#but i'm glad we can view archives

[miikaji]

omg i started writing a quick post before bed and then it started becoming less and less quick so i’m just gonna draft it for now and post it later lol. its honestly a post for myself so i can’t wait to get it all cute and together uwu

[dronebiscuitbat]

This chapter has smut in it. Although drones don't have junk, they can "make love." In their own special way.

I don't view this as explicit, since how drones make that connection is much different then how people do. That being said, if you aren't into that. Here's the Tl;DR:

N comes home worried, N and Uzi console each other, before N gets the wise idea that perhaps they won't ever have the chance to do this again with everything going on.

Loving, Passionate Robotic Lovemaking Ensues.

Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 47)

N was home in record time, and when he opened the door he was immediately pulled down into a tight embrace, Uzi's tail was free, curling around him as if he was the last bastion of safety on the planet, her fingers gripped the back of his coat.

Nothing was said, not yet. He closed the door behind him with his tail and used the door itself as something to lean against as he lifted her up into his arms, burying his face into the crook of her neck.

“I'm so glad you're okay.” N broke the silence first, mumbling the words into her shoulder, he focused on the sound of her core-beat, it fluttered with anxiety but still thrummed like a war-drum, she was safe…

“I was more worried about you… I thought she was right on top of you or something.” She admitted, pulling back to look at him only to press their visors together with a light clink.

“N-no, I'm okay honey.” He purred back, his eyes still closed. The girl in his arms made a squeak and quickly looked away, the sudden term of endearment catching her off guard, especially since he sounded so genuine.

His brain seemed to catch up a moment later, and he went a shade of gold, clearing his throat.

“I-I… sorry, I was just worried… a-and it sounded right.”

“It's… okay.”

There was a pause, a lull of silence between them as N slowly put her down, before he started speaking again.

“Did you warn V?”

“She immediately went hunting through the vents, she wants payback.” Uzi replied, gesturing up to reference the vents above them.

“She find anything?” He asked again, still feeling jittery from his worry.

“She's been sending updates. It's been all clear so far.” She reassured, holding his arm in an attempt to calm him down as they both continued to stand at the doorway.

“Good…”

His gaze flickered to the couch where Tera was laying on her stomach, asleep, peaceful. A small black blanket loosely over her as she had her thumb in her mouth, drooling on it. He smiled, though it was wrought with worry.

Uzi followed his gaze, only to turn his face towards her with her hand, even if she had to balance on the tips of her feet to do it.

“We’re okay.” She said softly, and his core ached to belive her.

“Uzi… Doll’s been here this whole time… she could have had the jump on us at anytime…” He voiced his worries and his stress, both pouring out of his mouth before he thought much about it.

“But she didn’t. I don’t know why she’s still here… she has my bug already, there’s no reason for her to stay here.”

“Maybe she already found whatever she needed?” He suggested, but that begged the question of what exactly she was looking for.

“I don’t know… maybe we should have followed her… V did suggest-“ N interrupted her, not allowing her to blame herself.

“None of us were in the condition to do anything after you hacked into us. You were asleep for two whole days after that, I wasn’t going to leave you without knowing you were awake.”

“And you wouldn’t let V go alone either?”

“No, I wouldn’t.”

Another pause, this one more urgent, building like a bubble about to pop. Although his worry was slowly being ebbed away just by being beside her, a tension still grew between them.

“She really could’ve snuck up on us at anytime… why didn’t she?” Uzi repeated slowly, seemingly to let N's stress be absorbed into her, he didn't want that, so he immediately went to try and comfort her.

“Maybe there’s… something preventing her? Or she changed her mind about killing us?”

“Maybe…” Uzi’s voice trailed off into nothing, clearly troubled by the situation. Though there was very little they could actually do unless the Russian girl decided to suddenly appear before them. N cupped her cheek, before swooping down and placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

She blushed, and it grew when N took her hand into his and led them further into their apartment, and headed towards the bedroom.

N was scared, nervous and worried. His discovery had upset the air of domesticity they were starting to find. And it had made his thoughts drift to the things he really wanted, and the things he never got to experience. How much time did he truly have? Did Uzi really have? With the eldritch monsters, biological instincts, and now the threat of Doll looming over their heads. He didn’t know how much time they had left, but he did know he wanted to make the most of every second.

“N…?” Her voice was soft and curious, more so when N turned to her and placed his hands on her hips. A blush found it’s way to his face and stayed there, he caressed her hip with his thumb and he found himself unable to look at her.

“Uzi… I uh.” His core was suddenly beating out of his chest, was this a good idea? Yeah it had sounded good about a minute ago in his head, but now acting on it was nerve-wracking, would she even want something like this? His timing wasn’t exactly great…

“I want to… try…” His voice and any remaining confidence faded, self doubt creeping up in the gaps between his thoughts. This was a bad idea. No, the worst idea, they’d only been together for six months, he wasn’t sure if she was ready, if he was ready, what if it hurt? What if J had completely ruined him and he hurt her? Hell, he didn’t know what he was doing! Oh no, he messed up!

“Try…?” Uzi leaned up into him, a small smile on her face. Was he suggesting what she thought he was? She always thought that when the time came it would be her initiating, with his past trauma and need to be polite, always. She figured she’d have to slowly work up to it. But maybe this situation had spooked him, freaked him out enough to where he thought he wouldn’t get another chance.

“I-I Nevermind. It was stupid… we should be on high alert not… uh uhm mmm..”

His words trailed off when Uzi’s hand trailed a path up his side, something so featherlight even through his coat that it sent a shiver up his spine and his processors to short circuit. His tail made wide arches behind him, showing his near instant enjoyment.

“It’s not stupid. And V’s already on a warpath… we can. Only if you’re okay with it.” Uzi reassured, honestly, her mind was somewhere similar, if shit was about to hit the fan, she wanted to be sure she’d have no regrets when it did, and nothing should be left unsaid… or undone.

“I…don't really know what I'm doing… sorry I led you in here all confident and now I-I'm caving.”

“If it makes you feel better, I'm actually impressed you managed to ask me at all, thought I'd have to our first time.”

“O-oh… you've done this before?”

Uzi suddenly blushed, taken over by a similar embarrassment as the one currently staining her boyfriends face.

“I didn’t say that…”

The air was thick with tension, neither really sure where to go from here, N was almost too nervous to even breathe, let alone move. And Uzi was trying to decide if N was ever going to make a move.

After another moment, she realized he wasn't.

“You want me to lead?” She asked gently, cocking her head and leaning up into him to try and move closer to his visor, he gulped, more sweat and a far heavier blush displayed on his visor.

“Mmhm.” He nodded, being the only thing he could force his body to do, she laughed lightly, and even though she had a smirk she still looked incredibly embarrassed.

“Lay down then.”

Given a command, he found it easier to make his body move to obey it, he crawled onto the bed nervously hat and all, before laying face up, looking at the ceiling with the world's most nervous smile.

Ohrobogodohrobogodohrobogod

When Uzi climbed on top of him, shed already stripped, and she straddled his waist, he gulped nervously, memories of J looming over him, a taser, or claws, or both swam in the back of his head, though he tried not to let that show.

“Relax, okay?” Her hand came to brush some hair out of his face before removing his hat, placing it on the nightstand, one of her hands came to grip his collar.

“O-okay”

She lent down to kiss him, holding the side of his face as she started chaste, and gently caressed the side of his face until he really began to relax.

His hands found her hips again, pulling her deeper into him, and it was only then that she deepened the kiss, nipping at his lip to ask for access. Which he gave almost immediately, giving her free reign to explore his mouth.

While his hand racked up the smooth silicone of her back, her hand was busy trying to unbutton his coat blind, which seemed to be a little difficult with only one hand, since it was uncharacteristically clumsy, although he figured she was just as nervous.

Still soon enough his coat was completely undone and she was pulling it open, leaving the only thing keeping it on being his arms.

She pulled back, leaving them both panting and breathless, both their visors still stained with blush, Uzi looked him up and down, admiring his figure and causing him to fluster.

“I-I'm not t-that interesting.”

“You're gorgeous, actually.” She replied, sincerity dripping off her lips, he squirmed as those words him, feeling the embarrassment crawl up his spine.

“Shouldn't I be saying that to y-you?” He gave a goofy grin, that made his girlfriend laugh a press another kiss onto his visor screen, a spark of electricity passed between the area of contact.

Then she ducked into the crook of his neck to place more kisses there, and unlike his playful ones that morning, these were playful in a much different way, they were long, trailing kisses that made each contact feel like it burned the metal there, the hand on her her hip gripped a little tighter, making a small, almost inaudible whine escape from the girl on top of him.

That's when his hands started to wander, both running up her back until they began to slip down her front, he still had no idea what he was doing, but instinct seemed to guide his hands to ghost up the rubber residing in her middle, and she shivered in response.

Her kisses turned to nibbles before she was beginning to scrape her fangs lightly across his neck, gasps bubbled out of his throat as the input registered in his systems, he squirmed again, the feeling new to him before he felt one of her hands firmly push him down so that he'd stay still.

“U-uzi…” The word came out in a shudder as her other hand snaked up his front, from his hip all the way up to his chest, right underneath his core, he continued to explore the rest of her body, running over bumps and nicks and committing them to memory until he found himself touching up her back again.

His fingers roamed over the gnarled scars on her back, causing her to suddenly jerk her body forward in surprise as a muffled pleasured groan left her mouth, the reaction seemed to surprise both of them, as she quickly sat up, locking eyes with him with a renewed blush.

“Did- did that hurt?” He asked, even though he knew the answer he wanted to be sure, she shook her head, seemingly rendered speechless by her sudden outburst.

Then he felt his entire chest begin to buzz with energy, he looked down to find Uzi's finger gently rubbing a circle into the glass casing of his core. It was light, almost too light for him to feel anything. But what he did feel was like a low rush of energy, and it was quickly spreading to his head to make it fuzzy too.

“Is this okay?” She asked, her confidence seeming evaporated after having a outburst like that. He nodded, finding it hard to locate a thought that wasn't just praise.

“Y-yeah. It's… Oh-Okay.”

In response, she pressed a little harder, he felt his body seize in response, he bit his lip to stifle the noise that threatened to escape this throat.

Was this… was this what it was supposed to feel like? It wasn't painful, but it was almost overwhelming, he was struggling to breathe correctly and his processors began to misfire.

“Y-you can touch me t-too.” She guided one of his hands, which had fallen off her back to grip the sheets under him, to her chest, right underneath her core, he was trembling at this point, but always eager to please he tentatively pressed a finger into it.

“Ah!~ Aha! Woah- n-ot that hard~” He immediately let up on the pressure, scared he'd hurt her, before looking up at her face and finding she was somewhere between completely blissed out and excited beyond measure.

“S-sorry.” He did his best to rub circles into her core with the same amount of pressure she was doing to him. Until she picked up the pace and caused him to throw his head back into the pillow with a moan.

“Nhg… Uzi…” Electricity felt as if it was sparking around every inch of his body, clogging his mechanics and making him want for more, both his eyes were enlarged golden hearts, his blush encompassing most of his face. Thinking? What was that?

He increased his pressure and pace as well, making the girl above him buckle and bite her lip roughly, only one of her eyes were hearts, but the way she was panting and shuddering left no doubt in his mind that she was feeling much of the same way.

A single long press of her hand on his core, with far more pressure then before made him nearly buck her off, a loud groan being forced out as a small compartment opened up right above his core, spitting out a small cable that Uzi immediately grabbed and pulled on, making him almost choke on how sensitive it was.

“Wh-what?” His voice was glitched from the pleasure, and he didn't even finish his sentence before Uzis mouth crashed upon his, and like a good boy, he shut up and kissed her, adding a second finger to her core as she whimpered and whined into his mouth.

