#but i have to be in the perfect headspace to read any given book

[baladric]

after two decades of trying, i have finally gotten my weird brain to work with a discworld novel ;u;

[terapsina]

Ask game for people who like to ramble about their obsessions. So.

SEND ME A FANDOM (+ number) AND I WILL TELL YOU...

...the moment in the story that I started shipping my OTP from this world.

...my three favorite characters and why I love them so much.

...which scene I would like to erase from the universe and why.

...why you should choose to check out the world of this story and choose three gifs that should underline my point.

...the scene from it that lives in my head rent free.

...which is my favorite platonic or familial relationship in this world.

...how likely I am to follow the writers and directors from this project to their other ones and why.

...a quote from it that means a lot to me.

...which characters I think should have interacted more in canon.

...how many fics I've read that are set in it (approximately and making exaggerated guesstimates).

...what I think of the central character(s).

...what attracted me into checking it out.

...which canon or popular fanon relationship I can't stand or feel 'meh' about and why.

...if I think the largest majority of fics I crave for it are fix-its, nobody-dies-everybody-lives, fluffy fics of my OTP, pining fics for my OTP, or plot heavy Gen stories?

...which character I would choose for the chopping block if I knew the writers wanted to kill someone.

...which character's death would (or did) make me rage-quit.

...the world-building aspect of the story I have the greatest admiration for.

...the perfect number of books/seasons/movies needed to tell this story properly.

...one behind-the-scenes trivia fact I've learned somewhere and my thoughts on it.

...exactly how little or how much headspace this fandom takes up in my brain at any given point.

SEND ME A SHIP (+ number) AND I WILL TELL YOU...

...about my absolute favorite of their scenes and why I love it so much.

...why I do or don't ship them.

...if there's a scene involving them that makes me uncomfortable.

...how many other characters in my opinion see the chemistry of this couple before the couple itself does.

...the three most perfect OTP tags that I can come up with for them.

...what kind of AU fics I'm obsessed with reading about them (or would be if I could find one).

...the scene that I like to point to as proof that they're perfect for each other.

...if I'm most interested in fics about them that focus on fluff, angst, humor, smut or actual plot?

...what my ideal endgame for them is.

...rate the level of stupid they reach in their pining.

...how quickly I started shipping them when I got into the fandom.

...about three of the scenes that make me have feelings and (if available) find the gifs that underline my points.

...if I can watch them in relationships with other characters without feeling gutted.

...which tropes I think describe them the best.

...how I wish their story would go/would have gone.

...three of my fic recs for this ship. And (in the event that I've written something for them) one of my fics involving them that I'm most proud of.

...three of my favorite fanvids for this ship. And (in the event that I've created something for them) one of my videos involving them that I'm most proud of.

...three of my favorite fanart or edits for this ship. And (in the event that I've created something for them) one of my art or edits involving them that I'm most proud of.

...if this is a ship that's likely to take up room in my heart for years and decades to come or if they're the summer romance that will probably fade into the past with a fond memory.

...how and when they should get/should have gotten together.

SEND ME A CHARACTER (+ number) AND I WILL TELL YOU...

...why I love them, like them or hate them.

...how I would have chosen to change their story from canon.

...if I have an OTP for them.

...if I have NOTP for them.

...if I feel like the writers mistreat them or if the story would be better if they were taken down a peg.

...the scene that I think shows just how awesome they really are.

...the scene that I think adds depth to their character or the relationship this character has with someone.

...a headcanon I have about this character.

...which of their relationships I would have cultivated more if it were up to me (both romantic and platonic).

...if I liked them immediately or if took a while before I warmed up to their character. Alternatively, if I disliked them immediately or if they lost my trust as their story progressed.

...how well I actually understand them. Do they feel like a very vivid character to me or are they kind of bland and hard to get invested in?

...how likely I am to seek out (or write) fanfiction for them.

...how I'd do it if they had to be written out of the story.

...what I think they want more than anything else.

...what I think their role in the story is versus what I think it should be.

...my very shallowest of opinions on this character.

...how well they'd do if they got dropped in a horror movie.

...whether or not I would personally trust them to be my friend.

...a song that describes how I feel about this character.

...my queer headcanon for them. Unless they're canonically queer, in which case whether or not I think they're good representation or kinda badly explored.

[nostalgic-woodwind]

Could I request headcanons about Dobie (ACNH) being a caregiver? He radiates such sweet grandpa vibes!!

🐺📚 Caregiver!Dobie Headcanons 📚🐺

📚 Dobie's voice claim is Keith David, same voice actor for Husk from Hazbin Hotel (don’t watch the show if you’re a minor, it’s an adult cartoon). The wolf's voice may be gruff, but it is also very calming to listen to.

📚 Dobie lets you call him “Papa” or “Grandpa/Granddad”.

📚 Dobie has grown up with a sibling, so he has experience in taking care of others (Nookipedia).

📚 Dobie has an authoritative/gentle parenting style. He has grown up with strict, authoritarian parents who were explosive with their tempers. Being a caregiver has given Dobie a chance to break the cycle and validate your feelings while setting fair rules and boundaries (go to bed on time, help with chores because teamwork makes the dream work, etc.).

📚 Whenever it's time to help with chores, he makes them fun by letting you choose what to do (as long as it's safe of course, like helping make the beds, organizing your toys and cleaning up the play area, etc.). He also puts on music or makes chores into fun games.

📚 He's firm but very calm whenever he has to discipline you. He talks about what happened and/or puts you in timeout whenever you misbehave (depending on your headspace age). He also believes in natural consequences.

📚 Dobie has made mistakes from time to time by yelling whenever his emotions got high, but he always apologized for his actions. He’s not perfect, but he wasn’t going to raise you the way he was raised as a pup.

📚 Whenever you watch TV or your iPad, he always gives you limited screen time. He also gives you minute reminders (10 minutes until screen time is over, 5 minutes, etc.).

📚 Dobie always lets you pick out a book (or a few ^^) from his library. He even has his own children's corner for littles to come pick out books, read, and do other fun stuff (puppet shows, arts and crafts, etc.).

📚 Dobie loves reading and telling stories to you. Storytime is a part of your routine. He also reads bedtime stories whenever it’s naptime or bedtime.

📚 He also writes stories for you, whether it be about your toys/stuffies or based on any drawings you draw.

📚 He loves neutral and beige colors and will get you some neutral-colored toys. However, he will also get you bright or pastel-colored toys (whatever you prefer), too, because he's not going to let you grow up as a sad beige kiddo. /lh (If you don’t like bright-colored or pastel-colored toys, it is perfectly okay. It does not make you any less of an age regressor/dreamer /gen)

📚 He teaches you about mindfulness to help you calm down whenever you have big emotions. He also teaches you meditation.

📚 Dobie loves to take you on nature walks. He gives out simple facts about whatever you stumble across (insects, flowers, fish). He’s a Blathers 2.0 /pos ^^

[pb-dot]

Writer Q&A Tag

Full disclosure, this is my second attempt at writing this tag. After I was mentioned by @mthollowell-writes I started filling in the questions with the enthusiasm I usually show for these kinds of things. Then, I actually double-checked the post and discovered I was not tagged, but rather mentioned as an inspiration. This flustered me to the point where I plain forgot to read the next line encouraging those tagged in this way to participate as well, and so, not wanting to be gauche, I deleted the post-to-be. Now I know better, and found the whole thing humorous enough to share, so good on me, I say. Q&A below the cut

1)What motivates you to write?

Writing just makes me happy. I might hem and haw about the obscure pain of trying to nail my thoughts to the page, as well as the sheer nightmare that is editing the result, but the truth of the matter is that writing lets me be a happier person. Part of it is no doubt that it allows me to unload one of the several stories I've got rolling around in my head at any given time, and part of it is that I just enjoy the process of it, forming formless thoughts into linear sentences and linear sentences into more or less coherent paragraphs,and so on.

2) A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

The description of Jake's first impressions of 13 sticks with me. I can't quite decide if I think it's good or if I just think it's good-shaped, but it'll do for this example.

There was something with the pensive look in the eyes of the strange young man that just drew out the similes. His eyes weren’t blue, they were like a perfect sky; His hair wasn’t blond and tightly cropped, it was like freshly harvested wheat; His cloak was not over-sized and ill-fitting, it was like an immaterial fog swathing his delicate form. Perhaps the young man could not be comprehended otherwise, at least Jake couldn’t.

3) Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

I am very fond of the main couple of my book, Jake and 13. There's just something about the slow but inexorable and unashamed way these two grow to rely on each other that really works for me. They both have good cause to be cynical about the world and everything in it, but despite this, there's something about how they are together that allows them to be vulnerable and gentle with each other, and that's the kind of thing that makes me smile.

4) What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

I love the drafting process. Getting words on the page in the form they're supposed to have just fills me with energy, and every time I add a detail that flourishes into a whole subplot or important worldbuilding detail I feel an incredible level of mastery that just fills me with energy. That's not an everyday occurrence, to be clear, but a couple of times per draft I'll get into the "wait, what does that bit I added on a whim imply exactly"-headspace, and often that leads to the discovery of something neat!

5) What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

Oh, now this is hard for me. Not because I don't know what to say, but because anything that might constitute bragging is just difficult for my brain to handle. That said, I think I'm really strong on structure and plot, thinking about characters and their struggles and development in terms of part of an overarching story just comes naturally to me and I enjoy working on that scale.

6) What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

I honestly just love the very specific kind of commiseration writers show to each other, and Writeblr captures it perfectly. There's just something refreshing about posting something like "got distracted from writing by worldbuilding, got distracted from worldbuilding by research about Parisian sewers through history" or whatever and have people popping up like "Oh if I had a dollar every time that happened."

7) A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

I'm a Scrivener boy, and I must say a couple of features of that program help my writing a sizable amount. I enjoy how it's offline and not integrated or associated with any level of AI fuckery on any detectable level. The way it organizes your manuscript on a chapter-chapter level and the chapters on a scene-scene level has also been very useful for getting nitpicky with the structure, in addition to finally getting me to organize my writing into chapters which I had dragged my feet on for months at that point.

8) A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

I just got done writing up a lengthy summary of The Coal Wars that set the stage for my setting, so while I hatelove it on the level I hatelove most of my ideas, it'll be my pick for this. In short, the city the story takes place in isn't commonly referred to by name because the name it used to have, Imil, is so closely related to the name of the empire it used to be the capital of, Imelia. Imelia was an expansionist maritime empire that maintained colonies and suzerainties all over the world until its chief colony Pelia declared independence after a series of unpopular taxes were levied against them along with the kind of draconic control that an empire might employ against its subjects. This declaration led to a spreading wildfire of requests and demands for emancipation from Imelia's other colonies.

Long story short, Imelia declared war on all of them in an act of imperial hubris. Because control of coal production was such a big deal for the Imelian empire's steampunk technology, these wars were known as The Coal Wars. These wars ended up bankrupting Imelia, and with the hereditary line of emperors cut off with the last empress' death, the whole nation was at a perilous tipping point.

What ultimately decided the fate of the empire was a bunch of the government's debtors and creditors banding together and deciding to repossess the imperial palace, which led to a scuffle between the debtors' private security and the remaining government and their loyalists that saw the last government of Imelia fall in a rather ignoble way. Not wanting to get into the mess of inheriting Imelia's many problems by claiming the throne, the debtors declared the nation of Imelia defunct and went back to their business consolidating industrial and real estate holdings while their security and private military forces maintained a sort of peace in the city.

9) What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

If you are like me and writing in and of itself brings you joy, try to find little moments of calm or clarity to write a bit. Doesn't have to be much. Just fiddling with some sentences or correcting obvious mistakes in your text can be enough to keep your writing fresh in your mind until better days come along.

If you're less energized by the act of writing itself and it's an actual drain on you, I recommend you to not worry about it. Take a break. Rest. Maybe read or watch some fiction, go see some friends, and live whatever slice of life you can in your current state. It might not seem like it, but this is a vital part of writing as well, since you need a steady stream of impressions and thoughts and feelings to fuel your writing, in addition to needing them to live a fulfilling life of course.

10) Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters

I should be way better at reading other writeblrs stuff honestly. There's some good stuff in here. That said, I do enjoy reading up on @stesierra multitude of projects and @dyrewrites' dark, wicked, and delightful Pale Blood. I also have a longer list of people I just like seeing pop up. In no particular order: @anxious-andconfused @starbuds-and-rosedust @words-after-midnight @holdmyteaplease @teacupsandstarlight @ettawritesnstudies @simonambroise @writingamongther0ses @leisoree @wrenofthewords @isabellebissonrouthier @rickie-the-storyteller @robin-writes-a-lot @scifimagpie and of course @mthollowell-writes

Everybody mentioned above can consider themselves tagged in this. I also wouldn't mind getting to know the following people a mite better: @maskedemerald @deadhunter-series @your-absent-father and @unspokenvastlywritten

[yournameoneverypage]

didn't you start around the time of Shawmila round one ,or am I mistaken here ?

and you did like and support Shawn (and Camila) back then ,at that time.

so ,I'm wondering ,as why you clearly seem to have a problem with Shawmila round two ,atm ?

also wanted to give my feedback on your latest story ,I think that didn't do as well as you're used to ,is coz it doesn't have the same flow to it ,your reglar readers are used to seeing coming from you (btw: I read a story -actually think it's part of a book ,if I remember correctly- with a very similar style and theme to it ,prior on wattpad ,being completely honest ,it reminds me more of that ,than of your previous works) .

that's my opinion ,anyways ...

closing off with a question ,are you planning on doing smth Shawmila (I mean ,that book of yours ,that was already on hiatus ,and now with Shawmila ,appearing as if the breakup was all just a dream ,and time stood still ,or smth ,you're definitely not going to continue with an oc ,or am I thinking (perfectly) wrong (on this topic ,as well) ) ?

(ps :didn't expect your comeback so soon ,the way you were sounding so negatively ...)

I’ve been a fan of Shawn’s for just over four years, but I didn’t start my Shawn tumblr till early April 2021. (Happy belated two-year tumblrversary to me?)

No, I’ve never been a fan of Camila’s, nor have I ever liked them together. I don’t believe you’ll find anything about her in my archives. I tried never to disrespect her (publicly) because of my respect for Shawn, that’s all. So, having never liked them together, and seeing the state he was in for so long following their split, and how he seemed to be doing SO well without her recently, his choice to begin again with her is disheartening. I love him and only want the best for him, and in my personal opinion, she’s not it. I don’t want to see him hurt again.

Thank you for your honest opinion on my last story, and I agree with you about the flow. It’s definitely not one of my better stories and I have moments where I wish I hadn’t posted it. (I even apologized to my friend, who was the requester, that it wasn’t better, but bless her heart, she still said she loved it.) Idk if you follow me, and if you do, for how long you have been, but in previous posts of mine, and for awhile now, I’ve spoken about my struggles with my writing. I haven’t opened any of my documents/started requests/WIPs since then. I’m not currently in the right headspace. I don’t feel like I can give my best right now, and I don’t want to post anything (else) subpar.

I’m not a regular reader on Wattpad, - I can probably count on maybe two hands how many stories I’ve read over there, - so any similarities to any story over there was completely unintentional. I won’t hesitate to remove FF if ever necessary. The only person I’ve ever intentionally plagiarized is myself (taking pieces of earlier, incomplete stories and fitting them better into new ones).

I’d still like to complete my OC story, with my OC character. I really don’t want “Some Girl” to be just another abandoned story. I’m just not sure how long that’s going to take. And no, Camila won’t be returning in any capacity. Why would I write him back with Camila in any way when Charlotte is perfect for him?

I haven’t fully returned to tumblr (or any social media), - three reblogs/posts and a few asks after ten days is hardly a “comeback”. I just don’t want people to think I’ve given up on Shawn, because I haven’t. 💕

Thank you for the ask, anon. 🫶🏻

[phoenixapprentice]

Writing is Work. Reading is Work as Well!

Everyone knows that writing takes a lot of work, particularly novel writing. When I think about writing, I think not only of the physical tolls of wittering at a desk for hours on end, but of the mental tolls: the doubt, the imposter syndrome, the writer's block, the ripping out of one's soul and pasting it to the prose. We as writers take relief in that after all our toil, we can recline and relax with someone else's words.

Or can we?

I am of the belief that reading is work as well as writing! Many readers today, it seems, expect authors to do all the work, catering to their every need; but this kind of world view can become detrimental to the reader. I can attest to this. For a time, I had no interest in reading anything—I couldn't find books that filled the myriad of expectations I had. The only good thing that came from this is that I wrote more so I could compensate for my disappointment in others. But even so, my writing withered from a lack of exposure to diversity.

I quickly learned my problem: the expectations I put on other authors did nothing to them and only robbed me of my joy. If I went into a story expecting one thing and got another, I would be filled with negative emotions: disappointment, irritation, and maybe a bit of condescension. I thought to myself, 'I could write something better than this!' But the problem was those negative feelings shuttered me from the true experiences of the book, experiences that—if I had not allowed my ego to get in the way—I would have enjoyed greatly. I might have appreciated the characters more, or the plot progression, or the message of the book, if I had slowed down and really tried to reach for what the author was saying. If I had considered why they had done something rather than writing it off as 'bad,' then I might not have lost interest in reading for so many years.

The way I see it, reading is a lot like having a conversation. It takes active listening and understanding. It's a relationship between author and reader, and a relationship requires effort on both sides. If the reader behaves as a house guest, expecting the author to cater to their every need, then they will be undoubtedly disappointed in areas; but if they treat the author as a friend, a relative, an acquaintance, then it becomes a symbiotic relationship where there may be struggles, but they are worked through. They are understood. A person who is chronically a guest without putting forth any effort into the relationship or their situation has a name—a moocher.

What does that mean for readers, then? Reading and writing are not merely crafts for entertainment. They are the vessels which carry information from one mind to another, which pass on experiences impossible and fantastic and allow us a temporary step out of our own shoes. In this age where instant gratification precedes hard work and diligence, reading and writing also find themselves victims of the convenience epidemic. We want something that will distract us. We want something that will entertain us. We want it now, now, now! But when it's given to us? We whine and complain.

Let me tell you this—there are better uses of time and energy than to hang upon how we think a book should have ended. There are better uses of headspace than to focus on a dislike of character, prose, or perhaps even an entire book. Of course, this is not to shut down genuine criticism—but so much criticism does not come from a place of genuineness. It comes from a place of bias, a place of taste, a place of expectations. It comes from a reader being a house guest and not a collaborator working to understand the author and the story.

It's tough to eliminate expectations. I'm not perfect at it. When I crack open a new book, whether I'm aware of it or not, there's always something invisible lurking in the back of my mind, waiting to spoil my enrichment. But when we as readers begin to remove ourselves from the expectation of what we think writing should be—when we step away from what is "current" or "popular" and think more deeply about the whys, the author's intentions, their hard work, their backgrounds, and their reasons for writing—then we shift into a more open mindset. We are more willing to listen to what the author is saying instead of what we think they should be saying. Because unless we've paid the author personally to write this story, they haven't written it for any of us. They've written it for themselves. A painter does not unpromptedly create a work of art found in the confines of another mind. If artists could do that, then they'd be telepaths, and they'd probably rule the world.

