#but this is a nice way for me to kinda stop worrying abt how much I hate my art style and just have some fun I obviously still worry but

[diagonal-queen]

sorry for coming again but i’m the one that asked you abt the dazai ranpo and chuuya make s/o one! if writing abt a male s/o is difficult you can do gn reader who wears tang tops if that’s alright!!

hi again! no need to apologise- i love having folks in my inbox! i got a little worried when i saw the male reader lol. i'm so sorry my love but unfortunately i don't write male readers simply because i do not know what it is like to be a boy/masc-aligned. i would hate to write something that makes male readers uncomfortable or dysphoric.

Reader who sleeps with a tank top

♡ pairings: Dazai Osamu, Ranpo Edogawa, Chuuya Nakahara x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: How do these boys react to reader who sleeps in a tank top?

♡ cw: Fluff with a bit of suggestive (damnit Dazai), ~intimate touching~

note: Never had one of these types of requests before so I was excited to start writing this one! Apologies for errors, hope you enjoy x

Dazai:

Dazai is highkey a pervert. He's the kinda guy to sneakily grope his partners in public and is generally pretty handsy. This doesn't stop in the bedroom! In fact it ramps up by a billion

He was veeeery excited to learn that you shed most of your clothes when you sleep.

He claims that he can't sleep unless he's cuddling you, which itself is kinda sweet, but in Dazai's head cuddling just means fondling lmao

If you have boobs he's ABSOLUTELY copping a feel. If you don't have boobs he's still copping a feel. It really doesn't matter what gender you are or how large your chest is he is obsessed and always holding it tbh

Even if it's super cold he'll insist that there is just no need for you to wear any more because he'll keep you warm! Subtle 👍

Nah he's not gonna stop you if you do decide to put on a long-sleeve shirt or something, but his hands are still gonna find their way under the shirt. Man just needs his physical contact and that's okay!

He WILL use this opportunity to kiss your neck/shoulders and give you hickeys. I mean it's RIGHT there

He probably uses this method to try and instigate sex with you (whether or not it works is entirely up to you. If it were me though-)

Ranpo:

Ranpo likes clinging to your arms, skin-to-skin contact, and just generally clambering on top of you and holding you like a koala. Safe to say, he's very happy about your choice of jammies

When he first slept in the same bed as you and you wore a tank top he probably didn't even notice. The most important thing in his brain was 'must cling to Y/N', which he did!

But it felt nice having another person to cuddle with :) especially because it wouldn't get too hot when you did cuddle, as opposed to if you were wearing like flannel pyjamas or something

Ranpo honestly doesn't really care too much about what you wear when you sleep (he is going to hug you either way) but he's not complaining.

Ranpo probably doesn't wear many clothes to sleep either (autistic things <3) so he doesn't really see it as a sexual thing as much as Dazai does. In his head nobody really wears thick pyjamas to sleep so to him it's totally normal

He likes to nuzzle his head into the crook of your neck and inhale your scent, because he finds it comforting.

Also probably nibbles/bites your neck lol

Would he start wearing a tank top as well? ...maybe

Chuuya:

Chuuya isn't a pervert like Dazai (at least not as blatantly, anyway). But he's not at all gonna object to you wearing a tank top because it highlights your chest and torso and that is his favourite place to put his hands when y'all sleep

He's one of those guys who puts his hands under your top and like rubs your stomach/hips (in a comforting way ofc)

The first time he slept with you he was probably a little red faced at the amount of exposed skin, but he eventually got used to it and now he loves it

Chuuya is certainly a cuddler but if it were summer and you were dressed in a tank top he might not touch you as much because he'd understand that you might get a bit too warm.

Chuuya is so polite- he always asks if you're alright with him holding you, and doesn't really let his hands wander too much

Chuuya is not a man who has received very much physical affection, like ever. Like Ranpo he probably really cherishes the fact that you're comfortable and willing to let him be close to you

Traces little patterns on your shoulders :')

Always compliments you on how soft your skin is and how nice it feels to caress. If you have freckles on your arms/shoulders he thinks they're adorable too <3

btw i'm cool with writing suggestive stuff like this- just not like EXPLICIT smut. not only do i feel awkward writing it but i'm also just so bad at it lmao. ya girl loves a bit of sensual cuddling/making out every now and then

[fionaheartswomen]

“You’re beautiful just the way you are”

Summary: Y/N struggles with body dysmorphia, and as her and mattstart getting ready to have sex for the first time, she freaks and things he won’t like the way she looks

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Sex, Body Dysmorphia, Crying, Angsty, , Locals DNI or do i dont rlly care

AN: This is my first smut so pls lmk wht you think. also this is js kinda what my body dysmorphia is like when it comes to sexual interactions sorry if this isn’t relatable for you 

Y/Ns POV

I was excited to have sex with Matt for the first time, we’d been dating for 6 months and I wanted this moment to be special for both of us

Things were getting heated, as I was sitting on Matt’s lap, as we harshly made out, full of clashing teeth, lip biting, etc.

Matt pushes me down onto my back, as he lifts up my shirt, abt to see my body, my mind immediately starts to overthink and I keep telling myself he’s going to hate how I look

I immediately pull my shirt down, pushing Matt off of me, and sliding down from the bed to the floor, tears welling up into my eyes

“Baby.” Matt says joining me onto the floor “Are you ok, did I hurt you?” He questions, worried as if he did something wrong.

“No.” I say “It’s just I-I hate my body, and I feel like you’ll s-see me how I see myself. I try to say out of chocked sobs

“Hey, love, look at me” Matt says bringing me to face him, wiping the tears falling down my face

“You’re beautiful just the way you are, and I love you. I don’t give a fuck what your body looks like” Matt says

“Promise?” I ask

“I promise, beautiful” Matt says, before grabbing my jaw and placing his lips of mine

“Now, can we still have sex are do you want to stop?” Matt asks

“Yes of course we can” I say before sitting back on the bed before Matt pushes me onto my back, sitting on top of me.

He kisses my lips, softly, before it turns into another rough makeout.

“Feel how hard you make me” Matt whispers into my ear

Matt places his full-hard cock onto my thigh so I could feel how hard he was

Matt takes mine and his shirt off kissing all over my stomach

“God” Matt groans “You’re so beautiful.” He says before placing himself in between my thighs

“Can I take off your shorts and panties, beautiful?” He ask “Yes, please.

Matt wasted no time before he was taking off my shorts and panties, diving straight into my pussy. I moan as his tongue flicks my clit. My hands flying immediately to his hair grabbing it from the pleasure.

Matt, still sucking my clit decides to add three fingers into me. I moan loudly, not expecting it, but liking it bc it felt so good.

“Does it feel good baby?” Matt says. I just whimper hoping he took that has a yes. In which he did

“Matt-FUCK im going to cum” I moan out.

“Go ahead cum for me pretty girl.” Matt says taking his left arm with all the tattoos on it, to toy with my nipples making me moan.

I cum all over Matt’s face moaning loudly.

“God you taste so good” Matt groans

“Are you ready for me to fuck you?”Matt says “Yes please” I practically moan out

Matt laughs before removing all his clothes off. Matt goes to grab a condom from the drawer before I stop him

“You can cum inside me, im on the pill” I say. Matt just laughs before saying “Ok, love” Matt saying spitting into his hand, to lube himself up before he is back hovering above me, before shoving all 9 inches inside me.

I moan loudly, because he’s making me feel so full. “Tell me when to move, love.” Matt says

After a couple of seconds, I moan “You can move.”

Thats all Matt needed to hear before he was thrusting in and out of me, groaning into my ear, as I moan loudly.

“Baby you feel so good. I love you so much and your perfect body.” Matt groans out

“I love you too” I moan out. Before pulling Matt down for a hot makeout as he still thrust in and out of me.

The pleasure was so nice, and I was so surprised we hadn’t done this sooner.

