#but it's not like. insanely important to me

[tibby-art]

hitman au save me .. its been seven years ..

haven’t been able to draw/write much of this au lately but i want to write a few little scene snippets i have stored my brain :’D ill include them under cut

=+=

“This better be something good,” Scar muttered to Cub as they stepped out of the elevator. The hitman, while bound to his contract, considered ‘boring’ missions to be a waste of his time.

“I hope so,” Cub hummed. “Hope so.”

The ConVex swung open the doors to the NHO conference room, not bothering to check if their bosses were actually ready for their meeting.

“Holy mother of—! Knock next time, will you?” A man setting files down on the conference table jumped visibly as the doors slammed open.

“The Vex require a dramatic entrance, Beef,” Scar said casually. Cub snickered.

“Sure, whatever.” Beef furrowed his brow, used to this behavior. He didn’t have time for this. “Okay. Doc was supposed to do this briefing, but he’s busy with his machines I guess, because of course he is, so.” He huffed, composing himself. “Your new top-secret project. This one’s a doozy. Have a look.”

Beef slid the folder across the table. The hitmen flipped it open, absorbing its contents with hungry eyes.

What caught their eyes immediately were the photos. The person of interest looked nothing like a powerful crime boss or a dangerous anomaly. A young adult with glasses, dark eyes and short, sandy brown hair stared back at them.

“Who’s this?” Scar raised an eyebrow. Is the NHO asking them to assassinate some normal-looking university student?

“That is Grian,” Beef explained, both hands planted firmly on the table. “Grian has been with us at the NHO for months.”

“I’ve never seen him before,” Scar remarked.

“Grian’s case is top-secret. He’s been staying in high-security, private quarters… as well as our research laboratories.”

“I thought you guys seemed super suspicious lately! I knew they were hiding something from us, Cub,” Scar nudged his partner with a grin. Cub did not budge as his sharp eyes combed through the documents. He hadn’t heard a single word spoken to him.

“Cub? What’s the deal?” Scar asked. He preferred to let Cub read their mission files and summarize it for him, anyways. Dyslexia and top-secret government files were not a great mix. Oh, what would he do without Cub?

“Watchers?” Cub finally spoke, looking up at Beef with a quizzical frown. The other man nodded slowly. “You’re kidding.”

“After months of testing and analysis, we can confirm that this individual is the only currently documented case of a mortal possessing Watcher abilities,” Beef nodded slowly.

Scar had heard whispers of the Watchers only a handful of times. As a vex, he knew plenty about the realm of magic, the divine, the fae, you name it! But Watchers were said to be ancient entities, perhaps as old as time itself. So old that they were widely considered to be a myth.

“So this is not a hit,” Scar said after a moment.

“This is not a hit, Scar, good lord, do not kill this person,” Beef put both hands on his forehead and let them slowly drag down his face.

“Mortal, you say?” Cub raised an eyebrow.

“Yep,” Beef said. “She was a completely normal citizen until he got these abilities in some freak accident. Lucky for everyone involved, the NHO was able to take control of the situation before anything… dangerous happened.”

“So,” Scar narrowed his eyes slightly, “If this isn’t a hit, then what do you want from us?”

Beef sighed. “After months of testing to determine Grian’s situation, the NHO has decided that he is too important to return to life as a normal citizen at this time. Instead, we’d like to utilize his abilities in our goals to maintain order in Hermit City, and we need someone to train her how to be a special agent in the field.”

“You want the ConVex to train a Watcher how to be a hitman,” Cub said with a slight smirk at just how insane that sounded.

“Yep.”

“Huh.” Scar put both hands on his hips. “Well, that’s not what I was expecting.”

“I suppose we could give it a shot,” Cub said. Although the ConVex were bound by a fae contract to work for the NHO, the vex took every opportunity to feign control over their situation. There was no choice here. Beef had given them an order.

“Sure, sure! We are very good at our jobs, after all,” Scar grinned. Whatever happened, good or bad, would at least be entertaining, surely.

“You’ll come back here to meet her tomorrow morning,” Beef instructed. “Hand me that file back and be here by 9, will you?”

“Sure thing,” Cub replied coolly, sliding the file back to the man. Scar couldn’t help but grin wider when he noticed Cub’s hand casually in his pants pocket, some folded white paper barely visible in his grip.

“Don’t be late. I’m serious this time,” Beef called out as the hitmen turned and exited the conference room.

=+=

The conference room was tense that morning. Towards the end of the table sat the NHO - Beef, Doc, Etho, and Bdubs. On one side sat Cub and Scar. Across from them, Grian sat alone.

“So, how about introductions?” Doc clapped his hands together. “Er… Cub and Scar, this is Grian. Grian, this is Cub and Scar. You guys already know the deal. Grian is going to come with you on missions from now on.”

The ConVex hadn’t taken their eyes off of Grian since they entered the room, unable to resist their curiosity. They had both read the files, but still found it hard to believe the person before them was a Watcher. Grian sat rigid in his chair, fiddling with his hands, looking tense and exhausted. She eyed the vex curiously as well.

“Well hello there,” Scar greeted. “I’m Scar, and this is Cub.”

“Hey, hey,” Cub said quietly.

“Hello,” The corner of Grian’s mouth twitched in a possible attempt at a smile.

The three continued to stare at each other until Bdubs cleared his throat.

“Wonderful introduction. Now that we’ve broken the ice, let’s talk about your next mission.” The man picked up a small remote, and the large screen on the wall behind them illuminated.

“Before we send our agents out into the field, we meet like this to discuss the details and ensure that the mission is clearly understood,” Doc explained to Grian, throwing a disapproving glare in the ConVex’s direction.

A lengthy file on some high-profile criminal appeared on the screen, as Bdubs proceeded to read off the information. Scar slumped back in his chair. These mission briefings were the worst. It was time to zone out and have Cub tell him the details later with all the fluff cut out.

At about ten minutes in, Scar yawned absentmindedly.

“Oh, are we boring you, sir?” Doc interrupted Bdubs to shoot a piercing stare at Scar.

“Oh, not at all!” Scar said cheerfully, but slumping in his chair slightly lower.

“As I was saying,” Bdubs continued loudly.

Scar glanced over at Grian. Her eyes quickly darted back to the presentation when they made eye contact. Scar looked over at Cub and found he had still not taken his eyes off of Grian. Hopefully Cub was at least somewhat paying attention, because he sure wasn’t.

Grian continued to fidget with his hands. Scar felt a pang of pity for him. The vex were used to this sort of environment, but according to the NHO, Grian had a completely normal life up until a few months ago. Now suddenly, he gains these terrifying powers and spends months in a top-secret lab having tests run on her all day. Who wouldn’t be overwhelmed?

Scar yawned again, this time more intentionally. He earned another death glare from Doc, but Bdubs droned on. He glanced over and saw Grian rubbing a hand on his cheek to help hide a grin.

The art of annoying your boss was a delicate one. Timing is everything. Let enough time pass until they’ve forgotten, or they think you’ve stopped, to continue the game. Scar lets about ten minutes pass before his next yawn, bigger this time.

“Quit it,” Beef hissed. Even Etho glanced over. Doc kept his eyes on the screen, but his jaw was clenched. Grian let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like a laugh.

Five minutes later, Cub clears his throat rather loudly. Bdubs stutters over his words for a second, but because Cub is Cub, none of the NHO seems to be able to tell if that was a deliberate cough or not, and they decide to ignore it. Cub shows no emotion.

After an hour that felt like an eternity of Bdubs explaining every possible detail about the case, it seemed to be almost concluded. That was, until a rather loud yawn was heard throughout the conference room.

“WILL YOU LET ME FINISH, FOR GOODNESS SAKE?!” Bdubs finally erupted, whipping around in his chair to face Cub and Scar.

The hitmen stared back blankly. They glanced over across the table, and Bdubs followed their gaze, where Grian sat with both arms over her head in a large stretch.

“Sorry,” Grian said simply when all eyes were on him, lowering his arms. “Just had to stretch a bit.” He stared back at Bdubs innocently.

The NHO stood there, confused. Bdubs was at a loss for words, unable to get a read on the new recruit. He sighed and turned back to the screen. “Well, regardless, I think we’ve about summed things up,” he grumbled.

Scar made eye contact with Grian once again. The two cracked a smile at one another for a second, too quick for the NHO to notice.

Scar had a feeling that him, Cub and Grian were going to get along just fine.

=+=

[mikakuna]

the fact that jason shared food with other hungry and homeless people when he was catatonic makes me feel so many emotions.

for one, it's so true to his character as a compassionate boy who gets so rightfully angry about the struggles impoverished communities have to continually face due to society's failures. this is the same boy who was homeless for about three years of his childhood, had to steal to survive, probably went long periods without food, and knew firsthand what it's like to actually be lonely. he's the boy who got mad at bruce for even insinuating he would drop jason off with the cops or social workers because he knew their true natures and how they treated poor kids, people, like him.

jason has always been about protecting and defending children and the defenceless to the point of disregarding moralities. we see this in his 80s robin run, as well as in utrh and lost days. his unmoving stance on their well-being is what's so captivating about him. he kills to protect children and easily agreed with/excused a woman who killed a rapist when he himself was only around 12-15 yrs old. sure, a bunch of people would agree with jason's reaction but it's especially important because he's a kid who grew up poor. he witnessed firsthand how many women have to suffer sexually at the hands of men to get by.

this is the real jason todd that so many comic writers now fail to capture in their comics. they completely turn him around and have him do things that in no way make sense to his character (not surprising since some literally admitted to hating him/not knowing enough about his robin run). jason todd is insanely compassionate-- that's his thing. he's empathetic to a fault. why erase that core part of his character?

[alibonbonn]

Of all mythological characters, Thetis' grief resonates the most with me. The loss of her son is so final, more final than mortals losing each other- mortals might still meet each other in the land of the dead when all comes to pass. Somehow her sorrow feels the most like grieving a loved one who was of a different religion, you know what I mean? Like...we're not going to the same place! and I hope they've made peace with that before their time.

[moneymartin]

・❥・- just for you.

summary: kate takes her anger out on you after a hard loss. (more gentle tho cause she doesn’t have the heart to hurt you 😞😞😞) + lil bit of aftercare at the end ;3

warnings: 18+ ASFUCK! SMUT MDNI! strap on use… lol

RPF!

a/n: ik i been lacking recently but i’ve grown some more motivation to do something since i’m kinda stuck at home. also almost broke my arm yesterday hahah 🥸 also not much dialogue tbh i’ve never been good at that cuz i dont talk to ppl 😭 AND i didn’t know how to end sozzzzzz!!!!

it was the toughest lost of kate’s college career, especially considering the fact that it was her last year at UOI. the only thing she wanted was to have the championship title, just once. but the team couldn’t do it.

you saw her put all her blood sweat and tears onto that court. the way she tried to make as many shots, as many blocks as she could, and as many fouls as she could draw. the way you watched her cry while she walked into the tunnel absolutely broke you.

when she got home the air between you two grew extremely thick. you couldn’t tell if she was angry or even over it at all. she wasn’t crying, just real quiet. and being the good girlfriend you were, you didn’t bother to push any of her buttons, no matter how much you wanted to just keep her company.

kate would either be sitting on the couch, on her phone, continuously walking around the apartment, sitting in random spots on the floor, in the kitchen. she’d be anywhere and everywhere. all she wanted to do was get her mind off of it, for a little bit.

“are you okay?” you speak amidst the quiet environment that had been lingering for god knows how many hours. you didn’t try to speak either because it felt like she’d just ignore you or give you a nasty look cause she wasn’t feeling so good about it. “i’m fine.” kate murmurs and looks up at you from the clasped hands on her face. the tone she gives you makes it known that she isn’t.

“yeah, right.” a scoff leaves from your lips and the mood changes almost immediately. your eyes dart towards kate and the look that she’s giving you makes it feel like a million daggers are being dug into your back. her face stiffens up and so does your body when you realize that she’s 100% angry.

you know that it isn’t your fault, but now it really feels like it was. “do you think that’s funny or something?” when you hear that, it’s obvious that you’ve fucked up. you can’t muster up anything in response cause you know that it’ll make it worse. not for her, but for you.

but there’s just something about kate that drives you insane when she’s fired up.

“no.” you swallow.

