#but i hate the feeling of joy i get when i hate kevin

[attineilde]

KEVIN DAY THAT BITCH KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HES DOING (being all flirty and leaning in close and whispering things like "it could be our secret" and giving false hope)

[stabbyfoxandrew]

Angel Neil please :)

WIP Wednesday (4/3) | Guardian Angel Neil AU (Part 148)

Each of them takes turns firing shots at Andrew as quickly as they can. And he’s not let a single one through. There have been twenty-three shots on him so far- he knows because Neil has been counting, loudly, since they began. It’s even though, on the strikers’ end. Neither of them have gotten past him. Kevin is 0 for 13, Gordon 0 for 12.

He watches as Gordon starts to scoop up a ball and starts to change his stance, then suddenly the stadium lights are blinding and the floor feels like liquid under his feet. Andrew blinks his eyes closed hard before squinting them back open. When he does, there’s a shimmery, silver blob covering half his field of vision.

Panic has his heart racing, because what the fuck is that? He blinks several times, trying to get it to go away. Then he realizes what’s happening. A goddamn migraine. Oh joy! He hasn’t had one of these in years. But he remembers how to deal with them.

He needs to lie down. Preferably someplace dark and quiet and where there are no people milling about. Abby’s office would work, if he could talk Wymack into letting him go. But he would never buy it, he’d think Andrew was making it up to get out of practice. (Coach is smart like that. And Andrew’s done it before.)

Maybe he could just walk off the court without a word and seek out one of the couches in the lounge. (He’s done that before, too.) No one would follow him, probably. Except probably Kevin. But it’s still a decent plan.

THWACK. Perhaps, Andrew thinks as the ball smacks against the wall again, he should just give up and be euthanized—

“Andrew!” shouts Kevin. Andrew blinks his eyes open again and sees the striker stalking over, part of him hidden by the aura. “How could you have missed that one? That was slop. I mean... Seth just spoonfed that one to you and you let it by!”

“I didn’t see it,” Andrew mutters truthfully. When Kevin’s expression changes from frustration to concern, Andrew holds both hands out of front of him. “Help, help. Kevin, I’ve gone blind. You have to kick me off the team. Right now!”

Kevin lets out a breath. “What’s really wrong? Are you sick or something?”

“No.” Andrew insists. “I just wasn’t paying attention. Trot over there and get back to it. I’ll let you get even with Gordon.”

“Don’t cheat for me.” Kevin says, sticking a finger into Andrew’s chest.

“What’s the point of being friends with the goalie if he won’t let you win?” Andrew grins. Kevin’s brows furrow. “Fine, fine. We’ll play fair. Go on.”

Kevin turns to go back to the line he and Gordon have been shooting from and Andrew’s vision starts to clear up. He blinks a few times and it's back to normal. Oh. That one was short. Good. Now comes the other bit. Andrew bites down a grimace when his headache ramps up again.

He’d love to press his fingers into his temples, but he’s got a helmet on and with the way these people hate him, taking it off now would be a horrible idea. But… He supposes his head wouldn’t be hurting if he was unconscious… 

No, no. Neil might get stabby about it if someone hits him.

[hornet-best-bug]

I can't remember the last time i was normal about warframe. Sure, maybe i was when i first picked the game up, but ever since? I've been rambling on, and on and on about this silly space ninja game, making headcannons, OC's, alternate realities, and so much more.

I ramble so much about warframe to my friends on discord and in random servers that people hate me for it, and consider it my only personality trait. And to that i say. Well, yes kevin. Warframe is my only defining personality trait, and i am proud of that, just like your only defining personality trait is being so dry in conversations, you taste like drywall.

Autism be dammed, i wouldn't have half the joy in life without it. It has its downs, like when instead of obsessing over fictional characters and games, i'm having either a meltdown or so overstimultaed i want to rip my ears off. But i still wouldn't be me without warframe or autism. Everyone be damned, i found the thing that brings me pure and utter happiness, and it's strange that allistic people don't think thats okay. There is no such thing as an appropriate amount of joy people, everyone feels emotions differently, and joy is one of those. Fuck the people who tell you to not talk about your hyperfixations or special interests, they can kiss my ass and get sent to the void.

Anyways, this derailed a bit, but the gist is. I love warframe, and its my hyperfixation and i want to learn everything i can about this game.

#Sorry to any kevins out there the name was random #Man warframe sends me into such random tangents #Hornet rambles for the first time on tumblr #anyways warframe is so neurodivergent and LGBTQ+ coded real

[qqtxt]

[🌸] just like the movies w/ txt

✿ pairing: ot5 x reader / idol!txt / non.idol!you / a couple of curse words, mentions of food and eating / very cheesy and clichè tropes / fluff galore bc i’m a soft bean ✿ mini-fics with each member for the same situation / less than 500 words for each member / altogether, word count: 1,846 words ✿ in which these are the members imagined as cheesy romantic tv tropes 📺 ✿ a/n: bruh all i did was watch b99 and it was that one episode with raymond and kevin in the rain :”) #iykyk. also i know there are more clichè tropes that are angsty but... listen here, i ain’t about that so let’s sit in fluff shall we– [masterlist 🌸] / other members under the cut! / @kflixnet​ 💖

🎧: movies by conan gray: “i want a love like the movies.”

[🐰] soobin / seeing you happy makes me happy today was a fun-filled day of going to a theme park together with the boys and yeonjun hates to be that person but he most certainly will be. throughout the whole day, he noticed how soobin’s been on cloud nine. regardless of what ride he’s on, what food he’s eating, what attractions you’re seeing; none of it matters. all that matters is the smile on your face that automatically makes the corner of his lips tug up; it’s inevitable. like an unforeseen force that makes soobin feel like all is right in the world, everything is exactly as where it should be.

even now when all of you were bundled up in a souvenir shop and beomgyu’s putting on questionable headbands on you that elicit the sound of your laughter that rings like music to soobin’s ears. from a distance as yeonjun stands with soobin, he nudges the latter by the shoulder. it’s like he’s snapped soobin out of his daze, glancing to the older boy with a huh? “wipe your mouth. you’re drooling.” yeonjun snorts, eyes pointing to soobin’s lips.

soobin has this sheepish smile on his face, covering his mouth, but then his eyes trail back to the sight of you laughing with beomgyu. soon after, your eyes are searching for soobin to show him your funny ensemble and it makes him smile so wide that it’s useless for him to cover his own mouth.

“disgusting.” yeonjun scoffs a laugh, but his actions prove otherwise when he slings an arm around soobin’s shoulder to drag him to reunite with you. 

tl;dr: soobin’s a quiet and attentive lover, so it’s no surprise that he gets joy out of seeing you being happy. he finds himself being loud and chaotic with you sometimes, but in his natural habitat of being a quiet person, he already feels so much happiness just by seeing you being happy.

[🦊] yeonjun / dancing in the rain normally, yeonjun was level-headed enough for almost anything in the world. except you. you were the only exception that allowed his mind to go off the rails every once in a while. when you two got caught in the rain on your way back from the convenient store in the middle of the night, instead of rushing for shade, yeonjun boldly stands on the sidewalk and holds his hand out to you.

“may i have this dance, my lovely?!” he raises his voice to reach you past the rain making its way to divide the pair of you. his glasses were all fogged up, droplets of water pitter-pattering its way to drench his clothes and yours combined... but it wasn’t enough to drown the bright smile on his handsome face. “what if we fall sick?!” you yell back, yet, your body betrays you when your hand already reaches out to slip into his own; the contact of your skin in his already makes his cheshire grin appear as he pulls you to his chest.

“we’ll have more time together, then.” he starts by gripping onto your hands to place them onto his shoulders for you to hold, then with both of his hands on your waist, he sways you to the non-existent music playing in his mind... when in reality, it was the beautiful sounds of your laughter with the rain tapping on the ground.

tl;dr: yeonjun’s about having a grand gesture once in a while that definitely stems in your memories for plenty of days to come. he doesn’t shy away from it and instead embraces it wholeheartedly, even if it may seem silly at the moment. but he knows that it’s memories like these that make you two smile fondly during your time apart and even chuckle about it when you’re next to each other.

[🐯] beomgyu / tossing rocks at your window it was late into the night and any rational person would be asleep but... choi beomgyu wouldn’t be choi beomgyu if he wasn’t standing outside your window tossing rocks to get your attention. initially, it scared you thinking it was an intruder but when you took a peek, you recognise that smile anywhere.

you lean up to the window, opening it before he has a chance to throw another rock at your direction. his arm is up mid-air, now caught red-handed but it seems like he wants to get caught as he waves at you.

"hello there, gorgeous!”

“are you insane?!” you half-yell, well-aware that your voice wouldn’t echo as much as his has considering how his voice bounces off the quietness in the streets. “what’re you doing here?” you ask softly, so soft that he barely catches it but he does; he always does. he drops all the rocks and grins up to you, hands now in his pockets as he rocks on the balls of his feet, “i missed you, of course! so i came by.”

“at two in the morning? choi beomgyu, you need to get some rest!”

“i’ll rest with you!” he offers, brows raised, full smile on display that the moon seems to cast a glow on him... making it irresistible to reject. “please?” he starts to pout, pulling out his best puppy eyes. he gapes, mouth hanging open with your name clogging his throat when you close the window and the curtains on him. his nerves are on fire but then he hears the door opening and you’re just within sprinting distance for him to crush you in his arms.

tl;dr: beomgyu’s a little reckless sometimes but he comes from a good place with the purest of intentions. he doesn’t shy away to show you what he wants. so when he misses you at the odd hours into the night, what does he do? show up at your door, of course. is it rational? not all the time but sometimes, love doesn’t make you think whether it’s rational, it makes you feel like it is. as long as it isn’t life-threatening, well, it's more than okay.

[🐿] taehyun / sofa > bed there are nights when taehyun decides to come home to you instead of the dorm. nights where he longs to be in your presence, even if he knows he has to leave in the morning... it was all worth it, to him. he texted you not to wait up for him but his heart swells when he sees you asleep on the sofa, phone in your hand with the glow of the television illuminating your features.

he quietly makes his way in, discarding his bag and is quick to prepare himself for bed. except, the bed is the sofa where you are. after ten minutes, he’s dressed in a t-shirt and a pair of boxers, making his way to the living room to switch off the television and peel your phone from your hand to set it on the table. 

he scoots onto the sofa with you, curling you in his arms and his heart skips a beat with the way your arms already clutch onto him, face buried to his chest as you move to the back of the sofa to grant him more space to join you.

“hi there, pretty,” he murmurs into your ear softly, kissing the side of your head as you grunt to a wake, yet sleep still weighs heavy in your system. “what time is it?” you mumble to his neck as you shift up, pressing your face there and he sighs, curling his arms around you tighter as his eyes flutter shut, “late. but we can sleep now.”

“don’t wanna move to the bed?” you ask, even though the answer is clear when you tangle your legs with him, arms hooking around him like a lifebuoy you drag into your stream of unconsciousness. he shakes his head and kisses the top of your head as he curls into you, “no. let’s sleep here.”

tl;dr: there’s something pleasant in being romantic in the mundanity of life and that’s one of the things that taehyun appreciates and does so well. he doesn’t express himself too well with words but you don’t feel any less loved with the way he shows how much he wants to be with you. that just so happens to be sleeping on the sofa with you at 3 a.m. even though there’s a bed big enough for you two to sleep in; wanting to be as close as possible.

[🐧] kai / kiss me, if you dare. kai being shy was a combination the boys truly enjoy seeing especially with the way his cheeks tint with pink and his naturally confident demeanour crumbles within seconds of being around you. sure, you two had been dating for a while now but they found it so refreshing and pure for kai to be so deeply infatuated with you as if you two had only been together for weeks compared to the months building up to your history.

another game night, a game of truth or dare. secrets being revealed, past histories surfacing and a dare being made to your face to kiss huening kai right now or put your foot in the toilet. it was a challenge and you knew it; moments of intimacy of you and kai were revealed as far as shamelessly cuddling and being cute with one another but nothing borderline inappropriate. 

kai should’ve known that knowing look in your eyes when you don’t seem fazed by beomgyu’s dare, leaning up from your seat, reaching across the coffee table where all of you were huddled against to grab kai by the collar. he lets out a soft squeak just as you yank him up, lips meeting one another. if it wasn’t for the crazy howling and shouts from the boys, they could’ve heard the way kai was internally screaming.

it’s not like you haven’t kissed kai before (plenty, plenty of countless times, in fact) but when you pull away and smile at him, kai swears that it feels like the first time you’ve kissed him.

“great, we broke him.” taehyun scoffs a laugh when you let go of kai and the boy is now staring at you from across the table in a daze.

“way to go, beoms. we lost the connection of huening kai.” yeonjun smacks beomgyu’s arm, all of them now ringing with laughter including yourself as kai has this shy grin on his face, shamelessly asking: “can you do that again?”

“oh god. eat each other’s faces later, you sinners!” soobin groans, proceeding to spin the bottle to keep the game going.

tl;dr: kai was shy by nature but he’s bold with his advances once he has the confidence to do so but... that doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate his partner taking charge once in a while. he can get uncomfortable having the spotlight on him so when you take charge and aren’t afraid to show affection to him in front of others... you’ve officially won his heart in this life and the next.