After a few more minutes of Matt thrusting in and out of me I felt myself about to cum for the second time tonight.

“Fuck, I’m going to cum” I say clenching around Matt “ Me too. Go ahead. Cum for me, love” Matt groans

After a couple of seconds I’m cuming all over Matt’s cock.

A few more thrusts and Matt’s cuming inside me plopping next to me.

“That was amazing” I breath out coming down from my high.

“It really was.” Matt says

“ YN i just want you to know I love you so much, and I could careless what your body looks like.” Matt says

“Thank you baby, I love you too.” I say.

Matt puts my head on his chest before breathing out “I really do. I love you so much” Matt says

“ I know” I whisper before pecking his lips, and laying my head back onto his chest before I both fall asleep, in his arms

“How did I get so lucky” Matt says before falling asleep right after me

A/N: pls tell me if this was good bc I feel like this is terrible.

#matt sturniolo #chrissturniolo #nicolassturniolo #mattsturniolosmut #ynsmut

@daddyslilchickenfingers @sturnphilia @strniohoeee

[thatdeadaquarius]

hi! quick tip: if you’re on mobile type ‘:readmore:’ then hit enter! i dunno if you’ve been told but. yeah :)

also, your recent piece on apd was incredible!! very nice to see representation!! keep up the excellent work <3 it did get me thinking though: reader with vocal stims, cementing it in the acolytes’ minds that you don’t speak the language of teyvat, and then you’re all just stuck in this loop of “oh man they don’t speak the same language of me” but they DO

if asks are closed or this is outside of your comfort zone then feel free to delete! have a lovely day <3

AHFJLAKLOSUDBABWB U FELT REPRESENTED YAY!!

A cookie for thee, and also extra for telling me how to do Expand thingy on mobile ilysm 🤲🍩🍪✨️ (pspspsps all askers,, u get cookies,,cometothedarksidepspspspspsss)

I was so worried bc it wasnt like super all the aspects of Apd issues, and it was very based on my personal experience w/ similar symptoms + other bits of ppl's experience so i was hoping it still felt somewhat recognizable for ppl w/APD!! Tysm for the feedback :D

NOTE ABOUT VOCAL STIM DEPICTED:

So i think ive experienced verbal stims, so this is a combination of others shared experiences + personal experience, and while everybody experiences things individually/their own way, please let me know if there is something obviously inaccurate/maybe even offensive.

You will definitely not make me mad or otherwise offended, I really want to hear that kind of feedback from others who vocal stim!

Thank you so much for reading! :)

___________________♡_____________________

So lets just say that ur vocal stims r pretty non-verbal or non-sensical ("her sister was a WITCH BRO-" like memes that dont make sense to them)

Or like, u have verbal stims that r actual language but they dont hang around long enough to hear it maybe ??

♤

So like, this ends up happening

Chongyun was exploring near Qingce village for supernatural stuff as usual

And U were just vibin, chillin near Qingce village livin ur best Creator god cottagecore life

And ur like planting a new seedbed, Jueyun Chilis :) (bc jfc however bad it was to collect them in game, its 10x worse in person, ur tired of running around town getting chilis, Qingce isnt exactly flat 💀)

♡

And every seed u put in the dirt ur like "boop!"

And Chongyun comes by, bc u at edge of town, and the villagers mentioned a strange new traveler settling here

He immediately feels a wave of that same feeling he used to feel when the Creator god had their eyes on him, or would assist him in battles

So poor boy almost overheats trying to climb up the hill to ur house

And is like "??...Creator??"

Then kinda stops bc ur just like-

"Boop!" "Boop!" "Boop!" ☺️ LMAO

And then u finish planting seeds, get the watering can,,

And everytime u pour it just-

... "EJACK! Come, water!"

(Ur saying it so fast too, and he's still somewhat farther away, so he cant rlly hear that well too)

...

..

And its just so incomprehensible to Chongyun he's deadass like "A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE??!"

So of course,

He waves, 👋

And ur like omg icy boy!! :D 🧊💙

But u dont say anything yet, and then he starts,, miming?? He points at u? Then like?? Points up? The sky?? Then like, mimes swinging his claymore???

(ARE U THE CREATOR??!!)

U look up, very confused 🧐

He seemes frustrated.

Then he just kinda, bows and leaves?

...

...oh no.

Do Teyvat people speak that crazy language that u saw in game?

Instead of English??

Well.

Shit.

...

.... U havent rlly talked to anyone in Qingce yet since u just got here in Teyvat like a week ago

And found this abandoned house

♧

It just gets worse 😭

Bc slowly, one by one,

Each playable character in Liyue comes to attempt to talk to you

(And since u have a farm, and they keep giving u food/goods? For some reason?? U still dont need to go into town)

☆

At one point, even Zhongli shows up

And thru complex miming and hand motions u think he means dont worry abt him? Like just go back to what u were doing?? Okay??

U guess he's just gonna chill here for now?

...

...Zhongli just kinda,, squints, and puts his hand on his chin in his classic "thinking very hard" face

So ur tending to the garden saying,

" FREDDY! You're supposed to be on lockdown!Vanessa...I'm... a Material Gworl✨️"💀

...Just, on an endless loop LMAO-

...

(Hes trying to see if he recognizes any part of ur language, poor old man 🤔🤔😭)

♤

And it just snowballs even more, and now,

None of you have even tried to say a word to each other. 🤡

(Other than ur vocal stims)

...

Keqing: "Perhaps, it's similar to Fontaine's native language?"

You, in the background: "🎵 dUdE,,, sHe'S jUsT nOt InTo YoU 🎵" (mimicking the autotune and everything)

Ganyu & Keqing: "..."

You: " 🎵 gOtTa MoVe On, mOvE oN-🎵 Hurricane Katrina?? More like Hurricane Tortilla!"

Ganyu & Keqing: "...Can't be,"

"what else do we got? Should we call Yunjin to better mime for us??"

♡

Xiao's the first one to even get close to knowing u can actually talk to each other, bc he's always checking in on u most often <3

And he only heard u bc u swore u heard a monster outside ur house one night and came out ur house with a pitchfork, very nervous,

"...Hey there demons.. it's me.. ya boy."

(And u just keep stimming that out of nervousness to make urself feel better as u check around ur house lol)

Xiao: "??? Demons???!! WAIT-"

♧

By then, it literally took like 6 months for yall to finally have a real conversation 💀💀

...

(Chongyun got so embarassed bc he was one of the first few to misunderstand he overheated rip🙏)

Im. So. Sorry. This. Is. ✨️Ass✨️

Twas the best scenario i could come up with, im telling yall, im not as funny as the ppl who send in these asks 😔

Keep in mind, I never claimed i was funny or a good writer, u cant hold it against me lol /lh

Lower ur expectations LMAO

Well i hope u got sm enjoyment outta this anon, sorry abt the quality!! :)

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

[oh-katsuki]

sorry if uve answered this before but !! Virgin deku this virgin deku that......wut abt virgin gf being with deku for the first time bc i imagine he has this husky soft but muscly body n he's so tender with u........asking what's ok but also just like so into being the best experience for u that he can be even if it's just rubbing ur clit for hours n whispering praise into ur neck don't @ me 😔😔🫡🫡👉👈

SHUT YOUR HOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im imagining like... long time friends. you've known him since middle school and somehow, in adulthood after izuku became the pro-hero deku and you became one of the many citizens he protects, you ended up dating. and it's not awkward. it feels right to be with him this way, but you're worried that... well, he'll think you don't have enough experience.

but CHRIST. the way he takes his time. the way he lets you go nice and slow, talks you through everything he's doing and wants to do. treats your body like it's a temple. works you open on his fingers first, just to make sure you're ready. plays with your clit to loosen you up. n you're so embarrassed, but he makes that embarrassment feel natural. JEEEESUS.

just the... the way i think he'd talk you through it. tell you exactly how he's going to touch you, that it may hurt a bit and to tell him to stop if it's too much, tell you that you can dig your nails into his broad shoulder blades if it helps. n he kinda gets off on being gentle with you like that. twitches when you tell him it's okay to go faster.

n i think after, he takes a shower w u. i think he helps you clean up with big, gentle hands. kisses your forehead and holds you under the warm water for a bit. deku knows how overwhelming your first time can feel and he wants to make sure that what sticks out the most for you is how good sex can feel.. when it's with him, of course.

