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#but then more classes so might be a while again
pomefioredove · 2 days
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Just read the whole "Yuu gets sold off by Crowley" stories and OMLLL THEYRE SO GOOD XDDD Any chance you could do more on it like if Niege won or if the parents heard about it and also decided to adopt Yuu and Grim?? Maybe the other staff adopting her too or more on Crewel's adoption please???
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requests for the crewel ending are in high demand I see...
parts 1 | 2 | 3 | kalim | 'bad' ending | RSA ending
summary: a crewel ending type of post: short fic, mostly speculation characters: crewel ft. other staff additional info: platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, definitely pre-book seven, parents being cringe
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If Crewel were allowed to beat Crowley to death with one of his designer handbags, he would have.
...Unfortunately, with the adoption paperwork fees (...and a need for more designer handbags), he regrettably still needs this job.
And he'd like to keep an eye on you while you're still here, too.
The animosity between Crowley and the rest of the staff is unspoken, shared through passing glances and dry remarks at meetings, and though the matter is "settled", in Crowley's own words, no one seems keen on letting it go anytime soon.
The students who participated in the bidding war are subject to months worth of extra homework, harder exams, and worse studying hours from Crewel himself. To teach them a little responsibility, he says.
You, at least, are exempt from his radical new lesson plan. You have enough on your plate as it is.
After all, as soon as the legal proceedings are through and your identity as an autonomous human being in Twisted Wonderland is secured, the "fun" begins.
Your uniforms are tailored and rightly fit, you're given a proper meal plan, even Ramshackle is decorated with a few of Crewel's personal touches. A throw rug here and there, a fresh coat of paint, anything to cover up the rotting interior and turning it into something worthy of envy.
"...Given that Grim doesn't start shedding everywhere," Crewel had said. "Ugh, pets."
The rest of the staff are just as helpful, citing your recent experience with the bidding war as reason to take it easier on you for a while (or for the rest of the semester, really). Trein gives you less homework, Sam "accidentally" doesn't ring you up a few items...
It starts to feel more like the entirety of the staff has adopted you.
Not that you mind, of course. This is the closest thing you've had to family since... well, since coming here.
There's just the one thing, though.
"I don't know why you waste your time with those untrained pups. Honestly. The idea of their tacky shoes touching the rugs in here..." Crewel sighs. His eyes turn to you. "You know, I hear Vil Schoenheit has been looking for someone to take to his next shoot..."
Ashton chuffs. "Don't be ridiculous, they need someone who's strong enough to take care of them! Kingscholar is a real star once he gets motivated,"
"Please tell me I didn't just hear that," Crewel massages his temples. "And might I add, I'm their father, not you. I give the blessing. You're more like the unwelcome uncle crashing the family barbeque."
Grim nudges you with his elbow, muttering a quick yikes before darting out of the kitchen. You groan in embarrassment. "Guys..."
"I'm just thinking about what's best for them," Ashton says, puffing out his chest. "They're at an age where they're going to start thinking about dating, and we want them to make good choices."
"Guys,"
"Exactly. Schoenheit is a perfect gentleman, a master in my class, and has the style to back him up. Kingscholar can demonstrate occasional intelligence, but he's still another housecat," he shudders. "The shedding..."
A tired voice from the doorway interrupts their tense back-and-forth, much to your relief.
"Goodness, the two of you, at this again?" Trein scoffs, taking a seat at the table. "This conversation is highly inappropriate. You shouldn't be controlling the poor thing's romantic prospects, if they even have them. When the time comes, the choice will be theirs to make."
Crewel huffs, rolling his eyes and leaning against the table. Ashton kicks his feet. And neither utter another word.
"Good," Trein says, then clears his throat. "Ahem. But that's not to say that we can't offer our guidance. That Vanrouge did quite well on the last History of Magic exam..."
You groan.
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yuurei20 · 2 days
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Short Translation from Twisted Wonderland the second novel: Yuuya in Class
"‘We’ve got that strategy meeting at lunch today—Yuu, Grim, you two gotta come, all right? No running off. The Housewarden isn’t mad anymore, so don’t be so freaked out.’
‘I’m not freaked out!’ Grim declares.
Yuuya opens his mouth to explain all that happened yesterday, but then stops himself. No matter how he phrases it, it would damage Riddle’s pride.
‘Yeah, I know,’ Yuuya replies.
Deuce smiles as well, nodding in response. 'All right. So meet up in the cafeteria at lunch,’ he says, facing forward in his seat to prepare for their first period class.
After homeroom is Magical History. Trein’s classes are both difficult and strict, requiring thorough preparation.
Ace snickers at the serious-looking Deuce. ‘Turning on us just like that. Not that it’s doin’ ya any good.’
‘Shut up. Maybe you should try it, too.’
‘Nah. I don’t like stuff that needs a bunch of memorizing.’
‘Me neither,’ agrees Grim.
As Grim messes around with Ace without so much as taking out his textbook, a nearby Heartslabyul student says, ‘Grim—isn’t Trein going to be calling on you today?’
In an instant, Grim’s expression becomes serious.
‘You make Trein mad again and you’re really in for it.’
Grim nods repeatedly in response to this stern advice.
When Yuuya thanks him, the student responds with an awkward chuckle. ‘You’ve sure got a rough time of it, Yuu.’
‘Come on Grim, we need to study properly. You might even get assigned extra lessons again.’
‘Ugh…what a hassle.’
Grim reluctantly allows himself to be coerced into facing forward, and Yuuya opens his reference book. 'Coming to Know Twisted Wonderland.’
It is a thick book, but at long last he is more than halfway through. Still on his first read-through he cannot remember much, but the shock of seeing a world map entirely different from that of earth has stuck with him.
He now recognizes the names of the larger countries, and even the hometowns of the people he is closest to.
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Night Raven College is on Sage’s Island, of the Land of Dawning. Despite the island’s diminutive size it is home to two prestigious schools: Night Raven College and their rival, Royal Sword Academy. Ace, Deuce, Trey and Riddle are from the Queendom of Roses, which seems to be a group of islands to the east of Sage’s Island.
Cater is from the largest country, the ‘Land of Pyroxene.'
Due to what his family does for work he has moved frequently, and he taught Yuuya the names of various cities.
Leona, from yesterday, is a member of Sunset Savanna’s royal family according to what Deuce has said. Yuuya confirms in the book before him that Sunset Savanna extends into the south from Sage’s Island. It is described as ‘a vast country with abundant nature,’ with a photo of grasslands and a blue sky as an example of the climate.
The book also contains details about the country: in the past, there were lawless territories where the rule of its own kings did not reach. While, now, there are beautifully developed urban areas, there are also large slum towns, and significant economic disparity.
