#ch 4 took like three weeks

[talesofesther]

what once was mine | ch 4

Loki x Reader

Series Summary: When watching what once was supposed to be the rest of his life, in an empty room in the TVA, Loki sees someone he can't recognize; a girl who's all tenderness and loose smiles, and most importantly, she was smiling at him.

A/N: Not sure if I'm completely happy with how this chapter came out, but I hope you still enjoy it.

Masterlist | Read ch 3 here

Loki had watched through a checkered screen how you held onto his hand as if he were your whole world. He had watched the love in your eyes and the smile on your lips, all directed at him. And now, he watched as you, in flesh and bone right in front of him, walked away.

There was a foreign feeling consuming his heart the more you distanced yourself from him. It was akin to loss, but how could he lose something that wasn't even his?

He was about to make the mistake of going after you when Mobius finally returned from the storage room he had been talking to you in.

"What happened?" Loki asked with a hint of urgency, his brows furrowed.

Mobius took in a long breath and then let it go past his lips. "She said she wants nothing to do with you."

Loki's frown only deepened, his eyes shifting between Mobius and the place you had disappeared into. If anything, he looked slightly offended. "Why?"

"Well, it's pretty obvious that she watched her Loki die, right?" Mobius gestured around, sounding a little fed up with all of this. "So it's a delicate subject, give her time, don't get on her face, don't be obnoxious, and she'll likely come around and be willing to answer whatever it is you wanna ask."

Loki blinked at the words, chewing at the inside of his cheek. "I'm not obnoxious."

─── ·❆· ───

"Stop looking at me like a lost puppy," you grumbled with a scowl on your features, gripping tightly onto your food tray.

Loki, who stood right beside you, scoffed. "I am not. I'm looking at the rice you're standing right in front of."

You breathed in, slowly, holding yourself back from rolling your eyes. It's been three weeks since Mobius tried to reintroduce you two, and for the past two weeks, you've gained a new shadow. He doesn't talk much; or interacts much with you at all for that matter. But he's always there.

TVA's cafeteria was usually bustling with people this time of day, which was exactly why you always came by at least an hour earlier; but today you got caught up with work and there was no other option than to brave the crowds, otherwise, you'd stay without lunch.

When you'd picked up everything you wanted to eat, you turned around and surveyed the spacious room for any vacant tables. By the corner and near the railings that overlooked the city—or, what you would call a city here in the TVA, because to be honest, you still weren't sure what to name most of the things in this place—stood the only vacant table left, small and round, with two lonely chairs.

You closed your eyes and mumbled a curse under your breath. You made a beeline for the table, and you didn't have to look behind you to know that Loki was following your steps.

You settled into a chair and a few seconds later Loki made himself comfortable beside you. It was… strange, having him around. The racing of your heart every time he was near you was inevitable, but you were doing the impossible to dissociate any feelings from it. He was just another variant, that was it, nothing more. You just wished you knew what his obsession with you was all about, so what if he saw his would-be future with you? That was not yours or his life anymore.

"Your food is gonna get cold."

Loki's voice caught your attention, you glanced toward him with a frown, only now realizing that you'd been poking your food around with your fork for a while, lost in thought. For a heartbeat, you held his gaze, you allowed yourself to drown in those ever-familiar bright eyes that you'd missed so much. But before you could lose yourself in the ocean, you swam back up. This wasn't your Loki, no; you had to remind yourself of it, time and time again. For your own sake, you had to believe in that lie.

For the last couple of weeks that he'd been following you around, more and more you noticed the same glint in Loki's eyes, a mix between expectant and lost. You wondered if even he knew what exactly he wanted from you.

The only answer you gave to him was a low hum.

─── ·❆· ───

The days inside the TVA blend together easily, that was something you learned in your first few weeks here. In all fairness, it's what one would expect for a place out of time. Sometimes the day they captured you as just another variant felt like ages ago. Sometimes, it felt like just yesterday.

It had been difficult when you first arrived here, nearly unbearably so. In the blink of an eye, you had lost your entire life, everyone you still loved and held dear became unreachable. It was either starting a new life here, or ending your life altogether. For some reason, you still felt like living.

The TVA kept you busy then, enough for you to not succumb to panic. As days went by, it became easier; as time passed, or as Mobius would tell you, as time passed differently, you became almost numb to what you'd lost. Almost.

A sigh went past your lips as you ran your fingertips over the paper. Mobius usually had you go over each file reporting a possible new Loki variant. Finding patterns and creating connections they otherwise wouldn't have noticed. You tried not to dwell too much on the fact that you had to use your connection to the person you once loved as a form of work.

Your desk stood by the edge of the library, away from too much commotion, a cozy little space you'd given your own personal touch to over the time you'd been here. A few books here, a small cassette player there, a snack drawer, a sketchbook, a purple desk lamp; small things to remind yourself you were still human.

As much as you could, you made a new home here.

A shadow suddenly appeared over the paper in your hands, you straightened your posture on your chair before looking up.

Loki stood before you, in his dress shirt and dark jacket with the word variant on the back—you'd worn one of those too on your first days here, now that you recall. He held a fresh stack of papers in his hands that already had you internally groaning.

"Mobius sends his regards," Loki smirked as he dropped the papers on your desk.

"Great," you mumbled, sarcasm dripping from your words, "it's not like I wanted to sleep tonight anyway."

A beat passed and you could feel Loki's gaze still lingering on you. From the corner of your eyes you watched as his fingers nervously tapped the wood of your desk. You hated that you knew this habit of his oh so well.

"Maybe I could assist you." Loki pulled a chair from the empty table to your left, setting it on the edge of your desk so he could sit down. But before he did so, he said, "If you'd like."

He was giving you an out from spending time with him, even if that was clearly what he wanted. You nearly took it. Your lips hung open, ready to say something like; I work better alone, or go bother someone else. But your eyes suddenly had a faint burn behind them, your chest squeezing tight around your heart—the heart that still bled and missed him every day. "Knock yourself out," you found yourself saying, without looking up from your paperwork.

Loki sat down on his chair beside you, took a few of the papers in his hands, and for a good few minutes, the silence that lingered between you was, surprisingly, somewhat comfortable.

Stealing glances at you was inevitable. As Loki read the files in his hands, the words started to blur together, and he found his gaze drifting to you. He observed the way you'd frown slightly as you read over the lines, sometimes scoffing or mumbling something to yourself.

You were quite annoying, Loki had to agree with Mobius on that. Stubborn, closed off, and hard to read. If it were anyone else, Loki wouldn't even consider losing his time of day, but each time he saw you, his heart jumped and stumbled inside his chest, he grew short of breath, cold hands turning clammy. It was inevitable. His body acting against his will, as if his soul ached to touch yours.

He had to know why.

"May I ask," Loki began, hints of hesitance in his words.

Your eyebrow perked up a little, but you still refused to look at him.

Loki pursed his lips before speaking, "Mobius mentioned you've been here a while, that he found you could be useful. But he never went into detail." He let go of the papers in his hands, "how did you get here? Why didn't they prune you?"

You visibly tensed. Jaw setting tightly into place as you took in a short breath through your nose. For several moments, you kept quiet, eyes fixed on the same words in the file you held as you considered whether to humor him or not. You weren't sure why you answered, the words simply rolled off your tongue; a subconscious reaction to the sound of his voice.

"It was my fault, I tried to travel through time when I knew I shouldn't. They caught me pretty much immediately." You chuckled humorlessly, stealing a glance toward Loki only to find his eyes already focused on you. You nearly drowned again. "They kept me around because…" You hesitated, and then merely gestured to the scattered papers on your desk; "I know a lot about Lokis," you shrugged, "and they needed help with that."

A small frown came to Loki's features as he weighed your words. He twirled one of your pencils between his fingers. "Why would you travel through time if you knew you shouldn't?"

Immediately, Loki knew he'd touched a nerve. Your whole demeanor changed, it almost felt like a curtain had fallen over you and a whole new person sat beside him. What little you had began to open up, was back under lock and key.

You didn't raise your voice, you didn't lash out. You simply cleared your throat, turned away from him, and said; "I thought you wanted to stay to help me work. So either do that, or leave me be."

Loki's lips hovered, ready to retaliate with a quip of his own, but he bit back any words he might want to say. Give her time.

He nodded to no one in particular, and indeed went back to work.

Later at night, when the TVA was strangely quiet, and most people had already turned in for the night. Loki glanced beside him only to find you drifting into sleep; one hand holding your cheek and the other loosely holding a pencil that had scratched a weird, faint line into the file on your desk.

It felt unexpectedly intimate. Loki glanced from one side of the dim-lit library to the other, as if looking for a clue on what he should do.

Carefully, almost comically so, he took the pencil from your delicate hold and stacked the file you had with the small pile he'd created.

The desk lamp right beside you cast a faint glow over your features, shaping your cheekbones, nose, and lips. Loki couldn't help but notice, that the light also shaped a thin but rather deep scar running from your forehead to the beginning of your left eyebrow; from the look of it, it appeared to have been there for a while now.

Without giving himself too much room to overthink, Loki reached out and gave a single push to your shoulder. His fingers tingled from your warmth.

You stirred awake, gasping softly as soon as you opened your eyes. You blinked several times, willing your mind to focus back on reality.

"I suppose we're done," Loki told you, keeping his voice just an octave lower as he turned his gaze to the small stack of papers. "If you're quick, you can still grab a few hours of sleep before the new day starts."

"Right," you breathed, running a hand through your hair. Eyebrows still furrowed as you processed what was happening.

You tidied your desk in silence, and Loki put the chair he had borrowed back in its place. He turned to you then, half expecting you to simply turn around and walk away. You didn't, and maybe it was a trick of the light, or the fact that he could visibly notice your eyes dropping from tiredness, but your features were the softest he had ever seen them be. A quick glimpse of the girl he'd first seen from the life he was supposed to have.

Loki held his breath. He wasn't sure why, but he did.

"Thank you for the help," you gave him a tight-lipped smile, refusing to hold his gaze for more than a second, "see you around."

With that, you turned around and left. Loki's heartbeat kept the same rushed pace until he reached his own small bedroom.

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Read ch 5 here

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keeps me motivated to continue posting here, so I’d appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment. <3

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[songmingisthighs]

Pitiful, You're Pitiful

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ch. iii

group : ateez

pairing : aged up!wooyoung × aged up!reader

genre : angst, mature

word count : 2.5 k

warning : adultery, cheating, medical condition (?), mentions of loss/miscarriage, negative depiction of wooyoung

a/n : I'M FINALLY UPDATING THIS HOLY SHIT i would like to thank stress and my manic episode for making me abandon sleeping at 4 am and just went nyoom with this

a/a/n : btw happy black day 🫶🫶

buy me coffee ?

The three weeks that passed after Wooyoung's incident was rather hard on you but it was severely... bland.

Mind you, there was nothing in particular that happened but between finding out you were pregnant with a child you didn't even know how your cheating husband would feel about and finding out the person your husband cheated with was his staff member, you couldn't tell if your morning sickness was mostly caused by your pregnancy or as a physical reaction to your current marital situation. Not to mention your daughter had been severely opinionated regarding your care of her father.

Despite everything, you still took care of Wooyoung well. That day you left after finding out that Wooyoung was with a bitch who had some audacity to make big claims about her status, and you came back not two hours later with Wooyoung's things. Upon your arrival, Wooyoung was visibly tense, as if he was being wary and you assumed that the nurse said something about the whore he was with not being his wife and he panicked because how was she supposed to know that? You didn't make things easier for him either when you showed up all calm and collected unlike how a wife usually would react upon finding out that her husband had been hospitalized. He knew how you would usually fuss over him when he was ill so your behaviour struck to him as abnormal and concerning. Or well, something to be concerned about, it's not like he would be concerned over you at this point, right? Though, you excused yourself as being out of it and he just bought the lame excuse. Luckily, his mom soon came and later when you brought your children to visit him, your behaviour became less of a concern and the next two days he was under observation went by smoothly.

But still, the turmoil you felt didn't die down, it stayed stagnant within you and you were at a point where you were feeling too much but couldn't exactly let anything out. Except for puking, that's non-negotiable.

"You need to check that stomach bug out," Wooyoung said as he poured himself a glass of coffee upon hearing your footsteps nearing the kitchen. You had gotten into the habit of ignoring him because you didn't know what you would do or say to him if you opened your mouth. So you simply let out a hum of acknowledgement, not even bothering to answer him completely, not after you just emptied your stomach. "Did you drink any wine last night?" Wooyoung asked, now leaning on the counter to look at you who had situated yourself on the stove to prepare your children some breakfast before they had to go to school. But of course, you simply shook your head whilst turning the electronic inductor on and placing a pan over the surface.

It seemed like Wooyoung had taken note of your odd behaviour and while normally you would be glad that your husband had taken interest in you, all you felt was just sick to the pit of your stomach. It was as if his attention no longer mattered knowing that he shared that with someone else. Someone who hadn't done anything for him for years only to be betrayed yet someone worth risking his marriage and vows to you for.

Wooyoung huffed and pushed himself off the counter to go over to you, leaning on the countertop close to you to take a good look at your face. "I'm worried. You seem like you haven't been yourself for quite a while now," boy did you want to whack him and claw his eyes out for saying that because how dare he act like he cared when you knew he had something going on with a cheap side piece. But you held it in as best as you could, balling your hands tight that the spatula in your hand almost snapped and just shrugged, "d'know what you're talking about," you muttered lowly, trying to avoid as much interaction with him as you could. With a sigh, Wooyoung tried to push some hair out of your face but for some reason your body moved involuntarily out of the way as if revolted by his touch which surprised Wooyoung who stood aghast, staring at you with wide eyes as you stared him back with nose twitching. Knowing you (ironically), you would not avoid his touch or act as if he was going to hurt you because (to his knowledge) he had never hurt you nor does he have shown any inclination that you should be afraid of him. Both of you just stood there in the kitchen, Wooyoung in surprise at your reaction and you in annoyance and once you finally took a good look at him, you glared at him in anger and boy did Wooyoung took notice of that.

"What?" He asked, stupidly, you might add. "What?" You answered back, returning to scooping breakfast to your children's plates. "Okay, sure, act like you haven't been avoiding me these past three weeks, (y/n). Did something happen when I was in the hospital?" yes, you got hurt but you were as fine as a peach because your mistress was there, "Are you mad that you had to take care of me these past three weeks?" no, but I am mad that your whore claimed to be your wife to the nurses and even had the gall to visit you while I was right there against my will, pregnant and all, "Did I do something wrong?" and that was when you snapped your head and crossed your arms at Wooyoung, "I don't know, Wooyoung, you tell me. Did you do something wrong?" though he wanted you to answer him, the tone of your voice surprised him greatly to the point that he straightened up. "Hm? Tell me Wooyoung, is there something you think that you know is VERY wrong that you wish to tell me right here right now?"

How you wished you had a camera to capture just how stupid Wooyoung looked. It was obvious to him, or made obvious to him, that you knew that something was up but there was no way Wooyoung could confirm that you knew that he had been cheating on you with his subordinate out of all people. As much as it was the most logical answer to your sudden hostility, Wooyoung didn't want to accidentally confirm his suspicion much to your dismay.

The moment he heard footsteps rushing to the kitchen was the moment Wooyoung believed that God existed because he knew the conversation was coming to an end. "Morning!" Woohyun chirped, throwing his book bag by the doorway before rushing to give you a hug, completely unaware of the tense situation or even the stare-off you were having with your husband. With one final glare, you shifted your attention from the cheating bastard Wooyoung to Woohyun, smiling to cover up your annoyance, "Morning Woodonnie," it had been a while since Woohyun grew out of his lisp phase but the nickname stuck and he liked that you had a special name for him, "Slept good?" he nodded with a wide grin, "Want food?" his grin widened and his nod was firmer. "Dayoung, do you want food?" you asked your daughter, who was too busy grinning on her phone to actually look at you, "Hey, Dayoung?" You called out again, sighing after carefully handing Woohyun his plate of eggs and half a toast.

Realizing that Dayoung was ignoring you, Wooyoung huffed and snatched Dayoung's phone, causing her to let out a 'hey!', "Your mother was talking to you, Dayoung," he stated, unimpressed with his daughter's blatant disregard for you (for once). Dayoung rolled her eyes and turned to you, "Yeah, I want breakfast, if not I wouldn't have come here now, would I?" Wooyoung was about to scold her but he was stopped when he saw you visibly gag, halting everyone's activities. Then you gagged once more before dropping the spatula on the counter and rushing to the toilet without saying anything else.

"She hadn't thrown up on those eggs, did she?" Dayoung asked, cringing at the thought of you doing something to her breakfast. Wooyoung snapped his head to Dayoung and glared at her, "Can you not? Your mom is sick and the last thing she needed was for you to act disrespectful to her," he scolded which surprised Dayoung because, to her knowledge, Wooyoung hadn't been that defensive of you for a long while.

"Is mom okay?" Woohyun asked, worry visible on his face and he was about to get off his chair to go to you when Wooyoung patted him on his head, "Don't worry about mom, okay? She'll be fine and she'll be even finer if she sees you eating," he smiled, trying to assure Woohyun which thankfully work as Woohyun began eating his breakfast with so much gusto Wooyoung had to tell him to slow down.

When Wooyoung got to you, you were getting out of the bathroom, looking pale and sweaty. He immediately approached you with a small towel he grabbed from the linen closet when he was getting to you, "Really, (y/n), you need to go to the hospital and get this checked out. I'll go with you today, okay? You definitely can't go anywhere yourself right now, I-" you simply snatched the towel from his hand and pat your mouth dry, refusing to look at him as you turned away, "I'm fine, Wooyoung, I can manage myself," it was the first time that you hoped he would just shrug and go back to not caring but of course, Wooyoung didn't come through when you desperately needed him to. Instead of leaving you be like you wanted, Wooyoung grabbed your shoulders gently and turned you around, "(y/n), please stop being stubborn and let me help you, okay? You're clearly unwell and whatever it is, we can get rid of it and you'll be better!"

You knew that he didn't mean it like that because you knew that he didn't know about the growing person inside of you. But still, with your current state both physical and emotional, you were hurt and you couldn't help but think that his words meant that he didn't want the child that he helped create.

Balling your fists, you used the tension in your hands to stop yourself from rushing over and punching Wooyoung in the face. Instead, you pushed his hands off of you. "Like I said, I can manage myself. Shouldn't you be worried about work? You know, with people at work that you need to give more attention to?" you tried pushing past him to tend to your children but he effectively blocked your path with his body, frowning down at you, "What's with you? I'm trying to help here, (y/n), I'm worried about you!" "Well, maybe you've been ignoring me too much too long to the point that right now I'm so used to doing things myself without your help, Wooyoung. You've been very absent from me and I'm sorry to say this but it has come to the point that your presence is actually making me feel annoyed and I don't know if it was because of you in general or if it's because of this very uncharacteristic shift in your behaviour that's making me wonder if you're compensating for something or if you genuinely want to be there for me now."

Though you had managed to not physically hit him, your words stung worse than any slap you could deliver to him. Wooyoung was painfully aware of how distant he had been with you since your miscarriage and what he thought was his attempt to give you space had instead caused a rift in your marriage. He never meant for things to go this far, heck he never thought that he was capable of cheating on you but when another woman approached him when he was crying in the practice room to offer him a shoulder to cry on, he felt like his own pain was being acknowledged. After all, the loss didn't just happen to you, it happened to him too. While you were in your zombie state, Wooyoung manned the ship and put himself on the back burner, not even letting himself falter and stupidly not letting himself process the pain. He wasn't justifying his infidelity whatsoever, he knew that it was beyond wrong and he was disgusting for committing to it for so long. But it felt nice to let his vulnerability taken care of even if it ended up with him using someone he had no affection for as a mean to get some form of twisted connection because he was too ashamed of himself to touch you again.

Wooyoung stood there silent, not knowing how to react, or more like not knowing what to react to first. So you simply shook your head and walked past him, this time successfully.

Soon, Wooyoung heard Dayoung and Woohyun saying (yelling) their goodbyes which was then followed by the front door shutting.

When the silence of the empty house settled in on him, he found himself slumped on the couch, emotionless as your words kicked him all over. His chest burned with hatred for himself and his fingers became tingly from anxiety. He couldn't help but think of the ways he had failed as a husband and perhaps as a father considering how his daughter treated you. It dawned on him how mad he was when Dayoung disrespected you earlier, how he hated seeing you, who had always treated Dayoung with a lot of consideration, to be treated that way. And while he felt justified for chastising his daughter for her action, it was almost laughable how he didn't do the same when what he had been doing was a hundred, if not a thousand times more disrespectful. He was a hypocrite. You didn't deserve this.

Negative emotions welled inside Wooyoung, creating turmoil that almost made it hard for him to breathe.

Unfortunately, despite his realization, Wooyoung found himself driven to an action he had repeatedly done like a sick act of compensation when he was feeling bad. His hand fished the phone out of his pocket and his fingers moved as if on their own, immediately finding the contact that he didn't even bother to fake because he trusted that you wouldn't snoop because you were not that kind of a person.

"Hey, I know you're not busy until later in the evening, can I come?"

And the self-hate repeated itself.

But how much can he hate himself when he is being distracted by shallow, unfulfilling "pleasure" instead of dealing with his true feelings? How much more pain should he give you before he could finally take the first step to stopping and coming clean?

Maybe this was the last time he did it.

Maybe.

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[val-cansalute]

PICKING UP THE ———- PIECES -———

ch.3 - 18+

cw: smut below the cut, mdni, cunnilingus LOOOOOOL, fingering, tribbing… but, like, some dirty talk 😥 idk ppl… idk… still got like three chapters left 🐺 proofread but not very well cuz i’m gonna fall asleep

ch. 1

ch. 2

ch. 4

ch. 5

ch. 6

If you squint hard enough--

“Yep, it’s fixing up pretty nice, kid.”

-- you can just about make out the flecks of dust flickering in the influx of honeyed light through your windows.

“Not swollen anymore.”

And you can watch them flutter gently in mid-air, never quite meeting the ground.

You could watch them forever. Just sitting here, just like this, just like them, basking in the gentle warmth of the sunlight, the hazy sound of the nurse woman’s voice, suspended in the incessant grip of your pathetic melancholy.

“You should be fine to be back up on your feet now. Should try getting some fresh air soon.”

Her voice comes back into focus immediately.

There are stages to grief – so they say. But, to you, it feels more like a whirlpool of every emotion you’ve ever felt that you’ve been stuck in for what seems like forever, only growing in ferocity as time passes.

Been stuck in the same stage for a while. Been feeling like some external force has just been dragging your body to places day to day, not fully aware of what’s going on around you. And, as you said, soon as you can walk again, you’re out of here.

Are you even allowed to grieve a person you slaughtered?

“Yeah. Will do.”

That’s the signal. A week or so and you’ll be gone.

Do you have a plan? Do you need one? It’s not like you’re running away. You’re leaving – just, without telling anyone. You’ll just pack your shit and… go… where?

Roam?

It’s morning, the light that follows the storm-ridden, long, harsh hours of night, and the eery stillness of the snow blankets the earth now, though it was once pummelling towards the ground in malignant winds.

Ellie had woken up before you, and quickly ensured that wasn’t an issue by seemingly putting all her power into each step she took and object she lifted and aggressive sniffle or violent coughing.

What a pleasant way to wake up.

She quickly rushed off to the stables, thanking you for letting her stay the night, and once she was gone, you realised that there was an odd air of domesticity in your interactions now. You weren’t sure how to feel, so you sat in silence for a moment, until a knock interrupted your thoughts.

Without a lock to keep the pests out, the nurse woman quickly ended up inside your house, nagging you about your refusal to open the door as she looked at your ankle.

Everything happens for a reason, you suppose, since you came to the realisation that there was nothing binding you to this place any longer.

A few minutes pass, moments obscured by the depth at which you sank into your thoughts, and the nurse is helping you lull your trembling left leg into taking a step forward, when a harsh gust of icy wind envelops your skin. The door slams shut.

Ellie seems to be fond of making annoying entrances when it comes to you.

You inspect her movements curiously as she shakes the snow off her boots from over your shoulder, wondering why she’s back but not feeling even a sliver of disdain.

Eventually, she looks up to meet the pair of you’s eyes and clears her throat bringing her gloved hand to the nape of her neck to scratch.

“Hey,” she breathes out, to which you nod before carrying on with your miserable attempt at walking again, though you’re tentative to Ellie’s every movement from behind you.

The sound of that familiar creak tells you she’s sat down on your shitty mattress, and a small sniffle tells you… well, nothing.

You try to turn your focus back to the nurse woman whose eyes are trained on your leg, a smile gracing her lips when you make it back to the bed smoothly.

“There. You’re all set, kid, just keep it moving and you’ll be back to normal in no time. I’ll come check up on you in a day or two, alright? I’ll, uh… leave you two be, then.”

You hum half-heartedly, still slightly cotton-minded, watching her leave and the door close before you turn to look at Ellie looking back up at you.

“You’re back?”

With a mischievous smirk, she reveals a small jar from the side pocket of her threadbare backpack, stuffed with pure weed,

“Yeah. Thought you might want some of this.”

You take a seat beside Ellie, her eyes lingering on your every movement before you look up and meet her gaze.

“Where’d you even get that?”

“Hmm, I’ll show you next time we’re together on patrol. Here, take this.”

She hands you a blunt and you look over it cautiously, trying to mask your lack of experience and simultaneously ignore the blush of your cheeks induced by Ellie’s somehow sustained smirk.

She takes a lighter from her pocket and brings it to the tip as you hold it between your pursed lips, silently beckoning you to go ahead.

The warmth fills your chest; a pleasant wave of tingles overcomes you, like your insides turning to fuzz, and you let go, watching the smoke dance upwards and dissipate in the air separating you from Ellie.

You pass it to her, taking note of the way her lips wrap around the same place yours did moments before while your high already settles in.

Lightweight.

Maybe that’s why her eyes seem to pierce with excruciating intensity now. You look down instead and toy with the frayed end of your tattered jeans.

“You know what I realised?” she murmurs, taking another puff before continuing,

“You’ve been here for, what, half a year now?”

“Mhm.”

“That’s… actually kind of a long time. But you still act the same as you did when you first arrived.”

“Do I?”

Ellie breathes out and passes you the blunt, nodding. Your eyes don’t leave her lips.

“Yeah. Still… you know.”

“Yeah, well… I just don’t really get along with those people.”

“Those people?”

You look up and Ellie’s got a shit-eating grin plastered across her face as you jump to your own defence.

“Woooooooooo-”

“Wha- I- I didn’t mean it like that!”

“-ooooooooooo-”

Her voice is muffled by the contact of her face with the pillow you bombard her with.

“Ow! Fucking… Asshole.”

You chuckle, taking a long drag before muttering, your voice barely above a rasp,

“Bet you don’t like that, huh?”

The mattress shifts beside you as Ellie moves closer. You don’t look, but you can hear the playfulness in her words.

“Yeah, actually, I don’t.”

