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#but then i realize that the therapist would literally just be like '?? so like…not doing this thing makes you hate yourself on top of making
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Lies of Omission?
Now that we have a clip of a veeery interesting conversation between Adar and Galadriel, I have a need to discuss what it could mean for Haladriel. It could mean nothing or it could mean everything.
So, Adar realizes that Sauron "promised" something to Galadriel, and it's not a wonder as to why. The camera is slowing zooming in on her. The expression on her face is something else. It's very tight, and her breathing is kind of shallow. It is obvious Gal is trying to keep her emotions under control and not react. But, in the same way, she's giving a lot away, and I think Adar is very good at reading people.
Anyway, why did Galadriel tell him that Sauron would give her an army? Is she trying to keep some cards off the table in case Adar double crosses her? Perhaps. However, what if she's afraid for not just her own safety, but for Sauron's as well? Sure, sure, she turned him down, but there is likely still a sliver that cares for him. @rey-jake-therapist suggests that maybe Adar would use her as bait. Maybe not in the literal sense, but if he found out that Sauron intended for Galadriel to rule with him, Adar could use that against her; blackmail her into doing stuff for him. Or, he could hold Galadriel over Sauron's head for the same purpose. I'm sure that Adar would absolutely love to exploit the depth of Sauron's feelings for her. That leads me to....
I saw a new gif of Annatar turn his head and look straight on. He does not look happy. He appears a little angry, troubled, and maybe a tish shocked. Apparently, it's from the new episode from a source I haven't come across. What could he be seeing? With my deranged shipper mind, I'd like to think he's sensing Galadriel's presence, noticing she's close. But he realizes she's with Adar, maybe thinking she's in danger, but he can't do anything about it.
The most likely scenario is either confrontation by Celebrimbor and Eregion's finest, or the battle is starting. But, it's the direction he's looking in that makes me think he's peering past things out-of-realm.
At any rate, I just hope that Prime didn't release the only Haladriel crumb of the episode. If they did, that's disappointing.
Edit: also, I would like, just once, for Sauron to show actual worry over the well-being of the woman he loves. That's not toouch to ask for, right?
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elytrafemme · 2 months
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today's therapy session was really enlightening which is obviously good but it was enlightening in kind of a freaky degree because i just figured out that something i have been doing for like the entirety of my life isn't actually a common thing and is probably representative of something not working right in my unconscious? dude i thought i was on top of my psychological shit but then it turns out something i wrote off as being emotionally inconvenient but presumably regular actually might be worth its own series of sessions like. what the fuck man.
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pepprs · 1 year
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feeling despair i don’t know how to put into words. im trying to figure out why im like this and how i got to be this way but i can’t even do it bc of the way i am and what im like. if that makes sense. like the problem prevents me from fixing the problem bc i can’t get to the root of it. despair despair despair
#purrs#delete later#basically i can’t internalize anything about myself. i can’t internalize that i am talented smart strong whatever and i can’t internalize#evidence that i matter and belong and am loved. i take in this evidence constsntly and it just evaporates. and then it’s like i have none of#it at all and im starving and shaking and dying and howling like a wretched little animal. and i live in this constant defaulstate of like..#feeling worthless and alone and utterly empty and like everything in my life is a dream or something. and in feeling that way and being#quite literally incapable of having emotional object permanence.. i actually make that situation real for myself. i make myself alone and#wretched. i isolate myself and shut down and don’t let myself take up the space i can. and it’s just awful. it’s unfixabke.#i just suck it all dry. i deny myself to myself and to everyone else. and idk what made me like this bc i don’t think i always used to be#this way w depression and depersonalization or whatever the fuck dsm 6 type shit i have going on. but i can’t internalize anything about#myself and my life and have no desire / willpower to look back beyond a certain point and really analyze and probe to figure out what#happened to me to make me like this so i can heal the core wound. soim just constantly in wretched tortured panicking creature mode. awesome#this cry for help brought to you by: my sister guilt tripping me into doing her laundry + my brother showing me his beautiful music +#realizing that unlike redacted i have not documented every part of my life and have no access to early childhood artifacts that would reveal#anything about me and that it does n’t even matter / isn’t special anyway. i love being normal 😎🫶🏻‼️#at least i haven’t been dissociating as badly about work stuff lately but. that’s definitely still a thing too so. what if my whole life is#just the wrong timeline i wasn’t supposed to be in and nothing is actually real. lawl 😳#this is a ​really awesome time for my therapist to be going on a monthlong honeymoon btw 😍 she deserves it so much but omg im dying already