An author spends years on a book that may be read in only a half hour; as readers, it is our duty to honor that work. We must partake in their vision instead of mooching off of it. In doing so, the worlds of genre and literature become more than paltry boxes of entertainment—they become ships ready to chart the waters of human connection.

[thekatebridgerton]

So I'm a bridgeton noob, I hadn't read any of the books and when the show came out last year I was just not in a headspace to watch anything new (if that makes any sense). Anyway fast forward to the season 2 clip being released. I decided to watch because why not? I was on youtube and bored and you can't really go wrong with a short clip of two beautiful people in regency outfits right? Right. So the clip from season 2 pretty much instantly got me invested in season 2. I hope whoever chose that clip to release got a bonus because it was the perfect one to get people hyped for season 2. I mean an enemies to lovers regency romance? Sign. me. up.

So after I watched the S2 clip and had decided to watch S2 when it comes out I figured I'd better watch S1. I enjoyed S1 a lot but I definitely found myself more interested in the side stories and supporting characters than the main romance. As gorgeous and sexy as Rege-Jean Page is the romance between Daphne and Simon is a bit meh. Normally I do like the fake dating trope but this one just didn't do it for me.

So now I'm reading TVWLM for the first time and I'm really enjoying it. There are so many moments I cannot wait to see brought to life on screen (like any scene with Newton!!!) and I'm really curious as to how they are going flesh out things for the rest of the characters (Eliose in particular, I LOVED her in S1). Re the Pall Mall scene - its hilarious and I cannot wait to see it but I have to say I am now rolling my eyes at all the people saying "how are they going to make the Pall Mall scene work without Simon!!!" Seriously? Simon is BARELY in that scene and doesn't do anything of note, they could replace him with literally anyone else (my money is on Benedict) and it wouldn't make a difference at all. The key players in that scene are Kate, Anthony, Colin and Edwina.

The wedding night scene is one that I am both excited to see and worried about what they are going to with it on the show. Once they actually get down to things its great, its hot, romantic and tender and even funny in places. Basically everything you want in a first time scene in a show like Bridgeton. But the lead up has a couple slightly problematic moments and I'm worried how the show is going to handle them, especially given their poor handling of the the problematic scene with Daphne and Simon (which I understand is still an improvement from the book). Don't get me wrong, while I've no doubt that Anthony would have given Kate a week, or however long she needed, if she truly wasn't ready and didn't want to consummate their marriage on the wedding night, it was still pretty off-putting to see Anthony say no to her request to wait. And don't even get me started on his "I don't like being denied my [marital] rights" line. I don't care if that's a historically accurate thing for a dude to say in regency times, its still gross and I'm annoyed at Julia Quinn for including it. And while on the one hand it is hot that Anthony wants Kate as badly as he does, (and of course we the reader know that he's been lusting after her pretty much from the moment they met) it still rubbed me the wrong way to see him say "I can't wait a week, Kate. I simply cannot do it". IMHO in 2022 it would be really bad look for a show like Bridgeton to have their romantic hero saying "no" to a request from his love interest to wait to consummate the marriage.

Anyways sorry for rambling on for so long! Feel free to ignore this.

All this is so true and valid.

I'd like to add that yeah, Anthony not taking Kate's refusal during their wedding night, probably wouldn't fly in 2022. But everyone in the production is promising pretty steamy scenes. So I imagine a lot of Kate and Anthony hot and heavy scenes have been added and a lot of the problematic ones have been filmed with a better understanding of what makes them problematic.

Remember we are not seeing Kate's face during her wedding night, Anthony is. I know he's horny as hell by that point but if she looked eager instead of nervous. Or excited instead of wary of him, By just watching her face, he could rightfully deduce that she's simply holding something back instead of outright rejecting him and talk to her about it without coming off as pushy. Which would make the scene play out a little different.

It all depends on how the actors play that scene (Simone baby we're counting on you) But I'm hopeful it's going to be more humorous than tense, because Anthony initially takes it in such a personal overdramatic way of his in a 'why don't you want me!!! I thought I was pretty' sort of reaction.

And when Anthony is being such a drama queen I can't take him seriously. I really can't. He probably could have waited the week, he's a tough guy we know. But he was about get on his knees and beg Kate for mercy. Because he knows she's into him or at least she was into him the last time he kissed her if she changed her mind during their wedding night, he's really going to lose his mind.

And I'd like to add that at this point of the story Anthony knows he's trash ok, he's messed up so much the only thing he's got going for him is his body. If she doesn't want to bang him then really he's run out of options.

To some people wedding night Anthony might come off as problematic with his inability to take no for an answer. But to me he just comes off as the height of funny. Because the scene shows he's just as insecure as Kate, he just hides it better.

And I look forward to seeing how the show handles this scene. It will probably be so good

[whump-town]

Stubborn

Everybody taking care of old Hotch because... I don't like it when old Hotch gets left to just die on his own :( don't ask why that's where I draw the line

No pairings

No warnings

In Jack’s second semester of his junior year, Hotch collapses again. He’s home this time, out in his garden under the glaring sun. The day had begun no different than any other. The birds on the powerline chirping and causing their disturbances, as eager for the day to begin as the school-aged children shouting in the street. He’d watched them from the sliding glass door facing the street, his tea warm in his hands. He’d waved at a few, the older ones who recognize him as a mystifying adult with stories to be unlocked. The younger children give him a face akin to a monster’s, his mystery horrifying in their already confusing enough lives.

It’s an hour before lunch. Two hours before Spencer shows up because it’s Thursday and he teaches a class on this side of town every Tuesday and Thursday at 2. One that he occasionally asks Hotch to attend -- as a guest lecturer, as a treat to his students, or just for the company.

He could call just about anyone.

Emily’s downtown, on her way back from a meeting with the Department of Justice. She’d be thrilled for an excuse to not go back to the office and spend an hour or two in his kitchen telling him about those pretentious assholes.

Garcia’s about ten minutes away, working at a nonprofit teaching “at-risk” kids how to code. Being the guiding hand she’d needed as a teenager so that they might not repeat the same mistakes she made. She was lucky, Hotch saved her but he’s not around to catch any more kids like her.

Morgan got hired by a family two streets over to fix up their house before they move in. He’s there now, tearing out rotting beams.

This collapse is not of the life-threatening kind. Not to Hotch at least. There’s no internal bleeding, no emergency surgeries. He doesn’t even need stitches but he’s on so many medications that thin his blood that it’s just on the safer side. From the hospital, he calls who he needs to. Reid first, he’ll worry when he gets to Hotch’s house and sees his truck gone. Then, Jack, it’s better to hear this sort of thing from him and not Emily in half an hour when she needs to yell at someone and who better than the son of the idiot she hates right now? Dave and Emily follow and he trusts them to carry the news the rest of the way. Rather, he simply doesn’t want to talk about it anymore and he’d rather Garcia and JJ and Morgan and everyone else just be mad at him than go on to have another conversation about how he’s feeling.

Fine. He just got light-headed. It was the heat and his perpetually low iron and probably his thin blood (the killer had been his blood pressure but they’re working on that). He just needs to get better about remembering to eat breakfast -- a larger breakfast than just tea and toast. Fainting, he assures Dave, happens. Jack’s seen it happen. The heat makes it worse, the summertime drains him. He’s come in from the garden and gotten weak in the knees plenty of times. He actually moved some chairs around the sliding glass door to the yard, prepared for this exact problem.

This over clarification does not help.

Made only the more complicated when he explains his head is fine. The fainting thing really isn’t a big deal, he just needs a ride home. He’d landed weirdly and pulled his back. He left with a new problem entirely, a torn ligament in his shoulder. That is a problem for a different day.

The surgery is set for the week just before Jack’s finals. Armed with a suitcase full of textbooks, his laptop, notes from this semester (and a few from last), and just enough clothes to recycle a few and still be fine, Jack shows up on his father’s doorstep. “I mean, the hospital isn’t exactly the library… but it’s not the worst place I’ve studied.” It’s far too late to send Jack back but Hotch is reluctant to let him stay. Even if he does prefer Jack be his ride rather than the likes of Penelope and that tiny green eye-sore of a car she drives or leave him to Reid and his defensive, jerky driving.

To the sound of “Aaron Hotchner November 2, 1971”, Jack settles down with his books. He tries to put himself in the right headspace for studying but it’s harder than he anticipated. The constant motion of the room unsettles him and he looks up several times to see his father’s reaction. To gauge the anxiety in his face, in the deep breathes that he pulls in through his nose. In how tight his fists are holding the sheets underneath him. It’s a simple surgery and they’ll be out of here in no time.

“Young” his heart had not handled the heavy sedatives and morphine well. Then again, those incidents are always hard to measure against a thing like this. Rushed into the ER with nine chest wounds and having nearly bled to death, it’s natural to conclude the stress of his depleted blood supply and his very recent trauma had caused his heart to stop on the table. That said trauma was the reason his heart had maintained to be a steady problem up until they released him. Again, when he was brought in with some of the worst internal bleedings the staff had ever seen. His heart had given them trouble too.

Jack is staring blankly at his flashcards when the doctor comes out.

Hotch had gone to Georgetown to be a lawyer like his father and his grandfather. Jack went to Georgetown to get an Art History degree. He was lead by something else. Not chasing some shadow, clutching at a lie he spoonfed himself. Jack didn’t live in anyone’s shadow, never felt the pressure to look and act a certain way. Was never beaten into submission or told to hold his tongue. Jack went to museums every Saturday with his father, preferred them to the aquariums and the zoo. Hotch held him close to the artwork, pushed his dense schedule around to go to new shows, and learned the names of pieces just to recite the knowledge back to Jack.

In his lap, Jack is memorizing pieces of art like his father had years ago for him. He’s stuck on The Anatomy Lesson, eyes glued to the details. The way colorless skin is held in forceps, peeled back to reveal angry red. He can feel the pinching teeth on his own skin, feels the heavy flow of hot blood spilling down over his arm.

“Hotchner?”

Jack flinches, caught completely off guard. He stands, flushing as he tucks his notecards into his textbook, and stands. “Ugh, yeah. That’s me.” He wipes his hands off on his pants, rubbing away the nervous sweat he’s built up.

The doctor recognizes him from earlier. He’d watched Jack and Hotch get out one last goodbye. Jack pulling up a nervous smile, dirty-blonde hair, and light eyes a complete contrast to Hotch’s ever-darkening features. Somehow more solemn, voice taken by the sedatives already working through his body. He hadn’t said a word, eyes vacantly following Jack’s movements but unaware.

Jack expects the same monologue he hears every time. The one that comes out so dry and perfect that they must practice it in front of the mirror, say it softly to themselves as they as they get ready each morning. He’s got it memorized himself -- the bits about recovering in post-op, make a full recovery, and whatever on the fly timeline they give for access back to the room.

“But he’s-- He’s okay? He’s--”

Jack feels impossibly childish. Five years old and Emily’s chilled fingers brushing his tears away, “baby, I know you miss your mommy. But you’re being so terribly mean to your daddy.” He had been, a terrible little monster squirming away from his father and refusing to eat anything. Throwing tantrums about nothing and everything. Screaming and crawling under his bed every chance he got. Pushing himself to the wall knowing he couldn’t be reached.

Now he can remember Hotch just sitting at the edge of the bed. There on the floor for hours. Sometimes he read, would pick up a book, and just start from wherever just to make it so his voice was reaching where he couldn’t. He slept there too, on the hard ground just to make sure Jack knew he was there. Slipped strawberry pop tarts on crazily designed animal plated under there, offered bites of his own food to the darkness under the bed. Sippy cups full of chocolate milk and juice.

He feels like a little boy again, getting news that he has no idea how to handle.

“He’s okay?” Jack stammers. “He’s going to be okay? I can see him?”

Hotch remembers those days under the bed too. Waking up in the middle of the night as Jack groggily curled close to him, still under the bed but crawling under his blanket. The ends of those awful sobs, Jack’s little chest jerking as he hiccuped. The force of his sorrow was too much for his little body. And Jack would fall into his lap, exhausted and needing comfort. His little fingers tracing the scars on Hotch’s face. How he whispered “thank you” and “please” from underneath the bed and how he’d pop his head out to say, “Daddy, I’m going to potty. I’ll be right back.”

Jack’s legally old enough to drink now and Hotch still sees that little boy. The three-year-old wiping his snot on Hotch’s dress shirt. The six-year-old holding his hand and reminding him to look both ways twice before crossing the street. The eight-year-old he left the hallway light on for, old enough now to think he needed to brave the night without a nightlight. So Hotch would offer to keep the hallway light on, not for Jack but for him because he doesn’t like the dark. The ten-year-old sheepishly offering him a father’s day gift he bought with saved allowance, a t-shirt he’s now worn the words off of. The fifteen-year-old curling up beside him on the couch, seeking his comfort but not sure how to ask anymore. The eighteen-year-old as tall as him talking his ear off while he tries to get dinner ready, sticking his fingers in the pan and sitting on the counter.

How did he grow up so fast?

He’s not a little boy anymore. Hasn’t been for a long time.

The creaking of a chair moves Hotch’s attention and he looks away from Jack. Away from the sight of his little boy curled up on a cot, drooling onto a pillow and notebook still open, a pen dangling from his fingers. He looks over and Emily’s sitting up, her reading glasses precariously sat on the tip of her nose. “Oh look,” she mumbles. She stretches out, groaning as her joints complain from being held in this miserable hospital chair for hours. “You’ve decided to join the land of the living.”

Hotch watches her fold the thin black frames of her glasses up, gently sits them down by his hand as she stands up. Jack had called her, even though he promised he wouldn’t worry anyone. Hotch didn’t want anyone else coming to the hospital over something so small and though Jack protested that their concern wouldn’t be because he was bothering them but because they love him. The very same reason he’d come home is that people gather after these sorts of things. They need reassurance that he’s alive and he’s just going to have to accept that. They compromised in the end, everyone could come to smother him in worry after he got home from the surgery.

But Jack was scared. He called the only person he could think to, the woman whose role in his life that was never really clear. She’d gotten on him about his grades, smacked the back of his head when he said something stupid, and always let him taste-test her wine at Thanksgiving dinner. Emily knew things that not even Jessica knew and she could be sterner than both Hotch and Jessica and also more relaxed, more understanding. She was always there for both of them, in the same capacity as Jessica and yet her own unique one. A friend Hotch trusted and loved and Jack could understand that. His friends always wanted to know if they were dating and he knew intuitively that the answer was no but he would hesitate to try and explain. But he didn’t understand the gravity that pulled them together, adults and their relationships far too complex to fit it into his simple understanding of love.

He did understand she was the only person to call.

“What’d he do this time?” she asked and knew she was playing the wrong role for the wrong Hotchner because no sooner than she could ask she had an armful of Jack. She sat with Jack for hours, let him get his fear out. Held him while he sobbed, felt pulled to the past. When it was Aaron on her shoulder, terrified he’d lose his son. Life has this very odd way of bringing everything full circle.

“I bet you’re hurting.” Emily moves to the table and pours water into the little paper Dixie cup left by the nurses. “Been right dramatic this afternoon,” she informs him, a dissatisfied matter-of-fact tone in play. “I know you find that to be particularly taxing.” She holds the cup for him, gentle despite her annoyance. She’s close enough to see the iodine on his skin. Dark orange swipes across his pale skin, the smell burns with its strength.

He pulls greedily from the cup, mouth impossibly dry. Stopped only by how little she poured, he sinks back heavily into the pillows behind him. His shoulder hot and angry from forcing himself upright.

“They’re going to let you go in the morning,” she says, sitting back down. He won’t remember this in the morning. Emily holding his hand, whispering thickly how angry she is with him as tears fall down her face. How scared she was getting that phone call from Jack, racing down here to be a composed person to comfort his son thinking her best friend was in the morgue.

He’ll wake up with a pit in his stomach, residual feelings from the night before he can’t tie down to memories. Emily shows no inclination to repeat herself, just coldly informs him that she’ll have Penelope make him a cardiologist appointment (it’s unspoken that no one trusts him to do this himself). Jack walks on glass, close by but terrified of being pushed away. Hotch is too out of it to put up much of a fight, by the time the morning shift has their hands on him he’s silent. Properly dosed up for a ride home and out of his mind.

He’s groggily propped up on pillows, watching Jack and Emily fight over if he has the right to wear shoes or not. Emily wants to hold them captive, he won’t run off or refuse the wheelchair without them and Jack shakes his head, “he’s not our P.O.W, Emily. He’s even going to get that far if he does try to run.” He’s given his shoes but Emily makes a point to collect his cane, holds it while the nurse helps him into the wheelchair. He’s a flight-risk and she’s not going to trust him, he’s run off on her too many times for that.

At the house the other’s have gathered up, having nothing better to do evidently on a Wednesday at ten in the morning. Penelope’s frying eggs and bacon, the carnage it takes to feed their brood spread out on his kitchen counter. Reid sitting on the counter, Hank in his lap, and the two of them watching Penelope. Derek’s on the sofa, feet kicked up on the coffee table, and Savannah learning on his shoulder. Dave’s getting orange juice from the store declared them all lawless, and didn’t trust them to get the right kind.

Hotch is granted his cane to get back inside the house but Emily threatens to kick it out from underneath if he tries anything fast. He smacks her ankle and Jack has to actually step between them to keep them apart. It’s in times like these where Jack finds himself wondering how these two ever had any role in raising him at all.

“Don’t you have jobs?” Hotch asks, hooking his cane over the coat rack and toeing his shoes off. He ignores the hand Emily places on his arm, afraid he’ll knock himself over. He manages just fine, has the whole house set up so that every other step is within arms distance of something to lean on. Fingers trailing the back of the couch he limps past Derek, smiling when Savannah offers a soft “glad you’re okay”. She pats his hand and he nods back.

“Up for some food, sir?” Penelope asks and she’s not taking no for an answer. They might be having heaping servings of eggs and bacon and gravy and orange juice but she’s made two small bowls of oatmeal. She takes the medicine Jack tosses up on the counter, puts it at the end where the rest of his medication sits. “I cut up apples,” she tells Hotch with a wide grin, sliding the bowl in front of him. “Dashed a little cinnamon and sugar in there, it’ll stick to your bones. Keep you healthy.”

He’s at a healthy weight at the moment, not as thin as he leans to when he’s sick but with Hotch, it’s always a good thing to have some collateral weight for the “in case”. Lifting the spoon in his left hand he scoops some of the oatmeal up, doing his best to hide his annoyance at how weak his extremities still are. How his hand shakes under the light strain of the oatmeal. He looks up, watches Spencer carry Hank over to the highchair sitting at the table beside him. He’s distracted so Emily swoops in, takes his spoon from his hand, and tries his oatmeal. He lets her do it. He raises an eyebrow and she shrugs. She likes it. He nods, it’s pretty good.

Hank immediately knocks his spoon on the ground and makes a low whining sound in the back of his throat. “Hop help,” he whines, pointing down at his spoon. His speech is still developing so he pronounces help and hop nearly identically but Hotch understands the difference. He just can’t bend over like that. His right arm is still pinned to his chest in an intricate web of gauze and this sling.

“Reid,” Hotch calls. His voice is deep, strained from intubation and anesthesia. It makes him sound sick. “He’s dropped his spoon.”

Reid nods, he already knows.

Hank points to his shoulder and frowns, “Hop fall down?”

