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ottiliere · 2 years

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God I absolutely love your analysis on Sasha, it’s perfectly in character while also bringing in more complexities and details that fit justtt right and it’s just so good. I love seeing people digging into his backstory bc although his memory vault was played off as a joke it’s? Pretty peculiar? And it makes you wonder what happened afterwards too- there’s so many questions left unanswered with so much potential there. Also your work is stunning! I love your use of color and shading, it makes your work so beautiful while also making the emotions feel so vivid and lively in your pieces, you also nail the expressions! I love the lineless painting look as well, it adds a unique flare! Keep up the good work :)

Thank you...!! I've been thinking about sasha passively for years and it was about time he came around to be the focus of my attention again... overall this is the magical beauty of characters who are a bit two dimensional in their source material. If they're interesting enough as a concept, you can sorta run with it and do whatever you want. Not always, but sometimes. And he's always been fascinating to me.

Regarding what happened directly after he ran away from home, the youth welfare offices (Jugendämter) of the time we're essentially in charge of where homeless youth went after being found; this was a pretty big problem following WWII due to many children being left parentless + DPs + the massive wave of expellees coming in who got separated from their parents.

Here's a general overview of the youth welfare system from a paper published in 1948 ((3) on page 43 aligns, essentially, with the concept of the Kinderheim) (x):

It should be said that even though this article describes some criticisms of the youth welfare setup at the time, overall it's quite rose-tinted in regards to how thing actually were in institutions. These places were not known for being good to the kids there. Physical/sexual/emotional abuse were extremely common, so common in fact that Germany recently held a roundtable to seek reparations for people who grew up in one due to many of them now being incredibly disabled due to what they went through (x) (x). From first link:

I don't really think he'd end up in a facility with "correctional" education, what I've noticed in my reading is that children condemned to those places were a little ODD/stereotypical juvenile delinquent and I don't think that sasha has ever really possessed the disposition to act like that... not that kids who act like this deserve to be put in horrible institutions but I'm pretty sure that goes without saying. The condition in these institutions were markedly worse than general Kinderheime (somehow), sometimes neglecting to offer basic educational services to their charges. (x)

If anything, I think he'd ask for placement himself... I've always pictured him as someone who would've been pretty respectful and obedient as a kid (neglected child not wanting to cause issues), so it kind of makes sense that he'd go by the books so to speak... find the office himself, wouldn't really steal, etc. I don't really think he'd enjoy living on the streets at ALL... the vagrant Halbstarke lifestyle is absolutely not for him. there would've been no community or sense of belonging, for him, to be found in this subculture... interesting book detailing this called Constructing and Controlling Youth in Munich by Martin Kalb btw. Check it out if you so will.

Considering that I've placed his childhood in Bavaria, a historically catholic state, it's likely that the kinderheim he would've ended up in was of Catholic denomination... HUGE amount of Kinderheime were Catholic. Don't have precise percentages but you can peruse a registry here that lists the religious denomination of every Kinderheim in Bavaria ("kath." or "ev."; on p. 78 and onward) at the time it was compiled (1948) which is a few years before I think Sasha would've ended up in one.

There's also this:

“Charitable and evangelical educational homes“ (Catholic vs. Evangelical facilities organized by year, column contents are “Heime Plätze/Betten”; home places/beds, and “Mitarbeiter”; # of staff) (x)

Some of these institutions didn't allow the children to go to school, but that wasn't very common (x). Sometimes the education was either built directly into the institution and was heavily understaffed. As an example:

Station spokesman: From a letter from the Evangelical Lutheran Deanery in Regensburg to the National Association for Inner Mission in January 1950

"There are currently 75 children in the Castle Windsor children's home, including 70 school-age children. These 70 children are still being taught by just one teacher in the elementary school connected to the home. Such a mismatch places a disproportionately high strain on the teacher, who has to teach in two sections, morning and afternoon. Despite this, the children in the middle and upper grades receive too little instruction. Each department only has 3-4 hours of instruction per day. " (deu)

I should reiterate that Bavaria is extremely catholic and loved beating children. In fact, when corporal punishment at elementary schools was banned in 1946, Bavarian parents were outraged because what if they wanted teachers to beat their children. Did you ever think of that? And then when they overturned the ban a year later 61% of the population was glad about it. Just to give you some historical context. And also to help you think about sasha's Volksschule experiences. I don't think he would've been doing anything egregious to solicit physical abuse (e.g., being disrespectful toward teachers or not paying attention/never doing his work), but I do think the absolutely was the "weird" kid who had visible tics and was harassed a lot by his classmates so it's possible they would've set something up to facilitate this happening. Not picturing this as a common occurrence.

Additionally, most children had to perform some form of manual labor for (essentially) free, since these institutions were so egregiously underfunded that the Kinderheime would just loan them as farmhands/quarry workers/etc., often even before the age of 14, though this point is not quite relevant to Sasha because I think he was ~15 when he ran away. (x)

One other potential outcome for Sasha is that he could've ended up in an apprentice home (Lehrlingsheim), but sources on these places are quite difficult to find... the main information I saw was that "In the state of Bavaria there are 66 homes for uprooted youth, which are mainly apprentice homes" (x). This article (from 1949) like the first one I sourced reiterates the "vagrant youth" placement system (might as well share link of relevant passages plugged into a translator for those curious). Looking at the first sourced document it seems they were mostly for older children (16+). Can't imagine the circumstances would've been much better here than a Kinderheim, but if anyone has information about these I'd love to see.

I could continue to go on but I won't because this is already quite long, but before I go I want to share this transcription from the US Senate committee on foreign relations in 1950 because... I enjoyed reading it I thought it was interesting and I want to share. sue me!

(source)

It's quite hard to find sources on this in english, but here's several articles for you to peruse with google translate. I looked at countless more but those are kind of lost to the ether of my web history + these are the only ones I saved. Easy enough to find if you key in some combination of "kinderheim 1950er nachkriegszeit" and jump around.

https://www.stuttgarter-zeitung.de/inhalt.kinderheime-in-der-nachkriegszeit-pruegel-bis-die-seele-bricht.c3d5ed02-68bf-42e3-a6a1-84bb7b586e14.html

https://12ft.io/proxy?q=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.waz.de%2Fstaedte%2Fessen%2Ffrueheres-heimkind-dort-hat-man-uns-die-jugend-geraubt-id214824101.html%3Fservice%3Damp

https://www.br.de/radio/bayern2/sendungen/zeit-fuer-bayern/bayerische-heimkinder-nachkriegszeit-100.html

https://amp.focus.de/familie/erziehung/albtraum-kinderverschickung-wie-kinder-in-erholungsheimen-gequaelt-wurden_id_11460755.html

https://amp.dw.com/de/das-verdr%C3%A4ngte-leid/a-6323736

https://www.wkgo.de/cms/article/print/164

https://www.welt.de/politik/deutschland/article5239904/Die-Gewaltherrschaft-in-deutschen-Kinderheimen.html

https://www.welt.de/welt_print/article2795104/Die-unbarmherzigen-Erzieher-der-Nachkriegszeit.html

https://www.evangelisch.de/inhalte/150261/25-06-2018/die-evangelische-kirche-ekhn-hat-die-geschichte-der-heimkinder-der-nachkriegszeit-aufgearbeitet

#ask #sasha nein #psychonauts #I miss writing essays while riding the bus when did I stop doing this #thank you for the lovely ask... this was actually the very 1st ask I had gotten about Sasha before we launched askblog and I was so excited #had to go digging in my google drive for all the pdfs I've been saving for months like bringing out the fancy china #if you ask him questions abot this on the askblog btw he might not be forthcoming about it. but its real to him and me and us and the world #same with other similarly personal questions. but feel free to ask him anyway it'll make him uncomfortable and it'll be funny

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cavehags · 1 year

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I don’t understand why you’re a Ted lasso blog if you hate the show so much???

i dispute both parts of this question! i definitely don't consider myself a ted lasso blog (am i????). but also, i think it should be apparent from how much i have been posting about it that i really like the show! that's why I've found the downturn in writing quality this season so discouraging. season 1 of this show was GREAT and i miss the depth of the characters and maturity of writing that we were seeing then. but i still maintain that roy and rebecca are fantastic characters, and keeley is quite subversive, and i love watching even the more minor characters that populate the world like sam and trent and beard and jamie. i was drawn to this show on the basis that it was a smart show about divorce and it had a hot jewish guy (thanks @grendelsmilf for speaking my language) and i got so much more invested in it than i think anyone could have predicted. s3 has fascinated me as a case study of what can happen to a show when it gets so popular that the creators get too in their heads - much like schitt's creek's final season, just on a way bigger scale. i've been posting about it because digging into its mistakes is as interesting to me as digging into its successes. if it's bumming you out, you can always blacklist my soccer show posting tag or unfollow 🤷‍♂️

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aquadestinyswriting · 10 months

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[Eleanor pops into view.] Selene, for reasons I don't entirely understand, I feel compelled to ask you this: from one scholar intent on exploring the mysteries of the universe to another, how do you deal with overly cautious traveling companions? Or perhaps putting it another way, how do you convince your overly cautious traveling companions to trust your judgment now and then, rather than resort to using magic—newfound or not—to stop you from experimenting with those fascinating new artifacts you've stumbled across? You know your companion means well and cares about you, but sometimes, you just need to convince them to trust your judgment, right? Or at the very least stop giving you that look every time you even remotely consider satisfying your curiosity about those mysterious ruins. You know the one, I'm sure—the look, I mean. In any case, eagerly awaiting your wisdom and insight!

*Checks to make sure Edwin is distracted by the girls* Hi Eleanor, apologies for the time it took to answer this, there's been some sort of lurgy doing the rounds over here at the moment. Don't worry, I'm fine now.

That is quite the question. I do empathise about the overly cautious travelling companions, it seems Edwin's time spent in Fangthane has made him incredibly cautious about a great many things to do with arcane magic. I mean, it's somewhat understandable, but it's so frustrating. Then you have the bint of a bird I call a familiar constantly getting on my case either in my ear or in my head. However, with Chrackle, he at least can be easily distracted or directed to go do something else. Edwin however...

