#but the bechdel test post made me think about it again and

[cyberphuck]

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(tumblr cut off MOST of my tags in this, thanks Tumblr)

[bewires]

oppenheimer criticisms I haven't seen but think would be fair:

-choice to have 90% of florence pugh's screentime being "hysterical topless woman"

-movie does not pass bechdel test at all; otoh it is a historical biopic representing the life of a man to whose field of study very few women had access at the time and the movie makes a point to show those women gaining access. like. it's not a movie about women at all, and I doubt I will see nolan make such a movie ever, but beyond florence pugh's character there are some good and nuanced moments in there especially with emily blunt but also with minor characters

-early sequences of tortured baby oppenheimer dreaming the beauty of physics are very overwrought

-choice to not shoot on location in germany (look this one is just for me I have been to all the places oppenheimer studied (I am not a theoretical physics fangirl but I know several) and the only place they chose not to actually film in person is göttingen which I take personal offense at)

-they cast matthias schweighöfer in a hollywood movie. no excuses for that one tbh.

oppenheimer criticisms I have seen and think are unfair

-"nolan can't make a good war movie" bc he will not make an intersectional war movie. potentially accurate in re dunkirk, which I didn't see bc I don't like war movies, but in this case he did not make a war movie, he made a historical biopic. the war is relevant, obviously, but the movie is not at all about the battlefield or the front, it is about the life of a physicist, and yes, it's not very intersectional.

-the effects of the a-bomb on the people of japan are not given due diligence. I understand people disagreeing about this but I have also seen several posts of people going "I won't watch this but I bet it doesn't" and uh. I think it does. I think every moment in this movie after the trinity test is entirely about oppenheimer realizing the impact of his research and it is shown several times, excruciatingly, how aware he is of what the effects of the a-bomb were. we do not see the bomb, nor do we see japan, because again, it is a historical biopic about this one dude and he wasn't there. this is also the first time I have seen a mainstream hollywood movie make repeat and pointed note of the fact that in a military sense the use of a-bombs in japan was not necessary.

-movie is pro-war/glorifies the a-bomb/glorifies oppenheimer. I think the strongest case you can make is that it glorifies the a-bomb because movie splosions are cool. but I also think the movie's biggest strength is its ambiguity. whose fault is it there was an a-bomb? is it oppenheimer's? he sure thinks so! is it einstein's? he sure thinks so at least indirectly! is it the american government's? they sure think so and they're proud of it (all of these according to the various chracters of this movie). is it a good thing they developed the a-bomb? several characters have several differing opinions on this! oppenheimer himself seems very divided and unsure by the end of the movie and cannot make a judgment call. in the end (much like with cillian murphy's other iconic character who wears a hat cough cough) if people walk out of this movie as fans of the character or his actions imo that's on them and not on the authorship of the movie

[witchbugs]

hello beloved mutuals u’ll never guess what character this post is about. to celebrate the episode betty’s ten year anniversary of existence here is a annotation of sorts (?) of my betty playlist (<- talking to empty audience) warning this makes increasingly less sense

starting off strong with betty (a little bit of madness) by half shy !!!!! we dont appreciate this song enough THERE IS A SONG ABT HER !!!!!! BY SOMEONE WHO WROTE MUSIC FOR THE SHOW :3 dont even have to say anything abt this one

THE MOON WILL SING BY THE CRANE WIVES. ITS THE. THE I COULD HAVE BEEN ANYONE ELSE. I SPENT SO MUCH TIME DEDICATED TO SIMON IM NOT SURE THERES EVEN ANY ME LEFT ANYMORE. shaking like a rabid dog do we get the vision

the deal by mitski !! this one is just sooo betty fusing with golb ok trust me

& by tally hall!! this one is solely for the outro tbh 😭 BIG BAD BETTY OF THE POCALYPSE, SHE OPENS HER LIPS AND IT GOES LIKE THIS ‼️🔥🔥

I BET ON LOSING DOGS BY MITSKI. GODDD THIS IS THE ONE THAT MADE ME WANNA MAKE THIS POST. III BET ON LOSING DOGSS, I KNOW THEYRE LOSING AND I PAY FOR MY PLACE BY THE RING. simon/ice king ok. are we seeing the vision. and dont even get me STARTEDDD on i always want u when im finally fine… ITS THE WAY SIMON WAS INSANE AND WHEN HE WAS FINALLY HIMSELF AGAIN SHE WAS GONE. EATING GLASS. and FINALLY the SOMEONE TO WATCH ME DIE. GODDDD.

curses by the crane wives! I JUST THINK IT FITS OK :3 the devils after both of ussss OUGHGUH

no eyed girl by lemon demon, gonna be so real idk how to explain this one. we’re just vibing

i’m your man by mitski. yes theres a lot of mitski. this is on my petrigrof playlist as well and i think it could be from either pov tbh. LIKE the first verse is betty i think and the second is simon’s suicidal ass in fionna and cake

running up that hill (a deal with god) by kate bush :3 this ones just OBVIOUSSS id make a deal with god… GET HIM TO SWAP OUR PLACES…..

my girlfriend is a witch by october country ! just for sillies. magic betty ily forever and ever

love, me normally by will wood! dont know how to explain this one either tbh bc will wood lyrics scramble my brain but in a pleasant way. idk i just think shes full of autism and also magic insanity

sick of losing soulmates by dodie! OUGHGHG. another more petrigrof centered one but mannn . I CAN FINALLY SEE UR AS FUCKED UP AS ME SO HOW DO WE WIN. I WONT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. lighting myself on fire

death thrice dawn by the scary jokes! ngl i dont remember adding this one but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ tossing this verse at u

wife by mitski!!!! is this a stretch. idc idc. ur home to mee if i am not urs what am iiii

goodbye, my danish sweetheart by mitski !! guhh magic betty and “i’m sure that uve seen what its done to my heart” and “im not the girl i ought to be” and “you can tell them what u saw in me and not the way i am” ☹️ ANDDD could we just be what we’re meant to be, im just about to beg u pleaseew ☹️💔

i guess by mitski GODDDD so proud of her for moving on and idk learning to pass the bechdel test i GUESS but im GOINJ TO EAT FIBERGLASS

ANDDD THATS THE END !!! FOR NOW !!! there will be more songs on this playlist later :3 if u read this ily and i will probably do this w/ my petrigrof playlist at some point :3

[joys-of-everyday]

MXTX's women

Let's do ✨discourse™✨

Addendum: I checked out twitter (x now?) for the first time in ages and... um... maybe this isn't a good time for discourse. But hey, I love mxtx so I'm just going to do a Shen Yuan and pretend absolutely everything is fine.

I feel like a lot of the discourse around MXTX and sexism don't hit the mark? Things like 'there are few female characters', 'the female characters die', 'the female characters don't hold positions of power' are not indications as to whether a piece of work standing on its own is sexist. For example, you could write an entire novel about a sexless robot (which miserably fails the Bechdel test because there is only one character) and that says nothing about whether the work itself is sexist. This is an caricature of an example and of course, overall trends give a very different picture to individual works, so its not to take such works off the hook either. Similarly, including sexist troupes isn't inherently sexist, but equally arguing something is a 'critique' isn't a shield against criticism. Critique can be done badly, critique can become outdated, critique itself can be critiqued.

