#but it's not romantic in the traditional sense but also it's. it's a complex. you feel me? it's black damage. it's pale damage

[fennel-tea]

I had some thoughts piling up in my brain so I pulled up that limbus shipping chart going around. Hear me out ok

[pomefioredove]

Ngl I want a sequel to bad ending 'yuu gets sold' series

Cause imagine the boys go to NBC just to find out that yuu is actuality doing great, better than great, even better than the time they were doing in NRC

I like to think that Rollo is legitimate a nice person when you remove the hatred over magic type of stuff

He deffo makes sure that yuu is well fed and clean (let's be honest, not something that yuu always has in NRC) plus treat yuu greatly

rollo fans who are starving since everyone stopped talking about him after november I'm here for you. I see you. take my hand

parts 1 | 2 | 3 | kalim | 'bad' ending

summary: yuu transfers to NBC type of post: fic characters: rollo my beloved additional info: yuu is gender neutral, implied romantic ^_^

It had been a long six months for everyone at Night Raven College.

The departure- and subsequent absence- of their beloved Ramshackle prefect was very much felt.

Days were longer, nights were darker, the first year class itself felt empty.

"At least they're not dead," was the consensus.

Of course, you continued to communicate with your friends- it wasn't like you completely dropped off the map, although Noble Bell College had a stricter policy about phone usage.

You even sent some letters back and forth, yours filled with updates and mementos, theirs with pictures of all you'd left behind.

Did you miss NRC?

Well...

You missed your friends.

But Crowley? The overblots? Being everyone's personal therapist?

...Yeah. You could live without that.

Noble Bell College may have been more exclusive, and more strict in their code of conduct, but it was more peaceful, too. Smaller, less students, and much less reliance on magic, so that you and Grim could be whole students independent of one another.

The curriculum was much different than NRC's. Less of an emphasis on a personal connection to magic, and more on tradition, ritual, and history. There were few times when you'd have to sit out a class, or watch your friends have fun from the sidelines.

If anything, Rollo made a point of including you.

A part of it may have been personal pride- after all, he just couldn't resist showing you how much better he is.

But he also had a vague idea about how stressful your life at NRC really was, and how isolated you felt, despite being surrounded by people. It was his duty, in a sense, to rectify that.

Even if it meant you had to sit through his lectures and recitations of the traditional magic laws.

...Though, even with his intense adherence to tradition and structure, he made quite a show of being kind to you.

Despite his best efforts to claim fairness and righteousness, it was no secret to anyone that he favored you. You quickly became the only person he spent his free time with (not that he was particularly social in the first place...)

And... it was nice. Is nice.

He holds himself to high standards, and expects that of others; he's cold, harsh when he feels it necessary, and repressed in all ways imaginable.

And yet... well, there's no sabotage, no swindling, no scamming, no manipulation to make petty ends meet.

Rollo, as a person, is both confusingly complex and reassuringly simple. You know as much. He sticks to routine, to rules, to tradition. He's diligent in every sense of the word, and highly respected because of it.

And when the eyes of the other students are turned away, he treats you with a sort of gentleness that you'd become wholly unfamiliar with at NRC. Like a porcelain doll, like something precious he desires to wrap in cotton and silk and store somewhere safe.

You wonder if his behavior towards you is at all connected to the very reason he risked his status bringing you here in the first place... but you don't dwell too long. He's as mysterious as anything.

When your former classmates come to visit over break, it's like they're meeting an entirely different person.

"Happy to see us, eh? You're like, glowing," Ace smirks.

Deuce elbows him in the ribs for that comment. "What he meant is that you look great. I mean, really! You've been sleeping more?"

You nod. "Lots, yeah,"

"Weird, I woulda guessed they'd been working you to the bone. This place is all "no funny business", right?" Ace shakes his head.

You laugh, walking alongside your former fellow first years in the streets of Fleur City, the very ones you'd become so accustomed to in recent months.

"I've actually been doing well with my studies. I think I've finally decided what I want to do after graduation,"

"Oh, that's great!" Deuce says. A lengthy pause follows, much to your confusion- it's as if everyone has something they want to say, but won't be the first to say it.

Epel clears his throat. "You been 'doin alright?"

"Um... yeah. I have,"

"Cause... you know, if anyone was giving you trouble, we'd give 'em what for!"

You chuckle. "I'm fine, really. People here are pretty nice..."

Again, that same silence follows. Epel, Deuce, and Ace look between each other, as if daring the other to say the next thing.

This time, you take the initiative.

"Listen. If this is about Rollo, he's fine. I'm fine. He's been nothing but helpful,"

The tense silence breaks and Ace sighs, shaking his head. "You can't blame us for being worried,"

"I mean, this whole situation has been really shady. Everyone at NRC has been worried sick..." Deuce says. "We just wanted to make sure..."

You smile. "I appreciate it, but you really don't have to send in a rescue party. I've been... I've been really good. Happy. And I miss you guys to pieces, but I've felt closer to home here than anywhere else. Does that sound strange?"

A short pause follows. Deuce is the first to speak, his voice sounding strained. "Not at all. We just want you to be happy,"

You can tell he's trying really hard to sound positive. Epel, on the other hand, doesn't sugarcoat anything.

"You really won't come back with us?"

You smile again, though this one is wholly apologetic. "No, I don't think so,"

The three are quiet for another moment, and then seem to drop the subject. The rest of their stay goes by smoothly, even with all the strained moments where you can tell they have something to ask. You assume they've already figured out the answer.

The day trip is over by sundown and you return to campus just before curfew, taking a seat in one of the cozy (though currently empty) lounges by a familiar face.

"They're gone?" Rollo asks, not bothering to look up from the textbook he's perusing.

You watch him carefully, and think it's best not to mention you friend's attempt to bring you back with them.

"Yes, they're gone. We had fun, nothing happened,"

"Good," he says. A brief silence follows before he speaks again. "I do trust you. But-"

"You don't trust them. I understand. If I were you, I suppose I wouldn't, either. But I'm fine,"

"When are they coming back?"

"Two months. They're taking the weekend. Might bring some other people,"

Rollo hums a note of acknowledgment, fingers rolling around the pen in his right hand. The book is still open, though he's looking ahead now. His face is flushed.

You know he's unhappy with it, but he won't say anything. You're grateful he likes you enough to let you rub elbows with people he despises. Especially after all that's happened...

He stands, closing the book. "Very well. Let me know what day so that I may adequately prepare myself. Good night. Be safe,"

And with that, he takes his leave.

Ever distant. Ever polite. One might mistake the way he speaks for coldness or resentment if you weren't so familiar with his mannerisms by now.

You turn to look into the lounge fireplace behind you, watching the flames flicker and die until all that remains are soft, glowing embers, the same shade of red that burns on his cheeks when you look at him.

[frogspond200]

𝚂𝚒𝚖𝚘𝚗 𝙿𝚎𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚔𝚘𝚟

Requested by: Anon

Ask: Hey, I really REALLY. enjoyed you Simon Hcs, Could you do one for just normal and not yandered, please😫🙏🙏💓

Warnings: None

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Simon absolutely adores you. He worships the ground you walk on, your presence has brought a sense of stability and warmth into his life that he thought was lost forever.

Simon loves reading with you. Whether it's ancient scrolls, magical tomes, or simply a good storybook, he enjoys the companionship and discussions that come with it.

There is some residual angst in the relationship due to Simon's deep longing for Betty. While he's found happiness with you, he still carries the pain of losing his beloved Betty. Your understanding and support help him through these moments of melancholy.

Simon is a fan of cuddling. He finds solace in your arms, and the physical closeness reassures him that he's not alone in his struggles. It's a way for both of you to express affection and provide comfort.

Simon occasionally lets you in on his scientific projects. He trusts you enough to share his findings, inventions, and research. Your curiosity and insights often contribute to the success of these projects. You and Simon make a dynamic team when it comes to problem-solving. Your fresh perspective and his vast knowledge often lead to innovative solutions to the challenges you encounter in the Land of Aaa.

While he continues to grapple with the effects of the crown and the loss of Betty, your presence serves as a source of hope and emotional support.

Simon occasionally surprises you with his musical talents, playing the guitar or singing songs he's composed. It's a beautiful way for him to express his emotions and share moments of joy with you. You help Simon regain his sense of self and independence. While you support him, you also encourage him to pursue his own interests and passions beyond his past and the crown.

Despite the complexities and challenges of your relationship, the love you share with Simon is unwavering. Together, you navigate the ups and downs of life in the Land of Aaa, always by each other's side.

Simon Petrikov tends to take things slow in a relationship, especially considering his complex past and the emotional baggage he carries as a result of the Ice King's crown. He's likely to proceed with caution, prioritizing emotional intimacy and trust-building before rushing into anything too fast. Simon values stability and a sense of security, so he would be mindful of not overwhelming the relationship with speed.

Simon Petrikov can indeed be a romantic partner who appreciates the beauty in small gestures. While he may not always have access to traditional roses, he would find creative ways to express his love and create romantic moments. For example, he might use magical flowers or other enchanting elements to create a path leading to a warm, cozy bath for you to enjoy together. Simon would certainly put effort into making your time together special and memorable…

To set the mood, Simon would light scented candles or diffuse essential oils with calming fragrances like lavender or vanilla. The soothing aromas would fill the air, creating a serene and peaceful environment for you to relax and unwind.

