#but these are problems that 1.) might not even exist in the future 2.) Are Problems In The Far Future vJAERLKGJE

[todayisafridaynight]

dragon engine mine this dragon engine mine that.. DRAGON ENGINE KATASE!!!!!!!!!!!

yk3 mine introduction scene kills me immediately not just cause of hd sweaty shirtless mine with the ominous sound design in the background but then my best friend forever katase walks in with her 4k glasses and i explode on the spot

[bitchy-craft]

PICK A CARD: How they’d react to feeling ignored

Hello and welcome to this new post of mine! I will give you a reading on how this person would react when feeling ignored. I hope you guys enjoy and find this interesting.

Masterpost > Paid Readings > Subliminal Channel

~pick a card~

Pile 1:

They would immediately notice if you’d start ignoring them since they aren’t that confident about themselves; especially the relationship with you, often wondering if they deserve you, are handsome enough for you, kind enough for you etc.

Due to this insecurity they wouldn’t do anything at the beginning, scared that they might be imagining things; they would be keeping quiet for a while to see what they feel like is happening is exactly happening. They simply want to make sure not to come to you with troubles that don’t actually exist, not wishing to bother you for no reason.

The moment they do realise you are ignoring them and it isn’t just their mind playing games they would come to you when the time is right to ask if they did something wrong, what is bothering you and if they can do something about it. They would definitely assume they did something that made you react that way.

Pile 2:

They would notice pretty quickly if you would ignore them, and immediately come up to you to ask what your problem is. They don’t like beating around the bush and using different tactics to avoid confrontation and problems that have arose. In their mind, if you keep everything quiet it will only get worse along the way and they don’t have the energy for that.

This is why your they would immediately talk to you, no matter the time or place, to figure out what’s going on. It wouldn’t matter to them whether it were on a party, a special dinner, or a theme park. They would take you away from the festivities to a place semi-private and confront you on what is going on to make you react that way. Your future spouse would also see you ignoring them as a way to get them jealous.

Pile 3:

Your specific person would give you the space that you need when you start ignoring them. Most of the time they know it might not even be something they did. So they’d give you time and space, as much as you need, before talking to you again. Your future spouse knows that if they did something to make you mad, sad, jealous or annoyed, they know you would eventually come to them to talk; but only if you feel comfortable and confident to do so (something that would come at some point, as long as they’d give you space to).

If they actually did something that got you to react that way they would be incredibly understanding and apologize on the matter the moment you’d speak up about it and give you even more space if needed. They know you prefer to be on your own (sometimes) when processing your thoughts and emotions, and that space is something they will always give if that’s what you request.

[thatbadadvice]

I (15f) am slightly worried that I led on some guys I did not mean to lead on.

There are two guys that I've hung out with over longer spans of time or regularly.

1. Hung out with him for several hours non-stop cause he was fun to hang out with, and we took a walk in the forest aswell, he got (slightly) touchy but not that much.

2. Works in a shop in my small city and I go there almost weekly just to hang out but always buy something, he sometimes offers me drinks for free (twice by now) or reduces the price.

They both got my insta too

However, the problem is that a) I'm not looking for a relationship and, more importantly, b) they are both in their 20s.

I took care to mention that I am only 15 to both of them but idk if that changed anything. Any advice? I also don't want to confront them directly cause I might have just interpreted it like this.

Hello, anonymous!

Thank you for writing in. I am delighted to inform you that you have excellent judgment for wondering what the hell is going on here, and for questioning these guys' behavior toward you.

Grown-ass men — and that is what dudes in their 20s are — bear the burden of not being weird to, for, or about young women of your age. It is the grown-ass men of the world who are obligated not to make you, or young women like you, feel weird about literally anything. In fact, grown-ass men should go out of their way, on purpose and with gusto, NEVER to get even within ten million football fields' worth of "(slightly) touchy" with a gal of your age. So that's my read on Mr. Walk In The Woods. I have less to say definitively about Mr. Free/Cheap Drinks, but I trust your judgment: if you feel like Mr. Free/Cheap Drinks is sending some ~ signals ~, you're right about it.

It sounds like both of these Grown-Ass Men are trying to make pretty creepo moves, so let me be clear: nothing you could ever do could even possibly in the most remote sense amount to "leading them on," because you are not responsible for the behavior of Grown-Ass Men.

I think you know this, or you wouldn't be asking the Bad Advisor this question. You know they're being weird. You know you haven't done anything beyond exist in these dudes' general sphere, which you are entitled to do! You are allowed to exist in the world without having to swat off the advances of older guys! It really sucks that girls and women can just be living our regular-ass lives and have dudes be at us like this. But you're not responsible for their decisions — whether it's a decision to offer you free/cheap drinks (with strings attached, implied) or to get (slightly) handsy during a walk in the woods.

The fact that you told both of these Grown-Ass Men explicitly that you are 15 years old should have sent both of them spinning back into the sun with shame and embarrassment, not that they probably needed it spelled out, but GOOD ON YOU for making it so clear. That is actually terribly brave of you, and they should have fallen all over themselves to not fall all over you subsequently. They should be mortified about their behavior.

You did not misinterpret their actions; and if you did, who cares? Some dudes who weren't hitting on a 15-year-old will continue to not hit on a 15-year-old? Girl, your self-preservation instinct is INTACT and WORKING. It's on them not to be creepos. Any Grown-Ass Man who is on the level and not a weirdo would 1000000000000% never need to be told "Hey dude, I'm 15" in the first place. You have good judgment. You are reading these men correctly.

So what do you do about your good judgment? Well, first — no more walks in the woods. Suddenly you have an urgent appointment that precludes all walks in woods! The benefit-of-the-doubt ship has sailed. Dude got handsy and you dislike it. Dunzo. You are unavailable for future walks in woods (or anywhere). You've got a test to study for, a practice to go to, some buddies to hang out with elsewhere. So sorry, no-can. Dude can find a 20-to-90-something-year-old woman to paw up under the canopy if that's his jam. There are scores of women his age and older who'd be glad (i guess?) to get felt up while some dude shoves them ~ romantically ~ against the bark of a moldy Hackberry.

As for Mr. Free/Cheap Drinks — look, I appreciate the appeal of a discount beverage — but I think you gotta be prepared to aggressively (politely) pay for your drinks. Dude says "This one is on the house" and you DGAF, because you've got $5 cash and you're laying it on the counter with a smile and saying "I really appreciate it, but I'd like to pay for my drink — you get it!"

It's the "you get it!" that's really the key here. It's polite, but clear. It demands that these Grown-Ass Dudes do the work of not getting it and saying so if they're gonna be that dippy about it. You can use it on Mr. Handsy In The Woods, too. You can't do X, Y, Z because Reasons -- "Gotta get back to piano practice, it would be weird if I stayed here, since we're just friends! You get it!"

You shouldn't have to do the work of offering these dippos the "you get it" out, but it's a safe and reliable way of making it clear that they better the fuck get it. Like, they better the fuck understand that you are 15 and they are being weird about this whole deal.

Practice:

"Oh, I'd like to chill but doing another big long hang alone together would make it seem like we're going out or something, and that would be weird -- you get it."

"I appreciate the discount, but if I keep taking these drinks, it'll seem like you LIKE me or something. That's weird, right? You get it!"

If either of these Grown-Ass Men gets sketchy about these very polite brush-offs, that shit is on them and will only confirm what you know: you have great judgment. These dudes are weird. If they're going to be weird, you can be so polite that they have to explain why, specifically, they are being weird and don't understand what you are politely saying, which is that their interest in you is weird.

You have not led these Grown-Ass Men on by existing in their universe. You have not led them on by being polite to them and tolerating their inappropriate advances to preserve your own safety. The concept of "leading on" is bullshit, fucked up, heteronormative dipshittery that puts the burden on women, mostly, to account for the crappy behavior of men who can, do, and should know better. I assure you these men know better, and they think you don't. That's why older guys pursue younger and teen women in the first place — they think they get to be the big men in charge, because they're afraid they can't manipulate women their own age.

Here's what, though: they can't manipulate you, either. You are clever, self-possessed and a great self-advocate. They're being weird. You're being smart. Make sure they know it.

[starcurtain]

Ratiorine Fics I Want to Read

1) Modern AU: When Veritas Ratio discovers a beautiful businessman poised to jump from the roof of his apartment building, he does something he's never done half as seriously before: makes a bet. One month--in just one month, he will find this "Aventurine" a reason to keep living. The terms: 30 days, anything goes, whatever it takes to make some kind of meaning out of a miserable existence. If Ratio loses, a brilliant-eyed gambler will disappear from the world forever. If Aventurine loses... well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. (Of course, neither of them anticipated that Ratio would end up becoming Aventurine's reason to live--but there's something to be said for non-zero-sum games.)

2) "I'm real sorry to bother you, mister, but I think I'm lost?" Aventurine is pretty sure he's dreaming. Pretty sure he's been pulled back to the hellscape known as Penacony. Pretty sure the Lady Emanator might need to come back and take another swing at him, to burn out the last hold of the Harmony for real this time. Because those are the only logical explanations for why Aventurine is currently locking eyes with his own younger self, standing very confused in the middle of his trussed up Pier Point condo, far from the Family's shadow. (Or: That one where a blessing from Gaiathra temporarily sends the young Kakavasha out of harm's way--straight into the care of his future self. Aventurine isn't the ideal person to care for a child, but hells if he's going to let his younger self experience anything less than the safest and most wonderful weeks of his short, miserable life. The only real problem is, well, how is he possibly going to explain this to Ratio?)

3) A super soft, small fic of Ratio reflecting on all the ways his life has changed since Aventurine came into it--there's noise in his apartment now, and a photo on his desk in the office; there's troublesome snacks to pet sit and someone keeps sneaking inappropriate jokes into his lecture transcripts. There's a sounding board to test his lesson topics on, and a peacock on his cellphone lock screen because he's developed a newfound fondness for the color. There's a go-between nowadays when the ravenous investors come sniffing after the results of his research, and unlabeled packages containing exotic bath salts from star systems even Ratio has never heard of... But most beloved of all: the sense of soundness and symmetry, of something unexpected settling perfectly into his hold, at last.

4) Bodyswap AU: Ratio and Aventurine end up on a mission that goes wrong in every sense of the word (aeons, it's always aeons). They're separated with probably half the known universe between them, stranded on unrecorded planets without credits or technology, and--most bizarrely have all--have definitely swapped bodies. Cool. Cool. What the fuck. Aventurine is honestly tempted to say he might be coming out ahead in this whole drama--he's ripped and tall now--until he discovers that in Ratio's body, he doesn't have his luck. Meanwhile, Ratio is discovering just how much harder life is for Signonians, and coming to truly appreciate how strong of a person Aventurine really is. Somehow, they've got to make it back from half way across the universe, accomplish their mission, and get their own bodies back. Please?

5) A collection of complaint logs very important internal IPC records:

Complaints received on the dangerous behavior of new Stoneheart "Aventurine of Stratagems"

Complaints received on the hostile work environment created by Intelligentsia Guild Consultant Dr. Veritas Ratio

Request for transfer

Request for transfer

Request for transfer

Proposal (Joking) to assign Stoneheart Aventurine to joint mission with Intelligentsia Guild Consultant Dr. V. R.

Request for transfer

Request for transfer

Proposal (No Longer Joking) to assign Stoneheart Aventurine to joint mission with IG Consultant Dr. V. R.

Joint Mission Report, Status: Complete, three days before projected date, Casualties: 0, Complaints: 0

Note from Clerk #157B to Clerk #162S, on digital post-it: "Are you seeing this shit?"

Mission Report, Status: Complete, two days behind schedule, Complaints: 1 - "Please don't subject me to the drivel of untrained imbeciles again. If you're going to send someone from outside the Technology Department, at least provide a competent strategist. The same one from last time, preferably."

Mission Report, Status: Complete, Casualties: 1, Complaints: 1 - "Just send Ratio next time, okay?"

Joint Mission Report, Status: Complete

Complaint received on the questionable conduct of Stoneheart Aventurine: "Why did my boss send me to buy bath bombs? Who are these for?"

Joint Mission Report, Status: Complete

Complaint received on the biased behavior of IG Consultant Dr. V. R.: "Why does boss get called 'dear gambler' while the rest of us are 'fool'?"

Penacony Joint Mission Report, Status: Complete

Notice of Hiatus from Intelligentsia Guild Activities and Sabbatical from Lecturing, Reason Given: None

Request for Paid Leave, to: Diamond, cc: Jade, bcc: Topaz, Reason Given: Elopement 💖

6) Maybe it's not a sensitive thing to ask. Maybe some stories are better left in the past. But Veritas Ratio has never been able to curb his desire to know--nor his desire to right the wrongs the world with that knowledge. Laid bare, pale against the lip of the tub, with nothing but the rippling of the bathwater to accompany him, Aventurine tells the story of each of his scars. Some marks cannot be washed away. But some--with time, with touch--can heal.

[morlock-holmes]

What objections would you actually accept to AI?

Roughly in order of urgency, at least in my opinion:

Problem 1: Curation

The large tech monopolies have essentially abandoned curation and are raking in the dough by monetizing the process of showing you crap you don't want.

The YouTube content farm; the Steam asset flip; SEO spam; drop-shipped crap on Etsy and Amazon.

AI makes these pernicious, user hostile practices even easier.

Problem 2: Economic disruption

This has a bunch of aspects, but key to me is that *all* automation threatens people who have built a living on doing work. If previously difficult, high skill work suddenly becomes low skill, this is economically threatening to the high skill workers. Key to me is that this is true of *all* work, independent of whether the work is drudgery or deeply fulfilling. Go automate an Amazon fulfillment center and the employees will not be thanking you.

There's also just the general threat of existing relationships not accounting for AI, in terms of, like, residuals or whatever.

Problem 3: Opacity

Basically all these AI products are extremely opaque. The companies building them are not at all transparent about the source of their data, how it is used, or how their tools work. Because they view the tools as things they own whose outputs reflect on their company, they mess with the outputs in order to attempt to ensure that the outputs don't reflect badly on their company.

These processes are opaque and not communicated clearly or accurately to end users; in fact, because AI text tools hallucinate, they will happily give you *fake* error messages if you ask why they returned an error.

There's been allegations that Mid journey and Open AI don't comply with European data protection laws, as well.

There is something that does bother me, too, about the use of big data as a profit center. I don't think it's a copyright or theft issue, but it is a fact that these companies are using public data to make a lot of money while being extremely closed off about how exactly they do that. I'm not a huge fan of the closed source model for this stuff when it is so heavily dependent on public data.

Problem 4: Environmental maybe? Related to problem 3, it's just not too clear what kind of impact all this AI stuff is having in terms of power costs. Honestly it all kind of does something, so I'm not hugely concerned, but I do kind of privately think that in the not too distant future a lot of these companies will stop spending money on enormous server farms just so that internet randos can try to get Chat-GPT to write porn.

Problem 5: They kind of don't work

Text programs frequently make stuff up. Actually, a friend pointed out to me that, in pulp scifi, robots will often say something like, "There is an 80% chance the guards will spot you!"

If you point one of those AI assistants at something, and ask them what it is, a lot of times they just confidently say the wrong thing. This same friend pointed out that, under the hood, the image recognition software is working with probabilities. But I saw lots of videos of the Rabbit AI assistant thing confidently being completely wrong about what it was looking at.

Chat-GPT hallucinates. Image generators are unable to consistently produce the same character and it's actually pretty difficult and unintuitive to produce a specific image, rather than a generic one.

This may be fixed in the near future or it might not, I have no idea.

Problem 6: Kinetic sameness.

One of the subtle changes of the last century is that more and more of what we do in life is look at a screen, while either sitting or standing, and making a series of small hand gestures. The process of writing, of producing an image, of getting from place to place are converging on a single physical act. As Marshall Macluhan pointed out, driving a car is very similar to watching TV, and making a movie is now very similar, as a set of physical movements, to watching one.

There is something vaguely unsatisfying about this.

Related, perhaps only in the sense of being extremely vague, is a sense that we may soon be mediating all, or at least many, of our conversations through AI tools. Have it punch up that email when you're too tired to write clearly. There is something I find disturbing about the idea of communication being constantly edited and punched up by a series of unrelated middlemen, *especially* in the current climate, where said middlemen are large impersonal monopolies who are dedicated to opaque, user hostile practices.

Given all of the above, it is baffling and sometimes infuriating to me that the two most popular arguments against AI boil down to "Transformative works are theft and we need to restrict fair use even more!" and "It's bad to use technology to make art, technology is only for boring things!"

[sarshles-cheescake-li]

A metaphysical argument for why Lu Guang was the one who risked his intestines falling out to go save his little meow meow

Needless to say, spoilers ahead!