But equally the counterargument to this can't entirely be 'but look at x, y, and z - aren't they great female characters?'. Look, I love mxtx's women. I can write essays (plural) about mxtx's women. Many people already have. Then again, Eowyn from lotr is arguably a pretty deep character, but I would have problems if lotr was the best example of female representation we could come up with. The point being, the existence (or lack thereof) of strong female characters isn't (entirely) the point, even though it's often made out to be. Don't get me wrong, good female representation without strong female characters is... erm... hard. But if it was the crux of the argument, the discourse could be killed in three tumblr posts.

The bigger question(s) (possibly) is: What is its intent? How is that intent received?

SVSSS, MDZS, and TGCF are all extremely different pieces of work. SVSSS in particular stands out, because at its heart, it is satire. While debates around what kind of comedy is and isn't good exist independently of SVSSS, needless to say, judging satire in the same way you would say a murder mystery or a romantic fantasy is not advisable. Sha Hualing is a sexy demon lady whose clothes rip off in the middle of a battle. Why? Because that's saying something about a particular trope of a particular genre.

(Side note: I have opinions on how we shove different BLs together when they really shouldn't be under the same umbrella and how this muddies the discourse unnecessarily. I'm talking about Killing Stalking btw)

For SVSSS, if you get it, you get it (it's impossible to read without understanding this). While some loose threads exist about how female characters could have been more developed... man, do you know how much development my boy Mu Qingfang got? You're not sexist if you punch everyone (only half ironic here). (In terms of character development I also think this might be a fandom thing as well as a SVSSS thing.) But I think more relevantly, SVSSS tells you something about the way MXTX writes critique.

If you didn't notice, SVSSS is critique on two levels. First is the blatant critique of the harem genre, and the second is more subtle critique on BL, on fandoms, on webnovels, on literature. But while we get Shen Qingqiu's commentary guiding us through the first bit, this drops during the second bit. It takes Shen Qingqiu so long to realise that what he's living through is a crazy mishmash of BL tropes that the only narration you get on this is Pure Confusion. To realise Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu's early interactions is commentary on the 'dark and obsessive love' trope, you need to immediately realise that Shen Qingqiu telling you Luo Binghe is trying to kill him is just... Wrong. So (possibly, ofc I've no idea what's going on in the author's head) the intent is critique. But intent is meaningless without it being conveyed to the reader. So how are we meant to 'realise' what is going on?

Firstly, MXTX tells you. Shen Qingqiu goes: 'damn Luo Binghe isn't acting like in those weird danmei novels' and you're meant to go 'oh weird danmei novels I know about those'. Second is her very obvious use of tropes (even flagged!). 'Clothes rip/disappear in the middle of a serious situation, isn't this weird? Where have we seen that before?'. And thirdly, by introducing a sense of absurdity. Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu's relationship is presented in such an unconventional way (the master-disciple pair which generated a famous porno!) that it forces you to engage with it critically.

Okay, so what does that have to do with sexism? Take MDZS. We have a set of very tropey characters - 'the older sister', 'the scary mother', 'the strong independent woman', 'the damsel in distress'. We have explorations and subversions that go beyond tropes: Jiang Yanli's character shaped by her experiences in an abuse household, Yu Ziyuan's pride and loyalty, Wen Qing's well... everything, and Mianmian needs no explanation. We have flags to tell us we are meant to care about these issues: most obviously Mianmian experiencing gendered harassment for speaking up. All the women die! Yeah, isn't that a problem. Because it's the women sacrificing themselves, women silently taking on burdens, women chained by the circumstances of the world around them and still making choices about what is important to them (and it's often not themselves). The women aren't in positions of power/aren't shown to be as competent as the men! They're literally put down when they speak up, and don't the wives have a great time with their husbands. MDZS is critique of society. MDZS's women too are a critique of the society they (we) live in.

But not all critique is good critique! The first way that critique can fail is if it just isn't registered as critique by the reader. And this isn't always on the reader. If the author isn't clear enough on this, then they have failed to execute the intent of their work. And to this extent, I've heard enough people say that MDZS is maybe sexist as a first reaction (myself included) to think that yeah, maybe this wasn't well done. The flags are scarce. The subversions of tropes are subtle enough to be missed in it's entirety. Then again, MDZS often ends up as people's gateway piece into danmei, when it is probably better understood with more context - for me, coming back to MDZS after a big BL reading spree was exceptionally enlightening. As to whether it could have been better done in the bounds of the genre, without detracting from the banging story it was... I honestly don't know.

One way to go about it is, well... TGCF. Here everything is laid out to you to an almost bizarre degree. 'Look, isn't this a Hard Question' the narrative stops to tell you at multiple points, from Bai Wuxiang and Xie Lian's back and forths, to 'I don't know if what I did was right' speeches on a regular basis (maybe not regular but it was enough to notice). The troupes are still there but their twists are far more obvious. Xuan Ji is the 'deranged woman' who is (we are told multiple times) surprisingly normal and competent when she isn't around Pei Ming. Yushi Huang and Banyue are just obviously strong, competent, and in positions of power. Shi Qingxuan shines in all of her wonder, kindness, and unfortune. The flags are more glaring as well: Just Pei Ming's Existence, Ling Wen's whole backstory, Jian Lan's tragedy... And it probably worked? Since people seem to complain significantly less about any supposed sexism of TGCF.

Do I like it? I like elements of it. Ling Wen is honestly great.

But I love the subtlety with which MDZS weaves its themes and tbh I think some of the magic was lost there. (I love TGCF to bits for different reasons but yeah)

Does MXTX's writing of women merit discussion? Of course, everything merits discussion. Particularly MXTX's works which rely so heavily on genre tropes to craft themes. Is MXTX's work sexist? Idk, I would say no, but these things are Hard Questions.

But my feeling? My true feeling? At the very least, it is So. Much. Better. than a huge amount of work that tries to be feminist and pitifully fails.

My current pet peeve is the 'strong independent woman'. Depicting a sexist society then including a 'strong independent women' with no true appreciation of the realistic struggles she would face, as if the only barriers that we face within these societies is to stop being a loser... is worse in my books than not including any women at all. Or 'strong independent women' who turn out to be utterly pathetic and in constant need of saving. Or 'strong independent women' who have no other personality than being the 'strong independent woman'. The intent here is to come across as feminist and progressive without critically engaging in anything. It's paper thin.

Ultimately, the core theme of MDZS and TGCF isn't about women's experiences (whereas SVSSS is, I would argue, right into the nooks and crannies). Do these works explore such themes to the extent it explore privilege, conflict, and oppression? Not really. But you can't do everything - the role of an author is inherently about choosing what to prioritise. And given what it does do, I think it does some pretty neat things.

