#but i like saying hes a slag <3 for the bit

[stealingpotatoes]

Luke : Wow! Clearly this Jedi code was more of a set of guidelines! Ezra : Yes that must be it!

Cal : *Stops making out with Merrin for a moment* I concur!

Ahsoka : *Watching as Ghost Anakin tackles Ghost Obi-Wan off screen to keep him from spoiling the moment* No comment.

LOL YES PERFECT SEQUEL

(commission info // kofi support!)

[dizzybevvie]

My mum abt to slag off the family members Im closest too for no reason

[forsworned]

Okay, okay, hear me out . I neeed a y/n sweet innocent thing who works with 141 (probably computer shit) idk but she wanted to step out her shell & goes out drinking with the boys were she loses a bet with soap & he makes y/n wear a skimpy outfit like those " hot nurse or maid" outfits around the team for a day and it makes price and/or ghost go absolutely feral . The end. Please and thank you p s love your writing.

Author's note: You know normally I do not do these sort of requests because I think that the whole like oh y/n needs to dress in something slutty because she lost a bet schtick is like somewhat demeaning. Like I'm all for it happening to the 141 or whatever but, I put my own spin on it, so even if you don't enjoy it I will but thank you for supporting me anon <3 also screaming at the images I chose for this hahaha

Despite the fact that being in the military was a constant inner battle of not becoming a barrack bunny, it made it a bit easier knowing that 90% of the men were just straight-up fucking whores. So when you lose 7-6 in back-to-back rounds of Blackjack to Johnny, he thinks it's funny to propose a bet that leaves you practically bare-ass naked to every soldier on base.

"'ll be like wearin' a bikini." He says.

To which you can give him a piercing glare that sends an unpleasant shudder up his spine, but regardless he's laughing his ass off. It's not exactly an everyday occurrence that Johnny is winning bets against you so he's taking advantage of the opportunity to embarrass you just as much as you do him.

Wolf whistles and cat calls are heard from the common area that the 141 was currently lounging in, and their ears perk up at the sound of heels clicking against the floor.

"Hell's fuckin' bells, you really wore it, bonnie." Johnny eyes are twinkling and his grin is stretched from ear to ear when he gets a gander at you.

You're wearing the sluttiest maid outfit you could have ever conjured up from many, many, many Halloween's ago when you were in your Chicks Gone Wild Era (iykyk) and Price, Kyle and Simon are flabbergasted by your appearance. Kyle is dropping his spoon that he just stirred his coffee with, Simon is half turning the page to his book and Price just straight up chokes on his London Fog, sputtering it all over his MacBook.

"Fuck you." You mutter, plopping down on the couch next to Simon as you readjust the mobcap on your head. Your dress is riding up as you sit, but you cross your legs and Price is handing you a pillow to cover yourself up to which you sheepishly smile up at him and thank him.

"Why are ye complainin'? Y'look good, bonnie."

"You put her up to this?" Kyle asks, bewildered at the situation unfolding.

"Lookin' good, Serg!" A passing herd of soldiers call out to you as they chuckle amongst themselves and continue to whistle at you.

You shake your head and turn to Johnny with an exasperated look. "Is this what you wanted? To embarrass me?"

"It's not very becoming of you, Johnny." Price murmurs against his mug before taking a sip but it's evident that his face is reddening by the second by your scanty appearance.

"Oh, she does it to me all th' time!" Johnny throws his hands up in half frustration and half amusement.

But Simon on the other hand is silent. He doesn't really know what to say, but he's starting to feel the warmth rushing between his legs.

"L.t., thoughts?"

And Johnny knows exactly what the fuck he's doing while he's shooting him that shit-eating grin that makes Simon want to fucking bumrush the absolute shit out of the Scotsman.

Admittedly this has Kyle and Price's tongues poking their cheeks as they await his answer.

"Y'r a fuckin' slag, Johnny."

And that causes the room to erupt into laughter as you're all clapping your knees and keeling over. Johnny is slightly embarrassed by the jab, but nonetheless, is laughing along. It was nice to have a little laugh in the 141.

[mypoisonedvine]

𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 | kitten braden x reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | being a peep show girl can be sort of solitary work, so it's nice to spend the day with miss kitten... and your time together proves to be not only profitable, but a chance to act on a secret crush.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 4.4k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | smut (18+ only!!), voyeurism/exhibitionism, fingering, oral sex, girldick <3, penetration/top!kitten, creampie, come eating, titty sucking, brief transphobia (t-slur), friends/coworkers to lovers, lots of filth with some feelings in there too c:

You laid back across the massive velvet ottoman, sighing as you glanced at Kitten— she was laying on her stomach but propped up by her elbows, feet kicked up and crossed as she wrote in her journal with a fluffy-tipped pen. 

“What are you writing?” you asked her.

“A letter,” she answered sweetly, tilting her head a bit, “to my friend Charlie.”

“Will you tell her about me?” you asked with a smile.

“I already did,” she answered, “just here— sometimes they have me working with other girls,” she read aloud from the page, “like today, I’m paired up with the biggest slag in the whole place—”

“Fuck off!” you laughed, grabbing one of the nearby pillows and smacking her in the back with it, and she grinned at you.  “You didn’t really say that, did you?”

“No, of course,” she rolled her eyes.  “I told her that I made a friend.  That was what I said about you.”

You felt a little warmth in your cheeks as you sat up, tossing the pillow away— the whole thing was set up to look like a slumber party, so pillows were plentiful.  Of course, you’d never actually worn lingerie and heels to a slumber party, nor had you ever had a sexy pillow fight… but you probably would have if you were getting paid then, as you were now.

Speaking of, it was only a moment after Kitten finished her letter and tucked the journal and pen away that the red light flicked on— and you knew you had a customer on the other side of the glass.

“Well, hello Mister,” Kitten greeted with that sultry voice of hers, and you smiled as you knelt on the plushy surface beneath you, turning your body towards her but keeping your eyes on the barely-visible silhouette behind the wall.

“Look at you two,” a deep, rough voice praised as you smiled and moved a little closer to your companion.

“Do you like to watch girls play with each other, Mister?” Kitten asked coyly, running her fingers up your arm delicately.

The gruff voice chuckled, a scratchy sort of sound as it came through the speaker.  “You’re a couple of naughty little birds, aren’tcha?”

You giggled as you shook your head, before tenderly laying it on Kitten’s shoulder.  “No, sir, we’re very good girls— we like to do exactly as we’re told.”

“Mm, bet ya do,” he replied.  

“Care to introduce yourself, Mister?” Kitten asked quietly.  “We like to know who we’re talking to.”

“I think you two are the more interesting ones,” he replied.  “What are your names?”

“I’m Kitten,” she answered, seeming even more coy as she said that, “and this is my friend Lovely.”

“Lovely indeed,” the man growled.  “Just a friend, eh?”

“Well,” you feigned hesitation, looking up at Kitten and biting your lip, “sometimes we… experiment.”

It was all about the innocent act— you weren’t sure why, but it drew them in like moths to a flame: Kitten had always specialised in this, looking and acting like a little naive ingénue before revealing her dirty side.  You were used to the more classic stuff… you know, just acting like the most horny, whorish creature who ever lived.  You liked this more, especially since you didn’t have to do it alone.

“And today we’re having our special playtime,” Kitten continued, moving in closer to you but keeping a teasing distance between you— for the customer’s benefit, of course, not yours.  So why was it having an effect on you?  “Would you like to watch?”

“Yeah,” the man said instantly, “wanna see you ladies kiss each other.”

You smiled and sat up to eye-level with her, both of you shutting your eyes and leaning in.  The kiss was gentle and sweet, your fingers carefully brushing over her hair and then cupping her face as your lips moved together.  It was almost routine now, with how much you’d kissed each other today… almost.  You still felt your hips shift slightly, a hot feeling gathering between your legs.

The man groaned in approval through the speaker, but it was Kitten’s teeth brushing over your lip that made a chill run up your spine.

“Fuck, your tits are getting hard, aren’t they?” the man noticed— you hadn’t even realised it, but yes, your nipples were starting to poke up through the lace.  “Play with ‘em, Kitten.”

Slender, delicate hands ran up your body, carefully teasing your breasts at first before starting to really properly grope them; you moaned softly at the feeling, deepening the kiss and feeling yourself try to press in a little closer to her.  You were already so needy for friction of some kind, and you held on to Kitten’s thighs as you tried not to grip them too hard.

“Betcha wanna put those pretty lips on her tits, don’t ya, Kitten?” the man presumed.  The kiss broke quickly, making you almost lean in for more before you came back to reality.

“Yes,” Kitten sighed, “I do— and they’re so beautiful, do you want to see them?”

“‘Course I do, fuck,” the man groaned.

She was slow about it— she was slow about everything.  That was the idea, after all— to run the clock as best you could so they’d keep paying for more.  Her fingers delicately pulled down the straps of your lingerie, leaving little goosebumps behind as you sighed with anticipation.  She gently tugged the top down until your tits were free, and all three of you groaned a little as they were revealed.  

She held them again, and you loved the feeling of her touch against your bare skin.  Leaning down, she teasingly licked the bud as those big blue eyes blinked up at you sweetly.  You wanted to keep holding her gaze, but you couldn’t help your eyes falling shut with pleasure when she swirled her tongue around your nipple, holding tighter onto your breast before closing her lips around it and suckling.

“Fuck,” you breathed, but you smiled— not just from the feeling, but from realizing that your time would’ve run out by now if your customer had only paid once.  He must have added more coins to extend the time… teasing works, it seems.

She moved her mouth to the other nipple as you moaned louder, your hands sliding up her legs to run over her sides, her back, even teasing her tits to try to make it fair.  You couldn’t help it: you just wanted to touch her everywhere.

“You don’t quite fit in those panties anymore, Miss Kitten,” the man noticed, and she blushed a little as she pulled back from you and bit her lip.

“W-well, I can’t help that,” she defended, and you felt your chest deflate a bit at the sight of how hard she was, the tight lace looking like it was restraining her as the leaking tip bobbed up against her stomach, obscured slightly by the see-through material of her babydoll lingerie.

“Mm, maybe your friend can,” the man suggested.  “I bet you know how to use your mouth, don’t you, Lovely?” 

You tried not to seem too eager as you reminded yourself internally that you needed to go as slow as you could get away with.  You nodded and started to sink your head down into Kitten’s lap, before stopping and looking at the mirror again— almost losing your train of thought when you saw how hot you looked together in the reflection.

“Would you like to see me use it, Mister?” you asked shyly.

“Yeah— show me what a good little cocksucker you are.”

Kitten leaned back slightly, giving you a little more room to reach down and tenderly slide the panties down her pale, smooth thighs.  You tried to be real cute about it, just giving one little lick to the tip and giggling proudly when it flexed up towards you for a second.  “Oh!  Does that feel good, Kitten?”

“Y-yes,” she breathed.  You did it again, purring at the moan she let out; she watched you with that pretty mouth fallen slack and smeared with pink gloss, throat bobbing for a second when you met her gaze and even gave her a little wink that your customer couldn’t see from this angle.

You licked all the way from the base to the tip, hoping to cover the whole thing just with your tongue before you even did anything else.  You teased her for a while, trying to hear her little mewls and whimpers over the sounds of the man’s moaning through the speaker.  

Wrapping your lips around her fat tip, she bit her lip and dropped her head back with a sigh.  

“That’s good,” the man groaned proudly, “y’like that, Kitten?”

