#but i get it tbh i feel the same way seeing others post about soul eater not!

[baltharino]

I'm so happy to see gifs for Kannazuki no Miko, it was my first yuri anime so it's very precious to me. Thank you for making such beautiful gifs! I can't wait to see more KNM edits from you 🫶

Tysm that is so sweet! 💖💖💖

[chiocchi]

If you don't mind answering, why do you ship Tom Riddle and Harry Potter? Besides the whole issue that they are enemies, and the age difference, both characters are heterosexual. It's canonical fact. If it's the dynamic you like... Have you thought about Tomione's ship? They have a lot of potential together. And in the right direction, they would be a couple that could make it in the books.

JDKLJKLFJSDLKFJA This kinda feels like people knocking on your door and trying to get you to believe in their religion. It's pretty funny.

I don't know why are you calling issues to a part of the pairing's appeal lkajdsjfs (And Hermione is Harry's age and they are on the same side too?). And not sure about that canonical fact. Harry can be read as bisexual quite easily and Voldemort|Tom... idk he seems more obsessed with power, immortality, and Harry. But even if that's the case, I don't see why it should matter. We're in fandom after all.

I don't know if I'll be able to convey why I like this ship so much. For starters, I'm really into the unique connection they share. There was a piece of Voldemort's soul inside Harry's; they had a mental link; a whole language they're the only ones to speak (for the most part); Voldemort chose him and marked him; and there's even a prophecy that linked them together. There aren't two people more connected than them. They're soulmates, and the fact that Voldemort didn't intend it and Harry hates it adds another layer of complexity.

But not only that, they're like a broken reflection of each other, which I find fascinating. In his second year, Harry was worried about the similarities between them. Both half-bloods, orphans, raised by Muggles, they both considered Hogwarts their first real home. I feel like they would have really understood each other in other circumstances. They would have been friends. Because one of their key differences is that Harry found friends and adults that loved him while Tom was probably bullied and, y'know, the whole Dumbledore thing.

Not to mention that Harry would die for everyone whereas Tom would kill everyone. They're insane in their own way. I love their similarities and differences, but more than anything else, I love when they're together. The fanfics and fanarts are awesome.

And the whole thing of being enemies feels quite gay sometimes klafjdlskfja. Harry can't help but think Tom is handsome and, despite everything Voldemort did, Harry wanted to give him one last chance to show remorse. I have no doubt Harry is crazy enough to actually forgive him.

I've thought about Tomione and I've come to the conclusion that I don't like it. pinktom has a really good post about it and I agree with it. Besides, Hermione liked Ron and had something with Krum, and they're nothing like Tom. Just because she's heterosexual doesn't mean she's attracted to any man, y'know? klajdlfkdjs I don't think they would have been a couple in the books, no matter the direction. If it's the dynamic you like, have you thought about Tomarry? More believable, more intense, and a wider range of wholesomeness to fucked up in the fics. It's really interesting. Unless you don't like men being together? Hmm? Suspicious (just kidding. To each their own. So no need to go to other people's asks to try to change their minds :kek:).

Also Harry is my favorite character and he's not replaceable. I kinda don't care about any other character tbh. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

[astroamorsworld]

Astrology Observations #26

If you guys would like to show your support, you can buy me a coffee here :)

I’m starting to compile a list of reviews for readings on my masterlist so check it out if you’d like😊

If you guys would like a reading, feel free to DM me or fill out my Google form here

Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t. Enjoy!

Please do not copy my work.

🍿Someone I know has a Scorpio ruled 7th house and through their past relationships have been victims of witchcraft because of it. Whether it was their partners paying people to do spells on them or someone their partners were previously involved with or someone their partners were close with, its been a somewhat common occurrence for this person unfortunately☹️

(And i don’t think having a neptune there helped either…😕)

🍿Those of you who have your Moon in the 8th house, do you like horror films? Like it’s something i’ve noticed with a few people i know and i personally dislike a lot of them👎

🍿As a girl with a Gemini Juno, funny guys are my absolute weakness😩😩 Gemini Sun men also. In fact just all men with Gemini placements. Does this apply to you guys with your Juno placement?

🍿Aquarius risings are so cool, love them😚

🍿Since the 12th house rules bed pleasures, how many of your 12th housers like really and i mean REALLY like your bed. Like in fact do you guys ever like leaving your house?

🍿If you have Uranus in the 4th house, if you’d like to, tell me what your family does that you think no other family does🤔

🍿Everytime I have my Moon in the 8th house in my lunar return chart, something always comes to an end. Do you guys notice the same thing with your lunar return charts or nah

🍿Not an observation but I have Pluto in the 8th house at 29 degrees for my solar return chart this year and I am a little frightened icl… have any of you guys had this placement in your sr charts? If so, what happened that year?

🍿Living on your Saturn MC line is soooo tough😩feeling like life is harder for you than most ppl is NOT it😭😭

🍿Leo Risings, do your relationships ever stem from a friends to lovers type situation or nah?

🍿Now i know i’ve mentioned this before in a previous post but I just wanna say again that having a Moon-Chiron conjunction in your sr chart absolutely sucks. A year where you can really be going through it😖😖😖

🍿I currently have Neptune in the 1st opposite mars AND mercury in the 7th house in my sr chart and i can tell you that the daydreaming about being in a relationship has gone into overdrive…😔

🍿I also have my 5th house ruler conjunct chiron in my sr chart and heartbreak has occurred… so if you have it in your sr chart you may wanna brace yourself😫

(I thought my sr chart was gonna be really good but I was unfortunately blind to every other placement in my chart but my major 7th house stellium… REMEMBER GUYS A 7TH HOUSE STELLIUM CAN INDICATE GAINING BEST FRIENDS AND DOES NOT GUARANTEE YOU A RELATIONSHIP😭😭

🍿A more straightforward observation but having Chiron in the 11th house of a SR chart can indicate losing some friends… like not necessarily in the typical way where you guys fall out, but it could be a scenario where they move away, or you guys can’t see each other as often for whatever reason.

🍿I feel like living on your Saturn MC line can also indicate getting into more problems with authority figures and more so them starting problems with you… they can turn into absolute f***ing b****rds out of nowhere… sorry i just have some trauma with members of authority😭😭

🍿I have my sun at 10 degrees and a 10th house stellium… I wonder if thats why i’ve always felt like i had an old soul… this is probably why my family always says to me that i’m a grandma😭😭

🍿7th house ruler in the 10th house of a sr chart can indicate meeting someone at work

🍿In a few months Jupiter will conjunct my natal Juno… I wonder what’ll happen then?🤔

🍿I feel like Gemini Mercury’s multitask a lot. Like A LOT. It’s almost tiring to watch them do it tbh😭

🍿I feel like having a Leo ruled 5th house can indicate attracting partners who worship you.

This was different from my other observations but I hope you guys still enjoyed it😭

Check my pinned for more💖

next post

[brain-rot-central]

In Sonnet AA is just a more powerful Astarion or the ascension changed him drastically in some way?What do you make of Mephistophele's deal (or any deal with a devil in general)?

So... My interpretation of Astarion is that UA and AA both exist within him from the start.

Throughout the game we see the two sides of him warring for dominance. And tbh, he's kind of an asshole from the get. Like, he isn't a nice person. He's a jerk, but he learns compassion as the game goes on because someone (Tav/Durge) finally extended a hand to him. Someone finally sees him. It's the theory of "love breeds kindness" being displayed.

The ascension route his him choosing himself despite this, strictly out of fear of another being having control over him again and it exacerbates all of his worst qualities since he's delving deeper into his paranoia. He's walling himself off, basically. Regressing, which happens a lot with abuse victims.