Over half the population consists of beast-people. The region is inhabited by many rare, wild animals. Out of respect for nature and to avoid reckless overdevelopment, there are limits on urbanization.
While Yuuya looks over the map Grim, at his side, stares at his lesson materials for the day with a groan. ‘I don’t get none of this.’"
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missuswalker · 1 day
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𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 || 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐨 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
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𐙚 summary: donnie asks you on a date, (to his room) and, of course, you can’t resist those eyes
𐙚 warnings: pointless fluff + brief smut because i love him, donnie being too cute, maybe too long + not proofread (aged up, obviously, let’s say seniors in hs) not proofread oops
𐙚 notes: i’m obsessed with him can somebody talk with me about this subject matter
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Donnie, while not shy, wasn’t the most courageous boy out there. At least, when it came to you. His brain stopped working when you were near and he’d overshare until there was nothing else to say. You stuck around, though. You liked his stories. You liked spending time with him. He liked spending time with you, too. He’d pass you a note in class, pretending to stretch so he could drop the folded paper on the desk behind him. He loved to hear the crinkle of the paper as you unfolded it, your quiet giggles following. Every time you would write back, he’d pocket the paper and take it home.
The teacher loved your little ‘budding relationship’ quite a bit less than the two of you did, though. In fact, Donnie had gotten detention twice now for his constant whispers and laughs he shared with you. He didn’t care. As long as he kept you hooked on him, he’d take any punishment. Besides, Ms. Dulwich was exactly what her name described her as. A dull witch. She was a miserable, lonely woman who had nothing better to do than move Donnie as far away from you as possible. He always managed to get a note back to your desk, despite the newfound circumstances of having a desk at the very front of the room.
It was today, though, that he decided he needed to finally step up to the plate. He couldn’t just wait around forever. You’d lose interest or someone else would get to you first. The thought plagued his mind more than Frank, it was a constant bother.
It was 11:05, his, and your, lunch period. After debating on whether or not he go through the lunch line, he ultimately decides he was too nervous to eat, so instead, he begins to search for you. He eventually spotted you at the end of a table full of girls, the lot of you laughing and gossiping, as one does. He rubs his sweaty palms on his pants, and begins his journey towards the crowded table. He didn’t believe you fit in with those girls. They were loud, obnoxious and so… plastic. You were real. They didn’t deserve you, but Donnie definitely did. At least that was what he believed.
“Y/n,” he interrupts, ignoring the girl who he’d just cut off, rubbing his hands on his pants once again. As soon as you look up at him with that smile, he thought he might as well just marry you. He just couldn’t seem to get his words out, his mouth falling open and closing, over and over. The girls around you began to quietly snickers, giving glances and eye rolls. “Do you wanna eat lunch with me?” He finally spit it out, finally asked. Now the hard part was over. The girls began to giggle, but you nodded, standing from your seat. “Okay,” you said, your voice so calm. Immediately your friend’s laughter stops, the snobby girls looking on in disbelief. There wasn’t anything inherently wrong with Donnie, the group just thought he was kind of a freak, to say the least.
You had never thought of Donnie as a freak. You saw him as the smart guy he was, which was a boost to his ego, considering he found you rather intelligent as well, though your smarts didn’t always show through a test. Maybe he just thought so highly of you because he liked you, but either way, he knew he enjoyed talking to you. “I hate them, I’m sorry. They’re just brats. They weren’t laughing at you, they were laughing at me,” you tell Donnie, sitting across from him at an empty table. Donnie furrows his brows, watching you pick at your lunch. “Why would they laugh at you,” he snorts, his eyes trailing back to the girls who were staring right back, poking each other and whispering. “I talk about you a lot,” you say vaguely.
Biting the inside of his cheek, Donnie decided he couldn’t take it anymore. If he didn’t ask what had been driving him crazy for so long, he’d never be able to sleep at night. “Do you wanna go with me? Like, do you wanna, like, I don’t know. Never mind, shut up. Not you, me,” he rambles, shaking his head and squeezing his eyes shut in disbelief. You stare at him, seeming so bewildered for a moment, before you simply begin to laugh. “Yeah, I wanna go with you.” Donnie nodded in response, biting his lip. “I like you,” he says, eyes flickering all over your face. “I know,” you snort.
“Will you come over after school? We can just hang out, or I can read you this book, it’s… I think you’d like it,” he blurts, his heart pounding. He could hardly process everything happening right now, his mind going haywire. “Yeah, okay, that’d be cool,” you nod, leg bouncing under the table. “Okay. Cool,” Donnie sighs. The rest of lunch wasn’t so bad. The two of you just talked like you normally did and the awkward tension went away completely. It was like nothing changed, though both of you knew something did, indeed, change.
𐙚
As the two of you stepped into his bedroom, successfully having gotten passed his mother’s questions and his fathers jokes, you dropped your book bag on the floor. “You can sit on the bed, I’m gonna grab that book,” Donnie tells you, kicking off his shoes. When he joins you on the bed, he hesitantly wraps his arm around your shoulder, opening the book. You look up at him, giving a grin. “What are you doing,” you ask, putting your hand on his elbow. “I’m not doing anything,” he says, looking down at you as he bites back his smile. After a moment of silence, he looks down at your lips. “You know, you’re my first girl,” he says, his voice quiet. “Oh, so I’m your girl?” You rest your head on his shoulder, Donnie giggling. You loved his laugh. It was so airy and silly. “I meannn,” he trails off, looking away for a moment.
“I think I like being your girl,” you hum, raising a brow. “That makes one of us,” he jokes, causing the both of you to laugh. Then, again, there was silence. He slowly moved down, his lips dangerously close to yours. “Donnie,” you snort, grabbing his face and pushing him away. He gently pulls your hand away, sticking out his bottom lip in a dramatic pout. “What?” You think for a moment, giving a shrug. “I dunno.” He scans your face for a moment, brows furrowing. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have tried anything. I’m not expecting anything from you, I just, I was thinking… I don’t know, I thought maybe you wanted to kiss me, so,” she begins, only to be cut off by your lips on his.
It didn’t take long for the kiss to get a little too passionate, your shirt on his floor and his hand hovering over your bra. You move his hand onto your tit to give him the extra push, and then he’s all over you. “I really didn’t plan this or anything, I swear. I really like you,” he rambles on, sliding his fingers under the white fabric of your bra, his inexperienced fingers playing with your nipple. “Stop talking,” you say softly, hand fiddling with the button on his pants. “Gotcha,” he mumbles, reconnecting your lips until your hand meets his hard cock, covered by his boxers. “I’ve imagined this before, actually not to long ago, but this is better,” he tells, not able to stay quiet because he just always had to say whatever was on his mind. You almost laugh against his lips. “Donnie, you’re really cute, but shut up.”
