#but that’s a personal opinion I also just think they’re super fucking annoying because most of the time…

[elitespacefreak]

Sometimes I’ll read through someone’s dni list and think to myself “who tf is left to interact with you??” Like the purity culture is strong with this one.

[cladestruction]

PART I of my super long aotd thoughts (and prayers) commentary/analysis extravanganza🤪

warning: spoilers. repetition of words/expressions hehe. badly written (english is not my first language lol). looong text. biased opinions because this is my blog and i get to do with it as i please.

Press conference and failed plan: i love how there’s practically no time jump in the beginning, i find it both dynamic and realistic. as the world’s most famous band/people, they’re always right at the center of attention, even more after such major events like the ones in dsr, so the press conference is great: is sudden and painful to watch, it’s awkward as the boys try to answer the clearly triggering questions in their usual laid-back, disinterested manner, and barely succeed in doing so. also, this scene establishes three elements that i’m so grateful for: 1. Toki is safe with them again but still visibly fucked up, 2. the boys Don’t Remember what happened after they found Toki (the dethlights and stuff), 3. Nathan is the exception, he remembers but doesn’t quite understand wtf happened, and it haunts him. i love how Magnus is talked about in this movie and this scene, the public and the press don’t have much information about him and the band (i guess?) so calling it a tragedy is practically the easiest way to label it, but the reality is waaay deeper, and the fact that this comes back later on? i love it. i also like that the band’s plan announcement shows exactly what i wanted personally: how much Charles' guidance is missing. the boys are erratic and messy, and considering their actual behavior throughout the show it’s actually very rational for stars like them to want to jump right into action. bc it’s their job, their passion, and there’s pressure on them to do something: either talk about what happened, acknowledge their trauma and heal, or get to work and give people music so they can shut up and stop asking questions the boys are not prepared to answer. the tour fails before it begins and it’s great. the fact that Nathan only gets exhausted right after announcing they were back and ready to kick ass adds so much weight and drama, i love it. here we get a beautiful, stunning, amazing sequence with great voiceover and visuals. 10/10 i love the black/white/red sequence with Nathan’s silhouette falling and falling and a bunch of menacing shadows haunting him while the deththeme plays on the background. Masterpiece me thinks.

Crozier: the voiceover is AMAZING (i always loved his voice tbh). Crozier was kind of an annoying character to me throughout the series. he’s the typical american military authority and i’m not a fan, but i have to say i was very excited to see him get more depth in just one scene! i couldn’t help but feel for the guy as he failed to deliver what could’ve been his last words. it feels desolating to see him once again be left in the hands of these mysterious and shady people who are constantly preying on him. this sequence also gives much insight to the Tribunal, which is great to make the audience feel more on edge with their plan and see Salacia as a threat. the song of salvation is mentioned, the metalocalypse, Charles and the Army of the Doomstar. it’s great exposition without taking too much screen time. big fan of scenes like that.

The Church: what can i say, i love the (found) family dynamic. it’s always been there on the show, but this movie really took it to a whole new level and i’m living for it. Ishnifus’ funeral is a great detail. my man did nothing wrong in his short appearance on the finale of the show+dsr, and as a high priest, it feels only right to remember him and pay respects even if it’s for such a short scene. moving on, Toki with headphones is so important to me. he seems a bit recovered but it’s obvious something changed in the band’s behavior toward him. it seems it’s already normal for them to look out for the youngest and tend to him without as many reservations as they once would’ve shown, at least Pickles looks very used to it, even if it’s also clearly a lot of responsibility and he most likely has to deal with by himself (Murderface doesn’t really help and Skwisgaar is very cold and kept to himself. even if he complies with Pickles’ orders, he seems painfully closed off, and Nathan might actually be of help when present, considering Toki wanting to go to the bathroom with him and hinting that this is something they do now. but Nathan is not very present so yup, that’s that). moving on, Charles is…different. he was always calculated and cold but i kinda feel bad for Pickles (and Nathan later on) when they talk to him. Charles uses very mystical(?) language now and talks to the boys in a mysterious and ominous tone, it feels very impersonal, but it’s so good story-wise that i just can’t complain. Pickles’ reaction to Charles telling him that his role in saving the world is just: to be a friend to Nathan is AMAZING. Pickles is clearly nervous and expectant (it’s the end of the world, after all) but then he just asks “that’s all?” and it’s literally the BEST thing he could’ve said. he already IS a friend to Nathan, he has been so for years, even when things had already gotten ugly, so what more should he do? is it not enough? would he even be able to be such a good friend to Nathan if the frontman is being so closed off? the honesty in Pickles’ doubt is great and i love him so so much. moving on, that Edgar exchange with a very dozed-up Nathan almost made me cry. Edgar’s face when Nathan brushes him off is ugh, my heart hurt so so bad for him :( i’m sooo happy this wasn’t his last appearance and final interaction with Nathan. moving on, Nathan and Charles speak and it’s pure exposition, but i like it bc, again, is made clear and dynamic. i reiterate my point about Charles being too ominous-y (?) in his way of talking, making an already exhausted Nathan even more tired and overwhelmed. it feels even a bit out of touch and cruel of Charles to do this but, again, it fits just perfectly in the narrative so i like it.

The fucking PROPOSAL!!!: oh god, ok. i love Abigail, believe me. i remember being so desperate to see a female character appear on the show for more than 1 episode and not be killed off immediately that i screamed when Abigail came around. seeing her again in this movie, alive and well and receiving help really augmented my lifespan. that said, i am happy this is The Abigail Scene of the movie. she’s shown strong, confident, and most importantly, wise. she couldn’t say yes to Nathan, that’d be absurd, but she declined very elegantly. and though Nathan was already going through a lot, she was clear, direct and honest, while expressing respect towards him as a man and towards his feelings for her (though confused and not very well-founded, were honest). she wasn’t cruel but she also didn’t sugarcoat the stuff that Nathan Needed to hear. especially considering how he was acting, how uncharacteristic and weird he was behaving. and no, i won’t say “oh Nathan Explosion would NEVER get on his knees and beg” bc we all know that’s not true lol, but it was very erratic behavior, desperate and needy for all the wrong reasons, and please let’s again remember how much xanax/red wine/coffee this man had on his system !!! and oh, don’t even get me started on how important it was for Abigail to clear up how her kissing Nathan at the end of dsr was an act of shock and thrill of what they just went through. they barely knew each other but Nathan still went and saved her, and while Nathan was just out of all the fucked up shit that happened in dsr‘s last act, she kissed him. they almost dies, and in such extreme conditions they did what they did and that’s ok. but to think there would be more after that was, well, kind of an illusion. and that’s sad but true. in summary, Abigail is a queen and i love her with my whole heart and lungs. if you ask me, i’d love to have seen her more and i actually think her and Nathan could’ve worked out if things were different, or maybe they could be great friends. but for the short scene she got, i think she was great. Nathan breaking up with the fans right after is such a good scene too. he’s lashing out and it makes perfect sense for him to do so. and tbh i will go and say it: he wasn’t wrong in what he said. yes the fans are always there to support the band (i’ll talk more about this in the ending) but they also are constantly setting expectations. the fact that they’ll go and celebrate 99.5% of whatever the band does, the constant fear of losing them is still there, and for Nathan it’s infuriating bc it might get difficult for him to believe that these people will love everything he does, especially bc he, in this moment of his life, doesn’t feel loved.

last part of the church scene: Rockzo. i’m glad his scene was short, i dislike him and don’t enjoy him at all, but i will admit that after witnessing such a painful heartbreak/horrendous proposal, hearing Rockzo start singing Amazing Grace made me laugh very hard. great comedic timing, i liked it.

Dethklok tries to cheer up Nathan: i talked about this before, when they released the teaser clip and all. when i saw that with no context i did feel like Pickles was acting especially concerned toward Nathan here, and he even sounded a bit needy. now that i know it’s because of what Charles told him, it makes so much sense. he feels almost obliged to support and even comfort Nathan in ways that he hadn’t done before, but of course it is! the world is at stake! he is trying his best and he even goes against what he thinks, shown by how he actually doesn't appreciate Nathan treating them like crap and calling them “fuckbags” and “jackshit”. i love how those little details build up tension between them.

[lesbiancassius]

Hey June! I was wondering, what medias/books would you recommend for a person wanting to get into the ancient greek classics? The Iliad/Odyssey/Aeneid stories fascinate me, but as there are so many versions and translations and retellings, I don't really know where to start. How did you get into them?

hey anon! I feel mildly underqualified to answer this as I actually haven’t read the Iliad or Odyssey or all of the Aeneid but I will do my best (i’m working on it! promise! iliad is up next and i’m gonna read it and i’m gonna go crazyinsane)

firstly you should totally read the original texts. remember that they aren’t The One True Story, they’re just written-down versions of wobbly cultural stories that change from person to person. and you don’t have to read them before reading retellings or adaptation but it’s good to read them fairly close together. just read what you wanna read. the bit of the Aeneid I read was translated by Robert Fagles, and I’ve heard Emily Wilson’s Odyssey is good. my friend Theo @fifthlydoyoudream recommends E. V. Rieu’s Argonautica translation, if you wanna read that. poetry in translation has decent translations of most plays i’ve tried to find, and that’s nice because it’s online and super accessible.

the way I first got into the greek classics was reading Anne Carson’s An Oresteia, which is Agamemnon, Elektra, and Orestes. it’s a really great intro because Anne Carson’s translations are just fantastic & it’s one play from each of the three big greek tragedy-writers & it’s a pretty well-contained story so you don’t need much context - you could read Iphigenia at Aulis first but that’s not really necessary. (confusingly there is also The Oresteia, which is different). if you can find an Anne Carson translation of a play you should totally read that one. that’s my rule of thumb. I always recommend Antigone too - it’s also fairly self-contained and it makes me crazyinsane. Anne Carson has two translations, they’re both good - Antigonick is better if you have a little context beforehand in my opinion. also Oedipus the King/Oedipus Rex is good.

tbh what i recommend is just following characters or stories that you like and seeing where that gets you. like i’m having a pretty intense house of atreus moment atm but i still barely know who penelope is because i haven’t read the odyssey. who is penthesilea? still do not know. but don’t get overwhelmed by the amount of stuff out there!! it can be a little scary but wikipedia is your friend and also you do not have to know everything.

and some adaptations/retellings:

Lavinia by Ursula K. le Guin is an adaptation/retelling of the Aeneid from Lavinia’s point of view and it is very very good.

Luis Alfaro’s Greek Trilogy are play adaptations of Oedipus Rex, Elektra, and Medea set in modern-day LA with a Latino cast and it is so fucking good it makes me want to bite glass and explode. you can find oedipus el rey by googling but the other ones might be a bit more annoying to find

Iphigenia and the Furies (on Taurian Land) by Ho Ka Kei is a good deconstruction of the colonialist nature of Iphigenia among the Taurians, and it is also absurdly hilarious, so I recommend. I read it before I read the play it adapts and I was fine but it is good to have context.

i’m having an iphigenia moment anyway i also recommend Iphigenia at Zero by Lisa Schlesinger if you get into iphigenia’s story.