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sillysootyboi · 4 months
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me putting together a venn diagram and elaborate red strings of all the artists I like and my favorite songs and ships and then my therapist telling me "labels can do more harm"
The red string reveals the spelling of BPD
I am immediately hit by a third truck
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5-htreuptakeinhibitor · 5 months
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i love art, im very grateful for adderall for gifting me with the executive function, ease of prioritization, and clearness of thought <3
#seriously a blessing in my burnout recovery#i think i had 2 burnouts really#1st when i was 12 i burnt out academically#and fell into other hyperfixations like homestuck and anime#n cartoons also socially burnt after my friends got annoyed w myhyperfixes but got close w my husband which helped/distracted from burnout#then i did again injjjjunior year i would say#i was burnt out creatively and socially and i hated band for the first time and i met my first AP class that i couldnt just coast through#because we had to do checked notes and DAMN im grateful for that teacher!!!!!!!!!!!#genuinely led to me learning how to take notes on text when i never had to before#but i literally cried. because spent HOURSSS the first few times trying to do my notes before a classmate told me theres a website that#summarized the book#which helped a lot#but it was the first time since suspecting i have Something other than depression/anxiety that i was SURE i had adhd#it kinda just clicked so i got on a nonstimulant that helped a bit but had shitty physical symptoms that got worse as i got older#i was on it forrrr like 2 or 3 years before i stopped taking it#but i also got on a 504 which gave me deadline flexibility which like#great yknow finishing out junior and senior year medicated woo#but senior year last semester i had terrible senioritis lol#which i now realize was that 2nd burnout#and literally from march 2020 to the end 2022 i barely talked to anyone or engaged on any level with most people other than smoking weed#and being a therapist#and my beautiful wonderful husband ofc but we kinda enabled each other lmao#but yknow that gap of time when my locale cared about covid and stuff was just not going on i really recovered#i didnt draw much or do much hobbywise#i did probably too much weed and not too much but Quite a Damn Lot of acid#(which.. idk who follows me now... but acid isnt a evil scary drug it is not physically harmful and wholly dependent on mindset)#and i worked a lot#but... i quit my job at the end of 2022. which kinda directly correlates with me reconnecting with my friend group#and reconnecting with them... i decided to go back to college#re realized the path for my passion for psychology lies in academia and i LIKE that
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opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months
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...
#well. today was a nice day of not doing anything but drawing really. theres an au where i went to art school and am a happier person lol#except not really bc im sure my head would ruin that too. anyway. its a shame i have to return to the pain tomorrow. i have so much to grade#plus a paper to write plus data to work with. a protocol to figure out. and an exam to study for and a final project thatll kill me#god. i also have to get ready for lab Monday. christ. and what shall i say to my therapist Tuesday? well we could try to tackle the deep set#looming issue that prevents me from getting better in our tiny 50min session or i could be like listen. just fucking listen. let me give u#the case 4 and against me having adhd so i can stop feeling fucking nuts. just like give me feedback. ya kno?#it would b inattentive bc im not hyper unless im losing my mind and bordering on hyp0mania. but my focus is something i cant control#executive functioning has always been a problem but now im so worn down im in danger of actual consequences. and its not just things i dont#wanna do. im not just anxiously avoiding. i cant start tasks and stick with them. i flip back and forth and get nothing done. i spiral#sometimes for hours. im not doing anything fun im just not doing anything. frozen in anguish. i dont even wanna think abt how much money ive#lost by not filling out reimbursement sheets which arent hard to do. theyre easy i just never do them. why??? i dont fucking kno. but im not#forgetful. im thinking constantly abt these things. i just cant make them happen. theyre stuck buffering. i do have memory issues tho#my short term working memory is like that of a literal child. so i cant follow complex instructions. i constantly need new info. constantly#need sound. spoken words plus music at the same time. but the main reason i need an answer to this is the reading issue. which is that im#dyslexic but also my thoughts r like an interfering frequency. without realizing ill b thinking and not reading. its a problem no matter#what im reading. its severely disruptive. i will physically read out loud to try to hold my attention in place and still get distracted by#my own head. do u kno how frustrating it is to read something aloud 3 times and not know wtf u just read bc u arent thinking abt anything#interesting u would rsther b reading but u can't fucking pay attention long enough. genuinely if its not adhd and i cant get medication to#fix my focus issues i dont kno wtf im gonna do. im so bad at reading and its extremely frustrating. but is it just dyslexia? idk what i#described doesn't fucking seem normal or like a reading problem. sounds like a