#but identity like my lgbtqia+ identity or my social identity mean not as much to me

[beemintty]

something i struggle with is my australian identity. it's a fickle thing, identity that's tied to your country of origin. now those who know a bit about our countries history, I descend from the english part of the country. my dad is first generation australian (his parents are immigrants) and my mum's ancestors probably came across on the first fleet as convicts (we think that was the case anyway). so i'm british pretty well through and through. which is fine but i'm honestly not very proud of what the british did here to this country..... they stripped an entire culture of their own identity and practically erased it completely-- the people and the tradition-- and we are still making up for the unforgivable actions today (as we should be!). so yeah my australian identity feels a little bit conflicting.

so here's the thing. i want to learn and experience the indigenous culture that was so horrible erased by the british colonisation, but i understand how far away i am from indigenous australians and their culture. but i simply can't be a part of "just another western culture" i need more than just being a westerner.... i want my own individual culture that I can share and experience with food and tradition and ART and STORIES! like i feel so lost in "just another western culture".

but here's the other thing. australia is so uniquely isolated in its westerness. even though we are a predominantly western society, we are different. we do have tradition. we do have food. we do have art. we do have stories. it just doesn't look like an old, rich culture, it's growing and it's still young.

i feel like i find myself envying my lack of indigenous identity and therefore having no time to this land and no way in to understand the marvelous culture they have. but then again i also seem to despise my part in the western world. maybe out of consolidation or guilt but maybe also just out of not feeling particularly connected with australia's western traditions. so i'm stuck in this weird inbetween, unable to identify with either culture that make up my country.

i feel a bit lost.

[queeoretician]

It's amazing how much incidental and easy-to-miss queerness tazmuir manages to pack into the Fourth House section of the Cohort Intelligence Files at the end of GtN.

"Sir Jeannemary Chatur" is a cool vibe and easy to spot, but it's worth taking a close look at Judith's notes on Isaac too:

Abigail Pent has forged a strong relationship with both Tettares and Chatur, much stronger even than her mothers’ relationship with Tettares’ father. It is already suggested that her nephew will be affianced to him once they are of age.

Firstly, "mothers'" (not "mother's"), indicating that Abigail has two moms - this is subtle enough that I missed it in all 5 or so of my prior readings.

Second, and more complicatedly, that Abigail is planning to have Isaac marry her nephew. On the surface of it, this seems cool - my initial reading was that Isaac is gay, and Abigail wants him to have a spouse who he has some chance of being interested in. But given that this is in the context of an arranged marriage between aristocratic families, we should also consider the reproductive lens (especially given the mention of his siblings being "a mix of vat-womb and XX carry" in the preceding paragraph) - I think a more compelling reading of this passage is actually that Isaac is trans¹ (or Abigail's nephew is). And tugging on this thread takes us to a bit of a dark place.

Given how much the Fourth and Fifth evidently care about the heredity of their rulers, we can infer that someone in Isaac's position wouldn't have any real reproductive autonomy even if he had survived to adulthood. And while the existence of vat wombs obviates the horror of forced pregnancy/childbirth, this is still a pretty fucked up situation (to say nothing of the Ninth where they don't even have access to vat wombs). To me, this signifies a fundamental injustice of organising society around hereditary nobility; one that persists even if it can be made to be superficially gay- and trans-inclusive.

With this in mind it's worth interrogating my use of the word "queerness" at the beginning of the post. In the real world "queer" is viable as an umbrella term for all the many LGBTQIA+ identities specifically because those identities are all at odds with the cis-/hetero-/etc.-normative nature of our society. But in the Nine Houses it doesn't seem like being gay/bisexual/trans is stigmatised in the same way, so one could say that these identities are not "queer" per se (strange, other) in a diegetic context.

"Sir Jeannemary Chatur" reflects a similar mismatch. In the real world, a woman using the title "sir" is at odds with both traditional gender roles and (more significantly) institutional usage of the title. But in the Nine Houses this title seems to be devoid of any specific gendered connotations, and its application to Jeannemary is not a subversion of that society's gender norms, but instead an affirmation of the (normative, exploitative) social role of cavalier.

So in summary: Isaac is trans, what queerness means in the Nine Houses can be quite different from what it means in the real world, and pinkwashing an unjust society doesn't make it more just (even if it's headed by a queer person).

¹ This isn't to say that Isaac isn't gay - I headcanon him as both gay and trans. But I don't think him being married off to Abigail's nephew is (primarily) about his sexual orientation.

PS: If you like being haunted by the ghosts of these characters, check out @katakaluptastrophy's fic, Your children are weapons, which got me thinking about these two again lately.

[my-castles-crumbling]

I made a huge mistake almost a whole year ago and I still think about it all of the time.

I was working with this new staff member… and I did the worst thing anyone could do and assumed their pronouns… I was using the wrong pronouns for weeks until my sister told me that they go by they/them. When she told me that my entire heart shattered. I felt like the biggest asshole ever. How could I, a member of the lgbtqia+ community fuck up that badly. I felt horrible and of course I still do.! (No one knows I’m queer so I also feel like now they think I’m transphobic and/or homophobic)

I wanted to apologise but then I felt like I’d be making up excuses for myself and I’m also like really socially awkward so I didn’t end up saying anything.

The thing is, I still feel so horrible about it and I guess that’s a good thing bc at least I know that I care about being respectful but it just really sucks that I was misgendering someone for so long and didn’t realise the harm I could have been causing them.

I’m so sorry to be ranting to you at 2am but I genuinely don’t think I’ll ever get over this and I just needed to speak about it to someone.

Ps- I am the agender questioning anon and so thank you so much for helping me with that… I think I’m starting to understand myself so much more now!

So much love to you Cas, I hope you have the most amazing day! 🫶🏼

Hi love!

woah woah woah. Take a breath <3

Here's the thing. Yeah, it sucks to be misgendered. and yeah, in a perfect world, we should ask people for their pronouns every time we meet them.

But here's the thing: that's not reality. Why?

It's not always safe to ask for/share pronouns. There are many situations where I, myself, don't feel comfortable asking someone's pronouns or sharing my own. So I assume. And unfortunately, that means I get misgendered and so do other people. But my safety and the safety of others is first and foremost.

Also, it's a habit to get into, to ask people for their pronouns, even when they might present in a way that makes you assume. Habits are difficult to form, and sometimes a mistake like this helps you become more eager to form them.

And here's the thing: you did the EXACT RIGHT THING by not making a big deal of it when you found out and (I'm assuming) just using the right pronouns from then on. You didn't put that person in a weird situation and now they're being gendered correctly.