[zenaidamacrouras1]

hi i have another question about hot neighbor. rose seems to be written as black biracial and everyone else seems to be written as white. i was curious about this choice for her! i think weirdly as a black reader it made me think a lot about what her life would be like if her black parent was around, since being black in an all white space/family can be isolating. (there is no call out incoming i swear, i was just curious! i love the story!)

I'm so glad you asked! Yes I did intend for Rosie to be multiracial, and yes I did kind of drop the ball on filling out her world with characters that look like her.

So this post got bonkers long because it made me think of a lot of things. I realize this maybe looks like I am feeling defensive, but actually I just really enjoyed talking about this. I know I am not a perfect author, but thinking about useful things makes me hopefully less imperfect. Sorry that 90% of this is irrelevant to your actual question.

More below the more.

So this fic is weird because it has a small core cast, and yes all of them are white but Rosie!

Then it has this big cast of barely there neighbors - who are very very background in the fic, but I think all of them that speak are people of color except Eloise/Elsie/ukulele lady/cookies lady (this is one person).

So though the fic didn't address it (that's on me) I imagined Mrs. Rodiguez as Afro-Cuban and the jaded teens are Black. Exercise Grandpa is Chinese. I actually had a scene with Santiago and Mrs. Rodriguez arguing about Mexican vs. Cuban pronunciation which I cut despite spending hours on it, it felt distracting. So poor Santiago never got a speaking gig.

Side note!

I have some basic diversity things I try and do in all my multi-chapter fics. I try to make them all pass the Bechdel test for women (two named women talk and not about a man) as well as for race (two named people of color talk to each other not about race). I don't think they all pass both tests, for the record, esp my earlier ones.

I also like to always have an Ace/Aro character as well as a trans character, someone that uses them/them pronouns and I like to have a character whose first language isn't English. These are, to be clear, incredibly low bars for representation.

All this is partly because I value diversity and partly because that's what real life looks like for me, but since I write about two white men, based on the MCU which has a LOT OF WHITE MEN, I will miss things if I don't have a mental list.

Also for fun almost all of my fics include a reference to Bucky resembling a mermaid and a Lord of Rings reference.

Okay that's just random author notes. I do love to think about and talk about these things. I don't think this makes me a good person or anything magical. Just sharing this cause as an author this is interesting to me so maybe it is to others.

So! Your actual question :)

I had initially had Rosie as mixed race cause, honestly, statistics. The fic is set in Brooklyn. It's a diverse place. It's super likely that Steve would have a hook up with a guy with textured hair and brown skin, and since his whole genetic code is submissive as hell, his kid is gonna have curls and melanin. I actually pictured the mystery dad as Latino, but like many mixed race kids, people are gonna see Rosie as Black. And I am fine with whatever read on the mystery dad because I left it very vague.

I never saw her other dad as in the picture. It's just not what Steve wanted at that time. One reader asked if her dad was Sam Wilson and in my head Sam and Steve were college besties but Sam moved to DC. But again I don't care if someone wants to imagine that!

One of the reasons this fic got put on the back burner for a year was because I was gonna be way more thoughtful about Rosie's race. I was going to bring in Uncle Sam and Grandma Wilson and maybe swap out Wanda for a non-white character, and Steve and Bucky were going to have a few conversations about it.

And then, and this is real, I simply did not, my friend. I ran out of spoons.

I had Sarah Rogers as dead and Mrs. Darlene Wilson had some of that Grandma role. When I resurrected Sarah, which I think was very good for the story, sorry Mrs. Wilson, Grandma Wilson got cut. 😭

At this point I suppose I could have made Rosie have a white mystery dad but again. It's Brooklyn. Just. Statistics. And I already had a picture of her in my mind and I loved her precious little curls too much.

I imagined a lot of conversations happening off screen more or less. I imagined the Jaded Teens giving Steve shit because he doesn't know how to style Rosie's hair at first. I imagined Mrs. Wilson inviting them over for holidays when Sam is in town and Steve is the only white person there.

I imagined Rosie getting beaded braids for her first day of kindergarten (per the recommendation of the Jaded Teens) and Ruby being jealous as hell that she can't get beads because her hair doesn't have enough texture and also appropriation Ruby.

I also think we can trust Steve to 1. Fuck things up, bless his disaster heart and 2. Absolutely try his best to be thoughtful about raising a biracial kid and in the end do more things good than not. My confidence that Steve was doing a great job off screen made me lazy about what I ended up including.

In sum: I also thought a lot about Rosie's race and the importance of her having strong Black and Latino role models and then did not work any into her immediate family. Which is of course a real dynamic of many kids in the world, as you note! But we can expect Steve to want to do better for his daughter.

It is, of course, my own privilege and perspective as a white person that influences my author choices. No, not everything is ever going to fit. Something will always need to go.

It's a legit thing to notice and feel some tension about that for this fic, because it's definitely the case that a more nuanced approach to race was one of the things I let slide to the cutting room floor. It wasn't malicious at the time but I did actually notice later and feel regret, but not enough to re-work the story.

In retrospect, I managed to fit in Bucky fixing not just a microwave, but also a dishwasher! Clearly I could have worked in more discussion of race somewhere. 🫠🥴🙃 Not that I would cut either appliance scene. They are very dear to me. In large part because of my cultural bias!

Also it sucks extra because I hear people noting that it is not always easy or comfortable to be a person of color in such a white fandom, so I am sorry for this fic adding to that cognitive dissonance.

So thanks for asking! Sorry for all the extra crap I wrote that wasn't actually answering your question! I appreciate you taking the time to mention it!

❤️🧡💚💙💜

[theroundbartable]

You said to ask you about your takes about Merlin, and I always find it interesting to find out which angle people approach an ot3 of, so which edge of the triangle arthur/merlin/gwen was the first you shipped? Or was it the full ot3 right away? 👀

Ah, yes. When I started watching Merlin back in 2019, the very first thing I shipped was Merthur.

I usually don't start shipping right away, I start looking at the different dynamics and wait where it may take me. And the very first episode left all dynamics open. So, I wasn't an instant Merthur fan but I could tell that this was where I was heading.

Even though I wanted to ship Merlin x Gwen first because Gwen had a crush on Merlin and Merlin was oblivious and Arthur was an arse in season 1. I still knew I would end up a Merthur main.

Back in 2019 I was still working through a lot of stuff when it comes to relationships, sexuality, identity, trauma, etc, It sounds weird but what I needed at the time, was characters that I couldn't "be" and that also couldn't be attracted to me. The reason for that is too personal to post here but that's why I distanced myself from female characters in ships at the time. That's why I knew Mergwen wouldn't be where I'd end up. I didn't hate them, I just couldn't deal with certain things.

And then came the Elena episode in which Merlin tells Arthur that he will be a better king with a woman by his side whom he loves. I was already lowkey shipping Merthur by then, but THAT scene burned itself into my DNA and changed me forever. I LOVE that scene! If I ever had any doubts until then, they were gone the moment Merlin hands Arthur the sword and says: " I think you're mad."

