#its just. Yeah. again like i know that ill be fine its just sad

[raymend]

not being able to sing well anymore is like the one part of being on t that is making me sad. like i miss being in choir but there's no fucking shot i could do it with my crackly ass voice. like yesterday i was tryiong to sing and it was so so so so bad. granted i talk in a higher register at work all day and i was zonked but i just couldnt hit pitches like i used to. like i know it will settle eventually and be fine but like. Whimper

[ayyponine]

girl help im going back n forth on whether or not i should send an email to thank the beautiful man fr letting me join the drawing session last week (more info on that entire situation here and here) and letting him know i probably wont be back but appreciate having had the experience either way. great or horrible idea leave a comment or DM to lmk.

[transgaysex]

btw i did not get my testosterone dose raised bc my endocrinologist said that im already on the higher side of testosterone in my blood by cis men standards and she didnt want to overdose me

[wishful-seeker]

Tips on how to avoid being unintentionally ableist

1. When a disabled person says they cannot do something, and you wish to offer solutions, do not make a solution that involves them powering through pain, or something thats not accessible to the disabled.

Example:

Disabled person: "washing dishes hurts too much and i cannot do it."

Abled person: "what if you did one dish at a time throughout the day?"

This statement is not respecting that this disabled person just said they "can't". Always respect that. No matter how simple the task would be for you.

Disabled person:" i think ill use plastic silverware so i don't make dishes."

Abled person: "plastic is bad for the environment!"

This statement shuts down the most accessible and disabled friendly option that this disabled person can actually do because of the abled persons personal beliefs. This is not helpful, and ableist.

Better yet, instead of offering solutions, ask them directly "is there anything you need that you do not have that would help you do this?" This allows the disabled person to think about what would work, and they will always have a better idea of what would work than you do.

To add on to this, when we say we have no more energy to solve a problem or do a task, or change our lifestyle, we mean it.

2. If you feel discomfort when a disabled person is talking about their health, good and bad, that is ableist. Your discomfort is coming from a place that deams disabled peoples very existence as a bad thing and you need to fix that.

For example:

Disabled person:" this week has been rough pain wise, ive been through a lot, felt like my body was on fire. Lucky i got new meds though and i think they're helping!"

Abled person: "can we talk about something else, this is a bummer."

Disabled people should be able to exist freely without worrying about your personal comfort. Do you really think its appropriate to tell someone in constant pain that their life is making YOU uncomfortable?

3. Do not treat disabled people as tragedies, do not romanticize their old life or put their current one down.

For example:

Disabled person: "yeah my life is pretty difficult sometimes, ive lost a lot but i still have happy moments."

Abled person: "it makes me so sad to see what disabled people go through :(. You used to love rock climbing and running, i would love to see you move around more again."

This statement is putting more value on the disabled persons abled past, and ignoring their life as a whole.

4. Do not avoid speaking to disabled people because it hurts to see your loved one disabled.

For example: my grandmother avoids conversations with me because it hurts her to see me in pain. While she has good intentions it leaves me being unable to be close to her. This is very isolating to the disabled.

5. Do not stop inviting your disabled friend/loved one out even if they are never well enough to attend. Unless we specifically ask you to stop asking if we can go out, good chances are we want to know you still care because again, disability is very isolating.

6. When a disabled person says certain things in their health have gotten better or worse, do not challenge this because you don't see a difference.

For example:

Disabled person: "yeah things are getting a little better"

Abled person sees disabled person using their wheelchair like usual: "i thought you said you were getting better?"

Better and worse are usually small changes only the disabled experience, its not like abled people healing from a broken arm. Better to a disabled person could mean they can stand for 10 more minutes.

7. Do not expect disabled people to ever be abled again, and again, do not put more value on an abled life.

For example:

Disabled person:"I have been using a wheelchair for 2 years."

Abled person: "oh you're young, im sure you'll be walking around in no time!"

This statement invalidates and ignores the disabled persons current life by hoping they get a more abled bodied life. Its fine to hope disabled people get better, but you don't get to decide what better looks like.

Hope this helps, stay punk.

[saursoob]

OK HEAR ME OUT!! RIKI X READER WITH THIS PROMPT: "I know it was a dream, but I felt you here."

A/N: AAA THANK U FOR THE REQUEST SORRY FOR THE WAIT HERE IT IS!! (i made this before the fate tour ended so just imagine 😁)

synopsis warnings: niki is exhausted and misses you, crying, sobbing, sad, comfort, fluff

word count: 708

niki slowly awoke to see you only inches away from his face with a faint smile as you admired him, “good morning” you said as you kissed him on his forehead. he backed away quickly, his widened eyes in shock, “w-what are you doing here y/n?” you laugh at his question like it was a silly thing to ask. “niki what are you talking about?” his eyebrows tightened, “but y-you’re at home? you’re not here with me...” his eyes became watery as his confusion shifted into sadness. he was aware you weren’t actually with him. “i- i miss you so much y/n” he said as he pulled you into a hug, tightly wrapping his arms around you as he began to sob. “i want to go home but i cant. you’re home”

niki awoke in his hotel bed with dried tears in his eyes. that dream was too real, too cruel.

-

niki’s day went on and finally ended after another draining concert. exhausted, he sat on the hotel bed resting his head against the headboard, he sighs deeply as he restrained himself from crying. it was all crashing down, all the feelings he pushed aside towards the dream he had this morning all coming back to him.

unwillingly tears trickled down his face, he couldn’t handle it anymore. his heart ached, he was so physically and mentally exhausted and you. you weren’t here to make it better. he missed your touch, your kisses and cuddles.

he thinks that ultimately it could be worse. you do call and text after every concert but— its not the same.

shit. you always call after a concert.

his phone next to him lit up as the words on the screen illuminated “incoming facetime from y/n <3”

he quickly wiped his tears before answering and made sure his face wasn’t showing on screen to prevent you from seeing his puffy eyes.

he only showed the ceiling of the room as he picked up. “h-hey y/n.” he stuttered and his voice came out shaky. you look at your screen took aback, it was obvious something was wrong. you softly asked, “niki, is something wrong?” you could hear faint sniffing coming through your end of the phone as he responded, “no nothing.. i just— really miss you y/n” his voice sounded dejected, it broke your heart to hear. “me too.. i miss you too niki” he slowly showed his face to the camera, the room was darkly lit with only the lamp on, his cheeks a pink hue and had tears streaming down his face. “but- it’s different, i- i cant do this without you.”

you sighed as you quickly adapted to the situation you have to be strong for him and for you, but being honest seeing your boyfriend in this state made you want to cry as well. be strong. you have to find out what happened for his emotions change so significantly in only a days time. “‘ki- what caused this, i swear you you fine yesterday? did something bad happen?” he shook his head, “no, nothing bad happened..” “is that really true niki.” his lips turned into a slight pout, “its just i ..i had a dream last night that you were here. it felt so real and i knew it was fake. i knew it was a dream but i felt you here. it was such a cruel dream.”

trying your best to shift his mood you put on a smile, “i know its been hard for us but we can push though it, we have before yeah?” he nods his head to that, “yeah we did.” you giggle, “and we will again.” he wipes his tears, sighing dramatically as he rolls his eyes, “i do miss your kisses though” you laugh, “ill make sure to give you tons of kisses when you get home” he moves the phone extremely close to his face, “you better, i’ve been deprived enough” you suddenly come up with an idea, “niki get closer to the camera” he lowly chuckles, “uhh okay” as he approaches to get closer you rush to quickly kiss the camera “there a kiss” he lets out a surprised laugh before saying, “wait i didn’t get to kiss you back”

[pixieskie]

˖˚˳⊹"i really do love you.. im sorry"˖˚˳⊹

-warnings: Angst, depress!on, su!c!dal thoughts, detachment, scars, body dysmorphia, disassociation, not proofread, chubby reader. -chars mentioned: Scaramouche -wc: 0.6k -a/n: i dont even know what to say.. Um this is .. something.. enjoy?

masterlist

as someone who felt every emotion more intense than others, it also meant feeling more sad. it should've been fine but you simply couldn't feel happy.. you have friends and family but still felt so lonely..

“helloooo” scaramouche waved his hand infront of your face to get your attention.

Suddenly looking up, you see him frowning at you. “what’re you thinking so hard about.. do you not wanna watch the movie?”

“sorry.. i just spaced out” you said embarrassed.. “just continue the movie, ill pay attention this time”.. Scara simply muttered a small ‘fine’ and resumed it.

Scaramouche is your best friend, the one you share everything with. But.. he could never understand the depth of your emotions.. The void you feel inside.. The aching loneliness that consumes you at every moment.

“Yes lets go to the beach!! itll be perf....”

“ooh i just bought a new bikini…..”

“wont it be too sunny? ill get tanne….”

you drowned out their conversation and thought of excuses to skip… you had no other choice.. a bikini wouldn't cover your scars, stretch marks or tummy fat.. it would be on display for everyone to see your insecurities and then they'd hate you.

“guys im sorry but i have to study this weekend.. exams are close”

“again? but didnt you say the same last week…”

“oh come on! itll be so fun…”

“ugh she does the same everytime…”

Ofcourse they wouldn't understand.. They had the perfect body..

The words were blurred as you tried to read them.. Nothing made sense to you anymore.. Your exams were near and you have to study but the words together don't make sense anymore..

Sighing, you went to splash some water on your face to wake yourself up. Looking up into the mirror, you saw failure.. Someone who cant study.. Someone who wouldnt be able to make a living..

You sat back down at your desk.. You can study and change your future right? its just a book..

But.. you cant make yourself read the words anymore.. you felt so tired..

Why cant you also be like others?.. Everyone else is so successful and perfect.. They have good grades, perfect body and happy lives..

You sat on the edge of the roof.. This used to be your hang out spot with Scara but eventually you both stopped meeting there.

“where the fuc- YOURE HERE?” Scara dramatically sighed, huffing. “Ive been searching all over for you. Come on, ive made dinner.. you have to eat something”

You chucked softly at his caring nature and nodded silently.. “Scara?” he was about to leave but turned back to look at you “yeah?”

“I love you”

He chuckled in confusion “yeah yeah i get it, i love you too. no need to get all sentimental with me, its just dinner.”

You turned back to the sky once he left. He probably went to your kitchen to fill a plate for you..

You smiled at the thought. He was the best person you could've asked for..

And it hurts. He cared for you so much but you couldn't appreciate it..

Leaving never had to be this painful.. But a tear fell down and you closed your eyes, recounting your memories..