“exactly! don’t fuckin’ go around and laugh about it, if it isn’t funny! are we clear?”

she grunts and lets out a heavy breath when you stand there all quiet and unresponsive. she hates that. its the one thing that makes kate tick the most, other than losing a game that important to her. “answer me.”

you don’t respond. and the look of anger on kate’s face grows much more apparent. “c’mon!” she groans and quickly slides off of the bed. her fingers grip at the collar of your shirt, her rapid breaths brushing harshly against your face.

she tugs your body up against hers and a small whine escapes from in between your lips. kate is giving those eyes that make you shiver all over the place. “y- yes, we’re clear…” you choke out and look away. you can’t stand seeing her angry but its also the fact that it turns you on too.

your voice makes it seem like you aren’t very sincere about saying that though, and that makes her tick even more. kate’s teeth grit together and a sharp breath makes its way through them, her fingers inching closer towards the waistband of your jeans.

“yeah? you sure?” kate teases and starts to unbutton them. her voice deepens and the cold air that meets your now exposed skin makes the shivers feel more like a billion daggers going through your body. her hands cup your waist, a newfound lust taking over the look in kate’s eyes. “doesn’t seem so sincere…” she husks out.

“i mean it! god, you can’t believe me even when i mean it the most.” you sigh and stare at the jeans puddling around your feet. when you bend over to pick them back up and put them on again, kate’s fingers wrap around your sleeve and she pulls you up, drawing a quiet ‘tsk’ sound from your mouth. “just… let me fuck your brains out until i get you to really mean it.”

she tugs you up against her again, her front subtly grinding against yours. and now you can actually feel it. her stupid fucking strap. your eyes dart towards hers momentarily before they inch away. the embarrassment you feel is incredibly strong. you’re wet, and now you can’t even look her in the eyes.

before you even get a chance to speak, kate’s hand falls on the dip of your back and you’re face first into the foot of the mattress. the side of your head presses against it again to get a breather, the sound of kate unzipping her jeans rapidly, and the tip of the strap making contact with your body.

one of her hands grabs both of yours and pins them backwards, the other hand trailing up and down your body and towards the waistband of your panties. in one swift movement, they’re off and on the floor. you have no clue where, but they’re somewhere in that room. as much as you’re trying to resist, you can’t

“c’mon, baby. don’t fight it, please.” kate pleads and leans over your body to bury her face into your neck. her teeth dig into the side of it and you let out a wince, struggling to move your hands while she keeps them in a lock. kate’s breath tickles at your skin while she pulls away, the hand she has on your waist moving away to line herself up with your entrance.

she doesn’t even give you a warning before she slides in. the only thing that makes it known that you’re getting absolutely filled up is the groan kate lets out when she goes in all the way. you let out a huge whimper and eventually start to feel it. “fuck!… oh my god.” you babble and feel kate leaning toward your face again, her breathing hitting your skin, leaving behind dark marks on the base of your neck.

the more you moan and whine into the sheets, the more it fuels her to keep going. she thrusts into you as hard as she can, her hand letting go of the two she’s been holding, and yanks at your hair to pull your head up. “you fuckin’ feel that, baby? that’s all for you.” kate grunts, smashing her lips against yours and pulling your hair again. “just for you..” a hurried ‘mhm’ escapes your lips, your voice left limited.

your whimpers mix into the kiss as you constantly punch at the bed the harder she drives into you. her teeth tug at your bottom lip and your head moves away the more you feel yourself start to sweat uncontrollably. hair sticks to the side of your head and to your forehead, kate gently brushing them out of your face to keep that prolonged eye contact.

“you’re so beautiful, i swear.”

“hmphh—! you’re going too-“

you get cut off the second you feel the turns in your stomach and the blood rush to your face. that familiar feeling burns brightly in your belly and the knot that had been there forever finally becomes undone. you end up finishing, the overwhelming sensation dying down almost instantly.

kate rolls off of you and notices the water buildup in your eyes, her thumbs running across the bottom of them to wipe them away. she lets out a small sigh and scoots a little bit closer to you, eyeing down the hickeys she left on your skin. “i’m sorry, baby.” she whispers softly and cups your face with her palms.

her lips connect onto your neck and she peppers gentle kisses all over each hickey. the contrast from her rough nature to eventually turning into that natural soft, sweet woman you fell in love with the second she sees you like this. “let me fix you a warm bath, okay? for the troubles.” she whispers in between smooches, her hand snaking up your shirt, and her nails dragging softly against your back.

“duh. you know just how i like it.”

“why would i not.” she lets out a scoff and pulls away quickly, a small smile crossing her face when you agree. “was that a scoff?” you mutter and raise your eyebrows. hers do too, and her lips narrow into a straight line. “what about it?”

well, that was the small thing that got you here in the first place.

[dazednmatthews]

i’m drunk rn and i jus want to tell yall i really appreciate yall, like genuinely yall have been so sweet and nice to me i can’t even understand it, all i’ve ever wanted to do was express my passion for writing and tell it to yall and you all fucking welcomed me so much with open arms,

it’s fucking crazy. y’all don’t even know how much you mean to me. writing compliments are the most important to me and it just makes me feel insane that people say that im their favorite writer???? like what??? i’m gonna fucking hug you all so hard. i don’t deserve it. i love you so much. i will miss you so much,

[catch1ngmoths]

BRO I LOVE YOUR WRITING OML ESPECIALLY WITH JOOST ?! MHSKYTJSSYJ

Anywho im allergic to happiness rn so could you write a joost x reader (gn if possible, if you don’t do gn do whatever your comfortable doing idm:3) with like reader admitting that they’ve been struggling (like with depression, suicidal thoughts etc etc)

If you’re uncomfortable with any of this feel free to ignore!! Have an amazing day/night AND GET SOME SLEEP(•̀ᴗ•́)و

࣪˖ ཐིཋྀ SOBER TO DEATH ࣪˖ ཐིཋྀ

𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋ “take your hands off your neck and hold onto the ghost of my body…” - car seat headrest 𝄞⨾𓍢ִ໋

Summary: you’ve been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts. You’re struggling with a pretty bad mental episode just as your boyfriend Joost comes home…

Note: I love you all omfg, the support is insane! I absolutely love writing and reading angst so I get you annon 🙏🏻. PART TWO OF, “Only stay with you one more night” WILL BE OUT TOMORROW!!

Warnings: mentions of depression, suicidal thoughts, bad mental episode + comfort

⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅

You’ve been going through it, really going through it. You had no energy to do anything anymore. No energy to get outta bed, brush your teeth, or even eat. You felt utterly and completely worthless every single day of your life.

The thoughts of getting rid of all the pain and suffering your mind made you go through on a daily basis plagued your mind. The only reason you’d haven’t gone through with your plethora of ideas to end it all was your boyfriend, Joost.

He was the most important person in your life and the best guy you’d ever met. He always helped your mood; anytime he smiles, you smile. Anytime he laughs, you laugh. Anytime he’s happy, you’re happy. But he wasn’t around, not here to talk to you and hold you in his arms.

He was on tour and had been for the past few weeks, you’d realized how bad it’s been without the comfort and just presence of Joost. Don’t get me wrong, every day he was away from you he felt even more annoyed and irritated with everyone around him. Not his fans of course, while performing that was the little peace he got in the day. He just wanted to hold you, he craved it. Just the sight of you made his nerves calm immediately.

You both were like a cure to each others bad moods (THE CURE MENTIONED??!!), fixing each others problems by just being near each other. But your mental health has been the worst it’s ever been these few weeks. You don’t remember the last time you ate and especially drank water. You haven’t left your bed even, falling into deep thoughts of harming yourself that would worry anyone.

The good news is Joost was coming back today, he was practically rushing to get back home to you. FaceTime calls and texting just wasn’t doing it for him, he needed to hold and kiss you. You on the other hand totally forgot Joost was coming home, you’d lost track of time a while ago.

It was around 6pm when you heard the familiar sound of keys opening the front door of your apartment. Your eyes widen, is he home?? Is it really him..?! Before you can get outta your bed a figure comes running towards you with a wide smile, jumping on you and pulling you against them.

You feel yourself smile for the first time in weeks, breathing in the familiar smell of Joosts cologne. He grabs your cheeks and presses kisses all over your face, “missed you so so much baby” he says, his accent bringing the much needed comfort you craved.

He pulls away, looks at you and can immediately tell something’s wrong. He scans your face with narrowing eyes. You looked skinnier and had dark circles around your eyes, even still looking beautiful as ever but he knew you weren’t okay. He doesn’t need to elaborate or even explain, he just says, “what’s been going on in that pretty little head of yours hmm.?”

You sigh, he always knew when something was wrong. He would never let it go unanswered or ignored, “I’ve been getting worse without you here..” you say with a sad sigh, you could always be open and honest with him both of you knew that.

“Talk to me mijn lieve schatje” he says, rubbing your back comfortingly. You pour you heart out, you tell him all about your suicidal thoughts. You tell him about how you haven’t eaten or drinking anything in god knows how long. Your body felt so weak, it took a lot out of you to even raise your arm. You explain how depressed you’ve been, feeling like the most miserable person ever.

He gives you his full and undivided attention, keeping eye contact even when you looked away he stares at you with the most intense eyes that were filled with love and nothing but utter care and worry for your wellbeing. Once you’re done he immediately begins, “well first of all, I’m gonna make you something to eat and drink.”

He says picking you up and carrying you to the kitchen, placing you on the countertop and making you food. Not before handing you a water bottle and making sure you drink all of it. Once your fead, he brings you to the bathroom. You both shower together, he washes your hair and body affectionately while he presses kisses wherever he could.

Once you were both back in bed and ready to sleep he speaks once more right before you were about to fall asleep. “You’re coming on tour with me for now on, I don’t think I can spend that long without you again.” Is the last thing you hear before long kisses are pressed to your eyelids before you’re consumed by darkness….

[kikunai]

Limbus Company Canto VI's insane foreshadowing, callbacks and details

(AKA really fucking good and consistent writing)

these are details that only make sense when you play canto 6 for the second time. spoilers alert.

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.

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Mirror world shenanigans:

you can hear Heathcliff?'s pitch dropping slowly before the reveal (6-33/EP35)

T Corp residents carry timepieces as personal identification (6-03/EP4) but they do not have them, not even their chains. (6-18/EP19)

Dead Rabbit boss and Heathcliff have around the same height, which is very unusual as PM has diverse heights for different characters

DR boss calls his gang "Mad Coney" at first (6-10/EP12) [though this may be a nickname]

in the conversation between DR boss and Heathcliff (6-10/EP12), the former has an uncanny deep understanding of his past.

Faust:

<… Sometimes, Faust looks like she's pausing to look at something before speaking.> -- Dante (6-25/EP28)

Faust makes an indifferent noise when 1. Ishmael and Yi Sang observed that broken mirrors were heard when dead rabbit henchmen die (6-18/EP19); and 2. Heathcliff? mentioned he watches Hindley dies every time (6-33/EP35)

Lightning strikes:

"… A momentary musing reveals that a strike of levin brings about a sensation that is not unlike the joy of fireworks. It fills the dark and cold void of the night sky with its incandescent brilliance, even for a brief moment, before fading away into oblivion." "… Right. And in exchange, it loses everything it has, burning and leaving nothing but ash behind. What joy is there to be found?" -- Yi Sang and Heathcliff (6-07/EP8)

Each strike of lightning is a blessing… For it signifies that you have a place in her heart. -- Linton (6-36/EP40) The thunder of every lightning that struck the manor… was the sound of her breaking heart. With every heartbreak, the lightning strikes. The pain, the bereavement, the shock… are all manifest as lightning, then darkness. Thus, the lightning only indicates that the person in question was so important to her… -- Linton (6-37/EP41)

(before the funeral) "I was never once 'rich' in this manor. I wasn't even allowed to be content. Not even for a moment. And this manor. This manor never accepted me, not even for a—" (6-07/EP8)

"No… this isn't at all what I… I…" "Come back, Cathy. Please…" "Hear my voice just this once, Cathy!!!" -- Heathcliff (6-12/EP14)

"You were the first to leave her, yes… but I assure you, it was certainly for the better. Because she would have… left you first if you hadn't. Because she would have grown tired of you!" "Tired… of me…?" --Linton and Heathcliff (6-21/EP24)

Hindley dying (6-32/EP34)

Heathcliff distorting (6-34/EP37)

Linton dying (6-37/EP42)

Nelly defeated (6-46/EP50)

Heathcliff stabbing himself with the golden bough (6-47/EP51)

Heathcliff dismissed Catherine's feelings when conversing with Yi Sang. It was supposed to brighten Heathcliff's heart, to bring him joy, yet he believes it is nothing and leaves nothingness.