Part 1: Introduction to the bootstrap paradox

There's a lot I could say about the supposed time loop that occurs in episodes 7-8-9 of season 2. Most of them -- the kettle, the lack of a speedboat, Lu Guang's characterization -- have been said better by other theorists. But I'm here to explain the bootstrap/predestination paradox.

The bootstrap paradox is when something is sent back in time, which creates an infinite loop, making the thing seems like it has no origin. The example I learned it with was with time machines. Say you open your door one day to find a book, written by yourself, containing information on how to build a time machine. You take, I dunno, let's say ten years building the thing. Then you use your new time machine to send the book back in time, to your ten-years-ago self, to seal the loop. Works great, right? You've closed the loop, and now you have a time machine.

There's only one problem. Where the hell did that book come from in the first place?

I mean, yes, obviously, it's from the future. But someone had to have written that book, right? But you, the supposed writer of the book, only got it because it got sent back in time by a version of you that already had the book. We assume there was no way you could've figured out how to build a time machine yourself. But that means that the knowledge about the time machine essentially just, popped out of nowhere. Poof! Just like that.

The information about Cheng Xiaoshi and Li Tianchen/Li Tianxi's location is like that. The only reason any of the characters know it is because of Lu Guang. But if their narration is to be believed, then "Lu Guang" only knew it because he was being possessed by Cheng Xiaoshi, who already learned the information in the future. So… how did anyone get that information in the first place?

I generally consider there to be two solutions to the bootstrap paradox. One is an obfuscated origin -- one where the information was obtainable even without the loop, but its origin is hidden by the loop's existence. Say if, without the loop, Li Tianchen releases Cheng Xiaoshi from his control once they're on the boat, and Cheng Xiaoshi figures out where he is. He manages to survive the encounter with the antagonists, and eventually makes it home. But, in the process, Qiao Ling dies. So now Cheng Xiaoshi both has information available to him about where he was during the boat scene, and also a reason to start the loop -- Qiao Ling is dead, and might not be dead if he didn't get taken in the first place. So he takes Lu Guang's photo, and starts the loop.

This particular version of the obfuscated origin theory is… probably not the case. Largely because we don't know how changing the timeline so drastically interacts with Cheng Xiaoshi's ability, specifically, what would happen if he were to clap back into a "present" that technically no longer exists. However, my personal theory -- that I'll discuss in another post -- does fall under the obfuscated origin solution, just slightly to the left.

The second solution to bootstrap is just an allowance for these types of paradoxes to exist. Each story handles it differently. In my model of time -- which I'm pretty sure Link Click doesn't follow, because why would it -- these types of loops are a close relative of magic, because of their self-defining nature. Now, I'm going to say that this is not the case in Link Click, based on what we've seen of Cheng Xiaoshi's power so far.

Part 2: Cheng Xiaoshi's power is weird, man

For the second solution to be valid, we should ideally have at least one of three proofs.

This is the most convincing proof -- if we have another example of an exclusive, stable time loop (exclusive as in the events involved in the loop would not have happened without the loop's presence, stable as in the loop doesn't contradict itself the way it does in, for example, the grandfather paradox). This would just plainly prove the fact that Cheng Xiaoshi can create the loop we see in episodes 7-8-9.

Cheng Xiaoshi's dives should be able to have causality effects up to and including his decision to dive, at the very least. Essentially, Cheng Xiaoshi needs to be able to create an effect on the world that shows up before the dive concludes. This demonstrates the flexibility of the timeline -- that it allows Cheng Xiaoshi to make changes to events that precede his dive, instead of only events that succeed it. While this isn't as strong as the first proof, it would show that, at the minimum, Cheng Xiaoshi is able "cause" his own dive.

In cases where Cheng Xiaoshi observes a person who he has/will dive into, he should be viewing the "dived" version and not the "original" version. This demonstrates that the timeline "knows" about Cheng Xiaoshi's dives before he performs them. This way, it makes sense if the "Lu Guang" Cheng Xiaoshi saw was a "dived" version, instead of original-Lu-Guang. This is our bottom line, because without this, then… Well, there's really nothing showing that Cheng Xiaoshi was even possessing Lu Guang during that first run of events that we saw.

Let's go through them one by one. The first proof is pretty much a no-go. There is only one dive in the entire series where this type of causality is even discussed, and that's during the dive into Li Tianxi (referred to as Xixi from now on. By the way, fun fact -- although the English sub appears to subtitle her nickname as "Xixi," it's actually pronounced "Xiaoxi" in Mandarin. I was confused about this for a while because Xixi and Xiaoxi would both be valid and common nicknames for her, in terms of convention, haha. If anyone ever wants to hear me talk about some hard-to-translate linguistic details in Link Click, let me know!). In this dive, Lu Guang tells Cheng Xiaoshi to pick up the photo, saying that if the photo disappears, then "the future that we live in will cease to exist." You could make an argument here that Cheng Xiaoshi's act of picking up the photo allows for the dive to happen, fulfilling proof 1. However, this proves stability -- that the dive does not contradict, or nullify itself -- but it doesn't prove exclusivity. That is, we have no way of knowing what would've happened to the photo if Cheng Xiaoshi hadn't dived. It's plausible that Xixi or Li Tianchen would've picked up the photo in the end anyway, regardless of Cheng Xiaoshi's influence. Thus, this is much closer to just being their typical motto while diving -- leave the past untouched, or as close as they can get it to the original.

The second proof is harder to say. We can't say for sure whether or not we've ever seen the effect of Cheng Xiaoshi's dives occur before he makes the decision to dive, for two reasons. One is the butterfly effect -- many causes may have effects, but those effects may be extremely hard to trace back to their original causes. It's possible that maybe Cheng Xiaoshi as Xu Shan Shan asking Qiao Ling about what Lu Guang saw in him might've, I don't know, kept Qiao Ling occupied where otherwise she would've gone "Oh I forgot my phone in the studio" or something. And the fact that Qiao Ling never came back to the studio demonstrates that Cheng Xiaoshi created an effect prior to him diving. But there's no solid proof for this being the case. The second one is that it's just much harder to prove impossibility than simple absence. That is, even if we've never seen this happen, it doesn't mean it can't happen -- it just means we haven't seen it yet.

However, from a writing perspective, there's some solid evidence that, while Cheng Xiaoshi's power has the potential for "effects," those effects are only observable to Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang themselves after the "cause" has already occurred. That is, any effects of Cheng Xiaoshi's dives only become evident after the dive has already happened. The strongest proof for this is Chen Xiao's camera in episode five, and Lu Guang's narration. As a result of Cheng Xiaoshi's actions while possessing Chen Xiao, the camera that presumably would've been destroyed in the original timeline is preserved. Chen Xiao's father then finds the camera and brings it to Chen Xiao, who then brings it to the studio to get developed. Lu Guang says here that this is why they don't ask about the future -- because the future is inevitably changed by their actions. While this was an emotionally touching scene in terms of storytelling, I believe it also serves a double purpose, showing us the limits of Cheng Xiaoshi's diving. It shows explicitly that his dives can change the timeline, but he himself will only experience the effects of that change after he's already dived. This makes quite a lot of sense, combined with part three, which is that:

I'm nearly 100% sure that Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang themselves always experience the "original" series of events when they go through things in real time, and never otherwise.

The best example of this is with the Xu Shanshan dive in episode 10. After combing through the episode and comparing it to episode 8, there are three major deviations in Cheng Xiaoshi's behaviour during the dive versus Xu Shanshan's during the first run through. First is a general difference in voice, mannerisms, and expressions. Especially near the beginning of the dive, Cheng Xiaoshi sounds different than Xu Shanshan. Even later, does small things like turn his head and make expressions at a different time. However, I'm not going to take this one as seriously, considering we're not sure if this is showing actual reality or is for the viewer's benefit, demonstrating the difference between the two. After all, we, the viewer sees that anyone possessed by Cheng Xiaoshi has their eyes turn gold, but no one in the story itself notices it. Me, personally, I think I would notice if my best friend took a photo and then came back with differently coloured eyes. I don't know though, I might just be built different like that.

Second is that Xu Shanshan says "I'm not like a certain someone, leeching off other people" (second half paraphrased) whereas Cheng Xiaoshi says "I don't [want to be like] a certain someone, leeching off other people." Again, this one is questionable, because the dialogue actually spoken is the exact same (in terms of words), and the English sub is the exact same, but the Chinese subtitles has a 像想 in place of 像 in the second run-through. Which is weird, because [want to be like] is actually 想像 and not 像想… confusing. Like, this is 100% a typo by the subtitles team, but what was the original intended version? No one knows. The last, and only actual deviation I found, was that Xu Shanshan goes "Hey, Qiao" when asking about how Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang get their information from photos, whereas Cheng Xiaoshi just says "Qiao."

This, combined with the fact that Lu Guang is able to "see" the original in the first place, all make a strong case that, in Link Click, the timeline doesn't "know" that Cheng Xiaoshi has dived until he actually does it, at which point it tries to catch up. This is consistent with everything else we've seen. It makes sense that the effect of his dives are only noticeable to him after the fact, because the timeline has to basically make live edits to itself to deal with his existence.

With this in mind, the Lu Guang we see in episode 7 simply couldn't've been Cheng Xiaoshi. This was a real time event, so it had to have been the undived version of Lu Guang doing… all that. Of course, the question here is how Lu Guang even got the information about Cheng Xiaoshi's whereabouts in the first place. I might make more posts theorizing about Lu Guang's powers and their limitations, the nature of his loop, etc… But for now, I've been grinding this post for about two hours. That's all. I hope you all enjoyed reading this!

[endthedream]

5 1/2 coffees to love

pairing: barista!jungwon x customer!reader (she/her)

summary: When Jungwon finds out you hate coffee, he makes a bet with you that he will be able to make you fall in love with coffee. But what if you fall in love with him instead?

words: 15.3k

story colour: yellow

notes: This is for my fellow coffee haters and probably the fluffiest fluff I’ve ever written. I hope you enjoy this story and always remember to spread kindness!🪽

masterlist of enhypen as jobs

Coffee.  A beverage brewed from the roasted and ground seeds of the tropical evergreen coffee plant. One of the top three beverages in the whole world.

And you hate it. You absolutely despise it. The bitter taste, the obnoxious smell. Everything about it makes you want to take whatever plant it comes from and destroy it forever.

Okay, maybe you’re just being a bit dramatic. But still, you don’t get how people actually enjoy that drink.

When you first tried coffee, you were 5 years old. You saw your mom drink it every day and as a curious child, you wanted to try it too. So, when your mom wasn’t watching, you grabbed her cup and drank a sip. Almost immediately your face scrunched up in disgust and you let out a small yelp.

“Oh sweetheart.”, your mom cooed, taking the cup from you. “You’re too young to like coffee. But believe me when you’re older you will like it just as much a mommy does.”

The second time was when you got into high school. The sudden pressure and the amount of homework kept you up a lot, so you thought that coffee might help you with the tiredness. You even went as far as to go all the way to a coffee shop to get professionally made coffee. And still the moment you got back home, ready to take a sip and stay up all night to study, you learned yet again that coffee isn’t something for you.

The third and until now last time, was when you met your best friend. Sunoo and you met up in your first year of college. The two of you immediately got along and now you’re not only best friends, but also roommates. The only problem is, Sunoo is a vivid coffee lover. He claims to not be able to get through the day without coffee. You heard him praise the beverage every day and since you were older and more mature, you thought that maybe now you will like it. But once again you were wrong. Not even Sunoo’s special preparation could change your opinion on coffee.

So, now you’re here. In your second year of college, sitting at the kitchen table, trying to study, and having to endure the obnoxious smell that lingers around the apartment.

“I swear, if you make that face again while I enjoy my coffee, I will pour it on you.”, your best friend speaks up from his seat on the couch.

“I just don’t get how you can drink that, Sunoo. What is there to enjoy about?”

Your best friend rolls his eyes and walks over to where you sit at the kitchen table. He puts his cup down in front of you, on purpose, and takes a place on the other chair.

“You just haven’t had good coffee before.”, he states with an innocent smile on his face.

Good coffee? Does good coffee even exist? You doubt it.

“Honestly, I gave up on liking coffee and so should you. I mean, not on liking coffee, but on forcing it upon me. There are other things I can drink. Like a good hot chocolate or Red Bull if I need some caffein. And see it as something positive. It just means more coffee for you.”

Your best friend shrugs at your answer, already used to your stubborn side and knowing that it has no use trying to start a discussion with you about that subject. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡

There is nothing you hate more than exam week. Not only is your head exploding from all the knowledge you have to force into it, but the lack of sleep you’re getting is making you look and also act like a zombie.

But it’s over. Well, at least until the next exam week starts, but that’s for your future you to worry about. All you want to do is go home, change into comfortable clothes, and spend the whole weekend sleeping.

„Let’s go into a café.”, your best friend says the moment you get into your shared apartment.

“What?”

“Let’s go into a café.”, he repeats himself, taking your bag from you and tossing it on the couch. “Come on, it’s fun. A friend of mine is working there, and I always wanted to check it out. He’s working today and I just know the two of you will get along.”

“You have friends?”, you ask amused, throwing yourself on the couch with a groan. “Besides that, I just had the worst week of my life and all I want to do is sleep.”

Sunoo rolls his eyes, before sitting down beside you, taking your arms and making you sit up, which you did but not without letting out some protesting whines. “First of all, I do have friends, thank you very much. And second, that’s exactly why we should go out. You need some distraction and I’ve heard that the café makes the best hot chocolate and strawberry cake.”

You can’t deny that that offer sounds good. So, with a few mumbles of complaint, you stand up and walk towards your room.

“What are you doing?”, Sunoo asks, watching you leave.

“Changing. Which you should too, so we can leave soon.”

♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡

The moment you step into the café, you are thankful that Sunoo made you come here. The smell of fresh baked goods overpowers all the sleepiness in your body. You can almost ignore the smell of coffee. But just almost.

The café itself is rather small, but one of the prettiest things you’ve ever seen. The place is filled with a lot of green plants, fairy lights on the yellow walls and couches on the side. The tables are decorated with cute yellow napkins and behind the counter where the machines and the display window with the cakes in it are, hangs a little sign reading ‘today is your day’. It has you smiling a bit, loving the positive and comfortable atmosphere in this little space.

The yellow theme makes it even better. While yellow isn’t particularly your favorite color, it works as a little happy.

“Wow, Sunoo, this is the coolest place I’ve ever seen. Why didn’t you bring me here earlier?”

Your best friend admires your beaming face, having been worried the whole week about your wellbeing. Sunoo knows that once you want something, you do everything possible to achieve it. In this case it’s good grades. He knows how hard you study to be on top of your class and how you will neglect every important thing in your life to get this achievement. Important things like sleeping, eating and your social contacts.

“I’m glad you like it, Y/n. Oh look, there is Jungwon.” You follow the eyes of Sunoo to spot a young boy talking to an elderly woman. He is leaning down, intensively listening to what the woman is saying and smiling politely at her. You immediately notice the dimples that form on his cheeks. Cute.

“Let’s sit down and wait until Jungwon can take our order.” The café is mostly empty, aside for the older woman. And you’re thankful for that. Crowded spaces aren’t exactly your preferred type of place to hang out.

Sitting down with Sunoo at a nice table gives you some time to look around the café yet again. Somehow with every time you look around, you see something new appearing in the small space. A new detail that makes this café even more adorable. Like the small sundae formed out of clay that sits on top of the counter. Or the picture of a croissant sitting in front of the Eiffel Tour while drinking a coffee hanging on the wall. You also notice the way all the plants are in perfect order, not one stands out of line or is overgrown. They are perfectly trimmed and look like they get watered regularly. The yellow napkins are formed into little butterflies with a small chocolate treat on them. They too are perfect. Folded so precisely, you swear that if you just had to make one, you would have lost your nerves. But what is yet the sweetest and also most considered thing, is the little mental health cards all over the room. Small cards with different quotes, positive affirmations and motivations on them. You swear that you just walked into heaven. How can this place be so perfect and yet not overfilled with people?

“I’m sorry for the wait.”, a voice brings you out of your thoughts. “Oh! Hey, Sunoo! You really came.” Looking up, you see Jungwon smiling at your friend.

“Of course! I could not miss out on this place. And you didn’t lie, it’s amazing. Right Y/n?” Suddenly the attention of both men is on you.

All you can do is nod, giving a quick thumbs up.

“Y/n? You must be Sunoo’s best friend. He talks a lot about you.”, Jungwon exclaims, giving you a sweet smile. Damn, that really is his charm.

“You talk about me?”, you ask your friend with raised eyebrows. “I knew it. You are obsessed with me.”

Sunoo lets out a scoff. “Don’t let it get to your head. I’m just mentioning the person I’m literally living with.”

Before the two of you can continue to argue, Jungwon gets in between. “What can I get for you? Have you decided on something to order?”

“I want a mint chocolate mocha and chocolate cake.”, Sunoo says, beaming up at Jungwon.

