#but i do wonder about it. doubt it would do anything as everyone's on twitter lol

[tippenstoepens]

Prettiest Girl in the Room

part 1 - part 2 - part 3

Wordcount: 1.2k

You couldn’t hold it against Joe. As an adult woman, you knew better by now. Kisses don’t come with strings attached and just because a person kisses you, doesn’t mean they want to spend the rest of their life with you - especially if that kiss happened while both parties were drunk.

Which Joe made pretty apparent when he didn’t call you the morning after your kiss. Or the three mornings after that. Or the three months after that. All you had heard from Joe was his reaction notifications from the cast group chat when someone would send a Twitter meme made of the show. Everyone fancied one of Jackson’s character screaming “Well, you can shove your ham up your ass!” 

“Joekeery loved an image”

That’s all you got. 

You went about your life the way you always did between gigs: waitressing during the week, babysitting your friends’ kids on weekends, and sending out the odd self-tape in hopes your career wasn’t over before it had even begun. It was a nice, simple life. Not every actor was fortunate enough to afford a roof over their head in New York City, no matter how many doubles they worked. You consider yourself spoiled rotten every day. What could possibly be missing?

You didn’t date. That was probably part of the problem. That’s what made Joe’s silence ache so deeply. You wondered if it would change anything if he knew that the most action you had gotten in months before the kiss was getting catcalled in the streets. A simple kiss meant the world to celibate, touch starved women like you.

Maybe you should be the one to call him… And maybe you should crawl on your knees begging him to pay you a modicum of attention with “DESPERATE” written on your forehead in red Sharpie just to put the icing on the idiot cake. 

He popped into your mind way more often than he was welcome. At the grocery store when one of the songs he always played in the makeup trailer started harassing you over the intercom. In your kitchen when you removed fish bones from your salmon. In bed when you were trying to… Well, that’s no one’s business. 

“Guess who has two thumbs and just got renewed for a second season,” the director bubbled in the group chat.

“Oh, I love this game,” David texted. “This show. Our show got greenlit.”

It was time to shake it off. Not just for the sake of the show, but for your own sake. It wasn’t healthy to dwell so much on the past. 

On the first day back from hiatus, the producers and director had the cast sit for a table read of the first few scripts they had written. As Joe’s TV wife, you’d expect to be sitting next to him considering most of your scenes were together. Maybe you should talk to Joe and clear the air before the table read started. Yes. That’s the mature thing to do.

You arrived twenty-five minutes early - which is on-the-dot on time in the acting world. Joe wasn’t there when you arrived. Or ten minutes after you did. Or five minutes after that.The anticipation of Joe’s arrival was turning your stomach into knots. He was usually punctual. Surely, he wasn’t tardy because of you.

“Any word from Joe?” The director mumbled to his assistant. 

“Haven’t heard from him,” they replied.

You began to worry. Was he skipping out on the table read because he didn’t want to see you? Had his avoidance of you gone that far? He’d have to get over it eventually. He had a contract to fulfill. Just as you began your descent into a catastrophizing spiral, the clock struck eleven and Joe jogged into the room - beads of sweat forming at his hairline. “So sorry,” he panted. “Traffic was terrible.”

“It’s okay, we wouldn’t get started without our golden boy,” David teased. “I hear he’s up for sexiest man alive this year.”

Joe blew a short raspberry in response.

“Alright, alright, let’s get right into it, shall we? From the top of episode one.” The director chirped, no doubt relieved that he didn’t have to read Joe’s lines for him. “Interior. The Henderson bedroom. John and Jane Henderson lie in bed, covered only by their silk bed sheets. They’re snuggled up together. Post-coitus is implied.”

Say sike right now. You had never done a scene like this with Joe before. Never! The Henderson’s didn’t even have a scene like this in their honeymoon episode.

Of course this would be the first scene on the first day back after your first time seeing Joe after your first kiss. It was fan service. Every girl, guy, and person wanted to see more of Joe’s skin these days. But why did you have to be dragged into it?

You turned to look Joe in the eyes as you would have at any other table reading. Normal. This is normal. Business as usual. But it didn’t feel as easy as it was before. At first, you struggled to make eye contact and when you finally did, the intensity of his gaze made you blush a bit. Only a bit. The show must go on.

“That was amazing, sweetheart,” he scooped the line off the page and met your gaze again. 

God, the script writing was really going downhill this season, huh?

You sighed contently as the script dictated. “You’re tellin’ me!”

The whole cast chuckled.

The rest of the table read went on without a single hitch. After the ice was broken, things weren’t nearly as awkward as you dreaded they would be. The cast went through the entire table read five times before the lunch break. The first thing you did with your free time was approach Joe.

“You didn’t call.”

“Neither did you."

Fair, but not really because Joe was the one with a booming career and Joe was the one everyone tuned in to the show for and Joe was the one with most of the power in this dynamic and Joe was the one who initiated the kiss and infinitely many other reasons that he was to blame came to mind before you finally came to the conclusion that you didn’t call Joe because you were afraid of the possibility of rejection. What if you followed up only to find out that he wasn’t interested in you? Your low-self esteem convinced you that reaching out to a person like Joe was asking for embarrassment.

“So what now?” The rough exterior melted, revealing the vulnerable little girl inside that just wanted a boy to like her back.

“Well, that’s up to you,” he shrugged.

Not necessarily the answer you wanted. You just stared him down until he said more things.

“If it was just a drunken kiss, I understand. We’ll never speak of it again. We’ll keep things professional.”

“And if it wasn’t?” You murmured while making sure to avoid eye contact lest you be made a fool of for saying that.

“If it wasn’t… I’d like you to have dinner with me," he blushed. "Some time. If you… I dunno if you have free time- Well, of course you have free time, but I meant- If you want to have dinner,” he stammered and stuttered.

“I’d love to.”

Joe sighed in relief. “Great. Do you like Italian?” He smiled a bashful, closed lipped smile and it made the corners of his big, brown eyes crinkle.

“I love Italian.”

“I know a spot in the lower east side near Ludlow. Friday at eight? I’ll pick you up if you like.” God, his eyes.

The submissive in you wished he would stop worrying about what you like and make you do what he liked. The romantic in you found his sheepishness so charming.

“I’d like that,” you beamed.

Taglist: @thefrontofmymind, @bejeweled13swiftie

[lemonlover1110]

Please please please write an angst of doctor nanami cheating on reader with a random nurse

Pairing: Kento Nanami x gn!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Cheating

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

*slowly working on requests! They're still closed so don't send anything in

Your husband often works long hours, but as an ER doctor it was expected. The day you started dating Kento, he made it very clear that he works a lot. He’s called in unexpectedly, and while it might seem like he has the day off, he could be called in. You were more than okay with it.

You often feel lonely while Kento works, especially at night. In the beginning you didn’t mind it but you grow lonelier each day. You wonder if you’ve made the right decision by getting married to him. You weren’t made to be so lonely– But whenever you’re thinking of leaving and starting over, he’s off for a day or two, and he reminds you why you’re with him.

He’s so sweet when he’s back around. He gets you flowers, does all the chores that you hate (because he knows that you hate it and he wants to keep you happy), he watches a movie that you like even if he wants to watch something else, and he cooks your favorite food. He’s so affectionate, so loving. He wants you to know that you’re his perfect wife. 

Of course you believe it, why wouldn’t you? Kento has only given you reasons to trust him. You believe his every word, trying to avoid thinking about any thought that makes you doubt your husband. 

He’s called in on your anniversary. He had the day off but things didn’t go your way. However, you had a backup plan because you had an idea this would happen. He’s working now more than ever so of course you had a backup plan.

You wear your pretty little dress, holding a bag with Kento’s favorite food. You also have a box of his favorite chocolate, and a small gift. You wander into the hospital, and the staff already  knows you well so you don’t have an issue getting through.

Majority of the staff knows your plan since you called around. You’re simply just having a romantic dinner– Well as romantic as it can be in a hospital break room. You’re smiling, walking confidently through the hospital hallways. You’re right on Kento’s break, and everyone else assured you that he’d be alone.

When you open the break room’s door, you see that you’ve been lied to. Your heart drops and shatters into a million pieces, the bag that’s in your hand slipping away and falling to the ground. Your eyes widen and they fill with tears. You can’t believe the sight in front of you, your husband’s lips on another woman, and by the looks of it, it wasn’t going to stop with kissing.

You freeze in time, watching your loving husband with someone else. You’re simply shocked. Kento wouldn’t do this to you… Not him. That can’t be your husband. Your hands are shaking, your heart feeling as if it’s about to beat out of your chest. The tears finally begin to spill, and there’s a lump in your throat that holds back a sob. 

No– Kento Nanami wouldn’t. Two other doctors must’ve gotten confused because your husband would never do this to you. You wipe the tears and you swallow the lump in your throat, shaking your head. It’s clearly not your husband. You clear your throat, “Sorry, I must’ve–”

He pulls away, alert. You see his face, and your heart breaks all over again. Even if you try to delude yourself, it won’t work. The woman is also staring at you but you aren’t all too focused on her; you don’t care about her. 

He yells out your name as you turn on your heel and begin to walk away. He’s trying to run after you, but you’re walking as fast as you can. 

“Please! Let me explain!” He yells and you try to block out his voice but it’s hard when he sounds so desperate. He does eventually catch up to you, grabbing your arm. You try to break free from his grasp but it’s too strong. You refuse to look at him, wanting to keep hidden the tears that stream down your face. “Honey, let’s talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Kento.” You try to sound as normal as you can even when your voice threatens to break. He still refuses to let go. “Let go of me, I never want to see you again.”

“Can we just talk please? Privately?” He asks, and you take a moment to think. He’s not going to let you go so easily, even if you want to leave. You’ll make it fast. You finally turn to look at him, and while you try to act tough, it’s impossible when you look at his face. The man that you love to the moon and back betrayed you. He’s someone that you wanted to grow old with, to have children with. You gave him your all, however, that doesn’t seem to be enough for him.

“On our anniversary? Really?” You respond, and it feels as if his voice has been taken from him. You wipe your tears before crossing your arms. You have to look away from him. “I thought you’d never do this to me, Kento. I really thought you were the one.”

He bites down his lip, he really doesn’t know what to say. For a minute you stand in complete and utter silence.

“Are you going to say anything?” You ask, and he’s scrambling for words. He comes up with nothing. You end up nodding before walking away. You hear him again,

“Honey, wait!” 

Just this time, he doesn’t run after you.

[putschki1969]

Kalafina 「sprinter」 (Yuki Kajiura LIVE Vol.#2) - Unreleased and Unedited

Update 24/09/07: The original YouTube "video" was made private so I can no longer link to it. Instead, I am including the audio which I downloaded last night from the video. Please note that even though I keep calling the original upload a "video", it is just an audio track with a picture.

Update 24/09/08: The video on YouTube is back up again. I don't notice any obvious changes so I'm not sure why it was put on private in the first place. Check it out HERE.

Update 24/09/09: Check out my UPDATE POST here. New information has been revealed that in my opinion proves that the track on YouTube is fake.

Thanks to @gslin (@gslin on Twitter) for the heads-up! A mysterious account on YouTube (@FJS_Official => which is definitely not "official" but pretends to be judging by their name and handle; The account has since changed their handle to "@FJS_Channel") has uploaded an interesting audio a couple of days ago. It is presumably from Kalafina's front act performance for "Yuki Kajiura LIVE Vol.#2" held at Shibuya O-EAST on July 31, 2008. Wakana, Keiko, Hikaru and Maya (who was still a member back then) sang 4 songs in total:

oblivious

Kizuato

ARIA

sprinter

Official footage exists of their "ARIA" and "Kizuato" performance (included as bonus content on the "Seventh Heaven" album) but up until recently, I think everyone believed that there were no live recordings of "oblivious" or "sprinter" featuring Maya (please correct me if I'm wrong in that regard).

When I initially saw the video on YouTube, I thought that this whole thing was fake. I feel like these days, any tech-savvy person can layer different audio tracks and make it sound like a brand-new live recording with a few tweaks here and there (especially if you factor in the growing popularity of AI). I mean, all you'd have to do is mix the original studio recording with Maya's vocals (or Maya's unofficial karaoke performance of the song) with one of the many existing live recordings of "sprinter" and voilà, you'd have created something like the above audio.

However, after listening to the audio a few times, I'm having a hard time recognising any specifics of the live performance. I'll admit, I'm not 100% familiar with every single "sprinter" performance since it's not exactly among my favourite songs but from what I can tell, Hikaru sounds a lot shakier than in any of the "official" live recordings that are out there. So yeah, this might indeed be "unreleased" and it appears to be as raw/unedited as it gets. I did a quick research but couldn't find anything on this topic so I don't think this has been posted before...

As @gslin has mentioned on Twitter, the sound quality is exceptionally well, too good for a bootleg (possibly recorded in an official manner close to the PA system?)

The video description says that it is a sound source preserved at Sony Music but I have my doubts about that. I wonder how the person who runs the account would just get access to it and be allowed to post it on a random YouTube channel. Sounds a bit fishy to me. If there are actually people out there who can get their hands on unreleased Kalafina audios, there would be more of them floating around (someone give me all those Christmas live sound sources!!!!).

But who knows, anything is possible. Maybe the venue had some of these sound sources stored (no idea if this is a common practice)? Shibuya O-EAST could have gotten rid of them (made them publicly available) after they rebranded the venue in 2021.

[anxresi]

…Thomas Astruc really is a nasty piece of work, isn’t he?

This post is about how he reacts to criticism online, and what motivates him to reply.