And as much as he tries telling himself that the ascension "killed the weaker version of himself," all it really did is shove that part of him down beneath six feet of dirt. He never made peace with it so much as he views it as an embarrassment and a source of shame. But when it comes to Tav, that part of him screams the loudest. And he hates it, because it reminds him of how weak and vulnerable he felt.

Basically reminds him that the concept of love makes him uncomfortable because to love someone is to be vulnerable. You'll do and withstand things you normally wouldn't with other people. Love is an opportunity for you to be softer and to have someone hold you. That scares the shit out of him, because he's no longer totally in control. You essentially become a willing participant for the other person, and you hope that they'll continue to extend the same courtesy to you.

I also don't agree with the notion that just because he's ascended, he now suddenly knows everything. Nothing about the ascension changes what has already happened to him, or his experiences. He may put on an air as if it has, and the whole point of it is to distract you from the realization that he still doesn't know shit about being an ascended/true vampire (his first humanoid blood was the PC and that was literally like... one/two months ago).

The man has zero idea how to turn someone and it's probably a nerve-racking experience for him, which is why he becomes so personally offended if you refuse his offer to become his consort. Because in a way, it's him being vulnerable with you. He has no idea what he's doing but he's willing to try if it means you both get to spend eternity together. He's essentially proposing to you in the only way he knows how. He also doesn't know SHIT about any of his powers/abilities yet.

He's a little fledging vampire who's been given the keys to the Lamborghini, essentially. But heaven forbid anyone else see that.

I don't think he lost his soul in the deal. I think moreso he's riding an insane high of 1) finally being free of Cazador's influence and 2) no longer having the insatiable hunger that plagued him for 200 years. For the first time in two centuries his mind is completely clear and his own again.

But I do believe there are some trade-offs to the ascension. Like for instance, uncovering a werebat form if he's too emotionally charged/cannot control himself. I also hc that he eventually starts hearing the voices of those sacrificed during the ritual, especially if he delves too deeply into a dark path.

TL;DR: the UA/AA versions of Astarion exist from the beginning and I still think they exist post-ascension. Just with the ascension, he's letting the worst qualities of himself win. I don't see that as a permanent thing.

The deal with Mepho changes nothing about him on a personal level; he doesn't lose his soul in the deal but there are some consequences of the deal -- becoming grotesque and/or hearing voices of those sacrificed in the ritual. He feels good and it just reinforces the arrogant behavior he displayed early on, as it's a point of regression for his overall development.

[coldpintglass]

I was thinking about what you said in your southkane post about how they both want to be in that supportive/protecting role to the squad and how Kane maybe does it better than Southgate. It would be soooo interesting to see that tension worked out around that moment when dearly loved/life and soul/heavily Villa-coded Grealish was sent home before the euros this summer and reportedly Kane went in on the squad’s behalf to ask Southgate why.

(Sidebar: also interesting how he didn’t do the same when Madders was dropped)

I feel like - through that duty lens you wrote so well about - Southgate would be so proud of Kane for doing that, but also so maybe personally self-defensive about his choice, and of course ultimately unmoveable on it… fun tension

Thinking about Southkane were you now? 

Ah, anyway, thank you for your lovely ask Laura!!! Yeah, honestly since that article dropped (which if you haven’t read, worth it alone for how cutting it is of Gareth. Obviously he’s not the only reason this Euros wasn’t successful but he’s certainly the root. It’s quite a sobering read) and it said that Kane rushed to Gareth, I’ve been thinking about that too. Woof. 

Some thoughts on this:

A: Harry and Jack are clearly good friends from interactions IRL and on insta. Jack even having a chat on Katie’s page! Hello!?!?

B: Jack has done what Harry hasn’t yet - play and help a team win a final. And honestly that counts a lot for England.  Not to say that in the finals Harry has played in that they would’ve won otherwise without him (probably not!) but like that experince of what it takes to push when on the right foot is so invaluable.

C: Jack is sooooooo the life and soul of the team. Such a joyful spirit, like he’s a daft bugger (drink driving again what IS it with these guys) but he gets a lot right otherwise, he’s great at footie, loved by team and clearly loves the fans. You absolutely could FEEL the Jack shaped gap in the England training camp videos - it felt odd him not being there.

D. Yep, still of the opinion that Harry is better liked than Southgate because he finds it easier to support and respect the team. Thinking of the poignant interview Dele did with Gary Neville when he opened up on addiction/childhood trauma. He mentions Harry as someone who especially checked in on him and tried to help him. Just seems like someone who although may not tactically be the best leader, is absolutely good at being the glue to keep the team together and get the best out of others. 

Harry asking him about Grelish - WOOOFBARKBARKBARKGRRRR. 

What you’ve written is perfect Laura, absolutely that double edged sword of “so proud of you Harry, this is exactly the initiative to take, you’re a leader through and through” vs “what do you mean??? I dropped Grelish because it was the right choice. I plan the team around YOU.” And also this happening on the spurs training grounds is just…! 

That HAS to have been the start of the undercurrent of tension between them over the Euros. Not huge or anything but something was there - the publication of this article the day after Harry said “we didn’t know when to press” after the Denmark game? Nah, can’t be telling me that it’s somewhat linked. 

Strikes me as Southgate trying to put Harry back in his place or keep him in line. It’s gutting to think that tbh, they’ve otherwise been such a brilliant pair (both IRL and RPF) but no denying there’s been cracks. Watching your son/mentee outgrow you in a way you can’t come back from, wishing desperately he could go back to being the pliant but loyal young man you loved and put at the centre of everything for so long.

Anyway, this is a long way of saying “I’m absolutely injecting this into my brain to whip it up into a fic/part of a fic”. Love you x 

[ghuleh-recs]

♡ Fandom Faves Tag ♡

Tag 1-3 (or as many as you want) of your favorite creators (writers, artists, outstanding members of the community etc) and link your favorite creation if you can.

Thank you for the tags @midnight-moth and @coffeeghoulie! I'm gonna challenge myself to not wax poetic and keep these extra short and sweet. That way it's not as intimidating for others to participate (hope that makes sense). Oh and I'm not putting a "keep reading."

Witness my faves (ง •̀_•́)ง

@midnight-moth (who started this tag game ♡) drew THE Phantom art of all time and I recently went absolutely feral for:

Buried in Treasure - Dew x Phantom - E, 3.6k

When his eyes roll forward again, he notices more than just the same riff playing over and over. He notices Phantom’s grip on his hand simultaneously go still and tight. He notices the rosy flush on his cheeks, and the tent in his pants that he tries to conceal with the hand holding the phone. It takes more than a few seconds for all of the dots to connect and when the thought is fully formed, Dew grabs the phone and launches it to the end of the bed.

@ramblingoak hey why is there an angel in the satanic band fandom? I created this whole blog so I could shout about:

The Cardinal's Bride - Cardinal Copia x F!Reader - E, 91k (wip)

A Romantic Adventure in the Old West: After being forced into a marriage with Mr. Saltarian by your father you are sent west to his estate in Nevada. Along the way you end up meeting one of the cowboys you have always fantasized about…

@conjuring-ghouls finds the perfect moments and turns them into the loveliest gifs. On top of that she is endlessly kind and supportive. Look at these!!!

@coffeeghoulie is writing the Aeon x Swiss hurt/comfort fic of y'all's dreams and I got to do my first "official" art collab for it yay!!

Eternal Heatstroke - Aeon x Swiss - M, 17k (wip)

For once in their life, Aeon feels lucky. Whoever's opened this portal, whoever's summoning ghouls Up Top, specifically wants a quintessence ghoul. They may not be the biggest or strongest quintessence ghoul, far from it, but they'll do anything this summoner wants if it means they get to live. Or: being Topside is a drastic change from the life Aeon's used to.

@writingjourney truly the kindest soul and an absurdly talented writer. I screenshot Ibi's tags on my posts all the time because they cheer me up so much 🥹🥹

Friday Nights (series) - Papas x GN!Reader - E, 40k

“But to die as lovers may - to die together, so that they may live together.” ― Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu, Carmilla Each of these stories features a vampire papa and a gender neutral reader.

