Tumgik
#but one of my coworkers who has consistently NOT had my back actually wanted to ban a regular because of how the regular was treating me
stonesandswords · 4 months
Text
.
0 notes
foldingfittedsheets · 4 months
Text
The location of the sex shop I worked was a haven for spiders. We had tall ceilings and skylights and unused storage rooms. It was a spider paradise. We quickly sussed out which coworkers to call on in case of emergency. The Dorito lady was a solid ally for spiders but absolutely petrified of moths.
But there’s actually a hierarchy of fear. Most people don’t realize. The person least afraid is the one forced to deal with the bug in question. If coworker B was scared, but coworker A was petrified, well coworker B was gonna have to screw their courage to the sticking place because by the law of fear they were the most competent person on scene.
Thus enters Rick. Rick first appeared in the back storage room. This room doubled as a second bathroom so we went in on a semi frequent basis. The girl who’d gone in to pee shot out again gibbering with fear about the biggest spider she’d ever seen had just run across her boot.
We sicced Dorito lady on it. She returned, shaking her head. “He was squatting on a power cord where it plugs in. I couldn’t get a clean shot at Rick.”
“Rick?”
She shrugged. “Spiders that big need a name. Seemed like a Rick.”
Rick, freshly named, became a store menace. I’d normally say this was probably a case of multiple spiders being mistaken for one but everyone who encountered him swore up and down there could be no mistake. This spider was massive, fast, and distinct. A gladiator among arachnids.
I never encountered Rick. His exploits grew in the telling but the theme was consistent: no one could kill him. He’d hunker in places that no one could reach and dart away when a strike missed. He also chased off the more faint hearted, charging them in bold dashes. There could be no benign cup transplant to remove Rick from the premise. He was not leaving.
The saga of Rick continued for two months. Not seeing him was almost worse, a fearful wariness when going to the bathroom or stepping into quieter areas. I waited with dread, hoping my eventual run in would have me on shift with Dorito lady to protect me.
It was not to be. There was a girl the same who hated my one moment of singing that was absolute piss-herself scared of spiders. She’d slam straight into a panic attack and couldn’t think or speak. And so it was that one night on shift, I heard her scream.
It was unmistakable. I was in the front window turning off the open sign. Through an obstacle course of mannequins and lingerie I performed an acrobatic sprint out of the window, darting up to find her quivering at the front counter, fully crying. I radiated calm at her and said, “Just point.”
I knew it was Rick. Our destinies were intertwined and we had always been pulled toward the inexorable battle that was drawing nigh.
Her hand raised to point to our sandwich board sign at the front of the store. So Rick had the metaphorical high ground. There was no quick easy strike on the slanted signs surface.
I armed myself and marched into battle, my knuckles white on my chosen weapon. I would do this, because I must. Because there was no one else. And because I wanted to close and go home.
I saw Rick immediately and I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen a bigger spider since. Outside of a tarantula, he was truly the most massive spider I’ve ever beheld outside a zoo enclosure or terrarium.
We regarded each other. Rick launched off the sign toward me and I stomped my foot reflexively, making him pause in his charge. Then I raised my weapon. Anything else, I believe Rick could have evaded. He’d bested most of the store thus far. But I had chosen chemical warfare.
I doused the shit out of that spider with cleaning spray, stunning him with a barrage of chemicals. While he froze, choking on the unexpected deluge, I dropped a paper towel over him. My foot came down.
I felt his exoskeleton crunch and I can feel it still to this day. The shattering was as of bones and I truly mourned that we had been forced into senseless war. If only he has cleaved tighter to the shadows. If only he’d crawled willing into a cup for relocation. I released a full body shudder of horror, fear, and adrenaline as I stepped back.
I took several quivering breaths. I donned a veneer of calm and tidied the battlefield of it’s corpse then went to reassure my coworker that all was well, while internally I still shook.
You fought well, Rick. I hope you sired many more monstrous children to haunt retail workers in the years to come. Rest in valor, you monster.
5K notes · View notes
sleepysnk · 1 year
Text
a/n: rindou was highly requested on my feedback form, so i decided to give it a shot and try writing something for him! :) forgive me if my characterization is trash. i hope you guys enjoy <3.
pairings: rindou haitani x fem!reader
warnings: some angst, cheating, businessman!rindou, mentions of reader x male!oc, hookups, nsfw, smut, flirty rindou, unprotected sex, some possessive behavior, use of pet names (baby, angel, my girl, princess, good girl), dirty talk, creampie, choking, praising.
synopsis: your boyfriend of almost one and a half years has been unfaithful to you with multiple women at his job. you’re aware of this every single day, and he doesn’t even hide it anymore. one day, you met his boss, rindou haitani, and were completely captivated by the man. he was more polite to you than any other man had been, so one night when your shitty boyfriend was clearly cheating, you decide to invite rindou over to have some fun of your own.
promotion ft. rindou haitani
Tumblr media
11:58 PM-> Yakashi: i’ll be home tomorrow morning
11:59 PM-> Yakashi: don’t wait up for me. i got business to attend to.
Your eyes rolled at the messages you received from your lover. It wasn’t unusual for your boyfriend to stay out late for work or go out with his buddies until the crack of dawn, but what honestly annoyed you the most was the fact that Yakashi was a horrible fucking liar. You were completely aware that he wasn’t being truthful in any of those words he sent you. However, you always had to force yourself into believing whatever shitty lie he came up with next. 
You knew exactly what he was doing. Yakashi was clearly cheating on you with another woman.
A little over six months ago, you had discovered that he had been unfaithful to you. You unfortunately had the experience of seeing some of the messages he had been sending back and forth with other women. Some of which were actually his coworkers that you knew of. The others were completely strangers to you. Finding out that information crushed you to your core. You had been with him for a whole year at that point. Three hundred sixty five days. It left you with so many questions, and it eventually led to an intense argument inside your apartment. Yakashi denied it all at first. He claimed that they were simply platonic relationships, but you backed yours with the fact that you would never send your male friend photos of your genitals and consistently flirt with them. After that, he finally released the truth and admitted that he was being dishonest with you. 
For a little while, you could hardly trust the man. Yakashi wanted to continue being in a relationship with you, and he promised many times that he would remain loyal to you. He also said that he loved you and if you ever wanted to search his phone you had every right to. It sounded reassuring to you, so you decided to give him another chance. You believed in second chances and you prayed to god that he would never do it again. 
Though, like every promise he made, it soon ended up becoming shattered. 
After about three months, Yakashi had cheated on you yet again. You had the urge to confront him once more, but unfortunately, you knew you would sound like a broken record. You also didn’t want to lose your relationship with the one man you found so much happiness in. A complete war had begun inside of yourself. You knew full well that it was wrong to stay with a man who was making a fool out of you every night, but what could you do? You lived in the same apartment with one another, and you knew if you ended the relationship that you would barely be able to make ends meet every week. As much as you tried to swallow down the reality, you always had hope that one day his behavior would change and he would be the same man you met almost a year prior. It seemed highly unlikely, but you always tried to look at the brighter side to things.
All of the signs were in your face. You never missed the aroma of sweet perfume wafting from his dress shirts, the random text messages he would receive in the middle of the night, maroon lipstick stains on his white collar, the out of the blue disappearances throughout the day. He had also become quite secretive of his whereabouts as well. He would often not reply to your messages until way later. It was so painfully obvious that he wasn’t telling you the truth. You honestly wished he would so you could just abandon the man entirely.
Despite all of that, you stayed. You would put on fake smiles and those stupid “I love you’s” that meant absolutely nothing at the end of the day. Being with him exhausted you. You knew a man like him would never ever change. Once a cheater, always a cheater. It was a very well known fact.
One day, you were informed by your boyfriend that you had to attend a dinner party for the company he worked for. It was very professional and Yakashi had drilled it into your mind that you must dress very nicely and be as polite as possible with his coworkers. Originally, you didn’t want to attend such an event. Yakashi would probably just toss you to the side and do whatever the fuck he wanted with whoever. It honestly didn’t seem like it would be of any positive benefit for you, so the idea of going with him seemed sour inside your mind. Why would you get all dolled up to be seen with a man who never knew your worth? His damn coworkers probably were aware of his actions too, so you would probably receive lots of side eyes and whispers. 
However, despite showing little interest in going, he somehow managed to get you to come. 
Your dress was gorgeous. It was black one that stopped around mid-thigh and you wore gold jewelry to match it. Your boyfriend didn’t show much interest in your outfit. He gave you that fake grin and whispered how great you looked, but you could tell by his dull eyes and forced tone that he was lying to you. You swallowed down that anger that bubbled inside you and put on a feigned expression. You just had to survive through the entire night and then you would be able to put the whole thing behind you.
Once you arrived at the banquet hall, you saw just how elegant it was. The inside was honestly like a mansion with how luxurious it presented itself to be. The floors were made of a rich marble that had specks of gold inside it, an impressively large chandelier hung above your head with a few tears of glass hanging from the sections. Overall, it was a beautiful sight. It just went to show how much your boyfriend’s job took these things seriously. Everyone around you was dressed from head to toe in expensive items. Some of the women wore red bottoms, while the men had Rolex watches wrapped around their wrists. It was no wonder these people seemed happy to stay at their jobs. 
A few of Yakashi’s coworkers had approached him when you both stepped into the ballroom. There was soft music being played from a piano that sat in the corner of the room. It was a very lively place. Though, your positive emotions were soon washed away by your boyfriend. 
“This is (Y/N), she’s my date for tonight.”
For tonight.
Those words pissed you off more than you realized. You would have thought that your own boyfriend would introduce you as his girlfriend or even his significant other, but no. You were just his “date” for the evening. That’s how you came to the conclusion that he wouldn’t ever return back to the person he used to be. He was practically concealing your relationship from the eyes of other people. It made you sick. Was he embarrassed to be seen with you? Was there something wrong with you? There were so many itching questions. One thing was for sure though, you felt insecure. You despised feeling such an emotion at your age, but the man you were with did absolutely nothing to tame those self destructive thoughts you had on a daily basis. He put you in such an uncomfortable position that night that you had thoughts of just leaving early.
You managed to maintain a composed expression and introduced yourself to the people he worked with. They asked about what your job was and how you knew Yakashi.
If only they knew.
After some mingling and conversation, you both ended up at a round table with chairs circling it. Your name was on a small place card, written in some of the most beautiful cursive you had ever laid your eyes upon. You had assumed that is where you would be sitting, so you plopped down on the chair beside Yakashi. Soon enough, other guests had arrived and joined you both at the table. All of them were familiar to your boyfriend. Once introductions were over, you had completely tuned out the entire conversation. He blabbed on about work and how he couldn’t wait to buy this new car he had been eyeing for a little while. All of it bored the hell out of you. He never once considered what you might be feeling, nor did he make any effort to include you in the conversation. It honestly felt like you were sitting at a table back in high school. 
It wasn’t until about ten minutes in that someone else had approached the table. Everyone sitting there had lightened up and began shaking hands with someone who was standing right beside the table. Yakashi sounded more thrilled than he was before, so you lifted your eyes away from the tablecloth to see who was there. Your eyes landed on a very fine man. He made your heart race with nervousness, and he was honestly just drop dead gorgeous.
He wore a navy blue suit that looked more expensive than the rent Yakashi paid. A tattoo had trailed down his hand and a nice gold watch was wrapped around his wrist. He had eyes the color of amethyst and his hair was styled in a mullet that paused at his shoulders. The color was a mix between black and lavender. Some of his bangs had covered his eyes, but it seemed just comfortable enough for him to see. You didn’t know who he was, but judging by everyone’s demeanor towards him, you came to the conclusion that he was of some importance to everyone there. Your boyfriend was speaking with him in such a way like he was trying to impress him. Everyone else was sort of doing the same thing, and they all seemed to be on eggshells around the mysterious man. His identity to you was unknown. You had never seen him prior to the dinner party, and your boyfriend never really mentioned anyone fitting his description. Not surprising.
Then, much to your shock, the man noticed your presence at the table. He sensed your awkwardness and sort of felt bad for you. He completely missed you at the table, and who was he to not be a proper host? 
“And who are you?”
Once you lifted your eyes, you saw him staring at you. Your mouth had gone completely dry and you had no idea what to say. All of the guests, including Yakashi, had their eyes on you. His voice was smooth and it slipped through your ears like honey. 
Yakashi seemed to notice you being unmoved by the question asked to you. 
“This is-“
“I didn’t ask you, I asked her.”
The atmosphere around your table fell still at the man’s response to your boyfriend. You had never seen someone speak to him in such a manner, and it even astounded some of the people sitting around you. Yakashi’s face had turned somewhat red from embarrassment. Who was this man? He easily had the respect of every individual in that room, but what was he to them? Was he a coworker who had no problem putting others in their place? Could he be higher up? Your mind buzzed with questions you had very little answers to. He was very bold, though. You would fully give him that credit. 
“I’m (Y/N).. Yakashi’s date.”
The man beside your boyfriend flickered his eyes from where you were sitting to Yakashi. It was almost like he was reading if you guys were some perfect match. There was this expression on his features that seemed almost.. shady. A look that screamed he knew something that he wasn’t supposed to. It made you wonder what that could be. This man clearly had some hold over your boyfriend that you had yet to know of.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Rindou Haitani. I’m Yakashi’s boss and owner of this business.” 
