#but if i'm being honest I REALLY like how things go wrong one particular way

[kisskissbanggang]

Jumpspace Renegade - ep. 8 ✨🚀

[4.3k words, 15 min. read - Skz x Fem. Reader - Stray Kids Multi Fic, Scifi!au, Choose Your Own Adventure - SFW/Smut in Other Chapters - Changlix, Seungmin is a Flirt and a Fiend, Banter and Tension, Harmless Pranks, Infidelity, Scifi Guns, Always Check the Tags]

[Episodes on Fridays 7pm pst, Polling closes Saturdays 7pm pst]

[Series Masterlist | Come Say Hi!]

“How about a deal,” Minho offered. “Where you stop, I’ll stop. If you get dumped at the Hatchery or Sentury or whatever, I’ll detour with you if you’ll come with me to Victory Meridian.”

You thought about this. “Only me?”

“Only you,” Minho nodded. “I can't risk recruiting the crew; I don't trust them.”

“And if I don’t?”

“What, like if you decide to be a good crewmate and sell me out? That’s allowed, too. You can just say no. You can just tell me ‘goodnight, Minho’ and I’ll drop it.”

“That’s it?” you asked, your voices hushed in the more open service corridors. 

“I mean, I’ll stop trusting you, that’s all.”

You heavily considered your choices, but ultimately understood where the two of you sat in this scenario. All you had to do was say yes. All Minho expected was for you to say yes. And he may even expect that you'll turn on him if the situation gets bad enough. 

It was an easy decision. 

Minho was closing in on you against the wall of the service passage, pressing up real cozy again. 

“Goodnight, Minho,” you cooed. 

The outlaw’s gaze almost cracked. 

“I'm kidding,” you laughed. “I’m with you. I’ll let you know if anything interesting comes up before we land on Phaborus.”

Minho looked bewildered for a second, and even more when you leaned in to kiss his cheek goodnight. He staunchly rebuffed the move, leaning back an inch. “Good. No more of that, though.”

“Because I joked?!”

“No,” Minho shook his head, “I don't fool around with wingmen. It gets messy. Get some shut-eye.”

It was your turn to look bewildered when Minho lifted his cuffed hands to ruffle your hair and promptly leave. 

“That’s fine!” you called after him. “I’ll just send Jisung down next time I'm thinking of you!”

“Good!” Minho repeated over his shoulder. “He and I have unfinished business.”

You watched Minho head back to the cargo hold before you remembered how dumb you just were. Your cabin door was still locked, wasn't it? That’s what got you out here in the first place. You peeked into your room.  

Only to find that it wasn't locked at all. It was open. 

You climbed back up into your cabin, only to find that the hatch in your closet was open, too. Chan must have come in at some point to set you free. 

You tiptoed out to the workshop, seeing if there were any signs of life in here. The tarp covering the boat was pulled off, and when you crept closer for a curious look, you found Felix and Changbin tangled together under a blanket on deck, dozing like babies. 

Sleep sounded great. 

The events of the day caught up to you all at once. Your shoulders ached in a soreness that radiated down through to your hips. You dragged yourself into the shower for a much needed full-body scrub, and finally into bed. Astral clouds and fields of stars escorted you to sleep. 

Hours elapsed. 

Sleeping here still felt leagues better than back home. 

You were only sort of surprised that you were up again shortly after midday. Your room was still set to have ambient light that would change depending on the time of the day cycle, so you'd actually managed to sleep through hours of light. 

The ship was still largely quiet when you took a look around, but a voice called out to you when you entered the galley. 

“Hey, you’re up already!” 

You turned to see Changbin poking his head into the doorway of his cabin. He waved you over. 

“Come help me with something, would you?”

You nodded, attentively trotting into the mechanic's cabin. Today, given how warm the ship still felt (even after cooling off for hours) you’d opted for a breathable long-sleeve top with some cargo shorts, much roomier and comfier than yesterday's workout set. Your new boots still squeaked on the metal floor. 

Changbin’s cabin was attractively clean, maybe not methodically spotless but still organized and well-kept. A pull-up bar was welded onto the back of his cabin door and a set of weights sat in the corner under his packed bookshelf. His open closet was outfitted with extra compartments in the shelves. On the bed, Changbin had two outfits laid out. 

“We never go anywhere as nice as Phaborus lately,” Changbin explained. “I mean, it's the Hatchery, so it’s all tourists and fishing companies, but I missed going out. Trying to figure out what to wear before I go wash up and shave.”

The chosen outfits surprised you. Solely based on what you knew about Phaborus, you’d assumed the whole planet was tropical, but Changbin had pulled out rain gear and other stylishly warmer options. He picked up the black shirt on the left and held it up to his chest in the mirror on the inside of the closet door before grabbing the gray shirt on the right and doing the same. 

You took a seat at Changbin's desk. The surface was an amalgam of his personal tools, his accessories and colognes, and an amusingly sizable collection of pictures. A notable amount of the photos were of Felix, all freckles and beaming smiles. One photo featured Changbin with two women that he shared a charming resemblance with. You picked it up, enjoying the idea of having a family out there. Behind the picture, however, was another. This photo was of a woman. A gorgeous redhead. 

“Who’s this?” you casually asked. 

Changbin looked at you holding the other photo. “Spitting image, right? My sister and my mom,” he coolly answered. “I’m thinking the gray is a little more flattering today. Maybe with the task boots?”

You did a double take at the photos before realizing Changbin hadn't answered your question. The misunderstanding nagged at you, but before you could ask again he came over, plucking a watch up off a little display stand. It wasn’t overtly flashy, but it was noticeably nice. 

“Did I show you? Felix got it for me,” he gushed. “He knows me so well.”

“You two are so close,” you complimented. 

“We are,” Changbin nodded. “I’ve never felt seen by anyone the way Felix sees me.”

You marveled over that. It sounded so easy for him to say. “He sees you?”

Changbin nodded affirmatively again, this time choosing between bags. “Yeah. I feel like I'm really myself around him. I don't think I've felt that way around anyone before, honestly. I'd leave everything behind in a heartbeat if he said the same thing.”

Everything? Aside from the family you weren't sure what much more there was to leave behind. 

“Hey, did you eat yet?” Changbin suddenly asked, getting your attention back. 

You sat up straight, setting the photo down and shaking your head. Changbin pointed out towards the galley. 

“If my nose doesn't deceive me,” he continued, “I think you can grab a bite before everyone else wakes up.”

Sure enough, something delicious was wafting in from the kitchen. You got up from the desk and picked up one of the two bags, the handsome, waxed canvas crossbody, and plonked it in his hands. He affectionately booted you out before closing the door behind you. 

Out in the galley, Jisung was sat alone in the booth. An unopened iced coffee waited on the table while he peacefully dozed in his upright position. Back in the kitchen, Felix helped Jeongin with the cooking. They spied you coming in nonetheless, not nearly as distracted as the activity would suggest. Before Jeongin could step away, Felix reassuringly patted his shoulder before greeting you with a wide smile. You managed to be the first to grab a scone and proudly had half of it in your mouth already.

“Morning, dude,” he grinned. “You think you can round everyone up and make them eat something? I have a plate saved for you in the warmer.”

“Oh!” you absently responded, your mouth still stuffed full. “Sure?” It was a little maddening to let all the food wait without you, but it wasn’t like you couldn’t get it done and do Felix a favor. You ran through a quick roster of who Felix would be referring to. That would be Seungmin, Hyunjin, and Chan, right? And you’d have to see if Minho was awake, you supposed. You nodded your acceptance to Felix and set about your task.

You first trotted down to the cargo hold, seeing if your suspicions were correct. Sure enough, Minho was sleeping like a baby in the brig, all wrapped up under his coat. Two rooms faced you behind the staircase to return upstairs. You tried the open door first. Upon finding no Hyunjin, you guessed that this could be Jeongin’s cabin. It was mysteriously empty, lacking the accumulation of stuff the other crewmates had. Some trinkets and a couple photos decorated the space, maybe having been picked up on his travels with the crew thus far. You remembered Jisung mentioning that the cabin boy had been a stowaway, too. It was easy to get distracted wondering where he’d come from, what he was leaving behind. 

Back on track, you tried the other door and were surprised to find this cabin pitch dark, save for one small lamp casting a blue glow. Hyunjin carefully inspected something on his desk with a pair of magnification glasses and some sort of meter. A pair of headphones snug on his ears were blasting music. You leaned closer over his shoulder. As it turned out, the tiny object was actually a small picture, maybe even a painting by how the arm on the meter gingerly scratched the piece’s surface. You accidentally leaned forward an inch too far, pressing into Hyunjin’s back and making him jump. 

“Holy shit!” Hyunjin wheezed, whipping off the glasses and headphones. He flipped on a regular lamp and wheeled around on you, catching his breath. 

“I’m sorry!” you apologized with a wince. “You looked busy.”

“It’s okay,” Hyunjin waved you off with a small laugh. “Did you come to finally ask me about your Clessorian ring?”

You ogled him. “How did you know?”

Hyunjin shrugged. “I’m not interested in stealing it, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Too much trouble?” you joked.

“We’re locked in a tin can together,” Hyunjin smirked. “Not a great idea to steal from anyone here if I don’t plan on making a sale.”

“Admirable. Where are you selling that?” you asked, gesturing towards the little painting.

Hyunjin’s eyes lit up. “This? I’d never sell this. Maybe trade, if requested, but I’m actually returning it when we get to the Hatchery.” He placed the small picture in your hands. Looking at it closer, it depicted a gorgeous treeline and dark blue waves, accented in white seafoam. “Isn’t it great? I found it the last time we were in a convoy.”

“What is it exactly?” you wondered.

“It’s a Phaborian mating pendant,” Hyunjin explained. “Phaborians present these to their potential partners; it’s supposed to depict their future home and life together. Poor ones make them themselves, rich ones get them commissioned, and generic ones are mass produced for the tourist trade. This one just happens to be of the Hatchery, so I’m finding somewhere to return it when I’m done trading. I’m just testing it to make sure it’s, y’know, not one of the tourist ones.”

You examined the painted pendant in your hand. The delicate brushstrokes scratched the pad of your thumb gingerly passing over the surface. It’d be cool to get one of these, you mused. You thought of Changbin and Felix. 

Yeah. It’d be nice to have something like that someday.

“You want to come along when I go trading?” asked Hyunjin, gently taking the pendant back from you. “The market at the Hatchery is pretty neat.”

“I’d love that. It sounds fun,” you grinned appreciatively. You nodded back out to the hold. “But first you should grab something to eat.”

“Fair enough,” Hyunjin nodded, setting his work down and following you back up to the galley.

Jisung was still sleeping where you left him, and you couldn’t help yourself. You grabbed a nutrient shake from the cooler and swapped out the cans, taking his still unopened coffee for yourself. One of the little love bites Minho left Jisung was still an angry purple on his neck.

You jogged up the stairs, finding no apparent signs of life but faced with the task of trying to access Chan’s door for the first time. The door was clearly outlined in the alcove of the staircase but lacked an apparent knob or switch or lever or anything. You looked the door up and down. There was a quaint little pattern lining the door. Three little squares recessed into the metal panel, and then two further down, and three again, alternating all the way around until–

Oh. Well, duh.

The sequence broke, leaving a chain of three lined-up squares in a column of three. You felt around these, until the center of the center line lit up.

Cute.

You crept into Chan’s room, the right way. There was no sign of activity around; no hint of the captain being awake, and then you finally caught your prize: a blanketed lump on the bed. 

Coming closer, Chan was curled up under his thick blanket. You stroked his hair and got no response. You pinched his cheek with the same result. Dead asleep.

But, to your delight, his cybernetic leg was exposed. The need to meddle returned. He did cuff you and lock you in your cabin the previous night, after all. You leaned down, taking Chan’s foot at the articulated joint of his ankle and manually twisting it the wrong way around. 

Take that, you gloated internally. 

You straightened back up, ready to leave when a hand grabbed your leg. You screeched.

“Put it back,” Chan grumbled into his pillow, eyes not even opening to look at you.

You froze, trying to get your wits back about you before automatically cooperating.

“Lee back in the hold?” he groggily asked, still muffled. You nodded before you remembered he wasn’t seeing you.

“Yes, dear,” you sarcastically cooed.

“Atta girl,” he praised sleepily. He affectionately patted your leg before simply grabbing the iced coffee out of your hand. You let him, waiting a bit to see if that was what he needed to get up.

No further activity.

“You’ll miss chow time,” you chided him.

“Sucks for me then. Now go on.”

He waved you away. You thoroughly rolled your eyes, using the far more convenient access on this side of the door to exit Chan’s cabin. 

That left the navigator. You peeked around the corner to check the navigation office. Nothing. However, more music was blasting inside Seungmin’s cabin beside it. You knocked, trying to stop yourself from barging in wherever you wanted. No answer. You thought about this. 

Well, you didn’t want Seungmin to miss meal time. You poked your head in.

The navigator was busily working at his desk, touching up a physical chart laid out in front of him. Surprising you this time, Seungmin turned to regard you before you had a chance to make your presence known. 

“I see you like sneaking,” he grinned.

“I’ve come to profess my love for you,” you dramatically admitted.

“Ugh, finally,” Seungmin smirked. You got a better look at the chart now. In big letters in the caption read GALLORIAN STRAIT, PHABORUS AKA “THE HATCHERY”.

“You're still working on the charts?” you questioned.

“Hey,” the navigator chuckled, “you’re the intruder, I’m asking the questions here. Now what’s this I hear about a ring made out of Clessorian ore?”

Your eyes widened. Your fists instantly clenched. You were agog, mouth opening and closing like a grounded fish.

“How does everyone know?!”

Seungmin laughed out loud, eyes turning up and all. “Word gets around! Anyway, it’s not like I want to steal it, so calm the hell down. I have much bigger fish to fry if you can’t tell.”

“I thought the whole idea with the detour was that you were finished,” you wondered.

The navigator took a second, taking his glasses off and massaging his temples. “Yeah, I thought so, too. But I failed to recall that Phaborian sailors prefer to keep physical charts on board in case their systems go down. I had my final meeting with my customers and they’re like, ‘oh, we’re filling out the customs request, they want to know if you’re using packing tubes or packing sleeves’ and I’m like, ‘packing what’ and that’s when I remembered I’m actually a moron.”

“Ouch,” you sympathized. “Can I help at all?”

“You wanna come along when I make the drop?” Seungmin asked. “I can always use backup.”

“Oh,” you realized, “I’d love to! But I meant like here and now. Like, I’m no good with this but I could maybe bring you something to eat?”

A tough sigh fell out of Seungmin’s chest. He hung his head before getting up. “No, I should take a break.”

“Great,” you smiled reassuringly before you dramatically gestured again. “But you mustn’t tell anyone of our sordid affair.”

You laughed off your own dumb joke with a shake of your head, but that was before Seungmin grabbed your wrist and pulled you in nice and close. A pathetic, gasped curse eked out of you. His hands were wrapped around your waist. 

“You are such a little troublemaker, you know that?” he laughed, smooth and low. “I already told you, you don’t want to play with me like that; I get jealous, remember?”

You wriggled out of Seungmin’s grip and he ran after you when you fled, trying to keep your composure. He was shockingly suave, apparently, daunting after he seemed so unassuming. He instantly caught up with you when you made it to the top of the stairs, spinning you around and caging you in again. It was unexpectedly difficult to meet his gaze. First, you felt ridiculously bashful for some reason, and second, when you did look, he was giving you the most sly grin that made your heart beat faster than your encounter with Minho.

“You don’t even know what you’d do with me, do you,” Seungmin chuckled.

“Aren’t I the one that’s supposed to be asking that?” you tried to retort.

Seungmin nodded. “Sure, but I don’t think you know what you’re even doing. Surprising, given how clever you come across as.”

“Who says I’m not clever?” you giggled, far more nervously than you intended.

What the hell was going on? You never got flustered like this before. 

“You don’t do this a lot, do you, Nova?” Seungmin grinned. “You don’t spend a lot of time having someone’s full attention.”

I mean, you internally babbled, like outside of the bedroom?

It was stupidly true. Dating was never really your thing, and especially not when you had a parole officer following your every move. And it wasn’t like there were many options back in T’kaarm. You either knew everyone or they were all tourists. Perfect for passing flings, sure, but not really suitable for whatever the hell Seungmin was currently hypnotizing you with.

“What’re you looking for here?” you finally asked him. 

Seungmin’s lips were agonizingly close to yours but he wouldn’t lean in any further. “I just thought you were looking for a game of chicken. I’m really good at it. Are you?”

He did lean in now, just another centimeter. Your breath hitched in your throat.

When the resounding snap of blaster fire rocked the staircase. Both your attentions whipped to look down the stairs when another blast caught the railing. You could hear more commotion now.

“Felix!”

You and Seungmin traded worried looks before cautiously making your way downstairs. What you found out there was surprising.