@anamelessfool writes some of the best world building and characterizations that I have ever read in fanfiction AND she's a fantastic artist.

Violence & Gentleness - Primo x OC - E, 50k (wip)

You made me forget myself...I thought I was someone else, someone good... LATE OCTOBER 1979 Primo has his work cut out for him as the bodyguard of the beautiful and fearsome Mater Emerita Jocasta. As mystery after mystery unfolds, it becomes harder to remain a honest man in this den of thieves called the Ministry.

@foxybouquet makes wonderful art and her colloquial Italian posts are an incredible resource for the fandom.

@angellayercake has angel in her username for a reason tbh. I'm not exaggerating when I say that I learned important things about myself and my love language whilst reading the brilliant:

Banchetto - Terzo x F!Reader - E, 22k (wip)

Papa Emeritus III is struggling to adapt to his life after the Ghost project but perhaps some good homemade Italian food will do the trick.

(I'm cutting myself off here because I could do this all day. I will probably be making another list in the near future because I love and admire so many of you. 😅)

No pressure at all but I would really love to see this tag game keep going! If you're reading this please consider adding some of your personal favorites to the list! This fandom could use some positivity right about now ♡

[ghost-in-the-hall]

Hello! I have finally stopped crying about Friday night long enough to come tell you guys about it! Also kind of a face reveal I guess? I wasn't planning on posting pictures of myself ever on Tumblr but, um, I met some of Powerwolf, so I'm telling literally everyone who will listen about it. If you'd like to read all about the most amazing night of my life it's below the cut cause my god am I going to ramble and there's going to be a lot of pictures. Posting Update coming later now that I can finally get back to work ❤️

*cracks knuckles* now, I had to take the full day yesterday to literally sit on my floor with my friends to recount that night in as much detail as possible. Every thing I tell you has been fact checked and reviewed by 3 other people lol. I literally can't even believe the night I had, I still think I'm dreaming tbh.

So, as you may or may not know, Powerwolf is literally my favorite band ever. I missed their first US tour so I was determined to get my ass to this show and have the greatest time, also I'm not going to turn down a chance to see Falk Maria Schlegel in person, it ain't gunna happen chief. I got tickets for my friends and I, we made a whole day of it, we got our nails done and met up the morning of and had breakfast and did face masks and all got ready together, it was wonderful, I'm so glad we made the decision to do that because of my god my NERVES that morning. We ended up getting to the venue around 3, which meant we had to stand in line for 4 hours but it was definitely worth the sacrifice. We were about 10 people from the front by the time we lined up. When we got there, none other than Roel VanHelden was hanging out around their tour bus, taking pictures and just talking with a small group of people. He was so nice when we went down to meet him, my friends and I were all dressed up for the occasion and he looked at us and went "wow, you all look incredible!" I think my soul left my body. I told him he was my favorite drummer ever and I'm so excited to finally be able to see him live and he looked so genuinely flattered. I got a picture with him that's at the bottom.

A little while later I look down the sidewalk and happen to notice Charles doing the same thing. He was also super sweet and super funny. I, for some reason, was so much more nervous meeting him than I was meeting Roel so I just kind of ran up said hi took my picture said thank you and ran away, but he was very sweet when he was talking with my friends. ALSO HES SO DAMN HANDSOME WITH HIS GLASSES ON I AM SUCH A CHARLES GIRL AFTER FRIDAY NOW BUT WELL GET MORE INTO WHY LATER!!! Sorry lost my cool, picture with him is also below

We get inside, we get all the way up to the left side of the stage at the barrier, I'm directly in front of Falk and Matthew the entire concert. Unleash The Archers was incredible, I unfortunately only know their song Soulbound, but they're amazing if you're into women fronted power metal bands, I highly recommend them. The entirety of the concert itself was incredible, everyone is so talented and it was so amazing, just for the music I would go back again and again.

But, my god, do those men LOVE interacting with the crowd. I'm gunna go member by member, we made a bullet list lol. We ended up getting notices by every single member of Powerwolf multiple times, like I seriously still can't believe it, it doesn't feel real, but it happened and I have 3 other people telling me it happened so I guess I have to trust them lol.

Roel we unfortunately didn't get to see much obviously because he's at his kit, but after the show was over he came over and gave my friend a drum cover that was signed by the entire band, we have agreed that one day a month I come over we pull it out (until it gets framed), smoke a bowl, and just look at it for a little while together because that's how we're going to share joint custody of it lol. Seeing him play live was also just unreal.

Attila carries such a presence on stage it's actually fucking insane. How easily that man can command an entire room is scary. I don't know if I have the video, I might have to get it from someone else still. But there was one point we were singing along with Attila and he came over and sang directly to my friend and I and reached out for us and we both screamed. He acknowledged us a couple other times throughout the show.

We were on the opposite side of the stage from Charles but him and Matthew switch sides pretty much during every song so he was over pretty frequently. The first time he came over he immediately recognized my little group, he pointed right at me and smiled, I personally think he noticed how I loosened up a lot since almost passing out earlier lol. But he would be constantly coming over and singing along with us, there was also one point I noticed he accidentally bumped into Attila and he just looked at him and blew him a kiss and it was the funniest thing I've ever seen. CHARLES ALSO THREW ME ONE OF HIS ARM BANDS!!!! When he came over after final bows, he threw a couple pics, I missed literally all of them because I have zero depth perception and despite the fact I was wearing 5" platforms I was still stupidly short lol, he noticed proceeds to pull off one of the ones he had on, came right to the edge of the stage and tossed it to me and he got so smiley when I screamed back thank you, he has such a nice smile omfg it's not fair. But he was incredible.

We were right in front of Matthew, we definitely spent the most time with him, he was also in love with us. They played Sinners of The Seven Seas, which is a personal favorite song of mine, so I was absolutely losing my shit, screaming every word, and after they finished each song he would acknowledge the whole crowd and give thumbs up and all that, and then he looks at me, I shit you not my knees almost have out from just now direct this eye contact was the first time, he goes "wow" and gives me a thumbs up and a really impressed look, so of course I got all flustered which made him laugh. He would acknowledge me after pretty much every song, doing kind of the same thing, motioning to the whole crowd and then motioning directly to me, it became a joke, we would both laugh whenever he did it. At one point I made a heart at him and he got the brightest smile and also seemed so genuinely flattered, they all did, every one of them just seemed so touched and happy that all of us loved them so much it was super sweet. But, anyways, back to Matthew. He sang along with us a lot too and was just genuinely so fun to watch, he's such a talented guitarist, I got to see him play the most. He also threw me a guitar pick, I gave it to one of my other friends that came since she didn't catch anything.

Falk Maria Schlegel... I was so insane about this man BEFORE this concert... I am simply unwell about him now. This, to me, is by far the most unbelievable part of my night because I'm literally in love with him. He's kind of similar to Roel where it's hard to get his attention cause he's also mostly up on the back stage, so he didn't really start to come down to the stage until near the end of the show anyways. But he came down at one point and that man held eye contact with me for a good 30 seconds while Attila was making his speech, I thought my heart stopped, how are his eyes even prettier in person? He's just so fun and so cute, I love watching him interact with the crowd. He came over to my side of the stage after the first encore, Attila was giving a speech about how we're all one big heavy metal family and it was very nice. I had to go over this with my friends about 9 times, I still think they're lying to me and I hallucinated the whole thing. Falk motions to the whole crowd and says I love you, then turns looks directly at me, motions to me specifically and says I love you. I blacked out for about 30 seconds I think, my heart was restarted by the last song starting (I fucking love werewolves of Armenia) they were doing final bows and Falk came back over to my side of the stage, he looked at me so I blew him a kiss and made a heart and he went, "oh! Thank you!" Motioned to me and then held his hands over his chest and he looked so happy, they all looked so happy, I hope they come back soon I already miss them. I plan on being right back up in front next time, who knows, maybe they'll even remember me lol

We're also going to be in their city recap video, and Jen Dorn (Attila's wife) took a bunch of pictures and posted a video of us on her Instagram and we got to meet her too, she was also very sweet and very pretty!!

