflavoured]

long rant about wheatleys fandomication and how much i despise it vvv

like sorry, i dont understand how you can play this game and make Wheatley anything BUT a stupid, pathetic incel. HE was the one that woke Chell from cryosleep to save HIMSELF. it was never about her, he didnt know who she was or that she was important. hed killed 10k+ ppl cus he sucked as his job and he didnt fucking care, he just needed some human somewhere who could do puzzles and use the gun to help him get out. and then chell fucking helps him and the worst she ever does is simply NOT SPEAK TO HIM. she isnt even rude or mean or do anything to endanger him. she just doesnt give him attention. and then when they are both about to escape HE BETRAYS HER !!! and then has the AUDACITY to turn the wholeee thing around like he was a malipulated victim. he acts like chell was going to leave HIM when she LITERALLY LEFT NO INDICATION OF DOING SO !!! SHE DIDNT DO SHIT DAWG, and people who make an argument of him being "underappreciated" are fucking insane. he was doing the whole thing to save his own ass, and was rude to chell the entire time. he sounds a little polite bc hes british, but dude. the very first thing he says to her face is that she looks terrible. he very obviously despises humans and doesnt care about them, its shown throughout the entirety of the game. he talks down to chell like shes stupid the whole time. when he does betray you and try to kill you, its VERY relentless and without remorse. hes not doing it for attention, he just wants you fucking dead.

and then even at the VERRYYYYY END OF THE GAME !!!! when theyre are both being pulled into space. he asks for HER to let go and get herself killed so he can fix things.

AMD THEN EVERYONE JUST FORGOT ABOUT EVERYTHINNGGGG THAT HAPPENED IN THE FUCKING GAME BECAUSE HE SAID SORRYYYY??? HE SAID SORRY ONE TIME ???????????? AFTER HE LOST EVERYTHING like theres a huge pattern of him only being nice and apologetic when he KNOWS that hes weaker and cant win. hes a coward.

and like 70% of the fan content i see of him is him being so nice and polite and complimenting the person he's with and showering them with love. like BRO IS NOT RESPECTABLE !!!! HE SUCKS !!!! HE WOULD NOT BE A LIKEABLE PERSON !! or worse people make him really cool and sexy which like 😑 CMON BRO HES A LOSERRRRRR !!! LOSERCORE HE IS NOT COOL IN THE SLIGHTEST HE SUCKSSSSS

i just will never understand why ppl who love a character so much will strip them of everything that makes them who they are just to fit their comfort needs. like just ?? go consume different media with nice characters??? 500% of the reason i love wheatley is how much he sucks. if you dont like that, i dont understand why youd even gravitate towards liking someone like wheatley.

[rookpaw]

(clutches head and writhes around on the floor) charlotte wh is so fucking. guh. like. (chronic yapping alert + full spoilers under the cut)

you're brought up and raised under a false assumption that you're a genius, the kind who appears only once in 100 years. you're, essentially , coerced into a shady surgery leaving you in (implied) constant pain and permanently stuck with a body that's inaccurate to your mind. and you do it out of devotion because you were a child who'd been thrown away once and by fucking god you need someone, something to latch onto. so of course you'll do anything for the source of that feeling of having your life mean something. having your efforts acknowledged, and being needed. but of course, it's a lie. always was. it falls apart in front of you. should you not be useful, you'll be thrown away. and of course, that breaks you. because well, you kind of always knew that. and you're left to die, in extreme pain, alone. and then you're dead, you've lost everything, and you're forced to simmer on it in a quiet, silent hell where your sole company is unfeeling demons. and you stay in the loop, eternally, re-experiencing your death over, and over, and over.

and like, the quiet, passive hatred charlotte is written with when in the context of all of it is sooo... augh, especially with her parallel to the loud, aggressive lime. charlotte's hatred for humans is distant and nihilistic- people use each other as tools, they deceive each other, attachment is pointless because it's going to be fake anyway. everyone takes the shortest route to benefiting, regardless of who has to be used. her lines about how "kindness and forgiveness allows for evil". her repeated insistence on just killing the other three to noel. you cant trust others. you should just hate everyone, its easier. its why she, at the end, doesn't understand "love" either. because to her, it's always been deception, and something others will take advantage of, so whats the point?

