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#but it is nice to just have a little place where i can talk about them to other people
toadtoru · 3 days
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GOOD LUCK BABE
when you wake up next to him in the middle of the night / with your head in your hands, you're nothing more than his wife / and when you think about me, all of those years ago / you're standing face to face with "i told you so"
pairing: shoko x fem!reader contents: angst, angst, angst, no curses au, reader is rich, reader is addressed with she/her pronouns, childhood friends to ???, no-curse au, some gojo x reader, alcohol consumption, smoking and weed wordcount: 4k
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“Do you like him?”
You’re twenty-one the second time Shoko asks you this question. You’re out on the balcony, attempting to ignore the loud yelling and music being blasted from the small apartment behind you. You lean over the railing, looking down at the people below you. Shoko takes another drag of her cigarette. She glances back at the closed door behind you. She can easily catch the white blob of hair amongst the partygoers. 
“Of course I do! You’re all my best friends.” 
You both know that it’s not what Shoko means.
“Yeah, but do you like him?” Shoko repeats, and you pout when you realise that she’s not letting you off the hook. You send her a look while gently tapping your fingers against the railing. Shoko’s eyes follow the movement, trying not to glare at the diamond ring on your finger. 
You grew up different; Shoko knows that. Whereas she and Suguru grew up relatively normal, had parents who worked simple jobs and came home to cook dinner, you and Satoru were raised by maids and strict rules. She supposes this is the reason you’re so nonchalant about all this. Whereas Shoko as always had the choice, you never had. Still, it bothers her how willingly you let yourself be captured, how little you fight for the freedom to be your own person. She wishes she could shake you till you understood, but instead, she’s stuck here on this shitty balcony, hoping that you might answer her question truthfully for once. She takes another drag of her cigarette, inhaling deeply and hoping that you won’t notice how tense her shoulders are. 
“It doesn’t matter if I like him,” you say, shrugging. You glance over at Shoko, and something passes between you for a moment. Your eyes flicker to her lips, still wrapped around her cigarette. It’s barely a second before you’re making eye contact again. 
“I’m just happy my parents chose Gojo and not that asshole from Zenin Enterprises.” 
You’re twenty when you go to a bar for the first time. It’s your birthday, officially the last one to turn twenty out of the four of you. It’s the first time in six months that you managed to get together. After you graduated, Satoru immediately started working at his dad's company; you and Shoko started at separate universities; and Suguru… well, none of you really know what he’s doing. Shoko recalls him saying he has some kind of sales job that causes him to travel a lot. 
By this time, purple circles have settled under Shoko’s eyes, and cigarettes are a staple in her purse. In all honesty, she doesn’t want to be here. It’s a fancy place—more of a club than a bar, really. Satoru’s choice, of course. There’s no way that you picked this place. 
You look stunning. Dressed in a top and a mini skirt, you look both expensive and endlessly tempting. You’ve already drank some at your place, where you all started, and you’re pleasantly giggly, hanging on Satoru's arm. Shoko wishes you’d hang off her like that, but recently there’s been a weird divide between you. You’re hard to get a hold of. 
You catch her eyes and smile. “You look nice tonight, Sho,” you say, lips curling teasingly as you reach out to pull a piece of hair behind her ear. “Your hair has gotten longer,” you add with a hum. 
Shoko shrugs. Suguru and Satoru are talking about something that she’s not a part of, so she moves closer to you. “How have you been?” she asks casually, trying to act like she isn’t hanging off every word you say. 
“Come dance with me,” you reply, grabbing her hand and pulling her out on the dancefloor. Shoko follows you wordlessly. She’s never been much for dancing, but for you, she’ll make an exception. 
“I’m alright,” you say. “School is hard,” you add, and Shoko follows the way your body moves, easily falling into a rhythm with the music. She wonders why you couldn’t have this conversation at the bar, but in a way, she’s happy that she doesn’t have to share you with the boys for a while. Your fingers are intertwined as you both ignore everyone else on the crowded dance floor. It’s hot, and the music blasts from the speakers beside the DJ, all contributing to making Shoko feel dizzy. 
“What about you, Sho?” you ask, dancing closer. 
“School is hard,” she repeats after you, grinning when you roll your eyes. You dance for a little while longer, silence creating a distance between you. Shoko wonders why it’s like this all of a sudden. You used to always be close; the silence between you was never uncomfortable like this. 
“I miss you,” Shoko says. She doesn’t even know why she says it. These are the kinds of things Shoko feels in silence. She never shares them with other people. But for some reason, she can’t stand the thought of not being able to share it with you. You smile, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. 
“I’m dating Satoru.” 
Cutting Shoko open with a scalpel would probably have hurt less. The music becomes white noise, the room feels small, and the air becomes hard to breathe. She looks towards the bar where Satoru’s talking with Suguru. As if on queue, Satoru looks up from his conversation to look at the two of you. He smiles at Shoko when their eyes meet. Satoru, Satoru, Satoru. Bastard. It’s always him, isn’t it? 
“I need a cigarette,” Shoko mumbles, walking towards the smoking area of the club. 
“Sho,” you say, following her as she makes her way through the dancefloor towards the doors with the smoking sign. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” you say, and Shoko shakes her head as she pushes the door open and exits onto a small rooftop. The air is chilly, and there are several people already there, smoking and talking. 
“I’m sorry,” you repeat as Shoko lights her cigarette and takes a long drag. “Will you at least look at me?”
She does. Soft, kind brown eyes locked on you. You’ve always revelled in Shoko’s attention. It made you feel special to be deserving of it, for a person who’s usually nonchalant and seemingly careless, that you were interesting enough. Even when she would tease you and push your buttons, you liked it.
You don’t like it right now.
“Why?” Shoko asks. Your brows knit together. 
“Shoko, I’m sorry if you’re mad–”’
“No. Why him?” Shoko interrupts. She takes another drag before blowing the smoke off to the side. You frown. 
“You promised you’d stop smoking,” you say, and Shoko laughs. 
“Is it your parents?” she asks, stepping closer. Smoke fills your lungs as she blows some onto your face. You turn to the side, but she grabs your chin and makes you look at her. “Is it you? Do you like him?” She asks. You frown. 
“Yes,” you reply, though it’s half-hearted and soft. 
“Speak up,” Shoko says, but you don’t. Your brows are furrowed, and there’s a little pout on your lips. Your hands come to tug on her shirt as if you’re beckoning her to come closer, but she doesn’t, not even bothering to look down at where you’re holding onto her. 
She feels an awful desire to kiss you, to show you what liking—no, loving—someone really is. She doesn’t fight it when she leans in, pressing your lips together. This kiss is much different from any kiss you’ve shared before. It’s meaner, more desperate. As if Shoko is trying to put every word she won’t speak into this moment, lips moving against lips. Your fingers move from her shirt up to her neck, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss. 
Shoko tastes like smoke and the beer she took three sips off when you first arrived. It’s deprived; how good it all feels to let go. Then you part and you gasp for air for a few seconds before you step back, wiping your hands in your shirt and turning around, disappearing into the bar. 
You’re fifteen when you say the words that make Shoko take the first drag of a cigarette. You’re sitting on the floor in your room, watching some show that you begged her to see. Shoko can’t even remember which one it was, although it doesn’t matter all that much. You’re huddled close together, giggling whenever the main characters do something funny. Your eyes are on the screen, but Shoko can’t help but look at you. 
It’s dark out. She should’ve been home hours ago, but your parents aren’t home—they never are—and the maid left hours ago. 
“Have you ever kissed anyone, Sho?” you ask. Shoko blinks, turning to look at the TV again. A kiss scene is unfolding. Fairly innocent, she thinks. She looks back at you to find you already looking. Your faces are awfully close, only illuminated by the blue light from the show still going, though it’s all background noise at this point. 
“No,” Shoko replies bluntly. You smile, your cheeks heating up as you lean in closer. 
“Do you want to?” you ask. It’s innocent. You’re smiling, your eyes darting down to Shoko’s lips for a second before they’re back up. 
“I don’t know,” Shoko replies. Already at fourteen, she hates how she feels around you. There’s something disarming about you that makes Shoko lose all her cool and turn into a complete puddle of weird, awkward teenage mess. Her heart always seems to hammer in her chest, and her hands feel clammy. 
“We could try, you know,” you say. You’re so close now that Shoko can feel your breath on her lips, smell the fruit rolls you ate earlier. It’s so very you, so sweet. Blood roars in her ears, and she doesn’t say anything, afraid her voice might betray her. 
“For practice,” you add, and Shoko finds herself nodding along. For practice, sure. She ignores the gnawing feeling in her chest, the looming knowledge that she can never come back from this. Shoko has never been much interested in love or boys. She’s always opted for medical books and crime mysteries instead of chick flicks. Though with you, it’s always been different. You could rope her into watching The Notebook and Titanic as many times as you wanted if it meant Shoko got to spend time with you. 
“Is this okay?” you ask, placing your hand on Shoko’s cheek, and she nods again. “Yeah,” she replies, almost breathless. You’re so close now.
So so close. 
It’s innocent. There’s no tongue, no great big sparks. Yet Shoko feels electric. Your lips are soft. So soft. And despite how blunt you were just seconds ago, you feel shy now all of a sudden, pulling away with flushed cheeks and a sort of dazed look on your face. 
“Thank you,” is all you can think to say, and it makes Shoko snort at your reaction. This causes a giggle to be pulled from you as well, and you sit there for a while, just lingering in each other's presence, high on the experience of your first kiss together. It’s innocent, sweet. Shoko wishes she could bottle up the feelings you give her and save them from the rot she’s already feeling building up inside of her. 