focus issue. so riddle me that#idk ive got adhd on both sides of my family plus my focus fluctuates with ny hormones plus homones possibly induce hyp0mania. like i mean#ive got other issues which make a diagnosis difficult to parse but like i feel like that's decent evidence for possibly adhd? my friend said#she was always worried she had a brain tumor before she was diagnosed. to me ive always felt like my brain is full of holes. im missing the#parts that would let it operate correctly. the frontal lobe is just fucked. ugh. i wonder how much accommodation i could get from the#disability office if i actually went to them. i wont bc im fucked up and i dont think they could actually do anything for me at this stage#but alas im curious. ugh. y do i do this to myself? i kno y but not enough time for that in 50min. bad attitude mostly. half my brain#just craves death. the other half is just trying to tread water but its hard with someone trying to drown u. so its all fucked#unrelated
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bowofbalance · 1 year
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It's definitely a warning sign when you start to catch yourself repeating patterns of behavior that you only learned as a way to survive in a deeply deeply bad situation with people you definitely can't avoid
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insanechayne · 1 month
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~ ~ ~
#the anxiety and the nonsense are back in full swing tonight#I can literally feel myself being annoying and yet can’t seem to stop myself from it#I tried to do what my therapist would expect me to do and talk myself through everything and think logically#yet the chest tightness and headache and weird crawly feeling under my skin remains#maybe I’m just tired or maybe my period is coming or maybe it’s the grief or maybe a million other little things who knows#it’s like I just want someone to talk to/hang out with because I don’t feel right by myself right now#but bestie has a life and I know I’ve annoyed him early#and partner is asleep and I’m not about to wake them up because I feel lonely#tbh I don’t even want to come to bed until I get myself sorted simply so I won’t bother them by being awake/on my phone for half the night#just feel kinda fucked up right now and don’t know what to do to fix that exactly#don’t even want to bother trying to see if anyone round here wants to talk because I doubt I’d get any takers in the first place#is this what being an adult is? screaming into the void on your own because you’ve only got two people in your life?#I’ve never really had a group to call my own or a lot of people I could rely on anytime I needed despite being like that for everyone else#I realized that I love the way I was never loved but it still hurts feeling like I’ll never get that returned to me in any way#I’ve heard phrases like ‘I know love like mine exists because I exist’ but that just feels like a pathetic cover for the sorrow#of being alone#maybe that love only exists inside of me and what a tragedy that would be#but I’m rambling now because at least I can’t annoy myself#personal
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voulezloux · 4 months
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.
#proceed at your own risk i’m back again w/ more shit#had to text my therapist today bc i had like#come to the realization that i was craving the pain that i got when i used to sh#i’m not an active harm to myself i wouldn’t do it again and im not suicidal#but i just had this intense need to have the same pain i got when i sh’d#& scared my mom <3 & she told me to text my therapist <3#she told me to journal and idk how to fucking do that#so i have trauma workbooks coming in tomorrow as well as a copy of wreck this journal#i figured wrecking the journal would be the closest i can get to sh without actually doing it#idk my life fucking sucks rn and i want things to be fucking done i want to be future me not going through this#i feel like i’m being too dependent on bean for comfort and like that’s fucking dumb#i feel bad for just not being okay even tho i know it’s okay to not be okay especially rb#i also just knwo#that my dad is waiting for me to come back to him#hat in hand and tail between my legs to apologize for being mean to him :-(#bc obviously i’m the one who did everything wrong!#i hate being the 7 year old hiding in the pantry#i’ve been hiding in the pantry my whole life to make my dad comfortable#it also hurts to read back on the screenshots and see that my dad just doesn’t give a fuck about me#like i’m not purposely doing it but i have to remember detials when i talk about it to my mom#and it’s just a big ol reminder that my dad didn’t refute any part of my texts#that said i never felt like i was important to him or that i was an afterthought or i wasn’t a priority to him#like he cherry picked things he responded to#he focused on me calling my sister the favorite child and the park i chose instead of like#literally anything else#he apologized for making me feel like an afterthought but never told me that i wasn’t one to him which ig is nitpicky#but he never once in any of the messages tries to comfort me or reassure me that what i was saying wasn’t true#plus he threw in my face that HES been through trauma and he was just SHARING his childhood with his KIDS#like thanks dad! say it with your whole chest you don’t give a fuck about what you did to me! or the affect it’s had on me#he ‘didn’t want to trigger me’ but dude you fucking made things right with your EX WIFE and not your fucking SON
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sir-snow · 6 months
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I don't believe in therapy.