I knew from the beginning that Merthur wouldn't end up canon, and that without looking at spoilers. The show is from 2012, I just knew. In fact, I was delighted with how FAR they took it despite that!

And I absolutely loved how the canon ship actually made sense. And Ioved how it was a learning curve for me too, to see them grow to make sense. In the beginning it felt a bit sudden but when I watched the show again, I realized just how many moments they actually had.

Plus, Gwen wasn't a mere love interest, she was a real character. Basically, she passed the bechdel test, lmao. I love that she's a blacksmith, that she had her own story arc, her own tragedies and losses, a full family that we SEE in the show, etc. And I loved her dynamic with Arthur growing from awkward to genuine. I always thought that relationshipwise, they were one of the best portrayals of lovebirds I've seen in a series in a long time. And BBC merlin is PG so that was a bonus. And they always had space for Arthur's friendship with Merlin. (This is very important to me, as an ace person who used to think they would lose their friends due to their relationships)

And well... years have passed and I slowly got over my trauma through writing fanfiction and some mild confrontation therapy. There was one fic especially, that paved the way for Mergwenthur. I think that one was Wired... (2021) in which time is a circle and Merlin lives long enough to see Arthur be born again. In that one I tried to be as close to canon as I could, while also writing a Merthur story. Originally, Arthur was meant to choose Merlin, but during the darkest hour, in which the story begins, he's already head over heels for Gwen. And the more I tried to grasp Arthur's feelings after the magic reveal, the less possible it was for me to not see Mergwenthur.

As Arthur starts realizing his fellings for Merlin, his feelings for Gwen don't change, because why would they? The feelings were different but they were both of love. And when I tried to characterize Gwen, I ended up thinking of their three person date in season 4(?) in which Arthur says:" Isn't it nice to be here? Just the two of us?" And it's GWEN who says: "you mean, the THREE of us. " When I thought of that, I just couldn't imagine that Gwen didn't already know and accept Arthur's feelings. And I couldn't imagine Merlin wanting Arthur to choose him over Gwen. While at the time, Mergwen wasn't really on my mind, I thought this was where the story was naturally progressing, so I let it.

I've always been a multishipper. But this dynamic is important to me. I've analized their relationship a couple of times and come to the conclusion that Gwen is the better Queen (some people like to call Merlin Arthur's queen). Because her relationship with Arthur is build on mutual goals and their future vision of Camelot. Their relationship is reasonable and healthy. I think their love is very soft but strong. While Merthur is just unhinged soul bond, ready to sacrifice everything for each other, including Camelot. Merlin would be a terrible Queen, like, seriously. Camelot would be destroyed the moment Arthur gets abducted once. Their love is intense and fickle in the sense that they can't live without the other. And Mergwen should have had more moments. Gwen was always the one person picking up that some things about Merlin were a bit odd, like the Lamia episode, or servant of two masters, etc.. I feel like Mergwen is a ship that's friendship first and can be both wholesome and completely mad, depending on which of the two indicates the action.

So, it was a bit of a curve for me. I ship them individually, I ship them together, apart, with other characters, everything. But the more I look into the show, the more sense Mergwenthur makes to me. Regardless of whether they are platonic or not, I can't unsee them. And why would I? they are fun.

Haha, this answer was very long, but I hope it answers your question :D

[baby-yaga]

dead dad saga update: made a space on my altar for him, am working on completely redoing it as its now a bit cramped. im not entirely sure what my goal with it is. i want to feel his energy still, i see traces of it now and then. i feel it when i go thrifting (he called it treasure hunting when i was little and we were furnishing his post-divorce apartment), i feel it when i listen to his old cassette tapes, i feel it when i remember the good times and the bad times.

i miss him. i feel fickle for missing him.

im filling the pit he left in me with our common ground. im filling it with movies he showed me, music he liked, music that i like that reminds me of him. im filling it by myself, as i always needed to. im filling it by telling him stories about my life, out loud. i almost feel like were getting to know each other again.

recently going a day without having a panic attack isnt so hard, but multiple days in a row is still tricky and im both terrified and relieved of that. some days i almost convince myself hes alive again.

i started rereading fun home, and really resonated with alison bechdels description of seeing her brother again for the first time after their fathers death. they both seemed to find an absurd humor in the tragedy, and my siblings and i did too. for the first few weeks, all we could do was send each other dead dad jokes, quoting smoke signals back and forth. it didnt feel real then, for any of us. i think it feels more real to me now.

im realizing more and more how much i was testing him as a teenager and adult. i always considered him to be fickle too. he would get into being a parent, make an effort for a while, and then soon he would leave again. i made reengaging with me harder and harder each time, to see if hed ever really stick it out and be consistently invested in me. i wonder if he took that as a flat out rejection. i probably thought it was too.

idk. i guess thats all.

[tungstenb]

If you're a SAtS/LWLS reader, I need your opinion on something

It's been brought to my attention that there's an error in SAtS caused by my not having played the ending of ME3 since 2018: Cortez canonically gets left behind on Earth. He seems to be the only named NPC who does.

I completely fucking forgot.

I'm torn about how to remedy this for my canon-compliant narrative. On the surface I could just replace mentions of him with someone suitable on a case-by-case basis---since I made an executive decision that only female characters are important in my works, this should be easy to do. SAtS does not pass the reverse Bechdel test.

But removing his limited screentime won't be so simple: I have to address his absence. This wouldn't be as much of a problem if I'd had the foresight to, idk, talk about other Normandy casualties (keeping in mind that SAtS is from the perspective of a Liara who only cares about maintaining her little mind palace, so I never intended objectivity. Also, in the scene where the post-crash-landing debrief does happen, Liara is zoning tf out).

And not only do I have to rewrite for continuity, but Normandy no longer has a shuttle, since Cortez gets shot down in it. Unfortunately I use the shuttle for some sideplot stuff that I could scratch...maybe...then rework---but again, we're getting into major revision territory since my style heavily favors immersion. And I worked hard on my immersive shuttle scenes.

I am, to put it mildly, pissed off at myself.

If it were solely up to me, it'd be rewrite time. No question. I find it personally important to own up to my mistakes, no matter how minor; take accountability; and actively do better. I'm not particularly concerned about my own comfort or happiness when my kudos count is so low; Tears of the Kingdom can wait. But god does making odd!SAtS Cortezless sound like drudgery.

So, readers, I'm asking you: would you prefer that our shuttle pilot stay (he does not get shot down by Harby), or should I edit for canon-compliance?

[onlytibki]

Yelling into the void about OPLA

Spoilers ahead!

Neutral: Some major scenes that outlined certain themes of the original story were changed, which is fair. Some things were added in certain areas, which is also fair. There's pros and cons to these things in various directions so I'm keeping it all under 'neutral'--by the same token, my disappointment about it not fitting the original story is tempered by how much just knowing the original story made me excited to see these characters and places in a live action. The two things kinda cancel, so, neutral.

