#but it *does* make me think about the apprentice and their relationship to their body/sense of self

[aaapplepie]

"I've never run into a creature so...successful at imitating humans..."

[ckret2]

Chapter 14 of Human Bill Is A Prisoner And Only Mabel Is Being Nice To Him (real title TBD), and the conclusion of the first big plot arc:

Also featuring: what Pacifica has been up to the past year! Dipper and Mabel arguing about Bill! The hand witch, briefly! Funny pranks that Ford does not think are funny! And other things.

####

Dipper and Mabel waved goodbye as they left the Hand Witch's cave. The witch, her boyfriend, and Mabel's spare right hand on the witch's shoulder waved back.

"Thanks for helping us out on such short notice," Dipper said.

"Oh, any time!" the witch said. "Come back whenever you like! I'll make tea and snacks again."

"Girl, you know I'm always up for more of your..." Mabel flashed the witch a pair of finger guns and a wink, "... finger food!"

Her spare hand made a finger gun back. The witch laughed so hard she wheezed. Her boyfriend leaned down to pat her back.

As Mabel and Dipper wove their way down the Hand Witch's mountain, Mabel said, "It's good to see she's found a relationship. She seems happy! And less desperate."

"I dunno, I'm kind of worried about that guy. What if he's just using her to learn her handomancy secrets?"

"Naaah, I'm not worried about him. He's a really bad apprentice. I think he's just letting her train him as a bonding activity. Like when girls let their boyfriends explain football so they can watch games together." Mabel turned to peer at the dark cave above. "Do you think Alehandra will be lonely without me?"

"Wh—you already named it?"

"Hands come in pairs, Dipper. Maybe she'd like a twin sister." She looked at Dipper's hands. "Or brother."

"Oh no. Uh-uh, I can see where this is going. We've already gotten in enough trouble with that stuff."

Mabel's phone buzzed. They must have gotten near enough town to get reception again. She pulled out her phone, saw a text from Soos, and swiped it open. "Mabel, this is Ford..."

"Speaking of growing extra hands," Dipper said. "Mabel... I think this whole thing is a bad idea. I mean—worse than it was originally. Getting Bill magic hair growth formula is one thing, but, growing extra limbs? I don't know what he could do with that, but he could do something."

Mabel's thumbs hovered over the screen, paralyzed as she tried to figure out what to tell Ford and Dipper at the same time.

The truth was, she'd had the same worry as Dipper. She lowered her phone. "Yeah, okay, maybe he could possibly do something with it hypothetically—but clearly the whole reason he asked for it was for the hair growth part! Because he's bald. So maybe he just... doesn't care about the rest? If we get only enough Hairy Fairy to regrow his hair and use it all up, then he won't have a chance to use it for anything evil, right?"

"Unless he's not even interested in regrowing his hair." Dipper pulled off his backpack and rummaging through it until he found the advertisement Ford had given him. "Look, everything in this ad lines up with what Bill told us about Hairy Fairy's history. If he knew that much, he definitely could know it can grow extra limbs. He might have even known it was coming back on the market before he saw the commercial! What if the only reason he burned off his hair was to manipulate us into getting this formula?"

"What would he do with a bunch of extra body parts?" Mabel asked. "He's clumsy enough with the ones he already has. I kinda think more would make him weaker."

"I don't know, but—I didn't know what he wanted a 'puppet' for, either, and see how that turned out?"

Mabel bit her lip, looking at Dipper's face—and then looked down at her phone, rereading the last sentence of Ford's text. "I'm worried he might be up to something nefarious."

She couldn't have this conversation in two places at once. She typed a quick reply to Ford—"It's too complicated to explain in text! I'll tell you when Dipper and I get home. (It's NOT dangerous, don't worry!) ❤️"—and stuffed her phone in her pocket. "Okay," she said. "Look. Sure, it makes sense to be extra paranoid with Bill—especially when we saw him finish his big master plan last summer—but honestly? I kinda don't think he's that good. Think about how many times Grunkle Ford says he tried and failed to get into our universe! I don't think he's a big alien super-genius with a careful zillion-year plan; I think he's just some guy that needed to try a zillion years just to get one plan to work. And that's... kind of lame. What can a guy like that do with hair formula?"

Dipper absorbed that. "Wow. Yeah, actually, when you put it that way, that—that isn't very impressive." He grimaced. "But—okay, even if he didn't have a complicated escape plan, what if he saw the hair formula and thought of one that he needs extra arms for—?"

"Dipper, we can 'but what if' Bill forever!" She flung out her hands in frustration. "If we second-guess everything he says, we'll start wondering stuff like 'what if he wants us to distrust him so he can reverse-psychology us into doing the thing he actually wants?' It'll drive us crazy! And letting Bill drive us crazy won't make us safer! We can't spend another summer being paranoid about Evil Bill Tricks!"

"Okay yeah, you have a point, but—why is the solution 'do what he wants'? Why isn't it 'tell him no, and cover our ears whenever he tries to say he wants something so we don't even know what he wants and he can't manipulate us'?"

Mabel's mind flashed back to the sad ghost under the zodiac blanket, huddled in a dusty corner. She looked at her feet and kicked a clump of grass self-consciously. "Because... he's sad and it's making me sad."

Dipper groaned. "Mabel."

"I know—"

"Mabel, he could be acting sad on purpose—"

"I know he could, I know, I KNOW!" Mabel let out all her accumulated Bill-induced frustration in a scream that startled several birds out of a nearby tree. She jumped furiously on the clump of grass. "He probably thinks I'm a big soft sucker! He's the worst and I hate him so much!"

"YES!" Dipper aimed a kick at the grass clump. "He's the worst ever! It's his fault we're even having this argument!"

"This summer was supposed to be different!"

"No apocalypses, no murder attempts, and no demon triangles!"

"No triangles at ALL! I don't even like geometry!"

When they'd collaboratively destroyed the grass clump, they fell silent, breathing heavily, staring at the upturned dirt. "I needed that," Mabel said. After a moment, she knelt down and tried to set the mangled grass back upright. The grass did nothing to deserve this.

Dipper leaned against a tree. "So. Are we giving up on the hair stuff?"

Mabel carefully patted a mound of dirt around what was left of the base of the grass. "I... still wanna go through with it."

Dipper had used up all his frustration on the grass. He sighed. "If you're gonna get that stuff for Bill no matter what I say, then... why are you trying to talk me into it?"

"Because I'm not going to do it. Not unless you agree."

"You... what?"

"Dipper, I feel like this is the right thing to do—but that's why I need to know what you think. The last time we didn't talk things out, the world almost ended! We always make better decisions together than we do apart. If I can't say anything that makes you think it's worth the risk, then—I'll give up. I'll tell Bill we couldn't get the stuff, and offer to get him a discount wig after Summerween, and... that's it." Mabel shrugged. "I'm scared too. I keep wondering stuff like 'what if he gives himself leg stilts and climbs out the chimney? What if he grows seven fingers and can finally overpower Ford?' But that's stupid."

She looked up at Dipper. "I want to make sure that if we give up, it's because there really is a danger. I don't want to refuse to help somebody suffering just because we're scared of him."

Dipper slid down to sit on the grass and watch Mabel give the grass clump first aid. Once Mabel was satisfied enough to sit back and wipe her hands off on her skirt, Dipper said, "Yeah. I am scared of him. He's tricked me with some misleading wording before, and I don't want it to happen again. I want to say I'm just being logical, but... right now, maybe I'm doing more feeling than thinking, too." He shrugged. "The truth is, I can't think of anything he could do with the hair growth formula that isn't so ridiculous, even I don't believe it's possible."

Mabel nodded. "Are you scared enough to say 'no'? If you are, we'll quit."

"No, I'm not." Dipper heaved a sigh. "I guess... let's do it. But I want to be as careful as possible. We'll get just barely enough to regrow his hair, one of us will apply the formula so he can't misuse it—"

"I can do that," Mabel said. "I've already slathered like a whole bucket of yellow paint on his face."

"Okay. And I'll watch the whole time as backup, in case he tries anything."

"Barty can watch from the vents as the backup-backup, too!"

"Good idea."

"Boom! Flawless plan!" Mabel grinned. "Now let's go see Pacifica!"

####

The address Pacifica had given them led to a small fenced-in pasture outside town.

Over the main gate was a sign that read "Platinum Alpaca Estates".

In the pasture, a half dozen pink-collar-wearing alpacas placidly grazed.

And standing in front of it all—wearing immaculately tailored lavender overalls, a set of white rhinestone-studded boots and cowboy hat, and a nervous smile—was Pacifica.

Dipper and Mabel gaped.

Dipper said, "What the— What is—"

"Pacifica what."

Pacifica held up her hands. "Okay wait, just let me explain! After my family lost our mansion last year, I could only keep one horse? Which was devastating! I needed to fill the void of hoofed mammals in my life somehow."

Mabel leaned over the fence. "So you got alpacas?"

"I was actually inspired by the llama sweater you gave me." Pacifica gave Mabel a small, crooked smile. "It reminded me that I've always secretly thought alpacas are cute, and I really like alpaca wool goods, so I thought... you know... what if I try it out?" She opened the gate, gesturing for the twins to follow her toward a small barn. "And I actually really love it! These are like, my babies. And I'm talking with some fashion brands about maybe selling them some luxury wool?"

She led them into the barn, and then into a small office being cooled by a window A/C unit. Several wool garments, protected in glass cases, were proudly displayed on the walls with labels underneath: "First Sweater", "First Scarf", "First Blanket"—

"Hey!" Mabel pointed at the familiar blanket, creamy white with the anti-Bill zodiac in ochre yellow. "That's the one I made! Did the yarn you sent me to make it come from your alpacas?"

"It did! You're the first person to make anything with their wool."

"Whoa."

"I actually want to use my symbol from the circle as our brand. I'm waiting to hear from my copyright lawyer about who I need to talk to for the rights to the image—if it's you or your great-uncle, or if it's still with the tribe that left the valley like a thousand years ago, or if it's public domain," Pacifica said. "It's a vague enough shape, I think it could look like either a llama or an alpaca, right?"

Mabel considered what Bill had said about Pacifica's symbol, considered the small alpaca herd visible through the office window, and said, "I have it on good authority that it's supposed to be an alpaca."

"So, wait," Dipper said. "What does this have to do with your modeling job?"

"The ranch isn't turning a profit yet. I'm still in talks with the brands that want our wool, and in the meantime I've got to hire more people to help. I don't know the hard stuff about taking care of alpacas, I just kind of brush their wool and make friends with them while my employees do the hard stuff."

Dipper snorted.

"Hey! I'm learning! But I've only been doing this a few months." Pacifica sank down into her desk chair, propping her chin in her hands. "Almost all my allowance and side gig income is going toward my alpacas. My parents don't want to invest in my startup!" She pouted. "They said if I want to act like a rancher instead of a socialite, it'll be on my own dime."

"So that's why you're working two summer jobs?" Dipper said. "Oh, man. I should have known something was up. I thought it was weird when you said your parents wouldn't pay for a spring and summer wardrobe."

"Yeah, I spent my spring wardrobe budget on this barn," Pacifica said. "I figure I'm investing in my future wardrobe, you know?"

Mabel planted her hands on Pacifica's desk. "Pacifica, I can see how important this is. I've run a business myself—I appreciate the pressure you're under. But, how about this: we could help each other! If you get us a tiiiny bit of that formula, I'll come over once a week for the rest of summer to help out with your alpacas. For free!"

Pacifica blinked. "What?"

"And that way, even if you do get in trouble and lose your Hairy Fairy job, you'll still have someone to help you out!"

Dipper's eyes widened. "Um—Pacifica, could you give us a moment?" He grabbed Mabel's elbow and tugged her out of the office.

"What is it?"

Dipper whispered, "Are you sure you wanna make that kind of commitment for the rest of summer? For Bill's sake?"

"Dipperrr, it's like working in a petting zoo!" She gestured toward the office window. "Look at how soft they are!"

"Oh, boy."

"And maybe I could get some luxury alpaca wool! I'm gonna have the fanciest sweaters."

Dipper grimaced, but decided Mabel would probably have looked for an excuse to spend time around the alpacas regardless of the situation. "Okay. Have at her." He nodded back toward the office.

When Mabel and Dipper came back in, Pacifica was sitting up straighter, hands laced on her desk, a miniature businesswoman entertaining a business proposal. "I appreciate the offer," Pacifica said. "But I don't think a few hours of labor a week balance out the profits I could make at my modeling job. It just doesn't make financial sense. I'm sorry, Mabel. I've got to think of my alpacas."

"I understand. But—I've got to think of my not-friend. If you could just see..." She trailed off as a thought occurred to her. "Dipper! Let me get in your backpack."

"Um, okay—?"

Mabel rummaged around in the main pouch. "I'm sure we left it... Ha!" She slapped down a ziplock bag containing the lock of Bill's hair that they'd collected to make his poppet. "This... is the person I'm trying to help." She crossed her arms triumphantly. "Okay, not the person, but it's his hair anyway."

Pacifica's brows shot up. "Oh, wow." She opened the bag and carefully extracted a few strands to examine. "This is the most golden golden hair I've ever seen. And look at it. Little oily, could use a good conditioner, damaged roots, but otherwise amazing health, no split ends..." Pacifica looked at Mabel, pointed at the baggie, and asked, "Virgin?"

Mabel laughed nervously. "I have no idea and I never ever want to find out."

"No! I mean is this the natural color and texture, or has it been treated?"

"Oh. I'm pretty sure it just came like that?" She looked at Dipper.

Dipper shrugged. "I mean, probably? I doubt he hit up a salon before coming to the Mystery Shack."

"And... you say he had a bad haircut?" Pacifica asked. "What does he look like now?"

Gently, Mabel said, "Bald."

Pacifica let out the softest gasp. "Okay. I get it. I'll help. And also send over a couple of conditioner samplers, because whoever your friend is, he has not been taking care of his hair lately. Natural beauty can only carry him so far. I'll have the conditioners overnighted to your shack."

"Great!" A wide smile broke out across Mabel's face. "Thank you so much, Pacifica! And the formula, too?"

"Actually, I can give you that right now." Pacifica pulled a small green Hairy Fairy bottle from one of her overall pockets.

Mabel gasped in delight. Dipper said, "Wait, you had that the whole time?"

"When we escaped the country club, I accidentally still had the bottle we'd used for the live demonstration in my pocket," Pacifica said. "I was going to replace it tomorrow morning before anyone goes looking for it; I'll just give you guys a few drops and make up the difference with a little alpaca shampoo. Hopefully, nobody will notice the difference."

Mabel said, "Pacifica, you're the best!"

"I know." Pacifica leaned across the desk to put a hand on Mabel's shoulder. "Just promise me one thing."

"Sure! What?"

"I won't be able to do this a second time," Pacifica said. "So you'd better make sure your friend takes care of his hair."

####

Bill squinted at the chocolate chip-sized dollop of lotion at the bottom of the quart-sized plastic food container. "Gotta hand it to you, Shooting Star. This is the funniest way you could have transported the formula."

"We forgot to bring anything to put it in." Mabel snapped on a pair of yellow dish gloves and pointed at the kitchen floor. "Okay! Sit down so I can reach and let me work my magic."

"What, don't think I can handle it myself?" But he sat down even as he protested. He'd already removed his cardboard triangle helmet—which now sat, battered and bent, on the kitchen table—and had washed off his paint/makeup as well as he could without requesting shower access.

Mabels scooped the dollop of lotion onto one gloved finger, then massaged it across her fingertips. "I'm your official makeup artist now! I've gotta do it. Besides, you missed a chunk of hair when you were removing it, you'd probably miss a chunk when you were putting it back on."

"Eh, fair enough. Okay kid, do your worst."

As Mabel coated Bill's scalp, the chemical burns he'd given himself while removing his hair vanished, replaced with new healthy skin—and Dipper quietly lamented, once again, that this stuff was being marketed to grow hair and not regrow limbs. He'd have to document it thoroughly in his journal later.

