Tumgik
#but it feels nice to have it working on my brain already
the-witty-pen-name · 12 hours
Text
Meddling Mr. Munson
Eddie Munson x F!Reader
Word Count: 1.7k
Summary: Wayne is your favorite regular at work. Plus- his nephew is really cute.
Warnings: fluff, so much fluff and good feels you’ll get a toothache, allusions to pregnancy, alcohol mentioned, mentions of bullying
Tumblr media
The first time you meet Wayne Munson, you’re eight hours into your six hour shift at the only diner in Hawkins that's open twenty-four hours. You’re working the overnight shift, and you were supposed to be relieved at 4:00am, but the waitress who was supposed to relieve you called from a payphone to tell you her bus broke down and she can’t get to work until the replacement arrives. So now, you’re brewing a fresh pot of coffee for the only patron you’ve had before the breakfast rush- which hopefully you’ll be missing.
You chit chat with Mr. Munson while he sits at the counter nursing his black coffee. He works overnight at the plant you’ve learned, and he asks you questions about your college classes. He doesn’t admit it, because he’s not the type, but he really enjoys the daily chats with you as stopping at the diner after work becomes one of his routines.
“You should come meet me for breakfast on your way to school,” Wayne suggests one night when he and Eddie are watching TV. His suggestion is met with Eddie blowing a raspberry and a grumble about not wanting to wake up that early. Wayne tosses his hat at Eddie, harmlessly making Eddie jump. “I ain’t asking,” Wayne reiterates and Eddie nods sheepishly, sinking into the couch.
Your eyes light up when you hear the bell on the front door. You already know it’s one of your favorite regulars before you even look up. “‘Morning, Mr. Munson,” you say cheerfully, “Take a seat, I just put on a fresh pot.” You look up and you’re surprised to see he isn’t alone. “Oh, hi Eddie,” you say with a grin, surprised to see Wayne isn’t alone. Eddie’s brain short circuits because he doesn’t know how you even know him, and you are very pretty.
You step out from behind the counter with two mugs in hand as they slide into a booth. “You don’t remember me,” you tease, filling both the mugs with coffee. Eddie fumbles over his words apologetically and Wayne smirks to himself. “That’s okay, we weren’t really friends,” you explain and tell him your name, “You sat in front of me last year in Ms.O’Donnell’s class. We didn’t really talk much.” He’s silently thanking you for omitting that you didn’t talk because he was hardly there. However, he’s practically soaring that despite that you somehow remembered him and aren’t recoiling in disgust.
“Eddie’s got her again this year,” Wayne interjects and Eddie wants to roll under the booth. He’s suddenly embarrassed that he’s repeating senior year again and he wished you didn’t know that. Wayne means nothing by it, literally just making conversation, and the news Eddie is in her class doesn’t seem to even phase you.
“She’s brutal,” you exhale, “If you want, I think I still have my notes somewhere. They’re all yours.”
“T-that’d be great,” he manages to get out. You smile at him and his limbs feel like clay.
“Yeah, of course,” you wave it off like it’s nothing. “I’ll come back in a few and grab your orders, take your time.”
Wayne is using his menu to hide his grin from Eddie. He didn’t know if Eddie and you would hit it off, he just had hopes. He’s not one to meddle, especially in his nephew’s love life, but when you had told Wayne you didn’t have a boyfriend, he immediately wanted to introduce you to Eddie. He knew Eddie would just reject the idea, so he didn’t say anything.
“She’s cute,” Wayne says after a minute when you disappear behind the door to the kitchen.
“God, cut it out,” Eddie exclaims, dramatically covering his face with his hands. His face is bright red. This seriously can not be happening right now. “Wayne, seriously, you are not seriously trying to set me up right now?”
“I’m just trying to treat my nephew to breakfast, I thought it would be nice. We haven’t done this in a while,” he says evenly, but Eddie knows the truth. “I think I’m gonna get the meat lover’s omelet,” he muses, acting oblivious to Eddie’s antics.
Eddie’s nervous bouncing of his leg is making the booth shake, and the coffee spills out over the rim of the mugs ever so slightly. Wayne slides over extra napkins, and chastises Eddie about leaving rings on the table.
“Are you all set?” You ask, getting your notepad out of the front pocket of your apron. Wayne nods and Eddie is staring blankly at the menu in front of him, paralyzed.
“The pancakes are really good if you’re still trying to decide,” you offer, thinking Eddie is actually reading the menu.
“U-uh yeah, that sounds good,” he replies. You nod and scribble it down on your pad.
“Your usual Wayne?” You ask and he nods.
“You’re the best,” he smiles, passing you the menus.
“It’ll be right out,” you reply, “Do you want me to top these off?” Wayne offers you his empty cup and Eddie manages to shake his head no. You disappear behind the doors again to ring in the order, and Wayne nudges Eddie to snap out of it.
“You’re being rude,” he says, “Look I get it, I’ll stay out of it. But you don’t have to freeze her out. She’s being lovely.”
Of course you’re being lovely, Eddie screams internally. You are lovely! He can’t bring himself to correct his uncle that he’s not ignoring you to spite him, but he’s actually tongue tied and completely fumbling. He can’t give Wayne the satisfaction of being right and he also doesn’t want to say anything out loud in utter fear you’d hear him.
