#but what do I know I’ve just worked in nonprofits for 6 years

[luckthebard]

.

[10yrsyart]

“Restitution: an act of restoring, or a condition of being restored”

None of us are perfect and so all of us have broken God’s Law. Good deeds can’t erase wrongs, just as you can’t recapture words that have left your mouth. But God loved us so much that He provided the payment for our sins instead. “He cancelled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross.” (Colossians 2:14)

Just as these people had a choice to accept the offer of legal freedom, we also have the choice to accept Jesus’ payment for us, and His freedom. “For God has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of His dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins.” (Colossians 1:13-14)

Don’t rely on the good things you do as a ticket to Heaven. Only perfection is allowed into God’s home. Which is why Jesus, who lived a perfect life and died in our place, is the only way to be made perfect in God’s eyes. His righteousness covers us when we believe. A third option isn’t there; you either live with Him or live separated from Him forever. Believe in Jesus and accept His offer of payment and eternal life, for He loved you enough to pay it all so you can live. 💙

“For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 6:23)

transcript:

Judge: You three have been charged with embezzlement, grand theft, and resisted arrest. You have two options. The first: A prison sentence that will continue until you have payed the entire sum of money that was lost. The second is provided by this gentleman here. He has offered to pay your bail in full, which I will accept as restitution, and your record will be wiped. Make your decisions now please.

Red Man: Who the heck is this guy, talking like he owns the place? These charges are totally unfair.

Blue Woman: What were you expecting? We did break the law.

Red Man: So our choices are living it up in prison or being indebted to this rich goody goody? I'm not accepting that. I don't need him. Where's the third option?

Purple Woman: I don't need a bail out either, I've done a lot of charity work. I'm sure there's a balance there somewhere.. You just have to wheedle the judge a little.

Blue Woman: Are you listening to yourself?-

Judge: Have you made your decisions?

Red Man: Yeah, I refuse! Who made it a crime to borrow a lil' money here and there? It's a free country, ain't it? Actually, it's a crime to discriminate against me like this!

Judge: So you have chosen the first option. I am truly sorry to hear this, Sir. Very well, officers, if you would-

Red Man: Hey, get your hands off me!

Judge: And you, ma'am?

Purple Woman: You see, Judge, I've worked with many nonprofits and charities over the years. They can vouch for me! I'm not really a bad person, this was just a little lapse in judgment, that's all.

Judge: I'm afraid it doesn't matter how many good works you've done, ma'am. The law is still the law, and you've broken it. If you do not accept the pardon you've been offered, you must accept the consequences of your actions.

Purple Woman: Let go of me! I don't deserve this-

Judge: What about you, ma'am?

Blue Woman: ..I'd like to accept this man's generous offer. But, if I may.. Why do you trust him to follow through? It's a rather large price...

Judge: Wonderful, a good question! I have seen his work and I trust his integrity explicitly. For you see- He is my Son.

Yeshua: Congratulations!

Blue Woman: Thankyou.. Thankyou so much! How can I ever repay you?!

Yeshua: I don't want your payment, I'm satisfied that you're free.

Blue Woman: But why?

Yeshua: Let's take a walk together for a bit and get to know each other. I'm doing something quite exciting, and I want you to be a part of it.

[brialitypoetry]

Ya girl is growing like a beanstalk!

This past week made 6 years since I started my career in arts education at [insert nonprofit org]. I didn't know it was arts education then. Hell, I ain't know a lot of shit then. When I walked in as Program Coordinator, I really just NEEDED a full time job with benefits; today, I’m a confident arts educator and the Director of Education and Youth Development at the same nonprofit. Here are some things I've learned since March 2018:

You don't know shit until you learn some shit! I walked in knowing it all!! Until I had to learn it all. A lot of us walk into jobs, projects, opportunities thinking we will immediately start implementing new, bubbling ideas. I found my season of learning the organization to be gruesome, humbling, and ultimately growing.

Lean into what you do know! Truth is, I created my current role. I saw a need inside our program and filled it with what I knew. Theatre games, team building, life skills! Turns out what I did naturally was actually knocking on the door of SEL development i.e. collaboration, conflict resolution, self management, emotional regulation, etc. That’s when we [the org & myself] found out funders and donors LOVE programs that center social, emotional skill development for youth and communities!!! Lmao.

Take control of your own professional development! Yes, my instincts were natural but that doesn't mean I didn't need developing. I definitely needed to walk it like I talked it. How could I teach emotional regulation to children without working to regulate my own. So, I found PDs, conferences, programs, a mentor [haha another story for another day], a therapist [AMEN!!!], and challenging opportunities that would grow me personally as well as stretch my understanding of youth development and shape my ideology around SEL curriculum building. Whew! It’s been a ride! And lastly,

Stick with some shit! Y'all! I aint gon lie like I've not tried to quit, and a few times lmao, cause what millennial you know have stayed at ONE job for 6 years? Exactly. However [insert non profit org] really invested in my growth and understanding of arts education. They granted and funded professional opportunities that would lay the groundwork for the organization’s Education DEPARTMENT! A first for [insert nonprofit]!! I’m over a department y’all. That’s nuts!! I never could have guessed this 6 years ago.

Since 2018, so much has changed. And I thank God for nothing being the same. I made no resolutions in 2024. I want to rest in this season I’ve worked so hard to get to. Let come what may. I’ll be ready! ✨

[jcmarchi]

Uphill battles: Across the country in 75 days

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/uphill-battles-across-the-country-in-75-days/

Uphill battles: Across the country in 75 days

Amulya Aluru ’23, MEng ’24, will head to the University of California at Berkeley for a PhD in molecular and cell biology PhD this fall. Aluru knows her undergraduate 6-7 major and MEng program, where she worked on a computational project in a biology lab, have prepared her for the next step of her academic journey.

“I’m a lot more comfortable with the unknown in terms of research — and also life,” she says. “While I’ve enjoyed what I’ve done so far, I think it’s equally valuable to try and explore new topics. I feel like there’s still a lot more for me to learn in biology.”

Unlike many of her peers, however, Aluru won’t reach the San Francisco Bay Area by car, plane, or train. She will arrive by bike — a journey she began in Washington just a few days after receiving her master’s degree.

Showing that science is accessible

Spokes is an MIT-based nonprofit that each year sends students on a transcontinental bike ride. Aluru worked for months with seven fellow MIT students on logistics and planning. Since setting out, the team has bonded over their love of memes and cycling-themed nicknames: Hank “Handlebar Hank” Stennes, Clelia “Climbing Cleo” Lacarriere, Varsha “Vroom Vroom Varsha” Sandadi, Rebecca “Railtrail Rebecca” Lizarde, JD “JDerailleur Hanger” Hagood, Sophia “Speedy Sophia” Wang, Amulya “Aero Amulya” Aluru, and Jessica “Joyride Jess” Xu. The support minivan, carrying food, luggage, and occasionally injured or sick cyclists, even earned its own nickname: “Chrissy”, short for Chrysler Pacifica.

“I really wanted to do something to challenge myself, but not in a strictly academic sense,” Aluru says of her decision to join the team and bike more than 3,000 miles this summer.

The Spokes team is not biking across the country solely to accomplish such a feat. Throughout their journey, they’ll be offering a variety of science demonstrations, including making concrete with Rice Krispies, demonstrating the physics of sound, using 3D printers, and, in Aluru’s case, extracting DNA from strawberries.   

“We’re going to be in a lot of really different learning environments,” she says. “I hope to demonstrate that science can be accessible, even if you don’t have a lab at your disposal.”

These demonstrations have been held in venues such as a D.C. jail, a space camp, and libraries and youth centers across the country; their learning festivals were even featured on a local news channel in Kentucky.

Some derailments

The team was beset with challenges from the first day they started their journey. Aluru’s first day on the road involved driving to every bike shop and REI store in the D.C. metro area to purchase bike computers for navigation because the ones the team had already purchased would only display maps of Europe.

Four days in and four Chrysler Pacificas later — the first was unsafe due to bald tires, the second made a weird sound as they pulled out of the rental lot, and the third’s gas pedal stopped working over 50 miles away from the nearest rental agency — the team was back together again in Waynesboro, Virginia, for the first time since they’d set out.

Since then, they’ve had run-ins with local fauna — including mean dogs and a meaner turtle — attempted to repair a tubeless bike that was not, in fact, tubeless, and slept in Chrissy the minivan after their tents got soaked and blew away.

Although it hasn’t all been smooth riding, the team has made time for fun. They’ve perfected the art of eating a Clif bar while on two wheels, played around on monkey bars in Colorado, met up with Stanford Spokes, enjoyed pounds of ice cream, and downed gallons of lattes.

The team prioritized routes on bike trails, rather than highways, as much as possible. Their teaching activities are scheduled between visits to National Parks like Tahoe, Zion, Bryce Canyon, Arches, and touring and hiking places like Breaks Interstate Park, Mammoth Cave, and the Collegiate Peaks.

Aluru says she’s excited to see parts of the country she’s never visited before, and experience the terrain under her own power — except for breaks when it’s her turn to drive Chrissy.

Rolling with the ups and downs

Aluru was only a few weeks into her first Undergraduate Research Opportunities Program project in the late professor Angelika Amon’s lab when the Covid-19 pandemic hit, quickly transforming her wet lab project into a computational one. David Waterman, her postdoc mentor in the Amon Lab, was trained as a biologist, not a computational scientist. Luckily, Aluru had just taken two computer science classes.

“I was able to have a big hand in formulating my project and bouncing ideas off of him,” she recalls. “That helped me think about scientific questions, which I was able to apply when I came back to campus and started doing wet lab research again.”

When Aluru returned to campus, she began work in the Page Lab at the Whitehead Institute for Biomedical Research. She continued working there for the rest of her time at MIT, first as an undergraduate student and then as an MEng student.

The Page Lab’s work primarily concerns sex differences and how those differences play out in genetics, development, and disease — and the Department of Electronic Engineering and Computer Science, which oversees the MEng program, allows students to pursue computational projects across disciplines, no matter the department.

For her MEng work, Aluru looked at sex differences in human height, a continuation of a paper that the Page Lab published in 2019. Height is an easily observable human trait and, from previous research, is known to be sex-biased across at least five species. Genes that have sex-biased expression patterns, or expression patterns that are higher or lower in males compared to females, may play a role in establishing or maintaining these sex differences. Through statistical genetics, Aluru replicated the findings of the earlier paper and expanded them using newly published datasets.

“Amulya has had an amazing journey in our department,” says David Page, professor of biology and core member of the Whitehead Institute. “There is simply no stopping her insatiable curiosity and zest for life.”

Working with the lab as a graduate student came with more day-to-day responsibility and independence than when she was an undergrad.

“It was a shift I quite appreciated,” Aluru says. “At times it was challenging, but I think it was a good challenge: learning how to structure my research on my own, while still getting a lot of support from lab members and my PI [principal investigator].”

Gearing up for the future

Since departing MIT, Aluru and the rest of the Spokes team have spent their nights camping, sleeping in churches, and staying with hosts. They enjoyed the longest day of the year in a surprisingly “Brooklyn chic” house, spent a lazy afternoon on a river, and pinky-promised to be in each other’s weddings. The team has also been hosted by, met up with, and run into MIT alums as they’ve crossed the country.