Colours:

Heathcliff mentioned he likes the colour black as "the colour you get when you dump an entire set of paint into a bucket [...] And that's exactly why I tolerate it. Keep throwing paint over paint over paint… and you get black" (6-05/EP6)

"Thus, I have journeyed to this world. To devour every one of those hours. So that you may be stained with the same despair that painted me…" -- Heathcliff? (6-34/EP36)

"Endless vortex of colours, mixing into a sludge. A splash of grey paint over the heart that once gleamed violet. A splash of bloody red paint. Splashes of faded colours. Again and again… until there was nothing but blackness. Unseen by all. Unnecessary to anyone. The colour of the pitch-black night -- The colour of the Backstreets." -- Heathcliff (6-46/EP50)

[ Not a single color remained in the silent Wuthering Heights once the tempest passed. All monochromatic, save for patches of color. ] (6-48/EP53)

[ Come back, Heath. To the manor where the last vestiges of its beauty remain in its violet flowers. ] (6-01/EP1)

Colours are a synecdoche of Wuthering Heights, their impact and their affluence. After Hindley, Linton and Catherine's death, all it remains was Heathcliff.

Nelly's lies, partial truths and betrayal:

Nelly wrote the invitation letter, with Catherine's remark. "Besides… all she said is that she'd be waiting. She never said she missed me or 'wanted' to see me." (6-04/EP5)

"Oh, pish posh! Ridiculous! I was a Butler in direct service of Miss Catherine. Young Master Linton could plead and beg all he wants, but I won't always be taking his side." -- Nelly (6-11/EP13). This however doesnt mean she wont be against the sinners ("This manor has never been on your side. Not even once." (6-45/EP45)).

Nelly offhandedly mentioned she removed all the mirrors in the estate (6-18/EP19) [before Linton moved in (6-36/EP40)], presumably to make Catherine curious about the capital M Mirror

she doesnt recall Catherine opening the letters (6-18/EP19) nor blaming Linton for burning them (6-23/EP26) [even he claimed to have burnt them, possibly to spite Heathcliff (6-21/EP23)] since she burnt them before Catherine can even see them

Heathers, or Heaths for short:

Catherine spent a fortune to give heath colours (6-08/EP9), though Heathcliff did not get the meaning at first("You're wrong. There was no particular love for these flowers. There was no room, no warmth in that heart to spare for mere flowers.")

Linton brought Catherine a golden flower. she remarked that it was for his own sake, only as if he truly loves her he would have brought a violet flower instead (6-18/EP19)

"Those flowers bloom in places like desolate moors or steep cliffsides, so they may appear more lonely than anything else in the world. [...] All other flowers lose their colours and fade as they wither away. But this flower… even as it withers and wilts... remains the same colour. So when you're gone, I will dry these flowers and decorate my room with them." "Uh… what, like make rings of them flowers? Don't say something so foolish. Why would I ever leave you?" -- Catherine and Heathcliff (6-46/EP50)

"Those Flowers... are called Heath. The loneliest flowers that take root and bloom in the wild moorlands, but they're also flowers that survive no matter what devastating tempest comes their way. They endure it all and wait" -- Heathcliff (6-48/EP53)

Catherine's self sacrifice:

"Because birds are meant to fly. Not to be killed like that. Yes. Birds do not belong in their cages; they are beings born to soar the skies. So I am going to empty this pillow of their feathers." (6-19/EP21)

"… will every Heathcliff in every world find happiness?" "Yes, he will. So… it's not too late. For the sake of every remaining Heathcliff in every world, please, invite us to your world beyond. So that we may kill you first and move on to the next, to kill the Catherine of a different world. Again, and again…" "Then, only then, can every Heathcliff reach his own heaven." -- Catherine and Every Catherine (6-47/EP51)

"I don't love every Heathcliff in every world." "I love you. As you are now." -- Catherine (6-48/in game cutscene)

[ But Heathcliff was no longer trapped in a living dream. Perhaps that is precisely why he could open the door to see a new, wider world. ] (6-48/EP53)

The rose from Le Petit Prince referenced by Demian (6-48/EP53 post credit)

Vergilius:

"I am no longer concerned that, in my desire to fulfill the conditions for every clause in my contract, the manager might be irreversibly… hurt. I would be left with nothing if such a thing were to happen." -- Vergilius (6-06/EP7)

read Leviathan please.

=================

"

"… Where do you suppose he is? Heathcliff." "Miss..." "He doesn't have anything left. I am everything he has…" -- Catherine and Nelly (6-12/EP14) "In a way, we’re all ‘deprived’… and that can change a lot of things. Maybe there are things that we can understand only when we’re left with nothing." -- Hong Lu (6-01/EP1)

[plussizefantasia]

Shady Side Gigs

Bucky x BlackCat!Reader

Chapter 3/6

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2

Word Count: 4.2k (oops)

Warnings: Sleazy Guys, Alcohol, Language

After a long day of work, it isn’t surprising that the two of you fall asleep relatively quickly after that, what you aren't expecting is to wake up the next morning wrapped in Bucky’s arms after having the most comfortable sleep you’ve ever had. 

His breath is soft on the back of your neck, and you can feel the steady rise and fall of his chest on your back. It’s soothing in a way and if you weren’t so mortified you could've fallen back asleep. You can’t let that happen though, so as slowly and carefully as possible you begin shifting out of Bucky’s hold. He doesn’t stir at all and when you are finally free from his hold and standing up next to the bed he takes a deep breath and rolls over.

You make a vow that you will never mention this again, not even on your deathbed will you admit that the best sleep you’ve ever gotten was in the arms of the man that you can’t stand.

You start pulling yourself together for the day, brushing your teeth and hair, and making sure that the dress you’re wearing tonight is hanging up in the bathroom. Hopefully, the steam from your shower will release any wrinkles that might be littering the fabric.

Taking a shower is always a refreshing thing, it's the one place you can really turn your thoughts off, just listen to music and focus on the feeling of the hot water running across your skin.

Bang. Bang. Bang. 

Bucky hammers his fist into the bathroom door. “Why the hell did you let me sleep so long!” He yells through the door.

“What? I just got up like ten minutes ago I didn’t let you do shit.”

“Fuck!” he yells before the sound of his footsteps retreating from the door can be heard. 

You quickly finish up in the bathroom and rush out into the main part of the suite. 

Bucky is practically running around the room. Grabbing things from different surfaces and throwing them onto others, pulling his suit from his bag, and just genuinely panicking.

“What the hell is wrong? You’re acting insane.”

He stops and looks at you, “What time is it?” His voice is eerily calm despite the panic that he just displayed. 

“I don’t know like 10?”

He throws your phone into your hands, you catch it, just barely and glare at him. 

The screen lights up when you lift it to your face and the numbers on the lock screen register in your mind.

4:15

What.The.Fuck

How the hell did you and Bucky sleep the whole day away?

“Shit.” You let panic overtake your body and start running around the room with Bucky, maybe even a little crazier than him. It’ll take the two of you at least an hour to get ready to meet society's standards and another thirty minutes to get into town. By then you’ll be cutting it far too close and might lose your window of opportunity.

Fury will be pissed if you blow this, he trusts you and you can not-will not- let him down. 

“Why the hell would you turn off the alarms?” You screech at Bucky.

“Turn off what alarm? I didn’t turn off an alarm?!” 

“You didn’t set an alarm?!” 

“You didn’t set one either?!” 

“I was planning on staying up all night!”

“Well, that’s a stupid plan!”

“So is just raw-dogging it without an alarm!”

“Don’t use the word raw-dogging that’s gross!”

“There are more important things to worry about than my vernacular James!”

“Then why are you yelling at me instead of getting ready?”

“I don’t know!”

“I don’t know either!”

“Well then.” You both stop and stare at each other for a moment. You let out a laugh at the absurdity of the situation you’ve found yourself in. You shake your head at him and continue getting ready at a much more relaxed pace.

It doesn’t take you as long as you’d thought it would to get ready, you’ve done your hair makeup, and nails in record time and have your dress pulled up when Bucky walks into the bathroom behind you. 

“James? Can you zip me up please?” 

You nod your head to the zipper in the back of the dress. You have no idea why dressmakers insist on putting the start of the zip in the middle of the back so that you can’t reach it. 

“Uh, sure.” He hesitantly reaches towards the zipper and places his other hand gently on your waist. You feel his hand tracing up your spine and the goosebumps that follow along behind his hand.

He’s done all too soon but you don’t pull away from each other, instead you stare at each other in the mirror. You look good, really good. Your dress matches suits your body type and the color looks great on you. The way his suit fits him makes you want to drool a little but you refrain. You look good together, You don’t mind the way that thought makes your heart pick up either, the two of you… together.

“So, Debrah, are you ready to rock this thing?” His use of your cover name doesn’t go unnoticed, he’s purposely putting distance between the two of you. For the rest of the night, you are not Bucky and Y/n you are Debrah and Brantley, members of southern society and very wealthy and influential people.

“Of course Brantley, I’ve been lookin’ forward to this lil’ shindig for months now.” Your voice lifts an octave and you make the shift to a slower speech, dropping the last letter of some of your words and tightening the corner of your lips. It’s one of the easier accents for you to slip into, after all, people are charmed by Southern accents, which makes it easier to get people’s money when they’re being charmed.

You and Bucky take the car that was waiting for you out front to the event center which is in an offshoot of Montgomery proper, if you weren’t here on a mission you might’ve taken advantage of the nightlife here, but you suppose you’d have to settle for snobby rich people and orchestral covers of songs from when your parents were kids.

The fact that you had both slept in so late was biting you in the ass, despite your ability to get ready quickly you were still running fifteen minutes behind schedule and neither you nor the driver thought to take into account rush hour traffic into your departure time. 

It’s twenty after when the two of you finally arrive at the event center. It’s a posh place, marble columns surround the entrance and the lawn is trimmed and neat. There’s a fountain a few feet from the front door, encircled by the driveway of the building. It’s exactly the type of place that the Governor’s wife would choose, classy but in an in-your-face kinda way. 

Luckily the two of you aren’t too late as you can still see people getting out of their cars and making their way inside. Most likely all aiming for ‘fashionably late’ to draw attention to themselves, which doesn’t really work when everyone tries to do it. However, it works in your favor tonight, you want to draw some attention, but not too much. Too much attention makes stealing and conviving difficult, you’ve learned from experience. 

Bucky gets out of the car first, jogging briskly over to your door and opening it for you, offering his right hand to help you out of the car. You don’t mind gentleman Bucky, you think you’ll keep him around for a little while. He hooks your arm through his and sets off towards the front of the venue, both of you sporting charming smiles and holding your heads high.

You feel the eyes of everyone as you make your way into the room. It isn’t very often that new faces show up to these old money parties, so you and Bucky are clocked right away. 

“We’ll do one walk about the room with each other, schmooze a little bit and then we can split up.” You lean into Bucky and lower your voice to talk to him. You plaster a demure smile on your face as you do and batt your eyelashes at him when you pull away, playing your part to a tee. 

You have to introduce yourselves as a unit to the Governor and his wife, then you can split off and go about getting the information you need separately. It’ll pull too much attention if the two of you walk in together and then immediately split off and start scanning the place.

So you pull Bucky by the arm to the bar, “Jack and Coke please.” You tell and nod at the woman behind the bar, nudging your elbow into Bucky. 

“Uh, two fingers of Scotch, on the rocks please.” He also nods to her and places some cash in the tip jar at the end of the bar. The two of you pick up your drinks and saunter away from the bar. Both of you scan the room as subtly as you can, trying to get an eye on your target and establish any threats as soon as possible. 

It’s during your scan of the room that your eyes land on the Governor’s son, he's surrounded by other people his age. He’s telling a story, and by the laughter coming from the circle surrounding him, it's a good one. Either that or they’re pity laughs, a desperate attempt to win the favor of the host’s son.