“Food should be right out,” you say with a sweet smile. You walk over to the opposite side of the diner and wipe down a few of the empty booths. Eddie flexes his fingers over his thighs repeatedly to try to relax. Wayne watches Eddie, starting to notice he’s a lot more twitchy than he usually is. Eddie’s always animated but this is new. Maybe, Wayne muses, his little plan might actually be working.
Wayne really only ever wants Eddie to be happy. He’s had a front row seat to the abuse Eddie has received from his peers his whole life. Under the tattoos and the hair and the ripped jeans, Wayne still sees the little boy he tucked into bed and the little boy who sat on the kitchen counter while he helped clean his scraped knees. He wished the pain he had to help Eddie navigate was still that simple. Wayne thought maybe you’d see Eddie the way he did.
You’re nice, and genuinely so. Wayne thought if anyone could see Eddie, truly see him for the amazing kid he was, it would be you. Even if this whole stupid plan of his amounted to nothing more, you’re treating Eddie with such a normal level of human decency and you have no idea how much that means to the both of them. For Wayne, that’s more than he could ever ask for. He knows as much as he’s resisting, Eddie will leave here and go to school feeling a little bit better. For a brief moment in an empty diner, he can see the world isn’t always out to get him. Sometimes, the world is nice- with pretty girls to talk to and uncles who love you more than life itself.
When you bring out the food, Wayne watches the way your eyes linger on Eddie. You’re also being a little shy. He smiles to himself, keeping his head low while he starts to dig into his food. You ask Eddie about his band, and Wayne watches his nephew’s eyes light up, his usual confidence returning to the forefront as he tells you all about Corroded Coffin. You listen, and Wayne realizes you’re not just placating Eddie, you actually care.
“I’ll have to come to another show sometime,” you say, “I say you guys at The Hideout like a couple months ago actually.”
“Really?” Eddie’s eyes widen in disbelief. You giggle, and nod.
“Yup, you guys were awesome,” you assure him. “If you guys ever sell a tape, let me know. I want one.”
As they finish up their breakfast, you drop off the check, and Eddie thinks he might die when he sees you’ve scribbled your number on the receipt for him. The check has been comped and the note read:
“Wayne, Happy to treat my favorite customer! Eddie, in case you’d want to go out sometime? No pressure.” With your number underneath.
The most recent time you saw Wayne Munson, he pulled you into a hug and thanked you for inviting him over. It’s the first time you and Eddie are hosting a holiday in your new apartment.
He smiles as he looks around. You and Eddie have really done an amazing job making a cozy little life together. He smells the turkey finishing up in the oven and he can’t believe he can finally witness his nephew this happy. The two of you insist he sit in the living room while you both finish cooking for him. He’s enjoying watching the two of you work in the kitchen together, moving synchronously like you’ve done this dance a million times before- and you have.
He settles in and Eddie brings him a beer. Wayne looks around at Eddie’s and your new home and he can’t help but beam with pride. This is all he could’ve asked for Eddie- all he’s ever wanted to see him have. Eddie’s still as dopey grinned and smitten as he was the first day back at the diner. Wayne knows you’re the one- he knew before you or Eddie knew.
Eddie’s his son, even if he’ll never be called Dad. He doesn’t want that anyways. But, he knows your the best daughter-in-law he could have ever asked for. A best friend and a confidant from the first day he met you. He’s so glad to have you both together in his life. Little did he know, that tonight after dinner when he’s long past just full- but not too full for pie- Eddie would hold your hand and you’d both sit across from him, giving him the best news he could possibly hear in this lifetime.
His small trio, will shortly be adding a fourth band member.
162 notes · View notes
m-artsoul · 2 days
Text
Tumblr media
22/09/24
PDA (for my unfinished fic)
hiii I'm back with another (it's the third one already lol) illustration for my tskym story. still unfinished/unpublished, but you know... anyway, here's an excerpt:
Their first kiss in public happened at a farewell dinner, after their upperclassmen retrieved their graduation papers and shed the last tears in the gym they had played in for three years. The restaurant was buzzing with the laughter and chatter of twelve teenage volleyball players, their managers and their coaches. The wide smiles on their tear-streaked faces made Kei's inside feel warm. Still, his focus was on rilling up his fellow first (technically pretty much second) years.
He took a bite of his food, sneaking a glance at Tadashi. Tadashi, who was already looking at him. His gaze was soft, a smile turning his eyes into half-moons. He was propping his head on his knuckles, as if he was watching his favorite show.
“What?” inquired Kei, pulling down his eyebrows.
Something gleamed in those brown eyes. Tadashi looked around before grabbing a menu from the table and unfolding it. Kei opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, Tadashi's face was right in front of his. Soft lips pressed against his ones, sending an electric shock across his spine. The menu was hiding them from the prying eyes and yet, he thought his heart was about to explode.
Almost as soon as the kiss started, it ended. Tadashi went back to his meal like nothing ever happened. Kei's brain was working overtime trying to reboot.
“You look a bit fried there, Tsukishima,” commented Kageyama, entirely too pleased with the situation.
“Uwah! His face is so red!” added Hinata.
Frankly, Kei didn't have the mental power to think of anything clever. His lips were still prickly. His head felt both too full and too empty to form coherent sentences.
“Uh-huh,” he said, ever so eloquently.