Okay have some pictures of the greatest night of my life, some of them aren't cropped right, that's my bad lol

I have more videos and stuff I can post if you guys would like to see them!!

[daz4i]

oh wait i did promise a full dazai and nikolai comparison post didn’t i. time to deliver. no keep reading button, we’re clogging everyone’s dashboards like men. enjoy

clowning

so. i doubt i need to elaborate much on nikolai’s clowning - it’s very plainly put in the text, he along with other characters constantly call him a clown, and he obviously takes on a clown persona.

nikolai’s method of clowning is to take it to the extreme - everything he says sounds like a joke or pure nonsense, making you doubt everything that comes out of his mouth immediately, even when he’s saying the truth.

dazai’s is only slightly more subtle. i’m basing this on no longer human, given that so much of his character is based on yozo. dazai puts on a mask of a carefree, funny, lazy guy, especially to the agency, just like yozo does

his method of clowning is to seem genuine. pepper in just enough truth to make others believe him. seem reliable enough to make others trust him. but never showing his full self, so you should doubt everything he says

ultimately, the same outcome, done with different methods

so, we all agree they both do it. now, let’s analyze why. dazai’s is more obvious imo, so let’s start with him. 

with the agency specifically, it makes sense, gotta appear nonthreatening n all, seem like a normal guy with absolutely no past in the mafia (at least at first). i’d also say it can be used to make his enemies underestimate him - no one expects the goofy silly guy to pull a knife on them, after all, and you definitely don’t expect him to be a mastermind.

on a deeper level, if we go back to the yozo train of thought, it’s also to protect himself. no one can leave you, hurt the deeper parts of your soul, attack you personally if they can’t figure out who you are. no one can get close enough to matter to you then get taken away, the way oda was.

nikolai’s reasoning is less grounded in canon or external works (that i know of), so feel free to disagree with that part (with any part of this post tbh.) but in my interpretation, he does it for multiple reasons:

same as dazai, not letting anyone close enough to get him to care. nikolai sees bonds as something chaining him down - he cares about fyodor and sees him as a friend, and that’s why he wants to kill him. if you see him, he will care about you, and he can’t have that. better to have the self inflicted cage of a mask than have the key in someone else’s hands, if you wanna be poetic about it.

chaos! a lot of what nikolai does is to subvert expectations, be illogical, to prove the existence of his free will. nothing more chaotic than a clown

to contrast dazai, rather than make his enemies underestimate him, nikolai’s intention is to make his teammates underestimate him. he’s trying to throw their suspicions off him - oh, he defied the plan fyodor set up? well, can’t blame him, he always does silly shit like that. look how crazy that guy is, obviously he can’t follow orders - so he can freely do what he wants and only have them catch up way later.

already, we see a lot of similarities, as well as opposites-within-the-same-action. let’s continue

death

tldr: both are supposedly willing to die, yet still avoid death.

dazai sure managed to survive a lot of suicide attempts, huh! weird how all of his on screen attempts - especially since oda’s death - have been using methods that are easily to survive, like drowning. that’s so strange guys i wonder why’s that (psst i wrote a whole post just about that already)

and nikolai sure did give a dramatic speech about how dying will set him free, very convincing! weird that he faked his death, then. hmmm.

granted, nikolai’s speech might’ve been The Page’s work, but tbf it does align with his views on this topic so i’d like to believe there was some truth there, just like there’s some truth in dazai’s suicide attempts - yes, they want to die, but... there’s more to be done first.

both of them seem to hold a high value in the act of dying, and both see it as being set free. both feel trapped in their own life - nikolai outright says so, that he feels caged inside his own head, and if you dig into dazai’s character song you see him describe life as a “never-ending today”. both see death as salvation from their situation, but won’t get down to achieving it.

this is actually a good place to transition to our next topic,

meaning

since i mentioned dazai’s character song, one thing he seems to focus on there is looking for meaning, or rather being frustrated that he hasn’t found one yet (he also brings up this internal conflict in the dark era, but the song solidifies it as relevant even in his current state). dazai tries so hard to find meaning, but can’t.

nikolai’s fixation on free will, i’d argue, is not quite a search for meaning, but rather a struggle to prove there is no greater meaning in life, in order to ease his own guilt. none of his murders matter at the end of the day... right? then why does he still feel this way?

ironically, both can find meaning in their bonds - dazai has many at this point, with oda being the main one he might’ve found meaning in before, and nikolai has fyodor - but this is scary. they’re not used to having meaning, to caring. and so we circle back to the clowning, to pushing people away, to wanting to kill fyodor, to the comfort and familiarity of no meaning. 

guilt

like onions and ogres, clowns have layers. bear with me here.

on the surface, you’d expect them both to feel guilt for their horrendous acts. peel a layer, and it seems neither of them particularly does, otherwise they would stop doing it, you’d assume. peel back another layer, and... honestly, i think they do, but are just repressing it.

this is smth i get less from the text and more from their real life counterparts, tbh. going back to the yozo comparisons, he does outright say “i’ve lived a life filled with guilt” which. is very fair to expect to hear from our dazai. meanwhile the real life gogol straight up died because of his guilt. i don’t think asagiri would overlook stuff like that when turning them into characters.

nikolai also does outright tell atsushi he feels guilty for the atrocities he committed - though, pretends he didn’t mean it immediately after, putting back one of those layers we tried to peel.

going back to dazai’s song, it’s the “the tainted past, too, begone!” line that i feel is nodding to it. dazai obviously knows the things he’s done while in the mafia are wrong, seems like he knew while being in the mafia as well given his conversations with oda during the dark era. but this really does make it seem like he regrets it, imo.

they’re both repressing their guilt for the same reason they won’t die. there’s more important shit going on. dazai outright tells atsushi that wallowing in guilt is pointless, and we see him move forward and execute plans even if he’s still feeling guilty throughout, and even when he needs to do some dirty work to make them happen. nikolai is the same in that regard - he’s just hyperfocused on this goal of proving his free will, and guilt is another thing that’s keeping him caged, so he must break free from it. wallowing in it will simply be counterproductive.

sorry i gotta talk abt fyodor now

but it’s gonna be short i promise

so we’ve got this all knowing, unbeatable, super smart guy, right? anyway what if the only people we see outsmart him were 2 suicidal clowns. wouldn’t that be funny

so, it’s a bit tricky to call it “outsmarting” with dazai considering how their whole Thing is give and take that’s not going to end any time soon, but fyodor obviously views him as someone on his level so i’m counting that. he wouldn’t put this much effort into someone he didn’t think was less smart than him. and, he calls him a worthy chess opponent for a reason

nikolai did outsmart him, though. nikolai was supposed to die. nikolai wasn’t meant to survive the plan, let alone come to meursault and put fyodor in a death game when he could’ve escaped using the vampiric guard he planted in the prison instead. nikolai is throwing an unpredictable wrench in the plan of the guy who knows how everything is gonna turn out because humans are so predictable.

clearly they both affect him a lot, more than we see others have. both of them are the only ones so far we’ve seen get on the same level as fyodor

and, both of them are seen by fyodor. nikolai explicitly says fyodor is the only person who sees him, and dazai is seen because they are the same, on a certain level. fyodor understands them, which is why it’s even more impressive that they can outsmart him, imo

in conclusion

asagiri i am on my knees begging. make them interact properly please please please

fr tho, i’m curious if this means something. because this is a huge amount of similarities, especially when they’re not really related in any way and barely ever talked. does it mean anything?? how about nikolai being able to use his ability on dazai, does that mean anything????? asagiri please give me some answers i am asking so nicely

anyway. thank you for reading! lmk if i missed anything, or reblog with your own additions and analysis. if you disagree with anything i said, feel free to express that as well, just be respectful. hope i managed to infect you with my brainrot as well. have a great day :3!