He nods, grunting at the feeling of your fingers grazing the skin of his stomach. “Sorry. You’re so pretty, can’t help it,” he huffs, pushing his nose into your hair. He pushes your hand away, pulling his dick out of his boxers, because he just couldn’t wait any longer. “You don’t have to do anything, I-” He’s cut off with a moan as your head ducks down to take him into your mouth, tongue flat against the head of his cock. “Oh, shit, you’re gonna make me cum,” he tells you. You look up at him, one hand moving to make a ring around the base of his dick, slowing moving it up and down, the other finding his balls, squeezing gently. His fingers fly to your hair, gripping at the roots. He rewards you with heavenly moans, twitching in your mouth. You slowly drag your tongue around his tip before moving down. As soon he dick his the back of your throat and you hollowed your cheeks, he cums down your throat, tossing his head back as if his soul left his body.
You make sure he’s looking at you as you swallow, pulling away to let him take a moment. “You never had your dick sucked?” You question, running your fingers through his hair. She shakes his head, putting his thumb in between your teeth, pulling your mouth open. Letting his finger trail back down to your lip, letting it bounce back, he places a sweeter kiss to your lips. “I think I just came into next year,” he breathes, hands finding your tits again. “You’re so romantic,” you say sarcastically, Donnie giving you a dopey smile. “What, you didn’t like it?” He moves his lips to your neck, testing the waters. “No, I liked it.”
“You wanna do it again?”
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𐙚 he’s such a virgin, idc, he’d be so awkward and chatty the very first time he did something slightly sexual and it would be so cute and annoying at the same time i want to kiss him
im so tired why’d i stay up so late writing smut about this man
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fulgurbugs · 2 days
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Oh hey I hope you don’t mind me asking, this is purely out of curiosity but if you had to picture other duopath runs which characters would you pick and why? :)
Therion & Tressa are such a good combo I’m curious about which other traveler combinations would work well
hm thinking about which ones would be fun…. i think i can think of some that’d be fun
ship ones obvi would be funny, so alfyn/therion Primrose/Haanit, Olberic/Cyrus etc, also i think all of those combos are pretty good and can cover each other, i think Alfyn/Therion probably has the easiest time of it (due to access to steal for equipment and then concoct is just really good) and olberic/cyrus probably has the hardest time of it? i think thats purely because cyrus is frail and might take some investment to make sure he’s not dying every 2 seconds. then again, olberic as a duo is pretty good since he always has incite access. basically cyrus needs saving grace asap i think
Prim/haanit i think mayyybe more middle of the road? you do always get sealticge but its more of a whole thing with just two party members instead of 4, but haanit can hit the big damage and having dancer prim she’s probably easier to minmax damage potential on since you can lion dance her etc… if you run one of them as thief you can probably do some kind of armor corrosive lion dance setup and let haanit just hit the double digit thousands
i think one of the things that would be difficult about both haanit/prim and olberic/cyrus is definitely the lack of path action to acquire npc items, you get literally soooooo much shit out of it it’s super helpful lol.
other ones i think would be fun
Alfyn/Ophilia: healerpath run. while you won’t have to rely on item healing (like i did for the majority of duopath), i think this one would be a fun like, find your damage method one. plus, these two are the ones who usually sit back as supports (at least in their base class roles), but push when push comes to shove- sorry you guys gotta do all the hard work of killing these guys on top of the healing. also the stretch between their ch3s and ch4s would be miserable for them sorry you two
Therion/Primrose: the two traumatized ones with loner streaks, that’s right we’re putting bff bracelets on you and forcing you to work together. i think these two have a kind of kinship friendship that they don’t quite share with any of the others, so they get along quite well, even though i think i’d find it hard to stick them together permanently without the glue of the rest of the party. but as a duopath, i think they could still be pretty fun, and i want primrose to have some help stabbing those guys. gameplay wise, having therion would be a huge benefit for path action reasons, plus thief is like. imo one of the best subclasses paired with anything so i think any duopath he’s in gets some added benefit.
Olberic/Tressa: i always liked their dynamic, as the oldest member and the youngest member they might have an almost parental kind of relationship, and something abt tressa’s plucky enthusiasm and Olberics more stoic, seasoned nature is always fun to me. Tressa is another items-getter path action (though slightly less good than steal, you’ll likely rack up enough money grinding that prices are trivial) which is a help, and merchant is extremely good in duopath due to hired help being one of the best damage options for any character who might not be able to set up huge numbers. olberic however, can set up huge numbers, which means that i think this duo would be super duper set in the damage department.
ophilia/cyrus: i think this is the one i’d do if i really wanted pain, because these two have no hp and will die. this is like, the challenge mode option, because one of the things about duopath is you’re going to be taking a lot of damage on your two characters where you would have that spread across your party. so this duo would require some interesting strategizing to raise those hp stats, figure out how to tank, and then, on top of that, how to dish out the big numbers. while magic is *good* ive always found that when you��re trying to hit big on breaks, you’re better off going for brand or aeber big hits. as well, you get no items path action to work with for them. as for the dynamic, they’re both friendly and agreeable so i think there’d be not much conflict between them, but i think you could have some fun especially by the end if they start to draw the galdera connections between them…
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bubblespalace · 2 days
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Angst
Can you do the diaboys react to their s/o who was killed by one of the others(Diaboys) because they drank to much of her blood
Love your posts btw 🫶🏼
If their S/O was killed by another diaboy taking too much blood
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Bubble: OOH! I like this idea! If ya'll didn't know, I'm great at angst. ;) Thanks for the request anon! <33 And thank you for your support!!
I only did the Sakaboys for this post, if you want a Mukami version, feel free to request again!! <3
TW: Death, Suicide, Blood, Gore, Language.
Under the cut:
Shu:
It seemed to be a normal day for Shu. He woke up, to his dismay, and went to school as usual. As he was laying with his back to the wall in one of the school hallways with less light, he listened to his music, eyes closed in his exhaustion. However, he couldn't remember the last time he saw you. Were you even in the car with him when the rest of his brothers and him were on their way? It was strange, since you normally sought him out during this time of the night, when you had some extra time between classes. It made Shu wonder what it was you were doing.
He quicked up the faintest sound of footsteps on his left side, immediately knowing it was his younger brother by the way they sounded. "Here to scold me again for how I'm not in class?" He asked with a sigh. "Bothersome..." Reiji's movements came to a halt and Shu opened his eyes and stared up at him. There was something different about how his brother looked down at his face. "Why are you here?" He questioned, raising a golden eyebrow.