As Aluru looks to the future, she admits she’s not exactly sure what she’ll study — but when she reaches the West Coast, she knows she’s not leaving what she’s built through MIT far behind.

“There’s going to be a small MIT community even there — a lot of my friends are in San Francisco, and a few people I know are also going to be at Berkeley,” she says. “I have formed a community at MIT that I know will support me in all my future endeavors.”

[runawaymarbles]

Hii!

I don’t understand what’s going on with AO3 and the election? I’ve been using it for about a year so this is all new to me! Is Tiffany getting elected actually bad?

I hate censorship, so seeing posts about them censoring stuff is concerning but idk how much truth to it there is 😳

I just want to be informed, and understand!

Hi! Welcome to AO3:)

since I'm not sure how much you know already, the background (background as interpreted by me: I am not speaking on behalf of the OTW) is: Ao3 is run by the Organization for Transformative Works (OTW), the nonprofit that also runs Fanlore and publishes Transformative Works & Cultures. Anyone who has donated $10 to the OTW in the last year, and chooses "yes I want to be a member" at checkout is an OTW member. (This is not the same as having an ao3 account.) Every year, there is an election to fill either 2 or 3 seats on the Board of Directors. OTW Members (i.e. people who donated between 7/1/21 and 6/30/22, in this case) get to vote on this.

Most of the time, this election is only really followed by people on fail_fandomanon. Sometimes, it isn't.

Things the Board of Directors does: writes posts to send out to the general public when Things Are Happening (the recent csam attacks, the requests for more antiracism measures.) Writes posts to send to volunteers when Things Are Happening (see prev.) Keeps track of what all the committees are doing and how it ties in with whatever the strategic plan says they should be doing. Deals with the IRS/US laws. Approves large funding requests. Deals with emails that someone else has deemed outside their own wheelhouse. Herds cats. Proposes priorities. Points at something shiny, pats the org on the flank, and says "walk that way, walk that way!! Come on buddy, you can do it!!". etc etc etc.

Things the Board of Directors doesn't do: unilaterally determine ao3 content policy. Let us use the word "porn" on ao3 drive merch. Make decisions that are going greatly affect other volunteers' work without input and some level of agreement from said volunteers.

Anyway. This year, one of the five candidates for the three open board seats is Tiffany G. (More information about all the candidates and their platforms is at https://elections.transformativeworks.org)

Tiffany is a tag wrangler from an unspecified country that is, from context, assumed to be China. The candidate Q&A can be read here. Her answers were a little bit confusing, but she said she wanted to update the ToS policies on 'pedophilic and illegal content' because, quote, "people think we host child porn content and such things... It might... be helpful to clarify that to the public." Further down she said:

a) I support 100% “maximum inclusiveness of content”, yet there is always a boundary to everything. Since OTW is already an influential org, we need to protect our image and hold a better image to the public. I want the public to think of us as an inclusive and socially responsible community. So in general, we have to do something to change. Things like making the rating system more specific and obvious to users will be what I want to do. b) Not really restricting the content being posted. I hope it is like more warnings and ratings for posting work so people know what to expect. And all of these are not surprising to people who do not wish to see this.

I took this to mean "she wants to clarify to outsiders that ao3 does not host csam, is not only for erotica, and update the ratings and warnings system." I don't think that those things are necessary or should be a focus of the org, which is part of why I didn't vote for her.

Other people took it to mean "Tiffany is against pornographic or underage works and wants them to be banned." Some people took this, combined with her nationality, to the conclusion of "Tiffany is a secret plant of the Chinese Communist Party who wants to join the board, get all the ao3 user data, and then have the users from mainland China arrested" (despite the fact that this is not information the board would have access to, if for no other reason than ao3 is blocked in China so anyone trying to view the site from mainland china has to use a VPN anyway.) Some people are upset that the OTW elections committee "allowed" her to run in the first place, because they think that not letting anyone with opinions the current board or elections committee didn't like is an absolutely great precedent to set.

There are a bunch of comments on tw.org, and some in fail_fandomanon, that give more context to her comments in terms of Chinese fandom (though most posters still disagree with her position.)

This got... longer than planned. But to the question "Is tiffany getting elected actually bad" - If my interpretation of her statements are correct, I think it would be annoying, because she does not have the experience I think that being on the Board requires, and focuses on priorities I disagree with. Which isn't to say she'd never have a valuable perspective or ideas about something, but there are four other candidates that I think are much better suited to it at this point in time. If the people who think she is an antishipper bent on censorship are correct, she could probably make life very annoying for the rest of the board-- but considering the rest of them are not pro-censorship, I can't see how she'd have much influence in that direction in the org as a whole.

If the people who think she's doing espionage on behalf of the CCP are correct, then... look, I can't even finish that sentence because I find the idea of the CCP deciding that a) they need to get ao3 user data and b) the way to do that is to run a clearly unqualified candidate in a public board election absurd.

the tl;dr of this tl;dr is that there's a lot of fearmongering going around, and a lot of accusations and hate (and racism. let’s be real a lot of this is racism) directed her way. I don't know her, so I don't know what her "real" opinions are, but regardless of who wins the board election, ao3 is not going to be censored any time soon.

if for no other reason than if the Abuse team was told on top of all their other work, they now had to assess and remove fics reported for being "problematic", they would say "we'd prefer not to" and then proceed to not do it.

It's awesome that people are realizing the board elections and OTW membership are a thing now, though. We kept talking about how to encourage membership, and "running a very dramatic and wanky election" did not occur to us. In retrospect, I don't know why.

[nanowrimo]

How to Make It to 50,000 Words

Every year, we’re lucky to have great sponsors for our nonprofit events. Scrivener, a 2021 NaNo sponsor, is an award-winning writing app that has been enthusiastically adopted by best-selling novelists and novices alike. Today, they’ve partnered with author Elizabeth Haynes to share some tips to help you reach your writing goal:

We're now a little past the halfway point of NaNoWriMo, and it's a good idea to check in to see how your project is going. The mid-point of this 30-day period can be a bit difficult; after 15+ straight days of writing you may be hitting a wall. You may be behind in your word count, or you may be running short of inspiration. 

We asked Elizabeth Haynes, who has written a half dozen novels all started during NaNoWriMo, for five tips on making it to the end of the month. 

1. What do you recommend for authors whose enthusiasm flags halfway through NaNoWriMo?

There is a wall that hits most people, usually around the beginning of week three. This is where fellow writers can help: push through any blockages with write-ins, virtual this year, or find round-the-clock writing sprints on Twitter to give your word count a boost.

2. NaNoWriMo is all about writing for a month, and word count is part of the way we measure progress. What if an author's word count seems too low to make it to that 50,000-word goal?

I truly believe that every word is a victory. Even if you only manage 20,000, or 10,000, or 5,000 words, that's still more than you'd probably have written otherwise. If you're slipping behind and the 50k feels out of reach, KEEP GOING ANYWAY. Use the momentum of NaNoWriMo to write as many words as you can, and you never know; a sudden burst of inspiration may propel you over the finish line. If you stop, that's definitely not going to happen.

3. Some writers feel that they absolutely have to finish their novel in November; is that really necessary?

I think you have to tell yourself that you're going to finish, and then see how you get on. I've only ever finished once in November, although I've won the 50k every year since 2005, except for 2009 (long story). Usually I ride the momentum into December and finish a couple of weeks later.

4. At the mid-point of this process, can a writer decide they want to change direction, change their plot, reconsider characters, or even start over? Or is it too late?

There are no rules for your story. So, absolutely: change the plot, introduce new characters, kill people off, or start a second one; just don't delete anything. Every word counts, even the rubbish ones!

5. Do you have any other tips for writers who are finding it difficult to maintain their rhythm?

The word count statistics feature in Scrivener is very useful. I use it to keep track of the total goal as well as the word counts for each sprint as I do them; it really helps to see the little bar change from red to yellow to green as you reach your goal. I also think it helps to tell people you're writing a novel; the more you talk about it, the more seriously you take it. And try not to fall behind! It's good to get ahead of target early in the month if you can, then if you have a day or two when life takes over and you can't write, it won't feel such a disaster when you're able to get back to it. Good luck! YOU CAN DO IT!

Elizabeth Haynes is the author of more than a half dozen novels, all of which began as NaNoWriMo projects. You can also hear Elizabeth Haynes discuss her work, and NaNoWriMo, in episode no. 6 of the Write Now with Scrivener podcast.

Kirk McElhearn is a writer, podcaster, and photographer. He is the author of Take Control of Scrivener, and host of the podcast Write Now with Scrivener.

Top photo by Erol Ahmed on Unsplash.

[pixiedoodlein]

10 days until school and I’m no more decided than I was a week ago. I flip flop ten times day about what might be best. A is sick of hearing me talk about it. He doesn’t disagree with my risk assessment but he is sick of talking about it.

It caused an issue with his friend, a friend who is his best friend and is unvaccinated and works in a jail. Months ago we told friend he could only visit (this place is their boyhood dream) once he’s vaccinated. Friend typically believes in science and is very health conscious but his gf is a moron Trump lover and her family the same and that’s who he’s been spending all his time with since this all started. When I asked friend why he’s not vaccinated he said he’s young & healthy, didn’t trust the vaccines, would do it when they got full fda approval. Plenty of young healthy people are dead of this. Anyway then I asked ok so what if you give it to someone who isn’t and dies, people incarcerated in the jail he works in and don’t have the luxury of social distancing, and he was like eh whatever. So yes friend is an asshole, but his best friend for decades, friend has always been kind of an asshole but has many redeeming qualities too. So we said no visit. But then in July when there was no covid here and no covid where he lives and we were blissfully living our covid free lives we loosened up and said he could visit with two negative tests. But then covid got bad again and when asshole friend contacted A the other day to say he took time off in late Sept to visit, A said sorry, it’s fully fda approved now you have no excuses not to vaccinate, we’re worried about our unvaccinated kids, and as of now you can’t visit but hey maybe if you get vaccinated and the numbers look better we can reassess in a month and you can come. Friend was a total dick about it, didn’t understand our point of view at all, stressed A about it, who was in a bad mood about it for days afterward.

Then there’s the neighbors. I had a chat with the kids and a chat with the mom. I framed it as we love them so much and I know they’re careful but I think we should all be more careful while the numbers are so rising (aka only outdoor hangouts) and we are careful but I’ve heard terrifying stories from doctor friends about kids and babies getting very sick, and they have a baby who I don’t want us to make sick, and she said she agreed. The kids have been pretty good about making the adjustment from constant sleepovers to playing outside but M keeps asking me “the kids need to pee are they allowed to use the bathroom, the kids are hungry are they allowed to come inside even for one minute for a snack,” and I feel like the villain (I’ve been saying yes to pee, snacks I’ll bring out). Everyone’s been understanding but nobody is getting what I mean when I say only outdoor socializing. All the kids keep asking me when I’ll take them to town again for ice cream, “but it’s outside” (um yeah but the car’s not), asking their mom to ask me for sleepovers even though they know what the answer will be. The other day they were playing in our yard then it started raining and they were like “we can’t walk home in the rain”- I don’t want them to walk home in the rain, but again the car is indoors!- so I drove them home (but made M stay at our house). They’re not my kids so I can’t make them wear masks and it feels like now I am in the position of being the mean parent who’s psycho about covid, which in a way I am, but it would help me to stick to my guns and feel okay about sticking to them if the government policies matched the severity of the situation, ie mask mandates in public places (instead of stores posting polite recommendations), vaccine mandates, virtual learning options, etc.