Let me give you an example that will hopefully make you feel better:

I have been wearing a pin on my lanyard at work for five months now with my pronouns. I work with about a hundred adults. Guess how many people use my pronouns? ONE.

Until the other day.

All of a sudden, my coworker started referring to me with my pronouns. And I was SO EXCITED! She didn't have to give an apology. She just needed to start respecting my identity.

All this to say: yes, it sucks to be misgendered, and in a perfect world we should never assume. But you're still LEARNING and if you've corrected yourself and do your best to do better from now on then, as long as this coworker is a decent person, they aren't mad. I promise!

Sending you lots of love and also maybe some forgiveness for yourself. <333

[astriiformes]

u (asexual) were not always included in the lgbt community 😭 y’all started existing in 2008 after the hard work was all done don’t lie

Usually I wouldn't reply to a message like this -- it was sent in response to a post that included plenty of examples of historical ace and aro involvement in what we now think of as the queer community, and was obviously sent just to be inflammatory and get an upset reply. I'm secure enough in my ace and aro identity -- and have more then enough allo, queer friends who consider me a part of their community -- that mean asks on tumblr aren't about deter me from my activism, both in the aro/ace sphere and the broader queer one.

But this particular anonymous ask just so happens to be one of the most astonishingly self-centered, short-sighted examples of ace hate I've ever gotten, so let's have a little talk about what's going on here.

Anon, it takes a special kind of person to claim the hard work is done and over on Trans Day of Remembrance, when we are mourning at minimum 32 people who were killed in the United States for being transgender in this last year -- and at least 327 people globally; on the heels of 2021 being the single worst year the Human Rights Campaign has recorded for trans murders on the United States, and when just yesterday night, 5 people were murdered and another 25 injured in a shooting at a queer club. When 2022 has seen the highest number of pieces of anti-LGBTQIA+ legislation filed in the United States on record -- many but not all targeted at not just trans people, but trans youth. When states like Texas and Florida are sending social workers after parents who support their children's gender transition and scaring queer and trans teachers out of schools. When there is an increasing movement to ban books featuring queer stories from schools and libraries across the United States -- including ones like Maia Kobabe's Gender Queer, which talks extensively about the author's aromantic and asexual identity as well as their gender journey. When TERF rhetoric dominates the news and political spheres in the United Kingdom, and British trans folks face horrific waits of three, four, five, and more years to access lifesaving care as the number of providers in the country who can offer it to them dwindles. When queer Ukranians are speaking out about the danger the invasion of their homeland by a country with a number of trans- and queerphobic laws in place puts them in (and when queer Russians have been living under those laws for some time now). When queer and trans people all over the world are watching all of this with worry for ourselves and the people we love.

What part of that is easy? What part of the hard work is done? Trans and queerphobic sentiments are on the rise and you seem to think you have some kind of laurels to sit on -- and worse, some kind of moral superiority. Tell me you aren't involved in the fight without telling me you aren't involved in the fight.

I (asexual) happen to have marched in a protest for trans rights in below-freezing weather this week. I had a conversation with the vice-president of my university's queer student organization about how I'd like to get involved in leadership next year. I helped talk a peer down from feeling suicidal when she came into the queer student center crying. I have also been talking a lot lately with my queerplatonic partner about how much happier she is having learned to embrace her ace identity and how much more comfortable she is in an ace relationship. I have been fighting for this community out on the streets while you decided the best use of your time was to hide behind anonymity and try to tear someone fighting for you down.

Because guess what, anon? Even if you want to pretend this fight -- that, yes, ace and aro people have been in all along -- is over, I don't think you deserve to have your right to marry taken away just because you grew complacent any more than I deserve to have a doctor make belittling comments towards me while I hold my queerplatonic partner's hand in the ER just because we're not married. (And yes, the latter actually happened to me this year, in this oh-so-easy world where all the fighting's done and where ace people were apparently never victims in the first place.) You're a bully, but you're human, and my queer advocacy doesn't exclude anyone -- even jerks.

I've been identifying as aromantic and asexual since I was 16 years old. In the last decade, I've received dozens of messages like this, and had hundreds of other horrible judgements slung at me in the reblogs of my posts. I've had people I marched with in Pride parades say insensitive things about my identities the very same day. I've watched other ace and aro friends bear similar trauma at the hands of our own community and We're. Still. Here.

My friends from the university's ace and aro club marched side-by-side with me in the snow, with handwarmers stuffed in our gloves, to protest earlier this week. Another of my aro/ace friends founded a queer affinity group in a major international charity club that has hundreds of members worldwide now, supporting each other and forging life-long friendships. Another ace friend is on a committee at my university fighting for more gender-neutral restrooms on campus. I've helped queer friends move from unsupportive homes and spoken at others' weddings when most of the rest of their family refused to show up. The queer community is my home, and it's an honor and a privilege to fight for it, even if it's a tragedy to still have to. I don't have to prove I belong here.

But you -- who seem to to think that tearing down someone different from you, in a community that's been about being different from the start, is the pinnacle of activism? You might.

[kiyostimboardz]

Blog introduction !!

Hello , welcome to my blog ! ! . My name is Aspen! I’m the host of a DID system but I don’t talk about that much.

My blog mainly consists of: stimboards, animals, rants about shows/ships etc!

I’m autistic, so my posts are heavily related to my special interests (animals), when I say animals are my special interest I mean EVERYTHING to do with them! Even books, like warrior cats! And shows like how to train your dragon. I love everything to do with animals!

As for my identity, I’m a transfem enby lesbian who uses they/it/xe!,,

DNI/IWC/INT

dni . . .

People who believe in conflicting identities such as male lesbians, female gays etc.

Basic stuff like homophobic, racist, abelist

Endogenic systems, we only support traumagenic systems as that’s how systems form.

NSFW/KINK accounts.

Int . . .

stimboard lovers

autistics

people who want to submit requests

LGBTQIA+

anyone else!

FAQ . . .

“ are you proship safe? “

> Yes and no! I’m not gonna judge what you do in your free time, as long as you don’t talk about it on my blog, engage all you want.

“ Can I have a _ Stimboard?”

> Yes ofcourse! My requests are always open. Feel free to request anything anytime! Keep in mind, the more detail in the request, the more accurate I can make the stimboard !!

“ Do you have any other socials? “

> Yes! I repost some of my stimboards, (and more stimboards not on here), onto kiyo.stimboards on tiktok! If someone reposts my stimboards anywhere else, that’s not me, and I would appreciate being told

Thank you for reading! Enjoy a raichu stimboard due to the account theme 🧡

[mistralonyxarisen]

My Pinned Post

Okay time for an extended about me as a pinned post. I'm trying to be more active and open in several communities. So here we are.