There were so many happy moments you never got to enjoy.. Sad moments you stayed numb.. And the huge gap in your memory.. and nobody knew how you felt because you never let them.

‘Im so tired… Im so tired..” You looked at your feet, dangling off the roof.. ‘i hate this .. i dont wanna do this.. but theres nothing else to be done’

You took a deep breath in.. “i really do love you.. im sorry”...

…..

tags: @rubywonu @stygianoir @unsavoy-melon @kashiiwi @babbledabble25

[p3ndeja6]

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩

c.brock x latina! y/n

summary: you moved to LA to be with your long distance boyfriend, you were having a great time, but after a couple of months you started to feel homesick and missed your hometown and your culture

content tags: spanish speaking reader, mexican reader, cultural references, overall a hispanic reader, not proof-read

word count: 1.6k

fluff ❀﹐

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Y/N

I've loved my time here in LA with colby and sam and all their friends but i recently fell in a funk. I miss my family and my friends.

you were scrolling through your photos and snapchat memories of your time in your hometown and started to feel really homesick, you began to cry, you laid back on you side and cried.

you missed your mom's delicious cooking, how she would make handmade tortillas, or her salsa picante. you didnt have that here and nor did anyone make it, you didnt have any hispanic friends in LA. You would only hang out with sam and colby's friends

you liked them but they sometimes including colby didnt understand your jokes or references. it sometimes pained you that you felt out of place around them.

you connected your speaker in the room that was given to you when you first moved to their house, and a song that reminded you of your dad started to play; its your dad's favorite song, and you couldn't control the sadness that flowed through your body

you spent a good two hours just crying and eventually calmed down but you were puffy eyed and your breathing was skipped

you sat up to recollect your self before colby came home and would come in your room, until another song started to play from your playlist, a heart wrenching song that reminded you of your beloved parents.

you started to cry again, you leaned back to the head board and clutched your body as you were singing to the lyrics

Colby came in the room all happy and giddy until he saw you crying

"oh my god! y/n are you okay? are you hurt? does something hurt?"

he was panicking trying to figure out why you were crying.

"no... nothings wrong" you got up quickly and turned around to wipe your face. he also got up to try to look at you but you kept avoiding him until he grabbed you face and made you look at him

"y/n.. somethings wrong, please just tell me"

"you wont understand" "just try me"

you mustered up the courage to tell him the truth. you looked at him and started to tear up again

"i-i just feel... i just started to feel homesick, thats all" colby was relieved that it wasnt anything life threatening

"oh, well why is that?"

"i dont know... i just miss home, like i really do. my family and friends, my culture and the food, everything" you looked at how he felt hurt about how you were talking about missing your family and friends.

"dont get me wrong, i love being here with you, you make being here so bearable but i just miss my people.. thats all" you half smiled

"no.. yeah i get that, is there anything i can do to make you feel better?"

"no its fine, i just need a couple minutes alone thats all"

"yeah yeah sure... ill be downstairs if you need me alright?"

you kissed him and hugged him tightly, feeling so safe in his arms.

"thank you, i love you"

"i love you too" he walked out and closed the door, feeling terrible that you felt that way, he wished he could do something about your homesickness

COLBY

as i walked back downstairs to sit with sam on the couch, he noticed my upset mood.

"Everything alright dude?" "uh.. yeah its just y/n is feeling homesick and sorta on the verge of going back home"

"oh shit dude, i definitely know what she's feeling" " do you think we've made her not feel at home? you think I haven't made her feel like home?" " i mean we haven't really done anything to make her feel at home"

"shit dude youre right, we haven't, i feel like the worst boyfriend ever. cant even make my girlfriend feel loved or feel like this is her home"

i started to think about ways to make her feel at home, i can cook her favorite food? no its too late for that, its almost 8

"what should i do sam?" "how about you take her to the other side of LA, take her some place authentic, not might be like where she's from but its the closest thing we got"

"yeah yeah you're right, let me go tell her!"

i ran upstairs and came up to her door, softly knocked to let her know i was coming in, she was still there in bed listening to her spanish music.

"hey y/n.. how you holding up?" "hi.. im doing alright, still trying to get my breathing under control" she let out a dry giggle

i caressed her face admiring her glossy eyes and her stained cheeks, leaning down to kiss her on her forehead, " i was thinking-" she sat up "what were you thinking"

"how about i take you out to eat some place special?" "ehh im not in the mood to eat colby" "no cmon i know a place, trust me"

Y/N

he looked at me with pleading eyes, "sure why not"

"alright get reading in ten minutes" "okay" you smiled and got up to get ready, he left the room to let you get dressed

you wore some ripped jeans with your white Mexico world cup jersey, and some black platform converse. added some mascara and some lip balm before leaving you grabbed your purse

you went downstairs and was greeted by colby waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs. "hey y/n!"

"hey sam"

"you ready to go babe?"

"yes of course!"

"but before we leave i need you to put this on"

he was holding a blindfold, you looked at him confused and he went behind you to put the blindfold on, you were about to protest before he kissed your cheek and wrapped the blindfold around your eyes

"alright lets go, bye sam!"

you headed out the door, stumbling trying to remember all the steps to get to the car, colby opened the car door and helped you inside.

"was the blindfold really necessary?" "yeah babe, i want to surprise you"

"it wont really be a surprise if we go to in n out" he laughed at the assumption

"how about i put some music on?" "hmm yeah okay" colby connected his phone to the car's bluetooth and a song you recognized easily came on. you started to sing along to song. Colby created a playlist on your favorite spanish-speaking songs. He had to stalk your public Spotify playlist to be able to create the playlist.

"omg i love this song!!" you started to sing the song, pointing the lyrics to Colby not knowing how much of a distraction you are creating for him on the road.

still with the blindfold on you continue to sing all the songs that played, surprised how many spanish songs kept coming on

"omg how do you know these songs?!" "did you stalk my spotify?" you let out a laugh, "gosh y/n no I didn't" yes he did

you laughed at him, knowing well that this is from your playlist, or you thought it was just your playlist he started to play.

"are we there yet?" "no"

"are we there yet now?" "almost"

"what about now?" "actually yeah we are"

"why did it take you so long to drive to in n out if its only a 15 minute drive from the house?"

as you heard opening his side of the door, he rushed over to open your door, "well babe, we arent actually at in n out"

confused, wondering where else he would have taken you

"well.. where are we-" you started to smell the char smell of meat... taco meat.

"omg it smells so good.. where are we..?"

"well let me cross you over the street to find out" "what?"

you started to take off the blindfold until he stopped you, "ah ah ahh, no taking this off yet until i say so" "omg colby where are we"

he guided you across the street, smelling everything. it smelled like home almost, you started to hear the steam of a grill and the music that you grew up listening to. Hearing chatter among people.. in spanish?

"colby... where are we?"

colby finally let go of you and starting to take the blind fold off of you, you adjust to the light and rubbing your eyes a bit to clearly see the scene.

taqueros and vendedores making and selling snacks and meals. hearing them laugh, sing, and speak spanish.

"oh my god.." you said under your breath looking all over, small tears start to well up. "colby.. what is this?"

"i felt really bad that you were feeling homesick, and i hate seeing you cry, so i thought maybe i try to bring home to you... I know this isnt exactly home but i love you so much that i would do anything for you and to show you how much you mean to me, i dont want you to go home, i want to always make you happy y/n"

your tears finally fell, you fully realized how special and loving colby was, you felt so warm and loved.

"Colby... this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me, you have no idea how much this means to me, and for you to actually consider this idea really brings me to tears, i am so completely in love with you"

you grabbed his head and kissed him, deepening the kiss and full engulf his lips. you let go and admire his big beautiful eyes.

"gosh.. well cmon lets eat something, what kind of tacos do you want babe?" "ehh i have no clue what to get, everything looks so good, how about you order me something"

you smiled at him, wondering how did you get so lucky to have someone so special such as colby brock

you turned over to the taquero and smiled at him, the man smiling back at you and asking what you what would you like to eat.

[mxqdii]

cardigan - m.s

pairings: matt sturniolo x reader

summary: cardigan by taylor swift lyrics as matt and readers relationship (idk how to explain just read it)

warning(s): angst, fluff, some sad stuff.

not proofread

and when i felt like i was an old cardigan, under someones bed. you put me on and said i was your favorite.

i sit in my room muffling my sobs as i hear footsteps coming towards the door.

i hear three light knocks along with matts soft voice

"y/n? are you okay?" he asks and i quickly wipe my tears and clear my throat.

"yeah, yeah i'm fine." i croak out and the door slightly opens, the sight of matt filling my eyes with more tears

he sits down on the bed next to me wiping my tears as they fall

"what happened? talk to me." he says tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"i'm no ones favorite person, i know that sounds stupid i just-" you ramble on before getting interrupted.

"you're my favorite person"

a friend to all, is a friend to none, chase two girls, loose the one.

im sitting at home when i get a text from nick saying to come to a movie with him.

i groan, feeling all comfortable in my spot on the couch when i feel my phone vibrate again.

"come on, ill pay if you drive" the text says.

i agree and get ready, pulling up to the triplets house and opening the unlocked door.

nick comes downstairs and i pause

"oh! i almost forgot, i have to get my sweater back from matt, i left it here last time" i say, walking upstairs to matts room.

i forget to knock and just open the door, seeing what was about to be a kiss between matt and some other girl.

matt jumps at the sight of me and tears fill my eyes

"what the fuck matt??" i yell

"its not what it looks like!" he says and i laugh as the tears roll down my cheek

"ohh okay, enlighten me then." i snap back and he looks down to the floor

"i just- i wanted to be sure.." he mumbles

"what?" i say, fidgeting with my rings.

"i'm just- i'm being a friend okay y/n!? i comfort you when you're upset don't i?" he explains

"okay then, tell me you feel absolutely nothing for her then, tell me i'm the only girl you like" i protest, waiting for his response

he stays silent, looking down, which is all of an answer that i need from him.

"you've just lost me matt, goodbye."

but i knew you, playing hide and seek and giving me your weekends.

i sit at the table amongst my friends, them all engaging in the conversation.

meanwhile, i'm looking at old pictures and videos of me and matt, remembering what we had.

the adrenaline, the laughter, the love.

tears brim my eyes but i push them back, not wanting to burst out crying in the middle of lunch.

i come across a video of me and matt trying not to laugh while hiding from chris and nick.

i smile as a tear falls, remembering our movie nights every weekend, our date to the aquarium, everything.

i don't wanna miss him, but how could i not?

you drew stars around my scars, but now im bleeding.

when things got rough, matt was always there. he was the one telling me it was alright, the one who got me through it all, even if it was silly little things.