Which brings me to school. After selling M hard on real school, then I sold her hard on home school. She already “did” 3rd grade last year (as much as me teaching her in my pajamas counts as doing), but this district has an earlier cut off than the city, so she’s in 3rd grade again here. Which is fine by me- her birthday is the same day as the very late nyc cut off (12/31) and I hated that she was the absolute youngest. I used to beg the school to hold her back and they’d say “but why she’s doing so well!” not understanding that I was thinking ahead to the teen years. But anyway, despite her haphazard pj’d professor, she seemed to learn a lot last year so homeschool this year could basically be unschool. She’d traipse around the forest identifying birds and trees with A and her brother, reading for pleasure, and I’d spend an hour here and there reviewing some worksheets with her so she’d be on track when she starts real school after she gets vaccinated. She was into the idea, until she found out she and one of the neighbor kids are in the same class. Now she absolutely wants to go to real school, AND ride the school bus. The school bus part makes me very nervous. While there is now a school mask mandate (but will it be enforced? what are their lunch procedures, what % of teachers are vaccinated, what % of the older kids in the same building as the little kids are vaccinated, did they actually really update their ventilation system?) and a bus mask rule, it’s a long rural route (15 min drive or 45 min bus) and I have no faith that bus windows will be open and all riders will be masked the whole time.

So just tell her she can go to school but has to be driven by a parent, right? Not so simple. I was offered a job at a (somewhat, commuting distance) nearby nonprofit- an easy low stress job in a bastion of liberalism with very very nice smart coworkers, excellent work life balance, a writing job that sounds made for me, like the job description is exactly what I would put together if I were putting together my dream job (except the pay, which is half what I was making at a fancy DC nonprofit, but high for this area, and our housing cost is half so it should be fine if A can get away from little guy long enough to bring in some money too). It’s mostly remote but approx one day a week in the office and some days there will be things I need to attend out in the community (not necessarily our community, they serve the whole region). It won’t always be the same day in the office and the office is an hour away- so on those days A would have no car to get her to and from school, since I’d need to leave before school starts and get home after it’s done. So I guess we need to buy a new car? Aside from this issue we really don’t need a second car now, were planning to get one eventually, but not until A’s business has enough projects to justify the cost.

Despite its many demands/challenges/ stressors, home school is sounding easier to me at this point (especially because she already did this grade), except she WANTS to go to school. Someone talk me out of putting some lipstick and a pantsuit on her and taking her to get vaccinated. I know, I know: the 5-11 dosage is 1/3 of the 12-adult dosage. The doctors I’ve spoken to are split on this hypothetical kamikaze mission. The doctors I’ve spoken to are also split on me and A going to a pharmacy now for booster. It’s been almost 6 months since our 2nd dose. We do not have compromised immune systems. This county has way more doses than demand and I would feel better sending M to school (bus or not) if we had our boosters and she had a first dose- moral and scientific quandaries aside- because there is A LOT of covid here now, a lot of covid everywhere now, and I feel like we are returning to regular life at the time when we should be most hunkered down.

Which brings me to the data. Per capita there are as many known cases here as in nyc, except nyc has a 50% higher vax rate, much more mask usage, better medical system. People are not getting enough tests here, there is a higher positivity rate, and so I think the actual number of cases is much higher than the reported number of cases. It seems like, friends here and in the city and in the suburbs (I just broke up with a friend in the suburbs because she professes to be a good democrat but is hosting a bonafide super spreader event and vacationing in a place with 39% positivity and a collapsed health care system), are thinking of covid as something you catch from strangers- they wear masks in stores- but aren’t careful at all around close friends and family (so many extended family gatherings, so many, cousins and grandparents and half-siblings and aunts and uncles and whoever), when this is a disease that kills via the people you love most, the ones who’d never intentionally hurt you.

[ifuckinglovestvincent]

NY TIMES: St. Vincent Is Trying to Understand People

As she releases her sixth album, “Daddy’s Home,” the musician expounds on the lengthy documentaries, Janet Jackson bust and Joni Mitchell album that feed her creativity.

By Olivia Horn

May 4, 2021, 10:00 a.m. ET

Despite the hardships of the past year, Annie Clark’s sixth studio album came together with remarkable ease. “Maybe I earned a fun one,” Clark, who records under the name St. Vincent, mused. “Usually there’s some kind of ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ moment. And there just wasn’t.”

Clark, 38, spent much of 2020 shuttling between her home in Los Angeles and her family’s in Texas. But the record (“Daddy’s Home,” due May 14) was born at Electric Lady Studios in Manhattan, where she and her repeat collaborator Jack Antonoff landed on 1970s New York as their lodestar. The resulting songs ease away from the angular art-pop of “Masseduction” from 2017, opting for gentler, slouchier rock. The relative softness corresponds to Clark’s effort to treat the troubled, complicated characters that populate her record with care. Among them are the broke and lovelorn protagonist of the lead single “Pay Your Way in Pain,” Nina Simone, Marilyn Monroe and her own father, whose release from prison in 2019 inspired the title track.

Clark confessed that she did not meet her quarantine goals of learning conversational Italian or writing a tour bus cookbook, but she did read some books about the gulag. Calling from her “utilitarian” Los Angeles studio, she detailed 10 of her favorite things to watch, read and hear — many of her picks reflecting a fascination with history and an eagerness to unpack social and aesthetic violence. These are edited excerpts from the conversation.

1. William Scott Sculptures

I discovered William Scott’s work through David Byrne, at his place in New York. And when we were on tour with “Love This Giant,” we went to Creative Growth in Oakland [a nonprofit that supports artists with disabilities]. I had my eye on this bust of Janet Jackson. And then when I was back, I went and bought a bust of CeCe Winans. So I have these busts in my library.

A lot of the artists whose work I collect are people who are marginalized from society in one way or another. What I like about it is that the expression feels very pure. These are people who might not have all of the tools at their disposal or the education, or any of that, but they are compelled to make work. That kind of irrepressible urge in people — that I just find so inspiring and heartening and cool. And it’s completely divorced from any of the status of the quote, unquote, “art world.”

2. Adam Curtis’s Documentary Series “Century of the Self”

The way his work has been described is as emotional history or impressionistic history. The lines that he draws between events and trends are not exactly “A plus B equals C,” but the general thesis is like, “the collective consciousness is saying this.” As a writer, I’m always trying to understand systems and understand people.

3. Ric Burns’s “New York: A Documentary Film”

I used to live in a rent-controlled place in the East Village. But it was shady how I lived there, so I was never able to get utilities in my name. I lived there for 10 years and I didn’t have the internet, so I had DVDs. I used to go to Kim’s Video all the time and buy DVDs so when I would wake up hung over and be like, “Oh, just can’t quite make it out of bed today,” I would have something to put on. If I wanted to watch something it wasn’t like “Netflix and chill.” I associate that Ric Burns documentary with being either hung over or tired or both, and watching it in my bed.

4. Joni Mitchell’s “Hejira”

This is one of those Joni Mitchell records that I didn’t hear until I was in my early 20s. Everybody knows “Blue” and “Ladies of the Canyon,” but this is when I became a Joni Mitchell fan, with a capital F. This record’s just so deep. Her lyrics are … Cubist. I’m thinking of the one where she’s like, “In the mirrors of a modern bank/From the window of a hotel room.” And it’s all wiggles, you know? It’s like water, that record. And I don’t mean to make it about me, but I feel like I can understand some of the things that Joni talks about, like the refuge of the road, or watching the world from an airplane or being in a hotel room.

5. Maggie Nelson’s “The Art of Cruelty”

This is one of those books that I picked up six times and would get through a few pages and be like, “This is really brilliant,” but it felt impenetrable at first. Then I had this one weekend where the clouds parted, and I just could see it and plowed through it. It talks about the ethics of being an artist in a way that is so brilliant, and so not orthodox or finger wagging. I think it’s one of those books you can revisit at various points of your life.

6. Her Own STV Signature Series Guitar

Part of it was inspired by Klaus Nomi’s tuxedo. And I wanted it to hit my sternum in a particular way. I am cis female, so the way that it hits the sternum and then has a little bit of a cutaway, it makes room for my breast. But just one of them. There’s only room for one! I love it. It’s the only electric that I play, with very rare exception.

I saw people’s pictures of it from the Met [in the exhibition “Play It Loud: Instruments of Rock & Roll”], because I never got a chance to go and see it in real life. Most of the time, I just kind of like quietly put my head down and work — and then every once in a while, I look up and see something that I’ve made, and it’s mysterious that it’s in the world.

7. Wim Wenders’s “Pina”

I love Pina Bausch’s work. I was really inspired by “The Rite of Spring,” where the virgin dances herself to death. There’s this one particular movement that was like, drawing your hand above your head, and then when you pull it down, your elbow goes into your stomach — sort of like you’re open and then you’re impaling yourself. It just moved me to tears. So when I worked with my friend Annie-B Parson to choreograph the Digital Witness Tour, I was like, “Can we please incorporate this?” Another big thing: I was obsessed with falling. That was another big part of the Bausch work. How do you fall and make it look violent but not hurt yourself? I’d get a rehearsal room with Annie-B and just practice falling.

8. Vintage RCA 77-D Microphone

It’s an old ribbon mic, and it just sounds so good and warm. I know these are words that might not mean that much — when people describe sound as warm, it’s reductive. But it makes things sound and feel true. I don’t mean that it has perfect fidelity. What I mean is that when you sing into this microphone, what comes back at you feels honest. My friend Cian Riordan, who mixed “Daddy’s Home,” hipped me to this mic.

9. “Hidden Brain” Podcast

There was one recently about the idea of honor culture. You know, if someone is insulting someone’s masculinity and masculinity is tied up with honor, you have to avenge that insult. A lot of these “honor societies” end up with more violence because you have to save face and there’s less ways to assimilate conflict. The premise of so much of “Hidden Brain” is that we live by the stories we tell ourselves. And as a storyteller, that idea is very liberating to me, because if we live by the stories we tell ourselves, it means that when we get new information, we can assimilate that information and tell ourselves new stories.

10. Piazza della Signoria in Florence

The first time I was there was with my mom and sisters. I remember just walking through this piazza and having a wonderful time and wonderful conversation, and really being awe-struck by the architecture and the history, and just that life was beautiful. Another time, a number of years later, I was on tour with David Byrne and we had our last show in Florence, and I remember walking through with band members and then having the best dinner of my life after. It’s one of those places where, at very pivotal points of my life, I’ve been there and only beautiful things have happened to me.

[luxekook]

chapter two.

⇥ pairing: namjoon x reader; eventual bts/ot7 x reader

⇥ genre: college au with fluff, smut & angst

⇥ summary: a series in which the reader meets (and falls for) seven members of the Beta Tau Sigma (BTS) fraternity

⇥ word count: 2.3k

⇥ warnings: 18+, cursing, chaotic namjoon, power tools, hints of poly relationships, overall pretty smut free (who AM i???)

© luxekook. please do not repost, modify, edit or translate.

characters | prologue | one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine

Chapter Two

Habitat for Humanity Worksite – 9:26am

When I signed up to volunteer Saturday morning of syllabus week, I should have known I would end up regretting it. I almost punted my alarm clock out of the apartment window this morning, but instead settled a slightly more civil action – punching the shit out of the ‘off’ button.