I've found that reminding Edwin that I was trained by one of the greatest wizards of his age for at least a decade and a half often works. Yastromo, while an incredibly powerful wizard up until his passing, was a man who impressed upon me how dangerous magic can be if used improperly and I took those lessons to heart.

Chrackle: *fluttering onto Selene's shoulder* You forget that Yasty took on because you shocked yourself trying to cast cantrip that one time?

Selene: *glaring at him* I was a child and untrained at the time! Now hush!

*clears throat* Anyway, during our most recent adventure, Edwin was, honestly quite rightly, a lot more cautious; so when it came to finding those fascinating new fields of study we discovered along the way, it was incredibly difficult to persuade him to allow me the chance to really dig into the arcane side of things at the time. The only way I found to get around that without resorting to using magic was to remind him of the thing I said earlier and if that didn't work, then I would either get Chrackle to grab whatever it was that was so interesting if it was small enough, or if it was too big, simply acquiesce then insist we come back to pick it up later. Unfortunately, Edwin can be incredibly persuasive when he wants to be, and he knows damn well that I can't say no when he looks at me a certain way.

As for experimenting with those artefacts that he does let me pick up? I just wait until he's asleep. Unfortunately that only works if your companion is as deep a sleeper as Edwin often is when he's on the road. If your own companion is a lighter sleeper, then I've found that explaining every precaution that needs to be taken, then implementing it in front of them, tends to work wonders. A lot of the excess caution comes from not fully understanding how the magic works to begin with and then being afraid of any potential negative consequences that can come from experimentation of anything unusual. Explaining what the potential risks are and then doing everything in your power to mitigate them (depending on the level of said risks) often makes those watching relax at least enough for you to tinker and experiment to a limited degree. However, I admit that this will only work if the risks can be mitigated. If not, then I usually have to call it quits and let it go until I can get other wizards to come with me to check the place or artefact out.

I hope that at least some of that was helpful. Unfortunately as I've never met your companion, I can only offer limited advice based on my own experiences with Edwin. I do wish you the best of luck with whatever it is you wish to research, and if you do manage to convince your companion to allow you to, I'd love to hear about it.

#muse monday #writeblr community #answered ask #titan fighting fantasy #selene frigidwake #chrackle

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hannahlacey · 6 months

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Culinary Design + Food Branding: Research LO1

Week 3

love the character within these images- gives a level of context to the audience to perceive the object as part of this oriental/ floral layout- scenery matters

the packaging in itself reflects the surroundings, having lots of playfulness- creating intriguing, story-telling narratives.

"I'm usually approached to create product-driven imagery where the object is placed into a highly imaginative environment and is manipulated in 3D,"

"It's something I've long been fascinated by, and I use these objects as a tool for storytelling, whether that's around mundane pantry staples or by using ultra-luxury objects in a surreal or ironic way. I love introducing humour and a hint of subversion into my work."

the glow replicates the warm, comforting feeling elicited from a fresh loaf of bread

captures the essence and taste in a tactical way

"Bread has a completely different 'expression' depending on various factors such as temperature, humidity, yeast condition, and the baker. As I learned more about bread, I became more and more fascinated with it."

"It perfectly described the 'charm of bread' that I was looking for."

lights up the experience of eating

encapsulates identity of culture within patterns and tableware

embracing the Mediterranean essence of 'La Dolce Vita/The Good Life' and the stories surrounding producers, dedication to quality and culinary adventures while aiming to expand its reach to a broader audience and attract a younger demographic.

showcases Italy's producers and rich culinary heritage, echoing the bold and ornate lettering found on packaging and signage across Italy

restaurant project replicates/ re-creates Chinese 90's nostalgia, literary movements, and history.

“I was interested in subverting these traditional elements and reimagining them in a modern context,” says Jingqi. “I decided to take on a more inquisitive approach to understand how certain Chinese cultural traditions shaped the visual landscape of both the past and present.”

whimsical in design, every colour and design is representative of something ti do with Chinese culture and heritage

brilliant use of imagining these attributes in action, designing sets and rooms- every last detail has been considered.

Through looking at these kinds of projects, I am really inspired by the different ways they have been able to create narrative, metaphorical meaning, and identity through their designs. Each design choice is playful and intriguing, which really aligns with the vision i had for my first idea.

This art-board I created made me see all of the different things i could create when presenting this concept.

photography of real life designs

mockups of products within surreal 3D design

food photography

menus, signage and brand assets

#research #fmp #lo1 #lo2 #vc0664

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youhearstatic · 6 years

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META Pt 2 - LUCRETIA AND THE RED ROBES:

(For the first three times Lucretia talks about the red robes see Pt 1.)

EPISODE 51 - Start of The Suffering Game. The director brings the boys in, about to send them off to Wonderland. Magnus is still grappling with finding out he’s a red robe at the end of The Eleventh Hour. We get this right before Magnus decides he’s busting into the brig to talk to Robbie/Pringles:

Magnus: I… I need to ask… I’ve been thinking about it, it’s been a while since I’ve been able to talk to you. I feel like if there are other participants in the maze we run the risk of running into more Red Robes.

The Director: I find that unlikely. The Red Robes obviously, to my surprise, are still in operation, but there cannot be that many of them.

Magnus: But if we do run into one, what, is there anything the Bureau knows about them? Anything you can tell us?

The Director: They are extremely dangerous. They cannot be trusted. If you see one, report it to me over your Stone of Far Speech immediately. And just run away, you are not ready. Don’t listen to a word they say, they will lie to you to get you to do whatever they want, but their purposes are evil, Magnus, they are- they are beings of pure, concentrated evil.

Magnus: But how do you know?

The Director: I - I’ve had my fair share of run-ins with the Red Robes.

Magnus: And they’ve all been evil?

The Director: Invariably. Any other questions?

[snorting and giggles from Justin/Taako and Clint/Merle]

(I include that last line cause HA jokes on you two, too! You’re ALSO red robes of evil!)

Okay so. Lucretia obviously still has the party line to tow. She can’t be all, “Actually, they aren’t so bad, we just had a difference of opinion so I essentially roofied them all and stuck them in new lives while I handle shit Lucretia-Style... which turned out to also be bad so here we are with you three.”

But let’s break that down further. Starting with:

A.) “...there cannot be that many of them.”

So obviously she can account for five of the seven of them. As mentioned above, as of most of the way through Crystal Kingdom she knows Barry is alone. But even if he’s since found Lup, there’s still only two.

I think Lucretia expects it’s just Barry, though. But the umbra staff being with Taako could mean Lup resurfaced and found Barry. POSSIBLY. (Also, I could make an argument that Lucretia saw the umbrella and figured out that’s where Lup was at some point between Taako showing up with it and Taako breaking it but that’s a-whole-nother post. Short answer: There were a LOT of smart people on that ship who should have worked that one out in the time they were searching for Lup. They can be forgiven because they hadn’t found the umbrella at that point either. But Lucretia... ANYWAY.)

B.) “They are extremely dangerous.”

Well, I guess if you read this as “dangerous to Lucretia’s plans and the boys staying unaware of their own histories” then we have to rate this as true.

If you mean dangerous as in “a threat to your health and well being” then we have to say: Eh? True and false? Like, it’s not great for mental well being to have the rug pulled out from under you in regards to a hundred years of your life and your family that you forgot.

But... Even if this is Barry and Lup together, they aren’t going to HURT them. I mean even if Lucretia believes the absolute worst of Barry and Lup she’d still never think they would HURT Taako, Magnus, or Merle.

C.) “They cannot be trusted.”

Now this right here... this is the statement that made me want to write this entire post.

Let’s put ourselves in Lucretia’s shoes here. You’ve done this thing. You’re at the end of the whole deal. The end is in sight. At this point, you’re probably spinning a lot of plates, juggling a lot of knives, keeping a lot of balls in the air, whatever metaphor you like. SO to that we can say this was just words flowing out of her mouth trying to keep things going.

And Lucretia is scared! She knows Wonderland is a bad, bad place. She knows that not only could this mean the end of the relic gathering, this could mean losing Taako, Magnus, and Merle. So there’s a lot on the line here and it’s understandable if she’s verbally scrambling.

But she’s saying this to Magnus who has - unknown to her - learned he’s a red robe. THEN SHE DOUBLES DOWN ON IT! She says:

D.) “they will lie to you to get you to do whatever they want, but their purposes are evil, Magnus, they are- they are beings of pure, concentrated evil.”

So when he follows up with a question asking if all red robes are evil her response is, I think, seriously crucial. Because she answers: “Invariably.”

I think that answer is why Magnus decides he’s gonna talk to Robbie/Pringles. He knows something is up for her to make that blanket statement because even if he can’t explain how he was involved, he knows there is missing information. And he knows he’s not getting it from her.

I think that word right there: “invariably” is what sets up Magnus to trust the red robe in Wonderland. He MIGHT have trusted him based on the fact that he (Magnus) found out he’d been one. He MIGHT have relied on the red robe based on the fact that Wonderland sucked. They needed help.

But I think if she’d given him a different answer? If she’d said something about some of the red robes might have believed they had good intentions or SOME kind of answer that would have allowed Magnus to believe there was room for his history to have included being a red robe? I think Wonderland might have gone differently.

The red robe (okay, lemme just call him Barry at this point) had tried again and again to prove he was trustworthy. He’d saved them from Captain Bane. He’d tried to give them hints along the way with the patches and the explanation about the planar system. He’d worried for their safety in Refuge and told them he was proud of them. He’d hung on through so much - seeing them in Phandolin, realizing Taako had Lup’s umbrella, being told by three of the people he’s closest to the in the world that NO WAY DID THEY TRUST HIM. He’d saved Merle’s kids! He’d been worried about Taako on a freaking date with a reaper! (This one I’m willing to debate. It COULD be taken that Kravitz suddenly sensed Lup in the umbrella but he’d been around Taako with the umbrella for an extended period of time so it seems weird he should suddenly sense a lich and even weirder that, when handed the umbrella he’d say “nope, not this.” So I think all signs point to Barry being around and Lup reacting and trying to protect him. But if you want to say Kravitz sensed Lup ‘surging’ in power or something I guess that’s a valid take as well.)

