#but yeah the way cis men are raised is FUCKED up

[theyheoftheapocalypse]

being a trans guy (ish) is weird cause like. i sort of still socially identify as a woman. especially because i’m not physically transitioned. so i feel like i occupy that space. plus i was raised as female. but i conceptualize myself as masculine and i prefer neutral or masculine pronouns and call myself a guy and boy and brother and son.

so i feel caught between that sort of “all guys suck” mentality that cis women especially have, and “i’m a guy and that makes me feel kinda sad.” cause i know precisely what women mean. but also i am a guy who isn’t part of the patriarchy so hopefully i don’t suck and i would like not to be rejected by women i love and respect because they have a bias against the male gender. but also i know what they mean and i am also scared of cis men often. it’s a weird spot to be in

[spacelazarwolf]

Hi, I was going through some of your old posts and wanted to clarify something. Do you think transfems can have internalized misogyny? Are they in your experience especially prone to sexism from having grown up as someone assigned male at birth?

weird vibes from this ask, i can’t tell if you’re trying to bait me or genuinely curious. if it’s bait, get fucked. in case it’s not, here’s my answer:

i think anyone can struggle with internalized misogyny or internalized patriarchy, especially women or people who are expected to be women. and, as the name would suggest, trans women are women. when a woman is told by society that her worth is in her appearance, and she internalizes that and starts judging herself based on those patriarchal expectations, that’s internalized misogyny. this is especially compounded for trans women and trans femmes, whose identity is already questioned by society. they face extremely intense scrutiny to look or act a certain way, to hold a certain societal role to “prove” their womanhood or femininity, so it’s not surprising that many struggle with internalized misogyny and judging themselves on the patriarchal norms that are violently forced on them. so yeah not only do i think they can have internalized misogyny, i think it’s inevitable for them to struggle with at some point on their transition journey simply because of how inescapable misogyny is in our society.

in terms of “socialization” based on agab, i think the entire concept is flawed. we’re all socialized to act a certain way based on our upbringing and environment, and very often our agab influences that, but there is no universal “afab/amab experience” and simply being raised as a boy or a girl doesn’t make you inherently more or less prone to sexism. i’ve known cis men who are staunch feminists because of their upbringing, who always work to dismantle patriarchal norms in the spaces they’re in. i’ve also known cis women who were deeply misogynistic and deeply harmed the people in their lives because of their insistence on forcing patriarchal norms onto them.

i’m not going to pretend i haven’t had bad experiences with individual trans women being sexist or misogynistic, but that’s because trans women are in fact people and people aren’t perfect. i have experienced misogyny from many different kinds of people, and the thing it always has in common is an attempt to make sure everyone’s staying in their patriarchy-prescribed box. we’ve all grown up in a sexist and misogynistic society that impresses on us how important it is to stay in our box and make sure others stay in their box.

we all have things to unlearn, including trans people. being trans doesn’t magically absolve us of doing that work. unfortunately that means there are going to be instances where trans people, including trans women and trans femmes, perpetuate misogynistic or sexist rhetoric. but i have found that offline the vast majority of my conversations with trans women and trans femmes about my experiences with misogyny and sexism go something like this:

“i face this as a trans man.”

“woah i had no idea, thanks for telling me. i relate to this tangentially because of the way trans people often have multiple gender roles forced on us at once.”

“wow i love connecting with other trans people through common experiences even if they might not be 1:1.”

[maniacwatchestheworld]

Man... So yeah... I've got conflicting feelings about Batman: The Caped Crusader... On the one hand, the art direction and the backgrounds? I can genuinely dig them! The diversity and number of people of color in the main cast? Fantastic! And I'm down for them trying out new takes on old or obscure rogues! The tone and atmosphere can be pretty good at times, and I appreciate the 1940's setting and the weird little oddities the show has because of the retro setting.

But to me, by far the most interesting thing about the show is that it doesn't really feel like a show about Batman. But rather that the show is about the systems of corruption that make Gotham the way that it is and stay that way. Batman has 0 qualms about beating the shit out of the cops, and I dig the hell out of that! Bruce often feels secondary to what Barbara, Renee, and Harvey are up to. The show feels like it's about Gotham! And what Batman is here to do and does is secondary to the other people living in it and trying to change things for Gotham. And I can dig that about this series! And honestly, seeing Barbara and Renee just being complete and utter badasses throughout the whole show and always being the best, most competent, incorruptable people in the room? Kinda delightful! Batman just gets to be a chump sometimes. And it's pretty funny to see the men go down with the easiest of punches while the ladies seem to be able to tank anything coming their way! Love that for them! But honestly... It really does seem like the show is a LOT more interested in the struggles of the poor, the people of color, and the women of the city than it is with the perspective of the rich, white, cis, male society that we usually see! So that's a direction I really appreciate with the show!

But on the negative side, BOY HOWDY does that animation look sloppy sometimes. And in fact, the animation style is often far too close to that of Scooby-Doo for my liking! When I started the 5th episode with Gentleman Ghost, I felt a little baffled because I just put on Batman... But what I was seeing looked like it was literally pulled straight out of Scooby-Doo! The only real animation details that made it NOT look like Scooby-Doo was MAYBE the eyeliner on some of the characters. And even then, only maybe. Like it's not exactly surprising, but still a bit of a bummer. :p Also this is probably just a me thing, but I wish that Batman was just more successful when it came to saving people. Like, I entirely got that they wanted this show to be for adults so they they could raise the stakes and actually kill characters off... But there are just a few instances that feel like a bummer and I wish that Batman was given a chance to save them... Speaking of... Spoilers below the cut!

Man! I'm bummed out by what they did with Harvey! He's my favorite! He's my boi! I love he! And he just gets killed off! Like... I was genuinely interested to see what they were doing with him. It wasn't my ideal direction for Harvey, but it was interesting! And I would have liked to see more of him! I would have liked to see more of the dynamic between Harvey and Two-Face! And their dynamic with Barbara was genuinely very fun to see! But yeah... They killed him off and he's very VERY unlikely to come back! I think that it would have been more interesting if they tried to keep him around. In that last episode, he asks what kind of happy ending he can have where he gets out of this. And honestly, I think that it would have been more fun and challenging for them to try and answer that question! But nah. They just killed him off. Siiiiigh... Also when thinking about the themes of the show, them killing Harvey off feels a little... Troubling... So at the very least, if Caped Crusader does return for a second season... I sure as FUCK hope that Harvey haunts the ever-loving FUCK out of the narrative! Cause honestly, I could have stood to see more of this interpretation of him! But alas! Siiiiigh...