Don’t get me wrong: I love volunteering. It’s been part of my routine since sophomore year when I was recruited for the all-women’s service society on campus – the Alphites. As a society, us Alphites volunteer around campus and in our local community each week. There’s something about doing service together that really creates bonds, and the girls in the society have quickly become some of my closest friends.

We sign up to volunteer for a variety of different service projects each week, and Habitat is my current favorite project to sign up for. As a nonprofit organization, Habitat for Humanity helps families build and improve places to call home. Currently, our regional Habitat is working on building a house from the ground up for a local family in need.

Disclaimer: I am in no way, shape, or form a very ‘handy’ person. Luckily for me, there are always a couple volunteers with construction or engineering backgrounds who are willing to teach other volunteers with less experience – or none, like me.

Since beginning to volunteer at the site last year, I have learned how to use a power saw, how to fasten siding, and how to mix, pour and level cement. It’s definitely empowering to learn new skills and also to see how my handiwork contributes to someone’s future home. I also feel lowkey badass when I get to use the power drill for anything.

Pulling up to the worksite, I clutch my cherished 24oz. Wawa coffee. I finally feel somewhat human as I park my beat-up Jeep Wrangler and hop out to meet the other volunteers for our task assignments.

The site leader Eddie – a burly retiree with a background in construction management – greets me with a huge grin, “(y/n)-doll, we missed you this summer! I can’t believe you abandoned us during the hottest months of the year.”

I roll my eyes, smiling at his teasing. Eddie’s like a teddy bear disguised as a grizzly – all rough edges and a heart of gold. “Missed you, too, Eddie.”

“Look at our progress now,” he continues, “Pretty impressive, yeah?” Nodding, I greet some regular volunteers I recognize as Eddie leads me around the house. He proceeds to show me what they had done over the summer in my absence – and they had done a lot. The house now had its full foundation and wooden framing with most of the doors and windows installed.

As we walk back to the front of the house to the main area, I sip my coffee and turn to Eddie, “So, what can I work on today, fearless leader?”

Letting out a patented ‘Eddie belly-laugh’, he replies, “I know you worked on the siding at our last site so I'm gonna have you work on where we started the siding on the right side of the house.”

Sweet, I could work with that. “Aye, aye, captain,” I respond with a lazy salute of my coffee cup. Before I can turn to start towards the scaffolding to begin, Eddie stops me.

“Oh, one more thing. I’m gonna need you to orient our new volunteer and let him shadow you today. Kid’s from the same school as you, I think… Mandatory service. Anyway, he should be here any minute.”

Shit, I know what ‘mandatory service’ means. It’s the first form of disciplinary action that the college issues and is usually the only form of disciplinary action for our athletes or for Greek life – a fact I actively resent. During my time in the Alphites, I have had to deal with some of these ‘mandatory service’ characters and they’ve never been much fun to be around.

“Ah, that’s probably him now,” Eddie startles me out of my thoughts of dread and doom as a black gleaming Tesla practically purrs down the block, swinging into the spot next to my Wrangler. Scowling, I cross my arms as I survey the stark contrast between this person’s shiny-ass luxury car and my dirty-ass well-loved Jeep.

The Tesla door opens. A Timberland booted foot emerges followed by a thick leg encased in light jeans, a tanned well-muscled arm…

No. Nope, it couldn’t be— Please, not today, Satan.

He stands with his back to us now, stretching out his large body. In only a cutoff t-shirt, his rippling back muscles might be enough to send me into an early grave.

I sigh in bitter defeat of the inevitable. Seriously, the fucking universe must have it out for me because I can’t seem to shake this stupid fucking fraternity.

As if the boy feels my eyes on him, he turns. His eyes immediately clash with mine as he slams his car door, clicking the lock over his shoulder. Those eyes – golden brown beneath dark brows and a wave of bleached blonde hair. Their focus is absolute – hard – as he strolls towards us. It’s almost as if he knows the maddening effect that he has on me.

I think Eddie is speaking, but my senses are on lockdown, his words muted. My thighs tighten as my pulse picks up. Get a fucking grip, (y/n). I can’t let him know that just one look from him has me thirsty and oxygen-deprived. I can’t look away – that would be succumbing to weakness.

Instead, I hold his heated gaze as best I can as his confident gait brings him closer. God, he’s got to be at least 6 foot...

The goddamn president of BTS Kim Namjoon is getting closer and I can’t help running my eyes over him.

His thighs flex and shift beneath his jeans with every calculated step. His abs are apparent under his tight cutoff shirt emblazoned with his fraternity letters.

Namjoon stops in front of us, hands stuffed into his back pockets, biceps flexing. “Nice to finally meet you, Eddie,” Namjoon takes his eyes off me long enough to greet Eddie and shake his hand, but then they’re right back on me, “Hi, (y/n).”

He drags out my name in a such a sinful way that even old Eddie does a slight doubletake. Clearing his throat unnecessarily loudly, Eddie booms, “You two know each other?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

Our differing replies sound at the same time.

“Yes,” Namjoon repeats, lips turning up in an infuriating smile, “We have several mutual friends that she’s met a couple times now. Want me to jog your memory? I’d be more than happy to do so.”

Eddie takes one look at my face and hustles off, mumbling something about support beams. I guess my inner thoughts of ‘kill, maim, slaughter’ could easily be read from my facial expression.

Namjoon opens his mouth to speak again, but I’m faster, “Listen, Kim, I don’t know who you think you are, and, quite frankly, I don’t care. What I do care about is this house and these people working on it. Don’t fuck this up for me, okay? Let’s just get through today and then you can go back to ordering around your brothers and causing general mayhem.”

I’m feeling pretty proud of my little soliloquy until I realize he’s still smiling with those blasted dimples out in full display. No, his smile has grown even wider now as he simply answers, “The semester.”

My nose crinkles in confusion, “What?”

“The semester,” he repeats, “I’m assigned here every Saturday for the rest of the semester.”

I stare at him.

He smirks back.

I stare.

His smirk begins to fade, “Uh, did you hear me?”

I stare.

“Okay, you’re creeping me out now, (y/n),” Namjoon waves his giant paw of a hand in front of my face, “How many fingers?”

I break out of my trance of denial and hiss, “What did you do? Double homicide? Serial arson? Oh my god, you were the one who blew up the science lab!”

His hand covers my mouth – it’s rough and warm and entirely disarming.

“You have quite the imagination, jagi. I’ll keep that in mind,” Namjoon chuckles, “To answer your question, I did none of the above. Now, answer a couple questions of mine: what did you do to get here and – more importantly – why did you distract Jungkook from doing his fucking job on Monday?”

I glare in response, waiting for him to remove his hand from my mouth. He takes too long, and I lick his palm. It works. He removes his hand, but from the look on his face it seems like he liked my tongue on his skin entirely too much.

Thankfully, Eddie chooses the perfect moment to yell across the site, “What are you doing just standing there, (y/n)-doll? I don’t pay you to just loiter around all day!”

“You don’t pay me at all!” I yell back, already moving towards the trailer with all the supplies to get started. Namjoon follows.

“(y/n)-doll?” his eyebrows are raised as I hand him a pair of the biggest gloves I could find, “What’s up with that?”

Taking a pair of smaller gloves for myself, I turn to look for some hammers and nails as I respond, “I’ve been here a while. He’s like my honorary grandfather at this point.”

I spot the hammers and nails tucked away on the highest corner shelf and I huff. Namjoon follows my gaze, “Need a strong, intelligent, tall young man to grab those for you?”

He’s impossible, but for some reason it draws a small smile to my face, “Yes, that’d be great.”

The smile I receive in response is so bright I wonder if it could make flowers grow, “Okay, but only if answer my questions, (y/n).”

I shrug, trying not to notice how his cutoff shirt rises as he stretches to reach the upper shelf. I catch a sudden glimpse of his abs, and I praise every god out there that hot weather can be blamed for my sudden onset of sweat. 

Clearing my throat, I laugh lightly, “Fine, first of all, I didn’t ‘distract’ Jeon. I just had a temporary lapse in judgement. Besides, he came to me all on his own.” His back muscles tense up at my words, but I continue, “And second of all, there’s no juicy story of how I got here. I just volunteer here every Saturday for the Alphites.”

The sound of a hammer hitting the floor startles me as he whirls around, “You’re an Alphite?”

Namjoon’s tone is one of disbelief and it’s a tone I do not appreciate, “Yes, why is that so hard to believe?” My arms cross defensively, “I’ve been a sister since my sophomore year...”

I trail off. He’s still gawking at me ridiculously. Narrowing my eyes, I stride across the trailer and grab his chin, closing his mouth for him, “Watch out, Kim, you’re gonna catch flies.”

Spinning on my heels, I sashay out of the trailer, nose held high in the air and satisfaction held even higher. He’ll catch up. After all, he’s basically supposed to be my bitch today.

I climb up the scaffolding next to the house’s right side and assess the siding work that has already been started. It looks pretty solid and level. I should have no issue with continuing without having to make any initial corrections.

The sound of a bucket of nails hitting the top platform I’m sitting on alerts me of Namjoon’s impending presence. Saving the bucket from teetering over the edge – a safety hazard for sure – I watch amusedly as Namjoon struggles stay upright and climb up to where I am on the scaffolding. Finally, he plops down next to me – entirely too close. I can feel his stare on my skin as I steadfastly ignore him.

“Hey, jagi,” he pokes my arm, “(y/n), listen, you just caught me off guard. I mean, you don’t seem like the type to be an Alphite – that’s all.”

Fury curls up inside me for the umpteenth time that morning, as I turn to face Namjoon with a sickly-sweet smile that has him flinching back, “Then do tell, Namjoon, what type I seem to be?”

I pick up the hammer closest to me and dip a hand into the nail bucket. The sooner this siding got done, the sooner I could haul ass out of here.

“I feel like that’s a trick question,” Namjoon sighs, rubbing a hand over his chin, “I didn’t mean anything bad by it, okay? I guess I just have always thought that your society was a bunch of mom-types—”

I cut him off with a swing of my hammer in the air, “What’s wrong with mom-types, you uncultured swine? And is serving your community really such a ‘mom’ thing to do? I’m sorry. I must have missed that memo. Here I was thinking that it was public service but go off I guess.”

He blinks, “Did you just call me an ‘uncultured swine’?”

I sniff in indignation, “Get with the times, Kim. I just roasted your ass. Now hand me that piece of siding and make yourself useful.”

“You’re so weird,” Namjoon mutters, sliding my request over to me.

“So what?” I shrug, “All the best people are weird. Now, do me a solid and explain to me why you and your ‘brothers’ keep suspiciously popping up everywhere I go.”

“Haven’t you figured it out yet?” he grins, “We’re interested.”

“What does that even mean? That you’re interested?” I wrack my brain, “As in all seven of you fuckers?”

“It means, jagi,” Namjoon pauses, leaning closer, “It means that we’re going to date the shit out of you.”

a/n: i love namjoon. that is all. 

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[manicparadox]

Being a manager is weird.

1) I have to not take anything personally. I got a result of a survey question that says one person on my team is only “somewhat satisfied” with their manager and I sorta lost it like… who isn’t satisfied with me 😭😭. No, what this is is opportunity to do something different, NOT to get down on me. This isn’t about me, it’s about something I’m doing, and they aren’t the same.