Silence overwhelms the room, the slow infiltration of hot smoke which now lays thick in the air rendering you too fuzzy to speak. Your fingers brush Ellie’s calloused ones as you pass her the blunt, dragging your dilated eyes to look into hers, still appearing somewhat sober.

“You dont mean that about me though, right?”

“Hm?”

“You know… The thing you said before. That you just don’t really get along with most of the people here. Cuz we get along pretty fucking well.”

Before you can hide it, you face breaks out into a grin,

“Why, would it really upset you if I meant you too?”

“Oh, fuck off.”

There’s a gentle buzzing in your chest that develops into wholehearted laughter before you realise it, contagious to Ellie, whose own lips give up trying to repress the smile playing on them now.

“I just mean… I know there’s not many people… as awesome and cool as me here, one could say, but-” she continues before you cut her off,

“-Butt-”

“-But, I don’t know, we’re kind of friends, right?”

“… One could say.”

“Right.”

“Right.”

Now, your heart’s racing and there’s a growing ache nestled between your legs, because the sight of Ellie’s own legs spread as she falls back to lean against the wall is not for the weak.

And you… You are weak.

“Unless you keep looking at me like that.” Her words rip through the warmth of the silence so you realise you had gone silent as you shamelessly stared.

“What?”

“You’re staring. Think you got a little something there too,” she leans in to wipe the imaginary drool at the corner of your lip but you sluggishly swat her hand away.

“Fuck off, I do not. And I am not.”

“Oh, yeah?”

Suddenly, the way her eyelids lay heavy over her forest green eyes, scleras tinged pink, becomes almost hypnotic, addictive.

“Yeah.”

So much so that you almost choke on your words.

“I think you are.”

Like you’re going to suffocate, unable to inhale steadily as she leans closer for the billionth time, clearly searching for the same relief you are, and her breath gently fans your lips.

“Think you’ve been staring for a while…

Think you want something real bad, huh?”

That pounding heartbeat, the shaking of your hands, this feeling is akin to fear. It’s almost terrifying how bad you want it, so you turn away and bring the blunt to your mouth again, forcing her to watch you breathe the hot air into her anticipating, flushed face. She closes her eyes, and then opens them, to see you looking right back with parted lips.

Finally, she places a gentle touch to your cheek, gracefully wrapping her other hand’s fingers around the weed in yours and flicking it into the nonexistent world surrounding you carelessly, closing the distance between the two of you once and for all.

There is a gentle sickness in the wetness with which your tongues dance against each other, and it is exhilarating in a way that makes you forget everything; in a way that makes the only thing echoing in your mind the intoxicating sound of lips smacking and Ellie’s deep groans into you, warm saliva coating the skin around your mouth.

For once, there is no reluctance in the intimacy you provide, and it has proven to be the most effective antidote to your problems yet.

Amid the rapacity, Ellie’s lips wonder further, engulfing the skin beyond, that which is your jaw, up to your flushed earlobes, and it’s so near, so tender, that it overwhelms your brain, heightening your high to unchartered altitudes. You can hear her every movement and every moan - feel it stronger than anything you’ve ever felt before, as her hands roam across the expanse of your body and settle on your tits before gently circling your nipples so that your hips buck into her shamelessly.

Ellie takes note of your sensitivity, half-lidded eyes looking into yours drunkenly as she makes her way to your chest, gliding her tongue around your raised nipple and gently pulling on the other. Your body is like a furnace, aching for her with ferocity. She knows; she burns just as bright.

Ellie’s hungry, desperate to taste you, to indulge in every drop of your flavour and savour it. So she’s sucking on your tit with such fervour, leaving a trail of spit as she wraps her lips around the other, that you find yourself pushed back against the pillows, yearning to just rip the fabric of the shirt that still rests at your collarbone right off of you.

Instead you lay still, letting the overcoming take you, and watch her with fascination, raking shaky fingers into her bound, auburn locks.

She moans into your skin at the touch and you can feel it in your pussy, the way it drips for her. Lucky for it, she makes her way down, one hand still groping desirously at your tit, the other ghosting over the waistband of your pants subconsciously. God, you need it, a thousand times over and then a million over again.

Ellie’s at your hipbone, infuriatingly close to where you need her, and you’re trembling with anticipation, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Fuck… take ‘em off…”

She smirks up at you dazedly, and you resist the urge to shove her head back into you,

“You want me?”

“Yes, fuck… Ellie, please.”

She hooks her fingers into your belt loops and pulls them down without further question, dragging your underwear down too, almost fast enough to not notice the wet spot in them.

Almost.

Her relishing the sight of the fat jiggling as her hand slaps your tit and you jerking forward juxtaposes the lazy kiss she presses to your swollen clit, hands moving to your thighs as she pulls you closer.

“You’re so fuckin’ hot.”

Gently sucking the bud into her plump lips pushes a breathy moan out of you in grateful relief and, as you grind against her tongue, she runs the tip of it teasingly up your weeping slit so that you’re reduced to a picturesque masterpiece of nothingness above her, with your head thrown back and your mouth hanging open, sweet whimpers trailing out, and your glistening chest displayed beautifully.

And the way you rut your cunt up against her, aching to feel her tongue deeper, aching to have her inside, makes her thrust against the pillow like a dog in heat for some semblance of relief, friction. You want to be the one to give it to her. Each husky groan pushes you further, the vibrations against your cunt sending you to heaven and back.

Ellie’s mouth is the fucking greatest, the swirl and suck a godsend to your clouded mind, with its focus streamlined to your pussy, so you moan deafeningly when two rough fingers slip into you and pump in and out of your viscous walls rapidly.

The sound of her slurping fills the room, and it is filthy, pornographic, but you’re moaning and twitching against her regardless, your pussy clenching tight for her, squeezing and pulling in her digits ravenously.

Soon, embarrassingly soon, your hips jerk, overwhelmed with delicious, warm ripples of pleasure throughout your body, and your eyes roll back as you tense and cum in her mouth for what seems like forever, but she holds you down, her lips and fingers never letting up.

Your sweaty figure is hunching over, stomach tensed and caving in, resisting the stimulation to your sensitive clit, with the hand laced through her hair now pushing her away despite the fact that you love it. Her eyes are closed and she’s wholly immersed in your essence and your whimpers, lapping at the slick pouring out of your pussy greedily with a gentle shake of her head between your quivering thighs.

A moan of your name and she’s up, humming in devious satisfaction, and giving your fucked out face a pussydrunk grin, your milky cum painting the lower half of her face so it glistens stunningly.

She shoves her fingers into your open mouth, muttering a quiet, “Fuck,” through laboured breaths as you suck on them, tasting yourself. Before she can go back in, pulling them away, you reach out to her desperately and smash her lips against yours again, pussy throbbing simply because she exists, as she lets out a small noise in shock but quickly moves in tune with you.

Between breaths, you help her take her clothes off, hugging her to your exposed chest, your heart pounding readily. There’s nothing you want more than to feel every inch of her on you completely, and the feeling of her hugging you back with just as much hunger makes you hot.

Slowly, you watch the string of slick connecting her pussy to her underwear dwindle as you pull them further down her legs, listening to the sound of her panting loud into your ear, and feeling her hair gently grazing your flushed cheeks.

Ellie pushes your left leg up and slots her cunt against yours so you can feel her hot skin moulding with yours, throwing her head back at the obscenity of the squelching noise it creates.

“Fuck, baby, it’s so wet, you’re so wet, all mine,”

“Ellie, oh my god.”

Slow movements turn into feverish humping, the sound of your wet cunts slapping each other reverberating and she leans over and places her forehead, wisps of hair stuck to it via droplets of sex sweat, against yours, breath fanning your lips. You strain to push yourself up for a second and peck her lips which she leans into quickly, like she’s been waiting for it.

You can feel your climax building up, intensified by the sight and all consuming sensation of her ramming into you, and the quiet whispers of,

“Fuck, love your pussy so much, gonna fuck you so good, mmmh, ‘s all mine, gonna fuck you senseless”

She keeps going, and you can feel everything so much clearer than you ever have before, each squelch and pull, panting into each other like you’re tempting each other to kiss each other again and she gives in, with the grip she has on your thigh concentrating.

It’s so graphic, so dirty and desperate, and you can’t help but give into the the feeling of the coil tightening in your stomach before snapping completely, your cum splattering over Ellie’s viscid thighs because she’s close and avid, eager to cum on you.

She can feel it building up as she grinds against you tenaciously, watching you writhe beneath her. Ellie moans gutturally , fingertips digging into your hips and the plush fat of your ass to hold you in place as she gets herself off,

“Fuckin’ take it, baby, know you can, gonna c-cum-”

“Yes, Ellie, oh my fucking-”

“-Fuck, gonna cum all over you, an’ you’re gonna fucking take it, yeah, mm-”

One last time and her hips are stuttering against yours before she collapses on you, chests rising and falling with heavy breaths into each other harmoniously.

The contact of your clammy skin against hers is comforting, and you lay there until the heat of sex settles and the potent scent of weed dissipates, and is replaced by the cold bite of the winter air that weasels its way into your room once more.

Until it starts to feel cold.

And then the fog clears and your mind spirals down from the passing high, opening the guilt’s floodgates. There is nothing you can do to calm the storm gathering in the confines of your rib cage; you clutch the sheets for stability.

Not even the gentle graze of her fingers up and down your arm can relax you, or the warmth of her sigh into the crook of your neck. Though you cannot understand it, there is panic and it is omnipotent.

Then Ellie’s movements halt abruptly and she jerks up from the bed,

“Fuck, oh my god, I completely forgot,” she jumps up, and you watch her get dressed in a flurry of fabrics, just as loud as the last time she got ready here.

You can’t focus; your chest feels tight and you’ve done something very, very bad but you don’t quite know what. Somehow, you manage to make out from what she tells you before rushing off and abandoning you in your resounding culpability, that there is a small get together at The Tipsy Bison tonight that she promised to help out with and that you are invited.

Lucky you!

She makes her way back to you on her way out, and you can tell she’s unsure how to approach you when you recall it, though in the moment your mind is swarming with wasps and you cannot form a coherent thought.

She pulls your shirt down over your tits and places a somewhat insecure kiss to your cheek, mumbling, “See you,” with a small smile, and then she’s on her way.

…

You sit up and stare at the floor in the silence, trying to swallow; the guilt, and the confusion. It’s painful to not understand, rummaging through the contents of your brain to make sense of that sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach, but for some reason you can’t find anything logical and, yet, you stop thinking you fucked up.

It hits you, and you throw your clenched fists over your eyes, rubbing furiously and desperately, the thought of you getting fucked like a dumbass while Soren lies dead miles away up north. You have no right.

It’s raw and visceral: your gasping for air and dry sobs, no tears coming up because you’ve been all cried out for a while. You just feel choked up, empty, and nauseous.

Still hyperventilating, you practically hurl yourself across the room to your bag, pathetically grabbing shit with shaky fingertips and shoving it in.

It’s time to go. Away from the people. Away from the noise. Away from the tumult. Away from any reminder of the joy you do not deserve.

an - this one’s long as fuck… i feel like i decay when i write smut, IVE BEEN AVOIDING STUDYING, DOING WORK, AND GETTING READY FOR A WEDDING BY WRITING THIS, creds to cafekitsune for dividers

[lot-of-nothing]

Entwined (Ch. 7)

Melissa Schemmenti x Reader

Weekend getaway :)

Warnings: Suggestive themes aaaaandd a little of that internalize homophobia again

Author's Note: NO BETA BC THIS TOOK ME FOREVER GOOD LORD IM SORRY FOLKS! I moved and started a new job and I leave for Europe in a week so life has been NUTS

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6

Melissa led the way through the front doors of the hotel. You could tell she was excited by the highly animated way in which she spoke to you. She used her hands and fingers to gesture to you and she lingered close to you with her last word, “This weekend is about three things: the endless buffet, laying by the pool, and sex.”

The corners of your lips rose as her lips neared your own. There were still a few inches between you, but you knew that was plenty close for a place as public as a hotel lobby, “In that order too?”

Your response made the redhead laugh as both of her hands squeezed your bicep. You lost yourself for a moment while you watched her grin at you. It was the voice of a man that unfortunately ripped her eyes from you, “Melissa?” 

As she turned to face the voice, her red hair flicked over her shoulder with the spin of her head. When her eyes landed on the familiar face of her ex boyfriend, her smile faded, but her tone remained polite, “Hey, Gare.”

A brief silence fell between the former lovers (as did a thick awkwardness), and you waited patiently for one of them to speak up. Gary was the first to break the silence when he noticed Melissa’s eyes wander over to the brunette at his side, “Oh, this is my girlfriend - Lea Ann”

Melissa only nodded, remaining silent and giving a faux smile to the lofty man. It was when he realized Melissa had very little interest engaging with Gary and Lea Ann that Gary decided to turn his attention to you. With a kind smile, he reached out his hand, offering it to you along with his name, “Gary.”

“Y/N.” You return the smile and handshake, surprised at the way his face lit up at hearing your name.

“Mel told me about you when we were dating.” He quipped while wrapping his arm around Lea Ann’s shoulders, hugging her to his side. He seemed genuinely delighted to make your acquaintance - it made you wonder why Melissa refused to commit to something more serious with him.

You folded your arms over your chest, glancing down at Melissa and then back to Gary again, “Did she now?”

Gary was highly enthusiastic with how he spoke to you, recalling memories Melissa had shared with him months ago, “Of course. You were her date to the senior prom after some punk ditched her.”

You couldn’t hide your pleasure in knowing Melissa had talked about you in her previous relationship. You had always assumed she would have kept even your friendship a secret. With a great big smile, you bump your shoulder against hers lightly, “I mean, how could I say no to a face like that?”

Melissa gave a reluctant smile, changing the subject away from your relationship, “What are you guys doin’ out here?”

Gary eagerly squeezed Lea Ann to his side once more and beamed at her. The brunette shifted into his side, wrapping an arm behind his back to better lean against him. It was clear they were enamored with one another, “Early anniversary trip. Lea Ann and I met at Dave & Busters not too long after we broke up. She is real good at skeeball.” 

Lea Ann added to the conversation with a shy voice, “How about you guys?”

“A trip for old times’ sake.” Melissa’s response contained a tone that was anything other than warm. While some might not have noticed, you saw her turn snarky and her nose wrinkled ever so slightly. It was obvious to you Melissa was offended by what she thought was Lea Ann’s ‘nosiness’. The redhead folded her arms over her chest, indicating she was finished with the conversation.

Gary knew Mel well enough to give a curt nod and guide Lea Ann away from you both, “Well, I hope you two have a great time.’

“Yeah, you too.” Your voice fell as they walked away - knowing full well Melissa would be upset at this interaction when you arrived at the hotel room.

—

You shifted awkwardly near the door of the hotel room. Melissa had abandoned her luggage in the middle of the room and tossed her purse on the bed before dropping into the chair into the corner to scroll on her phone. She seemed increasingly detached from you since you had spoken to Gary. 

While the detachment made you furious, you gave her a chance to tell you how she was feeling before you spiraled, “Everything okay?”

She didn’t even look up from her phone when she replied. If anything, she seemed annoyed that you would even ask such a question, “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Biting your tongue, you turn your back to her with a huff and tug open the door, “I’m gonna go downstairs.”

—

You twist the glass of dark liquor in your hand, mindlessly watching the ice swirl about in the liquid. A fire had been lit in your stomach at the realization that nothing had changed between Melissa and you. She still refused to admit her feelings for you or the opposite sex. Of course you were infuriated, but it was more of a rage fueled sadness had you refusing to look at Melissa who sat (im)patiently next to you. 

“You gotta work with me here. It’s one thing to take a weekend away together, but it’s a whole other thing to be tellin’ people that we are a couple.” Melissa sounded colder than she would have wanted, but there was no taking the words back now. You felt yourself growing angrier by the second.

It was clear Melissa didn’t truly understand why you were upset with the entire situation. With a deep sigh, you chose to explain your feelings to her, “I don’t mind that we aren’t official or whatever. I don’t even care that this is so casual. I just can’t be your dirty little secret anymore.”

“It isn’t like that.” 

Her reply was quick, but you weren’t convinced. “Melissa… Anytime someone gets remotely close to the truth, you get all spooked and then I have to deal with the consequences.”

The redhead chewed at the inside of her cheek, unsure of what to say to you. She remained facing forward, her fingers absentmindedly ripping at the napkin placed in front of her by the bartender. Mel furrowed her brow as she spoke, “I’m not spooked. I just don’t want people all up in my business.”

You weren’t convinced.

“Either way... You know how I feel about you... how I have always felt about you, and I-” In an instant, you regret opening your mouth. You could see a faint blush spreading across her cheeks from the corner of your eye. As always, you had gotten ahead of yourself, and now it was time for you to finish explaining your emotions before Melissa found a way to steer the conversation away from the vulnerability it was currently steeped in, “For me, it feels like you’re ashamed... of me, and it’s not a great feeling.”

Melissa glared at you for a few moments, and then you saw her left hand reach out to hold you by the back of the neck to pull your lips to hers. Your heart began pounding in your chest as you felt Mel’s teeth teasing your bottom lip and her right hand creep up to the middle of your thigh.

When she pulled her lips away from yours, her voice was low, “I’m sorry I made ya’ feel that way. I could never be ashamed of you.”

Regardless of the people sitting all around, you dove back in for another kiss. You felt her melting into you. With every second you kissed her, Melissa inched closer to the point in which she had slipped off her chair to stand between your knees. Her hands braced against your thighs and breasts pressed to your chest. 

The redhead was breathing heavily when she finally drew her lips away from yours. She had turned her head to glance around the room in search of prying eyes when you buried your nose in her hair. 

After Melissa’s worries of being watched were soothed by the absence of onlookers, she turned back to you, capturing your face in her hands. She spoke in a low tone which caused you to swallow hard, “Let’s go upstairs, hon.” She took your hand, tugging you along after her towards the hotel lobby. 

The deafening chorus of casino games, live music, and both winning and losing gamblers was all but a mere whisper to you the moment Melissa peered over her shoulder at you with a smile - a smile that only confirmed your long standing love for her.  

When she had you in the elevator, you were up against the wall before the door was closed with her mouth against yours. Mel was busy trailing her lipstick from your lips to your neck as you choked out a dizzied concern, “We are... going to miss our... uh, dinner reservations.”

“Where at?” Melissa was far too busy tasting your collarbone to give much attention to the thought of going out for dinner. She was far more interested in getting you up to your hotel room to get more acquainted with the hotel bed.

“Some fancy steakhouse.” You murmur before returning her fervor. By now the elevator doors were shut and neither of you had given much more thought to pressing a button to get the elevator moving. Instead you were more consumed with the urge to turn the tables on Melissa and press her against the elevator wall. 

Melissa’s hands were woven tightly into your hair as you pinned her to the wall. Your force only propelled her further into the raging desire she felt for you. Mel didn’t need to use any words to convey how much she needed you. Everything about your kisses was sloppy and steeped in desire. 

She allowed one of her hands to wander to the back of your neck as your lips drifted down her neck to her cleavage. The redhead held you tight with one arm while the other clumsily reached to illuminate the button to floor 15, “We can just order pizza.”

Her efforts to get the elevator headed towards your floor weren’t swift enough. The elevator dinged and the doors to the lobby parted, allowing a familiar tall, bald headed man and his brunette girlfriend onto the elevator with you both. 

With the introduction of Gary and Lea-Ann onto the elevator, Mel and you partially parted. She kept an arm around you with a hand resting on your hip and her body was pressed to yours as she suppressed a coy smile. Melissa raised a manicured hand to her lips, attempting to tidy her smeared lipstick with her thumb. All the while she stared at you down like a starved lion. 

Your heart was pounding and you couldn’t take your eyes off her. It took everything in you not to confess your love then and there. She was beautiful like this - seemingly liberated of her shame and enthralled with the premise of being caught in such a public act of affection. 

Gary was obviously confused by your closeness and he cocked his head, needing to double check to see if it was really Melissa who was really pinned into the corner of the elevator by you, “Melissa?”

“Oh, hey.” She cleared her throat and acknowledged him with a wave of her hand. You attempted to move your hands from her waist, but her hand caught your wrist to prevent you from pulling away. 

The elevator devolved into silence as it began moving to the upper floors. You couldn’t see the looks on Gary or Lea-Ann’s faces as you were too busy watching every shift in Melissa’s expressions. You wondered if this would be the end of your relationship. Your heart was pounding and you were growing anxious at the thought of the potential rejection headed your way. The only thing that kept you from completely losing it was Melissa’s manicured hand on the back of your neck, softly twirling your loose locks between her digits. 

Her eyes flickered between the rising elevator numbers, your company, and the elevator doors. Melissa was terrified of who Gary could tell. Through all of her family and friends, she knew this moment could reach someone she knew in a matter of hours. Her personal fears were being slowly subdued by her own willpower. As her eyes drifted back up to your face, they were now filled with a subtle determination to prove herself to you. 

Melissa pushed against your abdomen so you would step aside, but she kept both hands on you as she talked to Gary, “How’s your night goin’?”

“Good. I- I didn’t know you two were-” Gary couldn’t hide an ounce of his confusion at seeing you together. 

“Together? Yeah, well... Now you know.” The redhead finished his sentence before adding her own bit of attitude at the end of her thought. A lump formed in the back of her throat at admitting your relationship out loud, but there was no taking it back now. 

While Melissa was dealing with her own inner turmoil, you were relishing in the fact that Melissa described you two as being ‘together’. You were riding that high even after the elevator stopped on your floor and Mel took your hand to pull you after her. 

It was Melissa who lifted your arm to place around her shoulders when you stepped off the elevator. She also turned back to face her ex boyfriend with a cheeky grin, “Have a good night you two.”

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta, @unicorniusfallapatorius, @sapphicxrat, @earpivore, @jeridandridge @petty-femme27, @darkcolorphantom, @a-queen-and-her-throne, @cosmichymns

[finnbbl]

Hyunjin X M! Reader - Dancer AU | SMAU | Chapter 4

Ch. 4 - Meeting Stray Kids | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter |

| Story Masterlist |

Written: Yes

Smau: Yes

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: I decided to go with Hyunjin for this story. Something about his personality draws me in and motivates me to write. I hope you guys will stick with me throughout it 🥹 (Feeling really inspired, so maybe a triple update today)

Warnings: Not much I don’t think, swearing maybe?

A couple weeks later..

Reading over that paper that previous week, you noticed it had said you would be leaving with Stray Kids within a few weeks. You weren’t sure if your eyes were working correctly. So you re-read it for what felt like a thousand times before you finally came to the conclusion that, yes, you would be leaving with them in only three weeks. Those few weeks were spent with nonstop rehearsal, which you didn’t mind. Dance was such a relaxing hobby for you. However, those few weeks left no time to actually practice with the idols yet. It was assumed you’d be doing that the few days before the first concert.

It wasn’t long before the 3 weeks was up. On the paper was also a list of stuff you should expect to bring with you. God did it seem like a lot, but you managed to fit everything into two suitcases. So there you were, luggage in hand at your front door as you waited for your friends who had agreed to take you. At 4 in the morning. They wanted to bid their final goodbyes before you took off for god knows how long. Soon enough, their car pulled up, one of the doors swinging open almost immediately. Next thing you knew, you were on the ground. “Y/NNN I CANT BELIEVE YOURE LEAVING!!!”

“Ohmygod Lia!” Laughs from the other four girls came from the car as they all watched from inside. “Now you know how I felt!” You scoffed and rolled your eyes. “Yeah yeah,” Lia eventually got up off of you and held a hand out for you, which you gladly accepted. Not sure if you could see or think straight as your head had just collided with the wall pretty hard moments earlier.

“Guys we better get going if y/n is gonna get to the airport on time!” You and Lia heard Ryujin shout from the driver side window. With that, you two were in the car. “Sooo how do you feel y/n, going on tour with such a big group?” You shrug. “What do you think the answer to that is?” Your head cocked to the side as your eyelids fell, deadpanning at Yuna. “Nervous, as always.” A scoff could be heard from you, although she wasn’t wrong. “I swear, if I had a dollar for everytime y/n got nervous over something, i’d be rich.” Yeji stated as she turned her head around to face you guys in the back seat from the passenger side.

Your eyebrows furrowed. “You already are rich Yeji.” She rolled her eyes at you playfully before turning back around. “Well thanks to Lia I can’t even focus on being nervous now that my head is pounding.” You neared her face with yours briefly. “Not my fault, you started it.” Lia retorted, followed by a pout. Her bottom lip stuck out with her crossed arms, now avoiding eye contact with you.

“Oh just a heads up y/n, i believe you’re flying on the same plane as them.” Chaeryeong told you, this took you a back. “What? But i’ve never done that before, backup dancers have always gone on separate planes as the artists.”

“Yeah well, that’s our company for you.” Chae saw the way your head fell back at this information. “I better not embarrass myself.” Muttering, now with your head in your hands. It didn’t take much for you to get so anxious. You had your anxiety to thank for that. Always worried about messing something up, or embarrassing yourself. “And that’s why I told you now.”

A hand was placed on your shoulder from her, “Don’t worry, they’re really nice. Like we said. Just relax and take a deep breath.” Following her instructions, a few moments later you were able to push it aside. Not only that, but now you were at the airport. Spotting everyone at the designated spot to meet, you could already see the eight boys of the group. “Well, we’re here. Come on get out we want a hug before you go.” Smiling to them, you six stepped out of the car as they enveloped you into a giant group hug. “Tell us all about it. We wanna hear everything.” Ryu told you, as everyone else nodded in agreement.

The eight guys noticed that the members of their fellow group was onto feet away from them outside of their car. “Hey look, it’s ITZY. I wonder what they’re doing here?” Felix grabbed his friends’ attention. “Come on we should go, I wanna say hi to Yeji.” Hyunjin told Felix, who only agreed. Quickly, they were stopped by their leader. “We’re not supposed to leave without a body guard guys.” Bangchan had said as he put a hand on each of their shoulder. The other five, weren’t paying as much attention to anything going on. After all, everyone was tired as it was so early in the morning. Once the five girls had stepped back from what appeared to them as a group huddle, they noticed you standing in the middle of them. Hugging each one of them goodbye. “Wait who’s that?” Hyunjin questioned mainly to himself, but ended up grabbing a couple of the others attention. “Woah that’s y/n l/n. He’s such a sick dancer dude.” Suddenly butting into the conversation, was Minho. He could appreciate a fellow good dancer. After squinting, the other three could realize that it was in fact you.

“Ohh you’re right. Hard to see out here with how dark it is.” Lee Know could only tell by your signature cap you always wore. In fact, the whole group was familiar with you. You were always trending on social media, and you had danced with many great artists. A very well known dancer, but they wouldn’t have guessed you’d be traveling with them.