Dipper was sitting at the bottom of the attic stairs, watching the proceedings in the kitchen, armed with Mabel's grappling gun to use as a projectile weapon if Bill dared try anything. But Bill just sat there, legs crossed with his feet on his thighs and his hands palm-up on his knees like he was meditating, not even turning his head as Mabel worked.

Mabel jerked her hands back in surprise as a fresh layer of golden hair sprang out of Bill's scalp—then quickly reached in again, massaging the lotion into all the strands and coaxing them out until they were all around shoulder length, the same as they'd started. "There! Ta-da! Good as new!"

As the hair crawled down Bill's temples, tickled his ears, brushed his cheeks, he squeezed his eyes shut as tight as he could and clenched his jaw, straining hard to keep from moving. His open hands curled into fists. Dipper raised the grappling hook. But when Bill turned to face Mabel, he was all grins again, and if Dipper hadn't known to look for it he wouldn't have noticed the anxious tic in Bill's eyebrow. "Well? How do I look?"

"Gorgeous! If the real Goldilocks saw you, she'd have to change her name in shame."

"Ha! That's what I like to hear!" Bill un-pretzeled his legs and stood up. "And you did it without giving me any spare eyebrows, too." So he did know about the side-effects.

"Oh, pfff, yeah, I'm not lowering my guard around that stuff again. The first time I opened a bottle, I got some on me and grew an extra hand!"

"No! Really?" Bill gave Mabel's gloved hands a skeptical look. "Where's it now?"

"I donated it to the Hand Witch."

"Ahh, pity. You could've had some fun with your temporary crown."

"'Crown'?"

"Most fingers in the household?"

Mabel's eyes bugged out, and then a manic smile took over her face, as if her brain had just been flooded with more glee than her face could process. She yanked off the gloves, hastily rubbed them on her left wrist, and shouted, "GRUNKLE FOOORD!" She sprinted through the entryway and took the turn down the hallway so fast she ran a couple steps up on the wall before landing back on the floor. "Grunkle Ford, guess what!"

Dipper almost followed her—until he caught Bill moving in the corner of his eye, bending down to pick up the discarded gloves. Dipper raised the grappling hook. What was Bill planning to do with them—use the remainder to mutate himself? Save them to use later? Eat them—?

Bill dropped the gloves in the plastic container the lotion had come in, sealed the lid, and dropped them in the kitchen waste bin. Under his breath, he muttered, "The last thing I need is the pig sniffing this and growing an extra snout." He paused. "Wait. That would be funny."

From the other side of the house, Ford's voice bellowed, "BILL!"

Bill's head snapped around to face the kitchen doorway—and for the first time he glanced at Dipper sitting on the stairs. "Hey. What do you bet he didn't even let Mabel explain before deciding this is my fault?"

"Uh..."

Mabel and Ford's approach could be tracked through Mabel's hasty explanation: "Grunkle Ford, it's just a prank! I'm okay, see? I'm gonna donate Mirhanda to the Hand Witch, it'll be fine—"

The moment Ford saw Bill, he made a beeline for him and seized him by his t-shirt collar. "What did you do to her?! Answer me, Cipher!"

"I didn't! I'm innocent! I plea the fifth! I've been falsely accused! I was framed! Mercy!" The sincerity of his pleas was somewhat undermined by the fact that he couldn't stop laughing the whole time Ford was trying to menace him. His too-wide gleeful smile looked a lot like Mabel's.

####

"Okay, Pacifica," the director said. "This commercial is for the teen market, so we want you to talk to the camera like you're talking to your peers, all right? And by that, I don't mean your real peers. I mean the slightly less rich girls who would do anything you asked to be considered one of your peers."

"Don't worry, I've got this," Pacifica said. She positioned herself on her stool, hands laced over her knees, and said, "Ready when you are."

"And... action!"

Pacifica gave the camera her best haughty-but-not-too-haughty look, the one that said maybe if you say something interesting to me I'll double your social standing for fun, and launched into her memorized lines: "Hey, I'm Pacifica Northwest—you all know me, most of you probably want to be me. Listen, girls: have you ever tried to go short and it just didn't work out? Maybe that pixie cut makes your ears look weird, maybe those bangs are not for you. If you wish you looked as great as me, I have just the thing for you..."

Everything continued as normal, until Harry's Hairy Fairy Formula was applied to her hair... and nothing happened. Pacifica stumbled over a word, and then kept going, as if maybe no one would notice if she didn't draw attention to it. As she was wrapping up her monologue, her hair finally... slowly started growing... and stopped at half its usual length. Pacifica bit her lip.

"Pacifica!"

She winced and turned toward her boss, feigning a look of innocent surprise. "Yes, Mr. Haroldson?"

"What did you put in your hair! You know you're not supposed to have any product in your hair on shoot days!"

"Nothinggg! I've been following my hair care instructions perfectly! And I had it rinsed just before the shoot like always!"

"Well—what's the problem, then?" Mr. Haroldson turned to the hazmat-suited hairdresser holding the formula bottle.

"I don't know." He took off his mask. "This is the same sample bottle we used at the country club demonstration, it should be fine..." He took a sniff of it, and grimaced. "What...? That's not our usual fragrance, is it?" Mr. Haroldson leaned over to sniff as well.

She'd been found out. She was doomed. Her poker face collapsed like a house of cards. "Okay fine I took a few drops for a friend and maybe replaced it with a little bit of shampoo, so what!" She pointed at Mr. Haroldson. "What are you gonna do about it, huh? Fire me? Go ahead, see if I care! I can get a million better modeling jobs in a week!"

Mr. Haroldson's expression darkened in rage—and then he said, "Pacifica, you're a genius!"

"Huh?"

"Watering it down! Of course! We can sell unaltered bottles to hook new customers and then stretch out our supply by giving repeat customers the weak stuff—we'll tell them that it's less effective if they're overusing it! We can keep up that scam for years, it's not like the FDA is regulating this stuff! Why, we could even make a whole new product!" He turned to wave at an assistant, "Call R&D, get R&D on the phone—we'll make a formula designed to grow short hair. We can call it... Pixie Dust Pixie Cuts! It's all thanks to you, Pacifica!" He beamed at her.

She beamed back.

He said, "You're not getting credit or a raise though."

"Pshhh, obviously. I know how this industry works."

"All right, back to work." He pointed at the director. "Crack open a new bottle and let's wrap this up ASAP. I've got to schedule some meetings about the new product line."

####

"Well, he didn't grow himself eight arms," Dipper said, sitting cross-legged on his bed. He was going over a map of Gravity Falls he'd taken from the gift shop, circling locations of potential paranormal activity he wanted to investigate over the summer. Bill-tainted places got an additional triangle. "And I took out the kitchen trash to make sure Bill couldn't go back for the formula later. I guess he wasn't up to anything after all." He paused. "... Unless he wanted the formula in our trash, and now it's multiplying the garbage or getting picked up by some sleeper agent outside the shack—"

"Stooop," Mabel said. She was carefully coloring in a green bottle of Harry's Hairy Fairy Formula in Dipper's journal; Dipper had started entrusting his journal's art duties to Mabel whenever they went on a joint investigation. "We can't start thinking like that! Remember, our therapist told us that paranoia is a natural coping mechanism for dealing with scary situations, but trusting people is healthy and a sign of healing!" She set down the journal so she could emphasize the word "healing" with jazz hands.

"I think that's supposed to apply to trusting normal people."

"Yeah, but still." The journal flipped a few pages as she picked it back up, and her eyes were caught by scribbles in bright highlighter yellow. "Hey, what's this new stuff? Did you make up a secret code to keep notes in? Can I learn?"

"Ugh. No, Bill did that. I left my journal out and he wrote a bunch of secret messages. It's probably telling me how I'm going to die or the names of all the girls who will reject me or something."

"Pff, probably. Have you shown Grunkle Ford? Maybe he knows it."

"Not yet. He's been too busy."

"Right..." And now, she was sure, he was probably mad at her personally for worrying him with the hand prank.

Mabel flipped through a few more pages, looking at the bright yellow notes. She glanced toward the window, scanning the trees outside. She sighed and got up, leaving Dipper's journal on her bed.

"What's up?"

"Now you've got me worrying about sleeper agents. I'm gonna make sure the gloves are still in the trash."

When she'd confirmed all the garbage was right where it was supposed to be and came back in the shack, she spotted Bill in the living room. He was scrunched up on one side of the sofa as close to the doorway as he could get, watching TV. He glanced over as she shut the front door and flashed a grin. "Hey, Shooting Star. What're you up to?"

Ah, great. They were on casual chit-chat terms now. She edged toward the doorway but stayed outside the living room—sorry, not staying long—and said, "Oh, you know, just—looking at... the outdoors." Before he could dig further, she changed the topic. "So! How's that hair working out for you?"

"Ah." His smile wilted and his glance drifted back toward the TV. (He seemed to be watching the local news. Mabel decided he must've been really bored.) "Well, hair's still the worst thing that's ever grown on me and I still see a human in the mirror—but at least it's a human with a vaguely triangular silhouette. I can live with being back where I started."

"Sorry we couldn't come up with a real solution." As glad as she was to finish her obligation to Bill, she hated that all her efforts hadn't even really helped. Some problem-solver she was.

"Yeah, well. You can't build a pyramid out of meat. You did the best you could." Bill turned to fully face Mabel. "But, hey—listen." He had one eye squeezed shut but the other one stared her down with the intensity of a spotlight, paralyzing her in place. "Even if it's not perfect, I appreciate the effort you put in."

"Hey, it's no big deal. Crafts are my whole thing! It was kinda fun."

"No, I'm serious," Bill said. "I know I'm the town bogeyman, and everyone's only putting up with me until they find the easiest way to obliterate me. But you did a lot more than just 'put up with me.' And, well—don't tell the others I said this," he rolled his eye toward the hall to the rest of the house, and lowered his voice, "but... it's been a long time since anybody's treated me with a little kindness. Longer than you can imagine. I think I'd forgotten what it feels like. Even if I don't have much time left to enjoy it—I'm grateful for the reminder, kid."

Mabel's eyes widened. "Bill, that..." A lump formed in her throat. How long had it been? As big a jerk as he was—centuries? Millennia?

She darted into the living room, squeezed Bill in a hug before he could protest, and then bolted up the stairs two at a time.

And Bill thought to himself, got her.

Humans were so easy. Once you figured out what they wanted to believe in, you could make them do anything you wanted.

Mabel wanted to believe that everyone everywhere yearned to be friends with everyone else, and that the only thing holding them back was the defensive walls they built around their emotions. Mabel wanted to see people's walls come down. Mabel wanted every social problem to be simple enough that even a child could solve it if they were earnest and honest enough.

Mabel shouldn't have let Bill watch Color Critters. It told him too much about the kind of world she idealized. He had that kid completely figured out—

There was a loud pounding as Mabel leaped back down the stairs three at a time. "On your feet!" She grabbed Bill's hands and tugged him off the sofa, then wrapped a measuring tape around his hips.

He twisted around in bewilderment as she circled him, now measuring his chest. "What—?"

"Face forward! Arms out from your sides!" She measured his shoulder span, then grabbed one arm to measure the length. "I'll be back later. I've got work to do. Do not come upstairs!"

Bill leaned out the doorway to watch her bunny-hop back up to the attic.

Okay, he had that kid mostly figured out.

Well, the odd quirks just made her a little more interesting than the average human. The important thing was that, whether she knew it or not, she wanted Bill to be her friend. She wanted to be the horse girl who tamed the hostile bronco, the beauty who saved the beast. She wanted monsters to swear their loyalty to cute spunky protagonists, and she thought she was a protagonist.

The "reformed bad boy" was outside of the usual characters he played—he was better as the ancient teacher, the playful trickster, the divine messenger—but it was an easy enough role, and it gave him plenty of room to misbehave while staying in character. It's so hard to change my old ways—but maybe it would be easier if you give me another chance, if you help me, if you do this one little thing for me...

There was a fun little quirk of human psychology that was so well-known they'd even given their own name to it: the Foot-In-The-Door Technique. Once you get a human to do you one small, tiny little favor, they'll be more likely to do you another, bigger favor later. Borrow a dollar today and they'll be more likely to let you borrow a hundred dollars next week. Ask them to drive you to the auto shop and you'll have a better chance of asking them to help you move. Get them to bring you a little hair solution, and... well, Bill would just have to wait and see what he wanted next.

As long as everything Bill asked for was harmless, there was nothing the warier members of the household could do to intervene without making themselves look like the unreasonable ones. And by the time Bill started asking for anything dangerous, he'd have Mabel eating out of the palm of his hand, and she'd have no idea until it was too late that she didn't mean a thing to him—

####

Bill stared dumbly in the mirror at the yellow yarn hoodie. "H—Did you just make this?" With his arms at his sides, from the shoulders down, it looked like a decapitated triangle. 

"I used velvet yarn for your brick pattern," Mabel said. "It makes the lines stand out more! And I cut one of Dipper's bow ties in half to make the hood's drawstring so you can tie it into a bow!"

Wordlessly, Bill tied the bow—it hung in the center of his chest—and then he pulled the hood on, tugging it low over his forehead, completing the triangle. Mabel had put an eye on the hood. She'd even remembered Bill's eyelashes.

"I thought, hey—if the mask was too much, and the hair is too little, maybe a hoodie's just right," Mabel said. "I don't usually make sweaters for people—sweater curse, blarrr, you know—but, this one time, I thought it was important." She gave Bill a nervous smile. "So... what do you think? Do you like it?"

Bill stared at his reflection. It was hideous, misshapen, and alien, but it was almost himself.

He looked at Mabel. He got down on his knees. He put a hand on her shoulder. He said, "I will kill one enemy of yours, for free, no questions asked, in any way you want."

Mabel blinked. "Please don't do that."

"When I take over the universe I'm giving you your own galaxy."

"I don't—I don't want a galaxy. What would I do with a whole galaxy?"

"A solar system. A planet? Everyone wants their own planet!"

Mabel shook her head.

"Then what do you want?" What the heck do human children like. "Can I show you a magic trick?"

Mabel considered that.

####

"Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Ford!" Mabel ran into the kitchen, pushing Waddles in front of her, breathless with excitement. "Look what I can do!" She held a clear plastic spoon at arm's length, peered through it at Waddles like it was a magnifying glass, and slowly lifted the spoon up. Waddles floated up into the air as well. He snorted in mild bafflement.

Stan's jaw dropped. Ford said, "Ohhh, boy."

Mabel beamed at them both.

####

(This chapter isn't quite as edited as I usually do, because I've been sick this past week but wanted to get it out anyway. Apologies for that and I'd appreciate if you noticed any typos or disjointed sentences! And I'd doubly appreciate any nice comments, I've been having a hell of a week.)

[ahollowgrave]

Thinking about Odette's ancient form again... I don't think it was Azem but admittedly I don't have much. I know her name is/was Leuce/Leuke and she works under Hades/Emet.

I don't ship Hades/Odette-in-any-form because I just... can't. I like him as a character and I find him interesting in a 'pin him under glass' kind of way. (Odette is a lesbian, also, but I don't think all shards need to have the same sexuality because why would they. But that said I def don't ship Leuke/Hades as it just doesn't satisfy me the way I like ships to) In Greco-Roman mythology, Leuke was a nymph (an Oceanid) that Hades fell in love with and spirited away to the underworld. This feels familiar. When she eventually passes, after her full life, Hades turns her body into a white popular tree in the Elysian Fields. As such, white poplars became a symbol of those we loved who have died as well as hope for a peaceful afterlife. (This is why I mentioned shipping.) I think, rather than Emet-Selch being in love with Leuke he see's her as someone he can groom to be his eventual replacement. Death's apprentice. (Less love, still spiriting away to the Underworld) In current time, Odette's eyes "started out" as an icy blue and as she grew into her abilities as a psychopmp one of them shifted to lavender. Her vision also altered -- I say she can see ghosts and other hidden things and I am beginning to think it's not so different from Hades' soul sight. Albeit a much weaker and less useful version, given the sundered state of it all? I do think Leuce had soul sight, as well, likely part of the reason Hades picks her to work so closely with him. Mayhap it was weak and she spent most of her time trying to find ways to enhance it. As well as any work delegated to her by Emet-Selch, of course. Personality wise I'm still rock tumbling her. I do think she and Emet have a very Uncle/Niece relationship, but also does that make sense for ancients?????? I'm gonna have to do more thinking and reading to really build this. I know I don't want her to be Odette But To The Left.