Simon is also a fan of playing board games or card games. He finds that they not only provide entertainment but also help to foster a sense of togetherness and friendly competition.

You can spend hours laughing, strategizing, and creating fond memories while staying warm and cozy indoors.

And of course, Simon's musical talents come into play here as well. He might serenade you with a beautiful song on his guitar or share some enchanting melodies on the piano, adding a touch of magic and romance to the cozy atmosphere.

[llamagoddessofficial]

So we've seen your Error headcannons, can we get your Nightmare ones since you're in a romantical mood?

Oh can you.....

He's a very complex individual. Under all that rage, when he likes you and wants your company, he's actually a very calm, intelligent and eloquent lover. Princely, if you will. He likes hearing you talk, and is very good at roping you into chatting about your hobbies for hours while he just adoringly stares. He enjoys the arts, music, poetry... once he finds someone he wants, you'd never even know how much anger he's set aside.

(Unlike Error, he's aware that constant anger isn't a very attractive trait)

While he's first starting to develop feelings, it's one of those situations where you won't realise how much he likes you until you see the way he acts around other people. You might think he feels neutral about you, at best- he talks to you, but never about himself, seeming to prefer when you're the one talking. Maybe chortles at a joke every now and then. But overall, he's relatively quiet, relatively still-faced... not very outwardly emotional in any manner.

... Then you see how he acts around everyone else. Hair-thin temper that leads to physical violence with anyone who annoys him too long, dismissive and mean about any subject, he tells people who talk too long to shut up and makes underhanded cruel 'jokes' at their expenses. The same tentacles that curl around your hand or stroke your back as he walks by will grab Dust around the head and slam him into the ground because he made a poorly timed joke.

Nightmare has an eye for traditional courtship. Once his heart is set on you, expect bouquets, jewellery, fine evening dining, strolls through midnight gardens, flowery handwritten letters. He carries a locket with your portrait.

You would think his love languages are gift giving and acts of service, considering how often it seems to be the only way he shows love. But deep down... it's actually physical touch. He's just far too afraid to show it.

Nightmare would do well with a physically affectionate partner. Someone who'll cuddle up to him first so has an excuse to snuggle back. But someone less physical would also be good- sometimes he's afraid his aversion to touch will drive away a partner, and somebody who doesn't really mind either way soothes those fears.

You can't lie to him. Well, I mean... you can. But he can sense it, and he'll always know. Whether or not he lets you think he believes you is up to him.

He has a locked box in his castle full of sketches and small oil paint studies of you. You'll know he's finally totally comfortable with you when he politely asks if he can draw you.

His tentacles often act on his true feelings. Whether that's snapping out to choke Killer for asking if you top, or lovingly curling around you when he's half asleep.

... He's actually pretty childish. Especially when in love. Though he's good at hiding it under layers of highborn mannerisms, he fucking hates when there are any potential rivals for your affection. He tends to lash out against the 'rivals' in underhanded manners whenever you're not looking, then really lay on the charm and affection with you to ensure you're not thinking of leaving him. If you're asexual or demi it may not be that big of a deal because he's soothed by your lack of interest in others, but if you're pansexual or bi, it might be a genuine problem that needs addressing.

Call him "my love". He likes feeling like your one and only.

[catmarlowastrology]

Harry Styles: Venus in Aquarius

🌐 Venus in Aquarius

Venus in Aquarius suggests not just a taste for the unconventional, but also a kind of emotional fluidity and experimentalism when it comes to relationships. This can be especially true for Harry Styles, whose public persona itself is a celebration of non-conformity, seen through his androgynous fashion choices and open-minded interviews.

Venus in Aquarius seeks a mental connection and values intellectual compatibility just as much as physical attraction. This placement also suggests a certain level of emotional detachment, not in the sense of lacking care or love, but in requiring a considerable amount of emotional and intellectual space. Aquarius places a high value on individual freedom, including the freedom to explore varying perspectives and experiences.

🦂Jupiter in Scorpio

Jupiter in Scorpio is a placement that is associated with an thirst for emotional, psychological, and spiritual depth. This combination suggests a hunger for transformative experiences that shake the very foundation of one's being. For Harry, this could mean that his romantic endeavors are not just a search for partnership but also a quest for mutual evolution. In relationships, he could be attracted to situations that offer more than just surface-level interactions. Instead, he might seek complex, multi-faceted connections that allow him to explore the darker, more mysterious aspects of love and human interaction.

🎭 Venus in Aquarius square Jupiter in Scorpio

The square between Venus in Aquarius and Jupiter in Scorpio in Styles' chart shows tension between two needs: the Aquarian requirement for emotional freedom, and the Scorpionic demand for emotional depth. Such tension could lead to a relationship dynamic where he finds himself constantly oscillating between wanting to explore emotional depths and needing space and freedom. This may result in alternating periods of emotional vulnerability and detachment. He might dive into a deeply committed, all-consuming romantic engagement, but later feel the need to re-establish his independence, leading to a temporary withdrawal and a restructuring of the relationship.

This aspect could make his romantic life somewhat turbulent and highly dynamic. The pattern of closeness and distance might be a recurring theme, where relationships undergo multiple transformations, either deepening through cycles of intensity or liberating through phases of individuality. This tension could manifest in relationships that undergo significant changes over time or in a series of relationships that each offer very different experiences, from deeply emotional and intense to liberating and unconventional. His choice of partners might also reflect this complexity; he may be attracted to strong, independent individuals who can handle emotional depths, or alternately, to individuals who are willing to explore non-traditional relationships.

If you found this article enlightening and wish to delve deeper into the unique aspects of your own astrological makeup, you can purchase a Natal Promise Report. This specialized report provides an in-depth analysis of your natal chart, highlighting the promise, challenges, and opportunities that are astrologically encoded in your birth chart.

[cheekinpermission]

Happy 500 followers!!

How about 1 and 10 for the ask game?

Thank you for you participation, anon! Ask game is here! Send them in if you want <3

1. Who's hand did you first grab? Why? Would you choose someone else if you could do it over again?

I grabbed Idia's hand! When I first got into TWST, I had absolutely no clue what I was getting into so I really just went based on which voice actors I recognized LOL. I know Kōki Uchiyama from a ton of different anime (JJK, Buddy Daddies, Haikyuu, BNHA, Yuri on Ice, etc.) so I just went with his character. While Idia doesn't crack the top 5 for me, I don't think I'd choose again. The only reason I would is if it impacted the story somehow but I really doubt it will. I'm COMITTED.

10. Top five favorite characters?

Grim occupies all top five spots. BUT since that's boring, so I'll limit my choices to the main cast lmao. (My love for the dire beast is PROFOUND) I got VERY wordy here so here's the short answer: 1. Riddle Rosehearts

2. Vil Schoenheit

3. Malleus Draconia

4. Ruggie Bucchi

5. Kalim Al-Asim Explanation below the cut! (I got very excited to talk about my favorites and wrote a lot so I figured I'd condense it for people who didn't want to scroll through it all lol whoopsies.)

1. Riddle Rosehearts - I have no explanation for this?? He's pretty much the opposite of my usual favorite characters so idk what happened here. I've always been drawn to the Alice in Wonderland aesthetic so maybe that has something to do with it? He's got such great character writing, too?? Everything about his personality just makes sense when you know his backstory. When we learn that Riddle's tyrant of a mother was strict and controlling over him, the pieces just seem to fall into place. His whole life was just following her rules and studying like a good little boy, and when he stepped out of line even a little bit he was reprimanded harshly for it. Of course, he's going to the exact same thing once he's in a position of power. It's all he knows. He's just another version of his mother. Not only does he uphold the tradition of punishing rule breakers rather severely as he was when he was younger, I think there's also an element of fear there as well. Like, his mother just instilled an innate fear of breaking rules because bad things would happen if he didn't follow them exactly. I really do see Riddle as a scared little boy who is suddenly realizing that he was set up for failure by his own mother. And THEN he makes an honest effort to improve himself post-overblot?? His transformation after the fact is one of the more obvious ones and I'm just so proud of him. A THOUSAND HEAD PATS!! Okay, I'll stop rambling about him lmao I love Riddle sm (Also want to make clear I'm not saying Riddle was right for anything he did, only that I appreciate how his character was handled. Added for legal purposes so people don't come after me :c ) 2. Vil Schoenheit - This one comes as no surprise to me. Pretty boys who challenge gender stereotypes are RIGHT up my alley. Like Riddle, I think Vil has some great character writing is one of the more complex characters in the game. He just feels so compassionate to me?? I don't know how to explain it - he just gives such nurturing vibes. I'd trust this man with my drink at a bar fr fr. And then he tells Epel off for saying ballet is too "girly" for him?? Thank you TWST for bringing me this man. I pray at the altar of Vil Schoenheit. 3. Malleus Draconia - Doesn't Malleus top everyone's lists LOL I think my favoritism for the dragon man is more to do with his relationship with Yuu than anything else tbh. He's like one of three characters that actively engages with the main character and I think they've got such a fun relationship. Two people who feel very alone in the world finding friendship (or something more for you malleyuu shippers) in each other is so beautiful. I'm glad they can be there for each other like that. Side note: I adore romantic Malleyuu for sure, but I think it's equally as endearing if all of Malleus's flirtatious lines were never meant to be romantic but he's just really bad at communicating his feelings in a platonic way. Like, he doesn't mean to flirt he's just socially inept. 4. Ruggie Bucchi - Gremlin hyena boy is just too good for words. Ngl, I started off not really liking Ruggie all that much because of what he did in the Savanaclaw book. My mans was basically shoving people down flights of stairs?? I'm not really sure where the turn around happened tbh. Mischievous personality types do tend to draw me in in fiction so that probably has a lot to do with it. I also felt really bad for him at the end of the Savanaclaw book when Leona was ready to Thanos him out of existence despite everything Ruggie had done for him (and continues to do for him). I appreciate his work ethic, I can respect the hustle, and he's got such a cute little laugh. I wanna pet those big ole ears of his. Leona - pay this man more smh 5. Kalim Al-Asim - SUNSHINE BOY!!