Not to mention, a shout-out to his ‘defenders’ who somehow think they owe the man a lifelong debt of gratitude.

Don’t worry, I’m sure he’s more than ably been compensated for producing the idea that led to this behemoth of a show (before he ran it down to the ground, that is).

So he finally admits it… he’s writing at the level of a 5 year old. The truth outs at last!

Here’s another one…

How would we get the idea you ‘hate’ Chloe?

You mean like: engaging in the most heinous character assassination I’ve EVER seen regarding her development over S4-5, giving us the waste-of-bland-space Zoe who everyone in the in-show universe constantly praises to further spite her fans and responding to almost EVERY individual who criticizes your treatment of her online, while ignoring most other messages?

Hmm, I wonder where we could’ve got the impression from you don’t like her very much… 🤔

It’s got to the stage now where he reacts so aggressively and urgently to anyone who produces the slight WHIFF of criticism, that it makes me think he has something to hide. Like for example, directly interfering in her character arc?

Anyway, he does that classic thing every bad liar does… Deny everything, then get so abusive with their angry response to try and frighten the poor OP into never raising the issue ever again.

He doesn’t have to even reply to anyone, but when he does it always seems to be the ‘haterz’ he engages with than the devotees who grovel at his feet. Almost like he enjoys the confrontations. Very strange.

Oh, but don’t worry. All those young fans he ignores still turn up to ‘defend’ this grown-ass 46 year old man from the vicious assault of a couple of teens rightfully asking questions of his terrible writing. decisions. NEWSFLASH: he’s not gonna give you mindless sycophants a job, you know. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

In fact, all these ‘brave’ internet white knights defending him on Twitter… you do realize you massively outnumber the Chloe fans, don’t you?

It was a personal choice Thomas made to highlight the only two negative questions he got about her that day to his hundreds of thousands of followers, as if to make out this kind of ‘trolling’ is commonplace.

It’s not, and picking on the couple of Chloe fans willing to speak up ain’t an ‘honorable’ thing. He couldn’t give a hoot about you in reality, you’re just interchangeable tools in his ginormous ego trap.

Hope you enjoy the taste of his boots. Wise up, and see him for what he is, would be my genuine advice.

P.S The other topic that seems to heavily occupy him judging by his posts is the ‘Climate Emergency’ which of course very important and explains the ‘New World’ we see after Gabriel’s wish we see at the end of S5.

Personally, I think they laid it on a bit thick with the whole ‘let’s get rid of all cars, no litter anywhere, waterways and trees everywhere you look, no more teachers at school so set your own lessons’ message, but whatever.

My point is, I bet he lives a jet-setting lifestyle where he travels around the world a lot, in terms of income he’s gotta be in the top 10% bracket and I can’t seem to find anything online about him being a vegetarian or inviting homeless people to stay at the mansion he doubt calls his place of residence.

So could it be… this ‘progressive’ outlook is another attempt by a middle-aged man to ‘get down wiv da kids’ from someone who’s willing to talk the talk but not make any concrete sacrifices in his own privileged life that might help halt environmental decline? Id wager he uses a lot more resources than the average person he lectures to, so what is he doing himself to prevent ‘global Armageddon’?

From the available evidence, not a lot. Could it be… he’s an attention-seeking self-congratulatory sanctimonious hypocrite who’s life ethos is ‘Do as I say, but not as I do’?

Probably.

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.213 thoughts

[The End of the Beginning of the End]

(Contents: Criticism - pacing, praise - Fuuko's speech)

I'm so tempted to just say that this chapter should have been what I predicted last week, hit post, and never say anything again to anyone ever, but I feel like that would be doing a disservice to everyone involved, most notably myself, so I'm going to try to give this chapter a fair and partial evaluation to the best of my ability

As other readers have said over the course of this week, I feel that this chapter was, in and of itself, fine, it's just mistimed. What the Unchaste Arc (if you can even call it that...) needed was a capstone focusing on Kururu. I won't go over how that would have looked since I went into detail on it last week, but it's extremely evident that that's the missing piece here on the basis that she's still clearly an antagonist in this chapter

Kururu does not have a single line, but she spends the entire chapter picking a fight with Julia and baring her fangs (which I'm glad she still has, to be clear), so Fuuko's entire speech about how all of the Negators used to be enemies but are now friends rings somewhat hollow

Fuuko mentions that Kururu told her Soul was the actual villain for this arc, but a) we didn't see that conversation, and b) that doesn't mean that she's on friendly terms with the team now. And if she is on friendly terms, then why a) weren't we shown that? and b) is she attacking Julia???

It's one thing for background events to be handwaved by omake on twitter or the collected volumes, but in my opinion this is central to not only the themes of the current arc, but the story as a whole. And I know Tozuka knows that. I've said it many times, Tozuka has earned my trust that he knows how to tell this story, all of my expectations for future events come from precedents that he's established, so when something like this happens, I have to wonder what's going on behind the scenes

Shonen Jump just got a new editor-in-chief, so it's possible that someone higher up the chain wasn't happy with the flow of this arc either and just wanted the slate cleaned, but that's entirely speculation. If I'm right though, that could also explain why the Bunny arc got wrapped up in a single panel, as it likely wasn't going to be "action-focused enough" for whoever wasn't vibing with the idol battle

In my opinion, this should have been a three-event chapter, like when Yusai, Isshin XII and Sean were recruited, with a third being about wrapping up Kururu's arc, a third being about Bunny's adoption (a lighthearted bit of cutesy comedy) and finally Fuuko's speech about Remember

Nico crying over Fuuko accepting this new version of himself as the same man was easily the highlight of the chapter, as it drives home what value using Remember has. We already saw from Nico regaining and perfecting Unforgettable that the memories don't overwrite the current self, they integrate and inform a more completed self. I've talked about the Looping mechanic introducing a sort of "reverse character development," but that development is still half-baked without the cast fully understanding the lies that they've overcome

I doubt we'll get a full scene dedicated to every single character reconciling with their memories, but even just a few of them remembering what they've lost rather than just understanding that they were supposed to lose anything will really change the flavor of their interactions going forward. There's a world of difference between Rip hearing that he's killed people and knowing who he killed, and the ability to strive to be something more comes from experience, not hearsay

All of the bonds that Fuuko has now are strong, but Nico knows firsthand just how much there was for those bonds to overcome. He's not simply her friend who doesn't remember her, he's someone who has helped and hurt her more than he could ever atone for, and she still forgave him. The weight of their friendship as it is now is all the more apparent after Nico could recall the actions that put that friendship to the test. For Fuuko to come see him when he was essentially a new man, think to herself "yes, this is the same man who put me through that," and then decide that that man was, after all was said and done, her friend...well, I'd cry too in Nico's position

And I imagine that everyone else will be much the same. For Shen to remember he sacrificed Gina, for Mui to remember she personally killed Shen, for Billy to remember betraying the Union only to be forgiven...everyone has a past that has informed who they are now, they just don't realize how much of an impact that it's had

And that's why it's so important that Fuuko waited until everyone had joined up to use it. Juiz once said that Remember was meant to reunite old allies, but that's not what Fuuko is using it for. If she did, she wouldn't be teaming up with the friends she "doesn't know yet does know," she'd only be teaming up with the friends she knows, invalidating the lives and choices of those she doesn't

If she simply revived their memories right off the bat, they'd pick up exactly where they left off, for better or worse. Billy and Rip may still hold everyone at arm's length, Sean may still resent everyone for being more important than him, Shen may still be motivated by revenge, etc. And worst of all, not everyone would be friends. Everyone was on mostly good terms by the end of L100, but Under was still Under and the Union was still the Union, separate entities for all intents and purposes

Now? It's just the Union. Everyone knows everyone, everyone is friends with everyone, and everyone knows more about themselves than they did before. The selves they know yet don't know are important tools for becoming better than they've ever been, lessons that they wouldn't have been willing to learn the first time around but are now retroactively open to

Fuuko is no longer turning complete strangers back into her friends, she's reminding her friends where they came from, and showing them how important their decision to be her friends truly is

No one is fighting God because of what he did to them anymore. They're fighting God because they believe it's the right thing to do, because they believe in Fuuko's vision of a better world. That's not an opinion they would have if she had used Remember on them, as their past ego would likely subsume their present, like Victor trying to erase Andy to resume control of their shared body, but now Fuuko has allowed them a strong enough sense of self to unify past and present into one complete future

The sentiment behind this chapter really can't be understated, which unfortunately is what makes its timing all the more frustrating. The fact that the Union isn't even all together means that this speech isn't actually hyping up how major it will be when Remember finally does get used, we already got that when Fuuko shared her vision of a 25-seat Roundtable, and instead it feels like it's priming her to fail. Like we're so close to seeing that vision fulfilled, how's it going to go wrong?

And if that's not what happens, then the timing is still wrong for one very simple reason: KURURU'S STILL NOT ONBOARD!!!

Everyone agreed to using Remember all at once, except for Kururu, who was still throwing an oddly silent fit in the background! "The friends I don't know yet do know"??? Kururu doesn't have any god damn clue who any of you are!!! She's the one person here who hasn't had that rapport built up, the one who doesn't have a reason to help Fuuko achieve anything, and the one who's motivations could still end up being overwritten simply because she hasn't developed a firmly established and differentiated ego! Granted, it doesn't seem like this one is too different from the last one anyway, but that's exactly the problem!!! We don't know the difference between the two Kururus because she's the only character who hasn't been given the opportunity to explain herself to the audience!!!

I mean, I guess Bunny hasn't either, but again, she at least has the naivete and optimism of a child who was freshly adopted, so we can at least somewhat justify her lack of characterization

I really, truly, deeply hope that Kururu gets the Feng treatment, that her development is just being put off for a more opportune moment, because if she's just going to be reduced to a background gag, then I will be sorely disappointed

That said, my love for Kururu ironically skyrocketed after this chapter, because now the Kururu I created in my mind, the Kururu I don't know yet do know, has much less chance of being replaced by the "true" Kururu from Tozuka's. While obviously I'd prefer to know authorial intent, Tozuka has inadvertently set Kururu aside and left me the opportunity to say "my character now," which is an oddly powerful way to form an attachment between character and reader

I should know, it's exactly what Oda did with Monet

Anyway, I think that's enough venting for this week. Here's hoping that next week's chapter will leave a better taste in my mouth

Until next time, let's enjoy life!

[shiningwonderland]

Natsuki Shinomiya (Repeat)

Translator: Raz (Twitter: agnadance)

Proofreader: Nadie (Twitter: nmoniag)

Editor: Snail (Twitter: herbert_snail)

QA: Rei (Twitter: wolfe_raine)

September — Secrets in Velato

Summer vacation has ended and the second term has begun. Now that the opening ceremony has finished, Saotome Academy's famous health exams will begin.

Saotome Academy's health exams are unusual. The principal, who has a medical license, calls every individual student to check up on them.

Otoya Ittoki: Haa... I don't get it, I feel healthy, so why...

Ittoki-kun comes back to the classroom with a gloomy expression after finishing his health checkup with the principal.

He's usually so upbeat. What's wrong?

Haruka Nanami: Ittoki-kun…? What's the matter? Did something happen?

Otoya Ittoki: Huh? … Ah, yeah. I don't get why, but I was told to get a follow-up.

Haruka Nanami: Is something wrong?

Otoya Ittoki: … I was told I might have an incurable disease.

Haruka Nanami: Huh…?

Otoya Ittoki: Well,it's not like it's set in stone or anything... Yeah...

Otoya Ittoki: Everything's fine... I'll just go back for the follow-up.

Haruka Nanami: I hope nothing's wrong.

Ittoki-kun staggers back to his seat. He's always so lively… so I'm sure it's a mistake.

But I'm still a little worried about him...

Otoya Ittoki: Ah, Masa! Welcome back! U-um... How were your results? Are you… good?

Masato Hijirikawa: I'm not sure why but I was told to get a follow-up. There seems to be something wrong with my bones because of a calcium deficiency. Drinking milk seems to be the solution, but...

Otoya Ittoki: Oh yeah, you hate milk, huh?

Masato Hijirikawa: … No, that's… not true...

Otoya Ittoki: But I've never seen you drink milk before, Masa.

Masato Hijirikawa: … You're just imagining things. I'm… not picky.

Otoya Ittoki: Hmm? Okay, then try drinking it. Here you go.

Ittoki-kun hands a box of milk to Hijirikawa-sama.

Masato Hijirikawa: Why do you have that?

Otoya Ittoki: I figured at some point this might happen, hehe!

Ittoki-kun flashes a cheeky grin.

Masato Hijirikawa: …

Tomochika Shibuya: I'm back…! Listen, I can't even... He's making me have a follow-up!

Haruka Nanami: Huh? Tomo-chan, too?

Tomochika Shibuya: "Too"? What do you mean?

Otoya Ittoki: We all have to get tested again, too. Right, Masa?

Masato Hijirikawa: Yes...

Otoya Ittoki: If everyone needs to get tested again, then there's no point to this checkup round. Does the principal really have a medical license?

Select the Phrase!

持ってるよ絶対！ He must have it! (+0 Love, +10 Music)

Haruka Nanami: The principal is an outstanding person. I'm sure he has a medical license. I doubt he would lie...

Tomochika Shibuya: Well, I don't think he would lie, but he does say some out-there stuff. That guy's flying by the seat of his pants...

Tomochika Shibuya: Aw well, it's your turn next. You should go.

Haruka Nanami: Okay...

持ってるとは思うけど。 I think he has it. (+0 Love +5 Music)

Haruka Nanami: Maybe it's difficult for him to do checkups for everybody by himself?