Most noticeable was Felix, brandishing the blaster and trying to get around Jisung, with the pilot awake and madly trying to corral him. And Felix’s aim? Trained on a very distressed Changbin, wearing only a towel after his shower.

“A WIFE, CHANGBIN?!” Felix roared. He ducked into his cabin next to Changbin’s and was tossing things out, likely belonging to the mechanic.

Changbin caught a black hoodie to the face before Jisung could intercept, uselessly trying to herd Felix back into his cabin while Jeongin tried to escort Changbin into his.

“Baby, no–” Changbin brokenly tried to reason with him.

“Baby, nothing, you son of a bitch!” Felix seethed. “A boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever? Sure, that’d suck but I’ve had worse. A kid? I’d deal with that. But you’re fucking married?”

Seungmin tried to grab your sleeve before you could take a few more steps down the stairs, but you shook him off. You still didn't enter the galley, though, opting instead to hang out in the stairwell. 

Felix tried to duck around Jisung again before he was promptly tripped and wrestled down to the floor. The two grappled, with Jisung taking an errant elbow to the eyepatch. He squealed out a curse before fixing it and getting back on track. 

“Felix? Sweetheart?” Jisung frantically tried to get his attention. “What the fuck is going on?”

“Married, Jisung!” Felix shouted back. “Can you believe I'm so stupid?! He’s always telling me ‘no, baby, not my room, it’s a mess’ and I've been blind enough to accept that shit?!”

Jisung sat up on Felix’s hips, but not without wrestling the blaster away. Hyunjin jumped forward to grab it and keep it safely out of reach, hugging it to his chest. “Yeah, no, honey,” Jisung babbled, “you’re right; that’s shitty. Did something happen, though?”

“So I decide I'll wait for Changbin while he’s in the shower! Maybe be helpful and clean, fuck if I know! And what do I find on his computer?”

Jisung stared. All the men stared, except for Changbin, who was looking at the floor with his hands on his hips.

“A message from this mystery wife!” Felix laughed hysterically. “She’s wondering where the deposit is for the month! Doesn't he know they have a house to pay for?!”

The door to Changbin’s cabin slammed closed, and Jeongin worriedly opened it again to run after him. His door shut far more calmly now. 

“Fuck, Felix,” Jisung sighed. “That sucks, love. I'm so sorry.”

The pilot finally leaned off of Felix’s slim frame. Felix sat up now, arms resting on his drawn up knees. He hung his head with his own deep exhale. “I’m the sorry one,” he lamented. 

“Anything we can do?” Hyunjin asked from where he was still plastered to the wall. 

“Just some space would be great, thanks.” Felix got up to his feet and tersely threw his cabin door open. You all winced when the door roughly clanked shut behind him. 

“Well…” Seungmin finally piped up behind you. “I guess I'm taking that break.”

The four of you were awkward when you reassembled at the booth. You’d grabbed the plate Felix promised you, and with both Chan and Minho still sleeping, everyone else managed to grab some food. The air at the table was tense.

“So this is the worst one, right?” Hyunjin asked into his plate. 

“What, Felix and Changbin fighting?” Jisung questioned. He opened the nutrient shake you’d set in front of him and took a big swig. Upon realizing it wasn’t the coffee he’d originally grabbed, he reeled, nearly sputtering it out. He did a double take at the can. You sheepishly slid over a new iced coffee in front of him. You'd grabbed it when you realized now might not be the time for harmless pranks. 

“Well, like,” Hyunjin processed, “there was that time with Felix and that waitress at Sentury.”

“And the time when Changbin got drunk at the Caravan,” Seungmin contributed. 

“And the time when Felix took that bet at Saykorr,” Hyunjin nodded. “But this one is big. This one feels major.”

“Yeah, this is the worst out of all of those,” Jisung decided. “Maybe some space could be good for both of them?”

Seungmin thought about this. “I can take Changbin with me to go drop off the charts,” he suggested. 

Hyunjin agreed with a nod. “And I was already going to bring Felix with Nova and I to the market.”

“Can I come?” Jisung asked Hyunjin. “I could pick up a couple things while you're there.”

The navigator paused his current chew of food. “Nova’s going with you to the market? She already said she was coming with me.”

The three of you – you, Hyunjin, and Seungmin – all looked at each other. Jisung scanned all of your faces, too, massively awkward and confused while he drank his coffee. 

“Well?” he finally asked, breaking the silence. He caught his breath for a second, like he’d swallowed too much at once in the tension. You gave the pilot a sideways look in the booth. “What do you wanna do?”

You froze, considering your options with a lump in your throat. There was the obvious choice of doing nothing, of course. You could avoid the awkwardness altogether and stay behind, but you’d miss out on Phaborus. 

And if you went, it’d be really interesting to see a Phaborian fishing company, but Seungmin was already doing really well at getting under your skin. But Changbin would be coming along, too, and it'd be reassuring to get his side of the story. You liked Changbin. It sucked to think he was a no–good cheater. There had to be something in the story that no one knew. 

However, if you tagged along with Hyunjin, you could connect with Felix and check out the market. You could hang out with Jisung, comfort Felix, and see Hyunjin in his element while he went trading. It could very well be way more enjoyable all around.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Ok, I think I have a pretty good idea of why a lot of Akechi's dialogue is... like that.

So, even before his confidant truly started, I noticed that he has a real knack for directing the flow of a conversation. This is very fitting for someone who is both a detective and skilled at interviews - when there is a topic and a goal, Akechi is in his element.

All this to say, he's actually kind of controlling when it comes to conversational flow. He probes for information, or turns the conversation around to a particular topic, usually the Phantom Thieves. He manages to take a few of Joker's dialogue options and spin them so they sound mildly incriminating in the context he's placed them in - the only way to truly get around this is to pick answers that feign indifference, and even then, that's more than a bit telling. He's clearly very good at this kind of thing.

But then, we get conversations where either Joker does something he didn't expect, or else he doesn't have a particular goal in mind - and the conversation stutters. In the first instance, Joker does something (a particularly egregious example is putting his glasses on him and fluffing his hair in rank 3) which both leaves him wrong-footed and no longer in perfect control of the situation. He just kind of... freezes, for awhile. It's hilarious. He has no idea how to respond.

He picks up control again in the phone call afterwards, having chosen to play into it, turning this "fooling the crowds" into a kind of game or secret between them. Nice save.

But in instances where there isn't an obvious topic and the goal is somewhat nebulous, for instance, that one Leblanc scene, it becomes pretty apparent that Akechi doesn't have the right "script" to go off of. Again, it's particularly notable in that scene, because I'm fairly sure he didn't have any specific reason to be at Leblanc, other than him looking for a quiet spot now that public opinion has turned on him. And because there isn't anything specific he's digging for, he kind of just ends up throwing things at the wall to see what will stick. Probing for any kind of recognizable reaction that he can jump on and work with, and that just doesn't really happen in this scene.

He references Sae, a woman in a respectable position, to Sojiro, but instead of that netting a welcome, it earns his ire, given Sae's recent actions against him. He then tries to greet Joker, his... rival? friend? enemy? person who at least seems to somewhat enjoy spending time with him? But Joker's responses are somewhat short, and Akechi practically wilts. He tries to commiserate by oversharing. He tries to involve Futaba and reaches out for the only topic of interest he can think of around "young people". He compliments the coffee. He compliments Joker. He tries to invoke that connection between them. None of it is really sticking, nor does it serve as a jumping off point for him to steer the conversation, or even really start one.

So, he basically just ends up having a one-sided chat with himself and then leaves. Hilarious. Also a little sad, if I'm being honest. It's really giving "guy with no friends who only knows how to speak to adults" energy. If there's no specific purpose to the exchange, or he is not in control of its direction, he seems to be kind of out of his depth. He succeeds only in being a little awkward and confusing, more than anything.

[violetasteracademic]

Why do you think gwyn would be added as a love interest for azriel if they don’t end up as endgame? Why complicate the love triangle between elain/lucien/azriel?

Hello my lovely anon!

It can sometimes be hard to tell where the anonymous asks in my inbox are coming from. It is never my intention to argue or try to convince any other ships why they are wrong. I tag my work very carefully, ask my beloved rebloggers to do the same, and just want to stay in a cozy bubble. I think all ships are allowed, and the time I spend here breaking down the text and providing analysis is only for fun and comfort. I don't ever want or wish for my posts to end up in the wrong tags. Now that I've gotten that disclaimer out of the way, this is an ask where I can't *totally* tell what perspective it is coming from, but I am assuming it is being asked in good faith and I will answer how I typically do.

Point blank, I do not believe G/wyn was introduced as a love interest. Only Elain was.

I don't really know that I have anything else to add to that conversation, because people either think it was romantic or it wasn't. But I will say that I assume we can all agree on all sides that the bonus chapter is what led to the fervor of the G/wynriel ship as G/wyn quite literally replacing Elain as the romantic interest and not just a fun, enjoyable ship for those who don't jive with Elriel and want to carve out a space for themselves in the fandom. And as someone who has read all of SJM's bonus chapters and not just this one, I'm going to provide side by side comparisons using *only* bonus chapters that I can almost guarantee many people have not read- since most people don't read the bonus chapters. I still get comments on old tiktoks every day asking what the Azriel bonus chapter is and where to find it. And not once have I ever been asked about the myriad of other BC's out there.

Crescent City Spoilers ahead:

House of Sky and Breath has three bonus chapters. There is one in particular that is almost a carbon copy of G/wyn and Azriel's portion in his POV bonus, and it is the Tharion POV chapter with Hypaxia:

^^Both men head to a place where they assumed they would be alone, minds heavy and restless and needing to work off some tension before they could sleep- only to find their space already occupied.

^^They both flounder a bit with social niceties, awkwardness, being polite, the other person clearly wanting to be alone, and yet wind up falling into a conversation anyway.

^^ Both pairs experience surprise at being asked questions no one has ever asked them before. They also reveal information about themselves- and notably- both bonus chapters reveal heavy backstory or indications about unique or hidden powers.

^^ Both men experience some sort of lingering sensation that they could have sworn was happening after saying goodnight.

And last but not least:

Both Tharion and Azriel end on a particularly strong emotional note. Tharion is passing notes through Fitz back and forth with Hypaxia. He notes how he has never had such an instant, honest, and deep connection. He won't let anyone interfere with her birthright, and if she was in danger, he would risk everything he had to protect Hypaxia.

Azriel is secretly regifting a necklace to Gwyn, and feels truly happy at the thought that it might make her happy. He likes and respects her and is glad to think of being able to make her smile. (I of course think there is a reason for this, which I've broken down here but I also don't think it's necessary to minimize their friendship for this post.)

If you look at these two bonus chapters side by side, they are literally a copy and paste. Two people needing to be alone and winding up together, talking about things they have never talked about anyone with, and both men really powerfully feeling the strength and depth of a connection. And if you read Tharion's chapter in full, there are actually way more details of him talking about how beautiful and gorgeous she is, and how he has to stop himself from going down that road. But did this set up Hypaxia and Tharion as romantic love interests?

Nope. Hypaxia is queer as queer can be. Kitty only on her menu. But they develop a very genuine and close friendship. Because the thing is, SJM writes an incredible amount of deep and meaningful friendships between men and women. And they are always a blend of emotion, intimacy, a bit fun and flirty, full of banter, and true trust and connection. So as far as BC's, Azriel and G/wyn and Tharion and Hypaxia are the only comparable ones in her catalogue. And they are pretty damn comparable. It's also important to note that the Tharion and Hypaxia bonus chapter was included in the book where she is very much revealed as 100% queer and not even a little bi, so it's not like SJM was trying to create a red herring or a conversation. That's just how she writes her hetero platonic friendships. Take it up with her, man.

Meanwhile, the things that make it clear that a romantic interest is being introduced occurs in the Elain portion, and can be directly compared to the Nessian bonus chapter. Both men being willing to beg on their knees for a taste. Both men absolutely losing their minds over Elain and Nesta's scents. Both men knowing it was wrong, it was stupid, but being unable to stop themselves anyway. Both men having issues of what their family would think if they found out introduced (only Rhys DID find out and laid down that forbidden romance hard.)

Here's the thing- many people read Elain and Azriel as romantic for over four books and there were people out there like, nah, I don't see it, they are more like brother and sister. And then the bonus chapter confirmed, no, actually, they are wildly down bad and desperate for each other. Wanting to taste and touch and kiss each other- romantic interest confirmation. Fun and banter-y conversation occurring because two people needed to be alone but actually wound up in the same vicinity as someone else and had a deep conversation and talked about things they've never spoken about with anyone before-Platonic friendship. You can disagree. But it doesn't change the fact that right now, a group of fans are interpreting G/wyn and Azriel's interactions as romantic, and preferring it to Elain and Azriel's confirmed romantic interactions.

Sarah did not add G/wyn as a love interest and complicate things. The fandom did. Until Azriel is not sleeping, not thinking clearly, down bad desperate to get on his knees for G/wyn- and until G/wyn leans into his touch and says yes, they are actually currently friends. Could that change in the future? Totally. But Sarah literally has not written it yet.

I don't mind that the G/wyn ship exists. I love her. I have real life G/wynriel friends who are not online like we are. They are good people with good hearts who have different taste in Azriel's potential romance than me. They don't ride at dawn for Elain like I do, nor are they violently misogynistic against her or being toxic and hateful towards other women online. They just liked G/wyn's story and want more of her. That's okay. But it is important to pay attention to what has actually been written vs. what is being assumed by a group of people that openly dislike the only female character remaining with a confirmed book and who has been confirmed as a love interest.

Read Sarah's other bonus chapters! They are fun. Azriel's isn't the only one that has ever existed, but it seems like that sometimes (and I'll admit, it's amazing and I love it so fair). And nothing happened in the bonus chapter that is going to change the course or foreshadow to anything new. Not everyone has access to them, and bonus chapters do not create new plot. They are just an incentive to make money and secure pre-orders.

I think that's everything! You guys are awesome for reading these insanely long posts and vibing with me here. ily.

[magics-neptunes-things]

Feelings (2)

Hi!

This is the second part of Feelings, I hope you will like it too :)

I'm taking things slow for now, but some other things would happens in the next chapter.

Feel free to let me think what you think about it.

And enjoy! ♥

TW : Mention of smut

PART 1 |

______________________________________________________________

The next day, when you woke up, you stay with your eyes closed. You remember perfectly what happened last night, but you are scared. Scared that it was a dream or that Alessia was in reality drunk and thought you take advantage of her. You would never do something like that obviously, you asked her several times yesterday if she was ok and if what you are doing is ok too. And asks for her consent before each new movement too.

And you know you are not dreaming; you have some aches that are particular of this kind of activities.

When you open your eyes, Alessia is still in your bed. Lying on her side, she’s looking at you. And you are straight in the light blue of her eyes, but you can’t determine what feelings are in it.

“Hi” you say softly.

“Hello” she answers only.

“Did you sleep well?”

She nods, before rolling on her back to rub her eyes. She putted her shirt back during the night, but that’s not what you realize. She seems a little strange this morning, like something is bothering her. Once again, you don’t expect everything from her, maybe it was just a one-time thing for her. So you get up from your bed, looking for your clothes too.

With a shirt, you fell better to have a difficult conversation. You sit on the bed right after, looking at Alessia. You can’t remember how many times you told her that she’s beautiful yesterday. But she is this morning too. You don’t say it anyway, only looking at her. She seems nervous and almost breathless when she finally talks.

“Look Y/N…”

She seems lost too and you already have understood. You raise your hand and she looks at you.

“It’s ok, Lessi. If you want to pretend that nothing ever happened… It’s ok.”

“It’s not that I didn’t want to yesterday or even today. But I feel like this is maybe not the right time to start something like this. We are at the beginning of the World Cup and…”

“It’s ok” you repeat, cutting her again.

The bitterness that fills your mouth make you unable to offer her a real smile, the one you are making now must looks like a grimace to be honest. You don’t know what she understood about your feelings yesterday, and you don’t know if the way she looks really sorry helps you or not.

“I better go.”

You only nod, not being able to speak or even look at her when she takes her other clothes, all around the room on the floor. She kisses your cheek softly and left the room soon after. And you never feel so empty in your life.

********

Some days passed. You and your team played other games and managed to qualify for the next round of the tournament. You never talk to Alessia again after that morning and you can’t even just look at her. You told her that it was ok, and you really thought that you were going to be ok. One night with her was way more than what you ever expected.

But you were wrong. What’s happening to you right now is way more difficult to deal with than your breakup with Alma. People don’t come to talk to you, assuming that you were struggling with that. It was a good excuse.

You only talk about what happened to Maya and Sofia, a good friend you made in Spain. Maya met her several times when she came to Barcelona to see you. You even make some videos call the three of you, your friends trying to ease your mind.

“But she said basically that it wasn’t the right time. It means that maybe when the World Cup is ending…” was saying Sofia.