The table roared with laughter. Teasing comments flew around the room, their senpais delighted to see him reduced to speechlessness. Kei didn't mind them. Honestly, he didn't care about much at that moment. He could see Tadashi's slightly trembling hands and his cheeky smile was accompanied with a nice dark color flooding his freckled cheeks and he found himself focusing on that completely.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
117 notes · View notes
nocturnowlette · 3 days
Note
What's your take on/advice to subjects with aphantasia? I'm very new to hypnosis and find myself struggling a lot with visualizations, given that isn't really something I'm capable of.
Aphantasia does not make hypnosis even the slightest bit less effective, or the difference is minimal at best.
A very important part of perception that you and many others would benefit from knowing is the effects of expectations and the systems we create for ourselves.
This most commonly happens with folks that struggle with productivity, like critters with ADHD. I am one such being.
I would, in the past, constantly try to create systems of incentives for myself that made things worse because what I was ultimately doing was creating a win state that didn't feel good and an arbitrarily set loss state that made me feel terrible.
Example:
If I work for 20 minutes and then take a break for 10, it didn't feel good to work for those 20 minutes successfully, but if I wasn't able to go back to working immediately after the 10 minute break, I failed and my shame response would compound my inability to work and would shut down my ability to do anything for hours.
What you are doing as a subject in this case is taking the concept of aphantasia and the word "visualization" and creating the idea that you need to actually visualize in order for it to work. You should treat it like you would descriptive writing in a novel. You don't need to visualize a setting in a novel to understand it.
If I say there's a neon sign hanging above a bar at night with the name "The Bottlecap", you are able to understand and conceptualize it without seeing it.
The point of visualizations is to compartmentalize something in your brain. We do this all the time and without visuals whatsoever, even giving a name to something like "stress" compartmentalizes it from other feelings. Visualizations in hypnosis link and isolate specific parts of the brain so they can be "narratively" affected and affect your perception as a result.
If I tell you to focus on these words that you've been reading for a long time already, and focus, and focus more, and then to use that focus to conceptualize a bubble representing your thoughts, then your brain has done that no matter the visualization.
You can conceptualize that it is slightly purple-ish, that it is translucent, and even without seeing it, each dedication to detail makes you focus on that concept more. This bubble represents your thoughts. And so, if I were to gently bring a claw up to its surface, I could easily make it...
Pop!
...that's the idea anyhow. Try to be aware of the systems you create in your head, and to realize when one is more harmful than helpful.
Have a nice day.
57 notes · View notes
purity-town · 1 day
Text
Ask responses below the cut! Lots of thoughts on Terraria lore and Purity Town worldbuilding -- mostly focusing on the Crimson, the war, and Guides.
Tumblr media
Reasons why I chose Corruption over Crimson, off the top of my head:
Artistic reasons: Chris was always going to lean towards magenta & dark blue weapons/armor where possible as a nod to the nebula pillar coloration, and I felt that it was easier to work with those colors against a purple/gray/brown background than a red one. Similarly, the purple of demonite matches the Corruption colors, making it easy to tie a visual connection between demonite and the shadow orbs' evil energy.
Personal reasons: My first world was a Corruption one, and I tend to favor Corruption in general as I like the music more.
Practical reasons: It's much, much easier to draw worms and the various other Corruption enemies than it is to draw the Crimson enemies, as the Crimson enemies are far more complicated in appearance and poses. Plus all the blood and brains puts me in an awkward spot as I don't want to run into issues with any of the websites I post the comic to.
Lore reasons: While the Brain of Cthulhu does very nicely match up with Moon Lord's actual design, it doesn't have a Mech boss associated with it, and I didn't want the Destroyer to feel like it came out of nowhere; I felt it was easier to justify the EoW being related to evil/Moon Lord in some way than the Destroyer existing in a Crimson world. The Corruption's shadow orbs also naturally tie into the idea of the "ancient spirits of light and dark" being released from the underworld, as the Crimson doesn't really convey the "dark" side of things that well. Also, the Crimson is generally associated with health while the Corruption is associated with mana, and since Chris is a mage I wanted to lean into the magic side of things.
As for my ideas with the Crimson:
Theme-wise, the blood and gore is easy to relate back to the same consuming, flesh-melding energy of blood moons. (While blood moons already have a link to Corruption/Crimson in the form of corrupt/vicious animals, the Crimson just makes more sense.) The massive skeletons in the background bring up similarities with bone serpents and wyverns/phantasm dragon, and the eyeballs with the EoC/WoF/True EoC.
Where the Corruption is more of the culmination of sin and dark thoughts and eldritch energies that twist whatever they come into contact with, the Crimson is a growing, living being that spiraled into wild mutation from eldritch energy. The Corruption naturally grows over time through additional sins giving it the power to spread, while the Crimson grows by actively consuming more and more living material; contamination vs. infection; acidic vs. corrosive.
The Crimson is a hive mind, of the sort where each new mind adds its knowledge and input to the collective, and likewise has its will overridden by the majority. At the core of it all is the Brain of Cthulhu -- intelligent, but not something that can be reasoned with or spoken to; the sort of being whose mind is so fundamentally different from a human's that anyone who comes into contact would be left mentally shattered. Much the same way one who stares into the darkness seeking to study the eldritch and bizarre could be left broken.
Where the Corruption chasms are worm tracks, I've always interpreted the Crimson chasms as a heart and the arteries spreading out from it. Or maybe the tendrils of a spreading infection? Not really sure!