Tomochika Shibuya: I wouldn't say he's having a hard time, it's more like he's just being sloppy. Aw well, it's your turn.

Haruka Nanami: Okay.

さぁ・・・Who knows… (+0 Love, +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: He probably does, but I wonder how he found the time to get a medical license when he's a renowned idol...

Tomochika Shibuya: The principal sure is full of mysteries. Aw well, it's your turn now.

Haruka Nanami: Okay.

Haruka Nanami: Excuse me.

Shining Saotome: Come in, patient!

Haruka Nanami: … I'm not a patient, but I'm in your care.

Shining Saotome: HA HA HA! No problem! I can cure even incurable diseases in a flash!

Incurable diseases…? Then I'm sure Ittoki-kun will be okay.

Shining Saotome: Then I'll begin your checkup! KYU-PEEEEN! Opening my Saotome EYES!

The principal's eyes fly wide open! … I think.

Shining Saotome: Height, 157 centimeters. Weight, 45 kilograms. Heartbeat, normal. Blood pressure, normal. White blood cell count and red blood cell count, looking good. Hematocrit, AST, ALT...

Shining Saotome: Everything is normal! Now I will begin the medical questionnaire. Please step on this!

The principal holds out a photo of Shinomiya-san.

Select the Phrase!

そんなことできません。I can't do that. (+20 Love, +0 Music)

Shining Saotome: No matter what?

Haruka Nanami: Yes... I'm sorry.

Shining Saotome: Hmm, seems like you have a serious illness that can't be cured by neither me or the waters of Kusatsu*. I'll do another checkup on you later.

*Kusatsu is referring to the Kusatsu Onsen, which is a hot spring in Japan that is famous for its health benefits.

え・・・これを・・・？ Huh? On this? (+10 Love, +0 Music)

Shining Saotome: Step on this, please.

Haruka Nanami: Eek...

Shinomiya-san has the sweetest smile in the photograph. I know it's only a photograph, but I can't step on it...

Haruka Nanami: I-I can't...

Shining Saotome: Hrm? This is a worrisome and dangerous disease. Even I can't cure it!

・・・はい。 ... Okay. (+0 Love +0 Music)

I say that, but... Shinomiya-san has the sweetest smile in the photograph...

If I were to step on this, I would feel so bad... Maybe if I just pretended to step on it...

I show that I'm stepping on the photograph, but I make sure to stop my foot right before touching it.

Shining Saotome: Cheating is a no-no-no-NO! You need to really grind and get in there good!

Haruka Nanami: I-I'm sorry... I can't.

Shining Saotome: Hmm, seems like this disease is quite dire! This is one disease that even I can't cure!

Eek... Even the principal can't cure it…?

Otoya Ittoki: Huh? You're also getting a follow-up?

Haruka Nanami: That's right.

Otoya Ittoki: Hmm... The only one who's left is Natsuki...

Natsuki Shinomiya: I'm back~!

Haruka Nanami: Umm… how did it go?

Natsuki Shinomiya: Saotome-sensei told me that my body is more than healthy. However, it seems my heart isn't.

Natsuki Shinomiya: He told me that it seems that there's somebody else in my heart. We're not balanced.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Umm... so does that mean I’ve had somebody else inside of me this entire time and I've never noticed? Isn't that what’s called a split personality?

Haruka Nanami: Huh…?

Select the Phrase!

そ、それは・・・ W-well... (+10 Love, +0 Music)

Natsuki Shinomiya: I see, I get it now... What is the other me like? Also...

Natsuki Shinomiya: What causes me to switch? … That’s right, Syo-chan might know.

Natsuki Shinomiya: I'll go ask him.

Haruka Nanami: Ah! Shinomiya-san!

I chase after Shinomiya-san.

そんなことっ。 That can't be true! (+20 Love, +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: Shinomiya-san is Shinomiya-san. You don't have another you.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Are… you sure? But there are gaps in my memory... Maybe what he said is true...

Natsuki Shinomiya: What is the other me like? Also, what causes me to switch…?

Natsuki Shinomiya: That’s right! Syo-chan might know. I'll go ask him!

Haruka Nanami: Ah! S-Shinomiya-san!

I chase after Shinomiya-san quickly.

学園長先生がそう言うなら。 The principal must be right. (+0 Love, +10 Music)

Natsuki Shinomiya: Yes… you're right. Haa... What is the other me like? Also, what causes me to switch?

Natsuki Shinomiya: Maybe Syo-chan knows something…? I'll go ask him.

Haruka Nanami: Ah! S-Shinomiya-san!

I chase after Shinomiya-san quickly.

Syo Kurusu: Huh? What triggers your split personality?

Natsuki Shinomiya: Yes. I was thinking that there must be something that triggers the switch.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Since we're roommates, I thought you might know something.

Syo Kurusu: That's tough to say... Well...

Syo-kun shoots me a troubled look.

Syo-kun and I know how scary it is when Shinomiya-san takes off his glasses... We can't say anything careless.

Syo Kurusu: Uhh...

Natsuki Shinomiya: For example, do I switch personalities when I'm sleeping? When I'm holding a microphone? Gripping a handle? Removing my glasses? … Hm? Glasses…?

Syo Kurusu: Gla… sses? Nah, can't be your glasses...

Natsuki Shinomiya: How are you so sure?

Syo Kurusu: Huh? … Just a gut feeling.

Haruka Nanami: I-I don't think… it's your glasses, either.

Natsuki Shinomiya: … You two are acting a little strange... Maybe I should try taking off my glasses...

Syo Kurusu: AAAH, HOLD IT!

Syo-kun grips Shinomiya-san's arm.

Syo Kurusu: I-I'm COMPLETELY normal right now! Nothing strange going on at all! R-right?

Syo-kun exchanges looks with me. I-I have to go along with the story...

Haruka Nanami: Y-yes! Like he said. Nothing… strange at all.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Really? I guess if you say so...

Syo Kurusu: Phew.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Syo-kun lets go of Shinomiya-san's arm.

… However.

Natsuki Shinomiya: … But on second thought...

Shinomiya-san reaches for his glasses.

Haruka Nanami: Shi... N-Natsuki-kun!

I swiftly reach out and grab Shinomiya-san's hand.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Yes? What is it, Haru-chan?

Shinomiya-san, hearing me call him by his first name, breaks into a beaming smile and squeezes my hand in return.

Haruka Nanami: U-um... Y-you look nice with your glasses.

Natsuki Shinomiya: Thank you very much! I love these glasses too! 

Syo Kurusu: Oh, is that so... I think you look great in those glasses, too. Never take them off for the rest of your life!

Natsuki Shinomiya: I don't think that's possible even if you wanted me to, Syo-chan! Hmm, there's definitely something strange going on here. Maybe I… really should try taking off these glasses...

Syo Kurusu: AAAH! Wait, wait, WAIT! I'll bring somebody who knows what to do. Stay here!

Haruka Nanami: Ah, me too...

Syo Kurusu: Listen to me. Don't you dare take off your glasses before I get back. I'll cut all ties with you if you do!

Natsuki Shinomiya: …! Okay, I understand. I'll wait patiently!

Syo Kurusu: … So that's the gist. We want to prevent Natsuki from taking off his glasses, but what do you think we should do…?

I had gathered all of A Class and Syo-kun had gathered all of S Class.

Everyone is very cooperative since all of us know what happens when Shinomiya-san takes off his glasses.

Otoya Ittoki: Yeah, it's always a disaster when Natsuki takes off his glasses.

Masato Hijirikawa: We went through much grief during that pool incident.

Tokiya Ichinose: If we slip up on this, the entire academy might end up being demolished. You have my full cooperation.

We inaugurate the "Prevent Natsuki Shinomiya from Taking Off His Glasses Group" and begin exchanging opinions.

Otoya Ittoki: I got it! If you praise Natsuki's glasses enough, maybe he'll never try taking them off?

Masato Hijirikawa: Could it possibly be that simple…?

Haruka Nanami: Umm... Actually, I already tried praising his glasses and it was no use.

Otoya Ittoki: I see... I thought it was a great plan... That's too bad.

Ren Jinguji: Then how about this? I'll dress up as a fortune teller and tell him that if he takes off his glasses, he'll get cursed.

Ren Jinguji: I'll fill his head with all the unlucky things that would happen if he takes them off. How about it? Sounds interesting, don't you think, Lady?

Jinguji-san puts his arm around my shoulder.

… Umm, I heard that he enjoys seducing women, but how should I react to this?

Tokiya Ichinose: Ren... Restrain yourself. You're troubling her.

Ren Jinguji: My bad. My lady is so charming that I couldn't help myself... My apologies.

Jinguji-san winks at me.

He is incredibly suave. Idol candidacy really suits him.

I understand why girls scream about him all the time.

Tokiya Ichinose: Anyway, going back to the original topic, how about we ask Saotome-san to tell him, "My diagnosis that you have a split personality was a mistake"?

After Ichinose-san finishes his sentence, everyone's expressions change.

Without anyone saying a word, I could tell what everyone's thinking.

"That's it!"

Shining Saotome: No can do!

We had immediately headed over to Saotome-sensei and explained the situation, but...

Syo Kurusu: Please, help us! We're begging you! The peace of the academy rests in your hands!

Shining Saotome: My word is final! There are no take-backs!

No matter what anybody says, he refuses to change his mind.

Tokiya Ichinose: … This is no use.

Ichinose-san turns his back on the principal and leaves.

Otoya Ittoki: H-hey! Wait up!

Syo Kurusu: Why are you giving up so easily? You're the one who suggested that we should have him change his word.

Tokiya Ichinose: I said that would be the best solution, but the way this is going, it's impossible to get that man to do as we ask. This is a waste of time.

Syo Kurusu: Then what should we do?

Tokiya Ichinose: … Let me think. How about we try this?

???: S-Shinomiya-san! I-I made a mistake in saying that you have a split personality!

Ichinose-san's strategy is to have someone pretend they're the principal and tell him that the diagnosis was a mistake.

Taking the principal's height into account, we had Hijirikawa-sama dress as the principal.

We're hiding around the corner of the hall and watching Hijirikawa-sama from afar… but we can only see Shinomiya-san from where we are.

Otoya Ittoki: Is this going to work? Do your best, Masa...

Syo Kurusu: We're toast if this falls through...

Natsuki Shinomiya: Huh…? A mistake?

???: Y-yeees. A mistake's a mistake.

Hijirikawa-sama does his best to copy the principal's voice, but… he sounds a little off...

Everyone else is probably thinking the same thing considering how anxiously they're watching. I hope he doesn't get discovered...

Natsuki Shinomiya: I see... Is that it! It was all a mistake. I'm so glad!

Shinomiya-san readily believes the words of the disguised Hijirikawa-sama.

Otoya Ittoki: Huh? … He believed him? Really?

Syo Kurusu: Ahh, he's too pure... He really is naive.

Syo Kurusu: He probably doesn't think the Shining he's talking to could possibly be an impostor.

Everyone lets out a sigh of relief. The "Prevent Natsuki Shinomiya from Taking Off His Glasses Group" disperses.

A few days pass. Everyone who has gone for a follow-up checkup has been told that they're in good health.

Haruka Nanami: I'm relieved that there's nothing wrong with me. I'm glad everyone else is in good health, too!

Natsuki Shinomiya: Yes, I'm also glad. If anything were to happen to you, I...

Haruka Nanami: N-not just me, but everyone else, too! That includes you, Shinomiya-san...

Natsuki Shinomiya: I agree. I was wondering what I would do if I really do have a split personality that’s triggered by taking off my glasses...

Eek... In reality, that is the truth, but… I can't tell him.

It hurts to lie, but there's nothing else we can do.

Natsuki Shinomiya: I'm relieved to know that it was all a misunderstanding. That means it must be fine to take off my glasses when I kiss!

Haruka Nanami: Huh?! K-kiss?!

Natsuki Shinomiya: Of course. They may get in the way depending on the situation.

Haruka Nanami: U-um... Romance is banned in the academy... I don't think you'd be allowed to kiss…?

Natsuki Shinomiya: Romance? Isn't a kiss just a greeting? That's the way it is overseas, usually.

Haruka Nanami: Overseas…?

Natsuki Shinomiya: Yes. I lived in France until I was five years old.

Haruka Nanami: B-but, this is Japan... A kiss is very special... You should only do it with someone you love...

Natsuki Shinomiya: Hmm... That means I can kiss someone who's really special to me!

Select the Phrase!

そう・・・かも？ Perhaps…? (+5 Love, +0 Music)

Natsuki Shinomiya: That must be it!

Haruka Nanami: … That's not what I meant... You see, the school rules...

Just for a moment, Shinomiya-san's lips brush my cheek.

Haruka Nanami: Ah… um… uh...

Natsuki Shinomiya: This is proof of my affection. Hehehe!

あの・・・そういうことではなく・・・ Umm... That's not it... (+20 Love, +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: Romance is banned according to the school rules, so...

Natsuki Shinomiya: I think what's banned is a boy and a girl dating each other, not the feeling of love for someone else.

Haruka Nanami: That… might be true. But… I think a kiss is something done between two people who truly love each other...

Natsuki Shinomiya: … Do you hate me?

Haruka Nanami: No… I would never…! Um… I like you very much... You're my partner… after all...

Natsuki Shinomiya: If that's the case, there's no problem at all!

Peck! Just for a moment, Shinomiya-san's lips brush my cheek.

Haruka Nanami: !!!

Natsuki Shinomiya: I like you very much, too.

えっと・・・その・・・ Umm... Well... (+10 Love, +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: A kiss… shouldn't be given so casually...