Much to think about.

[dapplemoth]

Bramblestar x Jessy hypos?

I never actually finished reading bramblestar's storm so I had to skim Jessy's page a bit.

They have only one kit, a tiger clone named Sharpshade

ft. half siblings Sparkkit and Alderkit :) (originally I intended him to be a young apprentice here but then I realized the timelines don't mesh up so he's a manlet lmao)

More info under the cut

Squirrelflight and Bramblestar do not have a romantic (at the time anyway) relationship in Bramblestar's Storm, it is strictly professional. Because of this, Jessy decides to join the clan and becomes Bramblestar's mate for a while. However the two come to realize that they don't work well together and decide to split up by the time Sharpkit is weaned. They're both able to come up with a custody agreement where Sharpkit will primarily be raised by the clan but Jessy can visit her kit as much as she pleases. Not everyone is happy with just letting an ex classmate barge into camp whenever she wants but eventually they all shut up and get used to it.

Sharpkit has a... relatively happy childhood all things considered, he gets to grow up having three parents (bramble, squilf, and Jessy) and is overall a pretty mellow little guy. Although he's far, far closer to Jessy and his step mom than he is to Bramblestar. He can't help but feel Bramble may...resent him a bit with how much of a black sheep he is when compared to the rest of the Bramblesquirrel family, this fear grows even worse when Squirrelflight reveals she's expecting kits and suddenly Bramblestar barely talks to him anymore. Unfortunately, he is not immune to the warriors trope of 'not telling anyone anything' and decides to distract himself by helping out in the medicine den.

When Squilf's kits are born he does everything he can to make sure she and the kits have the best of care. He almost acts as a second nursery queen, often covering for Squirrelflight whenever she needs to get out and stretch her legs. Bramblestar even starts talking to him more frequently, and he learns new, exciting things about fathers past during their chats together..although some tension still remains.

He is a very good brother to both Alder and Spark throughout their entire lives and always makes an attempt to stay in touch no matter how busy he gets. I don't think he'd ever have a pov role but hes a nice supportive presence within the clan.

In Squirrelflights Hope/ The Broken Code he'd have a more prominent role. In those books he'd be less 'mellow lil dude' to 'I'm breaking every bone in your body if you say something to me or my family one more time'. He calls out Bramble for his treatment of Squilf and starts purposely putting himself between them if he senses things are going south. Sharps relationship with Bramble is already deeply shaken but by the time the imposter situation comes about the damage is irreversible. Like, he realizes Bramblestar was not in control of his actions and technically not at fault but he can't look at him the same way anymore. Sure, he still cares for Bramblestar and loves him, but he can't ever forgive him..not after everything thats happened.

He almost considers leaving Thunderclan for good and living with his mother, Jessy, but ultimately decides he wants to be there for Squilf and the rest of his clan born family.

[dumpster-fire-deluxe]

Why Palpatine is autistic (headcanon)

Listen if I was diagnosed as autistic in 15 minutes without diagnostic assessment and by answering "eh, kind of" to 2/10 questions, then this man should be diagnosed ten times over

You can only disagree with me once you've read the whole thing <3

Part 1: DSM-5 official diagnostic criteria

Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation; to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions.

This criterium can include a lack of affective/emotional empathy. Also, when is Palpatine interested in the emotions of others beyond how it serves him?

Yes, he does seem socially adept. But this is something you can learn, literally. He's had a lot of training in how politicians act, how to convince people, etc. It's all an act. It's just a more severe form of masking.

And let's not forget: how much easier is social interaction when you can sense the other person's thoughts and feelings through the Force? No need to read their body language at all. You can feel what's going on and what they want to hear

Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.

Masking!! There are many moments with Palpatine where I'm like "ah, that there is very much a conscious expression, deliberately pulling those precise facial muscles, rather than something naturally happening". Same with a lot of moments of intonation.

Also, how often do you see him talk with his hands? When talking, his arms are usually rigidly at his side (or in T-Rex position).

Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.

This is specifically about equal peer relationships. Yes, Palpatine knows how to do official/business relations. You can learn that in political school or by copying others. There are rules & tactics & etiquette/protocols. But close, personal relationships?

You often see autistics in relationships with power differences, like master-apprentice/dom-sub relationships (in either role). That's a lot easier to navigate than equal peer relationships, which are a lot muddier.

Also, "absence of interest in peers". When have we seen him yearning for close personal relationships?

Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypes, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).

Palpatine does have some frequent finger tapping going on and he "worm walks" (swaying with either legs or upper body, unless focusing on walking straight and/or looking at the ground, like in the third image).

Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat same food every day).

I don't think he has this one.

Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).

This is the big one. What neurotypical person would be able to spend every waking moment working on one singular interest (Sith Grand Plan/Dark Side), forsaking social relationships and such? Even passionate allistics wouldn't be so entirely consumed by one thing for years on end.

Palpatine also collects objects related to that interest (the Sith artifacts/artworks).

Once he's emperor he doesn't show himself much anymore but instead spends all day alone studying his special interest.

Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g. apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).

First of all, the depression robes from the original trilogy. That's all.

Second, I think in the Star Wars universe "sensory aspects of the environment" could apply to the Force too, in line with hyper-empathy & hypersensitivity. And guess who was born super sensitive to the Force?

Third, no neurotypical person has that kind of interior design. I'm talking about all the red. My guess is chronic under-stimulation, thus needing to be surrounded by a bright color.

Part 2: Miscellaneous/Non-diagnostic autistic traits

Gender non-conformity (always wears dresses and gives off such princess energy)

He often has T-Rex arms and when he doesn't, his arms are stiff by his side (stiff posture in general). When relaxed, the T-Rex comes out.

His father thought he was different from birth, something about Palpatine didn't appear "normal" to him

Autism & pattern recognition + seeing the inner mechanics of systems. This includes social/societal structures. Add in years of analyzing humans and their behavior/psychology. It makes it possible to see relations, predict actions, etc., either on an individual scale or a larger one.

In the same vein, good at analyzing (situations & people)

His father was said to be cruel and violent (in this house the Darth Plagueis novel is still canon, fight me). Autism + childhood trauma can turn quite intense, to put it mildly. In this case: no empathy + no attachment to other humans + learning to read people and situations very well to stay safe + tendency to rigid thinking/intense preoccupation + seeing everyone as an enemy + special interest that involves hurting others, combined with running into a Sith Lord during his formative years? Yeah, all the pieces are there.

Anyway, this headcanon is locked into my brain now and I simply can't unsee it anymore.

[mrcowboysmovieroom]

Dragonslayer (1981)

Directed by: Matthew Robbins Genre: Fantasy, adventure

CW: None Originally written 03/29/2023

It surprises me that I had never heard of this movie till now. I happened upon its DVD in the five dollar movie bin and was very taken by it. I am not totally sure why as the cover art on my copy was not particularly attractive to me (version on the right). I think the version on the left is much cooler personally. But I suppose when you hear a name like "Dragonslayer" you think "Oh this ought to be good" even if it won't be. As it turns out however, it was good. Very good.

The story itself feels expected, though not without elements which serve to make it unique. I think, for the most part, you can very easily predict every step of this movie, but I don’t think this is inherently bad because you can be exceptionally good even if you’re predictable. That isn’t to say that the movie is lazy. It’s just that this is a fantasy movie from the 80s, and during the 70s-80s we were inundated with movies about knights, swords, wizards, and dragons. Our story starts with a group of travelers seeking out the wizard Ulrich (Ralph Richardson) to request that he face their dragon and put it down! You see, for years now virgin daughters have been sacrificed to the dragon. These girls are chosen by a lottery of sorts, their names drawn from a great big bowl at random. The idea is that there is solidarity and shared risk in this sacrifice, however the rich buy their way out of it and so do not have to lose their daughters like the poor do. Really the villagers seem more upset with this unfairness, with this abuse of power, than with the setup itself.

Ulrich agrees to help but is challenged to prove his magic by one of the king’s men who had followed the troupe of villagers. Ulrich accepts the challenge and asks that the guard stab him. Well rather hilariously, Ulrich dies, leaving behind his apprentice Galen (Peter MacNicol) and servant Hodge (Sydney Bromley). Galen, driven by a newfound sense of confidence and arrogance decides that he must carry out his mentor’s wishes and slay the dragon himself! He believes this is his path because his master’s amulet keeps mysteriously escaping the box it's put in and glowing.

Ulric’s body is burned and Hodge collects the ashes as he was instructed to by Ulric previously. He will die later too and give them to Galen, telling him to cast them into the burning lake, so you know they will come back.

In any case, Galen has his quest and about 40 minutes into the film, makes good on his word and slays the dragon! At this point he has made a friend of sorts out of one of the villagers, Valerian (Caitlin Clarke). She has been living as a man since she was born but the movie does not keep this information from us for long. About two scenes into meeting her character I figured that we would find out she was disguised as a man and eventually we see her heading to a river to bathe. The inevitable happens- Galen finds out she’s a woman- and well we know what will come of their relationship by the end of the movie.

Our first look at the dragon is almost entirely through perspective shots from its view. A maiden has been brought before its lair as the latest sacrifice and she is trying fruitlessly to free herself, getting her own blood over her dress as the chains tear into her skin. It’s a very cruel scene.

The earth rumbles and eventually, elegantly peeking over the rocks, comes a clawed hand. From here the shot changes to overhead of the beast. It is blurry so that our focus is on the girl, but we can see the muscles in the back of its neck flex and expand. It’s possibly my favorite shot of the animal. During the rest of the scene we only see its leg and tail. We shall not see its face till our climax.

The whole movie builds to this big reveal of the dragon brilliantly. The dragon stays formidable and chilling the entire time. We only get exposed to it piece at a time and we see much of its carnage from its perspective. It makes the deaths of its victims at once intimate, but also more cruel as we are put into the shoes of a creature we cannot even hope to begin to understand.

The practical effects and props are very good looking, save for when the greenscreen comes out. You will see a lot of people and things wreathed in green, especially near the end. It’s not so bad though if I’m being honest. It’s never so bothersome as to keep me from enjoying the action.

When I saw the dragon, I found myself wanting to compare it to Dragonheart’s (1996) Draco the dragon. The movies are actually aesthetically very similar, which is probably why I stared at Dragonslayer’s DVD cover for so long, transfixed in the Walmart. DH came out over a decade after DS and while being very much a campy fantasy film of the same ilk, is also a parody of said movies. The two dragons are so different from one another. Seeing them side by side is actually a really interesting look at character creation and how the shape of features evokes certain feelings in an audience.

Draco of DH (on the right) is more cat-like and round. His face is short, and his eyes are big. There is an adorable quality about this, at least comparatively. He also gets to talk, being voiced by Sean Connery, which really humanizes him for us. We get to see into his thoughts and he’s also one of our heroes. We are meant to like him and root for him.

Vermithrax Pejorative, our fiendish lizard in DS is in stark contrast. For one, her name is much cooler. She is also never humanized in any capacity. We see that she has hatchlings, and that she even seems to mourn their death, but this display isn’t shown to make us feel bad for her. We see her cruelty through her eyes. It seems that her actions, even prior to the death of her young, are beyond the call of duty if she were merely trying to raise her young. Design wise, she is much more wolfish and lean. Her face is long, her eyes small and beady. Her body often has this sweaty, grimy texture to it as well. She is sinister and threatening.

The differences this film has with Dragonheart are not really the point here- but I will say if either one of these films interests you- you will most assuredly enjoy the other.

Anyway, back to Galen. As I said, he goes about destroying the dragon early on. Or so he thinks. Really we all know that his arrogance simply leads him to believe he has and that he has in fact made the situation much worse.

The night of the dragon’s apparent slaying is one of merriment and features Valerian presenting as a woman for the first time. Galen invites her to dance and makes her feel welcome. It’s very sweet.

The festivities are interrupted by that pesky king’s guard from before. He takes Galen to the palace where the King interrogates him, takes his magic amulet, and casts him in the dungeon. During the night he is broken out and the dragon attacks the town. While in captivity he meets Princess Elspeth. He tells her that the king has been keeping her name out of the lottery all along, which she seems to have been ignorant of and, to her credit, is horrified by. As a result of the dragon being even angrier than before and attacking their town, another lottery is called. Elspeth, now aware of what has been going on for her sake, decides to make all of the lottery names her own. The king tries to stop this, but it is too late. Her name has been read to the villagers and it is expected that she will be the next sacrifice. The king, desperate to see this thwarted, then returns Galen’s amulet to him and insists he keep the princess from dying.

Galen, is back on the case and with the help of Valerian and her blacksmith father, prepares a special spear and shield of dragon scales to take into battle. Valerian and Galen talk one last time before he's on his way and they share a small kiss. And thusly, we arrive at my favorite scene. An epic battle between Galen and our dragon, which we finally get to see in full. You have no idea how exciting this scene is. It’s great! The dragon looms from out of the pool in its cave which is laden with fire, slowly and melodically. It's imposing and physical. I just love watching it move, especially as the enter different chambers of the cave. I just can't get enough of this part of the film. Watching it fills me with thrills!

Galen ends up unable to kill the dragon- his spear breaking through his efforts. He is injured but survives. Valerian, desperate to keep it that way, convinces him that there is no life for them in the village, and that they should make the best of what they have and leave. So, Galen and her prepare to go, when Galen has a vision. His second in the movie so this is not new. The vision is of a burning lake. Now… I could have sworn someone mentioned one of those in the beginning of the film....

Suddenly Galen gets it! AND... I'm gonna cut it off there... The climax of the movie is really rewarding and also unexpected. There is something very fun about the bit of subversion we get via Galen and his character arc. The dragon does die at the end, as expected. The corpse looks epic though, I must say. There's so much wet and charred flesh bits and parts of organs peeling off exposed bone. I really love seeing practical props and effects like this. I mean, they get my heart a-going pitter-patter with glee, and this movie does exactly that to me. In the end, Valerian and Galen leave together, wandering out to find their own happiness together. I just, adore this movie. In rewriting this review I am renewed with a desire to watch it again and relive the wonderful little adventure that it takes me on. My final rating is a 7/10.

[chryzure-archive]

hmm… for any of the 3 ships or all of them if u wanna!!! have u ever thought abt what a sort of “bad end” or worst case scenario would b for them? how would they deal with losing each other, not necessarily by death. is there any point where they go through a tense period of time in their relationship?

I’m jst going to answer for ChrysiJacks and ChrysiGil because I’m sleepy, BUT THESE R SUCH GOOD QUESTIONS!!!

ChrysiJacks

“Bad end” for Chrysi and Jacks is definitely Jacks getting stuck back in his card again. Chrysi takes his place in the card so he can get out, but there was a bit of a… I guess curse? More like the card’s magic was running thin, so it could only take one switch—so now Jacks has his one true love stuck in a card because he was stupid and it trapped in the first place. He takes it upon himself to find some way to get her back, but… it’s not going so well, and he hurts so badly. He misses his princess :((((

OH, JACKS DOES NOT TAKE LOSING CHRYSI WELL. He reverts a bit back to being impulsively cruel, but it’s all tinged with his grief over Chrysi. He almost kills all those bystanders in my Last Apprentice AU, simply because he can no longer sense Chrysi’s heartbeat next to his. Chrysi, on the other hand, becomes reckless. She’s on a new self-destruction route :’) I actually have an AU similar to the one with Gil, where Jacks pretends he forgot Chrysi to protect her, and then he has to watch her drive herself into the ground. It breaks his heart—but what’s worse is that Azure’s there to try and help Chrysi. Jacks hates that he’s not the one that’s there for her. 