[kyleoreillylover]

Always Take Care of You

Sami Zayn x Fem!Black!Reader x Kevin Owens

After a pretty dull weekend (Nothing too special, just you, Kevin and Sami main-eventing WrestleMania, no big deal), your boys want to take care of you.

Word count: 2,303

tagged: @southerngirl41 @venusesworld @jeysbae @reci1996 @tbonesteakwithasideofmashngrav @hope4more @selena-tyler-564 @saintaquarius @whatdoeseverybodywant @raya-hunter01 @afterdarkprincess

A/N: Zowens brainrot at the moment. That's it. This can be read as platonic or romantic, it is up to you! inspired by a zowens fanfic I read<3

Everything felt like too much yet not enough at the same time. The flashing lights of the cameras were blinding, the cacophony of voices echoing throughout Wrestlemania weekend like a relentless drumbeat.

But none of those could compare to the electricity that surged through your veins as you walked inside your hotel room, Kevin and Sami following behind you, your new Raw Women's Championship shimmering in your hands.

"I've never went inside her hotel room, we're best friends but there are some things that are just sacred," Kevin joked to an interviewer earlier that day, and you had nudged him with a smile, knowing that his jest was a cover for the genuine bond you shared. But he would follow you anywhere if it meant he could share in your success.

And as you carefully set all your titles onto the richly furnished dresser (now 5!!), your boys watched the glimmer in your eyes as the you stared at your Raw Women's Championship. The golden plate reflected the ambient glow of the room, and your face seemed to glow as well, and Sami and Kevin's hearts swelled with pride.

You had done the same with them yesterday when you had stood by them when they won the Tag Titles from Jimmy and Jey the previous night, cheering them on with unwavering support. Now, it was your moment, your time to revel in the glory you had rightfully earned.

"We did this." You whispered.

"You did this." Sami corrected, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. His voice was soft, but his words carried the weight of their meaning.

You turned to face them, the smile on your face widening. "No, we did this," you insisted, your eyes meeting each of theirs.

Kevin gently placed a hand on your shoulder, his blue eyes reflecting the pride and camaraderie that flowed between the three of you. "We did this, we fought for this together, and now we get to celebrate together." he said, his voice gruff with emotion. "This isn't just your victory, it's ours."

You breathed out, feeling the warmth of their friendship envelop you like a comforting blanket. "Ours."

Then you let out a giggle, and the tension that had been building up in the room suddenly dissipated, replaced by your shared laughter. It was a moment of pure joy, a moment where the pressures of the wrestling world melted away, leaving only the bonds of friendship and the thrill of victory.

"I can't believe we actually pulled it off," Sami chimed in, his voice filled with disbelief and elation.

"I can't believe Adam actually gave me the main event over Roman," Your voice was filled with awe and disbelief. "I can't believe he hates him that much that he would give me the spot over him," You chuckled, shaking your head in wonder. "I feel bad for Cody, but it ain't my fault that I'm just that good," You added with a playful smirk.

Kevin let out a hearty laugh, clapping you on the back. "You earned every bit of this spotlight, and Roman can take a backseat for once." Kevin wasn't gonna let you diminish everything you did.

Sami nodded along with a soft grin, his eyes shimmering with pride. "You've worked so hard for this moment, and no one deserves it more than you."

As the adrenaline of the victory began to subside, a sense of contentment settled over the room. For a moment, there were no rivalries, no feuds, just three friends that made their way from the Indies basking in the glow of their shared success.

"Now go shower, you stink of victory!" Kevin interrupted with a playful shove, breaking the momentary solemnity.

Typical Kevin. It seemed like he was on a sugar rush from stealing all your snickers bars from the press conference, and you knew that you were gonna have to monitor his candy intake if you wanted to get any sleep tonight.

You chuckled, swatting at him half-heartedly. "Hey, I earned this stench," you retorted, a mischievous glint in your eyes.

Sami smirked, leaning against the dresser. "Yeah, but the rest of us don't have to suffer through it," he teased, earning himself a mock glare from you.

You rolled your eyes, but the smile never left your face. "Fine, fine," you relented, giving them both a playful glare before disappearing into the bathroom, the sound of running water soon filling the room.

When you came out of the shower, a bonnet wrapped around your head and soft robe draped over your shoulders, you found Kevin and Sami sprawled out on the plush hotel bed, talking amongst themselves.

You plopped down onto the bed beside them, the softness of the mattress a welcome relief after the long day of wrestling and celebrations. You immediately cuddled into Sami, making him smile and wrap an arm around you, while Kevin made room for you with a playful shove but then he pulled you both into a tight embrace, sandwiching you between him and Sami.

"I'm tired. So, so tired." You mumbled into the cozy embrace of both men, feeling the exhaustion from the day's events finally catching up to you.

Kevin let out a sympathetic chuckle. "Well, you did just win the Raw Women's Championship in the main event of WrestleMania, I think being tired is allowed," he remarked with a teasing tone, though his eyes betrayed a genuine fondness for you.

"I thought all that chocolate you ate was supposed to give you energy," Sami added with a smirk, earning a playful smack on the arm from you.

"Kevin stole all the chocolate, remember?" you shot back, sticking out your tongue at Kevin who grinned sheepishly in response.

You winced slightly as you shifted to get more comfortable, the soreness from the match still lingering in your muscles. Sami noticed and reached over to grab a nearby pillow, gently placing it behind your back for added support.

"Better?" he asked with a warm smile.

You nodded gratefully, sinking deeper into the embrace of your friends. "Much better, thanks," you replied, feeling the tension easing from your muscles as you settled in.

"How much does it hurt?" Kevin asked, his voice soft with concern as he traced your scar.

You winced again, the memory of the stinging pain flooding back to you. "Bianca whipped her braid into my ribs, how do you think my side feels?" You answered with a playful grin, trying to lighten the mood.

"I think I blacked out when she hit me with it," You added with a chuckle, though the pain was still very real.

You leaned into Kevin's touch when he traced your scar, the warmth of his hand providing a comforting reassurance. "It's not too bad," you replied, though you couldn't deny the lingering ache in your side.

Sami's expression softened with empathy. "Well, you bruised her eye, so I'd say it's a fair trade," he quipped, trying to inject some humor into the situation.

"Yeah, because me punching her equals instant karma," you replied with a laugh, closing your eyes when Kevin and Sami chuckled, the sound a soothing melody in the quiet of the hotel room.

For a moment, the three of you simply existed in the space, the weight of the day's events mingling with the warmth of friendship. Despite the pain and exhaustion, being surrounded by Kevin and Sami made everything feel bearable.

You hummed when you felt Sami's hands gently massaging your shoulders, the tension gradually melting away under his skilled touch. "You're tired too, you don't have to—"

"I want to," Sami interrupted softly, his voice filled with sincerity. "You've carried us through so much, it's the least I can do to help you relax."

You smiled gratefully, feeling a rush of warmth spread through your chest at Sami's words. You wanted to protest, but Sami's hand working out the knots on your shoulders felt too good to resist. Instead, you let out a contented sigh, allowing yourself to fully surrender to the moment.

"Thank you." You murmured softly, your voice barely above a whisper as you leaned into Sami's touch. "Both of you, thank you."

Kevin reached over to squeeze your hand, his eyes reflecting the depth of his affection for you. "For what? You're the one that won the title tonight. You're the reason we're all here," he said sincerely, his voice warm with admiration.

You shook your head, a soft smile playing on your lips. "No, the reason we're all here is because you two bozos are the best friends a person could ask for," You said, your voice filled with genuine gratitude. "20 years of laughter, tears, victories, and defeats. You've been there for me through it all, and I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world."

Kevin chuckled, a hint of emotion in his voice. "Bozos, huh? Well, I guess we'll take that as a compliment," he replied with a playful grin, squeezing your hand in return.

Sami nodded in agreement, his eyes shining with affection. "Yeah, wouldn't want to be anyone else's bozos," he said, his voice tinged with fondness.

"I just spilled my heart out to you and the only thing you guys hear is "bozos," you finished, pretending to pout, though the playful twinkle in your eyes gave away your true feelings.

Kevin and Sami burst into laughter, the sound filling the room with warmth and light. You would never get tired of hearing the sound of their laughter and being the cause of it. You loved making them happy, being the cause of their grins and overall happiness. You just loved them in general...

"I guess we're just used to your insults by now," Kevin quipped, brining you out of your thoughts, earning himself a playful swat from you.

"You love it," you retorted with a grin, feeling a sense of contentment settle over you like a comforting blanket.Sami wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into a tight hug. "We do," he agreed, his voice filled with sincerity. "We love you, champ."

You leaned into the embrace, feeling the weight of the day's events finally catching up to you. But in that moment, surrounded by the warmth and laughter of your friends, you knew that everything was going to be okay.

"I love you both too." You mumbled into the embrace, feeling a surge of gratitude and love wash over you. It was moments like these, the quiet ones filled with shared laughter and heartfelt sentiments, that made all the struggles and sacrifices worth it.

You laid down on the bed, sandwiched between Kevin and Sami, feeling their warmth enveloping you like a protective cocoon. Sami continued to massage your shoulders, his touch gentle and soothing, while Kevin rested his head on your shoulder, his breath warm against your neck. It was a simple moment of closeness, but it was everything you needed after the whirlwind of WrestleMania weekend.

"Remind me to owe you for massaging me like this," you murmured with a contented sigh, feeling the tension in your muscles slowly dissipating under Sami's skilled touch.

Sami sighed contentedly, his fingers working magic on your shoulders. "Consider it payment for all those times you've had our backs in and out of the ring," he replied softly, his voice warm with affection.

Kevin chuckled, his breath tickling your neck. "Oh, don't worry, I'll make sure to collect on that debt if he's too nice not too," he teased, though there was a genuine warmth in his voice.

As the laughter faded into comfortable silence, you closed your eyes, allowing yourself to fully bask in the warmth and love of your friends. In that moment, surrounded by the people who had been with you through thick and thin, you felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude and peace wash over you.

WrestleMania weekend had been a whirlwind of emotions, but as you lay there with Kevin and Sami by your side, you knew that no victory or championship could ever compare to the bond you shared with them.

"Go to sleep, champ," Kevin murmured, his voice soft with affection.

"Can we get Waffle House when we wake up?" You groggily asked, earning a playful groan from Kevin and a wide smile from Sami.

"Of course we can, as long as you promise not to order everything on the menu this time," Sami replied with a laugh, his voice filled with fondness.

You grinned, feeling the exhaustion finally catching up to you as you snuggled deeper into the embrace of your friends. "I won't," you mumbled sleepily, feeling the comforting weight of sleep beginning to pull you under.

"Whatever you want. Whatever makes you happy, we'll make it happen," Kevin said softly, his voice filled with sincerity.

With those words echoing in your mind, you let yourself drift off into a peaceful slumber, surrounded by the warmth and love of your two best friends.

Sami kissed the top of your head gently, his touch light and filled with affection. "Goodnight, champ," he whispered, his voice barely above a whisper. His hands squeezed Kevin's as a silent kiss in the night as well.

Kevin followed suit, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "Sweet dreams," he murmured, his voice warm with love.

There had been so much noise over the past few days — press, fans, interviews, and the roar of the crowd. You cherished that, loved the connection with the fans, the love the three of you had been getting.

But in that moment, in the quiet intimacy of the hotel room, where all you could hear was the steady rhythm of your friends' breathing, a comforting lullaby that carried you into a deep and restful sleep, was what you truly wanted.

And that was worth more than any championship title or victory in the ring.

[stick-ball]

I was asked to write some of my sad headcanons on Jean and Kevin's relationship by @thelittlelostgraycat so here we go:

The first thing that comes to mind when I think about this dynamic is this really silly scenario. Doing grocery shopping, you have this great idea. You're going to make crepes for breakfast the next day. It's the weekend after a really long week, and you're feeling like having something nice, you know. So you stock up on all the ingredients. But then when it comes to it you stayed up late that night, binging your currently favourite series, and you get up later than usual and you're not really in the mood to stand in front of the pan for half an hour before you get to eat something. So, dismayed or not, you kill off the hunger with something quick and easy and get on with the day's plans. Then the next week comes and since you work long hours obviously you don't have the time for it either. By the time you remember, you really wanted to eat pancakes some time has passed. But you're excited again because that's what we are like with the things we love. The joy is always there even when we aren't doing those things. So you go take the pan out, the flour and bowl. You open the fridge and see you only have one egg left. That's a problem. You forgot to stock up, but well. It's still possible to make pancakes with one egg. You'll just have thinner batter. Then you get lit the milk and here's the problem, it expired. The dismay is pretty monumental for such a small tragedy. You taste it, just to make sure, and yeah, it's terrible you feel like retching. And the thing is, you could still make the pancakes. You could run to the store, but it was never really about being hungry. It was about the sentiment, and now you remember how if you made them in the first place, this wouldn't happen, and you wasted a whole carton of milk on a fancy you couldn't even commit to.