[jennilah]

I think i started to follow you bc of tiny!cas, like eons ago, let me tell you seeing you get into different fandoms over the years has been a delight.

I remember seeing post of you going like 'hey these slasher film kinda go hard' and look at you know.

I mean this in the best way possible, I feel i've been watching a house plant grow, every now and then catching my attention and being amazed by the changes

omg thats such a sweet way of describing my... well happy autism awareness day everyone, its a nice way of describing the way i naturally transition through my Special Interests lmfao

actually, for the holiday, let me infodump about this very aspect of my brain to anyone who isnt aware how this works for me. (also every autistic person is different, so this is just how this symptom manifests in me)

ill say "phases" to simplify, though thats an unfair word because it implies im "over" my past phases. 99% of my past phases are pretty much there for life, but in the back of my mind. (So long as I didnt have a "bad breakup" with it for some reason, which is rare but happens) The ability to become a raving lunatic about it is dormant until someone asks the right question.

There can only be one interest (sometimes 2, with one being the less dominant one) at the forefront of my brain at a time, though. that defines the "phase".

so for example, my recent Halloween phase is "over" and I am 100% fully into Saw now, but I still absolutely love Halloween and Michael and Jason and all those guys. as evident by me still happily sharing gifsets and art and buying merch etc if it tickles my fancy. They're just hanging out in the background of my mental display case.

yea whoever follows my tumblr for a very long time has watched it happen in realtime. the transition between interests. i know for a fact which phase I started this blog on. if you're here from the beginning, youve seen, in order:

-Durarara!! -Deus Ex -Supernatural -Godzilla -Detroit: Become Human -There was like a few weeks where it was HLVRAI -And then it was plants. There was a year-long stretch with no Special Interest and I was latching onto odd things (and I was very inactive here) -Halloween & Friday the 13th -and now, Saw

I have many other things I love, but they don't clamp around my brain in quite the same extreme way.

my phases can last any amount of time, anywhere from a few short intense months to 5+ years, its completely random, completely unpredictable. even the interest itself is impossible to predict. its not something i choose, its something that happens to me.

sometimes i avoid watching things for a long time because im still very emotionally attached to my current phase and im genuinely afraid the shiny new thing will replace it. all art or fic ideas for the previous phase? theyll be abandoned. all I will want to create will be related to the new thing. (though I will sometimes draw it anyway, like digging up old toys to play with once in a while. The likelihood just drops considerably)

which is why right now i pretty much put a pause on the other franchises I plan on watching. I'm genuinely gripping onto Saw like someone is tryin to take it from me.

and then sometimes im like "haha yeah right. ill be fine. ill eat my shoe if my brain latches to this" and then put on the movie and by the credits roll im a new person (yes thats what happened with Saw. I really had no idea.)

this is also why im terrified of even just "checking out" things that have, like, a toxic fanbase or something, because i cant stop a new phase from happening if it does. and its really hard to keep it to myself, fuck

(do u know how mad i was when i realized i was attaching to hoffman the evil dirty cop??? i was so scared of drawing him, dudes. but thankfully everyones been cool abt it and we're all very aware of his awfulness & we have fun w it)

and every time my brain changes and i do get obsessed with some new thing, i get really scared and worried and hope I dont bother everyone who followed me for something else :(((( and yet, every time, im absolutely floored by how many people choose to tolerate my newest nonsense and stick around anyway

anyway ive lost the plot of what point i was making here OH YEAH thank you!

tl;dr: that would be the autism! thank you, it WILL happen again! that is a threat! 🥰

[michu-writes]

🐉 K, so...... I never played Omori, but I wanna give you something to write, so how about just general dating headcanons with Hero and Kel? You can do them separately or as a poly ship, either way, is fine. Hope that satisfies you and you'll have fun writing this. Love you! <3

A/N: I KNOW YOU HAVENT PLAYED OMORI AND HAVE LITTLE TO NO KNOWLEDGE ABT IT BUT THIS MADE ME CACKLE

Kel and Hero are brothers so- no poly headcanons ofc BUT SEPERATELY I WILL DO!!! Thank you for requesting dear anon <3

Hero

Malewife? Manwhore? You're lucky to have him as a boyfriend. He's one of the (only) most respectful cis men out there, no joke /j.

He'll shower you with kisses and bring food to your bed !!!!! Hero loves cuddling with you too after a long day of studying just to clear his mind. You both would also cook or bake something together!!! Doesn't matter if you're good or bad at it, because you'll always succeed as long as Herj is with you el oh el.

You guys met in Faraway town a few weeks before he was gonna leave for college at the park. You noticed he looked lonely and uneasy in a way, so you decided to talk to him. He stated he just needed some fresh air and so did you!! You guys eventually became friends and found out you were both gonna attend in the same college, so that is great!

Unfortunately, you guys didn't end up in the same dorm but you both still visited each other at anytime you could!! You still saw each other all around the campus but still yeyeyeye. Anyways he had a little hard time opening up to you,,, but he did tell you about Mari eventually. You felt really bad and awful for him, that must be a really really hard thing to go through at such a young age. You told him everything was gonna be fine and she's in a much better place now. After that you both pretty much got closer and the story goes on!!!

After like a year or two of being buds to good buds to best buds, you finally confessed and he surprisingly felt the same way!! Kel and his dad pretty much knew the whole time, but his mom kept denying it and saying "they're just best friends……."

But when you and Hero came back home from college, he asked if you wanted to meet his family face to face (because you have only been able to video chat with them whenever you were hanging out with Hero in your dorms) and you gladly said yeah. Everyone welcomed you as family and was happy for both of you. Kel May or may not have been like "Ew romance" but that's just how he is. His mom though was like "Oh!" and just needed a moment to process because she never thought Hero would get a s/o anytime soon. But she greeted you and was very nice so no worries!!!

One time you were visiting Hero and you both had to babysit Sally because everyone else was away. He was just done making lunch and was about to tell you until he saw you on the couch. He couldn't help but shed a tear of how cute and gentle you were with Sally, he instantly knew you'd be an awesome parent if you wanted to!!!

You were a bit worried about why he was crying but he quickly said you were just adorable when you were all cuddled up with his little sister. Sally was all fast asleep beside you while you snuggled her up close to your chest as you were watching TV with a blanket.

10/10 boyfriend, would recommend.

Kel

This kinda depends of how much energy you got because if you're like leaning more into the calm and relaxed type, you'll just watch him being a complete idiot in awe. He likes it because he knows your don't mind his chaotic nature (most of the time). But if you match his energy, oh god. Everything will go down hill. You'll both at least commit 5 crimes in a day. It might be really fun, but you both need someone to stop you. Like Hero perhaps.

You have known each other for a long time ever since the whole gang even formed. You both were best friends and was the only people who didn't close off which you both can agree were greatful for. You would invite him to do something to keep his mind off of things for a bit after Mari's death, and all the stress and worries about Hero. It helped and he just couldn't stop thanking you. His parents adores you for trying your best. Kel also helps you too in many different ways, you guys have each other.

When Sunny finally left his house to hangout with Kel before he moved away, they both invited you to tag along, in which you gladly agreed on. Sunny noticed the tension between you two and pointed it out. Let's just say you were both a red burning mess after that.

Sunny was kinda the one who egged Kel on to confess to confess to you because of the obvious crush, so thanks to him.