Also lol. Apparently my prediction of the direction that they were trying to do with this Two-Face and Harvey was spot on. And that's kinda hilarious! :P

[semi-imaginary-place]

Story is identical twins got circumcisions and one of them was messed up so badly there'd never be a "normal" penis. Fuckwad psychologist (why is it always these old cis white men psychologists that are the worst) decided to use this chance to prove his hypothesis that gender identity is entirely learned through social conditioned and tried various abusive and medical ways to make David a girl including reproductive surgeries, feminizing hormones, socialization, and whatever the fuck this is:

"Money theorized that reproductive behaviour formed the foundation of gender, and that "play at thrusting movements and copulation" was a key aspect of gender development in all primates. Starting at age six, according to Brian, the twins were forced to act out sexual acts, with David playing the female role—Money made David get down on all fours, and Brian was forced to "come up behind [him] and place his crotch against [his] buttocks". Money also forced David, in another sexual position, to have his "legs spread" with Brian on top. On "at least one occasion" Money took a photograph of the two children doing these activities.[24]

When either child resisted these activities, Money would get angry. Both David and Brian recall that Money was mild-mannered around their parents, but ill-tempered when alone with them. When they resisted inspecting each other's genitals, Money got very aggressive. David says, "He told me to take my clothes off, and I just did not do it. I just stood there. And he screamed, 'Now!' Louder than that. I thought he was going to give me a whupping. So I took my clothes off and stood there shaking."[24]"

"Both David and Brian were traumatized" no shit.

Anyways it failed. And the psychologist went on for years touting this case as proof that he was right despite every bit of evidence point to him being wrong. David continuously insisted in childhood that he was male and lived as male in adulthood after being suicidally depressed because yeah between the everyone telling him he's a girl, the forced body modification, and the sexual abuse by dr. ego. And the trauma carried through into adulthood he killed himself at age 38.

Now this is just one case if this happened to 1000 identical twin pairs maybe some of them would have identified as female what's more important is how even though David was not intersex his case highlights many of the struggles of intersex and transgender people. I mean he was assigned a gender shortly after birth and raised as that gender but always felt it was wrong and the people around him did everything to make him female. Is that not the trans experience. Gender is complicated and this case rejects dr. fuckwad's single souce explanation. Gender arises from the interplay of internally derived gender identity, gender presentation and performance, and social interplay. Gender is complicated and it's components and relationship with a person are unique to everyone. There's a lesson here too on forcing unnecessary medical procedures on intersex infants and children without their consent or sometimes against their wishes all to better conform them to a binary when even among non intersex people there is amazing diversity among bodies. And it's important that those same procedures forced on intersex infants from gonad removal, to genital reconstruction (making genitals and sticking them on), masculinizing or feminizing hormones, are the exact ones often denied to transgender teenagers who want them. Even as adults it's hard and sometimes practically impossible to get gender affirming medical care. But the right has never cared about being hypocrites only about making the world worse for the greatest number of people.

[ancanosaur]

Does anyone else remember how weirdly toxic the MK Fandom was around MKx era? Becuase I do.

Those like handful of blogs that were just getting into beef with random Kano fans and their whole thing was "Kanno is a peice of shit! And so are you for liking this fictional antagonist!!!" I remember a few who put anti-Kano in thier description of their blog and it was just a hobby to shame people for drawing Kano fanart or liking the character in any way. (And a small revival with mk11 since they made him fuzzy for that game lmao)

Weird uncomfortable age gap shipping... That whole thing about that one artist that drew Cassie cage/subzero stuff and a shit ton of people were like "uh, he's friends with her dad and is like 52. So that's kinda weird." But then it also turned into a headcanon argument bc people were like "yeah subzero definitely watched Cassie cage grow up and he was a part of her childhood." Wich is so funny looking back at it bc there was no need for people to theorise anything about the characters relationship any further than what is Canon for it to be weird.

That fucking Sektor fan who just casually wrote headcanons about Sektor being a huge fucking racist for no goddamn reason?????!?!??? The headcanon specifically was about how they ship him and Cyrax and how Sektor calls him slurs and physically, mentally, and sexually abuses him as part of thier romantic relationship????????????? And they even gave examples of the horribly racist things he says to him¿¿¿? And that Cyrax was just okay with it??? And ended the post with like " I love my evil little man 🥰" No trigger warnings on the post either and when they were critiqued for it they were like "it's realistic and it's just my personal headcanons and you don't have to agree. Sektor is my comfort character and this is just how i see him." -type shit. (Deeper lore about said person. I actually interacted with them way before the headcanon thing. They approached me wanting to rp and they were so controlling they were basically just telling me what to do the whole time. super rude and impatient. So they just suckedl lol.)

Art blogs getting wierd asks that requested them to draw the fem characters in what was very obviously kink art but the asker would ask it in a way to trick the artist into making free fetish art for them. I got so many requests back in the day to "could you draw mileena for me :) but with her jaw wired shut? :)" or "could you draw kitana wereing a new pair of flip flops for me? That would make my day." like ????? Vague to the point of its sus but there were alot of minors in the fandom at the time including myself, i was in highschool at the time. but I was raised on deviantart so I could smell a wierd fetish from a mile away. But I did see other young artists fulfill these requests and several of them completely unaware that they were drawing kink art. Kink art is cool. But not when you're tricking minors into drawing it for you for free. (There was this mileena anon that was the most common one and I swear it was the same dude bc it was always something to do with with her getting her jaw wired shut, her getting bracess, or some other hardware being attached to her jaw/teeth.)

Selfshippers/heteroshippers being like "I know Kung Jin is the only Canon gay character in this very cis het and hyper masculine video game franchise- but im gonna ship him with my girl oc :) becuase he isn't real and it's not wierd to just pick the only gay one :) out of a huge line of big muscle men to choose from :) to ship with :) my female girl she/her lady with a vagina self insert :) or ship him with Cassie :) bc they are friends and should date :) I know he likes men :) and erasing that part of him :) erases :) a big part of his character :) and character arc :) but he would look cute :) kissing girls :) bc im :) girl :) and so is Cassie cage :) and my oc :) - is what I remember.

2015/16 really was a time for the fandom.