Your mouth almost fell open when he said that he was your boyfriend’s boss. It all added up now. Everyone had to respect the man who was the reason for their employment. It was no wonder Yakashi was trying to suck up to that man. Rindou had that high power over the rest of them. It honestly made you intrigued. He was quite the man. He then approached you in your seat, barely giving any mind to Yakashi who had become very quiet since Rindou had shut him down. He outstretched his hand, and you gladly reached over to shake it. He had a delicious cologne lingering from his suit. It smelled expensive. Better than anything Yakashi had ever owned. 
“I hope you enjoy yourself tonight.”
His voice sent shivers ghosting down your spine from how deep it had become. Once he released your hand, he walked away from your table and left you ultimately stunned. He went off to greet other guests and people who worked with him. All you could think was the same thing over and over the entire evening.
What a man.
Rindou was clearly no stranger to the business game. He had his shit together, and fuck, he was so handsome. You were wondering how a man like that didn’t have multiple women clinging onto his arm. He seemed to have no problem telling people the blunt truth, which was so attractive. A man who could make others cower in their knees was so hot to you. You knew having a wandering eye while being in a relationship was wrong, but your boyfriend was doing it twenty four seven. He was going behind your back all the time, so you reciprocating that energy only felt deserved if you were being honest. He didn’t have to know either. 
Afterwards, you had seemed to always somehow run into the man. 
There was an occasion where Yakashi needed you to come drop off his lunch. You were in the middle of dealing with something for work when the man had phoned you over the issue. As much as you wanted to tell him to go fuck himself and that he had a car too, you obliged and went back to your shared apartment to grab the small container that contained his lunch. You made the lengthy drive to the building he worked in which was downtown. Your boyfriend instructed you to leave it in the break room and he would grab it once he had a moment of free time. Once you reached the top floor, the receptionist had directed you down a lengthy corridor with many doors on each side. Some of them were shut with clients sitting in the chairs, while others were left wide open and empty. He worked at such a great place, yet he was a piece of shit. 
Eventually, you had gotten lost in the hallways of the building. Some of them led you absolutely nowhere or they went to doors that could only be gone through with a key card. You didn’t have one, so you honestly felt like you were an idiot for walking around so freely. Someone was bound to catch you at some point and question your reasoning for loitering in an empty hall with a container of food in your hand. You figured you would call Yakashi and ask him to pick it up somewhere else. 
“Lost?”
The container in your hand almost went slack when a voice spoke from behind you. For a moment, you believed that someone had found you lingering around and were suspicious of your presence. However, that soon changed when you realized it wasn’t a mere stranger concerned for your well being. It was Rindou Haitani. The same man who owned that building you were mindlessly walking around in. This had to be one of the most embarrassing moments of your life. The big boss caught you standing there, looking like an idiot. He probably would throw you out and scold your boyfriend for allowing you to enter. You couldn’t wait to feel that wrath once you went home.
“I was looking for Yakashi.. he told me to bring his lunch.”
Your eyes didn’t miss the way Rindou’s expression slightly shifted at the mention of Yakashi. He honestly looked like he had something he wanted to say, but he chose to keep his mouth shut. Instead, that odd expression averted to a smile. 
“Yakashi is busy, but I can take it to him for you. I can escort you to the exit as well, if you’d like.” 
Your eyes widened a little from his sudden proposal, but it was a lot better than wandering around without knowing a damn thing. Plus, who were you to deny an offer like that? You had only about fifteen minutes before you were supposed to head back to work, and you weren’t trying to piss off your boss by being late. You then walked over to the man, handing the container of food to him. Rindou was much more attractive up close. He seemed more professional and serious rather than his social demeanor he had at the dinner party. 
“Thank you, I appreciate it. I have to go back to work anyway.”
Rindou seemed satisfied with your response, so he motioned for you to follow him down the corridor. It was sort of a quiet walk. Neither of you spoke any words, but the silence between you both was comfortable like you two were good friends or something. You passed by a few people who said hello to him or asked him how his day was. All of them instantly shifted in their stances when he passed by. It was almost amazing to see how quick people change when someone in a higher position of power is in their presence. He could change the entire energy of a room with just a snap of his finger.
Eventually, you both made it to the end of the corridor and back where you began. You were relieved to have made it out without an issue from Rindou. He would probably gossip about that experience later on. This had to be the oddest experience you have ever had, and you hoped to drown it out later on by going back to work. 
“Have a good one, (Y/N). I hope to see you again soon.”
You wished that was the last time, but it wasn’t.
You had faced Rindou multiple times after that. Whether it was dropping off some food for Yakashi, or seeing him at one of those dinner events. He was always somehow around the corner, and each time he was always conversing with you in a polite manner. There were things that Rindou did that no other man, not even Yakashi, would ever do. He held doors open for you, pulled out your chair one time, and he had even complimented your diamond earrings that you had received as a gift from your mother. He was a sweet man. He could almost give you cavities from it all. There was a feeling inside your chest that was warm whenever Rindou was around you. It was wrong, so wrong. You still had a boyfriend and that was his boss. Seeing it as something more than just professional would be inappropriate, and you knew that.
Things had really come to a head when you had gone to another dinner event with Yakashi. He had wandered off somewhere inside the banquet and left you by yourself at the table. He was probably in some bathroom with his tongue buried down some girl’s throat, but at that point, you could care less. She could have whatever shitty man your boyfriend was. 
You sat there, bored. Not much was really happening except for the many conversations you could hear around you. People were discussing business deals and flexing whatever amount of money they received on their check. All of it was foreign to you and just really boring. You honestly just considered ordering an Uber and going home by yourself. You could care less if Yakashi would complain the next morning. It’s not your fault that your shitty excuse of a boyfriend decided to leave you there unattended. 
You reached for your purse which was hanging on the wooden chair you were sitting on. You pulled the buttons holding it together apart and reached inside of it to fish for your cell phone. As you were digging around, you paused when you felt something foreign inside of your bag. There was a small piece of paper folded neatly. Your eyebrows furrowed the moment your eyes settled on the object. You had no recollection of placing the paper inside your bag before you left, so you grew curious as to what was inside of it. You pulled it out and opened the top flap, reading the contents written on it. 
“You seem lonely, call me sometime- Rin.”
Warmth spread across your cheeks when you noticed his phone number was written just underneath the text. There was no way he actually made such a bold move. It felt unbelievable to you. A man like him doing such a thing had completely thrown you off. It could have very easily been a test. He could have just done that to see if you would possibly send him a message, but it didn’t seem like Rindou had anything against your boyfriend. 
You decided to conceal the secret and hide the phone number in your purse. Yakashi would never search through your things unless he was looking for his cell phone, but he hardly ever gave you the chance to even hold it. He was always so secretive. He had even gone to the lengths of removing you as his lock screen. You knew exactly why he did such a thing, so that’s why you never asked him about it. He would make up some stupid excuse and expect you to believe it. That’s what happened when you questioned him the first time. He practically tugged at certain strings to make his stories believable, but you weren’t an idiot anymore. You knew full well what the hell he was doing behind your back, so you could care less if he found the phone number in your purse. He probably was just waiting to catch you doing something so he could seem like the good guy in whatever foolish story he’d tell his buddies or his next girlfriend.
You never texted Rindou. To be honest, you were afraid to. He was quite an intimidating guy and you weren’t sure what he would say, so you pretty much left it be. You only saw him twice after he dropped his phone number in your purse, and all of them were very friendly encounters. Though, you didn’t miss the way he placed his hands around your waist to “scooch” past you in the crowded room. Those touches sparked on your skin and made you melt like putty, but you remained firm and tried to stay calm.
That was until tonight hit. You were fully expecting those text messages from Yakashi. He claimed that he would be staying late after work to deal with some extra paperwork left behind, and you just shrugged when he told you. You honestly found peace in his absence in your bedroom. You didn’t have to deal with those fake words he’d say to you whenever he lied down in your bed. It also meant that you got to do whatever you wanted. 
It was already five past midnight. You just reacted to the text messages and exited the text app. You already know what the hell he was up to right now. He was probably dragging some girl to a hotel room and having sex with her. It almost felt unfair to you. He was here having the time of his life without a care in the world, while you were at your apartment in an empty bed with no one beside you. It was lonely. You never considered cheating on Yakashi before. Some people say it’s unclassy to do the same thing to someone else, but that never made sense to you. If anything, it made a lot of sense to do it right back to the person who destroyed your trust in the first place. Although, sometimes it backfired, and the guy or girl wins in the end because they cover their ass so hard that you’re made into the villain. Some people just loved living in denial. Even your own friends told you to do the same thing to him, but with who? You had guy friends but none of them would ever sleep with you while you were with Yakashi.
An idea crossed into your mind when browsing your brain for a man you could possibly sleep with, and it was a bad one.
You don’t know why you thought of Rindou as the first candidate. It must have been his polite demeanor towards you. For once, a man made you feel like you mattered. He made you feel beautiful and his presence was almost comforting to you in a way. You sort of blamed it on the fact that he was the first person showing you attention in almost six months, but there was just something about that man that was completely alluring to you. He did things that Yakashi never could do. 
You scrolled through your contacts to find Rindou’s. It had remained untouched since you added it into your phone secretly. You weren’t sure if the man wasn’t even awake at this hour. He could very much be asleep in his own bed, and it honestly seemed a little embarrassing to wake up to see a missed text from you. You chewed on your bottom lip, heart pounding furiously against your chest as you typed and deleted a message on your keyboard. Was this even a good idea? He could very easily tell Yakashi or even somebody else, but Rindou didn’t even know you two were in a serious relationship. He claimed you were his “date” so maybe Rindou had assumed you were single, but truth is, you weren’t. The last thing you would want is this circling back to Yakashi and ending up in deep shit. He had a big mouth on him. 
Though, the pure thought that your own boyfriend was out there with some other woman angered you. He had gotten away with it so many times that you pretty much didn’t give a fuck if he found out. Yakashi wasn’t an idiot. He knew exactly what he was doing to you, and that needed to come to a close. 
Fuck it.
You sat up in your bed and began thinking of a text. You wanted something simple and casual. He was in fact a businessman and typing like you were a damn teenager in heat would rub this man the wrong way. You wanted to play it cool and safe. Moving too quickly might cause a rift between you both.
You: hi rindou, it’s (y/n)
Once you sent the message, you clicked your phone off and waited. Your heart was slamming against your rib cage and your mouth had gone completely dry. You sort of prayed that he was asleep so you could deal with such a matter tomorrow morning. Honestly, you just hoped you didn’t look like an idiot messaging him in the middle of the night. He could very easily be busy too and not paying attention to his cell phone.
You were about to give up about five minutes in, but the vibration of your phone made you fumble for your device. 
Rindou replied.
Rindou: took you a while 
Rindou: but it’s a little late princess.. what’s got you messaging me?
The pet name made your cheeks burn. You didn’t know why, but the thrill of this conversation was making you excited. It was almost like doing such a thing was good for you. After all, it was Rindou Haitani that you were messaging with. He seemed like the kind of man that could get anything he wanted without having to apply force to get it. 
You: i’m just bored and can’t sleep
You: do you want to come over?
Asking that question took a lot of confidence for you to do. You had no idea what he might be thinking right now. He could easily laugh and just block your number right then and there if he wanted to. He made you nervous. The good and bad kind. You hoped that he had something good to say, and you would respect any decision that he came forth with. If that wasn’t his cup of tea, then that was completely okay with you. 
Rindou: mhm sure
Rindou: send me your address i’ll swing by 
Your eyes widened and shock was written all over your features. He actually said yes to you. You couldn’t believe what the hell you were reading at that moment. A huge wave of relief had crashed over you at his reply. You feared that he might make fun of you or joke about it, but he didn’t. This probably was something he was used to very often. He seemed like a ladies man if you were being honest. He probably had tons of women in his bed before.
You wasted no time and sent your address to the man. Little did you know that the text you sent would be the reason that Rindou, not even thirty minutes later, had his cock stuffing inside your tight little hole. 
Your legs had been spread apart and your clothes were all discarded onto the floor near your bed. Rindou was big. He was splitting your pussy apart with his thrusts that you could hardly take him. He was so handsome up above you. His lilac hair clung to his forehead from the beads of sweat that had formed on his skin, and there was a slight dust of pink that swept across his cheeks. He was fucking you so good. It was like scratching an itch inside of your brain. He was so much better than anyone else you had ever been in bed with. God, where the hell had he been your entire life? He was right under your nose the whole time. 
Your hands held onto his broad shoulders, eyes trailing down the tattoo that covered the right side of his body. He was gorgeous to look at. He had such a divine physique underneath his clothes that it turned you on even more seeing him naked. “Ah! Rindou.. fuck.. so good!” your voice was whiny and almost breathless as you spoke. Hearing that tone made Rindou all the more needy to fuck your brains out.
He smirked at the noises you were making. He knew you were probably a goddess in bed, but he never imagined that you would be this beautiful underneath him. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. There was just so much to look at. Your gorgeous face, those pretty tits that were bouncing with every thrust of his hips, the way your cunt sucked in his cock. He couldn’t believe a woman like you was being fucked by him right now. “Yeah.. keep callin’ for me, angel! Say my name..” his fingers curled around the sheets that were beside your bed. They turned painfully white from how hard his grip was on the fabric. 
Neither of you had expected this moment to ever become a reality. It honestly started out casual. Rindou had arrived within about fifteen minutes. It was much quicker than you had expected, but you gladly opened the door and allowed him inside. He was not in his usual suit and tie that he prodded around in at work. Instead, he wore sweatpants the color of charcoal and a loose white t-shirt. He was a lot more friendly and sort of dropped that professional tone he had whenever he saw you. It was kind of like whiplash seeing him cracking jokes and swearing like a damn sailor inside your room, but that nature made the atmosphere less tense. You felt like you could actually speak with him without walking on eggshells. 