“Yes,” she panted, starting to push your head down so you would take more, “s-so good…”

“You can stop now,” he decided, and you both hesitated before you pulled away and sat up.  Poor Kitten, she looked almost heartbroken at getting cut off like that— you would’ve given anything to make her come…

Sitting up, she reached for your lips— you hoped she would kiss you again, but instead she wiped up where some of your lipstick had smeared, and you felt almost shy again as she did it.  Such a sweet gesture had no place in a job like this.

“C’mon, let’s see how wet little Lovely is after that,” the man demanded, and Kitten pulled you into her lap— your back to her chest, her arms wrapping around you— as she slowly spread your legs for you.  “Fuck, soaked through the panties, did you?”

“Did you?” Kitten repeated in a surprised whisper just to you, slipping two fingers down to tease you and feel the wet patch on the lace.  In your defence, these things weren’t really built for absorption, were they?

“Lemme see that pretty hole, then,” he ordered.  “Show me her cunt.”

Kitten gingerly pulled your panties aside, and you caught in the reflection not only how soaked and swollen you really were, but how absolutely wrecked your facial expression had become.

“Shit, s’a pretty fuckin’ pussy,” the voice praised darkly, groaning again when Kitten used her fingers to spread your slick lips and give the customer a better look at your opening.  

“Should I rub her a little more, Mister?” Kitten asked sweetly, starting before he’d even agreed to it.

Your back arched up as she ran her finger over your clit, teasing it with gentle circles.  You shut your eyes and sighed, losing control of your hips as they rocked into her touch.  “R-right there, Kitten,” you pleaded softly, but apparently your customer had other plans.

“Put two fingers inside her,” he ordered Kitten, making you whine in frustration at the separation from where you were most sensitive.  

She was careful about it— she had to be, with her nails— but it still felt intense as she pushed her fingers inside you, even just two stretching you quite a bit as you moaned lowly.  They moved slowly and deliberately within you, and her heavy breathing began to tickle your neck as your legs almost tried to push together from the sensation.

You were starting to really get into it, moaning and rocking against her as she kissed your neck and played with one of your tits with her free hand.  So, of course, he had to stop you again.  “I wanna see you fuck her,” the man said suddenly, and your heart skipped for a half-second.  It had never gone that far— you didn’t even know if she did that— but you felt your channel clench on her fingers at just the thought.

“Oh, my— you’re very dirty, aren’t you, Mister?” Kitten noticed.

“Just do it,” he insisted, “wanna see how she looks with a cock in her.”

You could hear the coins rolling in the slot, so you obeyed; it ended up with both of you kneeling a bit on the ottoman, her body still slotted behind yours, your heavy eyes transfixed on the reflection— and ostensibly on the man on the other side— as she looked down at where she was about to enter you.

“So hot,” the man praised, but you could barely hear him— you just heard Kitten softly ask you if you were ready.  Instead of answering or nodding, you just started to slowly sink down onto her, making both of you moan.  “Yeah, fuck,” he went on, and Kitten suddenly grabbed your hip to keep you steady, guiding you just how she needed until your ass was flush against her lap and your back was pressed to her chest.

“Oh,” you breathed, melting slightly against her as you both adjusted to the feeling.  Slowly, she started to move— and you moved with her, less like thrusting and more like writhing.  It was sensual, it was sexy; it was driving you fucking crazy.

She ran her tongue along the edge of your ear as she grinded against you, your eyes rolling back at the feeling.  “Fuck, Kitten,” you mumbled under your breath, arching your back as her hand slipped down over the front of your body, reaching between your legs to start teasing your clit.

“Yeah, like that,” the man agreed, breathing heavily himself.  “So fuckin’ dirty…”

You moved together in perfect harmony, her body seeming to fit so naturally against yours— and inside it.  She moaned softly by your ear, a little deeper than you were used to hearing it, and you shuddered with delight as you imagined that was how her real pleasure sounded.

“Feels good, does it, Lovely?” he prompted, his grin obvious in his voice.

“Yes,” you moaned loudly, “yes, so good…”

You were so sensitive from being essentially teased all day, from the joy of pleasing her and the effortless way she played with your body like her toy.  Still, it was a little embarrassing how quickly you became overwhelmed with the feeling.

She moved a little faster, egging on your needy moans and holding on tighter to your hips as she filled you just right.  “Oh, fuck,” you yelped, feeling the pressure start to build as you tried your best to push back against her thrusts and get her that much deeper.

“You like how she fucks you, eh?” the man taunted.

“Yes!  Yes, she’s amazing,” you panted, biting your lip as you fought the urge to beg Kitten for more.

“Never been fucked by a tranny before, have ya?” the man asked with a rough laugh.

You reached back behind your own head to hold onto the back of Kitten’s neck, pulling her closer so you could lean in to whisper in her ear— the ear your hidden watcher couldn’t see.  “Don’t listen to him, Kit,” you breathed, “you’re so fucking beautiful.  I’m so close.”

She turned her head and kissed you, sloppy and needy with heavy breaths passing between your lips to hers and back; it was all getting blurry and sweaty and that feeling just kept getting heavier and sharper as you rocked your hips back against hers.  Every movement pushed you just that much closer— 

“Fuck, I’m out of coins!” you heard the voice announce, but you were barely paying attention— until the red light suddenly went off.  Then, both of you stopped, panting and breaking away from the kiss to look up at the light.  You waited a moment to see if it would turn back on, only to glance at each other and begin to laugh as you realised you weren’t going to be hearing from your visitor again.

“We can stop,” Kitten noticed— but she didn’t move away, she only looked at your eyes, and you saw a hint of nervousness in hers.

“I don’t wanna stop,” you admitted in a whisper.

“Me either,” she smiled, speaking under her breath as one of her hands came up to hold your face sweetly.  “I don’t ever want to stop.”

You kissed her, and the whole thing felt different without anyone watching.  Sweeter, softer— you loved feeling her smile against you, and you smiled back, until she started to move again and your lips dropped to a moan.  “Oh, Kitten,” you breathed, writhing against her as her hands moved all over you, touching anywhere they could reach.  She pet and teased your thighs with one hand, pinching a hard nipple with the other, until you were shaking with desperation.

“You’re easy to please,” she noticed with a teasing laugh, trailing kisses along your neck and shoulder, and you groaned through a grin.

“Easier when you’ve had me worked up all day,” you admitted.  “Kissing and touching you for hours but never getting to come… you should see me when I get home from work, Kit, I can’t stop touching myself— beat my poor clit all night, soak the sheets—”

“Poor thing,” she clicked her tongue at you, and you shivered again.  

“You never got naughty after work?” you pressed.

“I didn’t say that,” she mumbled with a smirk, and you laughed softly.  “I thought about you… about how soft your lips are… your sweet tongue…”

“I wanted to taste you, Kit,” you blurted out, excited that she might have had the same fantasy.  “Fuck, I wanted someone to tell us to do it today— to make me put my mouth on you.  I wanted it so bad—”

“It felt better than I imagined it,” she admitted.

“God, I wasn’t— I didn’t even do it like I wanted,” you admitted with a groan.  “I wanted so much more…”

“Show me,” she begged— it almost reminded you of those men you had to listen to all day, except unimaginably perfect.

You sat up and spun around in a moment, pushing her down onto the ottoman with a sigh.  She smiled at your eagerness, only to moan when you instantly dove down and licked her again— but harder and faster this time, with a wide tongue and a dark stare up at her.

“O-oh, darling,” she praised, but could only choke on a moan when you wrapped your mouth around her and sunk down in one quick motion.  Yes, you choked, but you wanted to— you wanted as much of her as you could get, any way you could get it.  “Oh!”

You hummed happily as you sucked hard and bobbed fast, too desperate for any teasing now.

“You are a dirty girl,” she cooed, holding onto your hair as you stroked what your lips couldn’t reach and did your best to pleasure her every way you knew how.  “You can taste yourself, can’t you?”

You hummed again, agreement this time, and she tightened her grip on your hair.

You could only take a few more minutes of that— your poor cunt was dripping, flexing on nothing, desperate to be filled again.  “Fuck, I need you,” you explained as you pulled away and climbed up to straddle her lap, that grip on her now guiding the swollen head to your entrance.  She looked up at you with the slightest smirk around her open mouth, and you could tell she was aching for you, too.

Sinking down, you both moaned loudly— and you almost whimpered when she went even deeper than she had before.  Balancing your hands on her chest, you tried to adjust to it as quickly as possible because you had absolutely burned through all your patience already.

When you were ready to move, the pace seemed to pick up right away: in a moment, you were a blur on her, lifting yourself over and over as each stroke created the perfect friction against your sensitive walls.  You rode her hard and fast, desperate for release, letting your head fall back at the feeling.  “Oh, Kitten— y-you feel so good—”

“You too, dear,” she breathed, grabbing your hands and holding them tightly— your fingers interlaced with hers, and you held onto them for balance as you bounced on her.  “You too— so warm inside…”

“Fuck, fuck!” you whined.  “Wh-what if someone puts in a coin now,” you panted, “and sees us doing this?”

“Then they’ll probably blow in their britches,” she suggested with a grin, and you laughed before another movement forced her tip right up against your spot, making you gasp again.  

“G-god, don’t make me laugh, Kitten— I’m so close, I’m so fucking close—”

“I know,” she breathed, “I know— I can feel your little pussy, squeezin’ me—”

“Fuck,” you whined.

“What if we came together, darling?” she suggested as she panted under you.  “Wouldn’t it be filthy, if I came inside you?”

“O-oh, fuck, perfect,” you moaned, “it would be perfect, Kit— please, please—”

“Yes,” she hissed, holding your hands tighter.  “Let’s see you come, darling— no faking it like you do for the boys.”

“Gonna come,” you promised, nodding fervently as you felt yourself moving (inside and out) completely on instinct.  

It made you shake all over, it made you bite down on your lip and dig your nails into her hands; it was sharp and hot and you had never felt anything quite like it… probably because you’d never had the patience for being on the edge for so long.  You didn’t want to be too loud, not only to avoid getting caught but to make sure you could hear her and the precious way she moaned as she spilled inside you, her hips shakily bucking up into you when your own strength failed.

Slowly, it came to a shaky and shivery stop, and you blinked your eyes open to find the world a little blurrier, but sweeter, than it was before.

You sunk down, still holding her hands and sliding them upward as you brought your face to hers, smiling and almost losing yourself in her eyes.  She kissed you— slow, soft, both of you still catching your breath— and hummed in delight as you relaxed on top of her.

“That was perfect,” she whispered to you, and you moaned quietly in agreement before breaking the kiss to lay your head down beside hers on the velvet.  She turned her face to keep looking at you, and you must have been that way for one of those brief-yet-infinite moments, just looking at each other and trying to soothe your hearts as they raced.

“We should clean up,” you finally sighed, “before someone sees us…”

“How will we explain all that come leaking out of your pretty hole, hm?” she asked with a proud smile, making you bite your lip.

“Maybe I’ll just be very wet for our next customer,” you laughed, barely finding the strength— mental or physical— to let go of her hands and roll off of her onto your back.

You both pulled yourself together as best you could— gone soft now, she tucked herself between her legs again and slipped her panties back up, and you found your discarded lingerie top laying off the side to put back on.

You were about to reapply your lipstick when she stopped you, gently laying her hand on yours, and you raised an eyebrow.