The beginning of their relationship is… very tense. Jacks is still caught up on Tella, Chrysi’s still caught up on Azure, and both of them keep on hurting each other over it. Add to the fact that Jacks hasn’t admitted to himself that he has feelings for Chrysi and he proceeds to use her in his schemes, and you can imagine how the beginning of their relationship is… very, very messy. I love it. It’s so fun to write. 

ChrysiGil

I’ve been hurting myself by thinking of my bad end for Chrysi and Gil lately, actually 😭😭😭 Where they wait for Oz and Alice to come back for the 100 years, and once they’re all reunited, Gil’s body begins to break down. He holds onto life longer than Vincent did, but he’d hiding the fact that he’s dying from Chrysi. When she finds out, she’s heartbroken—because this is the second time her lover knew he was dying and didn’t tell her. One morning she wakes up to find Gil gone, because he… died. Disintegrated. Oz and Alice wake up to Chrysi screaming. 

OBVIOUSLY NOT ACTUALLY IN MY CANON, BECAUSE IT KILLS ME, BUT IT’S KINDA FUN TO THINK ABOUT…. :(((

If Gil were to lose Chrysi, he’d be so lost… Like, he’s viewed her as a constant ever since Oz disappeared, so to have her suddenly not be there in any capacity leaves him feeling listless. He ends up mothering Oz a lot more and he shoves his feelings down in a very unhealthy way (still thinking about how he reacted to Elliot dying by not letting himself cry over it… Gil, honey….). By the time his feelings fully sink in, he’s a shell of a person. 

If Chrysi were to lose Gil… there’s a level of maturity to her losing Gil, I think, since she and Gil were more of parents for Oz and Alice, so she can’t let herself become reckless, self-destructive, impulsive—like she would if she were to lose Azure or Jacks. She has to put her feelings on hold in order to ensure everything is alright with Oz and Alice. Unfortunately, Oz and Alice care about Chrysi too, so they do the same with her. The three end up crying together a lot :((

YEPPP, it’s very tense for the beginning bit (again), mostly because Gil keeps running out on Chrysi in order to protect Oz, and he’s not clear with the fact that he also cares about Chrysi. Whenever he attempts to protect Chrysi/nurse her back to health, she keeps pushing him away as a result, which just… makes everything frustrating. Oz is like “ENOUGH. MAKE UP AND KISS RIGHT NOW.”

[clanoffetts]

chandrilan tea solves everything (right? right?!)

qui-gon jinn x gn!reader

based on the struggles we see Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon have in Master and Apprentice by Claudia Gray (no spoilers tho)

“Are you alright?” was the first thing out of your mouth when Qui-Gon walked into your apartment. It didn’t take a Jedi to sense something was off. 

“No, not really,” he replied, though his tone was calm. It was the most infuriating thing about Qui-Gon, and all Jedi to be perfectly honest, they could get mad and their voice would still hold stable, calm.

Qui-Gon shed his voluminous cloak on the hook by your door, the remaining robes billowing about him as he beelines for your sofa (which is more comfortable than anything in the Temple, apparently). 

You bring the two mugs of Chandrilan tea with you to the couch, you’d begun preparing it when Qui-Gon commed you saying that they’d just finished their meeting with the council. “Where’s Obi-Wan?” you start, knowing this will lead to the cause of his mood. It always does.

“Meditating over the mission,” Qui-Gon sighs. “Thank you,” he murmured, taking the steaming mug from your hand. “There is a reason the Force called me to him, I know that. But… It can be so frustrating. Not just him, myself, too.”

Your brows drew together, trying to figure out what to say. “I’m sure he feels the same way…” 

Qui-Gon nods. “He does. And it makes me feel like a bad master. The boy is talented, he’ll make a good Jedi, but he’s just… stiff. He’s very stiff. Or maybe I am too...loose.” 

You just nod, giving him an encouraging hum. You’re in no place to speak on what a Jedi apprenticeship should be, you only know what Qui-Gon has told you about the padawan process, and even then, his was unique. It’s not exactly common for your master to leave the Order after training you. 

“I have spoken to Master Yoda,” he continues, “and he tells me to meditate. That’s all I fucking do.”

“Have you talked to Obi-Wan?” you try. Qui-Gon just looks at you. “You talk a lot for a Jedi and you haven’t thought of just sitting the boy down and talking to him?” 

“Well, I have,” he said. “But it’s deeper than that. We’re too different.” 

Qui-Gon sits the half-drunk mug of tea on the coffee table, neglecting the coaster as he so often does, settling back into your arms. The fabric of his Jedi robes is rough against your skin, but you know he has nothing else to change into. “Well, the Force made him your Padawan, right? Isn’t the Force never wrong?”

“Our interpretation of it can be, quite often, really,” he replied. “But I see what you mean. You and Master Yoda both.”

“Maybe Master Yoda should give me a job then,” you joke, but Qui-Gon doesn’t laugh. “It’s worse this time?” you realize. 

“Sometimes I think Obi-Wan should have another master. One that can teach him properly. The way he deserves,” Qui-Gon murmurs, holding one of your hands tightly between his own. “A more disciplined Jedi, since that’s what Obi-Wan is determined to be.” 

You know what he means, that he’s referring to your relationship, his biggest slip in discipline though it’s among many. You know he loves you, but the guilt that came with him being a Jedi is immense, and you have to accept it. Doesn’t mean it’s nice. 

Qui-Gon must pick up on that, because he shifts in your arms to look at you. “Darling,” he starts. “I just… I want Obi-Wan to be the best Jedi he can be. He’ll be an asset to the Order if trained properly, but I cannot get through to him. I meditate and meditate and meditate and nothing changes,” the man reclining between your legs is almost in tears. 

“It will work out,” you say softly, not even sure if that’s the right thing to say. “You are a great Jedi, Qui-Gon. And Obi-Wan is fifteen, teenagers are hard to work with. I know Jedi are different, but they can’t be that different.”

“I was never this difficult for Master Dooku,” he replied, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.

“We never think we were difficult,” you laugh, retracting your hand to comb your fingers through the man’s long hair. “Just talk to him, Qui-Gon. If meditating isn’t working for you then I doubt it’s working for him.” 

Qui-Gon just hums. He’s a stubborn man, for a Jedi, and you know he came over to be comforted, not lectured. He gets enough of that at the Temple, it seems. “When do you have to go back?” you murmur. 

“A few hours,” he replied. “I want Obi-Wan to have time with his friends. He needs it.” You can’t help but smile. For all the troubles Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan have had since Qui-Gon took him as a padawan, Qui-Gon cares so deeply for the boy. “Like I need to have time with you,” he says. 

“You sap,” you laugh, fingers still massaging at his scalp. You feel him relaxing, his body getting heavier on top of you as the both of you shift your attention to the holodrama projected on your wall. 

“It’s true,” he whispers, barely audible. “It’s scary. How much I need you.”

“I know the feeling.”

[ganymedesclock]

I would love to hear about Taylor for the powers pspsps thing!

Taylor's powers are arguably very central to the conceit they're in, since I was thinking (as is my vast entertainment) about the rpg format established by things like dragon quest and final fantasy, and how it regards both its heroes, and its final bosses. In particular, a big part of Taylor is they're actually designed to be an inversion of a silent protagonist- I wanted them to be a strongly self-motivated character.

I also made them a healer, which, as I said a bit in my last post, I think healer characters get a bit of a rough shake in that they're often seen as just Nice, Unthreatening, Goodie Goods, which admittedly does make some sense because when you remove abstractions from magical healing you get some questions about like... basically arcane flesh-sculpting, and if you meet someone who can cast spell of bend your organs, you really hope they're on the level.

Taylor's powers are very strongly associated heavily with red thread. Their name is, admittedly, a pun- they are literally a tailor's apprentice as the story starts- and much of their motivation through the story is feeling compelled to try and fix, or tend, to 'abandoned, wounded things'. All of their party members- and themselves- have significant problems, wounds and trauma. I used red because it's a traditionally villainous color, often contrasted against a heroic blue (while I have not drawn them yet, the antagonistic royal couple is heavily blues and whites)

Part of this is deliberately invoking the superstition of the 'thread of fate', and the idea of a destiny bond with my own personal spin, that I don't think we're actually fated to anyone as much as we weave our own threads towards others. This kind of tied into that Taylor, as a person from a small community on an island with a very bleak climate, has a strong personal work ethic and relationship with handcrafts, that they tie directly to taking care of others. If they make a shirt or a baby blanket for someone, odds are very good they know exactly who's going to wear it, and might personally involve things they think suits that person, or that they like.

Much of Taylor's conflicts in the story are about being ripped away from other people, and trying to mend that inciting tear. Their sense of identity, community, and their life ambitions were all cut away. Many times, stories court the idea of the destroyed town, but they make it so that the hero was a foundling with a greater destiny somewhere else, or otherwise leaves it behind and mostly forgets about it, comes to connect with other places instead- as a kind of fantastical, "imagine if you could just leave your boring life that you kind of take for granted and go somewhere else, and yeah you'd be sad if that life burned, but think about how much else you could do-!"

Taylor as a protagonist is a person all about attachment and connection, so, even if their village is fine, being taken from it and lost in another country is actually deeply upsetting to them. It's a huge loss of identity. And that sense of holding and mending ties in well to their undead nature. The human skeleton.... is not supposed to sit together on its own. It's sewn together at many points by ligaments and sinews- so Taylor, as a being completely stripped of flesh, literally has to use their power to hold themselves together. The exposed threads on places like their jawbone, and the slightly ramshackle nature of their glamour as they start to pull it together, kind of deliberately evoke that stress for me- their stability is something they have to keep working on. Like only having one shirt with a stubborn rip in it- mending it will have to happen multiple times, and getting new pieces of fabric or trying new methods to help it stay.

But in a more positive sense, this also talks about how Taylor is actually a very magnetic person. They forge connections with people, and where their vulnerabilities may not always be enough to hold themselves together, those connections they've made to other people are able to save them in vital situations.

This actually comes back to that Taylor is associated with the water element- specifically, they're associated with blood. Blood is a potent symbol, and overt blood magic is a very 'bad guy' domain, but when you think about it, we've long used blood as a symbol of devotion and connection. Sworn brothers-in-arms sharing blood, a "blood oath"- or even in a scary sense, deals with the devil that are binding if they take our lifeblood. Taylor moving from life to undeath devours a useful reservoir they have of themselves- in line with the certainty and confidence they used to have- and while they cannot ever be unmarked by this, they will become able to build a new reservoir of self, identity, and blood, through the connections they have with others and a sort of symbolic transfusion in that sense. The red threads, in this sense, are an easy shorthand for veins, and at times might even take that form directly or emulate them.

It kind of ties in to how another very common "bad guy" trope is viscera, a sense of organic, seething life, life where it shouldn't be- which I've always found interesting when conflicts are often framed as life against death as a one to one with good against evil.

But at the same time, everyone knows that it's the bad guys who pull corpses out of the soil with new vitality, while the good guys can immolate those zombies with scathing force and resurrect their own bloodlessly and prettily.

(Yes, it's because we see in zombies a specter of death and decay, graves dishonored, and such; I'm not saying there aren't reasons for it, but I think that you could just as easily argue the opposite- that perhaps the stuff of darkness is the stuff of life)

Other than the nature and aesthetics of their powers, Taylor has a pretty classic goody two-shoes kind of mechanical 'class'- they play very much like a final fantasy Paladin who balances healing and defense with solid, reliable damage output. A condition Taylor has that's shared by many other characters in their setting is this sense of burnout and the need to maintain a reservoir- Taylor has to balance spending symbolic blood to attack, and keeping enough of it in their body to hold together in both a literal and figurative sense. As a valiant and noble person, they are dangerously inclined to pushing to their limits or waxing too sacrificial- they want to take care of everyone, and sometimes that means there's not enough left to take care of themselves.

[writing-frenzy]

Coven of Ghosts: Witch!Danny AU

So wow, it has been years since I’ve seen phandom; feels interesting. So yeah, pretty sure this has been done before, Danny being a witch or having magic, but with this AU, let’s have an unique twist (or at least hopefully is one).

First things’s first; the Nasty Burger explosion happened in this AU, meaning a grieving Danny is sent to Vlad. A Vlad who has now, “forever” lost his “chance” with Maddie. The Fruit Loop who would scapegoat and blame the young teen who is already his nemesis. I remember, so long ago, reading a post about how Vlad Masters was a manipulative, lying asshole, and that he didn’t tell the past Danny everything about what went on to make Dan what he was, because why would he? He’s probably even lying to himself after all these years, completely deluded. (If anyone happens to find it, please let me know!) 

And despite everything that’s happened, I doubt Danny trusts Vlad as far as he can throw him pre-ghosting. So while his comments and snide words hurt, Danny knows not to trust anything the man says (doesn’t mean though they can’t hit close to home tho.) but yeah, I can see Danny trying his best to think of any escape he can.

And well, after having Danny right where he wants him, why would Vlad allow that? The man has plans after all. So, he was planning to separate Danny’s human and ghost Halfs (Though I think this was only suppose to be temporary to be honest, because I doubt Vlad’s totally given up on having a Halfa-apprentice).

Phantom does go berserk, as a ghost taking the grief and rage at his situation up a couple notches, the emotional breakdown Danny’s only allowed himself once on full display. But Phantom is still in protect mode, and still wants to help, even if it’s only himself right now.

 And what better way to protect himself then to make sure his enemy can’t hurt him in turn?

So out comes Plasmius, who Phantom goes to fight. Now, it didn’t really ever make sense to me why Phantom would ever want to overshadow Plasmius, he probably wouldn’t want anything to do with him, like how Danny doesn’t want anything to do with Vlad.

But Plasmius wanting to overshadow Phantom? That I can see.

So that happens, with the fusion taking place, but I’m going to say thanks to Phantom’s emotional overload and more stable ghost Body, he was in control longer at the beginning. So, seeing how bad the situation is getting, this new fusion takes Danny through the Ghost Zone portal and gets out of dodge, no idea where he is going but away.

(In one timeline, maybe this fusion takes a wrong turn, goes through the wrong door, making it to where Danny dies, and sealing Dark Danny’s future, Phantom completely giving up, because if he can’t even save himself, what’s the point?)

In this timeline, A different turn is made, and a different future is made with it.

The fusion and Danny end up bumping into a witch.

Witch: >:D oh hey, Potential!

The Witch captures them, separating the fusion with their magic, and flinging Plasmius away, not at all interested in the old fart. No, they is more interested in the human with a ready made familiar/spirit guide. by the Ancients have they been looking for a student for so long.

(not to mention someone who can do all those pesky chores for them, free of charge.)

So yeah, Danny and Phantom are in for one wild ride in this AU

(Also, some notes for this AU)

Danny and Phantom having to work through this new relationship with each other, because they are each other, but now not, each growing in this whole new direction.

Danny able to actually fight as he is not, not having to rely on his ghost half all the time? (He will never mention just how nice it is, not having to feel so useless in his body.)

Some of the chores the Witch gives the two? it’s quests from different places in the ghost zone, causing some wacky adventures, especially if the Witch comes along for a “teaching experience”

(THE TWO ACTUALLY WORKING THROUGH THEIR ISSUES AND GRIEF, BOTH ABLE TO COME AWAY FROM IT AND GROW STRONGER FOR IT; OH, DOES IT HURT, DOES THE PAIN EVER REALLY GO AWAY? NO, BUT THE TWO CAN AT LEAST MOVE FORWARD AND NOW CREATE NEW BONDS NOW, EVEN IF THE NIGHTMARES HAUNT THEM SO.)

But speaking of bonds, Danny and Phantom each getting friends and even getting their own friend groups would be interesting.

Phantom being the Ghost King maybe a thing >:3

Danny maybe accidently becoming the/a Witch King~

so here a world where Danny and Phantom can once more be happy. Hope others like this idea!