"It has come to my attention... that I must inform you of something..." Reiji muttered, holding his hands behind his back. His eyes darted to the floor, unable to make full eye contact. "This morning, Miss Y/N came into my laboratory." He took a breath that seemed unstable. "I may have bit into her with the mere intention of drinking some of her blood but..."
As he trailed off, Shu's half-lidded eyes widened, looking up at his younger brother in shock. "D-did you...?" Reiji shut his eyes and looked at the blank wall. "You bastard. I know that you despise me, but there was no reason to ki-" He voice broke, the hall was so silent you could hear his labored breathing. With his supernatural speed, he got up and pushed Reiji against the wall, squeezing his neck in his fist. The dark-haired man's eyes widened and his glasses slid down his nose, looking at his older sibling in terror as he tried to breathe. "I should fucking snap your neck. But no, that would be too good for you, wouldn't it?" Warm tears rolled down his face as he blinked them out of his vision and glared at the vampire between him and the wall. "I'll get you back for this, I swear to God." Shu quickly teleported back home and stormed into the empty lab, there you were, your crimson blood all over the table and floor, some of it already dried. The normally wonderful smell made the blonde feel disgusted as he stepped closer, you beautiful face was covered in red and your eyes were wide open. Blood dripped from your slashed neck like a waterfall while Shu held back more tears and brushed your soaked hair out of your face. "I'm so sorry." He mumbled down to you as he held you, your blood staining his uniform. "I really am..."
Reiji:
School was giving Reiji a headache today, his focus wasn't as good as it was regularly. He could barely pay attention to the equations being written on the board, variables started to jumble with other numbers in his head, causing a pressure to form on both his temples. When the bell finally rang, it came to his tired mind that he should have you in his next class. You were always a wonderful study partner, and what is even better is that having you around might boost his mood.
However, that class had come and gone without you seated next to him. So during his free period, he searched for you. But when he couldn't find you, worry hit him like a bus. Thoughts of you escaping and leaving him empty attacked him. He became slightly more frantic until he came across a closet. The scent of your blood filled his senses, alerting him. He opened the door, missing the elegance and grace he normally held himself with.
You were laying on the concrete floor in a pool of your own blood, Reiji could tell you were just hanging on so when he slammed the door shut, he quickly got down on his knees. "Y/N... Whatever in the world happened? Who...?" He trailed off, his eyes zeroing in on the bite mark on your neck. "Shu" He spat with venom, tears forming in the corner of his eyes.
You met his eyes and forced your hand up with all your strength so you could touch his face. "Reiji, there's nothing you can do. You're not going to be able to save me, he hit an artery..."
"Don't tell me there's nothing I can do. I'll say when I can't save you." He retorted, his magenta eyes misty. "I'll save you. If not then-"
"Rei." You muttered, brushing his hair out of his face as he looked down at you. "You really have to learn to let things be... I love you."
The light faded from your eyes immediately and Reiji held back a sound of despair. "I'll bring you back... I don't care about that woman anymore, I'll bring you back to me..."
Ayato:
"Chichinashi! Time for my takoyak-" Ayato cut himself off when the scent of blood filled his nostrils, your blood. It filled the air like a sweet aroma, but Ayato knew them and there was something wrong.
That's when his emerald eyes fell on a hand peeking out from behind the island in the home economics room, he hurried to teleport behind it. You were sprawled out, bleeding from a large bite in your collarbone. It seemed you were even fading in and out of consciousness. "Chichi- Y/N! What? Who...?" Ayato's voice cracked and he slid down on his knees, pushing his arms underneath you and bringing your head up on his lap.
"Ruki tried to bite me, and I tried to fight him off... Didn't really work so well." You coughed, wincing at the pain. Ayato's expression was twisted into worry, and as your vision blurred, you thought you saw tears forming. "I'm sorry, I really tried, Ayato." You whispered, closing your eyes.
Ayato held back a sound of despair, gripping onto your now cold body. "I should be sorry..."
Kanato:
As soon as Kanato noticed your absence in history class, he stood up and walked out the door, not caring what the teacher thought. He gripped Teddy against his chest, the thoughts for everything you could be doing flooding his brain. Was someone else touching you?? He would kill them, dispose of them and then show you why he claimed you. His senses immediately focused on the sweet smell of your blood, his irises swirled with rage as he storms into the otherwise empty women's locker room. You were leaning against a locker, a tired look on your face as red liquid dripped down your neck. Kanato flew into rage, screaming as loud as he could. "Who touched you?! Who?! Why did you let them hurt you?!"
You weakly looked at him and grabbed his hand gently, throwing him off. "Kana, trust me, I didn't want it. I wouldn't do that to you." You muttered, pulling him closer to you, which luckily, he allowed.
"But why!? Why would you let..." His eyes glanced at your neck, recognizing the bite mark. "Azusa of all people! Am I not enou-" Quickly, you pulled his lips to yours, letting him take his anger out through kisses one last time. It felt intense, like two waves crashing against each other one last time before the ocean stopped moving completely.
After a second, you pulled away, a tear falling down your cheek. "You've always been more than enough." You whispered, resting your forehead against his. "Don't yell, spend our last moments together holding me, please."
Kanato dropped Teddy to the floor carelessly and held you carefully until you became just like his other dolls, emotionless, soulless, and dead. "My poor dolly..." He sobbed, burying his face in your blood soaked hair. "I love you."
Laito:
"Bitch-chan~ Ooh! How fun to find you in the Biology classroom! You sure thought that out well~ Did you want to have some study time with your Laito-kun?" Laito chuckled as he peaked into the doorway, only to find you haphazardly spread out on a desk, your blood staining the light wood a dark shade of crimson. His face and stomach dropped and quickly rushed in, placing a finger to your wrist to check your pulse. "Bitc- Y/N, wake up please." He muttered, a rare terrified look on his face.
Your eyes fluttered open and met his green ones. "Lai?" You said, your voice strained. "I didn't want it... I swear, I'd never leave you-" You were cut off by Laito placing a finger to your lips, brushing his thumb against them softly. It was rare to see him like this, it was like he was acting like a normal teenager who was concerned, not your Laito.
"I know... I know, you would never try." He paused, his voice wavering. "You love me, you actually love me, right? You taught me the real meaning..."
You closed your eyes and parted your lips as he pressed a soft kiss to them, his nose grazing yours. "I love you, truly..." You muttered, just before you felt your own body go limp before you could do anything else.
Laito was left, a tear running through his eyelashes and down to your cold cheek. "I do too..."