Howdy folks. I'm Mistral and I make fantasy fetish content in a variety of mediums. I'm a geeky cishet guy (he/him) with a strong kinky dominant side. I'm 40s and in an wonderful open relationship with a super awesome non-kinky partner that allows play partners of all kinds (virtual and in person). This blog is primarily focused on my favorite kink - hypnokink. I'm into hypnosis stuff both fantasy and real.

This is my backup blog that may need to become permanent. My original account is presently ACTIVE. For the time being I will be updating both blogs.

Standard stuff: Minors DNI and please move on. Consent and Safety: ALWAYS. I don't tolerate hate or anti-LGBTQIA+ views. Trans rights are human rights. No body shaming or kink shaming. No BS directed at someone's identity, race, or orientation. I'm a feminist - burn the patriarchy (I'll happily entertain Bimbo/Stepford/Misogyny fetishes and fantasies but if you espouse that in the real world - GTFO).

Click the KEEP READING to see the rest!

I'm on Kik and several other messenger platforms. I am on FetLife (if interested, DM me - they aren't directly linked). My website is here: https://mistralonyx.com/

I'm into a ton of geeky shit: video games, DnD (yes, I’m a DM), TTRPGs, board games, reading, writing fantasy/sci-fi, anime/hentai, it goes on.

I have a busy family, work, and social life. My schedule can be crazy, sometimes wide open, sometimes sevens layers of chaos. I attempt to squeeze in kink and hypnosis whenever I can. If I don't get back to you right away, I might have stuff going on. Patience is appreciated.

On the subject of kink:

I have played in the hypno kink space for over 20 years. I'm very much a dom tist. I have a switch side, but it takes a special trusted partner. I'm primarily drawn to women subjects (transwomen are women) but I've been known to help some guys drop too. I'm het but do lean hypnosexual. I adore my hypno partners and am a nurturing dom at heart.

I'm open to hypno kinky sessions in a variety of forms: text only, voice, video, and in-person. I prefer to set expectations and boundaries up front. I've had and still seek short and long term play partners. My preferred kinks are many (gestures to the blog) but some highlights are brainwashing, turning subs into very good girls, controlling their pleasure, and using it as a means to totally mind blank them. If you'd like to play online - DM me. Let's see if things click. You want to play in person and are in the DFW area - DM me, maybe we'll surprise each other.

A lot of the content I make on this site is Fantasy CNC (Consensual Non-Consent). Emphasis on the FANTASY part. I don't condone ANY real NC or violation of ANY kind. If that's your thing - fuck right off. Consent. Consent. Consent. That said - CNC Play is hot as fuck if done well. If curious, ask. Or check out any of the numerous fantasy posts on the blog.

My visual art is generated with a variety of methods including SD, 3D rendering, compositing, and over painting. You want to MAKE some custom content with me? Let's chat - I'm game.

That's about it. Always looking for friends, subjects, and good girls. Play safe out there, folks. And break those brains. ;)

[kaelvas]

I spent a long time hating myself and not thinking I could contribute anything positively lasting to the world. I flunked out of my English program at BYU due to severe depression and undiagnosed neurodivergence.

I had thousands in debt, was making just above minimum wage, and was eating once a day. I was unknowingly in a cult which constantly berated me to aim higher and do better, but not in a healthy or sustainable way.

I almost stopped. Death seemed like the best course more than a few times. For me, trying to help people kept me going. Financially, emotionally, I offered what I could and tried to pin down what I wanted from life and if I even deserved it.

I found a therapist who actually seemed to care and started really working through my shit. One of my biggest barriers was generalizing my shittiest experiences to my core personhood. "Because of x, I am a monster" or "I can never be whole because of y."

He taught me to separate all of that out and to realize I wasn't my worse days. Which wasn't enough, but it was a good start. I graduated my undergrad program during our work together and started working with suicidal veterans.

I later went back for my masters and met my wife before I started my first semester. Here. On Tumblr. I lost my job and internship because I couldn't keep up (depression, unmedicated adhd, and undiagnosed autism). Didn't get my autism diagnosis until 2022. This was Feb of 2020.

You know what that means.

The pandemic hit. My wife and I got married earlier than planned due to health insurance benefits and never got a traditional wedding due to the pandemic.

I graduated, after struggling to find a new internship (I didn't, but had enough hours anyway). Got my clinical license and became a therapist. I moved practices a few times due to not being valued, but learned a lot at each place. I was EMDR trained which transformed my practice.

I now mostly focus on fellow LGBTQIA+, Autistic/ADHD, complex trauma folx. I've seen real, lasting changes with people I work with. Especially with EMDR.

My wife and I both figured out we were Autistic and nonbinary. We both picked out new names to suit our "new" identities.

That completely changed how I approached therapy and life in general. I finally had words for sensory issues, autistic inertia, interoception, alexithymia, social language differences. I had so much internalized ableism to work through.

Now I get to help people better understand themselves and their parents better understand and accept them.

I will not get into how much I hate ABA, Autism Speaks or anything else that tries to fundamentally change Autistic people or proposes an end goal of eradication.

Long story short...it took 10 years for me to get here. I almost didn't make it. But I'm happier, more stable, and more myself than I've ever been.

[every-dayiwakeup]

Here's a small cross over question, if Steve and Billy end up trapped in the Upside Down and somehow time stops, they're preserved at their teenage years, like Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes in ice, then they make it to today's time as teenagers still, I know its not a huge gap like the 40s to 2010s gap, but if you think about the social changes (some places 🙄) between the 80s and 2010s, how'd they react? Favourite things, things they struggle with, etc, etc...I'm here for the long haul.

Oh now you're speaking my language! (Stucky being one of my other guilty pleasures but moving on lol)

I think they both would be very confused about the acceptance of LGBTQIA+, and the terms. It would give them an opportunity to further explore their sexualities and gender identities though, because acceptance of something you've been told for years is an abomination is sooo liberating.

Pronouns. Now, in English class we are taught pronouns, and Billy would probably just say "See, Harrington? I told you school doesn't teach you everything!" The way he sees it, the new gen is expanding what standard textbooks taught.

Billy would be excited to see a man wearing the same shade of lip gloss as him, sporting pierced ears and nail polish. He admires the way the man walks with confidence and purpose, and he tells Steve he wishes he could have that same confidence.

On the topic of openness... which goes hand in hand with toxic masculinity ( a truly suffocating thing), I'm going out on a limb and saying that they aren't used to this wave of therapy, and communication, or being in touch with your feelings.

But this means that they can try things that were forbidden back in their time. Dabble in painting, fashion, makeup... the possibilities are endless.

Now, going by canon, assuming Robin was an old friend (maybe she's a black widow in this crossover?) Steve isn't a stranger to same sex relationships.

