#but will I always choose to taunt him about it also yes

[jason-is-a-real-mood]

Soo we agree that every time Tav feels Harleep use her body it’s with Raphael ?

[beomiracles]

sex with a ghost ft yeonjun

─ dark lustful eyes pierce yours, "still think I'm not real, angel?", he taunts as he moves in and out of you slowly.

A/N ─ heh, hey :3 I've been working on this all evening but I sorta gave up on the proofreading part... it's 1am ok. My longest one part fic yet, coming in at 7.3k words exactly >_< I am DESPERATE to know your thoughts on it !!!!

pairings: ghost!taehyun x psychic!afab!reader warnings: major character death, slight descriptions of character death, ANGST, cheating???, eventual smut, fingering, oral (f rec), vaginal penetration, slight degradation but also praise, multiple love interests if you close your eyes squint and believe.

A screeching sound can be heard echoing through the quiet neighbourhood as your car comes to a stop. You really needed to invest in a new one soon.

Gathering your supplies, you step out to be faced with a large apartment complex. The neighbourhood was foreign to you, though the houses looked to be well maintained.

Climbing the stairs to the entrance you curse yourself for choosing heels today. The doorbell rings, once, twice, you're greeted by an elderly woman's voice through the small speaker. "Hello ma'am, it's y/l/n, from-"

"Oh! Yes of course I know where you're from, come on in!", the doors swing open and you make your way through the entrance. The elevator makes a noise as the doors open on the seventh floor and you walk out.

The elderly lady whose voice you'd heard on the speaker is already standing in the doorway, waving you over. As you reach her you bow, "miss, y/l/n y/n, ma'am". The woman smiles as she introduces herself as Mrs Kang.

Mrs Kang leads you through the small hallway into a spacious living room with a marvellous view of the city. "Tea, coffee?", she asks as she takes place behind the counter in the joint kitchen space. "Just water will do fine, anything else tends to mess with my work", you say as you sit down by the dining table.

Taking out a wax candle you place it in the centre of the table. Around it you lay various dried herbs, the whole thing is finished off with a ring of salt around it. Mrs Kang returns with two glasses of water as she places one in front of you. You thank her and take a sip.

As Mrs Kang takes a seat in front of you she eyes the candle. You bring out a box of matches, "before I start, would you mind telling me about your son?".

The woman nods as she clears her throat, "I...well he passed just two months ago", she says, fingers picking at her cuticles in an anxious manner. "May I ask how?", your voice is soft as you keep your gaze on her.

Mrs Kang swallows, "it was a car accident, he...it was his friend who was behind the wheel", she shakes her head, "my Taehyunnie, he wasn't...he wasn't irresponsible like that he...", tears fill her eyes as she continuously shakes her head.

You offer her a tissue to which she silently thanks you. Wiping her eyes with shaking hands before she finally meets your gaze again. "It's wrong", she states, "I should not have to bury my child...". She holds back a sob as she continues, "I should witness him fall in love, g-get married and...", a sob escapes her throat, "a-and start a family of his own".

"He was so young", she cries, burrowing her face in the tissue. You extend your hand to caress hers. "I know, and I am so incredibly sorry for your loss".

Despite doing this for a living you still felt rather stale in situations like these. It felt as if you were invading a very private and personal part of her life.

As Mrs Kang's breathing slowly returns to normal you try and shift the direction of the conversation. "Why don't you tell me about how Taehyun was?" you give your most kindhearted smile. "What did he enjoy, was he afraid of something, did he have any dreams?"

Mrs Kang smiles, "he wanted to become a singer". She scoffs as she leans back in her chair, "I always told him he would do good as a model, he was very beautiful you know", she says and you nod, "I'm sure he was".

Mrs Kang shakes her head, "but there was no changing his mind, music was his sole passion". "The hours he would spend cooped up in his room, writing his heart away".

So he liked music? "And what about friends? A girlfriend?" Mrs Kang is silent for a moment, "he didn't have many friends growing up", she admits, "he wasn't very social...", a troubled look presents itself on her face, "perhaps I could've done more I.."

"You did an amazing job raising him, I'm sure", you say as your hand gives hers a squeeze. Mrs Kang gives you a thankful smile, "he did find a few friends through music", she frowns, "but he never brought a girl home".

She shakes her head, "but what do I know? he moved out years ago... I just, could never bring myself to do anything with his room...he's my only baby". Her bottom lip quivers slightly as her voice cracks, "and now...now it's all I have left of him.."

"I completely understand, and I appreciate you sharing all of this with me, I know it isn't easy for you". Mrs Kang nods as she blows her nose with the tissue before discarding it. "Whatever helps you maybe get in contact with him, I'm willing to do anything", she says, a hopeful look on her face.

"Then shall we get started?" you bring out a match, lighting it as you place it next to the wax candle. As the flame takes to life you blow out the match and place it down on the table.

You close your eyes as you take both of Mrs Kang's hands in your own. It doesn't take long before a familiar feeling fills your chest. It's sharp, pushing at your ribs, it feels as if they're about to crack, but it doesn't hurt.

That's how you know that there's something else present, someone else. "Kang Taehyun?" you ask and the surge in your chest grows tighter, you smile. "My name is y/n, I'm here with your mother", you can feel Mrs. Kang's grip on your hands tighten.

"He's here", you say as you open your eyes, "do you have any questions for him? anything you want him to know?". Mrs Kang nods, "I want to tell him that I love him..", she whispers, almost pleadingly. You nod.

"Your mother tells you that she loves you, Taehyun", you await his answer. The spirits never spoke verbally, but would send off different auras, they each held different emotions.

The surge in your chest suddenly felt warm, you smile, "he loves you too". Tears once again fill Mrs. Kang's eyes as she lets out a small sob, "ask him if he's happy, please, I need to know that my baby is alright".

You refocus your attention to the surge in your chest, "your mother asks if you're happy, Taehyun". You're unable to hide the surprise on your face as the pull on your chest immediately darkens, it's almost painful, you've never felt something quite like it before.

Mrs Kang is quick to notice the change in your expression, "what? what's wrong?", she asks worriedly. You shake your head as you close your eyes. The intensity of the surge grows with each second, "he's not happy", you admit and Mrs Kang lets out a small cry.

A soul lingers between the living and the dead for one of two reasons, it can stay behind to watch over loved ones, or it is unable to move on. Judging by the dark pull on your chest you would assume the latter. "Taehyun, why do you linger?", you ask, eyes closed.

The pull on your chest starts thumping rhythmically, almost like a heartbeat. It's quick, harsh, angry. Your eyes snap open, and your hand grips the collar of your shirt.

Mrs Kang immediately stops crying as she looks at you with a horrified expression, "what's wrong dear?" she exclaims. You shake your head, "I've never felt anything like this before", you admit as you take a deep breath.

The thumping is so loud that you fear your eardrums might burst. Quickly leaning forward you blow out the candle and everything comes to an abrupt stop.

It takes you a moment to recollect yourself as your breathing returns to normal. When it finally does you look up at Mrs Kang, "may I see his room?".

Taehyun's room is neat, it feels almost melancholic, frozen in time. Your hands graze along the the shelves filled with albums of different artists. His closet was empty, to be expected. Your gaze lingers on a piece of paper discarded on his desk.

Picking it up you study the words scribbled on it, the handwriting is neat but most of the words have been erased or drawn over. It looks to be lyrics, was it a song he worked on?

"That one was no good", a voice speaks. You shriek, immediately dropping the paper. As you turn around you're met with a young man, possibly in his early twenties. His short black hair lay messily atop his head, his eyes are dark as they study you. Hands digging deep into the pockets of his denim jeans.

"What the fu...who are you?", you ask as you take a step back, your legs hitting the desk behind you. The man raises an eyebrow, "thought we met already".

It takes a moment for you to piece together his words and his comment about the paper in your hand. The way he was standing so causally... as if it were his own room.

"Kang Taehyun?"

He smirks, "in the flesh, well not really". Your jaw goes slack as you stare at the man in front of you. "But...that's not possible, you're...you're",─"dead?", he asks to which you nod.

He shrugs as he takes a step toward you, "your black magic seems to have done a lot more than you expected it to". His dark eyes pierce yours as his brow twitches slightly, "I'll give you that though, I never really believed in the supernatural".

Your mind is still in shambles as you try and make sense of the situation, "how are you here? it makes no sense..". You blink, once, twice, but he remains. You close your eyes for a solid thirty seconds before peeking them open. "You're strange", Taehyun comments and you feel as if your legs are about to give out.

"This can't be happening", your hands claps around your head, "I must be going crazy, yeah that's it, I'm hallucinating". You let out a short laugh, "I really need to get more sleep, I'll take a nap as soon as I come home, yes, that'll solve it".

"Do all psychics talk to themselves?", he asks as he tilts his head. You breathe in, then out, "you're not real", it's a statement not a question. And just like that Taehyun vanishes, the tension in the room slowly lifts and you feel yourself relax as you blink a few times.

Then he suddenly appears again, closer, so close that you could touch him. "Then what am I?" he inquires. His pale hand reaches out to graze yours and you jump, knocking the decorations on his desk.

"Is that not real?", he asks to which you shake your head. Taehyun frowns, he looks almost as if he's about to say something but stops himself. He vanishes, but in less than a second he reappears, now sitting on his bed.

You're about to speak again but the sound of the bedroom door opening has you snapping your head in said direction. Mrs Kang enters, "is everything alright? I heard a noise..."

"I'm fine but I...", you begin as you turn toward the bed, it's empty. Taehyun was gone again.

Mrs. Kang thanks you over and over as she promises to treat you to dinner whenever you wished. You too, thanked her immensely for her hospitality and made sure that you would let her know should anything happen.

You didn't tell her about Taehyun, you were sure it had all been a hallucination. It was true, you were sleeping a lot less these days. You didn't know why, you had never had a problem with insomnia before but you suppose that surrounding yourself with the dead had a certain effect on people.

Still, it didn't explain the fact that you had felt his touch. His hand had been cold, hard as if made out of steel. It was like his whole body was frozen in time. Lucid hallucinations were not something you'd heard of so how...

Thinking that all you needed was a good nights sleep, you made your way home. The keys jingle in the lock as you twist them around in your hand. Kicking your damned heels off, you stumble into the kitchen.

Your hands still had a slight tremble to them as you poured yourself a glass of wine. Drinking on weekdays, alone, wasn't usually your forte but you figured that you needed it if you wanted to get any sleep tonight.

Bringing the glass to your lips you take a sip. "Didn't take you for a drinker", Taehyun's voice is loud, it feels as if its coming from within you. It startles you and the glass slips out of your hands and shatters onto the floor. Red liquor coating the wooden planks.

"Fuck", you look up to be met with Taehyun's figure on the other side of the countertop. "You followed me?". Taehyun shrugs, "if that's what you can call it".

You frown, this was way out of your level of knowledge. You had never heard of a spirit taking a physical form, even less clinging to a host. Were you the only one that could see him? Was that why he vanished when Mrs Kang entered the room?

"I don't understand...", you study his face, unable to read it. "I wish I did but it seems I am as clueless as you are", he says as he leans his forearms on the counter.

"I...I did nothing different today", you mumble as your mind retraces the events of the day. "Then how are you able to take on a physical form? granted I'm not going crazy of course".

"I couldn't, not before at least", he drawls, "then you came along", he smirks, "and suddenly I could". You thought you might've officially lost it now.

You cross your arms, "it doesn't explain why you're following me of all". He frowns, "you're the only one who will listen", he leans closer over the countertop, "I thought you knew that already".

I'm the only one who will listen? He had to imply that others did not see nor hear him. You chew on your bottom lip nervously, "you have to excuse my manners earlier", he grins, "it's been ages since I last had human interaction".

His words make your eyes snap back to him. That's right, he wasn't human, not anymore. He was a ghost, and the only reason he was still here was because he's either watching over someone, or he's unable to move on.

"Why don't you let your soul continue? Why do you still cling to this world?" you ask. Taehyun's expression visibly darkens to the point where he almost looks demonic. "I've got unfinished business here", his words are almost inaudible.

"Unfinished business? what kind?" you press for answers but Taehyun remains quiet. "Does it have anything to do with your mom? your friends? your music?". Every question has his muscles tensing further until he slams his fist down on the countertop, "quiet, please".

You gulp, his knuckles leave a small dent in the marble stone but his hand remains untainted. Despite his harsh outburst another question bubbles at the surface that is your mind. You can't help but ask it.

"Was...was your death not an accident?"

Taehyun's dark eyes find yours as he locks them in place. It feels as if the room temperature dropped at least ten degrees and a shiver creeps up your spine. Yet you stand your ground as you refuse to break eye contact with the ghost.

It's quiet for what feels like forever until the soft rattling of keys from somewhere in the hallway grabs your attention. "Babe, 'm home", a voice calls out and soon Yeonjun comes into vision.

He's carrying two bags of groceries as he sets them down on the countertop. "Hey, you okay? you look like you've seen a ghost", he says as he makes his way around the counter to you.

"I...", you eyes flicker between your boyfriend and the now empty spot where Taehyun had previously been. "Shit, what happened here?", he asks as he bends down to pick up the remains of the wine glass. You had completely forgot about that.

"Oh, right I...I'm just tired I, I was going to clean it up", you rush to help him but a hand on your wrist stops you. "Go rest, babe", Yeonjun smiles as he gives your forehead a kiss, "I'll make us dinner, yeah?".

After the two of you have eaten you offer to do the dishes since Yeonjun had been nice enough to cook for the two of you. Yet you felt your hands trembling as you turned the plates over in your hands.

The whole day had put your body in a state of constant unease and you felt watched at all times. Lean arms wrap around your waist causing you to jump in surprise, the plate falls out of your hands and down in the sink again. Luckily it doesn't break.

"What's wrong, babe?" Yeonjun asks against your neck as he presses a soft kiss to it. You shake your head, "it's just been a long day", you say, and it's partly the truth. Your boyfriend hums as he turns the sink off, "I'll finish it up, do you want me to stay the night?".

Not even thirty minutes later you're laid in bed, your boyfriend's arm draped across your waist as the comforting sounds of his snores fill the room.

Though you hadn't seen Taehyun since earlier that evening you still felt that he was there. You didn't know why but it put you on edge and it wasn't until the early morning hours when you finally fell asleep.

You wake up the next morning to an empty bed, as you make your way into the kitchen the dishes are done for you. A small note is placed on the fridge, "leftovers packed in the fridge for lunch, don't forget to eat, ─ love Yeonjun".

You smile as your fingers trace the outline of the small note. Glancing over at the oven clock confirms the fact that you had indeed slept in. Though your next client wasn't until this afternoon, it gave you plenty of time to get ready.

You don't see Taehyun, not when you shower, blow dry your hair, eat your breakfast or do your makeup. Leaving your supplies in the car the day before meant that it was only for you to get going. One last look in the mirror and you're off.

The google maps on your car glitches a couple times making your way to the client's house a huge detour. Nonetheless you still manage to make it in time.

When you arrive you're greeted by the younger man who'd called. He looked your age, perhaps even younger. He led you through the small hallway and kitchen into a cute living room.

The house spoke to you in many ways and you found yourself admiring the paintings on the walls as you waited whilst he brought the two of you some water.

He sits on the sofa across from you, wiping his hands nervously on his pants. You smile, "I understand that you have called me regarding your late grandfather, correct?", he nods.

"He passed almost four years ago...", he says as he looks down at his hands. "May I ask how?", your voice is soft as you place your hands on your lap. "Cancer", he says and you nod, "I am incredibly sorry for your loss", you reach a hand out to grab his.

His eyes widen as they travel between yours and the way your hands interlinked. "If you trust me, I will be happy to reach out to him for you", you say and the man nods.

"I will require both of your hands", you say as you extend your other hand, he quickly takes it. His hands feel sweaty against your own, probably nerves you thought.

Closing your eyes you search for that familiar pull on your chest. When you find it you instantly smile, the pull is soft and gentle, like that of an old person.

"Mr Park, my name is y/n, I'm here with your grandson", you say. The pull on your chest instantly blooms into warmth. "He's here", you smile.

As you blow out the small candle the pull on your chest seizes. The man is quick to thank you over and over. You notice how his hands still haven't let go of yours.

"He likes you".

Taehyun's voice is a stark contrast to that of the man in front of you as he sits on the sofa next to him. If you were surprised by his appearance the man in front of you hadn't seemed to notice.

You frown toward Taehyun, but his gaze is fixated on the man next to him. "I uhm, I wanted to say that I really admire the work you do.." he says shyly and you smile.

"What an ass kisser", Taehyun comments in a disgusted tone, "he just wants to get you in bed, it's written all over him", he grimaces. You ignore him as you offer the man a smile. "Thank you", you say as you squeeze his hands in an attempt to make him let go.

He lets go as he nervously begins to fiddle with his fingers, "I was hoping...no, wanting to ask if...", he clears his throat nervously, "if maybe I could see you again?" You nod, "if you would like to request my services again that's completely fine just-"

"No I...I was wondering if I could see you...", he says as his face flushes with color. Oh. Taehyun scoffs and averts his gaze, arms folding over his chest.

"I'm uh, I'm afraid that's not possible", you say as you rub your wrist awkwardly. He quickly nods and clears his throat, "right, of course, it's quite alright", he reassures as he stands up. "I'll see you out?", you give him an awkward smile as you nod. "That would be nice".

Despite having had a shower that same morning your body yearned for a second one. The sweat of that man felt as if It clung to you and the whole situation had been so awkward that you just wanted to get in the shower and wash it all off.

The warm water cascaded down your body and your ran your fingers through your hair. For some reason you found your mind wandering to Taehyun and you didn't like it. He made you feel an unexplainable way.

He had pestered you all way home, dodging all your questions about him and somehow always managing to turn the conversation around on you. Only for him to disappear once the car parked outside your apartment.

"He was practically fucking you with his eyes the whole time", he said as he leaned back against the leather of the passenger seat. You roll your eyes, "he wasn't".

Taehyun snorts, "how would you know, you kept your eyes shut the majority of it". Your hands grip the steering wheel tighter, "what's it to you anyway?".

He looks you up and down as he grins, "nothing really". You sigh, "then why bring it up in the first place", you mumble as you keep your eyes on the road ahead. Taehyun doesn't answer.

The warm water did little to ease the tension in your muscles and you turned the shower off and got out. Wrapping a towel around your body you begin running your hands through your wet hair.

A cool sensation against your neck has you spinning around only to be met with nothing but air. You frown as you turn back to the mirror, grabbing the blow dryer as you plug it in.

A cold hand on your shoulder makes you jump and you turn around to come face to face with Taehyun. "What the fuck!" you shriek as you pull the towel closer around yourself.

"Just because you can appear at your own will doesn't give you the right to invade my privacy", you retort as you cross your arms over your chest tightly.

A smirk creeps its way up on his face, "this is the least I've invaded your privacy so far", he says as he takes a step toward you. "You think?" you snap back.