Kel usually asks Hero for relationship advices. He would also ask his dad, but they're always so long and dumb in his opinion.

He !!! Loves !!!!! Going out !!!!!! On dates !!!!!! You guys can also stay inside. His favorite dates are maybe going on a stroll at night or a movie night. During the strolls, you guys just just look at the night sky and admire the stars and moon while holding hands and rant about your favorite things ! During the movie nights, you just lay on the sofa with snacks in the table, a blanket covering the two who was all cuddled up, probably watching some horror or action movie.

Kel loves to creep up on you and scare you when you're not looking, he finds your reaction hilarious.

Will always hold your hand or have his arm around your shoulders. He'll also give you random hugs and kisses anywhere at all (unless you don't like pda which is totally fine). He's so sweet and goofy.

[estbela]

your post abt robul marriage is everything <3 tbh the whole 'marriage proposal' is so interesting to me bc if you look back at the middle ages, Bul with his empires was always the stronger and more successful of the two and Ro probably admired him quite a bit. then fast forward to the 19th century and you have the same guy sending sappy proposals to Ro and going plsplspls marry me!! they <33 (i love your vision for robul pls don't stop talking abt them)

THIS ASK IS EVERYTHING TO ME ANON!!!! Oh god youre so nice!!!!

tbh I didn't think it was that good cause I wrote it at night instead of sleeping while really exhausted and constantly fact checking myself with wikipedia (and I very much suck at alternate history) but thank you!!!!

Exactly!!!! That's one of the things that gets me about robul. Like the different dynamics they've had over the years is so fascinating to think about and you put it perfectly!!! YEAH I do think Ro admired him, but tbh he probably never really told him that, at least not then. I actually think they fell in love during the middle ages, but they were pretty young and things were complicated so they didn't really act on it back then. Also it's important to me that Bul fell first, and Ro fell harder.

And like, they're not really equals, altho I do think that Bul values Ro a lot, as part of his empire and after Ro sort of becomes his own country as Wallachia, as a trusted ally and advisor in a way. While Ro, I don't think he cares that much about stiff like that, the fact that Bul is the more succesful one does bother him in a way? Cause at that point he was already used to empires wanting to control him, his people and his lands, so this caused him to be wary of Bul at first and reluctant to befriend him when they met around the time of the first bulgarian empire but Bul cosntantly seeks him out to be his friend and treats him like an equal when he can.

And then after the fall of the second bulgarian empire it gets interesting, cause now Ro is the one that is stronger, and has managed to not become part of the Ottoman Empire (well, he is a vassal, but in a far better position than Bul) and their dynamic changes!!! I haven't really made up my mind about them during that time exactly, but I do know that sometime during the period they were both part of the Ottoman Empire, more or less, they started dating.

And like. Then in the 19th century they're very different people than who they were as children in the middle ages, and their relationship has changed too, yet also remained almost the same in a way. This time thought, Ro is the one that's kinda stronger and achieved independence first and tbh I wonder if Bul would be insecure about that. And yeah he loves Ro so much!!!! Tbh it kinda scares Ro how much bul loves him, how much he's always loved him. But in a way, their relationship is better and worse bcs of this? Now that theyre kinda equals, he doesn't worry about Bul being like other empires lol, cause he's not an empire anymoreo obvs. While Bul worries about not being enough for Ro, so he probably overdoes it a bit in his proposals and romantic gestures towards Ro. They have their issues obviously but GOD they can be so sweet despite that!!!!

Don't worry I won't ever stop talking about them if I can help it!!! I also plan to write stuff in my hetaverse with them (tho I mostly use Nyo Ro in my hetaverse, their dynamic is basically the same and all HCs I have for Ro also apply to her etc etc)!!! :D

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

jjk. chapter 255 spoilers under the cut !!

WWAUUUGHHHHHHHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 ONE OF MY FAVORITE SHINJUKU CHAPTERS FOR SUREEEE I CRIED I SOBBED I THREW UP MULTIPLE TIMES THIS IS SO UP MY ALLEY I CAN’T EVEN DESCRIBE IT????????? I DON’T HAVE THE WORDS????????

okay i’m gonna TRY to be coherent . gonna try to behave. but i LOVED this chapter so much it gave me so much i’ve been wanting from this manga for so long…. hhhh…………… :((((

FIRST OF ALLLLLL:

LARUEEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭 HE’S HEREEEEE HE’S HOME…… MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT CANONICALLY QUEER SIDE CHARACTER……. the narrator referring to the two of them as ”team geto” made me SOB but more on that later i’m just. so happy to see him??? one of my favorite side characters???? i never thought he’d get more screentime?????

and that goes for miguel too!!! i adore them BOTH and they looked so pretty this chapter …. T_T hhhhh

miguel is so handsome ….. just one chance plspls king :’3 i’m hoping more screentime will get him more fics…… maybe specifically x reader fics…….. just a thought……….. (yes i have a miguel/reader drabble in wips no i don’t know when i’ll get to writing it 💔) and larue my gay bestie he rlly is so pretty!!!!!! hhhhh i missed them sm :(((((

ALSOOOO absolutely loved their interactions w yuuta in the beginning….. all the lil moments. larue calling miguel hun….. miguel having beef w gojo and wanting to see him beg for his help….. yuuta offering to beg instead and miguel getting freaked out 😭 THEY’RE SOOO FUNNY

I <333333 THEMMMM

and and and ….. while we’re on the topic of gojo………… THE CRUMBSSSSS THIS CHAPTER GOD HE’S SO PRETTY :(((( RETURN OF THE CIRCLE FRAMES!!!!!

he’s so cute …. andddd while we’re talking abt this interaction!!! i loved loved loved that miguel got the chance to lecture gojo on his racism. and so blatantly too !!!!!! it feels so refreshing to have a shounen manga where casual racism is acknowledged and not just treated as a gag…. and gojo apologized (albeit a lil casually but i do think it was genuine. that’s just kinda how gojo talks </3)

SPEAKKKKK YOUR TRUTH KING ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ LET HIM HAVE IT ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ personally i think gojo should’ve let his infinity down so miguel could get a couple good smacks in but that’s just me. (miguel looks so good here also!!!)

aaaa and !!! before i get to the Main Dish of this chapter i just wanna say :3 MAKI SWEEEEEEP OUR QUEEN OUR KING OUR LORD AND SAVIOR 🙏🙏🙏🙏 SHE’S BACK AND COOLER THAN EVERRRRRR LOOK AT THAT GRIN

serving cunt since day one ….. where would we even be w/o her……. i AM very worried for my boys and that black flash at the end but :’3 this chapter made me feel hopeful….. it’s nice to see a good ol jumpjutsu kaisen 5v1 battle.