Eventually, the funny and light conversations turned much darker and more somber. You sort of cracked. You hesitated so many times, but all of the emotions inside of you had flowed out about Yakashi. Rindou listened intently as you spoke about the many affairs he had behind your back. You ranted and spoke about how he was still doing it now, and how his treatment towards you has only made you angrier with the man. It was surprising to Rindou that you were aware of such a thing, because he ultimately revealed to you that he knew something was up. He knew you weren’t just Yakashi’s date that night, because he had seen a framed photo of you both in his office a while back. It wasn’t until he noticed that photograph disappear and women appearing randomly in his office that he placed the pieces together and realized he was either cheating or single. That first one seemed likely when he saw you walk in with him at the dinner party. 
Rindou felt bad for you. He truly did. You had stayed in a relationship that completely drained you and you feared becoming homeless because of him. He understood that internal fight with wanting to stay, but also knowing that it isn’t right to. You deserved so much better than that. 
He knew it was wrong, but he kissed you. 
For a minute, you were frozen, but you then kissed back when you felt how warm his lips were against your own. Rindou asked if that was something you wanted to do with him, and you hastily said yes to him. You didn’t give a shit about Yakashi anymore and you had honestly moved on a while ago. You knew he did too, so none of it mattered to you anymore. All you desired was Rindou, and that energy was gladly reciprocated. He wanted you just as much as you wanted him. 
Rindou took genuine care of you. He thought of you as fine china that could be broken at any moment. You were delicate and beautiful. You didn’t deserve to be tampered with by some lame excuse of a man who didn’t deserve you. Rindou was going to show you how much he valued you as a person. Cheating on someone was pussy shit. He knew better than to ever do that to someone else. Yakashi could go fuck himself if he believed that he was some great guy. Rindou was about to fuck the shit out of his girl and not think twice about it. 
You were in complete and utter bliss. Rindou had complete control over your body, and he was doing everything to make you wrap around his finger. You stared at him with hazy eyes and just let the pleasure take over you. You completely submitted to him. “Rindou! Rindou! S-Shit..” you arched your back upwards to feel more of his fat cock. He was irresistible right now. In all honesty, you wished you had made a move much sooner if you knew he would be fucking you this great on your shared bed. “So good.. mmph! Need you..” 
Rindou’s hand went to trail up your body. Your skin formed goosebumps at his gentle touch against your skin. His mouth watered at the sight of your hardened nipples. You were such a fucking beauty. He would treat you so much better than that stupid asshole. He didn’t give a shit. He would probably fire Yakashi once the weekend was over. “Fuck.. yeah? You need me, princess?” his hand went to wrap around your throat, squeezing hard enough to restrict air from flowing into your lungs. “Tell me how bad you need me, baby. Need me more than him? More than that lousy dick he was giving you? Fucckkk, baby, I’ll give you it all. Won’t need that fucking asshole after I’m done..” 
You could hardly speak from his hold on your neck. His possessive side turned you on so much. Rindou could feel your walls fluttering around him, and it made him all the more excited. You liked hearing him say such things to you. He would for sure take a note of that. “Rin..dou! Y-Yes!” you managed to gasp through his firm grip. Your eyes showed how desperate you were for the man. 
Rindou’s pace had suddenly picked up. Your pussy was dripping wet. It was making a mess on the blankets that you were lying on. Neither of you paid much mind to that. All you wanted was each other, and you were for sure going to have one another no matter what. Your eyes practically rolled back at the tip of his dick kissing at your g-spot. White stars filled your vision every time he reached that delicious spot. He was finding all the areas that made you dizzy, and all you could do was take it. He was truly good at what he did. He was so much better than Yakashi. He didn’t make you feel that burning desire in your gut that Rindou was creating for you. 
He thought you were one of the most beautiful women he ever laid his eyes upon. When he saw you that night at the dinner party, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. Meanwhile, your shit boyfriend was sitting there beside you not saying a damn word. If it wasn’t so professional, Rindou would have escorted you elsewhere for a drink or even a private walk around the banquet. Your dress was gorgeous and the fact that Yakashi paid zero attention to you made him appalled. You were perfect in every aspect. Someone had to inform you of that, and it was going to be him. 
Rindou abandoned his hold on your throat, allowing oxygen to fill into your lungs and for proper blood flow to return to your brain. Your lips fell slack and those pretty moans of yours echoed off the walls of your bedroom. Hearing his name only encouraged him to go faster and to place you on cloud nine. He took your thighs and put them around his waist, earning a much deeper angle. Rindou already knew he found that nice button inside of you already. Your whines would grow sharper the more he hit it. “So perfect, baby! Love this fuckin’ pussy.. he didn’t know what the hell to do with all of this, yeah?” he then leaned towards the shell of your ear, his breath tickling your skin. “Well I do.. and I’ll never that – fuck! – asshole touch you again!”
You wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing him towards you for a sloppy wet kiss. He swallowed every noise that escaped your throat with such ease. Your nails dug into the flesh of his shoulder blade. He was winding you up so perfectly that all you could even think of was Rindou. It was almost too much to handle. “R-Rindou..!” you broke the kiss, feeling almost too tired to be able to kiss back. “Close.. I’m close..!”
He grinned devilishly at those words. He knew that moment would arrive soon, considering your pussy was closing in around his shaft. Rindou wanted to make you cum so hard that you would only think about him. You needed someone to fuck? You better come and call him up, because he was the only one who could make you feel that way. Your cunt was calling for him the second he took your panties off earlier. “Yeah? Close, princess? Shit, I can feel ya clenchin’ real tight for me..” he smirked. “Gonna make you all mine, no one else’s. Especially not that asshole..” 
The thought of belonging to Rindou turned you on so much. You didn’t oppose the idea whatsoever because you wanted him just as much as he wanted you. He could give you the things you had been lacking for the past few months, and that only made you need him more than ever. “Yes! God, yes! ‘M yours, Rindou!” you cried, looking at him with that fucked out expression he loved so much. 
Rindou placed one of his hands on your hip, holding it quite firmly. He started fucking you at such a relentless pace it almost knocked all of the wind out of your lungs. He hit your g-spot so many times that your vision had become blurry from the repetitive thrusts against it. The knot inside your belly tightened, only drawing you closer to that climax you wanted more than anything. “C’mon, angel, be a good girl and cum around my cock..” he encouraged you. “You got a real man fuckin’ you, baby. Fuck! Would never cheat on you.. I’d give you the – shit – the fuckin’ world, princess.”
Your orgasm then rippled through your body. A loud whine filled the room and your body shook from the intensity of it. You hadn’t cum that hard in a very long time. Rindou smirked when he felt your pussy clamp around his cock. Your walls spasmed and twitched, creating a white ring around his dick from your cum. You were such a good girl. 
Rindou was close to his own high. His cock was twitching inside of your cunt, and there was a pit forming in his belly. You could also tell from the way he grunted that he was almost there. Your mind was foggy, but the desire to have him filling you up was there. You wanted him to claim you as his, and that was the most perfect way to do it. “C-Cum inside me, Rindou..!” your voice was somewhat shaky from the high of your orgasm, but he understood you loud and clear.
You were so fucking nasty, but he loved it. Seeing you begging for his cum to be inside of you only made him more excited to let go. “Want me to cum inside you..? Oh, baby, I’ll do just that..” he groaned, feeling his balls twitch. “Gonna make sure you’re nice and filled.. yeah. He won’t break that pretty little heart of yours anymore. You’re my girl now, baby! ‘M gonna spoil you rotten.. give you more than he ever did..”
A moan slipped from his lips when he finally reached his high. Rindou held your hip with such a tight grip it would probably leave a bruise. His thick cum seeped into your cunt, covering your velvet walls with white. The warmth spread across your belly, earning several shivers from you. He then leaned down, pressing his lips against yours. This kiss wasn’t aggressive or rough, but instead, it was sweet and quite gentle. It made you melt. There was this swell inside your chest when you both made contact with one another. He was the one person you had been searching for. You spent all these months wallowing in your pain and anger, and having this moment made those negative thoughts disappear within an instant. Rindou was truly the person you needed. 
He broke the kiss, pressing his forehead against your own. Both of you were quite exhausted and your bodies were at their limits. Rindou thought you looked so pretty. Your messy hair, glossy but also swollen lips, clouded hues. There was so much to like about you. How the hell did you end up with an asshole like Yakashi? He never deserved any ounce of your time or energy. That needed to change, and Rindou would happily be the person to shift that.
“You’re so beautiful.. I-“
“What the fuck?!”
You and Rindou both turned your heads to look at your bedroom door, which was now wide open. Shock wrote itself on both of your features. You weren’t expecting Yakashi to be standing there. You thought the man would return sometime tomorrow morning like he promised. You would have enough time by then to cover your tracks, but his sudden arrival completely threw you and Rindou off. Neither of you knew what to do or say, so it was somewhat awkward. 
However, Rindou cleared his throat. Yakashi was standing there stunned at what he was seeing. His own boss was lying in bed with you. Rindou glanced towards your boyfriend with a serious expression. “Yakashi..” he shifted around on the bed, allowing you to cover yourself. 
“Rindou..” your boyfriend replied, watching with intense eyes as he stood up.
“You’re fired, I want your shit gone by Monday.”
3K notes · View notes
catscidr · 9 months
Note
Could I request head canons with reader who likes to cook and clean and is basically like a house wife. Dottore and Childe please ☺️
(o゚◇゚)ノ perhaps you can............. i did my best to try to make these not too redundant , so forgive me if they're a little repetitive sometimes. the tldr is just that they love their cute wife (you) shgjngfns ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝ cw: fluff! domestic fluff!! talks of food, mentions of having a family, childe's part gets a teensy bit suggestive includes: fem!reader, dottore and his clones, tartaglia wc: 1,2k
-ˋˏ It’s a popular headcanon that Dottore has a sweet tooth and I’m here to contribute to it bc I’m a firm believer in the Man Bad But Secretly Soft trope.......
-ˋˏ You often find yourself baking desserts for him to eat when he gets home from work and, on the rare occasions that he’s home while you’re baking, you make him taste-test the dessert you’re currently making 
-ˋˏ He’s actually decent at baking (it’s just food science and he’s The Science Guy), however he doesn’t particularly enjoy doing it. But you do! You love doing acts of service for him, which is why you got promoted from housewife to personal-pastry-and-dessert-expert housewife (said endearingly) 
-ˋˏ Good ol’ chocolate chip cookies, maple pudding, red velvet cake, lemon meringue pie, tiramisu, mille-feuille; you'd make so many desserts that he had to buy a chef-grade refrigerator on top of your regular fridge to store them. Not that he minded of course, but sometimes he’d lightly scold you for making so many unhealthy foods (all the while being a hypocrite himself because he’s the one enabling you) 
-ˋˏ Has a mini fridge in his office full of desserts (and the occasional homemade sandwich, for variety). He always has to restock it because his segments always get into it and eat his sweets that you made for him 
-ˋˏ When he tells you about it you end up giving him two extra tupperware containers full of sweets that you insist he gives to his segments, especially the younger ones. If he doesn’t, you’ll just show up to his lab and give your freshly baked desserts to them yourself 
-ˋˏ Sometimes Dottore tries to bake with you, but you always get frustrated that he never makes the desserts look nice. He just takes up space in your shared kitchen when he tries to help; which you tell him that by staying out of your way he’s helping 
-ˋˏ You’re also the designated cook since he doesn’t really have any skills in the kitchen outside of knowing the technical stuff. The man is too busy fiddling with machines and organs to know about how to properly sear a steak 
-ˋˏ His favorite meal of yours is a simple steak paired with a good, dry Malbec. You’re always setting up the table when he gets back from work, to which he always hugs you from the back to greet you. One time you didn’t hear him come in and you accidentally dropped the plate you were holding (you made him eat it as punishment. five second rule) 
-ˋˏ On the rare times he works from home you insist that he doesn’t need to help you with chores, no matter how much he offers (which wasn’t that often to begin with, but at least he offered. like..... once). Instead, he’d get settled on the kitchen table while you wash the dishes, vacuum, etc 
-ˋˏ Some days you’d be in comfortable silence, while on other days you’d listen to him ranting about how irritating his coworkers are, or about how much he wants to fire some of his underlings because they’re “so incompetent”. Thankfully you can calm him down before he,, makes an angry phone call 
-ˋˏ You don’t get the chance to visit him at work that often, so you revel in the times where he’s able to work from home. But since you can’t go see him that often, it means you don’t see his clones either 
 -ˋˏ The older segments would refrain from asking about you (because you’re Prime’s wife, not theirs. he’s yelled at them multiple times about it. bro’s possessive) while the younger ones would consistently bother him about your whereabouts. He insists that he hates it when they ask, but inwardly he imagines how you’d take care of them. (is it to heal his inner child or to imagine how good of a mother you could be? maybe both, but he wouldn’t admit to the former) 
✧✧✧ 
-ˋˏ Childe would have been your housewife if he wasn’t a Harbinger. point blank 
-ˋˏ Buuuut, since he isn’t, he makes sure to take care of you. You’re always cleaning after him, cleaning him sometimes, and overall taking up more tasks than he thought you could (should) chew. Of course, you did it all out of love and didn’t expect him to owe you anything, but he’d feel bad if he didn’t help at least a little bit 
-ˋˏ So once or twice a week (depending on when his schedule allows it) you’ll both be cleaning the house and doing chores together 
-ˋˏ You’re both listening to music while sweeping the floor, reorganizing the pantry, wiping down the counters..... getting as much done as you can before Childe decides he’d rather have you sat up on a counter while he nestles himself closer to you 
-ˋˏ He always buys the best appliances for your sake since you’re the one that’s home most of the time. That one really expensive, cordless vacuum cleaner you saw at the store? He bought it. A duster with a retractable handle that can help you reach the top of shelves without you needing to stand on a chair to clean? Childe bought it before you could even ask. That really cute cherry-shaped deep dish with matching baking utensils you saw at the store together? He’s carrying it to your car right now 
-ˋˏ Though while he does buy really useful things, he balances it out by getting you unnecessary items. Like a frilly pink apron with Kiss the cook embroidered in cursive on it, or a soup ladle that looks like the Loch Ness monster but I digress 
-ˋˏ Childe is 100% a family man- so, as a result, he's thought about having his own family with you. After seeing you indulging Teucer and his siblings’ shenanigans, he absolutely wants to have kids with you and have you do things like read books to them, make them lunch to bring to school, etcetc 
-ˋˏ Loves to come back home from work to you, smelling the fresh aroma of dinner wafting in the air 
-ˋˏ He loves your cooking!! Can’t get enough of it, especially when he comes back from training and he’s all spent. Whether it be your homemade soup, a hearty meaty meal, or a pasta dish he’ll always devour whatever you make 
-ˋˏ You make extra portions of chicken, steak, whatever protein-filled meal when he’s bulking so he can bring leftovers to work to eat them after sparring sessions. It makes everyone else jealous (which is partly his intention lol) 
-ˋˏ Boasts about you to his coworkers and agents below him, always saying “my wife” with a lovesick smile on his face 
-ˋˏ Has a whole bunch of photos of you in his office, ranging from cute candid pictures to professional, framed photos on his desk, and a tasteful polaroid of you in his wallet. Adores showing you off to others (except the photo he has in his wallet, of course. that’s for his eyes only), so much so that sometimes his underlings try to come up with excuses to leave because he goes on and on and on........ what can he say, he loves his cute housewife !!