Natsuki Shinomiya: It's not casual at all!

Peck! Just for a moment, Shinomiya-san's lips brush my cheek.

Haruka Nanami: !!!

Natsuki Shinomiya: This is proof that I trust you absolutely. I would never kiss with no thought at all.

No matter how much I try explaining to him, I don't get through to him.

Starting from that day, Shinomiya-san has begun occasionally kissing me on the cheek.

… Where did my explanation go wrong?

Is it because… he's a genius? I feel Shinomiya-san's way of thinking is different from most people.

Maybe… the way he feels about a kiss is different from how I feel about it.

Even so… every time he kisses my cheek, my heart skips a beat and the part of my cheek where his lips touched feels hot.

Why? I feel embarrassed, but at the same time… happy.

What did I do?

Haruka Nanami: Hey, Kuppuru, what do you think?

Tomochika Shibuya: "What do you think"...? What in the world are you asking your cat?

Haruka Nanami: Ah, Tomo-chan! Welcome back!

Tomochika Shibuya: I'm home! So spill! Let me know what's on your mind. You can try talking to the cat, but all he can do is meow back at you!

Haruka Nanami: Well...

It's true that all he can say is "meow", but I feel like Kuppuru understands what I tell him.

… But putting that aside...

Haruka Nanami: The thing is...

I tell Tomo-chan about Shinomiya-san.

Tomochika Shibuya: I see. So your heart skips a beat when he kisses you…?

Select the Phrase!

うん。 Yeah. (+20 Love, +5 Music)

Haruka Nanami: Yeah. My heart starts pounding, my cheeks go hot, and my head goes blank...

Tomochika Shibuya: Hmm? Could that mean spring has finally come for you?

Haruka Nanami: Spring…?

Tomochika Shibuya: Well, romance is banned by the school, so I think it's fine to not know what I'm talking about. What you don't know won't hurt you!

Haruka Nanami: O-okay...

挨拶だと思うけど・・・・ I think it's just a greeting, but... (+0 Love, +0 Music)

Tomochika Shibuya: Hmm. A greeting, huh? Then… here!

Haruka Nanami: Huh!

Tomo-chan kisses me on the cheek.

Haruka Nanami: W-what are you doing?

Tomochika Shibuya: Greeting you! So? How was it? Is your heart pounding?

Haruka Nanami: I was surprised.

Tomochika Shibuya: I see, just surprise…? Think about what's different between how you felt just now and when Natsuki gives you his greeting kiss.

Tomochika Shibuya: I think you'll figure out something.

Haruka Nanami: O-okay... Thank you.

だ、だってキス・・・だし・・・I-it's a kiss, after all... (+10 Love, +5 Music)

Tomochika Shibuya: Well, anyone would get flustered if they were kissed...

At that moment...

Kuppuru jumps onto my shoulder and kisses me on the cheek.

Tomochika Shibuya: What timing…! This kitty knows exactly what he's doing...

Haruka Nanami: Knows what…?

Tomochika Shibuya: So? How do you feel being kissed by Kuppuru?

Haruka Nanami: How I feel? It's just Kuppuru...

Tomochika Shibuya: … Well, a cat can't compare to Natsuki, I guess. However, one thing they have in common is that they're both uninhibited.

Haruka Nanami: Uninhibited…?

Tomochika Shibuya: Am I wrong?

Haruka Nanami: No... I guess not.

Whenever Shinomiya-san kisses me, my heart beats so fast and I have no idea how I should react...

But I have to get used to it so we can keep being partners… I think.

It'll take time, but I'll do my best...

Mini Game

Ringo Tsukimiya: How are you doing? Have you become used to your one-on-one lessons? I've had you on an assigned song this entire time, but I think you can move to the next step now.

Ringo Tsukimiya: You've improved a lot. Now you must create a song and bring it to completion.

Ringo Tsukimiya: But before that, I'll have you do the last test for the assigned song. Use all the skills you've learned to their full extent and do your best!

Ringo Tsukimiya: Are you ready? Okay, start!

S RANK

Natsuki Shinomiya: Just now, we've become one. Your heartbeat, your breath, your soul... I could feel all of you.

Haruka Nanami: I felt you too, Shinomiya-san… although I can't say I felt it quite as deeply as you do.

It would be nice if we could always weave music together like this.

Chapter End

[onyxisnotuniqueenough]

i have 35 followers on this account.

and while 35 is not a lot, this is the most amount of people i can reach. i should have been doing this sooner but have been FUCKING STUPID about it and have kept silent about it on tumblr to maintain some kind of semblance of escapism for myself here. but my escapism doesn't matter. can palestinians enjoy the luxury of escaping their situation right now? are they LITERALLY able to escape the bombing. nevermind escape, survive any of the tactics pulled by israel to ensure their genocide?

there's a sense of guilt looming over my head telling me that i should be doing more, but in truth, there is not much i can do to help. telling me that i shouldn't take for granted the roof over my head, the safety of my loved ones, food, water, electricity, the ability to literally communicate with the outside world. so let me do the best i can and spread the message with as many people i can.

if you're also wondering what you can do to help, here are some things i am doing and am in the process of doing :

- follow news about gaza through livestreams from the outside : multiple sources have provided access to a livestream of what's going on in gaza. israel has cut off all communication and electricity in gaza and i have a pit in my stomach telling me that they just want no eyes on them for whatever they want to do. all we can do is watch from afar. stay updated.

- watch tiktoks from people who have signed up for the creativity fund on tiktok or similar stuff on other platforms : if you're not able to donate yourself, you can find lots of creators on tiktok using their 5 seconds of YOUR watchtime to donate to help palestine.

- continue sharing, promoting, and "liking" content about palestine : israel is literally doing its best to keep us and palestinians in the dark, metaphorically and literally, from what's happening and what they're planning to do. raise palestinian voices, help them grow, share their stories. everything is forever on the internet ? great. take advantage of that. sharing is a way to ensure that all information we have on the situation stays alive and can't be shadowbanned or deleted or anything. the more people palestinian voices reach, the harder it would be to silence them. it also makes it accessible to anyone and everyone to see the horrors committed by the state of israel, and debunk any fucking idiotic shit their twitter accounts is trying to spew with their photoshopped cartons of milk, their very false infographics and their general flow of lies and propaganda.

- if you can, email or contact your elected representatives. they're...well...supposed to represent you, and their position is more advantaged to get something done. here's a video on tiktok that i found explaining the importance of emails (specifically in canada, bit i'm sure it applies to other places too) :

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMjsax5Qj/

- boycott brands that support or fund israel. now first, let me tell you : the 729 or 871 you find at the beginning of a barcode is not a certain sign the product has been manufactured in israel. this has been debunked since the origin of this lie in 2021 :

https://factcheck.afp.com/social-media-posts-share-misleading-claim-barcode-prefixes-can-show-if-product-made-israel

https://www.google.com/amp/s/thelogicalindian.com/amp/fact-check/barcode-israel-28806

if you have a doubt, fact-check whatever company owns the product to buy, it only takes a few clicks.

second, if you think that boycotting is useless because you're just a grain of sand in the universe : that's absolutely not true. humanity is just a bunch of grains of sand. humanity is a COLLECTIVE. stop thinking your actions don't have an impact. they absolutely do. that's how we've been capable of making such an imapct on companies' stock already!

you probably already know about Starbucks, McDonalds, and Disney. Here are some more companies and brands to stop giving your money to :

- HP : Hewlett Packard helps run the biometric ID system that Israel uses to restrict Palestinian movement.

- Siemens : is complicit in apartheid Israel’s illegal settlement enterprise through its planned construction of the EuroAsia Interconnector. This will link Israel’s electricity grid with Europe’s, allowing illegal settlements on stolen Palestinian land to benefit from Israel-EU trade of electricity produced from fossil gas.

- Puma : Puma sponsors the Israel Football Association, which includes teams in Israel’s illegal settlements on occupied Palestinian land.

- Sodastream (has been bought by Pepsico) : Soda Steam is actively complicit in Israel's policy of displacing the indigenous Bedouin-Palestinian citizens of Israel in the Naqab (Negev). SodaStream have a long history of mistreatment of and discrimination against Palestinian workers.

- Ahava : Ahava cosmetics has its production site, visitor center and main store in an illegal Israeli settlement.

- Sabra : Sabra hummus is a joint venture between PepsiCo and the Strauss Group, an Israeli food company that provides financial support to the Israeli army.

these are the first results that popped up with a simple google search, but that's not all. There's also L'oréal, Garnier, Nestlé, and so many more. it's hard to keep track of all of them and jaw-dropping to see just how many of them are involved and actively supporting Israel.

here are some more links for brands and companies to boycott :

https://bdsmovement.net/get-involved/what-to-boycott

https://www.ethicalconsumer.org/ethicalcampaigns/boycotts

multiple instagram and tiktok pages also

if you've already purchased products from them, obviously, don't throw them away. If any product from one of these companies is absolutely essential or if you don't have any other viable choice, it's understandable. Do your best, and whatever effort you make on your scale is helpful. This is also an opportunity to support local shops and businesses, diy your own beauty products, cook more on your own, and instead of directing your money towards genocide, you could direct to donating to aid-to-palestine charities or literally to your pocket. but honestly, the idea of a 70+year ethnic cleansing and literal genocide should be enough.

- now this seems like the most obvious one so that's why it's the last bullet point : donate to charities that support palestine, sign petitions, etc.

there is footage out there of thousands of trucks that cannot cross palestine/"israel" borders because. well. of israel. these trucks contain food, water and hygiene products that donations were supposed to provide. this is heartbreaking that the help you hoped to provide couldn't reach the people it was supposed to reach. if you're thinking your donation is useless, well, i get it. i am having trouble even saying anything about that, because I myself am worried that it could be useless. But you have to stay hopeful, cause that's all most of us have right now. I would say to absolutely continue donating whatever you can to charities that support palestine, that provide water, food, shelter, and emergency medical care. You have to hope that it'll somehow reach them. You have to hope that it'll somehow stop.

At the time of writing, voting results at the UN General Assembly show a margin of 120!! to 14 (and 45 abstinents) for a ceasefire and immediate humanitarian truce between Palestine and israel. And now while that might seem like amazing news, let's remember that the General Assembly is for non-binding resolutions. FOR A BINDING RESOLUTION, the decision must be made by the Security Council. I'm not gonna explain everything, but the permanent members of the UN Security Council are fucking it over. here's full context :

Also, the letter tO THANK Biden that countless celebrities ??? disappointing too. some names on that list really surprised me, and i'm disappointed that people i have supprted in the past have turned around and thanked biden for supporting a genocide. it's so stupid and disappointing.

of course, feel free to tell me if i've cited the wrong sources, if i've missed something, or have said false info in anyway.

i'd also like to add that arab palestinians are not the only victims and that countless innocent jewish people have also been affected by the genocide. that the press vest has meant norhing so far. and that israel is not looking that closely into who they're killing. as Daniel Hagari said, Israel's method is "destruction, not accuracy."

MY HEART GOES OUT TO ANY VICTIM IN GAZA. IN PALESTINE.

BTW : I am not open to conversation with zionists or pro-israels. keep your anon asks very very very far away from me. i will not lend a ❤️listening ear❤️ to someone who ignores or defends genocide, and i don't see anything wrong with ignoring that kind of rhetoric. fuck you.

[joshriku]

ages ago i asked for prompts on twitter and i think ava had requested cherik + bodyswap, and i forgot i wrote that til i found it looking at my files so i figured i'd also post it here ages later lol it's too short for ao3! but perfect length for tumblr.

-

“I don't know how you do it,” says Charles. 

His voice—it's Erik's, no doubt. Words coming from his mouth, his body. His body, that Charles is currently inhabiting. 

“Do what?” asks Erik, with—with his voice, God damn it. This whole situation is so strange. 

It's supposed to wear off in a few hours, said the other teachers. Just a mutant learning to control their powers, nothing else. But now Charles is Erik, and Erik is Charles, and it's been the most insanity-inducing hours of his life. They haven't left Charles' room, as they decided to spend this ordeal as quietly as possible: in bed, reading. 

“This. Alone with your thoughts,” Charles says. “I'm miserable. And overstimulated, even though I am not doing anything. It's…” 

So much. His skin is prickly, impossible to touch. He can sense the clock ticking—not just the one inside the mansion, but everyone's. Phones buzzing or vibrating. The kitchen. Jewelry. The televisions. The satellites. The cities further away. The core of the Earth—

Erik takes his hand. Charles takes a moment to note how different his own hand is, when he's being touched—this is not comforting. So many times he's held someone, held a student, tried to comfort them with a gesture. And now that he's being comforted by his body—God, he should never be close to people.

“Breathe in,” Erik tells him. “Narrow your focus to one thing. Try your wheelchair.”

It's such a big power. To narrow it to something so small like his wheelchair feels like an impossible task, but then he notices a little helping hand: it's sloppy and careless, but the undeniable sensation of a telepathic push. Erik’s not good at it—good God, how is he holding up with all those voices?—but he’s good enough to guide Charles to his objective.

His body slumps against the bed, once the world is reduced to just the wheelchair.

“How do you do it?” Charles repeats. “It’s so quiet. It’s so lonely. And this power—it’s too great, I’m afraid. How does your body not fall apart? How does your mind not fall apart? How do you—”

Erik cuts him off. “I am wondering the same thing about you, as we speak. There is so much noise. People cannot stop thinking, not even for one second. How do you not go insane?”

He supposes the same questions he asked have the same answer Charles would give Erik: you get used to it. You settle into it like a second skin, until one day you no longer get to think about it.

