#but most requests are gonna be ‘whatever i feel most motivated on’

[emry-stars-art]

Im a little late but I think I wanna try something

This post by @kedreeva is a fun WIP Wednesday Game! I’ll paraphrase the rules here:

Post up to five file names of your wips (not titles, file names)

Post a snippet from one of them, something you’ve written in the past seven days

After you’ve posted, people can send an ask with one of your file names, and you must write three sentences in that file.

Since I don’t have five separate wips I thought I’d try posting five scenes im writing/want to write of the royal au 👑 help me decide what to work onnnnn

My scenes are:

another horse ride

first day

responsibility II

Andrew freshening up

bath

Some of these you can assume what’s happening by the names so 👀 hooray for descriptive titling

And a snippet from ‘responsibility II’:

Day came out of a side door. More of an everything room adjacent to the infirmary, used for temporary housing and storage and countless other things Andrew had no knowledge of. Day looked about to stalk down the hall, but stopped in the doorway upon seeing Andrew.

“Your Highness,” he said, and it was that same tone that he always had on when dealing with Abram. Annoyed and worried at the same time. Andrew knew first hand that Day never used it with Abram; it was only the concern leaking through when he talked to anyone else. “What have you gone and done with Abram’s hair?”

“…What about it?”

“He won’t let the dresser touch it. He won’t let me touch it, and he keeps talking about you. That it shouldn’t be his decision to cut it. Care to explain?”

If you want to participate, please go check out the original post to get the full read on it! Happy writing 🥰

[i-yap]

Jason todd x reader - clingy thoughts

(guys i have no motivation to start writing most days so like whenever I get comments or requests in my inbox I get rlly excited and actually feel like writing)

if jason could, he would melt his skin so it could stick to yours . He is so touch starved but more than that he is just ...starved. like he hasn't ever had anything properly good in his life. and then you're just there and he doesn't think something better could exist

he wants to look at you, he stares a lot. even when he is cuddling you, he's looking at your hands, your hair, whatever he can see in the position

he likes casual intimacy more than fancy intimacy. like linking pinkies when walking, resting your head on his shoulder on the bus, your legs being pressed against each other when you're sitting on a rooftop. something you'd do without thinking but he is constantly thinking about it.

he isn't the lift and spin sort of guy ( like after a mission or something) he is a holds you and falls to the ground from the pain of being separated from you for too long. he is the don't to dare pull away, tears in his eyes, body shaking sort of guy.

he hates being away from you, even across the table is too far. wants to sit next to you or hold your hand if you're sitting across. make sure the table isn't too big. the distance hurts him, its like he has an internal radar that if you cross , his head goes red .

give him any sign that you are just as clingy or even that you don't hate his guts and he will just freeze. he doesn't know how to reciprocate touch, feelings, words, everything but he really really wants to. so just because he stiffens up when you hug him doesn't mean he is gonna let you leave the hug .

his sweetest words come out at like 4am , when you're in the bathtub, sitting on a roof, eating snacks on the floor of your room or lying in bed . you cant be facing him cause he will forget whaT he wanted to say once he sees your face. he is super tired from crime fighting or after s'x or after a nightmare. don't make a big deal out of it cause he wont take it well and will get embarrassed.

he is just so protective, you rlly cant blame him.

[mrsimpurity]

Perhaps some sfw and nsfw alphabet headcanon for Wolverine?

hi anon! ty for the request

nsfw alphabet with logan

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

king of aftercare!! prepare yourself for snuggles. logan  smothers you in kisses, carries you to the bathroom and sets you down in the bathtub himself (he’ll join you if he’s up for another round ;) )

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he loves everything about you, but he’s undoubtedly a thighs man. and not only when it comes to your thighs of course, because he likes to remind you of that one time you were so desperate, you got off on his thigh..

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

no questions asked, logan’s gonna cum inside you (with consent ofc). he’ll spread your legs and push it back inside as it drips out, letting you lick up the remnants of his release on his fingers.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

sometimes, logan waits for you to get out of the bathroom so he can take a shower, because he sees that you’re tired and he’s not too sure he can contain himself if you’re both in there.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

let’s be honest, logan’s over 200 years old, he’s more than experienced. but you don’t mind that. he’s yours and he’s made it clear, so his experience can only benefit you.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

logan loves fucking you in missionary. sure, you riding him is more than nice, but there’s no better feeling than being able to tower over your body as he makes love to you. it makes him feel like a protector, and in return makes you feel safe, especially because you both enjoy the eye contact.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he’s not really the most serious guy during sex, he’ll definitely let out a chuckle or two, especially when you won’t stop squirming and moaning at his teasing.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

logan is definitely hairy, but the two of you have no problem with that. he’s well groomed down there despite of his hairy chest (you like to tease him about it, but it’s definitely a fav of yours).

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

oh logan doesn’t fuck, he makes LOOOVE. this is one of the most important factors in his relationship with you. he notices if something’s off and communication is key, so sex is definitely the best way for him to apologize, blow off some steam or just show you how much he loves you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he doesn’t do it very often. likes “saving himself for you”. also, he finds it pointless. he’s not a teenager, so if you’re not in the mood or just not feeling okay, masturbating or sex in general is the last thing on his mind.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

breeding kink for suuure. just the thought of you filled with his warm cum, or perhaps with a swollen belly, carrying the result of the love between you guys.. he keeps it to himself but you’re pretty much aware of it by now, with all the times he’s come inside you.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

besides the bedroom, of course, logan loves taking you on the kitchen counter. sometimes it’s solely for your pleasure, but the thought of you splayed out for him on the kitchen island in just your bra definitely gets him worked up.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

this one is a no brainer - he loves it when you’re not wearing a bra. this happens only when the two of you are home alone, but it always ends up in the bedroom, especially when you’re wearing that satin cami top of yours, tits spilling out of the flimsy piece of clothing.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

he doesn’t have any hard nos, he’s comfortable with whatever you’re comfortable with, but he’s a little too afraid to try breath play (he’s scared he’s gonna hurt you, the 6’2 hound of a man he is).

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

logan is definitely skilled, his tongue has you needing to be kept down with the palm of his hand on your stomach. he loves watching you squirm and moan as he sucks on your swollen nub.

he doesn’t need you returning the favor, or at least he’d never actually voice it, though the sight of you on your knees, bobbing your head along the length of his cock is definitely engraved in his mind.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

it depends on the situation, but logan’s never actually rough with you, hence why he’s a little too hesitant to slap and push you around, even after you stated multiple times that you were alright with it. that’s just the way he is.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

logan’s not a huge fan of quickies; except for when you’re heading out with a tiny skirt.. trust, he’ll pull it up, come inside of you and fix you up, putting your shoes on and delivering a gentle slap to your ass as you walk out the door. “come on, bub, you don’t wanna be late, do you?”

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he has no problem experimenting. in fact, he himself suggested that he tie your hands during sex one night and you were appreciative of the idea so that definitely helped the both of you relax a bit.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

your pleasure is of utmost importance to him. he’ll make you come on his fingers or tongue at least once before he even thinks about taking his cock out of his pants. he’d never overwork you though, so your limits are his limits as well.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he doesn’t use toys, he finds them pointless. “what, my fingers ain’t enough, bub?”

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

logan is a teaseee, i’m telling you. one time, he made you finger yourself while he watched. “come on, doll, you can do better than that. put a second finger inside.”

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

logan definitely lets out a few occasional grunts and curses when he’s deep inside of you. “fuck, you feel so good, baby.”

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

he loves it when you cockwarm him. sometimes it’s just the two of you snuggling on the couch, covered by a mere blanket, but the closeness of the act has his mind going hazy.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

his abs are to die for. whenever the two of you are making out, you put your hands there to steady yourself and to feel him. logan loves the way his body has you going crazy.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

i’d say it’s pretty high. most of the time you’re the one to initiate stuff though. logan likes to tease you about it and he lets it be that way not only because he likes seeing you embarrassed, but because he wouldn’t want to push anything on you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he never falls asleep before you!! one time, you were convinced logan sang you to sleep, but he denied it the next morning. to this day, you still remember him humming some lullaby while tracing soft circles on your back.

[moonstruckme]

if you're okay with smut requests at the moment, giggly sex with james? like they're both just so happy to be with each other that they can barely kiss between their moans AND laughter

Thanks for requesting!

cw: smut, mdni

James Potter x fem!reader ♡ 930 words

James is upon you the second you get through the door, and between the two of you, you’ve got most of your clothes off not a minute after. 

“Missed you,” he professes, words all smushed up against your mouth as you knock into his glasses with the bridge of your nose. “M’never letting you leave again.” 

“Yeah? What’re you gonna do, tie me to the bed?” You feel a bit like being a tease, but then his hands grip your ass, heaving you up against him, and any thoughts of restraint fall away as a moan escapes you. “Wow,” you say at the hard bulge that’s now slotted conveniently between your legs. “You did miss me.”

James snickers and walks you towards the bed, kissing you harder when you grind against him, desperate for the remaining layer of your underwear to be out of your way. “You’re full of bad jokes today.” His lips are curved against yours as he sets you on the mattress, your legs spreading for him automatically. You lean back, and he bends to follow you. “Why don’t you leave comedy for the comedians, sweetheart.” 

“Oh, fuck you,” you laugh, arching up into his kiss. A big hand snakes in between your back and the bed, and a second later the clasp of your bra comes undone. “Fuck, you’re so fucking good at that.” You’d say you’d almost forgotten how skilled your boyfriend is at undressing you, but you haven’t. 