Billy however probably didn't know much about his preferences with partners, only that it "was wrong" (shitty times 😒), and his father being a trashy h*m*ph*be, he's understandably a lot more cautious about this- he's relatively new to the conversation. But he's curious, and he's eager to learn more about himself. He has a lot of unlearning to do.

They would probably bitch about how everything is so much more expensive (like the movies, gas, etc).

Steve would want to embrace this new world, and enroll in classes to learn about what he's missed.

Billy wants to be open to learning, but his first concerns would be to find Neil. To find Max. Steve probably realized they were in a different time before he did, because all Billy could think about was Max.

Neil is six feet under, and Max is like 52 (I'm bull with math so 😃🔫). Married with Lucas, and they have kids.

Now that Neil is dead, Max and Billy can really fix their sibling bond. Of course Max is a lot older physically, so it's challenging because Billy is still preserved. So Max is more matured, but seeing Billy brings back the childishness she lost when she thought he died.

She and Lucas help him and Steve out with settling down. Steve wants to move in together, and for Billy, old habits die hard. He's still looking over his shoulder.

Of course the other members of the Party are contacted, and they greet both Steve and Billy with happy tears and disbelief. Dustin would be the first to believe their odd story, while the others would be skeptical.

Steve finds out that Nancy is really sick (she's basically Peggy Carter) and he's torn between past feelings for her (even though she married Jonathan 💀) and whatever feelings he has for Billy.

Billy would struggle with speeding, and racks up tickets like you wouldn't believe. He doesn't have patience for traffic, or student drivers. They both have to renew their licesenses and documents in general. Billy gets his license revoked within ten minutes of renewal.

Steve stays by Nancy's bedside, and Billy tries to be understanding. He tries to keep busy around their shared aparrntment. He attends family therapy with Max and Lucas, and has since decided on getting a therapist focusing on him specifically (it was Max's idea). Billy has a lot to unpack, and therapy can get draining.

Especially because Lauren, his therapist, tends to dig deeper than he's ready for, which sets him off. He doesn't like to be pushed to open up, and she doesn't understand that. He doesn't want to let Max down, though. The way he sees it, its payback for how he treated her, and he's a wuss, like his father said. He should be able to take some stranger poking around his past. And he has a lot of making up to do (his opinion). So he sucks it up, even though he cries at night (that is when he does manage to have a peaceful night's sleep).

When you don't sleep you get extra moody, and Billy falls victim to mood swings. He lashes out at Steve, who should just kick him out on the street and turn his back on him like everyone else has.

Billy eventually gets a new therapist after Steve gets pissed for him and gives Lauren a piece of his mind- which is a new concept for Billy. Usually people are pissed at him. Its kind of nice.

Steve wants to try new flavors of ice cream (he thorough regrets it, because he's just found out he's lactose intolerant).

When Nancy dies, Billy is there by his side, the way Steve has been since they woke up in 2017.

There are two beds in their apartment, and a pull out couch, but they always sleep together. It'd to the point where one cannot sleep if the other isn't close.

Billy thrives without Neil, truly thrives, and he's smiling more. He's learning to communicate when he feels down, or if he doesn't feel comfortable with something.

Steve still takes care of the Party, only he's not the old one anymore. They get stared at when they go out together, but Billy just stares right back at the judgemental pricks until they look away.

They go to theme parks (the "kids" always find a way to get Steve and Billy together somehow) and the Party brings their kids.

Billy is a little skittish around the little ones (he's not sure what their parents have told them about him) but once Mike and Wills four year old daughter Diana (a shy, quiet girl) takes his hand and tugs him to play a carnival game, he grows less uncomfortable, allowing himself to live in the moment. Especially because he can tell Mike is annoyed by the fact that Diana likes him more.

Steve has the freedom to look at Billy without having to be afraid for both of them. His pining is more obvious (just not to an equally whipped Billy).

They are men out of time, and they have all the time in the world.

Mad Max annoyingly reminds Billy, however, not to wait too long.

Billy insists Steve is just being... Steve. Sooner or later he will come to his senses, and kick Billy to the curb.

Steve has no intention of abandoning him, though. Because he's with him till the end of the line (I couldn't resist)

-

[fromthewondersystem]

Therapy: The Interview

I know this is a day late, so sorry about that. I wanna talk about what to do when you’re looking for a therapist. I’m gonna be focusing less on the search and more on seeing if they’re the right fit.

When I find a therapist (I usually use PsychologyToday to search) who seems like they may treat patients with DID (as well as other issues I have and need to deal with), the first thing to do is contact them, often through phone or email, and set up an initial session or interview to learn more. Here’s the wording I usually use:

“Hi [Therapist Name],

My name is [Full Name], and I’m interested in finding a therapist to help me with [issues (if you don’t wanna say DID, in the past, I’ve said dissociation or dissociative issues too)]. [Add any other important info you may want to add about yourself or situation.] I’d like to set up an initial meet-up to see if we’re a good fit for therapy together. My availability for the next couple weeks is [days and times you’re available]. Do any of these work for you? Please let me know. Thank you.

Sincerely,

[Your Name]”

For meeting a therapist to help you with your DID/OSDD, it’s good to have already done research before that might answer some of the questions to follow, but if not, I’ve still included them on this list of questions.

Before getting into the questions for the therapist though, talk about why you’re there. Describe your problems and background with treatment or other things you’ve tried. If you have goals for therapy, talk about them. Tell the therapist what you know works for you and what doesn’t.

Now, this list is not a full one, nor does every question on it need to be asked. It just provides some ideas.

General Questions:

What are your qualifications, such as specialty licenses and certifications? (LP - Licensed Psychologist, LCSW - Licensed Clinical Social Worker, LPC - Licensed Professional Counselor, LMHC - Licensed Mental Health Counselor, LMFT - Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, LCADAC - Licensed Clinical Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counselor, PhD - Doctor of Philosophy, PsyD - Doctor of Psychology)

Following from the last question, if you’re interested in something like EMDR or brainspotting, clinicians need extra training/certifications for that, so ask if they have them.

How long have you been practicing?

What types of therapy do you do (by this I don’t just mean individual, couple, or family therapy. I mean things like CBT, DBT, Trauma-Focused Therapy, Art Therapy, etc.)

How do your religious and political beliefs affect how you practice?

Are you an ally to [BIPOC, LGBTQIA, polyamorous, kink community, fat people, people of X religion, physically disabled people, etc., whatever applies to you]? How?

Do you have experience or are able to help and respect and understand people dealing with aspects of the identities above? How?

Do you do in-person therapy, online therapy, or both?

For in-person therapy, what safety precautions do you have?

What issues do you help treat/provide therapy for?

