#but yes here it is

[handswaps]

beast monster thing (love isn't love enough) - car seat headrest / nobody is ever going to want me - giles corey / post by @hivemindz / you're a dog - gilla band / dog - charlie parr / we should fight - ezra furman

[serenebeasts]

This will probably have been in the drafts for a while by the time it’s posted because there’s a lot and I get tired SDKFJSFDKS but without further ado: the WIP rundown no one asked for.

Organised at the very least by subject matter, because while I may be out of control, I’m not a heathen.

WARNING: these won’t be spoiler-free.

Also, I’m noting this here because otherwise I’ll one hundred percent keep restating it with half the items on the list: I like angst I like to have fun :)

This is about to be so long. I apologise in advance if you’re of a mind to read the whole thing, and I thank you if you manage it.

Akash: Path of the Five

Ignatius/Aurora body painting – Ignatius asks Aurora if he can practice the art of body painting on her! Body-painting ensues, and also kissing. Aurora flirts with her man, her man loses his composure several times. Post-game, maybe post-wedding but I haven't decided that yet.

Andromeda Six

“I loved you, Vexx.” – f!Traveller/Vexx. You know that one scene in the storage room where the Traveller is supposed to interrogate Vexx but then you have the option of making things a bit emotional? Yeah.

Post-episode 5 – Because for some reason I wanted to sit in the feeling of terror and panic after Vexx gets shot. There will be content warning tags for medical procedures. I’m undecided on whether it’ll be Vexx route or Damon route, but either way Reba has a lot of love in her heart for Vexx and she is very worried for him.

Wereshark Vexx – More of a general AU idea than an actual work-in-progress at this stage, but it’s horny. Safety-for-work to be determined. Also, it has “wild stallion tamed by a teenage girl” energies, but instead of an untamed herbivore it has Vexx with some kind of metamorphosing virus, and instead of an adolescent schoolkid it has 20-something Princess Reba.

Blooming Panic

“Make me.” – xyx and lovelylola experience everyone’s favourite ‘challenge your significant other in a loving but definitely not god-honouring way’ trope, with LL as the perpetrator. A series of little moments, all inspired by the appearance of that line in the actual game.

Changeling

Ewan/Nora Build-A-Bear – Ewan and Nora go to the aforementioned store. Nora is an agent of chaos and somehow manages to create the perfect Ewan Bear despite the fact that there is no such real-life thing as Headless Teddy (trust me, I scoured the website. But you bet I'm making it work). I’m having maybe too much fun using the Build-A-Bear creation process as a narrative device.

Dragon Age

A Weakened Mind – Fenris/f!Hawke. DA2 Fenris + a combination of canonical spells that have an effect which is similar to the Feeblemind spell from D&D 5e = pain.

Gang AU – f!Cousland/Zevran. It's an Origins gang AU. She has bits of a fic but no plot, your honour.

Post-Enemies Among Us – Hawke being like “Ah. Mind control. These are the continued consequences of me not minding my own business. We love purposely not sleeping in case we were going to have nightmares.”

Twinblades – f!Cousland/Zevran. You know how in Awakening the flavour text for these default daggers equipped to a rogue Warden is like “these belonged to some guy from Nevarra for like a day but then they were nicked”? Here’s a concept: Zevran took them for his babygirl (gender neutral). Unclear how integral the daggers are to the plot as a whole, but they are very important to the beginning of the fic.

Fire Emblem

“Who is that?” – Gaius/f!Robin. An expansion on Robin and Gaius meeting in the Shepherds’ base camp, because in game it’s (I think?) Chrom who has to speak to him to recruit him, and I was like “But how does the tactician who now has to fit another moving part into the battle plan feel about this? And how does Gaius feel about the strange-looking but also very pretty tactician?”

Jeralt is Dead – Pain! Grief! Academy phase Byleth struggling to process her father’s death, the Blue Lions not knowing how to help her process it!

Kill Miklan again – Sylvain/f!Byleth. Post-game, some mage somewhere finds TOWSITD’s necromancy handbook and goes “You know what we should do with this? Bring back the Ashen Demon’s husband’s piece of garbage brother. Great plan, team! We won’t be hunted down and made to pay for our crimes at all!”