“Lots of practice.” James waggles his thick, deceptively deft, fingers in front of your face before sliding them down to their preferred spot at your waistline. Your preferred spot too. You sigh blissfully as his big palm drags up and down your side, thumb just barely skimming the skin beneath your breast. “Plus motivation.” He grins, dotting a kiss on the corner of your lips. “I’ve been waiting for this all week.” 

“You’ve been waiting all week for this?” Your eyes nearly roll back in your head when he moves his hips on top of yours, your giggle tinged with delirium. “No ‘how was home, babe?’ ‘how’s your family doing?’” Your goading is interrupted by a small whimper as James’ hand slips beneath the band of your underwear, palming your already slick cunt. “My mom’s doing well, thanks for asking.” 

He slides the moisture up to your clit, tracing tiny circles around the bead that have you fisting your hands in the covers and taking tiny, gasping breaths. “I’d rather not talk about your mum right this moment, if that’s alright with you.” 

Laughter erupts from you, catching in James’ chest too until you’re both dizzy with it. “Guess you’re right,” you admit, letting go of the sheets to tangle both hands in his hair. You pull him closer. “I missed you too,” you tell him between kisses, your teeth clacking together. He tastes all that much sweeter for it. “Missed you so much, Jamie. For more than just this, if that wasn’t clear.” 

“I know.” He nips lovingly at your jaw, stinging with his teeth before soothing with his tongue. “Whatever crimes you try to pin on me, I missed you for more too,” he says, and then his deliciously thick fingers slip inside you. “You did miss me for this too, though, didn’t you angel?” 

“Fuck.” You bite his lip as he works those blessed fingers into you, middle and marriage testing the waters before beginning to scissor gently. James laughs at your reaction, and you both flinch back when his teeth clank against yours. 

“Sorry,” he says, shoulders shaking as he cups the back of your head. “I’m sorry, baby.” 

“Fucking just—ahh—just chip my tooth while you’re at it.” You’re bordering on nonsensical and part of you knows it, your stomach nearly cramping as you laugh through the building pressure in your core. 

James curls his fingers inside you, and if you had enough working brain cells left, you’d wonder how he does it through the giggle fit that’s seized him. “Hey, you started it.” There’s not a lick of malice in his tone as he presses sloppy kisses to your cheek, still laughing. “Nearly bit my lip off.”

“I knew—you could take it,” you pant.  

“Oh yeah?” James’ fingers slip out of you, and you look down as he works your underwear down your legs. They’re sopping wet. “Wanna talk about what you can take, angel?”

“Now who’s the one with the bad jokes,” you mutter, and his laughter is booming even as he slips his hands under your ass, angling himself into you. 

He pushes inside you and bends over you instantly, pecking insistently at your lips. “You,” he snarls playfully, emphatic (and, you think, happy beyond belief if his hard dick and giant smile are decent enough indicators). “You’re impossible, you know that?” 

“I think—” you gasp as he shifts inside you. “You know what? Shut up.” 

James’ guffaw is ecstatic, but he actually complies, kissing you from chin to temple as he pushes slowly in and out of you. You laugh giddily as you mouth underneath his jaw in return, your hands sliding over the broad expanse of his shoulders while his work diligently at your breasts in that incredible way he knows how. 

Your giggling subsides until you’re just breathing together, your kisses turning more languid, and you’ve almost gotten your shit together, almost found your rhythm, when James’ thumb brushes over your nipple and a breathy fuck slips past your lips. 

“Well, I’m trying to, if you’d stop interrupting.” 

And you both crack up all over again. 

[cringe-but-proud]

Hi! You must’ve JUST posted while I was searching a tag! WELCOME to the crowd of other amateur writers who have no idea what we’re doing!

I have a request for a short fanfic/drabble! Wonka 2023 where fem!reader is a storyteller who worked in the laundry room when Willy arrives. Reader is closer with Noodle and usually tells her bedtime stories before going to sleep, and Willy comes to admire the vast imagination in the stories while falling in love, to Noodle’s joy. I haven’t had the motivation to write in a long time, so I hope you’d be up to trying to get the story out of my head!

Hi! Thanks sm for the request. Hope I could do your idea justice lol

Willy Wonka x Storyteller!Fem!Reader (Wonka 2023)

Warnings: None, I think. Sort of just a cute fluffy one.

Three years ago, you made the worst and most unforgivable mistake of your life: Taking a shower at Ms. Scrubbit's hotel.

To make a fairly short story shorter, you neglected to read the small print, leading to you being in a massive debt to her. So, for the next 5 years of your life, you'd be forced to work in a dirty, old laundry room.

You were absolutely miserable at first. Your days dragged by and your nights were mostly spent curled up in your bed crying. But, once you accepted your situation, you found a way to make the days go by faster: Making up stories in your head while you worked.

You'd always had quite the creative mind; so, weaving tales of magic and wonder was a fun way to spend your time.

Plus, Noodle always liked to hear your stories before she went to sleep.

But, recently you'd earned another fan of your stories.

Willy was the newest person who was unfortunate enough to end up down here. And lately he'd started sitting at the desk in Noodle's room every night, tinkering with new chocolate recipes or practicing his reading and writing skills, while you told Noodle a bedtime story.

But, according to noodle, he was actually in there just to listen to you. Supposedly, the moment you left, he'd turn to noodle and the two would discuss whatever story you'd told that night.

If that was true, you were honored.

One night, Noodle and Willy snuck out of the laundry room to do who knows what. And a couple hours later, Noodle returned without Willy. She told you all about the adventure they had which apparently included milking a giraffe, flamingos, and a run in with the police.

Her recount of the night was entertaining, and you were glad she's had fun. But, you couldn't help but feel a bit worried for Willy. "So, what's gonna happen to Willy?" You asked. "Is he getting arrested?"

Noodle shook her head. "He told me he'd talk his way out of it." She said as she got into bed. She tilted her head at you. "Do you like him?"

"What?" You flushed.

"Like, do you wanna be his girlfriend?"

"I-" You were about to say no, but that wasn't entirely true. You admired him. He had a brilliant mind, and he was unbelievably handsome. "Okay, how about I tell you a story?"

"So, you do wanna be his girlfriend."

"Story is beginning now."

Later in the night, you were in your own room, about to settle in for bed when someone knocked at your door.

You furrowed your brows in confusion, getting up to open the door for whoever it was.

"Hey." Willy greeted. "Sorry if I woke you up." His hair looked wet which was strange, but you were more concerned with why he was at your door.

"Don't worry, I wasn't asleep. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I was just wondering if... Uh, did you tell Noodle a story while I was gone?"

You nodded. "I did."

He seemed a little disheartened, which made you feel bad. "I'm sure noodle can retell you the story tomorrow." You offered, trying to lighten his mood.

"She could. But, the way you... I mean... You have a wonderful, imaginative, beautiful mind. And the way you tell your stories, it's amazing! You could read me a grocery list, and I'd be on the edge of my seat." He gushed.

You couldn't help but blush. "You think all of that?"

"Yes! How could I not?" He gave you an affectionate smile.

You returned him smile. "I mean... I could tell the story to you right now, if you want."

Willy thought about it. "It's alright. I think I can go without a story for one night." He said reassuringly.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Thanks for the offer, though."

He began to step away from your door, saying a quick goodnight before he began walking toward his room.

"Wait, Willy." He stopped and turned to you.

You walked up to him and kissed his cheek. Willy blushed. "What was that for?"

You shrugged. "To make up for the story you missed out on?" You offered.

Willy smiled and gave you a quick peck on the lips.

"What was that for?" You asked this time.

"Just cause I like you." He replied as he leaned in to kiss you again.

[s7nburn]

NSFW ALPHABET d.f

Requested by anon <3

Warnings: NSFW headcanons, smut.

Dominic fike NSFW headcanons.

Not my gif ^

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A: Aftercare, how are they like after sex?

Dominic is a loving partner during and after sex. You and him will most likely take a warm shower after, then you two would lie down with your head on his chest and legs intertwined. He loves checking up on your and making sure you're okay afterwards.

B: Body part, what's their favorite body part?

Dom LOVES your thighs. Whenever, wherever, he will touch your thighs (ofc if ur okay with it). He loves to place his hands on them, whether its a long road trip or a short drive, or you two are out on date. He loves them.

C: Cum, anything to do with cum.

He LOVES to cum inside of you. Just to feel your warm pussy pulse around him as he cums. He also loves to cum on your face, while you look up at him with your beautiful doll eyes.

D: Dirty secrets/Dirty talk, self explanatory.

I feel like he secretly likes to jerk off in public restrooms?? (Ofc washes his hands before and after).

He is such a dirty talker, and I mean SUCH a dirty talker. He'll whisper the dirtiest things that he's gonna do to you into your ear in public, then he'll take u home and do all those things. He DEFINITELY talks you through your orgasm/orgasms, saying things like "I know" and/or "it's okay, i got you, just let go".

E: Experience, how experienced are they?

He's pretty experienced. He definitely knows what he's doing. One of his best skills is pussy eating. He loves to eat your pussy any chance he gets.

F: favorite position.

He loves missionary, your legs wrapped around his back to pull him closer. He loves to look into your eyes as he pounds you senseless.

G: Goofy, how goofy are they?

He's pretty goofy, he makes jokes here and there. He'll let out giggle or two after he cums or when you squirt. (Lol)

H: Hair, are they well groomed?