BUTTTTT with that out of the way!!!!! let’s talk about my absolute favorite part of the chapter (and why it’s one of my favorites in shinjuku)….. which is ofc. the talk between miguel and larue. i absolutely unabashedly ADORE geto’s family and i’ve been waiting to see them again for so long!!! to learn more about them, their feelings towards geto, their feelings after his passing…… and i finally got it. and it was just…. so, so good. wow.

like …. this page almost made me cry. genuinely. i adore larue so much and it was so nice to see him again….. he’s definitely my favorite member of geto’s family (excluding geto himself ofc) and clearly the most heartfelt!!! there’s the scene in shibuya where he stops the rest of the family from harming each other because he knows that’s the last thing geto would want, he calls everyone by their first name…. it just feels like he understood geto the most. understood that what geto cared about above all else was his family, not his own plan (hot take maybe?? but i’ll die on that hill).

and goshhhh…… ”we all loved suguru-chan” :((( you don’t UNDERSTAND how emotional i feel rn. i mean we basically already knew this but it just feels so nice to get confirmation on how loved geto was!!! not just by a couple members of his family, but by all of them!!!! i think it’s so telling that even miguel, who acts a bit colder than someone like larue, was willing to help geto and grew to love him. geto is just such a sincere character at his core and i think that’s how he won them all over. but aaaa i’m just :((((( they loved him!!!!! and he loved them just as much!!!!!! i’ve said this before but i NEED a slice of life spinoff manga only featuring geto and his family.,, they mean so much to me.

and i haven’t even MENTIONED larue’s speech????????????? how lovely it is?????? how sick it is????????????? his version of mourning makes me so unbelievably emotional :(((( geto would be so fucking proud of them i can picture him looking up at them from the fiery pits just CHEERING as they punch sukuna…… sniffle sniffle. he loves them!!! and they love him!!!!!!

also obviously i NEED to mention this bc it broke me. i’ve seen people making jokes about what miguel says AND I GET THAT bc i too love joking about how geto is definitely in hell but. this line is very tragic to me!!! or maybe not tragic but it’s definitely somber. i don’t think it’s meant to be humorous, it’s there as a grim reminder of the things geto and his family did…. they loved each other but they were villains. there’s no denying that. larue is obviously a bit of a romanticist but miguel is enough of a realist to call him out on it, and i think that gets his personality across so well. because he still ends up agreeing to join larue in the fight!! those words got to him!!!! seeing his expression crumble in this page made my heart ache :((((… they were villains but they loved each other so earnestly. and i just adore them so so much!!!

okay i think ….. that’s all …….. suchhhh a wonderful chapter. it made me insane!!!!! i love miguel and i love larue and i’m hoping they’ll survive this :((

(….. but . i mean … if they end up dying ……. there’s the slightest chance we’ll get an afterlife scene of geto and his family, so …. um ……. yk …….. 👉👈 maybe . some sacrifices will have to be made……..)

[leeyanyanyaaan]

told my parents abt the new one piece live action thats coming out (bc i introduce anime to my kdrama mom w live action anime adaptations) and we talked abt how its gonna go

obviously im gonna be biased bc one piece is my favorite of all time (+ i dont have high standards considering ive watched a lot of live action anime), but the trailer looked really promising, and even made me smile and laugh so much! especially during snippets where the crews dynamic was shown (much love to iñaki he makes a perfect luffy), so im really looking forward to the release :D

we mainly talked abt how the adaptations story is gonna go, since yknow this is a BIG big series and its impossible to actually recreate the WHOLE thing, so ofc theres likely to be lots of changes.

SO my take is that they stop at the end of east blue arc/the formation of the og 5 crew and conclude it there, nice and short. east blue/baroque works usually seem to be the make it or break it for ppl getting into one piece so theres that too.

BUT!! lets say that the live action was a huge success, in the same way alice in borderlands s1 was, and they decide to continue adapting it. i dont think its likely and even if they do its gonna be a lot of work considering how meticulous the production crew is with detail (eg building the actual sets like going merry and baratie), but lets say they do it; i actually think it could work up until the end of pretimeskip arc!

think about after sabaody arc they got seperated and originally planned to find each other asap, but then luffy announced they meet in two years after the paramount war arc, and then we get a nice monolgue thingy as the two years pass and we see post time skip luffy kinda thing ready to start the grand line journey, i think itd thatd be a nice way to end the live action!

but ofc, i know how much work all of pre time skip would be, so i know its not very realistic, but if they do decide on producing more seasons i dont really see any other point in between that would be a good stopping point, like its either you stay w the og 5 crew or get all of pretimeskip ot9. i know we have the nonhuman charas to worry about and powers and whatnot, but its not like netflix has to adapt the series frame by frame; on the contrary, they really shouldnt bc the comedic novelty just wont work onto live action, and u can see that they consider this by not giving sanji and usopp the curly eyebrows and long nose (buggy looks fine in the trailer imo, his scene actually gave off video game trailer vibes which i liked a lot). i really think it can work if they just toned down the series to make it more down to earth (this could mean cutting down some of luffys moves like gum gum balloon in place of more practical fighting moves, which is most likely going to be the case for zoro and sanji i think) and i guess simplifying the story in general?

anyways, those are just some headcanons of mine AHAHDVSKBS very excited for the one piece live action!!

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

hiiii idk if you’re taking requests, and feel free to ignore me lol, but i’ve been thinking abt Try Your Best (That's All We Can Do) a lot recently. and like reading it is so perfect and i love it. i was wondering if you were going to add to the story at all. ik it is wrapped up nicely, but i kinda wanna know what happens to them (make sure roman can avoid being murdered and heal), but yeah! thanks for all you write!

I really, really like how I ended that fic, so I don’t think I’m going to do another full chapter, but I’ll do a mini-fic epilogue just for you :)

Roman eventually shares with Virgil and Remus—and Janus, by default, because god knows his two lil gremlins don’t want to keep secrets from their dad if they don’t have to—that he’s been going to a therapist since a few months after Jamie committed suicide. He ascribes a lot of his personal growth to talking things through with them, even though they’re determined to get him to accept some credit on his own.

(Remus may or may not hit Roman in the face with a pillow for the same reasons and the two of them may or may not get into the habit of pillow-fighting whenever they see each other. It’s unclear whether or not this is actually a good thing.)

(It is, don’t worry.)

Roman actually plans to meet up with Virgil for a date right after one of his appointments, and Janus drops him off outside the building. While there, the therapist asks Janus if he’s Roman’s father. He isn’t, and says as much, but he starts to worry about how Roman’s managing to afford this if his therapist can’t even recognize his parents. He confronts Roman about it and Roman says that the school’s guidance counselor actually recommended and they worked out something with insurance that his parents never had to personally approve.

There’s another indecent at school where Janus is called in because Remus got into a fight. When he gets there, he sees Roman sitting outside the principal’s office, holding something to his head again, and Remus glowering at the wall. For a terrible second, he has memories of the same thing happening in middle school, only this time Remus has his arm around Roman’s shoulders and Virgil comes running up a second later.

Jamie’s friend had attacked Roman again, and Remus had tried to stop them. Roman had shoved Remus behind him and been rewarded with a textbook across his temple. The administration had found the three boys like that: one bleeding, still holding back another, the third crying and screaming on the floor.

Roman’s parents never make an appearance.

Janus offers to drive Roman home—and maybe not-so secretly give them a piece of his mind—but Roman pales and makes up something about how that would just leave his car in the school parking lot overnight and he’d have to figure out a way to get to school tomorrow. Janus lets it go, mostly so the poor thing doesn’t freak out even more, but he’s oddly quiet for the rest of the night.

He also turns into a total cuddle monster for the rest of the week, but that’s not that big of a surprise.

No, the surprise comes when Virgil gets a call during one of their weekend afternoons and finds out that Roman has to cancel their date tomorrow because he’s in the hospital.

The call doesn’t even end before Janus is barking at both of them to get in the car.

They’re almost not allowed in, because only family is permitted, but then the orderlies reveal that Roman’s actual family hasn’t showed up at all, didn’t answer the emergency call, and Janus just about shoves his way past them to let Virgil run into Roman’s room. The room is filled with machines and loud beeping and a scared child in an oversized hospital bed, and all Janus can think about is the little boy in his father’s suit, all alone in a graveyard.

The doctor comes in. All three of them completely fail to be subtle at eavesdropping as she tells Roman that his attacker has been taken into custody, and that it’s a good thing his family came so quickly.

Virgil barely stifles a gasp, Remus’s eyes go wide, and Janus’s just watches the most heartbreaking confusion cross Roman’s face until he realizes that the doctor is referring to them.

“…yeah,” Roman mumbles, not meeting any of their eyes, “I guess I am.”

The doctor turns to Janus. “Did they tell you what happened?”

“No, not yet.”