“You get used to it,” he says, although he knows Erik must have heard it, anyway. His grip on Charles’ telepathy isn’t that good—Charles presumes he doesn’t know how to leave his mind. Erik hums anyway. “I suppose it’s more impressive right now, to be in a body where—it’s truly yours. Mine, it feels like it shares a bit with every single person. I cannot stop myself from seeing through their lenses, even for a second. I guess being alone right now—truly and well alone, it just… makes me wonder. How you don’t go insane. How you talk to people, how you are such a good judge of character. I can only be one because of my powers, and even then, I can go so wrong.”

Erik raises an eyebrow in his direction. It’s so odd, looking at his face. Does Charles really look like this? No wonder he got into so many arguments. He’s rather annoyed at that face.

“Funny, again. I have been pondering that myself. If I could listen to every thought, every sentiment, and every motivation behind someone’s actions—well, perhaps I’d become a hermit. It takes incredible strength to do this. I admire you.”

Charles smiles a little. “I suppose we are both so exceptional,” he says. He squeezes Erik’s hand again, trying to focus on Erik’s body, wanting to be held by it instead. “Only a few more hours to go.”

“Maybe we won’t go insane in three hours,” Erik smiles back. “Who knows? We have got plenty of time.”

[supop]

What do you think BTS will do next as soloists? Which member has been the most impressive in Chapter 2?

Hi hey hello :) I’ve been MIA for months but I’m surprised to see I’ve still been getting lots of asks. Did you miss me? Did ya did ya did ya? Going by the number of messages in my inbox I’d say, yes :) Sorry for ghosting you guys; I simply got bored with BTS and stopped keeping up with the group as whole. Meanwhile, their solo era has been fun to observe, huh? Some things I expected, other things I did not. I’m sure you’ve all missed supop thoughts. So, without further adieu, here are my guesses for 2023-2024, in no particular order:

Truthfully, I’ve been trying to post for the past 3 days but tumblr is glitching, and none of my posts are saving. Just as I was about to say F it.... if you can read this, then the issue must be fixed, right? This post hasn’t been proofread, so ignore any grammatical errors and the weird use of punctuation. I have a flight to catch soon, so I’ll answer more asks when I land, and as always.... keep it cute~

Individual YouTube channels (starting off with this because there’s been rumors about it for months now; I doubt all members will have one, but I feel like j-hope or Jungkook may go this route. I actually started to believe it when j-hope posted about his new Leica camera a while back. I know he’s into photography, but there’s always a deeper meaning behind everything he does/posts and he’s been carrying that camera around to all the events he’s been attending; maybe it’s just me overthinking, but it’s giving vlog material at the very least. Each member has a YouTube topic channel, but this will likely be a platform for more direct professional/business use where other creatives are featured or personal use for vlogging, trips, unedited material etc. without constant company oversight; aka without every single piece of content being scheduled by bighit/hybe and distributed via weverse; I also wonder if any more of them will get solo shows like Suchwita on the BangtanTV channel)

Individual Twitter accounts (this one seems farfetched, but so were their instagrams at one point; if they do indeed go this route I can eventually see some members leaving it up to the company to handle their respective social medias while others take a more hands-on approach with their fans—since instagram alone already seems like a struggle for some; they can also repost content from instagram which would also give them more individual exposure since the two social media platforms tend to have completely different audiences; it would also be nice for collaborators/brands/media to be able to tag them directly instead of @ the group account; finally, there’s a reason why each member has stuck to uploading all personal content on their respective instagrams since Dec 2021, so expect the group Twitter to become even more desolate than it already is if this does happen)

Individual TikTok accounts (Instagram, YouTube and Twitter....then why not TikTok too? It would make more sense when it comes to promoting their solo music and once again connecting with their respective audiences/fanbases; it only makes sense for solo artists to promote their solo work on solo accounts especially when their music and personalities are all so different; that’s 7 different audiences that should be catered to instead of trying to fit everyone into one big purple-colored box. All 7 members together represent BTS, but no single member is a representation of BTS; there’s a reason why JITB is completely different from anything BTS has released as group, and it’s the same reason why Indigo is so different from JITB; someone who likes JITB may not care for 90% of BTS’s discography and the same would apply to other members’ solo albums that have yet to be released; this is the obvious truth, but armys will continue to delude themselves as if the term bias doesn’t exist.)

Individual Facebook pages (and lastly, Facebook because all artists need a Facebook page to be able to link their music to their personal Instagram accounts; the BTS official Instagram account has it but when you scroll through you only see JK and RM’s music, which to me isn’t fair to other members who have music under their official Spotify profiles; the members are artists first, right? not influencers, therefore, artistry should be respected in a similar manner)

Opening their comment section on Instagram (limited comments are boring, but i don’t blame them; I’d sure they’re well aware that a select group of their “fans” are unhinged; just look at the way those same “fans” have attacked people who they’ve deemed to be “wrongly” associated with them or people they’ve “accidentally” followed; honestly I’m also worried about the occasional wave of hate/d.threats some members would receive in their comment sections from deranged akgaes; I will never understand not liking someone, yet going out of your way to invade their public accounts or content posted related to them just to spew hateful nonsense or send d.threats about how much you don’t like them; take a breather because it’s never ever that deep. And if you ever feel the need to take it that far towards anyone (celebrity figure or not), then may your pathetic existence quickly reach its expiration date; people also seem to have a lot more balls on instagram, so it’s a good thing Instagram’s safety features are a lot better than Twitter’s—i.e., the report and block buttons def work)

Following more people on Instagram (lol honestly following 0 people isn’t anything new from the celebrity pov and we can all thank Bey for establishing that, but following only your 7 group members is just...meh; are they gonna live as 7 for the rest of their lives? No, but they probably have to keep it this way otherwise there’s a possibility that every single non-bts related account on their following list would be harassed and stalked to oblivion by deranged fans; not to mention as it is, BH/Hybe staff already do such a great job at leaking private info related to BTS, you would think their proximity to such high-profile celebrities would result in ironclad NDAs but I guess not...sigh when will we be free)

Individual brand deals/endorsements (this one is already under way and was really really obvious from the start because we all know “7 or nothing”—not necessarily their bond but the way they’ve been marketed to fans—has always been nothing more than a sales gimmick; seriously not every member will have the skillset that a specific brand is looking for, so let’s let the ones who shine, shine; instead of trying to sell the lackluster ones as a package deal; “buy one get one free” should never apply to people; for the members yet to be announced there’s been rumors of various brands so let’s just wait and see...hopefully no controversial brands are chosen.

Individual fashion global ambassadorships (similar to the above, except I think only the members interested in fashion should get involved in this, but then again, this is the k-entertainment industry we’re talking about, and as of late ambassadorships have become part of the whole “album promo” package deal; either way I’m sure the money is good for BTS, and at the end of the day it’s a win-win; interest or not, the artist gets paid and the brand gets “exposure”) **side note: ambassadorships are cool, but the real deal would be with whichever brand pursues a true partnership with the artist by creating a collaborative fashion line or collection that expresses their artistic vision through fashion and/or even a performance that speaks to the brand’s image. pretty red carpet and campaign pictures are nice, but what the world needs is a tangible piece that can be held or tangible memory that can be seen. I think that’s what truly separates the artist-turned-fashion icon/creative director/business mogul from the rest.

More fashion week appearances (so far we’ve gotten Louis Vuitton, Dior, Hermès. I’m glad j-hope didn’t/hasn’t yet? signed with LV otherwise we never would’ve gotten 3 completely different, yet ultimately iconic looks from him in the span of just 3 days; Jimin for Dior; Suga for Valentino; other members may also attend shows for the brands they will be announced as Global/House Ambassadors) **another side note: Hobi wore clothes from LV’s unreleased collection which is rare feat in itself and he was also invited behind the scenes, shown the collection prior to the show, and he entered and exited the venue via a private entrance that was reserved for VIPs. I also saw a photo of Hobi with the Arnaults. Do you know how difficult it is to meet them? You can’t just meet them lol, they’d first have to want to meet you. And Hoseok did that with not 1, but 3 (maybe 4 because 2 of the brothers attended the Dior show) members of the family, including the LVMH CEO himself. It’s not even enough to be a high-profile celebrity; You usually have to have a long-standing working relationship with them or with one of their brands which means their connection with Hoseok must run pretty deep, and they have plenty of trust in him as a global representative. The same thing applies to Hermès. They do no care how rich or famous you are. Before you’re even able to purchase one of their bags directly, you’d have to be a longtime/VIP shopper. Even then getting a bag isn’t guaranteed. You’ll forever be on a waitlist, it could even take years, until you’re invited to purchase one. You also can’t pick and choose which model or color of bag you want lol. Everyone knows about the Birkin, but most are lucky to even be offered a Kelly for purchase. And not only did Hoseok meet with their executives, they also gifted him a Haut à courroies 50 bag (the one in his airport photos upon arrival from Paris) which is one of their largest bags, and is more difficult to secure than a regular Birkin. In short, he got the full VVIP treatment from both rival brands. Who else can relate? With that said, more than an ambassadorship, there could be a j-hope fashion line or a collection of some sort in the works; or perhaps he was doing field research to decide which brand will be in charge of designing his world tour outfits....who knows, only time will tell; as for fashion week there’s still New York, London, Milan, more in Paris, and even Seoul; appearances and shows will depend on the brand)

More solo magazine covers (this also isn’t anything new but even Hybe’s nugu groups with zero impact and lots of payola are already getting solo covers in top magazines, attending fashion week, and having brand ambassadorships under their belts, so it’s ridiculous it took BigHit/Hybe almost a decade to allow bts members the same opportunity)

Vogue, GQ, Hot Ones? video interviews (as much as I love a good magazine interview, there’s nothing better than being able to observe body language; I was surprised when we got GQ’s ‘10 things Jin’, but it only proves that more spontaneous less unscripted interviews where the gp can easily tune in are no longer beyond the realm of possibilities; which means I’m expecting Vogue to come through with any of the following: Life in Looks, 24 Hours with, 73 Questions, Get Ready with, Beauty Routine, etc; more 10 things with GQ; and Hot Ones would be great)

More solo interviews (see tv appearances)

More solo TV appearances w/Korean media (I know that new Mnet program is currently in the works; and I’m kind of hoping for more popular variety shows and broadcasts; anything that would promote their music domestically vs. the fan-targeted content posted on BangtanTV)

More solo TV appearances w/Western media (it’s no secret that Korean media can be restrictive when it comes to artistic expression, so similar appearances at tv programs like late night shows for an interview and performance would be great; just like they’ve done for many years as a group, so it’s ridiculous how they’re not getting a similar promotional rollout for their solo careers)

More solo red carpet appearances (this one technically isn’t a stand alone event, but you can include any activities here that aren’t necessarily centered around them or any of the other ones I’ve listed; like them getting invited to a movie premiere of a friend of a friend’s)

More solo performances (probably minor ones because I really don’t think any of them will put on a performance as major or as lengthy as the scale of Hobipalooza’s headliner setlist and preparation; unless of course its j-hope himself; as for festival performances, there’s of course Lollapalooza, but we also have Coachella, Rolling Loud, Something in the Water, Wireless Festival, Splash Festival, Made in America, The Governors Ball; most of these festivals have a primarily hip-hop/rap-centric audience, so don’t expect vocal line to make any appearances. I can’t speak for Yoongi or Namjoon, but I doubt Hoseok will be interested in doing anything less than a headlining stage. Otherwise expect performances at the usual Western music award shows, year-end Asian music award shows, and South Korea’s music bank/inkigayo)

Solo world tour announcement (we can dream right?)

More solo music collaborations (there’s been many rumors on this one so let’s way and see; hopefully collabs involving actual good music and more collabs with artists that don’t cater to the demographic of bubblegum pop music lovers; seriously enough is enough with the abysmal lyrics and the lack of good production on some of these collabs)

More solo albums (duh! and emphasis on the solo part; as much as I love a good feature or collab, there’s no good reason for those featured artists to be eating you up on your own song, much less album; features should add to the album, not make the album itself—especially when you’re a musician who aims to establish an individual identity and move away from the idea that you’re nothing without bts/without other people propping you up; next: jimin -> suga -> jungkook -> v ; in that order of album release is my guess)

More solo singles/EPs (the 94s; Namjoon has been hinting a lot at releasing new music, so likely an EP; I think Hoseok will also release another album before he enlists, if not an EP; I think they both have more options than other members since they’ve already officially debuted as soloists)

Subunit singles/EPs (once all of vocal line have released their solo albums, i can see BH trying to push for subunits; don’t expect full on albums with only 2 or 3 members on it, but I can definitely see a single or two or more happening; again likely with vocal line)

More OSTs (original soundtracks; again with vocal line)

More individual enlistments (they all technically have until early/mid 2024 to enlist if the tentative 2025 BTS reunion is supposed to happen, but once you taste the high life of individual freedom can you ever really go back to the mundane days of group work? Yoongi has until the end of 2023, Hoseok and Namjoon both have until the end of 2024, Jimin and Taehyung 2025, Jungkook 2027; I’m curious to see—to the absolute horror of armys—if anyone, especially maknae line, will put off their enlistment past 2024....I think Hybe was foolish to announce a “comeback” date; only doing so to calm investors and give themselves an additional 2 years to “ease their dependency on BTS” by bridging the profit gap between them and all their other groups; well if all else fails, i guess they’ll have the company stans to rely on)

or Paired enlistments (again? I really doubt a 2025 reunion will happen simply because a lot of things aren’t adding up at the moment, but if they enlist in pairs it may be a sure sign otherwise. It still makes me laugh how this time last year armys were so sure they’d be getting a bts world tour announcement only for it to be a hiatus + enlistment announcement instead. The signs of exhaustion from the members and lack of effort with the group in all aspects were way too obvious. I will never understand why fans keep deluding themselves. Seriously what group at the peak of success releases an anthology as an album? With only 3 new songs? And the purple warriors ate it right up. They could’ve at least put the demos on streaming platforms. Don’t even get me started on the 3 english songs that took over a year of “convincing” before the members agreed. Lmao my point is bts have never 100% been open about their plans, yet we all know they plan and settle things months in advance. Which means enlistment had likely already been decided on prior to the second leg of the ptd concerts. And yet, they showed no signs of it and acted like everything was swell. Even RM said the 2025 date was tentative; there’s also the Expo 2035 to consider, but after all those infrastructure problems, I’m pretty sure Busan won’t win the bid. People should accept that if the members want to keep doing their thing solo after 2025, then that’s okay. If they come back as a group, then that’s okay too. These days most of them seem happier and lighter being able to do their own thing without being tied down to the rigorous schedules that come with being “7”. So, why pressure them to do anything more as a group just to fulfill the selfish desires and needs of fans?)