Taehyun tilts his head to the side before vanishing. His voice echoes through your mind, "would you rather I stay up here?". The sensation has your head pounding and you press a palm against your forehead. "No, get out", you order and to your surprise he complies.

A fragment of a second later he's in front of you again, a smirk on his face. He reaches a pale hand up to trace your jawline and neck. His fingers are cold as they leave a trail of goosebumps in their wake.

"What are you.."

"I like you".

His words have your eyes widening but Taehyun's expression is indifferent. "What?" Your tone does little to hide your disbelief.

Taehyun's thumb grazes your bottom lip, and you let him. Why? you didn't have an answer. "I said I like you", he repeats as his hand falls back to his side.

You shake your head, "you don't, you're confused, it's normal your soul is in a transitional state". He chuckles, "you think you got me all figured out huh?". You frown, "what are you implying?".

He takes a step closer, cold chest almost touching your warm one. "I'm...drawn to you", he speaks slowly, as if choosing his words carefully. You sigh, "because I'm the first person you've interacted with since your death, it'll pass", you assure.

"Really?" he asks, a playful grin on his face. "What am I to do until then?" his lips form into a slight pout. You were sure he could hear your heart literally pounding out of your chest.

The sharp ring of your doorbell has him gone in a second. You breathe out a heavy sigh of relief. Remembering that you had ordered takeout before your shower quickly has your mind shifting. Pulling on a robe you make your way to the door as you retrieve your food. Sitting down on the sofa, you pull out your phone to text Yeonjun.

"Come over tonight."

The bed squeaks in rhythm to the deep thrusts of your boyfriend as he pounds you into the mattress. Bare legs wrapped around his waist your long nails claw at his back.

His hand grips onto the headboard as the other gently caresses your cheek. "Look so fuckin' gorgeous tonight, babe", he groans as his face contorts into one of pleasure.

Your lips part in a soft moan as your back arches off the bed. Sex with Yeonjun was bliss. It always seemed to get your mind off things and relax you.

His head dips down to kiss and suck at your neck and your eyes flutter closed in pleasure. When they open again your heart almost stops as you find Taehyun's eyes staring right back at your own.

Hands in his pockets he leans against the wall as he looks at you. Only you, it's as if he's not even registering that Yeonjun is present. His gaze moves from your fucked out face, down your naked body. It stops at your core, as Yeonjun's cock slides in and out of your throbbing cunt. He stares shamelessly, a small smirk tugging at his lips.

Your grip on your boyfriends hair grow painfully harsh earning a soft groan from Yeonjun, "need more?", he asks. You nod, your eyes locked with Taehyun's as you speak, "yes, need it so bad".

The night Taehyun had watched you get fucked out by your boyfriend had been the last time you saw him. Four days had passed without as much as a peep from him.

You were relieved, ready to put it all behind you. Writing it off as a weird hallucination of sort. It must've all been in your head. Though a part of you, a very small part, felt weird.

It wasn't that you missed him, you thought. But something was gnawing away at you every moment spent without even feeling the presence of his soul, tugging at your chest.

You had even for a split moment considered to bring out your supplies and summon him yourself. Thought you quickly discarded the idea again.

Your days were slow, uneventful and almost boring. Yeonjun was away on a business trip and you had spent the past nights alone in your dark bedroom. He wouldn't be home for another three days, you groaned at the thought.

Scrolling mindlessly on your phone as the late evening turns into early night. You didn't have any clients tomorrow so you didn't see an issue with staying up.

By 2am your eyes finally began to feel heavy. Putting your phone away you pulled the blanket over yourself as you got comfortable. You had almost drifted off into a deep sleep when the light squeak of the floorboards made your eyes snap open.

Sitting up, you pulled the covers closer to your chest as you squinted in the darkness. It was quiet, but you knew that you weren't alone. The tugging sensation in your chest had returned, he had returned.

"Taehyun..?" your voice is barely above a whisper but a soft hum coming from somewhere in the room confirms your suspicions. Carefully reaching over, you flick on the lamp on the bedside table.

The room is immediately cast in a dim light as Taehyun's figure comes into vision. He's standing exactly where he had been, four days ago.

Was it bad that you were relieved to see him? Probably. Yet you couldn't hide the smile etching its way to your face.

Something was different about him, you couldn't pin point it until your gaze met his. Dark eyes were piercing yours much like they had the first time you met, but this time they held something else, lust.

You barely have time to blink and he's by your side. Standing next to the bed he towers over you from where you're sitting. Cold fingers slide under your chin as he turns your face up.

Your lips part in surprise as your eyes widen, "T-Taehyun..?". His thumb pulls at your bottom lip before he lets it go. He lets out a frustrated sigh as he takes a few steps back.

Left confused you shift awkwardly on the bed. "What's going on...?", you whisper, he doesn't reply. It's strange, you hadn't seen or heard from him for four days and now, he just shows up acting all strange without even speaking to you.

"Listen Taehyun, I..", your words get stuck in your throat as he suddenly appears in front of you. Your back is pushed against the headboard as Taehyun cages you against it. Arms on either side of your head, his hands grip the headboard tightly. His knees hit the soft mattress as he straddles you.

"You what?", he asks, his voice is low, rumbling from deep in his chest. You swallow, "I...uhm...I...", your eyes shift from his own to his lips. Your tongue subconsciously darts out to wet your lips as your gaze travels back up to his eyes.

Taehyun lets out a frustrated groan as he mumbles something under his breath. You can't make the words out and before you know it his lips are on yours.

Your eyes widen but only for a moment before they flutter closed. His lips are cool against yours, but it's not unpleasant. The kiss is tender but it's full of desire. A sense of longing and yearning emits from him as his lips move softly against yours.

Though Taehyun is quick to pull back, he studies your face for a reaction. You bite your bottom lip softly as your gaze falls on his lips. "One more", he breathes out before crashing his lips against yours once again.

This time he doesn't hold back as his tongue forces its way inside your mouth. You happily comply as your lips part, your hands find their way to his hair, tugging softly at the ends.

Teeth clash together as Taehyun presses himself impossibly closer to you. His hands move from the headboard to gently cup your cheeks. His touch is electrifying.

But is it right? Your mind goes to Yeonjun, your boyfriend. You had a boyfriend for christ's sake, yet here you are making out with...with a ghost.

Could it count as cheating if he wasn't even a real person? You didn't know, and in that moment you couldn't bring yourself to care.

Taehyun is first to pull away as you chase after his lips, a soft whine emitting at the loss of him. He smirks, "so eager", he coos as his thumb massages your saliva coated lips.

His other hand finds the end of your blanket as he pulls it down. You're wearing nothing but your satin nightgown, it barely reaches your upper thighs. Perked nipples prominent through the thin fabric.

"Don't tell me you've been getting this dolled up every night", he mumbles as cold fingers trail along your collarbone, down the centre of your chest.

You shiver as you squirm under him, "you wear this for him too?", he glances up toward you. You bite your lip as you shake your head no. You usually wore something more comfortable to bed, but the past four days had been affecting you greatly. Perhaps it was the absence of your boyfriend, or maybe it was the absence of the soul you had grown so accustomed to in such a short time.

Taehyun hums in approval as he pushes the thin gown over your hips, revealing the white lace concealing your aching core from him. Index finger finds the hem of your panties as he pulls it up, "and these?".

Your face flushes all shades of red as your eyes meet his, "they're new..", you whisper. Taehyun lets go of the fabric wrapped around his finger, it snaps back against your skin.

"A shame for them to get ruined on their first wear", he says as he presses his thumb against your clothed clit. A soft gasp escapes your lips as your thighs twitch slightly. "But you don't mind do you, angel?"

The nickname catches you off guard, and it makes your cunt clench around nothing. His other hand rubs small circles on your hip as his fingers on your clit move your panties to the side.

"Knew you'd be fucking perfect", he slides two fingers inside of you without much struggle and you arch off the bed with a whimper. The hand on your hip holds you back down against the mattress as Taehyun watches his fingers slide in and out of your dripping pussy.

"That boyfriend of yours aint enough?" he tilts his head as he looks at you, your lips parted as soft moans spill from your mouth. "Greedy fucking bitch", his fingers curl inside of you making you cry out in pleasure, "one guy aint enough for you?"

You shake your head, "n...need you", you whimper. Taehyun hums softly, "you will". He retracts his fingers making you whine at the loss of contact, "let me taste you first, dollface".

His fingers are quickly replaced by his soft breath as he inhales the scent of you. "Smell like fucking heaven, angel", he groans, "bet you taste like it too".

Your thighs clench around his head as he presses his tongue flat against your clit. Hands in his hair, you force his face closer to your throbbing cunt. Soft whines and moans leave your lips and when he inserts his tongue you swear you see stars.

Air wasn't a necessity for Taehyun and he used it to his advantage as he devoures your cunt like it was his last meal, ironically enough it could've been.

Cold hands caresses your plush thighs as they tremble under his ministrations. A familiar feeling fills your stomach as your climax approaches. Taehyun looks up from between your legs and you swear that the way he looked at you almost made you orgasm on the spot.

"Gonna give me a taste of your heaven, angel?"

You whimper as your orgasm cruises through you, Taehyun is quick to greedily lick and feast on your high, his nose stimulating your clit as he does in an almost taunting way.

Once your legs stop trembling he finally sits up, wiping his face with the back of his hand. You're left a panting mess as you lock eyes with him. "Can you give me one more, dollface?" he asks as one of his hands palms himself through his jeans. You eagerly nod.

His smirk is the last thing you see before he grabs you by your thighs, pulling you down so that you lay flat on your back. Propping himself up on one arm Taehyun leans over you, fingers brushing a strand of hair out of your face as the tip of his cock prods at your cunt.

He leans down to connect your lips with his as he slides himself inside. Thick cock stretching you out in a blissful way, you moan against his lips.

"Greedy fucking pussy sucking me in like it's been starved", he says as his lips move down your neck and collarbone. He moves slowly, filling you out with each thrust. "Bet it has", he says as he teeth graze the flesh of your breast.

"Your boyfriend is sloppy", he grunts as he thrusts back inside of you, "doesn't know that he's got heaven right in front of him". His mouth finds your nipple through the thin material of your nightgown, twisting and pulling it between his teeth.

You whimper and feel yourself clench around him, pulling a groan from Taehyun as he sucks marks onto your chest and neck. One of his hands travels down your thighs, pushing it up, allowing him to sink deeper into you as you both moan in union.

"Shit angel, you were made for me", he breathes out as your lips find each other in a messy exchange of kisses. Pulling away for a short moment, his dark lustful eyes pierce yours, "still think I'm not real, angel?", he taunts as he moves in and out of you slowly.

"Just shut up and kiss me", you moan as you pull his lips back down on yours again. You can feel his smirk against your lips as he snaps his hips against yours, earning a loud cry from you.

Your breath grows short and ragged as you feel your second orgasm of the night approach. Taehyun's thumb finds your abused clit as he rubs it teasingly. "Gonna cum for me a second time, angel?"

Your cunt throbs around him as you release all over his cock, hands pulling at his hair as a soft whimper escapes your lips. Taehyun's teeth graze your skin as he buries his face in your neck, a low groan leaving his lips as he finishes deep inside of you.

The sensation is unlike anything you've felt with anyone before, not even with Yeonjun. Taehyun rests his forehead against your as he waits for you to catch your breath, the perks of being dead you suppose.

His gaze remains lustful as he studies your face but there's something else too. The back of his hand gently caresses your cheek as he speaks, "my room, on the desk, top drawer to the right, there's a blue USB stick, take it".

His words confuse you, but he doesn't let you overthink it as he reconnects your lips in a soft kiss.

When you wake up the next morning Taehyun is gone. At first you think that the previous night might've just been a feverish dream, but the mess that were your bedsheets and your missing panties told you otherwise.

A warm shower later you're sat by the TV. Taehyun's words from the night before still ringing in your ears. "USB stick, desk, top right drawer", what did significance did the small device hold? There was only one way to find out.

You still knew the way to Mrs. Kang's apartment, she greeted you with a smile. After a rather long moment of small talk you find yourself in Taehyun's room.

Heading straight for his desk you pull out the top drawer to the right. And just like he said there it was, a small blue USB stick, you take it.

When you arrive back home you rush to your computer, as you plug it in a small set of files pop up. Curious you click the first one, at first it's dark, you frown, was it broken?

Then an image floods the screen, no a video, your eyes widen, it's a dash cam. More specifically it's the dash cam of the car that had taken Taehyun's life.

Anxiously you skip ahead, it's not until a few days later when the event actually takes place. Taehyun passes by the front of the car as he makes his way to the passenger seat.

While in the car you can only make out their voices, the engine roars to life as the car starts moving. They drive for a good thirty minutes, their conversation shifting between ordinary subjects.

It's not until they make it out on the highway that things start going wrong.

"Hey, slow down", Taehyun says. The car is visibly moving faster than the ones surrounding them. "I'm trying!" his friend then exclaims, his voice slightly panicked.

"What the fuck do you mean? Just slow down!", Taehyun's voice rises, and his friend curses under his breath. "I fucking told you I'm trying, it's not working the brakes..."

You close your laptop. You don't want to see what you already know is bound to happen. Though it's clear that someone messed with the car beforehand.

Taking a deep breath you reopen your laptop, clicking off the file you go back in time. It takes you a couple of hours to go through all the footage but then you find it.

Almost five days earlier, a man you don't recognise comes into frame. He walks around the car a few times, slowly, cautiously as he scans the area.

Then he gets inside, so he had a key? You don't exactly know what he's doing but you know enough to be certain that he's not fixing the oil. After a mere five minutes he exits the car and leaves.

That's what Taehyun wanted you to see. It wasn't a car accident, it was murder. And the person guilty was yet to be caught. It would explain why he wasn't able to move on.

You had to get this USB stick in the right hands. And that's exactly what you did.

The footage proved to be crucial evidence directly linking the man to the crime. He had turned out to be a direct family member of Taehyun's friend.

When Mrs Kang found out she was heartbroken. Though she thanked you immensely for finding out the truth behind her son's passing. You continued to visit her regularly after that.

You never saw Taehyun again, but every now and then a warm pull at your chest would remind you of his gratitude toward you and that he was forever indebted to you.

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[002yb]

what is your favourite reverse robins dynamic?

Admittedly I'm very fond of the Dick and Jason dynamic that came about from my other reverse robin au posts, but somehow Damian and Tim edge it out (though I'm also extraordinarily fond of how I imagine dami/jay in this verse, too!) Maybe I'm a bit weak for it because this low-key could have been Dick and Jason's relationship if things were just slightly different... which just adds to my love of reverse robin au because the comparison is a bit tragic. ;U;

Damian + Tim

Where Damian recognizes that he's outgrowing his own mantle, so he seeks out his own replacement

That Damian's bleeding heart chooses Tim (intelligent, resourceful, tenacious, insufferable) is something Tim never lets Damian live down, later on in their friendship partnership

These two having been through it together. Damian being there every step of the way, too. From training Tim to take over the mantle, to his first patrols. Building up Tim's confidence and being all smug and proud when Tim comes into his own

There would be a lot of trust between them. Because Tim knows he can rely on Damian. Damian has proven this time and again by simply being there (with wicked, prideful smirks at Tim's competence, with patience and a firm hand at any setbacks; challenging him, having his back, and being bluntly honest in the face of any of Tim's insecurities that crop up). And Damian just - he chose Tim, of course that confidence goes both ways.

So yes, although Tim stops being so starry-eyed as he grows up, the respect for Damian will always be there. It's why Tim strives to become less a mentee, more a partner

Because he wants to be there for Damian, too.

That they become friends partners was only natural.

Make no mistake though, the majority of the time these two are just griping at each other, about each other

(Because as they grow up together it becomes fun for Damian to needle Tim. And of course Tim is influenced by this and taunts Damian right back. And it becomes their norm. It’s something Damian half heartedly complains about because Tim used to be ‘respectful’ what happened? And Tim scoffs because Damian happened, that’s what).

But yeah, Tim being the one to challenge Damian when it's needed. Or Tim squaring off with Bruce whenever Bruce and Damian have a rare spat

Extra Damian & Timmers + Supers

These two both have their own super besties and like hell they both haven't had those awkward encounters where they bump into one another at the Clark home in the mornings

Truth be told, ambiguous Dami/Jon and Tim/Kon because it can’t not be a thing where Damian and Tim are forever uncertain about what's going on and their respective besties claim it's platonic but the doubt is there forever hahaha

Damian and Tim needling each other about their respective supers.

Omg, random competitions on who comes running fastest when called ahhhahaha the super boys are so exasperated and in love

That aside, Damian and Tim challenging each other a lot and it's really motivating for them both. Meanwhile everyone else is concerned because they both seem kind of mean? It’s how they care though 💖

For some background on what's below this, Tim + Jason:

Because Tim never outgrows the Robin mantle, it's Damian who takes it away in true Bruce fashion

By bringing in street kid Jason and blindsiding Tim like none other

There's no ill intent behind it. It's entirely because Damian thinks so highly of Tim that he shoves him out of the proverbial nest

But Tim doesn't take it that way and it becomes their biggest fight

Because Tim accuses Damian of feeling Tim is lacking. Tim demands to know why he's being replaced. What the fuck he did wrong?

Nothing, is the answer to that. Because Tim took Robin and made them to be something even greater than what Damian left behind. The respect and care Tim put into Robin is something Damian doesn't take lightly; he's most grateful

What he's not about is Tim getting all combative and nasty though, especially when Damian is doing something for Tim

Just classic batboy miscommunications, y'know?

Anyway, because Tim lashes out, Damian ends up lashing out too. It eventually comes out that Damian doesn't want Tim getting 'complacent' in Damian's shadow and Tim shuts down on him so hard

Damian knows that Tim could be the best

Tim's insecurities run away with him and he feels entirely the opposite (like he misstepped somewhere, like Damian never saw him like an equal, that he's already replaced, etc etc)

Basically Tim leaves for the tower and leaves Damian to look after Jason, if that's what he wants so bad.

A falling out because Damian assumed and Tim is betrayed and it's sadness because even if Robin works with Batman, Tim has always been Damian's partner first and foremost.

Something something Tim turning on Jason and being the very definition of 'never meet your heroes'. Just Tim giving Jason the coldest stare, the most damning of once overs before clicking his tongue (a bad habit picked up from Damian)

Oh. Jason getting stuck with the knowledge that he's the bane of Robin's existence. And then Bruce's disappointment, too, because he seriously just comes in to work and his well-oiled machine has a cog in it that doesn't fit yet

So Jason is put in this position with a lot of pressure to be the best. So that Batman will approve of him, so that Robin will accept him, so that he doesn't disappoint Damian and make all the sacrifices he made for Jason worthless

And angst with the struggle in finding his place in a world that didn't need/want him beyond Damian's willful fancies

Damian & Tim + Jason

Damian being there when everything falls apart in Ethiopia

For whatever reason, Damian is there in Bruce's steed while Bruce is indisposed elsewhere

And Damian is caught in that same position: save the lives of countless innocent people or save the life of this boy who stole his heart

Though Bruce gives the order, Damian goes against it.