Hotch nods, that is pretty much what happened and at the same time, Emily sweeps in and tickles Hank. She presses kisses to his face and making him laugh loudly. “That’s what happens,” she says. “Hops is just old.” Hank is too distracted by the ongoing attack to defend Hotch not that a toddler rising to his defense is very helpful.

Hotch sighs as Jack comes up behind him, stealing his spoon too. He takes a bite of the oatmeal and deems it nearly as good as the kind that Jessica makes. Hotch wants to be annoyed by it and yet all he does is nod and finds himself smirking just a little.

Penelope calls everyone in for breakfast and Hotch ignores the kisses pressed to his cheek as people drag chairs to the table around him. To the hands that slide over his back, assurance of life he remembers Jack calling it.

Derek slides him a mug of tea, made exactly how he likes it. He sits across from Hotch, close to Hank in case either needs assistance. Emily sits to his left, slides her coffee up beside his tea so he can have some if he’s quick about it. Jack sits beside her and the rest is a blur, too much motion at once for him to take in without his contacts or glasses. Penelope slides a tea plate to him, his medicine on it, and kisses his head while he’s still scowling at the plate.

They don’t leave him alone all day.

He ends up taking a nap with Hank, the toddler’s sticky little fingers holding onto his shirt as he finds himself unable to fight off the effects of the medicine and his full stomach.

He’s squished on the couch between Derek and Dave, forced to watch baseball because he can’t worm his way upright again just yet.

They change the dressings on his shoulder, his teeth clenched tightly so that he doesn’t let anything slip.

At midnight he wakes up on the couch. Jack’s bedroom door is shut, he’s sleeping peacefully inside. His heating blanket is pulled up to his chin, the heat turned up all the way. He can’t remember getting into this state himself but he has a fate memory of JJ helping him move his hand to his mouth, encouraging him to take the pain killers before bed. Of Derek making sure he didn’t just fall straight over onto his side. He manages to find Dave stretched out on the Lazyboy -- the chair he got Hotch for his fifty-something birthday. He’ll wake up in the morning to more food being made in his lonely kitchen, JJ this time. She’ll make blueberry waffles.

If he’d wanted attention, Emily will tease the next morning, he could have just asked. And he didn’t even know he wanted this. He never finds the words to ask for it to continue but every Saturday morning it happens anyway -- his kitchen and living room full of pajamas and suits in varying degrees depending on who has what to do that morning. The fainting thing is not cool but he considers this to be a good trade.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What if vampire Bella took Renesmee and ran away with her? What do you think would happen?

Well that would be an entirely different story on so many levels I don’t even know where to begin.

First, when is Bella running away and why?

Per your ask, you specify that Bella is a vampire. This means that this is not beginning of Breaking Dawn AU where Bella, terrified Edward and the Cullens will force her to abort, flees from them in order to save Renesmee’s life (sacrificing her own in the process). 

For the record, though you didn’t ask, I imagine Bella would have a terrible time, starving in the jungle in Brazil, probably drinking the blood of dead road kill until Renesmee pulls an alien and bursts out of her womb and stomach. Renesmee then eats her mother’s corpse.

Edward would never find her because he’s an awful tracker, he’d probably do what he does best, goes to Rio. Eventually, he shows back up on Aro’s doorstep telling him it’s time for assisted suicide again, because Bella is definitely dead this time. Just to make sure they actually do it this time, he walked into Volterra shirtless.

Aro just stares, gets up, and walks out of the room. He has a very terrible phone call to make to Carlisle and then a hybrid vampire (and probably an immortal child) to track down somewhere in South America.

Caius looks at Marcus, Marcus looks at nothing, Caius tries to decide if he’s more insulted by being Edward Cullen’s assisted suicide express or by Edward Cullen’s existence. It’s a very tough call. I imagine that, rather than let Edward slip away again after breaking the law several times over now, Caius goes, “Okay” and lights him on fire.

But you specified that Bella’s a vampire, meaning this is happening post birth and possibly post Breaking Dawn.

To be honest, I think towards the end of Breaking Dawn, Bella’s left the planet. Her world is a surreal haze that has nothing to do with reality. She had this horrific pregnancy, she actually died, went through three days of agony, and is now this alien being.

She prances through fields of flowers in beautiful clothes, she has a lovely five-year-old precocious daughter, he has Edward and a small little cabin where they have the world’s tamest sex, she’s able to keep Charlie in her life, the realities of vampirism are miles away from her.

Bella’s not living on Earth anymore, she’s in the headspace only Esme of the books lives in. And, to be honest, I think Bella’s doomed to become Esme 2.0. Bella will go full incest at high school (as you know she, Renesmee, and Edward will be posing as triplets), probably bake cookies for Renesmee (who probably can’t even eat them), thinks vampire hunts are the equivalent to camping and a wonderful bonding experience, has 0 awareness that every relationship in her life is falling apart, and is just this deeply weird and frankly creepy person.

Renesmee is more... a concept to Bella than a person. I mean, I don’t blame Bella in this, Bella goes from never thinking about having kids to suddenly having an alien five-year-old in a month. How do you process that?

The damning part is Bella thinks she knows her daughter very well. She looks at Renesmee and sees this alien thing that she can’t gauge at all (she keeps trying to guess Renemsee’s physical and mental age in human terms when Renesmee isn’t remotely human, her DNA is completely different, she just has this human shell). Bella concludes she’s very mature and adult in mentality. Renesmee seems to read Bella’s favorite books, (which by the way are really weird reading material for children), and Bella bonds with her daughter by reading Wuthering Heights to her alien child. 

Bella sees a miniature Edward in her child (in terms of sophistication and intelligence) and thinks everything’s wonderful.

Bella’s life is perfect. Everyone else’s lives, including Renesmee’s, are perfect. Why would she ever leave?

So, for Bella to take Renesmee and run, we need a catalyst.

I believe Edward will inevitably cheat on her (yes, I know, I haven’t posted a meta yet but you can’t simply open the dark box labeled Edward Cullen and emerge unscathed, these things take time). But I think that would prompt Bella herself to leave or, more likely, be the Yoko Ono effect that breaks up the Cullen coven.

It’d be devastating, but has nothing to do with Renesmee. I imagine Renesmee would just sit there, eating rats like she’s eating popcorn, looking rather bored as she saw this coming ages ago and she has no idea why everyone’s losing their collective minds.

I also imagine she takes this as permission as that she can eat Edward (I imagine Renesmee and Edward’s relationship is... not good, but that’s for another meta).

The Romanians may come calling and try to sweet talk Bella into the necessity of destroying the Volturi. That, or Edward himself will decide it’s his god given mission to destroy the Volturi and free mankind and vampirekind from their tyranny.

However, while that will result in a horrific dystopia, it doesn’t necessitate Bella and Renesmee breaking off from the coven. That, and Bella’s so far from reality, that I imagine it doesn’t sink in for a long time and perhaps ever that she now lives in a hellscape.

I think it’d have to be a direct threat to Renesmee from Edward. And a clear, non-negotiable, horrifying threat at that (which Edward is fully capable of).

I say Edward, because that would be the biggest betrayal to Bella. After New Moon, I believe that Bella thinks her fate with the family rests on Edward’s opinion alone. Edward can make them flip on her in an instant. If it was someone else threatening Renesmee, then Edward could come with her or they could do something about whoever’s gone crazy.

If Edward decides that, no, it is time to kill the demon child then Bella will lose faith in the entire coven. She’ll panic, and she will run with Renesmee as far and as fast as she can.

Volterra’s off the table thanks to the Breaking Dawn fiasco, I imagine Bella would be too paranoid to seek out any of Carlisle’s friends as she’d lump Carlisle in with the threat that is Edward. So, likely, she and Renesmee would go to Antarctica or somewhere else completely uninhabited.

Edward would go to Rio.

Bella and Renesmee would probably finally talk to one another. Though it’s probably mostly Renesmee trying to deal with the emotional, depressed, mess that is her mother whose entire fantasy has now completely fallen apart.

Renesmee gets to be the new Jake!

Carlisle, meanwhile, is wherever the Cullen family has moved to, trying to process what even happened and what he’s going to do. He’s probably lost all faith in Edward and finally acknowledged that something’s not right and is desperately trying to get a hold of Bella and Renesmee, who aren’t answering his phone calls.

[magioftheseas]

Sonia & Yasuke

Summary: Sonia Nevermind’s FTEs in the SDR2 Protagonist Matsuda Yasuke AU. FUCK YES. A slightly divergent take on the originals.

Rating: PG

Warnings: Language. Brief discussions of cults and kidnapping.

Notes: Sonia was neck and neck with Tanaka for the poll and I was going to do hers soon anyway, so I just went ahead. Sometimes, life just shakes out that way. I really do love Sonia so much. The bias is strongest for Sonia, so I really hope I did her justice. Only the best for our kween. (Btw, the formatting for this couldn’t fully carry through so some stylistic choices on Ao3 are absent here.)

Read this fic among others HERE

Main story is HERE

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He supposed he had been in an antsier mood than usual. In one hand, he read his manga. In the other, he played with and twirled around a pen. He’s practiced enough that he doesn’t need to look. It’s just something for his other hand to do. Something that would, ideally, work off some jitters.

He had almost been too worked up to read. Unfortunately, he’s still having a hard time trying to get into the book. He can’t tell if it’s because the story is dragging itself or because he’s just not in the right headspace. What a nuisance.

He catches the pen between his knuckles, tapping the end against the table. A surprised gasp. A round of applause. Matsuda glances over his book to meet the beaming face of a certain princess. Even in a hotel this cafeteria this tacky, she shone like a precious jewel.

What a nuisance. Except—

“So impressive, Matsuda-san!” she squealed. “You truly have fury skillz, yo!”

I guess of all the people here, she’s the most tolerable.

“Impressive, huh,” he mused. “I could probably twirl a scalpel, too.”

“Ooh!” Sonia clasped her hands. “Matsuda-san! Will you perform?!”

“No.” He shook his head. “I’m not going to risk cutting my fingers just to show off. I’ll twirl the pen some more.”

“Oh, I understand...” Quieting, Sonia still watched him twirl with intent eyes. It’s like he’s center stage at an opera house. Sonia hums and her fingers even twitch along. “Matsuda-san, such talented fingers... I truly do applaud you.”

Matsuda flipped the pen, catching it before it fell to the ground. Sonia let out another gasp and clapped some more, giggling.

“Bravo, bravo!”

Jeez. She’s so likable that it’s sickening.

It’s almost like he wouldn’t have a choice in the matter should the two of them become friends.

I guess...there are worse relationships to be forced into. Even if I already have a headache.

Still, the mood couldn’t help but be lightened whenever Sonia laughed. Scary.

--

His fingers were a bit aching, and holding a cold drink alleviated some of the stinging. Sonia, ever the prim and proper young lady with her mouth shut, simply sipped tea from across the table. The picture of elegance. Even in a cafeteria this tacky.

But it’s not like any location short of the azure sky and sapphire ocean could do someone like her justice.

“This island truly is sublime,” Sonia hummed. “The weather is always so serene, and the ocean is as blue as it is endless! Truly! It’s a perfect resort, wouldn’t you say, Matsuda-san?”

“I don’t know if I’d go as far as to say perfect,” he replied. “There’s a little too much fucking walking. I’m not big on sweating.”

Even if big hospitals had fancier equipment, I still hated having to rush back and forth.

“To be more contained can have its benefits,” Sonia agreed good-naturedly. “Still, I must say I am quite happy with what we have.”

Matsuda hummed right back.

Happy...

“Situation could be better,” he said. “Would really fucking love if we weren’t being held hostage by a homicidal fucking bear.”

“Indeed,” Sonia agreed solemnly. “Quite regrettable.”

Matsuda waited for her to continue, but she merely took another elegant sip. Still the picture of calm. Sonia’s eyes do flicker open and it’s then that Matsuda takes notice of the color. They’re a clear, soft green. It’s a unique shade. One he thinks he’s only seen in...

“As long as no murders take place, everything will be alright,” Sonia spoke with conviction. “What happens next...will depend on our own inclinations and choices.”

I shouldn’t compare them too much.

“That’s a reductive way of looking at it,” he said. “Even if we have the resolve, I don’t doubt that our hands are going to be forced.”

Sonia slammed her cup onto the table. It cracked just the slightest bit.

“Then, we should cooperate with one another so that we can return home as quickly as we can,” she said sunnily. “Matsuda-san, I trust you to tell me any ideas you may come up with. I shall do what I can.”

“Well...” Matsuda directed his stare towards one of the security cameras. “We’d first have to come up with something to do about those.”

“If we simply shattered them, we would get punished severely,” Sonia recalled, lamenting as she did. “We would have to act... And perhaps...”

She dropped into lower mumbles that Matsuda couldn’t make out. Perhaps out of precaution, in case they were being recorded. Matsuda watches her sink deeper and deeper into thought.

Even she can’t be serene and optimistic all the time. She’s still managing better than anyone else here.

“Do you understand, Matsuda-san?” she asked, tone serious. “Or must I repeat myself?”

“If you did, it’d have to be a little louder, so it’d be better if you could write it down discretely and pass it to me later,” he said, sighing. “It’s a little too risky discussing anything out in the open.”

Sonia clapped with glee.

“A handsome remark! This is why I know I can rely on your intelligence and wit, Matsuda-san.” She gave a few nods of approval. “It might be better for our moral to chat amiably for now.” With a dazzling smile, she then inquired, “Is there anything you’d like to ask of me?”

Matsuda blinked at her.

“Not really.” I am curious about one thing. Given the circumstances, it’s best to hold off on that. “What about you?”

“There is something! That I AM quite curious about!” Sonia exclaimed, suddenly excited. “Who has captured your heart? And who do you plan to settle on?!”

Matsuda stared.

“...?”

His head tilted in confusion, so Sonia went on to explain.

“This situation���it is similar to The Summer Story of Seven Men and Seven Women, wouldn’t you say?! The standard practice, then, is to start wavering and swapping partners!”

“The...J-drama?” he asked, no less confused but Sonia was more incited regardless.

“No just the J-drama, the legendary J-drama! The original trendsetter! Starting with an upbeat tone... Before shifting to surprisingly serious!” she swooned. “I couldn’t believe my eyes, and yet I couldn’t look away! Momoko’s feelings...! Wow, so intense!”

“Uh-huh...” Matsuda’s eyes rolled back. “Well... I’m not sleeping with anyone on this stupid fucking island, so it’s not going to be that similar. That, and there are more guys here than girls to begin with...”

“That is true!” Sonia gasped. “Someone will have to be unlucky! I wonder... Who it will be...?”

Didn’t I just say I wasn’t going to...? Not to mention some of the guys flat-out wouldn’t be interested. Although I don’t think that’ll keep someone from being unlucky, huh...

It looked like he wouldn’t get in another word in edgewise.

This still isn’t going to fix the declining birthrate.

At least Sonia seemed to be having a hella time theorizing. Matsuda just let her...do that.

--

“I managed to find a couple of books on Novoselic,” he said, setting the stack of books on the table before a sparkly-eyed Sonia. “Since we don’t have the internet, this was the best I could scrounge up and even then I don’t know if they’re all that accurate.”

“Oh, Matsuda-san, I would have told you anything you needed to know!” She does take one of the books. “That said, I recognize this author. You can trust them! Oh, but this one...” She takes another, frowning. “If I recall... No. You should not trust this one at all. In fact, I would burn every copy of this book.”

“I could kind of tell from the tone,” Matsuda hummed, setting it apart and pushing it far away. Sonia’s frown was still a deep mar on her face. “So, these books are accurate?”

“As I have said, Matsuda-san, I do not mind telling you about my country,” she said, smiling again. “Or! Is this courting? I’m afraid I will have to sadly decline, much as this feels like something out of a J-drama...”

She says while looking disappointed in herself...

“It’s more that I thought you should know what other people are writing about your country,” he said. He paused. “Ah, I guess that was pretty presumptuous of me.”

“Not at all!” Sonia shook her head. “Awareness and control of the media are essential! Not to mention you have informed me of quite the pressed issue! I will have to take care of it when I return...is what a responsible, attentive ruler would say.” She sighed. “Sadly, I will have to inform others and hope for the best.”

She has said in the past that she’s more of a figurehead than a leader.

“That’s a part of being young,” he remarked. “Don’t let it get you down too much. Just prepare for the future to the best of your ability.”

Sonia does giggle at that.

“Matsuda-san... Sometimes, you remind me of the male lead in a J-drama.”

“No comment.”

She laughs again. “In my humblest opinion, the best J-dramas are the ones aimed at women between the ages of 20 to 34. Just before Japan’s economic bubble burst! You would not believe how many times I have seen I Will Arrest Your Eyes! Why, when I first arrived in Japan, the first thing I did was run across the Spain-zaka!”

As fascinating as that all is, what gets my attention is...

“Hold it. Were you calling me mature or were you suggesting that I speak like an old man?”

“You certainly do have a worldly weariness to you, Matsuda-san,” Sonia went on to sigh. “Broody and broken down by life... While it would be attractive on the screen, it is worrisome and exhausting in person.” She perked right back up. “But have no fear! For a fairly dreamy maniac will someday come into your life! And the two of you can partake in the ritual entrapped within the blizzard!”

“I hate the cold,” is Matsuda’s only reply to whatever the fuck all of that was.

“Then when will you cuddle under a blanket in the nude?!” Sonia gasped, aghast. “Will you do so at a different temperature?! Is the blizzard not necessary after all?!”

“First off, you’re referring to a cliché rather than a ritual,” Matsuda said, waving his hand. “Shouldn’t the fact that it was happening during a damn blizzard tipped you off? Not every couple is going to go to the fucking mountains.”

“So...” Sonia quieted. “It is not like the Makango?”

The Makango? Matsuda remembered. Ah, the Makango.

“We don’t have anything like that as far as I’m aware,” he said. “Mind you, I’m...not aware of much...”

Thinking about this gives me a headache. Actually, it really, really fucking hurts right now.

“I see...” Sonia pursed her lips. “So peculiar. Oh!” She blinked, realizing. “Matsuda-san, you look pale.”

“Sorry,” he mumbles, rubbing his forehead with a wince. “I think... I’m gonna check out.”

“You should check out what’s wrong with you!” she exclaimed. “Do better for yourself, Matsuda-san!”

“...right.”

On that note, there wasn’t anything else to do but stumble out.

--

It’s another calm day at the library. Sonia, however, snaps up immediately when Matsuda walks inside. It’s scary how alert the princess is, but that was probably a good thing considering her situation. Matsuda sighed, waving and taking in how she lit up and eagerly saluted him.

He also takes notice of the book that Sonia had been reading. The cover—looks quite gruesome.

“How are you feeling?” Sonia asked kindly. “You are not in pain, yes? Matsuda-san?”

“I’m doing fine,” he said, stretching as he makes his way over. “I’ve been dealing with headache after headache since I got here, so I’ve gotten used to them.”

“I see,” Sonia murmured, downcast and sympathetic. “I will trust you to your own mechanics.”

“Devices,” Matsuda corrected without thinking as he seated himself. “Anyway, I’ll be reading. Don’t mind me.”

He does pull out a manga he brought with him—the library was just a better environment for reading than the cafeteria hence him making the trip. He cracks it open, but he doesn’t get very long to enjoy it. He gets maybe five minutes before there’s a nudge at his side.