He likes to keep it short, but he doesn't mind if you do or not. Whatever your comfortable with.

I: intimacy, are they intimate during sex?

Dominic loves to hold you while y'all are having sex, whether its holding your hand or holding your body close to him while your riding him.

J: Jack off (masturbation) How much do they do it?

He likes to do it, but prefers your hands instead. Whenever he's alone or on tour and horny he decides to call you. If ur not available he probably goes through the pictures and videos you send him and gets off that way.

K: Kinks, what are their kinks?

I'll just list them here.

- I feel like he has a daddy kink??

- not necessarily a kink but I feel like he loves your clit like yes please 🙌🏻

- I'm getting a sense he loves to cuff you. Just something about him being in full control.

- voyeurism?? Like he loves to watch you get off.

- light exhibitionism, like car sex in the back of a parking lot.

L: Location, where is his favorite place to have sex.

He will have sex ANYWHERE, bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, living room, car.. but his favorite is the classic bedroom.

M: Motivation, what turns them on?

Like earlier, your thighs. God he loves them so fucking much. Or you sitting on his lap.

N: No, what they won't do.

He obviously won't hurt you, if he sees blood anywhere he will stop and see if your okay.

O: Oral, do they enjoy giving or getting?

Like I stated earlier, he's such a pro at pussy eating and loves the way you whimper the second he licks at your clit. He enjoys getting head too, hearing you gag around his dick as your eyes fill with tears 😩.

P: Pace, slow or fast?

Depends on how you both feel, if he goes slow it's a very intimate, vanilla moment. If he goes fast, it's a very rough moment where your hands are probably handcuffed while he hits it from the back. 🙌🏻

Q: Quickie, how does he feel about them?

He doesn't mind them, but he enjoys spending more time with you while having sex.

R: Risk, does he take risks during sex?

Like I said he likes to have sex in the car, he gets off on the idea of someone finding out.

S: Stamina, how long can they go?

3/4 rounds on a good day, most of the times probably 2.

T: Toys, do they enjoy using toys?

Yes. He loves to use them on you or himself. Y'all probably have a (small) collection of toys, not to extreme but they still get the job done. (Vibrators, a Fleshlight etc..)

U: Unfair, how much do they tease?

He doesn't tease to much..but he likes to get you going before the sexual acts.

V: Volume, are they vocal during sex?

He is very vocal, he whimpers, moans, groans, all that jazz. He does not hold back.

W: Wild card (random headcanon)

He definitely wakes up hard. Most likely has wet dreams of you.

X: X-ray, what going on down there?

He's above average, he's thick and around 6.5 inches. (Although people think anything under 7 inches to 6 is small it isn't.)

Y: Yearning, how high is his sex drive?

I would say it's pretty normal. He loves sex, especially with you.

Z: Zzz, does he fall asleep quickly after?

Yes, you and him both. Y'all are usually tired out after. You both get cleaned up and lie down. He caresses your hair and you two talk a little before saying your 'i love yous' and 'goodnights'.

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A/N:... I don't know what to say lmfao, first time writing smut in a while, lmk what you all think. Also I saw someone say 20 rounds for stamina 😧 (for someone else) like damn..anyways love yalllll

Tag list: @taintandviolent @lilthbunny @itsznanabanana

[raythekiller]

I love the masky nsfw alphabet It riled up my imagination.. soo can i request for a hoodie one?? Thank youu

🗒꒰⸝⸝₊ NSFW ALPHABET ❛ ✧

Featuring: Hoodie/Brian

# Notes: its that time of the year again where i make 1 post and disappear for the next seven months <3 also DAYUM new post format?? (also also theres a new toby drawing on the way stay tuned)

A - AFTERCARE

Surprisingly soft. Wants to hold you close and maybe take a shower together. Don't get things twisted though - it's so he can keep feeling your body against his instead of to comfort you. Call it possessiveness or an ego stroke, maybe.

B - BODY PART

Thighs man through and through. Thigh highs drive him up-the-wall insane. Will also just absentmindedly knead them if you're sitting next to him, especially if you're wearing shorts or a skirt/dress.

C - CUM

Oh he likes it messy. Just enjoys having his cum on you in general - backshots, face, dripping from you after he came inside, you name it.

D - DIRTY SECRET

None. He has no shame and is very open about what he likes.

E - EXPERIENCE

Not as much as you might expect, given his demeanour. Don't get me wrong, it's still a lot, but he makes it seem like he worked as a pornstar for a few years with sheer cockiness.

F - FAVORITE POSITION

If you ask him, he'll say "all of them". But if you put a gun to his head and tell him to choose, he'll settle for doggy. Just loves grabbing your hips and ass while he's pounding into you.

G - GOOFY

He doesn't exactly make jokes, but his teasing might be a bit funny at times. He doesn't mind making things more silly or lighthearted as long as you still cum at the end of it.

H - HAIR

Usually clean-shaven, but he might get a bit lazy with it occasionally. Always at least well trimmed though.

I - INTIMACY

Usually adapts to what you like best. If you just want to get your brains fucked out and keep romance out of it, he'll happily do it. If you like something more tender with lots of "I love you"s, he doesn't complain about it either.

J - JACK OFF

A lot. This guy has crazy stamina (we'll talk about that later), I'd say maybe five times per week or so.

K - KINK

A lot but mainly: CORRUPTION!! I've said it before and I'll say it again he wants to bring the worst out of you. If you're a virgin, he wants go be your first. If you're not, he wants to see just how wild things can get when he pushes you a little.

L - LOCATION

Literally anywhere. He is a fan of semi-public sex, though. In the woods, living room of the manor when (you think) there's no one else home, in a busted alleyway, you name it.

M - MOTIVATION

Oh it's very easy to turn him on. Here's a huge one though: when you take iniciative. He's used to being the one starting shit. When YOU do it, though? When you make it clear you want him to wreck you? Fucking hot.

N - NO

Very short but obvious list: anything to do with piss, shit or vomit. Other than that, I think he's pretty open. Not even averse to being submissive every now and then.

O - ORAL

HELL YEAH BABY! Giving, receiving, whatever, he doesn't care. His mouth isn't just good for talking shit — he knows how to use that tongue. When he's getting head, though? He looks so pretty — head thrown back, moaning and whimpering with a grin on his face. Might buck his hips into your mouth for giggles (and because you sound hot choking on him).

P - PACE

Again, he'll go for whatever gets you off. If you like it rough and fast, he's in. If you prefer slow and sensual, that's also hot.

Q - QUICKIE

Biggest quickie fan in the manor. He just can't help himself most of the time and he doesn't really try to, either. If his horny, you best bet he knows how to get you horny as well and things just go from there.

R - RISK

Loves experimenting and finding new ways to make you moan. Doesn't mind getting a bit freakier every now and then.

S - STAMINA

Jesus christ what are they feeding this man. Y'know when guys are like "I'm gonna fuck you all night long" and stop after two rounds max? This motherfucker is serious about it.

T - TOYS

I don't think he'd go out of his way to buy them, but if you already have them you best believe he's using it to his advantage. Big fan of vibrators.

U - UNFAIR

This guy is MEAN. He doesn't make you wait for too long before fucking you but just those few minutes feel like an eternity with the atrocities he's whispering in your ear.

V - VOLUME

LOUD. He moans, groans, whines, whimpers, you name it. Not ashamed to make some noise and LOVES if you're loud as well.

W - WILD CARD

Likes having his hair pulled— WHO SAID THAT???

X - X-RAY

7.4 inches, cut. Not too thick, just the right girth.

Y - YEARNING

Can't go like, a week without having sex or at least jacking off. Homeboy has a lot of steam he needs to let out.

Z - ZZZ

Only god knows how he doesn't pass out immediately after. Chances are you'll fall asleep before him.

[that-student-that-has-homework]

Al-Haitham Headcanons 01

All SFW Here Folks! I think? There's like one bit that's kinda suggestive. If you - no you don't need to squint. It's not vulgar though. Tumblr MasterList

I think his love language is acts of service.

Al-Haitham reads a lot, if he finds something that would be useful to you, he'd likely make note of it with sources, especially if you were going to use it in a paper.

Oh you got into an argument? Someone said something you disagree with? You struggled to support your point? He found some piece of information that supports your argument? Or maybe he found something that negates the other person's? He'll bring it to you.

Perhaps you had asked a random question: you were curious or wondering about something? If he comes across useful information again, he'll bring it to you, and explain it if you need him to.

Maybe you're stressed or struggling or your body hurts in some way? He's doing research and bringing it to you.

You've got a big daunting task? He's broken it down for you, maybe even helped you delegate and even eliminate some things too

Drapes his cape over you when you're napping and cold.

Drapes his cape over you when you're cold in general.

Someone is trying to belittle you? Let it be known that Al-Haitham has no problem silencing them, and in a truly intellectual manner.

Yeah no, he has no tolerance or anyone talking trash about his beloved.

Quality Time is another love language

As we all know: Al-Haitham dislikes having a large social circle. So if he is choosing to spend time with you, outside of work (or anything else that's necessary) nonetheless, he definitely values you.

For whatever reason I feel like he's more cuddly and probably goes for hugs more?

(For anyone reading Rationality of Emotion: when you see this appear again in that fic...well I mean I was always gonna use it there...)