This being the first time Damian has ever done so, but he does it without regret because Jason is his

And because Damian chooses Jason, he's able to get to the warehouse in time to save him. Not from the beating, but at least from the worst of the explosion.

So torn between Jason having saved his birth mom or that not happening and Damian making the conscious decision to let her burn ooooooo >>

Anyway, Damian's actions have consequences. With Bruce. Who goes off on him so hard despite Damian bringing his son back to him. And he bears it with squared shoulders and raised chin, because he has no reason to be ashamed. Still, Bruce is his father so Damian shows him respect

Until Bruce goes off on Damian's loyalties. Bruce being so worked up and betrayed that he questions if Damian is still under the influence of the League, if he's theirs as opposed to his

Damian is no one's. Though, that might not be right. He's Robin's. Still, he bristles at the accusation. And it leads to the ugliest fight they've ever had, which leads to Damian leaving the family with the seething proclamation that he will return to the League

Something something, Tim going after Damian and trying to parse out how serious Damian is. He can't just leave, not with Jason still--

'Look after him for me.'

And Tim might hate him for this one. Because Jason is going to wake up and see how everything fell apart. He's going to see that Damian is gone and Jason will know it's his fault.

'That's unfair.'

'Do it for me anyway.'

And Tim does, even if he’s angry and abandoned and upset.

[desert-fern]

A Gun Amongst Daggers - Jake “Hangman” Seresin X Fem!Navy Seal Reader

Part 21: I Won’t Let You Go

Summary: When Jake meets a woman at the Hard Deck, the last thing he expects is for her to be a Navy Seal. And not just any Seal, the Commander of Seal Team 3. She’s beautiful, smart, dangerous, and everything about her just makes him want to get close. Her name? Bear. When the Seals need backup, Cyclone puts the Daggers on their radar and now, Jake has to work with Bear and her team, all the while trying to stay professional. Can he do it? Or will he end up falling for the Navy sniper and mission Commander?

*Pic is not mine, found on Pinterest.*

MINORS DO NOT ENGAGE! 18+ ONLY. MINORS & BLOGS WITH NO AGE/EMPTY BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED.

Warnings: brief mention of blood, physical violence (someone gets punched), threats of violence, panic attack, BIG reveal, some sweet moments, Jake (the man’s a warning okay?), the author’s a dick again 🫣

Word Count: 7.2k

Masterlist >> Part 20 >> Part 22

===

Bear stilled. Her task of making sure that Bob was okay was put on pause to face the man before her. “Lieutenant Commander Richards,” she spoke in a voice edged in steel as she stared Hazard down. “Care to explain why he’s loose like this?” She had turned to the men escorting him in a heartbeat, staring them down.

All it took for the men escorting Hazard to respond was the hard edge of a CO’s voice, and they scrambled to ensure Hazard was tightly cuffed, that their uniforms were on straight, and making sure they saluted.

Safe to say, these midshipmen had no idea how important their jobs were.

Especially since they were under orders from Admiral Will Harris, passed down by Lieutenant Commander Priya ‘Bug’ Gill, both of which were names that echoed through ranks as being people not to mess with, and to make matters worse, Hazard was supposed to be kept away from Bear. That was the order.

These men had just failed. Because here was Bear, standing face to face with the man who had been responsible for so much.

“Ma’am… we uh, we didn’t think that uh. That people would be around at this time,” one of the midshipmen tried to explain.

“Is that right?” Bear was beyond furious at the lack of care that was being demonstrated by the men before her. “Because I don’t think that you’re aware of exactly why he can’t be anywhere near me.”

“Uh… why’s that? Ma’am.”

Turning the flat look to Hazard, Bear gave him a once over. “Because the last time I was in a room with him, I had a loaded gun held to his head, daring him to give me a reason why I shouldn’t drop him like the dead weight he is.”

“Oh.” The sheer obliviousness in his voice made Bear’s jaw twitch, drawing twin death glares from the men behind her.

“Not to mention,” she ground out. “The stitches on his face that have yet to come out? Those are from the last time he faced down Lieutenant Seresin. So you not only disobeyed direct orders by moving him in daylight, but also by failing to ensure that two of the people he is never to have contact with were not in the path you were taking.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Sorry ma’am.”

Jake’s hand had come up to press against her lower back, offering his silent support. He knew she could feel it shaking in anger, but he didn’t care. This was the man, no, the cowardly fuck that had nearly ripped them apart before they had even begun to build something real. “That’s not good enough.” Jake’s voice, like his hands, shook in fury, but Hazard saw it differently.

“Is the big bad pilot scared?” He taunted, the depraved smirk on his face growing larger by the second. Bear hadn’t said a word to him, choosing to stand in front of him looking thoroughly unimpressed. “I guess I’m just surprised that you need someone to fight your battles for you, Bear. But then again, you always did hide up on your perch while the rest of us did the grunt work.”

Bear didn’t say a word, her face impassive. She couldn’t let her anger win. She couldn’t let Hazard think that he had the upper hand. If he ran his mouth long enough, maybe, just maybe, he’d say something to incriminate himself and the others. So she adjusted her gaze, staring him dead in the eyes, daring him to keep going.

And he did. “It’s really just pathetic. This big bad Commander hiding behind a walking Ken doll. I guess you aren’t nearly as tough as you seem, especially if it took getting captured for you to realize that something was wrong. And now, Bear? Good luck ever getting promoted again. You all should be thanking me,” he announced, meeting the furious stares of the men around him, “I just showed you why women aren’t good enough to be in the military. They’re just distractions. Besides, you got captured. It’s not my fault you spent the whole prep time drooling over a man with less intelligence than the plane he flies.

“I fooled you all!” He crowed, sadistic joy growing in his wild eyes. “I fooled the ‘untrickable’ Bear! I am a legend. You believed that I wouldn’t do anything to harm you! That I wasn’t in complete control of this mission, and yet you failed! You had no idea what I did, not until you didn’t die like you were supposed to!” His face had split into a manic grin, everything about him was wild, unhinged like a wolverine in a cage.

It would have been enough to be terrified of had Bear not been worse, more unhinged and broken after her triumphant return to the Air Base. But all Jake could focus on was how still Bear was. She barely moved, even as Hazard continued to rant and rave, bragging about how he was the best by a mile, the most intelligent, the bravest, the most daring.

Jake could barely make out the words being spoken now, he was numb. The same overwhelming feeling he had when he had confronted Hazard in the manner that had led to the stitches that still sat in his cheeks and head. His heartbeat echoed in his ears, and his hands shook, every fiber of his being wanted to jump forwards, to prove that Hazard was none of what he had proclaimed himself to be. But he couldn’t. This was Bear’s fight now.

“And to your precious Flyboy,” Hazard spat venomously. “You were supposed to die.”

What? Bear’s eyes widened a fraction at the statement. Hazard had a problem with her, not Jake. Her mind was calm, but her heart hadn’t received the memo and it had sunk into her stomach at his words.

“Oh yeah. I really thought Shrike would have said something. After all, she did find the missing bolt in my pocket after she grabbed me. But I guess she didn’t tell you. Useless bitch.” Hazard was completely gone. Where he stood was not a man Bear knew, that creature was not the man that had fought alongside her for years. This was a monster. “And what makes it all so much better? The fact that I had help from someone you trusted. I’ll give you a hint: rhymes with ‘Glare’.”

Bear’s heart stopped still, but her mind spun with question upon question, each finding themself no answer in the torrent of emotion. Flare? Her Lieutenant? The woman running her intelligence team? The young woman who showed so much promise and had reminded Bear so much of herself? She had helped this… fuck up? That wasn’t right, it had to be a lie. Flare would never have done this, not to Bear, not to her team. At least not willingly.

A lump hardened in her throat and Bear stood stock still, her eyes betraying her hurt and shock, as she stared Hazard down. “What.” Her tone was short and clipped, the fury barely contained. It was like she was transported back to Riyadh, standing in that meeting room with a gun to Hazard’s head, only this time, he had the upper hand.

The look on Hazard’s face twisted and morphed into one of pure glee. “Oh yeah. She’s been in on this since the start. Since before pretty boy over there. I only had to suggest that she’d be blamed for everything. It was so easy even one of your stupid flying monkeys could have done it! That and well, since I had to improvise, Jake, her capture is your fault. You didn’t die, so she had to.”

Jake froze, heart thrumming like that of a rabbit being hunted. He would have died if it had meant Bear was safe, but she had done the same for him only hours later. What had Hazard done? “What?” The word slipped from his lips faster than he could catch them and Hazard’s face only grew more maniacal.

“Oh yeah. I pulled a bolt from your plane while you were distracted with little miss tits for brains over there. You were supposed to crash and burn up the minute you hit a certain altitude, but I guess Gallows fucked up on that part.” The Seal was ranting and raving like a lunatic, completely unaware that he had just given up another co-conspirator. “You didn’t die easily. So one little phone call, a truck mounted missile and BOOM! NO MORE FLYBOY! You still feel like a man?! You got her captured because YOU. WOULDN’T. DIE. EASILY.

“ALL IT TOOK WAS ONE PHONE CALL! I HAD JUST ABOUT SOLVED ALL OF MY PROBLEMS BUT NEITHER OF YOU DIED!! BUT I STILL WIN! I WILL ALWAYS WIN BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO PATHE-”

Bob had had enough. This man, standing before them, wouldn’t stop. Bear was stunned, Hazard couldn’t see it, but Bob did. He knew that under the dangerous calm she gave off that she was hurt, her sense of trust twisted and warped into something that she didn’t recognize. Jake was beyond furious and Bob? Bob had never been this angry in his life, and Hazard just wouldn’t stop. Before he could stop himself, he had stepped forwards, arm raised and let his fist fly.

Hazard hit the ground from the force of the punch, abruptly finding himself cut off from the mania that had fueled him seconds earlier. He stared up in shock at Bob, who had taken on the anger Jake had been feeling. He had run his mouth for too long, and it was about damn time someone shut it for him.

Bear sprung into action, backing Bob off towards Jake, who stood close by, his green eyes staring daggers into Hazard’s fallen form. “You!” She barked, pointing at the midshipmen who stood stock still in shock. “Get him out of my sight. If I ever see him again, neither he nor you will live to see the light of day again. Am I clear?”

“Yes Ma’am. Crystal clear, Ma’am.” The taller of the two men nodded frantically, and hauled Hazard to his feet and practically dragged him down the hallway towards the infirmary, blood dotting the floor from Hazard’s once again broken nose.

“Lieutenant Floyd.” Bear had rounded on Bob and the look on her face erased any remaining bit of anger flowing in his blood. “What the hell?”

“Commander, I-” He began but shut his mouth quickly.

Bear hated that she had to ream him out. Bob had done what both her and Jake couldn’t, but that didn’t make it right. “No. I appreciate the thought that went into that but you went about the wrong way. I will be speaking with Captain Mitchell about this.”

“I understand,” he replied dejectedly, staring at his boots.

Bear glanced around, before dropping her voice. “Bob. Look at me.” When he did, she continued. “I do have to inform Mav of what happened, but I will be giving him the full story, including that you were standing up for a superior. I don’t expect you’ll be blamed as I have the whole thing recorded.”

Jake made a strangled noise. “What?”

Bear just grinned at him, doing her best impression of the maniac look on Hazard’s face the second he had seen her. “Phone, back pocket. That man never knew when to shut up so I figured I’d catch him in the act. Now, you both need to cool down. Go do that. If I catch wind of either one of you informing the others of what just happened here, I will have both your asses.”

“What about you?” Jake asked, looking at her worriedly.

“I’m fine.”

“Okay…” he trailed off, not looking convinced. “I’ll find you later?”

“We’ll see.” Her words were short and clipped, desperately trying to stem the tears that wanted to slip from her eyes. “Have a good day boys.”

And with that, she left. Striding down the hall to find Flare, willing herself not to cry until she was somewhere safe after all of this.

===

The door to the meeting room flung open and the women inside jumped. Bug took one look at Bear’s face and knew immediately that something was wrong. “What happened?”

“Lieutenant Trace, you are excused.” Her voice was hollow. First Chip, and now Flare? This had been too much for her to handle on top of the trauma she was trying to fight off with a stick and she was oh so close to just snapping.

“Bear?” Flare’s voice was timid, so very unlike her usual demeanour that it only served to confirm what Bear knew. “What’s going on?”

Bear ignored the younger woman in favour of watching Phoenix leave the room before bolting the door behind her. “So Bug. I just found out some information.”

Bug’s gaze flicked back and forth between her CO and Flare. “What about?” She was cautious in her tone, treading carefully in order to ensure Bear didn’t blow up.

“Flare… anything you want to tell Bug?” Bear’s voice was sharp, abrasive; it was loud and calm and somehow that scared Flare far more than anything else. “That wasn’t a suggestion, Lieutenant Komori.”

“I…IwasmanipulatedintohelpingHazardaftermyinformationwasusedtokillsc-outsthatwewereusingintheregionandsabotagethedroneandpersonnelcounts. He said that he would kill me like he has you!” Flare confessed in a rush before burying her head in her hands and beginning to sob.

Bug looked bewildered. “What?”

“She said that Hazard manipulated her too, just like Chip. Told her that since he had used her information to kill our scouts, sabotage the drone imaging for the mission prep, and fuck up our enemy personnel counts, that her indirect involvement meant that he could take her down too. Like he did me, apparently.” Bear’s arms were folded, hands hidden so that she wouldn’t reach out to Flare and try to soothe her. Meanwhile, her heart was breaking as Flare sobbed into her uniform and she stood and watched, helpless to do anything as anger raced through her veins like jet fuel. She needed answers before she could offer comfort to the crying woman before her.

She was angry, both at herself for not seeing any of this, and at Flare for not coming forward. She had trained her team to be honest. To treat the team like family and this happened?! How could it not be her fault?

Bug’s soft tone broke through the storm raging in Bear’s head. “Mei, what happened exactly?”

Flare hiccuped, keeping her face buried in her arms. Of all the things she felt at this moment, guilt was the most prominent. She had let Bear down, her mentor and maternal figure. She had been threatened into submission by a man who failed in his every attempt to remove both Bear and Hangman and now she had to face the consequences that came with the decision that she had thought was the right one.

Bug’s hand on her shoulder had Mei lifting her head, her face contorted in a half-sob that escaped her when she caught the look of disappointment and betrayal on Bear’s face. “I-I… That project,” she began, her voice thick with unshed tears. “The intelligence gathering that I had to do from the beginning? Hazard had finished with his task, Bug had deemed it satisfactory so he went to ‘help’ me. He took my lists of friendlies in the area, claimed that he would make contact and get the information that I hadn’t yet put together. He said he was trying to be helpful.” She dissolved into another wave of tears as Bear looked on, her trust in the young woman before her shattered to bits.

Bear still felt numb. Ever since Hazard had told her about Flare, she had been numb to anything else, resorting to using her Commander personna to prevent people from asking if she was okay. It had only slightly worked, but now Bear wished that she didn’t have to feel this pain. Wished and hoped and prayed that Flare had just agreed that Hazard would be a better leader and that Bear was better off dead than have to sit and face the fact that she had had a fox in the henhouse. She knew it was cowardly, but she couldn’t help it. Anyone would do the same in her position.

“… the next thing I knew, he-he had me pressed against the wall and told me that if I ever breathed a word of what he did to you or Bear, that he would kill me slowly. Priya, he promised to do the same to my family, to you, to anyone on the team that I cared about! I just kept my mouth shut and hoped that no one would notice and that maybe I could go and tell one of you but he was always right fucking there!

“Then the drone went down. I did what you asked, Bear. I ordered it up again and the footage we got was the last from the team. They were found murdered days later in their HQ. I went to talk to you, but he saw me on my way, he hit me.” The words were flowing from her lips faster than Flare could speak, but this had all been bottled up for too long and now her conscience was making a play to clear itself, to dump all she knew at the feet of the women who could try and fix it. “So I didn’t find you after that. How could I?. And it was all fine until we deployed and you needed those figures. I gave you the right ones and when Ha- he found out, he hit me again. Somewhere no one would notice. He threatened me again, told me that he was running out of patience, that next time he would kill me.”

The room went silent. Bug had sat down in shock at the description of what Hazard had done to Mei in order to get her to keep her mouth shut. Bear had to turn away, her stomach churning. She had been so caught up in the sting of betrayal that she had forgotten that Flare, that Mei, had been a victim in this too.

“And? What happened next?” Bear’s hoarse voice broke through the silence as she came to sit down at the table. She would listen. Flare deserved to be heard, especially after what had been done to her. As Commander, Bear had to listen and she knew that the alternative for her would be storming to the brig and murdering Hazard herself. “It’s okay, Flare. He can’t hurt you anymore. I won’t let him.”

Flare drew a shaky breath. She had stopped crying some time ago but her hands and voice shook as she had spoken, glossing over what Hazard had threatened to do because she just couldn’t put it into words. “We hit the ground running in Riyadh, there wasn’t time to tell you. Bear, I swear on my life I would have said something if it was safe to do so. I was just so scared and he had threatened my life too many times not to kill me if I tried to come find you. So I just did my best to try and minimize his effects, but I didn’t know that he would try to kill you or… or Jake. The grenade thrown at you in the compound… Colton told me that it was supposed to kill you. If you hadn’t thrown it,” Mei paused, trying to steady her breathing. “We would have died from an American grenade. Not an Arabian one.

“I just… I’m so sorry Bear,” Flare said as another wave of tears crashed over her. “I’m so sorry. I understand if you can’t ever forgive me, I betrayed your trust. I hurt the team…”

“Mei…” Bear’s tone was gentle as tears pricked the corners of her eyes and her throat tightened. “Oh Mei. I don’t blame you. I blame Colton and his stupid fucking superiority complex. You…” she trailed off, trying to think of her next words. Her heart broke for what Flare had been put through, even if she herself had been the primary target, it didn’t change the fact that Mei had been a victim herself. Her mind however, raced through the millions of questions that had come up as Flare rambled out her story even as she knew that this was no time for them.

She swallowed thickly, stuffing her tears back and forcing herself to remain in her usual calm, collected state. Her team, despite taking orders from Bug, still looked to her for how to act during this time. Her calmness would trickle down through the ranks, spreading to even the most junior of her team, but that didn’t mean it didn’t ache to see how much this had shook everyone to their very cores. Bear wanted to scream, rant, rave, and just destroy it all if only to exact a fraction of the pain Colton had caused her team back on him.

But that wasn’t her job and it wasn’t her place.

She had to grin and bear it. Suck it up and move on like parts of her hadn’t been carved away.