And that's how I see Kevin and Jean. It's love and it's sentiment and it's something really deep. But when push comes to shove it's always too little, too late. Too little words said, an apology wasted on a cold argument. Too much hassle, too much risk, too much grief if it goes wrong. Let's leave things as they are. It's not good but it'd stable. Too little time, between Riko and training and the dreams of freedom and illusions of grandour and the pain, all that pain and gore. It all ends up coming first.

But there's love, and I don't necessarily mean it as romantic love, although it could be. There's love, there's a whole language built around it. It's words of affirmation in a language no one else can understand. It's small tokens of care, small enough not to be put to an end by someone else, but meaningful enough to make the heart soar like they can touch the blue sky above the tomb they grew up in. It's stolen moments of peace, because both their hearts are for once free of worry when it's just the two of them together - noone there to harm them, noone to make them watch as the other suffers. It's time spent practising, not because they aren't good enough, but because when it's them they can freely love the sport they play. It's a shoulder to lean on and a body that keeps you warm, and that will never take more what you offer it.

But it's always too little and too late to grow into something defined. It's a safe chrysalis that makes the caterpillar endure, but there's no surety, no promises. As much as the chrysalis helps, the caterpillar transform, thr butterfly has to break out of it to fly. So no, it's not enough to last.

They care deeply for each other, but Kevin leaves Jean in the Nest. And Jean could hate him, could resent him, but he doesn't - because he understands when you have a chance you need to take it because life is cruel and it doesn't smile at you twice. He understands that he would probably do the same. It still hurts.

I think Kevin doesn't have many regrets bigger than leaving Jean behind. He still does it, though. But if he didn't, the story wouldn't happen. If he didn't, the whole chain reaction would not be set in motion, so he can't fix it, but he can be better from there on. He starts by getting Jean to a place as far from the Nest as humanly possible. In the hands of the person he holds in the highest esteem.

And that's fear, but that's also love.

Jean's new Jersey number is a 29 for both Kevin and Renee. So I think he understands, I think he doesn't hold a grudge. He starts to pick up his phone and sometimes even calls him himself, even if to trashtalk the team he knows Kevin is also watching play back in his dorm in Palmetto right now.

So they couldn't commit to it then, when there was nothing to lean on. But would it really be too little too late?

[dreamyzhou]

31st Alternate Universe by Elinor

To: @sanaxo-o who accompanied me since I opened this account, @from-izzy who sees the worth in me, and finally @quaissants who i can talk to almost about anything and the rest of @deoboyznet who I just realized helped me find joy in writing again. Seeing you all thrive makes me want to soar along with you.

"31st Alternate Universe" is an upcoming non-idol AU series filled with fluff and angsts for the members of TBZ. Below are the fic ideas for each member. Let me know in my ask box of you want a tag for one of them!

Lee Sangyeon: It was another day in the year of 2085. When your barista coworker crush Sangyeon was framed to diffuse a deadly gas in the train you took to go home, nobody was alive as the train stopped at Station 11. Yet, surveillance camera showed a girl and Sangyeon leaving the train.

Bae Jacob: A comet was approaching. People were panicking here and there, performing their own chaos. So did Jacob by trying to find a safe bunker or anywhere to survive with you. Jacob found the train to the last bunker 15 minutes prior to the predicted time of impact… but it only lets 1 more person to go in.

Kim Younghoon: You didn't like small dogs, but when a poodle with a tagged collar named Bori slept in front of your gate cold and lost, you took her in and let her sleep with you. After missing posters were spread around the neighborhood, you thought the poodle was ready to go home. Not until she barked to her own owner, Younghoon, and bit him. He then suggested to visit Bori everyday to your house until Bori goes home, but now that she did, why did Younghoon felt like he was more at home with you than Bori was?

Lee Hyunjae: When Eric said he will sit in Chair 16 in Chemistry, he knew you were about to come early to pull it before he gets to sit. And when you did, you realized it was a set up. "Lemme guess, you're trying to get onto my pants, so some friend set you up to pull my chair?" It's the way, you said "not exactly" with a tomato face that made him think you could be different.

Lee Juyeon: You and Juyeon had to make a couple dance project. In your head, you asked the leader of your crew to set him up with you. In his head, the moment you choreographed suggestive moves, confirmed your feelings for him since he usually could tell when a girl had a crush on him. However, something about the way you tried to earn his trust and love was different. None of the girls who liked him even knew he loved dancing. It scared him a little… but excited him enough that he stayed to know more.

Moon Kevin: Kevin loved being an artist. What he hates is not being able to be one for a living. One day, you came up to him in front of an ice cream truck. You told him you know his works and you recognize the meaning. On the other hand, Kevin was too stunned to remember to ask for your phone number. As soon as her got a chance to exhibit his art, he submitted his artworks so that only you can get the hints.

Choi Chanhee: Both of your parents are enemies. Your mother is a scientist who ditched her family for a theory, his mother is a mathemathician who is distant with her own family for her math theory to prove your mom's invalid. As you go to the same school, both of you gain each of your mother's loves in exchange that you both fight in an uneccesary academic battle. One day, you both realize that you didn't want any of this, and the only way to heal your wounds is to love each other.

Ji Changmin: Sci-Fi AU where humans are no longer the dominant species anymore. As clans of humans hide in futuristic domes that disguises as gigantic rocks, humans who reached adult age have to prove their worth by searching for food.  You were just doing so by trying to find spices and animals. What you didn't know is you took another clan's food by mistake. . and the only one from that clan who would help you escape was a guy named Changmin.

Ju Haknyeon: Haknyeon and you were childhood friends, but Haknyeon befriended people who peer-pressured him into not treating girls right, and sadly it included you. One day, you cried at the way he treated you, but Haknyeon didn't know why hurting you hurt him more than it should.

Kim Sunwoo: You didn't know the spinning vision you see every day is a symptom of a life-threatening disease. So when there was a mail from the hospital to your house, Sunwoo opened it first and put it in the trash. That's how 15 minutes later, he got down on one knee.

Sohn Eric: Eric was frustrated when he felt like he wasn't talented enough to make you, his crush, impressed. But what he didn't know is that you listen to a soundcloud account with @/youngjae_sohn as their username.

All will be released before July (Not a promise, just in case I can't keep it)

Toodles,

Ellie

[effervescentdragon]

you get a part of redredred, the 2022 season sebchal that runs parallel to niamh's valewis. it follows the 2022 season and has flashbacks. its around 50k or more and dont think i'll ever finish it because it hurts, but who knows. 💜

Bahrain 2022

Seb wakes up on the couch and groans in discomfort. No matter how persistently he’d searched for the most comfortable couch out there, he still woke up hurting. It’s the age, not the couch, he thinks and sighs. Then he remembers yesterday.

A grin overtakes his face. Charles won.

Charles won, and Seb couldn’t help himself. He’d almost screamed when Charles was informed by Xavi that Max had engine problems, and hearing Charles scream and laugh in joy was… wonderful.

I’m not the last Ferrari GP winner, he thinks, and the thought doesn’t even hurt. Charles is, he thinks, and grabs his phone with a smile.

Two (2) new messages.

He’d congratulated only two people on the grid yesterday, because he couldn’t not. He was too tired to even contemplate picking up the call from Lance, or Lawrence, and he wanted to talk to Mick on the phone sometime today, because he knows that he would’ve taken finishing just out of the points very hard. He is still smiling as he opens the first message.

From: Charles

Please don’t hate me. Wish you were here.

His smile falls instantly.

“Fuck.”

Seb stares at the words on the screen. Please don’t hate me. Fuck. As if he would hate Charles, God. As if he could, for fucks’ sake. His head hurts. His fucking heart hurts.

“What have I done to you,” he mutters to himself, getting up to get some coffee. He knows he needs to eat, but he can’t stomach anything at the moment. He does take a glass of water and the coffee, and goes back to the couch.

One (1) new message.

“Fuck it,” he repeats. He needs to talk to someone. “Might as well.”

From: Lewis

Hey man, how are you? And thanks, I rly wasn't expecting it. It was a bouncy ride, a bit too bouncy if I'm being honest

Their chat history is open, the congratulatory message for the podium Seb had sent him the night before the last interaction they've had.

Seb hesitates for just a second, and then starts typing.

To: Lewis

Glad you made it through. I'm alright, feeling a bit better. Still tired though. How was Toto at the party? :)

From: Lewis

Susie was there, so you can imagine :) I think he wants to cut off even more parts from the car. He was pretty happy that ur home team had a bad day tho :)

Seb can't help but chuckle at that. The animosity between Christian and Toto always went deep, but it reached new heights in the last season. Seb gets it, and privately he thinks Toto is right about most things, but there is still a part of him that's probably always going to be uncomfortable about bad-mouthing Christian, even though the man has changed much throughout the years.

The fact that Lewis can tease him about Red Bull is a good sign, though. He still refuses to address them by name, which is a bit petty in Seb's opinion. Then again, Seb himself is far from being immune to pettiness.

To: Lewis

I know you don't mean Ferrari, because they wiped the floor with you :)

He regrets the message as soon as he sends it, especially when the answer comes back instantly.

From: Lewis

Yeah, Carlos was so good, man, easily one of his best drives. Your boy was on fire tho. The way he defended, damn. Did you see it?

Seb hates the way his pulse quickens. He hates the way Lewis' words make him feel. He shouldn't be feeling like this, because. Well. Because nothing and no one in Bahrain is his. Lewis' message is calculated to provoke him, but Seb doesn't mind it that much. He knows what his friend is doing - giving him a push and an out at the same time. It's on Seb to take it or leave it.

To: Lewis

Yeah, I watched the race. Wanted to see what the cars could do, and some of it was surprising. Good for Kevin and Mick :)

He pauses. He could leave it at that, and Lewis would accept it. They don't have to talk about it anymore. He can just leave it all at that.

Seb can't help himself. He never was one for avoidance; at least not with Lewis. Maybe only with Lewis.

To: Lewis

He's not my boy.

The reply is instantaneous.

From: Lewis

Not for lack of trying on his part

From: Lewis

Did you at least congratulate him?

Seb closes his eyes for a moment, covers them with his hand. He wants not to have this conversation. He wants a Jäger shot. He wants -

It doesn't matter what he wants. A lot of things don't matter, even though he wants them to. A lot of things matter, even though he tries to pretend they are as unimportant as possible.

Lewis could always see through him, though. Seb owes him honesty, and cares for him too much to try to mislead him; the only person he lies to regularly is himself, really. He appreciates Lewis too much to lie to him in any way. They’ve been through everything, and they’ve faced it all more or less together, and there was no reason anymore to keep up pretenses, when they knew one another inside and out in both the best and worst ways.

He knows why Lewis texted him, and he can't help but smile. Lewis always saw too much with those eyes of his, and he knew Seb needs the push.

To: Lewis

He asked me not to hate him.

To: Lewis

As if I ever could.

The reply is slow to come, or it just seems that way. Seb stares at his phone the whole time after sending the message, his heart in his throat. All the reasons for his avoidance of the topic come to mind, and he tries to take a deep breath to calm himself. He opens Lewis' message.

All that he manages to do is choke on air and almost cough out his lungs when Lewis' messages come in one after the other.

From: Lewis

I asked him if he wanted to be lifted in the air. He said, and I had to google this to write it right jsyk, "Nicht jetzt, danke". His pronunciation is terrible tho, worse than mine

From: Lewis

I think he missed you on the podium

From: Lewis

I think he misses you a lot

I miss him too, Seb thinks. I miss him so much, but it doesn't matter. It's better this way, Seb thinks. "Il Predestinato," he whispers to himself. He sighs and types.

To: Lewis

It's better like this.

Lewis' reply is angry, and Seb should have maybe expected it, but it still takes him aback.

From: Lewis

For fucking who, Seb?

Sebastian has committed himself to this course of action, or, well, inaction, and he will stick to it. He has to.

To: Lewis

For him. He has the car now, and his whole destiny. He is older, and more experienced, and he isn't impatient any more.

He hesitates, then adds on the phrase he's been repeating to himself for the past two years at least.

To: Lewis

He doesn't need me. Not anymore.

From: Lewis

Is that what you tell yourself so you can sleep easier?

From: Lewis

You were always bad at lying, man, but this is just pathetic

Fuck, Seb thinks. Lewis always sees too much, and this time he's not backing off for some reason. "Fuck you," he says out loud to himself so he doesn't say it to Lewis in a fit of anger that's bubbling under his skin, because Lewis is right. Seb loves him and hates him for it equally.

Lewis is one of Sebastian's best friends on the grid, and the one who understands him the best in some ways. It wasn't always like that, but after 2016, many things have changed. Nico left, and Seb didn't think about that anymore, like he didn't think about many things anymore. In another life, where they weren't racing drivers and each others biggest competition for a whole decade, and where they met at a later point in life, and where there was no Nico and no Mark to shape them into who they were when the time was right, Seb would've been in love with Lewis, and vice versa. Maybe he is a bit in love with him anyways, because honestly, who isn't? Lewis is amazing, and kind, and one of the strongest people Seb knows, and he respects him too much as a person and a competitor, and loves him too much to push for something that just would not work. Not the way they are, and not with their history, and especially not in this world where both Valtteri Bottas and Charles Leclerc exist.