Just then, all five of the girls began smiling and pointing in their direction. Causing you to look over at them, you waved nervously as Lia started to drag you over to them. “Oh god Lia. Please do not embarrass me.” You haulted her to a brief stop. “Relax oh my god i’m not gonna do anything. Besides, embarrassing you would mean embarrassing me.” Her statement confused you, but maybe that was her plan as you were being dragged over again. Wasn’t long before you were standing in front of Stray Kids, a few other of the backup dancers stood to the side. “Hi guys, this is y/n.” Lia started to introduce you as you yanked your arm out of her grasp. “Lia, I don’t think they nor I came here for an introduction.” You let out an heavy breath and rolled your eyes. This earned a smile from a few of the members, at least the ones who had noticed the six of you. “Well anyways we should get going and so should you guys. We just came here to drop him off.” Chaeryeong stated before they started slowly making their way to the car. “It was nice to see you guys again, bye!!” All the girls called out their goodbyes to both you and the boys.

Moments of silence passed as you all waited for the rest to show up. Then it wasn’t long before you all headed to check in. “So, y/n…” You had heard someone next to you say your name. Hesitantly turning your head towards them, you realized it was Bangchan. After first finding out who you’d be touring with, you decided to do a bit of research on them. Learn their names and such. “Oh, me?” It was hard to believe someone like him would be talking to you. He nodded and chuckled at your response. “So how do you know ITZY? Never seen you dance with them before so i was just curious.” His head tilted to the side, eyebrows furrowed. “Oh well uh, I went to high school with Lia.” A small smile fell on your face as you responded quietly. “Ahh gotcha. Well, we’re excited to work with you.” His elbow nudged you lightly, all you could do was smile like a dork. If it wasn’t thanks to your mask, you’d be an embarrassed mess. It was hard for you to take compliments, especially in person. A few more words was exchanged with their leader before you all made it to security.

The next few steps were done efficiently and quietly. Next thing you knew, you were on the plane. Examining the interior was like nothing you had seen before. You never expected the plane to be so fancy. Only having toured with a few other artists, who weren’t under very large companies. Considering how popular this group and company was, it made sense. You had learned from the girls how touring with artists worked, seats would be random but you’d only hoped you wouldn’t be seated next to one of the members. Not that they weren’t nice or anything, but you couldn’t handle sitting that close to someone so famous. They lived an entirely different life, one you’d never experience or understand.

But as your luck would have it, the tallest member of the group took the middle seat right next to you. Trying to avoid any unnecessary eye contact or interaction, mostly for your nerves’ sake, you found yourself staring outside the window. And it worked, for five minutes at least. “Heyyy y/n, it’s nice to meet you.” The member known as Hyunjin, had positioned himself to face you. With no other choice, you decided to turn his direction and face him. “Hey, it’s uh.. nice to meet you too.” Hyunjin tilted his head to the side, a gentle look resting on his eyes. Something about them relaxed you, and for some reason you weren’t anxious. Pulling off your mask, as it was starting to get pretty hot, you shot him a warm smile. Silence enveloped you two. As he was about to say something else, the pilot interrupted with the usual script they followed.

Taglist: @silverstarburst @virluna148

[hrts4hanniehae]

clutch || eight

there are written parts :)

note that the timeline or educations may not add up but just ignore it because i don't have the brain power to sync up THIRTEEN + 1 's education schedules

sorry for the late chpt. I was really sick so i tried my best on this chpt. next chpt will be longer, i promise.

warnings: some level of chae-young attempting infidelity, swearing

wonwoo came home to find yn passed out on the couch.

"you okay?" - wonwoo

"i need sleep. i've been stuck at school finishing my final project and i just finished. now i have to worry about the stupid reunion in two days. i have no dress and i look like a zombie. life is great." - yn

"go take a shower. i'll get the guys to help you. jeonghan has connections." - wonwoo

the word shock wasn't enough to describe the look on everyone's faces when yn and wonwoo walked in through the door.

some background information: in the one week before this gathering, yn had completed her pieces for the museum, her final project for university and all her outstanding commissions. her exhibit had been very successful and she had earned quite a significant amount of money.

"yn. is that your boyfriend?" - aunt

"yes. this is jeon wonwoo, my boyfriend." - yn

"nice to meet you, my name is jeon wonwoo." - wonwoo

"yn-noona... isn't that the streamer gameboi? you're dating Korea's number 1 [game name] player?" - younger cousin

"no way..."

the whispers in the event room got louder and louder until the people she hated finally came towards her. it was evident that chae-young was gawking at wonwoo. she didn't even bother to hide her lovestruck expression from her husband.

"so this is the new guy you have, huh yn." - mother

"good morning, i'm jeon wonwoo." - wonwoo

it seemed like he had to repeat himself often today.

"what's your net worth?" a disrespectful question right off the bat was expected and both yn and wonwoo had prepared for it.

without missing a beat, wonwoo simply smiled and said, "14 million. I am sure that I have enough to take care of yn for the rest of our lives."

the jealousy that clouded chae-young's face was the best thing that yn had ever seen.

sitting at the table was very awkward because they were surrounded by whispers and glances.

“so wonwoo. what do you work as?” chae-young’s husband was actually a very nice man. he was always kind to yn and her brother and was the complete opposite of his distasteful wife.

“i’m a gamer. i’m currently in talks of joining [fictional korea no.1 pro gamer team]. that deal closes before june,” - wonwoo

“ah i see. what about you, yn? what are you working as now?” this question was on everyone’s mind. some with ulterior motives.

“up until thursday, i was a museum part-timer and finishing university. but i recently managed to sell many of my art pieces and have made quite a name for myself in the past three days. in case you all didn’t know, almost every artwork in this building was made by me over the last 4 years.” - yn

the room was silent. you could hear a pin drop and wonwoo couldn’t help but smile to himself.

let’s walk through the real train of events.

after the “fake-dating” agreement, wonwoo, minghao, mingyu and dokyeom had helped yn move every piece of her artworks over the years to minghao’s studio to sort through them. it took them almost 30 hours to categorise. by monday, they had organised the auction within the museum, an exhibition for her other works and an online bidding website for exclusive works. from tuesday to thursday, the auctions and exhibitions opened.

every one of yn’s artworks sold for incredibly high prices. this particular hotel that the family reunion was, had purchased a significant amount of said artworks.

“you mean you painted that painting of a phoenix?” - uncle

“i did that 2 years ago.” - yn

“and that ceramic heart? that was you?” - aunt

“yes.” - yn

wonwoo could not help but smile at yn’s nonchalent bragging. just then, a hand reached across to tap his.

“so~ wonwoo-oppa~ how did you and yn meet?" chae-young began to blatantly flirt with wonwoo while her HUSBAND sat helplessly beside her.

“i commissioned an art piece from her and fell in love at first sight.” wonwoo forcefully took back his hand before leaning closer to yn, earning a scowl from chae-young.

yn was’t exaggerating when she described all of chae-young’s antics.

here’s a list of the things she tried but failed to do. seduce wonwoo, yn’s “boyfriend”, spill water on yn, pretend that yn stepped on her foot on purpose, claim yn slapped her.

how embarrassing.

��^•ﻌ•^ฅ

synopsis: wonwoo is a popular streamer known for his incredible gaming skills and good looks. He turned heads. but he hates the attention. he just wants to play games and earn money. one day he receives a letter. his apartment’s rent has almost doubled. no warnings at all. his current paycheck from streaming can’t shoulder those bills. he has no choice but to rent out his spare room. to who? a fresh art university graduate who has… 1. a stable job ✅ 2. talent for art and sculpting ✅ 3. many friends ❌ 4. social anxiety ✅ 5. no filter ✅ when his iconic cat logo gets copystriked, she comes to the rescue with a new logo for him. when his apartment’s walls start peeling, she fixes it. whatever he used to struggle with… the empty space... was now filled by her. so what does he *last player standing* do when her ex *enemy spotted* tries to take her back? heh. *clutch* he clutches.

inspired by wonwoo's gam3bo1 streams, falling into your smile & gogo squid (has hints of valorant)

pairing: streamer!jeon wonwoo x fem!artist!reader (ft. jeongcheol, soonhoon, junhao, seoksoo, verkwan)

genre: fluff, comfort, slowburn, comfort, pining, bestfriend!minghao

warnings: stalker ex, toxic ex, mentions of abuse, guns (game), cursing, hate comments, panic attacks

started: 28.12.23

ended: ?

taglist: join from my masterlist

main masterlist

smau socials

previous I next

tags! @fairyofhour @megseungmin @sun-daddy-yoriichi @woozixo @euphoric-univers @christinewithluv @haowonbins @ocyeanicc @asyre @cynthiaaax13 @superhoshisvt @bangantokchy @chimmy-bts @angelarin @daisawa @writingbarnes @jeonghansshitester

@belladaises @wonwootakemyheart @wonwooz1 @luchiet @kookssecret @caratsland @peachescreamandcrumble @thepoopdokyeomtouched @isabellah29 @leah-rose03 @yandere-stories @coupshour @heesbees @hamji-hae @hyuckxtagram

[daydreamgoddess14]

Support System pt. 6

MASTERLIST

CH1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4 | CH 5

Roy Kent x Reader

Are you ready? Cos we get really very spicy now my friends so.... be warned. Also, good god I think I'm in love with Roy Kent.

Chapter 6

She pushes the phone into your hand so you have no choice but to bring it to your ear, you still watch Roy who's moved to the otherside of the room. Your heart is still pounding and you feel like you've been given an electric shock. 

"Yeah?" You ask into the phone. 

"Can we talk?"

"Umm, we've just got back from the beach. I'll get Lexie settled and call you back?" You hang up without waiting for any real response.

"I'd better go." He says. 

"Thanks for a cool day Roy! Thanks for winning my unicorn teddy and the ice creams and for letting me go on your shoulders and… and… everything!" Lexie says jumping from foot to foot. 

"Thank you for the best day Lex. We should go again in the summer."

"Yeaaaaaah! Can we mum?"

"Of course we can bunny. Let's get you ready for bed, huh?" She zooms into the living room to gather up the new toys for her room while you see Roy to the door. "I'll see you soon?" You sound unsure, you've no idea where his head is at after the kiss. No idea where your own head is, really. You still feel a little dizzy from it and the coil in your belly is wound even tighter. 

"Yeah, see you soon." His eye catches the sunburn on your shoulders, now joined by beard burn and a little bite mark. He brushes it lightly with his finger and you can't help but lean into him. "Should have put some more cream on." He says quietly before closing the door behind him. You're left in the hallway in a weird limbo of being disappointed that he left and unbelievably turned on. It wasn’t fair, you should be on cloud 9. Instead, you head upstairs and concentrate on real life. You get Lexie into the bath and bed before doing the same yourself. You reluctantly pick up your phone to call Andy back, seeing that Sara has sent some pictures from the day with plenty of sunshine, ice cream and beer emojis on a group message to both you and Roy. There’s the kids playing in the sand, you and the girls looking at the shells you’d collected, one of you pointing and laughing at something out of focus - head thrown back, sunkissed and happy. In the picture, Roy is next to you but he’s not looking at whatever it is that’s got your attention, he’s looking at you. There are others - really great photos, a selfie of the three of you and then one of the five of you. They make your heart flutter. You respond with a heart emoji, not quite able to put into words just how much they all mean to you - and that’s without confronting your growing feelings for Roy. The photos were exactly what you needed for your next task. You press Andy’s contact picture and let it ring.

“Thanks for calling back.” You’re surprised, it’s the most civilised he's been for months. 

“Sorry it took a while. We both needed to get half a beach off us.”

“Did you have a good day? Did you go alone?”

“We went with one of Lexie’s friends from school. It was a lovely day.”

“She said you’re changing jobs.” 

“Yeah, handed my notice in last week. I’ve got about 6 weeks left.”

“You… don’t need to do that you know. Maybe we could work something out?”

“What do you mean?”

“I miss you.”

“Are you pissed?”

“No! Why?”

“You’ve been an absolute fucking nightmare for months - you’ve punished me and belittled me and shamed me for having a better job than you and what? Now I’m giving it up, you think we can get back together? Are you for real right now?” You’re trying to keep your voice down but you don’t think you’ve felt a rage like this in your life. Not even when you were both fighting constantly. 

“I just thought it would be good for Lexie, mum and dad together, making it work?” He mumbled.

“What’s good for Lexie is a happy family life - even if that’s separately. Making it work? Making both of us miserable more like.”

“I wasn’t miserable with you.”

“You had an odd way of showing it Andy. You’ve barely laid a finger on me for years, you criticise everything I do. I’m sorry, I can’t make Lexie happy by destroying myself in the process. I deserve to be really, really loved and you can’t do that. What’s this really about?” You’ve stripped away his arguments, Lexie being his trump card, he has no comeback.

“Lexie keeps talking about your new friends. I just thought… is there anything I can do to change-”

“No Andy, you’ll never change my mind on this. I wish I’d been brave enough to leave you rather than wait for you to leave me to be honest. We won’t talk about this again. Goodnight.” Absolute wanker! You hang up and grab a pillow to scream into. Jealousy, of course. You’d seen it briefly when you’d gone to his flat to pick Lexie up when she’d been poorly but because you’d seen him so rarely recently it hadn’t really registered. You could laugh, it’s only taken him the best part of 8 years for him to actually feel anything for you. 

The next couple of days are a blur of Easter holiday club for Lexie and work for you. There’s still no luck on the job front which makes you nervous, and Andy’s done you the decency of not calling you again. You’d naively hoped that he’d woken the next morning with a hangover and had been appalled at his own behaviour, but you also didn’t really care. Sara had taken to using the group message she’d sent the photos on for childcare planning - it made sense but it also meant that you didn’t have any other excuse for solely messaging Roy. When you finally unpacked the bags of junk from the beach day, you found his book rather than yours in the bag. You were picking the girls up that afternoon and taking Phoebe straight to her nans where Sara would pick her up. They came out of school with paint up their arms and in their hair from the craft activities laid on for them. You were looking forward to seeing Roy’s mum again and she welcomed you as she had before, with a huge hug. She was over the moon to finally meet Lexie who took to her immediately. When Sara arrived back from work a little while later, the girls helped her shake off her tiredness with a dance party (Taylor Swift of course) so the five of you - including Roy’s mum - were dancing around with music blasting, singing at the top of your lungs.

“Standing by and waiting at your back door, all this time, how could you not know, baby? You belong with me, you belong with me!” Until Phoebe screeched,

“Uncle Royyyy! I haven’t seen you for ages!”

“You saw me like two days ago you little weirdo.” He said surveying the chaos ahead of him. “Having fun?”

“It’s a dance party! Sara was sleepy so we needed to wake her up.” Lexie told him.

“Sara’s still sleepy but thanks for trying, guys.” She laughs.

“Come on Lexie-loo. Time for us to go.”

“But muuum!”

“No buts, we need to get you ready for dad’s tomorrow.” The two girls looked sombre that they’d be separated for a few days, but Sara grins at you over their heads,

“Freedom!” You get bags and shoes and say goodbye to Roy’s mum. You stop suddenly in the hall, not realising Roy was right behind you and making him bump into you. He puts a hand to your waist so he doesn’t push you over but it brings you flush to his chest. With his hand on your stomach, you know he had to feel the shuddering breath that leaves your body. You reach into your bag and turn to him, “nearly forgot, I ended up with your book.” 

“Keep it, I’d finished it. Did you finish yours?”

“Yeah, keep it. I promised it to you.” He watches you with dark eyes. You know nothing is going to happen, of course it’s not - there’s a house full of people, Lexie is behind you by the front door putting her trainers on. He nods once and puts a single kiss to your forehead.

“See you soon.”

“Bye,” you look over his shoulder intending to shout goodbye to Sara and her mum but Sara’s in the doorway, eyebrows raised and wide eyed.

“Bye babe, I’ll text you later.” She says casually with a look which is far from casual.

You have the following day off for a couple of interviews so you’ve arranged to pick Lexie up from holiday club and take her round to Andy’s yourself. You don’t really want to have to see him, but the plans were made before his pleas to try again. 

“Here’s your bag, bunny, your coat is inside. Be good, I’ll see you in a few days, ok?” You give her a big hug and kiss and she goes straight into the flat. Andy hovers by the door.

“You look good.”

“Thanks, I’ve had a couple of interviews.”

“Any good?”

“Not sure yet, we’ll see.”

“Ok well… good luck.” You nod, ready to escape but you can see he’s itching to say something else. “I just wanted to say sorry about the other night.”

“It’s ok, forgotten already.”

“Oh, cos I just wanted to check that you’re sure?” You shake your head with a little laugh,

“Yes, Andy. I’m sure. Please, don’t ask again. It’s not going to happen.”

“Right, right. Ok. Have a good week then.”

“Yeah, you too.” You leave his flat feeling lighter. You go back to your car leaving him behind, the clocks have changed so the evenings are light. Your drive takes you past the football club and down Roy’s street. His gate is open and the car is just inside. You turn in before you have a chance to chicken out. You ring the bell and wait. The double take as he answers the door means he didn’t see it was you on the doorbell camera,

“It’s you.” He states,

“Yeah, I was just passing. Is this a bad time, I can go?” You make to leave but he’s quick to stop you.

“No, no, of course it’s fine, come in. I was just cooking. Jesus, you look fucking gorgeous.” You leave your bag by the door and step out of your heels.

“Thank you. I’ve been interviewing today.”

“How did it go, what were the roles?”

“Still Deputy Comms Director. I’m not sure, it’s so hard to say. It’s been ages since I interviewed anywhere.”

“Did they give you any feedback?” Already your conversation with Roy is a complete contrast to Andy’s indifference. You have his undivided attention, he’s curious and interested.

“Not really. I think it’s just a waiting game. It’s so annoying, I only have about 5 weeks left. I’m worried that I was wrong to just resign with nothing to go to next.”

“Bold, not necessarily wrong.” He offers, pouring you a glass of wine.

“I think you’re being too kind there.” You laugh,

“Bollocks. If forced retirement has taught me anything, it’s that you have to accept what’s right for you. Sometimes that means it feels like you’re doing the wrong thing until it becomes the right thing.” You mull on his words while he cooks. The speaker is on quietly in the background while you drink your wine. It feels comfortable.

“Do you regret retiring?”

“Fuck no. My knee thanks me every day for it. I didn’t dare let myself think I’d actually enjoy coaching - I tried to make out like I’d hate it.”

“It felt like the wrong thing to do until it didn’t?”

“Exactly. You’ve got to trust yourself.” He puts a plate of pasta in front of you.

“Oh, thank you.”

“Don’t turn up at my house at dinner time and not expect to get fed.” He takes the seat next to you. 

“Tell me about the club. I’ve heard the rumours that Coach Lasso is leaving?”

“Doesn’t know what he fucking wants. He’s in love with the boss.”

“Really?! Does she know?”

“Nah, they’re both being idiots about it. Neither of them will say anything so he thinks the answer is to leave.”

“And it’s not?”

“No, he should tell her. Shouldn’t he?”

“Course he should. What happens if he leaves?”

“Not a clue. Guess I’ll find out if he ever makes a decision.”

“Not long to decide though. Maybe you should give him your ‘being bold’ pep talk.” You continue your meal together and help clean up afterwards. You didn’t have a reason for visiting in the first place, so you certainly didn’t have one to stick around, but he poured another glass of wine anyway. He seemed to be holding back from you a little, engaging in conversation about work and families but he didn’t once acknowledge the evening you’d returned from Brighton. You cleared your throat, “I had to see Andy today when I dropped Lexie off.”

“Oh yeah?” His frown deepened and unlike with Andy, you saw it immediately - jealousy. 

“Hmm. He, uhh, reckons we should try again.”

“Oh.” He picks at the label on his beer bottle. “Bet Lexie’s happy?”

“She doesn’t know.”

“How come?”

“Well I didn’t think it was a wise idea to tell my 8 year old that I told her dad to fuck off… so, there’s that.” He looked up sharply,

“You told him to fuck off?”

“Not in so many words. But I made it very clear that he should never ask me again.”

“Good. It’s probably not good for you - or Lexie - to keep dragging shit like that out and-”

“Roy?”

“Yeah?” You leaned up from your stool at the kitchen island and kissed him lightly. When you moved away, you watched him carefully, 

“If I’ve got this wrong again, I-” He stepped up to your knees, your tight skirt preventing him from getting much closer, and pulled you to him, kissing you so softly. It was entirely different to the first time he’d kissed you and yet felt just as desperate and wanting. He pulls your blouse out from the waistband of your skirt and leans back just enough to ask the silent question, are you sure? You’re not drunk, there are no kids to interrupt, no phones ringing… you know you’re sure, but you have to know that he is too. He anticipates what you’re about to ask,

“Course I’m fucking sure. You’re not wrong. You weren’t wrong last time. You were drunk, I didn’t want you to think I was taking advantage of you.”

“And now?”

“I’d really like to take advantage of you, that ok?” He says with a chuckle.

“Yes, definitely yes.” You laugh, relieved. He kisses you again and though you know you have all the time in the world, you don’t want to waste a single second. 

“Fucking gorgeous.” He whispers against your neck, “borderline obscene, actually.” You laugh at his stolen compliment. His deft fingers pull your top up and off and you’re thankful you wore one of your really, really good bras for good luck for your interviews. You both decide at the same time that the other is just not close enough, your damn skirt in the way. He takes your hand to help you down from the stool and circles your waist, “this looks amazing, but it’s in the way.” You guide his hand to the zip at the side while you step up onto your tiptoes to pull his training t-shirt off. The skirt pools at your feet and his hands cover you, trying to explore everything all at once. “Up.” He taps your hip,

“Are you sure?”

“Fuck off.” He laughs, lifting you anyway. He doesn’t take you far, only to the sofa where he drops down with you still in his lap. You sit up on your knees so you can take your weight off his bad knee but he grips your hips, puts you back down and sides you further into his lap. You can feel him hard against you and it’s never been like this before, you’ve never been with someone who has made their need for you so obvious, never made you feel so wanted before. This thought alone helps banish your insecurities to the very back of your mind. He kisses a hot, wet path down your neck to the tops of your breasts, your sunburn faded to golden, but the freckles remain. The sensation of his beard against your skin makes you moan and you can’t help but roll your hips into him. He grips you tighter, holding you against him. You reach down between your bodies to pull at the waistband of his shorts. He takes the hint and lifts you both slightly so he can get rid of them. With the shorts out of the way, he can feel the heat and dampness of you against him, “Fuck me-” he breathes, hands tracing up your back to the clasp of your bra.

“Yes, please, yes.” Your hands are in his hair and you pull him back to your mouth for another searing kiss. You have to let go while he takes the straps of your bra down your arms but you press back up against him as soon as you can, the hair on his chest rough against your skin. You grind your hips down again, desperate to feel him against you. His hand goes between you both and he stops to check in again before touching you. You cup his cheek and nod, a shy smile. His fingers find your centre and brush against you. You breathe his name and your eyes flutter shut. Two fingers slide inside you and you think that’s already enough to send you over the edge. You rock against his hand, your forehead against his.

“Open your eyes,” he rasps, “I want to see you.” The second you open your eyes, he presses his thumb to your clit and you cry out. He doesn’t let up, working you through your orgasm until you're choking back a sob. You catch your breath for a moment, but the need for him is overwhelming.

“Need you now, have you got-”

“I’m clean, constant fucking medicals. You?” You nod and he slips your underwear to one side. You lift up to line him up against you and slide down onto him slowly. The stretch is exquisite, too much and yet absolutely perfect all at the same time. You take him fully and pause for a second to revel in the feeling of having him inside you. He kisses you softly, “you feel incredible. God, you’re so beautiful.” He takes your hips while you set the pace but it doesn’t take long for either of you to reach the edge. You come again with his name on your lips and he’s right there with you, bruising your hips with his grip. You slump against his shoulder, nose against his neck.

“Holy shit,” you manage eventually, feeling him laugh against you.

“Yeah, you’re not fucking wrong.” He pulls a blanket from the back of the sofa and wraps it over you as you slip off his lap to sit next to him. Neither of you says anything, his hands run up and down your calves as you sit with your legs in his lap. He reaches over to tuck your hair behind your ear, “will you stay?”

“If that’s ok?” He gets up and takes your hand, pulling you with him.

“Come on, shower and bed. I’ve got training with Jamie at 4am.”

You wake up briefly to a kiss on the back of your neck.

“Back in a bit, go back to sleep.” He whispers, kissing your earlobe. You sigh happily and snuggle down into the bed, pulling his pillow with you. You hadn’t gotten much sleep, waking every so often to soft caresses and kisses. Your body ached in a way you’d never felt before. You slip back into sleep again, waking a couple of hours later to a cup of tea and warm arms around you.

“How was training?” You ask, voice still full of sleep.

“Painful.” He laughed. You sit up to drink your tea, sitting in between his legs, his back against the headboard and yours against his chest. “Can I ask you something?” He murmurs, a hand drifting over your thigh, you let out a needy moan, it’s almost absurd how he can make you want him so badly. “Remember I had that suit fitting? There’s a gala for work next week. Will you come with me?” You turn to put your tea down and then kiss him.

“I’d love to. Thank you.” You smile.

“I’ve got an hour. What time do you have to go?”

“Same.”

“Good.” He smirks, pulling you back down to him.

[justagalwhowrites]

Lavender - Ch. 14

Tommy comes into the clinic and you offer your medical skills to both him and Joel. Continuation of Lavender Ch. 1-13 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Descriptions of injuries and treatment of injuries from canon-typical violence. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI!

Length: 5.4k

Sunday, October 4, 2009 - 3 months later 

You came out from the exam rooms and frowned. It took you a second to place the song just starting on the speakers in the waiting room. 

“Marta!” You said. “Is that Back in the U.S.S.R.?” 

“It is indeed,” she leaned across the front desk. 

“I haven’t heard that song in years!” You resisted the urge to dance in a waiting room with half a dozen patients as witnesses. The CD case was sitting on the desk and you gaped at it. “Is that the whole White Album? Where did you find that!” 

“I didn’t,” she smiled. You smiled too, shaking your head. “Andrew told me to keep my mouth shut about it until Sunday afternoon. Said you’d need it.” 

“He’s a sneak,” you said. 

“He also said you work too much, that you need to stop changing his schedule and that you need to stop conspiring with Jess,” her smile shifted to a smirk. “But I don’t think I was supposed to tell you that today.” 

“Oh I’m sure he’ll tell me himself later this week,” you rolled your eyes, still smiling. 

“You’ve got one in exam four,” she handed you a chart. “And Kristen is in with one in exam seven when you’re done there.” 

“Well, as long as we have The Beatles,” you said, tapping the file on the countertop in time to the music before heading back to the exam rooms. 

It was a small miracle that Jess had actually kept Andrew away from the clinic that day. He’d been almost unreasonably protective since Joel had left three months earlier and with your birthday the next day… You didn’t want to disrupt his life any more than you already had. He needed to do things like have a day off. His life was on track. 

The day after Joel left, you didn’t move. Andrew came by to make sure you were still alive. His knuckles were banged up. You stared at the wall. You slept. You stared at the wall some more. Andrew came back Monday morning, letting himself in your apartment and all but dragging you out of bed. 