“You shouldn’t have had to do this alone,” Bug replied, wrapping Flare in a tight hug and holding her close. And Bear had to turn away for fear of her mask cracking. She so desperately wanted to be angry, but Flare wasn’t the target of her anger. Hell, Colton, Hazard, wasn’t either. Bear was angry at everything that had ever convinced Hazard that he deserved something that wasn’t his. She was furious at the powers that had bound her hands the second she had freed them from her captors. In a way, the last time she was free was those two days driving across the desert, just her and Amir. No expectations, no rules, no bosses or legislation, and it had been a relief to just abandon the weight that she had always carried. So no, no she couldn’t just sit here and watch Bug hold Flare.

She needed to leave the room. “W- we’ll finish this discussion later,” Bear said, her voice cracking on the first syllable. “I just… I ne-I need to figure this all out.” Bear left the room, trying to ignore the ache that had settled in her chest at Flare’s cries and her own repressed ones.

===

Jake found her a few hours later, curled up on her bunk, phone in hand as she spoke to someone over the phone. He stood in the doorway, watching her, worry growing in his mind. Bear had disappeared almost immediately after Hazard had said what he had, and no one had seen her. Not Mav, not Shrike, no one. “He got the letter?” Her voice was quiet, but it still cut through the cloudiness of his senses, letting him breathe.

Colonel Richmond, the Riyadh Base Commander, replied “He did. I made sure of it myself.” He had been waiting for Bear to call him, and had actually called her first to ensure that she was aware that Amir was going home.

“And he’s safe?”

“He is. Amir went home to his family earlier today. Both parents came, and we made sure the money you left was given to them. It’s all taken care of, Commander.”

Bear bit her lip, nodding slowly. “Good. Thank you, Colonel.”

“It was my pleasure. Goodbye.”

“Bye.” Bear’s phone slipped from her hands and fell onto the bed. Tears raced down her cheeks, this time, ones of relief. Amir was okay. He and his family were reunited, and everything was going to be okay. Then she remembered Hazard’s words. “You got her captured because YOU. WOULDN’T. DIE. EASILY.” They pounded against her heart with every beat. He was just trying to strike a nerve, she reasoned.

The little voice in her head chimed in. “He got to you.” That was enough for her cries to turn into sobs, the words cutting deeper than anything. No one could know, she thought bitterly.

But to Jake, this hurt more. Yes, the barbs about his crash getting Bear captured stung, but seeing Bear break down like this hurt him far more deeply than a few nasty words. “Teddy…” he breathed, stepping closer to her bed, momentarily forgetting that she didn’t know he was there.

“What.” Her words were snarled out, a guttural sound that made his blood chill. Bear couldn’t handle being the strong one right now; she needed to cry, needed to break down and slowly put herself back together. She had to grieve the parts of her that Saif and the others took from her. The pieces that hid the nastiness and ugliness that her job inflicted upon her. The parts that Hazard had warped beyond all recognition. So she wiped at her face, blew out a breath and turned to give whoever had interrupted her a piece of her mind.

At least that was what she was going to do.

Until she saw that it was Jake, and she couldn’t hold it back anymore. Fat, ugly sobs wracked her body as she slid from her bed to crumple on the floor like a puppet cut free of the strings that had held it together for far too long. After years of taking on everyone’s pain, mourning others, grieving in silence for everything she’d ever lost, now the dam broke. Bear had spent so long trying to disappear into her pain, never letting it see the light of day, refusing to inconvenience those around her, but every time she pushed it aside, there was always a tiny voice crying out “Find me please! Lead me out of the darkness!” Until now, no one had ever caught her and held her during this vulnerable moment. Until Jake, no one sought her out after something traumatic. Until him. “Please…” she choked out. “Please.”

It was freeing somehow, being held as she sobbed. Jake’s touch helped to ground her, the little nothings being whispered that she couldn’t hear over her tears, the steady thump of his heart beating; it all guided her through the anguish. “I’ve got you.” Those answering words, a quiet acknowledgement of her suffering.

Jake could do nothing but sit beside her, arms cradling a woman who had spent too long in control. It broke his heart to hear her quiet pleading, her begging for someone else to guide her, to let her have a moment to process. So he held on, letting his hand move up and down her back, doing his best to ground her. “I’ve got you,” he murmured through his own tears. “No one is taking us from each other again.”

Slowly, but surely, Bear began to calm down. Her hiccuping sobs left, until she sat there, exhausted and warm from Jake’s arms around her. “There she is,” he whispered, his own voice too hoarse from his own silent tears. “There’s my girl.”

“I’m here.” Her voice barely made a sound, but he heard her. “I’m… I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“No.” Jake grabbed her face gently, forcing her reddened eyes to look at him. “You do not get to apologize for something that you needed. You hear me?” He had used her name in those two sentences. No nickname, no pet name. Her name. “You needed to let it out. Carrying that around, that’s not healthy. And I will be here for you when you need to let go of your control. Just like you would do for me. Okay?”

Bear nodded, but that wasn’t enough for Jake. “I need words, pretty girl.” His voice caught briefly, a bit of emotion stuck in his throat as he sat there, watching a flurry of emotion pass through her eyes.

“Okay.” And she meant it. Letting go was so hard for her, a woman trapped in a man’s job, a man’s world where weakness wasn’t allowed. “Okay.” A feather-light kiss brushed her forehead and she felt Jake chuckle when her eyes fluttered shut at the gentle contact. “What?”

“Nothing.” Jake’s heart still hurt for her, but further past that, he felt so much love for her. Hell, he’d practically always loved her, but now, after watching her last wall crumble, he loved her far deeper than he could explain. It was like the last piece in a puzzle slotted together, like the catch of a tail hook when landing. Something so innate and natural that he could scarcely remember his life before Bear had slid into that missing place.

He pressed a soft kiss to her cheek, tasting the saltiness of her tears and continued to press kisses all over her face, trying to make her smile. He was successful; a small breathy chuckle left her lips. All she could spare after the tide of emotion that had coursed out of her. “What is that for?” She asked him, having buried her face back into his neck.

“No reason. Other than I love you.” The way he said it was so innocent, so young. It didn’t meld with the strong man whose arms held her tight. He was warm, patient, strong, and comforting. Exactly what she needed him to be at this moment.

Bear sighed, her heart full. No longer did the angst and anguish plague her. Yes, she still felt the sorrow that she always would for the woman she had been before all of this, but she had spent time living with it, not avoiding it. It would hurt for awhile, stuff like this always did, but Bear knew that with Jake beside her, she could handle it. She could and would work through it. But not tonight. Tonight, all she wanted to do was be held by the man she knew would be her forever. She wanted to crawl into a bubble that was just the two of them and live there forever. “I love you too, Jake.”

“Good. Now, I’m going to help you up and get you something to drink. Then, I’m going to come back and if you were planning on sleeping alone tonight, you can forget about that,” Jake told her, as he slowly helped her to her feet. Bear knew that she wobbled a little but he caught her so easily. “You okay for a bit, Teddy?”

“Yeah. I will be. Just… hurry?” Bear felt a little silly wanting him to stay, but the rational part of her brain told her insecurities to fuck off. She deserved good things, after all she would tell Jake the same. So why shouldn’t she believe it?

He nodded, watching Bear slide off into another head space. All it took was the feel of his fingers gliding over her wrist to shake her out of it. “I’ll be so quick you won’t know I’m gone. How’s that sound, darlin’?”

A shy smile met his firm but kind gaze. “That sounds perfect.”

“Good.” Jake went to drop another gentle kiss to her cheek, but Bear turned her head, directing him to kiss her. And he did, but he wasn’t expecting her to deepen it so suddenly. To lick into his mouth and kiss him with such a ferocity that he was almost certain came from the darkest parts of her.

When she pulled back, it was his turn to chase her lips, kissing her back with what felt like a fraction of the passion she was giving him. It was at that moment Jake realized just how deep her love for him went. Beyond the depths of her heart, beyond the vastness of the sky, farther and deeper than he had even thought possible for her. She loved him like he loved her: with every cell, every molecule in his body.

Jake finally pulled back, needing air, but he didn’t go far. “Goddamn darlin’, keep kissin’ me like that an’ you’ll have a whole ‘nother problem.” He couldn’t help the husky drawl that slipped free of his throat, and it gave him great pleasure to see Bear shiver at his tone. “I’m gonna go grab that water, you get changed. Okay?”

Bear nodded, her pupils still blown from the passion of the kisses they shared. She chewed on her lip, suddenly shy under the intensity of his gaze. “Okay. Yeah, umm… you should go do that,” Bear told him, finally finding her voice. “I’ll just…”

Jake chuckled, shooting her a wink before slipping out the door and into the hall. He found himself having to lean against the wall, letting his head fall back to express against the cool metal. “Fucking hell,” he muttered, blowing out a deep breath. “What am I gonna do with you, Teddy?”

===

When he returned with a water bottle in hand some time later, Jake found Bear half asleep on top of her covers, dressed in shorts and a large t-shirt. It made him chuckle to himself as he stepped closer, trying to avoid the flailing arms that tended to happen when he had tried to wake her up before. “Hey darlin’.” His voice was low but the softness in his whisper made her stir just a little.

“Hey.” Bear cracked an eye open and glanced blearily up at Jake. She could just make out his floppy hair and his arm holding out a water bottle. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“All good, Teddy. Drink up, it should make the headache that you’re trying to hide go away.” Jake knelt over her on the bed, wiggling as close as he could while Bear sat up to sip at the water handed to her.

“Thank you.”

“C’mon, you don’t gotta thank me for somethin’ that simple. That’s just basic decency.” Jake waved off her gratitude in favor of clambering under the blankets and patting the spot next to him.

Bear swallowed thickly. “I meant earlier. A lot of guys would have left me alone if they walked in and saw that.” Her voice was small, almost like she was trying to hide.

She watched his jaw clench in anger at her words. Not at her, no, never at her, but at the assholes that had convinced her that she wasn’t worth being around. That she didn’t deserve to be soft. “That’s a load of bull shit and you know that, Teddy. I said that I’d be here for as long as you want me to be, till the bitter end and back again. I am going to keep that promise.” Jake’s tone had softened as he took in her awkward positioning. “Now come on. Let’s actually get to sleep, okay?”

“That sounds good.” Bear slid under the blankets next to him, pressing herself tight to his side and pillowing her head on his chest, pleased at the warmth his body gave off. “Love you,” she murmured into his shirt.

“Love you too.” Jake pulled her impossibly closer to him, rolling a little to envelop her in his arms. It brought him peace to do so, holding his girl tightly in such a way that she couldn’t be taken from him, nor he from her. He felt calm in this moment of closeness and it took nothing for him to drift off into dreamland, pulling Bear along with him.

===

Jake woke to the feeling of fingers trailing along his chest, gently tracing the ridges of his pecs. “Morning,” he grunted, catching the hand that had continued its ministrations. “Gotta say, that’s still one hell of a sight. Waking up next to you.”

Bear flushed at having been caught ogling, but Jake didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he seemed rather proud of himself at having caught her in the act if the thumb tracing her knuckles was any indication. “Morning Jake,” she whispered, chewing on her bottom lip as she took in the sleepiness of his face that slowly faded the longer she lay and watched him.

“Sleep well?” The gravelly rumble of his voice sent shivers down her spine and had Bear clenching her thighs together once, twice at the sound.

She nodded, a small smile beginning to show itself on her face. “I did. Did you?”

Jake blinked the last of sleep from his eyes, propping himself up on his elbow, watching Bear trace the lines in his face. “Mmmm. Slept great. I gotta be careful now. If I keep fallin’ asleep next to this pretty lil thing, I might not get outta bed in the morning.” He squeezed her hand, watching as Bear’s face erupted in a fierce blush.

“Stop it.” Bear knew her face and ears had turned a bright red and under Jake’s stare, the color only deepened. She turned away, hiding her face in the pillow that had slipped away from them during the night.

“Uh uh. Hold on now. Running away on me, Teddy?” Jake knew the effects his voice had on Bear, it was practically written on her face in capital letters. So sue him if he relished in his ability to fluster her beyond all shadow of a doubt. “Can’t have you doin’ that, now can we?”

She didn’t answer him, choosing to bury her face deeper into the pillow. Everything about the man behind her sent up a cloud of butterflies that went racing through her stomach and lungs whenever he so much as looked at her with mischief sparkling in those green eyes.

“Teddy…” his tone held a playful warning and if Bear had deigned to meet his eyes, she would have seen the teasing hiding within them. It took him nothing to roll her under him, grinning down at her after she let out the minute shriek she had. “I did warn you.”

Bear swatted at his chest, her face still bright red. “Get off me!”

“Hmmm. I don’t think I will.” Jake knew he was being a little shit, but he just couldn’t help himself. Everything about Bear in the morning had him ready to go. The second she gave the okay, she was his in every way he had desired since he had seen her in action. The mere thought had blood rushing from his head so quickly that it made him dizzy. “You gotta do something for me first.”

She rolled her eyes, swatting him again. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“Deadly.”

“Fine.” Bear reached up and pulled Jake on top of her, kissing him deeply. “Better?”

Jake blinked. “Ummm… can I get back to you in three to seven business days?”

“You tease.”

“You love me.”

She grinned. “I do. And I have to get to work.”

“Noooo,” he whined, putting his whole weight on top of her. He was trying desperately to keep her close to him, knowing that she would bury herself in her work and leave him all alone all day. “You can’t go.”

“Jake, honey.” Bear would have laughed if she didn’t have the full weight of her man on top of her. “Please. I have things to do.”

“I’m a thing, do me,” Jake quipped back, grinning down at her. “Come on, just a little longer.”

Bear began to wiggle under him, trying to free herself. “If I stay here any longer, I won’t get up,” she tried to reason. “Please Jake. I’ll come by around lunch time like I did yesterday.”

“Fine,” he grumbled, rolling over and letting her get up, but not before grabbing her hips and pulling her back onto the bed with a screech. Jake had stuck his fingers in her sides under the shirt she wore and begun tickling her.

“Wh-whyyyyyyyy!” Bear tried to say over her giggles. “Jake - wwwwhyyyyyy - stoppppp!” She was batting at his hands, trying and failing to stop him, until a flailing elbow nearly took him out, and finally he relented.

“There we go. My mama always said that starting the day off laughing would always make it better,” Jake reasoned as he took in Bear who lay sprawled across his lap.

“Did she now?” Bear looked up at him, humming to herself as she watched humor dance on Jake’s face above her. The soft look in his eyes damn near stole her breath and she found herself wondering for a moment how she of all people managed to snare him. Jake was far better than she deserved, but hours earlier, she had told herself that she deserved happiness. Jake was that happiness and if he wanted her, which he did, Bear knew that everything would work itself out.

He hummed, watching himself in her eyes. The crinkles in the corners as she gave him a soft smile that he knew matched his own only had him falling impossibly deeper. Here Bear was vulnerable, open, trusting, and he was the only one who got to see this. “She did. She’d love you.”

The woman in question smiled up at him, leaning up to press her lips to his quickly before slipping from his grasp. “It sounds like I’d love her too.” Bear’s smile couldn’t help but grow as she watched Jake perch on her bunk, blankets pooling around his hips, his green eyes fixated on her every movement. “After all. She did raise you.”

Jake scoffed, rolling his eyes at her words. “I was a hellion.” His words were fond, just like the smile that had seemed to permanently adorn his face.

Bear merely grinned, stripping off her pajamas and dressing in her uniform. She could feel Jake’s gaze raking over the scars on her back before they finally dipped to the curve of her ass and thighs. He wasn’t even being subtle, the concept seeming to elude him the longer he watched Bear move about the tiny room. “Of that,” Bear paused to grab her hair elastic before she continued, “I am 100 percent certain.”

“Tease.”

“Menace.”

Jake stood up, coming to stand in behind her before ducking his head down to rest on her shoulder. He trailed feather-light kisses up the curve of her neck, reveling in the subtle shiver that raced through her body. He didn’t want her to leave and he said as much against her, punctuating his words with a playful nip.

Bear’s face was bright red and she was suddenly very thankful that Jake wasn’t looking her in the eyes. She knew that her desire for him danced in them and that wasn’t something that could be solved right now. Right now, she had a meeting to attend with the ship’s officers. “Jake…”

“Mmm…” he hummed against her skin, mesmerized by the softness and her scent. It took her turning around, hands coming up to hold his face to hers, for Jake to be dislodged from his thoughts. “I heard you, Teddy.”

Bear kissed him softly and stepped back. “Good news is, we should be docking tomorrow.” She had grabbed her watch and was fastening it as she spoke. “I’ll see you later.”

===

Up in the command center, Bear found herself standing before a video call with Admiral Harris. “Sir. Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Yes Commander. You are to disembark a day early due to reasons that are already known to you. Reasons that transpired during the operation known as Hellfire.” The Admiral’s tone was firm, but Bear knew that there was some genuine concern for her lurking deep, deep down. “Your orders are the following: pack your belongings, meet the Lincoln’s Commander on deck to prep for disembarkment, and most importantly, you do not breathe a word of this to anyone until after our debrief has occurred. Am I clear, Commander?”

Bear’s heart sank. She couldn’t tell anyone. Not Bug. Not Mav. Not Jake. The things that this could do to their sprouting relationship. Would it kill it completely? Or could they work past this?

She had to believe that they could. It would only be for a day, right? So Bear nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat. “Crystal clear, Sir.”

“Good. I will see you at the pier, Commander.” And just like that, the video feed cut out, leaving Bear standing and staring at her reflection in the black computer screen.

God. What had she agreed to?

She did as ordered. Except she broke the last rule. She had written a letter to Jake explaining her sudden absence and that he couldn’t say a word. It pained her to do so. Harris’s words had sunk into her, forcing her hand like a rudder guiding a ship, but she had to tell Jake. So in a letter penned and slipped into the pocket of his hoodie that she folded up and placed on her bed, Bear told him what she could.

Jake,

I know my absence is sudden and strange, but please know that I had very little say in the matter. Admiral Harris has requested that I leave early in order to discuss my outburst back in Riyadh. I don’t want to leave you, I really don’t, but I have to do this.

I will miss the bunk cuddles tonight, the comfort you bring from just standing beside me, and the way your touch makes me feel like I am safe in your arms. You are the first man who has ever understood me in such a way and I am so happy that we had our moments these last few days. Unfortunately I have no idea how long I will be gone or when I can contact you again. So until then, please know that I love you more than I can ever express.

I would run out of ink in all the world’s pens before I could ever adequately explain the depth of my feelings for you. But I will settle for this: I love you, Jake, to the bitter end and back again.

All my love,

Your Teddy

That was all she had time to do before the officer escorting her to the deck knocked on her door, stealing away her last moments aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln.

Hopefully it would be enough.

===

A/N: Okay. I’m sorry about all of that. Big thanks to @startrekfangirl2233 and @sarahsmi13s for proofreading this. And an even bigger thanks to @dakotakazansky for helping reformat everything from chapter 14 until now, because this reveal required a lot of extra planning.