But I list all those things to say: He’d gone through all that and done so much to try and help them, try and let them know, and they’d misunderstood, misremembered, or simply ignored it. They absolutely forgot he saved them from Captain Bane, no question there.

So Lucretia had done her groundwork well. Even if they had suspicions, they did trust her, they did fall on her side.

She lost Magnus with that word “invariably” though. It led him to kidnapping the guards and trusting Barry and being on Barry’s side and saying: “Uh. Listen, uh, Taako, Merle, I know that’s a little weird, and you’re just gonna have to trust me on this one: He’s with us. I think. More or less.”

And we all know how it plays out. But let’s stop on one more moment. Because then, in Episode 67 you have what I just refer to as “that scene”

Griffin: What do you do?

Justin: I pull out the Umbra Staff and I point it at Lucretia.

Griffin: Um, she’s just kind of staring you down-

Taako: [voice cracking] Ten. Nine.

Griffin: She says,

Lucretia: Taako, I know you’re upset—

Taako: Eight.

Travis: I pull the Flaming Raging Poisoning Sword of Doom and point it at her.

Lucretia: Listen -

Taako: Seven.

Lucretia: Please listen to me, please.

Taako: Six.

Lucretia: Please stop— okay.

Clint: I look at the other two and say,

Merle: What the hell are you doing?

Taako: Five.

Magnus: The chance to explain yourself was… mmm about a dozen memories ago.

Taako: And honestly, 7 seconds ago, I’m doing this cool countdown. [shouting] You fucking took everything from me!

Lucretia: I know that things went wrong, I know I shouldn’t have kept you all in the dark for as long as I did. I swear, I had no idea how arduous a task this was gonna be, I know I have a lot for atone for. But please, just— I’m begging you let me finish this and then we can talk about it.

Taako: [defeatedly] …Fine.

Merle: [slight hysterical laugh] What are you finishing?

I bring this up because even after everything they learned when they got their Stolen Century memories back... This is how it breaks down: Taako is furious because she took his memories of his sister. Merle is confused. And Magnus steps up to second Taako. (AND I WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT: Travis’s voice breaks when he says he pulls out the sword.)

And I think a portion of that? Still comes back to that word “invariably.” Because Magnus believes himself to be a good man and - albeit indirectly - Lucretia told him he wasn’t.

#lucretia #magnus #red robe #long post #i apologize for how incredibly long this is! i broke it into two part and the parts are still super long!#it might be that no one else is interested in this!#but i've really been digging into this and found it fascinating to consider #if i've missed something or drawn weird conclusions please speak up #taz balance #also like #SPOILERS #like so many spoilers #taz balance meta

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echojulietfoxtrot · 3 years

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Station Eleven Post Finale Additional Info, Trivia, & Interview Highlights.

I've been listening to a bunch of interviews with the showrunner, producer and cast, notably a Twitter Spaces recording and an ATX Zoom interview with the cast.

Some highlights, from memory, are under the cut, including stuff about scenes that were deleted, some Word of God rulings on some debated stuff, and a few details about the significance of one thing or another. I've also thrown some random observations at the end.

I want to flag here separately though that they mentioned there are a decent number of cut scenes they may make available some day if there is an appetite, so go make noise if you want 'em

You can listen to both the interviews mentioned above here:

https://mobile.twitter.com/hbomax/status/1482081652566159360

https://youtu.be/33PovHwIXGc

This is a bit of a mish mash of stuff I found interesting from interviews generally though - so it won't all be in those two but if anyone asks I can probably dig up where I heard it.

Spoilers everywhere!

- Frank’s kid Key is named indirectly in Kirsten's honor, he's named after the literal key she didn't have the night of the play. Patrick Somerville saw Himesh and Mackenzie shoot the last scene and was fascinated by how Jeevan seemed hung up on Kirsten's key as a little detail that everything hinged on.

- Somerville says Tyler remains morally culpable for the things he has done, and that the Undersea are likely to remain dangerous for good, just by their nature as a group. The scene of Tyler and the mass of children is not intended to be a redemption, he should not be considered "clean" or harmless now, and he doesn't get a pass just because he's made peace with his mom. Somerville believes the Undersea are likely to become some kind of corrupt formal church over time, not ease into harmlessness.

So the point of these shots is not to depict the Undersea as anything positive, but to show the sheer scale of the disaster Kirsten has managed to avert. By figuring out how to engage with both Tyler and Haley and defuse them, Kirsten prevented the order the Undersea were waiting on from coming, turned back an army that could not have repelled by force, and stopped a catastrophe for both sides. And like a great beast deciding not to strike after all, the Undersea moves on.

There were additional deleted scenes with Haley (the kid who instigated the suicide bombings) which would have outlined this plot a little more clearly, but the takeaway is intended to be that Kirsten probably saved thousands of lives that night and at least bought everyone a *chance* to put themselves back together personally.

I have to admit this didn't really come across fully to me in how the show portrays it, but I find it really interesting because it means Kirsten has once again unknowingly followed in Miranda's footsteps, saving Severn City by figuring out how to reach someone, or at least some part of them that will respond.

- An early version of the reunion had Jeevan see Kirsten onstage performing, but they came to prefer the idea that Kirsten and Jeevan had that moment only between themselves, and she would be Director by then anyway. It also makes the yellow poster fakeout and then "distraction" of Deborah Cox's performance work; they wanted the audience to notice Jeevan just as incidentally as Kirsten does (notice too though that if she'd chased the book out of habit she'd have missed him - instead she's able to let it go with somebody who might benefit from it now in turn)

- In the scene where Kirsten tells Jeevan he walked her home, she makes a point to look to the Travelling Symphony; they are her home, and Jeevan got to her to them. This was Davis' idea on set and Somerville only realized the point she was making later and loved it. Kirsten's last little extra "Bye!" was also improvised in one of the takes, and he kept it because it felt like it showed that Kirsten has an innocence now that she’s never really been able to afford before. We are to infer that they both stayed up the whole night talking and catching up, and that they do fully expect to see each other again.

- They were asked about stuff that didn't make it in but that they kinda consider canon in their heads, and they mentioned there are a decent number of cut scenes they may make available some day if there is an appetite, so go make noise if you want 'em.

* There are a bunch of deleted Miranda scenes in particular, including a whole subplot about being sent to live with her aunt after Hurricane Hugo, and seeing Doctor Eleven for the first time.

* There was also a scene written but unshot where Little Kirsten encountered a "family" who seemed like they'd take care of her like Jeevan did; but they turned out to be Red Bandanas and she had to kill them to get away. This meant she had to unlearn a lot of the instincts towards trust she had learned from Jeevan, and the showrunner's tone made it sound to me like he's trying to diplomatically suggest they were paedophiles. This encounter is still sort of canon because Kirsten has lines later that allude to it ("I used to be dangerous") and refers to killing Red Bandanas when talking to Gil, but they decided it wasn't necessary to show because all the important stuff is already clear. I kind of agree, but think it would have made it much easier for a lot of people to understand why Kirsten's instincts are so finely tuned to the fact "David" is a potential threat when everyone else seems oblivious.

* There were further scenes with Haley, as noted above.

* There is also a promo shot that seems to be taken from a scene of Kirsten and Jeevan apparently playing catch in the apartment that we never see -

- Kirsten has a stomach wound when Sarah first meets her in Year 2; she's been cut or stabbed, presumably from a different incident to the one above (she's pressing down on this wound to manage it in the photo below)

- Lori Petty's glasses are Lori Petty's real glasses. She has Macular Degeneration, so like Dieter says, they're a very specific prescription that's not really replaceable post apoc. Not wearing them will damage her eyes over time, but she offered to go without the whole shoot - Somerville said absolutely not and wrote them in instead. But this is an interesting implied dimension to the Conductor; that she is gradually going blind, and why it's such a big deal that her glasses break. Petty sent in an apparently amazing self tape and did a chemistry test with Davis.

- Tyler does not know Alex is Rose's Alexandria when they're talking on the dock, though he may have worked it out over the course of events.

- Kirsten's calling towards directing (and imho in a sense, a more positive and healthy form of storytelling than Tyler’s) was always there, the moment in the airport is just her recognition and stepping up to it. Her aptitude and inclination towards it is hinted at early on by the play in the apartment, and how she naturally coaches and leads the other actors throughout.

Some Of My Own Observations:

- Per the hair and wardrobe folks, Kirsten's post pan braid is meant to emulate the point of her knives. She keeps herself honed, wary, and ready to strike if she needs to. Her looser, freer hairstyle at the end comes hand in hand with being able to move beyond that. Her costuming, they also say, is associated with the colour red, the colour of danger, and they tried to reserve it for her to some extent. If you look very closely, you can see some elements of what adult Kirsten wears that she's had since she was a child, most obviously the white and red cap which she uses to try to disguise Tyler when they're found by Miles. By contrast, the Airport is associated with clinical light blues and greys, and muted tones. Characters associated or under the influence of one or the other take on aspects of these colours, including Tyler. The stage makeup the troupe use is actually based on what stuff they could conceivably make themselves from the resources they'd have available.

- Kirsten's final outfit appears to have a utility pouch either made from part of one of the Conductor's shirts where her knife harness used to be, or meant to resemble it:

- Similarly, Jeevan takes on Frank’s cane and Siya's profession. The people they've loved and lost become part of them for the rest of their lives.

- Claudius is the villain in Hamlet. He kills Hamlet's father and deceitfully takes the crown. Clark would fully understand the implications of taking this role, and what dynamic that will generate in the play - it seems to be his own way to start making amends. He accepts it, if you will.