Tumblr media
272 notes · View notes
redactahoe · 9 months
Text
even more redacted headcanons
i am losing my mind :D
this is just my opinion none of this is canon this is all for shits in giggles and i will infact repeat myself for previous headcanon post srry this is also only somewhat orginized and super unedited
ever person in the shaw pack has/had a crush on darlin
darlin has been voted as the 'hottest person in the pack as well
babe is classically trained in piano and viola and one day dreams to own they're own grand piano don't worry davids rich ass may or may not be planning this as a wedding gift for them
playing off that last point babe hates it when people after finding out they can play, start demanding not asking no demanding them to play something. everytime this happens (which isn't often at least with the shaw pack that is) asher has to physically hold his mate back from violently shoving they're viola bow up the assholes... asshole
instead of hush just waiting at docs apartment for them to come home from work, he would rather creepily sit with his knees to chest in an extra spinney chair in the corner of docs office. like he'll act 'normal' when its just him and doc, but if someone comes in for any reason hell stop talking and just watch them
mentor actually isn't that nice to they're coworkers but when they first saw ollie they were smitten, like ollie is the only person they talked to outside of work stuff. they were not there for water cooler small talk😭but for ollie they would do anything
on that same not i am a firm believer in james spouse being stoned faced with everyone except james and the hand full friends that they have
asset loves listening and asking questions to anton or james talk about their respective spouses
anton has been slowly building up a collection of shiny rocks hes either fond or bought so when he finally gets to go home to his partner and give to them
david is actually besties with babe because their both people who see Asher on a consistent bases and therefore meet up every other week discussing the various type of shenanigans asher gets into
darlin and brights have a bone room in sam and darlin's house.... let me explain, so it is of my firm belief that 90% of the shaw pack is neurodivergent and darlin is not exempt from that. bright also has some vague form of neurodivergent that bright refuses to anyone and this all comminates into both of them coincidently having the same special interests in bones and animals in general. and since sam (according to asher) owns this big ass cabin in the middle of the woods, it was perfect. and bright didnt have the bone room is because they had a small enough collection to keep in their room at sams place. that is until darlin moved and pulled up with their extensive collecting that they've had since the age of 10 and sam was very willing to put one of those 'guest room' nobody uses them bright happen to be there the day darlin and sam were able to get the aforementioned bone collection home form storage and they lost there collective mind with excitement. and sam got watch with this fond and loving twinkle as bright and darlin ramble and trade facts about animals and their bones (and darlin got to teach bright how to properly clean bones it was adorable)(ok ill shut up about this)
angel loves to recreate outfits from many types of videogames and tv show and uses packmembers (read as: tank and asher) as mannequins.
going off that last point(again) david loves listening to angel ramble about they're latest project and intentionally searched and bought a house with alot of big ass closets so angel can hang up all of the finished ones and store all of the stuff they need to make
ftm!guy is rarely ever dysphoric b/c while honey isnt the greatest at expressing their emotions they are incredibly attentive with guy and his needs and wants so this means that honey is always checking in on him. not only that but early on when they were just roommates that one other girl's boyfriend that they were rooming with (i forgot her name) made an off handed/gross comment about guy and honey literally kicked his ass out. like they picked he disgusting ass up and threw him out of the fucking apartment.... guy still laughs about to this day.
i fully believe that the damn polycule does and should include laskos listener (dear) and they can infact dom anyone
all of the de(a)mons can infact purr but gavin and caluem are most open about that fact.
lovely didnt grow up or live the riches life so when they started to dating vincent they had hard time excepting all of Vincent and williams expansive gifts all the while Vincent love langue is gift giving
lovley loves music so much. like its the hyperfixation, anything to do with music and i mean anything lovely could probaly tell you about. and much to willams delight that means he now has someone to talk about music and art from his time peroid (hes over 500 y/o yall) and them knowing exactly what theyre talking about
despite the fact that alot of people will say that lovely is William's fave, its actually untrue. williams favorite is actually darlin, i know i know but stick with me here. i think alot of the clan members to tend to question or disagree with william because hes their king but darlin is very diffrent. i think that once they start attending clan meetings the kinda behave like they're at pack meeting b/c its essentially the same thing. so theyre always asking questions, giving suggestions and even calling william out when he sometimes gets things wrongs. and william loves this, he loves how engaged they are and recognizes that thats just how darlin shows that not only do they care but that theyre listening. hell he'll even tell someone (even if sam has alredy told them the stfu) that trys to rudely interrupt darlin with " YoU SHoUlDnT iNtErRuPt ThE kInG!" to stfu if you dont have anything meaningful to contribute
everyone(excluding like a handful of people) in the both shaw pack and the solaire pack is kinda protective of babe and angel. and its not just because they're both humans its mostly because both of the are humans that treat others as humans. let me explain, so in empowered society ive noticed that vampires and shifter are treated differently form other empowered people. its really supple but anyways both angel an babe see no reason to interact with vampires and shifters any differently from how they would interact with any other person and most of them really appreciate that. people tend to talk to shifters like they're animals of some kind and people tend to act like all vamps have no control over theyre impulses and hunger and when both are asked angel tells the person that no matter what kind of magic got, it doesnt matter. because at the end of the day they all are/were human. with babe youll get similar answer but they'll tack on that its important for everybody to remember that they are people, human of not people are flawed and will make mistake. and trying to pretend that your above/below feelings and flaws is very bad for ones mental health. and thats how alot of older generations of shifter/vamp end up living in the middle of bumfuck no where, borderline insane and very lonely
welp thats it for know
thx for reading sorry if i forget any tags
111 notes · View notes
lucy90712 · 2 months
Note
hey can u write angst with fermin?
I moved to Barcelona a few months ago but I've been so busy that I've barely explored the city my days have consisted of going to classes then going to my internship with a big law firm and then on the weekends I'm also at my internship as I truly want to learn as much as possible about what it's like to be a lawyer. Today however I actually have a day off so I'm going to explore all the tourist attractions in Barcelona and take in the city I now live in. My friends and coworkers have given me recommendations so my schedule is packed today but that's how I like things to be I love being busy. 
The first places I was told to visit was camp nou and the Barcelona training ground so that's where I went. I'm not hugely into football because my ex from a few years ago used to play and we broke up because he wanted to focus on his playing career so I’ve avoided football as not to be reminded of that time. As much as he has put me off football I feel like being here is as good a reason as any to get back into it seeing as the football team is so important to the city. My plan was to just look around as much as I was allowed to but when I arrived at the stadium they were doing tours so I took the opportunity to have a guided tour. The whole place was so cool and they had so many trophies and pictures from history and they had pictures of all the players now most of which I didn't recognise but there was a few that my friends had mentioned to me. 
After the tour I was really hungry as the tour took longer than expected so I found a little cafe nearby to stop at. Luckily it wasn't too busy there was only a few people in there and then one guy came in after me. Once I ordered I looked at the guy who walked in behind me and if I had my drink I would've spit it out because I recognised him straight away as one of the Barcelona players on the wall. I couldn't remember which one he was so I frantically searched Instagram then found out his name was Gavi which is one of the players my friends have mentioned as they think he's hot. I can't lie he's definitely attractive but he's a famous footballer so I'll just admire him from a distance. I was minding my own business until Gavi moved closer to me and started talking to me. 
"Hi I'm Pablo sorry to disturb you it's just you're so beautiful but I don't recognise you have you recently moved here?" He asked 
"Hey I'm y/n I moved here a few months ago but this is my first free day to explore" I said trying not to freak out 
"Well I'm glad you chose to come here can I get your number or your Instagram or something and maybe I can show you around at some point" he said 
I gave him my number and my Instagram and then we both went on our way. 
Fermin's POV 
Gavi came into the locker room with the coffee he always gets us both before training but this time he had a big smile on his face bigger than usual. Something had definitely happened before he got here and if I had to guess I think he met a girl that he likes because he has the same smile as the one other time this happened but sadly things didn't work out with his ex. 
"What happened at the coffee shop did you meet a girl" I teased him 
"I did her name is y/n and god she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen" he said 
That name brought back memories as my ex was named y/n. We dated a few years ago now and I broke up with her because I wanted to focus on football but I can't lie I have missed her a lot over the last few years. One of my biggest regrets is breaking things off with her as she was a lovely girl, smart and beautiful but I imagine she has probably almost forgotten about my existence in the three years we've been broke up. 
"Here's her Instagram isn't she just so beautiful I want to ask her on a date I just need to figure out what she would like" he said showing me his phone 
Instantly I recognised the girl as my y/n. From her posts it's clear that she's moved here for law school and has been working with the biggest law firm in the city which doesn't surprise me at all because she's the smartest person I know. She's also had a major glow up she was gorgeous before but now she might be perfect. I wanted to tell Gavi to back off because she was my ex and I still love her but I can't do that to him or her I can't stop them being happy just because I made a stupid decision. Still I think he should know that we used to date so that I'm not hiding things from him especially if she tells him at some point. 
"Oh I know her from back home we dated for a few months but I broke up with her to focus on football" I admitted 
"Oh I didn't know you had an ex from back home" he said 
"Yeah but it was three years ago so don't worry about it she will have had other boyfriends in the mean time don't let me stop you if you like her" I said trying to sound genuine but it hurt to say 
"Thanks man I'm just hoping she doesn't have a boyfriend right now" he joked 
~~~~~~~~~
3 weeks later 
I've been sat in my car for the last few minutes waiting for Gavi as we are spending the afternoon at my place playing fifa. I saw him approach the car and he had a big smile on his face which he often does but his smile seemed bigger than usual. He sat in the passenger seat still grinning ear to ear which means that something has happened that he's excited about. 
"What's going on with you you never smile that much" I said 
"I went on my first date with y/n last night and it was amazing and she just text me asking if I'm free tomorrow to go on another date" he said 
"That's great man I'm happy for you" I lied 
Secretly I was hoping things wouldn't work out between them and they wouldn't get past the talking stage but that was foolish of me. Y/n is a great girl and impossible not to love and Gavi is a good guy too deep down I knew that they would get along really well but part of me hoped it wouldn't be the case. I want to see Gavi happy but it hurts that it's with the girl I'm still in love with. Don't get me wrong I knew y/n would move on but I thought it would be with someone back home not my teammate and best friend but that's probably what I deserve for breaking up with her for purely selfish reasons knowing it would hurt her. 
For the rest of the day Gavi didn't stop talking about y/n and how well they get on. He showed me pictures from their date and told me all about the messages they sent to each other. All I was listening to was the stories she told him about her life since I last spoke to her. Just like I thought she would she's turned out to be incredibly successful she always wanted to be a lawyer and now she's here studying law with a full scholarship and an internship with the best law firm in the city who have already got a contract ready for her once she passes the exam to be able to practice law. When we were together she was always focused on studying and being the best she could be and she always wanted to do the things she's doing now and I promised I'd be right there with her when she did but instead I'm hearing about it from my best friend instead. 
~~~~~~~~~~
1 year later 
It has been a long season but a successful one ending with winning the league which feels amazing. To celebrate we are all having a team party at Robert's house all the team and their partners are invited as they've been through the stress of the season with us all. The party started an hour ago which is when everyone was supposed to arrive by but Gavi is yet to turn up. A few of us have text him but got no answer so naturally we started to worry but just as Pedri was about to call someone to see if they knew where he was he arrived with y/n. They have been together officially for 10 months now but she never comes to team events as she's often too busy and Gavi says she doesn't like being around loads of new people which I knew already so it doesn't surprise me. She was clearly nervous as she was hiding behind Gavi and I could tell he was squeezing her hand even from a distance. 