Let's just read Neitzsche and do kinky stuff together.
That'll be healthy, right?
#my thoughts on therapy are much more complex than that#I just know that 90% of people in every occupation just plain shouldn't be there#And I really don't feel like window shopping through a bunch of peusdo intellectuals#When all I'm trying to do is better comprehend my reality and my role in it#And the major-majority of therapists#That I've had personal or professional interactions with#Either just plain don't care#Are giving you that look like#“Oh god is this going to be the person that beats me to death with my own clip-board”#Or are just waiting for you to say something incriminating so they can involve the police#There was one older lady in particular I talked too#Not even realizing she was a therapist until she started asking me a bunch of personal questions#And the subject of careers got brought up#And this gal was genuinely shell-shocked when I gave minor details about one of my verbally abusive father figures#It was as if she'd only heard about cases like that in books or on TV#And my reaction to her newfound curiosity was sort of blasé#Like yeah#Have you literally never interacted with a lower to middle class drunk or any of their kids before?#Granted I only said 90% earlier#Because there's one dude in particular I wouldn't mind buying a beer for#Now that I think about it#There's also a nurse I wish I could apologize too#Even if she was being holier than thou with her Bible pushing#But some people don't seem to realise that bastards are naturally predispositioned to being atheists#I just can't seem to fathom why a boy who grew up without his biological father#Doesn't like to hear about a guy who's father created him just so he can die for the sins of others#And that it would make much more sense for her to put her efforts into preventing some other kid's life from being more fucked up#Than it already is#Rather than trying to unravel the issues of a young man whom they just met with a pre-printed out sheet of paper#Wow I really didn't intend to write this much
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mourningcttlfsh · 1 year
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uhh its in the tags but like vent tw?? kinda (especially the tags) sorry this is also like a bit long
does anybody else just like. not talk to people not because you don't enjoy talking to people in fact you love talking to people so much & wish you could do it more but because you feel like you have nothing interesting to say & the other person is probably going to think you're cringe & they won't want to be your friend anymore & also they don't care about a single word that comes out of your mouth even though said person has never done anything to show that they would react in this way or is it just me ahaha
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drchucktingle · 3 months
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On your blog you've talked about dealing with chronic as a result from the stress of masking your autism.
It's a bit of a different situation, but my little sister (who we've begun to suspect has adhd) has been experiencing chronic pain in her arms and legs. I may be totally off base, but I was wondering if a similar stess might potentially be a factor in her pain.
If you're willing, would you mind talking about how your pain affected before you found a way to manage it (I tried searching your tumblr, but not much came up, so sorry if I'm asking a question that's already been answered)?
Thanks either way, I love your books. Love is real!
sure buckaroo GOOD QUESTION. i have had chronic pain in some form or another for LONG TIME in a number of STRESS RELATED WAYS. in past it has been cracking teeth from clenching dang jaws while i sleep and things like that, but a few years ago it was FULL ON BODY PAIN AND TIGHTNESS like every muscle was clenching up. went to the doctor over and over all kinds of dang specialists and it was very difficult to figure out what was going on. eventually landed on a sort of nebulous trot of STRESS but i can get more specific.
there are several things about me that you would never know just from looking or even talking to me for long times. i am a bi buckaroo, i am a non-dysphoric trans buckaroo, i am an autistic buckaroo. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE THINGS IS EITHER HIDDEN AUTOMATICALLY OR I AM SUCH AN EXPERT AT HIDING THAT IT IS SECOND NATURE
autism presents its trot in many ways, so my words do not apply to all, but my version is EXTREME ORGANIZATION AND ENDLESS WORK ETHIC. in way of freud (which is a silly way but sometimes good for symbolism talk) i have what you would call an OVERDEVELOPED SUPER EGO which is a double edged sword. i can write 100s of books at an incredible pace, but also feel like my body is constantly collapsing in on itself
this is not really something i consciously think about much, but eventually these health problems started creeping up. it was all from carrying this mystery tension in my body, because while it feels EASY for me to mask i believe all that tension goes somewhere and it stores up and stores up and stores up.