He ignores it, but Sonia elbows him with enough force that he nearly yelps. With a now throbbing side, his gaze drops to see a folded-up piece of paper tucked between Sonia’s delicate fingers. Her nails are perfectly manicured yet polished to give off the illusion of natural beauty.

Hm.

He takes the paper, unfolding it and—

What do you know about the occult?

Sonia is feigning innocence. She’s scarily good at it. If not for the flicker of her intense stare to his, he wouldn’t have suspected a thing. That...and his side still...stings. Seriously the princess had a bony fucking elbow.

“Princess. What the hell is this?”

“Shush!” she ordered and he dutifully shut his mouth without a second thought. Sonia looked around discretely, lowering her voice as she leaned in to whisper into his ear. “Any information you have on cults would also be appreciated, Matsuda-san.”

No, seriously, what the fuck?

He does try to make sense of it. If Sonia felt the need to convey these questions inconspicuously, then, maybe—?

He takes out a pen and writes down his response. He hands it under the table for Sonia to read.

Do you think our kidnappers are part of a cult?

“Oh!” Sonia gasped. “I never thought of that! What a fascinating theory!”

Guuuuuuess not.

“If it just interests you, you don’t have to be so fucking secretive,” he griped. “Just ask me outright like a normal fucking person.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she apologized quickly. “I truly didn’t think the way I was conducting myself was...regal. They pass notes like so in the dramas. Is that not normal behavior, Matsuda-san?”

Oh.

“I...no, actually...” Matsuda shrugged helplessly. “I...guess that is in fact a way high schoolers communicate sometimes...”

I haven’t gone to a normal high school...or a normal middle school for that matter.

“It is quite—unheard of if not prohibited for a princess to have such interests,” Sonia sighed. “But even if it is forbidden, my heart still longs for more when it comes to the subject of Freemasonry! Oh, but it’s purely academic!” She looks quite serious as she insists, “I could never dream of conspiring against the government.”

“A lot of people do find that stuff interesting,” Matsuda said. Sonia lit up only to deflate when he added, “I don’t think it’s that deep.”

“No?” Her head tilted. “You think it...kiddy?”

“In a way,” he admitted. “Cultism comes about through societal failings and instability. Political turmoil, lack of education, paranoia, peer pressure... People long for a sense of community by nature and they’re drawn to a charismatic figure who knows how to prey on the insecure and vulnerable. People just want someone else to tell them what to do, what to think, like fucking children and obviously, obviously, they get taken advantage of by the worst fucking types...”

Sonia’s eyes were wide.

“Oh! Matsuda-san, have you been in a cult before?!”

Matsuda immediately jolted. For some reason, he broke into a sweat. For another, his head hurt so much that he wanted to shut down then and there.

“...Matsuda-san?”

He needed to grip his hand and will them to stop shaking.

“...I... No.” He shook his head firmly, digging his nails into his arm, would’ve raked them through the flesh if not for the sleeve of his coat. “It’s, uh, just something I read one time.”

“You are looking quite pale,” Sonia remarked worriedly. “I apologize, Matsuda-san. I—think we should drop the subject for now. I do not wish to cause you untoward pain any longer.”

She draws back from him as if he’s too fragile to be near. It’s seriously annoying, especially when not only does Sonia look stricken with guilt, she also looks lonely.

“I...” He swallowed. “While I don’t think much of it, I do think it’s important to understand. It isn’t productive to just...dismiss it wholesale.”

Sonia does perk up.

“I agree,” she says, albeit tentative as she does. “To dismiss a different sense of values due to ignorance is foolish. Such ignorance leads to bloodshed. And—it is important for a member of the royal to expand one’s knowledge.”

He nods.

“I just...” He wants to bite his tongue clean off. “I guess it’s a sore subject for me...”

But w̴̟̹̠͐̿̋ḧ̶̟́y̷̘͓͛?

“I understand.” Sonia nodded back. “I apologize.”

“It’s fine,” he said. “Just...do what you can to guide your people right.”

With that, he gets up.

“Sorry,” he said, acting on autopilot now. “I need to go.”

He doesn’t look back.

--

“Oh, Matsuda-san!”

As usual, Sonia looked delighted to see him.

“What a pleasant surprise!” she exclaimed, every word dripping with sincerity. “Come, come! Sit with me! There is much I wish to discuss with you!”

“Yeah?” The closer he comes, the more she can see her stack of books. Quite a few of them have been shoved away, but the other titles—there actually seemed to be a couple of romance novels and recognizable manga. “What about...?”

Those are titles that have been adapted into TV dramas.

“The friendship between men and women as depicted in Turn On The Heart,” she explained. “If you do not know that title, then will a different J-drama suffice? Perhaps one of these?”

She offers one of the manga. Her intentions are clear, and he truly appreciates the gesture—but he’s read that title. It was one of the worst fucking things he ever skipped through. The love interest in it was just scary. And he was a spoiled rich brat. Urgh.

But the princess really isn’t that bad. She’s really trying to get along with me. Not a lot of people have done that unless they wanted in my pants or something.

He’s not so fucking full of himself that he’d assumed a goddamn princess would be interested. That, and he’s conscientious of that shit to begin with. Sonia was just friendly, not flirty.

“I do mostly read manga,” he said. “I guess I could recommend a title or two that’s been adapted?”

I haven’t watched a lot of dramas actually. I’ve had them going on in the background, but that’s...

His sharp eyes do notice the titles that Sonia had pushed away. They were various studies on cults throughout history. And an anthology on ghost stories.

“Matsuda-san.” When Sonia spoke, her tone was low. She stood up and bowed, making him jump. “I wish to sincerely apologize from the bottom of my heart! If I could, I’d throw myself at your feet! Alas, it’s improper for a princess...! I’m so fucking sorry!”

“Wow.” He didn’t even know how to respond. “If this is about what happened last time, it’s fine. It’s water under the bridge. I...”

I actually—don’t remember what happened. I ended up taking a lot more pills than I should’ve.

“Still!” Sonia exclaimed, shaking her head. “I asked you a very inappropriate question! It was quite uncouth! Thus—I wish to make out with you for it!”

“You don’t have to do that,” he said, meaning it figuratively and literally. “It’s fine.”

“Are you sure?!” Sonia’s frown deepened. “I... Despite my status, here I would like to be equals, Matsuda-san. Is that not possible?”

Equals, huh.

“When I came to Japan, I thought I could be considered a normal girl,” she said, and it sounded like a confession. “Perhaps...that had been...immature of me.”

It is immature, Matsuda agreed with as he bit his tongue. It’s beyond fucking immature. Even if you learn the language and go along with trends, you live in a fucking castle, Sonia. That’s not normal at all. Normal people are one bad fucking month away from losing everything they care about. It’ll take more than a damn month for a monarchy to topple. Especially one that’s absolute.

“If you insist so much, can I ask you a question?” He studied the way she perked up. How annoyingly eager she was to hear it. And how he—“It’s not going to be a pleasant one.”

“As long as it is about my personal inclinations or government secrets, I am willing to speak about it,” she told him, smiling sweetly.

She really was so painfully sweet sometimes.

Ä̷̮̖͇́̅̅͝ ̷̬̎̽c̴̨̛̥̳̙̔̈̊ͅo̵͕̤͠ṃ̵̻̒ͅp̸̭͕̽͝l̸͍͈͎̀è̶̛̝̫̒͗͝t̸̗͒̂̐e̴̛̳͔̾͐ ̵̧̼̐ô̸̞͇̖͋̽̀́ͅp̵͉̘͗̅̍͝p̴̖̙͑̊̒̆o̸̧͙̹̘̠͂s̴͈̀̕ị̶͇̅͛͝t̶͉͊e̴̲͈̩̫͠ ̴͔̺͔̙͗́̓̓̋f̶̺͂̚͘r̴̛̘̾͝o̶͍̭̯̖͐̐̓͛m̶̳͑̋—̷̱̘̩͙͓̇͒̏̋̉

“This isn’t your first time being kidnapped.”

It hadn’t been a question, despite himself. But a statement. A statement that drained all that sweetness from Sonia’s face, leaving behind calm stoicism. She looks so at ease and unshakeable that Matsuda could draw several conclusions if he wanted to.

But it seems tacky to make assumptions about what were traumatic experiences, regardless of those involved.

“I’ve read up on your country and there were reports of the royal family being abducted by insurgents,” he said, keeping his voice level. “It hadn’t mentioned those affected by name...but you were among them, weren’t you?”

“Yes,” Sonia spoke as if she were untouchable. “I was.”

“No wonder you’re so damn calm about all this,” Matsuda went to remark. “It’s not your first time. And...quite fucking frankly, this is literally the Bahamas of hostage situations.”

“Haha, I do not think we are in the Bahamas, Matsuda-san,” she replied, casual—but still with that flaring distance. “I believe we are in the middle of the Pacific, rather.”

...hah.

“That’s not important,” he snapped. “What was important was... Clearing the air, so to speak.”

“I see.” Sonia agreed with him like he’d kill her if she didn’t. “Then, have I been to your satisfaction, Matsuda-san?”

Matsuda stared at her. He reached out, and she didn’t even flinch. Not even when he snapped his fingers in front of her. Impressive, honestly.

She’s completely shut down.

“Do you want to talk about dramas? I kind of enjoyed Hana-Kimi.”

Sonia blinked, and it was like nothing happened at all. Especially with how she went back to smiling as she always did, dazzlingly open and amicable.

“I haven’t heard of it! Please tell me all about it!”

“If I remember correctly there were like, four adaptations, the first Taiwanese and the most recent a K-drama, actually, so...”

The two of them chat lightly like this for a while. Like a normal pair of high schoolers.

--

“Greetings, Matsuda-san! I have read the illustrious Hana-Kimi! And! I enjoyed it!”

“Good to hear...”

“There is much I wish to discuss about it!” Sonia exclaimed, but there was something strange. Her smile was so wide it looked strained. She was wearing more makeup than usual, especially on her cheeks and around the eyes. “I would also like to hear more recommendations, so...”

“Rough night?” Matsuda asked, and Sonia shut her mouth.

For a second, Sonia looked lost before she gave a weak laugh.

“Ahaha, I should’ve known that Matsuda-san would not be fooled. You’re quite sharp, after all. It’s one of the reasons I admire you.”

“Did you want me to pretend nothing was wrong?” Matsuda huffed. “I’d rather you not have to force yourself around me. With how shitty my attitude is, I’d be a hypocrite if I expected everyone on their best behavior....especially in this situation.”

“Truth be told, I do not mind it,” Sonia murmured. “In a way... I find it refreshing. Around Matsuda-san, I can just scream at the top of my lungs—Jesus Fucking Christ Bastard Of A Fuckity Fuck Bitch! And you wouldn’t bat a tongue-lash!” She took a deep breath. “That said...if we are to discuss further. I’d prefer we do so in my cottage.”

“Fine by me,” was Matsuda’s immediate response. That was all there was to it.

Without another word, he followed Sonia to her cottage. She led him inside, and the interior was so fancy that he felt like he’d be stoned if he didn’t remove his shoes right away.

Polished floors, elegant rugs, ivory silk sheets, and plush furniture—even a damn chandelier hanging about them... It at least looked like the inside of a high-end hotel suite. Even the way plants were arranged from the ones hanging from the wall to the potted plant in the corner and the vase on the table by a wide-screen television felt so prestigious and artful.

“Would you like a seat?” Sonia asked, indicating a loveseat that definitely costed more than he could get selling his ass on the street for a week. He sits down on it anyway. It’s annoying supple, and he can’t help but relax. Sonia is giggling at him, “I apologize for any messes. I am still getting a handle on cleaning as it were. And the shower.”

The rug had been a little damp under his feet. She must’ve accidentally flooded the floor. He should probably help her wash it so that it didn’t contract mold, but... There were more pressing matters.

Sonia clearly wanted to speak to him, but she was just standing there. Fidgeting and wavering.

“Nightmare?” he guessed. “Homesickness?”

“Both,” Sonia replied, chuckling a little. “As well as—that conversation we had earlier...weighing on my mind...”

Matsuda clicked his tongue but said nothing. Gave Sonia the time to take a deep breath.

“Back then, I was not permitted to show fear for my people’s sakes,” she recounted. “I was, after all, a princess before a person. But here... I do not know what I should do. Must I wait in silence for rescue? Shall I allow myself to scream and cry?” She was fidgeting. No, she was trying to distract herself from how badly her hands were shaking. “Say, Matsuda-san... You are...quite intelligent. And you never—you do not sweet talk. Tell me...what I should do.”

Matsuda stared at her. She kept her head bowed.

“Fuck if I know.” Matsuda sighed loudly. “Like holy shit, why you think I’ll know what to do? That’s illogical as fuck. You’re just being a coward by forcing someone else to make the decisions, princess.”

“I am aware,” she whispered.

“I’m not Togami,” he said. “I’m not going to seize control and tell everyone that it’s going to be fine. I’m...”

...not going to lie about that shit.

“I thought not.” Sonia laughs again. It’s almost an ugly sound. Scratchy and unbalanced, completely unbefitting and yet—perfect in this situation. “Matsuda-san, you may have the signals of a legendary hero... But, in reality, your scowling face is too remarkable.”

...

...

...

...

...

...

What the fuck did that even mean?

“The legendary hero of legend,” Sonia reiterated with the utmost seriousness. “The only fault with that—is your face, Matsuda-san! It’s not just remarkable, it’s beautiful!”

What the FUCK is she talking about?

“I would still like to take you with me to my kingdom, once we escape from here,” Sonia went on. “Even if you are not a destined one, you would make for a wonderful advisor and companion. I wish to continue our conversations—and even if it is cowardly, I also wish to look towards you in times of need.”

What the fuck is going on?!

“I...” He’s confused. He’s so hopelessly confused. And yet... And yet... “I heard the medical practice in your country is nothing to sneeze at...so I can’t deny being interested.”

“Splendid! Then—let us continue working together, Matsuda-san!” Sonia clapped her hands. Another dazzling smile, an even more radiant laugh. Just like that, she was back at peak princess. “Ho, ho, hey!”

“Hey, hey, ho...”

Despite that, there’s a lot unsaid. We haven’t really talked, either. We’re just pushing on with forced optimism, filling our heads with empty reassurances and promises in the hope that it’ll be enough to carry us through.

It could very well be. In a situation like this, keeping ahold of one’s morale was pretty fucking prudent. Even if he and Sonia knew shit all about how to lead, they had no choice but to keep stumbling and scrambling. Hoping for the best.

Sometimes... That’s all we really need.

[shinjukuspiritcommittee]

Top 20 2021

My Favorites (updated)

Hello my readers, it’s been a while since I just posted something not related to a headcanon and I am doing one right now. I just wanted to take a bit of a break to just get SOMETHING on here on my days off work. Plus I’m just trying to find my groove when it comes to writing again so hopefully this helps me just get back into the mood of making a post more often lol. I wanted to revisit this topic for a while just because we’ve had a lot more events and a lot more alts in the game were added. And I know for a fact LifeWonders reads these posts in some capacity because I have meme’d an AR into the game with my top picks from the last list I did for Christmas 2019. No I didn’t. I’m just joking around and I know LifeWonders doesn’t read this.

Anyways rather than just make up a list on the spot like last year I decided to use the Housamo Sortmaker (Link: https://club.housamo.xyz/sortmaker/ ) to try and make a list that’s more revealing to what I was thinking at the time. Since I talked about 20 characters ish last time I’m just gonna read from my 20th place to my 1st place spots and try to justify whatever I was thinking at the time. Anyways-

20: Marchosias and Susan: This one was a surprise for me if I’m being honest but I’m just gonna blame the fact on Shukou’s recent involvement with LifeWonders in the form of Live A Hero and how Ryekie and Mokdai live in my headspace rent free whenever I think about the characters in that game. Maybe we can see about getting some LAH headcanons since that’s a LifeWonders property too). So out of all the characters Shukou drew for Housamo why did I pick Marchosias? Easy, it’s been 4 years and this poor man has yet to receive a proper alt or any kind of skin for that matter and I think that it’s a crime. Sure he’s not my favorite but he’s definitely grown on me because he’s just a gentle dad kind of character and his design has grown on me over the years. I just hope he doesn’t get left behind since he has a lot of really interesting and potential things to look forward to in the future given how the main story has unfolded.

19: Shiva/Algernon: The helmet heads are together because DAI XT quickly became my favorite artist for Fire Emblem Heroes and I really just like their designs. DAI XT just knows how to draw robots, armor and muscles well. Also Chapter 11 with Shiva you can read into some interesting perspectives. I don’t want to spoil any of the untranslated content for anyone who’s waiting for the official english translation. But if you are curious Roureem has a blogspot where he posts summaries of the newly released events.

Link: https://housamosummaries.blogspot.com/

18: Cthugha: I love this goober so much. He’d constantly try to act super sentai just trying say good morning everyday. He may not be very bright but that just adds to his charm and honestly I enjoy how he always tries to play the hero in a lot of scenarios because it’s refreshing when they implement him after a bunch of heavy hitting story stuff. I’m not gonna spoil too much about it but I will say he’s more than welcome after everything Chapter 10 and 11 put the reader through.

17: Mineaki: I’ve made a post about him being one of my least favorites way back when I first started this blog and let me just say how times have changed and I’ve learned the value of not judging a book by it’s cover. I still think there’s something a bit off about Kowmei’s style for his characters, but Mineaki has definitely grown on me. He’s a caring instructor who does watch out for his students even if it’s not always in the most direct way possible. Not to get into too many spoilers he’s got a lot of intrigue around him as well and I am curious to see his role get expanded down the line.

16: Ded: Housamo is the reason I really like christmas. The Christmas stories despite following a similar structure to each other do tend to be my favorite stories. Ded himself is also just another good dad character. He’s also two guys for the price of one, so I mean… you know… you’ve got the forever ask your other dad situation. There wasn’t much thought put into this choice I just like santa as a concept because I think the outfits are cute, it’s always nice to get something for people you care about on Christmas and Ded is the perfect embodiment of both sides to Christmas.

15: Shinya: Everyone we need to manifest buff Shinya for 2021, this is not a drill. This is legitimate. We must make Taromati’s and my wish come true. To be more serious again he’s just a sweet and gentle character. He’s also drawn by my favorite Housamo artist. Their characters always just look so naturally good. I’m just surprised he hasn’t gotten much of an alt given he’s perfect material for Valentine’s day. He’s just a soft boy and I would love for him to be in more things because I just enjoy seeing him.

14: Jacob: I have to be honest Jacob is on here because every time I look at him he just gets more handsome to me. I wasn’t all that impressed with his introduction and we don’t know much about his background but I’ve just been drawn to him more and more. Maybe it’s just because he’s drawn by GomTang? I just like looking at him and I can’t help it. To speak a bit less crass he’s another gentleman kind of guy and those are always nice.

13: Shennong: Yeah I like the doc a lot. Firstly, I’m a huge sucker for big bulls and Shennong fits the bill. The white fur really adds to his appeal visually and the purple horns give off a bit of an unnatural appearance. Shen feels like someone who’s been touch starved and alone for a long time given how he acts as a character and when we actually hug him I just lost it. He always has others well being on his mind so he’s not afraid to jump in and help, or give a much needed lecture about when you need to take better care of yourself. He just comes across as very well balanced overall.