“Kiss me again,” she pleaded softly, “before someone puts a coin in—”

You jumped forward and pressed your lips to hers, tossing the lipstick aside; she hummed against you and pulled you closer, giggling into the kiss in the most adorable way.

Neither of you noticed the light turning on, but you both jumped slightly when another man’s voice— a little higher-pitched and smoother than the last— came over the speaker.  “My my,” he purred, both of you breaking away and looking at your reflection in the glass.  “Looks like you two started without me.”

“We couldn’t help it,” you panted out as you draped your arms around Kitten, giving the man on the other side a pitiful-yet-pleading sort of look.  “We’re just so worked up, is all… do you know that feeling?”

This was your wheelhouse— needy, horny, raunchy.  Much more natural for you than Kitten’s innocent style; but she did just fine with this one, too, leaning in to nibble at your ear as she stroked your back.  “Don’t stop on my account,” the man offered, “you two look perfect together.”

“We do,” Kitten agreed in a whisper as you both saw your reflection, before holding your face tenderly and turning it to hers, kissing you harder this time.  So much for the teasing, soft kisses you’d been trading all day— you were both smiling and panting into it, falling all over each other until she was leaning back and you were between her legs, running your fingers over her hips and chest until she moaned for you.

“You do more than just kiss, don't you?" the man asked, and you grinned against Kitten's sweet lips as you nodded.

"We do whatever you want," you promised, glancing to the side at him— or, where he would be, if you could see him.

"Shit, almost out of time," he noticed, and you both grinned at the sound of more coins rolling in.

Kitten's hand slipped down the front of your body, into your panties, as she purred sweetly at you.  "Oh, right there," you moaned— certainly overdoing it for the benefit of your watcher, but not entirely lying about how good it felt.

Just when she was doing exactly what you needed her too, and getting you all needy again in the process, she pulled her hand away and smirked as you whined softly.

“She’s so wet,” Kitten informed the man with a purr.  “See how she’s soaked my fingers?”

She held up the manicured hand, a mix of your come and hers dripping down her fingers as you heard a happy moan from the man on the other side.  “Wily minx,” he scolded you playfully.

“Why don’t you clean these off for me, Lovely?” Kitten instructed you, tilting her chin up a bit and watching you as she brought the fingers to your lips and watched you lick them slowly.  You hummed at the taste, loving having a secret with her while this man watched, none the wiser.  You fluttered your eyes shut as you started to suck them properly, hollowing your cheeks and swirling your tongue around the digits inside your mouth.

"So naughty," the man praised, "can't wait to see all you girls can do."

More coins, more time; you gave Kitten a knowing look, and her expression in return was understandably a little weary and yet obviously excited.  You both knew you had a long night ahead of you, and your heart was already fluttering with excitement.  Not just your heart, of course, but your heart most of all.

[obsessedduh]

YANDERE!READER X CARELESS!WILLING!SIMON PT2.

previous part —> here | next part —> here

cw: mentions of blood, gore, obsession, perverse and creepy reader, yandere intendecies, mention of a random oc. implied fem reader but i tried to make it as gender neutral as possible.

MDNI – MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

mini taglist (by mini i mean two people who've requested 😭): @warlike-morning @smoothruby

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

Careless!Willing!Simon 'Ghost' Riley, who you've tried to avoid the hell out of and he's realised. he isn't daft, and you aren't as slick as you thought you were. don't think he hasn't noticed whenever he's injured you're not there, but whenever someone else is injured, you magically appear out thin air. when you sit across the mess hall, staring at him as per usual and he catches you, you immediately continue eating your lunch as if nothing happened. oh, how it makes him laugh. he finds it adorable, thinking your plans have worked, but really, he's outsmarted you.

── ✧《✩》✧ ──

their was a new female recruit that joined the task force a couple of weeks ago, her name was ella and to everyone else she was a dove but to you she was fucking raven. always batting her stupid eyelids at simon whenever he's talking. always fucking laughing extra hard at his jokes. always giving him her sickening sweet smile. gosh, that stupid smile makes you want to rip out each and every one of teeth and shove it right up her ass.

what makes it worse is that she knows, she knows, how obsessed you were with simon. dirty fucking slag asked you what do you think about him on her first day, when helping her with her injury she got from training, she seemed sweet so you told her that you had a crush on him. she told you, you could trust her and that she'll keep it a secret; clearly that was a fucking lie. she knows how much you fucking like him, she's just being a filthy attention-seeking slut.

you try to ignore it and focus on your job but of course, this dumb bitch has to come back because she has an injury on her arm, crying like a fucking baby and you being 'sweet' person you are, said sure you'll help her with a half-assed smile.

you told her to lift up her sleeve, it was a cut, not even that deep, it was deep, so why the fuck is she being such a big baby about it. you had to force yourself not to roll your eyes at her sobs and that to only keep calm until the stiching part. oh you can't wait until that bit. you carefully treated her wound, cleaning blood up and then you grabbed your stiching kit. you grabbed your hegar (needle holder) and you grabbed the thread, before you poked the needle straight into her wound.

she screamed and you quickly covered her mouth, grinning as she sobbed and try to squirm away from your grip, you could finally tell her, what you want her to do.

"scream once, i will poke the needle in harder, understand."

you said 'understand' like a sentence, a threat and you grinned as she nods. you uncover her mouth and she continues crying, what a fucking baby.

"now ella, remember your first day, when i told you i fancied simon?"

she speaks and you couldn't even hold in your laugh, her voice is broken with sobs and the stuttering makes it even better!

"y-yeah...i remember t-that."

"mmm. that's good, so why for the past 3 weeks have you been flirting with him, huh?"

"i w-wasn't fli-flirting with him"

you slowly poke the needle in harder and as her eyes widen in shock and pain.

"o-ok! o-ok! i was and i'm s-sorry, i won't do it again!"

"won't do what again?"

"i won't f-flirt with s-simon again!"

you were about to say good girl but you were cut of by someone opening the door, you could've sworn you locked it!? you turn, only to see the person you've been trying avoid, simon.

he stares at the two of you, you could he was grinning from under thar mask of his.

"caught you red-handed again, medic."

he said before continuing leaving the two of you alone, you couldn't help but chuckle at that. a little inside joke the pair of you share. ella, poor sweet ella, looked so confused when he didn't help her. you pouted at her mockingly before you pulled the needle out her wound roughly, snickering at her pained whine she let out and then stiched her up.

"tell anyone about this and i will kill you, understood?"

she stare at you like your crazy and nods before rushing out of there. you snicker, 'stupid bimbo', you thought but then you replay simon's words your head.

"caught you red-handed again, medic."

fuck...now what?

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ

wanna know more about me —> here

masterlist —> here

[in1-nutshell]

This is the second part of the past request for Elita One's twin sister reaction from Dinobots and Wreck-Gar.

Hope you enjoy!

Elita One's Twin sister reactions from Jazz and the Jettwins

SFW, Platonic, Hinted romance, Cybertronian (techno organic) reader

TFA

Set Pre-Sentinel and Elita reunion.

Buddy had come to visit Dinobot Island early in the morning before most of the team was up and ready.

She had promised Grimlock and the others to spend the day with them. After that they would watch the meteor shower.

There was less light pollution on the island, meaning the stars would be better to look at.

Bless the Dinobots, they really tried to stay up late, but one by one they ended up falling asleep before it was time to see them.

First, it was Slag.

Then, Swoop.

Finally, Grimlock.

Buddy petting Grimlock’s helm in the cave.

“You can sleep Grimmy. It’s okay.”--Buddy

Grimlock trying to suppress a yawn.

“Grimlock not tried… not tired…”--Grimlock

“Hey… its okay, you guys had a long day of sparring and training. You deserve the rest.”--Buddy

Grimlock huffing tiredly.

“But Buddy excited for stars and so far away…”--Grimlock

“I won’t go too far, I promise. As soon as it done, I’ll come straight back for our sleepover okay?”--Buddy

Grimlock response by snoring loudly.

Buddy chuckling softly before quietly leaving the cave.

Now Buddy was laying on her back looking at the twinkling lights.

Soon it would be time for the show to start.

She closed her optics feeling the gentle wind brushed against her frame.

This was nice.

Buddy peacefully enjoying the breeze.

The winds pick up a bit.

“Hmmm.”--Buddy

The winds start getting harsher as stray twigs start flying around.

Buddy opens her optics and sits up looking at the trees around her sway more and more.

“Carl from the weather station said it was going to be a light breeze.”--Buddy

The winds start picking up even more as her tree sways more and more.

“He didn’t say anything like Category 3 hurricane winds!”--Buddy

Then the fireball hit the tree knocking Buddy into the mud below.

Buddy groaned as the mud stuck onto her paintjob.

It was going to take forever to get all of this out of her joints, not to mention the sanitation treatments she was going to have to do before she could attend to anyone at base.

Buddy groaning as the mud clings to her.

A pair of white pedes appeared in front of her.

“Oh… Sorry about that. Here let me help you up.”

The strange white mech helps Buddy up on her pedes.

He wipes some of the mud from her optics.

Meanwhile with Megatron…

He is trying to read a data pad but something wrong tingles across his entire frame.

Back on Dinobot Island…

“Sorry again. My teammates tend to be a bit… rowdy when they come to new places. I’m Jazz by the way.”--Jazz

Buddy blinks taking in the appearance of the white mech.

“Well, no harm done in the end. It’s a bit of mud after all.”--Buddy

“Maybe we should find some sort of water to wash it off.”--Jazz

Buddy catching a glimpse of the Elite Guard badge.

“No! I mean—it’s not necessary right now.”--Buddy

“Why? That’s going to be hard to clean when it hardens.

“Nah, I’ll be fine. Anyways I’m here for the meteor shower.”--Buddy

“There’s going to be shower tonight?”--Jazz

“Ye—”--Buddy

CRASH!

Two bots suddenly crashed down a couple of feet away from the two making them jump.

The two bots got up and started bickering.

The orange bot created a fireball in one servo, while the other swirled the wind in his servos.

What in the name of Cybertron…

When did the Guard start recruiting Outliers?!

And why did they kind of sound like Blizwing’s kids if he had any.

Did he have kids?

That’s a question to ask another day.

“Jetfire! Jetstorm!”--Jazz

Both bots stop and look at Jazz.

“Those your teammates?”--Buddy

“Yeah. Hey, knock it off you two. She fell off a tree thanks to you two ruff housing.”--Jazz

The two quickly put out the wind and fore, stand up straight and stand in front of the two.

“We are very sorry for that!”--Jetstorm

“…It all right. Just a bit muddy, but it’s okay. I’ll clean up later.”--Buddy

“What is your name?”--Jetfire

“Umm…”--Buddy

Bright stars start flying across the sky.

“The shower is starting! Quick! I know a clearing we can go and see them!”--Buddy

Buddy grabs Jazz’s servo leading the others to the clearing.

Meanwhile at the Decepticon base…

Megatron is trying to sleep but something feels very off, and he feels upset for no reason.

The meteor shower had begun.

She instructed them to look up at the sky.

The four of them stared at the streaks that filled the night sky.

It was beautiful.

The twin loved seeing them and attempted to ‘race’ some of them as they streaked the sky.

Jazz and Buddy just sat down watching the twins and the sky.

They talked for a bit and before they knew it dawn was fast approaching.

“Welp, its time for me to start heading out.”--Buddy

“It was nice night. Thanks for letting us in on the shower.”--Jazz

“You’re welcome, Jazz.”--Buddy

The Jettwins landing down giving Buddy a big hug.

