#but then that means having 2 very similar dolls in my collection...

[shadowmoses]

ohhgĝhh. why was I cursed with being so indecisive

[exsqueezememacaroni]

ANSWERS ANSWERS ANSWERS

Preface: Mike's answers were received as an audio recording and I've transcribed them here to the best of my abilities - he reads the questions out loud, which i don't include. He's jovial and snarky AF in his answers, which might fall a little flat in text. "Source's" followup answers were in text and copy-pasted, they're a lot more sincere. I've decided to post all answers in full...you might be surprised by them and you can take them how you like, but don't shoot the delivery person (me) or the messenger (the Source).

Ok, here they are: question, Mike's answer, Source's answer [my commentary]

whens the mexico tour mike? do you hate mexicans mike?

(joking on that last one ofc xd)

There are a lot of tours happening. You're gonna have to be more specific. A better question is: when will my tacos be ready?

I'll expand on this one. He is very close to signing off on a small tour with one of his bands. He is also trying very hard to find a way to reschedule the one he had to cancel, but the logistics is making it hard. He is trying to keep his touring to 3 weeks out max and 2 months home. Which is hard to do with his bigger band.

do you still have toodles the baby doll, the one you had in 92'-93'? do have any other antique items similar to toodles? if so, what are your favorites?

Wait, we need a visual for this story, hold on [Mike and the Source giggle, I don't know what happens here edit: this probably when the toodles/hippo/pig video was recorded]...let's see, what's next...mmm...yeah....nope...pass

He has a few antique items. Like a shrunken skull and a medical amputation kit from the 1700s.

roddy, somewhat recently like a few months ago, in an instagram live did a qna and someone asked him what he thought about trey and he told a story about him having a ball of straight boogers that he collected his boogers in and i just wanna ask if that is true or not because that is a insane story if it actually did happen

....booger ball? HAHA ok...hmmm? Well where do you put your boogers in huh??? Do you eat them? put 'em in your stomach? [Source: "eww"] That ball sounds pretty good about now, right?hahahahh

Mike knows nothing about this. It doesn't sound to me like something Trey would do now. Who knows what he did when he was younger though.

What does Mike think about his fans?

What do i think about my fans....well...if I'm being honest? I question their mental health...HAHA...sorry...I didn't mean to! [Source: "MIKE!"] I kid, I kid....I'm very grateful...to all ten of them....[chuckle]

He is truly grateful for them. Some also scare him a little.

What was the best prank Mike pulled on tour??

....I would ask Crain or Pearson... [Source has a big laugh]

With Dead Cross. He had arranged for the police to pull over their van while touring in Texas. The officer was a fan and Mike had him "plant" drugs and a gun in the car. Dave knew what was happening but Justin and Mike were freaking out. They were handcuffed and laying in the dirt when they found out it was all a joke.

Who has a nicer butt? Mike or Trevor?

Again, you're gonna have to elaborate on that one....I mean, which Mike? I can't POSSIBLY be expected to answer the question without knowing...hahaha

Mike gets my vote. He has a great butt.

Is there a lyric to a song Mike wrote that was so unhinged that he thought it was better to keep to himself?

Ya, the answer is nope.

So many choices, but he doesn't do regrets. I will tell you that the bullshit he spins about his Faith No More lyrics being random and impersonal, is just that. Bullshit. A good number of those lyrics are highly personal. Furthermore, quite a few of these songs when woven together tell a very personal story. You will NEVER get him to admit this though.

What is Mike's sexual orientation?

Hehe - you wanna take that one [source]? [Source: eehhhuuummmmmmmmm....no...no I'm good]

I feel like if I answer this, there will be a lot of disappointed people. I'll just say he had a wife, he has a girlfriend. You do the math.

Were Mike and Trevor ever a thing?

Sure....in his fucking wet dreams....hahahahah

Yes, they were and are “friends” Seriously though, not that I am aware of, and I've known them both since 1989.

Did mike get a BJ from that groupie he talked about in the making of Angel Dust? Or was it all made up just to troll?

[Mike skips over this one]

I'll answer this one. That was a true story. All of it, including the fact that he did NOT take her up on her offer of giving him a BJ. *He would like to add that he often wonders if that was a mistake and he missed out on some "really good head." He is kidding, of course. When he said he doesn't like groupies, he was being sincere. It gives him the "ick”

since it's time to ask anything: how big is Mike's dick?

Shamefully small....you're like Dora the Explorer on the hunt for it. [Source laughs]

I have ZERO complaints [you might guess the Source's relationship to Mike here]

first and foremost, is mike doing ok? i mean, both mentally and physically.. i just hope he got over all the things that were troubling him and is in a good state right now😭

Wow, ya....um....that's really kind [he truly sounds taken aback by the question] I am doing well. And...um.... I thank you for the support, it's appreciated. Truly, I mean that....ok....I'm done....you do the rest, [source]. [recording ends]

He is doing well. He is taking the advice of his care team and limiting his work. Enjoying life. Moving forward you will find his tours are broken into multi-week sessions followed by some downtime, and projects will be less frequent, but hopefully more satisfying.

is mike currently working on some new music/projects/plans to revive some of the old ones? some upcoming collaborations maybe?

Yes. However he told me I could only give you a very basic answer. He is working on something new, but his priority and focus is on fulfilling the tours he had to postpone or cancel over the past few years. Starting with his “slutty” group. [the slutty group is Tomahawk ;) ]

now for the more personal ones… [the previous two and the next two questions were all from the same anon]

those weren't personal?😂oh boy!

Yeah he isn't going to answer these. But I will try.

what is mike's current relationship with trevor? are they on good terms? do they talk/spend time together still? i think we can all agree that there is kind of an elephant in the room right now regarding their recent interactions (i'm very much looking at you trev)

Things are probably the best they've been since high school. They do live on different coasts and both tend to keep busy, so they don't have time to really "hang" out, but that hasn't really been something that they do since high school. They see each other enough over work and yes, they really do enjoy working together. Especially now that they have both matured some.

is mike still… married?? i need to hear the most elaborate answer for this one because his marriage in particular is a real twilight zone haha

Bless you for asking this! Personally, this subject irks me a bit. So I am glad someone asked, as I would love to set the record straight. Yes, he is still technically married, but only for legal reasons. I cannot give you more details as it would violate someones privacy. However; he and Cristina are not together. He likes to be vague about this, as it

is somewhat of a security blanket for him. Now that he has gone public about his demons, you can probably understand why he likes to keep people at an arms length distance. Especially women. Yes they separated and then reconciled. It didn't work out. Having a significant other that is never around can lead to loneliness and other issues, and they just couldn't make it work. Even so, they still remain friends and live a few blocks away from each other. Romantically, that relationship is dead AF. That does not mean that he is "available" though. He isn't. I promise you he is happy. At least he says he is. He is the love of my life.

[I asked about my gifts for Mike from the Southern US Bungle tour, they DID end up on the bus, the anal hook got passed around and somehow ended up with Dave?!??! Mutherfuckr....anyways, I gave the Source the link to where I got it in case she wanted to get another one for Mike. And as for the socks...]

That was very kind of you and he definitely appreciates the thought and creativity put into these gifts. I have definitely seen the socks with blood dripping. I'll look for the ones with the skull. He did mention to me that he's loves all the socks that fans have given

him. So I am sure he has them. As for the anal hook. Thank you for the link. I'm not sure that man needs any more "gadgets" if you catch my drift.

[I apologized for the "is he still married' question...you all know how I feel about that topic...]

It's okay. Like I said, I honestly don't mind answering that one at all.

I don't mind answering any of these. Look, I think he is hot too. I would be a total hypocrite if I didn't understand the fascination. Which is why I encouraged him to answer these. Plus he is so damn guarded. It's good for him to open up. Baby steps. Answering a few questions won't hurt him or change his life.

What turns him on about a woman or man?

I did try to get him to answer this question seriously… I tried. Instead he started describing me. Except for the end when he added and "Big sweaty hairy balls." Obviously I can't answer this for him, but I can tell you what he has told me what he likes about me… at least the PG version. He always tells me his favorite thing about me is my

kindness and big heart and that I accept him unconditionally. I know, probably not what you were expecting. He also tends to be attracted to women who are creative and successful. That is my own observation from the women he has dated. He also loves dark haired and dark eyed women, with a wicked sense or humor. He is also definitely an "ass" man. As for men, I have never heard him honestly mention being attracted to one, other than when he was joking around.

[to me, and I decided to include...] I know you all like to fantasize that he has gay tendencies. So if you prefer to keep this answer quiet I completely understand. But I can assure you, he is not keeping his gay side closeted or anything. We are very open minded as a couple and believe me, if he wanted to experiment. He could have.

What's his favourite fragrance?

Currently it's Burberry Touch. He also likes Montblanc Legend.

[I interject: *me again - actually there's a lot of chat around what fragrance mike wears….people really like

it….if he wants to share the internet would be forever grateful]

I understand. He smells amazing. Scents are a big thing with him.

Is Mike really into the BDSM community or is it all stage acting?

I did say we are a very open minded couple. Plus the man is an Aquarius.

That's that on that, folks. There were a couple of questions that have come in since these, I haven't sent them in yet, hoping to get a few more in so I can send a block of 'em. The Source says we're still welcome to ask, but she can't promise anything more from Mike. I personally want you all to know the interactions I've had with the Source have all been very sweet. It really does sound like she wants Mike to start be more comfortable out there in the world again, and so I want you all to love and support them both with all your bits.

FIN

[eldritch-spouse]

I’m absolutely in love with Zizz! As a very sleepy girl myself, I also just want someone to cuddle with. The bed, blankets, pillows, and plushies are all just green flags to me!

Questions:

How would Zizz react to pregnant/very motherly reader? (I have intense baby fever…)

How is Zizz as a father?

What’d happen if reader had an affair?

Would Zizz dress reader up as a doll?

How does Zizz react to reader sleeping in the nude, and asking him to do the same?

Sorry these aren’t original. Obviously was inspired by other similar/same questions of other characters

Love your works!

[Thenk you! :>]

You asked a lot of things, so my responses will be shorter. If you want more details then press on the subject in another ask.

1) If you want a child, then he's all to happy to start a family. He's not extremely concerned about anything at the moment, he's in a great financial situation and the most powerful demon in Sloth. Things couldn't get better for a baby to be introduced into the dynamic. By all means, he's already so lazy with his pull out game, just lay on Zizz and tell him you want a family, he'll start moving those hips alright.

2) He's an extremely laid-back dad whose major preoccupations are that the kid gets a decent sleep schedule (for a sloth halfling), and plenty of mental/educational stimulation when they're awake. He detests the kid's crying, but his love is greater than his laziness and he'll eventually trudge his ass over to the crib while you're recovering. Jayde is going to do a lot of nanny work. He's a calm, wise, collected and calculating father figure that your child will take great comfort from.

3) Death. Cheat on him and you will die.

4) Zizz is practically nude already, his outfit doesn't leave that much to the imagination, sleeping naked is barely a step down from that. He only truly feels naked when the veil is taken from his face, but even then, he's likely to humor it so long as the lights are kept very dim. If you sleep naked, which is possible because Hell is warm by default, then Zizz often takes to blindly and sleepily groping you often. This facilitates and encourages his humping episodes, and don't be surprised if he's well-asleep but his fingers are reflexively trying to weasel into your pussy. Sometimes he'll put a blanket over you, especially when he has to leave the bed. Naturally, you're very welcome to touch him too when he sleeps bare.

[frozen-snowflakesandsunflowers]

World of Frozen: Disney Parks | Analysis

Part 1

We have gotten our first official look at the Frozen resort in the Disney Park in Japan in a short promotional video on Instagram. It's so beautiful and gives me a mix of Frozen and Frozen Fever vibes - The two of my favourite Frozen movies!

Let's break it down and see what we have because sometimes big attractions like Disney Parks tease upcoming things for future stories like how we have the upcoming podcasts soon and then Frozen 3 later on.

We open the video to a painting of Elsa and Anna similar to that shown in Frozen 2, in "Into the Unknown". Same attire but different setting and pose.

Then we get closeups of Arendelle and a glimpse of the Ice castle in the distance too. All around Arendelle, are buttings of the official Arendelle flag as they are most year round. The foundation is frozen in big snowflakes just like in Olaf's Frozen Adventure.

And the cutest part of how they've designed Arendelle is that they added the Elsa and Anna figures on the clocktower from Frozen Fever!! They're exactly the same except they added details to the bottom of Elsa's dress. Presumably, that means that since Anna's birthday in Frozen Fever, those giant dolls in the Clocktower of Arendelle have stayed there for two years!

Next, we get a look at the roll of a proclamation for an official 'Summer Snow day", which is the event that is taking place in this Park. We see a citizen of Arendelle putting the roll up but we only see the back of her head. She can be seen wearing a ribbon with 3 sunflowers on the bow, very similar to the one Anna wears in Frozen Fever. Sunflowers are Arendelle's symbol in the summer because it's Anna's birth month and season and favourite flower too as we learn in Frozen Fever.

We get a close-up of the latest newspaper from the Arendelle Daily Press. On it, it headlines 'Arendelle Set To Celebrate Summer Snow Day'. For those who can't read the articles featured in this newspaper, I'll write it all out below from top to bottom, and left to right.

"Citizens have finished preparations for Summer Snow Day festivities across the kingdom, and they are expecting this to be the largest celebration yet

Everyone from Arendelle's Royal family to entrepreneur of the year. Wandering Oaken, will be hosting an array of events taking place in the village and forest.

Villagers appear to be the most excited about a royal tour of Elsa's Ice Palace.

In an official statement released early today, Elsa stated that she and Anna wanted to do something truly special for the people of Arendelle.

Through the power of Elsa's ice magic, visitors will be transported to the top of the North mountain and treated to a performance filled with music and fun. This annual celebration marks the day that Anna sacrificed her life to protect Elsa. Anna not only saved her sister with an extraordinary act of true love, but also saved the kingdom from the most severe ice storm on record."

"Local Entrepreneur Builds Sleigh Slide

Wandering Oaken, owner of Wandering Oaken's Trading Post and Sauna, is inviting everyone to ride his Sliding Sleighs as part of the annual Summer Snow Day celebration. From the comfort of his sauna, Oaken said, “I was having a steam when an idea popped into my mind, what if we all could ride sleighs in the summer? Wouldn't that be a hoot!”.

After sharing that his attraction is reindeer powered and snowman operated, Oaken spoke a great length about the “big summer Snow Day blowout” at his Trading Post and Sauna. Members of Oaken's family finally stepped in after an extensive pitch for a sun balm of his own invention, and they insisted that he, “Let it go”."

"Northern Delights

Sweets to brighten your days and nights

Across from friendship fountain"

"Tick Tok Toys & Collectibles

Beloved gifts from anytime

Conveniently located in the Clock Tower Square"

"Wandering Oaken's Sliding Sleighs

A real hoot and a half!

This Summer Snow Day

Across from the Fjord in Arendelle Forest

And while you're there, be sure to step inside Wandering Oaken's Trading Post and Sauna for the big Summer Snow Day Blowout!"

"Golden Crocus Inn

The Finest Dining in the Kingdom

"We will treat your like royalty” "

"Weather Forecast

Warm and sunny with a chance of scattered summer snow"

"Elsa Seeks to Improve Relations with the Southern Isles

Elsa has invited the Royal Family of the Southern Isles to enjoy Summer Snow Day celebrations in Arendelle. The King, Queen and twelve of their sons were seen entering Arendelle Castle after their ship arrived late yesterday. “It's a lovely display of peace between the two kingdoms.” said local candy shop owner. “I think the gesture is sweet”.

The relationship between both kingdoms has been viewed as chilly following a dramatic attempt by Prince Hans of the Southern Isles to overthrow the Royal Family of Arendelle. It is no surprise that the imprisoned Prince is the only member of the neighbouring Royal family who will not be visiting. Prince Hans is currently recovering injuries from a giant snowball, the details of which remain unclear.

Official Ice Master And Deliver of Arendelle

Summer Ice

New Available "

To summarize this newsletter, Elsa and Anna have created a new annual celebration called, the Summer Snow Day, to mark the day that Anna sacrificed her life to protect Elsa and saved the kingdom from enteral Winter in the first movie or in other words the anniversary of the great thaw. This storyline is set before Frozen 2 and after Frozen Fever. Bearing in mind that Frozen Fever is (just a month under) a year after Frozen and was set around the events of Anna's birthday, June 22, summer solstice, Summer Snow Day is exactly a year after Frozen and a month or so after Frozen Fever. Elsa and Anna also created this celebration as an urge to do something truly special for the people of Arendelle. But the interesting thing is that it also states that the sisters, particularly Elsa given she's the Queen, want to improve their relationship with the Southern Isles by inviting them to their first Summer Snow Day celebration. But although the royal family of the Southern Isles attended, Hans didn't because he's recovering from injuries from a giant snowball (of which details are unclear). When they mentioned a giant snowball we immediately remember when Elsa blew the birthday bugle horn and shot a massive Snow ball to the Southern Isles, specifically right on Hans. The giant snowball went unnoticed by everyone in Arendelle when Elsa accidentally threw it but I'm pretty sure Hans knows exactly where it came from - because there's only one person he knows with ice powers! 😆 But I think the King and Queen of the Southern Isles told Elsa and Anna about Hans injuries to answer for his absence so by doing so, that's how the sisters learn about the giant snowball being from when she blew the horn in Anna's birthday (because I'm sure they wouldn't believe a giant snowball hit Hans out of nowhere with no snow around the Southern Isles either). When the Paper says he is the imprisoned Prince, I believe that his parents must've imprisoned him in his castle with chores to be done etc as punishment and whenever his family have to go anywhere else be it in the kingdom or to another, he isn't allowed to.