“There is no way that it’s happening, Sofia. She doesn’t even look at me.”

It would be stupid of yourself to still be hopeful about something like this. The only time you had eyes contact, she looks the other way so fast that her eyes must have burn.

“Maybe she regrets what happened between us” you sigh, pinching your nose.

“No, I know Less” Maya answers. “She would have told you if it was something like this. She doesn’t take things so easy, making a think to regret it the day after. She only had two boyfriends and sleeping around isn’t her thing.”

Maya knows Alessia well, they played together for years in Manchester United. You are a little jealous sometimes, but in another way, it would be harder to see her every day. You feel a little better hearing Maya and for one time you fall asleep without too much struggle.

Next morning, like every morning, you get for a walk on the beach after the breakfast. You ate with Georgia and Keira, who takes you under their wing, probably at Leah’s request. But they were still busy, and you don’t want to be a burden for them.

You were sitting on the beach you discovered at your first day here when you feel a presence behind you. Turning, you realize that it’s Lucy.

“You alright Kiddo?” she asks, and you answer with a smile. “Mind if I sit with you?”

“Nah, please do.”

Lucy sits and looks at the water in front of you when you resume your looking. Some peaceful minutes passed before Lucy talks.

“I know I’m not the most observant person in the world, but I see how much you struggle those days. You’re making a good job hiding it and I probably wouldn’t be able to realize it if I never passed by the same things.”

Curious, you look at Lucy. You were close with her, more than with Keira to be honest. You are the only three English at Barcelona, it helps to create a great bond.

“When Keira and I broke up…”

“Oh. No Luce, I stop you right there. It has nothing to do with my breakup with Alma.”

Lucy looks at you curiously too, her arms around her knees.

“What I wanted to say, it’s that maybe you can think it’s the end of your world. But life has sometimes something better looking for you. Look at my old ass, I still found something even better that what I had.”

“Ona?” you ask with a smirk.

You can’t help but laugh when you see the light red coloring Lucy’s cheeks.

“Lucy Bronze, are you blushing?”

“I’m trying to help you and you give it back to me by making fun of me?”

She looks disappointed but you know that she is only joking. You laugh softly and decide to tease her a little bit.

“Ok, when do you present her to me then if she’s so perfect? I’m way closer to her age than you are.”

“Shut up.”

She throws you some sand and you laugh a little more before looking up at the sky. It’s bright blue, the sun is shinning and you really love the Australian vibes. But you think about Lucy’s words, and you decide to ask her the question that is running in your mind.

“What am I supposed to do if Life gave me the best thing and take it back from me?”

Lucy stays silenced for some times, and you know that she’s looking at the best answer she can give you.

“If it’s the one thing you have to have, then you will have it back. Maybe it wasn’t the right time now.”

It’s funny that it’s almost the same words than Alessia said. But “maybe” is the keyword of the sentence and you can’t hope it anymore. So you just hum before sighting.

Little did you know that Alessia was actually talking about you too, finally.

********

“I kissed Y/N.”

Ella was peacefully drinking her coffee and spit it around, making Mary grunt. Alessia was holding this information for too long, she needed to take it out. And she trusts no one more than Ella and Mary.

“What did you just say?!” Ella almost shout when she can breathe again.

“Ella” Mary growls.

Mary realized that something was off with Alessia, but she didn’t want to push the younger girl to confess anything. She was far from imagine that it was something like that though.

“Sorry, sorry. I mean, did you kiss her or did she kiss you?” Ella asks.

“I don’t know? We kiss each other I guess; it was a mutual thing.”

Alessia shrugs, looking at her best friend with attention. Like Maya told you at the phone, she only had two relationships and only with boys. And she never said anything about being gay or having a crush on a girl.

“Is it why you are all weird those days? Are you regretting it or something?”

Mary facepalm at Tooney’s lack of tact. For the good of everyone, she decides to take the lead of this conversation.

“Have you talk to her since the kiss?” Mary asks gently.

“No, not really. We just are very busy and… well maybe I kind of ignore her.”

Alessia seems lost, so is Ella, for once unable to say anything. So Mary just put a comforting hand on Alessia’s knee, trying to be the most soft possible.

“You know that it’s ok right? Kissing girl?”

“Yeah” Alessia mumble.

“Of course it is!” Ella exclaimed herself. “Don’t let anyone or yourself saying you otherwise. You have to do what you need to do to be happy. Only your happiness matter.”

“I hate to say that, but she’s right” Mary smirks.

Alessia laughs hearing her friends, feeling a little lighter. Maybe it’s because of her confession, maybe it’s because of their reaction. Or maybe the two. But she’s way more at ease when someone from the staff came to take Ella for some physical exercises. Alessia stays with Mary only and give her a look before talking again.

“We didn’t only kiss” Alessia whispers, looking at her fingers “I… We slept together too.”

Mary doesn’t say that she thought it was the case, but she kind of knew it. In her opinion, Alessia’s reaction would have been a little too much is it would have involved only one kiss.

“Was she good?” Mary asks with an angelic air.

“Mary!”

“What? I’m just asking!”

She raises both of her hand and Alessia rolls her eyes, unable to hide a little smile. This conversation is taking an unexpected turn.

“She was good. She was so sweet and gentle… And very affectionate and careful. I didn’t know it was possible to be this and… I don’t know, very hot and sensual at the same time?”

“Well you’re a lucky girl.” Mary laughs.

Alessia have red cheeks but seems interested by Mary’s comment. She won’t say at loud, but what she shared with you that night was better than everything of her precedents “bedroom stuff”, how she likes to name it.

“Is it always like this?”

“Mh all girls aren’t good too, I think. Like in straight world, you can find everything.”

“How can sex with a girl feels so different?”

Mary smiles softly, touched by Alessia’s naivety and cuteness. She doesn’t know why Alessia chose not to talk about it with Ella around, but she’s determined to be a good friend and advise her instead of teasing her.

“I don’t know Love, I never been with a man before. But have you thought that maybe it’s not because of the gender of the person, but the person herself?”

Alessia raise her eyes on Mary, biting her lips. Her cheeks are now a little redder and Mary understands quickly that she was kind of right. Like your other teammates, Mary knows you like girls. Everyone knows. You had some flings with other players, but the goalkeeper don’t know a lot about your love life.

“What happened after you slept with her?” Mary asks softly.

“I told her that it wasn’t the right moment to start something serious. She told me that it was ok, but she still seems strange don’t you think?”

“A little, yes. Why isn’t it the right moment?”

Alessia shrugs and looks away this time. She wasn’t really proud of her behavior with you, but it was to protect herself in a way. She is scared about her feelings for you and the way you make her feel that night.

“Because we are literally at the World Cup? And she’s living in Spain, I don’t think I can do a long-distance relationship… And… Well, I never been with a girl before. It’s kind of scary. And she just broke up with her girlfriend who cheated on her.”

“If you are sure that it’s the good choice for you, then you were right to do it Less. Don’t be too hard on yourself.”

Alessia nods and hug her friend when Mary extends her arms to her. She’s not really sure if it’s the good choice to make actually. But she can’t go back to the morning after. She’s grateful for Mary though, even if she chooses a way that Mary wouldn’t, the goalkeeper never tries to change her mind. She adapts herself at the other person.

********

The game against Nigeria is the worst memory of your tournament. You came in for Lauren Hemp at the second period, but with LJ’s red card it was a though game. You are exhausted at the end of the second prolongation, but you still have your penalty to shoot. Georgia missed hers and you are the last of the five on Sarina’s list to take your shoot.

Your hands are shaking when you put the ball on the ground, and you try to breath correctly when the referee talks to the other goalkeeper. You look at the bench and it was the first time that you really crossed Alessia’s gaze since you slept together. Her eyes are even more blue than you remember. She nods at you and gives you a half-smile. You don’t answer to her, but this contact as small as it was, gives you some confidence back. You have this. You can do it.

Taking a deep breath, you take three big steps back and look right in the other goalkeeper’s eyes. Some seconds after you start to run, hit the ball who go straight in the left corner of the net.

You feel your knees gives up when Lucy jumps on your back and soon you are with other players on top of you. The relief is amazing, and you are still shacking when someone takes your hand to help you getting up. You realize when she hugs you that it’s Keira.

“Well done” Sarina says to you when she pats your back.

When she calls you later, Leah was a little more polite about your achievements, and told you to shut up when you answer that it was a teamwork. You laugh though, happy to hear your friend.

“You are sure you still don’t want to come to play at Arsenal?”

“No Leah, stop” you laugh.

“Whatever. I will have Alessia next season anyway, she makes good choice, unlike you.”

You can her Leah’s smirk while she talks, but it’s not the information that stay in your head.

“Lessi is coming to Arsenal?”

“Oh shit. Yes, it supposed to be a secret, please don’t say anything to anyone. I’m not even supposed to know it myself.”

“What did you do Williamson?” you grin.

You don’t know why this information is disturbing to you. Maybe because you have hopped that the blonde would like to come to Barcelona? But you know that she won’t do it, her family is in England, and she has another bond with them than you have. Plus, she already left to the USA before, she probably wants to stay as close as possible to them.

Thanks God, you have Leah’s adventures tonight to keep you entertained and to help you a little to forget about this information. You don’t talk to her about what happened with Alessia, you don’t really know why. Maybe because she knows the girl, but in reality, you prefer to have an advice from someone in front of you.

[nemesyaaa]

half return. momma's boy!pope x maneater!reader.

warnings : slight smut so minors DNI.

you were a maneater, and your favorite type was momma's boy. in particular, the pogues because they were different.

you were the kind of woman everyone saw from miles away but also knew so well. you had a bad reputation. people talked a lot behind your back to say bad things but you didn't have time, either to listen, care or to respond.

oh no, you were way above these people. the attention you were looking for was not from them, but from the other side, from those who were not really rich, who were struggling to live and who lived without worrying about the consequences.

you were a maneater, so obviously there was a hungry beast in your heart and today, like every other day, the beast was hungry. the monster wanted to eat some man.

you weren't really a momma's girl, and you were hated by your boyfriends' mothers..you weren't good enough for their son. you were too mean, too vulgar, too honest. you were nothing like a daughter-in-law and yet, men dreamed of marrying you.

it wasn't a question of dream bodies, you had marks on your body, a little belly, peculiarities but you knew how to hide your insecurities. you had the attitude and the reputation.

you were like a jaguar, magnificent, confident and glorious.

today, you had a crush on a guy. pope heyward according to one of your friends. he was part of a group of pogues who were pretty well known for being troublemakers.

but him. this man, you knew he never did anything wrong. you knew he was a good boy who wanted to please his mother, and who easily fell in love with girls stronger than him.

you knew in advance that pope heyward was too nice. and that you were going to eat him so easily.

the heat was so hot. you wore a white top that barely hid the bottom of your tits, but showed off your belly piercing quite well. the sun made your precious toy sparkle. you had jewelry everywhere, strass on your teeth, dozens of rings on your fingers, more than five necklaces around your neck, and twenty bracelets around your arms. you had the money for, well, your daddy's money.

your jeans came down to your hips, exposing your black thong. physically, you couldn't be pope heyward’s type. everyone would have bet on it.

when he looked up, you met his gaze. you could sense that he was shyer than his blond friend next to him. because he, well his friend had smiled directly at you.

you had kindly ignored him because he wasn’t the one you wanted. no, you wanted the shy guy, the one who would never assume what you would make him feel.

“ hi pope ! “ you smiled.

"so rude of you to ignore me but so kook of you." said jj.

“ start by not making trouble with my friends the kooks.”

“ okay, so you'll stop sleeping with all my pogue friends.”

“ is it jealousy, jj? did you want your blow job too or you just a crybaby that much?”

the tension had started to rise and pope had cleared his throat.

" can i help you ? " he talked with a friendly voice.

"i don't know what to choose for an ice cream flavor.”

“ i can make you a personal cream if you want.”

“i don’t understand why you hate me so much jj but okay, i will just ignore you. ”

“i’'m going to smoke, pope. be careful with her.” he had placed a hand on his friend's shoulder before disappearing as if to warn him.

“don't pay attention to him. he's not mean, just a little too protective.”

“you look like you've been broken many times.”

"not really. girls don't really hang out with me.”

“they’re missing something.”

you looked at each other through the mirror window for a moment, not knowing what to say.

“are you flirting with me?”

“yes, pope heyward. i'm flirting with you.”

“ you don’t know me. "

“that’s why i want to know you. i know, i'm not your type. ”

“i don’t mean to be rude but you have a reputation as a maneater.”

“don't be a sheep who follows others people, pope. especially when you are different from the others. you are a smart person.”

“what flavors of ice cream do you want?”

“i want your favorite.”

you smiled. when you handed him the money to get your ice cream back, he politely refused.

“it’s on the house.”

“ i really want to pay. i’m a customer like any other.”

“if you want to pay so much, you can pay differently.”

" how ?"

" you can ask me out on a date? it will give you the opportunity to get to know me better."

“so smart of my boy. oh and don't tell jj about that. “

“ i don't want to lie to him. “

“ just don't tell him, pope. it's about us, only, okay ? “

“ okay. you're too pretty, i can't resist. “

“ you're the only pretty thing here. “

and that was how you started dating pope heyward.

you were a maneater so obviously pope had fallen really hard in love.

you were so different from all the girls he knew. when he was with you, he had this vital need to make you happy, to buy for you, to cut checks, to possess you, to be your only boy.

you had a strong energy, the kind that made you feel like you had it all and had it all under control. you were convincing and confident. you hated losing control. and perhaps that was the reason for your attraction to soft and naive boys.

pope's mother didn't like you. she hated when you went to their house, when you kissed her son, when you slept with him. she hated the idea of you two being together.

sometimes pope felt bad about it. he didn't want to disappoint anyone. but he couldn't be both your boy and his mother's boy.

once on a summer evening, you invited him to your place so that it was just the two of you. you showed him your room, your favorite things, your jewelry, your family photos, everything that mattered to you. then you put on some music.

he was lying there in the bed, shirtless with only his pants on, a cigarette in his lips, his eyes hanging on your moving body. he only looked at you, you were the only thing that existed.

you were beautiful. the frightening and majestic beauty of the jaguar. you moved so elegantly. you were in control of your body, you knew how to make it beautiful, how to make it so attractive.

jazz was coming out of the record player. you were in your underwear, enjoying the air coming in through the open window. you spun and spun as if the world had stopped.

you almost fell, but pope caught you in his arms.

"perfect. let's dance together, all night, momma's boy."

“don’t call me that.”

“isn’t that what you are?”

you laughed and he captured your laugh with his lips, kissing your mouth gently.

“i want to stay here forever.”

" where ? "

"in your arms. here. in my room. i just want you, pope. ”

you had started kissing every part of his face, placing wet kisses on his soft skin.

“i want you. and you want me too.”

“you know, we will have to take responsibility for our relationship.”

"i know, i know but not now. it's fun being a secret isn't it?”

you started to bite him gently, and he started to flee your small bites. this little thing had turned into a playful fight.

he had the advantage because he was on top of you, him catching every one of your thrusts. you managed to get out of his grip and rolled onto your side before getting on the bed.

he followed you, and you threw the first punch. right in the chest. he had subdued you quickly, still gently, his face right above yours.

“ where is the maneater who always wins, where is the maneater who destroys men? because i am beatin her ass right now.”

“ no, you're not. “

“ what?” you flipped him over with a smile, placing yourself on top of him.

“ you enjoy the game a little too much, pope. i'm fucking sitting on your boner and if you make a move pope heyward I'll destroy you. “

“ real queens do not destroy the throne they sit on. and if you want some child princess, take care of it. “

you had started to move slowly, gently rubbing your pussy over his bulge. you moved efficiently, enough to feel your boyfriend’s cock getting even harder against you.

you could tell he was big by the way you silently rose as his dick awoke.

this room, this sensuality, this warmth, was nothing without the music of marvin gaye.

a wet spot had appeared on his pants, and you used it to rub faster, to press your pussy harder against his erection. the sound of his grunts in sync with your moans.

he held your hands, and kissed them at the same time. he could cum now if you asked him. because you had a way of moving that made him so weak.

“ boys can't play and win. “

“ i think you're late my girl, i win since ive got a girl like you. “

his hands grabbed your thighs while you slipped harder.