2) I’ve been at this less than two months, it’s not always going to be perfect.

3) These people probably think I’m the weirdest manager they’ve EVER had. You ever have a manager that wears weird colored wigs and hats for the Wednesday informal coffee chat? Well there’s 5 people that now have, and they all gotta put up with me every day.

4) I career counseled a guy I used to work with and it ended with me giving him a pep talk and wishing I could wrap him in a blanket and give him soup, and I realize what I really want is to be a manager that never breaks someone’s spirit like that.

5) I am literally bumbling around asking a million questions but repressing my inner person with opinions is hard. I have to remind myself that my job is to make space for other people’s opinions, and sometimes, to shut up.

6) I feel like sometimes people want feedback and other times they want head pats. And I’m shit at telling the difference. Sometimes I feel like I offer suitable headpats on something, but also I provide some constructive feedback, and then everyone rushes in with all head pats and I’m like wait was I supposed to be doing that? Or did you need my engineering opinion? Separating validation from feedback opportunities is hard as hell when all of your abilities to read people are fake, and mostly learned the hard way. Fake it til you make it is how I learned all the social skills I have.

7) It’s fuckin hard to read people when you’re always remote. Please let me have a whole day of my team stopping at my desk. I’m gonna put out snacks when we go back to get them to stop in. Look I’m not above baiting people with chocolate, I’m going to be the best snack manager.

8) I know snacks don’t make a manager, it’s intentionally managing relationships while having empathy, seeking opportunities for my people, opening doors, and trusting people. That’s a lot of things to remember. It’s like running a nonprofit all over. Except that actors could totally be bribed with snacks and I’m less certain about engineers.

9) ADHD just makes all sense of time and space go to shit, and my brain goes “you’ve been at this 2 weeks” and “it’s been 84 years” at the same time.

It’s going fine. It really is. Maybe even good. But it’s *weird*.

[allsassnoclass]

I’ll be sad without you (I want you to have it all)

Pairing: Michael Clifford/Ashton Irwin

Rating: Teen and Up (for one instance of swearing lol)

Key Tags: college AU, graduation, bittersweet

Word Count: 3,373

part of the mashton college au

Read on AO3

Ashton graduates college.  Michael tries to be happy for him.

The night before he graduates, Michael gets Ashton all to himself.

The week leading up to commencement has been filled with the end of finals, Michael working or sitting around twiddling his thumbs, and everyone that Ashton has ever met at college scrambling to see him one last time before he graduates and is off to bigger and better things.  Everyone has suddenly realized what Michael has been trying to forget for the entire semester: Ashton is about to leave and they might never see him again.

Michael knows that he’s being a bit dramatic.  They’re dating, so of course Michael will see Ashton again.  He only lives two and a half hours away from campus, so he can come down and visit next year while Michael is still taking classes or Michael can take a break and swing by to see him, although staying overnight would mean that he has to stay with all of the Irwins since Ashton is going to live at home until Michael graduates and can move in with him.  He has a job as a grant writer for a nonprofit in the next town over and figured he’d save up rather than live by himself, and with how much he missed his family this semester Michael thinks that’s a good idea.

Michael has spent a lot of nights this week in Ashton’s dorm or dragging Ashton back to his apartment to get as much time with him as possible.  It’s even lonelier now that Calum has gone back home to visit before heading off to an internship in St. Louis for the summer, the space far too quiet when he’s the only one home.  Michael is staying on campus this time.  He’s one of the main employees at the campus recording studio now and he got a job at the one of the town grocery stores restocking overnight, and since he’s paying for the apartment through next year he might as well make use of it.  It means he’s a little further away from Ashton than he would be if he was home, but that’s fine.  They can make it work.  He keeps telling himself that things could be so much worse, but it doesn’t make him feel better.

“Hey,” Ashton says, breaking him out of his thoughts with a gentle knuckle against Michael’s cheek.  They turned the lights off a while ago since Ashton needs to be up early, but neither of them are that tired.  They’ve simply been laying together, Michael’s head tucked into the crook of Ashton’s elbow, hands resting between them.

“What are you thinking about?” Ashton asks.  Michael sighs.  He knows that this is supposed to be a happy occasion, especially since Ashton fought so hard to make it to college and is managing to graduate with so many accolades, but the truth is that he’s really fucking sad.

“Next year,” he says.  “I’ve never known college without you.  I don’t know how to do it by myself.”

“Hey, you won’t be by yourself,” Ashton says gently.  “You’ve got Calum and Luke still.”

“You know what I mean.”

Ashton hums.  There isn’t anything for him to say here and they both know it.  Michael has spent the entire week pretending to be excited for Ashton, something that he’ll have to do again tomorrow morning, but the facade is breaking and trying to fix it now is only going to make things worse later.  He smiled while Ashton was seeing all of his other friends for the last time, he smiled when Ashton finished his last final ever and returned his books for the last time, and he smiled while he was helping Ashton pack up his dorm room for the last time, working quietly because Ashton needed a moment to process that this was actually happening.  He’s usually the problem-solver of them, always beginning whatever tasks need to be done while Michael gets overwhelmed and freezes, but packing had been a stumbling-block.  It was the only instance this week that has made Michael think that Ashton could feel bittersweet about graduating, too.

“I’ll be happier tomorrow, I promise,” Michael says.  “I’m just going to miss you.”

Ashton pulls him closer, pressing a tender kiss to his cheek and then rearranging them so they’re tangled together fully.  Michael wishes he could sink into Ashton and stay with him after tomorrow, continuing their life without any distance between them.  Ashton takes a deep breath, chest rising and falling under Michael.

“I’m not going to propose to you tomorrow, because I think graduation proposals are overdone and cliche and we are not confined to any timeline, but it’s me and you forever, yeah?  It’s always going to be me and you.  A year is nothing compared to the rest of our lives.”

Michael nods.  He takes a deep breath, too, because he promised himself not to cry in front of Ashton.  He doesn’t speak until the tears stop prickling the corners of his eyes.

“I know.  I’m still going to miss you, though.”

Ashton doesn’t say anything else, just pulls him impossibly closer and presses another kiss to the side of his head.  Michael tries to push everything inside him down, tries not to ruin the last night he and Ashton will have together for a while, but he’s not sure how successful he is.

-/-

Ashton’s alarm goes off at 6:45, which Michael thinks should be illegal.

“Why are you graduating so early,” he groans as Ashton reaches over him to turn the alarm off.  Ashton huffs a laugh, making Michael crack an eye open to catch a glimpse of him in the morning light.  He’s breathtaking even though he has pillow creases on his face and half of his hair is flattened against the side of his head.  Michael is going to miss him so much it hurts.

“Stay in bed a bit,” he says, wrapping his arms around him again and pressing his face into his chest.  “You can afford a few minutes.”

“Oh yeah?” Ashton asks.  “What’s in it for me?”  Michael cracks an eye open at him again, then kisses the teasing look off his face.  Ashton laughs into it, but soon he’s kissing back just as thoroughly, like he’s trying to memorize Michael in the same way Michael is trying to memorize him.  He should have been paying more attention every other time they kissed.  He’s had the feel of Ashton’s skin under his hands and the smell of him ingrained into his memory for a long time, but he’s still scared that as soon as Ashton accepts his diploma Michael will suddenly forget everything.

Ashton pushes Michael onto his back and swings a leg over his hips.  Michael wants to memorize this, too.  He wants to freeze this moment, capture Ashton’s weight on top of him and the way he grips Michael’s hands and pins them against the covers, fingers interlocked, holding on just as tightly as Michael is.  When Ashton eventually leans back Michael feels a piece of his heart break.

“I have to get ready,” he says, a small smile gracing his features.  Michael tries to mirror some of his joy.  He can be sad after Ashton has left with his family.

“Five more minutes?” he asks, but they both know that he’s already lost the battle.  Ashton leans down and kisses Michael once more, sweet and chaste, then gets up and heads to the bathroom to shower.  Michael lays in bed for a few more minutes staring at the ceiling, then makes himself get up and start preparing toast.

Ashton eventually exits the bathroom in dress pants and a dress shirt with the top few buttons undone.  For a split second Michael can see a future like this, Ashton prepared to go to his dream job at a publishing company and Michael running late for whatever he ends up doing with his music business degree.  He can see a  million mornings of burning Ashton’s toast but getting his coffee perfect and Ashton smiling at him and kissing his cheek and saying thanks in that sweetly sincere way he always does when Michael does something completely ordinary for him, as if he’s still surprised that people are willing to do small favors even though the only thing Michael wants to do with his life is take care of him.

“I love you,” Michael says.  Ashton pauses with his toast halfway to his mouth.  He beams and Michael feels a little bit better about everything.

“I love you, too.  Come eat breakfast with me.”

Breakfast goes by in a blur.  Before Michael can blink they’re piling into Ashton’s car and driving to the soccer field where graduation will take place.  Each college at the university has an outdoor, in person commencement  to allow for proper social distancing, and Ashton drew the short straw by being in the college of Libral Arts and Sciences and having to line up at 8:00.  He got four tickets for family and friends, so Michael gets to wait for Anne Marie, Lauren, and Harry to show up and then join them to watch.  Then they’re going to officially move Ashton out of his dorm room, go to lunch together, and Michael will have to say goodbye to the love of his life.

They follow directions for parking and join other groups of grads and loved ones waiting outside the field.  Ashton grabs his robe, cap, and cords from the back seat and Michael holds things for him while he puts them all on.

He has a gold Summa Cum Laude stole, a medal from the honors program, a cord from reslife, and a cord for being a first generation student.  Michael helps adjust everything so it’s laying flat and even, although the ceremony isn’t for another hour and there’s more than enough opportunity for it to get messed up again.  Ashton lets him fret anyway, then puts his cap on and straightens the tassel to complete the look.  Michael feels emotion well up in him again, but it’s not sadness this time.  Looking at Ashton fully decked out and glowing with happiness, he thinks the feeling might be pride.

“Okay, I need to go get lined up,” Ashton says.  He puts on a mask and pats his pockets for his phone and wallet.  Michael hugs him before he goes.

“I’m proud of you,” he murmurs.  “Have fun. We’ll find you after.”  Ashton squeezes him, then sets off towards the tent where the graduates are gathering with a wave behind him.  Michael watches him leave until he steps under the tent and gets lost in the crowd of other black-robed students.

He’s going to miss him.

Michael heads towards the entrance of the field and finds a corner to mess around on his phone and try not to think about it.  Scrolling through social media posts of his other friends graduating or commenting on the end of the school year doesn’t exactly help, but Candy Crush is engaging enough that he can turn his mind off.

“Michael!”

Michael jumps about five feet in the air at the loud voice right next to him.

“Holy fu-- don’t do that Harry!” he says while the kid laughs.  Anne Marie and Lauren reach them at that time, both of them smiling in amusement.  Michael blushes and gives Harry a noogie in retaliation, then gives Lauren a fist bump and hugs Anne Marie.

“It’s so good to see you, Michael,” Anne Marie says.  She hugs the same way that Ashton does, arms wrapped securely around him and holding him tight.

“It’s good to see you, too.”