and it's why she bets on ashe - he affirms everything for her. both are people who's extreme devotion to their family caused them to do anything for them, by any means necessary - to harm, to use, anything. i think, to an extent, she can see herself in him. and i think she sees herself in noel too - her hint of sympathy in the hourglass scene, urging him to just give up because it'll end poorly, like it did for her (even if in a different way).

and like, throughout the game, charlotte has this sort of snide detachment from basically everyone. constantly talks about how other people annoy her and how she wants to see as much suffering as possible. but whats always been apparent to me about her is this back and forth she has of very, very slight affection for others before immediately burying it and deciding she "doesnt care". we see it with fiona in the 4th side story in the base game, we see it with noel in the hourglass scene, we see it with claire in the bonus stage, we see it with lime constantly, especially with how she broke down after losing her (if im remembering right anyway, still gotta finish my replay of the sirius conclusion). like, she always immediately covers it up - when in presence of the other demons she claims its part of her scheme, and when not she simply acts like she doesnt actually care. but it's so constant with her that to me it has to be on purpose, and im really, really curious where it goes in future conclusions

anyway i might be wrong about everything and reading her totally wrong, but shes a character i love a lot and ive been thinking about for too long for my own good. i'll come back to this when i finish my replay of sirius's conclusion and can suffer for hours over That One Scene, lol

[baileythebean]

Vent below the cut so HUUUUGE trigger warning.

So usually I vent in my dad’s (Anomaly’s) DMs because he’s great at comforting me, but Im too pissed for this right now and I dont want to bother him. I swear I am so fucking close to actually killing myself, it’s scary.

My mom has an aversion to me ever binding. I am transmasc (FtM), and I am out to my parents. My mom claims to be a “good”, “supportive” mom, and I do occasionally have moments where I’m like “oh yeah, she’s making progress, she’s learning! :)” and then it’s always fucking ruined by saying things like “well Bailey is your nickname, your name is [deadname].” - “well you’re still biologically female.” - lots of bullshit little jabs at me whenever I ACTUALLY get brave enough to talk about my identity, which is rarely. Unfortunately, any chances of me getting a binder were ruined when I just asked her flat-out. I said it was for cosplay, just to play it safe, and it was still a hard no because “It destroys your body!” - “You wont develop properly!” - “You’ll regret it!” Along with several long rants about ALL the research she’s done, (probably barely any, and it was most likely on social media) and all the stories she’s heard about people who regretted surgery or just transitioning in general and had lawsuits for them, which is like, very low. The regret rate for transitioning is in the DECIMALS and yet she refuses to acknowledge that. We also have a history with suicide, as that’s how my dad left us, and yet she either hasn’t seen or doesnt care about trans suicide rates BECAUSE of being denied affirming care or harassment?? Anyways, here’s where my shit show of a story starts. I managed to get by fine with layering sports bras for a while and just not wearing anything tight-fitting. I figured she’d warm up to it eventually. But recently, I got a new cosplay (Venti from Genshin Impact) which involves a corset, and even if I layer or adjust the shirt, makes my chest look very weird if I dont bind. I started feeling more dysphoria than ever in my life and made a plan to get a binder before my first time wearing the costume. Said plan succeeded, and I had my friend get me the right sized binder at a birthday party one day through a queer kids program that offered them for free. I was so happy and started wearing it to get used to it and break it in since that day. Unfortunately, today I made the mistake of leaving it on my bed visibly.

My mom also has a terrible habit of going into my room and my spaces to clean, even though I usually do it myself anyway, and I LITERALLY FUCKING TELL HER NOT TO EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I dont want her touching my stuff EVER, not just when I’m trying to keep something from her. I told her to stop and she kept picking up trash, and she spotted it. She questioned me about it, and I caved, telling her what it is, how its been considered medically safe, and reciting like, ALL the safety instructions from the top of my head, hoping it would give me a chance at keeping it. I failed. I got yelled at for destroying my body, ETC ETC. finally, she says that she needs to keep my binder in her room so she can make sure I ONLY use it for cosplay and I’m pretty sure she’ll check if I’m wearing it every day.