“ ‘not going to cum now" he said before taking his length out of his boxers.

he rubbed the tip against your dripping pussy, you were so wet it almost dropped between your lips. he had spit in his hand, and started moving up and down on his cock, jerking off quickly

" what are you doing ? "

“you’re going to ride me, but with my cock deep inside you this time, girl.”

he had smacked your ass, letting it bounce against his palm before you pushed his cock into your pussy. hands on his abs, you began to move, riding him. the problem with this position is that you quickly started to get tired. all the power you had relegated to pope now. he understood the signal, doing the job for you with a smirk. he yanked his dick deeper into your walls, letting you feel every inch of his size. he loved your moans every time his hips hit yours.

the sound of your two bodies slapping together in the atmosphere like the noise of your golden belly chain against your skin. his movements were hard, tearing loud cries from you. you had tears in your eyes, whimpers of pleasure. he took you so well. he was a good boy who knew how to make you cry.

he was taller than you. the size kink was easily noticeable even more when his cock widened your tight hole. and also, when he started touching you, his hand covering your clit.

he had pinched it gently, teasing the little piece with his fingers. he had fun with it, tugging on it while thrusting wilder inside your body, your legs shaking on the mattress.

your hole was squeezing him and he loved how tight it was. he squeezed your clit as he sped up his movements.

"not a maneater anymore ?" he said with a smile "just a girl who wanted to be eaten by her man.”

“ oh shut up, pope heyward. “

“you're the only one making noise here baby.”

you kissed him to shut his mouth. he was right and you knew it. you knew pope loved your strass on your teeths. at first he found it weird and thought you were giving yourself a style but now he was crazy about it.

you were still a maneater but you had a boyfriend so it was different. and then, you were in love. you had learned what it was like to have a man who truly wanted you and loved you.

you were supposed to run away but you didn't want to leave him behind. the problem with nice guys was that they weren't bad. they never held a grudge against anyone, and did not get angry. pope panicked more than he got angry, for example.

when he released his cum deep inside you, you came with him. you looked at him. there was more sweat on his body. he was breathing faster.

you could tell he was proud. and he could be.

you loved every single moment with pope. he was a good boyfriend. he was intelligent, studious, kind and friendly. he worked at school, after classes.

so what you loved was when he broke the rules for you. you used to go and throw stones at his window in the evening to get him to go out. you went surfing in the dark night, bathing in the midnight moon, in calm, cold water, or you went rollerblading at a club because it was fun and the perfect place for couples.

you also spent time in bookstores. it wasn’t your thing but you loved the moment when he told you about the book he was choosing. he would start talking for hours, navigating between the shelves. you followed him and listened to him.

"sometimes, i really feel dumb. " you said.

" you don't understand anything, right ? "

" yes. i'm sorry. but i like it actually. you're pope, the smart boy, the nerdy guy, the master brain and i just love being your girlfriend but it's so new to me. i can't fully understand."

" you're not bored ? "

" never. i can't be bored when my boyfriend is so intelligent. never. what was the book already ?"

" see ? you don't want to listen to that. "

"it's just new to me. be patient and you will be the only one to get bored. "

" deal ? "

" deal. "

and you also confessed your relationship to the pogues. jj pretended to be surprised but was nice to you.

"don't break his heart, okay? he forgive everything, but not me. "

" don’t worry, i will not hurt your boyfriend. "

he turned to Pope, ignoring your bullshit words.

“you know man, i always wondered what the strass felt like while she sucks your cock.”

" JJ. "

"What? I was just asking!”

the end bc i really want to kick my ass. this is not that good. at least, i tried something 💀💀 i will work harder. i just tag @rafecameroninterlude et @oceandriveab . i'm sorry for the expectations 🫠

[crumplstiltskin]

i love ur aus! your interpretations of the relationship dynamics in new ways that still feels true to the characters is really cool- take supernatural crazy stuff and making it fit in a more normal dynamic can't be easy.

do you have any opinions on how sukuna or choso get along with wasuke? (and do sukuna + choso both privately think of themselves as The Oldest Brother, or is one of them a middle brother?)

hey!!! thank you for sending this. i take it as a really big compliment ! i get very particular about that kind of thing so i'm glad it reads the way i want it to.

i'll answer this in the context of my aus. depending on the au there are minor differences though! and i hope you don't mind if i yap a little bit under the cut!

the most important part of this question is how wasuke's personality would mesh with them respectively so it's important to first consider what type of person wasuke is and how he would engage each of them. besides his appearances in the manga/anime we can deduce some of his personality through yuuji (how he was raised, his conduct, etc).

wasuke seems to be very even-tempered, family-focused so i think choso would get along the most with wasuke. choso is very gentle at heart and also family-oriented himself so wasuke would think highly of choso who is very outrightly passionate about it. wasuke himself doesn't seem to be overly affectionate physically or verbally but we know that he cared deeply for yuuji. choso being sort of the opposite way complements him well, at least in the context of caring for yuuji and i see him appreciating choso for making up for perhaps what he would consider his own limitations. wasuke would probably find it embarrassing but as a grandfather who loves his family he would be grateful for having choso in their lives.

sukuna and wasuke would clash more but not to the point where there is any real tension. i think they would bicker a lot, but only because they both seem like the stubborn type....probably share other personality traits too...idk..i feel it in my bones (and tbh in normal peoples au sukuna had a weird edgy phase where wasuke found him cringe af and he never let sukuna live it down 😭). in unckuna au and 12 years au they would both be very involved in rearing yuuji so they'd have long discussions about things after yuuji went to bed or something so this gives them a purpose to get along. not saying that sukuna wouldn't get along with him but to be completely honest sukuna is not the type of character to really care about much beyond himself. so they're like coworkers........but the work is yuuji. sukuna would respect wasuke out of principle (principle being he is an elder, he is his father/grandfather) and wasuke expects that from him, the end.

but knowing people like wasuke, neither of them are getting praise from him no matter how well they do or how much they impress him lol. he will tell them off immediately if they do anything wrong, and is not the type to say pretty words. if he wants to be nice to them he'll probably show it through action though; he'll go out of his way to buy their favourite fruit ("i got x today at the market, peel/cut them up for us"), drink tea and have snacks in the same room instead of sitting on the porch alone, things like that.

about the birth order...i think that's complicated. in normal peoples au i usually consider choso the oldest by a couple years (kaori's child from a past marriage or an ex). if it's the cousin choso au (where kenjaku is kaori's brother) he's around the same age as sukuna give or take. in sorceror au where he is a death painting choso is the oldest by far but sukuna won't acknowledge him as family for reasons (usually infantile and superficial) 😭😭😭.

in most aus sukuna kind of looks down on him for not looking like them and/or for not being human, and in most aus choso is not interested in sukuna beyond asking him to stop being mean to yuuji. almost writing off sukuna as yuuji's brother at all. almost... if it's any uncle au it's harder for him to ignore that i think...choso respects his elders...unfortunately...(he secretly thinks ill of sukuna in his head).

[tobiasdrake]

Hi! Absolutely adore your DBZ analyses, thank you so much - just spent a delightful time reading them all. I was wondering, since you've commented on Chi-Chi and Goku's marriage, what do you have to say about Vegeta and Bulma's relationship? (I've always been entranced by it - mostly because as with all his romances, Toriyama had the wisdom not to show any of it onscreen. But I'd love to know your thoughts about it.)

Bulma and Vegeta are a match made in Hell, and they deserve each other. (Which is to say yes, I love this ship.)

Hooking Bulma up with Vegeta was a hell of a narrative swerve. Generally speaking, stories rarely do this; They rarely let characters break up once they're already invested in a romance, unless it's supposed to be like a love triangle thing.

And Bulma? Bulma was invested. At least, to a degree.

This was the birth of the original Bulma romance that ran through about half of the manga. Two teens interesting in the opposite sex suddenly realize the availability of the other and a relationship is born.

Toriyama says he's bad at writing romance but to be honest, this has always hit me as more believable than your typical drawn-out five-seasons-of-pining Will They/Won't They affair. I'm a girl. You're a boy. Wanna go out and see what clicks?

And these two... these two do not click. We only really see their relationship from Bulma's perspective but it's clear that these two are miserable together.

The manga sorta takes Bulma's side, in that we never really get to hear Yamcha's opinion about their relationship one way or another. When he's around, all he wants to do is talk shop about martial arts. Since Toriyama doesn't like to write romance, we simply don't see much of it from them. What little we do hear about it comes from Bulma complaining about how miserable she is.

Bulma is pretty much always pissed off whenever the relationship is in focus at all.

Anime filler tends to take Yamcha's side instead, portraying him as a put-upon victim of Bulma's jealousy and abuse. A nice guy who doesn't deserve the way she treats him.

It's not hard to buy into this interpretation of their relationship since, as noted, we rarely get anything from Yamcha with regard to his relationship to women or Bulma specifically but we know Bulma's a lot. It's easy to accept Bulma as the "bad guy" of this relationship because. Like. Remember that time she enslaved a sentient being? Good times.

Though one particular moment from Yamcha later on kinda stands out as a bit of a retroactive Yikes.

Yeah. Uh. Threatening violence against a woman for rejecting his bro is a bit of a Yikes. Is this who we were supposed to see Yamcha as all this time? Because, if so, it might have helped to let him opine about the relationship more. Just saiyan.

According to Toriyama in interview, Yamcha and Bulma ultimately broke up because she caught Yamcha cheating on her. I guess that's what him being "popular with girls" was supposed to mean: Once he got over his gynophobia and found confidence with the opposite sex, Yamcha became a player.

But that doesn't necessarily come across from the statement, "Bulma can't stand that Yamcha's popular with girls." A lot of fans took that to mean girls just like him for no reason, and Bulma's unreasonably jealous about it. The anime took that position too.

Note that the "Yamcha is popular with girls" thing isn't helped by the fact that we never see it on-panel because he's only ever talking shop when he's around. But we do see a wandering eye from Bulma often enough.

There's nothing wrong with enjoying the aesthetic appeal of another party even when you're in a monogamous relationship, but it doesn't really present the "Other party is a womanizer and cheater" case when you're the only one ever seen doing this.

So it feels like there's a lot about Yamcha and Bulma's relationship that never made it to print yet influenced later decisions. Those decisions ended up being controversial because the foundation for those decisions was never laid. Here, Toriyama's disdain for writing romance worked against him.

But ultimately, regardless of whose side you take, it doesn't really matter. It doesn't matter who the "bad guy" is. A healthy relationship does not have a "bad guy" in it.

Whether or not Yamcha cheated, whether or not Bulma's just an unreasonably jealous hell-beast, it doesn't actually matter. What matters is that once you reach the point where you're taking sides over which party is the most obnoxious asshole and I hate you and I wish we never met... this relationship is not working for anybody.

It doesn't matter who the bad guy is. It doesn't matter who deserves the blame for this relationship being a toxic shithole. That there is blame to throw around in the first place is the problem. Every relationship has its ups and downs but if one party is constantly miserable for years and has possibly been looking for an escape hatch since year 1, that's not a little tiff.

What matters is that these two are not working out. Any time we see their relationship in focus, they are miserable together. The anime tried to do some patchwork on that with audience reception by giving them some cute moments as well, but because those moments aren't canon the pair remained miserable.

And then this happened.

Despite everything, I think we all assumed that Bulma and Yamcha were going to work it out. Fictional relationships are often portrayed as tumultuous. To a writer, nothing says true love like being constantly miserable and despising every waking moment you spend with your awful, nagging ball-and-chain of a spouse. That's just. Like. What the straights think romance is. It's weird.

I think we all thought that was going to be the deal here too. And then Trunks came along and said, "Nope, actually, they finally severed the cord."

Again, Toriyama says he's bad at writing romance but holy shit, the toxic and miserable relationship actually ended. The two characters involved who only got together out of loneliness and desperation later found they were incompatible with each other. That's so real. Much moreso than a lot of fictional romances.

Instead, we got the absolute crack ship that is Vegeta and Bulma. What a wild-ass revelation for Trunks to drop.

Like. Until the end of the Namek arc, this was the only time these two characters even met.

She also saw Vegeta for like two seconds here.

That was it. That was their entire history together until Goku defeated Frieza while Kaio sent everyone to Earth. But that's when everything changed for Vegeta.

Stranded on Earth with no ship, no affiliations, no ability to leave the planet and nowhere to go or be and no obligations to anyone but himself, Vegeta's circumstances were wildly different than they'd ever been before. He had become one of the Namekian refugees.

And Bulma was offering refuge.

Hard to resist, indeed. That moment is absolutely hilarious in retrospect. Bulma rolled a Nat 20 on that charisma check. It's pretty clear who the instigator of this relationship was.

Like. It needs to be stated that at this point, the only thing Bulma knew about Vegeta was that he tried to kill them all multiple times, and also he's kinda hot. But. Like.

It's Bulma. Anyone who doesn't expect this from her by now either hasn't been paying attention or started watching the English dub of the anime when they did Z first.

So, naturally, Vegeta is a kind and loving man and became a phenomenal husband and fa--

Wait. No. I got my notes mixed up. It says here Vegeta's a rotten dirty bastard. Like. Chronically. He has Supreme Dickshit Syndrome. It's genetic.

Most of Bulma and Vegeta's developing relationship happens offscreen. From what snippets we get, Vegeta has a tendency to vanish during the day, but he still lives at Capsule Corp so Bulma sees him around.

By the end of the three-year timeskip, it's official. Or semi-official. Yamcha and Bulma broke up at some point during that timeskip and Bulma's given birth to Trunks.

As for Vegeta, he's evidently moved out of Capsule Corp and into his own place.

I guess he's still keeping contact with Bulma since she knows what his intentions are. Not to mention he found his tranquility during these three years, though it's somewhat ambiguous as to what exactly brought that peace to his heart.

But the relationship is off to a rocky start nonetheless. Clearly something went down between Vegeta and Bulma that drove Vegeta out of Capsule Corp. To. Uh. Somewhere.

I like to imagine Vegeta living in some shitty West City apartment he rents off a stipend Bulma's sending him that he refuses to openly acknowledge. Like, room 101 is a down-on-his-luck tax accountant, room 102 is a couple with a kid trying to make ends meet off two retail workers' salaries, and then room 103 is Vegeta, Prince of All Saiyans. Sometimes he goes to community events and pretends he isn't having fun.

No lie, I would absolutely watch that as a sitcom.

As for Vegeta himself, he's still a rotten dirty bastard.

Worth noting that Vegeta's saying this as a Super Saiyan which means he's drunk on the form's enhanced aggression. But. Still. Vegeta is an absolute monster being dragged kicking and screaming into a pleasant life that he'll one day resent himself for enjoying. This is his arc moving forward.

It's not so much a redemption arc as it is a domestication arc. The uniquely evil even by Saiyan standards Vegeta is gradually being changed by his new terrestrial life. He doesn't want to own up to how much he enjoys it here. Seven years later, he's still desperate to avoid owning up to it.

He doesn't want to be happy here. He doesn't want a loving wife and a son who looks up to him and the most lavish home wealth can afford him and easy, comfortable days spent with friends and loved ones by his side. He doesn't want a happy ending.

But it's like Bulma warned him: Dragon Ball's queen bee is hard to resist.

Welcome back to Capsule Corp, Vegeta. We hardly even noticed you were gone. Honestly, Future Trunks deserves a lot of the credit for this; Watching him die at the Cell Games was what flipped the switch in Vegeta's head that he wants the family he and Bulma have spawned together.

Sure is a good thing we have Dragon Balls because this is a hell of a time to suddenly decide you love your son. But we see the consequences of that seven years later, since Vegeta moved back into Capsule Corp from... I don't know, wherever he went. They're gonna miss him at the next community poolside summer BBQ event for all tenants.

Part of what makes Vegeta and Bulma work, I think, is that they're on the same page about one crucial point. For Bulma, there is one person who will always take precedent in her life above all others. Romance comes and romance goes, but this is the relationship that matters most to her.

Especially when it comes to martial arts and fighting. Bulma doesn't know a lot about the subject, but she knows that Son Goku is her #1. She has no reservations about saying that to her lover's face either.

When fists start flying, Bulma knows who she's rooting for. If Goku's involved, then it's not her guy. That's. Just. Something that anyone who wants to be with her has to be willing to understand. The single most important relationship in Bulma's life will always be her friendship with Goku.

And the thing about Vegeta is... He kind of agrees? Like. See above, re: I wanted Babidi to destroy my feelings for Bulma so that I could become the warrior that can fight with you, Kakarot.

As much as Goku will always be Bulma's #1, he'll also always be Vegeta's #1. He even gets included into Vegeta's fond farewell to the family he loves.

Goku is basically the platonic third in a two-person polycule. This is the second marriage that this poor ace plays a vital role in despite having no real interest in romance whatsoever.

Bulma is selfish, spiteful, petty, and vain. At one point, DBS: Broly directly compares her to Frieza; A comparison that manages to be unbelievably unflattering to both participants.

They're the same picture. A revelation that would probably be horrifying to both.

And Vegeta. Especially Vegeta. But. Like. She warned you she was irresistible. You didn't take her seriously and now look where you are. Married to the She-Frieza. Maybe you should think about your life choices.

This is just. So much fun. As I said at the outset, Bulma and Vegeta are a match made in Hell who make it work because they're both similar brands of awful.

As for Yamcha, it's a little known fact but Yamcha rebounded and moved on with his life. He stops having much story relevancy after he leaves Capsule Corporation so we see very little of his private life from there. After retiring from martial arts and splitting up with Bulma, Yamcha's left without any story hooks to keep him involved.