Anne Marie has the tickets on her phone and presents them to get them in the field.  An unfamiliar professor leads them to their section, and the Irwins keep a constant stream of conversation with him, catching him up on their lives this semester and asking about his.  He doesn’t have time to get stuck in his head about Ashton leaving before a recording of “Pomp and Circumstance” starts playing and the graduates begin filing onto the field to take their seats in the middle.  Michael sees Ashton the moment he enters.  He taps Harry’s arm and points him out and they all watch him walk down the aisle and take his seat on the field.  He’s on the opposite side from them, but when he walks across the stage he’ll be facing them.  At least Michael won’t have to watch him walk away.

The president of the university says a few words, they sing the anthem, then more stuffy old men say more words.  Everyone keeps it brief and it goes by quickly, but Michael still zones out for most of it.  The student speaker is fine, but Harry shoots him a look for jiggling his leg partway through even though he’s been sneakily playing games on his phone instead of listening.

When they start reading the names Michael waits with bated breath.  He recognizes a few names of Ashton’s friends or classmates that he’s talked about before, but the vast majority of the students are complete strangers until the reader announces Ashton Fletcher Irwin!

All of them cheer obnoxiously.  Ashton has his mask on, so they can’t see his smile, but Michael knows that it’s wide and bright.  He waves at them between nodding graciously at the dean and president.  Michael blows him a kiss.  He stops paying attention to people’s names after that, watching Ashton instead.  He keeps adjusting his mask or fiddling with his cords in between clapping for his classmates, restless now that he’s walked across the stage.  He doesn’t have a diploma to keep his hands occupied since they’re getting mailed out later, but since their ceremony is only one college instead of the entire university he’s not restless for long.  Michael thinks he can hear his cheer at the end of the ceremony even from halfway across the field.  They have to wait for the ushers to dismiss them before they can find him outside, and it’s the longest wait of Michael’s life.

“Mom, are you crying?” Lauren asks.  Michael looks over and sees Anne Marie gently catching tears under her eyes.

“I’m so happy,” she sniffs.  “Don’t worry, baby.  I’ll cry at your graduation, too.”  Lauren makes a face but grabs her mom’s purse and gets a tissue out for her.  Michael feels like he shouldn’t be seeing his boyfriend’s mother cry, so he looks at his hands.  Ashton painted his nails black earlier in the week while quizzing him on music theory and the paint is chipping now.  He doesn’t want to pick at it.  He wants to keep as many physical reminders of Ashton with him for as long as possible.

Harry sighs and turns to him.

“At least you’re not crying.”

Michael doesn’t want to tell him that he probably will as soon as he has to go back to an empty apartment.  He shrugs.

“Crying at graduation is a mom thing,” he says.  Harry accepts the answer and goes back to his phone.  Michael checks his own and finds a text from Calum asking how he’s holding up.  He’s a good friend, and he partially understands what Michael is going through since Roy graduated with his masters this semester, but the difference is that Roy is staying in the area.  Michael has to do long distance for a year.  There will be no more late-night ice cream runs or eating lunch together or sitting Ashton’s security shifts with him.  Michael is going to be sleeping alone for a long time.

He tells Calum that he’s doing fine.  It’s a placeholder answer until Ashton officially leaves and he has time to sort through the tangle of emotions knotting themselves in his gut, and Calum will understand that.

The usher tells them they can go now, so Michael follows the family out of the field and to the concrete area before the parking lot where all of the graduates have gathered.  A lot of them have taken off their masks for pictures, and Michael feels his anxiety spike despite him, Ashton, and Anne Marie being fully vaccinated.  It gets worse the longer he looks for Ashton without finding him.  He wishes that Ashton had decorated his cap to make him easier to spot, but he hadn’t thought of it until the last second and didn’t know what to put.

“There he is!  Ashton!”  Anne Marie leads them over to him, immediately wrapping Ashton in a hug as soon as he turns around and sees her.  Michael hangs back and watches him laugh and smile with his family, then darts in for his own hug as soon as Ashton motions him forward.

“Hi,” he says.  “Congratulations.”

“Thanks,” Ashton replies, turning to kiss his cheek before he remembers that they’re both wearing masks.  It makes him giggle, which makes Michael giggle.

He’s really, really going to miss him.

“Say cheese!” Anne Marie says, snapping a picture of them on her phone.  Michael swaps out and takes the camera then, getting pictures of Ashton with his family and other graduating friends that they find.  Ashton is beaming in all of the pictures, happiness oozing out of him with every hug gifted to his classmates and every word exchanged.  His laugh sounds lighter, like walking across that stage lifted a weight from his shoulders.

Michael is going to miss him, but it’s harder to remember that when Ashton is glowing.  And that’s what love is, right?  Wanting what’s best for another person even if it doesn’t make you happy in the moment?  Michael may be terrified and out of his depth when he thinks about his own graduation next year, but Ashton clearly isn’t.  Ashton has been waiting for this for a long time, and Michael can be happy for him.

When they split up to go back to campus for pictures Ashton stops him before they get into his car.

“This isn’t a proposal,” he says, digging around in his pockets.

“Yeah.  Those are cliche and we’re not confined to a timeline,” Michael repeats, frowning.  Ashton finally finds what he’s looking for with a little noise of triumph.  When he opens his hand a stainless steel ring is in his palm.

“It’s a promise ring,” Ashton says at Michael’s sharp inhale.  “I know you’ve been upset about graduation.”

“No, Ash--”

“It’s okay,” Ashton interrupts.  “You don’t have to pretend.  I’m really going to miss you, too.”

Michael looks down at the ring.  It’s simple and understated, but it’s beautiful.  He wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I was thinking that having this might help you miss me a little less,” Ashton says.  “We’re a sure thing, and now you have a little piece from me to remind you of that.”

“Oh,” Michael says quietly.  He looks down at his hands again, then up at Ashton.  “I don’t know what finger a promise ring goes on.”  Ashton laughs.

“I don’t really know, either.  You can do ring finger, or one of your middle fingers, or the fourth finger on the other side.  There’s not a rule for it.”

“You choose,” Michael says, spreading his fingers so Ashton can slip the ring on any of them.  Ashton considers for a moment, turning the ring over in his hand, then puts it on Michael’s ring finger.  Michael’s heart leaps into his throat at the new weight.  He runs his thumb against it, metal warm from being in Ashton’s pocket.

“I love it,” he says.  “I love you.”  He takes off his mask and gently unhooks Ashton’s from behind his ears, revealing his smile.  He cups Ashton’s jaw and leans forward, Ashton meeting him in the middle sweetly.  When they pull away, Ashton’s eyes are watery.

“Hey, what are you crying for?” Michael asks gently.  Ashton laughs at himself, looking up and blinking a few times until he’s forced the tears back.

“I’m happy.  I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy before.”

For the first time all day, Michael can mirror his smile fully.  He’s going to miss him like crazy, but Ashton is wildly, sincerely happy, and that’s all that Michael needs.

“I’m happy, too.”

[tired-college-student-writing]

Tim’s Secret Weapon Pt. 5

I’ve been slightly obsessed with @ozmav​ ‘s Damian Wayne/Marinette Dupain-Cheng pairing as of late, and just saw a post that has inspired me more than anything else has in months, so I felt the need to write it

Summary- Tim has always seen the numbers floating above people’s heads, been able to perceive their threat levels with a single glance. After being a hero for so long he thought he was desensitized to seeing high numbers above people’s heads until Damian brings a new friend home. Part 1 Part 4 Part 5 (HERE) Part 6 _______________________________________________________________________ Dick got a look on his face. 

A pinched sort of look that made it look like he was thinking something over intently.

It was a look that filled all of the Bats and anyone that knew him from his Robin days with a sense of dread.

“Dick…” Jason drew out slightly, “What are you thinking?” 

“I’m going to do a thing,” He replied almost offhandedly, “Since she hasn’t seen us yet.” 

“Don’t-” Damian didn’t even finish since Dick had already disappeared, causing Tim to bury his head in his hands. 

“God that’s annoying,” The other three found themselves groaning in unison, their own inside joke even as found his path almost instantly.

The eldest son snuck through the crowd of teens unnoticed, surprisingly. Most would think that one would notice the thirty-year-old right outside the secondary school, but he easily weaved through the crowds and worked his way behind the baker’s daughter. 

Marinette was too involved in his conversation with the blond to notice Dick grinning mischievously at her from behind the half wall she was leaning against. 

In a swift move, the acrobat grabbed her and lifted her onto his left shoulder in one fell swoop, earning a high pitched squeal from the girl as he spun in a circle perched on the half wall and drawing almost all of the attention of the whole courtyard.

“Hello, Mari!” He greeted casually as if her hands weren’t twisted into his hair in her shock. 

She blinked down at him, taking a few seconds to register what was happening before her face morphed into fond irritation, “Seriously, Richard?” 

The blond, Neon Green 15, she had been talking to was staring in between them as if he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be concerned or bemused. 

“Ummmm… What’s going on?” the buff boy, White 12, from nearby asked, hand raised slightly. 

Marinette glanced around and groaned as she realized that her entire class was staring at her up on top of Dick’s shoulders. 

“Everyone, this is Dick” Marinette introduced, “He’s a family friend of sorts. Dick these are my classmates.” 

“Nice to meet you,” Dick greeted waving a hand happily with Marinette still balance on one shoulder. 

“Should have known Mari was skanky enough to get with a guy twice our age.”  The Batfam stiffened and turned to look at the origin of the voice. It was the girl Tim pointed out earlier as being dangerous, Copper 9, a wide smirk on her face as her posse snickered. None of them had to turn to feel the bloodlust boiling off of Damian, not that they would deny the red tinge to their vision. Marinette had wilted in a millisecond. 

“Told you that was a bad idea, Grayson,” Damian snapped as the other three walked over much calmer than they were feeling. 

Marinette lit back up at their appearance and started poking Dick’s cheek.

“Put me down. Put me down. Put me down. Put me down. Put me down.” 

“Okay, Okay!” He laughed as he lifted her off his shoulder and passed him easily to Jason. 

Jason grinned, holding her on his hip, “Hey Marigold,” 

“Jay!” She giggled giving him a hug, “Not the brother I wanted, and don’t hand me to Tim cause he looks like he hasn’t slept this week and I don’t want to be dropped.” 

Jason clutched his chest, “That’s so mean, sunshine! Though you’re right about Tim.”    

“Rude,” Tim grumbled, but couldn’t stop the grin that came to his face, “but hug the devil spawn before he tries to rip our arms off.” 

Damian glared at him, but as soon as  Marinette wrapped her arms around his neck he softened, placing a kiss on her hair, “Missed you, Habibiti,” 

“Missed you too, Dames,” She giggled, excitement bubbling, "What are you guys even doing here? I know you don't like to travel too much." 

Jason cut in, "Bruce was inspecting the Paris branch, so we just decided to tag along." 

"Oh, Bruce is here too? I'll have to make some of those strawberry cream macaroons he likes."  

“Brothers? Wow, that’s a new low,” 

“Who the fuck are you?” Jason finally snapped, glancing over at Copper 9. 

“Who are you?” one of the other girls standing with her, an obnoxious orange 5 twisting over her, asked, phone pointed at them,  “Cause showing up to a high school isn’t exactly a good look for post-college graduates, mister.” 

“Well going from oldest to youngest, He’s Dick, as Mari already said, I’m Jason, that’s Tim, and the twerp that’s snuggling up to Marigold is Damian, her boyfriend.”  

“We’re brothers,” Dick added, as the group around the two girls looked stunned while many of the others perked up. 