“Well, for me a hot chocolate and a strawberry cake.”

Jungwon writes your orders down on a little notebook that he carries around in his apron. “Your order will be here soon.”

You watch as he leaves, truly captivated by him. That doesn’t go unnoticed by your best friend. “What’s got you so kept up?”

“Hm?”

Your friend can’t help but chuckle as he looks at your confused face. “Oh, someone has a little crush on Jungwon.”

“What? No. I just met him five minutes ago.”, you exclaim, shaking your head.

“Doesn’t mean you can’t find him cute.”

Well, maybe you do think he is cute. How can you not? The small dimples that appear whenever he smiles, the cute cat-like features he has and the kindness he carried the moment you stepped into the café. Maybe it does sound like you do have a crush on him, but that’s not the case. You could never catch feelings for someone this fast. You were never a believer of love at first sight, even if you call yourself a hopeless romantic. For you love is something that blossoms over time. It’s built up from trust and trust can only be formed with a lot of time passing by. It’s built on respect from both sides. Without that love is simply not possible, so you won’t even consider it. Not with someone you met a few minutes ago.

“A mocha and chocolate cake for you, Sunoo and hot chocolate and a strawberry cake for you, Y/N. I hope you enjoy it.”, Jungwon speaks in a gentle voice as he puts your orders on the small table in front of you.

“Do you have a few minutes to spare?”, Sunoo asks Jungwon, already taking a bite of his cake.

“Yeah, there isn’t a lot going on at the moment, so I think I have a few minutes. Why?”

“I thought maybe you can join me and Y/n, so we can talk and catch up a bit. And you two can get to know each other a bit more.”

“Sure, why not.”, Jungwon agrees, sitting down on the empty chair between you and Sunoo.

“How’s English Lit going?”, he asks Sunoo who in return lets out a deep sigh.

“Same old. Mr Walker is still as mean as ever.”

Now it’s your turn to let out a sigh. “God, don’t even let me get started.”

“Why?”, Jungwon asks. “You’re in the class too?”

“In the class? No, I’m suffering through it.”, you frustratingly munch on your cake before continuing. “I cannot stress enough how this man should not be a teacher. Don’t get me wrong, he can explain good and has so much knowledge, but when it comes to human interactions or empathy, this man is lost. You know how in English Lit we are supposed to discuss English literature and also express criticism towards it, which leads to discuss and so on. Whenever someone criticizes something or even just expresses their opinions, he declines it and continues his lesson. He gives us no room to voice our thoughts. He just does his thing and goes.

“And the assignments. They are longer than my will to live, I can tell you that much. I spent so many sleepless nights writing and doing research and what do I get? Nothing. He just grades it and sends it back, no comments, no helpful tips, just the grade and that’s it. I’m honestly so sick of it. I want all my hours of sleep back.” Dramatically you let your head fall on your arms, realizing a little whine.

“Sorry.”, Sunoo says, rubbing the back of his neck. “We just had exam week and she is exhausted. And well, since she doesn’t drink coffee to keep her awake, she pretty much could fall asleep anywhere at this rate.”

“You don’t drink coffee?”, Jungwon asks, his voice laces with a bit of shock.

“Nope.”, you state, lifting your head up again. “Hate it. Worst drink in the whole wide world. Disgusting. Disgraceful. Infuriating.”

Jungwon lays a hand on his heart, gasping loudly. “How can you say that to a Barista? Coffee is the best thing this world has ever experienced.”

You just roll your eyes, taking a huge sip of your hot chocolate out of spite. “I highly doubt that. But I can’t argue with coffee lovers. You guys are strangely stubborn.” You give Sunoo a pointed look to which he just sticks his tongue.

“Believe me. Try one of my coffee’s and you will change your mind.”

“Don’t even try.”, Sunoo intervenes. “I’ve been trying for over a year to get her to like coffee, but she just won’t. You will just waste your time.”

“Oh no, believe me. I can make her like coffee.”

You let out a laugh, which sounds more like a scoff. “Nice try, but I don’t believe you.”

“Okay, then let’s make a bet. If I can make you fall in love with coffee, you will have to do something for me.”

“And if you don’t?”, you ask.

“Then I will have to do something for you. Anything you want.”

“Anything I want?” It’s a good deal, you think, but is it worth it having to drink a lot of coffee?

“I don’t have the time to come to your café every day.”

“Well, then how about once a week? It gives me time to perfect my coffee creations and give you the best versions of it.”, Jungwon grins, holding his hand out for you. “Do we have a deal?”

You sigh, taking his hand in yours and giving it a firm shake. You would do anything to prove to a coffee lover that coffee isn’t that great. “Don’t make me regret this.”

“I won’t! Just see, you will become a coffee lover!”

☕1: Mocha

Rain. There is something so comforting about rain. The way it feels when soft, cold droplets of it fall on your heated skin. Relaxing your muscles and making you feel like you’re floating on top of a cloud into paradise where all your worries in life disappear and you can just exist. The smell, how it creeps up your whole body and makes you want to stop and take it in until even the dwell of it disappears. And you don’t mind that you come home with soaked clothes and wet hair. You don’t mind the coldness that lingers on your skin. Because the moment you dried your hair, changed your clothes, and got yourself a cup of tea, you can sit in front of your window and watch how the streets get washed up from the rain. You observe the cars driving into puddles and splashing the water in every direction. You watch as a couple, sharing an umbrella, walks past your apartment building, arms wrapped around each other to keep the other one warm from the coldness of the rain. And you look at the rain drops on your window, betting in your head on which one will win the race, happy when yours won and disappointed, when you focused on the wrong one.

You wrap your blanket around you tighter, as you hear the door to your apartment open. Knowing it’s Sunoo, you stand up, tiptoeing out of your bedroom.

“It really had to rain today.”, you hear him complain. “Out of all days.”

You snicker a bit, watching how he tries to fix his wet hair in the mirror of your hallway. “Don’t laugh at me.”, he speaks up, pouting in your direction. “Not all of us are rain lovers.”

“Don’t be so dramatic. Rain is awesome.”

Sunoo walks into the kitchen, taking out the rest of the Chinese food the two of you ordered yesterday. “Yeah, when you sit at home and don’t get wet.” He puts it on a plate and into the microwave. “Want some too?”

“No, I will pass.”, you say, heaving yourself on top of the kitchen counter. “I will save my hunger for later. I want to eat another strawberry cake when I go to the café.”

“Oh right.”, the boy exclaims, taking out the plate and digging into his food. “You’re meeting up with Jungwon today. Excited? Nervous? Giddy?”

You pull your eyebrows into a frown. “Why should I? I’m just fulfilling my side of the bet.”

“Yeah, and also meeting up with a super cute boy. I saw you looking at him. You definitely find him cute.”

You roll your eyes, jumping down from the kitchen counter and walking back into your room. “Cute or not, I’m just there to proof him wrong.”

♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡

Entering the café, you are immediately overcome with the same tranquility as last week. Insane how one place can make you feel so at ease.

“You made it!”, you hear a familiar voice exclaim. You look up to see Jungwon behind the counter. He’s dressed in a white shirt with blue pants and his apron on. You notice the little print lingering on the left side of his chest. ‘Café Sunshine’. Last week you didn’t look at the café’s name, just amazed by the unique furniture, but it definitely makes sense why the café is named that way. Despite the rain you feel like you have stepped into the definition of sunshine.

“Yeah, sorry for being late. My bus driver thought it was necessary to talk to another bus driver for 5 minutes.”, you roll your eyes, sitting down at the same table you sat at last week.

“Don’t worry. Because of the rain no one came in today, so I had a lot of time to perfect your drink.”

You nod at him, showing him a slight unsure smile. Being honest with yourself, you have to admit that you’re a bit scared. It’s been a long time since you last tried coffee and trying it in front of someone who makes coffee as a living is intimidating you. You don’t want to be rude if you don’t like it. Despite loving to prove coffee lovers wrong, Jungwon is still mostly a stranger to you. A really friendly one as well.

“Okay, but please don’t be too disappointed. I really don’t want you to put so much time in it just for me to hate it.”

He just smiles at you, his dimples on full display. “Y/n, don’t worry, okay? I love making coffee and you just give me a reason to practice more, that’s all. And if you don’t like it, I will just finish your drink.”

You let out a deep breath, that you weren’t aware you were holding, clearly relieved at Jungwon’s reassurance.

“So,”, he says, putting the coffee down in front of you. “this is a Mocha. It’s a variation made from espresso, hot milk, and liquid chocolate. I even put a little cream topping on it to make it look cuter. And the same chocolate and high milk content makes the Mocha taste very mild and sweet. I gathered that you might dislike coffee because of the bitterness, so this is a great start.”

You listen to everything Jungwon tells you and you have to admit, it makes you smile a bit. He really put a lot of thought into making a coffee that might match your taste.

“Thank you, Jungwon.”, you say, grabbing the cup with one hand. You can’t lie, it looks pretty good, and the chocolate almost covers the smell of coffee. But just almost.

“Y/n.”, Jungwon calls out your name, making you look right into his worried eyes. “You don’t have to drink it if you don’t want to. You know that, right? I know we have a bet, but I would never force you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

You show Jungwon a smile, appreciating his kindness. You swear this boy couldn’t get even more perfect.

“It’s not that I’m uncomfortable, I’m just scared of the taste. Last time I drank coffee I had a full on fit and had to drink a liter of milk to make the taste go away.” That earns you a little chuckle from the boy sitting in front of you.

“I have an idea.”, he says, standing up and walking back to the counter. He grabs a plate and puts a piece of the strawberry cake you ate last week on it. Walking back to you, Jungwon puts the plate down in front of you and takes a seat again.

“Here.”, he says showing you his dimpled smile. “I saw you enjoying this cake last week. If you don’t like the coffee and need to get the taste away, just eat the cake.”

“I like your way of thinking.”, you state in a teasing voice.

You grab the mug once again, this time taking a small sip. The first thing you taste is the strong flavor of chocolate, but sadly that isn’t lasting long. Because two seconds later the espresso makes itself present on the flavor buds in your mouth. And while it’s not strong, you still shudder slightly at the bitterness.

Jungwon watches the whole scene, amusement clearly written all over his face. “That bad?”

“No, it’s not bad. I mean, it’s not good either. It’s just the bitterness.”, you answer, already shoving a spoon of cake into your mouth.

“You’re really a tough case, huh?”, Jungwon remarks, leaning his head on one hand, watching you with his cat-like eyes.

“Warned you before, but you wouldn’t listen.”, you shrug, sighing at the welcoming sweetness of the strawberries. “Want to just call it quits and admit that you won’t get me to like coffee?”

“What?”, Jungwon exclaims, eyes wide and mouth agape in fake shock. “Calling it quits? Never. Darling, this is just the beginning of this journey.”

☕2: Cappuccino

Jungwon wasn’t kidding when he told you that this was just the beginning. For the whole week he kept on texting you, sending you different designs of coffee and hyping up his recipes. He told you he is trying even harder to make you like the next one but when you tried to get some hints regarding the next coffee, he declined immediately, telling you to be patient.

And as much as you hate to admit it, you are actually looking forward to meeting him again.

Other than last week, the sun is out. Shining down on earth and painting it in a soft glow. That doesn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the people living in your town. The once empty café is now filled with people to brim and instead of calmness washing over you when you enter, you feel a wave of stress overcoming you.

You’ve never been a people person, preferring staying at home in the comfort of your room where no one can disturb you. The only person you really tolerate is Sunoo and that also took a while until it got to that point, even if he is the complete opposite of you. Sunoo is a social butterfly, making friends wherever he goes. And while that sometimes annoys you, you’re happy your friend has that ability.

“Hey, sorry Y/n. I will be with you in a second. Sit down and I will bring you your coffee.”, Jungwon says as he passes you by, already hurrying to the next table he has to serve at.

You look around the room, recognizing some familiar faces from your college. It was bound to happen that this place wouldn’t stay hidden for a long time, but you’re kind of sad that so many people discovered this place and disturb your peace and quiet now.

Instead of following Jungwon’s instruction, you stay standing at the entrance. You don’t see a free table anyway. Every table is occupied by students who are loudly talking to each other. You see how Jungwon easily makes conversation, laughing at the things the students say and in return making them laugh at whatever he remarks.

Envy is what’s filling you. You wish you could have this ease while talking to people. You wish you could just get over yourself, sit down and drink that damn coffe so you can go back home. But not only envy is filling you, disappointment as well. You were really looking forward to this. To spend time with Jungwon and trying something new. The whole weeklong you texted each other, not only about the coffee, but about random events in your life.

He told you how his cat at home only cuddles with him whenever she’s sleepy and how when she’s awake, she is a little diva. He also told you that that’s probably the case because he treats her like a queen, giving her everything she wants and almost never being able to say no. You told him how you miss home sometimes. How you miss your weekly family night game evenings where you would destroy your brother at Uno and how all of you would lose your nerves over board games.

You shared a lot with each other and for some reason it wasn’t even hard. It felt so easy talking to him, opening up and sharing stuff that took you a while to tell Sunoo. It’s like you’ve known each other for years already. So, it’s understandable why you notice the slight feeling of disappointment coursing through your veins.

Jungwon notices you not moving away from the entrance and while he gets a few seconds to spare, he looks at your face. And what he’s greeted with worries him. You’re pale. Your face shows clear signs of unease. And he feels stupid. He feels stupid because you told him how you don’t like crowded spaces and he forgot. He should have cancelled today and made you come back on a less crowded day, but he forgot. He was simply so excited to see you again and show you the coffee he’s been working on, that he just forgot. But you’re here now anyway and he would regret it if he just sent you away.

So instead, he ignores the call for his name from one of the tables and makes his way over to you. He gently takes your hand and guides you behind the counter where the register stands. “Wait here.”, he tells you in a gentle voice before walking back and grabbing a chair. He takes it behind the counter and places it down in front of you. “Just sit here, it’s the furthest away from all the people.”

You show him a small appreciative smile before whispering a quiet thanks.

“I’m going to serve one of the tables and then I’m right back with you, okay? We can try the new coffee then. Is that okay with you or do you rather want to go home?”

Going home sounds tempting, but you’re already here and while you still feel a bit of panic in you, you actually really want to stay. For the bet, of course.

“No.”, you croak out. “I want to stay. I will wait here.”

Almost immediately, his face breaks into a wide grin. “Okay, great. Give me a few seconds and I’m right back.” And with a bit more speed in his walk, he goes to serve the customers. From your position you have a good view of the table Jungwon is standing at. You recognize the girls sitting there from your math class. You see how they twist their hair as they talk to Jungwon, giving him flirty looks with their eyes and a small laugh escapes your mouth. Because while they’re obviously flirting, Jungwon seems to be oblivious to it. He notes down their orders, giving them polite smiles and keeping the conversation light. It’s cute.

When he returns a few minutes later he smiles, a bit relieved you’re still sitting in the same position as before. “I’m making your coffee now and believe me when I say I perfected this one.”

You watch as he walks over to the machine, only three steps away from you and starts his work. He looks like he’s been doing this for years by how professionally he handles everything.

“You know the girls were trying to flirt with you?”, you say, giving him an amused smile.

“What?”, he asks, thinking he heard you wrong over the loud noise of the coffee machine.

“The girls at table 3, they were flirting with you.”

“Really?”, he questions, looking back just to see them smile and wave at him. “I didn’t notice.”

“I know.”, another laugh escapes your mouth. “You’re so oblivious to it, it’s honestly funny.”

“So, you find it funny, huh?”, he asks teasingly, raising his eyebrows. “Not so funny if I would put a lot of salt into your coffee.”

You gasp. “You would never.”

“Oh, watch me.”, he says but before any of you can continue, a voice interrupts you.

“I’m sorry, I don’t want to be a bother.”, the elderly woman that you saw here two weeks ago states. “I just wanted to pay, it’s a little too crowded in here for me today.”

Jungwon gives her a gentle smile before putting down your half-made coffee and walking to the register. “You would never be a bother, Mrs. Sim. Okay, you had your usual so that makes 8.99.”

The lady takes out her purse and lays the money on the table. “That your girlfriend?”, she asks, a sly smile on her face.

“Oh, no.”, Jungwon stutters out, cheeks turning into a slight shade of red. “She’s my friend.” You give the lady a shy smile, trying not to let your heated cheeks show.

“What a bummer. She’s pretty.”, she takes the change out of Jungwons hands and gives you two a last smile. “See you tomorrow, Jungwon. Have a great day, you two.”

Jungwon returns back to the coffee, a slight tension of embarrassment lingering in the air. “You know this lady well?”, you ask, trying to break the tension.

“Oh yeah.”, he clears his throat, trying to hide his cracking voice. “She’s my friend Jake’s grandma and was really close friends with my grandma. I look up to her because she’s been huge part of my life for as long as I can remember.”

You watch him as he purrs milk into the coffee, creating some kind of pattern. “That’s so sweet. She seems really nice.”