She reaches for your cheek and pulls you in for a second kiss. You let her, getting braver this time. Your lips move against each other. It’s inexperienced and clumsy, but Shoko wouldn’t have it any other way. 
Then you whisper the god-forsaken words. 
“I wish you were a boy, Sho.” 
And Shoko feels the rot fester in her gut. 
“I should go,” she replies, stumbling out of your room and down the hall of your obscenely large house. She ignores your calls for her as she slips down through your kitchen.
She stops in her tracks when she notices the small packet on the counter. The maid must’ve left it, she thinks to herself as she picks it up and inspects it. Shoko and you have spied on her during enough smoke breaks to know. Two cigarettes left. She glances at the door. You haven’t followed her downstairs. She puts the box in her pocket and walks out your front door. 
How can two cigarettes hurt?
You’re twenty-three when you walk down the aisle in a beautiful white dress. Shoko watches from the fourth row, right next to Nanami. You and Satoru stand in front of the altar. Suguru sits on the front row with Satoru’s family. You hadn’t asked Shoko to sit with yours. 
The vows are formal. Clinical, almost. As though someone else wrote them for you, as though neither you nor Satoru actually feel the things you say. Nonetheless, you look blinding in your dress, even more blinding as you walk down the aisle and lock eyes with Shoko. 
She smiles at you. Purple rings have become more prominent under her eyes during the past few months. She’s told you they’re from late-night cramming and studying, and while that’s not technically untrue, there's another reason why she sleeps so badly as well. You smile back, and Shoko feels the green little thorn in her stomach reach just a little deeper. 
“Why are you looking all gloomy?” 
It’s playful. There’s no ill intent behind it. Satoru, as always, pretends to be unaware of anything that might start an uncomfortable conversation, instead resorting to acting like a fool. Shoko sighs. 
“Fuck off,” she says, though there’s no edge in her tone. She can’t ever really hate Satoru. No one can. That’s what's so annoying about him. Satoru walks forward and joins Shoko on the balcony from the venue of your wedding afterparty. Shoko doesn’t know where you are. Probably somewhere entertaining your guests, pretending that this is the happiest night of your life. 
Satoru eyes the cigarette between Shoko’s fingers as she takes another drag. 
“I thought you were quitting.”
“School’s been stressful.” 
“Ah,” Satoru nods, resting his arms on the railing and looking out over the city. It’s a peaceful night. The sky is clear, though you can’t see the stars due to the light of the city. Shoko exhales. 
“Are you doing alright, Shoko? You seem distant,” Satoru asks, eyes trained on the view in front of them. Shoko hums. 
“I’m alright,” 
They stand like that for a while, neither of them saying anything. Shoko wonders if she should just tell Satoru everything. About how she’s in love with his wife and has been for years. How she wakes up in the middle of the night, gasping for air and chasing dreams of you. You with your soft lips and pretty smile. You who never flinches away, you who remains the centre of Shoko’s world no matter how hard she tries to untangle herself from your web of love and praise.
She imagines it wouldn’t go down well. Even if Satoru has married you out of duty, she knows he still loves you. Maybe not as a wife, but as a companion. You’ve known each other for so long, known that you were promised to each other since you were mere children. 
“Ah, fuck, I better go save my wife.” 
The moment has passed. Shoko looks back towards the glass doors to the party. You’re stuck talking to some elders. Shoko doesn’t know who they are, but she assumes they’re from Gojo’s family. You glance towards the balcony. “Save me,” you mouth, and both Shoko and Satoru snort. 
“Duty calls,” he sings as he walks past Shoko. He looks back over his shoulder once. “Come back once you’ve finished that one, okay?”
You’re eighteen when you all huddle together on the floor in Suguru’s room, giggling and whispering about the joint that the boys somehow managed to secure. Suguru lights it and takes the first inhale. Satoru follows, cheeks immediately turning pink and a dopey smile settling on his lips as he passes it to Shoko. You watch Shoko curiously before she hands it to you. 
Carefully, you fold it between your two fingers, eyeing the little roll carefully. “How do I do it?” you ask, and Shoko snorts. Satoru is giggly already, lying down and putting his head in Suguru’s lap. Suguru looks mostly unaffected, yet he cracks a smile and pinches Satoru’s cheek. 
“You put it between your lips, and then you inhale. You gotta feel it all the way in your lungs,” Shoko explains. You try to do as she says, but when you exhale, barely any smoke comes out. Suguru chuckles. 
"Yeah, that was not an inhale,” he says, and you poke your tongue at him. Shoko moves closer to you, ignoring Suguru as she puts her hand on your thigh. 
“Try again,” she says, and you do, looking at her at the same time. Shoko smiles, and you choke, coughing out some as you feel tears prickling in your eyes. Shoko rubs a soothing hand along your thigh while Satoru laughs. You pat your chest, coughing furiously as tears run down your cheek and Shoko smiles at you. 
So cute. 
“C’mere,” she says, once your coughing has subsided. You pout at her, but move closer nevertheless, till you’re in her lap. The boys are quiet now, watching your exchange as Shoko puts a hand on your waist, taking the joint from your fingers with the other. 
“You ready?” she asks, and you nod wordlessly. Slowly, she inhales before leaning into you, blowing into your mouth. This time you inhale, puffing your chest out in a manner that makes Shoko grin. You exhale again, and Shoko pats your cheek rewardingly. 
“Good girl,” she mutters, and your jaw drops. Suguru coughs, and you can hear Satoru’s giggle increasing as you climb out of her lap and grab the joint again. Shoko smiles at you. The knowing kind that makes you want to bash your head into a wall. You ignore the heat in your cheeks as you peel your eyes away from her. 
“Okay, I can do it myself now, thank you,” you say, taking a big inhale. You hold it for a few seconds before exhaling again, white smoke leaving your lungs. 
“There you go,” Satoru says, flashing you his perfect white teeth. You frown and take another drag, for good measure, before Suguru takes the joint from you. 
“Woah, there,” he says, raising a brow at you. “This is your first time, right?”
“Yeah,” you reply, already feeling lightheaded. “So what?” 
“Might want to take it easy,” he says. You don't bother to reply, instead looking back at Shoko. She’s leaned back, resting on her elbows. She meets your gaze, tilting her head to the side. Taking you in. Examining you. You fiddle with your fingers in your lap, but you don’t break eye contact.
Then she nods at you. A tiny one, barely noticeable. You almost think you imagine it, if it isn’t for the teasing look in her eyes. 
An invitation. 
You don’t hesitate to take it, climbing over and promptly laying your head in her lap. Shoko laughs, but she lets you, adjusting herself so she can sit up and play with your hair. You hum, closing your eyes and wrapping your arms around her. You feel light, pleasant. 
“Someone’s feeling touchy,” Shoko says, smiling as she watches your brows knit together. She brings a finger down, running it over the crease formed between your eyebrows, forcing you to relax. 
“You’re my best friend, Sho.” Your voice is airy. “I’m allowed to feel touchy.”
You’re twenty when you kiss Shoko for the second time before slipping inside the crowded bar again. Shoko waits a few minutes before she follows you back in. She can still feel your pillowy lips and taste the gloss you wear. She feels dizzy, almost, under the neon lights, but she’s unsure if it’s the alcohol and nicotine or just you. 
Her eyes land on the table where she saw Satoru and Suguru earlier. The white blob of hair is easy to spot; it always is. Even when you’re running your fingers through them. 
Ah. 
Even when you run your fingers through Satoru’s hair while you kiss him stupid. His hands are on your hips, pulling you in. She can’t see your face, only your back. In a way, she’s glad. It makes the whole ordeal much easier. 
“There you are.” 
Suguru moves towards her, smiling casually when she turns to look at him. 
“I assume she’s told you?” he muses, nodding his head towards the two of you. Suguru’s hands are in his pockets, and his hair is tied back. Shoko shrugs. 
“Yeah,” Shoko says. She looks at you again before turning back to Suguru. “How long have you known?” she asks, and Suguru scratches his neck and hums. 
“About a month,” he says. Shoko shifts from one foot to another and nods. A month. A month and you didn’t tell her. She scoffs. Suguru raises a brow. 
“Are you upset?”
“No,”
“Alright,” there’s a teasing edge to Suguru’s tone that tells her he doesn’t quite believe her. Shoko’s brows narrow, and she feels her fingers itching for another cigarette. 
She gives you a last glance before pulling Suguru out with her for another cigarette. If you wanna kiss boys in bars, then so be it. 
You’re twenty-six when Shoko opens her door in the middle of the night and finds you on her doorstep, completely drenched from the rain. 
“I’m afraid there’s something rotten inside of me,” you say, and if your eyes weren’t brimming with tears, Shoko might have blamed your wet cheeks on the rain and tried to shrug it off, but it feels impossible with the way you stand there with red rims around your eyes. “I’m afraid that there’s something wrong with me, and it’s only a matter of time before you all figure it out,” you repeat, almost gasping for air as if each word brings you physical pain to speak. 
And Shoko steps aside, because what else can she do. How could she turn you away when you’re all she’s ever wanted, all she’s ever loved. Yet none of you make another move to do anything else as Shoko stands with the closed door behind her and you stand in the middle of her living room, your soaked clothes dripping in a puddle underneath you. 
“What’s going on?” Shoko asks. Your lips are downturned and your brows are furrowed, and you look so miserable that it makes Shoko’s stomach churn. 
“I don’t love him.” 
A beat. 
Shoko stares. Your eyes are trained on the puddle beneath you. 
“You were right. It doesn’t feel right when I’m with him. He’s my best friend, but—”
“Why are you here?” Shoko interrupts. She rubs the bridge of her nose, taking in a deep breath. 
“Sho-” you stumble across the room, but Shoko places a hand up and you stop in your tracks. 
“Stay there,” she says, and you frown. 