[mallowstep]

📖 (foxstride)

ask thingy

@foxstride

okay i mentioned this to you on discord but i didn't go into it but. okay. okay. the au where mistyfoot is hawk, moth, and tadpole's mother. this has been just. it's been chewing on my brain and i don't know when i'm going to write it so since u gave me a blank canvas, i'm going to ramble about it for as long as i can.

cw: implied/referenced sexual assault; brief suicidal ideation; standard tigerclan content (abuse, child abuse, starvation, dehumanization, etc.); referenced force feeding

okay oh my gosh okay. this has. so obviously i've been thinking about riverclan lately. a lot. it's rcam. anyway. i don't want. i'm trying to get to the point and not loop around aimlessly for two hundred words but okay but okay. anyway.

i've been thinking of all the different ways i can deeply traumatize misty, storm, and feather. and maybe stone. maybe i'll let stone live at some point. that'd be fun.

right so i've been thinking of that and my ideas are all over the place. i'm going to let primrosepaw live at some point. at one point i'm going to have stormpaw, and maybe primrosepaw or reedpaw (and...what's the other one? is it perchpaw or pikepaw? whatever) the point is i'll have some collection of stormpaw and some or all of mistyfoot's kits escape but not misty and feather so we can do survivor's guilt and.

anyway so i was writing the excerpt for the primrosepaw is definitely there au (it's kind of not Tethered because most of these aren't mutually incompatible like that au could be any of the others), and tigerstar has that dialogue about kits yeah?

so when i was writing it, i was thinking about just. he's trying to dehumanize all of them, right? that's his goal with that line. he's separating mistyfoot from her kits, trying to erase the meaning of their relationships. that's like. that's what i was considering when i was writing it.

buuuuuuut. y'know. my brain is chewing on it. and it just. hm. Hm. what if. what If tadpole, moth, and hawk were misty and tiger kits. hm. hmm. hm.

and so i am just instantly. very on board with this. there's so much potential.

so i Think the point of canon divergence is the rescue attempt. i haven't decided if stormpaw is successfully rescued or not. featherpaw doesn't for reasons i'm circling around to, but stormpaw may or may not. it certainly Matters in a broad sense but i haven't made up my mind, and i doubt i'm going to write Multiple aus about this. i mean i might u never know but it'd b like writing an alternate stolag: i mean i suppose i Could but it would feel weird.

okay almost burnt my dinner i said i'm very this has just been slowly rotting my brain out. i like Angst and it's been a while since i've written any.

okay there was fmtws but really that got me started. i'm not a fluff person. and y'all know that by now.

so Back On Topic. so Anyway after the rescue attempt fails/partially fails, tigerstar takes his anger out at the apprentices being Alive on featherpaw and she gets to. uh. help tigerclan practice fighting.

"Let me see her," Mudfur hissed. "No," Tigerstar said. "I've told you." Mudfur growled. Featherpaw dragged herself to her feet, and Mistyfoot glanced back at her. They would leave they would leave they would leave and then she could lie down again and try not to think. "You're not my leader," Mudfur said, and Featherpaw winced. Mistyfoot could see what was going on, but she was sitting still as a stone. Mudfur pressed into their — Mudfur pressed in, laying a wrapped bundle at Mistyfoot's feet. "Let me—" "No," Mistyfoot said. "Just go." Mudfur dipped his head. Tigerstar's steps moved away from them, but the shouts and arguments surrounding Mudfur were just buzzing noise in Featherpaw's head. She made out, "She's going to die," and she thought, that wouldn't be the worst thing.

thank You featherpaw. you will suffer for the au as a whole. anyway this takes place...i'm not Quite sure but mistyfoot does have a reason for not letting mudfur in. and that reason is she is in Denial about being pregnant.

if mudfur comes in he'll know (i have not forgotten that cats can smell unlike the erins), and mistyfoot is acting in denial. altho she rationalizes it to herself as being for mudfur's protection: runningnose is a medicine cat too, and so tigerstar could off mudfur without much effort.

(also i tend to mix up mudfur and mudclaw sometimes understand i am talking about the riverclan medicine cat, not the windclan deputy. i just mistype them sometimes.)

anyway so she has a legitimate reason (mudfur's continual survival, which is better for her and featherpaw longterm), and she does not want mudfur to know.

yeah.

all in all, this happens before the great battle. mistyfoot fights in it (again, denial), featherpaw and stormpaw are reunited (yes i think i made up my mind), (wait maybe stonefur lives too, and then both pairs of siblings reconnect, and stonefur is like "oh Shit" and. okay yes. maybe. i don't know.)

(there's a Lot. ohh maybe. wait best of both worlds okay. mistyfoot Thinks stonefur is dead. but stonefur doesn't get a proper burial but at the same time riverclan is Not going to go for their deputy on bonepile and even if they do go for it, they're not going to stripe his bones nor are they going to let a Physical Cat Corpse rot in camp. so when firestar and greystripe rescue stormpaw, stormpaw Insists they go back for his body, and then they realize he's Alive but obviously mistyfoot doesn't know.)

(there then i get the Best of both worlds. and stonefur and feathertail are in the Chronic Pain club.)

(also the thing w/ fighting is also what happens in "someday when the world is much brighter". not that Particular scene or in that Particular way, but it does happen. i mean almost exactly in that particular way. but that scene is from a different fic.)

anyway okay moving on i did add too much chili powder to my dinner but that's fine i'm still not over when someone refused to give me more harissa because "it's spicy" like yes i know i guarantee my mom makes it spicier.

back on topic sorry. i've been writing this as i do other things bc i have so much to say about this and i don't want to wait for tomorrow to share this because it's been just Rotting away my brain.

anyway so siblings reunite. it's...terse. it's complicated.

there's some parallels going on right? like because both featherpaw and stormpaw are basically in the mindset of looking after their mentors (which mistyfoot and stonefur feel Terrible about), everyone has survivor's guilt (i don't know what to call like, survivor's guilt when it's not actually survivor's guilt so if someone has a correct word please let me know) except for Maybe featherpaw.

featherpaw might be the Only one here who doesn't have survivor's guilt. i don't really want to explore the one way she could end up with it. that's past my comfort level at the moment.

but stormpaw and mistyfoot are the most physically healthy, and stormpaw and stonefur escaped.

stormpaw: i have not been hurt by this in any way

everyone around stormpaw: you have definitely been hurt by this

stormpaw: i have not been hurt by this in any way

stormpaw and featherpaw become warriors, leopardstar makes mistyfoot deputy (because stonefur is still recovering and also no longer wants the position. mistyfoot doesn't either but she's in denial and she doesn't want anyone else to have it. mistyfoot is visibly pregnant and still kind of in denial at this point. like it's been at least a moon and she is refusing to talk about it.)

right so i think stormpaw's name is going to be stormheart because i don't know it was always weird to me that stormfur and stonefur have the same suffix. like given Everything that's going on it feels weird to me. ig it'd actually be less weird in this, given that stonefur is still alive, but do you know How Close stonefur and stormfur are. they're one consonant cluster off. they're One consonant cluster off.

so leopardstar names him stormheart. feathertail can keep her name because it's pretty.

mistyfoot is a moon away from kitting. she refuses to talk about it. to anyone. whatsoever.

feathertail and stonefur decide to stage an intervention.

(they leave stormheart out not because he's not part of the found family, but because mistyfoot literally will not tolerate a single word about this. like a single word. like she will growl at you if you look at her stomach for too long.

so given the fairly high odds that mistyfoot gets violent, they keep stormheart out of it. she's the least likely to attack stonefur and feathertail.

stormheart finds out about this later and is like "do you guys realize if this went south you had absolutely 0 control over the situation. like what are you guys going to do. you incapable of doing anything to stop her if something goes wrong."

feathertail is like "yes. that's the point."

feathertail is both kind of right and also very internally messed up from being used for "training" when she wasn't allowed to fight back. feathertail also hates if you call her by just her prefix. she does not tell anyone this. misty is aware of this, and she tells stone and storm, and riverclan does eventually figure it out. plus it's not like feathertail is close enough to anyone else for them to call her "feather".

okay i'm getting off topic sorry i've been working on a tpb thing for swtwimb, and the one scene i have is cats making fun of her for not fighting back (again she is not allowed to they might kill her if she does), so they call her "featherkit" and that eventually gets brought down to feather and i'm rambling anyway On topic again.)

so stonefur and feathertail are like. "mistyfoot you are like. a half moon away from kitting. it is impairing your ability to do warrior duties. you need to like. acknowledge this."

anyway after a very terse conversation. after a veeery terse conversation, where mistyfoot is like. very close to just absolutely abandoning riverclan. they get her to admit that yes she is pregnant and yes she needs to stop doing warrior duties for the moment.

she wasn't exactly Healthy when she was pregnant because even tho tigerstar made a Point of making her like. eat enough to be healthy and also not violently attacking her. she had still been starved for...idk long enough for her ribs to show. i'm not sure what the exact timeline on this is yet.

also then After Tigerclan she did not eat as much as she should have because (a) denial and (b) she had been forcefed and so now she's. not doing that.

oh wow i've written long enough for my grammar checker to turn off again. that hasn't happened in ages.

all bets are off from here on out re grammar and spelling.

okay so mistyfoot isn't going to move into the nursery. i believe mosspelt has had a litter of 3 kits, or will have one as we see in asir, but mistyfoot isn't. she's not moving into it. stone, misty, storm, and feathertail share a den. no one else is allowed into it for Any Reason.

so anyway, they expand the den. riverclan as a whole might? i'm not sure who's good at weaving bc i don't have headcanons for this time period. probably not feathertail, but possibly stonefur. hm. anyway, they expand the den, mistyfoot will raise the kits in this den, everyone is on board with this.

mostly because it's this or mistyfoot like. runs away. which obviously no one wants. riverclan is on the side of...the four? riverclan is on the side of the four. even if they're not like, even though the four don't trust them, feathertail and misty especially (stone and storm tolerate it much better). but even tho things are complicated, riverclan is certainly going to do actions. they're certainly going to try to demonstrate their support.

okay so mistyfoot gives birth to her kits, and she is. not feeling good. about it. she's feeling terrible about it actually. she's feeling terrible about things. she doesn't want to name them.

usuuually in this situation, after the queens (collective) decided its in the best interest of the kits to be raised by someone other than their birth mother, the kits would be given to another queen.

but see. feathertail, stonefur, and stormheart are All attatched to these kits. deeply attatched to them. and mistyfoot is not willing to give them up either.

so mistyfoot isn't willing to give them up to another riverclan queen, and feathertail, stone, and storm all Want to raise them, and also don't want to give them to another queen.

the queens confer with mudfur that it is absolutely the worst possible thing they could do to forcibly remove the kits from mistyfoot. like that is the Worst option. they'd be lucky to get the kits alive, feathertail and mistyfoot are likely to abandon riverclan, and if misty and feathertail abandon riverclan, stone and storm will follow.

they're stuck in a standstill for a while. the four eventually do name them hawkkit, mothkit, and tadpolekit. the kits are about a moon old and ready to be weaned. mistyfoot is still extremely tense about the affair, but she's willing to part with them. she's able to recognize that's in the best interest of the kits, mosspelt's litter is about the same age, moving them into the nursery is going to give them a more normal upbringing, everyone is on the same page.

feathertail, who's having a lot of self worth issues, decides that moving into the nursery is her best bet for clan usefulness (which (a) feathertail you cannot keep up with kits and (b) the whole Place she's in is bad to begin with), moves in with them.

the kits decide feathertail is their mother now (they're old enough to understand that she didn't give birth to them, altho i haven't decided if they remember misty as their mother and if they're told any information re their birth parents depends exactly What kind of angst i want to write), and feathertail is. okay with this.

unlike asir, she's not blindsided with the tigerstar-is-their-father reveal, so she does have some issues with hawkkit reminding her of tigerstar, he's not really her Big Bad Trauma Nightmares. she has way more issues with the riverclan warriors directly involved in her abuse.

anyway, i don't know what happens tnp era stuff. i haven't gotten that far yet. maybe this will be another au where hawk and/or moth is a prophecy cat. i'm not sure. i haven't gotten farther than this.

but here you go i started writing this like an hour and a half ago and while i did stop to eat, i also just finally put everything i have for this au on one page and i hope and pray that will stave off the brainrot until i have a chance to actually write it.

[chokemeanakin]

Give Me Love

Chapter Three

Wc: 2.3k

MASTERLIST

All along, Anakin knew what he was doing. He could sense the crush you had on him since the night he had thanked you for saving Ahsoka. He didn’t even have to reach out to feel the effect he had on you-- your force signature sizzled with nerves, so strong sometimes it twisted his own gut.

He thought it was cute, until he realized the strength of your anxiety hadn’t faded, even weeks after you had first met. Then, he grew worried. Was your bashfulness not of infatuation? Were you actually scared of him? What had he done to make you feel that way?

His concerns grew stronger as he tried time and time again to catch your eye. To get you to carry a conversation with him. He would watch you from across the room, laughing and gesturing wildly with your hands as you talked with Sabe and Ahsoka. But when he came around, always, you would pull away-- duck your head, soften your voice, recede back into that shell of yours. He just wanted you to talk to him.

So when the opportunity to walk you home from Dex’s came from his scheming Padawan, there was no way he could refuse. Sure, he’d just gotten done with his Jedi duties for the day, and he was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to shower and hit the pillow. But your company and attention was dangled over his head— a chance to understand you better, understand why you avoided him like the plague-- obviously he had to take it.

That night, it was confirmed that you liked him. You liked him a lot. He felt the waves of your burning heart crackle over his skin, sink its way into his own veins. He was giddy with flatter, but something else buzzed at the back of his mind. It added a pep to his walk as he raced down the apartment steps, opening the door up to the fresh night air, sucking in a deep breath to soothe his sparking nerves at the sudden revelation:

He liked you.

He had suspected, when your sweet face appeared in his dreams for the third night in a row. And then, when he heard your timid voice come over Ahsoka’s com—

“Hello, General Skywalker”— his stomach did a funny little flip.

When he had said your name in the starfighter hangar, he felt that gushing warmth leak off of your force signature, and a similar feeling encouraged a fond triumph he felt at being able to get such a reaction from you.

And again when he knocked on the door to your workstation in the medbay— the one he found because Ahsoka had given him the room number after a careful inquisition— and he had seen you covered in blood like the first time you guys met.

That first day on Hyloth, he hadn’t really been paying attention. His Padawan had very nearly died, and he couldn’t focus on the wide-eyed fawn sitting across from him that had just worked magic with her hands, saving his apprentice’s life.

But now, the thought of those steely eyes had him spurning to action. He had been searching for an excuse to get you alone for weeks, when finally— that ticket to the hell-gates they call the Opera turned out to be his paradise in disguise. It was smooth sailing after that.

For you, it was all stress-tears, tugging hair, and trashed closets as Sabe and Ahsoka struggled to help find you something to wear.

“You’re going to come right from your shift,” Sabè pointed out. “Why can’t you just stay in your scrubs?”

“Anakin said we could stop here if I wanted to change,” you answered meekly. “I can’t go to dinner with him in scrubs!”

“But you like your scrubs.”

“He probably doesn’t.”

“Y/n,” Ahsoka caught you by the shoulders. You sniffed tearfully. “Get ahold of yourself. Anakin does not care. You could be wearing a trash bag, for Force sake, and he’d still like you.”

“He’d— what?”

Ahsoka paled. Sabè snickered.

Her words played over and over in your mind on a tape reel. He’d still like you. He’d still like you. He’d still like you.

He likes me?

Your face erupted into flame, and your heart stuttered in your chest. All thoughts left your head except for those four glorious words, growing louder and louder with each passing second, sounding less and less like a dream.

He likes me!

“Gaahh,” Ahsoka moaned, throwing herself onto your bed and crossing her arms fitfully. “This is so training school. I did not tell you that.”

Her sharp Togruta teeth made an appearance at the request/threat, and you nodded automatically. Your head was still fuzzy, but you found your lips moving.

“Did he… did he tell you that?”

90% of you still didn’t believe it. You trusted Ahsoka with every bone in your body, and Ahsoka had no reason to lie, but for some reason you just could not absorb the fact that Anakin motherfucking Skywalker might like you.

It was impossible.

“He didn’t have to,” Ahsoka rolled her eyes. “I know my Master like the back of my hand.”

“But… but how do you know?”