Then this bitch PUTS MY BINDER ON and tells me it’s too tight. First, it’s supposed to be. Second, THATS NOT YOUR SIZE. I’m sobbing my eyes out right now, and the only thing keeping me alive is my boyfriend, and a literal fictional character. I want to tear my flesh from my bones when she tells me that puberty sucks for everyone, and she doesnt get the fact that it’s a million times worse for me because I’M A BOY. I’ll be lucky if I make it to the end of the year. I’m just done. I want it to be over. Someone come and end it for me, please. I cant take any more.

[s0lar-ch3ri]

mythborning in the year of our lord 2024

do we think about how ryan and aster probably never fully accepted connor being dead. after the first day reset and shit i mean. theyd go to bed, silently hoping tomorrow theyd wake up and itd be like that day never happened, hell maybe they get set back again to the day of the big game. and they both just. they dont want to think of the idea that connors gone.

asters the one who trys to fight for him back. she makes up new reasons and such as to why hes not gone, ways they could possibly bring him back (it doesnt help that in this state she sounds so much like him about his brother). she looks through her dads artifact collections, seeing if any would make sense in any way to bring him back to life, losing care of its cost. she even tries to find his book or something of its nature, but finding that, if even possible, doesnt help because its a book made to kill not bring to life again. i dont imagine asters religious, not in the sense that she doesnt think gods are real (one is her mother), but that she never felt a pull to worship one. for the first time in her life, she tries to pray. she prays to her mother, reciting every word and performing every detail, squishing the tears from her eyes because god she cant let herself be seen so broken by this boy infront of a divine being and sure its the first time shes tried reaching out like this but she just needs one chance to talk to her. of course, whether or not it works and she sees her, she doesnt revive him. the day doesnt reset and he comes back to life. and somewhere inside her she knows this couldnt have worked, shes the daughter of a goddess and knows the balance of mortality and immortality. shes known he was gone the moment the rats attacked. thats why she fought so hard, because the small amounts of divine energy she held surely could beat what has been written by those above her just this once, just for him.

ryan doesnt let himself break. he has a floatball team to be on and an act to keep up and a friend who needs him. he doesnt have the ability to stop and let himself process how hed join in the bullying of "con-nerd" and how he gave ryan that hug before going to that gym and getting to see the vulnerable sides of connor when he talked about or even showed them (he probably showed him his friends) his brother. sure, he may know what its like to have lost family and connor was close in a way similar (might be a small shipper of those two. what of it. /lh they can be friends too ofc) and now hes gone and hell never get to hear him call ryan stupid when hes wearing his goofy grin or does something actually dumb. ryan, whos meant to be strong, let his friend get crushed by rats. and he wont break. he'll just tell gary to fuck off when hes caught tearing up after a floatball game because he had to look in the stands and know that connors not gonna be there selling hotdogs again. he can just put another lie in his act when hes looking in these history textbooks and say he wasnt thinking of olden magic usages and how they might be able to bring him back, closing his eyes so he doesnt gaze on them.

it takes ryan grabbing asters wrists and looking her dead in the eyes and telling her "i dont fucking like it, but connors gone. you know it. i know it. this is just gonna hurt you more. please. i cant lose one more person." it takes her looking in ryans eyes to see how theyre tired and dried out and his muscles seem to instinctively hold up a smile and how his grips just slightly too strong and yet he just is so tired and wants more then anything his best friend back. his breaths getting shakey and louder and he starts sniffling and she just grabs him down and they become sobbing messes of kids on the floor because god fucking damn it connors gone and nothings magically fixing this and nothing will be the same ever again.

it takes them a bit to figure out where his gravestone is. its empty. they should have honored him sooner, they know it, but they just wanted to hope that it wasnt just connors memory they had left living.

[ravewing]

Would you have time to explain a little bit about Flame, I don’t remember much from the books, maybe your favourite part about Flame, what makes Flame so much greater and underrated compared to the others?

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS QUESTION SO I CAN RANT ABOUT FLAME HELLO !!!!