But there was this interesting moment, when he realized they had a Shenron wish to spare.

After Krillin comes up with something better to use the wish on, he takes it back and claims it was a joke.

This is, surprisingly, a point of contention in the fandom as some of Yamcha's fans prefer the idea that he died miserable and alone after Bulma ruined his life by leaving him. This takeback gets pointed to as proof that he made up his girlfriend entirely. However, in context, it's clear that a) he's trying to brush off his earlier attempt at making a petty wish and b) the thing he's transparently pretending was a joke is the necklace wish, not the existence of his new girlfriend.

Like Bulma, Yamcha moved on with his life after the break up of their miserable relationship. And that was the final word that was ever uttered on Yamcha's romantic prospects, because this was the last time he was ever meaningfully involved with anything at all.

[chaotic-on-main]

Shoveling Snow with Levi

moodboard and drabble oneshot for @humanitys-strongest-bamf who requested shoveling snow and hot tea snuggles with Levi <3

content: fluff, modern au, established relationship, marriage, winter

word count: ~1.3k

Levi is the kind of man who will do all of the hard chores, even though you're very much capable of doing so. Shoveling snow is one of those. To be honest, you didn't mind because shoveling snow was the worst part of winter next to having to drive in it. But it means time away from your newly wedded husband, and for that you were sad about it.

On this particular day, Levi awoke to a few feet of new accumulation staring right back at him from the window. The weather forecast predicted no such thing so he grumbles something under his breath, unfortunately waking you up for the day. He feels you stirring and rolls over to see your face half covered from the plush pillow, a sleepy eye peeking over the navy blue cloth.

“Sorry, Love. I didn't mean to wake you.” Levi says softly as he inches closer to you and wraps his arms around your waist just to pull you into him. His bare chest is warm from being under the sheets all night. The gentle beating of his heart threatens to lull you to sleep again, but you remember the grumbling that woke you up in the first place.

“What's wrong?” You ask, muffled from being pressed up against his chest.

“It snowed a lot last night, so I need to shovel. Again.” You can already feel the scowl that pulls on Levi's soft lips.

“No. We're staying inside all day. You said.” You whine back, snaking your own arms around him to keep him close. You wouldn't let him go, not ever.

“That was before I knew the forecaster was a liar.” Levi grumbles yet again.

“The weather is unpredictable, you know that.”

“Tch. If I don't take care of it, then it will just melt and make it worse. Do you want to fall on your ass like last year?”

“That's not fair, I was distracted!”

“A cat running down the sidewalk is not a valid excuse when you could have been paying attention to where you were going.” Levi chuckles and rests his chin on the top of your head before kissing it softly.

“Mean. And to be fair, he had a bow in his mouth and he was really cute.” You whisper, a smile still appearing despite the silly comments.

You both lie there a little longer, the only noises in the bedroom coming from the soft exhales you both made as well as the little wall clock on the opposite side of the room. You're almost about to fall back asleep until you're jostled awake by Levi pulling away from you. You do your best to grab him and bring him back but he's too strong for you. Before you know it, you're staring at Levi's muscular back.

“I won't be long.” He says as he stands up and stretches his arms above his head. His back and arms flex from the movement and you can't help but stare. Oh how you wish you could trail kisses down them right now. But you didn't have time for that.

“I'm coming with you.” You state matter-of-factly as you rip off your sheets in a dramatic show of display. You wish you hadn't as the winter morning air bites at your bare skin, but you had to make a point. Pushing yourself out of bed, you turn and stare at Levi with a look of determination.

“You hate shoveling.” Levi states back. He makes his way over to the closet to grab some winter clothing.

“I do. But you promised me hot tea and movies today and I'll be damned if this stops us. It will make it go faster.” You shrug as you follow Levi's steps.

Eventually, you and your husband are both fitted for the snow. He helps lace up your snow boots and you do the same for him. You look like you're ready for some miscellaneous winter sport, but unfortunately you were heading out for something far worse.

Shoveling sucks. Ten minutes in, you can already feel your arms burning and your back aching from bending at such an odd angle. Levi told you to only worry about the walkway connecting the front porch to the driveway. It's a small section compared to his and yet you're still struggling. You're doing your best to slow your breathing and take your time but you still feel sweat starting to accumulate. This chore is enough to make athletes question their fitness, you think.

About an hour passes until you're both done. You collapse into the snow, reveling in the cool that permeates the cloth beneath you. The sky is a brilliant blue with a few low clouds in the sky, no doubt the traces left behind last night's snow.

“I thought you said you wanted hot chocolate and movies.” Levi says as he steps over to you. His shadow covers your face and all you see now is his pretty features with a sun halo around his head.

“I do! I'm just waiting to see if death is going to take me now or later.”

Levi holds his hand out to you and you take it. He pulls you up like you're air and steadies your body to keep you from falling head first the other way. His nose and cheeks are rosy pink from the cold and you reach up to touch his face with your palm. He really is pretty.

“Something on my face?” His gray eyes almost look blue from the reflection of the afternoon sky and bright white snow.

“Yeah, your face. I like it.”

“You're so weird.”

“Yeah, but you like it.”

“Do I?”

“Well you better. You’re stuck with this forever.” You laugh at his stoic expression with one raised eyebrow.

“Just go inside already. Take a warm shower while I get some tea started.” He shakes his head at you as you start to walk away. He calls your name at the same time you feel his gloved hand wrap around your arm.

In just a few seconds, he pulls you into him and is tilting your chin with his other hand towards his face. His lips meet yours gently, the warmth of it all spreading into your face and down to your toes. Then it's over as it started. His face pulls away as he looks into your eyes earnestly.

“Now go. I'm sure you have a ton of movies in mind.”

Levi’s special tea is done brewing around the same time you step out of the bedroom in a fresh pair of pajamas with fuzzy socks to boot. He had the living room ready for a night in. Fairy lights and candles decorate the mantle of the fireplace that sits ablaze. The warmth of it is immediate as you make your way to the couch already adorned with your favorite blankets.

“You know me so well.” You smile over at Levi who is just now setting a tray full of snacks and tea.

“Being together as long as we have will do that to you.” He says back nonchalantly, though you spot that little smile of his tugging at the corners of his mouth.

The movie you picked out was really good. The tea Levi made was even better. As you snuggle up into Levi's side, you take a few deep breaths of his musky scent. It's not long before you're drifting off to sleep again with dreams of snow-filled adventures and your perfect husband.

There is a little over a week left of my winter event! If you'd like to request something, go here for the rules! <3

[666writingcafe]

Jealousy?

MC

"Would you mind answering a question for me?" Barbatos asks me once we've exchanged pleasantries and settled down in the parlor.

"Depends on the question." A faint smile crosses his lips.

"I was just wondering how you could choose to associate yourself with Solomon." The irritation in his voice is rather evident, and I'm reminded of the staredown the two men engaged in a couple days ago.

"What do you have against him?" I sound a bit too defensive for my liking. I'm not trying to pick a fight with Barbatos; I simply want to know why he seems to detest the sorcerer so much.

He sighs before replying,

"Perhaps the version of Solomon that accompanied you here has cleaned up his act--and good for him if he has--but the one I know is fiendish, a blight upon the world, and destruction incarnate. He throws anyone he can under the bus if it meant avoiding trouble for himself. Being here for an extended period of time may cause your sorcerer to revert back to old habits, and I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Why? You hardly know me."

"You're right." He pauses. "I'm not sure, really. I mean, you seem like a good, honest person, but what do I know? Maybe you're just as bad as him, and I shouldn't have even bothered taking you under my wing." While coming from a practical place, his words do sting.

"And yet you did." Barbatos sighs again.

"And yet I did," he repeats, taking a sip of his tea. "The decision came from a gut feeling I had, and those rarely fail me. I just hope that you don't prove me wrong."

My turn to drink some tea.

I'm not used to Barbatos being this open about his emotions, especially while he's on duty. Perhaps time has granted him the ability to remain calm and composed when he's on the clock, but still. It'll be a bit before I get used to this particular attitude of his.

"Are you ready for your first lesson?" he asks, pulling me out of my head and back to the present moment. It takes me a second to remember exactly why I'm over at the castle today in the first place, but once I do, I quickly nod my head.

"Good. We'll start with a fairly basic anatomy topic: pheromones." Interesting place to start. Is he finally going to let me ask the question I had about Lucifer?

"In a lot of ways, demons bear a closer resemblance to animals than to humans," he continues. "While their strength in the latter is fairly minimal, the former uses them as a effective method of communication. Our pheromones can tell others what we're feeling as well as mark our territory, among other things.

"Demons have a baseline scent that's present no matter what they do. For example, I smell like mint, and Lord Diavolo like old leather. Different pheromones will bring out specific notes of the baseline scent. Positive emotions tend to make it sweeter, while negative emotions bring out its bitter and sour side. If those emotions are tied to one of the seven sins, then the scent becomes more potent, sometimes to the point of being nauseating to anyone that happens to catch a whiff.

"Am I making sense to you so far?" I nod my head. I don't have any questions yet, but I have a feeling that even if I did, Barbatos wouldn't let me ask any of them just yet.

"Now, Lucifer and his brothers have stayed in the castle for the last couple months, and in that time, I've picked up on all of their scents. Lucifer had one of the more pungent ones. Understandably so, since he's probably the most emotionally scarred from the war, but it got to the point where I couldn't be around him for longer than a few minutes. And making some of my favorite dishes proved to be impossible after a while, for even the smallest amount of nutmeg would make my stomach turn.

"But the moment you returned his credit card to him, Lucifer's scent noticeably shifted. For once, he actually smelled pleasant. And then it became stronger. By the time he left my side, I was craving a giant slice of coffee cake." At this point, he stops talking, allowing me to finally speak.

"So, you're telling me that my simple nice gesture was enough to turn him on?"

"It would appear that way, yes." Unbelievable. "If I pointed it out at the time, though, Solomon probably would have run after Lucifer to tease him about it, and that would most definitely piss Lucifer off. Plus, he would adamantly denied feeling that way at all, and given his initial behavior towards you, I didn't want to see you upset by him completely disregarding your kindness."

As I mull over Barbatos' words, I'm suddenly reminded of a specific moment. One where Lucifer had his mouth covered with a handkerchief, looking like he was about to throw up.

I wonder...

"If it's not too much trouble, would you mind telling me what I smell like?" I ask, causing Barbatos to smile.

"Not at all. In fact, I was just getting ready to ask you if you wanted to know, so this works out great." He sets his tea down on a nearby table and gets up, walking around and stopping behind the chair I'm sitting in. I momentarily feel part of his face on top of my head as he audibly sniffs. I'm sure that if someone walked past us right now, they'd be weirded out by what they saw.

Or maybe not. I don't know if intentionally smelling someone like this is standard demon behavior. Maybe it is, and I'm overthinking it.

"Vanilla buttercream frosting," Barbatos announces. Somehow, that doesn't surprise me. It at least explains a few things, if nothing else. Frosting can get overwhelmingly sweet.

"That might actually work," he mutters to himself as he sits back down.

"What would?" Barbatos finishes his tea before clasping his hands in front of him.

"There's a creature on the grounds that needs tamed. He's both ferocious and extremely dangerous, so Lord Diavolo had me put a spell on him to prevent anyone from coming into contact with him. If I told you how to undo the spell, would you like to take a stab at it?"

"What makes you think I'd be successful?"

"You don't smell threatening."

"No; I smell like a goddamn dessert. The creature will probably think I'm food and try to eat me."

"And if that's the case, I'll bail you out." He pauses. "There are creatures like this one that are very selective about who they will submit to, and I believe that you fit this particular one's criteria. Plus, you'll earn the title "Ruler of the Underworld", and you can use that as a way to get people to quit treating the brothers like shit." I find myself snorting in amusement.

"Like a mere title is going to make people change their entire ideology."

"People can think whatever they like. They just have to learn to keep some of those thoughts to themselves or else face severe consequences." The grin on his face is lowkey terrifying. I don't know if I want to be on the wrong end of that smile.

So, I end up agreeing to take on the responsibility of taming this creature.

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr

[anna-scribbles]

hey anna! the wait for kwami’s choice part 2 truly is abysmal and it’s so hard to navigate through the tag with all the leaks about, do you have any fic recs to tide us over until gloob puts us out of our misery?

not only do I have fic recs, I also have way too much to do rn and therefore will spend an inordinate amount of time crafting a detailed rec list for you 😘 (we can also just consider this my 2022 ao3 wrapped lol)

goes without saying perhaps, but ANYTHING by @peachcitt is gold and also uniquely devastating, some of my particular favorites being:

metamorphosis - 97k, enemies, sleepovers, you get it. i'm normal

those benevolent stars - 23k, ladrien thief/prince/soulmates au. what more do I even need to say

chat noir's white french man hit list for feminist purposes - 7k, hilarious and devastating, this fic is a child to me

double dare - 32k, ladrien, absolutely everything. cemented my friendship w/ peach bc I had to scream at her everyday abt it

I thought the plane was going down - 11k, attuned to my tastes specifically, adrinette having a History while on airplanes

@carpisuns also puts out banger after banger like it's her dayjob, specializing in understanding the ridiculous nature of the lovesquare to such a degree and also being the funniest person alive. some of my faves from her are:

tell me something I don't know - 120k, the marichat fic EVER, mar's dissertation on lovesquare and guess what she's right

pink - 14k wip, adrien loves marinette, SOFT

two idiots and a hamster (collab with @botherkupo) - 24k, adrinette roommates, makes me cry laugh

@picayunearts is a goddess on earth. she bends word and image flawlessly to her will. recently she has enraptured me with

final girl - 41k, marichat, au where marinette succeeds in giving up her miraculous to alya in origins. INCREDIBLE marinette character study

@rosekasa invented ladynoir and i'm not afraid to say it. check out everything on her ao3 but just note the following

when things were good - 15k wip, breakup fic/post hawkmoth takedown, has been ruining me in a SPECIAL way

new marinette 12k, post-guardianship memory loss marinette, a classic

like poles of a magnet - 12k, enemies au, hurts my feelings

ya'aburnee - 13k, ladynoir, HURTS ME VERY MUCH. I'VE NOT RECOVERED

@buggachat's fics always feel like i'm attending a course on adrien and marinette's true characterizations explained to me by someone with a PhD in lovesquare and I walk away enlightened. she has an incredible gift for storytelling and just Getting It. anyway read

maintaining a professional distance - 43k, ladynoir hotel room shenanigans, god-tier characterization

when you're near 10k, ladynoir dating but adrinette have never met, a classic

@sha-nwa should honestly quit her career and write lovesquare fanfiction for me full time. proof:

the way I loved you - 68k, marichat break up fic, will be cemented into my mind forever

photograph - 1k, sweet adrinette, abby loves making me cry

things WOULD be amiss if I did not mention @officialratprince (carolinaa on ao3) bc their fics derailed my homework schedule on several occasions last semester, though I'll be honest that their fics are not for the faint of heart or those who wish adrien agreste to have a good time. my faves are

I will take it / it can't go wrong series - 3 fics at 16k, 25k, and 39k, adrien's journey through experiencing child abuse and his friends being there for him, culminating in gabriel's court trial

home sick - 14k wip, adrien gets pneumonia and Everything Is Really Bad

other various fics I love for various reasons:

how hawkmoth got his groove back series by @agrestenoir - 2 fics at 3k and 1k, one of my favorite crack fics i read last year. had me crying laughing

1 step forward, 3 steps back by agnes writes - 10k, breaks my heart every time I read it. also makes me legitimately angry at adrien while still keeping him in character which is a feat in and of itself

the last day on earth by reiaji - 10k, chat blanc keeps happening as marinette gets older, I am incapable of not recommending this fic

okay now go forth and don't do your work<3

[tragedry]

Now we need you to write a tyden confession scene............ y'know, to make things even. Or you can talk about when they realized their feeling for each other 🥺

the fact that y'all are starting to associate me to both ashler and tyden is hilarious cause i'm pretty sure i started this side blog to only talk about ashler asfhafla

but here we are, so let me try to put together a coherent enough tyden confession for you at 4 am:

side note: this got really long way too fast, and i'm pretty sure this only tackled aiden's feelings, but i hope you like it anyway anon!

when aiden realizes he's starting to like tyler, everything just clicks.

he's laying on his bed, his eyes staring up at the glow in the dark stars he's poorly glued on his ceiling back when he was ten when the realization hits him, and he's finally put a name to the emotion tyler manages to invoke inside his chest whenever the other boy would stop scowling and actually offer him one of those once-in-a-blue-moon, downright stunning smiles that probably belonged on a movie poster whenever one of aiden's jokes finally lands.

it's like the last step of figuring out how to solve a brand new rubik's cube, and for a moment he revels in the satisfaction of just knowing, except by the time he tries to figure out how to proceed from such a revelation, he’s coming up blank.

for the first time in his life, his crush on tyler is the only puzzle he has no idea how to move forward to.

if he’s being honest with himself, knowing that he actually likes the halfwit doesn't really change much of their situation, if anything it would probably only make things worse if tyler found out.

and it's not like he's stupid enough to actually believe he's got a shot, not when he's made it his entire personality to annoy the ever living shit out of the baseball player any chance he’s got.

the thought of tyler’s possible rejection inflicts a pain that courses through his entire body, stilling him until he has to remind himself to breathe.

aiden decides he doesn’t really like thinking about this particular puzzle anymore—not when his own emotions have cursed him.

he refuses to think about the problem any further. he’ll set his feelings for tyler aside and ignore it till it goes away completely. 

he’s always been good at ignoring his problems, and this is no different.

with his mind made up, he lets himself relax until the pang in his chest dulls out and he’s ready to forget it was ever there in the first place.

and just when things were finally starting to feel normal again, that’s when the halfwit decided to reply to his text. 

the reply is short, dry, and straight to the point– and it’s just so like him that aiden catches himself snorting when he reads the simple, “fuck if i know.” right after aiden’s last annoying question. 

he hadn’t even expected the other boy to reply, except tyler always did.

no matter how much he purposely tries to piss him off or how many memes he sends the other boy, tyler will reply, whether it was a sarcastic comment or a curse, all of his messages are read and answered.

it was kind of addicting, to be heard-to have his existence acknowledged by someone who had every right to tell him to shut up and walk away.

he can feel his heartbeat racing all over again as he re-read tyler’s text, and as he typed out a reply he knew it was going to be hard for him to fall asleep.

the clock on his phone reads past 1 am, and he wants to point it out to tyler cause he’s always complaining about staying up late whenever aiden’s in the mood to mess with him.

but before he could say anything about it, tyler’s already sending him a brand new text, and this one’s even more humorless than before.

his earlier thought is momentarily forgotten, and he ends up sending the other boy a series of memes pointing out how badly tyler’s killing their convo with his lackluster replies, and aiden selfishly hopes that tyler takes the bait and talks to him even longer, even if just to prove him wrong.

aiden wonders if tyler would hate him for it.

he lifts his eyes back to the stars on his ceiling and hopes.

he hopes that tyler won’t hate him for being selfish, hopes that his feelings for the other boy won’t last, and hopes that by the time he wakes up the following day, the pain in his chest disappears completely. 

his phone lights up with a brand new text and aiden begins to type out a reply without really reading what the text said.