“You can come to our place or you can go to work,” he said, standing at the edge of your bed, your face pressed against his stomach as he ran his hands over your tangled mass of hair. “Those are your choices. You need to get cleaned up, you need to get out of bed, you need to eat something. You’re not going to just rot here.” 

“I’ll go to work,” you said softly. 

“Then let’s get ready for work.” 

He walked you to the school, stood outside until he saw you go in the doors to make sure you didn’t just turn around and go back home. You didn’t go get your cup of bad coffee or stop and say hi to other teachers. You just went to your classroom and stared at the wall. Unlike in the schools before the outbreak, they’d let you paint your room. Andrew had helped. There was a solar system in one corner and a forest in another and flowering vines that framed the cracks in the cinderblock. 

Your room was the only one in the building like this. The FEDRA teachers were different than the teachers you were used to before. Everyone decorated their rooms before, doing everything they could to keep students engaged. From what you gathered for the regular schools in the QZ, that was still the case - or as much as it could be in the end of the world. But at what amounted to a military school for orphans of the war on humanity, the bare necessities were all there was. It was part of why you decided to teach at this school. Someone, you thought, needed to be invested in these kids. Why couldn’t it be you? 

So you’d decorated your room. Made a bookshelf and stocked it with things you picked up on the black market that had been brought in by smugglers and let the kids borrow what they wanted - everything from old copies of Scientific American to the Harry Potter books (you were still disappointed you’d never find out how those were going to end.) 

As you stared at the vines you’d painted four years ago, you decided that you couldn’t shut down on these kids. They had no one. You couldn’t just be one more person to leave them. You could be the one person they knew loved them. 

You made yourself smile as your students came in. Just because you didn’t matter to anyone else doesn’t mean that they didn’t matter to you. They were worth it. 

You threw yourself into your work. You picked up extra shifts at the clinic. Before, you had Sundays and Wednesdays off but now, you were there every day. Elias had talked to you twice already about burnout but you’d just shrugged him off. All you cared about was finding something that forced you to keep going, something that made you feel something besides hollow. The clinic and the school could be those things. You’d make them be those things. 

You quickly knocked on the door of exam room four before letting yourself in. 

“Hi there,” you smiled, without looking at the patient for a moment, just opening the chart. You froze. 

“Hey Kid.” 

The door closed and latched behind you. Dear Prudence was playing. 

“Hey Tommy.”

You stood there looking at each other. 

“I didn’t think you’d be in today,” he said eventually. “Thought you didn’t work on Sundays.” 

“I do now,” you shrugged. “I like keeping busy. There are no other doctors here right now but I can do a quick eval and see if a nurse can handle what you need or…” 

“No,” he waved you off. “I don’t have a problem with seeing you if you don’t have a problem seeing me. Wouldn’t blame you if you did but…” 

“I don’t,” you said quickly. He smiled. It reminded you of Joel in a way that made your heart ache while making everything seem lighter. You went to the sink and washed your hands, looking over your shoulder at him as you did. “How’ve you been?” 

“Tryin’ to stay out of trouble,” he said. “Don’t know how good a job I’ve been doing at that though.” 

“Not one of your considerable talents, I will say,” you teased. “What brings you by today?” 

“My inability to stay outta trouble,” he smirked. 

You laughed

“Alright, let’s see it.” 

He unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged out of one side of it. There was a makeshift bandage  around his bicep and you frowned. The blood was dried and the bandage looked like it had been on for far longer than it should have been. 

“Well that’s coming off,” you frowned. “And it’s probably going to hurt. The hell have you been doing, Miller?” 

He just looked sheepishly at you while you unwound the dressing, trying to do so as gingerly as possible. He still winced as the dried blood and discharge pulled on the open wound. 

“Are you fucking kidding me, Tommy?” You shook your head, looking over the injury. “The hell didn’t you come see me sooner?” 

“It didn’t seem that bad at first,” he said. “But it hasn’t been getting better and…” 

“Yeah, it’s infected you idiot,” you rolled your eyes, dropping the bandage in the trash. “When did you get this?” 

“Last week?” He winced. You sighed. 

“And why was someone shooting at you last week?” You asked. He went to respond and then glared at you. 

“Never said I got shot,” he said. 

“Yeah, I’ve had a partial shoulder shot, Tommy,” you glared at him. “I know what they look like. Who was shooting at you and why. Please tell me I’m not conspiring against FEDRA by treating you right now…” 

“It wasn’t FEDRA,” he rolled his eyes. “Just… had a run in with some bad people is all.”

You looked at him for a moment. 

“It wasn’t in the QZ was it?” 

He paused. 

“No.” 

You groaned. 

“What the fuck, Miller?” 

“Can you spare the lecture, Kid?” He asked. “Can you fix my arm or not?” 

“Nope, I’ll have to cut the whole thing off.” 

He rolled his eyes. You sighed. 

“Yes, I can fix your arm,” you said. “But it’s going to be a process because you didn’t come see me sooner. It needs debridement, I’m going to do some fairly intensive antibiotics because right now your shoulder is a goddamn Petri dish for a super bug and I want to nip that in the bud and then you’re getting stitches. And I swear to God Tommy if you don’t follow my directions for wound care…” 

“You’re not as scary as you think you are, Kid,” he smirked. “But I’ll listen to ya.” 

You glared at him but went and got what you needed from the supply room and scrubbed in before gloving up. 

“You’re lucky I like you,” you said, sitting next to him on the exam table as you injected his arm with local anesthetic. He winced. “Otherwise I’d just do this without numbing you up just to teach you a lesson.” 

You got out a scalpel and forceps, testing his arm after a minute before starting in on the infected tissue. 

“That’s disgusting,” he sounded a little sick. 

“Yeah, well, this is the price you pay for being a dumbass,” you said, focused on his arm.

“Your bedside manner is shit, Kid, anyone ever tell you that?” 

“You’d be the first,” you replied, depositing some of the tissue on a sterile cloth and going back in. He laughed. “Hold still or I will take off your arm.” 

He looked straight ahead for a moment while you worked, eyes narrowed, trying to make sure you were getting all the infected tissue while not taking any of the healthy with it. But after a few minutes he looked at you. 

“So how’ve you been?” He asked. 

“Busy,” you said noncommittally. 

“C’mon,” he said. “You know what I’m askin’.” 

You were quiet for a minute. 

“He told you then,” you said eventually. 

“Yeah.” He was still looking at you. You resisted the urge to cry. You couldn’t fuck up your sterile field. 

“Well, I’m still here,” you shrugged as you deposited more tissue on the cloth, giving the wound a final look. You grabbed the saline and went back to it. “May not want to tell him that, it’d probably be a let down.” 

“Look, Joel’s a fucking asshole but he’s not that much of a fucking asshole,” he said, sounding a bit defensive. “He wouldn’t want anything to happen to you.” 

“He said he never wanted to see me again,” you irrigated the wound and looked it over again. “A lot easier to do if I dropped dead or left town.” 

Tommy didn’t say anything. You put the saline away and got out the suture kit. 

“I’m going to stitch you up now,” you said. “Let me know if you feel anything, I can add to the anesthesia…” 

He just nodded and you started stitching. 

“How is he?” You asked after a moment. Tommy paused a moment before answering. 

“Survivin’,” he said eventually. You nodded slowly. 

“He going outside the QZ too?” 

“Not sure I should be telling a FEDRA doctor anything about that,” Tommy said wryly. You glared a him. “But yeah. He is.” 

“Tommy,” you groaned. “Jesus Christ…” 

“You think I can control a damn thing that man does?” He asked. You glared at him. “We both know he’s going to do whatever the fuck he wants, whatever he thinks is the best thing for everybody because no one else can take care of shit like Joel fuckin’ Miller can…” 

“Been sitting on that feeling for a while there?” You half smiled. 

“Something like that,” he muttered. 

You finished stitching his arm and gave him a shot of antibiotics.

“That’s going to start clearing the infection,” you said. “But I’m sending you home with pills, too. You take every single fucking one of them or I swear I will come and shove them down your throat like I’m drugging a dog. Bacterial infection is a shit show here as it is, I will not let you make it worse because you create an antibiotic resistant strain of super bacteria by not completing your meds…” 

“I’ll take the drugs, Kid.” 

“Good.” 

You wrapped his arm and sat back, looking at your handiwork. 

“Come in like that again and I’m not giving you the anesthesia,” you said, cleaning up your supplies. 

“Well there’s some incentive for you,” he laughed, shrugging back into his shirt. You threw away the trash and your gloves and leaned against the counter, arms crossed, watching as he buttoned his shirt. 

“How often are you leaving the QZ?” You asked.

“Don’t exactly have a set schedule,” he said, cagey. 

“Tommy.” 

“Bout twice a month.” 

You nodded slowly. 

“And how often are you getting fucking shot at?” 

He laughed a little and gave you a cocky smile. 

“Bout twice a month.” 

“Jesus Christ…” you muttered.

“They’re bad shots, Kid.” 

“Not that bad.” 

You sighed. 

“I’m only saying this because I know you’re going to keep going out there regardless of what I say about it,” you said. “But next time one of you is hurt and you don’t feel… comfortable coming to the clinic, please get me. I’ll come to you, you can come to me, I don’t really care. Just please don’t get yourselves killed because you’re stubborn idiots.” 

“That go for my idiot brother, too?” He asked, watching you. 

“Course it does,” you said. “Just hit him over the head with a frying pan after taking a thorough medical history so he doesn’t have to see me when I treat him.” 

Tommy snorted, shaking his head as he got down from the exam table. He looked you up and down, a sense of sadness on his face. 

“He’s an idiot, Kid,” he said, meeting your eyes. “I love him but he’s the biggest fuckin’ idiot I know.” 

“He’s not,” you half smiled at him. “But I appreciate the thought. Try to make sure he stays in one piece? Look out for him?” 

“I will,” he said, leaning in and giving you a kiss on the cheek.

You pressed the bottle of antibiotics into his hand and watched him leave the exam area, staring at the door he left through for a moment before going to the next exam room. 

Your birthday was a Monday. It was hard to not think about the year before, the day that Joel and Tommy made it to the QZ. You’d thought, for a while, that it was a sign that the day might not be cursed. It could hold the best and the worst of life, it didn’t matter. It felt less good now. 

This year, a long workday helped. Your students were particularly well behaved for a Monday. You weren’t sure if they sensed that you were off or if it was just a coincidence but either way, you were grateful for it. The clinic was good, too. Enough patients to keep your mind occupied and body moving, not so many that you were overwhelmed. 

“Not a bad day all things considered,” Andrew said as you finished with your last patient’s chart a few minutes before 10. The White Album was on again. 

“It was not,” you said, perching on the edge of the desk. He leaned beside you. “Thank you for The Beatles, by the way.” 

“Course,” he kissed your temple and you rested your head on his shoulder. “Knew you’d need it.” 

“I come bearing cake!” Jess sang as she came into the clinic, plate in hand. “Andrew said it wasn’t really that kind of birthday but I figure hard days are an even better excuse for cake so…” 

“Any days are a good excuse for cake,” you smiled. 

“My sentiments exactly,” she smiled back. 

The three of you walked to your place and you put on the AC/DC album that you kept at the apartment specifically for when Andrew was being a jerk about your music or needed some cheering up. 

“Awww, real music,” he said as you cut the cake. “You DO care!” 

“Don’t read into it,” you shook your head and smiled a little, passing out plates. You poured each of you a beer and you gathered around your small table. 

“To an honestly not bad birthday for the shittiest of birthdays,” Andrew raised his glass. You shook your head. 

“If society ever returns, you’re not giving a toast at my wedding,” you teased. 

You’d only gotten halfway through your beer and your slice of cake - Jess, as it turned out, was a talented baker - when there was a sharp knock on your door. The three of you looked at each other, frowning. Andrew gestured for both of you to stay put and tiptoed to the door. He checked the peephole before opening it, holding the door against his side so whoever it was couldn’t see in. 

“Are you the Kid?” A woman’s voice you didn’t recognize asked. “I was told to come here and get the Kid, it’s urgent…” 

You got up and went to the door, ducking below Andrew’s arm. He groaned. 

“You couldn’t just stay at the table…” he muttered. 

A woman, about 10 years older than you, was standing there. Her lip was swollen, blood at her arm where her shirt was torn. She looked you up and down, assessing you. 

“You’re the Kid,” she said instead of asked it this time. “Jesus, you are young.” 

“I’m 31,” you said defensively. 

“Huh,” her eyes lingered on your hair. You’d put a ribbon on the end of your braid. “You look younger.” 

“Thanks,” you said wryly. Andrew pulled you back against him, his hand on your shoulder possessively. You crossed your arms. “I take it you know Tommy?” 

“And Joel,” she said. Andrew’s hand clenched you harder. “They need help and Tommy said I should come to you…” 

“No,” Andrew said before you got a chance to respond. “I don’t care what shit they got themselves into…” 

“I don’t think I was asking you,” the woman said. “Look, I don’t have time…” 

“How bad is it?” You cut them both off. She looked you over again. You sighed. “Before the outbreak would you call an ambulance or drive to urgent care?” 

“Ambulance.” 

You shoved past Andrew and went to grab the go bag you kept stashed under your bed for emergency situations where they called you into the field from home. The woman had followed you inside. Jess waved awkwardly from the table. 

“Celebrating?” The woman asked. 

“It’s her birthday,” Jess nodded in your direction. The woman winced a little. 

“Sorry about that.” 

“Hasn’t been a day worth celebrating in a while,” you shrugged. “Don’t know why that should change now.” 

Andrew grabbed your arm and you frowned up at him. 

“You don’t need to do this,” he said. The woman stiffened, sizing him up. You ignored her. 

“Yes I do.” 

He pulled you in for a tight hug and sighed. 

“Don’t let it destroy you.” 

You gave him a stiff nod and hurried out into the night with the woman. 

“Where are they?” You asked, walking quickly to the stairs. “Their apartment?” The woman nodded once. You started down the stairs and you looked her up and down. “Can you run?” 

“There’s a reason I was the one to come get you,” she said. 

You took off for their place the second you were down the stairs, glancing back to see that the other woman wasn’t far behind.

It had been months since you’d ventured into this part of the QZ. You’d actively avoided it. You tried not to think about the fact that it had been more than three months since you’d last seen Joel but you knew it would hurt. His picture was still on your bedside table. You thought about him all the time - when you found a clever line in a book you’d share if he were reading beside you, when you remembered the way he’d touch you without thinking about it because touching you was the most natural thing in the world, when you tried to channel his blunt way of moving through life when something about the QZ was especially frustrating. You’d missed him desperately before he came to Boston. It was worse now. He was so close, close enough that you could be touching him in just minutes and he’d never been further away. You were worried you were going to be stuck like this - longing and alone - forever. 

And you were still running to his side. 

The woman let you into their apartment. Joel was flat on his back in the middle of the living room floor, Tommy beside him with a towel on Joel’s side. 

“Hey Kid,” Tommy said sheepishly. He was bleeding, too, what looked like a shallow knife wound on his ribs. You glared at him, going to the other side of Joel and dropping your pack next to him. 

“I just patched you up fucking yesterday, Miller,” you said. “And this is what you do?” 

“Can you lecture me after you save this asshole?” He asked. 

“Move the towel,” you ordered. “I need to see what I’m working with.” 

He obeyed, pulling the cloth away and revealing a bullet hole in Joel’s stomach. 

“Son of a bitch,” you breathed. “You just had to fucking go outside the QZ again, didn’t you?” 

“I know, I know,” he said. “Please say you can fix this…” 

“I sure fucking hope so,” you looked between him and the woman. “Which of you is better with blood? Both with seeing it and have lost less of it?” 

“I think I’ve lost less,” the woman said. Her fingers were winding around themselves. She was nervous. 

“Good,” you said. “Tommy, move.” You grabbed the bag and went to where he’d been and looked at the woman. “You… I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name?” 

“Tess.” 

“Tess,” you repeated once, nodding. “You’re with me. Go wash your hands like you just swam in a sewer and you’re about to eat a sandwich. Tommy, I need light, a fuck ton of light. And boil water, I’m going to need sterile water.” 

They both rushed to obey while you assessed the situation. Joel was unconscious. You tried really hard to not think about the fact that it was Joel who was unconscious. The bullet wound was your primary concern. You checked his pulse. It was a lot weaker than you wanted. 

“Tommy,” you called. “How many towels have you gone through?” 

“Three, I think?” He called back, running in with flashlights and depositing them next to you. 

“Shit,” you muttered. Tess came back from the bathroom and you pulled a pack of gloves from your bag. “Put those on, hold pressure on the wound. I need to go scrub because I need to get in there.” 

You pulled off your button down shirt leaving just your tank top below and left Tess there, trusting her to follow your instructions. You were still fighting not to panic about the fact that it was Joel bleeding out on the living room floor. You focused on the water running over your fingers, the soap, anything but whose life you were about to try to save. 

Tess was holding the towel against Joel’s stomach when you came back in and you pulled on gloves, getting on your knees beside his body. 

“This is going to be messy for multiple reasons,” you said, looking between Tess and Tommy. “Either of you ever drawn blood before?” They glanced at each other but were silent. “Either of you happen to know his blood type?” 

“You don’t?” Tommy asked. 

“Why would I know Joel’s blood type?” You looked at him like he was crazy. 

“Weren’t you studying for that doctor exam when you were…” 

“Yeah, I didn’t go around memorizing everyone’s blood types!” You closed your eyes for a second. This was going to take a small miracle. “Doesn’t matter. I’m O-, either of you O-?” 

They shook their heads.

“Why’s that matter?” Tommy asked. 

“Because I’m basically a walking blood bag,” you said, cracking your neck. “And he’s going to need a transfusion…” 

“How are you going to transfuse him while operating?” Tess gaped at you. 

“Fucking carefully I guess!” You snapped. “This is going to be a first for me, too, but unless you guys want to move him to the clinic and get potentially executed by FEDRA for leaving the QZ…” 

“Right,” Tess nodded. “Right, OK…” 

“Any other emergent injuries that I should know about besides the gunshot wound?” You asked. They were silent. You took a deep breath and nodded. “Alright, let’s do this. Tommy, I need light.” 

He held the light over Joel’s stomach and you palpated his stomach, finding the bullet. 

“Tommy,” you glanced up at him. “I’m not sure how unconscious he is, but if he starts moving, you need to hold him down. I don’t have anesthesia and I can’t have him thrashing around when I’m wrist deep in his abdominal cavity. If the call is light or holding him still, drop the light and hold him down, got it?” 

He swallowed hard and then nodded. You picked up the scalpel, took a deep breath, and cut. Tommy made a gagging sound and you ignored him. You located the bullet quickly, lodged in the large intestine. All things considered, he got lucky. It had missed the pancreas, the stomach and the small intestine. 

“Tess,” you said as you got ready to extract the bullet. “I need you to try to monitor his pulse. If it gets any fainter, we’ll have to start a transfusion now. Once I start pulling the bullet out, the bleeding could get a lot worse.” 

You pried the bullet free, trying to move it as cleanly as possible down the path it had entered his body through - easier said than done without the proper tools. And he did start bleeding more. You just hoped it wouldn’t be too bad. 

“I need gauze, from the kit, in the sterile packs.” 

Tess moved quickly ripping it open. You yanked it out and stuffed the wound, giving you time to repair the damage to the large intestine without flooding the abdominal cavity with blood. “He’s getting pale,” Tess warned. 

“Pulse?” 

“I think it’s OK…” 

You nodded, swapping out gauze. 

“Tommy,” you said. “I need that water…” 

He grabbed the still warm kettle, handing it to you. You splashed some on your skin. It was hot but didn’t burn. You cleaned the area and watched to see if he was still losing blood, if there was a repair you’d missed. You were pretty sure you’d caught everything. 

“Good news,” you pulled the gauze from his body. “Damage was pretty minimal and it was a simple repair. I’m going to close him up, then we can just tap into me and finish this up…” 

You stitched him up quickly and yanked the gloves off before switching them for a clean pair. 

“In the bag, there should be a needle pack, alcohol wipes, some tubing and a tourniquet,” you said. “I need all of it.” 

Tess moved quickly again, handing you the supplies. You didn’t have a bag to transition the blood from you to Joel, so you were going to have to settle for a direct transfusion. It wasn’t something that was ever really done anymore, but you’d read enough about it, you were pretty sure you could figure it out. You got everything set up and sat down, your back against the couch, before putting the needle in your own arm. You removed the tourniquet and blood started flowing from you into him. You slumped over a bit, finally able to take a breath. You kept his wrist in your hand to monitor his pulse. 

“He should be largely out of the woods,” you said. Both Tess and Tommy visibly relaxed. “He’s going to need to take it easy for a while. Tommy, those antibiotics I gave you yesterday? Give Joel the same dosage. Track how many you give him, come by the clinic sometime this week when I’m there and I’ll give you another bottle.” 

“Thank you,” Tess was watching you. “For doing this. Your friend was right, you didn’t have to…” 

“Yes I did,” you closed your eyes and leaned your head back against the couch. “But I would have anyway.” 

Tommy brought you a glass of water and you chugged it, trying to pay attention to how long you’d been transferring blood and how strong Joel’s pulse was. His color was getting a bit better. Tess and Tommy were talking in hushed tones in the kitchen but you didn’t care. 

You hadn’t realized how long it had been since you’d seen Joel without tension in his face. He was soft and beautiful like this. It reminded you of life with him in Texas, when the biggest problems you had were whether or not Sarah should do regular soccer or travel soccer. You had to resist the urge to touch him, kiss him. Fuck, you loved him. You’d always be stuck loving him. 

You decided to enjoy it. You doubted you’d have a chance to see him like this ever again, so you quietly memorized his face, the flecks of gray coming into his beard, the creases around his eyes, the precise arch of his nose. You looked away for a moment to check the status of his incision - relieved to see that it wasn’t oozing blood - when the hand that was in your fingers started to move. 

You tightened your grip on him - not wanting to disturb the transfusion - but watched his face. “Tommy,” you called over your shoulder, still watching Joel.  He and Tess both rushed over, the three of you watching as Joel slowly came round. 

His eyes found you first and you braced yourself for his wrath, but it didn’t come. 

“Hey Baby,” his lips tugged up at the edges. “Did I die? What are you doin’ here?” 

“Not dead,” your heart was racing. “You’re very much alive, despite your best efforts.”

“He doesn’t remember,” Tommy said. “Why doesn’t he remember?” 

“He will,” you said. “He’s just out of it. He probably won’t remember this at all, which is just as well…” 

“Always remember you…” he muttered. He tried to sit up but you pushed him back down. His eyes drifted over you. “Even dead you’re so fuckin’ pretty…”

“Not dead, Joel. Giving you a blood transfusion right now,” you said. “And you just had surgery. You need to lie still for me, OK?” 

“Knew you’d be a doctor,” he mumbled, closing his eyes again. “My girl the doctor…” 

“That’s me alright,” you said, feeling light headed. You looked up at Tommy. “Hold him down for me? I think he’s got enough blood now and I can’t stand losing much more…” 

Tommy listened as you stopped the transfusion and got everything cleaned up. Joel was unconscious again, but no longer bleeding out. 

“He’ll need to be monitored for the next 48 hours,” you said, writing out some basic care instructions. “Anything goes to shit, Tommy, you know where to find me. And don’t forget about the antibiotics. We can’t have him getting infected…” 

“We can pay you when we cash in from this run,” Tess said, her hands in her back pockets as she watched you. You frowned. 

“I don’t want your money,” you said. 

“I’m not comfortable owing someone,” she replied. You read between the lines. She wasn’t comfortable owing you, Joel’s ex. Something told you that Tommy hadn’t mentioned the specifics of your relationship to Joel. And Joel had moved on. Of course he’d moved on. There was a stabbing pain in your chest that you’d have to cry about once you were out of here. 

“You don’t,” you said, desperate to go home. “Really. Hippocratic oath and all that…” 

“There has to be something you need,” she said. 

You looked at her, thinking for a moment before settling on something. 

“Can you take me outside the QZ?” 

A/N: Soooooo please excuse any and all medical errors in this sucker. I word for a living (that's right, I write all day at work and then I get on my personal laptop and write all evening because why not.) I know jack crap about anything medical beyond what some googling does and the fact that I binged watched both Grey's Anatomy and E.R. at the start of the pandemic. This is probably a medical disaster area but just act like I know what I'm talking about, OK? It'll be way more fun that way.

Thank you as always for reading! We're into the QZ era of the story which I might be weirdly excited about given the realities of it. I have lots planned for this chunk of the fic and I hope you all enjoy it. I love love LOVE reading all your comments and seeing what you respond to and connect with. Thanks so much for sticking with this story! I love you all!

Taglist (just comment below if you want to be added!): @paleidiot @ayamenimthiriel @ginger-swag-rapunzel @drewharrisonwriter

[speedycoffeedelight]

An Animalistic Disaster

CH-21 : Reactions to episode 3 and 4

Summary: Just as the title says.

Masterlist

A.N :T.W : Sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse (All the stuff Angel went through. Remember to take a breather while reading the chapter if you need it.)

You were able to convince your co-worker to work your shift quickly. It took some persuasion but you won in the end. Now you had at least a couple of days to yourself to relax and let go. Soon enough, Niffty came back with three plates of food and Cherri helped her carry them.

"I cooked spicy chicken yesterday. Tell me if it gets too for you to handle." Cherri said laughing as you were handed a plate each and a glass of water. The dish looked delectable. As soon as you were handed the plate, you began to wolf it down from hunger.

It was indeed quite spicy. It burnt on your tongue. Yet you couldn't stop eating. The flavours were literally bursting in your mouth like a bomb. You finished the plate in light speed and held out the empty plate towards Cherri.

"Seconds please!"

After the three of you were done eating, all of you again sat back in the same position as before. This time you leaned back on Angel a bit from how full you felt. As soon as everyone was in place again, you started episode 3.

.

.

.

.

' That looks perfect! ' Charlie exclaimed with happiness.

It looked like Pentious had successfully stayed a whole week with them already. Pentious soon came inside the hotel with a large cannon.

' I'm really looking forward to shooting the other residents. '

' What? Why? '

' Everyone is being too nice. Obviously it must be a lie. I can sense they are planning to kill me. But when? How? I must be.. prepared! '

Oh Pentious, sweetie, you can relate to not being used to kindness too. It almost always makes you second guess thinking they are just faking things for you or you don't deserve it. Or they have some ulterior motive.

' People are being nice because they want you to feel welcome '

As soon as Vaggie said that, it cut off to Husk and Angel giving Pentious the middle finger and Niffty smiling creepily at him. "You really want me to believe your words when they're like that?" Pentious commented pointing at the screen and looking at Charlie. "I'm sure they mean no harm...just watch." She said looking at the screen again.

' And you need to get rid of these...things. Oh, what did I just say? What did I just say? '

' What not my little egg Bois. They do my evil bidding for me. '

"Nooo, Vaggie let them stay. They're adorable!" You pleaded giving the human Vaggie puppy eyes and Pentious joined you. Vaggie rubbed between her eyes in frustration. "Fine...I would but you know I can't control what happens there."