“Thank you for showing us this!”--Jetfire

“This was so awesome!”--Jetstorm

Buddy hugging back.

“I do have to ask, why were you guys on Dinobot Isalnd? Grimlock doesn’t like many bots.”--Buddy

“We actually came here to get a colleagues weapon they lost here.”--Jazz

“Really? What is that?”--Buddy

Jetstorm showing the familiar looking shield.

Buddy suppresses a gulp and smiles.

“Well, it was lovely to meet you three, I hope you guys make it back safe. I gotta go.”--Buddy

Buddy fast walks her way into the brush.

“Wait! I didn’t get your name—and she’s gone.”--Jazz

“You think we will see her again brother?”--Jetfire

“I hope so brother!”--Jetstorm

[damianbugs]

Hi!! First I just wanted to say your fics have been an inspo for me to write my own fics and I enjoy them immensely. Second, I’ve been wandering something and I want to ask something about how Jason Todd is portrayed after his death.

I don’t really understand why so many just kind of lie? Or exasperate who Jason Todd is and isn’t. Like the Cass and Bruce scene in front of Jason’s grave, or that scene in Gotham Knights where Alfred tells Bruce “Jason was determined to disobey him.” I know out of universe it just has to do with the mischaracterization of Jason but I’m having a hard time on finding an in universe explanation. Is it out of guilt? Out of misplaced love? It’s confusing me a bit

first of all, thank you!! i'm so glad i could inspire you that is truly the highest complement i could receive <3

secondly, this is a really interesting discussion! you're right about how in a meta way it's the deeply routed classism in jasons writing, as well as many writers (example: grant morrison) just really hating jason for some reason and doing everything they can to make him absolutely insufferable. not even in a cool evil villain way, but in an embarrassment point and laugh kind of way.

for the purpose of this discussion lets (with much difficulty) ignore the writers predispositions and implications and just focus entirely on what this means for the characters. it's good you mention the cass and bruce at jason's grave scene, because i think that example alone is a good way to deconstruct some of character's (for this post: bruce's) perspective of jason's death.

to summarise before dumping a billion paragraphs developing the point; let's not dance around it and accept that much of people's understanding of jason's death falls into the victim blaming variety, but in such way that the characters don't seem to realise that's how they perceive him, which is almost worse than them purposely retelling it in such a way. as well as that, aside from this indenial misunderstanding of jason, i think this shows the sort of flaws the other characters have.

Detective Comics #790

at first glance this seems like a really touching and emotional moment where bruce is sharing his grief with cass (especially when the entirety of #790 is about bruce struggling to do just that), but then you really read it and you're like what the fuck... why are we standing in front of this kids grave slagging him off? not only are we hearing all of bruce's regrets about how he raised jason as opposed to his son's actual death, but we are dragging steph into this too.

to bruce, jason's death is an accumulation of everything he let the boy get away with finally reaching it's tipping point. that jason's ambition to "prove something" lead to his seemingly inevitable demise.

now i do think it's important to note that WE (the readers) know jason died saving sheila. that despite being beaten, betrayed and left for dead, he tried to save someone and paid the price for it. no one else knows that, because the two people that did are dead. as a result, bruce is left with the facts that;

prior to his death, jason was acting uncharacteristically (<- important point) violent and aggressive towards himself, borderline passively suicidal. bruce himself acknowledges this.

that jason ran away from home in search of someone who may or may not be his mother. this is because losing his parents is a hurt jason has still not healed from and a topic bruce has handled badly in the past (example: willis todd). jason does not trust bruce enough to tell him about this.

once they find his mother, jason is instructed to not get involved in the joker related problem. to the extent of bruces knowledge, jason reveals himself as robin, and decides to get involved despite the instruction not to. either because he again, didn't trust bruce to believe he would handle it, or that jason was trying to prove something to bruce, to sheila, or to himself.

sheila dies, jason dies and bruce is the only one alive from the tragedy with only half the story.

All of this can be found in A Death In The Family, but I don't feel comfortable sharing panels of it given where the story takes place right now.

bruce spends the next few years blaming himself at any given point, but the blame is misplaced. bruce feels as though HIS negligence of JASON'S personality and HIS allowance of JASON'S freedom as robin is what allowed JASON to go and die. instead of seeing what he knows to be true about jason (his empathy, his kindness, his grief and loneliness) bruce can now only see how his allowance of all these things played a part in JASON disobeying him (whether maliciously or not) and dying.

in short, bruce is projecting big time onto his dead kid.

bruce is, as per usual, coping with loss by antagonising it. he did the same with babs, with steph and later on with damian. for a character like batman, who upon failing immediately turns these losses into lessons (for himself and all those forced to comply), it's the only way he seems to 'move on'. if he can understand that jason died because of all the things bruce let him do wrong, then he can convince himself that the guilt he feels for it is necessary. that jasons death is on him and that it mattered.

unfortunately, in order to do that, bruce is indenial about what he LITERALLY KNOWS ABOUT JASON! it's not like he was an absent father to jason in the slightest. but hey, if he can vitiate jason's enthusiasm to help people as jason's impulsiveness to fight (two things that can be true but not in accordance to the context he describes them in), then the blame is on jason for being brash, and on bruce for being lenient.

he shoots jason in the foot and himself in the knee to keep them both down. because, well, jason's dead anyway, and bruce unfortunately isn't. this is the closest thing they'll get to sharing the truth bruce knows he's missing and he knows it's his fault for favouring the mission of his son — so at the expense of jason, bruce lets them both be the lesson to learn from.

it is why jason is used as a cautionary tale, and why bruce is so unstable on allowing people (especially children) into his life emotionally. the second robin is a lesson for any young vigilante eager to join the mission, and batman's part in the death is a lesson for bruce wayne to... be even more emotionally untrustworthy? instructions unclear.

the final part of the grave scene is also important, because bruce is admitting that he is not so different to jason. that "for some of us [Bruce and Cass] there is no turning back". he is projecting these flaws about jason not only because that's the only way he can cope with jason's death, but he is projecting these flaws because regardless of what actually happened, he (and cass) are destined to meet the same fate. jason died for a multitude of reason that bruce may or may not have caused knowingly, and these reasons only exist because bruce knows them to be true in himself and anyone else damaged enough to find themselves on his side of the blurry line.

so, now looking a bit less zoomed in, i think it's unfortunate that jason's time as robin is often perversed by the people who should know better (bruce & alfred), and while it is bad writing on jason's character, it is great writing to show the flaws in the characters around him.

especially how it shows that grief is not always something that can become healed. bruce's guilt about his parents death amounts to something hopeful (batman), but his guilt about jason's death makes bruce cruel and childish.

tldr: no one knows the true story, so they compensate from what they do know — but by doing so they project and misinform existing characteristics of jason in order to compartmentalise the gravity of his tragic death. bruce is unable to cope normally and everyone is forced to follow the same fate, because batman's lessons are rarely wrong, even if they cause ten other problems and misunderstandings to understand.

[daydreamgoddess14]

Support System pt. 9

Roy Kent x Reader - domestic fluff and hints of further spice to come 😍

CH1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4 | CH 5 | CH 6 | CH 7 | CH 8

MASTERLIST

~~~~~~~~

You're enjoying the hottest shower you can bear and also not looking forward to going back to your poor water pressure trickle when he taps on the door. 

"Why you knocking?" You laugh over the pounding water. 

"Don't want to catch you doing something you don't want me to know about, " he says with a wink. You turn the shower off and step into the towel he's holding out. "Your phones been going mad, I hope you don't mind but I wanted to check it wasn't Lexie?" 

"Thank you, course I don't." You take the phone and look through the notifications. "Lots from your sister, she's seen the red carpet pictures… shit, the pictures!" You keep scrolling, reaching with your other hand to hold onto his t-shirt. He takes you hand and kisses the palm. "Ah. Here we go." You hold it up to show him. A slew of messages and missed calls from Andy. 

"Fuck. What a knob. Come on, I've made tea. Do you want to read them while I get angry or the other way around?" 

"Ooh we can switch and both get angry."

"Can't do that, you look really hot when you're mad and we haven't got enough time for that."

"Uhh you need talk? Jamie asked me last night if permanent concussion was a thing from all the times you've headbutted him." He holds his hands up, backing out the door. 

"I deny everything." He leaves you to pull on some leggings and one of his Richmond t-shirts (no name on the back). You bounce down the stairs, your heels from the night before discarded at the bottom. Your dress had been left there too but Roy's obviously rescued it and draped it over the back of the sofa. 

"Thank you for saving the dress." You tiptoe to kiss his cheek. 

"It's only down here so I can put it on you again and then take it back off." 

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't think we had time for that this morning?" You tease. You sit up on one of the barstools and he steps between your legs, holding out a piece of toast.

"We don't, but I can look at it and dream." He sneaks a kiss before passing your breakfast and moves to stand behind you. 

"I see what you're doing, feed me, put me in a good mood before I have to read these stupid messages?"

"Is it working?" He kisses your neck. 

"No."

"Yes," a laugh which makes you shiver.

"Fine, yes. OK, what have we got…" You unlock the phone and open Andy’s contact page. "Ready?" He nods into your shoulder.

" Now I see why you said no to getting back together. Starting tame, also he's not wrong. I'll allow it. You look like a slag in that dress. Juicy, god I haven't heard the word slag for years!" Roy growls. " I'm guessing Lexie doesn't know. She will when she wakes up. Hmm. OK. I mean, she likes you so I think we can cope with that situation. I think she'll be OK?"

"She's a fucking great kid, smart as hell. She'll be OK." He assures you. 

"There's more. He must have been pretty drunk by these I think. Bet he can't even fuck you with that dodgy knee. Uhhh, better than anyone. Ever. Ever." You feel his grin against your neck. "Don't get a big head."

"Not my head." He laughs, his beard and warm breath tickling you. 

"Ohhh stop doing that. Moving on. I'm sorry you dint really look like a slut. or slag. Ah, spelling and memory are becoming an issue. Oh god, he's back to sex. No idea why, he has literally zero to brag about. can't believe that wanker gets to fuck you in that dress bitch I wud fuk u better. Wow, that one is a real mess. Its the last one, I'm guessing he passed out after that because that last bit is just wishful thinking on his part."

"Didn't he have Lexie?"

"She went to his mums I think, he was going to the West Ham match."

"Good fucking job, if I find out he's getting wasted while she's with him-" You spin the seat around to face him again,

"You'll do nothing. I'll rip his dick off with my bare hands though." 

"Fuck me, you're hot when you're angry." 

"I should go and get her. I just need to check where from. Are you with Jamie today?"

"Yeah, but I can see him later if you want me to come with you?"

"I'll be OK. How shall we tell her? Do you want to be there?" 

"Your call babe, whatever you think she'd prefer? I'd rather not scare the shit out of her." 

"I'll get her and go back to mine. You could come over when you're done later if you want? If she asks me, I won't lie to her but if she doesn't, then we can tell her together? I'll cook for you for a change." 

"Perfect. Do me a favour?"

"Anything." 

"Wear this when you pick her up." He traces over your heart where it turns out, his name is on the shirt embroidered above the Richmond logo. 

"Baby, I would turn up in a full kit with your name on the back. Knee socks included, and football boots, just to piss him off." He kisses you fiercely, 

"Now you're just talking dirty to me," he mutters. 

"Yep, you love it. Come on, I bet Jamie's dying for gossip and I've got to get going." You text Andy while throwing only the important things in your bag. You're sure you've left a breadcrumb trail of your belongings around the house, but you know Roy won't mind. You head out together, the walk taking you both in the same direction for much of the journey. "Did you need to do anything about the photos?"

"Nah, no point in retracting them now and you look fit so the whole world can see them for all I care."

"Including your mum."

"Including my m-, shit, yeah I'd better call her. And your parents? Are they gonna wonder what the fucks going on?"

"I'll take Lexie round that way on our way home I think. Appease them."

"Nice one. Right, this is the Tartt's palace. See you later. Good luck, don't fucking kill him without me there to watch."

"Hmm I'll try. Don't make Jamie vom, he was trying really hard not to get too drunk last night but I don't think he was very successful."

"Story of his life. Love you." You smile up at him, 

"Love you too." Jamie has the door open before Roy's even hallway through the gate, waving at you. You wave back and carry on up to Andy’s mum's house. She had been largely on your side up to now, annoyed with Andy for breaking up the family and worried that she'd see less of Lexie because of it. You'd reassured her repeatedly, taken Lexie in for tea on the way home from school, picked up bits of shopping for her and gently tried to let her know that nothing had to change between them. You weren't so sure that would be the case this morning. 

 

