#but the more he learns of durge the more he gets Why

[maegalkarven]

I have the suspicion what the Cult of Murder wasn't very keen on healing/ had many healers around.

They probs had healing potions and scrolls and stuff, but do you think Durge would bother with them? Or would they, intimately familiar with the anatomy of the body, occasionally treat their own wounds with the cold precision of a surgeon?

What I have in mind is Durge casually sewing their own wounds shut with the first found rusty needle and something they deemed would suffice for a thread, Gortash seeing this horrific display and deciding enough is enough and taking the ordeal of healing this freak of an ally into his own hands.

[doctorweebmd]

coming out of my baldurs gate 3 delirium (aka i am working a night shift and can't physically play it. at work.) to say that horikoshi. horikoshi when i GET YOU. you are NOT leaving izuku with no quirk and no arms. i am in your walls

[kawareo]

Thank you lovely people for giving me a chance to ramble more about something (this is genuine, i mean no shade)

I find it really cool how every character has a parallel with Durge! In general every single romance pairing has reasons for why i think "yeah i could see them being good together", but I love those for Durge especially since I think about Durges way too much

Gale. Prodigy, Chosen of a God(ess) with a relationship that went far past god/Chosen, with him and Mystra being 'lovers' and Durge and Bhaal being 'family'. They were also both groomed to a degree to fulfill a role and have since fallen from grace of their gods.

Lae'zel. Raised in what is essentially a cult, having her entire world fall apart when she learns the truth about Vlaakith and Orpheus (while Durge's world falls apart when they learn about who they are in act 3). Cult has harsh and merciless punishments for those that disappoint, with death and beatings for githyanki and... Well. You know what, for Durge (looking at you, deleted bad ending).

Shadowheart. Having an equivalent of an electric collar on you that her God(ess) can punish her with (for Durge, that punishment isnt so immediate but Bhaal can literally stop their heart if he wants to). Amnesia. Having to choose between leading your cult or leaving everything you thought you knew and being an outcast. Depending on what you do with Shart, they also both kill their parents.

Karlach. Having your body changed without your consent, in drastic ways that you have no control over; the engine for Karlach, lobotomy + Slayer form for Durge (slayer in a more minor way but i will say that even in evil route you dont get a say whether or not you transform the first time). They both hurt people that get close to then without meaning to. They both have someone more powerful who sees them as property. Also, ties to Gortash.

Wyll. Daddy issues! And being rejected and outcast by your Father, wanting to prove yourself that you're still worthy. They were also both given shitty fucking names by their dads. They both at some point chose between power at the cost of freedom and freedom at the cost of literally everything; Wyll when he made a deal with Mizora, Durge at multiple points through the game when it comes to Bhaal. They both struggle with being tied to an evil, manipulative being that wants them isolated and weak and alone. Similar with Karlach, unwilling body modification, but specifically one that turns you into a 'monster'.

Astarion. 'Father'. 'Siblings' that you are in constant and brutal competition with, for momentary approval of your Creator who will never have enough of anything short but the world. Creator who's end goal very much includes you dying for him. Having no bodily autonomy as your Creator can literally violate your mind whenever. Sexual abuse. Struggling with bloodthirst! Your existence itself is violent, you can't live without hurting someone! (Bloodthirst for Ass, Urges for Durge)

Halsin. (Potential) guilt for something you have done, being pushed in a leadership position (Halsin at the grove, Durge with companions) that you may or may not be unsuited for. Being so, so alone, without anyone to care for your feelings. They both also have sides of them that they sometimes can't control, with the Bear and Urges, or more literally, the Slayer.

Minthara. A proud and efficent warrior that got one upped by a person they underestimated. Ties to Orin. Living as someone with the highest social status in a brutal, cruel society. Fanatic worship of an objectively evil god(ess) and then the betrayal that follows, waking up from quite literal brainwashing, seeing how your God(ess) turns against you.

And I could go on! Theyre all so good and interesting and depending on what path you decide to take, there is always something that Durge can relate to on with any companion! I tried to avoid repeating points or talking about my Durge specifically by just talking about what is set in canon for them, and there is still! So! Much!

[scoops-aboy86]

If You Were Serious (Secret Admirer pt 7)

Okay, so there will be more than seven chapters. For now, please enjoy Steve on painkillers and creative mix tape shenanigans.

(The crossed out thing after the first "Dear" is the first line of an E.)

wc: 3226 / rated: T / set end of/after season 3 / also on ao3

Dear I

Dear Secret Amdirer,

Sorry, painkillers kicking in. I got pretty banged up in the mall, in the fire. Well, less the fire and more getting hit by stuff. Mall fell down. I have ribs and eye and nose, and concussion this time so I had to stay over at Robin’s because someone had to keep an eye on me sleeping and my parents are still out of town. Dustin said I won at upper body injury bingo but I didn’t even know I was playing, that sounds like really a shitty game. 

Anyway, I haven’t been home so I don’t know if you tried to call. If you did, don’t worry!!! I’m not mad. I don’t not like you anymore just because you’re you. And this isn’t the durg drugs talking because I read your letter first before they kicked in, but I have to write this ASAP so it can get to you faster. 

You could’ve called back that night but if you needed some time to breathe I get it, it’s cool. And I kinda had a feeling after that you might be a guy? Like, shit, man, they’d eat you alive in this town. Not me, I learned my lesson after Jonathan wrecked my face after I called him and his family some bad things. I deserved that. Kinda funny how the next year he stole my girlfriend and now I like you. If you could still be interested in somebody who used to be like that. 

I know I like you because when you hung up I was really worried, you sounded like you were breathing really fast, maybe a panic attack? I have those after nightmares now. Robin too. (Don’t worry, we bonded and she’s like my sister now, she says we’re playdoh soulmates

“Oh my god, I knew explaining who Plato was was a bad idea. It’s platonic, Steve, not Play-Doh.”

“Stop reading over my shoulder! … How do you spell that?”

“P-L-A-T-O-N-I-C.”

“Thanks Robbie.”

she says we’re playdoh soulmates platonic soulmates.) I was worried about you and thought maybe you might be a guy but, that wasn’t as important as wanting you to be okay, you know? You still wrote me all those nice letters. You’ve made me feel really good about myself, why does it have to be different just because you’re not a girl? I can’t tell you why Robin knows about this stuff but she says I might be bysix bisexual. Not sure why I need a big fancy word for it when I didn’t have one for liking girls, I just know I care about you a lot and want you to like me. 

And you’re not a coward, you’re very very brave. You reached out first, you went for what you wanted even when I didn’t get it and tried to ask for too much too soon. And then you kept coming back to try again, even though I kept doing that. That’s so brave. 

I’m not feeling so awake anymore so I’m going to stop and have Robin mail this for me. (No way am I going out dressed like this. Her dad wears grandpa shorts dude, it’s pretty bad.) I’ll write more when I’m feeling better. Are you okay? Hope you weren’t anywhere near the mall the other night. Thanks for the rainbow song I will look for it.

Love Steve 

~

Once Eddie is done reading, he screams into his pillow for a different reason. Several, actually. 

First, he’s been so sure for the past week or so that he would never hear from Steve ever again. The only reason he’d checked his mail today was because he should have another zine coming in soon. He didn’t, but there was a yellow envelope with familiar, if slightly messier than usual handwriting on it. And inside that, stationary with colorful geometric shapes along the edges that Eddie now surmises is Robin’s. 