"Oh...right..."

' Do you want to stay here and redeem yourself? '

' Yesss...? '

' Then no more eggs '

"Vaggie that's cruel. How could you." You dramatically sayed as she rolled her eyes. You leaned over and patted Pentious on his shoulder. " Don't worry, I'm on your side okay?" Pentious nodded with a sad smile.

Pentious in the show acted like the eggs couldn't bear to leave him as the eggs just followed Vaggie without a question. Then it cut off to a .... rotting deer? And Alastor eating the said rotten deer with a fork and a knife?

"Alastor Ew, what the fuck?" You looked over at Alastor. Charlie, Angel, Pentious and Cherri had the same reaction as you. Vaggie looked like it was nothing new and Niffty and Husk were already used to this. "Alastor if you wanted we could get you some fresh meat you know!" Charlie exclaimed. "You just had to ask!"

"Mmm, no. I prefer hunting my own meals myself." Alastor said with a grin. "It's far more entertaining ~"

" Why am I even surprised..." Angel facepalmmed. "Whatevah, continue the episode (Y/n). " And you did. Alastor's room was pretty interesting, with half of the room being a forest and other half normal. And apparently that dead rotten deer was his breakfast. How he could eat that disgusting smelly corpse was beyond you.

" Alastor....is this why your teeth are yellow? Cause you don't brush your teeth..? "

" Oh heavens no darling. I am quite hygienic, I assure you. They were like this since I fell in hell. "

" .....It better be or else I don't want your nasty ass breath near me."

That ticked off Alastor a little as his left eye twitched. "Nasty you say... I'll get as close to you as I want, wether you like it or not. I'm afraid you don't have a choice in that matter."

Why did your stomach did a flip at that? Control yourself (Y/n)!

Alastor agreed to Vaggie to take care of the egg Bois humanely after she told him to. Charlie was trying to ease the tension in the hotel as Pentious squeezed Niffty with his tail to kill her. Though Niffty seemed to be enjoying it. Charlie decided they would do trust exercises to build bond between the hotel members.

' Oh I will. But it's cash up front. And I know that one, can't afford me. '

' Gross. I'd never think of it spider. '

" That's right baby. It takes money to get this body movin! " Angel pointed at himself. " Though I might do it for free for you (Y/n)~ think of it as paying back for all you've done for me." Angel whispered in your ear seductively making shiver run through you. Vaggie pushed Angel's face away. "No, you are not doing those. (Y/n) are you okay? I can move this freak if you want to." She asked tenderly while putting a hand on your shoulder.

God why were they all so beautiful and so keen on making you blush. You felt like your face was red as a tomato now as you moved your head sheepishly. "N-no, you don't have to move him, ahaha..." You thought he was just messing with you. Since Angel is supposed to be gay after all so you wouldn't get your hopes up. Angel on the other hand smirked seeing the effect he had on you.

Charlie entrusted Vaggie to lead the trust exercise. They had to share something vulnerable about themselves with the group. She went full military mode with the explanation. Charlie went first with the exercise as she expressed how much she loved the members and fell on Vaggie's arm. You gave the Charlie beside you a headpat.

Angel went on the stage next.

' I love to suck - '

' I swear to fuck if you say dicks! '

' Popsicles you sicko. Getcho mind outta gutter. '

Husk grumbled beside you in frustration as Angel laughed at him. Cherri joined in too. The Angel in the show and then fell down on Husk's arms. Despite Vaggie saying everyone had to catch him, none but Husk did.

' But you know, dicks too. '

And Husk let him fall. Pentious was next. He expressed dramatically how he didn't want to live without his minions and he didn't want anyone to catch him.

' Damn it. '

But he got caught by everyone. Next was Niffty's turn as she quickly ran to the stage, scurrying with her little legs.

' Sometimes, I kill mother bugs in front of their children as a warning to others. '

Everyone, minus Alastor and Niffty was horrified. Suddenly, you didn't feel so safe anymore with her in front of you. When Niffty turned around to give you a smile it only made you gulp in fear as you gave a nervous smile back. You made a mental note to yourself to never mess with Niffty.

No one caught her after she jumped. It was understandable why.

' Yay! Pain! '

However it looked like she didn't mind it one bit. She kept going up the stage and jumping down from it. "...Heeeey Angel? Wanna switch places with me?" You whispered. However Angel turned your head straight around with his hands. "No thanks, I don't wanna go anywhere near her. You're all on your own toots, sorry. " ' Traitor....' you thought bitterly in your mind.

' I like your suit. '

' What are the antlers for? '

' Can I touch your staff thing? '

' Are those your ears or is it your hair? '

Alastor eyes twitched with annoyance as they kept questioning him. Finally, they were asking the real questions. "Alastor, mind answering those questions for us? I'm curious too. " You looked at him only to see his smile seemed strained and his eye brows furrowed. "I believe it is none of your business. Now use your hands to start the video again before I rip it off. " You've never started a video again so fast before.

A new Character showed up. It seemed like Alastor and this Zestial knew each other. And from how people scattered from him you guessed it he has to be one of the powerful demons. He talked like an ancient being too. He was an overlord apparently. As they both went up a lift, a little eggboi named Frank got stuck with them.

' Oh look, Frank is up there. '

' We have names? '

Hehe, you can already see that egg being a fun little addition to the meeting. There were other overlords too. It was some kind of overlord meeting. And there was Rosie! You couldn't wait to hear how she sounded like. Fandom has been going nuts over her since the trailer dropped.

' Alastor? '

' Yes I know. I've been absent sometime. I'm sure you've all been wondering. '

' Not really. But welcome back in any case. '

The way his face srunched up at surprise at her not caring made you want to laugh your heart out. He got mad because someone didn't care enough about him? Aww. Adorable.

' No, they have better shit to do then to listen to an old windbag who thinks she's tough shit. I'm here to represent. '

Velvette entered the meeting. Vox and Valentino apparently would stay absent. Then before they could resume, she threw an angel's head on the table. A collective gasp came from everyone in the room.

' Ohh, tasty '

Alastor why are you like this..

As Velevette was trying to tell them about their plan to fight back, Zestial interrupted her to know how foolish it was. To which Velevette responded with teasing and calling him old man. As Zestial was talking with her you noticed Alastor having a test of the head. Gross.

' Oh what's the matter fossil? Too senile to make a real power grab ? '

' You better show some respect!

Check your behaviour '

That song came outta nowhere. Sick guitar sounds too.

' Haha. You've got it twisted.

I'm not the one who needs a new attitude.

Maybe you missed it,

But I'm that #Bitch '

Okay, this was nice. You were jamming to the song. Her singing voice was nice.

' I'm the backbone of the V's '

You paused to check what was written. Damn, vox sent her a 'behave' text. Also the little ice cream of them seemed tasty.

' Oops, did I strike a nerve?

' Cause when I brought out the Angel's

head

Couldn't help but observe

That your wrinkled face was turning

red '

Hm, maybe Carmila does have something to do with the head? And velvette was trying to coax it out of her.

' That was a productive meeting '

Shut it Alastor. Well, it was indeed interesting to say the least. Carmila ended the meeting abruptly. Alastor noticed Carmila and Zestial going into a room together so he sent Frank after them.

"Alastor, nothing better happen to my egg Boi." Pentious whispered. To which he rolled his eyes. "Come on, it's just an egg. You can make more surely. "

Angel brought the gang to to bondage club later. You had to laugh at the absurdity.

' What makes you think anyone would be into this? '

' Y'know, I, I don't hate this. '

Old man Husk to go. That purring was also adorable.

' I'm ready to punish some bad boys. '

Niffty? Damn that girl was packing inside that dress. Good for her. Vaggie then took them to a freaking battle ground to build trust.

' Buckle up buttercups. Because today you boys become men. '

Intense. It was the only word you could use to describe her training. Vaggie chucked both Pentious and Angel out from the roof. Husk quickly dipped while Vaggie wasn't looking. Niffty was excited to be thrown but got stopped by Charlie.

' I'm supposed to never fail you..'

' You didn't fail me. Vaggie you're not..'

' If I can't help you what's the point of me? '

Poor Vaggie. She was looking down, avoiding both your and Charlie's gaze. They both took some time off to themselves. You slid both of your hands behind Charlie and Vaggie back and squished them together, making them smile a bit.

Zestial was trying to convince Carmila to share her secrets with him. So it was pretty much confirmed it was her.

' But if anyone knew

Then all of hell would rise to war. '

So that was her reason for hiding the news. She didn't want to risk her daughter's life. It's understandable.

' When I saw your face

You made me feel like stranger in a

brand new place '

Vaggie's singing too? That's cool. And her voice was really soothing as well.

' I'll spend my life being your partner. '

Charlie didn't know when she started crying. " Vaggie.." she sniffed. " I love youuuu" she pulled her in a hug again. " I love you too Hun. " She mumbled and kissed Charlie's forehead. Your heart, it felt like it was going to melt. You wanted a relationship like them, badly.

' What was the last thing? '

' She killed the angel ? '

' Interesting.. '

Alastor chuckled darkly beside you. He was definitely cooking something evil with that knowledge.

' At least you can take beating like a champ. You did okay new kid. '

All of the residents were getting a bit better with eachother. Laughing and joking. This episode ended nicely with Pentious going to sleep with his egg Bois all cozy and nicely. As soon as the episode was over, people started to talk with each other. However you didn't realise how little this happy time would last with the next episode..

After a few minutes of talking, you started episode four. Everyone was excited to watch the next episode. And it started with Angel tied up? You and the others were concerned for a moment before it turned out to be a....porn that Angel was showing to the hotel residents. Alastor and Pentious's face scrunched up at the noise of Angel's moans. And you...you didn't know how to feel to be honest.

' Fuck you, this is classy art. '

And it showed a wolf slapping Angel's ass and biting so big that you were sure he took a chunk out of his ass. And god the moaning. You were a blushing mess already.

' That's bullshit. You get drunk and bitch and moan all the time. Everyone likes to bitch to the bartender. I know everything about you and these motherfucker's at this point. '

Yeah, Husk gets to listen to a lot of tales doesn't he? No wonder he's one of the most knowledgeable and the most tired one of the group.

' That one, that one is an insecure buffon who's lonely ass watches you idiots

sleep. '

"Pentious does what?" Charlie asked looking at him shocked as Pentious looked terrified at the glare he was getting. He quickly waved his hands in front of him. "W-wait, this is just in the show. I haven't done anything like that yet! Please spare me miss Vaggie.."

' Princess is a bleeding heart who wants to solve everybody else's problem except her own. '

' What? No. I. What. Ohh. No. '

Yep she definitely does.

' This one judges everyone and everything because she hates herself. '

Aww, Vaggie...poor girl.

' And Niffty? Argh,you don't even wanna know what her deal is. '

If Husk says so, you'll believe him. Though you didn't need Husk to spell out how dangerous Niffty was.

' Kittens got claws,meoow~ '

' And you, don't get me started. I see right through you and all these bullshit and how fake you are. '

Somehow, that got him agitated. While talking with Husk suddenly a call came in Angel's phone. And from the looks of it, it must have been Valentino. God damn that guy.

' Okay, I could be so aggressively kind to Angel's boss that I convince him to let Angel spend more time at the hotel. '

Ah, fuck, fuck, FUCK. This was going to go horribly wrong. You could feel that in every inch of your body. Valentino and Charlie meeting is never going to go well.

"Oh nonono.. please. Please don't go there. " Angel mumbled above you while inching close to the Laptop. It almost looked like he wanted to go inside and stop Charlie if he could. On one hand, you wanted Charlie to find out about the shit Angel goes through so she could help him out. But in the other hand, you didn't want that thinking about in how many ways that could go wrong.

Angel facepalmmed. Almost looking defeated and tensed beside you as the show went on. The show cut off to Angel in middle of the shooting. Between that, Angel caught the sight of Charlie coming inside the studio. "Fuck!" Angel cursed above you. Charlie blushed as a female sinner took off their bra and flashed Charlie right in her face. Vaggie grumbled beside you in jealousy.

' What in the ever loving fuck are you doing here? '

' I am the princess of hell Angel and I go where I please. I'm here to get you some time off for the hotel. '

Charlie's intention was nice. But, god, you still had a bad feeling.

' I'm...coming! '

' Not off camera you're not. '

Fucking Val... Before Angel could get Charlie out Valentino took notice. Both real life Angel and cartoon Angel cursed.

' What can I do for such a... '

' Ahh, no thank you..'

Did...Did that motherfucker just lick Charlie's arm??? Oh hell fucking no! Vaggie screamed beside you. "That's fucking it! It was a fucking mistake to let you go alone! I swear to fucking god when I see that moth I'm going to rip him to pieces!" You felt the same. " I want to fucking rip his tongue out for doing that to Charlie.

Alastor clicked his tongue. "Such disgusting behaviour. I wouldn't have expected any better from those lot."

' Make us both richer then well, your papito- '

' Fuck, nooo. I.. I'm sorry..'

That fucking prick. How dare he suggest something like that to her.

' Not at all, princess... '

He was mad, he was really really mad. And the way he looked at Angel, he was probably going to take it out on him. You didn't know if your heart was prepared for it. "Charlie, you're fucking things up..a lot.." Husk commented, he already had an idea on what was going to happen having a shitty boss himself.

And then Charlie tripped and disconnected a wire making everything go on fire. Valentino glared at Angel and stood up. He put off all of the fire with a swish of his wings that you didn't know he had beforehand.

' Angel, can I see you in your dressing room for a moment? '

Suddenly Angel's hand came and paused it the video. His hand was shaky. He could already anticipate what was going to come. And he didn't know if he would be able to face others after that. After they see him like that.

"Angel, I'm really really sorry. I really just wanted to do something good for you and I -" Angel cut Charlie off with a finger as he turned to you. His face was darkened. "(Y/n), is there any way I can see this? Alone? Please?" You completely understood why he would want that as you nodded and brought out your phone and unlocked it.

" Y-you can watch it on my phone in the other room if you want. Is that okay? " You whispered, feeling scared for him. He grabbed your phone, refusing to look at you or anyone else in the room as he stood up and went to the other room. You called out to Cherri immediately. "Please go to him. I don't want him to stay alone...he might allow you to stay." Cherri nodded at you as she went to the other room.

You looked back at the others who looked anxious. You took a deep breath. "Whatever happens.... let's make sure to give Angel some time after this.." with that, you paused the episode, preparing yourself for the worst.

Angel hurriedly searched up the episode in the other room as he noticed Cherri come in. "Cherri! Go...watch with the others.." he said looking down. "No way bitch, I ain't letting my best friend be alone in a time like this." She said popping down beside him. "We're going to watch this shit together. "

.

.

.

.

' Val, I didn't know that- '

Before Angel could say anything Valentino slapped him across the face with the back of his hand making his eye swollen. You hissed at the impact.

' You really think you can have Lucifer's little bitch fight back for you? '

' Val please I'm sorry she- '

' You'd bring her here to protect you? To fuck with me? '

' Argh, fuck..! '

This whole thing was really really painful to watch. You could feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes as you watched Angel being thrown around like a rag doll by that motherfucking no good son of a bitch. With every slap and hiss of Valentino, Charlie was whimpering beside you. Tears already falling from her eyes as she held your arm. Vaggie and Pentious was looking away from time to time, not being able to stomach it. This scene was much more brutal and disturbing then the music video.

Alastor also had a disturbed look on his face, his smile cracking slightly from the distasteful sight in front of him. Husk closed his eyes but the sound of Angel's whimpers still rang in his ears. How he wanted to drown himself in booze right now. Even Niffty wasn't enjoying this.

Everytime Val hit Angel in the show, it felt like he was getting hurt in real life. He whimpered and hugged himself close to him. Cherri could feel his pain. She patted his back slowly as to not set him off. She knew too much touch will only set him off more.

' You think she can get you out of work? '

' No, no, t-that's not what I'm trying to do...no..argh- '

Valentino had a firm grip on Angel's neck as he looked down at him menacingly and threw him to the floor. Angel was coughing and breathing heavily, trying to get air back in his lungs.

' You know she can't do anything. I own you. Or have you forgotten that ? '

" No "

Valentino made a smoke collar and dragged Angel up by it. He summoned the contract paper Angel had signed. It was signed in his real name, Anthony.

It wasn't a surprise to you. Angel's real name was revealed in a hunicast livestream before. So was Vaggie's. But to the other sinners sitting beside you, it was a big deal. Charlie was slamming on the floor, feeling helpless for not being able to do anything. Vaggie went to her side, trying to comfort her. Pentious was full on crying as well while hugging his knees to his chest. You squeezed Niffty close to you as waterworks were coming from your eyes.

Angel's situation was worser as he almost began to have trouble breathing. This..this was shown to everyone in the other room. What would they think of him now. He felt so open, so exposed. Even more then when he filmed porn. This was a side he kept to himself. He was an actor. He acted wherever he went. He acted that he was fine and everything was fine. He's got it under control. But now, that won't work anymore. They knew how things truly were. And it scared him. It scared him to know that they could use this information to hurt him even more then he already is.

He doesn't know if he's prepared for that.

' When I say come, you say.. '

' Yes Valentino '

' When I say you're fucking twenty guys before lunch you say.. '

' Yes Valentino '

' When I say you better get that fucking cunt out of my studio, you say.. '

' I-i '

' You. Say. '

' Look Val. She just gets involved in everything. I'll.. I'll tell her to leave. Just don't hurt her '

Charlie let out a chocked sob at that. "It's... it's all my fault....Vaggie.. Angel..he got hurt because of...me.. I'm a monster.." She looked at her hands. Vaggie shooked her before she went too far in her head and cupped her cheeks to make Charlie look at her.

" Honey listen, none of this is your fault okay. You tried to help him. You really did. Things just didn't go as planned okay?" Vaggie embraced and held her close. "But it is her fault in a sense." Husk commented sounding cold and distant. "She wandered into a territory she didn't know about. She lived in hell all her fucking life. She should know how fucked up things can get here. " Charlie let out a another sob. You could feel the tension between the crew rising. Now, you began to wonder if it was a good idea to let them react in the first place...

"Husk if you don't shut the fuck-" " Vaggie please stop." Charlie held out a hand in front of Vaggie's face to stop her from talking. " Husk is right....I didn't understand. I was ...I was fool! " She clenched her fists and shut her eyes. "Charlie -" before Vaggie could say anything you put your hand above hers, moving your head.

You know Vaggie wanted to comfort Charlie badly. You did too. But she shouldn't baby her. Charlie had to learn from her mistakes. Her intention might have been good but she should have learnt when to stay away and when to give someone privacy. There are no excuses for that pain Angel went through for that.

After everyone was a bit settled down, you paused the episode in complete silence. You guys did have a rule, you couldn't go away until the episode was finished. You prayed things will change a bit for the better by then.

' What makes you think you can treat him like that? '

Seeing Angel get thrown onto bed harshly, it was enough to make Charlie go mad. She went into her demon mode. You were excited thinking finally she was about to kick Val's ass but..

' Charlie! Just stop. '

Oh no...angel... please no... please let her get angry.

' You actually wanna help me? Get the fuck outta here. Right now. And let me finish my work. '

That voice crack in Angel's voice there. It was certain that he was trying really hard to not break down in front of her. How long was this supposed to hurt you.

' And action. '

There was a song right after this happened ? Really?

' I'm not above love to cash in

Another lover underneath those flashing lights

Another one of those ruthless nights

Yeah yeah yeah '

Angel wiped his tears as he focused on the song. Listening to the lyrics with his heart.

' What's the worst part of this hell?

I can only blame myself '

That line, it was brutal. It shook you to the very core.

' 'Cause I know you're poison

You're feeding me poison

Addicted to this feelin'

I can't help swallow

Up your poison

I made my choice and

Every night I'm living like there's no

tomorrow. '

These lyrics actually said a lot about him. About his situation. How he knows what he does is destroying him from the inside yet he can't stop it, he's addicted to it. It hurt to look how happy he acted during the song, knowing how fake those were.

' My stories gonna end with me dead

from your poison '

Oh god no. You prayed this wasn't a prediction of what will happen in the future.

' I got so good at being untrue

I got so good at telling you

What you wanna hear

I disassociate, disappear '

Every bit of these lyrics felt like belts hitting you over and over again. You wanted to run to that room and check over Angel, right fucking now. But you knew if you did that, others will come following behind as well and it will only make things hard for Angel. Last thing you wanted to do right now was to make a mistake like Charlie and make things worse.

' Poison, I'm drownin' in poison

I'm fillin up my glass

But it's always hollow

Full of poison, I'm sick of the poison

Wish I had something to live for 

tomorrow '

Charlie hugged you as soon as the last line was over. Both Husk and Alastor had their ears pulled down. Husk felt a strange attachment to him. No matter how much he tried he couldn't shake it off. It's not like he was thinking Angels situation was any better than what he saw.  He knew more them well how bad being under a overlord can be. He was under one after all. He wanted to make him a drink and let him vent to him. It was a weird new feeling.

He never actually wanted that for anyone before. It always annoyed him how people would go on and on after being drunk. He didn't ask to be trauma dumped always . He had his own shit to handle. But right now, he wanted to be there for Angel, show him he wasn't alone. It was stupid. But, it wasn't so bad...He decided, after this was over. He'll go have a talk with him .

' Fukin' Christ. You can drop the act already. It's never gonna work on me. So all your doin' is makin' an ass outta yourself with this fake bullshit. '

' Call me fake one more time motherfucker. I dare you. '

' Fake. '

' Fucking asshole - '

So those little pink dots of his were actually eyes. You never knew that. You were started to sniff a bit quietly now.

' You know how much I'm worth? Haha..you know how many people would kill to have Angel dust come onto them? '

"Angel, he objectifies himself. " Vaggie whispered. "He finds his value in his much he's worth.." her somber voice said quietly. You also understood that. That manic looks in his eyes as he said that, oof...

Later Charlie and Vaggie made Husk go after Angel to make sure he was alright. "C'mon ...why can you guys just leave me alone for a bit.." Angel whispered in the other room, feeling another sense of dread. Was there going to be any end of that today? Why did it feel like this show was targeting him specifically.

Husk noticed one of the guys who was with Angel slip something into his drink. Before that prick could hand it to Angel, Husk shoved him off and dragged Angel out of the bar.

' You just let people drug you all the time? '

' You think I asked for it? '

Oh no, another fresh wave of tears was approaching. Fuck it all..fuck this shit. Husk please do something, anything.

' It's not an act! It's who I need to be. And this? This is my escape. Where I can forget about it all. And how much I hate.. everything. A place where I can get high, and not care about how much it hurts. And maybe if I can ruin myself enough in the process. If I end up broken, I won't be his favourite toy anymore. And maybe he'll let me go..'

You were sure that touched everyone's heart right now. Including Alastor's. The urge to just go and comfort him increased tenfold. "Angel...." You softly whispered.

' I was an overlord once you know...yeah.  And uh,it was nice to have that power. But when you're dealin' in souls, while also being a gambler. The stakes are pretty high.'

Husk was a...what? What's with this sudden lore drop.

' So when you're down in your luck, you turn to anything to keep you afloat. Even making deals yourself. '

It showed a bit of Husk losing to Alastor. So he lost to Alastor in a bet and then sold his soul to stay safe. His grumpy attitude towards Alastor made so much more sense now. Husk grumbled, he didn't want this part of his side shown so abruptly.

' So things look bad

And your back's against the wall '

Is Husk going to sing now to cheer him up? Aww... finally.

' You've lost your way

Ya think your life is wrecked

Well, let me just say,

You're..... correct. '

' Wait what? '

All of you had the same reaction. What the fuck? Wasn't Husk supposed to be comforting him? It did look like it was going that way in the beginning.

' You're a loser, baby,

a loser, goddamn baby

You're a fucked up little whiny bitch

You're a loser just like me. '

"Husk what the fuck are you singing?" Vaggie tried to argue but Husk shushed her. "Shut up, I know what I'm doing."

' But lettin' walls down

It can sometimes set you straight.

We're all living in

The same shit sandwich. '

You knew it. Husk was trying to comfort him in his own way. The song was everything you asked for without knowing.

' We're both losers

Baby we're losers

It's okay to be a. '

' Coked up dick suckin' ho? '

' Baby that's fine by me. '

You didn't miss the way Angel lit up when Husk said he didn't mind the way he was. That he accepted him. And Angel actually felt the same way in the other room. He had a small smile on his face as he cradled the phone close to his chest and watched. At least, he knew he wasn't alone.

' I got no holes left to deflower. '

' I sold my soul to save my power. '

You paused to read the signs a bit. You wondered what 'no balls' signs meant for Husk. He was a cat right. Was he...

' You're a loser, baby '

' A loser, but just maybe if we '

' Eat shit together

things will end up differently. '

You hoped for better future for these two. After this song, you definitely shipped them together. You wanted them to be there for each other and have each others back. The way the danced together was rather adorable as well. Husk knew just the way to cheer Angel up.

Before they could end the song peacefully, it was ruined by the people Husk rescued Angel from. You never saw Husk fight before so it was new seeing this side of him. He had explosive dices? That was cool.

' I told you, I can handle myself Baby. '

With that, Angel brought out all six of his arms and began shooting. You had to admit, that was really attractive of him.

' Cause this guy? Ain't half bad. '

Angel felt his heart pierce beside the other room as he looked at the screen.

' I'm so sorry Angel. I promise I won't ever ever ever ever- '

' Charlie, it's fine. I get it. Thanks for caring about me. '

Angel awkwardly petted Charlie's head as she was squeezing him in a hug. He didn't know how to deal with this situation well, with someone who actually cared, but he tried. Charlie started to cry both in and out the show. Angel picked her up like a cat and gave her to Vaggie.

' Hey, how about that drink? '

' You read my mind. '

And with that, the episode was finally over. As soon as it was, Charlie and you stood up at the same time to look for Angel. Angel slumped down beside Cherri. " What a episode huh? " He sounded rather weak. "Yeah...." Cherri whispered, holding him close now. Before Angel could reply, there were knocks on the door.

" Angel? It's me, (Y/n)... Is it okay I come in?"

Cherri was about to say no for Angel's sake. But Angel stopped her. "I got it toots." He knew he looked shitty. He wiped his eyes and took a few large breaths. He's got this. So what if they saw what happens, as long he can play it cool, it'll be fine.

" Y-yeah, I'm fine. I'll be back in a sec!"

Fuck, he didn't mean for his voice to break in the middle. Hearing that, both you and Charlie felt more helpless. Vaggie and others also followed you two soon. Pentious looked awkward as she rubbed his hands together.

"I...uh, well, tell that spider fellow, uh, Anthony, that if he needs any new gadgets any time. I'll be happy to help! Good night!"

Saying that, he poofed and turned into a snake and slithered away somewhere. Vaggie patted Charlie's head and held her close. Husk stood next to you with a huff. You understood he must be anxious for Angel too just as much as you were.