Side note, the general theme (flesh/blood) and many of the monsters (face monster, crimera, blood feeder, etc.) also tie very well into the Wall of Flesh and its hunger. The justification for the WoF being so...flesh in the comic is that Andrew is a human*, and so the WoF's form is influenced by what his soul knows (flesh and blood body), mixed with lots and lots of eldritch energy giving it the visual ties to the EoC/Moon Lord in the eyes/mouth. But it's not as natural of a link as "the WoF's form is steeped in overflowing Crimson energy locked away in the center of the earth."
Tumblr media
Instead of shattering, I imagine it would just poof into a particularly liquid-looking red smoke. Something to combine it being an immaterial/magical collection of energy with it being bloody and gory. Less of the sharp/shattered/sparkly look of shadow orbs, and something more organic and primal.
As for Crimson hearts...I suppose it's the other side of the coin of shadow orbs. Keeping with the theme of Crimson being vaguely health/damage-related while Corruption is mana-related, where shadow orbs are pustules of evil and eldritch magic, I could imagine Crimson hearts as concentrations of the life energy that's been consumed by/generated within the Crimson. Something that pulses with the hearts and minds of the countless creatures that have been incorporated into the Crimson before. Hence the panic necklace; something that fills you with adrenaline and the vitality to push forward and run for your life when hurting (compared to the band of starpower boosting your ability to channel magic).
Tumblr media
BAD. Really, really, really bad.
The most obvious reason was all of the general destruction that the world had suffered at that point. Land masses ripped apart or twisted/distorted. Civilization shredded, infrastructure destroyed. What wasn't outright blasted to bits was warped beyond recognition or so corrupted there was no hope of salvaging what had been there before. Loss of homes means exposure to the elements, and loss of farmland means starvation; many societies crumbled or were staggered by the loss of vital industries and resources.
The main surviving communities were small subsets of what were once larger cultures. They were the ones lucky enough to have enough resources nearby to be self-sustaining -- cities had it the worst, requiring resources to be brought in from elsewhere, while more remote communities tended to be affected the least. Andrew, for instance, grew up in a very small community out on the plains, and while they did have contact with other communities, trade was limited to only specialty goods. Everything else came from the local area.
On top of the physical loss of land and infrastructure, there was also the loss of knowledge. The people who stood up to fight were the most powerful mages and strongest warriors, trying to hold back the destruction and stop the eldritch power contaminating the world; when they died, their knowledge of the world died with them. Similarly, Dryads were far more common back then, with people relying on them to interpret the weather, bless the crops, protect them from harm, and purify any imbalance of good and evil. So even the folks who did survive had to suddenly adjust to having no Dryads to fall back on.
Then, just when they thought the worst of it was over -- that their world had ended and was something new and scary, but stable -- the first Blood Moon rises and everything goes to Hell in a hand-basket once more (albeit only for a night). So now, rather than the night being a time for mages to practice their craft, the inherent chaos of the dark is now dialed up 1000% (even moreso during blood moons). Hence the push for some folks to try and find solace beneath the earth -- building the underground cabins, establishing the Dungeon, and the Lihzahrds locking themselves within a temple away from the sky.
The world was finally given a chance to breathe again once most of the eldritch magic, and in equal measure the divine hallow, was locked away in the core of the world. But by that point the old world was already a distant memory. It's been 500 years since the war, around 450 since most magic was locked away, and what did remain from before the war gave the world a significant boost in recovery. Old magic items and technology can be studied and recreated, and while technological/magical advancement is a bit uneven from region to region depending on their level of development and general population, the Guides have worked hard sharing everything they know between them to rebuild.
Tumblr media
Purity Town, and the smaller villages immediately surrounding it (in the desert, snowy mountains, etc.) has such a low population/is so remote that they don't have much in the way of established governance. Various NPCs arguably have varying levels of authority within their specialization: Heather is the go-to for healing, Malik is the local monster hunter, and so on, but it's all very informal. The individual villages probably all have people who handle day-to-day things -- there are various random folks who live in the region to fill out each village outside of the established NPCs -- but it's just something going on in the background to keep the place running.
Guides aren't really meant to be politicians either, but they do often fall into a default leadership role since they're the go-to advice guys!
They're meant to preserve and share knowledge of the world, its languages, and its cultures; a reaction to the vast majority of that knowledge having been lost in the wake of the war 500 years ago. So Guides are out there fielding questions like "how do I make this medicine/when do I harvest this plant/is this edible/etc.," but they also are expected to know enough about situations like weather/celestial events such that they can give advice no matter what crops up. Extend that attitude to a more general "this person knows how to handle Problems, so let's default to whatever they tell us whenever we run into Problems," and you end up with Guides often taking pseudo-leadership or advisory positions.
Andrew is in something of a weird spot, as he took over for a much more established/respected Guide after she retired and threw him into it, and is not particularly good at commanding authority or dealing with people in the way she could, even though he tries to be nice. But he's extremely, extremely knowledgeable, even compared to other Guides due to having been around for long enough to pick up so much knowledge, so at least he can fulfill that aspect of the job easily enough and the townsfolk trust him to do so.
Tangentially related, but the lack of solid governance is specific/unique to Purity Town's remoteness. With a small enough population, folks rely on the cooperation and skills of others much more, and any disputes would be worked out among the townsfolk proper.