I’m like 15 pages in to Cassandra by Christa Wolf and I am thoroughly enjoying it so far

Antigone directed by Sophie Deraspe is a great French Canadian adaptation of Antigone in the modern day I really like it

and who would i be if i didn’t recommend max @goose-books‘s godsong, aka the aeneid (among other things) with lesbians

also. note on adaptation - a lot of adaptations i have read flatten the morality of these plays into good and bad. i think that’s dumb. let them be shitty, adaptations!

ok thats all good luck brave soldier o7

[crownedmango]

Jay and Silent Bob Headcannons

Figured I’d finally post these here, Probably super unoriginal but shhh

—————————

•Silent Bob is cannonically Gay! As for other things, I think it’s the usual cis male with He/Him pronouns and all that jazz- but he’s slaying regardless

•As for Jay, I’m not sure what his actual confirmed orientation is, but I believe he’s pansexual with a heavy lean towards males/masc presenting (and has definetly struggled with that part of him-)! He probably uses He/They pronouns too- look at him- GNC lookin’ motherfucker

•They sell a shit ton of weed during the pride parades they go to! They adore the events and do practically every activity available to them. Their best seller is the joints rolled in rainbow papers and the multicolored weed inside. They will also beat the ever loving fuck out of cops and assholes trying to cause problems - Somehow they never get hurt during this… probably because someone above is watching them do it with a warm smile on her face

•Jay Doodles, a LOT - All while Silent Bob was using his creativity to be an engineering and tech genius, Jay was focusing on his music and art. The two obviously didn’t go into any job fields, but they still very much have these skills refined. Jay mostly shows his talent off with his constant singing and dancing, but from time to time he’ll get out a sketchbook and pencil and start doodling whatever comes to mind… We’ll just say it’s mostly Silent Bob he draws, he is his muse after all!

•Jay is a loud mouth and Silent Bob is- well- Silent, obviously- but regardless, they sometimes switch these roles and Jay is actually a way better listener than most people think. Silent Bob only ever really talks when he needs to, is telling his Chasing Amy tale, or when it’s just him and Jay and he feels safe

•Jay collects a lot of trinkets. Shiny things, Nerdy stuff, whatever people decide to try and trade in for weed- things like that, and Silent Bob is more than happy to keep it safe in that trench coat of his until they get back to the apartment

•Speaking of said Trench Coat, Jay will hide himself against Silent Bob and keep himself tucked away in said coat and against the other, especially if it’s too cold out. Jay’s gone “missing” on occasion because of this

•You’ve never seen PDA before until you’ve seen these bitches. Yeah normally they’re just standing around, goofing off, but they also end up very handsy with one one another, holding hands, holding one another, kisses, the whole shabang! Anyone interrupts them while it’s happening and they’ll simply gaslight you into believing otherwise or just act like nothing happened

•Silent Bob actually works out quite a bit, so he’s more-so muscle than he is fat, though he’s still got quite a bit of chub - and Jay goes crazy for it despite the more-so “mean” nicknames. Jay always sits and politely (ferally- actually-) watches the other work out - Jay acts as a hype man the whole time and is in charge of the tunes that play

•Jay has a horrible habit of Stealing Silent Bob's shirts to wear around the house on lazy days to the point most of Silent Bob’s wardrobe is in Jays room, and he has to always go in and take all his stuff back

•As mentioned before they’re totally cool with PDA, but sometimes they have to be more discrete due to just how the people around them act and feel about it, so something Silent Bob likes to do is light Jays joints with his Cigarette, and Jay goes crazy for it every single time

•They totally shotgun their joints too

•The only person whose opinions Jay cares about is Silent Bobs, everyone else is practically white noise to him, and he always brushes them off or quips back with something brutal. When Silent Bob has something negative to tell him, gets angry or annoyed with him, anything of the sort, Jay feels like he’s shattered into a million pieces, and it takes him a moment to recollect himself again, and he always goes unnaturally quiet for a while, but the two always have an eventual heart to heart about it, and things are quick to be patched up and worked on. Silent Bob rarely does get upset at Jay though, playfully annoyed at most, as being with the blonde every second of everyday he’s learned extreme patience for the other - especially since Jays mouth always moves faster than his brain 90% of the time

•They always take care of each others hair given how long they have it, however Jay’s usually needs higher maintenance given how blonde and long it is and god knows that man couldn't sit still long enough to take care of it himself (Some Days Silent Bob practically has to wrangle the other in long enough for him enough to even brush it)

•Jay’s very sensitive on the scalp and ears, and people have a terrible habit of trying to feel his hair without asking due to its general length, Softness, and almost impossible golden color, so he constantly makes sure he’s wearing his beanies (he feels naked without them regardless of the touchy problem). The only time he lets someone touch those areas is of course Silent Bob, who always gently works his fingers through the other’s hair and knows just exactly what causes the other to practically melt and purr from the sensation

•Silent Bob and Jay actually both know ASL since Silent Bob is a selective mute, but Silent Bob tends to play charades or use his phone for emojis cause he thinks it’s funnier to make everyone guess

•They slow dance with one another quite a lot - It was one of the few things that caught Jays attention when he’d sit and endure those “stupid romancey chick flicks” that Silent Bob liked to watch, and he had instantly clung onto the idea.. now it’s just something they do every now and again

•Usually Silent Bob does all the fighting on behalf of Jay, since the loud mouth is prone to getting himself into a handful of situations - a lot of the situations are mind blowing on how he even managed to get himself there - and Silent Bob is his muscle anyways, so it’s expected by most. Silent Bob usually can step in and swing before anything can even happen to Jay, but if the blonde gets hurt to any degree it’s like something snaps in Silent Bob, and he becomes an immovable force, a powerhouse, A- well- you get it, he gets scary.. he managed to effortlessly toss two angels out of a moving train after all. Jay always swoons when watching the other fight for him, practically sends tingles down his spine every time

•They go on double dates with Dante and Randal from time to time, and by God it is always an experience, the two chatter boxes that are Jay and Randal, are constantly going back and forth about whatever comic, movie or insane train of thought they managed to land on the entire time, while Silent Bob and Dante sit quietly and listen to the other two, they exchange unspoken words from time to time, Dante always breaking his silence however to scold Randal or defend himself from whatever insane “fact” Randal had spouted out, which then causes the two to go on and on about whatever it had been while Jay and Silent Bob sit and laugh at the bickering couple. It’s always a nice time though, they’ve all become better friends over time and they’re like an odd little family

•Their wedding wasn’t all that much really, a simple little party with their friends, Dante and Randal the best men obviously - and of course, God herself there to officiate the wedding.. The Metatron did most of the talking though. Their rings are simple golden bands with eachothers names engraved on the inner part of the rings, most of the time they keep them somewhere else like in a pocket or around their neck, or leave them at home, they say it’s because they don’t want to risk losing them, but really they know how harassed they’d constantly be harassed by the “redneck inbred fuckheads” that come around

•It’s VERY easy for Jay to get sick in the winter, and when that happens, Silent Bob has to practically tie the man down to the bed because the blonde simply refuses to actually lay in bed and rest, always wanting to get up and do something. Once Jay knows he can’t escape the others mother henning behaviour, he gets fucking whiney.

[justaredheadf1fan]

Literally back at Montmeló this year 😎

Hello there from the sunny/stormy/rainy/cloudy, no-one-knows-what-else Barcelona!

Marina and I are back at the Barcelona-Catalunya Montmeló race track, but unlike last year, we’re now enjoying the view from the first rows of the Main Stands of the track. We thought it best since last year we nearly melted under the 36º sun without any cover on the stands. What we didn’t know is that the Main Stand doesn’t completely cover you from the sun/rain, at least not where we are seating. We might get it right next season 🤣

Anyway, so this time around we’ve come pretty early plus we’ve actually tried our best to see what was going on around the Fan Zone and we’ve seen a couple of drivers talking…. What a fucking delight. Seriously. Despite the blazing sun, the melting heat (I truly thought my skull was disintegrating) and some truly stupid people, the experience was fantastic. I was honestly surprised by some of the drivers, who we didn’t expect at all to be so sweet and nice and 🥰 Others were as we expected, others we obviously ADORED and there was one I didn’t want to see, and luckily we didn’t. I guess that’s all the luck we’re gonna get this weekend.

Lando and Oscar were meh. I didn’t like any of them. I already didn’t, but yesterday solidified my opinion on them. BUT the biggest surprises for me were Alex and Logan, they were like the sweetest guys ever. Alex already gives that vibe although I didn’t quite like him, but Logan really is like the nicest dude. He might not be the best driver, but they both won me over.

Zhou, Valtteri, Nyck and Yuki made the rest of my day. Not so much into Valtteri (nothing against the guy, he’s just there, he’s nice and that’s it), but Zhou, Nyck and Yuki are the CUTEST. God, how could we not!? Adorable. We even saw Toto speaking right before FP2 and man does that guy have a hold on my heart now. He’s hypnotic.

Today we saw more interesting drivers in the morning, starting with our favorite Frenchmen, Estie Bestie and Pierre. People were booing at them even to their faces, which was very annoying since none of them deserved it at all, but many of us tried to make them feel the best we could, and apparently we managed so that was good. We had the Ferrari boys just afterwards and saying that Charles is the cutest and a sweetheart is an understatement. How can I love someone that much? I could eat his face when he smiles. He even tried saying a couple things in Spanish and it was so funny and adorable, and Carlos even played along calling him “icónico”. It was a beautiful thing.

Afterwards came Kevin, Nico and Checo. Yes, only Checo. We manifested, we thought that maybe if he saw how they started treating Esteban and Pierre in the beginning, that he might get a worse treatment than that (and I can confirm he would’ve), so we hoped he wouldn’t show up. Prayers were answered, my friends. Never liked Checo but I have to give it to him that he was fun to watch, making jokes and being super nice. Obviously Kevin and Nico were fantastic. I can’t stress enough how beautiful they’re in person, especially Kevin. It’s insane how gorgeous he looks in person, so ethereal, so unbothered. Absolute winner. They had a very cool moment at the end. Overall, 10/10 would recommend these guys.

Lastly, we had Lewis and George in front of us. Absolute angel, Lewis. The purest heart. The purest smile. Just grateful for all the support. I can’t say anything that’ll do him justice, because there’s not. Nothing’s enough.”

I’m not really gonna comment on the FP sessions because watching all of it live and having the big screens so far away this time (further and also smaller than you’d think, believe me) we haven’t even seen most of the footage and we have missed quite a bit of images and details to be able to comment properly. However, it mostly went smoothly except maybe FP3 since it started raining and poor Logan crashed. He looked defeated afterwards when he came back to the pitlane.

Anyway, so I’ll update tomorrow with a few pictures of the straight in front of the pitlane. We’ll see how it goes 🤞🏻

Peace out!

[missnight0wl]

I never thought they'd give those lines after MC "explaining" the stuff about their dad to Tonks.

It doesn't fit her character. At all. Like... Why would she care about MC's dad being R's leader? Almost everyone in her family are Death Eaters.

Alright, I know I’m probably in minority, but honestly… I really think that people are overreacting about the recent chapter. No offence! But I just don’t get why so many players are saying that MC’s friends are terrible and whatnot. Because here’s the thing: MC looked really damn bad in this whole situation. And in my opinion, it’s not even about MC’s father being the leader of R. It’s about MC hiding this information. That’s why MC’s friends are upset, including Tonks. Or maybe even: especially Tonks.