I imagine his physical affections are more him holding you in some way, and mostly in private, and I mean just you and him private. Initially, when Kaveh was practically watching him like a hawk to see if he could display affection, Al-Haitham is deliberately avoiding any action that Kaveh was looking for.

That being said, if you're both reading on the sofa/couch looking thing in his house, he really enjoys kinda having you nestled into him? So you've got your back against the arm rest (you have it cushioned don't worry) with your head resting on his chest and your legs across his lap. Each of you just reading and enjoying the silence.

He usually isn't wearing his sound proof earpieces when you guys are doing this.

I can also imagine him going from mostly hugging due to requests to initiating hugs himself.

Yes he has hugged you from behind before, it was a hell of a day, he's kinda overstimulated, he's got his face in your neck, and is just leaning on you a bit. Please let him rest there for a bit, even if he's kinda heavy.

As for when he does kiss you though

I think Haitham's kisses are like cute little pecks on your temples or your head, or the juncture of your neck and shoulder. I don't think they're very common either.

If it's anywhere else he's probably got ulterior motives

But that's okay because he's your husband

(yes even when it's on your pulse)

(especially when it's on your pulse)

While he is mostly private, he will absolutely state his claim if necessary

I don't think Al-Haitham is a very jealous guy

he trusts you, he understands that for the most part you know how to handle yourself (sometimes you need help when hilichurls are involved)

however he doesn't exactly trust strangers

so if someone wants to try their luck, and can't take a hint, he will absolutely be by your side, with a hand on your lower back as he excuses the two of you and guides you along

That hand of his stays there the whole way home.

if you aren't picking up on the fact that this person is trying to hit on you: I think he'd only watch for a little bit, curious if you're going to pick up on it, before appearing to help you exit (especially if you look tired)

[onmyyan]

Caspian NSFW ABC'S

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Three words, attentive, bubbly, and clingy, he needs that skin-to-skin contact immediately, no matter what, Cas checks in with you after he manages to get enough air in his lungs, gets you whatever you need faster than the request can leave your lips.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his eyes, the reason being one day you told him just how pretty you found them, Since then he can't help but see the beauty in himself, and his favorite of yours? Asking Caspian to choose a favorite body part is impossible, but, he'd always be a special kind of weak to your smile.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Need I remind you of the MASSIVE breeding kink this mf has?? Good because I will. He's happy to cum anywhere you'd let him but deep inside will always be his favorite.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Has on several occasions cum into your food, it scratches this, hidden, primal need to have some part of him with you at all times, and he deep down liked that you were none the wiser.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Caspian has had a few relationships before and it's in his nature to please, he is a munch your honor, that is to say, while he hasn't been in a lot of relationships, he's always been a pleaser and learned to read his partners quite well.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

So our boy loves to be as close to you as possible right? and there's something about having your soft thighs tightly locked around his waist in missionary, with those nails clawing into his back pressing him even further into you, yanking at his hair as if holding on for dear life, it makes his eyes roll back.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Depends on your mood really, he follows your lead. If you're giggly and playful? He matches the energy, not in the mood for games? Bet. He can read you like he has a pamphlet

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Light grooming doesn't really care much, darker shade of his red hair, although he started growing out his happy trail when he saw how you reacted to it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Very very romantic, mood lighting, and music if you're into it, Ol' house-husband over here makes it feels as meaningful and special as the first time, everytime. Worships every inch of your body, constantly praises you in the most meaningful ways.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

You'd think with how often you two screwed he'd be satiated but nah he's a fiend who jerks off to your selfies while you're away and humps your pillow.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Huge size kink, Overstimulation, Feeder Kink

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anyplace no one will see you, his blood pressure spikes at the mere idea of a mf seeing you come undone.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

BABES WHAT DOESN'T- but fr you doing something as mundane as reading a book or one of your hobbies he finds absolutely marvelous, one second he's admiring the way your skin looks in the light of the warm day, the next thing he knows he's kissing up your legs because he's so overwhelmed by his love for you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Can't degrade you, Nope. Sorry. He just can't be mean to his baby!!! It's not happening.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Certified MUNCH, If he had a beard it be red if you pick up what I'm putting down lmao. He'd rather go down on you but he's not gonna say no if you offer, just know he will get impatient and flip your positions eventually, too addicted to the taste to be patient.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He likes to take his time with you no matter what, but in terms of pacing, by the time he finally sinks inside, his mind has turned off any other function than to please, meaning if you twitch a little more when he rolls his hips slower? He's doing it. If you go all starry-eyed when he fucks into you like a jackrabbit? Then he's shaking the headboard.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

If the area is secure enough he'll do it, although he'll always prefer getting to take his time with you. His stamina is monstrous so he's ready to go when you are lmao

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He's game to experiment if that's something you need but he is also a creature of habit.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Minimum of two rounds, max four, but they last hours, he wants to soak in every moment with you so if he can he's gonna take his time.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn't use toys himself, but he does get a evil lil kick outta using yours on you, making you squirm and buck against him, type to fuck you and use your vibrator on your clit at the same time, after all, if it made you squeak like that how could he not use the tools to his full advantage?

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) He's a little bit of a tease in the build up to sex, very touchy and lots of heavy stares, the way he looks at you is impossible to ignore and always manages to light that familiar fire in your tummy, during the actual act he's far too into giving you EXACTLY what you want and need to deny you even for a few teasing moments.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) Very loud, lots of deep, choppy moans, he's whining out all his appreciations and praises, your name is all he can say sometimes, physically unable to do anything but fuck into you as deep as he could.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Secretly has this fantasy of you getting his name tatted and the image of cumming all over that permanent mark has made him cum in his boxers before.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

7.5 and thick, and between you and me his tip is dummy sensitive

This mf YEARNS, he craves you, always, constantly, he'd be happy just existing in your space but you bless him by loving him, and all he wants to do is show you how much he appreciates all you do for him, this devotion comes out in many ways but the main is fuckin till the room stank 💀🤚🏼

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It takes him a while, despite having just cum so hard he saw white for a moment, his heart pounds too hard to rest, he's giddy, buzzing in his place, arms wrapped around you like a second skin, he'll only fall asleep after he gets in a good hour of watching you sleep ofc.

[alastor-x-reader-stories]

reader tries to cook for Al, (we all know he’s a great cook). But reader sucks at cooking so Al has to step in (Or Lucifer)

Up to u to take the req or not, take care :3

Thank you for the request! I'll do both for you <3

You just thought it'd be a nice thing to do. Alastor was always cooking something for someone, due to him actually being a good cook. You just thought it'd be nice to make him lunch

Staring at the very burnt stonetop, it occured to you that you were never really a good cook. Or decent

Ah well. When at first you don't succeed, try try again!

"What are you doing?" Alastor said from behind you, leaning over your head to stare at the atrocity that was your third attempt at cooking.

Of course he startled you, so you jumped, and everything went everywhere.

Even on Alastor's coat-

OH GOD YOU WERE GONNA DIE AGAIN

He'd be upset, obviously, but his curiosity out-weighed his desire to destroy everything and everyone.

So at the moment he'd just give you a look and repeat his question

When you tell him your goal and motives behind it, his expression softens.

Only for a second and if you say he looked soft he'll deny it

The drama queen just snaps his fingers and everything is all clean again.

He'd be wearing an apron that says 'Oh Deer' on it

Didn't you give that to him as a gift?

"Well, if you're going to insist on trying to burn down the kitchen let's at least make something edible, yes?"

You end up feeling kind of bad because this was supposed to be a gift and thank you to him.

He waves you off

"My dear, I'll consider teaching you how to not burn down a kitchen plenty thanks enough"

He actually really likes teaching you things but he'd never admit it

You think Lucifer'd be a lot better a cook

No

He has his strong points, most of which were sweets and apple-related snacks

But eating sweets alone is not a good diet

You tried making him something with more vegetables and other healthy stuff

Then you remembered you also suck at cooking

He'd appreciate what you're trying to do for him

He's thankful for his permanent blush otherwise you'd see how flustered he is

So you end up trying to learn together!

It did not go well

You didn't burn anything down though

And what you ended up making didn't make you vomit

So you considered it a success!

Lucifer suggested just using magic next time

You told him you didn't have that kind of magic

"No worries, starling! I'll magic up something for you whenever you want!"

Even if you wanted to cook for him?

"OOoohhh... Well i mean if you want I guess I can just join you for a meal or two or whatever you want! Hahahahaa!"

Help this man

[silverflqmes]

What about playing with oikawa, atsumu, osamu, kuroo and akaashis hair? Like...just pulling them on top and stroking their hair would be the most comforting shit ever😴

໒⦂ 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐖/ 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑.

notes. hello anon! thank you so much for requesting, this is a really cute prompt oml<3 i hope i was able to do it justice :’) i wasn’t sure if you wanted drabbles or headcanons so i did a mix, enjoy!

genre. fluff + comfort

ft. tooru oikawa, atsumu miya, osamu miya, tetsuro kuroo, keiji akaashi

tw. implied to be post timeskip, so there might be spoilers if you haven’t read the manga!

gender neutral! reader.

     ➫    𝓞𝗜𝗞𝗔𝗪𝗔   𝓣𝗢𝗢𝗥𝗨   ୨୧   ˎˊ˗

⌗ oh. he loves it so much.

⌗ always happy and willing to have you play with his hair! might tease you at first about it though.. i mean — come on. it’s tooru.

⌗ “see y/n-chan, all those long showers and amounts of conditioner are worth it in the end! fluffy hair doesn’t happen just like that!”