The world isn't fully settled, but there are some locations with enough of a population to be considered actual kingdoms (see: Princess NPC) with established government (see: Tax Collector). Chris' hometown, which sees a lot of ship traffic/trade, has a proper government, local guard, etc. along with their own Guide. Purity Town is just particularly out there! But it's still been around for long enough to have seen some trade, built up some skills among the residents, and establish basic infrastructure so that residents can live comfortably. Like comparing a small town in the modern day to a remote village in medieval times, residents still enjoy a relatively high standard of living, despite being a scattered and remote population.
The world hasn't recovered to where it was pre-Moon Lord, but it's certainly not a post-apocalyptic wasteland anymore!
24 notes · View notes
tama-gucci · 2 years
Text
feeling too depressed to lift weights which means I have to force myself to lift weights to fight the depression that is making me too depressed to lift weights
1 note · View note
bizarrelittlemew · 11 months
Text
Tumblr media
calling it right now that season 3 starts like this
2K notes · View notes
natelia-aldelliz · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
1 : Soap never had any idea that woman wanted him carnally, he's not the most observant on that front (he never noticed Ghost flirting with him and thought his love was one-sided for the longest time, but tbf Ghost was also very discreet about it)
2 : He sewed the hat, eyepatch and hook himself, because he's the best uncle and then got distracted as he was wrapping it up, so now he's watching a tutorial on youtube about how to build a voice box. Honestly how hard could it be, he builds explosive devices as a hobby (listen, Price doesn't have to know)
3 : He is out to his family, but doesn't want his mum to know he has a boyfriend because he knows she'll insist on meeting him and welcoming him to the family and making a big deal out of this, and he knows that Ghost isn't ready for that.
4 : Christmas is obviously a very hard time for Ghost, but he is very very in love with Soap and some days still can't believe that it's mutual, but then his Johnny does something like that and his head gets quieter while he's melting a bit.
5 : For the people that didn't see my other post : the bird is a Caique parrot, and they're supposedly very energetic, a bit loud, medium sized, unintelligible, very friendly to what they consider their family, adventurous and danger prone, with an explosive personality and a hate of boredom, so basically the adhd bird.
2K notes · View notes
obsob · 1 year
Text
mmgngm i was all excited tellin my mum abt me wanting to start bookbinding n she was just like well. what about your portfolio. are u sending it to people? youve been working on it for ages. yes i know!!!!!! im slow and disabled!!!! and want hobbies!!!!! bites you!!!!!!!!!!!
217 notes · View notes
candyriku · 4 months
Text
I unfortunately find myself unable to work on my current Soriku fic today due to my mental state, but I was able to make a bit of a teaser for the next big Soriku fanfiction that will be coming sometime after JTSYS is finished.
You can read it under the cut, but TW for blood, death, and uh, general misery. This has been cathartic for me to write but the whole idea of this fic is that things are impossibly doomed, so be warned - this is not the happy fun zone.
Blood. There was so much blood.
He had smelled it before even seeing it, the metallic scent thick in his nose before he had even rounded the corner. He had tried to convince himself that it was his own bleeding wound that he smelled, or maybe the blood of something else, someone else, but in his heart, he knew the truth. He picked up his pace, sprinting at top speed now, his sneakers splashing through shallow puddles on the wet pavement. 
When his eyes finally came to rest on the crumpled form at the end of the alley, the breath was knocked out of his chest as though someone had taken a baseball bat to his sternum. He knew, of course he knew, but he had hoped-
No. It didn’t matter what he hoped for. Hopes and wishes weren’t for people that walked his path. He had been denied the right to hope for anything ages ago. When he had signed that contract, signed away his soul, he forfeited all the cushy pleasures of a normal life. He had given up his chance of knowing peace.
But it had been worth it. If it was for Sora, anything was worth it.
Standing over Sora’s blood-soaked body, Riku tried to remind himself of that truth, the one thing that he had tethered his heart to all this time. It was worth it. Even if the chance of Sora making it out alive were next to none, there was still a chance. He could still fight.
One of these loops, Riku would get it right. He would figure out how to keep Sora safe, how to protect him from this accursed dimension where everything was designed to end his life. They would break out and live a normal life together, just the way they had always planned. 
There was a happy future waiting somewhere for the two of them. There had to be. Riku had gambled everything on it.
He crouched down, his shaking fingers gently brushing Sora’s tear-stained cheek. He could hardly stand to look at his face, but the sight of his broken, bleeding body was no better. The wounds were precise and lethal, and Riku was far too late.
No matter how many dozens of times he had watched Sora die, it never got easier. It never stopped feeling like his chest was a black hole caving in on itself, his heart squeezed until it was nothing more than dust. 
He couldn’t look. He couldn't look away.
Riku kneeled and placed both of Sora’s hands over his heart. He was about to speak and begin the incantation that would throw them both back to the starting point again, but Sora suddenly stirred, weakly reaching one hand up towards Riku’s face.
“Riku…” his voice was barely more than a whisper. 
“I’m here,” Riku said, the words catching in his throat. “Don’t speak. You can rest now. It’s okay.”
He hated to say it. He wanted to plead with Sora, wanted to beg him to stay. But if Riku had learned anything throughout the loops, it was that nothing came of begging. There was no one to answer his prayers; benevolent forces did not dwell here. At best, all it would accomplish would be making Sora sad in his final moments. At worst, future loops would be impacted by Riku’s words to Sora, twisting the knife further. He had seen it enough to know what to avoid now.