See, the thing about Tonks is that she’s pretty much established as someone really close to MC. I mean, in the Patronus TLSQ, she basically walks MC through semi-therapy to help them with their mental block. But even the side quests aside, in the main story, she also has quite a lot of moments when she’s very supportive. Overall, you can say that Tonks trusts MC, and MC seems to trust Tonks. But now, we have the recent chapter. And notice that we actually were spending a big part of it with Tonks. Yet, at any point, MC didn’t choose to tell Tonks about their father. And it hurts.

Moreover, I think that Tonks having Death Eaters in her family is what might make her more hurt – not hypocritical. Because MC knows that Tonks doesn’t agree with them, and it’s basically why she wants to be an Auror. In the past, MC seemed to understand it and acknowledge that Tonks’s family doesn’t define her. But now, it turns out that MC is in a very similar situation – and they chose to hide it! I mean, if MC is scared that the others might judge them for that… does it mean that they also secretly judge Tonks? Because otherwise, why they wanted to hide it? You know what I mean?

I actually feel that it’s MC who’s hypocritical in this situation, not Tonks. In fact, I do believe that if MC told everyone about Peregrine right away, Tonks would probably be one of the first people to say that it doesn’t matter.

Seriously, when I look at Tonks’s reaction, I don’t see it as her saying that MC is a bad person.

I see it as Tonks feeling betrayed that MC was hiding something so important.

Also, let’s keep in mind that all reactions we see are the first reactions, meaning that they’re very emotional. And Merula really didn’t make anything better, but not because she called MC out. She made things worse because MC decided to tell the Circle about Merula kidnapping Corey while keeping a secret about their father. And I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but it kind of looks like MC did it on purpose to make everyone angry at Merula before they could get angry at them.

To be clear, I’m fully aware that Jam City fucked up the writing of this plotline, and it's a very lazy way of creating some drama. But it doesn’t really change the fact that MC looks a bit like a jackass. And because of that, I think that the Circle’s initial negative reaction is justifiable.

Although to be fair, there are a couple of reactions I do find problematic. The first one is Barnaby:

If anyone knows that one’s father doesn’t define you, it’s Barnaby. The line above actually doesn’t fit his character at all. Still, it’s not even what bothers me the most, to be honest.

What bothers me the most is how it’s worded. Again, perhaps it’s just me, but it sounds like something a child would say. I know that JC likes to portray Barnaby as an idiot, but… seriously. Who even wrote it?

The second problematic reaction is Corey:

Uhm, hello? You knew that, Corey, and you were hiding it as well, so what the hell? Also, do you really want me to tell everyone about your embarrassing crush on Peregrine? Still, I assume it’s simply Corey being stupid and not thinking about the consequences of their actions. It’s annoying, but I’m not super bothered by that.

Finally, we have Ben:

And yes, Ben basically expressed what I talked about in the first part of my post. But my problem here is that it’s Ben who said that. Because Ben knows very well about lying through omission. Hell, if you choose Ben as a companion at one point in Y4, he basically admits that it’s exactly what he’s doing.

So like… Benny, my boy? Why you’re such a hypocrite? And I don’t care that JC might not remember what happened with Ben previously. That boy confuses me lately either way.

So yeah, I’m sorry, but I’m actually with Tonks here. And frankly, I’d probably react similarly.

[kxllerblond]

ON OTHER SUPERNATURAL CREATURES

I’ve mentioned some of this in passing but I don’t believe I ever knocked it all down officially into a post. SO HERE WE GO.

𝐃𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐒

Honestly? Clark’s a super mega demon prejudiced. Extreme prejudice and he even outright recognizes this. Over the years, it’s become case by case as he has made friends, lovers, or otherwise with demons that are pretty chill. By default though, he does not trust them or think highly of them whatsoever. This is a mix of distaste for what his demonic father did and a mixture of a projection of some of his own self-hate. 

𝐕𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐒

Kind of ties in his feelings on demons. Clark’s not fond of anything that reminds him of himself or his demonic heritage. Being a half incubus that needs to feed on some sort of life-force to maintain his immortality is pretty similar to a vampire needing to feed to survive an he does not enjoy that. PERSONALLY, he has nothing against vampires and any distrust or hostility towards them specifically is 100% projection.

𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐖𝐎𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐒

Now he won’t tell a soul this but shifters are probably the ONLY supernatural creature he will outright give an honest chance. His general distrust in people doesn’t just VANISH, but he doesn’t have any species-specific distaste for them. Werewolves and shifters in general probably have the best chance of being friendly with him far quicker than anything else.

𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐒

Clark’s distaste of angels is partially because holy things hurt him but also because he has some BIG issues with the heavenly host. My boy has some MAD opinions about the whole angelic hierarchy and set up and could probably write a scalding hot thesis paper on it. If possible, he’d for sure like to punch God in the face to say THE LEAST. 

𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐄𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 / 𝐄𝐓𝐂

It’s to be noted Clark is usually pretty respectful to other religious deities unless they’re ALSO assholes (as a lot of Gods/etc tend to be if we’re being honest). But he doesn’t hold that immediate animosity that he holds with the typical Christian entities. 

𝐍𝐄𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐌 / 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐍

He doesn’t like to be AROUND other halfings and hybrids just because he feels like that paints the target on his back even BIGGER. He has no real issue with nephilim and might even be considerably more tolerant with them than cambion. With cambion, he just doesn’t like them. Probably another case of some of his self-hate, but he just has not met a another cambion with a decent attitude to date and he’s confident they’re all literally just assholes.

𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐒

He tends to vibe with these the most. They tend to have the whole ‘I never asked for this life and most days I regret having it’ thing in common. The aspect of being born and raised human but not technically being normal really draws him in. 

𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒 / 𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐒 / 𝐄𝐓𝐂

It’s not a personal distaste or hate, he just finds them very fucking annoying to deal with. Clark is this neat and tidy and impatient man and so dealing with these things that are trying to messily communicate from the plane of the dead and don't have enough experience to not suck at it really grind his gears. That and Clark has died and come back and so he really does not vibe well with things so close to death.

𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒 /𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐒

Now he doesn’t vibe with them on a personal level like shifters and cursed humans, but he tends to work best professionally with witches and warlocks. Most of his networking and business contacts are witches or some sort. Being from the deep south, it’s just a big thing and it’s essentially kind of dumb not to try and be friendly with them at least on a business level. 

[kittyphoenix12-xx]

The Slightly Incoherent Review Of UA Season 3

SPOLIERS FOR THE ENTIRE SEASON AHEAD

·       The fucking dance-off. Before we saw it, I had joked to my sister that they should do a dance battle, and I was in tears the entire time. It was such a good song choice, and the vibes were immaculate, so it was a shame that the entire thing was a fever dream.

·       Unstoppable Force (Umbrella Academy) meets Immovable Wall (Sparrow Academy). I think this explains how most of the Sparrows were taken out – the Umbrellas had been humbled by 5 disappearing and Ben dying, they knew that they couldn’t stay, whilst the Sparrows hadn’t had this, they were arrogant – like the Illuminati in Multiverse of Madness.

·       also, doesn’t help that the Umbrellas are basically feral by this point.

·       HOTEL OBSIDIAN was such a vibe, honestly. It was such a cool hotel. Although, I did think that the patrons that we kept getting close-ups on would be more important. Especially the guy who played Death in SpN – thought his role would be bigger

·       STANLEY!!!!!!!! He was so cute, and such a good foil for Diego. I know he wasn’t actually his son, but they were so cute together. I wish they had been more upset when he fucking died tho?? Like, they just stood there and then left??? TF??

·       HARLAN! TBH, I hadn’t really been expecting his character, which was stupid of me, but I liked what they had done with him and how they developed him, both as a super-powered person and as an autistic person. I’m not autistic myself, so I cant say much, but he was very interesting especially with how his power was utilised in comparison to Viktor’s.

·       On that note, Viktor’s coming out was handled so well. I know that some people might’ve been annoyed about how brushed over it was, but I’m of the opinion that if we normalise coming out in anyway, it doesn’t have to be a big deal.

·       LUTHER: Luther’s character has come such a long way since season 1. I liked him well enough in season 2, even though he wasn’t my favourite, but this season he was; funny and caring and had major proper himbo energy. He just loved his wife and his siblings so much and I honestly love that vibe for him

·       Luther/Sloane – I know that this relationship isn’t for everyone, but honestly, Luther needed to move on from Allison and this time they’re not actually siblings. Not even adopted technically, the issue with Allsion and Luther was the fact that they had grown up together as siblings, so Luther/Sloane was much healthier. They were cute as well, because Sloane really cared about Luther and the moon, and I know it was annoying in season 1 (even though he was partially correct about it having to do with the moon???) but the fact that he was alone up there for four years and none of his siblings cared?? Like, Sloane did??? And I think them getting married really quickly was in character for both of them, change my mind.

·       DIEGO: Diego wasn’t my favourite in season 2, I felt like they’d ruined his character from season 1 (maybe, it was the hair?? and JFK??) but he was so much better this season. He was a better sibling, father, boyfriend etc and he was trying so hard, the entire time and I really thought that they did his character justice this season

·       Diego/Lila – I knew they’d bring this back for this season, but I had been expecting some drama with Patch for some reason?? I wasn’t the biggest fan in season 2 because I thought that they’d enabled each other, but their relationship was much better this season. I think Lila makes Diego soft in comparison??? I don’t know how to explain it?? But yeah. If there’s a season 4, hope they make good parents, would probably let their kid drink a glass of wine sometimes or something.

·       Allison: Oh, Allison. Look I get it, you lost your child and then your husband, but honestly, it wasn’t surprising that Claire wasn’t there. But her toxic arc was kinda horrifying to witness?? Like I wanted to slap her at some points. Was she valid in the way she was feeling? Mostly. Did that give her the right to do most of the things she did? No. she sexually assaulted Luther (unacceptable, no matter what) and murdered Harlan (the only thing about this was the fact that I think Harlan let her do it willingly). But Harlan was practically Viktor’s child, he’d been living with him, helping Sissy raise him and it had only been a few days for him, so it was understandable why Viktor was unwilling to murder Harlan, so that sat uncomfortably with me. The fact that Allison didn’t think she’d done anything wrong was even more terrifying??? Like, Harlan’s death hadn’t really united the families, the wedding did, and she was awful to Viktor. TELLING YOUR BROTHER THAT YOU SHOULD’VE LEFT HIM IN THE BASEMENT IS TERRIBLE. It was a good thing that Viktor was emotionally stable this season, honestly.

·       Also, how does the Claire/Ray thing work? Did Alison still sleep with Patrick in this timeline? How is Ray alive? Is it because it was her ‘wish’ and the timeline just rewrote itself around them?

·       KLAUS: Babe, I miss season 1 Klaus, he was such a vibe. But he’s matured somehow, and I like him all the same (although season 2 was iffy, no matter how funny the cult was). I’m glad that they put Klaus and 5 together, because their dynamic is hilarious. And I love the power exploration this season, but I wish they did more with ghosts because that was kind of confusing??? I know they did it so that he could summon Luther, but I felt like their was a better way to utilise that??? Also, does his power work with alcohol now? Or was it just drugs that stopped them??