You’d spent your entire day yesterday looking into this kid. Hunter Bowman: He graduated from the University of Alabama with a measly 2.3 GPA securing a Bachelor's in business that he’s never actually put to use. He immediately went off and started his jet-setting career using Daddy’s money, and has been bouncing between European cities for the last five years. A little more digging led you to a brief and failed attempt at a DJing career and some scandalous tabloid stories printed in Amsterdam about him getting cozy with some up-and-coming starlet who burned too bright too quickly and has since fizzled into obscurity.

 You also know that his favorite color is red, he orders black coffee to seem sophisticated but never finishes his cup, and despite the fact that he’s only been back in the States for a few days, he's already been charged with and been excused from a DUI. 

You know this kid better than you know yourself at this point, which is why you figure that he is the best point of access to Governor Bowman.

“Okay, here's the plan. You and I go get introduced to Governor Bowman and his wife, after that we split ways. I'll go get close to the kid, he's reckless and kind of an idiot and I’ll bet he knows more than he should.”

“And what should I do?”

“Go stand in the corner and look menacing I guess, it’s kind of what you do.”

“I can do that.” He nods at you and knocks back the rest of his drink. You don’t think he can get drunk, something about an extremely fast metabolism. What you wouldn’t do for one of those.

Bucky places his empty glass on a passing waiter’s tray and turns to you. “M’lady,” He says, offering you his arm.

You barely avoid letting out an extremely unladylike snort, “All you're missing is the fedora Buck and you could be a true gentleman.”

“Why would having a fedora make me a gentleman?” He tilts his head to the side like an adorable puppy and you can feel the urge to kiss him bubbling up in you.

What. Kiss him? You don’t want to kiss Bucky Barnes, you want to finish this mission and then never have to think about him and his soft hair and warm embrace or cute smile ever again. 

“Never mind B, let's just go and introduce ourselves.” Bucky practically lights up at the new nickname.

“After you.” He gestures forward.

You tuck your hand into the crook of his arm and firmly grasp your clutch in the other. Bucky seems to know where to take you, as moments later the two of you are standing in front of the hosts of his whole shebang.

“Governor Bowman, Mrs. Bowman I’m Debrah Longborne, and this is Brantley Moore, we’re so grateful for the invitation.” You reach your hand out and the Governor takes it, before moving on to shake Buck’s outstretched hand as well.

“Ah, Ms. Longborne, it’s nice to finally meet you, it’s not every day that I get such a generous donation to the foundation.” Mrs. Bowman smiles at you and briefly looks you up and down. 

“Yes well, I figure why let that money sit in some account somewhere when it could be doing some good for other people.” You smile and put an emphasis on the word account. Rich people like the Bowmans don’t care about others they just want the tax ride off that came with having a charity. You can’t pass up on the opportunity to make the jibe, after all, it’s her husband you have to charm, not her.

“How… insightful Ms. Longborne. Well. We do have more people to speak to tonight, but really, it was such a pleasure meetin’ the two of you.” She smiles, a little tenser this time, and moves to pull her husband away, yelling out the name of some other couple standing a few feet away from you. She doesn’t like you, that much is obvious. You don’t like her either, guess you’re even.

“What a bitch.” Bucky says, unprompted and deadpan. You laugh at that and smack his chest with the clutch in your hand, covering your mouth to dull the loud noise. 

“Most powerful women down here are like that, they’re pretty damn cutthroat and protective of whatever little empire they’ve built. But that was the worst part of tonight. She’s met us now she doesn’t need to speak to us again for the rest of the night, and judging by how fast she wrapped up the conversation I’d say she’s pretty grateful for that fact. And I won’t lie, I am too.” 

You take a look around, trying to spot Hunter, and lo and behold he’s alone, standing at the bar, “He’s my chance, wish me luck.” You throw over your shoulder at Bucky before making your way to your key player of the evening. 

You conveniently don’t hear Bucky’s whispered response of, “You don’t need luck, you’re you.” Which is honestly a good thing because if you had you’d be a puddle on the ground. And puddles can’t finish missions. 

“Hunter Bowman, is that you?” You really lay it on think but you need this boy in your pocket and this is the best way to make that happen. “It’s me Debrah, Debrah Longborne from College?” He, like his mother, looks you up and down. His look is more curious than hers was and if your eyes aren’t deceiving you, his gaze is a hell of a lot more heated than hers was too. 

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I don’t seem to remember you. Which is a mighty shame, me forgetting such a pretty face like yours.”

You lean your head down and away from him a blatant act of submission, you push up your cheeks and let a demure smile take over your lips.

“Aren’t you sweet? We only had one class together, makes sense you don’t remember me, you were always the life of the party.”

“Still, let me buy you a drink, to make it up to you.” He licks his lips and leans into your space looking down at you. This is going to be easier than you thought. He’s practically eating out your had already.

______

Bucky’s blood is like fire in his veins. 

Bucky is doing as you told him, taking up space in a corner, nursing a new drink, and looking menacing. Except he isn’t actually trying to look menacing at all, it’s just the way his face naturally seems to default. It doesn’t help that he’s being forced to watch you and the rich kid hit it off over at the bar. It’s been hard enough for him to not just stare at you all night, looking the way you are.

The little amount of time you’d had to get ready did not diminish the quality of your look, actually, he thought that the way your cheeks had heated up when you’d gotten frazzled was one of the cutest things he’d ever seen. He always thought you were cute, you yelling at him about setting an alarm was not an exception.

Then you’d called him into the bathroom to help you zip up your dress and he’d had to fight off every one of his instincts to rip it off you instead. You look killer in the red silk gown. It flows perfectly across your body and hugs everywhere that he wants to hug as well. 

And yet, here he was, sitting in the corner watching you flirt and be flirted on by some entitled rich kid who had probably never worked a day in his life. 

Bucky has no right to feel jealous, you aren’t his. But by God does he really, really want you to be.

He’s supposed to be assessing the room for threats, maybe trying to get closer to the Governor himself to get the information the two of you needed, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the two of you. Nor could he help the way his blood boiled when the bastard put his hand on your waist.

______

“No way, there’s no way that he actually said that to you?” You added laughter into your voice and ran your hand up and down Hunter’s arm, looking into his eyes. 

“I’m tellin’ ya darlin’ he did. He really told me that I couldn’t handle my alcohol.”

“And did you prove him wrong?” 

“Course’ I did, I mopped the floor with his pompous ass.”

“Wow, you have so many amazing stories Hunter, it must’ve been really fun being away for all that time.” His stories suck. This is quite possibly the most boring man you’ve ever met. 

“You could say that, but I’ve had my fun I think. That’s why I’m back in the States. I’m ready to get serious, to settle down.” He places his hand on your waist at the last two words. 

Had you been anyone other than Debrah Longbornw you would’ve punched his light out at the audacity. Instead, you just laugh and bashfully look away again, fluttering your eyelashes. 

“Get serious huh? Finally gonna put that business degree to use?”

“Maybe, or maybe I’ll follow down my Old Man’s footprints, being a politician seems to be a pretty sweet gig.”

“I mean it can be I guess, but he probably doesn't have much fun. Me on the other hand, I have a lot of fun. And I make a lot of money doing it.” You’ve found that that’s a good way to get rich kids hooked, they like the idea of being rich but hate the idea of actually working for it.  

“Oh, I think Pops has more fun than people would think. And his little side venture, that makes a whole hell of a lot more money than he makes nine to five” Hunter sips into his glass and lets out a little laugh like he just told the greatest joke. 

“Oh, well. A venture like that, I wouldn’t mind getting in on.” You chuckle and raise your brow. You don’t know what this venture is but you’re almost positive that it’s something shady, the Governor hasn’t reported any excess income on his taxes in the past five years. So whatever it was, he doesn’t want anyone looking too closely at it. 

Hunter gets all serious really quickly, “Are you sure? Because he told me he’s looking at branching out, investor-wise, looking to open up the circle and make even bigger returns. I could put in a good word for you, and who knows? We might end up working pretty close to each other.” By the end of his proposal, his flirty smile is back and he has moved his hand from your waist to your back. He pulls you towards his chest and leans his head close to your ear. “Just say the word sugar, and you and I, we could do great things.”

This was it, this was fucking it. This was your in and all it took was buttering up the most mediocre white man you’ve ever had the displeasure of standing this close to.

“I mean, I have been looking to… diversify… my assets recently. Do you think He’d go for it? I’d love the chance to work more… intimately with you.”

“No better time than the present to ask. Lemme go grab him and we can talk this out.” Hunter took off and you did an internal happy dance, this had probably been the easiest mission you’ve been on. 

You turn and scan the crowd for your broody backup, when you spot him in the corner you make eye contact with him and brush your hair behind your ear, letting him get a glimpse at the comm you put in.

Once you notice him slip his into his ear you let him know, “I’ve got him hooked, apparently the governor has a little side gig, something that brings in heaps of cash that he doesn’t want anyone to look too closely at. However, Mr. Big Shot over here says he’s looking for more investors, that's my shot. Once I get the governor to explain the details and try to make a deal with me, we’ll have all the evidence we need to expose his backroom dealings.”

“So you were actually getting information that whole time? Here I thought you were just fawning at the first guy to give you attention.” Bucky’s gruff voice sounded through your earpiece.

“The fuck Barnes? Of course, I was getting information what the hell kind of a thing to say is that?”

“A stupid one. I’m sorry.”

“Fucking better be, that was some A-grade douchebag shit that just came out of your mouth right there.”

“Sweetcheeks, have you met my Dad yet?” Hunter returns quicker than you’d thought we would, his father in tow.’

“Yes, we met tonight. Might I say, you’ve got yourself a fine boy on your hands, and an excellent salesman at that. He tells me you’re looking for a little help expanding a little venture of yours. That’s definitely something I’d be interested in.” You shake the governor’s hand again and smile prettily at both him and his son. The more you bat your eyelashes the more they seem to practically preen. 

“Well Ms. Longborne, I’d love to discuss that with you, why don’t we go somewhere a little more private? I don’t really like conducting business out here in the open, I’m sure you understand.”

“Of course. Mr. Governor, lead the way.”

The old man places a hand on your back and begins escorting you to the hallway on the left side of the ballroom. According to the building blueprints, there are some offices down that way along with a library and a ‘gentleman’s room’.

You catch Bucky’s figure out of the corner of your eyes, following behind your little group and you relax minutely. He’s got you, he won’t let anything bad happen to you. 

The Bowmans lead you to the library, a room stuffed full of old texts, and leatherbound volumes without the titles on the spines. The room also holds two couches that you might find at your grandma’s house and a fully stocked bar cart in the corner of the room. 

“Drink?” The governor asks.

“Whiskey, neat. Please.”

“How refreshing, a woman who knows how to drink.” He hands you your glass and you take a sip and smirk at him. 

“So, Mr. Governor, what exactly is the venture that I’d be getting involved in?” 

“Woah, let’s slow down. Can’t exactly talk business without the boss in the room can we?” The men chuckle, eerily similar to each other.

“Oh? Who are we waiting for then?” You’re confused and a little nervous, you’ve never been the best at thinking on your feet. You know that you can deal with the governor and his Son, but a third person throws a wrench into every plan and backup plan that you’d come up with.

At that moment the door creaks open and a familiar face walks in. 

“Ah, the boss! Guess we can get this discussion started.” the governor shifts across the room. Pulling his wife in close and planting a kiss on her cheek. 

Shit.

[cocogum]

The Great Wave - Chapter 5 Review

‼️ SPOILERS FOR THE CHAPTER ‼️

I’m not going to lie, this was the best chapter of the first volume so far. Not only was it better than the old chapters because we had much more to see and think about, but it’s also because it had some soft intimate moments mixed with happy scenes and not to mention felt longer than the others.

I would like to point out that I was completely in the right to explain why it was perfectly reasonable for Amalia to be worried that Aurora would take her place. In my chapter 4 review, I mentioned how Aurora had no right to lead the kingdom without Amalia even if it was in her legal right to do so. Aurora doesn't fully grasp the beliefs of the Sadidas. If she banishes Amalia, the final member of the royal Sadida family, from the kingdom, she will lack crucial insight into the kingdom's governance, particularly regarding the functioning of the Tree of Life.

It's important to note that while Yugo may not be a Sadida or a Twelvian, he has at least demonstrated the bare minimum level of cultural understanding and interaction that surpasses Aurora. Having lived among the Sadidas and rescued them multiple times, he has even communicated with King Oakheart without difficulty. However, it's worth noting that not all Sadidas may fully accept Yugo despite everything he has done. A good example of this would be what @vinillain has said about the topic in their post. I actually recommend you to see what they have to say about it.