"I'm so sorry we're late guys y/n had her graduation this morning and I insisted we go out to lunch with her family to celebrate so it's my fault" gavi explained 
"Congrats y/n" Robert said 
"I thought you had another year left" Pedri said 
"I did but I managed to graduate early as I've done all of my required classes" she explained 
"Thats amazing well done" Pedri said 
The two of them joined the party not leaving each other's side for a while until y/n came to sit down in the only empty seat which happened to be next to me. We've seen each other a few times in the time she's been dating Gavi but not exchanged anything other than a few words. She never seems bothered by me being around its clear that she doesn't have any feelings towards me anymore like I do for her. I wish I could get over her the way she got over me but I can't because I know it's all my fault. 
"Hey congrats on your graduation I always knew you'd be super successful" I said talking to her for the for time since we broke up
"Thank you it's been hard work but completely worth it" she said
"How have you been by the way?" She asked 
"I've been good things have been good with the team I'm enjoying playing at Barcelona" I said avoiding the topic of my love life 
"How about you?" I asked 
"I've been great life has been treating me well I've got a good job lined up and Pablo has been helping me through everything thank you for not being weird about us being together I know you guys are friends and I promise it wasn't my intention to date one of your friends because I'd hate to get between you two" she said 
"It's ok I wouldn't want to get between anything if you guys like each other it's not my place to get in the way of that it's been long enough since we were together it doesn't matter anymore" I said 
"Still I appreciate how cool you've been with it all" she said getting back up to go and find Gavi
I thought talking to her would make me feel better and I could move on and let her and Gavi be happy while I find someone else but that didn't happen. It just made me wish I could be the one to celebrate all of these things with her I would've loved to have been there at her graduation or be one of the people she called about getting the job she wanted but I'm not that person to her anymore. She used call me first when she got grades back on any exam she took and now I don’t even make the list of people to tell at all and that hurts even if it is because of my actions. 
~~~~~~~~~~
A few years later 
The venue was filled with amazing decorations and people there to celebrate the special day the day that should be a happy one for everyone attending but not for me. Today is the day y/n and Gavi get married this date has been planned for months and I've been trying to ignore it hoping it would go away but here we are. Over the last few years their relationship has blossomed I secretly hoped that they wouldn't last but deep down I knew they were meant for each other. They've done everything together and if I wasn't still in love with y/n I'd admire their relationship and how perfect it is but I can't get over my feelings. 
I still remember the day Gavi announced that they were engaged, over our summer break they went away together and he proposed to her on a private beach during the sunrise with a beautiful ring and a bouquet of her favourite flowers. Everyone else was so happy for them but I just sat in the corner of the locker room thinking about how that could've been me and how I let her go. The wedding quickly became the talk of the locker room especially once a date was decided and invites were sent out it was supposed to be a perfect day and so far it has been. 
Soon enough everyone was seated and music began to play as everyone entered the venue at the end of the train y/n walked down the aisle with her dad. She looked like an angel her dress was pretty much moulded to her body and her makeup was just perfect. You could've told me she was a model and I would've beloved you she looked that amazing. She had a big smile on her face as she saw Gavi at the other end of the aisle with tears in his eyes which reminded me that I'm just here as a guest and she's not smiling at me. As the ceremony went on their smiles only got bigger and then it got to the part where they say their vows and there I wasn't a dry eye in the room. Most were crying because of how beautiful the words were but I was crying because I was thinking about what I would've said to her or what she would've said to me if it were us in this situation. 
Once the ceremony was over I had to find somewhere else to go to get myself together I thought I'd be ok and I would be over my feelings by now but I guess I'm not. If only I'd been brave enough to stay with her when I wanted to focus on football this could've been us. She could've moved to Barcelona with me and then she wouldn't have met Gavi that day in the cafe and who knows where we would've been. It doesn't matter what could've been because it's not going to happen it's time to accept that she will never be mine again and be happy for her and Gavi as they start a life together. 
20 notes · View notes
gettothestabbing · 6 months
Text
Relationship Doubts and Venting
For context, I've never had a long-term relationship before. I was technically 'with' a guy for two years, but after 6 dates our first month, I had to move, and so only saw him twice more in person after that. He insisted on EMAIL communcation only. So we essentially made no progress on actually getting to know each other.
So now, I've been with my current boyfriend for 5 months, and have known him for 6. We met on a dating app. We find each other very attractive, we're both conservative and want multiple children, we're both deadset on no sex before marriage, and we get along quite well. I enjoy being around him, and I've introduced him to my church and my coworkers on different occasions, starting from our first month together.
But on our last date, he started asking me questions about how my denomination handles weddings and what I would like my own wedding to be like. I was honest about what I liked, and finished by saying I wasn't ready to be engaged yet. But from things he's said, I have a feeling he's decided that I'm the one and is only waiting until I say something similar back to make it official.
That's so exciting, and flattering, and yet I know I'm not ready for it.
I still have a lot of concerns and unknowns about him. In no particular order, please enjoy all my concerns:
1: I still haven't met any of his family. We almost went bowling with his sister but she had a last-minute scheduling conflict. He's been living with his brother for several years, but he didn't even tell that brother about me yet. He says this brother is just very quiet and that they aren't close. But they've lived together for over 10 years, and my BF drives an hour EACH WAY to see me for every date. Where does the brother think he's going?
2: We never go to his area, partly because my work schedule is much less forgiving than his. This also means I've never seen his bedroom or home, including pictures. I've asked about this more than once, and he kinda dismisses it, saying it's just nicer to be in my area/house.
3: He's eight years older than me. I'm okay with the age gap in theory. In practice, we definitely grew up in very different eras and families. He's one of five kids, and I'm one of two sisters. I think he was harshly disciplined, and he indicated that he would physically discipline any children he has, though he added caveats restricting that discipline to certain behaviors from boys over the age of 15. But it still concerned me, because it wasn't coming from a place of "last resort" so much as from a place of "I got this so he would too."
Similarly, we don't agree on circumcision. His arguments for it consisted of "I was," "it's ugly otherwise," "he'll be bullied if he doesn't get it," and "there are some slight health benefits I think."
4: He was raised Catholic. I don't have an issue with Catholics generally, but I have known of several Catholic-CS couples who did not work out because of the vast denominational differences. I've also been personally warned by more than one CS woman of marrying a Catholic man, because they were prevented in their marriages from practicing their faith by their own Catholic husbands. TBF to my BF, he doesn't seem like he would be this kind of husband, but I don't know for sure because he doesn't seem to understand how different our beliefs actually are?
While my BF says he is looking for a new denomination, he's fundamentally incurious about other denominations, including my own. It seems like he is only looking to leave Catholicism because of political disaffection with Pope Francis and not because of an actual theological disagreement. He did Lent this year same as he ever did. He even admitted to not knowing the difference between Catholic and Protestant beliefs. He thought Peter wrote one of the Gospels (and he went to Catholic schools all his life).
It's just baffling to me that he isn't really interested in learning about different theologies and practices, while still claiming that he IS interested. It's words with no action following. I keep trying to show him stuff about my Bible study or my church. He's gone to a few services with me, but he never wants to talk about the content after. He just says the people there are nice.
Occasionally he makes jokes about wearing cult robes or bringing a goat to sacrifice to my church. This is because CS is often excluded from mainstream interfaith discussions and derided as a cult. Obviously, it's not a cult by any definition. I'm sensitive about this sort of joke, as not only do I truly hate cults like Scientology (for which we are also mistaken a lot unfortunately) and what they do to good people, but I was teased and bullied for my religion several times as a child and teenager.
5: Really, more than anything else, it's the incurious nature that concerns me. I'm not wealthy or an elite or anything, and never will be at my income level. But I do deeply value education, art, and learning. These are the things my family values too. I don't think I can be with someone permanently who doesn't value those things. I don't want to be overly pushy or self-centered either: it's not as if I want someone who only likes the stuff I like. But I don't want to only have small talk forever.
The few times we've had deeper discussions, he ends them as fast as possible, and his statements are rather vague and disconnected. While I wish we did agree on circumcision as an issue, I was more concerned with how poorly he defended his opinion, as well as how dismissive he was of my thoughts. I mean, I guess since I'm not a guy my opinion doesn't matter as much? But my arguments weren't about personal experience, but about empirical evidence and psychological studies. Idk. I regretted that conversation a lot; I got into lawyer-mode and was too blunt. For a few weeks afterward, he seemed like he was upset, but when I asked, he insisted he wasn't and that he didn't care. He also became more vulgar in our conversations after that. I had to ask him to scale it back.
None of these things individually are "dealbreakers". I'm not afraid of compromise and of us being our own people. But we do need to know some big things about each other and come to some important agreements before I would be ready to get engaged to him.
I'm hoping that when he meets my dad and stepmom next week, that will give me further insight. Good kissing and political agreement alone cannot a good marriage make.
21 notes · View notes
izzyspussy · 1 year
Note
You said asks so NO PRESSURE but since you said S1 RoyJamie I now can’t stop trying to imagine it with a more realistic Roy and/or whatever other departures from the zeitgeist you would enact 👀 👀 👀 if you wanted to say anything more about that that would be exciting
Okay so, re: my tags about it being different than everyone else's that you eyeballed like. Maybe I'm just too aromantic for All This, but the biggest reason I usually don't love the season 1 royjamies that are already out there is because I feel like they warm up to each other emotionally and catch feelings and all that way too fast and imho without much actual romancing? Like, they have sex a few times and then they're like okay I was totally wrong you've never done anything wrong in your life. Which like honestly....... boring.
And my second biggest issue is usually more with Jamie's characterization than Roy's! (I mean I do always wish people wouldn't slough off a lot of Roy's anger and other various Problems and all, but that's consistent lmao). But like season 1 fics make Jamie such a woob and a sadsack and take away his agency quite a bit, like all his bad behavior is someone else's fault - and like, okay, to a degree, I GUESS, but like...... idk man him having a reason to act that way doesn't make it less of a choice that he made.
I also think there's way too much emphasis on him being protected and rescued, which like, listen. I love a good romantic rescue as much as the next guy, but it was also something I really loved in the show that Jamie got to defend himself. He got to decide to be fed up, he got to fight back. And!! He always had a belligerent do-your-worst attitude, which he maintained all the way up through season 3 to the end!! I love that about him and I find it lacking in general, but especially in season 1 fics when it should be most present, when Jamie has the most people and reason to be defensive.
Anyway, back to the first thing. I do think that having sex with each other would change their perspectives of each other significantly, but not necessarily toward romance or even friendship. Like, their Feelings develop totally independently of their physical relationship! Besides which, I feel like there's this really interesting stage in any enemies-to-whatever type of relationship, especially when it starts with a (literal) Bang, where they stop seeing each other as The Enemy and start seeing each other as a living, breathing, vulnerable human being who they happen to be enemies with. And I feel like in a lot of enemies-to-whatever things that stage is sorely neglected, and I think it would be an ESPECIALLY interesting - and vital - stage for royjamie.
So if (IF) I ever wrote one myself, it would still start with a literal Bang. They'd impulsively have sex. Not exactly hate sex, because neither of them can really hate someone they're having sex with - but that's the perspective shift isn't it. They can't hate each other anymore, but that doesn't mean they start to like each other or even really care that much about each other.
So anyway, they would sleep together, and they'd both be way different in bed than they thought the other would be. And they're a little bit mean, not quite in a fun sexy way, but not quite enough to be hurtful either. And then they'd do it again a few times, and they'd be vastly humanized to each other. But they'd still be just coworkers with workplace tension who are fucking and also sometimes Jamie stays for dinner just because they both get lonely and it's only polite for whoever lives in the place they're at to offer. They're slightly more than tolerating each other. They're empathizing with each other and being incredibly intimate - off the clock - and it's a bit weird but a bit not weird and they're just going with it because. well. what else are you gonna do.
And then I'd have them stop sleeping together when Jamie gets transferred, without ever moving into that What Are We stage nevermind any further along than that. And then they become friends, semi-long distance. Texting and stuff. Kind of like the fic Waterfalls, which idr but might be gen. But also I'd probably have it even more of a slow burn than that, at least wrt Roy learning about James. Just because like... another thing I feel like happens a lot is that people have Character A find out about James and then suddenly they like Jamie after that and all. And I don't really like that either, I liked that they had all bonded at least a little before That Whole Thing in canon as well, and I'd want to keep that. OR maybe even bump it up a bit, but have them not suddenly be buddies after it. It would be interesting to explore mixed feelings on that front, where maybe Roy feels protective of Jamie and angry on his behalf, but without having a fully formed (if reluctant, at that point in canon) personal relationship with him.
But anyway so. It wouldn't really be enemies-to-lovers. It would be enemies-to-not-quite-strangers-who-fuck-and-are-intimate (I know allos cannot handle this concept, at least when I bring it up as something I want irl lmfao, they just don't get it! but listen. it happens, it can happen, and it can be pretty good too!), then half-hearted-enemies-again-to-friends, and then friends-to-lovers.
And WHO can say what I'd do or not do with Keeley. But I also hate when she gets just completely written out of the dynamic because I feel like that doesn't make a whole lot of sense and also is a bit boring. Even if it's not an OT3 endgame, I still feel like she should be all kinds of up in their business.