Soon after, Uzi's own compartment opened up, instead of a cable though, it was a simple USB port, N felt her shudder before pulling off his mouth and moaning lightly under her breath, panting as she still had his cord in her hand.

“F-fuck.” She cursed, although it was clearly meant more positively then just cursing at him for doing something wrong, his vents took in as much sir as he could, his temperature being far higher then normal. He'd probably need oil after this…

“Why did-” He was interrupted by a shudder and a pant as some delayed input was processed through. “You s-stop?”

She took a second to respond, still recovering before she looked at him, putting the cord in his hand instead.

“You're…” An aftershock went through her and she closed her eyes, riding it out before she tried speaking again. “You're supposed to plug this into me.”

He looked at the thin cable in his hands, then back up at her, before he immediately started to lean up to insert it into her port, before she hurriedly stopped him.

“We… uh. D-don’t have to go that far. That's how… fuck. Probably how Tera was made.”

He blinked, brain finally catching up to what exactly she was saying. And as much as he consciously knew it was a bad idea, he really didn't want this to end yet.

“My firewalls are up… it's probably safe… but. I don't know how different your code is from mine…” She was slowly winding down, and now she was making shapes on his stomach, nervously.

“Do- Do you want to keep going?” He asked, still feeling fuzzy and jittery, his core felt as if it was throbbing, begging him for this to continue.

She paused, her blush growing quickly.

“K-kinda.”

Well, that sealed the deal for him, he sat up, using the headboard as support as he gingerly plugged himself in.

Instantly he gasped as he felt his very code meld with hers, crashing against each other as both systems had to adjust to an entirely new state of being, he was both looking at her and looking at himself through her, it was both terrifying and exciting in every way possible.

He reached up to touch her face, both the sensation of touching and being touched coursed through their connected systems.

Even their emotions seemed to mix, causing a confusing tornado of fear, excitement, and love to swirl in colors of purple and gold.

Then… with a shift, Uzi began to write in the gaps of his code.

I love you, I love you, I'm yours, you're mine, I love you.

Whatever pleasure he felt before was nothing compared to now, he immediately buckled under their combined weight and collapsed onto the bed, he could barely take in a breath let alone make a sound.

“Breathe baby…” Uzi panted out, making him both smile and blush and try to reach out into her code in return, it was easier then he expected, like swimming through a warm ocean. Though she didn't need to speak, that thought had been shared through their connection already.

He wrote his own sweet nothings into her code. He wasn't as graceful, sometimes he would accidentally overwrite something, which caused Uzi to whimper above him before it quickly fixed itself.

You're perfect, I love you, beautiful, my love, my darling.

Waves of pleasure coursed through them both, resonating with each line of code written, it almost became N's goal to fill up as much of her empty space with his own admiration, he loved her so much, she loved him so much…

Right now, there was very little to differentiate who's thought was who's, they were one being, not two.

At least until Uzi blue screened. A loud, shuddering moan broke through the relative silence and she collapsed on top of him, he was right after, the feeling of her climax having only a fraction of a second delay before it hit his system too.

and it all went black.

Next ->

[dsmpanalysis]

DSMP Analysis Archive: Reopened!

Flowery words aside, hello and welcome back! This is Ame @appleflavoredkitkats, one of the creators of this blog. In truth, I've been thinking about reopening the for a while, especially since the Dream SMP is officially over. One of the main issues we had when the archive was still open was that keeping up with all posts was virtually exhausting. Now that we don't have the stress of reading thousands of words a day while accommodating other things in our lives, we think we can have a smaller and calmer approach to updating this blog.

The team behind this blog will be much smaller now— think of it as a small side passion project of the original creators of the blog rather than something we want to bring back in full force. We'll do the same things as always, trying our best keeping up with all the posts we've missed since we've closed, but take note that we will be taking our time with this.

(Just a reminder for admins of this blog that do not want to be involved anymore, you are allowed to leave this blog by opening Tumblr on desktop, selecting "Members", and clicking the option to leave the blog. I cannot remove people myself. But if you want to stay, I'm definitely not against that either.)

We understand that a lot has changed within the DSMP community, and we want to assure everyone that this blog will solely focus on the DSMP alone. We do not want to comment on discourse on CC's behind the SMP (although, rest assured, we do not support those who've royally fucked up). If we reblog an analysis post you've made back in the day that you don't want to associate with anymore, you are free to tell us. We will delete reblogs asap.

For the blog itself, we have little changes:

Do not contact any of the mods listed about this blog if they are listed as inactive.

Instead of tagging all the potential trigger warnings for posts, we believe the responsibility of tagging triggers should be the OP's alone. If a trigger warning is missing, contact the OP instead of us.

Character Relationships and Character Analyses will be removed from the spreadsheet, but will remain as tags. We believe it to be redundant when the sheet has hundreds of different characters, making navigation difficult.

Speaking of, we are trying our best to add a better navigation system in the spreadsheet using the Filter View option. Additional columns have been added to reflect the characters, factions, and plotlines detailed in each post. This will take a little bit of time to complete, since we have to go through every single post.

In line with the previous bullet point, we've added a sheet purely for navigation. It also explains how to use the Filter View option. It will be the first sheet you see when you open the Master Spreadsheet.

Anyway, glad to be back, and hoping to reignite discussions about the DSMP again!

[jermasubtitledofficial]

Hi everyone, I'm the official subtitle editor for 2ndJerma and Jerma Stream Archive. I've been working to make Jerma985's videos more accessible through closed captions and subtitles. Jerma985 videos are subtitled regularly. You can view the definitive playlist of them here:

I also provide play-by-play updates on Twitter (@JermaSubtitled) to keep you informed on when and which videos have captions finalized and published.

Subtitling is a labor-intensive task that requires a lot of time and effort, but it's worth it to make sure that everyone can enjoy Jerma's content. However, I don't receive official compensation for my work. (writing, reviewing and editing captions) Without official pay, it can be difficult to justify the time I put into managing subtitles. That's why I'm reaching out to the community for support.

If you appreciate the effort I put into providing subtitles, please consider supporting me on Patreon. You can join for as low as $3/month, and all proceeds go towards continuing to make Jerma's videos accessible. If you'd like to give a one-time tip instead, you can do so here. Every little bit helps and is greatly appreciated. Your funding is 100% responsible for keeping Jerma985 subtitles running.

I understand that not everyone is in a position to contribute financially, and that's okay! Just spreading the word and letting others know that these subtitles exist and are available is a huge help. Thank you for taking the time to read this post. With your help, we can do a great service for YouTube accessibility.

Up next, a recap of what happened in March 2023:

I update interested parties each month about what's been added, and I'll start posting them here if there's sufficient interest, plus any additional musings. So here's the recap from March:

The community has provided so many submissions I'm nearly overwhelmed! I have a lot to review. Every caption will be published, it's just a matter of time. Those not present have been added to the queue.

First, overlap from February is SCORN by me, Erasmus Magnus. It highlights an interesting conundrum of subtitling: how to intuitively portray something said for a deaf/HOH audience, in this case a filtered voice. Feedback I received including that of @maplecaster led to the final result, and I think it works tremendously well.

Second, we have The Short Sniper by community regular, kitpigeon. Short and sweet, high-quality subs for one of Jerma's low-profile videos. Great job.

Next, we have Receding Randy transcribed by @maplecaster. This was some fine stuff. I'm embarrassed how long it took me to sync it, but that's only because I'm something of a perfectionist. I try to limit the time sink, but I want the best for the subtitles, and it only makes sense to polish the time to be as good as the text content.

After that, we have an absolute classic in the form of Grab that Grotto 5—no relation to Grotto Beasts—by @graysaregay. Well done on this. I did some executive editing for some tricky stuff like the text-to-speech voice. I'm really glad this ol' classic nearing a million has captions now.

And finally, italoplumber has provided a German translation of The Max Cow Capacity Compulsion. Never would've guessed he was popular in DACH countries, but I suppose it makes sense. It's in his name. Willkommen in Jermany.

And that's it! If you want to see more about official Jerma985 subtitles, including musings and related information, consider following! And again, play-by-play updates can be found on Twitter at @JermaSubtitled.

[sandybrett]

Here are my completely honest thoughts on a bunch of audio dramas I've checked out. (Don't worry, nothing scathing, they're all reasonably good. But please proceed with caution, or don't proceed, if you're involved in creating any of these shows.)

In the order I first listened:

The Storage Papers: Nine episodes in. A little slow paced, but I've heard it picks up in the later seasons. My only real concern is that it seems like a lot of the horror revolves around "this thing looks sort of like a human but it's Wrong somehow. also it kills people (or cats)." I hope at some point we meet a creature that looks and acts as unsettling as the Grinner but is nice, or at least complicated.

The Cellar Letters: Seven episodes in. I LOVE it. I love the natural-feeling messiness of it, the way Nate and Steve talk in circles and go back and forth on what to believe. It's made me laugh out loud multiple times. I can't wait to learn more about that weird little room full of letters with that one random word written on the wall (I forget what).

400 Words a Horror: Three episodes in. I had to re-listen to the first episode because I hadn't been paying enough attention, but I think that particular episode rewards re-listening anyway. Also it is the only show on this list that genuinely frightens me so I have to pace myself. Very good.

Tin Can Audio Presents: Middle:Below: Two episodes in. I won't say I'm hooked, but I am somewhat interested. It's a lot more relaxing than the other podcasts on this list, so I keep thinking I'll save it for listening closer to bedtime, then not getting around to it.

The Grotto: Six episodes in. Very much enjoying. I was SO proud of myself for correctly guessing the twist in the second episode. I love the characters and am extremely intrigued by the mysteries. My only criticism is that the musical interludes drag on too long. And I'm saying that as a WOE.BEGONE fan.

Soul Operator: Three episodes in. It's good but there isn't any particular element that's drawing me in just yet. There's a lot I don't know about the world yet, though, so there is still plenty of time for me to fall in love with this show. (Irrelevant note: I always get "Smooth Operator" by Sade stuck in my head when I think about this show.)

Shadows at the Door: Listened to half of the first episode. It was somewhat interesting, but I decided I had higher priorities for my listening time than disconnected hour-long episodes that are only *somewhat* interesting.

Archive 81: Five episodes in. Quite possibly going to become a major obsession. It's got everything: playing with point of view; the Power of Storytelling but in a menacing way; vivid character voices; probably a cult. I particularly love the way conversations play out on this show--I don't know exactly how to explain it but there's a certain... friction that happens in real conversations but rarely in fictional ones outside cringe comedy. I don't usually enjoy that sort of thing when it's played for laughs, but for realism or suspense? I eat that up. It does make me a little tense so this is another show I pace myself with and I'm glad the episodes are short.

Alice Isn't Dead: Two episodes in. I'm not going to make it a priority--it's got a similar sort of surrealism to Night Vale, but with higher stakes and less humor, and I had enough trouble getting immersed in Night Vale. I could probably enjoy it if I gave it enough time, but for now I'd rather focus on *gestures at some of the shows above*

The Silt Verses: Listened to the first ten minutes of the first episode and got bored, which I think says as much about me as it does about the show. It does get off to a bit of a slow start and leaves more space between lines of dialogue than most of these shows do, but I could probably get into it with adequate time and sleep. Not prioritizing it, for similar reasons to Alice.

[drdemonprince]

are there any medium articles or other essays you've written that you have a different perspective on now? Whether a small bullet point or the entire objective of a piece. It's interesting following your journey while catching up on the archive

Ohhhh yeah. In a big way. My thinking on nearly all matters continues to evolve, so much so that I always cringe a bit at some phrasings in my books by the time they are out.

In my work on Medium you can see a strong inconsistency in how I think about several topics -- I've gone through periods of disparaging my family, to extending them grace, to thinking I have a moral responsibility to fight with them, to regretting my rage at them, to calling my parents abusive, and on and on. On this topic, it's not so much that my feelings have changed, so much as each point of view represents one facet of the same gem I'm spinning in my mind's eye.