Aurora has told Amalia to go back to her adventures, implying that she doesn’t need Amalia IN HER OWN HOME. Not only is the blue cow trophy wife a dumbass, but she’s also extremely unaware of the consequences she could receive if she lets her go.

It’s completely ridiculous but insane to kick the only remaining royal family of the Sadida kingdom if you don’t know how to keep the very living thing that keeps its people breathing.

This just keeps me wondering what the hell is Aurora’s goal besides ruling another kingdom other than the Osamodas one. Is there even another goal? Because if there isn’t, you gotta keep the only member of the royal family around you if you don’t want to fuck a kingdom up babes.

Aurora is legitimately an embarrassment to all blondes out there. They are already tired of hearing the annoying stereotype of “being dumb blondes” so don’t make it worse for them.

I hate what this is implying and I hate how Amalia explains it to Yugo.

Amalia already told Yugo in Season 4 that the sadidas protect the trees with their lives. And now, she’s here specifying to him that once a Sadida dies, they are still very much present in other ways.

Tot I swear on my ass, if this turns out to be some kind of foreshadowing for Amalia’s death, I’m booking a plane ticket straight to France. However, if this turns out to be some sort of implication that Amalia will replace or be the official guardian of the Tree of Life, I might be into it. We’ll just have to see where her words will go.

I loved how Yugo immediately went to console her and brought her into his arms. My guy doesn’t hesitate at all anymore and I’m so proud 🥰 He’s now able to give her the love she deserves 💕

This is the first time he mentions the past, and I'm glad he remembers how she used to be and can see the good in her, even when she was less mature.

Look at how he admires her in this very moment! He’s absolutely smitten 💕💕

“But already full of courage.” Yeah, the fearless sassy adventurer is definitely his type lol

I’ve been seeing a lot of people talk about the pregnancy situation with Aurora and with Amalia as well. The recurring references to pregnancy in certain chapters have led some to speculate about their significance. They are so vaguely placed in some instances but still present that the mentions almost appear like they’ve been strategically placed, leading to the belief that they may play a crucial role in upcoming events.

Here, we have Amalia crying her tears out at the idea that Aurora is perfectly justified to regain her position as queen simply because of her alleged pregnancy.

Just this scene alone makes me believe that Amalia has all the right to get pregnant as well. This is literally the scene that’s pushing the idea of her getting a kid.

Amalia. Get pregnant already. YUGO HELP HER-

I genuinely hate the fact that Amalia believes Armand would’ve let Aurora become the leader in his place because she’s harbouring his “child.”

Like no babe that doesn’t make any sense.

Throughout Season 4, we were able to clearly understand that Armand and Aurora did have feelings for one another but that didn’t mean Armand thought she was worthy to take his place if he was gone.

There’s a reason why there was only one throne in the Sadida kingdom.

There’s a reason why he was the only one conversing the most with other symbols of power or influence such as Master Joris, Yugo, and the cow king.

There’s a reason why he only addresses himself when he’s talking about the sadida leadership.

There’s a reason why he says “my people” rather than “our people”.

There’s a reason why he told Amalia, straight to her face, that she’s got it from here right before he sacrifices himself.

Armand never thought about Aurora when it came to any kind of leadership.

And sure, even if the child is real (because I still do not believe that wench), that doesn’t mean Armand was expecting the child to take over for him, much less Aurora, when Amalia was still in the picture.

Man was just horny that’s it.

Oh oop- drama???

Omg no this is genuinely such a good moment.

Amalia accidentally tells Yugo that he’s a stranger in the eyes of the royal Osamodas family and supposedly the other leaders as well and Yugo simply accepts this fact while she’s over here internally cursing herself for saying that to his face.

Because Amalia knows she’s right. And Yugo knows it just as much as her, if only more. Despite how Yugo wants to help Amalia in the situation she’s in, he’s aware that his very existence is a disturbance to the other leaders. (Which is a parallel to what happened with the Eliatrope goddess and the other gods around her.)

It greatly bothers Yugo to not be able to help his wife because of what he is and it is pretty understandable. There are people who are clashing with Amalia so he’ll obviously want to fight back.

While we're on the subject of who’s more of a stranger than the actual alien, I’d like to point out that even the royal Sadida staff treats Yugo like he’s part of the family. When Yugo and Amalia were having their moment, Renate (or Canar, I can’t remember who is who these two are just always together) enters the sacred grounds and calls for them, reminding them to be a part of the wedding their friends are having. But the way Renate (or Canar) addresses them is not by their royal status, but simply by their names.

This is an important detail to be aware of because Renate/Canar had no reason to justify why he called them by their names alone.

It just goes to show that some royal servants can be comfortable calling Yugo and Amalia this way without receiving any consequences. It also implies that only the servants who have interacted and gotten along with Yugo and Amalia when they were younger, are allowed to address them by their names.

And I love that fact so terribly much.

Amalia is a queen who understands personal relationships with servants and doesn’t think the idea is a bad thing. She has always been looking forward to speaking to her servants and befriending them since she was a child. Renate, Canar, and Evangelyne are examples of this.

Another detail that can be pointed out in this scene is what Renate/Canar said next: there was a wedding the two are supposed to attend later in the day.

This wouldn’t have been such a big thing to think about if it wasn’t for the fact that Yugo mentioned to Grougal that the two people in question who are getting a wedding, are two of his and Amalia’s friends.

Literally what? Who?!? Who are those friends??? That literally came out of nowhere!

It can’t be Eva and Dally because they already got married ages ago. So who could they be? Some friends who the brotherhood of the tofu met during one of their adventures? New characters that we’re going to see in Season 5 if it ever gets released? Or simply new characters that we’re going to discover in the manga? I’m throwing all the possibilities in the air because these two individuals cannot be normal civilians that Yugo and Amalia decided to plan a wedding for. Yugo precisely stated that these people are their friends.

Because of the Brotherhood’s lack of presence, one might assume that the couple getting married could consist of a Sadida and an Eliatrope, which would explain why Yugo and Amalia are familiar with them.

The Eliatropes and Sadidas depicted in this panel appear to be getting along, as they are all gathered in circles surrounded by Sadidas who seem to be accepting of their presence.

@aphilayx circled the exact amount of small groups that contained sadidas and eliatropes conversing together.

We can also believe that the marriage is unlikely to have any of the brotherhood’s friends who they met in their adventures take part in the ceremony, as was the case with Tristeva and Yumalia’s weddings. It appears that only Alibert, Adamaï, and Chibi, who are not from the kingdom, will be participating.

All of these points only encourage the idea that the marriage Yugo and Amalia would participate in could be between a sadida and an eliatrope.

…if the eliatropes weren’t children.

The eliatropes are not adults yet. Only a few months, or possibly a year, have passed between Season 4 and the webtoon. The eliatropes are not ready to marry anyone.

But then again, an interracial marriage would still make sense. Because why would any other race be here? I don’t see anyone else. The room we were shown only displayed sadidas and eliatropes. The only other person who isn’t an eliatrope, a sadida, or even a dragon, is Alibert (poor guy’s the only Enutrof there lol). He sticks out like a sore thumb 😭

Speaking of the room, we finally get to see Chibi and Grougal! It's great to have more opportunities to see them, especially since they were only featured in the first episode of the Ovas and one episode of Season 4 until now. In both of those times, they barely spoke or said a line. But here, we can finally see them having more moments and SPEAKING.

Well, only Chibi is talking but I think that’s pretty understandable since Grougal seems to be less talkative than him cuz he’s…well a baby dragon.

Grougal chews on wood when he can’t eat anything else…

Honestly, that’s relatable for all human babies. And then we got Chibi over here who decided to snitch on him for trying to eat Az. I never thought the future inventor would be able to snitch like that, how embarrassing.

DUDE WHY ARE YOU BRINGING DOWN GROUGAL LIKE THAT?! BRO’S JUST TRYNNA BE A DRAGON-

I’ve never seen Yugo get this mad at Grougal damn. I only saw Adamaï acting like that in season 2...daddy’s mad.

Yugo gives off the vibe of being the responsible older brother who had to act mature to help the parents handle the younger kids. He’s such a big brother to them both to the point where he’s making me think he’ll be such a good househusband father.

He’s even compromising with them!! Telling Grougal to wait a bit until the food can be ready.

Please that is such a fatherly thing to do!! They usually do this when the mother isn’t watching lol. Yugo’s over here telling Grougal to wait just a bit longer so he could be able to eat whatever he wants at the banquet.

By the way, I bet the feast will only be filled with drinks and fruits based on the food we’ve seen in the webtoon trailer.

Ruel had once complained that all the sadidas ate were soups so I guess that’s also another thing these people eat. The only time I’ve seen a sadida eat meat was Amalia in the first episode of the Ovas cutting a cooked animal in Ruel’s contraption.

So yeah, Grougal’s gonna starve either way lol

Also I’m definitely using this panel as my lock screen 💕💕

Look at him, he’s about to ground him before Alibert can.

Just cuz of this scene alone, it made me think that’s how he’s gonna act if he ever gets a kid(s) with Amalia. So if his kid misbehaves, he’d make that frowning face lol

And now we’re back to these imbeciles.

It irks me that these two blue-skinned clowns are being served and taken care of by the sadidas. They got THEIR OWN SUITE ARE U KIDDING ME-

The blue cow king even had some food prepared by the sadidas for his goofy ass ride! Stop treating the sadida servants like they are your own ones!!

Aurora is as unlikable as always, ordering the people to prepare her room.

I swear not even younger Amalia used to order her people like that. She used to get along with them and even talk to them as if she was about to spill some tea. But Aurora? Cow is so entitled that she’s even acting like that to people who are not even from the same race as her.

Blue cow mentioned that the chest the Sadida servant was carrying, had a “kougnard” in it (in English it’s a “skrot”).

We couldn’t see what it looked like but it clearly scared the shit out of that sadida woman. So I took the time to search up what a “Kougnard” was and it turns out it was actually a very ugly bat creature.

A “kougnard” is an animal you can use for transportation or a companion you can bring around while adventuring. Their main use is transportation though so they carry you from point A to point B if you can’t find a zaap gate near you.

They originally came from Ecaflipus, the Ecaflip God’s dimension. The kougnard that Aurora has is a newborn one which would explain why it could fit into a chest.

For a visual example, this is what a kougnard looks like in its adult form 👇

So yeah, pretty ugly.

Like ew wtf no wonder the sadida woman shit her leaves. Sorry for any player who uses these things but I don’t see how you can even touch one of them, let alone look at them for more than fifteen seconds. They look like ugly crusty bats that are fighting for their lives just to breathe.

Also what’s up with Aurora keeping familials in chests?? Wtf?? Isn’t she pro-animal or whatever?? Literally what’s up with that?? What’s so special about a living baby kougnard that she has to keep it in a chest???

That thing is even ugly as a baby, just look at how that sadida woman reacted when she saw it. Literally freaked her the hell out.

Apparently, Aurora wears the animal on her head in the next chapter according to what the next chapter’s cover entails. She seems to have something in her head and @geekgirles deduced that if we focus our attention on the top of her head, we can see claws.

I swear if that blue cow is actually looking down on people in that panel while having an ugly crusty-ass bat on her head, I’ll be laughing my ass off at this goofy behavior.

[regulusrules]

as a national winning athlete, I am fucking dying from the perfect representation of athleticism in Challengers (2024). no one is talking about this because there are more important stuff going on there, but Yeah. It is EXACTLY like that sometimes. You go insane with focused determination to be the best, to win, and sometimes you feel you're naturally talented, and sometimes you feel like nothing at all.

the movie really shows you athletes in different parts of our lives, and makes you able to relate to all three stages. i relate to patrick in him being a natural, and yet I relate to him in being misguided and not knowing what he could actually do with his talent. I relate to Art when i feel second-best in my sport, and how yet I still get glory thrust in my hands. I relate so fucking much to tashi, because the game is sometimes a relationship more important to me than any other in my life, how i am haunted by my injuries just like she is, and how afraid i'd have to one day lose it because of the recovery. and let me tell you? that positively breaks your fucking spirit if you're an athlete.

it's so uncommon to find proper representation for this, but god this movie went places.