⌗ doesn’t really have a particular position he prefers. but, if there’s an opportunity for him to be able to watch volleyball matches while you play with his hair — then bingo

⌗ makes him sleepy though tbh so you do it when he doesn’t get his ass to bed

“tooru-san..” you murmured quietly, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes as you made your way to the brunet, sliding onto his lap. “the bed feels cold without you.. are you almost done..?”

a chuckle left the setter’s lips as he turned the volume down a bit on the tv before placing your head on his shoulder. “that so? did you really miss your tooru-san that much?” he asked you softly, laughing at the whine that left your lips. it was enough to answer his question. “okay, okay.. i’ll tell you what — we cuddle here for a bit while i finish this set, since this match has two more sets..” he muttered before clearing his throat. “and then we’ll go in our room together, okay?”

you weighed his words, contemplating his suggestion before nuzzling into his neck, loosing a quiet breath. “you promise?”

“i promise.” the brunet confirmed, smiling softly as you got more comfortable on his lap, slipping one hand idly into his hair- an old trick you would use to either calm him down.. or in this case, serenade him.

tooru hummed at the action, aware of your true motives, but he couldn’t complain. he had his most favorite and beloved person in the universe clinging and cuddling him while running their fingers through his hair. and although it made him sleepy, he was on cloud nine.

“goodnight, y/n-chan.” he chuckled once he felt your fingers slow to a stop, rising from his spot on the couch to carry you back to your shared bedroom.

     ➫    𝓜𝗜𝗬𝗔   𝓐𝗧𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗨   ୨୧   ˎˊ˗

⌗ he loves it a lot too!

⌗ atsumu is definitely the one to initiate the most in your relationship, so whenever you approach him first — oh, his heart soars.

⌗ but he teases you for it. why wouldn’t he? his dearest lover wants to be close and card their fingers through his hair!

⌗ “do my ears deceive me, y/n-chan? ya wanna play with my hair?? hold on lemme get my recorder so i can keep this on file-OW! DON’T PULL!”

⌗ playing with his hair honestly calms him down really easily, especially when he’s on edge from a game, argument with osamu, or whatever else might be bothering him in the moment. it just resets him a little :’)

“you okay, ‘tsumu?” you asked upon stepping into your shared flat, doggy bag in hand. “samu asked me to bring you this when i went to onigiri miya today after my shift.” you added softly, joining him on the sofa. “everything okay?”

the blond looked over at you for a moment before letting a huff out, shaking his head. “don’t wanna say. yer gonna think it’s dumb.” he grumbled back, sinking more into the couch while you blinked.

it couldn’t be that bad, right?

a sincere smile crossed your lips as you petted his head gently. “come on, ‘tsumu. you can tell me anything! i promise i won’t laugh or think it’s dumb.” you assured him, placing the food down before patting your thigh.

for a moment he looked you up and down, then at the food. perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to tell you.

he let out a breath before lowering his head onto your lap, feeling your fingers weave through his hair in such a soothing manner. he could never tire of it, and somehow, it made him less reluctant. “i was playin’ switch with shoyo-kun and bokuto-kun, when this tiny ass spider suddenly crawled onto the table and freaked the shit outta omi-kun.” an exasperated sigh. “so he took his cleaning solution and started sprayin’ all frantically.. which got onto the joycons.” he confessed, pointing to the envelope on the coffee table. “so i have to send them for repairs, meaning NO SWITCH THIS WEEKEND.”

silence.

“y/n-chan..?” he called out, looking up to see you shielding your mouth — from laughing. “YER LAUGHING?? TRAITOR!!”

“I’M SORRY I’M SORRY PFFT-”

     ➫    𝓜𝗜𝗬𝗔   𝓞𝗦𝗔𝗠𝗨   ୨୧   ˎˊ˗

⌗ he likes it a lot! he’s on the neutral side with physical affection compared to atsumu, but doesn’t reject it lol

⌗ whenever you ask he’s always happy to oblige, loves feeling your hands in his hair, anyway. it relaxes him and just feels super good in general.

⌗ honestly takes him back to lunch time in high school under the trees, just laying on your lap while you ran your fingers through his hair.

⌗ doesn’t really say much when you play with his hair, he’s just got his eyes closed while you do it or is watching the cooking channel with you.

⌗ “should i make this for dinner tonight, or too much?” the answer is and always will be yes, because this man’s food is just<3

“hard day at work?” osamu asked from the kitchen, feeling your arms around his waist as you nodded against his back.

“something like that.” came your low sigh, followed by an annoyed grumble. “my boss gave me this really tough manuscript to edit.” ah, of course.

“did they now?” he asked, to show he was listening, and you hummed in agreement.

“sure did. i don’t get it, samu. they’d publish this piece of shit work, but not my story?? it’s preposterous.” you grumbled, pouting when your lover let out a laugh. what was so funny anyway? “hey!! don’t laugh! i’m genuinely irked by this!”

“sorry, love.” he chuckled a little, sliding the vegetables into the curry he was preparing before turning to kiss your head. “didn’t mean to laugh, just thought ya sounded a little cute there.” he responded, and it was true. you did sound adorable to him. “but you’ll find the right publisher someday, the world’s just not ready for yer book to destroy the market.”

you were reluctant at first with his words, but gave in, anyway. it was osamu miya, your everything. how could you possibly resist? “i suppose, i can wait a bit longer..” you agreed, albeit begrudgingly. “but that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook!”

the gray eyes male rose a brow before turning the knob on low. “that so? well, what would i have to do to be off the hook?” he asked, placing one hand at your waist while the other cupped your cheek.

a grin spread across your lips before you slipped your fingers into his hair. “i think you know the answer to that.” and that he did.

    ➫    𝓚𝗨𝗥𝗢𝗢   𝓣𝗘𝗧𝗦𝗨𝗥𝗢   ୨୧   ˎˊ˗

⌗ this man is so for it, he’ll literally be smirking like a cat who wants petting.. might even purr ( or moan ) as a joke..

⌗ you could honestly ask him whenever or he might just even approach you half the time tbh cuz he’s not even worried about getting his hair messed up ( i mean.. that bedhead is unmoving )

⌗ doesn’t really mind the time or place, but prefers being in bed since he can lay his head on your chest while you play with his hair; it’s just easier and more comfortable lol

⌗ “cut me some slack y/n-chan, i worked super duper hard today.. the all star team sure is high maintenance!” — says this when he was literally doing nothing but laughing his ass off from the sidelines while hajime was scolding all of them ( tooru and atsumu.. ) over an altercation.

⌗ once your fingers slide into his hair, tetsuro is not moving. got a shift today at work? you’re calling sick. got plans with your friends? consider them cancelled.

“oh?” tetsuro rose a brow, noting the ds in your hands, which had his suspicions rising. “dare i ask where you got that from?” he inquired, taking up the vacant spot on the bed as he leaned over your shoulder.

your eyes barely lifted from the screen as you hummed, directing your character to a save point before looking over at your lover with a smile. “i think you might know the answer to that already.” you laughed, leaning up to kiss his cheek. “kenma let me borrow it for the week.” just as he suspected.

a hum left the cat eyed male’s lips as he got comfortable in his spot, scooting closer to you. “i figured as much.” he mused, draping an arm around your waist. “think you got room for one more on your chest? or is that reserved for video games only?”

you rose a brow at his response before letting out a laugh. “is that pettiness i detect, tetsu?” you asked, snickering further before letting out a breath. “i suppose i can make room for tonight..” you drawled out, turning off the device before placing it on your nightstand to charge.

a feline smirk etched onto kuroo’s lips as he wrapped his legs around your waist, moving his head to your chest as he closed his eyes. “perfect, that saves me the bribery.” he snickered out, feeling your fingers card gently through his hair as you scoffed, but smiled anyway.

➫    𝓐𝗞𝗔𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗜   𝓚𝗘𝗜𝗝𝗜   ୨୧   ˎˊ˗

⌗ i don’t think he would mind it honestly, but at first he might be a little confused as to why you would want to play with his hair — or more like he wonders what enjoyment you might get out of it — and now i’m overthinking😐

⌗ anyway, if you do ask him, he will allow you to play with it! he’d never say no to you, as he wouldn’t want to deny your happiness.. and might be a little curious himself

⌗ “are you sure this is gonna help, y/n-san? it seems a little too simplistic to rid me of my — oh.” it was needless to say he took his words back immediately.

⌗ once he realizes that he enjoys it, it’ll become your go to if he’s ever super stressed or having one of his mini anxiety attacks ( those two manga panels resonated sm with me )

⌗ likes to have his head on your lap while you run your fingers through his hair ( might read too as you do it ), it’s very relaxing<3

“keiji?” you called his name softly, lifting your head off your pillow to find a male silhouette kicking off their shoes at the doorway. “it’s late.” you told him when he stepped into the dim light of the tv, frowning a little. “i was beginning to worry..”

“i know- sorry for missing dinner with you.. tenma-san wanted me to stay longer to try and figure out the direction of the new chapter he’s writing.” akaashi sighed out, sleep evident on his visage. he’d been working hard on finishing the chapter for three days now to meet the deadline, but it was taking a toll he hadn’t quite acknowledged yet.

but you did.