What are your specialties (which issues)?

What’s your (philosophical) approach to therapy?

How long is a typical session? How often?

What does a typical session look like?

What days and times are you available for therapy sessions? (Check if it works with your own schedule.)

Do you do short-term therapy, long-term therapy, or both?

How much does a session cost?

What insurances do you take?

Do you do sliding scale fees? (A sliding scale means instead of paying the full amount, you pay what you can. However, these only go so low. If they do a sliding scale, let them know what you can afford and ask if that’s alright.)

Would you be able to take me on pro-bono? (Therapists should do a certain amount of pro-bono work. There may be certain qualifications to take someone on pro-bono.)

What are your policies on lateness, cancellation, and no-shows?

What are your strengths and limitations as a therapist?

You might want to ask some questions about medication and their thoughts. Also ask if they are able to prescribe medications or could/do work with a psychiatrist to do so.

How do you feel about patients who do their own research (into things you talk about, into conditions they believe they may show symptoms for, into good sources like specific books and websites about something they’ve been diagnosed with)?

Specific Treatment Questions (I’ve written them to ask about DID/OSDD but they go for any issues you’re seeing a therapist for):

What knowledge do you have about DID/OSDD?

What/How much experience do you have treating people with dissociative disorders?

How do you usually go about treatment for DID?

How do you set up and track therapy goals? Do you have any suggestions or recommendations for me?

What are some indications that the therapy is working and what are some indications that it isn’t?

If the treatment we’re using isn’t working, what would the next steps be?

Are you more blunt with clients, more trying to be comforting, etc.? I work best with X type of communication, are you able to do that?

How do you think therapy can help me?

Is there anything I should do to prepare for our first session?

At the end of the interview/session, ask whether they think they’d be a good fit for you. You can let them know what you think. See if they have any other questions for you. If you’re unsure, take time to think it over, there’s no rush.

If you initially think they’re a good fit for you and you start doing therapy with them, but some time later on realize they’re not a good fit or you need to find a different therapist for any other reason, whether you’ve been seeing them for weeks, months, or years, set up a meeting with them (or tell them at your next session). Be up front and honest about why it’s not working out instead of just ghosting them. Don’t be afraid to leave them if they’re not helping you with what you need anymore. It’s not a friendship, you’re paying them to treat you and aid you in recovery.

[hellomynameisbisexual]

One specific kind of discimination, biphobia ––the fear of bisexual individuals or bisexuality as a whole –– has spread rampantly throughout the past years. Bisexuality is often used as an umbrella term for other orientations like pansexual and omnisexual; basically any sexuality where you are attracted to more than one gender. However, there are nuanced differences between each specific sexuality. Over 50% of homosexual people identify as bisexual, according to the Human Rights Campaign.

While it may seem sensible to merge biphobia with homophobia, the two can not be lumped together so easily. President Joe Biden even mentioned biphobia separately from homophobia and transphobia in his May 17 statement. Yes, bisexual people are a part of the LGBTQIA+ community, but bisexuality has taken criticism from both heterosexual and homosexual groups which has left a myriad of individuals feeling marginalized. According to bi.org, bisexual individuals often struggle for visibility within the community.

Although media and societal norms have grouped bisexuality in with the entire LGBTQIA+ term, bisexual individuals do not often feel welcome by the community. This is especially so for bisexual people who have a preference for and/or are in a relationship with the opposite gender.

Why does biphobia exist inside the queer community? According to an article by Refinery29, many bisexual people feel that they are demeaned by the queer community for being “straight-passing” or appearing heterosexual to the public eye. Often, according to Stylebook and bi.org, gay or lesbian people state that bisexuality discredits the meaning of pride and the hardships of queer history. Bisexual individuals often feel unnecessarily questioned about their sexuality and whether they will ever “pick a side.” Or they may be called “greedy” because they are attracted to multiple genders. This can be very harmful to a bisexual person’s identity, potentially leading to internalized monosexism and a repression of one’s bisexuality.

“The invalidation many wlw (women-love-women) receive from their own community is startling,” Emily Slusarz ’24 told The Carroll News. “To discredit someone for ‘seeming straight’ is ridiculous in my opinion. They [bisexuals] still have struggles with accepting their sexuality, coming out, etc. and should have a community that supports them.”

Robyn Ochs, a bisexual author, described the issue. “Gay and lesbian identified individuals frequently view us as either confused or interlopers possessing a degree of privilege not available to them, and many heterosexuals see us as amoral, hedonistic spreaders of disease and disrupters of families.”

“I do not even try to celebrate pride anymore,” an anonymous student from John Carroll stated. “Since I have a boyfriend and appear heterosexual to the public eye, it feels pointless trying to convince people I am a part of the LGBT community. I will just be left out by both the gay circle and continue to be scrutinized by the heterosexual crowd.”

The effects of biphobia have not gone unnoticed. According to Boston University Today, bisexual individuals often have poorer sexual health, face more sexual violence due to fetishization and do not come out to their doctors as much as heterosexual or homosexual individuals. Medical News Today also states that bisexuals are more susceptible to certain types of cancers as well as mental health problems like substance abuse, depression, self harm and others. The Stonewall Foundation in Britain found that a larger percentage of bisexual people were sexually assaulted than homosexual people (42% of those bisexual individuals believed that their orientation was motivation for the attack). Stonewall also states that on a social level, bisexuals are less likely to be out to their friends and family and are more likely to face healthcare discrimination than gays or lesbians.

Yet, there is hope to eliminate this stigma. Campaigns like Still Bisexual and the Bisexual Organizing Project may help decrease levels of biphobia. As more individuals continue to embrace their bisexuality and fight against societal norms, acceptance of bisexuality may increase.

Joellyn Wilken Weingourt from The Equality Federation sums up bisexual acceptance.

“My sexual orientation is not a choice,” she states. “There is power in living your life and being your full, authentic self. It sounds illogical but ,in order to be the best ally I can be, I need to stop being just an ally. Today, I am going to stand inside the community I fully belong in. I am a cisgender woman, somewhere in my 40s, I have a husband and a child. And I am proud to be bisexual. I am proud of my past and my present. I am excited about my out and proud future.”

“I will come out soon to my friends and family when it feels safe,” the anonymous student continued. “One day, I know that I won’t be called selfish for being bisexual and invalidated, and I hope that day comes very soon.”

This article is part of The Carroll News pride month series.

[mistress-chan]

1095 Days Into My Life

Unfortunately I have not written as many actual blog posts as I would like, mainly keeping up with my #WeebWednedsay and other random fandom things. But today is a little different, today is three years into my life, my true life, a life I never thought I would live. Before I continue I will say this might get a bit deep, a bit personal, has trigger warning for mental health issues, and a lot of gay. If you have issues with anything lgbtqia+ or are a TERF please kindly fuck off. Good, now that that is out of the way, welcome to my life.