so i think the HEALTHY way that i have found to deal with this (i think of it as releasing the steam valve a bit so the boiler does not break down) is ART. this space where i am allowed to be CHUCK TINGLE and write without obsessing over the spelling or punctuation, or to loudly express my queerness, or explore gender, and to let my neurotypical mask down DIRECTLY RELIEVES my chronic pain because it literally makes my muscles relax.
when i started out this ARTISTIC TROT as chuck i used a LOT of metaphor to keep my privacy, with different words or different versions of people for different things, and buckaroos found this very funny. as a way to express myself artistically i also liked this metaphor trot a lot, but i have also found that the LESS metaphor i paint over my life as chuck, the better it is for my health. if you have noticed, i talk less about some of the parts of my life that were metaphors, or maybe you have seen that my voice has relaxed a bit in interviews, or that i carry myself a little differently over time, this is partially why. (there is another artistic reason that was a planned trot from the beginning and it has to do with my feelings as a young autistic buckaroo of not fitting in on this timeline, but we can dive into that later).
anyway, as PRACTICAL ADVICE i would say that FINDING A SPACE TO EXPRESS YOURSELF WITHOUT FEAR OR MASKING has been the number one trot for me. that can be a pink bag over your head writing hundreds of erotic shorts, or that can be just laying on the ground howling your heart out, or doing whatever stim you need to do.
i will also say that ONCE I REALIZED IT WAS MUSCLE TENSION getting a physical therapist helped a lot. because there are two sides, you have to start releasing steam from the steam valve, but at the same time youve also gotta start HEALING THE DAMAGE. so i think stretching and techniques like that can be very helpful.
hope that helps buckaroo LOVE IS REAL
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DPXDC prompt. Dead on main. Someone who knows you better than you know yourself.
Perhaps Fentons are not able to recognize their child, despite the fact that they hunt him day after day. But for childhood friends, who saw each other in absolutely ridiculous situations that parents are never allowed to know about, just one sneeze and a bored sigh is enough to realize that this weirdo fighting next to him is the same guy with whom you tasted soap and then stood looking at each other from different corners and giggling.
And so, the dialogue after the battle with the creatures of Infinite Realms, to which Constantine had to invite a potential ally not yet approved by the League:
Phantom: Well, mom always said you were bad news...But a crime lord, seriously? What happened to your plans to become a literature teacher? Red Hood: Hey! For Gotham, this is a very high-paying in-demand job. And I don't want to hear anything from Casper. At least I have my own business. What kind of part-time job do you have? Are you selling sheets to your buddies from this green goo? Phantom: This is ectoplasm. And they're not my friends, and anyway… Constantine: King Phantom, do you know Red Hood? Phantom: Do I know him? Ha! This street rat was Splinter of my beginnings until my family moved out of Gotham.
Red Hood: Wait, wait a minute. Phah...Holy shit. I thought I was the best example of what it means to be a disappointment to a family, but you beat me here. Oh, man, only you...The ghost king who is the son of the ghost hunters? Seriously? Hahah! I thought your rebellious phase ended the moment you told your father that you wanted to be an astronaut and not inherit the family business.
Danny*groans and covers his face with his hands*: My life is over.
Red Hood: Literally~ No, of course I always knew that your parents' disregard for safety in the laboratory would someday kill someone, but I didn't really expect this? Like, wow… Phantom: What makes you think it was an incident in the lab? I mean, there are so many possibilities around. It's ridiculous and…hah Red Hood: Dude, look me straight in the face and tell me I'm wrong if you dare. Phantom:…Fuck you, stupid bookworm. Red Hood: Stubborn nerd. Phantom: Red bucket! Red Hood: Pale toadstool! Nightwing: Um, can you guys please stop fighting? Red Hood: What are you talking about? This is how we always communicate. Phantom: Yeah! Well, in our defense, my sister always thought we both could use a therapist. Oh, man, he made me lose my train of thought. Where were we, J? Red Hood: Since when are you able to think? And I complimented your new hair and skin color. Phantom: Right, right… But, hey, not all of my parents' hypotheses really have a right to exist, and you know it! Hm, did I mention that you're built like a fridge and how does this leather jacket suit you? Red Hood: I believe not. And who's talking about your parents' work? You were an airhead when you were alive too to be honest. And as I see it, not much has changed. Why the hell are you still starting a fight with puns? Stop telling your opponent your position. This is terribly stupid! Phantom: Oh, please, these ghosts are definitely not a threat to me. What's wrong with having a little fun? The fact that you don't have weapons to handle something stronger than a blob ghost is your problem not mine, loser. But let's get back to our greetings. Red Hood: Sure. Then listen here…
~~~~~
Nightwing: Jay, why didn't you say right away that you knew Phantom? We've wasted so much time wondering if it's worth summoning him, and you just stood there and said nothing. Red Hood: Pfff…Because I didn't know that until today. He used to be human. And we haven't seen each other for a long time. So how was I to know that he would take such a ridiculous pseudonym? Nightwing: Then why the hell didn't you feel worried about teasing this creature? Red Hood: Why should I? It's just Danny.