- The Conductor's poor health is signposted early on. When she jokes she should be made a saint, like Saint Deborah, Kirsten replies she hasn't died like she did. Sarah replies that she dies every time. She also seems to be physically exhausted even at the start of the year’s Wheel, needs Alex' help taking off her costume, and complains she's struggling to score Hamlet - in retrospect, Hamlet may not be the issue.

- Sarah's death in a sense links all three of Kirsten's surrogate parents; Sarah dies of the same thing that killed Arthur, who loved her, and looked out for her in the theatre. Like him she could not have been saved - but this time, Jeevan, present for both heart attacks, knows what he needs to do regardless.

#Station Eleven #StationEleven #Mackenzie Davis #scifi #hbomax #station11 #himesh patel #lori petty

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stardestroyer81 · 3 years

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Hi everyone! As most of my followers know (Especially if the post I made on my birthday is any indication), I'm an enormous nerd on all things arcade games. I grew up playing them by way of official compilations or plug-and-plays, but it's very rare I get to see any of my arcade favorites in person, as arcades are quite sparse in my town.

However, last night I found out about an arcade relatively close to where I live, and while I went into it with mild expectations, let me just say that the amount of fun I had and the discoveries I made were unlike anything I could have ever expected! Below, you'll find a deep dive of my experience there, what games I found, and a superstar display of arcade mastery! Let's insert a coin and jump right in!

Once I arrived, the very first arcade cabinet that caught my interest (And, by extension, saw) was the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles beat-em-up by Konami! Cartoony beat-em-ups such as this one and The Simpsons (Which they also had!) are something I've always had a fascination for, and while it was very tempting to start a game, I decided to hold off on it for the time being so that I could check out what else the arcade had in store— plus, games like this are always more fun with friends!

Just around the corner, I found a genuine Mario Bros. cabinet! This one was the first one that really surprised me, as I'd never seen one physically. I'd played a great deal of Mario Bros. ports in my time, but never the real deal, so it was really cool to finally give it a go...

... before realizing how clumsy I am at it. I'm telling you, the traction on each stage feels like Mario's going ice skating with skates he buttered beforehand— the sliding is real. While I did get pretty close in beating the high-score here, it for some reason decided not to save, but that was no big deal to me. At some point I'd love to practice and see if I can really master the art of Mario Bros.

And because this is probably the only instance I'll ever get to mention this, if you haven't seen the commercial for Mario Bros. Atari port, I'd suggest you do so, because it is nothing short of hilarious. MAAAAAA-RI-O, WHERE ARE YOU?!

I remember getting particularly hyped when I caught sight of the 'Galaxian' marquee shown here, as I'd not once ever seen a Galaxian cab, though upon closer inspection, the machine is actually an iCade 60-in-1 compilation, one I actually grew up playing at a laser tag place and have a fondness for (The menu music gives me SUCH a great deal of nostalgia)!

One such title in this compilation that I consider myself a pro player at is Super Pac-Man, and that ended up being the first game that I got REALLY into playing. I noticed upon starting the game that the high score was around forty thousand or so, but by the time I wrapped up...

I showed "YOU" who's boss (Weird, now that I look at it, that the 41,470 looks to be a default score as the stage they made it to was... well, zero)! This ended up being my all-time personal best Super Pac-Man score by just four hundred points or so, and was DEFINITELY the most exciting one yet!

When I finished with that game, I noticed that just down the hall, there were even more games, which interested me fairly quickly. I made my way down the hall and turned to the right, and sure enough, there were a whole lot more games!

And then... I saw it.

A genuine Dig Dug cabinet.

It took every last square inch of my entire being to not just start fanboying right then and there. I'd been waiting for as long as I can remember to see a Dig Dug cabinet in person, and it was SO EXCITING finally being able to play one! You'll notice in the image above that the high score was in the thirty thousand range, which I found was EASILY beatable given my expertise...

Turns out, all that practice playing Dig Dug on Jakks Pacific's plug-and-play and in Namco Museum Vol. 3 payed off! Once I began Round One, I noticed one tiny detriment to the cabinet, however- it took some major effort to even go up, which is pretty much a requirement if you even want to beat the first stage.

As I played, though (Let me tell you, this was one of my more intense Dig Dug sessions, I was making some serious plays that hinged on exact timing and choosing which enemies to pump first), the joystick seemed to loosen up, and I found it much easier to move upward as the rounds went on.

This might just be my favorite picture I took last night, too. I've always wanted my initials to be in the top spot of any genuine arcade cabinet, and for it to be Dig Dug no less was just so satisfying! Now, we wait until I scout out a Bosconian cabinet...

They also had a Ms. Pac-Man cabinet in the same row that Dig Dug was in! The version they used was particular fun, too, as it was actually Turbo Ms. Pac-Man, which is exactly what it sounds like. Weirdly, this cabinet's top score was relatively low (Around twenty-thousand, I think?) and I even remember hearing somebody my age remarking how difficult it is.

I don't know if it's just because of how well-versed I am at Ms. Pac-Man but— again— I set the high score for this, too, clocking in at 54,410! I'd played another Turbo Ms. Pac-Man a while back and remember my score being much higher, but the score I had set just proved I was on a roll!

Lastly, another cabinet I was surprised to find was Space Invaders! I recall having seen a Space Invaders cabinet many years ago at a Chuck E. Cheese north of my town, though I don't remember it having a space backdrop like this one has, which blends in with the actual game really well.

I'd only ever played Space Invaders a handful of times, though to nobody's surprise (But perhaps to everyone's amazement) I set the high score HERE, too! In the image above, the score is 910, though by the time I finished, I had upped it to 1140. Games like this and Ms. Pac-Man don't save initials for high scores, but I at least have proof on the matter that this is indeed my score!

I guess I'm a lot better at the classics that I was led to believe! The whole experience was just a blast, and I REALLY wanted to share it with you all! I definitely want to make posts like this for other arcades I visit, and you can bet that if I come across a Bosconian cabinet... THAT'S going to be one lengthy post!

#Arcade #Arcade Games #Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #Mario Bros.#Galaxian #Super Pac-Man #Dig Dug #Ms. Pac-Man #Space Invaders #High Score #Star's Arcade Adventures #Deep Dives with Star #Coolness #I AM T H E ARCADE SUPERSTAR #To think I wasn't expecting to even see an iCade 60-in-1 cabinet here. My expectations were GREATLY subverted!#Some other neat stuff I saw whilst there were a pair of N64s and a Joust cabinet!#There was also a NEO-GEO cabinet in the second room too. I intend on checking that out next time I go #When it comes to high scores... I mean business #A few years back I had the high-score on Pac-Man on a Pac-Man's Arcade Party cabinet #I specifically remember sitting down and noticing somebody had bested my top score... and what did I do?#I took back what's mine.#Don't tussle with Star... or you'll get StarDestroyed!

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caralara · 2 years

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I'm a new-ish Larrie (though an old person, RIP me) and your recent posts about Eleanor and Louis' family have been absolutely fascinating. I haven't seen it discussed much (though that might be on me), but I've always found it really interesting how Louis' music sometimes has/hints at religious themes (End of the Day much?) and wondered if Louis struggled a bit more with his sexuality or wasn't out to his entire family. Obviously that's really sensitive and personal so we'll probably (rightly) never know, but it's definitely an interesting thought to have when looking at the way Eleanor's relationship with his family has shifted over time.

Hi anon! And welcome <3 being a larrie really is a way of life haha.

It’s so interesting isn’t it?? Like I don’t take Louis or Harry to be the religious type, I mean Harry himself has said before he’s spiritual but not religious (cough the cross on his hand and around his neck is an LT and not a Christianity symbol, maybe in the sense of a dig at one of the reasons their closet exist, cough cough) and his interest in Judaism seemed to stem more from an objective interest than a subjective belief, and Louis is so deeply interested in psychology and art and queer history (RBB&SBB anyone?) that it does seem odd… but then again - I grew up deeply religious and would say I am the very opposite of it now lol.

It really could be a stand in for some type of struggles to unite who he is, how much he’s told he shouldn’t be that by the world at large (music industry & pr advisors), and where he comes from.

I sometimes feel like people forget he grew up in a small town in the north of England, in the early 2000s… like, he was a footie player and musical actor at school and evidently had beef with people who then called him homophobic slurs, I don’t think he was the out and proud gay boy some people like to paint him as (considering how viciously Stan likes and liked to defend his heterosexuality online lol).

I’d say I grew up with very liberal and progressive parents, and still I struggle with my sexuality at times, simply because of how the world and society is in which I grew up.

Of course we’ll always only be able to speculate and should be super considerate and careful when we do, but you do raise an incredibly interesting point!

#anon #Louis and religion #Louis #religion #sexuality

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reallybadfeeling · 3 years

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My Obikin Playlist Masterpost Part 2

Not that anybody was really waiting for this, but here is the second part of the playlist with an explanation for each song. If you are interested in reading my rant on the first 20 songs, you can check the post I made last week HERE.

Without further ado, I'll leave you to my rant for songs 21 to 40.

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❧ One in a Million - Midnight to Monaco

Tears fall like acid rain and it burns me through the skin It's taken everything from me, I've lost my innocence The bats brings the night today, watch them turn the sky to black Like a gun that fires that sound again Frightens me until the bitter end I can't keep holding on And I hide away I need it to keep me from breaking down And I'm under Baby I can't carry on, dead and I've been buried on Baby, I was one in a million Even if our love was strong, take me down and let it fall Baby, I was one in a million And I was holding, burning, waking, turning Tasting blood and losing time I want to get a hold of myself Baby, I was one in a million [...] And I need it to keep me from thinking I won't find my wings no more

This entire song is about how someone's life gets absolutely destroyed by drug abuse. Or at least, that's how I always interpreted this. But drug abuse always makes me think about any kind of obsessions doing exactly the same thing. So I love this song for Anakin in particular. That "I was one in a million" giving me this "Chosen One" vibe. Like he got lost on the way to what he was supposed to be, and now that he's fallen he has no clue how to get back to what he was supposed to be, that one in a million.