Pros:

Set building. Urgh,, this summer has been a highlight for physical sets as opposed to greenscreening things. It was GORGEOUS and it paid off SO WELL.

Make-up. Again, physical make-up (I think) not CGI'ing a face, and it went so well. The Fishmen are high-key terrifying and honestly it fits the narrative. (The CGI was also amazing, though)

Fitting like 50+ episodes into 8 hours. A LOT ended up on the cutting room floor but the result was cohesive and coherent and that could not have been easy. And yet, even with so much on the floor, I think they only completely culled two or three characters? (Johnny and Yosaku (tragic) and the Island of the Rare Animals dude (but his island was shown in the maps)

Cons:

Fight choreography. There was a lot of variation in quality, imho. Kuina was incredible, as well she should be, but in some of the major fights there were moments of stillness in the background, etc. I should not have seen Luffy just stand there with his fists up while Zoro engaged Cpt. Morgan.

Make-up. If they did the Fishmen, and Merry, so goddamn well, why the hell are we missing Sanji's eyebrow and Usopp's nose? Usopp's nose might've been distracting but it didn't have to be ridiculous.

I'm not sure if it's cinematography, or editing, or directorial decisions, but I feel like they wasted precious time on a few scenes, whose minutes would've been well-spent including short, more cinematic shots. Ex: scrap kid!Sanji's "Day 2", replace with a shot of grown!Sanji bowing in front of the Baratie. Quite a few of Oda's iconic double-page shots would've translated SO WELL to the screen. Why not use them??

Side Notes

ZORO WAS IN GOA KINGDOM holy shit the things that could've changed. I wonder if Johnny and Yosaku were there too? Also his scar wasn't big or bloody enough.

Helmeppo was there. I somewhat had an opinion on him by the end of the season, which is an impressive achievement.

Scratch that, my opinion on Helmeppo is that Zoro's cutting of his hair was hilarious but the butt shot was unnecessary. Ditto Sanji being shirtless to rescue Luffy. This is OPLA why the fan service.

Nami was in shackles until age 12. :( But Bechdel test, passed!

Also this version of Nami would've absolutely tried to get with Kaya before stepping aside given the Usopp/Kaya romance.

Mihawk was PERFECT. Like absolutely iconic. Honestly the whole cast was, obviously, but you don't see as many people gushing about this fact regarding Mihawk

What the hell happened to Gin. He ate the food and then vanished from the face of the earth.

Garp's development/arc was an interesting take, and honestly it was a chunk of the really engaging part of the watch for me. I guess in canon he was too busy doing Marine things to chase after Luffy after he left Dawn Island so this is a good take.

On a related note, it does take a bit away that we didn't go through 250-ish chapters before learning about any of Luffy's family, but obviously that wasn't going to happen anyway. Also, kinda wish we'd seen him yell out 'Fist of Love' or them both fall asleep at the same time post-Enies Lobby arc style, but he was definitely using haki so it's fine.

On a different related note, actually VERY upset that we (1) didn't get Garp saying that line about how he left Luffy with Dadan so he could grow up to be a respectable Marine, and have Loof respond with Garp's training and (2) had to listen to Garp telling Luffy that the GL isn't a game, given that Luffy's already lost Sabo to the world and (3) didn't get any mention of Luffy's brothers or Dadan at all, actually.

Quick Summary: I do think a degree of enjoyment was both added and subtracted due to my knowledge of the original story. Not sure if I would've sat through the whole thing if I wasn't already tied heart and soul to the crew, but I am and I did.

But it was definitely fun and really well built. 8/10.

[the-paris-of-people]

16 and 17 for nhie ask game!!

16. Do you read fanfic? and if so what are some of your favorite post season 3 fanfics?

Yes I do!!! These are my favorite fanfics

i'd tell you i miss you but i don't know how (i've never heard silence quite this loud)

Falling Back Together

Five Times Devi Thought About Being With Ben During Junior Year, and One Time She Actually Went for It

Whoops actually these are all fics penned by me and my friend's but what can I say? They are so goooddd

17. Anything you want to rant about? (Aka more unpopular opinions)

This has been said over and over again but I am so annoyed about it but I hate so much that Aneesa was shafted to the side this season and used as a plot device! She literally was only "integrated into the gang" when she and Fabiola were having romantic tension. I don't think Devi and Aneesa passed the Bechdel test ONCE this season. In general, I hate that they didn't develop Aneesa and gave new characters (though I loved the Des and Rhyah storyline) so much screentime. What the heck!! They could have done so much with Aneesa's character and I really wanted her to have a POV episode and just booooo I was so mad!! She really had sooo many makings of such an interesting character

Also I really wish Fabiola and Aneesa stayed together!! idk they were flirting for literal months only to have them break up? Boooooo

I also was upset we didn't get to see/hear more about Kamala and her career/research since she had such a big plotline last season!!! I liked that she stood up for herself but Kamala had such a large role last season and the season before it kind of felt like she disappeared (which blah blah blah represents growth and change but stillll)

Lastly, this is just a rant about comparing benvi s2 vs. s3. I think people were mad about s2 because they didn't have their bickering, bantering dynamic they had in season 1 but... it completely made sense why their dynamic changed in season 2? They were developing serious feelings for each other and in the throes of them, had gone through seeing the other person date someone else and had to stomach it, plus the cheating scandal, Devi was in the heights of her PTSD and grief in a lot of ways and going through a LOT, it totally made sense they acted differently towards one another because the circumstances had changed! Obviously they still cared for each other a lot but they were going through a rough patch. I don't think they were out of character at all in the way they interacted, it was more like they had changed and people didn't expect it and didn't know how to handle it

[incarnateirony]

You know what this woman could have done to avoid all of this? The pain, the shattered pride, her broken world questioning everything she knows?

Nothing.

Both ways.

If she had done nothing (NOT stalking, NOT allowing her friends to harass me for years on her approval, NOT consciously investing six months of her life intentionally trying to fuck up both my game and business), as inconvenient as the astral aspect was for me, I would have tolerated it, just like I gave her all the time I did tolerating it, and seeing if she could grow up and process her grief enough to Do Nothing.

But there's also Nothing she could have done, because she cannot do that. Her cult attachment and shadow projection while attempting to call my persona and just getting the echoes has literally addicted her toxic obsession to me while she fell into delirium and psychosis her user "friends" and "boyfriend" encouraged for their own selfish reasons, because again, she can do Nothing, and has Nothing. Even her support network and supposed loved ones are fake as shit.

But all she had to do was Nothing, and she couldn't.

And now she's mad at me because she refuses to look at herself when she spent 17, 11, 3 years and six months driving herself into this car crash and now it's anybody's fault but her and the vampires around her. How dare we shatter her schizophrenic delusions and make her realize her entire life is fake, we were just supposed to bend over for her abuse and control.

Now we've reached a point they may have innocent blood on their hands from trying to fuck around with things they truly not only don't understand, but REFUSE to understand, and they won't even blink. It won't bother them one fucking bit.