Second, Steve isn’t even writing to tell him to fuck off right to hell. Because yes, Eddie had heard the rumors about Steve calling Jonathan Byers a queer. The irony does send a seam of semi-hysterical laughter through his screams. It’s fine. It’s fine!

Third, Steve hasn’t been avoiding his calls. He just hasn’t been home. He’s hurt, and it sounds like his head and torso took quite a beating. Eddie remembers seeing him around school both times after the other concussions and that had looked bad enough, and that had just been his face. This sounds worse. 

Fourth, Steve is… still interested? Has talked to someone about this and might be bisexual?! Eddie’s never had anyone talk to someone else about him, has always been completely anonymous with a possible option of becoming a dirty little secret. And then the letter ends with ‘Love Steve.’ Love? Love Steve?!

Fifth, Robin knows he sent Steve that ice cream. Eddie doesn’t know what all “platonic soulmates” entails, but what if she tells him? What if she already has?!

Sixth, despite being injured, and having panic attacks apparently, Steve is still asking if he is okay. 

Seventh, beneath his name Steve had also doodled a lopsided happy face with what he can only guess is an ice pack balanced on top. Or… maybe it’s hair. Or some kind of hat. 

Any of these would be enough to make his head spin on their own, but it’s all happening at once and he doesn’t know what to do. So he screams into his pillow for a while longer, kicking his feet for good measure. 

He wants to rush out and find Steve, wherever he is. Wants to call him, but doesn’t know what he would say even if he did know the number to reach him right now. What he could say. Wants to wrap both arms around him and kiss his poor head better. Hell, if he’s turned Steve gay he doesn’t just want, he deserves to make that guy the little spoon for the first time in his life probably and just. Hold him. 

Except… he’s not sure he’s ready for face to face yet. He will be! Soon. Once all the emotions bubbling in his chest have settled a little. And after he’s pinched himself a few million more times just to make sure. But until then…

A thought occurs to him, and Eddie rolls over to frown consideringly up at the ceiling. He’s sent Steve words to comfort and reassure him before, right? Maybe there’s something else he can send, a different way of offering a part of himself to Steve until he works up the nerve to face him for real. 

It’s just going to take him a little time, and some recording equipment. 

~

Dearest Steve,

I hope this address is still okay to write to you while you stay with your friend, but I don’t know where she lives. 

You have no idea 

Holy shit man. Holy shit. Are you serious? No, strike that, you’ve been nothing but genuine in these letters and I trust you, I do. Holy shit though. It’s you. Clearly I never thought I’d actually have a chance, from the way I approached this whole thing, so you must forgive me for how utterly poleaxed, completely flabbergasted, and genuinely gobsmacked I am. 

And shit, I’m still sorry for hanging up on you. That golden years line—and this heavy secret of the most basic fact of who I am weighing on my shoulders, pressing down so hard I couldn’t breathe. I wish I’d just said something. But you’re right, I needed… space? And a push, to work up to writing the last letter I sent you. I got yours the day I put that in the mail, by the way, and that spun me even more because what if you read mine and took it all back?

But you didn’t. You didn’t, sweetheart. I’m still reeling in the best possible way. Again, axed like a pole, flabbers gasted, and gob thoroughly smacked.

Enough about me. More than enough about me. You’re concussed; I ought to wrap that gorgeous head of yours in bubble wrap and offer to fight all your battles henceforth, even against falling buildings. I’m glad you have someone out there who’s looking out for you though. I guess… you’ve told Robin about some things? Maybe these letters? Which is absolutely fine, by the way. It’s great! Fuck knows it wouldn’t have occurred to me to explain what bisexuality is, since I hardly dared to dream so big and only swing the one way myself. You’re an amazingly open-minded person by the way, Steve; I hope you know how rare that is, especially in a place like Hawkins. And Robin too, apparently. Please give her my highest regards, she is an angel among mortals and an inadvertent champion of this sad wet rag of a human being (me). 

At any rate, wishing you the speediest of recoveries and I hope you’re already feeling at least a little better. My condolences on the grandpa shorts, although personally I’m convinced you could wear a trash bag and still look like an Adonis. 

It’s taken me a little longer than I’d like to send this because I made something for you. Enclosed is a tape with some of the songs from our call that you said you liked, played acoustically by yours truly. Rainbow In The Dark is one of them. You mentioned having nightmares, and whenever I had bad dreams as a kid my mom would play for me until I calmed down. She’d hum instead of doing the words, to make it more like a lullaby. I hope it’s at least a decent distraction, sweetheart. 

Let me know if you like it? I can make one of your favorite songs too, just you let me know what they are. In the meantime, I remain, as always—

Your Secret Admirer

~

“You should tell him that you know,” Robin whispers, at some point during the fourth night in a row they’ve ended up crashed on the same bed listening to the Anti-Panic Attack Metal Mix. 

Her dad sleeps like the dead and her mom sleeps with earplugs in because he snores, so they get away with it, but Steve always insists on laying on top of the covers anyway. The friendship is still new, for all that they’re trauma bonded, and he wants to make sure she knows he’s not getting any funny ideas, that he gets the whole lesbian thing, that even though he’s new to being into a dude he’s committed to it and not wishy-washy or greedy or whatever.

He fiddles with a loose string on the blanket for a minute before answering. “No… I don’t want to freak him out again. It’s all going to be on his terms from here on out, no more pushing.”

“Well you’ve got to do something. Come on Steve, I’m invested now. Ask to meet him.”

He rolls his eyes. “What did I just say?” 

Immediately he gives an inward wince, because that came out bitchy. But Robin just snorts and murmurs “Fine,” sounding amused rather than offended, so he relaxes. 

They exist in silence for a while, side by side. Just close enough to not feel alone, drifting on the soft notes and low, rich hum. It’s soothing. 

“What if,” Robin starts, and ignores Steve’s huff. “What if you go somewhere you know he might show, and then give him the opportunity to talk to you?”

“Oh yeah,” he scoffs, “like what?”

“Summer house party.” Her whisper picks up a little in excitement as she warms to her own idea. “I bet we can find one that’s coming up soon. Everyone knows that Munson sells, it’s one of those never invited but always welcome things. Then if he doesn’t come to you, just buy some weed and see if he says anything.”

“No,” Steve whispers back. 

She rolls over to squint at him in the dark. “Just think about it, okay? You wouldn’t be forcing him to do anything, just… providing an opportunity. Come on, Stevie-evie, this is my chance to see a gay love story go right.”

“Vetoing that nickname.” With a sigh, he rolls onto his side too, facing her. “My face still looks like raw hamburger meat, Robs. I have like zero charm right now.”

The swelling has gone down, at least to where he can open his eye again but the bruising remains spectacular. It looks like a sunset exploded across the side of his face, and not in a good way. 

Robin rolls her eyes. “You’re more than just your face, dingus. It wasn’t your rugged jawline, sculpted cheekbones, or pimple-free forehead that wrote those letters, it was you. Steve.”

He goes to wrinkle his nose at the descriptions, but quickly remembers that’s still a bad idea with a swallowed grunt. “Please, never describe me again.”

“I make no promises. And anyway, if you’re willing to try makeup I think we could get most of it covered so no one’ll ever notice. Not at night, anyway.”

That gives him pause. He rolls onto his back again to think about it, staring up at the ceiling of Robin’s bedroom and tracing imaginary constellation lines between the glow in the dark stars she has up there. Beside him, he feels her settling on her back too without having to look. 