“Please, have you seen the way he looks at you? He’s constantly asking about you— ‘Have you seen Y/n today? Has she done something different with her hair? Will she be coming by the mess hall later? Why doesn’t she want to talk to me?’ He even asked me what your station number was in the medbay yesterday so he could find you— and he thought he was being sneaky about it.”

All these new revelations coming out.. they punched you in the stomach, one by one. The thud of your heart became thick, and your breathing grew labored. Sabè heard the telltale whistle first, and her hand flew to the bedside drawer.

“Easy there, iron-lung,” she teased, tossing you your inhaler. It smacked into your palm, but the flesh was numb as you fumbled with the cap to get it off. You fit the opening between your lips and pressed on the top. The medicine dispensed into your throat, and you sucked in to force it to take action in your lungs. Ahsoka chewed on her lip as she waited for you to inhale another dose before she spoke again.

“You really like him that much?” Her voice was soft.

You nodded, pouting and capping your inhaler. If it wasn’t obvious, you were head over heels for Anakin. You thought she was just now beginning to get the true depth of your feelings.

“Okay,” she ran two stressed hands over her face. “Okay.”

If this was any other Jedi you were talking to, you would have been nervous. The Order forbids attachment, meaning Jedi cannot be in relationships. They can’t love exclusively. They can’t hold a romantic position in anyone’s life.

That’s why you had tried to hide your feelings about Ahsoka’s Master from her at first. Why she had such a hard time getting it out of you— you naturally assumed she was just as strict on that rule as the rest of the Jedi. But then… after a girls night out, where you, Sabè, and Ahsoka were sitting at a table in a nightclub, having some fun and shooting back far too many shots… she let the truth slip out.

Too many truths, really, and none her own.

She slurred about how angry Anakin made her. How he kept secrets from her, and how much it hurt that he wouldn’t trust her. Trust her with what?

With his relationship.

You and Sabè had reeled back, and then laughed. Anakin? In a relationship? Impossible! Ridiculous! It was forbidden. But Ahsoka wasn’t laughing. She explained how he was in love with Padme Amidala, the Senator from Naboo.

Sabè stopped laughing. That was her boss, and she was second in command to the woman. They worked closely together all their lives. You watched as Sabè’s mind whirled, and slowly the pieces clicked together.

It could make sense. I’ve seen her slip away a few times… seen her come back all flushed and giddy… like a girl in love.

Your heart dropped. It had been plummeting ever since Ahsoka mentioned Anakin was in a relationship. It felt like it was being torn out straight from your chest.

That’s not allowed, you protested. As if that could change anything.

You should know by now, Anakin rarely cares for the rules. He’s loved Padme since he was a little boy— nothing was going to stop him from having her.

You tried to hide your wince with each stinging word. More than anything else, you wanted to just stop talking about it. To forget you ever found out, and live in that blissful fantasy you’d created in your mind where anything was possible. Every new truth that saw light felt like an ice cold bucket over your head, smudging out your burning heart. But you had to ask, just to see her stance on it...

You’ve been keeping it a secret?

Of course I’m keeping it a secret. I know he’d do the same for me. And she made him happy, so I didn’t really see the harm. Sometimes… I wish I could have what he and Padme had. I think it should be allowed.

And then.

Anyway, it doesn’t matter now. He was a wreck when they broke up. Wouldn’t talk to anyone for days. Not even me. Why won’t he trust me?

Your heart paused in it’s free-fall.

Why’d they… why’d they break up, do you think?

I did overhear him and Obi-Wan discuss her when they thought I was sleeping. Obi-Wan was asking why the two never spoke anymore when they had once been great friends. All Anakin said was that she was using him for political gain. ‘She had the voice, but I made it echo,’ is what he said. It makes sense. The Senate views him as a hero, and if they knew she was good friends with him, more votes would sway in her direction.”

Your insides were spitting confetti, cheering bells ringing in your head. A calm ocean of relief washed over you— nothing to worry about. Anakin wasn’t taken. And Anakin had a history of dating. Which meant… feasibly… in your imagination… it wasn’t impossible for what you yearned for so desperately. Your silly little daydreams didn’t look so silly anymore.

It could happen.

Your mind took it and ran, conjuring up all sorts of scenarios where he took you in his arms and declared his love. You thought about it before you fell asleep, woke up to his fading voice swearing his loyalty to you over and over, played it through your head as you completed your everyday procedural tasks in the medbay. They were fantasies— ridiculous and impractical— but they were your comfort to quell the molten burn of your lava heart.

The day after, Ahsoka had woken up with a terrible hangover and an even terrible regret.

You can’t tell anyone I said that, she had cried— the first time you’d ever seen her cry. I promised myself I would never betray Anakin like that.

Of course you wouldn’t go to the Council. She really had to have more faith in you and Sabè. His secret was safe with you, and so was Ahsoka’s similar disregard for the “no attachment” rule.

That’s why you were comfortable with sharing your true feelings about Anakin with her— because you knew she would accept it for what they were, and not freak out and get Anakin kicked out of the order. She had romantic experiences before as well, all of which she’d come to you and Sabè for advice, and then a shoulder to lean on when they didn’t work out.

You really thought the Order should rethink that rule. Two of their greatest Jedi have broken it, and they’re still doing good work for them.

But alas, it had to remain a secret. Just like Anakin’s feelings for you, as it so gloriously turned out.

“Wear the scrubs,” Ahsoka finally got her thoughts in order. She sat up and poked you on the cheek. “He likes seeing you in your element.”

“It’ll take a lot less time, as well,” Sabè chimed in, always the voice of reason. “Dex’s is 8 blocks over. It would be ridiculous to go from the Temple, here, and then backtrack 10 blocks just so you can put on a dress. Besides, it’s Dex’s.”

She was right. You didn’t need to look fancy at all. And if Anakin liked seeing you in your scrubs… well…

Excitement began to battle out the nerves. But— you were still so nervous. You couldn’t help it. It had your stomach churning, nausea rising steadily as each second that passed brought you closer to your dinner with Anakin. Now, with the excitement coupled in, your nerves were beginning to feel burnt out, your mind frazzled and weary. You sat down heavily onto the bed next to Ahsoka, rubbing your forehead with your fingers.

“I can’t take this stress,” you admitted. It was one thing to be buzzing with it every second that Anakin occupied space in your mind. It was another to admit it to your friends out loud— to give in to the insecurities.

“You can,” Sabè leveled a steady gaze into you. Her brown eyes were warm and brave. A politician's confidence with a freedom-fighter’s heart. “Just think of what could happen if things turn out amazing. Think of how proud of yourself you’ll be.”

“Besides, it’s just Anakin,” Ahsoka tried to hammer that statement into you once again, with little luck. “He already likes you. You have nothing to lose.”

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[duhragonball]

Hellsing Liveblog Ch. 68-69 (nice)

This is the “Castlevania” arc.   It’s only two parts, but I want to slow down and take my time with this one.

Okay, so in the last chapter, Alucard was fighting Alexander Anderson, who used one of the nails from the True Cross to pierce his own heart, which transformed Anderson into some sort of miraculous creature made of thorny tendrils.   Then he struck a heavy blow on Alucard’s head, and just sort of kept on going down his neck and chest.  

And as far as we call tell, this is the most danger Alucard’s been in since the story began.  Anderson lopped off his head in their first encounter, and even that didn’t stop him.   Now, in this “holy monster” form, Anderson can grow back body parts just as easily as Alucard, and he seems to be able to hurt Alucard a lot more than ever before.  The irony is that Alucard might have been honored to lose to Anderson, but only when he was a human foe.  Now that Anderson has used the Nail of Helena to become something inhuman, Alucard feels that it diminishes their fight.   

Regardless, Alucard is in serious danger, or so it seems.   Even his horde of familiars are bursting into flames all around him, which I assume is a side-effect of Anderson’s attack.   As this happens, Alucard appears to lose consciousness, and flashes back to his childhood. 

This whole flashback seemed like a nonsequitur to me when I watched the Hellsing Ultimate OVA, but I think it makes a bit more sense this time around.  As a boy in the 1440′s, Vlad Tepes was something of a religious fantatic, much like Father Anderson in 1999.   He pledged to never ask God for anything, which I don’t think is theologically sound, but let’s run with it.  The point here seems to be that Vlad felt it was more pious to endure hardship while keeping his faith in God.

For example, in this scene, we see Vlad being dragged away to be raped, and he grabs the cross he wears around his neck for solace.   He doesn’t beg God for mercy or deliverance, but simply clings to his faith to see him through.   

I’m assuming the man in shadow is Sultan Murad II of the Ottoman Empire.  In 1442, Murad summoned Vlad’s father to Gallipoli, and he went there with Vlad and his brother Ruda.  The Sultane then imprisoned all three of them, and eventually released Vlad’s father, but kep the boys as hostages to ensure the fahter’s loyalty.   There was a period when Vlad’s father sided against the Ottomans, and he presumed his sons had been killed, but in fact they survived and eventually returned to Wallachia.   So maybe Kouta Hirano is taking some creative license here, and suggesting that Murad II took out his anger on Vlad in other ways. 

Eventually, Vlad became the Voivoide of Wallachia, and in this flashback we find that he considers fighting to be a form of prayer.   Not for mercy, because Vlad refuses to ask for that.   Instead, he seems to believe that if you just keep fighting hard enough, God will descend from the heavens.   None of this made sense to me the first time around, but once you start interpreting this in the context of Vlad as a religious extremist, it starts to add up.   Anderson’s fellows in the Iscariot Organization were literally blowing themselves up to help Anderson defeat Alucard, and they were happy to do it, because they saw it as a holy mission.    Anderson himself was eager to use the Nail to make himself into a monster, because he craved to be a single-minded instrument of God’s will.   A righteous bludgeon to smite the wicked.    Vlad Tepes’ “bloodlust” seems to have been inspired by a similar zealotry, at least as Hirano sees it.

But in the end, did God descend to respond to Vlad’s “prayers”?   The image of the modern Alucard is all the answer we need.    Of course that didn’t happen.  

I’m just cribbing from the Vlad the Impaler page on Wikipedia, but from what I gather about Vlad’s final years, he was fighting for the office of Voivoide of Wallachia against Basarab Laiotă , who had support from the Ottoman Empire.   Vlad fought and lost, probably dying in battle in December 1476/Janury 1477.   The story goes that his corpse was cut into pieces, and his head sent to Ottoman Sultan Mehmed II.

So Kouta Hirano depicts Vlad’s final moments with him being captured and executed.  This is certainly plausible, and it gives Vlad a chance to reflect on his failure before he meets his fate.    He fought and killed so many people, daring to resist the Ottomans even as he ruled a state that was basically controlled by the Ottomans, and I guess he must have known how impossible that would be, which is why he counted on God to deliver him, so long as he fought hard enough.

But in that final moment, just as the axe comes down on his neck, he still has his cross... but instead of taking solace in that, he reaches out instead for the puddle of blood in front of him.    The axe comes down and shatters the cross, just as Vlad Tepes forsakes his humanity.  

So maybe all of this is a way of Alucard accepting defeat.   Defeated and humbled, no longer a servant of God or a leader of men, no longer even a man, he renounced his faith and became the vampire Dracula, and eventually Alucard.    But now Anderson seems to have the upper hand, so maybe, after 523 years, Vlad Tepes is back where he started, facing an inevitable death.  

And you know, maybe Anderson’s monster form represents the divine intervention he was waiting for back in the 15th Century.   After all these centuries of battle, you might say that God finally did descend from heaven to respond to Alucard.   So maybe this is a fitting swan song for the guy.  He wanted to die at the hands of a human adversary, but maybe this works too, right?  

But then he hears someone calling out to him, and...

Hey, it’s Seras!

So yeah, we’re back to the real world, and Anderson’s well on his way to chopping Alucard in half and burning him with holy fire or something...

And Alucard’s still out of it...

And then Seras jumps in to save his ass!   Cool!

The only problem is that this was killing Alucard, and Seras is less powerful than Alucard, so she’s probably not going to be able to do a lot of good here.    For that matter, this might just get both of them killed.  

And this is why I think this moment is cool.   When Team Four Star did their Abridged parody of Hellsing, they sort of skipped this whole “Seras jumps in” part of the fight.   Instead, they did a whole thing where Alucard has a near-death experience and talks to God.   Then he rejects God’s offer of forgiveness and goes on to defeat Anderson by himself.   I don’t care much for that, because Seras is my favorite character, and I find the whole routine of “Well maybe I don’t need your forgiveness, God!” kind of stale and limp.    Can something be stale and limp at the same time?  

Like, I think I get that a lot of atheists are sore at the whole “organized religion” thing, but it seems kind of silly to write a whole bit where the premise is that God is real, but only so we can all tell him to get lost.  Like, I’m a Christian, so I can’t really relate, but if I thought God didn’t exist, I wouldn’t spend all day writing angry text messages to God to remind him of how fake he is.  

But mostly, I just really like Seras, and this is a cool Seras scene, and I think that deserves attention, so here we are.

The Alucard-Seras relationship is complex by design.    With Integra and Alucard, there’s not much to it.   She literally addresses him as “slave” at one point, and he repeatedly talks about himself like a weapon that she has to point at her target.   There’s something kind of like that with Al and Seras.   In one of their first missions together, he sends her to take out a bunch of ghouls just so he won’t be bothered, and it’s almost like he’s weilding her as a weapon.  But he also never leans on that too hard.  For one thing, there’s not a whole lot of thngs Seras can do for him that he can’t do more easily himself.   

It feels a lot more like a Master/Apprentice relationship, which may not strictly be a vampire thing, because he’s teaching her how to hunt vampires and how to be a vampire at the same time.  I think Seras has the same sort of devotion to her master as he does for Integra, but that’s mostly overshadowed by a more down-to-earth respect and admiration.   She sees him like a superior officer and a mentor, but she also knows that he has this strange charm over her that she can’t explain or resist.  

One of the things I can’t stand about he Gonzoverse Hellsing Anime is how after a while they just started having Seras say “Master...!” over and over.    I get it, there’s some power in the way she says it.   It means a lot of things to her.   I wouldn’t be shocked to find out that “Castlevania part 2″ inspired some of that, but I don’t know what chapter of the manga was published when the anime wrapped up.   But it annoyed me that they just used “Master...!” over and over again as a shorthand for Seras’s feelings.   You have to do something with it.  Demonstrate it, like we’re seeing here with Seras trying to remove a blessed bayonet from Alucard’s torso.    She has to help him, even if it means risking her own neck, because he means so much to her, and she wouldn’t be here without him.   And yeah, she’s his vampire servant, so this seems like something a loyal servant should be doing.   Stickin’ together is what good waffles do.

Let me pause here to note that this marks the destruction of whatever remained of Dandyman and Rip van Winkle, the only “name” characters featured in Alucard’s menagerie of absorbed souls.    Whatever Anderson is doing to Alucard, it’s destroying them, irrevocably.  

So it occurred to me one day, what if Seras has to save Alucard, not out of slavish devotion or plucky heroism, or even righteous loyalty?   Way back in Chapter 1, Integra explained vampires to the local authorities, and said that when you kill a vampire, you also destroy all the ghouls and servant vampires that were created by that first vampire.   In other words, if Alucard were to be destroyed, Seras ought to die with him.    So maybe her efforts here could be nothing more than self-preservation.    I’m not wild about that idea.   Maybe, after drinking Pip’s blood, Seras “graduated” from that lowly status, and she no longer depends upon Alucard in this way.  

But I think the point remains either way.   They’re in this together.   Alucard called the two of them a family, and it wasn’t just creepy vampire talk.   There’s a bond between them, and it matters to both of them.   And that’s why Seras’ intervention here is what brings Alucard back from the brink.   By rushing in to help him, Seras has placed herself in danger, and now they have to rescue each other.

I like this part where he puts his hand on hers as they pull out the bayonet together.    It’s like the moment when Seras reached out to Alucard in Cheddar and he took her hand then.   Well, that was only in the OVA, but still.  