Moving on, we have another look at Arendelle and we see Elsa and Anna in their epilogue attire of course, (cosplay versions of course for the Parks) greeting at a local citizen.

We have a closer look at the sisters and a fist look at Arendelle castle. What we see here is the back of the castle but also west of the castle.

Then we get another look at the iconic Clock Tower behind a lamp post.

And finally we see the sisters walking by the Clock Tower and by its side we can see another glimpse of Elsa's Ice Castle.

So that's the whole promotional video for the 'World of Frozen' in the new Disney Park in Japan. Though the storyline is set a year after Frozen and a month after Frozen Fever (given Frozen was set in July), Elsa and Anna in the Parks are in their Frozen 2 epilogue attire for promotional purposes of Frozen 2 and all other media set after, I believe. So that means the Southern Isles and Arendelle are on good terms now. As for Hans, we don't know what he's up to. I'm certain he has recovered from his injuries and his punishment must be over a month or two from the Summer Snow Day. Since then, we have heard nothing of where he is or what he's up to. So his current status is unknown.

But a theory goes that he is Wolfgang in disguise 🥸 But I'll save that for another post. For now, here's the breakdown to the video of the 'World of Frozen' attraction in Japan's new Disney Park.

Part 2 ft more Easter eggs in another snippet of the Arendelle park here...

[algolstare]

Hello

I am in a similar situation to yourself but with no opportunities to escape just now. I have siblings relying on me and emotionally abusive Stepmom. I am autistic, recently diagnosed and heavily mask. I had a small collection of dolls and plushes. I get comfort from them. I feel like I protect them even when noone protect me. But a few days ago she took them from me as punishment . I did not know she actually threw them out. She told me this morning deliberately after rubbish lorry came so it would hurt extra. It's sound so stupid but it's killing me inside to think they were scared and suffering wondering where I am and not saving them. That they might be still suffering. I don't know if the rubbish collection crushed and killed them. They were only quite small and some old. They were very timid and don't like loud noises. It just kill me knowing they are gone when they do small and helpless and I wasnt there. I made the mistake of telling my dad and he said I was crazy. I just don't know what to do. They made things bearable because I had a purpose to protect them. I know that sounds weird. I just don't know how to deal with the pain. Have you experienced this and how did you deal with it or did you manage to take your dolls/plushes with you. You don't have to answer and I am sorry for the long letter. I am happy at least one of us got out

Hello lovie, I'm so so so sorry that you are in a similar situation to how I was in. I hope you & your siblings will get the opportunity to get away soon.

It doesn't sound weird at all - I'm the same way. I see a lot of objects, especially stuffed animals & dolls, as having feelings. I had lots & lots of them, and they comforted me while I was living with my abusive family, and they were often taken from me as punishments too. I'm so sorry your dad wasn't caring or understanding of you, it isn't fair, it isn't right

I couldn't keep any of mine, because I couldn't carry them.. but I know in my heart they knew what was happening. It was so hard to let them go, and go without them, but stuffed animals are very clever and very kind. They never want their people to suffer or to stay in bad places for them - and when their loved ones aren't there, they go away into new selves, that is how I see it. Like the velveteen rabbit becoming a real bunny, away from the boy.. it isn't something we can see.

It makes it easier to deal with losing them because I know that they aren't having to witness my suffering anymore either. I think they probably could recognize your stepmom is no good, such that they would not blame you for her actions which you cannot stop. But truly it comes back to that they are good-natured and want what's best for us, and sometimes that means letting us go too.. they can always go into someplace else, but we as fleshy humans can only live one fragile life.

It is okay to feel the grief. It doesn't mean you are wrong or crazy or that you are in your own way. Loss is never easy, even when we have certainty they went away okay it's hard to bear it, all the more when we don't have that. If my answer doesn't make it feel any better it doesn't mean you are wrong either.

Right now I have 2 stuffed animals, one is a gift from a precious loved one, a small teddy, and the other is especially special because he is handmade just for me. They don't replace the ones I lost but they took up the torch that the stuffies I once had had passed on.

Thank you for reaching out, and for not giving up. Please keep going, I wish to lend some of my strength to you, and I know your stuffed animals and dolls would want to see you happy and free too. It won't be this way forever. It can be so difficult to see a way forwards when you are still stuck and hurting, but I promise it is there. I am wishing for your happiness & freedom with all my heart!! Please feel free to keep sending in letters as much as you want to.

[mysticdragon3md3]

With my family's Japan trip approaching, I realize it's possible, I might find Nendoroid Dolls in a store, without much time to shop, so I should decide beforehand which Nendoroid Dolls I need to prioritize.

I used my old personal rating system, that I made to fit MyFigureCollection's star ratings. But I needed to add the 3.5 stars level. Because I'm more of a Nendoroid collector, all non-Nendoroids, including Nendoroid Dolls, are not really on my buying list. So a lot of the Nendoroid Dolls that I'm interested in, would have fit into my old 3 star rating. But even then, there are still some I prioritize over others, within that ranking. So I had to make my 3.5 stars rating. And honestly, I'm surprised I didn't already have a rating for "I don't feel obligated to get, though I am semi interested in getting, but more interested and slightly less indifferent than 3 star figures".

Truthfully, the only reason I feel obligated to buy Camus is because his hair is the closest for making a custom Nendoroid Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd. (I already decided on trying to use Tanjiro Kamado's hair for Claude von Riegan.) Honestly, I think on it's own, his hair is a little flat. If I had to get a vampire Nendoroid Doll, I'd prefer Milla. Her hair buns are so pretty.

I feel kind of bad that I had to bump down Bianca and the Halloween Red Riding Hood to 3 stars, but I had to be honest with myself.

I love pastel hair, but I've always had a problem with pink as a color in general. Too much gender in it for me. And though I have worked for years to become mostly fine with pink now, I do have to admit that some part of me still gets too reminded of gender restraints when pink is thrust upon me. ...And maybe that's okay. We all have weird reasons for our idiosyncratic tastes. My brother dislikes cheese, because one time the smell of the cheese aisle overwhelmed him when he was little. And as I understand it, most food dislikes originate from similar random anecdotal experiences. I dislike ketchup, mustard, relish, and pickles for reasons similar to my brother's experience. I've tried as hard as I can to change my dislike of pink, and I still can't completely. But maybe all the progress I've made to now enjoy most pink things---as long as it's not dominating my clothes---is enough. These days, I love cherry blossoms, pink flowers, Kirby, Madoka Kaname, pink desserts, and characters with pink hair. I even like the pink-hair character designs of characters I have no emotional attachment to! But when it comes to figure collecting and spending $70+, I have to take a harder stance. My only problem with pink Bianca is that she is one of the first 2 of a new series of Nendoroid Doll designs, the "Tea Time Series". That means there might be future, "Tea Time" Nendoroid Dolls with designs I'll like better. Maybe even designs in lavender, baby blue, mint, or periwinkle! ^o^ And when that happens, I will feel so bad about spending $70 on pink Bianca, just because she was one of the first "Tea Time Series" Nendoroid Dolls. I can't rush out to buy her, as if she'll be the only "Tea Time" Nendo Doll, when I could instead wait and possibly get "Tea Time" Nendoroid Dolls in lavender, mint, or periwinkle. O.o! Regardless, Bianca is still a 3 star figure to me, because her hair is still very cute and her pastel colors are still very soft and soothing. ^_____^ If I had the spare money, I would rush out to preorder her, enjoy her soft pink hair designs, AND buy any future lavender "Tea Time" Nendo Dolls. But I already have to limit my budget to just Nendoroids, while buying Nendoroid Dolls is mostly a hypothetical to me. Though, a hypothetical I still want to be prepared for, if I run into them in a store.

I really should prefer the Halloween version of Red Riding Hood, since Halloween is my favorite holiday. But I really like the hue interplay between the original Rose's hair and eye colors. I've been trying to convince myself for a long time, that I could just get Halloween Riding Hood and be fine. But her grey hair and gold eyes just seem flat against the original's brunette hair and green eyes. And now that I'm ranking the Nendoroid Dolls I'm interested in, I now realize that I've also ranked Wolf Ash pretty low. Maybe I'm just not that excited about gray hair??? I thought I'd like gray hair, since I love lavender hair Nendoroids/characters. Even some of my lavender haired Nendoroids have almost-gray hair. But maybe a true neutral gray just doesn't reach that level of pretty for me. So I've finally accepted that I would probably be happier with the original Red Riding Hood Nendo Doll, and maybe I should get just the Halloween outfit separately.

[lolitastrn]

deer!reader

a/n : these are just my interpretations of !reader types that i cannot take credit for. i’ve been heavily inspired by multiple writers on this app, including princessbrunette, loveebot, starfxkr and donatellawritings. if any of these lovely writers (or others) see this and feel it���s a little too similar to their version of the !readers, i have no problem in taking it down.

* not my pictures - all found from pinterest

about her :

biggest people watcher, a habit picked up due to her anxiety. can often be found either napping or reading somewhere. practically lives in mary janes. has slight staring issues, but it’s not her fault!! pleated plaid skirts and long sleeved shirts. she has a tendency to ask questions, mainly to matt about the behaviour of chris. extremely quiet and a little awkward which can come off as rude but she’s the farthest thing from it. ‘forever’ by the little dippers. dainty bows tied on everything. always looks lost or confused. carries around ‘lucky charms’ everywhere she goes (they’re actually just calico critters and sony angels). constantly falling over; he knees buckle when she gets really anxious. s1 rory gilmore = her.

with matt :

they both can relate to each other so much it’s crazy. often found napping together, neither of them wake up until around 3 in the afternoon. matt most definitely calls her ‘dear’ or ‘dearie’ i mean… come on now. he loves to listen to her talk about the latest book she’s found herself indulging in. matt’s always taking her on cute diner dates, or out to the bookstore. their love is very gentle and they’re both reliant on one another. since they both struggle with anxiety, they feel most at ease together. he’s had to catch her from falling countless times and kisses each and every one of her bruises. the first gift he ever got her was a customised blythe doll that looks exactly like her. jamming out to ‘bags’ by clairo all the time. all her cats adore him so much. the first time they ever got intimate was a good while into the relationship, around 5 months. matt initiated it, of course, and it was very slow and sensual - it always is between the two of them. protection is a must, she won’t let it happen without it. they both trust each other so much, arguments rarely happen (mainly because they have nothing to argue about - and she hates it when matt raises his voice).

with chris :

at first she’s a little scared of chris, his loudness frightened her. but over time he stopped being as loud around her, understanding she’s very skittish. chris always offers to go to the bookstore with her, even if he does finds it extremely boring. she tells him he doesn’t have to, but he does anyway. he always shows an interest in her latest book, asking questions and willing to learn more about it. he probably calls her ‘bambi’ because her big brown eyes remind him that of a deer. no matter how much he tries to understand her collections of little dolls, he just can’t - often buying the wrong thing, but it’s the thought that counts! chris knows how to help with her anxiety, having experience with matt when they were younger. he wants nothing more than for her to feel safe around him, and she does. much like with matt, whenever they get initiate protection is very much needed. chris worries he might be hurting her, and no matter how many times she tells him it’s ok and he can go faster, his pace remains slow. he holds her as though she’ll break and she adores how careful he is with her. she appreciates how much he cares for her, even if sometimes he does frighten her with his foolish ways.

a/n 2 : although i think deer!reader is best paired with matt, her and chris are super cute too!! i just think matt would give her the more gentle love she deserves; chris can get a little ahead of himself sometimes, but that’s just my opinion ! also there’s a little self insertion here whoopsie daisies :p

[heartofstanding]

Hi, I have a question about Henry V if thats ok?How reliable are reports about Henrys “wild youth” ? Are there any contemporary sources for it or is it a latter invention?

Hi, that is definitely more than OK! I love getting questions about my boy.

There are contemporary sources for Henry's wild youth. The earliest version of the "great change" from the riotous prince to dignified king is found Thomas Walsingham’s chronicle:

as soon as he was invested with the emblems of royalty, he suddenly became a different man. His care now was for self-restraint and goodness and gravity, and there was no kind of virtue which he put on one side and did not desire to practise himself. [1]

However, as much as I love him, Shakespeare's "madcap prince" Hal as depicted in Henry IV, Parts One and Two, has very little in common with the historical Henry. The story of his criminal tendencies and arrest by Chief Justice Gascoigne are 16th century inventions. Most of his Eastcheap associates are characters invented by Shakespeare - there was no historical counterparts for Poins, Mistress Quickly, Doll Tearsheet, Bardolph and Peto, and the historical counterparts for Falstaff (Sir John Oldcastle, Sir John Fastolf) have little in common with him.

So what did the historical Henry's wildness look like? The anonymous Vita et Gesta Henrici Quinti tells us Henry was:

an assiduous pursuer of fun, devoted to organ instruments [an intentional double entendre] which relaxed the rein on his modesty, although under the military service of Mars, he seethed youthfully with the flames of Venus too, and tended to be open to other novelties as befitted the age of his untamed youth. [2]

The Vita et Gesta had been commissioned by Walter, Lord Hungerford who was close to Henry (reportedly, Hungerford held him in his arms as he died) and similar sentiments are found in Tito Livio Frulovisi's Vita Henrici Quinti, commissioned by Henry's youngest brother, Humphrey, Duke of Gloucester:

He delighted in song and musical instruments, he exercised meanly the feats of Venus and of Mars, and other pastimes of youth for so long as the King his father lived. [3]

Both of these texts were written in the mid-to-late 1430s after Henry's death and this, alongside with their sources, suggests that they should be taken seriously. Basically, they seem to be saying that he was young, he liked fun, he liked music, he liked sex and while he may have worked hard, he partied hard too.

Some of these claims are verifiable. We know Henry liked music, we know he played the harp, recorder and pipes/flutes and that he may have been the "Roy Henry" who composed two mass movements found in the Old Hall Manuscript collection, though the Vita et Gesta probably didn’t mean that kind of music. We know that much of Henry's adolescence was spent dealing with Owain Glyndŵr's revolt and that at sixteen, he fought at the Battle of Shrewsbury and was seriously wounded.

The claims that Henry "seethed youthfully with the flames of Venus" are more difficult to substantiate. There is no evidence Henry had mistresses or illegitimate children though it’s possible, even likely, that such evidence wouldn’t survive, particularly if he had no long term sexual relationships. Nor were there rumours that he engaged in relationships with favourites that were "not without some taint of an obscene relationship", to quote Walsingham on Richard II’s relationship with Robert de Vere [1]. One of Henry’s close friends, Richard Courtenay, Bishop of Norwich, apparently commented that he did not believe "that [Henry] had known women carnally after having received the crown" [4], which might, as some historians suggest, imply that this celibacy was notable in comparison to what came before. It also might be notable that Courtenay has been suggested to have been Henry’s lover. So the image of Henry as a playboy prince is more difficult to prove but not impossible.

The story that Henry banished his unsuitable companions upon his coronation first appears in an anonymous version of The Brut, written in 1478-1479. Gwilym Dodd attempted to find evidence of this story in contemporary records such as charter witnesses, household appointments and the coronation livery roll, and there is no evidence of a great purge of Henry’s household. He did distance himself from the “infamous heretic”, Sir John Oldcastle, and fourteen lower status men who had been retained for life by Henry when Prince of Wales did not appear to have been taken on by him as king. But “there is no other evidence to suggest that he turned his back on his former associates“. The story he did might simply reflect “the inevitable transformation of [...] the relatively small, exclusive ‘private’ affinity of a Prince into a much enlarged and inclusive 'public' affinity of a king” [5].

With all this caveats about Henry V’s “wildness” it might be worth noting that Dodd suggests the story of Henry’s household purge might be to allow the author to acknowledge some of the less... salubrious aspects of Henry’s behaviour as prince without blaming Henry himself but on the nameless unsuitable companions who had already been appropriately “dealt with” by Henry. James C. Bulman, editor of the Arden Henry IV, Part Two, also offers the possible solution that the “wild youth” might have disguised the more serious conflicts between Henry and his father.