OK SO BASICALLY HE WAS RAISED IN THE TALONS OF PEACE, HE WAS THERE BECAUSE HIS MOTHER, AVALANCHE DIDNT WANT HIM TO BE DRAFTED INTO THE WAR AS A CHILD BUT THIS LED TO HIM HAVING TO MOVE AROUND PYRRHIA OFTEN, NEVER HAVING A REAL PLACE HE COULD CALL HOME

HE ALONG WITH THE OTHER FIVE ALTERNATES GREW UP THERE BUT THEY DIDNT KNOW THAT THEY WERE THE 'DRAGONETS' UNTIL THE PROLOGUE OF BOOK THREE WHERE MORROWSEER TOLD THEM BECAUSE HE WAS DISAPPOINTED WITH THE REAL ONES

BOOK FOUR WAS WHERE HE GOT THE MOST SCREEN (BOOK?) TIME, HE WAS INTRODUCED TO STARFLIGHT BY FATESPEAKER AFTER HE MET HIS FATHER; THIS IS WHEN FLAME AND THE OTHER ALTERNATES ARE ORDERED TO KILL HIM, FLAME AND OCHRE ARE FOUND BY NIGHTWING GUARDS AND ARE PLACED IN THE DUNGEON FOR THE NIGHT (THIS IS WHERE HE MET MIDBRINGER AND DEVELOPED AN INTEREST IN BECOMING AN ASSASSIN)

THE NEXT DAY HE AND THE REST OF THE ALTERNATES + STARFLIGHT ARE FORCED TO FLY GOD KNOWS HOW MANY MILES TO A SKYWING GUARD OUTPOST WHERE HE MEETS PROBABLY THE FIRST DRAGONS FROM HIS TRIBE ASIDES FROM THE TALONS, AND JUST AS HE GETS TO KNOW THEM THE NIGHTWINGS BURN THE WHOLE FUCKING PLACE DOWN RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS EYES!! WHAT THE FLIP!!!

THEN HE HAS TO FLY ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE VOLCANO AFTER EXPERIENCING THE MOST TRAUMATIC THING HE HAD EVER SEEN!! IMAGINE BEING LIKE 16 YEARS OLD (I THINK THATS WHAT TUI SAID 6 DRAGON YEARS WAS) AND SEEING SOME OF THE FIRST DRAGONS YOUVE MET OF YOUR TRIBE GET BURNED ALIVE IN FRONT OF YOU WHAT THE FUCK

AND THEN THE NEXT FUCKING DAY MORROWSEER GETS THEM ALL TO FIGHT AND HE GETS HIS FACE FUCKED UP BY VIPERS TAIL AND GOD KNOWS HOW MUCH THAT HURT LIKE?? OW?? AND THEN SHE FALLS INTO THE LAVA AND GUESS WHAT??? SHE GETS FUCKING BURNED ALIVE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM!!! ONE OF THE PEOPLE THAT HE FUCKING GREW UP WITH JUST!!! WHAT

OH YEAH AND SOMETIME AROUND THIS HE AND OCHRE STEAL THE DREAMVISITOR FROM STARFLIGHT BUT THATS PRETTY MUCH IRRELEVANT

ANYWHO HES IN THE INFIRMARY AND THEN FATESPEAKER AND STARFLIGHT GET HIM TO HELP THEM ESCAPE AND USE HIS NEWLY SCARRED FACE TO DO SO AND ALL THE NIGHTWING GUARDS THEY SHOW HIS SCAR TO GO "EW" "GROSS" "YUCK" LIKE OMFG I FELT SO BAD FOR HIM LIKE??? WHAT

ANYWHO THE RAINWINGS TAKE CARE OF HIM UNTIL THE MIDDLE OF BOOK FIVE WHEN THE REAL DRAGONETS GO TO THE TALONS TO SEND A MESSAGE TO BLISTER I THINK? IDK BUT THERE HE FOLLOWS THEM AND SEES HIS MOM AGAIN AND THEY HUG AND HE CRIES AND ITS REALLY SAD AND EMOTIONAL BECAUSE LIKE IMAGINE EXPERIENCING THE GREATEST TRAUMA YOUVE EVER HAD IN A SPAN OF THREE CONSECUTIVE DAYS AND YOU FINALLY SEE THE ONE PERSON WHO CARES ABOUT YOU ABD YOU JUST. BURST INTO TEARS

ANYWHO THEN HE GETS SENT TO JMA AND THEN THAT FUCKING CAVE GETS BURNT UP IN AN EXPLOSION KILLING ONE OF HIS CLAWMATES AND INJURING THE OTHER LIKE GEE WHIZ THAT CANT BRING BACK ANY BAD MEMORIES!!