"no way! i am not going" i protest and matt laughs

"y/n, you have to." he says, grabbing my hand

ive hated going to the doctor since i was little,

(which matt is very aware of.)

sadly he still wants me to go even though im begging him not to make me

(we both know he'll make me go)

"listen, i know you dont like going, but i'll be there the whole time okay? plus it's this appointment and then one more next month, and thats it."

i sigh in defeat, knowing i can't be upset when he makes it all better.

"fine but you're coming to the next one too." i say and he laughs

"its already in my calender" he says with a smile

i stare at the reminder on my phone about tomorrow's doctors appointment, remembering how matt promised he'd go to it with me.

but that was last month, and things were different then.

i feel tears fall down my face, remembering how much better things were with matt.

i go on messages and click on matts contact, debating on calling him.

i groan, putting my phone back in my pocket, driving to the appointment.

but i knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss, i knew you'd haunt all of my what if's

its been 2 months since everything, and me and matt have been texting a little bit since, thing's aren't the same, they never will be.

it'll never be like how it used to.

"matt! stop!" i say laughing

"get off!" i yell with laughter

if someone were to walk in right now, they'd see two lovestruck teenagers in matts bed.

he's currently tickling me to death and attacking me with kisses.

and even though i'm telling him to stop, in this moment, i feel like i've never been happier.

he stops his actions and his face hovers above mine, his eyes flickering to my lips

i smile, and he kisses me softy.

a kiss filled with love and passion, a kiss i'll never forget.

i knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired

me and nick have been on call for a while and somehow the topic stumbled on to matt and the girl i walked in on him with

"yeah i think matt's tired of her or something, me and chris don't really like her either" he says and my eyes widen

"what do you mean he's tired of her?" i ask

"well, he used to be more excited around her but now the most i see him smiling is when he's texting you"

nick says and my heart flutters

i can't go back to matt, not after what he did.

but i do really miss him, and i know he misses me too.

"you should start talking to him more, i know he really hurt you after what he did but i think he's truly changed, he seems just- i dont know- different." nick rambles on

"i dont know nick... after what he did, if he's really changed, he's gonna have to prove it to me." i say.

i knew you'd come back to me.

"happy birthday to y/n, happy birthday to you!" the party sings and i blow out my candles

i am happy, but i can't help but feel like somethings missing.

all my friends and family are here, everyone i know and love, everyone except matt.

i feel sadness fill my thoughts for a moment but brush it off, i can't be sad right now, not here, not today.

i watch as everyone encourages me to open gifts, agreeing while sitting down around the pile of presants.

i open them, listening to the chatter around me and the rain pouring from outside, opening all but 1.

"who's this one from?" i ask, laughing at the handwriting, but nobody answers.

i look around at everyone as they stay silent, making me look down at the writing again, instantly remembering that only matt writes his T's like that.

i smile, unwrapping the gift.

my eyes widen at the sight, its a necklace i said i wanted last year.

he remembered.

a smile, observing it, when suddenly there’s a knock at the door.

i look around, confused because everyone was already here, but still getting up to open the door.

i widen my eyes at the sight of matt, soaking wet, drenched by the rain.

"listen, i'm sorry, truly y/n. i was so fucked up for leading you on like that and then just throwing it all away, it's you y/n it's always been you. you're the one for me, and i know i messed up but i can't sit at home re-reading our texts and watching our old videos, i want you back- please i- i need you back." he says, voice hoarse from crying, tears streaming down his face.

"i-" i try to find the words to respond, but can't

i step out onto the porch where he was standing, letting the rain drench me as well.

pulling matt in, kissing him.

a kiss that will forevermore top any other kiss.

a kiss filled with need and desire, a desire to just be close to eachother again.

we pull away after what feels like forever, and he places his forhead against mine.

"you're always gonna be my favorite"

[thisfanisgonesorry]

hi if you're still taking requests, I can't get the idea of arthur somehow being in the epilogue, alive and thriving, working on the ranch with john and his family and just being happy

IM IN LOVE WITH YOU!! omg thanks for the req <3 i hope u enjoy it cutiepie, sorry it took me a lil bit

ending cowrote by @megbimbo loml

tags: yall are in the epilogue, making this an xreader since im basically useless if i dont but its light so dw, canon deviation obviously, high honor arthur. very angsty because my little gremlin brain could not just make him healthy but HE IS HAPPY!! MY BOY IS A HAPPY CAMPER!!; i usually write 1st person but i got possessed so heres a 2nd person fic (never doing this again, sorry if its shit), genderneutral but implied fem reader. milking the cows was the most pleasurable part of the epilogue after the absolute shitshow i had to endure that was chapter 6. arthur milks the cows for that exact reason. some medical terms i know that probably werent viable to use back in the day but idc. some cowboy stuff i learnt as a wee lass when i had a horsey. so many tags ill shut up now. (i got sad at the end of the fic because i realised you cant kiss him. that made me sad.) also water pump distance ref because its.. not as close as i thought it was.

♡

You and Abigail tended the house while Arthur and John were outside, doing god knows what, their manly chores. Jack and Uncle had a day trip to Blackwater, running errands and such, getting groceries, the works. Jack needed to get out of the house and Uncle needed to get out of doing work.

“I’ve got this.” Abigail spoke, taking the plate from your hands. A brisk nod and you wandered off outside to check on the boys, mostly worried for Arthurs wellbeing, as you tended to be. As the years dragged on, the remaining gang had been accustomed to not treat Arthur like he was fragile, which often than not, resulted in him being injured or overworked in some capacity or another.

You knew well enough that John would take care of Arthur and not work him to exhaustion, especially in this blazing heat, but nursing him back to health after things went south all that time ago wasn’t an easy job, and when they were building the house, he had a pretty bad flare up. 

There was a slight sound of wheezing coming from the distance, your ears perked slightly, rushing down the main steps and looking around. You could vaguely see them over by the water pump in the distance.

Arthur was sitting on the ground, John hovering over him, rubbing his back slowly as Arthur coughed and spluttered. You rushed over to them, evidently worried.

“What happened?”

John looked over to you, softly speaking. “He pushed himself too hard.”

“Yeah.” He spluttered. “I’ll be fine.”

You kneeled beside Arthur, rubbing his back as John pulled away to fill the bucket with water to continue their water run, also so Arthur could take a handful and drink some, hopefully hydrating his throat enough to stop him from tearing his oesophagus. 

Water Runs; They were dreaded, the water buckets would get heavy, and in heat like this, you’d need to do the runs multiple times a day to keep the animals hydrated. It got worse if the water troughs were under direct sunlight, the amount depended on the day, the weather and the animals, but the horses needed the extra water this summer, as did the sheep and the cows. All around, it was an awful chore.

Arthur, being the horse lover he is, would be quite adamant in keeping the horses up during the heat, making sure they’re okay. Though, because of the humid air, it was causing his illness to worsen. He slurped up a handful of water, and his coughing let up slightly.

“You need to rest.” You spoke firmly, as John picked up the bucket and walked it over to the remaining troughs, walking over into the sheep pen so he could keep a keen eye on Arthur momentarily. 

“I know, I know.” He groaned. “John and I have a lot of things to do.”

“This is John’s ranch, not yours. Sit down for a bit.”

“But the horses—”

“But nothing. You can care for them later this evening.”

Your voice hung in the air sternly and he pouted like a child, he needed to sit down and rest, to be removed from the hot and muggy air. Once the blazing sun begins to set and the air begins to cool, he would be allowed to go back to his duties. 

John waddled back over with the bucket, filling it up but lingering before he delivered it to the other animals. “Don’t worry, Arthur. I can do this on my own.”

“I want to help.” He spoke sternly, trying to stand up but weakly clutching his chest as he required the aid of you and John to get to his feet.

“How many other chores have you got today?”

John took the conversation away from Arthur, now more than just on board with the concept of letting him sit down and rest for a while. “Just the water, feeding, and milking the cows.”

“I can milk the cows.” Arthur objected.

You sighed, looking over at him, knowing he would rather keel over than be useless. He was a helper; for as long as he’s been known by any of the people on this ranch, he’s always been willing to help people. His need to work died down drastically since he’d been adopted to live on the ranch, but that didn’t mean the lack of drive didn’t eat away at him.

John raised his hands in a defeated shrug. “Let him milk the cows.”

“Fine, but I’m keeping a close eye on him.”

“That’s probably for the best.” John shrugged, with his shoulders this time, grunting as he picked up the bucket, continuing the water run. 

Arthur had a horrendous side eye on him, though he restrained the urge to say something snarky, “I can do this on my own.” He spoke instead, as he began to stride his way to the barn. 

“I know.” You responded, following behind him. 

He seemed upset at the sudden switch of attitude, even after all this time, he wasn’t used to people treating him like he was sick. For the most part, people didn’t, but, for equal parts, he didn’t often tell people that he was sick, instead playing to be super cautious whenever around anyone new.

He took a seat on the stool beside the cow and you stood behind him, leaning against the pillar.

“I’m fine.” He reassured as he slowly milked the cow, the metal panging sound of the bucket being hit with liquid filled the barns silence.

“I know.” You repeated quietly, not really paying attention to the words leaving your mouth. “Jus’ making sure you’re okay, we’re bein’ careful, ‘s all.”

“I don’t need it.”

“I know you want to act like you’re okay, but you’re not. You’ve had a few close calls. We’re just trying to keep you...” You trailed off, not wanting to say the blunt words that weighed heavy. We’re trying to keep you alive.

He stayed silent as John slowly opened the barn doors, entering almost silently and taking the milk pail as it filled to the top.

“I’ll deal with this.”  He said briefly, leaving us quietly to continue our discussion.

Arthur stayed painfully silent as your words lingered heavily in the air, John was quick to disappear into his jobs, and Arthur stayed on the stool, petting the cow softly.

“I get it.” He spoke after a long pause of silence. “I’m sorry, I just...” He rotated his hands in a motion to gesture the continuation of his sentence, not really wanting to finish it himself.

“Just come inside for a bit.” 

He sighed in defeat, standing up from the cow and patting her softly as he removed himself from her side. He really suited this life, and it’s a darn shame that he can’t do too much with it. 

He walked inside slowly, dragging his feet. 

“Don’t get sulky.”