It’s not like when he’d found a little brother in Dustin—who has visited pretty much every day during Steve’s convalescence, sometimes with Erica or Mike, Lucas, and Max in tow, spouting off things he’s read in books about the various still-healing injuries. As annoying as it is, Steve appreciates that the little dork took the time to study what’s wrong with him enough to provide armchair diagnoses and give him advice about things that he already knows. 

Robin is… more of a twin than a sister. (Which, yeah, twin sister, whatever. That’s not the point.) They’re on the same wavelength in a way he’s never experienced before, not with Tommy or Carol or even Nancy. The closest thing Steve has ever had to this was during basketball games, in the heat of a play where everyone on the team knew where everyone was and where they’d be and how to work together as a unit, perfectly in sync. Only with Robin, it’s all the time. Sometimes they can even finish each other’s sentences—though they try not to do that around her parents, in the interest of not wanting them to think they’re a couple. 

They’re more like a pair of bonded kittens at the pound, Robin says. Must be adopted together. (“Okay, but why can’t we be dogs? Dogs are cooler.” “Because, dingus, you have a one-hundred-and-twenty-seven step hair and skin routine and you’re incredibly aloof when you want to be. I could go either way, but you’re one hundred percent cat.”)

“Maybe,” he whispers finally. 

He’s not sure she’s still awake—he’s not sure he’s still awake, with the soothing music lulling him back to a calm he hadn’t felt even before he’d gone to bed the first time. But he wants to think she hears it, just like he wants to think that he’ll run into Eddie and find out what it’s like to hold his hand, maybe even kiss him, all in the same night. He’s worn lip gloss, he can deal with a little makeup. 

“Maybe I’ll go.”

~

Dear Secret Admirer,

Thank you for the tape, it’s perfect. It helps me get back to sleep because it feels like you’re there, watching over me. Like nothing bad can happen. Sometimes the nightmares still come back after but I think it’s getting better. It takes a while, you know? Last time, after the after Billy after my last concussion it took a while to stop having bad dreams. I guess the mind needs time to heal too, even if the stuff that happens to it isn’t as “real” as breaking a nose or a rib. Who knew?

I really am serious, yeah. Even though I’m me. Whatever that means. I don’t really know what to do with myself or what I want right now. (Except you. Kind of cheesy, but maybe you like that about me? I guess it’s something I always tried to hide before because the guys would’ve made fun of me, fuck knows Tommy did all of junior year, but I kind of like the idea that maybe you saw it anyway.) Once my face heals up me and Robin are going to try and get jobs together somewhere else because we’re cats that have to stick together or we’ll get stressed out and claw all the furniture. Other than that I don’t know what I want to do except leave Hawkins someday. But stick around to make sure it’s to see the kids graduate. Dustin’s starting high school in the fall, maybe you could keep an eye out for him? Curly hair, no collarbones, ego bigger than the whole state, total nerd but in a good way, even if he’s sometimes a butthead about it. He plays that game with dragons and those weird looking dice, do you know it? Him and his friends Mike and Lucas are kind of bully magnets. (Max is starting freshman year too but she can take care of herself in that department.) They’ve all been pretty down after the mall and with Will and moving away and everything. Erica, Lucas’ little sister, I guess I’m her “babysitter” now too, is still in middle school but I don’t know if she’d be glad or insulted if I waited around to see her graduate. She can take care of herself too. She and Dustin were with us for most of the Starcourt burning down and it was a lot, but kids are resilient. I don’t think she gets nightmares, not that she would ever admit to anyone if she did even though in her own words “we’ve bled together.” She’s getting into the nerdy dice game too and is planning her campaign for President of the USA as soon as she turns, what, 40? 50? Whatever age you have to be before you can do that. I’ll probably still be in a town like Hawkins with another lame retail job by then, but she’s got my vote. She’d do a hell of a lot better job than Regan, that’s for sure. 

Is your mom My mom never sang to

Also, you are really good at guitar, man. I still think about your hands, I bet you have long fingers. Really… What’s a word for ‘good with his fingers’? I think about that sometimes. I don’t really know what kind of stuff two guys can do together except the obvious but I think about that a lot. I want you to play me like your guitar. I’d let you fight my battles too, at least until my ribs get back to normal and then we can both fight both of our battles. You know I’d do that for you, right? If you ever need me. I really like these letters. I really like you.

Love, Steve

P.S. If you were serious about making me another tape (which you really don’t have to, this was already going above and beyond), my favorite songs are…

Tag list (and if you missed the earlier chapters check the "#secret admirer steddie" tag on my blog): @hotluncheddie @lawrencebshoggoth @sofadofax @tangerinesteve @steviewashere

@cryingglightningg @theresebelivett @sleepy-steve @rozzieroos @lunaraindrop

@just-my-latest-hyperfixation @wheneverfeasible @swimmingbirdrunningrock @yesdangerpls @matchingbatbites

@ihavekidneys @p0lybl4nkk @grtwdsmwhr @cheesedoctor @whalesharksart

@thetinymm @envyadams-vs-me @practicallybegging @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @dauntlessdiva

@nerdyglassescheeseychick @fuzzyduxk @chaosgremlinmunson @greatwerewolfbeliever @goosesister

@dolphincliffs @friendlyneighborhoodgaycousin @beckkthewreck @pitrsattabhaadmeinjao @kurofuckingshi16

@bookworm0690 @millseyes-world @live-laugh-love-dietrich @the-tenth-mus-e

[daemon-in-my-head]

Past Life Dark Urge Asks - 9th Edition:

OK but how does Durge actually view relationships and romance?

What does their room look like? Describe it to me. Neat? Messy? Organised mess where everything has its place?

What's their favourite spot to hang out at after a long day of temple managing and murdering in Father's name? Is it by the altar, their desk, a certain someone's office or by the docks?

Gorion's Ward was a hero and a Bhaalspawn that defied Bhaal. But they're also a powerful person who rose far above many, as well as the reason Sarevok once returned. What does Durge think of them? Is he an idol or a villain to them? When did their view of them change or do they perhaps even feel pity for the sibling which had been led astray?

Durge loves efficient killing, but what was their one little indulgence whenever they did it? I don't mean getting loot, keeping trinkets. Did they perhaps draw out the hunt or play with the mouse unfortunate enough to fall into their trap?

There's this funny bit that Durge refused to clean themselves, but is it true for yours? Did they indeed always carry the scent of entrails or did they bathe regularly? After all, Bhaals Scion has a reputation to uphold.

Speaking of Water, Baldur's Gate is a Port City. What did Durge think of the sea? Did they long to sail or do they prefer solid ground beneath their feet? Did they feel any connection, or was it just a body of water, perfect to drown some innocent souls?

Durge is clearly a skilled master of their craft, but would they ever consider taking an apprentice? Perhaps they already did? Or would they absolutely detest those who yet lack skill and prefer they attain it on their own?

Orin makes for a great spy and even the Bhaalist Temple relies on intelligence to survive and operate more efficiently. Did Durge ever try to help out Orin in attempts to gather intel? What was it like? Did they charm their way into hearts and minds, or did they rely on the thing they did best, a skillful killing?

Bhaalspawn are pretty similar to Aasimar in every aspect, well except that Aasimar are children of celestials and good aligned powers while Bhaalspawn hail from the Lord of Murder. What did Durge think of their goody-two-shoes counterparts?

Bhaal is widely hated or feared, as are Bhaalspawn, but what does Durge think about that notion? Would they hunt down anyone who dares speak I'll of their father, or could they not care any less? Do they perhaps revel in that fear and hatred?