He's such a breath of fresh air in this game LMAO. As much as I love the fact that most of the cast are unapologetically flawed, it's nice to have a few characters that are genuinely good people. His VA (Kazuki Furuta) absolutely kills it imo. I can hear his laugh in my head as I'm typing this - it's just so warm and happy :D He also breaks the sterotype of most rich characters in media by just being a nice person? He's not evil or greedy (although naive and entitled) and he just wants to be bffs with Jamil. Break his heart Jamil and we're gonna have WORDS. Also just like FORGAVE JAMIL??? His bfffl yeeted him across the desert, brainwashed him and admitted to wanting to get him kicked from the school and Kalim didn't really hold it against him. He was so understanding and sweet about everything AHHHHH

[allbluedepths]

This was originally part of the ship bingo post, but it spiraled out of control and became a very large pile of thoughts. So instead, the Wings of the Emperor AU is getting its own ship dynamics post for Shanks, Mihawk, and Benn because it's sorta its own thing, and I'm having a hell of a time trying to figure out how to even tag for it because none of their relationships fit in neat boxes very well.

(Wings of the Emperor AU is my early Red Hair Pirates era AU where Mihawk chooses to not become a Warlord and ends up not joining, but semi-sailing with the Red Hair Pirates. It mostly focuses on Mihawk's early dueling years with Shanks, his interactions with the Red Hair Pirates, and eventually getting swept up into their sailing shenanigans. TL;DR: I had the thought of "who would Mihawk be if forced to answer the question of 'who am I beyond just being a swordsman'" and it all spiraled from there.

For the record, some of the earlier posts aren’t 100% accurate anymore — big one being that I traded the “Mihawk was almost Shanks’ first mate” bit for something else — but this is an indulgent ship post, not me correcting my own lore post LOL.)

So, here’s a pile of thoughts to get my brain in gear to actually write more of the fic itself, haha. : )

This AU is… complicated? I'd say it's endgame Mihawk/Shanks/Benn triad in a very non-traditional relationships way. For example, by the time Mihawk semi-joins them and turns down the Warlord position, even Shanks and Mihawk don't have a concrete romantic relationship, and theirs is still the closest to that, haha. I guess it's best classified as:

Shanks and Mihawk: close relationship bordering on romantic; there's mutual interest, but their definitions of romantic also don't match "standard" definitions of romance, so it doesn't always read as that to others. Rivals/partners with a romantic flair?? Since Mihawk turning down the Warlord position and choosing to join them comes with a good chunk of other upheaval, there's a conscious decision to not really label anything, but they're on the same page of being mutually interested.

Shanks and Benn: hellooooo complex intertwined captain-first mate relationships. The fun duality of being both incredibly simple and incredibly complex. I'm team "many working captain-first mate relationships basically become life partnerships", and they're probably the prime example of that. Inconveniently for tagging purposes, it's smack dab in the middle of "&" and "/" relationships for AO3, so… eh, the vibes are vague. The details past the fact that they're basically each other's most trusted person stop mattering at a certain point.

Benn and Mihawk: Complicated, haha. By far the side of the triad with the most development to be had; right now, it's more like they're separate sides of a V polycule, rather than a triad, but the foundation's there. An odd, unexpected friendship turned an even more unexpected camaraderie as the years go by and Mihawk's around more and more. Absolutely no one outside of them (and occasionally Shanks) can really parse out what's going on here. Again, just over the line of what I'd tag as "&", and develops veeeeeery slowly over the years in its own undefined way.

…That ended up as a whole ass wall of words, haha. Shorter summary if you're looking for general relationship shifts:

Mihawk sails with the Red Hair Pirates (~6 years after the RHP start): only Shanks/Mihawk are semi/almost-romantic

Sailing time until Dawn Island: Shanks/Mihawk slowly get their shit together; Shanks/Benn inch toward maybe another realization or two, Benn/Mihawk "two introvert cats" bond starts really kicking in

Post-Dawn Island: Shanks/Benn get their shit together (thank you, realizations about mortality)

The decade-ish between Dawn Island and current canon: It's a polycule between an Emperor, an Emperor's first mate, and the World's Greatest Swordsman. Who cares if it makes sense to anyone else; it works for them, lol.

If you read this far, thank you, and I hope you enjoyed an unexpectedly long analysis drop for an AU I haven't posted for in a while and mostly exists in my brain right now, haha!

[fivesmannequinwife]

Five's vision of Dolores (the one we see in his hallucination, the Real Life one, which I assume is how Five saw her most of the time in the Apocalypse) is absolutely based on Grace, both aesthetically and in a more emotional sense, since that is the only grown woman Five knew before getting stuck in the apocalypse, and thus the only reference he has of how a woman/wife is.

Given that Grace was the one that took care of them since childhood, Five associates the idea of this beautiful, blonde, immaculate woman with the warmth and protection and security that Grace offered. This is also why we are told that it was Dolores the one who tried to take care of Five (like how she didn't like that he drank), because that's what Grace did.

It also makes sense that he saw her as incredibly clean and well-put, given that a) he himself always looks immaculateand is thus understandable that he looks for the same in his partner, b) that's how Grace always looked, and c) cleanliness and "vanity" are two things that Five couldn't afford to have himself for most of his life but possibly wanted, and so he projected this desire onto Dolores.

And before anyone says that this means that a) Five didn't like her in a romantic/sexual way or b) that this is weird... it is weird, but it's even weirder when you remember that it's very common for men to subconsciously look for traits that reminds them of their mothers (the same for women and their dads!). Therefore, Dolores sharing similar traits to Grace doesn't mean Five doesn’t like her in a romantic/sexual way. Quite the contrary tbh lol Don't think too much about it lmao

And BEFORE someone says that this makes Five sexist (due to imagining his perfect wife as perfectly dressed in heels, long blonde hair, and more traditional clothes) or something--- pls, the dude got stuck ALONE in an apocalypse when he was a CHILD, and before that he was mainly maintained in this bubble of crime-fighting and studying. He didn't have much time to understand the complexities of human beings, and the only DEEP and REAL connection he had to grown women was a robot made to the likes of his father and to be the perfect, docile housewife...

He obviously didn't like the docile part, as we know that Dolores was contantly challenging him, but his idea of perfect woman is still heavily influenced by Grace, particularly when it came to anesthetics and care

((Also, media is likely the only place from where he learned about romantic love, which would explain his cheesiness and exaggerated Morticia-Gomez way of behaving with Dolores during the hallucination lol probably also used as a way to be in contact with his most sensitive side!))

[todos-quieren-ser-corsario]

Calypso's wedding

OK, so I'm out sick and have had time to do, um, maybe a few rewatches. And doing that has me bowled over by just how good this season is. So well-crafted and tightly narratively structured. Not only all the callbacks to S1, but all the internal callbacks within the season. Some of them IMO really adds to the understanding of the sex scene, hence another meta. 

There are so many incredible takes out there on episodes 6 and 7. (It’s a brilliant arc and narrative because the acting, writing, staging and lighting choices can be read many different ways and multiple things can be true at once). Ed and Stede's first time together didn’t happen under good circumstances. Things happened that they couldn't control, and it sent them crashing into that next stage in their relationship. Even so, their first time scene is set to not just an incredibly romantic song, but a song that's very much about long-term partnership.

I only know the French version, and I'm so glad they used that one. Others have written on this, but despite the title, the song is not about seeing life through rose-colored glasses, i.e. in an unrealistic way. The lyrics talk of how being in love and being in a committed relationship can make living easier and less lonely. For two people who both live with complex trauma and with a lot of guilt and shame, that's such a hopeful message. The lyrics even state that being in love is ‘une parte de bonheur’, one part of happiness, further underscoring the season’s themes that you need more than just romantic love to have a fulfilling and meaningful life. 

The song keeps going over the credits, i.e. the fade to black love scene, and includes this part: ‘It's him for me, it's me for him/He has sworn it to me for life’. Like, these are vows. These are wedding kind of vows.

This is a deeply romantic and necessary moment for them, maybe even unavoidable because they are so deeply attracted to one each other. They're being so careful around each other and the ways in which they touch and speak. But circumstances changed, the past intruded in punishing ways and so did the plan of taking it slow. The fireworks couldn’t wait because they are alive right now, one of them needs comfort and Calypso’s birthday demands to be recognized. And so the sex scene both foreshadows a wedding and is a deeply intimate wedding moment in itself.