“I’m sorry, okay. I should’ve listened to you,” you say, knowing that it won’t help anything but saying it anyway.
Shoko always thought she would feel satisfaction in this moment. Some sense of superiority. To be able to say “I told you so” with a smile dancing on her lips. That all of it—all of the rot and pain—would be worth it once you realised you were wrong. Instead, she just feels bitter. 
“Yeah. You should have.” 
She realises she’s wasted so much time. Waiting, and waiting, and waiting. And for what? Shoko sighs. 
“You should leave.”
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thank you for reading!
i'm satoru when i get high btw. very giggly, very happy, very in love with all of my friends.
tagging @madaqueue since you asked, my munchkin. <3
masterlist | divider by enchanthings
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reidswhre · 1 day
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notes 4 you ; spencer reid x fem!reader
warnings: fluff! best friends in love
You were gathering your things from your desk while wondering what you were going to have for dinner. You hadn’t left any food prepared, and honestly, you didn’t feel like cooking, but nothing that a food delivery couldn’t fix.
“Hi.” Spencer smiled at you from in front.
“Hey, you.” You smiled back while slinging your bag over your shoulder.
“Are you heading home?” He asked.
“Of course, I’m going home, where else would I go at this hour?” You teased him.
“Oh- I don’t know- I- well.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I thought maybe you could come to my place, I’m making pasta.”
“Your place? Oh God, sure! I’d love to.”
“Really?”
“Of course!”
You used to go to Spencer’s place often, and he to yours. You’d have dinner, watch a movie or two, and talk a lot. You spent all day together at work, but given the tragic cases you dealt with, seeing each other outside of work felt peaceful, a nice atmosphere that you both created.
You liked him a lot, and you were sure he liked you too. There were always moments when everything felt tense or you sensed something stronger than friendship between you, but neither of you ever acted on it.
“I missed it here,” you said as you entered Spencer’s apartment.
“Did you?” He asked as he watched you head straight to his bookshelf.
“Are you kidding? I love this place; it’s so cozy, so interesting, so lovely, so… you.”
“Do you love me?” He gave you a playful look as he set the groceries on the table for dinner.
“Of course, I do, silly.” You rolled your eyes and picked up the book on the coffee table. “This one’s new.”
“Yeah—actually, all those piled over there are new.” He pointed to a stack of about five books to your right.
“Oh, can I borrow this one when you're done?” you asked, grabbing one from the pile.
“You can take any of them, really.” He gave you that closed-lip smile.
“Wait, you’ve read all five already? You said they were new!”
“I read fast.”
“Of course you do.” You rolled your eyes again, smiling as you skimmed through the book.
“By the way! I finished reading that book you recommended, your favorite, remember?”
You felt a wave of happiness wash over you. “You’re kidding! I didn’t even know you bought it! How exciting! What did you think?”
“It was pretty good, though I think the dialogues in the book show some deficiencies in terms of plausibility and conversational dynamics. This homogeneity in the discourse negatively affects the characterization and pacing, creating a sense of stagnation in the dramatic development.”
You were left speechless, which made you laugh a little.
“What’s so funny?” He furrowed his brows.
“You just severely criticized my favorite book!”
“I didn’t criticize it severely!” He defended himself. “I thought it was good! It has memorable lines, and it’s very romantic. I just think the dialogue could’ve been better, that’s all.”
“Sure, everyone’s entitled to their opinion, even if yours is wrong,” you teased.
“Hey!” Spencer feigned offense.
You laughed, and Spencer chuckled a little too.
“You can keep that one too.”
“No, no, don’t worry. I have that book in every edition that exists.” You laughed. “It’s my favorite for a reason.”
“Yeah, but—I thought you might want this one.” Spencer walked over to the bookshelf in front of you and pulled out the book from a drawer.
The book was filled with sticky notes. You glanced at it and saw it was covered with annotations everywhere.
“I—well—I made notes while reading because—I don’t know—I wanted to give it to you. I thought you’d like to see how I was doing as I read it.” He looked a bit nervous.
You looked at him and then back at the book. You were so surprised that no words came out of your mouth, which only made Spencer more anxious.
“No—you don’t have to keep it—It wasn’t my intention to make you feel like you had to read it, I didn’t even ask if you wanted it, I’m really sorry!”
“You’re sorry?” You raised your eyebrows. “Sorry for giving me the best gift anyone’s ever given me?” You smiled broadly.
“What? You want it?” He sighed in relief.
“Are you kidding? This is incredible.” You threw your arms around him in a hug. “I love it! I can’t wait to see what you wrote.” You pulled away from the hug to skim through the book.
“No! Don’t do that!” He placed his hands over the book so you couldn’t read it. “Read it at home, okay?”
“Why!? I want to read it now.” You laughed and moved the book out of his reach.
“The thing is, I—you know—I wrote a lot…” He looked away.
You gave him a knowing look. “Of course, that was the idea, wasn’t it? I’m well aware,” you said teasingly.
“Sure! But… I didn’t just write what I thought about the book.” He looked at you. “I highlighted and underlined things that reminded me of you, and… I wrote you a few things. Just—read it later, okay?”
Suddenly, you felt a bit nervous, your stomach flipping. What did he mean by writing you a few things?
“Oh sure… yeah—sorry.” You closed the book and tucked it under your arm.
“It’s okay! Forget it.” He smiled sweetly. “Help me with the pasta, yeah?”
You smiled back. “What?” You pretended to be offended. “I came here to be treated like a princess, not to get my hands dirty!”
“Stop complaining!” He teased you, and you laughed.
You returned home around midnight, hung up your jacket, and left your keys on the table. Eagerly, you pulled the book out of your bag and sat down on the couch to take a look.
You saw some of his notes.
What’s this supposed to be? This guy’s an idiot. >:(
Oh, that was sweet! Extra points for him!
She’s funny, just like you.
you and me :) It was next to a paragraph describing a black cat and an orange one playing around.
I’m reading this on the plane, and you’re asleep i miss you :(
I seriously hate this guy, who raised him!?
You looked really cute today. You’re always cute.
There were countless more notes, all in his handwriting.
You had no intention of sleeping until you finished reading them all.
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songbirdseung · 2 days
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i did it first / park jongseong
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where cute, playful, and innocent arguments with your boyfriend are welcomed and appreciate as they lead into the sweetest moments genre fluff, established relationship
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as you and jay walk back to the car after your date, the cool evening air still carrying the warmth of your laughter and lingering touches, you can’t help but feel a little smug. tonight had been perfect—dinner at your favorite restaurant, a walk along the river, and now a comfortable car ride back home. but as soon as you both climb in and buckle up, jay’s signature teasing smirk reappears, and you already know what’s about to happen.
“you know you’re wrong, right?” jay starts, his voice playful, throwing a quick glance your way as he starts the engine. “i definitely loved you first.”
you roll your eyes, half-expecting this after a night like tonight. "oh, please. there is no way that’s true. i’m the one who fell for you first!"
jay laughs under his breath, pulling out onto the road. "y/n, you can tell yourself whatever makes you feel better, but we both know i fell first. you didn’t even realize i existed at first."
crossing your arms, you lean back in your seat, your competitive side already on high alert. "are you kidding me? i knew exactly who you were. remember that time i ‘accidentally’ bumped into you in the library? that was totally planned, just so i could talk to you.”
he gives you a side-eye, the corners of his mouth quirking up. "oh yeah? well, i noticed you way before that. i was already into you the first time you asked me what time class started. you literally already knew, but i could tell you just wanted to talk to me."
"and you think that means you fell first?" you ask, raising an eyebrow. "i strategically sat near you during every lunch period! i even switched friend groups just to get closer to you."
jay shakes his head, smiling as he recalls those moments. "okay, but who was the one who went out of his way to offer you help in chemistry? even though i was just as lost as you were?"
you can’t help but laugh at that memory, your attempts to look like you understood the periodic table just as hopeless as jay’s. "oh, please. that was nothing compared to when i pretended i needed help with my project just so i could come over to your place.”
jay glances over at you, raising his eyebrows. "you did know how to finish that project, didn’t you?"
“of course i did! but i wanted an excuse to spend time with you,” you admit with a playful smile, knowing that your antics back then were nothing short of ridiculous.
“remember the time i stayed up all night baking cookies for your birthday? that definitely means i was in love with you before you even had a clue.”
“those cookies were good, but come on, y/n,” jay says, grinning as he keeps his eyes on the road. “i was the one who found out your favorite drink at that coffee shop you went to every morning, and then i ‘just so happened’ to show up there at the same time.”
"oh please, anyone could’ve done that," you shoot back, laughing. “i took hours picking out your birthday gift that year. i went to three different stores to find something you’d like.”
jay's laugh bubbles up, shaking his head. "okay, fine. but do you remember when i walked you home in the rain after class, even though i didn’t have an umbrella and was soaked by the time we got to your place?"
you bite your lip, remembering that moment vividly. you had felt guilty for days afterward, thinking he’d catch a cold just because he didn’t want you to walk home alone. "alright, that was sweet, but it still doesn’t prove you loved me first."
jay rolls his eyes playfully. "yes, it does. i was the one who volunteered to carry your books every day even though you insisted you didn’t need help.”
"oh, so now you’re just gonna keep using the ‘nice guy’ routine?" you tease, unable to stop the grin spreading across your face. "because i waited for you outside your basketball practices just to see you for like five seconds."
“and i,” jay interjects, “started wearing cologne because you once told me that you liked how a guy smelled when he walked by in class. i literally changed my entire scent just for you.”
you burst out laughing at his confession. "are you serious? i had no idea! that’s actually kinda cute.”