12: Heracles: I won’t lie- at first he didn’t interest me much. He looked incredibly plain when among the rest of the cast and he seemed like the typical “bait” character since the banner had Echo, Barguest, Gyumao and Snow. But after reading the translation for Valentine Time Slip I was taken aback at how much of a gentle giant he turned out to be and I just really liked his interactions with the others in that event. And honestly his special quest from that year was one of the more unique ones given the slower pace and more romantic vibe it had. After the event warmed my heart I did a complete 180 and I just knew I really liked him.

11. Yasuyori: Before I start praising him I feel I have to justify why he didn’t quite make top 10 and it will have some mild Chapter 10 spoilers. To be as vague as possible his resolution just didn’t vibe with me at the end of Chapter 10. Like it wasn’t a bad resolution and it was the right choice to make but in my opinion there really wasn’t a moment I felt was clear where he made a choice for himself. Everything just sort of happened around him and it felt like he didn’t really do much to improve his situation. To an extent I kind of see that being the idea given his origins and the story he’s based on and there is some semblance of him coming to terms with himself alongside his isolation being portrayed pretty well, but I just wasn’t satisfied with it as much as I would like to be. With that out of the way, oh my god I just want this boy to never stop smiling and I just want to give him hugs constantly please he just deserves to be happy!!! Yasuyori is a character who’s got a lot of baggage and he’s just trying to find ways to properly cope with his trauma and not repeat past mistakes and I just really like that idea. His role in Xmas 2020 (sorry I just forgot the name of that event, but its when he gets his alt) was a much better representation for his character in my eyes. I’m not gonna spoil anything like I keep saying but he isn’t one to disappoint in future appearances and I just hope this lovable lug keeps getting the support he deserves.

10: Hephaestus: A spicy way to start the latter half of the list. I just want to give this lad a hug and tell him he is worthy of love. But at the same time he is a little shit… and I love that. I can’t fully explain why I grow a paternal instinct in me seeing this grown man sob about his mother but I just do. I want to keep him safe and give him all the affection he wants. Though I am aware a lot of Hephaestus’s interest in his parental figure is… questionable. I am just gonna say I would accept his love for what it is and he just wants approval.

9. Shuten: I’ll be honest I have no proper reason for why I like Shuten so much. He’s just a cool and reliable guy. He just seems like a go with the flow kind of person most of the time and he’s a bit more direct than most of the characters which I always appreciate. Plus I have an unspoken bias for naop guys in Housamo.

8. Durga: While not number 1 on this list, I still really like Durga. She’s quirky but not to an annoying degree, she’s determined and definitely very confident in her own abilities. Her growing to be more sociable throughout her events is something I enjoy seeing because it really creates this sense of growth.

7. Kyuma: I get a lot of people don’t like Kowmei’s art but I really think we should look past it because Kyuma is one of the sweeter picks. He’s someone who just wants to prove himself for his own worth and not what David can provide, but David is part of him and it just creates the potential for a good arc. Plus this boy is unintentionally smooth and will just take your heart when possible. I honestly want to see Kyuma more in events because he’s honestly the jock that carries 3 of the 4 brain cells. He’s also the last one without an alt so I’m just hoping he gets one in 2021 because he really deserves one in my opinion. (Also fan art makes him really cute).

6. Tomte: Tomte is relatively new but honestly his event in 2019 really endeared me to him. I’m trying to be spoiler free because the best way to enjoy these stories is for yourselves but let me just say his arc in the event was really endearing to me and much more than I was expecting. His fan service is also incredibly hammy and I love it. Visually Tomte is one of my favorites, I love his multi colored hair and starlit pupils cuz it makes his otherwise more generic look have some flare. I knew I liked him out the box and when I read about him in the summaries and can’t wait to read the official translation for him. I was just very endeared.

5. Tetsuya: Tetsuya fucks. Moving on…

Jokes aside this one’s a bit simple. I have no shame in admitting I think he’s attractive and his whole resistance towards wanting a relationship is cute in a weird roundabout way. When he says no I just want it MORE. I just really like duo haired tsunderes.

4. Kengo: Kengo 3rd alt 2021. Please LifeWonders I need my favorite Summoner. He’s a bro and that’s what counts. Kengo has got your back, not afraid to rely on you, a very fun and dynamic guy. Sure he’s not that bright when it comes to making plans or any book smart, but there are times where he’s the best at being able to read the room or just understand what someone needs to hear even if it isn’t always what someone wants to hear. His bullheaded nature is actually one of his redeeming qualities because it’s nice to just not overcomplicate things and just understand what’s actually going on. Yes the early story didn’t do many favors for him but to me the events, especially the later ones, do much more work for his character. To me, at least.

3. Ashigara: Ashigara is best bear, and I will defend that stance in 2021. The main thing that draws me to Ashigara is that I can see a bit of myself in him. He gets very emotional when he gets left alone, he’s very loud when with his friends, has a tendency of speaking his mind- just someone who wears his heart on his sleeve. I also appreciate that in spite of the negative he isn’t someone who backs down when the going gets tough and in a few instances he’s able to hold his ground physically at least.

2. Wakan Tanka: Love at first sight. This ray of sunshine still persists as the number 1 husband, but number 2 character. Firstly I am a huge fan of the partial beast aesthetic. The buffalo ears and the horns  are absolutely adorable. Secondly he’s a perfect body type; he’s not too muscular but not exactly flabby. Third he is just so positive and I love that. He’s someone I admire and wanna hug.

1. Taurus Mask: The more things change the more they stay the same. I’m still a big Taurus Mask fan for all the same reasons as last time. I just… relate to this boy. He is an incredibly shy boy who uses his public persona for confidence. Maybe I’m reading too much into it but it’s like we’re soul bros!

So yeah, my tastes haven’t changed in a year and a half.

[goddesswritings]

peacefall - the beginning | Sam Taylor

Title: : peacefall – the beginning

Pairing: AU Ghost!SamTaylor x OC

Summary: Y/n is a writer, and her books are pretty popular. She moves into a house in the country to get away from the craziness of the city. She wants to put all her focus on her next book. Weird things begin happening in the house. She discovers she has a ghost, and he has quite a past. They begin to bond, but he begins to see that she is hiding something big from him. Something that will impact her life.

Word Count: 3k

Notes: Beware, this story contains major character death.

Also listen to the song peacefall by Purity Ring and you may be able to get some og the headspace I had when writing this.

This is an old fic that I changed to Sam. Mind you, I have not seen Amazing Stories, so this doesn’t follow the actual episode, it more like uses the likeness of Sam Taylor and makes him into an ancient Victorian character for the purpose of this ancient story of mine.

Masterlist

********

“I have no true memory of meeting my parents for the first time. Of course not, I was just a babe, but I do know that they nurtured and loved me very much. Growing up, I never once questioned their love for me nor for each other, I just knew it was there.”

Recently, you moved into a beautiful old house. It was on the smaller side, with a narrow staircase that led up to the second floor, but it was perfect. The house had to have been built over a hundred years ago. It was filled with the most beautiful wood floors and moulding. Every room had some type of dark wood lining the walls and windows. Some of the wallpaper was peeling in a few of the rooms, but that was an easy fix. There were a few other things that needed fixing in the house as well. You knew the house had seen better days but were happy to be living in it.

There were two bedrooms, the main bedroom was located next to the bathroom. It had a nice row of windows on the far wall that showed the beautiful old neighborhood the house was in, as well as a beautiful little closet. The bathroom was pretty spacious for the small home, with a white clawfoot tub in the center of the room. You were in love with that tub the minute you laid eyes on it. Growing up, you’d always wanted a clawfoot tub.

The second bedroom was located at the end of the hall. There were only two windows in that room and there were two large trees that covered the sunlight from reaching the room. This caused the room to be a bit darker than normal, but you loved it all the same. You made that room into your personal office. You’re a writer. The room was the perfect place for you to work when inspiration struck. Especially because it allowed no distractions from the outside world.

Things were finally coming together for you. Your newest book had just been published and you’d finally saved enough to live on your own. You finally felt happy. You didn't have many friends or a boyfriend, but you were happy with yourself. Living alone would be good for you. It would allow you to focus and get a lot of writing done.

The first couple of weeks were quiet and nothing ever happened in the house. It seemed perfect, too perfect. You knew a house that old had to have some sort of past and you were willing to find out what it was. You were a naturally curious person.

Maybe a month into living in the house, things began to happen. Unimportant things would go missing and turn up in a completely different room. At first, you thought you’d just been moving the stuff and forgetting where you put it, but when a book you were reading disappeared when you explicitly remembered putting it on the bedside table, you knew something was going on.

At night there would be odd creaks that you hadn’t heard when you first moved in. One night you were sure there were footsteps in the hallway, but they were gone before you’d had a chance to investigate them. You knew what you heard was not in your mind. Even with this stuff happening, you were not afraid. You grew up in a haunted house, so it wasn’t new. Things just continued to happen for the next three months and you did your best to ignore them and just live life.

You were halfway done your next book when the notes for the book went missing. That didn’t make you happy, because it meant that whatever was doing it, was an intelligent spirit. You spent the entire day ravaging the house and trying to find the missing notes.

“This is not funny!” You yelled out while sitting in the middle of the living room, the house was a mess around you. After that, you swear you heard a laugh. This spirit just wanted to piss you off. This made you want to get some background on the house.

****

You had all intentions to learn the past of the house, but life got busy. You had to make an impromptu trip a few hours away to New York to meet up with your editor and agent. Both wanted to talk about your upcoming book and what they should expect in it. You have to say a good thing about being a writer is being able to keep your identity secret. You were able to live your life normally without having to worry about being recognized, it was great. Anyway, the trip to New York lasted about a week and you couldn’t wait to return home.  

The house was quiet when you returned, eerily quiet. You didn’t know what to expect from the spirit in the house, but at that moment you were too tired to care. You were dying for a soak in that beautiful tub of yours. After placing your bags in the bedroom, you headed to the bathroom to start the tub. You filled it with some lavender bubble bath.

After the bath was started, you retreated to the bedroom to get ready. You tied up your hair up and changed into a blue silk robe. As you were headed back to the bathroom, you remembered to grab a glass of wine to help you relax. So you turned off the tub before heading back down the stairs to grab it.

Halfway down the stairs when you spotted a tall man standing in the living room. He was only there for a split second, but you knew what you saw was real. You shook your head and made your way into the kitchen. Pouring a glass of wine before heading back upstairs. Walking past the living room, you got chills, but cast it off as nothing. You made it back to the bathroom quickly and put the wine on the counter.

Just as you’d untied your robe, you heard your bedroom door close, you retied the robe and went out into the hallway. “Hello?” You expected a reply but got nothing.

You walked to the bedroom to find the door shut. When you tried to push it open, it wouldn’t budge. “What the hell. This is not funny at all.” You spoke and continued to push on the door. So you stopped and listened for any movement on the other side of the door but heard nothing.

Once again, you moved the door handle and it swung wide open, slamming into the wall. There was no one in the bedroom. Now you were beginning to get freaked out.

Shaking your head, you went back to the bathroom and started to remove the robe again. Letting it drop to the floor, you picked up the wine and stepped into the hot bath. You set the wine on window ledge beside the tub before finally relaxing against the warm porcelain of the tub. It had been a long time since you’d had the chance to relax like this. You closed your eyes and let the water relax you, you just let your mind wander.

You sipped the wine occasionally. It must have been fifteen minutes or so before you started to feel like you were being watched. Shooting up, you looked around the room, trying to find the source of the feeling, but as usual there was no one. This spirit seemed to be playing a lot of tricks.

After that you decided it was probably best that you retire to bed, because you felt like you were going crazy. Exiting the bath, you brushed your teeth, and changed into a pair of black shorts and a t-shirt. Then snuggled into your bed. You still felt like you were being watched but you pushed that aside and went to sleep.

You were sure you’d gone to sleep, but now you found yourself sitting in the living room. You were dressed up in a beautiful blue dress and it seemed you were waiting for someone. Two minutes later you heard footsteps and a gorgeous man entered the room. He was tall. If you had to guess, he was about six feet tall. He had the darkest brown hair that was perfectly set on his head. His face had a cute scruffy beard that fit him so well. Everything about him was cute and screamed innocence.

“I love that color on you, darling.” He spoke sitting beside you on the couch. His voice was attractive.

“Thank you. I knew you would love this color.” You spoke in the dream. You weren’t speaking on your own will. The words came out without permission.

“You know me all too well, my love.” The man leaned in to kiss your cheek, a light blush formed on your cheeks. “You know I love you so much, Annabelle.”

That’s not your name.

“Oh yes I do, and you know I love you.” That was when you realized that it wasn’t your voice you were hearing and the woman sitting on the couch was not you. You were now standing on the other side of the room. She resembled you a little bit, but she was not you. Her hair was a couple shades lighter than yours. Her skin a couple shades darker than yours.

“That is why I want to marry you, Annabelle. Have you given my proposition any thought?”

She smiled but there was something fake about that smile and it made you sick, “I have Sam. I have given it so much thought, but I am afraid of what my father will say. The other townsfolk. I am betrothed to Peter after all.”

A frown appeared on the man’s face, “I understand that your father’s approval means a lot to you, I really do. But don’t you want to marry out of true love, not an arranged marriage? You and I are in love and I think that is all you need to get married. Marry me Annabelle. Please?”

Annabelle didn’t smile, she looked annoyed at the man. “Sam, I cannot marry you. My father means everything to me, and I believe he knows what he is talking about when he tells me that Peter is the best for me. I am sorry, I really am.” There was no sincerity in her voice.

“Okay, I understand.” He sighed sadly, “Then I must inform you that I will be leaving town in a few days. I have a job opportunity somewhere else.”

Annabelle nodded, “I think that would be best, but I do not think you are going to get far.”

Sam looked taken back by her words, “Why do you say that?”

Something in her changed and she looked positively evil in that moment. She pulled something from behind her and quickly shoved it into his chest. It was a knife. She had just shoved a knife into the chest of a man who loved her. What?

This was seriously freaking you out.

Sam looked down to where the knife was embedded into his chest and then looked up at Annabelle. “Why would you do this? I loved you, I still love you.” His voice was soft.

She just laughed and pushed him to the ground, “I regret to inform you, my dear Sam, I never loved you. I am in love with Peter and have been since before I met you. You are just a pawn in my game. With you gone, I will be able to take everything you have.” This woman was making you sick. She dropped down to the floor beside Sam and gripped the knife. “I am not sorry for anything I did.” There was no emotion in her voice as she spoke. Before Sam could reply, she pulled the knife from his chest. “Goodbye Sam.” Those were the last words she spoke before shoving the knife into his heart.

You sat up with a start. You were absolutely terrified from the dream. That was no dream, it was a nightmare. When you buried your head into your hands, you realized you were crying. The dream scared you. You needed a glass of water. Pulling yourself out of bed, you noticed it was only four in the morning. Rubbing your eyes before getting up and making your way downstairs for water.

So, at 4:15 am, you stood in the dark kitchen leaning against the counter with a glass of water in your hand. Your mind was trying to make sense of the dream, but it could not. Why would you dream something like that? More importantly, why do you feel like that dream was more of a memory than a dream? You finished the water and headed back to bed. Unfortunately, you couldn’t get back to sleep, you just kept tossing and turning for the next two hours. Finally, at 6:30am, you decided to get up and work on the book.

Once again, you headed down the stairs to make a cup of coffee. Entering the kitchen, you stopped short when you saw something on the ground. It was the missing notes for your book. You shook your head and picked them up and started to go through the notes, a loose paper fell out to the floor. It was a newspaper article.

Town’s lady Annabelle Porter marries her long-time love Peter Lockwood.

You only read the headline, but it caught your interest. Especially since the woman in your dream was named Annabelle. Was this a coincidence? You were going to put the article aside for later. Right now, you needed coffee to wake up and you would figure this out later. Preparing a big cup of coffee and some toast, you grabbed the notes taking them up to the office. Some work needed to be done today.

You hadn’t even bothered putting clothes on, you lived alone. So, here you were, sitting in your cozy little office in some underwear and a t-shirt. Inspiration stuck shortly after taking a seat in front of the computer. There was no stopping you. Well that was until a creak of the wooden floor was heard behind you. Almost like someone was standing in the room. Quickly whipping around, you found no one.

“It seems that you like playing tricks on me spirit. Thanks for giving me my notes back.” You said aloud. You weren’t really expecting a reply, so it was surprising when a voice said ‘Welcome’ out of thin air. The most striking thing was that the voice sounded so much like the man from your dream last night.

“Uhhh okay.” This wasn’t the first time in your life that you were dealing with a ghost. You’d seen and experienced them all throughout life. This was just the first time that you had an intelligent exchange with one and it did freak you out a little bit. After that, the spirit didn’t say anything else. It got really quiet, so you got back to work.

****

You worked the entire day, only taking a few breaks for the bathroom and for food or drinks. The book was starting to come along. The house really seemed to give a lot of inspiration. Secretly you hoped to have another exchange with the spirit, but he was quiet after the morning antics. If you hadn’t known better, you would think that he left the house.

It was almost midnight when you decided to drag yourself to bed. You’d had a long day of writing and were starting to feel it all. Especially since you woke up around 4am. After brushing your teeth and using the bathroom, you climbed into bed. You were hoping you would have another dream. Maybe then, you can find out why Annabelle killed Sam?

At first, you had a bit of trouble getting to sleep, there was a lot on your mind, and you kept tossing and turning. You could not stop thinking about the dream from the previous night and the man from the dream that you kept seeing around the house. Was he the one haunting the home?

Two hours later you finally drifted to sleep, only to wake maybe an hour later to your covers being pulled down. Sitting up, you rubbed your eyes, too tired for this nonsense tonight. Before you could say anything, something or someone touched your leg. The feeling was cold yet inviting. You weren’t scared even when you knew you should be. Whatever was there stopped touching you right as you became aware of its presence.

“I know there is something here and I would really like it if you showed yourself.” You spoke into the dark room. Waiting for an answer, you received none. Sleep was closing in, so you just let it take over. You decided to deal with the spirit later. For now, you needed sleep.

PART TWO >>

[lookbluesoup]

Hey Wyn! I Just read all of your Blue Soup series! I love it all!!! Every word of it is fantastic! I've been wanting to start writing Fanfiction for Fallout for a long time, but I've always been intimidated by the prospect of writing already-established characters and "ruining them" (especially characters like Piper, Preston and Nick, who I plan to make main characters in my story). Do you have any advice on dealing with this?

Hi Anon! Thanks so much for your kind words! ;w; I’m certainly no expert and know this fear personally, but I’ll ramble here about my process and how I try to think about things. Hopefully it can encourage you, too! :D I’ll add the disclaimer that this is what works for me, and what works for me might not work for others, that’s ok! 

First off - writing is for fun. Wanting to do justice to the characters and capture their essence is a great goal, and also a learning process. You don’t have to do it perfectly, nor should you try. Perfection implies there’s nothing more to learn or grow over, which is one, unachievable, and two, the death of innovation. Just do the best you can with what you know, and let your passion for the characters guide the process. And be gentle with yourself. 