Because no matter how much Seb loves Lewis for pushing him, a part of him is angry, because Lewis is being such a hypocrite right now. He is right about Sebastian, but he is still being a hypocrite, and Seb is too tired and hurting a bit too much to let him get away with it.

To: Lewis

How's Valtteri?

He gets up and refills his coffee as he waits to see what Lewis will say.

From: Lewis

There's the bastard I know

From: Lewis

He's fine. Didn't ask me if i hated him, bcs I'm a normal person who still speaks to his former teammate and friend normally

To: Lewis

So you normally took him up on that normal coffee date?

From: Lewis

Fuck you

To: Lewis

Once wasn't enough for you? :)

Seb couldn't resist reminding Lewis of the one and only time they slept together in 2016 occasionally. It wasn't something either of them dwelled on needlessly, even though it was definitely some of the best sex Seb's ever had. It was fun, and amazing, and heart-breaking, and just an inch shy of too much at the same time, and neither of them ever regretted it. They did both agree the next morning not to repeat it, because the bruises they left on each other were just a bit too painful, and the way they looked at each other as they were fucking was just a bit too raw, and for the whole time their thoughts were just a bit too focused on the men who were their teammates, and they both knew it. Neither of them resented the other for it, and that fundamental understanding that it was just not the right time for them and it never would be may be the reason why they became and stayed such good friends.

From: Lewis

It was at least two times that night, and stop changing the subject :)

To: Lewis

I'm really not. It's the same thing.

From: Lewis

I know

From: Lewis

Man, where did all our bravery go?

To: Lewis

We left it on track sometime in late 2010's :)

From: Lewis

You might be right there

From: Lewis

Fuck we're old

Seb chuckles, because Lewis is both right and wrong. Being on top of the world in your early twenties screwed them both up in some fundamental way, and with both of them being overachievers and determined to win, their perception of the world and their age was impossibly skewered. Seb knows he is going to have to re-evaluate what he wants to do in his life again really soon, but that was a conversation for another time, and to be made in person. Another text from Lewis pulls him out of his thoughts.

From: Lewis

What will you do now?

Seb sighs for god-knows which time and scratches his beard. He should shave soon; he has that video-conference with Aston Martin on Wednesday, and he should look less like a hobo and more like a professional who has his life together. I should look less like a lovesick fool, he thinks and then rolls his eyes at his own propensity for dramatics.

To: Lewis

I have no idea. You?

Lewis' reply makes Seb bark out a laugh.

From: Lewis

Get a bloody muffin. Feelings are exhausting

To: Lewis

Yeah. Maybe we shouldn't talk about them then :)

Lewis doesn't reply, and Seb takes that as a sign that his friend is as tired as he is of the emotional turmoil they've both been going through. It's probably for the best. Seb needs to sleep some more, his body rebelling against even the little exertion he's had today.

He puts his phone on the table and lays on the couch. Maybe the universe will be merciful to him today, and he won't dream of heart-breaking eyes and French-accented voice speaking to him in terrible German.

[omnidemidisaster]

Do you have any more spooky month Kevin x Reader headcanons? Sfw boyfriend headcanons or nsfw?

Him hees

( NSFW at end )

Kevin dating HCS

SFW

He is quite panicky in the relationship

Like he always believes something might go wrong

He tries not to think so much, but he just wants the best outcome and ends up thinking the worst possibilities

He isn't the most romantic by definition, but he does his own romantic gestures to show his love

Like leaving some candy he bought for you at your door or kitchen counter, coming over whenever you're bored, hell he'll even let you hang out in the backroom of the store as long as you don't get caught if you really wanted to

He never 100% give or receives. He will always give and take. He doesn't want to come across as lazy or overbearing, so he will let you take control in the relationship every once in a while

That goes for cuddling too. He loves to hold you whenever you're sleeping. He adores that feeling of protecting you. But he will never say no to bring cuddled. He also adores the feeling of you holding him close and allowing him to be vulnerable

Now this isn't a hc, but something that the VA stated, but Kevin will always protect you whenever you're afraid or anxious. It doesn't matter how scared Kevin is, you are his priority, so you will come first

He is a bit of a hopeless romantic. Like before he started dating you, his mind will absolutely wander about a possible relationship with someone.

I suppose you made that dream come true!

He loves to kiss your cheek and forehead ( Especially if your shorter than him )

Now you bet that whenever the two of you are either on a date or just hanging out that he's just taken photos of you

Not in a creepy way, but in a way that captures the moments you both had together

He even posts them on his snapchat, going on and on about how much he loves you

Though an all time favorite photo of his is one where you both had a first Christmas together. You were in front of a very cheap dollar store tree with some gifts beside it. You both sat on the floor and started to open up gifts together.

Eventually your hands picked up a certain box. He quickly grabbed his phone and got ready to take a picture. He knew that that gift was particularly special ( What it had inside could be up to you ).

Once you opened it and realized what was in it, you began to cry from joy. He did take a few photos of how happy you were. And 2 of those photos are on his lock screen and home screen.

He doesn't like Christmas that much, but your smile and happiness is far more important to him :]

NSFW 🔞

Very fidgeting and anxious when you both had your first time together

Like boy gave himself a pep talk in the mirror...and was still freaking out

Though that freaking out didn't last too long

He just needed some buttons pushed ;]

I said this and ill say it again: He loves somnophilia

Though he is on the receiving end on it. Even if the two of you agreed with consent, he doesn't want to do anything to you while your asleep. Kissing? Sure. Maybe dry humping? Hes not opposed. But he's scared to actually hurt you or make you feel violated despite the explicit consent

Expect some rough stuff, especially after a long and horrible shift. He already likes to go fast and hard as is, so if he has a particularly bad day and your in the mood, just prepare yourself

Don't worry, boy will absolutely pamper and shower you with affection so you don't feel hurt or unsafe in any way

Home boy has praise and degrading kinks simultaneously. Like he'll praise you and degrade you in a single breath

And of course at the end he reassures you he doesn't mean anything he said...besides all the praising

He doesn't really like bondage. He hates the feeling of being restricted. Though if you want some light stuff like handcuffs or your hands tied up, he doesn't mind

The two of you came up with a safeword and he will always ask you what it is before doing anything

Not because he thinks your dumb, just wanting to make sure he doesn't hurt you and make you feel overwhelmed/overstimulated

If your a girl or have female parts, expect him to every once in a while ask you to peg him

He absolutely adores it and loves feeling submissive to you

Aftercare with this man...

He is so damn affectionate. He will make sure you're okay and feeling good, then help you clean up and clean up whatever surface the two of you did it on. By the end, he's cuddling you and kissing you while muttering praises

[kevinsbitch]

pt 1

pt 2

pt 3

pt 4 (finale):

Neil crouches beside Kevin. He doesn't say anything for endless minutes. Then, he jumps up and take a step backwards. Kevin thinks that Neil feels uncomfortable with him being so close. But what Neil says is completely different from what Kevin thinks.

"So, I'm not good enough for you, then?" Neil's voice is trembling.

"What?" Kevin looks up in incomprehension. He blinks stupidly and can't say a word more. It's him who isn't good enough. What is that dumb Josten talking about? Neil looks sad and slightly angry.

"You like me, Kevin, and you know I like you too. But, perhaps, I'm just not good enough for you. Sorry for being a disappointment, Kevin, but fuck you. I don't need you, you hear me? I already have—"

He can't finish his sentence because Andrew interrupts him with his sharp voice.

"Truth, Neil."

Neil flinches and speaks quieter.

"Okay," says Neil and looks straight in Kevins eyes, "Maybe I need you."

Kevin's gaze shifts from one man to another. Why is Andrew here? Why he wants Neil to tell him the truth? What truth?

"What do you want?" The only question Kevin can come up with.

"To be with us," Neil almost whispers.

"Okay. Back to normal, then?" Kevin tries to smile but he can't. Andrew steps closer to him.

"You don't get it, Kevin. Neil asks you to be with us, not just be back to normal."

"With... What? What do you mean...? What? You're kidding me, right? Stop it. You'll break me, Andrew." It sounds like a plea. Kevin's chest feels tight. He doesn't know why Andrew is being so cruel to him.

"Are you still sure about him, Neil?" asks Andrew, his voice is doubtful.

"Yes. Kevin, are you that stupid?"

"You're asking me to be with you, I get it. Isn't it cheating?" Kevin says after minutes of silence.

"You see someone offended here or what?"

"You don't even like me, Andrew. Why?"

Andrew buries his face in his hands and groans, "I hate you."

"That's what I'm talking about. You want to see me and him together and suffer from it? Or you just want to have a reason to kill me someday?"

"He doesn't hate you. Neither of us. He just like this word, I think," says Neil and Kevin doesn't look at him, but his voice sounds like he's smiling right now.

"He keeps telling me that," says Kevin, like Andrew isn't in this room with them.

"Yeah, me too. But I stopped believing him ages ago," Neil sounds joyful and Kevin doesn't know the reason of his joy.

Kevin knows that Andrew hates him. And he knew that since they first met. And it was safe to think about Andrew's hatred, because Kevin could hate him in return. It was the only thing he allowed himself to feel since that day.

If Andrew doesn't hate him, then...

You're not allowed, Kevin. Don't even think about it. You need to control yourself. Now Andrew is going to say that it's a joke. Just a cruel joke, and even if Kevin doesn't know why they treat him like that, he will forgive them. Perhaps he deserves something like that? Andrew interrupts this dangerous train of thoughts with his strict voice.

"Listen to me carefully, Kevin," Andrew comes close to him and Kevin can smell his perfume. He feels dizzy. "I'll give you one chance. You need to decide whether you want it or not. Just say no, and it'll stop everything. Just say it."

"You want me to say no?" Kevin asks, but he already has an answer.

"I just want your answer. Give it to me, but be honest with yourself."

"I want it more than anything," Kevin's heart is racing in his chest but he finally feels a great sense of relief. "I want to be with you. If you just let me, I'll be perfect for you, I'll do my best, I promise."

"Shut up. I don't want to see you even trying that," says Andrew, trying to sound irritated.

"Kevin, you already are," says Neil, when he holds his cold hands. "And Andrew really likes you," Neil whispers in his ear. "So am I."

Then Neil kisses him softly and Andrew sighs loudly. Everything feels perfect now.

The end.

(you can also find it on ao3)

[shutupheathersorryheatherr]

“Glad you’re here”

Summery: Kevin needs some comfort one day and you reassure him. a long chat right next to you is just what he knows he needed. thats great, but somehow it leads to him in your bed and your mouth on his. you know... cause you know... you really wanna make sure he knows his worth and how much you love every part of him. oops I guess approximately a 40 min read

a/n: idk what this is man. Tumblr wouldn't let me post a longer than like two sentence post and so it's a little late. I had a dream about something like this happening like months back and now it's finally come to life! or.... not really to life but life enough lol I told one of my moots on here about the dream and she said "that's perfect fic inspo" so here we are. at this point I can't remember if the smut part was in my dream but oh well I aint complaining. I don't know if this is any good cause I haven't written smut in a minute but pleas enjoy and let me know if y'all have any hard thots or future fic suggestions. (it was so exiting when I got my first request you have no idea I felt like real writer who people actually enjoy content from and not much could top that feeling ya know) I probably won't get to them for a month lmao but still id love to hear them!

warnings/info: cursing, Kevin had a bad week, comfort, reader and Kevin’s type of relationship is never specified in this fic if that’s makes sense, kissing, smut, low key body worship, like a little bit toward Kevin from reader, oral sex (reader receiving), also Kevin fingers reader, reader is afab when it comes to smut but is gn otherwise, mentions of having to go get a condom but no sex is described, think that’s it! misspelled words and incoherentness im sure, ill fix them soon, Pls lemme know if there’s anything these

THIS IS SMUT SO MINORS DNI AND FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD HAVE AN AGE INDICATOR IN YOUR BLOG SAYING YOURE NOT A MINOR SO I DONT HAVE TO BLOCK YOU! ID HATE TO BLOCK SOMEONE WHO DOESNT NEED TO BE BLOCKED thx

~this is simply a piece of fiction. my imagination onto "paper." this is in no way meant to be taken as an actual and real representation of anyone.~

••••••••••••••••••••

a familiar knock on your door brings you out of the daze you once were in. For once you weren’t doing anything. Comfort flowing through your veins as you relaxed. You weren’t expecting anyone…. You glance at your phone to see Kevin’s profile picture pop up. A candid photo you took of him while he was laughing at something or the other on a Ferris wheel when you two were just friends. The message simply said “hey it’s me” weirdly dry and weirdly simple coming from him. but your heart still leaped for joy out of you chest when you read it. Somehow more peacefulness coming over you as you walked to let him in, though you were scared something was wrong.

you swing open the front door, still halfway looking at your phone. I mean, if you had a cute picture of him that was at your disposal at all times in your phone, you'd be looking at it still too. it was one of those pictures were only you could see. something for your eyes only... that sentiment seemed to be a running theme in your relationship. not that you minded, though. you welcomed it. relished in the feeling of being so damn close to him.

you don't even get to let out a word before his arms are around you, his head is in your stomach, and his heavy breath his flattening out your shirts wrinkles. he's on his knees as first but when he gets up you stumble backward further into your place, shutting the door with your foot. he steps back, half to regain his composer he lost the second he saw you worried about him, and half because he realized he was probably too forward. he kicks off his shoes and before you know it you can hear little quiet sniffs coming from the man.