·       Klaus and Reginald: This was a rollercoaster that broke me in the end. I’m not a fan of characters forgiving abusive parental figures without a really good reason, but it was in character for Klaus (and the rest of the Umbrellas), so I understood. But the fact that Reginald killed him over and over and Klaus accepted it made me sad, even if it was necessary but the ULTIMATE BETRAYAL was the act at the end when he left Klaus to the apocalypse. That made me so upset and I wish Reggie died and I hope Klaus fucking wrecks him next season

·       FIVE: love this little guy. Very feral, although he did lose a few braincells, as in it took him way too long to realise something was wrong but I think we can cut him some slack, he just survived three apocalypses in a month. He deserves a break. He was the least changed character, so I don’t actually have much to say

·       BEN: Benny, Bennerino, oh boy. I love this dickhead so much. He’s basically Diego if Diego didn’t have Grace. Inferiority complex a mile wide, coupled with the fact that some douchebags from another timeline bonded with his father more than he did and kept comparing his to a different Ben, I get why he was mad. I did want him to take a chill-pill tho, lmao

·       VIKTOR: Viktor was so self-assured this season, I love it. He had some of the best character development and it really showed. Did he technically start three apocalypses? Yes. Do we blame him for it? No. Emotional trauma for the win, baby.

·       The Sparrows: Cool concept, subpar execution. I didn’t even no what Marcus’s power was, was it super-strength????? They were so hyped up that they definitely fell flat and only served as plot devices (even Sloane) other than Ben and it makes me sad, because they were so cool. They were what Reginald both wanted and feared. Powerful children? Check. Don’t respect or fear him anymore? Double check. That was a power move though, honestly.

·       THE PLOT: Uh, better than season 2 in my opinion. Dallas was boring for me, but this was an interesting apocalypse – because I’m 98% sure that it could’ve been solved with communication from all parties, but it wouldn’t be the Umbrella Academy otherwise. Oblivion definitely confused me, and I think it came in too fast once we got there??? You get me??? Like they fixed it pretty quickly once it happened and I thought that part was the least interesting plot point. IDK

·       Also Pogo as a tattoo artist was hilarious.

Sorry that this was long, what do you think about any of these opinions??

[sylleblosscm]

@inimiicus​:

character meme: ardyn jazz hands

---

Opinions

First impression • I have to level with you guys, as one of those bi of sexuals you’ll hear a lot about this month, I just. When it comes to the over-the-top, super camp, sassy villain who is also genuinely scary, my response is automatic. I see, I love. He was already great. Aspirational. Iconic. An absolute treasure to behold. A gift to my eyeballs. Ardyn didn’t need to be more than that for me to appreciate him, and at first, I didn’t think he would be.

Impression now • Like the great philosopher Cloud once said: hoo boy. You know when a property fucks up a character so severely that they’re kind of obligated to give them a redemption story down the line, and it’s so obviously hamfisted that people respond with, “wOw, tHaT FixEd eVerYtHiNg!”? That, but unironically for Episode Ardyn. Not that Ardyn was especially broken to begin with, it was just frustrating that we never got a full grasp on his motivations or place in the narrative. While giving the villain a Tragic Backstory™©® in order to make them sympathetic is a hamfisted and annoying move most of the time, XV really pulled it off for me. After learning the kind of person he used to be, what was done to him, and the existence he’s been forced into, he doesn’t really come off so bad anymore. Especially if you reject Bahamut at first, and witness the cruel and inhumane lengths he’s willing to go to, to see his own will done. Much like with Regis, I’m left wondering what I’m supposed to be angry about. He’s up against a literal god. And clearly XV isn’t interested in being that kind of jrpg (though it really should have been, salt, salt). Not only do we have context to his behaviour, but it actually shifts the dynamic of the entire cast, world, and story, because the villain no longer seems villainous, and the hero doesn’t feel quite so much like a hero, as much as he does a helpless pawn. (But that’s an entire other rant I may go into someday.) I suppose in the end, all I really want for Ardyn is justice for his character. Not to harp on Dawn or anything, but I really liked that ending for him. He found peace in death or whatever; more important is that he did it on his own terms, regaining his agency in his final moments. He chose how to go, was able to reconcile with his brother, and take his justice from a cruel and unforgiving god that was willing to raise 114 generations of his own blood to slaughter. Honestly, call me captain of the Ardyn Defence Squad, because I’d go to war for this greasy weirdo, Man Of Every Consequence.

Favorite moment • It’s a tie. “For what sins must I atone??” SAY IT AGAIN FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK. But also, probably the entire talk with Bahamut, because again, that’s the thing that shifts his character from Sassy Villain to genuinely devastating. You really get an image of just how helpless and powerless this seemingly all-powerful man is in the face of his destiny. And it’s all capped off by knowing that he became this way because he wanted so desperately to help others. I just can’t fault him for that. And finally, the moment he kills Luna. I hate that for Luna a lot, but I love how she reaches out and tries to offer her help. You see this perfect, unbreakable facade of carelessness crack, and it elicits one of the few honest-to-goodness reactions we ever see from him. He’s disgusted, afraid, and a little hopeful all at once. All because someone was kind to him for the first time in a couple thousand years. 

Idea for a story • I’m still hung up on anything that lets him and Luna be besties. He needs a friend. I’d also like to see a deviation in canon where he instantly regrets harming Luna and manages to help her somehow, sparing her life and forcing him to reconsider his actions and accept her help.

Unpopular opinion • Honestly, if what I’ve already said thus far isn’t too unpopular, then there’s nothing I can add that would be so. Ardyn began as a great villain and ended as something between that and a sympathetic antihero. I just want more for him. 

Favorite relationship • I really, really wanted to see more of his relationship with Somnus. It was intriguing and nuanced, with neither side wholly in the right or wrong, and their rivalry stoked by forces well beyond them. I like that Dawn gave Somnus the chance to truly apologise, and I like to think that, in kinder circumstances, they could have been an amazing team. 

Favorite headcanon • That, after daylight returns, Ardyn’s rightful place in Lucian history is cemented; not just as the Accursed, but as the man who was almost King, but for his boundless compassion, and willingness to put himself in harm’s way to save others. It’s what he deserves. 

[heart-hammer]

Menver Pt. 1: Rock Guys

Living in “Menver” is terrible and I love it.

Denver is the land of single men. When you live here, you run into a lot of them. Like, a lot. So many in fact that you start to categorize them into specific types.

One of those types are Rock Guys. Rock Guys are fucking everywhere.

Rock Guys aren’t Crystal Guys. Crystal Guys went to design school and journal every morning. Rock Guys are different.

For one thing, Rock Guys don’t buy their rocks. Every piece in a Rock Guy’s collection was pulled from the ground by their own hands, and they’ll tell you about when and where it happened for as long as you’re willing to listen. Sometimes longer.

Rock Guys think people who pay for rocks are silly. Rock Guys think people who pay for anything are silly because Rock Guys are Facebook-Marketplace, dumpster-dive-on-a-hot-Saturday-afternoon, haggle-until-blue-in-the-face frugal.

Rock Guys have trade jobs. They work with their hands. They mountain bike. They dress like they’re between housing situations. They carry Bowie knives everywhere, even to brunch spots, and you just sort of have to be cool with that because Rock Guys are incredibly stubborn.

You know those kids who were super into dinosaurs in kindergarten? Some of them grew up to be Rock Guys. The kids who could name every Pokémon got degrees in Computer Science and invested in crypto and the kids who knew a lot about insects developed prescription pill addictions.

Anyway, back to Rock Guys: You’ll meet them at a dog park and invite them over and they’ll bring rocks. This one was originally from upstate New York. He brought Herkimer diamonds in a Ziploc bag and larger pieces of quartz wrapped in old newspaper. He was tall and lean and standoffish. I was nervous in his presence, which was a sensation I think we both enjoyed.

He had an app that showed all the miles he’d biked. He talked about his times in relation to everyone else's, as if I wouldn’t be properly impressed without the comparison. Turns out Rock Guys sort people into categories too. There’s “Most People” and then there’s “Him”.

We didn’t date, exactly. Rock Guys don’t really “do” commitment or labels. But we hung out for months. He cooked for me. We ate standing up. We fucked standing up. He didn’t seem to like when I knew things but also was mildly annoyed with me when I didn’t know something. It wasn’t long before I realized that he loved the dog he shared with his ex more than he could ever love me, and I was fine with that.

She’s a really good dog.

He had this way of serving up criticism dressed as unsolicited advice, like a shitty personal trainer.

“You should get better dining chairs so that you don’t have to hunch over your plate like a gremlin.” “Apologizing that much makes you seem insincere.” “He probably asked where you’re from because of all the makeup. He’s not used to seeing that from girls here.”

And like a shitty personal trainer, his opinion could only matter to me for a short time. He would say something rough and when he left my apartment I would think, ‘God, is that what he really thinks of me?’ and then 25 minutes and a slice of apple tart later I’d be staring at photos of him shirtless and all (well, not ALL but most) would be forgotten.

We fell out of touch, which was more his doing than mine. I didn’t pursue him. Rock Guys are fast, man. Once they get rolling downhill they just don’t stop.

I still keep some of the rocks he gifted me on my bookshelf. I like looking at them. They remind of hard, fond moments.

[bisluthq]

s. CNN covered the shit out of her for their Grammy segment (the news ticker actually said “Taylor Swift’s big night”), and I watched some of their pre SuperBowl coverage today (it was the majority of their World Sport segment today which usually would’ve annoyed me but they devoted a portion of THAT to Taylor). BBC also covered her for the Grammys. She got Time Person of the Year with minimal negative think pieces resulting. The Japanese Embassy to the US issued a statement calculating how she could get back to the SuperBowl and hyping her trip to Japan.

I mean these are all publications/media I think anon is talking about the public opinion of real people not the media who are covering her because she’s extremely famous atm

but like I am once again asking you - who do you think “the media” caters for? Media - especially the kind I mentioned far more than like Buzzfeed which despite occasional good reporting isn’t taken seriously by people or idk trade pubs like Variety which unless you’re into film/production you wouldn’t really be fucked about or even E! which is for people who dig pop culture - caters for actual normal real people. If actual normal real people didn’t like hearing stories about Taylor Swift, these places would not run them because it’d be bad for ratings and clicks. People would tune out. There are people who dedicate their time to programming and do analyses and collate data and run focus groups. REAL PEOPLE are watching normal shit like CNN. They’re not reading stan Twitter takedown threads because like that’d require you be super online in a way most REAL PEOPLE just aren’t. We are all very online and so we see specific things that the average person just wouldn’t see or know about. Sure, her overexposure is mildly annoying to many people and people enjoy hating on things that are huge but like clearly serious media organizations have run the numbers and know that positive stuff about her will sell and get views. That says all we need to know. Taylor is popular. Not just famous, popular. People like her.

again, in 2016 she was very famous but she was either not being covered or being covered negatively because that’s what people wanted to read/hear about back then because they genuinely didn’t like her (even if they kept listening to the music).

[defectivehero]

“Well, shit,” the villain groans, pinching the bridge of their nose. They blink several times, to the hero’s confusion. Their gaze remains fixed on a point on the ground near their feet. “Might as well turn myself in now.”