There's been so much wedding imagery during the season, and it's interesting to see how episode 6 has many callbacks to the beginning of the season. Calypso’s birthday party is colorful, exploding with flowers, dressing up, music and song. This in contrast to the the joyless wedding raid and the bizarro wedding cake party on the revenge with a lonely Ed playing with his cake toppers. This last imagery is replayed in episode six, now in actuality and in golden light with Stede leading Ed around the room in a dance of desire to live music. The very brief screen time explicitly shows an exchange of question and consent. It ends by drawing the curtains, giving both the sense of a veil and allusions to a chuppa (a Jewish wedding canopy the couple stands under; this is important to me as someone who headcanons Ed as Jewish). 

Their morning after has something of a post-nuptial feel to it, with the lazy lounging in bed. (It also feels true to first-time early relationship sex and the new reality of bridging distances after you've touched each other so intimately). But Ed’s warm in his robe. He’s had fireworks-grade orgasms. He’s both made and eaten something for the first time this season after rejecting food as poison in the gravy basket. The food is shared toast and marmalade, a callback to the first night they ever spent together in which marmalade became both a symbol of comfort and the possibility of change. There’s even a morning gift, which is a tradition in Northern Europe at least: A husband is to give his wife something (usually jewelry) the first morning after marriage. Ed hands Stede a piece of twine with a present of emotional intimacy and vulnerability: His memory of mermaid Stede saving his life. 

I love how this arc explicitly thematizes the way sexual intimacy can be so much easier than psychological intimacy and emotional vulnerability. Ed and Stede spend the next day initially relaxing together. As others have said, the color scheme across this entire two-episode arc is deeply symbolic, going from the very bright colors of the party, the red flower between them symbolizing red love, the purple symbolizing Ed's love for Stede, to a golden light that fades into the harsher light of the next day which brings back the realities of the external world. Ed is content and relaxed, eating meals, sharing of himself. But of course the disruption of the pirate world they exist in keeps growing until it's too much for him.

The mermaid scene in episode 3 was brilliant on so many levels. One of them was allowing us to see Ed’s deepest feelings and love for Stede in a situation in which he is unguarded and fully himself. The love. The affection. The trust. The joy. The comfort. The genius of structuring the narrative in this way is that we get to know about it. We get to know that these are Ed's true feelings for Stede, while seeing how guarded he still is emotionally and how much communicating they still have to do. It makes the painful lack of casual touching and the physical distance in their body language this season easier to witness, because it's completely understandable that Ed needs to protect himself still. 

The twine is a callback to rope, to fishing nets, to the imagery of the gravy basket. Ed is giving Stede a morning present of a piece of twine as an offering, a gift, a piece of his most intimate self. However, a piece of twine is also a string, a part of the ceremony of handfasting, another Northern European tradition: The old practice of a betrothal or temporary wedding if you couldn’t afford an actual wedding yet. (It’s the reason it's called tying the knot). Ed is giving Stede, in a rare moment in which he’s taken off his rings, the equivalent of a wedding ring. 

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Do you mind if I ask your top 5 (or top 7) favorite BL and your top 3 (or top 5) favorite GL? And why do you love them? It can be from any media : books, manga, anime, manhwa, tv series or movies.....

Hard question again! I'm going to do 7 for GL and 7 for BL, again under the cut!

In no particular order:

GL:

Revolutionary Girl Utena - is including it on this list cheating since it's not primarily GL? I don't care, it's too good to not recommend. A teenage tomboy fencer gets 'engaged' to a mysterious girl by winning a duel, many more duels happen alongside symbolism, feminist messages and a really mature handling of topics like depression and abuse. REALLY dark though, but worth it! Deserves its place as one of the classic anime.

Bloom into you - incredible handling of internalised homophobia, first love, high school relationships both in the platonic and romantic sense and golden child syndrome. A heartwarming but occasionally heartwrenching story that felt very real. Bonus points for the author actually being a sapphic woman.

The Handmaiden - sapphic thriller from Korea set in the early 1900's! Dark but incredibly engaging, surprisingly happy and hopeful despite how much the girls have to suffer to get their happily ever after. The book it's based on, The Fingersmith, was also great!

GAP - Thailand's first GL series and got so popular there are now multiple other projects coming this & next year! The protagonist is a uni graduate hired in her idol's company only to discover the lady is both meaner and hotter than she thought. Lesbian crisis and full-on romcom shenanigans follow, though the series also comments on traditional family values in Thailand acting as an excuse for homophobia (the idol, Sam, is in an arranged engagement to a man as ordered by her grandma). Don't worry though, the show is mostly very fun and light & ends very very happily for the ladies.

Whisper Me a Love Song - look, as a former band kid I can't not mention the band lesbians manga. It's a highschool romance full of miscommunication and funny/cute shenanigans with occasional sadness to balance it all out. Very relaxing. It's getting an anime adaptation next year so looking forward to that!

Riddle Story of Devil - as an action series fan this was pretty incredible. A school full of assasins, everyone is sapphic and they're all badasses? High school me was obsessed and I still am. The manga is much better though, the anime is both way less gay and develops the characters much less due to the story being compressed into 12 episodes.

Legend of Yunqian - short fantasy drama from a small Chinese studio, it's about a regular young lady going back in time via a magic fan and falling for a magical warrior woman. Lovely and available on Youtube for free!

Honorary mentions: Flip Flappers (anime), Clear and muddy loss of love (novel), She likes to cook and she likes to eat (manga & TV series)

BL:

Heaven Official's Blessing - come on, it's incredible. Dark fantasy with immortal love that breaks even the most powerful curses, a complex and deeply human protagonist, a lot of emotional moments and incredible use of flashbacks to slowly reveal his backstory to the readers- what's not to love? Just a warning, when I say it's dark fantasy I'm not kidding. The series has funny and light moments but when shit gets real, it gets REAL.

No.6 - just like RGU isn't technically GL, this isn't technically BL but I am gonna talk about anyway, it's incredible. It's a dystopian sci-fi story about Shion, a teenager who discovers a government conspiracy and works to stop it alongside his new friend/love interest Nezumi. It treats the gay relationship super casually, there's no sexuality angst or anything, it was super refreshing! Read the novels though, the anime compressed the story a lot.

The Untamed/Mo Dao Zu Shi - love the intrigue, love the main romance, love the fantasy elements! My first Chinese series and one I hold dear for introducing me to the wuxia (Chinese fantasy) genre. Any version of the story is great but I'd recommend to start with the series and then read the books.

Kinnporsche - it's deeply insane and I love it for that. Everyone is gay, everyone commits crimes (they're in the mafia, so. Yeah) and it makes for a really entertaining show even if its darker elements aren't always super well handled.

Not me the series - Motorcycle gang of young anarchists against corruption! Very radical and critical of capitalism and the police system, engaging and fast paced. The director/showrunner is a trans activist/filmmaker so it's not like she doesn't know what she's talking about. It's very universal so I'd recommend it even to people who normally don't watch BL. One minus point for minor queerbaiting with 2 side characters, nothing major but it did bother me a bit + felt unnecessary in a series full of queer characters.

Cherry magic - queer office romance + mind reading! If that combination sounds interesting please do check it out, it was super cute. Bonus for very realistically human protags and an explicitly aroace side character.

Semantic error - opposites attract-type romance between an introverted, collected STEM prodigy and an extroverted art student partnered together for a project. The protagonist is autistic and written pretty well so I latched onto the show immediately, bonus points for side queer representation (bi character who's a super cool and pretty lady, love her).

Honorary mentions: Word of Honor (series), Yuri on ice (anime, only homoerotic sports anime to make the gay explicit, iconic), Nobleman Ryu's wedding (series, short but v heartwarming!)

[your-astro-mami]

Hi, uhm what placements/aspects/degrees do you think can make someone unlucky in love? I always see posts about those who are lucky in that department but rarely those who aren’t

I wouldn't interpret these placements as unlucky, but I will give explanation to why there could be problems when it comes to love.

Venus in 6th, 8th or 12th house

Venus in 6th can make someone view love as responsibility, as something that has to happen. Partnership is like a requirement rather than a joy. Venus in 6th can have very high standards, a lot of demands for their partners and this can be very difficult for the opposite party in a relationship. Venus in 8th attracts toxic dynamics in love. They like people who are unhealthy for them, people who are exciting, but the relationship is just bad. They could get in secret relationships, forbidden affairs, there is toxicity written all over it. Venus in 12th can be blinded by love. Doesn't matter how many people tell you that person is bad for you, you don't see it. They can be delusional and there is no sense of reality. Can be beautiful if they are with the right person though.

Venus conjunct/square Saturn, Saturn in 5th/7th or ruler of the 5th or 7th house conjunct Saturn

e.g. Virgo on the 5th house cusp, Virgo is ruled by Mercury, Mercury is conjunct Saturn.

Strong Venus-Saturn aspects generally show that love doesn't come easily. They can be a late bloomer, meet their love later in life, get married later in life. Note that this can also be interpreted as attraction to people who are older/more mature/someone they view as authority. Venus-Saturn can also show romantic difficulties, good relationships that have outside factors that prevent them from happening. Saturn in 5th or 7th are interpreted similarly. Saturn in 5th can show lack of sexual desire or late sexual awakening, Saturn in 7th can point to marriage later in life.