“keiji..” you murmured quietly before patting your lap. “come, lay down for a bit.. you’ve been working really hard, so you deserve to give yourself some time to relax.” you told him, smiling a little. “at least the chapter is finished so you can rest for a little without worrying of what needs to be done next.”

it was true, the turquoise eyed male knew it to be true, but he just couldn’t relax.. he kept thinking back to it, if what he done was good enough to be published for the public to see. the last thing he wanted to was let tenma down after all and —

“keiji.” you called again and he snapped from his thoughts, nodding slowly.

“sorry, sorry..” he muttered back, laying down on the vacant space while he rested his head on your lap. “how is this meant to help, though?”

a sigh left your lips, thinking the boy to be clueless. a few days at the office and he was up in the clouds. “just give it a second.” you told him, removing his glasses before carding your fingers through his hair, massaging him gently.

within a few minutes, he was out like a light.

notes. hi hi, i hope this was what you were looking for! i tried to keep them all somewhat diverse, but thank you again for requesting! some feedback would be much appreciated<3 so feel free to send another ask to tell me your thoughts if you prefer to stay anonymous!

↳ return to main masterlist . request rules . send an ask

[dadsbongos]

HELLO i am soo normal about your writing (lie) could you perhaps write something for my bbg cahara of him finding scares reader in the dungeons (kinda like your rag one) THANK YOU. feeding the funger community rn

posting cahara comfort to pre-emptively apologize for the next cahara post (whenever it is that that comes out) 551 words ~~~

Most days, he would not flinch -- taking your gold and dashing out of sight. Most days, he would abandon you for the dungeon’s gaspy hallways and dried blood without a thought. Most days, his pity is dry as bones.

You’re like a wet, shaky dog on the side of the road.

Cahara cannot bring himself to do it. He even takes lead in the fleshy hall, snatching your hand to escape a lizardman before rolling through a mystery door. Rabbits so desperate to escape a gnashing dog they hop down the gaping maw of a snake -- at least the snake is warm and snug inside. 

“Are you alright, dollface?” he murmurs, squinting to make out the shadows before cracking stray hairs from your face.

You don’t feel very doll-like at the moment, frowning in Cahara’s hold, “We’re going deeper in.”

“I know.”

You cradle his hands against your cheeks, just to savor the steady warmth passing through his gloves, “We should be escaping.”

“I know.”

“Cahara,” nails bite into the leather against his knuckles, “I want to leave. I just want to go home.”

He feels terrible, really. Dredging you through beasts and flies and corpses on his quest for riches. Partly for an apology, and partly to keep you from wailing any louder, Cahara presses a bottle of ale to your lips and urges you to drink. When you’ve successfully bitten back a shot of the bitter liquid, he soothes you to even your breathing.

“Can I have more?” you shyly request.

“Of course,” Cahara continues to hold the bottle for you, as your hands tremble far too much. He fears you’d end up with more of the ale staining your clothes than in your belly, “We can sit here for awhile, it seems quiet in this room.”

“Thank you,” you’re ashamed to say you don’t recall why you’d made this venture in the first place. Something about a cube and the Gods -- something great like prophecy and men brighter than the sun. Fear has shocked you into forgetting your frivolous motivations, whatever they were they certainly weren’t this.

Now you latch to Cahara.

A new and sole goal: follow Cahara. Simple and in constant achievement. You’re succeeding just by living, and that’s all you think you’re capable of at the moment. Thankfully, Cahara seems to appreciate the efforts.

“We’ll escape soon,” a lie, “I promise you’ll make it out alive with me, dollface.”

He’s not sure where that part falls on the truth - lie spectrum. He knows he wants to live. He knows he wants you to live.

He doesn’t know if the cruel Gods will allow it. He says none of that to you.

“Drink more,” he coos, already noticing a hazy sheen overtake your once hyper eyes. Your shoulders go lax and you merely hum and nod to his commands, “Let it ease your nerves.”

“You’re not gonna leave, right?” you bumble through the consonants with drunk lips, finding it harder to <i>want</i> to speak.

“No,” true, “I won’t leave you behind.”

Cahara, despite his history and career path, has a soft spot for the unfortunate. And you might be the most unfortunate thing he’s found in this dungeon, terrified out of your wits. He’s losing his edge, really, but he won’t make any complaints.

[cosmicstarlatte]

Levi A-Z Smut HCs (Obey Me!)

⬅Back to Smut HC A-Z Masterlist ◇

18+ only, minors do not interact.

My personal headcanons using this [prompt list]

The goal is to finish the whole list; you are welcome to request a letter so I get to it faster. I will work on it as quick as I can but keep in mind I do have a life & responsibilities lol. ^^

Last Updated: Oct.1.2023 (9 out of 26)

⚠️Notes: I'll tag any sections if needed. If you think a section needs a tag, kindly let me know.

A: Affair (Describe an extra-marital affair)

B: Birthday (Describe birthday sex)

C: Compliments (Mid- and post-sex compliments)

D: Dry Humping (Describe a dry-humping scene)

tags: punishment, humiliation Every once in a while you need to punish him, either he spent way too much on otaku merch or he's been missing classes too much, whatever. You'll usually sit on him & tease him as he tries to play on his PC. He knows what you're doing & he begs to feel you, please he'll 'do better' he says. Unfortunately for him his poor cock won't get that sweet relief exactly. he can beg & whine all he wants & rub desperately against you but he's still gonna have to cum in his pants.

E: Experimenting (Trying something new)

F: Firsts (First time having sex together)

It was clumsy & cute. The poor otaku was so nervous, he couldn't believe he could bag such a baddie. Someway somehow even with the nervousness he still felt calm with you, if that makes any sense. He was more worried about you than him & he just wanted to make you feel good. especially when he came rather quickly before the 1st round. Anyway, the nerd is packin' & those hands & tongue work skillfully. ...You definitely went a few good rounds into the night & left each other a mess before finally taking a sweet bath together. After, you guys cuddled under a warm blanket & watched a lighthearted anime. ♡

G: Gentle (Describe gentle/loving mid-sex gestures)

H: Handsy (When they can’t keep their hands to themselves)

I: Initiator (Who initiates most of the time? How?)

J: Jealous (“Claiming” a partner)

tags: Possessive, Love bites/Marking, Scenting Sweetie, he's the avatar of envy. When it's extreme, there's no hiding it, he gives in. That sweet shy nervous otaku? Gone. He's bringing & giving grand admiral energy, he's giving 'one of the powerful lords of hell.' Sure he could summon Lotan or use something else if he wants to, but all he really needs is to say "Go away" in a icy cold voice & glare that makes thousands of soldiers shiver. You almost feel sorry for any bastard that tries to make him jealous. Even after they leave though, he wants nothing more but to mark you with visible love bites & rub his scent all over you. He made it easily known to his brothers to not touch what's his.

K: Kitchen (Describe a sex scene in the kitchen)

L: Likes (What they like in the bedroom)

M: Morning (Describe morning sex)

It happens frequently hehe. You tend to stay over a lot to watch a marathon or play games. Levi's libido is strong, he's always down to fuck in the morning, it brightens his spirit. Watching you take his cock & filling you up right before school is the perfect way to start the day. It's especially motivating when he knows you walk around the entire day with his cum between your legs, he cant wait to come home & fuck you again. (If he can wait that long)

N: Never (Things they would never try)

O: Orgasm (Describe coming--who comes first? What do they say? How does the other person know it’s approaching?)

P: Playlist (A playlist for getting down and dirty; will probably include a lap dance song, a song for making love, and a song that represents their sex life)

Q: Quiet (Reaction to a quiet partner)

You know what I'm not gonna lie, I think he'd be just a tad disappointed at first. Of course he reminds himself a lot of porn is fake anyway & then he really tunes in to the small delicious sounds you do reveal. The faces you make. The little bits you let him hear are still so very fucking hot & sexy. He's the one making you sound like that either way~

R: Ruttish (Signs that they’re horny)

Ah...Levi is easy. He's not very good at hiding it. A flushed face and a small sheen of sweat to him. He gets a little extra irritable as well. The biggest sign is the tent in his pants when he's around you. Sorry, but he doesn't hide it very well, it's obvious when he looks like he's trying to hide something when he tries to cover up down there. (I wonder if he does it on purpose?)

S: Safe Word (How often is the safe word used? Why?)

T: Teasing (Who’s the tease in the relationship? What do they do? How often?)

U: Undressing (Strip teasing a partner)

V: Videos (Sending NSFW videos to each other)

Do you realize what you've done? The first time you sent him a video, he got instantly hard & couldnt stop cumming to that video. Unfortunately for him he kept getting hard any time he thought about it that week, it was embarrassing walking around with a constant erection. His first few videos in response were a little clumsy, but it turned you on. He was a loud moaner & he loved to whimper. Little whiney pants when he was getting close always did it for you. He made sure to take better video, especially audio when he learned you really loved his moans. ♡

W: Wedding Night (Consummating the marriage)

tags: overstimulation The only thing on his mind is getting you off the entire night until you're crying & begging him to stop. Until you're drained. He knows it's about the two of you celebrating but...you're his life partner now! He's so grateful you chose him out of everyone. Please let him worship you tonight, lay back & let him handle it. He promises he's enjoying this as much as you are. Promise.

X: XXX (What kind of porn does the person watch? How often?)

tags: double dicks, creepy!pervy!levi I'm not going to lie to y'all, Levi's a freak. (Okay we knew this) He watches all kinds of porn, both real & hentai. I'd say it's nearly an every day thing, it's hard taking care of two monster cocks & he needs to empty his balls. His favorite? POV hentai vids. Especially ones that look like you... Perhaps he has a few commissioned hentais where they look like the two of you...