~~~~
Tucker: Oh man, 84 murders, attempts to kill Joker and to much fights with Batman and Black Mask and… Danny: Yeah, yeah. It's all very interesting, but it's not what I asked you to find. Get to the point, Tucker. What I will wear to our dinner tonight depends on this. Tucker: Seriously? As far as I'm concerned, whether he's single or not is less important than all this shit. Aren't you afraid to show up at his house? Danny: I'm invited. And for that matter, I'm Amity Park's former public enemy number one. Which one of us should be worried, hah? So he's not dating anyone, right? Don't try to distract me. Tucker: Dude! Danny: Ugh, in my experience, when he acts like he's lost his mind, he usually has good reasons for it. And if not, given some of the events of my alternative future, I have no right to judge him, so…
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beemovieerotica · 4 months
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i dont think the average therapist even understands OCD at this point. like you actually have to find a specialist to speak to someone who wont suggest things that are just horrible fucking ideas. like i've had 2 non-OCD therapists who went "okay, when you have intrusive thoughts, write them down so you can look at them later and realize how ridiculous they are!"
and i know theyre just. anticipating the average "intrusive thought" to be "i'm not good enough :(" or "i'm so ugly :(" and not shit that, if written down on paper, would 100% provoke even worse self-hate and disgust in their patients to actually see it written out in front of their eyes (and kept on hand??? accessible???)-- and hey god forbid someone else reads what's on that paper and calls the fuckin cops
versus the OCD specialist i saw who just asked me to answer yes or no to "do you have this category of thought." and literally just being able to say "yes, i experience that" in front of a completely non-judgmental person who assured me that i would not act on these things was 5000x more helpful than an extremely nosy non-OCD counselor who's continually tried to get me to verbalize and record my intrusive thoughts
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bbystark · 17 days
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♡ simon is a bad stalker part 1 ♡
bad!stalker!simon x reader
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♡ masterlist ♡ request more! ♡
summary: simon being a stalker but really it's just him being sweet. price makes an appearance. mdni
a/n: as per usual this is way longer than it needs to be, enjoy
simon kind of sucks at being a stalker but it's because he doesn't really want to scare you, he just wants to be around you
he doesn't even really realize what he's doing at first, tells himself that he's only trailing you in his car as a random act of kindness, who knows what could happen to you in broad daylight walking 2 streets over to grab a coffee
he finds your number too easily, and even pays some sketchy site $20 after a pop-up promises to scrub your information from sites like the one he's on now. wouldn't want someone finding out all the information he did
you suddenly are getting way less spam calls/emails, and chalk it up to being lucky
it goes on for months, you have no idea who he is and that you're being stalked. the only inkling you have of anything weird going on is you're having terrific luck lately.
obviously, the luck is a huge war-torn man that can't seem to stop making your life easier
like one day it's raining hard after work, and you have prepared yourself to get soaked on your way to your car.
that is until you see an umbrella leaning against the building, a note with running ink that says "free" on it. talk about right place right time!
or the time your cat gets sick from eating a hair tie and you spend almost all your money on surgeries and medicine. you're starting to worry that you'll be short on rent when a literal child knocks on your door with an envelope full of money saying that he has a youtube channel and chose you randomly to give $5,000 to. what the fuck?
you're still standing motionless in your doorway with a stack of money in your hands when the kid rounds the corner, looking up at simon expectantly. "the lady took the money dude. where's my xbox?"
simon chuckles a little, handing the kid a bag from gamestop with the newest xbox in it. the little kid runs off, yelling thank you as he leaves.