If Durge knew they'd lose all their memories in the future, what would they think? Would they weep for their treasured moments or perhaps even feel delighted about forgetting a dreaded past?

Name a personality trait of theirs which is, in theory, something great, but they've taken it to such extremes it became something negative.

How is Durge handling failure? Do they handle it at all or do they just refuse to acknowledge any?

Would Past Life Durge like for their life's story to be told and remembered? Why or why not? In what way would they have liked it to be remembered?

In general, how does your Durge cope with stress, life, and the things that happened? How did it affect them? Are there any lasting effects from an outburst once?

On a scale of 1 to 10, how easily does your Durge snap? 1 being the world could end, and they'd barely be mildly inconvenienced, and 10 being somebody looks funny in their direction, and the next minute, they're in a nasty brawl.

What is their favorite spell? It doesn't have to be one they themselves know or learned. Just a spell they think is neat, handy, cool, etc.

If there happened to be a street fair in the Gate, would they attend? Yes or no, who would they go with, what would it be like visiting one of those with them?

Bhaal was a netherese arcanist. Does Durge, considering they're made from Bhaals flesh, consider themselves to be netherese? Have they ever thought about these things or do they simply not care?

I totally forgot I had these I'm sorry lmao. They've been rotting away in my drafts the whole time.

[space-blue]

Me doing crimes against my companions

They truly cattered to every freak possible.

Look at these nerds! Reading together! Shared central piece with carpet for easy access to each other's tent... I have to freqently remind Gale we're a thing, because the bloodweave is borderline canon!! And we can't be a trouple because some people don't like sharing, right, Gale??

I learned the instrument feat just to make my little guys dance and they're HARDCORE IGNORING ME!!!

Clown power posing face off.

Also I love that Astarion approves if you force anyone else on stage, but will disapprove TWICE if made to go up

In fucking stitches over the Gortash portraits. You know the mods that turn everyone into a Kpop beauty boy? Gortash would approve of them for himself, 100%

I'm making a Tav comic about seeing Rolan like this. It's coming. It'll be the same energy as the Zevlor one, yes. More murdering though.

Astarion talking back to a Djinni and being transformed into a wheel of cheese for the meagre cost of 500 gold! Best use of my fictional money.

I still question why Gale has abs, but I don't question the fact this outfit has the ring RIGHT OVER THE ORB, I'm sorry babygirl you're keeping the bondage undies...

ALSO if you put him in the celestial whatever, basically the princess Leia outfit Figaro sells you, he shows cheek, and truly, truly Larian catters to the freaks and it's incredible...

Like what is this bit of booty and how come I'm getting it for free aaaah!!!!

Man doesn't have the strength to open a jar of pickles, but he still religiously visits the bench press to have the perfect abs for his Tav. Gods bless.

Also the back of this undie has basically a bitch strap. You can have a bitch strap on Astarion, and then give him an open back shirt and grab him any time you need to yank him out of situations.

Also love how the design is altered to give garters to fem bodies but also make sense for someone with a tail. I bet it'll look hot as all shit on dargonborn Durge.

The face he was making while I was asked this question...

Durgeposting... based on this Hannibal meme

[moghedien]

ok I'm gonna start emo durge posting now and I just wanna say like...I wish the game had let you express just how fucking complicated I feel like my durge's feelings for Orin is

like honestly I get why rpgs can't take into account all the big emotions that a character could have for every event, but like I wish I could at least hint at how complicated the Orin situation is for a good durge

because on one hand, Orin is evil. Cartoonishly evil even. She's playing with you and everyone else like a cat playing with their prey before they kill it. Murdering is her only goal, specifically murdering for daddy Bhaal.

And just on a character level, she has done the most to hurt you. She's the reason why you have no memories. She took your life from you. She's the reason why you're fighting the tadpole in your head. She's the reason why all of your friends and loved ones are fighting the tadpole in your head. She kidnapped one of those friends. She murdered people just to take their place so she can spy on you. She stole your life and identity and made have to start anew not knowing who you are or why all you want to do is hurt everyone around you.

But in a fucked up, unintentional way, Orin saved you.

If she hadn't attacked you and taken your place and stuck a tadpole in your head, you would be Bhaal's Chosen. You would be the same mass murdering cannibalistic psychopath that Bhaal shaped you into since you were a child who was made to murder the family that took them in and raised them. You would be one of the villains your current friends faced, and you probably would have killed them all or enslaved them with the tadpoles in their heads, and you wouldn't have thought anything of it. They wouldn't be people to you, just meat to pile up to get you closer to reaching Bhaal's true goal of ending everyone and everything. You were going to do it too.

The closest thing you ever had to a friend was the Chosen of the god of tyranny, your sister who attacked you and took everything from you, and the grotesque unnatural servant your daddy sent to fawn over you. That's not even getting into account the things Gortash and Orin have directly done to two people you might be close to now, or even romantically involved with. Those were the people you kept company with. Those were the only people who you thought liked you, and clearly you misjudged how much Orin actually did.

By the time you can get into learning more about Orin, you know what you are and you've already made the decision to reject or accept Bhaal. If you've resisted him, if you've expressed to Jaheira or whoever that you want to be free of him, you're aware of what you are. And you've found some evidence of what you've done in your past. If you've been hit with a heal spell, you've seen your first murders, and you know that you were shaped into this as a child. And you might have been Bhaal's spawn made directly by him, but at least there was a moment, however brief, where you were just a kid being raised by a family that took you in. Until Bhaal changed that with the Urges.

But Orin? You find out more about Orin that she knows herself. You can find out just how fucked her parentage actually is with Sarevok being both her father and grandfather. You can find out she was lied to about why her mother attacked her as a child and how Sarevok abused and manipulated both of them while she thought he adored her. She was born and raised into a Bhaalist upbringing, having literally no other context or experience. You at least had a few years as a seemingly normal child.

And even then, she was second to you. She was in your shadow, following your commands, and you can find your own writings that made it clear that you did not treat her well. You didn't respect her. If there was ever any kind of bond between the two of you as you were growing up, that was gone by the time you begun the alliance with Gortash and Ketheric, and she was well in your shadow.

And by the time you learn all of this, you have actual friends. You have people who love and admire you. You have people who are grateful to you for saving them and going above and beyond to keep people safe. You probably have a romantic partner and you've probably begun making plans for afterward. You have people that have guided you down a lighter path, that are actually trying to help you be good and happy and who want help you even when you're scary. There are people who know what you are and what you've done and the fact that you were at the center of creating the mess that everyone is in now, and they're still with you.

What does Orin have?

Only a cult of people who worship her out of fear, people that have abused her, and the knowledge that despite her best efforts, you're still coming to punish her for defying you.

But regardless of everything else, you would not have gotten anything you have now if Orin hadn't cracked your skull open.

Orin is the only reason you can be redeemed. Even if you're the one who actively decided to be a better person after escaping the pod, you never would have gotten to that point if not for Orin. You weren't going to suddenly change while you were Bhaal's Chosen, at the top of your power and almost achieving the goals you planned out and put in motion. The only reason you had to opportunity to change is because Orin damaged you to the point of forgetting what Bhaal shaped you into. There were only empty spaces to become your own person because Orin carved them out with her knife.

In the most fucked, but undeniable way Orin saved you.

And I just can't help but wish that the game at least let me acknowledge this and how fucking complicated you can feel about Orin.

Or at least let me ponder if maybe it isn't possible to at least try to do something for your fucked up little sister who never had or wanted anything but Bhaal, yet still managed to save you from him. Even if its not possible, even if you couldn't have really tried, I wish that the desire to try or some contemplation on that had been possible.