Husk was leaning on the door. So when Angel finally opened the door, He fell down on his ass with a thud. You were a bit spooked at the suddeness. "..fucking..." As Husk was opening his eyes again, Angel's laughing face came into his view. For a second, he thought he actually saw an angel.... It felt like the whole room's light fell on his face. Suddenly he couldn't handle looking at him as he looked forward.

" Ya okay there kitty cat? "

Angel's voice rang out as he crouched down beside him. "Yeah....but are you...?" He asked awkwardly. "Ye-uff" he got tackled in a bone crushing hug from Charlie crying. You soon joined her and hugged him while also crying. Angel felt trapped, being caged in a hug by two crying woman at once. " A little...help... please..?" He looked at Cherri who was looking at it with a smile.

" Nah, you got it covered." She said while messing up his hair and heading to the kitchen. Angel pouted as he looked at Vaggie. But she also followed Cherri making him sigh. He looked down at the girls. "I'm....okay...you can let go now."

" Angel I promise you when we get back, I'm going to get you out ! Any way possible! I'll talk with my father and-"

"Toots calm down-"

"Angel I promise, if Valentino ever comes here I'm going to squish him like the bug he is!"

"(Y/n) It really isn't necessary.

.

..

...

....

Actually no, do it."

Angel's eyes fell to Husk as he finally stood up and gave him a small smile and a nod. Angel knew how much meant. His smile beamed as well.

Alastor and Niffty were having tea in the kitchen when Angel was finally released from your grasp after a good while later. As soon as Angel stepped into the kitchen, Niffty scurried off from the table and grabbed some cupcakes she baked and practically shoved it in front of his face.

" Here! For you! "

" Uh, thanks Niff... "

" Why don't you join us Angel? Or should I say Anthony now?" Alastor said while sipping his tea. Oh right, his real name was revealed now. " Honestly, I don't mind either of em. Call me what you want, it ain't gonna change who I am. The sexiest motherfucker to ever exist. "

Alastor rolled his eyes at that but soon enough, they engaged in small talk. It was a rare sight to see them both talk so peacefully. But today's episode knocked the wind out of all of the crew. After everyone was fed, everyone proposed to give the single bed to Angel. "What? There's already too many of us. Where's Husk gonna sleep?"

"Eh, don't worry about it. I can turn into a cat and sleep in the corner."

"But-"

No amount of argument was able to sway you guys. All of you made sure he was fully fed till he couldn't anymore. Asked him if he was comfortable and pampered him however you could. He was peacefully tucked into the bed. Angel didn't have to lift a finger.

By 2 am. You all were fast asleep. Everyone slept in the same spot as last night and Husk slept in the corner of your pillow as a cat. It seemed like everything ended well, even after all the commotion.

.

.

.

.

The blue coloured animal was getting impatient and hungry in the pond. Oh so much hungry. There wasn't any fish or anything of the sort it could eat. It tried to go into the land, however it wasn't successful. While it was still able to breathe above water, it didn't necessarily have the limbs it needed to walk on land.

It was determined to catch the first prey it gets. Or it'll have to die starving in this strange world.

A.n: I'm shaking as I post this, lol. Please do remember that I tried my best to be as considerate as possible while writing this chapter. Of course you might think 'oh this character would react more differently ' and it may be true. But what I wrote is what I think they would react like. If you think they'd react differently then you're more then welcome to write about it yourself (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠)

Also another thing, For people who would like to visualise how Adrian looks, I imagine him to be a combination of Hinata from haikyuu and Childe from genshin impact.

I've been rereading the first few chapters of this book and god there are so many errors. I'll fix them soon but the main things will remain unchanged.

Hope I did a decent enough job in this chapter (⁠^⁠～⁠^⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ

Also Eid Mubarak to all my fellow Muslims out there!!

Tag list: @legostars @glowinthedarkbones1150 @darifes @aria-tempest @rainbowcake1212 @luxylucylou

[izvmimi]

malevolent enterprise ch. 4

cw: ceo!au. in which you, the reader, meet ceo itadori for the first time. reader wears a dress and heels. header by @/cafekitsune! masterlist

“A pleasure to meet you finally.”

Yuuji’s smile is wide and friendly as he rises out of his seat upon his interviewee’s entry. You, having just been led into his office by a rather flustered appearing secretary, the type that is doing her best but her best is at best subpar, are still trying to control your expression when you  meet face to face with him. You do your best to offer him a smile, taking advantage of your disarming features, and in a few measured steps, stride across the room to your seat, taking his hand in a gentle handshake before having a seat.

“Thank you for having me, sir.”

You smooth out the back of your skirt as you sit, thanking the heavens that you haven’t had some mishap with your pantyhose, as is the tendency. You usually prefer a pantsuit, but you’ve been told that Itadori Enterprises is on the conservative side, so you’re clad in the only suit-skirt combo you own paired with sensible pumps instead of loafers, hoping that you make it through the day without mishap. The young man in front of you does not appear very conservative, you think, and in fact something about his relatively cheerful expression and pink hair gives him an air of childishness. Keeping your own countenance just shy of neutral yet warm, you focus your eyes on him. 

“I’m happy you were willing to interview me this early. I was very excited to see that you reached out for an interview in less than 48 hours of my application, and I would like you to know that I’d be honored to be considered for such a coveted position.” You begin.

Yuuji nods, but says nothing else. He appears to be studying you, which is surprising but preferred to the outright ogle that you’ve had in your past couple of interviews this week, so rather than dwell on it, you consider an opportunity to continue speaking. 

“As mentioned in my cover letter and resume, I’ve had years of experience at Gojo Corp., and while I’ve left amicably in search of other opportunities, I am very capable of transferring valuable skills learned there to your organization,” you finish. He’s let you speak for long enough, and asked you very few questions, and you decide you  might as well end your monologue strong and hope for the best. 

Amicable is somewhat of a stretch, but you continue to say it without hesitation. What really happened is you’d slapped a resignation letter on your desk after weeks of responsibilities being heaped onto you at increasing intervals, in the midst of increasingly long vacations from your womanizing boss and more and more casually disrespectful speech. Satoru, for some reason, had decided that you were the one to play games with somewhere in the last three to six months of your tenure, and you frankly had run out of the coins to continue. When you’d finally quit, Satoru had nothing to say but finally, and before you could really take your time and lay into him, threatening a workplace harassment lawsuit, he’d clapped his hands together, thanked you for your time, and told you he was hoping you’d finally know your worth. 

Leave, he asked, a glint in his eye. You genuinely deserve better than to be here, working with a peon like me. 

The sarcasm stung until you realized he wasn’t being sarcastic in the way you expected. Gojo offered you enough severance pay to last you practically a year, knowing it was far from enough for what you've done for him. 

I think you undervalue yourself, he said, an unsolicited piece of advice included with the hefty sum of money stuffed into a neat envelope. You never asked for a promotion, and took more and more work, to the point that you might as well have been running this place on your own, doing the job of ten people.

Angrily, you reminded him that he could have just treated you like a human being and you’d never have resorted to resignation, but he laughed, swinging his legs on the desk and leaning back into his chair, head resting on his palms.

You wouldn’t have been forced to know your worth, he’d said.

You didn’t like this type of support, but here you were, being considered for an executive position, something you would have never considered a year ago.

And this wasn’t the only one. 

“From what I’ve seen of your application, you are absolutely impressive. I’m surprised Mr. Gojo had you doing middle management for so long.”

You resist the urge to make the joke, “you and me both,” but Yuuji seems to pause to expect it as though he is reading your thoughts. Instead you smile, and look down at your open portfolio. Then you look up and see that his mouth seems to have opened slightly in a small ‘o’ as though he’s surprised in anticipation of what you’ll say before you say it. 

“I absolutely have the skills to be an executive at this company. I understand if you’d prefer someone internal and appreciate the opportunity to be considered. If I must be so bold, I would like to share that I already have been offered a similar position at another company, but I’m very particular to your company’s mission, and would much prefer to be here.”

Yuuji perks up in a way that makes you practically imagine dog ears on his person. He’s far too… cute, wet around the ears appearing to be in this sort of position, you think for a moment. Too easy to read. Too sincere.

“Where?” he asks, eyebrow raised. His light brown eyes seem to betray a premonition of the answer. You wonder if the brothers talk - you had spent enough time searching for any backstory to supplant what you’ve heard through the grapevine about the corporation’s split, but often financial matters and family matters do not completely align. You have heard that the two are not fond of each other, and that simple knowledge encourages you to move things in your favor.

“Ryomen Industries.”

Yuuji frowns. He pauses and mulls over this information and for a moment you wonder if you’ve overstepped, shifting in your chair and masking your discomfort with a quick cross of the legs, and folding your hands in your lap to prevent yourself from looking seductive. Yuuji however is not looking at you, his chin pressed to his fist suddenly as he thinks, staring at a fixed point at the wall, slightly off from you.

Then his eyes snap back towards you.

“Whatever they’ve offered you, I can offer you double or triple.”

Your eyes grow wide.

Unable to help it, the first thought that crosses your mind is No way he knows what he’s doing.

To quell your disbelief, you let your lips curl into a smile.

“Forgive my candor, but are you simply that impressed by me or do you simply refuse to lose?”

Yuuji blinks, taken aback by your speech, but you’ve realized by now that Yuuji has already hired you in your mind. You are not at any risk. 

“Don’t mind that.” Yuuji smiles, this time the corners not reaching his eyes to the same extent, and he takes your portfolio. 

“Are you willing to start tomorrow?” he asks. He clears his throat, and you know it to mean that the current subject has been tabled for later.

“Yes.”

Yuuji rises, and you rise as well. He rounds the desk to meet you, and now that he’s closer, you take a better, more focused look at him. Sweet-faced but quite handsome, you admit, with broad shoulders, and you spot a wrinkle in his suit that you’d consider smoothing out if you weren’t a stranger. His walk is more confident than it should be for a man you feel like you just conned. Something about all of this is far too easy, you think. You are suspicious.

Yuuji leads you out, walking a bit too quickly ahead of you, and while you keep up for the most part, you find yourself staring at the back of his head, then your eyes travel further to his backside, admiring the cut of his suit, the shine in his shoes. He’s tall, and he speaks softly to the confused secretary, reminding her to do her job and make sure to send you an email of your formal contract. He takes you on a very brief tour of the building, talking animatedly as you take the elevator with him. He smiles far too easily, too much, and the middle managers speak to him casually. You’re not sure if you like that. 

He introduces you by your new title and you bow. They will not speak to you casually, is your first thought. At least, not at first.

You make a circle with him, and he shows you your supposed office. It’s a 2 minute walk from his, and appears similar, just slightly smaller, with one armchair placed in the corner, instead of a small sofa. It’s bare, and does not have your name on the plate on the door or on the desk. Somehow that is reassuring.

“Please let me know if the specifications are alright,” he asks.

That’s not his job, that’s his secretary or assistant’s job, you say in your head, but offer him a polite nod. He offers you another handshake.

“Glad to have you on our team.”

You haven’t signed the contract yet but he’s so earnest, you find yourself saying,

“Thank you for having me. I’m excited to work with you, Mr. Itadori.”

[biglittleluobo]

萝卜's Beginner Guide to Sichuanese!

大家好！

Welcome to the first in an unofficial series of posts where I will share the (very large) amount of new vocab, cultural experiences, and topics that I was introduced to while spending ~5 weeks in China!

Today’s topic is: Sichuanese! 🌶️🌶️🌶️

I won’t pretend to be an expert in Sichuanese (yet, please chime in / add here if you are!), but I spent >50% of my time in the province while abroad which gave me lots of exposure. It certainly took me by surprise at the beginning! After about two weeks I started to get a better feel for it. Here’s some tips and vocab for getting started:

1. Get ready to hear 得 (“dei” pronunciation) just about everywhere, this is an essential character thrown around constantly. Most common are these three words:

要得 (yǎodei) – yes, good

没得 (módei) – no

晓得 (xiǎodei) – understand, aka 明白

Sometimes it also just randomly appears, for example 得行 (deixíng) has the exact same meaning as 行 (fine, okay)! You just gotta expect it.

2. The majority of Sichuanese people do not pronounce the “h” in sounds like “ch”, “sh”, “zh”. This makes it very tricky for a student (like me!) who still internally looks up lots of words, so any “s-” word could be a word that starts with “sh-” OR a word that just starts with “s-”. Some examples:

橙汁 (chéngzhī) as "cengzi"

这儿 (zhè’er) as “zer”

什么时候 (shénme shíhou) as “sazisihou”

��不是 (shìbùshì) as “sib’si” (with the u sound in “bu” typically omitted)

3. The “an” sound is pronounced as in the English word “can” (as opposed to the usual pronunciation which is a bit more like the “awn” sound in “yawn”). Combined with (2), this has the very cute effect of turning 吃饭 (chīfàn) into something more like “cifaan”, and is something you should expect to hear a lot in a province like Sichuan! Just be aware that this applies to every “an”-suffixed word and can sometimes totally change how you hear it. In many ways I feel like this feature makes it sound a bit reminiscent of American southern dialects.

4. There are a few other Sichuanese alternative pronunciations to be aware of:

“Hu” is often pronounced as “fu”, leading 护照 (hùzhào) to sound like “fuzao”, or 西湖 (Xīhú) as “xifu”

“R” sounds can sometimes be pronounced with a “y”, e.g. 容 (róng) as “yong”

Most tricky is that the flat 1st tone is very rare, and many characters simply have different tones than “Standard” Mandarin. As far as I can tell (and have read online), there isn’t really a systematic adjustment for this, it’s just how it is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

5. Surprisingly, though Sichuan is a southern province, there are tons of erhua around! At least here, it seems like the 儿 ends up quite merged with the original word. Some examples I heard:

米粉 (mǐfěn) as “mifer” (extremely delicious breakfast option!)

老板 (lǎobǎn) as “laober”

没得 (módei) as “moder” (apparently extremely rarely heard though)

豆花 (dòuhuā) as “douhua’er” (quite common in northern Mandarin as well)

熊猫 (xióngmāo) as “xiongmer”

And finally, a few more Sichuanese specialties!

好(多)钱 - how much does it cost, aka 多少钱 (the 多 is sometimes omitted in quick speech)

啥子 (sázi) – what, based on the casual substitute word 啥 for 什么 (also often pronounced as sáza)

闹热 (nàorè) – lively, as opposed to the usual 热闹

可以 (kěyǐ), pronounced as as “kǒyǐ”

冒菜 (màocài) – a local variant of malatang (麻辣烫）

抄手 (chāoshǒu) – (v) to fold arms up the sleeves; (四川) wonton, dumpling

稀饭 (xīfàn) – congee, 粥, literally "thin rice"

干饭 (gānfàn) – regular rice, 米饭, "dry rice" to distinguish from 稀饭

嘛 (ma) - often heard at the end of sentences, just a local sound! Not (as I understand it) generally associated with some of its other meanings (like impatience, stating the obvious, etc)

See you next time. 下次见！

[oval3000]

"Hello" ch. 2

Simon Riley x Reader

Not my art! Not my characters!

After defeating Makorav, Simon went back home to enjoy his night rest. The next day he heard noises outside his apartment. When he went to see who was making those noises, by peaking through the eye hole on his door, he saw you. He never thought you would change his life forever.

!WARNING ⚠️ Terrible grammer, past abuse, abuse, ptsd, trauma, swearing, Obsession, Possessive, death,boring story. Different story plot then the game (Makorav dead)

New to this wanted to try it out. Maybe making it to a series idk .

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

A few weeks has past since then. You were able to get everything settled in. You still felt bad about Simon helping you, especially when your new bed arrived. It wasn't your fault though. Simon peaked through when he heard noises of two men carrying a big box to your apartment. He saw how you thanked them. When you gave them the same treatment you did to him, it pissed him off. Now, he didn't know why, but he knew that they didn't deserve your 'Thank yous' they were just doing their job. So when they left he went in saying that he heard a ruckus and wanted to help, not because he was watching you through his peak hole

You made a batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies. As you placed them on the cooling rack you took out a cute treat bag and a twist tie. You grabbed a gift box from the store plastic bag aswell as other things like snacks and an assortment of good teas that your heard were good, the price really showed it. You didn't care, you really wanted to show him gratitude. You placed everything perfect. You carefully placed half of the batch of the cooled chocolate chip cookies into the cute treat bag. Carefully placing it in the center of the box along with a handwritten note you did on top. You placed on the lid and grabbed a piece of ribbon that matches the box perfectly.

Some say this is extreme and unnecessary, but you really didn't want to feel like a burden especially being new to the building. The last thing you want to cause any problems in your new home.

You took the box and walked in front of Simon's door. You knocked on the door three times while holding the gift box. You were nervous, don't know why, but you were. Your overthoughts were taking over you. It made you think on how you can just turn around and walk away.

However, those thoughts disappeared when you heard the door knob giggle and Simon opened the door. He knew it was you.

He was ready with whatever help you needed, he didn't even noticed the box as he was too busy staring at your eyes.

"I just wanted to say thank you for helping me move in and for building my bed, so please take this as a gift as my gratitude." You handed him the gift box as he looked at you.

"You really didn't have to. It was nice to help" Simon looked at you with a humble look on his face. As for how he feels on the inside, seeing you standing in front of him with a gift just for him.

"I know, I just really wanted to do it." You gave him one the most sweetest smiles.

He reached out with hands as he grabbed the box. You felt his fingers glazing over yours. You felt heat rising in your cheeks. You looked up as he stared you down with a smirk on his face. "Thank you, love"

He saw as you walked away and closed the door. He carefully shut his door, ignoring the locks. Why would he lock his door when an angel moved accross from his place?

He places the gift box on the counter and undid the ribbon. He took of the lid and saw all the things you put in it. He first took the note out and read. His fingers glanced on the cute little drawing you did of a smiley face.

He placed the note down as he took the bag of cookies out. He read the little gift tag 'homemade chocolate chip cookies'. He opened the bag and took a bite of the cookie. He tasted it and it was delicious. Was it delicious? Was he just hungry? Or maybe...just maybe. He found it delicious?

He didn't want to eat the rest in one go. His excuse was simple 'don't want to gain weight' even thought he himself knows he can burn off whatever fat he would gain if he did. He placed the bag of cookies down and admired the rest of the items you gave him. One in particular were the asserment of teas. He knows that brand. Everyone in town knows that brand. The most popular well known brand of good tea and more on the pricy side. He felt spoiled. Never in his life has he felt spoiled.

Feeling things he never felt before. Satisfaction. You gave him so much satisfaction for only knowing him for a month . This emotion felt so good. He wanted more.

Now he isn't selfish. He knows you deserve to be satisfied as well. He just needs to find the right time.

He needs more time with you. He placed the cookies you made him into a little air tight containers, placing it in the center of his kitchen island. He made his way towards his peak hole just to check, simple as that.

He grabbed his laundry basket from his room and made his way towards the laundry room on the down label ground. When he got there, only a few people were there. Some already left while two men still stayed behind. He was never close with anyone in the building, how could he when he's busy serving his country, so his interactions with others were limited. After all he has someone he could spend his energy for.

He shoved his dirty clothes into the washer and poured in the detergent. He wanted to leave and come back, but he knew people like the two men who remained there would do something stupid like throwing his wet clothes on the floor, so he waited patiently.

He could hear the two, young, looking men laughing like hyenas. "Shit men. It wouldn't fucking hurt to get a women doing this shit for us," one of the guys said with a smug look on his face.

Simon didn't bother turning his head, only giving a side eye."you know non of these old fucking hags would do the work" another said has he shook his head.

"But that girl that lives on the fifth floor." Simon felt body tense up as he stood still for a second.

"Lucky bastard, I didn't get to see her" the guy sad, throwing his drench clothes in the dryer.

"I only got to see when we shared an elevator together." The other guy said, tormenting his friend on the sign of seeing a young, beautiful, woman like you.

He leaned in closer to his friend, "how was she?" He looked back to see Simon still standing infront of the washing machine with his hands resting on top.

"If I was there with her for another second I would've bended her over and-" There conversation were quickly interrupted by a loud banging sound. When they turned around they saw Simon with his hand on the lid of the washer, yanking his clothes and throwing them into the dryer.

"You alright there, mate?"

"Say, don't you live on the fifth floor? Do you know that beautiful doll that lives there?"

Simon turned around to fully face them. He saw the way they stood and the look on their faces. It reminded him of the men he would see when his father would take him to those weird shady places."It's non of your concern or your business where someone lives."

One of the guy who has dark brown long curly hair looked at his friend who made that comment about the elevator. He saw the way Simon stared at him. He knew those looks, afterall, he was given those looks when he didn't have the money he owed to some drug dealers. He felt his throat dried up as he took a gulp of whatever was left in his mouth. "Whatever, mate"

His friend, who still had a smug look on his face, still proud for what he said looked at him with a confused look. "The fuck do you mean 'whatever' we fucking live here. Don't we have the right to know who else lives here too?" He looked at back at Simon, who never broke his eye contact. "It's a simple bloody fucking question."

Simon turned his eyes towards the guy with the curly hair. He felt as if he was in the dark alley getting his ass beaten up for not being the right amount of money to his drug dealer. Coming home with bruises on his torso, a broken nose, a busted lip, and an ankle that could barley hold his body weight. "C'mon man, let's just leave."

He tugged the arm of his friend trying to get his attention. "Whatever, I guess. Couldn't be to fucking friendly."

Simon watched as the two guys left. He felt the nails of his finger slowing releasing from his palm, which left in marks of his fingernails from how tight he had his fist. He looked at it, sighing at how they got a reaction out of him.

'Bloody fucking hell'

Did he felt weak when two pathetic loosers made him react this way? Yes. Did he know he was feeling this way? No. Was he proud of it? Debatable. Did he feel good? I mean, he did it to protect you. A delicate soul like you shouldn't be going through this.

His mind and thought weren't coherent. His body was moving while his mind was telling to stop and go home. But like before, you could never be too careful, especially someone like you.

You heard a knock on your door. When opened it, Simon rested his head on his arm, which was resting on your doorframe. He looked up and immediately straighten himself back up. "Simon? What's up?"

You look down and saw a white, plastic, shopping bag in his hand, "I got something for you. Don't worry, it's more for your safety."

He pulled out a box that had a picture of a camera. "A camera?" You looked at him with a concerned look. Were you in danger?

"Their security cameras. Just in case. I heard there's a creep out there so I figured a camera will do for you. That way you can see if anybody tries to break in or so. I'll set it up for you."

"..uh...thank you, Simon. But are you sure it's necessary?" You honestly didn't think a camera is what you needed when you moved into your new place. However, when it comes from your neighbor who has been nothing, but helpful during your entire change of environment, you think to yourself that maybe having some cameras around won't be too bad.

"Trust me. It will help you."

"Okay then. Thank you, Simon"

"No problem, love."

[spacetimeaccordionfolder]

Quick thought- Terran says they've been in Argist since Pendulum's Swing, which begins the sixth month of the year and honors the god of Justice. Considering Erin didn't know Terran had gone on a trip for the academy, I'm guessing Terran was still there when Erin left for his voyage into the storm. So Erin leaves sometime during the fifth month, but it is now during or past the sixth month. I don't think we know how long it took for Erin to get to the storm, but it's probably been at least two-three weeks since the storm disappeared (as Kendal was 11 days old before Zuurith, having spent the first 4 days either trying to get to Vash or walking to Windcrest- so 9 days since the storm in ch 11- and then probably a few days getting to Zuurith, a few days there, and then a few days getting to Argist). So if it's still the sixth month, it's towards the end. The seventh month opens with a festival dedicated to the sun and during which people celebrate by eating cakes shaped like the sun. Either it's already the 7th month and the festival went by without a hitch or we have the festival coming up. If it's still the 6th month- then the folks dealt with Zuurith during the month dedicated to justice.

[spaceyaceface]

Fear - Safety Ch 4

Ominis Gaunt x f!Ravenclaw!Reader (Reader is not MC)

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: Emotional abuse, physical abuse (implied)

Summary: Y/N L/N had always despised Ominis Gaunt. He was everything she hated about her life. As the only daughter to a wealthy pure-blood family, she knew it was inevitable that she would someday find herself in an arranged marriage.

But why did it have to be him?

Or, a classic arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, slow burn.

Also available on AO3

Chapter One | Chapter Three

She was now much more aware of Ominis Gaunt than she would like to admit. 

Each time she thought about their unfortunate situation (which was more often than she liked) her eyes would drift over to him, and she had to hold in a small sigh. Constance, the ever observant friend she was, had started to notice some of her strange silences and far off looks. 

“Really, what’s gotten into you?” Constance asked her as they walked between classes. Y/N had just spent the majority of History of Magic looking at Gaunt, and it seemed that Constance had seen it. “Are you still mad at him? Blimey, it’s been a good couple weeks now.” 

She sighed. “No, I just… my parents have been putting a lot of pressure on me lately. That’s all.” 

“Pressure for what? Your grades are already perfect.” 

She frowned. “They’re getting worse. It’s more than grades now. It’s… my future.” 

Constance gave an unpleased hum. “They should be delighted you want a job in the Ministry. You’ll be perfect at it. And it’s a position of power.”

“But I’m their daughter, not their son,” she reminded her. “If I was, they’d be more than happy to see me with a successful career. But as it stands, all they want is for me to marry well and have some perfect pureblooded heirs for them to put in their will.” 

“Ridiculous,” Constance said. “They want you to marry someone like Gaunt? Is that it?”

Her heart raced. She’d practically stumbled upon the truth. But before she could answer, her friend continued. 

“You can just run off if they tell you to do something like that. They can’t make you.” 

How she wished Constance was right. 

As much as Y/N hated to admit it, there had always been little she could do outside of her parent’s control. Here at Hogwarts was the most freedom she’d ever tasted—while not under her father’s scrutiny she could do pretty much as she pleased. It had given Constance the impression that while her parents were awful and intimidating, she could still stand up to them and get away with it. The reality was anything but. Every move she took leading up to this point was a risk, perfectly calculated to save herself from suffering. But they’d finally backed her into a corner. 

With her family’s wealth and influence, they could make her do whatever they wanted. And in this case, it was her inevitable marriage. 

It didn’t mean she wasn’t still fighting—no, in the past few days she’d taken what she considered were some of the biggest risks in her life. The letters she’d sent to her parents were hardly more than a refusal to cooperate—she’d tried reasoning with them, bargaining to wait a few more years, anything she could think of in her previous letters, but to no avail. She’d decided that maybe putting her foot down would be the only way to get anywhere this time. She hadn’t heard back from them yet—and if she was honest, she was terrified to see their response. 

But she just shrugged her shoulders at Constance’s words, carrying on. “I’m not the only one in a bad mood. Andrew seemed really displeased this morning.” She smirked at her friend beside her. “Were you really that dismal at practice last night?” 