Subaru:
Subaru laid, next to you, a knife in his hand. You looked at it sadly, before your eyes darted to his. "Subaru, no please. You will be okay without me." You muttered, too low on the energy and blood to raise your voice.
His expression was not something you could read at the moment. You had been unable to focus since Kou had drained you a little too much, your vision was slowly starting to go, and touches were getting fainter, like you were drifting away from reality, from the love you had only just found. "I can't... I can't stay on a plane without you."
"Then it's my last wish..." You pleaded, biting your lip as you touch his hand that was holding the dagger. "I'll be heartbroken if I see you up there the moment I leave."
Subaru exhaled, shutting his ruby eyes before hugging you to his chest, water pouring like waterfalls down his face. As your body untensed, you thought you would leave this world knowing your darling would fall in love again. But before you lost your hearing, you heard him mumble shakily. "I'm not going up there anyway..."
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Hello! (*^^*) I think you should post the deleted scenes. I think that It will be quite fun to read them, and I kinda think that it would be a bit of a waste not to post them since you put your time and effort into them even tho they aren't part of the story anymore. But of course, only post the ones that you're comfortable with since I like to think that every once in a while, writers write a story that might be too embarrassing for them to post (lmao)
Take care and have a good day/night!
(σ≧▽≦)σ
That's why I asked!
The thing with deleted scenes, is that some of them just straight don't happen in the actual storyline, they're like alternate version of what could've been. So I didn't want to confuse people on what actually happens in the main story.
Be that as it may, here's a deleted scene of the Wanderer ruminating over his own blessing. An alternate ending to Part 5, where he doesn't get dismissed by Nahida and gets grilled a lil bit.
~~~~~
Deleted Scene from Part 5, not canon to main storyline
The two watch the Traveler and Paimon leave, the Wanderer suppresses the urge to tap his feet in impatience. The Dendro Archon has made a point to ask him to stick around after their departures and whilst he had a sneaking suspicion why, he knew he probably wouldn’t like it.
Lesser Lord Kusanali turns to him with a sly smile on her face.
He already could already tell this was going to be bad.
“Just another tool you say,” she smiled innocently, parroting his stance from earlier.
The puppet looks away, unwilling to meet her eyes.
“You already know how I feel about divine favor,” he mocks, “The gods aren't guided by any kind of rationality or moral compass, it was probably done out of curiosity or on a whim,”
“Maybe so,” the Dendro Archon acknowledged, “But just because it’s out of curiosity or on a whim doesn’t mean it can’t be meaningful.”
He had no response to that.
“-and besides, don’t think I didn’t notice how smug you were when you discovered how much stronger your blessing was compared to Tighnari.” She added teasingly.
He didn’t know she noticed. Not that he cared, it was only natural he’d have more favor, frankly he’d be insulted if a mere forest watcher managed to succeed him. Besides it's not like he was comparing them or anything.
Lesser Lord Kusanali smiled at his silence. 
“Can I go back to my essay now,” he grumbled, wanting to leave this conversation.
“Ah, but you didn’t answer my question,” she interjected.
“I already told- ”
“I didn’t ask what you think of your blessing,” she shook her head, “I asked how it felt receiving it,”
Deep down he knew the answer, he just didn’t want to acknowledge it, didn’t want to get his hopes up only for it to be crushed by the merciless hand of fate. 
But he knew that she wouldn’t let him go until he answered, he also knew that if he submitted his essay late, he’d risk falling behind on the class rankings.
“I felt like I had the gnosis again,” he snapped, “Happy?”
She blinked at him, face unreadable.
“What!” he bristled,
“Is that something you still want?” She asked gently,
His mouth opened and closed, he wanted to say ‘Of course’, but well.
He wasn’t really sure anymore, it seemed that she realized it too since she dismissed him from her office soon after.
His mind was in turmoil as he stomped his way back to The House of Daena. 
If he concentrated, he could feel the flickering spark of divine energy cradled in his hollow chest.
Why are you here, he wanted to ask.
Why me?
Why now?
~~~
Hope you enjoy!
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madebythe0cean · 2 days
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Hi! I love your account! I was wondering if maybe you could write something about how Professor Sharp would interact and maybe comfort a reader who was injured or cursed while fighting dark wizards and now deals with chronic pain
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A/n:of course! I’m so happy you like my blog🥺 glad to have ya around!
+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+*━━━*+:★:+
Professor Sharp with a Mc who experiences chronic pain after attack:
✭ He was well aware he was one of the less approachable teachers at hogwarts but you had wiggled yourself into his better graces during your short time at hogwarts
✭ you had excelled at your assignments and taken to potions to a mermaid to water,colour him silently impressed
✭ But after the attack of Hogwarts
You had been left with scars and lasting pain from Ranrok and his cursed magic
✭ honestly? He feels partly to blame,you were a student of Hogwarts and he was responsible at least somewhat for not noticing all the plights you were facing
✭ now he’s forced to watch a young student who once ran through the highlands and collected ingredients with mirth now clench their teeth and eyes while praying for their newly acquired bouts of pain to pass
✭ he felt like he was looking at a younger mirror of himself.he got his scar after years of work and overall life lived,he felt more at peace with his injures because he had to years to chase dreams and dark wizards before it was cut short
✭ to see someone so young who sacrificed so much and be left with difficulties that will last a lifetime….it stung honestly
✭ it felt like a cycle was repeated somehow
✭ since your injuries he subtly keeps an eye out for you (he’s not as subtle as he think,it very obvious that he cares)
✭ he offers to teach you advanced potions for pain relief that are higher than your year but he believes this to be an exception (he had a very stern ‘talk’ with the headmaster since the pompous twit thought you should make do with the lesser effective potions)
✭ he has spells,charms,potions and all manner of pain relief paraphernalia he’s gathered over time and shares it with you wherever he thinks you might be more prone to a pain spike
✭ he always allowed you to sit during lessons and actually gets a new chair that’s more comfortable on your back legs
✭ he’s….painfully acquainted with the bouts of leg pain that leave you tumbling to the ground at random moments (those damn shifting stairs are no help either)
✭ he goes out of his way to make sure a student who also in your next class gets you there without any tumbles.he knows it hard to ask for help when you used to be able to something so he takes away the self assigned shame of having to ask
✭ Merlin forbid anyone and I mean ANYONE even so much as whispers a negative word.he’d have them expelled if he could but if that isn’t an option….well let’s just say they get well aquatinted with the muggle way of cleaning stained cauldrons and rather potent smelling ingredients that coincidentally need a restock
✭ again he hates that this is something you share common ground in but he’ll be damned if he let you process this on your own when he can lend personal experienced advice
✭ it took him years to adjust even now he still has moments where he pushes his s body to far thinking he’ll be fine but sorely reminded of his firm limits
✭ he feels melancholic that from such a young age you must now live with constant unpredictable pain and scars.he only hopes that magic will advance enough in your lifetime so you may be rid of your ailments
✭ if you ever need help,comfort,protection or even just company his class is always open alongside his arms.just because he seems icy on first pass doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a soft side
✭ you two develop a sort of ritual where you both have tea and a small lunch after both your rather unpleasant medicines and just have idle chat.