[roseillith]

Pls don’t hurt yourself. Deleting a blog is one thing but pls don’t hurt yourself. So sorry to hear you’re feeling this way. You put so much joy and beauty into the world via this blog im one of many recipients of that and no matter how you feel you look like externally, i and many others get a chance to see your soul and it’s beautiful, expansive, smart, inspirational and full of humour! As a black person I also sometimes feel alienated and off key when my fam speak ga of twi around me and yet haven’t taught me, sometimes I feel so disconnected from everyone and feel like I’m floating away with nothing to hold me, no anchor to any sort of real meaningful life. Betrayal from friends or from love, broken heartedness, loneliness strike but still there is a lil bit of light, there is the wind blowing on my face, a glass of water, a favourite song, some sun. There are small joys that remind us we are not alone. And You are not alone and I hope that one day soon you receive all the joy light and good energy you put into this harsh world. Pls don’t give up. We love you, keep your head up

tyvm I appreciate your message deeply, I feel a constant push n pull whenever I log on & post on here, the things that I’ve posted recently (including this) has made feel ashamed in that I have spilled out all of my thoughts n feelings out on this public platform, the same place that I’ve been constructing as way to separate my physical& literal self and run towards things that I have stored inside me, all of the stuff the I carry along with me whenever I’m out in public, that I know I can’t share w/ any nigga that I know out there instead I try to avert my eyes from all other dudes out there cuz I know I don’t fit in and feel physically gross when I’m around w/ a bunch of dudes, me failing to be a man in general and avoid man-to-man convos irl and instead retreating those inner stuff into the girl that I want to be, the kind of girl where I know I can apply all the totality of myself out there into the world.

Now I’m just staring at this public persona that I have made of myself feeling increasingly distant day-to-day and I wonder why I put all my all into this blog w/ gifs,pics,anime stuff, film stuff, music stuff etc. when I can’t muster up the courage to talk about all that shit outside out aloud without having to be disgusted from hearing the sound of my voice or/and how the person/s I’m saying it to is even viewing me physically & as a person/“grown up man” having the courage to go out and transition to the girl that I can see in the distance.

The one rule I had when making this blog was to never spill out my personal shit of actually being a man irl who’s found solace and significant more ease in being a woman online cuz I know that if I ever did that it would be embarrassing & the end for me personally, I wouldn't be able to look myself in the eye, all the shit that I had posted on here it all being a lie to me, and worse of all I never really took in any support from anyone else here I had this lone wolf-esque mentality where I always try and not get close to anybody I was mutuals w/, never share anything abt my personal shit, always looking through the window seeing other ppl chill with others, and when I look at myself on here I’m feel still as alone as I do irl & tbh much of it is my fault from not being able to put myself out there and feeling disassociated from myself in whatever I do on here and irl

[dxrksong]

Another Dp x DC au!

That's right! I'm back at it again, strangely hyperfixated on Johnny 13, but oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Johnny 13 is a clone au!!

This neat little au appeared sometime after seeing an au where another one of Danny's clones had survived and named himself 31.

So of course I saw Johnny 13 and went :)

So Johnny is a clone. The 13th clone to be exact and the one that lived the longest out of all the rest of the clones. Of course he still died (he is a ghost) but he had lived long enough for his soul to imprint on enough ectoplasm to form.

What about the other clones?

Shadow

That's right! The clone's fear and pain was enough to turn them into shades but there wasn't enough individuality or something to grab onto, so they weren't able to form into their own ghosts!

So what were baby shades, who wouldn't be able to survive once again alone, to do? Take a page out of a school of fish's book and latch onto each other in order to survive!

Shades feed off emotions in order to survive, since I hc that they aren't strong enough to be able to properly intake raw ectoplasm. So they take it in it's base stage instead!

So what are a school of shades to do when they see a small ghost that feels the same way they do?

Adopt him into the school of course! :) they're all siblings here and family sticks together! So what if this one is stronger than them? That just means more chances for survival!

They take everything happily with a grain of salt. Of course Johnny gets ghost adopted. Because he's still a child.

Tbh I believe it's Walker that adopts him. Mostly because I just like tough guys being soft to their own kids. Either that or Spectra 🤔 then again I don't remember either of the characters interacting with each other so it's possible!

Walker would probably try to separate Johnny and the Shades at first. But after asking why Johnny would just say:

"They're my siblings!"

And that would be the end of that! The shades would feed off Johnny's emotions sometimes, and Johnny would help his shades by scaring people and causing chaos sometimes!

I headcannon that if a shade tries hard enough or becomes the apprentice of an ancient (I.E Nocturn and his dream walkers) Shades could become strong enough to feed on ectoplasm with the occasional emotion and live fairly normal ghostly lives.

Of course Johnny's siblings aren't about to do that anytime soon since that'd involve leaving one of their own behind :)

So instead they stick together, happy to just be a family, as weird as they are.

Of course this wouldn't be a crossover au if Johnny and his siblings DIDN'T somehow find their way onto the JL radar.

Could be entirely on accident

Johnny looks like the splitting imagine of whoever he was cloned from.

Johnny and his shadow could've gone causing chaos!

But I like the possibility of BatMan or the YJL stumbling across the area in which Johnny and the others were made.

I remember seeing a post with a theory that ghosts could feel when you mess with their grave/corpse. So when the YJL stumble upon him and his siblings grave site.

Johnny would be PISSED! That's his siblings GRAVE! Who dares to step foot near them?! And proceeds to speed through a portal that just so happens to open right in front of the f*ckers that dared mess with something so important to him.

(Imagine finding a room with the corpses and still being used test tubes of failed clones and all of a sudden you hear a Roar that shakes the earth before an entire LAZARUS PIT opens in the middle of the room and a pissed off looking cyclist with the souls of the damned, charges out at you with a war cry. And you can't hit him)

That would lead to the valid question though of WHO exactly they're cloned after! It was cannon that Roy and of course Superman were cloned. (And maybe one of the batfam if I remember correctly) so could it be one of them? Or someone else?

Either way, Jason is pissed and the team now has an angry ghost and Shadow to deal with.

(I still find it weird that Johnny is the ONLY ONE sans those that have white or black hair, to have A NORMAL HAIR COLOR! Those locks are 110% dyed and bleached! Change my mind! And no, Spectra's human disguise doesn't count, it's fake.)

[hermitw]

Hii, I've read your Sukuna analysis alongwith @thepersonperson's analysis and I have to say I like everyone knew he had a very rough past that made him what he is today but the SA part i didn't even think about it with him but it makes so much sense in the nuanced context. And considering he has been with Kenjaku too for god knows at what age and how long it makes me dread at the possibility.

Regardless I'm not so good with words and just wanted to say that your analysis really gave a different and a deeper perspective on his character and really makes me think what if instead of a 15 year old boy he had someone more mature like Nanami (perceptive and a great listener) with him. Could he ever change (ik Sukuna's redemption is the most hated take in the fandom but my simp mind can't help but wonder the what if...)

Also what are your prediction on how his arc and jjk is going to end because i refuse to believe Yuji's last black flash is taking him down(coping)

I'm so glad you got something out of them! Yeah, I'm both dying to know what Kenjaku's past relationship with Sukuna (and the other reincarnated sorcerers) was and dreading it. (Gege has to fill us in on more Heian lore, right? I'm begging).