Taglist: @horseshoegirl @roosters-girl @lovinglyeternal @lavenderbradshaw @roosterforme @bobby-r2d2-floyd @bradleybeachbabe @footprintsinthesxnd @twsssmlmaa @fandomxpreferences @dempy @gizmodear @fighterpilothoe @chaoticassidy @eli2447 @iwantmyredvelvetcupcake @djs8891 @rhirhikingston @sisterslytherinog @impossiblebagelcowboyfreak @sgt-barnesveins @taytaylala12 @urmom-999 @formulapierre @pinkpantheris @havlindzk @a-beaverhausen @killcomet @buxkybarnez @topgunruinedme @hangmanscoming @smoothdogsgirl @a-court-of-roscoe-and-baby

[ordowrites]

OMG YOU WRITE FOR WANDERER!!

Can you do C, D, J, K, O and V please??

HELLO YES I DO A BELOVED HE IS V SMOOCHABLE EVEN IF HE WOULD DO THE STABBY (it would be worth it)

cw: nsfw, minors dni! some breeding / pregnancy mentions, yandere themes, pet play - ish, GN reader (referred to as partner and pet in this)

(for continuity, I'll just call him Wanderer in this but it can be for any iteration!)

(ask game)

C um - Anything to do with cum, basically

SO here's the fun thing - I like to play around with the idea that he does not actually have a dick, so he doesn't produce semen! (trans!scara propaganda on this blog). However, this lad would be a fun of using dragon dildos - you know those ones that produce fake cum? Yeah, he loves using those. The upside is the fact that he can choose the size, consistency and whatnot.

He does have a slight cum eating fetish, so if his partner has a dick, he takes his time to enjoy it. With partners who have a vagina, he just adores watching it drip from their cunt and shoves it right back in.

(bonus is no surprise kids, but can puppets have children?)

D irty secret - Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs

SO he has a few - this man is kind of an obsessive lover. He is a bit of hyperfixated lover and one who always wants to feel close to the person who has his affections and attention - so he'll steal stuff of theirs. Not to wear, but to have. Maybe even get off to. Whether it's normal clothes, underwear, or just things from his partners house.

(A dirty fantasy of his is that he'd love to keep his lover locked up in a home, so they could never leave him. But is it really a dirty secret if he's expressed it once or twice? But don't worry, he won't do anything to warrant such...actions.)

This likely doesn't qualify but he definitely stalks his partner quite often - only to see how they're doing, of course. Anyone who looks at his partner slightly wrong just seems to go missing.

J ack off - Masturbation headcanon

He doesn't masturbate often - he doesn't really ever feel the desire to. But he loves watching his partner get themselves off. For Scaramouche (or the Wanderer), it's an enjoyable and interesting experience. Often times, this is how sex starts for himself and his partner.

He'll tell them what toys to use, how to use them - sometimes he'll mimic their actions on his own body. If he's feeling particularly spicy and mean, he'll tie his partner up and make them watch as he gets himself off while taunting them.

K ink - One or more of their kinks

For someone who was an experiment for Dottore, Wanderer actually has a small medical kink. Something about the cold metal table, metal bondage, and the complete fear and helplessness.

He also likes choking, marking his partner up with bites where they can't be hidden, and some humiliation.

Also - he'll never quite admit this out loud, but the Wanderer has a fetish for clothed and outdoor sex. Something about breaking rules, nearly being caught, and knowing his partner just can't keep their voice down when they're begging for him to fuck them or for release. Tsk.

O ral - Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.

He actually likes to receive more than give, oddly enough - for someone who doesn't masturbate, he certainly likes to be on the receiving end of oral. There's just something about his partner with their arms bound behind their back, on their knees and in between his legs while they rut against his leg to get themself off. Oh - and add a collar and leash he can pull on, of course.

(he's also very good at giving oral, but oral is a nice reward to give to well behaved pets, you know? they have to ask him nicely for him to consider it, and hell, he'll do it on a whim if he's feeling particularly nice or frisky)

V olume - How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.

Oh, the Wanderer tries to be as quiet as possible - but in private, he's very noisy. Loud moans, gasps, and grunts. He tends to curse more often, too - especially if he's close to orgasm. Sure, the Wanderer teases his partner for being noisy themself, but the man sure is loud.

[drama--universe]

Quick confession

Requested by anonymous: Hello there! I once sent you a request for Xichen (for the mask reader), so here I am again with a new request for Xichen, because there is never enough Xichen!😁A reader from another clan who has a certain rule - not to reveal her true name unless it's someone she can fully trust. This is a form of safety since most cultivators were persecuted or wanted for various reasons (to be sold, convicted for something they didn't do, etc.), later a clan was formed so that these people could live a normal and safe life. So these cultivators use a alias, a nickname. From the beginning, she was mostly independent and not very social, which gave rise to her nickname - The Loner. She meets Xichen when she comes to Cloud recesses for lessons. Xichen hears the other disciples slandering her, that she's not a cultivator, but a coward, a fugitive, a traitor. They also laughed at her because of her nickname. Xichen was a little sad that she always walked alone and hardly talked to anyone. But once the disciples went so far as to make a very harsh joke of her. She didn't expect it, so she didn't have time to defend herself, because she was thrown to the ground, in which she injured her hand. Seeing this, Xichen sent Wangji to find and punish the disciples while he took care of her injuries. It was such a loving and kind gesture to the reader that she finally revealed her real name to him. And Xichen knew that meant she had full confidence in him. Later they fell in love❤️❤️❤️

Pairing: Lan Xichen x fem!reader

Word Count: 2.0k words

The Loner, a name that felt so familiar and yet so distant. Xichen was surprised when he finally met the person behind the name, whether it was a chosen one or a given one, and even more when he realized that you were here for the lessons at Cloud Recesses. However, he was not pleased to see you wander alone at any time he saw you. Like right now, as he walked next to his brother while talking about something involving Lan Qiren's lessons, and you were all alone.

You were dressed in your own clan clothing, white underclothes and turquoise dress on top of it with a golden belt that held multiple trinkets along with your sword. Xichen had to admit that you looked ethereal, which was partially thanks to your clear confidence as you walked. While yes, you were all alone, you didn't look unhappy with the loneliness. Rather, you looked relaxed if anything.

The first time he tried to approach you, you didn't talk to him in the slightest. You nodded along to his statements before excusing yourself and walking off, which ended the first interaction between the two of you. The second and third went about the same way, just a bit longer than the previous ones.

This time, Xichen relucted in approaching you. It was clear that you were rather alone, not talking to anyone and choosing to study in lonesome. However, his eyes were still trained on your form as you walked, hands neatly folded in front of you with your head high. It was quite ironic, how you tried to remain invisible and yet had all eyes on you. Only, it was clearly not out of interest like Xichen's gaze and rather something else. Disdain, pity or even hate... It was obvious to you, but you chose to ignore it.

Until the dam breaks and all emotions break lose, but not yours.

Rather, the emotions of a group of seven Lan disciplines were the ones that broke and they chose to take that out on you. Now you weren't unfamiliar with taunting, quite the opposite if anything, and you certainly weren't unfamiliar with the hatred that the Lan disciplines had for you. You were everything they were against, or at least that's why they believed at first glance. A coward, a runaway and traitor. All names were often used to describe you, some more than others, and all were insulting in every way.

Today wasn't any different.

"Loner!" The nickname you grew accustomed to and hated at the same time, yet you responded to it every time as well. With a slight turn of the head to acknowledge the call, the seven disciplines approached you with sneers on their faces. One of them stepped closer, a bit too close for comfort, and pushed your shoulder softly with their hand. You didn't care much for it, rather you chose to ignore the rude gesture and instead focus on the conversation at hand.

"Shouldn't you be running now, coward?" One sneers and you almost wanted to scoff, but didn't get the chance as the next insults rang. They ranged from normal insults to degrading words that you had never heard before. Xichen didn't even need to hear anything that was said, your expression said enough, being one of shock and slight disgust. Inching closer, Xichen could hear the conversation much more clearly.

"Is it true you just left your companions to die? I mean, they all said that you just ran off like a coward." "They were torturing the demon and I wasn't going to wait for his friends to show up and kill us all." You answered, to which you were harshly shoved back.

"Watch it, those are my elders." Another one of the group sneered before shoving you even harder, which ended up in you stumbling down due to your dress. You fell to the ground, softening your landing by stretching your hands behind you and in turn landing on your hands first. A sharp pain shot up your left hand, reaching 'till your elbow before stopping as you lifted your arm again. Now sat on the ground and arm cradled against your chest, the people surrounding you suddenly felt much more threatening. They loomed above you, all grinning menacingly at you, staring at you like you were prey. You felt small, all confidence from before now long gone.

"You don't deserve to be called a cultivator, you and your whole clan of traitors. You run like cowards and hide behind silly names. You're a -" "That's quite enough." Lan Xichen's voice rang out, freezing everybody in the area as they heard the tone of his voice. Xichen was kind and gentle, yet now his voice sounded cold and distant that it was terrifying. The disciplines scrambled together, all coming up with different explanation that would make it seem like they did not just break a million of their own rules. It didn't seem to matter, however, as Xichen gaze moved to you. He crouched beside you, gently helping you up before moving his head towards to his younger brother.

"Take care of their punishment... Make sure the elders also get investigated, because if watch she says is true then they will receive punishment as well." Xichen said and Wangji bows his head before turning to the disciplines while Xichen guides you away. Although you could walk fine, Xichen's arm remained around your waist as he walked you to the doctor to check out your hand. Like expected, your hand was sprained along with a small fracture in your hand. With a simple splint and bandages, you were sent away again with some pain relieving medicines.

"Thank you for your help." You turned to Xichen again, bowing your head to him before softly whispering your name. Xichen didn't hear, however, so you repeated it louder.

"(Y/f/n). That's my name... Please only call me that in private." You bowed your head once more before turning away and walking off awkwardly.

From then on, you were a bit more social than before. You greeted others awkwardly before finding your way to Xichen's side and happily talking to him instead. He is quite surprised to hear the strict rules from your own clan, even more surprised when he learned that him knowing your name was a rather big deal to say the least. Then again, he could not freely use your name when he pleased and thus he opted for nicknames that left you a blushing mess.

The first was simple, just blossom. This was followed by lotus and eventually sunshine, which is where it remained since it had the biggest reaction from you. No matter how many times he called you by that name, it always made your face heat up and render you speechless. You didn't know why, maybe because it was coming from him specifically. He wasn't one that you expected something like that from, he didn't seem like a type to call someone rather flirty names. At least that's how you perceived it, anyway.

Now how you got here, was a bigger mystery. If anyone had told you that you'd be here in Xichen's room later in the evening, then you would've laughed at them before moving on with your life. Yet here you were, awkwardly drinking the tea before you while Xichen just stared. Not an uncomfortable one, as weird as that sounded, and rather a loving one that made your stomach flip and your heart beat just a bit faster.

"May I ask you a question?" Xichen suddenly asked and you looked up from your cup before nodding as you put it down, giving a soft smile. Xichen returned the smile with one of his own before clearing his throat softly.

"Your clan doesn't talk about themselves nor do they often interact with other clans, so why are you here?" "Honest answer or the nice answer?" You asked with a smile and Xichen raised an eyebrow at this before answering with 'an honest answer'. You looked away slightly with a sigh before turning back to Xichen.

"I was bored..." You held back your laughter successfully for a few seconds before bursting into giggles as you looked at your hands again.

"It's stupid, I know~ But I barely having anyone my age to talk to and the elders are... Well, I'm sure you understand." You giggled again before grabbing your teacup again and casually sipping from it while watching Xichen's reaction. For a few seconds, he looked confused before he joined your giggling with his own soft laugh.

"Ridiculous, huh?" "No, no. I understand." Xichen spoke with a shake of his hand, all while trying to hide his smile from you. Unsuccessfully, of course, as you immediatley caught the action.

"You're laughing at me... Really?" You scoffed at him jokingly, to which he only smiled at you once again before filling his cup and yours again. Lifting the cup to his lips, he halted before talking again.

"I hope it's to your liking then." Downing the cup of tea, he stood up from his spot and lifting the tea pot while moving to make another.

"Ah, you don't have to. I should leave anyway... It's improper for me to stay here so late in the evening, people will talk." "Now since when has that bothered you?" Xichen spoke as he lifted the pot up above the fire, filling it with water and herbs before returning to his seat opposite of you.

"One more tea pot can't hurt, the sun hasn't gone down yet either." He continued, sighing softly as you nodded and agreed to his proposal.

"Spending so much time with me, some might say you're in love with me." You joked, quickly stretching your back and legs before looking back at Xichen. He wore a soft and yet surprised smile, which made you freeze for a few seconds.

"What?" "Do people say that? That I'm in love with you?" He asked and your eyes widened before shrugging, sipping your tea. "I mean, some do... I talk to you exclusively and you listen, so." You chuckled awkwardly, but stopped again when his expression changed to an amused expression.

"I did not think my emotions were so clear to everyone, I'll have to work on that." With another chuckle, he moved back to remove the kettle from the fire and letting it cool down. You, on the other hand, were staring at him in shock. How someone could just speak their feelings so easily without any care, saying it like it meant nothing even when it meant so much. Then again, Lan's were prohibited to lie about anything so maybe that was a reason for his bluntness.

"You're in love with me?" You asked, just to be sure that you had heard what he said just right, and Xichen nodded before adding that he wishes to court you as well. Like his first statement wasn't shocking enough, he drops an even bigger one and once again it's like it's just an average statement.

"You are aware that people don't usually say that out loud so easily, right?" "Now since when were we normal? It's no fun that way." He chuckled at you to which you only rolled your eyes at him before filling your cup again.

"I love you, (Y/n). I know it might be early to say something like that, but I can't deny it." He confessed once more, much more softly than before as he took ahold of your hand. You looked at him before laughing softly.

"Well, you're not the only one in love. So lucky you, huh?" You chuckled at him before pulling your hand back, downing your tea before getting up.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow." You softly kissed the crown of his head before walking out of the room with a smile. Xichen stared at his hand, which he held yours in, before laughing softly. At least he'd have enough time to come up with some new sickening love declaration.

[red-hot-temper]

Callisto apology

Before I continue interacting in VADD fandom, I would like to share my opinion about Callisto and his controversial first interaction with Penelope:

Callisto did nothing wrong by pointing his sword at Penelope, he was protecting himself because he thought she was a threat.

What I do agree with is that he was a fucking jerk when after the confession he "played" for a while with Penelope and her responses… And I was also a jerk for laughing at that, feeling bad about Penelope's stress, but not regret laughing (Don't play innocent because I know someone else laughed at that too lmao)

So yes, I completely understand if Callisto's taunting bothered you, because he behaved annoyingly, but getting upset that he was on guard? I'm sorry, but I really don't understand that. I know there are people who don't like to see violence, but it makes sense to me that he would react that way. They literally sent him an assassin early on, why wouldn't he still be on alert after that?

The fact is always brushed off as he did it because he was blinded with rage, but then why have a conversation where it's clearly revealed that Callisto is on guard over Penelope's actions?

Penelope was waiting for Callisto, but he wasn't, so it does look suspicious to meet someone who seems to be looking for something or someone insistently (in the novel it was mentioned that Penelope was looking in all directions)

The story is told from the perspective of Penelope/Siyeon and therefore we empathize faster with her and I can understand that anger towards him for our overprotection that we have towards our protagonist, but! The empress sent an assassin to Callisto, he went to his brother's birthday party bringing the murderer's half-dead, he gave a threatening speech disguised as a birthday present and… immediately afterwards, he decapitated the assassin and threw his head at the feet of his brother while the witch empress almost fainted (see later in paragraph "1.") … All while Penelope was witness to it…

So we all know the story: she went after him like yolo, let's find the reset button or die trying. I perfectly understand her point and also the fact that she regrets it later, it's obvious that she's going to try to survive no matter what. But I need to emphasize this, because when she mentions that she "sincerely came to comfort him", we as readers knew that she was lying, but Callisto? I'm 100% sure he was thinking: I cut off someone's head in front of several nobles, and I'm the one who needs to be consoled?

This was why he didn't believe her confession of love, not only because she told him "I like you", but that consolation thing doesn't make sense (and Oh God I can't blame Penny because when you're desperate you make terrible and illogical excuses jksjskjs)

So yeah, I don't condemn the fact that Callisto defended himself, If I were in his position I would do the same, but he was definitely a bastard making Penelope fool.

1. In case you didn't read the first few chapters of the novel and just picked up where the manhwa left off, this happened and was censored in the manhwa:

“So why didn’t you choose a proper attendant, younger brother?”

That was the moment. Seureung----The prince drew his sword in an instant with his empty hand, and cut the assassin's head as he was holding it.

Cheak-! The blood started gushing out like a fountain.

"I'll replace this as a birthday present."

The prince threw the severed head at the feet of the second prince.

"Aaaagh!"

The empress' tearing screams echoed through the banquet hall. The head of a person rolling around like a ball.

The 2nd prince couldn't say anything with a pale face like someone about to pass out.

“If you want to receive another gift from me, send it as many times as you like.”

[feeblescholarmyass]

Chapter Two: Alhaitham

cw: modern au (whoops), sfw, noise overstimulation, cursing (once or twice I think), 2nd POV, not proofread

Sumeru Boys x GN! Reader

masterlist | prev | next

Chat: Darshans

"If I were to choose any darshan that isn't my own, I personally would choose Haravatat. I didn't because there are too many essays… same thing with Rhawatist. That's what I like about Amurta, oftentimes the results speak for themselves."

"Oh, Alhaitham, it's you."

It seems he did not mean to ask a question, because he did not push for you to answer for your presence. You glanced at him a couple times during the beginning of class before eventually relaxing and easing into your studies.

Your professor was a tall and lanky man, who looked overly exhausted. He had a slight Fontaine accent, and he gave you the feeling that he once had big dreams that he had long since given up on. It was something about that dull look in his eyes that made you pity the man. Whatever small pity you held for him, however, did not stop you for glaring daggers at the back of his skull after he announced that the very first project of the year would be an introductory presentation completely in the language of Old Fontaine.

As class wrapped up, you began to pack up your things. This was your last class of the day, and you were ready to go have dinner with Layla. Finally, the class was finished. You had taken notes to the best of your ability, but you were one-hundred percent sure that you wouldn’t remember anything that happened today any better than you remembered what your cousins’ names were (which was to say, poorly).

Just as you began to stand up, you felt someone watching you. You glanced behind you and met eyes with Alhaitham. What does he need? You wondered, staring blankly into his eyes. He blinked, as if confused. Whatever small expression his face had held disappeared as soon as it had come, leaving him with the same blatant disinterest he had shown previously.

“You have very neat handwriting; it accompanies the language well.” He spoke. As far as you could tell, it was a sincere compliment. His lack of tone made guessing a little difficult, but he certainly didn’t seem to be taunting you.