Let’s wind the clock back three years, I hated my life and myself. My father used to say before anything you had to love yourself and at the time I loathed myself. I could put on a mask to go to work, I would don a black duster to be who I thought was my true self, but I still hated who I was. I just thought it was part of having bi-polar disorder and depression, the feeling of always being on the razor’s edge of suicide just trying never to actually take an actual razor in hand. I will say I never committed any acts of self-harm which mainly one reason I never tried was out of spite for others. But now, I truly can say I love myself. How did that happen?

We need to go back a bit longer to see the start of this, that wonderful time of SARS-CoV-2 aka COVID-19. I at the time was working full time at home so the world shutting down around me did not cause me to have to drastically change what I already was not doing (being social), but during this time I did some reflection and saw that yeah I really did not like myself and needed to change it. And here is where my love of Utena just predicts things. I present to you THE EGG SPEECH:

If the egg's shell does not break, the chick will die without being born. We are the chick; the egg is the world. If the world's shell does not break, we will die without being born. Break the world's shell! For the sake of revolutionizing the world!

Now in the anime the egg is a whole different thing but in the lgbtqia+ community being an egg means you are trans but do not know it yet. You have your egg cracked when you figure out that yeah you might be trans. Which I kept saying for me never happened because for the longest time I said I was gender fluid and for a while used Ze/Zir pronouns but that has changed. See for a while I would do what in the convention world is known as CrossPlay, which is to cosplay a character that is a different gender than yours and well looking back I am surprised that it took this look to figure out that yeah I am girl.

Anyway, going back to why today matters, I decided to go talk to someone about what options I have for transing my gender and found a wonderful doctor who went over everything and prescribed the first dose of estrogen that I took on Jan 30th and damn did my body like what it got. I dropped the Ze/Zir to She/Her and started to go out full time as the woman I am now. 

Another thing that happened that day that I also see as a major sign that this was the right choice (besides my health being better, that I take after my mother and grandmother, and well not hating my life), was a person on YouTube that I liked so much I give them money on Patreon and here is the video:

Identity: A Trans Coming Out Story | Philosophy Tube ★

So thank you Abigail Thorn for being there for me in a very weird way. And I just found out she has a Tumblr account so yeah check here out here: theabigailthorn.tumblr.com

I am not going to say everything has been easy, I got fired from my job at the time for being trans, I have had the governor of the state I live in want me dead, I lost a favorite books series that I connected with because the author also seems to want me dead, and I am now the scariest thing to a conservative white male, transgender.

But honestly things have gone better than I expected. My family has taken it rather well, even those who I thought would not be as open to it have started to be more comfortable about it. The con I help with well they already had me wearing a lolita outfit all weekend so that was no big deal. My friends are still my friends and really that is all I can ask. I can say that I finally no longer feel weird saying that I am a lesbian and now I can be gay and do crimes. 

So for all those that think being trans is bad or harming others, or any of the other bullshit, please again go fuck yourselves, with a rusty spike. I am living my best life and I am finally able to look into a mirror and say I love the person I see and am glad that there are others that love that person as well.

Now back to your regularly scheduled whatever else I seem to do here.

-M

[delete-the-kisses]

rant about religion/christianity below

i've thought about religion and queerness a lot recently, mostly because my friendgroup now has queer people and also a straight, religious girl.

i used to believe in god. and when i got older i just stopped believing. there was science and evidence and the internet and my baby gay brain was like "woah! i'm not a sinner because none of this shit is real!"

my family apart from my grandma and aunt aren't really religious either. my mom and dad have never repressed me or my identity and haven't tried to make me believe in anything. and don't get me wrong; i don't really have any childhood religious trauma either? so now it's like, why do i of all people care?

but it truly, truly hurts me how much of this whole fucking world is being run by major religion. why is christianity a part of literal fucking social structures? why do they teach religion in public school? (not in every country but mine) why does the president say god bless you in their speech? (once again, could be just my country.)

and another thing that hurts is that it's scientifically proven that being religious can give you brain damage. because religion refuses to change with time and the sole fucking reason humanity has survived this long is adapting to change.

i know there's accepting christians. my friend's family is incredibly accepting. my friend may be allocishet, white and christian and she's one of the most open-minded, kind, amazing people i've ever met. her family is so kind as well.

but then, there are the ones who say that being queer is a mental illness. there are the ones who invite a priest over to cure their child who just came out. there are the ones making anti trans and queer laws and banning pride flags. that's the other extreme.

most christians i've met aren't straight up hateful. they're a calm, civil, hidden kind of hateful who get kind of uneasy when there's discussion around queerness or just... something that doesn't agree with their stance.

and i GENUINELY have trouble understanding how your worldview can be centered around something that there's literally no scientific proof of. sorry (not) if this offensive but to me, it's equivalent to believing in unicorns. but i respect your beliefs and i won't make fun of you for them or hate you for them BECAUSE i refuse to be equally bad.

i also don't understand willingly being a part of something that limits the things you can do. why are you living a restricted life to get into heaven where there truly isn't any certainty that it even exists? how do you blindly trust this? isn't religion just a socially acceptable cult?

and why the fuck do you claim to accept other people's beliefs and religions but the SECOND someone's a satanist you go guns-a-blazing at them. (fun fact: satanism isn't even about the christian satan!) (fun fact 2: no queer person is going to hell for their identity and telling someone they'll go to hell is mean and disrespectful!)

is it TRULY necessary to "spread the gospel" to people? that is literally just shoving your beliefs down other people's throats... the EXACT thing you claim the lgbtqia+ community is doing. or is it only okay since it's your belief?

why are your morals based on your religion? i see shit on social media saying "atheists, what's restricting you from just killing someone if your religion isn't telling you not to?" and maybe that's an extreme example but what do you MEAN "what's restricting you"?! MAYBE MORALS? BASIC HUMAN DECENCY? like... do you find yourself lacking those??? if the bible tells you to hit your wife and support slavery do you do those things??? (the bible probably says both of those lmfao.)

so. that was my rant for today. ain't no hate like christian love, amirite? if you're christian or religious otherwise and find yourself reading this with an urge to comment "jesus loves you" or "god please help her" just save the time. every time i get a comment like that i carve a pentagram on a dead goat! xoxo

(everyone believe whatever the fuck you want i don't care but remember anyone has the right to question it. christianity is the biggest world religion btw and the "oppression" you experience stops existing when you put your phone down. stop whining at it. that's all fr byee)

[rg060295]

My Favourite Non-Fiction

Since it is Non-Fiction November, I thought I would list some of my favourite non-fiction I have read. I will admit I have not read a lot, all tend to be very sociology focused. Which makes sense as I am a social science graduate, so that is what I am still drawn towards learning and exploring in non-fiction. All the description I have listed below are from Storygraph/Goodreads, as I find it hard the official description is much better than my rambling could ever.