Dating news ??? (this isn’t a big deal either and it’s none of our business but all it really takes is one member to open the floodgates of deranged hyperventilated tears; although it’d probably be in their best interests to continue to keep their personal lives private for that very obvious reason)

Grammys attendance (BTS has several nominations, but I doubt all 6 members will attend; j-hope’s Equal Sign was submitted for “Best Song for Social Change”; there’s been hints of a Pharrell collab involving RM; I doubt the Recording Academy will want to miss out on that BTS viewership clout so I expect at least one or two members to attend and maybe we’ll even get a performance from them)

Met Gala attendance !!!!!! (first comes FW....then comes....seriously, j-hope is just wow and this has to be said. I’ve seen the photos/videos from PFW and modeling/posing aside, not only does his entire aura change, but even his etiquette and mannerisms change depending on where he’s at and what he has on. It’s like the outfit and environment molds itself to him. It’s almost as if cameras were created for the sole purpose of capturing his presence. You know how Koreans have this thing of calling someone “Human [insert brand name here]” j-hope is like that but with every brand. As a longtime lover of fashion, it’s rare to see someone be able to digest every style so well. I can actually count on one hand the number of celebrities who are able to pull it off. He fits perfectly in everywhere he goes, and it’s no wonder why every show gave him the best seat in the house next to all their executives and other notable figures in the fashion industry. It’s amazing, not only do brands love him but so did all the photographers/journalists. He gives you something to write about just by simply existing. So it wouldn’t be a stretch to expect the star of this year’s Paris Fashion Week to finally make his Met Gala debut this May, right? Imagine j-hope attends, goes all out and does one of those behind the scenes ‘get ready with me’ videos with Vogue. Do you see the vision? He’s the only member who has a genuine passion for fashion, does his research, looks good in everything he wears, and isn’t just content with wearing whatever a stylist hands him. He’s also the only member who I’ve seen several designers go out of their way to praise. This year’s Met theme is super flexible too and I’m sure there’s lots of brands that would absolutely love to see j-hope ‘The MVP of Fashion Week’ dressed in their designs)

Hope On The Street Comeback (putting this out there just because there’s rumors that people saw him filming something dance related in Paris; what could it be? maybe for his YouTube channel? a MV? maybe LV ad campaigns or commercials of him dancing? one of the models danced at their recent show so i’m sure they’re open to incorporating more of that type of creative expression in their marketing; either way, if the rumors are true, then naturally we’ll find out soon enough because it’s j-hope)

Drama/Movie roles (lead, second lead, or guest appearances; I don’t think any of them will go this route until they’ve at least released a solo album because if they’re actually serious about their solo music careers, it’s much easier to take an established artist-turned-actor seriously, than it is to take an amateur actor-turned-artist seriously—especially in these fragile times of solo uncertainty for many)

Contract renewal announcement (their contracts expire in 2024?, but I don’t think all of them will renew with BigHit/Hybe; I doubt there’ll be any news on this until later this year at the earliest...although there may be leaks and speculation here and there; since solo activities are in full force—besides re-releasing BTS’s entire catalog as vinyls and repackaged special editions—I’m curious to know what other ways hybe plans to milk them during their hiatus in order to keep pumping that BTS money into their new groups and push a BTS successor. Gotta keep those investors happy, right? Hybe has always had a lot of internal issues with their staff and the way things are handled. Hybe has also spent the last two years promoting their plans to “reduce dependency on BTS”, and have been investing in any and every venture, to the point that their slogan “we believe in money” should be changed to “we believe in profit”. If you notice any positive deviations in the company’s usual behavior regarding how the members are being managed, then they’re likely trying to butter them up behind the scenes to get them to renew. I’m also curious about the current status of their contracts, and if any new conditions were added regarding their solo work; I feel like some may have already renewed but, again, I could be wrong; half the members have already sold a portion of their 1.2% in collective hybe shares; all it really takes is for one member to leave the company and I’m pretty sure at least half would follow suit; there’s power in solidarity)

That’s all that comes to mind for now. As for your second question (which member has been the most impressive in chapter 2) if it wasn’t already obvious, the answer is: j-hope. It’s only been 6 months, and between his solo debut, critically-acclaimed album, multiple iconic performances, being the star of Paris Fashion Week, documentary on the way. Who else is doing it like him? He’s been booked and busy since the group’s hiatus was announced, accomplishing all that in just 6 months. He set the bar high for himself and continues to raise it. 2022 was the year of HOPE and there’s no signs of him slowing down in 2023. He deserves all the recognition he’s getting because not only is he the most impressive, he’s also produced the most impressive results overall. Let’s put bias aside and face the facts because anyone who says otherwise is a l-i-a-r.

I’m sure the haters are gonna say “he only accomplished all those things because he was the first one to release his album”. Well, any of the other 6 could’ve released theirs first, yet here we are 6 months later where some of them still have nothing close to a finished album and are busy idling their time away. Any reason they give for not being in the studio working is an excuse. Not to mention j-hope was working on his solo debut and preparing solo performances while BTS was still active as a group, meanwhile others were what? Taking vacations? Partying? Playing video games? Not that there’s anything wrong with doing any of that. If you want to rest, then by all means rest, but don’t expect to be on the same level or have the same results as someone who consistently works hard like j-hope. Even with the group being inactive it was only j-hope showing up to every award show in the name of BTS (Jin enlisted, but what were the other 5 busy doing)? Failing to prepare is preparing to fail.

“Effort plays an important role in trying to stay where I am now. I will always try my best because efforts will never betray me.” — j-hope, 2018; “Efforts never betray you....All my efforts have never betrayed me....Looking back, the efforts I made didn’t betray me, in the end.” — j-hope, 2023

And “j-hope always has a plan”, so it’s only natural for him to never miss out on a golden opportunity to show the world who he is and what he’s capable of doing. It’s one thing to be talented, it’s another thing to have excellent work ethic, strong social skills, the confidence and charisma to pull off anything. Not to mention he’s always super genuine, humble and polite with everyone he meets—and we can’t forget that heart-shaped smile. These attributes go a long way and are invaluable especially when you work in industries as cutthroat as music or fashion where first impressions are always a make or break. That sort of discipline and awareness isn’t built overnight. I’ve seen some videos of j-hope’s PFW interactions (with executives, photographers, and just recently, his bodyguards) and it always makes me go: “wow I want to meet him, I want to talk to him, he seems like a really nice guy, he’s a natural model, he’s super good-looking, I can’t help but smile too”. So, imagine how all those people on the receiving end of his affections feel? Exactly. Hence why j-hope will continue to be invited into those exclusive spaces. His body language is always warm and inviting, he’s good at connecting with people from all walks of life. Even something as simple as a smile or wave is enough to make someone’s day and j-hope gets that. The more time passes, the more obvious it becomes that he’s the main reason BTS even lasted this long as a group. Other members don’t call him “갓이홉” (god j-hope) for nothing. **final side note: even the way j-hope reposted all those photos from local photographers on his IG story is so ¡wow! Lots of celebrities wouldn’t even bother. Not only is he giving them more exposure in such a competitive industry, he’s also letting them know how much he appreciates their work. And some of these photographers often run around FW for free in order to build up their portfolios. Now, you never know who could’ve watched his story, saw those photos he reposted, and offered them a job. It’s little things like that, that go a long way, because guess what? The next time he comes back to Paris the same photographers will be happy and ready to capture him on their cameras. In fact, notice how some of them posted even more photos of him after that repost? Exactly. j-hope should really teach a masterclass on networking and building connections; the first thing on the agenda? Making the best first impressions. The second thing? The subtle art of personal branding. Don’t try to give Bighit/Hybe any credit either because as we’ve seen from some lackluster solo activities and the incredibly botched debut solo album rollouts (especially j-hope’s and especially when compared to the debut of other groups under the same company), thus far, BH/H does not give enough fvcks about BTS as soloists to invest money into them individually. the same way they’re currently doing for their other groups; they might care for some members more than others so a sponsored opportunity or two may come in the realm of that possibility, but they definitely value “OT7” above all because that’s where they believe the money lies. Ultimately, how each member’s solo career will turn out relies heavily on their ambition, respective goals, personal initiative, the drive to want more and to be more in their own right. They may be at the top as a group, but as soloists they’re just getting started.

I wrote this post about a year ago, and it seems that Hoseok has finally given us an answer. He’s clearly in it for the long haul and plans to have a very long and very flourishing career in both music and fashion; chess, not checkers~

[lightwise]

Fennec in Season 3 of TBB - Where Will Her Loyalties Lie?

This may have already been obvious to everyone else, but I wanted to put it out there and see what you all think. Ming-Na Wen posted this to Twitter and it has me very intrigued as to what Fennec's role will be in season 3.

In the leaked teaser footage, the only shot of Fennec is of her aiming and shooting...something. Or someone.

When I first heard she had spilled the fact that she would be in season 3 (before we even got the season 3 confirmation in the TBB panel...love that woman) I immediately figured that she would be helping the Batch find Omega.

Then I realized, so far she has been a bounty hunter mainly for Nala Se, the Empire, and other nefarious individuals, and of course as a bounty hunter she never does anything without a price. So maybe she would be hunting down the rest of the Batch members to bring them in?

But then I thought through the fact that in season 1, her objective to capture Omega always came from Nala Se, who ultimately, just wanted to keep Omega safe from the very fate she has ended up in--being used by the Empire to be experimented on. And, I like to think that Fennec was pretty impressed by her during both of their encounters. I sensed a bit of admiration at how resourceful and determined Omega was to avoid capture and stay with her brothers. I think Fennec secretly respects that and has some care for her even if she would never admit it.

So I went back to season 1 to pull some screenshots, because I realized--there is a strong parallel here (and foreshadowing), that Omega is wanted for experimentation, and Fennec wants to help save her.

Omega is standing in front of an eerie stasis tube with a presumably dead alien inside it. As Fennec enters, she says that Omega can only rely on herself (interesting verbiage when she is without most of her brothers both here and where we will find her in season 3), and she reminds Omega that she already knows why she is valuable to the Empire...and by extension we are shown what Omega's worst fear is.

But, Fennec immediately lets her know that she is trying to help her...to save her. Foreshadowing, much?

Finally, after Omega escapes back to her brothers in this episode, Fennec answers a call from Nala Se and lets her know she got away...and also says that she is available if her services are ever needed again.

So, we have a bounty hunter who never misses, who has been tasked with saving Omega multiple times already, who had a very poignant and very specific scene with her in front of a stasis tube/potential cloning experiment, all giving a very intentional and intimate look at Omega's importance in the story. Coincidence? I doubt it.

So what do we think? I think whoever she ends up aiming at in season 3 can't be one of the Batch members. I wonder if maybe Nala Se finds a way to contact her again. Or maybe she is forced to, and maybe Fennec is tasked with finding the Batch again but when she finds out where Omega is, she is willing to help them instead. Maybe Rex somehow has enough credits to hire her to help them figure out where Mt. Tantiss is. Or, really wild thought, maybe Cid has a change of heart and fronts the credits to hire her as penance for what she's done.

Regardless, I sincerely hope that shot is aimed at Hemlock (not one of our boys)...and I hope she doesn't miss.

Send me your wild theories about this!

[twopoppies]

Kanye West is crazy and I usually don't pay no mind to his blabbering but what he said recently about every famous person having a zionist in their contract I believe 100 percent. I'm kinda mad at Harry for not speaking up on this. I know he rarelly does talk about any social issues and I never minded that and would defend him in front of holier-than-thou stan twitter that wants to cancel him for breathing every 5 days but this is like, the only situation where the only thing you can do is post and the palestinians are actively asking you to do it because they can't. He said once in an interview that he's waiting to find one thing that's gonna be his thing to be passionate about. Idk isn't an ongoing genocide a good reason to start... And I'm saying I'm really not looking at Harry Styles for moral guidance or expecting him to be super informed or an activist. But decades from now we're gonna look at this the way we look at the holocaust and wonder how did this happen. Does he really want to stay neutral on this... And he has a lot of friends who are zionists (Winston) or that signed that stupid petition in defense of Israel (Corden, Irving, Olivia)... History won't treat him well if he stays silent as one of the most influental people in the world right now. And the thing is I love him to death and I know he doesn't have a single evil bone in his body. But he is extremely privileged, uninformed, surounded by zionist friends, with whom he is, from what I've observed, very naive. But he won't be given much grace for his silence. At the end of the day it's everyone's own responsibility to educate themselves. He's a 30 year old man with internet access. Because I think what Kanye said is true I'm kinda giving him the benefit of the doubt. But I'm not sure that history will. Or that he deserves it.