Lorenz/Marianne first date jitters – Post-game. Lorenz Hellman Gloucester puts his big boy boots on and woos Marianne von Edmund, like the newly-realised Actually A Genuinely Nice Man that emotional maturity has helped him become. We all clap for him.

Student Byleth AU – More of a collection of ficlets than one whole piece, but all of them feature Byleth as a student at the Academy rather than one of the teachers.

Sylvain/f!Byleth Hanahaki AU – The general storyline probably speaks for itself, but I ask the additional question: what if mutual pining meant double the sickness?

Sylvain/f!Byleth modern jousting performer AU – Sylvain Jose ‘I embody the Showy Horseman knightly archetype’ Gautier works for an entertainment company which I’ve described in my notes as being Medieval Times mixed with WWE. He flirts with Byleth ‘I’m a world-famous pop star but I also like swords so I have a season pass to the fake joust show’ Eisner a lot. Also, Jeralt says ‘canoodling’.

Sylvain/f!Byleth smut – There’s a bit of background to set the scene, but not much active plot once things get rolling. Sylvain has been in Fhirdiad, Margravine Byleth has been running the show in Gautier. Reunion time!

The Cat – I’m not sure if I want to finish this one, but the gist of it is that in academy phase there is this one very large tomcat which has decided to hang out in the Blue Lions classroom, and he’s in a bit of a state because he’s unwell. I’ve mostly been pantsing so I don’t know what the fuller plot is, but there will be a time jump to war phase and the big fluffy guy will come back looking strong and hearty. Something along the lines of ‘parallels between Dimitri Then and Dimitri Now, but with contrast provided by the physical wellbeing of a domesticated feline’.

The Grand Cathedral of Garreg Mach – Azure Moon. Getting fancy with the metaphors again to compare the absolute state the cathedral is in at the beginning of war phase to the absolute state of one Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd during the same time period. The cathedral gets repaired as time passes; Dimitri's mental health improves with some care and patience from those around him. Hints of Sylveth.

Greedfall

“Governor’s legates aren’t quite the same as Naut captains, my love.” – A fun little drabble about my De Sardet and Vasco having morning snuggle time and debating whether she really needs to get out of bed and attend to paperwork right this minute.

Dearest Constantin – De Sardet writing a letter that she'll never send, because she killed her cousin for the greater good.

Hades

“Am I a monster, Achilles?” – Zagreus asks Achilles for some good old-fashioned father-figure-brand reassurance because he just got his ass beat by Theseus, a.k.a. The hero king who did all of that neat stuff with killing bad guys and was granted Elysium, and his self-esteem is not high.

Hypnos/Zagreus smut – Barely any background and no plot to speak of.

Mass Effect

“Tell me something about you, Commander Shepard.” – Garrus/f!Shepard. We start during 1, with Garrus querying Shepard in an effort to foster a positive relationship between them, because at that stage he’s one of exactly two non-humans on the Normandy and it seems wise to make friends with the commanding officer. ‘Tell me something’ quickly becomes A Thing That The Commander And Garrus Do at incidental points across the trilogy.

“There are aliens on deck.” – My humble contribution to the classic ‘Shepard squares up with someone being less than polite about her alien crew’ scenario, but this time the perpetrator is also a Normandy crew member. No xenophobes allowed on this starship.

Alchera – The requisite expansion on Hackett’s assignment to collect dog tags and sight out a spot for a memorial on that one particular ice planet where Shepard, y’know. Died.

Banner of the First Regiment – Inspired by the turians in Purgatory who are looking for the titular artefact in 3. Shepard finds the banner and returns it, as one does when one is doing a playthrough where one is trying to do all possible assignments, and the officer buys her a drink, which turns into a drinking contest. As I was brainstorming ideas for it, I started drawing connections between the implied situation of the First and the Tennyson poem The Charge of the Light Brigade, so that will probably have some significance.