In the last years of Henry IV’s reign, Henry was often in serious conflict with his father. This “wildness” might have been a way of talking about this conflict without acknowledging the often treasonous undertones and undercurrents of both patricide and filicide. The image we have of Henry in the last years of Henry IV’s reign is of, as Katherine J. Lewis puts it, “an ambitious young man refusing to wait his turn for power within the the patriarchal hierarchy patiently and submissively” [6]. There were rumours that he or Henry Beaufort, Bishop of Winchester had urged Henry IV to abdicate in his favour, something that was hardly going to go down well with the king. There were also rumours that Henry had been plotting to usurp his father which Henry felt he had to strenuously denied and allegations of misconduct that he was eventually cleared of. On his part, Henry IV was rumoured to be considering disinheriting Prince Henry to allow the crown to pass to his second and favourite son, Thomas, Duke of Clarence, and may have been playing his sons off each other to maintain control of them. The First English Life of Henry the Fifth, written in 1513, contains a story where Prince Henry sought to reconcile with his father and, granted an audience with him, gave his father a knife and told him "I desire you in your honour of God, for the easing of your heart, here before your knees to slay me with this dagger" [7]. The fact that the First English Life was written 100 years after Henry IV’s death and it’s source for this story is unknown may make this story doubtful but it does speak to the tensions around Henry’s relationship with his father. In addition to the possibility that the “wild prince” story was a way of acknowledging this conflict indirectly, two of Henry’s biographers, Teresa Cole and John Matusiak, both speculated that Henry’s wayward behaviour might have been come as a reaction to this conflict.

Henry also clashed with some of the “old guard” of his father’s regime, most notably Thomas Arundel, Archbishop of Canterbury and possibly William Gascoigne, the Chief Justice of England in Henry IV’s reign, who was either removed from office or resigned shortly after Henry V’s accession. Peter McNiven in also makes a convincing case for Prince Henry having some sympathies with or at least tolerance for Lollardy, which might made him an alarming prospect for those, such as Henry IV and Archbishop Arundel, who supported a hardline approach the “Lollard problem” (the second year of Henry IV’s reign saw the passing of De heretico comburendo, a law which punished heresy by burning at the stake; it is largely viewed to be Arundel’s pet project). It might be that Henry V’s wildness might have been, to build on Bulman’s suggestion, a way to disguise less acceptable and more controversial positions Henry might have held.

Personally, yes, I think that the idea of the “wild youth” might be to disguise the more serious conflicts going on at the centre of power and in some ways makes for a “sexier” story than political conflicts. I also think that if there is truth to the “worked hard, partied hard” image, this may have come as a reaction to the situation Henry found himself in. Henry had come to adulthood in the midst of immense pressures, from civil war, rebellion and conflict with his father and brother. He turned thirteen in the middle of his father’s usurpation of the throne and the deposition of Richard II - someone Henry seems to have been fond of. A handful of months after Henry’s thirteenth birthday, he survived the Epiphany Rising, a plot to restore Richard II to the throne and to kill his father - and, allegedly, to kill himself and his three younger brothers. He was just sixteen years old at the Battle of Shrewsbury, one of the bloodiest battles fought on English soil. He was severely injured, taking an arrow to the face, and left permanently disfigured - no doubt a traumatic experience. It would be hardly surprising if he sought outlets for these stresses and trauma in sex, alcohol and other wayward behaviour.

----

[1] The Chronica Maiora of Thomas Walsingham, trans. David Preest (The Boydell Press 2005)

[2] Anne Curry, Henry V: From Playboy Prince to Warrior King (Penguin Monarchs 2015), annotations as in text.

[3] my modernisation of "He delighted in songe and musicall Instruments, he exercised meanelie the feates of Venus; and of Mars, and other pastimes of youth, for so longe as the Kinge his father liued" from  C.L. Kingsford, ed., The First English Life of Henry V (Clarendon Press 1911)). The First English Life is largely a translation of Frulovisi's Vita and the only English translation.

[4] original Latin: "non credebat quod cognovisset mulierem carnaliter post quam ipse coronam susceperat”

[5] “Henry V’s Establishment: Service, Loyalty and Reward in 1413“ in Henry V: New Interpretations, ed. Gwilym Dodd (York Medieval Press 2018). All quotes in this paragraph come from here.

[6] Kingship and Masculinity in Late Medieval England (Routledge 2013)

[7] A. R. Myers, ed. English Historical Documents: 1327-1485 (Routledge 1969), modernised from  C.L. Kingsford, ed., The First English Life of Henry V (Clarendon Press 1911)).

Other sources mentioned:

Cole, Teresa, Henry V: The Life of the Warrior King & the Battle of Agincourt (Amberley 2016) Matusiak, John, Henry V (Routledge 2013) McNiven, Peter, Heresy and Politics in the Reign of Henry IV: The Burning of John Badby  (The Boydell Press 1987) Shakespeare, William, King Henry IV, Part 2, ed. James C. Bulman (Bloomsbury 2016)

[foilfreak]

4 Lords Raise Rose AU Ideas

Not a single person asked for this, but that other post where I talk about the 4 lords adopting Rose but still technically being terrible people got way more popular than I expected it to, so, with about 6 shots of tequila in my system and a terrible urge to spit my thoughts out for all the internet to see and judge, I’ve decided to make a follow up post. Here’s how I think the 4 lords would take care of Rose in the event they rebelled against Mother Miranda and decided to raise Rose as their own instead, but like under the cut after a little bit cuz i accidentally went way too fucking hard with this and I don’t want ppl to get mad at me for making them scroll for an hour to get past this post:

First and foremost, I think they’d do it in stages, and what I mean by this is that Rose would essentially be given to a specific Lord for some period of her life, like a couple years, and then when she was deemed old or strong or annoying enough, she’d be moved to a different lord for some period of time and so on and so forth. They would do this because a) they all live in different areas and have shit to do so it’s easier to have Rose live with one lord at a time and then the other lords can just go visit her there from time to time, rather than try to work out a weekly custody schedule which we all know Alcina and Karl would NEVER be able to agree on so let’s not even bother, and b) because each lord would have either some skill or set of knowledge that would make them the best for caring for Rose at that specific point in her life. This way, all the lords have a (somewhat) equal chance to be a part of Rose’s life and teach her something while she’s with them. So with all that in mind now, let’s get down to who would have Rose and at what point in her life.

1. Starting off with infant Rose, I think she’d end up with the Dimitrescu’s for the first few years of her life, and the reason why I think this is because... well, Alcina IS already a mother to 3 girls, and while we don’t know a terrible amount about Bela, Cassandra, and Daniela’s “upbringing” under Alcina, we can gleam and theorize from her notes that, despite their fully grown bodies, the girls could very well have started out with the mental and physical capabilities of infants, and thus needed to be cared for and brought up in a similar manner as infants or children until they reached a certain point where they could officially be considered adults in mentality and ability, not just in physical appearance. So with this in mind, it’s entirely possible that Alcina could have at least some vague idea of how to care for an infant child through her experiences with the bug sisters; perhaps there’s some gaps in her knowledge, but if nothing else I imagine Alcina would be an infant Rose’s best shot at surviving infancy if only because the other 3 are so incompetent on how to care for a baby that Alcina looks like an expert in comparison. Not to mention that, of the possible locations for an infant to be raised, I do genuinely think that castle Dimitrescu would be the safest place for Rose to be kept during this vulnerable part of her life. Not only that but if Alcina has actually come to care for Rose as though she were one of her own daughters, then she would absolutely spoil Rose rotten with all the nicest clothes and fanciest toys, things that a small infant wouldnt be able to appreciate but would show that she’s loved and cared for nonetheless, and don’t even get me started on the bug sisters, I could see them fawning over Rose for hours on end, playing with her, singing to her, telling her stories of all the man-things they’ve gotten to play with today, and so much more. Overall, Rose would just be the most spoiled and pampered little baby with the Dimitrescus and there’s no changing my mind about this. The only thing I’m struggling to wrap my head around is how they’d feed her, since I doubt a small infant would take very well to blood wine and human flesh. I suppose it wouldn’t be terribly outrageous for them to hire a wet nurse/nanny to care for Rose during the day while the other Dimitrescus go about their daily duties, and when Rose is finally old enough to be introduced to solid food (I.e. fried human flesh cubes) they could do what they always do and turn the nurse into wine too, I guess. It’s not a solid idea but it’s more plausible than anything else I thought of so it’ll work!

2. After spending about 3 years with the Dimitrescus, Rose would then be moved to the Beneviento house. Now, If u don’t know anything about 3 year olds, then you’re probably ignorant to the fact that they are some of the craftiest, sneakiest, and most coniving groups of people to exist on this planet. 3 year olds are masters at getting into and touching just about anything and everything u don’t want them to touch, and worst of all, u won’t realize what they’re doing until they’ve already done it and left a huge mess behind, so while the Dimitrescus love and adore Rose dearly, they know it’s sadly time to hand her over when they find her sitting on top of a pile of dead bodies playing with a metal scythe in the dungeons. Once Rose is dropped off at the Beneviento house, I imagine Donna is her usual stoic self the first few weeks Rose is with her. She’s not cold or distant necessarily, in fact she’s quite happy that it’s finally her turn with precious baby Rose, but Donna isn’t exactly known for being outwardly expressive herself (and even Angie isn’t being quite as forward as she normally is), so things are quiet and peaceful for the first little while that Rose is under her care. It’s not until Rose takes an interest in her doll Angie, and more importantly the things that Donna can do with Angie, that things really start getting fun. By the end of Rose’s first month in the Beneviento house she and Donna are the best of friends and often spend their days either playing dress up and make pretend with Donna’s extensive doll collection, or playing elaborate games of cat and mouse, where Donna will set up lots of puzzles throughout the house for Rose to find and solve (I.e. rose has to match her dress to the doll with the same one as her to find a map telling her which kitchen cabinet Donna hid the chocolate in, or something like that), but be careful little Rose, Angie has been trying to get her hands on that chocolate all day, and if u take too long, she’ll find the map first and eat all the chocolate without saving you a single piece. Just silly little puzzles with enough at stake to engage the mind of a curious 3 year old, but never enough to put rose in any actual danger. Donna is nothing if not a watchful caretaker, so she makes sure she has sight of Rose at all times, occasionally giving her a hint if she’s struggling, and perhaps occasionally making things harder if that day’s puzzle is proving too easy for her. Overall, Rose’s time with Donna, while not as grand and luxurious as the Dimitrescus, was still a fun and enriching experience for the young girl, and there’s nobody in this world who thinks that Donna’s scar is cool more than Rose.

3. After another 3 years with Donna, Rose is now 6 years old and officially far too good at puzzle solving for Donna to keep up with. No matter what she tries or how hard she makes it, Rose just keeps blazing through the puzzles at an almost alarming rate, making it clear that Rose is desperately in need of not only a change in scenery, but also a change in education, and this is where Salvatore finally comes in. After leaving the Beneviento house, I think the next logical place for Rose to stay would be with Salvatore, who, with lore hinting at him perhaps being a scholarly man of some kind, would basically act as her elementary school teacher throughout the duration of her stay. Now, to be fair, Rose could have gone to Heisenburg’s factory, but Heisenberg outright refused to take her and the other 3 lords decide that the factory is simply too dangerous for Rose rn, who thus far hasn’t shown any signs of being anything other than a normal human girl with no noticeable abilities (save for a smart mouth and a terrifying habit of popping up when least expected, a habit she mostly uses to mess with Heisenberg, much to his disdain and Lady Dimitrescu’s delight), so it is to the mutant fish man’s unimaginable delight that he is unanimously voted Roses next caretaker, and the one responsible for her basic education. Despite his initial excitement however, when Rose is finally dropped off at the windmills by Donna, Salvatore realizes that he’s not 100% sure what to do with Rose now that he has her. He’d like to get started on her education right away but at the same time he’s so fearful of Rose hating him because of his disgusting appearance that he kind of just... avoids her entirely at first. He’s never far away from the little girl and is always ready to jump to her rescue should she need it, but other than that Salvatore seldom allows himself to be seen for the first month that Rose is with him, the only sign of him still being around being the platefuls of food that mysteriously appear in Rose’s room 3 times a day, as well as the occasional shiny trinket Salvatore found and thought Rose would like. At first, rose doesn’t seem to mind being left entirely to her own devices, but after every stone, log, and rotting fish corpse within 5 miles of the lake has been turned over and thoroughly examined, Rose decides she’s had quite enough of her Uncle Sal ignoring her, prompting the headstrong little girl to go looking for him herself. She finds Salvatore hiding underneath a patch of floating algae not far away from where she was playing and all but demands that the mutant man come out of the water and give her something to do or she’d tell Mother on him. Salvatore, shocked by the small child’s fearlessly blunt request, hesitates, not wanting to frighten Rose, but ultimately relents, crawling out of the water and timidly suggesting that he teach her how to read and write. Rose quickly agrees, seeming totally unbothered by Salvatore’s grotesque appearance, and the two quickly move to the schoolroom that had been set up specifically for Rose, where Salvatore spends hours upon hours a day teaching Rose everything he knows, filling the little girl’s head up first with the basics, letters and words, then numbers and simple equations, followed later by historical dates and time periods, algebraic formulas, and classic literature analysis, then biology, chemistry, physics, astrology, calculus, ecology, and so much more. Basically, anything there is to know, Salvatore knows at least something about it and he’ll make sure that Rose knows about it too. In the 3 years Rose spends with Salvatore she goes from already sharp as a whip, to being smarter than most adults even, and Salvatore takes immense pride in how intelligent and knowledgable Rose becomes thanks to his surprisingly effective teaching style. Overall, as a caretaker, Salvatore is pretty weird and doubts himself a lot, but Rose thinks he’s funny and loves learning from him so they get along very well and she loves him very dearly! He probs teaches her to swim and fish too.

4. So another 3 years come and go with incredible speed, and its with great sadness on Salvatore’s part that Heisenberg finally comes banging on the fish man’s door, all but demanding that he now be given his turn with Rose. Now, personally, I can see several different arguments being raised by the other 3 lords over why its a terrible idea to let a 9 year old anywhere near Heisenberg, much less be given into his care fully. After about 9 years of seeing his siblings paling around with the constantly growing child, and looking like theyre having the time of their lives all the while, however, Karl decides that perhaps there’s more to this little girl than he originally thought, and, with his interest now piqued (or at the very least looking forward to pissing the other 3 off for entertainment purposes), that its only fair that he be given a turn with her now too, seeing as how he’s the only one who hasn’t been given the chance to be her caretaker yet. This naturally does NOT go over well with the other 3 lords. Alcina all but threatens to kill Karl should he step so much as within 10 ft of Rose, while Donna pipes up and demands to know what his sudden interest in Rose is. Even Salvatore, who is quick to flinch away from direct conflict, goes as far as to harshly point out the plethora of times Karl had outright denied their previous attempts to get him to engage with Rose, so why on earth would they hand her over to him now when he’s previously shown to have absolutely no interest in her? After a long spout of yelling between the 4 siblings, an agreement is reached, wherein Rose herself will be given the chance to decide whether she wants to go with Heisenberg, or whether she’ll return to one of the other 3 lords for the time being. It is to Alcina, Donna, and Salvatore’s absolute horror however, that Rose enthusiastically agrees to go with her Uncle Karl to live in his factory, and with the deal already set, the other lords can do nothing to stop her from going. The trip to drop off Rose at heisenberg’s factory is a long and arduous one, especially for Salvatore, who sobs the whole way there about Rose forgetting about him despite the young girl’s insistence that she’d visit. The first thing Karl does after officially having Rose handed over to him, is give her an extensive list of all the places in the factory in which she is under no circumstances permitted to enter without his permission (which basically only leaves the control room and the old storage closet that acts as her bedroom as viable places for Rose to go and explore). The second thing Karl does is dump her in her new storage closet bedroom and then hightail it for his workshop to work on whatever sick and twisted amalgamation he’s got cooked up this time around. At first, Rose isn’t terribly bothered by this, since she’s used to having something of an “adjustment period” when she’s with a new caretaker, but unfortunately for her, this adjustment period lasts a hell of a lot longer than the others did, and by the time 3 months of almost no meaningful contact with Karl, Rose decides to take matters into her own hands and ascends into the depths of the factory despite the express orders not to do so. Now, going back to the idea that the 4 lords are still pretty terrible people, I doubt Rose has been kept ignorant to the less savory aspects of her caretaker’s lives, and tbh she probably doesn’t think anything of the fact that the Dimitrescus makes wine out of the blood of virgin women or that Salvatore still does cadou experiments (and had her help on occasion), but I imagine even Rose would find the projects Karl works on to be at least a little

4, cont. gruesome and horrifying in nature, especially since Heisenberg is the one she knows the least about. However, instead of turning Rose away from Heisenberg, these terrifying metal creatures she sees locked up only spark her already insatiable curiosity, and by the time she finally tracks Karl down, Rose is all but trembling to learn more about this horrifyingly fascinating metal world. Unfortunately, Karl is not nearly as happy to see Rose as Rose is to see him, and the engineer all but grabs Rose by the scruff of her neck and drags her back up to the control room, yelling and screaming at her all the while about how she was explicitly instructed not to enter these parts of the factory without his permission. Needless to say that Rose does not enjoy this treatment and immediately lashes out, half out of anger and half out of confusion as to why Karl was treating her like this. He was the one who wanted her here in the first place, so why the hell was he just ignoring her now? It didn’t make any sense and it was starting to piss Rose off, so naturally the only thing left for her to do in order to solve this complicated situation would be to continue to disobey Karl until he either gave up and sent her back to one of the other lords, or finally payed some damn attention to her for once. So that’s exactly what she did. Every single day Rose left her room (which Karl kept telling himself he needed to put a lock on, but never did cuz he’s an idiot) and descended down into the depths of the factory looking for something ogle at or tinker with, and every single day Karl would track her down wherever she’d managed to get to and throw her back upstairs threatening to feed her to the lycans if she did it again. This incredibly frustrating cycle continued on for the better part of the next month or so, finally coming to a head when Rose managed to wander into the part of the factory where the... less than successful experiments got put whenever Karl doesn’t have any further use for them but is feeling too lazy to kill them off himself. Long story short, Rose runs into a Sturm that chases her around the factory, causing all manner of mayhem and destruction, and would have torn her to ribbons had it not been for Karl, who jumped in at the last second and was able to fend the damn thing off long enough for Rose to get the ever living fuck out and back up to the control room where it’s safe. There’s a lot of loud noises and explosions coming from deep within the factory that last for what feels like an eternity, but Rose doesn’t dare venture out again until everything has gone eerily quiet and a deep sense of worry has settled in the pit of her stomach over what had become of her latest caretaker. Turns out the Sturm had recognized its creator and, after watching its initial prey escape because of said creator, quickly decided that it fucking hated Karl with every fiber of its being and wanted him dead if it was the last thing it’s propellers did. Now, we all know that Karl is a big strong boy who’s more than capable of handling his own creations and taking down strong enemies, but the Sturm is a creation that even he struggles to control on good days and today is decidedly not a good day so not only does Karl not have the slightest bit of control over the death machine trying to kill him, but its also a lot stronger than Karl initially thought and apparently not picky about the method which causes Karl’s death, which is evidenced by the nearly dead Sturm ramming itself into a power generator as a final act of defiance and nearly blowing up the whole factory and everybody inside. Heisenberg is able to contain the explosion somehow but not without considerable damage to himself first. Rose is, naturally, quite horrified to find Karl passed out in the elevator that had taken him up from the lower levels of the factory where the explosion was, skin burnt nearly to a crisp in certain areas and blood pooling from just about every part of him, and immediately heads over to try and help her injured caretaker.