[duckduckgoose-exe]

okay I got one like

the skk shippers who hate on people who ship Dazai and Chuuya with other people but actively are multi shippers for everyone else PISS ME THE FUCK OFF

like i get it, bonded, two souls in one body

but can you not be a holier than thou stuck up prick 💀💀💀

like bro idgaf if you only ship skk but actively hating on some of the most popular bsd ships for just daring to have Dazai without his precious Chuuya?

bro grow the fuck up

and when they refuse to let people ship polycules 💀

OH ANDDDD when they ignore other insanely strong and important bonds, like oh I don’t fucking know KUNIKIDAZAI???? Their story together is so amazing and I love them. Also, fyolai’s bond, ranpoe, etc etc I could go on

just like. Stop being a hypocrite and if you’re so concerned over fated bonds then you literally wouldn’t be a multi shipper 💀

[prisonhannibal]

hi brigitte, I’m canadian and I work in a field related to the rights of indigenous people in canada and the other day one of my coworkers was talking about the sámi rights protests in norway and she said that the results of the protests could be a landmark case in indigenous rights to their own land and advocacy worldwide. I just wanted to share that to let you know that your activism has had a global impact and even people who don’t live there are paying attention !! thank you for all the work you’re doing

Thank you for telling me! that means a lot to me to hear ❤️ the case was extremely extremely difficult to deal with for most people involved and i’ve never been harassed and threatened irl more than I have this last year lol but I’m really glad to hear that it has made a difference outside of sápmi too! seeing all the support online that we got (especially from indigenous people) from all over the world was insane like I’m still emotional about it tbh. I think a lot of us had the feeling for a very long time that no one is listening to us like the government just keeps doing this to us again and again and no one in norway cared even with a supreme court ruling in our favor, and they can get away with it when people aren’t watching and don’t know what’s happening. But last year we got so much support both here and internationally and it felt really good to see that people are listening and they do care, I feel very hopeful for the future after seeing that. It will probably happen again but at least it won’t happen quietly.

Keep doing the important work you’re doing I hope you have a good day ❤️ this meant a lot to me to hear

[saneabandoned]

Diving into Star Wars: The Clone Wars

“Good soldiers follow orders.”

This seems to encapsulate the whole seven seasons of the series Star Wars: The Clone Wars. If you haven’t seen it, haven’t heard of it – in short, it’s an animated series set between Episode II and III of the prequel saga. However, the aim of this is not to be a guide – you can go to Wookiepedia for that; this is supposed to be an essay – analysis, some kind of a deeper-ish dive into the philosophy and meaning of the series, that frankly is one of the best things to happen to this film universe, perhaps ever. I have, time and again, tried to explain for myself the meaning it carries and just why it has me in such a strong chokehold, but I have failed, or at least haven’t reached a conclusion. Maybe it’s not possible, maybe it’s just the magic of being a fan – you see and feel things not everyone would understand, because it speaks to you on some personal level, that even some (more chill than me, at least) fans won’t be able to entirely relate to. I have yet to meet a person as obsessive as I am over all kinds of different media – don’t get me wrong, even though Star Wars is without a doubt my favourite universe, there are many more I have indulged in, wrote about, watched, listened, theorized and all that good stuff throughout many years. But as I have recently come to realize, I have spent the last ten-ish years of my (not that long, to be fair) conscious life thinking about this universe, this whole galaxy (pun absolutely intended) of characters, morals, and plots.

Speaking about morals, that’s where some of the importance of The Clone Wars comes for me personally. Ever since I can remember, Star Wars has been a huge deal in my life – I watched the movies at a very young age (thanks, mom!), but started reading more and more into the whole world as I got older. I thought I’d reached the peak somewhere in high school when I would literally rewatch the prequels every single weekend, and the OG movies about once a month too. I just found it mesmerising, I always have – being a person with a huge imagination, that never quite stops working (and that’s caused me some trouble as well), I found a haven in this world, a place where nothing is too weird, everything is just so brilliantly imagined and thought of, written and painted so vividly, that it feels like someone has taken the insides of my brain, turned them into a whole painting, adding stories, characters and just overall putting into words and pictures the things that I can’t really understand and explain for myself. I found a mirror in this world, a sanctuary for all my thoughts. I used to listen to the soundtracks whenever I felt anxious, and it would transport me directly into the universe I felt so safe in. It was an escape from reality; still is – not that reality was or is particularly scary or unbearable for me; but sometimes I wish I was elsewhere; somewhere where there is courage, bravery, adventure, love, all the things I longed for while being quite honestly, mostly a bored teenager at school.

I have always loved writing, loved expressing my thoughts, putting them into words (as is becoming obvious by this text) and have always greatly appreciated when films, books or other media would reciprocate that – when the words on the screen or the page would feel like I wrote them myself, so true, so real, so incredibly close to me, that I would get literal shivers and wonder if telepathy is actually possible. But hey, that’s The Force for you!

As of now, I have just finished completely rewatching the whole Clone Wars series and as always, I have many thoughts on it. The first time I watched it was right after the final season came out because at that time, and especially during the pandemic, I was going deeper than ever into my interests, rewatching all my favourite things, while also searching for new ones to keep me from going absolutely insane (I think I maybe have succeeded in the opposite though). So, stumbling across this series, I thought I’d give it a try. The rest is history – after absolutely and hungrily devouring it, I continued to Rebels, and every other possible piece of media under the sun. Fabulous times.

Now, one thing I’d like to make clear – I’m not a pro. I am not in any way a certified critic, a writer, or any other sort of person authorised to make such an analysis. I am but a fan, a fan for whom this universe means more than I could ever hope to be able to put into words; a fan who after years of contemplation, has reached a point where I can’t keep it inside any longer. I’d love if this piece of writing makes it out in the universe, reaches as many people who enjoy Star Wars as much as I do, but even if not, I am writing it for myself, I am trying to step out of my comfort zone, reach deep into myself, and in a life of struggling with the loudness of my thoughts, trying to put something down, manifesting my emotions and creating something physical from them; these characters that mean so much to me will never be real, I can never hope to speak to them, touch them, or see them in real life. They have although shaped me as a person and largely formed my psyche and morals, view of the world, inner monologue, even some of my characteristics.

So nevertheless, for me they are more real than a lot of people I know are.

***

To begin, I don’t intend to focus on the Jedi’s role in the war – it is of course vital, but I think the discourse about that is to be found more detailed in relation to the movies, namely the prequels, as CW is very much about the clones themselves. When I first started watching it, I will be honest, I didn’t think I’d find what I ended up finding – and that is such depth that I couldn’t imagine finding again, after being a fan of the movies, both OG and prequels, for so long. But was I wrong!

But let’s start with Ahsoka, since I started by mentioning the Jedi and she is one of the first new characters to appear (besides Rex and many others, of course). First, I wasn’t convinced that I liked her much – she was a bit of an annoying youngling for the first few seasons, after all. I wanted Anakin and that’s about it. Well, I got what I wanted, I think, as I am firm in my opinion that Anakin’s arc is so widely explored that you get a whole another view of his character, something I didn’t think was possible, after all – isn’t the entire saga about him? It is, but still – what I saw in CW, through characters such as Ahsoka and Rex, contributed so much to Anakin’s development as a character and leading force in the saga as I don’t think anything else ever did in the movies, any of them. So, yes, I got what I wanted, but also, I got so much more – Anakin is not my main point of discussion here, I think as main of a character he might be in this series, he is not THE main one, at least not for me. And as Dave Filoni is quoted saying – The Clone Wars is about Ahsoka and Rex.

Who are they? That was my main wonder when I first started watching – why would I care about a random clone captain and a youngling? They are both not present in the movies, and the clones themselves have very little personality there, they are just side characters, until they end up executing Order 66, which is of course devastating. But after watching CW, I completely changed my outlook on it, but more on that later. So, Ahsoka and Rex – admittedly, in the beginning, I didn’t find that much since it’s just mainly classic Star Wars battles and a loose plot that is not absolutely VITAL to the end result but brings so much deeper insight into the clones’ personalities, and ultimately through that to the whole feel.

What I really find devastating about this series is the nagging feeling of doom you inevitably carry with you – you spend so many episodes and seasons watching your favourite characters win numerous battles, you root for them, you cry and laugh with them, you grow so attached to them; but you know how the story ends, you’ve seen Anakin become Vader, again you know about Order 66, you know the Empire rises after all and Palpatine’s plan works – and every time you hear someone say “you’re going to lose this war”, you hope for the opposite, but you know they’re right and there’s nothing to be done – evil wins in the end of this. And as I read somewhere – this is a story that happened a long time ago – it’s over, it has already happened, there is no hope, at least in this series, which I find frankly terrifying. Amazingly done, but still heartbreaking.

Clones, war, and choices

The point about choices and what it means to be a soldier gradually becomes more and more pronounced as the show goes on – one amazing example of this is the Umbara arc where the 501st is led not as usual by Anakin, but by Pong Krell (who later turns out to be a traitor of course). This is one of the darkest moments in the show, as clones are made to kill one another, to sacrifice themselves without reason, and for the first time to face an incompetent, and frankly evil general, and to choose to disobey. This is for me a crucial moment, as the clones have never before chosen to disobey direct orders – they were, after all, made to comply and to follow what their generals tell them to.

"I used to believe that being a good soldier meant doing everything they told you. That's how they engineered us. But we're not droids. We're not programmed. You have to learn to make your own decisions."

But here, we can see the conflict – especially in Rex, as he is the captain and has to face the general and answer for his deeds. He looks him directly in the eye and tells him they are not willing to go on a suicide mission, that they will not follow his orders, after he’s made them fight and kill their brothers unknowingly, and even ordered Fives and Jesse to be executed. However, Rex struggles with killing Krell, when he decides to; he orders him to kneel and points the blaster at his back but is unable to fire the shot. Once again, Star Wars proves that its plot has much deeper nuances and philosophies; for the first time here, we are faced with the harsh truth – the clones are people. We know that, but it somehow gets lost in the movies, as the focus there is on the Jedi’s end, which is just as tragic, of course. But before now, no one has considered what it really means to be a clone. They were made for war, they were made to die, their lives and their deaths were planned. Are the Jedi and the Republic, in that case, really the “good” side? That’s what I, at least, started to reflect on when I reached this point in the series, and it changed my whole outlook on the saga, on everything I have seen thus far. Yes, I still think the Jedi are cool and whatnot – but did they not deserve what happened to them for so blindly exploiting their soldiers? They didn’t know about Order 66 of course, and Palpatine is in no way right – but how come the Jedi are innocent in this? I don’t think they are, at least not fully. They could’ve stopped so much suffering and helped so many more clones, if not for their narrow views, which are all the reason for the clones’ suffering, Ahsoka’s leaving and consequently, Anakin’s betrayal.

"Sometimes in war, it's hard to be the one that survives."

Oh, Cody, Co-dy! The friendship the clones and in this case – Rex and Cody – share is truly precious and very accentuated in this arc especially (here the first arc of the last season) – it is Cody who Rex confides in about not wanting to lose any more brothers, as he knows he is one of the few ones who will understand him fully, what it means to be a soldier, to have to live with the morals of war, to have never known anything but loss. This is what makes Rex dive and slightly recklessly (thank God) search for Echo, proving that he’s alive, saving him from the tortures. They are brothers, and they never leave their own behind. But he is not possessive or jealous, and when he senses Echo’s pull towards Clone Force 99, he is ready to give him the push he needs to join them. He knows his brothers, as I said, and he knows the trials of war, so if Echo will feel even an ounce happier with this squad, he deserves it, after all he’s endured – “If that’s where you feel your place is, then that's where you belong."

Therefore, I love the Skako Minor arc and Echo’s retrieval, not only because it sets up the ground for The Bad Batch (I’m not even going to begin trying to explain what it means to me, as it deserves to have another huge debate on its own), but because it shows Rex’s devotion to his brothers – all of them. Even though he tries to be just a soldier, to live through the deaths, he still cares immensely, and that’s what makes him a good captain. His bravery is unmatched, he is always the one leading his men, and looking out for them, because he knows his men, he stands and fights side by side with them, and he’s ready to die on the battlefield, thus setting the example for everyone.

The philosophy of war is extremely complicated – this is what I enjoyed so much about the series (and the movies of course, politics and war is the main theme), among all other things; the fact that we see war as destroying, as a necessary evil, as a tragedy by itself – but war also created life in this case and its ending brought much more death than any of the battles ever did.