“yeah, well, i was pretty obsessed with you,” jay admits, a sheepish grin on his face.
as you both make your way to the front door, the conversation picks right back up, neither of you ready to let the other win. the entire way up the stairs to your apartment, you continue to volley back and forth, trying to outdo each other’s arguments with more memories and playful jabs.
“i showed up to your first big presentation, remember? i even sat through two hours of boring speeches just to support you,” you say, sliding off your shoes by the door.
jay follows closely behind, grinning. "well, i drove two hours to surprise you at that concert you were dying to go to, even though i hate crowds."
you stop in the middle of the hallway, turning to face him. “oh, so now it’s a contest of who made the biggest sacrifice?”
jay laughs, leaning against the wall, arms crossed as he watches you. "well, if it is, then i’m winning. i literally skipped out on a game with my friends just to hang out with you at that café. and i never miss game night.”
you shake your head, feeling your heart swell at how much effort he had put in. "okay, fine. but remember the time i took care of you when you got sick? i stayed up all night just to make sure you were okay.”
jay smirks, stepping closer to you. "and who was the one who brought you soup when you had that horrible cold and couldn’t get out of bed?"
"you did," you admit with a smile. "but that still doesn’t mean you loved me first."
jay takes another step closer, his grin softening into something sweeter, more intimate. "you really want to keep this going, huh?”
you nod, crossing your arms and trying to look defiant, even though your heart is racing.
“fine,” jay says, his voice dropping to a teasing whisper as he stands right in front of you now, eyes locked with yours. “there’s only one way to settle this.”
before you can respond, he gently cups your face in his hands, his lips meeting yours in a soft, lingering kiss that melts away any lingering debate between you. his kiss is warm and sweet, like a silent reminder of how much he loves you, whether he fell first or not.
when he finally pulls away, you’re both smiling, breathless but content.
"now will you admit that i loved you first?" he asks, his forehead resting gently against yours.
you laugh, shaking your head slightly. "not a chance."
jay chuckles, pulling you into his arms as he hugs you tightly. "fine. as long as you know i love you now."
“that,” you whisper, snuggling into his chest, "i know for sure."
and with that, the playful argument fades away and whoever fell first be damned.
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avocado-writing · 16 hours
Note
Not a request but just imagine DP & Logan taking such good care of you on your birthday.
Literal Princess/Prince/Royal treatment.
God and don’t even get me started on how good they’d be to you in the bedroom. Logan and Wade always make sure to treat you good but just imagine how much more special they’d try to make it.
You wanna be Eiffel towered? Absolutely it’s your birthday
You want them both in one hole? Deal. Logans already rock hard and Wade’s grabbing the lube.
You just wanna watch them fuck? Wade’s never been more in love with you.
minors dni
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”can I watch you two fuck? please?”
you say the question with doe eyes and twisting hands, like you’re asking to stay out late rather watch your boyfriends go to town on each other. Logan chokes on his mouthful of beer at the unexpected request. Wade lights up.
“pookie, I love you. marry me,” he says, deadpan earnest. you giggle as he pulls you in for a kiss. Logan harrumphs but doesn’t seem too sour about it, it’s been a nice celebration of your birthday after all; taking you to all your favourite places, watching you light up at the fancy café they treated you to lunch at, spoiling you rotten in every shop you wandered into.
so maybe this is just the icing on the cake for you. who are they to deny you every single little thing you want? you’re worth indulging after all, and they both love you. (they love each other too, but those confessions are left for hazy post-coital cuddles which slip into sleep).
“fine,” Logan sighs, as if it’s some great feat, as if he hasn’t been inside Wade a dozen times already. you squeak and clap with joy before sprinting into the bedroom.
“cmon, old guy. keep up,” Wade says with a wink and a slap to Logan’s ass. he growls a warning… but follows anyway.
you set yourself up in the chair in the corner of the room, grabbing one of the bottles of lube the three of you have stored around the place and throwing it to Wade. he likes to make a show of stripping for you, you whoop when he takes his shirt off and swings it around. Logan is more utilitarian about it, tugging his flannel over his head and his jeans off his legs, pushing Wade down into the mattress the first chance he gets. Wade yelps and you gasp in anticipation, hand crawling lower on your body.
”oh, buy a girl dinner first…” Wade hums, Logan silences him with a ferocious kiss. the kind which has their teeth colliding. out the corner of his eye he’s aware of you shucking off your shorts, dipping your fingers in your underwear to start touching yourself. Logan ruts his hips against Wade’s, grinning against his lips at how into this he’s getting.
“Mouth, you talk a big game for someone who gets this hard just from being kissed.”
“you think that’ll work on me? I like being bullied, it makes me cum. get back down here.”
Wade tugs him by his blowjob tufts and kisses him longer, before letting his hand reach down to cradle Logan’s cock.
“slow down, Red. we gotta put on a show, remember?”
they turn to where you watch mesmerised, bucking up into your own hand, mouth soft and agape at the sight before you. you grin.
“I like being in the director’s chair. Wade, can you get on top?” you breathe, pleading. you both look to Logan for his confirmation, and he nods. fuck it, why not. it’s your birthday after all.
“as you wish,” Wade says in a perfect mimicry of Princess Bride, and flips Logan back-down into the mattress.
they go slow for you, and you eke out your orgasms to their lovemaking. Wade bends Logan over and eats him out as you instruct him what to do with his tongue. Logan uses your favourite toy to stretch Wade open. when they fuck their eyes are half glued to each other, half wandering to you sweaty and writhing on that damn chair. once they start properly, it doesn’t take long for them to both finish, making a mess on the bed. you come around your fingers and whine in pleasure.
Logan waits for you to relax before picking you up off the chair. you squeak.
“Lo—!”
“what, you think you’re not gettin’ a turn?”
he places you into Wade’s willing arms, and you feel they’re both beginning to get hard again. ah, the inevitable exhaustion which comes from dating two mutants.
“happy birthday, baby…”
“boys…”
it’s the last word you’re able to say for a while.
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naturesapphic · 2 days
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idk if you’d wanna do this or not but could you potentially write something fluffy with Billie and a gf who feels dumb all the time because she’s dyslexic and billie helps her and comforts her when she struggles?
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Dyslexic
Billie eilish x dyslexic!fem!reader
Warnings: little bit of angst, hurt/comfort, fluff
Everyone who was in your life knew you were dyslexic. You had it growing up and you still have trouble with it today. You would get teased for it a lot when you were little and now since you were an adult. You never understood why people were so mean about it, it was just a learning disorder, but the people always made you feel extra dumb for it.
Here you were, sitting at your desk in the office of your shared house with your girlfriend, working on a class project. You were done writing your portion of the paper and sent it to the group chat. Billie was downstairs in the studio working on music. Almost immediately everyone responded, criticizing your work and how you wrote making your face heat up in embarrassment. One person even said that you were going to make them all fail if you don’t rewrite the whole paper.
You were confused but texted them back that you would look over it again. Going back to your paper you reread everything and you understood what they were talking about. What you wrote was jumbled and didn’t make sense at all. It didn’t fit what the whole project was about and you groaned out in frustration. You grabbed your paper and crumpled it up, throwing it behind you not knowing that it hit someone.
“Hey! Watch the tits bro.” Your girlfriend joked which usually made you laugh but all you let out was a little defeated sigh. “Sorry…” you apologized and you felt your chair spin around and you were face to face with your brown headed girlfriend. “Hey…you don’t need to apologize to me babe.” Billie reassured you and you just sat there staring off making Billie worry. “Okay what’s going on. You’ve been up here all day in the office and you look like you are about to pass out.” She said and you whimpered making her get down on her knees so she’s eye level with you.
“I just…I feel so stupid bils! My stupid brain and my learning disability.” You explained to her and how your partners were making you feel like shit. “Hey hey now. First of all, you aren’t stupid, second of all, they are shit heads who don’t know what they are talking about. Fuck them. You are the smartest and talented girl I know. Don’t let their peanut sized Brains make you think any differently do you understand?” Billie says and you nodded your head slowly. “I still have to write this stupid paper and on top of that I have to start completely over since I messed up.” You sigh and Billie gave you a comforting smile.
“Why don’t I read your project over and help you with your paper hm?” She suggested and you gave her a big smile. “Would you please? I don’t get it whatsoever and I feel like my head is gonna explode.” You explained and she giggles. “I know baby but how about I read it over and rewrite it to where you can understand it better how’s that?” She offered and you felt your eyes burn with tears. “Oh bils…you are the sweetest ever. What did I do to deserve you?” You say as you stand up from your chair and place a kiss on her plump lips, making her kiss you back immediately.
“Okay. Now go to bed and rest. I’ll be there to join you in a bit alright?” She softly demanded you and you nodded. You walked over to the bed and got underneath the covers as you watched Billie read over the project and write down some stuff before joining you. You couldn’t ask for a better girlfriend than Billie, who never made you feel stupid or slow. She loved you as you are.
A/n: thank you for the request anon! As someone who has a learning disability this was very nice to write. Anyone who has some sort of learning disability, know that no matter what anyone says to you, you are smart and capable just like everyone else and I’m proud of you :) remember to stay hydrated and to rest! I love y’all! <3
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saltnsugarbear · 3 days
Text
you're the only one who makes me- every time we- (18+)
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summary: just some foundational building for this au (headcanons)
title from: "Wildflower" by 5 Seconds of Summer
word count: 1.4k
content warnings: MDNI!!! talks of cam work, allusions to a break-in, casual affection between friends, allusions to sexual fantasies
side note: everyone go kiss aw-live for giving me more filthy ideas on this au <3
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- I think we've decided Lip hosts his cam streams in the top floor of the Alibi Room (we being me and Olive)
- it's simply the place where he would have the most privacy and Veronica would probably be chill about it and be like get your bag (she ran cam shows??? so she's like fuck yeah okay king)
- I've just remembered she did cam shows, hell yeah actually she's like get your bag king here are some tips and shit.