“Yours as well. I would have admired it a lot when I was a child.” You nodded, holding your tongue. You would have admired a lot more than his handwriting if you had met him when you were younger. If you had known him, he would have been very likely to be the unlucky victim of practically idolization due to your lack of social skills. You cringed, shaking away the memories of your own awkwardness.

He walked next to you as you left the room, not bothering to hold the door for you. You hadn’t expected it, but you certainly noticed the door swinging a little wider than necessary, allowing you to slip out behind him while still shuffling your belongings around in your bag.

You walked beside each other in silence, and eventually stopped at the same spot in front of the building. “Are you waiting for someone?” You asked, holding your hair back. The wind was blowing hard enough that it was inconvenient, and you didn’t have a hair band within reach.

“Yes, I am supposed to be taking my roommate home. If he doesn’t show up soon I’m leaving without him.” He also brushed back a particularly long section of hair, glancing down at you.

“Fair,” you muttered, setting down your bag so you could find your emergency stash of hair ties. Layla had a tendency to ignore weather warnings and the sorry state of her own hair care items, so you always had some extra things on hand. You grabbed two from their respective pocket and held one our to Alhaitham.

A small look of amusement pulled at his lips. “For me?”

“Yes, for you. I don’t see any other person in need of one standing next to me.” You shoved it into his hand and tied your own hair back. When you looked back at him, he had a cute little braid that held his bangs in place.

You stood next to each other in silence a while longer until you heard a frantic, out-of breath voice calling your name. “Y/n! Y/n! I’m so sorry, I fell asleep during class and-” Layla huffed, grabbing your hand. Alhaitham looked at the her, biting back a smart comment.

“It’s okay, Layla. We don’t have a reservation or anything.” You smiled and patted her head, attempting to calm her frazzled nerves. “Keep the hair tie, I’ve got plenty. Buh-bye!” You told Alhaitham and gave him a little wave. He returned the gesture, then watched as you dragged Layla away.

“Buh-bye.” He muttered, a little amused. He hadn’t heard anyone over the age of nine say that as far as he could remember, much less a college student. He could see why Tighnari had been speaking your praises all morning. You were such a cute little underclassman, and not too intense either. You had been interesting to watch during class, and kind enough to lend him a hair tie. Yes, it wasn’t much, but it was still a gesture he could appreciate. He found himself looking forward to seeing you again tomorrow.

“So… Alhaitham, huh? I guess you’re just making friends with all the upperclassmen now. Or are you just going after the pretty ones?” Layla teased. You sighed and shook your head, smiling as you rummaged through your closet. Layla had already picked out an outfit from your collection of her clothes that you had happened upon over the years of your friendship, and was now waiting for you to finish finding one. You debated a complimentary blue dress to go with Layla’s, but ended up wearing one of your go-to outfits.

"He's in my language class. It wasn't a big deal of anything," you waved your hand, adding a few accessories. "What shoes go with this?"

"Stop avoiding the question," Layla slumped against your mattress. "He fits your type perfectly. Actually, most of Tighnari's friend group fits your type…"

"Pfft. Me? A type? In men? Good one, Layla. What exactly would my 'type' entail? Besides, it's nothing anyway." You snickered while pulling your hair out of your face. The wind had calmed since that afternoon, but not by much, and you weren't planning on taking chances with messing up how nice you looked.

"Well, for one, you like smart people. You don't feel dragged down by having to explain complicated concepts to them, and you can have a conversation about your interests without sounding like a mad scientist."

"Rude," you interjected.

"You know it's true," Layla rolled her eyes at you. "Besides that, you've admitted it yourself. Beautiful men with pretty eyes are your second weakness."

"Right behind cute animals… shit, Layla, why do you have to remember what I say?" You whined, setting down your things and turning to your friend.

"I wonder the same thing sometimes," Layla sighed. "Anyways, are you ready to go?"

You hummed in response, picking up your bag with your wallet in it. The two of you got into your car, a gift from your father that was running on hopes and dreams plus a little bit of dad magic, and drove to the restaurant.

Ever since the two of you were little, you had both loved this restaurant. When your parents asked where you wanted to go out to eat, you almost always ended up there. You each had your favorite meal, but the food was so good you were up to try practically anything on the menu. The cozy, warm vibe combined with your casual familiarity with the family that ran the place were just the cherries on top of the cake that was the delicious food.

Tonight wasn't supposed to be any different than all the ones before. Comfort food after long, exhausting days littered your memory throughout the years for almost as long as you could remember. The only thing that had changed was the company you came with. It used to be a family thing, but ever since you had learned to drive, you started going with just Layla instead of a big group.

That was exactly what you had expected for dinner, but apparently fate had other plans. Just as you had taken a seat, you felt a twinge of déjà vu. Layla blanched, grasping frantically at the table cloth.

"You felt that too, right? That sense of… foreboding?" You muttered, reaching for her hand.

"Yes," Layla hissed, whirling around to look at the door. "I am too tired for whatever is about to happen. I have this awful feeling that this isn't going to be a quick meal."

She was right. You turned just in time to catch sight of certain seniors of yours wandering through the door. Anxiety shot through you like a bullet as you hurried to look away and act normal. As anyone who has ever tried to "act normal" knows, it didn't go too well.

"Well, look who it is, the cute freshman! Hey, Y/n!" Kaveh grinned at you. You gritted your teeth and tried to get your erratic heartbeat under control.

"Dinner sure is gonna be fun," you grumbled, putting on a smile and ignoring the burning feeling in your face. "Hey, Kaveh, company."

"Mind if we join you? This is our first time here." Cyno gestured to the empty seats next to you. You glanced at the seats, silently cursing their availability.

It wasn't that you didn't like the group, no, you had loved meeting them today. It was just that you had been expecting a nice relaxing dinner without too much social pressure to unwind from the very overwhelming day.

"Sure," you said, unable to think of any relatively polite way to turn them down.

"Oh, can't you three see that they look downright exhausted? Let's sit elsewhere and let the poor underclassmen have a break." Tighnari shook his head and sighed.

"Oh! Well, now that you mention it…" Kaveh trailed off, turning a little pink in the face. "Sorry about that," he chuckled, waving his hands around.

"N-no, please sit! We don't mind. The night is still young and there is plenty of time to rest after dinner. I won't always get to have dinner with you bunch, after all! Might as well celebrate a first day of school survived together!"

Layla eyed you suspiciously, but didn't say anything. "Yes, we don't mind."

The four boys sat besides you, this time with Alhaitham to your side and Cyno next to Layla, across from you.

The group started a lighthearted conversation while they waited for the food to be ready, one you didn't participate in. You tried your hardest to listen, but there were so many people talking and you couldn't focus on one specific voice.

You stood, placing your hands on the table. "Sorry, I'll be right back." You hurried to the single person restroom, where you hurriedly locked the door and covered your ears.

"Come on, Y/n, calm down. You're an adult now, you can handle a little noise." You took a few deep breaths before brushing your hair out of your face and looking in the mirror. "Look at you. You look great, you feel great, you are great. You've got this."

Just as you started to feel better, a knock on the door threw you back into a panic. "Y/n? Are you doing alright?" Layla's voice sounded muffled from behind the heavy door. "If you need to, we can leave-"

"No! Everything is fine, I just needed a second. I'm okay, don't worry. I'm just about done, actually. Go sit back down, I'll be there in a second!" You put some effort into sounding happier than you felt. Smiling and pretending to be happy is proven to improve an individual's mood, after all.

You left the restroom after another set of deep breaths and slid back into your seat. Alhaitham glanced at you with a blank expression, and you made sure to smile bigger.

"Sorry about that! What did I miss?" You asked. As Kaveh filled you in to the current contents of the conversation, you pressed your fingertips into your thigh to try and stave the buzzing underneath your skin.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Alhaitham typing out something. He tilted his phone discreetly in your direction, noting your eyes flicking towards him.

To repay you for earlier, was the only text on the screen. He put down his phone and reached up, removing his headphones and placing them on your ears. Instantly, all of that noise you had heard before faded away. All you could hear was the conversation at hand, which faded to silence when Kaveh stared wide-eyed at the both of you.

You blinked and tilted your head at Alhaitham, but he shook his head at you. "Save it, I'm only repaying a favor. That means you too, Kaveh. Stop gaping like a fish and eat."

The group turned, spotting their food. Once people started eating, things quieted down significantly. When the buzzing disappeared fully, you returned Alhaitham's headphones to him and carried on with talking, feeling much better now.

When dinner was done and paid for, you stopped Alhaitham on the way out. "Hey, um, thank you. That was really considerate of you."

"Considerate? Hardly. It was plain as day that you weren't feeling well, and I had a solution. I didn't go out of my way at all. I simply was returning a favor. Save your thanks for another time." He spoke plainly, bored with the conversation. There was no reason for you to thank him for something so elementary.

"Oh," you wrapped your arms around yourself, feeling the chill of the night's dropping temperatures. "I'll see you tomorrow, then. Goodbye, Alhaitham."

He hummed in response, following Kaveh away. You hurried over to your car, where Layla was waiting in the passenger seat.

"So that's what you call nothing? The only thing that could have made that more cliche would be if he offered his jacket to you and told you to keep it, or maybe offered to escort you home."

"Shove it, Layla. Let's just continue with what we had planned for the night like that never happened." You were glad for the darkness, because if it had been any brighter, Layla would definitely have noticed all the signs of how flustered you were.

You drove home with your face burning, and even before the movie the two of you put on could get past the introduction, you were fast asleep and reliving today's events in your dreams.

taglist: @em-asian @hypernovaxx @surgeonsofazeroy @xiaosimper @i-loveyou013 @strwbrysweets

let me know if you want to be added!

[morallygreyyn]

so sorry to bother you! but can you do a hisoka rivals to lovers? can be fluff angst or smut! whatever you want!

fair and square (hisoka x reader)

description: hisoka had, much to your dismay, always one-upped you throughout your entire school career. however once you're paired up with your sworn rival for a class project, he reveals something that gives you the power to finally beat him...

authors note: rivals to lovers is literally a top tier trope but i can do you one better...now hear me out...academic rivals to lovers with a dash of enemies to lovers thrown into the mix you're also a smidge of a tsundere in this

this is also such an old request i'm so sorry it took me ages to get round to it i really hope it's worth the wait characters aged up and in the last year of school!

warnings: none surprisingly other than swearing

word count: 3.1k

requests are open!

You had never expected your school life to be as infuriating as it had turned out to be. Constant stress, anger and bitterness would be the descriptive words you’d choose to summarise the past three years. This wasn’t down to the school itself though. You had always been one who prides themselves at being number one in everything and school was no exception. You worked hard, you studied diligently and put your all into everything school threw your way. With all your effort, you expected to be at the very top of your year group and yet, there was always one name just above yours. One name you cursed over and over again. 

Hisoka Marrow. 

He beat you in everything, but only by a single percentage. A single digit. It was as if he was doing it on purpose. Like your own personal demon sent to mock you. 

The worst part was that he didn’t even try. You could always hear him brag to his friends how little effort he put into his studies and yet he always somehow got top marks. He always seemed to speak louder when you were around, as if he was making sure you could hear him. 

But you, you tried so hard. Studying had become almost a religion to you and to see someone who puts no effort in and not just match your grades but beat them? You were fit to blow a fuse. 

You shouldn’t care, it was only a single digit after all, but as time passed, the more that single digit meant to you. Very quickly it became all you could think about. 

So when your teacher announced that there would be a competition within your year group where you and an assigned teammate had to research and make a project and present it at the end of the month, you were all for it. 

You went home that evening, already researching topics of interest that you had covered in class. Secretly in the back of your mind however, you were plotting the downfall of your rival. Hisoka who puts no effort into anything? No way was he going to research a project topic. You had this in the bag. 

Heading into school the next morning, you saw that the teams were announced and hung on the notice board. 

You checked the board with barely contained glee, finally ready to crush your nemesis once and for all, however every single one of your fantasies came crashing down once you saw whose name was beside yours. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Hello, y/n.” You could practically hear the mocking purr in his voice. 

“Why you?” You wanted to scream in frustration. Of all the people to get partnered with, it had to be Hisoka? Was that even fair for the rest of the class? “Why did it have to be you?”

“Because it looks like you need academic help.”

You decided not to respond for fear of doing something that would result in suspension. 

“Careful not to drag me down to your level.” You growled at his words, almost tearing the notes in your hand but Hisoka nonetheless continued with his taunt. “Or alternatively, I could raise you up.”

“If anything, you’ll be the one to drag me down.”

Smiling, he grabbed your chin and brought your face too close to his. “We’ll see about that.”

“Yes we will.” You pushed him away, ignoring the rising heat in your cheeks. 

Having had just about enough of your rival turned teammate for a lifetime, you stalked off to class, grumbling the entire way. 

By the time the final bell rang signalling the end of the day, you had succumbed to misery. It didn’t help that Hisoka slammed his palm on your desk, alerting you to his irritating presence. 

“Well, partner of mine, don’t we have a project to work on?”

“Piss off.” You mumbled, gathering your things. 

“You can’t ignore me if you want to pass. This is a team project, remember?”

The annoying thing was that he was right. 

“I’m going to the library.” You stated, not inviting him but knowing he’d follow anyway. You were right. 

Your school’s library was open until the early hours of the morning so it made the perfect place to get work done. 

“This is the library, Hisoka. I know you’ve never seen one in your life so be careful not to get lost.” You quipped, claiming a desk for two people. 

Hisoka grinned as if he found what you said hilarious. “Aye aye captain, I’ll stick as close to you as I possibly can.”

True to his word, as you were pouring over the bookshelves for inspiration, you tripped over the boy who decided to stand directly behind you. More than once. 

“I’m going to kill you.”

Hisoka stalked even closer to you. Levelling his head with yours, you got a good look at his manic grin and devilish eyes. “Do it then.”

“I didn’t mean literally, you moron.” You gave his face a shove, desperately needing your personal space back. Deciding to ignore the fact that he licked your palm, you wiped your hand on your trousers and carried on fishing out books. 

A couple of hours later, with Hisoka’s cryptic input and irritating commentary, you had finally settled on a project topic. 

“I think that’ll do for today.” You sighed and stretched, checking the time. 

“Do you always study for this long?” Hisoka’s voice was muffled from where he was lying face down on the desk. Clearly your study routine had done a number on him.

“Yes I do.” Shoving your books into your bag, you stood up. “Some people actually have to try to get good grades.”

The red head turned, looking up at you with his hooded amber eyes. “Sounds like a pain.”

“You’re a pain.”

“What did I do to deserve such a high compliment?”

You rolled your eyes, flicking the boy in the forehead. “I’m going home. If you can make some notes for the next time, that would be great.”

“That sounds like effort.”

“Don’t strain yourself.” And with that you walked out, feeling his gaze every step of the way. 

Over the next couple of weeks, you both worked diligently on your project. Surprisingly, Hisoka did actually make notes that you could use. They were even quite good despite the fact that he complained about doing them. You begrudgingly even began to enjoy his company, much to your surprise. Hisoka was funny and carefree and that made him very easy to be around. It was a breath of fresh air against the stressed and structured life you led. You even caught yourself laughing at one point, though you vehemently denied this later. 

You were loath to admit that he did actually make a good project partner. Hisoka listened to what you said and always completed the tasks you set him flawlessly. He followed your directions and made a few of his own calls which, and you would never say this, made your project flow without a hitch. At this rate you’d be surprised if anyone managed to get anywhere close to beating it. 

“Fine,” You huffed after a particularly successful study session, folding your arms. “I’ll admit it. You’re kinda good at this.”

Your partner grinned, casting you a sideways glance. “Better than you?”

“Don’t push it.”

He laughed and you could’ve sworn there was a faint pink glow to his cheeks.

“Cute.” The word slipped out before you even had time to register it as a thought. Shit.

Hisoka’s head snapped up, amber eyes alight. “What did you just say?”

“Nothing.” You answered a little too quickly. 

“You said something.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Yes you did.”

“You’re imagining things.”

“Don’t gaslight, y/n, that’s my thing.” Hisoka tutted, shifting closer to you with a disgusting grin. “But seeing as you’re so adamant, allow me to remind you. You called me cute.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He decided to ignore you. “I’ll admit, no one has ever used that word to describe me before.”

Realising that you had run out of defences, you hastily stood up, grabbed a random book from your study stack and practically ran to hide within the library’s many bookshelves. “I’m going to put this back!”

Idiot, you thought to yourself. You were an utter idiot. What on earth possessed you to say something like that? Suppressing a groan of frustration, you roughly ran a hand through your hair. You were never going to live this down.

The sound of quick footsteps brought you out of your rampant thoughts and your head snapped up to see the boy you just abandoned emerge from around the corner. 

“What are you doing?” You asked, wondering why Hisoka was striding towards you at an alarming rate with an expression that you didn’t trust. 

“Something I’m probably gonna get in trouble for.” He grinned before he grabbed your waist and pulled you in for a kiss. 

“Mph!” 

What the fuck? Hisoka was kissing you? 

You wanted to push him away but at the same time, you really didn’t. 

The book in your hand fell to the floor with a thud as all reason and logic left you, your brain being completely swept over by the want. You weren’t even ashamed of the fact that once you had caught up with what was happening, you began to kiss your rival back. Your back slammed into the bookshelf, pulling Hisoka’s face towards yours by that ridiculously red hair. His mouth parted at the sensation, as if he enjoyed the pain, and you took that opportunity to deepen the kiss. Tongue met tongue and you both lost yourselves in the act. You were suddenly extremely glad that it was late and no one else was in the library. 

By the time sense had returned to you, your lips were red and swollen. You quickly pushed Hisoka away with enough force that he stumbled and hit the opposite bookshelf.

“Why?” You panted, only able to get one word out. Only able to think one word for that matter.

It took a moment for Hisoka to respond and the silence was almost unbearable as you watched him struggle to regain his breath. “Because I have a crush on you.”

“W-what?” You spluttered, your brain coming to a complete halt and then kicking into overdrive.

The corners of Hisoka’s swollen lips twitched upwards. “I like you.”

“When?”

“Since I first met you.” Hisoka laughed at your expression, uncaring of the fact that he was in a library. “Don’t look so shocked, you must’ve known. It was fairly obvious.”

“No the fuck it wasn’t.”

“Really? So you never caught me staring at you? Or how my name was always right next to yours every results day? Or how I used every opportunity I had to talk to you? That was all to get your attention, silly y/n.” He flicked your forehead, as if he was scolding a friend rather than confessing his feelings.

So the whole time when you were stewing over him thinking he was better than you, Hisoka was actually trying to get you to notice him. “I thought you were just mocking me.”

“Why?”

“Because you always one-upped me in every test.”

“Oh that was just for fun.” Hisoka grinned but quickly changed his tune once he saw your expression and held up his hands in defence. “But everything else was because I wanted you to like me, not that I was mocking you.”