4, cont. again cuz I physically can’t stop myself. Now, I imagine that any normal 9 year old probably wouldnt be able to handle this sort of situation in any meaningful way, but i think we can all agree that Rose is the furthest thing from normal (especially considering who raised her) and has probably seen enough blood and gore to not be terribly freaked out by it, but this is where things get a little speculative because we don’t know what Rose’s powers are exactly but we do know from the final cutscene that she does have them, perhaps even a plethora of abilities, and I like to think that some of those powers are related to Ethan’s superhuman healing capabilities, but unlike Ethan however, who from what we’ve seen could only heal himself, Rose can actually heal other people (tho this isn’t something she’s aware of at this point in time). The second the elevator door opens to reveal, what looks to be, a half-dead Karl slumped over in the corner, Rose panics and runs to him, doing everything she can think of save for maybe grabbing him by the collar or slapping him across the face, to try and get Karl to wake up, except nothing works, he wont wake up no matter how hard Rose tries and i imagine this must be incredibly distressing for Rose who never intended for something like this to happen or for her caretaker to die because he had to protect her even tho he told her not to go down there because its dangerous and anything down there WOULD kill her if given the opportunity. Anyways Rose is now full on sobbing on top of Karl like only a 9 year old who just discovered that her actions have consequences can, but unbeknownst to her (and technically Karl cuz he’s a little busy bleeding out all over the floor) Karl’s wounds are slowly beginning to close, the burns on his face and hands shift from a bright red to a dark brown before crusting over and flaking off, and even his breathing, which had been labored and inconsistent at first, began to level out slightly. Karl woke up not long after that and was surprised to find that a) he was still alive, which was cool, b) he was injured but not in indescribable pain, also cool, and c) there was a literal sobbing child all but sitting on top of him, which is definitely not something Karl was expecting but he supposed he’s been met with worse things upon waking up after almost dying so why question it. After taking a moment to gather their bearings, the two return to the safer parts of the factory to rest and recover and for the most part this little incident of their’s goes largely unspoken, with Rose not exactly in the mood to talk about how her disobedience nearly got herself and Karl killed, and Karl being too fucking tired to go after her about it, especially since she seems to have learned her lesson. The only downside to this whole thing is that now Karl has a busted up fuckin leg thats gonna take an eternity to heal even for him, and with so much work to still do he’s more or less forced to drag Rose around the factory and use her like the annoying assistant he never wanted (except he did want her, thats how this whole fucking mess started, you lug), except that Rose, who is more than used to playing lab assistant from her time with Salvatore, quickly proves to be a rather capable and handy person to have around, if only because she knows the difference between a philips and a flathead screwdriver even better than he does. An amicable, if still slightly awkward peace settles over Heisenberg’s factory once Karl starts actively engaging with Rose and giving her something to do on a daily basis, even if its just standing around watching him work and occasionally having her questions about what he’s doing answered. It doesn’t take very long after that for Karl to begin realizing that perhaps throwing a huge tantrum to get Rose to come here only to ditch her upstairs by herself for 3 months might not have been the smartest (or most considerate) thing he’s ever done, and even goes as far as to (kinda) apologize to Rose for being such a dick to her since she arrived.

4, last one i swear. Rose forgives him, though not before adding that she already knew he was an asshole from Alcina, which earns her a halfhearted swipe from Karl that Rose easily dodges with a childish giggle. From that point on their relationship improves astronomically as Karl finally gives in and teaches Rose about about engineering and everything else that goes into making the metal horrors that he’s known for. Karl is shocked at how quickly Rose picks up on the trade, getting to the point where Karl wonders if he should start giving Rose her own projects to work on, but quickly rolls his eyes and groans when he remember that Salvatore was the one responsible for her education up until this point, the mere thought of having to give compliments to that “moronic freak” for giving Rose such a good educational foundation makes him want to vomit despite how secretly impressed he is. Overall, Rose’s time with Heisenberg starts out shaky, very shaky even, but after a bit of disaster and some swallowing of the pride on Karl’s part, they end up growing quite close and have a nice fun Uncle and martass Neice dynamic. They make a good team and Karl does genuinely enjoy having a little assistant around to help him with his projects, even if Rose can sound a bit too much like Alcina on some days for his liking.

5. 3 more years come and go and now Rose is a strong and healthy 12 years old, perhaps riddled with a few more scars and smearings of ash and motor oil across her skin than when she first arrived but still strong and capable nonetheless. Going back to that first statement however, this of course means that it’s time for the other 3 lords to come banging on Karl’s door for a change, all but demanding that Rose be handed back over to them. Karl of course refuses, telling them all to fuck off and that Rose didn’t want a leave the factory, so upon realization that all 4 lords were gathered here with the intention of taking Rose back to live with them indefinitely, a fight immediately breaks out between the 4 siblings, as each one makes their case as to why Rose should be returned to them and not the other 3, which of course none of the 4 lords can come to an agreement about because they ALL want Rose to stay with them. So after another long and pointlessly arduous argument, Alcina finally breaks, proclaiming that they’d be here for all eternity of they didn’t make a decision now, and that, like the first time the 4 siblings argued over whether Rose should go with Heisenberg or return to one of the previous lords, Rose would be the one to decide which of her four caretakers she would return to. The agreement is made reluctantly, mostly on the part of Salvatore, Donna, and Heisenberg, but there was seemingly no other way for them to come to a decision, so it would unfortunately have to be up to Rose to decide which of her 4 caretakers she wants to stay with permanently. Rose is quickly brought before the 4 lords and explained the situation, before being given some time to herself to think and make her final decision. A tense and uneasy silence falls over the 4 lords as they wait for the little girl, who they had shown an uncharacteristic amount of mercy and time and devotion and love in the 12 years since Mother Miranda had brought her to the village with the intention of using her to revive an already lost and long-gone baby that she never would have gotten back no matter how hard she tried. Although they refused to admit it to one another, the lords all secretly knew that Rose had wormed her way into each of their cold, dead hearts, reviving an aspect of their humanity that they’d all thought had been lost ages ago. Rose came to the village bringing with her a wave of death and destruction, and yet throughout her childhood she has brought them nothing but light and life, illuminating their previously dark and desolate existences. The 4 lords loved their Rose very dearly and desperately wanted her to be happy, yet each of them possesses a dark and selfish desire to have Rose pick them over the other 3, to come and live with them forever and fill the hole deep inside them that they never knew needed filling. After a short while, Rose comes back out and stands before her 4 beloved caretakers, looking around nervously as she picks at her fingernails. The silence is thick and heavy as the 4 lords stare at the young girl, waiting with bated breaths for her to give her final verdict. Rose continues to say nothing as tears begin to flow from her eyes, sliding down her cheeks in thick streams as the girl begins to sob, dropping her head and clenching her dress. The 4 lords look between one another in confusion, unsure of what to do with this sudden burst of tears. Rose tearfully admits that she can’t and doesn’t want to choose which of the 4 lords she wants to live with permanently because she loves them all very much and wants to be able to see and live with all of them, like they’ve done thus far. Although the lords detest the idea of having to share Rose with anyone, they reluctantly come to an agreement for the girl’s sake, deciding that they would continue with the arrangement they’ve had thus far, only that Rose would switch between caretakers every 3 months instead of every 3 years, giving rose plenty of opportunities to see each of her caretakers just like she wanted. From then on, Rose continues to live her life

5, cont. growing up and learning more and more from each of her beloved caretakers. Although Rose would likely never know what a normal life looks like, living with 4 criminally insane monsters in the remote mountain village in Romania, it would be impossible to say that she wouldn’t have a happy life despite that. Perhaps its because the girl simply doesn’t know any better, so she doesn’t have the ability to see just how messed up her life and her 4 caretakers really are, but i imagine that Rose probably wouldn’t care very much to learn even if she had the opportunity. She’s a happy little girl living a strange but enjoyable life with the only family she’ll ever need. What more could she possibly ask for?

6. As for how Mother Miranda would play into this whole scenario I’ve just drunkenly spat out, im honestly not 100% sure. Ive seen some people suggesting that MM just kinda chills and lets the lords do what they want with Rose, but tbh I honestly don’t see that happening in this universe. MM would still have been just as crazy and driven to get Eva back as she was in canon, so i doubt she’d willingly standby and let her “false children” take away her one shot of getting her real child back simply because they didn’t want to hurt her, i just don’t personally see that happening. The two most likely scenarios i can come up with is that the Lords either banded together and look Miranda on together, their combined forces being enough to take her down and kill her, OR, Ethan is the one to take down MM like he did in canon but he passes out before he can get to rose, giving the lords (who he hadn’t ended up killing but just escaping from i guess) the opportunity to slide in, grab rose, and hightail it out of there, leaving Ethan’s body to be retrieved by Chris, who, due to not seeing or hearing Rose anywhere, believes that Rose must have been accidentally killed along with MM, which he later tells to Ethan and Mia. Regardless of how MM gets taken out of the picture (or if she’s given room to potentially come back later), the 4 lords retreat with Rose and begin the whole cycle I explained up above, but i did want to briefly address how I saw MM fitting into all of this since she is a vital part of the original story and the biggest obstacle to the lords having anything to do with Rose.

Anyways, that was so much longer than I intended it to be but I had so much fun with it just because it gave me the opportunity to spit some fun ideas and potential plot points out about this cool AU that I like and hope someone does SOMETHING with, please god someone do it, I’d do it myself but i have enough projects at the moment unfortunately. If you managed to make it all the way to the bottom, thank you for reading all of that, I appreciate it, and I hope you enjoyed at least some parts of this, and maybe even agree with some of the things I said. Feel free to leave your own ideas in the comments, I’d love to read them and hopefully if enough people like this maybe i will actually do something with it. Who knows? I certainly dont. Anyways thank you for reading all this, i hope you have a great day, and maybe ill see you around in another post. Bye!!! <3

[craftybearpuns]

Today I'll be reviewing various male fashion dolls! I figure this could be helpful because for each fashion doll line on the market, very few dolls are male designed.

I currently have 5 dolls to review, so let's get started!

Left to Right: Cave Club, Rainbow High, BTS fashion doll, Monster High CAM, and a Disney Zombies 2 doll!

All dolls have articulation in the wrists, upper thighs, shoulders, and elbows. Head articulation is limited on MH and RB (both are mainly swivel, tho MH can do a slight head tilt to the side). The Cave Club doll is the only of the 5 that does not have ankle joints. All 5* are able to stand freely without support from a doll stand!

*The Rainbow High POSSIBLY could stand, however my model here is missing a leg. More on that in a minute.

Notable features of each doll:

- Cave Club: this doll has an undercut hairstyle. Approx 2/3 of the scalp is solid plastic with a textured surface, while the top 1/3 of the scalp has rooted hair.

- Rainbow High: similar to the CC doll, this doll has an undercut hairstyle, though less of the scalp has rooted hair. The "shaved" portions are flocked with a soft, fuzzy texture.

- BTS fashion doll: the stock faceup is fairly detailed, and the sculpt of the face is very unique. Each doll in the series has different sculpting. This doll has rooted, 2-tone "split" hair that is textured. The scalp is painted black to replicate "natural root growth".

- Monster High CAM: The CAM line (Create A Monster) was designed with limited customizing in mind (by this I mean parts that are interchangeable, not necessarily for customizing in the means of "repainting", "re-rooting", etc.). This doll features a "non-human" skintone. The forearms, hands, and legs are designed to be able to be pulled off the main doll at the joint with minimal effort. There are 3 ports in the back; 2 for wings and 1 for a tail. The scalp is not rooted but features a port designed around the CAM wig accessory.

(Detail of ports and removable parts of the doll)

- Disney Zombie 2: Please note that the doll shown in the picture above has already had light modifications; notably on the head. This is the only doll in the line up that originally had sculpted, plastic hair. (Fortunately) the hair was it's own separate piece of molded plastic that was attached by adhesive. With the hair removed, the doll has a groove that follows the hairline left on the scalp.

(Details of the "ditch" found under the sculpted hair)

Personal notes:

- re-rooting the Cave Club doll's undercut portion of scalp could prove tricky as the plastic is very stiff and thick in that area.

(Detail of the undercut design differences. RH doll on left has flocked hair for a fuzzy texture, while the CC doll on right has textured plastic.)

- the Rainbow High doll featured has a visible fault; shortly after unboxing the leg snapped at the knee joint. It's unclear if other Rainbow High dolls or this specific model have joint and breakage issues.

- each doll features visibly sculpted abs. There isn't really a lot of body variety when it comes to male dolls, aside from some minor proportion differences (CC doll is short and designed to look "young", RH doll has the widest proportions)

I will update this post in the event that I add more male dolls to my collection. Please feel free to send a message to request more detailed pictures or descriptions.

[witchthewriter]

Hi!!! I found your blog a little while ago and I've reblogged some stuff beforehand but I'm gonna reblog more 1. Just to be safe and 2. Because I love your writing!!!!!!! (I'm @sidefanficaccounttohidemyshame) I was wondering if I could get the level 5 ship for twilight, Vikings, and peaky blinders? (Or just one if the three is too much!!!)

I'm an infp, Gemini sun, Libra moon, and Gemini rising, I'm 19 years old and my pronouns are she/her!

I'm black and darkskinned and I have sister locs down to my neck and right now they're orange but I like to dye my hair a looooot, mostly pastels cause those are my favorite colors. I'm chubby and abt average height but I feel like I look very cherubic to people who don't know me well lol

I have a lot of different aesthetics that I like but I mostly like anything rlly soft looking and cutesy, like rn I've been really into coquette clothes, cottagecore, and pretty much anything pink. I really love whimsigoth clothes and aesthetics too tho!!

I love collecting things, particularly rocks and anything that an old lady would like (I own like 8 vintage tea kettles rn and it is not enough I need more in my life), languages (I speak three well-ish and I'm learning like 18, (one of the three is literally ancient Egyptian because I like learning ones that are mostly useless to me) and linguistics, mythology, witchcraft, cats!! (Pretty much any animal tho, like I'm obsessed with them. Especially animals people are wrong about being ugly, like shoebill storks??? Giant Chinese salamanders??? Adorable. Some of the best creatures on this earth.) anything sweet, writing, which I'm hoping to eventually be able to do full-time, and just walking around in parks tbh, I'm pretty simple to please

My music taste is just loud and/or sexy, sometimes forestlike, but pretty much every song in their is just something I couldn't show to a Victorian child without them passing out

Also if u have any nsfw to put in that'd be awesome but it's absolutely not necessary, just wanted to let you know that I'd be fine with it!!!!

Sorry if this was too long!!! I hope it was actually helpful lol

Want to be shipped? Here be the instructions 🦋

Hey doll you sound so sweet! I love all the information. It makes doing these so much easier - and they’re more detailed and suited to the person. So, good job!

What each ship has in common:

⋆ Intelligent ⋆ Fierce ⋆ Loyal ⋆ Emotional Intelligence ⋆ Curious

𝐓𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Rosalie - you’re opposites. Like moon and sun. But you don’t clash. Instead, you see new ways of thinking from each other and learn. 

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・Nudging her when she says something too blunt. She sighs and apologizes (half-heartedly.) 