Kanye isn’t only crazy, he’s insanely anti-Semitic. Basically he’s blathering on about the old nonsense about “the evil Jews” controlling Hollywood. So he can just fuck off.

I agree with you that Harry is privileged and likely very uninformed on political issues like this one and yes, he’s in a rather complicated spot because he’s very closely affiliated with Irving Azoff who is clearly supporting Israel. I don’t know if Irving/Ben/James are the only ones he’s getting information from, though. I hope not.

I know his fans want him to speak out, and I know that to us it seems like a no-brainer. But, I don’t know if he will make any clear kind of pro-Palestinian statement. I don’t think that means that he supports Israel, but what it ultimately does is make him look like he does and makes it look as though his business relationships are his priority.

At the same time, I really do understand that he may be feeling caught between a rock and a hard place and that keeping out of it is the best option (as most celebrities do in terms of politics). And I understand how complicated it can be as a “brand” to take a stance when your business partners are on the other side of an issue. He’s far from the only celebrity who hasn’t said anything. And I understand that not everyone thinks public displays of activism are as valid as boots on the grounds/money where you mouth is activism. But I can see what a difference people speaking up has made in helping the general public see how awful things are (which, hopefully means there will be political pressure to help the people of Palestine).

Personally, I don’t think history is going to focus on what Harry Styles did or didn’t say, and I don’t like the idea of leveraging threats to one’s legacy. But I do understand what you’re saying and that you’d like to know he’s done something positive in this situation. I truly don’t have an answer for you. I feel very overwhelmed by the whole thing.

More here

[mikeellee]

Thinking about the whole Izu vs Shig and how Izu will save him, now...I admit how this in paper sound lovely idea, sadly, the execution left much to be desired.

Many people, including the villains stans, are counting on Izu saving Shig aka "let him live" but here the problem...

Shig, dispite all...still wants destruction. Still havent change at all.

"Ah but he will use the talk no jutso"

First, its once again the narrative and fandom wants Izu to be the "pixie bunny" here. Why Izu needs to make peace with people who want to hurt him? Why he has to serve as therapist but at the same time...his pain is a joke for the fandom? Guys...Izu still thinks he is worthless....where is the fun in that.

Second, Izu knows shit about Shig. Literally nothing. Put in perspective here: Shig knows (and is ok with) Izu is quirkless and never even make a crude remark to Izu or anyone about it. Izu? He never even thought about Shig...Hori single him out to such degree many crucial infos are unknow by the mc.

"Ah but he could have know off screen"

That is not a good look for the story...this is important and we should see how Izu would react to knowing the story of Shig....which btw...WE READERS, THE CHARACTERS CANT KNOW. (No investigation on the Shimuras. No Words. Like even if "everyone hates Kotaro" sure people would say smth)

Third, Izu has no emotional conection to care for Shig...look, I ship them. I do. And I can imagine some people are giving me the stinky eyes or as some haters in the twitter...will try to say smth silly like "go read the manga" as if this is THE COMEBACK.

Show me a scene in the damn manga where Izu thought about Shig (before war arc) or wonder about him?

Show me a scene where Izu learn anything about Shig?

Shig has Izu in his mind(sorry IzuOchas but he has more chances than Ochako...ship and let ship but you guys have to admit Hori fumble and drop this ship without a second thought) but at the same time...does nothing. He never changes...but Hori masks that with "cool scene bruh"

Shig has cool scenes...the one where he waked up from the tube is epic. I admit that. Hell I love MVA(still baffled Izu doesnt even hear about Daika. A crater is made...no reaction from everyone) but ...those scenes add nothing.

Also...When Izu ever had a cool scene like that?

Oh yeah never.

"So you think Shig has no salvation?"

At this point, Izu and Shig should team up and end afo and rule Japan but this wont ever happen. How Izu will save Shig? Look I'm betting more on the power of love.

Srsly. Think about it. His family tried to stop him to take afo. They failed. His family failed on this regards.

Izu doesnt know shig enough to use the power of friendship....but the power of love ....is not out of possibility. "You have to live. How are we gone take our date?"

If MHA was better written, this could be ignored as just a delulu rant but...mha is written by Hori is not well written...so this makes sense.

That being said...also doubt it will happen.

Izu and Shig will be shit on until the end.

[f0point5]

Hello from my vaycay (still ongoing)... I just needed to put in some rambling into your ask box again. 😄

I've read all the last parts and I've read so many asks and your answers to them and how the prevailing idea seems to be that it's y/n who needs a wake up call...

First off, I loved the birthday weekend content and all things entailed. And this whole weekend seemed to open different cans of worms.

I said after the first texts Elliot sent y/n on her "behavior" around Max that I didn't like her reaction. I also said I'd wait for the Monday part to see what she'll do with it after she's done celebrating Max. And it didn't change anything for me.

I get it that Elliot isn't necessarily the one making his friends do the stalking and watching and talking. I get it that he isn't the one initiating this or wanting it or whatever. I get that's it's hard to deal with her being "famous" or trending on Twitter with the things she does and says, that it makes him look bad in front of his friends and that it damages his reputation if you will. I understand that it's a bad look and that it's rough on him to have people message him about those things. BUT HONESTLY... he had it coming! If he hadn't talked as big as he did to everyone and their friends like she's his girlfriend already, he might have had an easier time. And telling her she should change her behavior? Who does he think he is? I don't like the guy. And I don't see what she likes about him either. Besides the fact that he doesn't watch F1 and that he isn't "famous" and isn't part of her world... what is there about him to make her like spending time with him? She doesn't have too much to tell about their dates, she always sounds so bored... I don't get it. 🤣 I'll celebrate the day when he's finally gone.

Now back to Max and y/n and the ideas on who needs the wake up call... for a really long time I was absolutely sure about the fact that it's indeed her. And I never once got the idea that it's him. I didn't change my mind in the way that I now think it's him.

No, I now got the notion that they're kinda in the same boat. I feel like both of them believe the other doesn't feel like more. And they both seem to have their way of dealing with that.

In one ask there was a theory that y/n had a thing for Max years back and that he put racing first. And I honestly doubt that would fit the narrative. I don't think Jos would support the connection between them as much as he does if it were true. And I don't think Max would be so sure about her feelings if he knew she once had a thing for him. I'd understand her feelings if it were true, but it wouldn't explain Max's.

Somehow I feel like there's something in their way that happened in the past. I don't know how to explain it or how far back we need to dig but it seems like something happened between them that made both of them believe the other's never gonna look at them any other way than as a best friend. To make it sound even crazier it feels like whatever happened might be something that made Max feel like she'd never be interested in that way and him reacting to that made her feel like he'd never be interested in that way. Like that something happening wasn't something that was talked about but something that just was. 😅 I'm not making any sense here. 🤣

Anyways, I'm looking forward to the next parts... I'm really curious who that Clara girl is and what kinda favor Max needs from her and why y/n doesn't seem too happy about her being there for the next race.

Max's reaction to her tweets came out kinda strong and her deleting them seemed equally as strong of a reaction. I wonder what you're cooking there... 😅

I get your reaction Y/N’s butbutbut I feel it’s in line with the reaction of someone who is only marginally concerned either way. She said it since Day 1 if he doesn’t get in like there’s another 4 billion men out there. She enjoys his company enough and she believes his drama will settle down enough to not be a problem. If it were me, man would be blocked, but I get her I won’t lie.

Max having no time for anything but racing as a teen has always been a canon event. I think there’s some unresolved feelings from the early teen years lol but weren’t we all young and dumb once. They are no the primary thing affecting Max and Y/N’s mindset now, I will say that much.

You’re making sense! We will dig more into how the friendship settled into what it is. We started to touch on it in the flashback part, how they slowly started to build something really strong. I plan to jump back before that and after to see how and why they became how they are. Max and Y/N both have reasons they think they aren’t together, they think they’re doing the right thing and maybe they are….

I am beginning to hint at some of Max’s reasoning very gently, I’m curious if anyones picked up on it. I’m trying to do justice to how little I think Max would reveal about all this to people, especially over text.

But yeah he was not amused by her Twitter exchanges. For a pretty sound and specific reason which I fully get but I think he was feeling particularly touchy after the whole birthday weekend. She deleted them because she felt bad she’d made him uncomfortable, and she knows him better than anyone. She picked up on a least a bit of what he meant.

I’m planning a very jam packed race weekend of revelations so… ;)

[mauhandraws]

cons, merch restocks, + some end of the year thoughts

hi guys! i feel like i'm saying this a lot recently but sorry for the lack of art posts... i have been busy with merch prepping for anime los angeles at the start of january plus another project i've been working on!

i have a good handful of new merch that will be debuting at ALA, including TWST, kuroshitsuji, and a little bit of P4 and DDR related stuff, so if you're not attending ALA i will be updating my shop with everything new probably by mid-january!

i also will be restocking the general lilia standees earlier than i expected! i thought i wouldn't be able to restock him for a while due to some manufacturing logistics but that's not the case anymore ^^ i had some people ask me about him because he sold out quicker than i anticipated so hopefully this is good news for someone!

i'm also looking toward the new year and trying to plan out conventions and events i'd like to vend at. i primarily do cons based in socal, but i would love to do more out of state cons in 2024 - if there are any cons that any of you would like to see me at, feel free to let me know by replying to this or sending me an ask and i'll look into it! i already have a few that i am planning on applying to so we'll see what happens.

finally, i wanted to thank everyone for all the support you've shown me this year. i know it's not quite over yet but we're winding down into the last weeks so i wanted to take this chance to express my gratitude. 2023 was the first year that i tried to do art full-time, and i have had a wonderful first year trying this out thanks to the kindness and support that so many people have shown me on here, instagram, twitter, and at conventions and events. i don't necessarily consider myself to be a "big" artist and there are times that i struggle with self-doubt, but when i receive the sort of nice comments, messages, tags etc that you guys have sent my way i feel like i can keep going. i know it might sound cheesy but it's the truth!! i'm always saying that i probably sound like a broken record when i'm expressing my thanks but i truly get overwhelmed with gratitude especially after i do conventions and whatnot and i can't just Not say anything about it. when i say that every kind message/comment/etc means the world to me i sincerely do mean it, and i hope that comes across.

thank you for such a wonderful year! here's to more art and experiences in 2024!

[alarrytale]

Engagement is down//

His last post anywhere got 2.3m likes which was more than most of his LOT posts from 2023. I don't know how else to measure engagement as he isn't on twitter or tiktok.

Some asks about Harry, engagement and fandom's reaction to his silence on genocide under the cut.

Hi, anons!

Engagement can be measured in many ways. Likes on posts is one thing. Likes are usually up when he hasn't posted for a while. When he does it consistently and often it's down to a medium level. I usually think of several different ways to measure engagement. Clicks on tabloid articles about him (how interested and invested are people in him?), google search results (how many are googling him), name drop results (how many are talking about harry styles across all media platforms), how many streams are his albums getting (is it up or down?), how much merch does he sell, when he does something is he trending on social media? etc.

I don't have the numbers for all this, but i feel like people are pretty apathetic about his current stunt, people aren’t reblogging or retweeting pictures of them or even hating on them (that would still be engagement). He's been off for a while so that might explain things, but i thought his football match appearance didn’t engage people like i would expect it to. Maybe i'm wrong.

Hi Marte. Considering online outrage doesn't necessarily transfer to the real world. Like there is endless online discourse about JKR but the HP game was one of the best selling games of 2023 despite petitions to cancel it and negative review brigading. It made over a billion on PC alone. A book she released some time ago went straight to number 1 best sellers list. The majority of people are still buying her products. They're making a HP tv series and she's part of it and I wouldn't be surprised if it does well. There is a lot of excitement about it. I guess you could say the same with TSwift. There is nothing but hate for her online and she's still the best selling artist worldwide. So I'm just wondering. Do you think this will be a similar situation with Harry where if he is cancelled online it won't make a difference to his career or do you think he won't hold up as well as the others? I guess it depends on how good his next album is. If his album is really good then people will buy it. I can see him getting a lot of online backlash if he goes back to queer coding when he releases his music.

Yeah, and that's why i wrote that we'll have to see how this impacts him. I don't think a major celebrity will be cancelled in a flash, and they'll go from everything to nothing. It all depends on what the "crime" is too. The HP game did well, but did it do as well as it could have done if JKR wasn't cancelled? Also she's a te*f, i don't think many people in the gp even know what that is. Many also unfortunatly agree with her. So the "crime" isn't percieved to be that severe in the gp's eyes. I think Lizzo is a better example. She's internet cancelled before she's even convicted of anything. She might bounce back (doubt it), but i don't think she'll do as well as previously. Harry is accused of being a zion*st and supporting genocide. I think that's a worse "crime" among the gp and his target audience than the crimes of jkr and lizzo.

I think it all depends on a lot of things. How the situation in Gaza develops, how many other fuck ups H does, how much he stunts, how much he "queerbaits", how good his album is and how he choose to promote it. Despite people not being happy with him for different reasons right now, i don't think it will impact him much. We'll have to see. I'm pretty sure that no matter how he does, he could have done even better if he fixed his zionis* reputation and the queerbaiter reputation.

He'd probably lose all his wealthy American fans if he spoke out against Israel so he's not doing to do it. Not everyone supports Palestine. Tumblr gives a false impression because 70% of users are under 21 (according to tumblr polls).