“What?” the hero sputters, confused by the sudden turn of events. They look around to see if they missed something. Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary, to their knowledge.

“My glasses,” the villain sighs, pointing to the smashed spectacles near the hero’s feet. “My eyesight is horrible without them.” The hero looks down at the ground at their feet, lifting a shoe and revealing a mess of cracked glass. They look back to the villain and find that, sure enough, their enemy is squinting. The hero resists the urge to groan. 

“Come on, I doubt it’s that bad,” the hero sighs, crossing their arms over their chest. An idea comes to their mind. It’s not a great idea, but it’s an idea nonetheless. “How many fingers am I holding up?” For a painfully long amount of time, silence stretches across the space. The hero holds up three fingers patiently, waiting for the villain to reply. When their enemy finally does respond, what they say is entirely unexpected. 

“On second thought, I’m just going to punch you,” the villain hisses, stepping forward. The hero grimaces and turns on their heel to run away, ignoring the shouts of their enemy behind them. 

[©2022 @defectivehero​ All Rights Reserved]

endnotes after the cut :)

it’s so annoying (in my opinion) when people say shit like “how many fingers am i holding up?” or, as they’re trying your glasses on: “wow, how can you even see out of these?!” it’s also super predictable??? idk the moment someone asks to try on my glasses i immediately stiffen... like... no. if i wanted to hear how bad my eyesight is, i would go to the eye doctor. not you 💀💀 /lh

also i know the copyright thing may seem unnecessary but i find it easier to use than simply putting “not a prompt” in the tags. I'm more confident posting shorter pieces with the copyright statement than the simple tag, because there’s less of a chance of someone misinterpreting my writing as available for use. yuh. I've gotten comments saying “bUt thIs lOoKs lIke A prOmpT tO mE” and I'm just sitting here like -_-. i don’t think that preventing people from copying and/or using my writing is selfish, but some seem to think it is. ah well.  

[ plus the prompt tag usually boosts engagement and I want to use it but, at the same time, I feel like tagging it as such makes people think they can use it. ah, whatever. engagement isn’t most important to me, anyways... sorry, I'm rambling. ]

last note,,, I would like to remind everyone of my absolute patheticness (I know that’s not a word but it is now.) okay sO story time my dad made bratwurst for dinner the other night and we have leftovers in the fridge. I planned to have a brat for dinner but when I walk out to the kitchen, the brats are out on the counter... they had been sitting there for like three hours since my brother ate them for lunch meaning they were spoiled...so with my mind set on a brat,,, i had to change my mind to an omelette. sO I went out to the kitchen and started getting the cooking stuff out,,, only to open the eggs and find that THERE WAS ONLY ONE>>> i was so furious lol... so i thought “well fuck it” and grabbed one of the frozen personal pizzas we have... and microwaved it (because i was too hungry to wait for the oven plus the box recommended microwave).. three minutes later i find that the pizza box is a FAWKING LIAR and that shit is not microwaveable in the slightest... so I gave up and reheated some shrimp fried rice.... yeah. it was so pathetic. like idk how i managed to fuck up a microwaveable pizza but 

[not this being longer than the snippet 💀💀]

[i-cant-sing]

An Accident

Yeah... you may have seen this before, earlier this week when I accidentally posted it. Anyways, this is a part 2 of the Todoroki clan being obsessed with reader's hair. So, um enjoy.

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Yandere Todoroki Clan:

Rei is obsessed with reader’s hair.

She’s taken such good care of it, and after years of hard work, your hair now reaches just around your butt. Your hair is healthy, thick, luscious, and cut into a smooth, U shape; of course all trims are done by Rei herself because she doesn't even trust professionals. And even though you’ve asked Rei on multiple occasions to cut it short, at least up to the middle of your back, she just wouldn’t, always saying that you’re being unreasonable. But you’re not; you’ve given her multiple valid reasons.

For example, Rei and Fuyumi do your hair themselves. And initially, they would let you choose whatever hairstyle you wanted, but now they pick one for you, saying they know which one will suit your outfit of the day better. Rei likes to do double buns, or ponytails tied with ribbons or just one high pony with a pretty big bow on the top of your head. Fuyumi on the other hand makes super intricate hairstyles, and while they look pretty, only you know how much pain your scalp is in. Fuyumi does your hair as if you’re her doll, yanking and twisting hard, saying that she needs to be this rough to achieve the distinctive braid patterns. Thankfully, Rei usually does your hair most of the time.

One of the main reasons you've begged Rei to let you cut your hair short is how much time she (and you) would safe. Since your hair is so long, it takes a lot of time for Rei to put in hair masks, serums, oils, etc. It takes even longer to wash and dry them out, and then style them as well. But she smiled oh so kindly, and told you that she doesn't mind. She looks forward to taking care of your hair, forcing you to sit between her legs for hours as she applies some expensive magic growth oil, ignoring how you didn't like this.

And even if your hair is curly naturally, like even 4C curly hair, Rei will have it straight as a stick in no time (don't bother telling her that you like it natural). But don't worry, its still quite voluminous.

Of course, Rei washes your hair herself, telling you that you’re simply not capable enough to manage it. (At least she lets you wash your body yourself.) And due to your hair being so long, it takes time to not only wash it, but also dry it. Rei will detangle using a wide tooth comb, starting from the bottom and working her way up. Then she’ll dry it with her cold breath, and if required, call Enji to dry your hair with his heat. You like it when Enji dries your hair, because he does it quickly and your hair becomes far smoother.

And its not just Rei and Fuyumi that are obsessed with your hair, the boys are just as fond of it as well. Enji likes to card his fingers through your hair while he’s working on some papers or listening to news, his warm hands always putting you to sleep in his lap. Its an adorable sight, gives him a sense of peace.

Shotou also likes to run his hands through your long hair, especially after a stressful day. The feeling of his fingers through your smooth, long locks, it calms him. And if he’s feeling extra stressed, then he might braid your hair loosely as well. He always wears a scrunchie on his wrist for you.

You wouldn't ever admit it, but you enjoy it when Natsuo played with your hair. Its like he can sense when you're having a headache. He'll have you sit on the floor while he takes a seat on your bed, and then his fingers will do their magic. He knows exactly where to put pressure on your scalp, and exactly how much force to use. His massages always relieve your migraines, and he always massages with expertise to ensure their is proper blood flow in your scalp.

While you are more than happy to let Natsuo touch your hair, you hate it when Dabi's around. If you didn't know better, you'd think he wants to rip your scalp off. He knows how much it annoys you, always pulling at your ponytails, tugging at your braids, even yanking it a few times when you ignore him. And you've complained to your family, but all of them say that "oh he's just playing around." Or "no, he just misses you. He's only teasing." And when you ask Dabi to stop it, he'll just smile and say "big brother privileges."

He's insufferable.

Everyone gets to play with your hair, but God forbid if you do. Oh no, apparently you'd "destroy it", as if you're not capable of managing your own hair. You're not allowed to open your ponytails because, quoting Rei, "you're yanking your hair. You're going to rip your follicles- baby, stop. Just let me do it." But you know that she does that because she wants to brush your hair with the soft, bristle brush before you go to bed. And somedays, Rei doesn't tie your hair in a bun or something, letting your hair fall, and it gets in your way, and even then you're still not allowed to put it up because "oh honey, your hair needs to breathe too. If you keep it in a pony, the band will leave a mark in it." Honestly, everyone finds it adorable when you're dressed in your little, fluffy skirt paired with a cozy oversized sweater, all mad and pouting, trying to blow the hair strands blocking your field of vision. Like a little baby.

While Rei looks at your hair and sees years of her hards work and patience, all you see is losing control over your own life. And you are. They decide everything for you, from the clothes you wear, the food you eat, and even things you should like and dislike. They choose when you should go out, what you should watch, when its time for bed. They disregard your opinions and feelings, and if you show that you're frustrated, then its means that you're just throwing a "tantrum", and you need to be put to bed like some cranky child. You've told them that they're too overbearing, but they always say that they just love you.

What kind of love is controlling?

They're so lost in their delusions, that they don't even see the deteriorating effects it has on you mentally.

Actually, one person did see them. Dabi.

He saw how much everything was overwhelming you, how you were near tears when they talked over you, made choices for you.

He felt a bit bad for you, just a tad. Mostly, he felt there was another opportunity to mess with you.

When Dabi came to bother you one night, tugging at your hair again, this time a bit harder than usual, he saw you were ready to cry. You didn't even bother saying anything to him anymore, just kept quiet and did your best not to cry. Of course, now he ridiculed you. Called you a little crybaby and used that annoying patronising tone with you. And just as he was about to leave, he said "if your hair bothers you so much, why don't you just cut it, you big baby?"

As if something had finally snapped in you, you let his words echo. Why don't I cut it? What's stopping me?

Was it because you had learned to just give in?

You didn't even realise you had walked to your bathroom until you were holding a pair of scissors. Which surprised you, because you weren't allowed to use scissors unsupervised. It was almost as if a sign from the universe motivating you to do it, and definitely not Dabi who left them on the sink.

Holding the pair of scissors in one hand and a chunk of your hair in the other, you hesitate for a second and wonder what will Rei do. But before you could stop yourself, you cut.

I'll cross that bridge when it comes.

You start low, maybe 2 inches above your hips. It looks okay, but maybe you could cut a little more. And a little more. And a little more. Before you know it, your hair is around shoulder length, in an uneven, chunky bob. Its not perfect, but somehow you feel much better. Like you’ve finally gotten some control back. Wiping your tears away, you ruffle your hair a bit, the cool air on your neck adding to the feeling of freedom. You feel normal, happier, peaceful. Things you haven't felt in years. And all because you had 3 am meltdown.

After you cleaned up the bathroom, you went back to bed, anxious how everyone will react in the morning. Maybe they won't care. You thought. Its only hair. My hair.

Everyone was waiting for you at breakfast the next morning, and to everyone’s surprise, Dabi had joined them as well. Rei was cooking up some eggs, while the kids chatted. Enji was suspicious of the mischievous glint in Dabi’s eyes, and it was filling him with unease. Just as he was about to question him, you walked in.

Everyone went silent.

Then Fuyumi let out an audible gasp, while Dabi chuckled darkly. Natsuo, Shotou and Enji looked at you with their mouths agape.

“Good morning.”you greeted them.

Rei, who was facing away from you, finally turned towards you. “Good mo-”Rei’s breath hitched, eyes blown wide, as the plate of bacon fell from her hands.

Its funny how everyone in the kitchen, including you, had the same thought at that moment.

What the fuck?

Taking a deep breath, you moved to sit in your usual spot between Fuyumi and Rei, but Shotou suddenly pulled you back and pushed you into the seat beside him. He knows his mother is in a better state mentally, but something tells him not to risk it. Fuyumi snapped next, quickly getting up and cleaning the mess on the floor while Enji pulled Rei, who was still staring at you in disbelief, to sit beside him. You remained indifferent to everyone’s stares, quietly eating your food. As soon as you were done, Shotou got up and quickly pulled you out of the room, Dabi following close behind.