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen

An engaging exploration of what it means to be asexual in a world that’s obsessed with sexual attraction, and what the ace perspective can teach all of us about desire and identity.

What exactly is sexual attraction and what is it like to go through life not experiencing it? What does asexuality reveal about gender roles, about romance and consent, and the pressures of society? This accessible examination of asexuality shows that the issues that aces face—confusion around sexual activity, the intersection of sexuality and identity, navigating different needs in relationships—are the same conflicts that nearly all of us will experience. Through a blend of reporting, cultural criticism, and memoir, Ace addresses the misconceptions around the “A” of LGBTQIA and invites everyone to rethink pleasure and intimacy.

Storygraph || Goodreads || Libro.fm || Amazon ||

Disfigured: On Fairy Tales, Disability, and Making Space by Amanda Leduc

In fairy tales, happy endings are the norm—as long as you're beautiful and walk on two legs. After all, the ogre never gets the princess. And since fairy tales are the foundational myths of our culture, how can a girl with a disability ever think she'll have a happy ending?

By examining the ways that fairy tales have shaped our expectations of disability, Disfigured will point the way toward a new world where disability is no longer a punishment or impediment but operates, instead, as a way of centering a protagonist and helping them to cement their own place in a story, and from there, the world. Through the book, Leduc ruminates on the connections we make between fairy tale archetypes—the beautiful princess, the glass slipper, the maiden with long hair lost in the tower—and tries to make sense of them through a twenty-first-century disablist lens. From examinations of disability in tales from the Brothers Grimm and Hans Christian Andersen through to modern interpretations ranging from Disney to Angela Carter, and the fight for disabled representation in today's media, Leduc connects the fight for disability justice to the growth of modern, magical stories, and argues for increased awareness and acceptance of that which is other—helping us to see and celebrate the magic inherent in different bodies.

Storygraph || Goodreads || Libro.fm || Scribd || Amazon ||

Fifty Words for Snow by Nancy Campbell

From Japanese 'snow women' to Icelandic 'dog's paws,' writer and Arctic traveller Nancy Campbell digs deep into the meanings of fifty words for snow. Under her gaze, each of these linguistic snow crystals offers a whole world of myth and story.

Storygraph || Goodreads || Amazon ||

How to Read Now by Elaine Castillo

A collection of linked essays Elaine Castillo explores the politics and ethics of reading, and insists that we are capable of something better: a more engaged relationship not just with our fiction and our art, but with our buried and entangled histories. Castillo attacks the stale questions and less-than-critical proclamations that masquerade as vital discussion: reimagining the cartography of the classics, building a moral case against the settler colonialism of lauded writers like Joan Didion, taking aim at Nobel Prize winners and toppling indie filmmakers, and celebrating glorious moments in everything from popular TV like The Watchmen to the films of Wong Kar-wai and the work of contemporary poets like Tommy Pico.

Storygraph || Goodreads || Libro.fm || Amazon ||

I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

A heart-breaking and hilarious memoir by iCarly and Sam & Cat star Jennette McCurdy about her struggles as a former child actor—including eating disorders, addiction, and a complicated relationship with her overbearing mother—and how she retook control of her life.

Storygraph || Goodreads || Libro.fm || Scribd || Amazon ||

In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado

In the Dream House is Carmen Maria Machado's engrossing and wildly innovative account of a relationship gone bad, and a bold dissection of the mechanisms and cultural representations of psychological abuse. Tracing the full arc of a harrowing relationship with a charismatic but volatile woman, Machado struggles to make sense of how what happened to her shaped the person she was becoming. 

And it's that struggle that gives the book its original structure: each chapter is driven by its own narrative trope--the haunted house, erotica, the bildungsroman--through which Machado holds the events up to the light and examines them from different angles. She looks back at her religious adolescence, unpacks the stereotype of lesbian relationships as safe and utopian, and widens the view with essayistic explorations of the history and reality of abuse in queer relationships. 

Storygraph || Goodreads || Libro.fm || Scribd || Amazon ||

What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo

A memoir of reckoning and healing by acclaimed journalist Stephanie Foo, investigating the little-understood science behind complex PTSD and how it has shaped her life.

A deeply personal and thoroughly researched account, Foo interviews scientists and psychologists and tries a variety of innovative therapies. She recounts her own history, with parents who abandoned her when she was a teenager, after years of physical and verbal abuse and neglect. She returns to her hometown of San Jose, California, to investigate the effects of immigrant trauma on the community, and she uncovers family secrets in the country of her birth, Malaysia, to learn how trauma can be inherited through generations. Ultimately, she discovers that you don't move on from trauma--but you can learn to move with it.

Storygraph || Goodreads || Libro.fm || Scribd || Amazon ||

[lotrfantasy]

i haven’t had to come out since 2017. i come out to someone at least once a year. i am bisexual. i identify as gay. i’m a gender agnostic. i like girls. i still like men. being queer is a large part of my identity. i worry i like any form of non-binaryness best, and maybe that means i’m fetishizing peoples gender identity. being queer doesn’t impact my day to day life. i think about it always. in the womb, before i was born, happening every day— it doesn’t matter when i became queer, it’s one of the greatest gifts of my life. i can’t tell my grandmother. i can’t tell one of my oldest friends. i lie by omission. i talk about it too much. i was never homophobic. i curse god that i was born in 1998, and not 2008, because then maybe i wouldn’t have internalized homophobia like this. i fear that if i’d been born in 1898 i would never have unlocked this side of myself and i would have toiled as someone’s wife all my life. i fear i may still toil. i fear any man is too man for me. i fear i’ll never feel complete until i lie with woman and man and someone else, too. i couldn’t say it out loud to my family so i had to write it down instead and when they read it, i cried. i tell people i always knew i was gay. i tell people i sometimes still don’t know what i am. do straight people cover the “does your family know?” topic on the third date? it’s my duty to come out as gay so that comfortable homophobes are made uncomfortable. so that you confront your biases. so the issue is real to you. to make it easier for the next person, the next generation, so that we move forward. the A stands for ace, not ally, this truly isn’t about you. allys should be allowed in LGBTQIA+ orgs because no one should be forced to out themselves to enter a safe space. you shouldn’t take up room in the narrative if you’re cishetero, pass the microphone along. the best thing an ally can do is make a stand against their homophobic friends, family, community. take me to church, and i’ll worship like a dog. cishets are the same as us because us and them are again socially constructed. but the consequences are still real.