Everyone has heard of Commander Shepard. – From the POV of an as-yet nameless and faceless Alliance marine assigned to the Normandy after the Reapers first hit Earth. It’s had a few facelifts since I first started drafting it, but the core of it is a third-person perspective of Shepard at the beginning of 3 with a few hops forward in time up to and including the pickup of a certain turian sniper at Menae.

Garrus is… – Garrus/f!Shepard. The classic ‘using repetition to show something evolving while having a constant at its core’ technique.

Hell hath no fury like Shepard defending her crew. – Another one with not much of a plot yet; thus far it’s pretty much just some sections of one scene and that’s it. A rando on the Presidium starts trash talking the Normandy crew, and my dear darling Aspen Shepard reacts as any self-respecting Australian does when overhearing baseless trash talk about her friends: immediately starts shit with said rando about it.

Home – Garrus/f!Shepard. Truly disgusting fluff about Shepard having a bricks-and-mortar home that she owns for the first time in her life, thanks to Anderson’s gift. Kind of a collection of moments rather than a full narrative, but what’s important is that one of them involves Shepard asking Garrus to move in.

Lost But Not Forgotten – ME Andromeda. If you’ve played Andromeda then you’ll probably recognise the title because I lifted it directly from the questline about searching for the turian Pathfinder. In my outline notes I’ve written, and I quote, “I wonder if Ryder and Avitus would trauma or grief bond about them being Pathfinders for their respective races, and having become such Specifically because the previous Pathfinders intentionally put Ryder and Avitus before themselves because they loved them”, so that's more or less the gist, with a side of ‘Avitus was Macen’s second, but Ryder was just Alec’s kid’.

Post-EC ending – Shepard lives (😤) and, after a period of recovery and a lengthy negotiation during which she has every right to ensure her requests are met with no conditions, she gets a cruiser and a small crew and goes off to do something I haven’t plotted yet because all I have written is the emotionally compromising first chapter, post-game, from Garrus’ POV.

Sole Survivor – Everyone loves a good bit of pre-canon speculation on what kind of hell a character went through during XYZ backstory element, right?

Monster Hunter

Rider and Kyle being enemies – In context of the story progression of Wings of Ruin, the main character and Kyle resolve their differences fairly quickly. But what if they were only allies for the sake of saving the world, didn’t actually like each other or get along outside of world-saving tasks (although Kyle makes a half-hearted effort at first), and continued to butt heads for several years afterwards?

Pokémon

Crime de la Crime – Guzma/OC. The providence of this one can be traced directly back to the fateful day I entered my local cinema and watched ‘Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)’, to use that masterpiece’s full government name. Chaotic ‘hero versus… villain, question mark?’ AU, where Casey is the super-powered Spitfire and Guzma is the master thief known as Shadow.

First date – Guzma/OC. This is by no means their ‘canonical’ first date, as it were; it might end up being so, but I need to write out everything that comes before it in their timeline of events (specifically We Are Kings and the Kalos arc) to be confident it would go this way. As it stands, Guzma takes advantage of the fact that Casey thinks the occasion is special enough for a dress rather than her usual shorts-and-a-graphic-tee fare and makes a dinner reservation somewhere fancy enough that reservations are encouraged.

Grim Reaper AU – Guzma/OC. Fairly self-explanatory. Guzma is the Reaper, Casey is a recently deceased whose soul Guzma is responsible for safely escorting to the afterlife. I couldn’t just let it be simple, though, and there’s action and adventure involved as well as some ‘past lives’ flashback shenaniganry.

We Are Kings – Guzma/OC. The piece of writing which explores how Casey and Guzma get to know each other and catch feelings. Follows the broad timeline of Sun/Moon. One of the things about this one is that I started drafting it during a time when I was dealing with Stuff, so I used the original version as a way to vent my frustrations. Casey was only sparsely fleshed out at the time, but she’s much more so these years on, so I’ve been wanting to give the fic a major overhaul—i.e., demolishing the whole thing and maybe keeping a few scenes that would still work in an entirely reimagined version of the piece that allows Casey to shine more as a developed character rather than just as a Face for Audrey’s Self-Insert Guzma Fantasies. I had been posting the original version on AO3 until I decided to rewrite, and it’s still accessible (incomplete) Here. I might even leave it up once I get the reboot sorted, just as a fun point of reference.