"The mission... the nightmares. They're finally... over."

I’m sorry, but I think I have never witnessed anything as remotely tragic as Fives’ arc – Palpatine told only him the whole truth, fully knowing no one would believe the clone hasn’t lost his mind; but the sacrifice the trooper made ultimately saved so many lives, mostly Rex’s, one of his closest friends. Fives never got to reunite with Echo but losing him made Rex realise how important every brother is to him, and in consequence, he never gave up on any of them (not that he was inclined to do so before of course). In his last sane moment, Rex begged Ahsoka to “find Fives”, and she understood. She knew the clones better than anyone and knew exactly what that meant and never doubted it for a second. Fives saved her life, too.

Fives’ arc is the first time the show begins to become darker and more sombre – it is also the point when we as spectators begin to realize what Order 66 actually means, having seen before only its results; but this time we see its execution, through the eyes of the clones themselves. They are forced to kill all Jedi, after being their most loyal soldiers, and honestly – incredibly loyal friends as well. They can’t control it and it’s not their choice – but that doesn’t mean they don’t realize what they’re doing – Rex said he couldn’t help it; Wrecker said he tried to fight it (The Bad Batch); Bly shot Aayla so many times, so she wouldn’t suffer and her death would be quick; Cody didn’t even check if Obi-Wan was dead; Wolffe didn’t kill Plo Koon. They were people, they were made to do inhumane things, but they found a way, they made a choice, so that they could somehow live with it after.

We get all of this through the clones’ perspective, rather than the Jedi, and it’s just as painful, if not more – we are used to hearing “the army betrayed its generals”, but what happens when we realise, they couldn’t do anything about it? What happens when we see the struggle, when we can almost feel the pain of having to betray? The clones, the most loyal creatures ever created, made for loyalty, have to turn on their generals, on their comrades, on their closest friends.

So, I come back to Ahsoka and Rex. We see them in the very first moment of the show, and they have already formed a bond, which is unlike anything else. They fight side by side the whole war – from the battle of Christophsis to the Siege of Mandalore – and Dave Filoni is truly right when he says this show is about them; but I think also in a broader sense. It is about two creatures who were destined to fight all their lives, who no matter their completely opposite backgrounds, turned out to be the same things – soldiers. Through and through, in their own ways. Their friendship transcends beyond all of this, they have a unique connection, that’s never shaken, even in the direst of moments; even years later, when they meet (in Rebels), you can feel their love for one another, the purest friendship there ever was, somehow ironically created by the ugliness of war and constant fight. Both Rex and Ahsoka suffered losses we cannot imagine – Rex says he tries not to hold on to any of his brothers, and Ahsoka is a Jedi, so it is forbidden for her to form such attachments; but we know. We see it in their eyes, we can hear it when they speak. Rex can never forget Fives’ death and the fact that he died thinking no one believed him; he ran to Skako Minor in an instant even though it might have been a trap, but the chance to save Echo was not one he was going to miss out on this time. And he saved his brother, against all odds. And he saved Ahsoka, as she saved him, time and again. Because that's what brothers do.

“I’m no Jedi” – an interesting phrase for Ahsoka and Rex to have in common, given how different both their roles and backgrounds seem to be, but it is indeed the one they unexpectedly share. Spoken first by Rex here, and then a lot later by Ahsoka in Rebels, it is highly unprovable that it’s on purpose. However, I don’t think anything in Star Wars is done without a reason, so I choose to believe there is some thread connecting them – after all it is Rex and Ahsoka, and that will always matter. What it means for both of them is simultaneously the same, yet different – Rex is the clone closest to the Jedi, there is no doubt about this; he’s used to their ways, he has as equally as strong a moral code, so it is somehow thinly implied that he acts similar to them, despite (or thanks to) being one of the strongest and most respected clone leaders. His closeness to both his general and commander is widely known, so no one seems to pay attention to the fact that he is actually a clone, as he makes his own decisions, and often chooses to fight where a Jedi would opt to step back.

Ahsoka and Anakin

For me Ahsoka became the best character in the whole saga, no ounce of doubt, sorry. She is the embodiment of the Force, she is fierce, loyal, but also incredibly wise for someone her age, and someone who is still learning. On many an occasion, she proves to be more experienced than Anakin (and in my book, experience outranks everything) and I feel like he’s learned as much from her as she did from him – if not more. She is the one keeping him sane and grounded, and I’m a firm believer that had she not left the order, he wouldn’t turn. Ahsoka’s presence brings so many new layers to Anakin’s character, that have not been explored before that and had she stood by him, he wouldn’t be able to become what he became. So, yes – ultimately, I blame the Jedi order for Anakin’s betrayal, I always have, but after watching this series, and seeing it from another point of view, I simply cannot be shaken. They took everything from him and left him alone, which has always been his weakest – he has always been this little child, terrified by the dark, later consumed by it, now unable to fight it anymore. The Jedi made him, and they unmade him too. In my opinion, he shouldn’t have ever been a Jedi in the first place – he is not like Obi-Wan, not like Yoda, not even like Ahsoka (who is not the traditional Jedi either, being trained by him) – he is so powerful and so weak at the same time, and that’s where his dilemma lays – who am I? Which side am I on? He doesn’t know, but no one is there to help him – Ahsoka included, as she (rightfully so!) leaves the order when she sees the truth about it. But she carries that guilt ever since.

She blames herself for leaving Anakin, she blames herself for not fighting alongside him when he needed it; for leaving her friend, her brother. If I were Ahsoka, I would have done the same – she was betrayed by the Jedi, not by Anakin, not ever, but still. He stood with the Order when she needed him by her side. And that is what destroys him too. The loss of his padawan, his most loyal friend is unlike anything else, and for her, leaving this life that’s all she’s ever known, transforms her view on everything. And when she inevitably returns, because that’s where she is supposed to be in order for the prophecy to happen – she must be there, but not by Anakin’s side; she doesn’t fit anywhere else, but she doesn’t fit there anymore either; and she can’t follow him, so she’s sent to Mandalore, again alongside the clones, her brothers, she goes down fighting with Rex. She’s always been his sister more than a Jedi; she didn’t ever belong anywhere else but on a battlefield. She may not be a clone, and she wasn’t meant to be a soldier either; but just like the clones, the war is all she’s ever known, and even though she was meant to be a peacekeeper, peace was something she never knew, especially after Anakin’s turn to the Dark side – even though there is no longer a war, she is forever tormented by the voices she heard in his last moments as her beloved master and the pain she felt when he left.

She knew it was over in that moment – Order 66 is by far the most heartbreaking arc of them all and I can never watch it without then spending weeks thinking about it – it’s genius, really, how Palpatine had this evil plan, dictated the whole war without anyone noticing; and it worked. It worked and changed the whole entire galaxy, and nothing could have prevented it – except maybe Anakin turning; and that is what Ahsoka can’t get over; she feels it is somehow partially her fault that the dark won; if only she hadn’t left, it haunts her forever. She doesn’t know Anakin is Vader, not until she meets him after, so she thinks he’s dead like the rest of the Jedi – and when she finds out what truly happened to him, she passes out (in Rebels; another terrific moment) because the pain is just too strong – the mixture of his known presence in the Force, and his new persona, that is torn from pain and suffering, feelings so intense and unknown to her she can’t understand them. It’s not her master, but it is undeniably Anakin. And he feels abandoned, he feels alone, he is guilty and sad and in constant pain, he is no longer there, not really, but then – he is. And the memory of what he once was, what he promised, everything he taught his padawan brings such pain for Ahsoka.

She may not think she is truly a Jedi, yet she is for me the only one of them I came to respect – she is never hypocritical, doesn’t leave anyone behind, not ever, and she fights for good, always for what she deems right, never feeling like she has to change for others, but in the end always blaming herself for their fate. She could never forgive herself for what happened to Anakin, and she can never forget her brothers, the clones, she suffers and grieves for every one of them, she knows their names, they were her whole world. And the only thing she had left, because they never judged and never tried to change her, they simply stood by her. Even when they had orders to kill her.

Rex and Order 66

Ahsoka’s master was gone from that moment on, and all she had left was Rex. The other main character, and I accept no objections to that statement. Rex is... the best one ever. He is, without any doubt, my favourite from this series. Putting aside my Ahsoka obsession, I didn’t expect to grow as attached to him as I did. Then again, I can’t separate them – for me, they are a team, the best one, and I don’t think I would have liked them as much had they not been the amazing pair they are. The connection between Rex and Ahsoka is what makes this series so different and so much better than the movies for me. It shows a level of true depth and caring that we haven’t really seen before – the type of platonic trust that few people find in their real lives. If I get to have just one friend that is as loyal, I don’t think I’d need anything more. Their story is so real, so touching and beautiful and sad – I think it is not only the best one in the series, but in the whole saga, and in any storyworld, really, for me personally. They meet a kid and a soldier, but they leave the war (or maybe the war leaves them) as equals, friends bound by experiences so unique and traumatic that they can never forget them, their bond can never be destroyed. They are soulmates, and they are forever. I don’t make the rules, sorry.

"Well, I've known no other way. Gives us clones all a mixed feeling about the war. Many people wish it had never happened, but without it, we wouldn't exist.”

Rex says this to Ahsoka moments before he is forced to execute Order 66 and it makes me shudder every time I hear it. Knowing what follows, knowing that the clones that have been created for war, are humans with so much more nuanced feelings that they let themselves express, that they fear the war ending as much as others might feel a war beginning is incredibly twisted. They are not machines, they are much more than that, they have feelings, and they have morals, and they are afraid. Rex has never doubted his loyalty to his commanders, and never gave any reason to be doubted – never hesitated, never showed anything less than immense courage and skill. But now he stands before the only person he’s never been able to deceive, and he voices for the first time what probably has been torturing him for a while – the knowledge that he is expendable, that his life might be over, and that this might be what he’s always fought for – the end of himself and his brothers. Victory and death, indeed.

Viewers have witnessed many a clone death, and these last episodes are the culmination of it all – from that point on, every favourite character is in danger. Of themselves. One thing that the series does marvellously is bring personality to so many seemingly identical characters – in the movies we never get any detail about their lives, their characteristics, even their looks – but now I could recognize Fives from Echo in a second; they might have the same features and the same voice, but they are not the same. They are brothers, forged by the same essence, they share the same blood and the same heart, but they are individuals with thoughts and passions so diverse it’s impossible not to notice, not to adore.

Rex is Ahsoka’s best friend, as she reassures him moments before everything went to hell. He is the man who stood and fought by her side, and who watched her grow up. Who, when faced with the order to kill her, removes and drops his helmet in a desperate try to fight Order 66 (perhaps unconsciously, as he is being mind-controlled), and so she could see his eyes, see his tears, his struggle, his shaking, and know that he had no choice, know that on some level, he is asking for help for the first time ever, the soldier he is – he removes his helmet so he could look her in the eyes, his best friend, his sister, his commander; and she knows.

She’d ran to him, when sensing there was something wrong – of course, Ahsoka would run to Rex, because he’s Rex, he’ll know exactly what to say and what to do, and maybe he could contact somebody who can fix this; this can’t be real, the war is almost over; she’s still a child after all, she can’t face this now, not alone, not without Rex. She’s never had to face anything without Rex, it’s just unimaginable – but she runs to him and in his eyes she sees someone who is not Rex at all, and suddenly all the men she trusted with her life more times than she can count, are not the men she knows, and they want to hurt her, and Rex wants to hurt her, even though it makes him suffer. She sees his tears; she feels in him what she never believed she would.

The parallels in their relationship are just amazing – one of their first interactions is when Rex says to her “good luck, kid” on their first ever mission together – and it shows just how much he already cares for her, how he understands that beneath all her witty remarks and wish to prove herself to her new master (and his soldiers!), she is still a kid thrown on a battlefield – an unnatural atmosphere for anyone, but especially for a young child with no experience whatsoever. From then on, they just keep getting closer and their friendship grows stronger until it reaches a point where they can understand each other without even speaking.

“Yeah, kid, I’m okay”, Rex says, moments after Ahsoka has removed his inhibitor chip and essentially saved both their lives, all while putting herself at a great risk, just because she cares and she can’t do this on her own. In this moment, in his eyes, she is again the kid he first saw, scared about her friend, trying to prove that she can do it all on her own – this parallel is so important to me; she has never been in such a situation alone before, because she’s always had Rex, and now she’d almost lost him, after just reuniting with him; when for a split second there was something in his eyes that she’d never seen before, the only thing that saved her was Anakin and Rex’s training (shown in Tales of the Jedi). Anakin taught her how to fight enemies much stronger than herself, her brothers taught her how to defend herself, not knowing that she’d ever have to, especially not against them. It’s truly heartbreaking.