✭ he will actually talk a bit further into his time as an Auror and his injury.he actually smiles quite fondly when recounting his time as a overconfident aspiring Auror
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wrenhavenriver · 4 days
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i ruined the Same Microbio Exam Score Every Time Somehow? bit i had going on by one point 😭 but on the bright side my professor left a nice note saying "it's always a fun time when a student earning a 96% is their *low* exam grade. I'd say good luck in your future classes, but I doubt you'll need it" so i'm going to be riding that high for the rest of my life basically
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eorzeashan · 6 months
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thinking again about Eight who falls in love with Nine from afar, but never once knows them up close.
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Because most of the birthdays in Saiki K correspond with a character’s debut, Teruhashi’s first interaction with Kusuo was on her birthday. The date was August 6th both in the real world and in the SK universe.
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However, despite it being her birthday, Teruhashi isn’t sought out by her followers any more than usual. Even a guy who saw her that day didn’t remember anything about it, except that he saw her with Nendou.
This implies that Teruhashi’s followers don’t know when her birthday is. After all, if they knew they would probably flood her with gifts, or perhaps form a national holiday in her honor. But the only reference to her birthday is much, much later, when Makoto tries to find her a present. Perhaps Teruhashi keeps it a secret to maintain her privacy?
It might also be because of the Kokomins, who work to prevent non-members from talking to Teruhashi, and only permit members to talk to her about the weather.
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The result is that Teruhashi isn’t cornered by politeness or social convention to share her birthday with anyone. I think it makes a nice symbol of friendship if Teruhashi chooses to share that information with people she’s close to! Maybe with Chiyo, or Rifuta, or perhaps Aiura since she’s into astrology and would probs want to look up her natal chart. It’s a nice way of communicating trust~
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ailette's preoccupation with feeding tesilid food is really cute and funny and wholesome, especially given how tesilid doesn't really seem to place as much importance on food even if he does appreciate it.
neither ailette nor the narrative ever acknowledges this, but i think it probably has its roots in her first life. when she grew up always hungry and never really had consistent and reliable access to food that was either delicious or nutritious. i think it just becomes really important to her that someone who means the world to her always gets to eat well. even if she lives well now in this life, her traumas from her past life maybe still subconsciously impacts how she navigates life.
#a transmigrator's privilege#the perks of being an s class heroine#ailette rodeline#i think it's really sad how we never really get callbacks or references to ailette's previous life after the elthea arc#what an arc it was. grandpa acquired. mom acquired. royal heritage acquired. weapon acquired. sad backstory (x2) unlocked and#resolution (x2) acquired#truly a masterpiece and an excellent way to end season 1#anw i do understand why her prev life is never brought up again bc. her hangups alr got resolved#and esp during the timeskip period probably when she got to grow up#but :(#the only references we get is her being sad abt being too old for the childcare genre ig#but its mostly played off for jokes#and anw its implied that she kind of alr stopped aiming for that genre long ago#sniffs. wouldve loved more exploration of that theme on family but its ok#better it be done well while it was relevant than it be botchered#anw suddenly getting sad about how even tho ailette might know so much abt tesilid's lives 1-100#he can never really know her past life apart from her maybe sharing about it#but why would she ever talk about it?#theres nothing in that life she ever seems to miss#right at the start she acknowledges that she doesnt actually miss her old life#only that she didnt want her relatives to inherit her money lol#is there anything positive and personally meaningful from that life that she wouldve liked to tell tesilid about#given how little she talks abt it... i kind of dont think so.................
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britneyshakespeare · 24 days
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i have been working with kids for four years and i had to write my first ever note just now about a seventh grade boy being inappropriate towards me. i don't know what the hell this could possibly lead to or what. he was trying to feel my legs repeatedly to the point where i had to stop sitting next to him (and i was subbing for his one-to-one para!!!). he's got high support needs. in that kind of job, you're supposed to sit next to them all day and look over their work.
the teacher whose classroom this was happening in could also tell something was wrong. the whole class was acting kinda crazy because it was the day before school vacation week and there was another class coming in to share projects. so like, he was swamped with keeping order already. but we were sitting two feet away from his podium at the front of the room. the kid was giving him and me a hard time when he wouldn't take out his chromebook as he was instructed. and then when he did take out his chromebook, he immediately, for some reason, places it on my lap. he had been ogling my legs the whole time. he puts his computer ON MY LAP. and i'm just like, stunned, because what the hell? can you not keep it on your own lap, for some reason? i don't even know what to say, i just hold it a little above my lap while i'm thinking why on earth would this be happening? he would NOT do this to his regular para if she were here, would he? this can't be normal.
and the teacher sees this and within a minute places a stool in front of the kid for him to put his laptop on. and i'm like. oh ok. yeah. he notices exactly what's happening and that that's not appropriate. and then when the other class comes in to share projects he tells me "miss b——, you don't actually have to sit next to c—— this whole period if you don't want to." and he grabs me a chair for me to go sit with the other paras in the back opposite corner of the room. like he KNEW. and thank you mr. d—— for recognizing that because i was just kind of shocked and didn't know if i was overreacting in my head to all of this.
when there's a point in the class where the kids are discussing stuff, i privately mention what's happened to the para who's sitting closest to me. and she says that the thing about him calling me pretty is something he's been known to do, but the fact that he kept trying to touch my legs is new behavior. and that's a completely different class of behavior. i was telling him NO, don't do that, and he kept doing it. and the fact that he was calling me pretty repeatedly, even when i was giving him instructions that he wasn't taking. and this is the second to last class before the end of the day, so she says she'll take a walk with him before learning center and talk to him about it, and i'm grateful for that. she does. the kid apologizes to me as soon as i come into learning center. but like. WHAT the hell.
i'm STILL like what the hell. this is unfathomable to me. the other adults who i told about this or who witnessed it were supportive of me. but. what to do??? i wrote a long note to his regular para about this, because i knew she was going to hear about it at least from the first para i told. the second para i told about it after school had a kind of... i'm not gonna say enabling reaction, but i suppose since it had already been "taken care of" (or at least, he had been spoken to and apologized) she didn't really have much to add in the way of discipline. i told her what happened after school and she was just like... a little bit, laughing? like oh, yup, that dog. she at the very least confirmed he KNEW what he was doing, that that was not an accident. she said to me "i had a feeling he was going to develop a crush on you" (me and these other paras were together for most of the beginning of the day too). but it's like. it's not about that.