Kalos University arc – Guzma/OC. I’m making myself keep this mostly in the planning phase because how it pans out is directly related to how We Are Kings goes. But, in summary: Casey, having figured out roughly what she wants out of life, decides to do her undergrad at an entirely made-up university campus back in Kalos. Guzma stays in Alola. It’s kind of a ‘long-distance situationship’ thing.

ME Casey AU – Vega/OC as well as Guzma/OC (with a side helping of @fightfortheusers' Makai), so it really could have gone either under this heading or Mass Effect, but she was a Pokémon OC first, so that’s where I’ve decided to keep the folder. Another which is more a collection of scenarios than a fic, but there is this whole thing about Casey being one of the Normandy crew members abducted by the Collectors in 2 which could probably be refined into a proper work with the amount of content it has.

Paramore The Only Exception – Guzma/OC. Requisite ‘but what if it wasn’t mutual pining’ fic, as per the angst fic writer playbook. One-sided, with Casey as the ‘side’.

Plumeria glances at her – Plumeria/OC. Just a Plumeria/Casey drabble, because Casey is my little bisexual angel baby.

Small-time Rock Band AU – Guzma/OC. Me being a dirty rotten former 5SOS diehard, I wouldn't be myself if I didn't have at least one of this flavour of AU. Casey is the guitarist in a locally renowned band of which Piers Swordandshield and Olivia Sunandmoon are also members. Guzma is in the audience one night. That's as far as I've got so far, but if I know my own mind, I'll come back to it shortly.

That being said – Raihan/OC. This one stars my Galar OC, Lottie. There is some sort of red carpet event pre-relationship, and the gym challenger whom Lottie manages (@fightfortheusers' Matteo, icyww) has managed to wrangle her an invitation to said event as Raihan's plus-one. She wants to strangle the kid, it's very funny.

Redacted Audio

Inversion – Milo/Sweetheart. The contents are pretty self-evident; I’m subjecting everyone to Inversion fic. While what I’ve drafted thus far is from Sweetheart’s POV, I think it would be fun and not at all upsetting to include the rest of the listeners whose partners are involved in the storyline. The opening will be the aforementioned Sweetheart POV, including them getting a situation report and proceeding to shit themselves in worry without reprieve until they see that Milo wound up on the outside of the ward.

Helping your feisty werewolf boyfriend shift again – Milo/Sweetheart. This one came to me before the Inversion fic, so I guess I’m working backwards? Stay tuned next year for Freelancer & Caelum baking fic, if the trend continues. With this one the intent is to put an actual written voice to how Sweetheart might have reacted to Milo “I am at my limit” Greer having a very understandable breakdown about his damaged core and unresponsive shifter magic.

When The Night Comes

“Gods above and below.” – Omen/Alkar/Hunter. Zeina has been out of town on a solo assignment, but the day she was supposed to get back has come and gone with neither word nor sign of her. Alkar is freaking out, Omen is only freaking out a bit less. But oh, what’s this? Here she comes, stumbling through the woods concussed and bleeding profusely! Basically, it’s an injury recovery fic.

The novelty hasn’t quite worn off – Omen/Alkar/Hunter smut. Without going into too much detail for the sake of the timeline, this work is Zeina being disgustingly in love with her partners while also trying very hard not to give them the satisfaction of having reduced her to begging.

Zeina dress – Omen/Alkar/Hunter. It’s midwinter, there isn’t much work to do because most creatures dislike the cold, and Zeina is losing it a bit so she decides to make herself a pretty outfit to cope.

Honourable mention for media where the fic ideas I have are languishing in the brainstorming stage: Errant Kingdom.

There are also. Several original works. I might make a separate post for those, if anyone is interested in more of my half-baked fictional projects?