Anon, you have some great questions, and my tldr JJK ending / Sukuna hope post just came out of the queue, so I'll go more in depth here (and apologize for such a long reply - I tried to keep this short, but apparently have many thoughts).

I think we've had enough irredeemable villains with the curses and curse users like Kenjaku (I really don't see him being given some tragic backstory that makes us understand him, but maybe Kenjaku was so evil without cause that he became like a curse. Same with Haruta and the older ones in Shibuya - they all preyed on the weak, unprovoked). I think that Geto and Sukuna have been misunderstood because we see through the lense that jujutsu society taught us, and I like that. Sukuna deserves his redemption arc, I believe, I want it so bad.

Tbh I've never thought "what if Nanami was the vessel"? I don't think I'm the best person to explore that possibility, nor can I imagine him eating Sukuna's finger (but it would be funny and I'd be down to read someone else's thoughts).

But you have a great point - I'm going to explore this route with Yaga, instead. While I don't know Yaga's past, he is mature and similar to Sukuna in that they put on this cold shell of character, but are very observant and artistic individuals (the quiet creativity of literature and doll-making??). Hell, Sukuna's hobby being eating and Yaga's compulsion to make dolls could both easily stem from loneliness.

I forget whether I've given Yaga his own analysis post, he's super compassionate - from the design of Panda to the use of his cursed corpses in the manga, to help someone overcome by grief (though it's against the rules and he could be in trouble for it), I also feel like the conservative higher ups take issue with visibly queer students, so Yaga admits them to the Tokyo school, pretends not to notice, he makes sure that they're becoming sorcerers for themselves, etc. He's a great listener and you don't even have to say anything.

Plus, with his cursed corpses, Yaga wouldn't even have to eat Sukuna's fingies - he could feed them to a doll. Then Sukuna can have his own body (while I'm not sure whether he could take his true form this way, he told us that he is more comfortable in Megumi's body than his own - he gets to look like any other person, he fits better with clothing, furniture, the way everything is built... Sukuna could design a vessel to look the way he wants to).

If Sukuna were able to incarnate with his own body at first, then he wouldn't have to continue the cycle by repressing another soul (and then feeling gross about it), he would be able to chill and discuss poetry. I think he would still be full of rage at times, and have a lot of emotions and shadow work to process through, but Yaga would listen to Sukuna and find a solution to free him from Kenjaku's plot. (even if Sukuna is under a pact to not discuss certain things, Yaga might be able to figure out what he needs to know).

Or if Yaga had eaten a finger at first, then he wouldn't have just ignored Sukuna - maybe he wouldn't say much, but he would listen. At least have conversations when they were alone. Maybe teach him to make his own cursed corpse and provide it with the fingers they'd find together (I like this AU... Thanks for the idea).

But I have thought that if Megumi were the original vessel, they might have a symbiotic relationship like Hana and Angel. Megumi and Sukuna were both abandoned children, seen first for their differences, their strength, put into a separate category against their will. It was their birthright and they never asked for it.

I rly believe that Kenjaku made sure Yuuji would be the perfect cage psychologically as well - it was important for him to have no emotional understanding of Sukuna, to not be able to relate at all.

Ultimately I hope that Sukuna gets to have his own body, I think that could solve a lot, though he does have a lot to work through and recover from.

I do have fear in my heart from the recent chapter, where there's a frame of Sukuna with white eyes from being hit by Yuuji - it reminds me too much of Mahito in Shibuya, and that better mean nothing. (or maybe it means that we get to see Sukuna's final form, which is fine. Uraume said he's been holding back, after all.)

Something drastic has to happen if there are 4 chapters left and gege mentioned the ending would be satisfying for most people.

So my predictions for JJK ending...

I have 2 routes of predictions, but they could both happen, I guess. A few things listed have already come true. But almost every time I've been right, Gege throws in something unpredictable. I'm trying to finish my 3rd manga read by the next chapter so I can look for clues about the future.

I still can't let go of my cryogenic domain theory (it's not Chosover), or the possibility of time travel - whether to prevent things from happening, or to understand the present better, I can't rule it out.

Oh, and it's not Gojover either. He's the honored one throughout heaven and earth. But especially - the ability to create sugar? That guy Yuuji went to school with... His CT is so random. But who was always eating sugar? Gojo. It always felt like such a massive hint, along with the recent artwork of Gojo, Yuuji and Megumi - all three of them have taken on traits of the one possessing their body. That's why Gojo looks like that, I swear. His brain is just recovering right now. He might show up with Rika, in Yuuta's body.

I'm not confident in predicting these things, but I'd like for them to happen...

Shiu Kong hasn't been seen in a long time. Not since Geto took over the cult. We know very little about Shiu, but he was Toji's friend for 10 years, knew Megumi when he was little, used to be a detective, and is a Korean citizen. So whether he moved to Korea, or awakened some CT, or decided to figure out what was going on in Japan... I don't know, I just think it would be neat to see what he's doing, to have him be the one to tell Megumi about his father. He knew Toji the best, and Gege liked his character.

Gege did say that the end is satisfying, and I forgot about Mei, so if anyone has to die then I really hope she's the one. I don't see how this would happen, unless by Geto's hands.

Geto could return - Gojo said he would have been satisfied if Geto were there with him. Gojo is coming back, and bringing him along. I've been long hoping for Geto's return - Sukuna grew Yuuji a new heart, so maybe Geto's brain can return as well. Then he might have access to Kenjaku's memories, and a thousand years of jujutsu knowledge would be good for them (I was so stressed at finding out Yuuta did not make a pact with and revive Kenjaku for this reason). I also thought that Yuuta was the type to bring Geto's body back, especially when Gojo wanted to mourn it. Since we know he can basically teleport those who he's copied, it seems even more likely. I'm of the belief that the airport is not Gojo's hallucination - how would he know Haibara visited Nanami? (unless they were so close that it was obvious this would happen...)

I'll end with some hope for us Sukuna simps - the first episode was called Ryomen Sukuna, not Yuuji Itadori. Details like that had rumors going that Sukuna is really the main character of Jujutsu Kaisen, so... Maybe... (I hope it really is all about him).

Edit to add: Gojo will become Sukuna's vessel

[gorogues]

andrewmoocow replied to your text post: I just want to give her a hug.

Same, TBH!

demonbirdsforever said: Thank you!

No problem :)

Spoilers for Wonder Woman #12 beyond this point!

timethehobo replied to your text post: I’m of the same mind as you on this issue. Thanks for reviewing it as well.

Glad to hear it, and no problem! People needed a heads up on this.

demonbirdsforever replied to your text post: I heard from Wes (Critical Thinking) that Wonder Woman was going to get the… “Batman Treatment”. I guess this is the start of that.🧐

I hadn't heard that, but it's not surprising given that Tom King wrote Batman for several years. It's clear that to some extent he's differentiating between Diana and Batman/Batfam, but here she's not as different from them as she'd probably like to believe. That could be interesting if she realizes it in an issue or two and it leads to some soul-searching, but I'm not feeling a ton of faith in that.

demonbirdsforever replied to your text post: Side thought. The Interrogation was poor. I’ve seen tv investigators do it better without laying a finger on the perp. How embarrassing.

It was. In fairness, Damian's a kid, but Diana really should have had better control of the situation and of herself.

orion-nottson replied to your text post: DC writers try not to write a frankly bizarre amount of unnecessary violence challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)

And it's in that weird awkward zone in which Digger gets the shit kicked out of him but is somehow not bloody and bruised. Not that I'm jonesing to see him hurt, but realistic consequences for the violence might better drive home how brutal this was.

lfthinker replied to your text post: What I don’t understand is why Digger’s so reluctant to betray Waller. I thought a big part of his character was that he wouldn’t think twice about selling out the Suicide Squad. Why wouldn’t he jump at the chance to screw over Waller if he knows he could get away with it?