Our own experiences and preferences will effect how we write these characters, what traits of theirs stand out to us, how we define their shape, at least in small ways, and that’s not inherently bad. Just like many different artists can draw a character in 100 different styles and that character is still recognizable and familiar (and enjoyable!), writers can emphasize 100 different facets of that character, too. If you’re putting your heart into it, you won’t ruin them. Saw a beautiful LotR post the other day about that, talking about how the movies are different from the books, but the love for the story and characters shows because the people who made those movies were passionate about it, and they’re worthy adaptations of the stories’ spirit. It’s the same for fanfiction.

It’s personally more fun for me to think about the writing process like I’m exploring a character rather than making a statement about a character, which are two very distinct mindsets for me. Exploring is fun, engaging, its ok to change your mind and edit or alter your story as you get new information. It’s like a puzzle, thinking through a character’s motivation, finding ways to incorporate that into a story. Making a statement is more 'fixed’, and implies pushing a narrative as the correct one, which adds a lot of pressure. Personally? I don’t like pressure hahaha 

Still - it’s hard not to feel obligated to do something to a certain standard for one reason or another. My anxiety likes to tell me lots of little lies, and it can be very convincing. When it strikes, working through my nerves is often harder than actually writing LOL

When I first started writing Fallout fanfic, I didn’t post it anywhere. That took a LOT of the pressure off, knowing that none of this needed to, or was even intended to be, shared with others who might judge. These stories were just between me and the characters. It was safe. I could work at my own pace and enjoy the process in my little tide pool. Since deciding to share them, I’ve been really grateful for the support readers have given! It feels good, I’m glad I found the courage to post them.

As for working out that puzzle of what seems most likely for a character, how to capture the heart of them, I love voice lines! Codex entries! Compilations! The best way to get to know a character is to spend time with them. I take Piper everywhere with me, I want to know what she thinks about everything, her character really struck a chord with me and, well, cue hyperfixation hahaha I use the Windows 10 Game Bar to record audio clips and have a massive archive of her voice lines. Flipping through these is a useful tool for me to get back into her “pattern” of speaking. All the Companions have distinct voices and tendencies, which is another neat aspect to writing them. I feel more confident knowing I had access to the source material. Also I just. Like listening to her voice sometimes. Shhh

Other great resources for this are the wiki (which has text files of most, if not all, each character’s dialogue lines and conversation trees) and youtube companion reaction comps - this SOUNDS like a lot of work. But for me at least I love it, it doesn’t feel like work because I’ll be excited looking for specific lines a la “how does she talk when she’s angry”, “what does she have to say about mirelurks”, you don’t have to keep everything about each character in your head memorized - these audio and text files are great archives to find what’s relevant to a scene quickly.

When I got into Fallout, I also got interested in 1950s movies, music, and even radio shows like Johnny Dollar and Green Hornet. This gave me context around the characters, too. For example, Piper’s kickass reporter vibes throw back to a lot of old sleuthing reporter tropes, and interpreting her actions through some of those filters felt more authentic to me than applying her behavior to a modern day setting or my own inclinations. I guess along with that I’d also say, take notes! Have an observation? Write it down in a notes file, or a google doc, somewhere you can sync between your devices and add to whenever you think about it. What stuff sticks out to you as important or defining for these characters, what trends do you notice? If you have bullet points written down, these also make great quick references. Here’s a few screenshots from the terror that is my notes docs:

You can see they’re just short notes or scribbled down thoughts that I can quickly reference if I’m wondering how she might act in a certain scene at a certain time! For me getting into a character’s headspace is often more of a feeling than any kind of scientific research, having easy access to these pointers helps put me in the right state of mind to jump into the creative pool and swim around and get soaked in - character goo - okay bad metaphor. Anyway,

None of these are rules that you have to follow or things that you have to do to get the characters “right”, they’re just potential tools that can help you find information to build off of, and hopefully feel more confident. Maybe something else is more useful to you with organizing or keeping your head clear for writing, it’s cool to experiment and find out what works for you!

[shesawriter39049]

|THE PLUG| M| JIMIN |4

SMUT/ANGST

**For this first time, Jimin’s “lifestyle” clashes with yours...what happens when work makes him miss one of the most monumental moments in your career!? **

-JIMIN’S YOUR PLUG…AND HE’S KIDNA BECOMING YOUR MANS!

1.2 K sneak peek-

Jimin’s whipped and in his feels and so is the OC

Jimin’s still fucking perfect though...and a freak..but we all know this!

Things are starting to get just as much angsty as sexy…and the OC’s lowkey freaking out a little....

SLIGHT daddy kink, mentioned twice

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

Jimin couldn't hide the smile on his face if he wanted too, grinning from ear to ear as he watched you sway in his direction. Suddenly the nervousness he felt flooding through his body the entire drive over here disappeared, all that mattered in this moment was you. “Fuck..” Swept past his lips almost breathless as he pulled his blacked out aviators off hanging them in the neckline of his black V-neck.  The sun and the slight breeze was damn sure working in your favor, giving Jimin his own little runway show so it seemed. In his eyes you always looked good…”cute and fuckable” in his words, but due to your work schedules and obviously your previous arrangement which was essentially a booty call! It was rare he got to see you all dolled up like this, in your heels, hair and makeup done, skin tight midi dress that clung to every curve that Jimin’s committed to memory. Sitting on the hood of his challenger in the parking lot, distressed dark wash jeans that gave you no choice but to stare at those sinfully thick thighs of his! The minute you were in arms length he grabbed you, pulling your body into his which you fit like a glove, spreading his legs just enough to trap you in between them. Nuzzling your nose in the crook of his neck, a sigh of contentment leaving both of your lips at the contact. Giving yourself a moment to take in the scent of his cologne mixed with his natural aroma which you loved a little too much, even for your own liking! Hands slowly soothing up his back only to get tangled in his thick mane of hair, raking your nails down the nape.

“Hi baby…” Rolled off his tongue and into you hair, physically able to hear the smile in his voice, palms soothing up your ass, gently kenading his fingers into your skin through the fabric of your dress “God, I love how you feel…so soft and just...mine...mmm” A low moan fell from your lips at that, instantly feeling almost lightheaded. The things this man could do to you, hands coming up to find their home on your waist, not trusting himself where they currently sat!  Leaving a couple kisses up the side of his neck, pulling back to admire the faint outline from your lipgloss, the sun accentuating the gold reflexes from the glitter. Bringing your forhead up to rest against his, lashes touching in the procces, you look too damn tempting right now, espeically considring the two of you were outside of your work, but fuck. The idea of bending you over the hood of his car sounds painfully appealing, leaning down to let his lips capture yours nothing subtle about it Jimin kissed you with force. His tongue clashing clashing against yours, volleying it against his teasingly as if you’d really fight him for dominance, A growl leaving his lips once he realises too, pulling back to sink his teeth into your bottom lip, hand coming up to make firm contact with our ass until you knead out into his mouth. Soothing his palm over your cheek, which made you ultimately give in,Jimin moaned once given free reign of your mouth. Suddenly switching up the pace, his actions becoming more delicate as he tangled his fingers in your hair.

“Soooo...there's a reason I asked you to meet me for lunch…”

Smiling against his lips before pulling away, a slight hum leaving his lips as he cocked his head to the side, brow quirked in curiously. Rubbing slow soothing circles up your sides “ I found out it was confirmed almost 2 weeks ago….but things  between us were still so new, and up in the air,so I didnt wanna make things weird by brining it up right away...” Palming your hands up his shoulders nervously,unintentionally fluttering your eyes away from him until you felt his index finger flick your chin. Silently demanding your undivided attention, and clearly you weren’t one to deny Jimin of any of his desires!

God your face was so damn hot, why were you so nervous for this!? It’s a GOOD thing Y/N breathe ..”Babbyy…” Slipplied from his lips catiously “Are youuuu like...preg-” Jimin didint even let the word fully slip past his tonuge before you were almost ready to fight!

“NO! GOD NO! That’s the last thing I need right now” Just the thought of it alone had your blood presure rising, eyes almost bucking out of there sockets which only had Jimin cackling. At least he found this humerous....heart damn near thumping out of your chest!

“Well shit, if it’s not that it can’t be that deep, your a big girl...I know you prefer to swallow but spit it out…” Gazing back at you with the cheekiest grin on his lips, reaching up to playfully pinch his nipple, alright maybe it wasn’t so playful. And neather was the hiss that left his throat, so damn sinful! A second away from saying fuck lunch and just dropping to your knees! Since that wasn’t an option you despertly tried to pretend as if you didnt hear the whine that just rolled off his tonuge!

“Oh fuck you! Okay, Okay, well... I have my first official show ...as in it’s booked, sponsered, the full nine” Nose scrunching in tentatively, not quite sure how he’ll react or if he’ll even care but you should no better, this is Jimin were talking about here!

This man's face lit up immediately, those big puppy dog eyes of his gazing down at you with nothing but fondness “Oh my god baby!!!” Squeezing you into his arms, kissing you hard enough to knock the wind out of you before picking you up. Twirling you around in his arms ”I’m so damn proud of you…” Something about hearing Jimin say that you a second away from tears...you didn't have family around to say it so he was the closest thing you’d had in years. The first person in lords knows when to mean enough to you to make that phrase hold weight!

“Thank you..” Exhaled from your body shakingly, the grip you help around his waist tightened. As if he could read your mind Jimin switched gears,  wanting to pull you out of that headspace. Ducking down to kiss up the side of your neck in between words.

“Soo you know this means I’m coming over tonight , and were having realy ,really kinky sex right? All night...high,nasty,sex! I’m talking like, on top of your dining room table next to the carry out..spread wide open on your fucking stairs. However and wherever I want you , I’m having you, daddy’s in full control, I know how much my baby can reallyyy take” Jimin was litterally moaning in your ear, and ya what know, dick sounds more appealing than food right now! “Fuck,and your gonna take it, over and over again until you know how proud I am... god I’m gonna fuck you soo damn good!” Sinking his teeth into the patch of skin behind your ear since he knew your hair would cover the mark he was currently leaving behind “..bescause you deserve it...” 

“Mmm,that a promise?” Brow quirked slightly purposely challenging him, as you nibbled on the side of his ear, words coming out breathier than intended..

“Damn right it is, you already know how long I last when I’m high, I just can’t wait to see how long baby last before she's begging daddy to tap out...” A low whine leaving your throat, reclining your neck to give his tongue more access.

“But wait...”Pulling back suddenly, clearly perplexed, and considering the current conversation so where you “Whyyyy... were you nervous to tell me about that??Baby it’s what you’ve been waiting for” Mhhmm, It’s what you've been working towards since  you got your promotion 8 months ago!

“Umm..well…” There the nerves go again “I also wanted to invite you, as my date....I-I’m not trying to rush things and introduce you as my man but. I just, I don’t know, I really want you there, and not just hiding in the damn corner somewhere…I wanted you by my side...if your comfortable with that”  fidgeting with the rings on your fingers slightly, feeling like complete puddy in his grasp, suddenly questioning if you were 17 again!

Jimin’s damn near melted at that, eyes beaming, the smile that spread across his face instantly eliminated any uncertainty you had prior!  He’s been the one up with you as of late, at all hours of the night, just chillin on the couch. Smoking while your creating,editing, destroying, having mental breakdowns..the full nine!

Pulling your forward lightly by the chain around your neck, leaning in for one more lingering kiss before responding. “That’s why you were nervous?! Are you fucking serious Y/n of course, I’d go!” Tone indicating he was actually somewhat offended that you thought otherwise. “I’d be more pissed if I wasn’t at least invited...when is it?”

“Monnnn-day???” Tone hopefully, maybe too hopeful especially  once you took in the look on Jimin’s face looking like someone just stole his damn bike! “What-what's..wrong?” You are very tentative at this point...almost scared to know the answer.

A deep exhale left his body at that, recling his neck slightly, raking his fingers though his hair “I-fuck...I was going to tell you at lunch, that I gotta leave tomorrow morning...” Pausing to read your body language , your mouth forming an unintentional “O” not sure what else to say! “I’m, not set to be back until...  Tuesday….” Slowly dropping his gaze away from ours, Jimin literally felt naesous right now. Your body tensing under his hold and what made it even worse is he could feel it “Baby I’m so-”

“No, no it’s cool, it was supid anyway, were not even official yet so I can't be offended that you can’t go..you have a job too...I understand” Bullshit, nothing but bullshit, not even sounding remotely convincing as your voice wavered in your throat, like a leaf in the wind. “I-umm..I should probably get inside and prep-” Attempting to pull away but Jimin was always one step ahead of you.

“You still haven’t even eaten lu-”

“It’s fine, I’ll like grab grub hub or something..” Still trying to pull away, is it maybe because your eyes were bruning and even though you weren’t “Official” you felt like you’d just been knocked in the gut and wanted to cry?

“Okay...can I atleast pay for it?” Tone a second away from almost begging, of all the times for Jay to come around..it just fucking HAD to be now!!?

“No, no, Jimin it’s fine you don’t need to do that...I’ll ummm, call you when  I get off okay??” Pulling away without a hug or a kiss, and more importantly you didn't make eye contact with him and that hurt more than anything else.

“Y/n!?”- Silence

“Baby!!?” - You could hear the slight plea within his voice but if you turned around he’d see you cry and you weren’t doing that! You told him you could handle this..you told yourself you could handle this!

“Fuck!” Growled from his chest as he raked his fingers through his scalp almost painfully hard.

Jimin knew he warned you, warned you that this wouldn’t alway’s fun, and you’d have to take the good with the bad! But fuck, did he warn himself!!!? Because he literally felt as though he was a second away from throwing up right now! The look on your face once he told you he wouldn't be here was burning through his mind on instant replay, as you walked away from him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE FOR NOW, IF YOUR EXCITED SHOW ME SOME LOVE AND COME LEMME KNOW…

ALSO ….21Q’S PART 2 WILL COME BEFORE THIS..BUT I WROTE THIS RIGHT AFTER PART 3...SOOOO...I WANTED TO GET THIS SNEAK PEEK UP FOR NOW....IT WILL BE A COUPLE WEEKS BEFORE PART 4!

LOVE YOU GUYS AS ALWAYS,

ROCKI

MASTERLIST

[softjeon]

Home | Pt. 1

• Pairing: Namjoon x Hybrid!Yoongi (Platonic!) • Genre: Fluff  | Hybrid!AU • Words: 3,7k • Disclaimer: a tiny bit of anxiety and insomnia

written with @cassiavioletblue

↳ Namjoon watched Yoongi strutting after him over his shoulder and sighed. He couldn't believe he's really done it; paying too much money for a hybrid that would bite him if given the chance when all he had wanted was a cute, little - very much harmless - kitten to begin with.

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Late-afternoon sun was flooding in through the sliding doors, bleaching out the color from the room. Namjoon took a look in the wall mirror and almost turned right away. He looked awful. Dark shadows under his eyes the visible proof of his sleepless nights. “You still look good, don’t worry.” A low voice behind him said, “You always look handsome, Joonie.” Namjoon nodded at that, the wink on Hoseok’s face making him blush, before following him quickly.

“Have you ever thought about getting a pet?”

Namjoon looked up to see Jimin hovering next to him, a teapot in his hand only waiting for him to give over his cup. “N-no, why should I?”

“Then you’re not as alone. It helps you know...you could ask Taehyung if he knows some good places or if there has been some offspring.” Jimin reassured him with a nudge to his side, before placing the pot on the coffee table and cuddled up next to his boyfriend, “You always carry the burden of so many people around you.” Hoseok laid his arm around him and Namjoon couldn’t help but watch their interactions with a painful ache pulling at his heartstrings.

It had been a week, maybe more, Namjoon wasn’t so sure anymore and what Jimin had said still lingered in the back of his mind.

Maybe it was good.

Maybe it was a bit too much responsibility.

That morning, he woke up with a scream again. Sweat dripping down his forehead, his heart beating so fast that it was threatening to jump right out of his chest and his hands shivering. He was panting, his eyes flickering around in panic. He couldn’t take one more sleepless night.

Namjoon hesitated when he stood in front of the pet store, standing in the middle of the sidewalk so that people had to maneuver around him. Biting his lip in a nervous manner, he reached for the door, jerking with the sound of the bell that probably already notified someone. He wished it hadn’t.

Not, yet at least.

It wasn’t as loud as he had expected, a few puppies barking at his arrival looking up at him and reminding him awfully a lot of Jimin. Namjoon loved his friends, he always did and still he felt alone a lot of times. He’d figured it was just the way his brain was wired and maybe owning a cat would help him to get out his headspace some more. Namjoon had read a lot about it the past sleepless nights, ordering toys, gadgets anything one would need to be the perfect cat owner. He never half assed something.

Reaching down for one of the puppies, he scratched the small dog behind his ear with a smile. “Maybe it’s not that bad of an idea,” He was mumbling those reassuring words to himself for days now. A few times when he had unpacked the first things he bought and then again when he started to read all about how to take care of a cat.

Namjoon turned around, feeling a bit overwhelmed with the amount of animals in this shop. Maybe he should have called Taehyung to ask him about this, but he had felt a bit ashamed. He sighed, laughing at himself for even thinking about being ashamed just because he wasn’t sure where to buy a cat. It shouldn’t be that hard, right?

Namjoon rolled his shoulders back, shaking his head to get out of his head. He was starting to overthink this again. With a determined step, he walked to the aisle where he was supposing the cats were, when he stopped.

His gaze first fell onto the fluffy white ears, wandering down over the white hair, the big black eyes that were staring straight back at him. Namjoon cocked his head to the side, his heart picking up its pace. He didn’t know the store was also selling hybrids (probably because he had been looking at pictures of kittens all night) as he walked closer.

There was a softness about him, it’s white fluffy tail only adding to it. Namjoon wasn’t sure what pulled him in, maybe it was the eyes, or the cute button nose that he would have loved to boop. He knew nothing about hybrids though, only that Taehyung owned some on his farm right outside of Seoul and some of his other friends did. But Namjoon had figured a cat was already a lot of work. Enough for him at least. Still he couldn’t help but reach out his hand to him slowly, smiling lightly at the beautiful man that sat in the corner.

Yoongi’s had his eyes closed trying to drain out his surroundings. Because if he didn't he would want to pace, run along the cage, scream, shake the stupid metal bars caging him in. He was torn between pure rage and utter desperation - but he knew as soon as he would show any of it there would be that man with the electric stick again, shocking him into obedience. So, he lied there, motionless, storm raging inside while people came and go.

The little bell signaled that someone had come in again. It was a small sound, more for the pets than the humans so that they could show themselves form their best side and present exactly what the human was looking for: a cute, easy, well trained pet. Yoongi just growled low in his throat.

He couldn’t hear steps at first though which made him nervous because normally customers quickly went past him. So, he blinked open one eye. And then the other one. There was a man standing in the shop, still close to the door as if he wasn’t really sure where to go and what to do. His blonde hair looked soft and Yoongi felt the sudden urge to bury his nose in it because it looked so much like fur and he had been so lonely for so long… he stomped out the emotion before it could grow too big, growling for good measure. He would never, ever ever let one of those filthy humans touch him. They might have overpowered him and locked him here and they might think that giving him a collar and clipping his claws and filing his teeth would make him a pet, but he would fight till his very last dying breath to stay who he truly was! He startled when the human suddenly made eye contact with him. It was too late to pretend to be asleep now so he stared back, as fiery and hateful as he could. Instead of walking past him quickly or being scared off the human had the audacity to smile at him and then he reached out his hand! Over the bar!