“Ahsoka, it’s all of us” – just seconds after she has saved him, Rex looks her in the eyes and apologizes for almost doing the undoable, for almost killing her, for being okay when she almost wasn’t. How would he ever live with himself, knowing that he betrayed his best friend? The animation has developed so much by this point, that in this last episode, it’s almost like watching real people acting, at least that’s how I’ve always felt; it feels real, the emotion is just so intense and so palpable – especially with this being the first time Rex says her name. She is his friend, she is the only one who cared enough to save him, thus saving herself, proving again and again her loyalty, the thing they have most in common. They understand each other like no one else can, they have been through everything together, and now, in these crucial moments, they have both proven it – she never gave up on him, she trusted him enough to save him, and in return, he is ready to follow her anywhere and die protecting her. From his own men. Barely awake, he’d reached for his blasters, shooting his own brothers to protect her, not even fully conscious yet. They are equal, they have become one through the Force, and if it wasn’t clear before, it is now – they are sticking together to the very end, no matter what they must do, no matter how. They are forever. Loyalty means everything to the clones.

This and what follows on the bridge of the ship as it’s coming down, are my favourite scenes from the series.

“I hate to tell you this, but they don’t care! This ship is going down, and those soldiers, my brothers are willing to die and take you and me along with them!”

Even though it’s animated, even though you can’t see his face, and the only thing is his desperate voice, you can feel the devastation when Rex utters these words, touching his chest, as he says “brothers” – he has always cared for them, his family, and has mourned every single loss, but now, when there is no other choice, he knows protecting Ahsoka is the most important thing there is – the mind-controlled clones can’t tell apart their own from a traitor, so what’s the point?

There is always a right choice – and Ahsoka proves it, when she gently removes his helmet, only to show what everyone but also no one suspected – Rex is crying, he is afraid and in pain, and she is the only thing he cares about. He’s lost so much; he can’t lose her too. But she always has a plan, and she is probably the only one who cares about the clones as much as him; they don’t need to explain themselves; she doesn’t want to be the one who is responsible for so much death; there’s been too much already. They have lived a life of war, facing death and loss every single day, and enough is enough. She wants to live, but not at the cost of murder. There is no doubt in her voice when she says that.

Burying brothers

What follows is truly devastating to watch – Rex facing his brothers, as a traitor in their eyes, as some of them stand before him, still wearing their helmets with Ahsoka’s Togruta design on them, the colours of the 501st closely resembling her lekku. They’d painted their armour as soon as they knew Ahsoka was coming back to them and they were getting their commander, and little sister back, their best friend, the only one who cares enough to remember all their names, who never turned her back on them, even now, when they are against her, she still tries to save as many of them as possible; she’s been the one whose hand they’ve reached to when dying, their last memory on this world her face, her bright eyes, full of life and care, her presence calming them in the face of the inevitable, as she will have to do now as fell, at the very end.

How must it feel to lose everything you’ve fought and hoped for, in a span of hours? Palpatine’s plan is truly ingenious. The war might have ended, but only on the outside; a much larger, much more painful fight has begun, inside, for Rex and Ahsoka, who now have to navigate a life they haven’t ever considered; they may have wondered what life after the war might be like, but not like this, never like this; not as heroes, not even as fighters – as traitors in the eyes of their most beloved brothers and the new control of the Empire. But they choose to fight until the end, crashing down, falling with the cruiser together, hand in hand; the parallel of them hanging on to each other in the hanger is precisely mirroring the moment of Anakin and Obi-Wan trying to push each other away during their legendary fight on Mustafar, which is happening at the exact same time. But these two don’t let go, they simply cannot face losing each other, not now, not after all of this. They’ve fought for years, so many battles, losing track of what the fights are about – but this last one is clear; they are fighting for each other. And when they are the only survivors, they take to bury their brothers, and grieve the colossal loss side by side, silently watching, because there aren’t words to describe what they feel, and it’s not necessary, so they don’t speak. They know.

"I don’t want to bury any more of our brothers."

The devastation and sheer exasperation we hear in Rex’s voice when he says this much later, in The Bad Batch, when talking about the inhibitor chips nonetheless, is all we’ll ever need to know about him. Laying low after the end of the war, separating from Ahsoka, believed to be dead; in fact – being dead to the world in every sense, this is the choice he makes. He’s witnessed almost all his closest friends dying, he’s lost his general, he doesn’t have a purpose and a goal anymore; he has to deal with the realization that the war is over, but it ended at way too high a price, and he’s a soldier – he will fight every day, until the end, because it’s all he knows. He’s the most loyal soldier, survived Order 66 at the highest price there could ever be, and he can’t lose more. He wants to keep fighting, and he will, but not to lose. Rex doesn’t want to feel this awful feeling of loss, not ever again.

The same goes for Ahsoka – even though she quits the order and never officially finishes her training, the Jedi life is the only one she’s ever known, so her path even after leaving, after the war ends, and after she separates from Rex, is one lead by the code to a large extent, even if done so unconsciously. She claims to not be a Jedi when she faces her master as Vader in Rebels, wanting to avenge him; but she doesn’t end up doing it, she can’t possibly kill Anakin. So, she goes on, living in this middle ground – she is not truly a Jedi, but what else could she be? She has led her troops in many battles, fought by their side; even when they didn’t have to, they still called her commander, as loyal to her as ever; recognizing that she stood by them, even held them as they died.

When The Resolute crashes after Order 66, we are aware that her and Rex took every single one of their fallen brothers, buried them, and displayed their helmets, putting Jesse at the very front, the one who’d wanted to kill them the most at the end. But they know better, it was not him, not after literal moments before that he almost went insane from Maul’s questioning because he didn’t want to betray Ahsoka; he deserved a recognition, even in death. Every single one of them did, and Rex and Ahsoka gave it to them. She lets go now of her lightsaber, the Jedi weapon that bears her identity, and lays it to rest next to the fallen soldiers, because she doesn’t want to have any more connections to this war, there’s been enough fighting. She dies here too – for what it’s worth, she fell with the clones. I can’t imagine how traumatising and terrible it felt, pulling body after body out of the debris. For both of them.

Brother after brother.

***

No matter what I say, or how much I write, I don’t think I will ever be able to express properly what this world and this series in particular mean to me. Of course I love all things Star Wars, but The Clone Wars will always hold a very special and exceptional place among them. It is a unique feeling, one I cannot put a word on, it feels too big for me, as if there is some kind of a boundary that is at the verge of explosion, it’s holding so much emotion, and there isn’t enough space for it inside. Perhaps it’s the depth and the exploration of the clones, their relationships, the empathy their lives evoke – creatures bred for war, individuals barely recognized in life. But still human, as Rex and Ahsoka remind us of the entire time – especially when we see them watching the arranged helmets of their dead brothers – the clones have not been just pawns, they are people; people who died for a cause they couldn’t have any say in. Their lives were not their own; but Ahsoka’s life wasn’t her own either. This is the tragedy of The Clone Wars, but there’s also an ironic beauty about it – Ahsoka wouldn’t have had her master or her best friend, if it wasn’t for the war. It’s a story about the philosophy of choice, hope, good and evil of course, friendship and loyalty. Victory and its highest cost, death; the consequences after a life spent fighting, which no one usually thinks about.

When the final shot rolls and we see Vader’s ominous figure step on to the same place where Ahsoka and Rex were last, as he digs his apprentice’s lightsaber and holds it, we realize what the moral of the story is. We see Anakin’s eyes behind Vader’s mask, and we feel the cold he feels – he ended up alone after all, after all his trying, he had an army, he led troopers, he cared for an apprentice, but he lost them all. He won the war, but he would rather have died with his friends – who he doesn’t know are still alive, and they don’t know what happened to him either; instead of being their enemy. But the time for choosing is over, and there is no going back for him now.

His reflection hits the clone helmet, and we see the image of Anakin, walking away from Ahsoka and Rex.

It doesn’t end with the war; it begins with it.

[dailydemonspotlight]

As the biggest fan of Shin Megami Tensei IV: Apocalypse on this big blue and green planet, may I ask you to cover my boy Krishna?

Krishna - Day 42 (Request)

Race: Deity

Alignment: Neutral

May 20th, 2024 (Shooting for, at least)

Throughout the course of this series, Hinduism has quickly risen the ranks of my favorite mythologies to look through. I've always had a passing interest in the third largest religion to date, but as time has gone on and I've continued on with this series, being forced to engage with it more has given me so much more insight into what it consists of, and given me a new respect for the followers of Shiva, Vishnu, and Brahma. Among the countless figures of Hinduism, one of the most popular and prominent, however, has to be today's Demon of the Day, the ever-popular avatar of Vishnu, Krishna.

Lovingly described as "Indian Michael Jackson" by the SMT community, Krishna is an important figure both in SMT IV:A, as well as Hindu mythology as a whole. In the metaphorical melting pot of world religions, folklore, and myth this series consists of, the interactions of Krishna with the cast of the series feel oddly in character for the role this Hindu prettyboy plays. And no, that isn't a joke. Krishna is popular both in and out of Hindu circles, canonically getting bitches left and right through his sheer charisma. As the eighth avatar of Vishnu, Krishna represents all that is worth preserving in the world- love, protection, kindness, compassion, all that jazz.

Throughout the central Hindu text, the Mahabharata, Krishna serves as a central character whose accomplishments are a bit too long and varied to recant here, but he could almost be seen as the main character of the text, and for good reason. He appears as a hero, a folkloric god-child, a prankster, a lover, and so much more, as his epithets are only beaten out by his achievements in how long and varied they are. It all begins with his birth, actually, one as strange as he is himself. In the Krishna Charitra, Krishna was born as the child of Devaki and Vasudeva, but the brother of his mother, Kamsa, forbids this, hearing of a prophecy that his nephew will take his life.

When Krishna is born, in classic mythological fashion, Vasudeva ends up trading away the just-born Krishna into the hands of his future foster mother, in exchange for her daughter. Turns out, oops, the Hindu goddess Yogamaya was residing within that child, and she delivers a message of imminent death to Kamsa regarding Krishna's successful birth. Throughout Krishna's childhood, he was famous for being a prankster who loved, and I mean LOVED butter. For some reason. I don't get it, personally. However, in spite of his troublemaking ways, he also grew to love and protect the people of his home village, working to save them from disaster time and time again. Throughout his time as a child, he played for fun and laughs beyond all else, messing with people often just for his own amusement.

When he grew older, he soon fulfilled his oracle-given right, defeating his uncle Kamsa and then proceeding to reinstate Kamsa's father, Ugrasena. After this, many myths differ- some say he went on to rule his own kingdom, others say he picked up a lot of chicks, but all eventually reconnect in the great winding tale of the Mahabharata. Unfortunately, rather famously, the Mahabharata is an insanely long and complex story, and I'd rather not get into it here in the scope of a bite-sized blog post. TL;DR, shit happens.

Krishna is portrayed... strangely in SMT. For a character famous for having blue skin, as his name can roughly translate to 'All-Blue,' his portrayal is odd, but I quite like the twist on design. The focus on teal and orange make a neat color contrast, and he maintains a youthful prettyboy appearance that I think fits very well. I wish I could get into this more, but I may need to start wrapping this up. Past that, he also has two other designs in the same game, being the spoilerific Vishnu-Flynn.

Vinny don't look.

...My only real comment here is, why did they give him lightsabers?

Overall, though, there is a lot more to Krishna that I could have gotten into. The winding tales of Hinduism are fascinating rabbit holes, but I won't recant them all here. I love how unique and interesting his design is, and apparently his role in IV:A is very important... though, admittedly, I haven't played it yet. Krishna is very deserving of being today's Demon of the Day.

[oifaaa]

Listen listen is the Percy Jackson show making changes so big that even me with my horrible little memory is noticing - yes Do I care - absolutely not I'm still enjoying the show and the changes so far have just helped keep me on my toes bc wtf do you mean Percy has 4 pearls?!?? What do you mean the summer solstice has happened?!!? What is going on I need to know !!!!

[pygmypouter]

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