'can you promise you won’t hate me too?'

the reply gets deleted, and he sends tyler another meme instead.

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday lovely Fandom :) Phew lord we’ve reached the eps I’ve only watched once. Because I was far too destroyed to watch them again. Knew my second time around would be my rewatch. I’m not ready emotionally. Will I ever be though? lol If we don't laugh we cry right? Ha Anyways I’m on a strict timetable before I move. So press forward I must. Sad at the lack of gifs in this one. But also understandable since we were all anxious af after this one. I am excited to do Tim analysis though. I always enjoy that.

Also pre-shout out to Eric and Melissa in this one. They never cease to amaze me with their acting chops and chemistry. Eric really kills me in this one in particular. Let us begin the slow breaking of our shipper hearts shall we? Also thank you to my readers for going through this with me. Once was hard enough. But revisiting isn’t any easier so thank you for coming with me on this journey. Off we go.

6x05 The Vow

We get our couple immediately after the cold open. I knew going into this ep it was going to be angsty. I just had no idea why or how bad it would be…It’s date night for our beautiful pair. I just love them constantly dating each other. Makes my soul so damn happy. I can’t put it into words well enough. We get ship crack in this opening sequence for sure though. The way they light up when they see one another. That never gets old. Lucy is lighting candles when her man enters in.

Tim couldn’t be any cuter just as happy for date night as she is. Looks like he’s carrying quite a bit into her apt. Lucy instantly notices his present for her. Tim continues with the cuteness and says yes and the beer is for him. This is so domestic I wanna die. This moment started off so precious I knew he we were in for a world hurt tbh. This scene was the calm before the storm.

Tim is not wasting any time getting a thank you kiss in. Lucy is lit up like a Christmas tree as she leans in for said kiss. I adore the smiles going into it. Making my shipper heart giddy af. Also his grip on her arm. Drawing her in nice and close. It’s doing things to me as they melt into each other. Lucy’s questioning face cracks me up as she pulls back. Tim picking up on it right away. Asking her 'What?' With so much sass I’m cackling. How he has grown in his sass heh

Lucy can’t help but note gift giving isn’t his normal love language. Fact that they’re talking about love languages has me reeling so much. It’s just so cute. I'm squeeing at how friggin precious and domestic this is. Tim challenges her back. Asking what is his love language then? Their banter right here is one of their love languages let's be honest LOL Always top tier with some flirtation mixed in for good measure.

Lucy being cute as all hell replies ‘Terse nods mainly.’ I mean she isn’t wrong haha There have been some wonderful sets about this line. Man sure does love his terse nods. For her especially. Mainly her really. Tim continues his trajectory towards adorable with his reply. Letting her know he’s trying to change things up.

The smile on that man’s face. Oh my word. I said this a lot in S5 and I’ll say it again. Have we ever seen this man so damn happy before her? The answer is a sharp no. Not ever. She is the absolute joy in his life. It just radiates out of him when they’re together. Especially when they’re bantering. Ugh my heart. These two kill me in the best way.

Lucy then turns into an adorable little bean herself. Asking Tim if she can open it now? She is so excited about this impromptu gift. No way she can wait through their dinner to open it. Tim say of course she can. I’m sure he was hoping she would open it right away. Especially with the thought he put into it. Also well done on the wrapping good sir.

Lucy’s reaction is delightful. It reminds me of the way she reacted in 6x03 with her trophy. Blown away by this man’s thoughtfulness. Not only that but making her laugh in the process as well. We get a second in love 'Lucy smile' in the second gif. He is so gone for her. Man they were really setting us up for a fall with the goodies they packed into this scene.

I love how Tim locks eyes with her and is beaming ear to ear. No one makes him smile like that except Lucy. Legit the sunshine in this man’s life. I can’t get over how damn happy he looks. My heart might implode at how happy he is. Happiness looks so good on him. Also how proud he looks as well at his choice in gift. Patting himself on the back for it hehe

We see it’s her KIA radio in a display case. Lucy looking at him like he’s hung the moon and stars. Bringing out her own in love 'Tim smile.' She too is beaming right back. Heart eyes paired with that joyful smile. Tim for this moment (not the rest of this ep) is once again 10/10 for her. Commemorating her takedown of Jeff Budny. Saw an excellent parallel between this and 2x12. About Tim giving back things that saved her life for him. My damn heart. I’m fine….

Tim continues on to say it was to memorialize the radio that saved her life. So grateful to that radio for taking the hit it did. I remember thinking how that radio represented her communication problems. Little did I know it would soon represent Tim’s as well. The irony of this gift will hit us painfully hard later in this episode. Having watched rest of the season as well it represents their’s as a couple too. *sigh*

Anyways we get a SECOND kiss in this moment. That’s how I knew it was coming like a freight train at us. We got cuteness, flirtation, banter and two kisses in one scene. They were setting us up for a very hurtful fall. They just look like two happy idiots in love. *dreamy sigh* I wanna die it’s so precious. They fall back into each other for this second kiss.

The look in Lucy’s eyes ready to thank him for this radio. Not with dinner but some sexy times. That kiss before it’s interrupted looked like it was headed for the bedroom. Dinner be damned at that point. The way Tim is leaning heavily into that kiss too. Ready to go in for more. His patented first kiss need an immediate second one well underway. Phew lord. He was more than ready to receive that thanks LOL

Sadly Tamara steps through the door. Doing what she does best. Be a wet blanket for their bedroom endeavors. I love her anyways though haha She instantly apologizes saying she forgot it was date night. Tim sighs as they pull apart and Lucy goes into mom mode after she hits Tim. haha It’s so cute. Little damn family up in here.

Tamara says she can hide in her room. Lucy replies that’s not necessary. That she can make a plate for her room if she’d like though. Then the scene takes a giant shift in tone. Tim receives the phone call that ruins our entire shipper lives. It sounds dramatic but it’s really not…Tim’s whole demeanor changes. Lucy is crazy intuitive to it. Her internal Tim radar going haywire. The tight way he replies and says he has to go.

Lucy wanting follow up questions. It’s the way she says. ‘Just wait.’ Not wanting him to go. *heart clutch* The sheer panic and worry developing in her soul and in ours. That gnawing unsettling feeling we feel through out the rest of the episode. Breaks my heart. She clearly spent the whole day waiting to be with him for their date night. Only to have him taken away with no answers. Lucy looks SHOOK as her entire heart walks out the door. It's written all over her face. His abrupt departure filling her with questions and worry. So it begins…

We see Tim pull up in his truck to the pre-arranged spot. A man comes out of his own car and enters in. I was on pins and needles waiting to see wtf this was about. Who the man was. Why he had the power to make Tim, basically run from date night with his girl. I knew in the back of my mind had to be his military past. Only thing I could think of to make him spook like this.

They shake hands when he gets into the truck. He thanks Tim for coming. Our boy replies he didn’t have a choice. If Ray is alive they have a big problem. The intrigue meter continued to grow. Who was this Ray? What problem did he present to them both? Tim looks like he’s seen a ghost when he’s shown Ray’s photo. He was supposed to have died in an air strike….He's been working as a gun for hire and came into LAX the day before.

Tim asks why he would come to L.A? Apparently his mom is dying of cancer. That’s who they’re staking out. It’s here we find out what the vow is. And it’s not a good one….Tim is not onboard for honoring this pact they made. To kill Ray if he ever resurfaced. To pay him back for the friends he killed. We see the conflict on Tim's face. How he doesn’t know how he’s gonna tackle this. Eric killing me softly early on in this one. His eyes alone scream so much emotion.

We see Lucy unable to sleep. In what I can only assume is Tim’s shirt. I think Melissa confirmed it was and thanked the fans for their keen eye. It’s the little things we love so much. Lucy is clearly missing him. So naturally she sleeps in a shirt of his. Also her DOD ring and her necklace are in plain view as well. Killing me softly. She can’t sleep because he’s supposed to be next to her. His consistent calming presence is missing and she can’t relax enough to rest.

Their date night was supposed to end with him asleep by her side. Not this. We can see the anxiety just seeping out of her. Don’t blame her one bit. No one knows that man better than her. From the second he took that phone call she knew. Deep in her gut that not only was something off but very very wrong. Her whole being emanating unease and concern. I feel you Lucy. The rapport and connection they’ve built over last 5 seasons coming in hot here.

Lucy looks sick to her stomach and it makes me wanna cry. The hurts so good is ever present in this scene. She is missing him and crazy worried. Her rampant anxiety is not letting her rest. My guess is other than 6x01 they’ve scarcely spent a night apart. The way he took off is scaring the shit out of her with good reason. So she tries to quell it with a phone call. Sadly she gets his VM. Her message to him makes my stomach sink more. Lucy is used to being his go to. She was left in the cold and her stress level is rising due to it.

Tim watches her call and VM come in. He looks pained at not being able to answer it. It’s the way he sighs and closes his eyes. It’s killing him to keep her at a distance. Eric out here trying to murder my feels with his superb acting. This truly begins the immense breakdown that is their communication. Lucy showed her hand at it before this ep in 6x04. Now it’s Tim’s turn at it. We had indications of it but s6 showed us how glaring it is. The cracks in their foundation were there. We just didn't want to see it. These are the issues Eric wanted to tackle.

Honestly when we're on the other side of this I'll be real grateful for it. Till then this just hurts. Now Tim’s communication probs are particularly glaring in these in this ep and the next. Pains me to write it but our boy has serious issues with stuff like this. You know he knows she is at home worried sick. That’s why he looks so pained. Tim knows her just as well as she does him. Very aware she is panicked and worried about where he is. If he’s ok. Absolutely killing him to keep her in the dark. To Tim right now he think's despite that it's the right call.

This is Tim Bradford so he thinks he’s doing it to protect her. To keep her from his dark past affecting her. If he distances himself and handles it solo it’ll be ok. Because he doesn’t need help. Wants shoulder this alone. Oh Timothy, my love you are so wrong. It pains me how wrong you are. His childhood issues screaming out in this decision. Which we will get into. That gif of Captain Holt's ‘Paaaaiiiin’ gif is fitting right here. *sad sigh*

Greer rejoins Tim in the truck with his recon. Tim is clearly uncomfortable with this whole thing. Weighing so many things at the moment. What he has to lose with any action they do. His soul is already so heavy with the past. It pains me to watch this. Tim is trying so hard to talk Mark out of this. Asking what they’re really going to do? What the point of all this really is? Noting them even talking about this is criminal conspiracy. Greer gas lights Tim this entire episode and I do not appreciate it.

Saying he can’t believe the ‘Reaper.’ is going soft on him. He is softer because of a wonderful woman named Lucy Chen. He’s in love with a person who is beautiful inside and out. One who has changed him so much. So yeah he’s softer now Greer. Also the first time I heard that nickname it made me fan myself. Is that wrong? lmao Idk if it is but I found it insanely attractive. I probably shouldn’t haha But here we are. With me still finding that service nickname sexy. I am who I am. Tim says he isn’t soft. He’s only thinking of what’s at risk here.

They can’t be committing murder, because of a pact that was made years and years ago. I love Tim’s line about they made it in the anger and fog of war. No doubt, with his nickname alone, we can see how angry Tim was going into the service. How could he not be? He came from a household where his emotions were suppressed heavily. So there is zero doubt in my mind he went into the service full of anger. Not only angry but loyal af as we know. That combination alone would result in this pact/vow being made.

Tim is almost reflecting on how much he has grown since that moment in time. There was a lot of talk about the ways Tim hasn’t changed following this episode. Hell even inside this ep with him keeping Lucy at bay. But he has. He changed so very much since Lucy came into his life. It’s why he brings up the lives they’ve built. The life he is currently building with his soulmate. The jobs they hold.

That angry young man doesn’t exist anymore. The one who would murder for his squad in retaliation. Now Tim still has that instinct in him. Don’t get me wrong; scorched earth for those who mess with his loved ones. But this? This situation puts the life he’s built at risk. Puts the love of his life at risk within the department. Unfortunately Tim is still loyal af and Greer uses that against him.

Gas lights him some more. Saying how they’ll never get to build lives because of Ray. Pulling on that thread of guilt that lives deep inside Tim's soul. Trying to reawaken a man that is long gone at this point. But is still loyal to a fault. Weighed down with enough tortured guilt to keep this going. I resent Mark for using it against him I really do. Friggin stunard...My Italian rage coming out for Greer.

It’s here we find out more about what went down between them all. Not only that but WHY him being around is such a damn problem for Tim/Mark. I would be remiss if I didn't note this. How much I am enjoying Tim in street clothes. Mmm nice and scruffy too. He is scruffy most of this season and I am here for it. He looks so good in that jacket it’s sinful. How can he make such a simple jacket so attractive? Yum. Ray asks what they’re doing here? Greer pipes in to bring him to justice. He asks for what?

Tim starts to list off the numerous reasons why. Going AWOL, faking his death, felony grand theft, stealing half million from the government. Just to name a few sweet lord… Then to top it off, he called in an air strike on his own guys when they came for him. Ugh. Real peach this one. That there wasn’t enough of Henderson and Coyle to fit in a shoe box….ooof. It’s here we find out what Ray has on them. That he read the after action report. That it didn’t read that way. Tim justifies it by saying it only reads that way so his wife and daughter got his death benefits.

Of course that’s the most Tim Bradford thing ever. ‘Some things matter more.’ Only breaking the rules if it’s for the greater good. We talk a lot about Lucy’s empathy but don’t sleep on Tim’s. It runs very very deep. This is proof it was a huge part of him before the Isabel trauma buried it and Lucy resurrected it. That being said this doesn’t look good at all for Tim. By bringing Ray in it endangers their service record and their current jobs. Because as kind as what they did was. It has consequences because they lied on an official government document. My stomach turned even farther with this scene.

Eric KILLS me in this portion. This man has no right making me this emotional. How has he not won any awards? His beautiful shimmering blue eyes cutting me deep. Eric is so expressive in just his eyes alone. But he gives this scene everything he’s got in his arsenal my god. They get away from Ray’s to talk. Tim immediately says they’re not killing him. It’s not happening. (Someone needs to capture this scene in gif form BTW) It's a crime there isn't one. Mark tries to appeal he’s dead anyways.

Tim won’t hear of it. Says it won’t matter when the nightmares come knocking. And we know he’s had those nightmares. Not just about the service but about 5x19. About the life he was forced to take. Tim says they need to just come clean about everything. They don’t have a choice. Greer fights him some more. Saying it’s just going to blow up their lives as a result. Tim tells him he won’t let that happen. He’ll take the fall for him. Ugh Tim no. You have a life that’ll get blown up too my love. A woman who would be devastated to watch this take you down.