Yoongi half hoped that the man would touch them, just to feel the electricity running through them but he probably wouldn’t. There were signs all over not to touch them. Why the man had thought that it would be a good idea to just reach over them instead was beyond him. Slowly Yoongi uncurled his tail and stretched. His ears, formerly lying flat against his skull stood up, white and fluffy, moving in the direction of the human. He wanted to see if that man was stupid enough to let him come close.

Namjoon couldn’t believe how beautiful the hybrid was, it’s fluffy fur only inviting him further. He had completely ignored the signs, like he usually did when his eyes were set on something and maybe Namjoon was a little clumsy and had a bit of a bad habit to do exactly what he wasn’t supposed to without knowing. So, he reached out for the fox, wanting to let it sniff his hand first before he would maybe pat his fur. Namjoon just wanted to feel how soft it really was.  

The human kept his hand steadily outreached for him and Yoongi couldn’t help it, he got curious. So, he inched a little closer than he would have needed to, sniffing in Namjoon’s general direction. He tasted different than the humans in the shop, there was no hint of disinfectant on him that bit Yoongi’s nose or the irony smell of metal bars and the washing detergent they used for their working clothes. This one strangely smelled like paper, the old kind, the one you found in old books. And there was coffee, lots of it, with a hint of something sweet and spicy, like vanilla and cardamom. Yoongi cocked his head, intrigued - but he came quickly back to his senses when the other moved. He had turned his hand as if he was about to pet him and Yoongi saw red.

He growled while sinking his claws right into the man's hand. Unfortunately, they had shortened his claws when they had first caught him so the wound wasn’t very deep, but he could still feel the satisfying rip of skin and the wetness of blood on his fingertips. Yoongi jumped back, out of reach, growling as dangerously as he could. He would have loved to bite him, to sink his teeth into that man who had the audacity to treat him like a puppy, but he had made that mistake just once to put his head that close to humans hands and it had almost cost him an ear. So, this would have to be enough as revenge.

Namjoon flinched back, hissing at the sudden pain in his hand. “Fuck,” He cursed to himself quietly, eyeing the wound first before he looked at Yoongi again in a mix of confusion and sadness. “I…I am sorry.” Namjoon mumbled towards the fox that was still flashing his teeth, “I really didn’t want to scare you.” He smiled sadly, whining when he saw the scratches on his hand that would definitely leave a scar one day. A hand on his shoulder made Namjoon jerk violently again. He hadn’t noticed one of the workers coming closer.

“Oh my, I’m so.. so very sorry! Please excuse us, he is new, just came in a few days ago so he is not ready for adoption. We just put him here because there was no other place to securely put him until he will be declawed and trained and ready to be sold.” The employee looked really uncomfortable, running away just to come back a few seconds later with disinfectant and a band aid. He sprayed the disinfectant without warning and then dabbed the blood away with a cotton pad before placing the band aid over Namjoon’s entire hand. It looked as if the other had never used one before in his life, “Again I am really, very sorry and... unfortunately, I have to remind you of the signs to not go too close to the cages without an employee so we can’t really be held responsible for this unlucky outcome. But I can reassure you that he is a special case, all of our other hybrids are absolutely docile and love to be petted. I can give you a tour around if you want. We have this really cute bunny hybrid, he’s just a few years old, a blue tortoiseshell or if you want someone really calm and timid then we have another bunny in chocolate and pearl with chocolate tipped guard hairs. He’s really pretty so of course he’s a little pricier...” When Namjoon didn’t really react to any of this the employee quickly continued, “...but I’m sure we find something fitting we have hybrids in all price ranges and variations. And if something is not in stock right now we can order from other branches. So, tell me, what is it you’re looking for? Something fluffy, something low effort, a younger hybrid, and old one - they are so good for seniors -“

“Oh no, that won’t be necessary,” He answered quickly, already annoyed at how much the employer was talking. Namjoon rolled his eyes as the young boy pointed somewhere else in the shop while he only halfheartedly listened. “It’s okay. It was my own fault for reaching out anyways. I hope I didn’t scare him too much,” Namjoon’s eyes flickered over to the white fox and then to the sign, reading it carefully. So, he was an arctic fox. A rare one at that and one shouldn’t pet him. Great. At least he knew it better now, Namjoon thought to himself. And still his eyes found the one of the arctic fox again, smiling at him apologetically and ignoring whatever the young boy was talking about. Namjoon was sure that the hybrids were cute, but no other bunny hybrid could be as cute as Jungkook anyways. Now that he was thinking about it, Namjoon made a mental note to visit Taehyung and Jungkook again sometime. Just to see that precious boy jump around in excitement. “I wanted…to look at the kittens?”

“Kittens?” The salesman paused in surprise. “Oh, of course. This way please.” In his corner Yoongi chuckled darkly. No wonder the man had no idea how to handle him when he had been looking for kittens. He absolutely wasn’t one. Instead of loosening his tense stance and relaxing back into his position on the floor he didn’t move at all while the man was in front of his cage, staring at him accusingly. He didn’t react to the other’s apologetic smiles and instead just bared his fangs further when they moved past him.

Such an idiot.

There was an uncomfortable pull on his insides when he was alone again, the words of the employee running through his mind. He was scared of being declawed. It would hurt a lot and afterwards he would be defenseless. Except for his teeth but if he didn’t behave then they would file them down. He shuddered and hated himself for it. He needed to stay strong. They wouldn't break him.

He wouldn’t let them!

…

Namjoon had two kittens on his arms, one nuzzling his face against his chest right away, while the other was sniffing him carefully. Both were absolutely beautiful and Namjoon had to smile, feeling absolutely content right now. He wasn’t paying much attention on the employees talk though and how he was getting out another one of them. A black on this time with bright blue eyes staring right back at him. And still, Namjoon couldn’t help but turn around again when he could hear the noise coming from one of the cages.

“Where did you get him from?” Namjoon asked, “The arctic fox, I mean. Does he have a name?”

“We got him from a... a breeder in Canada.” The employer avoided his gaze and apparently thought that it would make it less obvious that he was lying. “And as he isn’t adoption ready we didn’t name him yet. All names are absolutely temporary though until the owner decided on the name they will keep.” Smile back in place he nodded in the direction of the kittens. “So, did you see something that you like? If not we can go into the office and we can scroll through the kitten profiles of our branches. They could be here next week if you decide on this option and they could also be delivered directly to your home. What do you say?”

Namjoon nodded in thought. Of course, his mind started to fight a war just exact in this moment. The little kitten in his hold meowing at him, pleading him with his big eyes to take him home and Namjoon wanted to. So badly. But then he saw the look in the employees eyes, the obvious lies that he told him about the fox. There was something not right about this, he could feel it in his bones. The words of ‘declawing’ and ‘not ready to be sold’ coming back into his mind and how the employee told him about it getting trained. Why should a hybrid from an official breeder get trained? Shouldn’t that have happened before? He bit his lip, his heart picking up its pace.

“I want him.” Namjoon nodded towards the cage of the fox and put the kittens back down. “Y-yes. I’d like to buy him.”

The employee nodded, mistaking Namjoon’s nod in the direction of the fox cage to a sign that he had chosen one of the kittens. “Yes, he is a real beauty, he’ll be a gorgeous cat one day. You made a good choice here...”

Namjoon shook his head determinately, “No. The hybrid. I want the fox.” He looked at him, nodding to show that he was serious.

The employee's eyes widened, and he asked again as if he wanted to make sure that he had heard right. “The... the arctic fox hybrid? The one who bit you? But... I’m really sorry sir but he isn’t trained, and I told you that he isn’t declawed yet, he could be a danger to you and your home and I’m not sure… Sir, a kitten is way easier to handle. A hybrid needs way more attention that that especially in the beginning and... are you sure you don’t want to think this over? There are security measurements that you would have to take with a hybrid like him and you would have to buy a leash and a muzzle and... he’s way more expensive than a traditional pet. You need more space and… you can’t just give him back if you don’t like him. You would have to take him for two weeks at least. And if you return him after that phase you won’t get your full money back, only half of it. It’s… is this really what you want, sir?” He looked at him as if he was expecting a ‘no’.

“He didn’t bite me, he only scratched me. It’s fine…I-I can train him and my friend…he’s a trainer…of some sorts,” Namjoon added the last words a little quieter. Taehyung had a farm filled with animals; he knew naturally how to train animals, but he wasn’t a professional by far . “No. I want him. I will bring him to the vet to declaw him then.” Namjoon cringed at the words, not liking how they sounded but he was sure if he told him that he would never declaw a hybrid that they wouldn’t sell it to him. “I’ll buy anything you think is necessary for me to have. You can go ahead and chose it for me. I trust your knowledge.” Namjoon put on a smile, one that always brought him the best deals with his customers. He put a hand on the young man’s shoulder and nodded reassuringly,  “I have enough space…and enough money.”

The last was what had the man finally agreeing. He hesitated for a second and then shuffled off to the office to get the needed documents, copy the rules for owners of predatory hybrids and also get everything Namjoon would need to take Yoongi home. After he had let Namjoon sign everything  and write him a little note that he was taking Yoongi home despite him not being 100% ready and that he wouldn’t sure them for any consequences the man stashed them away and smiled. “Great. Now he is yours. I’ll get the leash on him and then you can take him home!” 

Before Namjoon could ask him how exactly he wanted to put a leash on a fox that scratched if you even came within reach the man took out a stick that looked absolutely harmless - until it cackled to life, the electricity running through it making it hum. As soon as he heard the sound Yoongi jumped on his feet, hissing and growling as if he could scare the employee away while pressing himself onto a corner. The employee simply pressed a button to elongate the stick a little and then pressed it against Yoongi’s flank. The hybrid collapsed immediately a desperate, painful sound escaping him. His eyes were open when the employee opened the door but his whole body was motionless except for little tremors that ran through him. The employee didn’t talk to Yoongi when he approached him, didn’t explain what he was doing, instead he solely talked to Namjoon while treating the hybrid like some object. He took out a little syringe from his pocket and injected it into the foxes’ body. Yoongi’s muscles went lax and his eyes dropped.

“He will be a little drowsy but it will only be like this for an hour or two so you can get him home safely. I would advise you to use a chain to fixate him somewhere in the house until he got used to his new home.” While he was talking he changed Yoongi’s collar to a sturdier one, clipping the leash in place. “Don’t take the muzzle off without fixating his head or else he might bite.” He put a black mask made of thick leather over Yoongi’s face and fixated it at the back of the hybrid’s head. “You can get a sample pack of hybrid food with your purchase if you want or we also have leaflets on barf diets.”

Namjoon gasped, pushing a hand onto his mouth when he saw how they treated the poor hybrid. He gulped heavily, trying not think about it too much right now but just wanting to take him home with him, promise him that he wouldn’t ever hurt him like that. “No, that’s all I need.” Grabbing the bag filled with the stuff the other had gotten for him, apparently all kinds of accessory he needed to take care of a hybrid, Namjoon reached for the leash. He didn’t thank him, but instead walked ahead with furrowed brows and shaking hands. Mumbling to himself, Namjoon kept peeking over his shoulder where Yoongi was stumbling after him. He couldn’t believe, he just did that. He paid a good amount of money for a hybrid that was probably ready to bite him any second, when all he wanted was a soft kitten. The ride home was calm, the fox dozing off a few times, while Namjoon was battling his worries and doubts and if this was the best or the worst decision he’d ever made.

A/N: Another sweet little story ;) Of course the PirateAU will keep on coming weekly, just as this story - only that this one is divided into shorter chapters for the sweet fluff inbetween when you need a break from all our angst lmao anyways... I hope you enjoyed it!!! Don’t forget to leave us a comment or message on how you liked it! ❤

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[jofabray]

Because You’re Mine

Tagging: Jo Fabray and DJ Berry @submissivedjberry

Date: September 13

Bingo: Maid (Jo), TPE for 24 hours (DJ)

Summary: Total Control...out of control

DJ

DJ wasn't feeling her best. She and Jo had both been busy with scene week and she felt like she hadn't gotten to see Jo in ages. Add that onto the fact that she was also feeling weird about her relationship with Jo, confused about where they stood but unsure how to express it, the next 24 hours with Jo were bound to be interesting and she just hoped that she could get through it. She had just arrived at Jo's in the outfit she had picked out for her and was kneeling in the living room as she waited to see what Jo had planned.

Jo

Bingo was the first event that Jo had really thrown herself into, and one thing she hadn't been prepared for was just how much time it would end up taking.  She hadn't had a chance to be with her girl in ages, and that wasn't fun for either of them.  On top of that there was something hanging in the air when they did talk, something that Jo wasn't a good enough Domme to puzzle out without help.  But for twenty four hours her girl was hers in every way, and she was going to take full advantage of it. The maid's outfit she'd chosen for DJ wasn't revealing, more like an actual maid would wear, but it was only the start of what she had in mind.  "Now, your agency tells me that you understand my...specific needs.  That you're a good maid.  So let's be clear.  For the next 24 hours, you're mine.  You don't do anything without my say so, and that includes bathroom breaks and sharing my furniture.  You'll get new orders as we go.  Are we clear on that?"

DJ

She straightened up as Jo began to speak, listening to what the Dominant had to say. She licked at her bottom lip and then nodded once. "I understand completely, Miss Fabray. I will not touch anything or do anything today without your expressed permission. Thank you for choosing me to assist you in all of your needs for the next twenty-four hours. I, and the company that I work for, are very happy to be of service to you." DJ responded swiftly and easily. It was nice, that their time together was playing a part so that DJ didn't have to think about the stuff that was bugging her; but there was that nagging voice reminding her that once again their time together didn't involve going out into town or any form of romance...but at least this time it could be blamed on a chance to get points.

Jo

"That's a good girl.  I'll make sure you're compensated well for your time here today, and I'd be happy to leave both you and the company a great review when you're done."  She smoothed down the dress she'd chosen for the day, gesturing around the suite.  "Just a general cleaning to start, please.  The kitchen, the bathroom and the living room.  During the time you're working you're permitted one bathroom break and one water break, but y'all will need to ask permission before you use 'em."  The first part was going to be simple, and that was very much on purpose - they had 24 hours to fill, and things would only get more difficult.

DJ

She listened to the words that were being spoken, not wanting to miss out on anything that the Domme was asking her to do. "Would you like me to go start now, Miss Fabray? Or is there something I should do first? And thank you very much for your generous offer of letting me use the washroom and have some water." The submissive offered with a kind smile. She could already feel herself settling into the headspace that she would need to be in for the next twenty-four hours, and she knew that that had everything to do with who she was with.

Jo

"You're quite welcome, good girl.  I'd like you to start now, yes - but if you could come over here and give me a kiss first, that would be perfect."  They might be doing TPE and role play, but that didn't mean she wouldn't be giving DJ the usual attention she would in any other scene.  Treating her like a slave wasn't what TPE meant, and it wasn't the way Jo intended to play the scene.  In fact the cleaning was just the beginning, and the rest would be much more entertaining - it was to help satisfy the "maid" square on her card beyond a shadow of a doubt before they went on.

DJ

She eased up onto her feet and then moved toward the Domme. She pressed their lips together in a soft and smooth way and offered her a gentle smile before she then made her way out of the living room and to the bathroom. The bathroom was her least favorite place to clean and so it made sense to start there. She hummed softly as she got to work. She wanted to do this well and properly and so taking her time it was. She was only going to focus on making each place shine, even if it meant cleaning was all she did.

Jo

The kiss was exactly what she'd needed, and Jo let herself relax a little as DJ began to clean.  The bathroom was the logical place to start and Jo would let her get through it without incident.  When she was finished that room, though, there was a wrinkle to be added before she went on.  After all, if she was only cleaning then that would just be boring.  Jo cracked open a Stephen King book she'd read a hundred times, wanting to keep herself from staring as DJ worked - at least to start.

DJ

DJ was meticulous about her cleaning. She was always very serious about following an order well, but she did it even more so in this case, pretending that it was a job that she was getting paid for. When every inch of the bathroom, that she could reach, was cleaned she washed off her hands and then made her way into the kitchen to begin with the next phase of the cleaning. She planned it out in her head about how she wanted to get things done and then started in.

Jo

DJ's effort was very, very noticed by Jo.  This was clearly more than just a scene for her, not something silly or flighty, and she was proud all over again over the submissive who had promised to be hers.  "Before you get any further in the kitchen, could you come and kneel for me please?"  She knew it would throw DJ off her plan, and that was very much the idea.  "There's just a little something I'd like to add."  Once DJ was knelt for her, she held out a butterfly vibrator with a smile.  "Go ahead and put that on for me, will you?  I'll be over here with the remote - and I'm sure I don't need to say it, but no cumming without my permission."

DJ

DJ had been in a zone and when Jo spoke up, she startled, nearly dropping the cleaning supplies that she had in her hand. Luckily, she had managed to hold onto them and she placed them down on the counter before moving to kneel before the Dominant. She didn't think that she had done something wrong and Jo's voice didn't really read disappointment, so DJ was curious to see what exactly the Domme would end up doing. When the vibrator was pulled out, she bit down on her bottom lip and reached for it. She put it on, making sure it was in the proper place, and then stood up again. "I will not cum without permission, Miss. May I please return to cleaning for you?" She waited for the go ahead and then moved into the kitchen, starting with cleaning out the fridge.

Jo

"Very good, darlin'.  You may, and thank you for askin' properly."  DJ was so incredibly good, and she was so incredibly lucky.  As she returned to cleaning, Jo kept half an eye on her book and half an eye on her submissive - waiting for the perfect moment, a moment when she was working busily but wouldn't hit her head or anything if it jerked upward in surprise.  Finally she saw her opening and powered on the vibrator with a flick of her thumb, smirking as she waited for the reaction from across the suite.

DJ

DJ gasped as the vibrator turned on, her grip on the cleaning supplies tightening in response. She took a few deep breaths, getting used to the reality that she was now going to be dealing with as she cleaned and she bit down on her bottom lip harshly in order to center herself. Clearing her throat, she went back to cleaning, once again taking her time. Nothing in the kitchen was dirty, or even messy, but that didn't mean that DJ wasn't still going to give it the same attention she had given the bathroom, even if it was now more challenging.

Jo

Jo wasn't torturous with the vibrator - it was too early for that.  She left it on a low buzz as DJ worked in the kitchen, turning it off once to give the girl a break when Jo calculated she was halfway done.  It stayed off for five minutes or so and roared back to life, turned on a little higher than it had been before.  Truthfully, Jo was glad she'd made other plans for the day - it would have been dull for them both to be housebound.

DJ

She couldn't help the moan that escaped her lips when Jo turned the vibrator back on after giving her the chance to relax and breath for a few moments. It was even hard to clean, DJ needing to be careful that when she used the step stool to clean higher parts of the kitchen that she didn't fall off or drop anything from a height it would not survive from. Eventually, she finished in the kitchen and she washed her hands once again. She had done a fair bit of cleaning and it had definitely been more than an hour of work, perhaps even closer to two. "Mi-Miss Fabray? May...may I please have a glass of water?"

Jo

She may have looked like she wasn't paying attention, but truthfully Jo hadn't read a word of her book since she turned the vibrator on.  There was no way known that she'd leave her submissive to do work unsupervised while being teased, particularly not when it involved a ladder.  No harm would come to DJ under her watch.  The question didn't surprise her, and she looked up to gesture DJ toward the fridge.  "There's a nice cool pitcher in there, darlin', you may grab yourself a glass.  Good girl for askin'."