“She is.”, he remarks, walking over to you and handing you the cup of coffee. “Tadaaaa. I even made coffee art for you.”

As you look down at the hot liquid in your hands, you can’t help but smile. With the milk foam he created a little heart on top of the coffee.

“Aw.”, you coo at the boy in front of you. “This looks so pretty.”

“Now you only have to like it. It’s a cappuccino. Pretty much everyone that has stepped foot into a café has heard of it. Cappuccino is an Italian coffee drink made from an espresso and hot milk froth. I put a gentle sprinkle of cocoa powder on top to make it sweeter, but not too much because I didn’t want it to distract too much from the original taste.”

A call of Jungwon’s name interrupts the small moment between the two of you.

“I will be there in a second.”, he replies to the customer, still looking at you. “We have to hurry up a bit today.”

You nod, slowly guiding the cup to your lips and taking a little sip. Jungwon watches you intensively and you try your hardest not to show your dislike for the coffee he made.

“You don’t like it.”, he states.

“No, it’s fine. I mean, it’s coffee, but it’s fine.”, you try to convince him.

“Y/n, don’t lie. I can clearly see how you don’t like it.”, you can see the flash of disappointment in his eyes, but he quickly tries to play it off and shows you a bright smile. “Third times a charm, right? Next time you will love the coffee.”

And for some reason you really hope you will. Even if that means you lose the bet.

☕3. Bómbon

“How do you even know Jungwon? I mean it’s not like he goes to our college.”, you ask Sunoo who lays beside you on the couch, watching an episode of a k-drama you found a few days ago.

“He did.”, Sunoo answers, eyes focused on the tv. “We met at the history course first year of college and just sat beside each other for a while. Before he dropped out of college.”

“Why did he drop out?”, you ask, turning your body so you can look at your best friend better.

“I don’t know.”, he mumbles. “Never told me. Every time I saw him, I forgot to ask and now it would be too weird to bring it up now.”

It’s a shame, you think. You didn’t know that Jungwon was at your college, if you had, maybe you could have been friends earlier. Or you would have never talked to him. That’s the most likely scenario. If it weren’t for Sunoo bumping into you and spilling coffee on your favorite shirt, you would have never talked to him. Sunoo felt so bad that he searched online where your shirt was from and bought you two new ones. He gave those to you the next day and told you he bought an extra one in case someone else bumps into you and ruins the shirt again. After that, Sunoo decided to spend everyday with you. He walked with you to class, accompanied you to the library to study and trusted you enough to tell you his whole life story. And almost a year later, the two of you are roommates. Walking around each other with unbrushed teeth and bed hair, crying your eyes out after watching a sad k-drama and caring for each other whenever the other person lays in bed with a cold.

To sum it up, you have seen each other at your worst and that all wouldn’t have happened if Sunoo wasn’t so determined to be your friend. Without that happening, you probably would sit in a tiny apartment, watching tv all by yourself and wondering where the hell you went wrong with your life.

“Sunoo?”

“Yeah.”, the questioned man hums, still trying to focus on the drama that’s playing.

“Why did you decide to be my friend?”, you ask him. Noticing that you have the urge to talk, Sunoo grabs the remote control and stops the k-drama. Moments like that happen rarely, where you start a conversation leading to a deeper and more emotional topic. That’s why he faces his body to you, giving you his full attention before he says his next words.

“Well, if I spilled my coffee on any other person’s favorite shirt, they would have lost their minds. They would have either cried or started screaming at me. But you just smiled at me. You told me that’s it okay and that you get that my mind was somewhere else.”, he smiles at the memory of the day you two met. “You even went as far as telling me that the life of a college student is stressful enough than to worry about a shirt getting ruined. But even through your kind words and your bright smile, I could see some sadness in your eyes. I could tell you really liked the shirt, but instead of making me feel bad, you tried to comfort me.”

Sunoo leans forward, taking one of your hands in his. “And from that moment on, I knew that I had to have someone like you in my life. And as cheesy as it sounds, but everyday that I get to spent with you as my best friend, I’m glad that I spilled my coffee all over you.”

♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡

A frown appears on your face as you read the ‘closed’ sign that’s hanging on the door of the café. Looking through the window, you see no one inside, not even Jungwon. Did you mess up the day? But you clearly remember Jungwon telling you to meet him here on Saturday. Maybe he forgot. Or maybe you did read the message wrong. Unsure, you take out your phone, checking your messages.

Jungwon: Let’s meet up on Saturday. It’s less crowded then. Does 2 pm sound good to you?

It is Saturday and while you’re here 10 minutes earlier, you don’t see how it can be closed. The café normally opens at 8 am and closes at 5 pm.

You sigh, putting your phone back into your pocket, taking one last look into the café. You get ready to just go home and spend the day either doing left up work for some assignments or just get into the bathtub with the book you’ve been wanting to read. But before you can even turn around to walk back to your apartment, you hear a familiar voice calling for your name.

“Y/n”, Jungwon calls out. “Wait up.” He jogs over to you, keys jiggling in his hand.

“I’m so sorry. I wanted to be here earlier, but my mom had a problem with her phone, and I had to fix it for her.”, he explains as he opens the door to the café, holding it open so you can be the first one to enter.

“It’s fine. You don’t have to apologies, Jungwon.”, you say, as you sit down at your usual table which thankfully wasn’t filled with students this time. Jungwon tosses his jacket on the chair next to yours, walking behind the registers and getting his machines started.  

“Why aren’t you taking the ‘closed’ sign away?”, you ask him, watching how he ties his apron.

“Because we are closed today.” His answer is kept short as he’s already focusing on making your coffee.

“What do you mean closed?” You walk over to him, hating the distance between the two of you. You hate to admit it, but you like looking at him when you talk. For some reason, you find the small facial expressions he does whenever you talk to each other adorable. And those dimples. Yeah, can’t get enough of them as well.

“I closed the café today, because I wanted you to feel comfortable while trying the coffee I make. And well, last week I could see how the only thing you wanted to do was go home, so I made sure today that won’t cross your mind even once.”

You feel heat crawling up your neck, painting your cheeks in a red color, as you listen to Jungwon’s words. He closed the café just to make you feel more comfortable.

“Jungwon, you really didn’t have to.”, you say, but as soon as those words leave your mouth, he dismisses them.

“Y/n, it’s important to me that you feel comfortable. I know that this is all a bet we try to win, but over the last three weeks you became a dear person to me, and I will do anything to try to make you as happy as you can be while spending time with me.”

Butterflies fly wildly through your stomach, and you think you might have to throw up. What is happening to you?

Before you can answer him, which you weren’t even sure if you can, he takes the cup of coffee and walks back to your table. You trail behind him like a puppy and take a seat, looking down at the two layered coffee.

“This one is called a Bómbon. It’s originally from Spain. It’s just two ingredients, espresso and sweetened condensed milk. It has two layers, because the condensed milk holds the espresso up without mixing it like milk would do. It’s perfect for someone with a sweet tooth.”

If you had to decide between the two coffees you’ve seen and this one, you would choose the Bómbon based on its looks.

“Well, it already won, because it looks good.”, you remark, making Jungwon let out a small laugh. Another wave of butterflies’ courses through your belly as you hear the gentle sound. Maybe you’re getting sick.

“Give it a try.” And like routine, you take a small sip, ignoring the waiting eyes of Jungwon.

But this time is different. While you can still taste the lingering bitterness of the espresso, the sweetness of the condensed milk is almost completely washing it away. You know, you will still not order this for yourself next time you go to a café, but you can admit that it’s not bad.

“I actually kind of like this one.” Jungwon’s eyes widen at your statement, making him look like a little child on Christmas.

“Wait really?”, he asks, not believing what you just said.

“Yeah. I mean, I will probably not order it again, but for coffee it’s good.”

Jungwon could just accept that, say the bet is over, get his side of the prize and move on with his life. But for some reason that still isn’t enough for him. Three weeks ago, he told you he would make you fall in love with coffee, the same way he fell in love with it. You, telling him the coffee he made is good, but you won’t drink it again, isn’t what he meant when he was proposing the bet.

When he heard you admitting to hating coffee, he felt a crack in his heart. Jungwon was surrounded by coffee his whole life, his grandmother introducing him to the wonders and varieties of it. He learned to love coffee at a young age. When he was ten, he could do better coffee art than most of the big café owners in the city. And while he accepts that every person has different tastes and opinions, something in the way you were so sure of yourself made him want to challenge you. Because who could change your mind if not him? Even his grandmother would have tried to do the same.

So, he can’t give up on the bet. Not when he is that close to making you like coffee. He just has to find the right one for you.

And maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t want the time with you to be over yet and searches for an excuse to see you again. Even if it’s just once a week.  

“Jungwon?”, you gently call for his name. “Are you okay? Did I upset you?”

“No!”, he croaks out, clearing his throat before continuing. “You could never, Y/n. Especially not with expressing your honest opinion.”

He shows you another smile. “I think I already know what coffee to do next.”

“Next? Didn’t you win the bet. I mean I liked this coffee.”, you tilt your head to the side, giving him a confused look. And he thinks that this might be the cutest thing you’ve ever done.

“The bet was to make you fall in love with coffee, not to make you like a drink that you won’t ever touch again in your life. I want to make a drink that you can’t get enough of.”

You look at him, out of words. “The determination you have.”, you say, shaking your head. “But this can’t go on forever. We have to set some kind of limit or else I won’t even have the possibility to win this bet.”

“Okay, how about two more coffees. If I can’t make you fall in love with any of those, you won.” Once more, Jungwon holds out his hand for you. You take it, giving it another firm shake, sealing the new deal.

“To whoever wins the bet and has to fulfill the wish of the other person.”, you cheer on, holding the coffee up in the air.

And while Jungwon is watching you, he isn’t sure who he wants to win the bet anymore.

☕4: Frappuccino

The sun is shining brightly, laying warm on your skin, and filling you with happiness. Maybe that’s why Jungwon decided to close the store again and have the two of you meet up at the local park. On any other occasion you would have thought it was date, but since you know this is all just for the bet, you quickly dismiss that thought.

Instead, you sit on the small park bench with your eyes closed and a small smile on your lips as you enjoy the warmth of the sun. Considering it just being the beginning of spring, the sun hasn’t shown its face in its glory a lot. So, you take in every ray of sunshine you can before it decides to go away again.

As you sit on the park bench, waiting for Jungwon, you take in your surroundings. You listen to the soft chirping of the birds that fly over your head, searching for things to build their nest with. A little squirrel, happy about a nut he found, quickly making its way across the wide meadow of the park to the tree it houses in. Kids are playing on the small playground, running around, and laughing until their stomach hurts. You see the parents, watching their children with fondness in their eyes, wishing to be a kid again and having back this ease in life. An older lady sits at the small pond, throwing bread into it for the ducks to eat. Which they do, giving their approvement of the bread in the form of loud croaks. A blue butterfly makes its way over the meadow, flying gracefully and settling down on a flower not far away from you.

While you watch all of that unfold, your thoughts keep on drifting away to one specific person. Jungwon.

The two of you spend the whole week on the phone together, calling each other after every hard day and talking until late in the night. Just for the two of you to wake up the next day tired, but with fond memories.

The more you talk to him, the more you realize the constant feelings you have when you’re around him. While you do have butterflies swirling around your belly whenever his name is just mentioned, you don’t feel nervous around him. Of course, your cheeks turn into a soft shade of marron when he compliments you and your breath sometimes stocks for a moment, when he gets closer, but you still feel comfortable around him. Completely at ease. Like you do when you step foot into the café. Jungwon makes you feel like you could conquer the world if you wanted to. Encouraging your every dream and never failing to make a miserable day better.

You realize how you suddenly don’t want the bet to end. You don’t want to not see him every week anymore.

All you want is to spend everyday with him. Listen to him ramble about the customers that visit Café Sunshine, hear him laugh at a bad joke you tell and look at you with his wide eyes and dimpled smile.

But the more time you spent thinking, the more anxious you got. You two never met up outside of the café. It was always at the same location, the same comfort zone. What happens if you two realize that outside of the café you might not get along that well? What if he was so dazed by work all the time, that he never actually took a good look at you. And now out in the open with the sun shining so bright, he might change his mind about you. While you don’t think Jungwon is shallow, a part of you still makes you want to cancel the meet up.

You are so kept up by your thoughts that you don’t even notice someone sitting down beside you. Jungwon watches you with an amused smile, seeing that you’re deeply lost in your own thoughts.

But that gives him some time to take you in.

Because of the sunny and warm weather, you opted to wear a yellow summer dress that makes you look like you’re out of a Disney movie. There is some part of him that hopes that you put this dress on for him. That you put this dress on thinking about the theme of his café and him and wanted him to notice that. But he ignores that thought and instead decides to just keep on watching you. As creepy as it may look like, Jungwon finds it really comforting. Sitting in silence with someone, appreciating nature and just living in the moment. These are moments Jungwon doesn’t get often since he works at the café all day long. And when he gets home, he is too tired to do anything except for laying in his bed and sleep. It’s no surprise Jungwon barely has any friends. There are regulars that come to the café, but most of them are elderly people. Sometimes, like two weeks ago, there are people his age at the café, but college life is hard. The constant study and the lack of money is keeping most of the students away from his café. He understands that, of course he does, but part of him is disappointed. Jungwon wished he could make more friends, have people to talk to everyday about the things that are going on in his life. Have people to go on trips with, making late night drives to McDonalds and laughing at the lamest jokes together. Have karaoke nights, get completely wasted together and have one of those 3 am deep talks. That’s all Jungwon wants. And while he does have Jake in his life, he doesn’t get to have those things. Jake moved to Australia two years ago to study. So Jungwon really has no one. No one but you.

And for once in his life, he thinks he can really have all the things he has ever wished for with you. He sees this kind of person in you that he doesn’t want to lose, that he can’t lose. It’s been 4 weeks of texting, calling, and meeting up once a week and he already can’t imagine a life without you. It’s weird. It’s weird how you can meet a person and from one to another day that person is one of the most important people in his life.

Jungwon also can’t deny the underlying feelings he’s evolving for you. He isn’t stupid. Of course, he notices the way his body reacts whenever you step into the room or when he hears your voice over the phone. It also doesn’t help that he thinks about you everywhere he goes. Somehow, he sees you in everything. When he goes grocery shopping and he sees hot chocolate, he thinks about you and the first time you met. When he walks past a book shop, he thinks about you and your constant complains about your stupid English Lit teacher. And only yesterday when half the city was covered in rain and the other blessed by the light of the sun, he thought about you. He wanted to send you a picture of the rainbow that was forming in the sky, telling you how beautiful it is. And if you agreed, he would have told you that it’s not half as beautiful as you. But of course, he can’t do that. He can’t do it because you would think he is weird to tell you such things. And he can’t do it because there is no way you could ever reciprocate his feelings.

Jungwon notices that quite some time passed by, so he decides to gently tap your shoulder. You wipe your head around, looking right into his eyes. By the sight of his face, you let out a sigh of relief.

“You scared the shit out of me, Jungwon.”, you say, a small laugh escaping your lips.

“Sorry, I’ve been sitting here for a few minutes, but you were so deeply in your thoughts, I didn’t want to disturb you.” Blush creeps up your neck. Have you really been that kept up in your mind that you didn’t even notice Jungwon’s presence right beside you?

“Penny for your thoughts?”, he asks, scooting a bit closer to you.

“Oh.”, you stutter a bit. “Uhm, just college stuff. Assignments, exams, deadlines, you know the drill.”

Jungwon nods and you can see something changing in his face. Did you say something wrong?

“Let’s pick out a place to sit, I brought a blanket and some things from the café.” You nod at his words, standing up and following him as he walks through the meadow. He finds a place where the grass isn’t high and no flowers bloom, so you two don’t destroy anything. You help Jungwon lay out the blanket and together you plop down on it.

“Want to know what special drink I prepared for you today?”, Jungwon asks, already opening the small basket he took with him.

“What a stupid question, of course I want to see it.”

He laughs at your choice of words and gets out a plastic cup, putting it down in front of you. “I have to say, I went against all my barista morals with this one.” You take the cup in your hand, gasping slightly as you feel the coldness in your hands. “This is a Frappuccino as Starbucks likes to call it. It’s basically espresso, milk, ice cups and whatever sweet thing you want to have in there. Normally I don’t make stuff like that. I like to stick to the classics, but since it’s really hot today I thought that it would be nice for you. And I heard a lot of people say that this is a great starter drink for people who don’t like coffee. I never made it before, so if it sucks, I’m so sorry. Blame the Starbucks recipe I followed, not me.”

You listen to his ramble with a small smile on your lips. It’s cute how much thought he puts into your weekly coffee meet up. You just wished he would do it for you and not for the bet.

“Well thank you, Jungwon. It looks pretty tasty. What sweet thing did you put it?”