Alucard tells Anderson that he might have welcomed a death like this, maybe back when he was about to get beheaded in 1476, but now, he refuses to be defeated.    523 years ago, he was at his lowest ebb.   He had nothing.   Today, he has Seras.  

And... yeah, he has Integra too.   I don’t want to dismiss the importance of that relationship.   But Integra could find a way to get by without him if she needed to.   He has a responsibility to Seras, though, and Seras’s loyalty trumps whatever death-fantasies he might have on his mind.

Then Al turns into this form, which I guess is the same outfit he was wearing back in 1989, when Integra found him in the basement.  Not sure if that’s supposed to mean anything, though.  

Oh, and I guess there’s still a few familiars that didn’t burn up from before?   This is the last time we see them though, so maybe this final attack finishes them off.

As Alucard strikes the final blow on Anderson, Integra flashes back to her father, who taught her about the vampires’ inner psyche.    Arthur Hellsing suggested that vampires don’t have a whole lot to show for their immortality.   They crave conflict, not for its own sake, but becuse they long for death.   Not just any ol’ death, but a kind of death that they could take some solace in.   We’ve already seen this in Alucard, as he seems to relish the idea of being killed by a human like Anderson, or van Helsing.    If all he wanted was death, he could have let that Ottoman headsman finish the job 523 years ago.   Instead, he lost everything, and he’s spent centuries with nothing to take comfort in.   And that probably explains why Alucard is so happy with his service to Integra.   At least she gives him a purpose, a duty, a cause to fight for.  

And finally, Alucard rips out Anderson’s heart, with the Holy Nail still in it. 

And he crushes it, which I guess it enough to neutralize the Nail’s effect?   Well, cool enough then.

But Al takes no pleasure in this victory.   He sees in Anderson a reflection of himself, back when he was a human.   The fanaticism, the failure, the rejection of humanity to become a monster, and then failure again.   

And then Anderson, or whats’ left of him, consoles Alucard before he dies.

[solohux]

Thank you for these prompts, Lottie. “I don’t want to be claimed by anyone but you.” with omega Kylo and alpha Hux, please.

47-: “I don’t want to be claimed by anyone but you.”

In the middle of reviewing Captain Phasma’s newest squadron of elite stormtroopers, General Hux is summoned to the holochamber for a surprise meeting with the Supreme Leader. It isn’t out of the ordinary for Snoke to suddenly request the presence of his two co-commanders to, no doubt, bark commands at them to boost his own ego before ordering them on another menial mission to locate the map to Skywalker.

Hux rolls his eyes but makes his way to the holochamber anyway, meeting Kylo on the way there. As usual, the omega is dressed head-to-toe in his black robes, his young and handsome face hidden by that infernal mask, though Hux is partially grateful for it; without it, Kylo’s youthful looks and baby-face, as Hux calls it, precedes him and ruins his fierce reputation as the ‘Jedi Killer’. Plus, Hux takes great enjoyment from the fact that only he is permitted to look upon Kylo’s face and body; a privilege of being Kylo’s almost-mate.

“I don’t like this,” Kylo says, halting outside of the grand doors to the holochamber. “I sense something.”

“Maybe it’s your heat approaching,” Hux says, taking hold of Kylo’s hand and gently pulling his glove off a little to gain access to his wrist, feeling it for a fever. “We said we were going to go away when you next fell into heat, remember? To that spa on Lagoonia.”

“I remember,” Kylo says, and Hux can just tell that the omega is smiling.

“To make things official,” Hux glances down. “If that’s—”

Kylo pulls his hand free from the alpha’s hold and closes the gap between them until they’re chest-to-chest, “It’s all I want, Hux. To be claimed by you, to be yours.”

Hux smiles, reaching up to smooth his hand across the cheek of Kylo’s mask, moving to guide the omega into a kiss—though he just has to settle for pressing his lips to the cold forehead of Kylo’s mask; it’s enough for now.

“But that isn’t what I meant,” Kylo says, his voice laced with concern. “It’s the Force. It feels like it’s trying to warn me about something.”

“I’m sure it’s just some nervous jitters about this meeting. After what he did to you last time. Your bruises are still healing” Hux steps back and stands tall beside the omega, wanting to calm him with his presence and calm himself instead of thinking how Snoke brought physical punishment upon Kylo only a few days ago for an unsuccessful mission. “It’ll be over before you know it and we’ll be back in our chambers before dinner arrives.”

Kylo says nothing, just nods in silent agreement.

As soon as they step through the doors and enter the domineering gaze of their Supreme Leader, they hide their feelings for each other and become nothing more than bitter co-commanders. They both agreed that it’s safer this way, to keep their courtship and relationship from Snoke; the Leader would only disapprove and argue that their love is splitting their focus from their duties.

The alpha’s leering, blue hologram is already perched high on his massive throne when Hux and Kylo enter.

“Precisely on time,” Snoke chuckles. “Do you ever make mistakes, General Hux?”

“I like to think myself incapable of errors, Supreme Leader,” Hux announces proudly with his chin held high, fighting to keep his thoughts of Kylo from his mind. The pair stand on the raised platform at the end of the walkway, halting side-by-side—but not too close.

“Indeed,” Snoke turns his gaze upon Kylo. “I won’t ask my apprentice the same question. We know how much he seems to enjoy failing me.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Hux sees Kylo’s shoulders drop. The omega’s distressed scent is rolling off of him in waves, potent and worrying; as an alpha himself, Snoke must be able to smell it, to sense how afraid Kylo is of receiving more bruises and trauma.

“But that is beside the point,” Snoke says, sitting back in his throne. “I have called upon you both to share some…thrilling news.”

“We wait with held breath, Supreme Leader,” Hux says.

The old creature smiles a twisted grin, “I have been in touch with an old friend of mine, a true acolyte of the dark side. He is powerful, of royal Sith heritage, and a pure-blooded alpha.”

“Impressive,” Hux nods, feigning interest.

“That he is, General Hux. He is strong with the Force and a great leader. An alpha that many crave to destroy but he triumphs over enemies with ease. He shall be a tremendous asset to our cause. But, a man of such prowess and talent comes with a price.”

Hux is already coming up with his argument against this plan inside of his own mind, knowing that their budget will not be able to afford whatever this old disciple is asking for.

“And his price?” Snoke leans forward, and the horrific realisation hits Hux like a punch to the gut. “He wants you, Kylo. My young omega.”

“No.” Hux answered without thinking, without a moment’s thought about their secret relationship.

“No?” Snoke parrots. “How dare you question my authority, General.”

“This isn’t right,” Hux says, stepping forward in front of Kylo, holding an arm out as though shielding him from the prospect of being married off to another alpha but his logical mind quickly prevails with a more convincing argument from someone who is meant to dislike Kylo. “What you’re suggesting, it’s…it would be detrimental to the hierarchy of the First Order. Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren is an integral part of our plans for rule, as much as it pains me to admit. We need him as he is.”

“Kylo has failed me one too many times, General,” Snoke yells in his powerful alpha voice, making Kylo cower. “If he is enough of a whore that he will spread his legs for you—a bastard, runt of an alpha—then he shall do this.”

Hux’s blood runs cold. He steps back until he bumps into Kylo, feeling the omega’s heavy breaths from his heaving chest.

“Yes. I know of your intimacy outside of these doors,” the commanding alpha sneers. “You think you could hide it from me. I see everything in Kylo’s mind for he is my weapon, my property. If I command him to bow then he will do it.”

Hux’s stomach twists, begging, “No, Supreme Leader—”

“Bow, omega! Bow before your one, true master!”

“No, Kylo!” Hux turns just to see his almost-mate fall to his knees, catching himself on his hands and somehow looking like a lost kitten instead of a hulking knight as he surrenders to the power of Snoke’s alpha-voice. Hux stares at his omega with angered tears in his eyes, willing him to get up and fight back against this evil creature before them. But he doesn’t. Kylo doesn’t move.

Snoke laughs, the terrible sound echoing around the chamber, “See, General? Kylo is nothing more than a pup who needs to be given orders. And my alpha acolyte will keep him in his place with a claim mark upon his pretty neck. Perhaps a litter or two in his belly.”

Hux seethes with rage, wishing he had his blaster on him to take a well-aimed shot between Snoke’s eyes. He won’t allow this to happen, he can’t.

“And should you interfere in this arrangement,” Snoke says, standing up tall and towering over Hux. “Then I shall strip our young omega of everything he has—his power, his sanity—and then make him watch as I kill you, General Hux. I can give you a preview of his torture now if you so wish.”

Hux scrunches his nose up in pure rage but keeps a relatively calm tone, “That won’t be necessary.”

Snoke seems convinced, “Good. The acolyte will be aboard in three days to meet with his new mate and to claim him. I suspect he will like his prize to be in heat as he claims him so be a good soldier and arrange that, hm? An appointment with medbay for a heat-inducing injection will be sufficient.”

“Understood.”

Snoke’s horrid, victorious laughter echoes as the hologram fizzes out and leaves the two co-commanders alone in the empty chamber. As soon as the Leader is gone, Hux drops to his knees beside Kylo and cups both sides of his helmeted face.

“Ren?” Hux says, terrified that the news of being forced to become mated to another alpha has broken his mind. “Ren? Kylo, please talk to me. I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise. Just talk to me.”

Kylo says nothing but Hux can see the trembling of his shoulders, the quiet sounds of crying from behind the safety of his mask. With great care, Hux’s fingers find the parallel clasps of the helmet and he gently pushes them to lift it away from Kylo’s face, letting his dark hair fall into place before casting the mask aside. As expected, the omega is crying, tears coating his pale cheeks in rivets and his bottom lip trembling as he fails to hold in his sobs.

“Kylo,” Hux says softly, cupping his cheeks and pressing their foreheads together. “I won’t let anyone touch you.

“A-Armitage,” Kylo says in a shuddering breath, and Hux freezes: Kylo never calls him by his first name. Hux had even begun to doubt whether his almost-mate knows his name, but the omega has just uttered it in the most desperate, pleading tone that Hux has ever heard him speak in. “I don’t want to be claimed by anyone but you.”

“You won’t be,” Hux says, lifting Kylo’s head up so that they can meet each other’s gazes. The omega has never looked more lost than he does in this moment, not even when he stepped off of the Night Buzzard and into Hux’s life like a tornado, one that the alpha is glad to have been ruined by.

“But you heard him,” Kylo sniffles. “Three days.”

“That’s plenty of time,” Hux says, wiping away Kylo’s tears with his finger, kissing his cheeks where the droplets were. “Accidents can happen within seconds.”

“Accidents?”

“Indeed,” Hux shrugs, taking off his greatcoat and wrapping it around Kylo’s trembling shoulders, hoping that the omega will be comforted by his scent. “Slipping and falling onto a dagger multiple times, being electrocuted by a high-spec baton. The list could go on.”

Kylo laughs. It’s the most beautiful sight and sound that Hux could wish to witness right now in this seemingly dark moment. The alpha sighs, taking in the overwhelming sadness in the omega’s dark eyes, feeling a fire burning in his own; a hungry fire that will only be satiated by Snoke’s spilt blood.

“I love you, Armitage,” Kylo says softly, placing his hands on top of Hux’s where they still cup his cheeks. It’s the first time that he’s uttered those simple but tremendous, heartfelt words, and Hux doesn’t hesitate in saying them back.

“I love you, Kylo Ren.” Hux swears that he can already feel Kylo’s presence inside of his mind as though there’s a bond in place already, feeling the omega’s intense grief turn to happiness as they lean in to kiss, desperately clinging on to each other in the middle of the empty holochamber.

Both the Supreme Leader and the so-called alpha acolyte will not lay a finger upon Kylo, not as long as Hux still has breath. He swears to the stars that he’ll end them both for coming up with such a malicious plan for Kylo.

Three days to plan, three days to execute.

Hux has never failed yet, he isn’t going to taint his perfect record now.

[translations-by-aiimee]

Mistakenly Saving the Villain - Chapter 3

Original Title: 论救错反派的下场

Genres: Drama, Romance, Xianxia, Yaoi

TW for this chapter: Mentions of slave trafficking

This translation is based on multiple MTLs and my own limited knowledge of Chinese characters. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.

Chapter 3 - Born Without Tears

The red-dressed beauty lightly opened his vermilion lips and blew into the jade flute. The flute sound was full of lingering affection, softly touching his heart, as if he was inviting all listeners to join the red curtain and share the scenery together.

Song Qingshi's mother was an internationally renowned pianist. Because of her influence, music had become Song Qingshi's only hobby outside of school. In the last days of Song Qingshi's life, he had lost all body functions, but his consciousness was extremely clear.

His mother invested heavily in installing top-notch audio equipment in his room to play music everyday. She also asked top musicians in various fields to give him a small concert every day.

Music rescued him from the brink of despair and soothed his heart. During this special time, Song Qingshi was particularly sensitive to the emotions in music. He could hear the player's tenderness in the passionate piano music, and he could also find hidden encouragement in the sad and solemn guzheng music. . .

Now, he heard the familiar struggle and despair in the lingering and affectionate sound of the flute.

Song Qingshi finally raised his head, staring at the brilliant phoenix in a daze. He could no longer look away.

Jin FeiRen found out that Song Qing finally became interested in one of the beauties, and he was overjoyed: "Song Xianzun is interested in this slave? His name is Yue Wuhuan, naturally charming, a rare wood single-spirit root. That means he's much more resistant when tossing him around in bed. The more you rough him up, the more unhinged he comes. Those who have tried it have never failed to boast about it. Do you want to taste him first?"

Song Qingshi's ears were reddened by his explicit recommendation. He quickly turned his eyes away, and said dumbly: "No need."

"Medicine Master Xianzun is clean and does not engage in those activities. If you don't love these things, don't force him, friend." LingBao Xianzun came over, pointing to Yue Wuhuan and exclaimed, "If I remember, was this the best product sold by Xie Que? This immortal world is still the best place for him to raise beautiful people; one is more tasteful than the last. Alas, I have a friend who is his good friend, and all kinds of better goods will be sold to you first."

Jin FeiRen waved his hand and said, "You flatter me. What he really has a good relationship with are thirty hu of mermaid pearls."

LingBao Xianzun laughed: "If all friendships in the world could be created with money, my friend would be surrounded by the most affectionate people in the world. Come, come, let me have three cups with my friend and celebrate the wind and moon together.

Jin FeiRen also laughed, and ordered the young man in his arms to fill a glass of wine and drink with LingBao Xianzun.

LingBao Xianzun had already drunk a lot. He was slightly drunk. He leaned against the table and listened to the flute. He exclaimed: "I remember that when this beauty first entered this place, he was reluctant to accompany guests, even under the control of Acacia Seal. It was very interesting to see, but now he has become so promiscuous, and his flavour has changed. You have great methods, my friend."

Jin FeiRen shook his head: "It's a pity that this beauty doesn't cry no matter how rough you toss him around. He was born without tears, and because of that, some of his appeal has been lost."

Song Qingshi heard the professional question and couldn't help answering: "Being born without tears may be a problem with the lacrimal secretion system."

Jin Fei was dumbfounded for a moment. He appreciated his friendship with Song Qingshi, but he couldn't keep up with his medical obsession. He had to laugh awkwardly and switch off the topic: "Don't look at this beauty's promiscuity deceive you. In the mortal world, he was also a noble and respectable prince. When he was eight years old, Xie Que found that he had excellent aptitude when he was looking for beauties in the mortal world, so he showed his supernatural powers and presented the emperor with a pill for prolonging life. The old emperor was so happy that he happily gave his son to the immortal leader. Xie Que is also an ingenious person. He will seriously accept mortals with spiritual roots as disciples, and coax them to trust him. Then he uses that trust to trick them to sign the spiritual contract of voluntary slavery. He then teaches them superficial techniques, and, when they appear to be at their peak, brands them with the Acacia Seal. He always gets them when the colour is at the best time for picking, and then sells them to the brothels to serve in their rooms.

Although everyone knew he was taking advantage of those loopholes, they all turned a blind eye and eventually accepted this method of slave trafficking."

The Yanshou Pill can only be taken once to extend someone's life to reach 100 years old.