[thatonegaybrit]

; idk why but after reading some posts I js realized why it took me years and years of questioning, years of discomfort, years of self hate and years of forcing myself into labels to realize I'm transmasc & like guys. Like, like it took me years and it was because

; ( long under the cut + rant like but w a good ending lol /gen )

; because I had been taught men and liking men was bad, was evil, was mysoginistic, was siding w the enemy

pt: ; because I had been taught men and liking men was bad, was evil, was mysoginistic, was siding w the enemy

; and I fully believed this, it was said by my mother and my friends and by social media and influencers and everyone I used to look up too, so why wouldn't it be true ?? So realizing I was transmasc was 100% harder because ppl were clinging on too the whole " if you're born a man or transition into a man you're horrible and evil and disgusting etc etc and there's no getting out of it I hate you " feminism and I wanted so bad to be in a community and to have ppl like me ( and I didn't know of any other safe places ) that I js went with it. I claimed to be a trans ally but I depised trans men & trans mascs, I hated cis men especially ! I hated everyone who was masculine or liked masculine people. I was like legit a terrible person and a huge exclusionist and I didn't even notice. Because I genuinely thought I was in the right, because I'd been raised like that. Because I'd been continuously told that. So I wasn't a " bad person " I was a good person, I was correct and I was spreading good information

; and yk I was devastated when I realized I was transmasc, it was horrifying to think because " oh shit oh no I must be broken, be evil !! and what if I js get worse !?? What if I end up like other men oh no ! " and that is terrifying to think that's how I used to think, like, that was normal for me. That was right.

; but funnily enough after being like okay I'm transmasc now what !?? I went to some transmasc / accepting queer centered blogs & sites & discords and I swear they were so welcoming it flipped everything I knew on it's head. I'd been told they were all gross and mysoginistic and rapists and js terrible people but the nicest person there who helped me sm was a cis gay man. He was kind and supportive and helped me through what I was feeling .. !! He didn't even get offended by my original thought process because his brother had been the same, his friends had been the same, most trans men / mascs in those places had been the same. They'd all thought something was wrong w them, that they were horrid people and they were betraying women etc etc.

; and I'm forever grateful I got out of that way of thinking, I've never been happier being myself. Letting others be themselves. And I don't feel so broken anymore, I don't buy into the " siding w the enemy !! " bullshit because that's what it is, bullshit. Plus I know I don't have to look a certain way to be transmasc so it's helped my dysphoria to an extent yk .. But it still really pisses me off that people hate men for purely being men, that's stupid and literally genuinely not what feminism is, its not what inclusivity is, it's just shitty and stupid. You aren't just born a horrible person and it certainly isn't based off something like gender or sex. And you sure as fuck don't get to call yourself inclusive for it.

; anyways I love you trans men & transmascs and all masculine / man aligned lovelies in all your ways and yeah. You're not evil or disgusting or betraying anyone just because you are a man / masc person <3 ( this also goes for anyone expressing themselves masculinely / who look masculine <333 )

[redditreceipts]

I’m on anonymous bc I really am scared to say this. I’ve been seriously.. iffy about trangenderism for a while now. Growing up, I’d go on online forums and talk about how much I hated my body and how I had ‘top dysphoria’ and instead of people telling me everything will be ok, that my body is wonderful, they instead added fuel to the fire and encouraged my hate toward my body. Just so you know, I was going through puberty when this was happening, and it is very common for kids going through puberty to hate their body. It’s not being trans, it’s growing up. And looking back on it, I'm pissed about the whole thing because those people ruined me and allowed me to speak ill of my body. And I find it so ironic that these people who encourage people to change and mutilate their own bodies are the same people who preach about body positivity and loving yourself for the way you look. The hypocrisy is mind blowing and it sickens me. I'm sorry for this rant, it’s just I’ve needed someone to talk to about this, but due to the ideology I’ve practically been raised with due to having unlimited access to the internet, I’ve surrounded myself with people who are super woken and shit and so I have no one to talk to about this, so I got really excited to see someone with the same views as me. I’m part of the LGB community. I’m bisexual with a lean toward men and I’m also on the aromantic spectrum. But I’m starting to realize just how fucked this whole ‘community’ is and it horrifies me to realize what it’s done to my brain.

hey :) I'm glad that you found my posts somewhat helpful :) and yeah, I also had a lot of "top dysphoria" when I was a teenager. It pushed me into an ED and it is so hard to overcome, especially when the people you try to talk about it with are basically just telling you "you don't like how society now treats you because of your breasts? well, how about you cut them off?" the worst thing for me was that people talk about being trans as something intrinsic, and if you try to come to terms with your body, you "run from it" and "your egg has to crack". You can't change it, and if you have only the slightest doubt about your gender, you are actually trans because "cis people don't think like that".

I don't even think that we have to love our bodies, but just accept them. They're just there and the fact that we have certain features is to me just like the sky being blue and the grass being green.

However, you could be angry with the people who made you hate your breasts in the first place: What did you learn to associate with breast, and what with breast development? How did the way people interacted with you change when you first got into puberty? How do you have to police yourself, your clothing etc., when people without breasts don't have to? Why is the female breast such an important cultural characteristic? There are societies in which women walk around without covering their chest and it's just normal, no one bats an eye. Why don't we have that here? Why do we have to cover up?

I wish you all the best! 💕

[runthepockets]

Honestly, as a man, I think most of my greivances have been with online leftism and the attitudes the queer and feminist spaces have towards men in them have been more damaging than almost anything else in my life. I've stopped thinking about my middle school bullies, and everyone knows my abusive mom and ex girlfriend are insane, but the attitudes I'd been faced with on the internet as a teen still seem to sit with me.

It's the constant judgement. The perpetual social hierarchy of how men are only ever oppressors and be wrong in situations. "Never trust a man who says all his exes are crazy, be wary of men who speak poorly of their mothers" while women who say all their exes are crazy and speak poorly of their fathers are only ever met with sympathy and the usual "lol yeah men are trash". Masculine hobbies and modes of presentation being put down to uplift feminine ones, "when you see a 10/10 girl with a 4/10 guy" comments just cus the guy looks like a dude who works at Target rather than a goddamn movie star, penises and facial hair and deep voices are yucky disgusting, The Ick, "hate when big groups of men are laughing, what's so funny, rape and misogyny?" Videos of dudes crying and talking about how they're having a hard time is just met with ridicule and emasculating commentary from both men and women who posture themselves as kinder and smarter than the status quo, "weh weh raise the male suicide rate they're all rapists and abusers anyway", other dudes siding with women who do this shit cus they're more concerned with being One Of The Good Ones than they are having a fucking spine or a sense of individuality, not realizing they're just the male equivalent of pickme girls.