My thoughts on sexual assault and justice have evolved a ton. Around the time of the Weinstein and Ansari accusations, I wrote a lot about rape and coercion. Then a dear friend experienced an assault and was not believed by a huge friend group that we shared and I took on an even more hardline, believe-all-victims-and-take-action-swiftly-to-protect-them stance. I was more traumatized and dysphoric back then too.

My hardline stance eventually came into conflict with my abolitionism, and my growing respect for the importance of personal discernment that emerged more and more over the course of the pandemic. I just saw too many people who were afraid to exercise their own discernment on a wide array of topics and who amplified vague callouts of all kinds without skepticism (god, remember the Wayfair conspiracy?), and I saw how such formless accusations harmed the marginalized in particular. And all the gormless attacks on "narcissists" as the cause of abuse really chilled me. all that strongly tempered my dogmatism.

But I have also witnessed the "anti cancel culture" squad fail to live up to any value system whatsoever and I have fought with them a lot quite openly over their frequently racist, transphobic, theory-free views. All I know today is that navigating these waters is very, very hard, and that I am only in control of living by my values and being outspoken about them and that attempts to manipulate a moral response out of other people don't work and that information is only as good as my knowledge about who and where it came from. I think my evolution on all this closely tracks with the shifts in the zeitgeist -- it's rare for me to be that on pace with the average person I meet.

My perspective on how a meaningful difference in the world is made has changed. In 2016 I was calling politicians for an hour every day on livestream to protest this or that conservative bill. Now i'm an anarchist with minimal regard for electoral politics or any formal institutions. I did vote for Brandon Johnson though.

But by far the piece that least reflects my current understanding of things is one from 2020 called "Against Community." But that one was never meant to be a prescription for how people should live their lives. It was just a description of where I was at emotionally, having watched multiple friend groups disintegrate over abuse, triangulation, and bad boundaries. I'm glad I don't have to feel that way now. It was the growth after that experience that led to my revelation that communities are just relationships you build, and keep building, not static places you find.

On the whole I am less angry now, less dogmatic, less inclined to believe that electoral work matters or that posting is activism, less hellbent on making everybody agree with me, more comfortable with mourning, more radical, more patient, less grandiose and less hung up on what other people think of me. Despite all that i am still a very arrogant angry neurotic stressed out self superior insecure person.

Thanks for this great question. When I hold fake interviews with myself in the shower, it's being asked things like this that I fantasize about.

[swallowtailed]

palisade 47! finalisade part 2!

truly three incredible scenes. also this is not going to be a short finalisade lmfao. probably minimum five more episodes (for a total of seven) but the sky's the limit. if they keep going at this rate of scenes, and presuming interludes/epilogue are each one scene long, that'd already be a nine episode finalisade. very exciting

brnine's scene: so glad we finally got to come back around to their attempt to recruit lattice/refrain. it's a good opener for the finale, too, for brnine to be able to make a more successful argument in favor of fighting with mbreak now that they're in the mirage. also obviously it's excellent to have a nobel ghost literally fully just haunting the blue channel now

refrain flickering between faces was really fun. friends at the table has some excellent genderfluidities. speaking of, my first thought re tm comparisons was polyphony--another town created by a shapeshifter (although changing personality rather than face) who wanted folks to come in and stay. was really interesting to me that refrain accepted the compromise of taking only the willing, which is sort of coming at polyphony's strategy from the opposite direction. refrain as archive was also really compelling to me. i like when an archive is covetous and hungry and persuasive, and constructs morality around/within itself, and is animated by preservation and interment. (chanting: WORST! PARTS! OF! MUSEUMS!)

lastly, the question of "what happens when the war's over" has been a quieter throughline in palisade (highly entangled with the whole blue channel self-sacrifice situation, cf phrygian) and it was interesting that brnine raised it to refrain. i'm curious whether that's going to come to the forefront in p3--really depends on what's going on at the end of the perfect millennium, i think.

august's scene: ahhh what a mess. delicious. really good visuals here as well--steeple catterick, clem on her big dramatic dragon, cori's new mech in action (skeleton covered in blooming flowers!), giant ink ferrets devouring the bilat front line and then vanishing and leaving only bloodstains and echoes behind... love to see it

always fun when fatt discovers an animal on air. i do think we should give the giant prehistoric otters serious consideration and also as many other giant prehistoric creatures as can fit (yes i'm still thinking abt the flash nautilus). it's thematically relevant

what did catch my attention about the ultimate result of the scene, re the iconoclasts turning indiscriminately on anyone military (thus neatly equating the bilats and the cause), is that it immediately shoves august's storyline farther in the direction of "compromised and implicated simply through the use of violence". i do wonder where august's gonna end up by the end of palisade--he's on a similar path, i think, to a couple other characters who have struggled to see beyond the war, but he's in much more of a position to be found guilty for it. does seem like he's set up to fail

cori's scene: YAAAAAAAAAY GO CORI :D what a win, what a legend. finally kissed a girl. good for her. the crumbling ballroom filled with the map of the galaxy was reminiscent of brnine and dahlia in a very fun way. "i didn't want to scare you off with my power" / "you know it's an invitation" / [blushing, stammering] "....for what"

my favorite thing about the scene was cori using perennial magic to show elle a potential future for the two of them, because it's such a perfect mirror to future's visions. like, cori can create that herself, using perennial's magic, when elle asks ("build me another dream, then" was such a tasty line), rather than the aura of future dragging it out of her. and can share it (and shape it, and rewrite it) rather than just envisioning it privately. a really interesting contrast between the two divines and their respective views on possibility

can see a one-way ticket out of the mirage being a really pivotal thing to have on the table in a few episodes. cannot wait :):):)

[theonethatyaks93]

Heartbeats (PaTB Valentine's Day Fic 2024)

Hi guys!! Happy Valentine's Day!!! This is the fic I made for my incredible friend @therealhayyhay as a little present. I'm so glad that we found each other! I'm gonna try and keep this short but I really put my heart and soul into this and I'm hoping you guys like it!!

Another botched plan, another night spent wasting away in failure. Even though world domination had been put aside for his marriage to the love of his life, he still felt that lingering guilt of a futile attempt. Why he kept pondering these negative ideals, he had no clue. But The Brain could only wish that he would pay attention to things that truly mattered.

Mainly his lovable Pinky.

He kept his head down as Pinky literally carried him back into the cage, his arm bandaged from an incredibly painful fall after an explosion. It stung mildly but he was certain it would be healed by tomorrow. Brain could only think about how fortunate it was that his husband hadn’t been harmed by the blast. He almost forgot that he’d been hurt himself.

“I’m sorry that the plan failed Brain. Narf! I’m sure you’ll get it tomorrow! I know it!” Pinky smiled, holding Brain gingerly as he slowly walked.

Brain winced a little at the slight pain the Pinky accidently inflicted on his arm with his movements, but he sighed afterward as he glanced upon Pinky’s calm expression. He found relief in the way his precious face was all scrunched up and cheery looking. “You have nothing to apologize for, my dear. Tonight’s failure was entirely because of my own volition. I…should have paid more attention to the fine mechanics in all honesty.”

“Aww!” Pinky purred, nuzzling Brain’s nose, touching it softly which caused Brain to let out a light squeak. “Don’t be so hard on yourself! I believe that you can do this! Or at least you won’t cause an explosion next time!”

“Thank you, Pinky.” Brain nuzzled back, pushing them as close as they could go in their current circumstance. “I welcome your support and confidence in me. And I couldn’t be happier with your loyalty…”

He stopped in his tracks when he got a good view at his husband’s reaction to his returning affection. His eyes lit up and his tiny smile grew wider. He could even notice a light pink dusting his face. Brain could feel a deep blush creeping up; suddenly his want for Pinky took over a desire for everything else. Even those nagging thoughts that were previously present faded away.

“Uhm…it appears that my previous temperament has left me. I seem to have become entranced by your loving stare, Pinky. I cannot finish my previous sentence, at least with the same level of slight irritation as I once had.” He tried keeping a straight face, but his emotions were starting to affect his entire body. Brain felt himself heat up more when Pinky responded with a flirty smirk

“Oh, Brain! Poit! Stop it! You’re making me feel all fluttery and gooooshy! I could so kiss you right now!” Pinky quickly batted his paw up and down, as his blush became even more obvious.

Brain lifted his non-injured arm to place his paw on Pinky’s cheek, causing him to look directly at Brain. “We are spouses, Pinky. We’ve been married for a year. You know you don’t have to say that anymore. I usually oblige to kissing in most situations.” He stopped briefly to pull Pinky closer, their foreheads touching. “And you are far too beautiful right now for me to resist.”

Pinky was about to respond, but Brain didn’t let him, their lips meeting before he even had the chance to speak. Pinky made a moan of surprise when Brain made his move, but he soon began humming contently as the kiss continued, his tail happily swishing. Brain felt himself swoon a little at Pinky’s quiet sounds, one of his favorite parts of kissing by far. He savored the moment, deepening the kiss at a speedy pace.

When Pinky parted for air, Brain didn’t waste any time and locked their mouths together once more. He loved kissing his husband. It always made him feel better about himself and about his difficulties. Pinky was so placid and caring with him, it was almost unreal how this mouse had become all his. But just as their kiss was about to take a more intimate turn, Pinky’s legs gave out as he tripped on the entrance to their cage, causing Brain to tumble to the floor with an obnoxious thud.

Brain yelped; the fall had caused a searing pain to return to his injured arm. He hissed, biting back embarrassment that the kiss had distracted Pinky from seeing where he was going, but also fighting back tears that began to prick his eyes. Brain knew it had been an accident. Yet somehow, this little slip caused all the built-up emotions from before to come crashing back, even more spiteful, and harsh than before.

Before he could fully lose himself in his agony, he felt himself be held tightly. Brain eased a little when he saw his husband’s worried face in front of him, his apologetic appearance radiating immense trepidation.

“Brain, are you alright? Zort! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to drop you. I always forget about that nasty-wasty step. I’m such a dunce. How’s your arm?” Pinky spoke chaotically and quick, inspecting Brain’s arm gingerly. He seemed to grow more troubled when he noticed the slight swelling, his distress growing. “Oh no! It’s even worse! Your arm’s all swelled and angry! I’m sorry, Brain! I’m a bad husband!”

The megalomaniac felt his stomach churn a little at Pinky’s sudden outburst. It was not his husband’s fault that he was injured, it had just been a matter of occurrence. “No, Pinky. You are certainly not a bad husband. You just happened to not pay attention to your surroundings, which is inane. But you are mostly not to blame. Even if the pain is immense” Brain snuggled closer to Pinky, doing his best to soothe his spouse’s woes. “You are a remarkable partner, dearest. Don’t ever doubt that or I shall have to kiss you.”

Pinky placed a paw on Brain’s cheek, rubbing it tenderly. He giggled, carefully setting Brain’s arm down before dragging him closer. “I love you so much, darling. I want you to know that every day! But can I kiss and hug away your boo-boos so that you feel all happy and good again? Pretty please?”

Brain was hesitant at first, mostly because he knew that kisses didn’t provide any real healing and that his arm was still hurting quite a bit. But the prospect of more kissing from his lover was so tempting, he couldn’t pass on this opportunity. “Alright, Pinky. You may proceed with your attempt at comforting me. Be careful though.”

“Yay!” Pinky cheered, slightly shaking Brain in his excitement. “I promise this’ll make you feel all better! Troz!”

Wasting no time, Pinky immediately lowered his head and began peppering kisses along Brain’s arm, making sure not to miss a single spot. It was a little crude, but Brain was not paying any attention to the more awkward factors in the matter. He was far too lost in the pleasant sensations invading his body. “P-Pinky. It-it’s perfect.” He struggled saying anything coherent. Pinky’s kisses proved to incapacitate him in every single feasible way.