“I put in caramel, since it’s one of the sweetest things I found in the café. I hope you don’t mind.” You shake your head, finding his constant appeasement adorable.

“I don’t mind at all.” The cold drink in your hands feels refreshing compared to the hot weather. You’re not used to these temperatures, having lived in cold winter for a few months. But you can’t complain, you love that the sun finally shows its face again.

Without thinking much, you raise the cup to your mouth, placing the straw between your lips and taking a small sip. All while Jungwon watches you with an expecting look on his face. This is the second to last coffee he made for you. Of course, he still has one more chance to prove to you the wonders of coffee, but the hopes that this one will be the mind changer for you are high. After all he has to remind himself that this is a bet. A silly little bet the two of you agreed on, nothing more.

“You’re torturing me with your poker face. What do you think?”

“If I’m being honest with you,”, you start your sentence looking down at the drink. “I like the ice in it since it’s really cooling down my body, but the drink itself is okay, I guess.” You shrug your shoulders but keep your gaze down, so you don’t have to see the flash of disappointment on Jungwon’s face. “I liked the drink last week better. It tasted more real, you know. I could taste how much love you put into the coffee and this one tastes really artificial.”

Even though Jungwon feels a bit sad that you don’t like the coffee he made today, a part of him feels proud on how you can taste the differences in the coffee he made. Last week as the weeks before, he made the coffees with a lot of time and love, not thinking much of it and just following his passion. With this one he tried too hard. He tried too hard to find something you could like and forgot what this is actually about. He made something that he would never sell in his own café, and it felt  so wrong, but he was so desperate to find something you will like, that he went against his own comfort.

“Thank you for noticing that, Y/N. I promise you that next week I will make something I stand behind again, instead of trying to copy coffee from Starbucks.”

You smile at his words, putting the drink down again. “Oh, I almost forgot. I brought you some iced tea in case you don’t like the coffee.” Jungwon grabs the basket and takes out the drinks he brought, along with all the snacks he made himself.

“Jungwon, you didn’t have to.”, you coo, looking at the delicious treats. You can feel your belly grumbling, remembering that the only thing you ate today was a bowl of cornflakes.

As the two of you munch on the snacks in silence, you remember the conversation you had with Sunoo not so long ago.

“Can I ask you something?”, you speak up after a while, making Jungwon look up from the cake in his hands. He nods softly, dimples appearing on his cheeks. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but it’s just something that’s been on my mind.”

You clear your throat, moving on the blanket so that you sit facing him more. “Sunoo told me that the two of you went to the same class for a while last year, but suddenly you stopped going. When I asked him why, he said he didn’t know. Why did you quit college and started working at the cafè?”

Jungwon knew this question would come sooner or later, but the timing of it still catches him off guard. He thinks for a few moments, not sure how he should answer you.

“Well, I started going to college because I wanted to get a higher education. I always loved going to school and if you believe it or now, but I never missed a day of school when I was still in high school. I didn’t quit because college got too much for me, I loved going there. I loved the stress of the deadlines. I loved spending nights studying and I loved attending all the classes and gathering new knowledge.”

“Then why did you quit?”, you ask.

“Because my grandma died.”, he says, his voice breaking at the end of the sentence. “It was all so sudden. She was fine before and then suddenly I got a call in the middle of class telling me she was at the hospital.”

You scoot forwards, taking his hands into yours and giving them a soft squeeze. “My grandma spent her teenage years dreaming about owning a café. It’s all she ever wanted. Back then she didn’t have a phone where she could google recipes for coffee. She had to teach it to herself and that’s exactly what she did. My grandma sat in the garage with a coffee machine she got from an old store and coffee beans she stole from her parents and worked on the perfect coffee recipes. While other teenagers her age had lemonade stands, my grandma had a coffee stand. She sold the coffee she made and saved the money.”

You can see the fondness in his eyes as he tells the story. “One day as she walked through the city, she saw a for sale sign in front of a small building and when she looked inside through the window, she knew that this was it. This was the place she wanted to build her café in. And against her parents’ will, she did. She bought all the furniture and put months into making it look the way it is. My grandma was the one who painted the walls yellow, who created a save space for people and made everything that’s on the menu herself. She created a place where everyone can be themselves, where no one is excluded, bullied, or shamed in any way. She chose yellow because it symbolizes optimism, energy, joy, happiness, and friendship.”

“From the second I was able to walk I learned all about coffee. How to make it, how to serve it and how to create my own recipes. She taught me the knowledge I have today.” You get lost in his words, the story playing in your head. And you are thankful. Thankful to a woman you’ve never met for not only giving Jungwon something he talks about with so much passion, but for also being such a huge positive part in his life.

“She also named the café after me.”, he adds, a shy smile forming on his lips. “When I was a child, I would always smile. At stranger in the supermarket. At the waitress in restaurants. I was a happy child and so she gave me the nickname sunshine. She would always call me by that name. And one day when we walked into the café together something clicked inside of her. She made this place to bring joy into people’s life and no word describes it better than sunshine.”

You grin at that yourself, finding the little nickname fitting. From the moment you met him, you noticed the positive energy about him, like he baths in sunshine every day. Something about just being in his presence makes all your worries melt away.

“So, when I heard the news, I knew I couldn’t give the café up. My parents are busy at their own workplaces. And no one could have continued my grandma’s dream better than me. I mean, she taught me everything she knew, everything she put into the café. The only logical thing was to drop out of school and continue what my grandma couldn’t finish. It’s what she would have wanted.”

You nod at his words, taking a few seconds to process all the information you just got. Jungwon gives you that time, looking down at your hands which are still holding his.

“I’m sorry for what happened with your grandmother. I’m really sorry you had to go through that.”, you start, squeezing his hands softly again. “And I love how passionate your grandma was about her dream. I admire her for building up something and putting so much time and energy into it. I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been. But I have one question.”

Jungwon’s head lifts, gently tipping to the side, signaling you to continue. “You said that your grandma would have wanted for you to run the café. But do you want it?”

Jungwon is taken back by your question, his face forming into a frown. If he wants this? He never thought about it. For him it was a no brainer. He loves making coffee and talking to people, hearing new stories and making their days better, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Jungwon knew no one could do the job better than him and that his grandmother would have never trusted anyone else with the café. But does he actually want it? He never thought he would be at this place. He thought he would finish college and get a high paid job his parents chose for him. Jungwon never thought he would drop out of college to become a Barista.

He looks into your eyes, uncertainty still lingering in them. “It’s not what I planned for myself, if I am being honest with you, but it is what I want. I love doing it and I can’t imagine my life without going into this little café every single day.”

You smile at him, pleased with his answer. “Are you happy? Happy with the decisions you made so far?”

“Yes.”, he answers. This time without a hint of hesitation. “Yes, I am happy.”

“That’s all I wanted to hear.” You let go of his hands, grabbing your iced tea again. “If you’re happy, then I’m happy.”

And in that moment as Jungwon hears the words that leave your mouth, he knows that there is no way out anymore.

He has fallen for you, way too hard and way too deep.

☕ 5: Vanilla Latte

Over the whole week Jungwon barely texted you.

He wished you good luck on one exam you had and texted you the details of the next time you meet up, but other than that, he stayed silent.

And while you could have just texted him, part of you was holding you back. You never talked about what the two of you are. Friends? Acquaintances? Or more? Is this going to end after the next time you meet up? Or have the two of you become so close that you will still want to see each other afterwards?

Mulling over those questions, you didn’t want to text Jungwon, thinking that it will just confuse you even more.

Jungwon on the other hand waited for you to text him. While this sounds super childish, he just wanted to see if you reach out to him yourself. Maybe he just thought you missed him as much as he missed you this week.

As Jungwon stands in front of the milk counter in the grocery store, he doesn’t notice a figure approaching him.

“Jungwon?”, he turns around, being faced by a bright smile.

“Sunoo, hey. It’s been a while since we’ve last seen each other. How have you been?”

Sunoo sets down his grocery bag that’s already filled with plenty of things. Jungwon assumes you send Sunoo to shop for the items you need, since you told him once how much you hate going grocery shopping and how time consuming and energy draining it is. “I’ve been great. College life is stressing me out, but it’s nothing I can’t manage. What about you?”

“That’s great to hear, Sunoo.”, he sends Sunoo a soft smile. Even though he barely sees Sunoo anymore, he was an important person in Jungwons life for a few weeks. He was the only friend Jungwon had in class, a person he could talk to in his breaks and someone he could exchange notes with. It also helped that Sunoo always knew how to make Jungwons day a bit better. “I’ve also been good. The café is getting more popular, which means more work for me, but I enjoy it. The people are all so kind and I’ve never had this many good conversations with strangers before.”

“That’s amazing, Jungwon. I’m so proud of your accomplishments.” Sincerity laces Sunoo’s voice, clearly happy for his friend. “I would love to continue talking to you, but I have a hangry girl in the apartment and if I take any longer, she will be even more obnoxious than she already his.”

He can tell Sunoo is being sarcastic, but he can’t help to be jealous about it. Sunoo gets to see you every day. He comes home everyday to you.

Jungwon envies him for that. Not only does he want to see you every day, but he also wants a great relationship with you. He wants to be able to tease you and make jokes until your belly hurts from laughing. He wants to come home to you and watch as you study, listening to your complaints about the work and lending you a helping hand. He wants to be the person you put your trust in, the person you rely on when things get tough. But he can’t have that and it’s tearing him apart.

“How is Y/N?”, he asks before Sunoo can leave. “We haven’t texted much this week.”

“Oh, she’s good, I guess. Stressed out and sleep deprived, but other than that fine.” Jungwon just nods, sending Sunoo an appreciative smile before turning back to the milk. Sunoo notices the change in his behavior, seeing right through him. Everyone with a working pair of eyes can clearly see what is going on between the two of you. “But she misses you.”

Jungwon wipes around at those words, eyes wide and mouth agape. “What?”

“She misses you. She talks about you everyday and how she can’t wait to see you again on Saturday.”, Sunoo smiles widely, grabbing his bag again and throwing it over his shoulder. “She seems to really like you, because I never heard her talk about someone as much as she talks about you.”

Jungwon doesn’t know what to answer. A million thoughts swirling around his brain.

“I really got to go now. Have a great day, Jungwon. We will hopefully see each other soon.” With that Sunoo turns around, disappearing in the big store and leaving Jungwon to stand there alone with his thoughts.

What is he supposed to do now?

♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡

There are signs of nervousness seen in your steps as you walk to the café. Everyone that’s passing you by can notice that. The way you pick the skin on your fingers, how your tongue darts out every five seconds to wet your lips and the obvious shaking of your limps. People could also think you are on hard drugs, but you quickly dismiss that thought.

You don’t even know what exactly makes you so nervous about today. Maybe it is because you haven’t heard from Jungwon and you’re scared that you did something wrong. Or maybe it is because you know this day will end your bet and you have no idea what will happen after it.

The uncertainty is really driving you insane.

You tried talking to Sunoo about it, explaining him your situation and having him understand you. But you quickly noticed how that did not work out, because all your best friend said was ‘Just confess to him. Tell him how you feel and how you don’t want to stop seeing him. What’s the worst that could happen?’

The worst is that you will end up making a fool out of yourself. You still hope that the least Jungwon wants is to stay friends with you and continue your weekly meetups. You don’t want to ruin that just because you feel nervous about him. It’s not like you do have feelings for him. It’s probably just a stupid little crush that will go away as soon as the two of you leave the getting to know phase.

Still, you stand in front of the café, a place you feel comfort and happiness in, and you can’t get yourself to actually open the door.

Seeing you through the window, Jungwon walks up to open the door for you. “Hey Y/N, come in.”

With hesitant steps you walk past him and almost immediately, the familiar feeling of tranquility washes over you. You take in the scent of fresh baked cake and newly brewed coffee, thinking that this could possibly be the last time you stand in here. And you notice the slight scent of Jungwon.

Every time you walked into the café you noticed a scent that you couldn’t recognize. Not a bad smell, just something that mingles with the normal scent of the café. Only last week when the two of you sat in the park together, you noticed that that scent belonged to him. And weirdly enough, it brought you comfort. Maybe it is because you associate it with the Jungwons’ workplace or maybe it is just Jungwon himself that makes you feel that way.

“Are you okay?”, he asks as he pulls out the chair - of the table you always sit at – for you to sit down.

“Yeah, I’m fine. What about you? Did you have a stressful week?” As you watch how Jungwon makes his way to the counter to prepare your coffee, you notice how you could never get sick of looking at him. Everyone with eyes sees Jungwon’s obvious attractiveness. His sharp features, the cat-like eyes, his silky brown hair, the wide shoulders, and the dimples. God, those dimples will kill you some day. You could look at him all day long and not get tired of seeing his face, of seeing his smile or the concentrated look on his face whenever he makes coffee. But not only does his appearance allure you, but his personality as well. The witty comments, the way his voice changes whoever he is talking to, his friendliness as he talks to customers. The way he leans down to talk to the children who come to the café, showing them a warm smile as he gifts them a free cupcake. The care he shows for the people he loves, even if it’s sometimes not as noticeable. The passion he carries for his job and the things he loves. And his mind. The thoughts and opinions he carries with him. The way he voices his feelings and tries to never hurt anyone with the things he says.

You could never get tired of that. You could never get tired of him.

“My week was good. The café is booming with new customers, so I have a lot to do. But I’m not complaining. I love how this place gets more and more recognition the more time passes by.” He walks back to you with a see-through cup in his hand that he puts down on the table in front of you.

“This is a Vanilla Latte. It’s not been on the menu for so long, I just added it a few weeks back. It is made of espresso, steamed milk, a little bit of fine foam and lastly vanilla syrup. It’s sweet, maybe he even a bit too sweet. But I thought since you kind of liked the Bómbon, this will be a good choice for you.”, he smiles, sitting down on the chair beside yours.

“What will happen if I don’t like it?”, you ask him, eyeing the coffee in front of you.

“Then you won the bet.”, he answers you, stating the obvious.

“No, I mean what will happen to you? Will you be disappointed?”

“Yeah.”, he says. “I think so, but there is nothing I can do to change that. Even though I put a lot of effort into making those coffees for you every week, it was still fun for me. And a way to practice my abilities. So yeah, I will be disappointed, but I will also be happy that you at least tried to understand me and my love for coffee.”

You nod at his words, taking them in. Part of you was afraid of taking a sip, just like the first week of your bet, but this time for a complete different reason. This time you aren’t afraid of trying something new. This time you are scared that whatever will happen after you take a sip, will change the relationship between you and Jungwon. Now you really want to like the coffee.

Your hand trembles as you reach out for the cup, but the warmth of it eases your nerves, even if it is just a little bit. You lift it to your lips and before thinking too much you take a sip, already used to this routine. Jungwon, as perse, watches you with wide, curious eyes. The hope of turning you into a coffee lover still lingers inside him.

“So, what are your final words?”, he asks after a few seconds.

“It’s definitely the best one you made so far. I really like how strong the vanilla flavor is.”, you answer, trying to end it on that.

“But?” He hears it in your voice and sees it in your face.

“I’m sorry, Jungwon. I just really don’t think coffee is for me. I am so thankful how hard you tried, and I could really see and taste the love and time you put into this. And I’m so proud of you and you should be too, because you have a real talent and make a lot of people happy with what you do.” You smile at him, putting the coffee down in front of him. “But I guess I will just stay with hot chocolate.”

A shy smile forms on Jungwons lips as he hears your kind words, and he can feel the heat crawling up his neck. “Thank you, Y/N. You don’t know how much your words mean to me. And don’t worry about not liking coffee. As you said, it’s just not for you. Even someone like me has to accept that there are actually people out there who don’t like coffee.”

There is something lingering in the air. Like the two of you desperately want to say something, but the words don’t want to come out. You feel the mood visibly shift into awkwardness, uncertainty, and maybe even longing. You can’t handle it. You can’t handle the mess of the feelings inside of you and the way Jungwon looks at you right now. His eyes shimmering with a feeling you can’t describe. He is looking at you like he can read you. Like you are open book to him, and he knows all the answers to the questions that circle around your mind.

It’s getting unbearable. You think you might break under his gaze and spill out every question that you don’t even have an answer for. And that’s not what you want. As long as you aren’t sure about things, you won’t talk to him about it.

So, instead you get up from your seat, earning a confused look from the brown-haired boy. “Are you leaving?”

“Yeah, sorry. I promised Sunoo to be home early so we can have a movie night.” You put on your jacket, grabbing your bag. “Thank you for everything Jungwon.” You send him a wave and a small smile before heading to the door.

“Wait!”, he calls out for you, making you turn around. “You won the bet. What about your prize?”

“I will get back to you for that one. See you, Jungwon.”

And before he can say anything else you are out the door, leaving him and taking half his heart with you.