- V probably helps set him up with a nice camera, gives him a set of keys to get into the bar and upstairs, helps him spruce the place up, make it look nice for the streams
- this takes place during when he works at Patsy's, and is 100% diverging from canon
- I don't think he's entirely obnoxious about how attractive he is but he has some sort of inkling? like he's the smallest bit cocky about his appearance around his partners just because they're kind of like,,,, they short circuit sometimes
- so he has the idea that he's attractive enough so he's like fuck it why not try?
- and I mean he's got a mouth on him so he can definitely say some shit that'll get people hot and bothered
- so he figures doing cam shows is worth a shot and will help bring in some money on the side
- you work at Patsy's Pies as a waiter, dressed in the white tank top and shorts that have become your uniforms
- you're one of Fiona's most trusted and therefore are very close with her
- one day Fi asks you to go out but day of she asks if you can swing by her place, asking you to bring an item of clothing with you because she has the perfect outfit planned
- so you take the L to the nearest station to her and make it to her house in no time
- you're a little surprised the Gallaghers have an unlocked door policy given they live in Southside Chicago but oh well, Fiona assures you they're prepped for anything (she even shows you The Bat)
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"It's unlocked!!" You hear from behind the door. The voice sounds much farther than just a door between the both of you. True to the statement, the door gives way when you turn the doorknob.
The mudroom your greeted with is cramped, boots and shoes littering the floor and coats crammed onto different hooks.
"Kitchen!" You can hear Fiona's voice clearer now. You duck out of the mudroom, taking in the cluttered living room that leads to the dining room.
Fiona pops her head out from the doorframe and gives you a bright smile. "You made it!"
"I said I would, didn't I?" You adjust the strap of your bag on your shoulder. Fiona shrugs as you walk into the kitchen. Her hair is up, and she's got a steaming mug in her hands.
"You brought it, right?" Her eyes are bright as she looks at you. You nod, opening the bag to pull out the corseted top she asked you to bring. It was something you had been gifted and never planned on wearing yourself, so you offered it to Fiona happily.
Her eyes light up when she sees it. Fiona sets her mug down before she walks over to you, taking the top out of your hands. You watch as she fingers the material, taking it in.
"Thank you," Fiona is quick to wrap her arms around your shoulders, bringing you into a fierce hug.
"'S no problem." You tell her, squeezing her tight before she let's go.
"Gonna go change, and then we can get ready together!" Fiona gives you a soft kiss to your cheek as she departs. You've become used to Fiona's casual affections, watching how she gave the same affection to her siblings in the restaurant. "Help yourself to some coffee."
You watch as Fiona goes up the stairs, disappearing behind the wall. You listen to her walking upstairs before you set your bag on the counter and search for a mug.
The sound of footsteps on the stairs comes sooner than you anticipated Fiona would be.
"Hey Fi," You call over your shoulder. "Where uh- where do you keep the clean mugs?"
The footsteps stop short, and you turn around to look at Fiona. "Left cabinet."
It is not Fiona who speaks, and you think you might break your neck with how quickly you finish your turn. Lip stands on the third step.
Shirtless.
The sight makes your brain pause. Your eyes widen slightly, taking in every detail you can process. What jumps out at you the most is the outline of a triangle on his left pec.
"I- Um-" You're struggling to find any words.
"Sorry, didn't think anyone else would be here other than Fiona." Lip takes the last few steps down and walks to the laundry basket on top of the washing machine. Your eyes follow him as he crosses the room and grabs the first shirt he can get his hands on.
You watch silently as his muscles move when he lifts the shirt over his head. You quickly avert your gaze when he tugs it over his chest.
"Which, uh- which cabinet did you say?" The image of the ink triangle has thoroughly derailed any thoughts you might have had.
"Far left." Lip's voice is curt.
You make your way to the counter, leaning against it to open the far left cabinet door. True to his word, there sit mix-matched coffee mugs.
"Pass me one?" Lip's voice is closer and you can feel his shoulder against yours as you grab the first mug. You softly place the first mug on the counter, exchanging it to your other hand to pass it to Lip. His fingers are warm where they graze over yours when he takes the cup. You're quick to grab your own, turning to push yourself against the counter behind you.
After he's filled the first mug, he passes it to you on the counter and holds his hand out for the empty when you've got grasped between both your hands. You're almost too quick to pass him the mug, nearly pushing it into his hands.
You take the first one, bringing it close to your chest. Being this close to Lip makes your brain go blank like an etch-a-sketch.
"Cream, sugar?" Lip asks as he places the pot back against the machine.
"Uh, both." You say, setting your cup on the counter.
Lip nods as he opens the fridge, grabbing the gallon of milk from the fridge.
"Sugar's behind you.." Lip mutters coming up beside you and reaching around you. You can't help but freeze, holding your breath until Lip is out of your space.
He grabs two spoons from the drying rack on one side of the sink, offering you one of them.
You take it from his hand, your fingertips brushing against his knuckles
You can feel his eyes on you as you start taking spoonfuls out of the container. The huff he lets out through his nose makes you glance at him, watching as he rubs softly at the knick on his cheek.
"Make your coffee.." You mutter, bumping your shoulder into his.
Lip huffs, turning back to his cup. He takes the sugar from your hand, trading you the milk for it.
As you mix the milk and sugar into your coffee, you can't help but zone out.
The inked triangle you saw on Lip's chest makes an appearance in you fantasies that night. And the few nights after that, when you try to get yourself off.
Of course, such a simple thing was to haunt your mind.
It was Lip Gallagher, after all.
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- Lip is not the soft and sweet camboy no no
- he is the mean, condescending camboy
- the camboy who talks you through it, degrades you while fucking himself into his own fleshlight in his hand
- the camboy who teases you and coaxes you and says if you cum before he tells you to he won't let you cum again for a week
- safe to say he builds quite the desperate fan base. men, women, and people alike clock in to watch his streams, showering him in tips easily, giving him enough money in one stream to pay rent
- sometimes he's an extra tease on stream, using his third one for the week to just talk you through it, not even thinking about his own pleasure as he coaxes you through your own release
- that's all for now
- gotta wait for the big show for more thoughts!!!
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gilverrwrites · 3 days
Note
Have we discussed Roman’s separated wife hooking up with Bruce Wayne? You and Bruce have always been cordial, so when Roman doxxes you, Bruce lets you stay at the Manor and cry on his shoulder until the wine bottle is empty. He’s so nice and his hand is so warm on your cheek and oh Lord, it’s bigger than your face and you can’t remember the last time you felt safe while a man was touching you. You try to make a move, but Bruce knows he’s overindulged you (partially to get info about Roman but he’ll feel guilty about it later), so he stops you…but promises he’ll be more than ready and willing when you’re in your right mind and decide you still want this. You wait anxiously the entirety of the next day, until Bruce shows up at your door in the sluttiest t-shirt and sweatpants you’ve ever seen, his ginormous hand finding its place on your face again while the other one is slipping under the hem of your shirt.
Slutty top? You've hit a nerve anon, cause now all I'm thinking about is Brucie in a slutty little crop top, like sir put that washboard away before I bite it! Honestly, feral for anyone of any shape and size in a crop top, just show me your belly, please. Yeah, that would work on me.
But to answer your question, no we have not discussed this but we certainly can!!!!
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Like, I can say earnestly, when he invited you to stay with him, sleeping with you did not cross his mind; he was purely thinking about;
Helping you get out of a bad situation
Good for the Brucie Wayne image (so long as the press don't get wind of it until you've found somewhere permanent to move too)
(as mentioned) Chance to get info on Black Mask
But the moment you flash that perfectly poised smile, even though you’re clearly on the brink of tears, he's thinking ‘Uh oh. I'm in trouble.’
He never thought much of you while you were with Roman, if maybe a little bit sorry for you. The extent of your relationship was occasional networking with Bruce at events, and Batman peeking through your windows at night to check on you when Roman was at his worst or imprisoned.
It helps that he thought you were pretty.
But now, as he's getting to know you on a personal level, seeing that you're stronger than he'd thought, and smarter. You're letting down walls and actually relaxing, and in his domain at that! It stirs something within him.
And for you, like Roman and Bruce are the same age, from similar backgrounds, similar personas for the public (charming and rich) but it's crazy to see how different they really are.
When you talk, Bruce isn't just waiting for his turn to speak, he listens.
There's no coercion when you set a boundary, he just respects it. Which funnily enough makes you more willing to share. He's just so easy to trust.
When you ask about interesting pieces around his house, he doesn't brag about where it's from and what it costs. Instead, he tells you stories about his parents or his kids interacting with it.
He's funny, and respectful, not at all what you'd expected.
And did you mention handsome? Oh, he's very handsome. That dark hair and those blue eyes. The chiselled jaw and the dimples and he smells good too, you find that out after you bury your nose into his chest while he's carrying you to bed that first night. You're tipsy, and his house is a maze, he's just trying to help and not at all showing off his strength.
The same way he's just dressed so casually the following day when he comes to find you, this is what he always lounges around. He's totally not subtly flexing his glamour muscles as you open the door.
Now, Roman is by no means bad in bed. He's just, shall we say, selfish? He has a set way in life and sex that he expects you to live up to.
Bruce though? He's a giver. He can take, when appropriate, but right now, he knows what you need.
You need those big hands on your waist as he chases you into the bed with his mouth. You need them soothing your tired body, massaging all the stress out of your aching body. You need his thumb to rub circles into your inner thighs while he kisses, and sucks, and laps at your hot, wet sex. You need his long hard fingers pumping into that sweet little hole, again and again until you cum all over them.