“This the guy you’ve been telling us about huh?” The tiny pink-haired girl, Icy Blue 13, comments, giving Damian a considering look. 

Buff White 12,  next to her smirked at them, “You do go for the lookers, huh, Nette?” 

A red-haired boy, a lavender 4, laughed softly, “I thought he’d be taller,”

“Since when do you have a boyfriend?!” Orange 5 yelped, causing Mari to roll her eyes as she finally pulled away from the youngest Wayne. 

“I’ve been telling you, Alya,” Marinette snapped making the boys blink. There was actual venom in her voice, ice pointily aimed at the other teen. Marinette never had real heat in her words, not even with the Rogues, “I started dating him a year ago, but you didn’t believe me.” 

“Two soon,” Damian piped in, looking smug at the flabbergasted group. 

“But you’re into Adrian!” 

The blond boy, Adrian, Neon Green 15, frowned, “She and I are just friends. She’s been trying to get me with my crush for the last six months? Why on earth would you think she had a crush on me?” 

Marinette shrugged, “I mean I did, but I got over it around your fourteenth birthday.” 

“Wait,” the boy got a look of realization on his face, “Is that why you always stuttered around me?!” 

“Oh my god!” Icy Blue 13 cried, “You can’t tell me you’re seriously that dense!” 

“Homeschooled Alix!” He snapped back, “I was homeschooled by a recluse!” 

“But if she’s not in love with Adrian,” The pixie cut blonde, Buttercup Yellow 3, questioned trembling slightly, “ Why has she been so mean to Lila?” 

“Perhaps,” the nerdy boy, Nerdy White 12, pushing up his glasses, “Marinette’s feeling towards Lila has something to do with the fact that Lila’s claim of having a disease that causes her to do or say things she does not mean to can only be labeled as Compulsive Lying and yet half of the class believes every story that she tells and gets upset at anyone that dares to question her.” 

“Shut it, Max,” Alya growled, “This has nothing to-” 

“Utterly ridiculous,” The blonde girl, Canary Yellow 14 over her head, cut in without looking up from her phone, “You can’t seriously tell me this has nothing to do with Dupain-Cheng questioning Rossi’s idiotic stories.”

“No one cares about your opinion, Chloe,” Lila purred with an ugly scowl, “Or is it Chealse? I can’t keep up since your mother never seems to get it right.” 

“Yeah, no,” Chloe continued, “That insult is like a year and a half too late, and I don’t have to do anything but ask questions.” 

“What are you playing at, Bourgeois?” 

Chloe looked up from her phone, eyes going to the group surrounding Lila, “At lunch, Lila was talking about her new boyfriend, right? Who feels like reminding everyone of who that was?” 

The ginger girl, Tan 4, piped up, “She’s been dating Damian Wayne for the last month! They met at a conference for her nonprofit in Achu.”  

Tim couldn’t stop the snort that escaped from him as Damian’s face twisted into disgust. Marinette’s hand covered her mouth to cover her smile but Dick and Jason didn’t even try to stop their laughter from shaking their frames. 

“Of all the fucking people!” Jason wheezed, “You pick him!” 

“Hey! Don’t laugh it’s romantic!” Canary Yellow 3 cried, tears pricking her eyes. 

“Isn’t it Rose?” Lila cooed, eyes narrowed at the laughing group, “Dami-bear is such a sweet man.” 

Chloe hummed, eyes sparkling, “I bet he is, but I have another question.” 

“What?” 

Instead of answering Alya’s question, she turned to the group that was laughing even harder, Dick and Jason were only standing from clutching to each other as they repeated, ‘Dami-bear’ over and over again. 

“Do you boys happen to still have your passports on you?” 

Tim held up a single finger as he tried desperately to regain his breath. 

“What are you playing at, Chloe?” Alya snapped after a tense moment. 

“Her point,” Damian growled, and suddenly Tim had a giggling Marinette leaning against his shoulder as the younger man stalked over “Is that I’ve never been to Achu.” 

He thrust his passport into her camera lens. 

Damian Wayne standing out from the page in stark clarity. 

"Oh that note," Tim piped in, smirking slightly as he watched her nine wavier in place as if ready to flick down. Oh, how her tower of lies was crumbling, "using the Wayne to further yourself or claiming that one of us is cheating on anyone can be considered Defamation so I would suggest that you retract any statements you've made before we're forced to talk to our lawyers." 

They didn't stick around to see the effect the pronouncement beyond the sickly color Lila turned as her whole posse turned to stare at her in disbelief. Alya looked panicked as the boys grabbed Marinette, who was practically vibrating with nervous energy and herded her towards their car. 

Alfred raised an eyebrow, "Did you enjoy yourselves, sirs?"  

"You know it!" Dick laughed, as they snapped their seatbelts. 

"I hope they didn't cause too much trouble, Miss. Marinette." 

"Hello Alfred," She greeted lightly even as her shoulders pulled up next to her ear, "It's nice to see you, and don't worry, they fixed a problem for me."

Tim wanted to ask, and he could see his brothers did as well, but Marinette shook her head. 

"Can we go to where you're staying? I think my classmates are going to break out of their stupor soon and I don't want to face them yet." 

Alfred's eyes were hard in the rearview mirror, but his voice was as level as ever, "Of course, Miss Marinette. Master Bruce actually would like to meet you at the hotel we're staying at." 

"Let's not keep him waiting then,”

______________________________________________________________________ 

Telling Marinette they knew she was Ladybug could have gone in a lot of different ways, they were aware of this, and had planned for a multitude of them to try and ensure an easier time of getting the girl used to the fact that they knew and were in fact Superheros too. 

What they weren’t expecting was for Marinette to pale the second Damian spoke the words, “We know you’re Ladybug,” and flip the platter of sweets into his face, effectively cutting him off before sprinting to the window screaming, “Spots on!” 

They were not expecting a bright pink light to overtake her, nearly blinding them. 

Tim was not counting on the fact that he could see her number through the blinding light as it faded to pure white as the numbers climbed higher and higher, vanishing once they reached 99, the light fading in the next millisecond to reveal Ladybug in all her glory. 

They were not expecting her to open the 80th-floor window of their hotel suite and throw herself out of it, yo-yo catching the next building and flinging her away faster than humanly possible. 

“Well,” Jason drawled, eyeing the carnage, “That went well.”

_______________________________________________________________________

Taglist: @vixen-uchiha @iggy-of-fans @mewwitch @roseinbloom02 @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @mochinek0 @royalchaoticfangirl @09shell-sea09 @mystery-5-5 @derpingrainbow @aloha-posts-stuff @hauntedfreakdeputyhero @maribat-archive @blue-peach14 @kae690 @zazzlejazzle @vincentvangoose @be-happy-every-day-please @xxmadamjinxx @celestiacq @peculiarlylostdreamer @dani-ari @melicmusicmagic @themcclan @nyctamaximoff @nataladriana9 @drama-queen-supreme @miraculousbelladonna @urbanpineapplefarmer @graduatedmelon @lexysama @hecate-hallow @ki117h3dr4g0n @vinerlover @interobanginyourmom @bluefiredemon @imanerddealwith @tinybrie @clumsy-owl-4178 @shizukiryuu @whogavemeaninternet @schrodingers25 @lunar-wolf-warrior @urbanpineapplefarmer @xxmadamjinxx @crazylittlemunchkin @littleredrobinhoodlum​ @rougemme​ @dur55​ @phantommeow12 @kand-roo​ @silvergold-swirl​ @officiallyathiana​ @completelypeccable​ @redhoodsdoll​ @nataladriana9​ @mariae2900​ @northernbluetongue​ 

[justabirdy]

Hello, i haven't following for too long but your tags on your job interviews got me curious: would you be willing to talk a little more about your professional experiences ? I know so little about your field and learning more is always a pleasure :-) (obviously it's fine if you don't want to)

I’d be happy to talk a bit more about it though I’m not sure what specifics would be interesting. Professionally I’ve been a bit of a generalist. Basically I tend to track down skills or information and learn it so my professional and educational experience is pretty broad. I’ll just list some of it out, though I’m leaving out company names for privacy sake. If you want to know more about the work or education, feel free to reply or ask!

Professional Experience (Oldest to Newest)

I started out in food service like many people do, but only did that for about a year. (Fun facts - There were no fun facts)

I worked as a rain water drainage monitor, basically raking leaves out of water all night. (Fun facts - I watched more movies in those months than any other point in my life)

Worked with a local charity and drove a box truck to collect donated goods. (Fun facts - I’ve moved a claw footed bathtub out of a second story apartment on my own and had to clear the appliances out of an entire condemned apartment complex alone.)

Interned in a wildlife rehabilitation center (Fun Facts - This was my introduction to working with raptors and would push me to get my falconry license)

Volunteered with a wildlife educational program (fun Facts - The director and I are still close friends, this work got me over an intense fear of public speaking, and it opened my interest in teaching about nature)

Worked as a tech intern for a couple years (Fun Facts - I learned to run cat5 cable, manage stage productions, and professional lighting equipment)

Worked as a Field Technician for a security company (Fun Facts - I drove all over Texas for this one)

Started a Wildlife Education Nonprofit (Fun Facts - ran this business of 6 years, reached over 100,000 people, but I still felt guilty putting it on my resume for a long time because it was self employment)

Operated as a Routing Specialist with a school district transportation department (Fun Facts - gained my CDL, drove lots of buses, learned how to manage hordes of students and parents, only got an interview because they misread my resume)

Designed an Ecology Based Board Game and Publisher (Fun Facts - I still have a copy of the game, we couldn't raise enough money to print it, I learned a lot about graphic design, marketing, and business partnerships)

Operated as an Interpretive Program Specialist in Grand Teton National Park (Fun Facts - fell in love with this field of work, love the ecosystems up there, learned a lot about managing and planning yearly interpretive plans)

Operated as an Interpretive Tour Guide in Grand Teton and Yellowstone National Parks (Fun Facts - spent a lot of time guiding people away from doing stupid things)

Social Media Producer for Graduate Program (Fun Facts - getting a lot of practice with photo and video production on this one!)

Field Instructor (Fun Facts - managing kids safely in outdoor spaces during a pandemic and in sub freezing temperatures has been a wild experience)

But yeah thats my professional experience but it doesn’t include my educational experience or certifications that I’ve gathered along the way. Its honestly wild looking back and writing down each experience! If you want to know more, feel free to ask!

[chasingshhadows]

so I haven’t used this blog regularly for like, personal updates in many years, but I’m feeling energized atm.

So as some of you might have seen, I’ve been fostering kittens throughout the pandemic because I’m working from home indefinitely (bless having an international and science-based employer). They are fucking adorable and a lot of work but so worth it. I was having a super shitty day Wednesday and I just went and sat on the floor of my living room with them for like an hour. They’re 6 weeks old right now and an absolute joy 🥰 (If you wanna see pics/videos, I post all my kitty-related stuff to @chasingkittehs on Insta).

I’m still working and have been lucky enough to not only stay employed during this time, but elevate myself at work. I recently discovered that my division plans to promote me by the end of the year without my having asked for it, which is so fucking validating. I love this job and my team and the work we do - I work at a large international environmental and conservation nonprofit. It builds on my skills and knowledge from my previous work at fundraising vendors so I actually contribute to strategy and our team direction. 