Pinky briefly looked at Brain, adoration shining in his eyes. “I knew you’d love-love-love it! And I’m not done!”

After a little while of Pinky simply kissing Brain’s arm, he sneakily worked his way up to Brain’s neck and chest, leaving a couple smooches there. Brain held in a reaction as best he could, though he failed to suppress light chuckles. His husband noticed this, kissing him even faster and deeper than before. Brain had a feeling that Pinky didn’t exactly want to relieve his injuries anymore. Not that he cared, Pinky kissing him was a benefit no matter what. But he could clearly tell that things were shifting.

Brain let out a slight whine when Pinky left him, though the two remained close. He felt his spouse’s arms wrap around his waist, as he began being pulled into an embrace. He was about to protest the crushing contact, feeling like the kisses were enough. Just as quickly, however, that initial unease was completely replaced when the side of his face was gently settled on Pinky’s soft chest.

He could hear the soft sighs and hums elicited by Pinky, which he found quite adorable. Brain tried his best to situate himself to where he could be in a better position so he could hold Pinky as well. Obviously, he couldn’t raise his bandaged arm, but he supposed that one would suffice enough. He did his best to keep Pinky close, but his husband was nuzzling and kissing his head and it tickled just a little. While he tried at first to tell Pinky to stop, Brain suddenly froze when he sensed an unusual, yet loving feeling began seeping into his mind.

That’s when he noticed it.

The noise that he’d grown quite accustomed to over the past few years. This time, though when he heard it, something was different. His reaction was different.

Pinky’s heartbeat.

It was like he was hearing the gentle thrum for the first time. Which was simply not true. It had been so many years since Brain first rested against Pinky’s chest. The first time, he’d been shocked and even a little confused. He knew Pinky had a heart. Every living being did. But he still hadn’t heard one beating so close. Brain was even a little fearful about it at first. Pinky had been so comforting though, helping him feel more secure in their newfound relationship. It was one of the best days of his life.

Following that, whenever they would get close or fall asleep within their shared sponge bed, Brain would always listen for Pinky’s heartbeat. He felt like it was a sign of their love for each other, their connection. Without it, Brain felt insecure and trepidatious. Almost scared, though he wouldn’t admit that. When they’d been married, Brain sought it even more. He hoped that for as long as he could hear Pinky’s steady heart, they’d be together.

And yet, currently, he was feeling strange. Something wasn’t adding up to him.

Brain stayed as quiet as possible, trying to absorb the sound into his mental capacity as a dark blush appeared on his cheeks. It was a steady rhythm, quick and yet soft. Noisy but peaceful. Energetic and a little erratic. Just like the mouse that it resided within. How a heart could match someone so perfectly Brain did not know. Still, his usual calmness during these kinds of moments was nonexistent currently; he was thinking about a lot. But he had not a clue as to why.

Was it because of the failure? Was he questioning his relationship with Pinky? What was happening to his emotions?

A sudden rush of anxiety crept over Brain, hitting him like a rock. He hastily pulled away from his husband, backing away slowly as his breathing increased in vigor. Pinky’s calm face sank into one of confusion, cocking his head to the side at Brain’s peculiar reaction.

“Brain, is something wrong? I didn’t hurt you again, did I?” Pinky murmured with a little hesitation.

Brain mustered up his confidence, trying to respond to Pinky’s questions with an excuse. “Yes, I’m fine, dear. I…uh…I just remembered that we haven’t had dinner yet.” He looked off to the side, hoping that Pinky wouldn’t make assumptions. Brain wasn’t even hungry.

“Egad! You’re right! Narf! I knew I forgot something! Silly me!” Pinky got up from the ground and immediately dashed for the cage door, a slight skip in his step. “Would you like me to use the three-in-one oil again for your food pellets? I know how much you like that.”

Brain nodded, hoping that he’d be gone for a while so he could process what was occurring in his thoughts. “I would like that very much. Feel free to take all the time you need. I’ll be here waiting for your return.”

Pinky squealed, waving flirtatiously and winking as he walked away. “Don’t go anywhere, love! Or do. I’m not stopping you!”

Brain did his best to smile, but when Pinky turned around, his face fell.

Now he needed time to ponder for sure.

**************************************

It had only been five minutes, and yet Brain had already found himself in an intense emotional spiral, his mind whirling and scattered thoughts giving him a mild migraine. He was sitting on the edge of his sponge bed, staring out into the empty space beyond the cage bars. He hadn’t heard Pinky in a while so something told him that he was very busy making the food pellets just the way he liked. But that pleasing notion was doing nothing to stop his uncertainty and worry.

He didn’t understand why he’d reacted like that. Why he’d panicked upon hearing Pinky’s heartbeat. That had been happening for years. Why now suddenly was he nervous? Why now had he felt odd?

Somewhat bewildered.

Frightened even.

It had been three years since he and Pinky had become a thing. Romantically speaking that was; they’d been friends for decades. He’d first heard Pinky’s heart only a few days before the big confession. That had been the triggering point for him. What pushed Brain to confess his affections to his partner. Their first kiss was breathtaking. The snuggles that followed over the next few days were glorious. Things only grew from there. Days in a relationship turned to weeks, which turned into months, which eventually led to their marriage. Brain’s love for Pinky knew no restraints. He loved Pinky. He loved Pinky so much.

Yet, he questioned why Pinky would stay with him. How had the most incredible being to ever exist ended up with him? He was a simple laboratory mouse who constantly failed at taking over the world. And still he got a loving husband? Why him? He was a failure. And his abrasive behavior towards Pinky occasionally could be seen by others as abusive.

Through all the plights, Pinky cared about him. Loved him unconditionally. Showered him with warmth, late-night cuddles, and tender kisses that made him feel rather invincible. Through all the peril and despair Brain encountered, Pinky was always there to offer him support. He hated to acknowledge it but without Pinky, Brain wasn’t so sure he’d still be alive.

He could feel the tears pouring from his eyes, could sense his labored breaths. Brain didn’t understand why he was so afraid of confronting his love for Pinky or what exactly made him question it. Pinky was his world. They were married and had been together for what felt like a lifetime. While it had been so long since they reached non-platonic levels, Brain still questioned if and why he even earned his husband. He questioned if Pinky would truly stay with him forever. Or would he leave him at the first signs of trouble. Right now, those thoughts were prevalent more than ever.

All this started because of a stupid heartbeat. What a preposterous reason to be upset.

He held in a sob, closing his pink eyes to resist the sudden urge to start crying and never cease. All these questions were killing his emotions, making him feel unworthy. Brain hated weakness. He tried to never show it. Though now, it seemed like all he could do was be vulnerable and get lost in his own beliefs.

“Brain! I’m done with the food pellets! Poit! We ran out of the three-in-one oil, so I had to use that stuff in the cupboard that tastes like soap. I hope that’s okay with you!”

Brain didn’t even look up when he heard Pinky calling out to him. He couldn’t glimpse at him directly with all the emotions that were building. He tried to ignore Pinky, but as always, his spouse knew something was wrong instantaneously.

Pinky approached slowly, a clear apprehension prevalent in his expression. “Honey, is something wrong? You look like you’ve been crying.”

Brain lifted his head so he could finally glance at Pinky, not trying to hide his tear-stained face anymore. Pinky seemed to notice Brain’s upset state, rushing over to him, and sitting on the edge of the bed. He immediately pulled him into a small hug, using his paws to hold Brain’s face.

“No, no. Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. It will be okay, I promise. What’s wrong?” Pinky gently wiped tears from Brain’s cheeks, kissing his nose softly. Brain tried to hold it in but to no avail.

“I’m sorry Pinky. About everything,” he quietly sobbed. “I’ve been having these ridiculous doubts lately about us. About why you stay with me. Why you chose me to be your husband out of everyone else. It’s inane, yet I still have these questions.”

Pinky gasped faintly, tilting Brain’s head so that they could stare at each other face to face. “We’ve talked about this so many times, Brain. I chose you because I love you. I’ve always loved you since I first met you.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“I’m not.” Pinky’s tone changed from sympathetic to stern in a matter of seconds. His usually soft blue eyes were now filled with some hints of irritation. “I would never not be honest Brain. I’m not a good liar. Zort! Why are you feeling like this? Did I do something wrong?”

Brain snapped. His emotional barrier came toppling down much quicker than usual as he moved from his husband, eyes flaring. “That’s the problem! You’ve done nothing wrong. You act so kind and considerate of me, Pinky, and I’m afraid that I don’t deserve you at all! That you’d leave me someday because I hurt you! I can’t risk that.” He tried to keep from making a scene, but not much could quell his vicious and sudden sobbing.

Surprisingly, Pinky didn’t overreact. He barely whimpered. He wiped a few small tears from his face before holding onto Brain’s shoulders, making sure not to cause pain to his injury. “You do deserve me, sweetheart. We’re a happier-than-happy couple and we’re in love! I couldn’t think of anyone else to be all mine. You’re amazing! What made you think about all these spooky scary thoughts?”

“Surprisingly, Pinky, it was that.” He pointed to Pinky’s chest, a little hesitation present at revealing his reasoning for his brief emotional crisis.

“My chest? How does my chest make you nervous?”

Brain sighed, rubbing his temple a few times in annoyance. “No Pinky, your chest is…nice. It’s…uh well…it’s your heartbeat.”

Pinky’s confused face shifted to one of slight alarm as he examined his chest. “My heart, Brain? Is something wrong with it? I try to tell it to not be so chatty, but it just can’t help itself. Poit! It loves making those funny noises.”

The megalomaniac couldn’t help but blush and smile a little at Pinky’s naïve nature and trivial comments. “It’s just…set some feelings in me that weren’t there before a few moments ago. That’s really it.”

“Oh! Like the day we became a couple! That was so fun! And so sweet of you! I remember that all the time!” Pinky nuzzled Brain after saying that.

“I appreciate your comments and your unbridled affection for me.” Brain nuzzled Pinky back and pulled him nearer. “But would you ever leave me for someone else? I’d hate to make you feel like I don’t love you when I do…”

“Pish-posh!” Pinky interrupted, happily chuckling afterward. “I love you no matter what happens! Narf! And I’d never leave you! I married you because I knew I’d never hate you! I don’t know how many times I need to say it, but I love you! I love you so much!”

Brain felt more tears coming, but they were far from unhappy ones. He gave his husband a soft kiss on the lips, before settling their noses together. “I love you too Pinky. And I don’t suppose I could…uh…m-maybe do that thing again?”

“Do what?”

With a slight eyeroll, Brain changed his position, so he was sitting perfectly in Pinky’s lap, wrapping an arm around his spouse’s waist. “W-what I meant was that I would…like it very much if we shared an embrace again, like before.” He held his breath for what Pinky would say.

“Of course, darling! I always love hugging you! Even if you grab me by the nose afterward because I almost killed you! Zort! C’mere!”

Without saying another word, Pinky pulled Brain to his chest, settling his head on Brain’s. It wasn’t long before the room grew quiet enough to where Brain could hear Pinky’s heart. However, instead of feeling bizarre, Brain felt a pleasant warmth conquer his senses, leaving his face in a deep red and his eyes widened. The sound was just loud enough to be audible but so soft that he could have easily drifted to sleep. It was the same thing as before, yet all the sweeter. Brain could sense his own heartrate increasing. How was it possible for him to fall more in love with his husband?

When Brain finally lifted his head, he was met with the warmest look he’d ever seen Pinky give him. He couldn’t help but softly smile. They just stared at each other for what felt like hours until Pinky finally spoke up.

“C-can I try it too?” Pinky asked with so much hope.

Brain was very puzzled. “Try what Pinky?”

“Can I listen to your heartbeat thingy? I wanna hear it too. Troz!”