Venus square Jupiter

This is nothing major, but can point to your ego becoming a problem in your relationship. Higher-than-thou attitude towards partners, selfish behavior. Is it always like this? No, but in some cases it could be the problem. Also no sense of responsibility in relationships.

Venus conjunct South Node, South Node in 5th or 7th (or ruler of 5th or 7th conjunct South Node)

e.g. Virgo on the 5th house cusp, Virgo is ruled by Mercury, Mercury is conjunct the South Node.

You might hold a lot of relationship karma. Attachment to the past, difficulty moving on, living in the past when it comes to love. It can be quite overwhelming and there can be a sense that nothing will be as ever good as something you have already experienced.

Venus conjunct/opposite/square Uranus

This isn't unlucky, but it can show that you could attract a lot of relationships with an on/off dynamic. Peace doesn't work for you. You want thrill and excitement, you are easily bored. Love is chaos.

Venus conjunct/opposite/square Neptune or Venus in Pisces, Neptune in 7th

Similarly to Venus in 12th, strong aspects with Venus and Neptune or Venus in Pisces can show someone who is blinded by love, someone who views love as a sacrifice. You do everything for others, but do they do everything for you? It can show romantic idolization, you are impressed by things other people aren't. You fall in love easily. There is lack of rationality, lack of realistic outlook, sometimes straight up delusion. They can be easily jealous and insecure in relationships, they need reassurance and it can never be enough. HOWEVER, in a good relationship this can be extremely romantic, very loving, love feels like a dream, like something out of a movie.

Venus in Aries, Scorpio or Virgo

Venus is in detriment in Aries and Scorpio and in Fall in Virgo. In detriment there are difficulties, it feels harmed and complex in a way. In fall (Virgo) it just feels unfamiliar, there is lack of strength in Venus. As for actual interpretations, Aries and Scorpio are ruled by Mars (in traditional Astrology Scorpio is ruled by Mars). Mars is the planet of force and action, aggression, violence, so when Venus is in either one of these signs, it can show that love can be uneasy, complex. There is attraction to unhealthy, difficult dynamics in love. Venus in Virgo in my opinion, isn't bad, it can show having very high standards and it can often point to people who are quite aromantic.

[tenebrisdivina]

Godspousery: A Different type of Relationship

This begins my series of posts on Godspousery

Art: by art of yayu

After receiving permission from my deities; I have been guided to share some of my experience with spousery as it may be of help or interest to some, since there is a lot of confusion and misconceptions around what this path actually is and means.

To preface this: I am more traditional and old school meaning that godspousery to my eyes is only marriage to the divine. I have been married to both my spouses ( who are demonic divine dark lords) for 6 years (at point of this writing) and have worked closely with various divine beings and spirits for close to 16 years now.

I have noticed in more recent times that some people misconstrue the term godspouse to mean just about any and all types of relationships with the divine. In my experience this is not the case. It is not a term that covers all types of relationships ( ie familial, platonic, devotional etc). Nor should it be used as a catch all phrase as there is a distinct difference between these types of relationships. Genuine godspousery is not the same as a platonic or other relationship with the divine. Nor is it a stand in for any form of romantic or sexual relationship with the divine.  The term spouse is used for a reason ( ie married to the divine). I am also of the viewpoint that devotional polytheism and devotee ought to be used more often to refer to these other types of relationships instead of lumping it all together under one term.

Godspousery is a sacred path and practice. It is not something to be taken lightly nor for the human egoic wants and needs, since its really not about you or your ego. I have the experience of having a patron, having normal devotional and/or working relationships with gods, spirits and Demonic divine as well as being espoused. All of these types of relationships are different; though most often share an element of devotion and being a devotee and some are more heavily focused on this then others- such as patronage. While godspousery and patronage both have heavy elements of devotion to them, one of the key differences I have found is that my spouses are connected to me on a much deeper level, soul level- then just normal devotion. They know me ( the entirety of my being) in ways few others do. How we connect on this deep level is rather like puzzle pieces fitting together- but in a way in which each of use is whole in and of ourselves (still learning to be on my part; though it is encouraged)- however there is a sense of joining and completeness to this relationship. Of balance between us all so that we may build and prosper together. It feels like home. Of course there is love as well- but this more complex than what humans often consider love to be. Especially with such darker beings as I am bound with. The Demonic divines’ ( and deities’ ) understanding of what love is reaches far beyond what humans know it as. And often it may not look like anything humans are familiar with. There is also a lot of trust and learning to trust my spouses in this and on my personal path. There is a depth of presence and feeling of being held in a sense but  rather across all aspects of myself and in all realms, that comes with this perhaps particularly to my dynamic at least.

 On this- a side note; there is no room in godspousery especially at this depth of relationship, for co-dependence or toxic/problematic attachment styles  or relationship patterns etc. If one genuinely connects with a god/god-level being on this level and one still has these problematic traits; they are soon worked through so that a healthier type of relationship between the parties is formed and possible. One thing about this is that a genuine deity/ god-level being- will not tolerate, enable or conform to ones insecurities or problematic/toxic attachment styles and relationship patterns. They can help one to move and heal into a healthier place, but they will not interact with you in a way that enables these styles to continue- especially in a such a depth of relationship. While the deities and beings in question may be “understanding” of this is a way- they do not enable it.

One of the main differences I have found between Patronage and Spousery- is that while my Patron knows me well as well and knows my soul so to speak- it is a less intimate dynamic in a sense. He knows me well and guides me as a close mentor, cares about me specifically and guides my path, but there is more of an overarching kind of strategy to it. Not to say that my Spouses don’t also have this, but it is a bit more calculating and for me patronage, is more focused on guiding me rather than the intimate relationship that Spousery affords. My Husbands feel closer to my heart and more deeply “internally” connected- They nourish my soul and They are a place of rest. While my Patron can also nourish me it is not to the depth of how my Husbands do so. ((sometimes for some godspouses; a patron may be the Spouse, but this is the difference I have noted between Them in my situation.)

Godspousery is also different from parental relationship with deities. Parental relationships (which I experienced while being a devotee of Setekh and Kali ma) feel very- well parental. While I was deeply devoted to them, regular worship, bhakti etc, It was more casual in a way. I could connect about anything and they would offer advice or aid. Tbh it was impactful and healing but it was not this soul level depth that my Spouses have. While I called Setekh and Kali Ma my patrons and for a while they were- it is still a different relationship from my actual patronage with Lord Abaddon. In all cases I felt cared about by these divine beings and have been intimate with them. But with the more “parental deities” it wasn’t so personal, so deep reaching and was more similar to a “regular” devotee relationship with a deity. My spouses are also obviously a lot more intimate with me and also know me with a depth that the others “don’t”. All of these relationships have been and are very valuable and meaningful to my journey and path. But being espoused- my Partners also have more impact on me then anyone else.

All these types of relationships mentioned are again different from regular devotee and/or working with the other deities and demonic divine beings, and all are impactful in their own ways. Regular devotion and “working with” is often more “business-like.” Some beings I work with may be stricter on how They are to be approached and worked with, and some may over time become more like casual acquaintances and friendly. But there is still a distance to it- even if some of these practices involve sexual relations/exchange, it is more “professional.” These beings also know I am owned by and married to my Husbands, so there can be also a reservedness to the interactions. ( I use the term owned because I am- in a BDSM sense I am in a heavy M/s relationship with my Husbands, this is personal but also aids in my specific workings, priestessing and dynamic- obviously this is not the case for all godspouses etc).

[thrawns-backrest]

Satellites

Pairing: Galen Erso/Orson Krennic (pre-relationship, can be read as platonic), also Krennic is still a teen here so any romantic feelings are one sided

A little thing I wrote for these two during their time in the Futures Program. Tagging @russiandeathcup and @enaelyork because I think you might be interested in this :) enaelyork, my headcanons are a bit different from yours but I hope I managed to capture the essence of these two nonetheless!

I cut some corners with editing so please excuse me if it's a bit of a mess lol. Finally, all the science stuff is made up as per star wars tradition ___

Waking up was a laborious experience.

But then again, Orson Krennic surmised, he probably wasn’t doing himself any favors by falling asleep the way he did. Raising a hand to rub at eyes that were crusted shut he felt around to check for any additional presences in bed with him and immediately there was a groan to his right while someone else wriggled in dismay. Orson grinned.

It seemed like he wasn’t the only one who had passed out before he could summon the good sense to get back to his room.

With some of his good cheer restored he flexed his neck and cracked open an eye to survey some of his previous night's partymates sprawled over each other on the single bed, all in various states of disarray.

The room itself was a similar mess and reeked of alcohol but that was a given since it was the kind of night he barely remembered anything of. And as much as he wanted to sleep the rest of his hangover off (not as bad as last time, he was getting better at this), there was a steady stream of sunlight coming through the window and, well, Orson Krennic had better things to do with his day.

Like making sure there was another pleasant end to it, like last night's.

So he ran a hand through his hair, said a quick prayer of thanks for the lack of any vomit in sight and began the long process of extricating himself from the bed, whispering a quick apology to the girl lying half on top of him as she groaned again.

Some patting down fixed the worst of his uniform and after fishing around for a bit, he managed to find his jacket and tug it out from under one of the senior years before slipping his boots on.