I'm not saying he needs to speak out against Isr*el. Or support Palestine. I'm saying he should demand a ceasefire and state he doesn’t support genocide. That's saying murder is bad, and that both parties needs to lay down their weapons. It's a pretty neutral and basic statement.

Not everyone supports Palestine, that's true, but most people are against genocide and want a ceasefire. Regardless of that, H's target audience are millenials and gen z, where most people want a ceasefire and to stop genocide from happening. If he loses some zio*ist fans then so be it, he's already lost a million for not speaking up. I can't imagine there being that many zion*sts among his millenial and gen z fans. It's not the fans that's the reason he's not speaking up, it's his label, management and friends and the brand deals he has.

If engagement is down its because his own fans are constantly hating on him and trying to cancel him. So where are fans who don't see things in black and white and are ready to write him off supposed to engage in harry fandom content?

Jeez, anon. Idk, i think a genocide is pretty black and white, it's murder. Either you are for or against. Most people think murder is bad in all circumstances. I think stopping genocide is a bit more important than you getting your harry content...

[daegudrama]

Title: Together Tomorrow As Well

Pairing: Yeonbin

Summary: In which Soobin never debuted due family tragedy and is trying to regain the friendship he once had with the other members.

Word Count: 3,045 Words

Soobin 

The pictures of Tomorrow by Together on my twitter are tormenting me right now. I miss them so much, but even if I tried to reach out I doubt they'd want to talk to me after what I did. 

I'm not sure what I thought I was doing when I made a fan account for the band I was supposed to be a part of. Add onto the fact that my username is @yeonjunsexbf and that proves I'm fucking insane. Not even Kai knows I have this account and for some reason I've gained a huge following. Of course, I haven't revealed my face and don't ever plan too. 

Way too many moa know my account but no one has figured out I'm the mysterious fifth member that has been blocked out of all predebut content. No one will recognize me because they re-recorded and reshot everything for debut when I left. They had to push back months and I feel horrible everytime I think about it. It was out of my hands I had to leave and that meant cutting off my closet friends.

Today I want to repair the damage I've caused over the last year and a half. It's a fool's dream to hope they will forgive me. When I had to leave I was in a bad place and at the time I felt like it was best to cut off contact with everyone. I settled my contract, paying an ungodly amount of money, so I could be with my family. 

Yeonjun's serious face appears as I scroll down my timeline. I remember him smiling a lot more when I was there. Kai tells me he isn't the same, but he's okay now. He doesn't talk about me constantly or try to find ways to contact me anymore. The boys have encouraged him to date but it's futile. They are so busy it wouldn't work. We worked because we were together all the time and understood what the other was going through. 

Regret lives in my body every day for breaking up with him like I did. My pride gets in the way of trying to fix it and at this point I'm not sure he'd even speak to me at all. I've asked Kai about it but Yeonjun won't say anything about me. They try not to say my name. Kai makes it seem like the boys try to pretend that I don't exist. I suppose that's what I deserve because I did the same thing to them. 

I click the tweet of Yeonjun to see the replies. One from someone with a Kai layout says, 'is it just me or did juni look happier and smile more predebut?' There is a lot of replies like and a few defending Yeonjun. I'm very careful about what I tweet. The less personal information about me or the boys I say the better. I've jumped in on theories occasionally even made a joke AU once but I try to not give too many opinions. My heart hearts thinking I might be the reason he has less smiles now.

An alarm rings on my phone reminding me I need to leave soon if I want to get the venue on time. Buying tickets to their one year anniversary show was much more stressful than I thought it would be. That makes me proud. They have had so much success that I wonder if it would be the same with me. Maybe it's best I had to leave. 

My twitter followers know I'm going to the show but none of them know what I look like and I'm wearing a mask and cap just in case. I thought about texting my old manger but I'm not sure that's the best idea. I want to have the option to chicken out and if I contact him I won't be able to. 

Yeonjunsexbf: Might do something stupid today pray for me 🤪

I tweet as I walk towards the cab I've called. I'm instantly flooded with replies asking if I'm already at the venue and what I'm going to do. I decide not to answer until one of my closer mutuals says,

CrownTaehoney: This better be about your ex S,,,

I've talked about Yeonjun and the boys, without naming them. Mostly I talk about how much I miss them and wish things could be like they used too. This mutual has reached out and we've spoke about it in more depth. They want me to have closure or to rekindle the friendships. I'm the one that treated them badly because my world was turned upside down.

Yeonjunsexbf: coincidentally it might be. No further questions pls 

In the car Kai texts me asking why I'm in the same city as them. I posted a view from my window with a location tag on it last night wondering if he'd reach out. Kai has been my best friend practically since the moment I met him. When I tried to cut him off he refused and was more persistent than the rest. I let him in because I needed someone, but I wasn't ready to have everyone. He's the only member I've kept contact with. 

Soobin: I'm visiting a friend

Kai: I'm not stupid. Are you coming to the show?

In true post leaving bighit fashion I ignore his texts and go back to twitter. People are already inside and frantically tweeting about the stage setup. Accounts I follow are meeting each other and I wish that was possible for me. 

The staff outside doesn't recognize me and I get into the venue without a hitch. I take my front row seat and hunch over my phone. I don't talk to the people around me while I wait for the show to start. 

Yeonjun is the first to enter the stage and my heart races as my ears are filled with screams. He's just as pretty as the last time I saw him in person. Maybe even more so now. He looks happy and healthy something most pictures of him don't show these days. His hair is still a light blue color and they are wearing matching outfits. 

The other boys look over the moon to be preforming for their moas. I'm so happy to see the people I once called my best friends doing what they love. Each of these boys are so talented and deserve so much. I had to leave and of course I wish what caused me to go away never happened.

I keep my mask on for nearly half the show before lowering it only when I get too hot from jumping around. It's interesting hearing songs I once sang being done without me. It gives Kai more room to shine and my become misty when he sings Our Summer. They move on to another dance and that's when I'm spotted.

One moment they are in synch dancing flawlessly then the last person I would expect stops. Yeonjun freezes staring me dead in the face and I hear my name echo through the venue. In the next second Taehyun has pulled his shoulder and he's back dancing flawlessly with a confused look on his face. 

The fans around me are muttering wondering what the hell just happened. Yeonjun is the last person anyone expects to stop dead in the middle of a performance. He hasn't seen me since I got the news from my mother. I packed up and left the dorm before they could get home from rehearsal. 

Before the song is over a staff member comes to my seat. I recognize him, he often worked security for the building when I was a trainee. His eyes sweep over my face and body confirming that I am in fact Choi Soobin. 

"Would you please come with me?" The staff member asks and I look beside me to see three girls freaking out. They must think I'm lucky but they don't know what I'm about to go through. I'm sure they think I'm about to live a Y/N fantasy but that's probably the furthest thing from the truth.

"Of course. Lead the way." I stand following the staff member through the aisle and back around to get backstage. 

It's darker back here and smells vaguely wet. The walls are concrete and I feel a sort of excitement finally being backstage. I never preformed a real show with them because I left just before our debut.

I wonder where is taking me when we arrive at the green room. He leaves me beside hair and makeup artists. They don't speak to me but I can see surprise on their face. The stylists know me; they dressed me for months.

I open twitter to see my timeline tweeting about Yeonjun stopping and saying my name. People are mentioning me asking if I have a better angle of the video because they know I was in front. Some are accusing me of being the person who made Yeonjun freeze. I think about privating my account but that would look too suspicious. Moa are worried that Yeonjun has taken a secret lover.

After a few minutes of awkward silence Taehyun bursts into the room looking ready to lunge at me. Kai holds him back while I hear Beomgyu yelling in the hallway. 

"Yeonjun no! Come here!"

Taehyun starts shouting at me just like I deserve, but that doesn't make it hurt less. His face is red already covered in sweat from dancing. Taehyun struggles against Kai's grip but he won't let go.

"Why did you do this to him?! To me, to Beomgyu?You could have reached out to us! You have no idea what we've gone through trying to help him get over you. If you're just going to leave again then don't even try talking to us." Taehyun relaxes from his tense stance falling to the floor. He looks up at me with sad eyes. "He's like a shell of a person without you. We all understand you needed to leave but you didn't have to cut us off like we didn't mean anything to you."

"I'm so sorry. Please understand-"

"Taehyun, Kai you have to change." One of the stylists says pulling them away to another room.

I'm sat there waiting for them to come back, watching them from the screen in the room. Yeonjun is putting on his best happy face and if I didn't know any better I'd think it was real. 

"He only looks like that on stage. Moa make him really happy otherwise he's been very moody." The make up artist to my left says like I need more of a guilt trip.

This isn't what I imagined my life would be. I should be on the stage next to my best friends answering questions from Moa. I trained so hard only to have something earth shattering happen so close to debut. I had to go home and help my family, staying here would've been the most selfish thing I could do. 

When my sister died I wasn't thinking straight. I couldn't breathe or form a coherent thought. No one's words could help me or make me feel better. It's been a year and a half and I'm still distraught but my emotions are more stable. I've realized how many people I hurt.

I packed all my things and left without a word to my members. They knew what happened because I was told at dance practice. I didn't have the mental capability to keep my relationships with them alive at the time and I regret that every day. My mother said I should stay but I knew that wasn't what she really wanted. 

We paid off my contract so I could go home and rebuild my family. Yeonjun tried to text me and call me but I couldn't handle picking up the phone. My every thought was filled with my poor sister. I wish I could give her one last hug and tell her how much she inspired me. 

We broke up over text because I refused to answer the phone. I know how horrible that is and I feel like a jerk every time I think about it. They gave me space for awhile before trying to contact me. I changed my number so they'd stop calling. The last thing I wanted was to feel more sadness. 

"Yeonjun is waiting for you in the hall." Kai says sometime later. "Please be careful."

I nod my head hoping I won't hurt anyone more than I already have. Yeonjun is waiting just outside the door. He must have started crying the money he left the stage because his face is covered in tear tracks. 

The first thing he does is unexpected. He pulls me into a hug and cries onto my shoulder. I rub his back trying to pull away to a more private area.

"I'm so sorry for what I did. You didn't deserve any of that. What I was going through is no excuse for how I treated you."

We walk into a small room that has clothes in it and I shut the door behind us. I wipe the tears from his eyes and my heart is threatening to beat out of my chest. 

"I've spent every day since you left hoping that things could go back to normal. All I wanted for so long was our relationship to be the same, but after awhile I want you in our group more. Being a leader is hard and it's not the same without you." Yeonjun slides his back against the wall lowering himself to the floor. "I miss you and it's annoying. I can't get over a guy I dated for less than a year. You broke my heart into a million pieces but I know if I could find all the pieces and put it back together I'd let you do it all over again."

"I'm so sorry I hurt you." I say squatting in front of him. I sweep a piece of hair out of his eyes and realize my hand is shaking. "I miss you too and I know I don't deserve a second chance but all I want is to make amends with you and the other members."

His eyes shine with hope but the remaining tears remind me of the pain I've caused him. I must be careful because I only have one shot to make it right. The last thing I want is to cause anyone more pain. I want my boyfriend back and my best friends. 

"You left us hanging like we meant nothing to you. You changed your phone number and blocked us out. We wanted to be there for you because we thought we were your best friends." He sighs sitting up straighter as he continues, "Then you started talking to Kai and not the rest of us. That hurt so much. How did you tell me you love me when you couldn't even pick up the phone to properly breakup with me." 

"I was in a very bad place mentally but that doesn't excuse how I treated you and I'm sorry. You deserve serenades and thousands of roses spelling out your name not being broken up with through text." I look into his eyes taking a deep breath. "I've thought about every day since I left and lord knows I tried to stop but I can't. You mean too much to me and I know I'll have to earn your trust back, but that's all I want. Just a chance."

We talk for a few more minutes before Beomgyu finds us. Beomgyu doesn’t look as mad as Taehyun did but there is definitely resentment in his eyes. All I want is to fix this.

“Come back to our hotel with us.” Taehyun says moments later when the rest of the members have joined us. “We need to talk.”

And that’s what we do for the rest of the night. I order food for everyone and we have deep discussions about what happened over the last year. Of course, I know what’s happened with them Kai keeps me updated. They don’t know that I’ve been working at a bakery and still writing music. 

We talk about the possibility of me rejoining the group but I don’t think it’d be fair for me to do that. The four of them have worked so hard re-recording and making it through their rookie year, it’d be wrong for me to jump on the success they’ve made. 

“I’ll be real it doesn’t feel complete without you.” Taehyun says quietly looking out the dark window behind me. 

“It’d be hard since I already dropped my contract. I’ll see what I can do, but it feels wrong jumping in on your success.” I rub my hands together nervously.

“We wouldn’t be here without you.” Beomgyu says leaning against the headboard. “You were our glue predebut and after the pain you cause was our main source of motivation.”

I motivated them by leaving? Sadistic. Did they want me to realize how good they could be without me? That would make sense but now they want me back. I doubt I’ll be let back into the company but at least I have my boys.

“Can you guys go in the other room?” Yeonjun asks when it’s nearly 12 a.m.

Kai raises his eyebrow at me but without a word they file out of the room. I’m left alone with my ex boyfriend who I still love dearly.

“I know I’m probably getting annoying at this point but I’m so sorry.” I say standing as I start pacing the room confining my babbling. 

I’m cut short when Yeonjun catches my shoulder turning me around so he can kiss me. Fireworks erupt in my chest and my head feels fuzzy. It’s been so long since I kissed someone I had forgotten how amazing it feels. It’s soft and short when he pulls back he looks surprised like he’s shocked he did that. 

“It’s going to take awhile but I want it all. I miss you so much and I don’t want to spend another day without you.”