There's a Lyric from a band I love. "A thousand scars betray me Oh, what's another one?" That is Tim in this moment. What's one more emotional scar? Better than Greer losing his life because of what he chose. Tim's integrity is one of my fav traits about him. It’s the one I relate to the most. Because I am the same way. It drives a lot of my decisions. He's so willing to fall on his sword because he bears the weight of that decision still. Mark pleads some more but Tim won’t have it. Says he can’t with tears in his eyes. (I'm fine....) He is not that hot headed young man anymore. Life has kicked him around and he’s seen things. This isn’t the path and he won’t let Greer take it.

Tim follows up with he won’t let him do it. Even if it’s without him. It’s here where Eric just rips my heart out with his performance. When Mark asks him if he would arrest him if he killed Ray? It’s the way his voice breaks. Tears threatening to fall when he chokes out ‘Yes.’ Rip my heart right out writers sweet lord. Greer says he’s out then. But I wanna deck him for his reply after that. He hangs all future crimes Ray does on Tim. I don’t curse very often in these. But how fucking dare you sir. How dare you put that on this man.

He is already riddled with so much guilt and shame. His soul is ten times heavier than it should be. Because Tim shoulders things deeply. Not only that he does it solo. A chunk of what weighs his soul down isn’t even his fault. Tim is a much deeper empath than he’s given credit for as I stated earlier. He absorbs the feelings and pain of those around him. Takes them in and never lets it go. It’s why he was and honestly still is so rigid as a cop. That iconic line ‘Rules matter boot.’ Was his PTSD in a line and we had no idea back in S2.

Because anytime this man has let his guard down to break the rules it’s hurt him. Mitch, Isabel and we now find out about this. Tim did the right thing and yet he’s paying the price not Ray. It’s the hitch in his breath as Mark takes off that’s the final emotional blow for me. I just want to hug him so much. The way he tries to catch his breath after he’s gone. Finally releasing all the emotions he was bottling up. You can see why he was wants to retreat to one person who will make him feel whole again. It’s why his next scene is with Lucy….

This scene we get to see Melissa shine along side Eric. Killing us softly with their angsty goodness. We watch the sheer amount of relief run across Lucy’s face. It's evident when she hears his keys in the door. The happy relief is fleeting though. Her opening line is salty af as it should be. ‘Oh good, you’re not dead.’ She is ready to rip into him and rightfully so. Hurts to watch but she has every damn right to. She kept it together for work. But now that he’s in front of her she doesn’t have to. Her sass turns into the anxiety and worry she’s gone through. Telling him that his sorry isn't good enough. (it’s not…)

Saying she spent the last THIRTY-SIX hours. (That's a day and a half Timothy...) Worried he was bleeding out in various landmarks all over the city. Ugh poor Lucy. That’s very taxing on your nervous system to be in that state of mind for that long. That’s way too long to go without communication. But this is pre-therapy Tim so...Communication isn’t his strong suit when he isn’t in fight or flight mode. One of my fav lines of the scene. ‘Telling me you’re alive is NOT optional.’ Hell no it's not. The hitch in her voice and tears in her eyes. Gah killing it Mel.

Trying to communicate clearly to him this behavior isn’t going to fly. Not ever. Rewatching this season, it pains me how many hints the writers gave us about their communication problems. Now Lucy is trying here. With telling him what he did was not ok in the least. She then asks what the hell is making him so crazy? Expecting him to tell her. Tim’s reply is vague and only serves to make her angrier. Especially when he says he’s doing it to protect her status at the station. She asks if he committed a crime?

The irony of this scene is that radio being prominently shown. How it was a happy thing 36 hours ago. Now it’s a symbol of their dysfunctional communication as a couple. Tim tells her no…Not technically. The fire continues to build in Lucy. Angrily retorting how it’s serious enough she could be disciplined for not reporting it then. Tim tries to do his protection line for her but it doesn’t land at all. The fire in her is raging at this point. She stands up and angrily asks what he’s doing here then? Tim is so taken aback by this. His reply breaks my heart. Stumbling over himself ‘I...I came to see you…’

To Tim it’s his default to go to her. When he’s upset or lost he goes to Lucy. Seeking her out like the sanctuary she’s always been for him. Has been for years. Even more so since they got together. Tim came to be near his comforter and happy place. Wanting her to envelop him in her arms and take his hurt away. Unfortunately my love, she can’t help or take away what she doesn’t know about. It’s why her hellfire continues on. Lucy absolutely obliterates him with her reply. 'To what? Order take in? Watch TV? Pretend like nothing is going on?' Tim so desperately wants to sink into solace he’s used to. But he won’t let himself tell her what's going on.

Thus denying himself the one thing he came here for. Her. Lucy (who is wearing the same blouse from 5x12 btw. Way to push the knife deeper writers) tells him if he’s not here to tell her to truth.... We pan back to Tim’s face. She can read him like a book and knows he’s not going to. She then tells him he’s needs to leave. My heart is on the floor at this point. I totally understand her drawing this boundary. I truly do. Lucy is trying to show him there are consequences to his actions. Holding him accountable. That he needs to communicate and trust her. Lucy wants him to see despite the ramifications she is there for him. Sadly Tim doesn’t see this hence her asking him to leave. My poor shipper heart.

To make matters worse Eric is personally attacking me with his teary eyes and hurt puppy dog expression. Had to get this gif in. Why? Because it beautifully captures the devastation of her sending him away. We haven’t seen him this visibly upset since 4x09. Except this time his person isn’t there to make his tears go away. She is the one causing them and sending him away. The range of emotions flitting across his face has me bawling my eyes out. The man deserves all the awards once again. The way his eyes convey so much. How utterly wrecked he is. It's written all over his expression.

Eric brought it so hard in this episode holy hell. Tim came to her seeking out the comfort of normalcy from her. As we all know our boy needs his routine and structure to stay sane. Lucy has become an intricate part of that. He sought out his girlfriend to stabilize himself. Sadly there was no comfort to be found for him. Gotta give to get my poor broken boy. As much as it’s frustrating to watch him do this I get it. As I said earlier he has the tendency to shoulder burdens alone. It’s how he has survived most of his life. Doesn't excuse it just explains it.

His childhood is a massive proponent of why he operates this way. He came from an abusive household as we all know. Where he had to turn off his emotions and learn not to ask for help. If he did it only served to further the abuse. Also it was looked upon as weak. Was seen as useless if you did. When that is ingrained in you at an early age it is so friggin hard to get rid of it. It's an instant default for him. It’s not something being loved properly just gets rid of. If anything it only makes it worse on some level. Because it means you something to lose as Tim does in Lucy.

To explain Tim’s side of it I need to give a little piece of me. I can relate because of what my mother did to me growing up. It’s something I fight to this very day. I hope one day it’ll be easier and less of a deep grove in my brain I go to. Most of my childhood as I’ve shared was full of emotional abuse. My mom didn’t like it if you spoke your mind or messed up in any way. If you did you got the silent treatment for weeks on end. I wish I was kidding. She once went three weeks without speaking to me as a kid. Pretending like I didn’t exist. Felt like I didn’t have a mother. As I got older her default punishment only got worse. When I went to college my baby sister got engaged couple years in.

To a wonderful man. They're still married and happy btw. But my mother could see herself losing her control over my sister. Told me to pick between her and my baby sister. The choice was easy. I picked my sister. She then abandoned me and didn’t speak to me for 18 months after that. Her doing that made me feel like, whenever I stand up for myself or make a mistake with someone I love, I’m going to be abandoned. I just recently got into a fight with said sister. I had that exact same panic after I stood up for myself thinking she was going to discard me. She has proven time and again that’s not true. It’ll never be true. My sister and her husband have always made room for me in their lives here in CO. Made me feel loved unconditionally.

The same will be true when I join them in TN when I move. And yet that deep ingrained thought that she would abandon me still appeared. Worried that because I had stood up for myself she would do what my mom did. She didn’t cause loves me. But I’m still not used to the idea of unconditional love. It’s hard to grasp when you’ve never really had it before. So this is where I related to Tim so hard and defaulting to doing this alone. I’m in my 30s and this still affects me deeply even with therapy. Tim is pre-therapy and not seeing the unconditional love Lucy has for him. Which is a precursor for 6x06 honestly. You could have the best human in the world loving you and still not accept it or understand that you even have it.

Tim doesn’t know how to ask for help and to see Lucy would love him through his mistakes. He’s protecting her but also himself in this moment. Because he’s ashamed of what he’s involved in. That she won’t love him anymore due to his past sins. So he’s keeping her at a distance from him. Thinking it’s protecting her from his toxic past. But also protecting him from losing her as well. This scene, sadly, is the result of many miscommunications since they started boiling up and over. A gradual escalation toward breaking apart. This was a incredibly hard scene to stomach and watch. Lucy is vibrating with how upset she is when he says ‘Understood’ and leaves. Un-break my heart you guys.

Another banger of a song running through this final scene. The songs always hit and work so well with the tempo of a scene. It’s ’Teeth.’ By mallrat. Have a whole playlist of songs from this show I love it. We see Lucy looking at her phone fighting the urge to call Tim. Despite their epic fight she misses him. It clearly shows. Tamara brings her out of her thoughts by plopping on the couch. Asking her what she's doing?I adore her saying she is going to be a good girlfriend. Trust her man. *heart damn clutch* HER MAN. It’s the little morsel we all needed after that heated argument of insane pain.

I am most grateful for Tamara in this moment. Wanted to shove her out the door in the opening scene though. LOL Nolan is such a failure to be there for Lucy earlier in the ep. Where as Tamara is clutch af in this moment. She is emotional support while Lucy goes through this. Talks it out with her. Tamara asks if she’s heard anything? Lucy tells her about their heated fight last night. That it’s been their only contact….That Tim just stood there. Lucy seems so at a loss and it hurts my heart.

Tamara makes her laugh and says they should put a tracker in his truck lmao Lucy calling her out for being a bad influence. Tamara follows up that No, she’s just a really good teacher. Lucy is floored replying what? Wasn't able to fit this in but her lessons learned are hilarious. No coffee in gun hand and head on a swivel. The swivel part had me laughing so hard. What a goober. I love them. Just the levity Lucy needed. I need more of them in S7.

We pan back to Tim in his truck. Longingly looking at his phone. Specifically at Lucy’s contact page. He is breaking on the inside without her and yet can’t force himself to let her in. Also would’ve killed me if it had a pic of Lucy or of them. I would’ve legit died of happiness. What a missed opportunity writers. He is missing her so much and is dying to reach out. Wants her by his side but can’t overcome his wiring to do so.

His default is to go to her. To talk to her. Once again just another look into their broken communication. When one stops so does the other and it goes to shit. They are partners in every sense of the word except for their communication. They were stellar at that with work. It blows my mind how quickly that broke down when they got together. They had something extra special to lose when they did though. *sigh* s7 you have work to do.

We see Tim refocus his sights on Ray. Tasked with the mantle Mark Greer thrust upon him. He’s now on a crusade to catch him before Tim has anything else to add to his soul…. Phew this was an emotionally draining one to get though and it’s not even the harder of two. Phew lord. Thank you to every single one of you reading these, liking them, reblogging or commenting (love me some comments don’t be shy) they mean the world to me. I shall see you all in 6x06 where can sob together. ❤️

Side notes-non chenford

All the Aaron and Blair scenes are so icky knowing her endstory. Bleh.

Beauty of rewatching I can skip all the Nolan content. Snoozeville again.

Smitty only hanging out in therapy office for snacks lmao Needed in a tense episode

Lucy’s crack about asking Celina To Aaron. Lmao. Commend our girl for cracking jokes and keeping her shit together on shift.

Nolan is absolutely useless when Lucy comes to him for help. Their friendship truly fell apart when Jackson died. Any rapport or connection shot to hell. He can’t read the utter panic she is in and I hate him for it. As useful as a paper hat in a rainstorm to keep you dry.

Also the lyrics used earlier from my fav bad RED. The lyrics ARE TIM. In this episode to a tee Here's the link https://genius.com/Red-cauterize-lyrics

[descendinginto-madness]

welt except he has a fever and desperately needs sleep

cw: descriptions of illness, high fever, being kinda delirious/out of it, sleep deprivation?, nightmares, headaches, mentions of death

contains spoilers for welt's hi3 lore

also, disclaimer! welt in here is very reluctant to ask for help and feeling bad about it because... well i imagine he'd react like this, BUT! needing help and asking for it is completely normal and valid and okay; please remember that and take care of urself ok!! ily /p

alright, so...

i'm gonna be honest since i found @bugbytez13 's blog welt sickfic ideas don't want to leave my head LMAO except i will write a detailed description of a fic instead of the fic itself. that's it that's the post

tbh this ramble in particular could be made into two separate fanfics (one sickfic and one specifically about the nightmares) but shh

i will forever be self conscious or anxious about things i post that aren't just headcanons or silly little rambles, but also... writing this went surprisingly smoothly so! enjoy the essay or something idk HAHA

======================================

so, about welt...

i just know this man is going to force himself to stay awake. maybe his self-sacrificing issues are less present now, and he doesn't immediately throw himself in danger in every fight ever, but he's still stubborn as hell. so he won't admit something is wrong. he won't admit that maybe getting way too little sleep several days in a row wasn't doing wonders for his immune system and he's now finally feeling the consequences. to be fair, he expected it might end like this, but he didn't want to take breaks - there's still too many things to take care of before they finally head to penacony. and now, he will still insist of taking care of everything, even though his body is basically begging him to go take a nap.

except maybe, he didn't even expect it to get this bad. or thought that he can just power through it. i mean, he's been through much worse, right? this is nothing compared to literally losing his body for some time. but he's sitting in the parlor car, and he's half awake, and unusually cold, and his head is hurting, and keeping up the act is getting harder and harder - but he has to, because the younger members of the crew are here too, even if only march is talking to him.

but they pick up on the fact that something is wrong, of course they do. his eyes are unfocused, he looks like he's about to fall asleep - or pass out - and march had to repeat herself twice for him to even fully process what she was asking him, and so suddenly stelle is next to him, attempting to touch his forehead - and he recoils. "i'm fine," he says, and it's probably a bit too quick and a bit too firm than he'd like it to be, and all of this is stupid, really, because he shouldn't be scared of someone touching him. how hot can it really be anyway if he's feeling so cold, right? but if that wasn't enough dan heng asks an even more dreaded question, "are you sure, mr yang? do you want us to call himeko?" and welt decides it's time to excuse himself, before he makes them even more worried. because even in his present state, he can pick up on the fact they're concerned, but at the same time unsure of what to do, and it makes him feel guilty. of course they're unsure; he's usually their caretaker, and he always knows what to do, and it should never be the other way around. he should've just stayed in his room all day, shouldn't he.

"thank you all for your concern, but i'm alright." he stands up. "now, please excuse me, i still have some work to do." of course that's true, but he's almost certain he won't be able to focus on that- but he just needs an excuse to get out from here and be left alone anyway.

but stelle is right next to him, and looking determined to accompany him to his room, too. "you look like you're about to fall, mr yang," they explain, and he wants to insist that he's okay once again, but realizes he's too tired to do so. it would take him at least a few minutes, and it's a few minutes he doesn't have nearly enough energy for. he just wants to finally lie down. so, he lets stelle essentially escort him into the hallway and to his bedroom, and make sure he doesn't collapse on his way there, and-- it's embarassing, honestly, because it's already so difficult for him to show himeko the slightest hints that something might be wrong, and right now the situation is similar but ten times worse - so it's also ten times harder for him to come to terms with the fact he needs to rely on someone.

"my... apologies for making you all worry," he says quietly when they reach his room, and he's so thankful that he left the lights off, because the parlor car was way too bright, and though the hallway was a bit better, it still wasn't good.

"it's alright," stelle shakes her head, and stands there in the doorway, even as he heads towards his bed and sits down. "i'll ask himeko to check up on you in a bit?" she asks, and he only nods, though he isn't sure if she can actually see it. he doesn't want to talk anymore, he doesn't want to think because even just that seems to make his headache worse, he just wants stelle to leave, he just wants to sleep-- he isn't even sure if he understood her question correctly, but he also doesn't have the energy to care. he falls asleep the moment the door closes behind her, fully clothed and half covered with a thick blanket, but even then he isn't allowed a peaceful rest.

memories from old battles flash before his eyes, silhouettes of enemies he once fought, those against whom he won - but also of those who severly injured or even killed him, and with that come the memories of the pain

and the fear of losing his body again.

when he finally awakens, sweating, shaky for reasons other than his fever, and still feeling pretty awful, it takes him longer than usual to remember where he is. it takes him longer than usual to remember that he's safe.

but now there's medicine and a thermometer on his nightstand, and a note written in himeko's neat handwriting - though he actually spots and reads it some time later - telling him to rest as much as he needs to, because she'll take care of everything; and only after he does read it and feels a sense of relief come over him, he realizes how much the thought of having to leave all the work in order to take a break actually stressed him out. he still feels bad about it, because of course he does, and of course he's going to apologize to everyone later.

but he's also able to sleep more peacefully now.