@ejunkiet

[transannabeth]

if you opened discord’s april fools day loot boxes how long did it take you to get all the items? it took my friend 18 boxes but me 65 and i want to see how bad my luck is

[great-and-small]

Bird identification is so fucked up in a really fun way you can’t understand until you get into it. For example, there is a type of goose called the cackling goose that looks exactly like a Canada goose except smaller and “cuter”. The cackling goose is way, way, more rare in most places than its relatively common cousin, so it’s on tons of birders life lists. Everyone wants to see a cackling (look in any bird ID group to see lots of hopeful people posting petite Canada geese). The two species regularly commingle, so sometimes a flock of those common parking lot birds will have the equivalent of a Pokémon shiny just hanging out in the middle of them.

How ridiculous and fun is that? I can never look at a big group of Canada geese without scrutinizing their ranks for an adorable little extremely rare cutie pie cackling goose. It reminds me a bit of mushroom harvesting minus the risk of death if you get it wrong

[gibbearish]

love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking

[mellotronmkll]

This is so awesome

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

strange that "skinny" means thin. it should mean...skinny. characterized by skin. possessing or characterized by an above average amount of skin. more skin rather than less skin. but somehow it means less skin? preposterous

[obviouschild2014]

Thats the last time i buy ‘official’ merch from etsy because who is this.

[softichill]

Trying this again since my last one was missing so many

[pokimoko]

I can't keep being fundamentally changed as a person by animated movies, it's just not sustainable.

[syruubi]

The Hydro Sovereign comes to Mondstadt

[greyias]

Oh look, it seems everyone has been opted into the unfortunate "experiment" now. For everyone who has been blissfully using the old UI up until now, welcome to hell :)

Do you not like hell? Do you want to leave and crawl back up into the sunlight of the old UI? Well, have I got a link for you! A beautiful tumblr user (who is not me) has gone and fixed things beautifully for you already: https://github.com/enchanted-sword/dashboard-unfucker

You will need to have Tampermonkey installed on your browser of choice, and once that's done, just go to the github link above, and peruse the readme to install. And voila! You have your old dash back!

The authors of XKit Rewritten said during the experiments that at the time, since this was an "experiment" they weren't going to implement anything to revert to the old UI (although who knows if they'll do it now). And the dashboard unfucker has worked beautifully enough for me to where I genuinely couldn't tell if they had ended the experiment or not.

[official-time-loop-posts]

Thank you to @sleepnoises for making the original poll & for giving us the idea to to this :)

Sorry if we couldn’t get your favorite on here, we were limited to only 12 options (11 if you don’t include the “other” option).

[stil-lindigo]

the calamity.

a comic about being seen.

--

creative notes:

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all my other comics

store

[quadrantadvisor]

Imagine if the GIW started gunning for Jason without the Batfam ever meeting Phantom. Like, Bruce has to figure out on his own that the guys in white suits with Lazarus guns are 1. a legitimate government agency, and 2. are perfectly within their rights to hunt Jason like an animal, because 3. there's secret government legislation that says that since Jason's body processes ectaplasm, he's classified as non-sapient and has no legal protections.

Bruce calling up Clark like

Bruce: I am currently in the process of breaking into a government facility in order to dismantle their operations.

Clark: Okay? Do you need... help?

Bruce: Yes.

Clark: Sure, I'll be right there.

Bruce: Not that kind of help. Oracle is sending you the files now. I'd like you and Ms. Lane to make these people wish they were never born.

Clark: [speed-reading the documents] Oh yeah, can do. This is truly disgusting. If the public is half as outraged as I am, we'll get this sorted as fast as the courts can manage.

So Clark Kent acts as a whistle-blower, the Justice League publicly condems the Anti-Ecto Acts as inhumane, the GIW is disbanded, and Batman gets pardoned for all of those crimes that he technically did by assaulting federal agents. And after all that gets sorted, some white haired kid pops up in the Watchtower like "haha thanks for that I really didn't want a war between Earth and the Infinite Realms" and the League are like "wait what"

[last-laments]

"Steven isn't solely responsible for the paywall shift" and "Nobody wants to watch Steven eat insanely expensive food and have to pay for it" are statements that can coexist btw.