He wasn’t sure how to respond. It had been so long since Pinky had made any remarks on his own heartbeat; ever since they’d gotten married, he remembered. But Brain wasn’t going to tell him no. He wanted Pinky to feel the same way that he’d just felt. But he was still a little apprehensive about how Pinky would react.

“Yes, Pinky. You may. As long as you don’t suck all the oxygen out of me. And please remember my injury, okay?”

Pinky cheered, instantly settling his head beneath Brain’s, and laying his ear against his chest. Brain let out a slight gasp at how quickly his partner had hugged him, but he didn’t want to complain as he planted light, tender kisses on Pinky’s head so that Pinky could feel his love. He already knew his heartbeat was fast, so he hoped Pinky wouldn’t mind.

He was surprised when Pinky pulled away so quickly. Brain was worried he’d done something wrong, although by the way Pinky was staring at him, he could tell Pinky was more amazed than anything.

“Brain! Your heart is sooooo cute! It’s making me swooooon! Poit! It sounds so soft and sweet. Kinda like you!” Pinky purred, his eyes fluttering.  

Brain was flattered by Pinky’s charming words. Though he still thought that their embrace was far from over. “Pinky, dearest, if you’re still up for more… I guess you could continue listening if you so desire.”

The taller mouse perked up, clear excitement showing. “Really? You mean it?”

“Certainly, Pinky. I’d be keen on it if you kept going.” Brain could feel the blush returning to his face.

“Well then I better not waste any more time!”

Pinky was true to his word, grabbing Brain and resting his head on his chest, humming softly as their embrace continued. When Pinky had made the sound, Brain shuddered a bit, his entire body heating up. His husband was very adorable when he was like this, so loving and cuddly.

After a few moments of silence, Pinky finally said something again. “Y-know, Brain. I could stay like this forever and ever. I love your heartbeat. And I love you! I wanna stay with you beyond forever! Narf!”

For once, Brain agreed with his lover, and though it was only one paw, he tried to hold Pinky as tightly as he could. Before he could finally silence himself and just sink into the moment, he responded with words he felt like he’d needed to say all night.

“I love you too, Pinky. And I agree with your statement. I want to remain with you forever too.”

“You mean it, love?”

Brain smiled brightly and kissed Pinky’s head. “Yes. Always yes.”

[desertfangs]

Daniel/Lestat '"I'm not going to do it again, this isn't a peep show."

This one is long and a little melancholy. I think I'm in a mood, ha! But I hope you enjoy it even though it didn't get smutty (I was trying to go there but I keep getting derailed.)

“I’m not going to do it again, this isn’t a peep show,” Daniel said, tugging his sweatshirt down over the waistband of his jeans. 

“No?” Lestat leaned against the shelf below. Daniel glared from the ladder. He was trying to find the box they’d come for here in the archives of the Night Island cellar, and Lestat kept making lewd comments when his sweatshirt rode up and revealed his midsection. 

“We didn’t come all the way to Florida so you could stare at my stomach.” 

“Perhaps not, but there’s no sense in not enjoying the view.” Lestat smirked.

Daniel rolled his eyes, ignoring the flush that ran up his neck. “Do you want to see it or not?” 

“And if I say no? That I’ve changed my mind? Then what?”

“Then you can get off of my island,” Daniel said, moving the ladder to the next shelf over. 

Lestat dramatically clutched his heart, as if shocked by his harshness, and Daniel smiled.

He climbed up the ladder and found most of these boxes were labeled 83 and 84. That was the right time period, at least. He pulled one down and opened it. It was full of papers. Bills, mostly, long paid, with no reason to keep them. He dug through it vaguely out of curiosity but there wasn’t anything worth holding onto that he could see. He took the sharpie out of his pocket and wrote “Old Mail” on the side of the box. 

Armand was a pack-rat of the highest order, and he’d been worse in the early 80s, keeping everything no matter how unnecessary. One of these days, Daniel was going to drag Armand down here and get him to go through this place and throw out the junk.

“You’d be better off doing it alone,” Lestat said. He was studying his fingernails, his rings glinting on his pale fingers. “He won’t miss what you toss.”   

“That’s probably true.” Still, Daniel worried about throwing the wrong thing out and it coming back to bite him in a hundred years. Though what use Armand might possibly have for thirty-year-old utility bills was beyond him.

The next box was clothes. Old, ratty socks and underwear of Daniel’s, ones Armand had thrown out because they’d become too full of holes to be worth wearing. Or rather, Daniel had thought he’d thrown them out. Apparently he’d boxed them up and shoved them on a shelf down here in the storage rooms of the cellar. 

Daniel saw Lestat watching him in his periphery. He closed the box and slid it back into place. The next one was more junk: matchbooks pilfered from bars, random keys to god only knew what, spare buttons, a few coins, a pair of sunglasses with one of the lenses missing, and a pack of Big Red gum that would probably crumble to dust if opened. Junk drawer stuff, as if Armand had dumped the contents of the junk drawer of their last house into a box when they’ve moved into the Villa. Which, now that Daniel looked at it, he clearly had.

“You know, I find it’s easier to remove the garbage from Louis’ collections bit by bit,” Lestat mused.

Daniel glanced down at him. “How often does he notice something’s missing?” 

Lestat folded his arms over his chest. “More often than I’d like. He’s meticulous about his trash.” 

Daniel laughed. “Or maybe you guys have different definitions of what should be held onto.” Daniel looked into the box one more time, detritus from a lifetime ago, and closed it up. So it went, Daniel trying to notate the contents of each box to make a future clean out easier as he opened them and put them back. Lestat watched, not bothering to help—“You know your maker’s organizational system best”—and occasionally making a comment about Daniel’s ass as he climbed the ladder.

Finally, two shelves down, Daniel found the box. He was suddenly glad for Armand’s almost obsessive need to keep things. “Got it.” He climbed back down the ladder, box under his arm, and left the ladder where he’d set it up. “Come on.” 

Lestat followed him up out of the cellar and into the parlor. Daniel opened the French doors that lead to a veranda with a view of the ocean to let in some air and then took the box over to the coffee table.

Lestat bounded over with the enthusiasm of a puppy, eager and impatient. Daniel opened the box. He pulled out a stack of t-shirts and tossed one at Lestat’s head. Lestat laughed in surprise. It was tie-die, blue, purple and green. The stack had various experiments with colors, all mixed together in funky patterns. 

Lestat unfolded the shirt and held it up his chest, over the plain blue shirt he wore beneath his leather jacket. “What do you think?”

“It suits you,” Daniel said. He lifted stack of Polaroid photos from the box. Armand, his auburn hair short, wearing the very shirt Lestat was holding. He looked so blank as he stared at the camera. He did that sometimes when Daniel took photos of him, froze into this neutral statue of a thing. Lestat came and sat beside Daniel, the shirt in his lap. 

Danie flipped through the photos. Armand in a shirt that had not come out as well and was mostly blotches of color. Daniel in one of the shirts smiling awkwardly. Daniel with his back to the camera, standing on the veranda, a cigarette in his hand, wearing the orange-and-red tie-die shirt. 

Lestat took the one photo where Armand was laughing, Daniel having managed to catch him at the right moment, still in the blue-purple-green shirt, dye standing his pale white fingers as he held them up and laughed.

Daniel’s heart squeezed. Those were the photos Daniel loved, the ones where Armand was natural and himself, how he’d been so much of the time. 

“I suppose I owe you ten dollars,” Lestat said. 

They’d been watching some TV special about the 70s and the tie-dye trend, and Daniel had bet that there were photos of Armand in a tie-dye shirt. Lestat hadn’t believed it. 

“This was 83,” Daniel said. “Armand found the tie-dye kit somewhere, I don’t even remember. I only remember we spent like half the week making shirts.” 

He dug into the box, pulling out even more shirts, some better than others, all arrays of colors and designs. They’d had to knot up the t-shirts in different ways to get different patterns on them. It had been a meticulous process. 

At the bottom of the box was a VHS tape. Daniel frowned. On the side it was labeled “Tie-dye, 83.” Daniel vaguely remembered Armand filming with his camcorder but he did that all the time back then, filming random bits and pieces of their lives.

Lestat snatched the tape and examined it “Is this some display of your passions inflamed by tie-dye?” 

Daniel snorted. “Yeah, totally, a tie-dye sex tape.” Although Daniel couldn’t remember what was on it. Sometimes there were little snippets of intimacy in their home videos. Most of them were unedited, just snippets of things Armand decided to film. 

“Well if there’s video evidence of him wearing these hideous clothes, that’s worth quite a bit more than ten dollars.” Lestat grinned at him. 

Daniel rolled his eyes. “He’s going to murder me,” he muttered. “Come on, I think there’s still a VCR in the den.” 

The den was on the second floor, a smaller room as far as rooms in the Villa went, but sure enough, it still had a VCR and an old television. Everything in the room was covered in plastic and Daniel removed it before sliding the tape into the player. He and Lestat settled on the couch. Daniel hit play. 

On the tape, they were on the veranda downstairs, the doors open. They had big plastic tubs arranged outside for making the shirts in and Daniel was squirting dye into one of them. Daniel watched as on the video, he dropped a t-shirt into the tub and swirled it around in the dyed water. His hand came up stained orange and pink. The tape cut and it was Armand fishing wet, freshly dyed shirts from the tubs. Then another shot of Armand wearing the shirts, telling Daniel to hold the camera steady. Daniel laughing from behind the lens. 

Another cut. Daniel was frowning at the camera, smoking a cigarette. He wore the orange and yellow tie dye shirt, his blond hair messy, circles beneath his eyes visible even under his glasses. “Put on the the purple one,” Armand said from behind the camera. “It matches your eyes.” 

Danie glared at the camera. “Let me finish my cigarette.” 

“I’ll hold your cigarette,” Armand offered. The camera moved closer.

 “Jesus Christ, Armand, we’ve been doing this for three days, can you just give it a rest?” His tone was harsh, his words slightly slurred. The tape was grainy but Daniel could see how his hand was shaking and the exhaustion on his own face. 

“Of course,” came Armand’s reply, his voiceless toneless in a way that indicated he was hurt. 

On the couch, Daniel winced. But on the tape, it only irritated past Daniel further.

“You know, it’s easy enough for you to waste a week with this crap, but how many weeks do I have left? You fill our nights with this nonsense like I’m going to forget that my life is slipping out from under me and every day I get older and closer to death.” 

Heavy sigh. “Don’t be dramatic, Daniel. You’re still young.” 

“For now.” Daniel flicked his cigarette into one of the dye tubs and stormed past the camera, which lingered for a second on the empty space where Daniel had been before turning off.

Daniel’s stomach roiled. Lestat reached over and squeezed his hand, warm and reassuring. Daniel’s throat felt tight. “Sorry you had to see that.” 

Lestat scooted closer, putting his arm around Daniel’s shoulders. “C’est rien. I’m grateful none of my fights with Louis are on film. I don’t think I’d enjoy that either.” 

Daniel sucked in a shuddering breath. “We fought a lot back then. I was at my wit’s end, haunted by the specter of aging and death, and he was so damned determined that things could just keep going how they were.” Daniel shook his head. He didn’t even remember this particular fight but there had been so many like it that all blurred together, Daniel desperate to make Armand see that he should turn him or at the very least, that he was in pain, while Armand tried to pretend there wasn’t a problem. “God, I was such an asshole.” 

Lestat laughed. Daniel looked at him, surprised.

“Danny, my boy, you were in a hard situation and faced with the little imp’s stubbornness. You handled it better than most.” 

Daniel sighed. “Yeah, maybe. I just wish…” He shook his head. He wished he’d done a lot of things differently.

“We all have regrets,” Lestat said, his voice low and soft, as if thinking of a few of his own. “The key is not to dwell them on. And look, here you are! And now we have photographic evidence of Armand in the most hideous t-shirts known to man.” 