[attackmybutt]

my one and only complain about romanced astarion ascended route is the dialogue choices given during the night after his ascension when he asks tav/durge what reward they want and the options are as follow 1. "I want to be a vampire", 2. "I want your body", 3. "Hope you learned a lesson from this" and 4. "don't call me pet"

And frankly, from a role playing perspective, NONE of these dialogue align to something my character would say at moment. Their true answer would be something along the lines of "Nothing" to "For you feel safe and powerful" "You got what you wanted, that's enough for me."

1. My character never thought of becoming a vampire, it never crossed their mind, they have other things far more important than the possibility to be one. That is until Astarion himself brings up the subject, then that's when they will think about it, but not before that.

2. They don't want Astarion for his body. If anything they want ALL of Astarion, that includes his heart and soul and only if he wants to. And its not something they'll ask for in the context of what is being asked of them at that current moment.

3. Lesson to be learned? Lesson what? There's nothing to be learned from anything. I fail to see what kind of lessons needs to be learned from this. But it's apparently something along the lines of learning to love the player, not becomign Cazador and not being asshole for gaining power. It just feels like a stupid choice.

4. Bro, since when a term of endearment is offensive? Is it because ascended Astarion is saying it and thus it's evil an dobjectifying the player? Whaaa? Why is the only place in the game where a player character gets to be offended by pet names, if it's going to be a thing at least make it so across the game.

That's it that's my only complain, the lack of being able to roleplay the scene the way I want to that fits my character and none of these answers are it. The only thing they wanted has already been granted- for Atsarion to get what he wanted, whether it be a good choice or bad.

[lizzychanstuffss]

Bite Back

A fic idea that's been banging around in my head. Also inspired by a convo me and @littlemistermedly had about this lmao

Astarion x Tiefling!durge!Tav GN

Synopsis: So I learned tieflings can drink blood....so anyways here's a fic about a tief durge/tav biting Astarion to taste him. This is super self-indulgent btw.

Set in act 2 after his confession.

You looked up at the vampire as he read his book overlooking the fire. Resting in his lap as you recovered from him feeding on you. But you couldn't help but wonder something...what does his blood taste like?

Your intense stare was not lost on the man, he finally looked down meeting your gaze.

"Yes, darling?" He spoke as he reached a hand down to move some hair from your face. "I can't help but notice you have been staring at me." Giving you one of his smiles, he found it endearing at least you thought he did, but there was also a sense of curiosity present in his gaze.

"Can I bite you?" The question caught him off guard, although considering your nature he really shouldn't have been that surprised. After composing himself Astarion finally provides a reply to your question.

"I wouldn't be opposed to you biting me, but can I ask why?" he raised an eyebrow out of amused confusion. You smiled at him and thought for a moment before answering.

"You always bite me....I want to bite you....also I want to know what your blood tastes like." You stared at him, content in your answer. He let out a chuckle, a cool hand stroking your cheek gently.

"Well...I don't see why not?" He took in your laying form with crimson eyes. Before he says anything else you carefully prop yourself up to face him eye to eye, a smile as you thought of where you wanted to drink from him.

"So then, where would you like to bite me, my love?" He sits waiting for you to choose where would be a good place to sink your teeth in.

"Hmm, how about your neck then, like how you bite me." You paused before asking "Is that alright?" Giving him a concerned look before you do anything.

"Of course, darling" Astarion then moved his camp shirt to the side revealing more of his pale skin, the whole process felt rather intimate as you moved in closer to his neck. You started to get eager wondering what his taste would even be, maybe it would be similar to his scent. The faintest scent of decay disguised by what seemed to be rosemary? You couldn't quite place it.

He snakes a hand up into your hair as you often did when he fed on you and you mimicked the gesture. Then finally you went for it, sinking your own fangs into his neck. It paid to be a tiefling sometimes. He let out a surprised gasp of sorts, you weren't entirely paying attention as his blood seeped from the puncture wounds on his neck. It was certainly not the taste you had expected from the occasional animal blood you had tasted on your adventure thus far.

And while your memories were scattered you have a very distinct hunch that you have drank humanoid blood before and this was nothing like that. It was sour, a bit like a lemon but slightly sweeter. Oddly enough the taste was fairly decent overall. You drank a little bit, more after all this was merely to taste him not to get sustenance, unlike him.

Once you felt like you had gotten enough of a taste you released his neck, licking up what blood still dripped out of the puncture wound savoring the taste of it on your tongue, then pressing a gentle kiss to the twin holes now seemingly already healing. Once you got a look at his face there seemed to be something akin to a blush spread across those pearlescent cheeks.

Clearing his throat before speaking "What did you think, did I taste good?" He seemed a little embarrassed but also genuinely concerned he might taste bad, although you're not sure why anyone would just go around trying to drink his blood randomly besides you. Chuckling a little before you spoke.

"It was a bit like a lemon but a little sweeter, I liked it personally but it certainly wasn't to everyone's taste." Smirking at him as he relaxed his shoulders a bit, was he really that concerned that he tasted bad?

"I see...well as long as you didn't think it was disgusting then I suppose I’ll take it." He let out one of his classic laughs to tease a bit. Causing you to roll your eyes and place a kiss on his cheek before he hooked his hand under your chin so your lips could meet for a slightly more passionate kiss.

Sharing a few kisses before he breaks your mini-makeout session. "This is nice." He lets out a contented sigh before kissing you again. "Mhm...thank you for letting me, I know you didn't have to." Flushing slightly as you spoke.

"Well....I will admit I was curious as well." he laughed a bit, you couldn't help but chuckle in reply. It was cute when he got like this. "I see, well I wouldn't mind doing it again if you wanted me to." Your words mirror the conversation you had the day after the first time he took your blood, picking up on this the man couldn't be a little cheeky and.

"Maybe later," He said before giving you a gentle kiss again before the two of you turned in for the night. 

[y-rhywbeth2]

Karlach and Durge's relationship has fun elements that I, for some reason, started thinking on this morning.

Aside from some similarities (the offspring/descendent of powerful beings of the lower planes, whose kind are brought into existence as pawns/displays of power; were given basically no choice about serving their evil relative; who are/were made into living weapons; and the homicidal rages they need to keep under control (and as Zariel is known for her seething homicidal rage, Karlach could actually have inherited it the way Durge gets it from Bhaal))

There's that delightful 'I can fix them' mentality Karlach is bringing to the relationship. Always a good sign. We learned nothing from the Gortash shenanigans.

She talks about getting Durge psychiatric help when they get the city and, while that's a nice sentiment (and I assume she's actually talking about clerical healing at a fully staffed temple or something), I do remember what Faerûn's 'asylums' ('howling keeps') are like, and being locked up in a cell forever (at best) does not strike me as a good time. I just picture Durge hearing that, thinking of how people handle the dangerously 'crazed-witted' and getting ready to bolt. No nope nope no.

Speaking of Gortash: assuming Durge's handwriting hasn't been fundamentally altered by the TBI, they're going to recognise themselves praising the evil genius that is the guy who sold their new friend/lover to slavery in Hell and then have to look Karlach in the eye.

Then there's issue that is Gortash and Durge vs Durge and Karlach vs Gortash and Karlach's relationships. Even though Gortash is projecting and doesn't think there is an issue. 'That was literally a month-to-a-decade ago, why are you mad?' And I'm pasting that conversation, because I like looking at it.