~~~~~~~~

 

Andy’s car was on the drive so you braced yourself. 

"Darling girl, come in! Tea?"

"Hi Daph, yes please. I've only had time for one this morning." So far, so good. 

"Sore head?" She asked knowingly. 

"Not too bad. I suspect someone else is more hungover than me."

"You're not wrong. Did he give you crap?"

"A bit. How was Lex?"

"Oh golden, we had a lovely night. She's none the wiser by the way." She leads you from your hushed conversation in the hallway to her kitchen where Lexie sat eating breakfast and Andy hovered with a coffee in hand.

"Morning poppet, did you have a good night with Gran?"

"Yeah, we watched the new Matilda film!"

"And she hasn't stopped singing the songs yet!" Lexie grinned at her Gran.

"Show me later. Did you do your homework with Dad?" She nodded through a mouthful of cereal. Andy had yet to acknowledge you so far. "Shall we pop and see Nanny and Pop-pop on the way home?" Her face lights up, Andy grunts from the corner of the room. 

"Something to tell the folks eh?"

"Nothing we haven't already talked about." You quickly come up with the white lie. You don't want him to have the satisfaction that you're on clean up duty today. Lexie finishes her breakfast, puts her bowl in the sink and gives Daph a big hug. 

"Thank you Gran."

"Anytime pickle. Have a lovely week at school."

"And bye to Dad?" You prompt her, finishing your tea. You manage to leave without being cornered by Andy, it's pretty clear that his mum has told him to keep his mouth shut, so the short distance to your parents is a happy one. Your dad is already in the garden checking his plants and you can see your mum in the kitchen window beaming at Lexie. "Morning!" You call out, Lexie runs straight in so you go to your dad first. "Hiya dad." 

"Morning poppet," the same nickname you use for Lexie makes you smile. "Saw the paper."

"Hmm I thought you might have."

"Isn't he an almighty arsehole? I saw him on Sky Sports news, proper miserable bugger." You laugh at your dad's straight to the point question. 

"I still need to talk to Lexie, so I can't really talk about it too much, but he's so lovely dad. He's a grumpy fucker but he loves me, and Lexie too. It's early days, but he makes me very happy." Your dad stays quiet, just a grunt of acknowledgement. 

"I'll see about that. You'll bring him?"

"Soon, let's get the season finished first. It's a busy couple of weeks."

"Any luck on the job front?"

"Not yet."

"I hope you're not planning on just letting him support you? I didn't raise you like that."

"Dad! Course I'm not!" It stings a bit that he'd even ask that. You leave him to his tomato plants and go in to your mum. 

"Morning, love. Good night?"

"Yeah, thank you." Lexie is distracted by the baking your mum has already started, "you're not going to ask if I'm in it for the money as well are you?" Your mum laughs, 

"Don't be daft. Nice t-shirt," she notes. "Does the situation make you happy?" She asks cryptically for Lexie's benefit. 

"Very."

"Well that's enough for me for now. More details to follow though please. And you looked beautiful, my sweetheart."

"Thank you."

"He's very handsome. The only reason I'd put up with your dad watching Sky Sports news, really. Don't tell him I said that."

"I'm not telling either of them. Don't want him leaving me for my hot mum!" You stay long enough for Lexie the bottomless pit to have one of your mums famed apple muffins and pack up a couple to take for Roy, thankful that they can't ask too much with Lexie around. You plan to walk home via the park so text Sara who meets you with Phoebe. 

"How did the parental rounds go? Roy called this morning, said you'd have to deal with Andy's mum as well?"

"The mums are fine, I think. Turns out he's got a good fanbase in older women." 

"Oh that'll be his yoga women theory rumbled then. So confident they have no idea who he is! Like their husbands aren't all glued to weekend football."

"My dad asked if I was a golddigger."

"Ouch, rude!"

"Just making sure I'm not throwing my career away."

"What career?" She sniggers. 

"Oi, cheek!" 

"You looked so great together last night. The pictures were amazing."

"It didn't even cross my mind that they'd get attention like that. I wasn't expecting damage control this morning, or to have to tell those two so soon." You look over at where the girls are playing. 

"Phebs hasn't mentioned it yet, but it won't take long. You haven't got to see the playground parents tomorrow have you? That'll be fun, they love a bit of extracurricular shagging!"

"No, she's at breakfast club thankfully! I'm going to tell her this afternoon." 

"Good idea, gotta do it before anyone else can." You say goodbye with plans to watch the following week's Man City game together with the girls and to catch up in the week at school. 

 

~~~~~~~~

 

You're considering tackling the mountain of washing and more job applications when the front door knocks. Lexie, who's been quiet all morning, jumps up to open it. You can just about see the front door from the kitchen, so the first thing you see is Roy handing Lexie a bunch of pink tulips. 

"For me?" She squeaks, "really?"

"Is that OK?"

"Only mum has ever brought me flowers before! Mum! Roy brought me flowers!" She rushes in to show you, shaking the bunch in her little fist.

"Oh honey, they're beautiful! Shall I help you put them in water?"

"Can you do it? I'm making friendship bracelets."

"'Scuse me?"

"Pleaseee?"

"That's better, yes, I can do that for you." She puts the flowers on the table and runs back to the living room, high fiving Roy on the way past. "Someone is on the charm offensive." 

"Oh big time," he pulled another bunch from behind his back, peonies.

"How did you know?"

"Dunno what you're talking about." He checked the door before kissing you lightly, you cock your head to one side, "alright yeah, Lexie told me last week when you were out shopping with Sar."

"I knew you were a softy really."

"Only for you, don't get destroying my fucking tough man image."

"I wouldn't dream of it. I like that side too. Did you make Jamie vomit?"

"Unfortunately no. Did you kill anyone?"

"Unfortunately no. Bad mornings all round." He hasn't moved from your side yet and keeps looking to the door. "I think you're safe. She's making Richmond coloured bracelets for the match, we're watching with your mum and sister."

"So I've heard, means I'd better tell my mum about you then." At the knowledge that you shouldn't be interrupted for a few moments, he takes the opportunity to crowd you against the counter and really kiss you. You tilt your head to give you both better access and he sweeps his tongue over your bottom lip before biting it. The small gesture sends a wave of pleasure through your body and your hands go to the hem of his t-shirt of their own accord. You slide them just underneath enough to feel the warm skin on his stomach. The lightest scratch of your nails so close to the waistband of his jeans makes him growl into the kiss. "I've got to stop," he groans, pulling away from you. You can't help the desperate, needy moan at the loss of contact, and the look he gives you from that sound alone is enough to leave you trembling. You take a second to get your breath back and go back to sorting out the flowers. "Has she asked?" He questions once it feels safe enough to talk again. 

"Not yet. I'm going to go and talk to her, you're welcome to come with me?" He squeezes your hand reassuringly but makes sure to let it go once you're in the living room. "Hey, Lex? I need to tell you some that you might end up hearing about from someone else, I wanted to be able to tell you first though?" She sits up and starts measuring your wrist for a friendship bracelet.

"Is it about Roy?"

"Uhh yeah, how did you know?" She shrugs,

"He's here. And he brought flowers." You nod, 

"Right, of course. Yeah, it's about Roy. He asked me out to a fancy party last night. You might see some pictures of us-"

"Have you got them, can I see now?"

"Sure, I just need to get my phone." You're about to stand when Roy passes you his phone instead, and you see the lockscreen is one of the pictures from the night before. You hold it out to her, 

"You guys look so cute." Roy grunts at being called 'cute', "It's true!" She says, taking up his wrist to measure him for a bracelet. "So he's like, your boyfriend?" You steal a quick look at him, his eyebrows raise in anticipation of your answer. 

"Yeah. Is that ok?" Lexie shrugs,

"Sure, you're cooler than dad's new girlfriend but they broke up already. And now I get to meet footballers and hang out with Phoebe even more. She said we could be cousins and I told her I didn't have any so she said we should definitely do that. Can we?"

"Let's ummm… cousins is a very big step for you both. You really need to make sure you're ready so just slow down a bit there." Roy is sniggering at the big deal you've made cousins out to be, but Lexie is having none of it. 

"Mum, I think we'd be OK. We're nearly 9. We're not babies. I think you should just be brave and let us do it."

"Thanks for that input bunny, I'll take the cousins thing super seriously, ok?" She accepts your suggestion and thankfully drops the conversation. In the safety of the kitchen, you lean into him and let his arms wrap around you. "That was so scary. Why are 8 year olds so fucking terrifying?!"

"You were the shit, I fucking loved that." He laughs, his chest rumbling against yours. You stand together until Roy's phone rings and disturbs you. "It's Phoebe. Alright love?" He asks her. You can hear the squeal through the phone but can't make out what she's actually saying. You move away from Roy and give him a big thumbs up and a: you got this ! He doesn't look convinced, despite you only just telling him how scary it was. You can only hear his side of the call. "Nan saw the pictures? Yeah it was a fucking great dress. Yeah alright, I owe you. Worth it. No, this doesn't mean you're cousins now. You can be cousins when I tell you so. Cos it'll be up to me! Phoebe, put nan on the phone. Mum? Yeah she's OK. I'll come and see you tomorrow. I will, love you." He hangs up and you wait. "Phoebe is suddenly obsessed with cousins and mum wanted to check you were ok." You smile,

"I think that went well then. All the mums are on board, all the kids, I'm claiming the win." 

 

You cooked dinner, as promised and let Lexie watch a film with Roy afterwards while you packed her school bag and your work things. He left at her bedtime, leaving you with a kiss at the door. 

"Maybe Roy could have a sleepover next time, mum," she said halfway to sleep, "but you can't steal all the covers or he'll get cold."

"Thanks poppet, I'll make sure I don't steal the covers."

~~~~~~~~

[archie-sunshine]

Survey Says-! (18+ Rodimus/EVERYONE)

Chapter 1: Violations, Schmiolations!

Rodimus is NOT bitter about the results of the crew satisfaction survey, in fact, he’s fully prepared to change! He’s determined to change his crew’s minds, and what better way to do so than to get to know them- in the carnal sense that is. 

There are no problems with this plan in Rodimus’s mind. There are many in Ultra Magnus’s. Magnus engages in some unfortunate(for Rodimus) damage control as head of Cybertronian Resources. Rodimus is not easily deterred. 