Daniel laughed at that. Lestat smoothed his hair and kissed his temple before standing. “Come, let’s get back to New York. I want to lord those photographs over Armand’s head.” 

Daniel smiled and stood. “Oh yeah, he’s definitely going to kill me.” 

[starchaseriseverything]

NSFW: SEX SCENES!!!

Alice wakes up to kisses being trailed down her neck to her breasts and hands roaming all over her body. Her eyes flutter open, and she looks down to see her wife under her shirt. “Cissa.” She says groggily. “What are you doing?”

“Giving you a birthday surprise.”

“The kids-”

“They’re with their dads so we have some time alone.”

“But-”

“You have no excuse.”

Alice groans and pulls off her shirt showing Narcissa about to grab her breast. “Fine. Suck away.”

Narcissa just grins up at her and says, “Oh, I’ll be doing much more than that.”

Alice moans as Narcissa starts sucking and massaging her right breast then switches to the left. "Cissa." She moans out her wife's name.

Narcissa smirks up at her and goes farther down, pulling down her pajama bottoms in the process. Narcissa smiles yet again before disappearing between Alice's legs. Narcissa's tongue darts across her wet pussy before a finger slides in along with her tongue. Alice can practically feel her wife smiling at how much she's moaning, and she can.

Narcissa and Alice smile the whole way down the stairs after an hour of sex. Narcissa starts up the breakfast and leads Alice back upstairs for breakfast in bed.

Narcissa blindfolds her wife all throughout the car ride and her friends and their kids are right in front of her when she finally takes it off.

Alice smiles widely when she sees Frank and his wife, Hestia, with their kids and hers and Franks. She also sees Lucius with Lila and Draco off to the side smiling at how happy Narcissa is. Mary, Marlene, and Lily smile at her when she cuts her cake, then smashing it in her face when she tries to hand it to Marlene.

Alice laughs. "You guys are the best."

"We know." Marlene replies.

"Thank you."

"It was Cissa's idea. Not ours."

Alice smiles at them. "Well, I'll be sure to thank her tonight, but for now, thank you." Lily, Mary, and Marlene smile at her and go back to their kids, making sure they have cake and ice cream.

"Did you have a good day, mom?" Neville asks.

"Yeah, did you?" The twins, Juliana and Nicky ask at the same time.

"Did you mom?" The other twins, Lila and Draco ask.

Alice smiles at them. "Of course I did. It was the most amazing day a mom could ask for."

"I bet it was." Narcissa whispers in her ear.

"Can we come home now?" Lila asks.

"No, not yet." Narcissa says to her daughter. "Stay with your dad for one more night, then We'll come pick you up in the morning, okay?"

Draco and Lila both nod and run to Lucius's car to go to sleep. Neville, Juliana, and Nicky run to their brothers, William and Alexander, and get in the car with Frank and Hestia, both parents driving off one after the other.

James smiles at her. "Nice to see you happy, Al." He says when Narcissa walks away to talk to her sisters, Bellatrix and Andromeda.

Alice smiles at him and looks back to her wife. "I am. I really am, Jamie."

James smiles at her when she turns back to him. "I'm glad. You deserve it." He turns around to look at the view of the sky at the top of the hill. "You know, I remember the day we found this place. Do you?"

"Like it was yesterday."

“We were all so drunk and we just came from a party.”

“A Slytherin party.”

“Oh, yes. Because Marlene had to drag us to her girlfriend's party, so she’ll have company.”

Alice laughs remembering that day. “And yet, she never talked to us, just made out with Dorcas.”

James laughs, too. “And Sirius and Remus were off in a corner making out.”

“And a lot of others.”

“Oh, yeah.” He laughs. “We all were so drunk and couldn’t even remember falling asleep up here, let alone actually walking up here.”

Alice laughs again. “We didn’t even have a car to drive so I don’t even know how we got this far from the party.”

“That was one of the days where we all were together without any fighting.”

Alice smiles. “I wish we could go back to that day.”

James smiles from beside her, as well. “Me, too.”

Alice pats James’s shoulder after five minutes of watching the sunset and says, “Well, I think it’s time we leave. See you later, Jamie.” James turns to her and hugs her.

“Happy birthday, Al.” He whispers by her ear. “Have the best night.”

“Who says we’ll be doing anything?” She asks as they pull away.

James raises his eyebrows. “Your kids going to their dads on a weekday.”

Alice laughs. “Oh, that. Guess you caught us.” Alice smiles as she walks away and says, “Better go fuck my wife.”

“Dad, what does fuck mean?” Euphemia asks James.

Alice laughs as James yells, “Alice!” And Narcissa and Alice just drive away, leaving James to explain and everyone else to clean up.

[tonguetiedraven]

prompt: accidental consumption of a temporary love potion ;)

Double prompt fill! (And I'm so glad you enjoy my writing <3<3<3)

I've enlisted the help of the fantastical @marble-wolf to play Rin in this one <3<3

-- -- -- -- --

Ryuuji had in all honesty, never actually done this before. Or at least not from this side. He was worried the cherry trees might be a bit too much, but they made him think of the grove right outside his home and gave him a bit of courage as he quietly guided Rin towards the spot. Rin’s quick ‘sure!’ when Ryuuji had asked if he had a moment and would mind following him had helped boost his confidence some, but it still felt incredibly harrowing to turn and face Rin’s big eyes.

“Uh,” he started, and mentally berated himself for not planning this out better. “I was wondering…” 

How had he never taken any notes when someone had asked him out somewhere? His mind was entirely blank out side of Rin’s pretty eyes and the urge to take Rin’s hand and he couldn’t think of the words he needed to express himself. To explain that he admired Rin. That he was drawn to his bold spirit and his constant strive to be more than just strong, to be kind as well. By his endless determination even when others snubbed him or belittled him. And that Rin was quite possibly the most handsome man he’d ever met.

(He’d even take a tip from one of Shima’s romance mangas right now. Anything to give him some kind of idea how to word this.)

“There’s a meteor shower tomorrow night,” he explained, and told himself to breathe when his voice came out a bit hoarse. “And there are a few trails and parks around here that are staying open late so people can view it. I was wondering if you’d like to go view it with me.”

Rin immediately brightened, giving Suguro a grin and excited nod, "sure! That sounds like fun!" He would never give up a chance to see Suguro, though there were times that it made his heart ache a little.  

Ryuuji’s breath whooshed out in immediate shock, and he had been blushing the entire time, but now he could feel his cheeks go even warmer as he nodded.

“Right. Good. We, uh… We could meet around seven? Get some dinner before we head up the trails? The showers won’t start until after nine, and it’s about an hour hike.”

Was that too long? He should have thought this out a bit better. At least it was cool enough that they wouldn’t be sweaty and hot from the hike.

Rin tilted his head at the redness on Suguro's cheeks, wondering if he was hot. Rin's tail lifted in a wide wag, and he hopped on his heels. 

"Yeah!" Rin cheered. (Dinner… that almost sounded like a da— no he couldn't think about that. If he did he would blush and get all stuttery and embarrass himself.)  

“Okay,” Ryuuji said, nodding again. “Seven. By the fountains?” He followed Rin’s nod with his eyes, felt himself blush even warmer as a few cherry petals fell down on Rin’s cheeks, and bowed, because he knew he was supposed to do that.

“Thank you.” His voice was a bit hoarse again and he tried to swallow that away. “I’ll see you later?”

He straightened without waiting for an answer and took a step back. He lifted his hand to give a little wave, promptly felt stupid, and had to hurry away before he did something else embarrassing like try to take Rin’s hand or ramble about how pretty his eyes were or how much he loved fighting along side Rin. 

He was still entirely red, and there was absolutely no way he was going to hide the way his lips were quirking up, but he figured he could allow himself the silly smile.

Rin watched him go, feeling something shy stirring in his chest and he was completely helpless as he watched Ryuuji leave. 

He pulled his phone out to tell Yukio to fend for himself for dinner and he prayed he didn't embarrass himself or worse. Let out the feelings he had so carefully hidden away.  

Rin was excited, hurrying through the halls to get home and get ready for his date… wait! No, not a date. Ryuuji just… wants to go watch the meteor shower. With him. No biggie. They'd probably meet up with Konekomaru and Shima but Rin didn't want to. He wanted to just be the two of them…

But not for a date. 

Because this wasn't a—

The sudden call of his name had him startling and it was how his name was said that told him who it was. There was only one person Rin knew with an accent like that. Only one person that pronounced Rin's name in such a way that had made Rin wonder if it was his name. 

But there was Lewin Light, waving at him and running with a bounce in his step. 

“Rin!” He called again, skidding to a stop and causing his hat to tip over a bit. “Just who I was hoping to see! You’re gonna help me with a box. Put that demonic strength to work.” 

Then, with a curious tilt of his head, “you’re stronger than Ryuuji, right? Do you know what your max lift weight is?”

"Uh… yes, but I don't know what my limit is." Rin answered, squinting at the man and wondering why he was asking Rin for help. "Where's Ryuuji?"  

Lightning’s nose wrinkled in confusion. “Shouldn’t you know? He said he had plans with you.” Lightning wiggled his eyebrow and gave the confused halfing a broad smile.

(He was mostly surprised his apprentice had actually asked. These two had been dancing around each other since he got here.)

Wait. “Why are you here?”

"I was just going back to the dorm…" Rin wanted to follow up with "why are you here?" but decided against it. "Help you with a box? It's not going to eat me, right?"  

Lightning shrugged. “The box won’t.” 

He turned on his heel with an energetic motion and waved for Rin to follow him as he started to march towards his office.

Rin trotted after him. "Nothing is gonna eat me. I've got plans tonight and I am not missing it 'cause something ate me."

Lightning spared him a mischievous glance. “Then maybe don’t poke in the box.” 

(So he did have plans tonight. Then why was he asking about Ryuuji? Lightning was missing something.)

He pushed the door to his office open, waving away a few stray coal tars and motioning for Rin to go in first, raising his eyebrow when Rin frowned and strolling in himself.

“This box,” he declared with a dramatic wave of his arms in the direction of a solitary box in the center of his room. “Needs to be over there.” He motioned towards a stack of boxes in the corner next to a shelf of snacks and drinks.

Rin raised an eyebrow at the box and then at Lightning. ("How did you get the box right here?") 

"Okay…" Rin hurried over, hoping this didn't make him wait and hefted up the box. His eyes widened and he paused as he lifted it. "The hell do you have in here?!" 

Rin managed to lift it, though it was heavy. "Bariyons?!" 

He lugged the box over to the indicated spot and went to set it down, but as he did, the box seemed to double in weight, throwing him off balance and sailing head first into the shelf. He dropped the box with a loud bang and managed, just barely, to catch himself on the shelf. 

His hand hit the shelf, making it sway and a glass bottle tipped and fell, colliding with his forehead and shattering (thankfully not cutting him.) The pale pink fluid soaked his hair and his clothes, seeping in an oddly hot trickle down his spine. 

"Fuck!" Rin cried.  

Lightning eyes went huge as he hurried across the room. He snatched up his travel poncho and tossed it over Rin's head, blocking the halfling from seeing him as he looked at the bottle and confirmed his fears.

Well, at least he could see how it worked on demons—no! Ryuuji was going to kill him and leave him with a messy office and no burgers.

"Rin," he hurried, "did you get any of that in your mouth, and did you see me?"

(If Rin did, Ryuuji was going to murder Lightning. Or at least subject him to a bath.)

Rin squawked, flapping his arms and squirming but the Arch Knight's hold was firm. 

"What?! I— I don't think so? I don't see anything right now… you need to wash this thing." Rin called.  

"Nah, I won't have to do that. That stuff'll be ineffective by tomorrow. Go ahead and wipe it off your face and don't get it in your mouth."