“Your son was hit by a car. Luckily it wasn’t going very fast and his injuries aren’t too severe, but he’ll need to rest and heal. Is there somewhere you can—“

“Can you give us a moment, please?”

The doctor looks at Roman, surprised, then back at Janus. Janus just raises his eyebrow—“He’s the patient, it’s not up to me.”—and the doctor leaves.

“If you say anything about being sorry for being an inconvenience or her assuming we’re your family,” Remus says before Roman can say anything, “I’m gonna hit you with a pillow.”

“Remus,” Janus warns.

Roman winces, holding a hand to his side. “Don’t make me laugh, my ribs are cracked.”

“Good thing Re’s not funny, then.”

“Boys.”

Roman does, in fact, try and apologize for everything, but Janus stops him with a hand on his uninjured shoulder.

“You’re hurting,” he says softly, referring to far more than just the car accident, “let us help you, please.”

When the doctor comes back, the first thing they do is change Roman’s emergency contact to Janus.

[zai-doodles]

OK OK this is my last question for real this time, I say with complete confidence

I just… MAN you really sold me on platonic Nalu!!! Would you please give a poor, desperate soul (me) some of your platonic Nalu headcanons? Or even just one is fine, I know writing all of these up must be tiring lol

bestie im literally having a blast stop apologizing im kissing u so platonically ily

ONTO THE NALU HCS

i actually have a bunch of stuff written for them so imma just throw it here

Natsu is so fucking acearo its not even funny They're besties, natsu would protect lucy with his life and lucy would do the same but its platonic i swear guys- Lucy is the first NEW person natsu gets close to after lisanna, bc this boy is so tired of having ppl taken from him without his fucking say so Like idk natsu works so hard to be strong enough to protect his family and then his dad and childhood best friend disappear without a trace when he's not even around to help?? Boy thinks he's cursed I fully believe that Natsu would rarely leave gray and erza's side as kids bc he was worried he close his eyes and they'd just be gone It gets SO much worse after lisanna dies

Idk the actual age when this happens in canon but im saying he was probably like 11 and had known lis since he was like 4 Erza and gray r also really shaken by her death but the thing that really fucks with them is how it changes natsu bc if u thought these 3 were codependent before oh boy All this to say that lucy was like, an exception, and its probably why erza and gray were so quick to be like yes shes great bc they were more just excited and kinda relieved natsu made a fucking friend without them or the guild involved I think his job was taking longer than he wanted, and he was growing really frustrated and impatient with the fact he hadn't found anything abt igneel and happy was trying to cheer him up but in my mind when natsu's bummed he's bummed he meets lucy and she's just so nice But its also that shes also kinda fucking weird and natsu just latches onto that bc to him weird is normal and comfortable and it makes him bounce back and idk it goes kinda similar to how it goes in canon without natsu and happy being weirdly antagonistic and Lucy isnt as put off by how bat shit crazy natsu is bc she just finds it fun and like a breath of fresh air Like lucy grew up in such a suffocating proper environment, so when she meets natsu and his fucking crazyness shes like omg finally my life is so boring Lucy is genuinely looking for excitement and adventure so of course she goes with natsu to join fairy tail And I think it takes natsu aback how ready she is to go with him but i think in his mind because she wasn’t deterred by his “quriks” like most ppl he was immediately like new family fuck yea Bc idk that's just how his mind works bc subconsciously i think natsu knows he is difficult or weird so he's learned to latch onto the people who don't mind that abt him and that's just so happened to,, only be ppl who had to put up with him in fairy tail Not to mention a part of him probably believes it's his fault that igneel left in that kid way where u just feel like everything is ur fault oop Also also i think that lucy literally has no frame of reference for like, a normal healthy friendship, so she kinda just takes natsu's lead and oh boy is that a mistake Like after lucy joins the guild natsu is just CONSTANTLY hanging around her the way he did with erza and gray when they were kids and lucy, again having little to no sense of how friends work, just kinda lets him and gets use to it, she actually really enjoys having that sort of attention bc idk she's never really experienced having someone WANT to be around her just cuz, like the closest thing she had to friends were her servants who were literally obligated to be around her all the time and any “friends” her age she had were forced to hang out with her bc of her family I think Gray and Erza start to worry a bit that if Natsu is too overbearing he’ll end up pushing lucy away bc they're all under the assumption that lucy is a normal person with normal boundaries and a normal childhood So they pull natsu aside like hey bestie maybe don't growl at people when they look at her she might think ur mean and stop wanting to hang out with u Bc they KNOW how natsu is and they dont mind but they're also 2 traumatized orphans who don't have a normal frame of reference for how other ppl work, but unlike natsu they usually air on the side of caution It kinda eats at natsu a bit and he tries to give lucy her space especially if she gets even a little annoyed with him Lucy starts to notice but doesn't say anything bc she just figures he's probably bored with her bc she genuinely believes she's just painfully uninteresting in every way And then she gets kidnapped And natsu loses his fucking mind :D Bc for fuck sake this boy can NOT have a friend without them being taken from him High key it goes like, the same as canon bc i like how that went But the AFTERMATH Oh fucking boy Natsu literally doesn't leave her side This is where, i think, Natsu starts breaking into lucy's apartment lol Its treated as comedic but there's an underlying tension where natsu is just extremely hesitant to leave ever or even let lucy leave And that's when lucy starts to be like aight this cant continue Not in a mean way in just a, idk how to function if i can't be alone ever and it lowkey brings memories of her childhood which is also bad bc natsu isn't her keeper nor should he be And that's not what natsu is TRYING to do he's literally just so scared that if he blinks wrong shell disappear they figure it out tho bc they r friends and UGH i just wanT them to talk and cuddle platonically bc UGH I LOVE THEMMM

[narwhalandchill]

ok misc stream thoughts!!!

ANYWAY livestream over nice 30 pulls of aventurine funds for anni!!!! they didnt do anything insane but honestly it was kinda cope to expect them to, ratio for free was clearly a more of a spontaneous move and hes available throughout anniversary anyway so the "another 5*" were.... a little over the top im sorry wjkjwdjkwdjk altho i wouldnt have complained obviously. a free himeko or sth couldve been on theme for the cosmodussy event but eh cant be helped

im actually glad for the skippability of the reruns 😭😭 like i have luocha n jingliu (+ LC for latter) so by skipping acheron for now im gonna have a nice time getting aventurine and most likely his LC (2/3 of his 4* LC selection is so sad tho), love that fucker hope he gets to do proper mayhem in story too. cool death talk please dont actually die yourself for real for real tho i will be sad. like i do think its based of aventurine to pull off a stunt that appears to be what we in the business might call a certified chapter 5 komaeda moment but. ahahaha nooo dont actually die youre such a funny hat man .

(also sick boss form is sick but . bootleg FL im sorry aventurine. they hit perfection already and theyre never fucking topping the galaxy cape cyclops eye beak mask drip i swear JSWJWJDKWJKDWJK but also yes me biased? in favor of that ginger? i could never)

but it seems ill have a solid time getting aventurine and saving up for now??? since i dont think im too interested in robin or boothill either. i was kinda worried topaz' rerun would be in 2.1 for IPC antics with aventurine bc i am kinda curious abt pulling for her but now its gonna be 2.2 at the earliest so. Phew

the stream ran a bit too long lmao but like overall i tend to like the dev discussions so most of it was still neat, altho downside of dev streams is that not knowing chinese i cant just like. afk and listen on headphones and go get water or something 💀💀 and they were definitely dragging stuff out on purpose no way they werent but eh. people will live its just bideo game livestream. and like these folks do hard work on the game they can yap about what they do sometimes its only right lmao

leakers public shaming session was definitely a jumpscare but i do genuinely empathize w shaoji on that one. like. ive always been one for kit + banner leaks first and foremost and story leaks just. i dont care for them much. ive had my share of looking at them occasionally but i definitely agree with the way story leaks either by themselves or when misconstrued and misinterpreted really fucking mess with the intended experience for any given story and how that must feel like shit for the writers. like if story leaks stopped happening altogether id be perfectly content. and thats just ppl who look at story leaks on purpose cuz. im not going to even begin w how like. yes the leaks subreddits and most big leakers do spoiler warnings and keep the story stuff spoilered. but then theres literally the entire rest of the internet where shit gets spread untagged and without warnings the second they are posted anywhere at all and how that fucking ruins peoples experiences. like its 1 thing to click at a spoiler tagged post knowingly and get ur experience messed up with. but when u dont even want to see it its rly fucking bad and i v well understand condemning all story leaks (even those properly flagged) just on that basis alone. but yeah actually felt bad for him there and see where he was coming from for sure, even as a consumer of leaks

ok well that sure was a wall of text. didnt expect to write that much JWJKWJKDDWJK but ya