then simon ramps it up a little, starts sneaking in at night to watch you sleep and go through your little trinkets. homeboy just wants to know every little thing there is to know about you
he starts showing up to the place you get coffee, where you grocery shop, etc
you start feeling like you're being watched, start hearing things at night that make you sleep a little lighter.
you figure out you're being stalked a few months later. you had started feeling so off that you began seeing a therapist, worried that some mystery mental illness is starting to creep in.
simon starts noticing that you're not sleeping as well, not smiling as much from the paranoia. so he does the next logical step of leaving you notes of reassurance
the first one is when he's watching you sleep one night, on his way out he trips over your cat who seemingly came out of nowhere. he catches himself on the wall, a dull thud echoing throughout your home.
the next morning you find a note, that simply states "sorry about the noise last night, i tripped on your cat. i'll try to be more quiet next time. yours, s."
you immediately start tweaking out. someone was in your house? and they left a fucking note? apologizing of all things?
then you realize that this has probably been going on for months
for some reason it calms you, you've been living in ignorance all this time and you always knew something was off, at least you knew what it was now
and as far as you knew your stalker hadn't done anything dangerous besides, you know, stalking you
so you stay quiet. mostly because you feel insane but a part of you also worries what would happen if you broke your stalker's routine. would he start becoming violent? would the police even have enough information to stop him?
simon takes that as acceptance and an invitation for more contact. so he starts calling you.
the first time is when you're about to leave for work. you answer with a bright "hello, this is y/n" and almost jump when a deep gravelly voice responds. "hi luv. take backroads to work today, there's an accident on the freeway, it'll probably make you late."
before you can respond you hear the "call ended" tone. you rapidly look around your street, seeing no one out of the ordinary. you say fuck it and take the freeway, not wanting to be lured into a trap or something. lo and behold, you're almost 20 minutes late to work.
the calls stop freaking you out when you realize one night, almost dazed, that whoever this man is actually helping you. like a lot.
just the other day after a girl's night out you had been struggling to find an uber around, cursing when the driver canceled on you after waiting for 15 minutes.
you're already about to cry when a black suv rolls up, a middle-aged man with impressive facial hair popping his head out of the window.
"y/n?" you hesitantly say "yes?" and take a step closer to the car.
"i'm your uber, stupid app canceled while i was on the way here. hop in." he opens his own door, tall frame making his way around to the door closest to you, opening it and waiting.
you're admittedly really drunk. and you realize that this might be a horrible idea, but for some reason the story makes sense, and you find yourself slipping into the back of the man's car.
"temp all right for you luv?" you freeze a little, the pet name feeling familiar somehow. you stay quiet, looking at him through the rearview mirror. he makes eye contact with you and suddenly you're blurting it out before you can stop yourself.
"you're not an uber driver, are you?"
he holds eye contact for a second, surprised when he doesn't see fear in your expression, just desperation for the truth. he sighs deeply and looks back at the road.
"nope" your heart leaps into your throat.
"are you..." you didn't even know what to say. "are you, him?"
price knows what you're asking. when ghost called and asked him to pick you up, he knew he shouldn't. the stupid fuck was stalking you for god's sake. but price has a soft spot for his broken LT.
"no. i'm not him."
"do you know him?"
price hesitates. "yeah. i know 'im."
you're quiet for a few minutes, briefly realizing that you're a few streets away from home. you didn't know what you expected, but actually being dropped off unharmed wasn't it.
price turns down your street and suddenly you have a million questions.
"does he hate me? does he want to hurt me? why me? what does he want?"
price puts the car and park, kind of irritated at ghost for putting him in this position and not being normal and just taking you out on a date.
"he's not gonna hurt you, y/n. he just wants to take care of you, make sure you're safe." you stare at him like he's an alien.
price decides that's all he's going to say and leans over the seat to unbuckle you. "time to get to bed youngin."
you slowly grab your purse, grabbing the car handle. you sit for a second, before turning back to the man. "thank you for the ride. and tell, him, thanks, i guess." you don't wait for a response, just get out of the car and walk up to your house.
you turn around and watch the man pull out of your driveway, speeding down your quiet street. you unlock your front door in a daze, still half expecting to be murdered at any second.
your phone rings and you answer without looking at the screen.
"y/n?" it's him. he had gotten a call from price, recapping his drive home with you and started panicking when price shared that you had clocked him not being an uber driver. he didn't know what else to do but call you and try to explain and not lose you.
"it's you."
"y/n, i-" you cut him off.
"i want to meet you."
simon realizes that he is so fucked.