Idk man it just hurts me. I've been abused by a lot of women, had my sexual advances blown wildly out of proportion because the women in question either regretted engaging with me later or wanted to keep running with this narrative that they have no agency and are perpetually victims in their own lives even though I haven't really done anything to make them believe this, and all it gets me in these spaces is blank stares and awkward silences, when I know if the genders were flipped I'd get nothing but endless support. I'm not as upset about one of my exes making false rape accusations against me as I was as a teenager, but I'm sometimes nervous around bringing it up in leftist spaces at all because I figure folks are just gonna find a way to warp it and make me feel like I imagined the whole thing and that my ex had every right to be a shit to me because she's a girl and girls doing anything is Girl Power, even when it's actively harming others.

I'm sure me being black and trans plays a big role in this too, but again, 1) I'm not a fan of putting emphasis on my marginalization for brownie points, 2) I actually am straight, masculine, gender conforming despite those marginalizations, so there's really no identifiers for me to hide behind and claim "false comparison" over, I actually am all those things that online queer and feminist spaces take issue with and it still sucks and has actively done damage to my self esteem over the years and 3) I've seen other men-- cis, white, whatever-- of all backgrounds talking about their frustrations with this too. It's just another form of socially acceptable bullying and I kinda hate it.

People ask why I go stealth irl, why I don't go out of my way to befriend a ton of queer and liberal people my age, and why I'm adverse to communities that pride themselves on being diverse and all accepting and shit, well this is why. Cus every time I talk about a problem or criticize reactionary sentiment in those spaces, I'm met with me just being ~a pathetic man who's too sensitive to letting marginilized people vent~, I'm told that I'm part of the problem, I'm told that if I stopped being so rape-y and entitled and if I just fell in line like a good little man that I wouldn't have any of these problems, no actual solutions or sympathy, just condescension.

Yeah, of course I identify with bro culture, speak highly of masculinity, and entertain playful douchebaggery after years of that. That stuff saved my life and isn't hostile to my existence or my desires. I'm loud, energetic, assertive, with a hazing / controversial sense of humor and morality, there is no timeline where I'm going to be defanged and docile and see it as acceptable to walk all over someone for things they can't help, no matter how "privileged" they are. These subcultures let me be a man in a way a lot of online (and honestly, irl) leftist spaces aren't really willing to allow or deal with.

[psshaw]

Got some interesting anons while I was hiking on vaycay. I've been thinking about how to answer these for awhile.

Content warn for detransitioner coping. Also me rambling at varying levels of tact. Obvs I'd appreciate any trans or detrans people who have something to correct or add to help this person.

Hi. So. 2 things you’re doing here that I think both cis and trans people mess up at all the time, especially when they're stressed.

One: Listening to other people more than yourself. Two: Looking for other things to blame in a way that stops you from learning from your own choices.

I think I understand some of what you experienced, but the conclusions you’re drawing feel distorted and self-serving. It feels like you jumped from one prescriptive view (girls have to be boys in order to like certain things or talk to certain people) to another prescriptive view (masculinity is something you have to earn and perform in a certain way).

Anyone who critiques what you do or how you present yourself for not fitting a certain term has more in common with a 50s martini dad than they do with a walk-the-walk humanitarian. Personally, I am not interested in defining masculinity (or femininity, which I notice you didn’t claim to also have prereqs for)— I know some soft-ass bitch men who are still men. Standards for gender are arbitrary location- and time-specific rules. They’re also weapons we use to fuck with each other. Imo calling someone un-[gender] is kinda like telling a western teen with an ED that they’re not skinny enough: it's not helping anyone's health or peace of mind. The only point is to feel superior somehow.

I don’t see a point in setting hurdles for gender expression when I can instead worry about demanding unisex reasonable and rational interpersonal behavior.

(I also just find gender extremely boring. I was not raised to care much about who's doing what as what. Gender should matter in sociology, pronouns, fucking, and... that's probably it. Focusing on whether someone is performing something correctly or whether you should buy an enamel pin that says "spacegender" on it are both addictive navel-gazing activities that could be replaced with more demonstrative self-actualizing like making art, joining a hobby/activism community, or reading something you normally wouldn't.)

I don’t think I need to tell you that taking hormones in order to make friends is a very strange thing to do, no matter how young or lonely you are. I think you should check in with yourself ASAP to figure out why you sought out voluntary medical assistance to impress other people. (People who you assumed would only talk to you if you were trans…? So, possibly bad people.) This would never have occurred to me. (I am scared of needles.) This sounds like a tendency that will kick your ass more than just this once.

The nice thing about people is that you can walk away from one and find a better fit. If you're a weird chick, I hope you take pride in being a weird chick. I hope you make yourself hard to replace or replicate. I hope you learn to love unnerving or impressing people as you flip through them looking for the ones who "get" your wavelength. I would personally rather have no friends than to try to please someone who doesn't like who I actually am. That sounds exhausting.

If someone actually told you you can't use "she" pronouns while taking T, that person's a dorky little snot. "Uhhh, the Gender Bible says this is a violation of the Gender Commandments... I'm telling Gender God"— big deal. Gender Spankings and Gender Hell only exist if you believe in them. Fuck the system.

But yeah— you tried something, it was a mistake, and now you have to navigate life with it, like an impulse tattoo or juvenile leg-lengthening surgery. You are not a “mutant”, you just slid around the human secondary sex characteristics scale. My condolences on the beard and stuff. I think the best you can do now is to find a way to embrace it and let it make you an extra quirky gal. You have a dark past now! That means experience! You can use this flub to make yourself into a cooler, smarter person that future kids can admire and learn from, not someone obnoxiously bitter who they won’t even wanna talk to.

The way you describe your experiences/projections, I assume you were born after 9/11. The millennial trans people I talk to don’t talk about gender the way you’re describing. They grew up in the “no homo” and “I’m not like other girls” era, and I think it made most of them pretty "none of my business" about how people present overall. They just wanna be able to go out and be respected and loved.

I’ve noticed that Zoomers have perfected identity-based consumerism and putting yourselves(?) in boxes. I have traced a vague progression: GNC/queer people existing forever while being maligned -> “no homo” shit -> Tumblr wave feminism -> greater LGBT acceptance leading to freer expression (but still mainly via buying clothes and makeup) -> more people realizing you can fuck with gender and see if it solves your problems -> genderfuckery becoming a half-joking recommendation (I've experienced this directly) -> half-joking rehashes of gender essentialism without realizing it -> The Present, where I’m watching the early 20-somethings I know fret every few months about what gender/sexuality/mental health labels they should use, as if there’s going to be a quiz at the gates of Heaven.