・You’re the one wearing the pants in the relationship 

・Rosalie will defend you until her dying breath 

・She likes kissing your neck 

・Having a very avid sex life. She likes it when you’re the dom; taking charge and pushing her against a wall. 

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢

Your open mind and curiosity. Rosalie feels as though she’s trapped as a vampire. Always standing still, never moving forward. But you showed her that that isn’t true. You gave her hope. And continue to do so every day. You’re her reason to live. 

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑

Your best friend would be Alice! You have similar energy and would spend so much time together. You would learn a lot from each other; especially since Alice has lived for so long. She tells you about different styles and aesthetics, and she’ll love dressing you up. 

𝐕𝐢𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Ubbe Ragnarsson. I think he would be the most emotionally intelligent out of the men. He has a lot of curiosity and respect for new cultures. He has an open mind in that way, which links to that aspect of your personality. I think you would do well with someone who was able to see the deeper meaning of something. 

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・He’s actually a sook when he’s alone with you. He loves how caring and gentle you are with him. He needs tenderness. 

・So that means he has a mummy kink ... playing with your tits, biting, licking, and sucking. 

・Telling you about the dreams he has for your future. He loves talking to you.

・Knowing each other’s facial features so well that you can read whatever the other is feeling 

・He wants you to decide what he should do with his hair. Whether it’s braiding, shaving, tattooing etc

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢

Your smile. He loves making you smile. He’ll do the most insane things just to see it. It’s not as if you’re a moody/grumpy person, but there’s something about him being the reason you smile, that gives him butterflies. 

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑

Would be Torvi. I think she has a lot to say and is very wise, but thinks about what she wants to say a lot, which leads her to not speak much. You encourage her to say what she wants, and she loves hearing your thoughts. 

𝐏𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐲 𝐁𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬

𝐷𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛

I ship you with Ada Shelby! I think you two would be a match made in heaven. Absolutely getting each other. You’re zodiacs match up, but not only that, but your values as well. 

𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠

・Reading together in front of the fireplace. You would laze between her legs, your head resting on her stomach while you both have a book in front of you. 

・Knowing that you’re safe because you’re a part of the Shelby family. You can do whatever you want in Birmingham and there are no repercussions. 

・Having civilized debates together; hearing the other’s opinion without it getting heated

・Dates at the movie theatre, picnics, lazily drawing figures on each other’s naked bodies

・She likes being in charge, stripping you naked and kissing every inch of your body

𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑣𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢

Your intelligence, determination, and desire for knowledge. Ada values these qualities in herself - so when she met you, it was like she felt seen. Ada loves talking to you about literature, about philosophy, languages, and animals. Anything you’ve learned she loves to hear about it. 

𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑑

Your best friend is Esme - she would definitely connect with your cheerful and blithe personality. You’d gossip with each other, invite her for tea and meet her own family. She’s such an interesting person that feels so mysterious to others, but to you, she’s your good friend. 

[speci-society]

Haiii doll tumblr... haiiiiii

Heres a ranking of my top 7 favorite clothing pieces in my rainbow high collection pls enjoy also i wont be abke to recognize like. Any fashion or brand references. Except Sheryl's and like a couple others so sorrayy

(Also like.. idk a thing abt the technicalities of fashion. I just know what i like to put on dolls gjshfhsjdj dont take these as objective)

7. Gabriella's turtleneck

Idk what can i say, it just feels very Gabriella! It's fitting for her, and it's just a super nice color. I used to pretty firmly believe I wouldn't look good in a turtleneck (and tbh i don't really own many sweaters anyway) but i've warmed up to it the past couple years and i think im gonna get myself a nice one for the coming winter

6. Delilah's dress

I mean Delilah's probably my favorite RH character (not doll specifically but character) just based on her description (according to the fandom wiki, im like 99% sure i saw it on mga's website too at one point but now i cant find it??) being a sweet blue ridge country gal and all and like. What's more country blue ridge mountain buttercup than her dress tbh. It's just so pretty and delicate, it's one of those pieces i almost never wanna take off once its on a doll just bc its so nice. Also shoutout to her boots I will always shoutout cowboy boots

5. Tie between Daria's doc martens and jacket

Tbh i was going back and forth and which should be here bc I didn't wanna put 2 pieces from the same doll in 2 spots, but i think this spot fits them both bc i like them for largely the same reasons- they look good with a lot of my other dolls (not jist RH but a couple of my ooak monster highs) and they're pieces I'd want irl. Ive been trying to get my hands on some boots that are close enough to doc martens (even if they arent bc if they look cool idgaf abt the actual brand) and i got pretty close at a thrift store, but they were one size too small 😔 anyway good pieces. Shoutoht to Daria she was one of my first rh dolls

4. Sheryl's jacket

Hot (or possibly cold idk) take I don't think there's a single bad piece in either of Sheryl's outfits. They're all perfect. I have not yet seen clueless but its been in my "movies i need to watch over quarantine" list that i made in april 2020 since the beginning and i think this is a sign to watch it. Anyway the jacket's here bc it's the most iconic part imo, but like also shoutout to both of her heels, all of her 2nd outfit, the sheer top i've used for like four separate dolls outfits, the earrings, the belt, literally everything else etc etc

3. Krystal's Fishnets

This one's pretty simple- her fishnets are just really versatile! They're like real life fishnets. Goes with a lot! Looks good on pretty much anyone! Improves any situation! Fits my monster high ooaks! They also look great in them!

2. Natasha's fur coat

SO glamorous SO perfect literally everything i need to know about a character can fit in a fur coat. Ik theres other fur coats in rh but idc this is my fav. And also the only one in my collection but idc its the best one idc idc idc

1. Uma's hat

Uma holds a special place in my heart for the simple fact that she is a guitarist. And i am a guitarist. And we have similar hats. <3 but also like none of my other rh dolls have hats and hats for dolls are just good accessories but ESPECIALLY this hat specifically. Idk it just rly brings together the edgy punk kinda thing and she might feel incomplete without it tbh. But also i lile it bc its a lot like my favorite hat <3

(Also. Like sheryl. I don't think theres a single bad or mediocre piece in Uma's set? Maaaybe her kinda plain 1st outfit heels but they look good w the rest of the outfit tbh. Shoutout to her coat and skirt and earrings and spiked bracelet and shirts that i struggled not to put on this list also bc i didnt want 1 doll in 2 spots)

[beneathashadytree]

CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART (PART 3) - SHOTO TODOROKI X READER

Warnings : one or two cuss words, both Shoto and the reader are 15 until the last part where they are both 23, the last part is slightly suggestive (blink and you'll miss it), reader is female!

Genre : fluff, angst, hurt/comfort

Word count : 11.2K words (holy shit)

Synopsis : Sometimes, fate wills it that two similar souls entwine.

Click here to read part 1

Click here to read part 2

Requests : Are open! Check the rules over here.

Want to support me financially? Here’s my CashApp!

Masterlist

Only days later did they broach the subject. This time, they were lying down in Shoto's bed in his newly-appointed dorm, shoulders touching as they stared up at the ceiling.

"It makes sense that they'd keep my parents' villainy a secret from me," she admitted in a small voice, "Children are impressionable, after all."

After a slight pause came his reply, "I don't know, I don't think you're a child at all," Shoto mused, and she turned her head to face him, a questioning look on her face.

"What do you mean? I'm not a kid exactly, but I am still 15 after all."

Shaking his head, the white side of his hair splayed out beside him on the pillow, "I meant that you're quite mature and sensible. You don't behave childishly at all."

"You think so?" she hesitantly asked, hands clasped in front of her as she shifted to lie down on her side.

He nodded earnestly, "Yeah. It's one of the biggest reasons why I love you."

Before he registered the words that had come out of his mouth, her reaction reached him first: it was a mix between a squeak and a yelp that sounded too adorable for him to skip past. It took him a couple of seconds to realize what had garnered her attention, and he felt a little flustered under her sweet smile that reached her ears.

"You said it so casually, I almost missed it," she grinned wide, and he could only shrug.

"I thought how I felt was a bit obvious, though."

"Considering your usual personal boundaries, yeah," she relented, arms hooking around his neck as she hugged him tight, "Just to clarify things, I love you too, Shoto. You're very dear to me."

Squeezing her in his embrace, Shoto found himself absent-mindedly rubbing her back gently, eyes fluttering shut as he held her like that, the warmth seeping through his bones better than any flame that had ever licked his skin, reminding him of just how much affection he'd been missing out on his entire life.

***

It was Mina's fault the entire class found out.

Technically speaking, it was also Momo's fault for suggesting that they sit in the common room with the rest of the guys on the weekend, but Mina was the one who'd given the weather-hero-to-be the idea to braid her hair. Having never been given much attention at the orphanage before settling into the dorms earleir that week, she'd never bothered to style her hair in any special way---something the pink-haired girl was determined to change immediately.

And so, with a quiet 'thank you,' she found herself staring at herself in the mirror, looking quite elegant if she were to say so herself. A fleeting thought crossed her mind as the girls of 1-A all joint arms: wondering if Shoto would think she looked nice.

As though sensing her thoughts, Hagakure squeezed her arm reassuringly, "I don't know what's got you so antsy when you're normally so cool and collected, but you really do look great. Don't worry," the invisible girl enthused, causing her to crack a smile of her own as they headed downstairs.

With all the boys gaping at them, shell-shocked at the sight of their classmates looking all dolled up for no apparent reason, chaos ensued as they each fawned over them individually. Hearing the compliments thrown her way, she bashfully thanked each of them, only laughing as Kaminari patted her on the back and thanked her for convincing Jirou to wear a deep purple dress that he found "irresistible".

Pulled out of her short conversation with the blonde, the most important person in the room touched her arm from the couch. Tuning out the noise, she faced him, feeling a little self-conscious.

But she needn't have, because the words he spoke were simple but heart-felt, "You look quite gorgeous."

"Mina did my hair," she lamely added, not really knowing what to say when her boyfriend said things like that to her (though nothing had ever before garnered a reaction that intense).

He fondly smiled at her, his hand reaching out to gently touch her hair, transfixed by the strands woven together as his other hand rested on her arm.

"Mon dieu, what is happening over there?" Aoyama's loud exclamation interrupted her before she could open her mouth, and they jumped apart as though they'd been electrocuted when his finger pointed at them accusingly.

All 19 sets of eyes turned to them instantaneously, before the room exploded in a mix of cheers, screams, and groans.

"How come the forest animals never told me?"

"Why are all the hot ones taken, what the heck?!"

"Sato, shut Mineta up please."

"On it, Ojiro."

"Damn, now I owe Sero two thousand yen."

"I don't think you guys should've bet on them being together..."

"Don't bother with Kaminari, Shoji. At this point, he's both a hazard to himself and to society."

"Oh, shut up, Tokoyami! I'm broke now and it's all tape man's fault!"

"I told you to bet less, you're the one who insisted you'd win!"

This went on for quite a bit, the voices growing louder as they grew more incredulous. Only the group of close friends who'd been at Kamino ward (except for Bakugou who had already retired for the night earlier on) clapped them on the back and offered their well wishes, before it turned into a mini argument over when exactly they supposed they got together.

With every group now getting into mini fights with each other, the attention had shifted away from them, and she turned to her boyfriend whom she thought looked particularly handsome in the blue shirt that really made his eyes pop.

"You should style your hair like that more often. I think it's really pretty," he paused, before adding, "You're really pretty."

She was positive her face was flaming red, "I always think you're handsome too, but this shirt has to be my favorite on you," she admitted, toying with his collar absent-mindedly, meeting his eyes, "You think they'll notice if we spend some time together in your dorm room?"

"I don't think so," he gave a light laugh, clutching her hand and tugging her in the direction of the elevator, "Come on, I'll read you a bit of that new book I bought before you have to head back."

***

"My father wants to meet you."

She looked up from the shopping bags that weighed her down, to Shoto, who still carried a nonchalant face despite carrying twice the amount of shopping bags from the haul he'd insisted she'd go on, practically maxing out Enji's credit card without a second thought.

"Okay, when's the date?"

"You're fine with that?" he slowly asked, arching his eyebrows a little, "Not worried that he'll pester you about the Quirk marriage?"

"Not really, no," she thoughtfully said, trudging up the stairs of the Heights Alliance, "It's inevitable, isn't it?"

"I suppose, but I'm concerned as to how it'll affect you," his voice was quieter now as they stepped into the elevator to their dorms, "I don't want him to scare you off."

Shaking her head, she smiled warmly, "I don't think I'd mind him talking about something that's going to happen in our future."

The doors opened at that moment, and she left him with a shocked expression as she walked back to her dorm. He rushed out after her after being frozen in place for a few seconds, huffing as he tried to catch up with all the bags.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, aren't we already dating? Marriage is on the way eitherways," she shrugged, pulling out the clothes and odd bits for her room that he'd bought her, tucking them away very carefully as she spoke, "I know that's not necessarily the way things go, but neither of us would've bothered dating the other if we didn't feel like we were compatible," she paused, as though just realizing the assumption she'd made, mumbling under her breath, "At least, that's what I feel."

"No, no, you're right, I think so too," he was quick to reassure her, helping her rearrange her wardrobe as he handed her the things in the bags he'd been carrying, "I just don't want you to feel pressured."

"I think it takes a lot for me to feel stress," she spoke lightly, waving the thought off, "Nothing I wasn't prepared for beforehand, anyways."

"Still, he wants to invite us over on the day of our three months anniversary, and I'd planned on taking you out," he sounded a bit hesitant, as though still expecting her to somehow refuse.

Standing on her tiptoes to hang a navy blue winter coat, she laughed a bit, "Really, Shoto, it's fine by me. Meeting your dad is still important to me, even if it means we'd have to compromise on our plans for the day."

His shoulders relaxing, Shoto nodded, feeling warmth pool in his belly at the thought of how far ahead she'd seen them go on for. The thought triggered another, and he remembered something.

"Hey, I got you something," he softly said from behind her, gently tapping her fingers so he'd hold them.

Turning back to him, she hummed questioningly, and he fumbled with the pocket of his jeans, pulling out a small red pouch. He now had her full attention and curiosity, and she waited with baited breath to see what he'd bought.

He lightly fingered the braid in her hair with one hand, the other pulling out a small hairpin. It was shaped like a delicate butterfly, dressed in hues of burning crimson and cerulean, the colors shimmering as the crystals caught and reflected the light pouring in through the curtains.

"It's stunning," she breathed out, before frowning a little, "It must've cost a lot too."

Sighing, he kissed her so gently it felt as though a breezing was lightly touching her lips. His hand fiddled with her hair for a moment, and when he pulled away, she touched the top of her braid and found that he'd attached the clip.

"Suits you," he simply said, but the love in his eyes was all too clear that there was no point in masking it.

Basking in his affectionate gaze, she hugged him in thanks, right in the middle of the mess of overturned half-empty shopping bags that littered the floor, "It's lovely, just like you, Shoto."

***

"Do you think Endeavor'll get mad once he finds out we got married in secret in the end?"

Her whispers were quite hilarious, considering that they were safely tucked under the covers of their shared bedroom. The apartment was sound-proofed with the high-end technology provided by his salary anyways, so even if she were to scream it out loud, it wouldn't have been heard as anything other than a dull thump (if it were heard at all).

Shoto's grin from beside her was nothing she'd ever witnessed. Blissed out, the twenty-three year-old looked like he was on a high he could never come down from, and she reveled in the sight of him being so unabashedly happy like that.

"Definitely," he cheerily nodded, before reaching out to cup her face, "He's probably gonna be the angriest he's ever been."

She cuddled into his bare chest, her carefree smile matching his perfectly, "We better catch some sleep before he calls us having a fit."

Silently agreeing, he caught her lips in a languid, open-mouthed kiss, inhaling her scent sharply, before slowly pulling away and letting her warm naked body curl into him.

"Goodnight, Mrs. Todoroki."

"Night, love."

Taglist: @wifeofkyojuro @thispersoniscrazy @the-foreigner

[adobe-outdesign]

Reviews of All Scrapped Spaceword Betas

Exactly what it says in the title. This is also for my reference, as I might redesign some of these later for funsies. 

I’m only including Pokemon that were 100% scrapped (we’re not here to argue what might have become what) and aren’t evos/pre-evos of existing Pokemon. Also, I’m using the English fan-translations for the names because I don’t speak Japanese.

Flambear/Volbear/Dynabear

Our original fire starter, and yeah, I can see why this was scrapped. For starters (heh), it looks more like a rodent that evolves into a lion than anything resembling a bear. And secondly... it doesn’t really have a clear focus, nor a memorable design. It’s just kind of a rodent-bear thing with flames tacked onto it. 

The best Pokes usually have a "catch” to them, and these guys lack that. For example, this got replaced by Cyndaquil, which has the concept of flaming spikes that form out of its back. That’s memorable. This, well, isn’t.

Possible reason for being scrapped: Lack of focus/interesting design

Pokes to fill the void: Teddiursa and Ursaring are probably the closest in terms of being bears. Something about it also reminds me of Growlithe/Arcanine, probably because it’s a fluffy fire thing that evolves into a bigger fluffy fire thing with a mane and black markings.