Uncle and Jack returned from Blackwater, pulling up in the wagon. Abigail had left the house to greet them and assist them while John did god-knows-what, something or other to do with the milk. 

Jack and Uncle were having a conversation, or maybe an argument, about something in Blackwater, and they were asking Abigail her opinion as they unpacked the back of the wagon. 

Arthur didn’t necessarily expect anyone to understand the struggles he had to deal with, he was dealt a poor hand, and partially, it was his fault. His days were numbered, and despite the unconditional love and support that everyone offered him, it only did so much into elongating that timer. It was a silent rule that we all knew it’d happen, and once it did, we’d most likely all point fingers on who’s to blame.

“Arthur.” Jack called out, grabbing his attention from his dreary thoughts and tossing him a fresh notebook. It lifted his spirits almost immediately. “I noticed your old one was getting full.” He responded plainly.

“Thanks, kid.” He smiled, still very clearly unwell and needing to rest but his mood had been lifted slightly. He walked through the front door quickly, wanting to get through before they’d be rushing things to and from inside the house. 

He walked over to the fridge and pulled out a cold glass bottle of water, looking over at you begrudgingly as he sat down on the dining room table and flipped through the soft new pages of the notebook.

“Any idea what you’ll do with it yet?”

He shook his head plainly. “No, I might draw some of the horses. Been a while since I drew Boadicea, or Rachel.” He shrugged. “Could draw Neil if he’d stand still.”

“That’s good.”

“Might go up to Owanjila at some point.”

“You could make a day of it.”

“Yeah, I could.”

You let out an exasperated sigh. “Can you stop doing that?” You cursed at him, agitated by how he was acting. “Don’t get upset at me over this.”

“I was fine.” He gritted his teeth.

“You were on the ground struggling to breathe.” You bit back, emphasising every word. He didn’t respond, just glancing away from you. He knew you were right, but didn’t want to admit it since it was inherently showing more weakness. “You...” You trailed off briefly.

“Sorry.” He mumbled, interjecting the conversation. “Jus’.. Don’t wanna be useless.”

“You’re not useless, you’re sick.”

“I know but—”

“Don’t you even try to compare yourself to Uncle.” Arthur stayed silent as you hit the nail on the head. “You did enough work today. Relax. Draw, journal, something. You have a few hours until the sun sets.”

“Fine.”

“I’ll make a deal with you.”

“What?” He was beginning to come across as overly defensive, though softened into a defeated sigh as you tried to compromise.

“Abigail gets angry at me, she don’t like how I do the dishes or clean clothes.” I rolled my eyes. “I’ll pro’lly try to help with the yard work. You can do more with less hassle.”

“I guess.” He shrugged.

“Weather forecasts think that it might rain sometime this week, means less work here, we can go to Owanjila.” He wasn’t too keen on it being babysat but he accepted it nonetheless.

“That’d be kinda nice...” He trailed off.

“We can do some fishin’ so they don’t think we’re bein lazy.” It was clear who the ‘they’ was in that sentence, which made him laugh in a silent exhale. “You can draw some of the scenery, set up a mini camp and just.. Have a day off. Hows that?”

“But—”

“Stop. You need to stop.”

“I’m bored!” He said, clearly agitated and exhausted. “I need something to do, ‘nd everyone jus’ wants me to rest but I gotta do somethin’ or I feel like shit.”

“I just suggested something.” I said sternly.

He looks around the dining area, chewing the inside of his cheek as he considers the idea. He sucked on his teeth slightly.

“Tch... Fine.” He admitted, like a defeated child.

There’s a long moment of silence, and you reach across the table to hold his hand. He continues to avoid eye contact, and his hand doesn’t hold yours back. 

Arthur’s voice is barely above a mumble; so sulky for a man so strong, or so he claims to be. Your eyes flickered between his gaze and him, waiting for him to speak. Arthur, desperate to look literally anywhere else, found himself staring at John’s taxidermied squirrel. If you didn’t know any better, one would probably assume he’s admiring the finest piece of art the 1900s has to offer. He seems to linger on the concept for a while, which worries you. You can’t help but wonder what’s going on in that mind of his.

The silence blares in your ears for a bit too long. Clearing his throat, Arthur looked you in the eyes.

“We’ll see how things go.”

[luneariaa]

✧ faciens certus.

✰ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : { ps5 } harry osborn x reader.

✰ 𝐰. 𝐜. : 1k+

✰ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : harry stays over your place for the night, and tries his best to convince you that he's alright.

✰ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : just pure fluff bc he deserves the world <33

. dividers by @/saradika-graphics !! 🏹

"Just your luck."

You simply said at the auburn-haired male, who just arrived at your place. He settled himself comfortably by the couch of your home, as it started to rain quite heavily outside, hitting every part of the window that's present.

"Gotta admit that I missed the rain. It's been heating up so badly lately." You handed him the glass of hot chocolate with a small smile.

Harry thanked you while grabbing the drink that you gave him, keeping his eyes on you even after he does so.

"Yeah, it feels nice, doesn't it? I mean, the rain makes it colder than usual, but still nice in its' own way."

You nodded a bit as you returned his occasional brief gazes, before shifting your eyes at the TV, which has lost its' signal due to the harsh weather outside, which prompted you to switch it off for now.

Harry gradually puts the glass of his now finished drink down on the table nearby, before letting his eyes stayed upon your standing figure. "Mind if I stay over for the night?"

"You're always welcome to stay here, Har."

An appreciative smile is plastered across his handsome face, deciding to walk toward your direction after bringing a chair along with him, placing it just next to yours. All while his gaze never once averted elsewhere.

"Mhm, you kept staring at me for the past few minutes."

"Got something in your mind?"

The auburn-haired male elicited a chuckle, now managing to fully catch your attention.

"Honestly?"

"I was just thinking, like, you know-- those old times where we used to spend our time with each other here, watching movies till the early hours of dawn.."

By this point, his eyes are shifted elsewhere as he continued further. "My illness, my dad sort of.. kept me away from meeting you before. Surely, there are valid reasons, but still.."

"It's just nice being able to see you again like this with no one else around."

"Ah, I get that." You leaned your back against the chair you're sitting on comfortably. "I missed you for that too."

"But.."

"Nothing's gonna happen to you after this, right..?" You don't know what has driven you to ask such a question since he is, well, already there looking all healthy and fine. You couldn't help yourself-- the deep fear of potentially losing him in any time scares you so much.

His smile gradually falters upon hearing your words; simply because he wasn't expecting that type of response from you-- not in a bad way though.

"You don't have to worry about me. Nothing's going to happen anytime soon. I've taken care of everything."

Harry tried his best to reassure you, yet deep down, he hated himself for a bit due to how much he worried you.

Maintaining his cheery demeanor, he forces himself to bury the feelings of guilt deep within him, knowing quite well that you have every right to feel this concerned over his wellbeing.

He doesn't want to be a liar, but he had to, for your sake. He cared about you too much to see you in this state.

Harry just.. wanted to be normal again, and he missed how things were between you two.

"Nothing's gonna stop that now, right?"

You eventually nodded it off, processing his words within your mind. "Yeah, you got a point."

"I'm sorry, I just.."

Any other thoughts are being shut out for now, his focus-- full of pure tenderness, is now completely on you.

"Hey, you don't have to apologize."

"Just please.. Don't worry about it anymore, okay? It makes me all sad seeing you this way about me. I appreciate you for that, always."

You eventually nodded, albeit wordlessly; not knowing what to say as a reply. Sensing the sudden slight of change, Harry finally decided to stand in front of you-- placing a finger gently beneath your chin.

"I'm fine, see?" He then grabs ahold of one of your hands while squeezing it lightly, which made you stand with him as well. The shared gazes lasted longer than necessary, but none of you cared much.

Just by the way your eyes looked up into his own; it's enough to make his heart race and melt at the same time. Dare he say-- you're so precious to him. He would shamelessly show it through his actions, even after all these years.

Even words couldn't be described with the way you gazed at him like that-- it's too much, yet never enough.

Slowly, and delicately, he guides your hand towards where his heart is; allowing you to feel the beat of his heart, and how he's very much alive to you.

He wouldn't lie, but he smiles so fondly, noticing on how his heart picks up just by the mere touch of your palm against his chest.

"Feel it as much you want."

"Isn't this nice?"

The warmth radiates from your hand alone, but you thought the opposite-- thinking that his heart and body are the ones who provide the most warmth. You needed this.

He's standing in front of you and alive. That's what matters.

A warm chuckle escaped from your lips, trying your best to stay composed since you started to feel a little giddy and silly.

"You're right.. This feels comforting."

All while letting his soft grip upon your hand stays, he now moves your hand from his chest, and onto his forehead. "You can-- I mean, check for my temperature as well, just to try convince yourself further, yeah?"

In truth, he just wanted to feel your touch for much longer, especially right at this moment. The rain outside was almost being forgotten.

Harry smiled over his own words; partly joking about it, but at the same time, he wasn't. You returned his actions with such ease, simply letting your hand stay upon his forehead for a bit longer.

You were being cautious as ever, as if not wanting to accidentally hurt him or anything in that way.

"You don't have to be so careful, you know," he remarks, finding your actions quite amusing to behold, to which you simply laughed it off.

"But I wanted to."

You did something that could be considered as bold afterwards; where you actually gave his cheek a small, yet sweet kiss. It's quite new, as you never had the courage to do something as such despite being friends for years.

"That should take all the remaining sickness away, hopefully."

As much as a sap you're being right now, you couldn't help yourself, especially when he keeps his gaze at you like that. He's just so.. You can't even resist him; feeling the urge to squish him if he was a plushie or anything akin to it.

It's just a kiss on the cheek, but why would he freeze and appear to be surprised by the sudden gesture? You're scared if you might have gotten too far with your actions--

But then, his expression is failing him once the reddish hue starts to form upon his cheeks, sharing a sweet and heartwarming laugh along with you.

Harry knows how much you cared for him; on how gentle you are with him. Even if the whole ordeal turns out to be a platonic one, he wouldn't mind the slightest, as long as you are within it.

@luneariaa. do not repost; reblogs are alright. all rights reserved.

[dorothy-rainbird]

Here part 2

“Y/n? Why does Bu look so depressed?”

Kuni poked at a purple blob in his picnic basket as he took a bite of his sandwich.

“What do you mean? He was fine a few days ago.” You answered from his lap. That’s right. You both are currently having a mid night picnic at Starsnatch Cliff. Eating sandwiches while laying on Kunikuzushi’s lap as he eats his own. The only problem is that Bu seemed sad about something, sitting inside the picnic basket and making sad squeals that sound like “sighs”.