Obviously I don’t get that last half. Part of that is because I’m cishet, and I’ve checked in with myself enough to know that there’s no other label that will solve any of my problems. I know that every time I acknowledge an autism semi-diagnosis, it makes me content with my flaws instead of trying to fix them. I would much rather be on thin ice and have to be alert to how my actions affect others than to be implicitly accepted because I called myself something. Again, what in you craves that kind of effortless belonging, even at the cost of your sincerest wants? Do you crave unconditional love, or would you prefer deep understanding? What can you feed to that need instead?

I'm friends with trans people because we share the same hobbies and worldviews. My friends do not seem to care that I'm cis as long as I'm respectful. I like that I can fuck with gender stuff around them and they won't judge. If someone jokes that I'm wrong about my own identity, I do get kinda embarrassed for them, but I also choose to take it as a compliment that they see themselves in me. Nobody can control what I do. I love being a good example and reminding people of all groups not to assume!

I also don't list identity stuff in my bios, so everyone has to give me a chance and guess based on how I act. Then... they find out they like me. >:)

Anyway. I hope you feel better! I hope you make some friends who aren't freaky-obsessed with gender, "critical" or not. I wouldn't mind hearing more from you, but also: I will not debate the validity of transness with you, because I think there are way more important things people do that we need to whine about. Also it puts me in a weird position cos I don't like to yell at anons.

[spikeinthepunch]

I dont know if this is something youd want to hear, but i absolutely love how during the beehive quest, brad is constantly emasculated and put down for being ugly and fat and bald and worthless and everything a man shouldnt be. But then during the campfire cutscene right after, Queen tells him hes hot. Not in a pitying compliment way, but in a way that someone actually believes in and likes about him.

I just thought that everything that was said to brad during that quest was a culmination of everything that has been said to him growing up, and that hes said to himself as well. And that someone saying he actually thinks hes hot... he needed something like that.

duuuude please i love getting asks at all i legit NEVER get asks and talking about my current fixation? yes please.

i forever love love queen's campfire scene esp when you get it right after the beehive quest. brad faces quite a bit of general 'old and bald' stuff in the game. and brad's general silence makes it kinda hard to know what he feels? i think in most cases we assume as players that brad is cold and stone faced. which i dont think is wrong. but the new dialogs, and especially in queen's, do show how stuff gets to him.

there is a very long line of emasculation and toxic masculinity in Brad's life. Marty and his grandfather push it so hard-- a lot of the emasculation can be seen in Brad's flashbacks/new dream. Brad is put down a *lot* in that way and we see it again with that quest. (and that weird island. place? that weird place where he also has to put on the dress? that whole thing was weird in another way lol. but it still brings up the idea).

queen is very straight forward and has no issue throwing down the compliments-- i think its something he is genuine about because hes a gay middle aged man living in a world of other middle aged men. and no one in olathe is gonna fall in that conventional attraction category, esp considering the state of the world. no ones keeping up with shit about their looks lmao. especially stereotypical cis straight men.

brad certainly has a lot of shyness and repression around the topic of sex but i think its easy to assume the series of actual compliments he gets from queen stun him because its the complete opposite of what hed been hearing. anything along the lines of him in some kind of sexual fashion'/context was degrading. but queen's compliments that lean towards sexual interest were actually positive. its probably some of the only words he has heard that can raise his self-esteem because they dont put him down for those aspects.

but yeah i wholly agree. the topic of brad and femininity and masculinity is an interesting one in the context of that quest. because outside of those negative experiences from others we also got to see how hes indulged with 'girly' things for younger girls (lisa and buddy). which i think is cute and lovely. but knowing one of those situations, with lisa, ended with them be reprimanded (to what degree...? who knows) i feel like that also could have been an easy starting point for being closed off with things that were not "masculine" enough... and then further comments in regards to his looks and whatnot-- comments insulting him for what are male features/ugly or even being treated in that sexual aspect as if being seen as feminine and being treated poorly through projected sexism like in the beehive situation............... it would all easily bring bad association to all of that.

sorry idk where i am going with this. i love brad and i love queen. insane about that campfire scene forever. i heard that movement in the dark. i want to know what that fucking was

[fierceawakening]

"testosterone poisons people, but… only if they’re born with it, at which point the damage is irreversible. But yet if you’re NOT born with it, and you ingest it exogenously, you’re… okay? Or maybe you’re not. I’ve seen the argument go both ways." When r/gendercritical was up, one user theorized that T is a "one-way" hormone, meaning HRT fucks up trans men but doesn't unfuck trans women. But that raises the question of why TERFs don't promote puberty blockers as STANDARD PROCEDURE for boys.

Yeah. That bit alone makes me think it's primarily about fear mongering, about the idea that there's something uniquely horrible about people who are "born male."

And I just... I don't think that? About trans women OR about cis men? Horrible people are horrible because they don't care about others, or because they are so profoundly blinded by their pain they don't see any alternative.

Do I think society pushes a toxic form of masculinity on people, especially those it deems boys? Yes. Do I believe THAT fucks people up? Yes.

But like. Even if testosterone makes people more naturally competitive, competitiveness isn't bad. POOR SPORTSMANSHIP is bad.

(Says the AFAB person who competes at a game where... pretty much everyone who plays competitively is a cis man, and who thinks some of said cis men are absolutely ROTTEN AND GROSS when it comes to "I won so I'm officially a better human than you"... but plenty of others are not that way at all.)

[winterwerewolf]

Coming to terms with being a man.

I am certainly not the first to bring it up and I will not be the last but: The hardest part for me personally as a trans man is not the fact that I experience severe gender dysphoria, it's the fact that being male/masc or a man has been so severely demonized by queer people that were supposed to be my friends, my found family, that it steered me right back into an even bigger closet for 8 years. Yeah. 8 fucking years. I knew I was a man when I was 12 years old and aside from the obvious hostility I faced because of garbage cishet people it was even worse through non-cis, non-het and non-cishet people.

I see others like me trying to raise awareness for this issue only to be shut down as someone who "whines and bitches" or even "tries to separate and divide the community". Every time an issue is brought up by trans men we are accused of "looking for issues where there are none", we are accused of "attempting separatism" and accused of "stealing other peoples spotlight" by OTHER queer people no less and all of this gets sort of covered up. As if queer people cannot be evil. As if being queer and specifically being trans somehow absolves you from being a massive bitch and asshole towards other trans people.