Anyway. biggest priority is holding strong w skipping acheron as sick as her animations are but def looking forward to her teaser and the animated short. like . even with the black swan dykery. (that was a fucking jumpscare too). i dont need her rn. despite how cool she is 😭😭

& also have to say im v happy they clarified their stance on hi3rd references like. the way theyre going abt it is absolutely how it should be going. hsr by nature is more directly linked to hi3rd like honkai is in the name but its such a dumbass idea (like some fan takes out there....) to want the stories of hsr depend on another games lore. rewarding old fans with easter eggs and tidbits is perfectly fine and im even interested in seeing where they go with acherons obvious raiden situation - especially knowing theyre not about to ruin their own story with "it was hi3rd all along!" (not that i ever rly thought theyd seriously blunder that bad lmao 💀) . so yea thats neat

i think story wise im not gonna say much of my thoughts bc unfortunately i have clicked on like. a leak or four. not the major stuff i dont think but enough that commenting on stuff w some of the things im aware of in the periphery is going to tint stuff . but im still excited to see where things go!!!

AAND OH. ACTUALLY i do have one more thing . so the multiple POV thing being actually implemented is SOOOO good im so fucking happy theyre committing to it being a thing 😭😭😭 like SO many story pitfalls can be avoided by just letting it be that TB doesnt need to be fucking everywhere a major thing happens as the centerpiece of events so we as players can see it. like it gives a way of showing different events and sides of characters in a much more natural manner its sooo good that theyre implementing it already. like this alone has me in such high hopes for the story going forward. like yea theyve branched from our POV before already and in penacony as well but expanding on it even more is 100% the correct way forward

last thing: god they did jingliu so dirty in her concert illustration. WHAT is she wearing 💀💀💀anyway yeah lesgo 2.1 its cool

i lied real last thing: siobhan . siobhan i would do anything---

[brainrot-stitch]

Thinking of simpler times.. (rant/vent ig)

It's nice just to like

Be able to lay in bed and stare up at the ceiling and hear the crickets outside and no electronic noises. It reminds me of the 2 hurricanes that happened a few yrs back, and like I know it's fucked up to think about because it was horrible, but at the same time it was nice in a way idk how to describe well. It was miserable and hot but I was with family and didn't have to worry or stress about people or grades.. we just kinda existed for a while. I don't want more hurricanes to happen, that would be crazy, but I miss what came after.

Idk I think I've just been getting worked up over a lot of stuff recently and ik other people have it like so so much worse so I don't rlly like to complain abt it, especially in the gc, but nights like these where it's dark and quiet and calm just really get to me I guess. Nights where I can just think about everything and cry before I have to wake up the next day and repeat everything over and over and over. Every day is so bland and numb with sudden spikes of panic mixed in and at the end of the day I barely remember it. I don't remember so so much of my life that I think I should, and I don't know why I just forget. Weather something good or something bad happens I know it will eventually be faded and forgotten just as I will one day.

I'm not really big on being remembered, I've come to accept the fact of mortality and there will be a day where we will each be thought of for the last time and that is when we're truly gone. But for the short amount of time I am remembered, I don't want to be remembered like this. Like who I am and what I do and how I act right now. I don't know what I want to be remembered like, but it's not this.

There's so many issues that seem like the end of the world, that feel inescapable, and I know they're not. I feel like I'm either just being dramatic or gaslighting myself into believing they're bigger issues than they already are. Anything could send me into a spiral that night, from the smallest issue to the biggest one. Even if not, they still have an effect on my day to day life and I don't know how to fix it. And other people are always either confused or upset but they don't understand, and I don't know how to help them understand.

It's hard to care about my grades when there is literally no point and all I do is rot all day. Even if I did care I'm not smart enough to get a college tuition, and we definitely can't pay for it ourselves. They say it's gonna leave a permanent mark that people will see on my resume, but there is a good likelihood I won't make it past adulthood with the way things are going, so why should that matter. Plus it's so so hard to focus. Even if I try I get distracted or start daydreaming or The Thoughts come back. And people will say "oh just pay attention" or "just don't daydream duh" and I cant. Like I physically cannot I am unable to do so. Plus the daydreams happen at random half the time and then I'm not in school anymore I'm in another world and everything's either going really well with things I wish would happen irl or everything is going absolutely horribly and u can't stop it. They're like "just do your work it's not that hard" I hear what you're saying but you're not hearing me bro. I can't 'just do it' and nobody seems to understand that except specific strangers on the internet.

There's other issues too but I am too scared to share them on tumblr rn and I know this may seem kinda dumb but if I live on this will affect me for life but it's so so numb and I'm so SO tired allll the time and sleep never helps at all and I literally just rot all day...

Literally the only reason I take care of myself at this point is so people don't judge me and idk if that's normal or not but I'm assuming it's not.. like if I have to go somewhere ill take a shower and brush my teeth and wash my face and put on perfume n shit but if not I will have a 'self care day' but idk if it's self care if the only thing I do is rot in bed all day and only get up to go to the bathroom or (sometimes) get food/water. I sleep so much and the days all blur together and it's so so so soo bad in summer. I think I have like reverse seasonal depression bc like when it's cold and dark and raining I THRIVE like never before (even if the constant tired doesn't go away, even if everything still sucks and I still hate the people I care about the most) it's just so nice. But in summer when it's hot and miserable and humid and my ac doesn't work and you can feel the mosquitos it is such a fucking low for me idk how to even describe it. When when we get the 2 months off for summer break it's so bad bro I think that's one of my lowest points excluding being in school when it's hot. If I didn't have church I know I would go those 2 months and not take care of myself at all and ik it sounds gross and it is and I hate it but why even try if I just fucking rot on my bed like a useless ass beached whale.

The crickets are gone

I miss them 💔

I don't get why it's so hard to sleep when I'm so so fucking tired or why I rot all day or why I'm so fucking angry and irritable all the time for no reason and it sucks ass tbh. And idk why I can't fucking do things like normal people can or why I think differently or why my thoughts are so fucked up and I disappoint the people I love. I don't really wanna do this anymore, I don't wanna be here much longer, but I know I have to because if I do it it'll break them in ways they will never be able to fix, and I don't wanna be that selfish. I want to help people, I want to be confident, and I wanna make people smile. I want to be able to ignore the daydreams, to block out the characters in my head and The Thoughts that I hate so much, and I wanna stop doing shit like this when I don't deserve it.

But sometimes all you can do is find a cold, dark, and quiet place, and think for a while.