They sat in your room as Shotou looked at your hair with worry. “Looking nice, doll.”Dabi chuckled as he plopped down on your bed beside you. “Thanks.” you mumbled. “Y/n how did- why did you- why did you cut your hair?” Shotou asked, still looking at your choppy hair. “Do you not like it?” you asked. “N-no I do. But what will mom say-” “Shotou, its my hair.” you snapped. “Yeah, Shotou.” Dabi mocked. Fuyumi and Natsuo soon joined you guys, worrisome looks on their faces. “Why did you cut it? Oh my god, do you even know how much trouble you’re in?” Fuyumi was freaking out. “Its my hair.” you rolled your eyes. They ignored you. “Okay, okay. Shotou why don't you stick around with Y/n for a couple of days? Fuyumi and dad will try to keep mom away from her.” Before Fuyumi could nod, you stood up. “No.”

Natsuo looked at you confused. “what do you mean “no”?”

“I mean no. I don't need Shotou to babysit me. I can handle myself.” Fuyumi walked towards you, reaching her hands for you but you backed away, “Y/n, sweetie-” You cut her off ,“Stop treating me like a child.”

Shotou spoke this time, “Its for your protection-” “Protection from who? Our mother? Why?”your words dared them to say the truth. To agree that Rei was unstable. They didn't say anything.

A few days had passed by and things were returning to normal. Almost normal. Rei still had this thousand yard stare when she looked at you, but she never said anything. Cutting your hair was the best decision you had made, because not is it only easy to manage, but it also got the family off your back. Rei doesn't wash your hair anymore(although you think she's just not over the shock), Fuyumi doesn't need to do your hair, they dry faster, and all of your brothers (including Dabi) doesn't mess around with them anymore. Enji was the first to adjust to your new cut, he even complimented you one day.

Did you feel guilty because you know how attached Rei was to your hair? A bit, but then realised that you needed this. You need some control over your life, and if this is how they react to your new cut, then maybe you could start taking back reigns over other aspects of your life as well.

You thought that maybe Rei had finally gotten over it a week later, when you were laying in the bathtub, enjoying the hot bath. When you heard her walk in, you were a bit startled. Why was she here- is she finally over it? "Um- hey." She smiled at you. "Why are you here?" She took the bath stool and sat behind the tub. "You know why." She replied and started rolling her sleeves up. Is she here to wash my hair? "Oh, are you here to wash my hair? I don't need help with that anymore now that they're short." Rei smiled again, this one looking forced, before dipping her hand in the tub. "No, silly." And with that, Rei froze the entire the tub in 2 seconds. The ice trapped your limbs, and reached up to your clavicle. The sudden change from hot to cold had you jolt, but you couldn't move due to the frozen ice. "Mom-!" You heard the buzzing sound of a trimmer and then felt Rei entangle her fingers in your hair to yank your head back. "I'm here to complete your haircut." You tried moving your head but her grip on your scalp was unrelenting. She started trimming the right side of your head, moving it slowly as to get every single hair. "Honestly, you should've come to me. I do agree that it'd be a good idea to start again." Tears fell from your eyes, your teeth chattered and you could feel your heart beat slow down as the cold seeped into your bones. "M-mom, I'm col-d. P-please s-stop..." Rei was done with one half of your head. "You know, I read somewhere that your grows thicker if you cut it. I'm sure that after I've shaved your head, your hair will grow even fuller. I've already gotten some new oils and hair masks! Maybe we could do them together." You couldn't hear anything besides the slowing of your own heart beating. Your breath had started to become shallow, you couldn't think about anything except for how painful ice could be. Your lips were turning blue, eyes were getting clouded with black spots, all sensation from your body was losing. Just before you lost consciousness, you heard the bathroom door open and a panicked yell.

You felt warm.

When you came to, your entire body felt warm and weighted, probably due to the heavy blanket spread on you.

Opening your eyes, you found yourself in a dimly lit room. It was...your parents room. Why am I here? You turned your head to look around but your eyes stopped at the large figure sitting on a chair next to your bed.

"Dad?"

The figure's head snapped towards yours. "You're awake." He paused. "How- how are you feeling?" You moved the blanket off you, your body felt dense and ached. "Warm and...sore. What happened? Why am I in your bedroom?" Enji shifted in his seat. "I think its best if you stay here from now on, so that... your mother and I can look after you." Your eyes widened. "What? Why?" You moved to sit up but then a pain shot through your head. "Ah shit." You hissed in pain as you went to massage your temples but your hands halted at the feeling of your hair... or lack there of. You tried to run a finger through your choppy bob cut, but all you felt was your shaved head. Your eyes met Enji's, looking at him in disbelief as you recalled the events that had led up to this. "Darling-" You jumped off the bed and ran towards the vanity mirror, praying that this is just a nightmare. But as you looked at your reflection, you realised that this was the terrifying reality you were living in.

Tears dripped from your eyes as you took in your appearance. Trimmed- no, shaved pink hair. You couldn't see a single bit of hair above the roots, only a baby pink scalp. She had not only trimmed your hair first but then also proceeded to shave your scalp off. Your head looked like it had peach fuzz.

You couldn't bring yourself to look away, not even when Enji placed a hand on your shoulder. "Y/n-" He didn't even what to say. He was still in shock from what would've happened if Fuyumi hadn't yelled for him when Rei was-

Enji shook his head. Now's not the time. You're here and you're fine. You're fine. Enji pulled you towards him, burying your face in his chest as you cried. "You're fine." He repeated, more to himself than to you. "Why- why would she do this?" Your voice was muffled by his chest but he understood. He understood your pain and it tore him apart that he still wouldn't be able to help you.

Enji honestly didn't know what to tell you. He didn't know what words would bring you comfort. "It... it was an accident." His chest rumbled as he spoke. You pushed yourself away from him as you looked at him perplexed.

"What?" Your eyebrows raised, nostrils flared and blood rushed to your face. You were going to blow up.

"An accident? Is that what you said? Oh okay. Was it an accident when she froze the fucking tub? Did the trimmer accidentally fall from her hands to my head?! Oh and did she accidentally pull the razor over my head?!" Angry tears fell from your eyes but you were far too enraged to care.

Enji opened his mouth to say something but he was cut off by the sound of the bedroom door opening. Turning around you saw her.

Rei was standing there with a tray of food and water. Her face turned to shock before turning to happiness. She set the tray on a nearby table before she rushed towards you, her hands reaching for your face.

"Angel, you're awake-" you pushed her hands away roughly as you backed away from her.

"Dont you dare touch me."

The couple, they had never heard your voice such hostility. It wasn't like you. Rei shook her head as she tried to reach for you again, taking another step in your direction. But you smacked her hands away again. "I said don't touch me!" Your yelling had got your siblings to rush in the room, wanting to see what the commotion was about.

Rei's eyes shifted from you to Enji, looking at him for help, before they returned back to you. She took a deep breath before speaking. "Y/n, darling. What's wrong?" You scoffed at her soft tone that tried to quell the storm of negative emotions bubbling inside you. "What's wrong? What's wrong? I don't know, you tell me, Rei. Why the fuck am I bald?!" Your head was pounding with rage, raw unbridled anger.

When Rei didn't say anything, Fuyumi stepped forward to help her out. "Y/n its-"

"Shut up."

Fuyumi's- everyone's eyes widened. Of everyone, you never even rose your voice at your favourite sibling. But to hear your voice turn so cold towards her, it shocked everyone. "Y-Y/n-" she tried again but you cut her off. "I said shut up. I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to Rei and she'll answer for herself."

Enji placed a hand on your shoulder, pulling you back slightly. "Have some respect. She's your mother-" You yanked your shoulder away from his grip. "No, she's not!" You inhaled deeply, trying to stabilise your voice. "No, she's not. You're not my dad. I'm not a part of this family. And I'm so sick of playing this game."

Dabi's eyes narrowed. "Stop being an ungrateful brat. You've been given all the luxuries one could only imagine, spoiled to no end-" You laughed. "Did I ask for anything?" "You never had t-" "And all these luxuries that you're talking about, I didn't get them for free. I had to give up a lot. No, wait-" you laughed again, tears blurring your vision. "I didn't give up anything. You all took it. Yeah, all of you snatched everything away from me. My family, my friends, my privacy, my sanity, everything. And you-" you moved towards Rei, pointing a finger at her. "You have been the most greedy one of them all."

Rei's jaw fell open, as she shook her head. "No-" You shook your head.

"Yes! I gave you everything. I let you dress me up in those god awful clothes, feed me whatever you wanted, stick to your side like glue because you don't like it when I was out of your sight for a more than a few minutes. For fucks sake, I didn't even go to college this year because you weren't ready to see me become an adult!" You ran a frustrated hand through your hair. "I played into your sick little fantasy. I let you treat me like a child, talk to me like I'm some helpless baby. I let you touch me even though it disgusted me to no end. I never even complained when you gave me ice burns because I was throwing a tantrum." You looked at the rest of your family, and they were shocked to hear that last bit. You smiled cruelly at them. "Yeah, you didn't know that did you?"

Rei was crying herself by now, as she reached out for you once again but you moved away. "I let you have everything. All I wanted was this little bit of freedom, for my own sanity. But you couldn't stomach that could you?" Your head hung low, your tears hitting the floor.

"Why do you have to be so selfish?"

Your voice held so much pain and defeat. Rei couldn't help but engulf you in her arms, wrapping herself around you tightly before you could even protest. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She cried out. "I- I promise I'll fix this! Yes. I-I've already gotten you some new hair oils! They say that they'll help you grow 6 inches in a month! Oh and Natsuo also brought some stuff for hair growth! Some vitamins and- Natsuo whats that spray called? Minoxy? Mi-minoxidil! Yes! He said that'll help you grow your hair in no time! Doesn't that sound nice? You'll have long hair like before!" Rei pushed back to look at you. You couldn't believe it.

"Are you- are you really that delusional?" Your voice was so soft, almost like you would break any moment now. "Are you so blind to see what you're doing to me?" Your eyes held so much pain and confusion. "Sweetie, don't worry- mommy will take such good care-" You pushed Rei away from you, your anger rolling back in full speed. "YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER!" You shrieked. "Y/n-" Shotou tried to interject. "I'm not a part of your fucking family."

Enji stepped towards you. "Calm down."

You looked at him. "You said that what happened was an accident. What will you do if another one happens? And you're not around this time to save me? Hmm? What will you do? Continue playing house with my dead body?!"

Rei's sobs shook her body. "Shut up. Think before you say stupid shit like that." Dabi spoke this time, moving to stand between you and his mother. "Or what? You're going to hurt me? More the reason why all of you, but especially you-" you pointed at Rei "deserve to be in that nuthouse-!"

You were on the floor before you could even process what had happened. Had you- had you fallen? But when the searing pain of the burn on your cheek came alive and you looked at his hand that had erupted in blue flames, you realised what had happened.

Dabi slapped you.

"Y/n!"

Your cheek felt like someone had placed a hot iron on it, the sting spreading to your entire cheek, but you were far too shocked to care about the pain.

Dabi slapped me.

Shotou, Natsuo and Fuyumi quickly rushed to your side, picking you up and out of the room, while Dabi stood there in stunned as his own hand throbbed. The image of his handprint branded on your scared face wasn't going to leave his mind anytime soon.

Enji hesitated, looking at his wife and son in disbelief, before leaving the room to look for you.