i have worked with children for FOUR years. children have had crushes on me before; i'm quite unfazed by it. boys from the ages of 5-to-15 have told me i'm so pretty before and asked me to marry them. i've never had them feeling up my legs before. i've never had them making me physically uncomfortable. it's NOT about this seventh grader having a crush on the pretty substitute. he is NOT unusual for that, at all. but i've never had a boy of any age or education level repeatedly touching my knees and thighs. THAT is problem behavior!!!
because what if i wasn't assertive enough with him to tell him to stop? what if i was a girl his age? worse, what if i was an adult who encouraged this behavior? i don't come to the middle school to be a seductress. i had no intention in putting on a pair of tights and a skirt this morning of being viewed as an attractive object, especially not by a pubescent boy. what if i did though? what if his interpretation of me wasn't so incorrect and offensive? what if i let him keep touching me inappropriately and saying flirtatious things to me? me, an adult in my mid-twenties, towards a middle school boy?
in no world would that be ok. if i had been feeling up and overly-complimenting a CHILD at my place of work, holy shit would there be reports about me. so a child acting that way could never be ok either. if it'd be firable for me to be reciprocating that action, then that action should not be happening to me. ever. and that child should never repeat that action again to any other adult again.
like i am simply not there to be treated as an attractive young woman. i put on a skirt that shows too much knee and get paired with a boy, though, and that's apparently just a natural consequence. hooo-ly shit. like i don't know what to do. first of all, the more time passes since this has happened, the more i am just unable to stop thinking about it. i wasn't "hurt" or too emotional in the moment but i'm just still processing it and it gets worse. i'm just more and more disgusted.
i don't know what i expect to come out of this, or the email i sent to his regular para. like, am i gonna have to attend a fucking meeting? what is the precedent that this sets for him? WHY do i feel BAD for him about this? well, because he's a child, of course. a child who has done wrong he may not be able to understand. but he knows WHAT he did. he just doesn't know WHY it was wrong.
and i couldn't even say something to him that was like, "well, how would you like it if i was touching you like this?" because young boys do not understand how inappropriate it'd be. i'm sure this kid thought he was gonna get away with what he was doing at the very least. but probably not unlikely he (being a child with no concept of how wrong it'd be) thought he could get some sort of "positive" attention for treating me like this. either way he was simply doing what he wanted to do, with no perspective of how it would make me feel or that it could be classified as harassment. teenage boys think it'd be awesome if the older attractive woman would reciprocate their affections. they're wrong. i, as the older attractive woman of his affection, cannot be the one to convince him of that, though.
i don't know. i don't know. like it's just so not ok. but if i didn't tell another adult about this, he would've gotten away with it. he would probably do it again. and him being in trouble for it is not the same as him understanding that it was wrong. unless someone has a REAL talk with him about inappropriate attention and consent, it's not unlikely that he'll just repeat the behavior in a setting where he thinks he won't be caught or told on. THAT'S the problem. me, i could just never have to be this boy's para again. in my email, i didn't say that i would never be ok working with or around him ever again. he already knows i didn't like it and i'm not afraid to tell on him; as far as that lesson applies to me, individually, i think he's become too ashamed to repeat that.
i don't know. i don't know. i very much expressed that i, i guess, "forgave" him in the email that i wrote. i clarified that i was writing it for the sake of having it on the record. i think that could potentially be very important for the purposes of preventing further similar or escalating behavior from him in the future. i don't want him to be in trouble. i don't think i will be blamed for this, especially not with how promptly i acted, although i don't know to what extent this will be framed as me thinking i'm a "victim." i'm not... i don't feel victimized. i feel disgusted. i feel afraid for the sake of what could happen to or with him in the future, if he thinks behavior like his towards me today is ok.
i feel like if i end up having to further respond to this, this will be made about me. in a way it kind of was. is? in the moment it was happening, it was certainly about me. because i was the one this boy was giving all this unwanted attention to. but to make the consequences of this about me and to involve me any further, i also don't want. because i said what i said already, i don't care if a student has a crush on me. this isn't about me being the pretty substitute. i'm the pretty substitute all the time, to tons of people. that's not really something i've been concerned about up until now.
but do i have to reexplain my personal embarrassment? that i was wearing a skirt? that he was ogling my legs? really? what more do i have to gain from sharing that, other than having the adults at my place of work confirm or deny me in their heads as the pretty substitute? i don't know. perhaps that's REALLY overthinking it. but i don't want to be the substitute that caused a problem for this special ed kid. i don't wanna be the reason that he can't be around me anymore, the person people think of when they're monitoring how he's acting around girls and young women. i DON'T want to be the one people think of when they think of his past misbehavior. i'm NOT here for that.
that's just fucking humiliating. and in this being a thing that could follow him, i have to be ogled and touched over and over again in people's minds for this to be taken seriously. but for this to be swept under the rug would be even worse, no? i don't know. i hate this. the principal is a nice guy; i wouldn't be surprised if he and/or people from the special ed department reached out to me sympathetically about this. but i don't wanna be reached out to. i don't wanna have ppl i work with tell me "sorry that kid was just so attracted to you he couldn't help himself" like come on. if the kid himself doesn't change then i don't really care to remember this incident. and no one reaching out to me and saying they've talked to this kid will actually prove to me he understands. this is the kind of inappropriate behavior it takes years for people to understand why it was wrong, especially a child who has no idea. i mean come on.