And that is just the start.
But you know one other really important thing you need? Some goddamn aftercare.
He knows it straight away, shouldn’t have been surprised. But when your body immediately falls limp after he rolls off of you, when you look at him confused as he asks if you need anything he knows your life has been lacking kindness for so long that you barely even recognise when it's extended to you.
He's not good at the emotional stuff, at comforting words but he reasons that you probably don't need to hear it right now. Don't need to be reminded of your mistakes, of your past.
Instead, he pulls you into him, wrapping his warmth around you like a giant weighted blanket. Holding you until you accept his affection and melt into his arms.
Meanwhile, the False Facers can't breach Bruces security, can't get a good look into the Manor. Which means they don't know what you're doing there. But they know you're there, and that means Roman knows you're there.
And Romans not stupid, you sneaky, no good, selfish whore.
He gave you everything, and this is how you repay him? You nasty little bitch. And with Bruce Wayne of all people?
Don't get comfy, because the moment you step outside those gates, the second you let your walls down, he's going to rock your shit. You're going to pay for all the crap you've put him through, tenfold.
Taglist: @wandalfnation
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callofdudes · 3 days
Note
*presents to you* price being a father figure to you and bringing you back to meet his wife where she treats you like her child 😭😭😭😭
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Three makes a family.
John Price's history with his inability to have children was a rough one. His wife was a gentle woman with the heart of a lion inside. She had all the care a mother could provide and no children she could pour her love into. It was a struggle, but over the years they'd made due with themselves.
The idea of adoption has come up a few times, but John doesn't like the thought of being away so much from said child. It just wasn't a good situation they had found themselves in.
Price creating the 141 was just one of those ways that Price felt what it might be like to have family. Sure, he got his fair experience of what rounding up a gaggle of children would have been like. But he enjoyed the feeling of having fellow adults he could meet on his level while feeling paternal toward them.
You are one of them.
Price has had his fair share of wild run ins with you. And he's no stranger to getting you and John for something. But you were a good soldier regardless.
Talk of his family was limited of course. You guys knew he didn't have children, but not much more than that. Simon had been to the house before but refused to tell, it wasn't the greatest time when you visited anyway.
But now it's your turn to take up the mantle. Price's wife had decided she wanted company over at the house when he returned, so he invited one of you in secret as to not make the others potentially jealous or crowd his wife.
And that's how you got here, in the busy rush of the airport and following Price like a loet lamb to find the exit after grabbing your bags. Price looked around for his wife, and he spotted a sign with his name, and the most beautiful woman.
He smiled and led you over, falling in love all over again when he saw her.
"John!" She put the sign down and rushed to hug him, his firm arms curling around her. "Rebecca." *He replied fondly, kissing the top of her head. She had chest length blonde hair and a simple but lovely complexion.
You couldn't help a little smile at seeing them reunited, and a tad sheepish at meeting your captain's wife.
She opened her eyes, still smooshed against his chest and waved at you softly.
You waved back shyly.
They pulled away and Rebecca held out her hand to you. "Rebecca, and you are-"
"Everyone on base calls me Egg."
"Ah, John has told me a lot about you." She motioned for you two to follow her, walking with you back to the entrance of the airport.
"Wait- what has he been saying??" You cocked an eyebrow up.
"Only good things I promise." Price said quickly, to which Rebecca chuckled and shook her head softly.
You shot Price a look, and he innocently turned his head away to look back at his wife like nothing happened.
Rebecca gave you an entire window tour on the way back. You didn't mind listening to her introduce you to everything you passed. Her tone was warm and her smile never left her lips when he addressed you. It made you feel welcome, it was such a warm feeling that you felt around Price. Fitting.
Their house was beautiful, as much as London homes are, but theirs had a particular charm to it. Like a newly wed couple buying their first house together and never moving.
You lugged your bags up the driveway and into the house behind Rebecca, Price keeping the door open for you.
"Your place is nice." You commented when you put your bags down.
"Thank you. The spare bedroom is upstairs, I'll show you." She slipped her shoes off and motioned for you to follow.
The spare bedroom was a queen mattress, the walls were a light baby blue, and it made you smile. "Child's room?" You asked without thinking, and soon realizing your mistake.
Rebecca smiled, though her eyes dimmed in sadness. "We'd hoped. But you can have it." She went to the closet and pulled out some extra blankets. "In case it gets cold you can layer up. And if you need anything in here don't hesitate to tell us."
You nodded. "Thank you, I will."
Price squeezed your shoulder as you went to set up the room, and then turned to greet his wife properly with a loving kiss.
---
The first couple days at the house were nice, Rebecca was incredibly hospitable. She accommodated what you needed, and the double attention from Price was a win for you.
Rebecca couldn't help seeing you as a kiddo for her to take care of. The way Price was with you, wrapping an arm around you for snuggles or teasing you at dinner.
"Do you like cookies??" She asked from the kitchen as she kneaded the small balls of cookie dough and placed them on a tray.
"Cookies sound good. What kind??" You looked over at her from the table.
"Just chocolate chip. I figured I'd go simple."
You smiled a little. "Yeah, that sounds nice."
She nodded and finished putting the cookies on the tray and slid them into the oven. "They'll be out in a bit." She came by and gently patted your shoulder, a comforting touch from her.
Price came in from the patio after having a smoke and coughed when he walked in.
Rebecca and you both looked at him when he entered.
"John, be careful." Rebecca scolded softly, walking over and lifting his chin, seeing his tired eyes. She sighed softly and took his hand. "Go relax darling, a nap will do you more good than a cigar."
He hummed and shrugged. He tiredly stole a kiss from her lips before he had to lean into his arm to cough again.
You put your phone down and lightly shake your head. "Come on Captain."
Price huffed indignantly. "Oh so now both of you are policing me around??" He smirked and tugged Rebecca in by her waist and allowed you over.
But he didn't fight, allowing himself to be led to bed, and he flopped down, feeling you curl up to his left side, and Rebecca got comfy with a book at his other.
Price squeezed her hand and ruffled your hair. He wasn't old, but mannnn, he loves his old man naps.
You smiled as you got comfy, looking up at Rebecca. She looked back at you and smiled too, letting you rest.
And you woke up to the delicious smell of chocolate chip cookies. Price searched lazily for Rebecca, his arm still securely wrapped around you.
You yawned and rolled, hiding against his chest. He patted your shoulder and looked over at the door. "C'mon... I smell cookies."
"Ok..." You groaned and managed to drag yourself off of Price's chest and follow him downstairs where Rebecca was reading at the table.
"Cookies are ready." She said when she heard you two, smiling softly.
"Thank you, darling." Price said sleepily, going to the stove and taking up a cookie.
You hummed excitedly and also went for one. "Gooey." You said between bites, "I like them."
"I'm glad I could make them for you two."
She was like Price to you, a strong rock, and a warm embrace. She was like a mother, and that made you happy as much as it did her. She'd give anything to be a mother, and she wasn't picky of who it was she got to cherish.
(I know there's a lot of her character we've digested over a long time, this was the best I could come up with. I'm on a time crunch but take this. 🙂)
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jpitha · 2 days
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Hospitality
Meandering River and Q'ari sit in the canteen during midday break chatting and drinking some herbal tea. The Humans introduced both the drink and the meal. They call it 'Lunch' and while only the Humans seem to need the calories supplied by the meal, the break and the tea has proven to be a big hit among the other sapients...so long as they stay away from the poisonous teas. There are a lot of poisonous teas. Most everyone can have chamomile though.
The conversation meanders as they do, and eventually, they both come to talking about things they've noticed about the humans, one of the more recent additions to the Coalition. Everybody has their own cultural and biological quirks, but the conversations has been steering towards the humans lately. Everyone is a little too quick to point out that It's not that they're... weird, it's just the differences.
Q'ari puts her tea down with a clink on the small porcelain saucer. "Did you know that the Humans have a whole thing about being nice to visitors? It’s called 'hospitality' and they have almost entire religions about it!"
"What? They have religions about being nice to people you meet?" Meandering River said, as her feathers rustle, reflecting shimmering colors.
"Pretty much! My guess is that living on their world is so hard that they just felt obligated to help people who were passing through their village or peer group or whatever. The idea was that no matter who shows up - even their enemy - you give them a meal and a bath and let them have a nap and point them towards where they need to go if they're lost." Q'ari took another sip of tea. "You weren't even supposed to ask them questions about who they were or what they were doing!"
Meander was baffled. "But that makes no sense! What if the person was going to hurt you or your group? You had no way of knowing. Better to just let them pass by, and not interact."
"Yes, but the idea is the next time it was you traveling, you'd get help from others too." Nancy said from behind them.
Q'ari fur poofed out and Meander's feathers rippled in surprise and they both slid their chairs back to jump away before stopping themselves and sitting down, tea spilled everywhere. Predator/Prey reactions were deeply ingrained in Innari and Sefigans, and Humans were exceptionally good predators, even when they didn't mean to be.
"Sorry! Sorry!" Nancy said, seeing their reaction. "I didn't mean to startle you! I just heard you talking about hospitality. People everywhere don't treat it like the religion it used to be, but it's still a common thing that people do. Here -" she said gesturing on her pad "Let me buy you both another Tea to say sorry for spilling yours. Chamomile, right? I feel so badly about startling you."
"I-It's all right, we know you didn't mean to." Meander says, smoothing their feathers automatically. We were just fascinated by the concept of hospitality. Please, join us." She gestures towards a chair.
Nancy sits down, and wipes away some of the spilled tea with a napkin. "Being polite to strangers is just something that's taught from an early age. It's not done everywhere, and it's not done the same way, but it's still done. It's... complicated though." Nancy said, as a serv platform came over with two fresh cups of tea. After it had left, she continued. "Codifying being nice to strangers and offering them a place to stay and food to eat is a way that people could travel in the time before money and hotels, but also, it could be used as a shield against forming real friendships."