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❧ Losing My Religion - R.E.M.

The lengths that I will go to The distance in your eyes Oh no, I've said too much I set it up That's me in the corner That's me in the spotlight Losing my religion Trying to keep up with you And I don't know if I can do it Oh no, I've said too much I haven't said enough [...] Every whisper, of every waking hour I'm choosing my confessions Trying to keep an eye on you Like a hurt, lost and blinded fool, fool [...] Consider this the hint of the century Consider this the slip That brought me to my knees, failed

Another classic song that is in basically any ships' playlist. And it fits so much with unrequited love (or pining in general). How can I not think of Obi-Wan trying desperately to be a good Jedi while he's well aware of his feelings for Anakin?

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❧ Hurt Me - Lapsley

Can't look at you the same way, anticipatin' heartbreak And I know, and I know, and I know I'm puttin' on a brave face to meet you in the same place And I know, and I know, and I know Gotta let my mind find another space 'Cause I heard these scars never go away And now I'm runnin' out of ways to numb the pain So if you're gonna hurt Why don't you hurt me a little bit more? Just dig a little deeper Push a little harder than before [...] Like breathing underwater, what's the law and order? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know You're sitting in a corner, hiding til it's over And it shows, and it shows, and it shows Buildin' up my walls just to tear them down Tell me that it's love, force me to drown Buildin' up my walls just to tear them down Tell me that it's love And I thought you said you still loved me [...] And I'm counting down the seconds that we have I can see the end in sight, at last So if you're gonna hurt me Why don't you hurt me a little bit more?

This entire song makes me think of one of those situations where both of them are pining and convinced that the other is about to tell them something that would end up breaking their heart. Basically first half is Obi-Wan knowing from the start that they won't work, maybe because he thinks Anakin is in love with Padmé and that's what Anakin wants to talk about; second half is Anakin, sure that Obi-Wan would deny having feelings for him because of how much he loves being a Jedi so he tries to be a better Jedi for the sake of Obi-Wan. Because I love the trope of both of them being too oblivious to realize they are in love.

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❧ The Shelter of My Love - Astropol

When you have nothing to lose No one dear and no one to care for Non one sees you but I do I'll take you in I won't let you go Oh the middle of the night Black as tar and eager to hold you Just as pretty as my love Just as hungry Just as eternal [...] When you have no bridge to burn No place to go, no place to return to No one loves you like I do I love you [...] When you have nothing to lose And nightfall comes, eager to hold you No one loves you like I do I love you I love you, I love you Oh shelter of my faith All the peril, all the weight Mighty glorious The shelter of my faith Oh shelter of my trust All the longing, all the lust God will help you if you lost the shelter of my trust

I'm perfectly aware that this is a song about faith. It's basically like a call to pray because even when you are lost the one person that will always be there for you is God. BUT, this actually works pretty well for the Jedi Order too. And if we think of how Anakin joined the Jedi, how he felt like the only thing he would lose is his mother, it kinda makes sense with these lyrics. And even Obi-Wan: he was given to the Jedi when he was so young that that's the only life he knows. At the same time, it can be about Anakin and Obi-Wan finding that solace in each other too, because sure, the entire Order is there to support them. But it's almost like it's their last option to them, because when in need the first person they go to is the other.

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❧ The Night We Met - Lord Huron

I am not the only traveler Who has not repaid his debt I've been searching for a trail to follow again Take me back to the night we met And then I can tell myself What the hell I'm supposed to do And then I can tell myself Not to ride along with you I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Oh, take me back to the night we met When the night was full of terrors And your eyes were filled with tears When you had not touched me yet Oh, take me back to the night we met

You should know me by now. If a song that is basically perfect for Obi-Wan post RotS, I'm gonna find it. And this one is just PERFECT! Like, Obi-Wan absolutely feels like he owes something to the universe because he is the one who failed Anakin, who allowed him to fall. So I imagine him wanting a do-over, a chance to stay away from Anakin so that Anakin can be better and his own heart can't be broken in such a terrible way. Basically, this is also perfect for a time traveler Obi-Wan trying to fix things from day 1.

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❧ Danger - JKAY feat Shola Ama

I'm a million reasons in And I'm going out on a limb But I can't, no I can't deny Cause I, I fell in love with danger And I think I found a stranger in you The boy that I knew, left me torn into two And I don't know what to do

Nothing fancy about this one, just Obi-Wan realizing there is a wild side to the cute, totally unable to flirt young teenager he took care of for so long. Basically something to write smut on. You all know you need these kind of songs too. (And I picked the acoustic version because it gives me more soft love-making vibes, but the original one is perfect for a more passionate kind of mood).

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❧ Amandoti - Giovanni Lindo Ferretti

Loving you makes me weary, guts my insides (It’s) Something that feels like laughing in tears Loving you makes me weary, it makes me sorrowful What can you do (about it), that’s life That’s life, my (life) [...] Loving you comforts my sleepless nights It’s something that replaces old dead flames Loving you comforts me, it gives me joy What can you do (about it), that’s life But (that) life is my life Love me once more, do it softly One year, one month, one hour (Do it) Hopelessly Love me once more, do it softly Just for an hour But let it be forever

I was forced to put the live version from the original composer in the playlist, but a couple of weeks ago I posted a link to Maneskin's cover of this song (which, isn't on Spotify). You can check it out HERE, with a full translation of the lyrics (yes, Italian songs will always be a thing for this playlist, get over it). Like I said in the tags of that post, this is just another one of those songs that give me post RotS Obi-Wan feels. Just him all alone and heartbroken wishing he could feel Anakin's love just once more. Simply perfection.

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❧ Lemon Eyes - Meg Myers

Hush now baby, there's no need to cry Let me wipe away those lemon eyes All your worries, such a waste of time You can't even see how much you're mine You're so bitter, bitter, bitter, yellow Settle, settle, got to settle down, okay Listen, listen, you listen, yellow It's a killer, a killer, a killer jealousy Lemon eyes, you're mine Yellow eyes, all mine I bet you wanna walk away, run away, look away, turn away Honey you can't hide Lemon eyes, all mine

Do I even have to explain this? It's basically perfect for all of Anakin's issues with jealousy, but with what yellow eyes mean in this fandom it could absolutely be about Sith!Anakin. It's just such a fitting song for these two, with Obi-Wan trying to reason with a very unreasonable Anakin... (And I might have anonymously suggested to someone to listen to it as a good song for their fic. *coff coff* @tennessoui *coff coff*)

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❧ 10 Years - Daði Freyr

We've been together for a decade now Still everyday I'm lovin' you more If I could do it all again I'd probably do it all the same as before I don't wanna know what would've happened If I never had had your love I didn't became myself before I met you I don't wanna know what would've happened If I never had felt you love Everything about you, I like We started out so fast Now we can take it slower Love takes some time Takes a little time, so take a litte time As it ages like wine [...] And just when I thought that my heart was full I found place that I never explored You're so fascinating And I can't remember the last time I was bored [...] How does it keep getting better? Everyday our love finds a new way to grow The time we spend together Simply feels good We got a good thing going

How could I not put this song in this playlist? Like, it can literally be about how in the many years together, their love for each other grew and grew, and changed to get better with time. But it can also be just Anakin and Obi-Wan in an established relationship, since this is technically a song about a ten years anniversary. I just LOVE IT. It's super sweet and we all need fluff sometimes.

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❧ Different Kind Of Love - Kid Runner

It was always you there Dancing towards me Grabbing both my hands like Here we go, here we go again Maybe it was destiny We were so familiar But you caught me staring And I don't know, I don't know, I guess [...] And when you're near me I can't help but be under your spell Can I make you believe you're the only one I need? [...] It must've been something A switch in my brain It kept me in motion It drove me insane It must've been something Something you said You're pulling me under Holding me close Inside my head Oh, it's a different kind of love And when I see your face I know, I know You got me going Oh, and this could be enough I'm dreaming wide awake I know, I know

Classic friends to lovers AU song that works wonders with Anakin's kind of love, all obsessive and stuff. Definitely can picture teen Anakin pining over Obi-Wan to the tune of this, all awkward boners at absolutely inappropriate times and Obi-Wan never truly pointing it out, because he doesn't want to make Anakin even more uncomfortable.

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❧ Ruthless - GIRLI

Home? What's that? I got a doll's house with a few cracks Grew too tall, now I'm poking out the attic My feet are in the basement 'cause I never wanna hack it Life, what's that? Life, what's that? [...] Take my soul, Take me down Take me back to the beginning of this when I was still innocent Me, sorry who? I'm a kid in a grown-up suit Looking in the mirror tryna figure out who's Banging on the glass 'cause they're tryna break through Is it me? Is it you? Think it's me, wish I knew Take me, use me, screw me over Play me like I like losing Trip me, trick me, drug me Say you love me but you like cheating You're the only one to blame You made me this way Guess that's why I'm so damn Ruthless You made me, you made me You made me ruthless You made me, you made me You made me ruthless Only way to do it When you break me and I lose it Oh, you made me You made me so damn fucking ruthless [...] Yeah it's tragic All the bad bits Made me so damn ruthless No, it's not me I don't wanna be Ruthless

Being a woman, I know perfectly that this song is about how sometimes women have to grow up to be mean because of all of the abuse they go throw in their life. But I kind of see Anakin as this person that would absolutely blame everyone else for his fall to the Dark Side and this works so well! Like, the doll house is a metaphor for how the Jedi Order was supposed to be his home, but in the end he felt like he was used, like the Jedi told him they loved him just to trick him into doing whatever they wanted, basically cheating him of a simpler life with his mom. And even the looking in the mirror thing could be when he's already in the Vader suit and he doesn't know if Vader is what he was supposed to be all along or somewhere inside him there's this young innocent child trying to get out. What can I say, most of the times I have Obi-Wan feelings. But every once in a while I find something twisted enough to give me Anakin/Vader feelings too.