"you good?" you ask, even though you knew that he wasn't.

he peels his face off your shirt as you tuck your phone into your back pocket so as to not have any distractions. you wanted, no needed to be fully there right now. completely zeroed in on him and whatever he needed. In a flash it was like a full 360 realization came onto Kevin. In a flash he's pulling away from you and trying to compose himself. "God, im sorry. I-I didn't mean for my visit to turn out like this." he just wanted to see your face, talk a little bit, not to break down the second he saw you. His eyes dart around as he plays with his own fingers.

You take his hand, guiding him to sit down where you previously were. and god does he really want to scoot himself as close as physically possible to you. but he doesn't want to come off too strong, or like he was needy or anything. but now he's sitting here in arms reach of you and he's nearly screaming inside for you to pull him closer. "Don't be sorry. I’m glad you’re here.” you tell him, softly but firmly. it was more than that thought, and he took the opportunity you'd given him to tell you why he was upset. "I dunno, it wasn't one big thing or anything. but sometimes... sometimes I feel like im too much, you know? or that im not doing enough all at once. But hat probably doesn't make any sense though. kinda stupid, right?" your eyebrows creased together like you were asking what the hell he meant.

Over the course of the better part of an hour he tried so so so damn hard to explain to you what he was feeling and why he thought his entire body felt like it was aching because of it. You listened for a while until you got up to bring the both of you a snack cause he looked a little hungry. he wanted to stay close to you, though, so he followed you to where you kept your snacks and back. and though he was siglent on your short walk, you could almost feel the heaviness that was within him. it seemed to seep through his pores and straight into the air. but you still listened to him, trying to put in what you thought when he needed it.

through broken sobs and quivering lips he had to bite to stop from betraying himself and what he was feeling, he stoped abruptly. "...Like right now." he said simply. "What do you mean?" You prompted. "Are you..." he needed to collect his thoughts and pick himself up, now. "Are you embarrassed of me?" You crained your neck forward, as if you somehow hadn't heard him properly and your ears had tricked you into thinking he had said what you thought he had. "um excuse me? yeah, im gonna need an explanation." you chuckled. and he couldn't help but smile along with your slight laughter. it was infectious. he didn't know why but it seemed like whatever you where feeling he started to as well.

"So far you've spent at least thirty minutes here with men trying to help me." you said. but you still weren't understanding. that was just something you'd do for him. as he'd readily do for you. it came as sedan nature to the both of you and you liked it that way. how you both were so close that either of you could just drop whatever you were doing and help the other. "Does that not seem bad to you?" you simply shook her head. "I had a dream that you were embarrassed of me and how...." he searched for the right words, "you know, needy I can get. And I know it was just s stupid dream, ok? But then I actually started thinking about it." scenes flashed through his mind, burried deep into his heart of all the times you've cared for him. whenever he's feeling insecure and he either came to you about it, or you noticed it, you helped him out of his rut. All the times he's felt sick you've rubbed his back and brought him a cold compress and Vix vapor rub. and sure, he's done these things for you as well... but right now it seemed like he was all the work and you just had to pick up his pieces.

he hated the feeling of causing you so much trouble. and he knew what you would say, too. that "oh no you're not. you need to stop thinking that way about yourself." and he knew it did. he really did know that. but what he also knew was who it seemed like he was acting. no, how he was acting. he wasn't coming to you for every single little thing but sometimes it felt too close to it for his comfort. and not only thing, but, though he knows how you've told him a million times that he's welcome and encouraged to talk things out with you or even just ask for some comfort, he's also well aware how much he's been doing it this past month.

How was it not driving you nuts already? it was sure making him pace around his living room thinking and hoping that you weren't mad at him for it. And he had tried to hold out, ok? he really did today. But then he started thinking about how you probably felt a little suffocated by his latest actions and how it portably looked to outsiders and it made him get all up in his head and that made him only want to come over more. eventually, though, he broke and now here he was feeling bad about even being here.

"you look guilty." you note. "that's cause I am." he admitted, "im sorry that its probably a little weird me coming over like this. or at least me calling you for like an hour because of these things." he swallows thickly, looking at his swinging feet, unable to stop their moving by the floor. you were about to say something but he grasped your hand, blinking a few times and you know you should just let him talk for now. "Is this not embarrassing to you? like, when you talk to people how the hell do you even mention me doing this? I wouldn't blame you if you don't.... you just, seem so happy even when im acting like an actual wreck and y-youre not tired of it? or ashamed? or--" you pull him into your chest, leaning back and bit and letting him fall into a half laying down position, wanting him to be more relaxed.

"you do this for me too, you know?"

"Yeah, but im not the now showing up and the others door like a mess right now. making you take time out of--"

"yeah, but..." you trail off for a moment as he lifts his head up to look you in the eyes. His dark soft hair is sticking up, almost comically, from you pulling at his. more massaging his scalp than anything though, but by the way you gently tugged at his strands he seemed to melt into you easier. "that's what the both of us are here for, no?" you feel him nod into your chest and your small laughter from it causes a vibration to go through your upper chest where he lays his head and into it. you take a deep breath, spurring him to do the same. and for some reason, it really calmed him. air filling his lungs along with you, it felt-- at least to him, that it connected the two of you. releasing, but really it felt like releasing all the negitivity and heaviness that weighed him down. stuck to him like a sickness, and felt like a glue on his lungs that made it hard to breath.

but now, with a clearer head, he listened to you. listened when you said there was no place you'd rather be than with him right now. listened when you told him that no, he's not embarrassing just because he has feelings and lets them out. and he even listened when you told him you're proud of him for still coming to you to talk it out. you wiped the tears from his cheeks with your thumbs and ran your hands through his hair so much it stuck up almost like from electricity. and among talking about other things, the day grew along side the both of you and your chatting. eventually his mind was eased and now taken off of what was bothering him.

===

He wondered how you could even do that, as he lay practically on top of you, wanting to fuse your skin together if he could just to get impossibly closer.

He leans in to whisper in your ear, “please. I-I I really need you closer” you look down at your bodies practically fused together, him basically on top of you, chest to chest and his warm nose, reddening from crying pressed into the crook of your neck. Puffs of air from his heavy breaths tickle your skin and you can’t help but smile as you pull him closer. “We’re already so close, Kev” but really, you knew what he meant. You felt it, too. His hardening dick pressing against your thigh. You could tell he’s trying to be inconspicuous about it, scooting away but you just pull him closer, fingers slicking around his back, thumb padding against his spine.

but you can feel him shiver against you. and not in the typical "I feel so good im practicluy purring" type of way. "You cold?" You ask. Though you know he wasn’t. The sound of him moving further on top of you come to your ears before his voice does. “You made me feel so good.” His face presses further into you neck, pressing a kiss into your rapid pulse. “I wanna make you feel good too… that ok?” You didn’t even need think about it before you nod.

a second later you're in your bed and he's laying on top of you just like before.

He keeps kissing at your neck. the pecks getting longer and more sloppy as the hand ticks on the clock, the only other soul in the room with you. he pulls you up with him so he can circle his hands around your back as yours travel under his shirt, riding it up and feeling his bare skin like it was second nature to you, but exploring like it was new to you all the while. a small smile graced his face and pulls his lips upwards ad he closes his eyes and just feels. feels your fingers on him and relishes it. his lips detach from your neck when he feels you on his lower abdomen. god he really looses his focus too quickly.

But how could he not with you, you and all your splendid glory right in front of him, feeling him up and now slipping your hands underneath the waistband of his pants, making him see stars when you start rubbing his hip bones. it made him get all tangled up in the moment it doesn't even register how you start laying him down. and at this point he doesn't really care as you capture his lips in a searing kiss that leaves the both of you feeling woozy. "open your eyes." you purswade gently. he does so, only for him to tug at the hem of your shirt. "Please," he sounds way too whiney and out of breath for the little that you have done, but he can't help it, getting a little ovewelmed by the thought and look of you, "I need more." you sit up on him, legs swung over either side of him and already dripping heat right above his.

You toss your shirt to the side and within a millisecond he's pulling you back down to him, wanting and needing to feel you on him. your chest presses against his and even though you're still wearing a bra he feels like he's in heaven. and "more" is what you start to give him; kissing down his body and telling him everything you love about him. starting with his shoulders, "you carry so much weight, mediforecly but still. Iove that bout you; how you're so willing to help shoulder a burden." you look up at him for a second, taking a break from just mumbling against his skin, "It also helps how they're so nice looking too. Gorgeous." you move to his chest, "I love you chest, know why?" he shakes his head, "its where one of the few biggest hearts I know is kept." you kiss right by where his heart is, hearing it beat rapidly under his burning hot skin. you go a bit further down his torso to his lungs, "these help you take deep breaths to calm down. im happy when you're calm so I love them." his eyes squint in a smile form your words

but suddenly he realizes as you start to kiss your way further down that-- “This is supposed to be about me making you feel good.” He pulls you up to his lips into a searing kiss that your body can't help but freeze in place from. his hips snap up into yours and you let out a surprised groan from the feeling. the pants you were wearing were thin, but still too much of a barrier from him. he stays underneath you, but now he's a bit more in control, wanting to make you feel above and beyond the love and want and all around good feeling you made him have all up until a moment ago. he sits up and his hands brush up and down your bare back, landing at your hips and keeping them there.

he just wants more. more more more until the both of you bursts. his mouth moves against yours in a way that made you think he was a dream. he sensed it too. and he only wanted to build on that feeling. he moves down to your collarbone and he has to tare himself away so as to not leave a hicky. he has to suppress a loud moan when you start moving your hips on him, grinding on his dick. he grips your hips tighter, thumbs pressing into your sides and the both of you parting lips just for a minute to look deep into each others eyes. he's knows that stare on you, though. a look of longing he wants noting more than to satisfy.

His hand hand travels down your torso to palm your throbbing core needing attention. the heel of his palm rubbing at your clit while his lingers work on your interance. even through the clothes you can't help but sigh in pleasure from his actions. Eventually you just can't take it anymore and you start humping his hand, wanting to realize but also not wanting to peel yourself away for more than a moment to take off your bottoms. under you, Kevin, hard as ever now, let out a whine into your mouth at your lust for him. it seemed like you no only had one thing on your mind and he loved it, chased after that need you felt and tried to expound on it.

you break away from him a moment later though cause, fuck this really isn't getting me anywhere. And help him tug his shirt up and over his head he complies it in his hand and puts it to the side to be long forgotten as you link your hands behind his neck and lean back with him as he chases your lips. he smiles into the kiss and it makes you do the same; a quite moment that wasn't ruined by him gently pulling at the waist band of your bottoms in question and you nodding against him. "oh yes please," you breath out, almost relieved, "I have to have you. thought you'd never ask." your tilt your head back, though you're not quite sure what for until he plants another open mouthed kiss on your sweet spot and you feel like blushing and moaning at the same time.

"Me too," he admits In your ear almost as a whisper, a secret only the two of you were able to share. "I wan-- need you closer." his fingers dance down, down, down, until he finds the wet patch you've made on your underwear. God he fucking needs it on his face, tasting you, smelling you, feeling you around him. better yet, why not get it straight from the source? damn it now he needs you on his face too. all the while he's rubbing you just how he knows youll shiver with pleasure and writhe on top of him, you're eyes are closed. and now thinking of it... and wanting you to know about it, makes him get a little bit bolder. "eyes on me, darling," he mimicked what you had said to him earlier. except this one was less commanding. he starts rubbing faster on your clit, making you pull him closer.

he can't take it anymore; with his free hand he begins to palm himself over his pants "I need you to see how you make me feel." you open your eyes to see the erotic sight right in front of you. his head thrown back and stroking himself over his sweats. you can tell he doesn't know what to make or do with himself. and to be completely honestly neither do you. his tongue is poking out to wet his lips as a high pitched keen meets your ears.

He feels like he really does need to-- need to show you how hard you make him. how else is he supposed to help you to understand all that he wants you to right now? You scoot his hand out of the way and replace it with your own "do I get you like this?" he presses his lips together and nods, barely able to form words with your hand moving on him now. "mmhm only you." the confession made you smile but you weren't able to continue the moment when he shifts so that you drop your hand and lay down further. "remember? you." he chuckles. he returns his hands to your heat, you tugging down your bottoms in the process.

Now that he sees you clad in just your underwear and bra, he can't help but crawl back up to eye level and give a quick peck to your lips. it was too fucking sweet to describe. with a cute smile pulling at his lips, he backs up and his fingers return to pleasure you. your underwear was sticking to your pussy uncomfortably now, wet patch now more visible. and as much as he wanted to tease you more, he also knew what you needed. he rolls down your underwear just as he would any other time. that was one of the things you loved about him, you thought as he dips his fingers into your wetness, testing the waters. you didn't know he was going to come over, you deffintly didn't know that it was going to turn into this. it wasnt like you wore anything special and dressed up, but he still loved it all. noticed was amiss, noting changed.

that was one of the reasons why you didn't mind having to spend so much time comforting him. cause he does the same for you an no matter if you dressed up or not he still gave you what you needed, not just sexually but in general. so of course you'd treat him the same way.