AND THEN AT THAT ASSEMBLY WE CAN TELL FROM MOON READING HIS MIND HOW MUCH THOSE FEW DAYS IN BOOK FOUR FUCKED HIM UP LIKE I COULD TALK FOREVER ABOUT HIS THOUGHTS BUT UH YEAH AND HE SENSES MOON READING HIS MIND AND FUCKING KICKS HER OUT I FEEL LIKE NOBODY TALKS ABOUT THAT

AND BASICALLY HE CONTINUES LIVING HIS LIFE AT JMA UNTIL FUCK ASS SHIT FUCK MIDSTALKER SHOWS UP AND HES ALL "OH FLAME IM GONNA HEAL YOUR FACE" AND FLAME IS SKEPTICAL AND DOESNT BELIEVE HIM BECAUSE NOBODY HAS EVER EVER DONE ANYTHING NICE FOR HIM (OH YEAH I FORGOT THIS WAS TOUCHED ON WHEN STARF AND FATESPEAKER WENT TO GET HIM OUT OF THE VOLCANO WHEN THEY SAID THEY WERE GONNA SAVE HIM AND HE WAS LIKE "WHY WOULD YOU SAVE ME?" THAT WAS REALLY SAD TOO) AND THEN DARKSTALKER DOES WITH THAT PURPLE FLOWER BUT ITS ALSO HEAVILY HEAVILY IMPLIED THAT HE ENCHANTED FLAME TO KILL STONEMOVER SO THEN HE COULD SAVE THE DAY AND LOOK GOOD FOR MOON COS HES A FUCKING CREEP

ALSO DURING THIS SCENE WHEN DS HEALS FLAMES FACE TURTLE THINKS TO HIMSELF HOW FLAME LOOKED INFINITELY YOUNGER AND HOW HE FELT BAD FOR JUDGING FLAME FOR HIS 'SCARY LOOKS' OR WHATEVER AND THAT MADE ME REALLT SAD

ANYWHO ANEMONE FINDS FLAME AND IS LIKE "DARKSTALKERR I FOUND HIM HES THE ONE WHO TRIED TO KILL STONEMOVER :3" AND GUESS WHAT FUCK ASS FUCK MIDSTALKER DOES HE TAKES THE DREAMVISITOR BACK FROM HIS BAG AND IS ALL "FLAME YOURE A FUCKING LIAR LOL" (I HATE DARKSTALKER CAN YOU GUYS TELL) AND THEN HE TURNS HIS LIBRARY CARD INTO A FUCKING CAGE AND FUCKING IMPRISONS HIM DOWN THERE WITH STONEMOVER FOR ESSENTIALLY ALL OF BOOK NINE AND TEN LIKE?? HE IS 7 YEARS OLD. THE EQUIVALENT TO 18 HUMAN YEARS HES BARELY AN ADULT WHAT THE FUCKKKKK WHY DID TUI DO THAT TO HIM????

ANYWHO AT THE END OF BOOK TEN HE TAKES THE EARRING FROM QIBLI RELUCTANTLY SO HE CAN GET OUT OF THE CAGE BUT THEN HE HAS HIS SCAR BACK

AND THEN HE GOES TO WORK FOR THE HEALERS IN THE SKY KINGDOM AND UHH YEAH THATS ALL THE CANON FLAME CONTENT FROM WHAT I CAN RECALL !!

UHH MY FAVORITE PART ABOUT HIM IS PROBABLY HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS MOTHER, HOW SHES THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT HIM AND HOW HE ONLY EVER FELT VULNERABLE AND SAFE ENOUGH WITH HER TO CRY IN FRONT OF HER

I REALLY LIKE HIS INTERACTIONS WITH THE OTHER ALTERNATES THOUGH!! I LIKE THE IDEA OF HIM AND VIPER BEING FRIENDS AS DRAGONETS

IVE THOUGHT A LOT ABOUT HOW HE BOTTLES UP HIS ANGER AND TAKES IT OUT IN THE FORM OF SELF HATRED BECAUSE HE HAS NO OUTLET, NOBODY TO LEAN ON OR HELP HIM OUT

I THINK ABOUT THE DIFFERENCE IN HOW HE PERCEIVES HIS SCAR AND HOW DRAGONS LIKE QIBLI DO; QIBLI SEES HIS SCAR AS SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF, WHILE FLAME THINKS THAT HIS SCAR RUINED HIS LIFE AND HATES HIMSELF FOR IT