Karlach: 'I don't give a shit about your agreement.' Lord Enver Gortash: 'Then why in the Nine Hells have you come back here, Karlach? What could you possibly want?!' Karlach: 'How about an apology for sending me to the Hells?' Lord Enver Gortash: 'Sorry?! You want me to be sorry for helping you gain more power than you've ever known? That thing in your chest is a blessing I helped you receive. One you're too much of a fool to see. I gave you a clean slate. A chance to rejoin me for our mutual benefit - again.'

(What a guy. God, I want to cut his skull open with a spoon and stare at the contents.)

Durge, of course can start swooning over how brilliant the durgetash alliance is, or, not unreasonably, assume - having only Karlach's accounts of Gortash's betrayal, and the knowledge that they were brutally tortured for a month in the building where the guy works - that he might've fucked them over too.

'I seem to have trusted you once, and it ruined me. I'm not about to repeat that mistake.'

Are we stewing in mutual resentment of an old partner, or are we going to hit a massive problem if Durge wants something of their old life back? There is so much unexplored drama in this part of Act 3 and their mutual arc, it pains me.

Plus Karlach should probably be wondering if Durge had anything to do with her enslavement. They almost certainly didn't timeline wise, because if Karlach was shipped off to Avernus 10 years ago then she was gone the year Bhaal came back and gained the ability to pick Chosen, so the window of opportunity for Durge and Gortash to meet (if it exists) is insanely narrow. But the doubt should be there.

And of course the fact that if you romance her and she undergoes ceremorphosis you can tell her how hot it is when she eats people's brains and she goes 'thanks love.'

[crossdressingdeath]

Now that I have everyone's responses to the "Durge was an Absolutist leader" reveal, I have thoughts. I think the whole thing works best if you tell the party about you being Bhaalspawn before going to the inauguration, because if you do that they're all like "It's okay, you don't have to be evil, you can fight your father, you have to fight your father" and while some Durges would probably be upset about the repeated insistence that they Mustn't Be Evil it's definitely well-intentioned and they want to support you. And then you get to the inauguration and they're furious about the Absolutist reveal. Which is mostly fair (Shadowheart getting mad at you specifically for not telling anyone when she knows you have amnesia is just a little unreasonable), but it's also like. all that support goes away the second they learn you weren't a good little non-murdery heroic Bhaalspawn like Gorion's Ward. To be fair, their anger and sense of betrayal are understandable, it's a hell of a thing to learn and I get the sense that the party really doesn't grasp just how strong Bhaal's hold on Durge is (I don't think it's a coincidence that Jaheira and Minsc are two of the calmest about the Bhaalspawn reveal or that Jaheira takes the Bhaal's Chosen reveal better than most of the party, they have more experience and so have a better understanding of what being Bhaalspawn actually means, but even they don't as far as I'm aware know about the "literally crafted from Bhaal's divine essence" situation)! I can definitely see why they for the most part react so overwhelmingly negatively, I would too in their position. But at the same time... poor Durge? I mean, they've just learned that they were a leader of the cult that stuck a tadpole in their and most of their friends' heads and is trying to take over the world. While the response to that would vary depending on the Durge, that's a heavy thing to suddenly have to deal with! And then the closest thing to support they get from the party is Minthara and Jaheira saying "Well, you fucked up big time but you can still sort of make up for it" and a couple party members not responding to it at all. The only person in this situation who seems pleased to have them around right now is Gortash.

...I wonder if that's part of the reason why Gortash chooses to reveal all of this here and now in front of the party rather than trying to find a moment to talk to Durge privately. It wouldn't have been hard for him to say "Well, I want to talk to the leader of your group privately and I won't give you any information until I get to do so," make it into some sort of power play or something and then explain the situation once they were alone. It might even have been smarter, since that way the party wouldn't be suspicious of Durge. But instead he spills the beans in front of everyone, driving a wedge between Durge and the rest of the group. The others love Durge enough to stick by them even after the reveal, but Gortash couldn't have known that would be the case when he told them! It doesn't make sense to deliberately cause problems among the party if he wants them working together as a team to deal with Orin for him, but it does make sense if his ultimate goal is to get rid of the rest of the party so he and Durge can rule together as was the original plan. After all, if the group decided they don't want a (former) Absolutist leader around and chase Durge away, where could Durge go other than straight to Gortash?

[sky-kiss]

Hi! This might be weird, but it's been with me for quite a while and been meaning to share this with you/prompt you with it/get your take/whatever 😁. What about Raphael failing with his coup and having to live on the material plane without his powers? What about Tav/Durge OR Jaheira offering his sorry ass a place and then getting the joy of watching him struggle with common human ailments, like needing reading glasses, throwing out his back, indigestion,... ? 😅

Not weird at all! I'm unfortunately in like work/school hell right now, so I don't have a lot of writing time. But I love this idea. It'd be really fun to develop as like. A slow burn quasi humor ficlet.

God. I don't have a ton of ideas for a generic Tav/Durge (I don't enjoy writing them), but will try and come up with a few.

As for Jaheira:

Offers Raphael a room in Astarion's mansion. Neither of the lads question this.

Ends up staying in her basement.

Rion wants to know why mother-dearest is smuggling men into their home. Then she meets the man. She understands why he should never be seen.

Harper Recruit Raphael. It takes him a few days to get truly charismatic in the way mortals appreciate and not just "veiled threats, but charming."

Replaces the contents of Jaheira's wine cellar with "wine less suited to a vulgar, and altogether common, palette."

Is grateful for the silence of her study.

Cannot keep a plant alive to save his mortal life.

Offers to make a deal with the daughter that wants to be queen---has to bunk with Astarion for a month as punishment.

Actually, gets genuinely good at the Harper business, enjoys the political aspect of it (he's just softening up the city for when he returns to his true form, dear)

Takes a copious amount of naps in the sun.

Furious whenever he has to sleep outdoors. He's a noble devil, not some peasant boy.

Near-sighted. He refuses to wear glasses until the half-elf says they look "learned. dashing. whatever you need to hear, little prince---so long as you can see."

Tav/Durge:

More contentious. Tav/Durge is younger and prone to more zany antics. Raphael's mortal body gets tired more easily.

Their penchant for chaos is less endearing when he's consistently thrown into the warpath.

Enlists them to try and get his powers backs.

Enemies to lovers.

Still near-sighted. Tav does not think to recommend glasses. Raphael refuses to adjust.

It's a lot more of a learning curve for both of them? Tav/Durge is like a wind. Raphael is very constant.

You can determine if they work it out. :D

Apologies for this not being something more. I love the idea. I'd love to steal it later. Always feel free to drop byyyyy.

[brain-rot-central]

In Sonnet AA is just a more powerful Astarion or the ascension changed him drastically in some way?What do you make of Mephistophele's deal (or any deal with a devil in general)?

So... My interpretation of Astarion is that UA and AA both exist within him from the start.

Throughout the game we see the two sides of him warring for dominance. And tbh, he's kind of an asshole from the get. Like, he isn't a nice person. He's a jerk, but he learns compassion as the game goes on because someone (Tav/Durge) finally extended a hand to him. Someone finally sees him. It's the theory of "love breeds kindness" being displayed.

The ascension route his him choosing himself despite this, strictly out of fear of another being having control over him again and it exacerbates all of his worst qualities since he's delving deeper into his paranoia. He's walling himself off, basically. Regressing, which happens a lot with abuse victims.