Read on AO3 here! Chapter 1.5(NON CANON!) here! Chapter 2 here! Chapter 3 here! Chapter 4 here! Chapter 5 here! Chapter 6 here!

____________________________

FIC TAGS: Rodimus/Everyone(But y’know, not like. EVERYONE. Just a lot of various background characters and also more specifically with some others), Takes place post dark cybertron, but pre the whole ship disappearing thing and the mutiny, smut, Chastity, denial, Rodimus is a slut, Ongoing humiliation, HR Violations as comedy, Ultra Magnus is clueless, sticky sexual interfacing, comedy, sexual comedy, dubious consent (if you squint and tilt your head), contains illustrations

____________________________

Authors notes: This is the fic concept i was talking about in THIS tumblr post, if you're curious to see more of my thought process. This is all very deliberately silly, so try not to take things too seriously, nobody's getting hurt here, this is all for giggles

CHAPTER TAGS: Rodimus/Dipstick, briefly mentioned Rodimus/Hound, Trailcutter, Sprocket, and Pointblank, Ultra Magnus is obtuse but not stupid, Chastity, humiliation, Rodimus being Rodimus

“Ohh, yeah, just like that-” Rodimus sighed out, letting his helm roll back as he ran his digits over his spike. Dipstick wasn’t exactly his finest lay, but he did just fine where it counted. 

And anyway, it wasn’t about what Rodimus wanted, this was all part of a noble and courageous cause, of course. 

Rodimus let out a shaky moan as Dipstick mouthed along his chassis. An arc of charge shivered up his spinal strut at the feeling of his spike, heavy and thick, inside his valve. He could feel the bot start to lose rhythm, so Rodimus wrapped his legs a bit tighter around his hips and let out a long, pleased moan in Dipstick’s audial. He smirked to himself as the mech bowed forwards with a loud grunt. He sped up the servo on his spike as he chased his own edge.

The hot splashes of transfluid against his inner walls certainly helped. Rodimus offlined his optics as he stroked himself into a perfectly acceptable overload, enjoying the feeling of Dipstick’s fans gusting hot air across his front. 

He allowed himself a moment of afterglow, which was quickly interrupted by a ping in his processor. Rodimus scanned it quickly. Oh slag. The speedster wriggled his way out from under Dipstick, who sluggishly pulled back after noting the captain’s attempt to escape. 

“Something wrong-?” He began.

“Oh no, nothin at all bud, no worries!” Rodimus said quickly. “I’ve just gotta jet, had so much fun I forgot the time.” He chuckled, swiping at his array with a rag before closing his panels. “Thanks for letting me get to know you better!”

Dipstick nodded slowly, a bit of flush in his cheeks. “Uh- yeah, captain, no worries…” 

Rodimus gave him another winning smile, offering a characteristic thumbs up before trotting out of the door to his hab suite with a spring in his step. 

He was such a genius. 

His ego had taken quite a few dings in recent times, what with his series of captainly ‘whoopsies’, being demoted to ‘co-captain’, having to work with fragging MEGATRON, and of course… the whole list incident. But Rodimus wasn’t stuck in his ways, in fact, he was prepared to help every one of his crew see that he could change. 

By letting them know that he was completely at their disposal. 

Wink.

He knew after his conversation with Ratchet that he wasn’t going to let the whole thing get him down, not over a faked survey list anyway. There was no point in taking his frustration out if he wasn’t learning something from the situation, so it was only logical that he take the time to listen to each and every member of his crew. So what if he didn’t know who wanted him off the ship? That wouldn’t matter as long as he was thorough in setting up his meetings.

The fact that most of his one on ones so far had ended with an overload was a coincidence, and not at all planned. As humble as Rodimus was, he also knew how hard it was for most bots to resist a sleek frame like his. 

He felt a bit of pride bloom in his chassis, and perhaps elsewhere, as he recalled some of the past 15 ‘meetings’. 

Hound was definitely a highlight. Rodimus didn’t exactly have a type, but he did enjoy the bulkiness of his frame against his, and certainly enjoyed that thick spike hitting just the right spot… 

And Trailcutter of course,  much sweeter than he’d thought, a very kind lover, but got a bit weepy when Rodimus had told him he was doing well. 

Sprocket had opted for a quick blowjob, as Rodimus had caught him at a bit of a bad time, but he certainly made his enjoyments clear, nearly getting them caught when someone had passed by the supply closet they had tucked themselves into. 

Pointblank had taken Rodimus’s spike well, enjoying the roughness that he’d treated him to, but making a mess on Rodimus’s office floor when he finished. 

Rodimus whistled jovially as he bounced around the corner and his second in command’s office came into sight. He wasn’t going to be too terribly late for his meeting with Ultra Magnus, either, which was likely a surprise to both of them. Rodimus grinned to himself. Everything was coming up Roddy! 

“Captain.” Ultra Magnus said stiffly as Rodimus stepped into the room. 

“Maaaagggss! To what do I owe the pleasure?” Rodimus plopped down in the seat on the opposite side of his desk, propping his pedes up on the edge of it, kicking Magnus’s nameplate out of place. Ultra Magnus’s optic flickered with irritation as he reached over the desk and knocked Rodimus’s legs off of it. 

“I’d like to have a discussion regarding your current extracurricular escapades.” He said, picking up his datapad with one servo while his other adjusted his nameplate back to equilibrium. 

Rodimus’s faceplate blanched. “Aaahh, what do you mean?” asked the captain innocently. 

“You’ve been interfacing startlingly regularly with several of your subordinates.” Magnus retorted flatly. “Which qualifies as a breach of several ordinances and rules surrounding proper captainly conduct.” He turned his optics from the datapad to lock with Rodimus’. “Which you should be well aware of… as you have surely read through the important manuals and documents I sent you before we began this journey.”

“Pff- Yeah! Of course! You recite the first bit of that code, I'll be able to finish it for sure!” Rodimus lied, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Primus, he should have cleaned his valve out more, he could feel Dipstick’s transfluid rolling around in there. It’d get absorbed by the nanites in there soon enough, but for now, it was an uncomfortable reminder while he wriggled under Ultra Magnus’s glare. 

“Section 45, subheading 8- On the subject of intimate relations amongst superior officers and subordinates.” Ultra Magnus prompted. 

Rodimus shifted again, sitting up straighter and squeezing his legs together. “Uhh, gimme just a skosh more?” 

The larger bot let out a disappointed sigh. “Should a superior officer find himself entangled romantically or sexually with a subordinate crew member, the relationship must be made clear to a ship’s Cybertronian Resources officer, and cleared before a council of the captains and subordinate’s peers to assure there is no power imbalance present. Failure to comply is grounds for demotion on the part of the captain, Rodimus.” Ultra Magnus said gravely. 

“Oh- Well I don’t know what gave you the idea I was doing such a thing, but I’m not, so we don’t have to worry about it-” Rodimus began, adjusting himself again in his chair in preparation to leave. 

“Rodimus, I’m not stupid, I have it on good authority that you are engaging with our crew inappropriately.” Ultra Magnus drawled, clearly growing frustrated with repeating himself.

“Wha- Who told!” Rodimus blurted out, quickly resetting his vocalizer. “W-who lied I mean, we should be sure to meet with whoever is spreading rumours like this-”

“Rodimus I’ve heard you interfacing in two supply closets, seen the transfluid you failed to wipe off your office floor, and watched you walk down the hall to your hab unit leaving a convenient trail of fluids directly from Powerflash’s suite.” -

Rodimus’s intake snapped shut, face flaring a bit with embarrassment. It wasn’t as if Rodimus had any shame about his habits- er, gracious and noble quest for forgiveness- it was just that Ultra Magnus was the last one he wanted to find out about them. “... Yeah…” He muttered defeatedly, slumping back down in his seat. “... So what, am I getting demoted? Is Megatron taking up his rightful place as the true captain? I hope he enjoys sitting in my seat.” Rodimus pouted petulantly. 

Ultra Magnus disregarded his grumbling, reaching for a drawer in his desk. “On the contrary, I am going to give you another chance to reconsider your actions.” He stood, tucking something he had grabbed behind his back, and walking around the desk towards him. “Your actions, while unprofessional and incredibly juvenile, do betray a want to rectify some of your past mistakes, which…” Ultra Magnus’s frown softened a bit, begrudgingly allowing a modicum of admission into his tone. “Is a step in the right direction.”

Rodimus’s vents hitched, his optic ridges raising as he sized up his SIC. “Oh- Mags- was this your way of flirting with me?” Rodimus laughed. “Aw, maggy, you didn’t need to do all this, really, just invite me out for drinks some-” The captain’s flirting was cut off when Ultra Magnus reached a servo down to effortlessly knock Rodimus’s legs apart. 

“I am not flirting, captain.” He said flatly, all softness melted out of his expression. 

Rodimus stared up at him. He could feel his frame starting to heat with quickly tamped down arousal at the way the bigger bot loomed over him. 

“I am going to keep you accountable, and in doing so,” Ultra Magnus brought the device he had picked out of his drawer around to his front, Rodimus had never seen something like it before. It was painted bright yellow with black caution stripes, all extendable bars and geometry like it was supposed to hook onto something. “I will make sure that your behaviour ceases this instant.” 

“Oh Mags- whatever could you me-” Rodimus began to croon, cut off by sudden sensation as Ultra Magnus’s hands lifted up his hips off the chair. “H-Hey-! Listen Mags- I like em forward but this is a little-” 

Rodimus was silenced as Ultra Magnus unceremoniously clamped the device tight around his panels, pressing his thumb hard into a top latch to fasten the locks in place with a low magnetic zap. 

Rodimus looked down, dumbfounded, at his own panels, now securely fastened shut. “Did you… just put a car boot… on my panels?” He said, slowly turning his helm up to look at Ultra Magnus.

The bigger bot nodded proudly, folding his arms over his chassis. “I felt this was the only way to keep you from continuing to breach protocol.” 

“WHAT THE FRAG IS WRONG WITH YOU!!” Rodimus howled, kicking Ultra Magnus’s leg and succeeding only in pushing his chair back a ways. He immediately began to claw at the boot on his panels and was horrified to find it well and truly stuck there. 

“Under chapter 79, section 31-A of the crew relations act, the third subsection suggests possible fixes for inappropriate interfacing behaviour, such as-” 

“AS MAGNETIZING MY ARRAY CLOSED??! You’re sick!!” Rodimus wailed, still ineffectually pushing at the bars and beams fastened to his junk. “This- THIS has to count as cruel and unusual punishment!!” 

“It doesn’t. I’ve checked. And it isn’t permanent either, and yes I did consult Ratchet before proceeding to ensure there would be no adverse effects to your gynecological health.” Ultra Magnus went over his points, walking back around the desk and sitting back down. “I am giving you a decacycle of this punishment, we will check in at the halfway point, and you will have a chance to plead your innocence at that time-”

“A DECACYCLE!!??” Rodimus cried, popping up on his pedes and slamming his servos on the desk. “You- You can’t be serious!! This is humiliating, everyone is going to see-”

“See that you are taking steps towards being less of a sexual pest and more of a professional and honest leader?” Ultra Magnus raised a brow ridge. Rodimus searched in his optics for some sign that he really didn’t believe what he was saying.

“You can’t be that obtuse.” Rodimus growled. THERE! There! Ultra Magnus’s optics flicked away with an uncharacteristic glint. 