You sat up from his lap and inspected the blob in the basket. Good lord it seems it’ll deflate like a balloon any second. Wonder what’s troubling Bu…

“Yeah but…he’s kinda off these days.”Kunikuzushi looked at Bu worried. He continued, “He doesn’t even go beyond the garden anymore. I don’t think it’s healthy for him to stay holed up in a limited space.”

“Is he sick or something?” You finished your sandwich and carefully picked Bu out of the basket. Instead of being a happy energetic blob, you were met with a sad little slime.

“Oh no…something IS wrong with him.”

______________________

Bu’s sad behaviour has now taken 2 days. He only likes to be in the garden and with his daddy. You’ve flipped through every book on slime illness but none helped. Kuni isn’t having it easier either. He is stressed to the point he ruins his sleep schedule. You wonder…Is he terrified of losing Bu? You wouldn’t lie that you were also scared if anything happened to him. There’s gotta be a reason he is so depressed. So, with another sip of coffee at 11pm, you began to flip through the books again. There’s gotta be something you misse-

???

You heard snores from the living room…

Slowly getting up from your seat and out of your room, you tip toed down the hall.

In the living room, was Kunikuzushi, hugging Bu and a small plant?? They are fast asleep on the couch with a huge messy pile of books surrounding them. You sighed. Quietly getting a blanket, you draped it over them and started cleaning the mess. Once satisfied with the result, you turned to leave when someone grabbed your wrist…

Kunikuzushi was holding it.

“Please don’t go…” he muttered half asleep.

After processing for a few seconds, you gave a small smile and gently used your free hand to caress his cheek. Your eyes wandered on Bu, and you gave the sleeping slime a soft pat. It gave a low squeal and cuddled closer to into its plant.

Sitting beside them, and without causing much disturbance, you guided your roommate to lean on you. He did so sleepily and snuggled into you with Bu and the plant still in his arms as you held them and fell into slumber yourself.

______________________

You woke up. Still on the couch? Yes. Cuddled with your family? No. Where are they?

Just when you thought of that question, you heard noises from the kitchen. Ah…right, they are probably in the kitchen.

You got up from the couch and stretched. Thank god it was a Sunday.

After washing up, you make your way across the hall (a familiar plant catching your sight sitting next to the window) and into the kitchen next door. You met Kuni making pancakes.

“Good morning” you wished him and plopped onto the counter. He looked at you and returned the greeting with a sad little smile. He’s still stressed. You huffed.

“Are you still worried about Bu?” You gently asked him. That remaining small smile of his fell as he hastily flipped a pancake.

“*sigh* Don’t worry, whatever it is, must have a reason. Trust your guardian buddy, we’ll fix the problem in no time!” You tried reassuring him which was replied by another sigh.

“I don’t know…he’s been like this for three days now. It’s pretty concerning. What if we don’t-“

“Oi Oi Oi! Don’t think any of those bad thoughts. You gotta stay strong and positive for him, okay?” You gave him a light bonk.

“Right…”

…..

“By the way why were you hugging a plant in your sleep last night?” Curiosity strikes again. Hold on is that Kuni or a tomato cuz god damn he is red in embarrassment.

“U-Uh…well…ahem, Bu really liked the plant and would whine if I tried to take him away from it…” he tried saying that with a straight face. Keyword: tried. His face was a red mess.

“So…you slept with the plant?” You raised an eyebrow and smirked. He only managed to squeak out a “yes”. ‘Why tf is he so cute?’ you mentally squeal over him.

Wait…speaking of plant where is the tiny blob who cuddled it?

“Kuni, where’s Bu?” You asked.

“Oh, he’s in the garden, probably digging into the soil again.” He chuckled. That’s right our electro slime likes to bury himself in the ground. What a weird little slime Kuni found….

“Pfft, cuddling plants? Burying himself in the ground? What is he? A dendro slime?” You joked as you approached the back door to the garden. Little did you know….

__________________

“Hey little buddy.” You greeted Bu. Kuni was right about him digging holes in the ground. Bu looked up to you from the small pit he was halfway in. He still had a sad look on his face but something was off…Without any squeaks of acknowledgment, he turned to the fence, staring at something.

You stopped in your tracks for a second.

“Everything good?” You tilted your head. No response….you wonder…

You crouched down to his level and tried to spot what he was looking at. Was there something wrong with the fence? Were the small doors for him to crawl in and out of the garden too small? You looked harder and then you realised that…he wasn’t staring at the fence. He was staring beyond it.

Squinting hard, you catch a glimpse of…Dendro slimes…? Now it was pure confusion. Why was he so gloomy at the sight of dendro slimes? Did they bully him whenever he went out?

The dots didn’t connect until Bu hopped out of his hole and approached the small pond in your garden. (Yes you have a pond in your garden fight me)

He stopped at the water and looked at his reflection and made a noise that sounded like a sigh.

Cuddling with plants…digging holes in garden….

Aaand the dots connected.

___________________

“Y/n! Bu! Breakfast is re-AAH“ Kunikuzushi was interrupted when the back door opened to loudly he jumped.

“I KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS!” you declared with Bu in your arms.

______________

“So let me get this straight…” Kuni sat in front of you and Bu on your lap, arms folded.

“Bu thinks he is a dendro slime.”

“Mhm”

“But he doesn’t look like one,”

“yep”

“And he gets insecure because of it.”

“Correcto!” You nodded.

There was silence for a moment.

“I mean...I guess it does explain his obsession with plants and distaste for those electro crystals…”

“It does!” You exclaimed.

…

Kunikuzushi picked up Bu from your lap and looked into his eyes.

……

“What are we going to do…?” He asked in a hush whisper.

You pondered for a moment and then…, an idea struck.

“Kuni you know how to sew right?”

“Yes but how will sewing help?”

“Okay so- hear me out..”

_____________One hour later…

“Bu~ we’re back!”

“Bu?”

Huh…where did he go?

“Y/n I don’t see Bu anywhere-“ kuni called as he looked under the cushion.

“Calm down he’s probably in the house somewhere. You can’t expect him to sit in one place for an hour.” You replied while checking under the table.

“Right”

“Bu! Where are you?”

“Come out little buddy we got a surprise for y- oh…Kuni I found him!” You saw the familiar blob nestled next to the same plant. The plant next to the window in the hall…

“Oh really? There you are!” Kunikuzushi stood next to you and saw his slime child snoozing away.

He chuckled.

________________

Bu woke up. His “antenna” feeling funny. He didn’t know what the reason was. It was mid afternoon now with the sky bright blue and for some reason he wanted to go out…

He started off by deciding to “hug” daddy first before leaving. He hopped off the window and made his way to the living room where his family was playing “chess” or whatever they called it. He stopped next to where his daddy was sitting and nuzzled against his leg. Kuni looked down on him and made a “surprised” gasp.

“Y/n look! Bu grew into a dendro slime in his sleep!” He giggled. Bu was confused now.

“Oh my! That is the prettiest dendro slime I’ve ever seen~” you played along.

Bu just stared. Did he finally grow into a dendro slime…? You got him a mirror and-

He was surprised at first, then began shaking with joy. He finally turned into a dendro slime!

You watched in amusement as he hopped around the round with loud squeaks and finally into Kuni’s arms where he got a nice hug.

“Who’s my little dendro slime? You are~” Kuni raised him high up and cooed at him.

“Congrats little buddy! Say, don’t you dendro slimes want to cuddle plants or something?” You raised a playful eyebrow at the slime while patting him. Plants…that seemed to hype him because he jumped out of Kuni’s arms, gave him and you a quick affectionate nuzzle and hopped his way to the garden.

“There, he’s back to normal now. Told ya you could trust your guardian buddy~” You grinned and elbowed him playfully.

“Nice sewing skills by the way. No way I could have made that flower petal acces-“ you paused.

Kunikuzushi was looking at you. Into your eyes. His eyes had pure admiration in them adorned by a small dreamy smile…

You chuckled and pat his head. “Come on dreamer boy, help me with drying the laundry.”

He snapped out of his admiration and replied with a sheepish smile. “Right!”

Here, part 4

@angryhope @hana-chie @twst-123 @depressed-bitchy-demon @milza12 @inlovewithwaffles @shizunxie @koi-chairowo @someone-with-wild-imagination @melodibells @franini @xiaosimper @kithewanderingme @tinykokomi @rinaxst @shizunxie @thetwinkims @mouchie @einnunnie @myahandhurts @arima26 @we-wo-we-wo @themistcherry @miss-tea-cza @etherisy @bigcandlesmolbrain @n8mareee @peachytears11 @esthelily @imyme20 @teal-clouds-sword @general-kuri @apyrose @campanula-rotundifolia @shoujishu @thebeanofdoom @mentallyunpresent @scaramouches-girlfriend @alicehasdrowned @genderfluid-insomniac @claymitch @night-shadowblood-writes2 @justakiro @valeriele3 @peter-the-pan @erosdevil @blockswon @missb00bs @a-single-pizza @that-boi-sus @gullantys @ekrii @astr4ray

[differenteagletragedy]

if requests are still open, i hope you don't mind writing some comfort headcanons for mc who's ill with olba boys (i'm down with covid again,, its making me kinda sad because its near the holidays). if you're not comfortable write these, its fine!! thank you for writing olba fics and works - they're like a source of comfort to read esp since the game is officially finished 🫶

I hope you feel better, friend!!!

-- Cove is doing the thing where he's freaking out but he's trying not to make this about him, but like he's REALLY freaking out. Especially if it's covid (I know covid isn't a thing in Our Life Land, but he would NOT be well in 2020, or for a while after).

-- He's not concerned in the least that he'll catch it. He'll wear a mask if you ask, but he's more concerned about taking care of you. Literally tell him anything you need and he'll get it/do it. If you feel up to it, you can get some good laughs this way.

-- Gets one of those thermometers that you can just hover over a forehead to check someone's temperature, checks yours constantly, even (especially) while you're sleeping.

-- If you still live at home or nearby, he's having your moms and/or Cliff cook for you. He can heat up some soup, but he's going to be asking for the good stuff for you. If you don't live nearby, he's going to have to get something delivered.

Cove: *barely paying attention to his phone while checking your temperature for the umpteenth time that day* Hey Siri, DoorDash soup.

Siri: I'm sorry, I --

Cove *throws phone out the window*

-- Cove will take care of you diligently with sort of a panicked undertone. Derek will be just as diligent, but as a certified third parent to two baby brothers, this isn't his first rodeo.