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percyluvr · 7 months
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helloooooo!!!! can i request a percy jackson x daughter of hera!reader headcanons?? it would be pretty interesting to see hera having a child tbh
thank you if you do 💛
percy jackson x daughter of hera!reader summary: hcs for percy with a daughter of hera
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when he first met you he was kinda worried bc he has beef with hera
but he's also confused bc wasn't she not supposed to have kids??
he expected you to be just like your mom
and you lowkey were
but you were a bit less.. uptight
but at the same time, u cant really blame her, her husband literally cheats on her so much
BUT ANYWAYS
i think u'd be so caring to him and he would love it SO MUCH
since hera is the goddess of marriage and childbirth, u would lowk take care of him like hes ur son
but like not in a weird way
u just care ab him so much that u baby him all the time
since both of ur cabins are always empty except for each other, u have sleepovers all the time
u have a pretty close relationship w ur mom, esp because ur her only demigod kid
percy isnt really jealous per say, bc he's decently close w poseidon, but like
he wishes he was that close with him
hera visits u in ur dreams a LOT bc she just loves u a lot
zeus is mad but she dgaf cuz ur her only daughter
and only kid
so obviously she's protective
esp when u tell her that u and percy r dating
shes at camp the next day asking u to introduce her to him
which ur like "mom pls y'all have already met"
and shes like "yes, but never when he was ur bf"
so u just go along w it bc u love her
they're lowk beefing bc she doesnt want u to get hurt
but as time goes on she realizes how much percy loves u and cares abt u
and she thinks ur the cutest couple ever
she is ready for yall to get married bc shes gonna throw the most extravagant and perfect wedding
and shes so excited esp bc ur the only kid she's going to be able to do this for
have i mentioned that she loves u a lot?
ANYWAYS
yk how in like house of hades and i think chalice of the gods when percy looks at annabeth and is js like "i cant wait to marry her and have kids"
yeah, hes like that but 300000x
and he's so excited bc he knows that ur gonna be SUCH a good mom
people always think ur weak bc ur mom "lets herself get cheated on"
or whatever dumbass shit they be saying
but u prove them wrong
mothers r fr the most powerful people in the UNIVERSE
and ur basically a mother bc u take care of everyone at camp
ur always at the infirmary helping the apollo kids bc its just in ur nature to love taking care of people
and percy always comes in with even the smallest little injuries
and it just warms ur heart to know that he wants to come see u even when ur working
u take care of the little baby pegasi too omg
gn thats so cute
imagine if blackjack had a lil baby pegasi and u took care of it
and percy is just like
melting
ur so sweet to them even if theyre "just horses"
it makes him so excited to have kids w u
whenever u see a little kid
or like a younger camper
u always tell him that u cant wait to go to new rome uni and then get married and have kids w him
the two of u are just so excited for the future with each other fr
i just think the two of u would be taking care of the pegasi and u would fall asleep in the hay after staying up talking
big surprise for the kids that have riding lessons that morning...
yall werent embarrassed tho cuz u have no shame fr
well, u have shame
percy has none
not the point.
everyone at camp sorta sees u as a mother and they always come to u
lowk camp therapist
bc they NEED one real bad
but it doesnt bother u bc u love to help them
ur always trying to fix problems at camp
and its very upsetting for you when you cant, and percy is always there to comfort u
ur lowk a meddler like ur mom
but its okay bc ur just worried about ur friends
i think that u would maybe have some soothing powers kinda like a hypnos kid, where u can like calm people down or put them to sleep
i also think that percy would suffer from panic attacks after his nightmares
so after he has a nightmare, you're there and if you can't soothe him with your words you just use ur powers
u can't stand to see him like that
it just upsets you so much
percy is so grateful for ur powers, but hes even more grateful for you
i think ur a lot more relaxed than most people at camp
and u dont really see the point in doing dangerous things for fun
which is different for percy, but he really does like it
he likes that he can just go to you and ask to relax and ur always down for that
its a change of pace that is definitely welcome and necessary in his life
ur definitely more of a rational thinker than him, so u stop him from doing some pretty stupid things
but u would never stop him from having fun
or doing thing that are important to him
ur relationship is lowk the blue print
yall just take care of each other fr
and ur like an old married couple which u two get teased ab
but u dont care
cuz u cant wait to get married lol!
a/n: this was a vv interesting request to write and i honestly loved imagining what a child of hera would be like so thank u for the req!
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