Y: Yawn (How they sleep post-sex)

Z: Zoo (Their animalistic qualities in the bedroom)

[stardewsnail]

Sebastian N/S/F/W Alphabet

Snail’s directory

Sebastian master post can be found here

- NSFW alphabet requests are closed

Alphabet complete

A - aftercare 

General

Immediately after climaxing he tends to curl around his partner and hold them tight for a second while he catches his breath. Once everyone is fully satisfied and reasonably cleaned up, he just wants to cuddle. Absolutely wraps his partner in his arms and presses his face into the crook of their neck. Secretly he’s a big baby and he wants to hold and be held. That’s his peak happy place, and he will fall asleep. 

Dom leaning 

The same as the general but more attentive and will hold his partner either on his chest or as the little spoon. Lots of kisses everywhere and making sure his partner is in a good place. 

Sub leaning 

Sebastian wants to be held and praised. Stroke his hair, kiss his forehead, tell him how well he did. Lightly scratch his back and he will be practically purring  

B - body part 

Sebastian has a thing for thighs on his partner, especially if they’re on the thicker side. His favorite body part on himself would be his biceps. He’s surprisingly muscular under that baggy hoodie. 

C - cum

He doesn’t ejaculate a lot (like slightly below average), especially for how long his orgasms seem to last. Very noisy when he comes, holds his partner tighter the closer he gets—probably a scratcher. 

D - dirty secret 

He so deeply wants to be put in a maid outfit. 

E - experienced 

In general I think Seb is on the lower end of experience. He’s a loner and that doesn’t quite lead to a bangin’ sex life. I personally hc he’s had one serious relationship that was 90% long distance and online so even when he was with somebody he never had much opportunity. That being said, this man can sext like nobody's business. Sebastian  could write best selling erotica. 

F - favorite position 

Mostly anything with his partner on top, but specifically with him sitting up (think like on a sofa) so he can kiss them while they ride. He finds it intimate and also loves the feeling of their whole body against him.

G - goofy

I think he would be surprisingly goofy and light hearted once he got over the initial nerves. He can laugh with his partner and stay relaxed. 

H - hair

I don’t think Sebastian would ever expect to get laid so unless it was scheduled (hc about him having a previous long distance partner) there’s a 50-50 shot it’s just gonna be a jungle. If he remembers ahead of time then things are trimmed, but overall kept pretty natural. 

I - intimacy 

I don’t think he would separate the “romance” from the sex—sex is inherently romantic because it’s intimate. It’s vulnerable. He knows how to set a mood but a lot of the intimacy stems from the intensity of his actions. Then once he’s warmed up to his partner he’s SO fucking mushy.  

J - jack off 

It’s not every day he jacks off but it is most of them. Most often it’s at his desk—pants undone to let his cock free as he consumes whatever material he fancies that time. He’s definitely into erotica more than porn, but will set himself up an audio while he’s reading if he’s decided to take his time.  

K - kinks

Bondage—both him and his partner. Handcuffs, Shibari, you name it—shove a ball gag in his mouth and he is GONE. Also thigh fucking. Fantasy role play would absolutely be a thing for him and I personally think it could tie in well with being tied up. Wax play. 

L - location 

For the kinds of things Sebastian is really into, he needs a private space with sturdy furniture. Home is where the heart is, and he knows a thing or two about carpentry. That bed frame is custom. 

M - Motivation 

Thighs and short skirts thighs and short skirts—plus having his partner on his motorcycle. 

N - no

Nothing while he’s driving the motorcycle. Road safety at all times. 

O - oral 

Giving giving giving—he wants his partner to be an absolute mess as he edges them with his mouth. He loves receiving as well but he’s very likely to give head as foreplay

P - pace 

Slow and forceful. Very intense with lots of eye contact. His partner is going to feel every last inch of him. 

Q - quickie

Sebastian finds a good quickie enjoyable, but he would much prefer to take his time. 

R - risk

He rides a motorcycle, so he’s a little bit of a thrill seeker. That mostly comes out in his affinity for bondage rather than risky locations or other behavior. 

S - stamina 

Sebastian has excellent stamina, especially if he’s trying to draw things out for his partner.  Once he cums though, he gets very sensitive and over stimulates easily…which isn’t necessarily a bad thing if you wanna see him beg.   

T - toys 

He is into toys but shy about it—specifically a vibrating cock ring or a flashlight—something to tease him while he’s tied up.

U - unfair 

He is absolutely unfair. He will edge his partner for as long as possible if allowed. He loves the suspense of it and will watch their face very closely. For all of that, he can barely handle being edged and will be a whimpering mess if attempted. 

V - vocal 

He tries to keep the noise contained but after a certain point he can’t hold back—swearing, whimpering, almost whining—and once he’s there just know he’s going to make a racket when he finishes 

W - wild card

He’s very hesitant about anal but once he tries it he discovers he really likes a plug up his ass while he’s having sex. Specifically rocking it inside him while his cock is being sucked. 

X - x ray

The man has ass for days. He’s got a lil tummy and surprisingly muscular arms. You wouldn’t know it because of that baggy hoodie he wears. A nice dark happy trail leads down to his cock—six and a half inches and on the thicker side, he’s circumcised. He’s especially sensitive on the underside of his head and will lose his mind if his partner slowly licks along that edge. 

Y - yearning 

Horny basement boy. Very nervous about initiating but once he’s comfortable he’s gonna pull his partner into his lap so they can feel exactly what they’re doing to him. He’s big on physical affection and touch so it all flows together nicely. 

Z - sleep

Since he’s a big cuddler he’s prone to falling asleep pretty quickly, and once he’s out he’s out. He can’t help it, he feels so safe and relaxed.

[peachinthenight]

Black On Black

Pairing: Bruce Wayne x Reader

Rated: M

Read on AO3

Summary: You've always had a bit of a thing for men in makeup, especially that black eye makeup Bruce wears under his cowl, and you won't pass up an opportunity to help him get ready for patrol.

Any sane person would run and hide as soon as night fell over Gotham. But your boyfriend? He was putting on a bat-themed crime-fighting suit to go beat people up. He’s insane. You like that.

He was in his lair, preparing for a night out. Alfred was on the supercomputer, examining some security footage from the night before.

“Bruce is in his corner,” Alfred told you wryly, his eyes glued to the monitor.

“Thanks,” you said in response as you went into Bruce’s corner. It was a little alcove that Bruce used to get ready in. Behind one of the train cars, you found Bruce, in front of a table. He was wearing the suit, sans his cowl and gloves. The table had all sorts of gadgets, half of which you didn’t even know what they did. You also noticed that he hadn’t put his makeup on yet. Perfect. It’s all coming together.

Bruce spared you a glance as you approached him.

“Can I help?” You said, your voice quiet. “I want to help put your makeup on,” you clarified as you got closer to him.

“You… want to what?” He said, his brow furrowing. As if that was the most outlandish thing you had ever asked him.

“I want to put your makeup on,” you said. “Do you not want me to?”

Bruce didn’t seem to really register the request— he had shock on his face as if you just asked to marry him. His lips press together in a thin line before he finally gives a small nod. You smile widely.

You bounced over to him in excitement. It really was all coming together. Your master plan.

Bruce looked you up and down, only just now noticing you were wearing one of his shirts.

“Do you do it in a special order?” You ask, sitting on the table he was next to, pulling the small makeup bag into your hands. You unzipped it and looked at the contents. A black, jumbo eyeliner pencil. A MAC Paint Pot in black. Wow, they still made paint pots? Also various eye shadow singles. All in black, of course. And he had a few makeup brushes, too.

"Umm... No, you don't have to. First— Let's start with the eyeliner." He murmured, reaching into the bag and pulling out the eyeliner pencil. You took it from his calloused fingers.

“You’re just gonna let me do whatever I want?” You ask, with an almost devilish smile on your face. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him close. His hands plant themselves down on the table, on either side of your thighs.

He hissed out your name.

“Really?” He said quietly but sternly. “Now?”

He tried to sound irritated but his cheeks were soft, cute pink.

"What? You really think I didn't have any ulterior motives?"

"Well..." He trails off, flushing a little darker, "I sort of suspected, but I didn't think you'd be so... uh, blatant.”

“I’m starting now,” you said pointedly, taking the cap off of the eyeliner pencil.

Before you started, you couldn’t help but take one good look at his features. Bruce’s lips are on the thinner side, and well-formed with a perfect cupid’s bow. His cheekbones are impressive, and he has a straight nose and sharp jaw. His most striking feature, though, is his eyes. Bruce has a deep blue-grey color, framed by his thick, black eyelashes, with dark circles around them from the lack of sleep. He looks intimidating. And hot.

You began by very delicately lining his waterline and lashline with the black. He didn’t even flinch or blink as you did so. You found this to be one of the more uncomfortable steps of makeup, and you were impressed that he took it so well. That’s not to say it wasn’t uncomfortable for him, he could feel the eyeliner tickling his eyelashes, but it was a small price to pay to be so close to you, and to see your cute, impish smiles directed at him.

"Okay, so you're really gonna let me do this however I want?" You asked, just making sure.

"Uh— I suppose so," he responded, sounding unsure of it himself.

“Close,” you told him, and he closed his eyes for you.

You take the MAC Paint Pot and dip into it with a brush. The creamy eyeliner glides on effortlessly. You spread it across his eyelids, and down under his eyes. You notice that Bruce is squirming.