THERE ISNT ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR THAT MADE ME LIKE HIM MORE THAN OTHER CHARACTERS, I JUST THOUGHT HE WAS COOL WHEN I WAS IN THIRD GRADE AND WHEN I REREAD WOF IN 2020 I STARTED FIXATING ON HIM AND THEN I GOT TIKTOK AND STARTED POSTING ABOUT HIM AND THEN I STARTED SELF PROJECTING AND UHH YEAH HERE WE ARE LOL

ANYWHO I WOULD RANT MORE BUT I NEED TO WORK ON 30 DAYS OF FLAME ART THANK YOU FOR ASKING AND APOLOGIES FOR THE ESSAY

[shreddeddescent]

i think the the untrained eye the way ive presented my leo and raph might make it seem like their characterization has been reversed (someone might be like aha rise fan ass) but like i think the way i see them is like. okay. raph is the oldest brother and they all know that, but he gets to a point where he just cant be the one in charge. and despite leo's immaturity at a younger age, he really comes into his own when he's you know.....not being abused by an evil fucking father. shredder's conditioning never worked on leo cuz it all went into raph first, and then raph broke apart when he hit puberty cuz alllllll that specific conditioning went out the fucking window.

so trying to make leo get his brothers in line never worked. and he actively fought. and he was actively punished for lashing out about it. that sounds like a classic raph thing you know, being angry and acting out. but we're talking about a kid whos 12 and never had to do that being hit with responsibility. very much like ahaha NO? ends up punished. ends up getting raph punished. shredder thinks its cuz raph coddled him. he thinks tang shen coddled his kids when she was around, now he needs a new woman to blame. so if leo fucks up, raph gets punished too.

raph seemed more put together younger cuz he was barely letting himself be aware of how bad the situation was. he picked up the pieces of his brothers and never worried about himself.

being in a safe environment let leo turn into the mature one who was able to handle being a normal teenager without fear, and it turned raph into a fucking maniac who didnt understand that no one was about to hurt him again. he cant handle it, he gets way too close to his mom about how fucked up his dad is and he resents his brothers for not seeing her the same way he does.

i should also say it seems like ive been neglecting the donnie and mikey part. what i think is interesting about their perspectives is that they don't exactly feel caught in the middle of it, but they're both aware their father didnt care about them as much as leo and raph.

mikey was told he was coddled, he ended up malnourished in a way that stunted his growth and it makes raph specifically see him as way younger than he is and he parentifies himself to mikey, which he accepts cuz like. that is the closest thing to a parent mikey has. they have a weird relationship, mikey genuinely sees raph as mom sometimes, definitely more than he'd ever see splinter as one. she tries, but its very much like 'you just showed up when i was 9 i dont know you but thanks for caring'. he's the same age as donnie but has somewhat age regressed in the sense of like "oh, people need someone to be happy! and be funny! i can keep this together cuz im okay! people need a baby brother thats me! im fine!" but hes not.

donnie was very much aware shredder saw him as spare parts because he was born broken to his father. chronic pain, he's weak. he didnt fight as good. he was told he just wasnt trying hard enough, that shit was all in his head. while he knew that wasnt true he didn't fight anything, he behaved. he thought he'd be killed over anything, so he moreso observed the situation, recognizing the patterns of abuse and processing it a little faster. he was ignored for the most part, used as the bargaining chip for his brothers. 'i could simply give him to stockman to make use of his DNA'. empty threat, he's only got four turtles. waste of money to get rid of him. he knew that, maybe his brothers didnt. he and raph kinda bond over being broken from birth in a way. even though donnie is the fastest one to point out no raph, youre a boy, stop talking about yourself like your body is broken and wrong. he kind of oversteps but only because he hates the idea that raph thinks he's just as broken as him for something so fucking common.

leo's a good big brother to mikey and donnie, he doesnt treat them like they're babies as much as raph does, hes aware of their capabilities more. aware of their mental states more. post escape, raph bonds with splinter too much, leo bonds with them. they might sneak out sometimes and pretend they're cosplayers out in the street. he lets them go have fun like normal kids. hes a good brother, he's determined to let them be kids when he didnt get to be one.

raph would fucking lose it if he knew leo let them do that. but he sleeps all fucking day and has no idea. he's way too in his own head now cuz he's got time to fucking think for once. and he doesnt want to.