You were at a loss for words. Your arch nemesis, your academic rival, your sworn enemy was here confessing that he liked you this entire time. Unable to do quite literally anything else, you slid to the floor and covered your face with your hands.

What on earth were you to make of this situation? And why were you so damn happy? So happy to the point where it was necessary to cover your face to hide your grin.

“Hmm, what’s this?” Hisoka crouched before you, you could hear the delight in his tone. “Are you smiling?”

You shook your head vigorously, trying to knock some sense back into you and the smile off your face. “Idiot, of course I’m not.”

“So you say…” He trailed off, a finger tracing the back of your hands. “Unfortunately, you’re not very convincing.”

Gaining composure, you lowered your hands and met his gaze. It was almost too overwhelming. From thinking he was your enemy to having him confess and kiss you within the span of a couple of minutes was incomprehensible.

“How do I know you’re not just teasing me?” Narrowing your eyes, you carefully watched Hisoka’s expression.

“As much as I take delight in jokes, I am actually being serious for once.” He grabbed your hand, offering you a half smile which seemed too conniving. “But I know you don’t believe me so how can I prove it to you?” 

You seriously considered his words, thinking what exactly could he do that would make you believe him. Unsurprisingly, you came up blank. He didn’t know that though.

Deciding to finally one-up him, all hints of amusement fled from your expression and you kept your tone grave, conveying false sincerity. “Kiss me as if you mean it.”

Hisoka was stunned for a moment, clearly not expecting that response.  “How will you know if I mean it?”

“I guess I’ll have to try it and find out.”

The boy wasted no time in reaching out for you as he captured your lips once more. With his hand resting against your cheek with more tenderness than you gave him credit for, you were immensely glad that you were sitting as the force of the kiss would have knocked you off your feet. Compared to your last kiss, this one was much more fervent and almost desperate. With each slide of his lips against yours, you could practically feel all the hidden feelings he had kept tucked away rise to the surface. He said that he brazenly showed his feelings, but he never actually expressed them to your face. Perhaps he was nervous, the thought amused you.

Realising that he had actually given you power to hold over him, naturally you decided to abuse it. After all the years of him besting you, it was finally time to get your long awaited revenge which you so richly deserved.

Twisting your arms around his neck, you pulled the boy flush against you as you began to kiss him back with all the force he was kissing you with. He let out a pleasant noise of surprise and then a gasp when you violently tugged on his hair and knocked him to the ground. Not once did you break the kiss or let him break away as you straddled his lap, feeling the way his hands slid down your back and to your waist. It appeared as though Hisoka had no qualms about this new position, as if he had always fantasised about it. One-upping someone had never tasted so sweet.

“Are you trying to kill me?” He groaned once you pulled away, panting as he gazed up at you with half lidded eyes. A sight which you could definitely get used to.

You smiled maliciously. “Didn’t you ask me to?”

“Fair point.” He shivered and brought a hand up, brushing some hair out of your face and tucking it behind your ear. “So? Did I prove it?”

“Hmm.” You tapped your chin, pretending to debate over his words. While his confession came as a shock to you, you had always thought Hisola was ridiculously attractive. Yes, he got on your nerves and made you think he was your arch nemesis, but don’t all the best love stories start out that way? Besides, it wasn’t as if you could pretend away your own feelings that had begun to develop over the past few weeks. “If we win the competition, I’ll go out with you.”

He sat up with you still in his lap, arms tight around your waist, eyes alight and his signature grin forming at the corners of his mouth. “Is that a promise?”

“Yes.”

“Seal it with a kiss?”

You rolled your eyes but kissed him nonetheless. 

There was little time before the project was due and in the days following the promise, you both had practically crafted the perfect presentation.

If Hisoka was putting in effort before, it was nothing compared to his work ethic when he had something to work towards. You had to give credit where credit was due, the boy was dedicated to the cause. 

While neither of you acknowledged the fateful day in the library, you couldn’t stop yourself from staring at Hisoka in class. He was either already looking at you and winked whenever you met his gaze, or he would let you stare at his admittedly gorgeous side profile, smirking all the while. 

Then the day of the project came and to say the class was at a disadvantage when you and Hisoka were paired together was an understatement. It was obvious to you, the teacher and the student body that your presentation was on a different level. If they were expecting you to both be at each other's throats the entire time and not get anything coherent together, they couldn’t have been more wrong.

You both stood confidently at the front of the class and started presenting. Hisoka began reciting your script, and if you listened closely, you could hear the smug undertone in his voice. 

When it was finished, Hisoka looked at you and grinned, catlike and full of mischief. He knew it was only a matter of time before he got the results he wanted. 

Ignoring his expression, you walked back to your seat to the sound of unenthused applause, mind reeling.

A couple of days later, the results were announced and sure enough, there at the top of the list joined next to each other rather than a line separating them, were your names.

“It seems I have myself a girlfriend.” Came a purr from behind. Whirling around, you came face to face with a very triumphant looking Hisoka.

“Stop one-upping me during tests and yes you do.” You poked him in the chest and he responded by grabbing your hand, linking your fingers together in the process. 

‘Ah, my dearest y/n, that wasn’t a prerequisite.” His expression was practically diabolical as he leaned in, his face close enough to feel his breath. “If you want to be number one, then beat me fair and square.”

Then Hisoka kissed you and you wrapped your arms around him, plotting his downfall from beginning to end.

[sirensea14]

Now listen 'ere partner, I'mma need that list or mayhem songs 🤠 also I'd love to know more, I've always loved weird ships that come out of nowhere with little to no possibility of it even being considered ( evident by my Marcus x cup ship, I actually don't know where that one came from) and I always love learning about them and why they happened :33

Wait-wait-wait--WHAT??!! SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THERES SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO SHIPS MARCUS AND CUPHEAD? 😨 Now thats... quite cursed... didnt even know that exists...

But anyway here's the songs with some explanation

Bendy songs:

Instruments of Cyanide (DAGames)

My favorite bendy song, i had different versions of this song as an animatic for inky mystery (i want to animate it but i dont have enough skills to do it yet and its quite long) but there's this one particular version in my head where in WitchBrew was singing chorus 1, Mayhem and Not-Cup had their hands as if spinning the cog with Cuphead and Holly on it.

This is the art for it.

Behind the curtain (squigglydigg)

(Watch the mv first so u can get what im saying lol)This one is where Cuphead is henry and alice angel was holly-turning-to-mayhem. Mayhem taunts cuphead about the fact that he didnt manage to save holly from the cog

Alice's Tango (You will be mine) by chi chi

Literally just Mayhem dancing tango with Not-cup. He might be newly possessed since i imagined this with him having a bitter expression. (Compared to the art ones where he is smiling af lol) But yea, but him frowning or smiling and dancing with mayhem is still him dancing with mayhem, no matter whoch expression you or i choose lol

All eyes on me (squigglydigg's verison)

I love the og one, Or3o's version, but the og one's for sarah, it had some sweet evil girl tone in it. Whereas Squigglydigg's ver had Alice with a kind of that evil woman voice which is suiting mayhem. Its about her capturing the questers, tying them to a chair and make them watch her sing as they show her that they suppressed her from the cog. Cuphead manages to escape (Oh no no no no babe, hey!;- this is the part of the song where she caught cuphead loose from his ties) and i then she becomes insane as she sing and captures him back while pointing at him, blaming him for uhh everything...? *shrugs* lol

Are you proud of me now? (DAGames)

Ah yes, also one of my favorite songs. This is about holly and cuphead pulling the cog in replacement of audrey and the ink machine in DAGames mv. They bury the pressure that is put on them the the bg figures (Holly: bendy, fanny and cuphead. Cuphead: vicious,fanny, holly and mayhem) and then Mayhem is trying to pull Cuphead into madness when a memory ball revealed that holly is mayhem that is fully influenced by the cog. Cuphead back steps as mayhem is trying to get at him.

Lemme tell ya bud, giving this into detail is quite hard, but i told ya this the best that i can

Now onto the non-bendy songs!

Show yourself (frozen 2)

Hehe, quite weird to see a disney song here eh? XD but basically, this song is about Holly discovering the powers of the cog and some runes in some kind of old hidden Micco Cave. She followed the light where it leads her to Lukahd singing her and transforming her into Mayhem. The questers appeared at the end of the song and Mayhem raind down a cloud of runes she summoned. Cuphead was left flabbergasted at what happened. Alice's angel runes and bendy's demon magic protects them from the attack.

A sad song (we the kings)

This one is based from the Gala heartbreak. Holly goes into full mayhem which makes cuphead heartbroken as she shows bloodlust. But we also get to see Holly's pov which is cuphead laugh off and having fun with fanny and walking away from her as they talk.

And heres the most heartbreaking part; mayhem holds cuphead in a chokehold with her magic as she floats on her broom. Cuphead looks at her with teary eyes, but Mayhem showed no remorse. She was smiling ear to ear as she watched him in pain. Her memory of being holly and messing with the jokester cuphead is vanishing. She chose to ignore those aching memories because of the pain he caused.

Enchanted (taylor swift)

Aint a swiftie but ngl this song is amazing. Perfect for colly heartbreak. Again, this is based from the gala. Also goes along with the storyline of A Sad Song. But this is more on holly's pov tho. This also includes some moments from the gala, when she spied on the cupbros (cuphead hung her on a tree) etc. and then shifts to mayhem attacking cuphead with regrets carved on his glassy eyes.

All of this is kinda hard to get into detail, i tried my best and thats it. Hope u understand my explanations😅

Meanwhile, heres a WitchBrew song but them in a fight:

Devil's Gambit (fnf: indie cross)

Yes, you read that right, an fnf song XD

This one's cool cuz i imagine Notcup having a bit of characteristics from Nightmare Cuphead's form (indie cross).

Kind of like this.

I imagine him assisting Mayhem of defeating the Questers cuz they were on a hunt for them during the song. Mayhem unleashing her most horrifying abilities and Cuphead shooting blazing hot pink bullets. He still has all of the potion bullets like the chaser, lobber and peashooter etc, its just in pink.

Or possibly theyre fighting sarah, instrument boris and the night terror cuz sarah considered mayhem (and possibly notcup) as anomalies.

Welp, i think ive got it all covered up lol. A LOT was running in my head back then when i was a silent fan.

Holy cuss its 11:30 pm XD i should wash myself now cuz its getting quite late (imstillnotsleepyhelpandimhungry)

Im still wondering how tf did someone got the nerve to ship marcus and cuphead💀

[skrunklybf-archived]

Hello again Rory!

Since your requests are open for Obey me today, I was thinking about Dom Lucifer and…

❛  i’ve been thinking long and hard about what i wanna do with you tonight.  ❜

And/or

“All my thoughts about you are improper”

I would be a complete slave for that demon I’d let him do anything to me

"𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚛…" *ೃ༄ 𝚕𝚞𝚌𝚒𝚏𝚎𝚛 -- 𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚢 𝚖𝚎

suggestive themes, dom/sub dynamics, dirty talk, light choking, marking/biting, mention of blood, possessiveness, praise

acquiring a moment with lucifer was a lot tougher than you imagined. he's a busy demon, most often buried to the neck in some business or another; but if mammon taught you anything about getting what you want, it's that there's almost always a way through, even if you have to be somewhat... disingenuous.

"if you needed to speak with me in person, we could have spoken before or after dinner." lucifer said evenly, his ruby gaze caught on the work littering his desk. he didn't look up when you entered, didn't offer a greeting, though he had to have known you were standing there, waiting for one. always so polite -- such a stark contrast from his rather chaotic brothers. "not that i'm not glad to see you," he continued, dotting one more period on the page, "but your message sounded urgent. you can always pull me aside if you need something."

your throat worked extra hard to swallow the lump in it. "i know. i just... wanted to talk in private. it's kind of hard to get some time alone, y'know?" his stare made you squirm. the pen in his hand suddenly poofed away into a fit of smoke. lucifer leaned back in his chair, crossed a leg over his knee, and held his chin in his hand. he looked relaxed, strangely enough, with a smooth grin stretching over his face. a flicker of amusement danced in his eyes for a fleeting moment.

"i agree. well, you have me all to yourself for the time being. what did you need to talk about?"

it was like he was taunting you. could he read your mind? see through your rather flimsy excuse to slip into his bedroom at night? the thought made you sweat.

"i-- um..."

your brain short circuited. it continued its inconvenient strike even as lucifer arched a brow in your direction. he had yet to break his gaze, even as he stood and strode through the distance to you.

"are you feeling well?" he smoothed. you had to tilt your head back to watch his face, those sharp features extra striking up close. he held the top of his wrist against your forehead, also choosing to cradle your cheek in the other hand. "hm. you're a little warm, though i don't think it's due to an illness." there was some sense of satisfaction in the way he devoured you simply through a stare. it took everything not to utterly melt into the hold he had on you.

"no," you admitted, feeling rather airheaded, "i'm not sick. i just... wanted to spend time with you." his proximity brought his scent -- something you wished you were used to.

lucifer hummed. he fanned his thumb over your cheek, staring down at you with such a wolfish smile. "i see. and without my brothers to... interrupt?"

you squirmed a bit on your feet. the slight tickle of embarrassment lapped inside your chest, against your cheeks, even the tips of your ears. "yes." you said. "i... um, i've been thinking," you began, breath catching once lucifer began to lean himself down toward you. instinct made you back up -- just a few steps, until your back was against the closed bedroom door. lucifer, of course, followed, keeping that hold against your jaw. the other palm laid against the door, nearly caging you in place before him. his face dipped into the space between your neck and shoulder. hot breath fanned over your skin.

"go on," he mumbled, pressing the lightest kiss behind your ear. an involuntary shiver shook through you. "you've been thinking...?"

"yes. um... i've been thinking, a lot, about you."

"is that so?"

lucifer moved down to your neck, applying just slightly more pressure. his hand mirrored his lips, wrapping around the side of your throat, pressing down just enough to feel its presence. you're certain he could hear you swallow down your nerves.

"tell me, what are your thoughts about me like?" the demon grumbled into your ear, all but forcing your eyes to squeeze shut as you struggled to catch your breath and sense. his body pressed against you, strong and solid. he nudged his knee between your legs, earning a sharp gasp and your hands gripping against his forearms. you didn't want him to stop, couldn't imagine pushing him away -- you simply needed to ground yourself in this hazy moment. "i can tell you, all of my thoughts about you are... improper."

you whimpered. lucifer squeezed around the column of your throat. he slipped his lips across your blazing cheek, hovering just above your own mouth, slightly agape in awe.

"now, tell me what you really want," he said, barely louder than a whisper, "or you get nothing at all."

pressure leaning up against your center, squished between your own plump thighs, nearly forced another whine out of you. it was like your body took over for the lack of brain power, because before you could stop them, your hips began to swivel, seeking more contact against your core. the hand gripping you tightened just for a moment -- a warning -- and lucifer sucked his teeth above you. "i said, tell me what you want. or you get nothing."

cruelly, but not unexpectedly, lucifer pulled his knee away. cool air replaced his warmth, making you acutely aware of how wet you were getting beneath your sleep shorts.

"i want you." you squeaked, sounding quite desperate, "i-i want you, lucifer."

"very good. and what do you want me to do, darling?" he brushed his thumb up and down the center of your throat, almost as if he were trying to physically coax the words out of you.

you were glad to have your eyes closed, thankful to avoid his stare as you swallowed your shame. "i want you to fuck me."

the avatar of pride chuckled before you. the miniscule space between your lips never felt so expansive. "such a filthy mouth." he muttered, sounding pleased. the hand on you shifted back to grip against the base of your head, buried to the root. the slight sting mixed strangely with a sense of pleasure, scrounging up a surprised little moan from your throat. "i can't say i'm surprised. i've seen the way you look at me, when you think nobody is watching," lucifer teetered your head back even farther, all but forcing you to peel your eyes open to look at him. self satisfaction and confidence oozed from his features, inches away from you. "you have my brothers stumbling all over you, but all you want is right... here," instead of your lips, lucifer attached himself to your neck again, but with much more force -- and teeth. you winced as he bit down, a jolt of pain rushing to your brain, and surprisingly enough, down into your panties. a low moan slipped from your lips as he sucked against your skin.

it felt like an eternity before lucifer pulled himself away. surely he'd broken skin, and surely he'd lapped up the blood that seeped out; you spied him licking his lips before he planted them over your own. the taste of your blood shifted him into another gear. he moved his hands down to grip against the back of your thighs, hoisting you up. you were stuck between a rock and a hard place: the door, and lucifer himself. your legs automatically wrapped around his hips as he kissed you with so much force your teeth clacked against each other.

fingers gripped and grabbed at the fat of your thighs. "you want me to take you?" he grumbled into your mouth, "i'll mark you. make sure nobody can get near you without knowing what i've done to you." his tone grew even more rough around the edges as you gyrated your hips, pelvis to pelvis with the avatar of pride himself. "make sure i show you all of my most improper thoughts."

[swallow-the-bird]

Do you have any favorite Harry Potter ships?

Well, besides my all-time favorite Grindeldore, I’m actually quite eclectic in my tastes! 🤣

Snarry, Snamione, Snily, Jily, Hedric, Dnarry, Sirry… I’ve read fanfictions about all of them, and I’ve enjoyed them. Perhaps it’s because the Harry Potter fandom has so many talented writers. As long as the story is captivating, I’m thrilled to read it!

There’s another pairing that I initially thought was improbable, but later became infatuated with—

Harrymort/Tomarry!!

***** ‼️ LONG post alert ‼️ Oh, whenever I get to a topic that excites me, I always end up being such a chatterbox🤣Please also be aware of what I say below is only my VERY SUBJECTIVE opinions ‼️ *****

While Harrymort/Tomarry seem to have a lover-enemy dynamic similar to Grindeldore, the premise for each is vastly different. Gellert and Albus once passionately loved each other in their youth, while Tom/Voldemort and Harry share deep animosity and are destined adversaries. How could they possibly be together? Moreover, I once believed that Tom Riddle was an emotionless monster. (But I don’t mean that in a derogatory sense!)

While Gellert might be categorized as a sociopath, capable of true loyalty and emotions towards a select few - Albus Dumbledore- and taking a lifetime to learn how to love, he at least has the capacity to love. This is evident when he ultimately understands the true meaning of remorse and willingly sacrifices his life to protect another’s grave.

But what about Tom?

In my eyes, Tom is a complete psychopath. Perhaps his traumatic childhood twisted his moral compass, but some characteristics seem innate and psychological. Tom’s emotional blunting seems more pronounced. He inherently lacks empathy and remorse. Even if he can comprehend others’ emotions and manipulate them, he doesn’t genuinely understand or empathize with them, which is why he can’t grasp the concept of remorse. Hence, he chose to become Voldemort. This made me question:

How can such a person love? He doesn’t even understand what love is.

This mirrors Gellert’s scathing taunt to Voldemort, “…there is so much you do not understand—!”