[magical-oppas]

Now that the season is over, here are my predictions as to what will make it into Drive to Survive.

!Disclaimer! DTS was my entry into this sport. I think the show is great in its own way and an excellent way to reach new fans, this is mostly just for fun. (If you can't make fun of the things you love I'm the wrong person to have on your dash)

Here is my list in no particular order

HAAS: They love a HAAS focused episode, partly because it brings Steiner into the picture. I personally never got why people like him but if it works it works I guess. Expect many "Suck my balls" jokes. Otherwise we are scheduled for our regular viewing of HAAS being absolutely washed on track with Guenther calling Gene every five minutes.

Qatar: Things they WONT cover about Qatar; the drivers collapsing and passing out from heat exhaustion, the tracklimits and tyre fiasco. Things they WILL cover about Qatar; the mercs crashing into eachother on lap 1 (with THAT clip of Lewis playing like 50 times), Oscar winning the sprint. I imagine them spinning it in a way that makes the sprint a huge deal (cue clip of Will Buxton talking about how essential the sprint is for F1 as a sport and almost more important than the grand prix itself). This brings me to my next point

Civil wars: We have the real civil wars and the fake ones. I imagine them using the Qatar gp to make up a war between Oscar and Lando, framing it as Oscar as a rookie getting a win before Lando. Not sure who they are gonna make the villain here, probably Lando. They could also fabricate one at Ferrari given how this car suits Carlos more than Charles, will probably blow Monza out of proportion. Merc civil war might get a whole episode(be honest, we all know that one is a competitive car away from blowing up). The french civil war is the one I'm looking forward to the most because BOY do those two like to play it dirty. I'm frothing at the mouth already to see the backhanded compliments, the jabs, the shady comments they have probably been giving in the dts interviews. Speaking of Alpine

Alpine vs Mclaren(Oscar): This is a must because they made that whole thing last season. Episode will start out with a really smug Alpine team but we will get to witness the horrible car crash of a season they are having with the amazing dts editing. Can't wait to see the Silverstone part where they show the double DNF side by side with the Mclarens celebrating a p2 p4.

Singapore: The only non Redbull winner so I will be surprised if they don't feature it. They also love a dramatic crash and Lance's one in Singapore qualy is probably the most intense one we had this season. Will probably also use the onboard footage from Lando to show the tyre skirting by him to really amp it up.

Red bull: Will it be about their amazing achievements as a team this year? No. Will it be about Max and his fantastic race craft and the way he hasn't put a single foot wrong? No. It will be about Checo and his struggles. Will also have interviews of Christian defending him that become fewer and fewer the longer into the season we go. The win streak and the domination will be mentioned only in contrast to Checo. I also have a theory that red bull might drop checo and if they do I promise you the reveal in the show will go exactly like this:

Christian: We have given him time and patience, but at some point we need to start looking elsewhere, Mclaren have an amazing pairing, Mercedes have an amazing pairing even Ferrari have really started to get into their groove. He really left us no choice.

*Dramatic music, cut to black*

"Hi I'm Daniel Ricciardo and I'm a driver for Red Bull racing. Fuck, that felt so good to say *big Daniel smile.*"

Las Vegas: Will be shown as the most epic race this season with all drivers hyping it up (Might be able to include Max in that one with enough editing). What they WONT cover: all of the thursday/free practice shenanigans. What they WILL cover: The fact that the race was a banger.

Alpha Tauri: They have the perfect angle for this set up already. Nyck was talking himself up big time last season so they are just gonna overlay that with Nyck having a mare on track. They're gonna make whole "I'm back bitches" thing with Daniel. Then they're gonna make his accident real tragic (they could also make it into a Thing that it was Oscar that Daniel tried to avoid when putting it in the wall). Not really sure what they're gonna make out of Liams short stint.

Ferrari vs Mercedes fight for p2 is gonna be HELLA dramatic. They are going to drag out that race and insert radio messages where they don't belong. I also think they are gonna make it look like Carlos was closer to Lewis in the race than what he actually was.

As I said, these are just my speculations. based on the way the show has been and are mostly just for fun.

[mariaelenaariente]

Astro Observations - all sign placements

coming from an esoteric and evolutionary astrologer

The pictures used are not mine

In-depth Natal Chart Analysis - reconnect with your Soul and uncover the Divine within you

Learn natal astrology

(These are not in any particular order)

Pisces placements often refuse their own spiritual abilities unless they're really in tune with their chart and Soul purpose. I've noticed this so many times - these natives have the most potential for a natural connection to the divine, yet they so often dismiss it. This can be related to a variety of things, but I believe it mostly comes down to them being subconsciously scared to detach from the material plane and trust their innate wisdom (which often goes against what society has taught us). However when a native with strong Piscean energy does connect to the divine, they're unstoppable and enlightening.

Leo placements (yes I'm a big fan of these) have so much light in them. I can't stand all the "they're so egoistical" bullsht. Of course some will be, especially the unevolved ones, but let's be honest: most are scared of healed strong Leo energy because they don't get them (and our society really isn't built for someone like them living according to their highest vibrations). Leos are strong, brave, loving, joyous, and have enormous hearts. They're simply made out of pure love and I will not be arguing about this.

Natives with an abundance of Taurus placement will not ever forget how you did them wrong. It's a matter of time before their disappointment exceeds their feelings for you and they snap (and when they do it's truly awful). I know that we like to think Cancers are the most likely to hold grudges (and to an extent they are, but in a much more different way) but a fixed sign will really think about that for the rest of their lives. If they do happen to also have Cancer placements, forget ever being really forgiven (unless they're particularly conscious).

Scorpio placements are really not as vengeful as people believe them to be. They are ruled by Pluto - what they do is transform and outgrow their pain. Yes their anger is strong and all-consuming, but ultimately they're meant to let it go to be able to better themselves. And let's be honest, Scorpio placements have to go through so much. They're asked to face pain and discomfort throughout most of their lives. A conscious native will transform this into their greatest strength, they won't plan their revenge for years. They know something greater's coming.

Gemini placements are the true intellectuals of the zodiac. Wait, before you come for me (lately it seems that most only call them chatty and annoying), hear me out. I'm not saying they're smarter than anyone, but they are the most invested in learning about the world. This can take many different forms based on their unique chart, and most of the time the form it takes is chaotic. They may not follow the traditional educational path. Where Aquarius placements are invested in learning, yes, Gemini placements are also invested in applying what they've learned. They're unlikely to really dedicate their lives to one subject - but they will dedicate their life to continuously grow and stimulate their intellect. There's so much more to be said here.

Aries placements generally have a hard time accepting themselves. They carry so much enthusiasm and energy with them, more often than not they'll be deemed "too much". This can really hinder their spirit - these natives need a lot of freedom and acceptance from their early childhood to grow into their confidence and powerful drive. If they don't get it, they often tend to retreat within themselves and hold back their energy. This is the root of the stereotypical Aries anger - they've often been suppressing themselves for years.

Aquarius placements often need to give others better credit for the lessons they teach them. Giving gratitude is an important lesson they need to learn in this lifetime. Yes, gratitude. Even for their hurts. Possibly especially for their hurts. They have the ability to easily recognize patterns in human behavior, and they wouldn't be able to exercise this if they isolate. If an Aquarian numbs their emotions and doesn't realize the great (soon to be positive) impact a bad experience had for them they'll be unable to learn from it.

Virgo placements can be just as loving as the stereotypical maternally affectionate Cancerian. Their typical pickiness when it comes to choosing whether to let someone into their life or not is their way of evaluating possible hurts and protecting themselves from it. A healed Virgo native however will not be running away from someone based on the rationalization they made of the situation - a healed Virgo will have a highly developed intuition and be a channel for divine messages - they'll just know what is right for them without the need to judge the situation. And if the situation is indeed right, they'll be some of the most loving and dedicated people in your life.

Libra, Capricorn, Cancer, and Sagittarius placements coming soon.

In-depth Natal Chart Analysis - reconnect with your Soul and uncover the Divine within you

Learn natal astrology

[raayllum]

also cause I'm not there yet in my 5x08 liveblog but because even just a whiff of "Callum gave Finnegrin the spell" made the fandom troll come running into my inbox to say otherwise, just wanna clear up a few things for peace of mind before we get there

The first is that I know it was the fandom troll because of the timing & presentation, not necessarily because the now deleted/blocked ask had the "Callum purposefully gave Finnegrin the wrong spell" take. While that was an indication to me that this was probably the fandom troll since they seem to take issue with my characterization of Callum in particular, perfectly smart reasonable people have also proposed that possibility of the spell ingredients being not entirely accurate as purposeful; it's not exclusive to crappy people by any measure.

With all that in mind, I want to discuss how I view the scene (and indeed how I think it's meant to be interpreted per a casual viewer reading) as well as why I think Callum giving Finnegrin a not word-for-word accurate actually kind of makes his choice more morally questionable, not less

So let's begin

1) I don't think the scene's intended takeaway is that Callum gave Finnegrin the wrong spell

I think Callum panicked, and he folded, and he would've told Finnegrin anything the pirate had asked for in that moment to try and spare Rayla's life. While TDP is an immensely detailed show in many ways (hell I have a tag dedicated to just those details), every scene still has to ultimately work for a casual viewer. I don't think this scene is any exception. One of the first things in the series that we learn is that humans took down the King of the Dragons with dark magic and it's a repeated fact throughout most of the first season, and into the third when we see the events that transpired exactly.

So when Finnegrin mentions it, we're probably going to remember that was a thing that happened and it involved Harrow and Viren, but we're probably not going to remember the specific ingredients. Therefore, like Finnegrin, most audience members are going to take Callum at his word, especially since throughout most of his conversation with Finnegrin, Callum is arguably far more honest than he needs to be (fessing up that he did dark magic at all, mentioning that he studies all the primals, that he did the spell to save a friend at all - which is exactly why Finnegrin sets him the hand cutting test to try and break him, etc). The scene - again, for the audience's benefit - even as Callum clarify for those that wouldn't remember why he was spouting things about dying breaths and unicorn horns, because again, I do think this is the Intended Takeaway:

Part of the reason I think Callum panicked (other than Jack de Sena's wonderful voice acting and uneven breaths) is because, if Callum was thinking clearly enough to withhold information purposefully, he could've considered 1) that Finnegrin is bluffing about threatening Rayla (Callum cannot see her or any of the others, so that could be the case) and 2) Finnegrin would have limited means to know that Callum was lying if Callum said exclusively the wrong ingredients and sent him on a wild goose chase. To give as much as he did accurately was dangerous (but we'll talk more about that in a second).

We also know from instances in the previous seasons and just the prior episode that Callum doesn't have all sky spells (ones that he can do whenever he wants basically) memorized either, and that it's not out of the realm of possibility that Viren would've fudged a little to Harrow about some components of the spell (such as emphasizing love and hatred) because he was actively trying to convince - somewhat guilt-trip and manipulate - Harrow into doing something didn't really want to do, but ultimately couldn't say no to.

However, one of the things that's the most fun meta is reading into things deeply, looking at various character interpretations, and seeing what we can find below the surface level / casual viewership read. Just because something may not be the 'intended takeaway' (which can already be hard to define) doesn't mean it's not a real possibility, especially if enough dots connect, and doesn't mean it's not worthwhile and or without merit.

So let's look at the scene from the assumption that Callum is giving Finnegrin a not totally accurate spell On Purpose - what does he omit, what does that tell us, and where does that leave us from a character standpoint?

2) Haha, jk, unless...?

First things first, let's look at what Callum says vs what Viren says

No, no, wait! A dying breath. Blood filled with hatred. And a unicorn horn. That's the dark magic you want.

In her final moments, I captured something that I hoped we could use later. It contains her dying breath. [...] Claudia captured a unicorn and brought me its horn. The dying breath. The unicorn's pure horn. There's one last component I need. The undying hatred of one who loved the victim. Your blood.

Now, even Viren's stance and the circumstances of the spell isn't entirely clear. We don't know if any dying breath would do, or if it had to be Sarai's (and had to go her killer, as opposed to someone else). We don't know if the spell requires the unicorn's horn to be 'pure' (I'm assuming not already corrupted somehow with dark magic) or if it would work regardless. And we don't know whether the hatred or love is more important, or just one, or if they're equally important. It's quite a list, after all.

Which is why I think in some ways Callum's lack of specificity actually makes what Callum told Finnegrin more dangerous, whether you read the minor omissions as intentional or not.

Cause think of it this way, you're a pirate lord and you want to kill your enemy. You heard from this mage kid that any dying breath would do. What's your next move going to be? You're probably going to murder a random member of your crew and collect the breath because you were never told it had to be your loved one's final breath (which would make the spell impossible).

So that's one murder down, bare minimum. Then you're going to either send people out or word that you're looking for a unicorn horn at a port where people already canonically smuggle dark magic supplies (Chasing Shadows, TDP reflection). This will either lead to you hiring people to eliminate one of the - it appears to be - few remaining unicorns that still exist to bring you the horn, or if you've put out a reward, multiple dark mages / mercenaries may try their hand at killing one and bringing the horn to you. That's probably 1-5 unicorn murders as a result, if the mages are working not in communication with each other and all vying for the reward. This is also assuming that none of the mercenaries or mages come back empty handed and get harmed or killed because of Finnegrin's anger at their failures.

You also might torment and torture someone else to get them to hate you before you drain them of blood / take their blood for the spell, again not realizing that 'love' has to be a facet of it. At best, that would maybe be what you do to the crew member before you kill them for their final breath.

Then, once he has all the ingredients (and he'd need some sort of incantation, because dark magic is a lot of steps and processes) there's two main avenues.

Either these all work and he successfully has his weapon of vengeance needed to kill Domina Profundis, because what was given was enough. This would mean Callum's actions led to about 2-3 successful murders of mostly innocent people and possibly more political upheaval at the death of another archdragon (the ocean would certainly be out of whack, but it's not clear how much, if any, political power Domina still holds).

It doesn't work and Finnegrin, stubborn as he is about control and loathe to admit he can't commandeer something (magic and wills included), figures that something went wrong and tries again, having to collect the ingredients all over again. Depending on how many times he'd try (I feel like maybe 2-3 max), this could put those murders up to maybe nine innocent individuals, assuming Finnegrin's worsening temper over his failures doesn't increase the tally.

Rattling off the accurate spell ingredients could've actually minimized the damage, because any of the specifics might've stopped Finnegrin in his tracks. If Finnegrin just needed hatred of one who loved the victim, he could've fulfilled that on his own with some of his own blood ("I loved that crab" and her definitely hates Domina Profundis). The one that could've entirely halted his plan is if the dying breath had to come from the victim, in which case the chance to avenge his beloved crab is long gone. Finnegrin could've heard the list of very specific ingredients, deduced that he would not be capable of carrying out the spell, and been on his merry way to use Rayla as revenge fish bait.

But by giving Finnegrin an 'imperfect' list, Callum made the pirate captain more likely to engage in the violence required to get there, without an actual textual guarantee to the audience that what was given wouldn't have worked, either (aka we have two ingredients list and without a third to tip the scales, it'll always be a technical 50-50, maybe 60-40 read in favour of Viren).

So where does that leave us?

With these two readings in mind, you have two options:

Callum is willing to sacrifice Domina Profundis', and a few unnamed innocent lives/creatures, to save Rayla and thereby gave Finnegrin a dangerous in its own way, if not more dangerous because of potential increased collateral damage, list of spell ingredients, because he acted entirely out of emotionally fuelled panic where he wasn't totally thinking clearly

OR

Callum is willing to sacrifice unnamed innocent lives and creatures, but not Domina Profundis', in order save Rayla, because he decided on purpose to give Finnegrin a more achievable sounding list of ingredients that would increase collateral damage, but not let him kill the dragon, because he made a calculated decision on purpose that those lives were worth less than Rayla's and Domina's to him (for some reason, as she's a stranger to him)

To be clear, I would love the second option as an interpretation because I do think Callum can be calculating and I do think that's the far more Viren-like option - choosing what to sacrifice for other people in the mindset of harm mitigation ("A thousand men and women are prepared to fall protecting you tonight, but you won't let one sacrifice their lives for you?" / "If you must choose, choose the egg").

But again, given the framing of the scene I think the first reading is 1) more sympathetic and speaks to Callum's more compassionate emotional nature and 2) is the intended takeaway, but if people want to read it as Callum strategically deciding that certain lives - other than Rayla's - were worth sacrificing that so she and Domina Profundis wouldn't be killed, that is absolutely a valid prerogative.

It's just not mine