"What do you mean by that? If you're inviting strangers into your house, wouldn't that help make friends?" Meander said, blowing on her tea to cool it slightly.
"Well, it could. But if the whole process is ritualized and formal, then you could use it to keep 'foreign' people at arms length. Sure, you'd invite them in, let them sleep, bathe, eat, but you'd send them on their way in the morning and that would be it. There would be no connection, no friendship. There is a long, long history of being nice without being friendly."
"It's all very confusing." Q'ari said. "There seems to be a lot of implied connections, and ritualized actions that on the surface appear kind, but may - or may not - be, depending on thousands of different things."
Nancy nodded. "Hey, things are never black and white. There is always nuance. I'm sure it's even the same way between you and your people. Q'ari, you're not originally from Sef, the homeworld, right?"
Q'ari's teddy bear shaped ears waggled. "That's right. I grew up on Llamanian, one of our middle tier colony worlds."
"And even though you are a Sefigan citizen, when you go to Sef sometimes you get treated like an outsider, right?"
"Well, I suppose a bit, yes." Q'ari's finely laquered claws slid out of their sheaths, just a centimeter. "They say that my gelbin isn't the same as on Sef. Er, that's a traditional vegetable dish." She adds, for their benefit.
Meander's crest slides up and then back down. "I've had your gelbin Q'ari, it's delicious! What could possibly be wrong?"
She shrugs, a decidedly human gesture. "The spices are wrong, they say. We have different versions due to the ecology and soil of Llamanian, even if I were to use the exact same spices in the exact same proportions, it wouldn't taste the same."
"It's not just humans. Everyone has things that are different, and people - no matter which sapient group they are - will use those differences against them sometimes." Nancy said, taking a sip of tea. "Knowing that it happens, and keeping an eye out for it, and having some understanding, can go a long way. But, that doesn't mean we shouldn't be nice to strangers when we meet them. After all, they might be the Gods in disguise!" Nancy's eyes sparkle when she said that."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you see a people called the Greeks believed that..."
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dorthyanndrarry · 2 days
Text
Unknown -4-
Tags: Angst, Post war deatheater prejudice, light injuries, chronic illness, post war trauma, dark magic, blood magic, alcohol use/abuse, self destructive behaviors,
Suggested rating: Teen
<- Part 3 ||
Draco pushed a small pea around his plate with his fork. He had eaten everything served but the peas and carrots. Popo was otherwise an exemplary house elf chef except when it came to vegetables, which he would only prepare boiled. Sometimes, Popo might add a little butter if he was feeling fancy. This was not a fancy day.
He looked over at his mother's plate, she had eaten a few bites of the chicken, and most of the rice. He had been dawdling, hoping she might eat a bit more but it seemed unlikely. Narcissa was leaning back in her chair, slowly turning the stem of the still full glass of wine in front of her. She looked distant. Whether from exhaustion or memories, Draco couldn't hazard to guess.
Draco cleared his throat, "Did you happen to look at the papers I left you? From the realtor?"
Narcissa's hand stilled on her wine glass.
"I thought the country estate in Kent looked quite good, it's muggle but quite removed, the nearest neighbor is-"
"We're not leaving," Narcissa said shortly.
Draco stifled a sigh. "...Of course not," he said reassuringly, "it would just be for the summer, a nice summer holiday. The sea air would be good for your health." If he could just get her there, get her away from this place then-
"I'm fine, Draco, perfectly fine," Narcissa said, lifting her chin imperiously and sitting up straighter. "You are needed here, at the Manor. It's where you belong."
"Mother-"
"You are the head of the house now. The reputation of the Malfoy's must be restored-"
"Mother, I don't-"
"I know it will take a great deal of work, Narcissa continued, talking over him without any sign of hearing him speak, "but your Father and I did it after the first war, and we can do it again."
Draco put his fork down and picked up his wine glass, taking a deep swallow as his mother went on and on. About Ministry positions, as if they'd hire him to even clean the floors, making connections, if he could find anyone of influence that would speak to him, marriage and heirs- Draco snorted into his cup, pouring the rest down his throat. That would never happen. He refused to inflict the toxic name of Malfoy on another person.
The only idea his mother had that might work was making charitable donations to popular causes. Because money was all they had left. That would at least get them a few people being willing to tolerate them, to their faces, anyway.
Draco refilled his glass and lifted it to his lips. The wine was filling his mind with a soft hazy feeling that made it easier to swallow all those words that were always just behind his teeth when his mother got into one of these rants. Otherwise, he was afraid he might begin shouting, might shake his mother by the shoulders to try and get some sense into her.
"Mother." Draco interrupted tersely, "You just made me promise not to go out by myself anymore. Remember?"
Narcissa looked at him through narrowed eyes before looking away dismissively. "Working at the Ministry would be different. No one would dare hurt you there."
"Sure," Draco muttered into his glass.
Narcissa delicately folded the napkin in her lap and placed it on her mostly uneaten dinner. "I'm feeling a bit tired. I think I will retire early tonight."
Draco went to stand.
Narcissa held up her hand, waving him back into his seat as she stood. "I'm fine to walk on my own."
"Are you-"
"I'm sure," Narcissa said. She smiled tiredly and brushed a kiss across Draco's temple, "We can talk more about this later. I shall see you in the morning."
"Sleep in," Draco said hopefully, "We can have brunch."
"We'll see," Narcissa said as she stepped out into the hall.
Draco reached across the table and picked up his mother's glass of wine, drinking as his mind churned with frustration. It seemed like no matter what he said or did, his mother would not let go of this place, this family, this legacy. He scowled as he finished the glass, grabbed the wine bottle, and poured out the last few swallows. Again, he was unable to leave the past behind. He couldn't even move to the continent because his mother was not allowed to leave the UK as part of her probation.
He picked up the wine bottle and frowned at its emptiness.
"Libbi!" He called impatiently.
The elf appeared at his elbow, watching him with a distant expression. "Yes. Libbi is here."
"Whiskey, " Draco said.
Libbi snapped her fingers, and a bottle of amber liquid and a tumbler appeared before him.
"Thank you," Draco said, but Libbi was already gone.
Draco plucked the stopper out of the crystal decanter. He only meant to pour in a splash of whiskey but accidentally filled half the glass. He pressed his fingers into his temples as he took a swallow large enough to make him wince.
"Fuck it," Draco muttered and stood up. The world swam around him, and he grabbed the back of his chair for support. He finished the whiskey with another swallow and wince, putting the glass down. There was a sound of shattering glass as it fell through the wavering edges of the table and shattered on the ground. It was probably an heirloom, some elf crystal or something.
Draco snorted derisively, steering himself around his chair and out the door. He kept one hand on the wall as he walked down the hallway, knocking over an empty plinth he could have sworn wasn't there before.
He went back to the library.
Draco pulled the pin from his cloak as he made his way to the stone wall. His hand slipped and cut a large gash across his palm, but he hardly felt it.
He smeared a streak of blood across the stones, "Open." Nothing happened, and he frowned. "No, it's..." his brow furrowed, "My blood, something... by my blood open?"
Draco stumbled back as the stones unfolded and revealed the hidden bookshelf. The metal bar was held in place by a clever metal latch, something that a spell couldn't open because it wasn't really a lock. His hands were frustratingly clumsy as he twisted and slid the metal pieces until the metal bar came free and swung out on a hinge.
Draco leaned close, squinting at the line of books until he spotted the book from before. He jerked it out of the row, trying not to touch the other books and sending three tumbling to the floor. Draco quickly stepped back from the fallen books in case they were the biting kind.
The book in his hands was cold to the touch and smelled faintly of dried blood. Draco didn't bother reading through it, flipping past pages promising him riches, power, and revenge; none of it was what he wanted.
He wanted to start over.
That's all he wanted.
Draco fumbled out his wand, nearly dropping the book. He paused before casting, clearing his throat and enunciating as clearly as he could. His wand movements were stiff as he focused hard to keep them true.
"Accio a new life."
The pages fluttered past and fell open on a spell called ' Relegati Obliterum'. Draco stared at it for a long time, trying to remember his Latin instruction from the years before Hogwarts. The obliterum was Latin for forget; the same word was used in the obliviate spell. So it had to be some variation of obliviation, but it was based on runes cast from a spell circle. Which meant... meant...
"Fuck, what does that mean again?" Draco rubbed his eyes. "Fucking Hogwarts, and it's fucking limited curi... curicu? classes."
Draco snapped the book closed. "Spell circles cast outward from the centre! So- to to make everyone not in the circle forget, and if they forget what I did, then- then I can start over."
A shiver of excitement ran down his spine. This was it. This was the key. He couldn't cast it here, though. There wasn't enough room. And there would be questions if his mum happened upon it. That was no good.
He went to his suite of rooms, retrieving the decanter of whiskey as he passed the dining room. His new rooms were at the end of the east wing. They were never used when he was young and mostly ignored during the war. Draco had moved into them the day he returned from his trial.
Draco spent most of his days in his potion lab, only returning to his rooms to sleep. The small sitting room had a single ratty armchair by the fireplace, the floo always kept closed. The adjoining bedroom had an old four-poster, the curtains pulled down and vanished, an ancient wardrobe and a threadbare rug on the floor.
Without a glass, Draco drank directly from the heavy crystal bottle, spilling more than a couple of times as he rolled up the rug and shoved it out of the way, the oak floorboards beneath the carpet lighter than the floor around it.
