#but not crazy high

[acowardinmordor]

got a massage. had a steddie thought.

Steve goes to a place that gives you an edible, and then a massage. He's a total lightweight but doesn't want to admit, so takes 25mg, then pretends he's not orbiting Jupiter. When his masseuse Eddie -- who Steve thinks is very pretty, even without his glasses on -- is working on his arms and hands, the excess high bites him in the ass. Eddie rubs his hands down Steve's forearm, then over his palm, eventually sliding his fingers between Steve's. Steve immediately holds the man's hand, and makes a happy noise. Obviously the guy tries to get his hand back so he can continue to do his job, but Steve isn't having it. He keeps holding, and starts talking about how nice this is, and how they should go get ice cream, like in those old movies, a milkshake with two straws, and then watch a movie together on the couch, maybe one of the scary ones so he---

Which is how, when the high fades enough that he can think rationally again, Steve finds himself half-massaged, still holding hands with a definitely pretty man, who is staring at him like a deer in headlights.

[galaxymagitech]

Bruce: Congratulations, Jason! You’re the first of my kids to graduate college!

Dick: Yeah, first and only one for all eternity!

Bruce: *Ignoring Dick by sheer willpower* Anyway, what are you planning to do next?

Jason: I think I’m going to continue my education in English Lit.

Bruce: *nervously* Great. You’ll get a Master’s Degree, right?

Jason: …

Bruce: …right?

Jason: Actually, I’m going for a PhD.

Bruce: This is a terrible joke. You’re over the supervillainy, right, Jay?

Jason: Look, my application to GothamU’s PhD program was accepted!

Bruce: No child! Of mine! Will get! A PhD!!!

Jason: I’m hoping to be a literature professor at GothamU, if I survive long enough.

Bruce: *screams incoherently*

Dick: I think you broke him.

[swordsandstitches]

One last silly before this presidency blows up the world

[xiewho]

its all love baby

[minionsunclee]

Blarmy!

[dubiouslymelly]

WE DIDNT EVEN SEE THE BOGGY SOCKS!!!

[chloesimaginationthings]

Michael Afton rating his FNAF animatronics,,

[ispyspookymansion]

no nuance option for well sort of kind of we’re friendly!!!!! make your own call on what you define friend as

[why-be-normal]

People shocked by Riz smoking during combat and being 100% fine with Sprak doing meth are forgetting this is the same teenage goblin who did a shit ton of FANTASY COCAINE in his Sophomore year spring break followed by getting a conspiracy board tattood ALL OVER his body. My boy has been crazy since DAY FUCKING ONE!!!!!!! HE ATE HIS EX-VICE PRINCIPLE!!!!!

[hamable]

You’re Ruben Hopclap. You’re a teen rock star headlining a local festival. Your interim principal attempts to kill you multiple times. The elusive crush you wrote all your songs about vanishes with some other kids and returns covered in gore. The most popular guy in school jumps fifteen feet in the air, turns to you with a smirk and says, “I’m actually a huge fan,” and spears said principal through the core. Your crush boards a bus going who knows where. Someone gets on a mic and tells everyone to go home. It’s been four minutes.

[ohposhers]

i want floyd to get high at a rock concert and start a fight in the moshpit

[lesbianviolet]

the crit! king! crit! king!

[cherryluvss]

I wanna have high sex so bad....

My body gets stupidly sensitive and I am no longer that shy girl in the corner. I also cannot control my mouth when high either so don't judge me when I start telling you how badly I want you to breed me and how I'll take your strap like a good girl without being asked.

[xiewho]

bro was not having ANY of it this ep

[spinaholi]

mazey phaedra i love you, looking at the board games closet at this crazy high school party and trying to get your crush to play twister with you instead of doing cocaine with another girl. mazey one chance please

[bacchuschucklefuck]

they look like this I think .