Thankfully, Constance took the bait and went off on a tirade about the Quidditch team, complaining about the schedule not having enough time to practice properly and about the new Seeker Andrew had picked for the team (“He’s a third year! He can catch things just fine with two feet on the ground, but put him up in the air and he’s abysmal.”) 

Y/N happily got lost in her friend’s complaining, offering her own thoughts as she went on. It was enough to take them to their last class, and they then picked up the conversation right where they left it after. But soon, even Constance had had enough of her own opinions (which was saying something) and they shifted to schoolwork and professors. 

She hadn’t realized how little she’d thought about her problems until a young student came rushing up to her. He was a small Ravenclaw boy, he couldn’t be older than a first or second year. He was wringing his hands together when he approached. 

“Are you Y/N L/N?” he asked. She frowned. 

“I am.” 

“Headmaster Black told me you need to go to his office.” 

Her stomach sank. No wonder the poor kid was terrified—any sensible child  would be after a moment’s conversation with Black. But why was she being summoned? She shot a glance at Constance, who furrowed her brow. She looked back at the young boy in front of her and sighed. “Well, I’ll be off then. Thanks for sharing the message.” 

He ran off as soon as she thanked him. Constance spoke up beside her. “Do you want me to come—“ 

“No,” she said quickly. “No, I should be fine. I’ll meet you at dinner.” 

Anticipation burned in her stomach as she left Constance, heading up the Grand Staircase to go to the Headmaster’s office. There were very few reasons she could think of for being summoned there. When she reached the door, she took a deep breath and knocked. 

The door was opened by Professor Black himself. “Ah,” he said, his nasally voice grating against her ears. “Miss L/N. Come inside.”

Her worst fears were confirmed when she looked past him, and there, standing beside Professor Black’s desk, were her parents. 

She felt her body tense immediately as the door closed behind her. It was like a switch had been flipped—no longer was she the bold and clever Ravenclaw girl who strode fearlessly through the halls of Hogwarts. In an instant, she was nothing but the quiet, obedient daughter her father demanded she be. 

Even after all this time, she wasn’t sure which version of herself was the real one. 

Her father’s glare bore into her. The harsh lines of his face, permanently pulled into a deep frown, stood out in the shadows of the room. Her mother stared absently at the floor from his side, as if nothing but a shell. With the slightest movement of his hand, her father beckoned her to come closer to them. Her feet obeyed without a single thought. 

Her father broke his eye contact with her to look at Professor Black. “Thank you, Phineas,” he said. His tone held no warmth in it. “If we could use your office to speak with her for a moment, it would be much appreciated.” 

Professor Black nodded, walking to the door of the room conjoined to his office. “Of course,” he said smoothly. My heart beat more rapidly at the thought of being alone with them. How pitiful that she would take even Phineas Black as company when it came to them. But he was gone, the sound of the door closing seeming to echo in her head. Her eyes fell to the floor, trying to take deep breaths. 

“Look at me, girl.” It took a couple minutes of convincing herself before she was able to meet his stare. He walked closer to her, the menacing sound of his steps falling harsh on her ears. “We got your blasted letters,” he said quietly. “And we’ve come to make sure they stop.” 

She willed herself to stand firm, staring up at him. “I’m sorry I sent the letters,” she said softly. “I would have preferred to discuss the… the situation in person.” 

There was that slight twitch of his upper lip—the one that meant he was close to boiling over. “There is nothing to discuss,” he hissed. 

Her eyes darted briefly to her mother, who seemed wholly unaware of the conversation, staring blankly at the wall opposite her. Her idleness always stung. She looked back at her father. “If I could have just a couple of years,” she started quietly. “I could start a career, bring honor to our—”

He let out a cruel humorless laugh. “You ruined this family’s chance of honor the day you were born,” he said. It wasn’t like she hadn’t had the words before. She should have been numb to them by now—but they still cut deep, reminding her that she had been despised the moment she came into this world. “I have found a way you can still provide some worth, and yet you do nothing but argue against it.”

Her mouth went dry. “I… I wasn’t trying to argue, I’m sorry, Father, I just—”

He took another step forward, his hand darting out to grasp her forearm, fingers digging into her flesh. She resisted the urge to step away and tear herself out of his grip, but couldn’t help but the small gasp that escaped her. His fingertips were only separated from her scarred skin by the fabric of her shirt, and she was sure he had grabbed her there as a reminder of what he was capable of. 

His voice came out as a low growl. “There will be no more arguing. There will be no more letters. Do you understand me?” 

She could hardly breath, struggling to form the words. 

“Do you understand me?”

“Yes,” she said quickly. “Yes, I understand, Father.” 

He let go of her wrist just as quickly as he had grabbed it, and she took a step back, looking away from his horrid eyes. “Good,” he said in a low voice. “Now say goodbye to your mother and get out.” 

She stepped carefully around him, toward the woman who had stood so still during the whole encounter. She stopped only a step away. “Goodbye, Mother. I’ll… I’ll see you soon.”

Her mother made the first movement she’d seen since she’d arrived there, stretching out her hand to take Y/N’s in a weak grasp. “Goodbye, dear.” 

She turned to leave before she lost control of her breathing. But a voice called out from behind her, making her freeze with her hand outstretched for the door handle. 

“And girl,” her father said. “Don’t think your silly fight with the Gaunt boy didn’t reach us. If I hear of anything more like that…” 

“You won’t,” she breathed. “I promise.” 

She left before he had the chance to say anything more. The door slammed behind her in her haste to get away, but her head was too blurred with frustration to think of the consequences of that action. She tried to focus on nothing but placing one foot in front of the other, knowing each step would take her away from that horrible man. Away from those awful memories. She didn’t even know where she was going—but it didn’t matter. 

She knew she couldn’t go to dinner in a state like this. Her breathing was still coming short and ragged, and she knew her hands were shaking in both fear and anger. So she settled instead on tucking herself into a window nook in an empty hall, burying her head in her knees and letting tears slip silently down her face. 

It should have been clear something like that was coming. She had to have known it all along—just hoping that for once, her father would listen to her. That perhaps, her mother would stand up for her only child, instead of letting harsh words and actions carry on without a care. 

Her hand began to subconsciously trace over her left wrist—the one her father had held. Surely his tight grasp would leave bruises, pairing well with the scar he had left there years before. She knew her father’s threats were never empty. He’d proved it in the past. 

She hadn’t realized how long she had stayed there until she heard the echo of footsteps begin down the hall. Dinner must have ended—students would be going back to their common rooms shortly, and she didn’t want to be seen in the midst of them. Leaping to her feet, she retreated down the hall, away from the sound of approaching voices. She knew the Defense Against the Dark Arts tower would be quiet at this time of night, so she set her course for there, hoping silently that she wouldn’t come across anyone on the way. 

Her hope seemed to be in good faith. She was soon in the lowest floor of the tower without a person in sit. Sighing, she laid her back against one of the marble walls before sinking to the ground. 

She wasn’t crying anymore. The tears had settled, and she instead felt numb. She refused to think back on the tone of her father’s voice, the cruel words and actions, and focused on what she would tell Constance had happened when she got back to the common room. 

Her concentration on the matter was so deep she almost missed the sound of footsteps echoing through the otherwise silent halls. She stood up quickly, eyes darting around to find the source. Her eyes caught the subtle red glow of a wand, and she realized quickly who was holding it. 

A sigh of relief escaped her lips. Funny, how not long before he would have been the last person she would want to see in a weak moment. Now, the sight of him made her feel a strange sense of comfort. He was the only person who could even begin to understand some of the pain of her life. 

His head tilted as he heard her stand. “Hello?” he called out. She debated staying silent for a moment, but he was already walking toward her. He would recognize who she was soon enough. 

“Hello, it’s just me,” she said back, cursing herself at the slight crack in her voice. 

Ominis frowned, making his way toward her. “What are you doing here? You weren’t at dinner.” 

“No I wasn’t,” she admitted. “But how do you know that?” 

“Constance isn’t exactly quiet, is she?” He smiled slightly. “She was asking everyone around if they had seen you.”  

She couldn’t help but chuckle at that, but it still sounded rather hollow. Ominis seemed to notice the tone. “Are you alright?” he asked softly, standing just before her. 

His soft words were enough to have her blinking back tears, and she cleared her throat. “I’m fine,” she said. “I just… didn’t want to be around anyone for a while.”

“Should I…”

“No,” she said quickly, shocked at how quickly the word left her. She spoke again, taking a breath to calm herself. “No, I think it would be better if… if I were with someone.” 

Ominis hummed, seeming to understand, despite being given so little to go off of. “I’ll stay, then,” he said decisively. “Though perhaps here isn’t the best place.” He pressed his lips together, seeming to think something over. His next words came out slowly. “I… I know a place near here. We wouldn’t get caught staying out past curfew there.” 

She thought for a moment. “Alright,” she said. “Sounds better than detention.” 

He chuckled lightly. “Follow me. It’s not far.” 

She let him lead her down the hall a bit, turning a corner where a strange cabinet stood. He seemed to hesitate a moment. “You won’t tell anyone about this place, will you?” 

“No,” she said. “If you’re willing to show me your hiding spot, the least I can do is keep it a secret.” 

He nodded, encouraged by her words. Dials on the cabinet began to spin and whirl, and after a moment, a door swung open. Her eyes widened as he stepped inside and into a hidden room. She stood still for a moment before he called out to her. “Come on.” 

She followed him, walking down a set of stone stairs as the door closed behind her. Ahead of them, the stairway opened up into a large room. 

“What is this place?” she asked. 

“The Undercroft,” Ominis answered. “A Gaunt family secret. One of many.” 

She looked around the room, admiring it. It was old and dusty—it sure didn’t scream of comfort. But It was incredible nonetheless, seeing as she had to be one of the few people to have ever laid eyes on it. “Amazing,” she breathed. “Who else knows about it.”

“All of my family, of course,” Ominis said, leaning against one of the walls and folding his arms. “Sebastian and Anne. And now you.” 

“Sounds pretty exclusive.” 

“It is.” 

She chuckled. “It’s always been here, then?” 

“Since Hogwarts was built,” Ominis confirmed. “Salazar Slytherin left many secrets for his descendants, including this one. This is probably the only one I’m fond of.” 

“You come here often, then?” 

“Why do you think I was doing in the Defense Against the Dark Arts tower in the first place?” he said, smiling a bit. “The three of us have used this place a lot over the years. Sebastian usually uses it to practice spells not on the curriculum, but I use it as a bit of an escape, I suppose.” 

She hummed. “I’m grateful you showed me. It’s nice.” She came up beside him before sitting down on the floor, leaning her back against the wall. 

After a moment of silence, Ominis slid down the wall, sitting with her. “Do you want to know another Gaunt family secret?”

Curiosity bubbled up in her chest. “If you’re willing to share.” 

“More than willing. In fact, I think you have a bit of a right to know, seeing as it’s part of the reason you’re so miserable. It’s the most well-kept secret of them all.” Her brows furrowed as a rueful smile stretched across his lips. “We’re very nearly destitute.”

Her mouth fell open. “You… what? How is that—” 

“My family has always lived lavishly. It’s practically a tradition, one that goes back to Salazar himself. Each generation has spent more and more to live larger than the one before, all while the fortune has withered away.” 

“And your parents have told you you have nothing to inherit?” she asked. 

He scoffed. “Of course not. They’d be admitting their loss. They haven’t told me anything. But you can’t hide letting go of staff and house elves, or selling heirlooms I was raised to all but worship.” 

Then it clicked. “That’s why they’re having us marry.” 

“Precisely.” 

“I’m the last heir to my family’s entire fortune. The moment you marry me, they’ll expect us to take care of them,” she said bitterly. “And my parents get exactly what they want, too. To leave me with a name they view as worth having.”

“It’s quite the perfect arrangement, really,” Ominis said. “We get your money. You get our legacy.”

She laughed without an ounce of humor. “God,” she said softly. “We really do make a miserable pair, don’t we?” 

Ominis’s silence was answer enough to that. The sit like that for several long moments before she felt him tense up beside her. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” he started. “But… why weren’t you at dinner?”

She sighed heavily. “My parents came to… visit me,” she said softly. “They um… my father was tired of all the letter’s I’d sent. He told me I had to stop arguing with him.” 

“Your father isn’t a good man, is he?” Ominis said softly, voice just above a whisper. 

Silence. 

“My family is much the same,” he admitted. “You already knew that. But it’s not just Muggles who get a taste of their fury.” 

She looked over at him, studying the hard expression on his face. It felt like gazing into a mirror. She recognized those kinds of walls, knew exactly how carefully they’d been built. There was a profound sense of comfort in feeling that level of understanding. They didn’t need to get into specifics. They didn’t need to lay it out. It was there, despite all that, in the way they each guarded themselves so carefully. 

Her knees pulled up to her chest. “Why do you let people assume the worst of you, Ominis?” 

He shrugged a bit. “I have enough to worry about as is. The opinions of my peers pale in comparison, I suppose. I cared what they thought of me at first, but I grew tired when I realized most people would choose to see me how they wanted no matter what I did.” 

She sighed. “I’m sorry to say I was one of them.” 

She didn’t miss the slight smile that spread across his face. “Was, you say?” 

“Yes, was.” She shifted, holding herself up straighter. “To think all this time I’ve gone on hating you, when I could have considered you a friend.”

He was quiet for a moment. “Would you consider me that now?” 

She thought about it. “Yes. I would consider you a good friend, Ominis.” 

Maybe she was reading too much into it, but he seemed happy with her words. He got to his feet, smiling lightly. “Well then, friend, I’ll let you have some quiet.” he said. He pulled out his wand, walking toward the exit. “I recommend using the Disillusionment charm on your way back.”

He left her alone, but she felt so much lighter than she had before. 

-

Chapter Five

Not entirely happy with this chapter, but I'm glad I at least got through my writer's block. I hope you enjoyed!

TAGLIST:

@skarathewitch @cherryflavoredcoke @phoenix666stuff @wt-fxck @shameless0shenanigans @fitzs-trained-monkey

[bleachification]

in reverence - dazai

+ dazai x reader (fantasy au)

+ chapter THREE of all that glitters is not gold (prologue please read this first!!) is here :*

ch. one: dissonance; ch. two: trojan horse (also read these before)

next chapter (4): a painting’s ire

+ author’s note: i used past tense for funsies and idk if i hate it or not so pls lemme know which u guys prefer (ok now onto the fic)

Dazai did not speak to or communicate with you for the rest of the journey. You’d think that would have been cause for relief or gratitude, but instead you found yourself feeling… nothing. Empty. Like the past few days had been nothing but a hazy dream. One that you feared you may never wake from. 

The trip was a five-day affair, a period of uneventful seafaring and mild weather. The dolphins you had seen one early morning were the highlight of your passing time. It was a pod of lively creatures that spun through the air and sped alongside the ship, each racing to be at the forefront of the group. Competitive things, they were. The freedom they enjoyed caused an ache in your chest to worsen—a feeling that you’d been in accompaniment with since childhood. 

The evening you arrived at the Empire’s capital, Yokohama City, a blaring horn sounded and the ship burst to life. Servants and workmen of all departments and status flew around the vessel in a bustling frenzy. You were ushered off the ship by an assortment of guards and handmaids, a group that tallied a total of eight people, excluding yourself. 

As you disembarked, you saw cartfuls of luggage being siphoned out the lower decks and onto the docks. The very docks that were swarmed with Imperial guards, officials, and servants. Each bore a golden insignia carved in the shape of a wolf’s head on their clothing—the seal of the royal family. It was the very symbol of Dazai’s lineage and power. 

You shifted your eyes away, only to immediately squint at the harsh sunlight. With a hand blocking the dizzying rays, you stepped forward, ready to push your way through the crowd. You were heir to their nation’s most formidable foe—respect was not a luxury you had much expectation of. 

But the moment you walked forward, a hush fell over the crowd, and a most startling thing occurred. Dazai’s people parted like the sea, carving out a path to the shining carriage that awaited you at the end of the road. 

You took another step and was surprised once again. Every single person there knelt before you, heads bowed in reverence. In respect. 

“This…” you faltered, unsure of yourself for the first time that week—since you first boarded the ship. “It is unnecessary.”

Dazai appeared from seemingly nowhere and stood beside you. “On the contrary. They are merely acting in accordance with what status dictates.” 

He leveled his gaze on you. “They treat you as they should—as a ruling half of the Kingdom. The better half.” 

Like a lion to a buzzing fly, you ignored him. Dazai frowned at your cold indifference, but decided to bite his tongue.

“Sire…” A soldier walked up to the King and began whispering in his ear, a bit frantic in his movements. Dazai’s brows knitted together, and you found yourself sorely curious about what sort of catastrophe could have made the normally nonchalant Dazai so anxious. 

A few more murmurs from the both of them and the knight was sent running off.

“Anything I should be concerned about?” You asked, your inquisitive nature got the better of you.

Dazai cleared his throat and averted his gaze as if he was wracking his brain for an answer. He finally settled on one. 

“Nothing for you to worry your pretty head about.” His tone was light; his smile big and cheerful. But you’d known this boy since the beginning of your lives. You could detect the tension in his jaw and the slight strain in his tone. Did he really think he could hide those things from you?

He hid many things, you reminded yourself. 

“A poor excuse. If you will not allow me to be informed, then just say so. There was no need to lie.” You looked him directly in the eyes as you spoke your next words, “After all, have you not done that enough?”

Dazai’s smile fell and his expression turned momentarily cold. He leaned down, so that you were nose-to-nose. You refused to flinch—refused to let him get the better of you. 

“I have done many things, Y/N. Some good, some questionable, and some bad. What I have never done is lie to you. Never,” he snarled. 

You would be taken aback at his quiet ferocity if it weren’t for the fact that Dazai had stopped being someone to fear a long time ago. Instead, you shrugged. 

“You could have fooled me.”

Without waiting for an answer, you turned and made your way down the path towards the carriage. Dazai followed behind in silence. He tried to open the door for you, but you got to it first, yanking it back with so much force the hinges seemed to protest out loud.

Dazai stumbled back just in time, narrowly missing a door to the face. “I understand your anger, but must you attempt to assassinate me on our first day back in my homeland? I am still King.”

“I am well aware of what you are. I just don’t care,” you state. 

With a roll of your shoulders, you stepped inside and took a seat on one end of the lavish vehicle. Velvet, gold trimming, and taffeta pillows made up the interior. The exterior was a whole other story—led by four white-coated stallions, the carriage was the same shining colour and gilded with gold leaves. Extravagant and dramatic—much like its owner. 

Dazai sat across from you and sighed. “You wound me.”

The carriage started to move. It was much smoother than you expected. The city lights blurred as the horses gathered speed, racing against the waning daylight. Nightfall would soon come, the setting sun in the distance was a clear indication. 

“It likely won’t be the only time,” you said. There was no remorse or sympathy to be found—you were void of them. 

“Y/N–” he started.

“Stop,” you interrupted him. Dazai’s mouth hung open mid-sentence as you continued. “I can barely tolerate your presence now. Do not make it worse by trying to converse once more. I have nothing to say to you and want to hear nothing of what you have to say to me.”

He shifted in his seat and leaned towards you, searching the planes of your face for any sense of familiarity. There was none. There were many things different about you, but many more just the same. The flickers of the old you that he saw in the stranger before him were about as fragile as glass, and much sharper. Much more… painful. 

“We are married. You can’t possibly avoid me for the rest of our lives.”

You stared at him, unwavering. “I won’t have to.”

A slight furrow of the brow was the only indication of his confusion. “What does… Never mind that. We must speak, no matter how uncomfortable it is.”

You scoffed. “Uncomfortable? I am sitting across from the man that murdered my mother. The man that I am now wed to against my will!” 

Dazai’s gaze fell to the floor at the anger rising in your voice. You didn’t stop.

“We are far past the realm of uncomfortable. You are lucky I do not slit your throat from where I sit. As far as I am concerned, that is more merciful than what you deserve,” you hissed. 

He swallowed and ran a hand through his dark hair. “That night—Y/N you must understand, I–”

Again, your irritation surfaced and you cut him off. “Understand what, Your Majesty? Will it change anything? Will it change the fact that you plunged a sword through my mother and left her bleeding on the palace grounds like a stuck pig?”

His expression shuttered, a mask swirling with shame, frustration, and restraint fell into its place. “No. It will not,” he admitted.

Your lungs stuttered at his blatant confession. You knew it to be true—saw it with your own eyes—but having Dazai confirm your fears and the abominable truth they hid behind… it was like a clamp had tethered itself to your heart and refused to let go. 

You forced any and all emotion from your expression and coolly regarded him. 

“Then whatever you wanted to say is unnecessary and irrelevant.” 

He tried to reply and voice his jumbled mess of emotions and thoughts, but the carriage had grinded to a stop and one of his own knights had opened the door for the both of you to exit from.

You had arrived at the Royal Castle; Dazai’s estate and your future home. 

You were greeted with a symphony of trumpets signalling your arrival, in pure noble fashion. A giant structure laden from stone and glass loomed over you. The palace stood in all its glory—six stories of spotless marble and glittering gold accents. It shone even in the shadow of night. 

Like always, knights lined up next to you and marched along as you entered the palace.

The foyer opens up into the second floor. Cascading steps as pristine as the rest of the palace sprouted from the center and widened into the arms of the second floor. Chandeliers hung from the painted ceilings that displayed artworks worthy of being in the holiest of cathedrals. Struck by the grandeur of it all, you almost forgot that it was the den of wolves. And you had just walked into it, with no one and nothing by your side except your wits.  

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Dazai asked, slightly breathless. If you had just turned towards him, perhaps you would understand why he seemed so awestruck at the sight of his own home. If you had just turned towards him… you would have noticed his eyes on you instead. 

“Truly fit for a King,” you muttered, gaze wandering across the statues and sculptures positioned around the room. 

Dazai smiled softly. A wave of pride washed over him as he said: “It is all yours, from now until forevermore.”

You shattered that pride within an instant. “It is not. It will never be.”

“Y/N–” He began. 

“I don’t want it. I want nothing of yours except perhaps…” You trailed off. 

Except perhaps your head on a silver platter, you thought. 

Dazai perked up. “Except what? Whatever it is, I will grant it if it is within my power. Actually, no, never mind that—tell me what it is, I will find a way to—”

Tired of his relentless energy and endless words, you briskly walked away from him toward an older looking man who stood in front of two other knights. He had long silver hair, the length was much like that of Chief Minister Kunikida. But that was where the similarities ended. Unlike the Chief Minister, the man before you was dressed in fitted armor and a cape, a heavy longsword resting by his side. He had a large build, and although his facial features were rugged and weathered, he still carried himself with an air of elegance. Like he had lived a thousand lives as a warrior and another thousand as a noble. 

“Good evening. What is your name?” You asked. 

The silver-haired man lifted an eyebrow, a mix of confusion and amusement coloring his expression. “Greetings to Your Royal Highness, I am Yukichi Fukuzawa, General of the Red Army.”

You cocked your head, faintly aware of Dazai in the background sulking. “The Red Army?”

“They are the throne’s guards. As well as the Kingdom’s first and last line of defense. The largest and strongest unit in my military,” Dazai interrupted, still sulking.

Again, you ignored him. “You are an impressive man, General Fukuzawa.”

The General’s lips quirked up into a slight smile, mirth glittering behind his eyes as he glanced over at his King. ‘You flatter me, Your Royal Highness, but I am merely a soldier doing his duty.”

“Such a shame, a handsome man like yourself off in the frontlines,” you sighed. 

“Handsome?!” Dazai squeaked from somewhere behind you. 

At that proclamation, the General let out a deep, rumbling laugh. It warmed you to the bones. “I am but an old man. You flatter me again.”

You smiled and held your hand out. He shook it, still shaking his head as his smile grew wider. 

“I think we are going to be fine friends, General.”

“I agree, Your Royal Highness,” he affirmed. 

Dazai cleared his throat violently—like a sickly cat hacking up a hairball. “Fukuzawa, why are you here?”

The General snapped his attention over to his lord, features turning serious again. “Sir. Aside from welcoming your darling spouse—”

You beamed. Dazai brooded. 

“I needed to speak with you regarding the Membrance campaign… Updates are scarce… No word back from the… Time is running out…”

You huffed. Great. More whispering and secrets that you were not privy to. 

You excused yourself as the two men whispered furiously to each other, both seemingly too lost in the urgency of the topic to care for your absence. Whatever it was must have been important, and you had to find out what it was about. 

A helpful maid guided you to your room—another luxurious suite that was situated on the palace’s top floor. From that distance, you could see the stretch of the country—all the way to the forest before the border. 

Finally alone, you pulled out your materials. A portfolio, an empty journal, twin daggers, and three vials of pure belladonna poison. 

The portfolio, thick with papers and files, was shoved into a locked drawer. You tied the key around your upper arm with a string, the item now hidden beneath the sleeves of your clothes. The daggers were strapped to your thigh with a specially-made holster, and the empty journal was laid upon your desk. The poison, glass pots of clear liquid, were arranged in a line in the back end of your bathroom medicine cabinet, hidden in plain sight. It was the one place no one but a doctor would look, and even then, you could just pass it off as misplaced cosmetics. They were unassuming and plain, and yet a small drop could fell a horse. 

You had barely shut the cabinet door before a knock sounded out. 

“Yes?”

“Your Highness, I am here to help you prepare for dinner,” a girl’s voice rang out. 

You allowed her in, although begrudgingly. The last thing you wanted was to have dinner with the King. 

The young girl flitted around your room, running around with a mountain of clothing selections in hand, not to mention the shoes and accessories.

“Surely such fineries are not required for mere dinner?”

She blinked. “Um… Your Highness, are you unaware of tonight’s event?”

Your left eye twitched. “Event?”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

“What event?” You dreaded the answer.

Again, the girl blinked. “Why, your welcoming banquet, of course.”

Forget the poison, you were going to strangle your groom the moment you set eyes on him tonight. 

The maid continued her busybodying—powdering, fitting, draping, bathing… the works.

As she sat you in front of the mirror, ready to finish your makeup and help you into the final attire choices, she asked: “Does Your Highness have any preference on visuals tonight?”

You stared at yourself in the mirror. A vacant shell stared back. 

“Make me devastating.”

hiiiii tags: @letsliveagaintoday​ @zjarrmiii

[eddies-house]

The Under-Ground (18+ ONLY)

Chapter Three - Sunday Night

Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 | Ch. 4 | Ch. 5 | Ch. 6 | Ch. 7 |

Modern!Barista!Eddie AU - Your best friend would never go behind your back...right?

Enemies to Lovers, Modern!Barista!Eddie AU, Eddie x Fem Reader

6K Words

Warnings - Eddie is an asshole, eventual smut, mentions of drugs and drinking, allusions to mental illness, I don't think there's anything else but please let me know if I missed anything

Author's Note: So it has almost been a month since I posted the previous chapter but we finally did it guys. Also shout out to @uglypastels for talking through one of my ideas for this chapter with me, I felt like I was going absolutely insane so she really helped me out.