But Rin didn't know, which was kind of a problem.

"You getting any weird feelings listening to me?"

Rin stilled, listening and just trying to figure out what he did feel. There was a tingling in his body but he didn't think it was linked to Light. 

"You should wash it, it's stinky!" Rin whined, wiping off his face and finding his hair almost oily from the stuff. "I don't know! I feel… okay?"  

Lightning tilted his head like a curious dog. "And what if I say Ryuuji? That give any weird sensations?"

Rin blushed, feeling the weird warmth of whatever that seemed to grow hotter and his entire face felt like it went bright red. 

"Ryuuji? Wh— no! That's none of your business!" Rin stumbled over his words. (There was definitely a "weird sensation".)  

“Oh, well that’s good.” Lightning leaned forward and plucked the poncho off. “You didn’t get any in your mouth.” He beamed at Rin like that was the best news he could possibly give Rin. (It was the best news he could give Rin in this situation.)

"Was it poison?!" Rin asked. "Why would you have that there?"  

“Nah, not poison,” Lightning reassured as he tossed the poncho towards the rest of his clothes to be bothered with later. “Just a love potion.”

"Love?!" Rin shrieked. "What happens now?" 

(Love potion?! Like… love? But he felt no different towards Lightning (thank God.))  

“Don’t really know since you’re a halfling. Should just amplify a crush or love you already got. We’re lucky! If it had gotten in your mouth, you’da fallen hard for the first person you saw.”

"Lucky?! But… I have a… I have to go hang out with Ryuuji tonight!" Rin scrambled for his phone and checked the time, heart thumping harder in his chest. "I've got less than an hour! Fix it!"

Amplify a crush… his crush was Ryuuji. Ryuuji, who wanted to hang out.  

Lightning leaned back a little. “Why’s that a problem?” Ryuuji had skipped out on helping Lightning today to get ready for that date.

Though…

His grin turned mischievous. “You getting weird sensations over there?”

"Because… he wants to hang out and—" Rin's eyes narrowed at the last bit and he could feel flickers of fire starting to sprout in his hair. "Maybe but that's not the point. The point is you gotta have an antibiotic for this!"  

“It’s probably got some weird antidote like true love’s kiss or something, but it’ll wear off in a few hours. Probably around—” he lifted his arm and squinted at his watch “—nine?” He shrugged. 

“It’s gonna make you want to gush. More than you usually do. And probably touch? I don’t know. Crush stuff.” 

Ryuuji was going to spend the entire date blushing. Lightning was a bit disappointed he wasn’t going to see any of it. It would be hilarious to watch Ryuuji flounder with a flirty Rin.

Nine! Rin put his head in his hands and sighed. He would have to miss hanging out with Ryuuji tonight… he would die of embarrassment if he flirted and touched Ryuuji. 

"You were no help." Rin said and moved to storm out.  

“It’ll only activate if you see him!” Lightning called, nudging the bariyon box a bit further with his foot.

Rin fled down the hall and out of the Cram school, nearly running as he did so. He managed to get to the dorm without any mishaps and it was only when he was rushing up the stairs and trying to pull his phone out… to apologize and back out of the da— hanging out only to discover his phone dead. 

Great. Now his options were to stand Ryuuji up (how horrible?! He could never…) or go find him and do it in person. 

Rin sighed and hurried through changing (his hands automatically grabbed for his cleanest and best punk-ish clothes), rinsing off his hair and skin (why did he style his hair?) and flying past Yukio and jumping over Kuro. He slid to a stop just outside the area they had agreed to meet and stared at his feet as he shuffled the short distance towards the fountain.

Ryuuji’s heart leapt to his throat as he saw Rin approaching. He had on a white jacket over an old, dark hoodie, ripped jeans, chains, combat boots, and he’d styled his hair so it was swept to the side and not falling in his eyes, and Ryuuji had to take a moment to swallow and remember how to walk because it was an incredible look.

“Rin!” He called, blushing as his voice cracked. He hurried across the space between them and towards his date, hardly believing it was actually happening.

(He could hardly believe he’d actually asked.)

Rin's eyes wanted to look. He needed to see Ryuuji as if something was physically tugging at him, but he couldn't. 

(He had to tell Ryuuji he couldn't go…) 

"Ryuuji, hi!" Rin managed.  

“You, uh, ready? I didn’t get a text on your preferences, so was the deli okay?” 

It wasn’t the nicest option, but Ryuuji couldn’t afford the nicest options. Plus, he knew Rin liked what they served there. 

(Why wasn’t Rin looking at him? Nervous? Ryuuji certainly was.)

"Uh…" Rin opened his mouth to say, "I'm sorry, I can't go," but what came out instead was, "let's go!"

(He wanted to look at Ryuuji. He was certain Ryuuji looked gorgeous and his voice was like a song, coaxing Rin to just… look up.)  

Ryuuji stared for a moment longer, and finally decided Rin wasn't going to look up.  He nodded again, realized Rin couldn't see it and awkwardly stuffed his hand in his pocket, leaving one out in case Rin wanted to grab it. (Or he got the courage to grab Rin's.)

"This way." 

He took a step forward, glancing back at Rin and making sure he was being followed. 

(He'd somehow imagined them walking side by side, but maybe he'd misthought? Maybe they weren't there yet, though he walked side by side with Rin all the time.)

"Have a good day?" He asked a bit lamely as they walked up the steps to the deli.

"Yeah, pretty good," except your master got me into a mess and now I can't look at your beautiful face or else I'll tell you how beautiful it is. 

"Did you?" Rin asked, watching each step as if it were fascinating.  

I hardly noticed because I kept thinking about the fact that you said yes. “Busy but good.” 

Ryuuji held the door open for Rin, watched as he shuffled his way inside, and let it close behind them.

Find out how the date goes (and the full story, lol) here!

[nothingmatters-everythingmatters]

Just popping in to say that I saw your post about the struggles of having healthy discussions about feminism on here (and other places) and just wanted to say that I relate!! (especially with the last ask I sent which you replied to with much eloquence as always)

But I think there's still some interesting discussions being had on different sides, and it's honestly amazing when we think about the mere concept of communities online, especially for things like feminism. I mean hell, I owe tumblr so much despite everything! I found your blog, for example :3

Don't despair!! Take breaks whenever you want to, hell you can disappear off the surface of this site if you'd like (tell me first tho >:!). History generally tends to lean towards progress, I believe. We will all be okay!

(sorry this was unprompted and unsolicited but I couldn't help but butt in lol)

Yours truly, 🪼

you are really too kind dear jellyfish anon lolol and the message is absolutely welcome, this is a great message and reminder!

I find myself somewhat oscillating from incredibly hopeful and cherishing the world to incredibly nihilistic about my own life and the progression of my generation, probably because despite my best efforts I still do not touch nearly enough grass to be mentally consistent, but you do make a great point and it's a good way to view the world !! I get pretty cynical about the internet sometimes, that might just be a side effect of being raised on it unfortunately. however, as you say, it is pretty dang incredible that we have this portal to a vast amount of knowledge, thought, and communication at our fingertips. it would be a shame to not explore it and take advantage of the unique kinds of interaction and community that it is possible to maintain online. and I suppose the more people who stay hopeful about this digital future, the more likely it is that it will be possible.

I never thought I'd get any kind of attention on this blog (well, I hoped I would get a little attention, that is what social media is for and it is a very human instinct to be noticed by our peers lmao) but I'm just happy that there's even a handful of people who get something out of my less hinged often-written-in-a-dark-room-at-ungodly-hours rambling. and of course, I'm always happy that there are so many people (anon included, of course!) who share their own thoughts and wonderful, thought provoking writing.

I've been thinking lately about how I often encounter male writers/bloggers/artists with opinions and writings and art that might go against the status quo, or wax philosophical about their own struggles and the state of society, and they get the glory of praise and large platforms and funding, while many of the most personally engrossing female thinkers I've found are hidden in secret blogs, forums, or web archives. it is quite sad too that men are afforded the luxury of being philosophers and great thinkers and are allowed to be flawed, complex, or controversial while still being respected in academia and public discourse, whereas women pushing new ideas or discourse are expected to placate and honor men and the status quo of femininity or else they're shunned and hidden in the public eye completely. but what I value is that with some dedication and the willingness to explore new ideas online, I can still find these women and find the interesting things they write and make, even if they're not pushed by some all-consuming algorithm or if they're forced to make their own spaces in the expansive online world. I'm glad that there's always a possibility to find something valuable amongst a sea of terrible things (because the internet is certainly quite full of terrible things). which, I guess this is also just how life works in general. a lot of terrible stuff, but the beauty of it is that some hope in finding the gold hidden in there is always possible.

aaaand that got weirdly philosophical at the end lmao. I guess I do just like to hear myself talk sometimes :p

to tl;dr though, lovely lovely ask I really appreciate the sentiment and the message, and I'm more than happy to get a little infusion of hope in my inbox! thank you so much for stopping by again as usual (and I look forward to seeing you again soon ヾ(＾∇＾) ) !!

[rin-and-jade]

i often think i'm just "faking it" cuz my alters literally just sleep in the back of my head, one being a traumaholder and the other one a protector.. they don't need to come out if not triggered and it kinda let's my brain think stuff like "yeah, you're just a bit crazy/silly, stop faking and lying to yourself"

does anyone have some experince or tips regarding how to deal with that?

Yeah i definitely know how to buddy, here is the archive post for how to handle the situation though its more on the general application, so let me give you a personalized answer under this opening:

First of all, i just want you to know that parts can't be defined only by its role or designated job. It is because of viewing a part from a this pov and not by its whole personality,, we're not only made to do a specific thing, you know?

Second, it's bound to be found weird for parts with these roles are popping up and chilling in non-dangerous moments, because we usually see them as people who are made to come up when things are getting hectic but, you know, that's still completely normal,, though if you want to get rid of the worries or certain assumptions, asking stuffs from them both wont hurt and you'll grasp a better view.

Third, i understand how you feel,, and connecting from the first and second, i want to say that there is more when it comes to parts, they're also meant to live and do other things and have good moments because life isn't always a 24/7 hell to perform their duties. I know handling with these thoughts are difficult because it can send people into spirals, and so i hope my last words of experience on being a holder will help you understand something:

I can say im a trauma holder too, for our young teen years,, i don't need a reason for me to exist or roam outside of bad moments to be a shield for everyone else,, more the longer i exist, the more i think im made to finally heal from those years of torments and actually live a life free from pain and constant anticipation for bad things to happen ever since the past--im just very glad being able to just chat, and chill at the back of the mind. Just like those two.

I hope that this has answered your question, if it doesn't please reach to my inbox one last time with a more specific reiteration,, and if you find this helpful, also feel free write something for me to read so i know how things went for you alright? see you later!

- j

[thefuzzzz]

Jasico Bingo Challenge #16!!

Prompt: Injury

Nico hated the infirmary. He hated the bright lights, he hated the white walls, and more than anything he hated the thousands of questions all the Apollo kids asked.

"When was the last time you shadow traveled?" Austin Lake prodded. "An hour ago," Nico said. He wondered how many times they were going to ask the same question. "Do you still feel dizzy or anything?" "You already asked me that." "I'm asking again." Nico rolled his eyes. "Yes." 

Austin looked him up and down before writing something on his clipboard. Nico couldn't stand the silence of the room with the scratching of his pen. 

"Your wrist looks swollen. Did you hurt it?" "Yes. I said that already." "We just need to be sure. You're a little delirious, we need to ask you the same thing multiple times to make sure you don't change answers."

Nico groaned. Per Austin's request, Nico stuck his arm out for him to examine his wrist. Nico thought he would either fall asleep or fade into shadow before all this was over.

"Can I just sleep?" Nico asked. "Sure, lay down." "No, in my cabin?" "You know we can't allow that."