Rei walked towards Dabi and smacked his arm. "What did you do?!" She yelled at him. He opened his mouth to explain but nothing came out.

"She's your little sister, Touya! W-why would you do that?!" Rei scolded him.

He hurt you. Like Enji hurt Rei.

He hurt you.

Rei sighed before closing her eyes and engulfing Dabi in her arms. "Its okay. Its not your fault." She rubbed his back soothingly. "It was an accident, wasn't it?"

Dabi wrapped his arms around his mother, burying his face in her neck, before nodding.

"Yes. It was an accident."

So... how was it?

[a-hobit]

My super factual—unarguable— opinions about what Peter is the most “Peter” Peter.

Now to list my accomplishments the make me the best judge of this contest : because I said so.

(Seriously this is all my own opinion about the most recent or most well known variations of “Peter Parker”. I’m not judging on how close they are to emulating the 1960’s version of peter but the like face or personality that just screams “I am a good boy — killing people is never ok — Guilt complex a mile wide — beating yourself up for mistakes — who needs therapy when you have quips???” Kinda stuff!)

Aight to the list! Top to bottom is “worst” to “best” since all peters are still so good in their own ways.

6# At the very bottom of my list is sadly the Peter Parker from “The Amazing Spiderman” comics from around 2014 — present. Two words. Tony Vibes. I don’t hate him and as “spider-man” he is quite literally perfect but when out of the mask Peter is just somehow arrogant?? Super confusing because he never says anything that I’m like “ugh” at its just how he’s portrayed by the artists i guess. He’s too confident and acts so much like Tony he basically is Tony. Also uh who hurt the artist who decided that they would draw him like THIS??? Not cute. AT ALL. I’m aware that he’s like 30 something in the run but he looks like Clark Kent not Peter. I really dislike him but its really evened out by how well Spider-Man is written. They’re almost like two completely different people which is SO annoying. He also weirdly “hits” on women (not in a disrespectful way)? Not inherently a bad thing but it just doesn’t feel right. It’s a no from me.

5# It pains me to put him 2nd from last Peter B. Parker is Peter to the MAX but old and super tired. My gripe is not with his personality but with his design! Too long! The head is too long. I don’t know why but when i think of Peter and Spider-Man the head shape is not even close to this. I actually really really love how his personality is in the movie — he’s just so sad its hard to watch but he’s SO Peter. Beating himself up about his break up with Mary Jane and just losing his will to go on anymore. He feels like he has nobody that really cares or needs him anymore so he’s lost most of the sweet and innocent “everyone deserves a second chance” for everyone but himself most of all. The scene with Mary Jane in the ballroom is AMAZING such a Peter thing to do — foot in mouth syndrome — he wants so badly to not fail another person he cares about he’s so awkward and earnest. Ughhhhh I love him his personality is one of my favorites but the design kills me.

4#…I’m sorry I know this is now getting a little mean but his head! It’s the wrong shapeeee. I’m aware I’m so shallow but there are other reasons why he’s lower on the list i promise. Didn’t really like how Peter skateboarded? Not sure why it just doesn’t suit the polite sweet science nerd who can barely get a word out without the stutter or an apology. There are so many things that I love about the way that Andrew portrays Peter’s personality. He gets the nervous PERFECT. He’s fidgety and so earnest it hurts. He cares so much its so good. Also of the live action spider-man he NAILS the kinda mean quips and jokes that Peter is known for. Constantly cracking jokes and being super annoying is exactly how peter is as spider-man so I really really love Andrew’s personality interpretation. It’s SO good i could talk forever he got totally screwed with the script but he killed it.

3# Now I am aware that my fondness for the Tobey spider-man has no limit. I love him so much and he really got me through a bad childhood buuuutt his spider-man? I hate to say it is SO BAD. No jokes?? He’s too straight laced both as peter and as spider-man so he never really feels like “Peter”. His face shape and sweet shy demeanor? AHGHHHHGH ITS SO FUCKING CUTE. He’s so awkward!! His face does all these movements that make me think “oh my god he’s so out of it he’s so nervous i love him he’s such a good guy”. He just makes me think this guy really is innocent enough to believe not only that he can win against any of his enemies but also that everyone deserves that second chance. This is so important to me for a Spider-Man and peter to have a belief that is so strong held nothing could ever shake his belief. Maybe someone could make peter doubt his ability but never his morals. That’s what makes him such a good Peter Parker.

2# You wouldn’t have been able to hear me say this before “No Way Home” because i really disliked the MCU Peter AND Spider-Man interpretation. It was not good at all. Somehow he was too geeky but not nerdy enough??? Does that make sense? He never really felt guilty about ditching his friends and responsibilities to be Spider-Man which is so important???? Like why is he just “eh” when he hurts anyone emotionally and ditches things he wanted to do like the group he was in Homecoming. It really started to tick me off. Peter as a person shouldn’t be that way so Tom never felt right to me. Then the fucking sun that was no way home made Peter so MISERABLE and i finally got to see him be selfless. Being spider-man is probably the most thankless job in the entire world and Peter just accepted that and more. He didn’t just fix the mistakes he made that affected him but by sacrificing his own happiness both involuntarily and then voluntary at the end he fixed the mistakes of people he believed in. It. Was. Perfect. I was so shocked that it as so good that i had the same kind of “this can’t be real” feeling i got during Sherlock season 4 LMAO except No Way Home was the complete opposite of that shit show. When Peter moved into that shitty apartment at the end with his GED book i sobbed and thought that he’s got to be the best live action spider-man just for that one fucking moment. God. Incredible.

Now last but never fucking least is my favorite Spider-Man interpretation in the entire world…

1# The PS5 video game!! I can not sing the praises of this game enough it just oozes love for Spider-Man and Peter Parker. His face? PERFECT SO FUCKING PERFECT I COULD AND DO CRY ABOUT IT. The expressions are incredible. Peter is definitely confident and nerdy and sweet and kind and he has that crazy moral compass that no body can beat. He just — screaming, crying, sobbing I can’t even mention all the things i love about this man right here he IS Peter Parker and Spider-Man which is so hard to write its insane. He is devastated when he can’t bear his real life responsibilities and be a super hero at the same time and that is just!!!!!! No words only noises. Also he is just so funny i laugh at his terrible jokes whenever i play the game because they land so well because they’re super annoying and so bad. The worst dad jokes you’ve ever heard. I love himmm.

[harrowharkboygf]

rating the locked tomb characters by how good their met gala outfits would be

gideon nav

we can surmise from the “rapier with skulls puking other skulls” quote that gideon’s personal style, if she wasn’t beholden to the ninth house dress code, would be Loud and Tacky and A Lot. therefore, i think she’ll go all out with the theme. her outfit might not look objectively good per se — it will probably be a little too excessive and not super classy — but she will absolutely fulfill the theme and she will have fun, and that’s the most important part! 9/10

harrowhark nonagesimus

oh harrow will go all in on this. she will definitely be of the opinion that all guests should have to submit an essay explaining exactly how their outfit fits the theme, and she absolutely will get annoyed at the people who just wore simple black tuxes and dresses. she‘ll start planning her outfit months in advance, and it’s going to be incredibly complicated and very symbolic. her outfit is probably be a lot creepier and more goth than the rest of the guests, but it’ll still go perfectly with the theme anyways. 10/10

ortus nigenad

how much effort ortus puts into his outfit will depend SOLELY on what the theme was. if he thinks it’s a stupid theme he’ll put in zero energy whatsoever, and if he thinks it’s a good theme he will put in the work and come out with an outfit that’s definitely creative, even if it doesn’t look super great and is a little bit of a stretch on the theme. 7/10

judith deuteros

judith definitely does not care. she does not care at all, and if you asked her what the theme was, she couldn’t even tell you. she wears a simple black tux or black dress every year, and yes she looks hot as fuck and very classy and all of the gay girls on twitter go wild over it, but it’s not particularly creative or befitting of the theme. 3/10

marta dyas

marta cares a lot more than judith does, but she still focuses more on the event itself than the outfit; she’s more excited to dance, talk with her friends and acquaintances, and see other people’s outfits. if the met gala didn’t have a theme, she’d still be happy, but since it does, she’ll try to fit the theme as best she can! she refuses to sacrifice her own comfort or ability to dance in favor of an outfit though, which is very fair of her. no matter what, though, she looks good! 6/10

coronabeth tridentarius

oh you KNOW corona is acing this. she starts planning for her outfit a year in advance, but unlike harrow, she’s way less pretentious about it and willing to do something that might make fun of herself a little or make others laugh. she makes sure to call everyone she knows who’s going to make sure that their outfits won’t be too similar. she also makes sure that ianthe and babs’ outfits go good with hers. it’s the bane of her existence that judith won’t go to the lengths that she does. she fits the theme perfectly, she’s creative about it, and she looks hot as fuck. 100/10

ianthe tridentarius

as mentioned above, ianthe’s outfit is always designed to fit with coronabeth’s. it’s always very similar — not quite the same, but very close. same idea, slightly different execution. it’s always fitting with the theme, and looks really good objectively, but there’s a lack of investment and heart that ruins it a bit, especially next to corona’s extravaganza. still, when she’s next to the other guests, she definitely wins. 8/10

naberius tern

babs cares WAY more about looking good than he does about fitting the theme. his outfit is always a lot less creative than and themed than ianthe’s and corona’s. he never sidesteps the theme entirely, but he often refuses to go all the way in favor of not looking too weird. this is kind of a moot point, since he always looks a little weird anyway. 5.5/10

isaac tettares & jeannemary chatur

the awful teens were coordinating outfits each year, and each year they desperately want to fit the theme and do something cool, but they’re a little TOO eager about it. there’s always either a little bit too much going on with their outfits for the message to be fully cohesive, OR they didn’t go all the way because they were too embarrassed to do so. however, they definitely try their best and that’s what matters! 7.5/10

abigail pent & magnus quinn

abigail and magnus treat the met gala like a halloween party. they’re committed to the theme, but not in the militant, obsessive way that harrow and coronabeth are — it’s more that they have fun planning their coordinating outfits because costumes are fun! often their take on the theme is very nerdy and sweet, but maybe not super well done. still, they compliment everyone on their outfits and are so genuine about it that they get points anyway. 7/10

palamedes sextus

pal could honestly care less about the met gala, but he attends anyway and spends the whole night deep in conversation with anyone who will talk science with him. as such, his outfit is. Very Lacking. cam usually designs it for him and it fits the theme pretty well and looks objectively good, but he gets points off for not coming up with it himself. 5/10

camilla hect

pal and cam don’t wear coordinated outfits, but they are still somewhat cohesive, as cam plans them both. camilla’s outfit is definitely much better than palamedes’ is — it fits the theme and is more creative and she just generally looks hotter. however, she’s not putting the same level of energy most of the people listed above. but it’s fun, it looks good, and she passes the test. 7/10

dulcinea septimus

dulcie’s attitude towards the met gala would be very similar to magnus and abigail’s in that she treats it like a fun opportunity rather than a life-or-death situation, but she definitely leans more “tasteful” over magnus and abigail’s typical style of “dorky”. she follows the theme closely and she looks good! 8/10