Masterlist

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Hawkins High - Sophomore Year

It was mid August, school was just about to start but first there was an ice cream social the week before.  Usually you’d only see these for the elementary school but they’d started hosting them for the middle school as well the freshman and sophomores at the high school to give them a little head start in making friends and getting to know their teachers.  It was held in the parking lot where two ice cream trucks were parked and handing out cones left and right, only offering three flavors: vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry all for free.  

Your parents had played a big part in the Hawkins community, always helping to set up events and always making an appearance.  They had set out to create the perfect nuclear family with a picket fence and happy faces.  Your mom was on the PTA which meant you were forced to go to a number of school events.  This was one of them, you had no desire to attend an ice cream social especially as an established sophomore, you’d already attended last year’s as a freshman and you didn’t need to relive that.  And yet here you were, sitting on the curb in front of the school in the sweltering August heat while other teenagers created a ruckus throughout the parking lot, a few boys tossing melted ice cream at each other thinking they were the funniest people ever.  

None of your friends attended, obviously.  They weren’t forced to show up so that left you bored and sticky with a sheen of sweat gracing your skin and no one to talk to.  Steve Harrington was in attendance, more than likely also forced to show up because of his mom, however he was more of an acquaintance and someone that happened to always be at the same events that your parents dragged you to.  You watched as he performed little tasks as requested by his mother, the current one being to fetch a new box of Hawkins High t-shirts from the car.  Passing by you, he gestures to the box and rolls his eyes, an understanding between the two of you that this was ridiculous and neither of you had any desire to be here sweating profusely for the sake of your PTA moms and being their little assistants when needed.  You offer him a smile and a shrug, shaking your head as he sets the box on a fold up table, his mother shooing him away as he does.  You always wondered why his mom was so mean and dismissive but quickly took a step back to realize you were in the same boat, he just had more money that his parents would throw at him to get him to go away when necessary for them.  Yours just simply told you to find an activity when they had no interest in entertaining you.  

In any instance, you could appreciate that you and Steve were both lonely teenagers who always saw each other at these events and would sometimes convene and other times give each other mocking looks at how serious the adults were.  It was an ongoing game of who could roll their eyes the hardest and he always ended up winning.  After his mom waved him away, he plopped down right next to you, bowing his head in exhaustion and letting out a heavy sigh.

“Couldn’t get out of this one either?”  He asks with an empathetic smile.  

You shake your head, staring across the lot at all the families and groups of friends.  “Nope.”  You answer.

“Did you at least get ice cream?”  He questions, scraping his shoe against the pavement.  

“Nope.”  You reply, him muttering the same thing as you both laugh.  

“It’s gross anyway, it’s too hot even for ice cream.”  You elaborate while fanning yourself with an orientation brochure.  He agrees with a nod, running a hand through his damp hair, sweaty from lugging boxes around and doing just about anything his mom instructs him to do.  At least all you had to do was hand out the brochures.  

You and Steve continue to sulk on the sidewalk, miserable in the heat even at five in the evening while teachers introduce themselves to the incoming freshman.  Out of nowhere, a guy speeds past the two of you on the curb on a skateboard, abruptly coming to a stop in front of the table of PTA moms.  This was gonna be good, based on his looks, they were going to get a kick out of him.  You shared a look with Steve, an acknowledgement that you were thinking the same thing as you watched the scene play out.  The kid had to be your age at least, he didn’t seem like a freshman, had too much confidence and he appeared a bit older, maybe a junior?  He had a head of brown curls that were shaggy and messy, it looked like he was growing it out and he wore a black shirt with some kind of a demon on it along with some black jeans that were beyond distressed, denim threads hanging off of holes at his knees while he gripped his skateboard in one hand.  The board was pretty worn and looked as if it could snap in half if he stood on it wrong.  Your ears perked up as the moms took a look at him.

“Oh!  Wh-what can we do for you?”  One asks hesitantly, the others staring at him with wide eyes.  He only avoids their eyes, opting to fidget with the grip tape on his board, a piece that was beginning to peel off, that typical teenage boy grumpiness evident in his demeanor.

“Community service.  Name’s Eddie.  What d’ya need me to do?”  The kid grumbles.

Your mom takes a look at a clipboard and nods reluctantly.  “You’re late.”  She says with a scowl.  He shrugs, staring up at the sky as if he’d much rather be anywhere else and you couldn’t blame him.

“Well then.”  Your mother fiends offense.  “You can start by…”  She trails off, searching around for a task, her gaze focusing on anything that remains to be done, no doubt seeking something more difficult in order to punish the boy for being so late.  “Untangling these lanyards.”  She demands, shoving a small box into his arms.  He bites his lip, holding back from saying something before just accepting his fate and nodding.  As he turns, he catches your eye, doing a double take as he looks expectantly, you were staring first after all.  How could you not?  He was cute.  

You mouth a “sorry” while vaguely gesturing to your mother though he wouldn’t know it was your mom.  You proceed to do a dramatic eye roll like you would do to Steve and this elicits the smallest smile from him, a gorgeous smile framed by deep dimples.  The boy proceeded to set his skateboard against the curb by himself before slumping down, beginning his daunting task of untangling several knotted up lanyards.

Steve stares at you with furrowed brows before speaking.  “You know him?”  He asks.

“No, never seen him before.” 

Admiring his face as he sticks his tongue out to concentrate, you start to flush when he glances back up at you with a shy smile this time, peeking up at you from beneath his lashes, your stomach fluttering.  Eddie.

—

Present Day

The mall wasn’t somewhere you found yourself frequenting as of lately due to your financial situation however you couldn’t turn down Will’s plea when he visited The Under-Ground on Saturday, the evening following when Jason Carver visited the shop and mysteriously left without purchasing a coffee.  That fact lingered in your mind since it happened.  Will was in desperate need of some new shoes and also wanted to catch a movie that no one else would watch with him, he mentioned that Joyce gave him extra money to cover both of your tickets.  You should feel humiliation at the fact that Joyce insisted on paying for you but you know there is no judgment there from her and Will more than likely told her you were the only one that would be willing to go.  He knew you would say yes to a cheesy rom com that everyone else would gag at and in a way, you were like a sister he never had that could appreciate his feminine side.  Joyce appreciated this so she would ensure Will got his big sister time in.  

So here you were, Sunday afternoon strolling along Hawkins’ streets with Will on your way to Starcourt.  He didn’t have his license yet and you’d never even bothered to get yours which worked out really seeing as you would never be able to save up enough for a car, not even a used one.  Walking did you good anyway, that's what you told yourself as the days got colder.  

“No, I’m serious!  El refuses to watch rom coms.”  Will laughs as he kicks a pebble along the sidewalk, the same pebble he’d been kicking around since ten minutes ago when you’d left his driveway.  

Brow raising in curiosity, you offer him a scoff in response.

“What!?”  He smiles wide, happy, actually happy.  

Will had been through some rough patches with being bullied at school for everything under the sun.  His sexuality, playing DND, being quiet and shy, the list goes on.  A dumb list at that.  The other boys also had trouble however Will seemed to crumble the most under it all.  Though he had an amazing support system, the mind can really infect itself with its own nasty diseases of self hatred which led to endless nights in solitude, declining to hang out with anyone for weeks and instead collecting dust in his room.  

Jonathan confronted you, worried at one of Steve’s movie nights confiding in you that his brother wasn’t doing so well and that no matter what he did, Will continued to sleep for a majority of his time at home and even skipped school a lot.  Both you and Jonathan stepped into your older sibling roles and decided that night to head back to the Byers while Jonathan explained on the way there that not even El could get through to him which meant things were really bad.  So, when you and Jonathan barged into his room that night with various snack options and a plan to watch his favorite movie all together in his bed, Will was overwhelmed but in the best way possible.  Sure it didn’t fix everything, that’s not how it worked but it was the first little push toward being himself again.  As long as he had the people he loved around and loved him for who he was authentically, he could walk the horrifying Hawkins High halls in confidence that this place was temporary.  It also helped that you reminded him that he’s never alone at school either, Lucas, Dustin, Will, Mike, Max, and El were all going through the same hell he was and that you were sure they wouldn’t mind if he talked with them about it.  But even if he didn’t feel comfortable, you’d be there to listen along with Jonathan, attempting to help him carry the weight on his shoulders.  

“I’m sorry, little miss ‘soap operas’ refuses to watch a rom com?”  You smile in disbelief.

“I didn’t say it made sense!”  Will giggles, throwing his hands up in defense.

Starcourt Mall emerged in the distance from over the horizon as you completed your fifteen minute walk from the Byers, the weekend crowd was prominent as it was almost the only place within a hundred mile radius to do anything fun.  Kids squealed as they chased each other all the way up to the entrance, their parents scolding them through gritted teeth while uttering the threat of not getting ice cream later if they didn’t behave.  It was far too cold for ice cream but to each their own.

“Well we don’t need her anyway.  She hogs up all my Will time.”  You joke, nudging an elbow into Will’s ribs.  

“There’s no need to fight over me, there’s plenty of Will to go around.”  His eyes glimmered with life, something you hadn’t seen a lot of until more recently.  He had sparked this new found confidence that had you beaming at him with pride.  Little Byers, the group’s timid little brother, the youngest out of all of the kids, was growing into himself as he worked through adolescence and it was refreshing. 

“Oh, really?  As I recall, you have a waitlist and the only reason I got ahead of everyone was because El booted herself out this one time.”  You cock a brow at him, the two of you pushing through the heavy glass doors entering the building.  “How’d you get all popular on me, huh?”  You tousled his hair and although he was now taller than you, he was still Little Byers.

“I did NOT get ‘all popular on you’.”  He uses air quotes, that huge grin still plastered to his face while you walked absentmindedly through the mall, the smell of cinnamon invading your senses, instantly filling you with a craving for a soft pretzel covered in cinnamon sugar and icing. 

“No, you’re for sure Mr. Popular now.”  You playfully assure him.  

“Trust me.”  He sing songs, rolling his eyes.  “If I were, Eddie would’ve kicked me to the curb.  And he hasn’t…so hah.”  Will points a finger in your face.  Your face winces at the name though you keep to yourself as to not rain on his parade.  “He did, however, almost disown me last night when I won against him in Mario Kart.”

Mario Kart?  Only you and Will played Mario Kart.  Or so you thought up until this point.  It’s a stupid thing to be upset over, really but you couldn’t shake the bitterness that rattled in your bones.  It was a game, a video game that basically every person on planet earth had heard of and played.  And yet the only reason it felt like such a personal attack was none other than a common occurrence in your life recently, Eddie Munson.  So maybe when you mumbled your next words, you attempted to hide the sour tone but ultimately only outed yourself.

“Mario Kart?  You play–with him?”  Pathetic, you’re pathetic.  The fact that you spoke such a stupid sentence into existence is beyond you.  There was a jealousy coursing through you, spilling out of your lips and no matter how hard you tried to shove it back into the duffle bag of your body, there was no coming back.  Over a game called fucking Mario Kart of all things.  

Will nervously wavered in his response, side eyeing you as you both continued to make your way through the mall and to the discount shoe store.  “Yeah?”  It came out as a question, god you could just punt yourself down a football field right now for being a literal adult fuming in envy over another adult playing a video game with your basically adopted little brother.  “He came over last night after work.  It was me Jonathan, and him…”  You were practically making the poor kid defend himself over something completely okay.  “He’s been coming over a lot actually?  We play DND, Mario Kart, he brings over pizza.  Like once a week since summer.”  Will acts as if you had this information.

Summer.  When Will fell into his biggest episode to date, when everyone had plans of their own including Dustin with summer camp, Mike regrettably embarking on a trip to Washington DC with his dad, Lucas traveling around for his summer basketball program, El and Max bonding over their boyfriends being away and having girls night after girls night, and of course the adults with their jobs.  He had felt so outcast and alone.  You're suddenly beginning to realize that you weren’t the only one to tend to Will’s emotional wounds besides Jonathan.  There was a bigger picture here and though you hate to step back and look at it, you’re forced to realize that Eddie was also acting as a protector of Will’s sanity, assuming just as big of a role as you and Jonathan.

You shouldn’t ask, you shouldn’t dare trek into this territory but the words tumble out before you can even think, your shoulders relaxing and eyes softening at the boy before you.  “Were you too scared to tell me?”

Will shakes his head as he hesitantly starts to enlighten you.  “No–I just–I–”  He sighs, frowning.  “I thought you already knew.  A-and I never talk about him around you–or I try not to as best as I can because–because I know how much you hate him.  Like anytime you see him you look like you just wanna rip his head off.”  Will has moved into full rambling mode.  “And now–now you work together so I’m trying to be extra careful, so–so I’m sorry.  For mentioning him.”  

You have reached a point so low that you were now unintentionally making Will apologize for things that were never his fault or ever revolved around him.  Anxiety flashes in his eyes and you were giving yourself the goldstar for being the shittiest person alive.  “Will…”  You croak out.  “Will, no.  You don’t owe anyone an apology, I owe YOU an apology.  I didn’t mean for this to affect you like that.”  You explain, pausing in front of the store.  “Will, I’m sorry.  Please never worry about mentioning him in front of me, okay?  Not for my sake, I’m a big girl and you’re right, I don’t like him but I will have to learn to deal with it whenever he comes up.  Okay?”

There’s a pause as he absorbs your words, his eyes shyly looking to the ground and then back to you.  “Okay.”  He whispers, still uncertain.  You would need to visit this again at another time, you were not about to cause more turmoil for him just because of your personal vendetta and you can’t believe you didn’t see how it affected him before.  Will had enough with his dad causing issues in his life, he didn’t need two more bickering adults further proving that no one was ever happy.  You would keep your waging war with Eddie out of his sight.  The sudden shift in the air was enough to leave you numb, quickly clinging onto any remaining normalcy from your earlier conversation.

—

The scent of freshly popped popcorn, warm and buttery goodness filled the theater as you walked drowsily into the hallway decorated with multicolored carpet and little designs of stars with abstract shapes.  Nothing ever prepares you for the feeling of seemingly being transported to another realm the second you step out of a two hour movie and back into the real world.  Every other soul that had sat through the romantic comedy appeared to feel the same, zombies waddling out of the theater and into the main lobby heading back into reality.  It had to have been around 8:30 PM by now, the day long gone as there was no longer any trace of sunlight streaming in through the windows.  Will had been talking your ear off about the movie, the parts that were super unnecessary, scenes that had him on the brink of tears, and how the twist at the end was a sloppy way to conclude the story.  You hummed in response to his complaints, nearly asleep and yearning for your bed no matter how stiff it made your back.  

“You know, now I can kinda see why El hates these movies sometimes.”  He admits much to your surprise however you knew he’d never say those words directly to her.  

“Don’t let her catch you saying that.”  You warn playfully, the two of you pushing through the heavy metal doors leading to the mall parking lot.  

“Not a chance-”

Will is abruptly silenced when a familiar voice chimes in, happily wrapping his arms around both you and Will from behind.

“You guys went to the movies!?  Why wasn’t I invited?”  Dustin’s overly excited tone made you want to groan but you held back.  It wasn’t his fault you were on your way to becoming a grumpy adult who needed to be in bed by at least 9:00 PM.  

Will shoves Dustin’s arm off of his shoulder, turning to walk backwards as you continue your trek through the parking lot.  The grin on his face is genuine rather than masking some kind of true emotions like he’d previously done throughout summer.  “Cause we saw a rom com.”  It’s all he needs to say as Dustin fakes a gag.  “That’s why.”  Will gestures to him with a roll of his eyes.  

“Fair.”

The neon lights from the theater created a glow throughout the lot, bright reds, greens, blues, and yellows reflecting off of the cars.  The mall was still buzzing with people regardless of the stores closing, groups of teenagers and young adults scattered throughout the benches at the front creating a hum of clustered talking and every now and then, the annoying screech of some teenage girl overdramatically yelling to her friends about something was heard.  Dustin and Will continued catching up and you’d think that with them seeing each other every single day at school, they’d grow sick of one another but it was quite the opposite and once you got them going there was no shutting them up, no matter the setting.

The boy’s voices slowly phased out of your mind as you approached the back of the lot catching sight of something familiar but it wasn’t yet dawning on you where you knew it from.  A van, an older van.  Brown and white.  Barely ever seen out and about these days.  And before you could even register who it belonged to, a disheveled Steve suddenly hopped out the back doors, rushing to zip up his jeans as his chest heaved and he ran a hand through his voluminous hair.  A flash of realization crossed your features, eyes widening and jaw dropping.  

Eddie Munson’s van.  

Steve Harrington was stumbling out of Eddie Munson’s van after presumably committing unspeakable acts based on his flustered demeanor and attempts at cleaning himself up.  There was no mistaking it when the back of his hand wiped his mouth and to further confirm your suspicions, the man himself stepped out seconds later.  Eddie stood there, fly still undone while he stretched both his arms over his head, shirt riding up to show off a glimpse of his pale torso.  His curls were even more wild than usual and a smirk displayed on his face as he made some kind of comment to Steve.  

In your shocked state, you’d completely drowned out Dustin and Will’s banter, attempting to understand the scene playing out before you in the corner of the parking lot.  This wasn’t possible, Steve hated Eddie just as much as you did and although it was for different reasons than your own, it was hatred nonetheless.  If that was the case then why was this happening?  How could this be happening?  The questions remained unanswered as you realized you’d stopped dead in your tracks, falling behind the boys as they turned back to stare at you with puzzled expressions.  Your next question was thrown out the window due to Dustin doing a double take at the two men.  Do I draw attention to this or do I let it go like I never saw?  

It was now too late for the second option as a gasp escaped Dustin, he just had to look right when Eddie teasingly tugged Steve in by the belt loop and planted one last sloppy kiss to his lips before retreating to the driver’s side of his van, not even bothering to zip up his pants while Steve returned to his own car.  Things were about to become massively more complicated.  For Steve.  For you.  For your friendship.  Even for Dustin and Will who were utterly flabbergasted by what had just played out in front of them.  Because everyone knows Steve hates Eddie, right?  That’s just how the world goes.  Steve hates Eddie, Eddie hates Steve.  They’re polar opposites.  Nothing was adding up and poor Dustin and Will were about to experience something you wished so badly you could hold back.  There was no controlling it, you found yourself marching up to Steve’s car before he was even able to open the door, wedging yourself between him and the car.

“Steve.”  His name is spat right at him like venom, your face showing the distaste you had for him in this moment but he couldn’t quite gather if it's because you’d caught him or if this was you and you dramatics once again over something as simple as taking a rain check on driving Max and El to the arcade since they didn’t have their licenses yet.  

“Socks?”  He has the audacity to seem lost and it only fuels the fire growing inside of you.  

“Don’t.”  You warn through clenched teeth.  

Suddenly it feels as if it's only you and Steve in the parking lot, your eyes shooting daggers at him and he can only imagine that he fucked up.  And this time it was bad by the way your face flushed with anger, steam practically coming out of your ears.  Dustin and Will kept their distance near a dumpster, close enough to listen in but still somewhat hidden.  You didn’t want them to witness what you were about to unleash but it came out of nowhere, like a dam breaking and releasing all of its contents.

“How.  Dare.  You.”  Each word is enunciated with a harsh poke to his chest, his brown eyes becoming sadder with each one.

“I don’t-”

“If you’re about to tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about then I don’t even recognize you anymore, Steve.”  

He visibly deflates, shoulders shrinking as if he was a puppy that was caught doing something it wasn’t supposed to.  Except he was a grown man and he knew exactly what he was doing, he knew if you found out it would possibly cost your friendship. 

“It wasn’t supposed to–I–wasn’t–you gotta understand–”

“Understand what?  I think I understand perfectly!  You and Munson are messing around and you’re doing it behind my back!  What, is this some kind of prank?  Are–are you helping him get at me for something?  Did I push your buttons a little too hard one day and you decided to hit me where–where it hurts most?”  You were genuinely trying to name reasons for why he’d do such a thing knowing how much it would affect you but there was no making sense of it in your brain.  You were desperate to know why one of the closest people in your life would betray you in such a way.  

“No!  No I–”  

“Enlighten me then, Steve.  Cause I don’t get it!  Out of every single person you could choose, you fuck Eddie!?”  Tears were brimming at your eyes, your hand tightening on the door handle as you tried to regain some composure.

“If I may interrupt…”  Another voice chimed in a few feet away, the last voice you’d ever want to hear, especially at this moment.  “There was no fucking.”  Eddie leaned against the side of his van a few parking spots over, arms crossed and a cocky look on his face.  You swore you wanted to kill him, pure rage was coursing through your veins.  You wanted to kill both of them if you were honest.

Steve mumbled your name in sorrow, searching for answers just as much as you were.  “I didn’t mean for anything like this to happen.  I wasn’t trying to hurt you, I swear.  It–it just happened.”  A sigh of defeat escapes him while his hand rubs the back of his neck anxiously.  

The tears began to build up, breaking the barrier of your waterline and falling down your cheeks as you attempted to quickly wipe them away.  “If you didn’t mean to hurt me then why did you hide it?  Does Robin know?”  The question held such power over him, it was a deciding factor in what your next move was.  

Seconds pass although it feels like several minutes due to the tension.  He avoids your eyes, opting to further inspect the asphalt below.  Feeling yourself becoming more agitated and wounded, you roughly shove his shoulder with the palm of your hand causing him to stumble back a few steps.

“Steve.”  Still no answer.

This time you step forward to shove him again but with both hands, unable to comprehend how he can’t even admit his truth to you, only to be stopped when a taller figure steps in between the two of you, grabbing your wrists in his hands.  It takes you by surprise and at first you have no idea who would’ve stopped you but as you look up, you’re met with deep brown irises that you’d come to dislike even more in the last few minutes.  

“Take a breather.”  There’s something in his eyes you don’t recognize but you’re too far gone to analyze it.

“Let.  Go.”  

“Take.  A.  Breather.”  His grip on your wrists is firm but not unkind.  

“Eddie, I think you should just let us–”  Steve attempts to butt in but Eddie glances behind him with a warning written on his face.

“Harrington, I’d shut up if I were you right now.”  

“You have no business stepping into this, Munson.  Let.  Go.”  Wriggling around in an attempt to get out of his hold but failing, you huff out a breath, still glaring at Steve over Eddie’s shoulder.

“It is my business.”  

“Let go.”  Your voice regrettably comes out cracking, more tears involuntarily falling.  

And he does.  Eddie lets go, showing you his hands in surrender to which you try to shove past him only to be held in place by your shoulders.  It felt like it was you against the world and you kept losing.  

“Look, I know you’re not my biggest fan and now you’re not Harrington’s either but you need to take a minute.”  Again, you meet his eyes briefly only to find some kind of emotion lurking in them but you can’t pinpoint exactly what it is.  This isn’t something you’re used to, why was Eddie being the middleman, why was he talking you down out of everyone?  Why was there a drop of sympathy pouring from his gaze?  And then you decided, it had to have been sympathy for Steve, not you.  And that stung for some reason.  

Poor Dustin and Will still lingered near the dumpster, deciding to keep themselves out of it, rightfully so.  Even as you glanced toward them, taking in their concerned faces, you continued.  It was like something was set off deep within you and Steve’s actions released it.  Grabbing a fistful of Eddie’s shirt in your hand, you scowled at him and then Steve.  

“You don’t get to tell me what to do.”

“I do when you’re about to do something you’ll regret.  In front of Dustin and Will.”  That’s where he got you.  Releasing his shirt, you sigh.

You weren’t sure what you were about to do but you knew it was something along the lines of verbally ripping Steve apart and possibly trashing any chance of ever redeeming your friendship.  You slowly realized that you were again, creating reason for Will to see you as a loose canon.  Another adult in his life that flew off the rails and failed him because you proved that you could not handle simply existing in the same world as Eddie Munson.  And yet, Eddie Munson was standing right in front of you trying to talk you out of creating such a horrible reality.  Suddenly you felt so small, so insignificant as each one of them stared at you, awaiting your next actions almost fearfully.  Steve was apologetically gazing at you from behind Eddie, seeming to have words lodged in his throat but not succeeding in finding a way to speak them.  Will watched you with worry, Dustin next to him with an expectant expression.  You couldn’t bear to exist anymore since showing Will that side of yourself after assuring him earlier that you’d be fine and to not refrain from mentioning Eddie just because of your own personal issues.  

So you crumbled.  Right there in the parking lot at around 8:57 PM according to a peek at Eddie’s watch, his hand still resting atop your shoulder.  Hot, fat tears began rolling down your cheeks rather than the smaller, more controlled ones from earlier.  Steve urgently moved forward but Eddie removed one hand from you and held it in front of him to stop, Steve staring at him confused but still obeying.  You began to stumble backward, the urge to hide yourself prominent but Eddie held you in place for reasons unknown.  His attention wasn’t required in this situation, he should theoretically just hop into his van and drive off but he doesn’t. 

Out of the corner of your blurry vision Will approached and yet again Eddie held a hand out as a signal to stop.  It was all too overwhelming, why was Eddie helping?  Or was he sabotaging in some fucked up way?  Using your moment of weakness against you.  How could you let yourself lash out like that in front of Will?  Even in front of Dustin?  The right thing to do would’ve been to wait to talk it out with Steve in private but no, you had to self sabotage.  And now you looked like a villain despite Steve being the one who did the damage.  Sure Eddie could be to blame too however something like this was to be expected from him, never from your best friend.  

Body shaking, you began to feel paralyzed, nerves tingling and breath shallow as you succumbed to your anxiety.  Everyone’s eyes on you didn’t aid in calming your tantrum.  It wasn’t fair, you weren’t the one betraying your friend and yet it felt as if you were taking the blow.  Will frantically looked from you to Eddie, having trouble deciding if you were crying because of Eddie or because of Steve or both.  This was out of his scope and he couldn’t distinguish a path to follow in order to bring you peace.  But he didn’t need to.

“Byers, Henderson.  Ride home with Harrington.  I’ll take her home.”  Eddie instructs, no longer touching you but still keeping his eyes glued to you, wide but attentive.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”  Will asks cautiously.

“You think it’s a good idea to put her in a car with Harrington right now?”  Eddie references your outburst with a raise of his brow, Will nodding immediately in understanding.

If you had to be in a car with one of them, Eddie seemed to be the better option at the moment.  No matter how much you hated him, he wasn’t your target right now and judging by the way you didn’t run from Eddie as he tried to coax you toward the van, everyone seemed to agree this was the only option.  God only knows what would happen if you were placed in the passenger seat of Steve’s car in this state.  You weren’t thinking clearly.

You vaguely recall Dustin offering to walk you to the passenger side and Eddie responding that he was taking care of it and that he was trying to keep the environment the least bit stimulating due to your current anxiety.  Adding another person might’ve made things worse and Dustin agreed as he made his way to Steve’s car.  You caught pieces of the exchange but overall you found yourself in that frightening place between reality and your brain that wasn’t allowing you to fully understand the events happening around you and you couldn’t determine what exactly had set it off but one moment you were standing in the parking lot screaming at Steve, the next Eddie was urging you to take a breath, and then you were in the passenger seat of his van.

~end~

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