☕ 5 ½ Affogato

In fact you did not get back to Jungwon. He can’t lie and say that he hasn’t been waiting every day, checking his phone regularly to see if you texted him. Even when he hears the door open, his head whips up just to be disappointed that it’s not you coming to the café.

When the first Saturday came around, Junwon felt weird seeing other customers in the café and not just you. He felt as if a part of him was missing. Somehow, he couldn’t get himself to stop thinking about you wherever he went.

You on the other hand spent most of the last days in your room. Except for the times you had to go to class. You keep on mulling over the things in your head, trying to figure out your feelings. It doesn’t make sense to you that you have feelings so strongly for someone you just met. You thought that the feelings would go away as soon as you didn’t see Jungwon anymore. Thinking that it was just a small crush. But the more time passes and the longer you go without seeing him, the more you long for him, the more you miss him and the more you have this wrenching feeling inside of your chest. When Saturday came along, you didn’t know what to do with yourself. You wanted to go to the café, surprise Jungwon and tell him all the thoughts which have been plaguing your mind. But you couldn’t. There is a part of you that still isn’t sure if what you feel is genuine and a part of you is afraid of rejection. Just because you feel that way doesn’t mean he will. You yourself have doubts on how fast those feelings blossomed. There is a huge possibility that he just did all that for the bet. For the sheer satisfaction of being right. Of proving a point.

All of this didn’t go unnoticed by your best friend. Sunoo has been worried about you ever since you came back from the last time you met Jungwon. He noticed that something went wrong and as he tried to talk to you about it, all you did was dismiss him, telling him you didn’t want to talk about it.

But Sunoo is sick of it. Sick of seeing you so sad and he decides that something has to change.

He ignores your sounds of complaint as he enters your room, muttering for him to leave as you hide yourself under your blanket. “Get up.” His tone is stern, the complete opposite from his normal sweet and friendly voice. It makes you peak your head out of your blanket to look at him.

“Why?”, you ask, making him sigh. Sunoo sits down at the edge of your bed, pulling your blanket down.

“I want you to stop drowning yourself in self-pity and instead get up and do something against whatever it is your feeling.” You sit up, knees against your chest, wrapping your arms securely around them. “Stop being so oblivious and open your eyes. I don’t know what exactly you’re going through, since you won’t tell me, so I’m just going to assume. You are in love with Jungwon, but you are scared. Not only that he won’t like you back, but you are scared of love itself. You fear the potential heart break that it can leave. You think that if you feel this worse already even though you are not even dating, you don’t want to know what it feels when you actually get your heart broken.”

Sunoo takes a deep breath, running a hand through his hair and thinking carefully about his next words. “But that is not how life works, Y/N. If you go through life, afraid of everything that might hurt you, you won’t live. You will hold yourself back from opportunities, from new doors opening. You will stay where you are right now, not moving an inch forward. And believe me that’s not how you want to live your life. So please, for the love of God, go to the poor boy and confess your feelings. I met him at the store the other day and when I told him that you miss him, you should have seen the way his face lit up. He is head over heels for you. He closed his god damn store on Saturdays for you just so that you could feel comfortable while meeting him. He researched coffee and spent a lot of his time making them just to find something that you will like. And when you had a bad day because of the college stress he spent the whole night on the phone with you, making jokes and trying to get you to laugh. That’s not something someone does just because. Jungwon does those things because he likes you.”

“You really think so?”, you ask, your voice small and showing all the doubts that gathered over the days.

“I know so.”, Sunoo answers, squeezing one of your knees softly. “Go get your man.”

♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡

You never thought you would be in a situation like this. It almost feels like you’re in a movie.

The way you run to the café, 5 minutes before it closes, just so you could catch Jungwon before he leaves. The wind blowing your hair through the air and the flowers of the cherry blossom trees, swirling around, painting the scene even more dramatic than it already is.

By the time you arrive at the café, you are out of breath and covered by the pink flowers. But you don’t care, you storm into the small building with determination.

Jungwon stands with his back turned behind the counter, washing the dishes since there is no one in the café anymore. “I’m sorry.”, he says, back still turned to you. “I’m closing now. You can comeback tomorrow and I can make you some delicious coffee.”

You smile at his words, walking up to him. “You can’t even make an exception for me?” At the sound of your voice, Jungwon turns around. Forgetting that his hands are still wet and drenching his apron and the floor with it. But that is not important. What is important is that you actually stand in front of him.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?”

“Well, I won the bet. I came to claim my prize.” A smile graces your lips, but Jungwon doesn’t know what he means. He doesn’t know anything. It’s like his brain stopped working the moment he heard your voice.

“Yeah, right.”, voice breaking in nervosity. “What is it you want me to do?”

“I want you to go on a date with me.”

“What?” Jungwon can’t believe his own ears. Did you really just say that?

“I want you to go on a date with me.”, you repeat. “Over the past few weeks, I noticed myself slowly falling for you. I didn’t tell you because I was scared. I was terrified of getting hurt, to the point where I thought that shutting you out and denying my feelings for you was the best way to deal with this situation. But I quickly got to see that it only caused the exact opposite to happen. I started missing you so much that I felt like a piece of me was not with me anymore. I realized that I can’t live like this. I can’t keep running away from things the moment I get scared and finally face my fears.” You smile at him, tears forming in your eyes.

“I like you, Jungwon. I like you so much, it’s scary. But even considering all this, I want you in my life. No, I need you in my life. And you may not feel the same thing, but I can’t go on knowing I never tried.”

Junwon doesn’t know what to say. No words want to leave his mouth. So instead of saying anything, he walks around the counter and stops right in front of you. He pulls you closer to him and the next thing you know you feel his lips softly pressing against your own.

You melt into him, gripping his shoulders tightly as you kiss him back. You get lost in his scent, in the softness of his lips and the warmth inside of your heart. And you know that this is something you could get used to.

“How about we have it now?”, he asks you after breaking the kiss. His hand tugging a stray strand of hair behind your ear.

“Start what now?”

“Our date.”, he states, letting go of you and walking back behind the counter. “I have the perfect idea. Sit down please.”

You do as he says, watching him work on something. Jungwon joins you not long after, placing a big bowl of ice cream in front of you.

“This is an Affogato. It’s not really coffee, more of a dessert. But it is vanilla ice cream with espresso shots. I got this idea last week and thought you might want to try it out.” Jungwon grabs a spoon himself and together you take a bite of the dessert he prepared.

“Thoughts?”, he asks, the situation way too familiar to the both of you.

“Meh, it’s fine. But I think I will just stick to normal ice cream.” He laughs at your words, a bright cheerful laugh, that fills your whole body with joy.

“I really thought that could be the last thing to change your mind and make you fall in love with coffee anyway.”, he says, a small pout adoring his lips.

You can’t help it but lean over and place a gentle peck on his lips. “Well, I didn’t fall in love with coffee, but I sure as hell fell for someone else.”

You watch as his cheeks turn into a soft shade of red, adoring the way he looks when he’s shy.

“And I sure as hell fell for you too, Y/N. More than you can imagine.”

Bonus

☕4 years later

“I’m sorry, we’re closed.”, you say as you hear the door of the café open. Busy washing the dishes, you didn’t even look over your shoulder.

“You can’t even make an exception for me?”, you hear a familiar voice say. Turning around you are met with the face of your boyfriend, flowers in his hands. This scene seeming way too familiar to you.

“Jungwon!”, you exclaim, drying your hands and walking over to him. “What are you doing here? You are supposed to be resting. I thought you were sick.”

Jungwon shows you a sheepish grin. One of hands reaching up to rub his neck nervously. “Well, about that. I may or may not have lied to you about being sick.”

“What?”, you say, a frown forming on your face. “Why would you lie to me about that?”

Jungwon lays the flowers down on the counter before reaching one of his hands into his pocket. “I had to get something.”

Looking down at his hands, you see him pull out a small velvet box. And before you know, Jungwon is already kneeling down on one knee.

“Y/n, we’ve known each other for the past 4 years and those have been the best years of my life. Before I met you, I felt alone, completely distant from the world. But when you came into my life, suddenly everything made sense. You accepted my love for coffee and even tried to love it as well, which we know didn’t quite work out as planned. You gave me the life I always wanted and now it’s my turn to give you something in return. So, will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?”

Tears stream down your face as you look at the man before you. The man that has done nothing but give you all his love for the past four years. The man you would do anything for. And the man you want to the spend the rest of your life with.

So, there is really no other answer to his question, but…

“Yes. Yes, of course I will marry you.”

[mirage-aera]

can we please get more angst? 🙏

like what if reader decides to unalive herself? cant take the grief anymore and knowing that drinking and binge eating will not do anything but just burn money and delay the inevitable. and simon is too late to save her. cue simon grieving in return and drowning in guilt and self hatred for putting her in that situation.

•°. *࿐ Drowned

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Let Me Down Slowly - Alec Benjamin

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Reader

pt. 1 - pt. 2

Synopsis: By the time Simon returns to your shared home, it's already too late for you. You've hit rock bottom in the rabbit hole, and Simon is ready to jump into that same hole.

Word count: 2.606

Masterlist

First of all I’d like to apologise for my two month(?) absence. I got overwhelmed with school work that I needed to focus on and some personal problems happened. For anyone who has stuck around, this is the long waited part 2 that I promised a while ago. I haven’t written anything in my long break so bear with me. Second of all you guys really want more angst from me. I was planning on doing a happy ending but this will do.

TW!! Suicide, alcoholism

For the people that wanted to be tagged: @somehopeatlast @yyiikes

It’s too much. Everything is too much. Everyone has been telling you that healing takes time. When in reality, all that you feel is despair. Instead of the wound gradually closing, all that’s really happening is your heart getting ripped out day by day. You don’t know how much longer you can keep this charade up. You’re throwing people fake smiles left and right, and ‘I’m fine’ has left your mouth more times than you could actually care for. It’s as if you’re living life as a mindless zombie. Barely doing the bare minimum to sustain yourself. Every time someone checks up on you, you tell them you’re doing okay, could be better but you’re fine. At least, that’s what you want them to think. You’re just a shell of the person you were when Simon was still here and alive. You’re blowing through your money like no tomorrow. But can you get yourself to care enough to do anything about it? No, and not for the foreseeable future. You spend your days drinking away, either at home or in bars. You’ve tried moving on, but the only thing you’re able to see in them is Simon. You chicken out before anything can get serious. Your bingeing habits haven't changed a bit, you’re on the same routine.

It's been months and you can’t get out of this rabbit hole you’ve dug yourself. Months.

It’s crazy to think about the chokehold Simon has on you, even when he isn’t physically here himself.

You’ve had enough. You’re not living life as is. You’re practically a dead person walking, a mindless being. All you’re doing is blowing money when you could be doing anything else but that. You’ve contemplated long and hard about this decision, and to be frank. You see no negatives to this option. Taking the way out seems like a way better alternative for you than continuing to waste the air around you with useless breaths.

The hooded figure that you sometimes see outside your window has started showing up less and less. You’ve made eye contact before, but before you can even mutter a word out the shadow has vanished. As if he never existed and is a figment of your imagination. You could’ve sworn that those were the eyes of Simon. His sharp brown eyes are unmistakable. You can recognize them from anywhere. But, he is dead. The possibility of it being him is simply impossible. You stare solemnly out the window. You want to see whether the shadow really is a figment of your imagination, or if it’s actually a person. But they never show up. If the shadow had shown up, would you have gone through with your plan? Probably not. As insane as it might sound, you feel a sort of pull for the shadow. As if it’s calling out for you.

When all you can see is the dark starry night. You sigh and shut the blinds. No one needs to see what you’re going to commit. You head upstairs to your once-shared bedroom. You walk absentmindedly to Simon’s bedside drawer. Revealing a small handgun. He always keeps weapons on him, or around him. To keep both you and him safe in case anyone ever dares to try anything in your own home. You pick up the piece of iron. Simon has taught you how to use it, in case there’s an emergency and he isn’t there to protect you. Back then it felt like a light piece of metal. Now, it sits heavy in the palm of your hand.

You slowly sit on the floor. Your back against the side of the bed. You expected to feel afraid. But to your surprise, you don’t feel anything at all. As if everything is numb. For that part you are a little thankful for, it’ll make this so much easier for you to do. You turn the gun in your hands. Inspecting your executioner. Minutes pass, and you’re still sitting idly on the floor. You’re waiting for the right moment. Deep down, you’re hoping that Simon will walk through the door. Wrap you up in his arms and tell you how everything is okay now. That it was simply a mission gone wrong, which made it so he couldn’t come home at the promised time frame. But as the silence of the house engulfs the house in an eerie peace. You close your eyes. This is the right moment. Simon won’t show, and he won’t show. You need to get that in your thick skull.

You look around your shared bedroom for the last time. Picture frames litter your dressers. His clothes are still hanging in his section of your closet. You put the gun away and back into his nightstand. You can’t do this, not here at least. Not at the serenity that belongs in your bedroom.

You scramble up from the floor. You pick up the crinkled piece of paper sitting on Simon’s desk. You go downstairs and pin it on the fridge with a magnet. Visible for anyone who comes looking for you. You rush outside, not bothering to bring a jacket with you. You’re not going to need it anyway. You run outside, not noticing the shadow blending in the night watching you. He wants to follow you, like he usually does, wanting to make sure you don’t do anything stupid or that you’ll regret. But this time, he can’t bring his feet to move. He simply watches you run off to whatever destination you have in mind.

You run off to the bridge you frequent with Simon. Not a lot of people go across it during the day. No one ever comes through at midnight. Giving you time alone to think and reminisce. You lean on the metal railing. Images of the various late-night dates Simon would take you on during his off days flash through your mind. You crack a small smile at that, embracing the pleasant memories once again. Your smile drops. Memories, that’s all they’ll ever be. You won’t be able to recreate them or make new ones anymore, not with Simon or anyone else. You brush away stray tears and let out a soft sniffle. You climb over the railing. You stand on the other side, peering down at the frigid cold water below. You look behind you, making sure no one is there. You suck in a deep breath, close your eyes, and let yourself slowly tip over the edge. One to two seconds feel like minutes. You feel the wind rushing past your face. Soon the cold water greets you. Despite the freezing temperature, it feels like a warm embrace. As if it’s welcoming you. You let yourself sink, letting more memories of you and Simon flash through your mind. Soon enough, everything goes black. You’ve lost this battle. Was it worth it? Some would say not, but to you? It was. You were miserable day after day. This was a peaceful alternative.

***

The shadow gets worried when hours pass by and you don’t return home yet. A bad feeling settles in the depths of his stomach. A nauseating feeling overwhelms him. He emerges from the shadows of the night. His mask was illuminated by the moonlight. He wants to know where you’ve gone. He shoves a flowerpot on your front porch aside with his foot, revealing a spare key. He grabs it and unlocks the door. It opens slowly. He steps inside, he takes off his worn boots. Not wanting to have anything traced back to him, anything that’ll show someone has been in the comfort of your own home. He looks around with confusion. He spots your phone and keys on the dining table. That’s weird. You never leave without those items, something Simon has drilled into your mind. He frowns behind his mask. He looks around everywhere. Eventually, he finds himself in the kitchen. At first glance, nothing seems out of the ordinary. He squints his eyes at the fridge. A note is pinned on the piece of metal. He takes big strides towards the fridge and reads the note. His heart sinks to his stomach. The urge to throw up is getting to him.

To anyone who finds this note. It’ll most likely be you, Price. I’m sorry. I know I’ve said that I’m fine, that I’m getting better. But I think you know this as well, that I’m not. If anything, I’m getting worse by the day. I’ll keep it short. I have nothing much to say anyway. Not that anyone would care. Don’t come looking for me. I’ll be long dead by the time you find this note. I don’t even know where I am. I might be in my bedroom, bathroom, in a ditch somewhere, or even floating in a river. On the bright side, I’m happy. Happier than ever. Don’t worry, I’ll be okay. I have Simon to keep me company.

I love you Simon, I’ll see you soon.