43 notes · View notes
heymacy · 5 months
Note
thank you so much for your answer! i actually didn’t expect such a in depth response— it actually made me kind of excited to rewatch the show so that i can give those seasons a try! i watched shameless as it was airing around s3 so it was really hard for me to cope with the idea of watching ian ‘moving on’ and bashing mickey without knowing he would be back etc. but i guess it should be time to face that considering who he gets married to! tho, if it’s okay, i wanted to ask more cause i love to see your take on it! for what ive gathered caleb cheated on ian with a girl saying it ‘didn’t count’, but was he also the one who told ian to try to be with a girl? cause i remember seeing something about it and it really pissed me off that ian even went and ‘tried’, considering s1 was him being very vocal about non being into girls! as for trevor, i did know about the monica ‘get over it’ clip because i always see people comparing it to how mickey has always been supportive no matter what (of course!!!) and also how trevor kind of forced himself on ian. i wanted to know what’s your opinion on those relationships of his, especially trevor cause it seems like it’s been the most controversial one as he spent two seasons around him. it’s funny in a way because the writers didn’t want mickey back but they still made every love interests ian had to be ‘wrong’ and showing everything that mickey would never do! also, this is out of pettiness mostly but considering all those seasons are about his bipolar disorder, does ian ever say that to his partners as a way to break up? or can i have a little of happiness thinking he just really wanted to protect who matters the most *cough* mickey *cough*. again, thank you for taking your time answering my question, i loved reading it!
hello again! more under the cut bc i'm quite chatty :)
first of all, yes, the "it doesn't count" + trying to have sex with a girl thing is true, and it honestly never felt very in-character for me. it was definitely A Choice on behalf of the writers. in fact, he gargles with mouthwash afterwards (or maybe it's vodka, i can't remember) and says "i think i have PTSD", which (of course) is meant to be humorous, but i do think it was a very jarring and confusing experience for him.
ohhhhhhh boy. the trevor of it all. well, let's begin by saying that there's a lot of controversy surrounding trevor. there are some really rancid anti-trevor takes that i don't agree with, primarily the ones rooted in transphobia, which i think is disgusting and abhorrent. i think people are generally either very anti-trevor or pretty neutral on him. i don't think anyone out there is singing his praises, or at least i've never heard a take like that in the time i've been in the fandom. as for me & my opinion, i think he is an incredibly frustrating, pretentious, self-serving character and he irritates me deeply. i think that while he could have been a good friend to ian, he fucked things up by trying to be his boyfriend. they were incompatible from the start and i honestly don't know why they started anything in the first place. like i know why, i just don't understand it. they had no spark. they had no connection. their only commonalities were that they were 1) both gay and 2) into advocating for homeless + at-risk youth. and that's like, it. they had friendly coworker energy, not electric, bone-shattering chemistry. my rating? 0/10 stars. i was very happy when he was written off and ian was left to sort his shit out on his own, unencumbered by a dissatisfying, toxic relationship.
and caleb.......ugh. fucking caleb! i'm surprised he doesn't get vertigo from riding such a high horse. he treated ian like an accessory and consistently put him in uncomfortable situations for no reason other than his own pleasure and/or to manipulate other people. the ONLY good thing he did was lead ian down the EMT path, and that is it. otherwise he was quite literally the worst. imagine cheating on someone and then being like "actually, this is a you issue." alexa, define "cold-blooded" 🙄
to answer your question, ian never credits his bipolar disorder when ending things with any other partner, no. trevor ended because ian ran off with mickey and lied to him about it/cheated on him (though they did spend another season in each other's lives in a really strange capacity, which was an interesting choice by the writers) and caleb ended because he cheated on ian. caleb was a clean break whereas trevor was super messy and drawn-out. but no, he doesn't talk about wanting to protect them from his disorder during their breakups. he tells them both about it early on, is transparent about it, and expresses his concerns about it being a lot to handle, but it isn't credited as the reason for the breakups, no.
i think when it comes to ian protecting mickey from his disorder, it's important for us to view things through an ian-centric lens. why did he do what he did? was it solely to protect mickey, or was it coming from a place of insecurity? a place where he felt like a burden? a place where he felt hopeless and aimless and scared? post-episode and post-diagnosis, it's very common to fall into what i like to call The Pit, which is essentially a shallow bed of self-loathing and the desire to self-isolate away from everyone and everything. we see a lot of that in the end of s5 and the beginning of s6. he's made himself very small, is afraid to do nearly anything for fear of further destruction, and feels incredibly trapped and frightened by his circumstances. all of these factors contribute to his behaviors and choices, including (but not limited to) breaking up with mickey. did he end things because he didn't want mickey to spend his life coping with the realities of loving someone with this disorder? yes. but he did what he did because he was scared. and i think it's really important we make that distinction when talking about and analyzing that storyline.
as always, if there's anything you want to talk about or if you have any other questions you are always welcome in my inbox! i hope you're having a lovely day 💛
10 notes · View notes
nobodysdaydreams · 9 months
Note
Doug Eiffel and/or Milligan for the Headcanon Ask game <3
Thanks Sophie! To thank you for all your wonderful comments on my fics, I will do both:
First: Doug Eiffel
Headcanon A:  realistic
Doing headcanons for Doug is tricky because I haven’t finished the podcast so what’s realistic or not remains to be seen. But I do think it’s realistic to say that if Doug made it back to Ann, and she was open to having a relationship with him as an adult and giving him a second chance, he’d be an amazing dad. He’s be so grateful to be back on earth, wouldn’t relapse, and would be the best dad/grandpa ever.
Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious
I don’t know how Wolf359 ends. Is it too much to hope for Doug getting to yell some catchy pop culture reference catch phrase at Cutter as he’s dragged into the back of a cop car? Like “my how the tables have turned” or something like that, you know since Cutter got him out of prison and now Doug is testifying to put him in prison.
Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends
Despite being the one character in Wolf359 who seems to consistently be able, even under pressure, to stick to his morals and try his best to avoid killing, Doug is never able to view himself as a good person or a person whose life is worth saving. The whole “no one who matters ends up here” is something Doug would never apply to Minkowski or Hera, but he still applies it to himself because of what he did to Ann.
Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.
When Doug makes it back to earth, Hera gets to live with him and be part of his family. I don’t care if you ship them or not, or if it’s a ship or not. I don’t care if you want Hera to be the house, still part of the ship, put in a human-like body, I don’t care. She is family, and she lives with Doug and Ann now.
Second: Milligan
This vary depending on book or show version of the character so I’ll keep it vague.
Headcanon A:  realistic
Milligan would do his best to help the helpers and everyone else who had their memories erased find their long lost loved ones. After being separated from Kate, he wouldn’t want anyone to live with that level of pain. In the show, he’s also do it out of some degree of guilt, since he vaguely remembers working for Curtain and is unsure if he was involved in the brain sweeping or not. Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious
I have a REALLY good one for this. But I don’t want to spoil my own stuff. So I won’t. In my defense, Milligan would 100% do this and the only reason it wouldn’t be in the show is because they just don’t have enough run time for the plot line. Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends
Milligan having to grieve his wife again. He lost her three years before he lost Kate to some sort of illness (we can only speculate). He loses her, loses the memory of her, and then he has to find all her old stuff, see traces of her in Kate, and lose her all over again. Whether you head canon that he was able to move on and have a new relationship or not, either way, he’d have to go through this pain and it would be absolutely awful.
Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.
Show Milligan being friends with Curtain. I might add in my SOS authors note more detail about how realistic I think SOS actually is based on the show, and I do believe based on what they gave us that a storyline involving a backstory Garrison, Curtain, Milligan, and SQ’s birth parents working together was something that they might have planned for future seasons. But I think it’s slightly more likely they were just coworkers and that Milligan got used and stabbed in the back by Garrison and Curtain (who later stabbed each other in the back) rather than the (in my opinion) much better angst parade where they all actually cared about each other once. But a show’s run time can only take us to flashback land so many times, especially when you can’t get actors back and your show is on the verge of cancellation. So I get it.
13 notes · View notes
sapphire-weapon · 9 months
Note
Which topic amuses you the most? (I don't know if amusement is the right word just pick)
-Jill Sandwich
-Leon can't drive
-Leon's parents were affiliated with the Italian mafia
-OG Ashley and Mia Winters hate
-Ship wars
-Wesker being a fucking whore
-Alcina Dimitrescu strangling the internet
-Leon killing Ben Bertolucci with nothing but his goody-two-shoes "erm actually I need to speak to chief irons-"
-Krauser and Wesker both keeping a pic of their young coworkers
-Ada, her "love triangle" consisting of Simmons and Leon, and her playing Perfect Blue with Carla
-Chris and Wesker's bromance
-"NOO AHSLEYS A KID" "NOOO THEYRE SIBLIMGS" (like dude come on she's 20-)
-The "Are you staying to back me up?" (Why does that scene feel so fuzzy to me? Like I can't explain the emotion idk Adas just cute in that scene)
-Chris, Leon and "PLS MARRY MY SISTER-"
-Excella being the biggest Wesker simp
-"Seems like this isn't your first time running from creeps" (Six years of torture caused this man's rizz to drop like holy shit-)
-some aeon shippers being annoying
-getting mass amounts of hate for having an opinion (when you talked about "leshley" in your own blog)
-"Omg Ada and Leon kissed in re2" "omg they fuck in damnation" "omg they 'fight' in re4" "omg he saves her in re6"-
-Deborah Harper....(what even happened with her?)
-Simmons simping for Ada so much he makes a clone of her
-Leon asking Hunnigan out for a date
-That one Leon x merchant vid (If you don't know then I'll try and show you uh)
-Picking fights with a bioweapon baby (Eveline)
-Og Leon being a whore
SOME OF THESE ARE REALLY STRONG
-Wesker being a fucking whore -Krauser and Wesker both keeping a pic of their young coworkers -"Seems like this isn't your first time running from creeps" (Six years of torture caused this man's rizz to drop like holy shit-) -getting mass amounts of hate for having an opinion (when you talked about "leshley" in your own blog) -Leon asking Hunnigan out for a date -Og Leon being a whore
all of these ^^^^ are very strong
like
wesker being a whore is funny because it grosses so many people out, and also he's the most hilariously evil man on the planet, so the thought of him just dragging his dick around is funny.
krauser and wesker keeping a pic of their young subordinates is funny because it is so. goddamn. pathetic. like with wesker it's funny because it's just more evidence of him being a sex fiend, which, like. see above. and with krauser it's funny because he's this huge, imposing, terrifying man, but with the photo it's like "u gonna cry? baby gonna cry? maybe just ask him out already you fucking sad sack of shit."
leon having no rizz is funny because so many fans want to fuck him, so the fact that he can't actually pull off being charming in-universe is just. delicious irony.
the mass amount of hate is funny because... a long story, but like the tl;dr is that there's nothing that anyone in this fandom can do to me that will be worse than that stalker i had who was jealous and butthurt that i was rping leon for a friend's ada, and they carried that hateboner around and harassed me for ten fucking years, so like. if that didn't run me out of the fandom, nothing will.
and leon asking out hunnigan + og leon being a whore is funny for the same reason why it's funny that he has no rizz. i love watching that boy strike out. it brings me an immense amount of joy.
if i had to pick just one, though? probably the photos. i could shitpost about that for hours.
leon being a scrub is a close second, though.
11 notes · View notes
jaggedwolf · 1 year
Text
my biggest problem with ted lasso s3 is that it flinches too early, too often.
to me, that's a cardinal sin. I can forgive a lot when I'm fond of characters - imperfect pacing, lackluster plot, unanswered questions - as long as I believe there's something real there, that there's a willingness to bite into the meat of the story before setting the plates for dessert.
you can't flinch from your own story.
what do I mean by flinching?
let's take nate. s2 takes him on a believable arc. he went from a (bullied) kitman to a coaching position, a job beyond his wildest imagination, but on the inside, he stays insecure. actually, he gets even more insecure. because the thing about nate in s2, right, is that he's oversensitive to the slightest hints of disapproval - like his father's apathy - in a way that makes him desperate for constant approval. and yet even when he gets that approval, it doesn't satisfy him, not completely.
he needs more, wants more, there's an gulf inside that cannot be filled by success. it makes him swing wildly back and forth between "i'm garbage, i'm a piece of shit" and "i'm the best, why the hell does no one appreciate what a genius i am?", makes him externalize his dissatisfaction with himself into cruelty towards will and colin and ted, makes him kiss keeley and then be offended that roy wasn't angry with him.
s3 seems to posit that what nate needed was success and validation. that he could fix that bottomless gulf by being a good coach, and getting a girlfriend, and having his dad tell him that he's smart. and all of that would make him realize he doesn't want to be like cheating rupert and then he's no longer dickhead s2 nate.
except. except none of that makes any sense.
the end of s2 sets us up with nate as west ham's head coach. we've watched multiple seasons of a show that's told us how much power the head coach has in setting the tone for a team, and were given an indication of the type of culture george cartrick encouraged before he was fired.
that season's finale makes you want to ask, geez, how cruel is nate this high on his own supply going to be? and then....s3 basically does not care. s3e1 gives us a token depiction of nate being a dick to his players and his coworkers, and then we never see that behavior from him again.
and I think I could have ultimately been okay with that, even if nate falling into worse behavior before climbing out of the pit would've been more satisfying to me. they could have had me buy that nate as head coach is so high up enough and so distracted by rupert and guilt that he has less outbursts than s2 nate.
but only if s3 didn't have such a warped idea of what it meant to show an improvement in nate. remember: a fundamental part of nate's shit is that for him, his timidity and self-centeredness are two sides of the same dang coin, a hyperobsession of how he's perceived.
you know that whole quote about how if you want to see how a person's like, look at how they treat their inferiors, not their superiors? let me give you a nate shelley version: if you want to tell me he's a much better guy than the one we saw in s2, you have to show me he reacts reasonably to rejection, not just acceptance and praise.