And as much as he tries telling himself that the ascension "killed the weaker version of himself," all it really did is shove that part of him down beneath six feet of dirt. He never made peace with it so much as he views it as an embarrassment and a source of shame. But when it comes to Tav, that part of him screams the loudest. And he hates it, because it reminds him of how weak and vulnerable he felt.

Basically reminds him that the concept of love makes him uncomfortable because to love someone is to be vulnerable. You'll do and withstand things you normally wouldn't with other people. Love is an opportunity for you to be softer and to have someone hold you. That scares the shit out of him, because he's no longer totally in control. You essentially become a willing participant for the other person, and you hope that they'll continue to extend the same courtesy to you.

I also don't agree with the notion that just because he's ascended, he now suddenly knows everything. Nothing about the ascension changes what has already happened to him, or his experiences. He may put on an air as if it has, and the whole point of it is to distract you from the realization that he still doesn't know shit about being an ascended/true vampire (his first humanoid blood was the PC and that was literally like... one/two months ago).

The man has zero idea how to turn someone and it's probably a nerve-racking experience for him, which is why he becomes so personally offended if you refuse his offer to become his consort. Because in a way, it's him being vulnerable with you. He has no idea what he's doing but he's willing to try if it means you both get to spend eternity together. He's essentially proposing to you in the only way he knows how. He also doesn't know SHIT about any of his powers/abilities yet.

He's a little fledging vampire who's been given the keys to the Lamborghini, essentially. But heaven forbid anyone else see that.

I don't think he lost his soul in the deal. I think moreso he's riding an insane high of 1) finally being free of Cazador's influence and 2) no longer having the insatiable hunger that plagued him for 200 years. For the first time in two centuries his mind is completely clear and his own again.

But I do believe there are some trade-offs to the ascension. Like for instance, uncovering a werebat form if he's too emotionally charged/cannot control himself. I also hc that he eventually starts hearing the voices of those sacrificed during the ritual, especially if he delves too deeply into a dark path.

TL;DR: the UA/AA versions of Astarion exist from the beginning and I still think they exist post-ascension. Just with the ascension, he's letting the worst qualities of himself win. I don't see that as a permanent thing.

The deal with Mepho changes nothing about him on a personal level; he doesn't lose his soul in the deal but there are some consequences of the deal -- becoming grotesque and/or hearing voices of those sacrificed in the ritual. He feels good and it just reinforces the arrogant behavior he displayed early on, as it's a point of regression for his overall development.

[katyusha454]

Random idea I had today that should be a fic but I'll probably never write it so here, have the outline.

Okay but imagine being Durge. You wake up on the nautiloid with nothing but a name and some intrusive thoughts. No memory whatsoever. You're confused as fuck. Nothing makes any sense.

But then you find out that Shadowheart had her memories taken too. This is exciting! There's someone else like you! You wonder if maybe you're like her, if you also serve this "Shar", whoever she is. But no, Shadowheart's confident whatever took your memories wasn't Shar; your symptoms are too different from hers.

But! That doesn't mean Shar doesn't approve of you. All loss and forgetfulness ultimately belongs to her. Shadowheart is reluctant to tell you much at first, but as she gets more comfortable with you she talks more freely about her faith and you won't lie, it's kind of appealing. Your memory loss isn't a problem, it's a blessing! And oblivion doesn't sound so bad in comparison to your constant murderous urges.

Then you learn more. Shadowheart talks about torture. You read "Mistress of the Night and Friends", you visit Grymforge and learn about the sacrifices. Not only does Shar love you for your memory loss, she could also give you an outlet for your urges?!? This is awesome!

You start praying with Shadowheart. Not as often as she does, but it becomes a part of your daily routine. You spend more and more time talking about religious stuff with her. She's thrilled to have the company of someone who thinks like her, who respects her beliefs and doesn't act like she's a bad person for having them. She admits that she'd been having some doubts about her faith, but that spending time with you has really helped reassure her that she's on the right path.

By the time you reach the shadow-cursed lands, Lady Shar is sort of your unofficial patron goddess. The shadow curse does still disturb you, and it's frustrating that only Shadowheart gets protection from it, but she reassures you that it's probably just because you're not a real Sharran yet. She promises that once you get to Baldur's Gate she'll bring you to the cloister and you can join up for real.

It's probably for the best that you decide to tell that weird little butler dude to fuck off when he tells you to kill Isobel. You know you're supposed to hate Selûnites, but there's no way in hell you're gonna take orders from this nasty-ass goblin man. If he was a Sharran it'd be different, but he's very obviously not one and you don't trust him. Which is good; becoming the Slayer would have marked you out as a Bhaalist when the only god whose favor you seek is your Lady.

You complete the Gauntlet at Shadowheart's side. She explains that you don't have the religious knowledge and training necessary to be a true Dark Justiciar, but it's giving you an excellent head start if Lady Shar ever calls you to that path. The two of you practically devour the religious texts in the Silent Library, and when you find the Spear of Night you both quickly realize the implications.

Nightsong dies, of course. It's difficult to keep your urge to carve up her alabaster flesh yourself under control, but you stay strong and let Shadowheart do her duty uninterrupted. When she becomes Lady Shar's Chosen, she offers to induct you into the church right there and then, right in the heart of your Lady's domain. You eagerly accept.

What you discover beneath Moonrise Towers horrifies you. You realize that your memory loss truly is a blessing. Lady Shar has rescued you from horrors beyond imagining and you're immensely grateful. Once it's all over, you and Shadowheart celebrate a Nightfall feast in the Towers' dining hall. Most of your party does not join in.

You've never been able to feel the state of total emptiness that Shadowheart feels in her meditations. Finding out that you're a Bhaalspawn explains why. Lady Shar will never accept you now...will She?

You reject your birthright. You will serve no god but Lady Shar. When Withers brings you back from the dead, you can finally feel that sacred emptiness. For the first time in your limited memory, you feel peace at last. Now all that's left to do is help Shadowheart purge your Lady's church and put an end to the Absolute.

You got what you wanted. Why does your victory feel so hollow? So...empty?

[animentality]

I feel the reason why we don’t see a lot of people in the fandom who loudly hate durgetash or durgetash shippers (compared to the very loud backlash against people who, for example, headcanon Asterian as a doting father family man or etc) is that I think the Durgetash delusion is just kind of. Easy to understand? In general. Even for people who dont like or ship it. Like even though it’s very much a delusion built out of random scraps of game lore and notes and character animations, I feel like those scraps are so generically Compelling that it’s easy can see how people actually got here, way more than other obviously delusional ships in other fandoms. Or even in this one. Like you can’t really explain from anything in game why you think Asterian would make a good father (no offense to anyone on that grind 😭). But you can point to the prayer for forgiveness and Gortash’s unique animations when talking to Durge specifically, and recognise at LEAST what got people started, if not the fanon that followed.

Ironically this could ALSO be delusional on my part lol like maybe I’m just not seeing it somehow, but genuinely I have not noticed anywhere near the amount of discourse over Durgetash as I would expect from a similar ship in literally any other fandom. So I have just been trying to think about why! Is the delusion ultimately that sympathetic or are we just so in our own bubble that people don’t even know?

(Especially when Gortash himself is so very hated by most normal players for VERY correct reasons. Like he is SO hate-able. And I do see tons of posts of people saying they don’t get why people like him, but never to the level of what I would consider discourse. My Karlach-loving ass sure hated him until I played Durge and paid more attention to him and learned to enjoy him more from that funny gay villain angle, while still maintaining that Karlach and the Gondians and every refugee in the outer city deserve to beat him into a pulp ultimately - but I feel thats a common origin story for durgetashers lol)

You missed the outcry over the Franc letter being edited, huh?