You do not have to punch me in the face to make clear you want me to face/experience violence. You don't have to say "I hate trans men in particular" for me to know that you do. When I found the Hashtag Transmisandry and Transandrophobia I cried tears of joy because there was finally a group of other men and mascs who have very similar experiences to mine. I am thanking y'all on my knees and kissing your hands for being brave enough to share these awful experiences even when faced with hostility and scrutiny and even though retelling also means reliving them to some extent. My point here is: Queer people who are hostile towards me have always had this weird victimhood complex of "I was affected by the patriarchy therefore it is my right to hate men." When I dared to point out that I also have experiences with the patriarchy (as does every member of society btw, there are no people unaffected, they are just affected in different ways) I was told to shut up and sit down because I could not possibly understand what it feels like to be raised in a misogynistic society. As if I am not viewed as a woman by transphobes and alike. As if I was not raised "like a girl". As if I had no fucking first hand experience and still do because I do not "pass".

I was there in the boat with you and you decided that, no, actually I never fucking was because what, it challenges your narrative about trans men experiencing zero oppression?

Anyways, this is long and ramble-y enough as it is so to finalize this emotional mess: Fuck TERFs, TIRFs and Baeddals or whatever y'all decide to name your cute little hateful-group next for making me feel like I have no voice, no right to love myself, like I am somehow rotten through and through. Fuck you so hard.

[eroticcannibal]

I’ll just get this out of the way: I believe in transandrophobia or whatever people want to call it, I believe in listening to trans mens experiences.

BUT. I cannot stand most of the big people on here who discuss it for reasons similar to the recent post you made about how privileged women still experience violence.

I once saw a thread of trans men all saying that cis white women who fear violence and being kidnapped murdered, shouldn’t fear that, and that any cis white woman who is scared of misogynistic violence has just been brainwashed by mainstream true crime and crime shows, and a couple people said “lol they don’t want you why are you scared”.

I am a white cis girl (I’m also a trans guy but that’s not super relevant rn lol). I fully know my privilege and frequently have discussions along the subject of white privilege with friends of color. I don’t shy away from the topic.

but I have almost been kidnapped twice in the short 18 years I’ve been on this planet. One of my earliest memories is that experience in a shopping mall. Every cis girl I know, white or not, has had real life experience at least once with this kind of thing.

and when I saw that thread, it made me feel ill. To me it feels like so many other trans guys on here decided that the “being a man doesn’t make you bad” doesn’t apply to any other privileged group because they didn’t want to be seen as deniers of other forms of privilege. I also saw an entire thread where a shit ton of trans guys were literally saying that, because white cis women are the physical “vessels of the white race”, then apparently we are not at risk of domestic violence because cis white men need us to keep their dream of a white supremacist world alive. and many people responded with righteous outrage just to be dismissed as “well they are just trying to defend white women”.

the fucking rampant misogyny in these spaces is so fucking hard to deal with, and they complain all day about how people ignore issues men have, then turn around and act like one form of privilege means your other experiences of oppression don’t matter.

so long story short thank you for those posts I’ve been so ducking exhausted lately trying to find a balance between discussing transandrophobia with other transmascs, and protecting my mental health from all the misogyny in those spaces. it’s so fucking tiring.

U get it. U get it. And yeah this sickening attitude towards women is rampant in spaces that support the idea of transandrophobia (and honestly I think this most recent wave of "progressive" misogyny is squarely on trans men who believe in transadrophobia, and insay that as one of them) I wasn't sure if I was gonna call out that group specifically myself but since u bring it up!

Also I think we saw the same post cus that sounds like one of a few that set me off lol

Like im not even shocked at ur experiences there. I have experienced and seen some SHIT while playing the role of a white cis woman. And it was all normal. The women who raised me to always be on guard did that for a reason. The distrust of men among white women isnt from brainwashing, its from knowing half your friends were molested by their male relatives and seeing their mothers get beat every evening.

But also that other example you discuss... now I've not seen it in these spaces specifically but I have seen *some* people dismissing violence against white women due to something something white supremacy and just. Its truly sickening. Its evil. (And shows a fundamental misunderstanding of white supremacy, female subjugation is an intrinsic part of it).

And yeah like you say. Any time someone brings attention to any of this shit its "how dare you defend WHITE women". As if they arent still women.

And especially when the social space i occupy still overlaps with the experiences considered that of white women, when I'm facing these justified fears of violence (again) in my day to day life.... yeah. Its fucking exhausting. When the spaces that claim to support my experiences as a man dismiss my experiences and fears because those are the experiences and fears of icky white women. (When they arent even mutually exclusive categories, and even people like me and the most cis of cis women have more in common than difference)

[moonboy-ish]

Hello! I'm Koy it's a pleasure to meet you

I'm an 18 years old trans (neurodivergent) dude who's barely starting his transition sooooo stick around to see how this goes! ✨

My friends took as a hobby giving me names so here are the ones I have from them that stuck

Koray(Koy)

Alejandro(Ale)

Felix(Lix)

I'll be using this blog as more... NSFW ish… in thoughts, rambles and arts, and more personal stuff I guess

Sfw & art blog: @kabs1912

I’m going to leave my little wishlist here if any of you guys want to gift me something ;>

More stuff about me

Sometimes use emojis as tone indicators (and tone tags), but not on prompt writing

I’m T4T~ had some experience with cis people 😒 and that is just not my cup off tea anymore

I’m bisexual with a preference for mans, and also polyam, but currently I’m single

I would say I’m a bottom/sub maybe power bottom if I put in the effort but honestly I like the idea of someone taking the lead

I’m in fact, a virgin

Love pet names!! ✨

Feel free to interact if you are

Part of the LGBTQ+ community

Specially if your trans

18-25 years old (specially if you want to dm me)

A decent human being in general

DO NOT INTERACT

MINORS, MAPS, RACISTS, TRANSPHOBES, RIGHT-WING BITCHES, DETRANS, AGEPLAY, ANY FORM OF ED BLOG, MEN DNI BLOGS, HIGHLY RELIGIOUS christian PEOPLE

I have religious trauma so yeah, politely fuck off

I don’t like you and you won’t like me

DM/ASK/General Interactions Rules

Almost every pet name is welcome, but if you're going to call me pretty or beautiful it has to go with “boy” or something to match my pronouns like “pretty boy” or “beautiful thing” just don’t like the feminine implication on them

Please try to use all my pronouns, not just he/him

No photos on DM, just, don't, I'll post when I'll post and I don't want yours there so, yeah

I tend to be really irregular with responses on DM (adhd acting up) so I apologize in advance, sooner or later I’ll remember that I only answered in my brain