[werebiyourside]

Bi-Invisibility - The Abyss Stares Back

Pennasilico’s discussions of the public’s fear of the bi identity doesn’t just limit itself to the fear itself. It also shows off how the public, and the LGBT+ community, try to discount bisexuality and biromantics as not truely existing. I had talked in the first post how biphobia and misconceptions in general create a feedback loop of misinformation and fear towards the bi community, and it truly does show.

Pennasilico states the following:

Bisexual invisibility can be observed on a day-to-day basis because it is widespread and normalised in all social contexts: figures of speech, typical rhetoric, and media representation serve as prominent examples. Bisexual invisibility is due to a social phenomenon Kenji Yoshino called the epistemic contract of bisexual erasure (Yoshino, 2000). By ‘epistemic contract’, Yoshino means the social response from the heterosexual and gay communities to the fear of the threat that bisexuality poses on the current system in which these communities are invested. (2019, pp.24)

Yoshino is actually referenced in both this and Morrison et. al (I would love to read his research one day), but both Yoshino and Pennasilico point out that this is all a social phenomenon. Hate begets hate; misinformation and fear of change brings the desire to get rid of that fearful thing. The way history can make facts seem like there were either straight or gay moments - like historical figures having multiple partners as simply gay, or homosexuality in ancient Greece covering the fact that males were still expected to take wives even if relations with male students was allowed - and how politically-based terminology had “gay-spaces” or “the gay community”, “gay pride”, and only the subject of “homophobia” (2019, pp.23-24).

These words have changed over time, yet they also still very much remain. I remember in highschool my pride club being known as “Gay Straight Alliance”, which in wording is so limiting. Nowadays it’s nice that my college’s club is called “Allies” instead of pointing out one specific part of the group, and that pride is just called pride. The implications of the past, however, still feel visible in the present with the lack of visibility still on the bi community. Pennasilico’s study points out the lack of thought put into  the bi community’s mental health, and that their invisibility leads to higher cases of depression, and that the minority stress makes them less likely to seek medical help (2019, pp.25-26). Marcus (2015) similarly showed how, in much more extensive detail, the absence of thought for the bi community in legal affairs and the like harmed them. Both in what the invisibility has done to the community at large (pp.299-306) and both the evidence of erasure in litigation and the specific harms that that causes - proving your “gay enough” for immigration and sanctuary, being deemed unfit parents in custody and adoption cases due to their orientation or history, and same-sex rulings affecting the bi community in varied ways (pp.306-324) - it shows the imbalance in the legal system for proving ones worth to society. 

Change is happening to make the community and the public at large more inclusive. The bi community, in one way or another, benefits from both being recognized personally and from queer and pride communities accepting the whole LGBTQIA+ spectrum. Yet still, even in the more modern contexts, there must be more change to fully recognize that bisexuality and biromantics are real. We see them and we want to be bi their side as they get more and more recognition and respect in these talks.

Citations

Marcus, N. C. (2015). Bridging bisexual erasure in LGBT-rights discourse and litigation. Mich. J. Gender & L., 22, 291.

Pennasilico, A. (2019). The invisi_les: Biphobia, bisexual erasure and their impact on mental health. The Invisi_les: Biphobia, Bisexual Erasure and Their Impact on Mental Health, 22-28.

[mistralonyx]

My Pinned Post

Okay time for an extended about me as a pinned post. I'm trying to be more active and open in several communities. So here we are. My LinkTree is HERE.

Howdy folks. I'm Mistral and I make fantasy fetish content in a variety of mediums. I'm a geeky cishet guy (he/him) with a strong kinky dominant side. I'm 40s and in an wonderful open relationship with a super awesome non-kinky partner that allows play partners of all kinds (virtual and in person). This blog is primarily focused on my favorite kink - hypnokink. I'm into hypnosis stuff both fantasy and real.

Standard stuff: Minors DNI and please move on. Consent and Safety: ALWAYS. I don't tolerate hate or anti-LGBTQIA+ views. Trans rights are human rights. No body shaming or kink shaming. No BS directed at someone's identity, race, or orientation. I'm a feminist - burn the patriarchy (I'll happily entertain Bimbo/Stepford/Misogyny fetishes and fantasies but if you espouse that in the real world - GTFO).

Click the BLUE KEEP READING to see the rest!

I'm on Kik and several other messenger platforms. I am on FetLife (if interested, DM me - they aren't directly linked). 

My website is here: https://mistralonyx.com/

I'm into a ton of geeky shit: video games, DnD (yes, I’m a DM), TTRPGs, board games, reading, writing fantasy/sci-fi, anime/hentai, it goes on.

I have a busy family, work, and social life. My schedule can be crazy, sometimes wide open, sometimes sevens layers of chaos. I attempt to squeeze in kink and hypnosis whenever I can. If I don't get back to you right away, I might have stuff going on. Patience is appreciated.

On the subject of kink:

I have played in the hypno kink space for over 20 years. I'm very much a dom tist. I have a switch side, but it takes a special trusted partner. I'm primarily drawn to women subjects (transwomen are women) but I've been known to help some guys drop too. I'm het but do lean hypnosexual. I adore my hypno partners and am a nurturing dom at heart.

I'm open to hypno kinky sessions in a variety of forms: text only, voice, video, and in-person. I prefer to set expectations and boundaries up front. I've had and still seek short and long term play partners. My preferred kinks are many (gestures to the blog) but some highlights are brainwashing, turning subs into very good girls, controlling their pleasure, and using it as a means to totally mind blank them. If you'd like to play online - DM me. Let's see if things click. You want to play in person and are in the DFW area - DM me, maybe we'll surprise each other.

A lot of the content I make on this site is Fantasy CNC (Consensual Non-Consent). Emphasis on the FANTASY part. I don't condone ANY real NC or violation of ANY kind. If that's your thing - fuck right off. Consent. Consent. Consent. That said - CNC Play is hot as fuck if done well. If curious, ask. Or check out any of the numerous fantasy posts on the blog.

You may have noticed that much of my work used to involve pictures and now doesn't. This is for two reasons. The first - Tumblr's draconian rules. The second... I'm evolving ethical issues in using content posted elsewhere in forms I was not given rights for. I still make some exceptions but mostly its from big market porn content. You want to chat on this - let's do it. I'd love to hear perspectives. You want to MAKE some custom content with me? Let's chat - I'm game.

That's about it. I'll throw this thing up here but it's strange because my boxes between subject and tist vary (https://onceeternal.github.io/KinkList/hypnosis/v1.html)

Always looking for friends, subjects, and good girls. Play safe out there, folks. And break those brains. ;)