#tales from diana#long post#sorry i should probably put this under a read more but it was just a long stream of consciousness#and idk. im tired. im so tired#do you wanna be known as the substitute teacher a kid kept touching inappropriately? probably not#thank god for the first para i told bc she took it really seriously seemingly. i mean idk what she told him in their conversation#not EXACTLY what she told him. she obviously said this was wrong and she reiterated in learning center again#that if that were her daughter she'd be through the roof and that she'd be telling his regular para#i mean of course i had to tell the regular para directly. i would rather it come from my mouth#i'm the one who has the most information of how and why it happened. i think other ppl telling it would just reduce it to#'he thought she was so pretty and he kept staring at and touching her legs cuz she wore a skirt' like come on#the indignity of that!#i already feel undignified enough.#and also thank god for the social studies teacher. the more im processing this the more im like thank god#i dont know him well. he had already been a nice dude to me before in my interactions w him#like as a sub you notice the people who are really affirming of the strange and irregular work you do#earlier this week i was subbing for the math teacher across the hall for instance and he came in before class started and said#that if anyone's giving me a hard time to just send them to him. bc that group can be a little rowdy/wild#my classroom discipline skills are not that bad where i felt the need to have someone more experienced defend me so to speak#like i know i look young and am assumed to be new. but with most classes. i can handle most misbehavior#i can put my foot down in a way kids normally respect. i know how to keep em on task#and for MOST of the day with this kid that's what i was doing. but if that social studies teacher hadn't done what he did#i might not feel so bold in just straight up walking away from that kid. after saying stop stop stop repeatedly#like he had his own job to do independent of me but i remember the gestures and like. i could cry. he KNEWWWW#that's just a very trustworthy person i feel. he didn't want me to suffer through that any longer#a lot of teachers (unfortunately) largely ignore the kids with paras and/or expect the paras to communicate to the kid exclusively#that teacher is not like that. he was willing to mind that boy while i escaped that situation. so so grateful to him
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raymend · 1 year
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not being able to sing well anymore is like the one part of being on t that is making me sad. like i miss being in choir but there's no fucking shot i could do it with my crackly ass voice. like yesterday i was tryiong to sing and it was so so so so bad. granted i talk in a higher register at work all day and i was zonked but i just couldnt hit pitches like i used to. like i know it will settle eventually and be fine but like. Whimper
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ihaventsleptinweekz · 6 months
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Sometimes I think I'm a normal person then the 11 pm thought kicks in and suddenly I'm insane
#Going to mildly and vaugly vent in the tags to buckle up ^_^#Will not clarify on any of this because it's more fun not to. Hope that helps#Anyway I'm kind of just. Weirded out by myself rn. Like I'm fine but I'm side-eyeing myself a little bit#And recently I've been believing thay I think really I was more immature a year ago#and while I do think back at her (year ago me) and kinda laugh at her for being overdramatic I feel kinda bad about it because yknow I was#But then I got kind of weirdly slowed down? In my being less freaked out process#Mostly because of Hellenite everyone say thank you hellenite (sarcastic love those fics so much)#But reading the fic kind of reminded me of the emotions that were going on at that time#And while I don't really miss or regret what happened too much anymore I think the general emotions of it started popping up again#Like idk how to say this but I'm over IT as a whole- but the emotions are still kinda left over?#Man really do NOT know how to put this#Cause it's kinda old news and frankly I am wildly happy with where I am right now#And I'm kind of thankful?? But also just a little :I about the whole thing. Which is making me inwardly side-eyeish#And I do think that I probably wouldn't change much if I could- and honestly I'm a little more embarrassed than anything else#Sorry for the weird long rambling tags just didn't want to call either of the like- maybe 3 friends I'd consider bringing this up with#I probably should check in with them though#Ough and I have work to do tmrw#Ew ew ew ew#Feel like this week has gone too damn fast and also not fast enough lmao#I'm also kinda nervous because I might have to take the ASL placement test soon to see if I qualify for skipping a couple ASL classes#Which would be nice cause I would LOVE to graduate quicker#And with all the AP classes I took in high-school it'd be nice to knock a bit of time off my college thing#Although admittedly I DID get that scholarship so it couldn't hurt???#It might actually give me more time to get EIPA certified and check out some internships??#Which would make getting jobs out of college WAY easier#Although maybe it'd be easier to get NIC certified if I retook a couple classes instead of trying to skip them??? God maybe I'd be behind#Ofc that wouldn't be a thing until after college#I'll probably have to save up money soon to start thinking about taking the test since it's so damn hard and so damn expensive#At least from what other interpreters have told me#Which is good!!! The it being hard thing anyways. Makes sure Deaf people get GOOD interpreters thst they deserve!!
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fleshdyke · 9 months
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absnskaisgbsj
#lost literally one of the best friendships of my life yesterday#i mean it’s been gone for a while i just never had the courage to talk to them about it until yesterday. and that basically confirmed it tbh#they didn’t say i did anything wrong but they also didn’t not say i did anything wrong and i’m v paranoid that i did do smth wrong#like i dont want to talk bad abt any of them bc genuinely i had so much fun with these people and im so glad i got to know them#like when i talked to them they were very dry ig? like not like their usual self at all even when talking to someone they dont know#definitely sounded like they were talking to someone they hated. im trying to tell myself taht its just my anxiety but ummm yeah idk i think#im actually right this time#idk. it just sucks man. im trying to think of what i did wrong bc i just dont know what happened#i think im overanalyzing every interaction i can remember having with these ppl bc i dont even want to entertain the idea that they might#have been bad people all along. i dont want to think that and i dont but idk it feels like an observation about myself that ive made from#the outside in yk. like half of me is feeling the emotional response and the other half is just watching from the outside like im someone#else. and i know this is a normal human thing but its just always weird yk#and then theres the whole awful thing of seeing shit that they would find funny or that reminds me of them. and i also dont know what im#supposed to do when school starts back up again bc we took a lot of the same classes and if i end up in a class with them idk if im supposed#to say hi or just pretend they dont exist or not and i dont want to make the wrong decision so they hate me even more yk#whatever man. it fucking sucks but life goes on. my dog is just chilling in my room rn and i’ll always have her and tia and my brother#rambles#vent
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as-rare-as-trees · 1 year
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Something something about being loved and loved and loved and loved and-
#pls excuse me I just need to *sobs in a corner*#it's about the little things#and finding yourself surrounded with sweet sweet people#and just#okay warning I might do some negative self talk in the following tags so stop here if it's triggering#but like.... i don't have the best relationship with myself and there are these moments where I'll be feeling so low and just feel this#hate-resentment at myself#and somebody does/says something so simply sweet and nice and I just#there's a chant of -I don't deserve this. I don't deserve this love. I don't deserve these loving sweet people.-#and it just brings me to tears to be loved like this#(i know this is something I need to work on)#specifically this afternoon I was feeling kinda shittily#and I had talked with my uni friend about how I was thinking again about dropping this cool practical activity in a lab we've started#as i don't feel like I can handle it#and after a while she was like -while at the supermarket I was thinking about the lab thing and realized that I was with other people#and I talk more to the class in general while you're quieter. And you didn't have me there bothering you and talking in your ear so maybe#that's also why it's harder for you-#(she was in the first group and I am in the second one)#and then she added -I can start sending you messages about random things-#and like#it's such a simple simple thing#but it was so overwhelmingly sweet#i felt so loved#and we barely know each other in a way and yet and yet#(even now I feel the echo of -I don't quite deserve this- but I have to ignore that)#there are many many other moments when I feel overwhelmed by love#it's all about LOVE LOVE LOVE#vaneggiando#a friend just told me -you deserve the world- and I AM IN PIECES DEVASTATED
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