Yes, Tom Riddle—Voldemort— does not, and cannot understand love. But can he?

Some of my favorite authors have remarked:

“Yes, Tom Riddle—Voldemort— does not understand love, and he may never be able to. But just because you don’t understand something, does that mean you can’t have it?”

Harry is like a reflection of Tom Riddle. While Tom Riddle, in his hatred and fear, denied love and chose to become Voldemort, Harry, despite facing the same hatred and fear, came to understand what courage meant and chose love.

“Just by letting Harry see even the tiniest hint of Voldemort’s humanity, he will bravely embrace that one-in-a-million hope.”— Oh yes, hope. This is how many Tomarry/Harrmort fictions begin their stories.

Harry might harbor hatred for Voldemort for a lifetime, but the essence of forgiveness isn’t the absence of hate; it’s about learning to move on. If there’s anyone willing to embrace a shattered soul with such heinous crimes, it would be Harry Potter. Just as he has embraced death with the same courage, it’s this Harry who, when confronting his lifelong nemesis, still chooses “Expelliarmus”.

This love-hate story is inevitably not just about the hopes and courage of love, but also about its pain and despair. It makes us question the nature of love, hate, life, death, and humanity.

Harry understands love, so he believes in humanity, which gives him hope and courage, especially when mired in human flaws and tragedies.

“You see the world in such a unique way; I believe even despair seems colorful to someone like you.”—this is a line from one of my favorite Harrmort stories, “One thing he will never know”. In it, Harry chooses to cling to that sliver of hope in Voldemort and falls hopelessly in love with him. When Harry grapples with guilt, Dumbledore leaves him with this wisdom.

"It may seem terribly wrong, but if I may venture a guess, it must also feel so right," were Dumbledore's last words to the boy, "Harry, I don't think there is any shame in love. You must never doubt that when someone has been loved like this, it always leaves a mark, and that it will eventually change everything. You are much braver than I ever was.”

Thanks to these brilliant fanfictions, I’ve come to believe in the heart Voldemort thought he never had. Even if it’s fractured, it still exists, and a sliver of humanity remains. Perhaps we all need a broad perspective to see the world:

Not understanding love doesn’t mean you can’t have it.

I just realized I wrote so much! Maybe it’s because I’ve never shared my love for Tomarry/Harrmort with anyone after Grindeldore. Here’s my chance!

PS One of my favorite fanfictions, “One thing he will never know,” is written by a talented Taiwanese author in Chinese.If you’re interested, you can check it out here:

(* I've taken the liberty of translating some of the lines that impressed me most into English, as I wrote above.)

I also have read many excellent Tomarry/Harrmort stories from the English fandom. If you have any recommendations, please share them with me!

[imaginaenespanol]

Childhood Kid!Michael Myers x Kid!Latin!reader

Plot: You and your family are immigrants from a Latin American country. Thanks to your dad's opportunity at his job, they come to Hanonfield USA, you meet the kid Michael Myers and they become friends because of your strange way of speaking Other idiom and persistence in wanting to be his friend, they spend 4 years together in various situations, while he falls in love with you, you are his only happiness. What happened in those years before that fateful Halloween?

Words: 861

Warning: more Bullies bothering them both

Notes : brrrr, I may not have reached 1k words >_<, but I was focused on the friendship finally blossoming!. How long will you be brave before it has consequences?

Chapters: (1),(2) (x),(4)

Chapter 3: "(Y/N) and Michael's friendship grows stronger"

Tuesday January 8, 2002,

(Y/N) woke up early the next morning after the fight in the schoolyard. She still felt a little scared from what had happened, but she also felt grateful that she was there just in time and that Michael was safe from those bad guys. As she got dressed for school, she wondered if Michael would be there today "Yes, he will be there, if not I'll knock on the door myself and go with him" she thought to herself with a mischievous smile as she ate. Your breakfast.

When she got to the school, she saw Michael sitting alone on a bench near the playground. She walked over to him with a smile on her face and sat down next to her.

—Hey, Michael— she said enthusiastically. —How are you?—

—Hi, (Y/N)— he replied with a sheepish smile. —I'm good, thank you for asking.—

(Y/N) she noticed that Michael seemed a little uncomfortable and wondered if he was worried about something. She decided to try to make him feel better —Do you want to play something together at recess?— she asked him with her typical cheerful little voice. —We could play ball or something fun, I don't know, you choose.—

Michael seemed surprised by the offer. She still wanted to spend time with him? He hesitated for a moment, but then she nodded. —Yeah, that sounds like fun— said the more animated blonde. They played together during the whole recess and the boy for the first time had the feeling that the recess was worth it, she was worth it, Michael seemed more relaxed, happy and (Y/N) felt glad that she made the Boy quiet. and rude to finally give in and accept his friendship. In class (Y/N) she felt the boy's stares, but when she turned around, he was on his own as if nothing happened.

Everything seemed to be going well, but at lunch there was another ruckus with those thugs, (Y/N) was eating when Michael approached her without saying a word and sat down to eat, the girl offered him some of her juice and they drank from it. the same box. —No bad boys seen around here again— she pointed out to the blond boy, to which he shrugged. —You mean Weasley and his crew? Better for me, I hate those assholes— her eyes widened at that rudeness, who would say that he could say bad words?, but she feels that it is the essence of him, of Michael Myers and she is not going to waste her energy to change that —Are they always like this with you? Que feo Caso…— she said the last words in Spanish while frowning, observing that Michael nodded. She imagined all the times that he could have been intimidated and had no help from anyone… poor thing, but now that she is here, he is not alone!

In the distance laughter and mockery could be heard, it was them, they just realized that (Y/N) and Michael Myers were having lunch together. (Y/N) noticed how Michael's expression turns grim as he hears the bullies laughing and taunting. She decided to act to protect him, and she took her hand under the table for support, showing him that he wasn't alone. Michael was surprised by the gesture and felt a slight flutter in her chest.

The bullies approached the two boys' table and began making nasty comments about Michael. —Look at the scared baby!— one of the thugs said with a chuckle. —He must be an idiot to think that someone could be friends with a madman like him— added another.

(Y/N) got up from her seat and stood between him and the bullies, making it clear that she would not tolerate any more abusive behavior from her. —Why don't you leave Michael alone?— she asked firmly. —They have no right to talk to him like that, he is a child like any of us and he deserves respect.—

Michael stayed behind her, but her stance was firm and determined. —Stop bothering him!— she exclaimed bravely. —They have no right to treat you like this. He's my friend and I'm not going to allow them to hurt him.— The thugs laughed at the girl's statements —Can't your boyfriend defend himself? he's a fag— Before one of the two kids moved a muscle, the principal walked past them Talking with Miss April, the bullies got scared. they couldn't intimidate (Y/N) and Michael together, for now… they quietly withdrew, pretending that nothing had happened. Michael was grateful and moved by the bravery of his new friend. —Thank you…again— he said with a sheepish smile and she smiled.

After school, they walked home together, laughing and chatting along the way. Well the one who talked the most was (Y/N) and he listened, he was a good listener. When they got to (Y/N's) house, they said ‘goodbye’ and Michael ran off to his own house across the street.

(Y/N) walked into her house feeling happy and excited for her new friend, not knowing that Michael Myers had started to have feelings for her.

[N/A:Que feo caso= what an ugly case]

[xariarte]

Team Canada

Raptors/rockets (couldn’t choose one 😭)

Dillion Brooks sympathizer (affectionately)

When I saw this in my inbox, I laughed, because I knew the last part was coming for me one day. 😂💖

But before Brooks takes over this ask, I’m real glad that my Team Canada posts have become a defining factor of my account! I never meant to post this much about Canadian basketball but I actually really enjoy it. And it’s definitely both Raptors/Rockets over here. 🇨🇦

And then the last part…listen, I have to explain myself. 🤣 I know I’ve been flinging Dillon Brooks’ name into Tumblr uncensored 😭. This is good timing to talk about all this because the Olympics are coming up too (and he's gonna be doing stuff, I know).

I’ll split this into a short answer and a longer one under the cut. 😭😭

Short Answer: I don’t necessarily sympathize with him all of the time — he has done CRIMES after all — but I am perpetually amused by his existence. I’m usually looking at him like, “why are you like this?” 🤨🤔 I like him AND hate him at the same time for various reasons, like sometimes he is The Best and other times he is The Worst. 

I do know that when I decided to talk about him on here, it was scary at first because he is so hated (for valid reasons). But I was like, I can’t NOT talk about how amusing he is to me! I also find it immensely funny that my posts on him always end up framing him as "some guy on the team". 😃

I will say though if you hate him, DO NOT let me or my posts stop you. He is a villainous menace. If you don’t want to see him, mute my dbrooks tag!

P.S. If you know Molly Morrison on Twitter/Tumblr, just know I highly relate to what she’s said about Dillon Brooks over the years. 😭😭

Longer Answer (aka the backstory lore of WHY): 

When I restarted my Tumblr account, I met Tumblr user siakam. One of the topics we discussed was the cursed idea of a Fred VanVleet and DB fanfic, because we thought they could be enemies thanks to their conflicting personalities. I was intrigued, but I didn’t know anything about Brooks’ personality. Sadly I do love researching things... 😭😭

This research collided with the NBA season/me getting into Rockets basketball/me catching up on FIBA content…so by accident, Brooks was everywhere. 😩 Houston had a honeymoon period with him and he took over the Team Canada run (and stole the hearts of the announcers and the photographers and the reporters and the crowd) so because of that, most of Canada now ADORES him.

(Do you realize how many Canadian compliments I have to read about this beloved Canadian menace. NO YOU DON’T. 😭💖)

Most of what I read about his personality, which was buried underneath all the media reports of his menacing, was just…normal and wholesome? At least I understand now why the Grizzlies sideline reporter always called him her favourite player, and why all his Grizzlies/Team Canada teammates/coaching staff love him so much. 

That being said, I don’t always agree with his actions though. He chose to do things to teams/star players and he should take the consequences for those actions.

Yes, I do love trash talking, yes, I do enjoy taunting (one of my favourite trash talking quotes is from Donovan Mitchell actually). He did a lot of things to GSW that went too far for me at times. I feel like the intense wave of hatred from last summer was good for him because it brought him down to earth (his ego is still sky high though). He’s been a bit better on the Rockets, more willing to admit his mistakes. But still. Sometimes he doesn’t play basketball and it pisses me off. 🤬

Anyway, apologies for the long paragraphs, but I did have more to say and I couldn’t squish it into something brief. 💔 If you did read all of this, I hope you enjoyed the extra xariarte lore! 💖

[theslay3d]

Percy Jackson x reader in which the reader is part of the Titan's army and betrays Percy

Percy Jackson x Any camper!reader

Gender:Gender neutral

Warnings: um death? i think thats all yes

Word count:824

A/N hehehe we love the angst i hope you enjoy this. Sorry its taking me so long to do requests the holidays have made me tired lol ALSO this is probably not canon as i haven’t read this book in awhile

The battle was here and you had to choose. You didn't want to hurt camp but Luke has been manipulating you from the start. Ever since you got to camp. Every quest you were on. You always heard him in your head. Telling you that you could change the world and finally be noticed by your parent and you believed him.  

So you fed him information you tried to give fake information once but apparently he had another spy who told him differently so you learned to not give anything fake. Only some half truths which eventually turned into full truths.

You did like Percy and didn't want to hurt him. He was the only one there for you besides Annabeth and Luke but in the prophecy if it's about him he was gonna die anyway. So if the only person that was there for you was gonna die why even try?.

You were at camp when Percy contacted Chiron to bring all the campers to where he was. You knew the battle was gonna start soon. You all got there and a few hours later it began. 

You snuck off in the middle of all the chaos and went to contact Luke who merged with Kronos. You knew it was now Kronos but something about his mannerisms still seemed like Luke to you. You thought maybe he was still in there. 

“What are their plans” Luke/Kronos demanded as soon as the iris message came through. 

You told him everything you knew and he nodded. 

“Good job. When i get there i want you to come to me i want to see the shock on Jackson's face”

Your eyes widened “W-what?”

Kronos smirked “What? You thought you wouldn't fight in battle against your camp with me?” 

You swallowed it was much easier to believe this was Kronos then Luke right now. 

He continued his sentence. “That's too bad Y/n you will be joining my side when i get there” He reached out and swiped through the message. 

You sat in the room alone now. A tear escaped your eye before you could stop it. Suddenly the door opened. 

“Y/n! We've been looking for you it's time to go” 

It was Percy with his messy black hair and sea green eyes. 

You weakly smiled “Sorry i just i needed a minute” 

He walked forward to stand next to you. You were shocked when he reached out to hug you. “If we make it out of this i need to tell you something Y/n”

You broke from the hug and stared at him. “Alright Percy i'll remind you we both know that you will forget” 

He laughed along with you. Why couldn't this moment last forever?

You were now on the bridge with Kronos coming toward you on his horse. At that moment you knew it was time to make the choice. You knew he would call you forward and ask you to join him by his side. What you didn't know was if you could not accept and fight next to Percy. 

You turned your head to Percy. This might be the last time you'll see him from the same side.  

Finally Kronos made it there. You Percy, and Annabeth all stared him down. 

He smirked just like Luke used to do. “Oh Y/n you know what time it is” He taunted. 

Percy and Annabeth’s heads snapped towards yours “What's he talking about Y/n?” Percy asked, his head tilted.

You held in your tears as you whispered to them “I'm sorry” and walked forward to join Kronos’s side. Both Percys and Annabeths moths parted in shock. The look in their eyes made your heart break.

Kronos let out a laugh “You should see your faces right now it's amusing really” He let out another laugh and continued “What Jackson do you think they actually cared for you? No they were on my side the whole time”

Before anyone could say anything Annabeth broke forward “You TRAITOR I TRUSTED YOU” She pointed at you as tears escaped both of your eyes. 

“I'm sorry” You repeated over and over. 

Finally Percy did something. He reached forward and grabbed Annabeth's hand and pulled her back. “Don't” you could hear him mutter to her.

His eyes met yours. Instead of seeing the usual care that he had in his eyes he had hurt and disappointment in them. “How could you Y/n? W-we loved you. You were our friend”

You winced at the past tense words he used but before you could say anything Kronos broke in “This is getting tiring ive already seen the broken look in little Jackson's eyes its time to fight”

That was the last time you saw Percy besides from where you fell with Ethan. You apologized again and let go from where you held on to.

Percy screamed as he watched you fall, unable to do anything. 

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

Hey! On your poll I was going back and forth between yes and secret third thing BECAUSE I do think Izzy displays homophobia in the show. However, I interpret the incident you referred to as mostly misogyny i.e. that "real men don't show feelings." I think the derogatory words and actions towards Lucius and Stede are way more homophobic, but they're connected for sure.

I think the emphasis on boyfriend is making fun of him for being emotional that a man he loves isn't there and he wanted to remind him that (to Ed's understanding) Stede didn't care enough.

Tldr - izzy is homophobic for reasons outside of this scene, but his gorilla grip on societal standards of men bleed into his view of queer men, especially those who aren't "masc" enough for him

anon my beloved i must apologize in advance bc i had a very weird and emotionally draining day today and i am very tired right now. so i don’t know that this is going to be coherent. but also i like this ask and i want to say words about it before that poll expires tomorrow so i’m just gonna slap some shit together here and hope it makes sense

so first thing’s first, i definitely agree that izzy does homophobia all over the show. the reason i picked out this scene and that line specifically is because imo “pining for his boyfriend” literally sounds like a dumb middle school boy bullying his classmates on the playground. which is to say that it sounds like the most simple-minded homophobic taunt in the world. like i always think abt this scene in the last season of the magnus archives when the main character and his boyfriend roll up to some dumb meathead bully type who goes “who’s this, your boyfriend?” and the whole fandom was like “wow i can’t believe this guy is homophobic.” bc even if the bully is literally correct and the guy is actually his boyfriend, saying “boyfriend” in that tone is saying “boyfriend” like it’s an insult. which, clearly, is homophobic.

so yeah mocking ed for the pining bit is kinda more on the “boys don’t cry” misogyny side of things like you said, but the way izzy tilts his head and draws out the first vowel in “booooyfriend” to me reads like the single most straightforward and undeniable instance of izzy being homophobic in the entire show. bc even if (and this is a big if) izzy doesn’t actually care abt ed having a boyfriend and is just trying to goad ed into being blackbeard again bc izzy needs blackbeard to feel safe, the way izzy is choosing to go about bullying ed into being blackbeard again is through grade school level homophobic taunting.

however you are not wrong that there is also misogyny going on in that scene. and that is because these things are all so deeply intertwined it’s impossible to say where one ends and where the other begins. and this is where i don’t think i’m going to be able to maintain coherency lol but i’m gonna do my best!!!

like the thing with homophobia is that at it’s core, it’s about men not doing gender right. bc gender roles in western society are a fucking shitshow and the expectations for how men and women are supposed to behave extend into every facet of people’s lives. like we all know the basic “boys don’t cry, women are caretakers, men are tough and macho, women are soft, men are hard, etc etc” stuff. but one of the biggest areas where society has strict expectations of how men and women should behave is about sexuality.

men are expected to be attracted to women, obviously. but also men are often expected to be overtly sexual. having a high sex drive is tied to many guys’s concept of their own masculinity and their sense of personal identity. like this should feel like common knowledge right, the idea that some guys build their identity around “getting bitches” or whatever?

(the societal expectations for women and sexuality are a whole other shitshow that people have written entire essays and articles and books on, but im not gonna get into that here bc we’re talking abt ofmd, and this show is focusing on challenging society’s ideas about what it means to be a man)

the other thing with gender roles, and with male gender roles specifically. is that of the two genders that western society has expectations for, manhood is seen as superior. so when a guy is unable to perform masculinity to society’s standards, he is seen as less than a man. and what’s less than a man?

a woman.

men who fail to adhere to a certain expectation of masculinity are insulted by being likened to women. it’s why guys will literally say “don’t be such a girl about it” when another guy gets emotional about something. hell, it happens to stede in the show!! calico jack calls him “the big gal,” the british describe him as “a heavyset woman in a silk dressing gown.” stede is someone whose gender presentation does not match what is expected of him At All, from his clothes to his crying to his picking flowers to just his mannerisms and how he is. and stede has faced constant ridicule because of this.

so like. it all gets real tangled together. and a lot of the time it’s hard to say which is “more” present, homophobia or misogyny. insulting a man by calling him gay, insulting a man by comparing him to a woman, those things go hand in hand. having a gorilla grip worldview on how men “should” behave leads people to policing how men, both cishet and queer, perform gender and experience attraction.

so like, izzy’s general vibe of not caring if ed has gay sex, but absolutely caring if ed bottoms during that sex and caring if ed actually falls in love and cares about a man? that concept of masculinity, which calico jack is also shown to adhere to? homophobic. just like how his treatment of stede and lucius for being “less masculine” is homophobic.