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❧ All or Nothing - Wild Youth

I remember when we were younger We used to stay up late We used to watch the sun go down, the sun go down Yeah at night I, I think about ya How I spent so long living without ya You're all I need, the air I breathe So hold tight, I'm coming 'Cause it's all or nothing I'm a million miles away and I feel so low I've been driving all night just to get back home to you To you See the sunrise, it's a classi break Driving down roads that I used to take with you With you Every streetlight, new horizon Start to wonder if you realise Oh, we were vain, was more than friends So hold tight, I'm coming 'Cause it's all or nothing

Okay, this is kind of perfect for a very specific kind of AU. Like, the "they used to be childhood friends, then got separated by life, but they were always meant for each other, so after meeting once by chance after years separated, they can't go back to their life, they have to stay with the other" kind of specific AU. The song might work with how the Clone Wars kept them separate too, but... yeah. It's kinda specific. Sorry not sorry.

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❧ Someone Like You - Noah Kahan feat. Joy Oladokun

Guess I'm a mess now Lost with my head down I haven't heard from you in weeks You must have left town I can't go back now And all that I have now Are those feelings I felt Knowing that no one else can bring them back out And I've been trying to find a silver lining But I can't But I can't Now that I can't hold you I wish that I had tried to Do more not to lose you Now that I can't find you Because the second you left, yeah the voice in my head screamed "What did I do?" Now you're gone and all I want is someone like you

Once again, ignoring that this is a song about a couple breaking up after one of the two cheated because this is also perfect for Anakin confessing his love for Obi-Wan as soon as he's a Knight. He was sure that would make Obi-Wan accept his love and try to get in a relationship, instead Obi-Wan panicked and asked to get sent as far away from Anakin as he could. So of course Anakin is filled with regret about his confession.

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❧ Big Boy - Charlotte Cardin

Maybe if I spell it out Big boy will take me on proper You nailed my heart to your wall You never dusted off after [...] Maybe if I'm a broken wing Big boy in my nest You nailed my heart to your wall And disposed of the rest of me With your push and shove Like what's love ain't love But it's love to me My boy is not a man yet My boy is not a man yet But boy do I love it when you kiss my neck Oh boy last night was perfect You're changing my mind Like what's mine ain't mine Be mine to be Maybe if we try again Big boy we could have it my way You nailed my heart to your wall But it was damaged anyways

Another song to write smut to, but smut with feels. Mainly Obi-Wan's, that maybe feels like Anakin played with him just so that they could sleep together, but never actually tried to put a pin on what their relationship is supposed to be after. And Obi-Wan realizes that part of the reason is that Anakin is still so young and maybe he's the one that made a mistake. Like, he's not even sure that what he feels is real, but he still keeps following what Anakin wants because what is the alternative after all?

❣🅞🅑🅘🅚🅘🅝❣

❧ Home with You - Marie Dahlstrom

Happy to be home with you Happy to wake up with you Even after all that you've benne through Happy that you feel the same Hope that I can ease the pain Happy to come by 'Cause you just give me life And I love spending time with you It's easy when I want you like that I don't regret it even if you might think That I've got Plenty other reasons in my head Plenty other questions still unsaid Nobody knows where you'll go but I'm here [...] I don't understand it all Still I will accept your flaws Just the way that you're accepting mine No, I'm not really one to judge We can laugh it off because It's just one life for you and I and I know [...] Feels so good when it's You by my side I could just stay all night I could just stay all night I love the things you do Nobody knows where we'll go but I'm here Baby, whenever you need me Baby come over, baby come over Whenever you need I will always be by your side

This song can honestly fit multiple things. It can absolutely be Obi-Wan accepting that Anakin reaches out for him only in certain situations and him always being open to it, no matter how their relationship isn't really the traditional kind of relationship (like, a friends with benefits kind of deal). But it can also be Obi-Wan and Anakin getting together when Anakin is already Vader, so Obi-Wan is slowly falling to the Dark Side too. You can also just use this as another song to write soft love making too since it's so slow and soft. Or just do whatever you want with it.

❣🅞🅑🅘🅚🅘🅝❣

❧ Hands Tied - Beatrich

You got me home sick for your arms The arms that keep me close But you just slip though my fingers Like I'm tryna catch a ghost I'd travel to the moon and back For you and all that you could say is That you didn't ask for that You'd never ask I'd travel to the moon and back For you and all that you could say is That you didn't ask for that You'd never And you stand there Looking at me with my hands tied And how foolish Foolish of me to let this one slide I'm terrified The roots are way too deep And there is no way out You just stand there Looking at me with my hands tied

Huge vibes of Anakin being mad in love with Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan pushing him away because he sees Anakin as a brother, not as a lover. And there's all kind of pining from Anakin because of the unrequited love and he tries to do crazy stuff for Obi-Wan hoping he will fall in love with him but it fails... Yeah, that's the angst that hurts in the best way! (But, you know, can totally be reversed to Obi-Wan in love with Anakin in a canon scenario with Anakin married to Padmé.)

❣🅞🅑🅘🅚🅘🅝❣

❧ Same Bed - Lola Young

I'm too quick to judge, too fast to fuck If we're lonely and I'm No good in love, 'cause the last time I ended up a little dead inside Sorry I lied, I do not want you, no Sorry my pride's a little too high To let you know I cried when you said you had to go, baby [...] (whispered) Fuck then, don't do this to me now Don't say my name when you're talking to me Don't say we're on the same page Don't look away when you walk into me I like the pain, I like the pain I'm making it hard for you to move on And be lonely 'cause I'm So good with words that the last time I broke his heart [...] I got a bit drunk yesterday evening and I Told you some things I didn't mean, oh did I? Hate it, I hate it when I get complacent I love it when you pull that face and we make mistakes Utterly wasted And wake up in the same bed In the same t-shirt I told you I loved you in The same regrets Like wearing the t-shirt I told you I love you in [...] I only like you when you're naked At least, that's what I proved to myself Can't make a fool of myself, baby God, it's so frustrating, making such a fool of myself Gotta make do with myself, baby I only like you when you're naked At least, that's what I proved to myself You make a fool of myself, baby Let's overcomplicate it, maybe just lose ourselves

Back with the complicated relationship and the angst. Can see this in a canon compliant AU with both Anakin and Obi-Wan not really wanting to admit they are in love with each other, but somehow they always end up sleeping together, and telling the other how much they love them just to regret all of it the day after. Basically making things complicated for no reason other than Obi-Wan not wanting to break the rules/his belief that he's meant for infinite sadness, but also because Anakin can't give up on this twisted love despite how much it hurts him and being petty in trying to make Obi-Wan suffer just as much.

❣🅞🅑🅘🅚🅘🅝❣

❧ Ghost - Harper

Not putting lyrics here because this entire song gives me Obi-Wan on Tatooine post-RotS vibes. Like, he's literally on the planet Anakin came from, there to protect Anakin's kids. OF COURSE he sees Anakin's "ghost". Like, he sees so much of Anakin in Luke when he grows up. And it feels kind of fitting as a punishment for Obi-Wan to be slowly going crazy because he keeps being haunted by this image of Anakin around him. Literally this line: "why you gotta make me weak to make me stronger". That's Obi-Wan trying to get over this love for Anakin and realizing that he has to mourn and suffer before he becomes stronger and able to get free from this ghost's hold. (But, you know, Anakin's ghost might even be actually Anakin, in a scenario where Anakin is actually trapped inside of Vader and trying to get free by reaching out to Obi-Wan for help.)

❣🅞🅑🅘🅚🅘🅝❣

❧ Qualcosa di Grande - Cesare Cremonini

What happened, you changed You are not the same Or are you still the one That grew up with me What happened, you ran away And with you so did my life I searched for it, I searched for it But I found it only in you There's something important between us That you can never change Not even if you want to But there's something important between us That you can never forget Not even if you want to What happened, you fell You fell too low and now you try to climb back up But it's a struggle you don't want [...] What happened, your light Your light is obscured By someone that I know And that took you away from me What happened, your star Your star eclipsed And now (I dare you to) shine from the darkness without me

Yet another song that gives me RotS feels. It's obviously a break up song, a song about regrets and struggling to move on. So of course in it I see Anakin falling to the Dark Side and Obi-Wan trying to remind him of what is between the two of them so that Anakin comes back to him. (If you want to read the complete translation, you can check it out here.)

❣🅞🅑🅘🅚🅘🅝❣

❧ Dark Side - Phoebe Ryan

At your worst, you're the best Baby I don't want another version, no Hard to love, hard to trust But don't change Don't be a better person for me 'Cuz I'm in love with your dark side I'm in love with your dark side So don't turn on the light [...] Even if it hurts, I want you heart Even at your worst, I love you hard If you wanna keep me, go too far

Another song that is more of a both!Sith AU but also something Vaderwan would work honestly. I like the twisted nature of this kind of love so much in fics. Can absolutely works with any version of Anakin or/and Obi-Wan being the bad guy in the story.

☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧

All done! All 20 new songs I added to the original playlist explained away. Like last time, I hope you find any of this entertaining or useful. If any of this inspires your creativity, don't be shy and tag me on your stuff. I'll gladly read it/watch it/enjoy it.

#obikin #obikin playlist #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #if you use any of these please tag me #i wanna see all of the content!#feel free to suggest songs if you want #i'm always happy to listen to something new #and my ask box is always open #i'm getting more and more specific because i think every au needs its own song #so yeah #there are a bunch of songs that work for specific AUs #but i'm sure out there a writer is waiting for that specific song to get out of a writer's block while writing their fic #and i wanna help them finish their fics!#also my brain sees obikin everywhere so of course i have to make you part of this disease of mine #i'll probably post part 3 next week because I have more songs to add to this playlist #finger crossed that my migraine decides to chill for a while so i can write the next post #Spotify

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peantbutter-honeycombs · 4 years

Text

Close to the Ground

Title: All In a Name

Word count: 4,204

Characters: Peter Parker, oc

Warnings: fluff? Platonic fic not romantic.