“I don’t want…” There was a weighted pause. “...Don’t want to leave you.” The pool of blood continued to grow. Riku knew - though he wished that he didn’t - that Sora wouldn’t be able to maintain consciousness for much longer at this rate. He could hardly believe Sora was awake even now. 
“We’ll meet again.” he assured Sora softly, trying to keep his voice steady. “Don’t worry. It'll be okay.” 
“You…” This pause was longer, much longer, and Riku was all but sure that Sora would not speak again. Finally, with a wet cough, Sora continued. “You promise?”
“I promise.” Riku lied. He leaned forward and kissed Sora’s forehead, his lips lingering there for several long moments as he took steadying breaths. 
“Mm… ‘kay.” Sora managed. “Love you… so much.” 
“I love you too.” Riku said, clenching his teeth so hard his jaw popped. He wanted to scream. After taking a moment to compose himself, he sat up and offered his best imitation of a smile to Sora. Better for him to see that than to see how broken Riku really was. 
The all-too-familiar faraway look settled on Sora’s face as the last of his breath left his body. Riku collapsed over him, the tears finally coming, the weight hitting him all at once with the force of a tidal wave. Even knowing that he would see Sora alive and well again in mere moments did nothing to comfort him. 
It didn't matter how many times Riku had seen it. It never got any easier to watch Sora die.
#here's some doomed soriku angst :)#when I do finally post this on ao3 i will very likely post it under a pseud so that people that want happy can very easily avoid it#i've just been in a bad place because I can't write and I feel bad that I can't write but feeling bad makes it impossible to write. so#I was like “lets just write that depressing stuff since my head is already there” and it actually kind of worked out which was nice.#this came from me workshopping my guardian angel au but i now think that's an entirely separate fic at this point. not sure yet.#anyways this is not like the 1st chapter or anything and idk if the final version will be anything like this or have a lot of changes but#this is like a sneak peek into what I'm working on lol. here is what it's gonna be like. i hope someone vibes with angsty soriku and dying.#soriku#soriku fic#blood#tw blood#tw death#honestly though. can i ramble for a sec. i've been wracking my brain trying to make my guardian angel au work for MONTHS#and now that i finally have working ideas for a plot/conflict/story beats it's moved so far away from that original concept that its like#basically an entirely different fic now. a guardian angel doesnt even make sense for this story now.#so if i ever do write a guardian angel au fic it will be separate from this and different lol. i really want to make it work though!!#I might end up going with the whole mcr lyric theme for this fic even though that was specifically for the au. bc it fits here#anyways biblically accurate Riku will exist at some point. I promise i will write it. it just might not be in this. (unless?)#pwft
13 notes · View notes
hella1975 · 2 years
Text
i told my mum about my date on sunday (bc it's now very much on sunday and im going to his HOUSE where he's cooking me DINNER if i see even a single candle im gonna make a break for it) and she's literally fucking ecstatic she thinks it's the funniest thing ever my favourite comments include:
every variation of 'please be nice'
'you're going to eat him alive'
'are you wearing that?' (i am in my pyjamas)
(upon finding out he's half american) 'that's not his fault. he cant help it'
'i cant wait to tell your sister so i can beat her with it'
'so you have a guy at home and a guy at uni now?' (STRAWBERRY GUY I AM CHEATING ON YOU LOOK AWAY 😭)
'i stayed the night at his-' 'I DO NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT'
'wear those boots with your skirt you always look so nice in that!' 'but i'll have to shave my legs :(' '*the most disappointed expression you've ever seen*'
'i hope he sees the more sensitive side of you that you dig out like. once a year'
90 notes · View notes
toytulini · 10 months
Text
terfs go climb into a hole and start rotting. animals cannot inherently tell your "biological sex" you are all so fucking stupid. All this post is saying is that animals are not infallible judges of character and some of them make really stupid vibe checks and that people should try not to take it personally. Unless youre a terf in which case they know and they hate you and you should take it personally
re that one post tbh i do want to stress i dont think animals are like magically psychic at knowing your True Gender tbh i think ppl definitely get way too weird about Animal's judgement of ppl.
Sometimes a dog will vibe check a man and the dog will be right and you should listen. but sometimes the dog will vibe check someone for no good reason. sometimes dogs have wack judgement. sometimes dogs have biases influenced by their owners or previous owners. like. there are Racist Dogs. its not the dogs fault, but that doesnt make the bias theyve developed less real, or less potentially hurtful. i dont think we need to like, Cancel Dogs Bc Sometimes Ppl Can Train Them To Be Racist, but we do need to stop perpetuating the idea that a dog's judgement of someone is infallible. theyre not responsible for it and its not their fault its developed, theyre just dogs, they didnt choose it, but that doesnt mean theyre RIGHT lmao. i think its important to stress this for many reasons but in regard to that last post specifically, if youve ever been vibe checked as a gender you arent by a judgy dog its literally not your fault. might not even be the owners fault. not the dogs fault cos like. its a fucking dog. you do kinda have to be the bigger person in that scenario cos the other person is. A Dog.