nate in s3 gets what he wants so consistently - he chooses to leave west ham instead of getting sacked, he gets the frickin players asking after him at the restaurant, he gets his dad calling him a genius (??) - that I have no idea if he has improved in that regard. I really don't know. (I also have no idea if he's any less weird about women, between that keeley kiss and defaulting to calling rebecca a shrew)
for contrasting examples in the same show, look at rebecca and jamie, who each made some pretty asshole moves without the show flinching away from it. rebecca's forced to directly confront how she hurt keeley with the paparazzi move, jamie has to prove himself to sam and the rest of the team - they had sympathetic reasons for their assholishness, but that didn't give them a pass.
and I understand the doylist context here. the writers did not anticipate the degree of rage many viewers had towards nate's end-of-s2 actions. maybe that's what led to the flinching away from how messy nate as head coach could really have gotten.
but regardless of the why, they still flinched, and it made nate's story so much the worse for it.
ok I have another complaint about flinching as it pertains to colin's arc this season, but I'll put that under the cut
unlike with nate, I actually enjoyed most of colin's story this season. how he navigates being closeted, tying it in to his visit with dr sharon last season, the night he has with trent in amsterdam, all of that was fairly well done, I thought.
but man, the episode where he comes out to the team? tore my suspension of disbelief to shreds. not the team's overall reaction, bought that, genuinely loved ted's bonkers football fan analogy and that colin feels free enough after to play excellently. the issue is what prompted his coming out.
you see, I watch ted lasso like I watch sports anime. I am not expecting a realistic depiction of male professional athletes and definitely not male professional athletes within a locker room. I don't question all of them crying at you've got mail, or all but one engaging in a pillow fight instead of hooking up in clubs, some of them cheating on wives. that's not the type of show this is, any more than haikyuu being that type of show, for instance. that's chill.
and colin's story arc coming out could very easily co-exist with that.
yet when it's prompted by a fan shouting homophobic slurs, as happens many a time in the actual EPL, and they show the team's reaction to that, they utterly break the illusion. because, to be frank, if this is a world where that's said by fans, just as it is ours, it feels ridiculous to watch an EPL team be horrified by the word. (and to be good about not saying it themselves!)
and also that occurrence implies that isaac and sam and other players (and probably nate, come to think of it) are also getting called all kinds of slurs from the stands, something the episode avoids ever addressing.
like look, I'm not asking to hear "faggot" or "paki" or any other number of slurs on a sitcom, of all things, but it's the show who decided to make this the plot point for that episode. it stands out that when isaac overreacts to the slur because of what he knows about colin, and then he and colin talk, there is an absence of any mention of the (targeted) shit isaac likely hears, especially after taking over as captain. it would've only made the episode stronger, given their friendship, and that colin was clearly frustrated with isaac's reaction during the match after he'd spent so long being ignored and yelled by him.
or, y'know, if they were gonna flinch this hard they could have had colin come out literally any other way lol.
ok i have some other qualms about the season (now that we know rebecca's endgame re: the club i mourn for what a consistent arc towards that could've looked like, and also jamie's dad can fuck off), but those were my two big wtfs this season. where i went, "bro, you're the one who brought this up, why are you running away from it?"
26 notes · View notes
roboyomo · 7 months
Note
YOMOOOOOO hai :] im back 2 enable u again. i Gotta know what th hell is going on btwn yaku and kenix, what is their Deal. what is their Problem(tm). ilove hearing abt Little Beasts adn their Issues igotta know th lore...
JUST SO YOU KNOW I ACTUALLY STARTED HITTING MY LEGS IN EXCITEMENT WHEN I SAW THIS ASK BECAUSE. OHGOD DO THESE TWO HAVE A LOT. BUCKLE UP I AM ABOUT TO EXPLAIN MOST OF THE LORE THESE TWO HAVE (NOT GETTING ABOUT THEM INTO THE NEXT STORY ARC BUT IF YOU WANT TO, I COULD ALWAYS TALK ABOUT THAT AS WELL :33)
RANT ABOUT THESE TWO UNDER THE CUT!!! ALSO WARNING FOR MENTION OF MURDER YEA,,, THERE IS A LOT OF EXPLAINING
So for little bit of context for the future parts of this rant: Sanguis Vitae is almost vital for the Warriors, but their bodies cannot accept it right away as it is still a dangerous thing. So what do they get?? They get their bodies 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘥 to fit their Sanguis Vitae! While the process of reformation is still ongoing, the person is also allowed to change their physical appearance and ONLY during the period of the process, but that only explains how others look either the same as their past selves, similiar or completely different. Wanted to explain that part but the crucial condition of the reforming progress is it is not allowed to be disrupted. Any sort of injury that has occured more than once will be considered a disruption to the progress and the process will be terminated immediately, no longer able to be started again for that person so they will be stuck with the current state of their body. I am telling this because Yaku got that exact situation from the start, therefore his body was completely unable to accept his Sanguis Vitae, leaving his body almost empty and far, just MUCH MORE weaker than his coworkers, so far beyond them in ranks. Who was in fault of causing his reforming progress to be terminated? Just guess. This will make more sense once you read this to the end i swear.
ANYWAYS TIME TO GET TO THESE TWO.
Dear lord, Kenix and Yaku. like my two probably second to third oldest characters,,, and they have a lot to unpack between each other but i will try to make this not too long. First of all, just a bit about Kenix (his curse and backstory specifically!)
Kenix is not from the original timeline as i mentioned, he has never been from there originally and never will be. He is an alternate version of Yi Dal (The real name of both Kenix and the man, who went by the fake name "Ken" amongst his coworkers) from the original timeline, the man who is supposed to be the employee with be Blessing of Time. Kenix pretty much mirrors most of Ken's mannerisms, but still clearly being him, as they are the same person. While Ken had a good childhood, Kenix mirrored his childhood and. just got to grow up in probably one of the worst households. The middle child always left out of the frame, treated like nothing more than a servant by both parents nd the two siblings. He eventually escaped when he was 17, being able to feel freedom for the first time in many many years - only to be somehow tracked down by his siblings and get murdered at the age of 33. Now, I did mention that he is part of the AT crew consisting of 7 members total and that his Deadly Sin is Lust with its own interpretation.
Lust is more like an immoral desire for something, not particularly sexual like the original version of Lust. The desire for something specific that is so deep, the person swallows their own morals to achieve that something specific. For Kenix, due to the unfair and tormenting treatment he got for half of his life before death, he wished to know how it felt like to be a higher-up like the rest of the family even after his death, only for it to be twisted into a desire for power to have his vengeance. With this interpretation of Lust, his mind started to slowly rot in some way over the desire for power, to be higher-up and worshipped like a god. Just like he wanted to, right? But with the process of getting such power and title was taken to extreme levels. Swallowing down his morals, his etiquette and manners, to grasp onto that desired concept of being in power, to feel superior over others just to see how it was for others around him when he was as helpless as them now.
But a crucial condition to the curse is that he must take over the life of that version of him that mirrored everything to his life. The timeline where he was living a much better life, and Ken was the perfect candidate. So it is just "Hello, I am you from another timeline! Unfortunately, you are doing way better than me, therefore i must forcefully replace you in your own body and keep your soul trapped so you will not interrupt me :) Also i will replace your arms with mechanical ones as i favor them more" "excuse me 𝘞𝘏𝘈𝘛."
So that is how now Kenix is actually in the company, it is not like he wants to be here but oh well. Another part for his curse is that he fucking 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘴 part of Nahara's powers to adapt to his own powers of time, dooming the safety of Ortu Lunae by enraging her and making her create laws and policies against Ortu Lunae and its people and ensuring that everyone else in the company is pretty much suffering because of it (fucking HELL cursed kenix why.)
All of this also happened between Yaku's arrival to the company. And a note that Yi Haneul (All three of the siblings - Yi Haneul, Yi Dal and Yi Aera are employeed here and are all very close, so Kenix basically replaced the middle sibling) has just. adopted Yaku (why care that he is 20 years old! Boom, that is now your son, even if you are 37 years old!). This just brings us to the question - 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘒𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘹 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘠𝘢𝘬𝘶 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺??
Since Kenix is biologically the same exact person as Ken, he is still considered Yi Haneul's younger brother and if Yaku is adopted by Haneul, then well fuck Kenix is now his uncle (Haneul, stop adopting your coworkers in their 20s. you have adopted 4 of them already. fucking stop i swear–). Anyways, that is out of the way and finally actually talking about them. (HOORAYYY WE FINALLY GOT ALL THE CONTEXT!!!!!!)
I will just say this here, Kenix is in fault for Yaku's body reforming process being terminated so now Kenix, probably the strongest employee (he has FORMED HIMSELF INTO AN ACTUAL FUCKING GOD OF TIME WHAT IS HE DOINGGG) in the company, is stuck with this boyfailure who is struggling to get at the same level as his coworkers. But it is obvious that Kenix's curse is not letting all of this go well. It does not only make him hungry for power, but also hungry for others' misfortune. It feeds off others' misery and pretty much only causes Kenix to go even more insane for his desire. One of the only choices Kenix had to somewhat suppress the process of losing his sanity is to give in, stop resisting, 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮. It did mean that Kenix never got to experience empathy for others, he is never able to feel regret over these actions of his - the poor attempts of resisting it all did not result in anything. He has long accepted that he may never go back to what he was before, reduced to nothing but a merciless, cruel god. Being guided by what is left of his mind now, Yaku is now just but a guinea pig of some sorts. Kenix has repeatedly hurt him and reverted back all the injuries, just tormenting him verbally and physically. To the point of making Yaku cling to Kenix's words of validation. There has not been a instance where Yaku managed to handle someone reassuring him his worth without breaking down into years, yet Yaku still holds hope.
The hope that Kenix can change, and he still holds understandment for Kenix and his past (even though he has only the small pieces of the story). That is what baffles cursed Kenix the most. Yaku, who is just being tormented by Kenix, the same way it was for Kenix during his life before death, is still able to forgive him for his actions and attempt to see the best in him. Yaku did not have a better childhood either, having pressure put onto him, making him act so much more maturely at only 10 years of age as a way to "compensate" for whatever Yaku did (it was the fact that Yaku was born at all. i swear almost no one here had a good childhood). But he still had hopes for the world, unlike Kenix who has only been nothing but hatred to everyone because if they are so great, where were they when he needed their help? Their comfort? Those same words of validation, that he needed to get through it all?
Kenix had tried to create a facade. He, who has no problems, no regrets, no sorrow, with his past discarsed - only he who focuses solely on himself and his desire. But he cannot keep it up, it can, shall, and will fall through the cracks and show how much he is struggling to avoid the inevitable. He is aware that once he will finally go fully insane and let the curse fully take over what is left of his mind, there will be nothing even remotely recognizable of what he was as a person and there will be nothing that others can do about it.
It is not like he can keep up the look of being normal to his standards, continuing to last as he drowns himself in his problems until he reaches insanity and everything comes crashing down. And Yaku always notices it. Growing up in a complicated household where he was denied having a normal childhood, Yaku has a way of noticing a lot of details about others to memorize their patterns. He wants to believe that Kenix could become a better person, and he keeps on trying to make their relationship better
And Kenix hated that someone has this much hope that he can be helped. He doesn't want to be loved this way, because he doesn't believe himself that he will ever get better. In Kenix's relationship with the AT crew, they all are on the same level to him. They all have committed sins that have brought them here, gathered together in a circle of what they all just perceive as 'Hell'. They show appreciation for each other, acknowledging that they are sinners and will never get better. They learn to live where they accept that they are bad people (well, maybe except for Artemis, she is just a kid who denies change and the future, not like a fucked up person like Kenix) and there is nothing they can do about it. Just letting sorrow drown them until they reach their end with insanity right beside them and disappear into nothingness to be forgotten.
Their dynamic is like "I have hurt you, and i will hurt you again. I am a bad person so you should not try to fix me. Leave me be" "I know you have it hard, so i want to help you because i believe that there is still a happy end for you." "How dare you try to show me love and appreciation. Get hit with the thing and stop trying to be kind to me". Kenix even had Yaku be a lab rat for an experiment whether Yaku's body was able to accept the Sanguis Vitae of Time, despite his body never even finishing reforming halfway through. (Which was the reason for Yaku's resurrection in the halfway through the story and that. accidentally merged the powers of Thunder and Time for Yaku which was just forced on him IT IS CONFUSING RIGHT NOW WITHOUT CONTEXT OKAY). Even despite all of that, Yaku still holds hope, the belief that everyone can become a better person even if they think that they are beyond saving. He wants to believe that they all can, why wouldn't they be able to? It is all a possibility, no matter if there is a non-zero or a huge chance. He wants to help everyone catch that possibility and change their path, change their future by changing the present. Yaku still has no confidence in that he is worth loving, that he is worth being paid attention to, but he still holds the hope, the wish that everything will be better for everyone - and that is what pushes him to go forward.
In short, Yaku will not be giving up on Kenix any time soon, he will continue to attempt and help him. Afterall, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺, and Kenix fucking hates that he keeps trying it.
5 notes · View notes
fairykukla · 6 months
Text
Capitalism rant.
I work in niche retail. My toxic boss actually passed away suddenly earlier this year. And while this has cleared away some of the problems I've been having with my job,bits also revealing some of the other problems in play.
My department has been short staffed for years now. One person retired during Covid, another got a cancer diagnosis and semi-retired. They were both full time people.
We have one new hire. She works two or three days a week, and no more than that.
We had another new person, but her personal life interfered with her availability so she left.
So we lost two full time people, and gained back one very part time person.
And the owner sees that we are functional, and doesn't want to hire anyone else. But if someone has to call in sick, or plan a vacation, we can't cover the floor.