If you come up as aggressive or I don't like your vibe I probably won't answer

If you make me uncomfortable in any way I WILL block you

ALSO IF YOU’RE OLDER THAN 30 DO NOT TOUCH THIS BLOG, GET OUT OF HERE YOU COULD EASILY BE MY PARENT AND THAT’S JUST WEIRD THIS WILL GET YOU BLOCKED IMMEDIATELY

Questions list: https://www.tumblr.com/moonboy-ish/738710799823126528/bigger-new-list-of-sex-questions

Kinky and horny stuff

I'm into: bondage/restraint; cock warming; corruption; pet play (especially puppy play); spanking; biting(I have an oral fixation); slight knife play; size kink; praise; slight degrading; body worship; edging; overstim; breeding (NO PREGNANCY OR RAISING); free use, but just in private

Okay Terms: (boy)pussy, cunt, hole, chest, clit, (t)cock

I'm NOT into: any body fluid aside from cum, sweat, tears, or blood (in small quantities and period blood is a no); misgendering, or any form of forced feminization; Religious Kink(at least if I don’t explicitly say it’s fine); body modification; Any form of incest(fauxcest included); any public stuff that isn't in a four-wall room like, there can be other people, but not in public spaces

•If something is not listed is because I don’t have an explicit opinion on it, feel free to ask if something interests you and it’s not here•

TAGS:

- Koy-prompt: scenarios and prompts

- Koy-ramble: rambles and thoughts

- Koy-sfw: sfw

- Koy-nsft : nsft

- Koy-asks : asks

- Koy-pics : pics

- koy-art: nsfw art that I don’t feel like posting on my main blog

Last updated: January 8th, 2024

[shivasdarknight]

I never uploaded these concept doodles I did of ocs of mine. I'm sure some of them are obvious as to what barcodes I scrubbed off for them, but regardless we got some non-fandom characters that I'm still really endeared to - you'll see them crop up in my animations a lot! And the animations are why these sketches exist so I had a decent enough reference for drawing? Decent. Not perfect since my first Celes one was way off model, but regardless

(under the cut because theres a Lot)

Diana Wrenreth (she/her) - she's been one of my oldest ocs and one I've had for a long while now. She and her twin, Hestia, are mixed kids - with Diana taking after their Moirai father, and Hestia taking after their Dulla mother. So, half elves to a degree but also not. Their father came from one of the few draconic Moirai lines left so Diana's a bit of a raptor/wyvern, but has that Dulla knack for wrangling and befriending fiends and as such is a horse girl but...yeah the horse is a six legged carnivorous hellhorse. She's like...I think 5'6", mostly uses darkness and ice, is bisexual, and has two girlfriends - Andrea, and Anastasia

Hestia Wrenreth (she/her) - Diana's twin sister (so also 5'6") who leans more Dulla than Moirai. She's a lesbian who's a bit haughty, but I don't really do much with her than have her stand in contrast to Diana. Mostly because Diana gets into trouble a lot while Hestia tries to keep her head down. Like the name implies, she's fire aspected and whatnot, and she has a girlfriend in this oc of mine named Rose (shut up), but otherwise just keeps her head down.

Andrea Hunt (she/her) - so this is my huge werewolf butch. Her family is the head of her hometown and they want her to follow suit, but she really doesn't vibe with that. So she's constantly skipping town to hang out with her girlfriends. Really obnoxious jock type, 6'3" or so, and a lot of fun. Like I said, butch lesbian and her girlfriends are Diana and Anastasia

Anastasia Spiros (she/her) - it's gonna be really obvious what she used to be in a second, but Anastasia is another mixed kid. She's a 6'1" Moirai and Einhenjar, but was raised by her Einhen father since her Moirai mother (one from an equine line) abandoned her. Her dad did what he could, but she was self raised and self taught for most of her life regardless. Still loves her dads (yes, dads! he now has a half-elf botanist husband), but she'd rather focus on herself since it's all she's done. Due to her mother being an equine Moirai, Ana inherited those traits but...She got stuck with warped, permanent horse hoof legs. Her wings are retractable, but the hooves are permanent (okay yeah she used to be an aasimar/tiefling). She's a femme lesbian and is with Andrea and Diana

Rhombi Nerodi (he/him exclus) - another mixed kid, this time an Einhenjar and a Changling. Rhombi's got a very devil may care attitude and kinda lives each day like it's his last. Einhenjar don't really take too well other Einhenjar they can't control - be them banished, or mixed kids like Rhombi and Anastasia - so they often don't let them stay unaffiliated with the Barracks for very long and this ends up with them hunting Einhen rogues down. It's in part to keep their actual nature in check since they project a noble Men Only thing, but they're really these fucked up eldritch monstrosities - and Rhombi? With his mother being a Changling? Yeah, his form is very fluid and he likes to reflect that when possible. Beyond, he's also living proof that Einhenjar aren't all cis men only (with daughters tending to be near 100% like the moms, a direct opposite to Valkyrie): Rhombi's a trans man. So him being a Changling's kid wound up being the biggest boon to him. He's bisexual and polyamorous, and in an open relationship with his loving girlfriend, Celes.

Celestrias Stratos (she/her) - Celes is fun, I love her. She's 5'8", a Moirai from a sea snake line, and a roboticist and makes her own prosthetics. Unlike the rest of the cast, she's not from the main area (Daedrus), and instead from a really different content called Essios. All Moirai that live there are of aquatic or avian lines, like Celes' sea snake line, and they coexist with peoples not seen in Daedrus like various centaurs or true elves (elfin rather than elven - the elfin are split into two groups and both are winged, while the elven were originally called Seelie and are split into two groups with four subgroups in each). This content also doesn't ban technology the way Daedrus does, which is why Celes is Like This. She got quickly adopted into the main group, and wound up dating Rhombi. She's a demi-bisexual in an open relationship with her boyfriend, and yes it is something they both use

Pricus Marinus (he/they) - 6'1" quiet guy. He's a Dulla from where Diana and Hestia grew up and is very good friends with them and Rhombi, the latter of whom he does a lot of work with. Don't let the soft boi stuff fool you, this guy is built underneath the heavy clothes. He's a farmboy who's good with both animals and fiends and just way prefers to be by himself? Nerd, soft spoken, yet can and will kick your ass if it comes down to it. I haven't really figured out much for him besides being just the Quiet One of the group, but I do know that he's bisexual because that's mandatory

Neilos Metaxas (he/him) - okay so this douche. 6'3", I'm not sure how I'm gonna do his color scheme but it needs to scream douchebag and sleezy but uh. Yeah he's another Moirai from Essios, but he's not apart of the group. He's specifically over here trying to track down Celes because he's got this warped idea of their relationship because he's a roboticist who sees himself as her one and only rival where as she doesn't even give him the time of day? The bracers are docking stations for drone stuff he uses. As far as Moirai go, he's not a recognizable animal from irl because he's technically descended from a snake line but it somewhere got mixed with some centaurs and so now he's just this. Big scaly "centaur" that has the general shape of one, but has a stupid long snake tail, a snake head and hood and it's just fucking weird looking. But also he's 9ft tall like that. Anyways, he thinks he's straight because of the Celes stuff but he's confusing envy for attraction and this bitch is gay. And an antag.