We had a good couple of days of "Gortash isn't bisexual" discourse.

It's the most rowdy I've ever seen the fandom.

But you're correct in that Astarion fans will always be louder.

Gortash is evil and he's harder to woobify.

Doesn't mean we won't do it, though.

As for the general reason for Durgetash not being as intense as other ships, well.

How many people really play the Dark Urge?

Not many, I'd warrant. How many people care about Gortash at all?

Not many.

Now how many ship those two together....a good number, but it's still a small population, compared to the Astarion, Gale, Lae'zel, Shadowheart, Karlach fans out there.

So it's just smaller, is all.

We try not to elbow each other too much, or we'll crowd crush in the broom closet of the hospital we're all crammed in, as Astarion fans are brought into Emergency Care after a night down in the discourse mines.

[istoleyoursk1n]

How would they (Origin + Halsin) react to a Tav that's taller than them? If it's even possible to be taller than Halsin lmao

•❅───────────✧❅✦❅✧───────────❅•

How would they react to a Tav that's taller than them?

( Added the possibility of your Tav/Durge carrying them so I have more to work with. All for more content tho lmao )

.

.

: ̗̀➛ ASTARION

“Why not ask our walking street lamp if they can see anything from here? Gods, with all that height they ought to do something useful with it.”

Irritated.

He’s already shorter compared to the others in their camp, what more when he's standing next to you?

If anything he's frustrated that he has to break his neck every time he needs to speak with you.

Demands that you Crouch/get on his level instead if you both need to talk. He’d rather you get all the neck aches than him.

He only gets mildly defensive when he senses you looming over him but he eventually becomes accustomed to it, and soon enough, he learns to like it.

Having someone tall enough to reach things for him without having to exert so much effort is a lovely little advantage for him.

And if you have the ability to ever so easily lift him up? He’d love it even more. Now he doesn't have to walk! Plus being in your arms is something he finds oddly comforting. He wouldn't admit it out loud just yet but being encapsulated by your warmth does something to his undead heart.

: ̗̀➛WYLL

“Nothing wrong with having a particularly height-boosted companion tag along in our exciting misadventures! Though I do hope we manage to find some armor to fit you.”

Surprised but he didn't find it all too bad. People come in all shapes and sizes after all.

He doesn't exactly treat you any differently because of your height, he’ll make the usual playful remark here and there about it but nothing more.

A small chuckle would come out of him every time your height causes you to bend your head to fit through doorways or if you accidentally hit something but he’d be there to make sure you weren't too hurt.

Similar to Astarion, he's grateful for your height advantages since you can grab things for him or even run longer distances.

Would be a laughing mess if you do manage to pick him up, he's never actually been picked up from the ground so easily that it startles him in the best way possible.

Would playfully call you his knight in shining armor just until you put him down.

: ̗̀➛GALE

“I’m not quite sure if this is the result of some sort of magic elixir or if you were given the extra growth spurs by chance.”

‘Well alright then-’

It's not as if he hasn't seen people taller than him, sure the neck pains are going to be bothersome but it's not something he wants you to feel bad for.

Depending on the species you are, he’d question how you’d somehow come to be so tall.

Nothing but harmless questions honestly, he’d probably ask a story in regards to your height at some point but he wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

Besides, if he wished to be tall too he could have used a spell on himself but he doesn't need to.

Your imposing height can be used to intimidate enemies so there's that. Regardless, he sees your height as something that has its own perks.

Baffled when you manage to lift him up. He spends at least five seconds struggling because he doesn't quite understand what just happened and he doesn't know what he should be holding onto. Somehow his hand ends up on your face at some point.

Relaxes soon enough and happily stays in your arms for however long you wish to keep him there. Now he won't stop talking your ear off and praising you as per usual.

: ̗̀➛KARLACH

“And just when I thought I was tall, in came you! I mean just look at you! I bet you can see damn well anything from up there!“

WHOA. <—Her inner reaction

She's the one of the tallest in your little group so of course she's surprised to see someone who towers over her.

She can't get over the fact that she has to look up at you every time you both speak to one another.

With your permission, she refers to you both as ‘ Tall buddies ‘

I mean hey! The taller you are the more huggable you must be right? At least that's what she thinks.

Surprised if you do manage to lift her off the ground, practically squealing and laughing out loud from the mere fact that someone had managed to lift her even an inch off the ground.

She'd have the time of her life in all honesty.

If your body could manage it, she’d be so on board with going on a piggyback ride. She hasn't had one since she was a mere little tiefling! You haven't seen her laugh so loudly in such a long time, it's wonderful.

: ̗̀➛SHADOWHEART

“And your height proves what sort of concern for me? Unless you're bumping into doorways I doubt we’d have any trouble.”

She isn't bothered by it in the slightest, she hardly even cares about the fact that you're taller than her.

While it is sort of tiresome to constantly frame her neck so that she's constantly looking up at you, it's not something she ever complains about.

She won't make a single comment on it unless you’re visibly struggling to get through door frames and or average-sized spaces (if you are then how tall must you be lmao)

It’s more of her asking a single question as to how you manage with your height and if there is anything that could be done. Other than that, she’d move along.

A bit tense if you ever do decide to use your height advantage to pick her up.

She doesn't know what to do nor if this is something she’s comfortable with but she slowly eases into it, even holding you properly with a warm smile carefully forming across her face.

She takes this time to look around, noticing how much she can see from being lifted up by a taller person. She’d thank you for such a lovely little experience after you put her down.

: ̗̀➛LAE’ZEL

“Tsk’va, must we really bring this istik with us? Any charith could spot them from a mile away.”

She doesn't really care either unless your height proves to be some sort of perk in the coming battles.

And hey, if you can somehow intimidate your foes with your height advantage, she’d be impressed. Good for you.

Though at first, she does get out some harsh jabs about your height proving to be a disadvantage when stealthing. However, she’d slowly warm up to you and cease to make such comments.

Would probably punch you if you ever tried picking her up without warning her beforehand (0/10 do not recommend)

Like others mentioned before her, she hasn't been picked up before. She tenses the moment you lift her and it takes a while for her to relax.

She’d probably have to be softly talked out of her tension in order to properly relax in your grip and take a moment to look around.

The moment she does, she finally lets down her guard, taking a moment to look around now that she has a better view from above.

As soft as this little moment is, she now sees this as a way for to get a better advantage whenever she's using a bow. She can see her foes from afar from this height. Now you two can work even closer in combat!

: ̗̀➛HALSIN

“Hm. It has been quite some time since I've encountered someone as towering as you. Not that I mind. Simply one of nature’s many gifts. I find that it only adds to your charm.”

What?

I mean have you seen this man? He’s towered over everyone the majority of his life, he's only met a select few that were actually taller than him.

It was a pleasant surprise for him when you first met. He isn't quite used to having to crane his neck upwards. It aches the first few times but he eventually gets used to it.

Similar to Karlach, your height is something that constantly comes to his mind. It simply baffles him but he doesn't comment too much about it after the first time he brought it up.

He finds it kind of amusing if anything.

Watch this man’s life flash before his eyes the moment you manage to lift him up. Who has managed to lift him up before? Apparently you now.

He stays silent, shocked, and confused for about five or more seconds till he finally lets out a chuckle.

He can't believe it! He's being carried! He can’t stop himself from grinning from utter disbelief.

He’s even more enamored by you now, utterly delighted by this otherworldly experience.

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