You make a sound of pleasure and now he's hooked, chasing more form you. dropping his entire body down further, he comes face to face with your glistening cunt. the fact that he made you like this-- god can barely think because of it. he takes an experimental lick up your folds and holds his tongue at your clit, putting hot, wet, and steady pressure on it. the muscle moves a bit more, kitten licking at your hole, sucking at your clit, and doing all the things that makes you wanna combust.

his tongue goes in and out, poking inside your gummy walls. and he feels like he's in heaven with you right now. He can barely handle it as he feels you clench around noting and you whisper out his name over and over again, pulling at his hair, tighter than before, bringing him impossibly closer. he grasps your hips to pull your up and even closer. the new angle hitting just right you can't help my moan. "fuck-- I-- I need--" you don't even know what you need at this point you just want more of this, more of him. He's eating you like a starved man, already drunk on how you taste on his tongue, wanting more.

While his tongue works on in between your folds his nose is getting wet bumping at your clit. His hands on your hips makes it perfect to grind on his face. but he doesn't mind, invites it, actually. He just holds out his tongue and lets you grind your way dangerously close to your high. He starts to move along with you, matching your movements as his dick twitches in his pants. the added pressure is just what you needed to go over the edge. you start to slow your movements on him, him picking up the pace so to help you ride it out. his hips rock into the mattress, wanting and needing to feel more. you're sounds proving to be too much without himself feeling something. You're moaning and groaning and whining along with him against you as you feel pure euphoria rush through you like a wave of perfection.

You try to even out your breath as he rubs at your hip bones, sitting up to keep himself from grinding on the bed, he can already tell he's not gonna last long enough to have you later too. "You--" you don't even know what to say as he brings you up with him, you know sitting on his thigh and you don't know if you can take it anymore. neither can he, seeing you cum-- it took everything in him not to follow along with you. he can't help but thrust his hardness up, barely feeling you in the end but he needs something, anything. just the thought of himself feeling your slick on his cock. that's all he needs, really; your wetness on him. he just needs to feel it. so he keeps going, angling his thrusts towards your pussy. he fucks himself into you, needing to feel you on him.

he locks his lips on yours as you rut yourself on his thigh. your fingers that were in his hair unties his pants and inches them down enough so that he get thrust up, getting his tip wet through one less layer. The feeling makes him press his lips harder on yours. he whines into your mouth and you don think you've ever heard a sound prettier. his hands are griping your hips, traveling to your back to bring you closer. you're grinding on his thigh as he tries to grind onto yours, the slick that travailed down your thigh making it easy to slide, rubbing up and down, his mind blank.

he's almost looses sight again with his lips moving in sync with yours. He breaks the kiss to watch his own hand go down to capture your release on them, fucking it back into you when you urge him to hurry up. he curls his fingers right where you want him to, pumping them in and out at the same pace he was thrusting into your thigh. you had just came so the feeling was ten times stronger than before. He senses what you're feeling and pecks your lips one more time before driving his fingers back into your heat. "give me one more? please I know you can." he nearly pleads with you.

You hump his palm, chasing your own high. a slow and intimate grind but enough to get you what you want and need. he feels woozy because of the feeling of your cream lathering up his fingers and forming a ring around the base, now dripping onto his palm as he watches his fingers roll in and out. a moment later and you're releasing all over his hand, his whining while he humps your leg taking it to a whole new level as you moan out in pleasure. and now he's rubbing the slick you've given him back into your pussy

your lips are back on his in an instant, unable to stay away for long after the leg shaking orgasm he gave you. he looks down at his boner. not realizing he had cum along with your with his release making a wet patch all on the front of his boxers. "you're still hard?" you chuckle. "For you? always." he smiles, more of a smirk than anything, back at you. breathing heavy and labored and eyes squinted.

"Do you have a condom?" he asks, half actually asking and half wondering aloud if you wanted to go any further, "I don't think I can keep on seeing you look so perfect without doing anything about it any longer." he wonders if he's even making sense. but when you peck his lips and reach over to your nightstand. he freezes, but he's back to life in a second when you turn to him with one.

“aren’t you glad you’re here?” You laugh, “you get to share you feelings and we get to have each other.”

He’s sure the way you said it must be a joke I’m some way but yeah, he's really glad he came over.

~end~

please leave a comment or reblog if you enjoyed!!

taglist: @itz-yerin

©️2023copyrightofshutupheathersorryheatherr do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works even if you give me credit

[pacific-coast-hockey]

San Jose Sharks/San Jose Barracuda media resources!

HELLO everyone, I keep seeing more and more new faces in the notes of Sharks prospects posts, which is BANANAS because who even cares about the Sharks, but also, welcome, I am so glad you are here!! Being a fan of the San Jose Barracuda is easier when there are people who are suffering with you so I'm glad for every new person who sees a picture of some prospect and goes 🤨. Our prospect pipeline is full of delightful and charming young men who are varying degrees of incredibly boneheaded and development camp is always such a special, stupid, joy.

I thought it might be nice to do a round up of media resources for the teams, since there seem to be some new eyes on the players and interest in learning more! Luckily, San Jose is not Toronto, so the media landscape is much easier to navigate.

Note: this is not an exhaustive list, it's just media sources that I tend to hit up the most often and trust more than other sites. But again, we also don't have that much lol.

SITES:

San Jose Hockey Now: They have good access to the team and do a lot of prospect stuff. They also read like People magazine. It's incredibly entertaining. Most of their prospect interviews are locked behind a paywall but it's literally $3.49 a month* to subscribe so PLEASE consider signing up

Fear the Fin: They did decent stuff when they were part of SB Nation, however they were part of the cuts of SB Nation, so they're still getting back on their feet as an independent site. Their photographer is fantastic.

The Hockey News' San Jose Sharks vertical: Max Miller is fighting for his life in the trenches, but sometimes has interesting soundbites.

Again it's San Jose so we don't have like. very much. Also normally I'd recommend checking out local newspapers for their beats, but the Mercury News' Sharks beat reporter is not that great and you get so much further with SJHN or Corey Masisak.

TWITTER (and Instagram)

The state of our social media teams is such that they are absolutely horrific experiences to perceive, which is, to be clear, so reflective of living in San Jose generally.

San Jose Sharks on twitter // on instagram

San Jose Barracuda on twitter // on instagram

There are also player instagrams which you can look up on your own because I feel weird linking personal instagrams lol.

Media people worth following:

Sheng Peng: Editor in Chief of SJHN who gets some of the most charming soundbites out of the guys. Also some of the most ??? soundbites. And then, I cannot stress this enough, frames the conversations like a pulp magazine.

Corey Masisak: formerly of the Athletic, thankfully now one of the Sharks staff writers. He's quite a talented writer and has a good touch with the teams and has gotten some charming human interest stories out of the Sharks. We love him and hate Kevin Kurz. Follow him on Twitter for direct links to articles -- the NHL.com website is mostly press releases and hell to navigate.

Lizz Child: the Barracuda's staff writer, also their smm. Great interviews with the players, she's good at getting honest answers out of them. Also has an incredible wealth of knowledge about players coming out of the WHL.

Max Miller: the kid holding the Sharks beat for the Hockey News together, I don't have a strong opinion on him but he does come up with good stuff sometimes

PODCASTS:

What baffles me about San Jose Sharks podcasting landscape is that we have SO MANY FAN PODCASTS and yet somehow they're all garbage?? Where is our YCDT, our Tunnel Talk. I'd start one but I have no friends and nothing interesting to say and absolutely no one needs hear another man run his mouth off about hockey. Also I would jump off a bridge if the org perceives me again.

All links go to Spotify.

Locked on Sharks: JD Young is like my pet hamster. He is SO BAD at interviewing, however he is also a huge hype man of the prospects and gets interviews with some of the guys who don't get quite as much attention or who are not big names yet. (He's getting better at interviewing, but it's taking him. years.)

The Undercurrent with Tara Slone: One of the Sharks official podcasts, everyday I wake up and go how the fuck did we get Tara Slone on our payroll. It's a newer podcast, but she's already had some great conversations with prospects.

Cuda Confidential: NICK NOLLENBERGER, BELOVED. Nolly is the Cuda's play by play announcer for AHLTV and I think also the Cuda's head of PR. Generally very charming, he does good interviews, especially with the older guys. I also really like his game recaps for Cuda games, they're short and he does a good job of running through everything that happened

Sharks Hockey Digest: I have never listened to this because I think it's mostly PR conferences, but apparently they started to doing off season interviews so I guess I gotta. 🫠

ON TUMBLR

There are 4.5 fans in the cudablr fan community. Join us.

@18minutemajor is THE artist of our time

@tofumilanesa is giffin those Cuda games and Sharks games when their special dudes are involved and also has a great eye for when the players are doing some incredibly stupid shit on ice

@whoredeleau is grabbing the tweets and instagram photos and videos

@bunnymcfoo occasionally posts game day photos

me, who is mostly grabbing photos of old guys from the Cuda's flickr and very occasionally from Instagram, and posting live updates from the Cuda games that include such critical information for the broader fan community as "Coach Jmac got a haircut I think" and "Pat Sieloff looked tenderly at another old man today" and "Nick Cicek is riled up at the refs and it's giving 'my son asked for no pickles'" and "I just found out the arena sells cookies."

and for AO3 lmao.....hit me up on my main (@moregraceful) - I try to keep it lowkey on this blog ever since the fucking org found me.

Anyway, hope literally any of that is helpful!! I love when people get interested in this cringefail franchise. I'll be at the scrimmage tonight and hopefully have something interesting to report. Any questions feel free to ask!!

[cityoftheangelllls]

Soooooo the Mario movie was awesome! Definitely the best movie-going experience I've had since Spiderman No Way Home! Illumination really outdid themselves and I think that this has to be the best movie they've done, even more so than the first two Despicable Me movies and Sing! And I can tell they and Nintendo put so much effort into this and making it a giant fan to Mario fans everywhere, from the kids to those who have been there from the beginning. It wasn't perfect (I mean, what movie is, and is there really such a thing as perfection?) but it was still a lot of fun!!!!

Below is what I loved about the movie and what I felt could have been better! Just a heads-up, there ARE spoilers. Even though it has pretty much the typical storyline of most Mario games and is therefore somewhat predictable, I don't want those who haven't seen it yet to miss out on being blown away as I was about it.

*********************************************************************

The Ups:

MARIO. HE IS THE BIGGEST SWEETHEART. HE LOVES HIS BROTHER SO SO MUCH. HE WOULD FETCH A STAR FROM SPACE FOR HIS BROTHER IF HE COULD. I WOULD DIE FOR HIM AND THE LOVE HE HAS FOR HIS BABY BRO. And from the beginning, he's so determined and motivated and never gives up! And it's his brother that motivates him to do most of what he does! I also liked the little details they added to his character that we never got to see before, such as the fact that he initially hates mushrooms.

Peach was amazing! At first I thought that they girlbossed her a bit too much to the point where she was a carbon copy of Daisy, but now I see her as a kind, maternal, and feminine young woman who fights when she needs to and is just doing her job protecting her kingdom. I hate how people are bashing her characterization here, like, have they forgotten how she was in the DIC cartoons, the 1986 anime, and SUPER PRINCESS PEACH? I also like her backstory and she's so cute as a baby! Also, since I HC that she and Daisy are super close, maybe she learned a thing or two from her!

Toad was so silly and chaotic, and he stole every scene he was in!

Luigi was precious and Charlie Day was perfect for his voice, as I predicted! I can tell that he was totally channeling Tony Rosato at times. I loved so many of his moments on screen, especially when he protects his brother during the final battle!

Jack Black KILLED IT as Bowser! He made him a villain who's hilarious but intimidating and ferocious at the same time and not many people can pull that off effectively!

Donkey Kong was a bit annoying and Illumination-y but they did a good job with him here. Also HE DID THE SETH ROGEN LAUGH TWICE FACK YES

The voice cast in general was fantastic! Charlie Day, Kevin Michael Richardson, and Jack Black were literal perfection in particular, Fred Armisen as Cranky Kong was lit, and Keegan Michael Key was great for Toad, as I predicted! He's a very versatile comedian and voice actor, after all! Also, Chris Pratt's Mario has grown on me in a good way. Although I vastly prefer Charles Martinet, as well as Lou Albano (who has my favorite Mario voice ever), Chris really didn't do that bad of a job! He DID TOO put effort into voicing him, and his "Wahoo!"s and cries of delight and triumph were on point! The only voice that I still feel like I have to get used to is Anya Taylor-Joy as Peach. She's a talented actress but I don't think she entirely suited Peach's soft, feminine, and maternal nature, but that's just me.

Mario and Luigi's parents are so precious! In fact, their whole family is so cute and hilarious! They remind me of my own proudly Italian (mostly) family. And Charles Martinet voicing their dad was the icing on the cake! I'm just so glad we finally got to see their family in general.