Cruz/Aqua/Aquaria

This has the same problem as the Flambear line, just less extreme. It’s okay, being a little plesiosaur that evolves into a bigger plesiosaur, but it also lacks an interesting catch to it. The pearls are maybe something, but they’re not really emphasized, just kind of tacked on. Plus Dragonair kind of has the crystal neck ornaments on lock. And the horn. And the underbelly. And the water theme...

Whoops.

I definitely wouldn’t be opposed to a plesiosaur water starter in the future, but it would probably have to be completely redesigned.

Possible reason for being scrapped: Lack of focus/interesting design; too similar to Dragonair

Pokes to fill the void: Dragonair, as mentioned above. If you want a plesiosaur, Lapras is always a thing.

Putting the rest under the cut for length.

Sunmola1/Anchorage/Grotess

This is one of the most chaotic beta evolutions out there, aside from beta Girafarig. I can see the resemblance between Sunmola1 and Anchorage to some extent--counter-shaded blue fish with two fins and a short body--but the anchor part of the evolution comes out of nowhere. Then it sporadically turns into a gulper eel, which has nothing to do with the previous two evolutions at all.

I’ve heard some people suggest that Sunmola1 basically gets dragged into the depths and turns into a deep-sea creature due to its anchor, which is a fantastic idea. However, if that’s what they were going for here it’s not really clear, and I think it could be executed much better.

Individually, Sumola1 is a little plain. Not terrible, but I think they could do something more interesting with the little head thing. Anchorage is memorable, but there’s something very un-Pokemonish about it. I think it’s just the fact that it’s basically cut in half--I keep expecting the backsprite to show its organs or something. Grotess is also a bit too plain.

It’s also worth noting that at some point, this was the evolutionary line, which is more consistent but much less interesting (save for the middle evo’s eyes, which are pretty great).

Possible reason for being scrapped: Lack of evolutionary consistency; some designs plain or not very fitting for Pokemon

Pokes to fill the void: Alomomola is a sunfish Pokemon. Sharpedo is a shark crossed with an object, and Grotess almost certainly became Huntail and Gorebyss.

Rinring/Bellboyant

These two... are pretty good. They have a simple catch--black cats with bells--and the designs are nicely executed and memorable.

If I had one complaint, it’s that they maybe seems a tad unfocused in the backend of things. They’re dark types, but have a bunch of “cutesy” moves, and it’s not clear why’d they be dark apart from being black cats. They seem to have a magical girl vibe (Bellboyant looks a bit like Luna from Sailor Moon, which is probably not a coincidence), which also has nothing to do with the bells or the dark theme. I do think that the designs themselves are fine though, and that if you just focused on the sound concept a hair more you’d have a pretty great Pokemon.

Possible reason for being scrapped: Not entirely sure, these definitely would’ve been popular. Might’ve just been a balancing thing, or it lost the dev popularity contest. 

Pokes to fill the void: Skitty kind of has the same vibe as Rinring. They also remind me a bit of the Meowth line, being cat Pokemon with metal attached to them. The Purrloin line takes over the “dark-type cat” aspect.

Bomseel

I’m torn on this one. On the one hand, it’s a very plain looking Pokemon. The idea of it balancing a fireball/bomb on its nose instead of a ball is clever and memorable enough... except that it’s dependent on it being on that pose. It can’t balance that 24/7, and once it stops all you’re left with is a plain sea lion with dark points.

However, it’s fire/water. The only fire/water we have right now is a legendary, so it would be sweet to have one that’s just a regular poke. So it’s not that the concept itself is bad, using a water-based animal and adding a fire type; it’s just more that the execution is lackluster. Give this guy a hook not related to the fireball and make the seal itself more interesting and I think you’d have something here.

Possible reason for being scrapped: Lack of interesting design

Pokes to fill the void: Volcanion is our only fire/water Pokemon for now. In terms of seals/sea lions with a circus theme, Popplio is a decent enough match.

Tigrette/Electiger

Someone at Gamefreak hates tigerballs, because this line was planned for Gen 1, scrapped, then planned for Gen 2 and scrapped again. Which is strange, because while it’s not the best design it’s not bad either. It’s very very cute, and could definitely find an audience.

However, I’m not really sure what the premise is here. If it’s based on tiger clay bells, then it doesn’t really play into the bell theme much at all. And if it’s not... why is it so round? It’s not that the roundness is bad, but it would usually form the hook for this Pokemon, like it collects static electricity in its fur that makes it puff out or something. Maybe some dex descriptions would’ve made this clearer, who knows.

Also, Electiger is literally the exact same design as Tigrette, just bigger. It would either need a completely new final evolution or would need to show up as a single evo. 

While that sounds harsh, I do really like this design. Fix the evo, figure out/build on the hook of it being round or bell like, and maybe refine the markings a touch and it would be pretty perfect.

Possible reason for being scrapped: Not sure. Might’ve been too similar to Pikachu (both being yellow round electric type Pokemon with zig-zag tails, and og fat Pikachu was also very round). The need to rework the evolution also might’ve turned GameFreak off of it.

Pokes to fill the void: Spheal and Rowlet are both pleasantly round. Pikachu is cute and electric themed in a similar way. In terms of tigers, Raikou is also electric-type. The exact way the stripes are done here is also very similar to Litten.

Kurstraw/Pangshi

GameFreak. GameFreak, you are telling me that we almost had a voodoo-doll Pokemon based off of Ushi-no-Toki-Mairi that evolves into a fucking jiangshi panda?? You are killing me here.

A few interesting things to note here:

Kurstraw evolves at level 1. How? Why? No idea. It could just be a placeholder, but...

The fact that Kurstraw was set to have Curse as its signature move (then called “nail”) and that it only learned this move at level 100 makes it evolving at level 1 seem intentional.

To make things more confusing, it almost seems like (and this is speculation on my part) GameFreak’s intention was to encourage players to not evolve this thing. Stats are comparable, Kurstraw only gets its signature move if you level it up to where it can’t evolve, and Kurstraw has the better moveset (getting frigging destiny bond at lv. 16, while Pangshi gets... splash (which. makes more sense when you consider it’s called “hop” in Japan but it’s still useless). If that was what they were aiming for, then that’s a really unique mechanic that would really make this poke stand out.

Design wise, Kurstraw is... well, it’s a doll with a nail rammed through it. Nothing wrong with that, but it’s not very Pokemon-ish. Meanwhile, Pangshi is maybe a little too much like a Jianshi rather than being reminiscent of one, right down to the little hat. The pose, fangs, and panda colors (which resemble Jiangshi mandarin robes) are more than enough to get the hook across.

What I really love about these two are the expressions. They are just like, so dissonantly happy. Kurstraw is literally like

and Pangshi has the dead-eyed thousand-yard stare of Espurr, except unlike Espurr it looks completely and utter deranged. It looks like if this Pokemon ended up in Mystery Dungeon, it would respond to every question with “my favorite color is blood”. Amazing.

Possible reason for being scrapped: I think these two might’ve been scrapped just because they were too scary. I mean, it’s a voodoo doll impaled on a giant nail that evolves into a literal actual corpse. The implied violence was probably just a bit much for GameFreak.

The reason I think this is, beside the fact that they have fairly solid designs, good hooks, and all of their stats and moves in place, most beta Pokemon have had their premises revisited at some point. But we’ve really never gotten a voodoo doll Pokemon since this, and we definitely haven’t gotten any jiangshi Pokemon either, which suggests the problem lied in the very concept rather than the execution.

Pokes to fill the void: People say that Kurstraw was reworked into Banette, but if anyone Pokemon resembles it to be, it would actually be Mimikyu. They both have cloth bodies with drawn-on smiley faces that resemble something cuter than them and they both want to curse you for existing.

For Pangshi... well, there’s Pancham if you’re looking for tiny pandas. If you’re after a jiangshi though, you’re out of luck.

Wolfman/Warwolf

This Pokemon has a great hook. I mean, a Pokemon that wears a pelt that transforms it into a werewolf? Hell yeah. Not to mention it might be a reference to an obscure Nordic tale about people donning wolf pelts to turn into wolves for ten days.

Design wise, it... well, Wolfman looks almost exactly like Venonat. I’m not the only one who sees this, right?

That aside, I think the idea could be played up a little more. Wolfman is fine, save for its Venonat-ishness, but Warwolf doesn’t do much for me, basically just being a larger version with claws and fangs. If the idea is that it turns into a werewolf by wearing the pelt, what if its evolution looked somewhat like a wolf? Or better yet, the actually body of the thing changes to fill the wolf skin more, so it looks like its a part of it? That would really elevate this Pokemon to a new level.

Possible reason for being scrapped: I’d guess that it’s the same problem as Kurstraw and Pangshi--too scary. I mean, that is a dead pelt of some kind, which means that it killed and skinned some kind of Pokemon, and that’s not getting into questions of what Pokemon they got that from.

It’s also worth noting that when we did finally get a werewolf Pokemon via Lycanroc, it was minus the pelt concept.

Pokes to fill the void: Lycanroc as our werewolf Pokemon. In terms of design, Venonat is very similar as noted above. And something about it really reminds me of Snorunt, being little critters with glowing eyes that wear a cloak of some kind and live in the cold (this line was ice-type).

[crushcardvirus]

bakura ask game

favorite thing about them

I just find this kid FASCINATING okay what’s his fucking DEAL. also the ‘tried to make a cool and collected male character and he just came out autistic’ syndrome which affects 50% of ygo men. and i straight up think his character design is rlly cute. scrunkly

least favorite thing about them

CAN WE GET THIS MAN A CHARACTER ARC PLEASE jesus christ. it's okay i have my own conception of him in my brain and i think it's interesting to explore him as a character who kind of got 'left behind' by the narrative yea

favorite line

It has to be ‘My name is Ryou Bakura. I won’t let you hurt my friends. I’ll fight too!’ like! I love that moment a lot like ryou asserting himself and his identity like that should have been the climax of his character arc. special mention to all his wretched fucking dubbed anime dialogue because it’s all the FUNNIEST shit ever. Check his pulse Yugi!!!!! never fails to make me lose it it’s such a stupid thing to say. why did they make him say that

brOTP

HIM AND MAI PRANKING JOU WAS SO MEAN BUT SO FUCKING FUNNY i love that and him being like heyy jou check out my deck full of ghosts and creepy dolls :) they're really funny and good for Antics. honestly i love these kids' friendship group they're the best. i kind of want to see ryou interact one on one with anzu, i think it would be interesting bc i feel like she'd have the lowest tolerance for Weird Bakura Shit out of all of them and also he's like. canonically afraid of girls. it would be funny is what i'm saying

OTP

I like most ryou ships. Untapped infinite boyfriend supply. But angstshipping is my fav :) I restrained myself from rambling about why I like it in my malik answer but like. 1) both insane 2) similar experiences 3) very different personalities that mesh in interesting ways 4) it would be really really funny

nOTP

I don’t really have one? I don’t much like te.nd.ershipping bc that’s not how i read their relationship but i’ve seen it done really well a few times. Sorry this makes it sound like I hate yami bakura and want him to have no bitches. unfortunately this is the case

random headcanon

I love when people hc ryou as a doll collector bc 1) it's really cute and fitting and 2) i collect dolls so it's like. Haha . I do that. He's definitely got a bunch of random porcelain (potentially haunted) dolls but I think he would like some of the weirder fashion dolls and BJDs too.

unpopular opinion

[pulls down the box labelled RYOU THOUGHTS on the shelf in my brain]

i think what ryou gets out of letting yami bakura take over his life is. a fucking break. my reading of him is like 20% projection and 50% that one character chart but he seems to be someone very disconnected from reality, and while not malignantly self-centered maybe not the type to fully consider how his actions affect the people around him. he has the same Weird Manchild energy that a lot of ygo characters have- pegasus comes to mind actually- and man. i just think he's very lonely and doesn't really know who he is or what he wants or how to be a person. he knows he should put up more of a fight against YB but he really can't face school today, okay????

song i associate with them

Mistaken for Strangers by The National please listen to it for ryou vibes that will make you miserable and also a banger of a song. i will draw a lyricstuck w/ it for him one day

favorite picture of them

Weed ryou

weed ryou

[nutty1005]

“A Dream Like A Dream” Fan Review Report by 十月息

Original Article: https://weibo.com/6574125081/KcrfzBjYL?type=comment#_rnd1619312989712 Original Author: 十月息

(TN: This is the translation of the famous 10,000 character repo on Weibo, so be warned that this is very long article. Permission to translate granted by OP.)

Part 1 – Review of Xiao Zhan’s Acting According to the Script

Finding Patient No. 5 B

At the start of the play, there were many people surrounding the stage, I was very frantically searching for Xiao Zhan. One of the ladies besides me patted me and said, that one with the messenger bag! After that I immediately found him. His legs were really long! So, at the start of the play, watch out for the messenger bag! (That was the look in the waiting photo.) After this, I was following him around using my binoculars, hahaha.

Patient No. 5 and His Wife’s Initial Encounter

This part was very interesting. No. 5 was queuing behind his wife, then still a stranger, and buying movie tickets, and his wife had an argument with her then lover on the phone, and rashly stuffed her other movie ticket and grilled corn cob into No. 5’s hands. When handed the movie ticket, No. 5 was still able to comprehend, but after he was given the corn cob, he was starting to get confused — Xiao Zhan’s No. 5 widened his eyes, stared at the corn cob in his hand, and then turned around and looked around, looked at the people queuing behind him. In the next second, the 7 or 8 people behind him magically took out their own corn cob, as though getting a corn cob at the movies was a perfectly normal thing to do, and if No. 5 did not have one he would be out of place. There was full comedic effect, the whole theater laughed, No. 5 was embarrassed as he turned around and entered the cinema holding the corn cob. Starting from here, we could see that No. 5’s body language had completely corresponded with that of a comedic trope, it was relaxed and lively, and even when he met with unexpected situations, it was clumsily adorable.

Patient No. 5 Eating Sushi with His Wife

This segment was at the stage left, which also happened to be my visual blind spot, so I could only see the projection from the big screen, which was very regrettable. His wife said the the person she just argued with on the phone was a pig, and she did not want to talk about it, so when No. 5 mentioned that person, he used snorting to represent him, “…. that *snort snort*…”, that snorting was in imitation of a pig, it was really too cute! Xiao Zhan had also snorted in “Our Song”, here, No. 5’s snorting was even more lively, to the point that I was stunned, took 2 seconds to react in my brain that, oh my goodness that was actually Xiao Zhan snorting! It was simply too cute!!

His wife had squeezed a large amount of wasabi on the sushi, No. 5 said “no one puts so much wasabi”, (TN: Chinese had their own term for wasabi, jiemo, but Xiao Zhan used the Japanese term instead), I really loved it when he used languages other than Chinese, I just felt that it encompassed so much cuteness, moreover it was with the Taiwanese accent that belonged to No. 5, it was even more adorable. Both of them ate that wasabi laced sushi, and coughed wildly due to the irritation, Xiao Zhan was coughing so vigorously, by the sound of it I thought he was going to cough out his lungs, just exactly as though he really ate a huge amount of wasabi. But amazingly, his voice was exceptionally clear while coughing, perhaps because his voice for lines had became deeper more robust, in comparison, he did not deliberately deepen his voice while coughing, so he sounded literally like a young man.

No. 5 continued to chat with his wife, in this conversation, No. 5’s Taiwanese accent was even more obvious, which once again became part of my adorable collection of “Xiao Zhan’s various accents”, I was quietly punching the air in my mind!

His wife told him that she had never seen her father before, and she was unable to face him, No. 5 then told his wife to close her eyes and give it a try, she was initially unwilling, No. 5 coaxed her gently, and then she closed her eyes. Thereafter, No. 5 started talking in a old man’s voice deliberately, “My girl! Turn around and look at Papa! Papa owed you too much, forgive Papa, I’ve also missed you terribly! My good child! Papa bought a very beautiful doll to meet you!” Everyone could attempt to see how you would sound like when you talk in an older voice deliberately, it would definitely be quite funny, when Xiao Zhan acted it live, it was even more funny, the audiences laughed heartily. What made me even more excited was that this was the only the beginning of No. 5’s story, but I had already heard Xiao Zhan snorting like a pig, Xiao Zhan speaking Japanese, Xiao Zhan coaxing people, Xiao Zhan talking like an old man, I felt as though I was exploring all the different voices of Xiao Zhan! When Xiao Zhan spoke like an old man, it was also very cute!

Almost forgot a very important point, that is from this old man act and the snorting previously, we could actually see that No. 5 was very good at flirting, and it was the sort that was very natural and well practiced! In the instant as he acted as an old man, besides laughing with the audiences, I also thought in envy, good job young man, you are flirting again and again! I just had to say this, Xiao Zhan’s No. 5 was really very charming in and out.

Patient No. 5 Begging The Doctor to Save His Child

This part seemed ordinary based on the script, but you would only feel the amazement when watching it live! When looking at the script, it seemed like only the wife was begging the doctor, but in fact I remembered that it was his wife who stood further away from the doctor as she carried the child, No. 5 was beside the doctor, just like the stage photo shared by XZ Studio. His wife was more emotional from start till end, No. 5 was initially more calm, and even looked back to signal his wife to calm down. But later on as the doctor kept rejecting him, No. 5 started to lose the controlled calmness on the surface: he turned around and kneeled before the doctor, begging pitifully, his voice full of hurt and pain, with an agonizing crying tone. In here, his emotional progression to explosive was not that long, but it was very excellent, that moment he was just a father of a child, with an unbearable pain of loss on his shoulders. The doctor continued to refuse, No. 5 said no more, and the whole theater went silent.