We weren't supposed to TELL anyone that she's a fraud, she thought she could get away with it forever charging people for made up or stolen bullshit, so much she forgot that she stole what she stole. We weren't supposed to SPEAK UP about what she does to both me and him. We were supposed to be quiet little caged birds she occasionally throws acid on. We weren't supposed to be allowed to scream when she tries intentional torture and abuse. And we certainly weren't supposed to be able to fight back or defend ourselves, just be plastic toys on a mantle for her ego. Now she doesn't know how to shut us up. Much less stop her life from being destroyed on both sides, including her entire Essence Of Being.

I genuinely don't think there's the original person salvageable in her. When I say she has become a mess of warped ego and shadows misguided by psychosis a bunch of equally abusive user pieces of shit around her all encouraged for petty personal reasons, I mean it. I don't think she can come back from this in this lifetime. Because she literally has made herself too weak to face herself and rebuild into something that is real.

NO ONE that cares about this woman would have been encouraging her once they realized she built her BUSINESS of MYSTICISM off of PLAGIARIZED 23 YEAR OLD ANIME OCTOPUS JIBBERISH. The SECOND they heard she was talking to fucking octopus jibberish gods should have been an intervention, not a fucking encouragement to quadruple down into fursuit fetish schizophrenia land featuring the furry god of death and the kibble bowl.

You know why they let it happen? Because they hate me more than they "love" her. I don't know if they know what that word means really. But paying attention to her sliding into psychosis and ripping out her hair was secondary or even tertiary to like, their obsession with trying to annoy me and talk about me like a man's writing their story, because damn y'all fail the bechdel test bad.

They don't care. Her new hubby probably was running out of time being tolerated where they were at and attached like a parasite, not realizing they just attached to another parasite, and they're sucking each other dry.

If it was any more tropes of lazy man writing they were managing to pull off her posts would have started being about jiggling along boobily before logging off to talk to her copies of me she's praising on her altar and denying it's what it literally fucking is, because wow, that'd be fucking awkward for her husband to ever fucking have to face too. Like how does a marriage recover with "I spent our entire relationship pining after my ex and training you to replace him and Be Him."

Hope their fandom and roleplays were worth destroying her entire life and possibly her eternal existence. Cuz she's too fucking stubborn and self absorbed to ever admit she's fucked up. Like all the way, not trying to negotiate the edges. All the way fucked, root up, needs an entire system purge and restart to fix it, and she's too scared with no real supports to actually do that. Nobody left around her even knew who she used to be. She used up and left behind everyone that did.

Someone forgot what a certain entity was like when he, or his family, was being wronged. All they remember is their woobified body pillow recreation. The one she reblogged random tumblr things to try to erase her own memory, that a god could never have wrath or deny someone, much less start smiting or punishing them.

Bitch is HUNTED. Getting processed. A slow, painful deletion as everything she thinks she has is revealed fake and bleeds away.

She has no identity.

And it's her and their fault.

She wasn't ripping out her hair when she was with me. This should not be difficult to math out. If -> empty-> rip out hair-> attempt to replace emptiness->make cult->cult doesn't feel right->roleplays don't feel the same->why am I compelled to stalk an ex for 3 years that's trying to ignore me idk must not be relevant->the great octopus jibberish cocaine bear embarrassment of walking into the cosmic acme trap -> deny because oh my god this means my bf will realize he wasn't enough for me and is just the next toy in my toychest.

Bitch is so lost in her lies she even forgot what actual "magic" looked like. It didn't used to just to be thoughts inside her head she shared and put into third person. But she hasn't seen a real magician or real god in 3 years. Well she summoned one into her presence for like 30 minutes by force while trying to refuse to take accountability for her actions and trying to make me pay for her own therapy of realizing she's a horrible, abusive piece of shit with advanced psychosis, no gods, and a fake life, down to the origin of her relationship, and the end of the last one.

When she pined for a mystical hermetic experience so hard enough to fuck up her life like this, I don't think she expected a 3 month long gnostic experience of both the god and the man she deified trying to delete her from existence for being an irredeemable sack of shit. Like constant 3 months, for that matter. Because when you have actual divine connection, it's not a roleplay you can motherfucking log out of or pack away with your vibrator after making her or her husband pretend to be me. And the life she wanted is doing a fucking breakdance on her that she even ushered in with "you know, hermes and the dance moves..." while all she can muster is talking to disassociated voices in altar toys as an excuse to feed herself various candy.

indeed.

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

s2ep17 frozer

i think i'm just gonna list the things i liked and didn't like

i don't like how persistent and insistent adrien/chat noir is for ladybug. again, i really think it's a very scary and dangerous pattern to teach children. obviously anyone of anyone gender should respect the person they like and their boundaries, but esp teaching young boys that they need to respect young girls's boundaries and bodily autonomy (whether either of them stay that way later in life).

i did however think plagg's sad face in adrien's bag was very funny.

the creator is trying to reignite the race war between chinese ppl and japanese ppl fr /j

i'm annoyed that, like with master fu decoding the grimore, or the fact that kim swims and has a a close friend who's crushing on me, we don't get any hints that kagami fences with adrien until this episode. bc last we saw, she had been defeated and then akumatized.

i thought marinette chatting with her friends was a cute little scene, but it's kind of soured by the fact that 1) all they talk about is adrien (so it doesn't pass the bechdel test) and 2) her friends don't even listen to her when she says she thinks they're just meant to be friends

honestly, yknow, i just didn't like this episode. which is not surprise. i just didn't like the set-up or the premise. again, i think under a better writing team and creator, the love square could work. i might still be annoyed with it, but maybe i would be less annoyed if it was actually done well on a technical level.

but i don't feel any stakes or miscommunication drama. all i see is a teen boy not respecting his partner's boundaries and who doesn't listen to marinette, and a teen girl who is unable to speak to her crush at all, and barely listens to him, either. like that's just. idk basic? and it feels dumb.

once again the pacing was absolutely shot because they had to spend half the episode setting up the love square, and the introduced love interest rivals. so what does that make that? if it's a love square, and luka is connected to mareintte, and kagami is connected to adrien,,,like some sort of creature i guess. the square is the face and the off-shoots are like. ears or smth. but anyway the fact that they wasted half the episode introducing and setting up the love creature means they had to rush through everything else.

instead of like. using other episodes to establish that beforehand.

someone in a server i'm in, after reading some of my posts on this, commented that this show is like french rwby and they were so on the money with that one. like all i can think about is hbomb commenting about how they could've set up so many new characters through naturalistic storytelling and instead decided to spend half their season on a prom arc.

ml is like that but like for everything. ondine makes a brief appearance in frightingale and suddenly we're supposed to know that she and kim are so close that she confesses her love to him??? the leap the audience has to make!!!

i also just was annoyed at both marinette and adrien the whole episode bc of how they acted at the skating rink. but i won't go into that here bc i think it's more personal than an actual critique. could it have been written better, absolutely. but i don't think i would've liked it all the same.