#toy txt post#this was meant to be a quick post it got a bit longer and more in depth than i planned oops#i just hate when ppl act like All Dogs have Inherently Correct Judgement Of People#like from every angle. its funny to joke about but i know theres ppl out there who might be feeling like#very fragile in their gender or smth and seeing a post like that if they meet a dog that normally hates men but not women but it doesnt#recognize your inherent true gender im sure seeing shit like that post can be a horr#got interrupted by a phone call while typing it and the post is glitching so i cant see where that tag is cut off so uh#dogs are like ppl in that they can develop biases and have bad judgement and they dont always get it right#they are not like ppl in that it is not possible to ask a dog to examine its biases. you cannot make a dog take a class on#critical race theory. you have to work to socialize and desensitize them against those biases or at least make sure those biases theyve#developed dont negatively impact ppl. in this sense i guess im morally obligated to try to learn more spanish to see if it helps my dog#chill. shes nervous around all new ppl but parents have anecdotally noted she extra dislikes men speaking in spanish. she was a stray so we#dont really know her history. she also does Not like fire pokers outside. weirdly even tho its basically the same tool she is unfazed by#the indoor poker for the woodstove? but ig she wouldve had less exposure to indoor woodstoves as a stray in Louisiana?#but i can see like ppl having a little backyard barbecue and threatening the big mastiff looking stray dog with a fire poker and i think#that region of the country prolly has a higher number of spanish speaking ppl than our current residence so the odds of her running into a#spanish speaking guy who isnt very nice are prolly higher just due to a denser population as a whole. and we think shes part mastiff which#i think is a breed already prone to disliking strangers that probably cooked up into a little cocktail in her brain#luckily shes bad enough with All Strangers that i think honestly it would be hard to even notice her bias? but. ig i need to see if i can#desensitize her? idk. sighs but im scared to open duolingo now 😭. but i could maybe do it. when other ppl wear hats she fucking hates it#i wear a fucking face covering mask that looks like a giant eyeball she looks at me a little quizzically but is fine. jester hat? fine#i am like that video of the person desensitizing that horse except thats just like. living w me. minus the cat thing. id never do that to#the cats or dog. everyone would hate that. squirrel already cant tolerate being held while a dog is out cos he THINKS im going to do that.#it would traumatize the dog cos he'd injure me escaping and then prolly her trying to scare her off to get past her and shes just minding#her business. solo i cant hold that long but is less likely to injure anyone. shadow. first of all all 3 are way too heavy to be holding#like that#im getting lost in the tags again sorry im chewing caffeinated gum. i should go try to buy some catnip#ive made my Phone Calls. im gonna try to go get dressed and buy various catnip products. maybe lure him with a toy this time. need my#parents to help me but not be so visibly Ready to help me next time cos i do not want to chase his ass again...
9 notes · View notes
raksh-writes · 1 month
Text
Oh to write a line that is such an emotional punch to the gut you have to take a break and maybe even go on a walk, like oof
#Raksh's writing ramblings#it took a lot of tweaks and a lot of time just sitting there staring at the paragraph but damn does it hit now#Im actually kinda shocked how well it works#and since its so hot and humid and absolutely godamn awful today that my brain feels like mush#this might be a good point to leave it on today and pick back up on tomorrow#kinda sucks Im only able to get around 600 words a day#But after almost a year of writer's block I'll take it with open arms#(my thesis can wait a lil'm more 🙈🙈)#btw Im writing the final part to the VegasPete time travel AU#and its mostly Vegas' and Gun's confrontation so that's already heavy stuff#but these lines Gun just said to Vegas? oh my god#I might've peaked right there and then#hopefully that'll stay relevant and won’t sound like shit when I get back to it tomorrow 🙈😂#but so far Im having so much fun and it's beginning to look like it might become one of the best things I've ever written#it just Flows and Im letting myself go with the style and its just-- so nice 😩#lots of parallels and lots of implications and mirroring in this confrontation between father and son#might become my favourite bit too#and Id prob appeal to no one but me 🙈 but ehh Im happy with how its turning out and that's important ^^#and if anyone else likes it then thats just an added bonus ^^#now Im gonna go lay down and rest for a bit bcs this heat wave really is killing me#over 32 degrees Celcius with Zero wind snd humid as fuck#I was Not made for this :')
5 notes · View notes
cats-in-the-clouds · 1 month
Text
it is unfortunate when i go to prayer and cry my eyes out and the only response i really hear is that i simply have to bear it. like usually i can get my emotions out and once they’re settled i hear a rational solution but it sucks when i don’t get the answer i want. i just have to keep waiting. like normally i hear something that gives me strength but wow apparently i’ve hit a new low
#literally all my problems would be so much easier to deal with if i had friends#and normally i’d be told ‘do this and you’ll probably find friends’#my plan has always been just to wait for someone to find me bc i’m horribly shy and antisocial#even though logically i know that’s a bad way of going about it#my logical rational analytical brain has always been obsessed with finding concrete answers. it’s always been ‘what can *I* do’#so even when i suffer there’s a part of me that says ‘it’s ok once i’m done crying i can work this out and go right back to trying’#i’ve been emotionally dead for years but i’ve always held onto faith like that#tonight i feel like i’ve been brought low. i feel like i’ve finally been told that i might just have to wait after all#which i might think would be comforting bc it absolves me of responsibility#but it’s actually crushing bc it absolves me of power#i feel like i’m finally facing the realization that i’m powerless and pathetic and i’m never going to be able to fix myself#that i can try as hard as i want but i can’t shake off this cross#but i don’t know how long i have to wait for someone to find me#and even if they find me how do i not fumble it#my first instinct is to push people away bc i assume they’re not really interested they’re just trying to be nice#which is usually true#i don’t even know how to sustain casual friendships and im so desperately in need of deep ones#i can’t open up to someone without just breaking apart and making it clear how pathetic i am#one would think i ought to find someone better than myself who can fix me#but on the other hand i think the only time that the good parts of me come out is when im facing someone even worse than me#like i have a tendency to morph into the opposite of the other person in any given situation to maintain healthy balance#so like when surrounded by extroverts which is almost always i become an introvert#it’s rare to meet an introvert but then i become stronger and more extroverted around them. like something in me just loves helping others#even though i can’t help myself#what do i pray for? a fellow pathetic person? or someone with the patience and kindness and life knowledge of a saint?#will either of them really be found just by chance in my life?#and even if i do meet someone. truly i wish they’d also be lonely. i want them to need me#i don’t want to be a pity charity case. like a side project for someone with real friends already
2 notes · View notes
crossbackpoke-check · 10 months
Note
18 + swaymark!!