Notes: Sweet damn!!! This came out a lot longer than I intended for it to. Let me tell you. As I was writing I kept thinking of more ideas and the word count kept getting longer. I'll edit this when I have the time if I'm able, so forgive typos. There are so many typos. I'll change this when I've edited the story.

I came up with the idea years ago back when Civil War came out. But now I have time to headcanon and perfect it.

———

The little girl stared at Peter and he in turn stared back the two looked at each other as if they were deer caught in the head lights. That both sat criss cross, across from the other on May's living room sofa. Every time Peter even tried to make a move the little girl would flinch, a cold chill creeping up her spine so Peter tried to remain motionless.

While he appeared cool on the outside, inside his thoughts were spiraling out of control. What do I do!? What do I do!? Where's aunt May? One of my first real "rescues" as Spider-Man and I come home with a kid!? In the grip of silent panic his right foot beat uncontrollably against the cushion. It seemed to be the only acceptable action, as it didn't send the pipsqueak into a tizzy.

He had been doing a routine sweep of neighboring area swing through the cityscape when a scream as good as a a banshee's rent the air. Nobody screamed like that unless they were in fear for their life. It came from a darkened alley, and like a true hero he'd taken off toward it ready to take on whatever threat lied ahead. He shocked to find the alley seemingly empty though after a careful look around just to be safe he had found her. Lonely, buried beneath bags of trash, she laid out.

Peter wasn't sure what he'd been thinking back then, forty minutes ago. Scratch that, he knew damn well. The city streets were no place for child, especially one so young. It was going to be dark soon and thunder had been in the forecast for later that evening. He'd used his best judgement.

He mentally scoffed, best judgment.

Now here he sat just him and what could be more than a two-year-old. Her icy blue eyes stared directly into his soul unsure yet whether to consider him friend or foe. Her clothes were of the spring variety a season that would becoming to an end in following few weeks. They seemed kind small for her, which was saying something, stained with dirt, garbage, and other thing Peter didn't care to name. Her hair was knotted and tangled giving it a troll rat nest appearance. If he had to guess, she was brunette.

The ringing for the apartments land line went of like a school bell. The two caught off guard both flinched at the sudden noise, the little girl letting out a high pitched yelp as she did. Second ring. Peter shared a look with toddler at the other end of the couch. He needed to answer the phone, but he didn't want to trigger a panic. Third ring. She whimpers bring her knees up into her chest. Fourth ring.

"I need to answer the phone," Peter said. His words were clear and concise, carefully spoken as to not spook her. "Please, I promise that's all I'm going to do." Her icy eyes softened, not by much but enough to convince him she would allow him to get up and move across the room.

He moved in at brisk walking pace very aware of the fact that with each step he was silently being judged. Once in the kitchen her scooped up the land line and spoke into it. "Parker residence. Hey this..." he listened for a moment.

"Hey, May... I'm- I'm fine. I could really use your help though... Can it wait?" He looked over to the child now staring out the window, from the couch, with wide eyed fascination at the rain outside. "It's kind of important... Oh I see... Uh-huh... Uh-huh... But still... Uh-huh. Okay... Later? Sure... Okay... No, no I got it... okay, see you then... I love you too...bye." He hung up the phone, placing it back on it charging stand.

With a sigh he ran his hands across his face. The child immediately turned her focus back to him eyes darting up and down to discern his current emotional state. He wouldn't cuss in front of her, at least not a loud. Inside his head he was Kenny McCormick.

He gave a feeble smile to the toddler when he noticed she was watching his every move, as if she were studying him. "What am I going to do with you?" he laughed somewhat dryly. She obviously didn't like that lowering her head so only her eye and above peeked out from behind the couch's back.

Indeed what would he do with her?

........................................................................................................................................................

It seemed there was nothing he could do to make her budge. She was't interested in his action figured, books, or legos— Probably a good thing she wasn't to keen on the legos kind of a choking hazard — she ignored his funny faces and attempts to make her laugh. She just stared on, gnawing on her fingers, curled up at one end of the couch. She had moved when Peter accidentally came too close to her but he wasn't about to do that again. It would be cruel to use her spacial fears against her.

"Okay I give up," Peter declared. "You can just sit there on the couch and do nothing." He was laid out across the rug surrounded by various items he'd pulled from his room in an effort to entertain the emotionless youngling.

At Peter declaration she raised a brow, the faintest of smiles tugging at the corners of her lips. As quickly as it came it went, Peter was none the wiser.

Grrbbrggfgrr

She hadn't meant to do that, Peter could tell by the light pink pink color flushing her cheeks. Her stomach rumbles again making her squirm in her seat.

Peter raced to the kitchen. He swung open the fridge, digging past the left over takeout none of which he figured she'd like, he found a box with leftover chicken nuggets from a meal he'd made himself a few days prior. He took out the remaining seven nuggets and quickly placed them in the microwave for 49 seconds before coming back to the living room.

He sat back down, set the plate out on the coffee table in front of the child and asked.

"Are you hungry?" A lick of the lips was all he got in response. She carefully eyed the plate, focus switching from,Peter to the tenders on a loop. "It's okay, the foods fine," he tried nudging the plate a bit closer to her. "It's chicken nuggets. Do you like chicken nuggets?" She curiously dropped her head to one side eyebrows drawing together as if to ask 'what are chicken nuggets?'

"There really good," Peter coaxed taking a piece for himself to demonstrate. "It's okay, they're not poisoned or anything." He took a bite and smiled.

Hesitantly she reached an arm out but was quick to realize her arms were to short. Cautiously, carefully she slid herself off the couch cushion, eye never leaving Peter. Feet firmly on the ground she let herself relax a little. She finally took one of the nuggets off the plate and sat her little bum on the rug. She sniffed the meat then just barely touched it to her small tongue.

She cooed, kicking her legging up and down, as she'd just been hut by a stoke of lightning. Her eye dilated losing there icy sheen as she devoured the chicken nuggets. Eyes shining with new found life she looked to Peter. Clicking her feet together she held out the plate, making series of inaudible noises.

Peter bit back a laugh, "do you want some more." There was bag in the freezer, they would actually require more than a microwave to bake. But she was happy, maybe more would make her smile.

........................................................................................................................................................

Peter couldn't help but feel proud of himself. Making more chicken nuggets had clearly been the right decision. She chattered and observed everything with a newfound curiosity. He still hadn't seen her smile but that didn't bother him too much.

He sat on the couch watching her wander around the apartment reaching for and looking at everything. Every now and again she'd find something so interesting to her that she'd pick it up and bring it over to show Peter. She chatter and babble nonsensically then leave at his feet and amble of to continue exploring.

Peter was keeping a list in his head of where she was finding everything so he could later put them back. So far she'd gifted him nine items; an electronic candle, the tv remote, one fuzzy sock, his Mathematics of Astronomy textbook, a spare set of keys, a decorative flower, an orange, a quarter and two nickels, and his Wicket the Ewok action figure.

There was pull from under him. He looked over the back of the couch to see the little girl tugging atone end of the throw blanket, the other end firmly lodged underneath him. "Whatcha doin'?" She briefly stared at him, then continued to tug at the soft blanket.

"I don't think I can keep pretending you don't have a name." He said suddenly, lifting himself off his end of the throw blanket.

With no one else home it was easy to ignore the fact that he didn't know her name but it was starting to feel rude. She knew his name, he just thought she couldn't yet say it. Either out of shyness or verbal development.

"Do you have a name?" He asked. She blinked a few times before draping the blanket over her head. "Can you tell me what it is?" He tried. From beneath the blanket she chattered and honked at Peter stomping her feet against the floor.

"Really?" Peter smiled, pretending he knew just what she'd said. "Well, how about I give you a nickname?" she babbled some more craning her head to one side. "Okay cool," he pulled out his phone and brought up a cite for nickname recommendations. "Let's see... cutie? You are pretty cute," Peter teased. He couldn't see her face but he heard her blow a raspberry. "So that's a no... monkey?" she was curious. Another raspberry. "Bee?" This time she shook her head, her interest fading.

Blanket still over her head she traveled around the room like a ghost. A cute ghost. An unnerving tingle ran up Peter's spine making the hairs on his skin stand on end. He immediately looked to the toddler. "Ooah," she squeaked. She hadn't gotten far before bumping into one of the apartment's ceiling support beams. His eyes flew wide and his muscles went all rigid.

He surprised himself, he was at her side in seconds, still maintaining an arms length distance. Her arm length not. "Hey, hey are you okay?" He softly cooed, cautiously lifting the blanket off her head. He looked her over, as best he could from where he was, for any bruises or marks. She nodded.

"Yep? You're okay?" She continued to nod making clicking noises with her tongue. There was this twinge feeling in Peter that just wasn't convinced. Not a spidey-sense feeling just a fEeLiNg.

She affirmatively nods, struggling to stand up in the blanket tangle she'd created. Peter couldn't help but laugh softly watching her struggle to stand. She reminded him of the videos of newborn calves standing for the first time. She sneezed tripping backwards back down on her bum.

His muscles went stiff, he had to stop himself from touching her. "Hey, be careful. Clumsy." He laughed dryly. "You alright?" She turned her head to him, wiping the snot dribbling down her nose away with her sleeve and nodded.

Peter crinkled his nose in disgust, he was compiled by sheer grossed outness to peel her arm away by the sleeve. She flinched at the sudden contact, her face washed blank with confusion. Then she remembered, and her muscles relaxed.

"Let's use a Kleenex," Peter suggested bringing her arm away from her boogered nose. Her clothes were already coated in a thin layer of grime. "Maybe... take a bath?" He added. She was in desperate need of one, he was getting used to it but she reeked. And he was curious to know what she looked like without the filth layer.

That being said, this was the first time he'd been allowed to contact her in anyway since he'd brought her home and she still seemed agitated. So bath would be hers and his summit.

........................................................................................................................................................

"Okay look it's just a little water."