He rips the note off the fridge. He rereads it over and over. Hoping, no, praying that his eyes are deceiving him. That this is just some sick joke being played on him. You’ve done your fair share of pranks on him, but they’ve never been this extreme. He crumples up the note and shoves it in his pocket. He rips his mask off and throws it on the table near your phone and keys. He lets out a snarl. He slams his palms on the wooden table. “Fuck!” He exclaims. He pulls out his burner phone. He dials a number. They immediately pick up on the third ring. “Simon.” A low voice comes through. “Price.” He replies. He clearly doesn’t sound happy. He can’t let out tears, not now. He doesn’t deserve to. “Did you find something?” This sets something ablaze in Simon. He lets out a dry chuckle. “I’ve found something alright.” He sneers. He can’t help but convert the feeling of anguish to anger, and frustration. Anything but sadness. A low hum follows. “What did you find?” He takes a deep breath in. “I’ve found a suicide note in my own home.” He spits out. A painful silence ensues. “What?” He glares at the wall, lined with your pictures together. “You’ve fucking heard me. Want to explain that to me? You said she was doing fine!” A sorrowful sigh could be heard through the fun. “That’s what she said. I-” Simon interrupts him. “And you believed her?! How didn’t you see what was going on?! I told you, I fucking told you to keep an eye on her while I am gone!” He snaps. Something he probably shouldn’t do to Price, but he can’t bring himself to care right now. Another sigh could be heard. “Simon, listen. The mission-” He scoffs. “I don’t give a damn about the mission right now. My girl is dead for fucks sake!” He shouts. He continues. “I wasn’t happy with this mission. I already told you, I’d only agree to do this if you keep a close eye on her. I trusted you, Price. Now look at what happens. I faked my death, and now she’s dead!” He takes another deep breath to calm himself. “After this mission, I’m done. I’m pulling out. It’s about time I retire from this shithole anyway.” He sneers and hangs up. He throws the phone down on the table as well. He runs a hand through his hair in frustration.

He takes a seat at the table. He runs his hands down his face. A million thoughts run through his head. How did it end up like this? Multiple what-ifs pop up in his mind. What if he showed himself to you on the first day he came back to see you, would you still be alive? He lets out a low growl and slams his fist down on the table. Silent tears stream down his face. How does he always fuck up whatever good comes in his life? At this point, he’s just cursed. He can’t have happiness without something ruining it.

After he collects himself he gets up, but he still has work to do. And as much as he wants to drown himself in guilt and self-hatred. He understands that he still needs to finish his mission. He narrows his eyes as he walks out of your house. The people at the other end of his wrath need to watch their backs. Simon will make anything and anyone suffer, to make them feel the same pain he’s feeling. Deep down, he knows nothing will compare to it.

***

A fucked mission later, a hell of debriefing, he comes back home as a retired soldier. A home that has turned into a cold, haunting, and uninviting. Everything that made this house a home was you, you were his home. You aren’t here anymore. And it’s all his fault. If only he went against orders, let you know what was happening. You would still be here. If only he came to check on you more often, he could’ve seen the signs and stopped you. If only he could’ve shown any sign he’s still alive, you would probably still be here. Alive, breathing, at home, doing whatever you love to keep yourself busy while he’s gone. But no. He fucked up, and he’s paying the price for it.

For days on end, he will feel the remorse, the regret, the guilt. He would fall into the same rabbit hole you dug. Instead of you going down it. You’re already rock bottom, he’s simply joining you. He spends his time drinking. That’s what he knows helps best in this situation. Whenever he’s not drinking he’s spending time in his home gym.

A thought crosses his mind. The same one that has yours at one point. He lays in bed, your pillow still has your smell and it haunts him. He reaches over to his nightstand and opens his drawer. What he sees breaks his heart all over again. His gun. It has been moved. He’s certain this wasn’t how he left his gun before he left. He always made sure that the grip was facing him so he could grab it quickly in a time of emergency. It isn’t lying in that position anymore. He sits up with the gun in his hand. He plays around with the piece of iron in his hand. Unloads and loads the bullets over and over. Pushing the safety back and forth. Anything to distract him from the void he’s feeling in the pit of his stomach. Your note that you’ve left on the fridge rests on his nightstand. You said you were going to be okay. That you’ll have Simon to keep you company. Well, he isn’t fucking there, is he? He wants to join you so desperately. But he’s afraid, not of death. But even if there is an afterlife, would you accept him? He lied to you. A lie that cost you your life. He doesn’t know if he could endure that on top of the grief he’s feeling. But even seeing you one last time would be better than this.

So he sits there, in the darkness of your shared bedroom. Contemplating if he should join you. Something you were doing a few nights prior. If only he didn't accept the damn mission. He wouldn’t be drowning in his grief and self-hatred if he let the mission go. You would be here, in his arms. And that thought would forever haunt him until he does opt for the other route.

I’m sorry lovie, for everything.

[jscwrites]

Please Follow this Backup Blog for Vendetta-IF

Hey guys, it's jsc, the author of Vendetta. I'm making this blog to backup all of the stuff I've posted over on the vendetta-if blog because I can't access my main account. Until I can access my account again, this will be the blog I'll use to interact with all of you and post updates. And in the worst case scenario, this will become the main blog.

So, please, follow this blog as I will be posting updates and answering asks like usual here. Also, for those who want to share their fanarts and other fanworks, please tag this blog too so I can see it. I'll also start reblogging some posts and asks from the Vendetta blog here in hopes of preserving them as much as I can. So, be prepared for a little blast from the past as we walk down the nostalgia road, I suppose.

I'm really sad because just earlier today, I checked my followers count and saw that we were 30 followers away from reaching 4K Followers in the main Vendetta blog, and I was thinking about what to do to celebrate it. Plus, there are also so many awesome fanarts and asks that I don't want to just be gone, which is why I'm making this blog to reblog all of them.

For those who are new and wondering what my story is all about, please check out the intro post I've reblogged. I might need to make another intro post in the future if I never get access back to my account, but for now, I hope it'll suffice.

IMPORTANT LINKS

[ORIGINAL INTRO POST]

[VENDETTA BLOG ARCHIVE]

[DEMO | Latest Chapter: 6 Part 1 | 272.8K words total] 

[FORUM] 

[PATREON] | [KO-FI]

[DISCORD]

CHARACTER RELATED MASTERPOSTS:

[CHARACTERS LIST]

[ARTBREEDER PORTRAITS] [ROs] [Other Pt. 1] [Viktor] [Other Pt. 2]

[CHARACTER PLAYLIST]

ADDITIONAL LINKS

[PUBLIC SIDE STORIES LIST]

[AO3 WRITTEN FANWORK] -> Currently 3 works

For those who are interested in what happened, I'll tell the details under the cut.

So, a few hours ago, I decided to open my iOS Tumblr app to check on notifications and stuff, as I usually do. But instead, I got hit with the Tumblr error messages over and over as it keeps trying to load in.

At first, I just thought it was my cellphone Internet connection, so I tried logging in on the desktop. At first, after I input all of my login credentials, the page loaded, but it brought me to the viewing page of my Vendetta blog as a non-user. I tried again, and this time, it said that my account got terminated. I never got any email from Tumblr about this, and it came as a shock because I just used my Tumblr earlier today to reblog some fanarts with no problem and I have never really used my account for other non-IF related stuff.

So, I scrambled to ask my members in Discord whether my Vendetta blog is still up, and thankfully it still is. But, my main account is somehow gone. The problem is, my Vendetta blog is actually a sideblog to my main account, jsclarissa.

As you can see here, when I tried searching for my main account, it says "Ghost blog! This blog does not exist." despite me having used that account to respond to comments and send asks to other authors before.

I have sent a support ticket to Tumblr support and also tweeted them on Twitter. I really hope they can give me my account back as I'm pretty sure this is some kind of technical issues on their end. I'm just worried about how long it would take them to respond and of course, the worst case scenario that it actually got terminated, so, I'm making this account.

Even if I got my account back, I'll still reblog stuff from the main blog here and maybe I can finally have a more personal blog where I can talk about stuff that is not really related to Vendetta.

[berry-s0da]

AI “art”

Yesterday I argued with an idiot that thought giving directives to an AI makes you as much of an artist as someone that is actually capable of creating art. It’s extremely worrying that our youth is so incapable of understanding this topic, too self absorbed on their own rigid conception of reality and utterly detached from the real world and the importance of the people you share it with, of consequences, of tangibility. They don’t know how to define art, such a core concept for our species, they are unaware that it’s an exclusively human practice a machine cannot produce by itself or for them.

Some of Oxford Language Learner's Dictionary definitions if you want tangible sources for something that has existed for longer than any piece of technology;

Definition of an Artist: a person who creates works of art, especially paintings or drawings.

3 definitions of Art:

1) the use of the imagination to express ideas or feelings, particularly in painting, drawing or sculpture.

2) the skill of creating objects such as paintings and drawings, especially when you study it.

3) an ability or a skill that you can develop with training and practice.

(defining a piece through words could turn into literature, writing is an outlet for creativity and imagination too, the problem is that they want to claim a graphic piece they had no part on as their creation…which makes no sense for obvious reasons. This might blow your mind but you actually have to be involved in the making of a piece in order for it to be an artist. Writing a brief description of what you want the AI to make for you is not a form of creation, it’s a directive for a machine to do what you can’t)

If you don’t have mental resources, talent, skills, capacity of handling different tools, mediums and techniques then you are not an artist (and that’s okay), but you could be if you tried. Writing a prompt is not making art, everyone with enough mental capacity can come up with a concept for a piece, people that commission artists do that and that doesn’t automatically make them artists.

An AI won’t do shit the way you request it even if you say it does. An AI makes an interpretation of the request but asides from mild guidance, you have absolutely nothing to do with the process or the final “piece” (Frankenstein monster of already existing pieces, taken with or without consent).

An AI without regulation isn’t a new medium or something comparable to the fucking Industrial Revolutionjust, specially considering it isn’t a new, easier way to do the same task (like with an art software). It’s but a shameless way of reusing or straight up stealing pieces produced by the same artists you deem to be now useless and outdated. What you call the future is nothing but plagiarism, the usage of things that already existed in a much higher quality, a wonky replica that is only valued because it’s free for your cheap ass.

“Good artists have nothing to worry about, only shitty artists will disappear” im sorry you have to find out this way but every good artist had to be shit first. We reached a point where we are unaware of periods of time any artist needs in order to grow and develop. This logic is baffling because if only good artists are worth of being respected and having stable jobs then we’ll eventually run out of artists, which is not only silly but impossible. This is but an excuse to avoid the obvious issue that represents stepping over people and making it seem as a fair, natural process.

Finally, If you wanna draw, learn to draw first, nobody stops you but yourself. If you wanna paint learn to paint, if you wanna sculpt, learn to sculpt, if you wanna be an artist then get your ass to work. Not everything is laid out for you in life, you actually have to put work into something, as shocking as it sounds. There are people that draw masterpieces holding pencils on their mouths, you have no excuse other than self pity for being useless, being jealous of those that can actually make things and, ultimately, the unreserved, unapologetic disinterest in those affected by this monster y’all wanna have fun with.

[runabout-river]

Gege famously kills off unneeded characters, so why didn't he kill off these plots?

This is going to be a list of plot points and threads that hang around in JJK without a proper ending and sometimes without a proper middle or explanation either. They're just there promising something but not delivering on it and with only 3 chapters left most of those won't be delivered on at all, not satisfyingly at least.

This list is not made to critizice Gege's story telling because the manga hasn't ended yet and many of these things wouldn't make sense to critizice villy-nilly. This list is made to show that Gege can and even might make Jujutsu Kaisen Part 2 with everything he's established, put into the story, and deliberately didn't cut out even though he has no problem doing so with characters.

Also, I'm sick right now, so there won't be much explanation on most things. If there are questions, I will elaborate later.

The Culling Games have not Ended

They still go on because players like Yuji and Hakari are still alive

We didn't even come close to the Merger

We have so much setup including pregnant Sukuna who left baby Tengen (probably) with Megumi now.

When as a writer you introduce world ending stakes, you better deliver on them even if only for the good guys to win against them.

Those stakes were never even reached though

The foreign invasion of Japan was introduced but then forgotten about

There are now militaries in Japan who abduct sorcerers for resources, giving Gege vast storytelling potential for the future

But Gojo could've dealt with them off screen and Yuta might continue to protect Japan in his stead now. This plot thread can be dealt with in the last 3 chapters but you would still ask: Why was it here at all?

Remy survived

Remy was the girl who tricked Megumi and who Megumi wanted to kill afterwards. Tsumiki's soul intervened on Remy's behalf and saved her, just for Remy to abducted later. She's one of those characters Gege could've killed but instead we have a scenario where Megumi is poised to save her now.

Tengen, the Star Plasma Vessel and the Six Eyes are connected by Fate

Multiple SPVs can exist simultaniously but not the 6E. After Gojo's death this minor detail mentioned by Tengen became obsolete for the story.

But then Yuta took over Gojo's body and now the 6E are back for this particular fate to happen again especially with Tengen's life in the strange state it is

Gege had come up with the story of the 3 Kugisaki women at the beginning of the manga

But instead of discarding it at the end of it, becasue it had no relevance or plot attention at all, Gege decided to open that thread and let it hang there, promising things to come like the bastard that he is with regards to the Kugisaki family.

Megumi's incomplete Domain

This is basic story telling especially in battle shonen: when you show the audience an incomplete ability, then by the end that ability has to be mastered barring a tragic end to the character.

Gege could throw us a curve ball about his domain with the last chapters but with Sukuna defeated now all tension of him accomplishing it is out.

But if this is Megumi's midpoint of his character arc and development, then everything regarding him, his domain and even his relationship with Sukuna can come to a proper end in JJK2

Sukuna's and Megumi's relationship and interactions were lacking in the end

But with Gege deliberately leaving behind 1 Finger, the option of Sukuna coming back as a curse, the remains of his first body most likely being permanent parts of Megumi, and not to forget the psycological and physical scars that Megumi has from him now, the potential for deep future interactions is there.

Sukuna's story has only been told to us from the perspectives of others

Sure, that does not have to change. Gege can leave it like that and he could or could not give us a Sukuna flashback in the last 3 chapters.

But he can go further than that and delve into that villain from more angles outside of mainly the narrator's and Yuji's.

He could eg go into the difference between Sukuna's relatiosnhip with Yuji and his relationship with Megumi to dive deeper into his personality

Kenjaku/Kaori, Jin and Yuji - none of that is resolved in any way

Just like how Kenjaku's true motives for creating the perfect vessel, who was in the end the perfect cage for Sukuna, was never explained.

Those are the most pressing things on my mind for why I believe that Jujutsu Kaisen will come back with a Part 2. Like, Gege is no stranger to tying up loose ends with an unforgiving cut, so why not with these things?

I've probably forgotten some things too but I'm also coughing my lungs out right now so I forgive myself.

[factual-fantasy]

26 askss!! ✨💖🐻💖✨

@milk-powrit

XD actually, Bibi never minded being the shortest. Because Jangles and I never made fun of him for it. But he's probably happy that there's now 2 people short enough to give him proper hugs 🥺

And to be honest, I haven't thought too much out about character facts :0 other than Cici is a smarty pants and can be a lil sassy at times XD But in a harmless/charming way.

Also oh yeah, Gerald loves puns. XDD Although he hasn't had any cake before.. so idk what his favorite could be. What ever is the funniest flavor I suppose XDD

@luckyglasses

AAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DD Happy holidays!! :}}

@deadly-skeleton123

Oh you're new to Tumblr? Ahhh word of advice then- If I may? It might be a good idea to change your profile picture. Tumblr has a big bot problem. And a lot of the bots have default profile pictures just like yours. A lot of people might see your account in their feed and just block/report on sight. Not fun.. also I suggest you do the same though, if someone with default profile picture, banner, no bio, no posts follows you... that's probaaaaably a bot and should be blocked--

ANYWAYS! So for the Captain Barnacles/Crab comic. I don't plan on finishing it. And the reason why I abandoned it was because the way I had written the comic had everyone acting out of character. The blood was over the top, it was too dramatic,, ugh.. I got tired of my own comic half way through making it. <XD

The comic was gonna end with the rest of the crew showing up, they take the Captain to the octopod, and Peso cries because "I was too scared to help the Captain.." Which is just stupid <XD

Peso would not cower in fear in this situation. Even if Captain Barnacles turned like that and became very scary. Peso has had an extended history of getting it together and braving through anything to help creatures in need. And if his own Captain/friend was hurt? Nothing would stop him. Nothing could scare him away.

In the perfect re-write, Peso would ace this situation. He would approach Barnacles perfectly and calm him down. He would patch the wound, guide him to the gups. Guide him into the octopod and into the med-bay. Expertly deal with the wound and clean up all the blood.

Sure maybe after everything was done he would cry a bit out of the stress of it all. But originally everyone else did everything for Peso because he was too scared to help the scARy CapTAIN OOOO!!

Nah, that dumb. Peso is way stronger than that. #justiceforpeso

I made one yeeeaaarrs ago when I was into Sonic. But it centered around a Sonic OC of mine. <XD I don't tend to do much insert OC stuff anymore..

I imagine Bonnie would just sigh and try to get through it on his own. And not go to Foxy for help.. Worse case scenario he gets overwhelmed and shuts down on stage and ruins the show. Which is fine by him. He'd think, "Serves them right for puttin me on that stage. Faz-bear entertainment deserves to have their show flop for how they've treated me.. for how they've treated us."

XDD Hey! That's Veggietales isn't it?

@elegysonnet

XD That's what I was thinkin! That, and they were basically fully fleshed out characters but their bodies just didn't exist yet. Since their future existence was so set in stone Jangles was able to connect to their minds..?? XD I guess??