Patient No. 5 Getting His Wife to Pick Up the Phone

After the child passed away, the relationship between No. 5 and his wife drifted apart, and No. 5 contacted that strange disease. At the same time, he started receiving calls in the middle of the night, but no one spoke after he picked up. There was one night, it was rare that No. 5 was at home with his wife, and he picked up that call again. No. 5 yelled into the receiver for a long time but yet no one replied, so he yelled at it, “I’m going to fight it out with you… after all, the telephone fee’s on you!” His tone was incensed, but yet the words he used were exceptionally funny, it was supposed to be a scary suspense story, but it wore the cape of a comedy.

The lines following that were similar. No. 5 finally yelled at the receiver, “Fine, I’m done playing with you today!” Till then it was still quite normal, but unexpectedly before he hung up he suddenly yelled another line: “Good! Night!” This type of contrast continued to add comedic colors to the play, because No. 5 was actually speaking harshly, but in the end he still politely said good night, but yet that good night was still harsh and irate. I believed that no matter how unclear the image of No. 5 was in the audiences’ hearts, in this moment they would definitely feel that No. 5 had a cuteness stemming from the contrast in his personality, he was interesting, cute and lively.

I feel that this was something that was hard to control in performance. On a whole, “A Dream Like A Dream” was a very serious and standard play, and would occasionally use comedic tropes to balance the heavy keynote. Hence when actors were performing, they had to say those random lines in a serious tone, and if done too lightly, the audiences would not feel that it was funny, but if done too heavily, it would destroy the pace of the story. Whereas Xiao Zhan’s performance was simply just right, it allowed audiences to easily understand the funny bits, but yet it did not breakaway from the general tone of the story. I remembered when we studied or appreciated ancient poems in high school, there was this term called “using lively music to contrast sorrow”, in fact “A Dream Like A Dream” was like this. The more amusing the funny parts were, after the audiences were done laughing and continued to immerse themselves in the story, the heavier they would feel.

Following this was the part, which Xiao Zhan angrily yelled at his wife to pick up the call, that many reports had mentioned. There was actually a progression, the script as below, the parts in parenthesis was how I remembered it was acted out:

No. 5: It's your turn to pick it up. (His tone was quite calm）

His Wife: What for do I pick it up? No. 5: It could be for you. (He was starting to raise his voice)

His Wife: How could that be?

No. 5: Secret lover! You should pick it up. (You could hear the anger)

His Wife: Why?

No. 5: Because it is yours. (His tone had already went from questioning to factual) Every time he calls, not long after, you would return, I think he hasn't finished talking to you. (This looked like narration, but in fact when Xiao Zhan said this he was speaking hastily, already at the brink of exploding, his voice was very loud, and was starting to ring in the audiences' ears. In reality when someone hears a tone like this, we would subconsciously avoid it, as we feel that this person would explode the very next second.) You pick it up. (I was starting to shake)

His Wife: For what? It's not mine. (I was starting to fear for his wife, I mean was this not adding oil to the fire? Please don't... I was praying this in my heart, because the very next moment, lightning was going to strike!)

No. 5: PICK IT UP! [TN: The word used was a single syllable, jie.]

Just that word, the tone was so harsh, I could say that I have never encountered this in my life; the sound was so loud, it almost deafened me, the word was echoing within the hall, and gave me a feeling that when Xiao Zhan yelled out this word, he was also resonating with it. My father’s temper was not that good, and he would yell at me when I was a child, his voice was loud enough, but I actually felt that it was not as loud as a third of Xiao Zhan’s. Not only the voice was loud, the tone was very fierce, so fierce that if he was your boss, you would have kneeled before him, if he was one of your peers, you would have felt weakness in my legs and could not even run away if you wanted to. At that time in the theater, I was truly frightened, I felt as though my heart had frozen in my chest, and then there were palpitations, I felt as though all the yelling I had received previously were not worth mentioning. The whole theater definitely had a fright, because after Xiao Zhan yelled it, the whole theater was silent, not just ordinary silence when watching a play, but even the sounds of breathing stopped, the air was scarily quiet.

Patient No. 5 Searching for His Wife among the Passersby

No. 5 and his wife went to watch another movie, just like how they first met. When queuing, his wife went out to pick up a call, and suddenly disappeared, No. 5 started searching for her everywhere. Over here as well, I did not feel that it was very emotional when reading the script, No. 5 was like going through the process of looking for his wife, but when I actually watched the performance, it was another of Xiao Zhan’s highlight.

No. 5 was holding onto the grilled corn cob, and grabbed hold of a passerby, asked, “Sorry, can I ask if you saw my wife?” but this passerby did not hear him. No. 5 continued to run forward, the other passersby were stoic and slow, No. 5 frantically walked through them and seemed especially out of place. He grabbed the next passerby, continued asking, “Excuse me, did you see my wife?” The passerby continued to ignore him. I don’t know how to explain this specifically, as these two lines were similar, but the emotions in No. 5 was obviously changing, the sense helplessness and breakdown that was transmitted through his tone and his body language completely grabbed the hearts of the audiences.

No. 5 continued to grab passersby, asked, “Sorry, did anyone see a lady holding two grilled corn cobs? Her hair is slightly yellow, she’s very pretty, her eyes are very big…” “Excuse me, did you see my wife? She’s of mixed race, she never saw her father, our child died, she’s very upset… I’m really not feeling well… did anyone see?” I believe that even if I did not describe Xiao Zhan’s tone, we could see from the lines that No. 5 had already went from precise questioning to emotional rambling, the lines contained family background information unrelated to the search. In the final questioning, he was already in crying tones.

After countless of his question left ignored, No. 5 finally despaired, he stopped in his tracks, broke down and shouted, “Did anyone see my wife?! She just bought two grilled corn cobs!!!” This howl completely used all his strength and was even hysterical, it was filled with helplessness, despair and utter collapse. This lines actually contained comedy, since who would have brought up grilled corn cob at this point in time? But No. 5 did, and this was similar to what I said previously about “using lively music to contrast sorrow”, the more ridiculous the trope was, the better the contrast could highlight the sorrow in the reality, and in reality most of the tragedies did not happen like a Shakespearean story, but accumulated from the smallest and most ridiculous things.

In comparison to the doctor scene, I felt that this No. 5 broke my heart even more… Because he asked different people again and again, but he was ignored and tossed aside, bit by bit, he despaired and broke down… He used all of his strength but he could not do anything, except cry and howl helplessly…

Patient No. 5 and Jiang Hong at the Laundromat

This was a completely propless performance, with the exception of a laundry basket, there was no props, so Xiao Zhan was performing with the air as he opened the washing machine, took his clothes, folded them and placed them in the laundry basket. But his movements were very natural and ordinary, it was not deliberate, you could understand what he was doing with a look, i.e. that sequence of actions I mentioned previously. The way he folded (air) clothes was very cute, and there was the part that he did not know how to use the washing machine, and was poking poking poking at the air, that was also super cute! Haha.

Patient No. 5 at Jiang Hong’s Apartment

After No. 5 caught his disease, his posture, etc, had started displaying the weakness of his illness, Xiao Zhan very accurately portrayed this point, no matter whether it was his walking speed or his hunched back, as well was occasional coughing and panting, constantly reminded audiences that No. 5 was a terminal patient with not many days left. However in comparison to these, what best displayed No. 5’s illness was when he went up the staircase to Jiang Hong’s apartment, Jiang Hong stayed on the 7th floor, every time No. 5 went upstairs it felt like an ordeal and a massive challenge, he kept holding onto the handrails (which of course did not exist, there were no staircases onstage, he was acting with air), he would rest every 2 steps, panting, and made us feel that No. 5’s health was rapidly leaving his body.

After this was basically the envy inciting scene of the whole play. Jiang Hong’s apartment was very small, No. 5 could only sit on her bed. So we slowly watched how No. 5 and Jiang Hong got closer and closer… Amitabha. I do not want to describe it in detail, ｡･ﾟﾟ･(>д<)･ﾟﾟ･｡. There was this part that was very cute, Jiang Hong said, “No other person ever lived in this space. When I first moved in there wasn’t even space to have a cat, but now there’s a man, when he lies down, he uses up the whole bed.” After the line ended, Xiao Zhan basically laid on the bed in a 大 shape, instantly occupying the whole bed, both of his legs even extended beyond the bed. The audiences laughed at that moment, and I also directly understood even more that Xiao Zhan is really tall! Big sized! Before that when Xiao Zhan curled on his side on the bed, he was still very big.

Patient No. 5 and Jiang Hong’s Couple Details

It was not that moment of intimacy that made me envious, but it was the continued subconscious intimacy that really made me envious. No. 5 and Jiang Hong became a couple, they were like they had been together for a very long time, the intimacy was natural and well practiced. When she and No. 5 walked together, he would hold her hands; when they stood side by side, he would hold her waist; when they spoke face to face he would look down at her, very focused on her eyes, as though only she existed in the world, and would also gently stroke the back of her head, or smooth her hair; sometimes No. 5 would even slightly adjust her collar… etc, every detail was exceptionally natural.

When No. 5 and Jiang Hong went to see a gypsy with spiritual powers, that person told No. 5 to look at the crystal ball like how he would look at his lover, No. 5 turned around, looked up and looked lovingly at Jiang Hong standing behind him, saying coquettishly, “Yup, looking at my lover,” just like a willful boy in his first relationship who is unable to leave his lover. In that moment I became extremely envious.

Patient No. 5 and Jiang Hong at Normandy

This section is completely No. 5’s highlight!

At the start in the town’s hotel, the Grandpa gave No. 5 a flower circlet, No. 5 took it and placed it on his head. This was just right on stage left, which was my blind spot, I could only see it from the blurry screen, I was so angry and regretful! I could only imagine Tang San wearing the flower circlet, when Xiao Zhan wore it live it would definitely look a lot better, I could not see that with my own eyes, that was the biggest regret of my life ｡･ﾟﾟ･(>д<)･ﾟﾟ･｡.

When entering the hotel, the receptionist said it was 1,550 Francs per night, Jiang Hong immediately felt that it was too expensive and tugged No. 5, but No. 5 was instead very relaxed and yet unyielding as he said, “It’s almost the same, it’s all this price! It’s reasonable!” “No matter, I want it, I’m paying.” And then he pulled Jiang Hong into the hotel. That time I could only think, good job dude, that was how an unreasonable boss trope should be like!

No. 5 and Jiang Hong went to have a meal in the hotel, but however the rule of the restaurant was formal wear, but both No. 5 and Jiang Hong were in casual wear, so the host gave No. 5 a tie, No. 5 was to wear the tie and take a seat. In the script, it was No. 5 who tied his own tie, but in Xiao Zhan’s version, he did not continue to tie it himself, instead he raised his chin and leaned his neck over, signaling Jiang Hong to tie for him. My goodness, this part was seriously too sweet, I started complaining in my heart at this dude ｡･ﾟﾟ･(>д<)･ﾟﾟ･｡… I am not sure if everyone watched a behind-the-scenes from “Superstar Academy”, where Xiao Zhan finished a drink (or tidbits, I cannot remember), and he just waved the cup in his hand, requesting the co-actress beside him to take it, and then the actress simply took it. His sort of natural ability to influence the opposite gender really makes me fall head over heels for him.

No. 5 and Jiang Hong were mistaken for Japanese, the two of them went back to their room and started conversing in synthetic Japanese, this was really No. 5 at the peak of his cuteness!!! No. 5 gave Jiang Hong a gentlemanly bow, and said “Hi!” in Japanese accent multiple times, the tone was both serious and flippant at the same time. No. 5 also said “Ah li ga duo” for arigatou. When No. 5 was describing guns to the French waitress, he use the onomatopoeia “Bang bang!”, with finger guns action, super cute. He also said “Duo La A Mong” for Doraemon, “Sa yo na la” for sayonara, and most select phrases mentioned in countless reports were “Ka wa yi” for kawaii and “Da me da me” for dame dame, these phrases did not exist in the script, they were basically his own creation. My description of that scene was basically like this:

When he said “Ka wa yi”, he placed his palms on his cheeks like a flower shape, and dragged the “yi” sound, the tone was slightly coquettish; when he said “Da me da me”, he swished his hands around (similar to a orchestra conductor), his tone was coquettish but also lilting.

After he said these two phrases, the audiences were no longer calm, many of them were sniffing in envy and these sounds filled the hall. I almost fainted at the spot, blanked out and stared at the ceiling, wondering how lucky I was to be able to hear Xiao Zhan said “Da me”, and in a coquettish manner, who was I where was I, I must had been dreaming.

No. 5 also told Jiang Hong “Ah yi xi tie lu”, which was “I love you” in Japanese. This phrase in Japanese is actually very formal, because in normal circumstances, the Japanese would use “suki” to confess their affection, which meant “I like you”, “I love you” was very rare. Then No. 5 placed his arms on Jiang Hong’s shoulders and hugged her, looked lovingly down at her eyes, his expression full of emotion and tease, and said every syllable with a pause “Ah, yi, xi, tie, lu”. That moment I hated myself, I wondered why I had to understand Japanese, why!

Following this is another highlight of No. 5, when he was mistaken as an artist he gave a speech in the restaurant, in the script, there was this big segment of lines, it was slightly different from what Xiao Zhan said in the play, but in general it was the same:

"From that day when a disease that I don't recognize found me, everything changed. I had no choice! Did I know this virus? Why did it come to me? I don't know. But it just came! Just like you said that until now there are still children in Cambodia with a missing limb due to mines! The war had already ended for 25 years! Who placed the mines? Did he know that child? Where did such great hatred came from, that you had to blow up someone you didn't know? How different am I from that child? He is just like you and I, that one day, standing under the sun, standing on the road, and suddenly, bang! It's over! The 'freedom' we yell about everyday is just bullshit! How could we have choices?!..."

I felt that I had to type out this section in full because I felt that Xiao Zhan’s live performance had to be appreciated with this section. Frankly speaking, when I first saw the original script, I felt that here, No. 5 was just someone who was very adaptable to the sudden situations, able to talk his way out, so I did not really look into the contents of this section. At that point in time, there were people who also posted this part online, but I felt that it was making a mountain out of a molehill when we place Xiao Zhan’s personal experiences along side it, No. 5 appeared to be making up a speech without much deeper meaning. When I saw Xiao Zhan himself performing this part, I realized that I was too flippant then: Xiao Zhan really had the ability to help his audience empathize, when he said this section, it felt as though every word struck my heart, as though there were other hidden meanings, especially when he said these two lines “Where did such great hatred came from, that you had to blow up someone you didn’t know?” and “The ‘freedom’ we yell about everyday is just bullshit!”, I really had instant flashbacks to the unpleasant memories of 2020… I always felt that hardship is just hardship, there is never a need for us to be thankful to it, but I had to admit, for Xiao Zhan to walk to this stage, he had went through the trials and tribulations of hardship.

Patient No. 5 and Gu Xianglan’s Kiss

In the script there were no kissing scenes between Young Patient No. 5 B and Young Gu Xianglan (by Xu Qing), i.e. the video clip that was posted by Yanghua Theatre on the 22nd. So that day, the last scene of the upper half, everyone exclaimed (of course, a big part of it was that no one guessed that there would be other kissing scenes besides that with Jiang Hong). In the video clip, No. 5 and Gu Xianglan walked slowed to each other, their shadows overlapped, their faces slowly overlapping into a kiss, it told a story, and that sense was even stronger when watched live. Just that the live performance did not have the later half of the clip, that is after they kissed they slowly separated, during live the two of them kissed using the trick of positioning and then the lights dimmed, and with that, the upper half ended.

No. 5 wore a leather jacket with jeans, Gu Xianglan wore cheongsam; No. 5 was from modern Taiwan, Gu Xianglan was from the 1930s Shanghai. So as they slowly moved towards each other face-to-face, there was really the sense that two eras were slowly merging and overlapping, the feeling was very wondrous, almost as though there was a time and space disorder, yet there was also a sense of revolving fate that merged the past and present, East and West, and created this love story that transcended space and time. I had to say that this additional scene was really fantastic, it had such a sense of story and of fate that it could match the scene of 2 different Gu Xianglans walking in the long corridor of illusion and shadow, which would really stir the audiences’ curiosity and wonder.

Hence, I surmised that the script for this tour had made some changes, No. 5 would likely be Baron’s reincarnation, confirmed when the dying Old Gu Xianglan laid on her bed, holding Xiao Zhan’s No. 5 B’s hands, and directly called him “Henry”.

Patient No. 5 on the Hospital Bed

Over here I really wanted to punch myself, I clearly read the script, but yet I forgot that in the second half, the person on the hospital bed would be No. 5 B! I entered the hall early, and I long saw the doctor at the hospital bed aiding the patient’s breathing, but I really did not pay much attention, I was so regretful!! After the show started, No. 5 started talking, the whole hall started to exclaim as they realized that oh dear, that was Xiao Zhan!