That response earned another groan. Usually, Nico wasn't this snippy, but he was practically evaporating into mist right before Austin's eyes and the kid kept asking him questions.

"I'm pretty sure your wrist is broken, but I know you're exhausted and I'd rather you didn't fade into a puddle of shadow in front of me. So, I'm going to let you sleep and we'll deal with it when you wake up."

Nico muttered something, buried himself in the uncomfortable bedsheets of the cot, and fell asleep instantly.

Unbeknownst to him, about thirty minutes later, Jason practically ran into the infirmary.

"Jason, can I help you?" Katie asked, looking over at him confused. "Is Nico ok?" "He's fine, just resting." "What room?"

Katie chuckled and stood to lead him to the room Nico was sleeping in. Jason took a seat in the little chair in the corner and settled in. Katie left silently, giving Jason whatever privacy he needed.

Jason looked over at Nico, who was seemingly out cold. He wondered when Nico would finally start prioritizing his health over whatever missions he was on.

Nico muttered something in his sleep before curling in on himself like a dead spider. He shivered lightly, something only Jason would notice.

Jason rolled the chair forward a little so it was beside the bed. He reached for a blanket at the end of the bed and unfolded it over Nico.

Nico's hand peaked over the new blanket. His skin was transparent, giving a view of pure bone. Normally, Jason would've just checked in and left Nico to sleep. however, after seeing the bone through Nico's fading skin, he felt his stomach turn.

Jason wondered how everyone else could just brush over this. He wondered how everyone could just be ok with Nico possibly on his deathbed. Deep down, Jason knew Nico would be alright. He was always fine after his shadow adventures. 

Still, Jason couldn't bear to leave him alone. What if something bad truly did happen? What if he faded into the black of night and never was seen again? So, Jason curled up in his chair and fell asleep, close by Nico's side.

The next morning, Nico awoke alone to sunbeams on his face pouring in from the window. He would've never known Jason was even there if it wasn't for a snickering Connor Stoll walking in the door with breakfast for Nico.

"What're you giggling about?" Nico said dryly, his voice harsh with his awakening. "Your little boyfriend stayed the night with you." "He's not my boyfriend! We're just friends." "And yet you know exactly who I was talking about."

Nico's cheeks burned red and he buried his face in his hands. Despite the loving ridicule from Connor, he couldn't help but smile at the thought of Jason beside him like a sad dog. Nico ate his breakfast, glad he had someone at his side that night.

This is also on AO3:

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[silvercat-s]

Thank you for responding! I think I understand what you mean by the change of your views, since I have been following you on and off since then, I have happily witnessed your evolution here. As far as memory serves, you started off on the note of seeing Henry in not so insightfully nuanced way as you do now, and that's actually something no one can blame you for, the play did make us truly connect where Jamie Campbell Bower's empathetic defense emerged from since the beginning. Deep down, I wanted him to be redeemed too (his moments with El seemed way too genuine to be overlooked haha) but just like that you, I felt I didn't have enough evidences to point towards that direction till TFS spoilers started to drop by. But I am replying to you here to make you know that the perception which we have had it now overwritten under new Henry Creel content's light was not something to be embarrassed of. That was still you and your amazing analytical skills to have drawn what you drew with whatever limited info we were given. I understand that we are constantly growing, changing and that's a great thing, but that doesn't make your earlier reviews to be entirely wrong, they rather add beauty to its complexity which I believe we all should be proud of. It also commemorates our growth as a dedicated fan of a show which has a thing for life-changing twists for 001 of its characters. (pun obviously intended lol). Besides some of your speculations hit the bull's eyes. ( George being Henry after all) So your older blogs are still "a nice walk down memory lane" memories :))) I still admire your bravery for voicing your opinions no matter how odd one out they seemed at that time. Secondly, ( yeah I have already written so much I should be at its last para by now but still xD) I also understand the discrepancy of ship you are onboard now. And it doesn't bother me at all honestly. I actually believed in Creelarke before the play had me doubting till I decided " I will first watch the play whenever it streams on Netflix and then see for myself, what seems more canon lol" I am not like one of those toxic fans who would harass you or hold a legit grudge for changing your opinions or no longer agreeing with something rarely mutual as the matter is honestly very subjective at this point, but I appreciate the warning of ' things not being the same' you put in your response :) And lastly, (yeah finally), whenever I click on those 3 dots which would open to " view archive or block user yada yada" options, it no longer contains the Archive feature. I even tried the URL trick lol, ( yup completely not that desperate) but it would come back to this page, it's honestly like Eleven running in Nina only to return to the Rainbow Room with Henry being "Well well" haha. Hence, I hope you look into it!

You're right, I was never one of those "Henry is a heartless monster who deserved all the abuse he suffered" people, he was always my favorite character after all, and I always believed his fate could've been avoided if he had got any true help and love, and that his fondness for Eleven was genuine, but I was still wrong about him in many ways, I used to think he always had those murderous tendencies even as a kid, and I just assumed that was the direction they were taking it, it never crossed my mind they would want to subvert the evil child trope, even tho the clues were always there, I just ignored them for a lot of reasons.

TFS was a very happy surprise after the initial denial stage lol it forced me to acknowledge so much, and I'm now very glad to know the duffers actually put so much thought and care into his character and that there is still so much about him left to discover!

And don't even get me started on Jcb; that poor man was defending Henry from the very beginning, and I'm sure the play made him feel so vindicated 😅

I wouldn't say I even have any analytical skills, but thank you! I'm not really embarrassed of how I used to see Henry, because, like you said, I was doing my best with the information that we had (with some wilful blindness added to the mix), and I was having fun, in the end it's just a fictional character, you know? It's not that serious, it's not a real life issue, we should be allowed to have fun and be wrong about things, and move on.

but I'm embarrassed over how I behaved toward some of the most dedicated Henry analists. I have apologized and they have forgiven me, but it still bothers me that I did that, I could've handled that so much better

And oh god YES I'm so glad I got a least one or two things right! it saved me from feeling completely humiliated 😅 and ugh, you're almost making me regret deleting some of my posts, but I think I mostly deleted the ones where I was being a mean idiot, hopefully there's still something for you

I'm just not sure what you mean with ship discrepancy. I've never really been much of a shipper, I don't really ship anyone with Henry. I did used to ship hentty in a "well, they are canon" way, but after seeing what some of the people who watched the play said about them...they are cute still, but definitely not a one true love situation, Henry deserved someone who truly loved and stood by him, and Patty apparently wasn't that person at all, but I would still love to see the play for myself to form a better opinion on it too!

And I'm not a creelarke shipper myself, but I do understand the appeal now, and I would support anything that would bring that poor guy some happiness 🥲 so don't worry! I don't really have an issue with any ship or even have a strong opinion on it, just whatever makes our boy happy

AND I fixed it! It was the "hide blog from people without an account" setting, I had no idea it did that; it's disabled now! I'm actually very honored and surprised that you liked my posts enough to do that haha, you're very nice and insightful, I hope you come off anon someday! ❤️

[tia-amorosa]

Sunset Died - Keaton Family (18 Pics)

Most of the inhabitants lost their homes in the catastrophe, but some were lucky enough to find intact properties that were still suitable for living in. And so Marty was also able to find something for his family. And If it hadn't been for him, his wife and young son might no longer be alive.

Many things in the house had to be replaced. But the family was lucky and received generous support. Although Justine would have preferred to do without the help. "You like that, huh? I would have preferred to buy it for you myself, but instead it came here at the dirty hands of the Altos. Hh… and your dad? He can't work as an athlete anymore. His back has suffered a lot, and all because he wanted to protect us".

It's just like Justine said. Marty just wanted to protect his family. While the whole house collapsed on top of them, he threw himself over his wife, who was holding their baby as tightly as she could. The debris landed on his body and caused some damage, which is why he is still often in pain. And so he is no longer fit to be a top athlete. His body has also lost a lot of muscle mass recently. But things should get better again.

Little Kenny is now one and a half years old and is developing very well. Even if his diet so far only consists of vegetables and fruit porridge. "Hey, are you ready?"/ "mhmh…".

The family is not alone, they have a little roommate. The little old cat had a lucky escape. His little tail had to be removed because one of the impacts had sent him flying through the air and he landed a little unhappily, breaking the little appendage. But he is coping well with his little stump. "mrrau".

There was never anything more important to Marty than fitness. He had trained for several hours every day. He had to take long breaks because his body needed to recover. From a medical point of view, he could only be helped as much as the circumstances allowed. No major surgery could be performed. But physiotherapy… "Food is ready".

Everyone took a plate and then sat down at the table. And like every time, Justine was silent for most of the meal. "Hey, the waffles aren't that bad…"/ "You know I have no problem with your cooking, Marty"/ "yeah, I know…. it's because of everything here… Hey, we're fine"/ "we're fine as long as I keep my mouth shut…you know how it is for me as a cop? ".

"hey, honey… I know you'd like to take them all to jail at once…"/ "It's not okay what they're doing here with the others. I'm only privileged because I'm in the police force and I've been made privy to everything. And yet I don't know what this is all about… they could help everyone here.".

"They're probably following some kind of perfidious plan, I don't know"/ "For sure, and I'm sure I'll figure it out at some point. I'm already glad that I can use my laptop, even when there's no internet… I was able to back up the entire archive of the station on it."/ "Welcome to the digital age…".

"I know you just want to do your job properly. But you're really doing a lot by helping the others"/ "since the whole thing happened… There's hardly any crime anymore, but… I miss this work, you know? There would be enough reasons to put them in jail. If only I had at least some kind of contact… I know they have a radio for communication, otherwise nothing would come in from the outside".

"I'm also getting tired of depriving others of something. Look around you… Unlike others, we almost live in luxury. The stove, the shower, our clothes… I'd just like to invite someone over again and not have to hide anything."/ "Surely some of them have already noticed what's going on here…". Marty held his wife's hand. "Probably, yes. I'm glad this house was still in such good condition, we didn't have to do much."

Justine got up to clear the dishes. She had a wistful expression on her face. "I would have just… Really liked to have picked out a few things myself, paid for with our own money… Instead, we live in second-hand furniture that they imported from somewhere"/"but you have to admit, our bed…it's good"/"hnhn… Yeah, sure. The weather's bad, we're staying in today. On a Sunday of all days…"....

"Hey, Kenny, are we playing airplane?"/ "hnn, yeah…"/ "I'm so proud of our little one. Luckily he didn't get hurt"/ "he had a double Protection shield right away…I wish we had gone on this trip. But you didn't want to because he was still too little"/ "I regret it a bit too…I'm going to do some work on the PC now".

When Justine became pregnant, it was a bit of a shock at first. After all, they actually wanted to enjoy life together for a little while longer and, above all, work on their careers. But the closer they got to the due date, the more they looked forward to their first son together. If they had lost him, they would probably have lost themselves too.

Even if the Internet is not available at the moment, there is still plenty for Justine to do. Sorting through folders, looking at open cases and processing them if necessary. But the last major incident was some time ago. "VJ took a few things without asking… . Honestly? I would probably have done the same if I'd lost everything and I was really hungry.

Nothing passes you by without a trace when you're doing everything you can to keep your family safe… The bruises have long since faded, but the scars caused by the falling debris and sharp edges will probably last a lifetime. "I'll do some careful training. At least the arms and shoulders… My beautiful muscles, all gone…".

Marty is trying to get back into shape. His mind is strong, but his body is lagging behind. Although he can no longer work as a professional athlete, he can offer others a good workout. From time to time he even works as a snitch for his wife. He can be charming and friendly while also teasing information out of others.

All is well in the Keaton household for the time being. The only question is for how much longer. Justine is under pressure because she knows more than the other inhabitants. The town and national borders are cut off from the outside world. So far, no one has set out to look for survivors, except Agnes. And normally she should be back by now.

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@greenplumbboblover 😊😗