Cultivators can live at least three hundred years so long as they build a good foundation base. They don't need this tasteless kind of thing at all. Most of them are bought for their mortal servants. The price is very cheap, only worth two low-grade spirit stones. Such huge profits have continued to promote the slave trade.

There is an endless stream of cultivators in the trade, but none of them are well-versed as Xie Que.

Song Qingshi was surprised to find in his memory that the original body had seen Xie Que before.

That spring, the original body was studying a new way to create pills behind closed doors. Xie Que came to seek medical treatment with a comatose child. The child was a mortal, about eleven or twelve years old, with a rare pure yang physique and a wood spiritual root. Moreover, when he reached the third rank, his talents were different, and he was even better than some of the wasted descendants of various immortal families. Xie Que said that it was his new apprentice who had recruited more than three years ago. When he went to the mountains to practice, he was bitten by a Devil Mask Snake. Devil Mask Snakes are not extremely poisonous, but they will turn the faces of the poisoned person different colours, just like they were wearing a mask.

The original body typically didn't treat mortals, but Xie cried out in tears, saying that this was his most important apprentice, and he was willing to pay a high price to save him. The original body was in a good mood at the time, and was annoyed by his repeated crying. The Devil Mask Snake poison was also easy to detoxify. He finally relented and ordered a servant to give him two detoxification pills and ordered Xie Que not to cry again.

Xie Que stayed beside the apprentice’s bed and took care of him for three days. The apprentice woke up from a coma, his body no longer in a serious condition, but it took time for the ghost marks on his face to disappear. They stayed in the valley for half a month, and waited until his apprentice's face fully recovered.

During that time, the peach blossoms in the medicine garden bloomed just right, like red brocade all over the sky. When the original body encounters a problem with his alchemy, he often sits in a high place and looks at the peach blossoms and thinks. Every time, the original body would see a small figure under the peach blossom practicing swordsmanship. He practiced in the morning, at noon, and at night, as if it had become a landscape of symbiosis with the peach blossoms.

Mortals trying to cultivate immortality are like a fish leaping over a dragon's gate. The path comes with many difficulties and dangers, and there are few successful ones.

Xie Que was always by his side, with a worried expression on his face. He was either afraid that he would drop his sword or that he would become exhausted. The two quarreled several times. On a whim, the original's body and mind let out a spiritual thought to investigate. He heard the child say to Xie Que: "Master, although mortals are not as good as immortals, my father taught me to reward my diligence, and diligence can make up for my weaknesses. So I have to work harder and never waste time."

"What you said makes sense," Xie Que tried to persuade him with a bitter face. "Your injury has not healed. I'm afraid you might hurt your body. And. . . why do you have to practice sword? Entertaining cultivation, wouldn’t it be better for you to learn some flute, piano or something?"

"Master taught me to use music to cultivate Taoism is very good," the child scratched his head embarrassedly. "But I like swords, I want to be like Mo Yuan Jianzun. Master, rest assured, I know all the songs you taught me. I practiced better than my senior brothers and sisters, and I definitely don't put off practice."

Xie Que had no choice but to say: "I will find you the right ice silk gloves later. You must wear them when you practice swords. You must soak your hands with lotion at night to make your hands soft. This will prevent calluses, so you won't miss the subsequent practice."

The child cheered, excitedly: "Master, you are so kind."

"Don't get hurt," Xie Que lightly knocked on his forehead and complained. "You naughty devil. Your master is terrified. From now on, stay in the sects when you practice, and you are not allowed to go to the back mountains. Take breaks as well to avoid ruining your eyes."

The child accepted all these conditions.

Xie Que leaned over, rubbed his head gently, and sighed: "You don't know how much Master values you. . ."

"I know." The child raised his head and said in a serious voice: "I know that the immortal world looks down on mortals that cultivate immortality, and even looks down on the master who only accepts mortals as disciples. I don't want to shame my master, so I must cultivate a Golden Core to prove to everyone that Master’s vision is right!"

Xie Que looked at his face silently, his eyes distant and difficult to distinguish.

The child pulled Xie Que's sleeves, turned his eyes, and said embarrassedly: "Wuhuan likes Master the most!"

Xie Que stretched out his fingertips, stroked the child's colorful face, looked carefully, and finally stopped reluctantly on the small red mole under his left eye, which was dazzlingly beautiful. He was silent for a long time, showing a very kind smile: "Master also likes you the most."

. . .

[stxleslyds]

EVENT LEVIATHAN issues 2 and 3

EVENT LEVIATHAN BUT IT’S ONLY JASON TODD.

Oh, Anon, I am sorry it took me so long to answer your ask, to be honest with you, I had completely forgotten this book ever happened and when I went looking for it, I saw who was the writer for it and my brain disconnected completely.

Michael Brian Bendis, what a polarizing writer. I had forgotten why I didn’t like his work much but this book made me remember that his writing gives me headaches. I swear, every time I read his work I am left wondering if I missed an issue or a page, it’s like I always lack information even though he makes sure to write a lot in those “monologue boxes”.

But I am not here to complain about Bendis, let’s talk about why Jason appears in this book and how is he characterized in it.

If you don’t know what Event Leviathan was about, in the first issue we are told that a terrorist has been attacking places simultaneously. This person, known as Leviathan collected some of the people that survived the attacks (like Batgirl), and others he let escape (like Green Arrow). All of the attacks were on organizations (A.R.G.U.S, Spyral, D.O) that were the pillars of the world intelligence community.

Because the case is big and operating on a big scale, several detectives and heroes (Batman, Robin, The Question, Lois Lane, Plastic Man, and Manhunter) have come together to figure out who is behind Leviathan’s mask.

In the second issue, their main suspect is Jason Todd after Damian suggests that Jason’s “special war on crime” can be related to this worldwide level of terrorist activity.

Well, If you couldn’t tell by the way that I phrased that, I really believe that DC and Bendis had to do some weird changes to the narratives because Jason hadn’t been really at “war with crime” for a very long time, or at the very least, not on that level (against organizations selling/controlling intelligence). So, right of the bat, I am confused as all hell.

Jason at this point in time was working as the Ice Lunge’s owner, so this was after the events of RHatO (2016) #25 and after Roy Harper’s death. But before I get to explaining why Damian and the others thought that Jason was behind Leviathan’s terrorist attacks, let's talk about Jason’s characterization.

How to write about a character based only on “tropes” that the publisher of the book told you. A Guide by Michael Brian Bendis.

We find Red Hood in Seattle, already investigating Leviathan. So, yeah, to me it was kind of obvious that Bendis put Jason there to build up the reason as to why Jason was the main suspect of being Leviathan or working with them.

We are offered some very casual banter with Batman as well as the ever-present subplot of Jason caring for Barbara Gordon. I am not a fan of whatever DC was and is trying to do when it comes to Jason and his crush on a person that he barely knew and has rejected him before. Bendis was probably told to put that there, I really don’t see Jason going out of his way to ask if Barbara is final but oh well.

In that panel we also see Jason say this to Batman, “can we put away the stuff between us so we can work on the case?” to which Batman answers, “of course”.

What the hell was that? First Batman beats the living shit out of Jason (Jason even says that he never saw Bruce hit the Joker as hard as he was hitting him) and rips the bat-symbol of his suit saying that they no longer work together or whatever, then we have Bruce going to Jason to tell him that Roy is dead, he gives him a hug but then proceeds to tell Jason that he is still banned from Gotham.

DC really reduced all that to “stuff between us”, alright, all I am getting from that is that I was right when I said that DC lets Batman get away with his horrible treatment of his kids as if it just were a subplot. Lovely, I hate being right.

But that’s not really what I want to discuss, I want to discuss the level of detective/investigation skills that Jason has got going on for him in this issue. Suddenly Jason has information about what happens with organizations like Spyral, ARGUS, and DEO? And then Bruce asks Jason if he has been in contact with Talia recently?

I am not mad about those last things, don’t get me wrong, Jason being good at investigating and him being (possibly) in contact with Talia are great things BUT they don’t fit in his story anymore.

Where is this Jason coming from, it must not be from the narrative that Lobdell had going on, Jason never showed much interest in keeping up with that side of the world or in doing detective work. And his relationship with Talia was downgraded a lot, basically, all Talia had done was keep an eye on Jason since she first met him before he was robin (yeah, that was a thing that happened as told in RHatO (2011) #25) and that how she found out that he died, after he came back from the dead, she put him in a Lazarus Pit and then sent him to the All-Castle so he could become Ducra’s apprentice. That’s literally it.

Or are we working with a Jason that maintains his Lost Days origins? There isn’t time on the timeline for that to have happened so his involvement in this book and the way that they are writing him is very confusing to me.

Jason doesn’t say anything about Talia except that he pulls an Uno reverse card on Bruce and asks him if he has been in contact with Talia. But just like many things with Bendis as a writer we never really hear any of them say anything about Talia and they continue talking about something else.

Alright, back to sharing what they found it is! Jason has apparently investigated this very closely because he cannot stop bringing up the fact that the attacks leave no bodies behind. Either people escape or vanish from the attack site.

But here is where the so-awaited “Batfamily” mention comes in. After Bruce tells Jason that he is putting a team of Detectives together Jason asks this, “we can’t keep this in the Batfamily?” Gods, was DC on crack when they wrote this? The Batfamily? Honestly? Two of your best detectives are not around to help you and your so-called family left Dick Grayson all alone in Bludhaven!

What Batfamily are you talking about Jason? You, Bruce, and Damian? I can’t with DC pushing and pushing the wildest concept in their universe.

After all that Batman spends a lot of time explaining what has happened or what was supposed to happen, he talks to Jason about how the other detectives were getting closer to retrieve a body that they needed to study. In between what Batman is explaining the scene of Plastic Man talking with Leviathan happens and there Leviathan says that they know each other. So, that’s a clue, whoever is behind the mask is someone that Plastic Man has met before.

We find out that Batman was retelling that story to Jason, so Jason starts putting the pieces together. Batman already has a team, they know that Leviathan has been spearing some heroes’ lives, there is a cause for all the attacks (“a new world order”), and that the attacks leave no bodies. Jason even begins to put together the list of suspects but then Jason asks Batman if they have their number one suspect and Batman says, “Yes”, and it’s Jason!

This is so funny to me, like what? How did they come to that conclusion? Luckily Bendis “explains” the Detectives’ team’s reasoning, I guess? They take turns to ask Jason basic questions that Jason deflects from some reason? It is so dumb.

From this page the most important thing that I gathered is that Damian (the one who initially accused Jason of being Leviathan) says that he doesn’t “think that you (Jason) know you are doing any of this. I think it manifested itself out of grief”.

What? A terrorist that has some sort of technology that makes explosions that leaves no bodies and spares some people’s lives, is being manifested by Jason because Roy Harper died. Did I understand that correctly? That’s their big idea as to why Jason is their number one suspect?

Team of detectives, yeah, I don’t see it.

It makes zero sense! First of all, what “war with crime” was Jason having at the time, and they also say that that war was “a point of controversy for years”. Excuse me? Are they really calling Jason using guns (with rubber bullets) a SPECIAL war with crime? What are they referring to? Are they talking about the events of Under the Red Hood? Because Jason hasn’t been that version of himself in years! We don’t even know if those exact events happened in this continuity!

I am so lost; I actually don’t know why they are relating a terrorist attack to Jason. I don’t know, to me, Jason’s appearance here is unjustified and lacks logic.

Now, we find ourselves in the third issue, where an unnecessary amount of time jumping is done. First, we are in the present after both Batman and Robin let Jason run away. Listen, I know that they tried to paint it as Jason kicking both their asses but I saw those pages, they threw three punches and one of them connect with Jason’s jaw. Batman and Robin just stopped fighting Jason.

I don’t know, why they had to make Damian say that Batman let Jason get away when he was there too and did nothing.

And then they had Damian say this about Jason, “I have never been a member of his fan club but Jason Todd is one of the great master fighters of all time”. Okay, sure, Jason has had a lot of training and he has been immeasurably overpowered over the years but I still find Damian saying this a bit weird, like why would he say that? The fight that is shown after this look into the present is just like any other fight that any Bat-related hero has had. Dick has had more impressive fights than that one after the New 52 and he was immeasurably nerfed.

I love Jason getting recognition for the things that he does right and that he is good at but I need you to represent those moments better. The fight isn’t that grand and they clearly let him run away!

In the fight there all jumped off of a building, (Jason, Batman, Robin, Manhunter, Arrow, and Plastic Man) Jason shoots at everyone and they have a “fight” midair. Then Batman, Robin, and Jason fall through a glass roof and they continue fighting in a pool, this is where I say that they let Jason ran away, they showed us Damian kicking Jason in the face and Bruce punching Jason in the face. But then Jason electrifies both of them while they are in the pool? Listen, this is very nitpicky but Batman and Robin are wearing proper suits for vigilantism, if their suits aren’t prepared to receive some electric shots then wow, but also, the electricity does nothing to Jason even though he is also in the water? Jason’s Red Hood suit at the time was a pair of pants, a shirt, a vest with a hood, and some bandages on his arms… You are telling me that Jason was wearing a suit that protected him from that? Alright, I will believe it, after all, I am very dumb.

Then Jason fights Manhunter, a simple fight apparently, he doesn’t show much fighting skill because she looked like an easy target and then Jason stops fighting and decides to have a nice chat with Lois Lane.

“Why did you run?” I think he ran because a bunch of people accused him of being a terrorist and threw themselves at him at the edge of a building, what kind of question is that?

This page is just, I cannot describe how confusing it is. Lois finally asks that if it isn’t the Red Hood, then why would Leviathan try to set him up? To that Jason answers this, “I was thinking about that on the way down here. Because I am perfect. All this should be me” then he explains “I lose sleep running the numbers in my head, on how measured response to the criminals of the world brings nothing but more chaos. Batman knows this. If this Leviathan is making a big play to change the world, maybe it is the move the “crime-fighters” just don’t, will never have the guts to take. Maybe.”

What. Is. Going. On? Where did this version of Jason come from, this isn’t really in tune with UtRH Jason, RHatO Jason, or RHO Jason. This take on Jason is completely different, Jason doesn’t involve himself with threats on a worldwide scale, he doesn’t care how all heroes around the world operate, and he is not the only one that does things differently from Batman and other heroes that have similar morals.

What is this Jason saying really, is he suggesting that a global terrorist attack can lead to the reconstruction of how heroes work?

Why does Jason think that what Leviathan has going on is similar to things that Jason has done? What did Bendis read that I didn’t? How did Bendis come up with this characterization of Jason?

Because even though RHatO and RHO Jason went beyond Gotham he still fought for things that were directly aligned with his story, Ra’s al Ghul, the Untitled, Essence, all of that wasn’t on a global scale, why is he so suddenly aware of more than that, I just don’t think that his participation in this book is justified.

In these other panels he also comes off as way too aware of what is going on, and I understand that to a certain level all heroes might keep up with what going on a global scale but it seems like Jason knows way too much for someone that hasn’t been connected to those organizations and or people before.

Jason appears a little more after that but nothing of true importance is said anymore in this issue. After, Lois finishes her talk with Jason she reunites with the rest of the team and is like “It wasn’t Red Hood, let’s move on” and that’s that.

That was all Jason did in those two issues. A mix between nothing, knowing too much and him speculating about what a terrorist would want to do next.

Before I give my last thoughts about Jason and these issues, I want to share with you these panels from issue 5 of Event Leviathan.

There, Zatanna and the others confirmed it. Even though Lois listed the Red Hood as a suspect the other detectives told her that not only none of their suspects were Leviathan but that none of them were Leviathan adjacent.

OF COURSE, JASON HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH LEVIATHAN!

Here is what I think, Jason shouldn’t have been in this book, it makes less than zero sense for him to be there. Jason being set up by Leviathan had no logic whatsoever. Jason and Leviathan’s levels of “disruption” are on completely different levels.

I just don’t know why he was there.

Anon, once again I am sorry for taking so long to do this review, I hope you had fun reading this, and I hope that you have an awesome day!