-- Guy actually has a notepad on the counter that he's using to monitor your symptoms.

-- He picked up one of those little oxygen sensors too, you know what I mean? Like the little things they put on your finger at the doctor to check your oxygen levels (science). You can get them for your own person use too, and he grabbed one at the pharmacy when he was picking up supplies.

-- If he has to take you to get medical care, he is going to present as calm and collected because he knows that acting like the scared little lovesick boy he is on the inside isn't going to help anything, and he's an expert about pushing his feelings down anyway, so he's had practice!

Nurse: *after listening to Derek give a summary of your symptoms* Wow, you really know your stuff! Are you in healthcare?

Derek: No, this is just who I am as a person.

-- Baxter is a little bit of a mix between the two! He'll pretend to be calm, it's no big deal, you're just sick, you'll be fine. But on the inside, he's giving Clingy Cove a run for his money.

-- Do you guys have those nurse lines where you can call and talk to a nurse and they'll tell you what they advise you to do? Yeah, they get on a first name basis with Baxter during this.

-- He's not sleeping until he's certain you're going to be ok. If you're good and sick for a few days, you are going to have an absolutely unhinged nursemaid looking after you.

You: Baxter, you can go to bed, seriously, it's fine.

Baxter: *dark circles under his eyes, hair a mess, he threw on one of your t-shirts because he stopped being able to work buttons after being awake for so long, he looks absolutely feral and not even remotely in a hot way* I'm all right, darling! Don't worry about me!

-- Will cook for you, is cleaning up everything while you sleep, work can wait. This boy is ANXIOUS, again, especially if its covid. Maybe you might have to have a talk about it when you get to feeling better!

[rndmmarston]

Doc Holliday X F/Reader

Im Back…AGAIN

Warnings-None(I don’t think)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/Ns Pov

It was a Nice Morning In Tombstone,Hot like usual, Doc Was sitting outside leaned back with his feet Propped up on a chair at the Barber, I walked over to him “Morning” I said as I sat next to him “Morning Darlin’” he said with his eyes closed looking very Relaxed.

I leaned back into my chair and watched the people walk up and down the street, I seen in the Distance Wyatt, Virgil and Morgan, as they were walking,Ringo,One of the cowboys, Came out of the saloon looking very drunk and looking to start trouble, “Well what do we have here…” he said with a slight Slur “What do want Ringo?” Virgil said Putting his hand on his Revolver “I want your blood, and i want your souls and i want them both right now” He said slightly Stumbling over, I stood up and leaned against the railing watching them, After the O.K Corral shoot out things were not going well between the Earp’s and the Cowboys, I looked over at Doc he was still leaning back, now he had pulled his hat down over his face, i guess to keep the sun out of his eyes, “Oh Look who we have over here~” I looked over to realize Ringo was talking to me “Leave her out of this…” Wyatt said stepping forward, Ringo just smiled “Now see, with out your lover here…You ain’t nothing without him…” I just stayed quiet, I seen in the corner of my eye Doc had put his hand over his Gun…He’s listening… “You know…Why are you with him anyways?” he asked me with slurred words “Why are you with a Lunger? Ya know he is gonna die soon…” He said with a Smirk… “Ya know its sad how he isn’t here to protect you…” He said with a smirk

“Just leave her Alone Ringo…” Wyatt said Getting Ringo attentions, As Ringo was looking at Wyatt Doc Stood up and Put his Gun behind his back, He Whistled getting Ringo’s Attention, Ringo’s eyes Widened when he seen him “Ive been here the whole time…” Doc said stepping down “Go to hell…Ill put ya out of your Misery-“ “Say when” Then Curly bill and A few other cowboys came out of the Saloon, As soon as Ringo went to for Doc he got pulled back by the cowboys “Don’t mind him he’s just drunk thats all!” Curly bill said while laughing.

“gentlemen” Doc tipped his hat at the Earp’s and Walked back over to the Barber, I stood there leaning against the railing, He came up to me wrapping his arm around my waist “You Okay Darlin’?” “yeah…Im fine…” “Its okay…Im here to protect you…Don’t listen to anything he says to you…” He says with a slight smile “I wont…Thanks” I said as I leaned up and kisses his cheek.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N- This is a Short story…Its Currently 2:45 Where i am so its not the best i know, Sorry i dont ever post on here <3

•Requests~Open•

[sunnygrey99]

~Trigger Warning: Typical TLOU warnings. Self Harm, suicidal tendencies, severe mental illness, PTSD (minors DNI) If any other Triggers apply please let me know.~

Story Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Violence, Murder, Death, Smut

A/N: Just another reminder please if you are suffering or need help Tumblr offers resources that can really help.

Wordcount: 2,094

Summary: Plus size!Reader is a Beekeeper and Medical Scientist living in Jackson. A simple meeting of a new friend slowly becomes so much more. Reader is immune. Reader is given a nickname. (This fic will have very dark tones though out. This deals with the unfortunate reality that men do disgusting things to women regardless of the world having ended. All chapters will include warnings and tag warnings. Please take care in reading.)

Hushed tones of a familiar voice pulls you from your deep slumber. Frozen to your spot your ears slowly start to pick up more of what the young girl is saying. “Do you think she’ll do it again?”Another female voice speaks in a soft tone, “I’m not sure. She hasn’t had an episode like this one before. It was different than the last time.” The other voice chimed in again quickly. “Last time? What happened last time?” “Well she doesn’t like us talking about it but last time she was outside the walls…” The woman’s voice cracks slightly. “Look I can’t talk about it. Just know there is a reason she isn’t on the patrol rotation and its not just because we need her here in town.”

A more masculine voice pulls your attention, “Is there anything we can do to keep this from happening again?” He sounded almost angry, and when the woman whispers out a tired “I don’t know” He grunts in return.

You try your hardest to force yourself to open your eyes, tell them it won’t happen again. You know you can’t though. No matter how much you wanted it to be true it would never be a guarantee. Slowly the voices dull back into a muffled lullaby as you fall back into unconsciousness.

It feels like only minutes later you hear a soft shuffling noise next to you. Your eyes slowly blink open, perfectly in view is Ellie and Joel. Ellie dealing out cards between Joel and herself. The smallest smile graces her lips as she lays out the first card. Joel placing his down and swiping the pile as he chuckles at the girl. “Why are you always so sure you are gonna beat me.”

They each put another card down this time Ellie swiping the cards to her side, “Because I will.”

You watch for the next ten minutes as the two go back and forth until Ellie snags the last card up for herself. She excitedly cheers and throws the last of her hand down. “And that Joel…It how you win at war.”

“Yeah with pure luck kiddo.” He chuckles at the indignant expression she dawns. You can’t help the giggle that comes out of your own mouth, however the sudden pain in your abdomen has you sucking in a hiss. You hear two chairs screech across the floor as you clutch gently at the affected area.

“Hey now take it easy.” Joel’s large hands find their way to your hand and shoulder. Instantly grounding you back into reality.

You feel both Ellie and Joel’s hands resting yours. Its a calming enough feeling to pull your attention back to them. Confusion written all over your own face as you take in the concerned look carried by the other two. Your eyes flicking between them then back to yourself laying in the hospital bed. You take a moment to soak in your surroundings before looking back to Joel. “What happened? Is…Is everyone else okay?”

Joel and Ellie’s features soften to a sadness that you hadn’t seen on either of them, almost bordering on pity. He turns to Ellie for only a moment whispering to her. Her tense shoulders drop and she scuffs. “Fine.” She turns her attention back to you and gives your hand another squeeze, “I’ll be back Bunny, I’m gonna let Maria and Tommy know you are awake”

You nod to her and squeeze her hand back as well as possible with Joel’s still covering your’s and Ellie’s. You watch as she leaves still confused as to what happened. Finally you remember the warmth of the other hand covering yours and the heavy weight of another on your shoulder, his thumb rubbing slightly in an attempt to comfort. Looking back up to Joel you see the same sad look still glued to his features yet an underlining anger in his eyes.

He sucks in a breath before stepping away and sliding a chair back over to the side of the bed so he can sit. “What is the last thing you remember?”

You immediately miss the warmth of his comforting touch on your skin. You look back up to the ceiling trying to think back to the last thing you remembered. It took a moment of hazy thought, “We were all sat eating at my dining room table. Ellie, Tommy, and Maria were there too.” You chuckled lightly at the thought of what happened after. “Tommy was telling us about how when you were little you use to pretend to be a country star and you’d make Tommy play plastic pales as drums. It was really sweet.” Letting your head fall to the side and look back to Joel. The furrow in his brow deep set. His eyes lock onto yours.

“Bunny that was over four weeks ago. You’ve only been out for a couple days.” His words sink quickly in and a heavy weight sets in your chest.

Heat blooms in your eyes as burning tears start pouring from them. A quiet no falling from your own lips. “Joel…” Your quiet call ensures his tense gaze stays locked on yours. “…please tell me…I didn’t hurt anyone…right?”

His hand quick to reach out to yours again. “You didn’t hurt anyone” He reaches his other hand out lightly wiping away the stinging tears on your cheeks. His hand then settling on your forehead as he brushes back a few hairs. “You stopped yourself before that could happen.” He nods down to your abdomen that was currently covered by a familiar blanket. Dark greens and creams that made you forget for just a second that you were in the clinic, however reality came back to you quickly as you looked back to Joel.

A thousand questions running through your mind. “Who found me? Was I…was I already…” You sucked in a breath clearly overwhelmed by the new information.

Joel takes that as a cue to squeeze your hand again and answer what he can. “I found you. Maria, Tommy and the Doc were waitin’ outside. You weren’t really you right then. You seemed real scared, throwing things and ya had a knife in your hand. After a few you calmed down and I tried to take the knife from you. Must have pushed a wrong button because not even a minute later you were on the ground bleedin’ out.” He pauses for a moment hoping he can keep the retelling at a minimum. He doesn’t seem to want to be talking about it either.

You nod and squeeze his hand back, fresh tears flowing down your face. “I’m so sorry Joel. I never wanted anyone to see that part of me again.”

“You ain’t got nothing to apologize for. Doc said its some sort of PTSD. There’s no controlling that, but you aren’t alone Bunny.” His eyes soften the anger replaced completely but something else you can’t quite read. His hand on your forehead moving to wipe away the tears again. “I can’t fix that but I sure can try to help.”