i do feel bad for luka. it's very weird they made him the way he is. why introduce him as a potential love rival when 1) adrien isn't going to pay attention bc he will always want ladybug and 2) luka isn't even going to fight for marinette? where's the drama in that?

that does remind me tho, i did want to complain about the fact that adrien doesn't listen to kagami. like she says something and he completely ignores her! she tells him it's not his technique, and 5 seconds later, he goes, "it must be my technique." like my dude. maybe if you like. actually listened to the girls who talk to you, you'd have better chances understanding them.

and it goes the same for marinette, too. luka asks if she wants to ride the subway back together and marinette completely ignores him in favor of watching adrien leave. she doesn't even indicate she heard him. and then what does she do? nothing! she just stutters and stumbles and it goes nowhere!!

also can i just say the fact that she was like, "let's bring the whole gang next time" and then instead of listing their classmates, who have been shown to hang out together--they went to the goddamn movies last time--she lists the two they were just with, and alya and nino. which, funnily enough, pairs them off quite nicely. /sarcasm

tl;dr what is this romance doing in my superhero show lol

also now that i've started ice skating, the fact that both luka and kagami can do those moves on ice indicates way, way more practice than you would think. there's no way, based on their comments to the skating coach, that they would be able to skate that well if they did not get consistent practice. luka especially bc he lifts marinette!! adrien and marinette too. i've seen inexperienced ppl and first-timers, they are not that steady, nor that confident. even when they're with more experienced skaters. they move slow, they hang close to the wall. that was so unrealistic lmao. don't give ppl false ideas about how easy ice skating is man.

finally, this man couldn't get ppl skating?? in paris, france?? france, where adam siao him fa is from????? hello???

[whathehe11]

Hi. This is going to be a post talking about the lack of shows with leading wlw characters.

I love the fact that blatant queer rep is a thing that we can find in various shows and is popular. That said, and I know I’m not the only person who’s noticed this, where is the wlw rep?

And before I have people that say “oh I have many wlw characters that I like and read/draw/etc…” I’m not talking about rep at an individual level.

I’m talking in general.

When we look at queer rep in media it more often than not is a focus on white (typically but not always) cis men.

It’s gotten better over the years but the treatment of media that follows wlw ships but when you look at what gets really popular and what shows get renewed it’s almost never shows with a main wlw couple.

There are shows that will have some gay women in the supporting cast but as a leading character it almost never happens.

I have a few theories why this could be the case (good old fashioned misogyny being one of them/the root of them all) but I think part of the blame lies on the hands of the producers AND the consumers.

From the producers female characters are often not made to be characters but are instead walking talking props. (See the Bechdel test, an (imperfect) test that is hilariously easy to pass and yet even today most media fails spectacularly). They don’t give them proper storylines and personalities making it hard for them to be memorable or likeable. When there is media made with a main wlw couple or a gay woman they rarely get past a single season even if the show is popular (which also has been an issue for other shows but is especially been found in these types of shows)

From the consumer’s end there’s the element that (because of the lack of characterization given to female characters) people don’t get as interested/invested in them and don’t tend to talk as much. It’s also pretty damn difficult to ship two (characters that are functionally treated as) objects together (though many do try and some succeed).

This combined with the way that (historically) media that is more tame/palatable to men tends to be more favoured beaurocratically (and in fandom spaces, again not all but many)

And that isn’t even getting into talking about trans rep which is even less common in media. But that’s a whole other post for another time.

If you have any thoughts or opinions or anything please let me know. I’m curious what others have to say.

[queen-boudicca]

Next up in the nuwho rewatch, world war III! (Also i know i said I'd post them at the same time but i had to go to work and was busy)

Bechdel test pass: yes

Made me cry: no

World war three 

Yay resistant to electricity nine

Yay theme song

Yay Mickey!!

Why does electrocuting one of them electrocute them all, again? Do they ever explain that

Doc literally why didn't you tell the soldiers about the pm being an alien in disguise first?

God the elevator opening on the slitheen and nine cheekily smiling is peak comedy

Oh blon fel-fotch passamer-day slitheen my beloved (lol hope i got the name right that'd be embarrassing)

Lol Harriet looks so offended when they call her old

Harriet really about to sacrifice herself for a girl she just met we stan

"Harriet Jones, i like you" bitch me too the fuck

"The slitheen race? Slitheen is not our species" god some showrunners could never

God the dialogue between Harriet and nine and the slitheen is just god tier

"Who's not human?" "He's not human" "he's not human?"

"Harriet, have a drink; I think you're gonna need it" "you pass to the left first"

"They'll never get in" "and how do we get out?" "Ah."

Love the reporter "though why he's been summoned, I've no idea" "that's the chairman of the North Sea boating club" "quite what connects all these people we've no idea"

Mickey and Jackie! 

"If anyone's gonna cry it's gonna be me" i love you Mickey

"You saved my life. God that's embarrassing" i love you Jackie

Rip the secretary guy

"Hasn't it got defence codes and things; couldn't we just launch a nuclear bomb at them?" "...You're a very violent young woman"

"We need a resolution from the UN" "not like that's ever stopped us before" God rtd is not being subtle with the politics we stan (not that anything about this episode is subtle)

I love love love them all working together

*Opens the door* *sees cop* *closes door* 

"That narrows it down to one planet! Raxacoricofalipatorious!" "Oh great, we can write them a letter"

*Throws the vinegar on it* *it just fucking explodes all over them* 

"We've scanned and found these weapons of mass destruction in the sky" oh okay can literally any other world government confirm that? Or any astronomy organization? Or literally anybody

Love how the real enemy of the episode is capitalism they didn't have to go this hard but they did

American reporter my beloved

Ugh the emotions the collaboration

"This is my life, Jackie. It's not fun; it's not smart; it's just standing up and making a decision because nobody else will." That hits hard also give Eccleston an Oscar already

"Except it's not your decision, doctor. It's mine" queen

Love the buffalo password

Love the little missile map!

"Sir there's a missile—" *opens door, everyone is giant green aliens* "...sorry"

Harriet Jones, future prime minister, my beloved

Jackie being willing to open up and have a sit down dinner w the doctor meanwhile nine's being such a bitch (we get it but c'mon)

Nine inviting Mickey along <3

"I'll see you in ten seconds' time, yeah?" Lol rose you can NOT promise that or did you forget he got you back a year late

Really pretty ending imo

Plus gotta love the music

Oh fuck the next episode preview actually slaps so hard damn

Anyway see you next time for dalek!

[gothamundernightlight]

MCU Hot Take/AU Theory - long post, be warned!

Just because Endgame is being picked on again, I thought I’d share my perspective because why not. Gifs aren’t mine, credit goes to the talented creators on this app.

Neither Natasha nor Clint should have died on Vormir…because neither of them should have been on Vormir.

I never really understood the reason for splitting up the teams the way they did in Endgame, and here’s why.