He made a point of tucking his pant legs inside – a personal if unusual style choice but he wouldn’t be caught dead wearing those ugly uniforms without a few tweaks – and before long he was off, striding out into the bright sunlight of Brentaal.

The building he’d somehow found himself in last night turned out to be unfamiliar but a quick jog to the nearest busy walkway had him back on track. Half a year of gallivanting to his heart’s content had ensured he knew most of the grounds like the back of his hand.

And it certainly had its perks.

From his new starting point, he was able to weave his way between dorm buildings, labs and lecture halls until he was at his own dorm complex, bright and gleaming right at the very heart of campus. Normally these buildings were reserved for the cream of the academic crop but in reality most of the people here were simply well connected, much like Orson who had his own wonderful uncle to thank for his placement.

Money, as it turned out, opened a lot more doors than test results. But Orson wasn’t so big of a fool as to underestimate the opportunities the Futures Program offered all by itself.

There was a queue for the turbolifts inside and he bypassed them to get to the stairs. Another trick he’d learned in his time here as this particular stairway connected to the professors’ living wing and he shot one of his instructors a grin on the way up, getting an eye roll and the faintest of smiles in response. A few more weeks, give or take, and he would have them all charmed, he was sure of it.

Level six was buzzing with activity which wasn’t all too unusual despite it being the middle of the day, with classes having long started. At first glance, the Program took itself more than a little seriously but in reality the people that ran the whole thing were well aware that they were as much a university as a daycare center for the kids of the various bourgeoisie that sponsored them. That, combined with the fact that its occasional sundry geniuses were better off left to their own devices, made for a pretty lively atmosphere, especially at this time of day and Orson couldn’t really complain about it.

On the contrary, the whole thing was suffused with a level of charm he couldn’t deny. Not least of all as a fifteen-year-old hungry for novelty and socialization.

Currently though his mind was set on a shower and some breakfast, maybe with a side of painkillers, and he was well on his way to getting them when he had to pause and do a double take.

He stood there for a couple of seconds staring at the open hatch.

This was Galen’s room, his mind supplied vaguely while the currents of hallway traffic flowed around him. So why was the door open?

Cautiously, Orson looked around before taking a few steps forward. The noise from outside became muffled as he entered the small corridor with adjacent fresher that led into the room itself.

Had someone broken in while Galen was away? Though not many did, his friend was definitely the type to get harassed and Orson wondered if this wasn’t some elaborate prank meant to do just that.

His next thought was that Galen, in his typical distracted fashion, had forgotten to close the door behind him when he’d gone out that morning though Orson had to admit that was a bit much, even for Galen.

Reality as it turned out was unfortunately not too far from that.

Orson felt his body slump in both amusement and relief when he finally rounded the corner, glancing deeper into the room.

As lo and behold there was Galen himself, pacing in front of the bed under the far window where a shrine of notes and a few screens lay scattered in artful disarray. His friend’s face was contorted in its usual pensive grimace as he wrestled with the numbers on some piece of flimsi, mouth moving silently as though struggling to follow the flow of his own thoughts.

It was such a profound display, Orson almost felt bad for interrupting it.

“Hey,” He leaned against the wall casually as Galen’s eyes snapped up to him. He seemed confused for a moment before finally realizing who was standing there in the middle of the room with him.

“Orson.” Galen frowned, distracted. “Did you need anything?”

“You tell me, you invited me here.”

This seemed to confuse Galen even more.

“No, I didn’t.”

“You did.”

Orson jabbed a thumb in the direction of the doorway.

“You’re inviting everyone in, in fact.”

He mentally counted the seconds while Galen’s brain switched gears and then watched the disgruntlement on his face slowly melt into sheepishness.

“Ah, I must have forgotten to close it when I…right.” Galen mumbled and it took all of Orson’s willpower not to grin. He could envision it now, Galen in a rush to get to the nearest available datapad, practically vibrating with the urge to hunker down and tackle the onslaught of thoughts that were spiraling towards critical mass.

“They should put sensors on these things,” Orson heard him mutter as he threw aside the piece of flimsi, heading for the door.

If only the world were designed for scatterbrains like you, is what he thought to himself privately, suppressing another grin. A hand on Galen’s chest stopped him from getting any further.

“It’s okay, I’ll take care of it.” Orson nodded with a wink and sure enough, by the time he was back from that impressively short trip, Galen was already hunched over on his bed, staring a hole through his notes and twisting some poor tortured pen in his fingers as he muttered to himself.

Orson made himself comfortable at the other end and leaned back against the headboard as he watched his friend work. For how unusual it was, it was hardly the first time they found themselves in this position. With Galen chipping away at the mysteries of the universe while Orson sat quietly to the side, immersing himself in the peaceful atmosphere of it all and letting his mind drift.

It had become a sort of therapy for him, embarrassingly enough. And it didn’t help that Galen didn’t seem to mind in the slightest, going so far as to make room for him on whatever surface he’d perched himself on. Either that or he didn’t notice Orson at all and accommodated him on autopilot but Orson found that he didn’t mind either way.

This morning the ritual was particularly productive in chasing away the lingering dregs of his hangover and Orson almost found himself drifting off to sleep when he was rudely awoken by the growl of his own stomach.

“You should get something to eat,” Galen said offhandedly, in that way that implied he was on autopilot again.

Orson was just about to agree, reluctantly, when Galen spoke again, directing him to the fridge. Orson felt his brow furrow.

“You have food here?” he asked in disbelief as Galen waved a dismissive hand.

“I stock up at the end of every week.”

Somewhat caught off guard, Orson pondered that for a moment but then decided that he could envision it. Making an unwilling but necessary trip to one of the campus stores and stocking up with a precisely calculated amount of rations to get him through the week was a very Galen thing indeed. It must take some effort, after all, to be this much of a recluse.

Which raised the question…

“Well, I don’t want to eat your food if it means you’ll starve.” Orson frowned but his worries were met with the same dismissal.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

The look on Galen’s face indicated that he had already moved on from the conversation and so despite his hesitation Orson decided that he may as well make use of the offer. It was either that or scour his room for whatever instameal scraps or junk food he hadn’t managed to devour in his drunken stupors and right now that sounded decidedly unappealing.

He got up and padded to Galen’s fridge, opening it to find just what he expected. A small stack of granola bars that he quickly calculated to correspond to three meals per every remaining day of the week.

He shook his head. Galen was a good foot taller than him (the disadvantages of being a teenager and late to his last growth spurt) and this was a pathetic amount of food for him. If it weren’t for the occasional lunch Orson knew Galen’s professors sometimes dragged him out to, he may have been worried. As it was, he simply grabbed the nearest bar and went back to reclaim his spot on the bed.

At the very least, his stomach was grateful for the bland breakfast.

After eating his food as quietly as possible (Galen didn’t like noise while he concentrated), he returned to his earlier state of meditative relaxation. Until at some point he noticed Galen’s face twitch and an ever so subtle change occur in it.

Anyone else might have missed it but Orson had always been observant and part of that entailed being able to discern the differences in Galen’s seemingly passive expressions. He could tell, quite reliably by now, when Galen’s thoughts were racing behind those narrowed eyes and when they had hit a wall. And just now his train of thought had come to a screeching halt.

“Orson, can I ask you something?” Galen muttered after a while and Orson nodded lazily from his spot.

“Mhm, shoot.”

His friend then proceeded to bombard him with two increasingly complicated hypotheses that Orson did his best to follow despite failing miserably by the end. Nonetheless he paid close attention to Galen’s every word, the gestures and diagrams he drew in the air around him as he weaved complex science jargon together.

“So what do you think?” Galen asked hopefully at the end of it all, looking at Orson as though he genuinely believed he could be the solution to his problem. A rather flattering if overly optimistic thought.

Never let it be said that Orson Krennic didn’t come through in a pinch however.

“Here’s the deal,” Orson started, “I understood a fraction of the first one and nothing of the second so it must be that one.”

The explanation didn’t have the desired effect. Instead of agreeing Galen looked oddly contrite all of a sudden.

“Come now, Orson, don’t be like that…” he mumbled and Orson could practically feel the regret radiating off him. So worried that he’d somehow made Orson feel inadequate by getting carried away.

Orson shook his head mentally, allowing himself a little lopsided smirk.

For all that Galen was a plank of wood when it came to tact sometimes and for all that he outstripped most people here in terms of intelligence by light-years, being friends with him could be a surprisingly self-affirming experience. Orson doubted, for one, that anyone cared as much about his feelings and self-esteem as Galen Erso did.

But that wasn’t the point here and Orson hurried to put them back on track.

“No, I’m being serious. Think about it, I have a basic understanding of advanced chemistry and physics, about as good as the average first year around here, and if I was able to get what you were talking about then it only makes sense that someone has already thought of, tested it and proved that it doesn’t work.”

He shrugged and leaned back against the headboard. “It’s just statistical probability.”

This time his wors seemed to get through to Galen and his friend sat there contemplating it for a moment before finally accepting it for what it was.

“I suppose you’re right,” he conceded with a rare smile. “Though I’m not necessarily happy with the reasoning behind it. Thank you, Orson.”

Orson responded with a grin of his own.

“Hey, if nothing else, I’m good at pointing geniuses in the right direction. I have a nose for it.” He stopped as though actually considering it.

“You know, you should probably hire me to do it full time for you. I can see myself with a career like that.”