DJ

She smiled softly at the praise, feeling it cause the butterflies to return to her belly, settling her mind a little bit further. "Would you like one as well?" DJ questioned, grabbing a glass and then opening the fridge. Her body was a little jumpy and so trying to fill a glass with water without spilling it was going to take a lot of effort, but she was going to do her best.

Jo

"Ya know, I would actually love one - thanks for askin'."  Even on a day when she'd given all of her power up to Jo, DJ found ways to give more.  It was a wonderful feeling, and she already had some mental notes to give praise for moments like that when the 24 hours was up.  She did watch carefully as the fridge was opened, knowing that the constant buzz of the vibrator inside of her wasn't making her girl's job any easier.  "In fact, I'll tell ya what...if ya get both glasses filled without spillin' a drop, I'll give y'all a little break from the toy."

DJ

When the task was given, DJ bit down on her bottom lip. She really wanted to say that she would be able to accomplish it, but she honestly wasn't sure if that would be the case. She was aching and twitching and it would be a challenge to even fill one. Breathing slowly, she held the glass firmly and then brought the pitcher up. She tilted it, watching as the water filled the cup, needing to take a break in the middle to ensure she didn't spill. She then moved onto the second cup, trying to accomplish the same thing in the same way, but a particular buzz of the vibrator caused her body to jerk and a small drop of water to land on the counter. Something sounding like a sob pulled from DJ's lips and she shook her head. "I couldn't to it, Miss."

Jo

Jo's plans adjusted constantly through the scene, and the moment she heard the noise from DJ's lips she knew that her girl couldn't be pushed much longer.  "That's alright - that's okay, good girl.  All that means is that y'all aren't going to get a break until you're done in the living room.  But I won't turn it up any higher right now, and I won't turn it off and on.  Y'all are doin' so good for me, okay?  Just bring the water over and y'all and I can take a nice drink before ya finish up."  Her original plan, to really torture DJ with it, wasn't going to work if it was just going to upset her.  The scene was meant to be fun for both of them, and Jo wasn't the kind of Domme who'd torture her submissive.

DJ

"Thank you, Miss Fabray." The submissive responded slowly, still feeling the slight sting of messing up; knowing her reaction had much more to do with how she was feeling outside of the scene than the action of spilling the water, but not wanting to get into it at all. DJ brought the glasses of water over to the couch after refilled the pitcher and putting it back in the fridge. She handed the one glass of water to the Dominant and then eased down onto her knees before taking a sip. She wasn't sure how long she was going to be allowed this rest, but she was going to take full advantage of letting herself simply relax and drink some water, despite the constant buzzing between her thighs.

Jo

"You're welcome, sweet girl."  She knew that DJ didn't handle mistakes well - that had been evident from the first time she'd come over and hadn't knelt at the door.  But they were bound to happen, and it was important that they be able to work through them.  "Thank y'all very much," she accepted the glass, sipping slowly from it.  "Mmm, that's good.  Y'all are welcome to stay here until you're done your water.  Then just the livin' room to go and you're all done.  Now tell me - your contract said you were available for any services, is that right?  So if I wanted a helper to go shoppin' with me, you'd be available for that?"

DJ

Her eyebrows perked up a little bit when Jo mentioned going into town. This would be the first time...in a very, very long time, that they had done anything outside of Jo's suite and her stomach flipped slightly. "Yes, Miss. I am available for that. For anything and everything you want." DJ said. It was nice, to know that they would be going out into town, but she still couldn't set aside the emotions that were building. Though she would have to until bingo week at least was done...and even then, she wasn't sure if she wanted the truthful answer.

Jo

"Wonderful," Jo smiled.  She wasn't an idiot, though, either.  She'd spent enough time with DJ to see in her eyes when something was wrong.  Or perhaps she was an idiot.  Because while she could see that, she didn't know what it was.  And that was her entire job, if she was to be DJ's Domme, to know when something was troubling her and what.  She didn't let it show in her own eyes, but it was going to weigh on her.  "That's exactly what I was hopin' to hear."

DJ

She finished off her water a little while later and then eased herself onto slightly shaky legs. "I'll start on cleaning the living room now if that pleases you, Miss Fabray. And then we can leave whenever you feel ready to do so." She offered, giving the Domme a smile and then getting back to work. She could feel Jo's eyes staring her down and it both eased her and also made her feel a bit overwhelmed. She was sure that Jo was noticing something was going on and she hated that she couldn't hide it more.

Jo

Jo nodded, pleased with everything DJ did - as she always was.  "That does please me, good girl.  Thank you.  Just let me know when you're finished, and come back and kneel for me."  She intended to get them into town soon after that, and hopefully they could enjoy themselves even despite the TPE restrictions.

DJ

She finished off the living room as quickly as she could, while still making sure that it got the same amount of attention as the other rooms that she finished before. She then knelt back down before the Domme, resisting the urge to lay her head on the Domme's lap.

Jo

"Well done," Jo praised.  She held up the remote and turned off the toy, giving DJ the break that she'd promised.  "Y'all did so good for me, thank you for that."  She reached out to close the space between them, resting her hand comfortably on DJ's shoulder.  "Take your time, even out your breathin' a little, and when you feel up to it ya can take the toy off and we'll go into town.  Oh," she mused, though, as if just thinking of it.  "I would like y'all to put a plug in for that part, though."

DJ

Hearing that she would get a bit of a break, she smiled softly, the touch helping to ground her. Her breathing was a little bit stuttered but nothing compared to what it would have been if the Domme had continued teasing her. Hearing that the Domme wanted her to put a plug in, she nodded her head. "Of course, Miss Fabray. Whatever pleases you the most. Would you like me to go grab the plug? And may I please use the washroom before we go into town?"

Jo

"That is an excellent answer.  I'd love it if y'all did, whenever you're ready to move - a medium-sized one, please, with a jewel on the end.  Y'all may, and good girl for askin', but be aware you're not goin' to get any breaks in town.  So ya might want to enjoy this one, alright?"  She'd originally had one more idea for them in town, but as her plan changed and evolved it was left by the wayside.  They could always play with it another day.  For now the trip into town would be challenging enough for her girl.

DJ

When she was ready, she made her way out of the living room to grab the plug as well as use the washroom. While there, she also made sure to clean off the toy that she had used. When she returned, she handed the plug over to the Dominant. "How would you like me to prepare for it, Miss Fabray?"

Jo

Jo stood and stretched, glad the less interesting part of the scene was over with and they could get into town.  Playing in public, in limited doses, would always be fun for her.  Accepting the plug with a soft thanks, she considered DJ's question.  "Put on a little show for me, darlin'.  Lube up a couple of fingers, work yourself open, and let me watch."

DJ

She nodded her head at the Domme's words and slipped her skirt up over her ass, leaning over the side of the couch so it was more comfortable for her. She then lubed up one finger to start and ran it over her ass, working on stretching herself. Anal still wasn't something that she'd done a ton of, but she had done enough to feel comfortable having the plug in when they were in town.

Jo

Jo leaned over the couch eagerly, wanting a good view of the show that DJ was putting on for her.  "That's a good girl," she murmured.  "Just like that.  You look so fucking hot like that, you know?  Just gorgeous."  Jo would have called off the trip to town just to stay home and have sex, but that wouldn't be fair.  Sex could always happen later.

DJ

She moaned and pressed back against her fingers. Having Jo watch her made the entire thing that much hotter. Soon enough she was ready for the plug and she wiggled her ass for the Domme to slip it inside.

Jo

Her girl knew exactly what she liked to see, and DJ had left Jo very much wanting more by the time she was ready for the plug.  That would have to wait for the moment, so when DJ shook her ass a little Jo simply pushed the plug into her gently.  "You do shake that thing awfully good, darlin'.  And that pretty jewel looks so nice in ya."

DJ

She giggled softly when Jo said that her ass looked good when it shook. "I'm glad that you think it's a good look on me, Miss Fabray." She eased off of the couch and then waited for the dominant to tell her what their next move would be.

Jo

"I think pretty much anythin' would be a good look on you.  But that jewel is a good one for sure."  Jo got up to meet her and smiled.  "You can follow after me, we'll head down to the gates and take a cab into town.  You'll share the back seat with me, and any time that the car is in motion, you'll be edging for me."  Jo still got nervous as hell in cars, but the idea of walking all the way into town just seemed like an unproductive way to spend their time.

DJ

"Yes, Miss." Her eyes widened when Jo said that she would be edging whenever the car was moving, her breath coming out shakily. This was going to be a crazy drive. She was still so wet and aching so much, and she had no idea if she would actually be able to do a good job for the Domme. Regardless, she was going to try. She had to prove herself. If Jo didn't want her as a romantic partner as well, she needed to prove that she could do the submissive parts. It didn't take long for them to be in the cab, DJ moving around slightly as she got used to the plug. Her hand slipped between her thighs as the car began to move and she whined softly.

Jo

Jo didn't miss the way DJ's eyes widened.  This would be a challenge, but it was meant to be.  TPE meant that DJ was going to have to completely give herself over, no matter what that meant.  The cab ride was better than usual, mainly because she could be distracted from her own fear by the little noises her submissive was making.  "That's a good girl.  Keep those fingers workin' for me."

DJ

"Want to be good for you, Miss Fabray. Want to be so good for you." Her body ached and she was shaking from the effort of keeping herself from falling over the edge. Every time the cab stopped, she nearly sobbed with relief. It gave her a few moments to regain control and stop herself from falling over the edge. They were going to leave this cab with DJ's skirt and the seat showing clear evidence of her want and need.

Jo

"You've been perfect for me so far - good girl."  She knew how hard the ride would be on DJ, but she also knew that her girl could do anything.  "See?  You did it."  She gestured to the door.  "Step out, please, and come around and open the door for me."  She paid the cab driver, leaving a healthy tip to pay for the cleaning, and accepted DJ's hand to step out.  "Since you've been so good for me, I'd like you to pick one thing you want to buy in town today.  We'll go get that first."

DJ

"All I want is to be good for you." That was a much heavier statement than what should have occurred during the scene. But some of her fears were leaking through. She bit down on her bottom lip when the Domme said that she could buy one thing in town that day. She honestly didn't know what she wanted to get and she thought it over. "I...perhaps a new poster that I could hang up in my bedroom, Miss Fabray?"

Jo

Jo frowned, just a little.  That hadn't sounded like something that was part of the roleplay, but she couldn't rule it out for sure either - it was something they'd have to discuss later, she thought.  "That sounds lovely, darlin'.  Point me in the direction of the stores y'all would like to look in, and stay right beside me while we're walkin'."

DJ

"Thank you. Yes, Miss Fabray." DJ said with a nod. She would prove,  without a doubt, that she could be a good submissive. That way, even if Jo had decided she didn't want her romantically anymore, she would still be of some use to her. And maybe Jo wouldn't change her mind. They walked in silence towards the store, DJ trying to ignore just how wet she was. What she wanted didn't matter.

Jo

"Good girl."  The walk was...well, the walk was strange.  Jo truly didn't understand what was happening between them, and she was more than a little scared of that fact.  She was meant to be in control, and instead it felt like anything but that.  "So, what kind of poster are you lookin' for?" she finally asked, her voice shaking just a little.  Jo cleared her throat, knowing they had to finish the scene for DJ to earn her bingo.

DJ

She bit down on her bottom lip slightly at the question. "I think if possible, Miss Fabray, I would like  a poster of water. I'm not really sure like...what kind of water but...I find it soothing." DJ explained, glancing around the store. "How much time do I have to browse, Miss Fabray?" She questioned, not wanting to ruin anything that Jo might have had planned for them.

Jo

"Water sounds really nice, darlin'."  Jo figured they'd done enough of the maid roleplay to count for the scene, so she was done treating DJ like someone she didn't know.  "Hopefully y'all will like the water when we get to Bay, and hopefully it calms ya."  She looked at her watch, calculating.  "We're right on schedule, darlin', so as long as we're not in here for hours y'all have lots of time.  And I'm pretty sure we've roleplayed enough - it's the TPE that's supposed to last for a day, so you can go back to callin' me by my name."

DJ

When Jo said that she could go back to calling her her name, she nodded her head slightly. "Yes, Domina." She moved to look around the store, biting down on her bottom lip. She was trying to balance what she liked the most with a price that didn't feel like she was taking advantage of the other.

Jo

Jo expected...something.  A smile, perhaps.  But she knew that DJ was doing her best to stay in her role, and maybe that was it.  She followed behind the submissive, wanting to stay close without crowding her or making her feel like she had to rush.

DJ

"What do you think of this one?" She asked, pointing to a poster that showcased a dock and a sunset backdropping the water. It wasn't too expensive but still showcased a really beautiful view. "Do you...would you like me to pay for part of it?" DJ questioned, glancing over at the blonde.

Jo

"It's very pretty," Jo smiled.  "Reminds me of home."  She never meant Mobile when she said home, and she knew that DJ understood that as well.  The question that followed, though, made her brow furrow deeply.  "Do I want y'all to pay for your own reward?  No, my girl.  I don't want that.  It's on me.  Would y'all like it framed?  They can do that and we can pick it up on the way out of town."

DJ

She could see the look on Jo's face and cursed herself. She needed to seem more norma. "Okay, Miss Jo. Thank you...very much." She finally offered the Dominant a smile. "That would be really nice." She said in response to the offer for a frame.

Jo

DJ's smile was the first thing she'd seen in hours that felt like it was remotely normal, and Jo tried to take that as a positive sign.  "You're welcome, my girl.  Let me just go talk to the salesperson here, and I'll be right back."  She arranged for an expensive frame to be put on the poster and to have it delivered to her suite rather than picking it up, and she returned to wrap an arm around DJ's shoulders.  "Ready, darlin' girl?"

DJ

Her shoulders drooped when the Domme's arm wrapped around her shoulder. She leaned into the touch, letting her eyes fall shut for a brief moment. "I'm ready." She said with a soft breath.

Jo

"That's my good girl."  Jo gestured to the door.  If y'all can hold the door open for me, darlin', that'd be great.  We're going to head to that cute little pizza place down the block, the one that does the sesame seed crust.  We'll have a little bite, with the condition that y'all can only eat your pizza if you're edgin'."

DJ

She tried not to sigh too deeply at the stipulation, hiding it by moving to open the door for the Domme. It was going to be a very uncomfortable meal. Though she had to admit that she was expecting it. She waited for her to step out of the store before following after the blonde.

Jo

The sigh might not have been too deep, but it was there.  This clearly wasn't fun for DJ, or perhaps what she'd expected when she offered Jo a TPE scene.  She couldn't just take the order back, but obviously they couldn't go on with her asking DJ to do things she didn't enjoy.  That wasn't the point of the exercise.  "Thank you, darlin' girl," she murmured, leading her to the pizza place and letting her open that door as well.  "I'll order for us both," she quickly took DJ's menu when the waiter brought it, and he didn't blink an eye.

DJ

She opened the door without a second thought for them both and then moved over to the table with her Domme. However, for the first time since she met her, she didn't immediately take a seat at the table, waiting for the order to do so. And when Jo didn't even let her take a glance at the menu, she figured that it didn't matter that she wasn't sitting anyway. She linked her hands together behind her back, waiting for a sign of what she should do next.

Jo

Jo looked up, gesturing to the seat beside her.  "C'mon and take a seat, darlin'."  She wasn't good at TPE, thast was obvious, because telling her to sit should have happened right away.  The waiter returned and she ordered them a medium pizza to share, along with a couple of waters.  "Come over and kiss me, my girl.  Haven't had enough of those today."

DJ

DJ leaned over and let her lips press against her Domme's. Her eyes fell shut and she let herself sink into the touch from the blonde. It felt like it had been so long since she had been able to kiss Jo and tears nearly started to well in her eyes at the feeling. She was so scared she was going to lose this. Hated that she just couldn't even be happy.

Jo

Jo had been ready to order, but the way that DJ felt against her she knew she couldn't just do that.  So she found a middle ground, pulling back a little before taking DJ in her arms for a hug.  "You've done so good today, darlin' girl.  I'm so proud.  Just relax here for a few minutes - for the prices they charge for pizza, they can give us a few minutes to relax.  Breathe easy for me, beautiful."

DJ

She nuzzled her face into the Domme's neck, breathing in her familiar scent and working on stopping the trembling of her bottom lip. She needed to get herself together so that they could get back into the swing of things. She didn't want to ruin their first time into town, any more than she already had, because she couldn't deal with her emotions. She took a few deep breaths, and only pulled back when she didn't feel like she looked about ready to cry.

Jo

"That's my girl."  Jo was hurting, profoundly.  She should have been able to tell what was wrong, what was on her submissive's mind, and it was a mystery to her.  That feeling sucked.  For now, though, all they could do was get through the 24 hours they needed to and then they could hopefully start figuring things out.  "Good girl."  She kissed DJ's forehead.  The waiter returned, and DJ ordered them a medium pizza and a couple of bottles of water.  "Darlin', while we're waiting...tell me another thing I don't know about y'all."

DJ

"Something you don't know about me..." She mused softly biting down on her bottom lip. "I've always wanted an animal. But my dads weren't around enough to feel comfortable getting us an animal to take care of. They figured it was enough that we kind of had to take care of each other." DJ responded, tapping her fingers lightly against the table.

Jo

Jo took that in, considering.  "I suppose that makes a sort of sense.  Is getting a pet something you'd like to do, once you've reached level 4?  Or even after that, once we're out of this place and moved to Bay?"  She'd be happy for them to have a pet, but she wasn't sure if that was in DJ's plans or not.

DJ

It was still nice, and eased some pain, when Jo talked about the future that they would have together in Bay. At least, in Jo's mind it seemed, they would still enter a claim even if it wasn't a romantic one. "I think I would like a pet at some point, Miss Jo. I'm not sure when...but...I think getting a kitten would be a fun place to start."

Jo

"Ooh, a kitten," Jo smiled.  "I could go for a kitten.  What kind would you like?  Something fancy, or just one of the ones from a rescue?"  She was open to whatever her girl wanted, she was just curious to see what that might be.

DJ

She paused and shrugged. "It would be nice to rescue an animal. So maybe not even a kitten. Maybe an older cat that's been stuck in a shelter for a long time." Talking about this was helping DJ relax and she was honestly extremely grateful for something to focus on.

Jo

DJ was a wonderful person, Jo knew that.  But every now and then she'd say or do something to reinforce it.  "I think that's a real good idea.  I'm sure the kitty would appreciate that, and y'all could be the hero who gave them a new life."

DJ

This was the most normal DJ had felt the entire time she was with Jo that day. They were seated in a pizza shop, as close to one another as they could get, chatting about the possibility of one day adopting a cat. It was exactly what she needed, but it also wasn't enough to quite the voices that had been keeping her awake. Their time in the pizza shop was spent with DJ hating every moment of her life as she edged herself so that she could actually finish two slices of pizza. By the end of their dinner, the seat was soaked, DJ was overwhelmed, and she really needed to cum. However, that wasn't in the cards for her that day. The rest of the day went as smoothly as it could with DJ feeling out of sorts. But at least it ensured that that both of them would cross off a square.