Wearing the patient gown, Xiao Zhan seemed even more ill, looked especially frail, weak, and immediately reminded me of Xianxian in the red undergown, I believe when I said this, everyone would have the image in their mind.

Patient No. 5 with the Dying Gu Xianglan

Old Gu Xianglan laid on the hospital bed, Xiao Zhan’s No. 5 sat by it, his left hand had always been on Gu Xianglan’s back, gently patting and soothing Gu Xianglan, never stopped, I had been staring for a long while. I kept feeling that this was especially “Xiao Zhan”, because Xiao Zhan himself is just that gentle and considerate.

Gu Xianglan narrated her story until she was short of breath and passed away, No. 5’s gaze had never left her, and he held her hand. No. 5 was like just like that, quietly watching Gu Xianglan until she passed away, he did not say anything, but his compassionate expression, slightly furrowed brows, exuded a strong sense of unspeakable sorrow gushing out from his body. As I wrote this part, my mind would sometimes flash back to the scene of No. 5 sitting by the bedside, and suddenly I would feel like weeping.

Patient No. 5 Reading a Letter at Jiang Hong’s Apartment

No. 5 returned to the apartment where he and Jiang Hong lived, and from under the floorboards he found a letter, he was simply kneeling as he read the letter, and kneeled for a very long time. “Hi, the person with the fever…” As he kneeled there, I could only see his back, and I just kept watching his back, listening to him read the first few lines of the letter and after which Jiang Hong continued, I felt that there was nothing else in my heart, I was very upset, but yet my tears were locked in my eyes. I stared at his pointed toes and the long, long legs in jeans, stared at the hands that were grasping the letter. Once again, No. 5 encountered another separation of a lifetime, and I knew that I was going to bid farewell to him as well.

Before the Passing of Patient No. 5

Here, No. 5 A laid on the bed talking, while Xiao Zhan’s No. 5 B stood around 1m away at the left side of the bed, looking at No. 5 A. Here is the most obvious display of compassion from No. 5, because he stood for a long time, so I kept staring at him — his gaze was gentle and sorrowful, looking at the other version of him lying on the bed almost reaching the end of his life, I wondered what he was thinking of? Xiao Zhan’s eyebrows were especially good looking, I kept thinking that if I studied him from a certain distance, the first thing I would see would be his eyebrows, and that was something I did not think would happen when I looked at him via a video on my mobile phone screen. His eyebrows were just too good at conveying emotion, if it was relaxed I would feel relaxed as well, when it frowned I would feel upset as well. No. 5 kept his brows furrowed, it was melancholy and sorrowful, he did not need to have tears in his eyes, he could convey emotions with his brows.

Finally, No. 5 A stopped breathing, and the light on No. 5 B dimmed, he was slowly consumed by darkness, in that instant I felt as though my heart had been drowned by sorrow, I kept on staring at Xiao Zhan, and unwittingly as I wrote to this point, tears started brimming in my eyes.

Patient No. 5’s A Cappella

The lyrics to the song was like this in the script:

Did anyone, see my face before? I think I remembered, I think I forgot, You used to wander in my dreams; I think I remembered, I think I forgot, I used to sing in your story; I think I remembered, I think I forgot.

At this point, all the actors will take out candles, Gu Xianglan A would ring a bell, all the actors will blow out their candles, and the play ends. I wrote on Weibo that this part wrote a cappella: Xiao Zhan sang it at the end, I was literally shaking. It was clearly a cappella, without any instrumental music or sound effects, but it was particularly ethereal and pleasant. It sounded like I went to a tall and quiet church, and listened to the choir’s singing. His voice came with its own bass. There was really this sense of sanctity, which made you feel as though any stray thoughts would be a blasphemy. I was clearly seated at an elevated location, but spiritually I felt that I was looking up at him. It was almost surreal, a dreamlike illusionary existence.

When I was seated in the hall, I was more excited, because I remembered that there was still the curtain call and gratitude ceremony. Now, reviewing this with the script, I am completely immersed in the sorrowful atmosphere of the script, and as I recall Xiao Zhan’s a cappella, I am now especially upset, and I miss him terribly.

Part 2 – Praising Xiao Zhan from All Different Angles

What Was Xiao Zhan’s Role (DUH)

At the start, No. 5 was an architect, a salary man, as he hurried on the streets, the sense of salary man was really obvious. After he met his wife, he started his flirtation mode, which was a humorous and interesting young man. After he had a child and as he carried that child, he was really like a father, I almost yelled “Daddy” in my heart! After that he fell sick, and no matter where and when, he was able to portray the sense of someone who had an illness.

Xiao Zhan’s Lines

Before the start of the show, Xiao Zhan broadcasted the important notice, his voice was like a newscaster, the XFXs around me could not believe it was him. In the hall, the voice was especially vigorous and magnetic, which was quite different from how he was like in previous interviews, overall it was especially pleasant, it felt like he changed his vocalization method, there was probably more technique into it.

Secondly, his pronunciation was very clear and professional, I could hear every word clearly, and when he was at stage left where I could not see him, I pretended I was listening to a radio show. No. 5 was from Taiwan, hence Xiao Zhan specially spoke with a Taiwanese accent, very natural and very cute. His emotions were very very on point! When he was coquettish his voice slightly lingered, when he yelled it was fierce, when he was sad it was sorrowful… When he was joking, it was as though every sound he made had a smile, when he was stern it was very shocking! “Ka wa yi” and “da me” were my top favorite!

Xiao Zhan’s Body and Face

Xiao Zhan’s No. 5, his back was hunched, he occasionally coughed, and we could see that his style of walking was different from Xiao Zhan’s: No. 5 was ill, he frequently had fevers, and he would tire when he went upstairs. From the play, we could say that we could not see the healthy and strong Xiao Zhan at all, we would only feel that he was No. 5 with a terminal illness, that was acting and character portrayal from in to out. But when he bowed with his back facing me, I still could clearly see the lines from his back muscles pushing against his shirt.

His legs were especially long, his proportions were really extreme, I always felt that humans could not grow like this, did he steal Jianguo’s leg length (No). His face was particularly small, especially when viewed from my distance, it was outstandingly exquisite, as though I could pinch it with just a hand. This hairstyle really showcased his ears, which were pointed, completely elf-like!

Besides his outstanding eyebrows, his nose was also super magnificent! Even if you looked at him from the front you would feel that he really looks very chiseled! Even more so from the side! A miracle of beauty!

From my location, I had a lot of chances to look at his 70% side view, as the light shone on that face, it was like a sculpture, I wondered what kind of divinity would be able to sculpt that: that nose line, that lip and that melancholy eyebrows…

Xiao Zhan’s Compassion

The tone that Xiao Zhan’s No. 5 as a whole gave me as a whole was melancholic, or I could say it was his compassion. Previously, I frequently saw that everyone said that Tang San had a sense of compassion, but I feel that the compassion in No. 5’s aura was superior to Tang San’s. Firstly, he himself had a terminal illness, and then he experienced so many changes, the departure of his family and loved ones. Secondly, the inner aura of No. 5 himself came with a bit of compassion.

I saw at the back row, at times when I used the binoculars, his facial features would be slightly blurry, of course most of the time it was clear, so I always first spot the most obvious, the tightly furrowed eyebrows.

Accompanying that frown would be his exquisite facial features, his eyes, especially the line of his nose, it seemed almost supernatural. Hence I would really relate it to the Greek sculptures, as in their expressions were also solemn, as though they were looking down upon the emotions and pain of the world. And they themselves were the representation of human beauty.

I always felt that the reason why Xiao Zhan’s good looks were well accepted by the masses was because his good looks was universally acceptable.

Of course, for Xiao Zhan’s No. 5 to be able to attain this level of compassion, it not only depended on his innate aura, but even more so, his own hard work, which caused his looks to be able to give off this kind of aura. For example, he became even more thin, such that his cheeks were more protruding, and there were possibly shadows on his cheeks, this would make you feel that, truly, his melancholy and compassion was clearly affecting his body.

His aura, his physical shape, was completely in service of the character.

Xiao Zhan’s Acting Skills

I posted on my Weibo that Xiao Zhan’s No. 5 was very compassionate, and then there were comments asking if it was because of his past experiences, such that he was able to portray this kind of compassion, actually it was not that I did not agree completely, but it was something that I did not even think of.

Why? Because when you watched Xiao Zhan’s dramas and movies, it was the same, when you watched his play life, his performance was even more so — just that he was not deliberately acting, you would feel that he did not use any life experience, or very obviously using his experiences to aid his portrayal in the drama. He was not like this, he would give you a very very natural sensation.

Xiao Zhan’s acting was like spring water, naturally flowing down from the cracks on the hill side, and not like cracking a water pipe, which would come gushing out suddenly, it was not like this. Even if it was an explosive scene, it would also smoothly flow downwards like a waterfall tumbling from the top of a cliff.

Although I say that Xiao Zhan’s acting was very, very natural, so much so that you could not see any trace of deliberation, but in fact this did not mean that this skill came inborn, on the contrary, this acting skill required doubly effort to attain.

My Trance

I don’t know how to explain my feeling: that is when watching the play I would sometimes feel hazy, like I would suddenly break away from the play, and then stare at Xiao Zhan, thinking — wow, this is a real Xiao Zhan, a lively Xiao Zhan, and he’s under the same roof as me in this very second, moving and talking…

And then I would go into that trance.

The Ocean of Flowers in the Courtyard

So romantic, star chasing is so romantic, loving Xiao Zhan is so romantic.

The night of Wuhan, I stayed in the midst of the crowds, outside of my windows were the streaking colors of everyday life.

My heart remained sweet, because I knew that in that very moment, I was sharing the same sky with the one I love.

And yet my heart was weak, as soon as I saw that endless brilliance of red, I would feel that my tears would well up.

Walking through the ocean of flowers, I saw countless adoration, gentleness, admiration, well wishes…

In that second, I was in Wuhan, and I had a romance with No. 5 at the ends of the world.

Appendix: 2013 Version of “A Dream Like A Dream” Behind-The-Scenes Documentary Review

(Written on 23 Mar 2021)

Upper Half

Firstly, the documentary emphasized on its star-studded cast on its very first Mainland China premiere in 2000. Besides the well-known famous actor, there was also a renowned female singer crossing domains, as well as some familiar, well-known actors, such as Tan Zhuo, Xu Qing. Xu Qing was going to continue her role as one of the Gu Xianglans in the upcoming 2021 version of “A Dream Like A Dream”. At the same time I also discovered that Shi Ke was in the 2013 version of “A Dream Like A Dream”, she was the lead actress for Xiao Zhan’s “Heroes in Harm’s Way – Blessed Community”.

In the documentary, besides bringing more attention to this play, the star-studded cast also brought another challenge, because the group’s actors had to spend more than a year to break into this 8 hour play (that time when “A Dream Like A Dream” first came into Mainland China, everything had to be started from scratch, there were a lot to adapt, hence the timeline would be longer, 2021 version had the previous foundation, and therefore did not need this long for preparation), and singers would have to take a few months to prepare for their fan meetings and concerts, television and movie actors would have to take a few months to film their dramas. In rehearsing this play, the actors would have to reject many invitations, their “loss” in revenue could be up to millions or even more.

Xiao Zhan’s rehearsal period for “A Dream Like A Dream” appeared to be an empty period to the external world, but plays truly needed wholehearted participation into practice time.

Director and playwright Lai Shengchuan said, plays are even a greater challenge to these stars, because their capabilities, their acting skills, would be obvious to the audiences after 2 or 3 shows, and this will dictate the success of the play in Mainland China.

Hence for the first entry to Mainland China, all the preparation from all angles had to start from zero, the 2013 version encountered many difficulties in terms of location, props, etc. While the cast attracted a lot of attention, the strict control behind the stage, for example, prop preparation was actually done by a Year 4 Journalism student; the rehearsal initially started in a crude empty factory. Then, the in-charge of Yanghua Theatre, Wang Keran, was the main in-charge for bringing in “A Dream Like A Dream” into Mainland China, he and his team’s office was in a simple 3 bedroom apartment, he directly said that bringing in this play was to raise the influence of plays but he could not bankrupt the backstage, hence cost also had to be tightly controlled.

For the 2021 version, the documentary gave me the most anticipation was the process that in the 2013 version, the actors and the directors went through a lot of breakthrough and recreation process during their rehearsals. While rehearsing, Xu Qing gave a totally opposite view on her role to Lai Shengchuan (on Gu Xianglan’s love to Baron), the understanding and identity from the actors themselves were in fact the most important part to character creation. Finally, Xu Qing’s persistence convinced Lai Shengchuan, who specially added some scenes in Act 9, and allowed the character Gu Xianglan to be more logical. Lai Shengchuan was a renowned Asian Theatre master, “A Dream Like A Dream” was his 3rd script after his 10+ years of experience. Even so, when meeting a brand new acting crew, the script might still display its inadequacy or limitations with the times, etc. At this moment, it would require actors to use their acting experience to improve upon it, and perform character and scene recreation. We could say that, Xu Qing was a good actress who had her own opinions and thoughts, and was persistent about them, Lai Shengchuan was a good director who progressed with the times.

It just so happened today that Xu Qing praised Xiao Zhan, I believe that with my narration on this part, everyone would understand how much weight Xu Qing’s praise carried — there is no praise that is more encouraging than that from a fellow actress who is persistent and serious.

I believe that Xiao Zhan is also a hardworking actor who will seriously analyze his scripts, and have his own opinions and thoughts. Hence, I really look forward to fireworks that Xiao Zhan and “A Dream Like A Dream” would create, as well as the new soul this would bring to the role, Patient No. 5.

Lower Half

Firstly, the documentary introduced the costume designer for “A Dream Like A Dream”, renowned designer, Ye Jintian. Ye Jintian was the costume in-charge for many movies and dramas, the most famous ones were “A Better Tomorrow” and “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”, he also won the Oscar for Best Costume Design for the latter movie. 2021’s Costume Design Executive was still Ye Jintian. When rehearsal conditions were unable to reach the performance conditions, actors would have to use costumes to find their entry into the character, and as such, it showed how important costumes were to the play.

The premiere in 2013, was such a major cultural event, in the press conference before the first show, they exhibited a shorter segment of the play. Lai Shengchuan wanted people to focus on the story itself, but the media placed their attention on the star-studded cast, the 8 hour long performance, the ring shaped stage, and other gimmicks etc. Lai Shengchuan said, that was the misguidance of the media focus. I felt that, that was unavoidable, since it was a challenge, it was even more so an opportunity, because everything would increase the attention on the play itself eventually. Lai Shengchuan hoped that people would not watch this play for entertainment or escapism, but instead, use this story to face their problems directly, to think about the meaning of life and death.

Surprisingly, the documentary then emphasized on the participating well-known singer’s influence. It said that she had millions of passionate fans, many of them entered the theater because of her, whereas in Lai Shengchuan’s vision, the audiences for “A Dream Like A Dream” were those who had watched many other plays before. We could even say that such a young and influential singer’s addition then truly changed the audience composition for such an elite form of art. On this, Producer Wang Keran expressed that it was something the production team was happy to see, because marketization was the nutrient for such highend art. Moreover, “A Dream Like A Dream” was 8 hours long, they had 400 over sets of costumes, as well as many innovative stage art design, the cost was very huge. Hence, the show for this type of play became a gamble, a gamble between art and market. After all, theater workers would have to eat, and audiences only cared about results, and they would not analyze the difficulties behind it.

The 2021 version that Xiao Zhan joined was built upon the mature experience of 7 years of public showing from the 2013 version, and definitely had lesser problems, but due to Xiao Zhan’s commonly known qualities, the 2021 version would carry the same mission as the 2013 version: using the actor’s huge influence and interest, attract more “first time goers” for theaters, and use the market to nourish the play. To Xiao Zhan personally, this was the rarest and best experience for an actor.

I would mostly skip through the following interview of the famous actor, but there was an important phrase within which he generally said, “To return to theater is to remove the burden of a celebrity.” I felt that this point was suitable to Xiao Zhan.

That time, the production company for “A Dream Like A Dream” (should be Yanghua Theatre) was actually not rich, we could see that the theater scene was still in its infancy. The Stage Designer Zhang Zhelong, was also very competent, he created many aesthetic and unique stage effects for “A Dream Like A Dream”, the most famous was the handover between 2 Gu Xianglans, 2 graceful figures, the former slowly absorbed into the light, blurry and vague, just like a dream. The 2021 version’s Stage Designer is still Zhang Zhelong.

Finally, it was the interview with the well-known actor Jin Shijie, who acted as Baron then. He said that now is the era for speed, everyone could use an electronic device to watch many shows in a night, they could even watch new technologies such as 3D. But, plays were like they carried many ancient rituals. You would need to leave the house, take a car ride, queue, and then sit in among a group of strangers, and watch the stage in the dark, and finally return home. These process were complex, but yet it also seemed especially ceremonious — hence Jin Shijie said that the stage was the most primitive. Whereas for me personally, I like this type of primitive art, this is a form of art that up close, without any misplacement in time and space, and the most realistic.