His hand finally rests cupping your cheek with a thumb gently rubbing the warm skin. You feel yourself press further into his gentle touch. Never would you have thought that a man like him could be so gentle and kind to another. It feels as if time stops as you look up to Joel’s eyes in that moment. The whole world melting away with his promise.

Quickly the two of you are reminded of the rest of the world as a knock comes at the door before it opens. Maria, Tommy, and Ellie all filing in and around the bed. Joel having already pulled back gets up and offers his chair to Maria. She gratefully accepts and slowly eases into the chair. Her attention immediately back on you. Her hand quickly meeting yours. Her warmth replacing what was left by Joel.

The next few hours are spent by everyone filling you in on the last four weeks trying to keep things light. You feel the weight that had been settled in your chest slowly ease up over the time they spend there. The Doc coming in near the end of the visit to take your vitals and check in with you before he pulls Maria and Joel to speak in his office. While you find that odd you focus on the current story Ellie is telling you about school and her new friend’s shenanigans.

~~~

Joel is on high alert as he stands by the door in Doctor Hector Grimm’s office. The doctor sitting in his chair while Maria sat across him in the old upholstered chairs. He pulls out a stack of files and lets out a harsh sigh as he looks between Joel and Maria. “I know you both have been through a lot in the last few days. Bunny surviving that wound was nothing short of a miracle and it almost has me questioning if there really is a god. Now that being said her previous diagnosis should have been given a more strict treatment plan. There is no easy way to say this. I believe Bunny needs full time care. She cannot live alone anymore.”

Joel feels himself tense. He had no idea you had been so badly affected by your ailment. Maria scoots forward more in her chair. “What? What do you mean? She can still function and take care of herself. We just need to get her some medication and get her to talk to someone.”

Dr. Grimm shakes his head, “I’m sorry Maria it doesn’t work like that, not anymore. This is an incredibly rare manifestation of CPTSD. For her to be having suicidal tendencies brought on by visual and auditory hallucinations is extreme even by old world standards. If we were still in the old world they’d have her committed to a full time care facility. We don’t have that luxury-”

“Luxury?” Maria stands and slams a hand on his desk. Joel stands up straight and uncrosses his arms at the sudden rise in tension. “This is Bunny we are talking about not a damn dog.”

His hands go up in defense as he moves back, “I’m not trying to offend, I am just trying to be realistic about her treatment options. This is the only option I can see without her ending up right back here every 3 to 6 months.”

Maria sighs and sits back down. “I can have her move in with me and Tommy when she is released.”

“I can’t let you do that either. You are about to have a baby in the house. That is already going to be stressful for you not to mention it could be a stress trigger for her.” He leans back and crosses his own arms. “Its gotta be someone she knows and can be there over nights. Maybe not necessary 24/7 but at least the majority of the time.”

“She doesn’t know that many people at all and you know how much she values her solitude.” Maria plops back further in her seat in exasperation.

Joel takes a few moments to soak up all the new information. He takes a step forward. “Ellie and I can do it. That way if I’m not there at least Ellie is.”

Maria looks over at Joel “Are you sure you’d want to do that?”

He nods before looking back to the Doctor. “How long are we talkin’?”

Grimm sighs before looking at the file in front of him. “Recovery like this can take a lifetime. She may not need it permanently but we should operate under the assumption it will be. This is more than just CPTSD so once we get the rest of the treatment plan figured out her condition will be a lot more manageable on her own. This is simply a precaution.”

They all agreed then on the course of action. Joel and Ellie will move in with Bunny. That way she is in familiar surroundings with people who are able to help before she gets to the point she was a couple days ago. Dr. Grimm going over how to effectively talk her down in the event she loses grip on reality. After all was said and done Maria went to break the news to Bunny and Joel went to Bunny’s to finish cleaning up the home so she didn’t have to look at the remnants of her breakdown. It was going to be an adjustment process for sure.

Part 5 Coming Soon

If you would like to be tagged in my works please feel free to message me and let me know who/what fandoms you’d like to be tagged in. I plan to write for at least The Walking Dead, Shameless(US), Marvel(MCU and Comics), DC(All), Teen Wolf and The Last of Us

Tag list <3

@gwendibleywrites

[penguin--rat]

Please tell us about the thoughts on patho! Sanya and patho! Yura. Please

of course, thank you for the ask!! i will preface this by saying that these roles might (and are likely to) change, like the bachelors role did - and that thats ok!! this is all just for fun <3 and i also want to say that im gonna alter the world of patho a bit, which, i think is also fine, since its an au !! fun times:) thoughts under cut

so, i'll talk about yura and arthur, then sanya (and sergei, sorta), and then them as a trio/duo.

patho!yura takes on the role of andrey stamatin. its a bit odd, but it fits. i changed yuras pants because i dont like andreys pants. its as simple as that. yura, like bachelor!dmitry and patho!arthur is from the capital. he studied with arthur and all that. young geniuses, you could say. though they haven't worked on as many architectual structures as the canon stamatins have, the few that they Have worked on are well known! whether or not they're liked is a whole different story. i wasn't sure who to put as the stamatin brothers, really, as the only brothers in pafl are nikita and kolya, i think? or tsar and arthur, sorta, iirc ferrys said a time or two that they think of each other as brothers or something like that. but! nikita and kolya will have.. different roles.. and tsar doesnt strike me as an an andrey nor a peter... so !! yura beletsky and arthur sokolov (his surname was in that one character sheet) are. the. umm. i dont know what their name would be but i think they're 'partners' - or at least, yura calls them that. (because of their colleague status, of course, since they work together so much. they can be gay too i guess. sigh. long live yaoi) yuras personality is pretty much the same as in canon, but hes a bit. hm. well, id say he acts like he's better than you, but hes just overcompensating. still very sad and depressed and all that.

arthur in this.. he's more depressed than angry in this one. i dont know. i havent thought of him all that much, truly and also !! youve only asked me for my thoughts on sanya and yura !! not arthur !! i dont have to tell you anything.... i WILL one day. believe me. but only when i have better thoughts

sanya! as you may have noticed, she's still albino in this au.. and, heres where my lack of knowledge on town on gorkhon comes into play !! so ! imagine that the steppe is like, zone-esque, or something. again, this au is just for fun, and though i Do think about it a lot, i dont think about it enough for me to have coherent thoughts. so! sanya. the townsfolk, i think, claimed she must be related to the worms in some way since shes an Albino and Strange and Defiant and a Rebel. so i think that at some point they started making that worm connection as an 'explanation' for her behaviour. so. i think, at a young age, rather young age, her father (and sergei sorta, i guess? but hed have been .. in his teens at the time, at least.. and since sanyas mom dies in childbirth no matter if shes a mutant or not, shes dead in this, too) sorta sent her to the cemetery. sanya is grace <3 she hangs around and maintains the cemetery a lot. its better than dealing with judgement and such. at first, at least. when shes a kid. soon she starts getting lonely, wishes to engage in society, to make friends, but, well. town on gorkhon is a small town. im sure she has some friends, though. 'friends'. maybe the little kids in the town and the like, yeah? maybe the kid gang? but i doubt shes close with them in any way. this is the first iteration of patho!sanya that i like in any way. its possible, likely, that ill change this, some of it at least, but! this is how it is for now.

during patho's main events, the stamatin brothers have already been in town for a few years. in this au, the architect bros are in town for 2 years before the plague breaks out. during those 2 years, sanya comes to 'admire' yura. envies his way of life. maybe they hang out a bit... since sergei is away studying to become a surgeon, he wouldn't be there to spoil their friendship - but, he also wouldnt be there to introduce them in the first place. .. but also, just bc sanya spends most of her time maintaining the cemetery and such doesnt mean she never goes out to town, for shopping and such, maybe. so. i think they start hanging out. not a lot. yura thinks shes a bit lame maybe. cringe. but, they start hanging out!! i thinkkk . ivan could be bad grief if i dont find anyone else. so, i think, sanya would get to meet him, too, and therefore also yana. shes not all that close with them, but, she does think theyre cool... and the gang thinks shes fine. shes there!! yana still thinks of her as "baby", arthur still thinks of her as "why are you even here", yura still thinks of her as "heheheheehhehe wont stop teasing you".. idk where tsar comes in but hes also "you are alright!!!"... only diference is. she doesnt fight all that much with ivan:( so sad

a lot of this is just incorehent thoughts ! but thats all i can muster up at the moment.. hope its enough !! and if its not !! my askbox is always open:D ask whatever whenever 👍

looks left looks right. ferry if you see this im sorry for doing cocomelon shit to your ocs..

[that-bitch-kat3]

kats initial ttpd thoughts

fortnight:

stand out lines: i took the miracle move on drug, the effects were temporary

i like this one. i don’t think it’s my favorite (or i hope it won’t be) but i think the production does do it for me. i was honestly hoping that “i love you it’s ruining my life” would have been in a… better (?) song. this will undoubtedly grow on me but not a great start.

ttpd:

standout lyric: “i’ve seen this episode and still loved the show”

okay “who uses typewriters anyways” is objectively a really funny line. “i’ve seen this episode and still loved the show” im screaming crying and throwing up how dare you put that lyric in a song i have to listen to.

on a different note who tf are dylan thomas and patti smith? am i meant to know these people?

oh my god. the way charlie puth is about to have his career explode. this poor man. i hope he was warned.

CYCLONE!! CONEY ISLAND!!!

oh i like this bridge. also lucy as in lucy dacus?

i’m trying not to be a hater but taylor “now you hang from my lips like the gardens of babylon” couldn’t have come up with a more poetic way to say you put my ring on the finger where people put wedding rings? fr? is this about marty healy? i hope to god it’s not.

mbobhft:

stand out lyrics: “once i fix me he’s gonna miss me” and “there was forever in the heat of my touch, he say forever so he smashed it up”

i was ready to not like this one but im kinda into it. the line “i’ll tell you that he runs because he loves me” is… not something i am ready to unpack. this is a really good song and i will probs have it on repeat for a while but i stg if i don’t hear a song about joe soon im gonna be pissed

down bad:

standout lyric: jury’s still out