oooo thank you!!
#18 - pleaser, wallows + swaymark
okay i know they are canonically obsessed with each other but. the song is in some ways about feeling like you’re failing in your relationship and being not quite as obsessed with them as they maybe are with you, and in this video of them talking about being a tandem, there is the slightest pause before swayman answers “do you miss him?” that makes me want to probe a wound. we’re not talking irl reasons of how that’s an absurd question (how do you miss him. you’re coworkers you’re seeing each other all the time) we’re talking that maybe this whole goalies-in-love thing got blown out of proportion and now swayman’s having to buy into the bit too hard. linus loves it & everyone’s asking about their bromance & how they love each other so much and the thing is—linus is safe. he’s got a wife and plausible deniability and jeremy? jeremy is gay. sure, he can crack jokes and people-please but the more people ask the more they're going to find out until maybe they find out something jeremy doesn't want them to know. and the longer this goes on, the more jeremy has to sit at linus' dinner table with linus and his beautiful wife and pretend like he isn't a little bit in love with him. and you know what? the longer it goes on and linus doesn't dial it down jeremy does stop being in love with him, because it just feels cruel, until he finally is done enough that he stops biting his tongue and ruins the moment.
#…this so is not a five sentence summary but ALSO this manages to perfectly align with something i was obsessed with (that media video)#like yeah is that pause reasonably a buffering time to a weird question? yes!!! do i want to read into it & make swayman a bit uncomfortabl#also yes!!! sorry i decided to give them tragique but they were assigned by spotify. the other option for this song was an ED fix-it fic#about healthy sex and learning that it can be a part of a normal relationship!! sex is weird and fucked up!! but like. that’s just because#i have always interpreted this song as a) unrequited best friend love & you’re worried you’re gonna fuck it up b) virgin who doesn’t know#what sex is and is scared to tell anyone and then option c) people pleaser keeps going along with it but can’t anymore#also OBVIOUSLY they end up fine. whether that ends up being jeremy finally telling linus (oblivious) i don’t want to do this with you#i need to get over you & them creating a platonic space & sway ends up with someone else OR linus has the oh. true. i simply never#considered that i could be gay for you option OR the one i have just invented but is now my favorite because i love a good polycule is that#linus & his wife simply add jeremy to their relationship. and then this song becomes jeremy scared to have sex with linus’ wife at first lo#liv in the replies#the interviews in that video doing the lord’s work fr but also that ‘do you not miss him’ feels SO uncomfortable. say no! but then he leans#in with the dirty jokes comment & i know i’ve made like eight variations already (sorry. that’s how my brain works) but it is soooo fun#to me personally if they are broken up but now have to act nice & keep doing all these rituals & sell us on the narrative & they’re just#trying to see who’s going to crack first. needle each other into laughing or getting irritated enough it shows through & the other one wins#do even more aggressive hug rituals!! get a medical warning from the athletic training staff!!!
9 notes · View notes
perilegs · 4 months
Text
i'm going to my cousin's bday party tomorrow which is fun and great except that my mom is also going to be there. we don't talk. she literally skipped my other cousin's graduation party just bc i was there.
#for context shes a huge transphobe who wants nothing to do with me and thinks im soiling her good name just by existing#so. im not v excited about that.#but it's something i can handle and i have support around me!#what i however cannot handle are regular mom things. ive gained a lot of weight since i last saw her and#i cannot handle it if she comments on it im so stressed out about it bc she knows just what to say to hurt me#i got chubby after starting t and i think it suits me. especially if i start hitting the gym or something so i'll also have some strength#like im not looking to lose weight im looking to have a dad bod by my 30s#with my soft round features and curly hair i already look like a hobbit so i just need to get a little bit of muscle to complete the look#bc those bitches work outside i know how theyre built#i however cannot achieve that with just my office job so yknow#im mostly just saying this to motivate myself to excercise bc i know it makes me feel good but actually getting around to doing it is hard#also i would love to stop being weak#i just want to be able to lift heavier things#like. it's unhealthy how little i do rn and i dont feel good about it but school has been sucking the life out of me#so i dont have the energy to do things that will increase my mental wellbeing which. not ideal.#agh now that my thesis is done i might finally get around to doing stuff#after a while once my brain and body registers that i'm literally fine#anyways. im nervous about tomorrow.#but it's fine i'll get to catch up with the nice relatives too#leevi talks
5 notes · View notes
glorious-spoon · 1 year
Text
.
10 notes · View notes