Aside from what has already been acknowledged on Vormir, the right people were all on the wrong missions. If you think about it, by sending Nebula to Morag, they had to address Thanos all over again, by sending Thor to Asgard, he was forced to address all of the trauma and grief he was suffering in the worst possible circumstances, Tony messed up and let Loki get away, and then Steve got recognized on the base dedicated to him (shocker!).

It’s at this point that I bring up a line from the first Avengers movie. “This is monsters and magic and nothing we were ever trained for.” Natasha says this to Clint, and I really wish the writers had thought about that more going forward. Clint and Natasha were trained spies, and we almost never saw them act like it because the films were too busy making them keep up with the rest of the team superheroes. Why not just use their OG skill sets rather than give them new ones to provide additional character development? (Looking at you lullaby Nat 👀)

So here’s how I would’ve done it. Thor should’ve gone to New York with Scott, Tony, and Rhodey. Thor, who has had the most experience with Doctor Strange, whom they were expecting to find, would have done just as good a job at convincing the Sorcerer Supreme of handing over the Time Stone. Rhodey would not have looked out of place in that lobby so he wouldn’t have had to rush away in fear of being caught and then not been knocked over by an angry Hulk. Scott goes with him, and Tony gets the scepter, and flies away without being caught by Captain America.

Rocket and Clint should have gone to Morag. The two of them are very good at sneaking around and taking out people clandestinely, so they should’ve been getting the Power Stone. Also the dynamic between Clint and Rocket would have been absolute comedy.

Natasha and Nebula could’ve paired up for Asgard. Thanos could have noticed two Nebulas at once again, still leaving the big fight at the end, and as two women, they would’ve probably gotten along well enough to make the movie actually pass the Bechdel test.

Now back to Vormir. Steve and Bruce. Putting the Red Skull on Vormir is a choice I could respect, but then making it so Steve would never interact with him on screen was a mistake. The fact that a Nazi gets to live and Natasha didn’t will never sit right with me. So Natasha is never there. Steve interacts with the Red Skull, who then gets to taunt him with the emotional trauma of needing to sacrifice a life to save those he cares about, only for Bruce to call bullshit and sacrifice himself instead, and gaining something he’s hinted at wanting since the first Avengers movie.

But wait. Maybe he doesn’t have to die. The Hulk made Bruce somewhat immortal in canon, and in the sake of someone needing to die, they could’ve become one person and thus given Professor Hulk a far better origin. Steve also doesn’t go back in time and get a nostalgia kick that ruins his character development and most importantly, Natasha doesn’t have to die at the expense of a character who’s sole existence in the MCU has historically been propped up and motivated by his fellow female characters.

(I might actually write this as a fic if I ever get round to it, and these are just my thoughts, I’m sure many of you disagree, but I don’t give a shit)

[ladyloveandjustice]

Winry Light Novel Part 5: I get sidetracked by what-ifs

Winry was actually wishing she could talk to Ed and Al prior to her revelation, which makes me wonder. Since this all takes place pretty much when they’re at Izumi’s, she maybe could have if she knew her number. I’m assuming Pinako at least knew it at some point, she probably kept in touch with Izumi in Ed and Al’s younger years. But Winry might not, and even if she did, she has no reason to assume they’d stay in one place too long.

I was thinking though, would Ed have decent advice with how to deal with Darish since he’s also an automail user? Would he give the understanding insight Winry needed? And I think probably not, actually! Despite also losing his leg at eleven, he probably wouldn’t relate to Darish’s attitude since he basically never allowed himself to process that loss at the same age. Darish is traumatized over the loss over  leg and acting out, but Ed refused to acknowledge any of his own loss or pain, because in his eyes, Al’s was much greater and also “his fault” so he doesn’t deserve to acknowledge it. The sidestory set before he got his automail makes this canon:

So I can totally imagine him being MORE unsympathetic to Darish than Winry is and understanding him LESS. “What, he’s upset over losing a leg? there are worse things, it’s not a big deal. He needs to get over it and stop pushing his sister away and get automail so he can protect his family, be grateful he has a sibling who’s healthy!” It also gives extra perspective on Winry’s struggle here- though she can be sensitive to her other customers, she doesn’t have much context for how the average kid might react to her automail nerdiness because Ed’s situation was so atypical. They’re friends, so he doesn’t care about her bringing up how automail is cool all the time, both because he knows her heart is in a good place AND because he doesn’t think he deserves to have trauma over losing his limbs anyway. So maybe it’s a good thing she couldn’t/didn’t call.

(I can also imagine Ed would also be like, really confused about her ever doubting her skills or sensitivity during this point in their relationship “whhhhat? since when do you care about being nice??? Don’t worry about it!” He’d probably tell her not to overwork herself but it definitely would ring hollow from someone who made her pull all-nighters and regularly overworks himself.)

Anyway! Winry bonds with Lettie (Lettie is entirely why this book passes the Bechdel test, I mean it’s nice we at least have her and Winry is great at being a big sis but WHERE IS PANINYA) and tells her to give her brother time, and they head back to her house, but it’s dark! Where is he? Then they run into Mr. Garfiel and there’s an...interesting exchange where Lettie seems unclear on what honorific to use. She starts out saying “sir...?” but is “hesitating” since she’s not sure if that’s “right” and Garfiel corrects her, saying “it’s sister (-oneesan maybe?). Lettie repeats “sister”, sincerely.

It’s kind of hard to unpack this. Here’s one tumblr post explains a bit about “onee” in Japan:

Gay men in Japan are stereotyped by the general population as being camp, and using feminine clothes, language and pronouns. Those who present femininely are often referred to as オネエ (“onee”) because they use オネエ言葉 (“onee kotoba”, feminine speech), and may or may not identify as male.

And that can apparently be the preferred term for feminine gay men over...other words.

So it’s hard to say if this is to show Garfiel wants to be referred to this way as a feminine gay man, or this is the conflation of gay and trans that’s common with the caricature Garfiel falls into in the original text, or if it’s supposed to indicate Garfiel is trans. Hard to not suspect the second thing, but whatever conclusion you come to, the exchange is at least handled respectfully in-text, with Lettie using what Garfiel asks her too and no jokes are made at his expense.( I again don’t know how much of this is the translation). But he’s actually been a rounded character in this story, and that makes the novel a worthwhile addition to the canon on it’s own.

In fact, Garfiel is SUCH a good mentor that he both notices Winry looks better now and is pleased, and notices that she used her own money to buy the parts for machine repair and chastises her, telling her he’ll take care of it. Winry insists no, and says she’s at fault, and it’s clear now that she’s rested Garfiel wants to sit her down and have good talk with her. But they’re interrupted! Because it turns out Darish was last seen being cornered by the AUTOMAIL MAFIA and pulled into their shop. Garfiel contacts the military police, but thinks they’re unlikely to help. Winry immediately wants to charge off and rescue him herself.The others warn her against it and Garfiel decides he’ll actually go meet with the military police to see if that can do anything, but Winry notices how upset Lettie is over her brother and OFF SHE CHARGES.

OFF TO FIGHT THE AUTOMAIL MAFIA!