I also like how the boys' situation of still living with their parents, (presumably) not pursuing college and working blue-collar jobs while in their 20s-30s wasn't portrayed in a negative way. It's a great way of telling audiences that it's okay if you haven't gone off on your own yet in adulthood or attended college, that life isn't a sequence of steps that everyone has to follow exactly and at the same time, and that patience, hard work, and a positive attitude will lead you to great opportunities in life when you least expect them, like with what happened to the bros.

THE BROS' REUNION HUG OH MY GOD!!!!!! THE FOREHEAD TOUCH AND MARIO LIFTING LUIGI OFF THE GROUND DURING THEIR SECOND EMBRACE, I ALMOST CHOKED ON MY ICEE AND BECAME A SOBBING MESS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE THEATER MY GOD

And then them teaming up together to defeat Bowser and his forces, AS IT SHOULD BE.

I mean seriously this movie was a slap to the face of everyone who thought Mario hates his brother

Mario and Luigi getting their own little house in the Mushroom Kingdom! AND COFFEE CUPS THAT MATCH THEIR HATS!!!!

Mario and Peach's relationship thus far! I love how close they are by the end of the movie, even though they haven't developed a romance yet, and how Mario was telling her all about Brooklyn and how he'll get her a pet turtle once he gets to take her there. D'awwwwwww.

Peach completing the trainer course ALL WHILE WEARING A FULL LENGTH BALL GOWN AND HEELS. AND her admitting that she didn't master doing it until she had tried multiple, multiple times was such a great addition to character, proof that while she may be more of a girlboss here she still has more character development than Rey in the Star Wars sequels.

Peach telling Luigi that he's brave was so sweet :3 Even though they didn't really have a proper meeting scene like I hoped, I'm glad they got to at least interact a little.

Although I wish they would have used the wedding dress from Odyssey or even Paper Mario, Peach's wedding dress here is so pretty!

Donkey Kong becoming an ally of Mario and them helping each other get to the Mushroom Kingdom was super nice, although I do feel their friendship could have been built on a little more and that DK should have apologized to Mario for insulting his brother.

THE MUSIC!!!!! Brian Tyler NAILED the orchestrations of all those iconic themes! I especially got so happy when I heard the SNES Rainbow Road theme, the DK rap, and Toad's House from SMB3! I can only imagine how Koji Kondo, the man who composed so many of these melodies for chiptune almost 40 years ago and is STILL composing music for the games, is feeling now that they have these epic, sweeping orchestral renditions.

They outdid themselves with the animation and visuals as well! ESPECIALLY the visuals. They're so colorful and whimsical and just scenery p0rn all around, from the Mushroom Kingdom giving off major Alice in Wonderland vibes and Bowser's incredible floating lava castle to the Jungle Kingdom and the rainbow road! And I can't think of a single character (re)design that I didn't like! They all look so good!

The slo mo bits were SO funny. Especially "MMMMMAAAAAAAAMMMAAAAA MMMMIIIIIIIAAAAAA!" and "PPPPPRRRRRIIIIIIINNNNNCCCCEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!"

Bringing back such an obscure and relatively forgotten character as Foreman Spike was awesome!

Every time that Diddy Kong was onscreen was so funny!

ALL THE EASTER EGGS, GOOD GOLLY. From the references to the SUPER SHOW OF ALL THINGS to the guy who's supposed to resemble Jumpman (Mario's first incarnation) at the beginning!

That one bit where Mario is sitting in his room playing a video game also felt really reminiscent of the beginning of The Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach (1986). If Nintendo was going for that I'm so glad they acknowledged such an obscure piece of Mario media!

The Downs:

Goddammit, you SERIOUSLY had to include minions in the Illumination logo.

It honestly felt a bit rushed in places and I wish more scenes could have had more time devoted to them. Some characters, ESPECIALLY Luigi, didn't really get as much screen time as I felt they needed, and that kind of sucked.

I was really hoping for Bowser to have a hard rock-style villain song, as that really suits his aesthetic and Jack Black could totally have done it! I mean he was in School of Rock for crying out loud and he's proven afterwards that he can really belt out classic rock tunes! Despite that, I'm glad he got to at least sing in the movie, and his song dedicated to Peach was hilarious.

I'm bummed that the movie wasn't really a musical as I had heard around the net so many times; only two characters sang (Bowser and Toad, even though the latter's wasn't really an actual song) and there were a bunch of pop/rock hits from the past few decades sandwiched in. They were still good songs that I like though, such as Thunderstruck, Take on Me, and Holding Out for a Hero (although I wish it could have been the original Bonnie Tyler version). I was ESPECIALLY pumped to hear Mr. Blue Sky!! But still, a lack of songs sung by characters bummed me out.

I don't like how some lines were changed (such as Bowser's "NOW WHO'S GONNA STOP ME?!?!") or cut entirely (e.g. Mario's "I'm not afraid! I'll do anything for my brother!") I'm especially bitter about the latter, since hearing that line in the final trailer made me super emotional and cutting it meant less devotion to how much Mario loves and misses his brother.

It was kind of a wasted opportunity to not see Mario and Luigi's family (and the rest of Brooklyn for that matter) bewildered over their sons bringing back a princess in a wedding gown, a little mushroom man, and an ape wearing a necktie. I bet their dad would have been wondering what someone put in his coffee, and their mom would have taken one look at Peach and been all like, "OMG IS ONE OF MY SONS GETTING MARRIED ALREADY??" It just would have been nice for them to interact a little.

The blue star/Luma was honestly so annoying and gave me an unsettling identity crisis, I just thought that was not fitting for a family friendly movie. Also, why was he/she in Bowser's dungeon in the first place?

As Donkey Kong should have apologized to Mario for fighting with him, Spike should have apologized to Mario and Luigi for doubting them. It didn't really make sense for him to just abruptly cheering for them.

Part of me kind of wishes it had taken place in the 1980s. It kind of makes sense, given that the Mario and Luigi characters formally debuted in 1983 and this is an origin story for how they came to be.

But despite all this, there were way more ups than downs, and the "downs" are just little nitpicks from me that don't take away from the movie being one hell of a ride. It was fantastic, and definitely one of the best animated movies I've seen in a while. 9/10 from me!!.

Some of my several VERY high hopes for the sequel:

YOSHI CUTENESS!!!

Also, if I have to predict a voice actor for Yoshi, it would have to be either Frank Welker or Kazumi Totaka reprising his role.

Luigi getting more screen time and also getting to share in his bro's adventures! Dude deserves way better!

Mario having second thoughts about Luigi accompanying him in dangerous situations because he's terrified of losing him again, and Luigi reminding him that "nothing will harm them as long as they're together"

PLEASE just more brotherly love!

Mario and Peach developing a romance and vowing to protect each other!

At least one callback to the "Mama Luigi" episode of the Super Mario World cartoon series. I mean, it would only seem right now that Yoshi is joining the gang, right?

Heck, I bet it's going to be chock full of references to the Super Mario World game, the Yoshi's Island games, and the Super Mario World cartoon.

DAISY AND/OR ROSALINA PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

Bowser's backstory (and possibly redemption)! It's clear to me that he's just a big softie that needs love and friendship in his life. And, since he's really their friend who likes to engage in role play just for fun according to word of mouth, I wonder how they will incorporate that into the Mario Cinematic Universe.

Some evidence that Mario and Luigi alternating between their lives in Brooklyn (probably just so that they can spend time with their family) and the Mushroom Kingdom

"I HOPE SHE MADE LOTSA SPAGHETTI!"

[spaceorphan18]

And Here's What You Missed... (Eps 1 & 2)

I'm going to try to recap listening to Kevin and Jenna's podcast. I figured it might be a nice way to kind of get these discussions out there - and for me to process my feelings. Honestly, I was initially worried that the entire podcast would be just slamming the entire show - but I can assure you, it's really not. Kevin and Jenna (along with Ryan Murphy in these episodes) are coming in with a lot of joy for the show. And while they'll be honest about their experiences, they're at a place in their lives where they can examine it freshly and openly.

And interestingly - one of the biggest takeaways I'm getting from this is that those long conversations I had with @snarkyhag on the TDB Podcast (and with fandom throughout the years) weren't wrong. I feel like Kevin and Jenna are layering on context to things that -- for those of us deep in fandom -- already knew or were aware of.

They're also pushing back against some of the hate that they continue to see about the show? While I stay out of those lanes, I'm sure they inevitably can't - so this is a way to address a lot of it. And (like I said when I first wrote about listening to the podcast) it reminds me a lot of Pod Meets World - where the cast of Boy Meets World discusses the show as adults - and addresses the highs and lows from making the show.

A few notes from episode one...

I talked about most of it already from a few asks that I got, but a few points --

Ryan Murphy is the first guest, and they do go into the creating of the pilot, but it's a much more casual conversation that kind of takes a lot of detours. The thing is that I feel like I have a little more respect for RM now. He talks a lot about how he didn't know what he was getting into and didn't know how to handle a lot of things that he does know how to do now.

They talk a lot about how close the cast was at the beginning -- and how they're still all like a family.

RM also talks a lot about how he got started with everything -- I think I may have talked about this earlier? But a lot of it's common knowledge.

Also Will was originally, essentially, Sandy in the pilot - and also a crystal meth user. The script was super, super dark. They eventually changed it so that it was so squeaky clean that they had to add Sue as a villain to balance it out.

RM also gets into a big discussion surrounding homophobic tendencies in hollywood (ironically?) which made the show a hard sell.

Yes - there was an idea of a Warbler spin off. RM said no, though thinks now may it would have worked. Yes, he off the cuff says it would have solved some problems. What? I have no idea -- but I do think it would have created a lot of problems, too.

Kevin asks about why they had to do What The Fox Says and while RM gives an answer that they did what was popular at the time -- I think I have more context as to why most of the cast didn't like it -- especially after listening to the second episode. The cast was just kind of done with the show, they were tired and their close friend had just died, and the absurdity of the number is what broke Kevin - who was the last of the cast to finally feel fatigued by the show.

(This is what I'm kind of excited to hear from the cast -- context.)

Episode 2 Notes -

Justin Timberlake was meant for Will - but it was quickly decided that it wasn't possible to get him. JT probably didn't know

Ryan Murphy reiterates a lot through these episodes that he didn't know what he was doing - and that he was new to all of it - it becomes kind of a theme.

Because he didn't know how to ask for what he wanted (such as casting choices) he would often threaten to quit if he didn't get what he wanted (thus creating a somewhat diva persona).

They wrote Sue for Jane Lynch - and finally decided to just go get her.

RM knew Amber from another failed pilot - and wanted her back.

They all acknowledge that Kevin wouldn't be cast as Arite today.

RM knew Lea from Jonathan Groff - and basically wrote the part for her. (He also slipped her sides so she knew her role in advance.)

Nothing new mentions - but it is acknowledged that the part of Kurt was written for Chris. (not mentioned is that there was originally a character named Rajeesh that had most of Kurt's lines an early draft)

They wanted to cast kids who looked like kids - and not like they belonged on the CW

There's a big conversation around guest stars.

April was written for Kristen Chenoweth.

RM talks a lot about working with Whitney Houston to play the part that Eve ultimately gets. While they don't talk about why she turned it down RM says that she probably wasn't in a good place at the time.

After the show became a hit - many people wanted to guest star - but couldn't get all of them in; namely Jennifer Lopez and Anne Hathaway.

Carol Burnett was special to RM because he grew up watching her show as a kid - and was glad he could have a moment with her.

Guest stars they'd have if it was airing today - Zendaya, Beyonce, Lady Gaga, and Lizzo

RM mentions that he's been sent death threats over the Let's Have a Kiki/Turkey Lurkey Time mash up and does not care. He stands by a majority of his choices for the show.

They get into a big discussion about how the episode Michael was possibly the hardest to shoot because of all the numbers. And that's the point when a lot of people really start to feel run down by everything.

This is where Jenna says she missed an episode -- and it was due to her losing it. Basically she was asked to leave for an episode, but she was having a mental break down and didn't know how to cope. There's a long conversation about mental health and how RM would have let any of them take time off now if he was doing the show now, but they didn't have those tools back then.

It's also somewhat implied that Season 3 is really when a lot of the cast were getting fatigued by the show. Cory's death is really what broke it (more on that in a moment) but later they even talk about the fact that three seasons was probably the what they should have done -- even if RM says he loves a lot of 4-6 and wouldn't do things differently.

RM didn't want to do a superbowl episode - recognizing that football fans and glee fans aren't the same (I agree!!) and that the whole episode people were worn out and sick.

RM also says that he didn't want them to go on tour between seasons 2 and 3 -- because everyone (cast and crew) was already so tired, but didn't know how to say no to the network/people in charge. He is sorry about that.

The girls cried about exhaustion from the tour and just wanted to go home.

Kevin loved it though - saying it was the only time he was ever going to feel like a rock star.

Conversation takes a long turn into costuming.

RM was obsessed with costuming -- wanted every character to be iconic. Admits to wanting the show to have certain colors, etc.

(Remember when us older fans talked about him wanting an episode based around the color orange -- we were right!! He doesn't say that here - I'm just saying our observations have been mostly been right about a lot of this stuff...)