“The uncomfortable part is already over,” you murmured, “why are you so squirmy?”

He let out a breath and his eyes fluttered open. "Well," Bruce begins, seemingly breathless, "It's, uh... You're... touching me."

He was nestled between your thighs, your legs hooked around his waist, keeping him close. As he spoke, his warm breath fanned over your face. His breath smelt like peppermints.

You and Bruce have been dating for a year and a half now, but he was still uncomfortable with non-sexual intimacy.

“Do you want me to stop?” You offered, your legs unwrapping from his waist, allowing him to move away, if he so wished.

He took in a deep breath and shook his head. "No... I'm okay,” he said, shifting his weight. He leaned in closer.

“Just— when you hold me with your legs like that, it’s… hot,” he breathed out.

You picked up a matte black eyeshadow single, and a dry brush. “Are we talking temperature or seductive?” You ask, knowing his answer already.

He hesitates for a moment. "Just..." He trails off, giving in to you, "the second one."

Bruce just made it way too easy to tease him. But he was already a bit uncomfortable, so you held off your teasing remarks. Instead, you leaned forward and pressed your lips to his in a sweet and chaste kiss.

“Close your eyes,” you instructed again. You began to pat on the black eyeshadow atop the eyeliner. Bruce’s hand moved from the table to your left hand, which held the eyeshadow in it. With his eyes still closed, he moved the eyeshadow single out of your hand, so he could lace his fingers with yours. His cheeks were noticeably pink. His eyes open again, as you brush the black eyeshadow underneath his eyes, using soft and gentle motions.

You were done.

Well. It didn’t take long to smear black all over the eyes. He looked like a raccoon. But like, a sexy and intimidating raccoon. His eyes were still shut, and you spotted a bottle of setting spray. He really did go all out, huh? You sprayed a mist of setting spray over his face, and you used your hand to fan him, trying to get it to dry faster.

“All done,” you said softly.

"Alright... Let's see..." He turned his head to look at a mirror nearby, and he took a glance at himself. You did a good job, turning the area around his eyes into little black voids.

“Did I do good?” You asked, looking at his face as he looked into the mirror. “I may have gone a tad zealous, but I wanted to make sure I got the whole area.”

"You did pretty well," he admitted, "Maybe a little too well..”

“If I did such a good job, I should help you out more often,” and you’d never say no to an excuse to spending time with Bruce, and being physically close to him.

Bruce raised an eyebrow at you. “You don’t hate it?”

You couldn’t suppress an eye roll. “What do you mean? I’ll do anything to be close to you.”

"Really?" he asks, looking deep into your eyes, "Anything?"

“You’re going to make me regret saying that, aren’t you?” You said wryly.

“I don’t know,” he said, leaning closer until his nose was nearly touching yours. "You want me to?" he asks, his breath fanning your skin.

His voice was low and seductive, it caused your heart to quicken, and your body to feel as if it was burning.

“You’re teasing me,” you breathed out. Bruce didn’t tease often. Not like this. He must really be in a good mood, you mused.

"Maybe I am..." he admits, the smile not leaving his lips as he spoke. His peppermint-scented breath kept hitting your face, keeping you hot. His eyes were locked with yours, and his smile was smug. He seemed slightly proud of his teasing, but your reaction was definitely encouraging.

Bruce wasn’t like this often, so you reveled in the attention; in his teasing. Your body felt hot in the best possible way. He was causing your heart to beat so hard in your chest that you swore he could feel it through his armor plates.

“You getting tight in that suit, Bruce?” You asked, your voice hitching. “Or am I the only one getting hot under the collar.”

Bruce chuckled a low rumble from his chest. “Just a little,” he said, his cheeks still a soft pink. “You make it too easy, you know,” he murmured. Words you once told him, when he complained of your incessant teasing. You bit down on your lower lip and stared into his eyes. His beautiful, beautiful eyes.

“If Alfred wasn’t here,” you said, your voice quiet. “I’d have you out of that suit already.”

Bruce finally closed the distance, leaning forward just an inch so your lips met his. You attempt to deepen the kiss, but Bruce pulls away, causing a low whine to escape from your lips.

“Alfred,” he reminded.

“He’s not paying attention,” you whisper.

“Alfred always pays attention,” he responded quietly.

You huff, but relent.

“Bruce,” Alfred’s voice called out, causing the Bats within the abandoned subway station to screech and scatter. “The signal is up,” Alfred stated.

Bruce let out a sigh, being pulled from their own little world back into their grim reality was like a bucket of cold water being thrown on your head. He gave you an apologetic look. Your kiss had given him an emotional high, but Alfred had pulled him back to earth.

“Right,” Bruce breathed out. He gave you another kiss; tender and loving. He smiled at you, but it looked pained. He quickly slipped on his gauntlets, still not really moving away from you.

“Don’t— don’t forget that you have someone waiting at home for you, alright?”

Please don’t do anything stupid. Don’t take any unnecessary risks. Please come home to me.

“I won’t.” He assured you with a gentle kiss on the forehead.

Bruce grabbed his cowl and put it on. It was time for Batman to answer his signal.

[jackasswhre]

Hiya idk if your requests are open but if they are can I get a jackass image/fic (Platonic) where reader gets dumped by their partner

This is kinda hard to explain

But yk how some people write a fic and there multiple people in that in fic that's kinda what I'm thinking like something with whatever jackass guys you want

(⁠ʘ⁠ᴗ⁠ʘ⁠✿⁠)

hiiiiii, yes they are open, sorry ive been really busy lately so i havent posted

i did headcanons bc i dont really know how to write full fics, also i did johnny, steve-o, ryan, bam and pontious :) hope you like it!!!!

Platonic!Johnny Knoxville/ Steve-o/ Bam Margera/ Ryan Dunn/ Chris Pontious x reader who has just been dumped

Johnny Knoxville

(im really sorry his is gonna be short bc i have no idea what to write for him)

Ok so i feel like Johnny would definetly hug you and tell you that it's going to be okay

Like some motivational dad talk lmao

Because his way of comforting you is most likely talking about it

And if you don't want to talk about it then he 100% understands and tells you that he's here for you

Probably watches a comedy movie/show with you so you will laugh

Orders takeout or makes food himself

Just like makes sure you feel alright and makes you forget about the person who just dumped you

Does anything you ask him to

In general he's really gentle about it

Steve-O

I feel like Steve-O wouldn't really be into the whole talking thing

I mean like he definetely will listen to you rant if you need to but he just wouldn't really know what to say

It also depends on what era it is

Because if he's sober then he's incredibly sweet and like Johnny probably watches a movie with you

But if he's not sober then he'll 100% suggest going to the bar and getting shit faced after like 10 minutes of hearing you talk about the breakup

And like honestly you two would have so much fun that night

Drinking and laughing

Honestly maybe even crying

If you don't want to go to the bar then he understands and goes by himself

Lmao jk he's not that mean

He might whine a bit but if you really don't want to go then he gets it and you guys probably fall asleep on the couch watching some early 2000s cartoon

Bam Margera

Now here's the deal with Bam

He totally and completely gets it and is there for you

But he will also suggest that you guys go skate to let some anger out

If you can skate it's not even gonna be a suggestion

He'll literally grab you, pull you off of the couch and throw you in the car to go to the skatepark

If you don't know how to skate he says that he'll help you and while you're there he "teaches" you different tricks but in reality he's just having fun and he may have slightly forgotten that you can't skate

Once you guys are done you probably hit up a gas station, buy some snacks and sit on the sidewalk

In the middle of converstation he'll ask if you're okay and if there's anything else he can do

Bam's an amazing friend so he'll help in any way he can

If the person who dumped you was a guy and was a total asshole then he definetely calls Dunn and they "talk" to him

You guys spend the rest of the night listening to HIM and maybe even smoking

Ryan Dunn

Bro when I tell you that Ryan is the best friend anyone could have I mean it

I mean like first of all he would 100% give you an AMAZING hug and tell it's gonna be alright

Then he would probably take you to the store and buy you whatever snacks and/or drinks you wanted

You guys would spend the rest of the afternoon/evening/night/whenever talking and watching tv

He shares some of his stories on how he got dumped and tells you that he knows how you feel and wants to make you as happy as possible

If you want to laugh then he'll put on some show or tell you funny stories

If you want to cry then he will totally cry with you

If you're mad then he will first try to calm you down and if that doesn't work he'll find an abandoned building or something where you guys can break stuff

If the rest of the viva la bam/cky guys hear about what you guys are doing they will 100% join you (and if you don't want them to Ryan tells them to fuck off)

Ryan's the definition of the sweetest friend anyone could have

Chris Pontious

Lets get one thing straight

Chris is the funniest person on the planet

So when you tell him about you getting dumped, his goal is to make you laugh as much as possible

Whether that's while you're crying

Or when you guys are talking about other things

He tries to get your mind off of it and he does anything to do it

Even if he totally embarasses himself in the process

As long as you're laughing he's happy

He's also really good at talking so if you don't want him to make jokes 24/7 he'll 100% listen and talk to you about other things

I feel like he gives really but also kinda stupid advice

Idk how to explain it

Maybe its the fact that normally everything that comes out of this dudes mouth is goofy as fuck

Or maybe its just the fact that he hasn't fully stopped making jokes

Whatever it is the advice is still pretty good

And he is still fully devoted to making you happy

Also please laugh at his jokes

Even if they're kinda bad

It'll boost his ego so much lmao