Galen huffed, already going back to his notes.

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

He stuck around for a while after until the urge to change into clean clothes and eat a proper meal finally won out and he left Galen to his silent scribbling.

Later that evening found him ambling down a decidedly more deserted campus with one hand nestled in his jacket pocket and the other loosely holding to the top of a flimsi bag. It was that odd transitional hour when students had already gone home from class and the more avid party goers had yet to spill out into the streets.

The majority were probably still winding down while others were stuck doing last minute work on their assignments.

Orson, being the only master of his own schedule, was on a mission instead.

He trekked the familiar route from the foyer up to the sixth level, bypassing the turbolifts even when there was no queue outside, and stopped in front of Galen’s room to knock. Moments later he heard shuffling inside which was a promising sign as Galen probably wouldn’t have heard him at all if he was in one of his trances. 

The door opened to reveal a mussed looking Galen who squinted at him in confusion.

Nevertheless, he quickly moved out of the way when Orson pushed past him to get into the room.

“I’ve got something important to show you, come on.”

The urgency in his voice must have piqued Galen’s interest because he closed the door and shuffled after him without a second thought, probably thinking it was another gadget Orson had lifted from the lab or some other scientific curiosity.

Orson took advantage of it and dropped his bag on the desk Galen had repurposed as an impromptu lab station, stepping back to let Galen open it. His friend’s face instantly drained of excitement as he revealed what was inside.

“I don’t understand,” he mumbled in confusion, staring at the plastic containers and their contents.

Orson snorted.

“Of course you don’t. This,” He pointed at the bag. “is real food. And it’s probably the first time you’re seeing any.”

He let the smirk he’d been disguising finally crawl over his face and took extra joy in the exasperation mixed with grudging embarrassment that bloomed over Galen’s.

And real food it certainly was because Orson didn’t cut any corners. He hadn’t scouted every food place in and around campus, making sure not to get too inebriated in the process, for nothing. If you wanted the best food in radius of two klicks, Orson Krennic was your guy.

Even Galen, seemingly convinced by the smell of freshly grilled vegetables and meat, didn’t complain about his antics for once and they both sat down to eat what was unmistakably better than a chalky granola bar.

In the course of wiping their respective containers clean, they talked about Galen’s research. It was rare to see Galen this animated and Orson studied the reaction as his friend rambled about dead ends and insufficient data.

“I need to do this in a lab,” Galen said, scraping the bottom of his container with his chopsticks. “The geology hall here has a databank on Darellian crystals and a physics simulator built into the display console. If I could use that along with some of the research logged into the databanks, this whole thing would go much faster.”

Orson had been quietly following along, already feeling the inklings of a plan coming together.

“You know what,” he said after a while, “you might be able to do just that.”

It was already dark by the time they ventured out into the cobbled tree-lined walkways. Precious minutes remained until the place was crowded but Galen still clamped a hand over Orson’s mouth, silencing his cackling, when he boldly announced they were once again about to witness the talents of the great Orson Krennic. Orson considered it a personal achievement that he could get stuffy Galen Erso to follow along in his antics.

If he were to give himself even more credit, he would even say that was a smile playing on Galen’s lips.

Convincing the hall’s security guard to let them in was much easier in comparison. Especially when Orson was notorious for wheedling extra lab time for his projects from their professors. Inside, he took a seat on one of the front row benches and once again found himself in that same meditative state as before as Galen flicked between the holoboard and simulation projector, occasionally flipping through an ancient-looking flimsi booklet and scribbling unintelligible notes on the board.

In the meantime, Orson asked himself when he had become so fascinated with Galen. And the answer, frankly, was almost immediately after he’d first seen him.

It’d been during a joined physics class, with freshmen and senior years from all over the Program, when the professor had called on Orson to give an answer to one of the problems. Ever the performer, Orson had detached one of the microscopes’ digital magnifiers and climbed onto the table to spy the answer on the professor’s datapad much to the whole hall’s amusement.

After the excitement had died down the professor had turned to Galen, drawing Orson’s attention for the first time to the tall quiet student at the back of the hall. Galen had given a quick detailed response without even looking up from his datapad and though his odd demeanor hadn’t garnered nearly as much attention, Orson had felt a brief pinch of annoyance at what he perceived as having his spotlight stolen.

That feeling had quickly given way to curiosity however as he kept shooting discreet glances at Galen for the rest of the class. The rest was just a matter of approaching him after the lecture and slowly worming his way into Galen’s awareness until the latter had been forced to admit defeat and relinquish some of his self-imposed solitude.

Orson was nothing if not persistent and Galen – too polite to nip his growing advances in the bud. And given enough time, Orson could make himself agreeable to anyone as he’d been able to prove with Galen.

Which led them to the present moment, with Galen so inured to his presence and casual favors that he allowed him to loiter nearby while he worked – Galen, who valued his personal space more than anything – and regularly updated him on his progress.

It was strange if you thought about it too much. Orson himself couldn’t explain what drew him to Galen in the first place. He’d always thought it was the ostentatious types for him, the loud and exuberant, the ones he could compete with for attention and follow into mischief and glory. Yet there they were, as balanced a duo as you could get.

“This doesn’t make any sense,” Galen murmured as if reading his thoughts and Orson watched him get down from the podium to flip a few more pages on his booklet. He scribbled a few more notes on his datapad and pursed his lips in thought.

“Orson could you do these calculations for me, I need this to go faster.”

That brought Orson’s reverie to a stumbling halt and he blinked at Galen, almost panicked.

“Me?” he asked in disbelief. “Doing your calculations? Don’t be ridiculous, Galen, you should just input them into a computer.”

Galen glared at him from his spot at the lecturer’s desk. “That would take too much time. Besides, it’s just some Tivix equations, I know you can handle that.”

Orson was about to protest but Galen was already walking back to the holoboard and opening another window to scribble on.

“I don’t know who convinced you you’re stupid Orson,” he said, his back still turned to him, “but you’re not. You should know better than that.”

The rudimentary protest died on Orson’s tongue and he felt his throat constrict as the meaning of Galen’s words registered in his mind. Finding himself utterly speechless, he averted his eyes to the table in front of him, unable to help it.

Not ‘stupid’, his mind corrected mechanically, but rather not smart enough.

For a horrifying moment, he had the suspicion that Galen had seen right through him there and then. All those times he had avoided doing things the right way, finding roundabout methods and tricks to get the result he wanted rather than tackling the problem head on. Did Galen know what lay beneath it? The crippling fear of inadequacy that Orson fought so hard to suppress?

The lengths he went to to avoid finding out just how incapable he really was?

Did Galen know about all of it?

Orson swallowed heavily, trying to bring his thoughts back under control.

Then tentatively, he got up and walked over to the datapad Galen had left to display a few rows of glowing numbers and barely legible notes.

He’d never thought he would graduate the program. Just like many of the students here, he had never entered it with the intention of getting all the way through. He was just like the people he partied with, careless and enjoying the brief stint of freedom their parents had bought for them to get them out of their hair or add some vague prestigious credentials to their name. Everyone knew the program was filled with people like that.

Orson himself had yearned for the chance to escape his guardians’ supervision, obsessed with the notion of complete independence and the chance of making new contacts. His doting uncle and aunt had been indulgent in allowing him that but nobody had actually ever believed anything would come out of it.

Orson was flighty. Frivolous. Given to indulgence. Things he had long come to terms with and didn’t feel too strongly about to change. He was quick-witted and perceptive, sure, and he had the head to make decent progress in his studies but his future was in politics and public services much like his uncle’s. It was a step down from what he’d always wanted but after some deliberation he had agreed there was ample opportunity there.

Now though, slowly going through Galen’s equations to the sound of his friend’s muttering, he wondered if there wasn’t still a chance for him. That maybe, if someone like Galen saw potential in him, there was a point in at least trying…

Galen wasn’t necessarily a good judge of character but he was surprisingly good at telling what was worth his time and what wasn’t. And if he had tolerated Orson so far, not to mention involving him in his research, then if not his own judgement, perhaps Orson could trust Galen’s. After all it was only fair given how often Galen had taken a leap of faith for him.

Galen was, at the end of the day, an exceptional man. Orson could tell better than anyone. If Galen’s instincts were attuned to the invisible currents of numbers and data, Orson had the same aptitude for telling where the seeds of greatness lied.

That greatness was sure to germinate in Galen and who knows, swept along in its tide maybe Orson could reach new heights as well. Ones that he had never dared hope for before.

Tentatively taking hold of that thought, he let his fingers glide more confidently over the surface of the screen.

Yes, there was merit in giving this a go, he decided privately. And even if he did fail, Orson thought taking one long look at the sure line of Galen’s profile against the glow of the holoboard, at least he would have basked in Galen’s light for a little bit longer.

And he couldn’t find himself objecting to that.

[shelli-gator]

what ttte ships do you have besides 2x5, if any?💙❤️

I do I do! 🥺❤️ thank you for asking anon! It makes my day!

🖤💚 I loooove Donald and Duck. I love their playful back and forth, and I think for all his teasing, Donald is quite enamored with Duck's fussiness and practicality. It makes him an easy target for his teasing, but really it comes from him being in love and dumb about it. Duck is also the only one who can reign in Donald's temper, and get the two brothers to stop arguing. Mostly because Donald won't listen to anyone else.