RM goes into his own issues with OCD, and his own obsessions with things like color and costuming. (This is actually pretty interesting, and gives context as to why a lot of the show looked the way it did. Kevin and Jenna talk a bit about the creation of their characters and their costuming choices.)

Getting back to the pilot a little -- RM really stressed that he loved creating the show, and had a lot of love for the pilot. He always felt like an outsider, and this was a way for him to express his eccentricities.

Ryan was obsessed with Don't Stop Believin' - there's a bit of discussion around the creation of it, and how much work went into it.

He wanted a show that represented the hopefulness of youth, and Will was a representation of regret for not having that youth. (eesh - is spot on.)

There is a few mentions of other magical moments on the show (the Adele Mash-Up for one) but Ryan admits that the Vitamin D stuff came about because he needed vitamin d to stay awake to right.

As we all might of guessed - there are a lot of things that were inspired from real life -- Kevin and Jenna plan to get into all of that as we go along.

One interesting point that comes up is that Kevin and Jenna admit that Ryan pushed them out of their comfort zones for better or for worse - and that they're better people and professionals because of it.

Jenna asked what RM thought the legacy of the show is -- RM talks about the love for music, and celebration of music education, as well as touching upon social issues. He's glad it still resonates today - even if some things didn't age well.

RM has an interesting quote about how people in show business go into it trying to find the love and acceptance they don't get in the real world. He wanted the show to be a place where people on the outside did get accepted.

There's a huge conversation about the Quarterback -- RM was particularly broken about Cory, and no one surrounding the show knew what to do. Now - RM says they wouldn't have come back -- or at least allowed everyone to have more time away. Kevin talked about how it felt very invasive -- how they had to share this very personal grief on a national level, and everyone was unprepared how to do it.

One reason the cast has kind of stayed away is that Glee feels more tragic now with all of the youthful loss that surrounds it.

Ryan asks Kevin and Jenna how they plan to do the podcast -- and they talk about doing a show every week - but they're going to dig deep into a lot of the BTS stuff, too.

They want to address some of the stupid stuff spreading on Tiktok.

When Kevin says touch upon the bad stuff - RM presses him to say what specifically. Kevin says all the deaths, but also the later behavior problems (implying the issues between Lea and Naya).

They also talk a little about how hard it was to do the split narrative -- but no one was sure really how to address that.

Ryan reiterates a lot that he's learned a lot - and would do a lot differently if he was doing it now. Admits that he should have had better communication with the cast.

RM does bring up a mention of a reboot sincerely - thinks it'd be an okay time to do it, but there's no real plan. (Eesh, please no)

RM has a lot a lot a lot of love for the show overall, and trusts Kevin and Jenna with the podcast because they actually have a lot of love for the show, too. He also hopes that they watch the show with fresh eyes and see the good that came out of it - even during those harder times.

I think what I want to end with is that it's kind of interesting to me how Cory and Naya's deaths kind of bookend these conversations. Cory's death kind of put an end to the show in a way. While Naya's death somewhat brought them all back together.

[ohifonlyx33]

A movie pitch for a Christmas movie with adult Kevin McAllister ...Call it "Home Alone Together" or something

OK so Home Alone is probably my generations #1 Christmas movie.

But I just want the a new movie with Macauley Caulkin as Kevin McAllister, taking the franchise somewhere new but gloriously cliche in the most self-aware and genuine way. It's still fun, it's still Christmas. It's still sincere. But now a movie about an adult Kevin, moving out of the Slapstick Family Comedy Genre and veering into the Hallmark Holiday Genre. The two are not so incompatible if you think about the sentimental moments Kevin and his mom have in the original movies.

We open the movie seeing where Kevin is at in his life. He's made a lot of money from some startup company or something. Maybe he invented his own version of a Security Camera Doorbell, but he sold it to Ring and now lives off a passive income stream or something. He's in his late 30's, single, cynical, and struggling. He is bored and disillusioned. The magic is gone and he is alone because of a deep-seated fear of abandonment that even caused him to push his fiancé away until she broke off their engagement (he never told her the details of why he hates Christmas... or what he did to the Wet Bandits). That was two years ago, and he hasn't dated since. He still has some PTSD from his multiple encounters with the Wet Bandits (what they tried to do to him scares him, but what he did to them haunts him). The child who once loved Christmas now dreads and fears it. Every year the family tries to reach out to him, but he ignores them, like they ignored him.

This year they all plan to come to his house, so like a sane, well-adjusted person he just... puts his house on the market a week before Christmas, packs up his stuff, and leaves to buy a house in a quaint little village called Brighton, Michigan (it's a real town apparently and it's EXACTLY what I had in mind).

The tone shifts away from the opening of every Home Alone Movie Ever (aka "the McAllister's are Making Holiday Plans and how does Kevin feel about that?") into Hallmark territory. (aka "Moody City Character Moves to Small Town").

Anyway, I think you can see where this is going... Enter his romantic interest, played by his real life partner Brenda Song of Suite Life fame. Let's call her Joy Leigh just to be unsubtle.

Joy is a sweet, warm, loving woman who runs the inn where he is staying while his new house is being renovated. And it's Christmas. She LOOOOVES Christmas, but this year is hard because it's the first one without her parents and this her first time running the inn by herself. She needs help understanding how to run the business of things... something she will come to learn Kevin is well-equipped to help her with. Hint, hint. ;)

Despite his cynical and grumpy demeanor, they have some good repartee. Joy wants to learn his story and help cheer him up. But as he starts to warm up to her, he sees her own sadness and wants to cheer her up. He starts helping her with finances. She asks about his family. They commiserate over missing the joy of a holiday they once loved... They start to really connect. Maybe even have a bit too much wine, get lost in the moment, and kiss.

Meanwhile his entire family is looking for him and trying to find out where he went. Joy accidentally answers a phone call and it happens to be Kevin's mom... and anyway she gives away a little too much before she realizes what she's done.

Kevin is upset. She tells him "Yeah, I shouldn't have done that. But it's not like you have to be alone. You chose to be alone because you're scared of being left alone again. Don't do that to yourself. Not when you still have people who love you."

Then we learn that a couple of background guests at the inn (whom we've seen Joy interact with despite Kevin's mild suspicions) have actually been casing the place (would it be too on-the-nose if they were twins brothers? or maybe just one of the Sprouse brothers and a female accomplice?).

At this point the tone of the movie shifts back into home alone territory for a bit. It's an escape and survive scenario. The other couple staying at the inn is also in danger... they're locked up and held hostage. These aren't just regular thieves. They enjoy violence. They're doing this for the sadistic fun of it.

It starts out with Joy freaking out and Kevin saving her, naturally slipping into survival mode, looking for the nearest clothes iron, going full MacGyver, etc. But he's scared to actually commit to it. As Joy sees him trying to choose between fight or flight, and as her shock wears off, she starts to actively help him. "You were a kid trying to survive. You made it into a game to cope with the situation. Those people, and these people now, they are the ones that chose to hurt other people. Now we have to do whatever we can do to stop them." Then she explains that they just need to get to the front desk where she keeps her gun for self-defense.

But when they are outwitted by the criminals, Kevin is NOT having it. They had the upperhand after a week of casing the place (while he was making moon-eyes at Joy, no less). The gun is gone. The phone lines are cut. After some confrontation Kevin lets himself get taken so Joy can escape.

But she knows this inn better than they EVER could. And she, in turn, launches a full-on assault against the criminals to save Kevin. Turns out she and Kevin are cut from the same crazy cloth. 😍

The movie ends with his WHOLE family finding them in the nick of time and asking Kevin if he would please just move back to the city. No. He's going to stay and help run the inn and improve the security. With Joy.

"When I was a kid," he tells Joy in front of his mother, "I hated having a big family and lots of people around. I thought I wanted to grow up and live alone. So I tried that. Turns out, it's not so great after all. I can't go back..."

"So what will you do?"

"Well, I was thinking... I really like it here." (They share a knowing glance.)

"Well, I know someone who needs some help running a business. She could probably use better security too." Joy says.

"Will you at least come to Christmas dinner?" Kevin's mom asks.

No. But there is room at the inn, and they are more than welcomed to have a nice quiet Christmas dinner here with him and Joy.

In the end, Kevin makes peace with his past. He accepts that his family truly does care about him, though it may be hard for him to see them often. But he learns that it's not good to push people away when they are trying to have a good relationship. He learns to move past his traumas and open up to someone. And Joy gets to spend Christmas with his family since she doesn't have her own. Everyone is happy.

[mcgnussen]

“the best kevin” - a danish viaplay documentary about kevin magnussen (1/2):

brasil pole

k-mag did his outlap as quickly as he could to feel the track and noted all the wet patches and then remembered them all for his pole lap  

after his lap, it slowly began to dawn on people in the garage that maybe kev had done something amazing. jesper, relation manager of haas (and danish), and the press officer both realised at the same time what might be happening.the press officer basically punched the table in excitement.   

kevin actually hated the fact that the red flag came out. the track was already too wet for anyone to beat him, so then he was afraid that the track might end up drying up and other people would improve. it was torture for him to just sit and wait.   

his dad, jan magnussen, was at home with his wife (kev’s step mum) and son and they were just on the couch, drinking coffee as usual, and watching kevin race. he was so excited and moved by kevin’s pole, he also got a ton of messages from the stewart family, old teammates, racing drivers from all over the world, friends and family congratulating him on kevin’s pole. kevin’s wife (who jan calls lulu which is adorable) called him and wept tears of joy, kevin’s mum, britt, called him and wept tears of joy, his brother, erik, called him and wept tears of joy (erik magnussen is one of the world’s best kart mechanics and has trained kevin from a young age).   

erik magnussen on why kevin’s lap mattered so much: “it’s the product of 25 years of hard work. of all the many hours we drove in the snow and rain during the winter, with our hands so cold that we had to heat them up by the grill. all those ‘sour’ hours that we worked that all culminated in one perfect lap at the right time.” all that training is what has given kevin the right instincts to pull off that lap.  

luna kristofi (danish reporter): “[...] and then everyone who usually get pole just stood and waited for kevin. [...] he kept his helmet on and normally drivers do that to hide anger, but i think kevin kept it on to hide all the tears.” his physio, nikolaj, said that everyone were shouting kevin’s name, no one really knew what to do because they had not been in the situation before. he described it as the craziest 200 metres of his life.  

gene called kevin right after quali and congratulated him. he was pretty calm, but very excited and happy to see his car and driver on pole.  

random mai observations: kevin kept hugging jesper and nikolaj... and everyone else pretty much. all the haas staff got big bear hugs. official new piece of kevin lore: he is definitely a hugger. and it was also very moving to see so many different people congratulating kevin, there were staff from aston martin, from red bull and so on who all went up and congratulated him. the trainers from all the teams also went up to nikolaj and congratulated him and said that haas fully deserved it. kevin described it as the underdog story that f1 needed. it is clear that the whole paddock was excited for k-mag and haas, i also believe this is evidence of kev’s popularity within the paddock. like mick said then kevin basically knows everyone in the paddock.

the comeback 

kevin was in the studio for the last race of the season in 2021 and he believed that max verstappen would become world championship.  

he did not contact guenther after seeing that mazepin had lost his contract because kevin thought it was totally impossible. but then when he saw guenthers name on his phone, he guessed what his old boss wanted to ask him. kev said yes immediately, but then realised that he probably needed to talk to his wife and family, becoming unsure if it was the right thing to do. so he asked guenther for a day to consider it. jan said that kevin’s biggest worry was to lose out on time with his daughter.   

jesper heard the kevin rumours but did not actually believe it. however, kevin called him and said it was true. and all jesper could think of was that picture of herbie that k-mag posted, he thought that meant kevin had burned his bridges. but as kev said then it was just banter and he knew the team would find it funny. kevin says that haas is a very relaxed team, they don’t take themselves super seriously and there are no big egos. he is sure that other teams would not have found it funny.   

kevin was unsure if he could perform on the highest level from the get go. he was surprised by his p5 and he said the team went absolutely nuts. apparently one the mechanics cracked upon his lip during the wild celebrations in the garage. he could barely hear his engineer from the noise in the garage when he crossed the finish line in p5. 

jeddah and new physio nikolaj 

jeddah is the hardest track of the season when it comes to the neck which was bad timing for kevin since it was only the second race  

kevin said to the team to only fuel him for one quick lap per set of tyres because he could not manage to do two like everyone else did, his neck simply would not let him and he ended up losing all control of his neck and it just flopped around   

nikolaj, his new physio for the season, said that they have had to do a lot of treatment on kevin’s neck during the season. sometimes the treatments would even happen into the night and they would both be half asleep. and the treatments are painful, so kevin has really suffered through it during the 2022 season.   

kevin enjoyed being lazy during 2021 and admitted to not having spent a lot of time in the gym. luna said that it was easy to see he had not been hitting the gym a lot and they all knew he would go through a world of pain until he was back in shape. but kevin started working hard in the gym as soon as he signed the contract with haas.   

k-mag and nikolaj are really good friends. they like travelling the world together. in the documentary, we see them in the car planning a camping trip together.