He managed to coax her into the bathroom and fill up the tub before she'd put two and two together. She stood back against the one door and shook her head. He'd been at this for fifteen minutes, though her trust in him had grown she refused to enter the bath. Peter wasn't about to make her that'd just undo her confidence in him.

"Hold on I'll show you." Peter dunked his head into the mildly warm water. Her nervous became frazzled jumping all together in a frazzled panic. Heart rate spiking, she speeds across the room to the edge of the tub. It wasn't long before Peter brought his head back up, he'd only been under for a couple of seconds. His hair lies plaster about his forehead beads of water dripping down from the tips. "See? Perfectly fine?"

Looking to her his smile fell. Gripping tightly the edge of the tub, her eyes held a sweet amount of concern. Lower lip drawn back in her, eyes brimmed with watery tear threading to fall. Guilt hit him like a fright train. "I'm sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." He apologized. She shakily sniffled, gnawing on her middle, index, and ring fingers as she sat her bum on the tile. She needed to calm her nerves.

So bath was a no go. Something about the water unnerved her.

"How about a shower?" He offered. Sure the toddler was small but she wouldn't fit in any of the sinks for a baby style bath. It was after all a small apartment. So a shower seemed like the next option. Peter pulled the the drain stopper out, to let the water run down.

Her blues curiously watched the water drain until the base of the tub was bare. "I promise a shower isn't bad." She looked at him, monitoring his movements as he stood and took off the handheld shower head. "Promise, promise," he joked sending a reassuring smile her way.

He turned the nob over the water nozzle, activating the hot water. "It's just like a rain...shower." He explained spraying the shower head toward the bath's back wall.

Eyebrows arching toward the sky, her eyes widened. She chirped and squeaked pointing — with the hand not in her mouth — toward the watery spray.

"See?" He held his hand out in front of the gentle spray. She moved close to him, so close her shoulder brushed against his. She held out her own hand, the warm droplets tickled her skin.

"There you go," Peter beamed. She babbled about, looking between him and the spray, her senseless words ran into one another. Peter reached over her head and took out rubber duck from the shower caddy. "Ducky will even be your shower buddy." It hadn't had purpose until then, previously nothing more than a decoration.

"Quack-quack quack," he teased tickle the duck against her side. She hummed, crumpling up. Her mouth formed what wasn't quite a smile but also not a frown. She poked at the rubber duck, attempting to mimic Peter's quacking. Peter laughed, she sounded like a chick.

"Ducky?" He tried.

She crinkled her nose making a stank face. Another raspberry.

He chuckled softly, she really is cute

........................................................................................................................................................

Peter couldn't believe it. Under all that dirt and grime the toddler was actually quite adorable. She was cute before but now that she was cleaned up she had this new glow to her. The toddler was Celtic looking, fair skin, sharp eyes, spotty dotty freckles that shifted with her cheeks and beautiful strawberry blonde locks.

"And blue," Peter called out.

The two were back in the living room. They spent the better half of an hour sorting Peter's stuff by color, something he thought she wouldn't be interested in but took to quite naturally. They'd run out of stuff from Peter's pile on the floor to sort twenty minutes ago. He wasn't quite sure how it started but now all he had to do was call out a color and she'd toddle off to find a match, then return so he could add it to the corresponding color pile.

No completely clean she'd certainly perked up even more so then before. She wore a pink black-squared tank hooded capri romper, hair still damp it fell loosely on to her shoulders.

Prepping for her a shower he'd discovered she wore pull-ups. Shouldn't have surprised him. This however made him realize there weren't any clothes suited for her in the apartment. Luckily one of the neighbors a floor below had a child close to her assumed age. The mother was confused as to why he needed some of her child's old clothes and pull-ups. Peter had just said he was babysitting and the child didn't bring an extra pair of clothes. Which wasn't a total lie.

The patter of little feet filled the room as the toddler waddled over to Peter from where ever she had been. She held out a blue sandal, not a pair sandals, just the one. "Is there another shoe," Peter asked raining a single brow. She drew in her lip, rocking back and forth on the soles of her feet, and nodded hesitantly.

"Can you go get it for the blue pile?"

She rolled her eyes but nonetheless complied, scuffling off to retrieve the other sandal. She was really enjoyable to be around, a bit of goof ball.

It wasn't long before she came barreling in sandal in hand, a blue metallic 1966 model Chevrolet chevelle clamped between her teeth.

"Hey what did I say?" Peter asked adopting a stern tone. She blinked a few times before remembering. She widened her mouth allowing the car to drop to the floor. "Little gum monster."

This earned him a raspberry.

Peter was certain she was still teething. If she wasn't gnawing/gumming on her own fingers she was gumming on some object. She'd gnawed on the rubber duck, a spatula head, four of the gifts she'd given Peter and now a metal model car. He'd have to get her a teething ring.

Peter shook his head mentally hitting himself. She's not staying.

Peter had to found himself forgetting that fact a couple times in the past two hours.

"Okay go find..." he wanted to challenge her this time. "Yellow." She chirped and squeaked before toddling off. She was a little scout, obtaining articles and returning them to Peter.

This time it too, her bit longer to find something of a yellow color. The duck had already been used so she need to find something else. She found herself in what could only be Peter's room. She sifted and searched, eyes on the lookout for some yellow.

Bingo

He heard it... again. The litter patter of little feet approaching. Heart swelled as he saw her round the corner of the couch, proudly clutching a mustard yellow cloth. "You found yellow," he commended holding a hand out for her to give him the cloth. Peter couldn't help but laugh as he spread out what was actually his mustard yellow tee with the words 'Bacteria. The only culture some people have' printed on in bold black lettering.

The little girl tried mimicking his laughter, but sounded more like a dolphin or chipmunk. This only made Peter laugh more.

"Thanks Gummy."

The name just slipped out. Her eyes sparkled like freshly fallen snow. He could tell by her body language and lack of raspberry that she at the very least didn't hate the name. In fact Her babbling happily like spring brook suggested she liked the name.

"Gummy," he repeated.

There was something about the nickname that just... suited her.

........................................................................................................................................................

When this kid, Gummy at as Peter now called her, got her energy she made the most of it. He never wanted to hear the Hokey-Pokey or the Baby Shark songs again. His muscles were tight from the childish motions. Simon says had been much more his speed for the night, at least until it was Gummy's turn be Simon. Hide-and-Seek nearly gave him a panic attack.

He could no longer deny the fact that he cared about her. Her bright eyes, bubbly chirps, and button nose. Her in all her quirkinesses.

"Okay Gummy, behold one of the greatest movies ever!..." He exclaimed holding up a colorful dvd box. Gummy did her cute curious head tilt, crinkling up her nose. "That we own." Peter murmured somewhat sourly.

Peter had the room set up for comfy movie watching. She'd burned out after four rounds of hide-and-seeks, showing clear signs of tiredness. Now she sat tired-eyed rather sluggishly on the couch. Peter himself was sort of tired too, she'd drain a lot of his energy. A movie seemed like the perfect way to wind down. He wasn't sure how long she'd last, her eyes already glazing over, but he'd enjoy himself even when she inevitably fell asleep.

Gummy reached for the box making grabby hands. Peter took out the dvd and handed it's case to the two-year-old. "It doesn't go in your mouth." He emphasized before turning his back on her. She tried to play with the thin plastic case but quickly discovered the only thing interesting about it was the sound it made when she opened and shut it.

"My Neighbor Totoro. It has animals I really think you'll like." After getting the dvd ready, he sat beside her, letting his body sink into the cushions.

They sat, brains off, engrossed. Peter would peel his eyes away every few minutes to check if Gummy was still awake. Though the television blared her eyes were half closed and her fingers were back in her mouth. She'd yawn, little tongue curling as she did. Her eyes lit up when the first Ghibli creature appeared on screen but there was still a tiredness behind them.

She'd be out like a light soon. Peter returned his focus to the movie.

Some time passed and he suddenly felt a weight increase against his side. He looked down and his eyes immediately softened. Gummy had curled against him. He gave her a side hug and brushed her wispy bangs back. She hugged her little arms around his, nuzzling her face against it, the softest smile gracing her lips.

Peter's heart melted. She's not staying. She's not staying.

He watched her chest rise and fall. The two's combined body heats, tethered with the bump-bump-buh beat of Peter's heart sent the sweet girl off to dreamland. Her fingers unconsciously curled into the fabric of his top, not clasping it tightly, but just enough to reassure her, he wasn't going anywhere. Peter using his other arm brought her onto his lap, protectively holding her against himself.

She's not going anywhere.

........................................................................................................................................................

EXT. Ending

The apartment was dark. The only sources of light came from the one lamp still lit down the hall, and the frequent passing of street cars. Their lights shining through the apartment windows. There was shuffling of feet out in the hall, a muttering of a curse, a jangle of key, and finally a satisfying click. The door swung open. In the door way, the silhouette of a woman shaking the rain off her umbrella.

"Peter?" She whispered quietly entering in. Just barely making out some movement on the couch she shook her head. Her nephew most have fallen asleep on the couch again. "Peter," she called out. At the second call of his name Peter awoke, his hold around the still sleeping baby in his arms tightening.

"Hey Pete sorry I had to work late." May apologized tussling her nephew's hair. "A coworker had leave suddenly, his wife went into labor. And it was my turn to cover." She headed to the kitchen.

Peter pushed a hand through his hair fixing the tussled up areas. "Yeah it's fine May," He assured looking back at her from over his shoulder. "Something huge happened after school." He began.

He didn't get a chance to finish as his aunt held up the dirty pair of clothes Gummy had been wearing earlier. Their apartment didn't have a washing machine so he'd simply discarded them in the sink until they could be washed. "Peter who's clothes are these? Who's Emilia?"

"Emilia?”

May held up the shirt tag. While he was seated too far to see what was written, he had to guess it was the word 'Emilia'.

Peter bit the inside of his cheek, mentally kicking himself. Her name was on her shirt tag! As the full realization, sank in, he threw his head back. From the pit of his stomach, came all his emotion, and a loud groan passed through his lips.

"Damn it."

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