It is weird, yeah. I guess it's possible he's allowed to be free in exchange for his silence (and maybe assistance), but I can't imagine that even Digger enjoys seeing his friends (or colleagues, if we're being pessimistic about his feelings for other people) depowered, imprisoned, and enslaved. I guess it's also possible he agrees with Waller's goals, but that seems less likely because she also wants to take down low-powered everyday villains like him.

eusouomar replied to your text post: Wow I really hate all of this. The issue, I mean, not your review. Your review is spot on.

Thank you, I'm glad :) But yeah, I feel the same about the issue.

longitudinalwaveme replied to your text post: Our heroes, whom we are presumably supposed to like and root for, engaging in acts of at least borderline torture for an entire issue: definitely not why I read comics. This is like when they had Zatanna and Barry be involved with brainwashing people in Identity Crisis and its aftermath. Or how they had Ray Palmer torturing Killer Moth in that terrible Justice League: Cry for Justice miniseries. Ugh. Who wants to read about superheroes behaving like supervillains?

Both Marvel and DC (but especially DC) go through their edgy phases, and it's honestly tiresome. But it's interesting, I did a quick google of some fan reviews of the issue at other sites and none of them expressed dismay over the torture or even had a problem with the way Digger was treated. It obviously wasn't an exhaustive search and maybe there are others who are upset, but maybe it's just us Digger/villain fans who are bothered :\

longitudinalwaveme replied to your text post: And while I'm glad DC hasn't totally forgotten about Owen, but I dislike the snobby jerk entrepreneur version so much that I almost wish they had.

It's honestly surprising that they didn't, as it was just one story more than five years ago. I would have figured that someone at DC would google Owen and get the more famous version.

ammomancer replied to your text post: wait wym douchey entrepreneur, i didnt realize owen had even showed up post new 52 before this

He appeared in one previous story, which you can see here. He was very different from his pre-Flashpoint self, basically a new character with the same name.

pixie-mask replied to your text post: Our…heroes? Not just as a Boomerang fan but this isn’t enjoyable to see. Last I remember they weren’t anti-heroes. But this is my opinion on a quick look. Will …enjoy reading later.

It's especially disappointing from Wonder Woman, and even a bit surprising that it's in her own book (and not, say, some event comic like a Crisis title).

[rottentiger-art]

The way we were robbed of senior year quoagan. I bet they were insufferable in a good way in that it was annoying to be around them once they didn’t have to hide anymore. I really hope we get some stories about that time in the new movie.

Omg totally, I mean, look at the trailer, Logan seems unable to let her go, and this is 15 years after, imagine how unbearably publically clingy they were (I would sell my soul to see it)

Like I see them walking holding hands, kissing and hugging, cuddling in the open area, being annoyingly corny, whispering sweet noting to each other, making everyone tired of so much PDA and over the top flirting and lovey-dovey moments lol. Like that scene where they both agreed they were embarrassed of being dating each other and went "awwwww" and hugged, that but about everything they agree/say at the same time and the gang in the background like "omg we get it, you're in love" XD

Ahhh I have so many scenarios going through my mind at the same time, they'd be so disgustingly cuuuute.

Since it's been prompted (I'm not sure if I answered that ask yet tbh), I'll definitely be making some senior year Quogan content, as well as collage/post collage. Feel free to send scenarios in those context tho, I don't mind, in fact, the more the merrier. I'm craving post finale content.

[unclassedguy]

Jjk 261 leaks ahead:

Alright I was going to post about this in the morning but I got distracted and needed time to process everything anyways.

I don't usually share my thoughts on the new chapters publicly but I will make an exception now 😔.

Yap incoming

ok, so there were a lot of theories floating around before 261 about if we would actually be getting a gojo comeback or not. Honestly, some people pointed out why gojo reviving might not be the best decision for the story, but I was placing bets on it anyways because I too was pretty bummed by his end and also because my naive self chose to believe it was the most likely choice for gege to make.

However I did try to keep my hopes reasonable, choosing to belive that it could just be a hallucination.

Truthfully, I didn't think it would be Kenjaku. I'd seen the theory that it could be them but I honestly doubted gege would do that. Yet in the depths of my copium filled soul I had always been holding onto the hope that kenjaku would somehow return to the story. When I tell you my secret little stash of cope was as potent as some gojo fans im telling the truth 😭.

I honestly hoped maybe it would be kenjaku, just maybe. This morning I sought out the leaks and you know what I saw? This:

I was DYING. For a second I thought gege had really done, I was in disbelief, I was in shock, I briefly wondered if this was a joke.

AND THEN I WAS SO HAPPY. I was like: Yes! Answers! Yuji-kenjaku interactions! An unexpected twist in the fight! Forget the logistics of how kenjaku ended up in Gojo's body, I was going to trust gege's cooking and enjoy the chapter before taking a step back and critiquing anything.

And then I read that it wasn't kenjaku. It was Yuta using kenjaku's ct.

I didn't want to belive it could be Yuta. Of all the outcome I thought it CANNOT be Yuta. Not possibly. BUT IT WAS. IT WAS YUTA.

I have felt emotional when consuming media before, and sometimes underwhelmed or critical when something didn't rub me the right way, but I'd never understood people who act so utterly devastated by an author's decisions.

I UNDERSTAND NOW.

I've been mourning all day man 😭. My gojo cope, my kenjaku cope, all of it down the drain just like that AND ALL AT ONCE. I genuinely am not sure what about this chapter gas prompted such emotion in me. Am I lobotomized after all? I choose to belive its the sheer shock of this chapters events.

Tbh, I read the rest of the chapter in a bit of a daze and I'd have to go back and look over it again to share any actual thoughts or analysis, but I will says some other things stood out at me about it.

first of all, I don't hate Yuta. He's not my favorite character but I don't hate him and I wish the best to you yuta fans, however yall are feeling. his line about how the others are so worried about becoming monsters, unknowing that they've forced that role onto gojo all this time hit pretty hard for me. And now Yuta is taking on the same role since gojo's gone. He's strong and is not just taking Gojo's body but in a way taking on his position as the 'monster' of the jujutsu world, even if only for the dubious amount of time he had left.

Also the way sukuna just, punches yuji aside 😭. Nahh. The disrespect. He rlly just sees yuta in gojo's body and tosses yuji away. Rlly hope my boy beats him up next chapter and it doesn't become a yuta-one-man-show.

Overall I'm dying, I'm crying, I'm gritting my teeth, I miss kenjaku, I miss gojo, rip yuta 😭

(Please gege give me my wife back. Even just a kenjaku flashback is enough. Gege pls.)

[ryansjane]

Heyyy girl! Not sure if you’ve answered this before but what are your fave non gmmtv bls/Thai dramas?🪷💗

hi anon! I don't think I actually have, all in the same post! let's go <3

I TOLD SUNSET ABOUT YOU

I've talked about this show about a thousand times already, so I'll keep it short: this is the only show I consider truly perfect, from its writing, cinematography, acting, chemistry, storyline, soundtrack, etc. it's not for everyone bc it's VERY angsty but it's deffo my cup of tea & I'm gonna be honest teh's coming out storyline was extremely important to me as it came right before I also finally accepted my bisexuality. overall just my favorite show, so important & beautiful with deeply flawed characters <3

PROJECT S: SKATE OUR SOULS

this show is the only other one with itsay I've rated a 10/10 in my life, even though it's not perfect, because it literally changed my life. the last sentence of the show literally helped me get over the worst depressive episode of my life, which is a pretty goddamn beautiful result for a show about depression. even though it's not entirely perfect, it's still an extremely well written show, has a gorgeous cinematography full of neons, incredible performances & a story that was so important to tell. I couldn't recommend it more!