“Consider any unpleasant feelings as motivation to reconsider your previous leadership choices, captain.” Ultra Magnus said blithely, going back to scanning his datapads. “You are free to go, sir.” 

“I hate you.” Rodimus spat, indignantly swatting Magnus’s name plate off his desk before spinning on his heel and storming out of his office.

[listerbirdloml]

this was probably from ages ago but some fun asks for you; favorite lister headcannons? [I]

OOH idk man i’m shit at head cannons ALSO THIS WAS SAT IN MY DRAFTS FOR AGES IM SO SORRY I THOUGHT I POSTED IT

- well in my mind i always read him with a northern english accent and i’m not sure why. i know he’s from kent like Rowan + Jimmy but he just gives off northern vibes idk. and after learning that his dads scottish i can also see him using lots of Scottish slang terms.

- i think he’s a slag for a bit of pop too. Britney, Ariana, Taylor, Reneé, you name it. he gets a bit embarrassed though so he turns off his AirBuds when he wants to listen to girly pop music. he has the widest music taste out of the ark, so his Spotify wrapped is always mental. he posts them every year and not once has the same song appeared in his top listened to

- ik he’s not like blonde blonde but i think his natural hair is a lot darker but he’s been dying it blonder since he first met Jimmy and Rowan. when the ark are on hiatus he lets it grow out to his natural colour for a bit.

- he tried to grow a stache one time but Rowan shaved it while he slept. Also he didn’t know how to shave when he first met Jimmy and Rowan, so Pierro taught him. Pierro also taught him how to tie a real tie rather than use a clip on one.

- Joan LOVED lister. she would always fuss over him when he would come over. When he’d come round he would help her in the garden, but really he was terrible and Joan would always have to fix his mistakes. when he told her about how he and his mum would listen to albums together when he was little, she began showing him her collection of old records from when she was a teen/young adult. when she died she left Lister a few of his favourites. Lister keeps them hidden at all times so when he was hosting parties there was no chance they’d get damaged. after they stopped having so many people over Lister kept them displayed in the living room.

- i think that before he and Jimmy got together he had healthy and fun relationship with someone unrelated. it’s not anything ridiculously serious but it helps him see what he should realistically be looking for and what he deserves. it’s not like he’s using the person though, and he actually really likes them. they eventually end things amicably though, and stay good friends.

- it says on the WIKI article alice wrote for him that he has three half siblings. as far as i can think there’s no canon information about them other than that, so i like to HC that they are all from his dads second marriage and they don’t talk much since Lister hasn’t been to visit his dad in years. the ages are;

1.) Lister (19-20)

2.) a sister who’s like 17ish, she’s super embarrassed about the whole ark thing and is reluctant to rebuild a relationship with him again when he reaches out to her post IWBFT, because she remembers how he used to constantly fight with their dad when he’d come over for christmas / two weeks in the summer holidays. when they do start to reconnect and get closer she helps him bond with their dad too. (maybe she’s called Maya?)

3.) a younger brother who’s 13ish and a total TWAT. they look really similar and he’s just like how Lister was in school but he’s hilarious and really admires Lister. somehow he’s stupid smart though, even if he’s class clown. i think he reaches out to Lister when he’s still in the hospital after the incident. i also think it would be funny if the younger brother’s celebrity crush was Jimmy but his image of jimmy is completely shattered when he meets him properly. (i call him Brodie in my head)

4.) his youngest sister who’s like 7 who barely remembers lister but once they get closer she has him wrapped around her little finger. he almost bought her a horse once but Jimmy and Rowan had to remind him that a 7 year old who lives in a city centre can not logistically look after a whole horse. (i think her names Eilidh)

- the ark move from the flat into a house just outside london and he makes sure they all have a room so they can visit whenever they want to.

- after getting to know them better, he gets really close with Angel and Juliet. the three of them and Bliss have “girls” nights in the arks flat. when Listers hair grows they teach him how to pleat it. he gets really good and when he starts seeing his half siblings again he pleats his sisters hair for them)

sorry idk man i yapped a bit 🤷‍♀️

[theonceandfuturequeenoftarts]

Harry hosts Festivus

with a group of shades thanks to the resurrection stone. I have been working on this story for two years at this point, and I would love to finish it and post it for Dec. 23 (or sooner), but that hasn't worked out so far, so here's a couple snippets. Someday I'll complete it.

1.

He’ll head to the Burrow tomorrow evening to sleep over and spend Christmas with the Weasleys, but tonight – tonight is going to be something a little different. He’d heard of this thing from an American muggle program, Sane-fields or something, and now seems the perfect time to give it a whirl. As night falls, his nerves start to mount, and he may be a bit liberal with the spiked eggnog, the mulled wine, the fire whiskey… Point is, Harry’s smashed and maybe not in the best frame of mind to be making decisions. Not that he’ll let that stop him. So, with a tipsy flourish, he withdraws the Resurrection Stone from a pocket and turns it. And keeps turning it, until the room fills with the shades of all the people he wants here for this. “I got a lot of problems with you people,” Harry announces. “And now, you’re gonna hear about it.”

2. (But he's definitely not Voldemort...)

"Wait, what?" Harry says, flummoxed. "Why are you here?" The man gazes back evenly. "When the master calls, I cannot help but answer." "Shite, sorry about that." Harry winces.  "My schedule's hardly packed these days," he says dryly. "Though I wonder what you were thinking to draw this motley crew to you." "Well, I thought I was thinking of family," Harry says, dragging a hand through his hair and wobbling when he almost pulls himself off-balance. "..."  The assembled spirits look around at each other dubiously. The man's stare takes on an eerie intensity. Dumbledore's eyes begin to twinkle with tears. Harry only notices it’s gotten quieter. "...Conduct your little ritual," the man says, breaking eye contact to stare off into the fireplace. "Right then, let's get this show on the road!" Harry calls, walking back over to flop into his chair. With pride audible in his voice, Dumbledore says, “Harry, my boy, I’m so–”  And that’s as far as he gets. “Nope,” Harry says abruptly. “Nuh-uh, not a chance – not a peep out of you. This is my airing of grievances, which means you all have to listen to me. Especially you,” he adds, pointing a bit unsteadily at a mildly incensed Dumbledore. “Wh–” Dumbledore tries to speak again, only to quiet himself at Harry’s stern look. (Possibly aided by Sirius cracking his knuckles menacingly, though it’s hard to gauge how useful a beatdown would be against a ghost.) Frowning, Dumbledore gestures demonstratively at the man by the wall. “Him? He got to talk because I asked him a question.”

3.

Harry stares off into space for a moment before turning to Sirius and Remus. “Oi, Padfoot, Moony – level with me. Were you two ever, y’know, together?” Remus goes to answer but is stopped short when Sirius drapes a long arm around his shoulders and leans into him. “I’d love to satisfy your curiosity, Prongslet, but as the saying goes: what happens in animagus form, stays in animagus form,” he announces with a roguish wink.  It’s certainly something to watch mortified resignation take over Remus’ face by degrees before he simply buries it in his hands. Lily reaches over and pats him on the shoulder in long-suffering sympathy. Harry wishes he could offer the man a stiff drink. Around his horrified laughter, James chokes out, “That’s not a saying, Padfoot, you bloody slag!” “Well it should be! Like you wouldn’t’ve been up for a little adventure if Lils had been a doe,” Sirius says, elbowing a suddenly blushing, dazed-looking James in the ribs. “Yes, we were together!” Remus cuts in before Sirius can say anything else inflammatory. Alas, Harry thinks, not quickly enough. “And no, I don’t know what I was thinking.” “I reckon you were thinking I’ve got a great–” “–personality!” Remus interrupts loudly. Snape and Lily both turn to give Remus sceptical looks. Sirius looks gleeful. “Really, Moon? That’s what you’re going with?” James mutters. Remus throws his hands up in defeat. "Absolutely, my personality," Sirius says cheerfully. "Gotten a lot of compliments on my huge, throbbing personality over the years." "If you weren't already dead, I would smother you with a throw pillow." Remus sounds sincere.

[trudemaethien]

Glitch/Corr and hear <3

This got a bit graphic and gory😅, so…

HC: Corr sustained some hearing damage from the same event that took his arms, I don’t explicitly mention it here, but

The Force resonates with awe-inspiring vastness, full of sound and wonder, and most of the time Glitch loves to listen to it.

Sometimes it’s like that pesky brother who’s trying to get your attention to discuss his hairbrained theories and antics, for the fourty-third time, after curfew.

Glitch has a headache.

Before he knew what it was he was hearing, he got headaches a lot. He’s used to it. It doesn’t mean he likes it any better now than then.

He’s following, shut UP already!

A hand lands in the middle of his chest, halting him. “No civilians past the cordon,” a clone’s vocoder-leveled but still appreciably bored voice orders.

“I’m not, and I need to go there,” Glitch says, leaning into his words and the restraining hand. “You can let me in, I’m cleared.”

“You can go in…after you suit up. Since you’re cleared.”

The clone gestures to a heavy blast-suit, bulky and cumbersome. Glitch can’t function in that. He shifts his weight in preparation to move.

“He’s not cleared, Jack, what’s wrong with you?” another clone snaps, approaching. “Help me get this on; and you, scram.”

“Yes, Corporal,” Jack says, chastened. Sorry, he mouths at Glitch as the corporal straps on the extra armor.

The urgency is higher now, the Force like a klaxon in his head. Maybe there’s a klaxon out loud too, Glitch realizes, as the corporal hurries up, glancing toward the cordoned-off area.

“Corporal,” Glitch tries, “I need to—”

“To get the kriff out of my AoE and quit distracting me and my team,” the corporal says sharply. “We’re on the clock.”

Jack snaps the last clasp into place and taps twice next to the reinforced face shield like he’s patting the guy’s cheek. “Good to go!” he signs with his other hand in front of his face.

And go he does. Glitch can only watch as the demolitions corporal tramps across the ground to the device, not gracefully in that get-up, but with the ease of familiarity. Jack, he realizes, has a timer he’s gleefully counting off out loud.

“Corr’s a machine; fucker beat my time! I’m going to do him one better nex—”

.

…

So that’s what a bomb sounds like, is Glitch’s first dazed thought.

HOT, is his next. Something is crackling in his ears, and he looks around for Jack, for any of the others, and finds the world on fire with no one in sight. That adds up, he thinks nonsensically, and then looks at himself.

Shrapnel and slag are scattered all around him but not on or through his body, like the discolored dry shadow behind a retaining bulkhead hit by a wave. He—the Force—probably did that. He didn’t know he could do that.

Where’s Jack. The Force had probably wanted him to prevent this. The klaxon is still shrieking, or no—that’s too irregular.

Glitch follows the sound. The Corporal is struggling in his heavy suit of armor, trying to escape the burning crater. He can’t climb out for some reason, even though it’s only thigh-deep. Glitch grabs at him and then thinks better of touching the hot surface. He grabs him with the Force instead, and yanks him up and out.

He doesn’t see anyone else as he drags the Corporal to safety. Past the blast radius, he peels away the suit, slicing it with Rennax’s saber when it hardens too much.

He pulls the man free with difficulty. He’s slick with sweat and tears and blood, and not all of him comes free. Glitch almost hurls when he realizes the flexible gloves that allowed dexterity physically couldn’t shield as well as the rest of the get-up, and the meat of his arms up to the elbow is shredded off the equally shattered bones.