Thank you so much!! :DD Also CAPTAIN BARNACALES FTWWW!! ✨💖🐻💖✨

@taizarack

XD New friend indeed! Cici is technically an old friend, she's existed longer than Jangles and Gerald! XD

@manybrokenquills

JOKES ON YOU I'M ALL OF THOSE THINGS XDD

Also thank you! I'm glad you've stuck around and like what you see! :DDD

@wildwitchofthewest

AAAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDDDD

@smallangryartist

1: AAAA I'm glad it fooled you! When I drew it in I knew that anyone with a different Tumblr theme wouldn't be fooled.. but I'm glad I got at least 2 people! XDD

2: Also aww.. even if they were happy tears, sorry for making you cry! <XD

ALSO WAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DD Also also don't worry, I'm taking a nap and drinking water at the same time as we speak! XD

(Also also also that heart shattering might come sooner than you think..👀)

Nahh, my gnome is built different. All he needs to thrive is a steady supply of pepperoni pizza and a very large 3 inch deep puddle XD

@beryl-shade

Maybe! :0 At the very least I imagine they'd get along. My Seam is soft spoken, polite, mellow.. he's probably a nice person to share a cup of tea with! :}

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDD

@coolkoaladeer @thesweetishfish

@boringa55binch

Its hard to say, I didn't ever like.. try to replicate an art style and draw something unrelated. Like- if I was drawing in the gravity falls art style, I was drawing gravity falls stuff. I wouldn't draw in the gravity falls art style and draw random ocs and stuff. If that makes sense-

But maybe one style was easier to draw hands in than another. So I.. might have adopted some stuff..?? I guess??

I guess that would mean my art style developed off of the different franchises I made fanart from? If that's the case it was likely Gravity Falls, Sonic x, and Steven Universe..? Mostly?? XD Sorry this answer is all over the place-

Many actually! Its just unfortunate because all of them are giant comic ideas but I'm too wiped out from my 20k celebration to really draw any of themmmm... 😩sighhhh

@funtimespringscare101

XDDD I'm glad you like them! And I can imagine that they might be shy to hug new people- but Gerald probably wouldn't mind! XD

@ayoshivader

Since that statement I have re-written the timeline.. So who's to say any of that still stuck and what her motives were/are now..? 👀

<XD I've never played the paper mario games so that's why I've never drawn them.. it sounds really cute though! :D

Taking the quilt off does nothing, the quilt doesn't bring them to life either! Remember that Bibi could talk when he was a still picture and was brought to "life" without the use of a quilt or even any glowy effects. Also Jangles had a quilt as a drawing and was "brought to life" using a pen!

The point I'm getting at is, Pen? Quilt? It doesn't matter. None of these methods actually give the characters life. I do. All these fancy ways I seem to bring them to life are just for show <XD

@housome

XD The first thing that came to mind was Freddy telling Fredbear about Gregory.

Freddy: "I'm keeping a child hidden in the basement.."

Fredbear: "...you're keeping a CHILD in the BASEMENT??"

Freddy: "LISTEN ITS TO PROTECT HIM--"

Also thank you! :DD

Naahhh he'll be fine 😉

And yay! Cici and Gerald!!! XDD

To put it simply, fanart makes me feel bad. And Comments make me feel good. So I prefer comments to fanart. 👌

To complicate it a bit, when I post artwork I'm just sitting there all giddy waiting for the first "AKSJKASAU WAAAAA 😭😭😭" comment to pop up. When I get fanart I immediately get frustrated and uncomfortable. Fanart feels like stealing and usually invokes a negative reaction from me. So if people want to show their appreciation for my work, leaving comments is 100% more effective and preferred. 👍

Also thank you! :DD

@scp-16217

XD These are great match ups!

[arabella-strange]

The problem is, there are two problems:

Problem #1: The Gods. They hold all the cards. They act like they're inevitable, immovable, and most important of all? Already here—they're a known danger. Literally the devil (and celestials and others) you know. But just because they are complex and flawed and powerful and pre-existing and far-reaching and far-knowing, does that mean we mortals of Exandria must accept their power regime forever? Can those under their domains not choose to strike out for a radical new future of unknowns—not even try? And yes, absolutely, they're good to us sometimes, they like or love us sometimes, they want what's "best" [according to them] for the world and the universe sometimes. But just because of those sometimes, just because things would change in unprecedented ways that might even be daunting or frightening or hard, does that fear mean we have to yield and submit to their fundamental prioritization of their continued dominance over us? Solution: unclear. Who gets to decide: also unclear.

Problem #2: Ludinus and Predathos. Ludinus has seized unilateral control. He has decided (as Orym pointed out) that he knows best, that "the ends justify the means." He has likewise decided (as Imogen pointed out) that what he wants and his judgment have achieved a level of rightness that must either be followed or be cut out of his way. If you're not with me, you're my enemy. Now, these two problems are intertwined at present because Ludinus is partly responding to Problem #1—namely, the injustice of living under what mortals must [he asserts] realize is not an inevitability or a necessary constant of the world. But he has turned in his campaign to solve this problem to Predathos, a total unknown, and Ludinus has gone so far down this path that he has convinced himself (or allowed himself to stop questioning) that his solution is the only right one. The absolute conviction without regard for harm, for alternatives, or for consequences makes him and this route a problem in its own right. Solution: unclear. Who gets to decide: also unclear.

*** But the thing I hope there is still time for? is a disentangling of these problems.*** Because Ludinus has warped the conversation so much, sooooo much, to make it seem like Problem #1 MUST be solved and it must be solved NOW, HIS way. But that's not true. If the Gods must be overthrown—if it is their time to become simply "the old gods"—then that deserves consideration. But he does not get to decide on behalf of the whole world that his way is the only way; there is no evidence that this is the only way and the only time and the only terms by which this important, maybe-uncertainly-possibly necessary step must be taken. But he benefits by making everyone think so.

[p-h03n1-x]

Excerpt from Xiao Zhan’s interview and WeChat article posted by Elle "Xiao Zhan, The Simpler, The More Complex"

Part 3 Elle September 2024 magazine with Xiao Zhan. Link to part 1 here and part 2 here

ELLE: Do you watch any sci-fi movies or read sci-fi literature?

Xiao Zhan: Yes, I used to enjoy reading "Three-Body Problem." Recently, I’ve been watching some sci-fi shows, like the American series "Kaleidoscope" and "Chao's Adventure in Parallel Universe." They all touch on infinite loops and parallel universes. I find the concept of parallel universes fascinating because each choice you make could potentially create a different parallel universe.

ELLE: Do you ever imagine what Xiao Zhan in a parallel universe is like?

Xiao Zhan: Yes, I really do. For example, is he still an actor? Maybe he is, but is he still filming now? Is he still singing? Or is he a designer? Is he working for someone, or has he started his own business? (laughs) Yes, I really think about this.

ELLE: What about the future? What do you think it will be like?

Xiao Zhan: Wow, I actually think the future might see a return to simplicity. This world might become more beautiful, with people going back to more fundamental ways of communicating.

ELLE: That’s interesting. Why do you think that?

Xiao Zhan: Well, I’m personally a bit averse to the omnipresent nature of the internet. When we were kids and didn’t have phones, we’d chat over meals, and friends would call each other downstairs to play, hide-and-seek, and various games. I actually think those times were precious.

ELLE: Do you think the profession of acting will still exist then?

Xiao Zhan: I think it will. I believe as long as life continues, drama will continue. People need an outlet, and they need emotional resonance and solace, whether through images or sounds. So, I think that even if the world were to be destroyed, as long as people still exist, drama will definitely exist.

[amiti-art]

TSATS SPOILERS

Okay, so I finished the book and I have a question: where tf is Apollo?????

I get that he couldn't go on a quest with them, he said so at the end of ToN but why doesn't he appear at camp at the end of the book? Or at least visit Will in a dream? Hades did that for Nico.

Also at the beginning it's said that Rachel spoke the same prophecy like 12 times. Apollo is literally the god of prophecies, why isn't he doing anything about it? (Unless Rachel first went to him and he told her to go with this to Nico and Will and asked her not to tell them that he sent her. Idk just an idea).

Personaly I don't have a problem with Will thinking that he might not see Apollo in years or even ever again, because well, it's not presented as fact, it's what Will thinks. And it fits with his fear of abandonment that we can see later in the book. If he has moments when he thinks that his boyfried could leave him behind in the Tartarus or the Underworld then I can easily belive that he thinks that his dad wouldn't bother with visits now when he's a god again.

But that's exacly why Apollo visiting at the end, to give Will comfort after a dengerous quest, would be perfect. It would prove that Will's assumptions were wrong. (I'm just gonna pretend that this is what happened the next day 🙃)

This book has a problem with mentioning important characters in general. Like where are Jerry, Gracie and Yan, you know, Will's new siblings? What was the point of introducing them if their existence is never acknowledged? Austin and Kayla are never mention during the quest itself, they just go home and Will and Nico never think or talk about them. And Hazel, the only alive sibling Nico has, is mationed like once I think???

So it's not that Apollo is the only victim of narration here, but he it the most noticible one because 1) he was a main character in the previous books. 2) he's name is constantly mantion in reference to Will: 'son of Apollo said this' 'son of Apollo did that' and so on. And maybe it's just me, but did anyone else noticed that Will is refered like this a bit too often? Like Nico is somtimes called "Son of Hades" by narration but not near as often as Will is called his father's son, especialy in the later in the story. Like at some point I had a feeling that the book was literally screaming at me "Hey remember Will's dad? This guy named Apollo? Yeah we know he's not in this book, but don't forget about him! He's still important we swear". Anyone else noticed this? Maybe I'm just being delusional but I swear they were doing this for a reason.

I don't know what are Rick's plan for the future, maybe there will be an explanation on why Apollo was so ignored by this book. Maybe he was super busy with something, or maybe he feard that if he intervenes he would bring Zeus' attention to Will and Nico and tbh we don't know how Zeus feels about quest to Tartarus, especialy if the said quest involves saving a titan (because let's be honest, Zeus probably dosen't like the idea of bringing a titan out of Tartarus).

Or maybe Apollo's planing a revolutuon to take his tyrannical father down, who knows.

Sorry if this is a bit messy, I normally don't write analasys/observations but I wanted to get this of my chest (also English is my 2nd language so sorry for all the mistakes)

[currantlee]

A few comments on a recent post about RWBY I made got me thinking about something. Basically, I think that Rooster Teeth – and possibly by extension its parent companies – have artificially inflated RWBY as a media project and franchise rather than letting it grow organically. Therefore, it became a bubble that was bound to burst at some point. RWBY might never have been a profitable IP, which might be very relevant for its future.

This is not a problem that arose after Monty Oum‘s passing, I feel like this was already coming before that. Shane Newville‘s open letter (which absolutely comes from an emotional, mentally unwell state of mind, but has had many of its contents confirmed over the years, even beyond being one of the first descriptions of the toxic work environment at Rooster Teeth) makes a few points that support this impression. Whether you agree with the letter or not, you cannot deny that the first two volumes of RWBY, while they also had merch accompanying them and stuff, were not produced following industry standards – starting with the 3D software used, Poser Pro (Monty Oum‘s preferred tool for animation). This led to some really creative animation work that, while not always high-quality by industry-standards, was certainly pushing boundaries. It was creative and it worked for what RWBY was: a passion project created by someone who saw animation as his strongest suit – as his preferred medium to tell a story. I‘ve seen a lot of people claim that Monty Oum wasn‘t a writer, and while that‘s true, I feel like the implication of that statement is always that he couldn‘t tell stories on his own. I don‘t think that‘s true. I think Monty Oum was a great storyteller when it came to expressing certain things through animated action scenes. It‘s just that he wanted to tell a story that included more than just that and a few lines of dialogue – which is where Miles Luna and Kerry Shawcross come in, two at the time very inexperienced writers (who possibly had a fallout with Monty Oum over creative differences later), as well as some talented folks – people like Shane Newville. They were chosen to work on this because Monty Oum acknowledged their potential and liked to work with them, and I feel like that created an environment where they were really allowed to flourish. Volumes 1 and 2 are certainly not flawless, but I feel like I can tell the people making it had fun.

To Rooster Teeth however? I think RWBY (and by extension, Monty Oum as a creator) might have been little more than assets to them. RWBY was first created around a time when RT first tried to be more like, well, an actual company. At least from 2014 onward, but possibly even earlier than that, this included an effort to conform to industry standards more, mostly in order to be able to hire more people – very visibly so in RWBY in the form of the switch to Maya (my opinion about that is, the way they did it didn’t do RWBY any favors at all). I think they saw RWBY and Monty Oum as an opportunity to appear… More important, bigger, than they ever really were.

So what did they do? Again, I kind of have the feeling that they “upscaled” RWBY to a size where it appears like this big thing, but it became far too much to handle. Essentially, they created a mock giant, or a metaphorical quasi-star: something that can appear big from afar, but is actually very small / unstable (and if we go with the quasi-star metaphor, disturbs all of its surroundings). This is what I mean when I say that RWBY was a bubble bound to burst, because no star lives forever – and quasi-stars can only exist under very specific, very unstable conditions (I linked a Kurzgesagt-video in case you’re interested what exactly a quasi-star / black hole star is / was, cosmology is so fascinating IMO). Once these conditions exist no longer, they both fall apart and collapse into the black hole that is their core at the same time.

My main argument for this is that RWBY was essentially a huge money sink for RT (Source: Barbara Dunkelman’s unprofessionalism). They pumped so much money into this… Perhaps even more than they ever made from it. While this isn’t 100% confirmed, it is very much possible (and IMO not exactly unlikely) that RWBY was never profitable — which it might have been if RT hadn’t been so hellbent on creating the illusion of a multi-million-dollar franchise.

This is purely speculative, but this might also be why Volume 10 was never greenlit. We know that Volume 9 was to a significant part funded by Crunchyroll and in fact would not have been possible without them (probably because RT was already out of money at this point). They might have bought into this mock giant, then realized they had pretty much been scammed once Volume 9 aired. This might have led to Crunchyroll’s unwillingness to fund another season for something they knew now was effectively a money sink. Since RT at this point lacked the funds to produce Volume 10 alone and therefore was dependent on investors like Crunchyroll and Warner Brothers… Volume 10 was never greenlit, no matter how hard they attempted to get their fans’ hopes up and start a hashtag campaign on social media (as far as I remember, that was started by Rooster Teeth, not the fans. I don’t have my Twitter account anymore though, so I can’t check). Again though, this is speculation.

The worst part? This refusal of RT to just… Downscale RWBY again, this determination that it had to be this huge franchise… Was all put on the backs of the creatives working on it. We know at this point, from multiple sources, that RWBY and other RT productions have had an incredible amount of crunchtime, working overtime, employee abuse, … going on behind the scenes, which seems to only have gotten worse after Monty Oum’s passing. At the end of the day, all RT does and has ever done is blame others for their incompetence. Like, no shit, I’ve seen fans claim that it’s the FNDM’s job to “keep the show alive” (particularly in the light of #GreenlightVolume10), which… No, that’s not the fans’ job. It’s the job of the company who has been entrusted with this beloved IP, and said company has proven to be utterly incompetent on multiple occasions, which is unfortunate, but a sad reality for all those who love RWBY. And while Rooster Teeth has never directly said such a thing, they have certainly implied it and taken advantage of the existing sentiment within their fanbase, as well as their parasocial relationship with it (again, see #GreenlightVolume10 for reference).

To clarify, I’m not saying none of this would have happened if RT didn’t insist on making RWBY this big franchise (and biting off far more than they could chew in the process) – again, RT was far too notoriously incompetent at everything a company should manage – but I do think it might have played a role. It also isn’t an excuse for all the employee abuse. Again, what they should have done is downsizing the project, not inflating it further and further.

If I’m not somehow completely in the wrong (because IMO this just makes way too much sense to not be at least partially true – but let’s face it, a lot of this is just me connecting dots, and there is always a chance I’m connecting them wrong, even though I don‘t think so), then it kinda blows my mind that there are still people who believe in this scam. Though I will say, emotional attachment can do that to anyone. If anything, I’m honestly sorry that those folks lose something that means so much to them, and that false promises were made to them.

At the end of the day, the story of RWBY (the “franchise”) is twofold. It’s a story about an incredibly talented creator who passed away far too early, who was given the incredible opportunity to make his dream come true. It’s a story of people he trusted taking up his torch, and maybe getting lost in the dark along the way. It’s an inspiring story regardless, and I hope to see it continued at a downsized scale so it can grow organically, preferably in the hands of an indie animation studio like Dillon Goo (🤞)

But it is also a cautionary tale to both creatives and companies who employ them, a tale about false promises, abuse of both employees and fans, as well as how to not run a project. Don’t blow your thing out of proportion too early, don’t create a mock giant / metaphorical quasi-star. Let your ideas and projects grow and flourish organically and sincerely.