PROJECT S: SIDE BY SIDE

in also a near flawless show, we have this show. it's a very touching story that will make you cry, tries to understand all of its characters, with stunning acting performances from everyone, and it's just the kind of shows I don't see anyone disliking tbh. very well executed & definitely an all time favorite of mine :)

THE REVENGE

probably the most underrated show on this list, this is actually the show I'm the most upset about being underrated lol, bc it's literally SO GOOD. if it was a korean show it'd go viral type of good. this is a very fucked up story so not for the faint of heart but it's executed extremely well, and honestly I don't have much negative to say about this show. flawless performances, an extremely impactful show, and forever one of my favorite thai dramas ever made!

SLEEPLESS SOCIETY: INSOMNIA

another highly underrated thai drama that no one has watched. this is female-led, touches on politics & corruption, has a very different setting from usual & a great plot through and through. the ending is also super iconic & stays on my mind to this day. I really encourage anyone to watch it!

MY RIDE

if you like love sick or my school president, I think my ride will be your cup of tea. it's a pretty simple story but with such lovable characters & a beautiful healthy ship that it immediately became one of my favorite comfort shows. it's the ultimate proof that even a more simple story can be beautiful if given enough soul, quirkiness & love :)

IN FAMILY WE TRUST

in family we trust is a lakorn, but it doesn't feel like a lakorn. apart from the obviously beyond iconic cast at every level, the writing & cinematography are leagues above any other lakorns. for a murder story that should be pretty straightforward, they managed to weave in the interpersonal relationships of the characters perfectly, and this is the kind of show that you can put down once you start. if you've never watched lakorns before, I'd recommend this one to start with since it's quite similar to regular series.

TO SIR, WITH LOVE

another lakorn, another slay! this one is way more lakorn-y so I don't think it's for everyone, but it's literally the only lakorn that treats its queer characters fairly lol & it's such a beautiful love story. it's very dramatic bc 1) lakorn & 2) historical drama with repressed queer characters, but everything in this drama just HITS. you care for the characters so much, and the brother relationship is also so supportive & beautiful and I'm so glad the show never compromised it for some petty drama. overall this show put me through all the emotions & I loved it so much for it lol

GREAT MEN ACADEMY

this show is the proof of the kind of imagination thai film makers have when they get a good budget. the world building of that show is so vibrant & fun, but more than that the writing is really good with endearing characters, good interpersonal relationships, and a really beautiful love story & plot. this is just such a nice show to watch, even with its kind of childish aspect, and once again the cast is great since it's the same as in in family we trust lol. watch both shows back to back & be shook at how drastically different yet so good they both are :)

THE DEBUT

another super underrated show that no one has watched but fucking slaps. not only is it female-led with amazing performances (and a great cast!), but this show really is so well written, with a mystery & a plot twist that will pull you in and make you bingewatch it. the cinematography & colors also slap, and overall it's such a good show that I wish more people would watch.

xxx

[moonlightyong]

“you were each other’s safe place and reckless place. and you would be each other’s highest of highs and downfall.”

– pairing: mark lee x fem! reader

– genre: fluff, best friends to lovers (?)

– wc: 841 words [one shot]

– warnings: underlying tones of depression and suicidal tendencies, mark and y/n are two carefree souls who only want to live their teenage years to the fullest, mark is head over heels for the reader and it’s disgustingly cute, reader is also down bad for the boy but mark is an expert at missing clues [tbh, the reader also is which explains the lil’ (?) i put right after the “best friends to lovers” tag above], if u enjoy reading about two complete idiots who happen to be each other’s anchor in this world and who happen to feel an undying love for each other but are too scared to break the friendship and are completely oblivious to each other’s feelings then this one’s for u my friend 🫵🏼

– author’s note: just wanted to say this is the very first writing i’m posting on here and english isn’t my first language so please be kind + alright so, i don’t have enough songs in mind to make a playlist for this lil’ piece of writing u’re about to read right here but… i strongly suggest listening to the following masterpieces to live this journey to the fullest as most of them truly inspired me and resonate with this writing [especially the first two songs]:

exo – runaway

5sos – safety pin

maroon 5 – she will be loved

chase atlantic – friends

one throw of a stone against a window was all it took.

the young brown-haired man who was comfortably laying on his bed and having some me time by reading his favorite comic —a.k.a. “the amazing spiderman”— knew exactly what it meant. it could only mean one thing, truly. it could only be one person. he reluctantly got up and walked to his window. as he opened it, your smile got bigger. and without noticing, he smiled back. it was you. it could only be you.

“what do u want from me?” he half-yelled, half-whispered, trying to gain back a certain level of confidence after getting so mushy and weak in the knees by the sole sight of you.

“i want u to get out here and live ur youth to the fullest!” you confidently said, your signature smirk shining brightly on your features.

“yes.” that’s what he wanted to say. to be quite honest, if it were up to his heart’s desires, he would say yes to everything you’d throw his way. hell, he would follow you to the end of the world, through the harshest deserts and deepest seas, beyond the horizon and towards the sky, no matter where you would be headed to, as long as you’d be there with him. but he knew, —at least, the rational part of him— that it couldn’t go this way. that it would never go this way. and, even though that glimpse of mischief in your eyes was trying to lure him in, he knew he couldn’t give you the answer you desperately wanted to hear.

“nop’. sorry, not tonight.” as expected, you rolled your eyes at him —one of your dearest habits, truly— and didn’t accept his answer.

“c’mon, mark! it’s gonna be fun! i mean, u know we always have fun together!” he hated to fight you, you and that light in your eyes.

“u know i know that. it’s just that… exams are coming up and i’m trying to tone it down a bit, y’know?” he already knew what you were gonna say. that’s how much you knew about each other.

“exams are a regular thing. u know what isn’t? ur youth… i’m just saying.” now, it was his turn to roll his eyes. and yet, you made a point. you always did.

“alright, i’ll just grab my sweater”. that one sentence was enough to light up your whole world with joy. in a way, you could say that your happiness depended on him. and you could also say the same for him as he got the certitude a while ago that seeing you happy was the basis of his own happiness.

once he had put on his eternal black sweater, he did what he usually does on those reckless, tempting nights. he climbed out of the window and landed perfectly on the ground, crouching in a stylish manner, in a pose that oddly resembled one of a famous superhero. his agility, speed and quick reflexes even allowed him to earn the nickname “spiderman” —or “spidermark”— among the neighborhood, making him an icon to all the kids around. but, what he didn’t know was that his quick abilities were also quite charming to his one and only: you.

if he had only looked up right after landing on the green grass of his backyard, he would’ve caught a glimpse of amazement and pure admiration that were shining in your irises. but, unfortunately, he didn’t. if there was one thing he was to suck at, it’d probably be at taking hints. yeah, he totally sucked at this.

“alright, now, let’s go!” and in less than a second, you trapped his hand in yours —not that he minded— and led him towards a new horizon in a world of wild nights, poor decisions and reckless behaviors. and even though most people would be worried, he wasn’t. he found his peace of mind whenever he was around you and that was all that mattered.

as you ran on the empty streets towards a destination that was completely unknown to him, mark felt entirely alive. he didn’t know if it was because of the electricity sparks that radiated from your intertwined hands or simply because of you being here with him, specifically choosing him to waste your precious time with… but mark felt alive. and he usually didn’t. and he knew it was the same for you. and see, that’s another thing he loved about your bond. by being together, you defied the laws of your pitiful, miserable lives. just by being together, your two hopeless souls got to taste true happiness and the will to live.

you were each other’s safe place and reckless place. and you would be each other’s highest of highs and downfall. you both knew the perks and disadvantages of your relationship, secretly, and yet, you both decided to take the biggest risk of them all. because you knew you’d be worth it. because you knew it’d be worth it. and you were damn right.

hope u enjoyed reading this one shot! don’t hesitate to tell me ur thoughts about it, it’d be an honor to read them :]

★彡