He conjured a piece of chalk and used a charm to draw the central circle and inner ring. It only took a few couple many tries, but he got it. There were no charms for drawing sigils, at least none he could remember. So, on hands and knees, sweat dripping off his nose and soaking into the wood, Draco sketched the sigils by hand. The cut on his hand kept reopening, blood staining the chalk and markings, making it hard to hold.
His knees were screaming in pain by the time he was done. He stumbled to his feet, legs nearly giving out under him. The whole world spun, and his stomach lurched. Draco grabbed hold of the bedpost for dear life, squeezing his eyes shut, a tear slipping down his cheek.
Draco went to grab the book sitting on his duvet. His foot hit the whiskey bottle, and he almost fell, catching himself on the bed. Draco gasped, startled and upset. He kicked the bottle across the room. His chest was squeezing so tight it hurt; he felt sick.
Draco took a deep breath and roughly scrubbed the moisture collecting in the corner of his eyes. He grabbed the book and stepped into the circle's centre, careful not to smudge the lines. The instructions said something about saying the incantation unencumbered. Draco couldn't remember what that meant. He wasn't sure he cared.
His eyes kept blurring as he tried to read the incantation, a mix of latin and something else he didn't recognise. He traced the words with his finger as he said them, still careful to enunciate even as he was foolish to be casting it at all. The sigils began to glow one by one as he spoke, the glow becoming brighter and brighter until the light became fire and burned him away.
-
goddamn writing is a lot harder than I remember it being😥
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@dewitty1 thank you❤
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buddiekinard · 2 days
Text
several sentences sunday
so no one tagged me (this week) but this is the first time in a while i actually have something i'm actively working on. i posted something maybe last week or two weeks ago but that version of the story has actually been scrapped because i regathered my thoughts. anyway i wrote a couple thousand words today and i just wanted to post a little bit of it. i don't think i've been this invested in/stressed about writing something for a very long time. i've been plotting out this fic for months and i've been living and breathing it, so here's a little bit of it for you.
'tis the damn season au, buddie, aka the fic where buck and his parents moved to el paso and buck went to high school with eddie and shannon, and now he's coming back for a visit (set in 911-time during s3 when buck isn't allowed back to work - instead of suing everyone, buck goes home)
His phone starts ringing.  Of course Eddie hadn’t just texted back. 
Of course Eddie is calling him.
“Hey.” “Hey, Evan.  I wasn’t sure you’d ever want to speak again.”
“Please, call me Buck.  Everyone calls me Buck.”
“Right,” Eddie says.  “Right, you said that.”
“I’m in El Paso.” Buck fumbles with the hem of his t-shirt, nervously.  It’s so annoying that he hasn’t just let himself turn up to Eddie’s parents, asking where he can find Eddie.  Helena had always loved him.  She wouldn’t question his presence even a little bit.  She would probably give him a big hug and invite him in for coffee.  He’s just not sure he has that right or place in Eddie’s life anymore.
After all, he was the one who’d taken off.
“You’re - “ There’s a long pause on the other end of the line and then Buck hears the click of a door.  “You’re here?”
“Yeah, I had to get out of LA.  I was feeling a little suffocated and a lot lost.  I’m at my parents’ house.”
“Did you talk to Shannon?”
“Yeah.” Buck closes his eyes.  “You didn’t tell me you were divorced.” “You didn’t exactly give me the chance.” There’s nothing tense in Eddie’s voice, not like Buck would expect.  He sounds light, sarcastic, like the Eddie Buck remembers from all the way back in high school when everything between them was just so easy.
“No, I guess I didn’t.” “Hey, so, I don’t work tomorrow.  Do you want - we can just, you know.  Hang out, like old times or whatever.”
Buck wants to ask what kind of old times he means.  The ones where he, Eddie, and Shannon would waste the day sitting in the Whataburger parking lot listening to shitty music and sharing a cigarette or the kind in that short window of time where the two of them would go find somewhere to park and make out sloppy in Eddie’s truck.  Or maybe the time they tried to get the fuck away from this town together, before they knew Shannon was pregnant, when Buck really thought he and Eddie could be EvanAndEddie for real.  He doesn’t ask.
“Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.  It’ll be nice to catch up.”
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ratatatastic · 5 days
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"ive played in a canadian market ive been in st louis in the summer they won—ive never seen buzz like this" "we're really lucky we get to play hockey in such a nice place" the C and A clocking in on their Praise South Florida as a Hockeytown shift
2024-25 Media Day | 9.18.24 (x)(x)
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lynxfrost13 · 1 month
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I think about Officer Yeong and I want to scream and eat drywall she is EVERYTHING to me
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hella1975 · 1 year
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the closest ill ever get to being a pick me girl is the joy that fills me when the chefs at work so clearly favouritise me. like im there nicely cleaned up in my smart-casual uniform just a 20 year old waitress smiling my customer service smile and behind me spawns Scary Dog Privilege 10x in the form of several burly middle-aged chefs at least three of which have criminal records and would all stick a bread knife in someone for bothering me
#like it's really funny bc i worked HARD with back of house bc i knew my job would be significantly easier if they liked me#(it speeds your orders through. you can ask for things without being told to fuck off during a rush. they'll get you food on shift etc)#and also there's a stereotype especially in fancier places where floor staff look down on kitchen staff and i think that's shitty#so i was always going to be try with them and be nice but ALSO when i first started my job it was in a peak era so while these days#we're struggling a lot and have had to employ a lot of college kids that dont know what they're doing#when i joined it was all private school girls that would swan about the place very snootily. so the divide between front and back of hosue#was INTENSE when i joined. and there i was a little state school girlie and the chefs immediately recognised that#and took me under their wing. so even though the class angle doesnt exist so much anymore and theres majority state schoolers#im still very much in with the chefs in a way not many of the other floor staff are. and there's also the fact im not scared of them#like chefs ARE rude and a lot of them DONT like or even respect floor staff but i will GLADLY tell them to fuck off if i think it necessary#and that's a language they understand like ironically there's one chef that doesnt get on with ANY of the waitresses#(i talked about him on another post he's the soup one) but he likes me bc when he tried that rude dismissive act i told him to shove it#and now the other waitresses literally SEND ME TO TALK TO HIM when they have questions/want something bc they know he'll listen to me#and me and the head chef are besties and the one kp will talk OVER THE OTHER WAITRESSES' heads and completely blank them#so she can talk to me and it's all just really funny bc the kitchen staff LOVE me and that's not even me being arrogant#it's like a known thing at work that they love me and im just. a 20 year old 5'2 waitress with my little pearl necklace and blouse#and some tattooed ginger mohawked 6ft chef is there getting angry for me when i come in complaining about a table#or the kp that is literally on probation will give me a sticky toffee pudding and tell everyone to leave me the fuck alone LMAO#hella slaves to capitalism
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muttsandmustelidae · 3 months
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i regret to inform all of my fellow socially awkward kings that Practicing Talking Good actually helps. u have to make small talk at the grocery store sometimes to get better at speaking to people u don’t know very well. it sucks but if u keep trying it will eventually NOT suck and will in fact be fun and nice
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ayyponine · 2 months
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not to be a milennial but harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban really is that bitch....
#mom wanted to rewatch the movies so we've been going thru them <3#talk about a movie thats just like. grief. i turn into the jamie lee curtis halloween trauma supercut#SORRY..... the visuals are peak like that IS the hp vibe to ME and i am BLOWN AWAY this movie was made in 2004 it feels ahead of its time#the first two are so whimsical and magical enrapturing and this movie is like. a well worn cardigan. this feels 2011 cozycore to me#sorry but the introduction of lupin becoming a comforting trusted guardian type of figure AND the dementors representing hollow depression#this 13 yr old whos been kept in the dark on so many things being extra vulnerable prey to them bc of the severe trauma#but getting lessons on how to withstand that creeping dread.. through happy memories... still bonding w lupin increasngly ouagh...#the grief between them both over james and lily. also btw ofc defense against the dark arts being fighting yr fears through laughter. aaaaaa#and then sirius. black. im. i know we meme on the twelve years of it! in azkaban! but as a bitch whos now closer to those characters in age#and can appreciate and understand them obv more than i could when i was. a tween. that just hits like ok shit. VALID#so valid and real to see the child of your friends you knew at that age but who DIED and then see the friend who betrayed them#to see like the best of BOTH of them mirrored and living on in him and be like yknow what???? you WILL be protected frm that same fate#hoooo the briefest moment where harry might hope things will turn out okay. w sirius' name being cleared and peter having to explain himself#and sirius being like hey i get it if you want to stay w your family that is fine but. if you wanna move in w me...#(harry relaying this to hermione later as well. dreaming of a place fr just the two of them somewhere in the countryside#somewhere..... sirius might see the sky..... bc he thinks he would like that after all those years locked up do not even touch me rn.......)#only fr everything to turn to shit two friends fighting w deadly force. the chance to set this right slipping off into the night.#a million dementors descending relentlessly until utter exhaustion and certain death. some strange salvation? fight for a second chance?#but then still havign to say goodbye when they only just GOT this. and everything still being so. god. and lupin having to leave as well.#the thought of sirius also WANTING that guardian type connection but being forced to live in 1. a cave barely living more freely than before#2. then being confined to the stuffy somber abusive home he ran away from as a teen w that portrait still up there and everything.. bitch...#oh man the way i KNOW when we get to ootp (my favourite) its gonna leave me blasted into a million little pieces#the way i know shit like the knowing wink the entirety of the wall tapestry room scene and of course nice one james is gonna DESTROY me..#dont even talk to me abt that dark turn at the end of gof and how everything after gets soooo. god. w everything just getting destroyed and.#i cant even think abt it i cant even talk about it. wah#i dont care btw that they aged those guys up undermining how insanely young these people died. perfect casting fr the remaining marauders ok
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