Sorry for the long post gang, see yall with a silly goofy post another day <3

[polyamorouscultureis]

so this is a specific situation and uh i’d normally talk about it to my best friend bc she’s the only irl person who knows i’m a relationship anarchist but i can’t because it’s about her so i figured id see if you have any advice. so basically we’ve been besties for a few years (i’m in high school) and abt two years ago i had a crush on her and at that time neither of us had really been in a romantic relationship and it was my first real crush, i told her about she didn’t feel the same way and wasn’t ready for any romantic relationships anyway, so i pretty much got over it after a couple months and everything was cool. about a year ago we both started having romantic relationships and honestly none of the people either of us have dated were super great. anyway i’ve been single for a while and so this one time we had a sleepover together we were talking about how dating is hard and how you can’t really tell if people actually like you or just want to date somebody and she wa specifically saying how she wished she could just like kiss her friends and it not be weird (she referenced britney and santanas relationship at the beginning of glee!) and was was agreed with her and later we were cuddling and holding hands (which is pretty normal for us to do, i’m really touchy with my close friends which i actually found out bc of her) but like it felt more intimate than usual? like she was stroking my hair and tracing her fingers down my back and it was really sweet (while a slowed down version of teenage dream by katie perry was playing which feels like it means something) and i kissed her on the cheek/jawbone and she giggled and said i was cute! but ik she has a tendency to just kinda date people or let ppl kiss her bc she doesn’t wanna have to tell people no so i asked if it was okay that i did that and she was like “yeah it’s cool, i trust you, just keep it kinda private”(she’s v private about affection so it’s cool) and after we stopped cuddling she was joking around and sitting on her lap and uh i asked if i could kiss her (at the time i felt very platonic about it) and she said i could, so i did. and it was nice! not the most fireworks he he kiss i’ve had but it is the only one that i don’t think i’ll regret which is probably more important. but anyway a couple weeks later i start having kinda crushy feelings for her again, made a playlist and everything, but i can’t really tell if it’s queerplatonic/ alterous or a ‘normal’ romantic crush bc frankly i’m bad at understanding my own feelings. i think though that i want some sort of romantic friendship with her. honestly i’ve had romantic feelings on and off but she’s always a super important person in my life but she gets so busy i her worried our friendships more important to me than it is her and that feeling kinda sucks even when it’s wrong. but the problem is whatever the feelings are i don’t feel like i can tell her about it bc she started dating someone right after that day where we kissed so i never got the chance to talk about it and she’s Very much monogamous, she’s super supportive of me and whatever style relationships i want and but polyam just isn’t for her at all, so like what do i do? do i tell her i want a queer platonic relationship? do i keep it to myself until i’ve totally figured out what it is i want? or until she’s not in a relationship anymore??? (sorry for rambling on)

First of all this is so extremely cute <33

Second of all, it's hard to give advice in situations like this because there are so many unknowns. It's always a risk telling someone your feelings, especially if in the past they havent reciprocated. And it seems like you feel there is more to lose this time.

I guess the questions to ask yourself are, would it be more painful for you if she decided to stop being flirtatious with you because she didn't want to lead you on, or if she continued to flirt with you platonically after establishing that it will never be in a romantic capacity? What would change between you if you started a romantic relationship and what do you feel you miss out on without it? These are complex questions and it's sometimes hard to know what you want or how you would feel in just a hypothetical situation, but it may at least help point you in the direction you want to go. Best of luck anon!

[sayakxmi]

[Magi reread] Night 31: Banquet

This is a 5-chapter-long arc, it feels so much longer. But that's just because I have no emotional attachemnt to Morgiana, and, like, I appreciate the arc for good writing, but by God I'm not enjoying myself here all that much. Yeah, yeah, I should stop complaining about it every single time, but tbh I just like complaining. Kinda gets me to cool off a bit, and then get done what needs to be done, y'know?

Weird fate shit.

Edit: Actually, I've just realized in a way it parallels their first meeting, except this time around Aladdin's the one in chains.

I kind of missed Aladdin, ngl.

I love how fucking chill they are. Yea, gal just casually broke the door, you know, Aladdin, she might really be pretty strong, sorry I doubted you there for a sec.

The smol silly faces Ohtaka makes are one of the best things about this series.

Ok, maybe it really is the same face syndrome issue, bc this woman now reminds me abt Toya.

: )

1 - it's nice that she was worried about him, 2 - yea, I also kind of wonder, bc I don't remember how that happened.

Ooooh

SML Brothers! Still can't believe they're sorta positive characters later on.

Priorities. Fr, tho, I like that attitude.

Sorry I didn't add the entire page, but I just like that they were like Fuck it, Morgiana's our friend, we're not letting her become a slave. It'd be nice if their friendship existed later on, too.

XDDDDDDDDDDDDD HM, I WONDER WHO COULD THAT BE

I'm just laughing.

I love how they're just. Standing there. Like, huh, that looks familiar.

"Yep"

What is this animal on your head it should've stayed around

Awww

Lol.

Also, now I'm wondering if Ohtaka changed how Leila looks ot make her look less like Alibaba.

-Sinbad voice- FATE

And good for you. I'm not sure if he'll ever be mentioned again.

Yea, you were late like 5 months, F

Don't tell him. He'd get excited. Or he'll panic. It's a 50-50.

They're going together!

XDDDD

Maybe one day you'll see each other again (no you won't)

Lmao. Showing off her wall-climbing skills.

Aaaand 30 photos per post limit was hit, rip. But basically Aladdin decides to call Morgiana Mor(-san), because it's shorter, and Morgiana answers him with silence, lmao.

[timaeusterrored]

(This is specifically for the discord that was worried abt me, I just like making Vax sad)

Vax felt like he didn’t get a lot of credit for the crazy shit he did. Most of the credit went to the engram sitting next to him, but he could be just as crazy. Like now, wearing Johnny’s shades, smoking a cigarette, and hanging out in L.B Kovachek’s driveway.

The bastard pulled up, angry by the random guy in his driveway. Johnny was having a field day with V’s sudden act of aggression. The yacht just wasn’t enough for him honestly.

“How the hell did you get in my house?” V blew the smoke out, flicking the ashes off his cigarette.

“The door.” Johnny laughed harder, enjoying this a bit to much. Maybe he liked seeing V go a bit crazy from time to time, he was too tame in the engram’s opinion.

“What are you doing here? Who are you?” Kovachek leaned over him in the hoodless car. V just looked right back at him, blowing the smoke in his face.

“A friend.”

“Of who’s?”

“None of your business.” V hummed. Okay he could no longer call Kerry his friend considering every time they see each other, it turns into sex. Friends didn’t just do that and he wasn’t Johnny. Not yet anyway.

Kovachek mumbled something about not having the time for this and stomped off towards his house. V grinned when he heard the cry of anger coming from inside the house.

“Where the fuck is all my stuff? Did you- You’re the little shit that blew up my yacht!” Accusations! He was right but Kerry helped.

“Had amazing sex on it too before it blew.” That was also true.

“What the hell do you want? Where’s my stuff- Who the fuck even are you?” Kovachek wasn’t prepared for the fully chromed Merc to jump out of the car and loom over him.

“I want you to cancel that deal with Us Cracks. And to stop treating Kerry like he’s your fucking play thing.” He seemed to get it rather quickly that he wasn’t just Kerry’s friend. “Got me?”

“G-got it-“

“Repeat it.”

“Cancel the deal with Us Cracks, and treat Kerry better.” Kovachek was too easy. That kinda took the fun out of this.

“You’re stuff is in Night City. Have fun.” V patted his cheek and hopped back into his car, starting it up.

“Oh, and if I found out you pulled a fast one on me, you’re gonna be all over Night City. Have a nice night!” V called pleasantly as he pulled out of the drive, Johnny laughing his ass off in the passenger seat.

“Holy shit that was amazing. I’m pissed I didn’t think of it myself.” He hung his arm out the side of the car, looking at V.

“Yeah well, the shit I’d do for him I guess. That guy was shorter than I remember.” V called over the wind, despite not needing too. He liked talking out loud, sometimes he spent way too long being quiet.

“You really stole from that dick as a teen?” Johnny asked, lighting a cigarette.

“Yeah, that golden watch. He must’ve replaced it but man that was a hell of a payday!” V laughed, driving back to Kerry’s place to celebrate.