#but it’s Dazai so I mean

[crowscadence]

BSD as things I’ve heard in band

Tachihara: Who wants to do some carpool kareoke?!

Akutagawa: I’d rather you skin and boil me alive

Yosano: They were like “should we medicate her?” and I said no because I didn’t want to lose my sparkle

Ranpo: I don’t have to worry about that because my sparkle is autism

Kunikida: *sigh* I’ve been afflicted by Dazai’s bullshit

Dazai: hey scoot over a bit

Chuuya: no you’re not my master

Dazai: actually I am, be my dog

Dazai, holding just the head of a dog-shaped cookie jar: Isn’t he cute?

Atsushi: Dazai why do you have a dog head

Dazai: The rest of the body is in my bag :)))

Atsushi: That doesn’t make it any better-

Dazai: Hey, did you hear who just got asked out?

Chuuya: Who?

Dazai: You *finger guns*

Atsushi, running from Akutagawa: Help, I’m being attacked by a wild emo!

*15 Dazai and Chuuya arguing over the plural of penis*

Mori: you two are making me question my life choices

Nikolai: What if edible p*rn was a thing?

Sigma: please never say those words in that order ever again

Dazai, after a mission: You know Atsushi you’re really not beating those furry allegations

Atsushi: yeah I saw that one coming

Kenji: Going to Paris without seeing Versailles is like going to New York for the first time and not seeing the Tilted Towers

Kyouka: …Kenji that's from fortnite

Yosano: well you may be the best walking condom ad I’ve ever seen

(This quote would fit so many)

Ango: nothing like a government website to keep you up at 2AM

(this was from my band director)

Kunikida, talking about Dazai: The fact that he’s not responding to my texts right now is bull because there’s no way that sleep-deprived, caffeine-addicted twink isn’t awake

Dazai: this is the face of a professional

Atsushi: that’s the face of a fucking idiot

Kunikida, talking about his headcanonned college experience: do you know what kind of foul things come out of frat guys’ mouths?

Dazai: no but I know what foul things probably go in them

Akutagawa: I must be a poison type because I can’t stop fucking koffing

Dazai, mocking fyodor: what’s the point of saying meow if it’s not in a Russian accent?

Dazai: I dunno about you but Tom Riddle could grease my cork

Dazai: never thought I’d see the day when I’d be handcuffed in the band room but okay

Ranpo, putting on sunglasses inside: gotta rep that autism

*Dazai bitching and moaning about sore muscles*

Atsushi: be glad for the pain, it means you’re alive

Dazai: bitch you know I’m suicidal

Dazai, holding up a brightly colored Hawaiian shirt: oh my god guys this is the shirt I wore to emergency therapy after trying to off myself

Albatross: do y’all think I could pull off a black turtleneck or would I just look like that kid from The Incredibles

[originalartblog]

I'm gonna force them to take care of themselves even if I have to resort to weird AU scenarios that have no explanation

(tiny Chuuya is using his own ability: mini-gravity manipulation)

[lotus-pear]

bsd rewatch w my friend means obligatory art of my fav found family ever

[sabh0]

Guys he's escaping someone stop him

Also chuuya with glasses bc

[sableeira]

this is the same man btw. what is in that poison? gay juice?

[kyouka-supremacy]

SOUKOKU & SHIN SOUKOKU | Illustrations by Sango Harukawa for Bungo Stray Dogs Second Exhibition

[moonstainn]

You with the dark curls you with the watercolour eyes 💞

[noose-lion]

The fandom always making Chuuya out to be a raging alcoholic simply because he likes and collects wine and gets drunk at bars with his coworkers.

Dazai, alone in his room: 🍶🍶🍶🍶🍶🍶

[benetnvsch]

thx Dazai

[karmicpunishment]

there's like two common bsd plot misconceptions i see that i rarely see people talk about so here (also feel free to correct me if i'm actually wrong lol):

"Fyodor wrote Sigma into the book"

Nope! We don't know who wrote Sigma into the book. It might've been Fyodor but that would require him having access to either the book or another page of the book, which is unlikely considering he's been looking for it like the whole plot and had to use Sigma's ability to find the page the special divison had from Chief Taneda.

"Mori always knew Tachihara was a spy"

He actually found out from the Agency, more specifically Yosano's account, before Tachihara returned to the Mafia post Sky Casino arc.

Even Dazai didn't know about Tachihara until this point.

i might add more to this if i remember more of them

[juthemagicalclown]

is chūya ever canonically acknowledged as particularly beautiful (even compared to other good-looking characters)? cos he is so pretty it should be a sin

i imagine 15 year old soukoku in a mission...

their target : mhpf, so what do you want from me, pretty boy?

chuya : we-

dazai : hey what about me?

target, confused : ???

dazai : you called him 'pretty', i am obviously far prettier than him!

target : ...

target, at chuya : what's your mummy friend's problem?

chuya : ...trust me, i've been wondering the very same since the day i met him

[altruistic-meme]

i was reading about black holes and the effects they have and i learned that gravity has an active effect on time. like the way that clocks hands move faster on an airplane than they do on the ground, because of the earth's gravitational pull which causes time to move faster the further away you are from the center of gravity.

anyway something something Dazai feeling like time slows down when he gets too close to Chuuya and he keeps trying to rationalize that it makes no sense because CLEARLY he doesn't have feelings for Chuuya and it's just his minds playing tricks on him, but it genuinely just IS because of Chuuya's gravity manipulation fucking with the way time behaves around him and Dazai just happens to get physically close enough to Chuuya to feel the actual effects of it

[originalartblog]

oh whoops sorry I'll come back later 🫣

(and thank you @sensitiveheartless for being responsible for this 💖)

[t4t-dazai]

i think im hilarious

[askchuuyanakahara]

Dazai does Chuuya know how you’re only ever nice to him when he’s asleep/unconscious

@megaroniandcheez

Dazai: "I'm not going to do anything to him."

Dazai: "I don't have a pen to draw on his face."

Dazai: "I doubt Chuuya would want me here in the morning."

Dazai: "I should probably feed her. Chuuya'd probably get annoyed if he finds out he fell asleep instead of waking up to feed her in time."

Dazai: "About this much, right? Ah well, I guess a bit of under or over feeding wouldn't hurt.."

Dazai: "Now then.."

Dazai: "Bye bye, Chuuya."

[lotus-pear]

BOY WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT NEW CHAPTER........