My partner and I have a human au and in it Duck is the manager of a quaint little general store (the kind that sells organic and fancy stuff, some luxury goods and fresh produce marked up really high, that sort of thing), and next door is a hardware store manned by Donald and Douglas. They share a breakroom. Donald's favorite pass time is taking drinks and snacks from the general store without asking, and playing with rubber ducks and putting them around the store for Duck to find. Sometimes Duck will hear incessant quaking coming from the break room, and he'll charge in to yell at him only to stop short because Donald is smiling HUGE at him, turning to his brother to be like "See I tol' yoo Douggie I speak 'is language! That's 'is matin' call, that is." And Duck's shoots back with a "YOU OWE ME M O N E Y!" Don't worry. Duck will just go take it from the cash register in the hardware store later. With a little note detailing all the things he knows he took.

(You know Donald would call him is quackeroo)

For all his teasing, Donald really loves him, and that scares him. Duck aspires to what he believes to be bigger and better things with his life, dreams he won't stop chasing. And that makes Donald scared he'll leave him behind. What's wrong with what they have now? Some would argue it's pretty good...

💚💙 This leads into my next ship, but it's really just an unrequited, quite surface-level thing; Duck and Edward. I won't say too much since it's in my fic, but Duck rather likes his old friend. And it makes him and James scowl at each other all the more. But of course, it's not to be. Edward cares for him, but not in the way Duck might want (or at least, THINKS he wants, or really DOESN'T). It's all very confusing when you don't even believe engines should or CAN love and what purpose does love have when you're MADE to work. There's the right way of doing things, and the wrong way...

💙💚 Another ship I dabble in is Gordon and Henry, though I'm not as mentally ill about them as I am with James and Edward. I like the complexity that comes with Henry having been designed as a bootleg Gresly to start, only to be totally overhauled, and WOW that must have been well and truly fucked. You would think there would be some mockery or resentment there, but Gordon doesn't hold it to him. Deep down, I think he had compassion for him that he couldn't really express because he's so fucking emotionally stunted and you gotta keep up appearances. And we see that compassion in It's Good to Be Gordon. He felt so awful to have made Henry feel worse that nothing else mattered.

I've been reading A New Way of Life, and I adore how the author characterizes their relationship. Being there for an anxious, panicky partner doesn't always have to be gentle and saccharine. Gordon grounds Henry in a way only HE can, not through words and coddling, but with a big, firm hand to squeeze and hold him. And that tells Henry he isn't alone. That he's got him. It pulls him back, and I really like that for them. Gordon is an anchor, and Henry needs a pretty big anchor.

So yeah, I like that for them! And I'm just as susceptible to big men being dumb and in love and finding solace where they might not find it anywhere else because big men have big problems or whatever.

💚🩵 this next ship is like, I mean, okay. It comes with a disclaimer. I really like Thomas and Percy, but NOT in the traditional romantic sense. I mean there's really not much romantic to me about it, but that's also why I think it's as sweet and funny as it is. They're best friends that trip each other up and fight over the Xbox, and they really wouldn't want to be with anyone else. Thomas can't even think of girls (who terrify him anyway) because he just wants to go hang out with Percy. I guess I see it as kind of crack ship, and that's why I love it. As humans they would hold hands and get so red and spooked over it that they never really do anything else WHEEZE. And as engines well, they spend all their time together, that's enough for them.

Most of what I like about them is in our human au, and it's insane. They're the worst. Percy waking up Thomas in the middle of the night because he doesn't sleep and he's looking for his vape. "Where's my vape Thomas, have you seen it, come on I think you're lying on it roll over. Sorry! Thomas. Thomas where's your vape can I use your vape what flavour is it. Thomas-" (my partner is so fucking smart and funny for this)

I'm sure I'll come up with more as I go along. Like I really want to find someone for Emily, I like her as a headstrong Scot so very impatient and so very very right about everything bossing people around WHEEZE. She's the worst ❤️🥺🤩 but also really kind, and the only one practical enough to actually go talk to Toby when everyone was very happy to just believe he was being scrapped (even Edward which is SO funny and cute to me it kills me). I think she'd make someone very happy. I'm open to suggestions! Very susceptible to good marketing if you know what I mean 😏

(I see Caitlin back there hmmm I've heard good things 👀❤🧡🩶🩷💜 🤔👭)

I still need to watch Emily in the middle but I also think it would be so funny Donald and Douglas vying for her attention when it's really only Douglas that fancies her and Donald is just fucking stupid and getting in the way because he can and Douglas wants to throw him off the rails in frustration because why can't he just have this WHEEZE.

Anyway thanks for reading sorry it's long!

[curls-and-crosses]

Ooku: The Inner Chambers

Watched this anime on Netflix within 24hrs and I have so many mixed feelings. Lemme just say them and if you’re willing to listen, well read….great! (Possible spoilers??)

FIRST, I hateddddddd this show for the fact how it got me so invested. I know that makes no sense but it honestly was so heart-tugging and also thought provoking as a viewer. (I actually found myself sneaking to watch an episode at work…ahem- ANYWAYS). The way this anime series was written and portrayed was utterly amazing. Honestly when I feel like I’ve been to a funeral at the end of a series that means it was a great show and that is due to a plethora of creativity, writing and consideration of important themes.

SECOND, Yoshimune???? My girl- excuse me, liege came in with a mission and I loved every minute of it! And it was literally minutes because we didn’t see much of her….I was quite upset about that. I actually believe I overall like her more than Iemitsu/Chie….*shrugs* not that I did not enjoy Chie and her development throughout the series but in general, Yoshimune brightened up the series in a way we didn’t really see after we truly delved into Ooku history (which was like episode 3-10).

THIRD, the complex history of the Ooku….was a whirlwind of emotions, politics, and culture/tradition for sure. But the history did show a bit of realism even in the face of an alternative history of what-could-have-been. As a viewer, certain questions came in my head like…“what if no one challenged tradition in the face of desperation to survive?” to “what if Arikoto and Iemitsu/Chie could have just had that one hope among them as a couple in that bedchamber become a reality…?” How much would any of that changed the way things played out? It makes you consider how truly people’s actions and responses have brought good and bad consequences to our world today…not just Edo in the series.

(I think this is the last point…..?)

FOURTH, Arikoto and Chie honestly did what they felt was right for others which is selfless in ways that are absolutely admirable…but also, there’s things I absolutely wish they would have done differently. Watching the screen and happy for them one minute and on the verge of tears the next is a feat not every writer can do. Outside looking in….you, as a viewer, can see cracks in their logic…but then, it makes you have sympathy and maybe even empathy for their choices driven by the sake of their beliefs and those who greatly influenced them. It’s such a touching, romantic, but incredibly SAD story between them but one thing was always clear is that they were deeply in love with each other until the end. ❤️

[yico0]

Love Alarm

"Love Alarm" uses the love alarm app, a piece of advanced technology, to signify otherness in human identity, particularly in love and relationships. The app creates a world where a person's desirability is quantified and broadcasted for others to see. This can be seen as a commentary on how technology can impact and commodify human relationships, touching upon themes related to class, popularity, and social hierarchy. It also explores the emotional distance that technology can create in human connections.

Humanist Practices: enhancing Human Connection and the emphasis on Human Emotions. The love alarm app is introduced as a tool to help people find love and emotional connection. It aims to enhance the human experience by allowing individuals to easily identify potential romantic partners. Post-Humanist Practices: blurring boundaries, dependency on technology, and people's exploration of identity. While the series primarily focuses on human emotions and relationships, it does introduce the idea that technology can blur the boundaries between the digital and physical worlds. The love alarm app creates a new layer of reality in which people's feelings are quantified and publicly displayed. It also depicts a society increasingly dependent on technology for matters of the heart. It suggests a shift in the way humans engage in romantic relationships, relying on algorithms and digital interfaces.

While "Love Alarm" doesn't explicitly involve aliens or monsters, it does depict the Love Alarm app as something that can feel alien and monstrous in its ability to disrupt traditional human relationships. The intrusive nature of the app, which broadcasts one's feelings to the world, can be seen as a form of emotional invasion, creating a sense of alienation and monstrosity in the characters' lives.

“Love Alarm" doesn't directly address geopolitical concerns in the traditional sense. Still, it touches on broader societal issues related to technology and social dynamics that can be interpreted as indirect commentary on contemporary problems. For example, the app "Love Alarm" raises questions about privacy and surveillance as the app collects and broadcasts users' emotional data. This theme resonates with contemporary debates on data privacy, surveillance, and the ethics of technology companies collecting and using personal information.

The central premise of the love alarm app serves as a reflection on the complexity of human emotions. It raises questions about whether love can be reduced to a numerical value and whether technology can accurately capture the nuances of human emotional experiences.

Questions:

In the context of the love alarm app's impact on social inequality and self-esteem, how does the series comment on the intersectionality of identities, such as gender, class, and physical appearance? How do they relate to broader discussions of identity in contemporary society?

"Love Alarm" introduces a world where emotions are quantified and exposed for public scrutiny. Can you draw connections between the show's exploration of this theme and real-world examples or ethical frameworks?

How does the love alarm app in "Love Alarm" impact the characters' everyday lives and decisions, and how does this reflect the influence of technology on modern relationships and societal norms?