I met a great guy. Idk what compelled me to try dating during a global pandemic, but I’m glad I did bc this guy is pretty fucking great and is nerdy and progressive and his friends are all super cool. We have a great time and he’s been really supportive through everything going on. And he’s on Tumblr, bc all the best people are here 😉 @slytherinlord223 (feel free to judge the url, I did 😜 tho it should be stated he’s had the account and url since he was 16 and what cishet white guy didn’t think himself a lord at 16?)

After a very long process and a lot of stress, I was able to get assessed and diagnosed with ADHD. Tbh, I have Tumblr and @redbirdblogs and @irolltwenties to thank for opening my eyes to the possibility. I’ve been seeing adhd-experience posts for years and always have this moment of “wow that’s me - oh wait, that’s for adhd, nevermind”. And over the last year I started reading those posts through new eyes and started seeing myself in them. The report was 15 pages of very thorough testing and qualitative analysis and I’m still processing it all, but it’s just... so fucking validating. I’ve spent years wondering why I can’t just do things and why my spaces are always a mess because I was taught that women are housekeepers and why I can never finish anything or just fucking focus and I’d been convinced I was just stupid and lazy and dysfunctional and gahhh this just. It’s not my fault. I was working at a deficit I didn’t know existed for 28 years and now that I actually understand how my brain works, I can start to adapt and work with my brain instead of against it. And now I can go back to my psychiatrist with verified clinical results to get the treatment I need. So. *deep breath* I feel really good right now. 

I haven’t been as engaged/active in fandom the last several months due to the fostering and my guy and just the overall stress of the pandemic leaving me pretty unmotivated to do anything but sit and watch TV. But I’ve been obsessing over Hamilton and The Old Guard of late, I’m still utterly in love with RNM and Teen Wolf, and now I’ve been diving into the world of Critical Role (it’s nice to finally get all the references here haha). I’m absorbing a lot of content across the board and would always love to talk about anything, just haven’t been spending as much time on my laptop for fic writing and giffing. I’ll be back tho - I always am 😘💜

So anyway. I love you all. I miss my mutuals and I hope everyone is doing well and thriving and can’t wait to catch up on everyone’s creations and flails. And I adore every name that pops up in my activity feed and seeing some of my old posts pop up lately has been really sweet 😊

[lazy-universes]

how long does lawyer school take in brazil, or i mean how does it work?

hmmm so the first thing is that brazilian universities don’t have like, an undergrad + grad school with a minor and a major. when you apply to university you apply to a graduate degree (graduação) and if you feel like it you can go for a post-graduate degree (pós-graduação). but you only apply for a major, so when you apply you apply directly to a school. 

does that mean that you’ll have to choose what to do with your life when you’re 17/18? yes

does that end well? almost never, but i digress 

some degrees take 4, 5 or 6 years to complete. law takes 5 years, medicine 6, but the majority of other degrees will take 4 or 4.5 years of education. 

speaking specifically of law school, you do 5 years of college, and the first 2 are like “basic” cycles - anthropology of law, sociology of law, philosophy of law, general law theory, introduction to legal sciences, private law theory, constitutional theory, etc etc. by year 3 you start with the specifics - constitutional law, international law, administrative law, company law, tax law, etc etc. in brazil you can’t pick and choose, so you’ll study every branch of law available in your university 

(and still end up not knowing the ones you need the most bc they weren’t “important” enough to be offered as required subjects and honestly you were just too tired for electives) 

a thing that is very important to know is that law students in brazil have to do internships. but these aren’t like, summer internships or whatever - it’s legit a part-time paralegal job, be it in a law firm or a judge’s office or whenever they need a law student as an intern. you do pretty much the same job as an attorney, get paid less, and get yelled at a whole lot 

(i’d like to add that i don’t yell at my interns at all and they like me so much they make memes out of my facial expressions in meetings so my interns are treated super well - because i wasn’t treated that well as an intern and i’m all for breaking the cycle of abuse) 

while students can get internships in their first semester of law school, most offices will only hire students from 5th semester on. in my case, i spent two years doing research and extension, something that i’ve only seen in public brazilian universities that you basically create a nonprofit inside the university to give back to the community. i’ve been a part of my nonprofit for seven years now? we offer legal support for lgbtq+ and women who have been victims of violence and also work for representatives/public figures in creating lgbtq+/women inclusive public policies. 

once you start in an internship, however, a regular day goes more or less like this: classes start at 7:30AM (yes) and end around 11AM. you have an hour or two for lunch, and internships start from 12AM to 1PM and end from 6PM to 7PM. go home, rinse and repeat. It’s exausting, but once you get the hang of it, the pay usually makes up for it - law students generally get some good pay for internships, so i’ve been more or less financially independent from my parents since i’ve been 19 only with internship money. 

to graduate you have to write a BA thesis. The standards are very fucking low, but people who want a career in academics usually make an effort - my thesis was about the feminization of poverty and the regressivity of brazilian tax law. if you completed the thesis and have enough internship hours, plus some extracurricular activities, you’re clear to graduate. 

as in the US, brazil has a bar exam. unlike the US, a bar approval in a state clears you for legal practice all over the country. the bar exam is fairly straightfoward - a multiple choice test of all legal areas, and if you pass that you take a area-specific essay-type test. while i studied my ass off, i didn’t think the bar was that hard. i did constitutional law because that what i work with, and i got an 8.5 out of 10 or what not. however, since brazil has a HUGE amount of law graduates (honest to god like more than a million at least), and the private schools aren’t that good as a general rule of thumb, 90% of people don’t pass the bar. 

i am extremely privileged in the sense that i’ve attended the best law school in the country, so i was able to get some outstanding education and get a good network of professional contacts. this means i got hired straight out of school by a good firm that pays me well enough. this is not the reality of the majority of people who go for law in brazil. unfortunately, it really boils down to who you know, the people you’re able to connect with, and where you attended law school. 

that being said, my college was an absolute madhouse and the stories i have from my time there (still going on since i’m halfway through my masters) are sure to make you wonder how come people who graduate there are even allowed to practice 

at all 

[shuheather]

50 questions

tagged by: @azfool ty these are fun !!

1. What is the color of your hair brush? I use a thick toothed comb these days and it is black

2. Name a food you never eat? Beef

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? Lately I’ve been too cold like every day but my heat tolerance is miserable

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Probably checking my work slack

5. Whats your favorite candy bar? Twix all the way bb

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? Yes, mostly baseball (at least Cubs, Indians, Orioles, and Red Sox but maybe more), I’ve been to some indoor football games if that counts? Also do you consider yoyoing a professional sport because I’ve been to a million yoyo competitions because of my brother

7. What was the last thing you said out loud? Something in response to one of my brothers about a video game probably

8. What is your favorite ice cream? Chocolate Chip Cheesecake from J. P. Licks (if they ever bring it back I WILL go great lengths to get some) but of the attainable variety honestly anything that has a good amount of chocolate, no fruit, and no nuts

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water from my water bottle

10. Do you like your wallet? Honestly not really I never use it, I just keep one of those pockets on the back of my phone for the three cards I need most at any given moment

11. What was the last thing you ate? I had a bowl of Frosted Flakes for breakfast

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? No but the weekend before I thrifted a flannel that I am very excited about

13. What was the last sporting event you watched? Stanley cup final

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? I could eat any sort of lightly salted popcorn for years on end but buttered is good too as long as it’s not too much. Movie theater popcorn makes my stomach upset though so no more of that

15. Who was the last person you sent a text to? Olivia

16. Ever go camping? Yes but not since I was a child

17. Do you take your vitamins? I don’t buy them on my own but when my mom tries to get me to eat gummy vitamins I say no

18. Do you regularly attend a place of worship? Whenever I’m outside I stop to look up at the treetops and the clouds a lot does that count

In all seriousness no my parents never cared about religion much so it’s not something I’ve ever been into

19. Do you have a tan? My Chaco tan from this summer is still going pretty strong but it is fading

20. Do you prefer Chinese or pizza? Chinese 100%

21. Do you drink soda through a straw? I don’t drink soda so undefined

22. What color socks do you usually wear? I always wear funny patterned socks that either I buy or other people buy for me. Common themes include cats, space, and food

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? Honestly yes but I try not to do more than 10 mph over

24. What terrifies you? The future of my country, that everyone I interact with secretly hates me, suffocation (but especially drowning)

25. Look to the left, what do you see? Phone, water bottle, pencil holder I sculpted in high school containing pens and honey sticks, my wall of art/letters/quotes/etc that makes me happy

26. What chore do you hate doing the most? Doing the dishes is hard sometimes

27. What do you think when you hear an Australian accent? I’m bad at separating out Australian accents from English/NZ/etc accents tbh so usually I’m just like ??? trying to figure out where they’re from

28. What’s your favorite soda? I don’t drink soda so undefined

29. Do you go in fast food places or just hit the drive thru? So I don’t eat a ton of fast food these days because their vegetarian options are often few or nonexistent however if I go to Taco Bell I always go in or order online because I do so many modifications that I would be embarassed to dictate it to a person and I would rather just input it on an order screen. Otherwise if I have my order together I’ll drive through as long as the line isn’t significantly longer than the line inside

30. What is your favorite number? I know it’s basic of me to pick my birthday number but 24 probably

31. Who’s the last person you talked to? like, out loud? My youngest brother

32. Favorite cut of beef? I don’t eat beef so undefined

33. Last song you listened too? I listen to music while I work a lot but it’s never music that I know because then my brain latches onto it, so I’m currently listening to Lucky Sue by Men I Trust on my discover weekly but the last song I knew was Just the Two of Us by Grover Washington and Bill Withers

34. Last book you read? I am currently in the middle of The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern and it is wonderful so far would recommend

35. Favorite day of the week? Saturday because I work 9-5 so it is the only day I am truly free rn

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? I just tried and my brain went “zyxcvbnm” so no

37. How do you like your coffee? I don’t drink coffee so undefined but as a loophole I will say cookies with coffee in them are REALLY good

38. Favorite pair of shoes? In the summer my chacos, right now my feiyues, in the winter my docs

39. Time you normally get up? I am currently working hard to maintain a sleep schedule so my alarm goes off at 9 but left unsupervised I will wake up any time between 9 and noon

40. Do you prefer sunrise or sunset? If I am seeing the sunrise it usually took some level of sleep deprivation to get there which is usually not good for me in any respect so sunset

41. Describe your kitchen plates? I’m living at home rn so we have a variety which includes my plastic Barbie plate which I think is actually older than me but also these plates that were supposed to be fancy dishware and my mom was like “if we don’t just use these they will sit in a box forever” so now they are our normal dishes

42. How many blankets on your bed? I sleep with a sheet (look I also used to be anti sheet but sleeping in a place with no AC changed me okay) and a comforter. In the winter I might add another blanket but I get warm when I sleep so extra blankets are usually not necessary

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment? There is such thing as having too many spice mixes

44. Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? I do not drink so no

45. Do you play cards? I used to a lot when I was a kid but now I mostly just play solitaire on my phone

46. What color is your car? I don’t have a car of my own but the car I share with my brother is maroon

47. Can you change a tire? I might need to follow instructions but with instructions I believe I could

48. Favorite state? I don’t think I have a favorite state but if we were doing some sort of mathematical analysis a large amount of my favorite places are currently in Massachusetts

49. Favorite job you’ve ever had? I think probably my current one which is Database/IT stuff for a racial equity nonprofit

50. Tagging: @alnasak because it’s just like the good old days