this song was not written by a 33 year old. jesus christ. taylor please. STAND UP. THIS IS BAD FOR THE BRAND!! however as a 19 year old: real af.

you loved his indecent exposures? interesting.

this is once again giving situationship. which is insane because JOE WAS HERE FOR 6 YEARS?!? WE DONT GET TO HEAR ABOUT THAT?!? i mean like she is entitled to her privacy but never in my life did i want to hear this much about marty healy

so long london:

stand out lyric: “i didn’t opt in to be your odd man out. i founded the club she’s heard great things about” “you sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days”

not the production i was expecting from a track 5 but ill keep and open mind.

fairy lights mentioned!! ttpd bingo moment

i like this bridge tbh. it kinda fucks. “you swore that you loved me but where were the clues” taylor wtf?

two graves one gun?!? oh wow! very melodramatic and i love it

this song is good. very sad so great job! killed it! i’m not crying yet tho

but daddy i love him:

stand out lyrics: Growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all

HEYY RELIGOUS TRAUMA VIBES?!? FUCK YEAH!! FINALLY SOME GOOD RELATEBLE CONTENT!!

this is so champagne problems vibes

“im having his baby! no im not but you should see your face” BAHHAHA taylor wtf

i was hoping for more religious trauma energy than what i got. i had high hopes with that first verse

OMG WHAT?!? MAAM?!? “ID RATHER BURN MY WHOLE LIFE DOWN THAN LISTEN TO ONE MORE SECOND OF ALL THIS BITCHIN AND MOANIN” GIRLY YOUR “BABY” IS ANTISEMEIC?

okay this song is now just funny to me. deeply i would’ve kept this one in the vault but it’ll grow on me

fresh out the slammer:

stand out lyric: n/a

we are starting with the lowest of standards for the record. i do not have a good vibe from this song

its fine. liek it’s not revolutionary to me. like its okay but… why does this beat change like that and did the long prison metaphor help? i think not.

however yeah bring up that he didn’t propose again. love that for you

florida!!!

stand out lyric: well me and my ghost we had a hell of a time

!! what!! “they said i was a cheat so i guess i must be” ARENT YOU THE ONE WHO WRITE IVY AND HIGH INFEDELITY?!? WHAT?!? i am giggling so hard. taylor what are you saying?!?

this song reminded how much i love florence! i mean that woman can really sing

nbnc reference! that was not on my bingo card!

texas mentioned!! slay!!

i love this song. like i fr really like this one. the drums are a bit much but i love how their voices work together! delicious

guilty as sin?

standout lyric: “there no such thing as bad thoughts. only your actions talk” “i keep recalling things we never did”

i like how this one sounds

this song is really good! and bestie i get it! yikes!

this song is really for the girlies who make up fake scenarios to hurt their own feelings and i feel seen

false god references(?)

well terrible job everyone that was a bit too relatable! thanks! i’m going to throw up! or scream! or cry!

who’s afraid of little old me?

standout lyric: “you don’t get to tell me about sad” “is it a wonder i broke let’s hear one more joke” “you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me”

yay!! she’s doing witchcraft again!! thank god!! levitate queen!!

you should be afraid of little old me was not what i was expecting from this song! but i like it! also i am enjoying this production

“so tell me everything isnt about me but what if it is?” HAHAHH TAYLOR WHAT IS THIS?!?

no taylro they say that you’ll sue them they prublish public information about your plane! so close tho!

jokes aside i like this! this one’s gonna be in my tops i think! it reminds me of tlgad which is one love

i can fix him (no really i can)

standout lyric: “he had a halo of the highest grade, he just hasn’t met me yet”

texas mentioned again!! a win is a win

another song about matty healy?!? must we?!? are we sure? this is proof that any relationship pain is overshadowed by a 3 month situationship

loml: “better safe than starry eyed”

mmm im liking this one!

damn marriage is brought up a lot in the album for someone who wrote lavendar haze

i like that there is the love of my life to loss of my life switch! i was worried she abrievated that for no reason

still alive, killing time at the cemetery is a great line!!

!!! oh!! i wish i could unrecall how we almost had it all! i didn’t think i would like that lyric!! i in fact do.

icdiwabh:

standout lyric: “babe you gotta fake it till you make it and you did”

THIS SONG IS SO GOOD!! OH SHIT

okay now this is my shit. i like how she’s taking about her success and shit

i cry a lot but i am so productive it’s an art is so real

“try and come for my job” yikes.

the smallest man who every lived

standout lyric: “i would’ve died for your sins but i died inside”

this one isn’t doing it for me so far. i’m sure it’ll grow on me but idk it’s not killing it for me.

DID SHE JUST CALL HIS DICK SMALL?!? HELLO?!? good lord i hope that’s what that meant

“you kicked out the stage lights but your still preforming?!?” GOOD LORD TAYLOR! it’s so jover

The alchemy:

standout lyric: “he jokes that it’s heroin but this time with an E”

i had to listen to this song twice cause i could just not lay attention

AYO ITS TRAVIS!! god the next album is gonna have so many football metaphors that i will not understand

this is really cute! i’m on team trayvis

clara bow:

standout lyric: promise to be dazzling

cool! now i’m sad!

as a girl who tries to be something exciting but feels like she never gets there this is very yikes! greta job gang

DID SHE JUST SAY HER OWN NAME?!? SHE NEVER DONE THAT

OH MY GOD

YOUVE GOT EDGE SHE NEVER DID

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

the black dog:

standout lyric:

i am scared!

oh shit! who cheated on taylor?!?

oh wait. maybe that’s not true

i love old habits die screaming! tahts a funky line. i know we already had it but im a fan

!! hoax reference!!

!!daylight reference!!

oh joe. that poor man. they’re gonna kill him.

this is putting a sad spin on some of my fav songs so that’s cool

imgonnagetyouback:

standout lyric: “pick your poison babe, i’m poison either way”

did we need to do this in one word

OH MY GOD

SHE MAKING THE SAME THING AS GET HIM BACK BY OLIVIA RODRGIO

now i personally would’ve rewritten this one or picked a different song but this is a choice

this is a worse versions of get him back! imo

eras fading to gray is a crazy line!

the albatross:

standout lyric: “the devil you know now looks more like and angel”

this is kinda giving cowboy like me vibes but with more unnecessary vocal effects but that does in fact mean that i like it

peace reference?!

idk im into this one i think

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus:

standout lyric: all of them <3

my god this is a long title

oh my god. did she just out joe alywn? what? that can’t be what just happened

“you needed me but you needed drugs more” IM THROWING UP HOW DARE YOU

nobody touch me

“if you want to break my cold cold heart, just say i loved you. the way that you were” okay so now i am crying! hey! tahts cool! in other news put me on watch

this is one of my tops

you can tell cause i’m depressed now

maroon reference!!

okay so i will never recover congrats everyone!

how did it end?

standout lyric: “we learned the right steps to different dances”

i feel invasive listening to this. i didn’t want to hear about matty anymore but this is a lot.

this song is good but sweet lord. this is really sad. which i should’ve guessed but this is not what i was expecting

“D-Y-I-N-G” that was not how i thought that line was gonna end

so high school:

standout lyric: idk man they’re all cute

is this another one about travis?!? yay!!

awww she want to marry him! that’s so exciting!! and also maybe kill him but we do what we can

this is really cute

i’m glad she got this back! cause this is giving very fearless vibes which is perfect! i love that! i love that she’s having the sweet love again! and i’m so glad im not listening about matty! cause that man if the gift that won’t stop giving. no matter what i do. he just won’t.

i hate it here:

standout lyric: “No mid-sized city hopes and small-town fears” “when they found a better planet only the gentle survive”

second time bringing up being a precocious child! not something i thought we would get twice!

this song feels like it’s right off folklore

GIRL WHAT!?! “I'd say the 1830s but without all the racists and getting married off for the highest bid” this is why no one wanted to play with you as a little kid

oh yikes now i’m relating

“i get lost on purpose. this place made me feel worthless” crying in the club once again

she really had to fight not to call him a finance bro

thank you aimee

stand out lyric: “Everyone knows that my mother is a saintly woman but she used to say she wished that you were dead”

go to jail just for the capitalization

i feel like im missing something

is amiee real? is she a metaphor? is it someone from the rep era? i’m lost

if this is 15 year old beef that is amazing.

“there wouldn’t be this if there hadn’t been you” oh lol that’s so funny.

thank god taylor changed the name! cause otherwise they would kill her!

“and one day your kid comes home singing a song that only us two is gonna know so about you” oh that’s so good. you see i like taylor better when she’s being petty over decade old shit. it makes her more relatable

i look in peoples windows

stand out lyric: “i’m afflicted by the not knowing” “im addicted to the if only”

i love this.

is this the new shortest song in her discography? it’s gotta be. it’s like 2 minutes long

anyways. relatable. killin it

the prophecy:

stand out lyric: “Don't want money just someone who wants my company”

finally a song i can relate to! you know cause im psychic?

“I guess a lesser woman would've lost hope a greater woman wouldn't beg” yikes

oh no. i’m gonna cry. you see now im reminded of why i feel like im never enough. so cool 🤙

witchcraft again!! yay!!

what is gray-ge? gray/beige? was that already a word?

cassandra:

standout lyric: “what does kill you makes you aware. what happens if it becomes who you are”

bffr taylor does not patch cracks in her house

sorry i know tahts a metaphor, allow me to start by being less of a hater

oh i love a call back to the 2016 era. yikes

“BLOODS THICK BUT NOTHING LIKE A PAYROLL” HOLY FUCK WHAT?!?

“when its burn the bitch they’re shrieking, when the truth comes out they’re quiet” lol relatable

peter:

standout lyric: “we both did the best we could do underneath the name moon in different galaxies”

who is peter? very excting!

oh it’s peter pan! that’s cute!

is this about joe? i’m confused? i have no idea who this is about

i liek the piano! i like this more stripped back version

great bridge!

“cause love's never lost when perspective is earned” HEY BRO WHAT

the bolter: “she was leaving it felt like breathing”

standout lyric:

omg hey she wrote a song about me! jk it just started idk what this is

oh no

i cant do this right now

okay so no comment but yeah very relatable! cool! (except i’m not really a bolter now that i think about it. i just think i am. i’m actually not a quitter. im a stick with it person even when maybe i should bolt.)

robin:

stand out lyric: “you have no room in your head for regrets”

i like these a lot better than the first part of this album. i actually can’t tell if it’s a double release or not but i just like these more emotional songs more.

is she singing to her child self?!? is that what happening?!?

crying again.

the manuscript:

stand out lyric: looking backward might be the only way to move forward

my god this is a lot of songs! not complaining but i’m tired

okay i like the piano

“He said that if the sex was half as good as the conversation was soon they’d be pushing strollers” FUCKING HELLo?!? well now i’m in pain slay

this was not what i was expecting at all but let it be known i am crying and im not okay

this song really fucked me up guys