protesilaus ebdoma

pro always goes with dulcie, and he just dresses in an outfit that she’s planned to be coordinated with hers. he’s a little bemused at the intensity of some of the others, but he goes along with the whole thing because it makes dulcie happy. points off for not coming up with his own idea, points added for looking very dashing regardless. ortus is fuming at how well-put-together his outfit is. 5/10

silas octakiseron

silas shares the same all-or-nothing attitude that ortus has towards the theme, but when he approves of the theme, his execution comes very close to beating out harrow’s outfit in terms of Drama and Sophistication. his outfits are often a little impractical — they’re hard to walk in or require elaborate props to be transported alongside him — but they’re worth it. 9/10

colum asht

colum just wears a suit the same color as whatever silas’ outfit is that year. boring! 2/10

augustine the first

augustine tries his hardest, but he never quite nails the theme. somehow, it always goes straight over his head, so when he explains it to people, they’re always like “*confused head tilt* hmmm, okay now i think i get it! huh!” he looks,,, fine in it, and he tries. he tries! 4/10

mercymorn the first

mercy’s sense of style in general is very good, so she always comes in a dress that’s fashionable and well-designed. the problem is that she actively abhors the idea of a themed party; she actively campaigns to the organizers each year to not do a theme. she thinks that everyone who does the theme is ridiculous. as such, she ends up with a low 3/10

cytherea the first

cytherea has a good Idea for the met gala every year, but for some reason — she bites off more than she can chew or she fails to accurately articulate her vision or she procrastinates until the last minute — that idea never translates into an actual outfit, so she always falls back on a simple, soft clinging dress. fashionable, but unfortunately not very standout-ish. 3.5/10

gideon the first

gideon (original flavor) just wears a boring black suit every year. THE most boring black suit ever. 1/10

pyrrha dve

okay, admittedly we haven’t seen that much of pyrrha in canon, but from what we do know, she is smart and talented and funny and good at everything and has a dramatic streak and is incredibly hot. therefore, i think we can surmise that she’ll absolutely nail her met gala outfit. it’ll fit the theme, it’ll be very original and very well-done, and she’ll be sexy as fuck! good for her! 15/10

john gaius

he wears the exact same black tux every year. the same one. he pays no attention to the theme whatsoever. this is very confusing, since HE is the one who organizes the met gala and picks the theme! weirdo! even worse, john makes a point to give backhanded compliments to people he thinks don’t fit the theme or don’t look good. bitch! -10/10

[earnestly-endlessly]

kind of an odd request — do you have fics where erik is grumpy with everyone else but a ray of sunshine with charles?

Hi anon, thank you for the ask. First and foremost, I'm so sorry for how long this took me but I've been searching for all the fics that come to mind that fit your request. Second, this is not an odd request because I love this trope so much. I mean, it's basically canon that he's grumpy with everyone except for his Charles, right? Anyway, I might add to this list later on, but I can't sit on this any longer and hope that you have found some fics that you enjoy!!

Fic Recs Where Erik is grumpy with everyone but a ray of sunshine with Charles

Twice as Blind – Darksknight

Summary: Erik is probably the biggest asshole on the face of the earth, and because of this, he'll probably die alone. Charles is a complete flirt and playboy and, probably, will never commit to anyone ever.

(The lesson here is that when you have two friends who are BOTH secretly seeing someone, well, it's probable that they're seeing each other.)

In the moonlight, on a joy ride – scarlettblush

Summary: Librarian AU. Charles is the young librarian and Erik is the college student who is completely besotted with him.

The Proper Care of Actors – Clear_Liqueur, Clocks, Etherei, afrocurl

Summary: Erik is an A-list action star who is notoriously difficult to work with, until the day he gets cast alongside Charles Xavier, rom-com darling who can charm the pants off movie audiences the world over and apparently even one Erik Lehnsherr. The paparazzi catch them out and about soon enough, and their real-life Hollywood movie romance becomes instant tabloid fodder.

Rumor Mill – ikeracity

Summary: Erik is the grumpiest, most foul tempered worker at Stark industries. His grumpiness is the stuff of legends.

So it's obviously the talk of the office when Erik is being made to go to the company party and he's bringing his husband. There's rumors flying round about how much of a masochist or equally antisocial bastard Erik's husband must be to put up with him. Others think he must be a meek mouse perhaps bullied by Erik.

What they weren't expecting was the confident, charming, adorable and unbelievably nice Charles that turns up on Erik's arm. What they certainly weren't expecting was how much Erik obviously adores his husband and how happy he is to let others see this.

Work/Life Balance – pocky_slash

Summary: Alex is pretty sure his weird, anti-social boss is a robot. Right up until the guy's adorable husband shows up. His adorable husband who happens to be a famous actor. His adorable husband who happens to be the very same famous actor who was the source of many of Alex's teenage fantasies.

Terrifying Domesticity – ishipitsobad

Summary: Erik is the most dangerous and notorious mafia boss around for miles, and yet the strangest things terrify him.

For example: his children, and his very pregnant mate.

Of kittens and teacups and love – Ren

Summary: Modern AU in which Charles and Erik are flatmates. Charles studies psychology and likes tea and chess and keeps bringing home stray kittens, and Erik lets him because he's maybe perhaps a little bit sort of in love with him.

Fools Rush In – LoveSupreme

Summary: Erik owns a cafe on the edge of campus and accidentally starts maybe-stalking a Biology Professor there.

Growing Pains – ikeracity

Summary: Twelve-year-old Erik Lehnsherr is an angry, closed-off foster kid with trust issues and a bad temper. Ten-year-old Charles Xavier is a lonely kid in boarding school who just wants a friend.

Logan pretends he doesn't think they're both fucking adorable.

Series

Home Together (The Finding Our Way Remix) – significantowl

Summary: Erik is not the sort of person other students strike up conversations with. His expression, his posture, every part of his manner say: Don’t talk to me. I don’t want to talk to you. But none of that stops the boy ahead of him in line with the collapsible white cane, and nothing can stop Erik from falling for him, like it or not.

Melted Ice Cream and Macaroni Art – pocky_slash

Summary: Everybody likes Charles. Nobody likes Erik. And that's really the source of Erik's doubts. Also, there's ice cream and a baby. Part of ‘the Daycare’ verse.

Walling in or Walling Out – stlkrchck

Summary: Erik stifles a sigh. Of course this is Mr. C. F. Xavier. Of course.

For the prompt: Charles and Raven are throwing a holiday party. Erik is the grumpy neighbor who is annoyed by how loud they are being. So he goes to complain, and Charles makes it up to him.

(Wise Men Say) Only Fools Rush In – wildelybroken

Summary: After reading a fic where Erik and Charles are super sluts, meet at what is presumably Raven and Emma's engagement party, and end up sleeping together, I made the following comment and just inspired myself.

"They start casually texting each other throughout the day, maybe while they’re bored or frustrated at work, and start out meeting up and sleeping together semi-frequently. And eventually they accidentally start dating without noticing it at first, not until Raven and Emma get them alone and are like “wtf you two super sluts are actually dating??” And at first they deny, but then they’re both like “holy shit, we are!” And they meet back at one of their places and they don’t have to say anything, they just look at each other and come together immediately, kissing passionately and ~making love~. In the middle of it they realise that’s what they’ve been doing for a long time now and they confess their love to each other and they live happily ever after because they deserve all the good in the world."

For Charles – Shigai

Summary: Tired of being told he has to find his 'heart', classical piano graduate Erik Lehnsherr decides to travel to Italy and drink from the famous Italian passion for music. While searching for it, he meets Charles Xavier, a graduate in Fine Arts who is basically travelling around the world perfectioning his technique, and who will turn his world upside down.

Together they will discover that, sometimes, what you thought you didn't need is what you needed the most.

Erik Hates People – Anonymous

Summary: Erik hates people- it's his rule, a way of living.

Sugar – humanitys_cutest

Summary: Erik glances at the clock for what feels like the tenth time in less than half the minutes. It feels like he's been in some meeting or other since the day started almost 10 hours ago, and he's had just about enough of listening to these pompous old men discuss what would be the best design for his building like they know anything about it. He tries as subtly as possible to massage his temples to assuage the building migraine, but he knows it's no use.

He just wants to go home.

Everyone Likes Charles – Rosawyn

Summary: '“Everyone who's met him likes him.” Cain's grin was even stupider than before. “Once you meet him, you'll see.”

It was almost like a challenge then. And damn. Erik hated saying no to a challenge.'

Still Going Strong – JackyJango

Summary: Speaking of forty-eight, Erik hates it. Hates it even more that others are aware of it. While he’s pragmatic enough to know and accept that aging is inexorable, the increase in number gives the people around him the freedom to pounce at him with questions, opinions and advice he'd fought to keep at bay all year.

Besides, Erik believes that youth is a state of mind, not a phase in one’s life.

You have a child’s mind in a man’s body, Charles constantly tells him.

But despite his age, Erik is healthy. He works out daily. His muscles are steel and he can dead-lift four hundred pounds. He can break bones without breaking a sweat. Most importantly, he can still carry Charles to the bedroom and fuck him senseless. And as long as Erik can do that, he’s perfectly happy.

All I know is pouring rain and everything has changed – hllfire

Summary: Charles meets Erik, the man he had heard about many times from his sister and some friends, on a rainy Sunday morning. The stories about Erik paint him as a distant and intimidating man, but Charles finds out that maybe the stories had been wrong.

How to Successfully Ruin Your Life – humanveil

Summary: Seventeen-year-old Charles Xavier accepts a job at his local café, expecting nothing more than a fun, new pastime. What he gets is a mysterious customer and a schoolboy crush.

Stolen – ishipitsobad

Summary: Erik is a miserable, grumpy, cantankerous bastard, and he has every fucking right to be. He drew the short end of the stick when he got the Underworld as his domain, and there isn't very much fun to be had in judging and governing dead souls who would rather be anywhere else but with Erik in the depths of Hell.

So when he meets Charles, brilliant and lovely Charles who is more popularly known amongst the mortals as Persephone, and feels the promise of something wonderful that could make his eternally doomed existence infinitely more bearable... you can bet all your drachmas Erik's not going to let Charles go any fucking time soon.

Erik Lehnsherr's Guide to Saving the Universe By Meeting Your Soul-Mate and Falling in Love in Less than 72 Hours – magneto, pangea

Summary:Army Pilot Erik Lehnsherr is just trying to enjoy his day off when a mostly naked person crashes through the roof of his car. Even more alarming, the strange falling naked person—who goes by Charles Xavier when he's not speaking an ancient dead language—brings tidings of the apparent potential end of the world, and begs Erik to help him put a stop to it.

Well. His mother has been nagging at him to go out and meet new people.

The Theory of Partnership Dynamics – Pangea

Summary: “Detective Lehnsherr, how wonderful to see you out on the job!” The fed in the front greets him as they draw nearer. He’s shorter than the other two by a full head, and he’s beaming at Lehnsherr as if completely undeterred by Lehnsherr’s paint-peeling scowl.

“What do the feds want?” Lehnsherr asks bluntly.

“You know I can’t tell you that,” the fed answers cheerfully. Then his gaze lands on Alex, and, impossibly, his grin gets even brighter. “Did you get a new partner?"

“No,” Lehnsherr says through his teeth while at the same time Alex says, “Yes.”