A member of the staff in the rest of the store asked for cross training and agreed to work part time for my department. I'm a big fan of this, but because of my toxic manager literally nobody wanted to work for her.
So we had a new person, someone who only needed training on our department duties and our specific product line.
And I was *warned* about her by the other coworkers on the other side. When I asked for clarification I was told that she's ambitious. She wants to be a manager someday. She thinks she's better than everyone.
And I was like, "So what?" She either is an incompetent person with delusions of grandeur, or she's actually a hard worker who cares about how things are run. If she was incompetent, she wouldn't have been given this opportunity.
So the rest of my department became hostile to her, and tried to push her out.
I wanted her here. I was delighted to train her. I wanted to harness her desire to learn. And one day, we might need someone who is ambitious enough to be a retail manager, which is a horrible, thankless job that I don't want, despite my seniority.
Was she my new best friend? No. Not even remotely. Did I want her to continue to work for us? Absolutely.
So I was discussing it with the lady who makes the schedule, and she said, "Well, her availability wasn't what we needed."
So I asked for what qualities we needed. I said that we need another full time person.
"Well, we need someone that *could* work any of the days that we are open. Someone we can use to plug the holes in the schedule. Someone who doesn't want to work five days every week, but could work five days if we needed them at random moments."
And I laughed. I told her that she's describing a person that doesn't exist. Someone who doesn't need a consistent paycheck, but is willing to work up to 5 days a week? For just above minimum wage?
Anyone available for 5 days sometimes probably needs the five days all the time. Anyone who is content with working 1-3 days a week is either only available part time due to another job, or has a full calendar of non work things.
And I'm doing 3 people's worth of work, because they can't find their perfect candidate?
5 notes · View notes
izzy-b-hands · 5 months
Note
12, 15, 34, 46?
Ella!! Thank u for asking 🫂🫂❤️❤️
(also apologies i am stoned and wordy aksndkfgn)
12. Your favourite book
I have a few answers for this one, but narrowed it down to the one I'm saving up to buy a new copy of eventually: Last Night at the Lobster by Stewart O'Nan.
It's fairly short, and the story subjects/setting are modern and mundane (or at least that's the critique i see leveled at it a lot, tho to me like. That's part of the punch of the entire book, but they can have their opinions, incorrect tho they may be lol), but like. the first time i read it, it just Did Something to me lmao. Part of it was the customer service experience thing, tho different industries (library at the time for me compared to restaurant in the book), and the experience in it of feeling like/having it confirmed that you, as an employee, are continually being handed more and more stress and responsibility for less reward, but you can't just drop it bc you like/tolerate your coworkers, and even on the days they piss you off, you want the best for them. And then the fallout of when a decision comes down from above your level that's shit for everyone, but you're left bearing the brunt of it from coworkers and customers alike. Very relatable, very realistically written to the point it almost makes you squirm.
The characters are all well written and realistic too; you wind up feeling like you could walk into this Lobster right now and talk to all these ppl irl, easily. That makes it just as hard at the ending to say goodbye tbh, and that's given it massive reread value for me (i think since i first read it end of HS I've since managed a reread every year to every other year. I actually accidentally packed away my copy when moving and it's been killing me not being able to do a reread rn, but i want to wait until i can have my own copy to keep again.)
Anyway i think most libraries should have it, and it's not a horribly expensive ebook, so if ur looking for a sign to read Last Night at the Lobster, this is it 🙌❤️🦞
15. Do you remember your last dream
Kind of? Tbh I passed out really hard earlier (still not sleeping amazingly with the back lol) and vaguely recall the weird, fever dreamish stuff my brain was throwing at me. That consisted of what i believe to be, ongoing all at once in the same room:
-a Tom Waits concert, with him holding but not playing an accordion
-a Bob Geldof interview, except it was Bob as he looked in the 90s
-a fire, which everyone who wasn't listening to Tom or Bob were attempting to put out by passing exactly one bucket back and forth to the inexplicable bar sink that sort of appeared and disappeared at will
Everything else was too much of a blur, but those bits really stuck out lmao 😂
34. Something old
I like this question, weirdly enough, bc I'm not one hundred percent sure how to answer it. It's vague, so i think I'm safe to interpret it kinda.. however?
(if i have that wrong tho do pls lemme know, I won't be offended and will re-answer this one if that's the case lol)
In terms of something old, I keep thinking abt my grandparents old house, even tho it's silly to do so (the thing has been sold for months now.)
Thing of it is, as of the last rare phone convo i had with my grandparents, it sounds like they really regret selling. The lack of stairs at the new place is better for their joints but like. They clearly miss the old one, the unique things that made it theirs and familiar.
Grandpa in particular mentioned a few things specific to the house that he misses, but the one that took me out was abt a bit of painted wood in the front doorway. When i was like. 6? 7? old enough to know better but still stupid enough to do it, i wrote my (dead) name on that bit of doorway, in pencil. For whatever reason, they couldn't ever get it to erase much at all, and never painted over it despite talking abt it a lot (they were soooo pissed at me the day i did it and the months after lmao), so it was still there when they sold the house.
And Grandpa tells me he wishes he would have bought some wood scraps, torn out just that bit of the doorway, and then fixed it and repainted it. Says he would have had someone reframe the whole door if needed. He even has a little shelf where he's been putting grandkid related knick knacks, that he'd put it on, apparently.
Couldn't tell him bc emotions and being that vulnerable are difficult for him, so i never want to push when he's opening up to me like that, but goddamn if he didn't make me cry with that, and i wanted to tell him how sweet it was, and that i miss the house too.
I miss that whenever Housemate and i make it back to visit ND, i won't be able to show aer the house i basically grew up in. I won't be able to show off the shed my grandpa built, say hi to Sally (mum's passed on cat from years ago, buried in the backyard with her name carved by grandpa into the wood barrier between the rock/gravel area and the bottom of the shed), lay in the backyard together under the huge tree while we snack and sip drinks (bc grandma doesn't let anyone leave the house without being fed if she can help it.) I won't get to show that spot by the front door, or show all the other million little quirky things that made the house so lovely.
If i have my way, age of the house and my own age at the time be damned, whenever I've made enough money to do it and have plenty left over, I'd love to buy the house myself. Not to live in all the time (jfc absolutely NOT i love the house but not ND lol), but to have for like. Maybe summer trips? there's enough room we could pick up friends in the area and have them come stay in the house too, tbh. I don't like the idea of it sitting empty whenever i wouldn't be there, so maybe I'd offer it to the cousins rent free to share? Take turns staying there, maybe help grandma and grandpa back to see it now and again. Idk. I just always dreamed of buying the dang thing, even if i never wanted to permanently stay in ND (and still v much do not want that, I like CT far better.)
46. Are you excited for anything
A few things rn! Housemate helped me save up enough and is going with me to see Avatar this month, and it'll be my first full show of theirs, and Housemate's first time seeing them at all!! (my first time seeing them they were just opening for Trivium lmao, so it was amazing!! but a bit of a cut down set list/overall thing, u know? didn't stay for Trivium's entire set but they were lovely too!)
We've also got several little weekend trips partially planned out: Mystic, a local flea market, a couple different beaches, getting up to York and over to Newport, plus maybe the big E and the ren faire in the fall!! I don't know if we'll manage all of it over the next few months, but I'm excited for whatever we get to!
Apologies I'm quite toasty so I'm feeling overwhelming positive for once, so i do have more! I sent a job app in to an OD office in the local costco, for a fairly chill seeming reception role, and I'm really hoping they'll want me. It seems a small enough office to be calmer than my old one, and that it's OD only and not an MD/OD office makes me feel a lot better abt it too (eye surgeons are amazing, they can do amazing wonderful things, i am grateful for them all. however. im also 97% sure 5 out of the 10 i know personally could hit me with their car and not blink, the god complex thing some surgeons have gets SO amped with this speciality in my experience, it's WILD, but I digress.)
My back is slowly getting better too (tho I've been humbled again the last few days in the nights and early mornings, it's still very angry at those times), so I'm also just looking forward to like. Being able to move more again. Standing up to do the dishes without my back spasming. Maybe even leaving the house again and doing one of the fun things noted above, tho i know i shouldn't rush it or my back will humble me again without a second thought lmaoooo 😅)
3 notes · View notes
alto-tenure · 2 years
Text
Was Claire a willing test subject? Yes, and in this essay I will...
I’ve had this essay topic on my mind for a while, but now I’m finally doing the research for it. This will take a look at Claire’s role in the time machine explosion, and how much of her being a test subject was her choice and how much of it was manipulation.
The conventional narrative, as perpetuated by Dimitri, is that Claire was manipulated by Bill Hawks to go into the time machine, and was an unwilling test subject. This is often taken as the truth of it all, and an extra reason to hate Bill Hawks. Bill Hawks is an easy person to hate, after all, for just making money he got from the deaths of many people in the explosion.
But I think it’s more complicated than “Claire was entirely unwilling and was just too nice to say no to her coworker” or “Claire was being manipulated/lied to by Bill”. So this is an examination of Claire’s dialogue when she talks about the time machine, to attempt to study exactly how much she consented and how much she knew about the time machine.
Here goes.
Quick disclaimer -- I have the American version of this game, so it’s the American dialogue used. I don’t know how different the EU versions of these parts are, and that’s an interesting topic, but this is based on the US version.
Let’s start with the cutscene right before the explosion, shall we?
Tumblr media
[Image ID: Cutscene screenshot. Claire is in the process of grabbing her coat. The caption reads “We’re running a very important experiment today.” /end ID]
Claire, first of all, was actually aware of the experiment. This is, as opposed to Dimitri, who wasn’t aware that the experiment was happening, saying the following: “By the time I realized Bill planned to go ahead with the experiment, it was too late to stop him.”
(Side note: I think it’s hilarious that both Claire and Dimitri ended up “running late”, in a manner of sorts -- Claire was running late when she left Layton, and Dimitri was also late to the lab.)
The implication of this is that one and/or both of them decided on purpose to not tell Dimitri that they planned on going ahead with the test. After all, Dimitri had expressed apprehension beforehand about going ahead with the test, saying it was too dangerous.
Claire and Dimitri are implied to be fairly close -- they have similar haircuts (which is definitely a purposeful character design choice). Bill has a “distance” of sorts from the two of them; Claire in the future never really talks to him [citation needed]. If Claire had similar apprehensions, she probably wouldn’t have kept the fact that they were going ahead with the experiment a secret from him -- she knew it was important to keep it a secret from him, because he would have attempted to dissuade her from going in. The key takeaway from this is that in spite of any implied closeness between them, she didn’t tell him that the test was going forward. She didn’t want to be dissuaded.
Claire says when she persuades Layton to turn back that “[Clive] isn’t the only one to blame”. Layton just nods. She’s referring to herself in this line as someone else to blame for all this, but Layton believes she’s referring to Bill, or even perhaps Dimitri -- he later alludes to blaming him for what Clive did by saying that Clive was a “victim of a political agenda for progress, no matter the cost”. Remember that Layton had no idea that Claire was/is Celeste when she said that; he had no context for any deeper meaning.
However, we’re going to focus on how she blames herself.
Tumblr media
[Image ID: Claire (as Celeste) and Clive’s sprites on-screen inside of the mobile fortress. “Celeste” is saying “After all, so much of this tragedy was caused by the mistakes we scientists made.” /end ID]
She is part of the scientists that made the mistake. She is part of the “we”. She blames herself for what went wrong. She was responsible for the construction of the machine, and she was part of what drove its destruction. This is how Claire consistently frames it; all of them bear some level of blame for the destruction of London. I don’t think she would be as willing to blame herself if she weren’t willing to be the test subject.
Tumblr media
[Image ID: A textbox in front of an image of Dimitri Allen examining some data. Claire is saying the dialogue, which reads “There’s no telling what chaos we’d release upon the world if we tried to save the dead from their fate.” /end ID]
One of the threads that runs through the ending of this game is that Claire is resigned to her fate. She’s always known it was going to end like this, with her saying goodbye and going back so that she can die. She is the epitome of “doomed by the narrative”, and she knows it, and she hasn’t deemed it worth fighting. It’s an inevitability. After all, she feels guilty for the destruction that she believes she helped to cause.
Tumblr media
[Image ID: Same as previous, but the dialogue now says “What Dimitri, Bill, and I did 10 years ago broke the laws of nature. And now we must pay.” /end ID]
She doesn’t hesitate to implicate herself for the destruction. She is and always has been a part of this. She was responsible for the construction of the machine -- and she was responsible for its usage.
Claire never brings up the part where Bill took corporate funding from the time machine, so we’ll never know her thoughts on that specifically -- all we know is that she believes all three of them responsible, and is willing to hold herself accountable by refusing to fight her fate.
So, after examining what Claire has to say about the explosion, what can we conclude?
Claire was most likely willing to test the time machine. She is willing to take part of the blame for the explosion and the devastation caused by it as part of the crew that constructed the time machine. She was almost certainly not coerced. Whether she knew about the corporate funding or not is a toss-up -- it’s more likely she was motivated by scientific discovery than by greed -- but it doesn’t change the fact that she was not completely coerced into it. There’s room for nuance here -- there could have been some manipulation involved with her that’s caused her to believe she was completely willing, but she definitely wasn’t outright coerced, and I think people (cough Dimitri cough) tend to underestimate the amount of agency and control Claire had over the situation.
Is Bill Hawks enough of a bastard to have gone ahead with the experiment, even if Claire hadn’t consented to being used as the subject? Sure. Do I think that was the situation? Absolutely not.
47 notes · View notes