Avalon Tellus (she/her exclus) - this is another old ass oc that's gone through a lot of revisions. Avalon is a Moirai and a bounty hunter that specializes in taking down dragons. As far as marks go, dragons are...well they're tricky because first you gotta find the human form they hide in and then contend with their big ass dragon form. Avalon is one of the few that intentionally tries to keep them alive, so she usually gets hired by people trying to track down family that are being difficult. And that's how she met her current boyfriend, Akuma - she kicked his ass because his cousin wanted some sense beat into him, then the cousin changed the terms of the contract from "bring him back" to "no, you gotta guard him now". Part of what makes Avalon a pretty adept one is the fact that she's from a draconic line of Moirai, so she often leads like she's not but it ends up in a fight between two very large dragons (though since she's a Moirai, she doesn't look like any of the dragons that can be found in Daedrus). Because of Akuma being their godfather, she helped raise Diana and Hestia (and their brother, Marcus) when their parents were killed. More so the twins, but regardless she's been more of a parental figure to them than their own parents got to be. She's a bisexual trans woman, and like I said her boyfriend is a really obnoxious dragon named Akuma and they're assholes and stuck with each other now .w.

i need to get more profiles done lmfao

[sammygender]

long post below be warned

i dislike the way in some feminist circles—and in this particular instance, this means a Guardian review of Barbie, so it’s not even a feminist circle, but i see it a lot while hate-stalking radfems and i hear it a lot in conversation—every little fucked up psychological trait people do, if the person talking about it is a woman, is attributed to womanhood. ‘i am a woman and to exist as a woman is horrific under the patriarchy (true!) and therefore i do this messed-up thing (insert statement).’ and when starting to think about this i said this: i do not know if my dislike of this phenomenon is because it’s true, and it makes me feel weird to think about it because i am a trans man, or because it’s not true, and it feels weird that people attribute human things to Women things (or woman-socialised, non-cis-men, anything that woke people use as a buzzword when they mean ‘woman and anyone i see as a woman’) and act like non cis men have some unique capacity for empathy that cis men/men (differing people will have their own opinions on trans men, and obviously the terfs just think it’s afabs, but i’ll go at this from a perspective where i ignore them) don’t have.

or, rather, i said: i’m sure it is true, for some people, that womanhood has been so traumatising for them that they developed defence mechanisms, but i would argue that is a result of trauma that happens to be gendered and not a thing every woman does & not a thing only women do. & i don’t know if i’m being weird and picky and potentially antagonistic in not LOVING this phenomenon, or whether i’m simply aware of gender essentialism. bc it’s not nice to police how people talk about their oppression. but it also just… feels overly simplified.

FOR EXAMPLE. some of this is because i am a trans man, and it’s horrible to think that my intense, cyclical self-awareness of ‘so i’m doing this, but i KNOW i’m doing this, so it’s okay that i’m doing this!’ is because i was raised as a woman. and that starts to feel like it could be true, because i do have experience of being a girl within me, and who am i to say that this complex, a result of constantly feeling Annoying and like the only way to break that cycle of being Annoying is to be Aware of being annoying because somehow that makes it better, ISN’T because of that? when you actually think about it, though, this feels… silly. how in any way is this an experience unique to women? maybe that they are taught to police themselves and their looks and their everything - true. maybe that leads to that experience of needing to be too self aware. and i see how someone could recognise this trait within them and go This must be because i’m a woman but. it’s like very much a trait i can see in men just as much, just as often, and i think we need to hesitate before ascribing experiences precisely to genders and gender roles we inhabit. first time i ever saw this feeling of irony-piled self-awareness properly expressed was in fucking homestuck, the striders, at one point bo burnham’s 2021 special inside articulated it well. when i read homestuck as a transmasculine 13 year old it felt vaguely like a ‘guy experience’, mostly because i wanted it to be. now i often see this voiced as ‘girl-coded’, something every woman experiences, often paired with poems about making sure you’re always aware of how you’re perceived. but it’s the same damn thing, maybe slightly occasionally different, but same thing. gendered socialisation fucks you up, yeah. women get it worse because they’re oppressed, yeah, but the whole concept of gender enforced into a child is traumatic.

anyway one day ill write an essay on this. & fandom reception. stuff like ‘eldest daughter syndrome’, traits that are seen as inherently gendered but just Aren’t always. it’s always a simplified take.

this goes both ways BTW i’m talking about the problem in feminism bc i am a feminist. but it happens everywhere. one of the most glaringly annoying examples is the idea that ‘men can’t express emotions’. like yes, that is true (to an extent) that men are seen often as weak if they cry! it is ALSO true that, historically, women have been legitimately locked in insane asylums for having feelings and wants more complicated than serve husband and make food for child. it is also true that if a woman shows emotion in front of a man, very often she gets easily dismissed as insane or hysterical. arguably this problem is worse for women because women are like actually oppressed.

and it’s interesting because this leads us to a conclusion - that just you can say ‘i repress my emotions because i’m a man and have been punished for expressing them, in a uniquely gendered way’, you can say ‘i repress my emotions because i’m a woman and i have been punished for expressing them, in a uniquely gendered way’. to go with my previous example - you can say ‘i’m ironically self-aware because i’m a guy and not meant to feel emotions genuinely’. true, this is a thing men are taught because they’re men. you can say ‘i’m ironically self-aware because as a woman i’ve always been mocked for being genuine.’ true, this is a thing that happens to women because they’re women.

anyway. until we get past just designating things and experiences as ONLY for certain genders, we will never get free of gendered oppression/misogyny bc it’s innate to this obsession with gender as 2 binary polar opposites. there’s commonalities, yes, but nothing unique about female or male ‘socialisation’ and you don’t necessarily have more in common with someone the same gender as you just as you don’t necessarily have more in common with someone the same race or the same age - you have SOMETHING in common, but not everything. & it’s weird to presume you do