Tourniquets from his belt, not thinking about it, just applying them, then he hoists the trooper up, the whole time yelling, “Medic!”

The sole survivor of the blast clings to him with the stumps of his ruined arms and shakes with uncontrollable sobs. Relief and grief entwine with one another. “You. You got me. You heard me, you came,” he slurs. Accusation and gratitude are also inextricably bound in his tone.

Glitch wishes he could have done better, listened more carefully to the Force, actually prevented this from happening at all, but all he says is, “Yeah, I got you.” His own voice is hoarse and thick.

Neither of them let go until a medic takes the injured trooper to evac. Glitch watches him get loaded up, then regretfully turns away to follow the call of the Force once again.

Reverberating 🔒 https://archiveofourown.org/works/51595036

[phantom-of-the-501st]

Saw something on Twitter that reminded me of my feelings about things, so here are some ways that the Batch treat Echo in S1 that actually just make me angry.

(Sorry if I sound like a hater. I actually really enjoy some of these scenes but if I think about them too much I start fuming. 😤)

1. "You're more machine than man. Percentage-wise, at least."

Tech, mate, I love you but, uh, WTF? I know subtlety isn't really Tech's thing, and he isn't necessarily wrong, but Echo clearly still has self-esteem issues over the fact that he's part droid. Maybe just be a little more careful with what you say here???

2. Hunter selling Echo.

Now don't get me wrong, I love this scene, I think it's hilarious. But the poor guy (as said above) is still trying to get used to his new body and you sell him as a droid?! Echo has severe trauma from literally being sold as a tool and used as a machine and you're going to SELL HIM AS A DROID?!

3. When Echo is clearly not okay with helping a separatist and none of them seem to care about this.

"I can't believe we're helping a separatist senator." "So you have said... repeatedly."

"The client being a separatist is not important." "It is to me!"

Can you not just show a little bit of compassion here, guys??? I know you all fought the separatists but maybe we shouldn't be dismissing the feelings of the guy who was sold by them to a group of people who used him as an experiment?! Not to mention that the separatists also funded that torture by paying for the intel?! ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS ASK HIM IF HE WAS OKAY!

4. Any time they complain about or slag off regs when Echo is there.

This one doesn't happen quite as often as I always feel it does, but the few moments it does happen I just die a little bit inside. It's random offhand comments like this that can actually cause a lot of insecurities.

So yeah. Little bit of a rant here. I do enjoy some of these moments because I know that they are supposed to be lighthearted jokes. But there were multiple points during S1 where I was genuinely wondering why Echo still puts up with some of their bullshit. He doesn't always get treated the best. 🙁

Edit: I just wanna add that I think a lot of this is a result of ignorance rather than maliciousness. I don't think there is any intent here to hurt him but I do just wanna knock them all upside the back of the head sometimes.

[mylove4oldmen]

“𝙈𝘼𝙍𝙍𝙄𝙀𝘿 𝙒𝙄𝙏𝙃 𝘾𝙃𝙄𝙇𝘿𝙍𝙀𝙉”

fem reader x noel gallagher

•genre-fluff

•warnings- a few curse words

*requested by Lasheshavetobeblack on wattpad

summary: y/n is really annoyed at Noel's guitar playing and this is how married with children comes up

_________________________________________

THE CLOCK right beside y/n's bed marks 3:00 and she certainly should be asleep by now

why is she awake? you must be questioning yourself

Noel's guitar playing is a non stop situation in her house

he literally plays it in every opportunity possible but the only actual free time he has is at night and tonight couldn't be different

Y/n reaches for his shoulder and taps it gently as to not disturb her boyfriend too much

"Noel can you please stop playing? i need to sleep...some of us have to wake up early to work you know?" she whines fixing her hair with her left hand and getting closer to the boy who’s on the corner of the bed

"yea yea I'm almost finishing this song...lemme play it for you" looking straight to her eyes he starts strumming a nice rhythm:

*There's no need for you to say you're sorry

Goodbye, I'm going home

I don't care no more so don't you worry

Goodbye, I'm going home

I hate the way that even though you know you're wrong

You say you're right

I hate the books you read and all your friends

Your music's shite it keeps me up all night

There's no need for you to say you're sorry

Goodbye, I'm going home

I don't care no more so don't you worry

Goodbye, I'm going home

I hate the way that you are so sarcastic

And you're not very bright

You think that everything you've done's fantastic

Your music's shite it keeps me up all night*

"I know the chorus is a bit repetitive but I really can't come up with a different one" the man explains as his gaze shifts to his calloused fingers

"I can see that I am the inspiration for this song...and you're right you're music is shite" her joke lights up the mood and both of them laugh while a comfortable silence with no guitar playing becomes present

"my music is not shite c'mon"Noel answers and this time he is the one slagging your shoulder "you like Radiohead for fuck sake"

"there's nothing wrong with Radiohead"she answers with anger filling her voice "sometimes is nice to listen to sad songs...AND SONGS WITH MEANING"

"Don't go around dissing my music"he snaps "they do have meaning...but who needs to discover it is the listener,not me"

"I got you,mister rock n roll star" y/n says making a quotation marks movement with her hand

"I'm glad you know what I am" he states really proud of himself "now let's go to bed sleepy head,you're almost sleeping while I'm talking to you"

"I am exhausted don't blame me" tiredness fills the girls voice as she pulls the blanket over her delicate body "now come here,you're the big spoon today"

she pats the bed place right on her side the boy immediately puts his guitar away and lays down embracing her

"what are you going to call the song?" she asks closing her eyes

"married with children"he answers as if it was nothing

"why's that?" she asks happily

"we are going to be married with children one day...and you will thank me for writing these songs and annoying you cause they will be the reason you won't work" now he is the one closing his eyes

"oh yeah I won't be working in the future?"

he nods "good good,I deserve it after listening to this really bad songs"

"don't even start y/n"

"I won't...now let's sleep" her body is fully relaxed but interrupting the silence she confesses once again "I love you babe"

"I love you too" and she knows he means it

[the-real-rain-world-confessions]

what if i want to see nasty iterator bullshit because they have nasty creators that would've likely let this happen so they could ascend and make them solve their stupid fucking problem that made them all miserable and fucked up to begin with when created. not even in terms of relationships or anything.

their existence is fucked up and they should be allowed to do fucked up stuff. pebbles literally nearly killed moon if it wasn't for significant giving slag keys. maybe pebbles would come to moon even including giving up his core. you can see his observers start to wander further in game after the core is taken. suns fucked up with pebbles when they did their best to help and advise. same with sliver who is dead and tried to help bring others with her to end their suffering. to them at this point with everything they knew so rotted away and pointless to keep up when a new ecosystem is taking hold in the abandoned world. they have no reason to hold ties to old relationships and bonds that won't matter in the new world that's to come.

besides, maybe being a bit fucked up with media is good for refreshing yourself on what's good and bad. perhaps even allowing you to healthily go through motions of trauma you've had that could be compared to the iterators and reaffirm you made the right choice to get help. who fucking cares as long as the media isn't condoning it and labeling it as "normal and healthy". not everyone heals by always consuming media that's aligned with their struggles and reality. sometimes they heal by ripping that bandage off and cleaning it the fuck up by looking at it to see how to clean it. (metaphorically speaking.) you let that wound fester and it becomes rot like pebbles with his attempts.

he didnt come clean with others. he should have listened. but they all still cared about him anyway and that's a love that transcends labels. its unconditional. regardless of what they did to each other. regardless of what they all suffered. they had each other. even if they could not show it in the healthiest of ways. even when so far apart. at least moon and pebbles were so close. pebbles even chose to die the most painful ways as an iterator to right his wrongs. isnt his twisted rage and care so admirable? that he tried to break the cycle for them all, fucked up, and did the most he could to fix it when it all came to do or die? he gave up everything to at least say he is sorry in the way he could. moon should have been furious and she was but she didnt lash out. she understood completely despite not knowing how to tell him. same with suns. same with significant. and i bet that goes for sliver too. they all love each other unconditionally in some manner. even if their ruined and decayed lives slowly being swallowed up for the new civilizations...

media that doesnt touch on dark or potentially taboo topics just don't hit the same. if you want to have reality really hit you in the face and realise you've made the right choices to become better than before no matter what, then dark stories will do that for you. no matter how cute. no matter how stylized. your heart and mind changes in that moment, even if by a little.

keep media literacy alive in rain world <3 (and thank you mods)

.

[causticsunshine]

anne sharing her stance as neutral on the genocide through multiple of her instagram stories certainly doesn't help my opinion about this whole staying quiet thing. very disappointed but not surprised.

i literally saw this one this morning (screengrab via @/spacecowboysue on twitter):

(edit: i’m about to get properly irate here but my anger isn’t just aimed at her, it’s at everyone taking similar pages out of her book by claiming neutrality and calling for ‘peace’ and essentially playing I Pretend I Do Not See in this situation; there is no reason or excuse for anyone who claims to want ‘peace’ here to be playing the so-called neutral card anymore.)

like okay, what the fuck is a STATUE going to do? and reconcile what—nearly a century of systematic occupation and genocide pushed and backed by numerous western countries, including her own? yeah, i’m sure a fucking statue is going to just, y’know, poof all the palestinians’ past and active trauma away, rebuild all the rubbled homes and cultural centers and other buildings, regrow the natural flora and heal the traumatized and dying animals and bring back the desecrated olive orchards, rain down clean water and fresh food from the sky… oh and bring back all their martyred dead!

and on top of the fucking insult that it is to still be standing for ‘neutrality’ and just wanting ‘peace’ between an oppressive nation state committing apartheid and the peoples of an actual country continually being terrorized for existing in their own homeland, calling it the ‘palestine israel conflict’? no one has ANY valid excuse anymore to belittle a continual siege as a ‘conflict’, like it’s a fucking playground spat.

and perhaps besides the point a bit, but on top of all that—anne will let the public call her son a slag (since he was a CHILD), a cheater, a womanizer, a queerbaiter AND a zionist, but the second anyone’s come for his bald head? oh, now that’s just too much now!

so today alone, she can make a post and a story calling out people making fun of or talking about her nearly 30 year old child shaving his head, but the best she can do in terms of addressing ongoing genocide that over 290 british MPs voted no on a ceasefire towards, is making a story post implicating her further neutrality and whittling the situation down to being ‘fixed’ with that ugly ass fucking statue?

and for anyone who wants to jump down my throat or go after anyone else talking about this with claims of ‘well you don’t know what she’s doing or saying in private’ or getting mad we upset harry’s mummy—i think sharing this shit publicly tells you whereabouts she’s at on things! she posted 3 separate stories about some fucking boots she recently purchased or was given through sponsorship (tbh i wasn’t arsed to check the detail, all i saw was the same pic like 3 times on her available IG story) and a few others about some ted talk she attended and meeting the speaker there, then one about harry’s hair, and then made an actual POST about his hair and tagged it with TPWK….

she HAS a platform. she has over 2.8 million instagram followers alone. and this is what she chooses to prioritize, to push. there really is no excuse anymore, especially when you’re from one of the countries continually backing israel and voting no on intervening with their despicable terror! there are resources EVERYWHERE including constant updates on gaza, debunkings on the lies western and israeli propaganda are spreading, insights into the entirety of the apartheid, information on palestinian culture and values, on the true history of israel, holy books… what excuse is there to really be had at this point besides blatantly prioritizing your own comfort over the lives of thousands of occupied and terrorized and murdered people?